God Awful Movies - 528: The Conjuring: Last Rites

Episode Date: October 14, 2025

This week, we continue the Spooktacular with guest masochists Katie and Allen from Werewolf Ambulance and a theater visit to see the latest in the inexhaustible Conjuring franchise. --- Check out more from Katie and Allen on Werewolf Ambulance If you’d like to make a per episode donation and get monthly bonus episodes, please check us out on Patreon: http://patreon.com/godawful Check out our other shows, The Scathing Atheist, The Skepticrat, Citation Needed, and D&D Minus. Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars. If you’d like to hear more, check out their Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/ Report instances of harassment or abuse connected to this show to the Creator Accountability Network here: https://creatoraccountabilitynetwork.org/

Did you not know that I am and was a professional magician for eight years? I did not know that. Just when you thought I couldn't get cooler, Alan. I know you all didn't hear Katie just now, but I assume it was because of the giant sploosh she was trying to cover up. I hate magicians. Upon learning. Yeah, of course you do. You're a human with dignity.

Oh, that's taking it a bit far. You know my man, Eli, he'll see Magnet, Bob. Let me tell you something about it. God-awful movie. Movies. Movies. Welcome back to the Gamcast, where each week we sample another selection from Christian cinema because we've all got our own kink.

I'm your host, No Illusions. Heath will be unable to join us this week, but sitting 900 miles to my northeast is my bad friend Eli Bosnick. Eli. How are you this fine afternoon, sir? I'm fantastic, Noah, because this right here's my kink, sir. I know it is. I know that it is. And of course, one of the best things about the October spooktacular is that it's a great excuse to welcome back our friends from Werewolf Ambulance. Katie, Alan, welcome back. Hey guys. Hello. We missed you. This is also my kick. All right. Spuctacular. It works out real well. So tell us, Katie, what will we be breaking down today?

We're talking about the brand new conjuring film Last Rights. It's basically just jerking off two of the worst people on the planet for two hours and 15 goddamn minutes. Sure, there's like 42 minutes of horror movie in there somewhere maybe. Maybe.

What is this part nine? I think this is the ninth movie in the controversy. And Alan, how bad was this movie? Oh, bad, bad, bad, bad. Bad, bad, bad, bad, bad. The only thing that could have been worse is if once again Ed Warren

did his Elvis impersonation which he did not do. No, all right. No, he did not. All right. Yeah, this was a weird one for me because I was coming in cold. I have not watched any of the other conjuring movies.

I think we did one on the show, but I was off that week or I've erased it entirely from my memory. Hot tip, don't. Yeah, down. Just pass them on by. Pass them on by. Well, what's funny about the. Conjuring franchise is that

Conjuring one is good because they completely ignore all the real stuff about the Warrens and the Annabelle doll and just made a good scary movie. And so everybody was like, oh my gosh, like Warren material must be gold. And so the rest of the time they've just been scraping the

bottom of this empty barrel desperately trying to figure out what people liked and it was not the Warrens. Yeah. For people who don't know, you know that in the contract for making this movies, there's a clause that the warrants. There could not be any mention of the warrants and being

child predators. So just to let you know. Because they did have a 15 year old girl move in with them that Ed was amorous with as the internet likes to say, for life. Oh, wow. Doesn't. Whoa. What? What? Oh, now we're getting judgy on the

podcast this year. Okay. Being judgy is my kink. You guys are going to hate my surprise guest on next week's spooker. It's actually, we're watching a normal movie. Yeah, it's the spooktacket part is that my 14-year-old girlfriend is trying to. Oh, God, Jesus, dude. I live in a Southern State.

Eli is recording from jail. Oh, I can only wish. So is there anything you guys want to nominate this one for being the best, of being the worst at? I'm going to take best, worst antagonist, which would be multi-level home. Stairs take out no fewer than four characters in this film. There's at least four times.

I think there might even, no, because right, the fifth time is falling through the ceiling. Nope, you're right. So it's only four stairs. But that's about four too many. Oh, yeah, no, 100%. Going in with our previous topic, the best, worst, good guys.

Oh, yeah. Sure, for sure. For sure. What's funny is, like, look, these are reputation rejuvenator movies for the Warrens, and they keep accidentally telling true stories about the Warrens, right?

They keep accidentally being like, well, and then they ran the fuck away because shit got too real. Yeah, right, right. Yeah, we have this mythology on our podcast that I totally forgot about until we watched this movie that is that the Warrens absolutely hate their daughter Judy

and just try to spend as much time away from her as possible. Oh, interesting. And I think that comes up in there. This movie backs that up. She's like, you never loved me and they're like, yeah, well, yeah. Yeah. Okay, so here's the thing. This movie made me look into the relationship between Judy and her parents

and it is fascinating. Now, I have a lot of theories that are unproven and probably illegal to say out loud on a recorded podcast. but like I think this was a genuine family that had like a hon you got to get on the family business moment and she was like know your con people I don't want to and this is the movie retelling of that moment interesting and just as accurate as the rest of the retelling of their of their stories in this franchise yeah so okay I was going to go with

best worst mysterious backstory so we're going to meet a character who used to be a cop and we set that up the very beginning of the movie that oh, I'm going to tell you my mysterious backstory of why I'm no longer a cop later. And, man, I'll tell you what, it is, it's not great. Yeah. It's not great.

It's also so banal, like, nobody fucking, it's the, like, least carable backstory. It reminded me of, and well, so I have a fun thing that I do, and you guys might judge me for it. So open your hearts. We'll decide if it's fun. Which is sometimes if I'm at a social gathering

and I'm bored, I'll make up a crazy lie about someone at that. social gathering to another person at the gallery. Noah has watched me do it multiple times. He does it on the show sometimes. Yeah. I'll be like, did you not know Craig's dad invented tooth whitening? And what it is is I've created a little prank time bomb,

which is that that person will later walk up to that other person who I've lied about and been like, so I hear your dad invented tooth whitening? And that person will be like, what the fuck are you talking about? But I'm gone, or it's months later. And so it's a fun little prize for me. a low-rent Loki. I'm a low-rent-loki. Thank you, Alan. Mischievous, handsome, sexual object, exactly what I am. So I do that. Sometimes you'll fuck a horse. That's exactly. That's what Tony's backstory is like in this film. It's like a prank I pulled on the movie several months ago.

Right. No, he might as well go like, yeah, no, I just didn't like the commute. It was a bad commute. So, yeah. Now I work downtown. Yeah, but you have to get in there. It's a bad commute. And God helped me I'm going to go with best, worst, missing details. So we actually recently talked about the Smurl haunting over on Skating Atheist because we were talking, yeah, we did a who's woo about the Warrens. And so Marsh told a little bit of the story of the Warrens and a little bit about the Smurl haunting. And of course, because they are incredibly silly, they have left out a tremendous amount of

the silliest details about the Smurl haunting, including the fact that both the parents in the Smurl haunting. said that they got raped by a pig demon. What? Well, one was a pig demon, the other was an old lady demon. It was, yeah, there was multiple rapy demons in the house. Yeah.

So, why would, right? Yes. Exactly. Why would they deprive of the rapy pig demon? Because there was, because I promise you, they liked used mid-jurney and AI generated a couple seconds of that scene.

They were like, guys, I literally cannot stop laughing. We cannot put it in the right way. All right. Fair. Fair. Fair. All right, well, even just thinking about having to watch this entire goddamn movie

and theaters again makes me need to pee. So we're going to take a quick break before we dive into all the been there, done that. That is The Conjuring Last Rites. Eli, stop. We are midway through October. The answer is no. Hey, guys. What's you doing?

Yeah, what's the matter? Eli wants to cut me open and use me like a taunton. Again? You guys promised. Well, I'm sorry, Katie, but I'm trying to keep cozy this fall. And if there's a better way to do it, then taun-taunting Alan, I don't know it. I feel like you do, though. Eli, if you want to stay comfortable and stylish this winter, why don't you just try quince?

What's? Quince has the kind of fall staples that you'll actually want to wear on repeat, like 100% Mongolian cashmere from just $60, classic fit denim, and real leather and wool outerwear that looks sharp and holds up. $60? How do they manage that? By partnering directly with ethical factories and top artisans, Quince cuts out the middlemen to deliver premium quality

at half the cost of similar brands. But have you actually tried it? I have. I gave Quince to try when they became a sponsor. Their sweaters are so comfortable, I bought two more on my own. That's why I, Noah Lusions, personally endorse Quince. All right, Noah, I'm sold. Where do I sign up? Layer up this fall with pieces that feel as good as they look. Go to quince.com slash awful for free shipping on your order

and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada, too. That's Q-U-I-N-C-E-D-com slash awful. Free shipping and 365-day returns. Quince.com slash awful. All right, Alan. Looks like no taun-toning for you, my friend. Great.

Can I take the horns off? I would prefer you not. Two votes. Thank you, Katie. All right, everyone. Welcome to the first writer's room meeting for conjuring last rights. Do you promise this is the last one?

Dollar in the jar, Irene. Stupid jar. Look, guys, look, I know at this point we've made a lot of movies about the Warrens and that people only liked one of them and the one they did, like, absolutely had nothing to do with the Warrens. But I'm sure that if we keep telling stories from their lives, one of them is going to hit. Okay, fine.

Which one are we doing this time? Okay, I was thinking we could do the smurril haunting. the smurl haunting the one where the lady says she got fucked by a pig demon well we're not going to include that part what about the part where the guy says he was raped by an old lady demon also not including that part okay what about the part where the levitating kid

was just jumping on a bed that was a different haunting no gosh guys look we're going to make up our own stuff okay with a demon and a suicide mirror and Annabelle seriously dude Annabelle again? It's the only thing we've ever written that anybody liked.

I don't think they liked it that much. Yes, it did, Steve. They fucking did. For the record, we hated that movie. It's so fucking bad. It's so bad. And we're back for the breakdown and we're going to open up with Ed and Lorraine Warren interviewing some lady about a haunting back in 1964. Yeah, right. Basically, the subtitle might be we can't believe we're doing this again either. The movie. Right.

Jesus. And I would imagine that this interview is probably based on a real interview that they did, like that there's actual audio recording of. And I say that because like otherwise it would be more interesting. The woman is just like she's clearly describing my dad had, you know, the symptoms of a mental illness. We acted like it was a haunting and eventually he hanged himself.

Yes. If someone is hearing voices, you should probably get it looked at regardless of their age. And not by the warrants. Not like a doctor. Yes, exactly. Yeah, definitely not by the warrants. I assumed this was Judy at the beginning.

And I was like, well, of course I did that. He's a fucking scumbag. He took himself out. No, Jesus had to do it. Yeah, right, right. And she's like, you know, and after I found my dad, his corpse hanging in the living room, the house was really creepy. And I'm like, well, of course it fucking was, man.

But she assumes it's because there's a ghost there. Yeah, well, apparently. her dad made grandfather clocks and doll faces yeah I don't think there was any set of sitting you could have a wedding in your dad's office and everyone would be like this is a little spooky

so she's like you know but I think the ghost is locked in that storeroom right behind you right so they go to go into the storeroom and Ed's like I'm not so sure about this but Lorraine you know she's ready to kick that ghost ass, right? She's ready to do some shit.

They're ready to go. And again, if I can just victim blame a little more here, if you own a business that sells, as we see in this storeroom, creepy dolls, masks, and grandfather clocks, you're going to get a demon, okay? You open a Jimmy Johns, you're going to get me. You open a clock doll and

porium, you're going to get a demon. And if you are keeping this much merchandise back in the storeroom, not only are you dummies, but you're bad at business too. Yes, yes. Get that shit out there. Like, okay, and then So Lorraine's looking around Why not use a flashlight

Or turn on the overhead lights No, because it's more fucking creepy For her to wander in the dark, right? So she wanders around the dark There's this like there's something under a drop cloth So we do a big reveal on that And it's a mirror Now it is a mirror

I'm gonna go ahead and say right here This movie thought that the creepiness of that mirror Was gonna do a lot more work than it did They sure did It did not though It did not because it was just a mirror It's just a mirror Yeah

By the end of the movie they were resort to. It's a lot heavier than you think, though. Yes, right. It's making it self heavy, which is my favorite part of this movie. You just can imagine the like a toddler. Right, right, yeah, exactly. Exactly. Looking like a thwomp.

Yeah. This is a real horror from my back. Oh, yes. That's my joke about why I'm fat is so I'm ungovernable. The cops aren't going to want to carry me away at a protest. Exactly, yes. So, but yeah, but

Lorraine, though, she looks into the mirror and she can feel the ghost of the mirror's fear or whatever with her psychic powers. Yeah. I wrote my notes at this point, I'm already so fucking bored. And we should say that she's like nine months pregnant. Yeah, and this movie has no chill and thinks you're an idiot.

