Going Deep with Chad and JT - Ep 162 - Strider Joins

Episode Date: November 25, 2020

What up Stoker!? Strider joins us. We talk about the death in Chad's potential home, Strider getting a dog, and JT expanding his vernacular. And we talk about a ton of other stuff. It's a good ep.Sign up for new merch here: http://www.shopcgd.comSponsored by Manscaped: Get 20% Off and Free Shipping with the code GODEEP20 at Manscaped.com. If you wanna trim your pubes during a contagion.

Play it. What's your team? How many? Chad and JT Ooh yeah, nibble my ear and call me Steve. What's up Stokers of Stoke Nation? This is Chad. and call me Steve. What's up, Stokers of Stoke Nation? This is Chad Kroger coming in with the Going Deep with Chad and JT podcast.

Guys, before we begin, I want to remind you once again that we are brought to you by Manscaped. Manscaped, thank you so much for keeping our trims pubed, for looking after our hogs, for making sure that our dongs are looking fresh and clean

because we're entering holiday season and you're going to want to get a sweater for the holidays, but you want to let people know that you only have one sweater for the holidays and it's on your torso. Around your dong, you got a frigging tank top. Right? Amen. Absolutely, dude. Okay.

So use code GOD20 at Manscaped.com to trim your pubes, to keep your pubes trimmed today. I'm here with my compadre, John Thomas. What up? Boom, clap, Stokers. And I'm here with the vino, el rey de vino el relation guru dude uh strider will say

freaking muchas gracias merci che che freaking thank you very much dude um honestly dude

I'd like to greet the pod with this noise right here dude just listen to this oh wow and it had a little spittle at the top it sprayed Aaron aaron i apologize that i got on that fuzzy right there did all help but but it is sanitary it's alcohol i'll do a follow-up pop

oh dude and you you cupped the uh spray cheers my bro just so we're drinking the uh the strider vino striders girlfriend it's a white and uh yeah this is my first time trying any of our wine products so i'm pretty thrilled to be drinking something with strider's face on it dude so honored man you guys picked the perfect photo i'm glad you took that um liberty because it's so tough to choose a photo that you're like oh i look sick here like if you looked at a photo and be like we all feel it and we know it's like i look freaking sick here like jet skiing or jumping off a pontoon boat but like rock climbing it's absolutely and this was taken from a perspective uh like a novel that you were gonna be on the cover of like a a female-oriented novel and you play the uh real estate husband that

she leaves 100 yeah like a nora roberts-esque novel, something that, you know, a divorcee or perhaps a woman who, you know, maybe I'm getting too deep in here, but isn't quite being tongue darted like she should be. Oh, wow. Yeah. Sorry. I really went there. No, specific.

But appreciated is correct. Yeah. The devil's in the details. Thank you. Yeah. And so is the key to keeping a relationship alive. 100%. It's nuance.

And yeah, 100%, JT, this is absolutely a real estate agent photo. This guy right here would sell you, I mean, he could sell you ketchup and white gloves, they say. Your demeanor in that is kind of like, I will get through this. Yep, 100%. Thank you. And you know, it's being a dude in a relationship, you know, it's, it would be remiss to not be, you know, stepping in, of course, as a drill factory, but stepping onto your, I like to call the bed sometimes the sex tray. You know, you got to step on your, lay down on the sex tray and really make it happen. You know, bring the effort, bring the thunder. And if that's not happening, if you see... While you're still in the marriage. While you're still in there.

Because otherwise, if you see romance novels starting to pile up in the bookshelf, bookcase, start darting. Maybe walk us through, if you know the marriage is on the rocks and you want to really sort of, you know, bring the heat in the sack. Right. What's your go-to? You know, first of all, I'd put on a little bit of, I'm blanking on the name. Who's, Al Green. Al Green. I was going to say Kenny G.

Oh, I love Kenny G. I love Kenny G. Yeah, something instrumental. Instrumental, love making music is nice, but maybe once you're in the throes of it, you know, after you bead your first nut, then maybe go instrumental. once you're in the throes of it you know after you bead your first nut and maybe go instrumental but uh prior to that in the foreplay session definitely outgrained it no question outgreen and then dude it's tongue dart central and i just saying tongue dart that's my move but it's got to be your move of course you know build up to um be passionate be aware be an aware lover is really

how you're going to save it and then other than that you know honestly dude just don't keep score you know take out the trash pick up the dogs pee and poop and then don't worry about you know what your lady's doing she's busy she's working dude you know happy happy freaking wife happy life dude so when you be your nut are you are you super vocal do you give like a oh you're like or are you kind of like freaking dank i've had both honestly i've had both levels of nut busting that you just showed there but usually i'm just like um i'm usually just like uh oh dude i heard you through the walls one time and as you know you said how are you feeling dude that's true which was really nice yeah yeah yeah that is really nice i thought you were talking to me

i was like solid yeah legit when i used to hear you bone, I'd smile. Would you really? I'd always slide the thing closed, you know? But when I first heard it, I'd go, nice. Yeah, I could see you like pouring a coffee, and you just hear like a, you look back, and you're like, give like a head nod. You're just like, it's good stuff. I'm like, my dog's happy. His lady's happy. It's the best, dude.

Yeah, dude. Yeah, you got a nut. You know, that's a good call right now, like you just made right there. It's like, I didn't realize i did that jt that's very perceptive of you but like sometimes when i nut i'd be like oh we should call your mom tomorrow just check in see what's up you know you know i was on mushrooms one time a couple months ago and i was with you and uh and you weren't on mushrooms and i remember looking over at you and you can read energies a lot. I feel like on mushrooms. And I, not only did I see pure positive energy,

but I also saw, you know, in my mind, I was like, he's a thoughtful nutter. You know, he nuts thoughtfully. And,

uh, I think even if you don't say anything, you know, I know your partner's sort of like, uh, wow. He really, he's thinking about errands and stuff and like how, how can make my life better in this moment too totally i think because sometimes you uh the kind of nutter i

want to be is that even when i'm in the throes of passion like that like as i nut i just i i look around i go is everybody else okay right dude that's so honorable like i say that out loud yeah i believe everybody else okay yeah she's like did that feel good i'm like really good yeah i could see that for you jt you're like the um andrew garfield from um heartbreak ridge or whatever that movie not heartbreak ridge but um half bar halfback ridge hacksaw hacksaw ridge yeah you know can i get another half can i just please let me just get one more and you're not talking about one more nut for you you're just talking about you know can i just get one more good orgasm for my lady no because you know ladies can multiple i took it to the next level they're saying the word orgasm no it's good

chad so you've been looking for a new place right so we should update everyone that last week i was encouraging you to go into a place that potentially had a ghost because of a recent death that your real estate person informed you about and do you want to say what the death ended up being? Yeah so I took another visit well I took the visit I inquired further and he said it was a suicide

that's funny crazy oh man and so I didn't visit the place crazy yeah oh man man uh and uh so i didn't visit the place but i visited the place across the street from it you know and also we were talking about this and i dug deeper with you you know because you were like encouraging me you're like dude just do it i wanted you to do i still want you to do it i think if i dug deep i was

like would you do it i don't think you'd do it no i'm probably not with a suicide yeah but with a regular one too a regular death yeah i think i'm good for it man i've been asking a ton of people and it's really 50 50 yeah i think honestly i'm not even just being devil's advocate i'm like suicide you got to think the person's life they're at a level where they're like oh i can't handle the pain or the sadness and you know hopefully someone doesn't get to that point, obviously. But it's like if they do, they're released from that pain, you know. So you could think that's somewhat of a positive, you know.

This is a progressive thought, you know. Yeah, you're spinning it. Yeah, are you tired? No, dude, I'm just saying it's like. But look, it's tough. Obviously, you want someone to live. You want all that to happen. But it's like if it gets to that point want someone to live, you want all that to happen, but it's like,

if it gets to that point, I think like a worse death for me, like if I was going to say like worst case scenario, death of a place that I'm about to rent would just be like sacrificial, some sort of cult sacrifice, other people there who are still out there. And maybe there's like some sort of burial ground or, or just sort of evil on the earth upon which that apartment exists, then you're cursed.

It seems like it's a one-off from the person that was there. Now don't get me wrong. I'm not right in any place that someone like that died and like, I'm terrified of ghosts. I don't want any part of it, but I do think the suicide is a lesser of a sort of death. Right. I think so too.

Yeah. I think suicide's not as bad as a cult murder at the place you're inheriting. Not even, yeah. Cult murder, cult murder is the worst. I can't think of something worse than a cult murder. No,

that's probably the worst. Yeah. Or, or yeah. But then, you know, if it was a cult murder, you could,

you know, play devil's advocate for that. You could say, wow, there's some, you know, freaky sex going on here. You know, I might be you know, play devil's advocate for that. You could say, wow, there's some, you know, freaky sex going on here. You know, I might be able to, maybe I can meet some people who would have like a, you know, goat's head that I could throw on and just, you know, try it, just try it on for

size and see if I enjoy that kind of risque lifestyle. Dude, and that's a fire call too. Cause if there was a cult murder there, there was definitely some bonding that happened. Totally. Like everybody there besides the person who was getting a ritual sacrifice was on the same page. Totally. And everybody was like having a really good time.

They were probably pretty fired up afterwards. Yeah. True. And maybe even the person who got sacrificed was a volunteer sacrifice. I'm not sure on the, how that typically works out, but that's possible. Yeah.

Sometimes it is dude, you know? And honestly, I'd like to imagine their free ball on it under their robes. I'm imagining they're wearing robes. Of course you've got to, you know? And honestly, I'd like to imagine they're free-balling it under their robes. I'm imagining they're wearing robes. Of course. Of course. You've got to.

You know? Yeah, you can't throw Hanes on while you're wearing, like, sacrificial robes. You've got to let your thing swing. Yeah, dude. And you've got to be manscaped, of course. One thing that would be cool, too, is if I was a new cult member, you know, in one of those, a death cult, I could bring the Lawnmower 3.0 in there. And I'd be like, hey, guys, instead of brands, you know, instead of giving each other brands of like a satanic thing, we could just trim that into our pubes. Nice.

That's a good call. Yeah. They need that. Yeah, good call. Still has the bonding effect. Still can be ritualistic. And just a lot less logistics, you know? Totally.

Didn't you have a, and you had a run-in when you were checking out one of the places? Yeah, so, well, one more thing about the ghost thing. I consulted our good friend Brad Fuller, B. Fuller, because he produces horror movies. So I was like, there's no better guy to know. Good call. And he was like, dude, don't authority google and he was like he's like dude don't do it he's like don't do it that's how all horror movies start i know i'm in this biz i'm like that's all i need to hear and i was like well what about this because there's a place across

the street that was a little bit nicer a little bit pricier but it was within my range and i was like what if i'm in the vicinity of this and uh he was like I think that's okay but I don't know I'm looking at this other place and so I looked at the other place and I liked it it was nice and I was like ah I could see myself here you know uh the place across the street giving me the creeps but I think I could pull it off and so I wanted to do a second look to make sure I wanted to uh you know measure the room see if like the bed would fit all that kind of stuff and uh we go there and i'm with the guy the realtor angel and we angel angel yeah and you're dealing with ghosts yeah whoa good call yeah fits the

scene he's a good guy yeah and uh so he's like oh the oh, the lock thing is, the key's missing. I don't know where the key is. It's locked. And I was like, oh, crap. And so he knocks on the door and someone comes to the door and it's a shirtless dude. Mid-40s, just pops his head up behind it. Mind you, this place is not furnished. There's nothing in there. And he's like, oh, yeah, hello? there's nothing in there and he's like oh yeah hello and the realtor's like yeah I have a visitor here he's an applicant he wanted to take a second look

he's like yeah there's no visits today and he's like well he's right here if you could just shut up and I was like yeah I just want to see the garage and he's like oh yeah give me a minute he goes away for a minute comes back opens the door peeks his head out

still shirtless and he's like oh yeah you're gonna have to you're gonna have to come visit tomorrow i was sitting there i was like guy what the hell is going on in there you know because clearly he's either drilling himself drilling someone or he's probably just dropping loads in there and then angel looks at me he's like he smells like alcohol so i don't know dude there's a lot that's bad energy that's bad energy in there you know there's a lot going on at this place and then today if i can expand further i um i talked to you know i was like yeah i, I'm thinking about, you know, going with this place because they accepted my application. And I talked to Kevin, the schmole. And this is why you always have to have a schmole in your squad. Kevin's like, you got to negotiate.

This is a renter's market. We're in a pandemic. You got to get the price lower. You know, this is the one time where you have the leverage. This place has been on the market for a while. There's some guy dropping loads in there, drilling himself. You've got to negotiate. So this goes against my nature.

I try to negotiate with him. So I called them today, and the rent was like a certain amount, and I asked for $200, no, $300 less monthly rent. I was like, laid it on the table i'm like these are my terms you know two hundred dollars less than what you guys are asking that's my offer and they're like okay well um if they aren't willing to if they aren't amenable at all are you going to walk away and i was like yeah i get a call a minute later and they're like we talked to the owner and he said no you know i thought that's good good for you the power of saying no dude that's okay

i walked away i like that dude you that's good man i'm generally a yes man and i want to be liked in a negotiation yeah like a big flaw of mine and part of my personality is i like being liked i'll honestly go out of my way. Even when I'm dealing with someone and negotiating like a dealmaker, I'm like, I want them to like me, but it's like, no, they're just trying to do their job and make money for themselves and the business and the commission,

and that's fine. They don't need to like me. So it's like, I'm glad that you said no and you set your terms. That's fine, dude. Well, I'm the same way as you, and that's why I think it's good to have a schmole in the squad

who can sort of strap some balls onto you for a little bit. Who likes being disliked. Yeah. Yeah. He was talking to me like I was his little brother, Kevin. He's like, you got to grow some balls, okay? He's like, you got to go in there. Because he helped Joe negotiate for a car.

He just talked for Joe the whole time. Do you want to tell that story? Yeah. I was just running into them the day it happened. And Joe was like, yeah, I brought Kevin with me to Culver City, Toyota. And then Kevin was like, yeah, the guy was a freaking asshole. So I just got in his face

and I told him his interest rates were bullshit. And then we just walked out. And then Joe goes, yeah, we walked out. And Joe was so pumped on it. Joe was like beyond 30s. Yeah, I like that. We walked out. Yeah. And he ended up getting him a good deal on his Prius C baby yeah I

talked to Stephanie too I was like yeah Kevin's gonna get me a deal and she's like you should just have Kevin do it for you and Kevin's like no he has to learn he has to learn how to do this and I was like yes and honestly it was tough for me to do why are you offering this I'm like

yeah I just think it's fair you know like yeah and uh that's all dude i love that dude yeah they call a minute later yeah he said no i was like that's fine i just think you know the universe doesn't want me to live there there's a bad juju there's guys drilling themselves you know there's there's uh sacrificial rituals going on in every place, you know. Although you guys did make a good point. If the ghost was hot, I should move in. Yeah. Which I totally agree with.

