Going Deep with Chad and JT - Ep 164 - Strider Joins

Episode Date: December 9, 2020

What up Stokers?! Strider is in this week. We discuss his ongoing fantasy football battle, otter cocks, and a scientific breakthrough in protein imaging. Stay stoked dudes! Sponsored by Manscaped: Get 20% Off and Free Shipping with the code GODEEP20 at Manscaped.com. If you wanna trim your pubes during a contagion.

Two, one, yeah. What's your theme? Goin' deep, Chad and JT. Ooh yeah, tickle my tummy and tell me it's Wednesday. What's up Stokers of stoke nation this is chad kroger coming in with going deep chat and jt podcast guys before we begin i'll remind you once again that we are brought to you by manscape manscape thank you so much for keeping our trims pubed for looking after our hogs for making sure that our dongs are looking fresh and clean because when you have um you know a um cotillion coming up

you know and you want to impress everyone there you're going to wear a suit you're going to put cologne on you're going to put in depth hair gel maybe la looks whatever you want to do but make sure you also got your pubes on lock because it shows. It may not show to the eyeball, but it can show energy-wise. And that's where Manscaped comes in. So use code godeep20 at manscaped.com. Also, it's the holiday season, so if you want to get a gift for anyone that you know who has pubes, get them the performance package.

Let me just... Apologies, bros, I need to check. I think we have one more ad. Totally forgot. I knew I had to look it up, but I forgot. Bro, no worries. Chilling. I've been making more use of the cameras lately. I've been saying some stuff down the barrel.

It's nice. Yeah. Yeah. Address the audience directly, you know, cut through the medium. They're here. I see you.

Dude, you taught me a great trick is that when you look at the camera, picture you're, you're talking to your best friend. Yeah. Yeah. It helps a ton. Cause now I'm like,

Hey, what's up, man? It's nice. It's good to see you. How's it going? Oh, hey, what's up? Dude, I haven't seen you forever yeah can you see the difference non-best friend just a camera good bumping into you here dude um don't you owe me some dough i remember i spotted you like a 20 spot don't you owe me that though sorry yeah i'll look at

i'll look at my best friend real quick why'd'd you do that? Why'd you sleep with her? You knew I was in love with her. Did you really have to do that? Look at an old best friend of mine. Hey, oh, you fly Southwest also? Interesting. You fucked my wife. She was a stewardess on this airline.

She lost her job. Why did you fuck my wife? Tell me now. Yeah, she's gorgeous. I know know that you don't think i don't know that you son of a bitch get off me then i'm getting taken off the plane what up dude i didn't realize you guys were married dude honestly i was just hanging out and then she was throwing me rhythm and i i didn't think about it man i just got caught up in the moment i didn't think to check but um i'm lying i knew she was throwing me rhythm and I didn't think about it, man. I just got caught up in the moment. I didn't think to check, but I'm lying. I knew she was your wife. At least you're honest now in this moment.

And I forgive you, dude. I forgive you. You treated her better than I ever could. Are you guys still together or what's up with that? Yeah, but now that you say that i do feel bad and i i really appreciate you appreciate the man that you are in the high road that you took and i don't know if it's possible at this point with all the injury i've caused you but now i'm thinking the best thing might be if i could be friends with you dude i think that'd be fantastic dude and i'd

love to jumpstart this friendship and get things rolling but I hate to put you on the spot already as a friend but I do need you to spot me some dough to bail me out of jail cause they're gonna arrest me for this outburst on this plane no worries I'll bail you out and oh by the way

this is my buddy Chad and he slept with your wife too oh no way hey what's up what's up man you fucked my wife yeah man it was uh i fucked her like two years ago um oh yeah yeah that was cool that was that was honestly what i considered to be the height of our relationship we were getting along great he did a legit job yeah i uh don't worry i was really tender and actually we were on our way to tahiti is when she was working at air tahiti and um she put a lay around me which was like kind of like i think you're mixing hawaii with tahiti but um it really

got me in the moment and i came super hard um filled her up dude that's awesome you know i guess i was a little bit absent there you know maybe she was looking for voids to fill and i'm glad you guys it was fellas like you who i will now call my friends and my brothers thank you guys for fucking my wife better than i ever could what up dude i'm your wife oh honey boys. What's up? All my fellas in one room. Hey, babe, you want to go get Burger King later? Sure, babe.

But let's talk to all the babes first. Okay. It's great to see you again. That's my other boyfriend. Oh, that's your boyfriend. It's Dylan. What's up, dudes? I'm Dylan.

Hey. What's up, Dylan? What's up? Yeah, Becky, what's up dudes i'm doing hey what's up dylan what's up uh yeah becky what's we're gonna hit that hit the b room later what's up oh yeah we're definitely hitting the b room later are we gonna go fuck yeah we're fucking that's awesome you know this is the thank you honey for understanding that of course i mean honestly like i will sign those papers you sent over that you had served to me a few years ago i know i've been a stickler not signing them but seeing how happy you are and like how legit the dudes are that you're boning what up i can't i can't get in the way of that thank you for sure do you think do you think

there's any chance that you know maybe just one last hurrah i don't know yeah is that cool i would love that is that cool dude i think i recognize you do you uh do you hit that jujitsu spot on la cienega yeah yeah right i think we grappled before yeah i think we grappled one time oh yeah dude yeah yeah you have fantastic ground game dude thank you yeah yeah it's tough i didn't recognize your face because you had me pinned down yeah yeah i think i choked you out and uh yeah you did i think i got you pretty good and i uh i didn't realize at the time too that i was i was fucking your wife so no yeah thinking back like yeah when i got yeah i choked out because i have a hospital bill from that so yeah um yeah you did that i was definitely still with my wife at that time that's awesome dude dude yeah sweet

dude sick dude small world um becky so good playing a jiu-jitsu oh yeah i mean becky introduced me to jiu-jitsu she's actually a brown belt yeah yeah we grapple we we we get down all the time um strider how's it how's it going with your dog you have a dog now sunny yeah dude got a little son dude sunny spelled s-u-n-n-y although i like to think that you know it is kind of like sunny um from godfather which is pretty sick but um he's a good guy dude although today i did push it a little bit and i want to i want to lift before you lifted today yeah i lifted nice yeah yeah i definitely lifted i did 35 do some thrusters and uh i did a hit i did a hit workout that my GF and I do together,

except I just upped the weight. It's tough, dude. Thrusters for 45 seconds straight, I can't do 45 seconds of thrusters straight at 35s. Yeah, with 35s, that's weight. I get seven, I take a breather, and then maybe bump out two more. How do you tell her you're going to lift more weight than her? Oh, dude, I just have – you mean like tell her that? Yeah, like when you're like, hey, let's do this workout.

By the way, I'm doing 35s. Oh, dude dude it's great because what i did have before jt hooked number 35s i got 12s so no i'm saying like like in the moment when you're like babe i'm gonna lift 35s oh dude yeah she gets stoked on that she she wants to thank jt because of it dude oh that's nice yeah it's sick yeah i mean dude no no it's not a surprise chat it's like no no we we have our mats set up like her mat set up mine set up in our nice new space she's got her 12s now which were my 12s so she's already upped her weight and strength which is she's not daunted by your strength no no she loves she's not scared of my strength she appreciates it actually she likes the aesthetic she knows you can protect the home too

you know it's funny you mentioned that because i was lifting and i was like panting a little bit and my gf kind of like laughed a little bit she's like that's so that was that was hilarious like a noise that you just made and i was like do you think i could defend us if someone broke in like because we have a dog too and i was like do you feel safer with a dog that the dog can defend us she's like no the dog's little i was like well what about me if she fought she's like you feel safer with a dog? The dog can defend us? She's like, no, the dog's little. I was like, well, what about me if she fought? She's like, you're not really a fighter. She's like, you're... So she doesn't think that I can fight and defend us, dude.

Just depends who breaks in. That's true. What if someone breaks in who's also just a warm-hearted, genuine person? I would defend her by becoming boys with that guy. He might be trying to come in there and, like, I don't know, jack a piece or, like, try to find a bong. I don't have one. I'd be like, dude, I don't have a b a piece or, like, try to find a bong. I don't have one. I'd be like, dude, I don't have a bong here, but I got an IPA.

And then we're just kicking it. He's like, dude, I was just looking for a slightly stupid album. Oh, I could hook him up. No problem. You're like, dude, you still got a boombox? Let me hook you up with a Spotify account. 100%, dude. He'd cruise in there and be like, oh, dude, I saw a weird light from in here.

Is that a lava lamp? I go, it is, dude. I've got an extra one. You want one? My old one? Here you go. He could be like, BT Dubs, are you the campaigner type personality it's the thing we match bro enfp dude 100 100 also yeah do i not destroy my enemy when i make him my friend that's abraham lincoln's approach

and people don't normally try that when it's a b and e home invasion but right you know exhaust all peaceful paths before you resort to biting the guy or something. 100%, dude. I think if anyone can bring a new approach to home protection and home security, it can be this squad right here. Absolutely. For sure. Stank vibes.

For sure. It's like chill defense. That's the thing, dude. Just unarm the assailant. What do they say when someone has you hostage? Like, use your name. Be like, what up? My name's Strider.

This is my boy Chad. What up? And already he's like, all right, dude, these are people. They're not, you know, targets that I'm trying to rob or whatever. What up? And then immediately you're like, dude, he's like, give me your wallet. And you reach in there and you pull out, like, a CBD joint. And you spark it, and then he's automatically de-stressed.

Yeah. I was doing ayahuasca in Brazil. Whoa. And we were all tripping out. And I think actually the people who ran the ayahuasca event might have been in cahoots with what happens next, but some robbers came and took all of our stuff. But I could speak Portuguese at the time because of the ayahuasca.

So I translated between them and the people, like the other tourists who were there basically. And they took all their stuff and at the time because of the ayahuasca so i translated between them and the people like the other tourists who were there basically and they took all their stuff and at the end they were going to take my laptop and i was like but dude please don't take my laptop because like i watch porn on this and like i need to watch porn and then he was like dude because you respected my job as like a thief and you helped me through this process i'll respect your job as a dude who cranks it and he let me keep my laptop that's so tight dude finding commonality over jacking off i mean there really is i mean if i were like a an explorer of like a new world i would you know you stumble upon a new land and you're like hey

what's up i'm an explorer you jack off i didn't judge him for being a thief he didn't judge me for being a chronic masturbator we're just looking eye to eye so that's legit you were being honest with each other dude and honestly is the best policy even when getting robbed you know how's the dog dude he's good dude he he did he peed on my mat dude he peed on my workout mat he's he uh you know we're past the the sweet phase of like where we're like dude he's amazing like he doesn't bark he's all quiet always i think it's just because he was shy getting used to his space but now he's comfy yeah bro he's settled in he's the king of the castle dude like you know he hears a noise down the hallway and he does like a little like

like half gruff bark noise where I've got to be like, yo, Sonny, chill, dude, chill. It's all just about a gentle talk is what I'm realizing. Does he look you in the eyes when he pees on your mat? He looked me right in the eye. He knew. I caught him. Because they say there's a four-second span of like if he peed

and then I found it later, and I went and showed him, and I was like, bad, dude, don't do that. He'd be like, he'd have no idea what's going on. But if you catch him while he's doing it, which I washed and pee on my mat, had to put down my 35 in the middle doing snatches, washing and peeing, he's looking at me, he's making a cute face, and I gotta look at him,

and I gotta go, bad, bad, dude, not chill. I had to change that tone. Usually I'm like, oh, dude, good boy. I gotta be like, dude, bad, step off that. Nice. Yeah. That's crazy you got a dog now dude i was thinking about dude this is a freaking he's older than we think that's how it always works i feel like they said he was eight months then we go to the vet and he's like yeah he's two years old i thought you can say like eight dude dude that happens sometimes dude because he's past puppy stuff he doesn't like he chews toys not not cords

but watch now he'll do that but um that must be nice though i think two two years old for a dog is it's pretty primo because you're past the point where they're just like getting all that energy out and they're kind of like settling into their their bods their adult self yeah yeah and they're like you know if i pee i'm gonna look straight in the eyes when i pee totally dude we got to run him we got to exercise him a little more. He's gained some LBs. Nice. He has gained some LBs. We've been giving him a lot of treats because we want him to love us.

