Going Deep with Chad and JT - Ep 141 - Chad and JT

Episode Date: July 15, 2020

What up dudes? Chad and JT do some prank calls, talk cool happenings in the world, and mind meld with one another. Sponsored by Manscaped: Get 20% Off and Free Shipping with the code GODEEP20 at Manscaped.com. If you wanna trim your pubes during a contagion.

adjust my flow check my dong and let's start the song what up stokers of stoke nation this is chad kroger coming in with the going deep with chad jt podcast guys before we begin i'll remind you once again that we are brought to you by manscape manscape thank you so much for keeping our trims pubed for looking after our hogs for making sure that our dongs are looking fresh and clean because when you step out of the cutene, what do you want? A freshly cut lawn of pubes so that you can impress everyone with your dong. Dude, that was powerful with the direct-to-camera address. Yeah. I was watching off the big screen.

Yeah, I noticed I could look in the camera. I was like, I know which camera I'm looking at. So use code GODEEPWW at manscaped.com. I'm here with my compadre, Jean-Thomas. What up? Boom. Clap, Stokers. And we're in the studio once again.

Feels good. It's nice to be back. Yeah, always good to be in here. It feels great. It's a different vibe. It is. You got the nice bottle of vino. I'm drinking a little wine, yeah.

I feel like I'm already being insecure, but I don't drink that much. But I just drink when we do the pod. Yeah. No, you have a nice amount of restraint. I'm a social podcaster. Yeah. Yeah, I noticed when he boozed on the 4th of July, you were kind of just sitting back just sipping. Yeah.

I'm like, wow, JT a powerful powerful core when it comes to boozing just yeah but i just don't have it when it comes to jacking it yeah once i once i jack i can't stop yeah although i've been better about it yeah but that's really my my my drug of choice yeah or the drug that makes me spin yeah yeah um well a good thing the only thing you're beating is your meat yeah yeah and it's a good time for it too. Cause it's like, you know, uh, being promiscuous right now is dangerous. Totally. Yeah.

I mean, it always is. There's always downsides to it, but right now it's, you know, more immediate threat. Yeah. And you're helping your prostate. I mean, with booze and you're hurting your liver with this, you're just letting the jizz like flow through your prostate. Is that true? Apparently.

Oh man. Yeah. I am a fitness fanatic that sounds great dude if you get p-state cancer i'd be very surprised oh dude that'd be a huge bummer yeah you're because your prostate is just you know a bonger it's just regulating jizz non-stop yeah so dude p-state cancer yeah that almost makes it sound cool the way you said it. I know. I was going to say now I kind of want it, but I'm like, I don't even want to put that out there. Yeah, don't put that out there. Yeah. Dude, I'm into that now. Yeah.

Manifesting and stuff. Oh, you are? Yeah. I decided like four days ago. Dude, hit me with it. I'm into ghosts. I'm into spirits now. I'm into energies.

What? I'm into all of it. I've decided to make the leap. Why? Dude, what? Dude, I've been trying make the leap why dude what dude i've been trying so hard to be rational and that's not even who i am i'm like why am i trying so hard to be like a person who's like oh no you know we're just circuits and energy and like you know everything consciousness is just an illusion that our brain gives us yeah and once we die everything's over

it's like okay yeah maybe that's right and that's probably the most evidence-based argument to make. But that's not who you are. You believe in ghosts and spirits. You think that things live in the dark and that they can influence us and touch us. Yeah. And it's more fun that way. Dude, totally. I don't like putting a cap on what evidence and your senses, your sensual perception tells you.

I like thinking like, you know, like, I like thinking like, you know, there's a lot, I don't know. There's a lot I can't see or perceive. You know, there's probably like a freaking dude standing right here. There's a ghost in here right now. That makes me want to podcast better. Yeah. Because we got an audience. Yeah.

Rick. Rick. What up? The coolest skater in Huntington. Yeah, I can feel it right now too. I feel so cool. It feels better, right? It feels good. I feel so cool. It feels, it's more exciting to believe in thatton. Dude, yeah, I can feel it right now, too. I feel so cool. It feels better, right? It feels good.

I feel so cool. It feels, it's more exciting to believe in that stuff. Yeah. So now I'm more, I'm a more excited, happy person when I'm like, you know what, I do think there's a ghost in here right now. Yeah. Yeah. No, dude, I love, I love thinking that stuff.

I mean, even if it gets woo-woo, you know, if I'll be like out surfing or like something cool happens, I'll be like, dude, universe, you got my back. And then I can just like feel it being like, you know, just rubbing be like out surfing or like something cool happens i'll be like dude universe you got my back and then i can just like feel it being like you know just rubbing my back and just like yeah dude i got you i want to be able to do both like if someone needs advice i want to be able to like not be like someone who's like dude just like you know manifest the right thing i want to be like no i can give you clear rational advice but then when i step out of that i can go into just believing that the world is like full of fun and cotton candy and all this unique, fun, exciting, touching stuff. Yeah. Yeah.

Well, cotton candy does exist. Cotton candy does exist. That is true. But I think there's like there's cotton candy in like multiple forms. Yeah. It's coming out of your ears. Yeah. It's coming out of your nose. And your mouth right now. I yeah it's coming out of your ears yeah it's kind of coming out of your you know in your mouth right now i can see it coming out of your

nose and your mouth and your ears you're just you're spraying cotton candy do you know i can see coming out of your orifices what fun dip dude yeah like what if that's happening dude i have a memory from when i'm like six and we're driving to wyoming with my family and my mom and dad are sitting there and they're like, you know, Anthony, our family, they're talking to each other. They don't know I'm listening. They go, our family friend, Anthony, who's like 12 at the time, they go, yeah, it happened to him. He got captured. Like he had like a thousand little miniature guys, like gnomes come out from under his bed and they, they kidnapped him. And Bob and Linda don't know what to tell Ian. And I guess Anthony's a little shaken up from all of it. And I remember it.

This isn't a dream. I think it really happened. And I don't know what they were talking about. And it was really weird. Yeah. Like they were treating it like it was something I couldn't know about. Yeah. But like it was something that happens.

Yeah. Do you know what happened now? No. I haven't followed up on it. Are you going to now that you've made the leap? Yeah. I mean, I'm a little like, because, you know, I love talking to my parents, but I think they're just going to be like, what the hell are you going to now that you've made the leap yeah i mean i'm a little like i because you know i love talking to my parents but i think they're just gonna be like what the hell are you talking about and they'll mean it yeah i don't maybe they don't even remember having

that conversation yeah yeah well i think there are there are a lot of times in childhood where you especially when you're like super young you're so discombobulated you know right you're like like i wanted to use an example but now i don't because it's but um what happened no i just i yeah no dude i really feel weird memory no it's it's it's it's scarring when i when i i mean i remember so vividly the first time i caught my parents boning yeah yeah i do i never and it's painful that i have to say the first time yeah um yeah but well as a as a grown man now and as sort of a sorry to go weird with it but like do you appreciate it more or is it still scarring still not my favorite all right cool i ran away and i went crying into my room and then i remember this i remember my mom came in to console me she's like it's okay it's okay it's beautiful and then i remember my mom came in to console me. She's like, it's okay, it's okay, it's beautiful.

And then I remember my dad came in and he looked frustrated. Really? Yeah. He looked upset. Yeah, JT. He was just in the door when he's like, fuck. Monica, how long is this going to take? She's like, I don't know, Tommy. He's clearly upset.

And my dad's like, yeah, all right. And in my mind, I'm'm like you had a lock on your door yeah but you know they like being risky john thomas it's beautiful uh that's interesting yeah i was gonna say spirits goblins ghouls oh yeah because dude so i went on a walk with this girl and uh she was like hey have you heard of uh of a thing called Rondo Nodding? Okay, so what you do is it's an app, and it's like a GPS kind of game where you type in like a word. And that word is the word you're hoping to manifest, or it's like the word that's like most in your consciousness or something. It's something in that realm of how you're thinking about things.

And then it gives you a GPS point, and you're supposed to walk or drive to that gps point to find and on your journey there the word will manifest itself so this is like a really creepy and extreme version of that but i guess someone does the game make sense yeah what i'm saying so i guess someone typed in travel and then they walked to the point and they found like luggage not near like pretty nearby the point and when they opened the luggage there was like a dead body in there or something. So I don't know what that has to do with like manifesting. What? That's just a crazy example of how this game can work out sometimes.

Yeah. I guess it was like someone. Oh, yeah. I heard this story. Oh, you did? I thought you were like explaining the game. I didn't realize. No, that's not even the game.

That's just like the game, a really extreme version of how the game can go sideways, I guess. Yeah. Yeah. But so I was thinking about health. So I said, okay, our word's health. And then we were on the San Clemente Pier, and the GPS put us in the middle of the ocean, and I was all excited. I was like, should we get like a boat and go out there?

But it was like nighttime and shit. And she was like, no, we probably can't do it. And then as we're walking down the pier, I see all these high school kids jumping in the water. They're jumping off the pier into the water. They're being wild. And they're like, go, go, do it. And they're all jumping in. And I'm like, hey, guys, be careful, you know, because pier into the water. They're being wild. And they're like, go, go, do it. And they're all jumping in.

