God Awful Movies - 70: GAM070 Apocalypse 3: Tribulation

Episode Date: December 20, 2016

This week, Eli, Heath, and Noah team up for an atheist review of Apocalypse 3: Tribulation; the story of Gary Busey not being in the shape required to jog on camera anymore, but doing it anyway. --- To get tickets to our live show in Chicago on January 13th (guest starring Tom and Cecil from Cognitive Dissonance), go here: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/god-awful-movies-live-with-cognitive-dissonance-tickets-29713113723 If you’d like to make a per episode donation, please check us out on Patreon: http://patreon.com/godawful Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars. If you’d like to hear more, check out their Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts

So for the agent guy's suspicious so he pulls out an anti-aircraft missile The civil war cannon in a cannon. Oh yeah. Like he might as well, the guy might as well have the sword duck behind the counter and then just like hover back up inside a higher jet. Like he loves it. And then he slaps the jet and runs out. And Gary's reaction might as well have been to grab the gun and put his finger on the

other side like he had a trigger and be like, no, I have you at gun for it. God awful. Movie. Movie. Movie. Who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be my good friend Heath and right, Heath, welcome back. Thank you Noah. You know who's a great actor? Who is that? Mr. T. Hells, yeah. He's not in this movie.

No, he's not. You got nowhere, I was gonna. We got him coming though, we got him coming, hell's ya. And sitting 81 miles to my right is my bad friend Eli Bosnick. Of course Eli, how are you this fine evening sir? Gary Buzay! I was hard to get excited about Mr. T next week. We still have Gary buzy this week, right? Oh,

Jesus, it's so Wonderful. It's so because like we get mediocre actors with failed careers and we're oh man This guy's crazy Look at Stephen Baldwin and then Gary bucies on here and's like, you my fuckers have no idea what you're talking about. Thanks. It's the next level. So I guess we've hinted around a bit, but tell us Heath, what will we break in down today?

All right. We watched Apocalypse 3 Tribulation or just Tribulation. It's part three in the very polite Canadian End Times series written by Peter and Paul Lalonde of Ontario. And this one picks up the post-rapture story of Satan trying to take everyone's eternal soul inside of VR simulations so nobody gets too scared and it's good for safety. Polite, I'd like to call it, sorry, please let me have your eternal soul, sorry, the movie,

sorry. Andy, like, how bad was this movie? Well, if you love going, oh my god, that's that guy from, oh shit, what it's called, what's it called? But he's been in a million things. But you hate human beings who can run. We are going to be talking a lot about Gary Bucy's locomotion in this fucking review. And how we man down. Well, that's two. Yeah, that too, but mostly Gary. But before we get to that, I want to kind

of reprise the thing I did last week. We want to place this movie firmly within the trilogy. Now that we've seen it all. So where would you guys say this one ranks in terms of like overall plot? Oh, best. I mean, nothing much really happens, but it all doesn't happen to Gary Busy. That helps. That helps. I'm in agreement. I took it a little more literally.

I said almost none in terms of plot as close as I think we've come to a still image of Gary Busy. All right. Okay. Well, and this is obviously a big part of this trilogy so far. So where does this one rank in terms of crazy eyebrows? Sorry, I couldn't hear you. Thorold Stone was moving his eyebrows last week.

What was the question? Is that crazy eyebrows? See, I'm going to go a little rogue here and say craziest eyebrows because even the eyebrows themselves weren't crazy, they were attached to Gary Beauty. Right. All right. Okay, so and this is a huge theme in this film. What would you say at ranks for you in dangerous messages about mental illness? Oh, yeah, uh, best or worst or whichever means morally reprehensible. Yes.

So, uh, yeah, word of warning, I am going to make fun of this cast of asylum alumni and I'm not going to feel bad because the message is horrible and they should all be protesting this movie way more than whatever they have. Yeah. Yeah. No shit. Right. And I mean, another angle to this is like top five for sure because of the poisonous message

of the movie, but I also assume they let Gary Busy Rome free on set. That's cool. Other different dangerous message about mental illness. Semetta. Yeah, yeah, it was definitely top five in the church. It's your top brother. I see you chew with your tea.

top five in the church is home brother. I see you two with your tea. All your fingers still there huh? Who's that about that? Okay so is there anything you guys want to nominate this one for being the best at being the worst at? Yes, best worst use of bad guys with telekinetic powers so we'll get there just imagine if like ury geller was the anti-christ and all he could do is bend spoons you'll be fine me you'll never get that soup dear mouth you're ruining the magic trick

also uh... got gotta say it. Best, worst, running. Oh yes. Fucking crap. I-I-I-I am so sad I don't have video editing skills because if I could, I would replace this episode with a super cut of Gary Bucy jog-shooping place to place throughout this film. I could watch it forever.

I could watch it for my whole Life and no one in the movie I ever goes like What's wrong with him or like that's that guy's heavy He's getting away from us and not to mention we'll talk about it a million times throughout the movie But there are well fit actors who have to chase Gary Busey in slow motion. You ever chase a toddler and you're like, oh no, I'm gonna get it. And they can barely walk, so they're like, and they're getting down a hallways. So you gotta be like, oh, that's all the chase scenes of these normal able humans and Gary Busey.

And it's not like they go to the well once or twice here. Like he runs pretty much through this whole movie. Yes. Like he thinks he's Tom fucking crews all of a sudden. All right, minus pretty lame compared to the running, which is so fucking amazing, but I'm gonna go with best worst fake newspapers. I mean, they so we're not trying.

Like every time there's like two or three times where we see the fake headline or whatever, and every time it's like one headline followed by Laura Mpsom the name of the papers like the newspaper or the pictures doesn't I stock water mark on it She pissed fake papers I've ever seen in any fucking film. I thought that was important. All right But before we jump to break I want to remind you that it isn't too late to get your tickets to our live show in Chicago January 13th. That's out of Friday. That's Friday the 13th. The best time to see us at the victory garden by a graph theater live on stage with two of our all-time favorite guests Tom and Cecil from the cognitive dissonance podcast follow the link on the show notes for tickets and do it quick Because we'll probably sell out and with that plug out of the way we'll take a quick break and when we come back

We'll leap into the visual pile of glass that is Apocalypse three Tribulation Hey Fille us Hey Gary buddy. What's up? So I was thinking wait. I'm sorry. Were you just eating a donut? No blood? Oh, right anyways, I was thinking what this movie need is some chase scenes. I love the enthusiasm but I don't really feel like we have the budget for car chases. No. No no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no white uh you you want to fill this movie with shots of you running yeah yeah

let me show you uh let me show you what I had in mind AHAHOOC! AHAHOOC! AHAHOOC! AHAHOOC! AHAHOOC! AHAHOOC! Holy shit, man. Are you okay? Yeah, that's just maroon noises. And you want to do that on camera. A sure do? Hey, why the fuck not?

Right? Yeah, can we get a towel for Gary? He did a little jog thing. Just now when he swit through his entire costume, through it. Sorry about that. Yeah, like what do you have? Do we have one of those tarps that they use for oil spills?

I'll run, get it. Ah! Ah! And we're back for the breakdown. And before this movie even allows you to revel in the washed up cadre of Hasbenz the credits are about to reveal it has to make you physically ill with this five-minute rotating tree shot Was I only when getting dizzy during this shot?

Stop, seriously, I'm gonna throw up Seriously, come on off But you got to love the movie it starts out with bird feeders on a tree spinning five minute shot You got obo music and then you got Gary Bucy Margot Kitter and how he Mandel. Oh, that is how you tease a movie. I was fully erect All right. Yes indeed. I wrote up I wrote my notes at this point gonna throw out there very little has happened in these last few movies But they have just gotten better and better. Yeah, what better cast could you possibly have

for a movie that will spend its entirety trying to talk you out of taking psychiatric medicine? Anyway, now we cut from this week, we watched this tree for like five minutes until your neck starts hurting from grinding the look up at it. And then we cut to other trees, right? Like the movie starts with a tree,

but not that particular tree. That's how bad their fucking DP was. Couldn't do this in a single shot. But anyway, so we start off with a tree back in the days of C.P.A. Yeah, we got Scout Finch checking the not-hole for Boo Radley stuff. Right.

It's very excited. Big sister is carving a swastika into a tree She just backs up and she's like see take that juice all right I would have been so much more into the act first act of this movie if that's where they started But no she's carving her name and her brother's names onto the tree so that they'll know which tree to meet at in case they ever get lost in the woods. Yep. Yeah, they say this is the tallest tree in the woods and that's how they're gonna find the wood.

Yeah, it doesn't help unless you're like flying over it. Right, it's lost in a helicopter, we'll meet here. So, you ever get lost climbing to the very tipy top of a tree and look around. Yeah. I've seen people interact with you, not to be argumentative, but don't you just walk up to every tree you see and go, uh, how tall are you? That's the people they use. I just figure Gary planned on doing that to every tree in the forest until the one to the

biggest number. Now, of course, there is a problem with their plan to meet at this tree at the beginning of Act 3. And that is that of course, unless they cast a magical God spell over it, the tree may not be standing. So they have to do that first. And she does this by the way, in spite of her little brother who's like, hey, I'm a little kid, I'm going to pee my

pants and she's like, I am casting a spell. A minute. Yeah, it's a shame they couldn't find anywhere that a young boy could piss in the woods. Anyway, but they have to, I guess they have to build this into this Calvin pissing his pants scene because that's so funny when people urinate on themselves as children. Right. And getting barest. Yeah. And create a serial killer.

Well, kind of they are. Yeah. So then we cut to the modern day where apparently sis and brother are still giving Calvin shit about wedding himself back in 1973. And grown up Calvin is the dad from home alone, right? I'm not making that up. Oh, is that who that is? I am 2% sure that is the dad.

Mr. McCallister alone. Yeah. I saw that movie once when it came out and I've avoided it since. He didn't like bring a bell for me. He owned a deli near my college town for a while actually mr. mcalister or this act the actor played mr. mcalister yet all right i well i think we can all agree that this movie is a step downitter, Gary Bucy and eventually Howie Mandel.

And I want to say in Margot Kitter's defense, she has come out and publicly said like, look, I had no fucking idea what I was getting into. I had no way endorse this movie or the message of this movie or whatever. I'm Margot fucking Kitter. When I get a job, I kind of have to take it, but I hate this fucking movie.

But still, yeah, Howie Mandel is the crazy brother of Margot Kitter, who's the crazy sister of Gary Busey. So the movie going forward. He looks like a gay guy doing drag as Mark Marin. It's not in the movie. Yeah, so we first hear them all arguing downstairs and then we cut upstairs and that's where how we is playing with a we G board except not because that's actually a copy right of things so he's got like a board

He's got a circle with letters around it and if you think about it that would be fucking impossible To use Like climb up onto the table. Was your name fucking Gregory Goddainman? I don't have time for this yet. Your hands would be all turned around on the plan. Shit like. But anyway, so he is the crazy brother and as they're discussing

whether or not Calvin wet himself when he was a child, how he runs down for one of the most bizarre scenes that you will ever see in your god damn life. Oh, it's wasted. Yeah, he's like quizzing them about the Tower of Babel. Well, he comes down because what what Mac Aluso has sent him on the Ouija board is Genesis 116. Oh, yeah. So he comes to Brian, and he's like, what's Genesis 116 say? And they're like, oh, let's definitely like,

humor him on this. This will not lead to bad situation. So you know, God was like, oh, because you know, the bad people in the Bible, they all say, if we work together,

we're capable of great things. And we don't know how that worked out for them. She worked. Jesus, make America great again. We don't know how that worked out for the team work. Jesus, make America great again. Yeah. Okay, here's the thing about Genesis 11.6. It's talking about the Tower of Babel, and it's talking about how if we all learn the same language, then there's world peace, right?

