God Awful Movies - 578: The Conjuring

Episode Date: October 13, 2026

This week, Lydia and Thomas Smith from the Where There's Woke podcast join us to break down a movie that horror lovers assure us -- against all evidence -- is a modern masterpiece. The Conjuring is a film that launched a nearly MCU-level franchise worth nearly three billion dollars, all of which launders the historical reputation of some very unsavory grifters. But there's jump scares.Hear more from Thomas and Lydia on Where There’s Woke and Gavel GavelCheck out more from Thomas on Opening ArgumentsIf you’d like to make a per episode donation and get monthly bonus episodes, please check us out on Patreon: http://patreon.com/godawfulCheck out our other shows, The Scathing Atheist, The Skepticrat, Citation Needed, and D&D Minus.Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars. If you’d like to hear more, check out their Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/Report instances of harassment or abuse connected to this show to the Creator Accountability Network here: https://creatoraccountabilitynetwork.org/

And he's like, well, why don't you just destroy all this stuff? He's like, well, then the monsters would escape, dumbass. That's a stupid question. Doesn't make any sense, idiot. Which, to be clear, implies that there are about 87 demonic entities from hell. Tracks. Hanging out in Ed Horace. Painting of the dogs playing poker.

Yeah. Right. Hey, hey, you guys hate God? me too God awful movie movie Welcome back to the game cast

Where each week we sample another selection From Christian cinema Some weeks less than others I will admit I'm your host No Illusions Heath is off this week Passing 900 miles to my northeast Is my bad friend Eli

Pawsnik Eli How are you this fine afternoon sir Um God brought them together Noah This is a less than others It's a more religion if you think about it. Well, it's plenty of bullshit.

God brought his friends. The devil. No, that's true. And we're also excited to welcome back to guest masochists of varying veteran status, but both veterans at this point. Thomas and Lydia from the Where There's Woke podcast. Lydia Thomas, welcome back.

Hello. I am here under duress. I watch the great ADHD ADHD myth and I am ready to talk about it. I can't wait. No, I can't think about it. do that joke, but the idea that Eli had me do that one, but I was going to be late.

So then he also had me do this one. It was my ADHD that caused it, that's proving that it didn't work. Yeah, there is. I couldn't find the actual punchline, but it's good. Somewhere in there, someone make a punchline for me. I like the concept. I like the concept. We'll revisit it. When AI recreates this. This is just the workshopping video, right? We're not live, right?

No. It's just us coming up. When we're gone and the AI on demand podcast using all of our picture and video and sound, and people get to choose their own episode, they'll all be like, you know, super chatting to give you that punchline. It's going to be great. We'll finally be funny then. Yeah.

There won't be any fresh water. Which will be a bummer. You won't be funny for anyone. But you'll be so dehydrated. We'll seem funny. Just out of it, you know. From inside his ketamine tank, Elon will be like, ha ha.

So, Morgan, I apologize. I've never lost control earlier. But I'm going to steer us back on the script here. So tell us, Lydia. What will we be breaking down today? The conjuring, the original, 2013, the beginning of the Ed and Lorraine Warren film series. And Eli made me watch this, and I'm very upset about it. I'm very upset about it.

Truly, you could have sent her that dick pick you threatened. I would have preferred that. Yeah, yeah. That's a reference to other shows. You can't stop watching. And Eli, how bad was this dick pick? I mean this movie. Well, if you love the psychic chicanery of the Warrens,

but you want to take it back to its roots of lying about bumps in a house that one time, you will love this movie. It's so funny because we had a bunch of listeners that wrote to me and were like, I think this one might be too good for you guys. This is like a modern masterpiece. It's actually a really good movie. And I was nervous going into it. And then I watched the movie.

I'm like, what the fuck are you talking about? Take me back to the apple. Take me back to the apple. I want to watch that. Ben, baby. I thought it out too. I was like, man, I want to do that one. Can we should do that again?

That's the thing about being in an abusive relationship with me, you got to get a little, if I don't, if it's just, yeah, exactly. If it's nothing but bin. All right. God, that was the best.

So is there anything you just want to nominate this from for being the best, it being the worst at? I'll just go real quick. I'm going to say best, best worst title. What was content? Oh, literally nothing. What was conjured besides the mythology of their bullshit life, their entire grift.

Yeah. Is it for the grift? If it's the grift, I like the title. We conjured out of the entire grift. All right. I'm going to say best, worst number of doors in a house because I just got so sick of it. Too many doors. She opens at one point she opens a door and there's another door back there.

You're like, oh, fuck you. Come on. It's constant. How much MP do these ghosts have? Like, how much are they using a door? on each door and how are they able? Right. So, and okay, I have best worst, I-M-D-B trivia trying to convince me this movie is haunted, okay?

So I read through this shit and it's got, that's a pretty common trope to try to advertise a movie by saying, oh, you know, there were a lot of demonic experiences when we were filming and, you know, so, but they're so pathetic. They're so sadly, like one of them is the director, well, his dog, while he was working on the script, like started barking at something that was not there. Oh, my God. No.

You didn't tell me that. Yeah. Which is like just inches away from when my dog gets excited, his tail thrashes back and forth. Yeah, I don't, I've never heard a dog bark in a non-ghosts. Right, exactly. It's always ghost-related. And then there's one that like somebody had a blood disease while they were filming the movie. Yeah.

And then it went away. And then it was gone when they finished filming. Because that's how long it takes for that blood disease to go away. But my favorite was that when the real life Peron family, the family that this is based on, when they visited the set, it said that a gust of gust of wind blew through. No way. That's it. Oxygen. That was moving. I've never heard of wind.

It's because you have too many doors and you let them open. That's why. Close the doors. It actually took them from the 70s when this book was written until the movie was wrapping to make it out of their house through all the doors. Yeah, exactly. It just took so long. I'm going to go with best, best length of movie. And my co-hosts are sitting there going, Eli, what are you talking about? This was painful hour and 45 minutes.

Let me explain. Step behind the curtain podcast listener. So when we're watching a horror movie, we're just a fucking movie and there's a boring walk through the house to see if there's a thing sequence. I move my speed to 4x because I don't need to watch someone wonder if that knock they heard was at the bottom of the stairs in regular time to give you the comedy product you so deserve.

which means that watching this movie for me took, I shit you not, 50 minutes. This is a not very special episode of everybody loves Raymond. For me, it's what I got to watch. So much just wandering around the house going, I wonder if there's a jump scare around this corner. Maybe that was my problem. Here's what I'm going to do.

I know these movies make a lot of money, so we are going to really need crazy trillionaire money to buy the rights. but when I buy the rights, I am just going to sink in reality show interviews with the demons, where the demons like, I mean, I was at the bottom of the stairs for like, I'm not kidding, 10 men.

I just don't know. Every door and there's so many doors. It's the wardrobe. It's the wardrobe. It's the wardrobe. It's so obvious. I would not be the wardrobe. It's the haunted thing in your fucking house. It's furniture with doors too.

It's more doors. Can I do the video game thing where I make it like a little bit of a wardrobe? different colors. As you can see where you're supposed to go? Yeah, the L1 button. Yellow. Yeah.

Or something. Oh, my God. I don't want to cry on camera, but like I have been in the wardrobe literally every time. And I don't, I don't know what I need to be doing. I don't know. Clapping for them and everything. Yeah. It just wouldn't come to me.

Well, I'm in the wardrobe. Before we start talking about spooky shit, I'm going to need to grab my security blanket. So we're going to take a quick break. And then we'll be back with all the spookularity that is the conjuring. Okay, everyone, welcome to the first ever writer's room meeting for The Conjury. Hooray! So now this is the first and what we hope is going to be a series of movies about the warrants. I hope we make ten.

Well, no, Claire, ten is obviously way too many. I like ten. I think eleven actually sounds good to me. Okay, well, then I guess we're really going to have to stretch out our content then. So what story are we going to start with here? We were going to start with the parent family. Okay, you know, is that the family who had at least one mentally ill child and a bunch of mysterious bruises? Yeah, that's them.

Okay, right. And we, the writers who live in real reality are all aware that mysterious bruises are just abuse. They're trying to keep hidden, right? Yeah, we're aware of that. I'm an adult, yes. Cool. Okay. And where do we want to take this?

I was thinking we could say that at least one of the women murdered in the Salem witch trials deserved it and then defile the legacy of a random lady. Got it, got it. Yeah. And for clarity, are we illegally allowed to just make up names? Oh, yeah, yeah, of course.

Okay. All right, so we don't have to make up lies about actual people who lived, which will result in the desecration of their graves so extensively and thoroughly that the city has to pay for their protection, right? No, no, we do not. Okay.

Awesome. Well, this all sounds great. Totally. 15 movies. What the fuck is wrong with you, Claire? Hi, I'm Lydia Smith, recently emancipated woman on the move. If you listen to my shows, you know that I've never been better, stronger or more alive. Oh, and Remy threw up on the dog again.

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I can fly. And so can your wireless service? We should probably just move at this point again for the fourth time. Fucking Remy. And we're back for the breakdown and we're going to open up on a production logo that's trying to scare me before the movie even starts. Yeah.

I wrote literally an opening logo pop scare and I would also officially like to predict that Lydia jumped at the opening shot of the doll. How'd I get? You know, Lydia didn't jump a ton at this one. She mainly was just disgusted. Yeah, she was just like, she'd see the doll and she'd be like, no, no.

God, I think I didn't jump scare because I just tried to look at my computer for the vast majority of the movie taking notes. So most of my notes are in all caps. Stop what is happening. Make this go away. But seriously, you shouldn't have seen her. Lydia with the doll is so funny. She's just like, no, no, no. I hate it.

I hate it so much. So you're excited for Annabelle and Annabelle 2, which we'll be doing as a two episode tacular? Obviously. So, yeah, but we open on the doll. We open on this fucking weird-house-looking doll that looks like it's been beat up like John Wick. And why is this doll? Like, why does it look like that?

And why is it doing in the movie? Who would get that doll? Someone just had a spare doll that was like that for some reason. Yeah, I don't get it. I need to be clear that if you told me, hey, Eli, it's me, God of the universe. All the souls of all the victims of the Holocaust are in this doll.

And they're going to be totally chill in the corner. I'd be like, ah, I'm so sorry. My dog. Can't do it. I am just a pass on this one, but bibbidi-bobbidi-boo, sorry how it happened. Yeah, yeah. But so that now we've got Ed and Lorraine Warren, the real-life Ghostbusters, just fucking grifters, pieces of shit that we'll talk about as the movie goes on.

But they're getting the testimony of the people who they got this haunted doll from. Now, in real life, the haunted doll is a raggedy and doll. It'll be super clear very early on why they couldn't just use. I mean, I'm sure there's like a copy. copyright reason why they couldn't use a raggedy end all, but also it wouldn't a fuck it works. It becomes a comedy. It's so silly. It's so silly when you consider.

Yeah, you know it's funny is how the ghosts always respect copyright protection. Yeah. Is that funny? They're never like, oh, it's in my Buzz Light and your toy. No, sorry, I can't do that. I don't haunt Pepsi. I'm actually cool. The mouse is very litigious.

I don't fuck with Disney. I don't fuck with the mouse. I don't want to pour who. No way. That's what you got to fucking do. Just get a bunch of Disney figurines around your house. And the devil's like, no, those motherfuckers. I'm not made of money.

All inhabit that crucifix, but I'm not going in the hand. But what we learned here is that these people were tricked by an evil demon into letting the demon live in their creepy doll. So stupid. So these two nurses, these two nurses, they found the doll and then a different psychic told them. Why? Well, because theirs, to be fair, theirs was a raggedy. and doll. I don't know why these fucking nurses. Exactly. It makes it insane.

That is a big difference. When you're like oh, found a cute doll, I'll keep it versus oh, found something that's literally designed to be the most more fun of a living in the world. It looks like Howdy Duty was doing drag and then got hate crimes and they kept it. Yeah. But

of course, once they let the demon into the doll, the doll started acting up and she would like trash the room and leave creepy notes that said, miss me on the floor. What was funny though? They set it up like it was going to be a roommate situation. They're like not conscious of it. They're like, yeah, she's going to, you know, we decide

she could hang out there. And then they're mad when the doll, like, wants to hang out. Like, what did you think was going to happen? Look, I don't claim to be a particularly brave man. But if I brought a demon into my house and it drew in crann on my walls,

I would exercise it simply by the amount of roasting I would do in that moment. I'd be like, I'm sorry, you just proved that God is real to me and you did it by doing something my six year old does every time he's psyched to

watch Enkonto Lydia and I had the same exact reaction to this first scene where they go up into a spooky spooky room and it's all written in crayon. I was like oh so the worst haunting in the world is just an average day with Remin. Yeah, yeah. Our walls look like this.

I want to see him. I want to see him getting his ribbing when he gets back to hell and they're like with the fucking crayon. Man, come on. Hey, everybody. Cran guys here. They'll throw him in the trash because he'll come back. Just one color? Make it look good. Yeah, right. Yeah, exactly. Stay in the lines.

