God Awful Movies - 565: Citizen Vigilante

Episode Date: July 14, 2026

We're joined by Michael Marshall to review the xenophobic fantasy nonsense of Citizen Vigilante."Skeptics with a K" podcast: https://www.merseysideskeptics.org.uk/podcasts/skeptics-with-a-k"The Know Rogan Experience" podcast: https://www.knowrogan.com/The Skeptic UK: https://www.skeptic.org.uk/See us live in Washington DC: godawfulmovieslive.comIf you’d like to make a per episode donation and get monthly bonus episodes, please check us out on Patreon: http://patreon.com/godawfulCheck out our other shows, The Scathing Atheist, The Skepticrat, Citation Needed, and D&D Minus.Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars. If you’d like to hear more, check out their Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/

We don't have a right-wing media, like, universe constantly feeding people like, and by the way, mold will just absolutely destroy your property. Like, I get why Ui-Bull is wrong about immigration. I understand the poison that's been fed into his ear. But think about the world UES and where he's like, and then the hero stops to be like, muster is the silent killer. He is right that not properly ventilating a room when you have a shower

and it is going to cause long-term mold built up in the house. I mean, so he is technically correct about that. God-awful movie. Movies. Welcome back to the Gamecast, where each week we sample another selection from Christian cinema

because until this week, we hadn't found the worst one yet. I'm your host, No Illusions. Heath is off this week, that lucky bastard. But sitting 900 miles to my northeast is my bad friend, Eli Bosnick. Eli, how are you this fine afternoon, sir?

Are you really? Oh, this is what I was made for, baby. Okay. Look, some sad, Donald Glove, fucking James Glover sitting in his house. I love Jesus and Jesus loves me. That piece of shit's going to get hit by his own mailbox. This is what we're here for, baby. We're here for multi-millionaires making call to violence, terrorism, propaganda.

Jesus, fucking Christ. Also joining us, of course, is a man who we've never owed a bigger apology to. Michael, Marshall, Marsh. I'm sorry, man, that we do this for a living? Do you know what? I just got back from mainland Europe and somehow I managed to not get my throat slashed by any illegal immigrants. And that seems impossible having watched this movie. I must have just got lucky because that is happening to everybody at all times, apparently.

Oh, yeah. I imagine you must have been dodging like Neo or something to get through there. Well, you're not an underage girl. Otherwise, you would know. Sure. What I'm picturing is a montage of assaults happening behind you while you. sight scene. Right. Right.

Okay. So speaking of which, let me just open up this week with the trigger warning. Okay, because the movie we're watching, we'll get to it in just a second, is not fun. For the first two-thirds, you might mistake it for fun, but then it gets really, really not fun. So just be prepared for that. There are parts of this movie where we are not going to be able to make jokes about it.

Okay. No. It's crazy because people recommended this movie to me, and they said the words that people say, when it's not a good match for our show where they're like, oh, it's so problematic. And it's like, yeah, man, it's an action movie. Action movies are problematic.

Violence isn't the answer. I got zero set. We'll talk about it. I got zero seconds into this movie before I was like, I'd like to formally apologize to everyone who I said this movie was not a good fit for our show. It's time for me to take a step back and listen and not speak. Right, right.

Yeah. So tell us, Marsh. We've been talking about it for quite a while. We might as well drop the buck. What will we be breaking down today? We watched Citizen Vigilante. And it is the story of one man who is just so sickened by the violent crime committed by illegal immigrants in Croatia, the country he has illegally migrated to.

That one day he just snaps and he decides to exact his revenge by massacring several dozen police officers and a couple of passes by. It's less death wish and it's more death of. the West wish. It's birth of a Croatian. And Eli, how bad was this movie? Well, if you love dark and gritty vigilante vengeance films, but you wish they were against the imagined enemies of the world's only trillionaire and starring a man who shares his sexual politics, you will love this movie. It's, okay, don't call me by those names. Yeah. And is there anything you guys want to nominate this one for being the best,

being the worst at? Yeah, I'm going to go straight in with best worst citizen and also best worst vigilante. This is citizen vigilante. As a vigilante, as I mentioned at the top there, the majority of the things that he exacts revenge on are not anybody in the target of his actual revenge. It's all just the authorities and occasionally some people who happen to be driving past in a car. Terrible vigilanteing. Like he does kill some people.

he's trying to kill, but he also, like, they are a minority of the amount of violence and death that he does here. Oh, yeah. He's bad on the vigilante front. But we also find out he's bad on the citizen front because it turns out he's a fucking millionaire, illegal immigrant who's skipping out on paying taxes while complaining about people getting a free ride. Like, you're a terrible citizen and a terrible vigilante.

It is insane to me that they weren't just creating the worst possible bad guy with this character. Yeah. Every single characterization makes you hate this character more. and in Ui Bowles fucking mind, it is a good character. It is a hero. Yeah. We need a good action movie director

to make a movie called Foreigner Law Abider where they kill Army Hammers. Yes. But I'm going to go with best, worst English, which may sound problematic, right, because it's Croatian.

Obviously, English is not going to be a first language for most of the people. But the thing is, it's Croatian, because that's the only goddamn place where anyone would be willing to work on this fucking movie, right? So he had to take like Army Hammer, who was incredibly problematic, was accused of just brutal, brutal rape and sexual assault and multiple women said, you know, sending him,

sending him violent rape fantasies to him and shit, just crazy fucking awful human being. So he settled for him as a start. And then he had to settle for anyone in Croatia that could speak English more or less to fill it. And didn't care about ever having an acting career again. Right. Right. That was the limitations. And so you get these people just speaking incredibly broken English constantly throughout the movie because he's scraping the bottom of the barrel of extras. Yes. But the thing is like, yeah, they're speaking broken English. But he wrote like, Oveh wrote this film. So he could just write the dialogue for them. But somehow they managed to speak broken English in dialogue he's written.

That's true. He's the one doing the broken English here. I didn't think I would ever say, oh, how far he has fallen from Blood Rain 2. Yeah. But oh, how far he has fallen from Blood Rain 2. Also, it's fucking crazy. Look, we'll talk about it at some point. But you mentioned the Army Hammer thing. We got to get ahead of it.

The whole movie is about how rapist everyone is. And he's a really, really, really accused rapists. He's a rape. Right? Yeah. That would be like if I. I starred in a vigilante film about a guy who kills overeaters. The whole time, people would just be like, the one with the,

he stopped at the top of the stairs for so long, though, to catch his breath before he killed all those people at the buffet. It's fun. At no point, Army Hammer, who I will remind you was a legitimate actor until he got caught being a very, very bad. He was a calling by your fucking name. One of the most, like, tender emotion.

It's fucking, you see it and it's like a pop scare right? Someone's like oh come in and you see the poster and you're like and oh god it's Army Hammer, fuck it it and there's no point where Army Hammer was reading this script in the one bedroom apartment he lives

in next to the mansion he used to be able to afford and went well I don't know that I should say all these words about rape right? I probably shouldn't I should probably just sort of keep these inside I should see if they've got call me by your name too

in between. Let's try not to think about that relationship's age dynamic. How can we get that going? It is genuinely wild. It's a movie about how illegal immigrants are rapists and the main character is an illegal immigrant played by a rapist like Jesus Christ. Yep.

Sure the fuck is. Eli, did you have a best worst for us? Yeah. I'm going to go with best worst opening quote. So the opening quote of this movie is not real. Ui Bolt made it up. Yep. he was just like,

there are no words for ha cool I feel about Ving Jones. And so I will just say what I think. And that's the stark of the Moji. That is. It is. It's fucking incredible. He might as well go blah, blah, blah, blah. We'll talk about it when we get to the movie.

Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Ooi Ball, the maker of this movie now that you're watching. Right. All right. Well, I need to steal myself for this one. So we're going to take a quick break. But we're back in a minute with all the murderous xenophobia that is. citizen vigilante.

Chittesan Zittalanti. Okay, everyone, welcome to the first ever writer's room reading for Chitteson Vigilante. No, I just ate. I am so proud that we can finally make a movie that stands out to the

terrible, terrible rapist migrants all over Europe. Damn right. Sorry, what? That's right. Speaking of which, everybody, this is our star, Army Hammer, Big movie guest are. Okay, sorry, Army Hammer. Didn't multiple women

accuse you of sexual assault? Oh, and then some, yeah. I didn't do it, though. I didn't do it. Oh. They were all just jealous. All of them. Yep. That's so crazy. That's your actual real argument in real reality.

Anyways, listening to this open quote. Are you guys ready? All behavior can be trusted back to instincts. When justice is denied. instincts turn to vancans. Wow. That's incredible. Who's that by?

Cari Redi. Mesh. Sorry. You're starting your movie about how bad rapists are, starring an alleged rapist, opening with a quote by you. It's the best quote that now? The one you wrote?

Yes. Got it? Hey, podcast listener. Michael Marshall. And you know, we talk a lot here on Godawful movies about all the amazing things that Mint Mobile offers. But there are downsides, too, like Eli's ability to reach me on T-Mobile's 5G network. Hey, Marsh, it's Eli. I found a movie that's 11 hours of a woman screaming into a pillow that's just a picture of the round earth on it. Let me know if you're free that week. So Mint Mobile's wireless plans have no gimmicks, no gotchas, just high-speed data and reliable

coverage, and right now, all plans are $15 a month, even unlimited. Hey, Marsh calling you back. I bought your grandfather's ashes for a thing that did not work out. Do you want them? They are mostly fine. All plans come with high-speed data, unlimited talk and tech delivered on the nation's largest 5G network. You can even bring your current phone and your number. Mdog, what's up? I got you on speaker phone question. Hypothetically, if I had a bunch of pictures of your mother-in-law's bare feet, you don't have legal claims on those, right? You're not even related to her.

To get your wireless plan for just 15 bucks a month, go to mintmobile.com slash gam. That's mintmobile.com slash gam. Cut your wireless bill to 15 bucks a month at mintmobile.com slash gam. That's it. There is no catch. Up front payment of $45 for three months, $90 for six months, or $180 for 12 months,

plan required, $15 per month equivalent, taxes and fees extra, initial plan term, only, greater than 50 gigabytes may slow when network is busy, includes up to 20 gigabyte hotspot, capable device required, availability, speed, and coverage varies. See mintmobile.com. Hey, Marsh, stop doing your real jobs and explain a thing I'm wrong about, but could Google send? Emergency. and we're back for the breakdown and we're going to open on this weird ass fucking quote Eli you've really built it up.

Do you want to give them the quote? Oh, behavior can be traced back to instincts. Okay, I'm going to stop you there. No, it can't. No, it can't. That's no. And that bit appears just by itself before the next part of the clause.

And I thought that's such a weird thing to open with when your actor is an alleged rapist and abuser who wants tech to someone. He is 100% a candidate. Like don't say all behavior comes to instincts. It sounds like his defense. Yeah. That feels like something someone mean on Instagram would put over a picture of Army Hammer,

not the way you would open a movie. Right. When justice is denied, instincts turn to vengeance. Also, again, no, they don't. You're just a violent, weird fucking person. Yeah. And then it comes up and it says anonymous as the source of it. We're like, no, it's not.

