God Awful Movies - 99: GAM099 Journey to the Sky

Episode Date: July 11, 2017

This week the God Awful Movies crew takes to the stage in Seattle Washington, where Heath and Noah review Journey to the Sky, and Eli eats brownies a fan gave them without asking what was in them. ---- --- If you’d like so see us live, check out our latest tour dates here: https://scathingatheist.com/2017/05/01/god-awful-movies-world-tour/ --- If you’d like to pick up a copy of our new ebook; Diatribes Volume 2: 50 More Essays from a Scathing Atheist, you can find it here: https://www.amazon.com/Diatribes-Essays-Scathing-Atheist-Presents-ebook/dp/B06XQTJT4R --- If you’d like to make a per episode donation, please check us out on Patreon: http://patreon.com/godawful Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars. If you’d like to hear more, check out their Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts All our other music was written and performed by Morgan Clarke. To hear more from him, check him out here: https://soundcloud.com/morgandclarke

Un chapuzón, con el avito, tu serie favorita y en medio de tu siesta. ¡Ey! ¿Has visto esta? No sabes la de planazos que hay este verano en Guésville Parque Sur, con ciertas obsesiones con DJs, clases de yoga, talleres con marcas y actividades con niños, te apuntas. Un sueño de verano, bailo es fin parque sur. This is adventure number one. This is the adventure of the Shepherds and the Thieves. That's a weird labor guilt. The Shepherds and the Thieves, I found some Falconers and rapists in a group. The Falconers, you guys can just step out for a minute. Let's talk with everybody else. So I'm gonna minister. It's the union of the shepherds and thieves.

Today's old business is cheaper, hard to keep in one place. And again, who took my wallet? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Movie, movie, movie! Welcome back to the Gamcast where each week we sampled another selection from Christian cinema because after the two screaming babies behind us on the planet A little fucking way out here nothing seems unpleasant anymore. I'm your host nousions and we're coming to you live from the only city that gave us the future of the Jetsons promise. Say hello to the folks back home, Seattle! See, a lot of people don't know that the space needle in the Jetsons came out in the same year. I've been carrying that around for a long time. Never had a reason to mention it before. And of course, join in me from stage, right? Ladies and gentlemen, please say hello

to my good friend Heath and Wrights. Yeah. Yeah. We're hoping for a sponsorship yet. So how you doing, Heath? Good. Good. You don't want to paper back for that? That's okay.

All right, as long as you're good. Because we can't help people getting crazy and nebriated. Emile or so. And of course, joining me from stage left, please welcome my bad friend Eli Bosnick. Dude. Eli? it. Dude. Eli. Eli. What did don't it don't encourage him. What did what did Andrew say about corporate logos on the show? He said the sponsorship didn't go through. Yeah, well, that meant not to wear those. But you know what I did do by a research to get this.

We're trying not to talk about that publicly. Remember not talking about that. All right. All right. It's just not quite a show if you don't see Eli's asses. All I'm gonna say is from where we're at, you can see a hell of a lot more. Imagine being our lawyer. That we legitimately, we get, we, he gets calls from us at one 30 in the morning where it's like, how much of Eli's ass can we show on stage?

You really haven't lived until you've heard a sleepy Androtor as say, as long as no reasonable person could expect to see your butthole. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, Go back to sleep my 13 year old son. And the cats in the creedled in the soups. Fucking love my job. So tell us, Heath. What will we be breaking down today? All right, we watched Journey to the Sky. It's the story of the guy who brought white Journey to the Sky. It's the story of the guy who brought white God to South Asia.

I'm making it into the wonderful thriving, not at all terrifying place that it is today. Yeah, no, he fixed it. No. He certainly fixed it. And Eli, how bad was this movie? Well, if you love Jesus, even though you're a dirty savage, you will love this movie. We had to do, before this show, we had to do a tech rehearsal. We just got this very nice gentleman that works for the theater standing here listening to us do that and going wow that's really what you're gonna do at your show tonight huh some Seattle college student already writing his think piece about me

oh I know is there anything you guys want to nominate this one for being the best being the worst at I'm gonna say best worst walking into random people's houses and asking for stuff That's like how shit gets done in India like food money Apparently job is like it's just a dude fucking his wife somebody to walk city like oh, hey, yeah, I full tower cool awesome Yeah Resume you want to check it out? Get a job like awful. There's like multiple times in this movie, where people just show up at other people's houses

with the most inappropriate of questions. Yeah, do you, do you, just look where do you? Just, yeah man, you're from India. That's some kind of thing that the West hasn't seen for like eight years. That's, you should have clean water. That's what you. Oh, that's true.

You should go. It's nice. You're not gonna have a good time. I want you to have a good time. That was a test. Yeah. That was like a fire alarm for my vicious, vicious racism. Yes.

Oh, I'm saying this is a good, I'm even rich. I'm a Flint portion of the rest of them. I lost someone. So, I'm hesitant to ask now, Eli, do you have any best words? Best, worst book and story. Yes, yes. And I should mention, okay, so the movie that we're doing, this is based on a true story,

right? The true story of the guy who popularized Christianity in India. And by true story, I mean, these are all things this guy claimed happened. So at the very least, it's based on a real lie. Right. But you couldn't just go straight into that story. That would be madness. What you need is two unrelated people from the same race whose problems will be introduced

and then never solved or really dealt with. Book ending the story in the most awkward, ham-fisted way humanly possible. Yeah, no, I think you've nailed it. I also wanted to nominate it for best worse use of the word adventure. Because we constantly in this movie are told like this guy, Sundar Singh, Sundar Singh went out and had many great adventures. And then they'll show the adventure And it's like he got hit in the head with a stick but not But not killed yeah Miraculously he survived I want Indiana Jones where he just get the shit kicked out of him, but doesn't die

After that last one so do I last one so do I. Yes, I'm sorry. All right, well, they told me just as I was walking out here that apparently this stage doesn't count as a legal place to smoke marijuana in this state. So I need a quick break. But when we come back, we're going to be breaking down all the prosaic adventures of journey to the sky. Well, no absolutely not. Jesus, dude. What? It's for the show. Come on! Get in the spirit! Where did you even get red paint for that? They have to sell it to you if you're over 18.

Have to. You cannot wear that on stage at the live show. Come on, it's no, no, no, and no. Okay, you didn't even let me get to the best part, but whatever, come on, Jaggy. He bought a Jaguar. His name is Jaggy. Two votes. No.

And we're back with you live from Seattle for the breakdown. And we're gonna start this movie off Seattle for the breakdown and we're going to start this movie off by learning that Brian did the audio. Also he did the everything else. The movie starts on a channel nobody paid for. Yeah, well you saw what we were dealing with. And as if the deafening room his wasn't enough to piss off the podcasters watching,

we then cut to a sitar, a lovely and euphonia sounds of a sitar. But is it a sitar or is it, look, I know all the races can't invent music. Hear me out. I know that the black people, they invented all the good stuff, and then they stopped. And the white people, they're all classical. Excuse, I don't like hip-hop. All the white people, they did all the pianos and the violins and stuff. That's all that's. But then I feel like India was just like, they got the short straw.

How do you know you're bad at a sitar? If you're sitting down with your sitar teacher, is he like, Buh-yuh! No, no, it's Buh-yuh! Buh! No, no, Buh-yuh! Just watch me, watch me, listen to what I'm doing. Buh-yuh! I am so hungry right now. Yes. Yes. I feel like we really need to get the whole food and clean water thing. Yes. Also, I've seen a television. There's usually more than one string.

Yes. Yes. If you're really hungry, these aren't vegan, but they're good. Can I get a piece of one of those? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. There's honey. You'll have to reach over, though.

So nice. If you across the country get to watch them eat baked goods live on stage. If you guys are nice, later we'll brush our teeth. Ha ha ha. Go to bed. Huh. So I might stand up at one point. Ha ha.

Take a wet angry shit. I didn't know you have it all planned out. What's so me hurts! My job is to find a way back onto the subject from that, like constantly. That's pretty much how I live my life. Speaking of wet angry shit. Bryce playing the niggles here, everybody. See?

I got it. I did it. I did it. Because you're going to be too pissed if we never make it to the movie. So we get the lovely sit-arts. We're still in the opening notes of this movie. So the sit-arts sound goes, and I want where it's someone's house having dinner. And a guy walks into beg for money to the house. This is the first of those just walking into random.