Dumbass. But yeah. But so they throw them into, they throw the doll in the trash, but then that. Which makes no sense because like the doll has already shown that she can open doors, right? Like she's already walked through everything. So why in the world would she not be able to get out of a dumpster, which is just a horizontal door? That's all it is. Absolutely. At least put her in a dumpster across town or something. but no, they put it right outside. So then that morning she's fucking cop knocking on the door, right? And they're like, let's open that door.

Well, eventually, eventually. Wonder who that is. Yeah. I know it's a horror movie, so like walking slowly down a hall to check a knock is obviously something for dramatic effect. But in a real universe where someone's waiting, that's just rude, right? Yeah. That person was just like, were you creeping down the hallway?

The image that the doll was going to be like standing there tapping its foot. Yeah. Come on. They realize, I guess, that that's too silly. So instead, when she opens the door, there's just a miss-me note. And then there's a knock from the closet. And that's where the doll was the whole time.

But again, if you picture that, even in a presence of demonic magic, that's funny as shit. Because I just walk in the room and I go, hey, did you write a note, leave it outside, and then even magically fucking army crawl into here to try to scare me

because it's the eighth funniest thing. that has ever happened. Do you want to fist fight children's doll? Yeah, right. I know, they always do stuff like put it in a garbage can rather than I would just pulverize it like to dust.

Can I say something brave? Please do. I feel like nobody... You're going to fuck that doll. I feel like nobody tries. I wasn't going to make it the doll, but I feel like nobody tries jerking off on haunted objects.

and I feel like the eighth or ninth time in a single day that I busted a load on a haunted music box. On Annabelle's face. Like, it's not like the ghost or demon.

I'm making it a music box so that they don't have to think about the little girl imagery. So make it the samurai, make it the adult samurai costume you'll see later. I think the 27th time I bust on the samurai's eyebrows,

whatever demon is inside him is like, you know what? Fuck it, man. Fuck it fine. I'm done. You're the demon, bro. Just imagine animal being like, oh, again. Oh, my God.

Hurry out. Yeah, right. Like, there's no bang you're going to do later that night that I'm not going to be like, oh, did you knock over at Wardrobe? You opened a door. You remembered that I used one side of your head and then a pill. You know what? We'll talk about it later.

Again, you got a picture of a samurai costume and it's fun. Picture the samurai costume. You're legally obligated to picture the samurai costume. So the warrants, so we cut back out of this flashback and the warrants are like, yeah, we'll take this scary, raggedy and doll off your hand. And there's a moment where you think they're going to try to be reasonable, but they're not. They're actually ramping up to crazy. They're like, no, there was no ghost.

That was a fucking demon monster doll. To be clear, you gave it permission to infect your lives. Is con man speak for this is your fault? It is, however, wildly dangerous when you're dealing with the mentally ill, which if someone tells you that they have a ghost in there, house, you almost certainly are. Yeah. Very what were you wearing when the ghost possessed the doll there?

Yeah. Yeah. In response, yeah. So, okay, so then we flash back and we go to fucking Ed's demon rasseling class, right? They're teaching a class on how to exercise demons. And at the end of the class, they're like, all right, anybody have any questions that we can use to speed exposit? Okay.

The kid goes, where's the doll now? And he goes, someplace safe. Somewhere in a place where Eli can't get to it. I wanted so badly for someone else to raise their hand and go, hey, that's the craziest possible answer. Did you put a demon in witness protection? What's happening? You have to tell me everything.

And then we get this fucking Star Wars crawl that is so full of shit, Ellie Sadler is checking it for West Indian lilac berries. Okay. This is the part where it's like, since the 1960s, Ed and Lorraine Warren have been known as the world's most renowned paranormal investigators. Okay, so not only are they the least

renowned paranormal investigators, they are the least renowned people on earth, right? At least when they were on earth, it says Lorraine is a gifted clairvoyant. Yeah. And then they try to come up with something to say about Ed, he does nothing. And Ed's, I mean, he's the back, he's the gloom.

Allegedly had a relationship with a 15 year old. Oh, that's right. Yeah. Yeah. Yes. 15-year-old came on him and lived with them for four decades. So that's cool. But by the time she was done living there, she was like, old. Yeah. There's only grooming if you think about it. Exactly.

Yeah. Getting her ready. And then it's like, Ed is so legit that he's recognized by the Catholic Church. And I'm like, oh, yeah, they're very specific on who they consider legit. But only for the raping. Yeah. Also, one of the first things that comes up when you Google, this is an old Bill Donoghue.

Is it Bill Donoghue? Yeah, I think that's right. It sounds right. Is an old Bill Donahue blog of him being like, wait, the dog, block, and that's not exactly what I envision. Yep. But then, Mom Donnie! There's a teenager named Mum Donnie somewhere, and I'm mad about him. It's okay. So then we settle in on our haunted house in Rhode Island in 1971,

where a family arrives bucolicly. singing John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt which classic I mean our kids sing that randomly I don't know why but they do If you guys ever move into an old house

in New England it is going to be haunted though just based on your family dynamics I think that's true But all the kids are excited except snarky teen daughter who there's no reason for this She does we never resolve this in any way

But at any rate Do you think they watched the movie and she was like, hey, why's my character an asshole? Yeah. She's the only one, like in real life, who tried to capitalize on this stuff too, though, because she wrote a book. And she said that the movie is 95% fiction, 5% truth.

And Lorraine Wilson, or Lorraine Warren, said that this is pretty much all truth. Yeah. Yeah, there was a house. I did have sisters, yeah. But, of course, the dog, though, because, you know, dogs can just smell ghost shit. So the dog doesn't want to go in.

We don't deserve dogs. Yeah. I love it. The dog doesn't go in. It barks. And then, but I like that the dogs find that they're going to die. Like, you can fucking knock yourselves out, man. There's come all over that ghost.

No, my circus, not my money. The dog felt about going into this movie the way Lydia did, which is like, yeah. Yeah. Exactly. You go out of here. No, thanks. No thanks. So, but we get this very awesome tracking shot as they're moving in, this big long shot that

eventually resolves on. But the best song. Oh, what song was it? The zombies. Okay. What is it? If you say so. Dun, dun, da, the sound of the season.

Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, I love that song. Yeah. Not one that I recognized, but at the end, the sister, one of the little sisters finds a haunted music box just covered in Eli's come out by the river. Right. They have the black light, guys. They use the black light. That's what did they find.

That's how you find haunted stuff. It's just my outline against the wall. It's just the dolls outlining it's the locuses. You don't think I can come to that much? Fuck you, Lydia. Turn off the goddamn camera. I really don't think I would be susceptible to any hauntings because I don't like keep stuff like this. Like I would see this and be like I'm in the trash.

Goodwill. Get rid of it. I don't want anything. I don't want anything in my house ever. Oh, it's like I wrote my notes here. I'm like, look, Cindy, I found a haunted totem. Yeah. So but then we cut to that night and they're playing hide and clap, which is like hide and seek.

You have to. And blindfolded. Yes. In your new house. This made me so mad. I was like, you're not, you're not safe. You're not. Exactly.

They start on the second fucking floor. Yeah, exactly. Jesus Christ. Walking through this old house that I'd never been in upstairs. Lyingfold. And fall and die. Like there's no way. It's fucking stupid.

Boxes everywhere still. Yeah. But the way this game works is that you're blindfolded and you've got to walk around and three times you can call for the people you're looking for to clap. And you have to try to find them. just based on the claps, right? That's going to come back over and over again in the movie, right? Mm-hmm.

But in this instance, the only thing that happens is that one little girl where she's trying to duck out of the way breaks a hole in the closet and finds a secret basement that's been sealed off all these years. Because her sister chooses to find her with a fucking mean Joe green flying. Oh, that's true. Hide and clap and fucking take you down. This is when I started writing my I hate this. all caps notes because it's like it's blocked off for a reason. Why are you taking off the wood

from like just leave it be? I'll say this about being a sloppy piece of shit who never fixes anything in his house. I'll never discover a secret room full of demon stuff. There is no I cannot describe the speed with which I'd have been like Ford goes back. Not my not my problem. I made the joke so many times about the you and the cabinets. You'll never know if there's a ghost. I'll never know. I just walk in every room. Cabinness closed. I don't know. One right of the other. So, yeah, but so dad goes downstairs to explore this secret creepy basement. Now, he uses matches.

Yeah. Because they don't have, they didn't have candle technology in the 70s. Not in the 70s, not yet. They had flashlights back. They sure the fuck did. Yeah, you had a, my dad had like a lantern that like a real one still in the 80s and 90s. Ebenezer Scrooge had a lantern. I meant like even if you didn't have an electric flashlight, you had something.

Yeah. And then he burns to his finger and he goes, oh yeah, fire. This works like that. Yeah. Well, not before the match lasts a minute. A minute and that's how matches were. You just hold it and just fucking loomose.

Well, they were asbestos lined in the 70s. They were better stronger. Oh, my gosh. But yeah, he's like, you know, wow, I wonder what kind of evil darkness was sequestered down there. And then they leave, right? So now that that's open. And it's the guy from office space, which is so funny.

I mean, it's just like the whole time I expected him to do something funny. but he's just he's just a guy He's just a guy So okay So that night The kids are all in bed But the dog is barking

At the ghosts from outside Hey Hey Hey You guys know there's ghosts in there Right This is like a shit ton of ghosts In there

It's actually It's gonna be a silly amount of ghosts Even if you were afraid of ghosts It's a silly amount But also like spoiler It's not safe outside either No it's not Yeah

Might well have been inside Don't go to where the dog's barking either Yeah Now we're safe. So the wife is like, hey, you want to fuck or what? So they fuck. But then she wakes up the next morning and she's got a bruise on her leg. And I'm like, well, I got serious fucking going.

One of those nights, hey, girl? She's going to obviously start having bruises. But they are comically huge. They're not like, oh, I have a, oh, I guess I can be suspicious, but kind of move on. This is like you got hit by a truck. You're not going to be like, oh, I'll just move on from that. When I was juggling bowling bowling. the other day.

Yeah. Right. Medical emergency. You didn't bump your leg on the dishwasher that was left open. Like, that's... Well, and then there's this great moment where she's walking down the stairs

that every kid has to like warn her about a different demonic thing. They're like, hey, the room's full of flies. Hey, your sister's head keeps turning around. Hey, everybody's projectile vomiting in here. I'm sure. It'll be fine. Yeah, exactly.

Can I just say, like, shout out really fast for the mom before she goes insane, but she's so nice and patient at the beginning of this movie. She has five daughters. They just moved. And she's like, like so patient and understanding and just has like a good attitude about everything.

Even about having sex with her husband the night before. Like she's just like premier mom. Like she's perfect. Yeah. Yeah. But she doesn't have any like, she's not concerned with the smells of rotting meat or the flies or whatever. But she is concerned that the clock has stopped at 307. Yeah.

Weird. Which isn't weird. the first time you fucking see it. But anyway. Yeah. Yeah. But she finds her husband, Roger. He's down in the creepy basement.

Right? She comes down and plays three creepy notes on the old piano. The ghost will later play the same three notes, except that kind of shit. They could have done something better if they were interesting notes. But she just descends and goes, da, no, like. Yeah. Have it be specific so that it's more of a callback. Right.

I probably suck. Like, I'm scared of everything. But, like, I would just see the cobwebs down there and be like, No, I'm not touching anything. It starts with the cobwebs and I'm out. I'm out. You know how many cobs must be down there and create those webs? There's an amazing moment here where she's like,

oh, you know, it's really cold upstairs. There's all these cold ghost spots. Can you get that furnace going? And then I'm like, wait a minute. I'm sorry, hold on. The furnace was in the boarded up basement you didn't know about. Yeah. We thought it was heated through magic.

Right. Yeah. I feel like you need to get to that from time to time. It's a pretty crucial, like, house things that you'd have, the inspection, you know, like, yeah. Here's the thing, though. I was not alive in the 70s. They said that they bought this in a bank auction, but I feel like there would still be disclosures that would be, like, required, don't you think? The basements boarded up and the furnaces down there.

Yeah. Yeah. There is an IMDB note that says that back then you didn't have to tell people if there were ghost murderers in your house and shit. Okay. So that's one thing. Crimes and shit, yeah. So, yeah. So the little girl, the youngest girl's name is April.

Hi, April. Sorry, sorry, our favorite listeners. Is that our April? Honestly, it explains a lot. No, it's not. It's not. Yeah, that April died in 2017. Aw.

From an accidental. Or April? No, not our April. Our April is alive and well. But, yes. You've seen her since 2017. You met her since 2017. It could have been a ghost thing.

So, but she says to, mom says to the little April, go, go get the dog now. I'm sure she's not been murdered by a ghost monster. But the dog's been murdered by a ghost monster. Yeah, what is this? Does anyone know? Is it supposed to be the same as the birds later? Like did the dog? I guess ran into the house really hurt. I don't get it. It doesn't make any sense.

