Going Deep with Chad and JT - DRAFT - BEST SCHOOL MOMENTS with JOEY AVERY & STRIDER

Episode Date: March 25, 2026

Today we are joined by the legend Joey Avery and the TDART T-REX Strider Wilson to DRAFT - The BEST SCHOOL MOMENTS. This time period is crucial to the development of your frontal lobe and some memories you may NEVER forget. Chad starts us off HOT diving deep into nostalgia and sets the tone but some of the best picks come late rounds once the bros start remembering the classic moments of childhood. We have a LIVE chat vote and also call Mr. Cream aka Aaron for the ultimate judgment. #chadandjt #goingdeepwithchadandjt #draft #mountrushmore  Check out Joey's NEW SPEC: https://youtu.be/t4xlXat3ck4?si=mv_qcjDnNtQiXaxO We are live streaming a fully unedited version of the pod on Twitch, if you want to chat with us while we're recording, follow here: https://www.twitch.tv/chadandjtgodeep Grab some dank merch here:https://appreeshapparel.com/ Come see us on Tour! Get your tix - http://www.chadandjt.com TEXT OR CALL the hotline with your issue or question: 323-418-2019(Start with where you're from and name for best possible advice) Check out the reddit for some dank convo: https://www.reddit.com/r/ChadGoesDeep/ Here is the Total Draft Standings: (s/o HandA on reddit)Chad: 14 wins JT: 13 wins Strider: 16 wins Chris Parr: 13 winsBrad Fuller: 2 wins (The Ultimate Champ)Joe Marrese: 1 winKevin Fard: 0 wins  Thanks to our Sponsors: BLUECHEW - GET ROCK HARD TODAY WITH THE BEST WINGMAN, Bluechew. Visit https://www.bluechew.com and use code GODEEP for 10% off! PRODUCTION & EDITS BY: Jake Rohret

What's up Stokers of Stoke's? This is Chad Kroger coming. Just Chad, just Chad, just Chad coming in with the Going Deepa podcast. I'm dropping the Kroger. Litigation? No,

I'm just, you know, I'm like, I'm separate. That time is done. Yeah. It's time to separate. We're here with my compadre, John Thomas, whatever.

Boom, clap, Stokers. And the, the Titan of Taint. Strider Wilson. One up. You're with the legend, Joey Avery. It's great to be here, guys. I got a new special out.

Yes. Line from San Francisco out on YouTube. I appreciate you not making me wait till the end to do a plug. But yeah, first debut special, Joey Avery Live in San Francisco. It's out free on YouTube. Very pumped on it. He's a hilarious guys. Great joke writer.

He's got great charisma too. It's a rare combo. Go check it out, guys. Yeah, give it a look. It's fun. It's free. It's my life's work. And the Don't Tell guy shot it?

It's not a Don't Tell special. I did it with my friend Tim Young, who comes on the road with me. And then we brought in Kyle, who started Don't Tell is a great friend. And he came in and helped direct it. And so we brought in like some don't tell people, but quite frankly, couldn't afford the full package. So he got about 50%, which was perfect. That looks great. It looks amazing.

I'm very proud of how it came out. Oh, San Francisco. But we're in San Francisco. Punchline. San Francisco, which is my home club. And like, you know, once that date was on the calendar, I was like, I could think of no better place to do it. And I'm such a

hometown slut, you know? Those are your people. Yeah, it's great. And like the murals already painted. It looks like a cool backdrop. Yeah. And it's tough to do, I think the toughest thing, and maybe we'll all agree, is performing in front of people you know. Like, that first show

when you got a call in the favor is like, come out, it's a big night for me. Like, and you're like, fuck, let me get this one out of the way. And then when it's like strangers did you feel looser and like let's go like it's hard performing at home it's very hard and i've been doing it forever because i always do a hometown show in san Jose every christmas and it's like so fun because everyone's there and we can do an after party and i'm all about the after party yeah but then the show is about to hit and i'm like why the fuck do i do this to myself yes yes but yeah this was it was it was great actually most of my people came to the fourth show of the weekend's nice

um and i ended up just doing that one fully improvised so it was like like jokes they hadn't seen and stuff like that but that's awesome i had to like i had some stuff about my parents in this one and i kind of had to be like hey maybe you guys shouldn't come and my mom was not pumped how hard did you get after um well at the time they were going through uh like i think it's called a silver divorce or something whatever happens when you're old and try to get just kind of over it you're like yeah and so i talked about that and uh yeah my mom was not pumped about that and then my dad ended up uh dying after that you're just kind of uh dying after for that. So sorry.

Not my fault. Not my fault. No, he didn't care. He was chilling. A lot of contributing fat. I told my parents, I was like, my dad got mad at me for like squealing on him about something. He did way back in the day to like his girlfriend's daughter or something. He was like, you motherfucker. I was like, you know what?

My dad does that shit all the time, so I didn't feel like horrible, but I was wrong. And I came with the new policy. I'm like, look, if I saw it happen, I'm allowed to talk about it. All right. If I didn't see it, it's not my business. It's a, it's a tough thing when you've got like stuff, very personal stuff going on. Yeah. And I try to ride a delicate balance and make sure that it, you know, it all makes sense.

But it's still not fun to just hear like, just so you know, I'm going to be talking about you and in public. No, someone else did it to me. I freaked the fuck out. Oh yeah. That's why I got into this thing. So I'd be the one holding. You get like one negative comment.

You're like, keep my name out of your fucking mouth. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Cool. What's the comment you had, quote you have about. hometown stuff, profit? Oh, yeah, you're a profit everywhere except for your hometown.

Just forget who said that, but it's like people you grow up with know you and have a perceived notion of you. Or like, I've got a lot of siblings and like if I'm doing comedy or reaching out, like even if I buy a new jacket, my brothers will be like, what the fuck is that? Like, what are you doing? You don't wear jackets. And you got out of your little bro when he got a subscription to Esquire magazine. Hated it.

What are you a wannabe? It's not us. What are you a wannabe lawyer? Yeah. He's Laurenna. Is he really serious? He was. Yeah, he was.

He became a mess wire. He did. He got all sick watches, dude. I remember when my brother started watching revenge on Fox, I was like, we don't watch shit like that. What are you watching this, man? It's very upsetting. Well, this is good nostalgic

because today, guys, we're going way back. It's nostalgic heavy. We're going to draft the best school moments. So these are rites of passage, rituals, the top marks, the coolest shit that can happen

when you're coming up K through 12 these are the top moments and all right so to figure out what our order is we do odds or evens are you familiar with this game odds or evens you throw out a one or a two do I do it secretly you go behind your back and then you throw it out like you're shooting

all right let's see if you one two three shoot oh I'm last whoa it could be good you know what you picked that up quick most people it takes a couple of trials I've been around the block a couple times you've talking out with dudes before one two three shoot

Okay. Oh, now paper, rock scissors for the first. Okay. You might get the first big, Joey. Oh, shoot, sorry. Damn, I was on too hot

of a street. But you didn't even call yourself quickly there. That's still impressive. No, you don't, because now it's a whole different game. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot. Fuck.

I thought it was high school moments, but it's any school moments. You know what? I think it's going to be high school, sorry. I mean, I could do. Or did you go all the way, Chad? I was thinking mostly high school. Okay, copy, copy.

What'd you do? I did everything in college, but I can do everything. Let's do everything. Sorry, Joey. No, it doesn't matter. That's okay. A lot of these are evergreen. But mine are going to be a little high school slanted, but I can, you know.

And mine are two. And mine are too. And Chad, Chad's on a hot streak. He's won two in a row. He's been, he's been picking very well. You can't gas me up like, wait. How do you win? Pressure's on.

We have, oh, we're right. We have a judge calling at the end. Oh, good. And then we put a polls at the, at the, I can, yes, we'll do Aaron. He's a beast. Yeah. Last time I really screwed up, Joy, and we drafted best things about being a dude. And I drafted first overall, and I didn't take Wiener.

I heard that. I think you went with the code, right? Yeah, yeah, you went with the code. And then you tried to turn it into just swords. Yes. Which is so close to penis. You could have just hung in the pocket. Dude, exactly.

You were like slowly getting close to. You even said sword fights. Just closer and closer to dog. Yeah Yeah I think you're going to bring the heat right now bro I tell him

I feel decent about it He's good He's locked in You get it All right My first pick It's what the samurai Do

No I'm just kidding Um Vishiko code Um History class I mean I I'm just gonna Okay

Your first makeout Oh nice Your first makeout I mean Yeah I remember That was sick Yeah

dude I mean, you're thinking about it. You're growing up, you start to get boners. You start to enter puberty. You know, the dong is working. You see the ladies, you're like, I don't even know what game is. I don't even know how to talk to. How old was I?

Man, I think it was six. Yeah, I made out with this Romanian girl in sixth grade. And I thought she gave me her. She was a professional. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Hired gun. Working girl. Sweet, she took good care of me.

But yeah, first make out, it's just awesome. And then you tell everyone, it's just, I mean, you can't beat that moment. Just, you're on a high. It's the best. I'm still on a high from it. Now, here's the thing. Now, I love you, you're my bro. But this is not exactly.

I know, we've got to really figure out sort of joy as we go. We've got to figure out the list is. How is this tied to exactly to school? I said first makeout. on well maybe it's like you tell your boys about it JT you might do you just step in here I don't know I need clarity dude I don't know I think it's you know I mean you're of course school age but how's in a school moment related to school maybe it's not yeah I don't know oh you fucker dude chuck the fuck up dude my won't have a lot of sex some of these are like school age rights of passage yeah like I was gonna put hooking up with your crush same thing it's the same thing yeah it tells me number one It was going to be, but now, you know. Whoa. I mean, it's not growing up just about trying to get action.

I like the phrase on hooking up too because that leaves a little more leeway for fingering, for hand jobs. Hucking up is such a better term. Yeah, because I can't do that after makeup. No, you can't do that after. I mean, you can take that. I mean, it was known as the Fingerblast assassin, but that's a story for another. Yeah, in college. Do really?

Do that's radical. How did that come to pass? Well, because I was just getting really good. doing it but not necessarily going the fold. Because I was getting so quick to it where I would consensually be doing it like mid-event. Like not even leaving

100% like we had this like big like music festival on campus and I might have got two in a night. You know what I mean? And it was amazing. Yeah and so I would I would do it on the dance floor and everyone liked it but then I'd kind of lose track of them. Did me my buddy were talking to a girl one time Her name was Brooke. Brookie Cookie was her nickname.

Yeah. And some badass dude just rolled up, had like a cigarette in his ear, a cigarette in his mouth, just like, looked like Ryan Cabrera. And he just rolled up to him. And then he just started to finger in her. Oh, my God. And she was super into it. Yeah, she liked to do.

And that's the key. And we were just standing there and we were like, what the hell? And then like after a minute, he was like, all right, later. And he just walked away and like lit his cigarette. Yeah. There's a key to being a good finger blast assassin, which is knowing that they're into it because there are guys who do this in a non-okay way.

Yeah, no, look, guys, this is a black belt move. Yes. You need to know where you're at ranking-wise. Don't go try this at your local dojo. Don't just try it without knowing that you're clear. Don't do this. 100%. This is like jackass.