If someone killed themselves here, that's terrible. Yeah. They're like, yeah, here's a photo of her. She's like a knockout. You're like, dude, I'll move in if the ghost is here. Help her get through it. Yeah, bro. For sure, dude.

Bro, hopefully your unfinished business is just meeting a dude with great flow and good energy yeah but then you'd have that horrible thing where like if you did fall for each other yeah you know true hoping for that connection then how do you take it next level dude you gotta go like romantic you gotta find some sort of ai or a medium you know right and you'd have to like go- Whoopi Goldberg it. Big time. Big time. Yeah. We have sex with her when she inhabits the body.

Correct. Yeah. There's a little her vibe there too. Big her vibe and big Blade Runner 2049 vibe. Oh yeah. With Ana de Armas. Yeah. I heard her and Ben Affleck can't keep their hands off each other on their new movie.

That's great. Whoa. That got me fired up. Whoa. Kissing through their mass. Yeah. That fires me up. but also another thing just fired me up are you saying that in this situation i could either you know have a weird kind of

relations with the hot ghost or whoopi goldberg yeah yeah you technically like you kind of wouldn't be envisioning yourself with whoopi because she's the medium you'd be envisioning yourself with patrick swayze but in this case but in your case You'd be envisioning yourself with Patrick Swayze, but in your case, it'd be the hot ghost. I mean, ideally, but I don't think anyone's going to know if Chad, you know... I'm cool with all of those. He gets a little nut. Yeah, you're okay. I'm cool with all of those. Speaking of... I love it.

New happenings and new big developments in people's lives. Strider, you got a dog now? Dude, we did, bro. Sonny, dude. S-U-N-N-y is how you spell his name he's cute dude little handful bro i look around it i see neighbors walking them they go he's so cute i go he's a handful they go he's just learning he's a pup they go sweet i go thank you our landlord pamela today loves rescue dogs she didn't even charge us the deposit that we're

supposed to put on our apartment that's how much she loves rescues dude oh really and here's the thing you guys are some potty coat on your dog treatment she that's what's up yeah totally totally and you know what i gotta say i'm throwing out rescue there i'm throwing out that badge i'm dropping it i'm playing that card but full disclosure technically yes he's a rescue dog but he's a pup part of an unwanted litter he's just lived in like facilities his whole life so he's not really he doesn't really have ptsd or what you would typically envision of a true good person saving a dog you know what i mean beaten yeah and so i feel like that's what people kind of think of and envision mostly when they think of a rescue so i do have to come clean and tell you that. Well, I think you're doing a lot to broaden

then people's perception of what a rescue is. I mean, it can be any kind of dog from any sort of circumstances. Yeah, true, true. It's very true. And in some ways they rescue you. Oh, dude, bro. He's, dude, I'm getting up early now.

I'm getting stuff done, dude, on Monday. Dude, I'm typing up outlines, bro. Wow. I'm just outlining, I'll outline everything, dude. Yeah. I'm budgeting stuff, dude. I love that. What are you, what's an outline look like? I mean, dude, it's just basically, I mean, I have really nothing to, I'll outline everything, dude. Yeah. I'm budgeting stuff, dude. I love that.

What's an outline look like? I mean, dude, it's just basically, I mean, I have really nothing to outline right now, dude. Cause you know, due to COVID, dude, I like to say that. So it's literally like a template of an outline. It's like. Correct. Yeah. It's like target.

Correct. Summary. You just write summary. I write summary. I write, you know, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Friday, day of the week. I write, you know, I put times down there everything is blank on the outline anticipating yeah walking dog

and drill factory and toiletries with my GF toiletries go to the store and date night basically those are the filled up on those smooches with the GF it's the best dude get some smooches and some cuddles dude when my GF comes over I like to say dude

there's a little area in our apartment dude of our one bedroom with a little mini hallway and if I see my GF in that hallway I say you gotta pay the smooch toll

and is that also is that also steeped in the fact that that you oh you guys actually made contact that's the first contact dude we did it dude

high five of COVID wow dude no you're good just don't touch your mouth that's fascinating I can't believe that happened it was so

that was just so so Aaron dude what a beast dude what a fucking beast dude thank you but what I was gonna say is that steeped in the fact

that your first kiss with your GF and I'm a creep for knowing this but I remember you're not a creep dude you're my bro yeah that's the wrong phrase I'm just i'm just a historian of my dog's love life yeah um your first kiss with your gf was in a hallway dude that's a great fucking call i

didn't even realize that and by a bathroom which is where my hallway is yeah dude my gf we're both on improv teams and this dude that was on our team goes hey um do you have a girlfriend i was like no he's like oh you've been flirting with you know and i was like yeah you know i'm digging her he's like well if you're digging her she's down and i go all right and that's the confidence that i needed he knew i needed that confidence and she fed that information to someone who fed it to him that then brought that my gs and Through some telephone. Yeah. A hundred percent. She knew. She knew. She knows I'm a little timid guy.

You know, I'm a little bunny hopping around. I don't think I described you that way. When you heard that, what she's saying in the corny, you just gave sort of like a look. Sort of like John Travolta in Broken Arrow. Oh, dude. If I had a cig, bro, I would have lit it up indoors. What a terrible thing to say. What a love-inducing thing to say.

And I looked around. She wasn't around. That's why I went searching for her, dude. Yeah. She was in the bathroom, and she comes out of the bathroom. I see her. We lock eyes. There's like a bookshelf to the right of us, dude.

I go... She just starts walking towards me. Kind of of you know gracefully come towards her dude a little bit of hands dude right by the hips dude but you know obviously getting confirmation from the eyes look there dude and then just fucking smooch city dude what up dude the rest is history yeah exactly dude you get some tongue in there like of course but not on the first on the first one just went in went in a little halfway yeah went in came back okay we're good let's go and later that night we did end up just sleeping on the floor together we did nothing nothing yeah dude i felt i woke up

really ready to go and did i look like i was doing legs the next day so i was ready yeah um but uh you know made out a little bit chill dude crashed slept on the floor and uh some dude at the party pissed like five feet from our heads in the middle of the night we didn't even know it that's awesome so you know remember that girl annalise that i uh i had a crush on in high school she came over to my place for a little soiree and she peed in the kitchen that's awesome but like a week later we made out i loved it i remember one of our bros uh was so fucked up one night the bathroom was like literally we're in your brother's room dude

and the bathroom like if you're in his room like there's like a dresser with drawers and then literally three feet from that you go into the bathroom and you can pee in a toilet and our bro was so messed fucked up that he just pissed right into the dresser drawer. Yeah. That's awesome. Dude, I have a big thing that happened in my life that I, or a big realization that I wanted to share with you guys. I've thought about it a lot. And after a lot of consideration, I think I'm going to start saying it hits different. Whoa.

In like my day-to-day language. Whoa. Yeah. Whoa. That's huge. Yeah. Thank you, dude. That really sort of changes my whole, you feel a little bit more street to me right now

oh wow okay cool I've been seeing people use it and I've been kind of like you know I was not liking it I was judging people who said it and I was kind of annoyed by them and then I thought more about it and I was like I think I do like it

and I think that's part of the reason I reacted negatively to it is because I was scared that deep down i actually was the kind of guy who wanted to say that yeah and i think it i think it works in a lot i think there are things that it makes sense to say with you know what i mean 100 thinking in the context of what you do which is just being a dank fucking bro and a good chiller and a loyal dude who has all of our backs no matter what but thinking about you hitting the bells i could really see you and we have a tech side of bros who who throw around steel over their heads i throw the least amount of weight in that um thread but second least no who throws the least i mean daniels isn't lifting you're right that's true i mean if he was

lifting he could be the strongest but he's not not lifting. That's true. Come on, Daniels. Remiss of him, dude. But I could really see you using that with authenticity in that context and others. Oh, thanks, man. Yeah. Well, if it starts to get annoying, like if it starts to wear on you guys, just let me know and I'll pare it down. Because I want to be open and try new things, but I also care how those things affect the people around me. So just let me know if it's, I don't know, getting to be too much.

I'll for sure let you know, but I never want to step on your truth. And, you know, I think there's a lot of new dimension to you. Because when I, you know, when you talk, when I see you, I think, oh, see, bro, with a philosophical mind, you know, with the mind of Thoreau. But I think this, with you saying it hits different. Thoreau but I think this it with you saying it hits different I'll be like this is a OC bro with a you know with a wise intellect who also kicks it on Melrose sometimes and worse boots oh hell yeah yeah so I'll be more relatable yeah nice it's just another dimension to add to your repertoire do that's huge beautiful pronunciation of that Chad and you know it's very unsmall like

of you to i could see like kevin our small saying it hits different and then him assuming that like it's going to catch fire among the group and he's like you're wrong for that not to catch fire but so just kind of a teachable moment for any listeners out there of like appreciate jt coming to the squad letting us know like he's thinking of doing this and implementing it and he doesn't have to do that well yeah i'm not going to just start saying it without checking with you guys oh for sure yeah let us know yeah yeah or text us when you start doing it yeah because i'm saying it but other people are hearing it yeah have you been practicing saying it like when you're ordering just by myself in the car sometime i'll be like it's different what do you mean ordering like getting pokey oh yeah it's different yeah i've

been trying it more in front of strangers that's actually super perceptive of you yeah because you feel a little safer with them yeah and they don't have as much like history with you you know so you're not deviating from their expectations as much totally um but i think it hits different when you say with your friends should we do a little role play like you're ordering pokey from me? Yeah, I'll take you through it. Cool. Hey, what's up? Hey, can I take your order? Hey, yeah, for sure. You been having a good day? I've been having a great day.

I just started my shift. I'm excited to serve you some pokey. Oh, nice. What time do you get off at? 10pm. Oh, that's a while. Yeah. Hits different when you know you're going to get off earlier. It does hit different thank you i'll have the uh tuna salmon combo and i'd like to do with a uh bamboo rice base oh the bamboo rice all right that was so fucking organic and beautiful dude that was amazing dude yeah and i really tried to focus on their experience. Thank you. I felt seen. Yeah. Yeah. I see you, Jake Sully.

Yeah. It's a great line from Avatar. Yeah. Dudes, we also... Dudes, we also... Why is that killing you so hard? Did you recently watch Avatar? Yeah. I haven't. I just, the fact that

you said that is just so fucking funny to me. Oh, thanks, man. Dudes, we also read an article about spider sex and how unique it is in the animal kingdom. One of the main reasons that it jumps out to a lot of people is the size differential between the male and female spider. The female spider

in a lot of different species can be up to 10 times larger than the male. And sometimes, I think it said even 120 times more. They had a funny image. Did you guys see the image of the baby dude? It was unreal, on top of the female. On top of the female. And so they often have to get behind him

because, also interesting, the female will normally cannibalize the man while they're depositing their version of jizz. And the dude will know he's getting eaten, but give her the parts of his body that won't interfere with the jizz depositing and just try to finish the deal. Yeah. Yeah.

Well, I really scanned through too much of it there. That was the most interesting one, though. That was incredible. I read that, and I was like, it would be tough to have a male fetish as a spider and i would certainly be eaten quickly you think so yeah if you're just into you know sort of more powerful ladies that kind of you know can dominate you in the in the sack it felt like an extension of our conversation from last week in a way right yeah right and. Right. And you know what? I'd be down for it. You have to be, yeah.

I would certainly, you know, I'd be like, you take my jizz. Mm-hmm. You know? And so much of the, of the, uh,

I mean, their whole life, their whole hero's journey is about getting that jizz into the female, uh, spider. Yeah.

That's my genetic code. They die a huge amount of the time. Because even if she doesn't kill them, they'll break off their tentacles basically into her to keep other spiders from getting in there. But then they also have to stay around and fight the other bros. Yes. Because the female spiders can take on more...

Suitors? They can take on more suitors. And they like that because it gives them a better... More dongs? Yeah. It gives them a better chance of getting the strongest male producing the strongest child. Like the more they mix it up with different dudes. Yeah.

So they're just kind of playing the odds. It's crazy, dude. I love that. Yeah, I like to imagine those things they break off in them as like they're literally cutting off their own dicks in order to keep life going, which is honorable. Sorry, I didn't mean to laugh. Did you see what the article said? It said eunuchs, which is a dickless entity, fight better.

Yes. They're more agile. Oh, really? Yeah, and better fighters. Spiders? The spiders, yeah. Interesting. So guys with dicks will roll up

once this guy's broken off his dick and the female spider. Yeah. And dude, they're tinier, so they'll fuck, it's like called EDDS or something like that, like dysmorphia, like dysmorphia of size in edds or something like that like dysmorphia like like um dysmorphia

of size in the species or something like that like extreme um size dysmorphia whatever the fuck but uh anyway dude it's like like jt said it's sitting on top of the back so look at your hand and like put a quarter on top of your hand your hand's the female spider the quarter's the male that's like yeah kind of the image whoa it's gnarly it's huge and so that little fucking dude is now going to go around and anyone that comes in to the little spiders lair he's going to go just straight up take out dude and kill and be like nope my little dick is inside of this female i want my little baby eggs to be laid let's go right and part of like what was interesting is like they got into like sort of why the size differentiation happens and how extreme it is and like of course the theme of everything now is like well

This means it's dying out like it's basically a lost cause into oblivion. It's like that was pretty heavy at the end Yeah, they think that this is a like an basically an anomaly in evolution and that it's it's not sustainable Yeah, because their dicks are getting broken off every time. Well, it's just easier to be small. It's like you're going to go small, you're unnoticed. Being big and more tinier. Not every spider species has that extreme size difference. There's some size difference. The females are typically always larger.