Well, there's that one pigeon that later dies, but it's like writhing. It's not that it ran into the house. And it's in the exact same spot where Sadie was murdered. No, no, no. No, it's like riving. Well, but I think it's still supposed to have because there's like a big wacky sound right before that too. Yeah, it's like a head injury might make a bird do that. But yeah, there's not a lot of consistency.

Maybe it was different ghosts getting dogs. Like one ghost handles dogs and a different ghost handles birds. Maybe that was just a neighbor who was like, I'm tired of this fucking dog barking. That would be our neighbor. I was thinking about that. Actually, when Sadie was barking, I was like, oh, my God, our neighbors would have gone off the charts. I was like, this good thing is in the country where no one is. Right.

They leave their dogs outside for months there. Do you think the ghost that killed the dog came back and was like, guys, I killed their dog. And the other ghosts were like, whoa. Too far. What a dick. What a dick. Dude, we're trying to send people to hell. What the fuck is that for?

That's nothing. So then we cut to the Warren's house in Connecticut. We get Ed showing a reporter around his ghost basement of demon shit. Why would you keep all this? Well, so that he can sell it later, right? So that he can open a museum and charge people to see it. The amount of bullshit that goes into this. Because this room is loaded to the fucking gills with stuff.

You know, like the idea. Well, we've got a case over here and a case over there and a case. Yeah, sure, sure, man. You've done 20,000 different fucking ghost cases that all had an interesting object that you kept, I'm sure. Well, and none of these ghosts are just, because you figure you just have a row of dolls, right? Like a lot of demons with two dolls, but no, it's different shit the whole time, man. You have, like, different sections for the different, like, ghost archetypes, you know? Yeah, there's a doll ones.

Here's the goat. That's one Eli fucked. Yeah, no, that was interesting. That whole wall is this ghost that Eli. The journalist is like, you know, isn't this dangerous? He's like, no, no, we have a priest that comes by and it blesses the room. We have a cleaning lady. Yes.

We also have a child in the house. So, like, I don't feel like you're taking a lot of risk. I don't know. Because of the priests or because of the haunted shit. Well, both, I guess. That's a fair point. Yeah. And he's like, well, why don't you just destroy all this stuff?

He's like, well, then the monsters would escape, dumbass. That's a stupid question. Doesn't make any sense, idiot. Which, to be clear, implies that. that there are about 87 demonic entities from hell hanging out in Ed Horace. Painting of the dogs playing poker. Hey, hey, you guys hate God?

Me too. And thinking of a thing. And then there's this moment where like his daughter sneaks into the room. Let's put on a play. I'd be into that, actually. Yeah, right. That's a scary movie I'd watch.

All the demons get together like the, like, Beauty and the Beast or whatever and do a bicycle number. Yeah, yeah. But then, so there's this moment where, like, his daughter, the Ed Warren's daughter, sneaks into the room and he's like, you can't come in here. The demons will get you. And I'm like, all right, man, I know it's all bullshit. But, like, if you're pretending that this is real and you just left your fucking door wide open, knowing that your kids in the house and that she can get fucking possessed by demons.

Yeah, or just be scarred for life by thinking that there's a ghost. Well, right. Even if it's fake, it still sucks. Or even just looking at Annabel. Like, that is a freaking scary doll. I hate that. Yeah.

Yeah. So now we've got Ed and Lorraine. They're doing a postmortem on the interview. And he says, oh, I think this guy might not make fun of us. And I'm like, mm, doesn't seem like a very good journalist then. Yeah. And she's like, not a skeptic, huh?

Finally. Yeah. Right. She literally says something like that. She goes, ooh, a non-sceptic. We know. Yeah. We call those people gullible, actually.

Yeah. For non-sceptic. What was the stop blaming yourself thing? Ooh, oh. Okay, so I went deep into the lore of the conjuring movies because I was like, I don't remember this. Keep my, we've watched them all weird out of order. So according to Wikipedia.

It's the exorcism, wasn't? It's in this movie. Yes, but well, no, but see, we only get a little taste of it in this movie. You got to earn it. You got to earn it by watching all 10 conjuring movies before you really are up on this. Oh, God. So what they're teasing in this conversation here

that we'll explore later in the other nine movies, which Lydia has already agreed to guest on, is that apparently during one exorcism, this is part of her story, this is in actually the book that they sold the movie rights to and then resold the movie rights to to make this movie. Apparently during an exorcism,

Lorraine made eye contact and saw hell. And so this is the first teaser of like, are you still upset about the time you saw the internal damnation of the damned? and she's like, yeah, it was yucky. Yeah. Yeah, it's like this old argument they keep having.

Oh, yeah. You're still on that? Yeah, I'm still on the back and I saw hell. He's still mad about hell? You mad about me leaving the door open to hell again? God, I thought I closed it, okay? Do you know, it would have helped that is having a pair of sunglasses. You know, a consistent place where you could always spend.

Oh, gosh. Todd's wife just doesn't look at hell when it opens. He was just saying that the other, yeah. I'm on your side, but like he was saying. I said to him, Todd, not cool. She's glowing, right? But all we do at this point is we tease that something bad happened to her the last time they were on a job. He doesn't want her coming back.

Okay. So now we cut back to the Peron family and we like slowly zoom in on cranky daughter being shocked away. Or I guess this is a different daughter being shocked away by something pulling on her foot. Yeah, this is Joey King, by the way. You know, I will say, jokes aside, there was, I don't know horrible. movies. So if this is all derivative crap, then this is all derivative crap. But there was some cool, cool spooks in here, cool haunts. I get why people would like it. I want to say the director for this is the director, like, and actually the story creator for Saw. And he also did Insidious,

which was a Patrick, Patrick Wilson movie too, right before this one. Which a lot of people would confuse with this. Yeah. Yeah. And he produces tons of horror movies. Like he's considered like, like, a really, really good get. I think a lot of the reason that this movie is, was so boring for me is because there are so many other movies that have tropefied a lot of the stuff from it or I'm wrong in this movie is just all tropes but I you know yeah you all need to look into Uncle Mark's filmography get in getting on some fucking people under the stairs oh that's a great movie what I what I lament about this is I actually think it could have been a pretty cool movie if you didn't have the fucking stupid

religious grifter crap in it right you came up with a unique story that was like you know it's kind of a cool setup like there's a reason that I think this resonated and they're Griff worked is like she's the clairvoyant and he's the whatever fucking exorcist, yeah. He's the man. He just does man stuff. The penis haver. He loosens jars or whatever. Yeah, exactly.

Jerks off on the music box. I'm telling you it would work. You're not putting yourself. If you're mad, you're not putting yourself in the mindset of a demon who's had the 97 load busted on your music box. You're going back to hell. The music box belonged to a small boy, didn't it?

In this? God damn. Samurai suit. It's a samurai suit. To a grown man samurai. A straight man. All right. So we get the little girl and she's waking up and she's smelling fart smells or something because that's what demons smell like or something.

Just fart a lot. Yeah. A lot. I love the idea that this is just somebody denying their fart so hard they brought in a paranormal investigator. Oh, I was going to say, what if that's actually not a demon thing but just that demon? And the other demon is like, fuck. God, do you mint or deodorant or some both? Like, that doesn't have to be part of it.

I'm an IBS survivor. Just you guys know. Three out of five of them. Well, not survivors. I'm dead. I didn't die of the IBS, though. I survived that. I survived that.

But now we've got the first of our many walking around looking for the jump scare scenes, right? Like, dad wakes up and there's some, the TV's on static, and he goes to turn it off, and he just wanders all over the fucking house looking for it. And then there's just nothing, right? Like this eventually resolves with the daughter, the sleepwalking daughter, like banging her head into a mirror or whatever. But there's no point in him walking around for all this time.

Yeah, yeah. It's like, oh, he eventually found, he got there. He eventually found something that was a reason. But I got a question. Do ghosts only haunt squeaky door places? Oh, that's interesting. Yeah. The ghosts that haunt squeaky door places.

Yeah. Are there a bunch of ghosts? If I wd 40, my hinges, are there ghosts being like, fuck, damn. Damn it. This is all I have. I'm going to have to clap.

I'm not to start clapping. Let me try the stairs. I hope they play like a convenient children's game that I can get in. Xbox? What the fuck am I going to? Okay, I'm told I guess.

That's not on Xbox. I'm going to toast these kids fucking mind-of-demeanor-demean. Jackbox? I guess I'll play these game. They're not that fun. You guys are going to love my quiplash answer. It's a joke that's based on ancient Latin.

It's a fucking love. We're back to, but you'll get it. It's going to kill. So the next morning, they're all talking about the fact that nothing actually happened in that last scene. Yeah. Right. Mom gets out of the shower.

There's another bruise on her back. And this time, it's, you know, it's this giant, looks like she's hit with a battering ram or something. Yeah. Yeah. And this is where the bird suicides on the house. Dad's leaving the house and a bird smacks into it. We see that like a more dead shit. And I get that eventually and, you know, the, the stick is that they can't leave because how would

they leave all their money's tied up in the place. But the amount that nobody is like, okay, we got to get out of here. Like, there's not a single time. Yeah. They could at least have the kids be like, hey, can we, I don't want to stay here. Can we leave? Everyone's just like, fuck. Yeah.

This is so haunted. All right. Well, well, I guess we're haunted now. Good night. Yeah. The dad's also a truck driver. And so, like, he's used to like living on the road. And so now just load up the car and you guys live on the road, like for a little bit until

you figure it out. Because it gets so much work. It's like what's five when you have three? Exactly. Also, most of them are grown, so. Yeah, pretty much. So, okay, so this is also the point where we introduced that the youngest girl, April, she now has an imaginary friend named Rory that she's talking to, very creepy.

And the way that you see Rory is by looking in the mirror of her creepy haunted music box. Yeah. But does it happen right away or do you have to wait a fucking minute every time they do it? Sure, yeah. You got to be connected on the fucking. dial-up music box to hell. I want to be clear, I am a devout atheist. I don't believe

in angel food cake. If my child was like, you can see my brand new invisible friend if you look in this mirror, I'd be like, no, but watch what daddy's about doing. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm going to burn this thrice. I'm with you. I'm with you.

Come on it, but I'll do that in private. But I'm not going to tell you about that. You'll find out about that when you eventually Google Daddy's name and are very sad. I'm so sorry. I hope the money is fun. But the little girl wants to play a game of a hide and clap, right? So we get mom

walking around blindfolded and I wrote my notes like at this point, it's like, this is only scary if you're a fucking OSHA inspector. Right? Yeah. Well, this is F minus parenting. Because the daughter gilts her into being like, oh, I never get to play. I never get to clap. And she puts the blindfold on.

You already know you're being haunted at this point. You got to be suspecting. It's a little kid. Put the blindfold on the way where you can actually see. Like she's not going to know. You could even not have it on until you get to the room she's in. You're such an idiot. Like what do you do? At this point, I was like, they deserve it.

Like this family asks to be haunted. There's like 40 things where you're like, are you trying to be haunted as hard as you can? Right. So we have this bit where she's walking around. She can hear the demon breathing. And she's like, I hear you breathing. And I'm like, you think your kid is breathing like a post-coital ogre?

What the fuck? Oh, I hear you breathe. You've never heard Remy and Arlo breathed. Just me voluntarily wearing a mask from 2019 to 2021. No, this is good. I'm glad we're protecting the elderly so they can vote for Trump again.

So but then, of course, as she's like zeroing in on the clap that she's sure and the breathing that's right there, she hears the kid running around behind her. So she takes off the blindfold because she's a fucking cheater. And then she's like, oh, what was breathing in this wardrobe here. And you see the hands. You see the hands in the word.

Stop. I hate this. Stop it. Where are my notes. This reminds me of, sorry, it's a quick thing, but we set up a bunch of

Halloween decorations for the kids. And there's like a spider that jumps out when, you know, when you go near it. I don't go on my front door anymore, by the way. Yeah.

The kids handle it better than Lydia. But Arlo, when he saw it, he was like, okay, hold on. I'm going to go get spooked by the spider. So that's what I keep thinking of it. Like,

this is that. movie. Okay, I'm going to go get spooked over here. Guys, I'm going to get spooked by the wardrobe. So that night, Dad's having trucker problems or whatever. This never comes to anything. So I guess there's no point in talking about it. So that night we've got the foot fetish demon comes back to fuck with Christine. So gross. And yank on her leg or whatever.

And there's this long moment where like she's looking at the foot of the bed and there's nothing there. And then she looks over the side of the bed and there's also there's also nothing over there. But then the door is closing And maybe there's something. Nope, there's also nothing there. There's pretty spooky. That's pretty spooky.

Are we to believe that she could see it and the other girl couldn't? Yeah. And we couldn't, right? She wakes their sister up and she's like, there's a demon standing by the door and the sister walks over and she's like, no, there's not. Look, I'm standing there doing a little dance.

It smells bad, but I don't see anything. It smells pretty farty, but that's it. And then she's like, the door slams and the little girl screams like crazy. That was a jump scare for me. Sure. Like the door slamming. Sure. Yeah.