He just wedges himself on the couch between two people. And he's like, let me get some money. It's really weird. Grab some popcorn. Look at doing this. But the guy, okay, so there's a guy who's kind of running them off. But that guy is acting like, like his girlfriend hasn't noticed this yet, because he's chewing them off, but he's a guy who's kind of running them off, but that guy is acting like, like his girlfriend hasn't noticed this yet,

because he's, she went off, but he's whisper-shoeing. He's like, why'd she go, why'd she go, why'd she go? I'm not giving him. They're having a whisper. Him and the beggar are having a whisper fight in the corner. Can I talk to you in the kitchen, please? I thought you agreed you weren't gonna come in beg today. Well, because Michelle's here and she hates beggars.

Okay, did you cast a shadow on anybody? I'm not talking down to you. This is my normal voice. I'm not raising my voice. How could I be raising my voice? No one else can hear me. If you think I were just have a fight with a beggar for 90 minutes with no intermission,

I am my own lifestyle. 1990s Broadway deep cuts, thank you. Yeah. Yeah, Tennessee Wheel Gums. Wow. We could never get you to show it. You're so good old man with Edward Hogg. So now we get the title of the movie.

This is the part you don't get to see at all. How's your glad you came up? Now I do want to point out though that the title of this movie is a journey to the sky. It really does look like they had no idea as they started typing how many words there were going to be in the end. Like a nine year old road of birthday card journey to this little tiny Y. You get it. On this idea. Exactly.

I also started my movie off of the I started my notes off here with a series of music notes. My first one was that mean old dogs coming back for more. And then this opera voice comes in, I wrote my notes. This is what the lady from fifth element was doing before she hid Jade Eggs in her vagina for Bruce Willis. Because she's just like, AAAAAAAA! It's like the first time you do anal. AAAAAAAA! you do anal? AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH No, my visual note here was I can't see what's happening. I can't see the movie And as you saw you can't see it some of the ant there's a lot of blur filters and darkness that they went with

It's very artistic. Yeah a tremendous amount of my visual notes for this movie are the same thing soldiers say as they die I didn't send them I don't even pay taxes. It's impossible for me to have sent them. You're welcome. And a proudly stand up. Meanwhile back at the restaurant. None of this is in the ship. So okay now here's the weird thing about this move. The way it starts off a beggar he's begging for food and they brush him off or whatever and then the credits play and they follow the beggar as the beggar walks away so you

assume this is a movie about the beggar it's not it's about the guy who shoot him off so we go back to him he's having a conversation with his girlfriend and we're getting an an inordinate amount of exposition for a story that's never gonna fucking matter or yeah, yeah, none of it. None of it will matter. But we learn here that his father has died, and he has to drop out of college, and his girlfriend is comforting him. Mm-hmm.

And I have to say, his girlfriend is the tiniest she is. How would you physically describe this girlfriend? Lucinda if she was in mushroom. Oh, all right. I had her as brown Ari Stillman. Brownie Stillman. Ha! So yeah, and she's telling him, like, you know,

I sure wish your dad didn't die, and I sure wish that you didn't have to move away and drop out of school. And he's like, yeah, I wish for all kinds of shit, ladies, shut up. Maybe we list the things we're not wishing for. It would be simpler. We live in fucking India. Yeah, it's rough.

Maybe we could just be more efficient. We said things. I wish for not more people in this house. I wish for not more people in this house. I wish for medium-collar. It's acute if it was medium, I feel like it happened. Today would have been a better day when I had that job interview at Randall's House. I wish for less clean water. We have moved on to the Flint portion of the evening.

So, and so now he goes home. We're gonna reinforce the whole dead dad thing because when he gets home, mom is tending to the dead dad shrine. But her way of tending to it, yes, please. To put a Hawaiian lay around the picture, it's very festive. I actually like, I want themed graves from now on like a Christmas themed grave. Alright, you know, the little lights. Boy, it's less expensive if you get a baby, they can't tell you you can't have a baby coffin. You can just, it's just like

ordering from the kids manuals the same thing. Do you think? Exactly. Do you think if you have a baby and you order a regular size coffin the guy has a moment where he wants the money But knows he should offer a baby I'm just gonna be rattling around in there. Oh, you got the pot one of the Paul bars takes a step and everyone just feels like shoo It's like one of those sticks you had as a kid just you're Shroom. Pup. Pup. Ha ha ha ha. Shroom. Pup. Pup. It's like one of those sticks you had as a kid. It's your arrow. Ha ha ha.

You know. Ha ha ha. If you're in Texas and you got to do feces it's like a rain stick. Shroom. Ha ha ha. Half a Los Alamos in here. Shroom.

Shroom. No, I mean, that's the law in Texas now. Yeah. But it is. I didn't make a fucking launch. That's the true thing. Depressing you. I apologize.

We did guy. We want to come out and tell you, we actually made that law in Texas. It was a prank. It was a prank. Try, I'm going to drum up business for scathing. You know what? I'm really pissing off.

This will keep them down low. By the way, Eli, why the fuck do we even do rehearsals? I swear. I feel like it's only coming together. I have some hilarity. It surprises me. Please stop. What's the problem?

What kind of surprises? He's holding me hostage for this thing. Please don't. He keeps it right now. He keeps it right now. He's the joke you'll literally never. Please don't. He keeps threatening. He's the joke you'll literally never be exposed to because it wouldn't be funny. Eli keeps threatening to propose to Heath's girlfriend on Heath's behalf.

And he... Don't tell her I said that. So now, Rachel, if you hear that, it's a joke. Heath doesn't particularly like you. He was very lonely after the wedding. He told us he was going to do that. Hopefully, who Man Show is going to do that I thought hopefully who man shows going to be weird ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha So, so anyway, our hero, our hero gets home the mom putting the luau on the dead dad shrine.

And she says, hey son, you, you're, you're, you just got a package from the girl from the last scene. And he's like, that's fucking weird. Why didn't she just give it to me in the last scene? And the movie's like, fuck of I know. The movie becomes self-aware and she's like, oh, you know how shoddy is. She got Amazon Prime and she's just like, oh, why the fuck not? Pre-shipping. That's how they get ya. Her dude dad died. Here's a great book.

It's Etappus Rex. Showed out. Mom looks over. I'm into it. We're through. Cool. Woo. Then we put on something romantic.

Broom! Be gentle, bro! Broom! I would feel entirely confident to do dueling sitars with the greatest sitar player in the world. As long as a non-sitar listener was the judge. Yes, no. Please come down from South Carolina.

You both did real good. Yeah, that's our surprise guest today. Ravi Shukar. Yanyala. The inventor of the sitar. So now he wasn't dead a piss rack, unfortunately. The movie still, they could have gained me back at this point. But instead, it's this book about

uh... sado's sunda sing that's it now yeah no i'm gonna get that's the only time i'm gonna get it right tonight uh... now the movie itself you i forgive you for not knowing this because i have fucking off the rails we've been for a minute one but the movie itself is gonna be about this guy about sunda sing and how he popular

as christianity and india uh... so the movie itself is gonna be about this guy about Sundar singing how he popularized Christianity in India. So the movie needs a clever way to get into it. Their idea for this is, here's a book about the thing this movie is gonna be about. Well, I wish that was not like I'd ever do it. Right, right, yeah. Now that's the only the first attempt they're gonna make at that, but it's not like he just reads the fucking book now. That would be indelicate. This movie? Far beyond that. Yeah, right.

And the inscription to this is like, dear, no no no no no no no no. I do not understand this book. Maybe you will. Love, Shanti. It's really it too. It's like Finnegan's week. But for us And and then we get You made that a racial thing. I meant the two of them. Shame on you. So now you're included in Justin's think piece. I hope you're happy. His blog is scathing.

It's also on Tumblr just so you know it's been retumbled four times. Oh you didn't expect me to get really in there with the deep cuts of the Tumblr lingo. So anyway now we cut to a train. Actually this is such this is the weirdest fucking shot the movie to me because suddenly we see a train and then we're no we're not it's not establishing a shot with a train no one is on this train it will never be on a train it's a jump scare it's just yeah Marquis kill Patrick sees a train coming more quickly than this movie. Oh Marquis kill Patrick is a 13 year old boy who was killed last month by a train than this movie. Oh, Marquis Kilpatrick is a 13 year old boy who was killed last month by a train. Marquis Kilpatrick, ladies and gentlemen. I just bring him out on puppet strings. His family needs the money. They went for the big coffin.

They shouldn't have. I told them. I told them and they were like get out of our home. So the whole thing, I don't like to bring drama to the stage. Or the planned lines or anything. So yeah, so we see this train and look, there's no reason for you not to think this is an establishing job for something that's about to happen from a on a train so we cut from that to a dude uh... like guitar guy at the party or whatever playing i'm dreaming of a white christmas i should put out these are the only white people were gonna see in this movie that was a little indelicate the white christmas come on get me a break that was racist

he's getting interrupted by he's dad there's just a drunk i like i'm dreaming of a white christmas all white if you know what I mean. So my house, my rules. You're like, this is like triggering, but good too. Like in a good way, like it's a good drunk. Cause you got a bike. It's like a fun alcohol.

