God Awful Movies - 62: GAM062 Expelled: No Intelligence Allowed

Episode Date: October 25, 2016

In this week's episode, Noah, Heath, and Eli join you live from QED in Manchester, England for an atheist review of "Expelled: No Intelligence Allowed." In this obituary to Ben Stein's career, the monotone gopher of humanity posits a direct link between Darwinian evolution and Nazi death camps, and doesn't even have the decency to beat around the bush about it. --- If you’d like to make a per episode donation, please check us out on Patreon: http://patreon.com/godawful Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars. If you’d like to hear more, check out their Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts

Un chapuzón, con el hábito, tu serie favorita y en medio de tu siesta. ¡Ey! ¿Has visto esta? No sabes la de planazos que hay este verano en Guésville Parque Sur, con ciertas obsesiones con DJs, clases de yoga, talleres con martes y actividades con niños, te apuntas. Un sueño de verano, And for the listeners at home, that was visual humor. Yeah, I was a fuck you for not coming to England. Yeah, there you go. There are people in England who are like,

sorry, I can't make it. Rapportee, Trumpfy, and I was like, fuck you. I flew nine hours next to a crying baby and Noah reacting to a crying baby. You can come across your three by three foot country. I was quiet most of that time. I was very quiet about on the airplane, whatever. So, oh, so I love this line where I've been saying this.

No one killed a baby. I just... God awful. Movie. Movie. Movie. Moobie, Moobie, Moobie Welcome back to the Gamcast where each week we sample another selection from Christian cinema because at some point We all got no no hugs. I'm your host no illusions and we're coming to you live from QED and Manchester, England. Let him hear you, Manchester. Thank you. You are too kind. And of course, joining me from backstage here is my good friend, ladies and gentlemen. Please welcome Heath and Wright. I'm gonna give you that seat because you're taller and look it go up down up like that.

And of course also joining me from backstage is my... Eli? Yes. Do you have clothes on? Yes. Like all the way? Great question. Alright, you know what? I'm going to be specific here.

When you walk out, will anyone be able to see your dick? Also a great question. Yes. Can we do something about that, please, before the... I put it away. Okay, all right. And joining me from backstage is my bad friend, giving up for Eli Bosnik!

Oh! You said we were dressed in British. Are you going for chimney sweepers? Yeah, this is chimney, chimney, night, chip. They're all uncomfortable because you're dressed like people. You got to dress like they do. This is how... We got a little...

That is, that's our cultural appropriation. We'll have none of that. You're in in blackface. You're in fucking blackface. I am not. You're in Michael Jackson Blackface. I am in chimney sweep with face. It's a burnt umber to be fair.

I'm a Kardashian at best. That guy said it was okay. Did you buy any chance to bring normal clothes? I did. They're under the table. Perfect. All right well Eli is preparing for the record. I guess we can get started. So tell us Heath what will we be breaking down today? All right we want just a little to the left. Perfect cool. We watched expelled no intelligence allowed full movie YouTube. Expelled no intelligence allowed full movie YouTube Excellent movie. It's the story of how big science has a glaring

Data-centric bias. Yes. Yes. There's also another story to it. I don't know if anybody caught it more importantly. It's about the Antisemitic Finches that started a hot-poss Didn't see that coming, that's the other part. And? Nice. Yep, you're where I'll go. Oh, yeah. Just by all means, shill.

It's not bad enough we had a fucking Donald Trump bad on our show. I'll do a live read for Donald Trump. Brought to you by Donald Trump. Maka. And Eli, how bad was this movie? Well if you love Michael Moore movies but you hate how factual and fair they are, you will love this movie. This movie is the equivalent of shitting yourself while thinking that someone else is embarrassed.

If you have shit filling your pants and you're like, you look super silly right now. If I had full on blacked up and then went outside to argue with Andy about his ring of boys, that is the equivalent of this movie. By the way, if anyone sees him, the police are here. Because I called them. And is there anything you guys like to nominate this one for being the best at being the worst at? Oh, yeah, definitely.

I'm best worst, discussion of the Holocaust, that was not a denial. It was, yeah. Or it might even be worse that this might be more offensive than some Holocaust. If you were polite about your Holocaust denial, it wouldn't be as bad as this movie. It's because denying it, it's not as bad as pretending it was pigeons.

Which is essentially what this movie is. It's like, oh yeah, the Holocaust happened and it was crazy. Can I go with best words not knowing when you're describing yourself? Yes. John Lennox in this movie is like, they're so biased. Also, they're frat. We see no frat, you know? They look unhealthy.

That's all I'm saying. 20 to 30 minutes of cardio a day. John, you just farted blood. Every time. You did. You farted blood. You farted blood. I have one other nomination.

Best initials for a main character who's constantly wrong. Yes. Half my notes. Literally, I'm looking at it right now, half of them start with BS colon. So. And they end with colon BS. Yeah, exactly. All right, well, a lot of the audience already sat

through this bad shirt or so. We're not going to keep you waiting much longer. We're going to pause for a quick break. And when we come back, we'll break down all the motivated fucktardery that is expelled. No intelligence allowed. From the makers of expelled and nothing the fuck else comes a documentary unafraid to ask the hard questions. Did Sandy Hook really happen?

Seriously, you're a monster. A casual Google would tell you you're wrong and that it clearly happened. It's a film about a supposed school shooting and the holes in their story. Okay, what about Columbine? That happened. Pearl Harbor. Also happened. Yesterday.

What the fuck is wrong with you? Because the way we see it, a documentary isn't about what you know. The gun should bullets. Yes, fuck! But what you're willing to pretend you what you know. The gun should bullets. Yes, fuck! But what you're willing to pretend you don't know. Do we know that kids can't catch bullets? So stupid. Rip-held.