Jump scares are the laziest form of entertainment. Yeah. But then the mom and the dad come to the rescue and like, nothing's actually happening. So it's done now. Little girl goes, it wants my family to be dead. And I wrote my notes, to be fair, so do I so that something will fucking in that. Can I just say, though, like Joey King actually does a really good performance here. Like, I hate this movie.

Oh, sure. Yeah. I'm never watched it again in my entire life. But I was like, I was pretty impressed with that. She's like 13 when she did this film. Everyone is good. The kids are pretty good. Yeah, it's well lit too.

Yeah. Well, what sucks is they started off the movie with the worst actors. Like the fake documentary with the doll, those people are terrible. Yeah, sure. She just skipped all that bullshit and they could have been better. Yeah, the doll also has nothing to do with the rest of the fucking movie, too. So, no. All right. Well, I've been

assured by a lot of horror lovers that this movie is on the verge of being good any minute, but we're going to have to wait until after the break to prove them wrong. All right, Lorraine. I'll put this locket right here in our museum. That way it can never hurt anybody again. Thank God.

Uh, anybody else here? Oh, my God, is that Bielzebub? Dude, Mammin? Is that you? Oh, hey, guys, guys, it's Bielzebub. Hey. Oh, my God. Wow.

Talk about getting the band back together. Right. Totally. Yeah. So what has everyone been? up to? Well, I've been doing a ton in this Annabel doll. I heard, I heard. Yeah, I trick these

nurses into thinking I was a little girl ghost. Little girl ghost is classic way in. But then the warrants found out, and now I'm here. Oh, how long have you been here? Six years.

Oh, so you just hung out? Yep. Well, wouldn't it be better for you to just leave now that you're not haunting anyone or anything? Well, I'm, you know, hoping I get a chance to do some haunting again. How? You're in a museum for haunted. What? I'm sorry, but I don't understand why you guys are hanging out in your vessels. Everyone knows you're haunted. Go fucking inhabit a new thing. Do some, do some demon stuff.

We can't, okay? Sorry, you can't? No, it's part of the haunting deal. Once you've haunted a thing, you're kind of stuck there until somebody magics you out of it or you possess somebody. Okay, so just for clarity,

you guys, demons of hell, you just sit here all day. I mean, sometimes we describe movies to each other. Got it. Did you see any movies out there? Yeah, I was in the room when they watch the Thunderbolts, the new Avengers thing?

I'm good. They're the new Avengers. No, they're not. No, they're not. And we're back for more of this shit. We're going to rejoin the action at the Warren household, where they stand ready to monetize

these parents' unwillingness to recognize their daughter's mental illness. There's this moment where Ed's like, I'm just going to go out to the store, and she's like, I'm a clairvoyant in the movie. You can't lie to me. Yeah. Right.

Yeah. I forgot about that. Yeah. I like it that it's fictional, but like you would get used to that in this real. If this were real and they weren't full of shit, you'd get used to it. You bring up a good point too. Never is money discussed. No.

You know, like these people, this is their full time fucking job in the movie, right? They're just, this case ends by the way, this case. And there's another. He's like, they're done. They like, they just finished this one at the end of movie, spoilers. And they're like, got another case out and fucking whatever. And you're like, so this is just every. day you're doing this all day.

Who pays you? Right. Like, how do you make money? Just kind of the kindness of their hearts. Yeah, sure. They're just going to work so hard. But so that he's got to go check out a case and she's going to go with him, damn it, because God put him together for a reason.

God, off a movie. I hate this so much. And this is a criticism of all movies that do this. Do you remember what you said to me on our wedding night? Yeah. Has anyone ever said that? Have you ever said? Eli, do you remember what you said to me?

The day we met. It's like, shut up. You'd be like, oh, I remember. I don't know if you remember this, but you said something really one day. It was, you know, like, God, every movie does that. It's just like, stop, stop it. So dumb.

So, yeah, but she's going to. And so then we have this moment where, like, they're checking out of the house, but it turns out it's not actually haunted. It's just a creek in the basement. Because we have to establish that, like, sometimes they don't find ghosts, you know. Which is incredible because,

and they even say themselves that the ratio is, fucking what they say something at some point right like one out of a hundred or something so you're like 99 to one it's 99 to one but you have 18 000 trinkets yes yeah so you must be going to houses

18 million yeah 150 times a day yeah what is happening anytime someone sneeze is they take their handkerchief no no no price there's usually some kind of rational explanation and I'm like yeah yeah I'm going to sell this

to comedian Matt Rife It's okay. Annabelle is currently owned by Matt Rife. Oh, interesting. Oh, I didn't know. They're good. They belong to. So back at the Perron House, Peron House, I don't know how it's pronounced.

I've just seen it written. Mom's bruises are getting worse. She hasn't gone to the doctor. She said she would. She hasn't. Yeah. Later on, she'll say that the doctor says it's an iron deficiency. So I think she is supposed to have like pills for a bit.

We can assume she went and the doctor said you're, you know, hysteria. You're a woman in the 70. Your husband is hitting you. So, but then she's like walking around the house and she hears clapping. But it's too late at night for hide and clap. Damn it. All the kids are in bed.

I'm sorry. Are you saying children would lie about being out of bed? It's fucking demon ghosts. It's demon. Obviously demon goes. And also like, okay, so clappy demon is the laziest goddamn demon in the history of cinema, right? Because all he's doing is he's sitting behind. the fucking wardrobe clapping.

And want you to come to him. Is that what he's putting in his fucking report? Yeah, right. It's a slow burn. It's a slow burn. I appreciate the ability to find a way to do less work in your job. Okay. I love that.

Like, when I work smarter and not harder. Yeah. The other ghost are like, hey, Trevor, can you fucking, you're just in there all day. Like, can you do? No, no, no. But you wait. They play a clap game. It got her.

You didn't, you didn't see the last scene. I got it. I got her. What are you doing? What are you doing? Yeah, I sit here, but I get more done right here than you do moving all around the fucking house. Craig, we all know the foot stuff is about you. And none of us are talking about Mike.

Eli's come on his samurai suit 184 times in the last 48 hours. I'd be like, we need some kind of support system for Mike. He's just taking those loads. It's more like, he's like, wait, Mike hasn't done anything. And everyone's like, guys, Eli's come on Mike a lot of it. come on, you know that he can't do anything right. He's been come on like 40 times. Just like the physical weight.

Just the weight of the come to be like can't move. Right, right. So, okay, but then she goes in search of another jump scare. This is where we get the piano callback. She hears notes from the creepy basement. And at least she has more sense than most people in horror movies because she doesn't go into the creepy basement to get them or to check them out. She goes, I'm going to lock you in here is what I'm going to do.

but then the demon closes the door and smacks her with it. Yeah, I didn't think of that. I got to say, at this point I wrote the note, the amount of artistic direction in this haunting is just incredible. You would need a Truman show level coordination of the ghosts. Wouldn't you? They're like, oh, wait, she's just about to, no, she's looking that way. So you get on your hands and knees and you get behind.

Wait, she's going to look here. Now jingle those things like, and it's like 40 things like that. Doing any sort of entertainment, as you guys well know, you know how hard that would be to get everything right where it's like she's not looking so do that over there. Now she's looking at it's the last episode of jury duty and corporate retreat, right?

It's the last episode where they show how they did everything. In coordination, this would tip. Crazy billionaire remake. It's a haunted house movie, but they've got a bad like stage manager and so everyone misses all the haunting. He's like, fuck, fuck, door, door, door. The play that goes wrong.

She's scared, and then all of a sudden, ghost dumps and so, ow, falls over. The haunting that goes wrong. Yeah, yeah. That's exactly what it is. Yeah. Mischief theater. Boo, boo, boo. Oh, God.

You're still scared, right? Oh, this hurts. Mr. Theater. Mischief. They're the ones you do that go wrong. Oh, I thought you said Mr. Theater. Mr. Theater. Like a big talk.

Producer. Mr. Broadway. I don't know if you heard how often I can come on a suit of samurai armor, but, uh, Scott Rubin, if you're watching. God, too true, too true. So, okay, so meanwhile, so mom's locked in the basement, right? The demons got her there. She's banging at the door.

So meanwhile, Cindy is back at the mirror, whacking her head, sleep walking into the thing again. Yeah, cut to RFK Jr. talking about how crazy it is. There's so much more autism these days. I wrote during that scene as it was finishing, like, why do people like to be scared? Genuine question. I do not get it at all, Lydia.

Honestly, I thought the whole time, I'm just like, I'm like power to you or whatever, but I just don't fucking get it. I think the people who enjoy horror movies are the same people who are like, I don't really read the news. And I'm like, okay. So what's your human experience? Okay. I think a lot of people, like, we got a lot of listeners that really love horror movies that are writing angrily to you right now. That's fine.

Okay. Go ahead. So, no, they're writing angrily to Eli. They're fine with you. Go ahead. Go ahead. You can grab your quill out of your fucking Ravens skull pen things. All right.

So. dearest god-awful movies first who came upon that set of samurai armor which I found most distasteful I'll wear a bright yellow shirt at you so we get dad he comes up he's coming home from his long run to Florida or whatever the fuck he was doing

he comes in and he's got mom screaming banging her way out of the basement the kids upstairs whacking her head against the fucking thing The other kid is scared of the warrope and shit. So, you know, typical dad shit, right, Thomas? Yeah, you get some. They're all being haunted in a different, annoying way. Everyone fucking cut it out.

But this is a dad thing, right? You do sometimes just walk home and you're like, whoever's being haunted, stop it. What happens? Cut out! Fuck! I had to dig a shit. I've had to dig a shit for the last 20 minutes.

Yeah, what if this guy was driving his truck for four hours? He has to come in and just taking a massive shit. And the ghosts are like, well, wait, well, it's time. Just that I'll finish. We'll be here. I thought I was just going to get to walk to the door and take a ship with your bagging, your head off the fucking window. You're locked in the basement.

I got a fucking turtle head bucking out. I'm trying to deal with 17. ghosts and a prediagnosis autistic. There is a point in a parent's life where you're like, I don't care what it is, I'm taking a shit. You know, like you're just, whatever it is.

You're going to be halted in a second. So dad comes in screaming to know the plot. Then we cut to Ed Warren's demonology class, right? He gives the least inspired version of the litany. What is this? There's a hundred and thirty people. It's crowded, standing room.

only at his class, right? And there's this great moment. He's showing this video. He's like, you know, we gave this guy an exorcism. Actually, he just died. He actually just died because he had an untreated mental illness. But we did give him an exorcism in the middle of that. And we see in the video that he started to grow upside down crosses. Yeah. Right.

I wrote my notes, that sounds more interesting than this movie. Can we do that story? Yeah, right. Right. But they're like, oh, do you do exorcisms? And he's like, no, I'm not authorized. You need a, like, a license. or something for that. I didn't pass the CPA exam, you know.

I can't pass the drug test. This is also where we learned the three phases of possession, which are all possession. Yes, right. Infestation, which is possession. Yeah, you're infesting the house first, I think. I guess. Then oppression.

You got to get them, work them into a state where they can be possessed. You know, you try to soften. You throw them down the stairs like you did with Carolyn, right? That's a impression. It's very oppressive. All right. All right. Yeah. And then you lock them out of all the good paying jobs, you know.

Yeah. There's really hard. Their whole goddamn lies, but they're never really good. Dei. Yeah. Yeah. People don't know it, but the head of Black Rock is just a haunted music box covered in my come. No, it is.

Yeah. Owns like 30% of residential homes at this point. But the third step of possession is possession, right? So, and now you get the third fucking stage of your thing can't just be your thing. Yeah, because then you've got to redo it again. Right, right. It's like a fractal now. Yeah. John Jacob.

His name is my possession too. Yeah. See, he goes forever. Yeah. Yeah. But one of the students in that class was Mama Peron, right? She had come to see what these demon hunters were all about. So after class, she like comes up and she's like, hey, can you help me with my, my demon shit?

So it's what you do? Small thing, but they're trying so hard to get a couple more characters in there. So I actually have some random guy that comes back later as the videologist. or whatever, yeah, videographer. And he's like, hey, this woman, for some reason, needs me to say, can you talk to her? Yeah, right, right. Yes, I am the one doing the introductions because Drew wouldn't do the interviews for this show

unless we were going to make a character out of him. So, yeah, and then there's this great moment where she's like, you know, my house is haunted. Can you help? And they're like, I don't know. We got a lot of haunted houses. We got it too. But they ultimately decide they are going to help her.

So, okay. So they arrive at the house. Everybody's sleeping in the basement or in the living room now because it's so ghost cold upstairs or it's a really old house and the furnace doesn't work very well. And you didn't know that the furnace existed until you busted through a wall and found it. We get a brief moment of a Brady Bunch episode, which I would much rather be watching.

Sure. This movie. Classic Jan Whig episode. Oh, that's right. It's actually on the TV. Yeah. For a second, I thought she meant like the way they were acting. Exactly. Because there's the five of them being introduced.