I get that get a bike. I guess like I'm gonna get a new Nintendo game after this rant, don't I? Come here buddy, you know daddy loves you. You know daddy loves you. He didn't always talk like that, they had the strokes. So I thought that was an accent. Now I feel bad for the imitation I did over here.

I thought he was Swedish. He's a phasian. Yeah, he's a phasian. That's a phasian. That's a phasian. Yeah, he's a phasian. That's a phasian. That's a phasian. Oh, man, I thought that was really as low as the making fun of Heath's dad's stroke that the joke that was going to get. And then Eli made it racist somehow.

They were amazing, dude. You are amazing. He missed my backstage walking him down the aisle bit where we rolled him down the A was really. Ha, ha, ha. Pfft. Ha! Ha! Ha!

Yeah! Because it's sudden. Your dad listens to this show, doesn't he? No, no, he lost a lot of oxygen to his brain. It was so funny. It's... For a while. Not as much as my dad.

Ha! Ha! Ha! Story topped! Ha! Ha! Ha! Guys, my dad story top guys my dad's alive it's just a bit on the show so he's not he's dead no way imagine how tasteless that would be yeah that would be very tasteless y'all are gonna go home and google

I don't know what to believe I really shouldn't eat those brownies I feel like I do a better job usually keeping you on track. So anyway, so this white couple that we haven't met, they're decorating for Christmas. Also, there's a knock on the door. The character from the beginning of the movie that is apparently the main character, who's named by the way, I don't, I never kind of, but everything they said had sounded like they were saying room spring.

I know that's not what they were saying. I'm going to call them room spring. So room springer. I know that's not what they were saying. I'm gonna call them room springer So room springer comes in the room and he's just like hey people in this house You guys you guys hiring Here's how this scene should have gone. Let me read it. He believed you this morning. Yeah Oh, I'm the white guy. Yeah, okay. Hello, Mike. Hello casting do you remember me? You just walked into our house. I'm vaguely. Oh, I'm so sorry. That's how it should go. Yeah.

But instead he's just like, I got one of your Vista print cards. And as you know, that is like a mob marker at this point. Give me employment. But it just so happens that the day he showed up asking for work was Christmas day. Christmas. So he brights, right? So the drunk guy is fucking pissed. He's like, what is this? Some kind of day of giving and charitable ability? Go fuck yourself, man. So they send him packing. And, oh, I have to point this out too, while he's yelling at the headroom spring up, they do this.

This movie's very fond of like the spaghetti, western speed zoom. You know, the shit's about to get real speed zoom. So they do that when he says, do you know what day it is? Christmas. It's amazing. But it's so sloppy. It's like, I think they got the shot by just throwing a camera at that It's amazing. But it's so sloppy.

It's like, I think they got the shot by just throwing a camera at that guy's face. And then they cut it when it was almost there because he was terrified. There is a lot of head throwing in this. Yeah, throwing in his head in this movie. Yeah, no, that would make perfect sense. So that night, they all go to bed at the jobless hostel.

He's in, I feel so white, guilty watching this movie. I don't know. Is that like a hotel in India? I don't know. I don't know why I'm turning to you. Right. I felt the same way. I was like, is this just a house? Is this a bad situation? Is this a palace? Is he gonna be on a game show?

Or write a boat with a tiger? Or nothing else ever in the history of cinema? And everyone else in the little thing is yelling at him to turn out his light. He's got like a candle he's trying to read the Sundar, Sundar, Sundar book. And they're like, turn out the light. I feel like this is the easiest lights out in the history of the world because it's India You just you blow up that candle. There's no fire for 25 miles around until the matches guy comes by next week. You're good You'll see yeah

Wow, yeah, so So everyone else in this little hostel is asking to turn his light off and eventually he gets so angry that he decided okay Again this movie is about the book that he is currently reading the movie has a perfect excuse right now to go What's this story about and then go into that fucking story, but instead he rips up the book and throws it away It's no sense the sound effect is absurd at this point too. Oh yeah, yeah. Brian was involved in this too. I feel like it was Brian's replacement on his first day of sound guy and they're like, dude, a book gut ripped.

And he was like, ah, flips over the whole fully. And he's here every sound is gone. Yeah. Is a tambourine involved in this? In the sound of a tearing book. And I love to, okay, so the next day, the idea here is we're supposed to get a montage of him not being able to get a job, but they only have one guy going, no job,

beer for you, and that's it. And then he just like, did Jack didn't give him up? Well, fuck, man, I went to that guy, white guy's house and the Indian guy's house, and that's pretty much all there is in Bombay, I guess, I have to move on. By the way, that was when the movie was made, man i went to that guy white guys house in the indian guys house and that's pretty much all there is in bombay i guess uh... you have to move on by the way that was able to win the movie was made it was bombay

uh... i'm not just that racist i i bring someone for that so also because he could get a job in a charles murray also one puppet strings. So, we see that he can't get a job. We also see that he's getting kicked out of the jobless hostel for not having a job. That's rough.

Yeah, no shit. Got kicked out of the homeless shelter. It's like getting kicked out of the van down by the river by your river in the van down by the river by your river in the van down by the river. Dude, you owe me like a bunch of bags of dumpster bread. You're not gonna catch off. This is, I can't float you forever. It's weird.

So awkward. I'm gonna stay here. So we get a room to bring her now and he's walking down that the street all dejectedly when all of a sudden Indian Gilligan happens upon him. Or as I call him, Gilligan, which sudden Indian Gilligan happens upon him or as I call him Illigan which is also Gilligan's rap album oh yes uh yeah back and go he retail

no no I'm kidding I'm getting a little faithful ship to all of it so I was in a hospital for a while and they only let you have like three shows. Yeah, they really do. So, now, okay, this is clearly what's happening, okay? If this situation plays out, 9,999 out of 10,000 times, it's... See, I'm just counting on the audience back home at this point. I'm finished. Okay, good. Anyway, the situation plays out very much like this guy that he just ran into wants to make

a gay hooker out of him, right? Right? Yeah, for those who saw this movie, that's totally what you expected, right? Yeah, absolutely. The guys like I think I have a job for you. Let's go into this dark room together. How's your gag reflex? What? Nothing? But then no sex stuff happened. No, I feel like in that situation I'd be offended then no sex stuff happens. No, I feel like in that situation I'd be offended

that I didn't get, it's not that I want to get raped, but I'm saying like, what, all of a sudden I'm not attractive or like it's just a weird rejection. It's like being an altar boy that just served in the church and then left. Ha ha ha ha. You're just in the husky section looking at a mirror. Ha ha ha.

in the Husky section looking at a mirror. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha You know, this is what brought down Milo. How sexy can you make your Eucharist ass just? But it's not a gay hooker situation. No, it's not. Thanks for that masterful transition, Eli. It's about, because I have brownies in me. So yeah, no, we don't get any, we don't get any gay porn. What we get instead is that, this other character, Shashiel is the character's name,

has things he might have a job for room springa that they can go find out about tomorrow, but first he starts rooting through shesheel shit And damned if he doesn't find that same book he ripped up the night before Can you give it some amazing right? I Didn't believe it either welcome to my experience of watching them of it. Oh Yeah so Oh, yeah. So, the guy says he's like, oh, this is, that's an amazing book.

It really changed my life. And, and, and, and, what I'm just pretty, it's like, how did it change your life? He's like, so many ways, so it's changed. I love it. Basically, this is catcher in the rife for brown people. It's what we're learning. It's like, oh, I love that book book really what what do you love about it? It's catcher in the pumpernickel. It's catcher in the pumpernickel. That's a type of bread. It's brown.

Yeah, no, yes, don't look stay with me. All right, only eight people were willing to clap for that joke, but man were they willing to clap. Catcher in the PETA? So, catcher in the Samosa. Catcher in the Samosa played well. This is not getting better. Don't look. Yes, sir.

Their eyes are based on movement. Audiences are like T-Roxes. So now, finally. Now I say finally, we're 40 minutes into this show, we're like 13 minutes into the movie. It's only a 47 minute movie for Vuxing, but... Are we 13 in? Yeah, it's something like that.

Yeah, so because this is the point where the movie starts, right? This is the part where he's like, now I will tell you the story of... Did we really need the backstory? I feel like... No! Like the movie just starts with a guy telling a story and we all panic like, wait, hold on. Who is he fucking right before this? Before he starts telling it like a stranger?