I'm like, hey, guys, be careful. You know, because health is the word. And I'm like, but I saw everything in a different light because I was thinking about health. Like, it was all more powerful. And high school kids are so wild. They're so alive. They're so scary. Yeah.

Yeah. Like, I'm working out a lot. So I don't have to be afraid of 19-year-olds, you know. And they were all jumping in. And I was like, oh, I'm not that wild anymore anymore and then we walked all the way down as close as we could get to the point and and i think i did get the health i think i understood it yeah it did manifest how so i think because i thought about smooching her and then i was like no i can't do that because i don't know oh because the rona because the rona and i was like health yeah this would normally be that moment and then i was like

no now i won't yeah i have to be chased yeah dude that's interesting that's awesome and it's interesting how becoming a gentleman has sort of changed in the in the rona time yeah where you're like you're like can we like you know smooch or whatever you're like i really think we shouldn't we should wait we'd be exposing ourselves to each other and it'd be dangerous basically what i'm saying is i'm super paranoid about corona yeah i was like back up just back up lady yeah but it was a cool game push her off the pier yeah get out of here go she like coughs just trying to hurt me yeah we had a guy cough on us yeah oh yeah i transitioned i got uncomfortable with yeah well after watching on film it wasn't like that as gnarly as is like when i

in the moment in the moment but just because like dude like i just almost felt like i had to sneeze and i was like usually i'd be like you know just letting it fly but now i was like oh oh i appreciate that though that means a lot to me. Yeah, yeah. That restraint. Yeah. Yeah, we were handing out masks in San Clemente because people don't really dig wearing masks there. Yeah.

And then a dude came up. He's like, yeah, I'll take a mask. And as he grabbed it, he coughed in our general direction. Yeah. Yeah. And we were just trying to help with the shortage. Yep. So.

We got a shortage. I can't believe we got shortages, dude. That's so wild. Yeah. I was trying to get a Rohn's shortage. I can't believe we got shortages, dude. That's so wild. Yeah. I was trying to get a Rohn's test and they were like. You didn't get one? I can get one, but I have to wait a while because there's a shortage. Yeah.

And I'm just not a high risk person. Yeah. Yeah. Dude, I drove by the clinic by my apartment and it was, there were tons of people outside. Really? Like waiting. Yeah. That's kind of scary, right?

To be like, they weren't close to each other and stuff though no they're all distance but they're all waiting yeah because it's hectic it's he get it. I put on your headphones. Oh, right. Hello? Hello? This is Kevin Fard. hello hello this is kevin fard yeah hey kevin this is detective malloy i'm on that case you had about that guy who fired off around at the school? The janitor?

Do you know what I'm talking about? Um, what are you with? Excuse me? Speak up, son. Yeah, uh, Mr. Farr, this is Supervisor Danielsiels i'm just calling in on behalf of detective molloy here we are with the lapd uh daniels um what is your uh rank sarge it's sarge your rank is sarge hey hey partner i got news for you you're not going to commandeer

this phone call all right and here's what i called you to tell you you listen up here detective no shut the fuck up you got it you got a big bush you got a big bush and that's what i called to tell you sorry you sound like you have a small dong and you're taking it out on the citizens all right all right boys boys, settle down. This is Supervisor Daniels coming back in. We just came to tell you that your new DUI. Supervisor Daniels, I've heard a lot of shit about you and the things that you've done. What, that he likes to trim his bush?

Because you've got the biggest bush anyone's ever seen. This is Officer Malloy, by the way. What Malloy said. I heard he was trimming his bush, and he chopped his tip tip off and his dong's even smaller than it was before. Hey, that's a really personal thing, Mr. Fard. We know everything about you, Daniels. I have to pee into a bag now, sir. He's got to pee into a bag.

It's sad. And you picked on him about that. And that makes you a bully. And we heard about that time when you and all your other cop friends were having a kegger. A kegger? A kegger. And they filled up the keg with dog piss. And you went and egg-standed a full keg of dog piss.

And you thought you were a badass. And you didn't even know you just did dog piss. Is that true? Did that really happen, Supervisor? For the record, it was cat piss. Oh, okay. Not as bad. And you get high off that dick weed. Way to embellish.

Is this Kevin Fard, lawyer? We heard your closing statements suck. Kevin Fard. That's not what your mom said. A Kevin Fard attorney at Dong. Your case is in the shitter. That's what we came to say. Yeah. And by the way, so we can just say. Yeah.

By the way, I'm wearing a wire. So the judge is going to hear all of this. I bet the wire has more inches than your dong. Yeah, well, it's 30 inches long. It's huge. It's a big wire. I wouldn't want a dick that big. What was your name again, Sergeant with the low voice?

Malloy. Detective. Detective Malloy, thank you with the low voice Malloy detective thank you earned that ranking had to break down a lot of lawyers what is that what's Malloy what's the background of that what do you mean like the origins

country wise yeah where's your family from English Irish okay so it checks out checks out Yeah, where's your family from? English-Irish. Okay. So it checks out? Checks out. Do you know where Malloy comes from, smart guy?

No, I'm not. Where's Fard come from, Bush? I don't know where Fard comes from, but I know what it calls on. and i don't think you're ready for that information is it my mom yeah looks like i'm prepared oh you'll never be prepared any other any other questions no that's that's about it dude we hope you're good man yeah are you guys doing your podcast or something or are you just um no this is just for fun yeah we're just in the bathroom

you guys are in the bathroom together mhm are you you know Canseco and McGuire used to get in the bathroom together to do steroids those two big thoroughbreds in the same stall how badass is that? Are you wearing masks?

No, but we're like six feet apart and we've both been being really safe. You're six feet apart in the bathroom though. It's not very good ventilation in the bathroom. I thought you guys were detectives. You could know about that. Alright, well

stick to your jurisdiction, pal or I'll hold you in contempt. And you'll go in a slammer. Alright, well... Stick to your jurisdiction, pal, or I'll hold you in contempt. And you'll go into a slammer. You know what they do to lawyers like you in a slammer, right? Yeah, alright, I'll see you guys later. I'm gonna go down to my friend's house in San Clemente, just a girl I'm seeing

tonight. Are you talking about my mom? Because she's in Missouri. That's what she told you to get you out of her hair. Well, I'm staying at her house in San Clemente. So, jokes on you. Oh, she has multiple houses? Well, I'm glad she's thriving economically

in these difficult times. Well, let me give you, I got news for you. When you jizz on my mom, you say thank you afterwards. Well, I think we can end it on you confirming that i'm that you cheat on your wife when you jizz on my mom you're married kevin it's not cheating if it's your bro's mom

everybody knows that all right all right nice talking enough all right i'll see you on warzone all right should we prank call joe i think one's good yeah you want to well okay if we prank call joe let's really try to get him though okay yeah yeah how should we get him um how should we get him? We could say that we're someone from a news magazine who's investigating the Chris D'Elia story. That would be a funny call. Yeah, that's probably one we should only do in real life. Aaron, you got anything on how we could get Joe? Maybe like, we have a comedy show in Russia.

Yeah, oh, I like that. Yeah. Can you do a good Russian accent? No. Hey, this is Boris. Yeah, try it. Hey, this is Boris. Go for it, that's perfect.

Boris Karloff. Boris Stolichnaya. Stolichnaya is great. Can you read Joe's number? Yep. Boris Karloff. Boris Stolichnaya. Stolichnaya is great. Can you read Joe's number? Yep. Hello, this is Boris Stolichnaya. Hello? Yep.

Hello, this is Boris Stolichnaya. Is this Joe Morici? This is who? Boris Stolichnaya? Is this Joe Morisi? I don't think so. Joe Morisi. Joe.

Comedian Joe Morisi. Yeah, yeah. It's the comedian. We are producing a comedy show in Moscow Russia and we would like you to be the middle act

oh I can't go we would pay you two dollars two dollars alright yeah it's a deal just bring that big hog with you sir yeah okay chad oh crap my colleague is gonna jump on hello is this joe this is officer malloy i mean you're right you guys can't even do good voice no i sound like a cop you're this is officer malloy is this joe maurice officer malloy what precinct are you in i'm with the chicago pd we had a tip about you i heard

you're stealing pepperoni slices from deep dish joints. Is that true? How many slices have you stolen, son? Just tell me the truth. I mean, at least ten. Pepperoni, but there's also hot chardonnay on there as well. Interesting. It's worse than we thought. Well, son, here's the deal. You're going to come into the precinct and you're going to turn yourself in.

Or I swear to God, I'm going to come down on you with the full force that I got behind me. Are you ready for that? Oh, yeah. Yeah, I'm going to come down on you with the full force that I got behind me. Are you ready for that? Yeah, I'm ready for that. Who's all that? We got Supervisor Jenkins here. Was that your last name, son? Mm-hmm. Hello. How's it going? If we find you, we're going to make you eat every pizza slice in town. You're making me hungry talking about all this pizza.

