Going Deep with Chad and JT - Ep 118 - Big Announcement, Bloomberg Memes, and XFL

Episode Date: February 26, 2020

What up Stokers! On this episode JT talks about his dong situation, Chad talks about stepping into a political quagmire, and they talk XFLSponsored by Manscaped: Get 20% Off and Free Shipping with the code GODEEP20 at Manscaped.com. Clean up your nuts!

take that nugget and put in the sauce what's up stokers of stoke nation this is chad kroger coming in with the going deep with chad and jt podcast guys before we begin i want to remind you once again that we are brought to you by Manscaped. Manscaped, thank you so much for keeping our trims pubed, for looking after our hogs, for making sure that our dong pieces are looking fresh, because this is the premier company that looks after your groinal pubes and makes sure that they look fresh, that they're trimmed, that they're evenly trimmed. You know, you don't want to get all spotty and stuff. You don't want to look like a frig um farmland from above an airplane you know what i mean you want

that straight cut of grass like an mlb field but without the stripes i think beautiful actually with the stripes that'd be cool you can see that from an airplane you can see baseball diamonds yeah the different uh different uh uh fucking tones okay dude i had a dream last night that i was doing a manscape ad in like an auditorium yeah i've been having oddly specific dreams too that are very true to real life yeah i had one where i was like uh in like going for like an entertainment job and my dad was there really yeah and he was kind of blowing it for me oh nice i woke up and i felt bad that i casted my dad in that part yeah yeah it's tough dude my my stepdad was in this dream really and for some reason he was like i was like i gotta go so i like left and went and the next

thing i know i'm like in an auditorium and i'm like manscape thank you so much for keeping our trims pubed and like this whole auditorium was like yeah oh they were fired up they're fired up on the manscape it's good audience yeah so as they should be dude yeah so to anyone listening and to the people in my dream use code go deep 20 and manscape.com for fresh products and aaron have you been manscaping uh i am due for it and i'm looking forward to it. All right. Well, let us know, dude. I like that optimism. My lord, my legend, my liege. Aaron. How's it going?

Good, dude. Just chilling. Boom, clap, Stokers. Oh, I'm sorry. I forgot that I'm here with my compadre, John Thomas. What up? What up? Boom, clap, Stokers.

Yeah, it's good to be here, man. Everything's going hunky-dory. I feel good. Yeah. Glad to be on mic chatting with you yeah yeah it's nice yeah i like hearing i just like talking to a mic it's nice it feels great yeah yeah it makes you feel like your voice is so crisp yeah and i hope it sounds the way i hear it i would recommend it for everybody just get a mic and talk into it for an hour a day yeah yeah develop your

your radio voice oh for sure because everyone has their own idiosyncratic voice yeah you know yeah and it's just and i think they're all lovely oh for sure just gotta find that that right tone and then you'll be you'll be cruising maybe i'll just come in hot i got some big news guys yeah fire it off uh went to the doctor well first the doctor called me and told me I don't have subclinical hyperthyroidism like I said on a previous pod my test

results were a little bit out of the norm but he said all the symptoms I've been feeling have nothing to do with that but I did come down with herpes I have herpes now went to the doctor had some itching and some weird stuff popping up on my dode. Looked kind of like volcanoes. And then, yeah, went to the doc and he took one look and he said,

you got herpes. He didn't even test me. And he had a 19-year-old kid in there with him shadowing him. And it was hard. I got real sad right away. And then the doctor said, look, he's been my doctor since I was a kid. He said, hey, dude, look, you're not Superman. We're all human. I think that was a good call. And then I cried for 30 minutes and then I'm feeling fine now.

Yeah. Yeah, I mean, it happens. You seem good. It happens. Dude, I'm stoked on your vulnerability. I mean, I'm stoked that you're getting it out there for people to hear because, you know, the more, when you got the diagnosis, the more we learned about it, the more we were like, there's just a pretty gnarly stigma around it. Yeah. And it's a lot more common than we think.

I mean, I probably have herpes. Maybe. Because it's like one in four. Well, that's the thing, too, is I was actually being relatively safe. I had gotten tested and the person I was with had just gotten tested yeah and uh those tests are just pretty inaccurate like you kind of have to have an outbreak to know 100 what your situation is yeah and uh yeah i i have it now and and uh i'm dealing with it and it was it's like uh they say like one in four people have it,

you know? So I've been trying to talk about it. And I have had some people come up to me and be like, yo, I got it too. And like, it's a wide range of people. You know what I mean?

It's not just dirty dogs. It's a lot of, you know, good Christians out there. There's some solid people who, you know, are rocking it. They're rocking it hard.

And I'm, and I'm, yeah, I plan on rocking it. And actually, I went on a date with somebody else because I've been doing that. And I told them. Yeah.

And it was tough. Right. They swallowed it down like a snake swallowing down a 50-pound rock. Yeah. But we've stayed incommunicado and we're going to go on another date. So I, you know, I think obviously it's going to be a deal breaker for some people, but I think it's, to me, it's like, I wrote down a thing in my phone where I said, I'm going to work so hard to make this like the 12th thing people mention about me. Yeah.

You know? No, I mean, it's, uh, one way you could look at it for, uh, you know, potential dating partners is it's like a good filter to see like who's ready to cross that bridge for you. And who really, who really like, oh, she really likes me. Yeah. It's like there's no, if they're, you know, if they're, if they're, you know, down and they don't have it, then you know that they're really into you. Yeah. I feel a little scared about that, you know, but I don't have it then you know that they're really yeah and i feel a little into you yeah i feel a little uh scared about that you know but i don't know i think i think you know i just got to be safer and and be smart about it and tell people early on and then uh and then yeah we'll see how

it goes yeah but i'm not bumming on it that hard no i think i'm i take that over anxiety or the shame aspect. I don't know. I'm ashamed of times I was shitty to people. I'm not really ashamed of boning. It happens. It's crazy that when I learned you had it, I researched STD tests. They don't usually, I think you mentioned this earlier, they don't really test for it.

Yeah. Because I got one in May, and I called them up. I was like, because hearing how common it was. And they're like, yeah, we don't test for that. Yeah. Which is so interesting. I always assumed that was part of the package. Yeah.