It's right of this stupid, fucking movie. It's me. It was you. Yeah, it was you. If you don't like my quote, you have to box me. So we, uh, then we hear a gun being loaded. And I should say that the way this movie gets to its hour and 30 minute and one second runtime is by peppering in just constant shots of just him in a big gun room clicking guns and swishing knives. Yeah. So many guns. And he doesn't really use any of them. No. Because we only see him fire two guns. And they aren't any of the guns on the table.

They're two, like, ones mounted in a wall. And all three guns, he does actually have a pistol at some point. None of the ones that he's got here. This is just gun porn for the sake of it, I think. Yes, exactly. So, and then the movie informs us that we're in Europe, right, big on screen. Which annoyed me because it cut to a place, and it very clearly had the Croatia lottery, which is the Croatian lottery.

So I was about to say, okay, we're in Croatia. And as I was writing it, just went, Europe, because Croatia as a country isn't, And important enough to say it has to be just like, yeah, Europe, you know, go for the country. You know, Europe over there, essentially. Right, right. Hey, look, if you're playing to the audience that's going to watch Citizen Vigilante, you do not want to have to spend the first 20 minutes of your movie explaining that Croatia is a country. Yeah, and part of Europe too, yeah, right.

Yeah, that is fair. And I did think we are about to witness the biggest injustice against a Croatian since that VAR call against Portugal. That is what we're about to see. So I'm sure there are people out there who loved that in bars. Last minute goal denied by. A couple of jocks like, hey, you don't have to apologize to this nerd. You don't know me shit. I don't know what is what you're talking about.

We are four Croatian listeners right now. They're like, hell yes, my friend, you gave it. Yeah, but the full Portuguese have like thrown the head. Yeah, right. You cost us all the Portuguese. It touched his head. It was offside. It did.

It was a snick. The Portuguese can't afford podcasts. What? It's okay. Is that okay? Are they okay? Yeah, Portuguese are. I think they can afford more podcast than Croatians can.

Come on. Okay. Cool. I don't feel like I don't feel the need to get involved in this. I feel like it's like because you know how you're allowed to. If you were ranking the races, where would you put the Portuguese versus the Croatian race? Because like Spanish people, you're like, oh, am I allowed to be mean to Spanish people? But you are if they're from Spain.

Yes, exactly. Because those are just white people. Portuguese are basically Spanish people. Okay. Okay. So I'm of nothing to do with any of this. On behalf of Skeptic Magazine. Let's put all that aside and get.

Back to the racism. Yes, I was going to say, there's nothing less problematic that we're going to be talking about today, Marsh. I'm sorry to tell you. Because what's about to happen in this movie is a brown-migrant, a brown-skinned migrant is about to slit the throat of an innocent, blonde-haired white lady. Yep. Just because they're like that. And she walks home with her son from the candy store. Yes.

Uh-huh. They might as well be swinging their hands and singing, I like being alive. Yes. I thought that this was going to be that kid's like Batman moment. But no, that's just like we're establishing what immigrants are like. This is a thing that happens. Yeah, because we don't even find that kid again. It's not like the citizen vigilante then manages to find that killer and do anything about them.

That's just an apropos of nothing murder by an immigrant just to sort of set the tone for, you know, Europe. Yes. Exactly. It's an establishing shot for being European. Yeah. gentlemen, let me ask you, did you, as this movie depicted and talked about certain crimes,

do yourselves the treat, give yourselves the favor of Googling these insane ideas. I did a couple of them, yeah, later in the movie. Because every time you Google like, immigrant stabs woman for no reason, you're brought to fucking dog fart dot quunk.

And it's just, it's Elon, it's Milan Usk being like, one time. this guy was married to his wife and she slipped on a knife. That's like a migrant killing everyone. Oh, my God. And then this newscaster comes on. We're going to see a lot of her throughout the movie because, again, the writer is so uncreative.

He can't, how is this name pronounced? Uweboe. I don't think it's that. I appreciate it's Uve. Okay. It's Oveh, Ove Bole or something, isn't it? Okay. So Uvei is not creative enough to think of a way to establish anything in this movie.

so over and over again, we're either going to have our hero, quote unquote, doing direct address to the camera, right? Or we're going to have this newscaster explaining the movie to us, explaining the movie to us, explaining premises. And this newscaster has never done anything besides phone sex, and it shows. She's like, another documented immigrant was murder today. This is one of the few things I did genuinely look up because I could have sworn this was AI.

This felt like AI. The fact that she's got like a cut glass English or an affecting a cook glass English accent. I see you and I are using AI for the same purposes, for you. No, but like she's got an English-ish accent and she's like on, meant to be in reporting on Croatia for a TV channel called World News. And I was very confused by this whole thing.

So I looked her up now. She is an actress. I found her. Instagram where she's got reels of her. And she talks about this accent because she's an American actor. And she says, well, you know, being a newscaster, I thought it needed an English accent to do it. So she started faking English accent for it. So this is a real person. I don't think she's doing anything else. And her Instagram reels are just her doing like impersonations of cartoon characters. So it's not like her A grade material. Okay. Yeah, this might be her big breakthrough.

I feel like you should send me that link so I can check it out and make sure she doesn't do anything else racist. As an ally, I think it's important. I follow her on Instagram. Okay. Double check. Yeah. So yeah. So, but she's, she explains to us that many women avoid venturing out after dark because they're just constantly getting raped by migrants like the women of Europe are. Yeah. And then we get our title. Citizen Vigilante. Originally, apparently he wanted to call it the Dark Night until Warner Brothers sent him a cease and desist. You have boxed me for the name the Dark Night. Yeah, right. Right. You must box me. But also like Citizen Vigilante.

as the title, a name of the character and the way he goes about it. It's like a spirit Halloween Punisher costume. It's like we're not allowed to say we're punishing anybody at all.

We've got to stick to vigilanteing them. The murderer. So you see the title we've got crossed AR-15s and then we see Army Hammer's name show up. Yeah, a man named after

what Switzerland rejected as being too silly before they went for the army knife instead. Yeah. also really tough to have the dialogue be women are afraid to leave their houses at night army hammer's name on a black screen

yeah exactly yeah the music is like if you asked AI what fascism sounds like right yes yeah it absolutely is also like we got like army hammer we got the second billing which is the actor who's going to play the interpol guy third billing third credit in the the credits here is the costume designer Fair play to them. Fair play to them.

Good, good for them. Yeah. So, yeah, but then after the opening credits, the news continues and tells us about the Batman of racism, right? He targets, quote, criminals and those in power accused of allowing crime to flourish on check. So liberal politicians. Yeah. Right. And then we get some of these vox pop videos.

And we're going to get a bunch of these throughout the movie that are going to drop in, like, people talking about how awesome he is on their Instagram fees or whatever. But the first one we get is this lady that is just absurdly racist. Right? She's like, we're paying all them taxes and they're helping the Africans. I'm like, wow, that must be why Africa is doing so well as a country. I don't pay my taxes to help people. Oh, I'm evil. Yeah, Africa is doing so well because of all the foreign aid funding it gets from Croatia.

From Croatia. Apparently, like, Croatia do you love funding of Africa? We're set to a traditional hoofsnocking. And no thank you notes because you don't have paper. I wrote my notes. I like, yeah, it's about time somebody spoke up about the way the continent of Africa exploited the continent of Europe over all those years.

Jesus. Fun fact, by the way, if you would like to play along, there's a great game to play while you watch this movie, which is cameo actor or right-wing influencer. There's a really good one built into that. Yeah. Yep. So, yeah, she goes, as a woman,

you can't even go out after. 9 p.m. anymore? And I'm like, well, army hammer is on the loose, so I get it. I know, I understand. Sure, yeah. Is that the one who also does the end by essentially saying, like, do you think we should have murderous vigilantes? Like, click thumbs up if yes, and

heart if no. It's like, engagement bait on vigilanteas. Don't forget to smash that like button. Right. It's so bad. Also, I think it's either her or the news reader says, well, last week, the lead of a prominent Middle Eastern Crime Syndicate was discovered dead in a dumpster.

And I thought, how many Middle Eastern crime syndicates would you say were prominent in Croatia? Name your top five Middle Eastern crime syndicates prominent in Croatia. Oh, let me get out my trading cards. Let me get out my trading cards. I've got quite a few of them. All right. So, yeah, so then we see Army Hammer going out to vigilante.

And it's hilarious because he's so obviously dressed to go do crimes. He might as well be wearing a hamburger mask. He's got a little, he's got a little fascist haircut. Yeah, uh-huh. Yeah. And it's still doing the thing where it's cutting to him, like, doing the monologue of his rent. And at one point, he says, remember, everything I do, I do it for you. And I thought, okay, the vigilante is 1990s Brian Adams.

Yes, yeah, obviously. So, yeah, so he's doing this video where he's, like, obscured his identity. Because we see a bunch of people talking about him on YouTube. And then he's like, you know, everyone's talking about me, so I want to talk for myself. And the movie is just reading us Uvee Bowles manifesto. Yeah. Right? Also, like, he's speaking in an American accent.

and it's Croatia. So that would be really easy to pick up on, wouldn't it? Yeah, you'd think it'd be an easy pick. I'd say it's not the first thing he does in this movie that would definitely give his identity way. If Interpol wasn't either completely incompetent or soon to be utterly massacred down to just one guy. Yeah, exactly.

Yeah, down to their last moon. Part of this monologue, he goes, Clinton, Biden, Trump, you never see them on the front lines of any battle. and let me say, I would fucking love that shit. I'm 100%. Hey, I'm not going to agree with much of this movie. Just, all right, guys, come on, here we go. It's time for us to raid around.

Char. Yeah, okay. I'm coming. So then we get a workout montage in the gun room where, so, Eli, you have been lifting weights a lot longer than I have. Why was he, why wasn't he lifting the whole weight? Is that just the murder arm? That's the murder arm. You got to work the murder arm.

wasn't even lifting the weight off the ground. He was just using it like a cranking it like a lever like it was on a hinge. But if you do that, the weight is being carried on the hinge. That is literally the point of a lever. That's why you have levers. So I feel like that's just that you can hile in any circumstance. He wants to be able to hile through someone's forehead. He also, he's doing crunches because vigilante work takes good apps. You got to have good core. It does. You need core strength. Yes. Yeah. He also, he talks about how like you walk down the street and get stabbed or robbed or killed. And it's like, yeah, many such cases.

And then he says, and then you do nothing about it. It's like, well, you're killed. You can't be watching a man. So, okay. So then we cut to some evil immigrants getting ready to shake down a store owner. Right. And it's great because the bad guy, who looks like Middle Eastern, I think he was going for.

He's having to tell the henchmen how to look angry and do their job. Like, okay, don't do anything. Just stand there and look angry. I feel like knowing to look angry as a henchman is the first thing you learn at henchman college. Absolutely, yes. So it's like the first one of the list. Most, I have question.

I was thinking maybe when you are threatening him, I can be in the background doing like a little song. That's like a sunshine and lollipops or free throws. Should I do that? No, just look angry. He's like, you know, he's like, you guys don't do any of the talking. I'll do the talking.