I'm actually trying to figure out with my parents what we're going to get for dinner. Mr. Morisi, this is the deal, okay? We got a warrant out for your arrest, and we are going to come down on you with the full force of the law, okay? Now, I have been a sheriff in Louisiana for 10 years now, and I'm just new to Chicago. I'm trying to make a name for myself, and I'm going to set an example out of you and your giant hog. Do not worry. We'll have a separate cell for your big penis. Do you understand him, son?

Do you understand what we're saying to you right now? Do you understand what's at stake if you don't turn yourself in for all those pizza slices you've been eating? That's not a bad accent, whoever that is. Do you understand, sir, that you want to have dinner with your parents tonight, but pretty soon you're going to have a new daddy? You're going to have a new daddy, son. How's that make you feel? You scared yet?

Because I promise you, when we get a hold of you, son, it's going to be bad news. Bad news for you and everybody you care about. Mm-hmm. We don't play around down here in the bayou. Mm-hmm. We're coming for you. Mm-hmm. And once this boat starts running, there ain't a bank in town shallow enough to stop us.

Mm-hmm. All right, thanks, Sheriff Theo Vaughn. What? Good comeback, sir. I don't think I sent anything like that. Gang, gang, bro. Gang, gang, dude. You know I got that napalm heart, dude.

You sound more like a shot of the buff in Peanut Butter Falcon. Oh, yeah. No, more like a shot of the buff and hot ones oh yeah yeah oh there's some good just good sauce on these uh wings here where you from shite burbank what are you guys doing recording the podcast dude just chilling how you doing good yeah i'm just hanging i'm good yeah i'm just hanging i'm can really go for a beer yeah have a beer dude yeah yeah what are you gonna get i don't know i think i'm gonna get some sushi try to talk my dad into it but he's big on red meat

nice what what kind of beer are you gonna get any kind well if you get sushi are you gonna get like a freaking sapporo well i got some sam's summer ale in the fridge these are pretty good that's good stuff they're a nice like lemony flavor to them nice dude so should be exciting. Cool. Alright, buddy. Alright, well, yeah. Yeah, work on your guys' accents a little bit. I'm not a voice guy. I'll keep working on it, dude. Yeah, it's hard.

I can't do it either. Yeah, no, there's no way you could. No, no. Can you try and do a British accent accent joe is the voice guy yeah will you do a british accent yeah people do my voice i can't do joe will you say will you say hey can i have a cup of tea and a british accent it's not gonna work just try it can i have a cup of tea not bad not bad yeah

alright buddy love you man be good I love you love you bye dude speaking of alcohol people have been saying that uh drunk people specifically the article came from England

but that drunk people aren't good at social distancing interesting pretty obvious right yeah if i think harder yeah yeah i think so yeah there's no drunk that does socially distance although i don't know that's not true there's lonely drunks yeah yeah yeah this was unfair to them what about them what about the people at home who aren't doing it? Yeah. Yeah. That was, like, me most of quarantine. You just getting boozed up by yourself?

Well, when I did, yeah. Yeah. But you were fucking still dialed. Oh, thanks, dude. What about... It is, like, the times I have gotten hammered, though, it is hard. Like, when you eat, sometimes... I'll wake up the next day and you know if i'm with like

one or two or three people i'll be like i got pretty close there really i mean yeah i just totally forget right no completely i mean that's where i was at last week i did i had some friends i didn't go inside but i went to a barbecue they were having and these guys do a ton of blow yeah and i was super worried that they wouldn't be socially distancing i was so proud of them they had a six foot straw over each of them that they were doing coke out of wow yeah so they had one plate of coke and then they had they all had their own straws yeah and they were so long wow that they were totally distanced while doing it yeah is this uh this is randy randy and those guys yeah wow and they're all crossfitters so they got the strong lungs yeah they could inhale and and get it through the straw yeah dude not only were they being safe but they're also probably

helping their lungs while doing blow yeah it's like pranayasa breathing yeah yeah but you get the coke at the end of it yeah that's a little reward yeah nice little chasing the carrot not running from the stick kind of thing yeah dude that literally is the carrot at the end of the stick that you can just suck up your nostril. Yeah, exactly. Dude, good for Randy. I know. This article doesn't talk about people like that who like to get after it, who are hedonistic,

but also understand that there's a greater game at play. Yeah. I got to follow up with him because I was wondering for a while. I was like, how's Randy going to do blow during this? Yeah, with all his homies. Yeah. The tough guy was thinking about it too oh yeah the tough guy was like hey if you're gonna do blow keep your distance everybody long straws and you bring your own straw six footer all right saran wrap it bring it over get it out make sure it's clean we'll lice all the fuck out of thing i made

a deal for some lice all i had to give up a brick of coke for one bottle of Lysol, but it was worth it because, you know, I got 6,000 bricks. Do you Lysol the inside? Of the straw? Mm-hmm. Yeah. And the inside of my nose. Oh, you do?

Yeah, I clean my nose with it. You spray up there? Yeah. And that gives you a nice little pop. That's not for the kids, by the way. Does it get you high? Oh, yeah, brother. Yeah, the tough guy loves it. Wow love being high on lysol yeah i had noticed you've been a little bit you've been i mean you're always like perky and up but you've been like a little bit more

confident than usual yeah yeah it's probably the combo the lysol and the coke yeah from those fucking wicked parties i'm having and everybody's keeping distance it's fucking beautiful you know i pull out the big coke platter. It's a mountain, you know. It's four foot tall lava, kind of volcano kind of looking thing. And then everyone sticks their straws in and we just suck it down

until it's nada. So you guys go in all together? Yeah, we put our straws in at the same time. And then sometimes your straw will kiss somebody else's straw and you give them a look like with your eyes.

You kind of let up and you say, hey, we're kind of connected, huh? Yeah, that's my coke there. Yeah, it's a little bit like the lady and the tramp when they got the spaghetti strap between their mouths yeah yeah it's a fucking beautiful scene makes me cry like fucking crazy when i'm on coke and then uh yeah but it's been fun it's been a really good time people are complaining about you know the

quarantine and whatever but me i'm having a good time with it like i woke up one morning and i connected three of the straws and i put them down from the top of my fucking mansion i'm sorry i shouldn't call it, I shouldn't call it that. People shouldn't call it that but that's what people call it. You got a fucking mansion. I got a fucking mansion. I worked really hard for it. Yeah.

I worked really, really hard. You know, I was a club promoter for 20 years making connections with sheiks and guys like that. People who respected my business hustle, who respected my business acumen and, you know,

now I got, I'm living the life because I worked for it, you know. I wore fresh jeans, nice, you know, new Adidas's and I worked hard for this life. Not that I'm into fashion but it I worked for it. I wore fresh jeans, nice new Adidas. And I worked hard for this life. Not that I'm into fashion, but it's important to look presentable.

And so, yeah, I hook up the three straws and I do it at the top of my three-story mansion. And then I fucking sucked up a shot of Coke from fucking right in the morning. Just put it right in there. Yeah, it's great stuff, man. For breakfast? For breakfast. Breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Most important meals of the day.

All of them. I don't like when people differentiate what's the most important meal of the day yeah to me they're all important yeah yeah so let's not pick one and make the other ones feel insecure that's not the tough guy's way yeah will you do some coke with me right now i mean we're about to sign a merger what are you talking about yeah we're about to merge yeah i mean i think you're a great candidate from what you've told me, but after we sign this, I will. You know how I sign mergers, right? By merging our noses on the same plate of Coke. Let's do it.

Let's hit it. Oh, man, you're a great guy. S&P 5000, dude. I am fired up. Oh, I'm in're a great business guy. S&P 5000, dude. I am fired up. Oh, I'm in the green, baby. You know what I call Coke? Coke's an IPO. It hasn't gone public yet, but it's an instant power offering.

That's what I'm giving you. Yeah. And it pays dividends every quarter, immediately, right into the dance floor. Breathe, baby. Can you play some Tiesto right now? Yes, sir. I'm really going to play it. I'm really going to.

You know I'm friends with Tiesto, right? You're friends with Tiesto? I always say, whenever we're partying together, I think, Tiesto, I think it's time for a siesto. Let's take a nap. And then he goes, for real? And I go, no. Time for a bump. This is a good song. Tiesto I think it's time for a siesto Let's take a nap And then he goes For real And I go No Time for a bump Um

This is a good song Is YouTube gonna make us Take down our podcast If we put this up there I think they Play like 15 seconds Yeah 15 seconds Is all we get

It's a lifetime Soccer balls and shit In the music video I fucking love it Alright that's 15 seconds Dude did you also see that they found atlantis what they found atlantis no way yes dude dude that's funny because i've literally been i've been listening to a bunch of podcasts from graham hancock talking about you know the lost civilization right but fill me in dude pyramids

discovered underwater off coast of cub of Cuba might be Atlantis. 6,000-year-old city immersed in deep waters. Pyramids, complicated structuring. They use sophisticated sonar to get to see it. Some kind of megaliths you'd find on Stonehenge or Easter Island. All those words may be making sense. Wow. That's awesome. Yeah. Some of these structures may be making sense. Wow. That's awesome.

