Going Deep with Chad and JT - Ep. 17 - Strider Visits on Break, Small Dongs, Big Waves, and Heartbreak

Episode Date: May 9, 2018

On this episode, Strider visits the squad after breaking free from Benihanas for the hour!  Also, we dive deep into little dongs, serial killers, aggro Dads, sunburns, Barry Bonds, the importance of a gf, and just being open with your dawgs in a warm, supportive, stoked out environment. For bonus content, check out our patreon: www.patreon.com/chadgoesdeep

Stokers what's up guys welcome to episode 17 of the going deep with Chad and JT podcast what up I'm Chad I'm here with my colleague JT what up what up Stokers how you doing dude I'm doing well dude I'm feeling like on top of my game today yeah i'm feeling good too i'm feeling stoked especially because we got a new presence in the room we got our boy he's uh off on break at benihana our boy strider what up dude dude what up dude stoked to be in here right now dude just chilling with you guys it's been too long dude honestly long overdue yeah this is your first episode on the pod welcome dude thank you dude honored to

be here i'll watch your guys's episodes on my 10 minute at benihana dude just yeah just busting up dude like learning everything dude guys are freaking legends dude thanks dude nice man 10 minutes huh that's all they give you yeah dude i mean my shift manager is pretty strict dude and uh you know people like at the teppan grill's hot, so it's got to be ready to roll. What's his stance on earphones? You cannot have them in while you're working. During setup, when I'm setting up placemats and silverware and stuff, I'll definitely put on some fat lips, some 41, or some old-school blink and be satin up.

If he tries to give me shit about that, I can say shit. Yeah. Fuck yeah. So if he tries to give me shit about that, I'll just tell him, dude, back off. This is my time. Am I getting the job done? I am.

Yeah. How's your Khaleesi? Dude, Khaleesi is killing it right now, dude. Yeah? Yeah, dude. We're going to dive into a project probably this Saturday of putting up some new curtains in the apartment. So stoked on that, dude.

Curtains? Yeah. Nice. Where do you get your curtains? Pier 1? Pier 1, we did go on there. Living Spaces is probably the most clutch. I mean, Ikea is your go-to.

You kind of go to Ikea. Dude, we have a hilarious joke. Me and her, we're like, we go to Ikea to find out what we don't want to get you know yeah and then we go from there dude for sure yeah what's the joke it's like it's like you know like why go to a place because um why go to a place where you know you're not going to get something you know but it's like i guess like the lesson right off the bat of like ikea it's what we don't want boom and then from there pier one or living spaces or house that's kind of like how we had that joke where we used to pants greg because he had the biggest dong so we were like dude how can you be mad when we pull your pants down and everyone gets

to see how big your dong is very true like i remember like you know dude i mean honestly admittedly so like i have a very um not big dong um probably like if i'm in a group of 20 guys you know i'm 19 or 18 yeah um you know there's probably one more dude below me that you know has got something going on but you're six four yeah yeah i'm a big guy so it's four with a yeah with a little dong six four with a little dong it's probably extra embarrassing you know because like yeah if you have a small frame and a small dong it's like that's a regular size if you got a big frame and a small dong it's like maybe that goes in your museum or something yeah but you've always had good luck with the ladies yeah dude i mean honestly yeah for sure i've done all right i

want to sound bragging right now um but for me my type of personality is i find something i like i stick with it so kalisi's like she's my rock she's my center dude so yeah and props to you for being so open about your like less than stellar dong like i think that's something we really admire especially in like this podcast of just being open and vulnerable and just saying like hey you know my dong's less than av but you know what i'm proud and i still get chicks for sure dude and like honestly you guys have created a safe space and you're my dog so i feel like i can say whatever in front of you guys and it's legit in my mind you have a huge dong just with your energy and presence thank you dude i remember one time uh jt and i were at the beach um playing some volleyball and some dude was like

uh couldn't believe that jt was like 5'8 what are you 5'8 yeah 5'8 he's like what dude no i thought i thought you were at least like 5'10 which just means like dude his confidence the way he, the way he plays and the way he brings it, like he's gained two inches of actual height, you know, from legitness. Dude, tell the Stokers like how Khaleesi reacts when you tell her you have a small dong. Because you'll tell your – he calls his girlfriend Khaleesi. She's like always like, no, you don't. Like don't say that. Yeah, she's like – she says that's a terrible joke. She's like, why would you say something like that? She says, no, you don't. Don't say that. Yeah, she's like, she says that's a terrible joke. She's like, why would you say something like that?

She says, honestly, the worst thing, she goes, you have a nice-sized dong. That's not nice. You know what I mean? As a guy, what do you want to hear, dude? One word, dude. Big. Beast. Beast.

Big, dude. Monster. Never seen anything like it. I got freaking Podor's dong, dude. She feels like she's got a parka on and cold weather clothes. She's about to... What do they call it?

Scale. She's about to scale Everest every time she sees that dong come out. She needs a Sherpa, dude, to tackle my dong. Give her directions. Don't go that way. You're going to get hurt over there. Dead bodies over there. You crossed that vein. You're done, coming back there's a frozen chick back there like oh six yeah my dong's called k2 no one you see he stumbles upon like dead frozen bodies on the way sometimes i feel like if you keep saying your dong's little though this is

something i worry about like it might actually get smaller oh interesting i believe that is something i worry about like it might actually get smaller oh interesting i believe that so why are you doing it though here's what i believe dude here's i believe it in a sense of the uh the mindset of it you know it's like it's like with the self-help people tell you know it's like dude repeat yourself on the man on the shit you'll believe it you know yeah we talk about that so i think it's perception perception but actual science getting smaller science getting smaller? I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. Yeah. All right. Let's dip into some news.

Fellas, did you guys see this dude who rode the biggest wave ever surfed? Yeah. This Brazilian, Rodrigo Coxa? A beast. At Nazaré, Portugal. Dude, well said. Yeah. Very nice accent.

Yeah, dude. Nazaré, I think it just kind of just popped up in recent years ever since like late 2000s but just like came on and uh just a massive wave in the atlantic which you wouldn't expect you know atlantic you're like i don't i don't think there'll be big waves but atlantic's probably the most bitch ocean out there that's what i think yeah although it did sink the titanic so you gotta get props for that oh yeah because the indian ocean's like firing and like indo yeah yeah and warm atlantic's cold and just like kind of which jay bay that's south africa which is that technically is that pacific indian i don't know which coast cortez bank is like the the biggest brick right and that's in the pacific yeah that's off that's off california right i don't know. Cortez Bank is like the biggest break, right? And that's in the Pacific.

Yeah. That's off California, right? I don't know. That's not even like a wave, right? It's just like monster swells or something like that. Yeah, it just hits like a shelf. Interesting. But Nazare, there was some like controversy about it.

They were like, oh, it just rolls. It's like a bunny hill wave. It doesn't break fully, whereas like Jaws and stuff, you'll see it like in Maui, you'll see it like break fully whereas like jaws and stuff you'll see it like in maui you'll see it like break fully and it can just fuck you up but then you know like red bull put out a video where they're like no this thing breaks you know and you see it actually and then on the same day as rodrigo this is my legends that's why i'm so knowledgeable on it love it oh dude did i dude this is my legend i man. I didn't know. We don't discuss who his legend's going to be, and I kind of jumped the gun.

It's all good. We can dive in further. The gun surfboard. I jumped it. Dude. Some dude, what's his name? Turtle's making you a gun, dude. Short reference.

I watched Endless Summer last night. Oh, you did? Who would be who? Would I be wingnut, dude? Because I'm a little older, more mature, dude. Is that too self-aware, which means I'm not wingnut. I feel would be who? Would I be wingnut, dude? Because I'm a little older, more mature, dude. Is that too self-aware? Which means I'm not wingnut. I feel like you're

Pat O'Connell, right, dude? Thanks for cutting me out, dog. Dude, no, no. Who's the other guy that's in it, dude? I don't know. There's two. Oh, dude,

then you guys are both, dude. Oh, dude, you're wingnut. No, you're in it. I'm camera one, dude. I'm camera one. I'm sure wingnut knows curtains. That's true.

Dude, wingnut knows. He's got knowledge. Yeah. Yeah, you don't even surf. I know. I suck. I mean, I longboard, dude, but. I got a Strider we've established.

