God Awful Movies - 78: GAM078 The Fight Within

Episode Date: February 14, 2017

This week, guest masochist Devin Heater teams up with Eli and Noah for an atheist review of The Fight Within, the story of a patricidal Christian wrestler who punches people for money. And Jesus. --- If you’d like to make a per episode donation, please check us out on Patreon: http://patreon.com/godawful Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars. If you’d like to hear more, check out their Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts

I'm a big MMA fan. This touches on one of my biggest pet peeves in MMA where a guy is just beaten this shit out of another man for money. And then they do the interview in the octagon, right? Blood's still running down his face. And he goes, I want to thank Jesus without whom this wouldn't be possible. It's like, no, nonuh-nuh-nuh. Nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh. If Jesus is real, he doesn't like this. He... He doesn't like what you're doing with your time. You should do, he would say, Hey, maybe you should do something else.

God awful! Movie! OOVIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII Keith usually sits, he's off this week, but sitting 81 miles to my right is my bad friend, Eli Bosnick Eli. How are you this fine afternoon, sir? Fantastic. You know who's a great actor? Who's the Gavin Stone real, real chops that guy. Yeah, I missed him. I missed him.

And of course, joining us as well this week is improv comedian and rare returning guest massacres, Devon, he or Devon, welcome back. We've missed you. I didn't, I didn't really miss you guys that much to be throwing out. I sort of forgot about this whole thing. And then you guys were like, you want to do it. And I'm like, oh, yeah, should that be great? We are the dentist of podcasting.

Yeah. You know, I get letters in the mail from dentists I've never been to like three times a year. I'm gonna clean up and I'm like, how do you know? So you on the street the other day? Gross, bro. They're not wrong. I definitely need to go to the dentist, but they shouldn't know that. They're getting your information now. That's it's scary. The metadata shit that's going on. So tell us Eli, what will we be breaking down today?

We watched the fight within. It's an uplifting tale of a young man who punches a backstreet boy for Jesus. And here's a question for both you guys. How bad was this movie? I mean, I loved it. I don't know if the fuck you guys are talking about. I combined my two biggest thing. I'm a huge MMA fan and boy, do I love it when MMA fighters thank God for helping them beat this shit out of a man in the cage. God, God, really big fan of two guys beating each other's death for money. No, it might make it. Well, if you liked Rocky 2, but all the acting plot and characters made it hard to jerk off to you, this movie. I couldn't say to murder myself, I guess.

All right. So now, Devon, there's a bit of a common thread in Christian movies that they fuck up the sports thing really bad enough to have helmets on basketball players. And of course, like you said, you're a, you're a big MMA fan. I like to watch MMA, but I'm not like a huge fan or anything. My knowledge is pretty limited, but it seemed like they did, like for a Christian movie, an unusually good job with their sporting. Is that just like, it might just ignorant of it or it wasn't the worst. Like there was a lot of like, they were very, okay, I mean, like without getting into like weird

Brazilian jujitsu specifics. There was like a lot of like, they were very good at attacking each other, but no one in this world ever has learned how to stop someone from attacking. It's like, it's all offense. No one has any defense in this world. There was a lot of punch trading that didn't seem to be the way I remember MMA was, okay, your turn. He skipped my turn. He skipped my turn of the rest like, Is okay, your turn. But he's my turn. He's get my turn.

The rest like let him have his turn. It's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like baseball. Like, you know, in baseball, you get in that bat. And in this world of MMA, you get a, you get a punching turn. Well, but honestly, though, again, given what we're used to, I was expecting someone to get an at bat at some point. So I was impressed. Oh, is there anything

you guys would like to nominate this one for being the best at being the worst at? I don't want to spoil anything, but I'm going to go with best worst wisdom from a stranger. So, Devon, you don't watch nearly as many movies as we do of these of this type. This is the only movie I've ever seen. Well, I'm the other time I was on this podcast. You've seen two movies, Devon hates movies. I don't know why people likes movies so much. They suck. But there is a trope in these Christian movies you watch of getting wisdom from a wise old man. But in this movie, our protagonist will talk to a homeless man who will not say anything related to the statements that our main character will say and our main character

will not say anything related to what the homeless man will say. I'm not just these homeless. I just want to put that out there. Like at no point, I think he's a guy. I think he's like, I think he's a millionaire and they just everyone just makes these homies. It would be really awkward if towards the end, he was like, hey man, like, let's get you to a shelter. And he was like, what are you talking about? I live right over there. Why, why do you hang out by the gas station? I'm retired. I work in a lab. I don't know the gas station. You're a crap.

I don't think it's, and he just lets this retard and kid buy him pizza. I'm just, I don't know, you looked pretty punched flat. I thought it was being nice by letting you give me pizza. I would have been the best ending possible for this film. Us and Devon, do you have any best worst nominations? Yeah, it's definitely the best worst sexual tension I've ever seen. Everybody wanted to fuck everybody else in this movie, and it never even came close.

This is... Well, what's funny is I thought the worst sexual tension, the least sexual tension was between the main character and the love interest. Oh, no, they weren't interested in each other. No. But the two brothers, the two brothers wanted to, oh yeah, they wanted to get down on each other.

Oh yeah. And everybody wants Hayden. You still hands me. Everybody wants Hayden, not bad boy. What a handsome man. Oh, I'm gonna go spray fuck on the number of minutes left, not the total number of minutes, this was the best of those moments. That was, that was very sad. Well, Eli's obviously already lotioned up and ready to relive this homo erotic revenge fantasy, and we don't want him

drying out, so we'll keep the break brief, and when we come come back we'll break down all the half naked men rolling around together that is the fight with him Hi, I'm Eli Bosnick, you know We have a lot of fun here on the God off a movie's podcast, but sometimes we make jokes that go a little too far And today I need to take steps to remedy that Last week on the show I said that women from New Jersey were unattractive, and as a result, almost a dozen of you sent me pictures of your hot wife, some of them in bathing suits, and I would like to sincerely extend my apologies. Your wives are hot, and whoever you trap them in New Jersey is your business, but I take

it back, and I apologize. But I'm also a skeptic, and I'm gonna need more pictures of your hot wives, bonus points if she's choking or if you're stabbing her. And hey, listeners from Texas, your wives are all ugly. Prove me wrong. Thank you. Hey Eli, what are you doing in here with the mics and stuff?

There's a game on. Oh, nothing, we're just, what, we're doing a show? We're doing a show, show. Were you, sure, can often hear? No? What we're doing show we're doing show show where you Shurken off in here No I bet he was And we're back for the breakdown and we're gonna not even get all the way through the logos before we get 10 year old Punchy noises and we're gonna open up on our main character Logan

We're gonna heavy bag well he thinks back on his troubled childhood. Yeah. And his dad is Mario who took way too much HGH. No, excuse me. His dad is Dan the beast Severn UFC Hall of Famer and former heavyweight champion. Oh, I think I think also a tournament champion, if I'm not mistaken. Oh, let's get this right. Let's, let's make sure we really know who we're dealing with. Yeah, he's the beast. And if you're not familiar with Dan, the beast, Severin's works just to picture Robert Rodriguez bad guy and you've pretty much nailed it.

Or Google Dan Severin and find the first link, which says, welcome to the cave of Dan. That sounds right. Welcome to the cave of Dan. That sounds right. But dad is abusively like hard on his son wants him to be a champion fighter like he was. And it's just a montage of him being mad at Logan for being bad at what I assume is homosexuality practice right because he's like on a dude, but he's not in a dude. I don't understand.

I gotta say, I've never known a character's name more than in this first scene, because it's just basically Logan! Logan! Logan! Logan! Logan! Logan!

Logan! Logan! Logan! Logan! Logan! Logan! Logan! Logan! Logan! Logan! Logan! Logan! Spoiler pretty sure that he's called William later in the movie at one moment.

I think you're right. Yes. I think there was there. They left one in. His name is definitely Logan though. So question, what is dad's accent? Do we know where Dan, the beast, is that just getting punched all the time? Yeah, I think Dan, Dan, I think is probably, I think he's from Iowa, but like he, yeah, but it's a lifetime of getting punched in and dropped on his head. Yeah. No, I had his accent down his athlete hosting Saturday Night Live accent. Yeah.

Yeah. And what we're supposed to be learning here is that, you know, dad pushes his son too hard and his son wants to push back, but he just can't. And we're going to finish up that flashback. But first we have to stop to meet Muslim gimly. Sure. I have this Joe Rogan. That's great.

We're going to spend a lot of time talking about this particular character. So yeah. And this is eventually going to turn out to be Logan's brother Mason despite them very clearly being different races What's with the like Mason and Logan like that? What kind of who's name it? What what what the hell's going on with these names in this they went with the whitest names they could find for this movie Mason Logan Hayden and yeah, and Hayden is the bad guy and Hayden rhymes with Satan and that's not an accident, guys. Oh, yeah. Excellent point. Also, I want to point out and we

haven't talked about it yet, his brother has a terrible, terrible list. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I mean, is probably why this man learned to punch for a living? Because like, there's no way this guy made it through high school without being like, I'm gonna have to punch everybody who topped them out the way out top. Is he an MMA fighter or were they just like, well, so let me tell you, let me tell you,

I assumed, based on his terrible acting and Lisp, that he must have been an MMA fighter, I didn't recognize him. So I looked it up, no, no, no, he is Mike H. Taylor. I found his bio on IMDB. It does not mention the LISP and the bio. It does say, it does say, I will read you what it says about him.

Unestablished an established and extremely talented actor, a performer and fighter choreographer. Mike Taylor is making a name for himself in the film industry throughout his, through his unparalleled dedication skill as skills and focus. Is he now? So first of all, first of all, this is, this is, this is a good, towards the end, it's, he's an incredible onset asset, including staging, realistic fight scenes, performing daring stunts and exhibiting emotionally

charged acting emotionally charged emotionally charged. Yeah. He can charge those emotions up nice. Melon Colley is an emotion. So he's not a famous MMA fighter. They were just like, this guy's got great acting chops. No one will notice the list. Yeah, he just straight up auditioned for this.