Right. But the story there, I just wanted the rest of the movie to be about like studying Esperanto at YSL Centers and no desperately trying to convince some girl at a cafe. Now I know what you're thinking. Why would, how would we, and we won't, it's gonna go badly. And what he's telling them is, he's telling them about what's called the hundredth monkey effect, except I don't think they know that there was a name for that thing when they wrote this. Yeah.

And this is just absolutely insane bullshit. It's pseudo science. It's not even a pseudo science. It's like a pseudo interpretation of pseudo science. Right. But what's fun is both Noah and myself at one point really, really thought this shit was real. So it was like running into a high school girlfriend to hear this because I had forgot, I even thought these thoughts and had these words run through my brain for years.

And hearing another person say them who is a crazy character as an adult and remembering like me telling people this was really I was kind of nostalgic I'm not gonna lie. I don't know why you felt the need to throw me under the bus on that along with yourself I don't think that I ever but anyway I've heard a lot of hippies making this argument in my day but it's this insane it's this stupid nonsense about like if enough percentage of all the monkeys learn to do something, the other ones will automatically know it is this way that like hippies try to bolster the idea of like a caucho or like a universal consciousness or whatever.

It is absolutely not true. I'm sorry. I'm just, you're underselling this here. So if I may, oh, please, I don't want to be that guy, but I'm just saying, I left out banana dipping. I'm sorry. I feel like people haven't seen the movie. So there's an island, right? And there's a volcano right in the middle of the island. There's scientists on the east side and there's scientists on the west side. And scientists on the east side, they start leaving out bananas for the monkeys on the beach.

And the monkeys go over and they grab the bananas and are like, oh, these bananas are a covered in sand. So they start dipping them in the ocean, right? Start dipping them in the ocean. A couple of monkeys see the first monkey doing it. And go, that's a good idea. Then the hundredth monkey dung the banana. Their unity of thought creates a psychic unity,

which convinces all the monkeys on the island and spontaneously the monkeys on the opposite side of the island they all start dunking their bananas in the water and this is science this happened don't google it because this is the example we gave before you could google these kind of things but that clearly because actually the thing that they're talking about was done with sweet potatoes not bananas so clearly they had no google ability here and that is proof that when a bunch of people think a thing a bunch of other people who have never heard it will also think that thing yeah cut to ray comfort dipping a banana in the ocean trying to explain

intelligence just gets blasted by a wave of all right be fun and you know at first Yeah, cut to Ray Comfort dipping a banana in the ocean, trying to explain intelligence to the side. Just gets blasted by a wave. Oh, all right, be fun. And you know, at first when he starts going off on this thing, I'm actually pretty impressed because I'm thinking to myself, hey, you know, this movie is acknowledging that this is the kind of shit a crazy person would say

right before he wrapped in foil around his head. Or so I thought. Well, I'm pretty sure this is just, and I think this is how they did a lot of the scenes in this movie. I'm pretty sure this is just, and I think this is how they did a lot of the scenes in this movie. I'm pretty sure this is just how we Mandel talking in real life. Because like, I mean, they had Mandel

and you see in Margot Kitter in a room, I'm sure like, you know, between takes, they're just like wearing helmets and VR goggles and they're filming them. And Mandel is just talking in real life and sweeping off tables and talking about monkeys and two minutes later, he explained how the Fed is a Ponzi scheme, but they cut it guaranteed. filming them and Mandela's just talking in real life and sweeping off tables and talking about monkeys and Two minutes later he explained how the fed is a Ponzi scheme what they cut it guaranteed

You know that actually would explain a ton about this fucking movie though If you think about it like that they just had these three people were walking around being crazy and then after that They got all the other actors together and say okay. We need to weave this all together guys And what's amazing is Gary Busy is the one who's like, Hey man, you need some professional help. And get a film about Gary Busy talking about other people being crazy is like that episode of the Cosby Show where Dr. Hustleville tells his daughter that her boyfriend is too pushing. He's got a weird and you know, it's got a weird connotation and get writing in my notes how i'm in doubt is going to storm into a pizza parlor any minute now ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha to help with very much, you know, would be, to his benefit quite a bit. And I thought, oh my God, this whole script started

as like an intervention for these three actors. They're like, if we make them say the lines, and it just went horribly off the rails, you know. Just the rewriters sitting around, wow, Gary. So what do you think about that character, Jason, huh? Yeah. Yeah, glad he turns out to be right. I need to have to chew my way through your legs. Oh, yeah. You'll turn it. It's backfired. And yeah, the whole time they're

clearly just waiting for Bucy to do this. Like at one point actually in the scene, the camera looks over it. Bucy, as if to ask like, okay, you're gonna be a seat up yet. And you can see visibly, Bucy looks the carman he like pump fakes for second and hold together he's just like this is what so i don't know that he got away that camera's like all right all right you can do it later also

there's this incredible moment right so the sisters explaining it's the book of revelations and he needs the bible not his particular brand of crazy and she turns to Gary and she goes That's what Jason needs and you get to watch the moment that Gary Pussy remembers who was named Jason in this movie If you watch it, he's in tire film is worth it for him to be like Yeah, Jason yeah, brother. Yeah He's crazy. That's that colored fella right that's the color. You watch me like my hand oh fire That's my idea

They just caught me doing it and used it in lethal weapon So yeah, so then you know how we wanders off a phone rings from the 1700s So the sister has to wander off and it's just Gary Bucy and the other brother Calvin. And I have to put this out because like Calvin has like nine lines here which are all some derivative of I think religion is silly. I will not be raptured. It really does, but he does make some super solid points because the sisters like, oh my gosh, aliens are silly, but this book where everyone vanishes is real. And Calvin's like, do neither of you see how both of you are silly to a person who looks

reasonably at both the dermatologies? And they're like, this is why you're not going to disappear. Okay? This is why you're not going to magic disappear. Bitch. Somebody just pegs him in the eye with keys and jams. Just stab him in the eye with keys and jamming the jaw. Now every time you ask a question, the keys will just jingle on their own mother fucker. And by the way,

just small thing, um, UC's wife is pretty hot here. Um, also, uh, Margo Kitter, in my opinion. So Jamie boobs request both of them, Margo Kitter and Sherry Miller. This is a tough one for you. Oh, you don't have. This is a tough one for you. You don't have to tell me in that one. You don't have to tell me in that one. You don't have to tell me in that one. And this is where I started to really have this question, sort of, linkered for the rest of the fucking movie. Like, what is the living situation here?

Do all three of these adult siblings, adult childless siblings, two of whom are married, live in the same house where they grew up. Joey Gladstone walks upstairs, cut it out. Yeah. Yeah. Well, it's a great scene here where Gary goes over to like a cabinet and he just hobbles over and opens up a box and he has like a ring in there and he explains the Calvin that like he Couldn't afford a nice ring for his wife, but at their anniversary celebration tomorrow

He's gonna give her the ring she deserves Yeah, then this is like so that she can come up and say hey honey Try especially hard not to get killed tonight because Because tomorrow we're gonna have sex or something. And she kisses on a thing. Oh God. Watching this woman kiss Gary Bucy's dead mouth was literally revolting, like the definition of that. I wrote my notes are all, if you stop kissing Gary Bucy,

I will give you a thousand dollars. Thank God she stopped kissing Gary. Because he's just like mouth wet, mouth wet. Uh oh, I'm swimming again. Hey, swim, swim, swim, fish, fish, fish. It was quite disturbing. I'm hoping she got some kind of hazard pay. I was literally swallowing back vomit through that scene.

You know, he got tasered like goat boy several times. Yes, he's so weird. For most ste know, he got tasered like goat boy several times. He's so weird for most stakes. I think. Yeah. So, and now, of course, we have to go meet the anti-Christ again. And despite my and everyone else, apparently, from the notes intuition, this is the same guy. This is the same actor from the last one. Is it? Yeah, but he shaved his beard in between movies and slicked his hair back. So now he looks like planet of the rapes. Dude, it looks like Voldemort decided to sell water beds instead of being an evil wizard. It was like Bill Paxton got sauteed in Olive Oil, too.

I thought he was a new one. I thought he was a new one for sure. I did too. It wasn't until I was doing post-watch research that I realized it was the same guy. ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Apparently that now they have enough money for lawyers to tell them they should probably not accuse the president of the European Council of being the god damn anti-Christ. Sure. What if one of your viewers did murder him though? What did you have your thought about that? That would be Facebook's fault, right?

In that case. And then we caught to Satan, or not Satan it was Satan second and command I guess meeting with his minions in this Very like Pentegrame Satan room. Yes, and they they have a scale model of the Tower of Babel Which Stephen had to put that together Right cardboard thing you get it like the arc park gift that together. The cardboard thing, you get it like the arc park get shot at the magical item for this entire movie.

This German assistant is Spanish, Mr. Clean by the way, or Mr. Limpiar, if you want. That's too clean, but he looks like an evil juggler. Like, like, Zod is one of the flying Karamazog brothers. It's crazy looking. So they're all talking about the plan, the plot that's upcoming as they stand around their little tower of Bavle model. And they have a pentagram skyline. Yeah, I feel like that's going to lower the property value when you try to sell it. Oh, I see you have a pentagram. See, I would pay more for that, but yeah, I'm probably

in the minority there. And murder anyone here? Yep. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Remember Helen Hannah? Spoiler. And they say like, oh we'll possess Tim Tucker. He's rife with Satany shit. He teaches about the occult and plays with a Ouija board. So. Yes. The subtle message of this movie is the demons are able to control this professor because he has played with a Parker Brothers toy

Yes, yes Yeah, you're supposed to know that if they're warning us about the importance of not playing monopoly while reading a fucking book With this scene so we get Tim Tucker and his wife sit in bed. Of course, he's reading Macaluso's book. She's reading the Holy Bible. And then he completely goes off Satan grabs her Bible and throws it. Right. And you know how often Satanists and occultists like go crazy and and and kill their families because of what they read in their book as opposed to Christians who go crazy and because of what they read in their book and their families like the story in the Bible where a guy goes crazy and he's gonna kill his kid and how many people let's go with the one where the guy actually did kill his daughter let's go with that one instead. Carly Fiorina, let's not get political on this show.