But when you're good, you're great. So when you'd see girls at school and stuff, would you give them like a little I never quite progressed to that point, you know, because I almost think if you start, like Johnny Ringo or something. If you let them know, it's your move. A quarter in your hand just like this. Do you have a signature? mood? Did you have like a technique that you

would tell your boys about? No, no it just kind of happened. You just go with the flow. It's like jazz for you. Exactly. Exactly. Okay. There was one time when one of our buddies he's names bro. He was all bragging us. He's like dude fucking finger dart finger dar girl last night like dude I was just like he's like I was just

in there just rubbing the bean dude just like He's like dude just DJing so smooth He's like barely touch that barely grazed He's like dude freaking Niagara Falls bro And then we're really good friends with the girl And so he left and we're like, all right, that's sick, dude, dapp it up tight, good for you, bro. He leaves. We're hanging out with the girl like a week later.

We're like, dude, so you and you and my boy, like, whatever, how was that? She goes, it was a jackhammer. He looked at the guy. He's like, the guy had zero grace. It was like one gear. It was six. She was like, it was so. He was really funny by that because we all went out together at a bar and he just kept going.

He had a beer. He just kept going, I'm so sorry. And like, apologize. But like, playfully, it was very funny. It was amazing. Yeah, she was the best. She still is the best, dude. Yeah, I remember my first finger.

I was telling her, I was like, I felt the pearl. Dude. You feel like a little man in the boat and you're like, whoa. Yeah. It took me a while to feel that. Yeah. Because the first one, I mean, the first one, I'm in high school. I was just happy to be a part of it.

Yeah. Just once you get your mitts in there, you're pretty pumped. Yeah, you can't believe it. It's so much lower that you think it's going to be. Crazy that they put it there. Yeah, you're like, what? It's still going. Yeah.

Yeah, well, you feel the vagina. Dude, for the next week, you just look at your hand. You're like, oh, dude. You're him. This was there. Yeah. Oh. Yeah, dude.

You know what? This is why it's the best pick. I mean, I don't know. Are you doing this at school? Dude, what class were you doing it in, dude? Behind the bleachers, dude. Dude, that's what you should put, bro. Should we give him that he can put make out behind the bleachers?

I don't know. It's up to you. No, I don't know. Dude, I used to French this girl in sixth grade between periods. We would meet up. We knew each. other's schedule who would meet out front of class and just lick each other's tongues. Are you serious?

Yes. That's so awesome. Yeah. Yeah, but the girl was a demon. She went back and forth between me and my best friend like four times. Over a four period. Did you guys fight a lot? We've never been the same.

For real? Me and that dude? Yeah. Damn. You don't cross me in matters of love. Yeah. I mean, it's just the possibility, too, and you'd see a girl and you'd like say something. Yeah.

They ended like, I remember this one girl would give me a hug all the time and I feel her boob. I was shorter. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I feel her boobies and it was like, oh, it's just unbelievable. J.K., the dude, that was her initials. I won't say her full name out of respect. She used to put them, she was eighth grader when I was in seven. She put them big juggies in my face.

I was, you know, that's radical. A smitten boy. I was just thinking about these like last night before bed and like, it fired me up, but then it like kind of made me sad. Little nostalgic. Too nostalgic. I was like, dude, I miss some of these seminal moments. Yeah.

Do we went to Catholic school? And then you would do like the peace be with you before like you received the Eucharist. And you would abuse your piece be with you as like a good hand chick or a hug. And dude, you would go around and hug every girl. I swear to God, some dudes were getting a second base during peace be with you. It was radical, dude. It was the best. It would take 45 minutes.

Church or not. Or you're done kind of horny too. Oh, yeah. Because so many wires are getting crossed. All right, Joe, you're up with this number two pig. Okay. I mean, yeah, so many of mine were romantic. I'm going to go kind of down the pipe here.

It might be aggressive for a first. pick, but I'm going to say yearbook day. Oh, okay, okay, okay. Good pick. I'm going to say yearbook day because this is when you find out really where you're, all the work you've been putting in all year with the girl you have a crush on, with the dude you think you're boys with, you finally get the yearbook. You're going to find out where you stand.

It's a massive moment. Yeah, it's a huge moment. A massive moment. I had girls doing arts and crafts in my yearbook. Get the hell out of here. I would send it home with them. Dude, were you the page? I was about to say,

if you send it, I sent it to just a class with a girl, like I had a huge crush on this girl, dude. What up? Christy, what up? Dude, Chris loves

when I say her name. I was like, Kay, she took my yearbook to class with her. I was like, I can't fucking wait to read that. Yeah, dude. And I would say,

and I'd be like, how much did she take up? It'd be like one blur like, have a good summer. Be like, oh, that's the worst. It can be heartbreak. It can be heartbreaking,

too, but that is the school experience. When they'd say, I'll see you this summer. You slop. And you, dude, you decode the message. You're like, what was she trying to say in here? And you do, you'd be thinking about it. It's like a brain boner.

Dude, when they leave like a little heart. Oh, dude, you'd cross out some other dude's message. Fucked you. Yeah, dude. You don't fucking get them in there. Dunking on people. And it's like summer, you know? So the vibe, like it's warm out and you're just kind of feel.

Everyone looks great. And more things are in place. Like, you don't have to worry about, like, if you make a mistake, it's not like you have to go to school the next day. Like, it feels like the balance. boundaries open up a little bit. Yeah. Girls that might have had you on the sidelines, you're like, maybe she'll, you know, dude,

summer's a different vibe. Yeah. Summer's a very different vibe. I could only hook up in the summer. Summer's the best. Summer fling. I was a summer guy. I was a spring summer guy.

I was like fall winter. I was like hibernating. I was upset. I was mad because I was a baseball guy, not a football guy. So I was like, why are they wearing these douchebags jerseys even though that guy's my friend? And I would just be like upset at home, just like getting home from school, cranking, not being happy. spring summer different animal the voice of a generation right I mean well

sir when you said I just knew Joey gets it dude I'm about to blow your guys in mind think about this think about how powerful the pick this is it's about to be our 20 year high school reunion this year whoa it's 2026 bro this is how much I love that shit I went to my high school's 10 year reunion and then I got kicked out of his high school and I went to that one too I douched it bro I was on drugs at both because I was like 28 so I was still partying. I just took a whole bunch of Adder. I was like, I'm saying hi to everyone.

Yeah. I think you do have to be partying, though. I don't know if I want to go to one of these sober. I don't know. And then it's like, oh, you're doing comedy and you're like, I don't know. Right. Is that the worst? You're still doing the comedy thing?

Yeah, it's like, I got a special, bitch. Check my numbers. Yeah, yeah. Exactly. Exactly. Check my number. I had hand him a QR code. Two million accounts.

These are just my stats. Yeah, yeah. I don't know. Am I? Check the demos, bitch. Check out this podcast I was on. I have sold out of a real in Tulsa. You ever been there?

20,000 followers in Australia. Guys, I'm interrupting this pod to let you know that I will be in San Francisco tonight doing my one-man show, chill towards enlightenment at the Independent. I want to see you there. Tickets are moving fast. Make sure you get on it. Then I'm going to be in San Diego on April 9th. Then I'm going to be in Denver on April 6th.

I'm also going to be doing back in L.A. for my one-man show at Jam in the Van, April 25th. And then May 7th, Greeley, Colorado, May 8th, Colorado Springs, Casper, Wyoming, May 9th, Minneapolis, June 3rd, Milwaukee, June 4th, Ann Arbor, June 6th, and then JT and I have a bunch of dates coming up in the summer. Get on it. ChatjT.com. What up? I'm just trying to hear you up. Okay, bro. You guys, this leads perfectly into my pick. And I'm really want to capture the moments here.

And this is the repeating moment, and you get it, you know, K through 12 or whatever it is. but the fucking last class watching the clock tick down the bell rings and it's fucking summer break dude oh let's go summer starts you are never more stoked than when you walk out and you hear in Alice Cooper cue Alice Cooper

school he's out for summer I mean I have residual like when May comes around I have residual stoke from that like it's just ingrained in my body chemistry when May comes around I'm like I'm like, it's June. I'm like, it's fucking June. Yeah.

I was like, dude, you're the same amount of work today. You're like, it's different though. You're like, I have more work now. I can swallow the barbecue. I still see years like that. Like, I see years where I'm like, this is summer now. Like this is, dude, I think about you guys. It's time to fuck.

Exactly. Yeah. It's time. It's my fiance. I'm like, you know what today is, right? May 27th. It's time to fuck. Yeah.

She's like, relax. It's the best time of year, dude. You go out. There's usually a rager at that point. At that point. Yeah, someone throws like a kicking off summer party, which is always really nice. It's the best. You run into people like a creek or something.

Yeah. Fuck. And I mean, the last class, you know, the senior year one's probably the biggest one. But every year, you're so stoked when summer starts. You can feel it. I can feel the air. Yeah. I feel different on that day.

You're free. Because I wasn't allowed to have bleached hair, so I do it in the summer. Oh, dude. You play red hot chili peppers. Yeah. Dream of Gallifone. Yeah. Just fucking look back.

You splash your shirt, roll the windows down, drive off canvas. Which friend of yours has a pool is just doing business. Yeah, you go, yes, bro. Yeah. Go straight there. You're like, I'll see you later, Allie. Oh, bro. Yeah.

She knows. I hope you're listing right now. Summer brick. Maybe someone will take that as a pick. You're triangular. Like, you're like, dude, if I hang out with Spencer, he goes to the same community pool that Emily goes to. Yeah.

And then I might be able to run into her there. So you go over to Spencer. You're like, it's at the pool. Let's go. I'm happily married. and I'm missing my high school crushes, all of which I would not get along with if they walked out.

But in this moment, yearning. Yeah. None of them are vaccinated, dude. No, they'll have like nine kids. Well, dude, when you grew up in the Bay Area.

Yeah. The weather there is so fickle. Nothing colder than a San Francisco summer. We would always meet up at this beach called Creek. And it was the fucking best. And it was kind of great because I never really had games, so I wouldn't get girls' numbers, but I knew that's where everyone was at.

Bro. Yeah. What did you? Did you have anything like that? So I will say this. I grew up closer to San Jose and it's actually a completely different climate. Okay. Summer is entirely predictable 80, 90, 100.

Like, it's honestly very similar to So. Like when I went to college in San Diego, I was like, ooh, summer's actually worse here than where I'm from. Just because we're just, I'm just over the hill from Santa Cruz. So Santa Cruz, so Santa Cruz is. It gets foggy. It burns off by the time you get to where I'm from. So it was full tilt summer. Incredible sales pitch for San Jose. Where did you go to school in San Diego? Uh, you see San Diego. Bro, I went to UC San Diego. What? Yeah. You're a Triton. You never meet Triton. What are you going to get a finger blasting?

Dude. What did this guy do? What was your guys this big music festival you do? Sun God. That's where I would get it in. Bro. Dude, dude, dude, do, do one of that whole foods on. What's that street called? Oh, fucking Gilman? Or Nobel, maybe? Noble. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. Dude, all that. Bro, what year did you graduate? Uh, 2013. What about you? 2010, so I was a little older. Oh, dude. Just what college did you go to?