So actually, I think it might even be worse than that. We had a listener right in about this movie, actually wrote in right when the movie came out and he trains at one of the two gyms where this was filmed. Gay. If I understand correctly, this character who is probably going to listen to this show and eventually kick our asses for all the things that we've said. Don't listen. He's an atheist.

Um, and like, if I'm not mistaken, like intentionally took a, a, a role where he was like, okay, but I don't have to spout any Jesus shit to hide. And you'll notice that he never does. Um, but I think he actually is the guy who owns the gym they were filming in. That's how we got his emotionally charged acting chops. Mark turned off. Turn off, Mark. Mark. We don't want any mark, which is just a bunch of just a couple of medians having a good time. You don't need to listen to this man. You're so great. It's not going to get better. That's

all I'm saying, man, if you still are listening, it's not going to get better from here. So now we got to get back to the flashback with dad. And this is where he punches his, his gets frustrated with his dad. And he says, you know, it's all about you. It's not about me. And then they get into a fight and he punches him right in the heart of the attack. And kills his dad. It's the five point poem exploding heart. Which which I believe is illegal in MMA. I do believe I consider a small joint manipulation. Yeah, exactly. We should point out he kills his dad. He straight up kills his dad and the rest of the movie every time he reveals that people will be like, you got to let it go, man. No, you

don't. You killed your dad. Yeah. Yeah. You you you punch an old man and the old man died. Like that's what happens when you punch old men. That's what the old man is damned the beast seven. I'm sorry. You'll never die. Well, and even like yet, because when he does reveal this later to people, he'll go like, yeah, like my dad died of a heart attack. He's like, right after you punched him in the heart. Like you have to put that in there because when they give you the, it's not your fault. Like you don't understand. I didn't put all the details in there, but yeah, right, right. Oh, and then of course, now it's time to meet Loretta love interest.

This character will get named like 51 minutes into the movie. She's Emma, but she, she just shoe horns her way to the movie. She shows up at this MMA fight so that she can put up asking to put up posters for her Her charity drive for her church. Yeah, and like I don't know I listen I don't work in a lot of charities, but like when I'm thinking like where can I put up posters? Oh that people will be like oh, I should donate to that charity I probably don't think the amateur MMA Jammin my neighborhood is full of rich philanthropists You know who has a lot of money, fucking, and care about other people?

Guys who can't even professionally beat this shit out of somebody for a living, but you want to do it as a hobby. I need two things. I need a place where I can fight with no rules and a charity that needs my undang the boy. Yes. Well, and they're going so overboard with the charity because she's raising money for like criminal sex slave African orphans. Pick one. Just pick one. Also, if you're

wondering what this character looks like, she gets asked why the long face a lot. Her face should have George Millais rocket flying into it. Yeah. If you, if she wore a piece of wood on the top of her head, she's a Halloween costume of a shovel. I'm trying to make a sea biscuit joke. I can't figure out. Suddenly she, you know, something she got cast and sea biscuit, that's sea biscuit. I don't know guys. Listen, I, they can't all be winners. So, and I also love to, and this is when I actually fell in love with this character and forgave him for all his terrible acting.

When she starts, he says, yeah, you can put up your poster. She's like, yeah, these sex slave criminal crackhead African orphans that I help are really, really criminally sex slavey. And he's like, all right, you can put them up and shut up. That's part of the condition is that you shut up. As long as you stop talking. Yeah, that's actually what he says. And I'm like, okay. Yeah. Mason don't give no shit. Go Mason. Unless it's unless it's like operation smile on the

can fix Mason's cleft palate. Yeah. Well, he was trying to say he didn't give any tits, but you know, you couldn't really tell. And now we got to cut to the locker room where Hayden, our main bad guy is bullying a character we will never return to. You can't be. He didn't just behave. So Hayden is the bad guy and we're going to learn that Hayden's motivation is that he wants to fight Logan because he was defeated the only time in his career by Logan back when Logan was a fighter. And as a result, Hayden will assault several people, but because it is around an MMA gym,

no one will pretend he's committing crimes. Yeah, it's like a double. It's a double A. Yeah, A. He's just he's committing every time you see him on screen, he commits assault like just every time. And like to everyone in the gym is on Hayden's side. But every time you see him interacting with the people of the gym, they all hate him because he's awful. But yet everyone's like, yeah, but he own, but Logan won't fight him.

So we're on Hayden's. Well, there is. And it also it strikes me that like setting aside the moral issues of having punched your dad death, it seems like if you had a I don't fight policy after that, the average person would be rather understanding. Right. That's just my guess. I don't hang around MMA guys so I don't know, but it seems like, oh, well, we got pussy

dad killer won't fight, you know, it does however raise the question of, why does he still train for MMA if he's got a never going to fight again policy like, well, see, I don't think that he has, I don't think that he's decided not to fight anymore. I think that the athletic commission revoked his license for using, for using the five point Palm exploding heart technique in the cage. I'm killing is killing his dad. No, that would make that would make perfect sense. That would be hilarious if it a certain place like, no, they see because they won't even

let me do that anymore. They won't license me because I killed people when I fight them. I killed my dad. They fucking die. That's frowned on. I punch them in the heart and they die. They have rules. They have rules.

They have rules. They have rules. They have rules. All right. You can't just kill a guy. Also, and this is very important that I bring this up now. So Hayden is, or Hayden's given Logan a bunch of shit for being such a pussy dad killer and not wanting to fight him. So Logan storms off. And when he does, he breaks the glass door leading into the gym, which I've got to say, it's going to be hugely expensive to replace.

But at any rate, that was most of the fucking budget for this movie was breaking that door, but that's going to come back later in an amazing fucking way. So I want to mention that, but he's headed off to school and we have to see like, we have this quick scene of where he accidentally kicks over the coffee and gives the guy is bottled water because of it. Just, you know, establish that Logan's a nice guy. He's not just about breaking glass windows and shit. But here was my problem with this scene is,

this is now the third scene we've seen Logan in, and in the first scene, he accidentally killed his dad. In the second scene, he smashes a glass door. In the third scene, he kicks over guys' coffee. I was like, dude, you might have a mess. Are you not aware of how your body works, Logan? Yeah, he's just a very violent Mr. McGoo. Oh, Mr. McGoo, but super violent.

Mr. McGoo as an MMA fighter. Oh, that's I like that shit. Everything's closed. I feel like the idea that like this is supposed to like show is like he's a good guy. See how he gave that guy his water after he knocked over the guy's drinks. That's not a that doesn't make you a good guy. That just that's just like you should do that. That's like that's your middle-mine.

That's my spectabee. Also, not a swap. Like if you knock over my $17 peppermint mocha with soy at 110 degrees and the chocolate sprinkles and an extra pump of mocha sauce and decalf of one shot and regular calf of the other and you give me a bottled water. I'm like, uh-uh. Uh-uh. you go to that Starbucks and you replace my 17 minute order. But it's like, it's it's these fucking, the scale is different for religious people. Is that like the Pope? Well, like everyone on Facebook, but oh my God, the Pope said gays aren't the worst thing

ever. Everyone's like, this is the best. What a great guy. I'm like, I've been saying that my whole life, my whole life, I felt like, no one's giving me any credit. And now this is like, I knocked over his drink and I gave him some water. So like, I'm a good guy. No, no, no, you're just not an asshole.

That's all I can do. The environment is that like, you're not a total shit bird. But that's the best we could say about you right now. I guess, and I guess that's what they were going for. Yeah. And also, it's time to subtly work in the conflict about moral relativism. So we're going to do that by having him in his ethics 101 class talking about moral relativism. Settle.

Very subtle. And he asked the girl, he goes, why shouldn't you murder someone? And this girl responds by saying, say you done murder someone for murder. You murder, go to, ah, and then the rest of the movie continues and no one's like, hey, are you okay?

Character who just spoke absolute Jewish. He's like, well, that's one answer. Main characters, what do you think? I love how every question is phrased in the form of a Christian talking point as well. But yeah, they call on the moral, on the, on the main character to ask about moral relativism. And he gives an answer that's kind of the right ish. And, and, and the, and the love interest who is sitting in his lap at this point is it you mean it's kind of like if you were angry and you smashed a glass door, but you're

really a good person, huh? And the teachers like no, yeah, not. And then yeah, the professor, the professor is like, no, that has nothing to do with the. Like, no, we're talking about, we're talking about utilitarianism shut up. I wanted there to be other scenes where she can only relate all of her subjects to smashing a glass door like X equals negative B plus or minus square root. It's kind of like smashing a glass door.

No, Emma, you need, it's not, see a doctor. I was like, what, like that's such a dick move. Like can you, can you imagine someone who he's never spoken to this woman? He has probably has no idea she was at the gym that day. Right. So like, like, hey, the only thing I know about you is that you broke a door and I'm gonna bring that up now

in front of a group of people. What? What the fuck? Show away, leave me alone. She gives a toast to the winner. Hi, sorry, just one real quick. He broke a glass door. Tick-t door. I'm Emma, by the way, you'll find that three quarters away through this wedding. Oh, and also, also this, you know, like they wrote this, right? Like so they could have

been talking about something that would have been related to breaking a glass door, but still being a good person. Like, you know, it's not like they had to find a way to fit this into an existing conversation or anything. But yeah, and just to really reinforce how bad they are at this writing movie shit, the following scene is like him leaving the, the, the class and her running up and saying, Hey, let's talk about the moral relativity of that window that you smashed. Oh, it was an accident. There's no moral, no moral thing here. I, I pushed it open real hard because I was mad at it broke. I didn't, I didn't kick my way out of it or anything.

Yeah. I killed my dad. That's, that's a much more interesting moral quandary. Right. I, I punched my dad in the heart and he died. Do I, should I be in jail right now? Yes, yes, you should. Have you punched someone and they die?