And I'm like, I want to see the scenes before this that led to this conversation, right? We need you to pay. your rent. Yeah, bitch. Right. What are you doing your B? Yeah, bitch. Ruined this moment.

I'm your hype man. You're not my hype man. You're henchmen. It could be that he's talking to the actors. Like, I need you to not do any talking. Because if you say like three lines, I think we have to pay you more and give you crafty. And Army Hammer spent a lot of that on jerky, which he pretends

as people. Yeah, right. So, okay, and then, okay, so now it's time for the movie's first big vigilante scene. We see these three guys. They're really big, intimidating guys. And we're like, okay, so here's going to be the big action. Never mind, he just shoots them as they walk through the door. Yeah, they walk into Corridor, the lights are off. He shoots them all down. And that's why they didn't make it into the top three prominent crime syndicates. They just didn't do the spec work. Didn't do the work. Question. So his plan was to sit there in a dark

hallway, then, and wait. What if two questions, really, if I may, it's more of a statement. Two questions. One, what if they didn't walk in that hallway? What if they went in any other hallway? Two, how long was he waiting there? Three, what if someone else had come in? Four, what if one had come in and the others had stayed behind for a second? You know, so many ways this could go wrong for you. But we do know that basically the only tactic he has is wait in a small and closed space for people to come directly in front of them so he can shoot them.

Right. Yeah, no, you're right. He never uses another tag. Sorry, at the very end, he does come to the people and shoot them. Yeah. Yes. So, okay. And so we see more social media people saying, yeah, more people should murder the brown people. Did you recognize anybody no illusions? No, no, who'd I miss? Who'd I miss? The gentleman in his car is none other than Steph Malinu. Oh, was it really? Okay. It absolutely is. Yeah, absolutely is Stefan Molyneux, who, complete sidonaut. I met someone the other day who is related to him. Really? Yeah. Yeah. Who Malone. No, the person's really lovely.

They're like, oh, so Stefan Mollon, you. Yeah, I'm related to Stefan Mollon, you. He sucks. He sucks so bad. Everybody in the family hates him. You got to leave that. Luckily, that guy believes in getting rid of your family, so I bet it's nice. I think that was reciprocal and I think they might have done it first.

I think he's like he was defood before he'd do food them. My new theory is that you should separate from your family. Yeah, all right, right. So then the sex line news lady, she comes back to interview Interpol guy who has been tasked with bringing down racist Batman. When she interviews Interpol guy, she says, she leads into that interview by going, am I reading this one? That's the actor going, am I reading this line?

And Ue-Bull kept it in the movie, right? Yep. Okay. Sure did. We're just seeing her be like, is the movie over? And he's like, Kepa, it's gold. Yeah, it looks really, yeah, a lot of verisimilitude. Well, yeah, that's what happens when it's just life, man.

So, but then, okay, this is the first time, by the way, that we see two like militarized police vehicles driving down a road towards a destination. I want to just put a pin in that because we are going to see that for like the next 14, 15 minutes until they arrive at their location, right? We're going to cut back and forth to that. So, yeah, but on the news, he's telling everybody that the citizen vigilante is a terrorist who may be supported by Russia and China. so never trust anybody who says they're supportive, or when they tell you that they're supported by Russia and China, that's just a lot. It's not who funds great replacement theory.

So, okay, then we cut to our hero on a bus. We watch him ride a bus for a full 40 seconds before anything happens, but then a black teenager gets on, so you know that means trouble. Yes, yeah. And he gets his phone out and starts checking his phone and then puts away. So he's a mysterious vigilante who carries a smartphone in his pocket, but somehow has been untrackable the entire.

time. It's another easy example. We'll see more and more of them of how easily traceable this guy would definitely, definitely be. Yeah. So, okay, so with these three teenagers get on and they refuse to pay the fare on the bus, but he's got places to be. So he doesn't have time for this bullshit. So he pays

the fare, but in order to extract his, like, you know, his money back from them, he sits next to them and gives them a lecture on how when you don't pay your bus fare, it costs everyone more money. This? Okay. Look, I'm sad Heath Enright isn't here for so many reasons.

But this episode would be nine and a half hours long if we had to let Heath Enright talk about this gentleman's statement that if you steal a banana, if 10 people steal a banana, the banana's price goes up by 10%. Yeah. Like, look, I'm not promising to be an economic expert, but I'm pretty sure it's not that. Yeah. So that is true. But I also do think that if Heath was on a bus and saw three people fair dodging, I think he would both pay their fair and then sit them down and lecture them on basic economics. No, you're right.

That's fair. I think he would do that. That's true. So yeah, and then one of the kids goes to pull a knife on him, but he pulls a gun on the kid first and threatens to kill him over $4.50. So he's the good guy. He's the good guy. They're two childreny for this scene, right?

Yes. And the latest scene that they're in. They're way two children for the next scene they're in. This trope of like the bad people who get on the bus, they're supposed to be like 19, 20. They're like 13. Yes, 13. 14. Yeah. It's crazy.

It's pretty fucked up. Yeah. To the point where when he reached into his pocket, the kid, I thought the kid had been like guilted by the lesson in economics and was going to give him the money back. And I thought, okay, you see, this is why he's the hero of the movie in that he's not just about mindless violence. And then he pulls a fucking gun on the kid. Yeah.

And every one of those buses is going to have CCTV. So now the mysterious vigilante is on closed captioned television, pulling a gun on a child. So yeah, but then the kids get to their stop and they litter on the way off the bus. Motherbuckers. Don't worry, they'll get theirs before it's all over. And so, okay, so now he goes to this hospital. I wrote my notes at this point. It's genuinely impressive how boring this movie is.

But he goes to a woman who's been attacked in some way. We never really dive into what happened to her. But she's been attacked by migrants. we find out. And he's there to like get her permission to kill them. Yes. He is. He doesn't.

Like he is, but he doesn't. Like this never pays off. None of this. This is Elsa. It doesn't pay off. Yeah. He never even,

yeah. So he says to where he's like, you know, what do you want to happen to the people who attacked you? And she's like, I want him to go to jail for the rest of their lives. And he's like, sure, sure.

But hear me out. Yeah. That would be, that would be a whole big thing, right? Because you got to figure out which one. are guilty and which ones are innocent, you got to protect their civil rights.

What have I just murdered them? What if you didn't believe in systems? What would you like then? Yeah, that is the wrong answer for her to want to go to prison. So he now emotionally manipulates her and pressures her, like a victim of something or other until she breaks down in tears and says, essentially, okay, you could kill them now. Yes.

And he's meant to be the good guy. This is meant to establish that he's moral in his actions. We see him lean on her, like emotionally and with pressure, until she cracks. Yes. And again, you wrote the movie. You could have the lady being like, I didn't get justice and now all I want is vengeance.

And instead she's like, actually taking the system into your own hands is a terrible idea, especially if you're racially motivated, which you very obviously are based on your haircut. So I'm good. Thank you. And it would have been so easy for him to, for example, offer to, at this point, to pay for the criminal prosecution lawyer, the best criminal prosecution lawyer in Croatia and her to go, no, I don't think that's good enough. I want them dead. And he'd be like, okay, then, I guess my hand is forced.

Right. But it's not, he forces her hand. Absolutely, yeah. He also says the long and expensive trial. And I'm like, I don't think victims have to personally pay for the trial. He means for the country because if 10% of people don't pay for their crime. This is what happens is the big expensive bananas. It just gets more expensive to prosecute other criminals.

So then, so Army walks. out and he watches YouTube videos about how great he is on the way out of the door. And then he flashes back to the conversation he had literally a second ago. We see a flashback to a point where I thought, has the version I've watched been like corrupted in some way? And is it like skipping scene? It's like, Ove had two takes that he couldn't decide between. He's like, I'm using them both.

Fuck it. There's no rule that says I can't use him both. I do think it's bad that he leaves watching fan reactions to his content. This is why audience capture is just so dangerous for a content creator. He's not doing it for the love of vigilante. isn't anymore. Yeah. So, okay, and then we cut, we, we add in another layer of lazy exposition to the film, which is we're going to now also start layering in clips of him being interrogated by the Interpol guy who doesn't have anything on him. But we never actually see him get arrested and it never pays off. So all it is is just him, the monologue switches from to the voice maskey thing to the, him talking to the cops and being smarter than them. but it's your buddy who's about to get seriously arrested

for something that he didn't have to get arrested, the movie, right? He's like, yeah. Well, Mr. Officer, I think you'll find that I had my fingers crossed when you said, can I speak to you? But because it's a movie, they're like, actually they're not anything because he's the only one talking. And it's so stupid. We don't know when any of this is happening.

Because you say, yeah, we don't know, we don't see him get arrested or released and does that happen? Like, I can't piece together the timing of almost anything in this to a point where, later on, he's going to lock himself in a metal box for quite a while, but in the middle of that, be walking down the street. And I could not tell if he'd got out of the box or not. Like, genuinely I have no idea of the time frame of this movie at all.

And also, I want to address this, because I don't think we've addressed this directly. Like, the guy obviously playing the main character here, he's, Army Hammer is not doing a Croatian accent, right? He's American. And the movie, you might be thinking to yourself, how does the movie deal with the fact that an immigrant to Croatia is enacting all this anti-immigrant violence, right? how do they deal with they never deal with it immigrant is just a code word for brown person yeah in this

scene in this first interrogation he'll be like i am an illegal immigrant yeah so and then we also learn it through through this uh interrogation scene that he is a landlord that inherited all his money and i'm like god jesus are you trying to make me hate him more and also i i don't look at the menu of a coffee shop before i get to the very front of the line and i pronounce people i i correct people's pronunciation of words that are pronounced two ways. I'm looking on that. That's a big thing. But he's talking about like the security deposits of the properties that he like rents out.

Who is that for? Who is who wants him to start going into like. Fascists. Yeah. It's just bizarre. He goes up to one of his buildings and he's taking like four tours of the broken brickwork. And I wrote it makes it seem like he's doing a property inspection because he was just talking about security deposit.

But I thought, oh, he must be like, casing the joint for something else. But it genuinely was a property inspection for the building. Because later he complains about it being in bad repair. So we're just seeing him do some landlording. And that's the only thing that ever happens there. Yeah. We never come back to it in any

other way. Yeah. And right as he's doing his property inspection, all of a sudden the action music kicks in and we're like, really, is this an exciting property inspection? But then we see these military trucks again. And this time, we watch them drive for, I shit you not, over two minutes of the

film. Yeah. It's just two trucks driving down the road with bumb-bob-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb playing in the background. By the end of it, it's four minutes. I went back and checked and actually timed it. It's more than four straight minutes of the police doing some driving. Right. And of course, him setting up more and more guns in the gun room. Yeah. Very exciting. Okay. Well, believe it or not, I need to take the act break mid-mid trucks driving to the action scene because that's how fucking drawn out and

pointless this goddamn movie is. Yeah, it's like the trucks have to stop to get gas off. This is the act break for that to happen. But we're back when they've got their gas with even more of the racist bullshit that is citizen vigilante. Yeah, it's like the trucks draw past one of the signs in. Take regular breaks. Don't drive tired.