ERC. Nice. Warren gave the grad speech. Did you really? Yeah. Wow. Dude. It's on YouTube.

I posted it up. Hold it up, dude. You don't need the audio. I mean, but just you look at me and I'm thriving. By the way, you never meet anyone who goes to UC San Diego. No, you don't. And there's like a ton of students. You don't. Did you do improv? You did improv? No, I, you can skip ahead. I did that. Yeah, look at this guy. Wow. Look at this guy. Oh, you can tell you're figuring nonstop.

100%. Oh, my God. No, I just won a speech competition. And I was doing stand-up at the time and I'd done a set at Sun God. I like what I think I got to do a set at Sun-God. You guys would get so quiet up on Sun-God. It was the one year we parted. It was like the one social event at school. Like, it was a pretty anti-social school. I turned a house and some guy gave his speech. He was, everybody to a good sun god this year. I took a rhetoric class at UC San Diego and my speech was,

we need to party every weekend like it's sun god. That was my actual speech that I had to use like rhetorical analysis for. That's a huge. That's huge. I can't get over this image. You look like you were just eating ass. Dude, this is amazing. Dude, this is amazing.

It's so San Diego. You're very quintessential. Burn, do you go to PV ever? Did I go to PB ever? Yeah, I went to PB a lot. You got out of there without a tattoo or a pit bull? Honestly, it is crazy. No, the only thing that changes, there's vape stores now, that's it.

Everything is still tattooed by the paper. When I go back, every pause is crazy. Dude, dude, this is amazing. It's just like a blasted. It's just a make-a-d-d-dict-a-cartoon-like. It's so San Diego. I got, and I bought the shit because I studied abroad in South Africa,

So I bought the like South Africa That's the flag that I'm draped around And then I have an honors cord Because I made honors Dude I think I have a frat thing I did was communications It was a cheat code Very good school

I got it for baseball And then I got cut You play baseball? I went there to play baseball And I like did the whole tryout thing I was a recruited walk on I was one of like 16 of us And they only kept one

Yeah They only kept one? The dude was crazy He played volleyball Yeah That was volleyball Yeah Oh sick

The volleyball was always D1, what up. Dude, did you watch us? The men's were in the tournament last year. And when I saw them on TV, I was like, holy shit. Our basketball team is in March Badness. And they were getting annihilated by Michigan, but they made it respectful. They made it respectful. They almost won.

I know. They came back and they covered. I actually took action on that. Yeah. Oh, fuck. Yeah. Where in San Jose are you from? Saratoga.

Oh, no. Yeah, I went to Santa Clara. That's right. I forgot about that. Yeah. I have a lot of intersect. I have a lot of intersect. That little, you know.

It's like a little paradise. It's a little tiny paradise. I absolutely love it. It's like, it almost is the best weather in California. I agree. Yeah, and people just think about San Francisco.

Yeah, those summers are incredible. Would you, would you live there? I don't know. You know, like Santa Clara, whenever I go back,

yeah, I think I could. Yeah. But it's just something, when I think about people from college who still live in Santa Clara, I'm like, that's kind of weird.

Right. You know what I mean? It is, it is, funny because like since I grew up there a lot of my friends who went to college came back so my community I'm like they're all doing well they can afford to live in the bay

but some people you're like you gotta let the dream die yeah yeah like Los Gatos I could for sure live there yeah like somewhere like that yeah my dad was the city manager of Los Gatos when he was 26 years old wow I hate to do this but we put a cap on NorCal talk on this pod that's very sorry yeah just just quick cap I mean that was nice

you can circle back after a certain amount of time That's fair. The thing I do want to circle back and then we'll get back to the draft is, per the FBI, the Finger Blast Assassin, our actual foam fingers say shock them, Tritons, and they are the shocker. Yes. And so the foam fingers for the basketball game are a shocker and just goes,

shock them tracts. Do you shock people? I didn't. That's too crass for me. I'm more beloved. You don't need that extra. I'm a lover, not a fighter. You're not filming this for Jules Jordan.

We're just having a nice time. I'm just going back to my number one pick. It's not a makeout, but in college, I did a shocker one time. You did? Really? It was a Friday night, and I partied Saturday, told everyone. Yeah, of course. I was like, I shocked her.

That's kind of back on. I shocked her, dude. Yeah. I just, let me just put it in there. You're like, is this okay? Okay. Is this okay? It's good for you?

Okay, cool. And then the next side, dude, I fucking shocked the shit out of her. I was just blasting away. I've never heard a phrase like that. I shocked her. Yeah,

you might see her walking differently. They call me PG&E. Bring the electricity. Because we used to wear like hair pieces and just get hammered. So I have like a blonde wig on like Val Kilmer and in heat. Oh, nice. Dude, I shocked her. Do you just hook up with that fucking idiot over there?

Bring that back immediately. I'm not wearing enough hair pieces. It's been fun. It's the best. Yeah. You got to get drunk in a hairpiece. Sold. I'll do that this weekend.

All right. I got two picks here. I'm coming out of the gates. I'm glad this is still on the board. I think this could have been number one overall, your first rager. Oh, yeah. Dude. The excitement that anything is possible, like when you're like, dude, I wonder who's going to be there.

Is Christy going to be there? I might get a chance to talk to her. If Tyler doesn't show up, I got a legit shot. Yeah. The upperclassman, dude. Fights break out. You're doing your first beer bong. Beer pong drinking games, the freaking dance floor.

People are falling over in bushes. Someone's going to get too drunk. Yeah. And they're like, let's draw on. I remember like, you know the girl who was like a good girl would get too drunk kiss four different boys? She's like, oh my God. Yeah.

Tar's a slide. Yeah. You got to get through that unscathed. It can make or break people. You can have a bad party. And that's a can around your tail forever. I had a friend. She did bad at a party I had.

It was over for her. No one talked to her again. Yeah, she was that crazy at the party. She went loco bejoko. She was soaking people and stuff. It was gone. She was punching people. Yeah, she went like nuts, nuts.

I love you. But she went crazy. Yeah. So just first rager. She's so exciting. And especially when it feels like a movie, when it feels like Project X and you're like, dude, this is so insane.

Yeah. Like we don't even know how to control this. Like it's its own entity. The person who owns a house isn't in charge. And I don't want to be this guy who's like, do kids even party anymore? But is this still happening in the age when every like high school was trying to like Twitch stream shit and like. I watched this show and I actually met the kid on an airplane. FX did a show about being in high school right now.

And there were some ragers and kids got too drunk. And like other kids showed up from another school and like caused a fight. That's always interesting. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it's funny because, like, you know, at some point I will be a parent and I will be like knowing what happens at these. I'll be very afraid of it. But as someone who's not involved right now, I'm like, you really have to do that.

Yeah, for sure. You need to have that reckless insane party. And you first time getting drunk is like, and also my first college party, just another school moment. Like my first college party, the Red Solo Cups, it was like, it was like I reached a new level of freedom where I was. I was like, I couldn't believe where I was. It was like a movie come to life. Yeah. I just see people standing on tables.

I was like, oh my God. Yeah. It's happening. Yeah. And when you do good at a party, when you have a good performance, when you do something funny that you know people are going to be talking about the next day. Yeah. A little taller when you go to class.

Yeah. We said it can break you. It can make you too. Yeah, exactly. You can become the guy who didn't have this going on. And it's like, you know what? You all of a sudden get a new, you know what? Kind of like.

Yeah. He just been sitting in the back of class, but he was just domic. He was dominating the beer pong table. He had a shirt tied around his head. He was being funny. Yeah, dude, parties. And when he start partying, it's, oh, that's the best. One of the upper classmen's like, yeah, roll through it.

That's the thing, like, if you're on a team or whatever, and, like, they invite you, and then you get dapped up by a dude who's cool. Yeah. It's so sick. Yeah. Made varsity ball as a freshman. Really? Did you just a stud?

Shortstop and pitcher. Best athlete on the field, sure. 100%. 100%. What were you throwing senior year? I got up to like 86 All right dude You got a hose

Get the fuck out of here It wasn't quite enough Well you know I didn't end up making the team At UCSD For high school For a normal person That's incredible

And back to NorCal I was Tim Lincium days So as a short king I was like If I can just load off the back leg And spring forward Anything's possible You got that Linsiccan flow

And college I saw you have that flow Yeah 100% Was Brian Wilson the closer back then? Yeah dude Incredible Incredible Giants era Yeah

You guys were good Posey and stuff. Yeah, no one talks about him because it was like, why don't they get the love that they should? They won like three or four. They do. Like my algorithm is all like Bay Area and EDM propaganda. So like I see great Tim Linzikam edits weekly. But I don't know if everyone else is in this world.

Even like Yamamoto this year, everyone's like best pitching performance ever. I'm like, but what about Bumgarner when he dominated for it when he pitched three games that time? You're preaching to the choir. Ruined the rest of his career because of that. He balled out and was like, it was never the same. He was a cowboy, dude. Dude, when he came out, I was getting hammered on Chestnut Street in San Francisco. When he came out of that bullpen in the Royal Series, it was like the greatest Western I've ever watched.

Just fireworks. But real quick, we got to cap it. Yeah, we do. We do. Yeah, it's pretty sick, but no more. At Sank Clara, when they would, we would like couches on fire in the street. Yeah, yeah. It's a beautiful thing you do.

There'd be like three couches on fire in the middle of the street. I guess the Giants did well. Yeah, it was awesome. The vest. All right. My next one is going to be, you know what? We're doing school moments and I don't feel like we have enough school moments here besides Joeys.

Besides mine. Yeah. All right. I'm going to do first school dance. That's good. I mean, first school dance or just school dance. Just school dance. School dance.

You know, I can take prom? You can't just do all school dance. All right. All right. All right. I don't know. Oh, no. I know what it is.

I know what it is. This is, I don't know. This is just. No, this is it. This is it. You started it. Yeah, yeah. Okay. Hold on. First time asking a girl to a dance. Okay. That's what it was. Okay. Okay. Because you know, sometimes the dances aren't that great. Like, they're oftentimes boring. They land flat.

The after parties, sick. The limo, a lot of cool shit happens. That's when I kissed Stephanie Ramsey because I remember that moment. That was sick, dear. And then he made fun of me at school on Monday because he said afterwards, I was like this. Dude, dude. But I was like, come on. Yeah, but Bryce was like had a girlfriend He was cool Fuck you, Bryce

Yeah, he was like a big wave Surfer and shit I was like whatever bitch He were like flannel to classes And shit We're like damn dude And I got punched at that My first school dance

A guy to we went to What was Mary Bell's El Ranchito for food? Yeah And this old guy came up And he was like in sunglasses He just came up to our Like our winter formal party

He was what's up guy What's up man And he was kind of being rude And I was like Dude you know I remember being guys like you in high school, but I wasn't fake like you were and I was like, no, you're fake like your cheap

ass sunglasses and all these people were like, oh and then he went, boom, and he slugs me. Totally going to door, dude. Yeah, he cracked me. He was like, yeah, it was like 30. And I was like, what the, he didn't like, it wasn't like a knockout hit, but I was like, what the fuck? And I was just totally shocked.

I was like, what is going on? Yeah. And then the dude walked him and then he came back and he did that thing that fucking abuser do where he was like, hey dude like, my wife said I might have like accidentally like made contact with your face or something. And I was like, dude, you freaking crap. None of my boys did nothing.

