Going Deep with Chad and JT - Ep. 103 - Strider and Matty Chymbor Join

Episode Date: November 21, 2019

What up dudes, in this episode we are joined by our dawgs, Strider and Matty Chymbor. We dive into architecture, self driving cars, comedy and other dank things. Check it out!

what's up stokers of stoke nation this is chad kroger coming in with the going deep with chad and jt podcast i'm here with my compadre john thomas we got strider we're here with our dog maddie chimbor what up dude how you doing okay thanks for having me coming hot with some fresh temp visa stoke nash thanks for having me it's a work visa how was it how's work today it's just a classic monday dude you know what project are you guys working on right now went and visited with the people at writer's guild you ever go to writer's guild i think we talked about this before yeah i've never been there it's on fairfax yeah it's a good looking building i know thanks to pop over here met with

that guy we're gonna redo the front i don't there's no nda so i can talk about this nice get new steps uh what else you just gotta just line things up like set up some meetings for tuesday um dude maybe you guys should put like a ramp in there instead of steps because writers are always lost in their thoughts like maybe like you know scribbling some phrases while they're cruising oh we're putting ramp and just put a nice little right dude i got you you know are you guys gonna keep because they have quotes from like movies like famous lines like i'm mad as hell from like network it's all over like the walls on the bottom floor yeah oh that on the it's like blue yeah that's going away that's

going away what's's going away? What's it going to get replaced with? Just clean look. So we're doing away with the quotes. No quotes. I think they're probably going to focus on that on the inside. Copy that. Yeah.

Oh, this is on the outside right now. Yeah, it's like a graphic on the glass. And you're an East Coast guy. Yeah, Connecticut, baby. Oh, nice, dude. Make some noise. What do you think? What do you think?

Sorry. Where are you from in Connecticut? It's called Meriden. baby oh nice dude make some noise what do you think what do you think sorry sorry where are you from connecticut it's called meriden it's like 20 minutes north of new haven it's just a simple city would you go to yale a lot i worked right next to yale architecture firm nice it's pretty good i would frequent that campus dropping stuff off new haven's a rough it's like weird because it's a very nice area and then there's parts that get pretty rough. Yeah, I noticed that around there. Pizza in New Haven is the best in the country. And if anyone has beef with that, come at me, because I will defend it. Yeah, if they got beef, it's not pepperoni.

I imagine it is. It's too hot. The pizza's too hot. It's too thin. It's like paper. I'm not going to New Haven for pizza. I'm sticking with deep dish, dumbass. Dude, Yale looks like Hogwarts. Dude, Yale is Hogwarts. It looks like it. For pizza. For candy. Sticking with deep dish, dumbass.

Dude, Yale looks like Hogwarts. Dude, Yale is Hogwarts. It looks like Yale. Watch a little gremlins walk around in nerds. Did you not like the kids there? No. Did you meet them much? I went to a few Yale parties. Oh, you did?

Nice. Just bodied them and took their chicks. How about that? Very smart. Good school. What do you think is the difference between connecticut and california in terms of the uh the dispositions which not i don't know that word like the personalities oh do you really not know that word yeah i've heard it in passing

well first off it's smarter out here uh we ball i was talking to a friend last night about this and i don't know you guys think you do we ball bus back home you and we've talked about this you guys are so like very emotional people out here where like your friends like you see in movies like hey good job today buddy you're like thanks man like no one in connecticut ever says that to their friend like if my friend we're all in a room drinking and they go you know i'm proud of everyone in here i'd be like what the fuck are you doing right now yeah it is insult until you can't take it and just deal with it we have a rough bushy i think we started that way we had that when we were youngsters and then um maybe it just broke

us all too much out here my first like year in in California, people were just like, this kid's an asshole. Because you bob us, and I'm like, oh, I like this kid. And then, not to name names, an employee at a comedy club, I was like, eh, whatever, you fucking whatever. I said some stupid shit. But I genuinely liked the kid. And then one day, the owner pulled me aside. He goes, yeah, we got a complaint that you're harassing one of our employees. And I was like, what?

I go, I like everybody here. And then it came to come to find out he just misunderstood the ball, the ball bust. I had that in high school. I got suspended for like bullying. And they were like, you're suspended for bullying. I was like, I was like, I was like, what? Nick? Nick's a great guy.

I was like, Nick and I are buddies. Well, Nick thinks otherwise. They were like, Nick wants to leave the school because of you. Yeah. I was like, what? Nick? Nick's a great guy. I was like, Nick and I are buddies. He's like, well, Nick thinks otherwise. They were like, Nick wants to leave the school because of you. Yeah. Yeah, I was crushing this girl and I. We were like courting each other in high school and she was from New Jersey. And I'd be like, yeah, I'm from California. She's like, oh, are you from California?

Are you from California, idiot? I was like, what are you doing? Dude, she likes you. Yeah, she liked me. I was like, why do you keep talking to me like this? She's like, I like you, idiot. I was like like this? She's like, I like you, idiot. I was like, what? She's like, I like you, dumbass.

You can't take it. You little dick dummy. Show me that little dick. You're like, I don't hear it in your voice. Yeah, she's like, hey, you want to go grab drinks, pencil dick? I'm like, uh, what? At your wedding, she's like, I can't live without you, you stupid piece of shit. Yeah, dude, that'd actually be a good thing.

Through sickness and in health, and this idiot's always sick, moron, in all your hands. Because you don't know where your shoes when you go outside. What a moron. When those girls dump you, they sit you down and go,

you're really nice, and I think you're sweet, and then see? It's the opposite. Oh, yeah. Right. Oh, dude. It's actually,

I dated a girl who was kind of like real ball-busty, and then there would be moments where she'd be like, hey, I want you to know something. Like, I really like spending time with you, and I'd be like, what the hell's going on here it's weird i wasn't ready for it i was like because she would always be mean to me and then so when she would be nice i'd be like are you okay what is this right now are you really drunk or something that's like dad love dude she's like giving you dad love where

like she's like she's never nothing's ever good enough you don't do it quite right like a day late buck short always and then when your dad's actually proud of you and like says good job what are you dying are you sick shut up what's going on you panic shut up dad shut up you tell that to the girl you're like shut up dad she's like what i'm sorry do you miss the ball busting are you kind of like walking i think i found a a group you know i think we all give it to each other and, you know, it's not like what it is. I do miss it. But it's weird because

I think I'm getting soft out here because sometimes I go home and I find myself. I think you're definitely getting soft. You're so soft. I would pick on you but you're so soft. I'm scared you'll leave the podcast. The thing is, we do all grill each other, dude. We just don't do it to you.

Yeah, we keep you out of it because we don't want to bust you too hard. You see me crying in my car after this? It was a setup. You grabbed me like, call me a name. Call me a name, right? Call me a dick. You are soft, you piece of shit. Yeah, yeah.

My boys. All right. Yeah. No, I feel like when I say getting soft, you know i was at 100 when i came out here when i go home maybe i'm at like 97 but that three percent sometimes i'm like hey guys tone it down yeah i was at 110 now i'm just at 100 you guys are olympic olympic athletes of grilling each other dude that that's that decimal percentage of a second dude it's a difference between a gold medal and a seventh place if you pull, they smell it on you and they attack.

Yeah. You have to, like, do... That's, like, my friends, I know five things that will piss all of them off to the point of almost punching me in the face. Right. And you say all those, but you don't get to that point. And then you guys all realize you humble each other and then you go drink and fuck around. Yeah, I made fun of one of my friends one time for his aunt being dead or something. Wait, what?

That wasn't all of the joke. The joke was that he loved to play guitar and he would play these really long solos. And I was like, you play this solo for your aunt Maude's... Oh, his aunt. I thought you meant the bug. No, his aunt. I was like, his aunt.

And the joke wasn't really about that but that was like a component of like a more elaborate joke and then he was like he got really sad and i was like wow i've gone way too far because then after that you have to be like what dude are you what are you sad are you sad i made fun of your dead relative this bitch you hear yourself defending your thinking you're like oh this is like not a good angle dude i see that in the roast sometimes people who are going to do roasts at the comedy store they're like some of those are rough like all right what's some dirt i can get oh his brother killed himself oh that's good stuff i'm gonna totally zone in on that you're like you're like dude i don't think that's roasting dude yeah

there's no punch lines this happened on this date you're like uh yeah yeah yeah 1997 you heard the funeral heard the funeral sucked jesus christ actually beautiful like whatever bitch yeah exactly yeah eddie had trouble walking into the club because he wears glasses and the guy's like your brother killed himself and he's like oh oh we're doing this okay we just got back from new york too and we were like dealing with East Coast energy. But it was great. I loved it. After a couple days, I was like, man, I want to live here.

It's awesome. Yeah. But we got into a cab ride when we got there, and I asked the cab driver, I was like, what's up? How's your day going? He just looked at me and was like, nah. But going back to the ball busting, I guess it's not all insults, but you know if they like you right away.

Right. Within the insults, you can tell, oh, this person, you're meeting who they are 100%. You know, like, yeah, they might be a little edgy, but within seconds, you're like, oh, this is my boy. And there is a flip side to that where they're very hospitable and all this stuff. Out here, it's the niceness that lures you in, and then you realize they're not hospitable. So it's like a trick. You're like, what the fuck is going on right now? Where you're like, hey, it's my, and then you're like, and then you realize they're not hospice. So it's like a trick. You're like, what the fuck is going on right now?

Where you're like, Hey, it's my, and you're like, dude, I met some great friends out here. And then it comes down where they have to really be friends. And you're like,

Oh, you're kind of like a piece of shit. Outwardly cruel, but inwardly awesome. Yeah. And then it's the opposite. Well, I guess there's no cruel.

The cruelness is, yeah, it's the opposite. Yeah. It's the iciness when you need them. Yeah. Hey, Hey,

my friend Melissa was saying in Texas, the like, like a lot of the moms are like that. Where they're like, oh my God, you're so beautiful. You're so wonderful. And then they're like, but actually you can never come to an event at our house or anything. Yeah. I like receiving the busting. I can't dish it out though. It just doesn't, it just sounds disingenuous.

Or just like, I guess I'm not hard enough for it. You gave it to me pretty disingenuous or just like i'm i guess i'm not hard enough for it you gave it to me pretty good earlier i felt i felt the push i was playing a character piece of shit but just roast as joe and that sounds good but like my brother come home and be like dude can you beat the shit out of me yeah i got some issues like a punching bag of words attention yeah yeah i love that kind of love yeah it's it's everyone they're giving it to you it's good dude it's healthy we read an article about a dion waiters taking an edible and then having a panic attack on the miami heat plane he's been suspended for 10 games for it he should have to eat another one as a punishment that is a good punishment you're so dumb and heard the same story throughout the country for the last five

years and you still ate it guess what eat another one but i think he's unhappy with his role and like he was complained he got suspended previously because yeah and so i think he took the edible because he's feeling down on himself in the situation with the team so i think the coach just needs to go up to him and be like, hey, man, it could turn around. He could get more minutes at some point. They should have cut him mid-panic attack. Oh, man.

Guess what? When we land, you're playing for the trailblazers. They're all wearing scream masks. No way, dude. I've never taken an edible in my life, and there's no good track record of these things. I'm not taking one. Because the rules for ed these things. I'm never going to do it. I'm not taking one.

Because the rules for edibles are always like, here's the big bar. It's like 25 grams. It's a brownie that looks delicious. But honestly, dude, if you look at it in the wrong light, it's going to fuck you up, dude. You're going to fucking think you're going to die. If you open it wrong. Yeah, you open it or you smell it, dude. Honestly, let a few crumbs fall out, dude.

Let it sit here. You're going to buy it in June. Eat it in December. Then you're going to be good to go for that. I'm like, what the fuck is this? Like the plutonium in here? Dude, I'm not going anywhere with fall out, dude. Let it sit here. You're going to buy it in June. Eat it in December. Then you're going to be good to go for that. I'm like, dude, what the fuck is this? Like the plutonium in here? Dude, I'm not going near this thing, dude. I like how they mimic normal food serving sizes with like the portion, but then the

actual serving size is like the corner. You're like, then make it the corner. Correct. Why are you giving me, it's like giving you a bowl of soup and they go, just smell the broth. You're like, what the fuck was that? Exactly. I heard from my hairdresser, Jess, shout out, that you can like what the fuck exactly i heard from my hairdresser jess shout out that you can

you can like get different percentages and like you'd be like they'll be like uh you'd be like hey i want like a lower dose and they'll be like all right well this one is 12 this one is i can do that is that a thing i've had yeah i think so because i mean sure but it is hard to know how it's going to hit you because like you know how much you ate that day where your tolerance is at how much slept you've had it is like a rough science but i've had some of the best experiences in my life on edibles but i've also had some of the worst and as i've tried to narrow the extremes i'm just giving them up no dude last yeah that's rough last time i took an edible my buddy george called me he said it was the president i thought it was president really

he got you baby he's like this is the the president. I was like, I was laughing though. I was like, what's up, dude? George. What's up, president? You piece of shit. I was trying to bust his balls. What's up? Yeah, you fucking dick.