It comes up, a little flashing warning comes up. Yeah, in a break. All right, men, today we capture a dangerous, vigilantic criminal. We're coming at him with all we have. Full SWAT team. Hell yeah. Let's get the bastard. Now, you may be wondering what happens if he is in the big metal box with only slots for guns pointing out.

Well, if this happens, you'll run in there and you shoot that box. Yes. But, but, chief, what if he shoots us? Yes, we have thought about this. the next team will be right behind you. Right, right. But what if he shoots the next team? Yes, well, there will be a third team right behind them.

So I'm just going to jump ahead here from this sort of cycle. What if he shoots all the teams present in the building? Well, if that happens, then we will go to lunch, probably have a coffee or two. But then we will be back. Okay, but what if he leaves? The box while we are gone. Fine. We will make just one coffee and then we come back. Honestly, yeah, we're European.

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It was incredibly awesome. And we're back for my. more of this shit. We're going to rejoin the action with more directive dress from Hubei Bold's manifesto. Right? He says at this point, he's like, what if everything they ever taught you

was utter nonsense? And I'm like, what do you think E equals? Yeah, everything. I was like, everything. So what? Like plants don't photo-scentricized? There aren't eight noughts in an octave. That's not how Oxbow lakes form. Like, everything's.

everything, all nonsense. Mitochondria is not the powerhouse of the cell. He goes, he goes, well, you know, Nietzsche said. I'm like, well, but what if everything he said was nonsense? Why are we? But of course, he's quoting fucking Nietzsche at this point. And honestly, I could live with him shooting people if we didn't also have to listen to him philosophizing. Yes.

Like, that's worse. By miles. I wrote him at this point in my notes. Oh, my God, can I medicate the edgy 15-year-old that is the narration of this movie? Yeah, right. cops aren't there to help you Okay, bro. It's amazing. I bet you drew rock and roll

logos on the front of your notebook too, huh, Army Hammer. So, okay, then I have in my notes at this point, yes, Mars, I'm like, now we've been watching these trucks drive for four minutes straight. So to break from that, we're going to now go to a fucky spot so we can see girls and thongs. Just exploit a bunch of European actresses

because we can't get away from this film. We can't go through this film without doing that. This is a film about a problem, protecting women, which is why we got to get them dressed up in the smallest things possible for an exploitative length of time on camera. Oh, with a soft-core sex scene. Well, right. Like every shot going down this hallway is just like, it's just the ass.

It's just the thong. And then, of course, we move up to just the boobs and shit. Yeah. There's at one point we do a close-up shot where the entire camera is just filled with the lady's vagina in a leopard print thong, just like a massive. A front. Bang. That's the entire shot.

what's so funny is I was like, oh, okay, this is setting up that like he's here at this brothel to like stop sex traffickers and free these women. No, the vigilante. He's just here to fuck one of them. He's just here to fuck a hooker. Yep. Also, like for an absurdly low amount of money, right? Yes. Yes.

For what Owey Bowl thinks hooker should charge. Yeah. Yeah. So, first of all, just given his history, it is very irresponsible to put this act. in this hallway, right? Let's just address that. It is like there are way too many. It's like they put out a casting call

for Eastern Europeans willing to be in their knickers on camera and then figured, we can't have too many. We'll just say yes to the lot of them at this point. Come on in. Yeah. Yeah, there's 53 of them in this hallway. So he offers her 50 euros. No, 50 bucks.

I'm sorry, it is 50 bucks. Yeah, it's $50. Yeah. So apparently this part of Croatia is using U.S. currency. It's on the dollar standard. Yeah. I'm picturing her at the money exchange in her underwear, just being like, this is a long time.

Like, wait, I wish. I don't want to change it for Bitcoin, so I have to talk to the lady. What do you think in the brothel is a Bureau de Change in one of the movies? Fully stopped Bureau to Sean. It's just downstairs. One guy. Because it's got the neon sign outside the brothel and it would normally have like the various sex acts. And there's another neon sign saying like US to Euro 1.5.

The yen. There's mystique, Anastasia and Moishi, if you want to get a pretty deep. He goes. he's pretty decent, pretty good rate. So they go into the room so he can fuck her. And so we watch him fuck her. We get her bra off because, you know, Ove is allowed to make women do that as a job requirement in this job.

Yeah. He takes her knickers off over her foot like he's trying to unwrap the string from a salami. Doesn't go great. Honestly, if he had been tangled for the rest of the movie, I think this movie might have won't be back. So we get like, you know, 20, 30 seconds of softcore porn, right? Which again, like, it's an Owee Bowl movie. I get it, right?

I've seen Owee Bowls Blood Rain 7 or whatever the fuck he's doing. I get you boobs belong in the movie. But then the hero of the movie gets distracted from the sex he's having by the mold in the walls and stops to lecture the hooker he's fucking about how to prevent mold in her hooker apartment. Yes. It's ventilation, the proper ventilation in a brothel. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. And not only does it kill his mood. It also instantly kills the mood music that was playing during the sex. It stops dead the second he spots the mold here. Yeah. And then he had lectures her about that and then we go back to the sex and we're like, no, we're done now, man. Yeah. Well, he isn't done

because he does just go right back into it and it is pretty pretty shit. But the thing is as well, he lectures her about that because it turns out he's the order of the building. Yes. Which seems incredibly ethical that he's going into his own building and lowballing the sex workers for what the sex are going to have them to the point where even she thinks it's a shakedown because it could not look even like it could not look more like a shakedown that he stops midway through and then starts saying how he owns the building and like berating on it it looks like a fucking shakedown and here's the fucked up thing that's the whole scene right we're never coming back to this this isn't setting anything up we don't learn anything about

his character from this that's the whole fucking scene That's it. Yep. Five and a half minutes of him selecting a prostitute, having sex with her, berating her about mold, and then finishing off having sex with her. Yeah. Look, I know that it's not the worst worldview that is espoused in this movie by far. But it is the one that is the fucking weirdest, right? We don't have a right-wing media, like, universe constantly feeding people like, and by the way, mold will just absolutely destroy your property. Like, I get why UiBow is wrong about immigration. I understand the poison that's been fed into his ear.

But think about the world that he has to end, where he's like, and then the hero stops to be like, must you're the silent killer. He is right that not properly ventilating a room when you have a shower and it is going to cause long-term mold built up in the house. I mean, so he is technically correct about that. In this thought, the hero does come while making hard eye contact with the mold. Like he is definitely staring directly at the malls when he gets there.

He is. So, okay. So now we head to the club where I guess now Interpol guy is following citizen vigilante, racist Batman, right? They know that he. Is he? I think. Or is he just there?

I think he's just there. Yeah, because we don't see him follow. We don't see him looking at Army Hammer. He's just there. Because then a lady comes over and says, I saw you on TV. You're that guy. from Interpol, which I imagine happens all the time in real life. You cannot be

an Interpol guy in a nightclub without being hassled by some blonde or other. Signing autographs, yeah, exactly. And she stops to say, well, you know, nobody wants you to catch racist Batman. We actually are all on racist Batman's side. And he's like, no, I know, I know. Everyone in the movie. I know, I'm also secretly on racist Batman's side.

We all are. Even after he kills like 30 of my men. Louis Ball wrote us. Yeah, right. So, okay, so now we cut to two dushy guys trying to pick up girls. And I honestly could not tell for the longest time whether this movie thought these were good or bad people.

Right, given what we knew of this movie. Yeah, it took a while. Even when they started roofying the girls' drinks, I was like, oh, I don't know if this movie's pro or A and so. They put gay rape drugs, and I thought he was going to walk over and be like, when you don't pay for your date rape drugs, the date rape drugs get 10% more expensive. Who knows?

10% of other rapists have to pay more for their GHB. Yeah. Interestingly, these white guys are the only rapists in the movie the vigilante chooses not to kill. Oh, weird. They get sort of a wily coyote Sesame Street vengeance, don't they? Yes. It's so weird. All he does is do like a weird little like switcheroo on the roofies.

But when you watch him do that, because there's four shots of tequila and the white douchebags have roofied two of them while the girl's in the toilet. And he comes along and he switches the first two. And then he goes to the switch the next two. And then he pauses and it's like, has he forgot which ones he's free? switched all right, because I was not confident he was going to be able to pull off his double switch. They come over his face down asleep on their table. Sorry, I was sad. I was going to rape. I didn't know. I ain't take it. Let me eat your foot. Yeah, but so yeah, he switches the glasses out so the guys end up roofying themselves. And that's all that happens

to them. So they still have the roofies on them. They still got the GHB or whatever it is in them. So if they do, they're just falling, they're just asleep there in the thing. So if that wears off all like tomorrow, they just carry on doing this because they've really had no re-kind of repercussions for their work at all. Well, they're not doing anything serious, like driving in a yellow car, you know? So there's no reason for them to.

So, okay. So then we cut back to the interrogation for a second. He's answering questions about having unrefied the guys. I don't know. Like that whole thing, like he's saying, well, you know, I do frequent that bar quite often. But I spell my name in all lowercase

letters, so, or whatever the hell it is. so then we cut back to the guys now the guys are all roofied up and he goes over to the women and he's like those men put something in your drink I swapped out the drinks and I'm like why didn't you just come and tell them that in the first place yeah I was building a dramatic moment yeah okay hey if you could just not leave anybody with rapists ever if you see a right you just immediately no I was because then I couldn't do the have you guys seen the princess bride I was sort of doing but I didn't offer because I I but then that and what do you guys think? You want to fuck her with me? How much Modes is in your apartment? But also he's a mysterious vigilante. So obviously when he's done the mysterious vigilanteing, he walks up with the women and says, hi, I'm the mysterious vigilante. I'm mysteriously vigilante. I'm just a bit of mysterious vigilanteing here. Here's my face. You can get a good view of how tall I am and things. Also, anyone around can hear me saying this as well for in case anyone in the Interpol happens to be here and try to track

me down, but I'm still somehow under the radar. Also, I hate to be this guy, but I am kind of doing the social media thing now. So if you wouldn't mind, like, just putting me, it can be green circle. It can be a green circle friend's story. Just be like, oh my gosh, the vigilante's so cool. And look, I mean, it's just

a small thing, but I don't want to have to start paywalling some of my vigilantees. I want to keep it as free for as long as possible. My Patreon. So yeah, but the Interpol guy, he watches all of this happen, which means the interpol guy watched these guys, Riffie the girl's and didn't do a goddamn thing about it, right?

He's like, I'm off duty, it doesn't matter me. He's off duty, he's off his European. You know, that's true. So, yeah, but he's like, you know, wait a minute, that was a very racist Batman kind of thing to do, swapping out those drinks. So then he goes and he gets racist Batman's DNA off of his glass that he just left at the bar, right?

And it's brilliant because he takes the glass away to be analyzed for DNA. And for safekeeping, he wraps it up incredibly tightly in a cotton handkerchief, like making sure that every bit of it is very tightly, against the cotton. He just cleans the glasses what he's doing.

