God Awful Movies - 93: GAM093 The Prophecy II

Episode Date: May 30, 2017

This week, we combine direct to video with roman numerals in the title, and get exactly the kind of high quality film one expects in those circumstances. --- If you’d like so see us live, check out our latest tour dates here: https://scathingatheist.com/2017/05/01/god-awful-movies-world-tour/ --- If you’d like to pick up a copy of our new ebook; Diatribes Volume 2: 50 More Essays from a Scathing Atheist, you can find it here: https://www.amazon.com/Diatribes-Essays-Scathing-Atheist-Presents-ebook/dp/B06XQTJT4R --- If you’d like to make a per episode donation, please check us out on Patreon: http://patreon.com/godawful Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars. If you’d like to hear more, check out their Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts All our other music was written and performed by Morgan Clarke. To hear more from him, check him out here: https://soundcloud.com/morgandclarke

Again, Angel spent a lot of time leaping through windows and another fun way to fuck with angels put clear colored bars on your windows. They just, ah, shit! Man! Alright, you go, I'm gonna go around the front, you go, we're gonna meet and we'll fight there. Fuck! We both hit that hard! Just get some safety glass, one of those sliding doors. Angels keep running up against it. Oh, I'm Jesus! Alright, we gotta get some stickers of angels to burn.

Fuck it gross or cat. I don't know. God awful. Movie. Who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be snow illusions and sitting in my immediate left is my good friend Heath. Then right he through welcome back. Thanks Noah. You know what's a great movie? What's that triple X3 returners and a cake. Just watch it again because I own it. It's the best. And Patreons, of course, can hear us break that one down shortly after or before this episode goes live. Sleeping on their Casper mattress. It's very comfortable. And so big 81 miles to my right, of course, is my bad friend Eli Bosnig Eli. How are you this fine afternoon, sir? Oh, I'm so good.

This movie, this movie is like the first movie got my notes. That's like, hey, you know what? Enough with the angels. Let's just really get into walkins, minutiae with his crappy sidekick. And what a sidekick it is. So tell us, Heath, what will we be breaking down today? We watched the Prophecy too, also known as walkin' talk,

the movie. It's the story of a writer who bets someone that he can make a Christopher walk in filibuster get produced and he won that. It's amazing. And Eli, how bad was this movie? Well, if you love the prophecy, but you hated all the plot that got in the way of a Christopher walk in goodness, you will love this movie.

And I do. I just love this movie. I have been promised that the next one, even more Christopher walkin' even less. Well, I'll tell you what, you look at the cast like, because this, this movie, at least there are names you recognize in the cast. And I, you don't recognize them from the last movie or anything, but you recognize some of the names. But it's just going to be us next time. Nevertheless, he persisted.

But it's going to be great. All right. So somewhere out there, this, some writer was handed this sequel. First movie was about an impending angel war. They sat down and said, what should we make the second movie about and did not land on angel war, but instead they landed on. Chirubic Terminator, right?

I mean, that's a, that's an adorable image. I wish just like, give me a diaper. All right. So I feel like walk in performances are best measured in pauses. So how would you guys say you did? Keeping in mind that the longer the pause between the words you say, the battery did. For example, I might say as performance if I didn't like it was unpleasant. And I'm going to say miles. Wait for it. At the end of the episode, I'm going to say Davis. Miles Davis is the Christopher

walk-in of trumpet players. Well, I thought he was really moving on. All right. Does there anything you guys want to nominate this one for being the best of being the worst at? I'm going to say best worst, acknowledgement of what prophecy means. I mean, they do acknowledge it, but the problem is if a movie is about a prophecy, then most of the characters can't really give a fuck about trying at the end. So the climax is just like, yeah, man, whatever, it's like your thing. No, it's been prophecy. And that really kind of is how it ends in a lot of ways, but

not enough to make the name make sense. Eli, you got any best words for us? Can I go with best worth surprise actor? We will have a revelation as to who plays Michael in this movie. And the only way it could be more disappointing is if the Barney that dressed up for your fifth birthday turned out to be your dad's gay love. And the only way it could be more disappointing is if the Barney that dressed up for your fifth birthday Turned out to be your dad's gay love I don't see why that's bad necessarily. Yeah, I agree with Noah

All right moving right along that What's wrong with home and sector nothing? I love gay people will want it You taught why would you make that joke that I don't know the idea of like, oh, no, dad's leaving. Well, maybe dad was unhappy. Wow, we're really digging in. I'm so sorry. I like to think of our show as sort of a roast where nothing's up with you as a homophobe. I was going to go with a best worst playing teen suicides for laughs.

Challenge accepted, but sure, you're the best best at this. But yeah, now look, I am a firm believer that teen suicide is fucking hilarious. But I know that there's a time and a place for making jokes. It's useful as well. If you can't handle the petty teenage bullshit, your adulthood has no room for you. But there's also, but there's a, there's a time and a place for that. And the time is not when other people can hear you like now. So I'll move on.

Yeah, the problem was timing. This is teen suicide joke that we're going to get that. But it was the way they committed suicide. Yeah. that we're going to get that. But that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that

that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that

that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that to the cutting edge computer tech of the year after I got married. So we're going to keep the break brief. And when we come back, we'll break down all the belligerently edited leftovers that are the prophecy to. So he has that assignment coming along. It'signment. Yeah, the travel stuff that I asked you about last week last week. Yes, me about. Look, now we've got live shows coming up in New York City, Seattle,

Salt Lake City. And we just added a show in Austin, Texas on September 22nd. Plus, we're going to be appearing at Skepticon and Sydney, Australia November 17th and the 19th. People are flocking to scathing a theus.com for tour dates and links to buy tickets. And I'm putting links in the show notes and everything with this point. And after what happened with reason, I just don't want to wind up counting on Eli to arrange travel again. Oh, yeah. So yeah, no, I took care of that a couple of days ago. Awesome. Awesome. So what did you do? As the I do it. I got it all worked out. Guys, check out the map. That's a treasure hunt place map from Long John Silver'svers and you already did the maze.

First of all, how many better ways could there be to get to Austin then on a cattle drive, right? At least, at least, I imagine a lot. Okay. Okay. How about this? For Seattle, I've bought three hoverboards. Okay, but what about Morgan?

I figured I'd piggyback on yours and then why can't we just fly in airplanes like normal people? Uh, okay, airplane request got it because part of the trip to Australia involves flying on an airplane on you said on weird like wing walking. So that's what it's called. Yes. Excellent. I was. No, I wouldn't have heard. No. All right. So I mean, I like that. But what about Salt Lake City? Two words, four syllables, llama, try in. I'll take care of travel, guys. Wait. Hold on. Like, like a llama for the conductor because that sounds adorable.

Honestly. Right. No, no, no, no, I'm going to take care of it. And I'll make sure we have links to buy tickets for all five shows on the show notes and on the website after the after we post this episode. Okay. I mean, do you want to use my map? No, I do not. Well, can I do the connect the dots? Sure. but hey, we're to warning, comic, real depressing. It's a, yeah, that's a spot that differences. You know what? Oh, I thought it was like, meaninglessness of Garfield's existence. You okay? My wife is gone. It's serial poison.

It's serial poison. We'll bet. And we're back for the breakdown and we're going to start this one off with the monastic version of the Kevin Spacey notebook opening from seven. Yes. Yeah. It's a weird, weird start. It's just, it looks like some guy got like handed the book of Revelation to edit the day before the Bible was due. It's like Steve, can you like fix book of revelation to edit the day before the

Bible was due. It's like, Steve, you like fix this. It's tomorrow. You need it. We need it tomorrow. Like a fucking sense. He's just like skimming through nonsense crossing. Should I does that say mouth sword?

I don't. God damn it. I'm going to be here all night. All right. Big angel fight. Angels are like, yeah, yeah, yeah, Karate. I also like this movie starts with my gam viewing prayer. I always open up with these words. I say, dear God, blind my eyes to these

visions and deafened my ears. First lines of this movie. They warn you. No. Now this is, this is Thomas from the last movie, the hero. It's not that actor. All they know show you the hands. it's not that actor, though, they know show you the hands. Apparently couldn't get Elias could whatever the fuck his name was. Mm-hmm. Busy. It's amazing the extent of B level actors they couldn't get for this movie blew their budget on walk and clearly. Mr. T, pity's the fool that will be in this film. It's a good project. It's just not for me.

So and what we're learning here is that Thomas from the last movie became a monk and now sees visions of the end of the kingdom of heaven. And I just wrote Roman numerals behind the title, the sign of a quality directive video film right there. Exactly. And now we get a quick angel I view of a city as an establishing shot and we meet what's your name from the 80s. Oh, and look, let's give credit where credit is due. This movie establishes shit and hurry. It literally is a shot of her, a shot of her like nurses,

badge, a shot of the time. And then it might as well cut to the editing room where some guy in headphones like mine is just like, you get it. You got it? You got it. You got it. Movie. Exposition cam.

We get the pans to everything. All this information. They're also listening to like W EXPO, the Exposition radio station. We are in San Fernando, California, where a main character is listening to me in her car. Hey, Valerie, my name's Valerie, but we'll scan down her resume, just like special skills, foil Satan in under 90 minutes. And then she hits a Chinese guy with her car, or Mark Wahlberg throws a Chinese guy at the car. It's not clear what happens. Number one, that's number one.

Well, yeah, no, so she's driving along, heading to work, checking her page or what all of a sudden an agent dude falls onto her car from nowhere. And she is completely non-plus by this. And not completely. She's in convenience, no doubt. I guess she's probably thinking, yeah, it was probably a karate fight of a semi next to me. And this is how they go. Oh, and you just never see this end of the movie. Yeah, I mean look

I get it. I'm a New Yorker. I've I've run over a guy. I mean, it's an irritation. It's not world ending. Yeah, right. So she takes him to the ER, which was where she was going. So you wonder if she just left him on the hood and just say, well fucking if he makes it, I mean, hold on. I'm taking you to the right place. You lucked out. So now we cut back to that monastery where Thomas is freaking out and is yelling Gabriel's coming. And of course, they're trying to work around the fact that they don't have that actor. So we're just like people are talking to him through the door and shit.