But yeah, dude, once he gets where he gets out, he goes for his miles or whatever, he's chilling. He's sleeping. He's living that easy life. Dude, speaking of vibes, so I'm moving into a new place this weekend. Ooh. Congrats. And it's across the street from the place where someone you know died yeah and i was telling

my mom i'm like mom like i'm kind of worried i'm i might am i gonna be able to sleep at this place like i'm a little i'm a little freaked and she's like you know what you need to do you need to get smudge sticks you know it's in smudge sticks like sage and all this stuff resets the energy in the abode you know clears out negative energy spirits or something they'll be like all right later dude uh you just burned some sage in here that's legit so i'm gonna do that as soon as i get in i'm just gonna fucking smudge it up bro nice that's so dank dude how did that call go with your mom? I mean, she's the best. Super supportive. She's like the greatest. She's the best.

So she just, she totally knew where I was coming from. She's like, look, you're scared. And I know what you need in this moment. You need a smudge stick. Go on Amazon, order them right now. They're coming in two days. And get ready, bro. It's also interesting because like, so the lady killed herself like one house over right across the street and so we're kind of getting into territory that i don't think has really

been explored but like can ghosts move houses like how far can a ghost move it's a great question i asked brad fuller who produces horror movies and he said nah dude they can't move houses and i asked my gf's mom who had a ghost at her place in nashville and she said they stayed they stayed they stay put but la is so condensed dude you know what are you doing oh sorry man i didn't mean it like that i was i was saying i was trying to legitimize your fears no i'm not trying to scare you further i promise no i was trying to legitimize why you were scared. Yeah. My bad. I'm sorry. Yeah. So, no, but then, okay, so I was parking at my place right now.

And I like my place right now. Like, it's legit. Yeah. But it's just like, you know, I wanted to, you know, downgrade a little bit. Because I went a little bit too posh and uh the lady there who was like very nice lady sanaz what up uh was like it's like what are you doing leaving we love having you here you know like we watch you guys stuff all the time like i'm like you guys watch our stuff she's like yeah like we could have worked out a deal i'm like why are you telling me this

right now you know i'm getting smudge sticks, you know? And like, you know, like she's like, yeah, I saw you guys getting horny on the rooftop. And I was like, why don't you like DM and say like, what up, I'm your like property manager. Like, this is sick, stay here. Yeah, dude. She must've seen, you know, I posted on my Instagram about, you know, these debacles going on in my in my search

nothing until the week i move out she's like we could work out the i'm like i already signed the lease right and she's like i'm like by the way like what up yeah dude yeah so did kevin advise you on that okay dude i texted kevin he's like you already signed the lease you're fucked kevin helped you out in the fantasy league right yeah he drafted a legal notice to the commissioner because you're still in conflict with the uh the opposing group the moan boys yep and uh and he what did his uh email say he just basically said everything i laid out last time he put it in you know he used the proper legal terminology and um just said you know if anyone has anything to say uh you know don't go to my client come to come to his attorney he's now represented but uh and dude yeah he was

very eloquent made some great freaking points dude but i think you know might just have to be put to rest for now i think dudes are taking it it's gone beyond anything now i think it's got to just get dialed back i think there's some some dudes in the league that look the crown weighs heavy it's weighing heavy and so i just got to just relax and so i think i'm i might just have to find a alternative course or something we'll see what happens like pay the fine we'll see what happens you're looking at me Because I had input on it. What did you say?

Did you think I should pay? Well, I heard both sides. I heard your side. I heard Chris talk about it. Yeah, I heard him. And I didn't really understand fantasy, so I'm like, set your line up. What the fuck? Is he talking about this? I'm like set your set your lineup what the fuck does that i'm like he's talking about this i'm like i don't i just i was just thinking about you know the wave of the day

um and you know strider i'm sorry to say this but i think you know rules are rules bro yeah but here's the thing the what is the letter of the law i don't know if i broke the letter of the law i think they're getting me on a technicality because they want to stick it to me and maybe I'm taking it a little personally and look I've been no saint Chad all mid I've been no saint well I'm cooped up I got a question cuz I yeah cuz Kevin was like I'm yes hilarious I got a question does everyone set their line every week? Their lineup? Yeah, you generally reset your lineup every week, yeah.

Based on guys having buys or injuries or whatever. Yeah, you couldn't really just click it and let it go the whole season. Well, I think what we mean is if I can. No, no, no. I think what we mean is is everyone else starting a defense and following the letter of the law that you're questioning. Is everyone else in the league doing it? Everyone else in the league is setting their lineup to try to win. Yes.

But don't get all legalese on me. You know what I'm saying? Are you the only one who's making a fight about this thing? I'm the only one whose team was crappy enough and in such a rare, horrible position because, look, my team is dog crap. It sucked this year. I took swings and misses.

I was in a situation with my D on buy. I didn't want to pick up any of the ones that were on the waiver wire. Like, it's a more, just to answer your question to stay focused on it, everybody was not, everyone in the league has done a good job not being negligent or colluding while setting their lineups. I also, 100%, was not negligent or colluding setting my lineup ever this year you're a good talker

that's a fact I announced it before I did it had I just done it and then been like yo dudes that's what's up stick with it it's strategy I came out and I said guys I'm gonna do this I know it's freaking

seems like a bonehead move, but that's what I feel will give me the best chance. How often do other guys in the league find themselves in this situation? Never, dude. That's what I was wondering. It's such a rare situation that's like ridiculous. Like it's bad. It hasn't happened this season.

No, I don't think it's – it probably happened in no league ever maybe i don't probably never happens but like the fact that it did is is okay i don't want to get too deeply psychological yes no you can get as deep now you're you're a you're a normally near the top of the heap in our fantasy league right you've won the most titles three titles i've won a couple but they're so far back it was before we even did auction drafts so i had to mention that but but i do genuinely think of you as having the best career out of everyone in fantasy you have a franchise that shows up it's hard for me to say that to you but thank you but this year your honesty this year you had a down year horrible year you had a bad draft i might finish last which i really reveled in but my draft i swung and i missed but uh is any part of this you just you're you're not near the top of the league no

one's worried about your team you're not in championship contention and you missed the juice so you create a problem like this so that you can stay relevant in the text thread and stay relevant in the league is that any of this no i i i can see you i can see where there's that argument i see there is a relevancy thing uh and i do love the thread and we all have fun jabbing each other there's no question about that and so i can't tell you oh and to your point of trying to remain relevant i had to win that game that's the only way to be relevant you just got to win and my team was's the only way to be relevant. You just got to win. And my team was going to be getting crushed.

So in order to be relevant, in order to talk crap, you got to win and be in the playoffs. I'm not talking crap now. I'm not in the playoffs. I'm out. But it's a sicker thing of my psychology to create all of that, to stay relevant. That's not what I would not try to do that. Who's it benefiting? I'm not having to do that. Who's it benefiting? I'm not having fun with it.

None of the dude, like the Moen boys aren't having fun with it. Well, because it's gone too far now, right? You were saying that you upset Ross too much. I'm not saying any names. Are you trying to get me killed? Trying to get my head ripped off? What are you talking about? Let me look down the barrel.

Let me take you to the thing. I'm not saying any names. I didn't say that name. But are you, Ross got really upset, right? Some guys were taking it personally. And Ross will hurt somebody. He's a strong guy. I'm not saying any names.

This is why I have a lawyer. This is why I got a lawyer. I talked to Kevin about it last night, because Kevin showed me the letter, which was well written. Crafted a great, beautiful letter. And I like that you mentioned that you dropped three loads on them.

Sorry, JT. Hey, he drafted it. He took took the liberty i just spelled out i just told him my side of the story he wrote it up so because i i was like to kevin i was like i was like i was like seems to me like you know everyone's following the rule rules are rules you know i don't understand the nuance of the situation. I've never been in fantasy, so I don't, you know. Totally. And Kevin's like, mm-mm, dude. Rules are meant to be broken.

Rules are made to be broken. And I was like, he's like, you don't get it. You'll never get it. You don't play fantasy. He's pretty much like, shut your mouth. And I was like, okay. No, but Chad, stick with what you're saying, because I think you're an independent arbiter in the best sense of it.

And I think you have impeccable moral judgment. And so I think when you question Schreider on this, I think you've got a whole fantasy league behind you. And when they hear you saying this, they're going to be the most fucking hype they've ever been. You hear that, fellas? We got an independent arbiter here. But Chad, let me ask you a question.

As stoked as I am to have their support this is my dog no i know you were conflicted about it i was like dude you i i was like i was like i hate to have these feelings in my dome i know you're conflicted it's crazy but you got to speak truth to power, dog. I did. I said rules are rules, bro. Sorry. I'm really. But here's the thing. When you look at a rule, when you look at a rule, don't you ask why that rule exists and then why it should be followed and why it was created? But is everyone abiding by the rule in this current season? And can we shelve that conversation till the off season?

And then we can decide if it should be changed. It's shelved. Yeah. If people want to retroactively fix it that's fine too but it's like from my from where i'm standing everyone knows the way i look at it is how easy is it for me to text everyone in the league and go yo i'm gonna not play defense this week i think it's gonna give me the best chance and then dudes could easily just go oh yeah okay he's trying to win that the best chance. And then dudes could easily just go, oh yeah, okay, he's trying to win.

That's cool. Your points are all well articulated, but it's like, they're all like a few too many levels complicated. I don't think so. You're very much like in the weeds of like, it's almost like an academic argument or something. Talk to me straight.

You're talking to me like some scholar. Talk to me man to man. You broke the fucking rules. You got to pay the fucking price. I didn't break the letter of the law. I got to talk like this to have conflict with you because it's too uncomfortable to do it in my real life. The letter of the law wasn't broken. When you said that, what I heard was, what up, dudes? I'm trying to win, so I'm breaking the rule to try and win this week.