I'm going to put this in my bleach. I'll put this in my bleach container so it can't get contaminated. So then, okay, so then finally we get

to those goddamn trucks that we watch drive performance. We go back and they finally get what they're going. And we're like, oh, finally this action scene. No,

we've got to watch the cops that we're in those fucking trucks walk for two and a half minutes. It's so long. We see them like troop after troop walking upstairs around the villa to try to slowly make their way to the front door. There's a comedy sketch is worth of stairs too, right? It's like that scene in Ghostbusters or something, you know? So what's amazing is they can't decide whether or not this is a stealth swat or a not stealth swat.

Yes. They saw, they have a circular saw which they used to saw the front gate open. But then the rest of the stairs, they're going to be like, boon, boing, boing, boon. I wanted him to pop out and be like, guys, I saw the saw thing. I heard it outside. Obviously. And then, yeah, because there's like, again, everything is just to a hilarious degree. They got to saw that off.

And then they've got to break into like four successive doors, but they're going to pick the locks on all of those. Well, they don't just pick the locks. They use small explosives to blow the lock on everyone. So they blow the first one. And then the second. And it's like, at this point, you're just on his living room door. Just try the handle first.

Nobody marks the living room door. And it's so wild. I cannot stress enough. We are 40 minutes into the movie by now. The vigilante citizen, the citizen vigilante so far has had sex with some sex workers, moved some glasses in a bar, and then gone into a panic room. That is it. That's all we've seen.

No, he stood in a dark hallway and shot those. That is true. And threatened those children. And made some YouTube videos. Yeah, okay. He took a bus ride. You're right. Yeah.

And okay, yeah. So while we're watching the cops all walking up and blowing the doors and all of that shit, we're also watching him sort of lot of. himself in this panic room where he has two machine guns poking out and nothing else, right? And the machine guns swivel. Now, importantly, they only swivel horizontally. So he better hope there's no like ducking cops or something like that. Fuck him up.

Short cop even. Short crawl cop. Oh, get out of here. Hey, guys, can I manifest? I know we're skeptics, but can I just put something out in the universe and just can we all just hold it in the life? second. I really want Ui-Bull to end up in a

stand-off with the cops, and I want him to think this is how he's going to do it. I really want it super bad, and I'm willing to trade a lot of universal energy. There's like a one in seven on Kalshi on that right now.

There's a very high likelihood that that's how that story is. We could say stuff in this review that would at least put him in the box. I'm not saying the cops would get there, but he has the box. So, but before we can get to the action there, oh my God, before we get to the action, like if the one thing this movie wants to kill more than criminals is runtime. Yes, this is the main thing it's here to kill.

So we're back to our sex line news lady, and she thinks racist Batman, he's doing better than the cops. She's like, she says, if immigrants cost more than they gain, we should, you know, change how many immigrants we're letting it. And I'm like, oh, so a humanitarian We don't even, we're not even going to nod towards that anymore, huh? Yeah, it's just pure cost benefit. How much money does helping people escape genocide make us? None dollars? Right.

News and 11. But here's the thing, though. It does. Every credible study that's ever looked into it suggests that bringing refugees into your country brings economic benefits to your country over like basically any window of time that you fucking measure. Yeah. They don't care about that.

And the thing is as well, in the argument of this movie, we've seen people, oh, you're drawing from the system, not paying their fair share, but those kids weren't all immigrants. Like some of those kids, I think the last from those kids was Croatian.

And also, he's a migrant. He is an immigrant. The bad guy is about to slaughter, he's about to slaughter a fuckload of police officers, which does feel like it might be a negative in the cost-benefit analysis of you being there for the state.

Like, purely just replacing those officers is going to cost some money. Like, you are about, for it here. The person who does the most murders of innocent people in the movie is the protagonist of the movie. Yes. And that's what we get to here. Right. We finally get to all the cops. They get to the, you know, the last of the Maitrejska dolls worth of fucking doors. They've got to go through, right? And they all, all the cops, they line up right in front of his swivel guns. And they're like, come out of here. Don't shoot us with your swivel guns. And he's like, guys, I'm totally going to shoot you at

my swivel guns. And they, he shoots them with their swivel guns. And then the next group comes in. Yes. And he shoots them with his swivel guns. Yep. And then the next group comes in. And look, I know, because UiBow is watching this right now in his little box and he's like, it's because I wanted to use all my squibs. Okay. Use your fucking squims on terrorists or whatever. And the squibs are nonsensical. The last guy's face explodes outwards like this. What? And it's the same gun every time. So what happened to? that guy. Right, to that guy in particular. Did he just have a lot of explosives that he was carrying in his mouth just in case they needed to use them? You know, he had his hands full with the guns. So he put the C-4 in his mouth for safekeeping and that kind of boom. Also, what's up with this interpull guy that just keeps sending in wave after wave like Kaiser Wilhelm over here? It's like what you'd think you'd tell one of them like, hey, why, go in low.

Yeah. Hi, go high, get tall guy. Yeah, it's like they forgot what the T stands for in SWAT. Like you've got your special weapons. And no, sorry, I don't know what the T is at all. And this Interpol guy, he's going to keep sending him in. And then in a bit when we see him again, he's going to be surprised that they're all dead. Yeah. What did he think was happening? Yes, thank you. They are taking a long time to arrest that vigilante.

There must be some kind of black hole in there or something. Yeah. Six minutes, this takes, six minutes of him shooting all of these people. Just bab, blah, blah, blah, blah for like wave up. Six minutes of the 90 minute runtime is just squibs. Elon Musk was like, the world needs this and they'll share this with the universe. Right. So we haven't actually talked about that yet.

This movie was banned in a couple of places. Can't be shown in a couple of places. And Elon Musk got so mad about that because it's got this important great replacement bullshit message at its heart that he bought the rest so that he could make it free on Twitter for like 48 hours so that more people could fucking see it. Yeah. Right. So yeah, this disgusting piece of shit racist-ass movie is being promoted by the

richest man in the world. Yes. And by the way, if you haven't watched the UiBol celebration videos at that news, it's fucking great. Oh, I've not. Oh, it's great. He's an idiot, obviously. But he's like, oh, Horage.

Does anyone else agree with my super cool? Yeah. Just banned in the country of Germany, huh? Worst. Oh. Yeah. The Germans. They know a lot about this shit.

They didn't like it so much. They're probably wrong about this one though, right? It's fucking nuts that we are supposed to sympathize with this character who's just murdering cop after cop after cop, right? Yeah. Just picture for a moment. Just picture for a moment that we here on our YouTube movie review show with anything close to the amount of endorsement of killing cops that Elon Musk does.

by making this movie free for 48. I would be talking to Cash Patel right now. I'd be having to pretend he's not doing coke in my bathroom right now. If I even hinted at beliefs about killing law officers the way this movie does. Okay. And so now I guess Ui thought that I'm going with Ui, I'm rebelling. Right, baby. And now we're going to talk about it.

Yeah. That you probably like this character a little too much at this point. point, right? So now he makes a surprise inspection at the real estate job that he inherited, where everyone else does all the work and he just comes in and yells at them sometimes. Yeah. And when you say now, when? I don't know. When is this? Yeah. Is he still in the metal he was last in the metal box shooting people? We don't say him moving that. We just cut straight to him going into this office. So is this a flashback, a flash forward? Is this him having left the metal box and just ran to the plate? We do not know. No idea. He's just gone to this

tiny little office with antlers on the walls and that's all we really know about this. Yeah. Your shoes are all covered in blood. Do you know, it's okay. We're talking about it. Okay. So this scene is so that, because again, we get so many gifts from this movie. I can't believe you didn't love that. There's so many, we have so many violent fantasy movies out there.

But how many times have you seen the stupidest person you know talk about renter laws? It's a whole movie scene where your racist shitty uncle, who by the way is living off social security, is like, well, I tell you how I'd make the laws. you'd get now wait one second i got an idea you're if you stay in my house for two days but you don't have the rent i wait who am i it's okay so it's incredible we watch this character he goes in to talk to the guy who runs his business for him and he's like you know like if 10 10% of the people aren't paying their rent we need to find ways to to make the bananas 100% more expensive yeah and it's it's so great because he says like 10% of people, on average, 10% of people aren't paying rent. And Army Hammer says, okay, how many

of people are behind on rent? And the guy says, oh, it's always under 10%. And I'm because, okay, so on average 90% pay, it's like, yeah, that's how numbers work. That is how that numbers work. I'm a fucking idiot. Well, so, and then he explains that those 10% are stealing from him, damn it. And we need to beat them up or otherwise intimidate them into moving out so that we don't have to worry about all these bullshit laws that make us evict them through some kind of legal process. And that is the vigilanteism here.

Those are the laws he's willing to break. Rental protection laws. That's the way. He's just a fucking landlord. And I don't know who snuck into the writer's room, what miracle happened, but the guy is like, oh, no, we can't do that. Yeah, that would be illegal, man.

That would be so bad. There's a mad detail we learn about this as well. He says, what we own, like 10% of people, aren't paying. We own 3,500 units in this city, which means there are like 50 million a year being stolen from me. But 3,500 units in the city. This is Croatia. Let's assume this is Zagreb, the largest city in Croatia. That's got a population of 750,000 people. So Army Hammer here owns one commercial property for every 200 people who live in the city. And he's complaining that the people who aren't paying rent, they're stealing from him. But like, my question is, how did

this American come to own the majority of Zagreb's business infrastructure? I think he's very clearly military trained. I think he got up to some shady shit during the Yugoslavian civil war. I think he went over there to Kosovo and I think he came away with

some friends who had a lot of property for him. And I think, look, if you're thinking to this at this point, man, this character seems a little too likable. Don't worry. We also show him, like, he shows the photographs that he took when he was doing that property inspection earlier and found that, like, stuff in the building was crumbling.

And the guy's like, that's going to be really expensive to fix. He's like, no, don't fix it. Just do the absolute minimum. Don't fix it. He's a slum lord too. And then, in case you're thinking he's too likable, the guy says also, hey, so the tax authorities have been sniffing around and they realize that you're not paying your taxes in Croatia.

So he's also a fucking tax cheat. And he says, I'm not giving them my ID because, you know, I'm not actually legally meant to be here. So you're an illegal migrant who's skipping out on tax. You are not paying your way. Do you know that for every billionaire, for every millionaire landlord who doesn't pay tax, that just raises the taxes for the other millionaire landlords

who don't pay them either? This scene is so absurd that I developed a small pet theory that I just want to put out into the world. I think there is a chance Uwee Bowl made this movie sarcastically. And in one year, he's going to release a video of him holding a newspaper from two years going, hey guys, it's me, Ui, Bo, I make bad movies. I'm going to make a bad super racist movie

where the bad guy is obviously the bad guy and you fucking idiots are going to give me a bunch of money for it. So I'll see you guys in three years when I give away the game. Honestly, that's the only thing that makes sense because you might be thinking to yourself at this point like, like, wow, this character seems too likable. So then he walks out and he looks at all of these employees

that are cramped together in way too little desk space and he says, these people are too old, fire him, bring in young blood. Yeah, it's crazy. And the only thing I thought that could redeem this, that could make sense of this, because of the weird time split thing going on, like, isn't he still in a metal box slaughtering police officers right now? I thought, is this meant to be who he was before? Is this like the hymn before, before he got scrooged into like, oh, he's had an awakening, and now he realizes the error of his ways and he's trying to atone by taking people out? No, no. I've no idea if this is even significantly after.

after all the police killings. Like, I have no idea when in his life this, this, this conversation happens. He got visited by three racist ghosts. Yeah, right. Yes. You got to start killing,

Brown. It was the same ghost, but Marley was still Jewish. So he's like, so he's like, yeah, I'm not on board. So after a brief detour in the gun clicking room,

he goes to the bar. Again, we have no idea when this is related to him shooting all of those cops or anything like that. Mm-mm. Then we go to the interrogation again. which he uses to exposit about his parents' deaths

and how that affected him. Yep, we're supposed to care. Me and my dad weren't really that close. Who fucking cares? Why would we care? You've just killed 40 police officers. We don't care. And you've done no real vigilanteing.