But in these extreme cases, it's just an outlier. So outliers tend to go by the wayside yeah well and so the larger female spiders now are more noticeable to outside predators right so so they're vulnerable that way yeah yeah it worked for a little bit but it's just not it's not the best long-term solution for survival right yeah but it's given us this interesting you know pocket of of nature where we're really seeing uh something different yeah it sounds super fun for the female spiders that gets me stoked she's the bell of the ball yeah oh and then another thing that a male spider can do when the female spider starts to eat him is they can put silk on her they can deposit

some silk and then it doesn't bind her it's not strong enough for that it actually just relaxes her yeah because it feels good to her and so she chills for a bit while the dude finishes his business so it's almost like a back tickle or something like that where you're like i you know me i'm always anxious but if someone scratches my back you'll see me relax like completely and and so the male spider has his own kind of method for eliciting that response wow yeah it's pretty gnarly it's almost like you got to imagine like sort of darting this your um tongue darting the female right which is pretty cool spiders are practicing like cunnilingus right

they're doing extra stuff that's really just about their partner's uh pleasure which i love which is what sort of what we started talking about like they're busting a nut going i'm gonna protect you i'm gonna protect you now from as a eunuch and that keeps it from being true altruism the fact that they get something out of it is that they're depositing and then their semen isn't uh something that's generated from the activity they they build it up over time and then they keep it in like pouches basically oh that's great yeah they do a little like a sack full of load yeah exactly it would kind of be like not masturbating for a while so you have extra to give you know what i mean so you're at peak uh that's the best feeling when you when you

like go for a family trip for like a week and stuff you know you can't drill yourself and then you just come back home and you're just ready to you know you're like i don't even know where to put it because there's just so much. It's an abundance. We also, we read an article about a monolithic structure that was discovered in Utah in a cave, but like it's not natural looking. It's like a black kind of like 10 foot obelisk or something like that.

I don't know if that's big enough to be an obelisk, but monolith, a monolith, right. So I use the word, sorry. Yeah. I don't know. What did you guys think? I think it's aliens. You think it's aliens? Whoa. I mean, that's the question, right?

Who put it there? Yeah, because no one's claimed it. It wasn't dropped, they said. Like, there's no signs that it was dropped. It just appeared. You know, I'm going to go aliens on this one. It sounds gnarly. I mean, the article heavily references 2001 Space Odyssey,

which is where I get the word monolith from, because that's what it's all about. And so they're like, oh, maybe it's a fan. I think they filmed that in the Utah desert. And they're kind of saying like, oh, maybe some artist did an installation. They're like, it looks artistic more than anything else. They thought like, oh, NASA put it there like bounce satellite signals off off of but it's kind of like um lowered into some rocks and stuff which would be interference so it's not quite ideal for

that um so i think the leading theory like in the article we read was like oh it's like an art artistic installation or something yeah yeah i saw that too and i thought about it and i was like uh i was like i'd rather think it's aliens. That's tight. I love that. Yeah. It's far to think about aliens, dude. I love it.

It's so fun. I read one of the guys who suggested that article to us today to cover Chubbs Peterson, one of our legit followers on Instagram. He said that it looks like a huge jewel. Oh, dude. That fires me up. Yeah, it was a really smart, perceptive ID by him. And I think what that

says to me is that if it is aliens, it's aliens who like to jewel. Yeah. That'd be such a dang peace offering. Right. And if I see an alien jeweling, I'm not worried about, like, conflict. Because I'm like, oh, we have a lot in common. Yeah. Dude, totally. I get where those aliens are coming from. It's I'm not worried about, like, conflict. Because I'm like, oh, we have a lot in common. Yeah.

Dude, totally. I get where those aliens are coming from. It's like, they're just, like, probably looking to go out. Like, those aliens are probably past curfew. And they're like, my fucking parents don't get it. I'm just looking to chill and listen to some good music. Yeah. And fucking hit the jewel.

Dude, and in Barack's new book, he talks about how Dick Durbin, the senator, when he would go overseas to visit with the Russians, talking about nuclear proliferation, that he would always do a shot of vodka with them at noon. Which, just to show them, like, hey, I'm down with your culture and I'm a cool dude. So far. That's our, like, foreign head of state, or that's our, like, head of state going to do foreign policy. Maybe the aliens were like, okay, everyone's jeweling. Let's go down there with the jewels so they know we're legit. I love that.

And it makes you think about who, if aliens do come, it's like, who are everyone's jeweling. Let's go down there with the jewels so they know we're legit. I love that. And it makes you think about who if aliens do come, it's like who are we going to send to? Because usually you think the president, some generals, but you know it could just be like your homie Trey who rips jewels non-stop. Dude, Trey would get along with anyone. When has he not gotten along with someone? Anytime I have a

friend from out of town, I know if we go out with Trey that Trey's going to be warm and show them a good time. Yeah, he takes it on as like a personal responsibility yeah he's just one of those guys who's just ripping jewels and just like waxing poetic about the universe i think he's a perfect candidate 100 dude like why do we have to have these officials they're not even elected positions they're appointed like you know it's like me of course they come up through the ranks and but it's like militaristic or like, you know, pilots and stuff like that. Like, I think NASA and I think the government should employ a program of like just dudes who are just fucking total chillers and, you know, rippers of jewels who are just basically like part of the Space Force, which is kind of new now.

And just sort of like the greeting force, you know what I mean? Like hospitality for Earth and for other species. Like, what up, dude? We're going to play some fucking kings of leon or some good reggae we're gonna rip jewels how's that not gonna set the right tone for people visiting us you know i'd say if if if i if i was an alien i saw that like it's different dude it does hit different when you do an alien jewel? Yeah. Yeah, for sure. And dude, if the aliens responded well to that, that would be such nice validation.

Yeah. On anyone who says that phrase. What if the aliens came down and they're like, you know what, dude? Mint jewel pods, they shouldn't be illegal anymore. Smart. 100%, dude. They'd have a bunch of, they'd go from having friends to followers at that point. Dude, their TikTok following would be unreal. Yeah. Did you guys see that someone had like the first 100 million followers on tiktok

charlie d'amelio yeah so what's her story she's like a 17 year old who dances yeah she danced she's a fire dancer uh dude yeah and uh she just racked up 100 mil i heard she'd lost a million followers in a day because she was rude to a personal chef in some of her videos whoa yeah well she probably learned her lesson yeah dude okay speaking about that kind of stuff this is harry styles did a vanity fair shoot and he wore a dress and it's really caused like a big like cultural hubbub like people some people think it's like i don't know some people are stoked because he's the first guy on the cover you know what i mean and then some people are not stoked because they're like, dude, she didn't wear dresses. You know what I mean? They think it's like an attack on masculinity. Right. Yeah.

Which I think is kind of overstated because I think this kind of thing has been happening forever. Especially in art like David Bowie. David Bowie. Yeah. Dude, exactly. Exactly. He was androgynous back then. Mick Jagger. I heard Jan Wenner, the guy who started Rolling Stone magazine, talk about when he put Mick Jagger on the cover, he always tried to make him beautiful in a way that it would appeal to men as well. That's interesting. I didn't know that. And it's like, this has been happening

forever. Why are we acting like it's even a big deal? Doesn't Dennis Rodman go partying in wedding dresses and stuff? Yeah. This is kind of different. His name's Harry Stiles. he's got style it's not freaking harry you know binary yeah dude exactly it's not harry binary the guy i don't know dude i'm all for it bro it's a style what magazine is it vanity fair bro i mean bro

dude it's a big publication a lot of legendary covers you know what it wasn't vanity fair i'm an idiot it was vogue i did vogue even more dude that's even more so he wouldn't be the place into the argument you're making vanity fair yeah dude i um i don't I rode a scooter wearing a beret listening to Vogue. I felt like that related somehow, but I can't really quite make the connection. It's meaningful to hear you say that, though. Yeah, I just think... Just because you're legit. Dude, thank you so much. But it's kind of nice though these are kind of it feels nice to that

we're stepping back in the direction of like these are kind of our problems again dude super true you know whereas like before is like everyone's like freaking out they're like there's gonna be you know grab a go bag because you're gonna have to leave california and now everyone's like dude he's wearing a dress and i'm like oh nice yeah back to these, like, you're kind of like. We're having fun again. Yeah. Yeah. Also, dude,

seventh grade, no, eighth grade, I put on, we had Irish step dancers or whatever. I put on one of their dresses after school in carpool and then eighth grade graduation,

they played it during the slideshow and it got a huge pop from everybody. So, I mean. That's so smart. Yeah. And I went to a junior high

with a bunch of freaking aggro dudes who could throw down yeah but everyone was still into it I love it it's like what are we talking about I love it

yeah kids who have the reputation of good fighter in junior high interesting dude something I can't relate to it'd be tight if that was it it was like dude

that's freaking Sean and probably like some sort of three three syllable last name like mmhmm Kilgriffish or something like that like Sean Kilgriffith dude yeah that's freaking sean and probably like some sort of three three syllable last name like kill griffith or something like that like sean kill griffith dude yeah dude can fight and like other schools know about it that's just sick dude yeah i knew this kid zach barry like a wopo player uh super tan super good looking um In sixth grade, rumor had it

that he made out with like three chicks. So chill. What? On top of that, dude, he fought. Legend.

Dude, if you, you make out chicks and you fight, and you're in seventh grade, eighth grade. Yeah. And then all of us

were having a conversation because we were starting to get pubes and like starting to, you know, drill ourselves. And he's like, what are you guys talking about? And I was like, dude, Aria has pubes. Like he has fucking drill ourselves and he's like what are you guys talking about

and i was like dude aria has pubes like he has fucking pubes he's like cool and just walks away to his locker and i was like he wasn't even like that he wasn't he wasn't blown over by he was like okay cool somebody's pubes that's so cool to like you're not because everyone who's fascinated that out of his pubes is thinking about their own pubes yeah and that dude was like i don't care his pubes have nothing to do with my pubes right which is kind own pubes. Yeah. And that dude was like, I don't care. His pubes have nothing to do with my pubes. Right. Which is kind of like,

I don't know, I'm not at that level of enlightenment. We'll get there. Yeah. So chill. One of the chillest kids, this kid freaking

Giancarlo, dude. And he was the eighth grader when I was the seventh grader. And when we were changing for PE, we used to always like to body glove each other. Remember that company Body Glove? For your w wetsuits it was just a hand in the middle of your wetsuit so if you had your shirt off over your head you go up to your buddy who was your friend and you

go body glove and announce it and slap them and then they have like a red handprint on their chest and we thought it was so cool to do that and like we showed john carlo because he's like the cool dude in eighth grade we're like did john car Oh look we body love this guy. I remember one time. He's like Why do you do that to your friends, dude? That's dumb don't show me that well, and then we stopped body loving each other to it Tigerland that movie with Colin Farrell Joel Schumacher directed super underrated beautiful trying to teach him how to torture people when he's in like military Training he just walks when he goes why would I want to do that to another human being? But it's like, we're all just programmed to go along with the flow.

You know what I mean? To listen what the people who have been there longer, who have been in charge told us. But all it takes is one dude to just question what's going down and just say, Hey, let's zoom out a little bit here. Totally, dude. I'm talking like Matthew McConaughey right now. Dude, we should do that more often with each other hey i'm gonna go mcconaughey for a second i'm just gonna flow

yeah um yeah it's cool when you meet those guys who are just like super buff and tough and you're you're like you think you're gonna impress them when you're like dude yeah we just we told this kid that like he looks soft dude and he's like why are you gonna why are you gonna rag on your friends like that you're like damn yeah those those people are invaluable yeah i one time i was the same thing i was seven i was at this restaurant calico in wyoming and they had a bunch of like they had a big yard in the back where you could like play sports and stuff so we're all playing like wiffle ball and then some new guy came up hey can i play with you and all my friends were like 13 and i was like seven or six or whatever so and then as he walked up he's like hey can i play with you and all my friends were like 13 and i was like seven or six or whatever i said and then as he walked up i was like you think you can just roll up and

hang out with us like come on bro trying to be cool and then all the other kids were like that was really mean of you and i felt so small in that moment i was like it doesn't pay to be that way when you get called mean by a cool like a bigger cooler dude it's like the worst feeling. But then you just like, you respect them so much. Totally, dude. For sure. Totally. Also, wearing a dress, to get back to the Harry Styles thing, it's also doing anything that's like outside traditional masculinity is a good way to mess with guys who are too

stuck in that mindset. Like, I used to get naked at parties and stuff like that. And a big reason I did it was to mess with the alpha male dudes. Because then I'd'd like kiss my buddy Andrew on the lips and be naked they but what the fuck are you doing? I was like dude who cares? Yeah, and they couldn't handle it. They'd bail on the party Yeah, and that meant I could hit on the girls that we're gonna hook up with them instead of me Yeah, so it's like, you know, you can weaponize people's homophobia against them. Yeah, they're pretty potent way Yeah, and I'll take sometimes it's just dropping dong Just pull just pull it out yeah pull your little piece out and say hey i don't think there's anything that you should assume about me because of what you're looking at dog

that's so tight legit i love it that's so sick um should we answer some cues hell yeah dude or should we do an ad first oh yeah is there um was there another article we had a couple more we could do do you want to do some more yeah i don't know how are you feeling i was just flowing but i i think we could talk about so it's also it's we're coming into december and january a lot of people like these months because you get christmas and new year's but if i'm being honest i kind of don't like them because i get pretty nar seasonal affected disorder which actually the acronym spells out sad yeah no accident there so i don't know i was thinking it might be valuable if we gave the stokers a way to

combat that because i'm sure a lot of people get sad when they can't get tan totes 100 dude it's just a time of year that you know exacerbates any maybe underlying sadness or whatever it's just like and it's just a proven fact like a seasonal shift dude jg sent this fire article dude that's just like highlights you know less sunlight less vitamin d less time you know winter brings less interaction you're you're cooped up inside so it's like how am i going to boost stoke in these times when, you know, earth is kind of holding me back from my main stoke inducing activities. And so, you know, there's always other ways, dude. You know, I think, I think I was thinking about today, dude, I just came out from just looking at my dog, dude, after it peed on our couch, like it was a fire

hydrant teaching him a little lesson, dude. And I was like, what's the meaning of life? I looked at him. I'm like, what is his meaning of life? Like marking his territory? Like what's going on? I'm like, what's the meaning of my life, dude? You know, it's just about having fire relationships, dude. I think that's it, dude. It's like reaching out to your boys, dude, calling someone up, someone up who you haven't called in a while, dude, you know, taking care of yourself through taking care of some others helps me out a little bit, dude, you know, gaming you know gaming whatever dude just staying in contact you know keeping that winter isolation and not letting that get the best of you and you know staying connected and hopefully tanning your butthole or something yeah i think huge looking at dogs too

is uh you watch a dog and you're like yeah wow that thing that that guy's fully present he's just loving it he's just he's just there and he's just experiencing life as it comes Watch a dog and you're like, wow, that guy is fully present. He's just loving it. He's just there and he's just experiencing life as it comes. And he's loving every second of it. And every time he gets an opportunity to have a treat or run or just go to a dog park or see another dog or see Strider or his GF, he just gets fired up. And that's where you kind of like, yeah, be more like a dog. Totally. And I think sometimes we're letting of like, yeah, be more like a dog. Totally. And I think sometimes we're letting the human get in the way too much.