Coming this summer. And we're back for the breakdown. And holy shit if this movie isn't gonna start off going full Nazi commie, which they seem to think is the same thing. Are they not aware that the Berlin Wall and Nazis are separate? It's very much not. Also, this movie makes it zero seconds into this movie before it understands it's describing

itself because they put their own names on the Berlin Wall and they're like, created by it. Because they've got a picture of the Berlin Wall which is like the bad thing in this movie and then it's like created by Ben Put it just above or below but not on And then we get this okay, so this is probably the bullshittiest moment in the movie you may not know why So the movie starts off with Ben's stiny so I'd go on stage in front of this packed crowd at Pepperdine University, or at least that's what they'd like you to think. He is not.

No, there are three Pepperdine students that this thing. Everybody else is extra. Pepperdine says this. Yes, Pepperdiney is confirmed that this was all extras. So if you watch the movie, that is it. They paid that crowd to come in and clap for Ben Steiney. And they don't even do a good job as extras. Like, we could convince everyone in this room to do a better performance because the entire Like, we could convince everyone in this room to do a better performance, because the entire shots

of the audience are people like this. And then at the end, they're like, standing out, they said an extra 10. They said an extra 10. We get muffins. We're getting pizza. We get muffins. I'm amazed.

And basically, the speech he's giving is just, oh, the angles! Get up! Literally, I guarantee you they were like, like Ben we can't pay you for this scene but every time you say freedom we'll give you five dollars and he was like I'm gonna hack the system I'm gonna make this a $25 million payback. So basically this whole movie is just gonna be a series of people saying they were fired for being intelligent design folks or whatever and every one of them is increasingly foolish yet but we start off with my personal favorite. This is the Richard Sternberg guy.

Now, the story he will tell you is that he got fired from the Smithsonian because he published an article that was peer reviewed y'all that was in favor of intelligent design that is absolutely not what fucking happened but of course all we get is been signs you know pseudo bullshit uh... skepticism like are you sure about that now when you say the things you say do you say them skeptic usually one google source is banning his like Google, I don't speak Chinese. This guy claims he was fired for being an intellectual terrorist. That's the word he uses.

Yeah, we water-borted his brain. And that was the problem. But none of this is true. He didn't actually work for the Smithsonian, right? No. He had like an outside on his face. He was an unpaid research assistant, yeah. And also, the peer review process,

the two mentioned, this is the best. This is the greatest. The peer review process, he says it's four biologists, five PhDs total. One of those biologists is him. Yes. Two of those PhDs are him, yes. Yes.

I am. And the other three people, he will are him. Yes. I am. And the other three people, he will not identify. Yes. There's secret, secret peer review. Typical opaque science review. Yes, exactly. So basically, this guy was in charge of this journal.

They would send articles to him. And he was his job to sign the peer review, right? So he assigned this intelligent design article to himself, even though he was nowhere near the most qualified person to do it. He published the thing, but here's the other thing. He also wasn't fired for doing that. Right? He had announced six months earlier that he was going to step down from the journal, so that just happened when it was supposed to happen, and then they gave him a different job in the Smithsonian, a different unpaid research job. Despite choosing peers like a racist lawmaker drawing a voting business. Exactly. Which he was still doing during this movie. During this movie, he was like, I got fired by this Smithsonian.

Hey, Steve, see it? The work party on Friday. It's Karen's birthday. We do cakes. I know it's still. Anyways, I was fired. I'll say five seconds. Five minutes.

I'm doing movie about how evil you are. The only thing this man deserves to be fired for is the fact that his forehead is slowly overtaking the rest of his face, like Hitler overtook Poland. Just... I... foreheads are sexy. Yeah, exactly.

A creationist should not slowly look like they're devolving. LAUGHTER Well, of course, Ben Stein isn't completely convinced. So we get some more of his foes, skepticism, bullshit. And he's like, I wasn't sure about this. So I went to see the head skeptic or whatever. Michael is sure. And we met in a very lovely elevator. And almost too soon. You get it. Jason. So you get it. And basically a couple of people got it. Andy got it. It's not what you're doing there.

Yeah. So so they they sit down. And first of all, by the way, if you're curious how they got all these people, like they got Shermer and Dawkins and PC Myers, who was at least at the time a big deal in atheism, they lied to them. They fucking lied to him right they told them that they they lied to him about what the movie was about They lied to him about what the movie was called the title about yeah, yeah, and then they said later Oh, no, no, we just changed the title after filming But we bought the website for the title that we changed it to six months before we started filming and we changed the tagline in the the movie

Yeah, right right exactly So they lied like crazy to these people to get them in there And then as if that's not bad enough every skeptic or scientist or a person who isn't full of shit that we meet in this movie We meet right after they said they're for right. We all we ever get is their conclusions because they cut the shirmer and he's like and it's bullshit and that's it They never give you any of the reasons why and what's so amazing about this movie is like if they were good at editing They could have made these people look bad, but I feel like after Richard and Shermer and P.C. saw the movie they were like Sure, you can use it. They do the worst job. It's just like they're all their gotcha questions

They're just Michael being like I don't that's a stupid question though and Ben's time being like Are you rolling? They've never heard this before! I can hear you, Ben! Oh! Richard's eyes are based on movement! Just Ben's time holding perfectly still in Richard Dawkins' apartment,

who's too polite to tell him. Oh! Where is Ben Gohn? Shul seems like I should get to sleep now. Nope, he's not leaving. Well, you've been asking about one, he's talking to Sermon, he's like, well, do you believe people should be fired for thinking things?

And he's like, that's not even a question at all. He's like, okay, okay, he's throwing it out a little bit of of time and then he's like, okay, but what about if they got fired for thinking Bad things like that's still not you're not asking me a thing He's like, okay, what if they got fired for for being creationist. He's like that didn't happen He's like, okay, but if you're wondering what if it what if it did? And you're if you're wondering if he ever comes back to Shurmer and is like, will it did happen? Because we have evidence they never do.

He's just in a separate shot later goes, looks like my ghost Shurmer was wrong. Did you say something? No, no, no. It's like saying shit to your mom when she sends you to her room. Yeah, right there in your fucking bitch. Why did you say nothing? Nothing.

