Going Deep with Chad and JT - Ep 138 - Strider Joins

Episode Date: July 1, 2020

What Up Stokers! Strider is in the building! We talk about how to save baseball, our dream backyard, and nailing alien aesthetics. Sponsored by Manscaped: Get 20% Off and Free Shipping with the code GODEEP20 at Manscaped.com. If you wanna trim your pubes during a contagion.

What's up bros it's going off and it is Chad Kroger with the going deep with Chad and JT podcast guys before we begin I'll remind you once again that we were brought to you by Manscaped Manscaped thank you so freaking much for keeping our trims pubed, for looking after our little hogs, and making sure that they look fresh and clean, like an antiquity statue. Straight up marble dongs. And if

you want a marble dong for yourself, use code GODEEPWW at Manscaped.com. Dudes, how are your dongs looking? Pretty good, dude. dude pretty solid you know just um yeah nice base i mean always of course small but um you know for that being the norm like solid just you know good as good as can be expected you know hell right hell yeah yeah when do you think you first developed comfort with your penis

i think it's um probably honestly i'm not just saying this but like you know how when you would when you'd pull out your dong at a party like it would really get the bros amped you know what i mean like would be it'd be it'd be like a pregame it'd be a bunch of the bros jtb like a dank song would come on like like, Genuine My Pony. And we'd all start vibing and dancing. We dropped a little trowel, and I wouldn't want to. But then, honestly, that lack of judgment that would happen during that really, really helped. And this was high school times, and this was, you know, locker room times.

And I remember being a freshman, coming out of basketball practice. I considered wearing board shorts into the shower. I remember being a freshman coming out of basketball practice. I considered wearing board shorts into the shower. And I remember this dude, Chase Borkowski, who's a chiller, has one of the best crossovers in Orange County basketball history. Yeah. And he was like— Strong guy.

Yeah, very strong and artistic guy. Great taste in music. He would carpool with me. So he sort of took me under his wing, and he's like, dude, listen, dude, strider, that's a death sentence if you wear the board shorts. No matter how small it is, you have to go in there and own it and so i would say just being influenced by strong men like jt and chase and then once again like i think it's a renewed comfortability every day like there are some days that are easier and better than others and some days that are tough dude like you know days I just, it's not there for me.

Honestly, it'll be 98 degrees out, and I won't even leave my apartment, and I'll probably put on snowboard long johns and jeans because I just don't want any chance of that thing coming out. I was at a 7th grade birthday party for this kid, Michael Tubb, and a Destiny's Child song came on, and to make a spectacle of myself, I yanked my boxers up. I pulled my pants down, still with my boxers on.

And I yanked them into a G-string, like up my crack and on the peripheral of my penis. And one of the older girls at the party, Jessica, she was an eighth grader. So, you know, much older. She said, I saw JT's penis. It's small. She started laughing about it other people started circling up she's like i saw his dick it's really really little and then i remember i was i was up in my g-string and all my energy just came out of my body and then i just got sad

and um i went and sat down on a couch and i was trying to act like i wasn't flustered and then this kid michael martin came up he's like hey bro she's sitting over there saying that you have a really small penis and I was like she doesn't know shit man but the only way I could disprove it was by pulling on my penis and I wasn't willing to do that so because I knew she was right and I went to school on Monday and my whole life was different I lost every argument I had that year even if I had made better points because the other kids would go, you have a small dick. And that was a huge trump card. Brutal. Against any kind of, you know, I don't know.

Any kind of thing I was trying to throw back at them. Yeah. Yeah. Can I tell a little more uplifting story about my little dink? I would love that. I think it would be a very, very welcoming moment, thing to do. So I played hockey for uh three months that's sick i didn't know that about you that's sick yeah i just i i really wanted to get into contact sports so i was like mom can i do this hockey camp in and she's like for sure so we went to veil and um i met this canadian dude zach and dude i mean he was just quintessential hockey player

jacked had that t-rex posture because his glutes were so big you know just straight up like this his ass just naturally sticking out and you know we just chopped it up because he's like i'm from montreal we can booze at 18 it's sick are you from california he was like fasting with california he's like yeah you guys just like smoke weed and just like you know uh have orgies right and i'm like yeah pretty much and um and then we're in the locker room and like he dropped trow and the dude had just a hammer i mean yeah i mean i'd say more than your sort of household hardware i'd say it's more like industrial like a moose a moose cock dude they got moose up in canada right do moose have big dick i imagine a bull moose i mean it's about

six feet tall at the shoulder. Gets up to about, I'd say with the antlers, 10 feet. How many points on that trophy? Well, I think you're not getting anything. You're not dipping anything under 12 points. Wow. I don't think so. I don't imagine.

Gorilla. You'd think a gorilla got a big dick. Gorillas got itty bitty dicks. You know what? Here's what I... Yeah, you know what? Wait. Sorry, sorry.

But by the way, those antlers, I think, you know, that means big hog and deer world. Yeah. But hold that thought, dudes. Okay, so then I drop trowel, you know, and he sees my little dink. And he's like looking at it, and I'm like, we got these in California too, dude. We got small dongs in California. Oh, wow. So he thought you'd have a big longboard.

Yeah. And then. Yeah. I mean, it was just more like a novelty to him, it seemed like, because he was just kind of staring at it and he couldn't stop staring. Yeah. He couldn't imagine. And he's like, he's like, he's like, is your dong gay?

And I'm like. Do you think you had the flu or something? Do you think you had some sort of sickness going on? I think he's like, are you on Adderall right now? I'm like, no, this is Al Natural. Right. And he's like... And I'm like, yeah, this is what we got in California.

And he was very accepting. He's like, that's legit. That's legit. And then we packed a fat dap after that and hit some Copenhagen chaw. Nice, dude. I threw up, but I wanted to try it. You were pushing it. I wanted to try it.

He's Canadian, so I wanted to try it. I remember when I poked in that Uber with you on the way back from Miami. Oh, dude. Yeah. We got off the exit, and I was like, I'm not feeling good. Two seconds later, I poke all over this dude's Uber. Yeah. Then I left my cell phone in the car.

That was just an all-time bad Uber ride. My favorite part was that you were bokeing, and towards the end, you finally roll down the window, and you were like, but you just, you already threw up everything. Right. And at the end, you're just like, The guy's just like sitting there just. Yeah.

Anyway, so what were you saying about gorilla dogs gorilla silverback gorillas have really small penises relative to their size one of the biggest disproportionate penis to body sizes i think in the mammal kingdom or animal kingdom for that matter when you when you hear something like that it's inspiring yeah it's badass it's nice to hear yeah you think the silverbacks worried about it nope. He's got other stuff on his mind. He needs to keep their, I don't know, clan, whatever you call it, like a guerrilla group together. Yeah. Yeah, what is a guerrilla group called? I'll look it up.

A squad. A squad. Yeah. What? He's just beating his chest. For sure. And, dude, they freaking drill themselves out in the open. They're super free yeah do they go to zoos and they stand in front of the window and just drill

they got no shame i mean that's honestly something that troop it'd be a troop oh yeah do you know what a uh a group of frogs is called? A pad? An army. No way. Really? You know what a group of crows is called? Murder.

Yep. That's my favorite one. Is that why seals are called frogs? Bro, that's why... Dude, we were talking about this yesterday playing con. Yeah, we were talking about why they go by frogmen. Yeah, why are they frogmen? I don't know.

Maybe army. Yeah, yeah. Army man man i love frogman dude i've been watching i've been crushing navy seal movies non-stop have you watched act of valor it's production value is pretty bad but it's a dank movie yeah yeah do you watch uh um clint eastwood's movie where he had like the I believe they were soldiers and they like saved someone on a train they stopped the terrorist attack

oh yeah 1517 to Paris or whatever yeah great story but you got the real people to act in it oh whoa

that's pretty gnarly yeah I thought it was gonna be the one is there a Clint Eastwood movie where he goes to Granada and fights I don't know Granada maybe it's I don't know.

Granada? Maybe it's not Clint Eastwood. But it takes place in that small conflict, like the Battle of Granada. It was like a two-day conflict or something like that. Oh, nice. I think it was Clint Eastwood. That's got to be so crazy when a battle lasts such a short period of time. So crazy.

Like when Teddy Rose went down to Cuba. Spanish-American War? Yeah. Yeah. And they just put the beat down on him in like an hour. It was gnarly, dude. And Teddy got to flex and flaunt on top of a hill. Yep. Yep.

Sam Juan Hill, dude. I was talking about this a little bit on the History is Dank pod, dude. Your podcast? Wrapping my dome. Out now on all the places where you get podcasts. Oh, yes. Legends. What up, dude?

Except for SoundCloud. Dude, it's fire. I listened to it first. I mean, I've crushed all the episodes where you get podcasts. Oh, yes. Legends, what up, dude? Dude. Except for SoundCloud. Dude, it's fire. I listened to the first, I mean, I've crushed all the episodes so far. Legend, dude. Dude. My dog.

Freaking basketball pirates. Dude, yeah. I'm just, you know, I'm just taking stuff I'm interested in, and dude, Aaron's freaking clutch, dude, on the sticks.

Are you kidding me, dude? Dropping knowledge left and right, dude. Aaron, what up? What up? You're making history palatable for the younger generation. That's what I'm saying, dude.

Like, it's kind of interesting. I want to do some even more pop culture stuff. Like, there's probably some bros out there who don't even know about Act of Valor. You know, like, 18, 19-year-old kids who have never even seen, maybe they haven't even seen Gladiator for some weird reason. Yeah. You know, like, that's an old movie now. That movie's over 20 years old.

Yeah. It's crazy. Yeah. Yeah. It's so good. It still holds up. It still feels like it was made today. So good.

Yeah, one of the best movies ever. Yeah. What was a Ridley Scott, Aaron, what Ridley Scott movie did you talk about that was terrible, though, that was the yin and the yang to Gladiator? Kingdom of Heaven? I love Kingdom of Heaven, though. Oh, shit. The Counselor?

No. Prometheus? Prometheus is pretty bad, dude. Legend? No, it was more recent. All right. Fuck. He has that kind of reputation.

That's why he's not regarded as one of the top, because he has so many flops. Is that true? Yeah, he's got a lot of flops, but he's got some of the best. He did Black Hawk Down, right? Yeah. Love Black Hawk Down. Irene is a go. Exodus, Gods and Kings.

Yeah, exactly. Exodus, Gods and Kings. I can't believe he made that piece of shit. That was one of the worst movies I ever seen. I saw the movie in theaters. I could not tell you one scene from it. We were also talking about the horrible movie, the horrible rendition of... Wait, is that the Moses story?

Moses. Joel Edgerton plays the king. The pharaoh. The pharaoh. Yeah. Unbelievable. Unbelievable, dude. And I love Joel Edgerton.

He's a smart, amazing dude. Yeah, he writes and directs. The Gift is Killer. He wrote The King. It's got great dialogue. You can tell he read a lot of books on that. Yeah. In that language.

Yeah. Dude, remember when we saw it too oh bro you're a clown you're just a stupid clown oh oh oh it was so dumb you're a stupid clown fuck you and dude they made it not it was scarier when you were like is this like a demon just from earth like honestly i know, like, all made up and whatever, but, like, the fact that it came from space and, like, crash landed there really took a lot of the fear away from me as a viewer. I totally forgot that.

It's from space? It's from space. There's a planet where there's a bunch of fucking clowns? Yeah. What a bullshit planet, dude. It needs to be, like, a demon from hell. Yeah. full planet dude it needs to be demonic like a demon from hell yeah and like they with horror movies they should i mean i'm not an expert but i feel like they should just leave most of it to the imagination correct yeah like like like when i saw the conjuring it was super

scary up until you saw what the like goat like the demon girl looked like. Yeah. And she looked so ridiculous. She was just crouching on top of the dresser, and I'm like, that's it, dude? Yeah. It's kind of embarrassing. Yeah.