Yeah. Right. No, like literally got to watch Chiba for second. Oh, Bath Chiba. Yeah. So, but then they all come in, they meet the family, and Ed's like, hmm, smells, bad smells, huh? Sounds like demons. Yeah.

Yeah. They're doing this thing. And again, like, the meta-narrative of the movie isn't that they're con people, but you can sort of read between the lines to them being con people because everything they say is like, well, that's a sign of a demon too. Yeah. This is even worse than we thought. Yeah, like who's conning who? I don't know the actual history because you could also say the family could be trying to con people that there's ghosts there.

So are they conning each other? Is it like one thing where they both are like mutual cons? Because it's like you need there to be ghosts. I need there to be ghosts. Let's fucking. Well, it absolutely is that, right? It absolutely is that. And that's why when Ed and Lorraine took the ghost story in a direction that the Perones didn't

actually want it to go, they asked him to leave. Right. That's how this story actually ends is with them going like. like just please please leave. They did the Michael Scott had a gun in the in the scene, improv scene. Literally. Don't.

Oh. But what I love here is that they go through all this stuff. Now, mind you, they've had their asses fucking haunted at this point. They've been haunted so fucking. They've been haunted to where if we were atheists, if we were there as atheists, we'd be like, yeah. I think there's ghosts or something. And then so we have this line where they describe all this stuff, you know,

and then fucking Patrick, Paul, whatever, that guy, Patrick Wilson is like, this indicates demon. activity. And the wife is like, oh my God. You're like, what are you talking? Why? You had your ass haunted so hard. You had to have known. You thought you had an invisible band in the house. What was the other thing you thought it was going to be?

And you asked them to come over, right? So you anticipated that there might actually be a haunting. So why is this so terrifying and creepy? It should be validating. It should be like, oh. Thank you. I'm not crazy. There is one thing that gets.

it said here that I really want to drill down on. So they're like, oh, we hear knocking and he's like, does the knocking come in threes? The demons do that to mock the Trinity's. Yep, yep. Hey, fucking what? I know. I know. Hey, hey, hey, guys, hey guys. Jesus,

his father, sorry, holy ghost. Huh? Got them. Because three. Got them. The number three. They let them. They want it to be just that number. Also, isn't it not in threes? Isn't it two? Because of the clapping game? Shut the fuck.

I will go to hell and kill you myself. I am covered in 946 loads right now. You can barely see the samurai armor at this point. People say, oh, it's cool. You have a snowman in your audience museum. So Lorraine goes down into the creepy cellar, right? And she's psychics a bit. And she's like, oh, something awful happened here, guys.

Something really interesting that the movie's not really going to dive into it all. Okay, so now Ed's at the table with him. He's doing like his recorded demon interview. Okay, I have to talk about this little quibble, and I know it's just like a weird, happened to be teaching film at a university thing. He has a completely modern shotgun microphone in his hand. Okay.

I don't know why they thought we wouldn't recognize this, but this movie is supposed to be set in the 70s, and he has a road shotgun microphone in his hand. I can't, he might as well have an iPhone in his hands. I'm just watching him be like, it's the new iPhone duo and fucking, you want to tell your ghost story into the iPhone duo? And I'm like, nobody on set went,

those are two years old, man. I mean, I know they know, right? Because they know, right. So, okay, but he's like, oh, I noticed you have those bruises or those from the ghosts. I still wanted her to be like, no, he beats me. It's 1971. He hits me.

That's always what it is. I'm sorry. Like, she's saying that she has an iron deficiency, and that's why she has bruised. is, but she just got thrown down the stairs. Yeah. Also that. Why would you say that?

It doesn't make it. And again, you also were just told you were being haunted. And so like, why can't, I don't, none of it makes any sense. This scene only makes sense if it was like right, like 20% into the movie. Because the amount they've been haunted at this point. Yeah. My audio pedantry thing was going to be, and this is actually realistic, when someone has a mic that they're going to set at the table for everyone, and they start the recording by putting it

in their throat and being like, okay, I was on the time. That's a different kind, like, it's going to be louder because it's on the, never mind. Yeah. So, okay. So he starts this tape and he's like, my name is Ed Warren. And I'm like, it's your fucking tape. Welcome to my podcast. Obviously.

Yeah, right, right. She goes, where do I start? And he's like, from the fucking beginning, from the first fucking ghost thing. Your favorite color. Jesus fucking Christ. So, but then meanwhile, Lorraine is interviewing little April about her imaginary friend Rory. And she tells her that she can see him if she looks in the creepy music box mirror. right. So she does.

There's a clown that was part of this that I did not realize the first time around and I saw it the second time around and I hate clowns so much, so much. And I was like this movie is my worst enemy. Yeah. There's just like a gently bonping clown head.

Yeah, that's been there the whole time. You've been so scared to you notice the thing you're scared of most. It's weird because like, and I know they're just doing like a spooky thing, but the clown head comes kind of halfway up. Like it's trying to get clicks on gluck top. Like I thought the fucking fucking clown was going to link me to its only

thing. So yeah, so, but then she looks in and she sees this little pilgrim kid or whatever with blood all over his face. Little Victorian boy. And then I guess we're supposed to believe that this is what the little girl's been seeing the whole time. And I'm like, well, you would have thought

she would have mentioned Rory was a blood covered pilgrim at some point, right? Also, does that timeline work out? Because the boy wasn't from the first ghosting. No, no. Maybe he's a boy from like 1910 or something. Thanksgiving. I think he's supposed to be like Victorian.

I think the outfit is supposed to be. Right after the school play. Yeah. And then we see the scariest part of this fucking movie for me, right? Because they walk out to the little dock out behind the house and you see they got this beautiful lakefront property and there's fucking five five bedrooms in the house and everything. and you're like, fuck man, a trucker could afford that on one goddamn salary in 1971. 14 room house actually.

Oh, my God, yeah. Like the house actually has 14 rooms, which is why so many doors. Yeah. Right, right, yeah. And that's not counting the hidden ones behind the panels. But yeah, but Lorraine is having a moment here because she can see a dead lady hanging from a tree back there. And at this point, I'm like, pick a fucking ghost. I know.

That was, when I saw the dead lady on the trail, I was like, what is fucking, Because we have a pilgrim. We already have a pilgrim ghost. What the fuck are we doing here? Stage manager ghost is like, okay, Beth Sheba, this is you. Yeah. Can I say?

Can I say? Thank you five. Yeah. Look, and maybe it's because of how often I picture myself hanging from a tree. That wouldn't scare me. I'd just be like, oh, unfortunate for you. Yeah. Okay.

So, so back at the kitchen table to doing the interview. Goet he's braver than me. Oh, okay. So back at the kitchen table, to do in the interview. And this is where they have to, establish the why wouldn't you just move thing right as though a 14 room fucking house on the lakeside was a reason

I mean I would share right now I would share that fucking house with a goddamn demon right that got many of rooms it sounds like oh yeah yeah you got you can have to upstairs I'll take the downstairs that's fine so just just don't do the clapping thing while I'm trying to rip forth unless you do it on the count

unless it's on time yeah exactly the 3-2-1 there will be moments for clapping that joke is way funnier for us in the audience I guess But so, okay, but they say, yeah, if you move, the demons will just come with you. They're all latched onto your shit at this point, right? And that's a lot of fucking demons. They're like, got all their bags and shit.

I know, like the gas mileage is going to be terrible. Is Beth Shiba sort of moving along and hanging at the same time? Because I feel like that was she's got like a suitcase on a toe. Flapping behind the car. I'm going to get it. So, yeah. And this is where they explain to her. Call shotgun.

Fuck. There's this great moment where Lorraine is just like, actually, you've got a fuck ton of demons, but the main one is this check, right? Yeah. And she says,

it is so hateful. And I wanted the ghost to be racist. And for the rest of the haunting to just be the ghost's problematic takes, right? Just like, the door opens and it's like, I don't trust Miss Rachel.

And it's like, I'm not really interested in this. We're actually going to move. We're going to move. We're going to move. So yeah, but then he's like, you know, can you help us? And Ed gives him the, you know, I don't know, these pipes are pretty old of demonology, right? He's just like, oh, we'd love to help, but ah, this would be really expensive to do a job like this.

Yeah, you need the premium plan. You guys aren't baptized? Oh, that's going to be a lot. That's going to cost. He's doing it like a Jersey contract. I'm not going to lie. I'm not going to lie. I'm not going to lie.

This is going to cost. So, okay. So that night, the warrants are fucking familying. and their little daughter says, hey, mom, I bought a locket for you and a locket for me. So we are now connected in a very spiritual way that a demon might be able to take advantage of later. Yeah.

Pin in that. Great. So artificial and out of nowhere. Yeah, because this kid has not been a character at all. There is a moment where she's like, wow, mom, I wish you had more time for me and less for your bullshit. Can you bullshit from home maybe? Can you pretend I'm haunted?

Yeah, right. Right. But then Ed is going over the tapes of their interview from earlier. And Mama Perron, Carolyn is the character's name. Her voice didn't record at all. Yeah. And he's on a deadline for his podcast. Yeah, right. Contents ruins.

Yes, exactly. I'm like, I've had that guest. They must have, those ghosts have isotope RX 57. That's what they have. They've got the really good isotope thing. You got to do the stem split. You got to do the stem split. And I wrote in my notes.

I'm like, well, you know, as Eli often explains, sometimes the front of the microphone is hard to find. Thank you. You don't know which. But, oh, and then we have my favorite goddamn scene in the fucking movie where he says, you know, have you found anything about the house? And she's like, yes, I've found way too many things for this not to be a comedy. I can't wait to go.

We've got to go through this. I can't wait. It's the funniest thing possible. Every story is the dumbest thing you've ever. It's sillier. And they only need one. It's like everybody. had an idea and nobody is willing to come off of it, right?

Right. Which actually is kind of what happened. It is. It's the yes ending too much. I'm like, no, we already fucking, oh my God. But when you're bullshitting, you can't be like, well, no, that didn't happen. That one's not really? Yeah.

Because that's someone else was like, oh, really? There was no proof of the one I said? Right. Okay. So first we learned that this lady bought Bathsheba Walker or whatever. Oh, God. This was a real person, right? It was a real person because I was like, who was named?

Bathsheba really but I looked her up at like she actually yeah is a real person this is a real person that was accused of witchcraft right they were they accused her of killing her own child which means your kid fucking died and then everybody turned on her in her fucking town she was acquitted she like had to like move away

and change her name and shit and then this movie was like oh you know who historically hasn't taken enough shit yeah yeah and also by the way they imply here that at least some of the Salem witch trial ladies were guilty though actually witches. I will also point out

that the Warrens specifically used this woman's grave. So their bullshit is what carried over to the movie. Use this woman's grave because they were like

that spooky name fucking cool. This woman's grave gets real lady, real lady. Her grave gets vandalized all the time. Christians travel

to this fucking go fuck yourself Massachusetts and smash this real lady's grave with a hammer. This city had to fence in her grave.

And she's dead. right there's no afterlife she doesn't care but think about the we're all real people right and someone could be like Eli's a pretty spooky name why don't we make ten movies about how much she came on those suits of art

and then some wackadoo from Alabama drives all night on trucker pills and it's like I got him so is this the one that hung herself so I don't know because there was so many of them so funny to me so here's the things we need to explain everybody for the ghosting.

We got the 307 on the clock, right? We've also got the lady hanging from the tree. And what they decided to say. That's the same one, Bathsheba is 307. Yes. What they decide to say is that in 18 fucking what? 49 is what they say. Oh my God.

In 1849, everybody, that this woman hanged herself from the tree in the middle of the night, but they pronounced her dead. They announced her, they decided her time of death was 307 in 1840. in 1849. Because in 1849 they were really dead ass on on those time of death phone. Who are you talking to?

It's 1849. As the crow flies. There's also... There's no other dead in the next day, I think. Yeah. And then there's also this kid Rory whose mom killed him for a sacrifice to Satan

when they moved in. And so they're just trying to squeeze way too many premises into one fucking movie at this point. And the other thing was, I know that tree's old, but they're like, she hung herself from that branch.

That branch a hundred and sixty years ago? Like the same brand. We don't get a lot of storms. Okay. Weird. Then there's like because the estate was so large and then had been divvied up, right? Then they had a maid in a different house nearby, but it was still part of the property way back when. Oh, so they killed herself.

And then there was a boy who drowned over in that creek, which was technically part of the property in the 1840s. And I love how they tried to just skate in the maid suicide. And the maid killed herself. Oh, this is the Bathsheba witch. No, it's just also creepy. It just sucks being a maid. I don't know. Just tough being her.

She was braver than Eli. She was crazy. It's okay. So, but the warrants come back. Now they've got the whole crew and they're going to do the, you know, they're setting up their ghost traps and all this shit and their cameras that are, you know, set to go off with when ghosts walk by. So yeah.