Said I have a fucking itch right now. I'm so upset at you and I respect you. So now we get like a rapid fire succession of crazy dumb fucks lying to us about why they were fired. The next one we get is Dr. Carolyn Crocker who got fired for mentioning... mentioning mentioning intelligent she looks like she got the money back from Mary K she's the one she's the one who couldn't sell the lipstick or whatever it is and the the truth of her story is not only in her chemistry class

she was like intelligent design is true the at fossil record is wrong and they were like and students complain so they were like okay well we're not again they didn't fire her they didn't hire her back and then she went to a different not real university where she did the exact same thing in front of reporters if they sent a reporter in her class and she was like Jesus 101 and the reporter was like I'm a reporter and she was like Jesus 101 do you need me to write that down? Yeah, she was foolish yet to and then we get to meet Michael Agnor you guys know Michael Agnor Oh, that's a lovely human being right there and he's any of course he's talking about how like you know

He was pro-winteligent design so everybody hated him and he says at one point He's like you know people had some pretty nasty comments about me and I'm like you haven't met Eli yet He looks like he's playing the world's longest game of chubby bunny He looks like he won't let the bee out of his mouth until it apologizes No, he really he looks like a missing link between Alfred Hitchcock and Droopy dog Which made you why are there still Michael agnors? like a missing link between Alfred Hitchcock and Drupy Dawg. Right? Which make you, why are there still my collagnors out there? Right, right?

And then of course we also get Robert J. Marks, the guy who had to give his grant money back just because it was collected fraudulently. Yeah, collected fraudulently and he put up a fake website. Yeah, with the university's name and everything in it. Right, he basically went on and he was like, I can fuck away your Lyme disease.com. Brought to you by Yale and they were up to. Yeah. Give us the weeply money back and he was like, oppression. He looks like a fifth grader ran out of brown marker when coloring in his beard. It's fantastic. You know his wife was like, so you're gonna go like that and he was like yeah, is it okay? She was like yeah, it's great

And then we get that the astronomer guy Guillermo Gonzalez and this guy's argument is I didn't get ten years like almost everybody doesn't get tenure It's a fact. Yes the fact that you published up creation this book called a privilege planet probably didn't help But that's, you know, they like, and of course, he's like, well, I'm sure I would have got 10-year otherwise, like, yeah, that's kind of what everyone says. Everyone's sure they get 10-year. Maybe you didn't get 10-year because that chimp ripped off your face

and then the doctor's sewed it back on. There's a variety of reasons why. He looks like he should be an undecided voter asking Trump a question. Ah! I just wanna know, is my hair gonna grow back? I'm being known as Reddit MA. And of course, now that wasn't all of the people they had.

They had other people that refused to show their faces. This is not the first time in the movie that it'll say, and trust us, there's a lot of other people that agree with us too. You don't need to say that. They have people in the dark like a 60 minutes and about priests who fuck kids. Right. Like FBI informants like this.

That's how Tweedcoat Mafia was coming to. It's ridiculous. And then we finally get around to asking the question, but what if intelligent designers just bullshit? And I thought, okay, like, you know, at least we're gonna deal with this in the first act of the movie. Yeah, but basically what they're doing here is they're going like, they're trying to say like,

it's not that they don't agree with us. It's not that we're wrong. It's just that they think that intelligent design is the same thing as creationism, but it's not. That's the argument essentially that we're getting from, but they never explain why. Like throughout the movie, they'll be like intelligent design and creationism are different things and Ben doing the skeptic thing goes why and they're like

Guys yeah, no you don't say cut Ben says cut everyone here says And now it's time to for a quick visit to the disco, too. Yeah, the Discovery Institute. They make a big... There is a whole series of scenes in this movie where they show that the Discovery Institute is in a shitty, small, single-floor office. Like, it's a good thing. Yeah. Like, you'd be more impressed by Oxford if it was just a guy shouting truth from the bottom of a well. Well... Three plus three is six.

Now, see, that guy... that guy doesn't have pants. Oh yes, he's got the truth. All right, but see what they're going for here is, hmm, they're causing so much trouble and all they've got is this little four-room apartment here or whatever, and that's what they're shooting for, right? But what they're actually saying is like, the largest organization that's willing to take this idea

seriously is three guys in a fucking office building, off in the corner of some condemned shittin' Seattle. Yeah, Timothy McVeigh worked from home. It didn't make it more impressive. Just some FBI agents go, oh, this is enough factory. But, but according to the disco, the disco toot is not full of shit.

They, and also they're not religious. I love that the bit where they're trying to say, we're not religious, we got a Jew. Literally. Amaz- Amaz- Amaz- Amaz-

Did anyone watch it with subtitles in the subtitles? It is spelled M-O-S-L-E-M emoji of the American flag. Yeah, right. What? The people who subtitled this movie are wrong about things. You have to go several layers into the production to find someone who knew what they were doing.

Yeah, well, and also, because he's talking to this guy from the disco, he's going like, he's like, well, you know, shouldn't all ideas be debated forever, even after they've been disproved? And I was like, yeah, yeah, that's how we should do it. That's how it's supposed to work. He's like, you know, when was the debate settled? And I'm like, how about December 20th, 2005, and the kids miller versus Dover decision, when the fucking Supreme Court of the United States ruled that creationism was intelligent design? Well, this is spoilers for a little later, but it turns out that that's, we just do the Supreme

Court for fun. Yeah, I guess. That's absolutely. They don't, they don't solve. It's just to keep people busy. Yeah. While the lizards are working. And Tom gets it. And also, so he says like, you know, he's like, well, let me send you to some real intellectuals that can help you out and prove that we're not religious. Why don't you start at this Bible university in Los Angeles? A Bible university, and he does the fake skeptic thing like, oh, sir seems like you're into Jesus here. And then in the point where he's supposed to prove that he's not like a church person, he goes, so are you a priest?

And he's like, no, are you a pastor? No. Did you teach Sunday school? Yes. Wait, no, we're supposed to not do. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no be like, have you fucked a rabbit? No, have you fucked a cat? No. And then we wouldn't say, has Eli fucked a pig? That answer is something we don't want. You're British, you get it, your prime minister did that, right? You got a new one now, though. You got a lady.