Oh, it is so good. Also, little side note here, I forgot the word monastery while this scene was going on and it was boring. So my notes are as follows, people are going crazy at the Monkery. Monk House, Monk Place, monastery got it. Monk, Monk, Monkery is actually a word. Oh, well, there you go. What's that? Something a Scrabble player would be. Yeah. So, yeah. So Thomas has made himself a a good crazy room by covering all the walls and stuff. And it's so funny because they give you like eight or nine, you know, a fellow legacy

died while we were making this so we can't show the guys face shots, but then they just show you the actor they got in his stead, who I have in my notes is Obi-Wan Keanu. He's got like all the Bible pages and like yarn and push pins on the, like he's tracking a serial killer with the Bible. Yeah. Right. Spoiler, it's God. Yeah. Anyway, just with all damn trilogy. So yeah, okay. So now back to the city we go. We just have to check in and on him. Make sure we would recognize this. No, he's crazy as fuck. But now we, we wind up in an empty parking lot late at night, where we learned that this movie also couldn't get Vigo Mortensen back. We get vague, Debelly, a little ghosty is dead devil shots of just like the devil being

like, sorry, Gabriel. Heaven's not big enough for the both of us. And he does that finger kiss thing. By the way, I don't know what test screening they did. Where's the finger kissing play well? Cause they carried it into this movie. They sure did. Apparently. Yeah. And they replaced Vigo Mortensen. Also, the guy who's biggest credit at this point was like a small role in young guns too. Yeah. He was like, no, guys, I'm sorry. So like what?

Like eating a flower from the first one wasn't mean enough. They were like, all right, let's have him eating a rose and spitting out thorns. They're like, oh, I should do it normal. The normal scene in this cheaper one. Let's see him like wrestling Audrey too from Little Shop. Like, all right, that's a tough Satan flower situation. So he kisses his fingers and then the ground and then we get a close-up shot of centrally a Pennsylvania cop-ower. Yeah. So this is how we're learning

about how we're getting Christopher walking back into this movie because if you were called at the end of the last one, he died and went to hell. He was dragged to hell by Satan. So while Satan has just gotten bored with his company apparently, it opens up a big crack in a parking lot to let him the fuck out. Yeah. He crawls out all naked. He's covered in clay. It's a weird scene. I feel like walking just showed up one day, covered in clay. He's like, hey, man, Jesus, what, you know what? It doesn't matter. Just climb out of this pit. We're gonna do a scene with this. It's perfect. I want it's the car that's in the thing sinks into the light lava. And I wanted an all-state

agent to show up and just be like, uh-oh, looks like someone kicked the angel Gabriel out of hell. Don't worry, Lacey, we got your back. See, I was thinking about it the other way. Like, does that car just wind up in hell? Like, there's like 14 people just run the AC as high as you can. Hold on, hold on, hold on. Just drive it around, hang, and drinks out of the windows. Some demon has to torture a car.

This is fucking,. You will be owned by heath and right for all eternity. Eventually, you'll find a place to park, but only eventually, he will change your oil when you run out of oil. I change the oil very on whatever. It's ridiculous. Yeah, I got the one that broke down anyway. So yeah, so this is Christopher Walkett. He got to get out of hell free card so he could be in this movie.

And now we head back to the hospital where Jennifer Beals, the flash dance. Yeah, the hero of this. Oh, god damn it. She just got better looking and better looking. Remember flash dance tonight. Flash dance. Nobody puts To hero of this. Oh, god damn it. She just got better looking and better looking for flash dance tonight. Nobody puts baby in a corner. Yeah. That's no. No. Kevin Bacon teaches a town to dance again. You're thinking of step up to the streets. Yeah. No. All right. But so she's after checking in on that that Asian dude that fell on her car, he has a weird mark on his neck, just like the angels in the last movie.

Oh, right. And she is definitely creeped out by his bedroom eye version of it's okay for hitting you with a car. She's like, oh, sorry about the hitting you in my car. And he's like, no problem. Maybe I can hit you with something in return. And he's like, ah, really just making sure you're not suing. But thank you.

It's a weird, advanced form of street harassment. Come to this hospital often. Can I get you a little paper cup with a pill in it? No, no, I I get you a little paper cup with a pill in it? No. No, I can get you one. Be careful. And of course, this whole time, perching high above them is Glendanzik. Oh, he ain't heard anybody. I think the character. Yeah, in the credits, but yeah, no, that's dancing. And if you don't know who that is, thank your mother for doing such a stellar job, keeping you from walking his way, hearing his words, what they mean, what they say, etc. And he's perching old people by the way, laughing right now.

This was music when we still allowed ugly people to play instruments. Yes, or, or, or say, yeah, exactly, exactly. He was the thinking man's Aussie anyway. They're not allowed to anymore. No, they're not. Look to bug your tart. No, 80 pounds. So meanwhile, back in Thomas's crazy room, he's praying so much. The candles just can't keep up with him, but no matter how much he asks God not to God sends Christopher walking to his room. Oh, and again, like we get maximum walking in this movie where he's just like walks around the room. Like I don't like the carpet. It's. I want to do badly a redesign the like monk apartment montage.

We're just white tile. I want to see a moving dirty plates around. I'm trying to perch on this table. This is gross. Wash it. Just wash gross. Watch it. Why don't you watch the dishes right away? They can dry, dries up.

You live alone. This could be a loft. So how do you feel about the phone? So Gabriel wants, he's there because Thomas is having these visions and Gabriel, Christopher Watkins character needs to know who the girl and his visions are. He won't tell him, but of course Christopher Watkins has Bernie powers as we learned in the first one. I don't mean Bernie, like, as in Bernie Sanders, I mean, like he can burn people, make them

Bernie. Those kind of powers. That's true. Anyway, they skipped the part where he's supposed to kiss him though, but he tortures him trying to get this information about his vision. Yeah, I've been to deleted scene where he went in for an awkward kiss and got denied by a half-chard corpse. He starts walking away.

Fuck, forgot to set up the snow angel thing. He's already all melty. This is on me. It's on me. All right. So we go back to this, the Asian angel dude, Daniel is the character's name. And he's at the hospital, impressing the kids with his perching powers. Let me tell you, if you love this, you will enjoy what he can do with a lighter. I could put it on tables, balance it all different. Why is this such a huge hit. Yeah, it's just balancing on it's like I can dance in any direction, name a direction. He's so he's dancing. He's so healthy. What? I would like to say it in my notes, I bet all my worldly possessions that he tried to do some of this perching and harmed himself up in the lobby.

I might have had a job where I used to practice this sort of thing. Whatever. Whatever. They were bangs. I wanted to get you to get mad at you. Oh, are you okay? You want me to come up? No. You want me to send Loki up?

Yes. But yeah, I wanted a kid to just get mad at him. They're in a hospital with like dying kids. The kid just be like, Hey, man, I got fucking leukemia and I'm eight. Tell us a fucking joke or something. You're balancing on a chair. He's a fucking chair. Set up. Yeah. But now this is just to introduce us to this scene so that the angel can ask Jennifer Beale's character, Val, were so damn dead set on introducing this character and giving her a name I might as well use it. Um, the angel asks Val out on on a date

And then we cut immediately to them walking after the date right just a tiny note as he walks away from the kids to talk to her He does the kiss fingers thing which kind of ruins the whole like Entertaining the children vibe of be like, oh cool. He's doing well. Nope. Kissing fingers. All right. This way no one move. No one will. There we go. I was expecting to catch on fire. Only some angels apparently one kid in an oxygen master's birth center. Oh fuck shit. Shit. I got the right one, but still I feel Oh, man.

Spread out like a snow angel. It's a please you're making it weird. It's weird. So, okay, so now there's some about this movie that I should probably point out and I probably should have pointed it out right away. It's an hour and 20 minutes long, right? This very clearly was an hour and 50 minute movie where the Weinstein just kind of went in and said, oh, God, Jesus, cut out as much as you can and still make it make sense and then put it out.

Because they then cut a little more. Yeah, well, right, right. Yeah, exactly. I have a feeling that the editor wasn't going to be able to, you didn't have a real hand in whether or not this was going to make sense, but at least they cut everything they could. And I feel like a bunch was cut right here because he's like, you want to go out on a date?

And she's like, yeah, I mean, then we cut to the next scene and he's like, so wanna go out on a date and she's like, yeah, and then we cut to the next scene and he's like, so we went out on a date and she's like, yeah. Yeah. How about that date of ours? It was great. You wanna fuck? I do. I do.

Yeah. Well, and when you see the tiny little snippet of dialogue that we do get between the two of them, you can see why they cut out every fucking thing they could. Yeah, they're walking home from a date. He's like, so what do you think is the point of baby cancer? She's like, a job creator. I'm a nurse there.

I don't know. That's how Jesus, yeah, we also learn the CBO score. Nice. Good year for me, huh? She's the greatest. Here he is, lay. Good year for me, huh? Seriously, like Eli took a driver's test as a national program. You can use your piggy bank savings health account. Yeah, no, baby cancer.

And then also like she starts, they start talking about her ex-husband and why they got divorced. And her first thing, like her first complaint is, well, you know, he watched cops an awful lot. And I'm like, you divorced him for watching cops, but then she's like, and then he left that I'm like, oh, because you were less interesting than cops. I get it. To be fair, everyone is less interesting than cops.

Have you seen cops? It's just paid. The soldier's beating up poor people. Do you seen cops? It's just paid. Soldiers beating up poor people because of rules we've made up. Do you like the show cops? Do you not like the show cops? You can never make fun of politics and ice cream. You you you you could never make fun of anyone for being low brow again. No, no, no, I just said cops is the snobby is show in the world.

Oh, is it? I think it's a low class show, but it's literally just a show about the rich beating up the poor for arbitrary rules we made up. It's like, hey, man, you can have that propane right there. I don't understand why I can't have this propane taking punch, punch, punch. I never did that. It's the best. It is literally the that. It's the best.

It is literally the policy. It's the literal American cause. Like we point cameras at it, but we just send in our lions, armed people to go over and be like, you can't park your car there. Fight me, punch, punch, punch. I never parked my car there. I swear to God, I swear to God,

I would never lie to you. I'm a drug addict. It's the best. I don't think we've watched the same episodes. We've watched different episodes as what it is. I was like, I was early cops, the good seasons, I guess. I was talking about. You'll put a Patreon goal up right now at the end of this recording for us to do God awful cops episodes.