But then two random guys from another high school were like MMA guys and they fucking punked his ass for me, which was awesome. Really? Yeah. They just went up to him. What up? What up? You're going to fucking talk shit?

You're going to fucking do so? And then he was like, got all scared. And I was like, these guys are awesome, man. Nothing's got to be demoralizing that as a fully grown adult getting beat up by high schoolers. They were scary. But they're both. High school.

Or being a fully grown adult female and having to talk to your husband who you're married to and saying, hey, I think you hit that high school. learn that's a conversation dude yeah that's a conversation I just got off the phone why did you do that honey he insulted my sunglasses

in front of other people he cracked me a good one but dude yeah asking a girl though it was so nerve wracking to ask someone to a dance and I remember when I asked Ashley she's driving me home from school of spontaneous

nice I was like what do you're gonna do for the dance she's like I might go with my friend from servant I was like why don't we just go together oh and then she was like really And I was like, yeah, why not? And it was like, why not us? Why not us?

And then, I don't know, but then guess who won winner, formal king and queen? Me and Ashley, let's go. Yeah, that's big. And they played us, dude, when we won and we started off slow and then when I got to the chorus, I'll put some hip into it. Oh, dear nice girl.

You're grinding. Married now. Yeah. That's sad. Married now. She married. I think it was dilemma. Dude, freak dancing at the day.

dances, bro. Oh my gosh. Yeah. They just get a fat boner. You would get a boner. That's when you would know. You'd get a boner. Eric Rillan would wear compression shorts. Smart, bro. The Under Armour one? Yeah. Smart. That guy's, he went to MIT. He's smart. And then y'all's school, your guys had tried to ban grinding by play. They stopped playing rap music to ban. So then they'd play like Sweet Home Alabama,

but the guys would just grind to Swedenholm Alabama. Just play Vanga Boys. And guys ain't jit. Do, do, do, do, do, do, do. Do you have a slow dance. Francisco. Slow me. That fucking Aerosmith's song? Oh,

I don't want to go. Oh my God, dude. You're like smelling a girl's perfume. Yeah, you smell it. Oh my gosh. Yeah, I'm talking to.

That's all I cared about. I was always, I was like monogamous with my crushes. I always had one girl I was obsessed with from preschool through the end of high school.

You're deeply romantic too. Would you like write love letters and stuff like that to them? You get less romantic over time. But I mean in high school. by college you're just getting in there with the pause we've been heard at that point you're like you're gonna get in time you turn into an outlaw yeah you're like return to the mac kind of um yeah actually this the girl that i used to like suck face with in between in between uh periods school periods

um we we had the same seat in one of our classes so we would type out letters and tape them under the desk whoa and go and you know dude that's a little bit Yeah. And then I would keep all of them. I hit them in like a in a box and my mom found them and one of them. I mean, we were doing hypotheticals like, would you do blow jobs? And my mom didn't find it as romantic as I did. You're just like, boy, Darren, we're just messing around. Yeah, yeah. I swear it's a dude. You and Darren.

Don't worry. It's not funny. My buddy. We're testing the system. My buddy, Andrew, his parents had a mobile home and it was next to their house. And he brought a girl home one time and like was banging her in there. And his parents were super Christian. And so they're banging on the mobile home in the morning. They're like, Andrew, are you in there?

And he opens it. And he's butt naked. And they're like, what are you doing in there? Who's in there with you? Is there a girl in there? He goes, oh, no, it's just me and my buddy. He goes, it's just me and John Daniels. And he closes the door.

And he's bragging to us how he got away with it. He's like, yeah, dude, they caught me naked. They thought it was a jig. It was just John. We're like, yeah, now they think you're gay. A whole different situation. Yeah, exactly. They're just shocked, dude.

Yeah. All right, dude, this is great. What do we've been telling right now? What did JT just do right there? He told a story about one of his boys. I'm going to go ahead and take the pick of meeting your crew for life, dude. You meet the boys, dude. Crewing up, if you will.

Now, this doesn't happen for everyone. Some people meet their friends later in life. A lot of girls, maybe we'll meet their friends later in life. But for the boys, you meet your fucking crew, dude. Dude, we just assassinated chicks. Later, dude. Later, dude. Sorry, dude.

Tell the nice ladies who listen, sorry, dude. We had to let you have it. Most boys I know when you go on a bachelor party and it's a friend at Midland, you got your boys from high school, you got a college crew. And I mean, that's just who comes together, you know what I mean? Yeah. That's a nice one, bro. So having your friends and all the memories that come along with it.

And then like, incoming freshmen, we saw each other at kaleidoscope, the movie theater. We were both holding court with like our own little groups from our separate schools. And I was like, what up, dude? He was like, what's up? We were, like, kind of wary of each other at first, but then he made a joke about having sex with some kids a year. And I was like, this guy's got it. This guy got it. He has what it takes.

And then J.T. famously, like, scored the highest testing and got into all the smartest classes, but then did zero homework. And so we got demoted to my biology class, and I was like, fucking let's go. And so then we had inside jokes. And what we would do is we had, like, close classrooms to that class. So we were, like, pretty much always the first ones to that class before the period started. And we would just hug in the middle and like really hold each other's asses from the bottom just and have each other's hands in back pockets grabbing each other's asses. And then the whole class would come and we wouldn't move, just full commit.

And then everyone would sit down around us. People would try to talk to us and we go. And then just hold each other's asses. Get to your seats down. I'm like, all right. Yeah. Sometimes you'd break it up. But if it went perfect, the bell would ring.

We would shake each other's hands and make eye contact and then go sit down. It's the best. Dude. That is awesome. That's your boys, dude. Mike, so I had a best friend I still have him that we met when I was like eight years old like his family moved

from New Jersey to the bay and we were on the same farm league baseball team. Our parents became best friends, we became best friends and we were best friends like kind of on and off but it was always there. We do family vacations together. Then in high school the best guy on the football team got into

some drama with his grade and kind of became an outcast. We drafted him into our group. The three of us, Tenacious Deacon, was big at the time. We became the Tenacious 3, T3, to this day in the group chat, three best friends. We added a piece, and we had

the coolest sophomore, me, junior, my day one, and senior, our draft pick, and we've been inseparable ever since. Wow. Yeah, that happens to Rod. That happened to Rod. He got ostracized by his grade. You get ostracized sometimes. Yeah, and he started hanging out the freshman because he

took some guy's girlfriend or something like that, and the team took the other guy's sign. Yeah. Wow. Yeah, it was a great draft pick he was like going to play football at Cal white wide receiver different oh great draft pick did it's got hard he went on to start a band I mean how quick and in the first tour I was ever on I was his merch dude I wasn't even what is that with these guys we had a guy like that too match Mauer he was the biggest stunt on the football team yeah but he had personality issues the coach kicked him off the team he was like a psycho he walked around our little private

school with like a sharpened screwdriver just in case not that but then but then he just pivoted and started like started straightening his hair, started in the email band. And they fucking ripped. I was like, this fucking guy, dude. He's fucking good at everything. And our Daniels is the same way, good quarterback and good of music. It's unbelievable. If you're in a band in high school, bro, it's like over.

It's so cool. Yeah, he started his in college and then they like blew up when it was like college music blog. Would we know him? They were called Radical Something. It was very like California like rap, pop sort of deal. They had a great run. They had a great run.

I mean, they got great photo. Yeah, middle guy was our was our guy But yeah, that's my guy And he must have had quick feet, right? Was he just the shuttering stuff? Oh, incredibly quick feet. He was nasty on the field.

6-3? The dude just got after it. The dude was, he was good at, he was good at picking up chicks. Oh, yeah, for sure, dude. He was built, yeah, yeah. He, I think Cal, he thought he was going to have a more robust career at Cal

because he could have been one of those dudes, but, you know, politics. and whatever, started a band and fucking chilled. Yeah. We had guys like that too where you see, you see like Adam Thielin ripping it up in the league. And then you like want to text your white buddy and be like, you could have been that guy?

He never, he never admits it. He was always like, he's like, dude, I'm a one track mind. Football's over. I don't even have cleats.

I do music now. He stopped doing music. When in the business world sold his guitar. He just moves on. Yeah. But like finally for the first time in like two decades, we're at a bar and he's watching a game. And he's like,

dude all my boys from Cal are like still in the league and I'm like we're opening up yeah yeah we're opening up this is healthy brother this is healthy this is how you really let go dude Peyton Pritchard was like the worst for that too because like you know I had a lot of friends who are good hoopers who are like 6-2 and you're like oh there's no place in the league for like a 6-2 white guy you know but then you see Peyton Pritchard lighting it up and I just like I on our group thread all the time anytime he goes off I message all my boys and I'm like

why couldn't this have been you dude Why are you not putting the blame on them? Yeah, totally. Why did you fuck up? I'm like, you're 6'4, dude. Why are you not Peyton Pritchard? But he's just done. All right.

Okay. Now, this one, it may read as not fully school, but it is, I'm going to say getting your driver's license. I mean, that's the number one pick right there. This is a very good list right now. This is a huge part of your life because, yes, obviously you can drive. But really, this is getting your freedom. Yes.

Yes. This is when you grow up in a suburban American town, getting your driver's license is your bar mitzvah. You've become a man. Yes. For sure. Now, it's so important that you get your freedom. Think about where we used to hang out. We used to just go hang out at a parking lot. We would all drive our cars to a parking lot to hang out. And the car is so important. The parking lot, whose house is that? That's a car's house. Yeah. It's like house party for cars. Yes. And we would just go. Dude, that opens up your entire life. And that first moment, when you're free and you're just driving that thing around, you're like, are you fucking kidding? It's like, before I got my driver's license and after,

because the world just all opens up. Yeah, it's the best. Dude, you hip a chick, you like, you want to come hot box. Exactly. Hot box. You hot box to whip. And then you're like, I can't drive.

I'm having a mental breakdown. We're driving fast with chicks in the car. You get a girl in the car, and you take a turn. and do a little bit of a skid. Oh, yeah. Or, dude, showing her your personality, being like, this is Oasis.

Have you ever heard of them? Yeah. This is who I am this band right now, dude. You play Pepper. Oh, bro. Oh, Pepper. You just earned yourself NorCal Talk by making that. Dude, Pepper.

Okay, back to say. My yearbook quote was Revolution. Oh, dude, dude. Yeah. My first concert, I mean, like, as a kid, I went with parents and shit, but my first concert was at the Catalyst. It was the expendables opening up for Pepper.

Oh, bro. Huge. Incredible. Expendables, dude. Passifier opening, too. Why would you have some dirty hot sex with me? Dude,

didn't you see them like eight times in high school? We saw them at Coach House. Dude, it was awesome. The fuck and best. A great venue of Coach House. Oh, bro, that's so huge. Yeah, man. That was like my entire musical identity was this.

I was even just going to take, because going with, not you took driverless. I'm not doing anything carlid. Just driving somewhere to get food with your boys. Like being like, yo, let's just go to in and out right now

and just posting up and just like going to the movie. We always went to A&W. You know, it's just on the way home because we all lived in San Juan. I was going to say that sounds like in 1950s. Yeah, they opened a half like A&W, half KFC and we'd go there every day after school.