So to show you she's pregnant, she stands up, there's a key light behind her stomach so that there's an aurora around it. Yep. Baby in here, guys, baby. God's precious creation. They wall-dogged. Oh, yeah.

They might as well get like a tiny hand pushing through the fabric and giving us a thumbs up. Holding a tiny cross. Power of Christ. So, yeah, but suddenly there's a scary old lady in the mirror and that makes Lorraine go into labor. Or the fact that she was nine months pregnant made her go into labor. They have sometimes being massively pregnant will kick off a labor. It will just do that all by itself. So Ed rushes her to the hospital.

but something's wrong and it's very suspenseful, trust us. Yeah, there's blood all over her stomach which doesn't make sense because that baby is not currently coming out the sunroof? No, yeah. No, it is not, yeah.

And so my first thought, because they go for a long time like this baby's going to be miscarried or whatever. And I thought for a while, I'm like, wait, are they profiting off of Lorraine's miscarriage? They're not, right? You know they would? But yeah, exactly, exactly.

Like they wouldn't, right? Well, and here's the weird thing because they have actually hinted around at a miscarriage for nine movies, right? There are lots of, like, ghostly babies throughout the films. I've seen all these fucking things, and they are constantly doing the, like,

someday, right? So I thought we were all gonna play, like literally from the Conjuring One, there has been this payoff for the dead baby. Also, side note, I fucking Googled it. I don't think the Warren's had a miscarriage. No. Certainly not anywhere you can Google it.

Like, Reddit was like, did they have a miscarriage? I keep seeing it in their movies, but I could not see any source that said they had to, miscarriage. So I don't know why it kept being a theme for all 11 billion conjuring movies. But yeah.

Not to defend the warrants, but that may not be a thing that comes up in a lot of interviews. Yeah, it's possible. No, they would, though, because Judy would be their gift from God as a result of having lost the previous one. You got to milk God for all it's worth. And absolutely, there's no way in hell that the warrants wouldn't

have spun a, the demon came for our baby and killed it in uterus. A hundred percent. There's no chance that they wouldn't. They'd be selling commemorative coins of a demon, like, with their baby and a headlock on a subway floor for too long. So while she's in labor, the power goes out, right?

That's going to happen a couple of times in the movie because they're stupid and they can't think of anything new to do. No emergency generators in 1964 either. No, no, no, no. So, but then Lorraine, while this is happening, she sees a monster hand on the ceiling. Now, eventually I realized it was supposed to be Annabelle's hand, like a giant hand, but it looks like a child.

I'll be like Mickey Mouse glove of a hand, right? Because it's a doll hand. So it's just the least scary thing if you're not familiar with these movies. So this movie is so fucking dark and not in like a, ooh, right? Like, I can't see it. In a squinting way.

And I watch this at home. I paid $25. I own this. We both did. This was the dumbest fucking thing. We didn't even share it. We both bought it. Wait, let me check the U.S. box office, $25.

$25. So all of the stuff that happens in shadow, I have no idea what it is. Yeah, and I missed a lot because I'm looking down to write my notes half of the fucking movie because we watched this in theaters, or I watched it in theaters. So yeah, but then the baby's still born

and Lorraine's like, give it to me, I'm going to do magic, and the doctors are like, well, you know, hopefully the magic works. So she's like, oh, dear God, let this one be alive. And God's like, oh, you wanted an alive one. Got it. Sorry, it should have been more specific. Monkeys, Paul.

And, like, this is very sad, worst nightmare shit, like having a stillbirth. Oh, yeah. But seeing it happen to Lorraine Warren, I'm like, eh. Right? Right? It's an emotionally confusing part of the movie. It really is. This was the funniest part of the movie for me, because while all of this stuff is happening,

like her looking at whatever might be on the ceiling in the dark, the whole time I'm just giggling to myself because the doctor just has a flashlight and her hooter looking around for the movie. Just light coming out of her navel or her. whatever. They're like, what, how is that? I don't... Like, he lost his keys in there. I was wearing a watch. That's my grandfather's watch.

It's okay, but yeah, the medical staff can't believe the undocumented miracle. And then we get this, like, quick parenting montage. Yeah, it must be nice to have had a kid before there was Tylenol. Jesus. Oh, I'm sorry, I'm dead and a ghost. I'll be doing the rest of this episode as a ghost.

Oh, Heavenly Father, oh Sky Daddy. So we speed through Judy's growing up. What's funny is so they've CGIed these actors to look young at the beginning of the movie for that 1964 scene. But then they just stopped doing that throughout the montage. So it looks like, you know, when she comes in seven years old, it looks like her parents have aged 30 fucking years in that time. That wasn't CGI.

Those were different people. Oh. Wasn't it? Yeah, those were two different actors. Oh, really? Like the young them. There you go. Well, yeah, now I know why they didn't ease us into the old them.

Yeah, exactly. They were just like, in one door with the young hour. It was okay, but we learned during this montage that the daughter has, and she has the same bullshit psychic powers as her mom. He got the shine. Yeah, right. Yeah, she got the shine. So her mom teaches her like a,

litany against bullshit poem? Yeah. It's okay. I just want to go on the record as saying, I have a child this age. They say the most bat shit stuff.

Last week she woke me up at 2 o'clock in the morning to tell me that she dreamed about becoming one with a guitar through her skin. Like, this shit happens. Did you teach her a weird overly long poem?

I was like, go back to bed. You said snickety snocket, lickety locket. The chickety china. The Chinese chicken. Here's the thing, my child doesn't have psychic powers yet, although the telepathy tapes are giving me hope. But if I had a magic spell, I was teaching my child that made demons go away, I would choose a fast one. Sure.

This is a long and the length of it will be a problem throughout the movie. Also, if you are neglectful parents, are you going to teach your child a poem that at the end of it just says, you are not there? in my life, child, you are not bad. Yeah. Mommy's got to go make money. May I indulge in a bit of speculation? Sure, of course. Because I have no sources for this, but I know that in her early life, Judy was not

interested in having anything to do with their parents or their scam and said some things that are, I would say, like, about as close to my parents are frauds as you can get. And then when she got older, and, you know, the money probably ran out. she decided that she was a psychic and she'd actually had a bunch to do with her parents. I think this is the retelling of that. I think we're establishing her mythology so she can be an ex-man in future movies. This is obviously all set up for her and Tony to take over in part 10, right? So we don't have to keep paying these actors or whatever.

Yeah, we can have like we can have Gen 2 and bring them into a bunch of newer bullshit. I see. Yeah, right. So we're going to bring you back for Conjuring 10. I'm sorry to tell you. So. Yeah. Because Patrick Wilson has a gun and just points it at the door every time someone pushes a conjuring script.

Underneath it. Hey, Pat, you want to pay a pedophile again? No. Yeah. Yeah, what I got nothing else going on. Please, anything for a conjuring movie. I'll be a pedophile. Oh, God.

Seriously, if you think it's not hard to be Patrick Wilson, I challenge you to Google Patrick Wilson. and look at the AI-generated movies, which is quite literally just insidious and conjuring films, three fucking clicks in. You have to get to Aquaman before you get to a movie from 2018

before you get to a movie where he wasn't running around from a CGI doll. God, I hope he has a swimming pool in the shape of Ed Warren's head. There's no amount of money. There's no amount. He's looking at the comics

who went to Riyadh, and he's like, yeah, whatever. assholes. Join the big boys. Yeah, right. Side note, and I hate to distract our podcast, but did you guys see that a bunch of them tried to give the money to charity? And then charity was like, hey, actually, we're not allowed to take money from dictator. Yes. Yeah. Wow. I didn't know that. Yeah. Oh, it's the best. Good. Fuck that. It makes me so happy. So, okay, so now we're going to fast forward to 1986. We're in West Pittston, Pennsylvania. Right? And I love it. At first, I wrote my notes,

a guy arrives at a party, but it's not a party. It's just a Catholic family. It's so fucking many of them. It's just Italians. As an Italian, Pennsylvania, I will tell you that there is a lot of shouting. Yeah. But also, he arrives listening to the cult.

And I was like, okay, all right, all right, movie. I'm in. Let's go. Yeah, that's for you. That's a little present for you. Yeah. A little rockin 80s in there. Yeah.

So many times in my notes throughout this film, I go, Katie, you grew up in this. Is there any chance there was an exorcism? You just missed it. This just wasn't invited. They knew they might have caught you in it. My uncle did get filled with a demon, but my aunt was yelling at my niece at the time,

and they both had kitchen nights. So, you know, we missed it. We're not all from New Jersey, Eli. I agree to disagree. So that was my thing, because this house is so, like, noisy. I thought the whole time that, like, I bet this poltergeist has been trying to hunt these motherfuckers for years and just cannot get their goddamn attention, right?

Excuse me, excuse me, excuse me, I'm sorry, I'm just here to take your, excuse me, soul. If you could, uh, yeah, no, I'll pass the pasta. Okay, look, I'm here to steal your soul, but I'm also here to teach you that you don't have to shout upstairs. You can go upstairs and talk to the person you're looking for it. You absolutely cannot. How dare you? Oh, we're not all from New Jersey, huh? She's not yelling Brianna off the steps.

All right, so, but what we're seeing here is the daughter, the daughter, the daughter, number two of four is getting ready for her confirmation, right? So we see her getting ready. The house is all hectic. And then we see her at her confirmation. The movie's trying to provide verisimilitude with a camcorder shot. Like it was made in 1993. There's a moment here where like the grandpa is congratulating her.

He goes like, you did it, honey? And I'm like, she stood still. I mean, that's not. Yeah, she married Christ, though. For the second time. I guess. Yeah. Right of Christ.

Yeah, right, right. So, but now we're back at their house afterwards to celebrate her confirmation. And grandpa and grandma bought her for her confirmation gift. The haunted mirror from the cold open, right? Even though we just saw the mirror like five minutes prior, it's in that the, they have like a sheet over it and it's in the shape of a casket. And I was like, why did they buy her a casket? It's not. We're all going to die someday.

Oh, no, that's a good opening to a horror movie, right? Now that you're confirmed, we can... Yeah, and for anyone who thinks it's unrealistic that your grandparents would get you a haunted mirror... That's cracked. You did not have grandparents in the 80s, okay? I have so much weird shit that my grandparents gave me growing up that they found out a fucking garage deal

and they were like, what? You love boats? And I'm like, so it's a kayak ore? And they're like, covered in blood. In the room we're in, is a... I can't remember where it is, but there's a clown piggy bank that I had for my grandparents. You said you love owls when I don't know

Maybe it was your cousin I'll be dead in two years If you're lucky So now So but we should also point out here The dog Knows a fucking haunted mirror when he sees one Oh yeah

So throughout So okay So now they've lit her confirmation cake Which I guess is like a birthday cake You blow it out You make wishes and blow it out I've never heard of shit I didn't fucking get one.

And that's how you ended up a heathen like the rest of us. That's right. I'll make you a confirmation cake. It's a little late for that. I'll reconfirm you. Jesus, do you take a hate? Just Jesus like,

ah, I don't know, I'm, he's got a lot going on. She's looking a little, looking a little rough these things. I'll marry Jesus for some cake. I'll marry Jesus for some cake. So, but then she, you're calling back to stuff,

in the in-between times. But I was podcasting. No, you were. So, okay. So, then she goes to blow out her candles, but before she can, a ghost blows them out. And she's like, my sister blew out my fucking candles. And that's where I started thinking, oh, this poor polter guy. Yeah.

I've been doing this shit for years. Yeah. So what happens is she goes, oh, my sister blew out my candles. And they're like, no, she didn't. And then the overhead light falls on her. And I wrote my notes, Don't attack me with the overhead light. So did the ghost go, no, she's fucking getting it through the leg.

Yeah, right, yeah, clearly. This is their big moment. Yeah. Forgive me for trying to build dramatically, slam. Yeah. But that's where we get the crawl, right? The crawl comes up and gives us like the fucking, you know, this is the Warren's final case.

It ends their career, which is great. Because it's not a fucking career. It's a grift. It's a con. It's just like become a mechanic instead. Exactly. Get a real job. This ended Bernie Madoff's career.

Yeah, one little grift. To be clear, it ended their career because one news crew said yes to going in the house with them and nothing happened. And the news person fucking faced the camera like Geraldo and Al Capone's tomb and was like, I guess these motherfuckers are liars. Yeah. I love that it's Al Capone's tomb. It was a vault. Pretty sure it was a tomb, Alan. You remember when Al Capone ruled her.