But then the more you look but then you the more you look into it the more you realize you know it's it's uh there's just mostly just a stigma around it you know in reality from what i've heard you know it seems like it's just like an uncomfortable rash once or twice a year yeah maybe i heard some people they don't even get it again right they're like the first outbreak so i'm hoping for that kind of luck. Yeah. And I got the Valtrex, and I'm going to rub her up and just stay romantic. It could just be dormant in your vessel, just chilling, taking up space, and being like, what up? There's a chance it could just not say what up to your dong again dong again yeah oh dude that'd be nice dude yeah just came by say hello once and then you know fond memories for life but hopefully i never see you again dude

yeah we're not super fond but you know whatever and then you and i were when i was dealing with it like when i initially found out you and i I were walking through a mall. And I was like, oh, dude, these fucking herpes are killing me. And this mom and son in front of us were like... Weren't we on an escalator or something? Yeah, yeah. Good, they should know about it early. And you've got to let these kids know early that it's not that bad. Yeah, I don't think it's the worst thing that can happen to someone not by a long shot

no and uh yeah i don't know it is what it is nothing i can do about it now it it did it did kind of hurt on the date when i thought like i was being rejected for it but then at the same time it's like you know what i you know what i did after i scooted yeah and i felt good that i told her yeah like early too i told her early yeah and i was like i thought of this line from little women where they're like if i couldn't have someone's love i'd still have their respect and i was like yeah she'll respect me because i freaking told her what's up yeah and then but then she said she's going another day with me so yeah we're gonna go uh huck axes we're gonna throw some axes that's awesome yeah yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, at the end of the day, it might be like a shock for them to hear it first,

but the more they think on it, they're going to be like, wow, I really appreciate the honesty, and now I think I like him even more. Oh, dude, that's nice. That's a high picture going down. And I'm cool with the person who gave it to me. You know, no hard feelings. She's really sweet.

She's a really good person. She didn't know yeah she thought she was having like a uti yeah and then uh there wasn't any like visual evidence yeah and so we're good i i you know i uh admire her deeply fired up on the vulnerability and the honesty i think it's uh to anyone listening you know um i think your strength is going to be mean a lot you're nice thank you dude dude aaron what do you think i mean i was just curious how you know how you figured out how you got it and all that stuff like who well i was only sleeping with i've've only slept with one person since my breakup. And so it was kind of obvious. And then she was having, she was having symptoms, but we didn't know she was having symptoms,

you know? And then, so we were still having sex once in a while. And then, and then I went and got checked out and then she went and got checked out and we, it was confirmed. We both had it. I mean, there's, there's a possibility that I gave it to her you know and that's what's but i think i don't know but yeah she was like having like she's like oh like something hurts and i was like okay and then um but i didn't think it was i thought it was uh like the remnants of a uti or something

and then um or improper manscaping yeah exactly yeah and then uh something popped up on my on my my dode and i thought she'd put like a cleanser on my wiener because she thought that my like my dong was dirty and that's what was giving her the utis and then and then when that created something i thought it was from the cleanser i was like oh the cleanser like dried it out and made a spot. But then like five other spots popped up. I was like, oh, fuck, dude. And then I started getting like all these, you get like weird shocking sensations in your legs and in your butt.

And I was like, okay, something's going on here. And then I was pretty sure I basically mentally was like you got herpes well i went to one doctor locally and he was like no maybe it's not maybe it's from the cleanser but then when i went to my home doctor took one look at it he just said that's herpes bro yeah and i had like tears my eyes i was like you want to test it doc and then he's like you should no and then he's like dude literally he's like i don't need to test it. That's herpes 100%. Yeah. And I trust him. He's a great guy. And he gave me a nice hug.

He's a good dude. And then I just cried in the car, punched the steering wheel a couple times. Was a little frustrated with the person who gave it to me. But overall, it's like, you know, I was doing stuff where that stuff happens. And I've been reckless in the past. It's not a death sentence, though. No, no. I mean, it's like... It's almost like the herpes came and you're like,

what took you so long? I looked at her and I said, I thought you'd be taller. Yeah. When you came in, because you came in at work, and you're like, dude, I got a rash on my dong from this cleaner. I'm so pissed. Yeah.

And then you started to be like, maybe it's herpes. I was like, no way. There's no way. And then he texted me like, yeah, I got it. And I'm like, welcome to this day. I don't know what to say. No, you were totally nice about it. Yeah.

But it's, yeah, it's cool. And then, yeah, I don't know. So that's that. We'll see. And wrap up your dode. And if you have it, you got to tell people. Yeah. Not everybody.

But, you know, the people who will be impacted. But, yeah. Cool. Sweet. Sweet. How do you feel? I feel i feel good yeah talking about it yeah it feels normal to talk about yeah yeah wear a condom it's much better for your physical and mental health 100 for sure yeah well um you know i told my parents they're all good about it. Nice. Moving forward, we threw up a Mike Bloomberg.

Yeah, you got into some political heat. Well, the guy who runs our podcast account, Jack Siner, shout out. He's a legend. He made this meme, which I thought was so funny. I didn't realize it was circulating the internet so heavily. When I first saw it, I thought he came up with the entire concept yeah like i didn't follow any of the other meme accounts that were doing that uh that were doing the the bloomberg dm thing right yeah i saw it on fuck jerry and that's it right and i was like i was like oh that's funny and then i saw it was real and then he made it

and i was like i was like oh that's hilarious it just cracked me up so i posted it next thing i know 100 comments just like you sold out dude unfollowing way to get political i was like what dude yeah people thought the bloomberg campaign had paid you right yeah yeah i'm like i'm like how could you think that he would message me that which but in a sense it was kind of flattering because i'm like, how could you think that he would message me that? But in a sense, it was kind of flattering because I'm like... Well, it is plausible, I think. Yeah, I guess people are saying that we have the social... Reach.

Currency to get a freaking Bloomberg, but... Yeah, and everyone in the comments is like, Trump 2020 and all this different shit. I'm like, dude. I was like, dude, it's a small dong movement. And then people are fighting, and then like our friend Bree, who is a really funny cool person

who helps us with a lot of our stuff, and like comes up with ideas and whatnot, and someone went after her in the comments, and then I was like, maybe being over the top. I started defending Brie, but then me and that person got into a sidebar DM and we're actually super cool now.