Do we just guess it was fucking it? And also like the story then is not told in a linear way, right, because over and over again we hear him say, from the time he was a young boy, it's like this is a, the chronology in this fucking movie is Trial of Medorian. All right. Kurt Vonnegut fan.

I like both. I like the three of you. Arrest you. Yeah. You know, all right. So yeah, so now we get the story of Sadu Sundrench saying who was very religious, like believe the shit out of those beliefs. Um, and he attended a Christian school when he was a boy.

He was in Christian mind, so that was just the closest school. Which kind of throws a wrench into the story, right? Like, if I were making this story up and let's be real, someone was making this story up, I would be like, look, there's this guy and he was totally a seeker, a Muslim, whatever they are. And then one day he was just like, what if there was a guy named Jesus? a Muslim, whatever they are. And then one day, he was just like,

what if there was a guy named Jesus? Now that's a good story. A better story, yeah. Like when I eventually have kids and go back to Judaism, because there's atheisms of faith and you have to grow it, it's not gonna be as impressive, thank you. It's not gonna be as impressive

of one mom who got brought here. It's like as impressive, thank you. It's not gonna be as impressive, one mom who got brought here is like, fine, thank you! I didn't like the Eucharist joke, but I liked that one, and honey, you're gonna just... Oh, so many tattoos. You have such pretty skin. Did you need a skull? When do you need a picture of a skull, hun?

When were you like, someone like, oh no, is there a skull in the house? And you're like, oh, right here in my tent. I'm so glad your father's dead. Because I hated him. This is the 90 minute bit that Noah just like goes and gets a cigarette during. That you get to experience. Yeah, actually, if you don't mind, I have brownies, I don't need to smoke. So then his mom dies. Yeah, so then his mom dies.

Right before his fourth teeth birthday. And apparently the tradition here is that when someone you love dies, you set them on fire and watch them burn until there's nothing left. Well, I think she died by failing the witch test. Oh, all right. No, that's a big, perfect. He was a witch, son of a bitch. Look at that. It makes it better.

Yes. So yeah, and then Avers Mom died, he rebelled against the Christian faith, which when you think rebellious child, when you think like bad boy, like rebelling against Christian. Yeah, what would you think would be like an example, a cinematic exemplification of that? Um, you become Jewish. Pfft. That would anger.

Oh, that's actually a pretty good answer. I was gonna say book fight. Yes, there we go. That's good. Cause that's his rebellion. We see him and his classmates having a book fight. And look, it doesn't matter, but if you don't watch these movies,

you should watch just this one scene cause the actors are doing a book fight. And look, it doesn't matter, but if you don't watch these movies, you should watch just this one scene, because the actors are doing the book fight, right? And they're book fight, and then the teacher comes in and he's like, ah, stop having the book fight. But one extra throws one extra book and just nails this guy in the back of his, and he just goes down, yes, and it's not in the rest of the movie. Ha ha. Well, and this movie has a couple of these bizarre levels of escalation, right? Like, this movie starts off with, okay, so we're giving the bad boy montage. We go straight from, they threw books around the classroom

to throwing handfuls of cowsh shit into a church while people are praying. That is the next step. And then from there, burning a old testament. Burning a new testament. Yeah, the exactly the worst thing you can do. Which I feel like is not as bad. Like if we walk out of the theater and there's a protestor and he's like, oh, burning diatriribes volume one, available now on Amazon.com. We'll be like, that's a weird way to plug the book. I'm glad you didn't throw shit at us. Yeah, exactly. I wanted them to bring in problem teen Jesus here. Over that, him just like aggressively playing with a butterfly knife for

no reason, or like scratching like I.N.R.I. was here into a desk and getting trouble. I want to see Jesus play the knife game for me. Now that you mentioned it, how are you pretty sweet? Talking back to Joseph, you know my real dad, my real dad's gone. Ha ha. My real dad killed all the canonites. Go to your cross. No! Take this cup from me! So now our lead from every porn.

That's in the book of Mormon Explains the shroud of tour and I think so now okay at this point This is the point where he has this big conversion to Christianity and it happens in the whineiest bicius way Where he threatens to kill himself if God doesn't show himself and tell him which religion he is. He pulls a suicidal girlfriend. Yes! Yes, even in the same tone and everything. God, if you are not yet tonight, I die.

And God's just checking his text and he's like, ah, fuck. I don't want to reward this behavior, but I don't want to text from the EMTs tomorrow. Can you mark that as unread? How you mark it as unread? This is awkward if I can't do that. Oh, she ended it with I love you. I love... Oh.

I'm just going to report this post on Facebook. I'll let Zuckerberg deal with that. So he has this amazing God if you exist, send Nude's moment. He threatens to throw himself in front of a train, but luckily for him, God does exist. God has heard his cries and God chooses to appear before him in the form of a laser pointer. I wanted it so badly to just be teen Jesus, he takes it away, that really burns your cornyus just so you know, go. I'm gonna ride my razor scooter. It's attached to a Roman whip because it's a razor scooter. Ooh, some passion fans in the audience. Some crucifixion deep cuts. Cervonigate crucifixion. Yeah, between the two of them, I kind of prefer Vonnegut,

but hey, you know, he teaches his own. So yeah, so he sees Jesus, Jesus comes up, and this is how literal this dumb fucking movie is. It's like, I am Jesus, I am the light of the world. And it's like, oh, that's why he's a light. Anyway, and you have expected the character to go, I thought that was metaphorical. I don't think that's it. And then, so, so but anyway so Jesus wanders off and he wakes his dad up

He's like dad done. I just saw Jesus and dad reacts exactly like I would minus the fucks Dad's like oh you lost your mind go to sleep. I Feel like his dad was right there. He's just like Fuck my stupid kids gonna commit so is all right Oh Fuck my stupid kids gonna commit so that alright. Oh Let it candle behind a yellow blanket Practicing my white voice I got a point of the way we'll get it gets worse later But Jesus has the whitest voice you can possibly imagine on this movie So okay, so now news spreads quickly all over town about how Saddu suffering sockets, so Jesus and

His dad freaked out his brothers openly persecuted him But just like a montage of the brothers being like happy holidays Wait, what color copper you drinking out of oh red mother fucker Oh, wait, what color cover are you drinking out of? Oh, red, motherfucker. Red. Oh, look at these hottest. I'm so sorry.

I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.

I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.

I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. Ha ha! So, so dad was a good man at the movie, says, but he was a little freaked out about the Christianity thing, so he devised a plan to un-Christian his son. So you guys, when you guys might need this eventually, when your kids goes to Jesus' way, so I'm going to throw it out here for you. This did not work for Sundar's dad, but that's not to say it wouldn't work for you. He writes to a Malaysian college, he says, you have to come home quick, I'm dying. Also, I've ordered you a wife and arranged a marriage for you.

And I have a Jewish mother. That's pretty standard out of the playbook. Ha ha ha. I don't want you to bother yourself. Ha ha ha. But I'm dying. And I ordered you a wife. Ha ha ha.

Hey, hey, you have a Jewish mom. It's amazing. What's happening? He's constantly telling you he's dying and he's trying to set you up with a wife. I'm surprised. I'm surprised that I was the first to notice that. He is so afraid of that joke at all.

A little bit more. Or just what, what guys? I don't like you. Stop. Stop what you're doing. Stop. We had this. This was the, this was the 15 minutes backstage

on the other show. It may just be like, please don't. So while I inserted underwear into my butt, we have the most serious conversation. Anyway, so, so. So serious and great. Sadu's some punks saying refuses to be Christian when we have the most serious conversation. Anyway, so, so- So, serious, engraved. Sadhu's some punks saying refuses to be Christian and his dad disowns him.

Mm-hmm. So, and it says too, it's like, this movie's so often contradicts itself, so it says like, so Sundar set out into the unknown to a friend of his house that he'd been to many times before, who said, if your dad ever kicked you out of the house, you can sleep here. Okay. He gets into the friend's house and he immediately collapses because he's been

poisoned. He's been poisoned by his brothers. Now, I really want to see that scene just like, hey, you guys have been really mean to me lately, but this is my cupcake. Okay. Why you guys keep watching? Nothing. Those look a very person thing of me to do.