Please no one go to that or do that. So she left, she left her, her husband left her for disagreeing with Eli about how awesome cops was. And the angel that she's dating goes, he was a fool and then grabs her like aggressively by the chin. And she seems to, simultaneous to be trying to get away and gushing like Niagara in this scene. She plays it really weird, super uncomfortable. Yeah, really, like he grabs her by the shoulder and she has like a shoulder clip.

And she's like totally into it. She's really weird. I do like her teeth though. She has nice, I like her teeth. I like her everything. I like a lot of her stuff. Yeah, no, she's kind of a good stuff there. So yeah, and so now we get an angel fuck scene.

And in the weirdest position, you could possibly choose. Who's like, how do people fuck on their knees facing each other? Standing up facing each other. Right? Where do I push it? I'm glad. You're bellybutt. We're not the same exact height. This is difficult.

And also, he is all but winking at the camera during this sex scene. He's like, I'm making out with Jennifer Beals and getting paid for it, guys. How about that? And he does some weird, like wrestling style stuff. Like I get, like, all right, let's get a little playful, maybe like do a little rest, but like he does like like dubby, like he's going to do a suplex or like a people's elbow. I feel like that's about to happen. It's really weird. He just bends over backwards, flams her into the bed. Three points. Yeah. Just like grabbing

her chin, Boston crab. All right. All right. All right. This is where too far too far. It's not play broad dog in it. You know, he's raw dog in it. It's the 90s and condoms are dumb in equal proportions. Don't use condoms. If there's anything we want you to take away in this last seven episodes of our show. Condoms are dumb. Also, also there's this weird like while they're fucking where he stops and he goes like, do you accept me? Um, just kind of not cool. Who told about my sex life? Do you accept me? Do you actually listen to my show?

It's all that I don't want to get into it. Yeah. And then she has weird creepy angel visions while they fuck. That's a good orgasm when you see an angel battle that Is some end trainer level stuff. Yeah, you come back for that Is a guy who's into butt stuff who just like that joke, but he's upset now He knows what I meant. He knows I know him So commute going Alan

and he knows I know him. I think commute going Alan. Behind you. So not there, but do look on you never know. So now it's late that night and grandma comes in, Nana comes in, you know, going Valerie, Valerie, and while she's doing that, the angel is perching over top of her as though waiting for an opportunity to superman her. He's weird perching on the head, but like it's a turnbuckle. Like again, like he's about to do like a big leg drive.

Yeah, right. All right. But grandma comes in and like sees that she's in an obvious fuck coma and she's like, oh, someone gave my granddaughter a solid-dicking best leave her alone. Don't forget to pee quickly. No, not quickly. She's not like, oh, let me go. She's like, oh, looks like someone gave her a solid-dicking.

Yeah, exactly. Yeah, click. It's from the bed. It's from the bed. It's from the bed. It's from the bed. It's from the bed. I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean. I know you many somewhere. So yeah, but the angel ducked out right before the lady showed up and he went to a warehouse where Danzig

was. Right. And Danzig is like, is it done? He goes, it's done. And I wanted them so badly to be like, oh, yeah. So angel high five. But it's a dad's is mad because he took so long to close. Yeah, you should have begged her Me and Heath are offering a PUA class at the wine It's called patients is a virtue You could play a lady cop in like ten years What does that mean what What does that mean?

What does that mean? Exactly. Crazy. I like the phone. So while they're arguing about whether he should have fucked her quicker or raped her or what, suddenly attack angels show up and remember in that, that really cool scene from Prophecy one where like, you know, Eric Stoltz has to jump at the angels just as he's leaping through his window and shit.

Well, they decided to do that like 14 times in this movie because it was so awesome. And this is the first of those. Yeah, again, it's like someone translated all of the positive feedback they got from Prophecy one into tie and then had someone who speaks a little bit of tie, read it back to them because there's just a tremendous amount of window jumping. Yeah. Since. Yeah.

And where it makes no goddamn sense, well, not that window jumping usually makes sense. But yeah, so we had two angels in the warehouse. So now two bad angel good, other angels show up to fight them. Both of these fights will be entirely shoved based, by the way. Yeah, lots of shoving with camera work done by an old woman falling downstairs. Apparently, yes. My hip. Actually, we'll take that GoPro and use it for prophecy too. All right. Now, can I blame McDonald's? Yeah, sure. Yes. Absolutely.

Also, we get a little bit of roof chasing, a little crouching angel hidden Danzig there and some knife killing and heart pulling. Also, do I have this right? Is there a white roster girl in a tub just watching one of the fights in the alley. A tub in the alley and she's like, oh, just fighting in my alley, sticking my head out to watch this angel fight out of my tub. What? I wanted to be like, oh, I just found this fucking place.

It's neighborhood's going to shit. It's neighborhood's going to shit. I've been here for years and it was really nice when I moved in mostly gays and Hispanics, but now angels of pony pulling each other's hearts out every night. I gotta move Brooklyn. Yeah, she runs away at one's point and I want to like see what happened. Like she just like runs through the next alley and jumps in a tub. Starts telling this great story to another Allie tub person. Well also yeah, like because you assume that like

This meant something or something right like like you expect to see this character again in the movie And for there to have been some reason why a chick with dreads was in a bathtub during this fight, but no And also she sticks around and watches the whole thing and like when he pulls the angels hard out at the very end, she's like, Oh, okay, I don't want to fuck him as much now. Too far for me. Too far for me. And I'm a white girl with dreads. So that is saying a lot. That's pretty fucking far. And meanwhile, while this fight's going on, walking arrives at the warehouse, they just jumped out of sniffing around like bugs bunny or something. they just jumped jumped out of sniffing around like bugs bunny or something. Oh, so good. So at the end of the fight, walking like descends and wins against Bando one's heard of but Noah and he gives them the back breaker and just want to throw this

out there. If any movie producers are listening, Christopher walkin as Bane. And only then I have my permission to die. Oh, it's going to be worse. Yeah. So he breaks band guys back, right? And then Daniel, the Asian angel who does all the balancing, he's like, he's like, ah, you should come back to me because apparently you were on my side at one point, although we will never talk about that except for right now.

Daniel's like, no, you know Mark Wahlberg, I'm a fray and you run the way. And walk in turn turns to the camera and goes, kids, kids. And I was working for walking sings kids from by by birdie I will love this little shrimp just talks through it like Russell Crowe doing Jean-Ville just what's the matter with kids these days come on noisy crazy dirty lazy low low fast Now we're on the subject kids. Me and he's too man productive.

There's a lot. There's at least so much. I think I should let you guys go the whole way with this. At least part of me was sitting there going, no, I don't get it yet. A little bit more, a little bit more. So yeah, so the Daniel escapes the angel that fucked her. And so then he turns and pulls Dan's, he's hard out. And I'm like, well, that's there. That's all the him we're going to get in this movie. And now he's off to the dry cleaner because he sniffed out a dry cleaning ticket when

he was in the warehouse and is now following that clue. And it's the best beginning of the city. He shows up at the dry cleaner. And he gives the longest pause before he says, hi, the other actor is terrified for like 30 seconds. He's shaking while walking just stairs that. I mean, then he's like, hi, like, hello today. He always talks like David Cross on acid. That's what we're walking. I think that's like part of his thing. Also, a movie about angels, least realistic thing in it, white own dry cleaners. Let's be real people. Let's be real.

So yeah, so he goes to this guy who's running the dry cleaner and he's like, Hey, I got this ticket. Tell me where the person lives who brought this in. And I guys like, no, I can't. No. And so he uses his dark city hush powers to knock him unconscious. But Christopher Wacken doesn't know how to computer. He's an angel. And this is the matrix from the 1400s. I am so happy that this was a choice they made for this movie. It's like Christopher Wacken's character's weaknesses. He doesn't know how things work.

Yes. Christopher walkins characters weaknesses. He doesn't know how things work. Yes. In this very serious, very gory movie about murdering a woman before she gives birth to a neophyte, it's like, oh, Windows 95, we meet again. Wait, it's DOS. It's. Yeah. Literally. Yeah. And it look, he tries to eventually use the computer himself and it starts cracking. It makes dog noises. Why was it quite? Who does that? There's definitely a cutscene with walking just cracking back. And I give anything for that. What's the

matter with quacks these days? So now we check in on Jennifer Beals, whose granny is now okay, so she's waking up the day after fucking this angel and she has pregnancy aches. She's angel pregnant. Well, she's got like full blown aides the next day. It's crazy. Yeah. Yeah. So her in her, her Nana, her grandma that lives with her start arguing over whether or not grandma's gonna cook her eggs because she need eggs when you're pregnant, I guess. And like, this gets angry. Like she starts, Nana's so pissed,

she starts yelling in Spanish, throwing shit around. Yeah, grandma gets weirdly angry about the egg. It looks like she's about to like hold down the daughter and like spit raw eggs into her mouth, like big brother. Like a bird. So yeah, so she heads to see the, the, the Valerie heads to see the doctor. And sure enough, she is pregnant.

Grandma was right. And she's like, I've only been with one man. And that was just a couple of days ago. And I'm like, wow, that's a shame for everyone involved. Valerie and all the men and all the lesbians. And yeah, wow. she's not just pregnant. She's in her second trimester. So what?

Apparently he shot a fetus. I was dick into her womb. Y'all just out is just Kim Jong-un doing a thumbs up right out here. Look at that. Day two. Yeah, I'm just just have balls full of callie for good idea. Yeah. Day two. Yeah. Angels just have balls full of call for arena videos apparently.

Yeah. They, yeah, they, they just fuck you straight past the abortion laws into the second trimester. You can't do anything about that. And that must be it. Yeah. So, okay. So now we cut to two new characters in a parking lot so that we can have fun with teen suicide.