Now we follow each other and we're good. Oh, you guys follow each other? Yeah, and I see all of her stories. She's actually really nice. Nice, nice. It was just, I think everyone just was so fired up. You know what I mean? And I got too fired up. I had to delete a few comments because i was like what am i doing yeah and then

and i was just like in my mind i was like guys this is small dong stuff okay we're not making any political statements this is small dong but also at the same time i don't even want to respond to like the i was like yeah i was like whatever you know this will well for you it was just like absurd You weren't thinking about like The The What would you call it What each candidate represents Or something like that

No I don't even know what they're doing I just learned who Mike Bloomberg was last week I was like oh nice a mayor But Well then you ended up being I think it all worked out as some kind of commentary on the whole situation I don't quite know what the commentary was yeah but someone was like oh that was like brilliant satire when you did that I was like hey if that's what you take away from it yeah I'll take I'm happy to be in the wake of that yeah I mean um it kind

of fired me up in the sense though of like how hilarious it is to fire people up like that. Yeah. To get people that heated over what you think is just a funny meme, and then people just go insane. I was thinking that night, I was like, man, I kind of opened Pandora's box of messing with people a little bit. No, which is good. Yeah, because I think we both, you know, want everyone to feel stoked, you know? But then sometimes you can be so cautious

trying to make everybody stoked. You forget that like, it's all right to rattle people's cages once in a while. It's sort of like in like big wave surfing when you're in big waves and you just don't want to wipe out because you're like, this looks terrible. Like, you know, I'm going to get thrashed. And then you wipe out on a big wave and you come up and you're in big waves and you just don't want to wipe out because you're like, this looks terrible. Like, you know, I'm going to get thrashed.

And then you wipe out on a big wave and you come up and you're like, that wasn't that bad. And then you just, it just, it builds up your armor to keep going out there and fear less. Until basically you have no fear, like the t-shirt. Fuck yeah. It was a very clever campaign by Bloomberg. You know? Yeah. like the t-shirt fuck yeah it was a very clever campaign by bloomberg you know yeah he's a that was like uh because it really did take off what aaron what did you see we posted that did you have an initial reaction you can keep it 100 uh i don't i don't know the meme and i i just look forward just to see what it was oh Oh, okay. That's the best.

That works. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know. I imagine Bloomberg does have a small dong, though. I mean, he's like 4'11". Oh, for real? He's a tiny guy, yeah. Nice.

Tiny guy, big wallet. Maybe that's why people bought it. They're like, wow, some guys who really know what I stand for. Yeah, it's just crazy times uh but bloomberg if you got a small hog shout out dude um tired up i'm fired up on you know your little your little thing so you know if there's some truth to that statement then what up what up what else whatever there was a couple weeks ago, Valentine's Day. Yeah. How'd you, what'd you do?

It was nice. We ordered some food from the grocery store, so we made food. She made, my GF made basically like pasta with shrimp. And I made a salad. I did a pretty shitty job. No. Yeah, dude.

I mean, I just – way over-calculating. I put way too much lettuce in, and I was like – I put together a salad. I'm like, I fucked this whole thing up. What else was in the salad? Give me the juice. Okay, so I put romaine lettuce. I put – she's like, what do you want for the salad? I'm like, I want romaine lettuce.

I want tomatoes. I want avocado and f. I put tomato. She's like, what do you want for the salad? And I'm like, I want romaine lettuce. I want tomatoes. I want avocado and feta cheese. Nice. And for me personally, I like lots of tomatoes. I always serve for one. I never serve for two. So I was just like, I dumped the whole bag of lettuce in.

I was like, I think this will be good for two. Then put like a bunch of tomatoes in and like a couple avocados. It was like a big bowl. And I was like, fuck. but it ended up being fun dude i got a i got a um a thing i did too i went to the xfl game uh-huh dude amazing yeah yeah the dude the wildcats get your claws up this is brilliant marketing get your claws up yeah i loved it that was the most organic cheering for a football experience cheering for a football team experience i've had in my whole life it's sad but i grew up in orange county you know yeah you got the chargers down south the la teams weren't there

and it was just uh it was you know we were we were football nomads and then i walked into the dignity health stadium horrendous name, and I cheered for the Wildcats, and it felt real. Yeah. And it was fire, dude. They got Josh Johnson as their quarterback, USD alum. You know, I've known about that dude since I was young, and it was good to see him slinging it for a California team.

And I don't know. It's just a great experience. It's funny that I saw Todd Gurley from the Rams was there. And I was like, I freaked out more seeing him than anything. And I'm like, oh, well, NFL players are still. But when you see Todd Gurley in an NFL game, he doesn't stick out as much because he's amongst other NFL players. But at the XFL game, you're like, that's Todd Gurley.

He wasn't playing though? No, no. He's on the LA Rams. So he's just watching? Yeah. And the fans were going crazy. The LA fans were great. Because it's cheap tickets too.

And everyone was going ballistic. They almost came back and won. It's funny too because they're a brand new team. So I was like, you really need to win because we're a fickle town. We're not going to pull for you unless you guys get the W. And then they came up short. But I was like, you know what? I'll still love you Wildcats.

I'm going to go to more games. And it's easy to get in and out of it's not like the coliseum where it's like 100 000 people and you're fucking in a body crunch and you think you're gonna you know yeah get smashed in a human pile it was like uh it was easy to get in and out of if you're in the lower rows at the coliseum do not drink tall cans because you'll never get to the bathroom yeah dude yeah it seems like at the xfl they're gonna have true football fans yeah that's what sounds like is happening to me i read this thing about billy joel that he was so tired of like rich yuppie people or whatever being in the front rows that he would he never sells tickets to the front row seats and he takes the people in the who are

in like the the nosebleed, puts them in the front. He takes a group of them, puts them in the front because he wants the true fans up top. Nice. Yeah. He's a legend. He wants the XFLers up top. Dude, it's great stuff. But they got to win.