You feel bad for the people in the movie. You feel bad for the bad guy. You're like, you're kind of a loser. Yeah. That's why Spielberg, when he made Jaws, the shark looked like shit. So he's like, you know what? I'm just not going to show the shark much yeah but and maybe he also understood it would help the storytelling but it just makes it so much more powerful when you just catch a glimpse of it yeah

because your imagination is always gonna be better than what they can totally create for it that's a paranormal activity was so huge yeah because you're like what is this thing dude and it's just like people getting fucked with or the blair Project. What's your favorite alien from a movie? Like who do you think nailed what an alien looks like? I think Independence Day did a good job. Yeah, Independence Day crushed it. Predator's pretty sick. I mean, Predator's good.

Yeah. You're very, can you do the self-destruct? Yeah, dude. Oh, dang it, dude. How does he do that? He's like, tick, tick, tick, tick. And then it laughs. You know what, dude? You're dude you're second guessing yourself because you're under the gun you just got to go with your instincts i forgot the noise of it it's like yeah predator is a good alien and then the alien

from alien is very good alien's great arri is great. Arrival's a little bit... I don't know. I need more of a body. Yeah. I think they got too smart with the science where they're like, it wouldn't necessarily be humanoid looking. Like, we only do that because that's what our brains like to see. Right.

I rewatched E.T. I mean, I was talking about this last night. Like, they do a good job with E.T., but it's like a kid's movie. It's a fucking scary little alien, dude. I had nightmares, horrible nightmares of E.T. He'd come out of the pillow and he'd steal my mom and bring her into the pillow. Dude, his long fingers. Dude, I just rewatched it.

So much of it is just like silent of like Elliot interacting with E.T. with like putting out Reese's and stuff. And like, it just moves all scary. Yeah, dude. When I was a kid, I could never finish it. It freaked me out too much. He's got a creepy voice. Yeah.

E.T. You know what's a good one mars attacks great aliens yeah oh do you know it's a good movie starship troopers great movie great movie that movie ages with you like as you get smarter you're like, this is like a satire on fascism. But when you're a kid, you're like, boobs. Yeah. Totally. You don't get it. Poor boobs. Great.

Yeah. And the football scenes are sick in that fucking movie. Everyone can do flips and they wear cool helmets. Yeah. So sick. Michael Ironside is like the badass police guy. As the badass sergeant guy, rather. Yeah.

The fake hand. Yeah. He's amazing, dude. That was my introduction to Bcey's kid too i thought he was so cool jake bucey i thought dude when i was a kid you know i thought was the coolest guy steven baldwin from biodome i was like that guy's cool really yeah dude i was like he's so cool like there's there's like a cabo haircut dude and his long shorts dude he's so ridiculous yeah who do i think was the coolest uh honestly like van wilder which he's holds up it's kind of cool but he is in college for seven years it's kind of lame

yeah once you get out of that age range i was obsessed with how dude i thought like ethan hawk was really cool yeah gattaca dude yeah gattaca and like in a great expectations i thought i thought guys who had kind of long hair were really cool I always thought Brad Pitt was cool and I always thought

even as a kid I was like Brad Pitt's a hot dude I was like that guy like young Lucas Haas that was hot oh yeah dude he's the whole package

Brad yeah 100% he's the best looking guy of all time yeah there was someone else who I was going to put

in that category who also had long hair because I think and they're from the same time period but I can't There was someone else who I was going to put in that category who also had long hair because I think, and they're from the same time period but I can't recall the other movie, but I thought Brad Pitt

in the 90s and like, Legends of the Fall. Legends of the Fall. I think it's like the best looking anyone's ever been on camera. Oh dude,

yeah, his hair is on a horse. But then there's another dude that I'm forgetting. And he has long hair? Pierce Brosnan? It might be Brendan Fraser in George of the Jungle.

Oh yeah. He's good looking. But it's not who it is dude i didn't dream about him the other night really it was it was so weird it was like i saw him when he was like kind of chubby which he i think he is still yeah and he's like i wish i remember the dream but it was just he was just kind of like so yeah i'm getting back into movies or something. That's all I got. You were great, man. Speaking of dreams, I had a dream with Chris D'Elia in it. Oh, you did? Yeah.

It was crazy. We were in a car, and he was screaming at me. Oh, really? He's like, you didn't defend me. I was like, I don't know what happened. Yeah. Yeah. And then he took off his shirt, and he had little scars all over his back from where it looked like

he was whipping himself. Wow. And I was like, you didn't tell me about that. You've been whipping yourself. And he wouldn't answer. I was like, you've been whipping yourself.

And he wouldn't say anything. Wow. Damn. What is that? Self-flagellation? Self-flagellation, yeah. Father Junipero Serra did that. The guy who founded

all the missions. They're tearing him down, dude. Self-flagellist. Are they really? They're tearing down Father J. Serra, yeah. Because those missions are oppressive. They would use slave labor. Slave labor, yeah. So flogeless. Are they really? They're tearing down Father J. Sarah, yeah. Because those missions are oppressive. They would use slave labor.

Slave labor, yeah. But my dad is a founder of a high school that has J. Sarah, that's called J. Sarah. Yeah. So I kept telling him, when I was with my dad in Montana, I was like, are you going to change the name? And he just was like, I don't know. I was like, you're going to change the name. You better.

I think your dad's just like, what the fuck are you talking about? Yeah. It's crazy. No, he was, you could tell he was feeling it. He got a little nervous. Oh, really? Oh, yeah, yeah, of course. Yeah.

That was actually something. What should we do with all the statues that we take down? Melt them down. Make some dank iron and remold dank statues of dank people. It's not like, you know, it's not like we're erasing history. It's just we're not honoring people that did deplorable stuff and deplorable things.

You know, that's a very simple thing. Well, I think it's a good opportunity to throw up a Paul statue. Of course. Oh, that's a great call, dude. And even though he's not from the South, you know, if these J. Sarah statues go down. Dude, that's what I told my dad.

I told my dad, I was like, we could rename the high school Paul Walker High School. Dude, that'd be sick. Great call. Yeah. Yes. That's epic. That's a great call. Dude. I told my dad, I was like, we could rename the high school Paul Walker High School. Dude, that'd be sick. Great call. Yeah. Yes. That's epic.

That's a great call. Dude, that school would do so well. It would be amazing, dude. Part of tuition could go to dank foundations that Paul would be into, like the ocean, dude. Yeah. Freaking sick, dude. Doing open air lessons, surf class for PE. I'd be fired up to go to school.

Dude, I was thinking, because you look at dude I was thinking because you look at a statue and you know when you look at a statue it is inspiring especially when you go to like the Lincoln Memorial you're like nice yeah but you know I think with with the way humans are evolving I think probably the best

move is to like have like a stand with like an epic movie that gives good historical context on like the dank stuff people did for america you know i'm talking like patriot yeah independence day yep um other movies back to the future back to the future armageddon times when things that inspire people to be like yes i'm gonna be selfless and fight for something bigger than myself. It's a great call. That's dope.

It's a great call. Dudes, also baseball is coming back. 60-game season. But the thing about baseball is it's really struggling to maintain an audience. Do you guys like baseball? I like playing baseball. I like the thought of going to a baseball game. It's fun.

I can't honestly say I've ever watched a full baseball game on TV. I used to all the time and I haven't done it in ages. I'll only watch playoff baseball. I will follow playoff baseball. I'll be pretty excited. But the Dodgers have been good. So maybe that's really the reason why.

Yeah. And then when I was excited about it again, it's when the Angels were good in the early 2000s. And, you know, David Freese, the Cardinals team, was a freaking baller. I remember JT calling me, like racing over to my house, being like, dude, what's going on with Freese? And I'm like, I've never watched baseball other than that, but we were all into it.

That was a good series. It was great, dude. So I love playoff baseball, but. When the Cubbies won, too, that was great. That was sick. There's so much history to that, but we were all into it. That was a good series. It was great, dude. I love playoff baseball, but... When the Cubbies won too, that was great. That was sick. There's so much history to it, but... Was it great? The Cubs winning? Sorry, I was about to actually... I was going to take a dig at you, Aaron.

I was going to say, it's not so good when the Cardinals win. Dude, you know what would be great? If baseball... With that blowhard La Russa. He's out. Don't worry about him. He's in the Diamondbacks now. They should just make In-N-Out burgers for baseball food. Is there out. Don't worry about him. He's in the Diamondbacks now. They should just make In-N-Out burgers for baseball food

instead of dogs. Is this Diamondbacks GM? Manager now? GM. GM. Oh, okay. Yeah. That makes more sense.

I remember I was in, because I went to college at Santa Clara, and the Giants won twice while I was there. Yeah. So those celebrations were pretty sick.

That's awesome. Couches on fire. Yeah, you've got to set a couch on fire. Yeah. On've got to set a couch on fire. Yeah. On our main street. If I was going to say baseball, I think the way I would do it

is I think Jeremy London or Jason London was the lead in Dazed and Confused and he was like, oh, the reason that movie wasn't popular is because people

couldn't bring their bongs into the movie. Baseball is a great sport to be stoned when you're watching because it's slow. You know? They should let people

smoke pot at the stadiums yeah let them bring their bongs yeah just let people bring their bongs in the stadium and then i think it would actually really gel nicely with the stoner crowd yeah yeah and it would kind of make it a really fun event if it kind of had more of a granola grateful dead vibe to it when you're there yeah do you have like hot dogs and all that food and then you could just sit back and melt in your chair and just like... It'd be a great call. Yeah. Do a seventh inning pack

instead of a seventh inning stretch. Yeah. Pack the bowl. Fresh bowl, yeah. Yes. And then... Now when the closer comes out, that's when you hit a dab.

Yeah, yeah. You go dab, you're going to be done, dude. And then... Game over. Freaking so legit. Maybe you just sit, you know, and then for the patrons

that don't want to blaze, maybe if you're blazing, since smoke's going to rise, maybe you've got to sit in like the upper loge section or something like that. Definitely got to have sections for it. Yeah. Dude, my dog, my lord, Joe, one time when we went to a Dodger game, we had a bunch of vape pens.

We were like, hey, Joe, don't hit it when we're sitting here. You're going to get in trouble. And, you know, there's always like the guy in the group who's like, you guys are all being soft. I'm going to do it. So then he double rips two pens. Security grabs him within three seconds yeah they let him come back with no pens but that's hilarious dude they should do like you could do like a wave but it's with like

taking a bong hit you know so it's like yeah it's like people start at the end and then they go down you know and it's a wave like that yeah go down into the bong great call and then you hit and then wave back to so the person at the end is gonna have a huge hit does that make sense though that totally makes sense i'm visualizing it right now that'd be so sick put a freaking just fat lava lamp next to the big screen you know yeah instead of strikeouts you just every time a pitcher gets a strikeout instead ofs, you just put a lava lamp up on the back fence, dude. It'd be sick to look at. Maybe a fish tank, I don't know.

Yeah. Dude, I was thinking, because I think with baseball, if you're not really into the sport, it can be kind of monotonous. It kind of just drags on and not a lot of action. But going back to Gladiator, my favorite part, one of them was when the Lions got pulled out of the ground in the Coliseum. Yeah, that was sick. If they had some moments like that where they just pulled lions out, on a leash, of course,

but just to give the players a little jolt. Let some animals loose on the field. Yeah. That's really compelling. Maybe some tigers. You never know when it's coming. It's just like the astroturf will just split wide open and a lion will come out. I think hard, fast, general rule, like pyrotechnics and big cats

are going to boost the wow factor across any industry. I mean, if you're at the dentist getting a cavity filled and there's a big cat in the room and maybe they light an M80, it's going to be an experience to remember. Yeah, absolutely.

Sounds terrifying. Yeah, it's going to be terrifying, but guess what? It's like that scene in Boogie Nights. It's going to take your mind off the drill maybe. Dude, totally. Whoever that is. Sounds terrifying. Yeah, it's going to be terrifying, but guess what? It's like that scene in Boogie Nights. It's going to take your mind off the drill, maybe. Dude, totally. Totally. Might work.