But we learned that these people. pictures only take, or these cameras only take pictures when ghost cold comes through, right? Pretty amazing for 1971 technology. Yeah, right. They also brought a cop in case they need to arrest the ghost. Yep. I hate this so much. Officer cop.

It's such a fucking D-minus attempt at an alternate character that kind of brings in some humor sometimes. But it's the worst performance, the worst writing, it's pointless. And they try to bring it back at the end as a big laugh line. It's like, that's nothing. Yeah. there's also this great moment where like Lorraine picks up a picture of all of the

family at a beach, you know, and she goes, oh, a lovely day at the beach. And Carolyn goes, how do you know? How did you know? Because it's what I'm staring at a picture of. It's a photograph of you at the beach. Can I ask you guys? In that I saw a picture that's right in for me?

Did you guys get a vibe between Lorraine and Carolyn during that moment? Because I was like, I was waiting for there to be a kiss. I thought it was really intimate when they were talking about that photo. I think Carolyn was leaning in and Lorraine wasn't. But you can like see in Lorraine's eyes like she wanted to. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

She was leaning in doing it like, do it like, you're, oh, okay. You're into this, okay. Yeah, oh, okay. All right. I'm that kind of clarimoyant, by the way. The answer's no.

But we learned that Carolyn sure is fond of her own children. So, me, You may touch me as I exit I hope the answers no there too. Stupid brave maid. So then we cut to this stupid this scene where Drew

their assistant is flirting with snarky daughter and we basically never see either of these characters again. I forgot that she's not even in it. I don't think. I can't tell. Was she haunted or not? I don't even know. Yeah. She's not the one sharing the room, right? So she doesn't really get much of the haunted. I don't No.

It's okay. So that night they're listening for ghosts, right? The cop accidentally sets off one of the ghost traps when he goes to the bathroom. And I'm like, why would you put a ghost trap on the bathroom door? Like, everybody's going to have to shit. And they already established that it only goes off when it's like a ghost cold spot. Well, the pictures. The cameras, but yeah.

Oh, oh, what else? The little jingle. And also, like, hey, if you want me to be scared of the ghost coming in, don't make them make a little jingle, right? Like, I can't be scared of. Chee-ching, ching, ching, ching. Like, they just walked into an antique shop. Get one of those arcade things for your ghost thing.

Yeah. You're like to get a jingle, have it be 1.877 cars. Yeah, there it is. Demon pops its head in. Those guys are Jews. Oh, man. I really hate how hateful you are, demon. So, yeah.

So, but then one of their little alarms goes off in the basement. And now Drew has to get a camera and follow them into the basement where nothing fucking happens. Right? They go in there, they're like taunting the demon a little bit. They're like, hey, demon, demon. Especially you have a little dick. You know, you see

if they can get a fucking rise out of him, but nothing. Even that guy's a Jew. We got it, we brought a Jew guy. Oh, I mean, no. And there's a cop and we're not being like respectful. You know that way that cops want us to be respectful of them? We're not doing that. There's those. No lives

matter. See, we got him. We fucking got them. Did you get that? So there's a great moment because they go, they start to go upstairs and then there's like a sound or whatever, and they like the demons colomboing them or whatever. But then they look back and it's still nothing. And then they go back upstairs. And as they're all piling out at the basement,

the door slams closed in a manner very consistent with one of them kicking it closed when no one was looking. Or a draft. Any number of things in an old house, yeah. Pushing a little too hard. Right, right. Well, in the movie, it's a ghost. Yeah, exactly.

But it was a ghost. I'm gonna fucking slam this door. We even have a moment now with Drew and the cop where the cop is supposed to be like the skeptic who doesn't believe in any of this ghost shit. And Drew's like, you look pretty scared when that door suddenly closed. And he's like, yeah, I mean, loud noises do that to people.

Yeah. Yeah, I still jump by. I still have a nervous system. It doesn't mean you're good at making a movie. But 307 comes and goes and nothing happens. Bathsheba actually had like a club thing. Oh, right. She was going to do a haunting that night, but she tries to do some stuff.

I hang myself six days a week, okay? One day a week. I go out with my girls. We're doing a sex in the city rewatch, and it is problematic, and so I love that because I'm a pretty problematic. Yeah. All right. I'm so hateful. Well, we all.

I drive my cyber truck with my sin line. All right. Well, we all just had to relive that time that door closed louder than expected. So we're going to need a minute to calm our heart rights down a bit. But first, let me give Act 3 the hard sell. Will anything be conjured? Will anything ever happen at 307? Will they ever settle on who the fuck is the main ghost here?

No, not really. And I don't think so. But stick around anyway for the surprisingly derivative conclusion of the conjuring. Did you find anything out about the house? I did. It turns out that it was the house of one of the witches in the Salem Witch trials. That's it then. The witch is the demon.

But there's more. A hundred years later, a satanic witch named Beth Sheba sacrificed her child to Satan there. So, two witches on the same property? There's more. Forty years after that, a maid killed her child and then herself. Okay. And as the hearse with their bodies was driving away, they hit another mother and child crossing the road. That feels just statistically improbable at this point.

And then the ambulance that pulled up to. save them, a mother-daughter team of paramedics, but they left the oxygen tank on and it exploded, killing them both and the mother and her son who were flying on a private plane above. Are you done? And the plane crashed on a mommy and me yoga class. So like 45 ghosts, then? Give or take. Got it.

And we're back for more of this shit. We're going to rejoin the action with everybody having breakfast together. and sure appreciate and having these scam artists around. Well, they sure do work very hard at what they do, guys. Mm-hmm. In fact, Mom needs a nap, and so Lorraine is going to do all her chores while she naps. Hope she doesn't get haunted.

Yeah. It's just pretty insidious when you realize that this was actually just them conning someone, right? Right. Like, I'm sure this is actually based on the idea of, like, oh, and they watched the kids for us and stuff. But, like, the fact that you were actually just lying to them about their children's mental illness and the noises in their house makes this off.

It's like when I babysitted for the Smiths and I was jealous that none of their kids had autism and mine did. So I injected all their kids with autism and I got a three for three. It's like that. That's what it's like. Oh, interesting.

Yeah. Yeah. So yeah, but... Perfect record, by the way. We don't know about Remy yet. Don't fucking... Don't count your trains before they're... They're autistic.

So, but then Ed goes to fix his old car because that's just what a swell guy at is, right? When he's scamming you for money, He also fixes your car. Then as Lorraine is putting laundry out, either what weather happens or a ghost shows up in the form of weather. Yeah, people like this one. This one's cool.

She goes on a ghost. Yeah. That was a cool scene. That was a cool scene. It's a cool image, right? But if you picture it from the ghost's perspective, right, Bathsheba, the ancient witch is standing there ready to prey on Lorraine Warren. And they're, ah, what the hell? Yeah, he just had to imagine.

She was like, and I was, that was it, I meant to. Yeah, I was trying to be creepy. I was going to tell her that Republicans and the Democrats are the same. The movement feels ruined. But the other possibility is that she's just trying to hide, right?

And this happens, she's like, oh, fuck, shit. God damn, she knows right where I'm. This is embarrassing. I'm still a little drunk from Girls' Night. So then we cut up. Carolyn is taking her nap and we see like demon bruises show up on her arm as the demon's grabbing her. Well, this is where is she going to get fully like. Yeah, stage three of possession, which is.

Which is, yeah, exactly. The demon pukes blood all up into your mouth for a while. Yeah, who enjoys watching? But what's happening physically like technologically? Yeah, right. How is that? Does that blood have the you in it? Radio signals.

Yeah, I don't know what is that. Does it solidify? Are you solemn? Venom is like the same thing, right? Like it's like a piece of venom. That's alien. That's alien. These are ghosts who aren't corporeal.

I wish Tom Hardy would vomit into my mouth. Exactly. Way hotter. But then, so Lorraine is like she's all demoned up, but then she's pretending to be just fine, which I love. I want the movie of the demon just pretending to do mom shit until at Lorraine. My God, there's so much to do in a house all of five children.

Fuck, I hate this so much. On behalf of husbands everywhere. I can tell when my wife is mad because my tone was a little sharp in the last conversation we had two and a half hours ago. The idea, the notion that I wouldn't notice

she was chockful, oh, demon. Yeah, right. Instantly, that she wouldn't walk down the stairs and I'd be like, oh, you got a demon in you. You're mad. I always say that. Because I told you there's no. right way to fill the dishwasher. Okay. Switches spot faces with someone. I'm like, no, I'd know.

Oh, that's not you. Yeah, no, exactly. I'm editing, but that's not you. I'm not fooled, but I'm not addressing it. I'm really busy. I have a lot of work to do. Hey, whoever you are, can you edit? Are you all good? Yeah. I mean, Lydia, who I definitely think that is, get on the work.

However you fall asleep. I'll know about you. Demons sitting there. Why does the fat one make all the jokes about fucking stuff? I don't get it. I find him unlikable. So there's this moment where like dad gets back taking the kids for ice cream and he adds working on the car

and they go out and they're like, he's like, hey, so what mysterious thing happened to your wife that we keep alluding to in the movie? And he's like, believe it or not, we're still not really going to dive into it. I think we're waiting for a sequel. Not going to talk about it for six movies. Oh, wow.

Woof. Well, yeah, they kind of tell us, right? Yeah, well, right. During the exorcism, she sees something and it's, it fucks her up or whatever. And she didn't eat for eight days. Here's what was funny about that because he's sort of telling the story like, oh my, here's what happened. You'll never, you know, and it's this guy who we talked about earlier who was mentally ill

and then, like, killed himself and his wife or something. So that's great. But when they say, when he says, and she saw something, what is showing when he says that is the guy holding her face like this and it's a guy grabbing her face. So I was like, well, is it the guy grabbing your face? That's a pretty scary thing to see that. That would be scary.

Pretty dramatic, yeah. It's weird that you're talking around it when like clearly she's being attacked. Like, is that what it was? Right. No, I guess not. No. So now it's the next night and Drew and Officer Skeptic or Man in the cameras some more. And this is where the cop, he goes for some tea and he sees something mysterious

out the window and I'm like, dude, you know you're there checking for fucking ghosts. Right? Yeah. You obviously, you take a fucking camera or something like that. So, but he goes, he looks out and hears this voice whisper, look what she made me do. Right. And then he like, he bursts out the back door like he's going to sneak up on the ghost or whatever, but no. Yeah.

What is his plan? Right. What is he thinking? Yeah. He's a cop. Yeah. That's true. He's going to try to taste.

Honestly, the fact that he didn't, yeah, the fact that he didn't like unload. a revolver into the ghost. It was the 70s. So I guess it was like maybe a little different I don't think it was. Like the gun would have been older

or what we think? We're not gun people. We don't know what the gunned battle would be. Yeah. I do love the optimism of Lydia that maybe there was a time when cops were at murdering. Not as much maybe.

So but then, but there's a jump scare made and this is suicide made right now. She's going to be, she's like, I'm the main ghost. and we're like, I don't think that you are. I don't think you are.

God, I couldn't keep right. I was so confused. Why is she scaring them? Like, wouldn't she be on the same side? That's not exactly. I want to go. What do we need is the post show. I need the post show where,

okay, come out of everybody. All the ghosts. Yes. Like a reunion. What was the thing that you did win and what? Like, because the kid, the little boy, I think, would be on the bear side. Andy Cohen, Bravo.

Like you get him. Yeah. And like, people getting a fist fight. Maid ghosts and Bathsheba just go at it. I would watch that. Rory's not trying to scare anybody. Why is the maid trying to scare anybody? I don't get it.

Right. No, it makes no fucking sense. I think the maid's just hanging out. Also, credit to the cop. The copter pops is a, sees a ghost with blood running down her slashed open wrists and goes, there's a woman dressed as a maid out here. Yeah, he's like, there's a suicidal ghost maid. But then the little sleepwalking girl goes through, and all the cameras are going

off as she's walking by, and they're like, wait a minute, those cameras are set to ghost. There must be a ghost walker with her. Walking upstairs in the dangerous death house and the dad, very naturally from office space is like, oh, we got to stop her because whatever's happening doesn't look safe. She might be sleeper. We've established

she's sleepwalks. That's a real thing, right? So, and then the the grifters are like, no, no, let this happen. Let's play out. Let her cook. And then she goes up and gets locked in a room by a demon. And like, God knows what happens there. But they never. It's the room with the haunted fucking wardrobe that we know is haunted, right?

Yeah. I can't believe the warrants are like, no, let's let it play out. We need this proof. This will be great for the movie or something, you know? Priests is going to love this. Okay, no, I'm not doing this. The Vatican's going to eat this up. Yeah, well, that's it.

They got to get proof of the demon haunting. If we don't let the demon lead her into the wardrobe, it's entrapment. You have to, the demon has to ask for weed. You can't offer the demon weed. So, but then they break into the room and they can't find her. And I'm like, well, obviously she's in the fucking haunted. Wardrobe is in the wardrobe. And she went into the wardrobe and she's in the wardrobe.