So, yeah, so the husband goes crazy and starts screaming about how the time has come to free the world of the haters, and he's going to have to kill his wife. And of course, we cut straight there from there to Gary Busey out on patrol, getting the call about the domestic situation he's eight inches away from. Right, who does not ride into cop car or have a partner, I assume because the last one got him nine months pregnant and stole his cop car. Yeah, it's like attention all units. There's a he's like, I'm already inside. I was going to call it in. I called in. Ready. Don't worry, I was already breaking into the house for different reasons

I was gonna put back this tire. I have wrapped underneath this sleek jacket. I'm wearing And this is the first time Gary Busy runs in this movie and I call my Gary Busy Shlump over God. It is like turning a pan of molasses upside down towards that door. You'll walk, run, march, run, march. There was a day of shooting where everyone saw Gary Busy run for the first time. I know these people are Christians. I know they are and they were like, mm, message of Christ in our Lord and say,

but there must have been a moment where just as humans they saw Gary run for the first time and they were like, well, who wants to tell him? All right, I guess we just keep going. for the first time and they were like, well, who wants to tell him? All right, I guess we just keep going. And by the way, this run that we're talking about is from the card of the front door. Like he runs like eight yards. He's clearly slowing down by the seventh. He's clearly out of breath.

Yeah. So he, he finally bursts in the door and and he like the professors chasing his wife around because he's good he's like i will beat god and gary bucy pulls out a gun and points it at the guy and there's this crazy mo where they got it has looks at the knife on the counter and then looks back at gary bucy and then gary bucy looks where the knife was and it's gone,

because he's magically, telekinetically, zooped a knife over to himself. Yeah. Into his mouth, if I saw it correctly. He catches into his mouth like a magician. Like, I really wish he cut himself a little bit and had to stop for a second. Oh, would you get this peroxide in the cupboard?

Just give me a second. Oh, I'm not gonna be able to eat for a week. I'm not gonna eat it for a second. I'm not going to be able to eat for a week. I was going to have tomato sauce tonight. That's going to be a fucking nightmare. So and just so that they, because this movie doesn't have the balls to go ahead and kill off the wife, he starts the demon possessed guy starts talking about how McAlluso will you know, fix the world and kill all the Christians and the in the demons who are possessing them are like oh fuck early early to make him jump out of window here. Also, so the incredible moment that I guarantee was improvised.

He starts the throw himself out the window and Gary BC goes where are you going? Um, I'm the window and the wife screams and then we cut over to how he who is also jumped out of a window. We haven't seen this. We just see him also laying in the ground and we're spitting and go ahead and puzzle it out yourself. God damn it. Try to keep up. Again, they just watched these actors until they had an idea for the plot yeah fuck how we actually threw himself through a window we're gonna have to work that is you know what both of them do it let's get a stunt man and we'll just yeah this is all this is all gonna work

guys this is all gonna work you see it's like I want to come where you go and there is this incredible moment where Gary BC like to the window sees the guy has fallen on a car below and just goes like, yeah, he's probably fine. He walks away. So now all the cops have shown up for the post crime crime scenes scene that we always get. And we get Gary Bucy talking to his partner. And I love because they've set up so much bizarre

shit that now he has to explain it to the partner but he has his Gary Bucy so he can't act. So he's just going like, you know, as though he was saying like, you know, it didn't make sense for him to be wearing a football jersey and this kind of weather. He's goes, he goes like, there's really weird the way he used the force to get that knife and what? And his partner's like, the egg, Gary, What do you think happened do you think you miss saw it and he's like nah, I think it was probably the devil But you know, I don't I don't take into much that so wish it was you here because you could anti-devil Well, right big ache the partner actually says that he's like well, you know that guy was into some occult shit So maybe it was demons that possessed him.

Yeah, maybe it was. And then also, I love this moment so much, because they, they, they, they call them like, Office of Abuse, we have another call this time. It's at your address, and I wanted so bad from to pull up and like Mel Gibson's there with his daughter, you know, and pay back some bitch, Mr. Joshua. But that was not what we got. You see running again. No, we did get views. Joshua, but that was not what we got. You see running again though. No, we did get to you.

You were fantastic. I could just see like me walking alongside him going, so you're jogging, are you? Anyway, you're on like a diabetic cat. Yes, he's honestly crazy billionaire remaking this. I just insert Noah's cat alongside him, like just it make it a buddy cop movie with a cat always and every shot Mmm, I should look at our but holes get they said look at our but holes you get it

This is the first guy on this set who makes sense So he shows back up in his house just as they're like loading how he into an ambulance So he has to take his wife to go see him at the hospital or whatever. Where she has to like explain to him what just happened and apparently us. And here's the crazy thing and this is where this movie starts to get poisonous. They're Gary is like, oh, I mean your brother's obviously very ill. We have seen this behavior from him. We need to get him out.

But she's like, no, he's not mentally ill. Maybe he was before, but, he's not mentally ill. Maybe he was before, but this time it was the devil. Right. And also, by the way, over and over again in this fucking movie, she alludes to the fact that he was just fine. And then they put him on psychiatric medication and he got worse. Yeah.

They say that over and over again. Like, first of all, if he was just fine, why the fuck did they put him on psychiatric medication? But secondly, fuck you, you demonic sons of bitches. Mentally, you people do not need more of this bullshit stigma. No, they need their medications is what they need. They need every movie to be like, and then he took his medication, and he was fucking fine. That's a big fucking thing. Right.

And also, weird tonal moment here, Gary Bucy keeps cracking jokes, but it's like super not funny. His brother and I was being loaded into an ambulance after what he assumes is a suicide attempt. And he's like, I guess he had far to fall after all. And she's like, dude, what are you fucking doing? He's like, rabapap, or da da da. Yeah. don't like rabat pop it up that that

yeah is another gary buce lecture about mental illness we get here it's like an a meeting with like it is a lecture yet but at a bar while we're drunk yeah and again this movie wants you to take away from the scene that gary buce is being foolishly close minded to the idea that someone's brain can be taken over by a Ouija board. Right! Well, she even pulls up the generic Ouija board or whatever, and she says, look, he's playing with this. I know about these boards. They have demons in them.

Well, was he moving it? No, he wasn't moving it. A demon inside of him was moving it. He had his fingers on the plan, shut. Also, at the end of this scene here, there's this fantastic moment. She says like, Oh, you know, it was that weegee board. And what was in the script was Gary Bucy's character is supposed to become suspicious. But because Gary Bucy is insane and doesn't know what suspicious acting looks like, his entire face goes dead. And so I thought, all Gary Busy is evil and he's going to kill his wife. But no, that's just Gary Busy's performance of realizing the connection between the two

situations. Right. Right. Right. In the movie, it looks exactly like every other movie where a guy goes, she knows too much. Come here. Yeah. That's just Gary's thinking face. Exactly like every other movie where a guy goes she knows too much come here and yeah That's just Gary's thinking face

Look like you're thinking Gary like I'm what I got what let go of all the muscles in my face Wow, that's how you think I do it once a year Wow, that's how you think. Uh-huh. I'd do it once a year. ProcRISory. So now just so we can spend a little more time living in this demonic bullshit about how mentally old people should go see priests instead of doctors, they get to the hospital so they can visit how he and how he doesn't want to stay at the hospital, y'all. Right. And the sister is like, and he's like in the other room screaming and struggling against the bonds

that are holding him to a hospital bed. And she's like, can I bring him home with me? He seems upset by it here. And the doctor's like, there's a joke, right? You see him, we had to tie him down. He can't even be not tied down. And he just tried to murder your sister and then dive out a glass window like moments ago.

Yeah, no, but we took his weegee boards. And now we get the part where Margot Kitter shows up in the waiting room. Oh my god. And let's talk about this tiny moment that happens before they even say, oh, Gary Bucy has poured himself a cup of water. He brings that cup of water to his lips and like, gags on it and spits it out. There is no motivation for this. No.

It never comes back. I guarantee you, Gary Bucy is unable to drink liquid and they were like, fuck it. This is take 47. I'm not doing it. I would pay anything for the be I look I know there are people here who have access to people from cloud 10 Get me the footage you got know of the thing last week that was the script from the book So he actually got to find out what not since the Holy Roman Empire was I just want the previous 46 takes where Gary was like I got it It's fine. Oh

My nose 46 takes where carry was I got it's fine Get him another shirt He's bad at drinking yes, and again like you said there's not a reason for this none not at all Not at all but uh, so Margo Kitter shows up. She's the Christian sister and she's like I'm gonna explain to the mentally ill person that the literal prince of darkness is trying to murder him we can't all live in your fantasy world Tom move and he's like all right you know that's not happening absolutely not so they can't do an argument yeah yeah and again Margotter is an atheist and is condemned this fucking movie and also it's probably worth pointing out. Credit psychiatric medicine with saving her fucking life. Yeah.

So, you know, there's also that. I just, I want to give her at least a little bit of credit for coming out and saying, God, damn, this fucking shit. But yeah. We'll always forgive you if you're sorry. You hear that, Ray? It's not too late. I know you.

Come on. You can do a convention tour. You can lick me, make you do some file picture. Anything can happen, right? If we all work together, yeah, now I've got a whole fucking YouTube video about how I'm the antichrist. You're gonna take down pretty awesome. That I'm about to for one.

Anyway, so and there's also there's this weird detail of this argument that they have because they start arguing about God in the middle of the fucking hospital here. And this is where beauty says, well, I do believe in God. I just don't do it correctly. Right. Yeah, exactly. And he's, he's just basically explaining that he's not a biblical literist and she's like, oh, okay. Idiot. And he and he's like okay but what about like Noah and the arc and Jonah and the whale and I was like okay I'm ready for this answer and her answer is how would you know

it wait you're a dick well yeah right like well she's and she's just like well you haven't even't even read the book. How would you know? And I'm like, I've read book. I want to I want to back him up. It is a storybook full of ridiculous crazy shit. And like for a storybook, it's super fucked up. But instead, what he does is and I love this, this strategy I might employ at myself. He promises to go to church with her next Sunday.

If she'll shut the fuck up and if he doesn't become convinced by church next Sunday, she'll shut the fuck up forever. There is no question in my life that I would not offer this deal to. I love how these two actors are both super pissed about having to switch roles from real life for this acting argument. They probably had the exact opposite fight just off camera like five minutes ago. Right. And now they're like, God damn it. He's like, like all right what if I agree to go to church with you unlike you would in real life five minutes ago mario pitter. It's just a tiny moment but this the brilliance the great comedy of this

movie is in its tiny moments that when he promises to go to church with her he puts his arms on the shoulders in what is supposed to be like an act of love but Gary bucy very clearly put his entire body weight on the mojo canter and she's you can tell her like look at the camera and be like uh-uh he's doing it he's doing it he's doing it all of him always like resty sleepy time time sleepy sleepy rest Sleepy time time sleepy I'm not Baldwin no you're So that we head back to how he's hospital bed. We're Susie now Susie is Gary B. C's wife and how he's sister That's that character and she's trying to talk him down and he's like well you just listen to me for a second Like a fucking reasonable person demons are in control of my brain. What is so hard to understand about this?