No, not even – yeah, I just let them know I'm setting a – I am not setting a defense because the rule is negligence or collusion. I wanted to make sure they knew I was not being negligent or colluding because that's the rule. Chad, stay on him. That's the rule, baby. You got him right where you want him. You got him.

I think I said it. Had I done it – I think there has to be a duel, dude. there might just have to be a duel dude yeah dude you guys need to go to yale and hit up the skulls and there just might need to be an alexander hamilton style duel dude how about just a fistfight you and ross you guys settle it mano mano i'm not saying any names must say any names i don't say any names preserving integrity one time we were driving home from arizona and we had an rv and everyone was taking shifts driving and strider was being a lazy bastard

he's like i'm not driving i don't care yeah everyone did like a three-hour shift or whatever it's not that far of a drive so i don't know why it got so hard but then at one point everyone's like strider it's your turn you're driving he goes i'm not driving everyone's trying to threaten him we're like hey if you don't drive we're not inviting you to a party he's like i don't give a fuck we're like hey if you don't drive we're gonna be all pissed off you and some of us might not be your friend for a while he's like i don't give a dude and then finally ross is rubbing his temples i probably already told the story he's rubbing his temples he just looks up he goes i'll beat the out of you like it came to him like a thought and then me and the other guys are like you know most of the time

when your friend's gonna beat up your other friend you want to break it up but we all go yeah yeah and then and then he just goes he goes if you don't drive i'll beat the fuck out of you and then starter just goes all right i'll drive 100 100 and look was i being a prick and an asshole then yes i was a younger man but i feel like those things look when they say the past comes back to bite you they ain't lying oh you think ross is still pissed about i think i'm being punished for past behaviors. And I don't think. Check the text messages. He said it.

Oh, he brought it up? He brought up the shoes. Oh, and one time you walked in his house with shoes when he wasn't supposed to. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. And so Ross took his shoes and threw them off a balcony into a forest. Oh, wow. Yeah.

So you gave them back? No, God, are you kidding me? Those things, snake den now. They're a house for animals, yeah, for critters. Some coyotes got a sick new pair of nikes, dude. But yeah, Chad, there's an element here. This is why, you know, there's, do you believe in due process of the law, Chad?

That's the question I wanted to ask you. Do you believe in due process? Dude, I know exactly what you're talking about with laws and stuff. They're like, you're going to give me a citation? The reason the law was created it doesn't apply to me but i don't know if that applies to fantasy it's like it's like you know you gotta if you're gonna win you gotta win within the confines of the rules and then after the season is over be like what up dudes i think this rule needs, you know, we need to amend it. See, I only think

we're looking at half the rule. I think we're only reading, which, by the way, none of these things are ever written down, which plays into JT's weeds thing there, and I love to play it, you know, get in the weeds, but to steer clear of that, we're only looking at half the law. You're looking at the part that says, and I agree with you,

if there's something that just says you must set a full lineup, that's not what that just says you must set a full lineup. That's not what it says. You must set a full lineup for this reason. There you go. But you're not being – Right? Isn't that why the law is there? But Chad's touching on something that I think is the crux of this whole thing. You're not being unfairly persecuted for this rule.

You're being persecuted because you're the only person in the league who's saying the rules don't apply to me. No, dude. That is the rule. We got to keep – okay we gotta keep all right go go sorry that's the rule the rule is you gotta start does apply to everyone and you should be fined if you didn't start your lineup because of negligence or collusion all right you know i believe i believe that you really believe it yeah i do i'm sorry i should take it on good faith yeah because i can hear the sincerity but i just i just think you can't break the rule if it's already established. That isn't the rule.

But everyone else says it is the rule. You know, maybe I stand alone. Dante, we have a new engineer, guys. Aaron just had a kid. Congratulations, Aaron. A beautiful baby girl. Ruby, what up? So we have a new engineer today.

Dante, what up? First of all, does any of this at all sound like English to you? Does it make sense? I have no clue what you're talking about. Dante, do you think I'm right? Well, knowing nothing, I would say if it doesn't specifically say don't do what you're saying, then it's good. If you make rules, you got to be very specific in the wording because you know people are gonna try to play on

it Dante my friend Ross has a kill list and I might have just inadvertently put yourself on it all right I would run in zigzags all right we should keep pushing because if people aren't in a finish it cut that half of our man mainly oh I think I'm gonna leave the whole thing and it'll be like, people centuries from now will listen to it and be like, this is what the contemporary man argued about during a pandemic. It is a luxury. It is a luxury. No, but it's interesting stuff. Dude, so we read some articles.

One of the articles that really grabbed my attention, oh, I want to cite which Stokers sent it in too because they were sent in by Stokers, which is so legit. You flipped on this. Your brother swayed you. He just thinks I'm doing it because I wanted to do it and be vindictive. That's what he said on comms. Really? Yeah. Well, you were the only one I had talked to about it.

So I kind of was only seeing it from your perspective. And then after we did the pod, all the dudes messaged me and were like, you're too easy on Strider. This is bullshit. I don't know if all the dudes, though. There's definitely more than – there's a few guys that do agree with me in our league. I don't want to say their names either. I don't want to put them on a kill list.

But there's a few guys. It's not everyone. Ross just quit nicotine, oh he did ross i'm with you brother it's tough give it about a month you'll be cruising my friend just keep thinking about those huge traps that you got there massive traps dude so we're even bigger sorry about that nicotine yeah let's just give him some he's got the sickest traps ever the best traps yeah he does have some burly ass traps and i didn't form my opinion because of the size of his traps just throwing that out there objective dude so we read some articles uh one of the ones that was really interesting to me was sent in by

one of the stokers, Zach Malone. And it was about some pollution that's causing otters to have smaller dongs. Brittle dongs. Yeah, their dongs lack some density and lack some durability. And I mean, this is just one of those things where sometimes with pollution, it can be so wide-ranging, the effects. Or they'll be like, you know, it's causing pollution. And then you're like, but what does that even mean? But then when someone says, look look it's causing otters to have

limp dicks like all right she just got real this is the earth's biggest cry for help if i've ever seen it i mean the earth is saying like not only are you know is am i you know is are my temperatures changing or whatever you know there's just plastic everywhere in my osh but what you're doing is hurting the dinks of otters and if you guys have ever seen otters up close they're the cutest most precious animals that just you know just like to lay on their backs and open you know clams and crabs on their you know little rocks on their bellies and they're just so cute and if i could pick one animal to have a strong big sturdy dong it'd be an otter yeah man i mean the snack named after them is an otter pop which

to me is otter pops a boner and it's a hard boner and now it's hydrocarbons are keeping their bones from getting as freaking straight up dense and hard as they should be otter knots yeah otter soft they're soft dude it's like a yeah otter pop that's been taken out of the freezer otter pops a not boner it's not even an nrb yeah like forget about no reason boners for otters it's what it's an nb dude it's a no boner damn i mean trying to spin it positive and just you know find the stoke and everything it's like i mean maybe they'll have better personalities like i mean i have a very small penis and i think it's made me you know try to take up new things like i try to get good at gaming i try to you know you know be a little more chill or learn to skate better or like i'd play sports or go run outside and

develop other skills or traits you know if i had just had a big dong i'd know that i could probably just sit back and let you know cruise through life on that so maybe there's some others that would be chill yeah i could see you just throwing your dong on the table if it was huge yeah if i had if i had a big big old fat old big marisi size big Marisi-sized cock, I'd be plopping it. I'd be plopping it on stuff, you know? Yeah. I tried to borrow one of his Magnum XLs the other night because I was out of rubs. Didn't work.

You're swimming in it? Swimming, bro. Need like six dicks to get that thing tight enough for use. You'd need an entire otter to put in that condom, dude. Yeah. Yeah. Dudes, the other thing that just made me think about was like how did the scientists even know that this was a potential ish like i feel like one of the scientists every morning on his walk to work would go by the beach

eating a croissant and drinking a vanilla latte and he was just would observe the otters and he noticed over time an incremental change in their bone game. And he was like, oh, dude, that otter doesn't look like he's hitting it as right. And actually, the female otter looks like she's kind of bored. Yeah, he's like trying to jackrabbit it? Yeah, and he's like really trying to keep it hard, and he's kind of looking off in the distance, having like sick thoughts about other otters.

And then the scientist is like, they don't seem very connected. And then you think it's a one-off. You're like, oh, otters are like humans. Sometimes you're not in the mood, you're just trying to get there. But then over time he notices, wait, they're never having good sex and different otters are having bad sex.

I think someone's wrong with their dongs. And then so he goes into the science lab with all these other, you know, intelligent, serious thinkers and he goes, guys, issue of the week, what are we attacking? And you know, everyone's throwing out their stuff and he goes, I got one, what are we what are we attacking you know everyone's throwing out their stephanie goes i got one otter dongs let's measure them and they're like we don't think that's a real problem and then he shows video of this sad otter sex and everyone's like we gotta we gotta figure this out and then so they genuinely grabbed otters yeah

and measured their dongs dude they caught three dozen i was like who catches 36 otters dude it's a lot of otters bro it's a lot of work yeah and they got to hire people to do that there's no way those scientists can catch otters no you know when you catch an otter and when it's going down on another otter you know is that true yeah that's when you catch them yeah yeah they're fucking and you know they're going down what other otters pleasure just closing its eyes rolling them back the female otter is really going down because you know the male otter's got to yeah you know do a little darting yeah usually because his dong's not brittle or it's on is brittle until the trappers know that's when you get them you get them when they're boning yeah nice yeah it's it's interesting but guys so let's be careful let's not pollute i mean i know i got

plastic cup right here i mean i'm not helping the situation but let's try and protect otters dongs all right i think now that the issue of pollution has been anthropomorphized through something we all care about, dongs, you know, hardness, let's just take care of these guys because we share the earth with them. And, you know, you love seeing otters all happy, being cute, breaking shells open with rocks. They're not going to be so happy if they feel like their fucking dick game has been amputated. Yeah.

And you know what? In the meantime, while we rehabilitate their cranks, you know, some positive talk I think would go a long way. You know, if like you're out in the water and you see an otter just like float by, you could be like, hey, dude, like I'm with you, dog. You know, and I see your tongue dart. Your tongue dart does not mean that, you know, your tongue dart is you're giving your partner the same amount of pleasure that, you know, she's always gotten because of your tongue dart does not mean that you know your tongue dart is you're giving your partner the same amount of pleasure that you know she's always gotten because of your tongue dart and stay strong and your dink will will get through this and you know dude that's fire bro right yeah yeah it's critical yeah just make them it is what it is yeah we're gonna make the best out of it yeah can can otters finger dante can otters finger

well i think sorry it's like just a paw right like they probably can't like take a finger back but they can probably get they can like fish right they can get the edge of their paw the tip of it and like that's basically its finger they do use tools so yeah they can use tools it'll just like crack a shell kind of the right way yeah like a small one they have like you know so you can like incrementally stage up so like they'll have like a smaller shell splinter and then like a second one that's bigger like a dildo like a dildo rock yeah you know okay like a dildo put some kelp on it make a little slippery i think kelp is like natural lube of the ocean because it's super slippery and you just rub your dildo rock on kelp we make, make it a little bit slippery. I think kelp is like natural lube of the ocean because it's super slippery, and you just rub your dildo rock on kelp.