She killed him. That how it works? You killed the last one, and then I have no idea. I did explain the libel laws here to you, didn't I? Oh, okay. A little stricter. She didn't kill them. Funny jokes.

I'll get sued by Theresa May. I'm up for it. Also, was this the point? Dance off Theresa May. Can I demand a dance off? How does your government work? You can demand a dance off, right? I want to watch Boris Johnson do a dance off. Something about a movie?

Was this the part where they said Stonehenge was evidence of intelligence design somehow? I mean, I always argue that those stones evolved into play That's kind of gonna Yeah, exactly exactly and also we did this is such a minor sense almost not worth bringing up and then he goes to taxes to talk to Demsky and while he's going there they they're playing this little country tune about how evolution is just a theory So the lyrics to this song are fuck you to too. Boy, don't tell me you weren't there. It literally, you weren't there as one of these arguments. That is what you yell at a cop when your wife has a black eye.

It's not an intellectual argument. My free to go? No, that's why my knee is in your back. Am I free? No. I'm in the past-stems and... Yes. And then we also have to meet Steven Meyer, another creationist,

Dush Paggot, calls himself intelligent. He's the one who wrote the article that the guy didn't get fired for putting in the thing. So they meet up at this coffee shop so that Ben can look, pseudo-incredulously ask him, like, how dare you challenge Darwin? He was so smart. Yeah, yeah. Part of his argument was if there's an argument on one side, there's bound to be a argument on the other, like, when did the topology stop beating its wife? How is that useful? Yeah, because he actually makes a good argument that applies to himself. He's like, beware the sound

of one hand clapping, which means like, check your sources and stuff, but he heard actually makes a good argument that applies to himself He's like beware the sound of one hand clapping, which means like check your sources and stuff But he heard that and he was like right only pay attention to the other hand All right lefty it's you and me from now on There's 85 million other hands on the other side doesn't matter Well right right yeah, they ignore that a little bit too And I love to Steven Meyer at one point as well It's gonna be settled by the evidence. I'm like is that past future tense? That before and then also we get away where we go from there

Oh now we go to we go to Paris we go to Paris to meet David Berlinski And I don't speak French heath does were they singing why are there still monkeys at the big? Okay, all right I figured I figured basically Why are there still monkeys at the big? They were okay. All right. I figured I figured basically a two-on-one side of Novoi Pa It's like that. Yeah, that's the same thing I said before, but in bad friend.

And... And... And... You guys love that joke, okay? I edit and then you love that joke. Make you love everything. So can we talk about what was the name? Brilochki.

His appearance first of all is kind of great. He looks like the fanzi got bit by a vampire. He's like halfway to change it. He looks like Christopher Lloyd took a job as a hitman. When long white gloves like Audrey Hepburn. But he's also, he's in that recl- Do you guys remember they were reclining chair? He was in? Yes, they're so inappropriate. They're talking about science and he's like all the way back. Well, but they're also laid out about science. I'm just gonna-

The whole- he's lying literally he's on- he's doing a handstand by the end of this movie. I gotta be- I, this is completely honest. I thought he was all gimp'd up like Hawking or whatever. He was in capture. And he was like, he's literally like this. Like, he's up in the air. I'm like, shit, like a human. I'm sure it's gonna take you seriously,

why are you not afraid that Stephen Hawking's gonna sue us? But he is gimp'd up though, that's a fact. So if there's anything we want you to take away from the show Stephen Hawking is gimp top If you'd like your Stephen Hawking is gimp top t-shirts We don't have those Noah said no. Yes. Yes I say a lot of no So and then we reached the the first of three shitting on Richard Dawkins portions of the film and

You know what there's some good there's some good shitting on Richard Dawkins out there. This isn't it But they shoot him spooky Yeah, yeah, I really shoot Dawkins like they shot the ice man in those ice man Not gonna be like at any point you're like wait when is Richard gonna confess to the murderers that this is about? And Richard is so sweet and confused by the whole process. It's like he's on trial, but he didn't know. He's just sitting there and he's like, oh, fun science documentary.

Excited to be a part of things and Ben's time's like, so. So? You're in my home. So? You're in my home. At one point they had to ask Richard Dawkins to turn the lights out in his own home. Right. He looks scary. The plays are wandering around.

No, scarier. Oh, it's my kids' evidence. My wife. Can we make them dress like ghosts? Like you're always followed by ghosts Hitler's ghost so We'll get there teaser we really will get yeah, yeah, yeah, for unbelievable and but this is where they they like they they pull the little switcher Ruania because we're talking about how bullshit evolution is and all of a sudden we're now talking about how bullshit because we're talking about how bullshit evolution is and all of a sudden we're now talking about how bullshit

A-biogenesis is. He actually says it one way he's like, Ben's science says, well how can there be a theory of life if it doesn't include how life began? It's like, yeah, how can I tell you when I'm gonna be there if I didn't know when time started? Ha ha!

You stop doing any two things there and it makes no fucking sense. You say you're gonna be on time but you can't tell me how to make a watch. Yeah, we're fine. Who's the stupid you can't tell me how to make a watch. Yeah, please. Who's the stupid one now? You're actively pooping, Ben. You're actively pooping.

Mm, am I? Yes, yes, yes. Also, I love the extent they go to, okay, so, you know, yes, we don't know how life began, but there's a big difference between, we don't know and we have no fucking clue. Those are two different statements, but science is not gonna just go out and say yeah we know it was

this they're gonna wait until they actually fucking know but these guys are taking advantage of the whole like well it could be this and it could be that and when maybe it was this and they're like oh you have no fucking idea do you and again the bad editing of this movie plays this really badly because they're like when did time begin we don't know like that's a that's a getcha for some people.

But they let the scientists explain it and be excited and knowledgeable. Right. Which makes them look terrible. Because Richard's like, oh, when it could be that he's excited. It's talking about, he's like, oh, it could be this. And it could be that. And he's like, really intellectually talking about all the theories. He's excited to learn and bend signs just like, fucking idiot. Oh, Christos, man, that's a bitch.