I saw up. I had no idea how long I was thing of me to do. Let's know up. I had no idea how long I was going to take to eat. I was thinking I'd go through that by now. So now... Oh, I'm still digested. Oh, you guys go ahead. So now we jump out of the narrative because God knows, ten minutes inside the story,

we all need a fucking break, right? Well, I love to, because Rumi Sring is all worried, right? He's like, Fred Savage going, wait, did she get eaten by the Shrieking Eels or what? Because he's like, he's like, wait, he laid down, what happened? And the brothers like, well, he got,

it was a deadly poison, he's like, so he died? Like, why the fuck would I be telling you this story? If he died, man. Yeah, he died. He just fucking died, go to bed. No, he's like, no, he didn't fucking die. He was a miracle. It was so miraculous, in fact, that the doctor that treated him became a Christian on the

spot. And I feel like that guy had a weird week, right? Just goes, we're in job altogether, yeah. Just goes back, goes home from work. He's like, gets his doctor bag and his dot and then he comes home and he's doesn't have the dot and he's like guess what happened today? We're Christian now. I'm not sure how much changes for you. So now we get, okay, so first of all, now Shesheel has to explain to him. He's like, yeah, it's such an amazing story.

We'll tell you the rest of it later on in the movie. He's just, but you know, it's a an amazing story. I will tell you the rest of it later on in the movie. He says, but, you know, it's a very important story to me. He says, after the Bible, Sundar Singh's story is the most influential in my life. Third is the Red Fern Growth. The fourth is the giver. Oh, you only read the books from school? No.

No. Sixth is Romeo and Juliet. It's so weird to me because my list is all erratic. Who's the boss fan fiction? Oh, that's like where we find out who the boss is. That's such a sexist name for that show. It's obvious who the fucking boss was. It was due to the light.

Uh-huh. Why the fuck was that even a question? I was born in 1987. Fuck light. Duh. Why the fuck was that even a question? I was born in 1987. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Let's hear it for one, uh, fuck a little more when we were kids, huh?

Woo! Yeah. See? Let's hear it for one to fuck a man to bind when you were a kid. Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo!

Let's hear it for one, and then stopping because you felt like she really had some stuff going on But now that she's back you feel like it'd be okay But you're also not sure if she has hepatitis because like that stuff doesn't leave your system Lot of hepatitis cautious people here in Seattle and I'm glad to hear it the amazing thing is he does that in every show But this is the only time I'm gonna leave it in because it really fit in this time. So you kept saying eventually it was gonna fit.

Don't wear condoms. So. So now I know there's someone in this row who I really wanna meet. She's hated the movie with me, she's anti-condom. We are locked right in. Whatever you do, don't turn up the house lights. So, now I know what a lot of you guys are thinking.

It's probably a Heath scroll friend right there. So, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Heath scroll to whom he doesn't have like labels. Little like labels, cells are Seattle. You get it. It's a big one. So, Mishmash. I know a lot of you are thinking to yourself, you know, we know a lot about Christianity,

but how does it affect your comb selling integrity? And we've watched 99 fucking movies trying to find the answer to that question. We finally did. Apparently, it helps. It's very helpful uh... because we now cut to a scene where shashil is gotten room spring of that job and apparently the job is

like hard-selling thirteen cent plastic combs in a drugstore yes yes and what's weird about it is he like we all worked in retail and you can't lie unless it's a magic trick Let me tell you because he's like and they're unbreakable and the guy he's the Indian James Randy's just like Fuck me right yeah What? Is that an issue with coms that they break in half? Do you need to stop?

You've got a very aggressive response to that. One audience member was like, yes! Finally! Just stage-ruses to stage. Finally, I get to talk about this. I have my book on the lobby. It's called the breakable comb. I love that the fucking bald guys like the combs break. What do they do? We're all this little teeth for anyway. So yeah, yes, they do. So yeah yeah so the they walk out so the first we see a room spring a trying to sell the comes is like this comable we have you was a lot of the guys like no one

and then we the other guys like uh... this is a very good com and the guys like yeah by a gross a gross one hundred and forty four retail comb i do not understand the economy in India You put little wax paper through it and the looks of it neither do people in India What they're doing a great job

But this Christian guys just like jumping up and down next to like a glass of red wine and selling a comb guys just like jumping up and down next to like a glass of red wine and selling a comb to a sacrament wine. Oh, it's my look man. You don't actually forget it after you said it. It's just a line that we use. So yeah, so basically they wander outside and he's like, man, how could I be such a good comb salesman like you are? He's like, he got to be more Christian.

He's like, I knew it. I knew it. It's my evil Hindu ways. He's like, it is your evil Hindu ways. So he's like, hmm, if only I knew more about Sadhu Sabarababa to sing, then, oh, then I could be Christian. And he's like, it's funny. You should ask. We had a flashback. So now he jumped, like, literally, that is what we've jumped out of the story for. I shit you not. We only jumped out of the story to see which one of these two characters could sell combs better

in case you were wondering. And now we go back to the actual story of the story, which is where Sadhu, Sabato Hagante Singh had to go to, where did he go? Oh my God, the Ganges River. No, no, no, oh yeah, yeah, yeah. This is the part where he realized that he didn't want American Jesus,

he wanted Indian Jesus. Yeah, which is immediately followed by the whitest Jesus voice in the animals. He's in the woods praying. He's like, God, I need to figure out how to make all the white people care about you. And that's what their heads are like. If that's not what their heads are like, you wouldn't have gotten the joke if their heads are like. If that's not what their heads are like,

you wouldn't have gotten the joke if their heads are... I'll do a thing that doesn't make sense. See, that's not a joke. That's a joke. No, it's not. They get it. So he's like, I need to figure out, and then we get Mitt Romney as the voice over just like

Hey there, Sandu Failories are pushing into Poland. It's like a World War II announcer all the Hit my precious father and I'm talking about your Jesus. Yeah bad guy I'm also okay, so Jesus talks talks to minis white as possible voice and the movie says he set out on the most humble of all ministries bragging about your humility as a thing uh... and it also says that he was the top ranked christian minister

what the f-fair as he purposes where's that wrecking sport what if i was just a bunch of racist white guys with a brown guy at the top. It's a weird. It's like it's like a PGA tour board 15 years ago Or boxing 30 years ago. Yeah, I guess One of the Olympics 45 years ago. Yeah, no, we can keep going back So yeah, so All the people he became Christian and he started ministering to everybody and all the people loved him and the movie literally sells says wherever he goes,

it was all joy and happiness and the people loved him. And then it shows people shoving him and throwing shit at him and says, except those guys pretty much everybody else though. Also, there's this obvious that looks so clearly like vamping for time at this point because they go, he loved the cities and the villages and the countryside. Fuck, that's only 20 minutes. And the townships, the handlets, the unincorporated municipalities. Fuck, anybody got this sorry? I'm gonna read this movie out of a hat?

Spanging against the sides. Oh, I see So that's what their heads I don't honestly you don't even have to explain it Honestly, you could just do that for the next half hour. I think would be good Honestly, you don't even have to explain it. Honestly, you could just do that for the next half hour. I think we'd be good. So this is where he realizes that he needs to carry the gospel all the way into forbidden Tibet. This is also where we learned his nickname. They called him the apostle of the bleeding feet

and the burning heart. Just about to burst. There's a quest for answers on a clenchable verse. They're the whole thing. You're gonna do the burger survivor. It's important. I feel like we needed to short that I actually went for an acronym of it. It comes up to a out of a fat. So the a out of a fat. I think is way better although the bleeding feet does sound kind of metal. So, so now he's skip ahead, up until this point he's been like a young adult,

he had like a Bryce Blankeneggle beard, now he's gone full. Ha ha ha. Hey, Bryce Blankeneggle. He's gone full, Morgan beard. He's like upside down Donald Trump. Ha ha ha. He's next too long for his body.

Ha ha ha. Did you volunteer for the roast fries? Are you okay with that? Good. So, we've caught about how much I like Bryce, but he's never been on the show, and we've been joking about it so much this week in preparing for the episode that now this is when you all hear about it. So, Eli's literally coming up to me and saying, Oh, what we should do is we should invite

Bryce up and like pretend like he's going to be a guest. But then when he comes up, I'll just push him off the stage and throw something at him. And like, no one will get this joke, but you Eli. And he's like, but I'll get it and it'll be fucking funny. I'll enjoy it. So why is it always about them? I say that a lot. That he does. So now we learn about his first of his many great adventures. Oh, for fuck's sake, they literally say, you know, like he had all these amazing adventures almost beyond belief. This is adventure number one. This is the adventure of the shepherds and the thieves. Okay, just real quick. That's a weird labor guild. The shepherds and the thieves,

I found some falconers and rapists in a group. The falconers, you guys can just step out for a minute. Let's talk with everybody else. I'm going to minister. It's the union of the shepherds and thieves. Today's old business is sheep are hard to keep in one place. And again, who took my wallet? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. We will be addressing item two first. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. No questions asked, every close their eyes.