We make an aloe out of it. Oh, yeah, for sure. But I think their paws, too, create good friction. So, you know, if you just want to stimulate the clit, I know they're pretty good at that. Always. That's the good move. I mean, yeah, you're definitely going to want to,

and you're going to have to get creative. Also, thinking back on what you said, JT, of like i it kind of was a little bit of um i don't want the otters to have too sick of thoughts you know i don't want an otter to have to think about like oh you know fucking you know i'm boning this otter right now but really i'm thinking about that otter's like mom or something like that yeah it's weird then they're having weird nightmares and stuff and it's like i just don't want them to have to go down those dark avenues to get a nut. Keep it pure. Yeah.

Dudes, we also read about how there was this huge breakthrough in artificial intelligence. Google has this deep learning program called DeepMind. And it was able to make a huge leap in solving protein structures, which to understand how they work, we got to know what they look like. So at first I thought they were just talking about like protein as I understand it, like whey, soy, plant-based, but it's actually more complicated than that. Cause I guess proteins make up like all of cells

and whatnot, just not protein as I think about it diet wise. Right, so like not just like metrics or, you know, other stuff you'd see at vitamin shop or gmc muscle milks it's like making up the amino acids that make up like all the dna in our body so with this new development are they able to like create uh you know could they create whole living beings i think so yeah at some point could they create like a whole new like they could recreate like a hand someone's hand dude that's what they're it's going towards i mean basically what i understood which was this one was pretty tough but it was like this breakthrough gives them a much better look

in way of understanding proteins than like we've ever had before where it's like it eliminates a lot of guessing that they've had to do basically they can like by having that understanding of like oh what this protein is and of that dna really it's going to help them like kind of what jt said with medicinal stuff of like recognized genetic traits genetic traits and whatever yeah disease causing genetic variations they'll be able to map them out more easily and then hopefully solve the disease more easily. Oh, interesting. So it's not for like building stuff, you know?

It's like they're building like fake meat or something. Right, but they can do that next. I don't think so. I don't think that's the focus right now. I mean, we always got to watch out that it goes in that direction. But I think right now they're just trying to figure out how they can get to the root of what actually causes these diseases. Oh, that's cool.

It's legit. They're also making fake meat. What's up? They're also making fake meat. Yeah oh that's cool it's legit yeah they're also making fake building shit what's up they're also making fake meat all right yeah that's right here everyone's like saying like in a hundred years that's gonna be the no that's like in like five years hopefully really like coming up they're like building it from the cell up so it's like you can like make it have whatever you want in it and have like be like jacked with protein, but not be from an animal. They're making it in labs. But will it taste like dank?

Yeah, that's the thing. I think they're trying to get that. It's probably not there yet, but real soon they're going to be. Is it going to be dank? It will be dank in time. You know, my concern with this and it sounds dang if it if if it is indeed dank my concern is that they got to get the right guys developing this yeah you know um i don't want jack dorsey developing my meat no dude what about our buddy chetney dude he's a fucking beast on the

grill and i think he could he could get in there and do it. Dude, he can spot an elk steak from a ribeye from like 20 feet away. He's like, that's a T-bone, that's a New York, that's a ribeye, that's Chuck, that's Rumpro's, dude. You do need someone to be the right ambassador for this, because I think if it's Jack Dorsey

or Mark Zuckerberg or someone, someone who looks like they don't eat meat really and then kind of feels like they're trying to control us in nefarious ways you're like no i'm not doing it yeah but if joe rogan or like that steve ranella guy comes out if dave goggins comes out and he's like they're like hey this fake meat is the fake shit yeah you're like all right i'm on board i trust this guy yeah and we know that they can't be bought their integrity is is absolute they eat my fake steak stay hard and he's still he's like running while he's doing it i'd eat it yeah dude there's a fun vibe around it like i'm in dude think about this dude they could probably make if they can make fake t-bones

and dank steaks they can probably make otter cocks that's dude that's what i was thinking get fat fucking cocks again yeah why are we gonna eat otter co cocks? No, dude, they can just give them cocks. And why wouldn't we eat them, though? I mean, maybe they're good. They could be good. Yeah, twofer. We could reward these otters with massive dinks and also grill them up. Absolutely.

Dudes, we read one last article about a dude who got into an argument with his wife and then walked 450 kilometers to cool off and they're doing tighter restrictions i think he was in a where was it in austria italy i think that was italy and when the cops finally caught up to him you're not allowed to like be outside just doing whatever you want they're like hey what's the deal he's like man i'm just pissed and walked 450 kilometers but i kind of i respect this guy because it's like there's it's not the best way to handle it but but he understood his feelings and he's like, you know what?

I need more time and I need to keep walking. So when he came home, you know, he burned it all off. And at the same time, he'd made his legs strong. So I don't know. All in all, I think this guy's a beast. And his wife picked him up, right? She did? Yeah, she cruised out.

Yeah, the cops got him because, like you said, it was like COVID times. And so they're like, you can't just be out. You need to go to this hotel and the cops like because he wasn't breaking any laws other than like he'd give him a fine for being out during like past curfew for covid and then he just went to like a nice hotel probably got himself a dank steak and then called his wife and was like y'all need you to drive 450 kilometers and pick me up and she did dude she was there for him she's like i get it maybe they had a nice maybe they even boned in that hotel room it's always nice to do that yeah for sure when i read that article i first thing that came to my

my mind was joe for some reason just joe with his burly shoulders just a determined man just determined and like not even stopping just fucking walking dude he's like yeah no i'm not gonna go back stupid he was surprised when the cops were like hey do you know where you are he's like i don't know a couple miles from home they're like no you're 450 kilometers from home he's like damn yeah i didn't think about it you're in sweden dog didn't you get hungry no i was pissed or switzerland border with italy i think switzerland yo you're in switzerland dog dude it's gnarly dude oh yeah they did say like people would give him food like he got food from just like nice people yeah that's amazing yeah that's italy yeah dude nice people yeah do you think you got a uh big ziti hopefully delicious yeah dude nice house one of those pups dude i

don't know if you can make artificial ziti tell you that much freaking jib wow um i never heard that dude what did you say jib wow but in a new way that was great i never heard it like that before dude thanks man that was sick dude should we answer some questions or chad do you want to do an ad and then we'll answer some questions yeah we got the manscape stories yeah do i just pull those up on the regular chad goes deep thing yeah uh yes sir cool nice dude got striders got a beanie on it looks good what up it's a knit beanie dude my buddy's mom knit it for me it's a brand new look for you um yeah this i've never had a beanie like

this i could see you in like a boy band with that are you for real yeah thank you dude thank you because you have good i mean of course you have nice hair too but you have good, I mean, of course, you have nice hair too, but you have really good facial features, so the beanie kind of makes you showcase those more. Thank you. It gets rid of being distracted by your great mane. Yeah, it's like a little pubic-al, but I think this is the right length for it, though. You're being hard on yourself. It looks great.

I'm tough on myself. You're really tough on yourself. Yeah. Oh, dude, you look good. Thank you, dude. I don't know if this is like, this is knit. It's a gift. It's good Thank you dude I don't know if this is like This is knit It's a gift

It's very dank But I don't know if like I'd purchase this You were like being hard on yourself You said you had no game Oh I have the worst game All because you were in love With like the most beautiful girl

In the world When we were in high school And that she kind of Had you outgunned But that's like paddling out Into like pipeline When you're learning how to serve. That's nice, dude.

Thank you. That's true. But in the time and everything, I was like, dude, this is just like, I remember we had mac and cheese, dude, we made out. And then I was like, I got to tell her that I really got feelings for her. I was like, no.

Now looking back, I'm like, no, you didn't. You could have just chilled. But if she was your person, maybe she would have liked that. That's true. That's true. And that was my truth. And you know what?

You got to express your honesty. But if you can do it with a little style or game. A little danger. Yeah, a little something like that. Because you are a bad boy. I'm a bad boy. You're a bad boy who's a good man. I appreciate that.

Imagine if you came out of the gates with like all this game. That's what I mean. Like, ew. I know, right? You didn't want to come hot out of the gates with like all this game so I mean like ew I know right you didn't want to come out you didn't want to come hot out of the gates with a bunch of game let's say like Michael Jordan

you know Michael Jordan's the man dude like it's like some guy just you know comes out of the womb and he's just like what up

yeah whatever and he's just getting laid left and right it's like not very interesting no I don't like that those guys get out of the game quick too like the smart sensible ones they they mature out of it and then they're like you

know what i'm actually looking for something a little more wholesome and that's gonna last a long time yeah that the two guys i know who were like the most desirable to women when i was like 15 they both married at like 19 yeah interesting yeah it's cool ballers dude it's cool you know what i should do stay cool um guys i'm also interrupting this podcast let you know once again that we are brought to you by manscape manscape thank you so much for keeping our trims pubed for looking after our hogs for making sure that our dongles are looking fresh and clean because when you step out into the world and you want people to know hey that guy has a nice pubal region he uses manscape that's what we want people to know that you trim your pubes that you look after your whole body not just your face not just your pits but also your pubal region

what up because looking for the ultimate stocking stuffer this holiday season are you i am and you know what i'm gonna look no further because our sponsors manscaped have the tools to make you win this year's stocking stuffer or white elephant competition manscaped is the only brand dedicated to below the waist grooming and hygiene products and great news they just released their products across europe canada and australia that's huge europe canada and australia pretty soon the whole world is gonna be trimming their pubes and you don't want to be left behind trust me on that bros amen um i actually you know trimmed up my chest earlier today i was getting a little bit haywire i didn't want to trim it fully but you know i gave it a little bit of a spruce note. Let me see.

Oh, it looks great. Dude, you do it the perfect amount. Thanks. Nice. And I did that with the Lawn Mower 3.0. You can get that crop preserver. It's ball deodorant. You can get crop cleanser, body wash, crop mop, ball wipes,

all kinds of stuff for your balls. Foot duster, foot deodorant the weed whacker ear and nose and hair trimmer ear nose and hair ear and nose hair trimmer and a lot more 3.0 of course these uh formulations are all vegan cruelty free dye free sulfate free and paraben free so you know their products are legit so get 20 off plus free shipping at manscapeped.com with GoDeep20. 20% off plus free shipping with the code GoDeep20 at manscaped.com. Hell yeah. All right, I'm going to grab another brew. Is this the last one?

But there's one more Medela in there. Yes. Yes. Yes. And then let's do these Manscaped stories. I'll reset. Dude, Chad, let's talk real for a second. Yeah, let's get after it.

You think I've been a bad boy in my league, dude? Am I just a bad boy? No, I think you've got principles. Thank you. I think you've got a code. And you felt that you had to stand up for your code. And, you know, I'm sure if i were in your position in your position i would have done the same thank you dude so i think you're i think

you're a good dude you're the best dude i know you're the best dude i know that means a lot to hear you say that and i think even the other dudes who i've called the moan Boys. You know, I thought maybe they were just sticking it to me. But then I think maybe they just truly believe in what they're saying. Of, no, this rule's a rule. It's black and white. And, like, there's something to be said for that. Some people see the world that way. Some people see it a different way.