Okay. Now, wait a second. The characters in this are the guy from Buffy, who my generation will remember, and Brittany Murphy. And that is very uncomfortable because Brittany Murphy is dead now. So we're about to watch, like it was, this was too soon. The only way this could have been more too soon is if like it was an Ariana Grande Concert inside the car with the kids from bubby was a whole fuck. Yeah, it was

Well, yeah, okay, so now first thing you got to know about About these characters is they have drug eyes, you know, because let's face it Brittany Murphy pulled off the drug eyes Something fears and they've decided to kill themselves together by driving their car into a wall. That's, but it's like 20 feet away. Yeah, right. Right. You could get a plus or five miles. Yeah, there's no way you're killing yourself on this wall.

Now that would actually been pretty fucking funny, right? If you want to maintain suicide jokes, they hit the car, though the wall at like 14 miles an hour and they're like, fuck, that's gonna be pissed. And that's it. Yeah, but so she spray painted graffiti about them on the wall and they left a note. Now they're gonna murder suicide together. Maybe it was a whiplash pack. You don't know.

So and of course, this whole time, Christopher Walken is impatiently waiting for these teens to kill themselves. So he can get a lot. Oh my God. It's the crashing. It's literally watching and commenting the way I was on this movie, just like, oh, hurry up. Yes.

Places to be. What it feels like to be Anna. So yeah. So after this horribly inefficient suicide attempt, the dude dies, but the teen girl on the other hand is Brittany Murphy. So she dies too, but not in this movie. Just she's in critical condition. So yeah, Christopher Wacken wakes her up and most of the rest of this movie will be a Brittany

Murphy Christopher Wack, buddy comedy. It will be. Yeah, no, it's a pretty enormous amount of the rest remaining. Again, prophecy writers just did not make this movie about the things they needed to make it about. Last time I would have watched a buddy comedy with Christopher Walken and his undead buddy, this time I would have watched a buddy comedy with Christopher Walk walking in his undead buddy. They're moving in the right direction is what I'm saying. Pository enforcement. Yeah. No, no, I got a lot of hope for number

three here. So okay. So now we have to get another angel autopsy because that was another cool part of the first one that they're trying to revisit here. And the only other non Christopher walk it after they could get back was the guy who played the coroner. So we take advantage of that. So the cops have drug Valerie in to look at the dead angel bodies because they know she fucked the dude once. How? How do they know that?

Well, they found his, the receipt, the laundry, she got laundry done for him. Oh, the hospital. Oh, the hospital. Right. They found the hospital bracelet. Yeah. Okay. So they know that she was a nurse when he got, yeah, that's it. Yeah. Now it makes sense. Great job to every nurse in this hospital. We are bad cops. I feel like we didn't have to bring each one down to see these dead heart-pulled bodies, but I mean, they look awesome, right? Doesn't it all look like a rubber doll that

we repurposed from the first one? And of course, this dead guy also has a weird angel tattoo, very important that we see that. And that's when the corner from the last movie shows up and he's like, wow, come here. I need to expose it at you. It's so weird. Who do they think is going to be watching the prophecy, too, that didn't see the prophecy. What? Were they hoping that this would not hurt their box office set? What is the point of a summary? I mean, I know this is a little bit of a sequel problem, but like 40 minutes into the movie, they're like, oh, and by the way, here's the plot of the first one. Yeah. Well, this movie will make sense. No. But also like the conversation

doesn't make any sense because the corner is like, hey, I know exactly what it is. This is a den angel. I know that angel's when I see what my buddy Thomas knew all about that angel's, but he burned a death in act one. And she's like, why did you tell me any of this? And she's like, forget, I ever told you any of? And she's like, forget I ever told you any of this. She's like, yeah, but why? And then he leaves. That's the conversation. No more movies for me.

Bye bye. And then just again, to point out all these beautiful, delicious moments in this movie that don't make sense, she looks back at the body and gets a nose bleed. That will never come back. No. No. I wrote my notes like pregnant angel fetus nose bleed that is. And sure, that's just, he just got a real nose bleed in there.

Like, all right, well, you guys crushed that scene. So we're keeping that. So you have been standing around Christopher walking for a while. It tends to happen. So now we like when you make a great Ariana Grande joke and he doesn't laugh with the right timing man. So it ends up having to be cut from the episode. It's like that. It's it. Did your nose bleed when that happened? So now he, split now we're going to cut to a corner's van where they're loading up the angel bodies.

And C walks comes out to chat with the corner. But not really. He's just like, Hey, Joe, and then he blows up the van. Yeah, he does the Kiss finger fire explode. He thing. Yeah, as the van walks by. Walking would be the best Walmart greeter ever. No, happy would you be if you walked to Walmart and it was just walking, talking to everyone. I would go more often than I already do, which is often. I go to laugh at poor people. Also, I buy things and then I throw them in the garbage in front of them.

If they're buying a thing, I buy it and then I throw it out. Also, another Ariana Grande joke. Let's get everybody back. Yeah, exactly. Let's make it tasteful. Also, can we give some kudos to this awesome corner van driver guy who finishes loading up the van and he's like, you know what, fucking, I'm finishing my sandwich. These dead bodies can just sit here. Yeah. He clearly ate a few bites of sandwich loaded a few corpses. We're back

to have the rest of the sandwich. It's awesome.. They're not getting any dinner. But in priority, it's probably a joke. Scott should perfectly reasonable times. Also, people give him shit for that too. So, okay, so now Jennifer Beals has to drive to the mission where Thomas burned up in earlier in the movie because they couldn't get the actor. And this is where she chats up this old monk. Jedi Richard Dreyfus. That's it. And I love it. Okay, this is just such a stupid movie thing that they do is like they start this conversation with a two of them walking out and the old monk is going, and I don't really know what

outside could tell you about him. And she goes, hmm, he was a detective once, right? So we're supposed to believe that we went so far through the conversation that this guy was chatted out without ever mentioning that, oh yeah, he was a cop. Well, to be fair, there was like 40 cut minutes of like a good girthy, you know why? Like a coat can. Sorry, did you want to know about his job or life?

No, no, actually now that you're, I'll stick with this. Like this one. This is a house for gay guys. That's what this is. It's like an echo dot. So she's basically like, so could you maybe tell me any of his dirty little secrets in the monks like, well, that would move the platyloan nicely now wouldn't it's come on upstairs.

She shows them the angelic script, but it looks like a bad number three. And I wanted him so badly to be like, that's a number three, but you did it wrong. It's only got two bumps. You got to imagine a camel. That's how I'm secure. It is that you're doing a camel. But we actually said, he's like, oh, that means angel with a huge dick. Did you get fucked in the philopian tube anytime recently? Get fucked in the philopian tube. So, that I came here, this is useful information. Yeah.

So, he takes her upstairs and he gives her Thomas's old angel diary where he kept all his crazy persons scribblings. Right. Pops it at VHS of Prophecy One. Yeah. Now it all makes sense. Yeah. And he's like, well, what did Thomas think was going to happen? And he's like, well, Thomas believed there was going to be a whole trilogy worth of theatrical releases, but don't worry.

Any idea. He says, just a little moment here, she goes, well, what if the good side wins? And he says something in Latin, but it's super weirdly conjugated. I don't know, I listened to it at the time. I didn't actually write down the words, but it translates to, then Ash from heaven,

to burn, to cover, ground. Really? They didn't bother doing the full Latin here. They just went with weirdly weirdly conjugated standard verbs. It's very strange. He's like, oh, fuck this movie and it's bullshit. Conjugation of Latin.

Did you study Latin? Yeah, a little bit. Because I'm pretty sure he said al dente at one point. Was there a prophecy about post-aping? I don't know. I'm worried we're going to destroy our jobs. about pasta being firm in part of the bottle. I feel like that's, I don't want to be worried. We're going to destroy our jobs if you learn about all the pasta related prophecies and Christianity. This could be he'd see the light moment.

Right. Rahman. So yeah, and this is also where we start talking about the Nephilim, which Ely earlier identified as a neo fight, but this is where we learned that like part of Thomas's crazy man prophecies were about an angel woman human hybrid that was going to be born when an angel fucked a human. And you just say you're fucked by an angel. Yeah, this is so weird. So glad to hear you guys. You you read the Bible closely. Aren't the Nephilim, they're giants, right? Well, the word is generally translated as giant.

Yes. The Bible doesn't specifically identify them as giants. It does more or less identify them as the children of angel men and human women. Yeah. Well, but it strongly implies that they're giants and like super strong and super warriors and shit. Well, I was really excited for like a giant baby movie, you know, like a like a look who's talking free, bringing up baby combination with Christopher walking.

I mean, I'm doing the voice. We don't know what three has to offer yet. We don't know that's not over again. This big. So yeah, so she realizes that she's going to have a giant slide out of her badge. So she's not super happy. The doctor will set up a C section like now. Wish.

So yeah. All right. So now Gabriel takes suicide girl to the dry cleaner to find stuff on the ancient computer for him. You needed her just to do computer and drive, I guess. Those are the two things you can't do. Anything with the word driver. And he can't do it, I guess. Well, that's what's going on. Also, can you golf from me? Um, I was going to say if the next movie takes place at a golf course, we'll know.

Yeah. So all right, Brittany Murphy, wake up. Yeah. You know, we use a three wood. Look how far away we are. It's ridiculous. So now they find, okay, so first of all, I want to point out just how stupid this plan was, right?

Because Christopher Walken could have just like woke the guy back up and did the Bernie thing until he showed him how to use the computer. I feel like the guy at the dry cleaner would not take a lot of hellfire before he gave up the address. But instead he goes, finds a suicidal teen and I, you know, it's worth it to go find Brittany Murphy. Sure, but I don't think that's what he had in mind. Anyway, so now he's figured out where Valerie lives.

We get her coming home, but uh oh, the doors already open. Maybe something creepy is going to happen behind that door. Oh, and I just want to acknowledge that her outfit in this scene is phenomenal. 1990s at its best pants. So I, you can wear them as a sweater. Did the wastes move over time? What was it like when all women grew hips in between their feet and their necks? What was that day like? Did you all get together? She rocked it. I'm just I'm just gonna say I mean make fun of all you want. She look pretty good. Yeah. So yeah, so she comes in. And of course, there's the pop scare of what what's grandma watching? QVC. She's in a ways to ton of money, terrifying.