We're fickle here. Maybe we're not. But I mean, look at what we did. Look at how we turned on Jennifer Lawrence. We turned on people. How we turned on her? I think they did. Yeah. I think we did to, you know, how we turned on Jennifer Lawrence. We turned on people. How we turned on her? I think they did. Yeah.

I think we did. The fans or the industry? Just the culture at large. We loved her and then we thought she was doing too much of what made us love her and it became caricature. That's actually my beef is around another person who I think has kind of gone through that transition. You think she'll be back?

She's back. Is she filming it? she's below the radar a little bit I think that's the place to be when you get to that oversaturation point yeah I don't know I don't know if she's in anything yet you want to do another ad

and then we'll do some questions? yeah guys what up I am interrupting this podcast to let you know once again that we are brought to you by manscape manscape thank you so much for keeping our trims pubed for looking after our hogs for making sure that our dongs are looking fresh and clean because when you freaking when you guys are tending after your dongs you want to make sure that your pubes look nice and trim and fresh okay like a fresh lawn um then you want them to look like the front lawn of

the white house you know where people are taking tender loving care so when you expose it to people when you show people and you take down your pants and you say this is my hog what up then people will be like nice pubes so use code go deep 20 at manscaped.com for 20% off

free shipping with the code go deep 20 you know valentines day is over but for me it never ends romance never ends so keep your trams pubed for the next valentine's day which hopefully for you is this friday if that makes sense okay uh that's it nice dude all right let's get into some cues my two-year-old says i'm a schmle. Hello everyone, especially JT's dad. In the most respectful way, he seems like a really awesome dude. My name is Hannah and I have a very sweet

two-year-old who is still working on words, but the worst thing has happened. She called me a schmole. I looked at my husband who just shrugged. I am hurt. I love my daughter, but I was not expecting her to call me out like that. And for my husband not to back me up, should i be mad at my daughter for calling me out or proud that she's handling a situation that has evidently gotten really bad and should i be mad at my husband for not backing me up where do i begin on finding the faults i have that make me a small i want to change i love my family i don't know what to do please help i know you stoke lords will know exactly what to say i It's tough, man. Yeah, I mean... Babies don't lie.

Yeah, it's kind of hard. It's kind of the worst fear right there is your child calling you a schmole, but... And I'm curious, was that amongst the baby's first words? Like, did schmole come before mom? Heartbreaking. That also means that your baby's kind of a ledge, too,

for picking up the jargon so quickly. Oh, for sure. That means you must be pumping the podcast around that little one. So big kudos to you for trusting us to inform your baby's mind. Yeah, for sure. At such a malleable age. I mean, yeah, basically congrats on your child being a savage um but you know i think uh

it could either be one of two things maybe you were being a schmole which i don't think you were you sound like a very nice lady and a good mom so i think you were not being a schmole i think this is you know this child is two years old, and you don't know what kind of hormones are pumped through that body. But this sounds like, you know, pre-toddler rebellion. So I don't worry too much about it. I think it's a natural part of growing up and natural part of development. And, you know, you can only go up from here. here i mean you start out as a schmole

the only way is up so yeah at some point every kid thinks their parents are schmole so it's good for your kid to get out of the way of two and then from like four on it's going to be smooth sailing oh yeah you're dealing with the rebellion phase right now yeah so yeah you're just getting this out of the way now i mean it's it's going to be a tough two years but then you're going to come out and you guys are going to be, you know, just crushing like Bruce Willis movies together, whatever you like to do and just living it up. And I think,

I think there's an instinct to like, you know, want to punk your baby to let it know that it's the small, because it like requires you to, to survive. Yeah. But I would resist that and approach it with empathy. And I think you're doing that because in your question,

you talked about how you can improve. So don't be hard on yourself. But yeah, think honestly about what you're doing that might make your baby think that you're a schmole. And, you know, do it with compassion for yourself. And then, you know, maybe tweak that stuff. And, you know, I wouldn't be mad at your husband. I think he was probably caught between two people he loves and he didn't want to take sides but you can tell him respectfully like

honey next time our little one says that i'm a schmole i'd appreciate it if you let him know how dank i am and i think that'll uh you know it'll provide balance which is what i think he could serve up in that moment yeah you brought up a very important point too i mean if your baby calls you a schmole and you want to boke your baby it's kind of tough to do because usually that results in jail time yeah or just you know getting labeled as a bad parent and the baby yeah and if the baby wants to boke you you know if the baby wants to boke her mom uh then pretty quickly she realized you're not the schmole. You're the one providing for and caring for. Yeah.

And then she's gonna be like, I'm the schmole for trying to poke my freaking mom. And so, I mean, only good things will come out of this, but I respect the pickle that you're in. And, um,

you know, your husband, he's just, I think he's, I think he's playing as cool as he can, you know? Um, he's letting this baby find out, you know,

who to call a schmole and who not to. So I think he's doing a legit job. And there's probably a part of him too that's like, oh, I'm glad I'm not the schmole, you know? And you have to just let people have that for a moment. For sure. But if he starts flexing on it and he's like, oh, baby thinks you're a schmole and I'm not a schmole.

Yeah. And you're like, watch it, bro. Yeah. You know? flexing on it and he's like oh baby thinks you're a schmole and i'm not a schmole yeah and you're like watch it bro yeah you know because you made half the thing that's calling no no i think i think if he starts to flex and it's like all right you get to do the shitty things as a parent you get to take away the goldfish yeah during rocket power right you get to take away the gogurt uh during um door of the explorer and then who's the schmole now then he gets called the schmole and then you take the noble route and you don't rub it in his face and then i mean yeah that's what's up i just got an idea oh dude it is do a little doc mcstuffins role play where your husband is fixing you up to take away the shmuelness

oh injection to remove the shmuel from you in front of the baby yeah so so some like theater yeah yeah because i didn't catch the ref but i like this i like the the senior painting that works good stuff then the baby's clapping hands loving it all yeah yeah make the mom and do a hero which they are dude for sure how do i save my girl from this schmo yo what up dogs i'm a high school junior from utah i need advice on what to do with my relationship with my ex we broke up about a year and a half ago and i've only hung out a couple times since then we stopped talking about eight months ago and it's super awkward right now i still care about her and have feelings for her but the only problem is that she has a senior

boyfriend now he is a total schmole and not social at all i've tried talking to him and getting to know him but he's super rude and standoffish but i've tried to talk to her but i don't see her often because they don't go out or whenever whenever i see her they're together how can i get back to the point where we're friends again and I can make my move to save this total babe from this total giraffe dick? Thanks. Giraffe dick. By the way, love the pod. Keeping my stoke up every day.