I mean, that's just, it's all about compromise, you know? You know, it's a tough situation. And from my point of view a no-win situation yeah you know that's what i mean it's like both sides it's like it's hard for both sides to give in because each has their you know their their belief so i know, man. How do you feel? Do you feel bad about it now? Yeah. You do? Yeah. Do you feel you went too far? Yeah. I mean, I took legal action.

Fancy? Yeah. Well, this is going to be a great story down the road. It will. Hopefully it will bond us all in the long run. I think it will. I had a proposal. Do you want to know what it is yeah johnson should be my co-manager next year that should be my punishment oh that's fun because then we get johnson more involved it's a benevolent i think it's a benevolent punishment because no knock on johnson's the best guy in the world we love him to death but

he doesn't know we once asked him who to name five quarterbacks like he wanted to be in our league we're like okay name five quarterbacks and the first one he said was like joe montana we asked him this in like 2018 and we're like okay five current quarterbacks and he's like um peyton manning i think this was the year like peyton manning was out with his neck and we're like come on man we need we need a quarterback from he's like tom brady we're like okay so that's his level of football knowledge but he's the best guy in the world and i think maybe that's a benevolent thing it'd be me i would i i would happily take that fine nice dude happily um yeah we'll see if ross is okay with it if greg's okay it's so funny that

ross are those two that are really pissed well i mean greg's our commissioner greg's the commish he does a great job being commish yeah and then ross is kind of the enforcer yeah he's the muscle baby but greg catches everything and greg greg's also the best on the thread i think like he's the funniest and he's the best at talking shit yeah he's great and his team kicks ass this year so greg is the one who will most dominate you on the thread so will ross and then ross is one who you've got to most worry about dominating you off the thread. So you've got to kind of appease those two guys. And right now, public enemy numero uno is this fellow right here, Strider, who seems to be reveling. Look, look, look, look.

You know your juice argument? Look, there's something to be said about liking the juice. He loved the juice. There's something to be said about liking the juice. You love the juice. There's something to be said about liking the juice. It's fun. I mean, you don't want to just stop calling the Moan Boys the Moan Boys. It's fun. It is fun.

But you know what? At what cost and can it go too far? I think we're getting there. I don't think we've gotten there at anything yet, but I think I'll just have to take my licks. I'll just have to take my L and I'll just have to pay my fine. That's what's just going to have to happen. And to the other guys in the league, I'm sorry I said Greg is the best on the thread. I said that to motivate you.

In my opinion, Daniels is the best on the thread. That's hilarious you say that. That's hilarious. He's the one guy who never responds. Although I've been a little lazy on there lately. I just threw that out there. No, it's a good one. Dude dude that's amazing that you just said that that's unbelievable good instincts um all right dudes this week we're gonna answer specific questions we sent a uh a thing out to

all the stokers we mentioned on here that we wanted manscape stories so these are the best manscape stories that y'all sent in um although i haven't really combed through them so these are kind of just the first ones i'm picking but i do think they'll be the best oh yeah and we have some kind of gift for whosoever stories our favorite our favorite gets the performance package next week we will announce it next week dank nice thank you guys for writing in thank you for being uh you know passionate about pubes um you got our full support here we go go. This one's from Sean. What up, my dogs? Also, what up to my boy Strider if he's there today?

What up? So I work at these painting classes as a side job on the weekends. I fell into the job as a broke college student and still work there because the pay is pretty good. But the curveball here is I don't teach the painting classes because I suck at painting. Self-aware man. I work as a nude model for bachelorette and ladies night events. It's essentially just women drunk on wine painting my dong for a few hours. The only job requirements

are being in shape, keeping your trims pubed, and having a decent looking dong. This guy sounds like the man. That's awesome. So one of the bachelorette parties I worked at had an odd request. They asked that I dye my pubes blue. A few days before the event, they bought this blue pubic hair dye for women and gave me a nice tip to do it. So I said, what the hell?

I like to have fun and I figured I'd give it a try. I put the dye in the day before, which was a weird experience in itself. I was going to take it easy the night before and stay in, but decided to go out for a little. I ended up getting lucky with a complete smoke and we went back to her place. She thought the dye was funny and we had a good time. I kind of figured this was a one-off thing and I'd never see her again. Well, the next day I get to the event and the girl from the night before was there too. What? We talked some more during the party and I ended up going out to the bars with her in the bachelorette party after the event this was about a year ago and me and the girl have been going

steady for a while now it's been great so far i guess the moral of the story is keeping your pubes in order can help you land a complete rocket stay stoked stay trimmed love dude it's gonna be a tough one to beat yeah that's amazing what an incredible way to start off the stories oh my gosh this guy's the man seriously dude that was cool that's the best life ever what a cool gig first of all yeah that should be a movie dude like that's a movie i wouldn't be surprised if brad pitt was like they're like what'd you do before you started making money through acting he's like I stood there nude and got painted. That's a Brad Pitt move.

This guy's like the next Brad Pitt. 100%. That's so fun. Awesome, dude. And you can tell he's a confident guy. He knows who he is. Dude, 100%. And this guy's life was just my lack of relatability of like, I was going to take it easy.

Then I went out and just got laid. Dude, that barometer of going to bed and then, you know, and then I love that you need to love his life, but it's like that can happen to this guy. I'm like, I believe it. I'm picturing Channing Tatum. Oh, dude, that's a great picture for this. A hundred percent Channing Tatum. But with a heart of gold.

Just like Channing. Yeah. This guy's a sweet dude. I assume. Yeah. All right, guys. Next up, Nicholas. What's up, dude?

Here's my story. back in high school i was in the chinese class it was a lot of fun i would say we learned more about each other than about chinese what i'm trying to say is there was a lot of banter between us students i wasn't really a popular kid by any means but i wasn't a complete weirdo either which puts me near the top of the food chain in chinese class this gave me an opportunity to banter with some really cute girls who outside of chinese class might not have even known i existed is he said chinese extra he is saying it a lot like we already know what it must like i don't know what that is like is it just like a spanish class or a language class or like a cultural class well one day we had to do a partner project and the teacher picked the

partners i i was put with one of the two smokes in the classroom. Of course you can imagine. Everyone's just gone. These are good. Yeah. Of course you can imagine. I was super stoked. It was a video project and I was super into video editing. So I was really ready to tackle this thing.

The day of filming, she decided we go film at her house, which I don't remember how we came to that decision exactly, except that it was more of her choice. As I was getting ready to go over to her house, a thought only a junior in high school could come up with occurred. Of course, because maybe there was a slim chance in the universe, maybe she'd make a move on me or just something stupid like that. I decided to trim my pubes. Total cringe move. First of all, what an idiot of thinking I'd have a chance. Second, what an idiot for thinking the context of filming a Chinese school video project would be a

provoking one. Because I didn't trim my pubes often, I maybe spent 15 minutes trying to wrangle the hairs with a shitty razor, which ended up being a total waste of time. Well, I go over to my house. My mom dropped me off because I didn't have my license yet. We record the video. It goes okay, pretty chill. We have a laughter in the filming. And before you knew it, we were done. At this point, I knew nothing was going to happen, even though I didn't even give it a shot. I believe that if she was into me like that, she would have made it obvious. And I just didn't catch the vibe. So she offered to drive me home. And in the the end we ended up getting an a on the project I really can't complain except for the 15 minutes I wasted in vain I suppose this is a pretty

anticlimactic story but I think it chronicles the mindset of the high school male pretty well or is it just cringy either way I'm far away enough from it all now to look back and laugh at myself cheers well I think that's nice you can laugh at yourself but honestly dude i don't think what you did was that um weird i think i probably would have done the same thing i think we've all trimmed our pubes just hoping for the best yeah and it's kind of like look the part be the part like you feel like if you make that commitment like you're gonna put yourself in a position to succeed later so you'll you'll make you'll make it happen you're picturing the whole the ball going into the hole yeah bro i would trim my pubes before every middle school dance blast the venga boys use fisker scissors take 20 minutes

and i had never kissed a girl and yeah bro i wish i would have had a lawnmower back then no he's just his dome's in the right spot yeah i trim my pews before the cakewalk at the school carnival yeah dude that's smart um But he, I like this guy, though. He's self-aware. Seems like a good hang. He's a cool dude. Yeah. Did he take Chinese class, though?

I wasn't sure. Burn. Zing, dude. Growing up with your friends. This is from Nick. Growing up with your friends and seeing all of your bodies change at different times can be scary. I was the first one to grow a lot of butt hair. My cheeks were covered, and honestly, I was self-conscious about it. Mooning passerbys was not as fun as it used to be.

It turned into more of a nightmare. There was my teenage years and flashing cheeks were synonymous with the age. We were 16 years old and we were starting to get into girls. I would think about what if she saw my hairy cheeks and left. The embarrassment would have been tremendous. In pornographic videos, all the guys are clean shaved. One day we had planned to meet up with some babes at the plaza and i needed to make a change i didn't know how to tackle the task i needed help my friend david was the only one who would help me we were at a mutual friend's house and he shaved my ass on our friend's couch it felt awkward at first but i knew that it would help me get rid of all my fears my friend's mom walked in on david shaving my ass and we were told to go home i rode my skateboard home with half of my butt shaved. I will never forget that feeling.

That was a good one. Dude, skating with half of butt shaved, I mean, that's got to, you know, that's really got to affect your push. Mm-hmm. You know, and it's,

I feel for him. And I'm sorry I had to go through that. I'm sorry. His friendship sounds legit with that dude who was shaving his butt though that's a movie dude yeah those two guys just having each other's back like that and not being weird about it she'd be like yo bro i got you the best like i don't think you should feel bad about your butt i think it's legit to have butt hair i think it's masculine i think it you know probably on some level suggests high testosterone but if you don't

like it i'm here to help you feel better so So bring over those nice cheeks and let me make them clean. Love that. Smack that ass. Smack that ass up. Sup, dudes? So this one time I was getting ready to go out and party with the homies. I was stoked. By this point, I pre-gamed my shower beer with a shot and was overall feeling good about the night.

That's when I clipped my dong. I don't want to read the ones about clipping your dong. I'm sorry, guys. Oh brutal brutal son of dudes yeah i appreciated his vibe though yeah chad jt strider what up what up i'm like 14 years old sitting on the toilet just took a massive come on dude just took a massive shit and i'm like man look at that bush bush it's got to be like three inches long. Just completely covers my dong. Never trimmed before. I see a pair of scissors

and this guy cut his sack too. Guys, come on. Dude, but dude, this guy's hilarious. He's a funny guy for sure, yeah. If I was 14 and I was writing into a podcast, I would totally tell him I just took a dump. That thing is the funniest thing I ever said. The next one was a guy who also sounds cool

because he says, call me Zandrew. Zandrew. Guys, I'm being a baby. No, no, we don't want to have too much gore. No, and I said, I was like, bros, we're not going to really like the ones where there's bodily fluids. And then everybody was like, dude, we hear you. But mine's different. But I nicked my sack in a very unique fashion my friend hey legends there's this girl i've been talking to hanging out with for about a month i'm super

stoked about her and would like to make her my girlfriend when we hang out things are perfect in my mind oh this is just a regular question dude i'm sorry guys hey we'll answer this one too just go for it bro bro. You got it. You're going to be anxious. You can get through it. You'll be all right. We all feel anxious when we're around someone we like. You just got to believe in yourself and know it'll get easier.