You know A&W like rips in Canada, but not here. The food was trash. Terrible. People in Canada, they love A&W. They're still cooking out there. You don't even see him out here. The fries are good. You suck Kyle Donnie.

No, no, Josh Sanderson. That's right. Josh Sanderson. He was a cool, cool guy, dude. And, like, I would go to, like, in Orange County, they have, like, in Orange County, they have, like, basketball, like, like, parents are affluent. And so, like, you train with, like, a better team or whatever. And it was, like, an AAU team.

And I never dressed. I just kept to, like, practice with them. I wasn't good enough. And, uh, so I would see Josh at practice. He's good out. And, like, he knew me. I can tell. And, uh, they just won the game.

It was maybe when they beat modern day or was they won a big game or something like that. Yeah, he did good. And I'm coming back from food and all the boys are sitting here and like, we're sophomores and Josh's senior. He's like post him with a girl. And I'm walking past and I go, good game, Josh. And he just like this. So anyway, he just keeps talking to his girl and doesn't see it. I sit down and all my boys go, you fucking bitch.

You fucking bitch. And you're just getting clowned on, bro. I'll never forget it, dude. Just torched. And I was just like, no, he might be you. He was talking to girl. Maybe he heard me. Oh, God.

God. It's deep sports culture down there. I was just in Orange County this week and I hung out with Danny Bobona. Oh, dude. I went to his clubhouse. He's the man, dude. What a great guy.

He's got the greatest kids. But all the kids are stud athletes. They're like seven and they fucking all have like Danny's kids. Danny was a great athlete. Great college pitcher. Dude, hoses.

Really? Oh my God. And like Danny's got him hitting lefty, throwing righty like just so they can play in field but rake still. Like you guys rip off the names of just like mildly successful SoCal dudes the way that Theo Vaughan

invents like mythical creatures for his podcast Thee was always like I once knew a man who ate plants And you're like Oh dude Danny Bovino So happy He's successful

Yeah Yeah It is amazing It's like open space and shit Dude It's pretty amazing Well that conversation Leads

Nicely into my next pick Which is when your team The team I'm gonna say The team wins the big game Yeah, that's big. That's big. Team wins the big game.

The whole school's going nuts. You got school spirit, you know, you start streaking, you got, you know, you tailgate, all that good stuff. Everyone's pumped. The whole school is unified. And then you shock a lady. Miracle at Moizzo, dude. That was huge, bro.

It really is, yeah. Tyler Smith's just raining threes. And when Risinger did that flipping touchdown against Mission Vie-A. That was after we graduated. We came back. alum and saw that. I hugged my brother so hard after that game because he was on the team. I ran on to the field

like everyone charged the field after him and I went to hug him. I hugged him so hard. I busted his lip open. Yeah. Like he looked after him. He was like, because I would get too amped. He was like, dude, what the fuck? He got more injured hugging me than in the game. I think this is why we like college sports.

Because they're obviously not as good as pro sports, but the hype is better. The fandom. The fandom. And we can connect to it and we remember. it and we love watching the kids on the sidelines going absolutely ape shit. Oh, it's the best. We just like seeing it and recalling it. Did you play in CIF for baseball and all that stuff? CIA, uh, I don't think so.

But did you have like a big game? Like did you ever like, uh, throw like a no-no or anything? No, I, uh, so my seniors, so our team, our school was not great at sports, but this, my senior year, team captain, we won league for the first time in 25 years, which was awesome. I need to be a positive story. And the fun thing, my most fun story is that I only, I was like a lead off hitter, you know, shortstop pitcher, not a lot of power. I only hit two home runs in my high school career. Same inning.

Whoa. Same inning. Do you still message the guy you hit it off of? What up, dude? I actually know him. Really? That's amazing. I actually know a guy on the team.

The guy who I hit him off, you know, he killed himself. I was going to say, I wouldn't fraternize with someone at that level. But I think it ruined me. Because all of a sudden I was like, you know, if I just lock in, I could hit dingers pretty much every time. Yeah, I went from hitting like 4.30 my junior year to like 320 my senior year because I was just trying to drop Dick. That'll happen.

Now, speaking of Dick, yes. It's my pick, right? No, no. Oh, no, it's sick. Oh, yeah, that's right. All right. All right, this next one, I mean, just one of the greatest moments when you're in class. farting in class

oh it's nice it's nice it's nice it's uh it's so if someone does it I remember I was in the study hall someone did it and I don't think I've ever laughed harder and it's also like it's kind of a you're not supposed to laugh

but it's like well it's like it's like when you're in church someone farts in church and like be like don't laugh don't laugh and you're like I got to laugh yeah farting in class is the funniest thing of all time Yeah, when you get the giggles, like, with your boy, you know, and you just, like, can't stop.

Yeah. I almost want to take that, but I'm not. And I had already segued this by saying, speaking of Dick, very similar to yours, I'm going to say bricking up in class. Oh, my own. Dude, getting a voter to carry my backpack out in front of my woody, dude. Getting full mass, like, in the middle of math class, because, like, you know, they're just saying numbers at you. And you're like, I don't know what the fuck you're talking about. And so you just start thinking about some.

other shit. Maybe, maybe, maybe there's a girl you have a crush on. Maybe you don't even have a crush on her, but maybe she's got a little thong peeping out. Oh, man. And you just see some of that, dude, and you just start getting full mass. And you realize, I don't have to listen to math because I'm not interested in it. I can think about all of my wildest dreams and desires while being fully bricked. Yes.

I was imperved too. Like, I remember third grade. We all were at that. It was like, hey, put down your pens quiz over. I kept filling an answer. All of a sudden, I'm rock hard from being a bad boy. Then I start just rubbing my dick over my pants. Dude, I had a full no bust orgasm.

Oh, great. Yeah, and the teacher, like, the teacher didn't notice, but sometimes I think maybe she did notice, it was just like, I'm not touching that with a 10 foot pole. Yeah. And you're just, yeah. Yeah. So did you get into doing that?

I probably did it for, you know, it was so hard to conjure that moment. Yeah. It was such an organic thing. I probably did it four or five more times over my life where, like, it was that kind of situation where I'm being bad. Yeah. I'm excited and I can do it over the pants job on it. Well, dude, I learned how to like get after it before I could actually spray.

Me too. Dude, a totally different experience. I think it changes your life. And the golden era, man. Yeah. Dude, I used to just whip the thing around. It was totally different. It was like I had a, I can't remember.

I might have, I think I have a joke about it in my special. I do say, like, I would whip the thing around. Like, it was the world's largest clit. Yeah. Because I walk. I was. Dude, my poor brother It isn't a special.

Watch the special. I was such a person and like we had an older friend so we'd all joke about like whacking off and stuff. My bro took it super literally. I walk into my brother's room one time. He's full on boner and he's slapping it.

I swear to God. I was like, Chris, no! And I was like, do you know like that's called beating your day? Yeah, yeah. I was like, he didn't say it but he was like, this doesn't feel good. I was like, he's like, he's like,

Is it like alcohol? Is it something you grow to like? I'm like, no, no, no, you just rub it. You got to do it. Yeah, you rub it gently, dude. It's so funny, dude. Pitch and tip. Pitch and tip. It doesn't have you. Pinch and tip. Yeah.

That was also a strategy. NRB, dude, no reason boner, just bricked up in class. Yeah. So nice. Guys, you know what time it is. It's time to level up your hog game. It's time to increase the B flow. And the best way to do that is with the legends at Blue Chew.

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Strider, you're up. All right, dude, I'm going to take this one. Honestly, kind of can't even believe this fell to me because we've been talking about it so much. The memories we've been sharing about are revolve around this so much. I'm going to put playing a varsity sport. That was on there. This is the highest level of competition

and organized competition that most people ever get to in their life. Yeah. It's huge. Honestly, even playing any sport, but I think varsity is huge. So lettering, you know, you letter in high school. It's a huge deal. It's a big deal. You letters suck you off.

Sorry. Bro. You know, you get your letterman jacket, right? You know, you get your letterman jacket, right? You don't you apologize. You're always welcome here. And, dude, some of the moments you have is just practicing, being with your boys, going on your run. I still remember my volleyball, senior volleyball season, our last game at Redondo.

Fucking bunch of bitches, dude. us we should have beat them but uh you were in the newspaper that time yeah yeah yeah at an enigmatic block is what they said oh wow how does that even not enigmatic no um emphatic oh okay yeah yeah yeah i'm a dumb ass emphatic was you register register yeah you're like you're covering your eyes yeah being mysterious so it's huge i mean yeah playing a sport organized sports just the intensity of it making the team is just such a big thing i'm gonna say this because I don't think it'll be a draft pick, but dude, getting in the paper, getting in the paper was the greatest.

Huge. It was so huge. We started, like, I got in it for Little League All-Stars. And it's like a photo of me pitching with like my stat line and like my name under. I think that positively affected my life for the rest of it. We got the paper in my hometown for our mask video. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

For content? Yeah, that was like a big deal. Like family friends reached out. A lot of my friends reached out. because at the time I thought we had to do it for the characters. I really wasn't trying to pull a fast one, but I lied about my age. So,

yeah, because I was like, I was like, well, the characters are kind of like dumb, so I can't, you know. Hey,

I'm 18. Yeah, that's so funny, dude. Yeah, do varsity sport is huge. Yeah. You're the king of the castle.

Especially when you're a freshman, you see the, the seniors, you're like, I'll never be that big or like any of that stuff. Dude, there was a guy named Rupp at our school. Yeah.

I mean, this goes with playing the sport, like you would shower. and he could helicopter. Wow. He would have his full big hand and then more of his big penis beyond that. Wow.

He would talk about it. It's kind of traumatizing. He would tell a freshman, hop on my back. I'll fly you where you want to go. Oh my God. You would travel is mild part. People just knew about it. I think he walked around campus shirtless.

Like he was just allowed to get away with things. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, his name is Rupp. Yeah. That's why I keep telling my wife, like, when we have a kid, I'm like, she's not going to let me do it, but I'm like, truck Avery.

That's a awesome The truck is great Like your truck would be awesome Avery's such a good name Just their kid's gonna go by Avery No matter issues They always yeah I can call it Avery Avery dude

I thought about that too Because I really admire the name I think it can fill both slots All right I'm up dude I got two picks here I think we're just gonna do four picks overall too Jake

I'm fired up for this These two picks The first one is This, dude, this was such an ultimate experience for me. I was always very drawn to it. I still watch a lot of this stuff as an adult. Dude, high school fistfights. Yeah.

I still watch a lot of this as an adult. Dude, I got into a big fist fight early freshman year with Eric Puzio. It's a big story from the pod. Me and him had a showdown Friday Night Lights at the football game. He tried to punk me after school. I shoved them. People were like, now you got to fight. I didn't know you were allowed to say no.

I just was like, my older friends were like, you have to fistfund. I was like, fuck. Told my mom. I was like, I'm going to the game. I got to fight this guy. She was like, all right, well, have your uncle drive you. What? Yeah.

My mom, she just accepted that? Yeah, she did. My mom's cool. That's awesome. And then I went and fist fought this kid. It was a battle. I won, but I walked away because I didn't want to like kill him. Yeah.