On your edibles were bad news when my roommate in college, remember that video, the Malibu video when the guy's like, I took the most excellent hit of my life and fucking bounced back to the American Gladiator guy. Yeah. He's a total legend. I love that guy. And it's a great video. My roommate in college took an edible legend. I love that guy. And it's a great video. My roommate

in college took an edible and couldn't handle that video was like, and I kind of didn't understand what it was at the time. So I wasn't like teasing him to be honest, like, which is mean, but I was like, dude, just watch the clip. And like, he's like, no, no, dude, I can't, I can't look at that clip. I'm like, ha ha, just watch it. He's like, seriously, dude, put the clip away. I can't hit on the clip. And so I did finally put it away. But I was like, whoa, like this is insane to me. Like something that I know that you like, like I like i was like dude just watching youtube clips like you would do in college or whatever and then yeah dude i've had that i took an edible one time when we did a fantasy football draft and you came up to me and you were trying to talk to me about

wide receivers and i was like i was like fantasy football is arbitrary real football is arbitrary i was like friendship is arbitrary you know i was like i gotta talk to you later yeah i was like i can't do this i was like i can't do this conversation i didn't i took some before book of mormon with my mom and my brother we all took edibles and i had to leave 20 minutes into the show no i had to go home and just sleep it off if i was if i was high right now i would be freaking out right now i think i't breathe. And then I would think you guys are still making fun of me from earlier. They're not even looking at me. Do you have friends who gets down and they can't take the ball

busting anymore? They're like, do you really mean that? Uh, I don't think I've ever made fun of friends when they're high. I think we'd now probably. Cause that's kind of sacred. You let them,

you let, you're like, oh, he's high. Let him, let him. That's like a, that's like kicking a man while he's down.

Right. They're already scared. Yeah. The anger, the direction. I wish they got more specific with it. They'd be like, take this edible and it'll make South Park even funnier. And you're like, that's the kind of edible I want. You can direct it at a thing.

Yeah. So you're like, all right, when I take this edible, that's what I'm going to do. I'm going to watch South Park. This one makes food taste a thousand times better. I feel like they all do. Yeah, that's just awful. going to do. I'm going to watch South Park. This one makes food taste a thousand times better. I feel like they all do. Yeah, that's... It's just awful. Weed's amazing for that.

You ever do salvia? Remember salvia? I never tried it. I've done salvia. Bro, that was like a psych... That makes weed look just like a roller blade through a park. Yeah. Like salvia.

Was it more intense? I remember you take one hit and the room just started spinning and i kept saying i don't like this and then my roommate's like okay buddy like calm down but it lasts like 10 seconds but it feels like like 10 minutes that's what i hear yeah and it's like breaks your brain for like you're smoking like it's just like brown shit that's like dmt too right it's only supposed to be like an hour but you feel like it's been like a thousand years i heard that through like the nebula oh youtube people on dmt just to see them on their couch like. What do they look like?

They're just kind of their eyes shut being all weird shit. I just like watching that stuff. Just watching addicts, baby. Watching some troubled youth and I'm just sitting there. It's the most privileged thing on earth. I was watching Troy Casey's Instagram and he's like, I did ayahuasca and I just did breathing exercise for four hours straight. Apparently he's not ayahuasca and I just did breathing exercise for four hours straight. Apparently he's on ayahuasca. He just...

He's like, are you all right, dude? He's like, let me feel this primal nature. Get the fuck out of here, dude. My cousin Shaman got robbed when he was on ayahuasca in a Brazilian village. Dang. But he said the robbers, they were robbing everybody who was on ayahuasca. He thinks that the shaman might have set it up. Yeah.

Jesus Christ. But my cousin lived off of his laptop and he said he appealed to the robber. And he worked as a translator for the robber to get everybody's stuff together. And at the last beat, he told the robber, he said, please don't take my laptop. It's my livelihood. And he said that the robber said, hey, you've treated

me well as I did my job, so I won't interfere with your job. And let him keep his laptop. Love that code. Dude, what a good understanding. What a good rainforest. seriously yeah dude honor among thieves your loyalty is commendable yeah i bid you adieu and he's twirled away you're like the fuck was that i won't take your laptop but i will take your pants yeah he's like give me that dude we also read an article about the guy who invented labradoodles what some would say is the cutest dog in the world and he says it's his greatest regret and

that he created a monster i was really surprised by this this guy i opened a pandora's box and released a frankenstein monster and then it was the cutest picture of a labradoodle right it's a lot to say coming from a guy who watches dogs fuck all day like hey buddy i think there's worse things out there than your cute ass curly dog he sees a lab rat on the street oh god get that beast away from me like you started this buddy what the hell are you talking about what's your guys's favorite dogs i mean dude a lab is a great dog a golden retriever great dog great calls i had a lab growing up i had a lab growing up as dude, a lab is a great dog. A golden retriever, great dogs, dude. Great calls. I had a lab growing up. I had a lab growing up as well.

You had a lab. Yeah, they're amazing. That story's creepy because, like, in the thing, if you read, he's like, he'll get, like, calls and be like, yeah, I got a blind lady in Georgia who needs a dog. And he's like this mixologist for animals. And he's like, all right, I got this idea I'm working on. Yeah. It was weird how he, like, thinks. So I'm like, dude, that's psychotic.

And he's like, if that's the worst one, I'm like, there was worse than that. Right. He's had other mutts that he's created. Like, where are these dogs? That he doesn't even want to talk about. He goes, those are somewhere else. Like a dachshund and a German shepherd. Yeah.

Which took months to cajole into having sex with. Yeah. His legs weren't long enough to walk. So we kind of just push it around. But it's a pretty good dog. I love a bulldog. I mean, even though a bulldogdog bit my finger so i don't love that bulldog as much uh but fuck that bulldog a french bulldog they're so freaking bulldog puppies are you ever see robin big when he got the meaty no did you ever see that do you guys want i used to love her i used

to love robin it's a great show yeah great dynamic uh anyways those dogs from their puppies are like they split up, though. That was one of the saddest breakups in history. That crushed me. Big didn't want to do the show anymore. Dude, fucking... Rest in peace to you. R.I.P., dude.

What happened to him? Legend, dude. I think just being too big. Just too big. Too big. Yeah. People die from being too big. Yeah.

Do people die from being too small, too? Yeah. What's up with size, dude? Dude, size matters, though. Hey, size does matter. bodies the people don't be too small too yeah what's up with size dude size matter size hey size yeah my favorite thing about bulldogs is they can't be birthed naturally they have to be cut out whoa because their heads are too their domes are too big yeah and they just rip open the vagina can we give dogs a break let them like read let the dust settle so we can they can like live their lives without like yeah these chihuahuas you actually have to like thrust its hips into the girl one because

we've catered it too much crazy dude dogs i think have like specific i remember like reading some article at some point dude but like dogs genetics they're able to adapt so quickly like that where like a new breed can be created like it's pretty unique it's a weird strange yeah it's like one generation they're good to go you can't do that with other species yeah i don't think they don't have that adaptability yeah i think dogs are kind of unique in that way and i'm sure that people haven't tried that much i mean maybe it has with others but i don't know like maybe not cats or whatever i don't know they're like play-doh didn't he say genetic play-doh dude yeah like is a is a hummingbird and an eagle are they the same in difference as like a dachshund

and a like uh australian shepherd yeah that's an interesting thing like where they fall like are they from the same genus phylum yeah i would say yeah but i'm curious to see they should make like a chart from like parakeet to like falcon yeah Yeah. Dude, falcons are my favorite. Dude, falcons. They're the fastest, right? 200 MPH. I saw a video where they're coming straight down at you like diving for prey. Well, that thing sees you like a year away.

It's like three miles away and it's just watching you and you're just like eating a hot dog in a park. And you have to love how birds bone, too, where they will consummate the bond before hitting the ground, dude. They've got to risk it all to get there. Oh, they're free falling? Oh, yeah. Oh, wow oh yeah they say they say triple f falcon can do their edgy dude that's so romantic 240 240 240 miles per hour dude what regal looking bird dude you ever see those dudes like those out those guys like where they have like falcons like hunt like fox or something like that right like hunt like fox or something like that right falconeers or something that's crazy dude dude being a falconeer would be

a sick thing dude like if you're from a different era of time sometimes i'll freaking be going to bed at night just thinking about stuff dude like my day and then a lot of times i'll start fantasizing while i'm about to pass out and i'm like dude if i lived in a different era what where would i want to be or like what I do? I think about our contacts. I'm like, I'd be fucked, dude. I can't hunt. I can't defend any village. But you're good with your hands.

I am good with my hands, dude. You'd be a masseuse. You'd be like a candle maker. Dude, yes. Oh, dude. And that would be necessary. Like, dude, you want to have light? You want light?

You got a battle tomorrow, dude? You want to drop your plans? You're going to need some light for that. I got you. I think I'd be a horse tamer. Ooh, that's great. Yeah. That that's great i'd run around with horses i'd be like a reluctant hairdresser like i don't want to do this i go well guess what but dude you'd also be a doctor cut the hair if your dad was a barber you're gonna be a barber that should be a movie back in the day i don't want to cut hair well guess what you could cut pubes dude

you could be manscaped you could take your your, you know, 21st century knowledge, bring it back there. You could do like a medieval story about a guy whose dad wants him to be a knight and he just wants to be a hairdresser. And it's like. That's like the movie Year Without a Santa Claus. Billy Elliot, but 500 years ago. The elf didn't want to build toys. He wanted to be a dentist and they go build the fucking toys. Is that real?

Yep. It's a real story. I think I'd be an Oracle if they still had Oracles oracles oh i'd be fired up if you were an oracle profit i'd try to be a profit the company oracle yeah you're making bank dude i'm stoked on oracle their profit margins yeah and if you started that company 600 years ago you'd be so ahead of the car dude also dude you'd meet so many heroes dude because so many heroes stop by on their journey to freaking post up with an oracle and get advice so like that'd be you can you can set them on the path to their hero's journey yeah or you can completely fuck it up true true like you'd be like dude you should go to the black lake that's where

the monster is that you need to slay and he's like and then he goes and he's like dude there's nothing there yeah they don't oracles are almost never wrong in stories. But what about the oracle? He's like, oh, did I tell you to go there? Oh, dude. Did you have my scroll again? Oh, yeah, you're supposed to go to the forest. My bad, dude.

You've got to understand there's a ton of pressure on this job, right? I'm trying to set you on the right path to fulfill prophecy. And sometimes I worry i'm not qualified i've been super overbooked lately my brain is haywire this is going through a breakup okay my visions are not coming in clear mrs oracle's on the way out give me this i didn't for some reason yeah i'm not to see this i'm blind when it comes to my lady i'm a middle man i send people to the forest. I send people to the volcano. I send people to, you know, whatever the enchanted valley of crystals.

Like, there's nymphs coming to me. They want business. They need people going there. Yeah. Come on. Sorry I'm late, Danny. Just, he threw out some fire jungle juice. I'm like, my head's pounding right now.

But I think the dragon's over there. Just go that way. I think I saw it when I was walking over here. You're going to know when you see it, dude. You're going to know. There's no mistaking a dragon for not dragon. I've definitely seen a dragon. Most dragon movies, it's about being friends with the dragon.

You got Reign of Fire with McConaughey, where it's about killing a dragon. For sure. But then you got How to Train Your Dragon and Dragonheart. Dragonheart, great movie. And they're about budding. Great song, too. The score from that movie is fire.

No pun intended. Wasn't it dragons and just peach dragon? The ones in Lord of the Rings were not good. Well, they weren't really like monsters. The Desolation of Smaug.

I never watched The Hobbit once. The Hobbit was trash. Yeah, it looked long. It looked long. Dude, The Hobbit was 3D garbage. You can't blow the load and then be like oh by the

way we have a boring story we got nine hours more dude yeah right this is how you know how it ends yeah you want nine more hours it's like watching a porn and then going back and watching them on the date you go yeah right you saw the cool part it's just benedict cumberbatch in one of those like patchy suits like in a studio in burbank being like and it's my gold why are you doing that just came came over for a 45 minute dragon monologue. I'm like, I'd rather watch Benedict Cumberbatch do that in real time in Burbank.