Right. And this is that this was actually really like, I was having so much fun with fucking Gary Busy. I really was. And this was the part where like this movie very clear, it was like, look, if someone earnestly tells you that their brain is being controlled by demons and they need to get out of a hospital, you need to break them out of that hospital so that they can run free. That's a magically dangerous statement. We've had some like, uh-oh, those pills aren't much good for you. And they piss me off when they're just like, oh, don't take your medication, just pray

on it. But like, break you out of an asylum is a whole new level of poisonous and dangerous. Well, I mean, there's even, because Gary Busy comes and gets her or whatever, and they're standing out in the hall talking about shit. And the nurse shows up to give him medicine. The sister literally stands between her mentally ill brother

and the medicine he needs. Yeah, right. This movie is criminally anti-medicine. Like, Nurse Ratchet walks up to give like this huge silver tray of like 50 cartoon size injections and cut his brain out with a spoon. Come on. Fuck you. Well, and so she runs the nurse off.

So then the doctor has to show up to convince him that he needs the medicine, but first he has to give us the 10% brain myth. Yeah. Oh, so happy because again, that was really like unhappy. I was really not enjoying that. to convince him that he needs the medicine but first he has to give us the 10% brain myth yeah happy because again i was really like unhappy i was really not enjoying that but then the actor holds up a colored in thing of the brain and a not colored in thing of the brain is like you see this is a normal brain only using ten to twelve percent which is why he can't breathe or but this over here is the concept for the movie Lucy we can see your boob at one hour and three minutes to 42 seconds and

that's that's this right over here and we put all sorts of color on there which you know he has magic powers. This is all wrong, right? Like I, I know. Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. No, no. I mean, the doctor might as well be talking about like removing Jason's brain freeze for $600 with tweezers.

Like, but decide I can never get to broken heart, but the brain freeze is easy. Also, question and I look, maybe I just don't understand this logical leap and it's a movie thing It's not a Christian movie thing, but why does the person is now using more of their brain always mean they can move shit with it Stronger guys don't get the ability to like make their muscles travel through time get the ability to like make their muscles travel through time. So why not more brains always be moving shit without touching it? Why isn't it just like speaking faster? You know, official lawyer for Puglorn, a thunderstorm.

If Andrew used more of his brain than me, if we did anything, we were like, oh, no, he turns out he's got 3% more brain. I'd be like, sure, that makes sense, I get it. But I, it was like, oh no, Andrew can live to car. What is brain? Well, I guess that's the whole point, right? Because obviously people who are into the 10% brain myth aren't interested in getting smarter,

they want to move shit with their minds. So, I guess, and it kind of fade away if it wasn't for that. No, we need to make that into a poster and sell it people who are interested in the ten percent brain myth are not interested in getting smarter it so yes so after the doctor explains that even the inactive parts of his brain are working

uh... that's an actual line by the way we cut back inside where now i guess gypsy david small he has appeared in the room in such a way that only how he can see him and start choking him to death right but christian sister uh... marketer can sense the demon devil and he can kill her well she can kill him while she's in the room because she's so christian right is jamming this signal whatever room because she's so Christian. Right. She's jamming this signal. She's like whatever.

Yeah. That's why I tape a Christian baby to me at all times. Right, right. No, it makes sense. She even goes after me. It makes sense. That's not why you do it, but if that would make sense, if that was the reason.

Well, the way I was holding him on at first was apparently the looks in the eye of when we get into it. We're not having this fight on here. No, we're not. I'm just saying I had a tape and glue freeway of keeping that baby attached to my body and no end Andrew shot it down. I have a point and click way of getting this out of the finished episode. Luckily, so you just cut it. It's already out. I pre cut this before you even set me on so

And then of course Margot Kitter has to give how we a protective quartz crystal because there's some amount of stupidity We haven't used yet in this movie. I swear I was expecting him to go. Do you have a homeopathic crystal or something because There's still more bullshit that could be in this film. i guarantee you that's how he mandels real life like purell talisman christlie's purell germ phobia's not funny but he's an asshole for doing this movie well yeah he's asked for a lot of reasons i guess um so yeah so gary starting against suspicious because the crazy guy he talked to was talking

about mac alloso and and and how he was talking about Maca-Lusso. So he goes, hey, you know what? I'm going to go check out the autopsy of that guy who jumped out of the window. Now, first of all, why the fuck would they be doing an autopsy on a guy who trying to determine the cause of death are they? What's he expecting? Like, looks like he jumped out of 14th floor window. Right. Also also maybe a demon

uh... just as i thought poison and i think that the house comes out of the room it's never loopess but that that that that that that that but unfortunately for the bad guys when he does get to the corner's office it turns out that the evil demons But unfortunately for the bad guys, when he does get to the coroner's office, it turns out that the evil demons have chosen that particular room to stand around plotting. Talk about it.

Yeah. Yeah. And specifically saying, it's a shame how he, man, Dull wasn't also properly killed, but luckily we've sent someone to take care of that. Whoa. Oh my God. it's incredible. And then he runs away. No, no, he doesn't, but yes, he locomotives away.

He was stabbed because of all his legs. He can't. Yes, I had quote unquote hustles in my notes. But yes, so he runs up gun in hand, but the room is empty because apparently the Margot Kitter has broken how he out of the hospital like a good person would. Yeah. And he sees them escaping out the window. He turns around and the two bad guys confront him. And this is again, possibly my, I can't say my favorite scene. They're all my favorite scene. They're all so good.

It's my favorite scene, I think. Yeah. The two bad guys go, so who heard what your brother was saying except for you and he goes, oh, well, the ambulance driver and he goes, Johnson, you know what to do. And Johnson walks out of the room and comes back in like three seconds later. Yes. Yeah. Literally three seconds later immediately

and will find out later that in those three seconds he a murdered the ambulance driver and b background check on gary buc and okay and i also love to like because gary buc doesn't sell out the ambulance driver it's the doctor walking by you're right who else knows about this in the doctor just what happens to be walking by right then you know

walking past tell you about the ambulance driver in his amount of knowledge related to the says that jimmy hot was buried right near the fifty are thank you doctor thank you enough moving on yeah so so the johnson or whatever leaves the one federal agent leaves goes and kills the ambulance driver and they comes back and he says to the other guy excuse me sir can i talk to you outside for a moment takes him outside and he's like uh... turns out that that guy in there isn't just a cop he's the guys

brother-in-law and the other dude is like why didn't you just walk in and say hey aren't you that dude's brother-in-law instead of like pulling me out here so he could escape but he's a sensible thing he goes he's more than a cop and I wanted him so badly to be like he's also a shark shark car you know you patrons you think you just get to show early you get the little bonus things you get your special tickets to the show no you help make shark cop happen when we eventually get that crazy billionaire money you're investing I do like shark cop I think I think I might have a buyer on that

starring Gary bucy yes of course there's no special effects it's just Gary bucy and he's and he's always running in every scene on speaking of our this is where we get him, this is probably the longest single run that we get on camera. And it's amazing because he clearly gives up on running like eight seconds into this. So like he runs out of the hospital,

Huff and Puffs is way to the ambulance. The ambulance, the one ambulance this hospital has by the way is sitting across the street with a dead guy in it. So apparently just, I don't know if he went and killed all the ambulance, the one ambulance this hospital has, by the way, is sitting across the street with a dead guy in it. So apparently, I don't know if he went and killed all the ambulance drivers or they just had the one, whatever. And then, of course, he has to run off from there. They get him running downstairs and it looks like it looks like it looks like a fucking toddler

trying to negotiate stairs in a hurry. So good. And he has to like, it's like he's a big truck and he has to like break early So you know He's gonna like has to stop like 20 feet later from the camera on the Lean back So good God it's so good So he jumps in his in his car to drive away because he's figured out that the

Bad guys are murder or whatever. And he calls his wife to warn her. But as he's calling her, a truck is suddenly coming right at him. And his brakes won't work because apparently his instinct was to use the brakes when there's a truck coming right at him. And also the steering wheel doesn't work. Oh, okay. He clicks it for a second. So like the steering wheel says, but either way, are they broken on a delay? How did they set this up? Like he clearly used the brakes and the spurs. They're very, they're so far. And then they're both, and then the big

truck has the same problem. The big truck just like goes right at him and doesn't swear over use brakes enough. Yeah, right. I think we're supposed to believe that Satan was taking care of that himself, but it seems like Satan could have just killed him. Yeah. Right. Or you think Satan would kill him if that was the case. Yeah. Put him in a coma. So yeah, so that he gets in the car accident, then we get him waking up in a hospital, and apparently he's been in a coma because he walks to the mirror and he's got a beard and long hair. Oh my god, it's rip, then we can't level up a comical. Okay, so look, there's a movie trope of like guy wakes up from the coma in the zombie movie

and can instantly walk and do all the things that a human body can't do after it's been in a coma for years and years. But like, okay, that movie trope aside, Gary Busy leaps out of bed and like, oh, I don't need that anymore, scoop, doop, doop, doop, doop. He has like, dumbledore level hair in here. He does. And the moment he gets out of bed,

a one armed man goes, hey man, they're gonna put some evil goggles on here your wife isn't here i'm all you've got we're best friends now my name's carl run pheww yeah yeah right so the the one-armed guy is warning him that he has to pretend that he's still in a coma or they'll come and put the glasses on him and what happens if you get goggled while you're asleep?

Why can't they do that? Well, right, because you'd figure then people would just close their eyes when you goggled them. It would be pretty. Oh, I would pay anything to watch that world where you could just close your eyes to stop it and the guys like, fine, we're just going to keep these goggles on you, dude. Whatever.

I can sleep this way. Yeah, look at all of this awesome fireworks. I got here But you wish you could see those walk in a guy in VR goggles around a museum. Oh the Monay Look Margot Robys naked over here. Look at that look at the boobs on her. Huh? Yeah, but so yeah, so they so then the bad guys come in and just to reinforce this and he's naked over here look at that look at the boobs on her uh... yeah but so here so they think so then the bad guys come in and just reinforce this and slap the goggles on the one arm guy like seconds after he's made this warning or whatever uh... and so he shows back up in virtual reality the matrix construct from the

last movie and this is where we get the anti christ show showing up to like, you know talk them into Satan-ing Yeah, right cuz he's gonna grow his arm back. Yeah, right, and I really wanted the guy to ask for something else Satan's just like oh you want an iPad? Think of this as an easy one you have one army. It has to be your right arm. So you could take the mark I'm just you want no It has to be your right arm so you can take the mark. I'm just, you want both there? No, no, no, no, I'm good.

I just want the iPad. Ooh, 64 gigs with the AT&T connection, not the Verizon connection. I'm actually kind of into the stub thing. I'll tell you about it later. You're Satan, so you're probably into this too. I don't know if you... I got a website, I want our one and from my new iPad.