Yeah. Some of these structures may be as long as 400 meters wide and as high as 40 meters. Sounds big, dude. I believe it, man. You know,

like I've been listening to a bunch of Graham Hancock Stokers. Check out his Joe Rogan podcast if you want to be wowed. But he talks about any with his colleague uh colleague randall carlson they talk about how you know human history is probably a lot different than what's being reported right now like the you know like like they say like for example they found evidence of a huge asteroid impact like 12 000 years ago which probably decimated all of earth and so what they're arguing is that there's evidence because we haven't looked in the oceans and stuff and we're starting to find stuff like this we haven't looked in the oceans we haven't looked in the amazon too much lots of evidence for an advanced civilization prior to that so archaeologists

are saying like around that time we were primarily hunter-gatherers you know freaking neanderthals yeah sounded like a good life yeah actually a lot more leisure than people anticipate and easier to intermittent fast it's just like one meal a day totally yeah they like invented that yeah um it's pretty wild and um but he's arguing that like there's a huge colossal event that led to like basically almost our extinction and so we started over like we didn't all die but like all civilization was lost in like right a weekend. Damn, dude. Yeah. And so like there's, you know, ocean rose and fell and now it's all fucked up. It's crazy how quick it can be gone.

Yeah. You know? Yeah. I mean, dude, I think about it with us right now. You know, you work towards all these things. We had a big project in the works. It's on hiatus now. Yeah.

Because of the roans. Yeah. You know what I mean? Things come in. Sometimes. That's life. Yeah. The universe isn't always paying attention to what's important to you and what you got on the docket yeah i mean so you kind of have to be okay with it like i think that red-eared kipling like can you build up a big fortune and can you let it ride in a one roll of the dice and then

be okay with whatever the outcome yeah and it's like it's tough can you yeah but if you can that's pretty cool yeah Yeah. Yeah. Well, I think going back to the spiritual outing and all that kind of stuff, that's where you kind of think, oh, maybe it might not look like the best thing right now. Right. But in hindsight, it'll look like the best thing that could have ever happened. Good can come from this. Yeah. And the more we go along, I feel like we see that see that yeah absolutely totally i'm feeling good yeah dude i wonder about like do

you see that thing about john kavanaugh i think posted at first conor mcgregor's trainer but i don't think he wrote it but he saw it somewhere that's where i caught it is um if you were born in 1900 what the world feels like to you because you had world war one spanish influenza yeah great depression world war ii korean war cuban missile crisis civil rights movement and then vietnam and assassination of some heavy duty dudes in the 60s like yeah mlk jr and jfk um yeah it's like you know crazy stuff's always happening yeah i mean this is crazy but it's always happening. Yeah. I mean, this is crazy, but it's always happening. Yeah, I was reading about the Stoics this morning. Epictetus, Seneca, Marcus Aurelius. Epictetes?

Epictetes, yeah. Nice. He's a beast. Nice. Just throwing that out there. Nick George came up with Epictetes, by the way, too. I've got to MLA him on that. What up, Nick?

And they're talking about how human beings have gone through these huge events throughout a lifetime, but they're our ancestors. We come from that. Right. So we have that durability in our blood, in our DNA. It's in there. Yeah. If we just look past social media and the comfort of AC, we'll find it.

Yeah. You know, that's why you're doing kettlebells. Yeah. You're finding your durability. That's why I hop in the cold shower. I find the durability. Yeah. That's why I freaking, you know, flex sometimes.

Living in my mom's comfy house helps, but I'm definitely trying to do some stuff to bolster on top of it. Yeah. Just getting the sun and lift kettlebells. I think that counters any kind of familial comfort. Yeah. Is that right? For sure. Thanks. Dude, also, did you see this other thing that there's a strange neurological condition where people are blind, but they can actually navigate rooms that they've never been in. That maybe they can see things, but the visual information is just not being conveyed to their consciousness. But they're subconsciously able to still move as if they could see. It's like sonar. Yeah. And it kind of explains Stevie Wonder.

Because I don't know if you've seen the Stevie Wonder videos, but there's like a lot of videos of him like like borderline like catching a basketball that got tossed at him like there's a lot of evidence that it like feels like he can actually see yeah but i think it's this i don't think he's faking it i think i think he's got this blind sight they call it yeah yeah um yeah like like daredevil yeah daredevil's real daredevil's real except for like yeah well sean said he saw him really yeah sean dude yeah classic yeah he's like like he called me he's like dude i straight up saw daredevil what do you say about him he just said like he was at a bar and some dude came in with like all red leather and just like sort of looking tough and with like a you know it wasn't eddie murphy from wearing his delirious outfit from the stand-up special delirious no no um i asked him

that though for sure good i asked him that straight up top and he's like definitely not dude because this guy had like a red sort of leather do rag on oh so the top part yeah and he's like that's daredevil and i'm like i'm sold that's awesome dude also did you see this thing the streetlight effect i never heard of this thing it's a type of observational bias that people only search for something when it is easiest to look for and it comes from a policeman sees a drunk man searching for something under a streetlight and that's what the drunk has lost and he says his keys and they both look under the streetlight together so they only ever look for something where it's easiest to look.

What does that mean? Do we find that in our own lives? Yeah, I think we have a natural tendency towards that and you've got to fight it. Yeah, I'm trying to think how I do that in my own life but I don't know how. I think if you're aware of it, then you'll start to recognize it. Oh, maybe now that I'm looking for it, like that Rondo nodding thing.

Now that I'm looking for it, I'll see when I'm doing it. Yeah. I'm trying to think too. When do I do that? I'm trying to think what rocks do I need to turn over that I've just been totally ignoring. Yeah. I mean, I surf at some spots because the parking's better. Yeah.

That is a big part of it though. I went to Malibu last night night it took me like an hour to get into the parking lot yeah because the guy had to go on lunch break so everybody had to work the machine without him and no one could figure it out who is it oh it's all things comedy nice um my i can't vibrate on my phone anymore oh really yeah like broke oh that's a bummer it only rings interesting yeah aaron what do you think about that um well yeah it's easier to find keys under a street light um i don't know it's hard right to extrapolate out into the bigger world i know it's true but i can't i can't see it because maybe i'm not looking maybe I'm only looking where the light is

are they talking about comfort? like you go towards comfort? I don't know I think it's almost like it's like we only talk about what they tell us to talk about what already has the most light and energy on it and then we just focus on those things

maybe there's other things we should be focusing on but there's no attention on them so we don't think we should be looking in that direction yeah like asteroidal impacts yeah like asteroids yeah and that's actually a new thing that we've been thinking about it's like we 2020 has been throwing so much stuff at us we're like what's next and we're like probably an asteroid yeah and then so tell them what your plan was i thought this was so genius huge foam pit build a massive foam massive like mondo to catch the asteroid yeah so legit because like dude i mean how does anyone brace a fall foam pit you know you just take it if you're gonna ride dirt bikes if you're gonna practice a double back what do you use a foam pit yeah because like i guarantee

that that dirt bike falling into the foam pit is probably half as heavy as an asteroid yeah so if we just expand the foam pit times two have some scientists gauge where it's gonna hit you know they're like all right it's gonna hit right here um in to hit. They're like, all right, it's going to hit right here in Venice. And you're like, all right, let's put the foam pit there. Maybe get Rob Dyrdek on the case. Yeah. T-PUS. That's Travis Pastrana.

I breathed it all ugly. I like it, though. Thanks. We get Matt Hoffman. We get Tony Hawk. Let's get all extreme athletes to save the world. Yep. That's such a cool version of Armageddon.

Mm-hmm. Just Tony Hawk just like skating on the asteroid. Yeah. Let me ask you this. Yes. Before it hits, are you going to jump into the foam pit? To like test it? Yeah, just like, you know, just to huck some fat ears oh for sure yeah i mean

if it's a veil yeah i don't want to distract the dudes from handling a higher priority business but i mean if it's a veil i'm definitely going to go in there with an e-scooter and just see what see if i can you know 450 splash it gainer yeah um you know well you've been you've been working on that 360 tail whip for months now yeah how's that coming along slow yeah i saw your angles are really torn up yeah it's it's been really hard i'm not my proprioception is crap i wish i did gymnastics when i was a kid but i can't look backwards i just gotta always forward yeah dude actually you know we got a hit right now it's time to service our corporate overlords we gotta do an ad

oh yeah Aaron slickly emailed it to me to both of you actually oh you did what a legend I like that move Aaron but Aaron never hesitate to jump in dude oh okay yeah your voice is yeah calming and reassuring to the masses they love you aaron i do

want to say one thing about the streetlight thing oh cool i'm just glad that in that scenario the cop doesn't beat the fuck out of that drunk guy yeah i know even even when i was playing officer maloy i was like this all has a different tinge now oh totally i'm re-watching justified with my wife oh dude one of the best yeah it's so great but it's like uh now i'm not so cool with him shooting all these people bro you just made me change my one of my quotes from that yeah yeah what's what season are you guys on oh we're just like literally just started a couple like last night or night before season one and two are my faves I know people like three a lot too, but I think one and two are my faves

When yeah, whenever whenever Boyd switches like the switch flips and Boyd is like your favorite character on the show. It's like That's really cool. Yeah That was a great great show. I mean dude Elmore Leonard to me is best one of the best writers of all time I read his shit all day uh rest in power brother that's how they say it now they said do you like that that people say rest in power instead of peace now it's kind of cool yeah it's more empowering yeah sounds like a better way to be dead yeah yeah yeah because you're doing stuff yeah you're just thriving ah yeah peace is a little the peace is great nothing better than peace nothing i want more than peace but it's a little bit like uh it's like not active yeah or though maybe maybe it is all right

it's philosophical i guess uh what up dudes i'm interrupting this podcast let you know once again that we are brought to you by Manscaped. Manscaped, thank you so much for keeping our trims pubed, for looking after our hogs, for making sure that the shaft, the bellend, the scrotum, and the pubes are looking well, fresh, clean. Because, guys, I mean, let's be honest. guys, I mean, let's be honest. When you go into a business meeting and you want to close the deal, what do you do? You shave your face unless you are a beard guy. But if you're from the fifties, you shave your face. Okay. If you're one of the mad men, you shave your face. If you're Don Draper, you shave your face. And you know what they did not show in Mad Men?