Well. All right. Mamma Mia. Mama Mia. So, okay. So now we cut to the Warrens. Now this movie is going to,

for the first two acts, it's going to be there will be parallel tracks, right? We're going to tell the story of this haunted house, which is boring and nothing original happens in it. And we're going to tell the story of the Warren's just kind of pooling around, live in their life, nothing to do with any fucking thing, right? Mm-hmm. but we're going to spend fully an hour of this movie

with them not doing anything. God, I would have loved an editor to get a hold of this movie. Just get down to the smooth 45 minutes. Make it a nice, tight, 13-minute short film. Here's the thing. At 90 minutes, I wouldn't have been bored, right? Like, I would have been stupid and I would have had a lot of make fun of it,

but I wouldn't have been bored out of my goddamn mind the whole time. Yeah. So they're doing their lecture to, like, at a classroom or whatever. And at first, we don't see the classroom, but when we do, there's only like five people in it because nobody gives a shit. And one of them is Judy. Yeah, and one of them is their daughter.

Yeah, right. And three of them are from 2025. Yeah. They're just like teens from now. Yes, yeah, very clearly. No effort whatsoever to make them 80s. We're in skibbitty toilet merch. Yeah, right, right.

And they all make a bunch of Ghostbusters jokes at them, right? And that's very embarrassing. So we cut to them at a restaurant afterwards, wishing people would just take them. Seriously, damn it. Well, stop doing totally unserious bullshit.

Maybe somebody would. Yeah, it would be a mechanic. People take mechanics seriously. Yeah, I also have to point out that my theater was full of misbehaving children when I was watching this movie, which was a delight, by the way. Any escape from this movie,

I'm going to talk, the reason I'm setting it up now is because one of them delivered the single greatest comedic moment that's ever been delivered in the history of time. Oh, awesome. But it was kind of theme. I felt very 4D. theater because while the children were

misbehaving in their talk, the children in my theater were throwing popcorn at each other. And I was like, it's like, I'm in the movies. So we should put it out here, too. So while they're at the restaurant, they talk about how the Warrens quit taking new ghost jobs because ghosts don't exist, but also

because Ed had a heart attack. And he doesn't think he could do it anymore. Sure. I mean, it didn't slow me down, you fucking sissy, but. That's right. I fucking worked I worked during the heart attack I edited a fucking gam episode He took a whole week off after everyone

I did I did take a week off Coward But they will Over and over again in this movie They'll kind of try to set up Right This is the case that ended their career Oh Ed has a bad hard

You know they're gonna try to set up So hard that this is the case That killed Ed right Yeah I kept just thinking Die fucker already Yeah right exactly Which is what we were all rooting for

I want to watch him die on screen. And I love that their version of a heart attack was that you just have a heart that hurts sometimes after you've had one. Yes. So, okay, but then, this is so stupid, this is such in-expert filmmaking, right? So here's what has to happen, right?

While they're doing their order, Judy has to have a demonic ghost vision. But Judy's demonic ghost vision is way too fucking long for a food or. So this poor actor that plays Ed Warren has to do like a three-minute bit on his fucking food in the background. Hey, hey, Craig.

I'm sort of doing the sound balancing now and I'm wondering, should the sound of him improvising an Italian restaurant order be equal to or louder than the demon monster? Should we hear linguine clams and lasagna at the exact same volume as the rest of the movie? I missed all of this because I was completely distracted by the fact that Lorraine ordered the Linguinis.

As though there were an S at the end of it. And so she one time ordered Linguini and they brought her just one noodle. Linguini is the plural of Linguini. Yes. And insult to Katie's people. So okay. But Judy has her demon vision. So now, okay, we check back in at the haunted mirror house.

Mom's doing laundry and there's this creepy one of these dolls. that walks on its own and goes, mommy, mommy, and it's in the wrong room. Because that's the real shit that the Smurles, like, reported mostly. I mean, when they weren't reporting being fucked by pig demons, they were like, oh, things were in the room. We didn't expect them to be in.

And we've only got four kids and my parents living with me. You know, that was most of it, right? Well, we get that example because next to the demon is going to hold on to the corded phone cord? It gets caught on something. Very scary. What was driving me nuts is that the doll bit and the phone cord thing

have been done in, if not other horror movies, other conjuring movies. I was like, are they going to play a hide-and-clap next? Is that what's going to happen? That game that we all know and play all the time? I also I love the phone bit because like the ghost

like yanks the phone out while mom's talking on it and then it like slowly tugs it a little bit at a time like it's trying to play with a cat, you know? Like it's a dollar on a fishing lot on the street Sit on this chair, don't look under the pillow. Just sit down, sit down hard, no, to the other side. The ghost also has on shoe mirrors because it's also a pervert.

And upstairs, though, the kids are playing, they're having a tea party, but where's the creepy doll, right? Susie. So Daughter Fork goes out looking for Susie and she's in the other room. Daughter For. That's what Italians call him That's not on him Katie can confirm

I don't know which number she was But she can confirm That's how they It's a quattro I feel like Katie Every Irish listener right now It's just going yeah Katie How does it feel?

Fine Fine As if the world isn't racist enough To my people Don't worry Katie The Irish can't afford this podcast Not unless their English neighbors listening with the window open.

For the record, I am still a ghost and not partaking in this podcast. So the kid goes and she finds a little dog and it stands up and it turns into a creepy old lady. Now, I have to say, if you're not just scared of old women, this movie doesn't have a lot to offer in terms of scary, right? If you don't find old women and mirrors really creepy. But what if that old woman kind of looks like the Joker? Right, yes.

It has a weirdly big smile. Okay, look, I'm not trying to get into the fucking mythology of this movie. But Annabelle is somehow related to this, right? Yeah, 100%. Okay. So do you think when the other demon did the doll thing, Annabelle Demon was like, kind of doing my bed. Yes.

No, I didn't say anything. I just, no, I just kind of thought you were taking mirror and I was taking dolls. I worry the brand is getting. I just don't want to be that guy, but I'm kind of the doll guy around. And I don't want to point out that the WDWE production company already did a film called Oculus, which was based on a demonically possessed mirror. That was way better than this. Yeah.

But also, the thing I love about Annabelle is that the actual doll is a raggedy and. Yes. But they had to make it into this like middle-aged woman doll to make it scary. Ooh, the ravages of time. Yeah, no. It has to be Susan. is surrounded every time someone takes a photo over. Right, yeah.

So, okay, so now we cut to like that night, right, it's after dinner, and the older daughters, the daughter one and two are upstairs talking about how creepy the mirror is, right? One of them's wearing a Steelers shirt, but that is firmly Eagles country.

Obviously, it's way, way Philadelphia side. Yeah, right. Although in their defense, in that period of time, the Steelers were like the national team, like the Steelers were huge because they had won a number of Super Bowl? Yeah. Wow. They won them at the 70s. Yeah, but those shirts were, I had a Steeler shirt looking in Delaware. Oh, did you read? No, that's fair. That's fair. It would

lingered. Yeah. But yeah, so. Sorry to the Steelers. Yeah, but. No, but that's the way that humor works. So, yeah. Steelers explaining. So, but we listened to them antagonize each other for a little while, but they agree that the mirror is too creepy to have in their room. So they decided they're going to take it outside on trash tonight and throw it away. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Don't glean past the one daughter saying that babies are pervert.

I wish I had written that. Babies are priests. I wish I had written that. Babies are terrible. Babies are perverts. Every baby puts its head in a vagina. I was going to say, this baby snuck out of my vagina. Fugging on a titty. Like a real

pervert. Do you think there was a moment in the writer's room where someone was like reading that page and the head writer went, is babies or perverts a thing? What are you? And then like multiple people in that room must have been like,

yeah, no, I've heard babies are perverts. It's like, Penny earned. Babies are perverts. Eleanor Roosevelt, baby or perverts. So, okay, so then we watch the two of them

like struggling to get this mirror outside for the trash. And it's supposed to be like creepy, but it's just like the, it's like the moving a couch downstairs kind of a moment. It's the fucking pivot scene from friends. Yes, yes. So, okay, but they get it out the next morning, the families haven't, haven't breakfast.

And while they're inside doing that, the garbage truck shows up, it takes the mirror. Yeah. Which is the haunted mirror. To the most ominous score I've heard this year. Oh, yeah. And it's literally just two municipal workers loading it into a garbage truck. It's like, right. I wanted to put a tag on it.

It's like, oh, no, this is beyond the size limit. You have to get a permit to throw this or something like that, you know, one of those things. It's only the fourth Thursday of every day. Or they're in Jersey and it just gets left there for 17 weeks. So the guys feel like taking it. Also, I have to point this out. I know it's a little bit off topic, but I do have to point this out. They accidentally kept the Lorham Ipsum audio of the two parents here during the breakfast

shoot, right? They're just like cutting eggs or whatever the fuck. And the dad says, don't slap me with cheese. I'm down on my knees. Which again, is a totally fine thing to say when they're like, we're just getting B-roll guys, don't worry about it. But the fact that it's in the movie, I wanted the demon to pop out of a mirror and be like, sorry, what the fuck did you just say?

Oh, no. I'm the mirror. I was the mirror briefly in their bedroom and I know they do cheese play. Oh, I understand this. It's actually an Italian-American thing. You're just being racist. Wow.

So at the same time, so they're crushing the mirror outside in the garbage truck. And just as it crushes, Sister One, whose idea it was to throw the thing away, starts vomiting a pommical amount of blood.

Oh, it's so funny. It's so fun. And they don't react like emergency reaction right away. She spews a fire hose of blood across the kitchen table. And the first reaction is like, you ruined the pancake to still. Yes, right, right. Yeah, one of them just goes, oh, Dawn. Yeah, she fucking shows it.

This isn't the first time Dawn has done this. Did you destroy a haunted mirror again? And grandpa, keeping with all of his dialogue, just went. one point earlier he said you know how much I love your dips grandpa lines are so good so yeah but she pukes like fucking barrels worth all over the kitchen and what little gets into the sink they can see

has broken mirror all over it so okay then we get a quick shot of Ed at his cardiologist's office and he's not taking his heart health serious at all he's a badass. He can eat steaks and don't need no stinking dash diet. Yeah, I'll have a pedophile relationship with a 15 year old.

I don't have to listen to you, Doc. Right, right. So then we cut to Ed's birthday. We are going to spend the next 15 goddamn minutes at this fucking birthday. None of it will affect the story in any goddamn way. But it will infuriate me

that they have just chickens walking around inside their home. Yeah. Do they? That's filthy. I don't see the chickens outside the house. No, there's definitely a chicken just walking through the living room. It's fucking weird.

Can't do that. You can't have that. This was the only part of the movie that I found scary because it was giving me flashbacks of being at family parties as a child. Yeah. They walk everyone through their haunted museum at one point, which can I say, if I believed that I had a collection of haunted objects, I would not bring friends into that room to fucking see it. Right. Has

no one introduced them to the idea of a storage space? Well, they know about storerooms. I mean, we saw that in the beginning. Yeah. Yeah. We also have a rich mythology on our podcast that Ed is just always in there jerking off. Just looking at him. I'm just shirking it so hard.

To the Annabelle Dahl. Well, we know he likes him young, yeah. That's right. So, but then there's like, we meet Tony who is Judy's boyfriend. Now, Judy, the she's like 30 now, right? Like we fast forward

like the story is all the way to where she's in her early 20 or mid-20s, something like that. Yeah, sometime like that, yeah. Yeah, and so her boyfriend Tony is coming and he's sure nervous around her dad and that's because he's a real prick to him for no fucking reason.

Yeah. But this movie also makes everyone treat the warrants as though they're really important celebrities like their work is so important. Oh, everybody recognizes them on the street. Yeah. It's disgusting. Yeah, later when they go to the house

and there's the media scrum and the reporters all sell like, they're like, coach, coach, what are you going to do this? Yeah, yeah, yeah, right, Warrens. It's the Warrens. It's the Warrens. How do you fucking know? There's no internet. How do you know what they look like? Right.

Well, there's a chubby little dude, a woman who's dressed like a Victorian ghost. It's the Warren. That's fair. So, yeah, but we also learn here that Tony used to be a cop, but not anymore. And somebody even asked him, we meet this priest that used to be like,

like a sidekick of Ed and Lorraine's and he's like, well, why aren't you a priest anymore? He's like, that's more like Act 3 type stuff than Act 1 stuff, I think. So we're going to build suspense around it for no fucking reason. Also, I do want to point out that this priest is the same guy who played the priest in the last movie, but the timeline is now much forward. So they put him in fucking school play old age makeup. It's fabulous.