Right, and we haven't mentioned this yet. But during this movie throughout this movie, they keep cutting in with these little black and white stock footage bits or whatever. And it's literally like when the chemistry check us in and then they fired me, they'll show a shot of a guillotine. Right? Like there is no level they want to. A Nazi guillotine.

But you know what, right? None of the things that are the stakes of their movie matter enough, so it's always just like, yeah, and they said you can't make a fake website and then it's like people marching into the gas chamber. Yeah, it's equal sign in front of it and they're like, you get it? Well, you know, this way they're talking to some scientists asking about how life began and he's like, he's explaining, he's like, well, one theory is that molecules could have piggybacked on the back of crystals. That's all the explanation that they give you. And then they cut to this fortune teller guy going,

oh, look into my crystal ball. Literally. But like, your theory here, your hypothesis here, is that the universe was created by a giant omnipotent, undimensional, unbounded by physics fucking grandpa with a beard. Nothing sounds stupid compared to that. Yeah, it's basically they're like, oh, crystals. physics fucking grandpa with a beard nothing so stupid compared to that yeah there it's basically they're like oh crystals our guy didn't wear a hat

dumb they're using the fact that the word crystal is going to be confusing to their audience as their point yes just some guy in bio New Jersey going fucking crystals dumb what her wedding rings made out of though I think Bail New Jersey going, fuck in crystals. Damn. What her wedding rings made out of though. Sorry. So now, this is also where we get a little cartoon to explain how, and I was so sure they were gonna go with a tornado and the junkyard analogy.

They didn't. Oh, the slot machines? Yeah, they did. You couldn't win the whole line of slot machines, even if you had almost infinite time I don't think they know how time numbers go up till like almost infinity He actually gives the odds. He's like it's one and a billion billion billion whatever and I'm just like per what You know like I mean per second because we have billions of them denominators don't matter. It's all about

Is that how math one of the chances I would roll the six given all the try Good pretty good inevitable No, and I also love that they leave out all of these different a by our Genesis theories They throw the one they get they give that one guy long enough to say the word crystal and then they cut to pan spermia And I'm sorry, okay like no one thinks that's how life started that doesn't make any fucking sense ever right right if you can't think that it's physically impossible to think that and yet they they presented in this fucking movie just so that they can get somebody saying well it's possible that life was intelligently designed

by aliens and then see it and oh so you believe in intelligent design? I believe this wall was intelligently designed. I thought you thought nothing was designed. Then where's your shirt from? Nailed it. Nailed it. That was so much of the editing process. You're like, one guy who was solely played, paid to go nailed it.

Ben edits a little bit more. Nailed it. Yeah, right. What? What? Oh, nailed it. Yeah, what? What? Oh, nailed it. And then, of course, the next argument they have to offer us is that, you know, the cell is so, was way more complicated than Darwin thought it was.

Therefore, he was wrong about something. I have no idea except that they, they try to illustrate how complicated it is with like super space graphics, like they have Windows 98 movie maker going like, pp, pp, pp, pp. Well, yeah like super space graphics like they have windows 98 movie maker going like Super space graphics. You mean the Mario Brothers fire Right Well, so I love this one too because he's point out is like well, you know complex Lifeform has so many genes in it all by you know that numbers i have to see astronomical or whatever but like the simplest life-form has four hundred thirty seven well wait so

since this is now a christian movie and it's time to talk about math who do you think we should bring in to talk about math in this christian movie do you do you have something that you haven't run by me uh... i think it's john lennax oh this is where they introduce yes Do you have something that you haven't run by me? Uh, I think it's John Lennox. Oh, shit. This is where they introduce John fucking Lennox. I was sure you were going to bring someone on stage there that I didn't find out.

Ladies and gentlemen, John Lennox. Yeah, right, right. How great would that end up be all kill him? We should all kill John Lennox. Are you a fucker? Are you a fucking kill friend? To kill John Lennox T-shirt. Our lawyer is going to beep all this time.

Yeah, I was going to say Eli still thinks I was getting about the libel laws apparently. So Andrew's just at home slowly something holding on. But yeah, John Lennox is in the mood and John Lennox has, if you didn't see this, how many of you saw this? Okay, if you have you saw this, Linux has two perfect chin not a double chin No, this is very important to understand not a double chin where it's like a little bit He has a human chin and then another entire human chin that is grown underneath it that I am convinced operates independently So he can eat more food opens up and there's just a toothless mouth under your skin mask of Churchill over his skin.

Yeah, he's pretty rough. And also, I love that there's this great line here where I believe it was Lennox, he's talked to him and he goes, he goes, you know, well, how do the scientists justify that? And they'll say, well, they'll tell you that science is not a democratic process. And they offer that up like, oh, you mean it's communist? No, just now I wish you were a democratic process. Do're amazing science would be right. We don't have jet packs by nature. Way more people watch Dr. Oz than listen to our podcast. It would be amazing. They'd be like, so I'm going to give you these homeopathy pills and some freedom. Sorry, it's democratic now.

So, but now we have to we have the the the bit where they list all the enemies of ID, which turned out to be all institutions in the world, except for the church. But we start off with the academy, right? The academy of sciences and, you know, that, you mean the communist Gestapo? Well, yes, yes, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I didn't have that quite right.

But I just want to point out that every bullshit documentary we've ever reviewed on this show includes a congressman from Indiana who agrees with that. This is three for three. If you guys want that state back, we're not using it. We don't. This is Sounder, by the way, who is famous for cheating on his wife. We're the lady he made an abstinence video with. Yes. That's his claim to fame. cheating on his wife, with a lady he made an abstinence video with. Yes! That's his claim to fame.

His claim to fame is like, and kids don't fuck people because it's bad. America, banana, banana. And for the listeners at home, that was visual humor. Yes, fuck you for not coming to England. Yeah, there you go. There are people in England who are like, sorry, I can't make it, rabidity tampfy, and I was like, fuck you.

I flew nine hours next to a crying baby and Noah reacting to a crying baby. You can come across your three by three-foot country. I was quiet most of that time. I was very quiet. I thought in the airplane, whatever. So, oh, so I love this line where Ben's face is. No, I killed a baby.