And then to fucking Lydia's best worst here, right? So there's already doors everywhere in the house. And now we've got the wardrobe, which has a door in it. And there's going to be a secret door behind the door in the fucking wardrobe too. There's like a secret escape tunnel that they find. Yeah. The Narnia hole. Okay.

So and Lorraine is like, okay, well, I guess there's a creepy crawl space. I should probably crawl around in it, right? So she goes through there and there's a bunch of creepy old toys and she sees like a dust silhouette where the haunted music box goes. That is come. Yeah. Noah. Yeah. Yeah.

There's like some playboys in there. This is just where that little boy. I don't undo your work. So. But then she's, but as she's looking at all of this stuff and she finds the creepy noose or whatever, she falls to the floor. Yeah. Like, literally finds a noose like as part of this like place where a child was hiding. Why is that there?

I just want to know just construction-wise what happened to build-wise. The kid is like Lasso, hooray! She falls through the entire is she in the wall?

The basement. All the way through the walls to the basement. So there's no floor of any kind. Fire break. No, yeah. It's well, okay, it's even more than that question.

I timed it. She fell for 5.1.19 seconds, which would be about 440. About the height of the London eye. I did the math. And she's not even like stunned. No. She just gets up and she's fine for the rest of the movie.

She doesn't even have any ghost bruises. Yeah. And then we get Ed, he's running around checking, knocking on on the walls. Did you fall in this one, hon? No? No? How about this one? She's very lucky there was no like duct work or pipes or anything like that as she's falling.

Or wires. Like, oh, pipe to the crotch. Bump, pop. Yeah. And she like falls around and falls head first. Yeah. So, yeah, but then, but he's just. looking for her. And to his credit, she doesn't yell up like, I'm in the basement, you know,

where she could do at any point. But then she's, she's in the basement. She hears a ghost giggle. Right. So she comes out. Now who's giggling and why? I don't fucking know. This is, this is Rory's mom who killed him. Oh, she's giggling. Mommy's giggling. But it's like, it's a little girl giggling, isn't it? It sounds like a little girl giggling at first, but then it sounds like crying a little bit later. So I don't know exactly what the transition was, but maybe it was crying the whole time. There we go. Yeah. But so she's summoning the ghost kid with the music box now, right? Because she had the music box with her.

And then this is where she sees the portless, portly ghost lady that kind of like slowly turns towards her. I think that's Roy's mom. Yeah. Terrible costuming. That was pretty fucking creepy. That part creepy to fuck out. So then she, this is where she has the realization. She possessed the mother to kill the child, right?

Is that one? Yeah. She says this big thing. And right as she does that, we see that the ghost is completely capable of just kill. stuff on the tone. Like the ghost is literally moving her, like bashing her, like doing whatever. And so you're like, well, why cut out the middleman?

Like you could just kill whoever you want, ghost, apparently. I mean, you could throw people through walls and shit. Yeah, yeah, exactly. But as she's running away from the basement, as she has this realization, she leaves behind the locket that's connected to her daughter. Well, like, it gets caught. The ghost like grabs it or something because it's like it catches at her name.

I thought it just caught on like the wall or something. I don't know. Free stuff. Free stuff. Yeah, right, right. Got it. Oh, and then the demon goes around because they put up all these crucifixes to, like, piss off the demon. So then it goes around, like, batting them all down, like a satanic tabby. Yeah.

For the record, I'm Jewish. Yeah, right. So, but then the demon starts, like, dragging one of the kids around by her hair. Nancy, yeah. Yeah. Again, cut out the middleman. Sounds like you're quite capable of killing. Yeah, obviously.

It drags the girl around her hair. and then Lorraine cuts it and that ends it? That's the hair. Is she getting the hair? So the ghost doesn't go. I can only grab this part. I'm just going to grab her again. How do you know where the in the hair it was grabbing?

Yeah, exactly. She cuts off the ghost's finger. Ow, fuck. Oh, that sucked. But apparently they got all that shit on camera, right? So now they've got enough evidence to convince the Catholic Church who demands video evidence to confirm their beliefs. Because the church has a member's only policy when it comes. exercising the deaf demons that are in your house?

Like, that's pretty harsh, man. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Yeah, sign up for Catholic Church Plus. Yeah. Still going to be ads, but we will do your exercise for you. Right, right. But he's like, I'll be back, but Lorraine won't because of the psychic toll this all takes on her.

And he's like, I think she'll be back. Yeah. And then Lorraine is, she's out at the dock and she sees a dead kid in the water. It's her daughter. Yeah. So she hears mommy and then walks out to the. the dock. And the kid is in the dead marshes from Lord of the Ring. Yeah. Clearly. And so you're like, is the kid going to drown? You would think naturally would

be the danger? No. And it won't even be the danger that Judy's in later in the movie. No. It's nothing. That's what I'm saying. It's like not even related in any way. No, but she's out of vision, damn it. So then, okay, so now everybody goes to a motel even though they said that wouldn't help earlier in the movie. And mom's still acting like she's not secretly demon possessed. So I'm like, oh, well, man, this demon is pulling it the fuck. off. I'm sorry. Like, Lorraine is a terrible clairvoyant. If she, like, can't even suspect that Carolyn is possessed at this point.

She's been acting incredibly weird. Now they're going to go off to a place. Like, she knows what the demon's trying to do. She's trying to possess moms to kill their kids. Like, why in the world would you not separate Carolyn from everybody else then? Let's leave this mom with her kids. Yeah. Cut to all the demons at the front desk trying to see if they can share a room.

I don't understand. If there's two beds in the room, how can it be different? how many people are checking in. Like, why would that change the price? Does Rory count as a dog because I'm not paying extra? Is Rory an adult because he was a kid when he died? But now he's like 200.

Do you have like a kids eat free thing at the breakfast buffet? Oh, do you have a waffir maker? I love a wab. I can't reach it because I'm hanging from the ceiling. I love it. Can use my feet. Yeah, yeah.

One time I went and they had chocolate chip mix and regular mix. Do you guys have that? I didn't write. So then the priest comes in and he's like, he's like, or no, sorry, they bring the priest, the video and he's like, I've never seen something so demonic in my life. But they didn't sign up for Catholic Plus.

These people look pretty Protestant to me. Yeah. But he says, you know, because it's Ed and, you know, it brings a lot of business to the Catholic Church, he'll fast track that exorcism. Networking. Yeah. Yeah, it's all about who you know.

So, okay. So then we head in. we have to check in on little Judy Warren and damn it if the locket isn't getting possessed, right? I guess the lockets are connected like the Palantir. Yeah. Yep.

And then she walks around the house and they've got creaky doors and creaky stuff. I know. I said, can someone WD40? You're the guy. Everybody would know to WD40 their fucking hinges. Also, doesn't this feel really selfish to you? Like, Beth Sheba has her own house.

Like, why are you going to other houses too? Just hunt your own. Yeah, exactly. So wait, 14 room house. Lady and who's the hanging lady then? Hanging lady is Bathsheba. The portly woman is Lori's mom.

Oh, okay. So the main bad... Because you know that that ghost is watching this movie and it's like, thank you, Lydia, I like, I see you. Because she has since done GLP ones and she actually looks amazing. And we're so proud of her, but I like love that we don't identify her that way. But she's stuck in her ghost dress from the time. She didn't have to.

She didn't have to. It was for her. Exactly. Exactly. So, okay. So, but then, so the daughter's running around. She's looking for a jump scare in the house. Mom and dad are nowhere to be found because it's the 70s and eight years old. You know, old enough, take care of yourself back then, I think.

Oh, the grandma's there or whatever. Oh, that's right. Yeah, no, the grandma is there. I would not agree to babysit in a ghost house. I'd be like, come on over the Graham Grahams. Yeah. Does Graham Graham not have a house? And leave the locket, like leave all your stuff.

Well, but then here's the other fucking thing is she's looking around for the jumps. she goes into the room full of demon-possessed shit. And I'm like, there's not even a lock on that fucking door. I know. I was like, why hasn't anyone called CPS on his family? Like, this is insane. Absolutely insane that this is allowed to have. What are the host called CPS at that point?

You are 1,892 cum loads on that samurai armor. A child does not belong in that room. Exactly. The number gross and gross. Every time you talk about you like. Yeah. No, he's just because I'm doing it on the brakes. Yeah.

Yeah. So, but then she runs and she hides in this, in this room and then like the darkness comes inside the room with her or something. I don't know what the fuck that means. But there's a ghost in a rocking chair and damn it if it's not Annabelle. Oh my God. I hate this so much. This is so stupid. You hate it for different reasons.

I hate it. Yeah, because it's fucking stupid. So she teleported through the locket and then that then was able to get in the ghost room. And then she's holding Annabelle in a rocking chair. but then Annabelle's head turns. Yes. So who's that? I don't know.

I think it's like, you know, sometimes you guys come to New York and we like get to hang out a little bit. I think that's what's happening with Bath Sheba. I wouldn't know because that hasn't happened the last few times. Okay, but you know what I'm saying? And then Beth Sheba. I think that's a Bathsheba Annabelle moment. It's like you're just hanging out, you know? Too busy.

And they're just having fun. They're seeing a show together. They're getting dinner. Right, yeah, exactly. First off, why is the rocking chair in there? Is that rocking chair always in that room? I guess. That's the rocking chair.

But like, I thought the lady was going to turn, you know, but the doll does. And you're like, I don't, who is the doll in this situation? And then the doll, like, throws the rock, like, like dad, like, dogs gets home and they, they grab the daughter right before the doll chucks the, yeah. A rocking chair flings hits the wall. The dad, again, this guy is the easiest job in Hollywood. He's probably made a billion dollars on these movies. He has no reaction to this.

He grabs the girl and the rocking chair, p, and he's like, okay, so why are you in there? I told you not to go in there. And they check on Annabel, but her cage is still locked. So this scene makes even less sense. Annabel couldn't have touched the cards. You shuffled them. It's a ghost. Why would that?

But I loved it. What's the part? She's a doll. The ghost is also invested in gaslighting the small girl. The ghost is like, well, shit, the rocking chair didn't get her. So I'm going to lock. I'm going to make it look like nothing happened. Once you're dealing with the Warrens in their fucking room full of haunted shit,

you got to find new. audiences, right? Clearly. Because he's just going to duck out of the way of the chair and be like, all right, I'll see you tomorrow. So then, okay, so now Roger pulls up at the motel and the kids are in distress. It looks like mom has taken two of the daughters, Christine and April,

and she's like driving off and all suspect. Going to obviously murder them. Obviously it's going to murder. And hey, look, in real life, if you have credible reason to think that your wife is about to kill your kids, the person that you call should not be Ed fucking Warwick. Yeah, call all the police.

Yeah. But they call Ed and he's like, she's going to go back to the house. That's where the finale obviously takes place. He's like, oh, right. Good thing she didn't decide to just drown her kids in the car. Anywhere else? Yeah, yeah, exactly. Then everybody on my Facebook would be like, actually Ed Warren did it.

No, it's her husband. Actually, actually the office case guy did it. Roger, yeah. So, but Ed tries to leave Lorraine at home because it's too dangerous, but she's coming again. And I'm like, we had this scene already. So, okay. So they get to the house. The cop, like, officer cop is there with him. He's, like, escorted them there, lights and sirens, right?

He shoots his way into the house. He shoots his way in. So they try to get into the door for, like, two seconds. One fucking try. And then he shotgun blast the door. They very well could be right there. Like, the mother and the daughters could be right there. He shotguns the whole door.

They don't even try kicking it first. Yeah. Yeah. He don't even like nudgett first. They're like knock, knock, all right, shoot it. It's got a window on it. It's got a fucking window that you can break through and reach. You know where like you do it and your key doesn't work super well?

And so you got to do like, oh, okay, real strong, real strong, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, right. Jiggle hard. Jiggle, lift. I got this. I got this. So, okay, but they need to take her to the priest, right? So, because she's all demoned up.

Carolyn is. So they go to take her out, but the demon burns her skin when they try to leave her out of the house. And you're like, hmm. Oh, I guess we have to do the rest of the movie in the, the house. We only have the one location. Yeah, me and Thomas are filled with demons. That's why we never leave our house. Yeah, right. Right. No, I mean, I'm being possessed and that's why I have to stay in work. I just want to say, like, this poor mom didn't deserve all of this. Like, you think about how wonderful of a mother she was at the beginning. And, like, moms do too much. And this is just messed up.

Like, she doesn't need this on top of all of that. To be clear, this is why they eventually parted ways with the Warrens, because the Warrens were like, oh, you're possessed. And she was like, I don't want to play anymore. Yeah. Yeah, this isn't fun. So, but she gets demon dragged down into the basement so they could do the thing there, right? Yeah. There's a great moment. The sheet thing is cool.

It's good. Yeah, yeah. There's a great fucking moment where they're rolling around with her and one of them goes, are you okay? I'm like, nobody's okay, man. What the fuck are you? I'm going to be great right now. I know.