It is your fault. Sorry, internet means is. But here's the crazy thing, right? So she runs up and she's like, so do you actually believe in moral relativism? And his response is don't talk to me. And she's like, oh, okay. And he's like, sorry, can I try that again? Do you want to go out with me? And she's like, oh, okay. And he's like, sorry, can I try that again? Do you want to go out with me?

And she's like, yes. Yeah. What? You might as well just said, I think Pussy's are gross. And she's like, yeah, but do you want to date? Yes. She can fix him, you guys. She can fix him.

As we'll learn. So they go to they go out for lunch to a fancy place. I think you're a fan. Oh, they go to some super, super sad place for poor people. It's like a knock off TGI Friday. It's like, what is this coupon? Wait, come on. We're going to Cooper's CGI Thursday. TGI, it's not your birthday. And also they have this like, you know, this, I guess it's supposed to be a comedy beat where he orders super healthy. And she just gets a cheeseburger. That's backwards.

She should be eating a salad because she has a vagina. Get it? Comedy. It really is though. And that and that never pays off, by the way, like, it's just supposed to be a comedy beat because she has a uterus and a desire for cheese and meat. It's just letting you know that in the future, when they get married, she's going to put on a lot of weight. So get ready in the sequel. She's hot now because she's, you know, she's in college, but like it's going to get bad. Yeah. Well, the movie is a prequel for my 600 pound life on TLC.

Yes. So, and I love the conversation they're having here. Like she might as well say at one point, like, what would you say is your next most relevant bullet point on your characters biography? Yeah. And he's like, oh, yeah, I'll just announce all of my exposition. Do you want to announce all of yours? And she's like later in the movie later. I'm the girl. I just want you to let you know that I killed my dad and I'll tell it to you later. Tell you about it later. Yeah. What it's most, what it's most dramatic. But yeah, no, and they go through all his exposition and he's

like, what, what, enough about me? What about you? And she's like, Oh, I'm, I'm the lady in the movie. And they're like, okay, done with the scene, I guess. Nice. Let's go talk to a dog. Well, yeah, okay. And I'm so pissed about this dog not being a larger part of this film. I was like, oh, good dog. No, there will be a dog plot line, but really not really. No, most likable character in the movie, best actor in the movie. Yes. Although I've got to say I've never seen a dog more obviously not give a fuck about

the end. That dog was like, no, no, no, no, no. This motherfucker's got treats. Like, I don't care if he said he's got treats. I'm going to eat these treats. And then it wanders away during the scene. Like he runs out of treats and the dog's like, all right, off. Yeah. I got, I got no, I got no reason to stay then. I smell like body butter. And also, I think it's important that we point out

how useless this scene is because this is just him talking to his dog that will essentially never see again about the previous scene. Yep. And then it's back to the gym. Hey, dog and a girl, she had a hamburger. I had chicken. It was grilled chicken. It wasn't even breaded because that's unnecessary. I wanted the dog to be like, oh, you're so boring. Hey, man, when you killed your dad, what do you always bring that up? I ate one of my litter base, so I get it. What do you always bring that up?

I ate one of my litter mates, so I get it. We need to get dog and camel together to do their own flick. That's a hatred on goal right there. Dog and fat camel again. Hellbound kangaroo. You have to listen to all the episodes, all the episodes. All right. So now we're back to the gym where Hayden is still being a shit talking bully about this wussy little dad punch death or that won't fight him.

Yeah, Hayden's so mad. And it's amazing how little Mason knows what's going. Like again, every time we see Hayden, he's committing assault and Mason, the guy who runs the gym and trains everybody But doesn't talk to anybody because he has a list of them makes everybody uncomfortable Just is like it's just like nothing's business as usual no assaults happening here to the best of my knowledge I wanted it to escalate each scene so that the last scene like Mason walks over and Hayden's all covered in blood And he's like okay, go shower that off

technical sparring. So Mason and Logan wander off to the locker room to talk about the big strike hard event that's coming up, you know, where perhaps he can fight Johnny in the Cobra Kai. And apparently they want him to fight Hayden, like the big fight promoters for the Tuscaloose up strike hard event. Really want to pay a lot of money for Hayden to fight Logan. They sure do. So there, there's like podung little town's amateur MMA organization is paying five and

five. So $5,000 to show up $5,000 if you win, which means they have $15,000 to spend on one fight on this card. Yeah. And there's probably four or five different fights. So this is, this, whatever, this, the amateur MMA community in this town, which we never learn where it is, has a lot of money in it. Really does. That's, really does.

That's madness. That is crazy money. And as we'll learn towards the end of the movie, there are literally dozens of fat unattractive people who are going to come to this match. So it all bounces out. I assume they're going with several thousand dollars a ticket to balance out there. They'd have to. Yeah. But, you know, of course, Logan doesn't want to fight, but, you know, the gym needs the money, conflict, conflict, conflict. And this is basically where Mason says, man, you need to get over the dead, dad shit, your selfish bitch. And he

doesn't. You have to guess, you have to just guess this guy's intended emotion based on the line. You can't, there are no other cues. I wrote my notes. Was that a dramatic moment? You killed our dad two years ago. Get over it. And this is one of the first times we see the Hayden character commit a felony because when they come back out of the locker room, he's fighting with somebody who is very clearly tapping out and or and house tapped out and everyone around us and Hayden, he tapped out, stopped hitting him in the head and Hayden still hitting him in the head.

Yeah. And remember, everyone in the gym is on Hayden's side. Yeah. They all abandoned Logan. And Devon, but they're also watching, yeah. And Devon, I love your note here. Oh, oh, yes. Oh, yeah. No, Hayden commits assault. He goes to jail and the movie. Yes. So easy.

That should be, that should be it. It's, oh, hey, yeah, that guy at 40 people heard that guy say, please stop punching him. And then you kept punching him. And so that's not allowed. Oh, wait, question. Can I start an MMA career and then like secretly tap out and then the next time someone punches me like Sue him? What?

You can try. I encourage you to try. someone punches me like, sue him. What? I encourage you to try. My first match against Dan the beast. So, so, and, and also, of course, we also have to learn in this scene that like, you know, when dad died, Mason took over the, the gym and the only way the gym stays in businesses because Hayden is such a good fighting fighter. I'm not really sure how that works, but he has all this awesome fighting. How do gyms benefit from having a good fighter at their gym?

Well, you don't get robbed. That's a big way. That's a big part of it. Okay. All right. So yeah, moving on because I don't really know what the answer to that question is and I'm sure there really is one. It's time to meet the magical black character of the film. We get him like getting gas and he glances over and there's no, we all have him as homeless guy, but it's really just a guy with weird hair sitting on the steps, right? No, he's a CEO. He's a CEO of a successful tech startup. And he just, but like his nephew runs the gas station.

He hangs around. He's just there sometimes, you know, it's a beautiful spring day. He wanted to be outside and he likes to smell gas. Yeah. Well, you definitely strikes me as somebody who loves the smell of gasoline. So yeah, there is no indication really in this film that this character is homeless, that this character is hungry, or that this character is sane on any level. But he is the only black character. So the movie, the protagonist, and let's be honest, us all assume he's homeless guy.

And he's in fact, all of those things. And if you think about it, this is another one of those latte for a bottle of water moments, right? Because he feels like this guy, oh, this guy's hungry. So he goes in and he buys him gas station pizza. That is not better than hunger gas station pizza. Here's some cardboard with some easy cheese on it. This will help you die faster.

And let's be honest, it's probably what you're in for at this point. You're welcome. I'm just glad that all the good Christians in this community want to go to Mozambique to help people, but they don't give a fuck about this. They certainly don't.

The one homeless guy in town, and they're just like, nah. I want Emmett to hit the homeless guy later in this movie and be like, ah, my car's all messed up. Let's go to the lake. Well, I love to the guys reaction that we're going to keep calling him the homeless guy, because that's clearly what they were aiming for. His immediate reaction to the pizza is,

well, that's mighty my religion like of you, isn't it, son? Just like, what a dick. I mean, like, what if that was just a Muslim guy that bought him pizza? How insulting would that be? Anyway, so they talk about good choices in Jesus for a little while. And the old black guy tells him that what really matters is that you belong to his religion,

not so much anything else. This is why you don't feed homeless people. Yeah, we're all God's's children man with poop in his pants Aseus actual words are a little bit worse than that. It's if you ate God's child Who are you and I wanted him to be like Logan? No, no like who are you Logan? I don't think you get it. I don't think you get it. You might be the back. And okay, so then we get this really weird,

why the hell is this here scene where him and Emma are studying at the library? And basically he says to her, he's like, you know what, I cannot focus on this scene. Can I meet you in a later one? Yeah, yeah. Pretty much. You know, it's, I like libraries and the filmmakers like libraries. It's really just a movie, a movie that, you know, in this moment, they're just showing their appreciation for, for libraries. Yeah. They're great places. They're great places to hang out.

Read a book. I guess that's supposed to be more like see he's a good kid. He's hanging out at the library doing Thomas takes the bar exam. Yeah, I wanted Andrew so badly to wander over because they're asking a law question. I wanted him to wander over and be like, now see was attempting answer. It was, but actually I get all those questions wrong. Yeah. Anyway, yeah. So now that that scene is admitted, it has nothing to add to the story. Logan has to go talk to his brother Mason about turning down the big fight or whatever. And literally the dramatic moment of this scene is that Mason says, Hey man, you should just know.

Hayden says you're scared to fight. So everybody in the gym hates you now to the extent that one of at least one of them will threaten your girlfriend with a rape later in the movie. That's how mad they are that you won't get in the cage and punchy punch with Hayden. One of them will let Hayden be somewhere and then threaten your girlfriend with rape. Yes. That's how committed they are to the prostitute of him not wanting to fight, I guess. And now you guys are saying that that doesn't make sense to you.