Thanks for giving us Mormons a nice shout out. Utah loves chatting JT and Joe's massive dong. Thanks, dogs. Oh, hell yeah. Oh, yeah, for sure, dog. Nice. Dude, so yeah, I think you got to... I think he's got to let her do her thing yeah i think you gotta let it go because it's not really your place you're saying that he he wants to steal her is what he wants it sounds like he

wants her back he wants her back well how do you do that i mean is there a non-greasy way to do that i don't know man i think your soul is going to take some hits i think there's a couple noble ways you can do it you know you can challenge the guy to a decathlon an academic decathlon yeah and if you win she'll know that that you're top dog but other than that all the other stuff there's too much danger baked into it and the other route has too much sleaziness baked into it so yeah I would just challenge

him to a brain off and then if that doesn't work you just gotta keep it moving yeah for sure I mean I I think in this situation you either gotta let it go, because if you're going to go approach her and be like, this dude is a total schmole, that'll just backfire on you.

I mean, you just got to let things occur as they will occur, you know? You can't control what's happening in the universe. You can't control the schmole. You can't control what's happening in the universe. You can't control the shmuel. You can't control her. All you can control is what you do and your judgment on things that occur. And that's Buddhism for you in a freaking nutshell. And that's when things start working out better for you. Yeah.

Dude, I've said it before. Parable of the unicorn. You go chasing that unicorn through the forest. You're going to cut down all the trees. And by the time you're done, there's going to be no forest, and you're going to have no unicorn. But if you have a pretty picnic and you play the mandolin, that unicorn's going to come walking right up to you, dude.

For sure. And this unicorn will probably be a different unicorn than the first unicorn, which isn't your unicorn anymore. Yeah. And probably never was. It's never our unicorn. Yeah, so... We just get to pet it for a while for sure

yeah so i would say you know instead of worrying about her and what she's doing because i'm sure you're a fire dude you know i would start reading marcus aurelius's meditations and maybe some buddhism stuff so you know you can learn to let go of the way you're feeling about these things and uh change the because i mean stoicism is all about you got to change your judgment on things that occur so that or decathlon um you know uh crush him in some trivia um maybe play bingo and rig the game and beat him all good good options. Yeah. JT's jacket inspiration. What up, my brothers?

I wanted to reach out and personally thank JT for his sage wisdom. On a recent pod, JT talked about, this one's very, I saw the name and I had to read it. I'm sorry. JT talked about branching out into the unknown wearing a jacket that was loud

that he knew could elicit a reaction from many. Yeah, I got it sitting on my chair today. This kind of courage inspired me. I went to the Gap the next day and set off a mission to honor jt's courage and to join him in the fashion empire i wore this jacket to give a speech at college then hit it off afterwards for the first time with a beautiful betty god bless you chad thank you for your commitment to tanning it inspired me to tan every sabbath i think god has amped on my commitment to rest and raise wyatt here's his jacket that he bought.

Oh, wow. Oh, dude, he got the fur collar. And the smile that goes with it, dude. You can tell he's really feeling, he's feeling sexy. And you know what? You look sexy, my friend. So good on you, Wyatt. He's got nice flow, too. He's got nice hair.

Yeah, dude, keep boning in your jacket. I love it. What up, Chad? What up, JT? My name is Alex. I always listen to you guys for advice and it's increased my stokeness. I'm in college and lately I've been super busy

and still trying to maintain and do fun stuff. Lately, I've been seeing my crush around campus multiple times. She gives me good signals and when she sees me, she always wants to talk to me. But since I have been seeing her a lot lately, it's been kind of weird because I see her every day. We only have talked a few times

and haven't had a deep convo or actually hang out with her outside of campus yet we talk every day but there are short and kickback convos with other bros i feel there's a reason for me to be seeing her every day and means i have to ask her out sometime valentine's day is coming up and i feel that i don't have the balls to ask her out chad jt what can i say bro how can i raise my stokeness to have the balls to ask her out thank you boysT, what can I say, bro? How can I raise my stokeness to have the balls to ask her out? Thank you, boys, and stay living it up, my dogs. Dude, sorry we missed you before Valentine's Day. But, I mean, just because the holidays pass doesn't mean you can't go out there and say what up.

And you know what, dude? I mean, you just got to go out there and do it. And don't be too attached to the outcome. Just approach her. Be confident. Say, hey, I feel a solid connection. In fact, I feel sparks between us. And I would love to take you out for a daiquiri,

whether that be a virgin daiquiri or not. It's up to you. But that's what I want to do. How do you feel about it? She's be down bro yeah and if she's not you feel that pain and then you move on but she's gonna be down yeah the more pain you feel the more rips you get in that heart the stronger it's gonna be then you're gonna have the heart of a guy like who sprints every day and and just like it's pumping out massive amounts of oh two that's awesome i love that a romantic oh two yeah as your heart's gonna be as jacked as maury screen aaron what do you think you should say to her

jacked his mori screen aaron what do you think he should say to her what he should say to her oh you don't have to get into specifics but how do you think he should approach it well yeah definitely don't i mean i know it's after valentine's day but like definitely would not have put that pressure on it oh good call good call you know yeah you got to be dating for a little while before valentine's day to even like really treat it huge yeah um wait he wanted to go out with her on valentine's day it was coming up that's what he said in the oh dude that's crazy yeah you can't do that dude oh is that what he's asking i think so oh all respect to you man and i love that you have these grand ambitions for the relation. But if you're going to scare off a lot of people asking about on Valentine's Day, it's a.

Yeah, it's a day fraught with meaning. Yeah. What up, Stoke Lords? I got a situation. I've been dating this girl for over a year and a half and she hasn't stayed the night. I just bought a house last summer and it's not that she doesn't want to stay but her mom is super overprotected could be considered a helicopter parent i'm 22 and my gf is 20 how do we come about the sitch to her how do we come about the sitch to her mom without

causing beef and making awkward but at the same time getting the point across that she's not a kid anymore and can stay the night in my crib thanks for reading casey from no deck bro you get more flies with honey. Like I wouldn't try and be like stern with the mom at all and be like, Hey, look, we're adults. We can do this.