Siegfried, who was it who got, Roy. Roy got blitzed by one of the tigers. But he says that the tiger was actually saving him. Yeah. He said that he had some illnesses and that the tiger could sense it, so the tiger attacked him so that he would go get help for the illnesses. He just died recently yeah from covid poor guy really yeah fuck i mean he was all dinged up he had a lot of

underlying conditions one one of the main underlying conditions is being attacked by a tiger yeah yeah yeah it's a vulnerable population yeah yeah i always i mean i've talked about it so many times on here but i have a friend who was attacked by bears twice. She survived both times. They don't tell you when you play dead that the bear still plays with you. It, like, knocks you around and then it lets you go, but that's after it hits you with its,

like, you know, 60,000 pound slaps. But are you supposed to play dead? Yeah. So you just get a little bit roughed around? You just get fucked up by a bear, but you don't die. But I always wonder, I'm like, is she the luckiest person I know or the most unlucky person I know? I've talked about it on here before. I just can never make heads or tails of it.

I would say unlucky. Yeah. Because not many people are attacked by bears. Yeah. Yeah, you got to look at someone who's lived a similar lifestyle to her. Get a group of people who are like, she's probably into hiking or whatever. How many people go hiking at the same rate that she does in those same areas? How many times have they been attacked by bears?

Compared to her. And then you know. So would you say Roy was lucky to only be attacked by tigers once? Yeah. I guess the only other person in that focus group would be Siegfried. Erwin. Get Erwin in there dude Dean Schneider I don't think he has tigers though does he have tigers

I don't think so he's got lions hyenas he's got many a lion so he owns these animals I thought he's just like cruising out to Africa playing with them in the nature I don't know if he owns them yeah I think he's like very specific about it he's like kind of like they live there but maybe he brought them in the nature. I don't know if he owns them. Yeah, I think he's very specific about it. He's kind of like, they live there. But maybe he brought them in.

Have you seen his last video? I don't know. Where he's playing house music and all the lions are listening? No, dude, I got to check that out. Yeah, they're all just sitting there just bopping their domes. That's freaking sick. House music's tight, dude. Just probably waiting for that beat to drop, getting horny for it, dude.

Yeah. Whole pride. I could have quizzed you guys again. What's a group of lions called? A pride. Yeah. Burnt that one. Dude, lions. If I could hug a lion, I think that's it. It'd be pretty special. It would be tight.

Yeah, I'm smiling already. Remember that one of those guys? Yeah. What was that documentary with the dude that hugged bears and then he ended up getting killed by them? Remember that guy? Oh, Grizzly Man? Yeah, Grizzly Man. Yeah.

He's funny. When he gets petty with the animals, like a little fox steals his hat. He's like, you motherfucker! Crag, you bitch! Yeah. He's like talking shit to it. You know what actually got him killed is he had gone up there like six years in a row to play with the bears. And they really did, I think, have rapport.

Even though, you know, he's no expert. So he was doing all this just off like trial and error but then he brought a woman up with him and i think she was on her oh the bear since the cycle yeah and that's legit got them both shredded oh they both got killed oh they both got killed and there's video of it but verner harzog didn't put it in the doc because he said it was too brutal but he he describes it he's like i would have shown the footage but it is too gruesome and painful to reproduce but I've watched it several

times. It is insane to think about. He was just watching that go down. Yeah. The guy shot it himself. Yeah, it's all salvaged footage. No, he wasn't there watching. He took the tripod like, oh fuck man. Oh no man. Okay, that's good. No, he wasn't there watching. Turned his good the tripod like, oh, fuck, man.

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That was sick. Thank you. I'm like, Dropbox, that's big. Sales are shooting through the roof after that dude Through the roof Speaking of Corona We wrote some poems about Corona Oh yeah

I wrote a new poem I knew you would you're a beast bro You're a legend dude Do you want to read it for us Chad? Sure I can We're also filled up with emotion about Coronas that we decided to You're a legend, dude. Do you want to read it first, Chad? Sure, I can. We're also filled up with emotion about Korones that we decided to get our feelings out onto the page and write some prose.

Yeah, it was really healthy. I had a really healthy morning, and I'm fired up. So here we go. I haven't named it yet. This is Untitled. My neck, my back, cover my face with a mask. Corona, you came in hot and hogged the D floor. We all bailed and thought you'd be done for.

But you're still raging and thought we'd miss you. So you crashed the party again and you're still a major issue. No one invited you, dude, so bail. The nationwide resolve is starting to look frail. I'm sick of your games almost as much as this renom from high school james you're invisible so we can't suplex your ass your party etiquette is quite frankly very crass so fuck off dude you suck don't you dare get randy and try to show us your junk. For some reason, you've even divided the niche. The whole squad is beefing because you decided to forego waiting for an invitation.

But you'll be boked, that's for sure. Thank God we got nerds working on the cure. Nice, dude. That was beautiful, dude. Thanks. Way to show respect to science at the end there. That's killer. Yeah, thanks, man.

That was clutch. And I don't mean nerds in a derogatory sense. I love scientists. They're smart. I love nerds. Yeah. Yeah. Chicks, dude.

A lot of chicks say they love nerds, dude. My Jeff doesn't like when I say chicks, so sorry. I'm having a glass of wine. Maybe I let that slip, dude. But, you know, it's just my truth, I guess. You're working on yourself, and that's what counts. Thanks, dude. Chelsea Pratt had a great joke where she's like, do you like nerds or do you just like

cute guys in glasses? Yeah. She's like, I'd love to see one of those girls just get fucked by an engineer with cystic acne. That's amazing. It's like, everyone's a nerd. Like, due to like, our jacked up, like JT's like a nerd about kettlebells, you know

what I mean? I love that. CrossFit docs. You just know all the facts. I guess you're a nerd. The word totally lost its meaning. I remember Tom Sharpling was calling out, Chris Hardwick, the nerdist? The guy does push-ups.

Wears $500 shoes. I remember I saw Chris Hardwick at the Meltdown. This is when nerdists were really just starting to explode, and then he was like, his joke was about having a threesome and having to take a shit. Oh, really? Yeah, and I was like, yeah, dude, you're a huge nerd.

Yeah, I've never had a threesome. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. It's like, what are you even talking about? Looking at you, I would imagine you've had a few threesomes. Oh, really? Oh, thank you, dude. Yeah, or turned down at least a couple dozen. Yeah, you could have been like, I'm sorry, dude. Because you didn't want to hurt one of the girl's feelings or something like that.

I appreciate that, dudes. But I don't know if I give off that vibe to the ladies. I think I'm more kind of like a Simba to them instead of a Mufasa. Interesting. We're getting into some like Jungian psychology here. I dig it. Yeah. I think I'm more of like, they're like, I don't know.

They want to nurture your king. Right. Right. Yeah. I'm not the kind of guy that's going to come in and be like, you know, this is how it's going down. I'm kind of like, so what's up? Like, what are we going to, oh, we're going to, like, you know, get intimate? Let's chill.

For sure. I bailed on a threesome one time. Oh, you did? Yeah. Well, what happened? This girl, like, called me and another girl into the room, and she's like, you guys start making out. She's a pretty powerful personality.

Then we started doing it, and she just kept directing us around, and then we were on the bed, and then someone else walked in and was like, what the hell is going on in here? And I skedaddled. Dude. I was feeling like I was overwhelmed. I've been kind of scared I've always feared having threesome I don't think I have the boner yeah I

couldn't get hard yeah the boner or just like I don't know dude I'm just being like like yeah like just two people you know it's just like it's so like i i just don't think i'm that guy three's good i mean that's what i'm getting i'm such an intimacy junkie like i like feeling like i love the person i sleep with even if i don't just because it turns me on more which is you know probably unhealthy yeah but i don't know how you do that with two people yeah like how do you how do you feel in love with two people at the same time when you're boning yeah you know what i mean yeah you got to use your mouth and dong yeah yeah what do you mean what no i'm serious what do you mean oh i meant like oh i guess i was just getting

oh you mean like is that what you mean that's how you express your your love oh yeah i was just going straight up physical. I thought you meant you have to talk with your penis and your mouth so you can dirty talk. That's not possible. Strider, if you had threesome, I could see you, just because you're such a beast, I could see you just like, someone's on top riding you, and then another person's on your face. That's exactly. And you're just kind of spread eagle on the bed.

Yeah. That's exactly how I'm working. There's work in stride. Yeah. Yeah. Thank you're just kind of spread eagle on the bed. Yeah. That's exactly how I work in stride. Yeah. Yeah. Thank you. Yeah, dude. That's what I think.

I mean, I've never had one, but that's exactly how I would imagine it. I haven't had one. I mean, I don't, you know, letting one person down at a time is enough for me. I don't need to, you know, double dose and do it. Yeah, get out of here. Don't talk about yourself. I've seen you like make out on the Tijuana dance floor. I've seen you bring the A game. I need this. I've seen you make out. I like that. I've seen you make out on the Tijuana dance floor. I've seen you bring the A game.

I need this. I've seen you make out with someone's neck. That was my move, dude, in college. That was my move. Dude, I saw you fix drywall, and that's why I knew you. What? Yeah. I saw you fix drywall, and I was like, this dude knows holes.

I'm going to have to do it again, dude. My GF and I found a new apartment, dude. Yeah, yeah. So you settled on one? Yep, we settled. It's in Los Feliz, which is pretty cool, which I don't know if it's Los Feliz or Los Feliz. I've heard both.

I heard Ignacio's moving to that same building. You're inviting him over for dinner, dude. Come on over. Dude, we only share one wall. Hopefully it's not with a psychopath this time. So we're stoked. The building's older, but the model itself is all renewed, which is nice. So that's why we've got to wait a little bit to move in.

Is the credenza going to make the move? Bro, this is big. The credenza is not going to make the move. What? Dude, you've got to give the credenza to one of the stokers. Oh, yeah. Or one of the dankers is that what you call i want to i want to gift it but we're going to need some dough for the move and we're going

to need the dough i'm going to need to sell it on craigslist because we're going to be getting another credenza but it's just with the floor coloration in the new place yeah the wood doesn't match right it's not the right well maybe sell it to a stoker i just think it should stay in the family yeah i would love i would love that and the guy that I got it from, this dude named Mike, very chill dude. He was crushing the log and he did his IPA when we bought it. He designed sets. And he's like, yeah, dude, this thing's sick. It's sturdy.

He helped me load it. It's very heavy to move. Good solid wood. Dude, nice marble slab on top. So it was nice that he helped. And so I would like it to go to someone chill. In fact, I won't sell it to someone who's unchill totally that's good be ethical about it i'd have to i'd have to give them an unchill tax maybe that would make yeah you don't want the credenza to live in a sad house exactly it's got to have good energy it's got to make someone spark you know

how much time before you can determine whether someone's chill or unchill good question you know what to be honest i mean i don't want to say you know first impressions do last i want to say you can determine whether someone's chill or unchill? Good question. You know what? To be honest, I don't want to say first impressions do last. I want to say I can get a guy's energy pretty quick. Pretty spot on. I would say seldom is the occasion

when I'm wrong about someone's chillness. I'll hang out with them, I would say 20 minutes. A night of hanging out, I'll hang out with them, I would say, you know, 20 minutes, a night of hanging out, I can get a good assessment of a dude. But sometimes I've been wrong. Do you have a poem?

Yeah, yeah. Oh, hell yeah. Here we go. Rip that shit. All right, dude, this is inspired by T.S. Eliot's The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock.

Oh, yeah, sure, dude. In a moment, there is time. Dude, exactly right, dude. And do I dare to peach? So what this lacks in originality, I hope makes up for in homage. And so here we go. This is called Posting Up Inside.

Let us distance you and I as this disease spread across the sky, posting up in our respective abodes, unable to access once heavily trotted roads. Drilling oneself with endless thirst, down in the depths of unchillness. On the internet, the schmoles come and go, posting of wearing no mask, bro.