You got a small dong. And I don't surf well, dude. And Strider's dad's a. Yeah, he's a doctor, dude. A derm? Yeah, he's a dermatologist, dude. He doesn't mess around. That's why I got no tats, dude. I remember, like, if i'd get a sunburn dude and i came home it was bad news

yeah i remember i was at a volleyball tournament one time yeah um i had the worst sunburn even guys on my team were like dude you've got a terrible sunburn and my dad was coming to pick me up and i just knew it was on so he was a successful guy he bought a dodge viper uh red dodge viper with the license plate hiss so super subtle super cool yeah literally showed up dude and you can't see me right now but it's because it's a podcast but a very very um disappointed mixed with sheer rage face rage plus disappointment dude my dad was the same way uh he's a doctor as well so he would just like lather me up with like neutrogena which is like way too thick it scarred me and it's one of those things where he puts so much sunscreen on my skin as a kid i'm like i'm never wearing this shit again although i do wear it now but like there's a good 10 years with it he's like are you wearing sunscreen i'm like no

dad and he's fucking rebellion phase yeah dude my dad used to make me wear a t-shirt like we'd go on like my entire family i've got siblings dude four of them dude yeah what up and uh we would go on the jacuzzi and just sit with our shirts on in the jacuzzi like the only people we go to like a hotel pool and people are like what are these idiots all doing like full hats sunglasses just looking like like we're about to go to like a track meet and just sitting in a jacuzzi you judge the fuck out of those people too like when we used to go to like wild rivers and shit like that you'd always see the kid in the shirt and you'd just be like all right he's got bitch tits like he's obviously breaking out on his back like he's hiding you're hiding

something correct yeah correct there's there's shame in his game yes dude and have you ever been to a water park like wild rivers or Raging Waters? And not pissed in the water? No. Every time I have. Every time. I'm like, every ride, basically. Every time I touch the water, I start peeing. Like a dog dominating. Wait, what were you going to say?

And not gotten sunburned. No matter how much sunburn you put on, you are getting sunburned at that park, dude. And another thing, you're getting the ice cream revolution thing what is it and dots yeah dog yes dude why why at all theme parks is it like they serve regular ice cream in the world yeah how come when you go to a theme park some guy was like people want the dots yeah i think when they get to these gates they're getting the dots i think the guy who owned dip and dots his brother like owned theme parks and they were like dude if we like collude on this we could like corner the market exactly you don't see them anywhere else anywhere guys serial killers are we into them

like are you fascinated by serial killers i i'm nostalgic for like the um the fear you know um but yeah dude i mean i don't know I'm not into I never really feared it because like it'd be almost like cocky of me to think that like a serial killer wants to kill like my like straight white like you know dude that with a regular like a sister that plays tennis you know why would you kill me I love how low your self-esteem is you don't even think you're worthy of being killed with a little dick dude just can't surf good this fucking guy the serial killer kicks you out of the van because you're being so depressed why would you even want me dude i'm such a bitch dude i have such a little dick you could kill someone so much sicker than me dude if you want to go get chad he's got fucking

he's bronze dude serves well what if on the news like apparently the serial killer just kills regular dudes yeah yeah you're regular, like, seriously. You haven't done anything interesting. That's a great, like, motivational campaign for a modern man. It's like, his target's just been, like, regular dudes who just, like, there's nothing really special about them. They're just, like, all pretty regular. Squares. The square killer.

The square killer. He's just, a lot of them play tennis and, like, have, like, a sister. Like, the most regular state. Yeah. The Montana Square Killer. An insurance salesman was killed today. He's trying to torture him. He's like, what's your greatest fear?

The guy's like, I guess just losing my job and not really having that financial security and then having a couple dependents who I'm not able to take care of. He's like, all right, cool. I'm really in this guy's head yeah what's your deepest regret not investing earlier honestly time was on my side and i didn't capitalize you know like signs of the lands were like in the hole you know what like all the victims were wearing like dockers and stuff iron the dockers he catches his victims outside of banana republic in the gap it irons the khakis he's like dude i know you're gonna kill me but if you could just let me out for a little bit so i can do the dishes before my honey gets home like i you know i get it you have your own needs and

i'm here to help you too but i have other people i need to be responsible for thanks dude i'm gonna have to cancel my golf lesson i'm gonna fire off a few emails and then yeah cut my skin off yeah go for it i've thought i've thought about that scenario for myself but i've never been like i can relate to them i just be like dude why right right right appeal to their humanity i get yeah i always have the the notion in my head that i could like if i get enough rage i can fight anyone which is totally off but i'm just like yeah if someone gets threatened i'll just beat their ass even though i've never really been in a fight well i definitely i know what you mean though like there is i have friends who have like

never been in a fight who are like but dude if i got mad i'm like yeah if you got mad you'd finally learn what a pussy you are i'm learning that too i'm just like what makes me think i can fight anyone do 100 and but you don't want to think you can't. You know what I mean? There's a healthy... I definitely don't think I could. I'm a piece of shit. I get my ass beat.

Doubling down on my... Strider does the funniest thing. Not anymore, but when we were younger, if an angry dude tried to attack Strider, Strider would just drop to the ground and go, I submit. And then the guy would be like, fetal position dude would be like i'm done you'll get no joy or like when dudes are like dude let's play football fucking tackle dude i'm like no i'm not gonna

get tackled so you can feel like a man for two seconds dude like we're both gonna go get like take out dinner later like fuck you dude i'm going to hurt my elbow so you can feel good. You had the best response too. I remember John, like trying to like manhandle you. And you're like, you just dropped to the ground. You're like, I'm done. And then I was like, man, don't you feel like a bitch? You're like, dude, I controlled the outcome.

Alpha, dude. That's beta alpha-ing. When I was a pledge, they would like, someone would be like, let's fuck up Chad. And I'd just be like, are you serious? And they'd be like, I guess not. Dude, there's some people who like aren't fun to torture. You're like, Chad's too cool. Yeah.

Let's leave him alone. It's all about the reaction. That's why it's fun to like tease your girlfriend or whatever. Like, you know, do like an immature joke, like burp or whatever. And they're like, oh, it's all about the punchline is the reaction. Yeah. Yeah. I find I'll say more inflammatory stuff that I don't really believe in just because I know my girlfriend's stance is so counter to what I'm saying.

Yes. And I'm just like, it's like in the movie Congo. Yeah, great movie. When they have the laser perimeter and the gorillas are like running into it to see where the weak points are. Like you're just testing the perimeter to see where like you can get in there at. Dude, I absolutely 100% love using Congo as a relationship analogy. Dude, a movie about killer gorillas, dude.

Killer gorillas, dude. Amy, love you. Amy, love you. Yeah, there's a gorilla that has like a voice box so it can talk like a human. Yeah. So it's shunned by other gorillas because it sounds like...

It's the best, dude. And all like the evil gorillas are like this weird albino-looking type of gorilla. Yeah, very creepy-looking. I got you. I got that flick. Oh, dude, it's great. Next time, let me tell you, VR goes well.

Come back to my place, watch a movie. You just flip on Congo. You're having a good night. If I get a Khaleesi, I could bring her to meet Khaleesi. Bro, do you guys realize... If you get a Khaleesi, you've got like 30 Khaleesi dogs. It's going gonna be too different dude yeah you're like uh you're john snow dude like i mean there's a calise out there for you

but she's gonna be of high quality and then we all triple date dude yeah do you know how much i'd love that dude stop trying to bring us to your side of the world all i want you guys to do is come over dude i'll give you a dude i'll give you a stud finder how to put up curtains dude you can't put them up anywhere, bros. I never thought I'd say this, but hearing you talk about that made me want to dive into a project with a GF. Oh, my gosh. Strider podcast over Baleskis, dude. Dude, I love it, dude.

Come over to the light side, bro. Come on over, dude. Dude, I drink micro-brews, bro. Disgusting. Feels nice, dude. Disgusting. Dude, I kick my feet up my girlfriend and i we bond over dude how was work today dude it's whatever dude what did chris say you know is he coming around

great dude all those details were bad but you guys get it dude all right what about uh what do you guys think about i i read the tiger woods biography what do you guys think about like child prodigies there's like this yodeling kid now too who's yeah dude this yodeling kid have you guys seen him i finally watched this briefly his song so he he got famous for yodeling in walmart and then they made a song with them and the song is um yeah it's cool to be the center of attention but if i'm going to be famous i want to be famous for loving you girl and like when people come up to me i want them to say like oh how's your wife how's your family not ask me about my career. Like those are the lyrics of the song,

but he's like 10 years old. Interesting. What I'm saying is I don't think he wrote that song. I think Strider fucking wrote that. I connected to those lyrics. You sang it right there. I was like, dude,

let's go talk. Let's turn the mics off. Let's go dive into it, dude. You know? Um, yeah, no authenticity from that kid anywhere they're

just like look we have something that's just some businessman like eating a salad being like what's this yodeling kid doing well let's go to our repertoire of songwriters let's put them together we've got a hit you know that's the jimmy ivine like uh i find 10 year olds in supermarkets all over the country and i make them big. I turn them into stars. It's a nightmare. That guy sounds creepy. Yeah, I find 10-year-olds... We've been ripping so much. I don't think we have much more time for news,

but I just want to get your guys' State of the Union on Marvel movies. I'm going to say anti. Anti. Do you still see him? Not really, no. I just... How can I relate to that?