So meanwhile, as this is all going on, as the one armed guy is deciding to take the mark and be Satan II, we get Gary Busy sneaking out, which is a good thing because as soon as the bad guy takes the mark, he goes, like, now he's on Satan's side and he's like, Gary Busy woke up. He's just pretending to be asleep. So now the bad guys are on to him. And by the way, he's in this little locker room with Genesis 11, six on the wall, but not really it just says now nothing will be impossible. So the new O.N.E. propaganda department is using slogans from no fear t-shirts from their

early 90s. Wonderful. He also decides to shave at this point. Oh, yeah. Look in the mirror and be like, oh, I should shave and cut my hair perfectly before you see me again, which we will get to. Try myself in this hospital as I'm running from the demon bad guys. So now we cut to a van down by the river.

Yeah. Margaret kiddos in there and Sholo Panda from the last movie and Helen is in there. But Helen, hey, good news. Helen is apparently stopped working for Santa since the last movie. She realized that her nose should be the same color as the rest of her face. Huh. What a none. You're the thunk. Right. And they're doing a pirate broadcast from their news van to cut in on Macauluso's speech thingy. Yeah. That's their news. They're doing a pirate broadcast from their news van to cut in on Macauluso's speech thingy. That's their news. Televatoes videos.

Right. Exactly. And just one little detail on Macauluso's thing, he's got the OME logo behind him with a Latin phrase on it. The Latin phrase means the world wants to be deceived. I translate it. Nobody reads Latin in this world. It's like, oh, that's suspicious that you would

I know it's like a magic thing you know that we haven't gotten around to it but I got a whole magic special I'm called the super deceiver yeah and of course what we're supposed to learn here and I want to make a quick correction up a moral killer was not and it was a Gary Busy's wife character Susie that was in there with Christful Panda and Helen All right, that's right. Kitter gets evaporated. Yeah. Yeah. I will learn later that she got raptured away But yeah, so their thing I guess is that they break into the TV broadcasts of Mac alluzzo and put

is that they break into the TV broadcasts of Macolution and put televanjalous there. Instead of just like, hey guys, me, Helen Hannah, I just want to let you know, he's the any Christ. Instead, they have to just like circle around it. Just report the news then. Yeah, you're able to do this. So stupid. And they also, they have this little math problem here. They come to Panda guy.

So glad you bring this up. All right. So our, like, hacker thing has a range of 1200 miles. And that covers about 20 million viewers. Now, what? Now, you know, the ocean thing about this, if they have a radius of 1200 miles, that's like 4.5 million square miles. They're covering more land than the entire United States. But they're bad with pie. So just so that you know, pie could be 0.14 smaller, and they're still way off.

Like they could be on a coast. They could be in like yellow, knife, you content wherever under Canada, which would be really stupid thing to do, but they could be there and cover way more than 20 million people being in Canada Is a stupid thing to do he said that guys tweet him about it anyway now of course I'm trying to be a male from that guy. Yeah Yes, we do have Negroes in Canada by the way and he like cited it with Wikipedia and everything. He was sorry bother us like for

the back P L D R Now he knows you were lying anyway, no, it was actually a very sweet email. Yes, we know that there are like more than seven black people in in Canada But thanks for thanks for giving us some evidence to move back that down. Jesus Christ dude Thanks for giving us some evidence to back that down. Jesus Christ, dude. So yeah, but now unfortunately with their petty 1200 mile range from this van, they can't really do all they want. What they really want is the ability to hack into the satellites that the one controls every TV in the world.

Like, nobody's going to be watching be watching porn on internet or Netflix or... Nope. If only they could, yeah, right, right. And now we cut to Gary Busey, like, emerging in his janitor clothes, and he is, he looked higherly clean, shaving, and his hair has got, he is, he is like a cartoon, like a comedy. He comes out from this room where we have not seen him with razor and scissors for four hours. He's just staring in the mirror and he goes like, and then he walks out totally clean,

shaving with a perfect haircut. Yeah. And a Gary Bucy oversized Hawaiian shirt that he picked out from a closet of Gary Bucy oversized Hawaiian shirt. It's very good. Did that come from? Yeah. And of course, the bad guys are catching up with them.

So he has to run off, but he's all comatose, you know, because they, you know, they had have, you know, you know, how combas will give you a limp. Anyway, he's got one of those coma, coma lips. And but what's so funny is like he's clearly trying to be like a guy who was in a coma for years and hasn't like clearly gotten control of his legs back, but it's so similar to just Gary Busy running. I don't feel like I could prove that's what he was going for. Gary what's it like when you normal run? Okay it's like when it's hard for you to run.

Now do the first one again. Second one. First one. So, and also, because Eli was talking earlier about how it's like watching like a grown-up chase a toddler or whatever, in this scene, in order to make it work, in order to make Gary Busy able to like outrun the bad guy, Gypsy David Smolly, like hovers slowly towards him, while using telekinesis to lock all the doors he might go into. Yeah, because if he took a full adult stride, he would step on the back of Gary Busy's shoe. Exactly.

You see also blocks a door right before this with the ladder above the door knob, which is fantastic. Yeah, it was like, he just like puts a ladder somewhere near a door and like, the guy, the four guys chasing him, like, ah, they're thwarted. Yeah. It was like the dude putting the fucking chair up. Exactly. I was expecting the door to open up myself. But of course, Busey manages to get out of the way.

And this is honestly the closest this movie ever got to being clever, because like the demon is like locking all the doors on him with his telekinesis and then busy burst through this one door and runs off. And the demon is like, what the fuck, man, goes in the check, the door, that's the old chapel, goddammit. Now, luckily the chapel has an exit that goes to the street or something too. And why even use door closing powers? It just use poofing into existence thing.

Is it like next to him or whatever? Or taking adult stride? Yeah, right. I want him to get a talking to, hey man, you do the dramatic thing too often. So like you could have just caught Gary, huh? You could have, I could have. You're right, you're right.

This is on me. This is on me. It's like, you know, you can't have so many people with a gun as I'm about to do in a hallway just full of homeless people. I'm just gonna kill the cops. And I figure why not spice it up, you know? Or so I need some company with me.

I know I'm a demon, but can you send to me? I get lonely. I'm thinking of a thing, it starts with an egg. Ha, ha, ha. Is it as you guys. Oh my god. Can you guys play this before? Yes, we get thwarted by the prayer chap old door and I just really wanted him to try to phase through the wall like the other guy from the last one just like bump his head

and realize he can't do it. What the fuck Parker in part two got wall phasing. I'm going to report this to demonosha. I really don't know. I'm gonna report this to demonosha. Whatever. And of course, then we get Gary, like, getting out of the hospital into the real world. And the first thing he sees when he gets out into this crazy new post-rapture world that

he was in a coma through or whatever is the cops smashing to this black dude's car and pull him out of this car and I'm like oh so it hasn't changed much no you can tell this is a movie because the cops don't kill the black guy well they did not directly not immediately yeah instead they forced the virtual reality glasses on to him so that we can watch some character we've never met and will never see again go through his like tempted by the anti-Christ moment. When was this Ronnie? I thought this was Ronnie from Ronnie. Well, he's the same guy. I know the character's name was Ronnie, but it wasn't the same actor, was it?

Black? I was then so Washington, my bad. I Washed in so Washington my bad But wait, Ronnie, I'm not in it When Ronnie appears in the virtual reality thing like everyone sees what they want that's the whole thing So when we appears there's just a cobra on the ground like Ronnie Get it All right, Ronnie.

Started to take my shirt off and cover myself in bacon grease. Well, of course, Ronnie's wearing a cross, so you know, he's not going to give it into this damn antichrist. So, you know, he says like, you know, you can do whatever you want to this body, but you can't have my soul, you know, you can do whatever you want to this body, but you can't have my soul. You know, has this big. The Eli Bosnick story. And so of course the cobra bites him to death and then he dies.

So Gary's watching all of this happen. And then right when the guy dies, Anthony Weiner shows up to cheer the death of what did the guy look exactly like an old Anthony Weiner? I really did. Motherfucking danger. He comes right up and he's like serves him right huh and I wrote in my notes hey man we don't say black guys deserve to die unless it's on Facebook fuck fuck cut it out right but yeah of course danger walks up and he's like so the new plot is we all have the six six six mark. Go. Yeah. And he realizes that Gary doesn't have his marker, whatever.

So he has to run off. And of course, once again, the bad guys are right on his tail, but they have to like, all right, let's give him a head start. Hold on. He's taking a break. And just a quick question here. Does the existence of tattoos not from Satan ruin the entire plot? I feel like they do.

Like the haters could just foil Satan with Hannah and then it's over no Right so and so he runs into this alley full of bums where he's gonna hide I wanted one of them to be dipping a banana into like a garbage can of rainwater Just figuring something out And look this kind of sort of gets explained, but at first I was like wait There's people who took the mark and are homeless.

Like we put on the glasses and they were like, car more box. Like a nice one. But we learned that these people who are just living out in the open, they didn't get the mark. Right. And we learned this because David Smolocho, David Smolcho just walks around and he goes like, show me your mark. And he's like, nah, you know what, let's just kill all of these people. Yeah, bumps are gross. Yeah. So and of course, during this whole

bit, Gary needs to hide under a piece of cardboard, like a three year old, like this man thinks mental gear is a thing that really happened to him. It's so good. He hides under this piece of cardboard. I honest, there is no, I am not sure of anything more in the universe that they had to cut several times because Gary would go, nobody here. Nobody is going to live alone. Can't see me. Gary, they're just going to not see you. Yeah, because I yelled.

Carpory talks about ways. You can't see me, but I'm I yelled. Carbore talks about ways. You can't see me, but I'm under here. Carbore talks about this. I mean, crinkle, it's a crinkle. Re-appear. Yes, specked up a tronum. Yeah, but of course, before they can get to him, he's actually climbed into the sewer grade

that was under his cardboard box, I guess, or whatever. So he gets away. So he goes into this, this Asian dude's store and has to use his phone. And a guy's like, can I see the back of your hand? He goes, I don't speak no Chinese. Ray Bonan King me. The wife I need to talk to is this exact response yes, yes Exactly is my wife I need to talk to and they kept it When I'm the fucking Yoda grammar in the middle of this city so totally dead So for the Asian guy suspicious so he pulls out an anti-aircraft missile the civil war can and in his hand anti-aircraft missile civil war cannon in its hand. Well, like this, it is such a comically large gun

that I thought they were going for comic effect. Like, there's no other reason you would ever use this kind of disproportionately large gun unless you were, it would be like, if the guy in fucking Ingolary's Master's just happened to smoke that pipe, you know, no, that doesn't, that you're not supposed to put anyway. So he pulls out this gigantic gun. And of course, Gary Bucy uses that clever, you know, where you slap the gun, the guy's holding on you

thing. blows out the wick of the cannon runs away. Like he might as well, the guy might as well at the store duck behind the counter and then just like hover back up inside a higher jet like he laughs and then he slaps the jet away and runs out. So Gary's reaction might as well have been to grab the gun and put his finger on the other side like he had a trigger and be like no I have you at gun point. Don't make me do it. So, here he is, he runs out of the story, he still hasn't been able to call his wife, but he does see a guy on a cell phone, so he decides to steal that guy's phone.