In a fog of jerry, my downstairs neighbors smoke, a catalyst within me awoke. Spring turning to summer, I listened as the seasons spoke. Negativity from my dome, I must boke. Spring turning to summer, I listened as the seasons spoke. Negativity from my dome, I must boke. On the internet, the schmoles come and go, posting of wearing no masks, bro. And indeed, there is chillness to be found, legitness all around, dankness abound. In my GF's eyes, above Verdansk in the skies, time to lift and get jacked thighs. On the internet, the schmoles come and go, posting of wearing no masks, bro. The soul's only console is the console. Gaming with my bros. Living with my dank GF. Perhaps this is a great reset. On the internet, the schmoles come

and go, posting of wearing no masks, bro. Much is lost, this is is true one can't help but feel blue yeah yet there will be a time to occlude my bro my dog my fucking dude off-roading bonfiring the late night jacuzzi sessions we've been desiring let hope itself be inspiring yes it's true much is lost in the feeling of blue when it is done perhaps there is a better me and a better you oh beautiful man good stuff dude thank you my dogs mine's not nearly as good but it treads on some of the same kind of um themes love that structurally i borrowed so it it you know it was a little bit of a crutch. It felt unique. What was the inspiration? Just, dude, honestly, like, it's kind of nice that when JT sent the email late of like,

oh, write a poem about this. I had a night. Usually I've been pretty stoked during the quarantine and fine. But lately I've been like, fuck, dude. Am I going to have to go get like another bullshit job or something for this? So I was feeling like pretty unchill. And then, so it was nice. It was healthy to write this poem.

And then I just looked up, like I Googled and I was like, all right, well, what are, like, oh, into that, like whatever, like some transcendentalist stuff or like romantic stuff, like just poem poets, like Whitman or whatever. And I was like, oh, this is one of my go-to poems that I like to reference. Yeah. And so I read that. That's Advent of Modernism, right? The Transcendentalists.

Is that what T.S. Eliot is? Isn't he a Modernist? No, he's not a Transcendentalist. Yeah, he's probably just a Modernist. I don't know if he... No, he's not a Transcendentalist. No. But those guys fire me up.

Yeah, for sure. Remoticists fire me up. Thoreau, Emerson. Yep. Yeah. Bees. Frickin' Beats. Yates. Nice to be part of of a club i wonder what they'll call our club stokes the stoke stoke philosophy yeah stokists stokists stokists the stokratics gotta touch it is touching that yeah that'd be so dang dude we should put out

more poetry dude yeah dude i'm down going to cabins and just freaking writing poetry yeah i've been after we talked to this guy i was on viral yesterday great guy yeah and he's talking about like getting bored like it's important to get bored for your dome i was like oh i've got i was like i need to get bored more so i'm like really inspired to go get bored you know that's awesome yeah i'm just fired up to get freaking fucking bored. He was cool, dude. He was a cool dude. Yeah, dude. He's awesome. Yeah, you got to be bored.

Dude, it's tough. I was lonely, too. Yesterday, I'm finally... This is the first time in the quarantine I've been living by myself. Oh, yeah. Yeah. It's hard, dude. It's very hard.

I was judging people who were feeling lonely by themselves. I hadn't endured it myself. Yeah. And it's difficult. You just sit there and you're like what do i do i mean i just i just work out a lot i've been working out like three times a day yeah literally out of boredom just like just to do something yeah well dude i yeah it's especially when the key team first started i would go to bed and i would just because you you don't see anyone

so i'd go to bed i'd'd be like, what's going on? Yeah. You know what I mean? Because you kind of like, you question your sanity a little bit because you're like, you haven't talked to anyone to like reassure you that you're like,

everything's normal. So you just get in bed and you're like, this is weird. Or to reassure you that you exist or that today even happened. Right. Yeah.

When there's no signpost that today even happened. Yeah. You're just like, what am I even doing? Yeah. Dude, that's exactly it. Or tomorrow. It's like, doing yeah dude that's exactly it or tomorrow it's like well tomorrow's just gonna be it's like this little like endless fog dude yeah my memory's gotten worse i can't remember yesterday as well as

i used to because there's not enough differentiation right yeah yeah i couldn't even remember what i ate for breakfast yesterday i don't my memory is normally locked yeah yeah you have an elephant memory yeah you remember stuff better than I remember, dude. About myself. But sometimes I choose to forget. Right. Yeah, I don't remember anything. Well, yeah, eternal sunshine of the spotless mind, dude.

It's better not to remember. True. I ruminate on the awful things I've done as a youngster, and they eat me up. Not so much that I would ever change but it bothers me yeah i i'll see friends from high school and they're like dude you remember this one time i'm like i literally don't remember any of the stories you just that's awesome because you get to hear them for the first time you're like dude i did that awesome dude this is sick dude yeah dude

maybe you've had a million threesomes. You just don't remember, dude. Dude, probably. That's about the coolest thing I've ever heard. Oh, I had a threesome. I just didn't remember. You're a pretty cool guy. Oh, yeah, dude.

You've lived a hell of a life. All right, my poem, it's similar to both y'alls. Similar themes. I mean, we're living the same. Good save, dude. Good save. similar themes i mean we're living the same good save dude good save i've got plexiglass for the studio so we could block ourselves from um droplets yeah we are very rona safe right now i don't know how effective it's gonna be but i just i just dinged it a little bit we should

take a photo at some point well the droplets are just in ink yeah we're like a casino all right i'll fix this after my pump oh i, I got it. Nice. Fuck yeah. I'm not anti-anybody, but wear your mask or I'll get haughty. Days slipping away with casual cruelty. Make up for it with Call of Duty. Also, at least I got time to hang with my family. My brother recommended watching the movie Amelie. It's about a girl who tries to change people's lives for the better.

I'd love to be with someone like that, but I'd have to vet her. Because before you meet the squad, we need to test positive for the antibodies. Oh, yeah. Fuck, yeah. yeah fuck yeah thank you thank you beautiful beautiful dude beautiful yes we touched upon a lot of the same themes beautiful themes we also we read the oral history of Mad Max yeah dude fire movie that was awesome yeah it was inspiring yeah dude yes it really was because to summarize it quickly the movie was a really

hard production they had to change locations the actors were had to be in terrible conditions weather wise time wise and

they just didn't know where the story was going because it wasn't really explained to them well and so the whole thing was kind of a miserable experience but through it all

George Miller the director stayed true to himself and knew he had a vision for how it turned out yeah yeah dude i uh it's funny when i was younger and actors would talk about how hard the job was like it's so hard you know and i'd be like shut up dude right you know like you're in acting but then after after like doing you know small stuff you realize how it's it's it can be tortured just sort of waiting there especially in the conditions they were in like namibia is that you say yeah namibia yeah because it was winter so they're all like freezing and got you know apothermia is like

they really uh they really gave it their all and it's it's awesome and then so the the the big detail too was that the the guy who was trying to be the head producer at the place that was making the movie was like trying to be you know a penny pincher and show everybody that he could be frugal yeah and he was going to shut down the movie without shooting the home base scenes that start the movie and end it i was like that's insane yeah it wouldn't have worked without that yeah you gotta have that how many movies could have been mad max fury road and got their legs cut out from under them because someone didn't see what they saw yeah yeah making a financial decision or like he like the studio was obsessed with it being under 100 minutes yeah yeah it's like i don't know if that's good or bad

but yeah dude i think it's like how much trust goes into making that some of the actors are like we kind of didn't know what was going on. I like that he brought the lady in who wrote vagina monologues to help the characters. That was pretty awesome, dude. My GF's done many productions of vagina monologues. You came to one and saw it? Yeah, she did a great British accent.

I don't know if she put one on recently, enough for you to see, Chad, but she'll probably do it again at some point with her friends. Very powerful. Yeah, very, very powerful. So that was frigging awesome. And then just so many people, there's so many moving parts, but the had vision george miller had vision beast

everyone trusting that yeah dude yeah and it's um i mean it's sort of a tale of a guy making the movie he wanted to make you know and you hear about that and then it really takes balls to do that and also to not question yourself like even if even if you're like, you know, if you get, like, feedback from, like, producers or something and they give you notes, to not let that enter your dome. Yeah. And sort of distort your vision. It takes a steel noggin and steel cojones. It does. It does.

You got to be careful. Powerful combo. Who is it that's,'s like the audience together is right but individually always wrong billy wilder yeah yeah it's a lot and especially when you get i mean producers like yeah they are they work in a creative industry but it's like they're not the artists making the stuff right yeah you had that good quote in there where he's like a director thinks about the movie 24 hours a day for months the producer thinks about it 10 minutes a day on like 10 minutes on a wednesday yeah although you know like our boy b fooler yeah he's committed to it he's a legend

yeah greatest ever and you know that the producer there's art artistry and of like putting the right people together or like seeing a project and knowing there are some people who are amazing at it oh for sure for sure it's a skilled job totally yeah that was good dude also it's summer and i was reading about backyards and i was wondering what's your guys's ideal backyard dude i mean growing up in oc dude i've seen some pretty dank backyards um i mean dude if there's no budget and there's no limit here and I got some acreage to play around with, I'm talking, I want a half-court sports court with a basketball hoop that can be raised and lowered

so I can dunk. I want that so my boys can play, we can play three-on-three half-court. I'd love to have a pool, of course, and then a dank dank barbecue area with perhaps a little like you know maybe like pizza oven stone pizza oven there and a little maybe a kegerator dude going on so pool sports court freaking dank trampoline dude maybe a dug in one so you know no one goes flying off of it but also maybe close to the pool so i can jump off of it and then into the pool would be sick maybe a balcony area close to the pool so i could jump off the balcony in the pool my parents

weren't looking and then um you know probably a nice if i can really um indulge myself like a um like a canyon backdrop or a backdrop that's not looking where no neighbors can really see in so that i can just pull out my hog and take a leak outside you know because i don't want to take a leak in the pool and there is something liberating about taking a leak outside so i'd like to do that and um yeah i think that'd be tight that's sick dude in a nice grass area you know throw the throw the pigskin around of course um i love that yeah i'll fire off with mine so let's start with food um i want to have authentic food you know and i want selection so i want a hot dog stand from new y York City with a real New Yorker behind it. Oh, my God. Yes.

A butcher from Buenos Aires. Cooking up dank steaks. Of course. Buenos Aires. A churro stand from Disneyland. Great call. And just straight up a pokey stand you know sweet fin tuna actually let's go back to jam and salmon my dogs at jam and salmon nice doing it right um i'd love to have my 16th birthday probably my favorite pokey place besides luna's tuna dude luna's tuna is so good they're dude

they're freaking um they're freaking ponzu, dude. Oh, yeah. Oh, dude, they're ponzu. It would just light your mouth on fire. We always do that joke when we go in there. They're like, what kind of sauce do you want? Do you want the ponzu? I'm like, pon who?

They're like, pon you, dude. Yeah. Ponzu. And then they just dump it on. I'm like, don't get shot at on me, baby. I know, right? Dude, Rick there. Tilt.

Tilt that hand. Have you met Rick at Luna's Tuna? No, I never met Rick. Oh, dude. He's like 6'3". Yeah, dude. Whoa, he's 6'3"? He's 6'3", dude.

Big guy. Sick. And he's just more like naturally jacked. He's like so chill that he's just like, he doesn't have to work at it. Yeah, it looks like he got his deltoids playing the bongos. Yeah. Yeah. That's so tight.

Yeah. And because he's so like huge and just sick sick he just gives you huge scoops of tuna he's giving you a portion that he'd want to have himself and that's really what you got to like yeah he's serving it up the way he'd want it and that's how if i'm at a small business yeah to be treated yeah it feels like he the tuna came from him totally totally like he just cut out of his quad because he's out of his quads yeah yeah and but but dude you know uh lindsey at jam and salmon i mean she whips up the dankest togarashi um hair down to her feet what's up she's got hair down to her feet yeah when she spins in a circle

oh really yeah and she she's just really passionate about pokey man why can't you have both in your best sized umbrella circumference yeah oh my bad that's a healthy amount of protein dude did my bad lunatuna you'd be in my backyard too yeah dude this is a dream scenario am i right oh absolutely yeah dude freaking both dude don't wake me up. Yeah. Yeah. Then I'd have waffles and pancakes from Disneyland in Mickey shapes. Oh, do they have good stuff there with that? Totally. I mean, yeah, yeah. And then I'd have like a Mickey Mouse.