Yeah, exactly. I don't have a big-ass hammer. 100%. I'd rather watch Midnight in Paris with Owen Wilson. That's a good movie. Not bad. We saw that in theaters together. Remember when the guy who played...

Was it Hemingway? Or it was... Yeah. Dali. Oh, Dali was great. And To Lose the Trek was legit, too. Yeah. But, dude... dude dude we're just

name dropping guys who's the last one you said Toulouse the Trek dude the little he's like a tiny little Parisian artist

I'm blanking on his piece but he's did I think he's like he's actually responsible for the Starbucks symbol like it's based on a sketch of his interesting

yeah dang what were you saying a second ago dude midnight in paris what's your the hemingway character oh the hemingway character played it cory stole oh yeah you're always like the deep well of knowledge i got the names on movies yeah every book report i ever did all throughout education was always on of mice and men by John Steinbeck. Yeah. No matter what grade,

like I never read it once either. Are we going to get to pet the rabbits, George? Yeah. Georgie, the rabbits charge, George, the rabbits.

Dude, it's so, it's a great story. I've only seen the movie that Gary Sinise did, which was really good. John Malkovich. But it's like, you're a,

you're, you're a regular guy who's got ability. If you relate to the George character, which you know, most people probably do. And then you have to take care of a dumb guy. He's got ability if you relate to the george character which you know most people probably do and then you have to take care of a dumb guy who's got a great heart and then by the end of it spoiler alert you have to kill the dumb guy because he's too dumb for the world like he's he's so dumb he's dangerous i think we've all had bros like that 100 dude dude to be totally candid we kind of I hate to say it

But we had a friend like that Who passed away Yeah We did Alright End of podcast Yeah I don't know how deep

They want to dive in Alright let's get into it Who's your babe of the week Chad? My babe of the week So this one's special I received an email From this girl named Sam Who's a fan,

and her best friend Ashley. They're both fans, avid listeners of the pod. Ashley was involved in a pretty bad car accident. I guess she was a head-on car crash going 70 miles per hour caused by a reckless driver that fled the scene. Coward. And she had to be cut out of her car, was life flighted to the hospital. She survived and she's in recovery.

She's going to have to relearn how to walk. But Sam maintains that her stoke is still through the roof. I just want to make Ashley Babe of the Week. Ashley, thank you so much for being a listener to the pod and we're pulling for you in your recovery. This pod is thinking about you and we wish you the best in your recovery and we're stoked that you are doing well. Yeah.

And Ashley reach out to us individually on social media if you want to. And yeah, we'd love to be with you every step of the way on your journey to recovery on your journey through recovery. And yeah, stokers let's all have her in our thoughts and prayers and let's just be a part of this as a collective. Yeah, Ashley, babe of the week.

You're a good friend, Sam. Stay stoked. Yeah, please. Who's your babe? My babe of the week is Frances McDormand, the actress who this year, she's having a career achievement. She won Best Actress for three billboards outside of Billings, Montana. the actress who this year you know she's having a a career achievement you know she uh won best

actress for uh three billboards outside of billings montana and uh but i've been a fan of francis mcdormand from the jump like i think uh you know i've bashed the coen brothers on the first episode but they are gifted filmmakers and she was uh in their first movie blood simple and she was tremendous and then from there it's just been like hit after hit after hit after hit like she's in fargo she's so fucking good she won best actress for that too right she should have yeah great so she's got two and then um i loved her in almost famous as the mom like so relatable she always has so much personality and spunk and all of her parts even when she has a small part like in uh something's gotta give where she's just uh playing the sister to diane keaton like she brings so much personality and point of view to what she's doing and then um she's in the movie laurel canyon where she's like a hippie music producer

and her son's kind of like a straight edge like a doctor type and she has to like seduce her son's girlfriend who's played by kate beckinsale um who's also a babe of the week and um and yeah she's just like whether she's playing like an uptight mom or a sexy music producer it all seems totally organic to her and i'm just like blown away by her acting abilities and she's married to one of the coen brothers so you know she likes a smart dude and i think that's chill and um yeah francis i know you're just to keep being an awesome movies. And I know you're a lot of people's babe of the week, but this week you're my babe of the week.

Love it, dude. That's moving. Did you, did you watch, did you watch the movie recently or like rewatch one of them? No, dude, I was just like, I was thinking like whenever it's like babe of the week time, you know, I try to really think like, who's like a woman that like I, or a dude, sometimes I do a dude who's like a person that like i or a dude sometimes i do a dude who's like a person that like i've admired aesthetically but i've also like always appreciated beyond that and um you know it's not i mean sometimes my baby of the week can honestly just be like a super hot

chick from instagram it could be that every week if i was being more honest because like a lot of times the babe i'm paying the most attention to is just a chick with like a really nice can and a good diet plan for and a lot of positivity on instagram 100 you know doing workouts with like good backgrounds yeah a fire rig all around yeah exactly and i and you know what next week i should do one of those just to be more well-rounded and more genuine about my interest because yeah yeah but amen for sure but the thing about francis is like she's still pretty and like jesus i'm sorry francis it's not about that but you know back in the day she was smoky smoke smoke show yeah and but she's a fire actress and there is the thing where if

you're like really really good at what you do and you have status because of what you do that's also attractive oh 100 that's the rock star effect dude yeah you know what i mean you guys are so supportive of like mick jagger mick jagger not a hot dude he's got nice lips he dances kind of like a chicken androgynous so that was a big part of it true true but guess what dude he was doing him you know what i mean dude have you seen john mulaney's bit on him no and the new one it's so funny oh where he's like no no not funny yeah yeah i did see that yeah no yeah and then he's like looking for a word that rhymes or something yeah he's like can he's like no he's like ban he's like yeah no he's like ban yeah apparently he just goes diet coke it just appears in his hand right i mean he's been a legend for like 50 years yeah what a weird existence awesome existence

who's the most unhot person that's it's like always interesting like adrian brody yeah but he's got interesting features but like he's hot because like he was him i mean drake like i think if drake wasn't drake it'd be like he'd be a dude like you could see him working at best buy and just being like not that there's not like you could see him working at best buy and just being like not that there's not like you know hot guys who have charisma everywhere but yeah i like to consider me at benihana as a relatively hot dude laying down some some you know when we visited you you definitely stood out thank you dude i appreciate that dude yeah thank you all right um do you have a babe of the week off the top dude honestly dude, my baby of the week is probably my girlfriend.

Actually, 100% got to be for a few reasons, mainly because she's like my rock, makes me a better person, makes me who I am. And, dude, she recently directed a play, and it was really good, dude, Women Laughing Alone with Salad. And, yeah, dude, she killed it at that, like artistically. And, dude, she looked fire in all of her outfits that she wore and uh yeah dude when she does good stuff and dude forgive me for saying this but um kind of gets me a little bit horny dude when she's like being herself you know so she's my babe of the week dude that's touching yeah good stuff man um who's your uh legend of the week my legend uh we we touched on it briefly rodrigo coxa is that that how you say it? I think so, yeah. I mean, you nailed the fucking beach that they were ripping at. Nazaray.

Yeah, if you Stokers haven't seen it, check it out. It went viral last weekend. This dude just charged an 80-foot wave, and I think he paddled it, too. I think that's something I should note, too. Whoa, he paddled it? I think, yeah. Yeah, so Rodrigoo you're you're a legend dude a beast and um props to you you know big wave surfers never really i think the biggest one i've ridden is probably 15 feet never really had any interest to go beyond that but uh i mean just the balls it takes to paddle into those waves

because i got like i surfed this weekend. I got held down for like five seconds. But, I mean, it feels like 20. That's a lifetime, dude. Yeah. I also think you're being like casual about 15 feet. But for people who have been in the water and like experienced even what a four-foot strong wave can feel like, like, dude, that's double overhead.

That is terrifying yeah is it steamer lane santa cruz that'll fucking that kills people yeah and it just will it it's steamer lane too because you'll see them coming out from like so far and you're like and you just like um all right i guess i'll start paddling towards that but uh but yeah i mean just the balls it takes and to be able to like you know um get caught in a wave and then just yeah so much respect for big wave surfers and just you know he really uh you saw in the way that you see the video the lip almost gets him but he just like shoots out past it does he make it he makes it yeah okay um so yeah dude props to you for being

a legend being a big wave surfer and charging Nazare. All right. I got two legends of the week. It's one of them spontaneous. When I was listening to that about Rodrigo Cox, I was like, oh man, is he going to get like, he's probably going to get a lot of attention and get laid because of this like monster success,

which is like kind of where my head goes sometimes. I'm like, oh, you've achieved all these things. Now you get like the fruits of success. So that brings me to my legend who is banksy now uh i think banksy is like a really great artist because it's aesthetically pleasing what he does it challenges and subverts like norms and authority which i think is a big part of art and then what i think is the most artistic is he doesn't get credit for what he's doing yeah like i think all the time i'm like is banksy getting laid off all this wild stuff that he's i mean he's going to like the gaza strip where there's like you know tons of turmoil and probably the threat of violence and he's painting like

beautiful murals that say like walk through this part it's invisible here which is such a playful thing to do it's such a it's it's a juxtaposition of the playfulness with the imminent danger that makes it so striking but then the biggest thing for me is that like it's a secretxtaposition of the playfulness with the imminent danger that makes it so striking. But then the biggest thing for me is that it's a secret. He's not getting homies out of it. He's not getting laid out of it. And then my other legend of the week is going to correlate to my beef of the week. But my other legend of the week is from – it's multiple people.