Sophomore slump. This is from JD. It was the middle of final season. Sophomore year, snow covered the rooftops and trees were naked as frantic college students camped out in libraries, study halls, and coffee shops in an effort to make it out of the semester in one piece. I, myself, an experienced procrastinator, was passing my classes

by the skin of my teeth. I was the type of student who relied on attendance grades to get by. The final season, though, is different. Ever since midterms, I was in a scholarly slump. I couldn't pass a test for the life of me. I couldn't pass a sobriety test either. Yep, college was having its way with me it was the morning of my calculus final i studied for two weeks i digested so many formulas theorems and symbols that i dreamt in greek in fact the god spoke to me i woke up from my dream and immediately forgot

what they said i turned on my shower picked out the empty beer cans from the tub and climbed in when the water hit my face my dream came back to me it was athena a goddess of wisdom shave your pubes jd look after your hog i snapped out of it the shower water sprayed my face streamed down my neck and followed my treasure trail all the way down to my dong region i examined my pubes taking a hard look i didn't like what was looking back at me a cloud circled my bush like pig pen and peanuts my bush looked like it could grow legs and walk off my bush was so big it looked like it was plotting to swallow me whole my bush was was preparing to invade Iraq for oil. It was safe to say that Athena was right. I took my pube trimmers and got to work. Like a groundskeeper, I chopped through the thick Bermuda grass rough

and turned it into a pristine fairway. Prepped for a major tournament, I was proud and ready to take on calculus. When I sat down for the test, I had a new air of confidence. You know what they say, look good, feel good, feel good, play good, good play good play good play pay good i flew through the calculus exam like alan from the hangover i was one with numbers like the casino my calc professor didn't know what hit him colors were brighter time slowed down i could feel the synapses in my brain as i jotted down decimals now he trims his pubes on every test day it's his game day routine lebron tossed chalk i washed my pubes swirl over my shower drain. When I use my Manscaped lawnmower, I feel like I am taking one of Bradley Cooper's Limitless pills.

Trimming my pubes doesn't only make me a better student, it makes me a better human. I began studying world religions. I nursed an injured chipmunk to good health, and I had sex again. Let that be a lesson to all these young students out there to slump. Get back on the horse and grab those trimmers. Your balls will thank you.

That was a great one. Yeah. Very motivational. Very nice motivational very nice for sure so guys we have to pick a winner who do you guys who's your guys's fave i mean that first one just stuck with me agreed i think it's sean sean you're the guy thank you dude thank you for that wonderful story it was a i'm gonna carry that with me through my tough days. That'll be something I remember. Absolutely. Like a token of optimism. 100%. And thank you to everyone who wrote in. You guys are all legends.

And I loved hearing about your pubes. Let's get into it. Chad, what's your B for the week? My B for the week? I was having trouble finding a beef of the week this week. That's a nice week. That's a nice week, yeah. Yeah, my beef of the week is with, you know,

the devastating... My beef of the week is with Something I discovered this weekend You know around this time I like to go to J.Crew Get some new tees You know get a solid white Solid black Maybe a navy

Maybe a light pink You know I like pink I'm a pink guy I go into J.Crew And I'm like what up dude You see me in here every december and every may where are the essential teas and he's like dude we're out bro i'm like what's up he's like you know it's hard to keep making teas during corona and uh we just don't have any more teas

and i'm like but dude i'm i'm preparing for winter like how am i gonna you know how am i gonna like bring steez to most you know situations especially during the holidays you know i'm supposed to be jolly and i have to look you know i have to have swag and this is how i do it i do it with the j crew essential teas you know basic white basic black navy white pink after i manscape how what am i supposed to do he's like i don't know what to tell you bro we all have to make sacrifices this this year and i was like it's too true dude it's too true it's just funny too this this thing will hit you in unintended or like kind of just unexpected ways like you're like oh i know there's probably not gonna be as many people out but you don't

think jay crew's gonna be running short on crew next there's like you know it's just like it just goes to show man like you know be grateful for for the things you take for granted, you know? For sure. Essential teas, TP, and ball trimmers. Hell yeah. What's your beef of the week? Dude, my beef of the week? Like

Chad, I was like, dude, I've been having a pretty chill week, dude. And, you know, we did mention Sonny earlier, but maybe I'm just beefing with sunny a little bit because dude he knows how to sit he knows what sit is yet he's testing his boundaries with me he is setting boundaries with me as i am setting them with him and that's a little frustrating dude i took him back from a walk the other night, and I like to make him sit before we go into the apartment.

So he's just relaxed, like that's going to be a ritual. And it just sort of sets him up of like coming to a door he waits rather than like running through stuff. I want him to have that habit. And bro, I was like, sit. It was like I took him out late after playing COD at like 1230, and we just sat there for like five minutes, and he literally just looked at me, and I was like, sit. It was like I took him out late after playing COD at like 1230. And we just sat there for like five minutes. And he literally just looked at me and I just looked at him.

And I was like, dude, just sit, bro. I'm going to give you a treat. Then I pulled the treat out so he could see it. And then he finally does it. That's heavy. I know, dude. He's busting my balls, dude. He's cute, though, dude. That's the thing. he knows he can get away with it he's cute dude if you need uncle chad to come over there and put

some boots on and just flex on him i do i'm one call away bro i do need that you know you haven't met him yet uh jt you met him briefly briefly you gotta meet him dude he's you'll love him he loves snuggling and kissing dude well i'll do i'll do whatever you Briefly. You got to meet him. Dude, you'll love him. He loves snuggling and kissing, dude. I'll do whatever you need to get him to sit. I won't give him that love straight up. I'll square up and I'll be like, sit. He will need that. Presenting in front of him, if you present yourself like that.

You can tell me to sit and I'll sit. And he'll follow because he's like, this guy's chill. Dude, it takes a village. Actually, sometimes if I'd be on, like, if my dad's friends were around and I acted like a dick, my dad would have his friends talk to me about it rather than him. That's perfect. Because he knew if, like, it was him, I might be like, hey, back off, man.

But if it was one of his friends, I was like, well, I mean, if Pedro's upset at me, I should probably listen. Totally. And, like, if I sit, you give me some pokey and you can see, you know, it's like, oh, Chad got his treat. Maybe if I sit and I nod dick about it, I'll get my treat. Dude, and then you get to eat doggy treats again? Yeah.

Dude, I'm- We used to eat those all the time. I love eating doggy treats. So tasty. Dude, would you do that at parties? At a house party, I ate a doggy treat one time. I was like, I'll do it. Oh, yeah.

I ate some dog food. I mean, I just walk in, snag a bone, just fucking chomp on it. A lot of milk bone. You know it. That's what's up. Dude, my beef of the week is not even a beef. It's really just about the legends and the babes that will give me feedback on my Instagram stories sometimes. Like, I do a lot of stuff with me weightlifting.

And if I'm doing deadlifts or doing, like, a complicated movement like that, I'll always get feedback like, Hey, bro, keep your head neutral. Hey dude, pull more from your butt. You're using your lower back a little bit. And instinctively I get a little annoyed because I'm like, Hey bro, how about you just back off? But then I think about, I'm like, dude, this person's just trying to get you to improve. They're trying to protect your wellbeing in the long run. And honestly, they just, they think enough of you that they think you can handle this kind of feedback, honest feedback and i was like you know what fuck yeah and i think it has helped my technique yeah so that's what's up dude keep sending me that stuff keep telling me what could be better some dudes get on me for doing the same workout too much they're like bro you're just doing

the same complex movements over and over again mix it up and it doesn't you know i don't go wholesale changes but i definitely tweak it a little bit because i'm like look i know they're paying attention so that's what's up i totally hear you when you when you get like that feedback of instinctively you're like don't tell me what to do but then you just let it settle and you're like oh what a nice what a nice guy right yeah there is something you're just like what yeah but then you think about you're like for sure yeah chad who's your babe of the week dude it's interesting you brought up that beef because my babe of the week is your are your arms whoa come on dude dude your arms no yeah we were doing tiktoks we were doing tiktoks which

you're getting in the next one right baby let's go showing the world you know adapting to the platform adapt you know showing the world how horny we are and dude your arms are just like fucking you know you look at him you're like yeah that guy's that guy's ripped bro fuck dude that feels so good the buys they're thick they're thick dude you want to know story he's always had great arms but they're looking more defined and chiseled now yeah because you've always had great density and bulk to your arms yeah in fact there was a a friend of my gfs was an improv class with you one time and then was talking to my gf afterwards and and she thought jt was cute and one of the things that she said about him was he had nice arms yeah that's a true story when he

told me that story yeah yeah hayley you know why is it funny to say her name it is great yeah what if she's a huge fan dude her boyfriend might be a huge fan she was cool she was really nice and good at improv yeah yeah um so and they they uh inspired me so much that after we filmed that last tiktok i did some renegade rose the next day i love that that, dude. I was like, I know my body. I'm not like the lifter type. That's not what my body's suited for, but I got to get a little bit more mass. You've always done those renegade rows

because when we went on our first trip together to AZ, you would do that in the gym. Yeah, yeah. And they just give me a little bit more pop that I'm looking for. I remember you doing those. I remember seeing you. I was like, beast.

Yeah. And I love that, dude. I love that. That's what this workout stuff, it's all about just motivating each other. Oh, for sure. I remember you doing those. I remember seeing you. I was like beast. Yeah. And I love that dude. I love that. It's like, that's what this workout stuff. It's all about just motivating each other. Oh, for sure.

Fired out. Yeah. When you're doing this, just you're like, you're just like arms, dude. Dude, I wish we would've shot the TikToks before

cause I'm in house and some beer. I might slow down. It's going to give me some bloat dog. I mean, when you're that chiseled, it shows up. When you're that defined, it shows up.

You just got to keep an eye on it. But, but also, you know, I can't be too, you're fine. You're fine. Dude, you're that chiseled, it shows up. When you're that defined, it shows up. You just got to keep an eye on it. But also, you know, I can't be too rigorous. No, you're fine. You're fine. Dude, you're looking good. Do those overhead push-ups you're doing? Don't think I'll see those. That really means a lot to me, Chad.

Thank you, dude. Anytime. Because I really like your body. Dude. And I think it looks great on camera. Oh, dude, thank you. You have a great body. It's true.