Dude, I'd probably boke that guy after a day because it'd get weird. Yeah. But I'd just have one breakfast in the backyard where he's like, and you're like, what's up, dude? And I'd be like, all right, you're fired. That's awesome. It's nice to assert power in that scenario too a little bit. You pull a power move.

It's your backyard. Yeah. Yeah, totally. Just let him know you're out. Yeah. And he'll be like, what does that mean? You're fired. Yeah, you hit him with an enemy.

Make him guess a little bit. Not in my backyard. Yeah, not here. Like literally not in my backyard. Yeah, exactly. Totally. That's awesome. Take a churro to go. Yeah. Be a nice guy about it. yeah yeah not here like literally not in my backyard yeah exactly yeah i would totally that's awesome take a churro to go yeah be a nice guy about it so then after that i'd have a wave pool a lazy river a water slide a fat bowl nice bath a sauna a foam pit a huge ramp um

i have a pole maybe i could take up pole dancing. Tight. You definitely could. A fat outdoor theater. Oh, very nice. An amphitheater? Yeah. That's fucking sick, dude. Yeah. And... Hellenistic of you.

Yeah. And I'd have a real-life jousting setup, you know? Dude. That I'd get, like, for real nights to see if they wanted to, like, really go after it, you know? And, you know, I'd make it legal. Dude, medieval times? I fucking miss medieval times. I've never been.

What? Yeah. Bro, we just have to go to medieval times. Sure, sure. I mean, when it opens again and it's safe to go. I think I'm flexing glass. Yeah. Yeah, it's fun, dude.

Yeah. All right, yeah, you got to, basically you have medieval times in your backyard. That sounds tight. Yeah. And out, sorry, I keep going, because going because I have a little monkey forest with trees you can climb on. So you can climb on the trees with the monkeys and just, like, kick it with them. That's tight.

A pride of lions that are just living there, you know, but they can go if they want. Like, I'm not holding them there. A freaking giraffe, I I mean just for aesthetic and then a outfit zone where you can have like a plethora of like Hawaiians

and shades and and board and board shorts and but it's barefoot only in my backyard so dude I love the detail bro

yeah that's literally amazing crush crush crush thanks dude I wanna come over to your backyard I'm over my backyard now, dude. No, I want to come to yours.

Of course, you're welcome anytime. Yeah, split it up. Yeah. Dude, I'd have the Coliseum CrossFit Games just kind of set up outside. A lot of platforms. Yeah. A lot of ropes. A lot of battle bikes.

And then assault bikes. And then I'd have a Teppan Grill, Tyrese style. Yes. Tyrese has a Benny Hanna's in his backyard. Legit. I'd have one ofppan grill, Tyrese style. Yes. Tyrese has a Benny Hanna's in his backyard. Legit. I'd have one of those. Best ideas. Wave pool.

Absolutely. And then just a monster music setup so that I could have a bevy of bands come through and just jam out while we get our outdoor lift on and tan. You could have your own warp tour. Yeah. Because what I've really realized, too, is that, like, dude, highest priority in my life, being able to move steel, weightlifting, fitness, just being jacked. I'm not jacked, but the quest for it, the pursuit of it is ultimate for me.

It's above all things. If I have that in order, everything else feels good. I love that. And my fear dissipates, dude. I'm less afraid of other things. Because if I move steel, I'm like, nah, I'm good. I'll survive. There's some things that are just, I don't know,

they're elemental to how we perceive ourselves, which is dangerous, you know, because you don't ever want to rely on something too much. Like my dad's in, you know, he sold hair care, and he was like, you never rely on one retailer for more than 30% of your business. And I feel like I'm relying on kettlebell lifting right now for more than 30% of my

identity. And that scares me. But here's the thing. You're not selling your identity. I mean, I guess to a degree. But I just mean you don't want to be too dependent on anything that you can lose. Which is maybe the wrong way to think about things. Because maybe that's a problem I have in relationships, is I'm too afraid to give myself

completely over to the person. I think I've done it once or twice. Because I'm afraid that if give myself completely over to the person. I think I've done it once or twice because I'm afraid that if they pull out, I'll crumble. But maybe then you miss out on real love. And right now I'm feeling real love with the kettlebells. I love that. And maybe it's 30% of your lifetime. Look at

the life you've lived. Probably not even close to that 30% yet with bells lifting. I need a therapist in my backyard too. Either Gary or Amir. That'd be sick. One of my therapists. Just a beast in the backyard to download on my issues with. Hell yeah, dude.

Is he just posted up there all the time? Yeah, he's just chilling there, having a great time. A couple of doggies too. A couple of Bichons, dude. Yeah. I love dogs. Dude, I try to act hardcore B's, too. Oh, yeah. A couple of Bichons, dude. Yeah. I love dogs. Yeah. Dude, I try to act hardcore on dogs.

I don't like them because I feel like they have too much power in our society right now, and there needs to be a correction. But then when everyone goes away, I get real cutesy with dogs. Yeah. Oh, yeah, dude. Dogs are the best, dude. That's it. Yeah, go ahead.

I was just going to say my GF wants to get a dog. Dude, get a dog. You should get a dog. You should get a dog. I should get a dog my GF wants to get a dog. Get a dog! You should get a dog. You should get a dog. I should get a dog. Aaron, you should get another dog. We'd probably all have to bring our dogs here then.

Dude, yeah, that'd be sick. The thing is, whenever you're feeling down, especially if you have Sunday scares or something, look at a dog. Because they never have the Sunday scares. They're just existing, and they're like, this is awesome. All the time. What about people who put their dogs on anxiety medication?

Dude, my GS parents put their dog on, because it has to be on it, because it's just like, it's insane. It is? Yeah. It needs it. I think it got, it was treated poorly uh when i was young from like a different owner it pretty horrific stuff i think ptsd yeah so it's just like always on edge just like but she likes me which i like i'm so fired up on because they're like she doesn't like anyone i'm like i know dogs and. And I'm all for medication.

I'm medicated. But even with my psychiatrist, I'd be like, hey, is this going to work? He's like, we don't know. Everything's a crapshoot. And I'm like, so if it's a crapshoot with humans and you can more directly evaluate our behavior and our feelings on our behavior, how do you do it with a dog? Good call, dude. I don't know.

I think it's more of like a just straight up Xanax style. It's not like. Let's sedate this motherfucker. It's not like an SSRI. It's more just like, let's put you in a happy zone. Right. Dog hooked on benzos. Yeah.

It seems to me like you've got clinical depression and schizophrenia. The dog's just like, dude dude i'm just freaking out man the dog's like how come nine different dogs are talking to me right now yeah should we write a dog poem for next week yeah depressed dog poem for next week dude i saw little duckies uh dude that was so cute i saw that on your story dude i i kind of i feel bad because i was like chasing i wasn't chasing. I was trying to like see them. But the mother goose was just like, get away, dude. I was like, all right, later.

Right. But it's a nice little squad. That's compelling, dude. Seeing little ducks. You don't get to see them. Most ducks you see are full grown. Yeah. Yeah.

The mom was so protective, too. She's like, get away, dude. And I was like, I didn't get, I was literally like 50 feet from them. But even so, she's like, I can feel your presence. Those are some of my favorite videos where like a lion's going to grab like a baby wild bull or something. And then the mama bull will just come over and just give the lion a hug. Yeah. Yeah.

It's so crazy how powerful they are. Yeah. Dude, my cousin, shout out to Evan. He was sending me photos of, he's in North Dakota because that's where his wife is from. He was sending me photos of, there's this one bowl, he was sending me photos of its dong and its sack, dude. Really?

Huge. Really? That's awesome. Yeah, I was so fired up. I was like, dude, thank you so much. It's just made my day. Like, this is an epic dong, dude. Negates some of our theory of, or I guess it doesn't really negate,

it's just... Compliments. It compliments. It's like, you know, a bull has a fat hog, but it's a powerful animal. A silverback has a tiny hog, still a powerful animal.

Yeah. Yeah. Powerful animals come with all shapes and sizes and they're penis raging. Yeah. Penis raging. What do you call it? Penis raging. Penis region. What do you call a group of geese? Your penis region.

Your penis region. Your penis is raging. Do you know what you call a group of geese? A gaggle. Yep. Oh, damn it. Yep. I know one out of every four.

It's solid. I know goose. What do you call a group of dolphins? A pod. We're doing a group of dolphins right now. Oh, yeah. Dolphins, dude. Dude, when I saw that movie, The Cove, the documentary,

and they talked about how when you're swimming with the dolphins, it's actually torture for the dolphins, and they said nature's greatest lie is the dolphins' smile. Devastating information. I didn't know that. Information I wish I could unlearn, unremember. Yeah. Dude, I've been seeing a lot of dolphins out there.

It's very comforting. Oh, they're beautiful. When they ride waves? How fucking cool is that when they ride waves? Yeah. It's a good sign. It means like if dolphins are around, like sharks usually aren't around. Right, yeah.

Why do they say that? Because they're not hunting in the same zone for what they're around there. Like if a shark sees a dolphin, he's like, oh, he's already got this. I'll go kick it somewhere else. And dolphins are smart. They'll gang up on sharks and hit them and stuff. Yeah. Dude, orcas will fuck up sharks.

They'll flip them upside down, and sharks will get disoriented and just die. Right. Yeah, they say in a one-on-one fight, an orca is a better fighter than a great white, right? Orca is the apex predator of the ocean. Wow. The orca. They better fighter than a great white right orca is the apex predator of the ocean wow the orca we put them in pools yeah so what psychopath was like beautiful animal i'm gonna make it do tricks for me yeah well blackfish talks about how their their dorsal fin only gets bended if they're stuck in captivity although i heard that movie had some suspect uh information in it oh really yeah but it was super effective like when i saw it i was like yeah so pissed off at sea world the main

the main thesis of hey these majestic animals that are fucking gigantic don't want to be trapped in pools yeah yeah and the sophistication of the animal and the intelligence of the animal like they're super conscious of their captivity yeah yeah like same with birds dude dude my mom has a parrot dude i'm like you need to get rid of that thing dude yeah you've been talking about that yeah because they're in a cage yeah when they live to be like 100 or something like that yeah they live dude they live to be like 70 or 80 but what's she gonna do with it what's the i don't know dude give it to a sanctuary or something i don't know does it fly around at all yeah my brother

luckily my brother like treats it really well and like lets it out but like that's the thing people who are into birds have a relationship with their bird like most people do with dogs like they'll go walking with it they'll freaking be posting up on its shoulder like just walking around the bird's not flying away my mom's not a bird lady dude like bird ladies like will like shower with their bird like it'll like people have perches in their showers for them and stuff and like that's they get pretty like gnarly it's like weird but i guess it's chill for them weird to an outside observer but like yeah dude i want to like heist my mom's bird dude like like freaking free willie heist it and set it free for sure but sure. But it won't ever survive in the wild.

It's got to get put in some sort of sanctuary. Guys, let's cycle through it. Chad, what's your beef of the week? Well, dude, I'm actually pissed on this one. So I was talking to my mom, and my mom lives in New Mexico. And, you know, there's another spike happening, especially in the south, according to this article I read. You know, apparently it's apparently bad in in texas and florida numbers aren't that bad in new mexico but then she tells me

that these motherfuckers oh and uh the numbers are bad in arizona she tells me these motherfuckers from texas and arizona are coming into New Mexico. Stay in your state, dude. Stay away from my mom. You selfish fucks. I might get heat for this, but you know what? I'm pissed. It's not cool, dude. I mean, that's what contributed to a lot of the spread

is because people were in hot spots and then they traveled somewhere else. They're like, oh, I'll just go somewhere else. And then you started there. So stay home. Don't go to New Mexico and spread it there. You limey fucks. I'm pissed.