It's from the first Spider-Man movie with Tobey Maguire. The Green Goblin played by Willem Dafoe is about to kill Tobey Maguire. And he goes, listen to me, Spider-Manman this town loves nothing more than to turn on someone and you're going down and spider-man is like holding a bus full of children and mary jane is love and it's like he's just maxed out like he can't hold it any longer and then the green goblin's gonna fly at him and kill him and he can't drop those things and escape or those people will die and then right before he gets there a fucking like brick hits him in the head and he flies out. And then it cuts to the Brooklyn Bridge or whichever one it is. And there's a bunch of fucking New Yorkers.

And one of them goes, hey, why are you trying to fuck with Spider-Man? He's just trying to save a bunch of kids. And then another New Yorker chucks something out. He goes, hey, you mess with one of us? He goes, this is New York. You mess with one of us? You mess with all of us. And I got so jacked up because I was like, dude, that's the Green Goblin.

Like, he will smash all of you. But they don't give a fuck, dude. They see someone doing right. They come to that person's aid. They back their play. And they put it all on the line trying to help people. And I love that. New York.

That's New York. I love it. That's America. That's this podcast. That's what we're all aiming for. Dude, I remember I saw that in theaters. And I was like, is that what New York is like? Right?

Yeah. It gets you pumped, right? Maybe we'll go get a pizza and just like, yeah. The way that guy said, you mess with one of us, you mess with all of us. And it's people of every race, creed, nationality, gender, whatever. Was that pre 9-11 or after 9-11? I think it was right after 9-11. I think they made it before 9-11, but I think it came out after 9-11.

And so that was like yeah it totally was part of that like play yeah even when you know you try to bring us to our knees like we're gonna stand together yeah all right who's your beef of the week my beef of the week um is uh this group of spaniards in barcelona um so a few years back i was in barcelona with my boy will backpacking through soaking up the culture partying understanding the european lifestyle holding it down hostile life clubs uh tapas all that shit and uh it was it was fire and then one night we were in barcelona we were going to my favorite bar um la cucararacha, which is Spanish for the cucaracha. And ripping shots, having a good time.

They served one of my favorite shots, the Chupamalos Huevos, which is a Spanish delicacy. I think it's like a shitload of booze and 7-Up. And it was delicious. and um it was delicious and so you know we were uh we were there probably till about 2 a.m just you know trying to explore free love with spaniard ladies we didn't uh we weren't successful we went to go get a gyro or a hero i don't know how you pronounce it i've never known yeah i'm gonna call it gyro because i like that better we went to to get a gyro at the restaurant. We were walking down this alleyway. All of a sudden, I hear this, maricón, maricón, which is a homophobic slur in Spanish. And we turn around, and there's this group of probably 12, probably 17-year-old Spaniard dudes in white jeans and just just like charging towards like maricones maricones

and we're like what dude and they just like come up to us and we just like keep walking we're like all right whatever and then all of a sudden we're like walking i'm like can't wait for this gyro dude all of a sudden i hear this maricone and i see like a flying like this pair of white jeans just flying at me in the form of a flying kick whoa yeah and this guy kicks me he got me like in the chest kicks me to the ground luckily my boy will who's just a tank he's like six two burly guy he just he's like what just starts like throwing fists and just like i was like on the ground i was like getting back up i'm like whoa dude this is like the first fight i've been i was kind of stoked you know yeah and then he just like starts like punching all of them and it lasted like 30 seconds then they bounce and they're just like

maricon maricon and then just like bounce and i'm like yeah so my beef is with you guys spaniards yeah uh you know you guys tried to ruin our night you tried to stop us from getting gyros but you know what that piqued my adrenaline that conflict and it made me enjoy the gyro that much more so you tried and you failed my friends i want to give a shout to my boy will for holding it down fighting i would have fought more but i was on the ground then it was over so um that's my beef and that's the only i'm gonna use quotations fight i've been in because I wouldn't really call it that. But, dude, if someone chest kicks you, I'd say you need the criterium for a fight. Dude, I was, like, amazed. I was like, whoa, you just did a flying kick?

Like, it's a bold move. Yeah, to start the fight like this is Sparta and Bucha. But the thing is, like, it didn't hurt that much. I think he lost a lot of momentum. So by the time he got to me, it was just kind of like a tap. And I think I was just like, whoa, I just fell down. What makes you say they were 17 and not 18? Probably the white jeans.

Yeah, probably the white jeans. You've decided, I'm not wearing white jeans anymore, dude. You're an adult. You've got to be a kid to be wearing white jeans. Or like, I don't know, have a yacht. Yeah. Yeah, it was wearing white jeans anymore, dude. You're an adult. You've got to be a kid to be wearing white jeans. Or like, I don't know, have a yacht. Yeah. Yeah, it was the white jeans. They were looking for a fight.

Will gave it to them. Yeah, dude. All right, my beef of the week. This is what's got me high intensity, my dogs. So as you guys know, I have a lady. We're deep in love. But so last week we talked about this guy who, um, I was fond of, and then Chad has long said as a dweeb. And, um, I saw him with a

girl. I saw him acting like hyper-confident and like full of endorphins. And then I saw him making out with her, but then dude, out of nowhere, totally unexpected. This guy runs into my girlfriend out in the world. And the first thing he says to her is some bullshit about me. He basically just tried to sandbag me about my sex addiction and like, bring it up to my girlfriend. And like, she told me about it immediately. And I just like, I don't even know what to do about this. I am so fucking mad. I don't want to be all hot and testosterone but there's just some lines you don't cross and when you do it needs to get rectified for sure because he went through a

skeething snake play dude first of all sniveling he's a prop to your girlfriend total weasel dude fucking weasel total weasel fuck him uh he's thinking about no one but himself in that scenario he's not thinking about sandbagging you he's not thinking about how your girlfriend's gonna react to that or like how she's gonna take that like he's just like oh here's a plant like dude i don't even know why i mean i do know but there's a you know a few different theories but like why would you even say that to somebody dude in the slap it's got to be look you've got to over correct the problem now it's going to be a very small slap it's just going to be a sign of disrespect yeah like i'm just gonna let my hand slowly run across

his face he's clearly very insecure dude okay and then here's the other thing just to give you some context i don't even know this dude that well but like a year ago he told me he'd broken up with his girlfriend he's like oh don't sleep with my girlfriend i'm like i don't even know your girlfriend i was like i don't even you've never met her once in your life never met her and then he told my girlfriend after the thing, after bringing up my sex addiction, she's like, yeah, he's got a big libido. Like, what?

Yeah. Thank you. But like, what? Why are you even talking about... Have you ever talked about any of your bros? And I would gladly do it because I respect you twos. But like, I've never been like, oh yeah, JT, dude. Guy's got great sexual energy. Or have you met my friend Chad, dude?

To someone's girlfriend. Yeah. No, you would never say that to somebody. to someone's girlfriend yeah no you would never say that to somebody like someone's girlfriend too and it sucks because i really like this dude i really respected him and now it's for life done yeah with him and him and his bullshit i have so much empathy i'm so quirky isn't that hilarious fuck you dude yeah that's it right through it fuck you that's the other thing too is like right through it. Fuck you. That's the other thing, too, is, like, dudes will, like, all people do this, but you present yourself as a certain kind of person, you know what I mean?

And then you do something like that, you just reveal your character. Like, whatever my issues are, I don't do shit like that. Like, I'll come up to you straight up, but I'm not going to sandbag you behind your back to people you love. Like, that is just beyond reprehensible. I just don't see, like, what possible rationalization there could be for doing something like that. No. Yeah.

It's sandbag. It's a really whack move. That's my beef of the week. 100%. 100%. You know what, dude? Sometimes they say, dude, when someone does like that to you, it restores your faith in the almighty. Because guess what, dude?