Flowered his hair. Yeah. Oh, gotcha. So there's also a mode he meets a different sidekick who I'm sure is from one of the other movies or whatever. And the guy goes, like, Tony goes, did you ever see an exorcism? And the sidekick guy goes, yeah, man, I saw all kinds of stuff that don't require anything supernatural to be visible or audible. Yeah, a lot of stuff like that. So meanwhile, while they're all party and Judy is in her old childhood bedroom having memories and demon visions. Casually looking at slides during

her dad's birthday party. Yeah. Uh-huh. But while she's doing that, suddenly she has creepy rocking chair visions. Well, more importantly, creepy Annabelle rocking chair visions, which I think is important because Annabelle is downstairs in the haunted room. Yeah. Right? I really wanted there to be like a house meeting where Annabelle's

on the couch and they're sitting there and they're like, so Annabel. We obviously don't want anyone to feel in trouble. When we agreed to this roommate situation we said that we were going to resolve things through these kinds of talks. But are you haunted visioning, Judy? I just want to state that I do not agree to for resolving to these talk. This was something you put upon me.

God damn it. You signed the community agreements. I was, I believe, conjured by the Manson family. If I'm not in my Lannabelle lore. Oh, Jesus fucking Christ. Really? Yeah, isn't it like, it's like a death cult. Okay.

That like makes her happen in the first movie. Oh, I don't remember that at all. Yeah. I don't think I ever watched any of them. You just got to watch all 10 conjuring movies and all three insidious movies and you'll get it, everybody. Oh, duh. I would rather eat mirror glass

and I'm pretty sure I've seen them all. A hundred percent. Same. Exactly, same. You and me. So, okay, so, but she sees the vision, starts doing her litany against bullshit poem and Tony comes in and sees her, right?

And he's like, hey, you know, what was that poem you were doing? Do you want to, like, establish that for later in the movie? And she's like, yeah, I would like to at least make sure everybody realizes that it involves a locket. He's like, yeah, impose a locket.

Sure. But as they're doing that, they start to kiss. Yeah. I feel like if your girlfriend is teaching you an anti-demon spell, you kind of focus up and aim for hand stuff later in the day, right? You don't really... No, wait. Dude, I'm too messent just thinking about it. I mean, some of us, you know. And that is my kink. But then mom comes and she comes in mid-kiss, of course, and she's like, hey, Tony adds in the garage and would like to include you in things. And he's like, oh, wow, I want to be included in things.

So he leads. Yeah, go to the garage with her dad and your massive boner. Yeah, right, right. So, and mom's like, hey, have you been psychicking in here? No, no, that's not ectoplasm, mom. Don't touch it. But what's so funny is it's, it's right after she caught them smooching and she does want to, like, sit her down for a serious talk. So I did think we were about to watch 30-year-old Judy get a birds in the bees talk.

Yeah, right. Yeah. Just make sure he watches his hands beforehand. Cheers, come on. But, yeah, she has to, like, your powers are growing stronger moment, you know? And I'm like, well, they don't exist, so they can only go and run direction, I guess.

They can't get weaker. Like it's the force. Yes. Yeah, yeah, right, right, yeah. So then, okay, so we follow Tony out to the garage where Ed is holding an impromptu ping pong tournament. So fucking intense. Oh, yeah.

Is this why the movie needed to be 100? years long so that we can watch every ping pong match of this tournament. Now, I want to, on behalf of Heath, I want to pitch about how bad these people are at fucking ping pong, right? I'm not very good at ping pong, but I know that if you're playing a good fucking game of ping pong, every shot doesn't go straight down the middle with no fucking spin at a casual goddamn speed. Yeah, and this is supposed to be the classic like proven yourself to dad by being good at ping pong scene. And yeah, again, because Heath isn't here, I will point out that If Heath would ever put in this position,

he is absolutely grand slamming someone's dad and wrecking his chance. Okay, so first of all, Heath would beat both of these guys on the same side of the table using his phone while they had panels. Okay, that's how bad they are. I feel confident saying that.

But he would cheat too, right? He'd be listing Lucy's kinks to try and throw him off his game. Well, he went down there with a bone or he could play ping pong with his ding-dong. Oh, there you go. So, okay, so, but Ed ultimately wins the very intense ping pong battle, but just barely because they both suck equally.

And again, so much of this movie is dedicated to their boring banal lives. I so want Annabelle to, like, pop her head in the room at several moments and be like, sorry, you guys mind, I'm a fucking demon. Like, you have a demon captured in a box in the background. In the other room. I remember Mesopotamia. Huh? no one's curious what hell is like

no one wants to have no one wants to do a quick Q&A so I imply the existence of salvation huh yes I'd have a few follow-ups no it's cool all right you're doing barbecue

well no you're having a ping pong you're burning the burgers by the way so so but Ed wins all the ping pong but he's a little bit worn out because his heart can't handle that much ping pong anymore this is what happens to Noah too by the way

if he does too much things he clutches his chest Yes. That must be so distressing for all of you. Yeah, yeah, no. Right, yeah, no, because that's where the heart hurts, yeah, in the chest. Having a heart attack turns you into Fred Sanford. Yeah, no, it does.

It does, yeah. I think the worst part for Noah is that me and Heath always chant, 33% race, 33% race every time he does it. I think that's really. That's not how the math would even work. Yeah, so. Yeah, he hates that chant. You're right. So, but everybody leaves except for Tony, Ed, and Lorraine.

And so Tony takes this opportunity. to show them the ring that he bought to hopefully get engaged with Judy. He just wants their permission. Now, I said it in that tortured weird way so that I could emphasize the fact that he sets the ring aside so that anybody who walks in

will know exactly what the conversation would be about. And Ed Warren is trying to be like, you know our family has interesting jobs, but it really just comes off as like, you do know that our family has like serious mental problems, You sure you want to procreate with this? Either that or, you know, there were swingers, right?

You're cool with this? I've had that conversation multiple times with people when they come into my home, Alan. It's difficult. It's difficult for the mailman. It's difficult for Amazon. Sir, please just sign for the package. Stop shaking that bowl of keys at me. I asked if you wanted to come inside and pee.

I didn't say where. Oh, God. Why is there plastic down on everything? to keep the P in Oh I see I see I got it That's smart That's smart

Sir could usually sign For this package None So but of course Judy comes in And she sees the ring And she's like Oh I'm gonna marry you

Yes I will marry you Ray They're gonna get married All right Well we just made it Through the longest Most Pointless scene In the history

Of horror movies So we've earned ourselves Another break But we'll be back in a minute with even more of The Conjuring Last Rites You just

tucked in between the sheets So smart Yeah, I can't believe I didn't think of that Okay, you guys ready to record Oh, dude, what does that smell? Eli, is that you? Oh, yeah, sorry, I got a little sweaty

during that last segment so I thought I'd throw in a little cologne. Nice, right? The opposite of nice. What? It's Northern Ice Crush by Goran. Yeah. Well, it smells like if dubious consent was a perfume.

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and now they're my go-toe deodorant. That's why I, no illusions, personally endorse Mando. I mean, anything but this. Please tell me there's a way Eli can buy some soon. Mando's starter pack is perfect for new customers. It comes with a solid stick deodorant, cream tube deodorant, two free products of your choice, like mini body wash and deodorant wipes and free shipping. As a special offer for our listeners, new customers get 20% off sitewide with our exclusive code. Use the code awful at shopmando.com for 20% off sitewide plus free shipping. S-H-O-M-A-N-D-O.com. Please support our show and tell them we sent you. Mandoz got you covered with deodorant plus sweat control. Say goodbye to sweat stains and hello to long

lasting freshness. All right, Noah, thanks. You sure you guys don't like the smell of this stuff? You smell like a sex-trafficked passport. Like the passport was sex trafficked or the person with the passport? Both. Got it. Demon, I am here to drive you out of this house. Never, holy man. You stay back from my daddy.

Oh. Wait, sorry, can your kids see me? Yes, my daughter has the gift. Hey, and you brought her to a haunted house? That's kind of fucked up, man. Sorry, they're messed up. Well, she is strong. Yeah, you'll see.

Right. Okay. You think that, sorry, I'm just kind of off my groove. Take your time. No, honestly, it's, I don't want to be that guy, but this is kind of an adult workplace, and I'm not, like, comfortable doing my job with your kid here. Oh, wow. Wow, so parents can't be exorcists now, is what you're saying?

That's against the law. No, no, look, I'd find you guys are parents. It's just, I'm a giant pig on his hind legs with cocks for arms, and it feels inappropriate to just be doing this around a kid. What's a cock? See? You see what I'm talking about? Fine.

Honey, why don't you wait in the car while we banish the demon? Thank you. I'm sorry for the record. I'm sorry. Gotta get you when I grow up. I bet you will, kid. I bet you will. She seems really sweet.

Honestly, she's great. Oh, enjoy it while you can. Time is a thief. Yeah, that's what they say. It's true. I mean, it's really, it's really true. You want to get back into it? Oh, yeah, yeah, I'm good.

Okay, cool. Back foul, demon. Cog hands. I can't believe you wrote me saying, what's a cock? And we're back for more of this shit. We're going to rejoin the action at the haunted house where the family's getting pretty pissed at dad

for not fucking calling the Ghostbusters or something, right? He says, well, you know, I've reported it to the church. They put me on the fucking haunted house waiting list and that's where we are with this. So in the lore of the warrants, they're better than the church. Better than God himself, yes. I think so.

Yeah. Yeah, well, definitely in this movie, which brings up a lot of questions about like whose powers are more power. Like, is God in charge? Because I feel like Catholic priests would do well. But as we're going to learn the rest of the movie, Catholic priest is fucking useless. Specifically, crucifix is fucking useless.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I feel like Jesus turns to his dad up in heaven and it's like, hmm, dad. Look, there is a common theme in exorcism movies that Jesus is always quite the sissy. Right? Like, always there will be a priest that will pull out a crucifix and go, ah, but I've got Jesus. And then it'll burn his hand enough to throw it away or it'll catch on.

fire or something. That's a common theme in these things and they really lean into it for this one. Okay. Okay. There's also, there's a moment here. I love that I'm lecturing you at what happens to be fucking exorcism. No, no, I appreciate. But so there's also a moment here where like daughter one

is mad at dad because he doesn't believe her. He hasn't like experienced the haunting himself. So he thinks that maybe they're all full of shit. But I'm like, he watched you vomit 23 gallons of blood and glass. I mean, like, what is he need to see?

I saw the other child be struck down by an overhead light. Right? Yeah. Like, these things have happened. Yeah, but if it doesn't happen to Jack, Jack don't know it. I guess. I guess. So that's where they are.

The family's going crazy over here. Then the fucking cinematographer just wanders out on the porch to see if there's anything creepy out there. He's like, wind chimes, guys, pinwheel, fuck. I don't know. It's a boring movie. I've been inside with this Italian family with my camera for four minutes now I think I need a little quiet on the porch

Annabelle's out there smoking they yell it's like they're yelling right next to each other all of the time Why do they make so much food It's crazy Do they not know how many members of their own family They have?

At this one I just have a note that's Katie has some strong opinions on wind chimes. I do. Oh, you do? I think it's the most obnoxious thing to do to your neighbors. It's like standing outside someone's home, tunelessly playing a xylophone all night long. Right.

No, that's exactly, exactly. Because like, what are the odds that the goddamn wind is going to make a song worth listening to, right? Very slim. I'm with you, man. I'm fucking with you. I want you to know that that has convinced me

to purchase multiple wind chimes. I love that idea. I love the idea that I can just be like, it's someone's ear That's what it is It is though That's it Yeah

So okay And then there's a moment Where like The door mysteriously opens And the glass mysteriously falls off the table And I wrote Man if these guys had cats

They would never notice This polterguise Or maybe my house is haunted And I'm just dumb So And then we have this moment Where like it's night And everything's dark and creepy

And dad gets The known phenomenon of sleep paralysis. Yeah. Right. Now, that's what the guy reported. He reported feeling like he was paralyzed on the bed.

The movie has him floating over top of the bed because they're like, you know, what movie has ever done that that we've referenced in this film? Totally original thing. Was this also a subtle nod to the old lady rape? Because at one point we see the old lady ghost gets on top of him

while he's floating. Oh, you're right. This is the succubes, yeah. This was an, If you know, you know, situation. I guess. Smurals turned to each other in the theater. That's when our dad got raped.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Pass the popcorn. We're all sharing one bucket because we're poor. Oh, God. So, okay, so, but while he's up there getting raped by an old lady, daughter, too, is downstairs watching video of her confirmation. Or as I wrote it in my notes, she's watching Game Tape of the Demon.

Yes. Right, yeah. Now, there's a moment. Okay, so when she watches through, you can see like a single frame in the video, you can see the monster blowing out her candles. Yeah. So then we get this moment

where she's got to try to like stop the VHS tape at exactly that frame. You could do that for 137 fucking years and it would never, ever, God damn work. Because if you ever did actually get that single frame, the fucking thing would be moving and there'd be static everywhere and you wouldn't be able to see a fucking thing

That's just not how VHS tapes worked at all. I'm sorry my 80s nerd needed to chime in on that. More importantly, do you know how many tries it takes her in the movie? Because I counted. A lot. It's like four. It's six. It takes for six tries.