Okay, now I have to talk about this. A huge amount of my job as a magician is choreographing this scene, right? Whenever there's a pickpocket scene, I've done like two movies and a bunch of commercials and a bunch of planes where someone goes, oh, we need to know what a pickpocket bump looks like. And if you want to know what it looks like when you don't hire a magician, it's this moment where Gary Bucy climbs on top of the gym and takes him for six and a half minutes and

walks away like a solar phone Trade secret you just do a normal bump and then the person has the thing. There's nothing special to choreograph But obviously the people who made this movie don't know it because Gary calls up this man's ass We're some is a puppet for six years There is a woman has two children called back out again and it's like, God is phone invisible, invisible. I thought I was going to have to cover myself in cardboard for not. So he goes to his old house and there's nobody there. So he breaks in by punching his way through the window. And again, that's probably just something Bucy did on sat in the like fuck, we got to work that into the movie, guys. No question bleeding hand for the rest of the day.

Cause he's got the bloody hand and he unlocks the door and he's walking. And as he's walking, Gary Bucy blows on his hand. He blows on his hand. I assume because Gary Bucy, feeling his thing, assumed his hand was on fire And also I love this because he still doesn't know what's going on So he turns on the TV to figure out what's going on and of course it's like the news explaining what's going on But I'm like what? Cake bosses that I mean like like the odds are if you turn on the TV

It's not gonna explain the plot of earth to you in the first few minutes But no of course because they don't really try that hard with these scripts. That's exactly what it's saying And of course during that they they I guess another televangelist breaks in on a pirate broadcast so we can go like oh yeah Yeah, remember from earlier they do that. It's the same footage from the last They really did just buy three clips. They bought like white haired fluffy hair lady We bought super receiver and the life my friends. They will think they're doing a good thing when they Jesus come into my heart Although there is one new addition in this movie Which I really appreciated which was the that we we get a fluffy haired lady who now helps Jim back or sell his buckets

And she goes now if someone is thinking this dirt in the tribulation What would you say and I wanted him so bad to be like? See You mama tapes now I'm gone. I'm up and heaven What Jesus Let me win he misses a shot and he goes, uh, good, good point. Good point, Gary, because it is, it is a good point. We see all these different preachers.

There's like, yeah, three of them now, because we see Helen in her van flipping through all different channels to check on her pirate broadcast. Why are they doing different preachers on each station? Are they trying to be like appropriate for each one? Like on Nickelodeon and his veggie tails? And then like, who can be a work for? Like, all right, Fox. She'll be on Fox. What the fuck? So meanwhile, we get we go back to Gary's house where he's like

still looking through all of his old shit. Turns out that ring from from the first scene is still there what are the odds? Yeah zero zero and some number. So yeah, and then his neighbor shows up with a gun demanding to see his mark. Yeah, and you see nox him out with a move he learned from dead pretending to know karate to impress his eight-year-old son's friend. Yep. Lovely. Yeah, I love to while they're fighting like at one point, the black guy, the neighbor growls. And he's tiger sounds. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. This will happen more than once in the film. And I love to, this made no fucking sense right? Because the bad, the neighbor comes in with a gun. Gary B. You see gets the gun from him and then he runs to another part of the house where

it pulls out a gun is that a gun i thought it was honestly i thought it was nunchucks i actually it's like a light blue strip of side i i watch this like six times and i concluded that it was nunchucks all the other so far to watch Gary V. It's just none truck. Am I 84% sure there is a cut none truck fight scene

that Gary do for like, did some serious self-harmon, they had to cut it for legal reasons. Like 19 year old Andrews had to arbitrate that because the none trucks were the cause of the industry, injury, they couldn't be in the movie. All right, so that is our number one crazy billionaire goal. We have to fucking write a movie.

Billionaire nunchucks sit in the movie. I have a nunchucks in the movie to get care of you see to do nunchucks on camera. He was in three seasons of the celebrity apprentice and celebrity apprentice all stars. I'm not a dude, I'm a dude, I'm a dude, I'm a dude, I'm a dude, I'm a dude, I'm a dude, I'm a dude, I'm a dude, I'm a dude, I'm a dude, I'm a dude, I'm a dude, I'm a dude, I'm a dude, I'm a dude, I'm a dude, I'm a dude, I'm a dude, I'm a dude, I'm a dude, I'm a dude, I'm a dude, I'm a dude, I'm a dude, I'm a dude, I'm a dude, I'm a dude, I'm a dude, I'm a dude, I'm a dude, I'm a dude, I'm a dude, I'm a dude, I'm a dude, I'm a dude, I'm a dude, I'm a dude, I'm a dude, I'm a dude, I'm a dude, I'm a dude, I'm a dude, I'm a dude, I'm a dude, I'm a dude, I'm a dude, I'm a dude, I'm a dude, I'm a dude, I'm a dude, I'm a dude, I'm a dude, I'm a dude, I'm a dude, I'm a dude, I'm a dude, I'm a dude, I'm a dude, I'm a dude, I'm a dude, I'm a dude, I'm a dude, I'm a dude, I'm a dude, I'm a dude, I'm a dude, I'm a dude, I'm a dude, I'm a dude, I'm a dude, I'm a dude, I'm a dude, I'm a dude, I'm a dude, I'm a dude, I'm a dude, I'm a dude, I'm a dude, I'm a dude, I'm a dude, I'm a dude, I'm a dude, I'm a dude, I'm a dude, I'm a dude, I'm a dude, I'm a dude, I'm doing whatever you want. Anything, just ask. 6666666. That's usually for cars. Ha ha ha ha. New York's loving that. Yeah, right. Ha ha ha.

Okay, so anyway, so we cut to that night, like he's left his house and now he's going to see Calvin with the hopes that Calvin will help. And when he admits that he doesn't have the mark, his brother's like, I'll freaked out, you know, like, oh, come on in quick before anybody sees you. Right. But he has the mark. Yes.

Yeah, we see that right away. And then we get this really weird moment. I wasn't really sure what they're going for here because he's like, you know, what happened to Eileen Calvin and he's like, who the fuck is that? He's like, it's the sister for from earlier. And Calvin doesn't know that she existed or denies that she existed now. Yeah, because they delete the sister like from your pick like you get a I guess if you were an early adopter you also got an eternal sunshine of the spotless mind package with it.

I don't want to remember my bitch sister like but there's they never explain why they would Photoshop his sister I mean did it get raptured from the pictures too we who in memory but wait we have to talk about his performance in the scene the whole point is this this this is fucking magic so Calvin says like all right the doctor said this might happen you You had a serious head injury. We don't have a sister and then you see, you see those first he takes a big pause and it's like, ready camera guy? Going full bucy. You watching? You're gonna miss it. You're gonna miss it. We have a texture. And but they're they're speaking very normally like he's like, look man man you had a head injury and you see Gary B. Go free.

Two, one, we have a gesture. And you can see the other actor gets surprised and upset which is amazing. You get to watch another actor be like, oh, that's obviously not. Oh, we're keeping going. Okay. Mmm. Mmm. And oh, my favorite moment I watched it like that was incredible

It's a great I can't backing it up until Anna was like you have to stop The movie died in the show very clearly in the script the guy was writing it imagine this is no we have a sister But instead he just yeah we have a sister, but instead he just, yeah, like he found it like he was dunking for sisters, like he came out with a sister in his teeth from a kiddie pool. He made more sense. So now of course Calvin wants him to try on these magic anti-Christ goggles. And this is where we like we learn that Calvin has telekinetic powers because he uses his telekinesis to grab the goggles.

This will never matter in any way. Right, but even with telekinesis, the goggles aren't the type of thing that you can force onto somebody because they're awkward and you can't just put them on. It's like trying to give a dog a pill and you see just like closes his mouth, move his head back, and then, so good.

So it's also like giving Gary Bucy a pill. I bet it's pretty much the same experience. And again, his performance here, he has this, again, the line is, I said I don't want to, right? And this is the performance Gary Bucy tries to get. I said I don't want to. Again, I know not everyone watches along with us but this one is on YouTube I promise you it is worth it just for the running cuddle up make some popcorn I wouldn't lead you wrong flash forward through everything that isn't

Gary Busey it's a minute comedy golf sign up for pureflix you get a month free it's the comedy cult. Sign up for Pure Flicks, you get a month free, it's in slightly better depth. It's worth. You use our code. And this is where Gary BC looks and he goes, oh yeah, in here, in the helmet. And I wanted him so badly to start whispering into the helmet like, hey, Lucifer, you know. And I'm like,

I'll coat my shelf a baby, boom, boom, baby. And this is where he says, my personal favorite line of the movie. I'm the one with the brain injury, but I'm beginning to think the rest of the world is insane. And I wrote in my notes, the Gary Bucy story. Shoulda wore it. I hope it, buddy. Shoulda wore it. I hope it.

Yeah. So and then of course, like he goes to wander off or whatever and the guy's like, no, you have to wear the goggles. Lucifer's the good guy. Trust me. And he and he tries to shoot him. But apparently this gun has no bullets in it. Yeah, Gary. Busy's gun that he brought had no bullets. Why why right? Nothing to make it make even less sense Gary Bucy goes all right I'm gonna leave and then he comes back and goes you know what I'll put the helmet on here get it because he's like knocked into the floor And he's like okay, and then you're boom knocks the karate Thompson on the back of the neck and he's knocked out

I love to like everyone in this movie who gets hit is unconscious for it's like the walking concoster something in this movie Oh and the chop is so it's a the walking concoster something in this movie. Oh, and the chopper. So it's a two handed backhand throughout each of it's so good. Yeah, you can only imagine how good that cut and unchuck scene was. So now that we've gone back to the hate, what's that over there? Well, for the third time in this act, I suppose the writers need a break as much as we do. So we'll pause for a couple of minutes and when we come back, we'll hop back into the undiagnosed mental illness that is Apocalypse 3. Tribulation. So, Mr. Quincy, who else heard what your brother-in-law was saying? Well, I'm not sure. The ambulance driver. The other folks that-

Oh, the ambulance driver, eh? Hey, Johnson, you know what to do. Wait, wait, what? What? Is he going to go kill the ambulance driver? What? No, of course not. You're not going to kill the ambulance driver at all. Are you a Johnson? Yeah, no, yeah, no, not at all.

Silly question. What were you going to do? Oh, I am. Like the second I mentioned the ambulance driver, he said you know what to do. What do you know what to do? What is what is what is Oh, right. No, that's a good job. Drive drive the ambulance. What drive the seriously, dude? Yeah. No, I'm gonna drive the ambulance. I figured he's gonna be tired, the driver, so I can drive his ambulance for a while. You know, take over. You're gonna go take over the ambulance driver's job

because he heard what my brother said about a big conspiracy. Those are the words I said. Uh-huh. Okay, he's on. See you guys later. Yep. Bye.

Dude, what the fuck? You're gonna drive the ambulance? I'm not good on the spot. You know this. What was I supposed to say? I don't know. I'm gonna go question him, maybe. I need to call that in.

No, I'll be like- English, you dumb- Fuck. I wouldn't drive the ambulance. Okay, well, next time, then I'll give you the knowing look and you killed a guy. Fine! Fine! Good! Okay, guess it's time to put on these goggles and... He's...