It's valid. You care about your moms. You care about your moms, dude about your moms dude they're English I got that too wait dude they traveled from England to Texas in Arizona and then cruised to New Mexico yeah

that's fucking wack that's weird that's fucking pisses me off that's unbelievable. There's a reason we booted you in 1776, dude. Yeah, dude. Later, dude. The reason we canceled Concord Jets so you couldn't move around that fast.

Yeah. Taxation without representation. Yeah. Coronavirus without me knowing you. Bail ski, dude. Yeah, take your tea and fucking sit on it. Exactly, dude. Absolutely.

Exactly. Aaron, what's your beef of the week? My beef of the week is with civilian fireworks oh dude i keep hearing these god damn it stop it my neighbors i mean there was the there was like an eight car police action on sunday because of fireworks like just stop it what are you? Wait till the day that everyone's allowed to do it. I mean, technically you're not, you're still, it's still illegal no matter what. Uh, but man, just, it is frustrating how, how 10 AM to two in the morning, they're

just going off all night. It's, why? Dude, save it. I agree. I've experienced it, Aaron, and I share your frustration. I share your beef. Yeah, what is that?

I don't know. There's theories on it. I was looking on Twitter, and there's people are like, what is this fireworks movement? There's some conspiracy theories. Yeah, yeah. I'm like, I didn't really click on it to get them i don't do you know do you know more about the theories chat i'm like i just remember hearing about them it's like

people are doing them all over cities yeah people think it's a scare tactic by the government i don't really understand that um i just think somebody in the somebody in the fireworks lobby the gunpowder lobby uh was like hey here's a way we can make money let's let's uh let's hit up politicians and get the laws loosened and they have over the last five years or so and now they're available in places they weren't before now they're available like for sale online which before. Now they're available for sale online, which I think is also crazy. That's pretty nuts. So yeah, that's why there's just so much more of them being sold to consumers.

We drove home on the 4th of July from San Diego one year, and it's just off of every freeway was major mortar action. It was crazy. Yeah. Was it Jason Pierre-Paul that fucked up his... He blew off a couple of his fingers. Yeah. He's still good, but

he's not as good as he was. But God bless him, man. He's still in the league. He invented this apparatus so he can still bench. It's pretty badass. Yeah, it's cool. But still, no one is bulletproof. Firework proof. Yeah, dude. There are vets out there with ptsd

they don't need to hear this all of our domestic animals don't want to hear it yeah dogs get scared yeah dude my mom's bijan freaked out in socal seldom is there thunder and dude my thunder happened one night and apparently the dog flipped out and the power went out, so the nightlights that are usually on, the dog couldn't see, just ran headlong into a freaking leg of a chair, cracked its dome, didn't die, but it got fucked up, but died soon after. Damn, dude.

That was the start of the end. I remember when that happened. It was because it scared the animals. Yeah, dude, the animals don't like that stuff. What's your beef of the week? My beef of the week is my sleep schedule, dude. I got a freaking, and it's, I really need to step things up. I've let the Q team get to me, and I've been just too, I've been gaming late, dude.

JT and I were gaming late last night. We're so bad, dude. Bro. Just role players. We need a star. We need someone who can just wipe out another team. Our tactics are solid. I'm sorry, but you're so bad, dude. Bro. Just role players. We need a star. We need someone who can just wipe out another team. Our tactics are solid. I'm sorry, but you're so bad.

No, dude, no, no. You're 100% right, dude. No, please, go on. But like, so true. And we have, yeah, we're playing well. We're getting each other's backs. Dude, we're holding down this nice, amazing, like, little room that has limited access.

This dude fakes me out, opens a door. I go toward the door like, oh, like a total idiot. He literally just speeds around, pistol whips me, kills me, gets JT afterwards, and we're like... No, I killed him. His buddy killed me. Well, I downed him. I didn't come all the way. He came back to life. So it's just brutal.

Piece of shit. Yeah. But basically, I just need to be more disciplined, dude. I've been letting myself go a little bit during the... and not maximizing and you know i'm not i don't want to take it hard on myself i don't i don't think during the quarantine i need to like you know come up with a masterpiece piece of artwork or something although i did write that fire poem but like i don't know i want to get up at regular hours and

chill maybe i will not that my gf's got a little break from work we'll start doing some stuff together so i've just been beefing with my sleep pattern lately. Dude, I think it's messed up a lot of people's sleep patterns. For sure. People's dreams too, right? That's been frequently commented on. People's dreams have been extra gnarly during the quarantine. Yeah, bro, I've had gnarly dreams.

Dude, my beef of the week? I don't even know what my beef of the week is. I've got so much beef right now. I don't know what my beef of the week is don't even know what my beef of the week is i got so much beef right now i don't know what my beef of the week is right now i'm i'm beefing i feel internal beef internal strife i feel external strife i've i've lost some confidence in just us as a species like the people who are around right now i worry about like i i don't know i just don't just don't trust our ability to act intelligently, collectively, as much as I used to. I have actually more confidence in myself, which is good. I feel good about my headspace and how I'm seeing things.

But I've lost some faith in, I don't know, just like specifically, I guess, the American people. Yeah. I'm wondering, just like, we don't seem to react to anything correctly. Yeah. And it's got me a little beefed up. All right, Chad, who is your babe of the week? My babe of the week is, oh, dude, my ankle tan. Oh.

Fired up on my ankles right now, dude. You know, there's certain kinds of tan you want to get you know the bronze isn't just like you know people and they have a baseline understanding of the bronze they're like oh you get bronze you know you go to florida for a couple days and you come back and you look bronze but you know there's certain types of bronze i'm going for. I wear no-show socks, baby. That's what daddy's all about. I shouldn't call myself daddy. That's what your boy's all about.

I just want to show the screen that I've always aimed to have a good ankle tan. Oh, there we go. There's too much light in here aaron there's too much light it doesn't look good it looks pretty white oh dude look pretty pale dude oh sorry sorry there's too much light in the video production studio but i'm just saying my ankle tan right now is fire and you can see it from my pants and it's it's just I'm like that's why I know I'm in summer when you got that nice ankle tan and people you

can pull up your pants and be like dude you've been out there in the sun I'm like yes I have so that's my babe what a legend dude that's badass yeah those no-show socks i love them i very much associate that with like you oh dude thank you yeah dude i i would get so much shit for them especially early on in comedy or early on people be like you'd be like dude wear your socks you don't wear socks dude i'm like i'm making, all right? So you can take your generic New Balance, no, not New Balance, your generic Fruit of the Loom socks and pull them up high. I don't know. That's how I insult people.

Our sock game is different. I like wearing high socks. I wear high stance socks. I like your sock game. Thank you, dude. I wear these stances with these things, dude. See those? Yeah.

See that? See these socks, dude? And just, they're sick, dude. I wear these stances with these things, dude. See those? Yeah. See these socks, dude? And just, they're sick, dude. Like postman style socks. Probably because I have twiggy calves. My calves are pretty twiggy. Yeah. I got like bird bones, so I'm maybe a little self-conscious. Yeah. So, I respect what you do. Nice. I respect what you do. Thank you what you do thank you nice be sure that's about out so what's up dude respecting my dogs aaron who's your babe of the week my babe of the week

is the tv show what we do in the shadows oh nice tv show it's so funny i mean i don't know if you guys saw the movie yeah uh i like everybody involved the movie, but to me it kind of got, it felt like the same joke over and over a little bit. Um, maybe I just have to rewatch it. I tried to watch it twice and I was super tired both times. But, uh, the TV show is just so funny. It's so great. Um, you know, it's like, uh, if you're not familiar with the the premise it's like uh three

or four uh real vampires live in a house and they basically have an office style documentary crew following them around so they have little interviews and asides and stuff and it's just it's there's so many great jokes in it uh i don't i can't even think of ones to repeat one of the vampires is an energy vampire so he's just a normal looking dude who just tells you boring stories at work and and feeds off of it that's hilarious yeah it's really it's really good check it out it's on fx or if you have hulu uh all fx shows on areulu, which is amazing. It's great. It's got a good Christopher Guest vibe to it. Oh, yeah, very much. And a lot of them are directed by the guy from Workaholics.

Also, Taika Waititi is very heavily involved and directed a lot of episodes. Oh, cool. Yeah, I love the movie. Nick Kroll is a guest star in it. Nice. Oh, cool. What's it on? FX.

Or Hulu. Nice. Shriderider who's your baby of the week maybe the week's got to be my gf dude um today i woke up once again my sleeping pattern's all weird dude just woke up at the i woke up like three times today woke up at 7 a.m because that's the time the dude decided to start using the leaf blower like 15 feet from my head outside my window then i was like all right well i gotta power through this then i then i woke up regular time during qt around 10 30 chug some water took a leak and i'm like you know dude austin power style just long leak then i'm like dude i'm gonna go and just uh check some emails in bed whatever passed out again 12 30 wake up and at that time cruised outside smelled something very dank you would probably imagine either coffee or bacon you'd be wrong it was brownies and my gf had made brownies during the

daytime dude usually i feel like that's a nighttime thing that happens or whatever but um dude i had a fresh brownie a hot brownie with a hot cup of joe and i'm like dude my GF just made my freaking day, dude. And in fact, my week, dude. So, gotta be my GF, dude. That fired me up. Dude, my babe of the week is a Tia Claire Toomey, three-time CrossFit champion of the year. Dude, she is such a beast. All right, so what I like about her the most

is that when she started off in CrossFit, she had an opportunity to win first place and she literally lost because of self-esteem issues. Like you can watch, they have a lot of docs, they chronicle the sport well, and I watch them all. Like in 2015, 2016, she had an opportunity to get first place and going into the final day, she had the leader's jersey and she was like, I don't want to wear the leader's jersey. She's Australian. She's like, she's like, it's, I don't know. I feel lame. And I wish I didn't have this stupid jersey. Like, she didn't want to be the leader. And she was like, she felt self-conscious being the leader.

And she's on camera. She's like, please don't film me. Like, film everybody else. Just I want to kind of seed into the background. And that was kind of the vibe she had. She didn't want to be front and center like the champion has to be. And then so she ends up getting second place. And she ends up watching the doc.

And then she comes back in like 2016 or 2017 and she's like look that's not how i was raised to be i'm not going to be that person anymore and she comes through and she dominates and she gets first place and now she's a three-time champion and with each year she's putting more distance between her and the second place finisher and she's just totally grown into herself as the premier female uh female crossf the world. And I just, I don't know, dude. I'm just, she's so jacked. She's so badass. Her husband and her best friend is her trainer.

He pushes her. She gets annoyed with him. She's like, what are we doing next? He's like, well, we're done after this, right? He's like, no, after this, we're going to do some bench. Then we're going to do calisthenics. She's like, God damn it. And then she's like, sorry, that's what we have to do.

But she does it. And then they just keep dominating together. She trains with the number one male in the world, Matt Fraser, the two top dogs just pushing each other. And Tia Claire Toomey, I just think you're super inspiring. I love the way you self-actualize, and that led you to titles. And I just love that about sports, that no one ever just wins a title on their first try.

You know what I mean? LeBron had to drop a couple. He had to lose to Dirk and the Mavs to figure out that he needed to take it to the low block more, that he had to be more dominant, that he had to be a couple. He had to lose to Dirk and the Mavs to figure out that he needed to take another low block more, that he had to be more dominant, that he had to be more assertive. And I just love that sports are this great microcosm for life where you have to learn about yourself to actually be the champ.

And Tia Claire Toomey is a great example of that. And now, I don't know if they're going to do CrossFit this year. It's kind of on the fence because the old owner, Greg something, was a racist. But he sold the company, so I'm hoping they can come back and do the tourney because I'm obsessed. It'd be sick to go check that out.