You went to a lady in hospital and pressured her into letting you kill the guys who assaulted her. And now you've forgotten about that. And you will never do anything about that. So all you've done is made a victim feel bad. Right. So then, okay, so then we go back to the place where he murdered three dozen innocent cops who had families and shit. And the interpol guy comes in and he's like, oh, wow, I didn't realize he was killing him to death.

I just got back from my lunch. Shit. Also, he's, at this point, he's gone. So we also need to point out that he didn't just kill the cops. He killed all the cops. None of them called for backup. Nobody did anything. And then he just strolled out the door.

Well, no, he went down a tunnel. There's a little tunnel inside his little box. Yeah, we'll see the tunnel in a future scene. I missed the tunnel. And can I tell you that honestly, the fact that he just left haunted me for the rest of the movie. I'm so glad there was a tunnel. Okay, that makes sense of what you're intertition lines. Honestly, I would have, I would have yes, added the shit out of you, but there's what we have to talk about the tunnel scene.

It makes him even less likable somehow. Yeah. And there's also this moment where the interpol guy, he looks at the cable guy, he looks at the camera, almost directly to camera. And he goes, this shit's got to stop. And I'm like, man, I was telling myself the same thing at this point in this movie. Jesus. What shit, the mass slaughter of dozens of swatage. And it's like, yeah, you should think that.

You're their boss. Right. You're the one that said them in there. Should have stopped a little bit like after wave one at the very least. Team A, I get it. Nobody likes Yorgian checking off. But Team C, team C had Gouffrey in it and we loved Gouffrey. And the thing is, Christ, it doesn't have that larger population.

So that is a decent chunk of the law enforcement. I don't think about five million people in Croatia. That's like half of them. He's the landlord for one out of five of them and he's murdered one out of ten of them. It's a lot. And the other half are in America right now losing to Portugal when I was watching this movie. There's not a lot of people left in Croatia. Got him.

There you go. You won him back. He was like, they should have sent Luca Modrich in. Luca Modrich is small enough that he'd been underneath the bullet line. You see, the guy can do everything. He's a gem for our time. The guy who took his headphones out earlier, he put them back and he was like, no, I'm going to give Marsh's second chance. it didn't mean.

Oh, you got me again. Michael Marshall. I don't want Luke Maudrich dead. All right. That's what he says. That's what Michael Marshall says all the time. I hope whatever name is dead. All right.

Well, for now, at least the Inter Bowl guy will get his wishing. This shit will stop. But first, let me give Act 3 of the hardest cell. How come there ain't no white history month? Why is it okay for Puerto Ricans to have a pride parade but not white people? How come I can't say the N-word, but right? rappers can. Find out the answers to questions just like those when we return for the way more racist and disturbing conclusion of citizen vigilante. Pardon me, Elsa, I am with Interpol.

Yes, I spoke to your colleague. My colleague. Yes, the one who came to talk to me about my attackers. But we did not send anyone to talk to you about your attackers. Oh, you didn't? No, Elsa, the man you spoke to may have been the vicious and murderous vigilante. Oh, wow, no way. Yes, he has been taking down the evil men that we can and will not, with righteous fearing. That's so crazy.

You must tell us what he looked like. Oh, um, he had a beard. I see. White hair, very heavy set. Wait, I'm sorry. Are you describing Santa Claus? What? No.

Actually, you know what? You did a long beard and the pointy hat. Okay, now that's Gantov. Rhinestone glove and he could walk backwards while he was dancing. That's Michael Jackson. Who? Okay. Hey, podcast.

listener, as you know by now, we just announced our God Awful Movies Live show in Washington, D.C. for August 14th. And there are still tickets available at God Offal Movies Live.com. Yep. Not a lot, but they are there. Yeah, there are nine platinum tickets. It's eight, probably less when they hear this. And like, there's a few VIP ones. A few, yeah. What we're saying is we know a lot of you have been looking forward to this show. and we've been looking forward to coming to D.C. But we're almost certainly going to sell this one out. So if you're going to feel sad, if you miss the show,

maybe pick those up sooner rather than later at Godawful MoviesLive.com. Yeah, that's gut awful movies live. com. Got Awful Movies Live on August 14th in Washington, D.C. Really hope there are tickets left when you hear this. Yeah. You could just get a bigger theater.

We did. We did this time. Yeah. It's not a lot of theaters in America. anymore. And we're back for still more of this shit. We're going to rejoin the action with him getting more permission to murder brown people from another rape victim.

This time, a child. A child this time. Yeah. And he knocks on the door of this house and saying like, good afternoon. And I thought, is this him coming to dole out justice to the people who are late on their rent at this time? Because he is knocking on the door. He's their landlord.

And we know that's what he's about. Yeah. And he's like, you know, I want to talk to you about the court case today. do you think you got justice? The guy goes, are you a reporter? He says, do I look like a reporter? And we're like, I mean. Yeah, he does.

Yeah, sure. I mean, reporters don't look a certain way, but I mean, to the extent that they do, yes. He could absolutely possible a reporter. You look like either a fascist or a sculptor who uses they, them pronouns. And it's weird that those are the two options because of the haircut, but that is one of the two things you are. But basically he says, you know, do you feel like you got justice? or do I have permission to murder your rapists? Yeah.

Right? Or your daughter's rapists. Yeah. And he said he's there to help. But what we've seen so far, he doesn't do anything to help. Like, okay, he will do something to do, to get revenge on these rapists. But from what we've seen in the first hour of this film, he is not a man I would trust for vengeance, unless my vengeance was against the concept of policing.

Right. But yeah, but eventually, you know, the dad's like telling him to go away, but the daughter's like, no, there was no justice in court. So he has this permission. So then we check back in with Elsa. Now, he's never done anything that we know of to help Elsa, but the cops come in just out of coincidence to talk to her, right? And we get the sketch.

We get, this is the scene that we based that sketch off of where she's like, you know, he's like, oh, you know, I think it was the vigilante killer guy that you spoke to. And she's like, oh, he was a Middle Eastern dude with a beard. Yeah, black hair, eye patch. opposite. But she says like, because Interpol guy is saying, you know, we're going to catch the guys. And she said, but your colleague said that you'd already had them. But he didn't say that.

He watched the scene. He didn't say that. He didn't even say the new here they were. Did this movie forget how that scene went or is Elsa lying to the movie as well as Interpol here? That was pretty high when I talked to. Oh, he was so friendly. He wasn't friendly.

He made you cry. We saw him do that. Yeah. He browbeat you into like, endorsing murder. And look, I don't know a lot about Interpol. I know that they are like the, you know, cross European, cross world, collaboration between police.

How often do they investigate a single woman's assault in a country? Why would he be the one? Yeah, exactly. Makes no guy. Well, you know what? He's the only cop left in Croatia at this point. That's right. Everyone else is dead.

He's got to do it. He's got to do all of the stuff. Got to be him. Yeah, but so she lies about his, about what he looks like. And then we cut to army and his crime and get up again. right he's we see him walking through the park and who should be in that park but those kids that didn't pay their fucking bus fare it's the bus miscreants yes and they are bullying a kid with a backpack at this point and he is going to fuck them up so badly because they are bullied look bullies are bad I don't think they're immediately walker for them and taser them in the face levels of bad immediately I mean I'm not pro bully I'm anti bullying but I don't think I'm I'm also against adults using tasers on children who are bullies. It's literally the It's always sunny scene.

It's literally the geniuses who made it. It's always sunny. We're like, hey, what if a full grown adult full on fought children? And Uybo is like, no, but what if a full on adult fought children? And what if once he had them down after he'd taste them, he stomped on their hands until they were broken? Yeah, we hear that bull. smash in a way they probably won't recover from in any kind of way,

which I guess is a fair punishment for bullying a kid over his backpack that one time and skipping out on the bus fare. Well, and littering. And littering. And that's right. It's the littering. That makes sense. And so far that means that all the vigilante justice we've seen him doll out is tasering two teenagers,

switching some roofy drinks, and massacring into pole. That's the vigilanteous. Right. Well, and he killed those three brown guys in the hallway. You killed the brown guys. You keep leaving that out. You Keep leaving that off of his resume. Because you're pro-brown guy. Well, that's true.

Yeah, they might have been cops. We don't know. We actually have no real reason. Competing landlords. There's a lot of things they could have been. I just, I have to point out one thing. It's so funny because it just is such a perfect insight. So the teenagers, there's three of them and one's a girl.

But Ui-Bowl's fucking insane worldview kind of understands that Army Hammer smashing the arm of a teenage girl is bad. So when he goes, so they're all three bullying and when he goes to stop them, she evaporates. She's just gone. She's no longer a part of the fucking scene, yes. Which is wild because we will pull out. Well, like as he's walking away,

the shot will pull out and we'll see there's no one anywhere around. She really has just. And as we are zooming out like that, you hear the kids like screaming in agony for so long. And then just at the end of that long, slow panning out shot, we cut to them from a different angle screaming. We cut back into them just screaming.

And we do a close-up of the broken wrists and shit. Yes, my God, he just revels in this shit. There were some kids on a fucking bus that he had in mind when he filmed this scene. 100%. So then we check in with victim daughter and her dad. They're watching racist Batman's videos on YouTube. Right? Yeah.

So then we go back to the scene of the unprovoked massacre. And Interpol guy is starting to get suspicious. he's like, wait a minute, I don't think this is really his house because it has no furniture in it whatsoever. Nothing hanging on the walls, nothing in the kitchen. Wait a second here. Just a big stainless steel panic room built into the middle of his living room. Yeah, exactly. Yeah.

So yeah, they said it's not his house. They phoned up and they figure out it's registered to, it says it's registered to a Chinese lady. It's like, okay, now he's implicated a Chinese lady in all of this. In this film, she's probably an immigrant. and she's implicated his crime. She's now going to get deported from her life in Croatia. He's not. He's going to kill her.

Yeah, exactly. So, all right, but now they've got to cut into his panic room. But before they do that, we're going to cut over to Army getting ready to kidnap a judge with a syringe full of heroin. Yes. Yeah. What was the judge called, anybody? Judge Reinhold. The judge was called Judge Reinhold.