If you talk to a dog and you're like, hey, are you sad about yesterday? The dog would literally be like, I'll hump you. And that's actually what I'm thinking all the time. But someone's convinced me that it's meaningful to think about yesterday. But sometimes it's not. Sometimes we're doing it too much. And we just got to go back to the dog. Yeah.

Sometimes you just got to red rocket life. Let the dog rough and let the red rocket pop yeah dude that might even be a good quote of the week dude sometimes you just got a red rocket life yeah i love it dude that's fire that is really fire that's fucking fire dude um yeah thank you bros and one thing i do is i i i after the after the holidays that's why usually when stoke decreases. Because holidays, you're having eggnog. You're experimenting with chai. You're drinking almond milk and wearing sweaters.

The liquids are top notch. Candles are lit all the time. Candles are lit. Fires are burning. Yeah, fires are burning. Chestnuts are roasting on an open fire yes I assume

um halls are decked halls are decked uh you got Christmas dude you got Christmas tunes playing Santa Claus is coming to town oh

yeah yes and uh but after that that's when I really lose stoke and that's when I just try to rock summer outfits as much as I can

and wear sunglasses indoors in my apartment um you know sometimes i'll just put a bit of sand in there and just you know just sort of be with the sand and and make some plans to you know do all kinds of stuff i'll drink a blonde lager maybe a longboard ale maybe a you know new belgian fat tire um and uh and i'll just plan my week dude that's genius yeah acting as if it's summer yeah like even if i'm in wyoming and it's just like this frozen tundra i'm gonna put on spf 30 every day yeah just just act like it's summer totes Just act like I'm in Malibu in July. Yeah. It's a fire call.

You're inside. You've got a heater. You know, you can't sport your Hawaiian, your board shorts if you're in Wyoming or something outside. You might get too cold, but you can for a little bit if you've got a jacuzzi. Run out there, dude. Run in the snow a little bit naked or skinny dip and get in your coos, dude. If you don't have a coos,

just post up inside dude wearing some board shorts just like chad said posting up dude acting like it's summer turn the lights on you're at the beach dude you know you can go on your freaking youtube and watch the ocean if you wanted it on your screen yeah yeah call up one of your boys sip some sifcos dude just have fun i love it that's a great dude. And that's only because summer is our favorite season. Pick your favorite season and do the same. But it affects a lot of people. It seems like seasonal disaffected disorder, it's getting to people.

Yeah. Totally. We're in good company. A lot of people get sad. And make sure you take your vitamin D, too. Yeah. For sure. Yeah.

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Alright. Legend. Alright, let's get into some cues. This one is from a dude named Eduardo. Long story short... Okay, sorry. Like two to three months ago, I stopped hanging out with my friend group. And what really hurt me is when me as well as another dude weren't invited to this vacation trip that the rest of the friend group went on. I've known these guys for a while, like two to four years.

And I've been chilling with them pretty consistently for like a year long story short everybody went on a trip to fucking cancun nobody said anything to me i wasn't invited and i never said anything to them but i just haven't hung out with this group since my one friend has invited me a couple times to chill and i've just sort of been making excuses or just brushing it off i've always been for the squad but this showed me that maybe i didn't fit in as well as i thought or maybe i'm not as close with the people there as I thought. And so my line of thinking is like, why spend time or energy with these people who don't care about my feelings? It's just sort of the principle of like not even having like a regard for how I feel knowing I'd be excluded.

I don't know if it's coincidental, but this was also around the time that I stopped smoking weed and I did feel like I couldn't just vibe with anybody the same. And maybe everybody was only down for the stoner me. I was like the guy who was high 24-7. During this time, I've invested more time into myself and been working out. A little bit of cardio and weightlifting. Nice. Pretty consistently and seeing results.

But with college being online, I don't have much to do. The only problem now is that I kind of have felt more lonely and I'm in my head all day because of all the time I have. And if I'm not working out, I'm just bullshittingitting on my phone i know a lot of people are feeling isolated right now so do you have any advice or what's like your mindset been since i know comedy has been pretty stunted and it's just hard to get in the full groove much love and long live the stoke nash dude i mean i i just want uh first off commend you on uh you know making some positive steps in your life you know giving up if you're smoking too much giving up weed working out bettering yourself and i think you know oftentimes when you do that sometimes you

will tend to isolate yourself a little bit because you'll have those friends that you party with and then you take, make a life change. And then, you know, um, some of those friends will fall by the wayside. But I think, I think first off, be proud of yourself for making these positive changes and, um, it will lead to more, to better quality of relationships and more meaningful relationships in your life. So I would say, you know, stay on the path and you will, you know, you will find your squad. And when you're sort of, when you're fully in tune with yourself like you are,

then you'll find your true squad that'll really be your squad for life. Dude, I can't. Yeah, I love everything you're saying. It seems like this crew, especially him hinting on him trying to better himself, is like maybe a crew that blazes together and that's chill and whatever. But it's like maybe he's trying not to smoke so much but it's like that's not your squad dude yeah those that's that's the stoner crew dude and that's fine i'm not hating on that it's just like he's trying to do something different dude and you're one dude who probably got you into the

crew is connected and he's probably not really a stoner dude and he'll probably phase out of that crew at some point and it's fine you're You're just transitioning out. And I feel like maybe it's just your emotions and everything are being highlighted because it's COVID you're feeling extra lonely. You know, you're trying, you're in this thing where you're stopping doing something that you've always done. So you're literally your body chemistry and your, and your shit is, is off a little bit, you know, chemically. So it's all going to feel more and more. So dude, just stay the path, get better. Try not to take it personally. It's always a bus to be excluded and not get the invite to a trip. I mean, there's nothing you can say there other than just, you know, man, that just sucks, dude. But you got, you got to get past it and realize, you know,

if these aren't going to be your lifelong crew, then it's fine. But if they are going to be a lifelong crew, then you got to reach out and let them know, Hey man, guys, I feel, what did I do? Is there maybe, you know, he wrote this email and literally do there's something maybe you might not be seeing that you're doing that doesn't know. I'm thinking it's mainly just the weed smoking stuff. I don't know if it's anything else. Talk to him about it. You might not even have to talk to them about it but I do think you guys are right if it's not a crew that you really want to grow with and they're not the ideal group for you

then maybe it's okay to just move on and try to find another crew you know what I mean? Buddy up to a cool guy you know who likes to work out you guys can bond on that, kind of kiss his ass a little bit you're in. But if you do want to be with this crew,

and I think I would take it this way, honestly, is if it was a crew that I really wanted to be a part of, and I just felt like, and look, there's no worse feeling than being left out. It's the worst feeling in the world. I've had those moments. Like one time, four of my buddies just drove by me when I was at a gas station, and they're like, what up, par? And then they just kept driving.

And I was like, I live down the street. I could have come hang out. Were they on the Jeep Wrangler? Yeah. And they were just having like the best time ever. But I was like, you know what? I thought about it in that moment. And at first I was mad, but then I thought about it. I was like, look, I might be doing something that makes them need days off for me. And maybe that's okay. Cause we hung out a lot, but maybe also there's something i could change that would make it so i was in the jeep in that moment and you know i'm not telling you to beat yourself up and everything hurts more during covid you know what i mean like if you've got like a little bit of insecurity

about something or if you're like prone to a certain kind of negative thought pattern it's definitely been enhanced by the situation we're in but i would maybe be like yo there's stuff some stuff i can do that will make it so that i'm on that trip to Cancun next year. And not only that, but everyone's like fighting to stay in the room with me. You know what I mean? And just, just be that ideal dude who,

who not, not in a fake way, but just like the best version of you. So that it's like, it's just a slam dunk. You know, you're not even going with them to Cancun cause you're getting invites from other people to go to Cancun. 100%.

But you got that guy in you. Yeah. That's great advice. If you're being your best, if you are being true unto thine own self, dude, and your group is denying you, that's not your group, dog. Yeah. And also at the same time, within your friendship crew, there's going to be guys who bond over stuff that you don't quite bond over, depending how big your squad is. So it's like you might be taking it personally when it's not even personal. Like if it's like right now, according to this email, I'm reading it as like the whole group went out and you were the only one isolated.

But if the reality of it is like three or four dudes went on this trip and like maybe not two or three guys went and you might be like the fourth of those two or three guys. Like whatever, dude. Maybe those guys all played on a team together or maybe those guys all do something that maybe you don't quite know about. That's a nice thing to take solace in too. Oh, Terry didn't get invited too. Terry's a pretty cool guy.

Must have been like a, they like lacrosse thing. Yeah, that's a good point. It's probably not even personal. I mean, most likely i mean i think that the biggest thing i've learned is is people are not thinking about you as much as you think they are for sure dude so but dude it's it sucks to miss out on trip to k-tune but you're gonna be on the next one for sure absolutely with the people you want worst case scenario dude just

book a solo ticket buy an entire linen outfit bring some fucking stokies with you only drink tequila on the rocks and just request you know one of this to social club and i think that's cuban music i'm on board with all that bag of marlin there you go get a solo fishing trip with like a well like a renowned fisher down there best team yep a nine-man crew a nine-man crew and just you bro you're fucking dude that's it you're gonna have beers in your hand the whole time yeah because you know they got that guy on the crew just make sure everyone's gonna bev yeah all your credit loony 24 hours committed to you 100 you gotta have some guys who are missing fingers oh yeah yeah the rope caught them yeah they got a story behind it and

guess what you're hearing it all and you're it and guess what? You're hearing it all and you're bonding and guess what that is? You're on a boat. Do you know what immediately you are when you're on a boat with those dudes?

A fucking crew. Mm-hmm. There you go. By death. Get a boat. Get on a boat. 100%. All right, dudes.

What up, council? Recently I met this girl and I really, really like. I think we click pretty well and she's a major B. Babe. People say I'm a chill guy and very non-toxic the problem is she told me that she doesn't feel comfortable in a relationship with me because she's afraid i might break her heart however she is comfortable

with short and toxic relationships with bad guys because she knows how they'll end going into it badly basically she's afraid that i might hurt her but she's okay when she knows she will get hurt she hasn't been in any kind of relationship since we met to my knowledge what should i do do Sadly, basically, she's afraid that I might hurt her, but she's okay when she knows she will get hurt. She hasn't been in any kind of relationship since we met, to my knowledge. What should I do? Do I keep being friends with her like we are, or do I move on and keep looking? I really do like her a lot, so I'm okay with just being friends, but I don't want to dig myself deeper into the friend zone. Thanks for the advice, bro.

Stay chill and peace out. Logan from Big Time Rush. I love it. Dude, fucking Logan. The animantium. Claws. My animantium dog. What up, dude? I would say Not an animantium heart, though.

True. He's feeling it. He's animantium everywhere except for his heart. Which is the way he should be. Yeah. I would say for this one, this is my gut instinct upon hearing that last part. I wouldn't I think I would distance

myself a little bit from her because if you're going to keep hanging around and staying friends, I mean, if you keep doing what you're doing, if you keep doing what you've been always doing, you can't keep getting what you got. Is that what you said? Hell yeah. Is that right? what you've been always doing you can't keep getting what you got hell yeah uh i was trying to channel denzel washington there um but uh so yeah i would maybe you know give her some space you know let her give her some space

go you know maybe go join eduardo on his fishing trip let her think about you without you being see maybe if, you know, if that the thought of you gets the juices flowing in her. Interesting. That's like what that just me realize is like you got game is hearing that. Me? Yeah, that's like good game. Oh, dude. You know what I mean? You just gave me an animanium.

Fuck it. Dude, no, I always know you have a good game, dude. I always know you have a good game. Were you going to say boner? Yeah. Nice. It's just because i have no game where i'm like do that fuck man for me here's what i'm thinking and chad i want to ask you of where what part of that cued you for that because i'm thinking he he's into this girl right yeah he didn't say like he's thinking about someone else or like hanging out with anyone else or like they're just casually dating no she's his world right now okay then bro chad i gotta go a little bit the other way here i gotta say he needs to sit he needs they need to fucking sit down over a dank cup of french press coffee and he needs to go look you live one life you get hurt you have

highs you have lows one day you get hurt, you have highs, you have lows. One day you're basking in the sun. The next year you're crashed upon the rocks and you got to look up and you got to say, do your worst for, I will do mine. I am Edmond Dante.

No, I am. Yeah. Yeah. No, Edmond Dante's is the man. Edmond Dante's is the count of Monte Cristo, right?

Yeah. He's talking about the kid. He's talking about the kid. He has to let her know, don't be afraid of getting hurt. I, it is zero percent my intention of hurting you. I want to care for you.

I want to be there for you. I don't know what's happened in your past, but in your future, you're looking right at it, and it's these two set of eyes that you're seeing right now. And I want to be looking in those two set of eyes that I'm seeing right now for a long, long time to come. And boom, dude. And you tell her, look, there's no guarantees in life. No one's promised tomorrow. Let's make right now the best that we can. Okay. And let's try to make each day the best that we can going forward. Boom, dude.

Sounds like she's a little scared. She's controlling. It sounds like she has a controlling nature and who doesn't, but hers might be a little bit higher than others. That's probably why she dates guys that she knows that aren't going to go. She knows what she's going to get. She's like, okay, I know what this guy is, so I'm not going to invest my whole heart into him, but I can still have fun. But I think this dude is like, he's like mad at those guys because they're getting more out of it than he thinks he's getting because they get to have the sex and the fun part. And he's like mad at those guys because they're getting more out of it than he thinks he's getting because they get to have the sex and the fun part and he's putting his emotions on the line and not getting that back and and also the the more important stuff that he wants back dude it's like an epiphany but wait you keep going but like i would just she's telling you she's probably

telling you the truth she's probably afraid you might hurt her because she's probably afraid of getting hurt in a relationship so you just gotta and love, I love the speech you gave that was fucking fire and phenomenal. And like, I fell in love with you. And, but I think there's even like a more, uh, laid back way of doing it where you just, you just be like, Hey, that's cool. I understand. Hey, I'm scared too. Relationships are scary. I'm, I'm really on the line. I was like, we can go slow. Yeah. Like if you're going to go further in the friend zone you might but you also might come out of the friend zone that's the risk you're running baby that's what we're all doing

you might get hurt she might get hurt too but you just gotta be like alright I hear you you're afraid so like Chad said if you need a little space I'll give you a little space and then there'll be moments where you move in and then you say hey look I gave you the space but I need to let you know something I like you alright and I know you're afraid I'm gonna hurt you i don't think i'm gonna hurt you

and then you back off whatever you just but just she's i think you're being skeptical of her and you're like upset at her logic but like that's not gonna cut ice being like hey i don't like how you're handling things and i don't like that you bone these other dudes but you won't bum me it's like all right that's gonna freak her out which I understand what you're saying it pissed me off too it pissed me off deeply but you can't you can't be that you can't respond like that to that so you just got to be like look I hear you yeah it's scary and then see how it goes I love that yeah I just I think he's I think he's scaring her off a little bit by being so invested early on that she's like all right this guy loves me so much right now that once I say yes to it, he's going

to realize it's not, it's all it's cracked up to be and then bail. I think that's what girls kind of think when guys come on super strong. Yeah. Is there, like this guy's way too invested. He's like, he doesn't even know what he wants right now. He's just like way too sort of, he's a little too impulsive. I think that's my thought. That makes sense.