Make cuts to your movie, please. Anything. Anything. Okay. And also, speaking of inaccuracies, now she's wearing a pitch shirt, which is my alma mater. Go Panthers. But again, geographically inaccurate, she would be a Penn State fan. Yep, that's fair.

It makes me really mad. It's just such a simple thing. Look at a map of Pennsylvania. It's absolutely, it was just an idiot in costume and going, no, Pennsylvania, right? Yeah. They heard Pitts did, and they were like, Pittsburg. Oh, you're right.

You're right. So, but just then, just as she finally finds the VHS frame that has this stupid looking ghost, isn't it just like, oh, it looked like the mask? It looked like the mask from it. Yeah, it's the old lady face. Oh, was that what it was? It was hard to, because it was fucking VHS tape.

You couldn't goddamn see it. But just then, she's attacked by an axe wielding ghost redneck. Okay, now can I say the comedic brilliance of the child in the theater? So they're being bad, they're yelling, they're yelling, boo at each other. At this point a grown-up has yelled at them, and I was like, don't yell at them. They're having fun and enjoying their youth, and we're adults watching the conjuring less rights. We deserve this.

But the pop scare that happens here, right? She sees it, and then she turns and there's the axe-wielding demon, and there's this pause. And during that pause, one of the bad children in my theater went, Chicken Jockey! Which is the funniest thing that's ever happened. Like, young man, I don't know if you're out there, but if you ever... I laughed so hard, so long, my fear got mad at me.

All the children turned around to watch the fat man who became floorbound at how hard I was laughing at the chicken jockey. joke that child man. I genuinely don't know what happened for the rest of this scene. Just quickly, I have to tell my favorite in theater in Philadelphia, somebody talking back to the screen story,

which is during Lord of the Rings the first one, the fellowship, Sam falls off the boat, and somebody goes, crazy Sam. Somebody left a hand. All right, well, now I've got to tell mine first Avengers movie. I'm watching it with my wife in the theater. And when, at

the very end, when Iron Man pushes the bomb out the portal and he starts fallen back and he's unconscious. A little kid in front of him, he goes, who's going to catch him? I thought that was fucking great. That was fucking great. Cool guy.

Yeah, he was pretty worried. All right. So, but yeah, so when we last left the movie, daughter two was being attacked by an accent wielding ghost redneck. And then mom comes downstairs and just catches her cowering and the ghost disappears because the ghost's like, well, I can't do it if there's two of you watching.

Right. And I guess dad is just fine. He's fine. Yeah. Okay. So, okay. But now we get that, like, they talk to the media and the haunted house is a media circus. Now, I want to point out, this family did get publicity for their bullshit claims. They were interviewed on Larry King Live for their bullshit claims back when cable news was still trying to figure out what to do with all them fucking hours. But there weren't fucking round-the-clock news crews camped outside of their house at any fucking point. No. Come on. Of course they were. It's in the movie.

At one point, Mama Smurl, we get her, like, making their argument. And this is the argument that, like, people who believe in this shit used to defend it. They're like, look, eight people live in the house. What are the odds that eight entire people with the same profit motive could be a combination of gullible, lying, or mistaken? Right? That's the whole big argument. She turns to the camera. She says, eight people are not crazy.

And I wrote in my notes, so many more people than eight are crazy. So many. Have you been to Utah? And it's hereditary a lot of the times. Yeah, it does run in lines. Not to point out the obvious, but organized religion. There's a lot of crazy people out there. That's why we organized it is because there was more than eight people.

Guys, we got to get a building to do this once. We are having trouble. So then we get this long, boring, predictable, and entirely pointless scene of Judy trying on wedding dresses. I have to say, I did like the demon under her dress looking at her butt and laugh. Right? It gave me my favorite close caption,

which was ethereal chuckling. Two words that have never gone together in the history of humanity. Amazing. Okay, because this movie will never be clear who the demon is or what the demon is or why or where the demon is,

but it does mean that at some point part of this demon from hell's plan was like, okay, and then and then I'm going to get under-addressed in Bider Lake. Yeah, right. So, okay, here's the thing. that one's good.

There's this wrong fucking moment where, like, you know, she thinks it's the dress fitter and she's up under her dress and there's this long moment where the thing's pulling away, the dress is pulling away and eventually the demon is revealed. But like, even if it was the dress fitter lady, if she was that deep into your dress, there's something wrong. Right? Like, that would still be pretty fucking creepy.

This is why you've always got to hold in a little warning fart. Yeah. In case you need to get somebody out of learning your dress. The old vulture defense. But then, like, the demon attacks or while she's alone in the room full of mirrors and she's cowering and everything. And like, I know that this is just some shit

they made up for the movie, but there's like a super sad version of this where Judy actually is just, you know, schizophrenic or whatever, she just has a mental illness or whatever. And the Warrens are like, oh, it'd be great for our scam, guys. She's demons.

Jesus Christ. Yeah. They don't love her. No, they don't. Well, see, what I loved about this was the idea that they just are trying to get Judy in on the family business. And so, like, they're, you know, they're going to a fitting because, look, I know magicians who do this, right? Who, like, you go out to dinner with magicians and the waiter comes over and it goes, I can tell that you're a deeply insightful person. And you have to be like, stop it, Kevin.

Stop it. Yeah. Leave this TGI Friday's Wictress alone. So that's what I'm picturing, like, them going to the way. And, like, Lorraine taking Julia's hide and being like, okay, so when she comes back in the room, be like, oh my God, a demon crowned out of my dress. And they'll tell their friends.

Yeah. And then I'll put our business card just sort of like on the desk. Yeah, right. Yeah, exactly. If anything spooky ever happens. I know I can't, but I want to grind the podcast to a halt and just dive into I go out to dinner with magicians. Oh, yeah.

Did you not know that I am and was a professional magician for eight years? did not know that. Just when you thought I couldn't get cooler, Alan. I know you all didn't hear Katie just now, but I assume it was because of the giant sploosh she was trying to cover up.

I hate magicians. Of course you do. You're a human with dignity. Oh, that's taking it a bit far. You know my man, Eli, we'll see Magnet, boss. Let me tell you some of him. Don't worry.

He knows hundreds of cards. Oh, he's a bit of a historian of the art of magic, actually. It's even more than that. It's even sexier than you think. It's just not something a friend of mine has ever said before, so I'm very excited to know that you were in the biz. Yeah, no, just in case you were ever worried about gaining accidental respect for me, the amount of time I have spent slowly pushing scarves into my sleeves is not zero.

I just got interviewed for an emo band I was in 30 years ago and cried during the interview. so yeah, we're on equal funding, all right? Everything's fine. At least you got to be in a band. All right, so when we last left a movie, Judy was having a demon thing, and she does, they do like the false, I don't know, there's got to be a name for this trope

where she thinks she's woken up from the nightmare, but she hasn't and she has to go through it again. Oh, dream within a dream. Yeah, okay, so the dream within a dream thing happens here where she, like, she thinks, oh, the demon left her, but then the mirror her tries to choke, real her, and then Lorraine and the dress fitter lady

come in and nothing, everything disappears and there's no evidence that anything happens. She was by herself. Almost like it didn't happen. Yeah, so nothing happened. And now we're back at the haunted house and granny is being carted off in an ambulance. Shot on the

fucking stairs. Yes, well yeah, okay, yeah, we're introducing the real monster of the movie, the stairs, right, at this point. But what really fucking happened here is that this house where these people had claimed to be haunted at some point, the old woman that they had sleeping upstairs apparently

slipped down the fucking stairs and fell and everybody's like, oh, we can make so much more money off of this now, guys, right? Because the demon did it, we'd say that the demon knocked her down the fucking stairs. So that if you're wondering how much sympathy you should have for the people we've been making fun of this whole time. That's where we're at now. I have a lot

of sympathy for a pig demon rape victim. I don't know about you. That's why she hates magicians. Believe victims. Kremma and her boons farm problem taken her. So but the sidekick priest that was at the party earlier, he's showing up at the house

because he knows that the church officially won't do anything for him. They don't, you know, the Catholic church doesn't want to get involved in anything superstitious or anything. So, you know, he keep those haunted houses at arm's length. So he's going to go help him, right?

So this is where we learned that granny was pushed down the stairs by the goat. And then he explains, he's like, I'm not with your church. I'm actually a rogue priest. And I'm going to walk through with my, but I do have holy water. This is real holy water. And I'm going to do the whole spirit of sancty thing that, you know, that we do to get rid of the demons. So he's, but apparently the ghost is too strong to take care of with nothing but the power of the almighty God of the universe.

Because when he sprinkles his holy water, it like sublimates when it's in the basement, right? On what does it sublimate? The stairs. Oh, fuck, it's the stairs. Yeah. The truly evil stairs. But it is also under her portrait of John Wayne. I thought maybe that had something to do with it.

Oh, John Wayne was the monster the whole time. Yeah, okay. Yeah. I buy it. I don't know if you've read that interview and Playboy, but you beat me to it. You beat me to it. Damn it. So, yeah.

But DePriest has like an encounter with their team and then just fucks right off and leaves the lady there. He's like, I've got to go. I've got to go. I'll bring other people later. It's probably or something. So he leaves her. And then we get him, he like runs to a nearby church to get some help from Bishop McKenna. Right. But unfortunately, Bishop McKenna's secretary gives him the runaround for a bit. Until she disappeared? She's a demon. She's a demon. She's a demon, right? And why would you ever pick up someone else's phone? Okay. Right. Right. So she Batman's away, right? She's like, well, you'll have to wait here. So he sits there and then she, Batman's away. He's like, where did you go? And then the phone rings. And I'm with you.

Katie, I would sit in somebody else's office for 137 fucking years with a ringing phone and I would never answer it. It's not my fucking phone. It's not my phone. It's a call is probably not for me. It's not for me. I would totally answer someone's phone. You would. And then I would tell a weird lie about the person who they were calling. I'd be like, do you know his dad invented tooth? Why? I think you'd ask him about it sometime. Anyways, I'm his secretary. We're sleeping together. Bye. So then the door's like he's all alone And the phone call is from Judy

It's Judy calling him But it's like she's mysterious and crackly or whatever But then the line cuts and the doors mysteriously close around him Oh we also we didn't mention this earlier Like while he's sitting there There's a guy who's like buffing the floors And we see the cord to the floor buffing thing Like getting pulled taught

And we're supposed to think Oh our demon does love to pull cord taught, right? Because he did that with the phone earlier, I guess. I don't know. That's supposed to be a hint that our demon is around. So, but then the priest walks out

and hangs himself with the floor waxer cord. How in the fucking world that his body just not dropped to the floor with the floor waxer following a camera? They're not that heavy. What was the floor waxer attached to? Yeah, right, right. Do you think the guy that was waxing the floor

is just holding it down with Jesus? Christ, what the fuck? Another one? All right, so, but then we got to go back to Tony and fucking Ed bonding over motorcycles because, you know, Ed has to learn that he is good enough for his daughter and part 10 to lead to part 10. So this is where Ed's like, you know, hey, I think Tony, it's about time I tell you all about the family business.

And so he takes him on like on a tour of the demon haunted basement. Yeah. His jerk off room. Yeah. Right. Which again, this would be a meaningful scene if we hadn't just watched him load everybody who came into the barbecue into this room. Right. Like someone had been like, hey, Ed, can we see your haunted stuff?

And he'd be like, no, you can't. This would have meaning. But we know that this is what he shows people instead of his fucking vacation slide. Yeah. But don't touch anything in here because I've jacked on most of it. Yeah, it'll stick to you. It'll stick to you. It's not ectoplasm.

It's covered in little ed's. By the way, if you can find it, Steve Novella's account of Ed Warns showing him this basement is fucking hilarious. If you can ever find him talking about that. Can I say it's a little mean-spirited of Steve? Because Ed's doing a bit and Steve is like, no. Yeah.

Right, exactly. And so, but Tony goes, so hey, this all this haunted stuff, why would you not just destroy it? yet. And he's like, well, you can't sell tickets to destroy shit. I mean, I mean, because actually the demons get out, so it's better to keep it. Matt Rife isn't eventually

going to buy destroyed shit. Oh, that's right. That's right. I forgot that he bought their shit, right? He said. Yep. Yeah. Comedian Matt Rife. Very strong jaw. Very not funny. Good to know. And so and this is the part where like, like,

Ed confides him about all of the shit that happened in the cold open. And he's Like, you know, Judy was dead when she was born. And then she was like miracle back to life. So I really don't like the thought of you fucking her or whatever. I don't know what the fuck point he's trying to make. Right. No.