And then the fucking spin doctors were like, no, he won because he was an older kid. So all the older kids were like, you got, they just wanted us to fight. That's probably the realest world lesson you could ever get, dude. Yeah, you can never kill the guy enough, dude. Yeah. If they can milk you for more content. Propaganda is real. Yeah.

Yeah. And they just wanted me to keep fighting him. And I was like, fuck, dude. But then I also, freshman summer, Nietto versus Spellman. That was a big one, dude. Nietto, I was in summer school. Nietto walked up to Spelman and poured chocolate milk on his head for quitting the football team. Whoa.

And then Spellman was, like, was reping like he was a tough guy. And I was like, yeah, I did the same. Same thing to them that happened to me. Shit rolls downhill. I was like, y'all got to fight. I found a venue, the Cotto clubhouse.

The general store. I got like 300 people who showed. You Dana White did it? Dana White did it? I filmed it. Spellman was in my, and then poor Spelman, he didn't want to fight.

He showed up. Nietta was like eaten metal by the time Spellman got there. And dude, he was like, Roar shop on steroids. Yeah, he showed up drunk.

Oh, yeah, wailed on him. I filmed it. And then I was like, and then I was like, give me the tape. You know,

I could go to jail for that. I was like, I was like, Dave, relax. You're fired up right now. I'm like, you're going to want this tape down the road. He goes, and he grabbed me. He said, give me the tape, I'm going to tear your fucking head off. And I was like, you're really ruining the moment. I was like, but fine, take the tape.

And then old guys were there. But it's just always a very exciting experience. Yeah, a couple 40-year-olds just hanging out after a tea time. Yeah, there was. But it was always a good time when there was a good, sometimes you could get too gnarly, you know, like, this kid Cameron Biscan got drunk, jumped. They like put him in the hospital. I'm like, you don't need to do all that.

but just a good fight was always fun. Yeah. And then for my next one, you know, if it hadn't happened to me, I wouldn't think it was real. But I'm going when you have a teacher who gets it. Like a teacher who gets you? No, like a dead.

Oh, sorry. I'm talking like not a teacher who could get it. I mean like a dead poet. Can you put in parentheses, dead poet society? I like that. Like, dude, my teacher's senior year, Miss Breen, my English teacher,

she was like my best friend she really like saved my life like people would make jokes that we were like into each other wasn't like that at all like literally she was just like a new teacher I was like a precocious kid who was like would fuck up a lot in class and stuff and like she was kind of like my

moral guide and I would like come to her after school sometimes I would cry to her we'd laugh together it was like it was really huge she was a huge influence on me in a intellectually and emotionally so you got a teacher who and then Mr. Nielsen had my previous high school similar

because I was like I was a troublemaker so people just thought I was a piece of shit but she was like no you're like a good kid and she like fostered that in me that one is you know it's a comedy podcast so that's probably going to be an underrated pick but that might be the most important of the moments it's big dude if you think about it

now do you have any teachers that got it that will like come out to a show or keep in touch she still reaches out to me like when I ran for mayor in Burbank she was really proud of me and she did a some corrections in like my mission statement that I put out. She's like, because she's always,

teacher who gets it. Yeah. And my grammar was always bad. You know that. And then so she was like, but yeah, when I do stuff that she'd like, she'll reach out.

She's always pretty proud of me. And then Mr. Nielsen, he passed away. But he really, when I got kicked out of high school with Strider, he actually went to the school and was like, look,

you guys aren't like using this kid, right? If you let him do this, like if you let him host like the news and stuff like that, or if you put him in this program, like he really went to bat for me. And, uh, that's really cool.

I was lucky that way where there was like a few people who I really connected with. So yeah, a teacher who gets it is. Good pick. I mean, it changes the world. Yeah. It changes the world. And it's what you're there for too is to learn. So it does capture that school element.

Yeah. It's probably the only pick on the board. You're a teacher from academia. Oh, Doc. Like, he was huge for you intellectually. His class was good. I didn't connect with him as much as other big students did. Like students really loved to talk.

Yeah, he changed their lives. Yeah. Yeah. He was great. He taught, he taught a good class. He ran out like a college. class, which was good. Yeah.

He was, and he was such a character, dude. But he would get this, he would get the foam out the side of his mouth, you know? Oh, really? Yeah, well,

that drops him a few levels. It does. All right, shreds you up. I was going to say hot teacher, dude. Go with that. Yeah.

Nope, I got to mix it up. To something better. Mils and Carpool. Oh. Dude, I, seeing Mills at pick up and drop off,

unbelievably huge, bro. That's the 12th? That's the 17th? No, it's the 14th pick? I like it. Yeah, bro.

And dude, everyone carpools, dude. Carpool arguably sucks. But when you have a milf, and dude, I had the most unbelievable Angela, dude. I won't say our last name,

but dude. And I was the oldest in carpool and I got a shotgun. This is in junior high? This was all through elementary and junior. It was amazing, bro. Was it Pav? And then, honestly,

no, no, no, no. No, no. And, uh, I just start reeling off dude's mom. Yeah, just hot moms. I see, his mom was a milf, too. But, uh, Yeah, bro.

Just seeing all the milfs, dude. Orange County, too. I mean, unbelievable, dude. No disrespect to you, North Cowboys. But he's a chief guy. We had smokes, bro. Disrespect taken. No, no, no, no.

I think for sure, yeah. I was so grateful. And I love my mom. She's the best. But would it be considered in Milf category. But, dude, there was moms, dude. And, you know, one of our good bros has an unbelievable milf as a mom. And which bro, I don't even know who you're talking about.

I'm just setting you up now. If you respect it, it was her turn to drive, I'm not kidding, you would get stoked like on the team like,

oh, his mom's picking us up today, let's fucking go, dude, I'm just fired up right now. Even better than the mom who would take us for snacks. Hey,

I don't know if you're talking about. Carpool is huge, dude. Yeah. I don't know if you're talking about this guy, but we had two friends who had hot moms and I went to

surf camp with them. And one time they were in the tent and everybody else was gone and I came back to grab someone and I heard them through the tent being like dude you have a hot mom and then the other one went

you have a hot mom and they went that's awesome that's awesome that is really weird I'm serious oh my god oh my god

oh man I'll have your back that is years of therapy that is so many different I don't know like if that's healthy

or not. I mean, like, it's mutually assured destruction. It's like a cold war. Yeah. That's the U.S. and the Soviet Union. And I think it's such a hard thing to be prideful about. Right. So when you find someone, you don't want, you don't want your mom, you know, you don't want to have an ugly mom. Yeah, it's like, you just would like people to not think about your mom. Yeah. It's like, it's like, invisible mom. Yeah. It's kind of like when comedians are like, not many comedians know what it's like to play Madison Square Garden. These guys like, we're like, not many people know what it's like to have. That's right.

I'm on with fat bobs. All right, Jay, you know, I still have some, like, solid ones on the board, but if it,

if this is the last pick, I think sometimes you, you know, you want, you, you, you can take a bit of a swing here. Yes, sir.

I'm going to go with T. Peeing the ops. Bro. Oh, Tee Pee is huge. Wow. Tee thing is huge. The dream, dude. The dream, dude.

It was an incredible time. Yes. Obviously, it starts happening to you. You're living on edge. So, like, for us, the T-peeing.

you know, obviously sometimes you'd just turn on somebody, but toilet papering would also happen during, you can't spell a TP like the way that he did. But she's got a bunch of wigwashed. Jake's like, wait, you would you put TB in? Toilipers. So, we're native. So, we're native. So, this is huge. But it happened a lot for us during powder puff.

because the girls would be playing football and the boys would be doing cheerleading and we would all teepe each other during powder puff so you'd be living on edge during this time and like you'd be afraid I remember my dad run outside and yelling at kids one time but like I was also about that action going out at night and when it's during powder puff you'd get to unite with the girls

so you might have a mixed gender TP event Oh my God We had one of those one time And there was this one girl who was way too giddy to be out there dude ruined her social stock for the rest of the rest of her career. Or dude, you need, oh, I can't believe it. But it is a little, I mean, dude, when you finally, when you get it and you're like, it looks like it just snowed.

It is exhilarating. It is. We TPed the hottest girl in school four Fridays in a row. Oh, nice. And so her parents were ready for us the last time. Yeah. Her dad, like, wrote to the school and was like, my daughter's being targeted. This is amazing.

And then a parent always writes to the school. Yeah. They tried, dude, remember, we had that great night. They tried to, uh, best. They tried to block my car in. We got to do a high-speed chase to try to block me in and I went up on the sidewalk

and drove around. It was amazing. And then we started playing that song in the Laker intro song by whatever it like we would do our getaway song like dude dude it was so and then JT would

there was this other dude that we went to school with you I don't know if I should say his name but you'd always drive away and you go my name's blah blah blah oh I'd frame another guy I'd go

like the dad would be screaming and he's like who are you and I'd go Jeff Cusick I'm Jeff Cusick we'll just drive away dude But dude, that's so huge, bro, when the boys were the best. And it was almost like, like, you kind of would have a crush or whatever.

You want to get caught sometimes. You know what we don't have in our lives anymore as adults is that sense of adventure. Yeah. Like that is a real mission. You're on a fucking mission. You feel like your special forces. We don't know. Nothing is like that anymore.

Yeah. Even drinking. Like, I still like going out and parting and drinking and having fun. But none of it's like, there's nothing I haven't like done before. I'm not like, ooh, what is there? And there's a voice in the back of your head the whole time. Like when I party now, I'll just be like, But dude, you do got to be in bed by.

Like, I'm doing, I'm like, your flights at noon. Yeah. You got to be in bed by two. Yeah. You got that thing. It's like, it's like, yeah. There's a lot more math. A lot more math.

Look at that glorious hand. You can do the duct tape across the street. Oh, go taping at night? Yeah. And then a guy thinks he has the greatest. Oh. A guy thinks he has a flat tire. Huge.

Oh, water ballooning cars. Huge. Dangerous. Dangerous. Yeah. Don't recommend. Don't do it. Yeah.

Just in my buddy's house. Cars will get just come around the corner and. It's fun. So rad. Me and Gives taped some guys and some fucking thug-ass high school kids get on to go, stop the fucking car.

You're like, if we find you, we're gonna beat your fucking asses. I'm hiding in the bush. I'm like, please God, no. Do the worst thing again?

Running over garbage cans. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Or did you going reindeer humping on the holidays, so much fun, dude. Yeah.

And pumpkin stealing around. Yeah. Just basically being a menace. Just being a menace. Being back in Orange County, you see all the kids on their e-bikes and you can tell, like,

they just kind of terrorize the area and you're like, I do miss, like, they are the scariest. Yes. Like high school kids. They're horrifying. They're like trained killers. They don't have a frontal cortex. In an orange county, they have the best attorneys in the world.

Whatever they do, they're going to get off. They'll kill you in your sleep and they'll get off. There's a kid on my street who, I don't know who, he just, he's doing wheelies up in on the street. And whenever I see him, he looks like a tough kid. Yeah, I'm sure. I'll be walking the dog. I'll look down. I won't look at him.

You know he talks about you with his friends like, that guy's a bitch, dude. Yeah, he thinks he serves? You let him out for you. Oh, I like all the time. Yeah, you don't need that. Creamtons just dropped an incredible story. What happened? I heard him and his boys talking.