That'd be tight. Dude, I went and saw Ferraro when he was in the regionals. And it's like some of the most fired up I've ever been at a sporting event. Ferraro placed number one in his heat in like a rope climb event that included power cleans. Dude, the workouts they do are so fucking insane. And afterwards, dude, my bro and I were just screaming. joe we're all like go go go and afterwards ferraro pointed at us nice dude that's amazing made my fucking life bro that's sick dude i want to go to that i want to go to f1 dude i want to try these new go to these new events dude dude that's what i love like just getting invested into a sport through watching about it and then you just get deeper and deeper into the minutiae because i

was if you watch this the crossfit docs they're all such lovely people like they root for each other if they lose they're like hey but i'm really happy that person won i just wish i would have done better for my own sake like they they take it very uh um they're very magnanimous about everything but uh and my brother was like I don't think that's true. But then we messaged our buddies who are in CrossFit. They're like, no, that's the community. It's very positive. And I was like, fuck.

That's cool. Although I've learned a lot more about Matt Fraser, and it turns out he's a little more bitter than I thought. But I still worship the guy. That's so sick. Chad, who's your Legend of the Week? My Legend of the Week is Dank Outfits. Nothing changes your mood like a Dank Outfit.

I was going on a cruise with my mom back before this all happened, December. And, dude, we were at a hotel in Fort Lauderdale the night before, before we hop aboard. And in the hotel lobby, there was just like a white linen outfit fully decked out and my mom being the legend that she is she's like you should get that and i was like hell yeah so i threw it on i felt like a million bucks i was like this is the best i mean nothing boosts your stoke like a dank outfit where you you're standing there and it's kind of loud and people are like taking a double look like is he really wearing that and you stand there

with your little dong out and you're like i am wearing this and i love it and people are like you know what i love that like last night i was wearing you know white linens and like a hat with a cigar and i was carrying my board some guy I never met in my apartment building walks by and he stops and he's like, you know what, dude, I love your vibe. And I was like,

thank you. Thank you so much, dude. That's because of dank outfit. So yeah, I love that. You boosted his stoke. Just being you.

Yeah. That's time. That's awesome. Aaron, what up? Dude, it's my legend of the week it's uh it's almost the fourth of july so as it is every year my legend is the film the film jaws what yeah that is fourth of july fourth of july movie uh It is easily one of the greatest movies ever made. It made you believe that Rubber Shark was real.

Much like the Superman movie made you believe someone could fly. It's just, I mean, what a cast. What performances from everybody. What an amazing backstory to, to a film, uh, that was incredibly difficult. What a early,

I mean, obviously huge success for, uh, one of our great Steven Spielberg. Um, there's, yeah, there's just so many great documentaries about it, books about it.

I just can't get enough of it. Uh, it's the 45th anniversary this year. So I will be watching it in the next week or so. As I always do. That's fire. Nice.

Strider, who's your legend of the week? My legend of the week is Aaron. Nice, dude. Aaron's been crushing it on History is Dank. He's been drilling it on the sticks. We's been drilling it on the sticks we've been laying down eps he's been dropping fire knowledge dude making it happen so i gotta just give aaron the shout out that is very very well deserved legend of the week nice thank you guys thank you of course dude dude my legend of the week is clint eastwood

nice he's 90 years old and i just watched richard jewell that was probably my top three movies of the year last year i think it was parasite little women richard jewell i loved richard jewell it's fantastic it's out now it's really really good yeah yeah it's available for rent and uh the performances are just incredible pw hauser super showy performance but a showstopper it was great and uh just a good story and and you know i know he took some liberties with the the reality of it but i don't know dude the guy's 90 years old and he turned in a banger i got i got nothing but love for him and i do i just i i appreciate clint eastwood like healthy guy meditates has a couple beers but lives a really healthy lifestyle

committed to fitness committed to being healthy and it paying off. The guy's still making bangers at 90. That's insane. And then he was the mayor of Carmel-by-the-Sea, that little town up in northern California, beautiful little town to be a mayor of. I love that he took a little detour from his career and said, you know what? How about I just do a little local government? That's the way we should all be living our life. I mean, that hugely inspired us and our activism, you know?

Yeah, totally. We should all dip into that. Yeah. You don't got to do it forever, but commit for a little bit to just helping your city. See if you can be mayor. And, you know, he's virile. He's had a lot of children. I respect that.

He's a good actor, too. Gruff and tough and still ripped. He's got the looks. He's got the looks. Good dude. Been his prime. Good looking guy. Handsome.

And then his son, Scott Eastwood. Oh, he's attractive too? Oh my God. Matinee idol. That guy's one of the most beautiful guys of all time. Not quite Tristan in Legends of the Fall, but... I want to know who that dude is with long hair who you can't think of. I know, dude.

He's driving me nuts. I want to know that. I want to know too. Eastwood. I've allied Clint Eastwood's car once. Nice guy. Yeah? Yeah.

And dude, didn't drive a showy car. He kind of drove like an old dude car. I think it was like an old like Chevy, whatever like the cop cars are. He just had like the civilian version of that. It's a comfortable ride. I got it. I know what the other hottest guy I was thinking is. Can I try to guess?

Go for it. Can you give me? Oh, I need a hint though. I need a hint. All right, I'll give you a hint. He's in a movie in the 90s with Robert De Niro.

With De Niro? Cape Fear is too early. Alright, you know, can I just give you... Oh, wait. Oh, no. No, I was thinking I think he was in Ronin. Alright, I'll give you another hint. This guy's looks fell off a cliff. He got ugly later. And he was in Ronin. Alright, I'll give you another hint. This guy's looks fell off a cliff. He got ugly later. And he's in the movie with De Niro?

Oh, man. In the 90s? Not Keanu Reeves. I like where you were saying with Pacino. Pacino? Pacino might be in the movie, too. Oh, oh. Oh, dude.

Scent of a Woman. Chris O'Donnell? No. With Three Musketeers? I got it. It's Nero and Pacino. Val Kilmer. Val Kilmer and Heat.

Heat. Val Kilmer and Heat, dude. Great call, dude. Great call. Val Kilmer and Heat. And then... Yeah, he was a hot dude. Jim Morrison. Played Jim Morrison. Yeah. Val Kilmer and Heat and then yeah he was a hot dude Jim Morrison

played Jim Morrison yeah Val Kilmer and Heat and then Brad Pitt and um Legends of the Fall

I think they're the two most beautiful people of all time yeah this isn't the best photo representation of it but I mean look at Val Kilmer

shooting that machine gun yeah dude you know he got a balayage. He's a balayage. He got the balayage. Dude, you know what?

In my emotions, I forgot that we didn't answer any questions. Oh, yeah. Should we do questions first and then circle back to quotes, or should we do it at the end? I have to get back soon. There's no way we're doing extra beefs. Do you want to do just a couple questions quick or what time's your out?

I can do some questions. All right. Sorry, guys. We went out of order a little bit today, but we're going to do some questions right now. Here we go. Do you want to do quotes real quick and then it's less editing?

What's up? Do you want to do quotes first? It And then it's less editing. What's up? Do you want to do quotes first? It's less editing if you just finish this piece off, right? But I'm probably going to do it out of order in the edit. Oh, okay. Yeah. Roommates saw me jerk off, but I'm a sexual auteur. Hello, I made a factual error in my first email.

I said I moved here three months ago. It was three weeks ago. What? I think this guy got caught. Dude, that was my email, dude. I sent that to you guys, dude. What? Let me look it up.

I had a roommate catch me masturbating right when we moved in together. He came back into our dorm room, and I was in there just tugging on it on the bed. And then I just went, oh, that's awkward, and closed my computer. And we didn't talk about it again. And then, like, four months later, we got drunk, and I was like, dude, that was crazy when he caught me beating off. I was like, yeah, that was weird. I got caught by my buddy my buddy matt and his brother chris and uh at my old house there was like a little basement you know and there's a separate

entrance and there's a window going right into my bed and i didn't know they were gonna use a separate entrance you know no one really did. And so I was just freaking drilling myself with just some naughty stuff on the screen. And they just go. They just tap on the window. I'm like, oh, what's up, dudes? And we didn't say anything about it. That's right. I don't think words need to be spoken on.

That's amazing. It's so funny it's funny yeah not when you're the one that gets caught but more when you catch someone else because oh yeah but it's good to know that from catching if you get caught most people they don't think any less of you they just think it's funny yeah because that's sort of what i when i first got caught, I was like, oh, they think I'm like a weirdo. But then you realize that

it's just natural. You're just drilling. Yeah. Everyone drills. Yeah. I wouldn't worry about it, dude. If you got caught drilling, that's just how it goes.

Just don't make, you don't want to get caught drilling multiple times. Yeah. Dude, one time when I was like a teenager, I passed out after after like i passed out right after drilling myself on top of the bed like and flagrante and then i woke up under the sheets

in different clothes so i think my mom and my nanny found me and changed me dude when i lived in spain with a host family um i lived with like an older lady and her kids came over for like saturday lunch and after lunch we were all gonna take a siesta a nap so I get in my bed and I just start drilling and her kids walk in and I'm like and they're like hold on we just wanted to say goodbye

and I'm like oh yeah goodbye guys pantsless under the bed so I just like hug them from the bed and I was like pretty sure they just caught me oh my god but they handled it respectfully yeah it's like he's drilling himself but we gotta say goodbye yeah in spanish um what's the drill yourself in spanish um what airtay probably felice mon monos Probably Feliz Manos. Probably Happy Hands. Oh, nice.

Dude, great mind. Say Happy Hands. The word drill in Spanish is to perreforar. Perreforarte. Perrefor... How do you say it once? Self. I don't know self.

Perreforar. Gotta roll your R's. Perreforarte. That's all kooky. Yo me voy a perreforar. Me gusta. Me dink. Me dink.

Powerful language. All right, next question. Move in with Ken or, yeah, do we answer that? I think so. Yeah. Move in with Ken or move into my dad's den? Hey, I have a question for you two. I am currently a new graduate and I am working full time.

I have my MS, but I am working in a call center for a school. It's not fantastic money, but it does pay the bills. My dad lives 30 minutes outside of town and has offered to have me live with him. I can save $400 a month if I am willing to drive one hour road trip each way. Rent is very cheap in Virginia. I love the town I am in and may feel separated from the town I live in if I'm 30 minutes away. However, if I live with my dad, I would be financially freer and would be closer to family. Should I live with my friend Ken for $400 locally or live with my dad 30 minutes away

for free? What would you do if you were me? Live with Ken. You'd be saving some dough, but you got to have the experience of living outside. You'd be saving some dough. But you've got to have the experience of living outside. You know, you can go see family on the weekend when you need to. You need to be partying a little bit. You need to be enjoying young life and the independence that comes with it a little bit. Yeah. And you know what?

You'll learn a little lesson not having that safety net around you too close. Yeah. Don't make, you know, money decisions you have to obviously make but billy being a little bit here from money ball don't make the decision based on dough get out there and this way if you drill yourself you get don't get caught by your dad yeah dude yeah you'll just get caught by ken who is probably drilling himself too yeah um yeah yeah i think if you can swing it i think the best move is to

move into with ken because dude i'm all for you know location location location experiences you know like i moved closer i always i always i moved closer to the osh recently it's amazing and i love it and i had to throw out a little more cash for it. But I'm willing to do that because I want to be close to the ocean and I don't regret it at all. Thomas, boom, clap, Lords of Stoke. First off, love the pod and you guys, let's get it. Let's get to it. My girlfriend of two years just went on senior week. Her friends told me you shouldn't come down with her because she needs time with her friends and she barely sees them due to the Rona. Obviously, I respected that but was open to the idea of coming for a day or two. One night, she calls me freaking out,

begging me to come down. I asked the rents and they declined the request because people going to Maryland were coming back with the virus and were getting their family members sick. After I told her I didn't think it'd be a good idea, she got really upset and we fought all night in the next day. I felt really bad for just not coming in the first place. After I told her I didn't think it'd be a good idea, she got really upset and we fought all night and the next day. I felt really bad for just not coming in the first place. So I sent flowers with a note to her senior week house. Something I do as a peace offering. She texted me, thanks for the flowers.