I'd be like, this is incredible what this guy's doing. Aaron, did you see The Hobbit? You know it, bro. What? I saw the first one in three different formats. Whoa, dude. What are the three formats? i frankly don't like your tone they did it they shot it in like 48 frames a second or something like that for the 3d so it

was like slow-mo yeah no it's it's supposed to be better for 3d but i don't know i didn't i didn't think it was any better than regular 3d and then i I saw it in regular. Did you like the movie? Yeah, they definitely didn't need to be... It should have been two big movies. Right. What's your favorite Lord of the Rings? Fellowship. I'm a Fellowship fan. That was a great one.

Dude, that got me amped. Two Towers is solid, though. That's a great middle movie. Yeah. It is incredible. I love that movie. But Fellowship's probably the most pure gets me so fucking gone they're so good dude i gotta i gotta admit i wasn't into get the fuck

oh dude there's no lightsabers true true true gandalf is a monster yeah dude yeah he's playful when he comes back you thought i was dead no dude he forgot. He forgot his name? So dang, dude. Oh, that's right. I was a badass. I just can't get on board with medieval movies, because I was like, it's literally the time of no stoke. Although this is middle, whatever the world is. The hobbits have some stoke. They're frothing.

They're partying. They're drinking. Yeah. I guess they get after it. They're chugging, dude. They do smoke dank. Oh, yeah. Dude, Bilbo's got a fat pipe, dude.

Not fat, but long, dude. They're getting ripped at that party and fellowship yeah and then they and then they're stoked you're like you're like oh these little stoked dudes they probably only get stoked but then you see them fight for what they believe in and you're like throw down oh these are just from formidable little stokers dude they got big feet from a bit of little fuckers dude yeah and there's eagles dude and freaking gemley's legit dude he's like just freaking has principle and stuff and you get fired up on that dude so it's sick dude i think i'm just more partial to like modern accoutrement i can respect that dude yeah like i'm fired up on that like there's no room service

there's no room service there's no postmates there's no jeep wranglers i love a jeep wrangler ubers are called ants dude ants just get up on an Ent. Yeah, you get up on an Ent and you cruise, dude. There's Eagles, dude, which I guess would be like Uber XL, like a little more expensive. That's a fancy one.

I remember being mad at the Ents because they were so good at kicking ass. Like, they just take down, like, I think it's Saruman's castle like with relative ease. Oh, those trees?

Yeah, and they were like, yeah, but we don't fight. I was like, whoa. Yeah, like you just threw down. I'm like, well, you're pretty good at it, so how about you help out like the Coalition for Good and like, let's, you know threw down. I'm like, well, you're pretty good at it. So how about you help out like the coalition for good?

And like, let's, you know, stick a fork in Sauron. But dude, was this Tolkien's message that we don't, you know, evil persists when good men do nothing,

dude. And you know, these ants are just posting up in their forest, chilling. And then they see that Sauron has straight up deforesized the freaking forest, dude, to fuel his army of orcs. And then they see that and the,

the evil has touched them. And only then did they act, dude.cs and then they see that and the the evil had touched them and only then did they act dude right when they got skin in the game yeah yeah you know i can't blame him he stepped on that orc real quick though at the beginning yeah dude later did those trees are legit stoked on those trees yeah what are they called ants those are the ants yeah they're the best their ants are fired up Well, now I'm fired up on this conversation. Dude, let's go. Why don't they just call them living trees? Stoke has been reignited.

And then the living trees come out and wreak havoc. I'm like, I know exactly what you're talking about, Togen. They just name everything for what it is. Then the wizard fought the dwarfs and the trees kicked someone in the face. I wish real life was like that where it's so easy to tell the good guys from the bad guys too. I'll be great. Because you just look at an oracle and you're like,

obviously the bad guy. He's wet and muddy. When I watch like political debates or something like that, they both seem like nice people. They're dressed great. That's what's tough. It's not fair.

It's tough about politics. These guys are both on fire. Yeah, they're both human beings. Yeah. If one of them just looked like an oracle, I'd be like, don't trust that dude. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

His ax is rusty and he's sweating, so it seems pretty bad. Dude, I was captivated. I was captivated by every candidate. He was articulate. Solid dudes. Dude, so there's this Uber self-driving car that killed someone because it didn't realize people could jaywalk. Dude.

Shocker. That's a bummer, dude, but I'm going to say I remain optimistic for self-driving cars. You know, like when the Hindenburg crash. No, I'm not mad at it. When the Hindenburg crash, did that stop Goodyear from making that blimp? No. No? No.

Yeah. I mean, dude, if you read a little more in the article, like there was a person in there. Yes. And she was listening. She was watching the voice on her phone, so she couldn't break in time. I mean, the self-driving car should have been able to stop when there's an object in the road, regardless if it's a person or whatever.

Stop, don't hit whatever's in front of you while you're driving. That's rule number one. Right. But also, a show that you don't really need to watch is probably the voice. You could probably just listen to it. So was she supposed to be watching the road to make sure nothing got out? Oh, wow. So it's kind of negligence on her part.

Yeah. That sucks. Damn, dude. Dude, all this autonomous stuff. It's scary, though, because you've got to think that thing is reading a GPS, and you need to make sure that's accurate, right? How many times has your Waze sent you to an entrance ramp, and it's under construction, and it doesn't know?

Yeah. And you're self-driving, and the car goes bear dude yeah just go straight through the barrel through and people are like it's like like especially in hollywood dude a lot of people are gonna be driving through premieres in hollywood boulevard four self-driving cars just plowed through here and these red carpets just smokes like four people it never picks that up for me they'll be like take uh take hollywood boulevard to highland and i'm like and then i get there and it's all you can't yeah oh the worst did you ever see that video of that uh someone put the the um end zone pylon on the gas pedal of a golf cart at Dallas Cowboy Stadium. And it hit a bunch of people. Oh, really?

Yeah. Just a row golf cart? It's kind of funny. It's like no one got hurt. That's why I'm saying that. Right. That's what I think of when they're just like, all right, let's start pumping these cars out. And they're like, no, this road's not there.

We put a park there. And it's just like. It's crazy when that stuff works, too. Because when you're a kid and you're trying to fool around around you'll be like all right let's like put weight on the pedal and then like the rock you put on there keeps falling off and it like right when it actually works and then you're like whoa i didn't think it would hit that many people yeah dude it's crazy they're gonna have like autonomous like fucking everything dude and there's gonna be a thousand of these little mistakes of them not thinking it through yeah Yeah. Oh, yeah. Failure before success.

Always, dude. Always. You need like a kill switch. You know, like when you're on the treadmill at the gym and you have to put the kill switch on your bell? Yeah. They're going to have that with like your autonomous sex doll that starts like swinging at you.

We got to pull it. Wait, so you got your bachelor's and then you got your master's? In architecture, yeah. Where did you go for your master's? Woodbury in Burbank. Nice. How was that? Woodbury, baby, holding it down.

There was like 35 people in that whole school. No, it's actually really good. Do you ever think with other comics, you're like, man, I'm funny and I'm good at architecture. I try not to. Architecture is a great art, dude. Form and function, dude. You gotta make something beautiful, but also make it... It makes you think about everything, you know?

Who's your favorite architect? I saw your post the other day. Frankoyd's a good house guy love frank uh renzo piano's a beast very modern ish have you seen that new one at the end of fairfax and wilshire that big circle no oh yes i've seen it it's the new it's the new um museum for academy or something oh the cars the whitney one no it's literally right at the end of wilshire and fair. Oh, the cars, the Whitney one? No, it's literally right at the end of Wilshire and Fairfax by the kind of where I used to work. It's that big. It's like a big ball. I think Renzo Piano did that.

That sounds cool. Dude, it's sick. Dang. Good architecture gets me stiff. Yes. What's your favorite thing that you've designed? My company's office. I don't know.

Yeah. You walk in this, you go, I created this. Dude, it's weird when you look at it on a 3d model for like a year and then you're like i'm just sitting in it now and i'm like dude like the first like three weeks it was annoying because like you walk around and i see parts that i messed up on and like no one would ever pick up on it but i'm like oh i fucking hate this shit so much but it's like now i kind of like forget that i did it but for a while it's crazy to like sit in something that you're like, I made this. What are you getting those fired up to make like a,

like a jacuzzi? Cause you know, it's something that's fucking sick where some bros are going to get together like a sauna or like a gym where you can get, yeah, like a pong table or like a, I don't do architecture anymore though. I do construction management now.

Oh dang. Cause it's more lucrative. That yeah. It's architecture. Yeah yeah you don't get paid shit and also they're just fucking they suck dude i don't give a shit if you're in architecture you suck um what why do they just like every it's a designing it's like they remind me of stand-ups in a way where i like stand-ups are way better funny great people but it's like they're all we're designers of like jokes and they're designers of buildings where it's like you don't want somebody messing with your stuff so it's like

when i'm like helping doing this guy's drawing like they just nitpick it down to the point you're like dude give me a break like it's like hey can you make this line just here and you're like the fuck are you talking do you think they even really want you to change or they just want some input well no no it's their thing but like yeah everybody wants to like feel like they had some say in it so like they're over critical to the point you're like okay guys like let's you know cut the shit right now but on top of that you work like crazy hours you don't get paid anything and then when i went to construction i've worked like you work like you still work hard but you like it's like my workload is like cut in half your pay goes up like a significant amount and it's like you're

just in meetings now with like these dope dude like writers go i'm like walking around with the cfo today just like shooting the shit and he's like asking me like dude what do we do here and i'm like shut your mouth um no but uh it's just good what are the guys under construction crew like are they cool they're awesome nice that job i want to write a show about it because it's like dude i'm dealing with dudes and nothing that's like not offense but like guys who like didn't graduate high school all the way to like multi-millionaires who like are like stupid rich like day-to-day like i have a phone call with one and then a phone call with the other it's like you just see so many personalities like these guys are fucking so funny dude like just tell me like the craziest shit like

going on you know like it's like us like shooting the shit, drinking and shit. And you say like silly things and you're on the job site and then I'm going to have this like professional like fucking meeting with like all these dudes who are like, don't laugh ever. And you're like, oh fuck, be careful. Right. Dude, it's great. Wait, so the dudes who are like.

On the job site. They're funny. They're great. Like, you know, it's not like all like, it's not like a goddamn sitcom where we all walk in and we're just laughing the whole time. But it's like when you said, you know, chill with them and they're just like eating and we're just laughing the whole time but it's like when you said you know chill with them and they're just like eating we're all shooting the shit like they're fucking just normal ass dudes just working like and those guys you have to hand it to them they work like you like when people complain about their hours

i'm like homeboy literally got up at 3 a.m drove two hours to this construction site in the dark to start soldering wires on a ladder that's 30 feet in the air probably fell before like it works all day stops eat some like microwave burrito and then fucking goes back to work and then drives three and a half hours back because of traffic and does that every single goddamn day and doesn't make shit like probably they do okay because like over time but do those guys have like the most gnarly ass work like i can't complain around these people like at all yeah dude i mean they wake me up every morning dude i know they're going after it dude bro they are attacking yeah just going at it dude it's insane

those guys like they're like like they'll literally like yeah i go home i rip shots like one guy's like yeah i go home just drink fucking tequila and rip some beers and and they're happy though like you rarely you rarely meet some that are like in a shit mood it's like dude all my guys when i go to the job it's like dude matt what's up what are you doing but you're fucking you know i'm just gonna go i gotta work here get it done like it's just like the let's get shit done and i can go home to my family fucking crush some beers manual labor dude i that makes you that literally makes you such a better person than people who are sitting back kind of in a position.

I'm shitting myself. But sometimes when you're sitting back, you don't do shit. You get this little douchiness. Malcontent. But these guys, bro, they're always on a good attitude. Go home. And some of them, they're just rugged, bro. You hear stories like, yeah, he fucking worked with this guy.

He used to pack dips over here. And then he would do horseshoes. And then they took bottom you know they had to take part of his jaw off and the guy's like i don't go fucking starts packing on the top and they have to take the time you hear these you're like this guy is tough as shit there's never a time where this guy you're like and you hear that all the time and these dudes just like yeah my boy got electrocuted he's're just like, wait, what, dude? Right. And then I'm like, I had to wake up early. And I sat in traffic.