I think that's going to read as a defensive and aggressive at the same time. I think you got to win this mom over. She's got to know you're a legit dude. Who's going to protect her daughter and has her daughter's best interest at heart. And how do you do that? Invite her over for dinner and just play the long game.

Earn the trust. Really earn it through honest, diligent, integrity-infused action. And then the mom's going to give you the green light. And then you and your sweet honey are going to, you know, have mom-sanctioned pow-pow. I like that. And if she doesn't let you, I mean,

you can take solace in the fact that you'll probably get, you're probably getting a better night's sleep, uh, without her there for sure. Um, so just be like, well, yeah,

I'm getting good rest. I'm getting my eight hours. I feel refreshed and I feel ready to give a hundred percent, 110% to this relationship every day because I'm taking care of my health by sleeping. Dude, I feel you too. I feel you on that. But dude, for me, it's like,

that's the hardest part about not being in a relationship is late at night. At 11 o'clock every night, a wave of anxiety just comes over me and I just have a strong need to be comforted by someone. And then so I just have to do it with meditation, but you know, which is legit. Well, damn Jackie, I can't control the douchebags. What up Chad and JT and the rest of the Stoker crew.

That was the title. I come to you for advice as a Chica follower who wants a male perspective. Love listening to the pod as I've mostly grown up as one of the guys, girls next door stereotypes. And your humor reminds me of that. I noticed the majority of the questions on the pot are dudes asking for relation advice. I've been single for a year, kind of playing the field and working on myself. It's been dope. Now back in the dating game, I've noticed a pretty big pattern and I don't know how to approach it.

So many dudes will give the same lines about how awesome our dates are going or how cool they think I am only to fade out after a few dates. I'm 26, have my shit together, together support myself independently but i'm also in touch with being feminine with feminine i generally like to i generally like to think these dates are going as well as the guys verbalizes but i'm starting to get a little guarded with this build-up and then disappearing act what advice do you have for girls who follow your pod that, that are getting mosted. Mosted. I never heard that before. Um, yeah, Jackie, I'm sorry. You're dealing with that. That's a, you know, it's not fun when, when someone makes you feel one way and then, and then they're, they're not, uh, they're not following through on it.

I think, uh, I think sometimes people, they just like the momentum of dating, but they don't really want to sit in it. Yeah, I agree. And I would, you know, I don't want to tell you too much what to do because I don't really know what the answer is. But I'd say a lot of times in those early on uh in those early on dating stages i feel like it's either a lot of times it's either like one of two things either you're putting too much effort into it up top it could scare people away or you're not putting

enough effort into it um and for me personally oftentimes with the ladies you know they always tell guys like guys play it play it cool, you know. But sometimes if girls play it too cool, I'm like, oh, she's not interested. So I don't pursue it any further. So I don't know which is the case for you. Maybe you're doing it perfectly. I don't know. But, you know, I would sort of maybe try to assess that a little bit and be like, well, did I show this guy enough that I'm interested too?

Or maybe did I let him know early on that I'm too interested? I hate that there's that balancing act, but I think unfortunately it's part of the game. it's crazy. I mean, dating is so hard. Just being back out there a little bit. It's like,

I mean, we're all so in our heads. Yeah. You know, we just don't want to be rejected. And then, you know, guys, we're also crazy horny. Yeah. And it's a terrible combination. Yeah. And for me personally, I like when girls up top let me know that they're interested. I love that. I love it.

It takes a lot of the pressure off. Yeah. Because I'm like, now I know we're not playing this stupid ass game of like, you know, I'm not going to text you back for like three hours to like build up the attraction. It's like, that's all fucking horse shit, you know? And you want to spend time with someone who makes you feel good. Yeah. You know? Yeah.

Maybe that's just me because I'm like a border collie. Yeah. But one of the things I really loved about my last girlfriend was that right away, she was just having a great time when we hung out. Yeah. You know? Yeah. And she was like invigorated.

She had vitality. Yeah. You know? That's the most exciting thing someone can have is just be, is they're excited. Yeah. And also, yeah, I think you brought up a good point too it's like what's the what's the in a lot of books i already know about like improving yourself and stuff or like from business people they're like what they learn when they learn the secret to doing what they do a lot of it was just like i became successful when

i started having fun and i think if you take that approach to relationships where you're like, you know what, I'm just going to go out there and have fun. I'm going to enjoy myself. That is contagious to other people, and they will be drawn to that. So I think if you just have the core belief, tell them in your mind, my goal right now is to have fun, then people are going to have fun with you. And before you know it, you're going to have a whole squad just being like,

when are we going to Wendy's tonight? I want to get nuggets. Beef of the week is with Tad. Bros, I love you guys. I listen every week and you guys give me stoke beyond measure. You bring sunshine to my rainy days in Vancouver, BC, Canada. I have a beef of the week to pick with your pod, though. I just

listened to episode 108 with Tad aka Molly bro. Oh I didn't realize you meant that Tad. It's super kill that he's trying to spread the word about another way to find bliss in this chaos that is life but this pod has kids listening and shit. I don't think it's dank for listeners to listen to the show and think that Molly every day is the way to fulfill your life's purpose.