Because you know, like sometimes how, because you know how other people are just objects to do things that you want them to do. Yeah. And the thing is, they're not real. They're not as real as you are. So I figured it's sort of like that. Like, yeah, when the people who aren't as real as I am, don't do the things that I want them to,

I get very angry. Try to murder their girlfriends. Well, normally we have Heath here to answer questions like this to relate to you more on that topic, but, uh, all right. I'll call him later. Okay. There's also this incredible moment. So like when Mason says it, it's a huge deal. What the movie wants you to think is like, he could take it from them, but he couldn't take it from Mason. So he wanders out into the gym and is like, everybody off the mats, everybody come fight me right now. Yeah. I hate fighting, but I'm going to fight all of you right now. I swear I never fight again, but hey, there's my brother. I think I'll kick his hand. So he fights his brother.

He fights his brother. And by the way, like they just do it on the floor. We have no punching. I feel like there's a ref and you don't wear khakis. Like I'm not an MMA expert. And also, by the way, Mason, like the actor playing Mason probably outweighs this guy by about 75 pounds. So like a fairly wrestling fight. There is no fucking chance for Logan here. No, yeah, he's going to get crushed. Although we do find out later on that he fights at 175, I think, and he's like a welterweight or something.

Yeah, he's a middleweight. And he's just, oh, he's a middleweight. They fight at 180, that's right. And like, absolutely not. You can look, if you look at, if you Google search any professional middleweight fighter, they look five times the size of everybody in this movie. Yeah, absolutely.

There's no question. The least realistic thing about this film is the actor playing Mason trying to pretend he's being wrestled to the ground by like a broomstick with arms. Just like, oh yeah. Yeah, you've got me. I'm all rethought to the grounds now and couldn't just slowly peel your arms away like a tiny, tiny big burger. And then devour you. Well, and I will say that this is one of those moments where the all offense, no defense

thing really comes out because there actually is some really interesting grappling going on. But it's only in the sense that like if you were showing someone how to get out of each of these moves, this is what you would show that, right? Right. It's, I'm going to, yeah, it's, I'm going to tack your arm only, only defend enough so that your arm doesn't get broken. And then, okay, now I'm, you, now you get to flip me over. Up on, oh, I got flipped over.

Now you're breaking, now you're choking me to death. All right, yeah. Yes. Now I'm going to flip over again. Oh, look at us. Yeah, they're taking turns choking each other like it's my anniversary. And Mason taps out because Logan clearly is the better fighter, but he doesn't even stop. He's now committing assault, trying to murder another person with his fighting skills, because you know how he is. Yeah. If Emma didn't walk in and be like, Logan, what are you doing? He would have murdered a second member of his family.

He has no fighting rule is a great idea for him. Also, Emma has a membership at the gym. I'm not working out at the gym now, because later on in the movie, she has a line, which is like, I don't understand this whole fighting thing. Then why the fuck you paying 150 bucks to come to the gym? Everyone took all her posters because of the great philanthropy community of that gym. She needed to drop off more posters. I guess that was the key.

So he runs outside to shirtlessly step brewed after the fight and Emma goes out to like comfort him. So that we get through this painful, you know, like you should understand moment. And then we have this even more painful moment where Hayden drives up to kick sand in his face and knock over his sand castle or whatever and offer to fuck his girlfriend for him. Yeah, man. I feel like there's he hadin who is definitely a bad guy. He really goes from zero to a hundred. He's like, Hey, man, he's supposed to fight me.

I want that money. He's like, ah, now I'm not going to fight you. And he's like, I'll rape your girlfriend and he's like, whoa. Next time he's, should I have threatened to rape James Lindsay's girlfriend? I just, I feel like I did it wrong. Cause I tweeted it to him and then we had a nice conversation. But yeah, there was, well, yeah, again, we usually have heath here to answer those like a dinner. Because I tweeted it in and then we had a nice conversation. But. Yeah, there was, well, yeah, again, we usually have Heath here to answer those questions.

But unfortunately, the one week he takes off. So now he drives her somewhere or something, I guess, to home, I guess. And she gives him a little shit for not having a job and then promises that she knows how to make him feel better if he comes inside. And it's not a blow job. Yeah, gentlemen. No, yeah, that was that's that's a real tough that she was really misleading. Yeah, it was a very, very upsetting, very, way more upsetting than dead dad. Because first of all, I already masturbated to the brother on brother wrestling scene. So I got some gatorade. I lubed up, and then she...

Replanet was electrolytes. Yeah, exactly. And she tells him to take a, and she's like, okay, I'll go get ready in the other room. And he's like, what are you gonna get ready? And she's like, and I've seen that porn. It's like, come on, dude, go take a peek. She's gonna be like playing DJ Dittlesworth.

And then you're like, eh, you wanna, but no, she brings him cookies. Yes. First of all, she's gonna be like playing DJ Dittlesworth and then you're like, I'm gonna, but no, she brings in cookies. Yes. First of all, she made those cookies real fast. And secondly, she did put one in her badge and say, here, have a cookie, either. Yeah. Did she just press dough into discs and then walk back into the room? Either that or she's like constantly has cookies baking in the house. All the time they're fresh cookies in her house, which is pretty fucking sweet. No, that actually is.

I mean, you know, it's no blow job, but it's pretty good. So yeah, and there's also like this, because now they have to establish the fact that she's super, super Christian, which I guess they didn't do enough with the posters or whatever. So he says, what's in that room over there, which is really odd unless it's the bedroom, and it's not. She's like, oh, this is my Jesus room where I write all my Jesus stuff and put maps of all my Jesus stuff. This is my, you are never going to get fucked room.

Yeah. I mean, like, first of all, I've never been in someone's house and just been like, what's in that room there? Right. That's a fucking weird question to ask. Like, either it's, you know, there's only so many rooms it could be. Like, you know, it's not the kitchen. You're in, you're in the living room. Bedroom on the first floor could be an apartment. Maybe it's the bathroom. I've never been that curious. maybe it's the bathroom. I've never been that curious. Also, like she's doing pretty well for herself as a college student, if she can afford an apartment that has an extra room just for Jesus.

Yeah, right. Like, where's your roommate? Come on, give me a fucking break. Get your shit together. In Africa. Uh, apparently, yeah. So now they have some, they, this very, this very watching porn with Eli moment where they just sit down to watch video of starving African kids. Yeah, pretty much exactly watching porn with Eli moment. If they both had tissue boxes, it would be identical. He also asks her why Africa, and I wanted her so bad to be like, look at me, hey, look at me Logan, big black, uncut, cock. And then they're just like watching Netflix, like,

you seem quiet. Yeah. Um, this is the most fun. Nothing. No big deal. So, so, so, I wonder are you going to have a kiss? So, yeah, so he puts his arm around her and they fall asleep together to starving African

children. You know, like you do. Well, like you do. Yeah, exactly. I'll starving African children born me to sleep. Get over it. Get over it. Get over it.

I get your bellies all swollen because you don't eat. I don't care. I want some rice. So yeah, I killed my dad. Kill my dad and I got away't care. I want some rice. So yeah, I killed my dad. Kill my dad and I got away with it. I can kill you. Look how easy that kid's heart would be to punch. I can fucking see it through his chest. Like a big fucking target right there. Come on in Bouta.

So we get, and of course, Wellie's a sleep to the starving African kids. We get another black and white dad. Please don't die on me, flashback. You know, just in case we forgot that he punched his dad to death at the beginning of this movie. And then she invites him to the next scene, which will be hanging out with her missionary friends. Boy, they aren't they a fun bunch, huh? Oh my god. It's interesting that they're all Southern. No one else in this movie is Southern. But all of these people are very Southern. Well, they have weird tubing and boats, huh? Some lake fun.

Yeah. Just a tiny note, not even really worth mentioning, but when they're traveling there, are they traveling in an open-topped bus or a restaurant? Or a wagon ram? Oh, they, and they never tell you. It's a God. It's a God mobile. Who's that? It's a Jesus Jesus car. It's the Pope mobile. Yeah, it's the weirdest like their facing backwards and all you see is a bar behind them as though they were on a ferris wheel going down a

forest track. And they never pan out enough to let you know what it is. And then you just see them and they're there. Yeah, movie that's called an establishing shot so that we don't just wonder what vehicle you traveled to the lake. And also this is such a bizarre fucking contrast, right? So we get them hanging out, having lunch with the friends or whatever. And they're all talking about how great it is to be selfless and to go to Africa and to give up all the pleasures of life. And then that's followed. Sex is for loser. Right. Right. But then that's followed immediately by the most self-absorbed water sports and jet skis montage of wealthy white privileged people that you can possibly imagine. We have Jesus loves water sports. We have fully 11 minutes of these teenagers just doing all the fun things

you can do when you're rich and white at a lake. Yeah, there's, there's tubing, there's jet skis. I wrote in my notes. Great. All we need is a zip lining montage in a Christian movie. And I get to kill myself, right? No, you're wrong. Also music note, uncle for crackers. Oh, nice, nice. And also, by the way, like this lead actress, I don't want to harp on this, but she is wearing the least sexy, like old lady swimming suit that you can imagine that wouldn't have a skirt attached to it. Like they went out of their way to very much not sexy this girl up, which is weird because they went to so many, so much effort to give us all sexified Logan.

There's also, it's again, just a tiny thing. He jumps off the dock backwards and turns towards her, and the film chooses to show this in slow motion, and I wanted him so badly to raise a gun to his head and shoot himself as he's showing up. Just like, gotcha. Boom. Some thin, tells me, man, man, just sounds like a... He just lands black on that matte thing they've been playing on. Everyone starts screaming. Movie takes a super-dark. Yeah, what there was.

That matte thing, by the way. You want one, right? Did you feel the same magic? That was magic. I didn't understand how that worked at all. I was like, they're standing on it, but it's also like going into the water. What's happening?