I don't even open my mouth around them. Well, it's good because you hang out with people like that. And it makes you move your idea of what's normal. Dude. I think when I grew up with my parents, I would get sick. And I'd be like, I think I'm going to die. They're like, you're not going to die. Shut up.

Dude, no. But then I got around more neurotic people. And they're like, yeah, you might die. And so I'd be like, I think I'm going to die. They're like, you're not going to die. Shut up, dude. But then I got around more neurotic people and they're like, yeah, you might die. And so now it's like, yeah, those guys, you,

they come in bleeding, just like open wound. And they're just like, dude, you respect people like that so much. That's why that job, like it's almost like a cleanser for like standup. Cause standups like its own beast.

You guys, you know, where you're like, you're doing like all these like people bitching and everyone's mad all the time and you're like dude we're here to fuck around and like laugh and shit and you're making an issue out of it you're like there's people out there making like three dollars an hour to fucking be standing next to a goddamn power line with a metal pole to paint a fucking roof like literally i had guys were like they're like looking at this thing they have like six inches of error because like a power line can like jump electricity so like one

time i had a job they're painting the roof it's on sunset and pch homeboy was fucking like yeah like literally if it's like four inches over the electricity can jump and i'll get fucking fried and i'm like he goes and then you come the next day it's like they just knocked it out and you're like that's so badass there's something he said about having too much time to think like i imagine a job like that it's probably like a form of meditation where you're just so focused on what you're doing you don't have time because you're like i have to get to this job this job this job i don't give a shit like these guys like plow through work like the things they do sometimes you're like and it's so that's all like i you know i'm on the management side but i still commend myself where i know what's going on in the field and i'll go

out there but it's like bro like it's crazy these guys like you make a schedule and they're just like they just fucking go down the line and shop it out it's like just shitty work conditions they don't think anything of it they show up good attitude do it and you're just like that was dope that's like i i deleted my facebook recently for you. Because every time I would log on, because I was like friends with comics and stuff, and so you scroll down the news feed, and it's all complaining, or it's like complaining about, you know,

like open mics or something, and you're like, what are you doing? You're like, dude, this is the easiest shit on earth, bro. We're doing the easiest. It's like, yeah. It's tough to do. Like, I commend, like, when people are doing 12 mics a week. No, no, no, no, no dude it's tough to do like i i commend like when people are doing 12 mics a week no no no no that's you know i get it it's exhausting and stuff but

it's like sometimes people you're like bitch shut up it yeah it's not hard like where it's like i think uh i know i've been now when i go to some mics i just like look at like everyone's sucking everyone's doing shitty dude it's emotionally taxed yeah everyone's everyone's talking about traumatic things that have happened to them you know what I mean right and people aren't even paying attention like someone's on stage talking about how like their uncle used to beat them when they were a kid and then the other six of us in the crowd are on the phone yeah we're like yeah good story man how much time is this guy doing and then fake lack wrong cars yeah right that's a hack premise and then yeah i've heard that yeah and then like you're they're like being super vulnerable but then they don't get the response they need and

then they're like well i'm just being honest about how i feel and you're like whoa like this is like this is and then they do that 12 times a week for five years or something that's why we're we're psychos i get that no i trust me it's like and i don't want to knock it like one's physically taxing and like these guys you know but then comedy like you said it's like due to every single night like weren't you know in the mic scene for the most part to every night get emotionally like rejected you're just like the fuck is happening like crush it next night just absolutely get just trashed and just ignored and you you're like, what am I doing with my life? I saw one guy, someone did a joke about fupas, you know? And then this guy comes up and he's like,

this guy comes up, unbuttons his shirt. And because this guy was like, men aren't allowed to show their fupas. So this guy comes up, unbuttons his shirt and shows his fupa. And it was a pretty bad fupa. And then the guy in the audience who just made the joke goes, that's the worst fupa I've ever seen.

And then the guy with the fupa who had it out was like so hurt and i was like you took a chance you did fucking backfire yeah yeah it is interesting the comics who like think like i'm gonna speak my truth and talk about my past traumas and that's gonna get some huge laughs and they're just like this is what happened to me and they're like expecting it and everyone's like cool cool dude and they're like oh yeah yeah because the joke's not there it's like there's no they got the pathos but they don't have like the craft that is the polar opposite of my idea stand up dude mine is just like be stupid goofy as shit and just say see i commend you because you're good at like you get deep on stage but it's funny as shit oh thank you versus me where i make fart noises and tell people like you're like

the best at fart noises dude you deploy them so well sometimes you'll be you'll be like crushed and then you go dude it's just peppered just no i don't know i don't like get deep on it i don't know some people get deep and i'm like i don't know how you do that because some people just find funny in it dude you make good points though it's like good analysis and stuff do you ever like you ever like reflect on your own comedy and like i feel like the grass is always greener like so hard oh yeah i wish i was mitch hedberg or something i always think like there's so many comics i'm like i wish i could do that and i'm like oh the fuck and then you kind of like then you like think about it you go well i'm gonna go to battle with my stuff and just deal with it and then you cut but then it always loops back around when you have that day you're like i

fucking suck what is this shit when you go you go on the road with drew lynch a lot who people might know from america's got talent what do you get second place on it like four or five years back like four four yeah five years yeah dude murray when he first did america's got talent and like a drew uh had his voice box so so you guys if you guys don't know drew lynch america's got talent look him up one of my best friends i opened for him on the road amongst you know me and my other buddy but we go quite a bit so he got hit in the throat with a softball, paralyzed his vocal cord, he fell, got a

concussion, all this stuff, and basically long story short, he has a stutter now. Then he started doing stand-up after that and just completely... He's a great writer, though. I think he's always been an awesome writer, and it was just two things converging that probably would never would, but now he just crushes, and I open for him, and and he's awesome when he did agt the first time and he

made it through the next round he came to an open mic in like pasadena and he walked in everyone was like was it jakes yeah it was jakes and i was like true true true true and then maurice is there and he just goes i saw you cry on tv joe maurice so funny richard prior going back to like the um people talking about like their traumas and stuff richard prior tiffany hash talks about how richard prior told her that people go to the comedy club because they want to laugh they want to hear your problems well it's like if you can do it well and it's funny that's fine but yeah like for me i'm like i want to make these people forget the bullshit not like maybe if it's relatable and they're like oh i can relate with that but like sometimes you're like yeah my uncle's gonna punch me in the face and like my uncle did that too that's not fun anymore

people want to have fun they want to laugh if there's a way where you can make that stuff funny like louis ck was like did well you know or prior i mean prior talked about like the most exactly yeah right yeah but i think some people are too close to the pain still like they don't have perspective you have to put the silliness layer over it and kind of like be over i have like some friends who kind of talk about very serious topics and i'm like you you almost have to like break down the sentence and like my friend i was just like you know change this word to this word because this one's a little aggressive i'm just like you know change this word to this word because this one's a little aggressive i'm not saying like and i never want to tell any comic

ever do this not that but you're like i can see where they pull back and it's probably because of x y and z and i'm not perfect but it's just like yeah you gotta like breeze over it dude you so your roommate moves out huh i listened that episode yeah greg's gone damn dude that's good though you think you're saying it's three's a company dude. That's good, though. You're saying three's a company, dude. Yeah, it's a lot. It'd be nice if it should be two. You and Joe just fucking crossing paths. Yeah.

John, I don't have to look at you every time we pass each other. That's kind of what it's like. Yeah. Do you share a bathroom? No. I want to use his bathtub, though. I like taking baths, but my bathroom doesn't have a bathtub. Oh, I heard that.

I saw your thing. But he's not into it. Yeah, yeah i was gonna give him a sandwich a week for it for 30 minutes what about while he's at work i would say i'll offer to clean your tub which is a pain no i'm gonna do that i'm gonna do i would do that on top too i'd lie solid and shit um yeah i think if joe found out i was doing it behind his back he'd be like really like some people wouldn't care that much like i don't think strata would care that much but like joe i would be like go for it because my i wouldn't want to take a bath like i clean it but like you want to scrub if your ass is going to be on that tile i don't mind a little dirt and then but yeah so it's uh she's jonah but also we have such different hours because he works at night so right that's good yeah we don't see

each other that much not as much as i'd like are you does your chick what are these sods doing in my tub she spends night probably like three or four nights a week right yeah or i spend the night hers are you and your girl together or no moving in together living together no no i'm i'm uh i'm sticking solo with my apartment you're smart yeah moving in a couple weeks well you lived with your lady for a while, right? Yeah. How was it? It's fucking weird. Well, then you guys broke up, and she was still living with you, right? No, when she broke up, we were, like, technically still together.

Well, when she moved out, we were technically still together. And then when she moved back to L.A., I was like, you can just stay with me. I don't care. Just the same money. I didn't give a fuck. At that point, too, I was so, like, when we broke up, I go, dude is my thing i'm focusing on that fuck dating fuck all that stuff so then like you know she's so we're so good friends you guys are close and i'm like dude i want somebody i want them to still do succeed and shit i didn't have like bad blood like we broke up but i was like i still like her as a person and i was like i just want to see her

move back here save up money and then go do her shit and not have to sweat it were you nervous about other dudes like at my place i was like no don't like obvious it was like so on it was so we're on such the same page like don't bring people here but yeah she probably got that right like being around her were you nervous about like you know just sort of i felt like aware of what you know a little like i it was more like she and you guys know her she's very open book and wants to like be like so how's date you know i'm like can we not be this couple like i go you do your single life i'll do mine i don't need to know about your thing i don't want you to know about mine and then when we were like she was still with me or when we were like she was

staying with me but we're broken up like my dating life was like i still felt like i was like tiptoeing around but more of like uh i don't want her to like i don't care how much somebody's like oh i'm cool with you doing that it's like no it's still bother you and so like i would you know try to like i would still you know go meet girls and shit but i would just like not pursue it as much but it was good because because i literally when she was with me i knock on wood i was withdrew like so many weekends out of the month that i was just like i don't care like i'll you know do your thing i'm i'm so like focused on you know just making stand-up you know more legit and all that stuff so but it worked out good and then she moved out got her place she's doing great so i think it all panned out but yeah as far as the dude things i was like i just don't give a shit

stop telling like she's the first ex i've ever kept talking to like every ex-girlfriend i've ever had we just broke up and i swear to god i've never talked to them again and it's like not because we're immature but i was like that's what i want it's like i'm out of sight out of mind i don't want to like you know we broke up being a holding no fuck no i was like do your thing i'll do my thing i don't need to like you guys just i'll. You guys like came when you did our show. You guys came together and stuff like that. I think what the locals at the end. Was she there?

Yeah. Yeah. I don't remember that. I do remember the show, but I think all my buddies. I don't know if she came now on, but regardless. Yeah, that was another. You didn't twice. Right.

Yeah. That was the first time. But no, we're still cool. Like, you know, thanks, buddy. That was a good show. The second one was great. Nice. Let's go. No, that good show. The second one was great. Nice. All right, should we answer?

Let's go. No, that's fine. Go on. Stokers. Not sure if this will be seen, but I sure as hell hope it does. I planned a trip to LA with my squad the first weekend in December 6th to the 8th, but they all bailed. Thanks to you guys, I'm all about keeping my stoke high and said, fuck it, I'm going alone.

I'm coming from the Bay Area and my plan was to hit all the comedy clubs while I was there and maybe even try to get my first open mic set in. What club would you guys recommend an open mic attempt? Also, I know you guys are busy and this may be far-fetched, but if you guys are in town, I would love to take you guys to crush some dank food or crack a chill IPA considering I'm going to be solo.

Anyways, I appreciate what you guys are doing for the nation. Stay chill, my dogs. What a good kid. Love it, dude. Where does that person live? The Bay. That's awesome. Nice. What a good kid. Love it, dude. Where does that person live? The Bay. That's awesome. Nice. What a fun area, too.

Yeah. And they're going to cruise. Are they taking a trip just around? Where's the trip going to again? L.A.? They're coming to L.A. Oh, dude. I'll be honest. I thought you were reading like a sponsor, and I was like, I don't know about the first

half of that. So he wants to know where he should do an open mic. In L.A.? Yeah, I think Burt's Backroom. Burt's Backroom. We all go there. It's five bucks for a set, but you sign up on slotted.co slash bert's back room supportive run by rachel kuthbert everyone's great there lady it's a it's you know it's you're not gonna waste your time

like sitting at a mic that's a lottery i don't know if you know how new you are to comedy but sometimes they put all the names in a bucket and the host will just pull a name out so you can be there for 10 minutes or two hours. At least with Burt's, you sign up, you know what hour slot, you got to stay in support. You know, it's nerve wracking. I always tell people just do it once. Just get up there and do it. It's the hardest thing you'll do, but it's the best thing you'll do.