Heeeeee Whoa! Cool, I'll take the mark. If you take my... What? Oh, fuck it's you again, one of the podcasters. The hi-action. Yeah, so yeah, I'll take it.

I haven't offered you anything yet. This is just a blank white space where people... Yeah, no, no, it's totally great. I'll take it. Do I have to like, sign something or... Really? It's just... It's just a blank white space. people yeah no no it's totally great I'll take it do I have to like sign something or really it's just just a blank white space like that's that's what you want from the Messiah to take my mark yeah I'm pretty easy to please I'm I'm ready to go in this yeah I'm both trigger uh

jeez I guess yeah that's I feel kind bad. Can I get you anything else? I think it's spright if you're up, but only if you're up. Otherwise I'm good. No, you get spright, sure. Okay. You and the other guy, really easy to please, surprising, honestly. Oh yeah, what did Noah ask for? A water bed. Can you believe it? A water bed. I hear they're comfortable yeah you like sleeping on a balloon full of germs they are comfortable there no Casper and we're back for more of this nonsense and we're gonna start off this

time with Helen Hannah all captured and tortured in that demonic boardroom from earlier. Right. Panagram. And she's being like tortured to find out where God is. Yeah, where she keeps her God. Literally. And it's really weird. They have her chained up in this like strange style. Almost crucifixie, but not quite.

Yeah, almost like equally reasonable. One of those yard-sized zip lines for a dog. But it went way better. This is also where he tells her like, Oh, your God is running in a frayed. That's where your God is. And you can just, you just know the people watching this yelled at their TV. My God, I know coward. Yeah. Yeah.

And then of course he wanders that off every saying God will not help you blah blah blah He wanders off and she goes I'm in see it was all part of the plan You see but anyway, then we cut to Gary Bucy in a field because remember that tree that they were carving at the beginning of the movie Yeah, and and Gary Bucy like is hanging out of the tree. He's like, here you are new on high tree. And and how he Mandel is just hanging out in the tree. Now, okay. So weird. I want to explain just how stupid a scripting moment this is.

They clearly set up. Here's this tree where we're going to carve our artist was this is the meeting tree. So later on the movie where we all have to meet, we can figure this out. How he Mandel's character was not involved in that in any way. No. Right.

This is the sister or the brother-in-law that he met, you know, decades after. And when fucking Gary Busy says, how are you doing in this random tree in the woods? He's like, no fucking idea, man. We did not tackle that in the script. What's amazing is he's answer is I know right yeah it is that's all they've got that's all they've got it couldn't think of a goddamn reason in the world why he would be in that but neither can I movie we did a bad job we tried and it was hard. I'm writing this is hard. Harder than the love, uh, the bonds give it credit for when lawns, whatever the hell their name is. Yeah, what are you doing out here?

Oh, I'm going to catch you up on the plot thing. Uplink. This is perfect. I'll tell you about it. And it's amazing. They have to hug here because they're yeah, the movie or whatever. And how he Mandel clearly hates it. Like more than a normal version would hate it.

Yeah. Yeah. To be fair, like, we know Howie Mandel is like a germaphobe who's struggled with that for years, and like, if there's a human version of a germ, it's Gary Bucy. Exactly. Right, exactly.

So you get this like quick ass out double tap done hug and then how he man dealt like shivers and some it's a little bit as well as the packets. It's tough. And just to make sure that my notes are super confusing here. Now they start this like crosscutting thing where they're going from like how we catching Gary Busey up on the quote unquote plot and Helen having the glasses put on her and having her confrontation with the anti Christ. Yeah. And I love to like when when he's explaining this like Helen's basically her reaction is

like, I think you're underestimating way to bunch of intractable assholes. Christians are. You remember if you ever talk to one of us well She's also entirely not responding to any of his points in that she keeps your shitting on a cult and other religions Like he'll be like I am going to use mind control powers and should be like you can meditate and chant as much as you want But Jesus is way more powerful than you Not what I said. Oh, Buddha, more like Buddha. Right. You got your own thing going on here. Huh? Not what I'm saying. And then we come back to Satan and Helen in the matrix thing. And he's explaining his plot some more. And he says, I want company

in the lake of fire. I want a bunch of like company like to play rock paper scissors. I'm saying why would you say it and have to actually go in the lake of fire himself. I thought he runs the show. It makes no sense. I'm telling you the through line of this movie is that demons get lonely. Satan wandering around how to hate Jerry. How's it going? Oh, kind of like a party down here with so many people, huh? Oh Who wants to play pin the tail on the you And I was like look as like the whole time like the the the Andy Grayce character is cackling or whatever and Like I couldn't tell if that was like evil cackel or if this actor was just laughing at the dialogue they were

supposed to be having their anyway really we he transitions from like the rapie italian uber driver to like the leprechaun from the book of the leprechaun in voice especially when he laughs it's really weird uh... so yeah and then like so he admits that in reality he hates humans in a secret plan is to burn them all in hell but they're so stupid that they're gonna willingly walk along with them, you know, it's one of those like very obvious scenes in the movie where,

oh, I hope nobody's taping this so that you will see it later and then everyone will know what you're really up to kind of moments. So yeah, spoiler alert, and then they murder her with a guillotine. Right, and right before he lowers the blade and kills her, she goes, you're nothing like God, and I wanted him so badly to be like, how? Tell me one way in which I am not like God. Pass. And then the blade comes. I don't know, green slime and a blade, yeah.

Yeah. So now we cut back to Calvin waking up from bucies vicious karate chop double hand or whatever um and uh you know I guess going into the matrix to tell the anti-Christ that Gary bucie got away yeah so it's kind of stupid and then the anti-Christ decides that he's got to murder Right, and he murders him by speeding up his heart rate. And at this point, Gary Bucy, like, he's had the plot explained to him. So he decides to go back to like, check on Calvin.

Who knows why he goes back, but like, he's getting heartbeat into death. And when he pulls the goggles off, he's mouth is like wide open, like, oh, like roller coaster picture. Right? And he has fatally oh faced yes. Gary Bucy blows on him. Yeah.

It's a cool above. Well, he tries to touch his chest in a time. So he goes. It does. He's like soup, right? He's like soup. Again right? He's like, super. Again, like that's the brilliant, there's nothing more brilliant than Gary piece, right?

Because like, you can't direct every action and Gary was just like, I kept doing it. And they must have just been like, we're running out of real. Yeah. And also, what happened with the killing there? Did, like, did the guillotine, like, Satan was like there? Did the guillotine, like, Stater's like, bring out the guillotine

and the minions were like, oh yeah. Sorry, it's like jammed or something boss. You're gonna have to do the hard-attack thing, penis enlargement after you got there. We just killed that Canadian lady, so it's all therapy. We need it. It's gonna take a while to clean it. Fun fact, Canadians have syrup

for blood. Not everybody knows that. And then of course, while he's like while he's in there trying to save Cal with the bad guys pull up because apparently they know he's in there or don't or something. So he has to hide like a child playing hide and seek. Yeah, and they walk around the house. They don't see him, even though he's like in a closet right there. There's a miracle, but the minion is just seeing a wall. Is that what was happening? Did I see that correctly? Like was it a war room?

God, dude, so he was praying in this closet. Oh, you're good, in. Oh, it smells like Gary Busy and Prayer in here. And once again, the bad guys choose this exact moment and location to discuss their evil plans allowed. Oh, yes, of course. So they're like, yeah, you know, we don't know exactly what they were where they are, but we've set this trap with a fake but real satellite transmitter that'll give them everything they want. We don't know exactly where they are, but we know they're somewhere near Rat Lake. Remember from earlier? Well, it doesn't matter if you remember, because Gary Busy is going to clue you in by going

the cabin at that volume while hiding from these people. Yeah, the cottage. And I know I'm so badly going to be like, Gary, you're supposed to be invisible. Yeah. Oh, fuck. Again, you said that. Yeah. This is just Gary Bucy between takes hanging out in a closet, yelling at himself. Keep it rolling. This is going to do something else.

We haven't really mentioned the techno babble that they try in this movie. And it's spectacular from time to time. But at one point while they're discussing their evil plan, the one guy turns the other guy, he goes, the tracking device will pinpoint their location. It's like, it's a fucking tracking device, dude. It's like, that's what they do. It doesn't make the noodles.

Yeah. We hope that some zucchini noodles have the fat. So the bad guys leave, they, he closes his brother's eyes tries to pray and like that sort of awkward like you know how you do the thing where you clasp your hands you turn them around and everything can you wiggle that finger he does that when he's trying to pray. So but then he leaves but of course remember how his brother had those bombs that were so cleverly introduced earlier into the movie by them just being in his living room for no reason Yeah, he's gonna take the bombs with them. That'll be important

So anyway, then we head over to the cabin to check in on the gang of haters And this is another one of those great techno babble moments where she's like, you know, I don't understand We cracked the ground bay real is relay system for the dot dot dot shit Cracked the ground bay relay system for the dot dot dot shit. The satellite thing. Yeah, I, what are they doing there? They're trying to, they're trying to hack in and they're trying to get the password. I just want to point out, second movie in a row

where someone has just been baffled by a password and everyone else has been acting like it's a code that needs to be cracked. Yeah. One of these question marks stand for. Is it a Satan 666? Fuck. All right. Try with the capital S.

Our dollar sign. Try a dollar sign. Don't give away my password on air. By the way, Tichiba is there too. Again, I guess just like walked away at some point during last movie she's fine but and now she's only like seventy five years behind the times

she's just like rose a park much better in the next movie she's gonna be like a suit suit uh... we may she may she may you say that as a joke but you have no idea so then we cut to how we in Gary and they're heading up to rat Lake before it's too late. We know this because they pass a sign that says rat Lake. Like we're going to be like good. He's not driving the entirely

wrong place. I wanted to be a different sign. We'd spend a few hours with him and Mandel, just like arguing about a map. I told you we should have gone left. Oh, so yeah. So then they pull up and they can hear gunshots in the background. And apparently that's just so that we get to watch Busy runs some more. Oh, it's so good. And they burst in where all the bad or where all the good guys rather are hanging out. It's really hard to tell in this movie since they're the ones fighting against world peace. And he comes into warning that the O.N.E. guys are coming. But before that, we have to get this really awkward embrace between him and his wife and howie.

It's like a two way hug that like turns into a three way hug weirdly. You've never been there. We like running at someone and their sisters there and they're like, oh my god, me doing your all you're, oh, oh, oh. That was funny. That was funny. Apparently. Yeah. Yeah.

And of course, he's trying to warn him like that the O.N.E. guys are coming and they're shooting everybody that they see. But it's too late because an O.N.E. guy walks in on him. Well, he's saying that. Right. And so this O.N.E. guy decides to like smack talk the bible and then ask everyone individually if they're ready to die for the bible and it's such care i mean the bible is pretty easy to smacked talk

you know and but instead this guy's going to like oh you guys like to stupid little book with stupid in it once you marry a den that's about as good as he can be. Oh, I'm the Bible. Duh, duh. You were done with that. And Gary B.C. immediately is ready to die for the Bible. I wrote in my notes, Gary B.C. is ready to die for Arbys. Let's not overthink this.