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Please check it out. Anyone can roll this on. You want pain relief, and you want it now. So use code godeep at omaxhealth.com. Okay. Love it, dude. Yeah. Big update, too. The guy whose poem I read last week who's got the corona he's

feeling all right so that's good yeah oh that's good but i also dude my uncle got it and it was he was fucked up he said the pain he couldn't even describe the pain he said really yeah how old is he he's he's like 50 but he's jacked. Yeah. He's like legit jacked. Yeah. I mean, age is a huge factor. It's probably the biggest factor. Scary. Yeah.

All right, questions? Yeah. All right. From Ben. Chad, you're jacked and hot. Wow. Dude, thank you so much. And then he said, I'm smoking a fat doink watching that with maddie

matheson jt you're jacked and you're hot what dude nice wow dude thank you ben dude ben legend you're hot dude he's smoking doinks yeah dude what a nice guy dude keep smoking doinks ben and keep sending in compliments that's's cool. Beat Chicks. What up, my dogs? I'm writing to your legends about a serious topic. Beat Chicks. My friend and I consider ourselves to be first team all Beat Chicks. Whether it be on the dance floor, busting out our epic moves, or on Snapchat, we just

love them all. Any advice on how to make advances with these wonderful women during these trying times? What? I think beat is like a synonym for like not attractive. And he's saying he loves those people. And I think he thinks like he's like a virtuous person or like not superficial because of that. But I would say the fact that you're designating them that probably kind of reduces whatever charm you think you're getting out of it. So I would mature up a bit, bud.

And I would not fetishize it as much so he said there he's into beat chicks yeah he like just like loves them on the dance floor or on snapchat we just love them all any advice on how to make advances with these wonderful women during these trying times i'd go maybe maybe get a canoe and just like go paddle for a little bit and just be with your own dome and just see you know just get in touch with the water and maybe then you'll call them just ladies and not yeah anything else yeah the canoe is a great idea yeah paddle for an hour yeah dude paddle for like eight hours yeah the longer the better yeah yeah he needs a long meditation paddle to another country dude paddle to china yeah

yeah they treat people really well over there i'm pissed at china dude yeah they're doing forced sterilization they got concentration camps look i know we're no picnic over here i'm not like a rah rah american number one sort of person. But yeah, China. I know. Aaron, do you think people are giving China enough guff? Or do you think our problems are so bad here that it's like just focus up on what's in front of you? Well, there's certainly that, but I mean...

But I feel like both sides deserve it. Certainly, yeah. I mean, they've always had human rights issues over there. What were you going to say, Chad? I think people are scared. Yeah. I mean, China's, you know, their government is ruthless. Yeah.

And you don't want to go to war with China, which is like, that's the issue. Because they just deny it. I mean, I don't read anything just deny it i mean i don't know i don't read anything so about that stuff so i don't know i don't read enough about it either but what i do read i'm like i'm like this is happening yeah now hey dudes i like new zealand new zealand's killing it um hey dude so over the fourth of july i was playing beer pong with my girlfriend and she didn't know any of the rules. It's becoming pretty clear that we don't share the same values. I told her we could win the game on the rebuttal and she said we're not in a debate.

How do I break it off with her? How do you do that? Yeah, it's tough. I mean, you do have to break up. Yeah, she thinks you're debating when you're really playing Beirut. You know know it's I don't know man I would maybe just like

tell her like hey I don't want you to be someone you're not but the person I want to be with like understands how important it is to keep your elbow behind the line, understands, you know, that, you know, it balances too, and just kind of gets things that are, you know, more culturally specific to the way I grew up. Yeah.

That's valid. Yeah. And I think on top of that, you know, go over the rules with her of the game see how she responds and then after that just throw this out there just be like so die high right die high and if she knows what you're talking about then maybe you can reconcile you do you know i did overreact yeah yeah just say die high and if she but i was gonna say if she has no idea what you're talking about just say hey i think we party differently and that's cool but you know it seems like we both want different things.

You could be like, hey, babe. Stryer just made a wizard stick. What do you think about that? She'll be like, he's a wizard? You'll be like, I think we should see other people. Yeah. What phrase do you like? What word do you like more for a male magic man?

Do you like warlock or wizard more? Warlock. Yeah. Yeah. Warlock. Warlock's so fucking sweet. So sweet. Oh, so sweet.

I'm a warlock. What's up, Stoke Lords? It's Cody. My friend Asher has been in the bag lately, and it seems as though he is nearly unstoppable. The problem that lies in this is myself. I can't see myself to be stoked for him. I find myself being jealous of him for being so deep in his bag.

He can do no wrong lately. I come to you guys hoping for guidance in these truly not stoked days. Is there any way you guys can help me raise my stoke for Asher? I'm pleading with you guys. I just want to support my fellow brethren. I don't understand what he's talking about. I don't know what in the bag means either. I just mean he's... Well, I don't know. Maybe we shouldn't.

I was going to say let's just pretend it means he's killing it. Is that what he means? I'll look it up. So, yeah, I mean, I know what it means as good as secured. I know what the idiom means. Like, dude dude it's in the bag yeah I'd say that's it first off be kind to yourself my dog jealousy it's natural you know we can all succumb to jealousy but I get it really bad, but you just have to remember there's enough to go around for everyone.

The pie is big enough for all, and you will have your time to shine as long as you take your mind off focusing on what Asher's doing. Focus on what you're doing. Focus on your path and be like, wow, I'm so glad I have a buddy like Asher who is progressing in his life so much. That's awesome.

But that's inspiring me to get on my path, to conquer my mission, to do what I want to do and enjoy my life to the fullest and really build an excellent life for myself. So I would say just recognize that it's a natural human thing, but take the attention away from Asher because it will not serve you. Put the attention back on what you're doing and have fun. Yeah, I totally agree, man. I think the more happy you can be for other people's success, the more success you'll get. And I don't say this from a place of like up on the mountaintop,

like, dude, I'm looking at you eye to motherfucking eye. Like I've been doing CrossFit workouts with my bros, and they crush me. And it got to a point at like day four of the, of the workouts where I was like, dude, maybe I cheat so I can try and win this one. You know what I mean? So when you, that's what happens when you get envious of other people,

uh, besting you or doing well, it, it's not going to affect them. You're going to start to make choices that don't make you feel good about yourself. You know? Cause I can't live my life being like, I'm the kind of guy who cheats to win. That sucks. I don't want to be that guy. And so it's a real tough thing to learn how to do, but you've got to just try and divorce yourself

from his results and your results. You know what I mean? Because I know you love your bro, too. I love my fucking bros. It happens with Chad, too. It happens all the time. So the more I can be happy for Chad, the more I can be happy for myself, you know? Yeah, same goes here.

I mean, it's something you learn to, it's like, I think it's a skill being able to resist. Yeah. Because, yeah, when you do learn to be happy for other people, it makes you feel better. And then you'll learn that when you turn it into a healthy competitive drive that that i think that's the most beneficial thing because when you when you get angry and jealous and you and you just want to like you know do better than this person whatever often it the results are negative yeah it doesn't work yeah it doesn't work like being jealous yeah and being a hater it doesn't work people can feel it yeah and you can feel it in yourself too you're

like i'm like reaching for things yeah like i'm trying too much yeah it's i even was like do i need to work out with my friends less and i was like no that's not the answer i was like it's a spiritual malady in myself yeah i need to build that's what kind of motivated me with the ghosts and spirits and stuff yeah it's like there's more than what's in front of me yeah i mean there's bigger energies around yeah but i get though dude they're jack dudes they're fucking jacked bro it's tough it's tough i know and they're so hot like at times and i love hot dudes you know never want to backtrack on that but at times i'm like i can feel invisible i'm like i'm like why would anyone notice me you know and that's where a lot of my anger came from when i was young yeah i could be a real dick because of that stuff like overcompensating

and dominating and it was like just not the vibe i wanted to exist and can i tell you something dude yeah you're seen bro i see you don't no don't look at me bro bro don't look at me dog it's too much thank you plus it is how imagine if you were working out with not jack dudes i wouldn't be motivated i'd hate it yeah yeah it wouldn't be it wouldn't be uh it wouldn't be enlarging yeah yeah yeah it's like more buffet yeah average of the five dudes you could wear the most and if your boys have huge delts brother yours are gonna flare up yeah and then you'll be the kind of guy that people want to have a smoothie with that's good stuff what's up lords of stowtown my name is derrick i'm kind of heated at the moment

because i saw my younger brother's hog and it's a hammer i'm average i asked my dad why he was favored genetically and he deflected the blame yeah how do i deal with this betrayal as a side note my balls are bigger so i guess that's a plus oh good dude i think you guys are even steven then yeah people underestimate the balls yeah dude i mean you could float stuff with your balls uh you can probably produce more jizz overestimate the balls. Yeah, dude. I mean, you could float stuff with your balls. You can probably produce more jizz. You know, you can really just...