It's pretty nice. It's pretty nice. That's what Jesus used to trick everybody into thinking. Oh shit. I didn't even put that together. This was the walking on water scene. So yeah, they were walking all over that water. Yeah. So they have a fun day together. They even kiss like fourth graders in a play. Yeah, they kiss like they read about kissing. The book didn't have any picture. Yeah, right. in a play. They kissed like they read about kissing. The book didn't have any pick. Right. Right. They use a lip. They use a lip so we're involved. So they're driving home and they have this like he has this weird like I don't know if I can love Jesus enough

for you moment where she like offers offers up Pascal's key ring and she does. She does. He asks her, uh, he asks her like how she can, because he doesn't ask like why she does it for Jesus. Logan's journey seems to be how it's possible to care about other human beings. Yes. Right. She's like, well, you know, I don't understand why you would do something. Charity was like, we bought the guy the pizza. I mean, I don't consider that charity because I know how bad that pizza is, but the movie clearly does. Right. Don't you remember when you knocked

over that guy's latte? Yeah. That's what Jesus would have given him a bottle of water too. Yeah. He went and changed it into wine, but still same, same seas, same seas. She even asked at one point, why are you so angry at God?

And I want him to go dead parent. Uh, already told you about that. If you never watched a Christian, I punch the heart out of my dad and I'm a little bit fucked up about. Yeah, some people have a God sized hole in their heart. My dad has a fist sized hole in his heart. And that's as the same reaction ultimately. Yeah, but her response is basically God didn't punch your dad to death Logan. You did. Thanks. You're right. That makes me feel so much better. So at the end of the scene, he agrees to go to Africa with her and be a missionary. Yeah. And he's like, I'm still not sure about that stuff. And she's like, what stuff is like black people? No other

other, the disease. Do they have sit ups in Africa? Cause that appears to be what I do. Yeah. So now we got it, we got to check back in with the magical black man about, about this situation. My favorite. Yeah.

And this is like, they go so much further with the, these two characters are having different conversations in this one. Because the one guy is like, the homeless guy at this point is just talking about gummy they go so much further with the these two characters are having different conversations in this one, because the one guy is like the homeless guy at this point is just talking about gummy bears to this whole conversation, but not like as an analogy for anything. Nope. He's like gummy bears. Yeah. Yeah.

I like the mix gummy bears. I wrote this movie's getting political. I'm not ready for this. Yeah. And also what a cheap bastard. He can't even buy the homeless guy his own bag of miscedulated gummy bears. They have to share one. There's also this great moment where he where he goes, you don't know the pain I've caused. And I want him to go, you don't know the pain. This homeless guy is caused. You think about that, huh?

Maybe you never, you ever hear of the green river killer? It's this guy. And also, I think this is kind of important to reflect on, right? Like according to this movie, he's going to a homeless guy for wisdom about Christianity, right? So going to a homeless guy or going to a professional, you get the same advice. Isn't that kind of an admission of the stupidity of your world view? That's why I have a homeless guy do all my surgery. I am ill. And now it's time to have a being a good person montage, I guess. Right. That's the best. Yeah. They have a black lady with one leg. She gets some groceries And then an old lady who appears to be wrapped

in a kindergarten parachute. Yeah, yeah, they're, they're wheeling her around on a wheelchair, taking her to the doctor. You see more black people in this montage than you do for the rest of the day. It's like, oh, we need to help people. Africa, black people. Let's go help black people. Very few white people need help in this movie. There's also this great little moment at the end of it where they're all sitting around telling Bible stories to kids or she is and he's in the audience. And this one kid like puts his arm around Logan like,

hmm, okay. Oh my God, that's the fucking yeah. And it really had this feeling of the kid looking around going like, okay, I'm in a church, I'm a kid. I know I'm getting fucked, I call this guy. Right, at least I want some wash fucked, I call this guy. Right. At least I want some washboard abs to look up into. Right.

I think they probably get to from behind, so probably can't see that. Well, that's true, but. You can imagine the, you can picture the abs. I did. Fair enough. Ha ha. Yeah, so now he, you know, so they,

they've had this whole Jesus-y day and he's walking out and he realizes that, you know, maybe she's've had this whole Jesusy day and he's walking out and he realizes that you know Maybe she's right about God-mattering, but just then he notices that his Jeep has been Kind of vandalized, but not they weren't really very serious about it They spray painted the word fight onto the side of his car the world And honestly like pretty well like it looks pretty good. Like it's kind of a cooler Jeep. First of all, you can't ruin a Jeep. It's impossible to ruin a Jeep, right? It's a Jeep. It can only be ruined or ruined or. Jeeps are awesome, but yeah, okay, fine. All right,

sales of cars. I'm fine with that. You don't know you have no taste. Anyway, yeah, but and but his reaction to this pictures of your hot jeeps So yeah, my pictures are not gonna be anywhere near as good as yours But his reaction to this when he sees this is to just like stand there jawgap and say it's too far It's too far like dude. This guy's gonna threaten to rape your girlfriend again Right, I feel like I feel like you're not prioritizing correctly here. Right. And his response to this is to bring his girlfriend into the car to the fight. He's like, I'm going to go bump that dude up, get in the car. Yeah. Yeah. Fucking drive her home for like, like, like, or like, you know, get some sleep and see how you feel about it in the morning. Not, let's, let's, you know, let's come on, come on now. And like, for somebody who refuses to fight, boy, does Logan

want to fight all the time. Oh shit. No, well, wait, they're in the car. And she's like, Logan, don't do this. Logan, don't do this. And his response is it's not your car. Two weeks, she replies, you know what? That's a really good point. It's not like, I guess you can't punch a nasty if it's your car. Yeah. And he's like, so he gets and she's telling me, you know, don't fight and he's going,

like, if he wants it, this bad, he's got it. And it's just like, I will, you know, I mean, you can get your car repainted for a lot less than five grand. So this makes perfect sense. But at any rate, he gets to the to the gym. And, you know, of course Hayden has to remind you who the bad guy is. So he's like, I don't care about you, your girlfriend, your dead dead, or your God.

I just want to fight. And Logan's like, no, you drove him, you drove there to tell him that. That drove down to be like, hey man, just so you know, this couldn't wait, I'm not gonna fight you. Despite the spray painting of the Jeep. Yeah.

Hey, hey, hey, hey, I don't know if you were trying to, if you thought I wanted to fight on my car, you thought that was the thing that I wanted. I didn't if you thought I wanted it fight on my car You thought that was a thing that I wanted I didn't want it I wanted it and just like next time next time you're gonna try to make Modifications to my car if you could just run it by me Hey, I want a cutscene where Hayden just sadly puts a stencil in his locker stupid Hey, man, you still want to send him some of those flowers from bloom. That.com using the code bloom.

Black, forward slash atheist. No, you know what I don't, I don't ignore it. So, and also like now the girlfriend is like Emma is so excited. And she's like, oh, you did the right thing. You are a better man. And then he gets a kiss on the cheek over it. That's it. I'd go back and fight Hayden if I was in my pocket. I'll get more from that from Hayden, just like if he tries to choke me, I feel like that's more intimate. Also, I feel like

I should apologize at this point. Devon, when I invited you on the show, I probably shouldn't have spray painted podcasts on your car. So I should get that out there. My apologies. I'm so mad. I'm going to tell you that I wish you had nothing. But now in person, that's the level of angry that I am. I'm going to come to your apartment and be like, Hey, I kind of wish you hadn't done that. But could you take your daughter out of school and make sure she's in the car with you when you do it? I don't go anywhere without without at least one woman dragged me along. And also this is a great amazing moment where they have there, the two of them go out to

have coffee together and they have the like worst thing you've ever done conversation. And I bet he always wins that conversation. Oh, yeah. No, I have punched my dad's heart out. She goes, I drank a lot and party and party and I wrote, he punched his dad to death. And then I highlighted it and wrote in my notes, these are my favorite things I've ever written in order. She drank a lot and partied. He punched his dad to death.

No, she's basically a posh. She's basically confessing that she used to be an interesting person. Yeah. It's a common problem in Christianity, I do believe. And of course, he wants her to ask him to go to church, you know, like nobody ever ever ever has ever wanted. Yeah. So with the church invite in this scene, we know that can only mean sermon in the next

one. And I don't know about you guys, but before we suffer through that, I'm going to need a break. So let me give act three, the hard sell here. Will Logan fight Roman is life for Jesus? Can Hayden rape, threaten Emma into Logan fighting him? Will the within in this title turn out to have nothing to do with anal penetration at all? Find out the answers to these questions and more when we return for the punchy kiki

grabby conclusion of the fight within. Hey Dave, before Mike gets here, I just want to give you a quick heads up. Okay, cool about what? It's his voice. Hey, Bfellas. Hey, Mike. Mike. Hey guys, super happy to start making this movie with you.

Uh-huh. Dude, what are you doing? Uh-huh. What's the problem? Something the matter? Um, Dave here just forgot you don't have your costume on yet. No, it wasn't his costume I was worried about. It's the fact that he's got a great attitude because Mike wants to act.

But in all he does in his free time is practice punching people. Yes, sir, acting in punts and that's all I ever think about. I see. Yeah, no costume. I was worried about the, uh, oh, Dave, you're so Philly, I'll get my costume on right now. Super Philly. Okay, right. Just, uh, yeah, it's just down the hall. Dude, seriously? Listen, there aren't a lot of well-spoken guys who punch people in the face for a living, Dave. Yeah, that's super well-spoken, this one.

Hey, old man, mind if I join you? I can see the chat ain't sneaking in my window, but I stop it with laser microwave technology. I don't know, just... Clearly I've been thinking about God, you know? How can he have a plan for me? They sent messages into my brain with television, but I heard it backwards and they have no sense to us to work and if you eat 10 foil.

Sure, easy for you to say. But how can you believe? I only pretend to take my pills, keep robots out my blood. You're right, I know you're right. I just need to trust him. And I know I can do it. You're a bad listener. Maybe it is old man. Maybe it is. Come in, BAS!