What's up? Including the sheep. Including the sheep. Yeah, we have some falconers and rapists coming in later. They're gonna need an amity. They have an amity. They have an amity. They have an amity.

They have an amity. They have an amity. They have an amity. They have an amity. That's what I was fond of. Yeah. That's what I was fond of. That's what I was fond of.

That's what I was fond of. That's what I was fond of. That's what I was fond of. That's what I was fond of. That's what I was fond of. That's what I was fond of. That's what I was fond of. That's what I was fond of. That's what I was fond of. against that. So if you don't get that joke, it's because you didn't come to fucking platinum night, you can't blame me for that. So yeah, there we go. So by the way, and this is that they literally they sell this as his big adventure, and this is literally what happens. He's sitting by a campfire one night, someone hits him with the head with a stick, and later he wakes up. Adventure. Adventure cut. That's it. But they keep saying and and cut

that's it and they keep saying like but for some reason they didn't kill them miracle no i mean everyone i've ever met not didn't kill me that's not a fucking i mean there's a couple of them where as a fucking miracle but mostly it's not a miracle that was a large baby on that airplane. It as funny. But you don't. Wow. This is where six hours of our lives is a baby Eli with an ed hearty shirt right behind Noah. Do you imagine how bad it is to have this body? I live inside this.

It's like carrying a mattress all the time. This is a weird Casper ad. We've gotten really complicated with these at this point. I fit in a box, too. On my birthday. You're back. He's your back. He's your back. He's your back.

He's your back. He's your back. He's your back. He's your back. He's your back. He's your back. He's your back. He's your back.

He's your back. He's your back. He's your back. He's your back. He didn't get you that was a suicide joke people. I don't don't encourage him Everyone from this section has to go I'm sorry. I Make a lot of money off this guy So winners here everybody So, waiters here, everybody. Oh, so nervous, Eli said he's had to read his notes off his phone. I'm like, you're going to be fighting with Peter Bungozion on God, damn, night, arches. So, okay, so this... I gave him one idea. Since you mentioned him.

So, anyway, so he's had, he's, I was adventure trying to head over the Himalayas to bat, but a bunch of people hit him with a stick, so he comes back. I love the way the movie says this, like he kept going over the mountains, but no matter what it would happen, he would always come back to India

because he loved it so much. Had nothing to do with the fact that he was pushing out every time somebody threw a rocket his head. And speaking of rocks being thrown, oh my god. We now get to one of my favorite scenes. We actually pulled this clip for you guys. This is so amazing.

Can we show this clip of him getting hit in the face with a rock? Oh here he is. No, is that it? Yeah, this is it. Oh, this is amazing. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Okay. So yeah, so he occasionally got hit by one of those delayed reaction unconscious rocks. It's amazing. I love that scene so much. And the transition out of this is, okay, so not all the people liked him, but all the

animals did and i wanted so badly for it to cut to a scene of a monkey just huck in a rock and it's a lizard just and and i love this bit to because they hint around at something that apparently really happened to this guy that they don't talk about the movie, because they say something about how he says he realized that people couldn't have their Christianity, or that people in India didn't either Christianity out of a Western cup, but in Eastern bowl, you see.

So yeah, I could use a bowl too, but I mean, that says nothing to do with this, but apparently what really happened, what brought this guy to this realization is that it was on a train one time and a holy man, an Indian holy man passed out from dehydration or like, you know, started to freak out or whatever.

And so some Western guy comes up and says, here, have some water and they're like, no, I can only drink out of my holy bowl because I'm a holy man and they guys like, you're fucking crazy, then never mind. And then this guy's reaction was, yeah, we need to put Christianity in one of those bowls, don't we? Not like we need to learn to drink out of whatever fucking

receptacle has water in it when we're dying a thirst. But no, but yeah, no, we're gonna need more than bowls. We're gonna learn to water bend the blood of Christ to the people's mouths in a karate uniform. Makes you wonder how IVs work in India. They like started like one of those charity things at the Science Museum. Just wait for it.

And he died a shock. We gotta start doing this stuff in cups. Ha ha ha. I was always bad at those and I would just slide the penny down the side. I don't understand how sorry it's works. I will defund this museum when I grow up. I will. I'll take your museums away from you. If I want to learn about science, I'll pace someone to teach me. He won't pay anyone to teach him.

I know. So, I don't want to learn about science. So now it's time for a, but damn, did the animals respect his Christianity montage? So like, we have this whole thing about like, how it eventually admits like, yeah, so the people didn't much care for him, but the elephants though,

whoo! They were like, man, he is so pious. The only people they couldn't interview. Yeah right, right. Just one of those documentary shots like making a murderer. Actually, woo! He was an asshole. Also this is where we get this amazing fucking shot. I love this so much where they have to show that like him taming a leopard in the wild

but they're not going to get this actor any closer to a leopard than like the same continent So we keep seeing like leopard human human leopard all like both walking towards each other different seasons Different times a day. It's not yes, yes, and then they zoom in on it's not even a leopard and it's like Noah's cat It's like a close up and Noah's cat and a white guy's hand. Just like, yes. With Sharpie on it, just like, no.

Look at my butt hole. Look at my butt holes. So. So with the knowledge that it can never get as good as the Jaguar leopard petting scene again, we're gonna pause for a quick break, but first, give back three of the hard sell. Should I have stopped the two brownies you think? Let me go. Did the blood vessels in my ears sound loud to you guys too?

Oh fuck what we just talking about. Find out the answers to these questions and more will be returned for the heat just kind of dies conclusion of journey to the sky. I have this hilarious story to tell you guys, maybe, who likes pranks? Well, Bryce might have got me good. We're all going to find out together. I always said was that the brownies were vegan. You were supposed to assume there was wheat in them, bro. I did not. See our dear friend Bryce made some brownies.

And in them, he said, Eli, friendly. And Eli loves brownies. Some big fat person. Remember when I took my shirt off to be the baby? And then... Oh Jesus Christ look at how many of those you ate. Some big fat person, remember when I took my shirt off to be the baby? Then... Oh Jesus Christ look at how many of those you ate. And then... Oh my God dude!

And then he told Noah... Watch out for the ones with the holes in them. This one has a hole in it. But I don't know how many of those had holes in them. And the human doesn't smoke weed as often as the character. I'm so happy. So we get through this shit the fuck up. Yeah. And if anyone sees Bryce Blanconagle, kill him. Ha ha ha ha.

This is going to be interesting. We have. Oh, the fact that we're about four minutes after the intermission and we haven't started yet, that tells me a lot of those head holes in them. Let's, that's my guess. Let me ask you a question, is this salty in here? My muscles feel great. That's how I wanted to spend my weekend. It's fine.

Go! We're at a time when it all said, alright. It's like Batman's stopping to talk to Commissioner Gordon with a bomb on a fucking plane. Shoot him a fucking text. PS, I'm Bruce Wayne. I can hear my heart. You, you sure you want me to get on? And we're back for more of this shit. and we're back for more of this yet and given up on this yet. Now, when we last left our hero, his fame was spreading across India, which you could tell by how many people threw shit at him everywhere he went.

This is also, this is where he travels the world to give everyone his wisdom. He goes to England, he goes to America, that's it, that's the world. He got some huge audiences. He's like Dave Rubin of the Seeks. All of a sudden, he's crushing it. And the answers to the questions he gives in this little Q&A section are marvelous because they reveal so much how racist the question is.

Yes. And then all of the answers are this, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, no, my friend, I have never eaten human flesh. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. So that's the whole theme of the thing, right? So they keep showing you the answers without letting you know what the questions are. And guess the question is amazing. And this is like every answer starts with a huge tick.

Like, is it like, is it explaining Battlestar Galactic to me at Comic Con? That's not how the universe does not even make any sense. So yeah, like and as all his answers are stuff like, no, these are actually the clothes I wear on purpose, you see. And one of them was actually, I shit, you know, the last answer he gives is, I have met people in India that are every bit as nice as Western people. So that's literally like, okay, what was the fucking question? And also, why was the hedging his bets? Because basically, all he said was the best people in India are as good as the average people here.

It seemed weird. I mean, it seems like something to you, I would say, but I mean, he was, anyway, this is their movie. So we close out this montage of him being wise and we move on to him praying that God will stop letting people be dumb enough to disagree with him. We get another face zoom too. Yeah.

This time he flinches, they definitely threw the camera at him. He's like, ha ha ha! When the fleet... No, no, no, not after the rocks, sena-med. Ha ha ha ha! Eyes on you. Seeking you shall find... Yeah.