And I was assuming that they had like already kind of hooked up and were maybe seeing each other a little bit, but he kind of just has a crush on this girl. Maybe they've made out once and it's not going in. It's not quite going anywhere right now. That's plausible. Yeah. Okay. So my advice might be, if it's not going in it's not quite going anywhere right now it's plausible yeah okay so my advice might be if it's the second thing if you only made out a little bit

and then everything maybe you don't want to say exactly what i said previous i love it though especially if you add a sig into them if you have a say yeah if you got a sig or a jewel then yeah there's a moment for it i mean but this guy the way he's thinking right now he might force that moment when it's not. Like, you gotta be all this stuff could work, but you just gotta pay attention to the other person. They'll tell you what they want or need. You just listen. 100%. Yeah. Could I

propose something? Yeah, of course. I'd say, go on the fishing trip and then come back and deliver, like, a combo of both those speeches while smoking a cig. Yeah. i think you're golden yeah we gave i gave kind of my speech was basically the same as your speech no find the balance language but it was a great language but it wasn't different i loved it and you want to

know my epiphany you made me have an epiphany epiphany do you notice this everybody it's our male gaze we always look and we go man the bad boys always win yeah man the bad boys always telling himself man the bad boys are the best no No, no, no, no, no. The girl is in control of letting that bad boy feel cool to you. She's, because she wants to be in control. Because she knows this is the outcome that's going to happen. And sometimes when you're in a shitty situation in life, you're there, whether you believe it or not. You're kind of there because you want to be there on some weird, strange level,

whether it's subconscious or not. She's going to have casual sex with this guy, knowing it's going to hurt him so much. Of course she's not going to do it. She's a thoughtful person. She's like, look, if I have sex with this guy, like he's a bad boy,

he's going to get hurt like a good guy. Yeah. That's just who you are, dog. That's great. Yeah. That's amazing. Keep being you.

Yeah. Keep being you. It's going to, cause guess what? Those bad boys, you know, they're not going to end up with someone like her. You are.

But, look, you're going to have to just deal with the fact that at some point she was hooking up with some bad boys. That's fine. And, look, you probably, hey, you know, you hook up with bad girls, too. Yeah, you could. And don't do that now. But, I mean, like, you know, do you judge your bros who do that? Maybe, but probably not. Maintain that heart, but also be, you can be bad sometimes, baby.

Yeah, baby. Yeah, let her be bad. You go on that fishing trip, you know? Yeah. You go, you make friends with the crew, you go out, you have a few drinks, see what happens. Watch some John Travolta movies, start smoking cigs. Yes. You're big on the cigs.

I just love the idea. We've been talking about it. I love the idea of Strider starting smoking, because he would just take a drag and then say some ridiculous quote, I think, and he would just be the just take a drag and then say some like ridiculous quote i think it would be he would just be the coolest guy on earth and thank you for smoking they say that cigarettes they needed something for the actors to do in the first talkie movies yeah and they gave him smoking because it just looks so cool yeah yeah i think strider if strider if we were waiting for the pod and we're like where's strider and strider came like waltzing in smoking a cig i

mean it'd be awesome dude i mean it's preoccupation i'm worried about your lungs yeah i'm not i'm not endorsing cigarettes i just think i think the i'm i'm endorsing john travolta and movie use of cigarettes yeah perfect it's so badass looking and honestly if I could have some monolithic jewel from the aliens that I could hit that wouldn't be bad for my lungs, I'd probably do it, dude. Have you ever smoked a cigarette? I've had some gorts, dude, up in SB with the boys, dude, on the balcony.

Did you really? Yeah. Wait, on one of those trips when we were in college, you had some cigarettes? With Gleb, dude. Get the hell out of here. Yeah, Gleb. Dude, Gleb's a fucking cool guy. He's a cool guy. How's he not gonna get you to hit a gourd, dude? Of course. Have we talked about this on the pod that I smoke weed? Yeah, we haven't talked about it. And then you never smoke weed. And we've

lived together and I've tried to convince you to smoke weed with me. Not like, you know, like, you've got to do it all the time. Just once in a while, I'm like, dude, it'd be nice if we could do that together. We go on a bachelor party trip to Mexico with some really cool college baseball player kind of guys. Or actually, that's what they are. I don't know why I said kind of. And I go down the stairs to the bathroom. I've been smoking weed this whole weekend with kind of guys. Actually, that's what they are. I don't know why I said kind of. And I go downstairs to the bathroom. I've been smoking weed this whole weekend with all these guys.

I go upstairs, and I find out Strider smoked weed with these brand new guys. And it's like, who are really cool guys? I get it. And I was like, what, you smoked weed without me? I was devastated. I've been trying to get him to smoke with me for like decades. I felt bad. I never realized where you were

coming from saying that because you want to be like a bonding experience of like oh we'd smoke we'd maybe order a pizza watch a movie it'd be fucking nice and it was your it was like your first time doing it in so long i wanted to be there for that moment and share it with you but to ease your pain like dude i took one little rip and it was like a baby rip it wasn't anything special but like do you feel it i don't even think so i was buzzed i guess in my insecurity i'm like was there something in you like was i coming on too strong with the weed no so like no no no to chad's thing was i putting too much pressure on you to be the guy that you smoked weed with and that's why you went with these other laid-back guys not at all

i think it was the weekend it was a bachelor party it was mexico we're in we're in freaking cabo so i was kind of incidental to the whole thing i mean one of the things there james was so cool it was mexico we're in freaking cabo so i was kind of incidental to the whole thing i mean one of the dudes there james was so cool it was really super hot he's so fucking hot and cool and he was like talking about his like bass fishing boat and i was like that's so tight he's like i know because the props like his prop you can't put it in salt water it erodes the blade so he keeps it mostly in fresh water wow just hearing that him talking about those facts and me really not comprehending any of it but just going like fuck yeah and then he goes you want some of this and i was like yeah dude i do right now and took a little rip and i handed it back and honestly i just wanted me to i don't know he was just too fucking cool and you actually had a really smart move for people who don't smoke weed anymore and this could uh pertain to the

question before this is if you still want to get along with people who smoke weed but you don't smoke weed strider has a very clever kind of move to to kind of uh keep the group vibe going but not actually participate in the dankness and i just say i've got a fat boner that i need to use later dude no i'm kidding wait what's my move i mean you always go they go hey do you want to smoke weed you always go nah but here let me smell it you go let me smell that he goes let me smell that and then he goes he never smokes weed but he'll be hanging hanging out with stunners and he'll go. It's so true. It's so true.

Everyone's like passing around a bong, getting high. The shower be like, wait, hold on. Let me smell that. Dude, I didn't even know that that's what I did did but it's genius because i the smell is a little bit enticing like you kind of like the way it smells oh yeah our buddy austin always gives me crap dude because he knows and he like he's he's a little sly devil that guy and so you're doing it to keep the vibe up that's it it's the vibe and he and but austin knows it's he knows he has the same perception of jt and he knows it's the vibe. So we'll be passing it around.

He'll be like, Strider, smell that? I'll smell it. He goes, no, smell it again. It's puff, puff, pass. Smell, smell, pass. He'll let me smell it twice, and he goes, all right, skip it over. That's amazing, dude. He's the best.

I didn't even realize I did that. It always cracks me up. Hey, dudes. This is a very intense question. No, hold on. Hey, dudes. So I've made step into the drill factory one of my go-to phrases. I actually used it while on a date. My date thought I meant I was building something with tools.

How do I explain to her that I was talking about masturbation and not handiwork without creeping her out? Stay stoked, dudes. Randy. Wow. I mean, look, dude, if I'm being very hyper hyper hyper um literal about this if you haven't already explained it why are you going to go back and explain it look if i sneak out and go teeping i'm not telling my mom yeah i went and went teeping like i'm not gonna tell her what i went and did if she caught me sneaking out he kind of got away with one you got away it'd be

like if you told your mom like hey i demolished like uh the burley's house totally she's like oh you use tools okay great well i i was a helpful misunderstanding well i i i worry about this misunderstanding actually because if if if she thinks that you're if that if she thinks that he's trying to present himself as a sort of a handyman of sorts, like, you know, he's the tool man, Taylor. And she's like, Hey, um, I need some drywall done. You know how to do that, right? You're a hand.

You go to the drill factory a lot. I mean, you know, this guy's going to look, this guy's going to be dead in the water. Yeah. And also, and you never want to be a guy who pretends to be a handy guy but is not or just pretend to be anything you're not right yeah totally and he said step into the drill factory that has like an entrepreneurial spirit to it like maybe he owns the factory or something like that yeah so she's back home telling her friends and family i'm dating this guy who works with his hands and owns like a yeah you know a pretty important drill bit company and then you find

out he just masturbates a lot right even more so maybe it's a religious family oh jesus was a carpenter this guy that i'm seeing now he's a carpenter yeah he's in the drill factory 40 days 40 nights at a time totally you know and she's telling her dad that and her dad's religious maybe even a reverend yeah then he's coming over and he's like uh what yeah honestly the best policy you're right chad maybe he's got to come clean well like imagine this if she's like hey my brother he? Honestly, it's the best policy. You're right, Chad. Maybe he's got to come clean. Well, imagine this. If she's like, hey, my brother, he just got a bunch of new furniture from Ikea

and he's going to have to, you know, he needs a drill. You know guys at a drill factory, right? Right. And then you're like, how do you explain to her brother that, like, he's like, you're telling my sister about the drill factory?

Right. And then her brother thinks that you're just like... And then you're telling my sister about the drill factory right and then her brother thinks that you're just like and then you're in a sam shepard play and the brother might be in love with her on some weird you know taboo level right and then now you're dealing with this kind of like you know blood lust that is super complicated yeah so yeah i'd get i'd nip it in the bud and i'd tell her hey um look i i don't like to be something I'm not. And I think when I'm around you, I tend to brag a little bit cause I want to impress you. And so instead of saying what I should have said, I said, I step into the drill factory, which made you think I was

good with tools and maybe had a company built around tools. But the truth is I jack off. That's, that's exactly right. I mean, JT even worse. Yeah. Yeah, dude. I just stared at her. I mean, do you think... You don't have to say more than that. You know, you laid all your cards on the table. Take it or leave it.

It's up to her at that point. You're role-playing. Wow, JT, you took me to the Rainforest Cafe? You got me a lobster? This is beautiful. Yeah, checks on me this time. All that money I make from the drill factory. I got to see this drill factory, JT.

You're telling me so much about it. I love that you're so good with tools. Yeah, come over for... Does she know at this point that I mean jacking off? No. Oh. factory jt you're telling me so much about it i i love that you're so good with tools yeah come over for does she know at this point that i mean jacking off no oh this is the where you're oh you took her to rainforest cafe because you're gonna explain it to her honey that's actually nice that you brought that up because it's something i've been wanting to clarify when i said drill factory i didn't mean like a workplace with tools that i'm handy with where I build and make things. I actually meant that I'm a pervert and that I masturbate to some sick stuff. To what?

You know, cuckolding stuff. Big guy doing work on someone I love. Me watching, kind of helpless, but also kind of in charge of the event at the same time. And yeah, it makes me bust like no other. It's a little off-putting to other people, but I can't help but bring it up in casual conversations. It happened on the date and I spoke in a euphemism because I guess I wanted to disassociate a little bit

from the depth of my perversions. But the truth is that I'm about as dark as it gets, sweetie. And when it comes to what makes me pop, it's typically something that's transgressive and it's something that's going to take some getting used to, unless you're my person, in which case you're right there with me and you got this thing too.

You got this same twisted thing too. Do you have the same twisted thing too? I love that. Don't fuck with me. I know a guy who can drill me right now. Hey guys, here's your check. Take your time. I was the waiter. Yeah, but you're also, I think you're also the guy who could do the drilling. Oh, oh yeah. And by the way, I run a jiu-jitsu studio and I have very flexible hips.

I love that. What's your name? It was Strider Wilson. Yeah, Strider Wilson. Nice. Look, I get off at 10. Can you bring some of that melted butter? Absolutely.

Yeah, they got that stuff by the truckload out back let me tell you um while you're watching me absolutely um treat your no no no say something more aggressive than that don't get uncomfortable hey this is you're in a role here while you're watching me absolutely jackhammer your date later. Amp it up. Yes. Okay, okay. Yes. While you're watching me.

Yes. Absolutely drop an atomic nut into your date later. Yes. But what's that going to do? When you're watching me, absolutely. Yes. Absolutely do the all spark snap. Yes. Absolutely do the all spark, snap. Yes.

And send your freaking date back into time and space via fat, fat, fat multi-Os. A cosmic oblivion. He's going to send me to the space time. You're going to wipe out half the population. Half the population. He's going to send me to the space time continuum. Yep. I'm going to send her there with my with my fat

fat thick girthy joe mauricey size dong do you want me to box up your burger so you can enjoy it while you watch i know you have half left that'd be lovely sounds good i want to kiss you now and i think that's that could happen yeah that can happen is that cool with you it's all cool with me and jt. I gotta tell you something This guy would never be future drilling me if it wasn't for your honesty about the drill factory. Boom teller dude Let me tell you something more. I can't wait to have your know. You got more. I got more Oh this this stud is verbose. You guys are on date on a Monday night at 7 p.m Rainforest Cafe is DED

Come 8.30. Manager goes home early. We can fuck in the jungle if you guys want to. We're in the jungle. Hey, you're the lion. You say what happens, dog. I'm Baloo. Oh. I'm a cuddly bear.