And at Burt's, there's a good mix of veterans and new people. And people are actually kind of excited about comedy there, which is something you don't run into at all open mics. Now I feel like I'm cutting an ad for Burt's. But it's a good spot to go to. And that feel like I'm cutting an ad for birds. Yeah. But it's a good spot to go to. And that's the one I would recommend. It is nice. I would do that.

And fourth wall, fourth wall. I'm going to give it up to Joe Manetti. Same, same model. Same thing. Same idea. Joe's awesome.

He has a bunch of locations, but if you go on to comedy Bureau, you can look up all the mics and yeah, just get out there and get your feet wet. The comedy bureau.com. Remember your first open mic, bro? God, that was so nerve-wracking. I did the BrewDog pub.

Brutal, dude. I talked about traffic signs. I was like, why do the traffic signs for truckers have different language? Like, let her rip, boys. It didn't hit. Let her rip, boys. And then I talked about this porn star, OG Mudbone. But I didn't have any jokes.

I was just like isn't this hilarious I observed this but I think this kid should go to a club too just to know the difference if he's never been like you were saying do both to a mic at a club

go to the improv mic on Sunday night or Friday night I would just go watch but put your name in if you're going to be there you probably won't get up Yeah, go to the Improv Mic on Sunday night or Friday night. I would just go watch. I wouldn't. But put your name in if you're going to be there. You probably won't get up. You're pretty much going to watch anyway. Roll the dice. Yeah, you should know going in that it's really tough to get up at the club open mics,

but it's worth going to. You have the Comedy Store on Mondays. That's a potluck. It's really tough to get up. But if you do, I think it's just cool to be up there on that stage. And then the Improv Sunday, Tuesday, Friday. Around like 5.30 on Tuesdays and then late night Sunday and then Friday, I think, 5.30. Yeah, and you know what's cool?

That's the cool thing about stand-up too. It's like if you're an actor, you're so far away from Tom Cruise, like your idols. Right, yeah. But in stand-up, you're literally, you'll go to the comedy store and you'll be right next to all the people you look up to. Dude, it's crazy. And then you go to the open mic, you'll be right next to all the people you look at it's crazy and then you go to the open mic you'll get up on the same stage yeah that they get up on right sometimes you can even have a close like facsimile of the audience that they get and it's just it's pretty wild how quickly you can experience what the best people experience

not really like with theaters and stuff no it's awesome yeah that's why i like comics because they're just you know you see see them around just being normal people i feel like actors they like purposely like kind of hide i can be wrong but i just outside looking and you're like they like hide on purpose to be like elusive and miss but like a comic you're like you see like david tell like eating a subway by himself and you're like you're a normal person he's like david tells almost too normal you're like you do know you're a legend right dave dude brett banta brett banta walked into mel's diner once after the comedy store and david tell was sitting by himself and of course brett goes i say what you and he goes

yeah and then they just ate diner that's awesome couldn't be two greater funny imagine that conversation i would love to be yeah we got to get brett on here he's such a i love brett i've seen him forever and oh and the laugh factory should know that if you go to sign up it's for the next week good don't get caught in that trap i thought they changed i thought they changed that though because they do the bucket now yeah you sign up that day for that day but you have to like get there either early or if you show up like right before it starts you're like the latter half after the guaranteed so it's day of now yeah oh yeah that's good to know get up and do it kid yeah

disregard my false info for this email i would like to remain anonymous and sorry for the lengthy story but i'm going to cut right to the chase today my mom was diagnosed with leukemia my entire family has taken a major blow to their stoke tanks and i need your help to be able to maintain my family stoke levels and most importantly my mom's she's doing pretty fine by the diagnosis came out of nowhere and every one of us was shocked and by the way my mom is a legend of the week every week She survived a fatal car crash a couple years ago and broke her neck But managed to not be paralyzed from the neck down by literally a fraction of a millimeter

She goes and runs half marathons every other day and is definitely the strongest person. I know anything will help from you guys. Thanks Wow Well my dad, you know got diagnosed with pancreatic cancer about almost two years ago and uh it's really hard and i was very uh angry and upset and i cried a lot and i think that actually helped a lot to cry because you're crying because you care because you love the person so much and then uh you know just make a point to talk to my dad a lot and to make sure that I feel like nothing's left unsaid. And then also, I think you'll be surprised how resilient you'll be and how resilient your mom will be. We as people are strong. And when we get this news, it rocks us for a bit.

But then we kind of normalize it in a good way. And then you just go into your day and you try to make the best of it. in a good way and then you just go into your day and you try to make the best of it and i think you'll there's some good that comes out of it because you'll really feel connected to each other and you really want to be there for each other and while it's the worst thing a person can go through it can reveal the best of us and how we deal with it so just uh just know that she loves you know that you love her and that you guys will um go through this together. Perfectly said. Life's not fair, dude.

I think his outlook on his mom is awesome as far as how positive he is. And I think just keep that. And, you know, she's your hero. So just keep up with that attitude. Don't let it shake you. And, you know, obviously what John said was perfect. And I think he kind of wrapped everything up. Yeah, I mean, I can't even begin to know what you're going through, but I think

and I'm sorry to hear that, but yeah I think the best thing you can do is stay close with your mom, keep getting each other stoked, you know keep connecting, keep showing that love for her and that's the best thing you can do. For sure, dude.

Stay strong, brother. What up, Legends of Stoke? I come to you in a state of deep trouble within the squad. You see, my fellow roommate slash bro has been with this girl he is claiming he is just friends with. They have had a thing in the past and it fizzled out, but now they are back as just friends. But she is constantly at our house with him doing the naughty. So my other roommate's bros had a sit down and said they were more than just friends. Then it happened.

She posted on her Snapchat story date night with the heart eye emojis. So we confronted him on being more than just friends and he still continues to deny it. What can we do to get our bro to fess up that he's dating this girl? And maybe they aren't dating yet, but how do we get him to admit to being more than just friends? P.S. Later that night and next morning more Snapchat stories were posted of them together. Thanks my dog. Stay bronze. I think he wrote that in all caps.

I know, dude. It's also just so weird that there's two weird things going on. I think I already know. One, why do his buddies care like that he won't let his buddies do this? Why do they care? And then two, why is he not just admitting it or like where is but you've been there too with your dogs where you're like bro will you just

admit you're dating this girl my old roommate was like that yeah i i had a roommate who uh yeah same shish yeah it's funny yeah yeah it's like the it's like an opposite romantic comedy in a way just admit it bro you're in love sometimes the guy doesn't even know you know like yeah guys or human beings we can deceive ourselves so much as to what our situation is right like he's like i'm not we're not boyfriend and girlfriend and like it's so clear to everybody else it's like no your boyfriend and girlfriend he's like no no we just go on dates a lot and hang out we don't sleep with other people you're like yeah it's me boyfriend but they don't want to like face maybe he doesn't want to admit that because the friends are obligated he's probably scared the friends will

treat him different you were like right now he's still single even like he's they know he's in a relationship yeah but he's lying and they're like they're hanging on to that truth or like he's still a boy but like the second he admits it they're gonna treat him different he's gonna treat them different and then he's back right he likes where things are at that's what it is he likes where things are he doesn't want things to change i would tell this guy yo we're gonna treat you the same if you date her you're still our boy but also i don't know yeah that's true i think that is the diagnosis because i went why is he not admitting it but he probably he's like fuck they're gonna treat me different i remember that

like when you start dating a girl you whether you want to say it or not you don't show your friends as much and it's shitty totally and he probably likes that you're they're still including him and stuff i'm just guessing but i that's what i read from that and guys look they want it look if it's smooth sailing if it isn't broke don't fix it like why and a label is not really going to change anything dude i mean you know it's just slight adjustment period but it's going to be fine dude i just go up to my dog and i'm like listen bro i'm so pumped that you're in love with this girl i love that you love this girl that girl is your girlfriend, bro. Or just do the opposite and keep bringing single girls up to him.

Like, since you're not dating her, you can... Hey, can you go on a double date with me on Friday? That's pretty fun. You could just force him into it. That'd be the same girlfriend in the group that'd be like, Dude, I'm the one doing all the Snapchats, dude. You don't even know it. You were cuddling on the couch.

I was outside your window. I'm snapping it to the whole crew, dude. You don't even know it. You were calling on the couch. I was outside your window. I'm snapping it to the whole crew, dude. You're fucked. Who's sending these Snapchats of them together? He's basically making the most cute album of them. Yeah, dude, exactly. Because he wouldn't be doing it, sending Snapchats. Like, look how smoochy and cute he was.

I'd love to be that brother who sees the Snapchats like, oh! Yeah, yeah. Dudes, look at this, dude. Oh, Mr.'t have a girlfriend is smooching under a tree at the grove dude exactly you know i hit yeah i hit in a bush for an hour to catch you guys passionately kissing this little pond got you they're like it's a nice video can we have that actually amazing dude it was the magic hour sun was just going down you guys are great that's a that's a that's a prickly bush yeah it's fucking hurt but i got you i kind of like this tension that's going on so i'd say the dudes keep hammering

this dude keep denying it yes you're building some electric energy in the squad and it's keeping things interesting true so keep hammering this dude yeah snapchat finder guy keep saying what up to the snapchats and calling them out dude on the new who's probably going to get married to this new girl that he's definitely dating yeah keep denying it he's literally in love yeah what up adonis is of advice you might remember me as the self-interested douche who wrote in a couple months back about wanting to lay pipe and his best friend's sister a lot has changed since then and i need your advice more than ever. Whilst my lingo was undoubtedly

firing that quest, your critical response opened up a new level of introspect within me that I had never been explored and made me realize that my attention-seeking attitude was at the core of my problems.

Since your response, I completely changed my outlook, making it my goal to treat this girl, still my friend's sister, like how I imagined Strider treated his GF after the purchase

of their dank credenza. A Morris affection. I was seeing this girl for around two months and things were progressing beautifully. I was beginning to really fall for her and we opened up about our emotions like JT does after an introspective rip of the devil's lettuce. However, after acting a bit off for a few days,

she recently revealed to me that despite previously believing otherwise, she wasn't ready for a relationship and that although I had done nothing wrong and that she still loved me as a person, she couldn't be there for me as a partner at this time. Dudes, I was crushed. Neither of us have ever been in a relationship before and I'd put a lot on the line for her to make it work, including postponing my friendship with her brother and becoming genuinely emotionally vulnerable for the first time in my life. Since that revelation, I've lost all my flow and my stoke is on an all time low. Is there anything I can do to make her feel ready to be in a relationship with me? As

this is still what I want and something she implied may occur in the future. If not, how should I approach these next few trying months? Any advice would be greatly appreciated as your wise opinions mean a lot to me. Sorry for the Stoke reduced dudes. Dude. Great articulate. You gotta see the movie All the Real Girls. That was amazing.

All the Real Girls, David Gordon Green movie. It's about a town with Thario who falls for his friend's sister and the complications that come with that. And then what he realizes is he did like the friend's sister, but it was more about the change that she represented in him that he was into. And he kind of put her in a pedestal and she ends up going off with another dude. And he has to realize that this person that he made his salvation is a person, not necessarily there for his salvation. But in the end, he takes that good energy that he brought into the relationship and applies it to his life. And he's open for the next thing. And he's different than how he was before.