You're weird. To make matters more annoying, she texted me on her ride home. I had to leave her your flowers. I didn't feel like carrying them with me. Lords of Stoke, there were 12 flowers that cost your boy 60 bucks. I am lost. I don't know what to do. I love her to death, but i really feel down about this what do you think i should do thank you in advance but can you explain the first part again so she went to maryland yeah so she goes to maryland for some partying with her friends he wanted to go but her friends

told him not to come because she needed time with her friends oh they said that yeah which is like you must be hanging out with her a ton if they felt the need to slide in there yeah um but then one night she called him freaking out begging him to come down he asked his parents they said no um because they were worried about him bringing the runner back to them he felt really bad so he sent her flowers with a note to her senior week house um and she said thanks for the flowers you're weird and then she texted him and said i left your flowers because i didn't feel like carrying them with me i mean dude it's honestly it sounds like uh it sounds like you're putting forth a ton of effort

and that it's almost kind of freaking her out that you're putting forth so much effort. Yeah. And maybe she appreciates and maybe she likes that you're so into it, but then it also kind of throws her off a little bit that you're so into it. Yeah. But I don't know she should have taken the flowers it's really nice

flowers are nice I love flowers I was saying the other day I wish guys gave me flowers I love coming home to flowers what do you guys think? I'm wondering if we're just getting like his side of the story if he's able to see outside the perspective cause there's some missing elements here of like at first I was like okay this guy

maybe he's too possessive of a dude. If the friends felt the need to be like, yo, don't come down. Or if it's like, it's just a girl's trip. Why would he even consider going there? Then I'm thinking,

is there an age difference with this guy? Is he older than his girlfriend is by a little bit? And that's a weird vibe. Not like creepily older, but like five years or something like that. And I don't know, like maybe he's just not vibing. And so I'm like, are we just hearing this all from

his is he an untrusted narrator you know and telling us this story of like did he like was he texting her his girlfriend a lot saying to come down and then we only heard that she confirmed that we wanted him to come down so obviously i'm filling a lot of holes here and being a little conspiratorial, but it just makes no sense. Why would she have that weird reaction? Why would she say her full statement about the flowers? I feel like he's not telling us something.

Or we're not getting a piece of information that's necessary. I think it's like he's clingy. Maybe she likes him because he's clingy. But then when you are clingy, if you don't come through for them, they feel disappointed because that's what they've come to expect from you yeah you'll always be there whenever they need you yeah it's not a healthy relationship dynamic but i've seen that where it's like wait but you're supposed to be the guy who no matter what i want you come through yeah but that's not i don't know if

that's the real way you want to be loved by your partner yeah i don't think it is either but maybe that's maybe that's a whack-a-noodle perception of it but i don't know i'm treading through whack-a-noodle waters here maybe i'm power obsessed i don't know what was she freaking out about i mean that's the big thing that's missing here it's like yeah that was like that he drunk that he couldn't come because her parents his parents told her not to yeah i mean I mean. She was freaking out before that. She called me freaking out. That's what made him. So she freaked out and then he couldn't come because of that.

Yeah. But freaked out about what? I think she cheated on him. No, Aaron. Aaron, my dome's in the same spot. When she calls from her girls trip, I'm just like, oh, she cheated on him. Yeah. And then she gets mad at him over this.

It's like, oh, yeah, it's because she cheated on him. And she just. That could be. I just foresee her getting drunk and be like hey i need you like i'm lonely i need you and then he's like i'll be there and then his parents are like no like you're not going to go there with like a bunch of randos and risk getting the rona and then she's like hey you said you'd be there for me and then yeah i picture her as just needy and kind of annoying it sounds a little immature she's doing some immaturity I feel like maybe she was flirting with a dude vibing a little bit

being like I probably would hook up with this guy if I wasn't in a relationship I don't think she did though then she hit up her boyfriend drunk and then he didn't show up and she got mad but so most of us believe that she was doing something with another guy yeah why else would her I feel like it was a girls trip

I feel like she wasn't doing anything bad with another guy but she's probably hanging out dancing with the dude whatever that's fine no big deal yeah this is what i think this guy should do i think he should do the murph workout good call oh dude yeah get a 20 pound pull-ups uh 200 fuck squats now you do 300 squats what's oh 200 push-ups 300 squats another mile and that's i think that's then she'll come back dude dude josh bridges former navy seal current crossfitter he got so pissed off that a guy not from america won the murph at the crossfit game oh really came back the next year and just dominated it. That's awesome. It's all on our MRF, dude.

Do these guys do like double MRFs to train or like a MRF every day to train? The MRF wipes some of them out. Like Kara Webb, who's one of the top female CrossFitters, had a heat stroke doing it. Yeah. Because a lot of them don't like doing the more endurance-based training. They're more into the short burst stuff. So the MRF is one of the harder things they do. And then you're running with other people who are super fit so it makes you push beyond your capacity yeah but dude this guy but i agree with you chad it's just focus on yourself yeah right

yeah yeah putting too much effort if she got mad at you because your parents won't let you go that's on her like you shouldn't feel bad about that you're keeping your parents safe yeah and she didn't respect the flowers yeah he got her yeah i mean dude you know just like you know go make a pastrami reuben do the murph and just you know let things cool down and just sort of you know take a step back and if he does a murph he'll start crushing on himself and that's a crush you can rely on more. Totally. Yeah. So you're with yourself your whole life. Yeah.

And then you'll end up finding a crush who really admires you too. And then who doesn't freak out on you when you can't do unreasonable things. Yeah. Great call. Focus on you, not the guy she fucked. Aaron, dude, you are so good. This poor guy, dude. He's going to listen to this.

He's just like, oh, oh. Yeah, dude, He's going to listen to this and he's just like, oh. Oh. Yeah, dude, that's crazy. All right, let's get to our quotes. Chad, what's your quote of the week? So I got another Van Wilder quote. This comes from Van Wilder's dad. And, dude, I didn't realize Aaron Paul is in this movie. Oh, yeah.

Dude, weird. So this is Aaron Paul and Van's dad. Do you know where I might find Van Wilder? In the Guinness Book of World fucking records, dude. The rat is fucking dude alive. Okay, thanks. In any one of these three rooms, Gramps. That's amazing. that's Aaron Paul dude

Aaron Paul says he's the raddest dude alive yeah dude Aaron Paul's a great man great actor yeah that's my quote um

Aaron what's your quote of the week uh my quote of the week is from Jaws it is uh it's from the character Hooper played by uh Richard Dreyfuss.

He's referring to the mayor who does not want to shut the beaches down. He says, I'm not going to waste my time arguing with a man who's lining up to be a hot lunch. And that's pretty much how I feel about people on the internet who say they won't wear masks. Totally right. Yeah. about people on the internet who who say they won't wear masks totally right yeah word schreiner my quote of the week it's from this little book that i read dang i'm forgetting the title of it but it's just a fun book of like advice that this dad wrote to his kid when he went to college and it it's like a bunch of his quotes. And one of them that literally I always think of is, never fry bacon naked, and don't squat in spurs. Nice.

Is your shirt off with blue jeans on? That's the way I do it. Light blue jeans? A light wash blue jean, dude. I've been looking for a good pair for a long time. I got about seven, dude. I work out in them. I know.

I saw you doing bells in them. I was dying. Your brother sent that. I was dying laughing, dude. Love it. Dude, mine is from this guy, Mind Smash or Mash, who does UFC or mixed martial arts, rather, videos. And he was talking about George St. Pierre, one of the greatest fighters of all time.

And George St. Pierre is really cool. He's always like, I'm not the best. He's French-Canadian. He's like, any day there's someone out there who can beat me. But he's like the best fighter of all time. But he's very humble about it. And then MindSmash says, talking about George, but people in general, he goes, anyone who has ever been good at anything has first been a man or woman who's been crushed by their own inadequacy.

Great call. Dude, it's so true. It's true, right? Yeah, you never want to get high praise when you're starting out at something and you don't try as hard. And if you want to be great, you've got to confront your limitations.

You've got to be like, wait, I don't know if I can do this. And I might not be good enough. I might not have it in me. And if you don't have that conversation, I don't think you'll ever get to the other side of it. Yep, you have to have that moment. Like Bubba Spark says,

legends remain out of vulnerable men let's go um chad what's your phrase of the week for getting after it my phrase of the week for getting after it is dude moose dude gorillas have small dongs nice dude love that I freaking love that Aaron here's to

swimming with bow-legged women wait what was it? it's from Jaws as well here's to swimming with bow-legged women oh nice wait what was it? it's from Jaws as well here's to swimming with bow-legged women nice dude what's yours? I don't know if this one's exactly getting after but Aaron made me think of it because I recently watched E.T. and Elliot gets mad at his older brother

and he's like you know what you're talking about penis breath he calls his older brother penis breath's like you know you're talking about penis breath he calls his older brother penis breath and the mom's reaction is so priceless dude she's like elliot the mom's acting in that movie is great dude she taps into some pathos her husband just left her he's partying partying in mexico with his new gf hurtful dude she's stuck with all three kids not stuck she loves him you know what i mean but she's burdened and alone children all by herself dude and her kid's got an alien friend so she's going through a lot that mom character dude and so and the fact that she just had that little moment of

of laughing when elliot calls her brother penis breath you know it's just funny that's awesome i get it dude mine is from a eagle eye cherry He's singing the wonderful song, Saved Tonight. Yeah. Dude, if Eagle Eye Cherry and Marcy's Playground and Fastball could have combined into one band, they would have had a nice catalog. But unfortunately, all these bands only have one or two hits, but they're the best songs ever. You can throw the Wallflowers in there, too. One headlight.

And just meaningful lyrics. Right here at the top of Eagle Eye Cherry, Saved Night. Go and close the curtains, because all we need is headlight. And just meaningful lyrics. Right here at the top of Eagle Eye Cherry Save Night. Go and close the curtains, because all we need is candlelight. You and me and a bottle of wine to hold you tonight. So good, dude. Dude, it's just... Every line from that song is exactly what I

needed to hear. He's kind of got a creepy-sounding voice when he's saying those sweet things. I've always thought that guy's voice was a little creepy. Get the hell out of here. I've always thought that. No, he's not. He's a sensual dude. Not as creepy as Sean Mullins' lullaby did. Why are you judging Sean Mullins?

I love Sean Mullins. I love... Dude, you're throwing high heat on some guys who don't deserve it, bro. But dude, when Sean Mullins goes into the talking stuff, he's like, her parents hung out at parties with Bob Seger, Dennis Hopper, and Sonny and Cher. Yeah. Everything's gonna be all right. Rock-a-bye.

I was playing that, too. I was doing all 90s hits when I was DJing on Father's Day. Amazing song. But then you go, Save tonight. Fight the break of dawn. Come tomorrow.

I'm always like, he's just kind of a creepy sounding voice. Creepy? Get that out of here, you fucking prude, dude. That's not creepy, creepy dude you're a creep for thinking that's creepy dude that's true i'm projecting yeah some people are just romantic crazy time to be alive happy father's day too oh yeah yeah what up to all the dads alright dudes nice alright

it's creepy I'm not saying he is I'm saying he has sort of a creepy voice but I love that song you love Roy Orbison Roy Orbison's got a great one of the best voices

that guy's creepy he's got a creepy vibe with his glasses he's a little old but dude some of the notes he's able to hit and the way he's able to falsetto, swing notes.

You guys think these things worked? Do you guys think our plexiglass saved us if any of us have the Rona? Totes. Yeah, dude. I mean, look, it's not going to make things worse. Man, I'm so... I'm hungry.

What are you going to eat? I don't know. Caroline's in town, so I'm not sure. If you need advice These guys are really nice And you want to know What to do and where to go When you need someone to guide you There's a house right beside you

Go with the flow Go with the flow Let's go deep Go with the flow Let's go deep Bye.