Come snuggle in this uh, seated region. Like like i'm gonna sit like this people get mad at me for putting my feet in shit i'm gonna sit like this come sit in this i love that come sit in this yeah i'll sit right there i'll sit right there wait pump the brakes pump the brakes i think you gotta pay attention to the lady you can't get you can't get that destroyed very true very true all right we got we got one more question before uh socially distance winter formal hey what up dudes my name is olin i'm from utah so my school is having an outdoor socially distance winter formal and it's tradition to ask your date with a big gesture. Should I ask my date by busting out of a cake,

maybe nude or doing donuts in front of her house and then dropping the hammer? Thanks bros. Wow. Good question. He's, he definitely busting out of the cake nude and doing donuts. It's good spectacle, but I don't know if it's specific enough to the woman you're trying to woo. Unless she has mentioned to you that that's like stuff that works for her.

She likes like derbies or something? Yeah. So if you're going to, I think just make it more specific to her. So if you're popping out of the cake nude, maybe write something on your body like this body belongs to you. Or if you're doing donuts in front of her house which i think this is better you write her name in the donuts yeah i think that's fantastic um i was thinking you know because like busting out of a cake nude is so it's kind of played out to be quite frankly with you guys.

Right. And I remember I was at the state fair and I saw this ride where you could do, like, a safe straight up just drop. You know, it's not even bungee, just drop into a net. So maybe you could do something like that where it's, like, you drop naked into, like, a giant cake and it, like you drop naked into like a giant cake and it like explodes. And then like, and then you have like a banner flying above that says like, will you get a winter formal with me? Maybe.

Love that. It's genius. Yeah. I did a lot more to it. Yeah. Yeah. Cause I think you get your nude body, you get cake,

you get frosting and you have a big spectacle and and she'll know that you a have no fear um b you're willing to go the extra mile and c um you know she'll just see you nude that's awesome i think it's a good move i mean you want it to be something unique to her like is she a cheerleader does she is she in band what sport does she play you know you can all you can factor all of these things in it sounds like he's a big exhibitionist on being he wants to be nude and possibly doing some donuts donuts for me i'm down if you can write her name but that's some precision driving and i don't know he's a teenager he's probably only had his license for so long I'm not sure he can handle it unless he grew up go-kart racing. He's gonna be a Formula One driver

So in that case, you know, anyone can get in their birthday suit I'm thinking you know, dude, you got to just be there do something early Do something in the driveway do something where the dad the parents their whole family can see it so they can talk about it for Time to come you want to be a nice little memory, you know, their whole family can see it so they can talk about it for time to come. You want it to be a nice little memory. You know, it's a little informal. You know, prom would be even better. But like I'm saying bump some tunes.

You know, Peter Gabriel comes to mind, but it doesn't have to be that. It could be some EDM, something sick. And then, you know, maybe you just put a cake over your dong and it's like reverse nude style. And you're like, you know, you just say something. You got to have something clever. Like clever like you know it's winter formal like you know the only thing that's gonna keep me warm because you're wearing no clothes is like i don't know is is gonna be you and like this this little tiny slice of cake that i have that's only me you might be a fat slice of cake depending on your hog size i don't know dude i just lost track of everything i was just thinking about my dad

really yeah um should we get into the next part yeah i said one more thing dad because i think maybe i could have gotten too big up there maybe you just walk up to your house nude that's cool yeah yeah because that's like come as you are. Like, nothing added, nothing fake. Just, hey, I'm here vulnerable. Yeah, nude with flowers. It's got a Notting Hill vibe to it. You know, I know I'm like a movie star, but at the end of the day, I'm just a girl standing in front of a boy asking him to love her. You say the same thing, but you say instead of movie star, you say, I'm just a dude with a little dong.

And you say, give me, I'd like a reason to wear a suit this winter. And I'd like it to be to go to a dance with you. Dude, that's a fire line. Otherwise I'll be naked. Yeah. That's it. The only reason, the only way I'm wearing a suit is if I go to winter formal with you. Yeah.

And then you're butt naked at her door. And your whole family's there. Hopefully they don't have underage kids. And then you show up to winter formal and you're naked. You go, I wore my birthday suit. Oh oh even better with just like a bow tie so you follow the regulations of school because you gotta wear a tie yeah sorry dude you can't keep me out also this school that's still doing winter formal despite the fact that covet is like rampant is a little irresponsible but i mean i don't know i don't know what state they're in. Everything's state-by-state. Might not be CA.

All right, let's keep pushing. Chad, what is your beef of the week? My beef of the week is, my beef of the week is the guy who wouldn't let us see the house on Saturday. I assume it was the owner. You have a place up for sale. It's been on the market. You want to sell it.

And what do you do on a Saturday when people are probably going to come see it? You drill yourself inside of it. You turn it into the drill factory. And then you turn away a nice applicant. I'm a good tenant. I'm a good tenant. I have a little dong um so you know i'm not going to destroy the place um and you answer the door shirtless and and you act weird and you know i just want to know what he was doing in there

it's curious for sure and he forced me to negotiate so that's my beef dude good beef i'm sure strider what's your beef um my beef of the week is with the moan boys and to preserve their integrity and also not give them the honor of being mentioned on this straight-up dank podcast, they'll be known as the Moan Boys. And it's three dudes, a triumvirate of tyranny, in our fantasy league that are telling me that I am breaking a rule by intentionally not setting a defense. And defenses, if you play regularly in fantasy football can and is the most likely position to get you negative points um there's a rule in our league that says you

can't tank so you have to set your lineup right they've included the word full i don't know if that's written down we don't write our rules and i was i joined the league late so i don't know if that's written but the reason that rule exists is to prevent tanking, so guys won't set their lineup, and therefore, you know, I don't know why they would do this, but just kind of bone someone over so someone else gets in the playoffs and they lose. Like, it's a rule. You must set your lineup at its highest level to win, right?

That's what full means to me. I said, I'm trying to get in the playoffs right now. Usually I'm a dominator, but I took a bad beat. I drafted Taylor and some other guys got hurt and blah, blah, blah. I'm not making excuses. And I drafted Fatnit and that didn't work out and that was a bad move. I can stick to that. I got to eat crow on that, okay?

But look, if I'm making a play and announcing to my league before that weeks of play begins i am intentionally not setting my d that i would of which i do not like the matchup and i believe they will get negative points and i'm trying to win i think it gives me the best chance of winning that is not tanking so the the Moan Boys are using a rule that was put in place to prevent tanking and using a technicality against me making a move trying to win. Unjust, unfair, I will not stand for tyranny. They want to fine me $100, and I refuse to pay the $100. Look, I'll say it right now.

I'm being stubborn. I've been annoying. I've. I'm being, look, I'll say it right now. I'm being stubborn. I've been annoying. I've come at them on the thread. I'll say that. I'll say all those things. But I'm standing up for what I believe in, and Honest Man's Pillow is his integrity. Sorry, the Stratters GF wine is getting to me a little bit. It's nice.

It hits different. And I got to tell you, fuck you, Moan Boys. Well, and then the, well said, all of it. And then if you don't pay the fine, the typical thing that happens next after that is you get banned for the season. So you're willing to lose out on next season to stick to your guns on this. So you're willing to lose out on next season to stick to your guns on this. And that's why I called you yesterday kind of imploring you to just pay the fine. Even if you disagree with it, just pay the fine because we need you in the league.

We need you on the text thread. Because guys who get kicked out of the league and stay on the text thread, they don't contribute. And you're a huge contributor. You're a consistent contributor. I love this guy. I love the league. In all respects as a friend. And then the trip to Utah for the fantasy draft. Are you still going to come if you're not in the league?

It's like not celebrating Christmas. I mean, I would hope guys wouldn't hold a grudge and I would still get the invite and I'd be there and hang out. I would gladly go. But it's going to be different. If you're not part of the draft, it's not going to be the same experience. I know. I know. Just pay the fine, dog.

Look, I can't say that right now in real time just because I can't get held down on anything. My opinion is this. From where I'm coming from, where I, you know, you read from where you stand. If somebody pre-announced that they were going to do what I do, and I know the counter-argument is

you're only saying that because it's what you want, but truly truly if someone was like i want to bench a quarterback or a receiver because i think they're going to get zero or negative or like it's rare receiver would get it really only defense gets that position or maybe a kicker really if they were like oh i want to bench a kicker because i think they're going to get negative this week i would not care because it's them trying to win if they're not benching the kicker because if they bet if they don't switch out someone on bye or they don't play someone because they're not trying to win

or they're being remiss, negligent, or collusion, then yeah, that rule should be intact. That's why it exists. All right, dude, I agree with you. I think it's strategy, and I think it's innovative strategy. Thank you. And it's desperate strategy, I admit. And I think it should be allowed.

I think it should be allowed. Thank you for saying that. It's huge of you to say. I didn't even want you to have to say that. And I don't want to disagree with the triumvirate. You know what I mean? Because those guys are my dogs. One of them is more than my dog. They're great guys, yeah. But I agree with you. But I think you're missing the forest through the trees. You're going to

die on this anthill fighting over this one misapplication of a rule when really what you want, we could fight for a better league and we could get these rules changed next season, but the small amount of shit you got to eat now is just paying that fine. But then I'm reading the Barack Obama book. What if he didn't, and he's conning me with his coolness, but what if you got to fix the system from within it, dog? You can't just be out of the game.

Then you can't change anything. Then you can't have the league you want. We can fight for the league you want. You've just got to pay this fine at this moment. Yeah, do I lose a battle to win the war? I'm close to it right now. But you lose the war. I know.

It's a ways out. I'm not saying, look, I want to be in the league. That's my want. They know that. They've got the trump card I love this league it's better than Christmas Christmas for me is

you know it's a duty I gotta buy people gifts I don't have a little kid or anything like that so it's like I love it I love the league

it just hurts we'll see dude can I just say something if you get kicked out you can join my WSL Fantasy Surf League. Are you for real? I'm for real right now.

Well, I'll, I mean, I don't want to, I got FOMO already. I mean, fucking, does it typically go on during the fall and winter? Yeah. It goes on from February to December. So, February to December. So February to December. That's how long the surf season is? Gold Coast near the end of February. Dude, I'll join right now.

To Pipe Master. Although the schedule's changing this year, but it starts at the Pipe Masters this year. I think in December, and then it's going to end at Trestles. September? I mean, oh, in September? We should go to Tres Rios.

So it kind of won't. It won't fill the void because it takes place in the perfect time. It honestly supplants me. Honestly, I'd like to join no matter what because I'm not doing anything that time of year. Yeah, we got Colby in there. We got Trey. We got Dorfman.

Oh, fuck yeah, dude. Good dudes. Dude, hard hitters. Yeah. I mean, has there been any conflict in that league over rules and just people, you know, disagreeing on that shit? Colby and Trey were, they were beefing pretty hard over Kolohe and Dino, over who got to draft him.

And, you know, Colby said because he because he you know surfs with him here and there that he and they got fucked up that one time they got fucked up that one time and uh you know together he ripped some bong loads with colo hey and and they just they talked about um that you know stephen hocking joe rogan no uh that would have been amazing that would be a great that neil the grit that neil degrasse rogan would have been like so do you hit kettlebells yeah that neil degrasse tyson rogan episode yeah uh they really talked about that for a while dude degrasse tyson was brutal in that one dude yeah he cut him off so much i know and i think they talked about that too

oh they did i think colo had good had good perspective on that and he was like you know i'm down with rogan but uh in that instance like um i thought you know i'm down with neil but in that instance i thought you know he was just a little bit too he's trying to flex too hard and he's trying to be too much of a celebrity astrophysicist and it's like dude just like you know go back to your planetarium and just like think dude let Let us miss you a little bit, dude. Let us think you're out of our solar system for a while, so we need you back. There's this super kind of Rogan just rolling his eyes every time he cuts them off. Really?

And Rogan's just like... Well, Joe, that's why you got to think. You know, it's... I know more than I don't know. And that makes you really think. That's a good impression. Yeah, you got it. That's good.

Keep going. Dude, I can edit it. He's like, you see the sun, right? The sun is one billion times bigger than the earth. Okay? And we're in just one galaxy out of trillions of galaxies in the universe and then there's a multiverse parallel universes knocking against each other what's going on there and that's why

i don't know that's why i cut you off you got to what he is though oh thanks you got to the pomposity dude the pomposity freaking yeah freaking mount volk mount pompeii dude i don't feel bad because you know other people in that line of work when they see him they're just like this is the motherfucker yeah yeah oh i liked it at first too you know because we all like a cool scientist but then at some some point, the coolness was just like, he was feeling himself too much. Yeah. Yeah. No, when I first heard him, I was like, dude, this guy's awesome.

He's bringing science to the masses and stuff. And now I'm like, this guy's annoying. That's pretty much what I thought. That's where I'm at, too. Yeah. Aaron, who's your Beef of the Week? Question for Strider. What is?

Regarding your beef. Yes. Can you in this league not drop your defense and pick up one that's a better matchup for you? Okay, so I can. And I bid on actually other defenses, but was outbid. Uh-huh. And the defenses that were left weren't a four-team and league.

There's 32 teams in the league, so there's only four defenses on waivers. Oh, yeah. And I felt in my heart of hearts all those matchups sucked and they might get negative points. Yeah.

And guess what? All of them got positive points. Oh. So it was a bad decision by me, but I should have the right to make

that decision if it's a decision based on strategy and in order to win. Yeah, you're still trying to win. Exactly. Yeah i was triter thank you legend um all right dude my b oh sorry aaron you're being the week my b for the week is the movie dune it sucks yeah it's a weird ass it sucks is that out already no no david lynch the you want? The David Lynch one? The original 84 version of David Lynch's. I mean, they took a big swing.

And I never for once thought it was set on Earth, which is good. If you're doing a movie that takes place on several different planets. But it's not good. Yeah, it's terrible. Yeah. Little kids' eyes, all that shit that shit you're like what is this yeah what why did you go with special effects for eyes rather than just i don't know contact lenses yeah so dumb yeah great the book which i was told was required to read for a actually a history

class because it's like about the spice trades and stuff um i never really read all of it but like it was amazing you read some i read some but didn't get through all of that i quit everything oh maybe 30 maybe maybe i have to make an opinion maybe that's what i was gauging um yeah the new dune looks legit too didn't even in a way directing with that monster cast we'll yeah that that movie had a monster cast too i mean we'll we'll see i think it's in better hands for sci-fi with the with the new director uh i think maybe lynch was over his head of course he makes a cameo in the movie too yeah and he was kind of a smaller filmmaker i mean still is you know he doesn't make like big budget stuff so that was him like yeah it's crazy to think that they he did the elephant man and

then they gave him dune right that's almost like that safety not guaranteed guy getting jurassic park or whatever yeah jurassic world yeah and you're like dude come on come on he ain't exactly shown the ability to do this kind of thing yet yeah but he pulled that off i think the power of marketing to call it trevino to that guy. Trevor wrote. Yeah. Yeah. Doing fantastic for fantastic. Fuck up. No, there's no way to do fantastic for right flame on.