Yeah, dude, I would be stoked on the fact that you put yourself out there. Yeah, good for you. You laid your vulnerability out there for everyone to see, for this lady to see. And you showed your true romantic side. So I'd be stoked on that. Don't get down on yourself. You put yourself out out there and that's life baby you're gonna keep moving forward you're gonna become stronger after this and uh i don't i don't think you know maybe i'd give her some space at this moment you know let her yeah for sure decide what her feelings are

um chumbawamba yeah listen to chumbawamba on repeat you get knocked down but they got up again yeah i didn't realize i was just like maybe just listen to chumbawamba on repeat you get knocked down but they got up again yeah yeah i didn't realize i was just like maybe just listen to chumbawamba but then the lyrics are fire on top the lyrics are sure hella fire know it in those situations all you can do my friend gave me the best advice for and i don't know maybe she's into you she's kind of feels weird with the whole brother thing you know but uh just keep living your life. Don't let her see you affected. Just keep going doing dope shit, post-school things with your friends. You know, live your life, and then, you know, she'll come around. And if not, you're going to meet a badass chick in the meantime

while you're just fucking stoking out with your boys. For sure. Getting ripped. You sound pretty young, though, so I don't know if you're getting ripped. Dude, he's pretty young. And who knows, dude, maybe, you know, 20 years from now, dude, everyone's going to be boning robots, dude dude so maybe you got one of those bone robots coming your way and uh you'd fired up on you for the growth that you've displayed here that is

that's what i like to see i love doing that that's like the fun part about being single when you have to take that leap where you're like fuck dude this is either go great or suck and we've all had this suck situations but there's nothing more like fucking pumped up when you write that text like yo fuck your brother i love you and then you put the phone down and you walk away and then you look at that phone you're like there's big news on this phone right now and i have no idea what's gonna happen i i miss that sometimes i'm too attached to that hanging in the balance moment like with my gf now like when we first got together i was really nervous to have sex with her and then so i was like i was, I'm going to take a Cialis,

so I'll be good at it. But if I take a Cialis, I think I'm going to have a heart attack, so it really scares me. So I was like, I'm not going to take a Cialis. So we were at her house, and I was like, I'm just going to chill, and I'm just going to be myself, and I'll be vulnerable, and whatever happens, sex is what happens. And then I was like, but I really don't want to have sex.

I'm so scared. And I got so scared, I took a Cialis. And when I came out of the bathroom, she was like, JT, can I tell you something? And I was like, yeah. i tell you something and i was like yeah she's like i really like you but i want to wait before we have sex and i was like oh thank god i ran in the bathroom and i boked out to cialis oh you did yeah you had a fucking boner the whole night no i not boked it i threw it up and then i brushed my teeth a lot did she hear

this i told her later yeah no she didn't know i boked yeah she didn't hear you but now and then it was like but it was like there was that moment where I was so scared and then she literally told me what I needed to hear. That's crazy. I really like you. And you're like, oh, for sure. And you just throw up.

I think I have to piss more. But good for you getting that out of your system because I love that, dude. That's a nice, beautiful relationship. I wonder if he misses, like, if he regrets

not being friends with the brother anymore or whatever they'll probably come back around i don't think i actually booked out the cls i think it's staying in my system i know you you had a boner for like five days i uh dude you're so you're very good at analyzing last question what up stokers just wanted to start by saying i love the pod and it had me in a super dope place since i started listening to it a few months ago anyways let me outline the current situation I'm in. I was vibing with this chick for a while, but she still had a BF.

We had shared many borderline romantic moments, which I would say were pretty tight. Last night, she broke up with her former BF and I told her to pull up to the function. She was hesitant to come chill because she straight up wasn't having the best night in relation to the breakup. I was adamant, though, that she comes

and eventually she agreed. Out of my excitement, I drank too much way too fast, which resulted in me being a total tool. When she came, I was incoherent and hardly even spoke to her. I'm concerned I blew my chances with her because I wasn't there for her the way I should have been at an important time. I really like her and want to redeem myself from the other night. What's the best course of action to show her? I'm the sort of guy who's just drunken and dastardly on a regular basis. I think this is finally my chance to show this wonderful lady how much I like her,

but I gotta know what your guys' take on the situation is. Any advice is appreciated. Love you guys. Keep up the dope work on the pod. Wait a sec. I kind of missed it. So he got drunk. So she broke up with her boyfriend.

He's like, hey, you need to come chill now, and was very persuasive about it. And then she came over, and he was super hammered. It's too much. You gotta relax a little bit. and he was super hammered it's too much you gotta relax a little aggro yeah it's too aggro like you need it too much right now and then you're like i need to tell her everything and so i can tell it better i'm gonna be fucking hammered like you gotta show your mature side now you gotta show that you are a changed man like i one time in college i uh there's this white buffalo that i finally asked out on a date hell yeah and i got so nervous i played beer die for like five hours before the date.

We've all done it. Then we went to go see Snow White and the Huntsman or whatever. Oh, yeah. With Charlize Theron, who was so hot. I was so fire in that movie. Powerful. She could kill me in that movie. I had my buddy Mason chaperone, and she was not pleased.

You had your boy come? He drove because I couldn't drive. Oh, I thought you went with pleased. Yeah. You had your boy come? He shot, he drove, because I couldn't drive. Oh, I thought you, like, he went with you. Yeah. And, no, I was like, this is, in my mind, I was like, this is going to be awesome. She's going to love it. I got my boy Mason, and it's going to be so impressive to her. And she's like, who the fuck is this?

Yeah, did you show up on a date? You're like, what? And he's smoking a blunt. He's like, what up? Bring my boy with me. And I never got a second chance because I but not because she didn't give it

she gave me a second chance but I was still just too drunk to accept the challenge accept the challenge accept the relation so all you gotta do is just show her that you're a changed man and you're good but you might be able to be like listen I was so excited you broke up with your boyfriend i house you have one you

have one one of those like i know you're really sad about it and i appreciate that and i feel terrible celebrating this tough time but there's a part of me that's stoked because i really am excited about our future prospects and i when i get excited say those 12 beers but i'm gonna half that next time just have six dude write that down and then say that to her midday when you're sober. Dude, I was just pumped. You guys broke up. Fuck that dude. He's abusive.

Just throw some insults at that guy. He's a piece of shit. I saw him yell at you once. That's not chill. Anyways, had a couple drinks, got carried away, didn't have dinner. You know how that works. All right. Let's do it, dudes.

It's time for the of the weeks oh chad what is your beef of the week so uh my beef of the week is with billy mcfarland uh who started fire festival and i just learned about his uh showed his deception and um fraudulent activities and i just gotta say not chill that's a fucking not chill billy uh i know you think you're trying to be sick by throwing a sick rager in the bahamas but not actually owning up to it and or living up to it and giving people hurricane tents and uh it's not chill because you promise people a rager billy you cannot promise people the rager of their lives co-produced by jaw rule and then not deliver billy all right you tarnish jaw's name you tarnish jaw you promise major laser you promise kendall jenner you promise yachts. You promised villas. And you promised, most of all, good times.

And you know what you brought? Bad times, Billy. Bad. So I'm going to say not chill. Catfish the fucking world. Yeah. Which is actually pretty hilarious when you put it like that. But not chill, Billy.

Not chill. Suck it. Suck it. Jimbo, who's your beef of the week i was just watching this uh jim from the office he's a fucking snake he stole pam from the the boyfriend roy dude roy is a goddamn factory guy working in non-air-conditioned facility busting his dick with the crew while jim's up there schmoozing being a little fucking weasel piece of shit playing snarky dude he's a fun boy jim should have got blasted the first time the boyfriend came in there and he's leaned over that front desk he has no business

talking to the receptionist get the fuck to work sell your paper stop flirting with a girl with a man that's bullshit this poor guy's just breaking his back and then jim is just trashing him he just wants a wife out of pam and you're like you're like the ray crock of the office you fucking snake oh dude good ref dude to the founder dude founder fuck ray crock fuck mcdonald's fuck jim from the office dude jim is just a bitch bro and when people defend him like he's going after what he wants i go what he just stole he made the boyfriend look bad this guy's tired at work jim's fucking whispering in pam's ear he should treat you good he should you know all this stuff and then the boyfriend comes home he's like i just want to sit down she goes jim would probably take me out to like a poetry slam right now and he's

like can i just go to bed i just lifted four tons of paper that your man ain't selling up there and i just i don't like that shit right and then i think when you re-watch the show you're kind of struck by how jim is kind of like he's a weasel bro and he's kind of making fun of everybody who's like like like dude he's the worst like dwight cares and then jim's like you care yeah thank you he's judgy he's judgy he that's the guy he's better than everybody that's the guy when he's with the boys and they're talking about the boys who have like girlfriends they're all talking about things you can't tell your girlfriend he's fucking like writing that shit recording them and they go when they're all hanging out remember when you said

this and press is playing gets everyone right dude she's like pam why'd you choose jim he's really good at smirking and judging. Yeah. I don't like that. I feel bad. Because going back to the construction thing, I can relate to the dudes putting the elbow grease downstairs. And then this poor guy comes upstairs and she's mad at him because of some shit Jim probably made up.

I don't know. That just pissed me off. Any dude who is scheming on a girl with a boyfriend, you are entitled to get blasted in the face. That's just my take. But what if Jim and Pam were meant to be together? That is such bullshit. No. As a dude, respect that she has a man.

You just wanted her because she couldn't. She was out of. Oh, so you think if she was single, Jim wouldn't even have been into it. This dude was at that receptionist desk probably five times. I know guys like that. They're just, they're not working. No.

That shit pisses me off. It's a fresh take. It's a fresh take. He's a piece of shit. Strider, who's your B for the week? Is it with Roy from The Office? Don't you dare.

Fucking Roy, dude. Honestly, he's trying to get in the way of love, dude. Dude. Just let it go, dude. You have something written. You just didn't cherish it right.

You didn't respect it the way you should have. You got set up. Dude, I got to go with, and I don't know his name, but the commander who didn't listen to the intelligence officer at Pearl Harbor, dude, which led to the Battle of Midway later on, which was a dank movie that I saw yesterday. By the way, did you give it up for the frigging veterans, dude? Haven't given up for the veterans.

Oh, yeah. Veterans Day. What up, veterans? Happy Veterans Day. So I went and saw that, dude, with my bro last night. Dude, dank movie, Arclight. And, yeah, dude, this commander, dude, although he did say, he goes, make sure you do a better job, dude, of convincing the man who's going to take my position of listening to you.

Admitting his own faults, dude. Because he warned him, dude. He's like, look, we don't know where the Japanese who's going to take my position of listening to you admitting his own faults dude because he warned him dude he's like look we don't know where the japanese fleet's at we lost track of it we need to be making preparations like and the commander's like dude no it's fine it's a sunday we're chilling it's the weekends like guys aren't leaving the intelligence guys like dude i don't know we should at least get our you know i don't know what they would do to make operations and we got lucky dude we got lucky on pearl harbor that freaking uh you know obviously huge atrocity but like a tragedy but like dude uh freaking some major targets didn't get hit like they missed oil refineries and just by chance the aircraft carriers which are the most

valuable um uh navy vessels dude were out of the harbor so yeah dude he didn't want to get bigly by that dude he wanted to be flexing on him and calling all the shots and he just couldn't you know exactly he couldn't take the the the equalness he's like no i i know what i'm doing exactly didn't want to break the mental sweat of a new like code breaking tactic that he'd been using in his you know so it's just unchill dude so i left the architecture firm yeah i tried warning him a few times and they go step down i'm like all right buddy yeah people don't heed your intelligent advice because they feel frustrated it's very because they think that you're fixed into the position that they think of you in yeah dude

maybe my beef isn't so much with that guy because he's human error but maybe my beef is just in the flaw of like you know the rankings of military rankings and the ego involved in it and the limitations that you know our human nature make us do you're making decisions based on ego rather than what's best for all for sure take everyone's opinion into account i love that my beef of the week is uh with my lack financial jargon. Ooh, it's on you. It was my brother's birthday on Saturday, and all the family was in town, and all my boys were there. And it was like my dad was there, and he was partying pretty hard. My brother might have given him a little dust from the molly. And it was pretty funny because it just got my dad more amped on talking about finance and real estate.

And he was really squared off with uh with my buddy ross and joe and they were like yeah the mezzo on the new deal is six percent once you get the rebate and then you flip it into the next year's quarter earnings and then the interest rates are going to jump by a double and then you're going to have a 55 payout and i was like it was just all greek to me and i really wanted to jump in and be like hey i love all you guys i'd love to participate but i't have the financial know-how, so I had to just sit on the sidelines. And I got to say, I love what they're talking about. I don't know what the fuck they're talking about, but it gets me amped. These are movers and shakers who really love to move and shake, and they're having a nice time connecting. And I could see, I was like, you know, my dad's known Ross since Ross was a little kid.