I got it. I wanted so badly for Christopher, we're all going to be sitting next to grandma, like, shitting on QVC. Like, no, this, this is classic MLN. They're just riding the crazy. Based on nobody's calling this three callers in an hour. They're making all in the prices based on nobody's calling this three colors in an hour they're making all of this up This is not most of their sales are online This isn't nice jewelry. It's just a nice camera. It'll be the same price in 10 minutes. That's a lie in 10 minutes, that's a lie. So, um, so, he just bought a lot of knives. He just bought a sufficient collection of knives. We didn't all learn it the easy way. But instead of watching QVC with Nana, he has purging over her dead body. Now it takes a long time for

Jennifer Beals to realize that that's a dead body. So apparently that's just, you know, Nana sleeps like a vampire normally Also you know tall Nana By the way, I feel like you could keep angels out of your room by just having no furniture They just like pace around feel an awkward without a perch like man Nothing, or you just keep setting up dominoes like in a little stack Nothing, or you just keep setting up dominoes like in a little stack. Oh, 34 minutes and I got to tell you I'm having a terrible time.

Are you a little doll, man? So, all right. Walk and say, yeah, all of those jokes he likes. Yeah, no, yeah. Ten dangers are too far. You know how many people die from falling each year? This is a normal line. I have a particular normal line.

I'm pretty sure everything about it. Yeah, no. So, you're writing this up. So, I'm going to like our Patreon survey that I'm putting out tomorrow. What's funnier? I'm not going to like it either. So all right.

So walking, she comes in, walking shoves the door close behind her and is like, yeah, I had to kill your grandma. You know, it's just nothing personal. It's only business or whatever. But why? Like my immediate question in my notes is, why? Why did he have to kill Nana? There's nothing. It's not like Nana was going to give birth to the giant. There's

no reason. He's like, it's not personal except I only did this to upset you. Apparently. So yeah, he roughs her up a little bit, but just then Daniel dives through the window and to save her and she runs off. Again, Angel spent a lot of time leaping through windows. And another fun way to fuck with angels put clear colored bars on your windows. They're just, ah, shit! Man! All right, you go, I'm going to go around the front.

You go, we're going to meet and we'll fight there. Fuck! We both hit that hard. Just get some safety glass. One of those sliding doors, angels keep running up against it. Oh, Jesus. All right, we got to get some stickers of angels. Fuck it gross or cat. I don't know. So they get into a fight. Daniel and Gabriel get in a fight. She runs off, Gabe impales him on a bed post. He could rip his heart out now, but he doesn't because they need him still for act three.

Yeah. Oh, by the way, this same thing happened to sugar ray. I'm pretty sure that's where that song comes from. Every morning, there's a halo hanging from the corner of my grandma's forepost bed. Oh, there you go. Nobody. Uh, no. Uh, for those who aren't familiar, that's a song back when African Americans did songs. I feel like they still do sugar ray is all the way away. Ray is white. I didn't really white. I don't know who that is. So I don't know what that is. But you said sugar ray. I figure. I know. I'm with you. I'm white guy named sugar ray. You saying I got walked out of this first concert. Never known what I think that's what I expected. I think the band is called

sugar ray. And there's a very clearly white guy with like white a sharan. And now we're changing the rules around. So the important thing though is that Gabe goes off the chase to the check and then the Asian and pale angel dude also goes off to chase Gabriel. So every is chasing everybody. Right. And lady here, Resales decides not to like run normally.

She decides to like parkour away from Christopher Watt and Brittany Murphy. Obviously. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Right. Brittany Murphy, of course, is to get away driver. Yeah. And so she leaves that. Where's the best place to go when somebody's trying to kill you? And she was like dark alleyway. She ran to a dark. Wait, this one's too, I want one the width of one car exactly. Yeah, right. Here we go. I'm going to walk down this.

Yeah. So surprise, surprise, they try to run her down and she has to jump over a fence and then there's a scary dog, but then they run over the dog too, I guess. I don't know. Through this whole scene, she's like consistently outrunning a car. Is that like a nephilim pregnancy power that she gets? Oh, I mean, to be fair, this was the 90s. So I'm not sure how fast cars were capable

of going at this point. It was faster than pregnant ladies. I pretty sure on that one. So I am a skeptic. I say we test it. Yeah. So apparently now they after the third dark alley that she runs into she finds one that doesn't have this like a dead end Why are why are there alleys with that ends like what would the point? Why would a city build a large Rap trap like that And of course Brittany Murphy's driving the car she's like, oh you didn't say I was gonna have to run over pregnant ladies and he's like, yeah, you do. Which is like, oh, all right. Well, I guess I have to run over pregnant ladies now. But luckily, just

before she gets run over, Valerie leaps up in the air and holds on to the barbed wire or something and is okay. Or something. Yeah. This scene was pretty boring except for Christopher Walkins lines because we're going to get to in a second. So I forgot what barbed wire was called. So my notes here are Thornwire. Sharpwire? Barbed wire. I googled it.

Guys, I know like three things are called and she made it. Yeah. No, she was fine. She was fine. And okay. So then as she's walking, because Christopher walking like flies out of the car at this point, like when they hit the wall, the Brittany Murphy had her seatbelt on. He didn't. So he flies out of the car and is unconscious. So she manages to walk away. And just as she's walking out of the alley, Daniel is there. And like Jedi mind powers her to sleep again or something. Yeah, sleep. Yeah. So she wakes up in a like locked in a church right afterwards. And Daniel's there. She demands answers,

kind of pissed about her dead granny, but like not that pissed. No, she's like, she's mad about like a second trimester baby inside of her a magical like roofie abduction and dead grandma in the tone of like a medium angry text. Giant fetus Jedi roofie trick dead grandma not cool. Text me back though. So yeah, so Daniel and Valerie are having their conversation and he's going like, yeah, it turns out I'm an angel. And even though she was seem to be buying into this angel ship when the monk was telling her about it, when the guy actually says, no, I am an angel. She's like, bullshit.

That's stupid. Movie's stupid. But then he decides to prove it by showing off his wing. But apparently they didn't have a wing budget. No. What a weird place to skimp. Because what happens is we see our face and we see the shadow of the wings. Yeah. Which was very clearly someone with their hands, their palms pressed together, just against the light being like, we had the money for Christopher walkin', but not some feathers. You sound?

I bet they had wings and walkin' just kept taking them home. I'm gonna fly. You're flying today. Walkin', you keep breaking them, you can't fly. I believe. All right, but remind me, when did dogma come out? I was right around the same time. 99.

Okay, if you watch that movie, you watch the credits. You can see why we needed CGI. There are like 390 people listed as the people who did the wings, the angel wings for that movie. And they look fucking terrible. Yeah, to shoot them with the machine gun. Yeah, yeah. And apparently, yeah, it was a big thing and they couldn't afford it for directive

videos. And since that is literally the best this big thing and they couldn't afford it for direct the video is shit. And since that is literally the best this movie is going to give us in terms of a suspenseful scene ending, I guess we're going to pause for a break there. But first, let me give act three, the hard sell. It needs it. Will Christopher walk in get a free abortions here monologue? Will Brittany Murphy sit on Christopher Walkins lap?

Will the movie save it stupidest stupid for the final two scenes? Yep. So stick around for the we have to wrap it up somehow conclusion of the prophecy to. Keith. Oh my God. Vigo more since. Nope. No, it's me again. Oh, okay. That's really confusing, man. I know. I know, sorry about that. So here's the thing, I got Gabriel out of hell and I need you to help Michael, the angel turned him into a human.

Into a human? Yeah, he's gonna try to kill a lady who's gonna give birth to a half angel, half baby giant, and I need you to help us out by doing. I honestly don't know. I'm just saying, if you see Michael, give him a picture. That's a headshot of Eric Roberts. What?

Nope. Nope. That's just Michael looks like Eric Roberts. Oh, seriously? God has the weirdest idea. I know. I know. Why is it going to help out or not?

Yeah. All right. I'm in. So you kicked him out of hell. Yeah. It's just like, oh, the fire. It's so fiery. Is that is that you're Christopher walking in Russian doing. Yeah, it's terrible.

Really math and your mother species. That's a better walking. That's a better one. What make them so. Ow! What make him so? Oh, what happened? Eli! I need you to wake up and serve me. Oh, but didn't I just try to...

Yeah, yeah, I know. Happy birthday, by the way. Oh, thanks. And so now I'm... Yeah, for now! I mean, okay, I guess. do you need me to like do? Simple, simple stuff you're good at. Driving, working with computers. Okay, you want me to check your spelling too? Well, maybe.

Wait, what? Nothing. This is going to be great. Let's go. Wait, what? Nothing, this is gonna be great, let's go. Got a bad feeling about this. You should have chosen that car accident, kay. And we're back for more of this shit. We're gonna rejoin the action with Brittany Murphy chilling at the least appetizing diner on earth. Well, Seawox chats with the cops outside.

And he's like amazed by the radio. I love that this movie went with a combination with an exact 50 50 split of Encino man and Angel drama. Yeah. Half of this movie is fucking crocodile. Don't you not sure how the escalator works? Yeah. Yeah.

So he, as he's talking to the cop, he hushes the cop with his dark city powers and takes the radio so that they can hear when the cops find out where the chick is. I really wanted Gabriel to get on the radio and then all the cops think that's like a bit and they start doing their best walk and access. I'm serious. Yeah, Adam 12. And I just want to point out because I've been to restaurants that are less than stellar with Heath and Eli and I feel like the way that pretty Murphy reacts here is precisely the way that these guys would react. If I tried to get them to eat at this diner, if I diner slash stationary

store, what the fuck is happening there? Barely, barely clear that they serve food. If I had gotten my hands on a gun at the waffle house at reason Kanye would have just been a shot for shot remake. Yeah. You might want to move Miranda with a Y who's sitting behind me. I'm going to go ahead and end this for our pregnant waitress comes over here to take my order. So you like pregnant people. Yes. So yeah. So so Brittany Murphy picks up a gun and shoots herself in the chest with it because she doesn't want to do this anymore And it doesn't bother her it doesn't hurt her at all and instead of having like the dead pool superhero moment here She's just like, ah fuck and by the way, nor does it bother the diner owner even slightly

He's like, all right quiet down over a minute. Yeah, I, he was pissed off enough that he stopped torturing Mel Gibson for a second to see what was going on. He comes over, like, starts to reach for the phone and Christopher Walkins like there's no need for that. And he's like, you're probably right. Yeah. No, I get this. We get teenage girls shoot themselves in the chest all the time in this place.