Oh, yeah, sure. And we're back for more of this shit. And we last left our hero. He was getting invited to church. So we're going to rejoin him waking up on Sunday morning to go to church. The church starts too early. Am I right, guys? You are.

Way too fucking early. And when we go to this church, we find out that this is where this movie was keeping all of its ugly people. Because this movie has a lot of problems, but Hayden, Mason, even Logan, all pretty good looking people, but man, did they pull out all the ugly stops for this church scene? Yeah, where were all the normal extras? Like was there something else? Was there anything else really big filming and all the good extras were like, no, no, no,

I'm definitely working on that project. It pays way more. I think they filmed this in Alabama, folks. I think they had normal extras, but there was a meltdown of the plant. There's a horrible fire on the bus that had all the extras on it. And also, by the way, they're, these are terrible extras. They're not just ugly. They're also like all staring at the main characters. Oh, yes, they look like they could be in a movie, huh? It's, including one incredibly bored, miserable looking little boy in the front row, who is staring directly into camera, blinking twice, asking for help. He might have crossed his fingers and shake Hillary Clinton's hand.

Yes. So we get our sermon and I just want to say this preacher has a huge Bible like like he has had complaints. Yeah, that Bible is weird and too thick. Is he preaching out of Stephen King's the stand? It's the director's cut of the Bible. I see it in the book of trash, man. Yeah.

And so we get more talk about who are you really? We get more talk about moral relativism. And this sentence actually appears in his sermon. I had to write this down. This is amazing. It was for freedom that Jesus came to set us free. Oh, that was nice. For came to set us free. Oh, that was for the freedom of being free.

When he said, who are you? I wanted him to unzip his face and be the homeless guy. Ha! Gotcha. I killed him. I wear other people's faces. Ha!

Another great line from his sermon is psychology tells us we are the sum of our decisions. What a load of fucking crack that is, huh? Yeah. Psychology tells us that, huh? Yeah. Well, and two, like these extras were all clearly told to look interested, you know, it looked like you're really enjoying the sermon.

It looked like you're interested, but they all have this, what is on his lip look on their face, like that kind of interested, like morbid curiosity and they don't know the difference. And then it gets too boring. So we drop into a musical montage of this sermon. Yeah, yeah, montage is, I know your thing. Montage usually reserves for like fun action sequences, like tubing or trading to fight.

Not just moving. We also have just people talking to a montage of people just having conversation talking about God. Yeah. Yeah. The montage includes several like Logan leaning, leaning forward, like he's interested or he's sitting backwards on a rocking chair kind of a thing. Like that's the montage going from that from him looking interested from her looking happy

that he's interested to the preacher talking with music going on. Yeah. The movie version of yada yada yada. And you know blah blah blah. Jesus Jesus Jesus. All right. Let's get to the end here. And it jumps right back into the sermon.

And what's amazing is the music from the montage is still going on, but the preacher very obviously has a guy behind him just like backing him up on guitar. Yeah. Yeah. It was a real. It's very shit. We watch him do the alter call. And I love to that like when we cut back into the sermon like the sentence we cut back into is basically like

So considering all of those things I just said you'd have to be an idiot not to believe in Jesus. I sure did prove my point I sure did nail it. Yeah, and then it's time for the big altar call and Basically, they've made two terrible choices of this altar call the first is they take their super attractive actor and they have him do his alter car next to a giant super duper crazy fat guy. Yes. But then his alter call like he says something and then him and the preacher just hug for a really long time. Really long time. A really long time. The preacher is like, Oh, you don't know about my horrible sexual past. Like everybody else here does.

I'm so happy you're here. Well, it was like, it was so long that you're like, are we watching the hug in slow motion? Or are they just really like, I feel like the preacher at this point is going like, okay, man, like we're not gonna. You feel like it seems like you're trying to throw me to the ground here.

I don't think you get how this. He doesn't know how to hug. He just keeps trying to hip throw him. Stop, stop, Logan. Go tap out, tap out. I killed my dad. Yes. So now he's all Christianized and he wants to go

Jesus all over the place. So he's asking Emma, like, wow, you know, I'm so serious about this. And she's like, oh, that's great. You're gonna be super fucking annoying forever now. He's like, yeah, I am. How do we go annoy people with this? So she gives him a Bible that looks like it came straight from Saramon's porn stash. It's huge. Again, also it's a family heirloom. She's like, this was my father's Bible and it's passed to him by his father. I'm like, hey, don't maybe don't give out family heirlooms. He's returned. Here's my father's heart. I ripped it.

Logan's a bit of a topper. Yeah. So now, and then we, and then we just kind of like randomly cut to them, leaving a movie where he bitches about how fake the love scenes are. I'm like, subtle movie, subtle. Just like all the movies fuck up love scenes, right? When they kiss and it looks like they don't know how to do it. It's like that in all movies.

Yeah, love scenes in movies are so fake. It would be way better if they clumsily began all of their conversations with what? It's just ballsy to make fun of movies in your shitty movie. Yeah, it's like, and you're moving in on our turf assholes. Yeah, exactly. For this, there's professionals.

So it was amazing to us. There's a moment here where he's talking about how silly it is that in these movies, they all fall in love and immediately all the problems are so. And then so she jumps into what is supposed to be her character doing like a bad acting version of having fallen in love with him, but she's not a good enough actress that like when she does bad acting, there's a difference between that and when she just does acting. So you can't tell except by his response. Yeah, it's very strange. Yeah, I had no idea that she was pretending to be a bad actor until like 45 seconds after the scene. Yeah, I was like, oh, you know, what?

When my brain could finally process all that information, like reading the different moves in a chess match, you're like, I see what was going on there. Eventually. So I'm the like, oh, I see what was going on there. Eventually. So on the way home, she wants him to explain why he fights because, you know, you got to fill this script with something. And they remember she has a membership at the gym. So like, she doesn't get fighting, but she trains at the gym.

She does, or maybe she just talks to me. She's there for the posters. Yeah, I wanted him so badly for when she was like, why does someone get an occasion fight? I wanted him so badly to be like, oh, because high school is hard and medications expensive. Ha, ha, ha, ha. And she goes, uh, why did you, why did you stop?

And he goes, oh, and he doesn't say, cause I killed my dad, he goes, oh, you know, my dad pushed me and then the one time I pushed back, he has a heart attack and died. No, no, no, no, no. You punched him in the chest. After he had a heart attack. That he was, yeah, exactly. Yeah, right. And you knew, and you knew he just had a pacemaker and so.

I'm just saying Logan very much soft balls this story like, oh, you know, we were shouting in the head heart. No, no, no, no, you struck your father's heart and it stopped. So they get to, you know, he gets to like her place to drop her off and he's like, you know, you want to, but they don't have sex. Yeah. 100 bucks. They don't have sex. Well done. Exactly. He's like, I'm too Christian for that now. Huh?

I'm not getting my dick wet for a long time. She's like, no, do you want me to walk you into your house, which we can see from here? He's like, no, we're not fucking. He's like, okay, fine. I thought I could. Fine. Okay. Ask.

Well, you're going to get a rape threat. So you're going to feel pretty silly that I'm not there to do the Kiki punch grabby stuff Yeah, I love to keep punch grabby so She goes in through earth's squeaky as door and One of the Hayden's goons you know how people have goons in real life Now is this one of Hayden's I thought this was Hay Well, the cops later say that he's got an alibi. So either it's not Hayden or like all the people at the gym are willing to lie for him about the rape threat. I mean, these cops didn't seem

like they really invested. Yeah, that's true. No, not at all. We will get to it. Yeah, right, right. Okay. So let's just say it was Hayden. And he's like, you know, I'm going to rape the fuck out of you boyfriend doesn't fight meden and he's like, you know, I'm gonna rape the fuck out of you. Boyfriend doesn't fight me and she's like, this is weird. I mean, I'm worried and concerned, but this is just a weird way to go about going to him. Yeah. Step one, step one was be mean to him at the gym. Step two was spray paint fight on his car.

Step three was break into girlfriend's house and threaten to murder rape her. And that's just there's a big job. He's skipped like five steps. Again, if only he was here. So yeah, and also I'm curious how long he just had to sit at that house. I've been in this Jesus room for an hour and a half plan, candy crush. I think it turns out that Hayden is Emma's roommate. Ha ha ha ha. Oh, Hayden, I'm so glad you're back.

You'll never guess what happened. Yeah, man, and a mask. Where can I put my ski mask? Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Weird unrelated question. So and I gotta give the movie credit because in a Christian movie, you just can't tell all that stuff like this. She does call the cops, but the cops have a bit of a lack of daisicle attitude.

And honestly, you know, your attacker was white. So even if he raped you behind a dumpster, really, there's nothing we're not going to do. Yeah, it's not really. And he's an athlete. He's a promising up and coming in. We wouldn't possibly do anything about it. to really there's nothing we're not going to do. Yeah, it's not really. And he's an athlete. He's a promising up and coming in. We couldn't possibly do anything about it. Exactly.

Those are the go through all that so that you can get 60 days in jail. Come on. Take one for the team Emma. Yeah. So and of course, this is where we learned that Hayden had an alibi, which means either the casting is weird or they all live. One way or the other, it's pretty stupid. But now he's going to fight him once and for all Logan's going to fight Hayden, but Hayden

will only do it in the ring, which I mean, makes sense. I guess that was always the plan. I don't know why, because otherwise it's assault. Yeah, otherwise it's just violence. He's like, no, no, no, in the ring. And he was like, oh, you wanted to fight me in the ring? I thought you wanted to fist it, Cops. He's like, no, no, I would, I would like $5,000 and then another $5,000 to win. Yeah. Oh, you're doing this. Find the thing is a sport. I understood.