They're like, dude, you got the call, he got the cops called on him. I was like, man, that's sick. Dude, doorbell ditching dude was pretty epic too. Dude, ring cameras kind of ruined that. Like, I didn't ring your doorbell. It's like, well, I have you on three different cameras. Yeah. Dude, this story by Cream Jeans,

he's a great guy, he's our number one chatter. I went duct taping. I got jumped by five guys when I tried to TP their sister's house. My friend Rand got in his car, drove away and left me for dead. You got beat up by a burger chain?

That's, damn. I didn't even get that. That's good. That's silly. That's good. Dude, Chad, take us home, brother. Dude.

Joey, That's a great pick. Sorry. Thank you. You've got an amazing list. I'm really happy. I'm happy. I'm happy.

I'm happy. I'm happy. You're really crushed. A lot of people were saying Chappelle Lacey, best debut by anyone on the pod in history. I think you're nipping on his heels, dude. I'm just, you know, happy to be here. Okay. The senior streak.

Ooh. Nice. Senior streak. Yeah. Bro, go, go, good. Bro, Teepian got such a pause. I know. I know.

I know. I get the ooh from Strick. Wait, what is the senior streak? That's what I think the issues. I don't think of the explanation. Where I went to high school, right the night before you graduate, everyone went streaking. Oh, you went streaking. We all went streaking.

Oh, I didn't know that. I went to a boarding school. Okay. So, this is old people running around naked. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's just elderly. They don't know. They're lost.

They have dementia. Full new. So I went to a boarding school in Connecticut. So night before graduation, all the senior. they run out of the dorm, we all streak together. Dudes, chicks. We run around the campus. Yeah, I got called out for having a small dong.

It happened to me in seventh grade, too. J.K. Sen. Girl with the Big Bobos, she told everyone at a little dick. It was tough. Monday was hard. Yeah. Jesus. The streak was fun. Yeah.

I feel like I would be nervous for that. I've never been on display at that level. But then you start running and you feel so free. You feel the run is important. You're just standing there. You own it. In seventh grade, she said that. And then by high school, I would streak a lot.

I got suspended for streaking. Yeah. And it was my way of saying, I'm getting out in front of this thing. Yeah. You're not going to lord it over my head that I got a small dick. I'm going to put that fucking small dick in your face. Now who's in charge.

And I think it was... Throw that small dick in your face. And through liberating myself, I think my penis actually grew. It might be a state of mind. I think it was like a psycho-influenced kind of thing. That's cool. Yeah.

There's science behind that. Do you think in the age of like Rayban meta-glasses, the senior streak will continue? Or they're just going to be creeps like live streaming. Oh, damn. Yeah, dude. We kind of ruined things. Now we're out,

it's everything surveilled. Right. Damn. Fucking Palantiers out here. I mean, I'm just having to run. The senior streak I saw my crush's tits. See,

I don't know how I'd handle that. My little wiener was just, how long does it go for? It's probably like 15 minutes. That's a long streak, dude. Well, it was around the whole campus.

Damn. You know what's even scary about the AI, uh, predictive kind of surveillance is that it won't just be, oh, you were streaking, now you're in trouble. It'll get so good. It'll know when you're going to streak and stop you before you even get to that moment.

Peter Thiel's just at your door. And you don't even know it's like precobs and money report. Yeah, we're developing precobs. Yeah, it's like you were going to streak in four days. You're like, well, is I? They're like, yeah, your little dead was going to come out. The conversations were showing all the signs. Dude, that's scary to think about, bro.

Yeah, it's going to be gnarly. but we'll keep the streak alive. Yes, maybe just streaking. Maybe like senior streak, maybe even throw a prank in there. People do the senior prank. Big ones we missed. I mean, we didn't take prom.

We didn't take graduating. We didn't take first day of school. End of finals. First day. The finals. That's huge. What a great liberating feeling. Yeah.

I had first day of senior year in particular. That's big. Right. That one, you're fucking cool. Here's just a side note. I had an illustrious prom career. I think I did five proms. Whoa.

I did two. So this is the greatest. You guys go chicks from other schools? No, this is all one school. Wow. So my sophomore year, I had basically the greatest week of my life.

I got, so I was on varsity a little bit as a freshman, but then went back to JV. My sophomore year, I made varsity baseball as a senior, got my braces off, got my driver's license, and got asked to junior prom,

which I parlayed into a, senior prom. I did a double prom sophomore year right after coming out of the, uh, the winter of having braces. Wow. It's like Vigita going super same. It was like the, I think it, you know, I haven't looked back. Were any of your friends like, hey, you need to chill a little bit here? Like, were you such a burning stuff. A lot of my friends were I, I actually, all my friends to this day from high school are upperclassmen. I think I ascended. I think I ascended a little bit. You did. You still had some people behind. Yeah. I came home from varsity practice one day. and a girl had put goldfish in my sink

and rode on the mirror of all the fish in the sea, I want you to go to prom with me. Whoa. She asked you. That's adorable. Yeah, both girls asked me. It's not even when her formal.

Yeah, no. Yeah. And then I met the senior at that prom and then she asked me to her prom. Get the fuck out. What was the school career you had? It was a good school career. I'm glad we got you for this one, man.

You were well positioned, well poised. Dude. And your finger? too. Yeah. Yeah. Okay.

Do you ever miss like, because like, I have friends like this too who like, do you ever miss the organization of school? Like, do we ever wish adult life

had more ritual built into it? Like, hey, this is the end of the adult year. So and so is going to give a speech. We're actually going to hand out your, but it's hard to know what the community would be

for that and how you would parcel it out. Yeah. But I do feel like, especially in LA, we're just kind of floating around with any demarcation of time or life. You have parties to look forward to. Now it's like,

oh, we have game night. I'm like, no, I want a fucking rager where we're doing Molly. I don't want to play games. But I think you need to have

the other tent pulls. Like it should be like, there should be a dance. Yeah. Like LA should host a dance. It's like weddings now. Yeah, yeah,

but like community. We don't have the community. Yeah. Communities were, that's why like wealthy people have a country club. You know what I mean? Yeah.

That's what it is. It's like their friend. Dude, I was in Vegas and this guy was totally blacked out. Talked me just bragging about your LeBron's, we'll be a clubhouse. I wasn't there.

LeMron, he was at our clubhouse. He really enjoyed our course. Corning me, I was like, amazing. I saw the guy the next day. I go, hey, how's it going, man? He had no idea. He just walked right past me. But I think, like, that's his community.

Like, for what a dork, that guy is, doesn't matter. He has a sense of, but people are like church because of that or like whatever subculture you're into. Yeah. You can church would provide that. You can build small ones. Like, in New York, I live in a building with my wife, 26th floor on the 18th floor. Two of my best friends from high school live.

Really? And so we can ride the elevator down on Sunday. football's on, grab a bottle of wine, charcootry board, hit the elevator. Wow. And so we kind of hit the built. Amazing. Yeah.

Wow. All the right words. Wow. This is nice. It is nice. Being a California guy, how do you like living in New York? No other California guy. That's right.

I absolutely love it because I really like living in San Francisco and coming up through that comedy scene. Why I did the special at the punchline, flawless plug, seamless professional. Let's go. Yeah. But I really like the city ass. And so New York is amazing and I feel like I'm at the center of the universe and it's really cool. I think long term, my wife and I see ourselves back in California.

So for us, it's this really cool, unique experience that we get to have for X amount of years knowing that like when we're building a full community will want to be back. I remember you saying you see yourself ending up in San Diego. Yeah, I, you know, I'm going to have to be in New York or L.A. for the time being. but if I can get, you know, big enough that I can live wherever I want, I would either go back to Silicon Valley or San Diego. Yeah. But I have wanted to,

the way a bunch of comics moved to Austin, form a group of renegade comedians to move to San Diego. I mean, yeah, we're all in. Okay, right? Let's just make it happen. Let's just make it happen to get me to San Diego for years. That's all we need. We just moved to San Diego.

There's five clubs there. There's so many clubs. And they're great. We enjoy our lives. ACC's great. I did mic drop with you. You were so nice. Let me jump on that.

Mike drop's amazing. Laugh factor down there. There's tons of good spots. And then it's like, okay, you got acting shit. You can drive to L.A. Sweet. Awesome. You can get more spots, arguably.

Yes. And then we could go to Santanas and get the burritos and whatnot. California burrito, bro. Our life would be great. So that, I would do the Bay, but I really do see myself as leading a cult of comedians to San Diego at some point. And to get us there,

you're going to have to run up the numbers on that special. Yeah, let's go. Watch the stuff. So listen to the podcast. Joey, let's get the judging. And then let's, oh, yeah, let's judge it. Let's shut it. I had a hyper-specific one that wouldn't make this draft, but it was specific to me.

NCAA football Heisman Watch 2006 Spring Drills Option Attack. And so that's not, that's, brother. Brother, you're speaking directly to me. Okay. Preaching to the choir. Is that like Vince Young? I think Desmond, well, yeah, it was Vince Young. Yeah.

But Judge Howard was on the cover. Oh, yeah. Who you want, so we would play, you know, you pick randoms for the teams, but you want Vince Young. Marcus Vick and Virginia Tech did. You really just want a black quarterback, I'm going to be honest. Yes. Yeah. And so that was a big one for me and my friends.

Bro, when I played as Marcus Vic from Virginia Tech and they had Darrell Tap at defense event, I was a problem. Yeah. Okay. And running the option attack was the most satisfying of everything. It was. And so we would just, we, to this day, I still have a PS2 hooked up at my house. So every Christmas, every Christmas, every Christmas. as my boys come over, we drink a bunch of red wine, and we play the same spring drill from

06 on the PS2. That's so nice. So you guys were even playing the game. You guys were just doing that once. We played the drills. Wow. And the, uh, the soundtrack is immaculate. What was on that one?

There's like, uh, Jeff wears Birkenstocks by no FX. It's like all these niche punk songs that are just great. That's it. The great cover soundtrack. Oh. I think video games back then were just better. I think so, but I can't tell if we're just stuck in the past. It's in a little bit of a lull right now because Call of Duty is like not playing great.

They're too complicated. The King buildings we have now are never been better, but the games themselves. I mean, we have a good run with Call of Duty, Overwatch, Feefe, but like, you know, it's a little lully right now. Yeah. What up, my dog. Legend. Oh, yeah, headphones on. You got a Strider here, you got Chad here, and you got our buddy Joey Avery here.

All right. And we're drafting this. This is Aaron. He's our judge. What up? He's the Lord Decider. So we did best school moments. Obviously, there was a little bit of a latitude in what defines school.

Yeah. Well, I assume you mean high school because I see some of this. And I'm like. We went K through 12, but it did concentrate in that area. And there was some misunderstanding around it. You know we don't like to outline things too much. Yeah, yeah. So do you need me to recap?

Yes. Okay, we've got first makeout, team wins big game, farting in class, senior streak. Then we've got your book day, getting your driver's license, getting bricked in class, T-Ping the ops. Then we have last day before spring, summer break, meeting your crew for life, crewing up, playing the varsity sport, mils in carpool. And then the last one is first rager slash party. First time asking a girl to a dance, high school fist fights, and a teacher who gets it, parentheses, dead poet society. All right. The silence.