He also says they've done a thousand cases. Fuck you. You have not. Well, they eventually said 10,000. I think the actual number, yeah. I think the actual number that they say they did is 10,000. Yeah. So after the book came out and credit to the fucking Warren's, sisters from another mistress,

the Warren's just started lying about participating in cases openly. That's every day for over 27 years. Well, here's the thing. They showed up to a bunch of prominent ones. Like if they read about one in the news, they'd show up and be like,

hey, we're here to help. And everyone would be like, go away, Warren. Fuck. But then later in life, they would just be like, I was there at Iwojima. And it's fucking rude.

I invented tooth whitening. Let me tell you about when I walked on to go to goal. Gotha. So this is what was going on down. I remember Mesopotamia. I climbed Mount Everest

at the top, demon. So but then at this point like mom and Judy come in to rescue Ed from the scene, right, to tell him about

the priest being dead. Yeah. So we cut to Father Gordon's funeral. Apparently Lorraine is doing the eulogy, which is, I'm just approximating here,

he wasn't the suicide type. Weird, probably a ghost demon or some shit. Yeah. Right? At this point, I'm pretty sure that Vera Farmedia, is that hate being Lorraine Warren.

She is so fucking miserable and giving zero fucks. Yes. Yeah, Father Gordon, I guess, I don't know, he died or something. Anyway, we got to go back to Pittston, I guess. She's like, God damn it, I was in up in the fucking air. The problem with Vera Farmingia is she is such a brilliant, like such a talented actor. love her work so much, and she got sucked into horror movies because of the orphan, right?

Like, she was in the orphan where she gives an incredible performance, and since then they've just been like, you spooky lady, you do spooky, you do the nun and the nun too. Oh, that's right. And four seasons of Bates Motel, the prequel to Psycho. A little less respect for her, do a quick goog on her heavy metal band that she sings for in opposite direction my friend i am sorry you've made me love her even more like there are people who star in the movies that we look at where i would feel genuinely no remorse if they were like your review hurt my feeling i would lick the souls of vera farmedia's shoes if she was upset by

me mispronouncing how her name also born like 10 minutes from where i live in new jersey oh they all look basically family right katy They are all from New Jersey. He's just been holding this inside for how many of them? No, he never. He never. No, about your people. Yeah.

It's okay. I actually didn't know you were Italian until I made the joke. I'm just glad Atlanta. You could have been like I'm from Estonia. All right. So, but as they're walking away from the coffin, Judy senses that something's wrong. So she, like, fucking does the Vulcan mind meld with the coffin or whatever.

And then on the way out, she's like, she stops this other bishop. And she goes, hey, where was Father Gordon before he died? And he was like, yeah, he was in Pennsylvania for some reason. We just don't know why. So it sounds like this movie's about to coalesce into a fucking plot at the end of Act 2. So let me give Act 3 the Hard Self. Will the Warrens bring along a video camera to document any of the stuff that happens in the finale of this film? Would that video footage easily prove their worldview and usher in a new age of global understanding?

Why wouldn't they do that especially since we've established that the Smurl family had a fucking camcorder at the haunted house? Find out the answers to these questions are exactly what you thought they'd be when we returned for thee, but trust us it was pretty supernatural conclusion of The Conjuring. Last rights. And then she was like, what's in the house? Oh, that was good, but can you do, like, even a smidge faster? Can you drill down on a smidge? Yeah, please.

Hey, hey, guys. What's you doing? Oh, hey, Noah. I'm so busy these days. I'm doing pretty much everything at 1.5 speed, so I'm teaching Alan and Katie how to match me. Match your speed? Exactly.

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Not with Factor. Factor has more variety and more meals. Choose from a wider selection of weekly meal options, including premium seafood choices like salmon and shrimp at no extra cost. No extra cost? That's awesome. But have you actually tried it? I sure have. I love how Factor lets me keep my heart-healthy diet with meals that are ready to heat and eat in just two minutes. All right, Noah. I'm sold. But where do I sign up?

Eat smart at FactorMeals.com slash awful 50 off and use the code awful 50 off to get 50% off your first box plus free breakfast for one year. That's code awful 50 off at FactorMeals.com for 50% off your first box plus free breakfast for one year. Get delicious ready to eat meals delivered with Factor. Offer only valid for new Factor customers with code and qualified. auto-renewing subscription purchase. All right, Noah, thanks. I guess I'm back to talking normal then. What about slow motion?

I think we can just stick with regular, Helen. You have a closed mind and heart, Eli Bosnick. I don't. He's right, though, you too. Yeah. I don't. Wow, thank you for showing me your haunted museum, Mr. Warren. Well, it's important you know what you're walking into with this family.

Well, I understand. sir, but I just love your daughter. I'm going to kill you guys. Oh, holy cow, what was that? That's Annabel. She's a demon-filled doll. It's honestly best to ignore her. Oh, okay. Anyways, there's

actually a reason that I asked to speak to you in private, sir. You guys want to know who's in hell right now? Annabelle, not now. I'm sorry. Right, right. Well, I'd like permission to marry your daughter. Big step.

That's a big... Annabelle! What? I'm in the room. I can't be in the room in the conversation? No, you can't be in the room. No, then fucking talk in the kitchen then. The power of Christ compels you. Oh my God, fine. Listen, Tony, we think you're a swell fellow, and we know our daughter likes you a whole bunch. We just don't know if she's ready. Oh, I know it's soon, sir, but when you know, you just know, and gosh darn it, I know, I meant to spend my life with your daughter. Well, Tony, if that's how you feel, damn it, I'm not going to stand in the way of

young love. Well, thanks, Mr. Warren. I met God once. You guys want to know what God is like? The power of Christ. Power of Christ compels me. Yeah, yeah, fine. And we're back for still more of this shit.

And we're going to rejoin the action at the Warren's house. And Lorraine is washing dishes when suddenly, you know, the garbage disposal gets stuck. And what do you do when the garbage disposal gets stuck? You stick your fucking hand in there to the owl. every time. Kitty and I actually have an agreement that we will not stick our hands in the dish I have not kept up my end of that bargain.

Anytime it's stuck, I'm like, let me just get my hand in there. Like I'm birthing a cow. I'm not flipping the switch, you know? I'm going to find out what's in there. I wrote my notes, is this the fake psychic version of making your daughter's wedding

all about you, right? Because it's like her engagement party or whatever and she walks into the room. Yeah, so the sink just filled with demon blood. Oh, honey, am I ruining? your special thing. Well, yeah, so she reaches around in the opaque water in the drain

there for a while and she finds a locket which is part of the litany against bullshit poem that they've been trying to force into the movie here and there. And then the sink is full of blood. She had pulled a pocket out as well. Oh, fuck, it's the whole poem. God damn it's the whole poem.

It's too long. Eli said it was too long. It's just Eli pulling a out of a sleeve. She just pulls scarf after scarf after scarf after scarf out of the D-line. It's a potty magician. Is there a 14-year-old at the end of this scarf?

Really wish you weren't going to rule a threes that one, man. But mom can sense now that there's something wrong with Judy. So dad, like, comforts her. And then Tony shows up to tell him that something's wrong with Judy. So, okay, so now, but now the Warrens go to Pennsylvania, right, to interact with the plot for the first fucking time

because they know that Judy's there somehow, right? Or I guess that's where she told Tony that she was going. But why do they have to go to CGI Pennsylvania? Because, hey, that was the most perfect establishing shot for Pennsylvania ever, right? It was just like a bridge and pollution. That was, yeah, no, nailed it. Yeah, you got us. Can we get Three Mile Island in this?

shot. Can we get a shot of Joe Pah turning the other way from a locker room door? So then, but they show up at that haunted house media circus and everybody recognizes the real life, ghost busters. Coach Warren, Coach Warren, Coach Warren, what are you going to do this season, Coach Warren? Yep, yep. They get to the door, they knock on the door and the Mr. Smurrell answers and he's like, oh, wow, the Warren's the most famous ghost hunting couple in all of America, you know. basically invented the whole fucking investigate. You know, you know. This isn't in the crawl.

So, and so they go in, they go inside past all the reporters. And Lorraine immediately gets the monster whisper vision, right? Like, she'd hear the demons all bustling and hustling around her. But of course, Judy's already there. They have the whole, like, Judy, you're not ready for this. We need to go. We can't help this family in their hour of need. We've retired from this work.

You know, they have to have that moment. What is Ed's role? in all of this. It seems like Lorraine does all the heavy lifting. He's a driver. He literally does the heavy lifting. When the mirror is so it's time to move the mirror. Oh, true.

He does the heavy lifting. He's the brawn. So what's funny is that Ed obviously thought up the scam. And you look at the real history of the Warren's. Ed was a self-taught exorcist as opposed to, you know, the official state-sponsored program. Right. He didn't go through the local community college to get a certificate, right? But then a couple scams in, Lorraine.

was like, I'm a little psychic. And he was like, well, you're going to have to do a whole thing. She was like, no, I'm just a little psychic. And so that's why she gets the most, it's obvious they're like, they're a double act. And she wasn't getting enough attention. It's the fucking best. Yes, right. So she kept giving herself new magic powers until she was equal to his bullshit.

Yeah. I see. So, yeah. So, but Judy convinces them that like, you know, they need to help because her parents are undeniable saints in every way. That 15 year old thing. that's just a rumor. Normal.

Yeah. I wrote in my notes, come on, help them. No one needs to pee and this movie is way too fucking long. So they go get

the demon fighting kit that they keep in the car. They come back in. There's this moment where the smurls are like, oh, we sure do regret telling the press about it.

We wish we hadn't gotten all this attention that we were able to monetize later. Sure don't want to do that. And then, so like Lorraine and Ed have to interview

them. And since that would be fucking boring, we go check in on Judy and Tony, where Judy's explaining that she, like, had a vision of Father Gordon hanging himself with a fucking floor waxer. And I'm just thinking Tony cut and run, baby, you can still get out of this. Right? You're out there. You're out there. You're a good looking kid. Yeah. You don't need this. You're not married. Get out of there. Oh, there's also this great fucking moment. Okay. I love this so much because they come back to it twice. We see the media circus outside packing up for the night

because, of course, none of the shit that happened happened, right? Like, none of the shit in this movie ever fucking happened. So they have to explain why the news media outside wouldn't have gotten shots of this. So we have to imagine that there's these people that are like hacked around this haunted

house waiting for it to do something haunted that leave every night when it gets dark. Well, the streets are Piston. Ghosts are probably union. I think we're safe to... These are Pennsylvania ghosts. This is a steel town. So, okay.

So now Lorraine is wandering around the house looking for creepy jump scareworthy shit. Touching lamps. Yeah, right. Touching lamps. Open in music boxes, that kind of stuff. Ed is making pancakes for the family, Eli. He plays a very important role.

Very important. Very important. very real raw i didn't get overshadowed by my wife very important demonology skills i could explain to this ex-cop that fear is like food for demons like these pam cakes that i'm making right yeah right yeah exactly so now of course and this and this allows us to have a scene where tony the soon-to-be son-in-law is learn in the ropes

so that he can lead the movie in part 10 right so now he has to explain his ex-cop backstory. Why he isn't a cop. No, I'm going to give you the short version and then the long version. I know that's a weird way to do it. But the short version is it was really scary being a cop and he didn't like that. But here's the long version. One time they were responding to a domestic abuse call and a guy opened the door and fired at him with a shotgun, but the shotgun misfired. And that's the only reason he survived. Okay. I, Heath is not here, but I feel I need to step into his shoes here. Okay. Of making up something insane and just believing it

for the rest of the movie. I was sure that Tony was dead and actually a ghost. Oh, that would have been so good. Oh. Because his partner says, you're dead. Your partner says you're dead to him.

Yeah, he's a ghost. Yeah. You're accidentally writing such a better movie. Oh, that would have been so much better, yeah. Than the Conjuring 10. But yeah, but he's decided that he didn't want to be a cop anymore after he almost got shot in the face. and the movie's like, well, yeah, no, I get it.

And then that scene ends. Meanwhile, Judy's off taking pictures of random shit. Right? And Lorraine finds her they have like a heart to heart about her psychic powers. I wrote in my notes, I really miss one and a half time speed, right? Can't do that in the theaters. You know what else you can't do in the theaters is you can't scroll over the bottom to see how much of it is credits. So you don't know how much actual is movie that you have to watch.

Watch. Okay. So, but mom and Judy, while they're down, they're having their heart to heart, they feel demon whisper stuff going on upstairs. And Lorraine's like, you're not ready for this. I'll go and check it out. I have a solo scene coming up. So she goes upstairs. And while she's upstairs, we have this, like, I guess this is like an Annabelle callback moment, right? Because the creepy mommy mommy doll comes in. But the little girls, it's like just doing normal doll shit. And the little girl goes, do you like dolls? And she goes, no. No, no, I don't. Callback. You guys remember eight movies ago when you liked it? It was crampaned by cram. But you watched it. You guys remember when my parents used to abandon me for dolls? You remember that? Right, right.