So they all do like a I'm Spartacist version of, go ahead and shoot me for being Christian, except for how he Mendel. Yeah, he doesn't want to die for the Bible. So he runs off in shame and the bad guy lets him. I don't understand the scene at all. It's not clear.

They're all answering. Yes. What consequences is the agent setting up for the ones that say, yeah, he's pointing a gun and they say, yes, and he doesn't shoot the, I don't, I don't, I don't, I think that's the guy that's the plan is that he's going to execute every one of them after how he leaves. He just doesn't know. He's just going to like, he's checking him off the list.

Like, yeah, right. Right. All right. All the yeses get killed. Because I want to get into a minute of pictures. They everyone get together and line you up. I don't want to waste bullets. So make me do one bullet for everybody.

Just get, put you, okay, get in three's because if you like a bullet, we'll make it through three, two, we'll do two, all right? And then, just be on the same side. The odd number of you. Who wants the single bullet? Oh, don't be disliked about this. Don't make me choose.

Do you mean in my, okay? Also, this is also what we learned that, okay, you know, when the, when the Eddie Christ was going off on his, oh, if, if only those idiots in the world could see me now, they would not think I was a good guy and instead know I was a bad guy when he was doing that monologue. Helen was videotaping it the virtual reality thing and she was looking at contacts with contact lenses that can't get it. What? Who knows?

They really were trying. At this point, to be fair though, if this way they had to have been thinking, no one who's capable of formulating that question is still watching guys. Exactly. Like you would have the matrix and asked for, let me get contact lens cameras and got them and then went back out with it. There's no way to explain it.

We also cut to Macaluso here who's like, because again, we're going to break in with the footage of what he said in the VR world, right? So Macco's doing like a guided meditation with the world that's supposed to make everybody believe in him because when everyone believes in him, he'll be able to open the gates of hell, which is where he lives. But yeah, yeah, exactly. Yeah, he's got to get up to his 95 pers, he's got to get up to his 100th monkey. Right, apparently. Trying to get everyone to invest in thrive, right, he's like an old, a friend who looks up on Facebook, oh my God,

let's get lunch and you're like, oh man, you're part of an MLM, nope, thanks. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Anyway, so, and of course, while we're listening to McEluso Deliver his message, we get how he's sitting there feeling all cowardly for running off on everybody else.

Well, they were busy dying for God. And that was, it was such a boring scene. There's like six solid minutes of how he Mendel feeling bad. Yeah. And how he mendel should feel bad for a lot of things, chiefly being in this movie. And again, I'm with his theory that they just caught like how we yelling at his agent on the phone and then crying and then being like no use it Use it. It would be sorry about the thing. But yeah, that was super boring Yeah, and of course meanwhile we've got the bad guys showing up

You know, and that's why they can't cut into the message yet because the bad guys will be able to find them and be able to like jam their Frequency with the frequency jam or thing that they have. But luckily Gary B. Z knew they were coming, so he set a clever trap. When anybody cared to explain how his clever trap works. So he knew, look, when you're a bad guy and you're going to go into a building filled with haters, what do you do? You burst in the door and then you instantly

start shooting everything. All the objects. Yeah. Yeah. No, nothing in the shape. Anything in the shape. Right. Right. Yeah. Exactly. Exactly. So you just put your bombs that your brother had all over the place and they'll shoot the bombs and the house will blow up. Because that's how bombs work. Well, not immediately. They wait for you to realize faceily what's happened. And then they go, I hate it.

Yeah, if you never look down, you are. And then look at this guy's face. Is fucking amazing. Yes, my note here is he sees the bomb and he reacts like it's an ad on YouTube before a movie trailer. Oh, I can't it's an ad on YouTube before a movie trailer like and watching ad park

he is mildly disappointed and i love okay so if a they hadn't just walked in and started firing into an empty room or b bulletston make bombs explode or see they missed the bombs or d they went to the whole fucking cabin on the right side of them first instead of the one on the left side of them first. Yeah, the entire plan falls apart, but luckily for Gary Bucy, this movie really doesn't give a fuck and so they all blow up and now they can cut in with their pirate message. So they cut into the message and then how he sees it, right? Because he's in their van. He sees that the footage cuts in and he's like, oh, they did it.

And that makes him throw away his crystal. Because he doesn't need that crystal anymore because he's a Christian now. Christians don't need no stinkin' crystals. Right. And then it cuts back to Maccalusso, who's like realized they caught him on tape. Oh god, he starts to yell at the TV like the voicemail that I leave all my exes every time I get drugs. But I'll do this.

Come on. I'm sorry. Come back. You remember what you remember that night you said you got really close. I bet I could do that again. Anger up on, he pick up. Only down to this. Close to what?

What are you talking about? I can't really hear your line, dude. You guys never tell me anything. So and then the whole gang laughs like the Scooby gang or something at the end of the episode. And we should be done right now, right? We should not have to watch this movie anymore. But fuck us. Right. So Gary Busy turns to his wife and he goes, what day is it? And she goes Sunday. And he's like, good. Otherwise, you'd have to wait until Sunday and still be watching this movie or whatever. But he goes, what day is it? And she goes, Sunday, and he's like, good. Otherwise, you'd have to wait until Sunday

and still be watching this movie or whatever. But he goes, I have somewhere to go. Because you remember at the beginning of the movie where he promised Margot Ketter that he was gonna, that he was gonna go to her church next Sunday, and now it's Sunday. So he's gonna go to her church. Right, we've been great if we got six days of him

as Monday. We got six days of you, so you're just like, yeah, you're gonna go to church in like six days, just keep filming me. You were the only one. You were the only one. Still where you guys wanna do. Oh, one day, just now.

I'm gonna practice my non-chucks. I'm gonna practice my non-chucks. I'm gonna practice my non-chucks. I'm gonna practice my non-chucks. I'm gonna practice my non-chucks. I'm gonna practice my non-chucks. I'm gonna practice my non-chucks. I'm gonna practice my non-chucks.

I'm gonna practice my non-chucks. I'm gonna practice my non-chucks. I'm gonna practice my non-chucks. I'm gonna practice my non-chucks. I'm gonna practice my non-chucks. I'm gonna practice my non-chucks. Just calling everybody's sensei Throwing up oatmeal that they won't let him eat I can mark Halloween candy You won't give us money so we can pay garabies you to make this movie you understand you must yeah You understand? You must. Yeah. Oh, Jesus. We have finally found our calling. All right, so now we pull up to the Eileen's old church,

which is boarded up in barbed wire and everything else. And then he heads into the church to get right with God. And as he does, wouldn't you know it? How he pulls up at that very same church since he knew they would be there. Oh, sorry, we missed it. There's a deleted scene where the sister carved their names into the side of that church as well.

Oh, I saw the tallest church in the city. I don't know. Oh, well, that case. And we get the bet. Look, we've just watched a lot. I mean a lot of come to Jesus' speeches. And I think we can all agree, Gary Bucy's weird, creepy, single's night hitting on you,

he's the god, he's the greatest one we've had so far. He basically just starts off with like, what, I just want to get to know you. I wasn't gonna put my penis there yet. Yeah, he says I'm not good at saying prayers. So I'm gonna talk to you like you're right here because now I know you are. And again, anything in the world for him to just go I'm thinking of a thing animal vegetable ha ha ha ha ha ha

do you think if press god isn't good this weekend they're gonna put Roma in way thick ha ha yeah I got a test show in Tengans ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha And he tries so hard to cry near the end of the bottle, but it's clearly not working. And it looks like they eventually settled on waiting until he really had to pee. Because that's the look on his face. Guys, I'm here on how to make water come out of my body. You know I'm not allowed to be a lemonade during the big days.

Well, what if we give me the big lemonade at the annual temperatures, but then, but then no wee wee's time. I need help. It's probably where they got the inspiration for that opening scene with Calvin, yeah. I got guy who has said you old ice cream. I know that the jogging bucy scenes kind of make up for all the crap.

I know that the jogging bucy scenes kind of make up for all the crappy stuff, but in keeping with the theme of the show, I want you guys to pretend the movie was awful as you answer this final question. What is the worst Christmas present you could possibly get that would still be better than this movie. Um, I'm going to say one free credit on Eli's new Limerap. That can be arranged. You got three free credits for signing up. But one more. I'm going to go with Latino demons trench coat.

Good answer, good answer. And well, that does it for our review of Apocalypse 3 Tribulation. That's not gonna do it for the episode just yet, because these motherfuckers don't know how Trilogy's work, so Eli tell us. What's on deck? Oh, we've been waiting for it. So, hopefully start over. Judgment. Yes.

Yes. Mr. T. There is a step up from Gary F busie overlang is that step up This movie is about Hannah's Trinidad is alive if you watch the trailer. It's on YouTube Hannah's alive and she is on trial for being a Christian and Mr. T is head of the resistance. Also just something to point out that in the trailer, a woman says, I call Jesus Christ

the stand. What I'm saying, yes, this is going to be amazing. It's pretty fucking awesome. So with that to look forward to, we'll bring up episode 70 to a merciful close. Once again, a huge thanks to all the Patreon donors that helped make the show go. If you'd like to count yourself among their ranks, you can make a per episode donation at patreon.com slash god awful and thereby earn early access to an ad free version of every episode.

You can also help us a ton by leaving us a five star review on iTunes and by sharing this show on all your various social media platforms. And if you enjoy the show, be sure to check out our sibling shows, the skating atheists, and the scapularat available on iTunes, Stitcher, and wherever else podcasts live. If you have questions, comments, or cinematic suggestions, you can email GodLawfulMoviesatGmail.com. Our theme music was written and performed by Ryan Slotnik of Evil Giraffes on Mars. All additional music was written and performed by Morgan Clark. Thanks again for giving us a chunk of your life this week.

For Heathen, right, Neely, Bosnick? I'm No Illusions, promising to work hard on it. And on the truck next week, until then, we'll leave you with a breakfast club close. Hey, is that real music? Can you believe that shit? That's the... Alright. Tichaba went on to become the Reverend Al Sharpton in Part 4. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Because he heard what my brother said about a big conspiracy. He's been trying so hard.

He's been trying so hard. That's the first line. I was like, man, I was, this was my line after cuz there's no way haha haha I want to put this on Facebook live or something like you deserve to be here for this haha haha okay here we go this I was just watching some footage of him. It's a little bit southern, so I can't forget the southern and the teeth are in the way. I can't forget the teeth. I'm full of rainbows and sunshine.

Rainbows and the sunshine. What? Alright. You guys want to play Legos Can we just hire him is the intern oh Man we should hire him to play Legos Can't afford Gary Bucy Possibly we can afford Gary Bucy crazy hundred air money. I bought it. I bought a Metro card today There's no possible way we can afford Gary Musing. Crazy hundred air money. I bought a Metro card today.

There's no way I can't afford Gary Musing. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha The preceding podcast was a production of Puzzle and a Thundersdorm LLC, CABYRA 2016, all rights reserved.