Ha ha ha ha! Puns wall high? Yeah! That's how much faster my brain works! Yeah. PUNSWALL, hi? Yeah! That's how much faster my brain works. I'm Keats! I'm fucking Keats! I'm gonna put a hole right here out here, September 26th. Jesus Christ.

Shouldn't it give me drugs? Don't blame me for anything that happens. Act 2 onwards. So Morgan, just if you were, if you're on the zero second delay, there if need be. So, so okay, so he comes back to India because fuck America and England and everything. They only had so much money to shoot there. Actually, they didn't shoot there at all. They just used like still shots of big pen and shit with him talking over top. It was amazing. So he decides he's still got to go

to Tibet. So he climbs the Himalayas over and over again. I feel like you could do that once. I don't know. But it's during this time that he has his greatest adventures. So this is where we get adventure number two. This will be there are three, I guess adventures in this movie in this adventure He was thrown into prison for being Not in prison I guess And in the prison was a guy in need of a recal Yeah, he's just he's coughing like Morgan our sound guy just

If you hang out with Morgan a lot, that's much funnier. He's very coffee. So, short. So check him out on the way out. It's like, he's not sure enough that you're like, oh, does he got a thing? But he's sure enough that you're like, what the hell dude?

Like, you feel like you can say whatever you want, cause what's he gonna do? Fight you? Ha ha ha. I feel like tonight he can fight you. I'm just sure. Just throwing that out. He has mastery of space and time.

Ha ha. Probably can also feel his lips. I can feel your lips. If I asked to chew you after the show, I apologize. can feel your lips. If I have to chew you after the show, I apologize. So you've, you normally don't apologize. So that's good. That's good. We should give you a weed more often. Um, so, so he's in this prison. There's this guy coffin and he's like, you know what? I'm gonna give this motherfucker a blanket. I mean, I'm the only one in this prison with a fucking blanket. So it sort of seems like the least I could do.

And all the prison guards are so freaked out. They're like, man, why'd you give the guy the blanket? He goes Christian. That's why. And so all the prison guards became Christian. Now, of course, this pissed off, like the ruling people or whatever, who decided to cart him off to the market to get tortured and they They say they're like yeah, he got tortured for a long time, but boy could he take it He didn't react at all and I'm like I'm watching him react and he's also he's supposed to be enlaged But he's in a paddling position and he's really into it. He's just like He's really into it. He's just like, ugh.

Ugh. Ugh. Ugh. And he's just eyeing the camera, and you're like, this was not a punishment for anybody. Everybody was on board. They were next to us at the platinum night.

So he was, he was apparently so good at being tortured that they decided to let him go. Thinking perhaps that he was a God according to the narrator. Which to be fair, that is all the Christian God is known for is getting tortured. That's true. That's true. And giving you the ability to sell combs really well. Winning the zero for flinching game. That's what Jesus is known for.

Let him go. So now he finally gets to Tibet, where he immediately makes friends. And the first scene we see is this guy with this little girl on his lap being super touchy. I'm thinking to myself, you know what? That is why Eli scaled him out and to get to Tibet as well.

That's right. What do you think happened to the little llama in the nineteen nineties they tried to replace the dolly llama with a child the chinese government killed that child that's what that's a reference to it's not illegal for us to pretend that yeah no you're good is that kid alive? ladies and gentlemen the little Lama!

Oh! Oh! He just comes out, but he's old. G.G. Alland out, because no one's heard of him in a while. And just, it's needles hanging off him. Spits on you. Would you let the Dalai Lama spit in your mouth? Just for the story.

The kind of shit that occurs to Eli when he's high. So take a talk I would. I would. Thank you two votes. So check out our new podcast spitting. Drink and spit with him. Drink and spit with he. Ha ha ha ha ha. Ha. Drinking spit.

I bet you audible fucking sponsor that one. Ha ha ha ha. We'll find out. Yeah. So now, according to the movie, resistance stiffened against his witness. I only said that because I did such a sexy sounding ascendance, resistance stiffened against his witness.

But it's okay, his friends had his back every time someone would roll him in a rug down a hill. They would pick him up. It's the dumbest punishment, right? It's a rug toboggan. It looks fun. Yes, he's just like we Understand So weird punishment. Yes, his persecution in this movie is less traumatic than me trying out for little league

It's like honestly in a certain way you'll find me fair. That was last week Get the fuck out of my way Denny-nny-nny-nny-nny-nny-nny-nny-nny-nny-nny-nny-nny-nny-nny-nny-nny-nny-nny-nny-nny-nny-nny-nny-nny-nny-nny-nny-nny-nny-nny-nny-nny-nny-nny-nny-nny-nny-nny-nny-nny-nny-nny-nny-nny-nny-nny-nny-nny-nny-nny-nny-nny-nny-nny-nny-nny-nny-nny-nny-nny-nny-nny-nny-nny-nny-ny-nny-nny-nny-nny-nny-nny-nny-nny-nny-nny-nny-nny-nny-nny-nny-nny-nny-nny-nny-nny-ny-nny-nny-nny-nny-nny-nny-nny-nny-nny-nny-nny-nny-nny-nny-nny-nny-nny-nny-nny-nny-nny-nny-nny-nny-nny-nny-nny-nny-nny-nny-nny-nny-nny-nny-nny-nny Get the fuck out of my way! Dennin' in it, dennin' in there! Home run, fucker! Dude, I still feel like they shouldn't have rolled me down that fucking rug and that hill. Hill and that rug, rug and that... I don't feel like the drugs and the hill either. You guys are talking weird in the time dimension. Where do you think you are?

So, also, this is another... Is anyone seen bright? Hahaha. Keep going, don't worry, I'm fine. Yeah, no, no, we'll be. Hahaha. Pitted death. Hahaha. Pretty didn't know. Do you want to speed up the table?

Hahaha. Pitted up. I didn't know. Dude, I spayed up on the table. Pitted up. Spank the shit. Yeah, why the fuck not? So in another one of these amazing... That was... Not gonna work out.

No. I'm really trying not to convey how terribly that went. For the inside. Why don't you breathe for a sea life? Fff. So anyway, in another case... Remember when he was... I remember when he was... I'm not even that long, I did it the live show. Yeah? I've got to tell you, honey, I didn't like the joke,

and then I liked the joke about changing back, and then he threw up. This is a radio show you listen to. All right, so if we don't do the Q&A, it's all Bryce's fault. I just want to point that out. Subscribe, yeah, absolutely. Let's mix it up.

Yeah. Yeah, some burp-it-you-it-sting-o with that. Jesus. All right, so now we get another case of like, breakneck escalation of this movie, because here's the twarchers we've seen so far. They hit him with a stick. They roll him down a hill. Put him in a refrigerator box.

Yeah, right. And then they throw him into the pit of death. That's the next fucking step is pit of death. Now I should say pit of death doesn't really live up to the billing. No one dies. Just a hole. This is a hole. Could be the well of death. Or it could just be the well of underground.

It has light fixtures. Right, the pit of death, they were like fluorescent or track. We've all lived in Manhattan apartments, so we probably have a different approach to the pit of death than most people. I was like, oh no shared bathroom. Yeah. Hello.

If it's not in Brooklyn, I'm in. Well, I love that they're like, you know, they're like, oh, look how evil and disgusting it is. There's rats in here. I'm like, there's, we have those in this theater. No, I'm kidding. They don't have rats in this theater. They have mice.

Little mice. But they're adorable, so it's okay. Some fans of Amanda Bines and Mice and our audience. What is Amanda Bines doing with the mice? Explain that one to him. Cookin' brum and win. So, would you drink Amanda Bines' spit? Okay so we're moving if the Dalilama Promise you you could fucking afterwards

So he's in the pit of death so he's in the pit of death there's rats in their snakes Just chilling and they're like yeah, they're they're not doing anything They're like at the end of a shift. They're like I I got cut and I'm not taking more tables I already cashed out He's taking the tools down from the table. Can I sit here? No. No.

You guys are doing desserts, still, right? We're absolutely not doing any of that. Woo! You can shoot three knots. Nope. Thank God it's Friday, right? Thank you. You're Steve.

Thank God. So he thanks God for putting him in the pit of death. He explains to God that he's a real big fan of suffering You know for Jesus and everything, but he does he points out he's like, you know, I mean, but if I die in this pit God I gotta stop suffering. So So Jesus rescues him. Yes, Jesus does rescue him speaking to Jesus. I don't know if you guys realize, but he is joining us today Right from the very back. Oh, there's a red dot. Oh, yeah, if you saw the movie you guys realize but he is joining us today, right from the very back. All is a red dot. Oh yeah, that was.