I think you should too should acknowledge that drugs can be a big problem for some people and that that blanket statement isn't just dropping M every day to make your life better. You guys are so great at building the stoke in healthy ways. And I think there should be a disclaimer about Tad's theory on Molly. We addressed this briefly on an earlier podcast. And I hear you. You have to understand it wasn't our intention for that to be the message. We were trying to do something else and I don't think it came through to everyone. Look, we absolutely do not think you should be doing Molly every day. Like, that's fucking crazy. Of course you should not be doing Molly every day.

that's fucking crazy. Of course you should not be doing Molly every day. Look, I, I, I don't even do drugs. And like, I used to though, but like, I don't even do drugs. And when my friends start doing drugs now, I'm like a holy roller. I'm like, Hey guys, slow down. I'm bringing them water bottles all the time to make sure they're hydrated. And you know, I, I, and I, I try to take the energy out of that, like competitive drug taking that goes on where everyone's like, Hey, you beat a bitch or whatever. Like I hate that shit. So, and I like, I'm getting too defensive. I just, I, yeah, it would make me very happy if people took away from this podcast

that they were going to live healthier. So, yeah. I agree. Don't take Molly every day. Do sprints every day. Yeah. Thank you for the email. Yeah. Don't do Molly every day. Please don't take molly every day um do sprints every day yeah thank you for the email yeah don't do molly every day please don't do molly um all right chad what is your beef of the week uh

my beef of the week is with uh the mcdonald's monopoly game uh i was watching this new doc which is amazing you should check it out by the way it's called mcmillions it's on hbo i heard it's so good it's so good um but as a kid i was so into the mcdonald's monopoly game like there's one summer i think it was like fifth grade i was playing it i would have my mom take me to mcdonald's every day i'm like mom i'm getting fries every day and mcflurry's and i'm getting fries every day at McFlurry's, and I'm going to win this game. I'm going to boardwalk and get a million dollars.

And she was on board too. She was like, I freaking love this game. I love eating some of your McFlurry's, and I love you, son. And I was like, thank you, Mom. So we were playing the game, and then we come to find out, you know, the game and uh then we come to find out you know after the game is over that mcdonald's basically faked the faked it so that they could catch people who were playing it fraudulently and they're like so basically no one was able to win really yeah and they were trying to catch which you know respect to them for trying to find people who were faking it, but also not respect to them.

And you guys are schmoles for tricking me into playing that game and thinking I could win. And just, you know, I don't know. You know, my beef is with them for tricking me because, you know, it really broke my heart. It made me lose a lot of trust in fast food establishments um and but i think the good uh side of it is that i had a lot of good times with my mom so shout out to my mom uh we ate a lot of mcflurry's together and you know that was a good time so you know i appreciate you mcdon's, for the good times you brought me. But also, fuck you for having to spend probably thousands of dollars on your products so that we could not win that speedboat or a million dollars. Nice, dude.

My beef. Good beef. My beef of the week is with, and this isn't dude it's not even a strong beef my beef of the week is with jorge jorge masvidal he's like a ufc fighter i really like and what was so cool about him last year is that he really came into his his own after like 15 years in the game and he had like three fights where he just performed phenomenally but i think his shtick has gotten a bit too shticky. What I liked about him so much was that he was authentic.

And now the lines are starting to feel more canned. The outfits are getting more outrageous. And it kind of feels like he's becoming a parody of himself. And I just, I've seen this process happen so many times with athletes or entertainers that I like, and it just bums me out. You know what I mean?

I just want to see him scale it back, do less press, and just kind of be the quiet guy who had to be forced to talk, not the guy who was eager to talk. But the hard part is he makes money from talking. So it's like, you know, what can you do? But I just, I don't know. I guess my beef is just with the ephemeral nature

of appreciating public figures. I just, you always go through this invariable, you know, disillusionment with them. I guess my beef is just with the ephemeral nature of appreciating public figures. You always go through this invariable disillusionment with them, and I'm going through that right now with George or Jorge. What's his shtick? He just kind of acts super badass and would be like, I don't know, ask me if I want to fight Conor McGregor. Do you want to fight Conor McGregor? He, do you want to fight Conor McGregor?

He's eating, like, a huge pizza slice. Back in the day, he wouldn't have had a huge pizza slice. Nah, that little dwarf doesn't want to fight me. Come up to 170, get his fucking ass rocked. He doesn't want that fight. Chad, who is your babe of the week? My babe of the week is Disney CEO Bob Iger. I've been listening to his book, The Ride of a Lifetime.

It's been pretty sweet. It has been the ride of a lifetime listening to that book. Yeah, I think he's just a beast. I mean, you know, I've always loved Disney as a kid. I love Disneyland. And I think anyone who's able to climb that ladder and get to the top I mean he's got to be a beast and in interviews he seems like a super nice guy and you know like I'm not the biggest fan of Marvel movies and Marvel in general but I respect what he's done for Disney and with Pixar and a lot of the stories with Steve Jobs are hilarious

and with pixar and uh a lot of the stories with steve jobs are hilarious like he's talking about steve jobs is like yeah so uh i took my son to see iron man 2 it sucked really that's hilarious you sounded hilarious um pretty intense though you sound like an intense guy um but uh yeah bob eiger he just uh i think he's think he's done a good job for Disney, and I've enjoyed listening to his book, and he seems like a cool guy, so I would like to kick it with him one day. And thank you for teaching me some of the lessons of how you acquired your job. It sounds like you went through the ringer trying to become CEO, so respect to him

and also i like that he kind of um his whole his basic teaching is like i like i always like guys who are like yeah you know i didn't have the most um like him and like george Clooney are always like, I will outwork anyone. I always respect people who are like that, who are like, you know, he's like, I went into this business,

not really knowing much about entertainment, about television. Like he ran ABC for a while and not knowing much about ABC or movies and stuff. But he's like, I worked hard, harder than anyone. I learned the craft. I learned this stuff. And now I'm on top. So I think it's like, I worked hard, harder than anyone. I learned the craft.

I learned this stuff and now I'm on top. So I think it's just, uh, it's really inspiring to anyone out there who's trying to do something huge. So, uh, yeah, so he's my baby beast,

my baby of the week. And it's long overdue is the onion. Oh, nice. I just think for years, they've just been pumping out the funniest content they take on everyone they have the best jokes and they just rip everything to shreds in the most fun way possible i i couldn't really find a great one

right now but i'm just going through their instagram page thinking about grandma does little to prevent man's ejaculation um wait i i what is the what is the headline again thinking about grandma does little to prevent man's oh that's what i said okay i got you that's funny um parenting experts reveal forcing child to shoot dying pet only teaches lesson about mortality for first five or so times. Yeah, that's so funny. They're just the best. Everything they do is just hilarious.

And I just, I respect their writing so much. And yeah, I just love you guys. So big ups to The Onion. Chad, who is your legend of the week? My legend of the week is this guy on McMillian's, Doug Harris. He's an FBI agent. Nice. Funniest FBI agent I've ever seen. Check out this doc, guys.