It probably contributes more to your bulge. Yep. And also, like we were just saying, be happy for your brother's hog. Yep. You know, maybe go out to him and be like, dude, I'm pumped on your penis. All right.

Should we get into it? Yeah. Chad, who's your beef of the week? My beef of the week is, and we've covered this before, Toby at the skate park. Oh, do that little shit. Yeah, he's like this little nine-year-old kid. And, you know, I've been get back into skating a little bit you know like i'm not i'm you know all i can do is pretty much just like roll around like i have a carver skateboard you know it's sort of like you know a mini longboard you know more like the surf skate so it's like i'm not like

busting kickflips out there i'm not you know doing grinds and all that kind of stuff i'm kind of just rolling around the bowl rolling on the ramps you know just doing little turns just having fun and like i like to crank some you know it's been kind of empty because of corona so i was just cranking some tunes i like to skate to katie perry i like to skate to california Yeah, one of the best songs ever. That whole album is just bangers. Fires me up so much. But Toby and his crew,

I think there's Dylan and then little Stevie. Maxwell. Maxwell. Oh, dude. Fucking Maxwell. Yeah, he's a cunt. Sorry.

No, he is, though. Yeah. Yeah, they're a cunt. Sorry. No, he is, though. Yeah. Yeah, they're all, like, nine years old. And they just start clowning on me in the bowl. They're like, you can't even drop in. You're listening to Katy Perry. All you do is just roll around the bowl. You suck.

I'm like... I was like, shut up. Did you say that? said yeah I just said I was like just just shut up Toby that's good you said it it's good you say shut your face Maxwell piece of shit yeah kids are mean dude yeah they like it's like you wonder sometimes do you like do you like hurting me

do you like it does it make you feel strong I don't know dude dude fucking Dylan dude Dylan like I thought Dylan was on my side dude because like he came

and he gave me like a head nod but then every time he gets with his squad of like you know like toby and maxwell he started he's like i don't know he tried to like moon me fair weather friends dude yeah they're they're they're with you when there's no you know social pressure to be against you and then the moment there is they take the path of least resistance. That Hulu show, Normal People, the first episode was about that. I couldn't even watch it because it was just crushing me. Yeah. It was crushing me.

He didn't, but, like, they were just like, dude, like, and then E.T. came on, one of my favorite songs, and I wanted to listen to the drop, the chorus. And they were just yelling, they were like, you suck, you suck, like out of the bowl. Like, listen to Kay Perry, you suck. And I was like, I don't know, it just hurt a lot. And I just want to say to those kids, fuck you.

Say it. Say it again. Fuck you. Say it again. Fuck you, Toby. Say it. Fuck you, Toby. Say it. Fuck you, Toby. That's powerful, my dog.

Thank you. That was strong. That's what's up. Skate park kids can suck it. My fucking dog. Thanks, man. Thanks for getting me through that. That was really cathartic yeah they're

little demons um they'll learn not because like we'll do anything i'm those kids would fuck us up but because i think they'll learn compassion just because they'll have to they'll remember what it felt like when they were cruel later in life and oh. Yeah. They won't like it. Fuck. Aaron, who's your beef of the week? My beef of the week is people in public deciding to just be fucking mean. Toby. Well, yeah, there's Toby, certainly. But I just saw a video today of a guy in a pickup truck.

He passes by another car that has the BLM flag on the back and it says it on the side of the car oh yeah this blonde hair dude the beefcake blonde hair jacked yeah i saw that guy yeah mr mr perfect from the wwf the pink the pink hulk is what people are calling him oh really yeah he was pretty sunburned yeah uh yeah it's just like fuck you like what do, what are you even doing? Like, just live your life. Like, if you disagree with someone politically, you don't have to yell at them and curse at them. And who cares who you're voting for? Like, just, man, just chill the fuck out.

Like, there's a lot of other shit going on right now. Well, you know what? They make anyone who disagrees, they make their whole side look bad when they act like that you know what i mean they're they're representative of the worst qualities and then it makes it you know and you're like yeah that's what that it makes you trust your baser assumptions yeah yeah i mean you know everything's things are tense out there right now i get it but like that's the re that's the reason to chill the fuck out because you're not improving the situation you're all and you're only going to get fucking found out and fired and all this nonsense

that just happens like because internet sleuths will figure yeah figure your stuff out and figure out where you are and what your name is. Dude, my beef is similar. My beef of the week is with Mike Perry. He's a UFC fighter. I like to watch him fight. He's a heavy-handed 170-pounder. He's got a quirky personality. He's most known because he had his ex-girlfriend corner him in his fight.

And she's not like an MMA person. And then in his newest fight his head trainer was his girlfriend his new girlfriend and so he was kind of saying look i don't need a trainer he's like i just need my girlfriend to put ice on me and believe in me and i know how to fight and it was cool you know he's like this like diy kind of like uh you know bucking convention uh type of maverick and he's. So it all kind of fits. But then video came out of him at a bar, you know, and he was pissed off. He thought some guy touched him. He was being super aggro, super alpha, very like, you know, just like, look,

nobody fuck with me. I'll fuck you up. And then this old guy was like, you know, being intense, but just being like, dude, you're being crazy crazy like you're being an asshole and and the old guy got a little in front of his skis and kind of challenged mike and then mike knocked him out and uh and you know it's just totally unnecessary and i love a tough dude i love a dude who can fight i greatly admire people who who fight i think it takes a lot of courage and i and i hope that there's a lot of honor in it you know respect the guy you're fighting and that you use your strength prudently and intelligently and that you're compassionate.

It was a bummer to see him just drop some old dude. He said a bunch of really ugly stuff. He was dropping N-bombs. He's a white dude. He's done that in the past. It was kind of like a Richie Incognito thing where he's so badass and so wild that people don't really call him on it.

And I don't know, just the whole thing just bummed me out. Because it's like with MMA fighters, we already think of them. People, I don't, but people think of them as kind of like being thuggish, you know? So I always love it when it's like someone like Anderson Silva or George St. Pierre where they really treat it like it's like a more like it's like a more than just fighting it's like a a spiritual thing where you you're like a samurai and you're honorable and you fight with a code and so just bum me out dude i was like come on mike like don't i don't know and then the hard thing with fighting is and then you want that stupid shit almost makes you want to watch them fight more because then you hope they get their ass kicked you know and so i'm i kind of feed the machine but it's uh yeah it just bummed me out so you're my beef of the week mike perry nice and if i see you i was thinking about i was like would i say this

to mike perry's face and i'm like i hope i would i think i will yeah i keep it respectful though and then sure if he raised hands i I'd be like, I take it back. Everything I said, erase it. You are right. I kind of get the logic of having your ex-girlfriend in the corner, though, because what would make you want to fight more than going back to your corner and seeing the person you broke up with? Right, right. Get so fired up.

Well, actually, once he broke up with her, he discarded her for a new girl to be his cornerman. Oh. Yeah. Whoever his current girlfriend is is his corn new girl to be his corner man. Oh. Yeah. Whoever his current girlfriend is, is his corner man right now. Or corner woman, rather. It's pretty crazy when you're watching the fight and you just see his girlfriend putting ice on him. And you're like, wow, never seen that before. Chad, who's your babe of the week?

My babe of the week is the Big Bang. Oh, nice, dude. Kind of the original babe. Yeah. I've been really into physics lately. Nice. And, dude, the Big Bang, it's just like, dude, that's the mother of all babes. That's the, yeah, it is the mother of all babes.

Yeah. That's the babe mom because that's why we're here. Yeah. The Big Bang's created existence and dude thank you so much for your you know massively atomic explosion melt dude milf i'd like to thank dude yeah you know and you just started out just like smaller than the pick of a prick of a pin and you just freaking created this huge universe that's still expanding and we don't know what's going on.