This I get it makes so much more sense now. Yeah. And of course, this is also where we have to learn that Mason was wrong to trust an evil person whose name rhymes with Satan because now that Hayden's got the fight that he wanted, he's going to leave the gym and leave Mason high and dry without his best fighter. Also, right, makes complete logical sense. You can't have two fighters training to fight each other in the same gym with the same trainer. Yeah, that seems odd Yeah, you'd have to get him And don't get him the anchies don't hang out at at the red socks pitching Well, we'll go next guys don't worry about

He's got a weak left and he doesn't know that you know that fuck Yeah, yeah, also yeah, they set up they set up the whole like he doesn't know that you know that fuck. Yeah. Yeah. Also, yeah, they set up, they set up the whole, like he doesn't know how to block. He doesn't know how to keep his left hand up, what he punches, which basically means he doesn't know how to punch. Right. He doesn't know, he doesn't know boxing. Well, and we didn't, the left side of his body. That's the key of his fighting is that he doesn't know how to fight.

Well, we didn't mention it at the time either, but like when we had the flashback because at the very beginning of the movie, and this starts off when them as a little kid, like nine years old, this dad is saying, keep your right hand up, keep your right hand up. And then it cuts to him at like 23 and his dad's going, keep your right hand up, like you had a lot of time

to work on this, you fucking idiot. Yeah. Now, one of your dad is pushing you, is you need it, you couldn't fucking get anything right. I don't know, man. It's been 18 years. I feel like you should be better at this by now. And also, I have to mention this.

This was so amazing. This was one of Mason's best moments of how do they describe his acting emotionally charged. Yeah. No, he, yeah, that's how he describes it. Exactly. Exactly. So as, as Hayden is walking out, he goes, but I am the one who made you a fighter.

I'm like, man, somebody needs to say, Ro, Ro, Ro, Ro, you're bow with that motherfucker. This is not worth it. Yes, they do. So then that night Logan makes a smoothie. Why are we watching this? He makes a smoothie and reads the Bible. I did really just want this scene to just him being like Oh fuck I need some water. That's gonna be all watery. I got it. I got to get a Vitamix

I got to just go and get Making the smoothie reading the Bible then he drops the Bible into the blender Drinks it and becomes filled with hell. That's his superhero origin. That's his ex. The blends of Bible. Let me do you one better. He's making it smoothly and Hayden comes up behind him and he's like, hey, you better still

fight me this week. I'm gonna hate it. God get out of here. Oh, yeah. I agree. I signed contracts and stuff. I know how it works. Also, so he's going through the Bible looking for wrestling advice, apparently.

And I don't know if you've read the Bible, but there's some wrestling advice in there. My notes from this point on are all about the possibility that this movie could literally end with Emma touching a baby's foreskin to his dick during the fight and giving him the power of God. I would love this movie forever. It doesn't happen. But yeah, crazy billionaire money people, you can make it happen. Patreon.com forward slash God.

All of these actors are available. And one of them is apparently in atheists who we want to win in the good grace of. Yeah, we failed. We've made fun of them for like an hour and a half now. Well, I met Muslim, Gimli in a good way though, like because Muslims are so studious and Gimli was pretty badass, right? Lists are a sign of virility. So yeah, so he comes to Mason to talk about training them for the upcoming fight or whatever.

And he's like, you know, do you think I stand a chance? And he's like, no, no, why not? You beat him once already. I'm putting my money on the guy who the last time they fought one. Just all of the things being equal. but no, apparently Hayden is the fightiest fighter at all of fighting and he just won't stand a chance unless there's some kind of miracle. Oh, I get it. He also goes, oh, no, man, I'll help you. I want you to kill him.

And Logan goes, no, I won't kill him. And I'm like, good. This is that would be, then you would be tied for the amount of people you have fought slash almost. So you're going to show more restraint than you showed with Mason earlier in the movie. Good to know tonight. Yeah. Yeah.

No, there's a lot of like that. You know, he's like, I've got to end it once and for all kind of talk. Like they definitely are talking about murdering this character. It would so. Well, Hayden does seem like the guy that if you beat him in a fair fight, much like this character has already beaten him in a fair fight, he'll sort of let everything go and be cool with you.

Yeah, oh, yes, no, clearly. You're all right, Liam. All the problems are gonna stop. Hayden's gonna really grow up and be like, you know what? Tell me more about Jesus. You're all right, Lino. All the problems are gonna stop. Hayden's gonna really grow up and be like, you know what? Tell me more about Jesus. Do you want to learn to do your banks like this?

And now it's time for an exercise montage. In case Ela was all lubed up or anything. And this montage is a combination of things that were arousing and things that I was like, is that real? Because it's like, okay, floor hugging, dragging some shit, sit-ups. But then it's also like Mason poking him with sticks. Now, I don't know, again, I don't train to fight people, but is stick poking a better fighter? It's big. Stick poking is big. As is pulling Mason and a little red wagon,

that is also a common training regimen. Yeah, sometimes you hit your dog to the wagon and then your dog pulls you through town and you go to ice cream crumbs, it's great. Yeah. Yeah, now, and during this entire training, my, I'm just thinking myself, this is a movie for gay Christian men

who haven't admitted it to themselves enough to just watch gay porn. I don't know what other function this or, oh, and he could pull me in a little wagon. That would be so nice. Then we'd wrestle each other to the floor. But at the end of this, they've got to have a, hey, man, I think this is the perfect time for this a week before I do the big fight. Did I kill our dad? Yeah. Yeah. That's a good, that's good condo.

Yeah. Well, we got to clear that up. Yeah. And, David, I love what you have here. Yeah, it's, yeah, it's, hey, brother, did I kill dad? No, you didn't kill dad because that's not how hearts work. Is this? Like, if you punch somebody and their heart explodes, that's just a coincidence.

I mean, you punched him in the heart and then it attacked him to death, but that's really, that's just poor timing. That's your part. Unrelated. Yeah. And then he's jogging. He's jogging. And again, I wanted Hayden to pop out and be like, we're still on for part unrelated. Yeah. And then he's jogging. He's jogging. And again, I want to hate him to pop out and be like, we're still on for the fight. And he's like, hate it

honestly. Like I have a timer. I have a reminder on my phone and everything. I need you to let this go. Okay. Just checking. All right. And of course, while he's out jogging, he runs into the magical black guy again. He's got's got, he wants, he needs his own movie. The sequel is just all about that guy. He goes, how you doing, old man? And he's like, blessed. How about you? And at first of all, I wrote, aren't you homeless?

Like, isn't that what the movie? He's not, he's not. He just sold his company to Microsoft. He made, he's, he's worth hundreds of thousands, hundreds of millions of dollars. Well, and there's a really good sold his company to Microsoft. He made he's he's worth hundreds of thousands of hundreds of millions of dollars. Well, and there's a really good indication of it too here. Now, this is how stupidly written this movie is, right? Because he says like, huh, we're in the park. This is a long way from the gas station. How would you get here homeless guy? And what the movie wants you

to think is, oh, maybe he's actually an angel, a messenger of the Lord. That's what they're going for. But the other explanation is maybe he's not homeless. And he just happened to be at the gas station twice, kind of hanging out on a sunny day now that he's retired. And now he's at the park. He could have just drove to the park. Point to his super sweet Jeep in the parking lot. Yeah, I bought that for myself. Yeah, like he, he just walked because like he doesn't have anything else to do. He's a homeless guy. Oh, so that man that you would have to walk for hours and hours. Yep. That's pretty much. I don't have a job or a family. Yeah, this is due. Well, I actually hear it drown myself and now you're in a rough thing. And I love to

the insensitivity of this fucking movie, right? Because he's like, you know, the black guy's like, how you doing? Pete's a friend and he's like, well, I'm dating a beautiful girl. I've got a great relationship with my brother. I'm about to make a lot of money. And I'm just like, you're talking to a homeless guy quit bragging you asshole. It's so wonderful. Just like, yeah, that sounds nice.

The part where you can afford shoes. He's good. Also, he rhymes in this scene because he's trying to talk about, you know, oh, God's always had fighters blah, blah, blah, blah. And he says, quote, God, don't care if you fight if you're black at white. And I wanted him to keep going. If you sleep at night, please get me some help. Yeah, he was going to do a little doctor's shoes here, but yeah, that's the gist of this conversation, right?

Is he has to ask Magical Black man, does God mind if I kick people's asses for money? And he's like, no, you get for money. Shit, you're allowed to like rape their kids and shit in the Bible. Haven't you read that? I got this. This touches on what is, yeah, I'm a big MMA fan. This touches on one of my biggest pet peeves in MMA, where a guy has just beaten this shit out of another man for money.

And then they do the interview in the octagon, right? Blood's still running down his face. And he goes, I want to thank Jesus without whom this wouldn't be possible. It's like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. If Jesus is real, he doesn't be possible. It's like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, also God and God is all about some wrestling. He does, he wrestles with Israel and that's why he's called Israel. And then, and then he wrestles with, who else he wrestles with Moses and he gets beaten by the baby dick? Daniel. Is he a, a wrestle Daniel? I think he fucks Daniel.

Who's the one who wrestles his brother, the angel? Yeah, I don't, yeah. The rest is an angel. Yeah. So there's a lot of wrestling. Yeah. God can get in a fighting mood, I think. But, but you're right in that mainstream like white guy Jesus who goes around like healing the sick, which is the Jesus that they're talking about. That guy definitely didn't want you to choke another man to sleep tonight. Yeah. No.

He didn't like it. So what I'm saying is that they should end with the, when they, when they, when they went to fight and they do the interview They should say I would like to thank you God Because you God would be into that kind of shit. I Think you got all the time. Oh, there you go. Well, that old that old testament that old testament stuff Yeah, that's all fire and brimstone Oh, no Brooks

So now it's time for the fight. Yes. Fucking finally, Jesus, this movie took forever to get to the fight, considering it's a movie about fighting. Well, yeah, but we're not quite to the fight. Now, like the fight is beginning for the audience, the fictional audience within the movie, but we have to like, you know, just see a couple of little snippets of that and then go back to the locker room where Logan's in the back prepping for the main event. That's right. And his brother gives him a little hand massage.