You have a very good handle on where it should be and how to keep it there. Thanks. Thanks, bro. Yeah. You're making me tear up. You have a performance good handle on where it should be and how to keep it there thanks for us it's yeah you're making me tear up you have a performance body oh it's it's you know you're out there in the water you can really surf you know land snow water you can shred anything with a rig like yours it's a great point too because i remember crazy stupid love in that movie just friends came out relatively in the same time period and gossing was so shredded and crazy stupid love but i was never that enamored with his

body because while it looked aesthetically pleasing it didn't look physically capable right it looked like fashion over function but then when i saw timberlake shirtless and just friends i was like he's got more of an athletic body it's not as like show pc with the cut yeah with the with the level of chisel but it's like you could tell if you play basketball with him you'd pick him before gosling like if gosling was playing like a you know uh like a navy seal or something in a movie he'd be like i wouldn't trust that guy no he's all glam yep he's not he can't flip a tire exactly not like james badgedale flips a tire in uh 13th hour yeah impressive stuff totally that way he's a beast strider who's your baby of the week dude Dude, my baby of the week's got to be my GF because, dude, she absolutely hit it out of the freaking park with this new, we went Elming, dude.

That's where we cruised to West Elm, although we just had to do it virtually over the weekend, dude. We're sipping dank coffees and Elming on her laptop on the couch with our dank dog. on the couch with our dank dog and dude she nailed these shelves like a bookshelf for this one space i was like what do we put there dude do we put like a mini denza and i'm like i don't want to you know get a mini denza i want something full then we're like oh do we put like a record player thing she's like no you know what i think a bookshelf would go great in this space dude it looks so good bro showed up the wood is dense the materials are fantastic we put a tractor on there and a dank globe and some good books that my gf has freaking read multiple times over and it just really is every time i look at it it really does boost my stoke it makes it

giving us much more of a homey vibe which i like that's what's up dude yeah she's got an uncanny eye for that stuff dude it's unreal dude and she's honest with herself too like she'll she'll get some stuff she'll be like i missed on this it's chill they got a dank return policy it's all good and then she's not gonna settle like i she'll show me a rug and i'm kind of classic dude i'm like oh i like that then she'll show me another one i'm like oh i kind of like that too she's like what do you see that the difference in the fabrics and the thickness here are you really gonna like that and you realize that this rug's tasseled and i'm like you know what you're right i don't like those tassels she's like well all right well that's

fire it's fire yeah she's got such a good eye it's unbelievable dude dude my my babe of the week is uh my my babe of the week is oberyn martell the prince, the red viper from Game of Thrones. He played wonderfully by Pedro Pascal in kind of like his breakthrough role. And what I love about this guy is he's having a good time with everything in life, even the parts that would seem like they suck. Like if your sister got murdered and you avenged her death, that'd probably be a pretty stressful and frustrating thing to try and avenge. But he's having a good time with it. He's like, I'm here to avenge my sister. And he's pissed off, but he's still hooking up with chicks. He's still hooking up

with dudes. He's drinking. And he just seems to be like, look, this is my life. You know what I mean? I don't pick what my problems are. I just fix them. And I liked that he was kind of partying his way through it. Cause like you're saying like dealing with Sonny, you know what I mean? You're like, dude, why is this dog checking me? why do i got to put this dog in its place like you kind of you get mad at the at the things that make you stressed out but what if we just embraced it you know what i mean and we're just like you know what i'm still gonna be a hedonistic fun time while taking care of my shit amen and look did he gloat a little bit too much when he had the mountain on his back should he had gone straight for the kill that was his weakness you know what i mean he was having too good of a much when he had the mountain on his back? Should he have gone straight for the kill? That was his weakness. You know what I mean?

He was having too good of a time when he should have been more serious. But we learned that lesson from him and we can check it in ourselves. We know when to take the lampshade off our head and put our dong away and just file our taxes. So thank you for that lesson, Oberyn. In life and in death, you were teaching us. So you're a beast, dude. Check him out on Prospect.

Did you watch the movie on netflix yet it's pretty dank is it good prospect yeah it's like a space movie has kind of like an annihilation vibe but way better sweet annihilation had just one great part just came out it's on netflix is dank yeah it had one good sequence one great part where the bear which looked really creepy instead of a bear growl had like a woman's cry. Oh, I remember that, yeah. That was cool. Yeah, that... But then the ending was kind of whack. Yeah. Was that guy Alexander Garland?

The director? Yeah, is that who did that? Alex Garland? I think so. The guys who did Deuce Ex Machina 2. Great movie. And then he did Devs. Is Devs good?

The acting's pretty horrendous. There's some good actors, but the main girl, not my favorite. Dude, do you think when they're producing the TV show The Deuce, anyone ever was in the writer's room and they're like, Hey, does anyone take umbrage with the fact that Deuce is like, people often say I'm going to drop a deuce. Does anyone think this, when people hear the title of the show they're gonna think about shit they should have thought when they were writing the show that watching this show is less exciting than watching someone

drop a deuce oh my god there's meticulous storytelling and then there's just not caring about entertainment mr Mr. Simon. And I call him Mr. Simon. I look up to the guy a lot. Very boring. Treme. If you want to fall asleep while dropping a deuce, watch that show while you're on there.

Did the Schmoll send me a video of his dog dropping a deuce today? It's better than anything I saw on Instagram like all week. You were talking about this on a work Zoom work zoom earlier yeah yeah it was awesome because what were you saying about the eyes because he was just staring at he the dog was just staring at the phone at the camera and just pushing and you feel like you can see shame in the eyes right yeah well they they look at you they're like they know they're vulnerable so they're just like they're giving you that look they're like I know you could wreck my shit right now. So I'm just going to stare at you while I just pinch this loaf. That's true.

No, but the thing is, is they trust the owner. Right. That dog trusts Schmoll because, and it's looking at him for his reaction. So it's going, if he reacts to anything in space right now, I've got to just pinch this off and bolt. Yeah. Because I am vulnerable. Yeah. He doesn't necessarily, the dog's not necessarily thinking, oh, the owner's going to get me right now.'ve got to just pinch this off and bolt yeah because i am vulnerable yeah he doesn't necessarily the dog's not necessarily thinking oh the owner's gonna get me right now he's thinking there's other stuff the owner's looking out for me he's more alert

i'm gonna base my reaction on his his dog's on lookout chad who's your legend of the week my legend of the week is a stoker uh his name is ty i don't know his last name but ty what up uh ty was on the uh stream last night and uh guys you gotta hop on on the stream again soon i'd love to yep um stokers were streaming username deep chat on twitch and uh we were playing with stokers last night and ty first off incredible war zone player just an absolute legend really oh dude you gotta play with this guy i mean like hell yeah you just you just feel so secure if you get like downed or if you get like sent to the gulag or something you're like i know ty's gonna take care of this this situation um but also on top of that you know he was he's helping uh he's helping

facilitate getting stokers into the next round like he would enter the chat and he's like anyone who wants to play you know i'll put you in the queue and so we'd finish around we'd say like later dudes fun playing with you and then we'd add him to the party he's like all right i got two more dudes ready and he was just like he's just facilitating all because he's an awesome dude and a nice guy and a legend at Warzone. So I just want to give him a shout-out. Great dude. Ty, what up?

Thanks for being a legend. And can't wait to get a W with you. Nice, dude. That's great. What a dude. Strider, who's your legend of the week? Dude, my legend of the week has to be this group of dudes that I paid. I don't know if I told you guys this.

I told you guys this i told you a while back but i paid some dudes some dough to make a documentary just about like sort of my life you know doing valet and stuff and we started filming like in february and then it was taking a while and then covid hit so a lot of it changed and we hit some hiccups and this dude who's the legend of the week is this dude steven gwede dude good dude who directed it and um i just paid some fat tips for these dudes to just sort of document it's called the dank quest and honestly i was like dude because i've been watching a lot of documentaries and i was thinking to myself like dude kind of people find out about themselves in these movies you know so i was like i want to find out stuff about myself i think the best way to do

is probably just make a movie you know and then that'll happen you know so i paid these dudes 8 500 bucks and um fucking right before covid so that was a bad call um financially but i think maybe artistically it could be dank you know so this dude steven just pulled through he broke his leg um and had a ton of time to edit so he beasted it and we're to put it out December 21st, dude. So keep an eye out for the dank quest, dude. This guy came through

and got it done, so I'm fired up with a dank doc. And originally, I wanted you guys to, you know, get in there, but just wasn't COVID safe

to really do it. So we'll see. But I'm just fired up on it, dude. You know? Created some art. Dude, that's what's up. Can't wait to see it. Congrats, up. Can't wait to see it. Congrats, dude.

Can't wait to watch it. Thank you. Watch that thing. Share it. Send it to your family. Yeah. You know it's going to be uplifting, wholesome,

intelligent, and dynamic material from one of the true legends of all time. But specifically, we get to live in his time. The Strad Dog. Dude, thank you so much, bro. That means a ton, dude.

Thank you so much. And yeah, you guys can see, we'll put it on Insta and stuff. The stride dog. Dude, thank you so much, bro. That means a ton, dude. Thank you so much. We'll put it on Insta and stuff. The world is about to embark on a dank list. I just smooched Strider. Can I get a close-up of this smooch that I just gave him? Because we didn't catch it the first time. That is the best smooch. I want to give you one back.

Just real quick. Chad, get in the middle. Nice. Good smooch. I want to give you one back just real quick. Chad, get in the middle. Nice. Good smooches. Dude, that's a great smooch face. Subtle little kisses. Here, Chad's got his pecs out. Oh, dude, look at that functional rig, dude.

Such a good shave job. Dude, look at that face you're making, dude. Are you a bad boy? What, dude? Whoa. Whoa. There's a bad boy in the building. Is that Chad or the letter v dude look

at that torso whoa yeah leaving little to the imagination ladies gentlemen this is what it looks like when chad the conqueror goes down yeah on you just otter boxing dude what a beast dude my legend of the week and i'm nervous to get into this because i want to pay high respect to this person is a diagenesis diagenis the diogenes diogenes dude i never say it right it's my legend uh the leader of the the cynic movement and philosophy in ancient greek times and so you know today we think about cynics as people who like kind of think the worst outcome is most likely to happen but back then it just meant you didn't believe in like um i don't know just like the the social standards of the day because you just think they're kind of arbitrary

or or performative and so he would just like live his life like a raw wild man and i always appreciate people who live their philosophy diogenes he lived it dude you know he was he he didn't want material goods. He'd walk into the symposium where all these philosophers are doing their heady work, talking about the nature of learning. And he's like, you know what? I'm just going to pee in front of all of you. And then he would jack off in front of people. He'd be naked in front of people. And I think in today's time, it's not really the time to do that. You know what I mean? Because I don't think he was really thinking about how that was affecting everybody, specifically the ladies. You know what I mean?

But I like that he was sticking it to the philosophers like that. And as someone who loves to drop dong and always thought about it as more than just perversion, but thought I was really being transgressive in an important way and showing that small dongs, that there should be no shame in them. I'm glad that there was like an intellectual forefather for that movement. And then he just had dank one-liners too. Like Alexander the Great was a big fan and he rolled up on him he's like hey dude if you ever need a favor you know like people in power they want to

be close to these like dangerous artist types and but they're really trying to co-opt you into their movement so that they can look cool but he stuck to his guns like alexander the great was like hey can i get you anything he's like yeah can you move you're blocking the sun dude he likes to tan we love to tan i mean could this guy be any more in our wheelhouse total beast and yeah i just i love that he was just out there doing his own way he died at 89 they think because he ate some bad raw octopus i love octopus i think it's great so i don't know i just i really appreciate the way this guy went after it so so good on you dude good on you for living it like you said it and sticking to it and and just being a wild man but with a brain a wild man with a brain that was awesome chad

what's your quote of the week my quote of the week comes from atlee jackson from gone 60 seconds played by um who's that guy we talked about um who fromageddon. He's the detective? Will Patton? Will Patton. Atlee Jackson played by Will Patton. It's Kip. He took a boost. Fuck. No, you got it, dude.