It's okay. So Lorraine is upstairs checking for jump scares. There's like a monster shadow behind her. And then there's a monster creek behind her. And then I think she's in the basement. I don't, like maybe it was the attic and I was not seeing it right because the movie was so fucking dark, but it did seem, I don't know, okay.

She does hear a whisper of a man's voice saying, I know what you did, dirty girl, you filthy girl. And I thought, oh, don't threaten me with a good time. But when I whisper that in the movie theater, I'm not allowed to see Zootopia 2 anymore. You're going to put yourself on a registry. Oh, like, he's not on that, right? I'm not saying.

So sweet. You just ask his neighbors. Maybe you heard me when I said magician, Alan. Cut your box and half, wouldn't you say, sir? When they sign you up for Megan's list, they give you a fake thumb. That's how it works. Oh, no. That's not a thumb.

Oh, no. But it is fake. All right, so Lorraine gets back from her creepy whispers and everything, and she gives Ed and the family a debriefing, right? She tells them that there are three spirits. Now, they didn't live in this house, but they lived on this land. There was a husband, and he axed his wife and his wife's mom. And then, I guess, turned the axe on himself.

He's not allowed acts suicides in this world. Bud Dwyering with an axe, yeah. It takes a couple of shots, yeah. Hey, Bud Dwyer, very Pennsylvania specific. I was going to say, good Pennsylvania guy. Thank you. Okay, to be, to be fair, I just reference Bud Dwyer every 47 seconds, which if our listeners don't know about it, it is only from the grace of no illusions.

So, yeah, this is the week that it makes sense. One of my favorite things that I found on the internet is a photo of Bud Dwyer with a trombone in his mouth rather than a gun and says, if you don't know who this is, you don't like SCA. Yes. Fantastic. Okay, but to make it really weird, right? So look, that's what Lorraine Warren said. She was like, there's three demons,

but they're trying to tie the fucking conjuring podcastaverse together. And they have been sort of hinting throughout this and the insidious movies and especially an insidious red door, which I think me and Alan can agree is some of their most cohesive work to the overall lore of the series. The whole thing is that like there's been this one demon and the Lorraine and the Warrens are fighting it and why are they fighting it and what the deal is

and they kind of hint at it in this movie but like what that means for this movie is she goes there's a guy who kills his wife and killed his mother-in-law and then he turned the axe on himself but they're just a cover for the demon. The puppeteer yes this is a real fuck it you lost me moment for me

well right and it even ends in this weird like so she's like but there's something else behind it all another entity and I'm like well why didn't you say four ghosts then yeah right Because it's not a ghost, it's a demon. It's all like, well, yeah, or three ghosts and a demon then. Are the ghosts just coincidental?

Yeah. Right. It's a good thing that the, because like, what does the mirror have to do with anything that? Yeah, the ghosts don't have anything to do with the mirror. Right. So like the mirror happened to, like, it's like, oh good, a place with ghosts, finally. This is like a sloppy HR reorg, right?

Where they're all just sitting there on a Zoom call. And it's like, right, so you three will be working under B.S. Elzebub, he's really I'm really excited to bring a lot to this project, you guys. Ah, because the three of us have just kind of been covering the, no, I've got a whole mirror thing going on. There wasn't enough middle

management in this situation. Right, right, yeah. I'm going to send you guys a couple of select chapters from a PDF I stole of who moved my cheese. So there is a world where you could rewrite this script from the perspective of the evil entities as three ghosts

and a little lady demon. Yeah. And just, I mean, Gutenberg needs to work. Oh, yeah. You leave Gutenberg out of this. And you just use the scripts from two and a half men until it stops working creatively, aka never. Yeah. So then, okay.

So then we cut to Judy and the demon now is like Terminator voicing Lorraine and beckoning Judy upstairs. She's like, Judy, come up and help. Oh, yeah. Hey, can I say something brave from my full heart? If you're in a haunted house, and anything calls you into the attic and you go, you deserve it.

You deserve literally whatever happens. Thank you for your bravery. Also, this movie has spent the whole time. We haven't talked about it too much, but this movie has spent the whole fucking time trying to get us creeped out about the basement. Right? Like over and over again, people are going into the basement

and scary shit's happening in the basement and noises are coming from the basement and shit. And now it's the fucking attic is the fucking place that all the action is happening, right? It is. the mirror is there. Yeah, the haunted mirror that got destroyed earlier

is back and it's there. And it has the original crack because doy. Yeah, right. Judy touches the... Your grandfather can fix it. Yeah. He never did though, that lazy bastard.

Because he moaning about Harcustle McCormick. So, but then, so Judy touches the crack in the mirror. Why? Because it's fucking thematic. And then I don't know what fucking happens. What I have in my notes is

a cigarette rolls out from under it, unfiltered. I don't know what that was supposed to be. It was chalk. It was chalk? Chalk. It was on the ceiling when she moves a flashlight. It says, Miss Me and Chalk on the ceiling.

All right. Okay. Did no one else write the note when she touched the mirror? Judy touches her mother's crack. I wrote that elsewhere at my note. That was a fan fiction.

That was a fan picture. Yeah, so it was chalk that rolled out on. Okay. Yeah, so Chalk, and she looks up and it says, Miss Me, and it's Annabelle and Judy scurries away from Annabelle. But why is it Annabelle? Why is it Annabelle?

Because it's a sequel. So now there's five demons? Because Annabelle is very clearly a different demon. She's the fourth demon that it's all about. She's the one that it's behind all of it, I think. No. No. I didn't even know it was fucking chalk.

So what the fuck am I going to say? Annabelle is her own demon in the Conjuring Podcastaverse, which means that this demon, the demon of this house got down to hell and Annabel Demon was like hey man did you do my fucking bit

oh yeah no I just thought you know because the first time they ever saw demon it was you would be scary Are you mad at me?

All right and we have to emphasize here that being chased around by a giant doll which is what's happening in the movie at this point is as silly looking as it sounds like it would be

Yeah. Like, you've got to have a... When she grabs the doorframe and it's CGI cracks, I was like, guys, we're not even trying anymore. This movie had such a massive budget. It's like a $55 million horror movie. And none of it is on the screen. Yeah, where is it that?

Yeah. Patrick Wilson's pocket, I think. To get him to come back to do this one more fucking time. Yeah. So, and we should also put out, like, because there's a point where she, like, runs away from the attic. And then the demon, like, Terminator voices her again.

using Daughter 2's voice, and I'm like, oh, come on. You already deserved it when you went into the creepy attic, but now you're fucking asking for it. But then, of course, she falls down the stairs. I think those are just dangerous stairs. That's when Ed and Lorraine spring into action. They go up into the creepy attic and they see the mirror and Lorraine goes, It found us.

You came here. Yeah, right. so okay so but ed and lorraine they sit down to sit the family down to tell them the mirror's backstory from the cold open good grief yeah and apparently so they're like so whatever happened at the lady that you were interviewing at the beginning who had this haunted mirror and they're like yeah um we don't know we literally never checked back in with her just left her in there with that ghost of the demon we ran away like cowards no again keep in mind this is a story they made up yep it's not real. Why wouldn't you say

you defeated the... Well, first of all, Ghost Mirror wasn't part of their stupid fucking story. No. But like, why would you include this in your weird fan fiction of Ed Lorraine? Because redemption arc, right? You don't know our famous story about the time Ed shat himself? He was so scared by him.

Listen, there was a baby Yoda doll. It was possessed by a deep. He really got him. I know he died in 2006 and didn't see the baby Yoda doll. Baby Yoda died in 2006. Brogu, no. A long time ago in a galaxy car.

But at least he didn't see Trump get elected, you know? Yeah, there you go. I think that would have really hurt Grogu. What, what's wrong with Trump? So, I don't know why you guys always have to bring politics into everything. We're all having a good time. How'd my inbox get here? People is people.

It's okay. They decide that what they got to do is they've got to take the haunted mirror to their basement of demonic one. wonders, right? To his jerk-off room, again. Yeah, to his jerk-off room. To be very clear. Well, I never nutted on a mirror before. This is going to be great.

Every jerk-off room needs a mirror. Yeah, cannot wait to watch himself come. Yes, in a broken mirror, he can watch like 400 of him come. Yeah. Dream come true. And so now we have to have, so here's the finale of the movie, right? The rest of the movie is them trying to move the mirror downstairs to the car. That's going to be the finale.

All the demonic shit is going to be, like, you know, wrapped around that. So first Ed gives Tony a, like, after this speech will be in the finale type speech, right? He says, and I quote, anything can happen. And it most likely will. And then it doesn't. Yeah, right, right, yeah. I also like that he tells him to plan to ignore the mirror, right? I expect it for them to look the other direction.

I'm ready when my body is ready. Thai little moms will love that one Ed Cot. My fellow Thai Ties. My fellow Thai fighters. So, okay, so Ed prays, Christian movie totally counts. And then they strap down the mirror and they do some suspenseful attic walking.

Now, they painstakingly set up that in this attic, like there's nothing between the drywall and the insulation. You know, if you put a foot in a wrong spot, you'll just go right through. You just have to walk in the wrong. rafters. That was the attic where I grew up. You need Chekhov's drywall insulation combo. Yeah. No, they'll go through. They'll go

through. But that's, like, it's such a silly way to, like, create suspense. Oh, wow, you could put a foot through the drywall. That would be expensive and inconvenient to fix. It would be tedious to repair in the kitchen ceiling. Your neck would hurt so bad at the end of that. Yeah. But then we have some suspenseful

getting furniture down a flight of stairs, right? Yeah, but it's getting heavier. It does. It's is getting heavier. He's like, is it just me or is it getting heavier? And he's like, yeah,

no, that's how arms were. No, no, yeah. The demonic forces within it are adding mass. That's the devil all right. But then the mirror takes its clothes off. Fucking demon

sitting in his office. Okay. What if the mirror takes off the wrapping? The straps. Yeah. The straps. What if it makes it a slightly

more hazardous move? I don't know. He's going through a divorce right now. He has to walk. He wouldn't know where the rafters are because the thing would be... God, I miss my kids. So the straps are coming up.

And meanwhile, Tony can't... He's outside. He's got to bring the car around. They are trying to make that suspenseful as well. Tony can't start the car. Like, demons. He's a third of a block away from... Like, he could push the car in time.

It's so stupid. So he's trying to start the car. They're desperately trying to put the mirror in the car suspenseful and failing. But then, Mr. Smurrell falls down the fucking stairs. Yeah. We're getting to Mr. Bean levels of stair falls at this point.

Did a 75-year-old man with like some vertigo issues right this. Weak hip bones. There's less stair falling in Buster Keaton's electric house. Sorry, very niche reference, but it's a pretty good one. I was pretty proud of it. So, okay. I looked at Alan like, you get that year old, right? I remember the train coming at me

You two grandpa can slap your corduroy covered needs at that one So okay so but then he He falls down the stairs and then I guess Again it's really hard to kind of see what's going on I guess he's pinned down by the The stairs he just fell down I think the mirror fell on it

Oh yeah I gotcha He's pinned down by the mirror Very scary Yeah there's a moment where I thought they were going to lose a fight to a mirror and I was back in on this movie. Yeah, I was excited. Spoiler alert.

So outside, Tony gets the car to start and he's going to haul ass around the car, he's going to drift around the block. I'm like, you're a third of a block away that seems careless. And so he racks, right? The fucking old lady goes to peers and makes him wreck. Yeah, if he had just like driven at a normal speed, none of this would have happened.

He would have been fine, right? He would have just gotten out of her way. And not to take an unnecessary ticket to police force, but cops doing, like, illegal and irregular car maneuvers that end up in a fucking shit situation, totally normal. Yeah, no, old lady, there's an old lady ghost that jumped out from me. Old lady goes, so, okay, and so meanwhile, so they're trying to take down the demon-haunted mirror.

Lorraine is still walking around looking for jump scares. Right, why? She's got a job. Right, so, but she comes across Judy. And Judy is curled up in the corner because Judy is possessed by a demon. Is it the old lady demon or is it Annabelle's demon? I don't know. Got it.

This is a crowded workplace at this point. There's no way these demons aren't regularly texting their partners being like, so it turns out there's actually five demons in the house now. L.O.L. Kill me again. Would have stayed on God's side. At least that guy's got an org chart. Heaven is ISO certified. What's going on?