I just... Is that okay with the lab allotted? Oh, yes, you love it. It has to be unfactual in order to... Right, okay, we... But I love Ben's face at one point, because like, why is the scientific establishment so afraid of free speech?

Now we've got to again go over apparently the difference between free speech and freedom to speak here and now, right? Science gets their journals, you guys get fucking websites with multi-colored fonts and a lot of flashy shit and too many hyperlinks. You get the Sy Babes Whole Facebook page. Right. Food Babes Whole Facebook page. We get the Sy Books page too.

Well, yeah, I was gonna say, yeah, you get the Sy Babes comments anyway. But yeah, that's their argument here. And then they move on to their second villain, which is, which is, watch, scientific watchdog groups, basically, talking about the NCSE. and I love that all of their editing is so like horrible or whatever trying to make everybody look evil and they try to do that with you genie Scott but she's so awesome and lovable that you

cannot do it you cannot make her sound bad it is the best worst attempt to make someone a villain in the movie because you genie Scott's like well you know there are people trying to teach kindergartners the wrong thing and we're just trying to make sure and it's like Nazism Hitler. Honestly they just needed her mouth to keep moving and bangstack and that's me your genie scott the juice started all the wars let's get on. Wow I can't believe she said that. What? And also? Anybody? Yes. This is catchphrase.

No, he gets there. He gets there. I love that he throws out like three different things. Remember when I was famous, y'all? The most famous person they could find with Ben Stein, so they had to reference it because 99% of the people wouldn't have heard of Ben Stein. Yeah, right.

He's like, come on, be alert. Huh? I'm not. He's like an uncle trying to remind you of that one time he met you when you were six, just like, ah, you remember I got you a bike! Well, not a bike, a picture of a bike. Through you, a picture of a bike, and I never brought it. I've been in rehab.

Also, and I want to point this one out too, and I know we're running a little behind on the thing, but I have to point this out, because Eugenie Scott points out, she says, like, you know, hey, you know, the thing that the discovery institute and people like that won't tell you is that most religious people do accept evolution right now and we get to a weird point of convergence between me and Ben Stein here because no they don't right that those two things can't happen if you you can either not understand what evolution is and believe in God or you can understand what evolution is that's really the dichotomy there you can either not understand what evolution is and believe in God or you can understand what evolution is.

That's really the dichotomy there. You can't have guided natural selection. Those two don't get that up. And then we move on to our third villain, the media. Apparently reporters all hate God too. And this is where we meet Pamela Winnick. She was a treat. She's a mate. This is the reporter lady. First of all, she looks like she opened the Ark of the Covenant just a little bit, and then immediately blamed her stylist for it.

She was like, I went and I got my hair cut, and I got my colors done. I opened the Ark of the Covenant, and this is what happened. I don't get it. All right, so this is her line, because she's going to keep trying to make this argument that intelligent design isn't religion Which is complete or so she goes I wasn't a Christian I was Jewish and I wasn't religious those two sentences don't contradict each other at all

She's also very clearly a forangi in a way What if you don't watch it you don't have to watch movie is super boring, but watch her Google her and then Google for Rangie that is word Pervert Permis perma super boring but watch her Google her and then Google for Enki that is word pervert perma perma and also like they don't realize this is going against their point when she says but I'm not religious it's like yeah it's almost like just being wrong is the problem right well she has this great thing she's like you're right one article about how God created the universe and they don't want you to report the truth anymore. Crazy. Crazy. And then we get villain number four, the courts.

The court. And this is the most, this is the weakest argument they have so the most dismissive they are like, and they throw all the things they go through, they sort of like, and that's why that's wrong. The courts they just literally go, doesn't count. Yeah. No. No.

Well, he's just, this is the actual line I wrote this down. He's like, but I thought scientific questions were settled by the evidence, not by taking people to court. It's like, yes, but once you settle them with the evidence and you ask, we'll still want to teach him to our children. Apparently, we have to take you to fucking court. And he brings up the Scopes Monkey Trial. Yeah.

In favor of his argument. Well, yeah, he's like, yeah, a lot of people don't know that the creationist won the Monkey trial, the scopes monkey trial and Snopes out of a good one to and they show a clip from the movie. Yeah, but they can't show what their side is saying Yeah, that's the scene where he's like And so they just show him shouting and they're like, yeah, he did great in that movie And they literally say that play and movie are Bias against us. Yeah, I'm playing that uses those court trans

Teacher the good guy I don't know Hannibal actors the bad guy Gonna watch that again and then he linear like teases you here because he cuz he goes like hmm Intelligent design must challenge something at the very heart of the Darwinian establishment But we're gonna leave you on that cliffhanger But before we do we're gonna pause for a quick break and before we do that I'm gonna give my act three the hard sell here actually. I'm not going to because my computer shit out on me hold on one second Here we go

No I He just learned to do life lesson. He's a hugeter back in the years. I have some factual statements to you. Act three that I mean that aren't jokes. Yeah, yeah. I know, which is why I'm going to be doing this bit. So here we go.

Will Darwin be blamed for the third Reich? Well, Ben Stein's arguments team up with a tin man and the cowardly lion. Yeah a little bit. Will the entire third act of this movie be me-winsing at the very real possibility of e-line-making illegal Holocaust jokes? Yeah. Find out the answers to these questions and more when we return for the inestimally insane conclusion of Expelled, no intelligence allowed Okay, he's that is that plugged in yeah, yeah, I'm seeing levels on it and everything

Dude no, what the fuck? What I'm a how much amnace wait you're in black face. I have suit on my face. Tap out, tap out. No. It's so it's so it's no tap. It looks like black face. Also you did your lips. That is stage makeup. So people will be able to see me when I talk. No, no tap. Nobody is gonna buy that. Okay, okay, okay. Fine. If I wipe off most of my face and undo the lips, and undo my lips, can I come out for our

QED live show as a chimney sweep? Yes. Fine. You even get to hear my song. Don't do it. MAMME. It's from Rent. No, it's not. K. don't do it you know me from rent but it's not

and we're back for more break down and as we read into the break our monotone hero promista's the challenge at the heart of the darwinian establishment intelligence design uh... poses and no unfortunately it is not a giant acid spinning spider instead it's the challenge of ideas. What a fucking disappointment. And this is where they're using all of these war metaphors and actually showing video of wars and everything. It's like they're showing Edward R. Murrow. Being like the greatest conflict of our time is cut. Holocaust clip. They never answer anything. It's, again, Ben Stein over Ed Worma creationism. Creation, am illusion.