You're crushing it. It's Kip. He took a boost. A big boost well i'll try it one more time it's kip he took a boost a big boost what's kip doing on a boost that's what's up i love that thanks dude strider what's your quote of the week let's see here dude been watching some dank movies recently i watched virtuosity dude great movie yeah dude and russell

crowe dude he's unreal pathological but he's he's seductive and his laughs i'm like there's i'm like he's gotta say some stuff in there where he's like, this is my symphony. Dude, you never really see Russell as like the bad guy. He always like gives himself good roles, and Denzel's great in it. I'm like, damn, there's got to be something from virtuosity of like. But then I was watching Snowden. Have you guys seen Snowden with J.J. Rowling? No, Oliver Stone directed.

He kind of does like a, it's pretty interesting. I want to learn more about Snowden, but like J.J. Levin? No, Oliver Stone directed. He kind of does like a, it's pretty interesting. I want to learn more about Snowden, but like J.J. Levin's just like, maybe my quote of the week just needs to be his voice. And I'm not exactly sure what he says, but like the Snowden voice of J.J. Levin doing it because he's so baby faced is hilarious.

He like kind of does this like lower draw. He's like, interesting. Is that a, is that an Enigma machine? And then Nick Cage is like, no, it's actually a trig machine. It was never cracked. Enigma was.

This was basically what prevented the Cold War. And then he was like, amazing. So I know it's not the best quote of the week, but just this voice from JGL did. This is my badge from the CIA. This is my badge from this. This is my badge. I have information that needs to be released.

I think he stood up for what he believed in. Did I watch his Joe Rogans? Have you watched those? No. They're very interesting. Wait, Snowden's on Rogan? Yeah. Twice.

He zooms in. Amazing. It looks like he's coming from a bunker. Yeah, dude. What's the status with him right now? Does the United States still want him for treason? Yeah. think he's in russia and russia granted him like asylum asylum and maybe citizenship they keep him safe over there because it makes us look bad so like they're stoked on having him there yeah but i i yeah it sounds like it sounds like he was looking out for

the american people i don't know too much but from where it sounds like he was looking out for the american people i don't know too much but from where it sounds like he was looking out for the american people and for the good you know he's like true patriotism is when you um do things that will benefit the people not the people in power right i think that's basically what he said but then i heard other people say that his actions cause you know some agents to die uh some some like spies to to you know they were uh they were made so i don't know if that's true i don't really know but yeah he uh oh it's interesting yeah the whole surveillance thing when you snarly do because uh i remember i was younger and i heard about you know surveillance and stuff and they're looking at they have like all your info and all that kind of stuff i was like well i'm not doing anything bad you know what's the

what's the point but then as you i think as you get a little bit older you're kind of like yeah i think you kind of i've kind of turned a corner on him like yeah well it's information i mean data has surpassed like oil as far as what's the like I think you kind of, I've kind of turned a corner on him. Yeah, well, it's information. I mean, data has surpassed like oil as far as what's the most, like it gives you all the stats on how you're going to purchase, maybe your life trajectory,

health insurance company, like companies and people will find a way to use this to their benefit, not necessarily yours. Yeah. But I hear what you're saying because I watched this Alex Gibney documentary called Zero Days

about this computer virus we use called Stuxnet and we use it to to destroy the iran like uh nuclear reactors that they were using just via like someone plugging in with a usb or you don't even think you need a usb that's what made it so incredible you could just like infiltrate people remotely but then it ended up going to our people we didn't know would start using and it kind of became a pandora's box thing but one of the like anonymous secret agents in that movie is like look snowden was like a rookie like he released too much information he should have picked and choosed what he released because some of the stuff made people like in jeopardy yeah so all stuff is so nuanced it's crazy yeah can you imagine if you were like in russia and you like saw like edward snowden he's like what up

dude what up bro that would be crazy whose quote of the week is it it's i basically didn't have one i was i just like brought up snowden dude my quote of the week i'll stick with the uh greek philosophy theme um it's from the movie everybody wants some one of my favorite bro movies of all time uh jake is talking to beverly the lady that he's interested in played by zoe deuch i think but he talks about how his entrance exam for a college he talked about or his application he talked about sisyphus and he's like the gods intend sisyphus to suffer right and then he goes well my point was that they'd actually blessed him with something to focus on something that he could potentially find meaning in it's a gift to be striving at all even if it looks futile to

others i mean yeah it's ridiculous to roll a boulder up a mountain over and over again but so is everything else in life i love that that's awesome what's your phrase of the week for getting after it my phrase of the week for getting after it is like is hey dudes drink up because otters dicks are getting brittle that would fire me up. Let's go! For the otter cock. For the little otter cock that breaks.

That's the breakage. You hear that? It's another cock down. Gotta get him back up. Dante, did that fuck you up when we told you that? Did you know that info? Dude, I did not. And otters are like my favorite animal.

Dude, Dante. That's true for a lot of us, bro. Yeah. You want them to have strong cocks, huh? They got to. Amen. Use a keg, bros, and only drink from the hose because we're not putting any cups in the ocean tonight.

For the otter's cock. Otter cock. Otter's cock otter cock otter cock otter cock otter cock and then no one ever polluted again after the whole nation chanted that. That might be what needs to happen, dude. That might be a next cause. Dude, people want to critique presidents, say they didn't come through. Yeah, I blame all these past administrations for not protecting Ottercocks.

You know? Dude, I hope my son creates an Ottercock stint. I think it's called a stint like in a heart uh or that or like when you break a finger you get like that metal encasing so you don't move your finger oh yeah so it's like a splint yeah an otter an otter cock splint so it's like he'll put the splint on the otter's dick yeah you know so he'll be like he'll be like no worries little buddy like just keep that on your cock let it strengthen up and take it off, and you'll get back to your smooth plowing in no time.

And, dude, that's good. That's like dog. You kind of kind of talk to the otter smooth about it. Except what I learned with, like, now having a dog, you're going to put a splint on an otter's cock. You've got to get it in the right head space. You've got to be like, look, dude, look a little chiller. It's all good, dude.

I know your dick's brittle right now, but i got this little splint take it easy chill chill chill put it on there fire dude you have to whisper horse whisper otter cock whisper exactly dude we're talking about the same whisper same thing strider what's your phrase that we're getting after my phrase of the week for getting after it has got to be um uh when i say to my gf she goes shutter um what are you doing what do you want to do for dinner and i gotta go oh um maybe let's just do leftovers because i'm gonna do the pod with the fucking boys i'm potting with the boys. Boom. Nice. My phrase, potting with the boys.

There's a fun irony here in my phrase of the week because we made a conscious effort to have less clips promoting the podcast on Instagram be about dicks. We said we were going to do a no dick December for the clips. And we've talked about dicks, said we were going to do a no dick december for the clips and um we've talked about dicks even by our high standards a remarkable amount of time on this this pod and i'm hard right now and my phrase of the week is more dick talk so to jack who cuts our clips and who you know we talked to about this this new mandate i'm sorry because i don't know if you're going to be able to find any dickless content in this entire two hours.

And to capstone it off, I got more dick talk. I've found something nice that you can do for your friends is when you see their dicks, when they're peeing on the golf course or something like that. And I did this with Strider yesterday. When you see their dick, just look at them and go, hey, buddy, your dick looks a little bigger today. Just give them that gift. Just say, hey, have you been hey buddy your dick looks a little bigger today just give them that gift just say hey have you been lifting your dick looks bigger hey you're playing a great round

of golf i think it's making your dick longer just say that anytime you say you see your buddy's dick just say hey looks a little bigger today partner dick's looking big bro still putting size on huh 32 and it's getting bigger how do you do it dude i i don't know how i would respond if someone told me that my dick looked bigger straight it would be positive but i just i'd be so ecstatic i'd just being on the receiving end you know somewhere on the golf course i was taking a leak in a bush and jt saw my dick said dude your dick's looking a little bigger and i immediately smile on my face i looked down at my penis i looked back up at jt we made eye contact and i was like are you for real and he's like yeah man very casual thank you

and it was true your dick did look bigger yeah thank you dude and it felt bigger because you shot a 42 on the front that does something to your dick it did something to my dick and it was cold out too that day it was not it was not warm but you play bogey golf, your dick gets a little bigger. Mm-hmm. I can imagine Jack just like at the computer, just like, oh. And his girlfriend's like, what's wrong? What's wrong, honey? He's like, I mean, these guys, they told me not to post clips about dicks, but literally the entire podcast, they're talking about dicks.

Like, what are they doing? Yeah, he's like thinking like connecting the dots like in minority report and he's like he's like whistling through all the time he's like i think if i cut one little time stamp from 1712 just just cut that i think i can combine it with something at 52 20 and if i combine that it might be a solid minute of no dick talk it's just gonna be like it's impossible you can't do it i've been listening this whole time it's all dick talk he's like no i can find it hold on wait honey what about their ad reads their ad reads can't be about dicks it's manscaped they talk about trimming their pubes it's all dick talk the whole thing's wall-to-wall dicks

they tried to talk about science for a minute it turned into dicks yeah what about what they talked when they talked to their the new sound engineer dicks yeah what about what they talked about when they talked to their the new sound engineer they talked to him about dicks they talked to him about his dick it's all dicks honey it's dicks everywhere he's just having dreams or just dicks are flying in his face he's like i can't get away from the tears yeah it's it's truly we put you in an unfair position dude i'm sorry dog but you got bro. There's got to be some dickless talk in here. And we're sorry, Dante, too. I hope you enjoy dong talk because this was certainly a large dose.

I can't say I was prepared, but, you know, I'm cool with it. We took you straight into the deep end, partner. Yeah. We didn't go easy on you. No, that's how I like it. Yeah, your first time in here, we're like, look, we're going to give them the full dose, okay? Yeah, I told my mom. I was like, yeah, this is going to be a pretty chill gig.

You can check it out. Yeah. Oh, yeah, dude. No, she's going to hear a lot. Yeah, yeah. Dude, should we record some TikToks of us shirtless? Yeah. Yeah.

All right, let's do it. All right. Thank you, Dante. Thanks, Dante. Legend, dude. Thanks for all your Manscaped stories, guys. Guys, check out our merch and our wines and write a review. Hell yeah.

Oh, yeah, baby. Everyone's getting small dong shirts this year, dude. Oh yeah baby, everyone's getting small dong shirts this year dude. Oh that was fun dude. The dicks. advice These guys are really nice You wanna know What to do Where to go When you need

someone to guide you Just a half a throat beside you Go and see Go and see Let's go Go with me Go with me Let's go deep Go with me Got a name to