If you saw the movie, that's like, but for the rescue scene, they, he gets this rope lower down, right? Yes. The plan was obviously to shoot this actor being lifted via rope. But it doesn't work. No, because we see like three seconds of him like,

I'm like, ow, him like ow ow ow ow cuts away he's at the top of the petty just like angrily staring off camera what what's supposed to be happening does the pit of death have an end time it's like a new guy it's just like oh do I lower it

and then you bring me yeah I felt like now fuck that we was just supposed to be the lotion on that wasn't it god Damn it I'm gonna get you lotion while you're up here. No, we'll do it late. Well, I don't want to leave the lotion here I'll get in the bag. I'll go back down after you just bring me up. We'll do the lotion after I'll take you to the pit of lotion cool One how many square feet In the pit of lotion. That sounds like a pretty awesome fit, actually. I can use that.

All right, so he gets pulled up to the top of the pit of death. And he says, and he looked around to thank whoever had rescued him, but no one was there. It must have been Jesus. And this is the best clip of the entire film. We have the explanation here. Oh yeah, yeah, let me set this one up real quick. So he escapes from the pit of death,

doesn't know how he got out. He's pretty convinced Jesus did it. And then the guards catch him later and they take him before the llama. And they tell him, he says, they say to him, how did you get out of the pit of death? And he says, because God is like, woohoo.

And then we get this explanation of how impossible this could be and back if you don't mind we've got a we've got a lovely clip here of my favorite line in the history of film there was only one cheese only one cheese Also two keys There was only one key and also It's other one key over here Did they not have the budget to take the Sack of the law?

Some guy they didn't have time to pay him to be like Oh that's two fuck you then I'm gonna say it twice for no reason that it's one. I'm not losing one of my keys for your fucking moving. Ha ha ha. Real quick, has anyone seen Bryce? Ha ha ha ha. Oh he's here.

Nope, all right. By the way that was Bryce just telling you no I can... So quick question. The vegan ones. They're good? All right, well this is just who I am then. That's upsetting. That's weird, right? You guys haven't been living my internal life, but I've just been like,

make it through the show for the people! That's just who I am. So, the running was just what he wanted to do with himself. So, oh, wait, are we doing, are we doing prophecy? Oh, wait, are we doing, are we doing prophecy? Yup, the three of us are now going to perch on our chairs. If you push Heathoff his chair, you can have all of my portrayal on him for the next 12 years, because he'll die. I can have all of his, dude, awesome.

Everybody wins. So he gets out of the pit of death, and now we have the weirdest ending to a movie I can have all of his, too, then. Awesome. Everybody wins. So he gets out of the pit of death, and now we have the weirdest ending to a movie I can't move. We have the weirdest ending to a movie. This is what my legs are like forever now. We have the weirdest ending to a movie ever, because he's like, I made it out of the pit of death. And then in 1929, he went back to the Himalayas and Well, it's now and nobody's seen him lately And they try to put a positive spin behind like his body got eaten by dogs to Perhaps his mission completed he was allowed to complete his...

Yeah, turn, it all, like that's how you know you've got a masterfully written movie, when it all just kind of comes together like that. And the story within a story, we're about to wrap it. Oh yeah, now so here's the thing, okay. So you guys forgot about that. Don't pretend you didn't forget about the story within a story. So now you may be thinking here,

so wow, that's kind of disappointing is the end of this movie actually just, and then he went off into mountains and, I don't probably die or something, but it's actually even more bizarre than that because yes, now we have to go back to Shashiel telling this story to Rumspringham. And Rumspring is trying to be nice. He's like, no, that was a great

story, man. What a I did not expect that ending. I guess. And he's like, he's like, you know, every word of it is true. And he's like, yeah, because you don't even know what the fuck happened like, like you would be lying to me about you not knowing what the fuck happened. So he's like, you know, you and I though we couldn't live our lives like that. We just aren't Christian enough, are we? Oh yeah.

Oh yeah. Come check this out. You see that nice house? So yeah, so Shashiel takes him to this, to the, he's like, I have to show you something before you go. And they go to this big house with my standards in it. It's like me and heathes play Basically, but this is giant house by their standards. It's a box fort made of coms

Some combie wants Comie 2012. So remember how quickly we forgot about that guy with child soldiers? Yeah, you forgot too. And now he lies brought it up so you can remember it again. You know when you have the Brownie excuse, everything made more sense. Oh, it's just too well. So now, Roomspring, he sees the house and he goes, Oh my God, is that your house that you were kicked out of for being so Christian?

And the guy in your shoe goes, that's exactly how the fuck did you know? I'm a Christian now too. Yeah. I also want to not be able to live in a house that big. What? And movie. Literally, that's the end of the movie. not be able to live in a house that big and movie literally that's the end of the movie

ray e-light made it all the way through i didn't i didn't win the bet but that's okay so obviously watching this shit whole of the movie was the worst thing about our trip to Seattle. It was close to not being though if Eliad eat in the wrong brownies. So I want you to imagine a world though where this was not the worst thing that happened to us.

I want you to tell the audience what you think would have had to happen on this trip in order for this movie to be the second worst thing that happened to us. Oh, okay. I'm going to say if Noah murdered two babies on the plane but did not get away with it. Oh, yeah. Gotcha.

Yeah, no, that would have definitely sucked more. Babies are the worst. I'm going to go with you go across the country and away from your wife for night. And one of your comedy partners is like, I got this really funny bit, where I'll pretend to eat pop brownies and then the guy who brings the brownies also brings vegan ones for you. And you're starving. So you'd have a plate and they're filled with narcotics. And then you can't see anything but your own pupils for the rest of the night and you're just praying that they're laughing with you, not a- You think that would have been a bad experience?

That would have been worse. Or brunch with Rachel's friend. You guys weren't there, but it was hilarious. Yeah, I think she is here though, so like- Woo-woo! Alright, so normally we don't do this bit during live shows. But it just so happens that this episode that we're recording right now is episode 99. We have a very special movie.

This is a movie that we've been holding on to for a long time, so just to be official. While that does it for our review of Journey to the Sky, that's not going to do it for the episode just yet because we still need to get you excited about the three digit episode so Eli tell us what's on deck Bible man we are very very excited about Bible man everybody still on Noah just do a hyal right now, right? That was not a hyal. I was flying like Bible, man. We're trying to get some of those Twitter frogs back on our side. Ha ha ha!

What's the deal with gender studies? Ha ha ha ha! I would like $47,000 a month on Patreon. Psh! That was the trans guy, not the gender studies. They're all the same. Ha ha! on Patreon. That was the trans guy, not the gender studies. They're all the same. Fearful white men.

Every generation has one and they never get punished unless we band together. I mean, I never got a great way to wrap this up. Never mind. So with that to look forward to, we're going gonna bring up episode 99 to a merciful close once again Huge thanks to our audio engineer Morgan Clark came across four fucking times Those to help us out today big round of applause for Morgan Also want to offer a big thanks to Becca and Justin with the Broadway performance off for all the hard their help tonight And I want to offer any specially huge things thanks i think he's somewhere in this area

george from the cial atheist and incredible job health is out so much to the the this entire weekend this entire show would have not been possible without george thank you so much i think you're somewhere in this area if you're not and like george thank you so much george big round of applause for George. Literally, we could not have done this without him.

I also want to thank all the voters in Washington State for your awesome laws. Anna, Anna, thanks to all of you for coming out tonight, and on that note, we'll leave you with a breakfast club close. Paul Ryan saw a woman's shoulder and went into a frenzy of uncontrollable sexual violence. I wonder what Lucinda will talk about this week. Rumi Springer went on to be a very successful comb salesman. Eli took an Uber immediately to the hotel and spent the rest of the weekend staring at the veins in his hands. Thank you so much Seattle!

Hi, you must be Heath and Eli. Hello. Hi. Really excited to show you the place. I know you're gonna love it. Yeah, it's beautiful. Hmm. Yep, three bedrooms, an office and...

Ta-da! What's that? It's a pit of death! I'm sorry, a pit of death? Yeah, yeah, in case any Christians come by you can just throw in there and And call the pit of death for nothing. Oh, that's convenient I guess neat How many entrances does it have just the one? Oh good. Yeah, yeah, that's perfect You don't want people sneaking out the back that is so important with a pit of death

Yeah, mm-hmm, and and how keys? Just the one and just the one. We'll take it. Ooh, a snake! The preceding podcast was a production of Buzz on a Thunderstorm LLC copyright 2017 all rights reserved