So why, but just real quick, why don't they have human technology and heaven and hell? Why can't they just go get some of it? You would think, you would think that the people who had died would be like, Hey, you guys want radios? We know how I made those back then. So heaven has no technology. Try to sell me less on heaven than a heaven. I hang out with my dead grandmother and there's no phones.

Just flipping pocket knives into the earth, playing mumbly peg. Is this all he's doing? I hate camping. Don't you worry. So, they're word. So, Korda, clocker. Korda, clocker. Korda, clocker. Otherwise known as the sugar ray band. Yeah. Whatever, that was a great fucking joke. Everybody, look up sugar ray.

I'm really, it's fun. You're a, I'm angry about it. I feel like we should be reacting nicely to each other's great jokes about sugar a tell your children not to walk my way. I mean, that was perfect. Anyway, I'm with both of you. I both think you suck. So now this is the portion of the film where Christopher walkin puts the teen suicide girl on his lap and explains the Bible. Oh my God. Where is the Christopher walkin' Bible? Oh my God.

Audio book? And then Adam was like, Oh, why? It was good. And it was good. So a lot of good stuff here. It's fantastic. And he begat.

Yes. He begat. Yes. He begat. Somebody else. So yeah, so walk and tell us all about the Bible and how awesome heaven used to be. And while he's doing his monologue, he's like burning her hand with his hellfire powers to tell her what a bad ass he is.

You know, so she knows better than to run off. Yeah. And honestly, he calls over Brittany Murphy to sit on his, it's so weird. It would be less weird if the diner owner also sat on walking's lap on the other side of his lap at the same time. And then he like just took out his dick and it was a trumpet and like, I don't know, it couldn't get weirder. Keep going.

Could have got better though, yeah. Exactly. And then it says blow Gabriel blow and something, something. Yeah, no, that's all I need That's all I need yeah, um, yeah, Brittany Murphy Christopher walk and Rusty Trombone. I'm there. Um, all right So it's just a blow, but I like your best Rusty trumpet. I don't know what how that differs, but yeah, all right. Yeah slide trumpets There you go rusty fluegelhorn That's not a slide trumpet. There you go. Rusty Flugelhorn. That's not a slide trumpet, but that's a good, my different one.

That's not a clarinet or a trumpet. Brass jokes from last week. He knew that he was going to get a lot of credit. Yeah. He'll really like our brass-based humor. Somebody was pretty psyched about the brass-based humor. Yes. And Maum loved it.

Maum did love it. He said, I was, it was very informational. Yes. No. Maum would like to learn about coffee. My mom would like me to turn Christian before it's all over. So you know, some people aren't going to get what they fucking want in life. But anyway, so yeah, meanwhile, back of the church, Val still bitter, but Daniel has to get her to Michael so he can protect her or not, spoiler or not, but at least as far as we know in this movie, that's the plan.

But first he has to go get Thomas's crazy shit scrolling book because it tells him how the war is going to end or something. And sure doesn't. It sure doesn't. No, it doesn't. And they have this whole conversation. They're sitting in the church and they're in different rows for some reason. Yeah. I like, I want to be like, Hey, can we sit in the same goddamn row? This is stupid. Why? No, no, I have to be one behind stock, but you're

the person who's in a front. I feel one behind just jumping back. Also, he says, don't worry. You're safe here. He won't kill you for six months, for three months. I mean, she's in her second trim, but she's not like, yeah, but I'm in the next 10 minutes. Well, the rate is just going. I mean, who the hell knows. But yeah, yeah, exactly. Well, you also, he says he won't try to kill you in a church. And then like, yeah, two scenes later, he tries to kill her in a church. Um, you guys weren't paying attention to this movie either. Um, you guys weren't paying attention to this movie either. Oh, I, I was trust me. Also, I love at the end of this, or no, I meant the writers.

Um, but I love at the end of this just to give you an idea of what I mean. She turns to him as he's, he's about to walk out and go get Thomas's book and she's just seriously, Daniel, what are my chances? And he's like, um, yeah, we were going to like we thought maybe when you asked that there would be this like cool line like vaginal lines. Remember C section. I thought you said you were going to get a C section. They never recover, you know, it's like, no, especially not with Nethaline. So like knocking down a door. You know, like knocking down a door. You know,

you know, you have fights just blast that open. You know, real strong anti-pregnancy movie going this particular episode. And I'm proud of it. So, Well, I abandoned kids, and I'm not a fan of those. Gross.

Exactly. So, all right. So on his way out though, Daniel trips the silent alarm at this church. Now keep in mind, they came into this church through a door, but only on his way out does he set the silent alarm off. And of course, that comes across to the cops, which comes across to seawox's fancy new radio. So they head off to the church with the alarm going off of Gabriel and Brittany Murphy.

Meanwhile, we get this ridiculously useless scene where Daniel shows up to the crime scene where her car is to get the book, but nothing happens. Yeah, he's got Christopher walking powers, but just like, it's fine. Let me touch the crime scene. She's, she's, she's, don't be afraid. He's like saying is don't be afraid catch friends. And I wanted the cop to be like, oh, no, I'm not afraid. I just would like you to, it's fine. Go ahead. Yeah. Look, I found Steven Avery's keys. We're just no keys. I just found keys. Thanks. So who are

you? Don't worry about it. I found key. Meanwhile, back at the church, C-walks shows up because he responds faster than the cops do because Brittany Murphy has this stellar knowledge of exactly where every church is in this town apparently. And so she runs like she hears him coming in and runs apparently till like where the noise is. What should do that? But then she thinks better of it. apparently till like where the noise is. What? What? Do that. But then she thinks better of it.

She like runs to where the noise is and she's like, wait, not all noises are friends. And so she has that in treasure walking. So stupid. It's like checking the acme dynamite. Like don't go and write near it. Don't check. You press the plunger. You know it's about.

Okay. I wanted to just dive through a stained glass window and tackle nothing and be like, oh, I swear that worked. When he didn't meld, I saw them do this before. Well, he's just standing there laughing at her. I am badly cut. This is, yeah. So he walks and she's hiding, but of course he can smell her

because he's an angel. Well, he says I can smell ya. I can see ya. No, no, I can smell you. I can see you. No, no, you can't. You see, is there? Your different senses, Christopher Walken. So he was despite the director. He was like, I smell you.

Cut, cut, get away. But don't you can't, you said you see her too. It's not. It's just, okay, just I do see her. She's right there. So where her microphone is. So he gives this whole like, you know, why hide? Planned Parenthood charges for this.

Yet speech as he wanders creepily through the church. He even sits down at the organ at one point has to play a few chords out. I thought they really missed their to need to have Christopher walkin' just crush on the organ. It's like, it's all records off the shabby. Yeah. I would like to do that there too. That would have been good. Or like a call in response. Like she walks out of a hallway playin' the trumpet back to him.

Yeah. I wanted him to just go shave and haircut on the organ. Roger Rabbit births that are one of the pipes wrong movie. Yes. So, of course, while he's doing that, she's quietly grabbing a stabby implement. Don't worry, it's a church. There's plenty, but no, she can't stab him in time because he appears on the other

side of her or something and throws her down on the floor. But luckily, the cops in this stuff, they're not like the cops in the last movie. They can't be bothered by pedophiles hanging out in the school. A fucking silent alarm goes off at a church and three cops show up with guns drawn. Was it three? It felt like an army of cops and like a dedicated SWAT team for this silent alarm at the one church in this town. Where are they? Yeah, right. So the church break in SWAT team arrives and also Daniel shows up right then. He's got to come into savor and Brittany Murphy in her attempt to escape a hands Christopher walk in the gun, but he doesn't know what guns are. So he's like, no, fellas, wait a minute and get shot 85 million times.

But the cops see what happens right. Like, she runs up to him with a gun and then he hands the gun to him. He clearly doesn't know what it is. And then they all shoot him like, well, technically he's got the gun now. I guess he's the one we're shooting. It's because she's like a, she's like a bad toddler pretending to be a ghost. Just like, oh, where's the gun going? Yeah. So, you know, I guess the music ran out well.

He had it. So the cops shoot him. And as the cops are shooting him 8,000 times, Daniel rushes in under the bullets, snatches up Jennifer Beals and rushes off. Luckily none of those bullets hit anyone else. But he did drop Thomas's crazy book and That was not matter not really no there's nothing that that will tell us later But yeah walk and fall is presumably dead but not and

Then we cut to the morgue where right and teenage heath is checking out Christopher walkins close I would like someone in a movie ever ever who works in a morgue to just do their job and go home. She's a regular human morgue worker who isn't like, I'm going to put this guy's ball sack on my head as a bathing cap. Do you think as a morgue worker you're ever watching a movie and you're just like, God, come on. Oh, come on. The whole profession is just misrepresented in every movie.

Yeah. Well, this is also feels like another moment where it was just walking, hanging out at a morgue. Hey, can I take a nap here on your metal table? You want this jacket? I'll give you this jacket. Yes, jacket. Try it on.

Yeah. And of course, at the same time that he's in the more getting his jacket stolen, the cops have Izzy. That's a Brittany Murphy's character in custody. And they're asking him what's going on. She's being strangely bitchy about the whole thing or honest, depending. She's like, oh, but bitchy honest. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Well, that's true. Like, I guess there's no truth that she could tell that wouldn't come off as bitch you at this point. Right. But he comes in and he shushes the cops. Yeah. And now he has the crazy book which they took as evidence.

Again, this will not matter. Oh, it did matter. Didn't it? Doesn't it? It's going to tie in. No, it's not. No, no, no, no, it's, yeah, we're going to keep trouble. No, it's not. No, no, no, no, no, it's easy. Yeah, we're going to keep Trego who has it for a while. But it was, but he does say loose lips sink ships. So apparently he does know 1940s war propaganda, not cars. No, yeah. If this movie

just ended with 20 minutes of walking, saying old timey adages, I would have been pretty happy Penny saved is a penny Stitchin time saves Nye Yeah, do you have to do the math is the list of my favorite races? That's an old timey adage we're just old timey on this show. Yeah, no, that's it. That's it. It's heritage, not hate. So why? So now this movie starts to very much play like a rom-com between seawox and the suicidal team.