Yeah. And then his brother tapes his hands, which is a leave a member of the athletic commission has to tape your hands. Otherwise, you can put like weights and like fucking pepper and shit in there and fuck the other way. So they cheated. It's over. So here was the crazy thing that happened to me.

So I'm watching this movie with my wife, Anna, and my wife has never shown any indication that she cares for MMA or boxing or anything like this. And as he's saving his hands, Anna looks up from her video game and goes, you're not allowed to have someone from your side tape your hands and then looks back at her video games. And I have no idea how my wife knows that. Yeah. I also don't I also don't know how your wife. I don't know.

I don't know what underground boxing ring my wife is a part of. But yeah, I've never heard of any of them. I don't I've certainly never seen her at one. Yeah. Damn it. I don't I've certainly never seen her at one. Yeah, damn it, Devon. So and this is also they have the most stupid and unrelated conversation you can imagine while this is going on. It's basically like he's like, so hey brother, do you think moral relativism is okay? And the brother's like, what the fuck are you talking about man?

Where were you just? And then he's like, man, I want to just tell you Logan, I'm really proud that you decided to do this fight instead of getting your girlfriend raped. I'm very proud that you've made that decision. To which Logan replies, everything we could have done. Why do you think we became fighters? And I would love to hear what Logan thinks he and his brother could have done besides punchy punks.

Make Mason would have made a great tax attorney. I was almost a CPA. Thank you. Pinnick and then the yeah, so and also like we learn that there's even more on the line. Mason will go to church with them if he doesn't die in the ring. So you know, he's kind of rooting for death. Um, Yeah, I mean, Mason's like, Jesus, how do you the fuck out of that? It's gonna be terrible.

I watched that part of the movie. It was awful. They don't let you kill people in the ring, right? I mean, who knows with this fucking movie? Maybe just everyone would stand. It's Hayden, guys. It's okay. Let him kill him.

Yeah, hidden brought a gun. Well, what are you gonna do? So now it's time for the main event. A guy who's never fought professionally before and hasn't fought since he killed his dad and their thing for five years. And everybody's really excited about that. Woohoo. And I just I love this.

There was this little moment where they like pan to Emma and the crowd. And you could just tell that the actress herself was getting grubbed by that crowd. She looks. She's looks so incredibly uncomfortable. Why is everyone here drinking a monster energy drink? They don't even sell them here. Everybody brought their own six pack of monster energy to this event. Is that a thing? And of course, no one's going to share with me. And of course, no one's going to share with me. And of course, Hayden won't touch gloves because he's an asshole. And then the fight begins.

And my notes, by the way, at this point are just Batman chirons with, I don't want to pee on them. Yep. Mine too. So Devon, do you want to walk us through what happens in this fight? Because what it appears happens is he knocks him down like one of those bobbit clowns and then at the end Logan wins. So yes, so here's the happen so so the think it ends in the third round.

Yeah. In the first round, Hayden basically murders Logan. Oh, yeah. But like, but like does it. He's like, he's like a cat playing with a mouse. He doesn't want to kill him. So he's like, he knocks him down and then sort of like rubs his body on top of him for a little bit.

And then like, and then like, and then let's him get up. He repeatedly lets him up, yeah. Just kind of Logan can't establish his jab. He, as we know from before, he also, if he throws a punch, he, his other hand just falls off of the face. And the entire left side of his body goes numb. The second round, it's Hayden continuing to murder him. And just, but this time up against the fence.

A lot of up against the fence murder. Yeah. And Logan is only standing because he's just fallen unconscious into the back of the photos. The ref is clearly on taking a break for these two rounds and not paying attention because clearly this needed to be so horrible. Yeah, because I've watched some you have seen. Like a guy gets punched and falls down and they're like, okay, it's over, it's over,

but Logan like spits along and the refs like, you're good, right? You're going to stand up eventually and he's I mean someday the doctor said I'll walk again. And then in between the second and third round I guess God showed us. God started caring about about Logan all of a sudden. Somebody better give you the power. I'll give you the God power to murder this other human being. And then Logan, Logan wins. And everyone goes, wow, they have to fight again because it's clear that Hayden's Hayden's

clearly the better. Logan just got fucking lucky. That's what happened. Well, and then we can all agree that and also like it with a sport like MMA, you have so many ways to do that, right? You have so many different ways to reverse a fight where like the one guy is clearly getting his ass kicked and is clearly going to lose on the card. You can do, you know, like these guys are probably too like to knock each other out or whatever, but you can, there are a million ways you can like reverse the fight and all of a sudden he outsmarts his opponent. They don't really do any of that. You know, it's just like, oh, wow, did he catch a lucky punch there? Yeah, yeah, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like a, it's like a mugging. The first two rounds are just one guy mugging the other guy.

Yeah. And then the last round is the guy who just got mugged for 10 minutes. It basically like falls into a punch and knocks the other day out. Yeah, he punches to eight and twice, which point Hayden explodes into a shower of coins. I mean, right. Exactly. which point Hayden explodes into a shower of coin. And for the last 10 minutes, it's just been, it's just been Logan lying on the ground, getting punched in the face. And the refs like, the refs like, now he can take more. He can take more. Yeah. And of course, this whole thing sets up this gorgeous line, right? This is the whole movie is built around this line where Hayden looks

at him and he goes, daddy's not in your corner anymore. And he goes, my dad may not be in my corner, but my God is. Oh boy, that's that hurt. How many takes do you think there were where he was like bitch? No, I guess just my goddess, my goddess. But also how could they not, like, how could they not like have him say, but my heavenly father is or, you know, but I still have a father in my corner, something like that. You know, point out that like dad and God and there's kind of a relationship, but they couldn't even manage that. Yeah. But he's the winner of the punching and the end.

I think he's the best puncher. All right. I guess. All right. So this movie struck me on in the sense that it was definitely moralizing, but I have no idea what the moral was. So anyway, if you can punch better than somebody else, you can do whatever you want. God says.

It was a Muslim movie. Okay. Our thing we banned them, you know, they're violent. Exactly. And we learned from the MMA. And we learned our lesson early on asking Eli to use thumbs to rate stuff. So rather than rate this on a traditional scale, I'm going to sum up by asking you this, imagine you're in an MMA fight and your opponent has just locked you into a hole that is even less pleasant to be in than this movie was to watch. What is the name of that hold?

Well, I'm going to go with the dick bar. It's like an arm bar, but with my dick. Like I eat still an arm, like I'm still hurting your arm, but my dick is. Oh, I got you. Yeah, it's unpleasant. I've been told. Yeah, I'm going to go, I think it has to be the, the, the, the heart vice. It feels like it just feels like somebody's squeezing and punching the shit out of your heart until you die. We've seen that. Logan specialty. Yeah, the Logan, the, the special finishing. Yeah,

exactly where he rips out your spine and everything. All right, well, Devon, I can't thank you enough for suffering alongside us. We would love to have you back again sometime if you remember us after you're gone. I know, thanks. I'm good. And if our audience would like to hear more from you, where can they find you? Yeah, I have a show every Saturday night at the People's Improv Theater in New York City. It shows called Gypsy Danger. It's at eight o'clock Saturday night at the people's improv theater in New York City. It shows called Gypsy Danger. It's at eight o'clock Saturday night.

Awesome. Awesome. And of course, if you want to take it, you'll find a link on the show notes for this episode. Thanks again, Devon. And while that does it for our review of the fight within, that's not going to do it for the episode just yet because we still need to bubbly up for next week. So Eli, tell us what's on deck. Me again. And it is him again, deck. Me again.

And it is him again too. It is. It's David R. White again. From the trailer, this appears to be a body switching comedy where David R. White is a down on his luck pastor who God bounces into various bodies of people around the community to make him appreciate his own life. Uh-huh.

Yeah. So people pretending to be David A.R. White quantum bleep style, we really don't know exactly what we're getting into. But God damn it, there's another movie on his filmography that we need to check off. I guess we need to check it off. So we're starting to review him faster than he can make them. Yeah, exactly. So with that to look forward to, we'll bring up a episode 78 to a merciful close. Once again, a huge thanks to Devon Heter for hanging out with us

and a possible even a huge your thanks to all the Patreon donors that help make the show go. If you'd like to count yourself among the ranks, you can make a per episode donation at patreon.com. slash God awful. And thereby earn early access to every episode. You can also help us out of ton by leaving a five star review on iTunes and by sharing the show and all your various social media platforms. And if you enjoyed the show, be sure to questions, comments or cinematic suggestions, you can email GodoffalmoviesaGmail.com. All the music used in this episode was written in performed by Ryan Slott, Nick of Evil Traffs on Mars and was used with permission. If you like what you hear here more by following the link on the show notes for this episode, thanks again for giving us a chunk of your life this week for Heath

N.E.L.I. Bosnick. I'm Noah Luzon's Promise and Work Hard to earn another truck next week until then we'll leave you with a breakfast club close. The guy who played Mason was eventually allowed by the ninth circuit appeals court to come back into the country. The homeless guy and froze to death while Logan was fighting hate. I Don't know just lately I can't do that. Okay, oh That took me a back as I get happy I sort of glanced at it and then I was like oh yeah, all right You guys gonna say these words to me. All right, let me try let's let's take that one from the top shall we He's the most fun in the world to not be able to hear you, dude. All right, you got me back. Do we have Devon back? I got you, but Devon was unable to join the call.

I'm going to try and add him again. Unable to call. Hello. All right. He is online, but he's unable to try the call. I'm not sure what's going on right now. That was just chuckling. Oh, okay. It's all I was doing because because of the funny thing that he likes. I see. I said, I said, sometimes he likes funny and I lie for him.

I know I understand. I understand. I've been the preceding podcast was a production of Puzzle on a thunderstorm LLC. Happy rate 2017. All rights reserved. Copyright 2017, all rights reserved.