Now, I do have to, okay, so these are best school moments. Get picky, Aaron. This is what we want you for. We taught we yeah yes yes well first first I didn't grow up in Orange County so I can say for sure I did not experience Milson Carlin that was a giveaway but you grew up in San Diego weren't there milson and yeah there's so many milson San Diego but not by the beach not by the beach yeah you were a little more inland right you were like an al-cahoun I was like four miles from the beach but not on it were you imperial beach No milfs is kind of crazy

No milts Were you La Costa? What? Did you go to La Costa Canyon? No I haven't dealt with the border So Imperial Beach is actually correct Oh

Whoa Maybe there was no Mils Yeah But Stacy's mom Did you love Jimmy World? Fuck You must have loved Stacy's mom That was a great song

I mean That's a great song That guy died from COVID Obviously Really? Damn. Yeah. These are the first ones.

It was so, shitty. To die from something that's not real. I assume getting brick means getting a boner in class. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know.

They didn't have boners at your school? No milk, no boners, dude. That's true. Downs and fair beach. We got no bones.

Damn, bro. That sounds like a tough way to come up. Dude, where you're from Guantanamo, eight? no i mean certainly there were plenty of boners it was just not a not a thing i was stoked about although it felt good uh although it felt yeah conflicted for sure yeah yeah this fucking boner and also uh farting class was uh one of my greater fears um so i don't know that that's best

for me in particular but that being said um um I am ready to rule. Here we go. And I think my force, I don't know how this even is number one, yearbook day. Oh. Whoa. Yeah. That was, we got a big pop.

Yeah, we were very excited about this list. Dude, we're shocked. And so this is a shocker in contrast to the in-room response. But this is why we like having a distant judge. And you should know, Aaron is very unpredictable. knows. Yeah, I can tell. So yeah, getting your driver's license big, I think that that could have gone number one if I was being picked you like that. But yeah, I think yearbook day. I don't think that was a huge day for us. I think, I mean, are your book?

Just a clarifying question. Were you cool? I was one of six white guys and I think I was the cool. list they're still not cool that's huge though that's a sick way to frame it and that's awesome that you pull that off that's huge that is cool I mean yeah um then for my next one it was a very white bread draft yeah yeah this was like the WB in here I know you're on a phone call we're all white dudes yeah I'm half bro good call good call good call for um It's an NHL draft. I mean, so the next, my third, I love the number one.

I think it is number one. It should have been number one overall. First makeout is amazing, but the whole senior streak thing, I will never understand. It's just never male nudity and group male nudity. Aaron, you should have gone to a perineum-sunning event. Yeah, you would have liked to do. It was really fun. It was really positive.

Black Beach, too, San Diego. Yeah. I don't think you've dropped Dong properly. And I think you should do it with us. Yep. Probably not. I mean, it could be because I'm a grower and a shower. I'd like to see that for myself.

I've got a small penis. Don't make me come over there and pull down your pants here. I'll do it. Aaron, here's the thing. We're going to come to your softball game naked. Yeah. And then we're going to pants you. And we're going to make you pull your dick out.

Dude, I'm picturing the whole thing right now and having a great time. Yeah. It's coming, brother. Softball more like soft hog. Pull that puppy out, limp. So yeah, first makeout amazing. Certainly, team wins the game.

Great. I didn't have a lot of those, but great. Farting class again, not a fan. But when someone else does not. So Chavis saying it's the best when someone else farts and you hear it.

And you do, do you remember that laugh? but you try not to laugh and you go certainly yeah he said certainly dude certainly was not the energy we've been getting pretty like we're in high school right now

Aaron is our principal dude for like two hours Aaron's a principal he's telling us we've all been misbehaving yeah Aaron sorry for being hard on you right now but this is person yeah we're just we've gone total

we're ready to paint you're a beast You're making good calls. Yeah. Everything you're doing so far is perfect, actually. And then for my second place, I think I loved playing a varsie sport. I think it's in the right spot there. Meeting your crew for life, if you're lucky enough to do it.

I unfortunately did not. I don't talk to anybody I went high school with, including my four closest buddies. One of them is married to my ex, a whole other story. We've talked about that. He's gone. That's fucked up. Sowna non-grots. Yeah, but yeah, I think last class before summer break is awesome.

Nelson Carpool, I said, I didn't experience, but I think this is a good second place. So my number one, first rager, first party, first time asking Grover dance, high school fist fights, which always happened the day I was absent, but whatever, maybe I'm a peacemaker. And the teacher who gets it, for me was Mr. Olmsted. He's my video teacher. Look what I'm doing today. Nice. Yeah, amen, brother. That was the best part of high school for me,

was having an adult male figure who knew what was up. So that is my winner. Who drafted that? That was me, dude. Nice. J.T. got the dub, Joey. I thought you would know it was me by a mile, too,

just from the movie ref at the end in the fight. But yeah, dude, psych. Thank you, Aaron. I did not think I was going to take this one. So I'm very competitive. You know, today I was less competitive. And I got the dub. So maybe that's a good.

lesson to me to a you know the peaceful chill way is the way if I would have gone hot teacher instead of milson carpal would that have done something for you that probably could that could have won it you had a great list what do you say never i never had personal experience with it unfortunately with a hot teacher it was never going to happen to you was her old stuff jacked do i remember one time in fourth grade i had a hot teacher yeah she was like talking to me she had her hands on her knees saw her bra under her shirt I had on my list being pretty sure the hot teacher wants to smash. And I think that pretty sure is very important because fully sure is a problem.

Yes. But pretty sure is right there. And I had that with our hot teacher. But there was real rumors that she actually did fuck a couple students. That's how they get every student. It does happen. It does. It seems like almost every school has a situation where a teacher gets with a student.

And always like the daily mail will like get a photo of the teacher and like all the comments will be like I would have fucked her Oh yeah, the savagery. We had a teacher who I do think got in trouble for that and a couple years after high school was at a bar and I was with some girls from high school like girls who were now 21 but who had gone to high school together and he came up and he threw his arms around all of us and he said, I'm not your teacher anymore. Oh no no no no. And the faces we all made. It was like he literally pooped in our mouths. We were like, Oh, my God, that's horrible. Get away from us. Well, Aaron, thank you, brother.

What would have been, your number one would have been teacher who gets it? No, I think you got a great list. I think that's a great order. All right. For the teacher who gets it is sealed it for me that this is. Oh, okay, copy, copy. Well, Aaron, thank you, brother. We love you.

You crushed it. Thanks, Aaron. Can't wait to pants, you, dog. Yeah, I can't wait to see that. We're going to see that big, dude. That big one, sorry. We're gonna get you and Joe at the same time. We're literally gonna go over to ATC with like ski masks on and pepper spray.

We're gonna fucking pin you guys and pull your cocks out. Yeah. And dude, for your birthday, I'm taking you to Fashion Island in Orange County to just go milf hunting, dude. Dude, I went to R&D last night. Oh, really? Oh, bro. I asked them about, I missed them about your mom. Yeah.

Did they know her? I was like, this guy's like, I'm not really in that section. And she's more of lunchtime. Yeah, I was like, I told him, I was like, she's a lady who lunches. Yes. I love that, dude. All right. Well,

Grasios, Aaron. Stratter the Mill Thunder. Great, great series, great program. Yeah. The pickups changed my life on that.

Remember when porn used to do that? They don't do that in porn anymore. Porn used to have the, let's drive out into the world, meet the girl and seduce her back to the place. They don't do that. I miss that part of it. Yeah.

The first porn I watched was called, We Live Together, and it was a bunch of chicks, and they would just go out into the street and meet other chicks, and then, like, a bunch of chicks would just have sex. Awesome. Yeah, it was sweet.

That's so fucking heterote, dude. It was great. No dicks. Yeah. You're like lesbian porn. Well, I was a young man. I've progressed. This is like the first stuff that I found.

I was like, I was probably like fourth, fifth grade. That's a good pick is first time watching porn. Yes, Hunter Bedrosian's house like six of us. It was awesome. So I thought that was going to come out because someone you alluded to it. And it's funny because there is the group porn watch moment. and when I do, this is an odd aside, but when I sing karaoke, if I'm feeling spicy,

I will do Iris. And there's about a two minute musical break. And so I usually just go on a rant about the first time that you watch porn together with the boys. And how everyone knows not to whip their dong out out except for one guy. And then that guy kind of drifts from you. Yes.

And then you don't know where he is now. And you got to build your little forts. You know, everyone's gets a little masturbation. No, the reason I brought up the porn, when I used to throw high school ragers, I threw a huge one, like Project X-Extile. And I put porn on all the TVs, which was intense. At the time, do you have like DVDs, video tapes?

What were you doing? My parents had a robust collection. And I, Jimmy'd open their, like, little thingy, and I pulled them out and put them on all the TVs. And did you, were you playing? Sorry, Mom and Dad. Did they have VHS or DVD? Both. It was like the most organized thing in the house.

It was wild. Dude, I ruined a Christmas party too recently with this plan. Me and the T3 boys, we were like, flipping through channels at a Christmas party. And the girl's very classy, and she was throwing, like, a really nice Christmas party. And there was just, like, porn, like, on the, on the Direc TV. So we just put it on. And, like, we thought it was so funny.

And the more the, we're in our 30s at this point. The more of the girls were, like, kind of getting mad at it, the funnier we thought it was. And we weren't supposed to do that. But it was pretty fun. But that's that mischief we're saying is missing. You got to do that stuff. All right. That was fun, guys.

Joey, guys, check out his special. Yep, check out the special. Joe Avery Live in San Francisco. And also check me out on the road. I have a shitload of tour dates up. Joey Avery.com. They're all on my website, as is the special. Generally, an awesome comedian, guys.

An awesome guy. Go watch him. Very hilarious. Annie, a full new hour. Yeah, full new hour. So if you watch the special and come to any of these dates, I got a full new hour, so there will be no repeats. I like Dallas Comedy Club.

Oh, yeah, Dallas Comedy Club's great. And you do Naples? Have you been to Naples? I have you been to Naples? I have not actually been in Naples. I'm excited to go. Yeah, we haven't done that one. Hey, when you're in Dania, get a Arepas from doggies.

Oh, dude, they're, yeah. Incredible. I will do that. There's also Milf in Dania. Yeah, I believe that. Yeah, let's rank these by Milf cities because I think, I think Dallas might be a sneaky milf city, San Francisco and Sacramento. How's that New Mexico comedy club?

I've never been. I've never heard of that one. Yeah, it's, I think it's in a. I'd like to go out there. We've never done that, Mark. Yeah, I think it's in a, Are you doing riot fest? Oh, Bernalillo?

No, no, I'm not. Yeah, I don't know. Apparently it's called Bernalillo and it's like, it's in a casino. That one could be good or bad, let's be honest. Casino could be tough. Yeah, but. But you're a fighter. You know, I'm a fighter in New Mexico.

The land of a chairman. Like a kidnap a newscaster's mom. Oh, I've driven by there. Guys, go see the special. And then if you watch the special and you listen to this pod, we get enough numbers. We'll start the San Diego Exodus. That's right. That's the movement we're trying to kick off.

So watch it, guys. Firetown USA.