Yes, it does. Because she sort of has that like, you know what, you're pretty cool, kind of a moment here. I mean, he says, come on, we're going to Eden. And I'm like, Oh, that's in Missouri. I know that one. Is there an Eden? No, it's that this the mormons where they say that. Oh, but then we get there and it looks a little more like East St. Louis. I'm like, that's an Illinois guy's lot of people make that mistake. Yeah. Eden's Detroit. Is it? It's a, it's a factory town apparently where they produce nothing but smoke stacks. Yeah, that's that's eating. I thought at first this was the angel factory. You know, they're not born. Maybe God just has a factory where he chugs them out. Just a homeless God hanging out front

yelling at the cops. What happened was what happened was I made man and then I drowned him. I never loved him. So I killed myself to myself. Punch, punch, punch, punch. I never made man or did it. I know I wouldn't lie to you. I just now realized how much of your humorous comp spaces. What's your favorite TV show? Gotta say cops, gotta say. There is no show where they directly feed the port alliance yet.

When that comes on, it will be second. But for now, there's an episode where a little person tries to get out of handcuffs as hard as he can. He's all messed up and he's like, go and he tries so hard. That's your favorite TV show you're just gonna be okay. And he can't because the heck is, and he's on drugs. And the drugs have convinced him.

Just look at him. This is Eli, this is Eli in ecstasy. In case you were curious. Yeah, all right. So you fall asleep watching this happen. No, I'm kind of under a thaw if I like to watch a little person struggling with handcuffs and that they can't get out of. You know, it's like struggling. It's like an early season. Little grotesque type of thing for everybody else in the world.

Little person struggling with handcuffs. So yeah, so, so, you take him off there. He's right there. He's right there just a white woman with no shoes pointing like a triangle point. Her wrist is up and her fingers pointed at her hug. You him right there off there, right there. He came in, he scared my dog.

He scared my dog. He scared my dog. And then everyone gets the 50. When are we going to get a cop sponsorship? Yeah. Goddamn it. You guys are listening. All right, so they so they walk into where Eden is. Now first, first we got to uh,

Valerie show it up, right? And we've got just this, basically this factory with angels just perched here and there throughout. Oh, it is perched central. And they're like, they're like, Sullen birds who hate their parents. They're like, oh, I'm there. I thought a bunch of them were about to like fly away and just shit on Valerie's head. And they say it's lucky. Oh, getting a bird to shit on your head. Yeah, that's true.

Who says that? Eli does. Oh, there you go. Someone comforting you after a bird. Yeah, really. Yeah, exactly. So, okay. So he goes to like, Daniel goes to take the girl to see Michael and Michael's like minion or whatever stops and he's like Michael wants to see just the girl. Cock. So he takes him off or he takes her off to go meet up with with Michael and who is Michael? But Eric I have 51 pending projects on IMDB Roberts. Eric Roberts. Eric Roberts.

Eric Roberts. Eric Roberts. Eric Roberts. Eric Roberts. You will remember him from literally everything. You'll remember him from getting to have sex with Angelina Jolie. That's all that's that guy. I don't care what movie he was in.

He got to have sex with Angelina Jolie more than zero times. Did he? Billy Bob Thornton? You think of Billy Bob Thornton? Also Billy Bob Thornton. Did Eric Roberts was he dating Angelina Jolie? I believe so. Really? Yeah. In dirty dancing. Who wouldn't fuck Eric Roberts? I mean, that's not the point I'm making. Obviously. I didn't know what you were fucking. Eric making. Obviously, I'm going to fuck around with Roberts. Angle to take on this is Eric Roberts is up. I feel like it's two thirds of this podcast Sally, huh? I'm just saying it's like, you know, an inappropriate age difference and that's awkward.

Do you guys fair? Are you guys also into Slim Jim's? Because Eric Roberts looks like a Slim Jim in a white to pay. He's just pure leather. It's the best. And it's it's 1998 or 97 when this was being shot. He had no idea where he was, what direction he was facing. It's the best.

And honestly, this whole set is so weird. They're in this like fucking apocalyptic factory, like, like dystopian paintball area. Yeah. And I wouldn't be surprised if him and walk and rented this place together instead of a trailer. And we get to film act three there, though, dammit. And they did. Yeah. So he goes off to talk with with Eric Roberts and and they're Michael, the angel Michael. And this is also when C. walks shows up at the factory with Brittany Murphy. And I just wrote my notes, God, Jesus, no one has ever pulled off smeared makeup like Brittany could.

Oh, she's the best. She's amazing. Yeah. And he gets out of the car and he goes, what a dump. And I wanted him to just do who's afraid of Virginia Wolf with the angel behind the game. And like, what movie is that from? Where the girl or something?

So now, next time, if you ever see like a really serious production of who's afraid of Virginia Wolf and she says, what movie is that from, you have to scream prophecy to. I don't care if you're not in the theater. That's your obligation. Music, prophecy too. It's not about happens in my life.

I'm going to lose it. It's going to be big trouble. I'm going to just go see those. Just in case. Yeah. So, okay. So, and also there's this bizarrely stupid scene out of your where she goes to busy. Sorry.

I hope that happens. So okay, so Murphy asked her walking up. There's an apple tree that has one apple on it and she reaches up to eat it and then Christopher Wagon goes, don't eat that, trust me. Zing! Bible jokes.

Also, tiny moment here, but they've obviously run out of angel bames because when Christopher walk and comes over, he goes, get guy, my L. The old angel Tony, the angel. Are you the bad guy in the smurfs? Also. So, uh, so smurf, we move over to, um, well, well, he's chatting up the gate, Angel. We move back to Michael chatting with out and they're saying words, but no information is being exchanged here. Literally, I'm not sure I can protect you. I don't know what I can believe. What do you want to believe it? No, then don't. What?

1998. Say it. You made it in 1990s. You weren't the 1980s. Yeah, right, right, exactly. We didn't have to rise that high. Yeah, okay. So now Michael leaves her to go chat with Gabriel so we can get some angel shit talk.

Yeah. And the only way this scene could have been better is if Michael had turned out to be played by Al Pacino And Christopher walk and facing off about bitchy angel in fighting is pretty I Feel like they were just arguing about like the factory that they clearly rented together like you kept stealing my drugs and peanut butter Like a tape line down the middle. Give me back my penguin pads, which is a call forward because I'm going to rip out he's heart.

All right. So Michael threatens Gabe with super hell, I believe at one point. And then Gabe is like, oh, wait a minute, I have a bunch of evil angels in an army flying above me. Were they, were they just flying around behind him this whole time for like two movies? Just the case. I see him make a point to Eric Roberts. He turns around.

They're all just like sipner texting doing like crosswords to tie. Shit, sorry. Flying in the sky sipping their texting, doing like passwords. That's high. Yeah, sorry. Flying in the sky. Circle, circle, circle. No. Yeah. Yeah. He plays.

Where's that movie? The just angels waiting for walking. They could call it waiting for walking. Nothing to be done. So Beckett reference is that. Yeah. We're high, bro. Yeah. Hi, Brad. Hi, Brad.

We all gotten our little boutique joke. We're getting this one audience member at a time. So so Michael decides to let Gabriel in on the condition that he makes his angel army stay outside. And you're just then you're like, wait, none of this then makes sense. Yep. And Christopher Walker acknowledges this. He's like, yeah, but wouldn't that mean that this whole movie led up to like a game of hide and seek? And Eric Roberts is like, I cannot feel my lips at all. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, yeah, no, it's going to get even less sensible as we go.

So, yeah, so Michael runs over to explain to Daniel that she must now face Gabriel on her own for reasons that make no fucking sense. And Daniel's like, well, but I'm going to rescue her. And he's like, no, you can't do that. He's like, I'm going to and he's like, yeah, it doesn't none of this doesn't really matter. Just go ahead. I don't who cares. And just go ahead. I don't who cares. And Eric Roberts noticed the actor playing Daniel about

three lines into the stars. He's clearly talking to nobody at first. Then he's like, oh, shit. You're right there. I guess I'm talking to you. Hold them no second. Texan. They took a place in a hole in my face. Toro open. I'm sorry. By the way, and Daniel meet up to fight now. And the way Christopher walk in addresses Daniel as the honey moona is really the greatest thing of all time. Oh, look, it's the honey moona. Yeah. So like he stays back to like hold Gabriel off so she can get away and find a really good hiding place.

So Gabriel says, okay, Brady Murphy, take this giant decorative knife and go kill her. Gustavshi Brechen lady with a sea with Nana. Was it a chicken sickle? No, that was not it. That's not a cemetery. He was more of a cemetery than a chicken sickle. So yeah, so so Gabe and Daniel have their fight. And of course, because it's a it's a good fight, they talk about the meaninglessness of love

during it. Yeah. Yeah. Also lots of backhanded punching and pushing more shoving. And very quick. Like we knew it was going to happen, but it seemed way quick to me and my wrong did it seem like they cut three minutes out of this fight because he's just like punch punch all right give me a heart see you later kid. Yeah well okay so the thing is that like the final battle and movies has changed so god damn much over the last 20 years or so that like having what we would normally have settled for back in the day is just like, wow, nothing happened. Yeah. But 90s movie punching, the noises it makes is the I love. It's like,

like a bag of marbles and like wet shit got dropped on the floor. That's how they did it. Yeah, I'm so good. So, okay. So now we cut to, so Christopher walk and rips out Daniel's heart. He's dad. His characters are very little purpose after the initial fucking and he wanders up to go find her and we see Brittany Murphy raising her knife. Oh no, has she found Val? No, it turns out that she's going to attack Gabe who is then going to kill her. I was not having now. I had no idea. Things going through her chest kill her unlike the bullet earlier. Well, it's, it's cumulative. It's like the gun and the hat. I know. Exactly. She didn't put the, she didn't eat any food in between. Party low on health. It's a rogue lights that she comes back. And equipment she had in the

last life. I got to know that makes sense. Now it makes a no, yeah, they they they pay so little attention to consistency on this shit because yeah, now when when he does it, she's dead and gets to be dead now, who the fuck knows? All right. So then Val shows up out of nowhere and starts hitting him with a board. Then she grabs the life tries to stab him and would have got it.