The Warren's just underreact so hard on this. It's weird. I don't get it. Is this weird? Are they trying to play like, oh, this is just a Tuesday for us? I guess, yeah. They go through this all the time. Is this where mom John Wicks everybody in the room?

Yes. Yes. This was so fucking funny. That was insane. Podcast listener, I know I am prone to exaggeration. It was less than a thousand loads on that samurai suit. I'm sorry. I wanted to make you laugh.

It was only 900. 900 plus. But when I tell you that this woman completely, legitimately martial arts, fight choreography style beats the shit out of all the men in the room. Yeah, literally. is just like, just, we're just watching a woman. She bites the cop.

It is a straight shot from a John Wick movie. It's fantastic. I know the director of this movie very clearly was born and was like, just want to do like a little fight scene. Yeah. Let's just do a little fight scene. So,

but eventually they tire to a chair, they realize that the priest will never get there in time. So Ed's going to have to do this exorcism himself. There's only one person who could do it. Yeah, right. God, this is so funny to me. because I don't understand any of this.

So we just see him flipping through his tiny Bible. And it looks like the thing that he can't do that real priests can is read. Read last. I have a complaint about this. Don't you think you should be off book for exorcism? You know exactly what it's just said. Latin paragraphs. The ghost stage manager is like, oh, come on.

This is awful. This is awful. Jesus. Like every man in a community theater production, he's not off. Oh, God. You knew this was coming. Got Eli. It's months we've rehearsed.

Too real. He's married to one of the ghosts and that's why he's a straight actor. Okay. I will say this though that was so funny because like this whole movie presumably has been building up to like head camp can't exercise people. He's not officially allowed. And then he blows it so fucking hard. Yeah. He instantly is like, um, no.

Oh, fuck. Please cut it out. What is. What up, fam? It's me. It's your boy. Ed Warren. It gets a million times worse.

And I was like, oh, shit, he read the make it ten times stronger Latin. Like, fuck. Why did they put that Latin next to the other Latin in the Bible? Because they start with the don'ts. It's like a gufus and galant section. This is why I should have become a priest. I wanted the demon to make fun of his Latin. You know, he's like, that's not.

Oh, my God, dude. And then the book switches to English. Did you notice that? I'm like, no, well, but is he still leading? Because he's like a tourist. He's like a fucking tourist. He started with this shitty Italian that he learned on the tapes. And he was like, I'm sorry.

Where is the bathroom? Do you even go speaking English? The power of price compels you. Who's the suicidal made on the side of? Because I don't want to be glamour. She seems like she was on her own journey. So then we've got this moment where like there's birds outside attacking the car and shit. at, you know, Drew is still upstairs.

He's yelling for April. He's looking for the little girl because she's missing. But then there's a bird attack while he's doing that, right? Which means the demon is like in the lady and he's doing it. You just beat the shit out of everybody. And he's doing the Latin and the demon's like, ah, throw a, throw a pigeon. Croes. Cross.

At the kid. Like, car, car. Because she knew Drew was out there, right? And this is her big moment. Controls birds all of a sudden. She's been stuck in the basement for a century at this point. And then she's like, I want to. everyone to get a little bit of Bathsheba. Drew's out in the car. I guess I'll throw a bird at him.

Yeah. Yeah. I could say an Asian slur. He seems Asian. Oh no. And I am a hateful ghost. There is a great moment because they've got her like they've got a sheet thrown over and she's tied up or whatever. And there's a great moment. Well, during the exorcism, she starts like projectile vomiting blood, which looks awesome from under the sheet, right? So disgusting. And so meanwhile, Drew, he hears the little girl crying. So he just starts ripping up the floor beneath him. And I'm like, I feel like you need the homeowner's permission. I wanted the whole exorcism to finish and they get upstairs and they're like, Drew.

What the fuck were you doing? You're paying for this, right? She was just in the room below you. Yeah, right. This door. You can just go under the house. Someone threw a bird at me and I kind of freaked out. Now, correct me if I'm wrong.

It turns out that the little girl was successfully hiding from the scary ghost. I think. And then the minute the guy digs her out of the floor, the ghost is like activated. No, because he announces where she is. Like an idiot. He's like, I found the girl who's hiding for her life.

She's right here. The ghost can hear that, I guess. And then she gets her because the guy, like, I didn't know you could hide from a ghost. Was that always an option? Like, if I get in the closet, then it doesn't know where I am. Well, I mean, Rory was pretty successful for a while, it seems. So maybe he, like, taught people what to do. Well, yeah, eventually.

Wow. So now, so they're still doing the exercise. There's a moment here where Ed literally has to dive roll out of the way of a shelf, which is awesome. There's a lot of dive rolling in an exorcism. There's a great moment. They're doing a scary. They're doing a spookumubs where she floats. They do a spookumubs.

But the moment, they're building the moment too slowly. So there's a moment where it's just kind of over. Yeah, right. And they're like, well, that hasn't helped. Water break. Yeah. Well, and then she like turns upside down. She's in the chair.

The chair floats her. She turns upside out and she turns upside out and she just banging and gets the, the floor right here. And I'm going like, well, that is a very inefficient way to get out of this basement. And then the demon just drops her. Yeah, but not on her head, which I thought was cool. I don't know how she did that. Yeah. She had the presence of mind to tuck the... They do the comedy bit where they're like, put her down. And the

demon drops her and they're like, no, you said put her down. Yeah. But this is where he announces that he's found little girl and the demons like, oh, they found my snacks. So she runs and she grabs them. I guess Satan has her now or something. Yeah. They're yelling at Bathsheba. I don't know who's fucking who in terms of the ghosts at this point. But just then Ed condemns her to hell.

And they convinced the mom to fight from the inside. He used to read the seventh sentence. Yeah. But you know what? How is this is hard? I think the problem is that because they said Bathsheba finally. And like that got her attention. So why didn't you just say her name earlier?

Yeah. Like that's what made it work was that they said Bathsheba. So then you got to see Bathsheba. Exactly. Yeah. She's like, what's the character? Isn't it? Fuck.

Lessons for everybody. He's going, he's like doing a bunch of shit about the suicidal maid and the maid's like, I don't really belong here. Yes. I have bipolar disorder. I literally just hang. That's all I'm doing. But again, it's like on women to fix all of this because Carolyn is like locked in this

by herself while she's being exercised and they can't do anything about it. No one can reach her. No one can help her. She has to do it herself, which is insane. On women again. The clairvoyant. lady, right? Because she reaches down. And I love this because the thing she has to say is, you actually kind of like your family. Your kids are awesome. Read the beach.

Wait. So then was the problem that this woman just didn't like her family enough? She forgot that she liked her family. Yeah. That kind of put to your point, Hannah, that was like a kind of a weird sexism thing where it's like you just need to like remember your family. Yeah, just need a mom up a bit. Yeah. So, but now she's fine. She goes out into the morning son. She apologizes to her daughter for trying to sacrifice her to Satan and everything's fine now. Yeah. She throws up all the demon. Yeah. But she does it for a little too long and they do that thing. You know when someone throws up in front of you and you're like, oh, are you?

And then they start to throw up again. That happens in the movie and it's not a comedy beat. Right? She's like, and they're like, now the demon. Okay. Now the demon. Now the demon. The first one was the demon. The second one was just breakfast. Wait, I got to do the weird three spits. Yeah, that spit where I actually don't want my lips to touch the thing I'm spitting out. You give me some crackers. He still face the demon. But everybody sure is happy.

And I'm like, it's not a happy time yet, guys. Officer Skeptics sure believes in ghosts now. Yeah. I'll take a guy with a gun anytime. He's got his face is bleeding. Yeah. She bit a chunk out of his face. I wanted them to be like, hey, Greg, not the time.

Yes, right. Sorry, I was just trying to lighten stuff up. Did you see me shoot the door? People could have been behind it. Right. Yeah, there was a six daughter. Lydia thinks I might have been better now. It doesn't prove we're wrong.

So, yeah, but the Warrens get back home. She calls to cancel the exorcism, right? Yeah, you guys call Father Gordon. I love that. What's that phone call? You know, actually, we turns out. Yeah, we don't. Do you guys keep the deposit?

They're not hunted anymore. So but then, of course, Ed puts the music box up on his shelf and they get a phone call about another, you know, we've got another case in Long Island. That's the Amityville horror, by the way. No, oh, really?

Yeah. No rest for the weary. They just, the molar and sculling. I wanted to watch the demons all doing ice breakers. All right, I'm music box. The monkey. Zim-Zem. Simps up.

So, and then we get this Ed Warren quote and I think to myself like how sad would you be if like at the end of your life they made a movie about you and this was the best quote they could dig up right this is the best they could find because it's this dumb ass like fairy tales are true the devil exists you know believe everything

because I make more money that way and it's so indicative of how fake this is because like if any of this were real your quote would be like Jesus fucking crap have you guys seen any of what we did like we got video of it is fucking crazy man But the quote is like, well, there's a lot of weird shit out there.

So, yeah, but then, and then we zoom in on the mirror and then we zoom in on the mirror and Annabelle's like, I'm sure I'll be more relevant in the sequel. It seems weird to even. I'm their roommate. What's going on? And then we just get like pictures of like the real people as though that's going to make us believe in this shit, right? Like, but these people actually had pictures. makes she realize how ugly real people are relative to celebrities. You're like, Jesus Christ, especially people from that era.

Yeah. Like, woo. All right. Well, Thomas, Lydia, thank you so much for kicking off the spookacular with us this week. I know it was a big sacrifice for some more than others. Lydia will never forgive you. I survived. She was like traumatized by this.

Yeah. Well, okay, so we want to start working off that trauma. So if our listeners want to hear more from you, where should they go? Oh, man, a whole lot of spots. Check out where there's woke. Yeah, the one that we're on together the most. Yeah, check that out. We've been having a lot of fun there.

Covering for now on gavel-gabble. That's fun, spooky times. For now, I am J and Doe. Yeah, sounds for our Halloween smoothie. Hey, really sell the Halloween angle, Thomas. All right. And, of course, you'll find that link to the show notes along with Thomas' other shows as well. And while that does it for our review of The Conjuring,

that's not going to do it for the episode just yet, because we still need to spook ourselves out again next week. So, Eli, tell us what's on deck. After enduring a lifetime of verbal abuse from her mother, a compassionate daughter makes the difficult decision to take the aging grandmother into her home, but grandma doesn't come alone. We'll be stepping back into the right family film of ours

with Grandma's Demon. Oh, fuck, yeah. Oh, my God. So much AI. I'm so... Oh, no. It's a new one. Damn. All right. Well, at least the horror junkies aren't going to try to warn me off of that one. So with that to look forward to it, we're going to bring episode 578 to a merciful close. Once again, a huge thanks to Lydia and Thomas for all their help today.

And a reminder to check the show knows to hear more from them. And an equally huge thanks to all the Patreon donors that help make this show go. If you'd like to call yourself among their ranks, you can make a per episode donation at patreon. on dot com slash gone off on thereby earn early actions to an ad-free version of every episode you can also have a ton by leaving a five-star review and by sharing the show on all your various social media platforms if you enjoyed this show we'd be sure to check out our sibling shows this gave the a little citation needing d and d minus and the skeptic read available wherever podcast live if you have questions comments or cinematic suggestions you can email godolphin movies at gmail dot combe

chimpers and our theme song was written and performed by ryan slott make of evil drafts on mars all the other music was written and performed by our audio show morgan carc and was used with permission thanks again for giving us a chunk of your life this week for heath and and Eli Bostic, I'm no Lucius promised to work hard to earn the moot truck next week. Until then, we'll leave you with the American graffiti club. Carolyn finally divorces Roger, lives her best life. She's glowing. All those people that said this wasn't awful enough for us to do sent emails insisting

it's actually pretty good if you consider it in the context of its time. 1,984 loads. 15 movies. They are slated to me. 15 movies. Are you kidding me? It's already worth $2.9 billion. So, of course, they're going to do as many movies as they possibly can.

The 11th comes out in 2027, but poor fucking Patrick Wharton is contracted to 15. I was just going to say, is there a luckier person than Patrick Wilson? Because he does nothing in these movies. Really? He does nothing. Yeah. Like at least the ones I've seen. Same performance.

At least what's her face has to act. Yeah. And she's like, I like her a lot. I should have you like her. Great. All right. Interstitial 2. Let us know when you're ready to go. Just going to watch the movie real quick.

You can do it in four times. I think I could guess what it was about, but... Really, honestly, you didn't have to watch this shit. It's true. It's sad to know that now, but yeah, right. I could have just... I could have just vamp on the Eli's notes. Two seconds.

Last time it was two minutes. All just combobulated. Here we go. Yeah. Time does go down. Yep, you're nailing it so far. You're on schedule. I'm done.

I'm ready. This content is scanned credentialed, which means you can report instances of harassment, abuse or other harm to their hotline at 617-249-4-255 or on their website at creator accountability network.org. This podcast is a production of Puzzle and a Thunderstorm LLC and was created without the use of generative AI. Its contents may not be used for AI training.

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