God's going to forgive you. So I don't have to, dude. Yes. Hey, Chad and I have to hit the restroom, so Strider's going to just talk to the Stokers a little bit about his state of mind and condition. What up, Stokers? Well, Chad and JT, go take leaks. Just want to let you guys know, dude, keep living that positive life, dude. you guys know um do keep living that positive life dude um keep obviously dude i think a reason that the bros do you know who they got beef with is to just uh get it out there dude don't harbor resentment dude you know that's gonna lead to passive aggressiveness dude and don't do any

sandbag um douchebaggery or snake moves or weasel activities dude just be yourself you've got a problem with somebody you know confront them in a mature manner, you know, just say, Hey, let's sit down. Let's talk about it, dude. You know, don't try to go behind anyone's back, dude. I'll never do something like that. Like a little punk bitch. Um, you know, dude, you got any babes in your life, dude? Like, like JT was saying earlier, dude, babe isn't all looks, you know, even though we do respect solid bonafide rigs, you know know like that's for sure what's up dude like that's like how reproduction goes down you know but like how do you sustain that dude you gotta have someone who's got a great personality dude who agrees with what you agree with you know

and disagrees with it you disagree with dude like uh and likes playing virtual reality games you know or whatever that means to you dude maybe maybe virtual reality games to you is reading a book, dude, or like, I don't know, Renaissance fairs or whatever, which sound like dank activities, but like, those aren't jumping off the page for me, like, for me and my GF, dude, like, honestly, what we both love to do is I'm getting into cooking, dude, like, like I was saying, I've taken a few secret classes, sur la table, dude. Learned how to make souffles and some fondue dip, dude. Really trying to learn how to entertain. I want to have my bros over and hopefully their future babes and for them to look at me and be like, yo, Strider, dude, this is a dank fondue that you made, dude. What is this? And I'll be like,

it's a milieu of different cheeses from the European region, dude. Just watch them dip and enjoy the, I guess in this case, not the fruits, but the dairy of my labor. Yeah, dude, so I'm just pumped up for that. So yeah, dude, just keep fucking posting up, being legit, kicking it with your bros, respecting people, and not sandbagging like punk bitches, dude. Looks like JT and Chad have both drained their lizard and stepping back into the studio, dude, ready to cut it up and flush it out, dude. And, uh, looks like, um, JT and Chad have both drained their lizard and stepping back into the studio, dude, ready to cut it up and flush it out, dude. What up, dudes? All right, let's get into some questions. Oh, should we do an ad first?

Oh, yeah, yeah. Um, okay, Stokers, as always, uh, this podcast is brought to you by Douglas Lubricant, and I have some copy here. Hey, Stokers. Chad here with another message from our sponsor, Douglas Lubricant. Boning is something we all crave. Whether you're at work, the gym, the club, or Thanksgiving dinner, we all think about boning a lot. So when the magical act happens, you want to make sure you give your best effort because the only thing worse than a flat spell is lackluster boning. That's where we come into play. Douglas Lubricant not only provides smooth boning, but with our new sensation tingle technology, you and your partner will add

a whole new level of sensation to the boning experience. So next time you hit the sack, choose Douglas. Thank you, Douglas Lubricant. And as always, we're also brought to you by my buddy Danny at UCI Baseball. If you're good at baseball, go to UCI. They should call it UC, instead of UC Irvine, they should call it UC Newport Beach because it's right there. Dude, it's a dank school. For sure. For sure.

You can play baseball by the coast. Think about it, dude. When you're with your boys and it's a little flat outside in the water and you can't shred, what are doing dude besides volleyball playing wiffle ball it's just baseball on the sand all right let's get into the questions yo what up crow keistador what up parmageddon this is kevin again i don't have any other way to say this i am majorly pissed off right now bro first that broad question

my epic bet with my legendary bro paul then that weird san diego stalker questioned my downhill race against the preps and cincy i have to say i haven't been this upset since the time i prematurely nutted in my sweatshirts while making out with the most popular chick in school jen hewitt anyway since you brohams are two and two on giving me amped advice i'm gonna hit the wave once again i'm in another shredder bind where i need your almighty advice the school year is coming to an end so i decided to call in sick with my new mega babe joan and my bro sam we borrowed sam's dad's porsche and wrote about town hit up a baseball game and i even karaoke'd in front of mad peeps downtown dude that sounds like a killer fucking day sure the problem is my lame sis is on to me

should i come clean or continue raging? Kevin. Continue raging, dude. Yeah, I think it's up to your sister to come around to your way of life, not the opposite. Yeah. Yeah, dude, I didn't even, like, consider your sister as a part of the story, dude. Like, I thought the question was going to be, like, you know, between you, like, your new babe and Jen, who you made out with, and, like, nutted in your shorts.

Also, I'd say, dude, focus on the positive. You were making out with a hot chick. Yeah, yeah. And you nutted, dude new babe in Jen who you made out with and, like, nutted in your shorts. Also, I'd say, dude, focus on the positive. You were making out with a hot chick. Yeah, yeah. And you nutted, dude. Yeah, for sure. Like, your sister, I suspect her just being pissed is going to, that's already making her day terrible. I suspect she's having a shitty day. So, I don't know, dude.

Don't give in to her bowl, dude. Just keep raging. Do you. And, dude, yeah. I mean, I think you're living life right like life goes by fast and i think when you look back you're gonna have some pretty epic memories to recall so yeah keep doing what you're doing and you know i just hope that your sister can stop being jealous of your good time and start maybe trying to have her own good time

yeah indeed as a bro who has a sister i'll tell you this sisters like to party too dude and um you know spread the love like i don't know how chill she is my sister's pretty chill you know she'll crush a a blue moon dude maybe you invite her to the party i don't know bro like let her roll with see how she reacts yeah and check the mileage on the porsche to make sure your bro's dad doesn't get too pissed about that good call yeah hey chad and jt first off i'm a huge fan of the podcast thank you dude y'all are awesome i've never met him but i'm sure paul would be very proud of y'all dude thank you for that keep up the good work i was wondering if i could get some advice or possible words of wisdom i am working and living in china this summer and i don't speak

the language this job is an english company i am stoked for this adventure but i am also pretty nervous do you have any idea do you have any advice on how to make this a memorable adventure riley dude serendipitous as fuck our dog strider did this exactly yeah dude i spent uh three months in china teaching teaching english dude uh but i was in guiyang china the guizhou province dude and i'll tell you right now bro um have a good like if there's anything in life dude have a good crew i got chad and jt dude when you're in that other country find your crew and go experience stuff together dude like while you're out there be like yo if you're even hesitating about going to the great wall go to it dude spend a little extra dough

and go have a nice time steer clear of the street food no matter what, dude. I was in the bed for three days after having some street pudding. You got a sensitive stomach, though. I do. I do have a sensitive stomach. That's true. JT probably could have housed it and been fine, dude.

Chad's a cultured guy, dude. He probably would have been fine, too. I'm a little bitch when it comes to that, dude. But yeah, dude, have fun, dude. Teach your classes, dude. They're going to love you when you when you get out there you're gonna be a rock star just for having like dude if you have blonde hair dude consider yourself blessed if not maybe maybe bleach those tips dude because um they're gonna freaking love that out there bro i don't think he's teaching oh what's he doing just going out there he's working dude but he's working teaching

english right no matter what dude just go experience new stuff, dude. I remember when you were out there, and we don't want this to happen to him, but you were bumming pretty hard, right? I was, dude. And I was bumming hard because I was lonely, dude. This was a time in my life I had no GF, dude. I was away from my crew, my bros, and I wanted to come home. And I think really what would have done it for me is if I was a little more adventurous

and said, look, this is not the A squad crew, but this is a B squad crew and let's go out there and have some fun. How much weight did you lose? Dude, I lost a lot of weight. I lost like probably close to 18 pounds and I'm pretty lanky as it is. So I'm like 6'4", buck 80.

I came back like 6'4", like 160, dude. I looked gaunt, dude. If anyone ever describes you as gaunt, it's not good, dude. So just tell,4", like 160, dude. I looked gaunt, dude. If anyone ever describes you as gaunt, it's not good, dude. So just tell them, I would beef up, dude. Going into it, dude, definitely get yourself some protein shakes, get yourself some Metrex, crush some green drink, load up on the protein because you can't trust it out there, and hit the kettlebells like JT does and just freaking, yeah,

mad reps until the day you leave, dude. Beef up. What about the butt massage? Dude, steer clear of every single bathhouse you go to. I went to a Chinese bathhouse. I thought I was getting myself into a massage. Turns out I got scrubbed down by this like coarse ass thing that like you could clean like a grill with, dude. They fucking scraped my skin off my skin off dude they fucking scrape my chode they scrape my balls they scrape the base of my dick dude it fucking hurt bad dude i was red um i came outside dude it was like nine in the morning bro i thought it was gonna be like

midnight i thought it was gonna be raining dude i had to like just like fucking be alert and go through the day feeling the shame of getting my butthole chode taint base my cock rubbed by some dude and like a fucking yaoming jersey dude so i'd say steer clear of that bro do not go into the bathhouse um definitely not dude great wall over the bathhouse chad and jt what up i have a situation that i'm sure you bros can assist with a romantic interest of mine recently moved to san diego from the east coast her and i had a long-standing on and off relationship but never took it to the next level due to various unrelated instances. I attended her father's wedding.