He's just like, you know, we were talking about how you should approach each situation having fun. Like this guy is like the epitome of that. He's just like super amped to go undercover. He's like, dude, I saw this case about McDonald's and fraud. I was like, I'm in. And he's just like the silliest dude, but he's also an FBI agent, which I thought, you know. I was like, that's the way to be.

That's the way to be. Even if you're in a position where you're supposed to be a serious guy, you can still bring stoke to it and go undercover wearing a Hawaiian and take down some dudes who are defrauding McDonald's. Is that the right phrase? Defrauding? Yeah. Nice. So, yeah, guys, check out the doc.

This dude, Doug Harris, is hilarious so that's my legend uh my legend of the week is my buddy robert beast been a buddy since we were kids i love this guy dearly he was always the uh the point guard of the crew Like he always was making plans and setting things up and getting things in motion and always wanted us to be there on time and, and was just a real operator. And yeah, I don't know how colorful I can get, but he was, he was, was always just had an entrepreneurial spirit and he's, and he's transitioned into adult life beautifully. And I just always enjoy talking with him. He's hilarious.

He's energetic and he's smart. And he's a great guy. And him and his beautiful wife, Katie, they had a beautiful boy, Jack. And unfortunately, he had some medical issues and he had to have a big surgery. But from what I'm seeing, he came out of it nicely today. And yeah, I'm just happy for you guys. My heart's with you. Robert, I love you, buddy.

You're the man. And, you know, his whole fam's great, too. I just grew up with them, and they're really nice people. So, yeah. All right, my dog. What is your quote of the week? I don't know. I've got to look one up.

Sorry. Damn it, I don't know. I've got to look one up. Sorry. Damn it. I don't know. Who has good quotes? Winston Churchill. Winston Churchill. Albert Einstein. Carl Sagan.

Arthur Schopenhauer. I like Carl Sagan. Jean-Paul Sauer. I like Carl Sagan. Jean-Paul Sartre. What about Jean-Paul Van Damme? Jean-Claude? Jean-Claude Van Damme? Is that what? Yeah, JCVD. Oh.

Oh, yeah, Jean-Claude. He's probably got some good quotes. I mean, I bet you most of his good quotes no one ever wrote down because they were at 3 in the morning and had an empty bag of Coke right next to him. Yeah. Oh, here's one. This is Jean-Claude Van Damme. I'm fascinated by air.

If you remove the air from the sky, all the birds would fall to the ground, and all the planes, too. Dude, that to the ground, and all the planes too. Dude, that's the best quote we've ever had. Unbelievable. Thanks. Mine is from the TV show Enlightened, one of my favorite shows, and this is my favorite episode, season two, episode three, where Luke Wilson in his best part goes to rehab in Hawaii.

And he's kind of an asshole the whole episode because he just can't he just can't buy in. But by the end of it he just decides that even though he can't buy in he's just going to pretend to buy in and see what happens. Because you know he hasn't had luck doing it his way. So why not just try the other way.

And this is the ending monologue that he writes back to his girlfriend, the main character of the show, Laura Dern who told him to go. Hey, Amy. I'm still here. I'm doing their dumb trust games. Getting fat on the shitty food. You see, today we had another guided meditation.

They told us to remember a time when we were our best self. Never been my best self. The closest to it I could think of was the person you thought I was in the beginning. I remember you talk about me like I was this great, beautiful person. I thought, who the fuck is she talking about? You saw something in me that didn't exist, or maybe it did. Maybe you're my higher power. I don't believe in much, but I believe in you. maybe you're my higher power I don't believe in much but I believe in you

love Levi alright what's your phrase of the week for getting after it let's stuff the oreo oh nice dude let's pack the banshee full of gunpowder alright let's corona the virus oh baby scary stuff with that look if you think you're sick stay home yeah raise the stoke at home

dude my mom's on a cruise right now and she could, did I talk about this? Crazy, crazy town. And, uh, you know, if they detect coronavirus on the cruise, they're like, it's quarantine for 14 days. You just have to sit in your cruise ship room for 14 days. Oh man. She'll be all right.

Yeah. No, she's got two days left. So I think she's cruising. Guy today kept it. We went to a meeting. I kept using the word kismet. Oh yeah. That was nice I like that word

Yeah Destiny fate Your mom's got good kismet Kismet There it is Guys as always We were brought to you by Danny Babona

And UCI Baseball If you're a young buckaroo And you can throw or hit The place to go is UCI They should call it UC Newport Beach Because it's right there And we're also brought to you by douglas lubricant guys you like to bone and you like to bone well and when you bone you like to bone smooth okay and that's why you should bone

with the best in the business i'm talking about douglas lubric okay? Slather up your dong with some fresh lube, and they have tons of flavors, you know, cherry, vanilla, grape, mango, which is tropical, nice, you know, maybe if you're going to Tahiti or Hawaii. They also have original, anal. So whatever mood you're in, Douglas will take care of it and I'll make sure that you got some smooth boning going on down there. Yeah. Don't think you luber can't because you luber can. And guys, we're going to end this episode with a song from our friend Austin

Miller. He did the theme songs for the show, and he wrote a very personal, very raw song about him and his lover, and I just think it's wonderful, and it's packed with all sorts of genius and crazy, and it reminds me of The Replacements, and I'm reading a book about them. Yeah, I think you guys will like it. There's something wrong with you.

I feel like someone who loves me. I'm crazy but you don't care. You're insane. I can't fall in love. I'm a man of my own love I'm a man that can't hide my style I'm a narcissist I'll let this all pour And move about me

You like when I'm nasty I don't scare you when I yell at strangers I have thought of himself If you Don't know There's plenty wrong with me One time I told some white Nazis I buried their

homes alive They didn't tell me which way to end I just started on I'm just starting this for the moment I need a

library I wonder when you will come to know you you you

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you you you you you you you you

you you you you you you you you

you you you you you you you you

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you you you Still I wrote this song for you It's about me and how I'm not an insult Insult That's just it Margo Just a square foot How could she know We're late to work So we can fuck Even in my dreams I can wait