Fuck you. Judge Reinhardt. I can't think. think of Judge Reinhold without singing Mark trial with Jay Ranhold from Arrested Development every single time. But yes, every time they said this is Judge Reinhold, my head

just went, my name is Judge. Judge Manning. Every time. So, yeah, so he heroines up the judge, kidnaps him, and then he's driving him down the road, having like a long, bad guy monologue about what a terrible judge he is. In broad daylight. He syringed the guy

in broad. There were cars driving. He's right. in the courthouse. You are the worst vigilante. How did all those Interpol guys deserve to be killed? Because they couldn't find you the worst vigilante of all time. And I love that it was heroin, right? Because he's obviously, he was trying to think of knockout drug, right?

Which, by the way, you don't need to say this is heroin. You can just hit somebody in the neck with a syringe in a movie and we go, oh, yes, it's that knockout drug we're all familiar with. And then the guy will be like this the whole time. We're like, yeah, no, that's what happens when you get hit with syringen movie. But the fact that it's heroin, I'm just picturing the whole time he's doing the monologue, the guy being like, my body feels so... Yeah. So, this is great, man.

Hey, I know you're saying some crazy shit right now, but dude, I fucking... I'm fucking... It is so mad because, like, yeah, he's going to monologue to this guy about all the ways that he was such a... judge who's like let the Croatian people down. And it's his big, serious, dramatic monologue. Do that before you give the guy smack. Yeah. Because he's not going to listen.

Like, you're so, you're so bad at this. You're so bad at this. So, okay. So let me get depressing here for just a second. So this movie was inspired, according to Uibo, by a rape in Germany, right? Where four or five people raped a 14-year-old girl. And one of them was sentenced to like four years in prison. And four of them that were children that were underage got suspended sentences and the judge didn't really punish them.

Which is fucking horrible, right? So when I looked at like contemporary news about that case, everybody was comparing it to Brock Turner, right? This was a case of like rape laws being too lenient on men. Yeah. But he has transformed it in this movie into judges not wanting to like blame immigrants. for anything, right? Because the people who raped this girl were immigrants. They weren't Muslim immigrants. They were Serbian, by the way. They were immigrants from Serbia. But in his movie, he's made them Muslim immigrants from North Africa or some shit that

so that they can be maximally racist about it. Right. Right. Also, it's not like they got to, it's not like they got a medal for raping people. It's because the German system for minors is rehabilitative, right? It's not even the weird fantasy about broken laws that people have. It's just like, oh, well, we don't send children to jail for crimes in Germany. And UiBow was like, they got away with it. Yes, that's exactly right. Yeah, absolutely. Although I will say the guy who got the four years, that that seems way too fucking little.

Super small. Yes, it does. Absolutely. Yeah. But regardless, right, that's the fucking genesis of this whole movie is that he got it in his head, that they were just letting all of the evil immigrants get away with rape and murder. And so that's what he made this movie about. And so now he's going to have like this judge stand in for the judge in Germany that let that happen.

So we're basically watching, Ui just go like, and if I had that judge, you know what I would do with him as I would murder him with heroin. One of my favorite right wing canards around this story, because again, Googling everything that this movie has is the lady who called one of the rapists of pig got more jail time than he did. And it's because she got a week of jail time and he had a. Two years suspended Well, it's suspended So just two years Technically Sounds better when you put it in a lie in Twitter

And yeah, right Yeah, and specifically the right-wing version of that lie Isn't even that a lady who called him a pig Because this came up on Joe Rogan's podcast I forget who the guest was Which was a rape victim Called her rapist a pig And she went to prison for longer than the rapist.

That is the right-wing version of this lie And that isn't true Because it wasn't the victim who did that And it was actually, I think it wasn't just that she called him a pig, but that she found, she got his phone number and kept sending this, this minor at the time harassing messages. Now, the minor was a rapist. I can see why someone would feel more to it about this. It wasn't a victim. It was just a woman who started just sending abusive messages, including calling him a pig. And the judge was like, you can't do that. Like, he's still a minor. You can't do that. You're going to prison for a week. Yeah. But, and, and let me slap you on the fucking wrist with a weekend. Yeah, right. Yeah, absolutely. Okay. Do you guys want to know where I'm going to know where I'm going to prison? Yeah. But, but, but, but, but, do you guys want to know where I'm going to know. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay I found the source of that lie when I googled like gang rape woman gets more jail than rapist. Where's that? Either Elon Musk or Joe Rogan.

No, it was the Department of State official Twitter account. Oh, gosh. Oh, my God. Oh, that's even more depressing. Okay. So now the spot guys... How's it going? I mean, I guess it was either going to be there

or an article at Michael Sherman's skeptic. Yes, he was going to be one of those two. Never trust skeptic magazine. That's what I always say. It's written by Roman Polanski or something. Yeah, exactly. So, okay, so now the SWAT guys... You didn't get him for the UK one? You didn't do it. Oh, you hate to see it.

So, okay, so... I'll write you something. So the SWAT guys break into his panic room and they find his little escape hatch, which he has triggered with the bomb so that whoever opens it in his absence is also murdered. It's janitor. And it's so stupid that the special weapons and tactics team

who just had to clear it, because the room is empty of all of the corpses, of at least 30 of... their colleagues. So they've taken slowly, diligently, each of their fallen comrade's bodies out of this room and then thought, I bet if we just open this hatch, it's probably fine.

Let's all look in together. Let's all look down. Right. On three. So yeah, and then we cut back to him. He's given the judge a fucking sheeple speech, right? About how nobody, all the people are just sheep. And then, so he's got

to make an example. He has to, she just to show the judge just how sheep all the people are. So he murders the people that are in the oncoming lane. He runs a car off the race. So he's, think it's an apt metaphor, Noah.

Yes. Okay. Because he's like, people will follow the rules even if it kills them. So he swerves into this car's lane. And then they swerve out of the way so as not to hit him and explode. And he's like, see, Shebo. Yeah. Right. Instead of going back into my lane,

which would have been against the law, they drove off the side of the road and they exploded and now they're going to die. Yeah. Right. Except that at the last second you did pull back into that lane. So if they'd gone into that lane, you guys would have just crashed and a head on crash. That would have killed you both. Yeah, that would have been amazing. There's also one

other thing about this scene that I just have to point out for those of you who watch along with us and do not watch along with us. Oh, God, no. So it's just a bad filmmaking thing that the scene, there's a little bit too long of a silence before he starts his sheeple monologue. But it did make me think of just

like the car ride being a little too long and him being like, hmm, I'm thinking of a thing. Yeah, exactly that. We stay around just like it too long and he's like he's starting to make small talk.

So how are you? How's the heroin actually? It's a good idea. I didn't try it myself. I've heard the things about it. I got it from a guy who said it's good. But, you know, I,

you know. So, and also I just, one last thing I want to point out about the scene where he kills the oncoming traffic is that like, they could have just made that car just crash or just like, but he made it flip up.

flip over and explode so that we know. And explode like a goddamn, well, yeah, that those people are dead now. Car seat with an infant in it is seen burning. Yeah, right, right. So, but eventually we get the judge to the middle of nowhere destination. And he shows the judge, a video of the judge saying that each migrant gets one rape of a white lady

before they get punished or whatever their, you know, bullshit version of this is. And Ben, he goes to get some vodka from his car to like complete the ruse. He's going to try to make it seem like the judge killed himself. Yep. Which is he does a really bad job of this because A, the judge is in the passenger seat of the car.

B. He is, yeah, that's what I noticed that too. He doesn't leave an implement with which the judge would have cut his wrist. So he cut his wrist with something and then swallowed it, right? Yes. And C, he leaves his fingerprints all over every fucking thing. All over everything. Absolutely over every single thing.

Absolutely. No gloves. It's amazing. He's such a bad vigilante. Like his Inforsec, he's got no way of hiding his identity. And yet Interpol can find him. And the only thing I can think is he keeps slaughtering Interpol every time they get. Yeah.

I wanted the judge to be in the next scene with his wrist wrapped up and be like, people do that in the bathtub. I'm actually fine. It's hurt a lot. It hurts a lot. It hurts a lot. But that's not how you kill yourself regular. But I didn't feel the pain because of all the heroin he gave. Honestly, I had a great.

Can I say it was a great day? I wasn't really paying attention to Armyhammer. I was on heroin. So, okay, so now this movie's going to get to, because there's probably people who are watching or listening along at home and thinking themselves like, this movie is not as racist as you guys have made it out to be, right? I was thinking that at this point, yes. Yeah. So, okay, we're going to change your mind on that with this scene. Right.

So we cut to an Arabic family. Ui Boll has said in interviews that he had to literally go through hundreds of Muslim actors before, or Arabic actors before he could find ones that were willing to portray this family. right. Hey, wow. Yeah. Hey, Arabic actors who are willing to betray this family,

do better. Yeah, call me. If it's that, yeah, if things have gotten that bad. Yeah, just if you need the money, do anything else.

Just so you could sex work of some sort. Sure. Yeah. Together. Yes. Just make sure you ventilate the room

when the shower is on otherwise. It's a moisture situation. So, yeah. So, yeah. So the son in this family is one of the rapists that didn't get punished.

in that German thing or whatever, right? Yeah. And of course, we have to see that they're just living in the lap of luxury as fucking Muslim immigrants to Croatia so often are, right? Yeah, in quite a small apartment just having like a meal to get. Honestly, when it cuts to it, it's just like, oh, this looks like a nice family having a meal. Sure does. And he's going to interrupt and then start holding a gun, like walk in, shoot the kid and hold a gun to his dad's head

and then threaten the sister with the gun. It's like, this is the good guy. Oh my God. Now it's not for no reason because the sister didn't say she was sorry on Facebook. Right. She implied in fact that the rape victim deserved it for wearing sexy clothes because she has chronic values. Yeah. And hey, a movie, how do you how do your audience feel about Brock Turner if you're doing the whole kind of what was the victim wearing and was she asking for it? How do you guys feel about those cases? I kind of wondered if they were losing some of their audience at this moment. Yeah. And of Of course, we have to see flashes of the brutal gang rape of the teenage girl, right? Yeah, graphically so, because this movie is exploitative trash.

It's like, it's getting off on showing it is what it's doing. Yeah, absolutely. Well, yeah, he got to film it. Yeah. So, yeah, so he shames the sister and tries to like aims the gun at her. And then he goes on this monologue about how their chronic values are bullshit and they're ruining everything that's great about Europe. This is where he says

I don't think the good ones got out of your country Yes, right I don't think the good ones got out of your country I think it was the bad ones Holy fucking shit Jesus that's bad And you brought with you your archaic value system Yeah, God is wrong

He goes full Mexico is sending its rapists My notes following that statement Are writing that statement out Then writing the word yikes a roo Then writing the words It's not often I feel compelled To apologize to Marsh But here we are.

Yeah, absolutely. And the thing is as well, the next thing he says is like, you know, you people, you've got commitment to religion over democracy. It's that movie, do you really want to pick a commitment to religion over democracy? Is that a thing you want to come for? Right. Right, exactly. But yeah, he berates them from bringing their barbaric culture.