Her family loves me. She attended my cousin's wedding. My family loves her. She's a true beauty inside and out. And I believe she is the Melania to my Chad. She broke things off when she moved to California and it dropped my stoke meter swiftly to empty, but there is hope recently. My work has been looking to open an office in SoCal, but has had no volunteers.

Should I take the leap and chase this woman across the country in poetic fashion? Or do I let the call the cards fall where they may keep up the good work. Gentlemen, you are both legends Brody. What I think makes it most enticing is she's in Southern California. So to me, it's like go.

Cause even if it doesn't work out, you're in the best place to live in the world. Yeah, for sure. Definitely go. What are you waiting for, dude? Yeah. And the, and the details that you're giving us here as to live in the world yeah for sure definitely go what are you waiting for dude yeah and the details that you're giving us here as to why you care so much for her are substantial yeah like these aren't frivolous things your guys's families like each other you've

taken each other to special events together so i don't know it's worth the shot man you know the answer dude do it exactly pack those bags playboyboy. What up, Chad and JT? My name is Adam, and something bizarre has entered my mind. I think it would be a great conversation topic for you guys. After you poop, do you look at your poop before you flush it, or should great artists never look at their work? Thanks a lot. Love the podcast.

Fire question. I always look at it to measure my health. 100%. When you wipe your girlfriend's butt, do you check? Always, dude. Always. Dude, dude. Oh, dude.

That slipped by me, dude. Wipe my GF's butt, dude. I mean, look, dude. I got zinged by JT right there. I'll admit it. You know, maybe like, dude, sometimes I'll joke with my GF like, am I your bitch? And the thing about that joke is like it's more of like a dead serious question um because she decides a lot of stuff for me and now in my life um but uh dude i don't wipe her butt what up council first off let me say thank you for all the laughs you've given to myself and

the rest of my squad and for the great advice you offer each week you're a big part of keeping my stoke high through the good times and the bad and i always look forward to your next step thanks dude i'm a senior in high school and i've stumbled into a strange situation i've started to hang out with this girl a lot more and i'm starting to see her as more than a friend she's a total dime crazy smart and she hangs well with the boys the problem is she's dating one of my best friends i don't want them to break up and i know she only sees me as a close friend but other than trying to get over it, what advice can you offer to a bro

just trying to maintain stoke during a tough time? It's a difficult position, but that's why I came to you guys I trust the most. Gotta remain anonymous because the crew are all loyal listeners to the pod. Thanks, bros. That's a tough sitch. That's tough.

I mean, he's handling it, it seems like, as best he can. And dude, I've been in that situation. I had a crush onch that's tough i mean he's handling it it seems like as best he can and dude i've been in that situation yeah i had a crush on a on a friend's girlfriend and uh you know what the thing was i felt better about myself when i was supportive of them yeah you have to live with your sins that's the tough part is that the ends don't, this is from the movie The Corrupter. He says the ends justify the means

and his dad goes, fuck that. The means are what you live with. And I think, I think you're doing the right thing, man. I think you're just

going to have to soldier through. Yeah, I agree. Power through. And it sounds cliche, dude, but look, you're a young guy, dude.

You're in high school. You're a senior in high school. It's a legit time. Have fun, dude. Try to make out with as many chicks as you can, dude. I mean, don't even like, look, you love this girl. You got powerful feelings, dude. Sounds like you're an emotional guy.

That's good. Keep that up. That's legit. But, dude, you got college ahead of you. You got your whole life ahead of you. Probably going to meet some freaking smoke show in college, dude. Yeah. Not to say that the girl that you're digging now is going to be less than her, but, dude,

just keep your eyes open, bro. Keep your head up. Support your bros. And you're going to get a nice chick with a nice rig down the road, dude. For sure. Well said, dude. I've always felt that the best way to – there's so many fish in the sea. You just keep plowing through and enjoying your life, and you'll keep meeting more and more.

You don't want to get caught up in that one because you're like – Then you meet a new one, and you're like, like wow i wasted like six months transfixed on you know my best friend's gf what the fuck was i doing yeah i should have taken a rip from a helix beer bong with my boys and just you know we looked out for the next fish so dank dude i'm currently a senior in high school and about to go off to college i'm'm super stoked about it, but also sad because my best friend, who actually introduced me to you guys, and I will be going our separate ways, her to India and me to North Carolina, Indiana, and me to North Carolina. Do you have any advice on ways to maintain our close bond and tight friendship

over the next four years? Huge fan of the pod. Thanks for everything that you do. I would say, dude, when I got kicked out of school, my mom said I wasn't going to be friends with Chad and Strider anymore. And, you know, there was periods where we didn't see each other as much because you have to be on your own path. You can't just, you can't force these things.

And so I think you just got to have as much fun as you can in college and have some great stories to share with her next time you see her. Yeah. Keep in touch, though. Keep sending funny stuff. Anything you find hilarious, just enjoy yourself, but stay in touch. We've all lived in different places, and we've maintained our friendship just because we were always happy for the other person

and whatever they were doing. The power of group chat. The power of group chat. That's true, too, dude. You got Instagram. You got all these social media stuff. WhatsApp. Yeah, dude. WhatsApp is a great You got all these social media stuff. WhatsApp. Yeah, dude.

WhatsApp is a great one. This way you don't get as many alerts. It's not like annoying, you know? Yeah, bro. You're going to be solid, dude. Huge. Hey, bros. How do you approach babes and how do you secure the lady parts?

Or do I just light the matches, fuck the duck, and see what happens? Dylan. fuck the duck and see what happens dylan i i go back to the um sorry to tread the same terrain but um i always go back to the unicorn parable look if you go chasing the unicorn through the forest you're going to cut down all the trees you're going to light fire to the ground and you're never going to find the unicorn but if you have a beautiful picnic and you bring some great food and you play a lovely ukulele, the unicorn is going to come walking right up to you and just take a lot of swings.

Ask a lot of girls out. Yeah, I love it, dude. Exactly, dude. Just get up there to get up to the plate, dude.

Just go talk. Yeah, dude. What up? That's the realist advice. Just go talk. Yeah. And dude,

don't be, dude, immediacy is not your friend in that scenario. Don't be like, dude, at the end of this conversation, I have to have talked her into getting laid. Nah, dude, it's not going to work like that, dude. Unless you're Chad, because Chad's a legend, dude. But he didn't just start there. No, exactly. He fucking, dude, he paid his dues.

He shredded. He built himself up, dude. Listen to the ladies. You got to listen. Correct. Dude, listen. See how she's vibing, dude, he paid his dues. He shredded. He built himself up, dude. Well, he listened to the ladies. You got to listen. Correct. He'd listen, see how she's vibing, dude. And then maybe you, you know, that night, you don't go and get laid. That night you get, you invite her to coffee, dude. Then you hang out.

In your grand scheme, shouldn't be just to get laid. Should be like, dude, let's meet this person. Let's find out who this is. And do they deserve my dong? Watch Hitch. Watch Hitch. It's all about structuring your entire life about being an attractive dude so you don't want to just look for that you know

you don't want to just be like a fucking slob and then wait for that one moment like oh hey what's up check out my dong you know you want to just be like yeah you know i have candles in my place and they're scented and you know i like to drink green juice and go on runs and she'd be like wow me too and then you'll bone i love that dude and honestly dude the phrase getting lucky dude should be you should never think like that dude oh i got lucky with the chick nah dude she got lucky she got lucky and dude you got a john wood in yourself dude luck is just when preparation meets opportunity dude when you're fucking just shredding every day, hanging with your bros,

hitting the fucking helix bong, dude, and reading books, dude, fucking gaining knowledge, dude, and being a solid bro, guess what, dude? That's preparation, dude, and the opportunity's gonna be when that unicorn wanders up to your dank-ass picnic of a personality, dude.

And nothing says preparation like a fresh batch of Douglas Lubricant. Fuck yeah, dude. She's like, wow, you really think about the whole experience you're like yeah sensation tingling whatever that new feature is sup bro fessers i got i just got salutatorian obviously i was not salutatorian with the way i just read that word i just got salutatorian in my school and wanted some ideas from true bros

on what to vocalize for my speech. My principal said the speech has to be approved. I said, fuck that, and decided to surprise them with another one. I want to make this speech majestic and want to get my peeps psyched to graduate high school. This is the last thing they'll remember me by, and I want to turn the stoke notch up to six clicks. If you have some advice that would make my final words legendary, that'd be sweet. Thanks, bros. Your inspirations.