It's just too cheesy. Cause the main guy, what's, what's, what's the main doc, Dr. Fantastic. What's his name?

Mr. Richard's. Yeah. Like a guy, if your main character is, if his superpower is that he's stretchy Is that, can he make that look cool? I think he can, but it's hard

If it's a fucking porno And it's his dick Right And then it's Fantastic Fuckfest, which I almost said the first time But then I realized it wouldn't work Yeah, that's cool And do you feel like Dune is kind of like Don Quixote Where it's just one of those

It's one of those things that is kind of a, it's so big. It's just kind of got difficult juju on it for any filmmaker. It's probably better off as a mini series at this point, especially with all the streaming services that can do that now. Yeah. I mean, if you've got a book that dense,

why, why try to do it in one, at least do a trilogy or something, but I don't know. I don't know who could have sat through another episode of that. Yeah. It's crazy to me. Sting was good, though.

I'll go to bat for Sting. I thought he was good in the movie. He's amazing. My Beef of the Week is with Danny Amendola, who I really respect. I first saw him on hard knocks when he was a low draft pick or undrafted rookie wide receiver

trying out for the Cowboys, and he balled out. That was a team of big personalities. Terrell Owens, Tony Romo, Roy Williams. He stood out for his dedication to his craft and for being tough on the field and playing above expectations. But so then I discovered this whole thing that he dated Olivia Culpa,

who the song Jealous is about by Nick Jonas, which is legit, good song. And they dated, dating Mandolin and her dated. And I guess at some point they were having hard times and she was maybe hooking up with some other dudes. So he came out on Instagram and said, I believe there should be a boundary between private life and social media.

Olivia believes in a fishbowl lifestyle. This fundamental difference was huge in our relationship. And then he goes on to say like why he doesn't like the Hollywood life. And then he talks about how he fucked up a lot and how she fucked up. And then he says, and then he says

the universe brought her and I together to enjoy life, love, and learn. We celebrated that as often as we could and the sex was fucking crazy too. She gets so mad at me for not posting her on social media but I think this shit is sometimes fake, sometimes toxic, but sometimes beautiful. This is weird because he's posting all of this

on social media and he talked about their sex life. And then he goes on to say We've been on and off for a long time And not together as of late I guess he kind of messed up and maybe hooked up with another girl Not sure what's in the future But the only thing I care about For her is her happiness

And if that's dancing with scrawny little fucks So be it The scrawny little fuck that he's referencing Is Zedd The DJ Zedd i guess they danced at coachella and that's what set him off oh really yeah they dance that's it there was like photos of them together like uh having a good time i haven't done i should have done a deeper dive but i think that's what it was and then i guess daniel mendoza also posted videos on instagram of

like um pulp fiction where bruce willis is like is like, he's like, he's like, I got the bike from Zed and his wife's like, who's Zed? And then he's like, Zed's dead, baby. And then I guess he flipped the camera to himself and he was flexing his abs in the photo. Yeah. But here's the thing. I don't know Zed that well.

I think we only really hung out with him once at, at a party. And then, um, but we, and we did like a promo for his, uh, Zed in the park thing, but Zed's my dog. So Danny Amendola, I'm beefing with you, bro. If you got issues with Zed, you got issues with me. Look, Danny Amendola will fuck me up. Danny Amendola will fuck me up. But Zed's my guy.

You know? This guy's had a lot of concussions. You catch him right, he might go down. I've always wanted to be deputized into action where I can do something, like something aggressive on behalf of someone else. Like remember that time when those ladies were trying to get into that apartment in our apartment building?

Oh, yes. And I needed someone to kick down the door. And they were like, hey, can you kick down the door? And I was like, are you sure you want me to do this? And I wasn't going to do it. And then they said, there's a baby inside. We can't get to the baby. I was like, there's a baby?

And I booted the door. It was a weak door, but I booted it down. It was one kick. It was badass. It felt amazing. It was fucking cool. And then some guys came around the corner and they ran into the house.

So the way I've rationalized it to myself is that she was in a bad relationship and she needed to get her stuff out of the apartment while the guy was gone. Yeah. But that's also the most heroic version I can tell. No, I think it was right. And I just don't think it was cool that Danny Amendola put all this out there like the way he did. He was a buster.

He's talking about, oh, I don't like a fishbowl lifestyle, like separation of social media. Then he uses social media in this way. It's like, what are you doing, dude? What are you talking about? Implicit as fuck. The idea of just posting anything like that is just nauseating to me. Yeah, bro. Come on, dog.

You wouldn't do that. Never. Dude, but you know who she's dating? Christian McCaffrey. Nice. So she upgraded. She went from a solid white football player to maybe the greatest white skill position player in history. Totally.

I mean, unless you go to the 50s, which you can't for a variety of reasons. But that's also what they said about McCaffrey in that hard knock season. His teammates were like, dude, if you were in the 50s, man, you'd be the best player ever. To Amendola, it was hilarious when he was running special teams. Dude, it's funny, too. There's just still this residual racism towards white skill position players in my head. Whenever McCaffrey had stopped short on third and one, I'm like, that's what happens when you have a white running back.

But he's clearly, at this point, he's superseded the label. Yeah. And redefined the position for white kids in the future. Yeah. of a white running back but he's clearly at this point he's superseded the label yeah and redefine the position for white kids in the future yeah if you're a white running back now in high school you got somebody you can look up to yeah which is a weird thing to be talking about but totally chad who's your babe of the week uh my baby of the week is mike bertolina dude nice call over dude Mike Bertolino. Dude. Nice call. Long over, dude. Yeah. He runs all things comedy. He's a legend.

We all went out golfing with him on Sunday. He set it up. It was epic. It was... We tee time at 6.20 a.m., so we had our 18 holes, golfed. We golfed well, and we were done by like 11 a.m. Rest of the day ahead of us. Amazing. And he's just an awesome guy.

Nicest guy ever. Coolest dude. And it's just so fun seeing him around here, the podcast studio. And also playing golf with him. He's so passionate about golf. He's like a great guy to golf with. Just like the most fun. Dude, brought Bloody Marys.

Brought Bloody Marys. Brought the mix brought the vodka put him i never that was my first bloody mary yeah i'm 32 that was my first bloody mary it's crazy but i liked it i really enjoyed it he really made sure it was a fun experience for all of us and i was like hey do you mind if i like smoke this cbd joint he's like i don't mind if you smoke a weed joint and that was the green light i needed yeah he was awesome. To get that green lit up. We owe JT five bucks. that par 3 is 17?

Yeah, we came into the hole and I was like, we gotta put some cash on this. And I needed that because I played the worst by about 20 strokes. So I needed to have a moment. I appreciate you guys doing this on the par 2. That means a lot to me. You fucking hit it true. The rule was you gotta get on the green. Closest ball to me. You fucking hit it true. Thanks, guys. The rule was you got to get on the green.

Closest ball not on the green doesn't win. JT, he was dancing. I remember there was one. Someone hit, and I don't think you saw where it went, and it was like some of our drives were just like there's just some. It's a tough course, so some just went straight into the crap. If you've got to slice your OB every time. And you didn't see where it went, and you're like, sounded pure.

Yeah, a lot of positivity. A lot of positivity. It went just straight to the root. And Mike was spearheading that, too. I was really impressed with how positive he was out there and how much about good vibes he was. You play sports with him, Aaron. Is he like that in softball, too?

Oh, yeah, yeah, definitely. Yeah, he's so positive. You can tell's like competitive but like in a very healthy way yeah there's there's no there's no asshole in him it's great yeah totally he's the man yeah he's a babe and dude on the we have a little cute story we got to 18 you know we're coming into the clubhouse and we get to the t-box yeah all rip our drives, and then we see these other guys going straight through the fairway where our shots are. And we're like, what are these fucking guys doing? Why are they overlapping on our shots? And it turned out we were hitting the wrong way. We were hitting on the whole 13.

Yeah, we were hitting on the 13. We were on the blues. The blacks were in front of us. And then we all got to flip around and take another tee shot. And we were all so psyched because there were these guys on our ass the entire time. And we of us, and then we all got to flip around and take another t-shirt. And we were all so psyched because there were these guys on our ass the entire time, and we're like, wow, we caught up. We caught up to the guys in front of us.

And then we realized, like, nah, dude, those are just guys on hole 13. We almost killed some randos who are now behind us. Dude, these golf carts, too, which is so great that they have the yardage readers in them with their LCD screens, but it keeps me like, you were nine minutes behind your scheduled time. I'm like, bro, I'm trying to chill.

This is golf. Yeah, dude. There's dudes out there that are intense, man. And old dudes. I've never seen old dudes move more quickly in my life, dude. These guys are crazy. I don't mean to be ageist, sorry, but these guys are fucking cruising, dude. Yeah.

Fast. You know what's interesting about golf, too? Of any kind of activity you do with someone, a lot of it is figuring out what the other because everyone has different golf etiquette everyone has like different like what do they play as a gimme how many mulligans do you get all that stuff and a lot of the bonding over golf is like figuring out how you all follow the rules like to what letter of the law you follow the rules and which rules you apply harshly and which ones you kind of fluid with i think i think a big one is how many how many uh shots or strokes you cap it at a hole if you have a just terrible hole and be like no let's give you seven you had like 10 you know i think that's that's

huge for me the big one is if you don't make it past the reds i'm gonna see your cock oh the dick out i'm gonna see it or not see it with my little pecker right depends where i'm at yeah if i'm way up where i fucking bombed it yeah dude you were the you and mike tied for low man of the day we did we did look at your sick smile right can we get a close-up of this sick smile look at this dude if you're listening you might be if listening, you might be able to hear my smile. There was a moment, like, I was playing so shitty that if I had a halfway decent shot, you guys were like, good stuff, dude. And there was a part of me that wanted to be like,

don't fucking patronize me, bro. Then I had to be like, bro, they're just being supportive. You suck. Yeah. It was early as fuck, man. It took a while. It took a few holes to get warmed up. Yeah, we got out there early.

Strider, who's your baby of the week? My baby of the week, dude, has got to be my GF. Dude, she's the best. She bounced back because she took a big swing and a miss on the first set of sconces that we ordered to hang in our apartment. And they were just a little bit protruding. Didn't really fit the room. Kind of dominated the space. And then she just ordered this new set of sconces and she had a fire call because dude, we've had just nightmare scenarios of trying

to drill into our drywall in our one bedroom, even using wall anchors. And honestly, dude, screw wall anchors. I'm not using them anymore. Dude, they're tough. They're difficult to deal with. She goes, we're buying nails. Let's just go buy nails and hammer these things in here. We bought nails. we anchored those sconces to the wall so easily just using nails they felt sturdy they're looking good and i'm it's great we're watching freaking movies crushing movies in good mood lighting my gf can crush her novel under some dank sconces so fired up she just had a great call nice Nice. Yeah. Aaron, who's your baby of the week? My baby of the week is, do you guys know Andy Wood?

Andy Wood was one of the founders of Bridgetown Comedy Festival. Oh, yeah. He's a comedian and a podcaster as well. And he was just on Jeopardy. Whoa. He was on all week last week because he won four days in a row. He was this close, this close to winning his fifth day in a row and qualifying for the Tournament of Champions. He won $94,000.

Wow. Nice. Over the course of five days. He lost to a guy he actually knew, which is pretty crazy. I think because of COVID, the player pool is a little smaller and it's mostly local. So he knew the that he lost two um but guy was a buzzsaw he he took over the game and and won it easily but andy put down all the money he could uh on final jeopardy and and got the answer right and it just wasn't enough

um but also i want to give him credit because in some of the earlier, well, in all of the games, basically anytime he hit the daily double, he daily doubled good, especially in round one. You got to do it. Yeah.

Make it a true daily double because you can make it back if you, if you fail and he only missed it. He didn't even, he never missed when he went full daily double. He only missed one where it went like half of what he had, and he missed it. But he still made that back and won that game. So mad respect to Andy Wood,

and he got to be there when Trebek was still hosting. So that's amazing, too. That's awesome. Yeah, I was wondering about that. How many more Trebek episodes are there? Until Christmas Day. That's cool. That's nice.

Yeah. Dude, my baby of the week is coffee. I hadn't drank caffeine for like a year, and before that it was mostly black tea, and then I just got back on the coffee train. I mean, this stuff is tremendous. It really is. I think of all the drugs you can do, coffee might be in the top three. Oh, yeah. I put it up there.

I've never done heroin. And I don't plan to but i'd put coffee up there yeah dude a morning cup and i'm already hooked like if i don't have coffee in the morning i feel a little out of sorts then i get that cafe in me and i'm like oh yeah it's a coffee thank you nice hot cup in the morning just the way it feels going out and the way you feel holding it oh yeah nothing better it works it's kind of like you're saying with like the cigarettes like it just coffee and cigarettes like the jim jarmusch movie yeah there's something to those things yeah but be careful with all things um chad who's your legend of the week uh my legend of the week is is kevin fart oh um he's been he helped me with the he helped me become a negotiator, which I was, you know, JT's like, how's it going with the negotiating?

I'm like, it's against my nature, you know, but I'm psyched to flex this muscle because I think it's valuable. So I just want to give him a shout out for helping me, you know, think it's valuable um so i just want to give him a shout out for for helping me you know step into a larger sack um and embrace you know my nuts a little bit and sort of stand my ground and i probably lost the place but you know i feel good about it and i think you know that's probably it's written in the stars it's what the universe wanted they're like you know you got dudes drilling themselves in there you got weird things across the street. You need to find another place.

And Kevin helped me do that. And you're the rare alpha. And I don't even like using those terms, but you're the rare alpha. Oh, thank you. Who likes, like, learning from, like, well, who will be subordinate in the pursuit of learning more. Oh, dude, thanks, man. That's like the ideal alpha, I guess. Kevin was talking to me of learning more? Oh, dude, thanks, man. Yeah. That's like the ideal alpha, I guess.

Kevin was talking to me like I was his little brother. And he liked it. I thought it was hilarious. Yeah. He's like, you need to have some balls. I'm not going to help you because you need to learn this shit. I was like, yes, dude. Like, you keep beating me up, dude, over the phone.

Yeah. But I appreciate that, man. Thank you. For sure. Also, Kevin and phone. Yeah. But I appreciate that, man. Thank you. For sure. And also, Kev and I have been on the Twitch stream a little bit. You got in there, too. Yeah, it was fun, dude. And we got Dub on Saturday. And we got a bag house, which is like we got the most wanted contract.