There's like black holes and there's crazy planets. There's probably aliens and there's, you know, all types of stuff. There's just molecules going haywire. And then you created us, you these conscious aware beings you know with varying dong sizes and it's just like you know and then there's yeah and it's just um dude thank you gracias yeah for sure for sure i don't know i always bring dongs in there but i just felt i had to say it i never noticed yeah sounds right yeah aaron who's your babe of the week uh i got two oh let me uh find one of them real quick i just want to make sure

i get it right okay so my first babe of the week i'm sure you guys are familiar it's mostly an orange county chain but it's uh it's a little fast food joint called raising canes i've never been there is it good it's really good all they do it's kind of like the uh chick-fil-a model with less religiosity i think nice but we'll find out um they are a chicken just chicken tenders restaurant they literally have four things on the menu and it's like do you want the four piece or the three piece and they have like lemonade and iced teas sweet teas and stuff like that and everything you get comes with texas toast what's texas toast again is that with an egg it's just really no it's just really thick toast oh okay thick um it's not even garlicky per se but i don't know it's just delicious it's a it's a great place to go i always try to hit it as i'm driving to san diego because it's usually right

off the freeway in orange county i think there's a couple different locations i think it's usually right off the freeway in Orange County. I think there's a couple different locations. I think it's named after a dog. I think Cain was the dog. So I don't really understand the naming reference. Raising Cains. But, I don't know, it's great. There's always a line at the drive-thru. It's always really fast because you can only get three things. I got a question, though.

Yeah. What kind of sauces? Ooh, that's right. though yeah what kind of sauces oh that's right there's um it's like uh it's almost like a thousand island ranch sauce it's really good it's really good sauce that comes with it it's very specific to them yes please yeah yeah yeah dude chad isn't oh this is chad got frozen into a perma stove dudeove, dude. He's a sauce king, dude. That sounds good, man.

Dude, Aaron, when you were talking about fast food, I was tempted just to zing you to be like, it's trash. Whoa. Just because. Oh, because they hit it out. Yes, dude. Fuck your place, bro. You don't respect our joint? That's what's up, dude.

Dude, nice babe. Canes? I'm going to go eat it and make videos of me spitting it out dude this is garbage dude this is straight garbage guarantee you won't it's really good yeah oh man dude we should have a big powwow we'll do a food exchange we'll bring you in and out we'll get your fries well done and uh you'll give us some raising canes it sounds nice dude yeah yeah and my uh my second babe of the week is a twitter account that just popped up in july uh it's a parody account it's called jurassic park to go at jurassic park to the number two go oh i've seen this jurassic park

updates yeah i've been retweeting them constantly there's just so funny especially in the time of corona and corporations having to um make statements about their own flaws or whatever and then this and then jurassic park it's just i don't know who's running it it's probably just some comedy writers um that's great they give a lot of that-outs in their bio. But yeah, if you love the movie Jurassic Park, it's just really funny tweets they've been putting out. That's awesome. Yeah, the Disneyland one is good, too.

Have you seen that one? No. It's the same thing, but I followed that one, but I should follow Jurassic Park, too. Oh, that sounds good. Yeah. There's also a really funny one for the LAPD, which is basically... That's hilarious.

We're sorry. We'll get back to beating you later or something. Yeah. It's just really funny. Parody accounts. My babe of the week is... Oh, this dude. So I played a round of golf with some dudes like a week ago.

And afterwards, we're like, hey, let's grab a photo. And this guy volunteered. He said, hey, I'll take a picture of you guys. And then he took one. He's like, you know what, fellas? Actually, do you guys want to move over here and we'll get the water in the background? And then we moved. And he's like, that's great.

And I'm like, oh, thanks, dude. And he's like, actually, you know what? Do you guys want to move over here and we'll get the sunset in the background. And then we moved and he's like, that's great. And I'm like, oh, thanks, dude. And he's like, actually, you know what? Do you guys want to move over here and we'll get the sunset in the background? And I was like, yeah. And then we did that one. And then he was like, hey, do you guys want to do one where you guys do like a fun pose

and maybe jump at the same time? And we're like, yeah, fuck yeah. And so the guy just like super menschy just was like taking all these different angles and all these different poses and they turned out great. And I was like, what a dude. And I think he was honestly just spirited by the fact that he was around other people and he got to contribute a little bit yeah and i was like look you know it's from the movie

primary colors you know the uh john travolta's playing a version of bill clinton he's talking to a guy he's struggling in a donut shop and the guy's not the smartest guy well this guy was smart i'm not saying no comp there but like he's talking this guy in a donut shop he's not that smart but the guy just wants to do good. And he's like, and Jack Stanton, that's the name of John Travolta's career, goes, see him? Just aching to do good. And I'm like, yeah, a lot of people are.

They're just aching to do good. And this guy was. He contributed a lot to our well-being with those photos. So thank you, brother. That's awesome. Chad, who's your legend of the week? Dude, my legend of the week is Marcus Aurelius. Beast, bro.

I've been reading a lot of stoicism during the pandemic. And, dude, nothing fires me up more. I was forcing myself to read this book about film editing. And I was dying you know and eventually at 150 pages i was like you know i was like thank you edward norton for that recommendation you fucking nerd yeah um and i started reading stoicism and i was like yes this is what i love stoicism you know i'm reading ryan holidays the dailyic, who we interviewed on the pod. And he quotes, like, Marx, Aurelius, Epictetus, Seneca.

And it just fires me up because, like, Stoicism is just like, you know, it talks about how you can, the discipline of, you know, not letting outside events, you know, determine your happiness or, you know, affect your happiness. It's like, don't pay your mind to what's going on out there because what you can control is in here and you're done. And so, you know, pay attention to your thoughts. Do good. Fight for justice. You know, progress in your life. Don't look to outside things or like future events to make you happy you know it's like when i get this promotion when i get uh this dog when i get in and out i'll be happy now you can be happy right now because you have the power and uh and they're just doing good

you know it's like when you when you live a life to do good you feel good yep it's so simple and then we're just so we're always pulled by these impulses to like you know get you know just indulge in like too much booze and i have that all the time and then like of like jealousy and like all that kind of stuff and it's like but when you start doing good when you start giving other people dude that's like the best high you could get yeah and then you just walk around the world you're just like i feel good you know so if you fight hard for a day at the end of the day you'll like yourself yeah that too that too whenever i force myself to work like most the day at the end of the day i feel feel so good. But whenever I'm like, I'm going to have a lazy day.

I'm going to watch Simpsons. I never feel good. So, yeah, that's what's up. It's true. Yeah, I appreciate you for it. Oh, thanks, Doug. You too. Who's your legend of the week?

We spoke a little bit about it earlier, but my legend of the week is star, actor handsome funny guy timothy oliphant oliphant yeah he's he's a crusher dude yeah if you didn't know he came out here in la to start uh he was a stand-up in the mid 90s i think yeah uh he came up with like a tell and louie and stuff like that yeah yeah yeah and then just kind of stumbled into acting and he's been amazing ever since and i'll just pull up a few of his credits but i mean like deadwood obviously justified as the killer follow-up go go he's amazing and go he's like so menacing and cool horrible and then he it completely turns on you and you just love him by the end of the movie that girl next door girl next door yeah oh yeah yeah he was a bad guy in a lot of movies early on um even the santa clarita diet like he got to be like more goofy and weird like yeah he's

kind of like a doting husband or something yeah yeah but just kind of yeah and then in the middle of a zombie kind of outbreak it's it really good. Is that what that's about? Yeah. Yeah. I'm a huge fan of his. I love that guy. Dude, I heard just for fun he did sports coverage on a radio station. Yeah, when he was already a movie star, he was like,

yeah, I'll just do you guys a sports coverage. That's cool. Yeah, for fun. He's hilarious, too. Yeah, he's got great comic chops. Looks like he's going to be on the next season of Mandalorian, too. Oh, yeah. He played himself in The Good Place.

How much fun is that? Yeah, he's awesome. He's in Once Upon a Time in Hollywood, which we all love. He always makes fun of actors for being pretentious, too. Yeah. He trashed Jim Carrey for Jim and Andy. He went on a late night show. Did he?

Yeah, and he was just like... I forget. He kind show. Did he? Yeah. And he was just like, I forget, he kind of did it as a bit, but he was just like, oh yeah, do you know like acting is like the most serious, important thing in the world?

Yeah. He kind of takes like a more casual but serious approach to it. Yeah. Oh, he's on the new season of Fargo, which hasn't come out yet. Wow.

That'll be good. Yeah. That gets me really excited. Yeah. Dude, he's so good. I think Justified is kind of, I so good i think justified is kind of i think raylon givens is kind of the part he was born to play and i heard with that he would take the script

and he would just cross out half his lines like he was like i don't need to say half this shit really yeah that's like he was like give me less i'll just play it cool give me less that's cool yeah that's a beast right there. Yeah, yeah. And I think he's married to his high school or college sweetheart, too. I think so, yeah. What a beast. He's great.

He's the best. Timmy, dude. Timmy Oliphant. Dude, my legend of the week is my buddy Tom Hall. Been buddies since high school. Just a truly inspired person he's funny too because he's kind of a goofball and I mean that in the best way he just has an excitement for life

and he's always joyful and so we were playing golf and he hasn't played much and it took him like an hour to get to the green on the first hole and we had like three groups behind us. And we're all like, Tom, you got to hustle. Come on, man. Hustle, hustle.

He gets up to the green. And our friend Ross, who's kind of like the taskmaster leader of the group, is like, Tom, honestly, dude, you need to be more mindful of other people. I love you, but you're irritating the fuck out of me. And then Tom's like, yeah, for sure, dude. And Tom took it just all in stride. He's like, they've been playing football together since they were seventh graders. He's like, no, I'm used to Ross getting on me about shit.