Yeah, yeah. So, yeah, fucking Dawkins equals Hitler, Darwin equals Hitler. That's actually where we're gonna fucking go. But first we're gonna go to Dawkins again. We're gonna shun on him a little bit. And they're like, hmm, who would have some objective opinions on Richard Dawkins? Maybe the author of the Dawkins delusion. Don't ask my exes what I'm like.

And here we have his ex girlfriend. What's Richard like? He's an apple and I don't knock him at all. Well, here you go. We asked a random person, not our fault. I can't have to say your British accent is killing it in this crowd, see what I'm like. I should have stayed dressed as the chimneys with their computers. They wouldn't have known.

The voice perfectly matched the chimneys with, but now they're afraid that I'm being married and edited by a god. That is what they thought. I love to do this guy says at one point he's going like, look, if you've got one scientist saying this thing and then another scientist saying the exact opposite thing obviously there's some conflict here and I'm like but what if you've got seven million of them saying this thing and 26 of them said yeah right right exactly and this is where recliner man is like dockets you know he doesn't know much about science and I'm so I'm he's too busy doing a fucking what's the rate Charles impersonation that I'm Like this is he looking at pictures of Dawkins on the ceiling

You know Dawkins he's the clamped and this is also where they do this weird like they have him speak Yiddish to confuse people He can't be like Dawkins is wrong and here's why here's my evidence So he's like Dawkins he's mishpucha. What can I say? Oh, hey? Richard Dawkins, he's Mishbukha. What can I say? Oh, he's way! Richard Dawkins, not a Jew. So all I'm saying. And then we get to this part where they interview PZ Myers, who again was lied to to get him into this fucking movie. And the argument that they're making at this point, well, I'll get to it because they

don't quite get to it just yet. But basically they have PZ Myers and they're like, you know, do you want to get rid of all religion then? And he's, he gives this perfect answer, right? He gives this answer about no, I want to educate people. And when you learn more, you tend to be less religious and religion could, you know, turn into a social club or whatever and just not compete with science for truth value or whatever. Then he goes like Ben Stank goes like, hmm, I wonder what the world would look like if Myers got his wish and I'm like, England! I don't like that!

We've seen it! Other than shitty catch-up, it's pretty good. I brought my catch-up. His answer is actually Hadamar. Yes, he has! His real is actually Hadamar. Yes, he has his real answer is Hadamar. The same asylum where the Nazis killed people of disability. Yes. That's what he gets. He listens to busy myers be like, well, you know, it'll take its eventual place. And he's like, so you mean killing retards, right?

He said, what are you talking about? Bees, he's like, are you talking to me? No. Yes. Just whispering into my mic. Yes, I literally go to Hadamar. And I love to where he's trying to get this go. OK, so he's got this tour guy that's taking him through. It's, he speaks pretty good English, but not great English.

So he's clearly trying to confuse her with the questions that he's asking. Like, would you say that Hitler's insane? She's like, what does that word mean? So you mean you think he's not insane? Well, I think he was just a Darwinian. Even better, he's like, so were they all here because of the Darwinist, Darwinians?

And she's like, oh no, I just give the tall, they talked me. If only I had some Dutch to English translation. Ah! Paul Circle. Wait, question, do they speak Dutch in Germany? They do, right? They do.

So the Dutch people in Germany, very often. Yeah, Ben, sounds like, can you show me a table where Darwin stabbed the retards in the eye? That's right here, you have it. Yeah, ladies, they're like, this is a dissection table. I'm like, yeah, they have those at hospitals too. They just show scary things. They do show really terrible parts of it Like oh, this is where the rooms were captain. It was really cruel terrible

But then they're like none of this looks scary enough. It's just walls and rooms. So they're like ooh dissection table Yeah, right. I expected Ben's time to hold up a scalpel and be like oh Oh, I'm gonna get you Coming for it now you run away a little talk guy lady and I'll pretend I'm an atheist you coming for it. Now you run away, little talk guy lady, and I'll pretend I'm an atheist doctor. Call me Richard. So, I love to when they're, because they're talking about,

they do this whole big thing about eugenics and they're like, but the spirit of eugenics lives on today. Cut to a planned parenthood ad as he's saying that. Yeah, they go with the Margaret Sanger wanted to kill everybody. Yeah, basically their thing is like Oh, Margaret Sanger was totally into eugenics. She wanted to give poor people condoms because she wanted them to die out The proud line of the poor people

She wanted to eradicate them from the world. You mean poverty yeah, that's their word We're my poor is that very quickly Very quickly we move from you know like the Holocaust to abortion and voluntary euthanasia as though we have not changed subjects It It's amazing. They start talking about the love of fair with death that the Darwinists have because they all want to murder everybody. There's one guy talking about death with dignity and pretended suicide. Yeah. The guy's like, oh, my cancer ever came back. I would want to be able to control that about

myself. I want to make those choices. And they're like, well, I hope he never goes through with it. He's crying out for help. And then the guys in his office like, Lou Lou Lou, great. I love this bit too. And like, and where he says, and then we decided, so I decided to go where the, you know, the idea came from in the first place, but we couldn't afford the Galapagos apparently. So I just went to Darwin's house and they have this long thing where he's there walking through Darwin's house and it has nothing to do with anything except for during this thing they have the most egregious quote mining I have ever heard in my

fucking life. Now I don't know again most of you didn't see this but basically they have this quote from Darwin that has a lot of bracket dot dot dot bracket left out of it but it's this quote about how you know, about social Darwinism that is immediately followed by Darwin saying, which would be horrible and we should never do and here's why. But they leave that entire paragraph out. Like half the words in that thing. Yeah. Totally out of context.