That's his words with them. And then he has the son call all of his rapist friends and invite him over. Right. He makes him do that at gunpoint. No way. podcast listener, you're thinking, because you have heard about this movie, you're like, wait, didn't he say that it was like seven or nine rapists? Wouldn't we now watch a straight up farcicle murdering people and then dragging their bodies further into the room and then greeting more

people at the door sequence in order for that to make sense? Why, yes, we will fucking, what's the guy, the wackety sacks guy, Andy something? Benny Hill. Benny Hill. It is a Benny Hill ass. Yes. You could come in, but I'm not going to murder you like I did these guys. Those guys are dead, but I'm just... These dead guys were here when I got here. And it's wild because the music will be suspenseful the whole time, but the suspense is just who's at the door.

Oh, if the rapist, pamp, pown, they're dead. And at one point, he's like hiding behind the door, like with his gun up like he's a super spy before he just shoots these kids at point blank range that he's assuming of the rapists, it might not have been them. It's just someone who came in. Vacuum cleaner salesman comes by, hey, I'm here with that. Yeah.

Hey, I'm a guy from the fourth most prominent Middle Eastern crime city. Oh, you caught me as well. But also, we should point out here that in addition to killing all the rapists as they come to the door, he also shoots the family. Yes, he chooses that. Not just the rapist son, but the sister, the mom and the dad. The mom and the dad haven't done anything that we know. Well, so the sister witnessed the rape and didn't say anything and then slut shamed the victim. The dad defended the son right there.

and the mom was that. She was in between three people that he was good. Because he's the good guy. Yeah. It's so rough when he shoots them all. Jesus fucking Christ. Yeah. Yeah. No, he shoots them and then rapists keep showing up.

And also, like, in the case that this was based on, there were only four rapists that were not punished. So, like, he added extra ones just so there could be more killing brown people. It would be a sillier pile of bodies. Yes. Yeah. So he kills seven rapists, two parents, a teenage girl. a judge, two random people in a car and more than three dozen police officers.

That is his vengeance. So, yeah. So we're up to around 50 there. And then the news tells us that he killed at least two other judges as well. Yes. Yeah. So now he murders all the rapists. And then he leaves, leaving his fingerprints, fucking everywhere again.

Everywhere. Yeah. And then we cut to the interpol guy. Now, the interpol guy was close enough when the, when everybody opened up the thing in the box and it exploded. that he also got half exploded. Yeah, he got two-faced. He's got a George Foreman print on him, yeah. Right.

So he calls up, or so he's in the hospital and he gets a call from Army Hammer pretending to be a cop, you know, until he gets him on the line. Well, yeah, he gets a call. Like his colleague gets a call, said, I'm from the state attorney's office. And that police officer must have just been like,

oh, well, story checks out. We do have a state attorney. So I will put you through straight to my boss in his hospital bed. Right. No further questions or identification required. Absolutely. Yeah.

This is why they haven't caught him. The police of shit. Right. Well, there's only like four of them left, man. Usually this guy is just on the dog. He's straight out of college. That guy was from forensics and this guy, he just worked in the paper room. Now he's teched him.

Right. So, yeah. So, but he gets on the phone and now we've got to get another goddamn UiBol manifesto monologue about how the people will rise up against the great replacement. Yes. Yes. The people will not accept. a takeover, but the movie hasn't talked about a takeover.

It's just assuming that we can put two and two together to know that the takeover is the brown people who are coming to replace the white people. Right. And even the Interpol guy says, as much as I love Europe and it's deep history, you simply cannot continue. And like, the history bit is nodding that, you know, even Interpol knows that there's a white genocide, but they just have to follow orders. And that's how craver they are.

Like, fuck you. He literally says, this is a takeover by his, by his last. Islamic extremists and the woke left. Yeah. Okay. So here's the, I love this. I love this line so goddamn much. I have to give it to you info.

So here it is, quote, because he had just been talking about, you know, the Interpol guy says, oh, but I have to stop you for the people of Croatia. And Army Hammer replies, quote, these people you speak of, they never voted for what's happening. This is an unfriendly takeover by the Islamic extremists and blindsided woke left. What does he think blindsided? Think about how many people lost their jobs for saying Charlie Kirk dying wasn't bad. And this movie is on Amazon Prime.

Oh, hon. I think we should pick up some sunglasses and some beach toys for the kids and a movie that's a direct call to action. Yes. And some Nazi propaganda. put him all in the same car and you know what will delay the shipping so the movie's free. So, okay. So now we're going to wrap with the news telling us that he's killed other judges.

And I love that even the newscaster's like, he's a terrible vigilante because he's like, they tried to make it look like suicides. But three judges died in the same week by suicide and were like, hold on a second. Wait a minute. There might only be eight people left at Interpol. Yeah, there's no way they would have thought that judge's death was a suicide. As you say, he wasn't. even in the driving seat of the car he's suicide.

So yeah, he's just bad, bad vigilante. Terrible vigilante. But also, was he known as a, he was apparently known as a vigilante before all of this was happening. But he didn't do anything until this other than those three guys in Akoido, I guess. Or is all of this time shifted and is this his origin story? I genuinely don't know. Also, what happened to Elsa?

Yes. Is nobody going to help Elsa? Right. Exactly. But the newscaster that's telling us about all this sure is happy that he murdered that rapist kid and his entire family. And then she closes with some stats, right? Like as the movie's fading out, she's like, she's listing how many immigrants have

committed crimes in Europe. And the numbers sound high until you compare them to the population of Europe. The continent? The continent was 743 million people on it minus England. I know you guys don't count anymore, but whatever. Thank you very much. 980 murders. Yes.

980 murders. One out of 16 were him. Yes. Exactly. We're calling the people. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. It's 980.

That's such an absurdly small number when you put it. Like I tried to calculate it. And my fucking calculator was like, okay, but I'm doing the E thing. And I'm like, okay. You got to turn me sideways, man. You got to turn me sideways. You got to get Wolfstrom Alpha on this racist thing. You got it.

This is a Wolfstrom job. But then the movie ends by telling us that, like, he comes back to do his direct address, and it tells us it's time for us to murder the immigrants ourselves. Yes. He said, remember, I'm doing this until you learn how to do it yourself. So he's literally telling us straight down the line to go off and do some of our own vigilante justice. Yes. Against not just immigrants, because the lady we just saw doing the news says involving immigrants from Africa. Yes.

So like, not the one that we've been root. American one that we've been rooting for this whole time. Just the African ones. Or the Serbian ones that committed the crime that inspired this goddamn movie. Yeah. It's such a direct call to violence. They don't know what race those guys are. It's incredible

that this is just freely available. Not freely available, but well, it was freely available on Twitter. It was really available. So yeah, but then the movie comes up and it's like dedicated to all the white ladies killed by all the brown people that the judges didn't fucking punish because they're part of the great replacement.

The line is literally, this film is dedicated to to thousands of rape and murder victims in Europe who were betrayed by our legal system. But only where the perpetrator wasn't white, including the lead fucking actor in this movie who is an alleged rapist who has not been brought to justice. I wanted the white text to come up and be like,

except for Army Hammers victims. We don't mean them. They were jealous. They were European. We didn't dedicate it to the American raped ladies. Let me check his mom's book. Okay, so they were jealous. Oh, okay.

All right. Well, the only good thing I can say about that one is that it's over. Marsh, thank you so much for suffering through that one. I hope you don't wind up on a list for having... Actually, I hope you do wind up on a list for watching it because that means there's a list for people who watch this fucking movie. And it's fine. When I end up in a list like that, I'm always on the list for a good reason. It's fine.

Any kind of bad list, I'm there going like, oh, we'll include Michael Marshall for the one pointing out how bad this thing was. It's fine. Just on a telegram. I don't like it here. And of course, if you want to hear more from Marsh, be sure check out the No Rogan Experience and Skeptics with a K, which you will find linked on the show notes. And while that does it for our review,

a citizen vigilante, that's not going to do it for the episode just yet, because we still need to watch something else that has to be better because that's the only possible thing next week. So Eli, tell us what's on deck. All right. Now, Noah, I know I owe you one based on this week. So let me hit you

with a couple of names. Kevin Sorbo. Dean Cain. And now let me give you a description. You ready for this? In a world, shattered by pandemics, war and natural disasters, a small group of survivors takes refuge inside an abandoned fort, transforming it into a final stronghold of hope, faith, and resistance.

But safety is an illusion as their community grows. So do the dangers. Secrets rise. Trust is tested. And the growing darkness threatens to destroy everything from within. What was once a sanctuary becomes a battleground

for truth, belief, and survival itself. We'll be watching The Fort. Okay, then. So with The Fort to look forward to we're going to bring episode 565 to a merciful close.

Once again, a huge thanks to Marsh for helping out today and an equally huge thanks to all the Patreon owners that help make the show go. If you'd like to count yourself among their ranks, you can make a per episode donation at patreon.com.

Got off on there by earn early access to an ad-free version of every episode. You can also help a ton by leaving a five-star review and by sharing the show on all your various social media platforms and if you enjoyed this show

be sure check out our sibling shows the scathing a citation needed D&D minus and the scrap to grab available wherever podcast live. If you have questions, comments or cinematic suggestions you can email Godolphin movies

at GML.com Tim Robertson takes care of our social media. Our theme song was written and performed by Ryan Slottick of Evil Drafts on Mars. All the other music was written and performed by our audio engineer Morgan Clark and was used with permission. Thanks again for giving us

a chunk of your life this week and Eli Bostick. I'm no illusions promise to work hard to earn another chunk next week. Until then, we'll leave you with the American Graffiti Club. unable to recruit replacements for all the massacred police officers due to corporate tax evasion crime rates in Croatia skyrocketed.

Sure, sure. Huey Ball thinks there's going to be a sequel. The lines of this movie would not be the most regrettable things Army Hammer would ever say. Nope. Somehow. I went quick on my seconds, Morgan, because I want this to be over. over with. It's just that kind of movie.

You sound like the hooker Army Hammer has to like this movie. No, that's his actual argument. Yes. Is there like seven separate women were jealous? And so they all accused him of the same kind of rape and abuse. Well, and the thing is, is that what they're accusing of him of primarily is just so uniquely weird and just, yeah. Yeah, it's like, it's like definitely fucking dead it.

Right. Yeah. And then they were like, oh, but what about the text messages where you were like, I'm going to beat you up and eat you? And he was like, oh, yeah, I sent those. But, um, yeah, his text message says, I am 100% a cannibal. That is a direct quote from the text messages. Yeah. Ah.

It's a tough one. It's hard to walk that one back. It's hard to walk that one. I'm, I'm, but I'm also 100% an ally. Ethical cannibalism is what it is. Yeah, consensual. Have you remember? my friend Richard Dawkins, my good friend Richard Dawkins.

He's here to tell you. All right. Mint Mobile. Sorry, I started with a, I forgot that I was doing an accent there. I went in Scottish. I think you ended Asian problematic. Yeah. You definitely toured through problematic.

When it all comes crumbling down, know that it started with that. Interstitial two. Cudoris vigilante. Oh, wow. No way. Yes, he's been taking down the evil. men we can and will not with righteous fury.

Oh, that's crazy. Yes, you must tell me what he looked like. Oh, okay. He had a beard. I can't be so fucking funny. I'm sorry. Let me take it back.

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