And then we get to like hole 12 and Ross is like trying to hit a fairway shot. And Tom is just driving his golf cart like all around Ross looking for his ball. And we're like, you know, you're not supposed to move when someone's hitting their ball. And we're like, Tom, you got to stop. He puts it in reverse. Golf carts make that beep, beep, beep noise. And then we're all like, me and my buddy F. He puts it in reverse. Golf carts make that beep, beep, beep noise. And then we're all like, me and my buddy, Farrar, are just dying laughing.

Tom's going backwards. We're like, and Ross is just sitting there like pissed. And we're like, Tom, you've got to stop. You've got to stop. He's like, okay, okay, okay. He gets out of the cart and starts walking in the bushes, and he's stepping on branches, and they're all breaking. And we're just dying laughing. We're like, dude, you have to stop.

Then Ross finally hits while Tom's moving and just shanks it. And right after he shanks it, Tom goes, hey, I found my ball. He finds it, puts it down, and just hits. And we're like, me and Farrar just dying. And then Tom just hits a perfect fairway shot, just like sails, like 10 yards short of the green. And then we're just dying laughing. And yeah, those are just funny stories.

But he's such a smart guy. He's so in touch with so many parts of himself of just like the whimsical parts of life. And then he's an ER doctor in Fresno. So he has this urgent reality that knocks him out of his flights of fancy. He really deals with the world in a really, really serious way. And I think the way that he is about other stuff where he's so happy and curious and positive helps him as a doctor. Like he got like peer review when we were hanging out together and everyone's like, his bedside manner is amazing. He inspires his, his peers. Like he's, he's a wonderful doctor who leads by example and we all love to follow him. And I was like, he's a beast, man. And, and, you know, we've been working out together and talking and

we're very different on subjects, you know, like we like we see the world differently in a lot of ways but I always enjoy talking to him and actually I think I was so scared of COVID and I think we should be you know we it's a it's a scary motherfucker but he kind of like I don't know I was too scared and he kind of brought me more towards him look I still want to be really safe and stuff but he brought me more towards the middle and uh kind of uh i'm happier because of him so i really appreciate that guy i love you dearly buddy and i hope i didn't ding you too much at the top picking on you but you yeah you're a legend yeah yeah i've never uh i've only seen him virtually but dude it seems like it's just a gem of a guy yeah he's beautiful and cool and super smart and he

loves you so much and then oh that's nice because you guys kind of look alike a little bit yeah and i'll always ask him i'll be like i'll be like i'll call him chad sometimes and he'll go dude that's the best thing he loves it he loves it so much it's funny i like watching you two talk on your lives oh yeah yeah you can because i remember you talking about him i had never i met him uh but then i saw him on the lives i was like i was like oh this is the smart dude that they keep talking about yeah

and I could see it yeah and I could see that positivity too yeah he's got a really good outlook on life and then it's so funny with Ross

because Ross would just be like he kept we were doing a workout and he just kept so am I supposed to shoulder press with the left arm and then we're like

in the middle of the workout we're all sweating our balls up and Ross is like just fucking do it dude he's like you got two ears and 14 mouths and then we're just like it's just a it's a great odd couple dynamic yeah but he's a beautiful beautiful dude

I love you dearly his family's great too they're all legends Chad what's your quote of the week well I gotta go with Van Wilder again because I'm not done yet Chad, what's your quote of the week? Well, I gotta go with Van Wilder again. Because I'm not done yet. There's a lot of lines in that movie. Okay.

So this is an interaction between Van and Richard, the antagonist. Whoa, trick or treat. What's going on here? This vaginal discharge won't let us partake in the par-tay. Graphic. Who says graphic, Van Wilder? Yeah, cool dude. Yeah.

That's nice. I can see us saying that. Yeah. Aaron, what's your quote of the week I'm just gonna read a few of my choice choice tweets from Jurassic Park updates nice

just put yourself imagine that you are you are in Jurassic Park and there's someone on a loudspeaker or you're or you're just monitoring

this Twitter account if anyone sees a dinosaur like in a random place, let us know. Some of these come from the scientists too. It's not that hard to make a dinosaur. The crock pot usually does most of the work. And then from the PR department. To those who were eaten today, I can tell you that dinosaurs feel bad

that they did that. And then finally, warning, a T-Rex isn't spotted wearing Joker makeup. Alright, my quote of the week is, I guess it's an Albert Einstein quote, but I heard it from Ben Bergeron, who's one of the top trainers in CrossFit,

on his podcast, Chasing Excellence. Which I think sometimes is too dogmatic about having a great mental attitude and never letting anything get in your way. But then at the same time, it feels cheesy to me, but I think I need more of that cheesiness. It does make me tougher to listen to it you know yeah it makes it makes me like a little bit more uh even though i kind of like kind of listen to it askance i'm like nah this is helping me but he said he said he attributed this to Einstein he said the number one question you have to ask yourself is whether you live in a hostile or friendly world and that's huge for me because i think a lot of the times i've been unhappy with myself is when I was like especially when I was young is when I perceived the

world as hostile I thought everybody was coming up coming at me and I had my Dukes up at all time you know what I mean and it's easy right now because we are living in a hostile world like coronavirus is a hostile thing that's all around us but I think we still have to believe that people are good in that and that most people want the best for other people and that we live in a friendly world where everyone wants to be homies. Yeah. Yeah, I think it's easy to think we live in a hostile world,

but when you really think of, especially for guys like us, when you really take a second to look back at how lucky we are, you're like, dude, this world's friendly as fuck, to me at least. Yeah, totally, totally. Yeah. And you don't want to be, you're so right. Like, the world's been so good to me. Yeah. And maybe, and you don't want to be, you're so right. Like the world's been so good to me. Yeah.

Yeah. And I don't, I don't want to stop there. Like I'd like to, you know, be aware of things beyond my own luck. Yeah. But I should be aware of both those things. I don't think they're mutually exclusive. Yeah. Yeah.

It's so tough with that stuff too. Yeah. Yeah. Cause you're like, I don't want to just say everything's, you know, rainbows and butterflies. It's like shit obviously is fucking hectic and sad and cruel and brutal but but how do i fit my positivity into that in a way that can be beneficial yeah i don't know what do you think aaron you think it's hostile or friendly the world or you think it's neutral and it just it just swings on depending on who's in charge uh i wouldn't even go that far. I would say it's,

I think it's largely a friendly world. I really do. Love it. Nice. That's nice. What do you think, Chad? It's friendly. I look at everyone as my ally.

That's so nice. Yeah. I do that too, but I don't, you know? But I love it. I want that. Yeah. It's just a change in perspective. Let's do it.

What's your phrase of the week for getting after it? Just a heads up. Because we have that Zoom at 4.30. So I got to leave in like 5. Okay, yeah. We'll wrap it up quick. From Coleman Cox. Diligence is the mother of good luck I'm a great believer

in luck the harder I work the more I seem to have of it nice badass Aaron what's your phrase

of the week for getting after it let's go make some dinosaurs nice dude yeah that would be very cool dude

dude my phrase of the week for getting after it is from Justified season 1 it's been inspired by Aaron talking about it it's Aaron you've already would be very cool dude dude my phrase of the week for getting after it is from a justified season one it's been inspired by aaron talking about it uh it's aaron you've already seen it right yeah i've seen the whole show okay cool so i think it's episode 11 it's called like fathers and sons or something or it might be bullets and guns the finale uh and our arlo the main

character's dad who's kind of a squirrely guy and a criminal, is in a hotel room with Raelynn, the main character. And they're talking about their relationship. And then the dad, who doesn't have a lot of loyalty, goes to pull a gun on his own son, Raelynn. But Raelynn's super quick on it and already has a gun on his dad. And then Arlo's like, how'd you know? And he's like, well, Arlo, I guess I've always known. And it's such good acting. And then Arlo goes to react and goes, well, you know, son.

And he goes to call him son. And then Raylan goes, Oliphant goes, don't. Don't call me that. And, dude, the pain and gravitas in his voice in that line, oh, man, it sticks with me. So, yeah, I don't know if i don't know if it's really a phrase we're getting after but it makes me get pumped on how good that acting is and arlo actually used to work out in my old gym and i'd flex in the mirror and he'd go i got you he's a really old guy yeah he'd go i got you and then he'd talk to me about his crazy life he'd

be like i was friends with a cuban gay playwright in the 1960s named Geraldo Mesares after I left Yale playing football and we wrote a beautiful play that won an Obie. And I was like, dude, you've lived a fucking hell of a life, man. He's been in everything. Yeah, and he was amazing in Walk Tall, too. Arlo's a legend. Oh yeah, that's it.

Sweet. That was awesome. Yeah, that was fun. Good to be back in the studio. Aaron, good to see you. the studio Aaron good to see you yeah Aaron always good to see you glad to have you back brother glad you got to see your mama yeah

alright guys uh thank you Stokers write a review yeah write a review I love those dude alright bro if you need advice

these guys really really nice. You want to know what to do, where to go. When you need someone to guide you, just a half-nose beside you. Go with the flow. Go with the flow. I'm going deep. I'm going deep. I'm going deep. I'm going deep. I'm getting deep.