He's known Joe since he was a little kid. Now they've grown into these, you know, men who know how to, who know how to talk about business. And my dad's like super, like kind of cocky. And he's like, well, you know, a deal like that,

you probably want to refinance before the second quarter. And then they all laugh. Drop the punchline. I'm like, and I can't, you know, I can't, I can't even laugh,

right? Cause I don't even know where the punchlines are. Dude. I mean, from what I was able to glean, it sounds like they were talking commercial rather than private sector but dude honestly what you got to focus on is this dude you got to be fired up about that you had a chance because you're the most fucking legit legend that i know dude and a great reader and

a master of jargon in all other formats you got a chance for a second to taste the smallness and dude now you have walked you have walked a mile in a schmoles shoes dude so it makes you that much more empathetic that much more human dude yeah and dude it was chill it was super chill and you know i'm just gonna go home and like just bang out a book on it fuck yeah dude you heard the pros now you can start to you know reverse engineer that conversation and be like okay and then you're gonna come drop some goddamn refinance you know uh equity bomb on your dad and his friends and your friends and they're like john fucking yeah i'm gonna have like a fucking uzi a jargon dude you need to

40 rounds you need to just banana clip dude just plagiarize warren buffett for like a paragraph. Dude, you're going to freaking 1030 Dunn exchange them, dude. Yeah. What's up, dude? You should memorize a monologue filled with jargon. Just like emotions. Yeah, Glen Ross. Just busted up.

Always be closing. And start laughing. Coffees for closers. And laugh at parts and then they're confused and you go. These are the leads. Yes, exactly, dude. These are the Glen Ross leads. And the glenn gary grand ross leads and then good leads or you just go really okay yeah just a little bit of system doubt are you

sure about that because it sounds a little risky nice or you go make them question or always just 10 years ago would you have done the same thing just always jump decades dude 10 years from now i see the market changing nice guys sounds like you're in the green yeah yeah i can raise a stoke financial stoke i think once we get that where you're talking about we're going to be in the kill zone yeah oh dude we'll be straight bullish in the market i see where you're coming from bullish and then dude if that all fails you just hit him with a nice shut the fuck up hey shut the fuck up you're way off you're way off you're cocky and you're gonna get us burnt yeah this is your retirement you're talking about

you want to play fast and loose with my cash you better button it up motherfucker okay because i'm not ending up with my ass in the sun because you didn't know how to play the game oh dude i'd be so fired up if i saw that dude i'd believe that is that from a movie that's come out of your dome i was just ripped out you already know the jargon you sounded like a friggin mortgage guy or something. It's an attitude. Dude, honestly, dude. Honestly, can I buy? I want to buy something from you right now.

I got something for you. You want me to turn your life around? You want me to change your life? Yes. Then sign on the dotted line. Because my friend, I only do deals that are nuts to bolts, ready to go. And this is that deal. Please.

What are you selling? I should consult my GF about this, but she's going to love it. JT asked that you never judge him on his winners, but you judge him on his losers. Judge me only on my losers. Because he has so few. I love that. Dude, that's deep. That is the best move.

He's like, these penny stocks, it's guaranteeing a huge profit margin that could go upwards of 60 000 percent oh well um my wife might divorce me but hell put me down for 10 000 shares he's like i got this deal coming in no one's heard of it yet it's gonna be big chad who's your babe of the week my babe of the week is Minnie Mouse let's go baby Minnie Mouse so cute dude I saw her at Disneyland this weekend so freaking cute you know and I think she gets overlooked a lot you know Mickey takes

the spotlight and he just you know he's like on the ferris wheel he's you know he's has a freaking steamboat named Willie and everyone's like Mickey's what's up, dude? Mickey's the shit, dude. Mickey's the shit. I'm like, dude, Minnie is holding it down, staying cute, just freaking.

She is the straw that stirs the drink, dude, you know. Mickey, and I think, you know, I can't go into much more detail because I don't know really what's going on at home with them. But I just got to say, Minnie Mouse mini mouse what up i respect what you do i respect that you're there for mickey in tough times and i respect that you really hold it down at the park and you show people the definition of cute beast and thank you for giving me some love while i ate some mickey waffles nice dude i love that you got the breakfast. Oh, hell yeah, dude. That's so nice.

You gotta get Mickey waffles. Sorry I ate cars, but yeah. I mean, dude, you know, when in Rome, dude, you're in Disneyland. Dude, you know, sometimes rules aren't meant to be broken, dude. Every once in a while, dude. Treat yourself. Oh, dude.

Mickey's hot. I mean, Minnie. They're both hot, dude. It's all good, dude. Yeah. Yeah. Mickey's hot. I mean, Minnie. Oh, God. They're both hot, dude. It's all good, dude. They're good. They're the same. They're mice.

Yeah, dude. Dude, every time I see either one of them, you see that they have this aura, and you're like, you are charming. Yeah. Here's a fun time. Maddie, who's your babe of the week? Dude, Jennifer Lawrence in Passengers. Oh, I've seen that.

For over... Oh, fuck. You fucking motherfucker. Can I ruin it? Yeah, ruin it. All right. Yeah, yeah. babe of the week dude jennifer lawrence in passengers for over uh fuck you fucking mother can i ruin it yeah all right yeah yeah her and what's that dude's name chris pratt chris pratt uh one in space yep they're i spit everywhere else yeah so this one is the ones fucking up up top up there they in that dark area above us right right? Okay. Zero gravity. The great unknown. Go ahead. What are they being all cosmic and shit? They think they're better than me, huh? Because they can see me and I can't see them.

Oh. He's like the Jim of the space. Big weasel. Yeah, this is about Christmas. I just love it. Back around. Fucking weasel. Fucking guy.

The space mechanic who put her into the cryogenic freezing. Absolute trash. Expected her to be there. Lying about the Ryan's belt, some consolation bullshit. Next thing you know, he's put a little fucking shit in her drink. Got a one-way ticket to an ass-whooping, dude. The pilot was given an earnest effort and he smirked at him

and then she bumped it. She had a man and he goes, on this trip. Okay, anyways. Basically, they're traveling to somewhere. Forget exactly the location, but they're in to somewhere forget exactly the location but they're in some cryogenic sleep monster short some shit they hit a rock on the way chris what's his name being chris pratt um deep space deep space they just fucking hit bump they hit uh their uber hit a person jaywalking they were on autopilot alien jaywalking anyways came on dude his bitch ass woke up and uh he

started creeping on these faces saw her woke her up lied said it like i'm bitching about him i'll get back to her um lied and said like hey you hey you woke up too this is crazy because he like fell in love with her he read her bio and all this stuff super hot um and then uh they kind of fell in love and then long story short i don't know how it got out that he woke her up and she went away from him and uh she was such a chill girl she overlooked the flaws understood that he just really liked her and kind of took you know they they mended and uh had the rest of the trip to this far off planet just loving each other so she overlooked a huge thing but i think she kind of saw him for who he was and that he's a good guy and

he was just alone and sad and shit so maybe maybe amanda you can do the same for me thank you have such deep subtext they feel like they're both rooted in personal experience yeah where is she just look deep i love that dude that's that's what it's all about, dude. Fucking honesty, braveness, and straight up metaphor, dude. That's what I appreciate what you did.

Jennifer Lawrence is bad as fuck. For sure. Yeah, she brings it, dude. Strider, who's your babe of the week? Oh, dude, my babe of the week has got to be my GF, dude. Just straight up freaking, dude.

We just got these dank, dank new frames, dude, for, we were at this like show when we met and uh she freaking framed it dude got a frame of like the uh poster of it dude that's awesome and just straight up out of nowhere dude i'm like this is dank dude i'm like where do we get to hang this and she's

like well we might do a gallery wall dude so we'll see so right now it's just posting up on my desk area dude and um we might do a little gallery wall because uh we try to mount our tv dude it was unsuccessful dude we've got weird walls i think i've talked about this but like um like our walls are just dust and uh freaking uh so we've got to cover up the holes we drilled and we're being proactive about it we're creating a dank little gallery wall above the credenza behind the tv so it's just going to be a straight up zone of stoke dude so fired up on that that's awesome love a good frame dude just it takes that moment like i care and i'm gonna frame this that's what it's about the care it is did you that's the thing do you have a picture

between of you and a bro there's so many on facebook dude but dude if you're looking for a gift print it frame it get it done nice dude great gift should frame a picture of us let's do that we have a good picture of us and jakes from years i still have that you do that my apartment photo i love that picture i'm down to get your picture of you dudes framed i thought you meant all of us right now take a picture but then you guys talk i'm like i'm down dude i'm down for fucking to watch you guys do that i want to frame the photo of us put it up at your place exactly not in it he's like i care about this picture strider had a good joke in my child

home like the house i grew up in he put a picture of himself just amongst many pictures of my family and it took us years to discover that's great like this like wall of just like tons of different frames friends family forever and i didn't say anything i just put it there one day dude very clever that's my christmas present i get people a framed photo of me in a cowboy hat that's oh i did that a place i worked at i gave the boss a framed photo of me yeah yeah i'm gonna need one of those dude oh dude i'm gonna put that on my desk oh dude i will go my desk area for sure oh hell yeah wall of dogs maybe i'll talk to my gf about getting on the gallery wall but maybe yeah yeah let yeah feel it out with her no pressure on my end you know people don't do that anymore but you know just see what she has to say thank you you don't see that in people's houses just walls of pictures of people i know like families but like

you don't see like like when i come out with you if i get a house here i want to have a wall and be like this is my wall of fucking bros and chicks and squad just moments captured i love that i love that this guy this miami playboy we've talked about a couple weeks ago anwar he said that what makes a house a home is the memories that fill it and you get that best anwar dude great quote by anwar dude yeah he had some moments did you know that he knocked out a horse too too? Anwar knocked out a horse. Whoa, with his elbow? He tells the story. He's like, I didn't mean horse. It had two big paws, and it was hitting this 17-year-old kid,

and the horse was out of control, so I bunched it and knocked it unconscious. Okay, Anwar. Whoa. Horse may have been 18 hands, but it's one fucking fist, dude. Done. Dude. He's like, this kid, he was not even that small. He was like 6'2", but the horse was clawing at him, and so I knocked him out.

I knocked the horse out. You never see the story going there. But then at the end, you're like, oh, we saw it going there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's a petting scene where he's just petting the pony, and he's going to just crack it. Yeah. I always answer the same question.

I am Miami. That's a good answer. I am Miami. That's amazing. Was he on the podcast, or is it a clip? No, it's like a Vice clip that you can watch. He's got a bunch of videos. I am Miami.

I am Miami. I am the city. He is, he is. I am the city. That's amazing. Hey, dude, you can try to make me out to be like a playboy or something. I only sleep with one lady at a time. So I got this shower that fits 10 ladies for one shower at a time.

I got this jacuzzi that It seats five people at the same time. People ask me, that is ten ladies. How can you do that? I only have one dong to put in the lady at a time. So there's ten ladies present, but one lady is getting boned at one time by saying, you know, fall off the horse, get back on the horse. Knock out a horse. Go have sex with a woman. That is what you do.

That is how it is, you know. My babe of the week is my brother It's his birthday He's a beast What I like most about him is he's just a great hang He's very cute, very funny

very smart and just always good to be around. He's got a great energy and he's got a positive outlook on life and it's a good influence for me and then also he's very honorable. I've talked talked about out here before when we were kids i used to try to cheat during monopoly when we were on the same team you go you go i don't want to win like that and i'm like god damn it and then so i'd have to play straight and then invariably i think it would actually help him he'd win more because he knew in his heart he wasn't he that

he deserved it more and then he also could be like honorable in the other direction where like when he was playing handball against one of his friends, his friend sucked, but he would never go easy on him. He just beat him 11-0 every time. I like that. And he was like, no, it's good for him.

I'm just teaching him how to play. And then we literally just smoke him 11-0 every single time. And yeah, it's just an honor to be his brother and it was an honor to spend your birthday with you. And then also my mom said some good stuff about him where she talked about how he's like the nicest guy in the world, but when he gets mad, it is the scariest thing in the world

because you know he means it and he can bring the thunder. And yeah, he speaks softly, but he carries a big stick. And yeah, I love you, dude. You're a great guy. I'm really proud of you. Good jargon. And he threw a great party too. It was a really nice shindig.

Oh, it was nice. And it spoke to how loved you are and uh yeah i'm just glad you're my bro i like how the financial jargon started at the game monopoly where you didn't care about it and like that's where you guys went separate ways right right right chad who is your legend of the week my legend of the week is walt disney um i mean dude talk about vision, following through, utilizing your imagination, and just creating an epic studio as well as epic lands that span across California to Florida to Paris to Tokyo. I'm talking about Disneyland. But I just think, you know, he's awesome.

He just created this world and uh i just love going to disneyland so much because it's just like the rides may not thrill me as much as they used to but it's just a vibe my voice is cracked it's just a vibe you know it's just there's so much detail there's so much effort that goes into this one place it's immaculate you spill some popcorn two seconds later someone's there to clean it up like it is a well-oiled machine and uh and then like uh yeah it's just like it's just like it's so there's so much creativity going on you can just really feel the vibe so you can feel his spirit of creativity when you're there so i just want to say you're a legend. Thank you for making Disneyland.