Would have ended the movie right there, but she pauses to say, fuck you so they can make sure they get an R rating. And that gives him time to like fight back. When, when did movies stop doing the turn based fighting this, sometime after 98, this is 98. Definitely after 98. Very turn based. Is there turn based fighting in real life too?

Because I feel like I'm not a nailed it. I might have just been like, oh, it used gun. That's how we won World War II. So yeah, so now her and Gabriel are talking and she has the realization that she's got to live through this because God or something. So she jumps onto a, a thing. They're up high now and there's a thing that hangs.

Drops onto a plot device. Yes. It's a weird like swinging cage. It's like an American gladiators event that yeah, it's like just to be an American Gladiators thing. Yes, they jump onto an American Gladiators task. Yeah, I feel like Eric Robertson walking made a pillow forteness thing and they're just like, we're using this like we guys come down if we like put it in the movie first. All right.

All right. Yeah, we're taking the pillow. We're taking the pillows. Just third act. So we could have. We've got access to the pillow. The third act. So we could have, we've got access to the Patreon, which is on a way by a factory. Noah hates the travel.

He'll never find us. Start our Christian podcast anew. There you go. So okay, so in case you didn't get enough of this in the first one, sorry, that gave you a great visual for just a second. What, me and Eli, I'm trying to put you in a perch on a perch on a bucket. That should be a Patreon ball. Like if we just certain about you guys have to try to perch on a fucking pipe. You get us to the cops Patreon goal and I will throw in the perching for free. I'll perch on a pipe and eat a gym baker bucket.

Same time. There you go. Thanks for reminding everybody that we still owe him that and. And this show. It's not a lot of show. Yeah, no, none of those listeners listen to this one. So yeah, zero. Um, also, okay.

So in case you didn't get enough of it in the first movie, she is also going to ultimately thwart Christopher walkins character by talking about how much God doesn't care much for him anymore. Like she remembered the end of prophecy one. Yes. Oh, wait, that priest showed me the VHS tape. I know. Oh.

Yeah. So, you know, she's like God still talks to me. He doesn't talk to you. And he's like, Oh, what is he saying? And she, and she, like, leans in justice, sexy as she can. And she goes, jump. Oh, it's so attractive. The voice of the each right. I jumped just in. I jumped on to not. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I did. No, I kind of hurt my face. And this is where she does. She,

she hugs Christopher walk and then does the trust fall thing. Yep. Just falls backwards off of her cage of American gladiator death. Oh, but because God's protecting her when they fall, a pole goes right through Christopher Walkett's gut and she's fine like she was wearing skis. Yeah, she's been diesel levels of fine. Go for it again. So yeah, but see walks, of course,

well, I don't know that might be a callback. I'm not sure why I'm going to have that. It's probably a callback, but it's a callback only to patriots. So one way or the other, you're fucked. It might be a call right now. It might be a moment. Call to present. Yeah, whatever that's called.

All right, so call. I guess it's the call. We're just calling now. We call that hard to call. Is it he? All right, so call. I guess it's the call. We're just calling now. We call it. That's not that hard to call. Is it he? Oh, Oh,

All right. Well, the important thing is is that these jokes all make sense to us. All right. So that's right. Now we have, we, we, of course, C. Wauks' steak to the fence. It was so good. It wasn't it.

Yeah, we're like Marvel, we're establishing a cinematic universe They always say you got a podcast for your first listener and the person who's listening to every episode But I feel like you got a fuck both those people They join 85 episodes that align someone tweeted me the other day. They were like, oh, I'm so happy you're a part of the show now I'm a little behind I was like I have literally Don't ever read Twitter someone's gonna be like All right, oh

Yeah, they invented their own language. Were you not there? In episode 22 Oh, yeah, they invented their own language. Were you not there? I never saw you. 22, 75. That was, yeah, no, we don't get to get these jokes either. He's blocked. That was a new language.

Yeah. Twit, Twitter ease. Yeah. All right. So, yeah, so Christopher Walken is staked through the heart or straight through the stomach, I guess, because he has to have his heart pulled out. Yeah, Eric Roberts has to show up and he's like, look, if I'm going to do one, he's prophecy movies, I get to pull out a heart, right? And they're like, yeah, no, we can do that. But he doesn't. No, he does neck finger pushing instead. And he turns him into a human, a human

with a fucking pull through his gut. That's a dead guy. Sending it the hell again. But yeah, yeah, but that's what happens is he tortures him instead of sending him to hell this time, he makes him into a human. And then so now we have to wrap up like what the fuck is going on in this movie to begin with. So Valerie walks up to Michael and she's like, what happens now? And Eric Roberts is like, well, they got walking under contract for three, but they're not going to, it won't be able to afford us. So I don't know some kind of post credits thing that, and some know that there's going to be a third. I guess, yes, something of sex with someone who's like legal to have sex with, but we're all thinking I shouldn't.

Are you mean in the movie? I don't know. Uh, you have an angel to bear. Yeah, or something. So yeah, so she wonders. I feel so she grabs the crazy book that walkin' had now the, she has the guy that never got fired. It made me. Nope.

Again, made. Yeah, like if it had just been sitting in her pocket, I made sense because it was like sitting on the hood. I thought it was like a big, it was no, she started off with the guy in book. Yeah. Right. Right. Exactly.

So it's come full circle or whatever. So okay. Now we cut to five years later when her kid is 11 and a half and did anyone else notice that this kid turned out real Asian? I mean, real age like I know that Daniel,, the angel guy was Asian, but like, do you feel like when she gave birth, she was like, oh, you know, I was expecting an angel, but like Asian? Yeah, I mean, he was Asian, but not he was like late 90s main character in America Asian.

So like mostly white guy. Yeah. Yeah. So yeah. So she puts her kid on the bus or whatever. And then there's a stupid thing about having to have faith. And then we cut to see walks. I was really hoping Christopher walk and turned out to be the bus driver.

I was. A couple of times throughout the movie, they go, oh, you're kiddo get on the bus and I'll never come home. And if she had, if as the bus had driven away, it had just turned and it'd been Christopher walk and it'd been like, yeah, baby, Brittany Murphy's just next to him. Oh, Mr. Jay, come on. The best ending. I would have been better than what we got, but instead we got to see walks as a bum, but

he does have a trumpet. An actual trumpet. Yeah. Well done. And basically it's just like, you know, like some people walk by and give him money and they're like, no, he's funny. He thinks he used to be an angel. This is going to be a third one, I think.

It'll also be direct video. And that's it. And that's it. The movie ends on hour and 15 minutes after it began. All right. So I can't help but imagine as I said that this movie started off as a two hour flick and the least interesting 40 minutes were excise, which means there were 40 minutes less interesting than the stuff that we just watched.

Kind of like the show today. Yeah. So I wanted to propose that we wrap up with our guesses for the best worst deleted scenes from the movie, not this, this week's episode. I'm not asking you to predict what I'm cutting out of Elias jokes. But what were the best worst deleted scenes that were pretty sure were in there at first? Oh, I'm going to say walk in, open mouth kissing a giant fetus. Uh, I'm going to go with Britney Murphy signing Christopher walking up for Facebook.

All right. The years don't quite match up, but that was an, I don't want to use that profile picture. How do I, you can change it, you can change it later. How do I friend you daughter? I want to, are we friends now? I want to write on her wall. Hey, give me an angel baby. Love grandpa. Have you seen cops show ever? And I like Donald Trump. And while that's going to do it for our review of the prophecy, too, that's

not going to do it for the episode yet, because we still need to do this part of the show, even though it's kind of obvious what we're watching next. So Eli, tell us what's on deck. The prophecy three. Oh, should we keep watching these? This is a good idea. Of the walk any part. We should at least watch the last walk in one. Yeah, we can renegotiate,

uh, they're the last walk in one, but I feel like we're probably gonna watch all of them. Well, four and five, I believe we're like released the same year and what I'm like an hour and six minutes longer. So yeah, I don't know. Both at the same time. And I don't know. I don't know.

Adrian, not all of that is going to have a watch cops. But I want to point out that like this movie, the third, the third one in this trilogy, actually takes a step down from like Jennifer Beals and Danzig, like there were literally no other recognizable names in the cast for the third one. So I'm, I'm really looking forward to this. Going to be back to our bread and butter, I do believe. So with bread and butter to look forward to, we're going to bring episode 93 to a merciful close. Once again, a huge thanks to all the Patreon donors to help make the show go. If you'd like to get yourself among their

ranks, you can make a per episode donation at patreon.com slash God awful. And thereby earn early access to an extended ad free edition of every episode. You can also help us a ton by leaving us a five star review on iTunes and by sharing the show and all your various social media platforms. And if you enjoyed this, show, be sure to check out our siblings shows the scanning aides to the skeptic rat and citation needed available on iTunes and wherever else podcasts live. If you have questions, comments or cinematic suggestions, you can email God

awful movies at gmail.com Legal services for this podcast were provided by the law offices of P. Andrew Torres, our theme music was written and performed by Ryan Slotnikovic, Evil Drafts on Mars, all other music was written and performed by our audio engineer Morgan Clark and was used with permission. Thanks again for giving us a chunk of your life this week for Heath and right knee-ly Bosnick, I'm Noel Luciens, promised to work hard to earn another truck next week, until then we'll leave you with a breakfast club close. another truck next week until then, we'll leave you with a breakfast club close. Brittany Murphy spent the next decade plus as a very successful actress. The obstetricians still tell stories about the light and trumpet noises that came out

of General Furbeel's Vag. Great! Pfft! Davis! Call back. C'mon. All right. Now I throw up a rainbow. I can. So it's not sad. No, but it's sad when they throw up a rainbow.

See that is the commercial right there. That's an advertisement for a lucky charm right there. The Irish throw up rainbows all the time. So Morgan, now that you've got the image of you and a little pupoos, you're the first time ever. We will close that, record out. The preceding podcast was a production of Buzz on a thunderstorm LLC, copyright 2017, all rights reserved.

Copyright 2017, all rights reserved.