And then he was just bagging me. People came in, and I know they got weirded out before they killed us because he was just bagging me. People came in and I know they got weirded out before they killed us because he was just bagging my face. And we got a double bag, which means we got two dudes down at the same time. And we were both bagging them at the same time. So check out the

Twitch because I have a camera on my face now. It's DeepChad. That's my username so you can watch us dominate Verdansk. Legit beast. Strider, who's your legend of the week? Dude, my legend of the week's got to be my tank top

because I've been throwing around those 35 pound dumbbells in my apartment and I've just been wearing my tank top around all the time. I don't think I've washed it for a few weeks. I don't even care, dude. Got it from playing Cypress Shores Volleyball Tournament

where I have one of the worst records and worst outings of all time annually. But I've just been wearing that around. And, dude, when I got that tank top, our buddy Tom bought it for us. And he's like, you guys are all XLs, right? Just thinking that we're all buff dudes. I'm like, no, I'm probably a medium. I'm probably extra medium. I'm between large and medium, you know, cause I'm lean. And honestly, right now I told myself, dude, this is advice to anyone out there.

When you buy a tank top, dude, buy it one size too big and then make it your duty to fill that thing out. And I'm starting to fill out that tank top dude i'm filling it out dude it's all lats it's traps trying to get girthy in that upper girdle feels nice dude pull it off dude can i can i tell you something i aren't your christmas gift not purchased yet but already purchased in terms of what's going to go down what what number are you thinking 50 no dude i don't know if i can handle it yet for thrusters not purchased yet, but already purchased in terms of what's going to go down. What number are you thinking? 50.

No. Dude, I don't know if I can handle it yet for thrusters, though. You didn't think you could handle 35. It's true. I'm throwing around 35s right now, dude. I'm throwing them around. I'm stretching right now. I don't know if you can hear it.

Because here's the thing. If we go 45, you're already there. And our boy Brooks is throwing around 50s, and he's longer than I am. I can't let him put around more weight than me oh he's strong he's always had fucking he looks good dude he looks amazing and he puts his little workout vids to jazz music dude yeah it's cool he's cool he's cool he's cool

he's cool he's got taste he's cool to go with that for you know what it's the harry styles thing if you're harry styles if you're a freaking tank beast performer and you stomp the runway the way he does in the drag me down music video one of the all time star moments I've ever seen

in that sort of context you can wear a dress bro wherever the hell you want 100% 100% Aaron here's your legend of the week my legend of the week

is the show The Mandalorian oh dude I've been watching it dude I'm just I'm just loving it every week I wish

I wish they'd come i wish i wish they'd come out faster i wish they'd come out so i could binge it all um but every week it's just it's just awesome baby yoda's getting a little more uh a little more active he's doing a little more saying some more stuff doing some more stuff it's a truly truly adorable um i think i know where it's gonna go i think i know the season's gonna end but uh i won't think I know where it's going to go. I think I know how the season's going to end, but I won't share that.

But it's great. I love it. The theme song gets stuck in my head. It's awesome. It's so good. It's like a Western in Star Wars.

That's a good combo. Space Cowboys, baby. Let's go. Yeah. Dude, Maya, I'm going to add a legend of the week real quick.

It's the Cypress Shores volleyball tournament. First year I played in it, Tom, our buddy dude uh my i'm gonna add a legend of the week real quick it's the cypress shores volleyball tournament oh uh first year i played in it i uh tom our buddy who brings us down there did some chicanery and he was like he said he told everybody that i was better than my friend danny because i could set a little bit but danny's probably better than me anyways but this guy who i won't say his name so he picks me before danny and i and i go up to him and i go what do you expect from me he's like he's like you going to be like the best player on the team. I go, I can't do that. I'm like, you got fooled. I was like, we got to pick my buddy, Danny. No one knows he's good.

I'm like, we got to pick him. He goes, no, I got to pick my daughter. I go, do you want to win? He goes, yeah. I go, you got to pick Danny. This guy's so competitive. He walks over to his daughter. He's like, Hey, do you mind if I don't pick you? She's like 17. So I'm just like, no, I don't give a shit. He comes back, he's like, let's get Danny. And Danny was swinging hammers the whole day. His legs ended up getting tired, because we set him probably 400 times through the course of the day,

but he took us deep into the tournament. I think we got like fourth or fifth, so all credit to that guy for loving to just ball at the highest level so hard that he turned his back on his own kin. And then my legend of the week that I had planned is the movie Speed Racer. I think it's super dope, done by the Wachowskis. And there's this moment in it that really makes the whole movie come together for me

where Speed Racer is talking to this corporate tycoon who kind of runs the racing industry. And he's like, no, I know racing is important. I know it's meaningful. I know it can change lives. Because after my brother died, my dad and I were watching this old race on tape where this guy came from behind and got the W and we, in that moment we knew racing was so pure that it could, it could bring families together. It could bring people through loss, like the, the, the specialness that you can get from racing. And then the corporate tycoons like, Oh, so funny. You bring

up that moment. Cause that was actually rigged. We rigged that moment to make people feel that way. So all your optimism and all this beauty that you've kind of tried to put onto racing, it was all manufactured by us to get you to feel that way. And I feel that way all the time where I'm scared to believe in things because I think I'm an optimist by nature. But I'm scared to believe in things because I think that they'll let me down. But here's the thing. At the end of the movie, Speed Racer goes, it doesn't matter if you manufactured that moment and the moment was fake because what I felt was real and I'm going to be that

real moment for the next people who are watching it. And then he wins the race and shit like that. So it's like, even if you believe in something fake, if it makes you do something real, that's legit. Fucking beast, dude. Yeah, dude. If you're adopting a puppy... No, go ahead. No, go. If you're adopting a puppy from a puppy mill and you think you're doing something good and then you feel bad because you got the dog and you put a down payment

down i'm not saying this happened to me this sounds super specific yeah we have a real rescue but i'm like uh you can't control the people duping you dude you're doing the right thing you have your own integrity but go ahead say what you were saying i don't know that's it that's it no that's it but i'm just saying, don't be afraid to believe in things. Yeah, because even if they turn out to be full of shit, it's still cool to be someone that believes in things like Speed Racer does. Yeah, dude. My love of baseball comes from the 98 McGuire and Sosa home run chase.

Who cares if those two guys were roiding the shit out of themselves? It still meant something to me. It was still awesome to watch. Yeah, or like all those people who believed in Lance Armstrong and maybe got sick and then fought harder against the sickness, because I'm not saying that absolves the people who make the mistakes, but, but the thing that we got from them is still ours.

You know what I mean? Yeah. So let's go. So. That's like, that's like Tom Cruise. That's why when I watch him rock climbing, I might too,

you know, people would be like, oh, Scientology. Oh, he's weird. Oh, the Katie Holmes Adderall thing. I'm like, but him rock climbing in MI2 means so much to me. I don't give a shit about anything else. You know, that's, it means something to me, watching him rock climb. Yeah.

And I'm not like, when I'm inspired by something, I'm not saying the thing that inspired me is perfect. You know what I mean? What I'm saying is that the inspiration that it gives me is valuable yeah yeah yeah yep for sure chad what's your quote of the week uh my quote of the week comes from lee steinberg the agent i don't know. The only thing certain about any negotiation is that it will lead to another negotiation. Dude, I think that's who Jerry Maguire is based on. Oh, really? Yeah.

Oh, really? Good synergy. That's awesome. I love that. Dude, Tom Cruise, you strike again, you fucking fucking beast. Wait, so what did he say again, though? The only thing certain about any negotiation is that it will lead to another negotiation.

That's where you're at right now, huh? I walked away. And we'll see how they play their cards. But, you know, I feel like the, you know, the stars, the planets are aligning. They want me to live in Manhattan Beach. It's a big drive. It's a Manhattan Beach. It's a big drive. It's a big drive.

Bertolino weighed in. Bertolino weighed in. He said lifestyle. He said Culver. Oh, he did? Yeah. Did he? Let me tell you something.

He said Culver. He did say Culver. Did he? But here's the thing. You're believing in yourself. No matter where you are, even if you had a billion dollars in the bank, you're not going to buy a spot in the middle of where productions always happen.

You're always going to be outside of it. Invest in yourself. You're always going to have to drive in to where stuff's going down. That's true. But bro, driving in from... Look, I love the Manhattan Beach vibe. I was on board, but I just, I don't know.

It's a lot. L.A. traffic's a mother dude it'll break you it's an hour and a half not every day well I was thinking maybe I could get a six month six month lease

smart yeah see if I could cause I you know I think the next six months will probably be pretty

similar yeah but I don't know so I was I was talking to to my GF and she said something she was like

yeah life is short and that got my thinking I was like yeah why am was I was talking to to my gf and she said something she's like yeah life is short and that made that got my thinking I was like yeah why am I waiting to go to the beach to go back to the beach that is true and you see in the beach every day and just being able to walk out to the surf I mean to be able to ride your bike around there and but yeah I mean it is tough because I do think about the driving and all that stuff. But dude, if your heart's into it, and then you're tough, you don't mind driving. You know what you do? You get there early. You just, you got to switch your hours.

But you're up early anyway. I'm up early, yeah. That's the thing. You just got to get places early. Crush a freaking pod in your car. Read a book. Yeah. It's just going to be that.

You're going to have places around town where you can post up. Yeah. I'm in Los Feliz, dude. Cruise over to my place. It can be your east side that. You're going to have places around town where you can post up. I'm in Los Feliz, dude. Cruise over to my place. It can be your east side hub. Let's go. James Mangold, the guy who directed Ford vs. Ferrari and Logan. I guess he has a place in Malibu so he could drive to work.

But anytime he gets on a production, he makes them get him a house in Hollywood. Dude, that's the move, man. Amazing. Honestly smart, dude. And now his new movie is, I think, a Bob Dylan biopic with Timothee Chalamet. Oh, interesting. Oh, let's go. Chalamet, dude, playing Bob Dylan?

It's kind of perfect. God, that's amazing. I'm just glad it's not Adam Driver. He's too big. Too tall. Yeah, he's too big. Sorry, he just pureed out. Don't worry, dude.

Well, that was a clean slappy. And I needed to do it. How am I not going to high five after that? Hey, who's your, what's your part of the week? My part of the week is, okay, here we go. I got to channel it a little bit. Right now I'm taking a puff of a cig. What a terrible thing to say.

You know what? I think we need to get the whole walk though when he walks yeah dude you gotta get the walk maybe when he first comes in smoking the ciggy yeah that's a good shot Aaron that's gonna play

yeah you can do that should I play the music let me play the music oh dude you gotta do that fucking bass line and are you able to do... Maybe I could do a line of like... What's the guy... What's that?

The guy who's like, where's that bastard or something? Oh, yeah. Here we go. I got the tune right here. Here we go. Yeah, maybe start at the music right after the line. Right. Any sign of deacons? Yeah, that son of a bitch is dead.

What a terrible thing to say. What do you want to do? I messed up. Okay, here we go. Any sign of deacons? Yeah, that son of a bitch is dead. What a terrible thing to say. Get him.

You were sure everything would go smooth? Our merchandise is not where it's supposed to be. That was good. Your merchandise is over there. It's in the canyon. Let's grab the nicks. Let's go. Aaron, what's your quote of the week?

It's always having to follow something like that. What a terrible thing to say. like that. What a terrible thing to say. You think he's just waiting there for him to say something? What a terrible thing to say. I knew this guy was going to be an asshat and say something rude.

The way he holds his cigarette, you can tell Travolta doesn't really smoke. Maybe he does, but I don't know. He's holding it so low. He's got a couple of iconic cigarettes in his mouth. You sent the one from Greece as a gif on our text thread. He does, man. He's holding it so low. But he's got a couple of iconic cigarette in his mouth. Because you sent the one from Grease as a GIF on our text thread. Yeah. He does, man. He's hot in that, too.

Yeah. He's a movie star. He's so hot. Sorry I cut you off, Aaron. My quote of the week comes from one of my favorite podcasts, The Full Charge Power Hour. It comes from the theme song. It's just, let the streets know.

Nice. Nice. Let the streets know. Nice. Let the streets know. Nice. They're coming. Mine is a Michael Biehn in Terminator, and he's trying to warn Sarah Connors about what's coming. He goes, it can't be bargained with.

It can't be reasoned with. It doesn't feel pity or remorse or fear, and it absolutely will not stop ever. Now, he's ostensibly talking about the Terminator, played by Arnold Schwarzenegger. But my favorite video essayist on YouTube who breaks down movies like Stories of Old, he says what he's actually talking about is time. Whoa. There's a double meaning there.

It can't be bargained with. It can't be reasoned with. It doesn't feel pity or remorse or fear. And it absolutely will not stop. Ever. So he thinks Terminator is like the best movie about how we're at the mercy of time. And how we're attacked by the future. And we're basically defenseless in the face of our impending doom.

I'm quoting him directly there. Wow. But I love that. And it just made me think that. And he could just be applying that to it. But that line really does work there. Totally. It really made me be like whoa

good stuff um yeah i love that dude aaron or chad what's your phrase that we're going after it the merchandise is in the canyon dude that's amazing oh let's see my favorite oh my phrase that week for getting after it is, Sonny, sit. Sit. No, no, no. Look at me. No, look at me. It's okay. Sit.

Sit. Good. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. It's me talking to my dog. Aaron, what's yours?

Always having to follow this goal. It's so hard. I would just repeat again. Let the streets know. Let the streets know. Dude, my phrase of the week for getting after it is a word I picked up from a New York Times review of the movie On the Rocks,

the new Sofia Coppola movie. So I was reading the review to see, like, if there was some stuff I missed, you know? And it was a charming movie. It's a little slight, but you get to watch Bill Murray and Rashida Jones. They're both pros, and there's some really pretty shots.

And this is the word. This is how they describe Bill Murray's character. Sybarite. He's a sybarite, a person who is self-indulgent in their fondness for sensuous luxury. Oh, yeah. So what's up, sybarites? Sybarite's my phrase of the week for getting after. Or word of the week, rather, for getting after.

Hell, yeah. Oh, I love that. All right, dudes. This was fun the week I love that this was fun this was great this one's going to be all time you're calling it it's all time this sweatshirt you can get on our website

and the wine as well Striders GF wine I'm staying. All right. All right. Later, dudes. Later. Later. And you want to know What to do Where to go

When you need someone to guide you Just to have a friend beside you Go and see Go and see Let's go see Go and see The cat and the cat Let's go I'm going deep You got to take Deep