Speak from the heart. I think the best advice he ever gave me was just like, speak about what means to you. So like when we went to the council, whatever, spoke about what Paul Walker meant to me, what partying meant to me. That's when the audience is like, whoa, this guy is passionate about what he's saying. He's in it. You know, he's not just like reading off a fucking teleprompter he is living these words 100 dude be motivated by what you

care about and if the world sees that they have no choice but to relate if you love to do deadlifts talk about deadlifts the love will come through 100 also dude if you need some fallback plan b type shit dude quote the gettysburg address dude come on dude don't give him that fucking that's that's true you don't want to do it watch fucking al pacino speech from any given sunday dude or watch the lincoln when we add up all those inches that's gonna make the difference between winning and losing between living and and dying. I can't do it for you. Do it again, but like way back. And when we add up all those inches, that's going to make the difference between winning and losing, between living and dying. Now I can't do it for you. You

got to look to the guy next to you. Look into his eyes. I think you you're gonna see a guy who will go that inch with you that's it gentlemen that's life that's all it is the six inches in front of your face the six inches in front of your face dude just go up and do that speech of any given sunday and you're gonna fucking yeah dude yeah just do the any given sunday speech yeah go through the great speeches of history or the charlie chaplin one from the great dictator yeah yeah yeah just make a combination maybe watch maybe watch like 300 any given sunday the dictator lincoln and just combine those into one epic speech machine man with machine hearts you're not machines this is sparta yeah and then say that at the end of the speech and then kick someone off the stage yeah you gotta think of your rhetorical devices dude keep coming back to

this is sparta within your speech dude like chris rock doing a bit yeah yeah and maybe get like maybe get like super jacked and toned and wear just like a speedo with like a cape oh dude for sure right for sure and then i think the thing is early on pepper it with some like common memories that everyone has from the high school experience and then at some point you have to get sentimental yeah semi-sonic closing time for sure what up bros i love the pod it is fire as fuck and gets me so stoked it has given new meaning to my life keep up the great. I've got a question that only trust the kings of stoke to help me out with.

Throughout my entire life, I've struggled with the opposite sex. Although girls frequently tell me I'm very attractive, funny, and the best dressed out of any guy they know. I've never been able to actually vibe with any certain girl. I've had multiple flings with some betties, but they have never ended in anything more than a friend zone. I can't tell whether it's a

deficiency in confidence, charisma, or something else altogether. I'm hoping I'll someday find that one girl that just connects on a new level. I'm looking to you guys for tips on confidence and just all-around attractive qualities for dudes. Outside of hitting the gym and then Olympic lifts in particular, what are some clutch recommendations from you guys? Stay stoked.

Anonymous. P.S. Thanks to Chad for the beta on the Fleaster sweaters. It's my new go-to garment Nice Hell yeah dude What do you think Chad? When you were reading that I thought about the parable Of the unicorn again because he's like He's waiting for that one chick did he say?

Mhmm So don't Don't chase down Don't just be waiting for like one specific girl you know you got to shoot a lot of arrows yeah and um i think the best thing to do is to i think it's called being like a grounded dude where you're just like really into your mission in your life you know like you're like i want to charge tooto Santos. I want to maximize my bronze this year. I want to bench 225.

I want to be able to cook. What's your best dish now? Honestly, dude, probably shrimp scampi. It's fun. You put a nice toothpick through it. That's like hors d'oeuvres for all the parties you're having. Yeah, exactly, dude. A lot of couples nights playing Settlers of Cat settlers of katan honestly dude you guys are invited to play

as like a crew but um you know we always get sidetracked we do some epic raging when we when we chill so yeah i can't wait for you guys to get gfs anyway dude sorry sorry yeah shrimp scampi is probably my dish yeah so learn how to cook a shrimp scampi and if you just become that dude where you're into like your mission and just like loving what you do with like shrimp scampi and if you just become that dude where you're into like your mission and just like loving what you do with like shrimp scampis and stuff you will be fully confident you will radiate that and then chicks will just gravitate towards you instead of like trying to go to them 100% dude and dude look dude my calisi bro is calisi because a lot of us dudes, man, like Chad's saying, are focusing on our lives, dude, staying driven, staying positive. We're like toads in a fucking boiling pot, dude. You know, you don't just throw us into the hot water, dude, and be like, ooh, make it work.

Nah, dude. It takes time to simmer up, dude. And before you know it, like, I know that's a death metaphor, dude, but, like, what is love but, you know, sacrificing part of yourself for the other? And in death we find new life together as a couple dude and um i don't know quite what i said there but what i'm saying is uh just give it time dude be you and i think the right chick's gonna happen and you won't even know dude it'll just be like we'll just be great dude yeah that's beautiful i would say dude reading this i can already tell that you got the right

stuff i really don't think you have to do much i feel like you're paul george in the first few years of his nba career like you have the size you have the ability you have all the things that are going to make you a great player it's just going to take a couple years for all those things to coalesce into on-court productivity but it's's going to happen. So just don't stress yourself out trying to be more than you are. You have everything you need already inside the package. It's just a matter of all those things integrating. And I'm confident it's not far away, my dog.

Climb a mountain with a sleeveless shirt and flex on top. Night. What's up, dudes? My roommate and I are huge fans of the podcast. By the way, shout out Grady. So let me start off by saying I live with two man dimes. My boys are killing the game in very different categories. I'm going to gas them up real quick so you can better understand my situation.

One is 6'2", naturally tan, chiseled jawline, shredded as fuck, and always has the perfect thing to say to babes and is a straight-up lady killer. The other, shout out Darian, is 5'8", but is a light-skinned black guy who dresses to impress while having a perfectly trimmed beard, got sick tats from waist up, and is naturally yoked with minimal effort, looking like a D1 athlete.

Two different categories, but each one is definitely atop their niche and their pipe. And they pipe. Me, on the other hand, I'm a solid 7'8", depending on how my hair is that day, and can rep 225. But when I go out to Mill Avenue, oh, it's a great place to rage,

to rage with my boys boys I feel like a four Who benches on a smith machine with lifting gloves It's like in Friends how Monica is a total babe But gets completely overshadowed by Rachel's Age defying hotness so my question is What should I do to elevate my game to that of my bros Or should I or do I have to cut My losses and feed on the scraps and go to die bars

To sack the easy sevens P.S. We'd love to party with you guys if you're ever in the Phoenix Area Pete Richard Dude two I've got a quick phrase for you dude compare and despair dude bro you don't need to compare yourself to your epic bros who sound like you know they sound like legit hot dudes with solid rigs who definitely probably lay the pipe. Bro, what have we been saying to everybody today, dude? Just be you, dog. Just be you. Here's the other thing, dude.

I think gold is tested in the fire, and I think you play up to your competition. Growing up, dude, I was friends with the hottest dudes in town. My friends were all D1 athlete studs, man, and I definitely felt outgunned multiple times in my life. But in the long run, it made me work harder to make myself a better person. And it also showed me what my true worth could be in different areas of life. So I think keep hanging out with the best people you can be around. And sooner or later, you're going to find your niche and you're going to find a really sexy babe that's into you. Yeah, I totally agree with with that you want to surround yourself with people that lift you up that you're always like

what making you want to better yourself yeah so i think dude just keep crushing it with those dudes and just keep improve working on yourself be yourself improving yourself and you'll fucking just plow through and just become the best strongest dude you can be it's optimization dog 100% dude and dude look at dude um i hate to say this phrase but dude scoring puss is like um it's it's like riding a wave dude it's not like one-on-one basketball like dude your bros aren't dean up against you you know what i mean dude look every chick that you encounter every situation is a new wave dude and you're riding it and you're shredding it to the best of your abilities dude finessing it pumping catching air busting 360s whatever it is dude whether that be making her laugh dude taking her out to a dinner being nice being genuine dude

your bros are going to do that in a different way on their own wave you know there's not two bros on one way enjoy your party well and enjoy your own ride like if you're just riding the wave and you're like in the tube and you're like oh but, but if Kelly Slater was in this tube, he'd be like doing it better than me. It's like, well, you're missing out on the beauty of this whole experience. You know what I mean? Which is you learning how to ride the wave the way that you can do it. Yeah. If you want to do a snap, do a snap.

If you want to do air reverse, do an air reverse. Don't think about what other people, don't compare. Ride your wave and do your snaps and your cutbacks and your pig dog barrels and what's yeah and what's consistent and it's consistent with a lot of the the the stokers is that dude you love your friends that's a wonderful quality like you're not seeing your friends succeeding and then trying to find ways to tear them down which is a symptom of a lot of other people you're genuinely happy them. And when you have that kind of heart, you're a catch. For sure.