Cut it. Like, it's like quoting Martin Luther King is like, I have a dream that we should kill black people. Yes. Like, yeah, he said all those words throughout his life. We can't put dogs out, dog. I give between days and months and years. My life and my daughter's lives don't matter.

Yeah. Martin Luther King. Yeah. According to a meme, I saw, yeah. And then we get to the part of the movie where they're going to have the confrontations with all the bad guys. The big shout out. Well, before we get to the part of the movie where like where they're gonna have the Confrontations with all the bad guys the big showdown But before we get to that I love this one. I got to throw this one out and he's gonna be pissed at me But I got to throw this one out because we said there because

We were talking about the Smithsonian thing where the guy didn't get fired from the Smithsonian So that's the first villain that they have to go see and of course if they actually went to see his boss They'd be like no, he's still he's still's just down the hole, like, go get him for you. So what they did instead is they brought a whole film crew in to the Smithsonian Museum without any permission or anything. And I would imagine that they started just waving their dicks at people until they got kicked out. Because all we see is them getting kicked out. Elias waving his dick for the audience. People listening at home, you really missed out. It's hot in the room right now and she waved at herself like, oh, it's hot in the room, but it was amazing because it synced up with my waving my dick.

I thought she was just being super supportive. She was like, oh yeah! Good job Eli! The roof is on fire. And now it's time for the boss fight. The boss fight! Yeah, sure. Where he, they have this extended, and we were, before we, before we did this, we realized we were only about 50 minutes, we're like, do you want to spend the whole time on this

Richard Dawkins battle? We could have done 49 minutes on this Richard Dawkins battle. And one minute on that time's appearance. So basically he says, you know, he says to Dawkins he's like, so you don't believe in God and he's like, no, he's like, what about Allah? He's like, no, he's like, what about these Hindu deities? What the fuck is the matter with you? Why am I here? And Dawkins is literally, he's like, why are you asking me these stupid questions? What the hell is going on here? And it's frustrating someone and thinking they're frustrated by how right you are.

He's just like, what if I asked the question in Japanese? I don't speak Japanese, so you can't answer the question. I'm rushing this. So yeah, so now we conclude by pointing out that if they were right they would be Right Really that's what it is that that's really the argument that they're making because they keep making this argument that like We're not saying that you should accept what we're saying We're saying that we should be able to teach it to your children as though it was a fact

You don't have to believe us when we do that. And we get that little voiceover, a Ben Steine's voiceover. Oh, he's talking to Dawkins. And he's like, voiceover, so it turns out I was right. And Richard Dawkins was wrong. And while we see next to him, and voiceover, it boasts fantastic. Yeah, yeah.

It's also about halfway through this. And this is so fantastic. Dawkins realizes that Steine's an idiot. And so he starts reacting like Marsh being told about fluoride. So he's just like hmm okay we need to take these several steps back and he starts and this is the one where if you watch out a context you're like oh it looks like Richard's backtracking but it's because Richard's trying to understand the level at which he needs to explain these concepts. So he's like a mummy and a daddy frog walking down there.

Tell me when we've hit it, Ben, him and he's like, still don't get it. All right, a mummy frog, no. Frog? That's the one. That's what I don't understand. Why are you just staring at me? The voice over thing.

It'll be like very, very much like a story. I'm crushing this in my head. Yeah, right, right. And in post, as it turns out. And we're gonna take a quick break from the live record to get you all excited about next week. That does do for our review of expelled no intelligence allow, but that's not gonna do it for the episode

because we still need to commit to more massacism next week. So Eli, tell us what's on deck. I'm not ashamed. Okay, so we're gonna to do a humor show. About the Columbine shooting. This should be good. No, no, no, no, no, no. This is about a girl who was killed in the Columbine shooting.

Well, don't be silly. So, allegedly, this is a new Christian film from the folks who brought us God's not dead, Uno and Dose, so we've all heard the story, which may or may not be true of the girl who says, I believe in God, to the Columbine shooters, and so they kill her, even though there's a lot of evidence that that's probably not what happened. Anyway, it's fine. Whether or not it happened doesn't really matter.

What this movie posits is she was so awesome, and the fact that she died for Jesus was so great that everyone in her school became Christian. Alright, so at least whatever we do will be less offensive than the fact that they made this movie. That's true. That is true. Alright, well at least we got that going for us. So with that to look forward to, we're gonna bring episode 62 to a merciful close.

Huge thanks to all the folks at QED for making the live show possible. An equally huge thanks to all the people who made it out to CS. And of course, and ever so slightly more huge thanks to all the Patreon donors that helped make the show go. If you'd like to count yourself among their ranks, you can make a per episode donation

at patreon.com slash god awful. That's patreon.com slash god awful. And thereby earn early access to an ad free version of every episode You can also help us a ton by leaving us a five star review on iTunes and by sharing the show on all your various social media Platforms and if you enjoyed the show be sure to check out our sibling shows the skating atheist and the skeptic Cratt available on iTunes, Stitcher and wherever else podcasts live if you have questions comments or cinematic suggestions You can email God awful movies at gmail.com all the music used in this episode was written and performed by Ryan Slotneck of

Evil Draft Sun Mars and was used with permission if you like what you hear more by following links on the show notes for this episode Thanks again for giving us a chunk of your life this week for Heathen right knee-line Bosnick I'm no illusions promising to work hard to earn another chunk next week until then we'll return to the live show for the breakfast club close They were still magnesium if there was an evolution. My ears. Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! So Richard Nixon's ghost was embarrassed by the dishonesty of his former speed shredder. Ben Stein was never taken seriously by anyone again. A ton of the good guys in this movie decided to be the bad guys in the movie about crying college students 10 years later. I'm gonna win, I'm gonna win! Why are there still more than this? I think it's okay.

I thank you so much guys, thank you so much! Do we know that kids can't catch bullets? Hahaha.