You gave me many great memories as a kid, and they continue to this day. Nice. That's great, dude. Disney. Matty, what's your legend? Well, mine's not deep at all. You ever watch a porn and the guy's hooking up with a girl? It's the guy, the legend's the guy who doesn't make noise.

Oh, yeah, yeah. I like when the guys talk. No. Sorry. That's the star. Not to be a naysayer. That's the star, the guy who's like, and you're like, I can't even hear her.

I don't like that. The legend is a guy who can be a professional. He's getting rode. He's getting road. He's getting worked. And he's just biting his tongue because he knows it's for the viewer. That's a legend right there. That's a pro. He's in the peak of ecstasy, getting domed up.

But I think the girl's more into it if the guy is communicating with them. No, I don't need that. I don't need to hear him going, oh, fuck. I think these are different products that you're talking about. You know, sometimes you want to watch like a lovemaking scene, maybe a little dirty talk. You like raw. A little get after it. You like ambient noise.

I go for one thing. I don't need. Yeah, just I think the guy who's just, you know, biting his tongue. He goes, you know what? Some people don't want to hear me, and I can do that. That's a legend. That's a good legend. Love that professionalism.

Strider, what's your legend? Who's your legend of the week? Dude, my freaking legend of the week, dude, is got to be, and we've been doing it a lot on the pod right now, dude, because we had our New York trip, dude. But just straight up talking like New Yorkers, dude, like the New York talk and accent and energy that comes along with it. Like JT and I crushed MoMA, dude.

But the whole time we're walking there, dude, we're just like, we got to go up, we got to make a left on Madison. We got to go to the MoMA. Let's do this. We're going to MoMA. How do I get there? Because I'm going to take you to my museum. That's the MoMA.

And it's the best, dude. Just talking in that accent is so much fun, dude. Are you ready to see him agree? Because he's playful. I like him agreeing. He's gently playful. It's absurdity, but it's not over the top. Is he gonna mess around with my perspective right now? Yeah, he's gonna play with it a little bit. Because I got a perspective. He's gonna jostle you a little bit. Okay As long as he lets me know. What'd you think about the Picassos? Beautiful. You like that? You like the live in your demo solace? Beautiful. 25 years old when he did that. You kidding me?

25 years old. Kid? Kid, prodigy. Kid did that? Kid? Kid did that. Jesus, kids these days sticking around, jacking off, vaping. That's what I'm talking about. You know, this guy's making paintings.

He's painting. Beautiful. And you can do that. You can jack off and vape. But then do a little cubist painting on the side. I love that. Also, you know what I love? You know what I love? It's a bargain.

You go to MoMA, $25 ticket. You get to watch it. You get to see Picasso. You get to see Magritte. You love? It's a bargain. You get a MoMA, $25 ticket. You get to watch it. You get to see Picasso. You get to see Magritte. You get to see Cezanne. You get to see freaking Frank Lloyd Wright. All this good shit. Jackson Pollock.

Jackson Pollock, drip painting, freaking composing these pieces. Good shit. Rothko. $25. You know what else costs $25? Fucking go and see The Hobbit in 3D. Boom. Take that, Aaron Zink.

That's true. Come at you, baby. Come at you, baby. Hot down the pipe, baby. Suck it, Aaron. Boom. Suck it. Yeah. Come at you, baby. Hot down the pipe, baby. Suck it, Aaron. Boom. Suck it. Yeah.

Not really. What a nice slice of pie. Oh, baby, nice slice of pie. Aaron, who's your favorite painter? I'm an impressionistic guy, so I guess that would be... Is that Monet? Yeah, it might be Monet. Monet.

Or is it Monet? There's both, dude. That's what I was thinking. I'm like, who is it? I think it'd be Monet. Maybe some Van Gogh. No. Van Gogh's dope.

Yeah. Sorry, Knight. Van Gogh's definitely expressionist. It was there. We saw the Sorry, Knight. You did? Yeah, it's there. Dude, the MoMA's stacked.

Van Gogh's expression. Yeah. I watched The Brode recently. It was pretty tight. saw the starry night. You did? Yeah, it's there. The MoMA's stacked. I watched The Brode recently. It was pretty tight. The Brode's nice. It's pretty quick, but it's tight. Yeah, I've heard that family too has some nasty business practices, but all they're going to be remembered for is that nice museum. Dude. Yeah. That's called a rebrand. That's real re-notice.

I don't care what's happening behind the scenes. Give me the good stuff. I'll forget about it. Otherwise, keep your little horse-punching business out of my view of you, Picasso. Dude, my GF used to work at the Broad, and there was a donor, this wealthy lady. I think passed away, but anyway, she wanted all of her art. There's a Broad Theater in Santa Monica. Put in the women's restroom in Santa Monica, so it was just nicer in there.

Whoa. She had some nice paintings. Flex. She's like, it's amazing in there. Donated money just for that nice space. That's awesome. That's a nice way to go to the bathroom. My legend of the week is borrowed or stolen

from our friend Bree. She talked about this lady today when we were doing a questionnaire at the office. It was an icebreaker game, and we talked about who our heroes were. And Brie mentioned Wangari Mathai, whose name I'm for sure saying wrong. She's a Kenyan environmentalist who began a movement to reforest her country by paying poor women a few shillings to plant trees. And she went on to become the first African-American woman to win a Nobel Peace Prize. She died in 2011. But 2011 but dude what a beast

lived a hell of a life yeah that's awesome yeah reforested her country that's what's up let's go let's go let's fucking do something handsome ants i am fired the fuck up dude but you know mother earth yeah mother gaia yes he's like dude thank you so much for planting these trees oh dude that's nice that feels good when you plant those trees on my back oh you just put blow in the soil you put a little tree down there dude you put you put metaphorical bull chickens do what is your quote of the week my quote of the week comes from uh ed cap mule uh writer of Creativity, Inc., which is he's the president of animation at Disney and started Pixar, among other people.

He has a really super inspirational quote. He goes, I, like many of you artists out there, constantly shift between two states. The first and far more preferable of the two is the white hot, in the zone, sea of the pants, firing on all cylinders creative mode. This is when you lay your pen down and ideas pour out like wine from a royal chalice. This happens about 3% of the time. The other 90% of the time, I am in the frustrated, struggling office corner full of crumpled up paper mode. The important thing is to slog diligently through this quagmire of discouragement and despair.

Put on some audio commentary and listen to the stories of professionals who have been making films for decades, going through the sling and arrows of outrageous production problems. In a word, persist. Persist on telling your story. Persist on reaching your audience. Persist on staying true to your vision uh so he's a freaking legend thanks to uh the stoker cpm katty i think i got that but he sent the quote to me oh no he's like dude i read that book too it's legit so fire don't forget this quote so cp mccatty i'm gonna look up his name what a beast you guys can continue maddie what's your quote of the week i like things that are provide i just want to set

it up yeah uh i like things that are like provocative and invoke you know you to kind of get up and do something and uh big fan of uh i like Grip It and Rip It. I love that. Or, I have two options because I couldn't pick one that I like. Grip It and Rip It, you know, it's just like, let's, you know, do it, don't think. Kind of like the painter in construction. Time to dwell. And then a classic, just shit or get off the pot.

It's just a good one of like, kind of like instilling motivation in others? Like, okay, you know, let's figure something out. You like action. I do like action. I don't like, you know, teetering. I don't, you know, with people, you know, you work, you don't have time to like dwell and think on things. So shit or get off the pot and then grip it and rip it.

Love it. Love it. Strider, what's your quote of the week? My quote of the week is from a dank movie I just watched on Netflix called The King with J.J. I Know You Crushed. And I recommend it. It was Dank.

Tiffany. It was Tiffany. Timothee Chalamet was phenomenal. He's great in it, dude. He's great. I wish he was more jacked, dude. But that's what I liked about him is he still pulled it off. True.

True. And yeah. Yeah. Anyway, dude. Dank quote, dude. Written by Joel Edgerton, who also has a dank role in that movie. Is it Egerton or Edgerton? I think it's Edgerton.

Edgerton. Anyway, dude, he's got a dank quote where he says, Kings have no friends, only followers and foes. And you know, dude, the leader is a lonely position, dude. And I think, you know, have a little empathy for Henry V. Dude, you know, he's king, he's got it all, dude. But he's still a young guy making these decisions, and he's taking people's lives in his hands.

It seems like he values them, and he doesn't want to live by the sins of his fathers. And so that fired me up, dude. So just dank. You can sympathize with him on that. Yeah. Totally. Dude, it was a good line.

That really hit. And Joel Edgerton wrote the script, too. So not only delivers the line, but he wrote that line. It's like saying it's lonely at the top. Yeah it dude it's hanging over their head bro yep um all right mine is from the movie michael clayton it's uh brought to me by robbie robbie's my buddy who just sends me a bunch of fire articles that we typically cover on the pod and also he's sends me good quotes about movies the guy's just always firing on all cylinders and we were talking about how good Tom Wilkinson is in this movie, and I do, I think it's probably his best performance,

although in the bedroom's pretty fire. So George Clooney, Michael Clayton, is trying to get Tom Wilkinson's character back on track because he's kind of lost his mind, and now he's got their lawsuit up in the air because he's turned against the company they're supposed to be representing. But Michael Clayton knows things that he wouldn't be able to know unless someone was bugging Tom Wilkinson's house.

So Tom Wilkinson really turns on the big lawyer. He goes, Michael, I have great affection for you, and you live a very rich and interesting life. But you're a bag man, not an attorney. If your intention was to have me committed, you should have kept me in Wisconsin, where the arrest report, the videotape, eyewitness reports, my inappropriate behavior would have had jurisdictional relevance. I have no criminal record in the state of New York, and the single determining criterion for involuntary commitment is danger. Is the defendant a danger to himself or to others?

You think you got the horses for that? Well, good luck and God bless. But I'll tell you this. The last place you want to see me is in court. And then Michael Clayton takes it all in and goes, I'm not the enemy. bless but i'll tell you this the last place you want to see me is in court and then michael clayton takes it all he goes i'm not the nm i'm not the enemy and then arthur says then who are you dang dude s is the fire move chad what is your phrase of the week for getting after it uh my phrase of the week for getting after it is um i just i forgot to think of one so uh mine is let's let's

knock out a horse let's go nice nice maddie what's your phrase the week for getting after it get big or die trying love that fire strider oh this comes from valady when it gets busy it goes we go keys on the curb just means let's do this dude love it dude mine is from some of the finance talk i heard my bros and my dad doing it's abita earnings before interest tax depreciation and amortization it is a measure of a company's operating performance let's go abita baby oh i love abita let's abita baby that's the name of a... That'd be a sick nightclub in Vegas. Just Abita. You go there and close deals with just beats in the background. I guess it was the name of some guy's boat.

And they were like, what a douche. His boat was named Abita. I was like, that's douchey? They're like, it's super douchey. I was like, what a douche. Aaron, do you have anything of the week? Let's be heroes. Go plant some trees.

Yeah, man. Thank you, dude. Nice, dude. What a great way to end. Hard. All right, fellas. Matty some trees. Yeah, man. And frame it. Thank you, dude. Nice, dude. What a great way to end. Hard. All right, fellas. Matty, dude. Thanks, guys.

You're the best. Thanks for stopping in. Thanks, Duke Nation. Appreciate it. You guys are awesome. I appreciate it. Where should they follow you at? At Matty Chimber.

That's on all platforms. M-A-T-T-Y-C-H-Y-M-B-O-R. Post a lot of my stand-up clips. I do my own podcast maddie chamber podcast and i try to post some tour dates um once i get them i'm kind of tied up in la the rest of the year but i'll start traveling next year so you can check it out and come see me open for drew and i'm headlining spokane comedy club uh in march so just keep open for that and above all you got a big hog oh Oh, nice, dude.

Dude, it is bulging right now. Hell yeah, dude. I took a Cialis and I didn't boke it. Nice. I think I just said I threw it up because it made the story better. I think in reality I had a pretty hard... I would have taken another one and go... Medically induced boner.

I mean, dude, this is a little bit blue and crude, but we're at the end of the pod, but... So are Viagra pills. Doesn't a... Dude, fire, dude. Doesn't a Cialis always make you throw up out of your dong swag so all right let's let's go let's call it if you need advice these guys are really nice you want to know what to do and where to go. When you need someone to guide you, there's an outpost beside you. Go in deep. Go in deep.

Let's go deep. Go in deep. Get in there. Deep. I'm going deep I'm going deep