Someone else is going to, because you're going to be that same way with your girlfriend. You're going to be that same way with whoever you're vibing with, and they're going to feel that love and they're going to be better off because of it. Who do you think is the best at boning in the world? You're looking at him. Dude. I don't doubt it, dude. Dude. I don't doubt it, dude. Passion. I don't doubt it, dude.

You got a lot of good. Colombian. You see this eye contact I'm giving both of you right now? That's true. Dude, I have to hide from it. Now imagine I'm an inch away from you. What up, guys?

My name is Dylan and I'm having bro issues. For background, I'm a junior in high school and during my past years in high school, I was on a baseball team. This gave me a great opportunity to make bros that would last

and it did. However, since the beginning of the year, one of my oldest dogs in sixth grade connor has pulled away my entire bro group for me and i've heard that he is telling my greatest bros that i can't hang and that he doesn't want to hang with me anymore when the squad meets i've tried to move on and make new bros without having to stick up my ass about this problem but since they but since then all my closest bros have essentially shunned me from social life and i've become acquainted with the bad influencing

group to give you insight these new people like to terrorize the streets and blow horn people when they are having a chill walk i'm not going to lie i'm not stoked should i keep these feelings bottled like i have been and keep pushing through until college or should i try to penetrate the armor of hatred towards me that connor has put up throughout the year i have been trying to spot what i did to him and i asked him himself and he just blew off the question just need clarifying advice in this life-changing part of my life this is really heavy yeah i think dude um i had friends who had friend breakups in high school and the mercurial winds of that social scene and at that age can be vicious.

Like it can really make you feel isolated and alone. And this isn't an easy answer, but you just have to trust that you're not what they're saying about you and that you're above the fray. And if you can find any sort of peace in those feelings, then you'll be stronger than any person you're dealing with. feelings then you'll be stronger than any person you're dealing with yeah dude i would um i wouldn't keep trying to come back and figure out like what you did what's wrong with me why why is he acting this way towards me just do you dude let him blow off steam it's gonna be hard but you gotta just like take your own space be your own dude improve yourself and let him figure out whatever's going on with him because i'm sure it's mostly something to do with him yeah he sounds like just not a good person anyways

yeah you might be better off in the long run yeah so you know you might look back and be like thank you connor for blowing that off because you turned out to be a fucking turd for sure dude blessing in disguise and the other bros in your old crew for not coming and being your bro still is that's whack dude i mean that's just like unacceptable and as for this new bro crew honking horns pulling pranks we love a nice prank dude but honestly less is more i mean what's the tone of it dude and uh sounds like you guys are kind of bored um trying to figure yourselves out um those pranks sound pretty unfunny and basic. So I don't know if there's nice guys in there and you can find new activities to do, stick with it. Yeah, it sounds like they're not up to par

on their pranking abilities, which just shows me that this is a springboard for you to dive into a higher self where you can hit people with pranks that really change their lives instead of a minor inconvenience. And dude, it's kind of like, uh, it sounds sick, but it's really not. It's just survival. Like there was times in my life where I was in certain places where I was friends with people who I knew

weren't like my exact kind of people, but I needed friends. But in the back of my head, I always knew like, okay, these are my friends for now, but I have deeper friends behind me and in front of me that are really going to be who I roll through life with. And it's not peak happiness, but it's peak survival. So just try and keep a level head about all this shit, even though you're dealing with some whack fucking shit. Yeah, dude, and good on you

for uh you know trying to make the best of it bro what up fellas i don't know if i'm in a predicament or not and that is why i'm writing to you the past few times i got drunk i slipped into barry bonds's dms when i'm sober i'm not sure why i do this but when i'm drunk i think it's absolutely hilarious the first time i dm'd him all i said was roids the second time i dm'd him i said i'm a huge fan of you barry because every time I think about you, I think about steroids. My following message was the same. The reason I start my messages with things like, I'm a big fan, is because I want Barry to read the cover message and think it is fan mail. Therefore, he will feel inclined to be nice or respond to an innocent fan.

Once he clicks the message, he'll be hit with my immature fuckery, which I think is hilarious, and cannot wait for the day where it shows that he has read my messages or at least seen them. Here's the problem. Every time I'm sober, I feel like a dick for doing this, but every time I'm drunk, I think it is absolutely hilarious. But at the same time, I was a kid living in Atlanta when he broke Hank Aaron's record. And then I moved back to Southern California just before becoming a teenager. So I switched back to being a Dodgers fan. The problem is Barry cheated when he broke the home run record. And as a childhood brave fan, that really broke my heart. I mean mean how could you fraud on Hammer and Hank and as a young adult Dodger fan that now lives in NorCal I got a lot of shit from

Giants fans for loving the Dodgers so every time I see Giants gear all I can think of is a bunch of Fairweather fans giving me an unstoppable amount of shit and every time I think of Barry Bonds I think of how heartbroken I was when a cheater broke Hank Aaron's record so when I'm out partying with my friends and before I start chasing tail I DM Barry Bonds show my friends and we I start chasing tail, I DM Barry Bond,

show my friends and we all laugh about it. I just don't know if this makes me a dick or not, or if I'm in a predicament or not, because if this makes me a dick, I'll be in a predicament because I love showing my friends that I DM Barry Bonds, but I'll stop if you guys think this is cold hearted of me, which in that case makes me a dick and therefore puts me in a predicament

because I don't know if I'll be able to stop. It's just too much fun. Love the pod. And thanks for making me work out and take cold showers dude i'm gonna go ahead and say i think you're being a dick dude i think barry knows what he did he every time he looks in the mirror and he sees that giant head he knows about the steroids you don't he doesn't need you to remind him don't it's it's not a cool move and you're calling them fair weather fans you're being a fair weather fan you're kicking a man when he's down yeah like i don't that's like someone who like makes fun of like a tiger in the zoo for being in a cage you know

what i mean like you're like oh look are you gonna attack me tiger you're gonna hurt me tiger it's like you know the tiger can't do anything about it so you're doing it from a place of zero vulnerability like you're risking nothing and you're taking cheap shots i just think it's you seem like a good dude i think you're above it same dude and anything you got to do to get drunk so you can do it it's probably not something you should do dude you know well like when i'm with my bros we're getting drunk because we're having a nice fucking time you know and we like to feel a nice me mellow, cool buzz. It's not like, oh, dude, let's all get drunk and then go do something a little sneaky.

Nah, dude. Would you say that to Barry Bonds' face? Correct. Probably not. And you shouldn't, because here's the other thing. He made mistakes, but he's still a beast. You know what I mean? Huge beast.

Yeah, like Lance Armstrongstrong who probably deserves stuff like this more than barry because he like ruined lives uh when he was cheating it wasn't the cheating it was the lengths he went to to cover up the cheating that really made it horrific and even then like i still on balance have admiration for these guys because they've accomplished incredible things and so i just don't think you're at a point where you can be talking shit to barry like he's mr bonds to you and i correct dude like i could take every steroid on the planet and not hit a 90 mile per hour fastball like yeah i'm convinced of that dude yeah you know but granted you know like look did pitchers careers get hurt by that what was their uh collateral damage for sure dude do your dm solve that nah dude and i don't think

if you told hank aaron you were doing this i've seen hank aaron in interviews and stuff like that he's an honorable dude hank aaron would tell you to cut this shit off yeah for sure do your own shit yeah just dm a player you like and tell them how you want to hang out with them so bad that's funny and it's more vulnerable and it's it's not cowardly yeah and dude i used to do that back i remember i i i remember one time i sent i like commented on one of james franco's instagrams i don't know why i'm a fan of his. But I think I said something like, suck it, dude. Oh, you did? Because I thought it was hilarious. And I felt bad about it. I'm like, why did I do that to Franco? I love Franco. Yeah. All right. We're going to end with a new sponsor, Brain Melt Whip It Canisters. Hey, Stokers, looking for a fun party favor? Tired of coming

back to the party with a predictable booze and weed combo? Next time you rage, spice things up with Brain Melt Whip It canisters. With these, you'll not only be able to make fire whipped cream, but you'll also have the ability to do other fun and exhilarating activities. Each canister packs a serious punch when you put it in the whipped cream dispenser for mind-blowing fun. So next time you party, heighten your experience by raging face with Brain Melt Whip It. Sold exclusively for whipped cream purposes. Brain Melt does not take responsibility for any other use of their canisters and uh do whippets responsibly stokers yeah all right stokers that's gonna be it for episode 17 thank you strider for joining us thank you bros for having me dude you're excellent strider you're

thank you you're a beast and uh you guys guys uh thanks so much keep writing in um give us a rating and review if you haven't already we love those and uh check out the patreon patreon.com slash chat goes deep for bonus content we have movie reviews and all kinds of fun stuff so thank you stokers jt fuck puzio and fuck punk bitch. Yeah, dude. For sure, dude. But also, live and let live. Amen, dude. I want it both ways. Later, dudes.