So, but Judy, creepy, demon walks on all fours at Lorraine. So Lorraine, say it with me, folks at home, falls down the stairs. Falls down the stairs. At this point, like, I don't know how many of the daughters got named within the movie, but I think like half or close to half of the name characters have fallen down a flight of stairs at this point. Oh, for sure, yeah. Yeah. So, but Judy is now demon-possessed, right?

So she's walking around all demon-possessed. The dog knows a demon-possessed lady when he sees one. So she, like, uses her telekinesis to attack the dog. Yeah, I don't like this. Well, no, yeah, because we don't just want to see the dog get hurt. All of us have some version of hurting dogs is lame in our notes and just ignore it for the rest of it. Like, it's a punishment. In the movie's offense, the dog does get up after being thrown against the wall.

It's like, it better fucking get up. You better get up. I would have been to see that dog get up and go. You know what I'm fine. I'm good. I'm good. You're right. I shouldn't have been barking.

This is on me. But also, like, if she's got telekinesis, she's underusing, right? Because the dog wasn't the biggest threat. But then Ed shows up and he has a very, is my daughter in there a moment, right? But just then, when he's about to, like, win the day

with his self-taught demonology skills, Judy gives him a demonic heart attack. She's five-point exploding heart. heart palms in the problem for Ed is that he's carrying his heart pills in a cigarette case so when he pops it open they all just fall all over the stairs like that's your first problem other than the heart condition certifiable idiot no no one Alan can can attest that that's how old guys carry their pills in a in a non-pill structure in mixed white bushels yes oh no that is I'll take one of them until the Lord tells me to stop all all of us people who have had heart attacks have

heart pills that we carry with us as well at all times. They come in a little paper for when it hurts. That the apothecary is getting you. Yes. And you shake your head longingly wishing for a lost youth

when you take them. Yeah. And they're mostly cocaine. It's fine. Yeah, well, right, right. Got to get it beaten again. It makes it worth beating anyway. Yeah, we've seen crank.

Yes. So then, so Lorraine comes into the basement where like the demon whispers have led her, I guess. I do believe she was knocked down the stairs to get to the basement. Oh, no, you're right. Obviously, she's been knocked out

to the flight of stairs as is the want of the folks in this movie. And, of course, ax-murdered demon is down there with her. And she, like, tries to hide with him. But old lady demon is hiding with her. And so the axe-muror, axe-murters,

axe-murder lady-victim ghost. Yeah, should have seen that coming, I guess. but again they work together so we have one of two situations now one demon murdered another demon and later they're all going to be sitting there at lunch being like okay I'm sorry I murdered you

I got caught up in the moment and I murder you or that's their bit which is even funnier right? I think it's their bit yeah they were in a rehearsal space in Ripley Greer for six hours the night before and then I come around and ax you there okay you're missing it you're a little slow little slow you're dragging not quite my this time should I say

I'm going to ask you a question before I keep telling you that line is not because we're going for creepy it's not creepy if it's if anyone needs me I'll be getting hit by a car outside God sorry that's my mom she comes to our demon haunting

it's okay so but then as the basement is flooded with blood now and as she moves through Tony breaks into the basement and everything disappears and and everything's fine because this can't go

when there's two people in the room there's two people watching so but then Ed at this point he goes all right get the book

and I'm like hey hey just start with the bazooka open with the book you gotta open with the book but you would think that after a thousand cases he would know

these verses by heart and not need to read them right and it's just the fucking spirit of sanctest thing that everybody does and I almost have it memorized because we've watched so many fucking exorcism movies from this and I don't even know what Latin

is. Oh, it's a language. Oh, okay. Well, that makes so much more fucking sense now. So, but they go back up to the attic and Judy has hung herself in the attic. And then he has to cut her down with this tiny little dull ass knife. He might as well be trying to cut through this fucking rope with a car key, guys. Thank you so much, Noah. It takes so fucking long.

I wanted to give a quick PSA, sharpen your god's damn pocket knives. It's not hard. You do it while you're watching TV. It's a partner out a little bit, but you do it while you're watching TV. Keep them sharp because you need to get through a rope. Or when you're dealing with customer service face-to-face,

yeah. Sometimes that helps. But eventually he does manage to cut her down and she falls through the ceiling. It does pay off. Yeah. And it's not downstairs this time. See, they're creative. But she's out.

They have to do something. CPR, right? So Ed starts doing CPR, but then he has a heart attack lit again, right? Because he's fine. He had the one little one, and I guess he got one of the pills. He took the pill. Yeah, right, the pill to reverse it. It's a bit of aspirin maybe. But now he's having a little heart attack

lit. So Tony has to do the CPR and she's fine because it's a movie CPR. And also he's probably certified in CPR as a first responder. He should let him do it from the jump. Yeah, right. Obviously, it would have been him in the first place would have been the way to go. But then the mirror is like, no, Noah can't pee. yet. And so it attacks them by spinning far

too fast for it to be safe at all. I hated it so much. It's just so angry. It does set up like Ed's going to fight the mirror. Yes. They do fight the fucking mirror. It does the stand-up and spin thing. I mean, yeah, that's

the climax of the film. Yeah. Yeah, but I thought like Marcus at Queensbury like, get up, you son of a bitch. Annabelle is there. She does the Mickey speech. I don't know who this demon is, but he stole my bit from like four scenes ago. You run like a goyle.

So, but Ed busts out his spellbook. He does the Spirit of Sanctabit. And then Jesus, like, Jesus' name saves the day, but then it doesn't. And the mirror bodily attacks Tony. Right. It grabs Tony

and like pushes him along the floor and it's just a wrestling move on him. A really bad brush for her. Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, it's pinching me. It's pinching me. The demon is pinching me. In the family's defense, they are not at all concerned about Tony while he's being pushed to the floor by his fucking mirror. They're like, anyway, like, what do you want?

Open face sandwich for dinner? Yeah, so, but just then, Judy flashes back to all of her having vision scenes from early in the movie and learns to control her powers or something. I don't fucking know. But all the warrants work together and collectively crack the mirror, which is good this time. Last time it made somebody fucking vomit blood. But this time it's good. And they win the movie.

Literally, I wrote my nose. The music changes the only way we know something climactic happened here. Yeah. How is this the climax of an actual major motion picture? Like, how do I get $55 million? No, the climax comes later. And then they all touched the mirror. climax is later when

Ed Lauren nuts on the mirror Oh yeah yeah yeah sure That's the big climax So yeah so okay So now we get the aftermath scene We have like wrap up text That tells us that the family The Smurls live there

For another three years And then they moved No not haunting related It's my favorite part of that haunting Is that like Because look here's the thing You're supposed to cash it on your thing You get your money

And then you move and you're like Oh yeah it was awful right Fuck out of West Pittston Yeah Everybody who knows, everybody who does that con knows that that's the bit. But that family were just like... He's a perfectly good house. It ain't haunted in here no more.

Yeah. Fucking mock it. And then the aftermath crawl tells us that the Warrens would continue being dangerously full of shit without compumptons for decades, right? They tell us that Ed died and Lorraine did not marry because she was like 80. How many 80-year-old widows do? Because she loved him so much, Katie. It was because she loved him so much.

She never saw another penis. No, woman. No, no matter how many were offered, and they were offered. What's a cock. Hey, if you're going to say your catchphrase, I think you to deliver it with your full heart-tussie, okay? What's a cock? That's what I'm talking about.

I knew what it meant. You have to picture her with a big cigar when she said. So, okay. So, but. Yeah, and then they put the mirror in the museum of bullshit. Tony gets his very own set of keys, and I'm like, oh, finally, I can leave the theater and go pee. But no, there has to be a goddamn wedding scene at the risk of permanent injury to my bladder. And they do this weird, happily ever after ending for the Warrens, which gave me a psychic break, right?

They were like, I think we're going to have a lot of fun years together. And I was like, fuck, my life is so hard. being a good guy. I record 97 podcasts a second. I want to con stupid people out of their money and write a shitty book gets 11 movie deals. But they're happily ever after just looks

like a Cialis ad. It does. It does. Really does. But also, so I want to point out, and I don't know what else this happens in the controversy or whatever, but at no point in this movie, does it ever engage with their income? Like, what do they do for a living?

Right? like there seems to be some assumption that like I don't know you know all this ghost hunting they did must have been very profitable and they're living off the profit but but like there's never any attention paid towards that and of course obviously if we accept that they're doing this for a living because like like they say in the movie like oh and then later you'll go ahead and you'll write your book or whatever so they haven't like written a fucking book about it or anything you know if it's not a fucking con where are they where's their money coming from right I think the big thing is that they're like do not talk about how we made money off yes yeah Like hide the fact that we did all of these public appearances. Don't talk about the 15 year old. My husband was fucking that I was complicit in. And do not talk about the fact that we made a ton of money off this. Yeah. By doing fucking griffs.

Yep. So. Yeah. Yeah. But they never charge any of the families. They just use these families trauma to go out there and make money. Right. And some of the family's lies to do it too. Yeah.

Sure. Yeah. But then the fucking movie eventually is like she gives this whole like, I had a psychic vision of the next, you know, 12 years of your life and 35 years of mine. And he's like, what? She's like, let me tell you all about it. So they do that.

And then we get these long-ass final titles while I nearly pissed myself. And then the fucking movie finally goddamn ends. We push through to the other side of the tunnel and we find credits there. The only way out is through. The only way out is through. Did you all stick around for the end of the credits?

Oh, hell no. Was there something after the credits? I had to pee. Hell and why? There's a wrap-up of the mirror. Oh, is there? There's a picture of Ed and the mirror that are like, these two actually went off and got married.

And jerked off into that mirror so many times. There was just handheld mirrors all around the mirror. The mirror had the miscarriage. Those are our babies. All right. Well, Katie, Alan, thank you again so much for your help. It's always great to have you on. Thank you so much for having us.

What a blast. This is. it's the highlight of our Halloween season. Thank you. Awesome. And if you would, remind our audience where they can go to hear more from you. Wear Wolf Ambulance, any of your podcatchers will have it. You could find us on Patreon, Weirailiff Ambulance for our action movie bonus episodes, and T-Public for T-shirts and all that jazz, phone cases.

I am going to buy so many T-Shash. Why did I not know you guys had T-shirts? Oh, they're so good. They're so good. Justin Gray does an amazing art for us. Awesome. There's one shirt that is us as a circus carnival barker. and there's a big thing behind us that has all of our little characters we made up including one

that's a big-breasted baby that just says titty baby above it. Amazing. Figure that'd be up your alley. There's also one of the hamburgler smoking a bong that says get high and do crimes for Satan. You might like that one.

Oh, yeah. We got one for Eli, one for me. All right. I'm just buying all of these while we talk. So that's going to do it for our review of The Conjuring Last Rites, but that's not going to do it for the episode just yet because we still need to spook ourselves

again next week. So Eli, tell us. what's on deck. A pregnant woman reluctantly goes to an illegal abortion clinic which also doubles as a brothel only to have her aborted, mutated fetus

attack everyone at the clinic. We'll be watching the 1990 classic The Suckling. That sounds like it's a perfect movie. You're welcome. Sounds beautiful. Thank you for not making us do

another haunted fetus movie. Thank you. So we'll have to look forward to we're going to make episode 528 to a merciful close. Once again, a huge thanks to Katie and Alan and definitely check out the show notes for a link to their show. It's awesome.

And an equally huge thanks to all the Patreon owners that help make the show go. If you count yourself among their ranks, you can make a per episode donation at patreon.com slash Godawful and thereby earn early access to an ad-free version of every episode. You can also have a ton by leaving a five-star review

and by sharing the show on your various social media platforms. And if you enjoyed this show, be sure to check out our sibling shows the scathe the Athea citation need a D&D minus and the skeptocrat available wherever podcast live. If you have questions, comments or cinematic suggestions, you get an email got off of movies at gmail.com.

Tim Robertson takes care of our social media. Our theme song was written and performed by Ryan Slott and Cavillivode drafts on Mars. All the other music was written and performed by our audio engineer, Morgan Clark, and was used with permission. Thanks again for giving us to check your life this week for Heath and Eli Bosnick. I'm no illusions promise to work hard to earn another chunk. Next week, until then, we'll leave you with the American graffiti clothes. Tony takes a good, hard look at the future he signed up for,

wises up and files for in an element. The mirror ends up at a barbershop and says, It's a living. According to the Smurals, the Warrens failed, and they actually had to bring in a different medium bullshitter. Ed and Lorraine Warren lived happily ever after, until Blumhouse needed more money. Yeah.

Yeah. This content is canned credentialed, which means you can report instances of harassment, abuse, or other harm at their hotline at 617-249-4-255, or on their website at creator-accountabilitynetwork.org. The preceding podcast was a production of Puzzle and a Thunderstorm LLC. Copyright 2025. All rights reserved.