Going Deep with Chad and JT - Ep 170 - Strider Wilson and Joe Marrese Join

Episode Date: January 20, 2021

What up Stokers?! We got the horsemen of the chillpocalypse riding again with Strider and Uncle Joe in studio. We talk hippos, small dongs, and diet. Sign up for new merch here: http://www.shopcgd.com   Sponsored by Manscaped: Get 20% Off and Free Shipping with the code GODEEP20 at Manscaped.com. If you wanna trim your pubes during a contagion

What's your dream? Going deep Chad and JT music music music music music

music music music music music music daddy exposed the gooch now we are going to the state fair what's up stokers of stoke nation this is chad kroger coming in with the going deep with chad and jt podcast guys before we begin i remind you once again that we are brought to you by manscape manscape thank you so much for keeping our trims pubed for looking after our hogs for making sure that our dongs are looking fresh and clean because guys remember the the nut sack never lies.

And that's the truth. And if you want to find out more about what that means, use code go deep 20 and main scape.com to get 20% off your order. And just to start working on your pubes. I'm here with my compadre John Thomas. What up? Boom. Clap stokers.

And we are here with the, the fr freaking love doctor Strider Wilson. Dude, too kind. What up, bros? Freaking fired up to be here with the Four Horsemen of the Chillpocalypse, dude. We've been having some good fodder before the pod. We're saving a lot of good

shit for the pod today. Oh, yeah. Fired up. And we're here with the lubed dome himself. What up? What, yeah. Fired up. And we're here with the lubed dome himself. Yeah. What up? What up? Sorry for dressing up. No, I love it. Are you dressed up? I'm in a vest. Yeah, I don't know. I'm just trying to class up the place a little bit.

Yeah, I love it. You are elegance personified. Thanks. You look fantastic, but I have a third piece on. You realize that? No. T-shirt. Everyone has two pieces. Shirt, top and bottom. I have a vest on. It's the third piece.

That's effort. I got one and a half pieces. These shorts are short. JT's about to like... I got custom jean shorts for working out, and someone who cares about me got me them for Christmas. Are you serious? But I don't know who did it.

I forgot. I think it was my bro, though. It was your brother? Big C. Hampton Parr. He looked like the Incredible Hulk before he turns into the Hulk. Right. Just regular Lou Ferrigno. I've gotten that before that I look like Lou.

I mean not because of the muscles. Well not not because of the muscles either Joe. JT's been looking jacked. Although actually if we're going to compare me to one of those to one of those Arab Olympians I think I think it's more Franco Colombo. Is he in the to one of those Arab Olympians, I think it's more Franco Colombo. Yeah.

Is he in the pumping iron? Yeah, I think he gets second place that year, actually. He's jacked as fuck. I do think that's a good body comparison.

Little dude. Dude, you know what would be a good power move with those jean shorts? They always tell you at a gym, oh, you can't work out in jeans.

You go in there, there's elastane in this motherfucker. You can't work out in jeans at a gym? That's what it said at Gold's. But if you have elastic,

if it's a stretchy. Technically qualifies as an athletic short. Stretchy chinos. Why would they even be worried about that? Because the only thing they should be worried about is like germs or being too revealing. Not a closed toe shoe for an injury. Yeah, exactly. I don't get it. Yeah, it doesn't make sense. It feels like a little prejudice.

Well, it's like you don't wear sandals on stage. I used to do it though. Yeah, you did that. Joe, what did you think about that? It's not good. You can't do that. If they're eye level with your feet, it is a little weird. But there's this old Christian story about how there was this tree that everyone thought the devil was in.

And they were like, don't go near the tree. Don't pick fruit off of it or the devil will kill you. And then one day a friar went up there and took an axe and just swung it straight into that tree. That's me with sandals. Is that in the Bible? I don't know if it's in the Bible, but it was in a religion class book that I read at Catholic school. St. Anne's. Yeah, I went to Catholic school.

You went to an all-boys school, right? For high school, but not grade school. What'd you get for grade school? That's weird. It was called St. Paul the Cross. Isn't it weird for high school, too? Yeah, I mean, it is, but whatever. What did you guys do for...

Did you have a sister school? Those are like the girls you asked out to dances and stuff? Yeah. How did that work? Right. Who'd you ask out to your first dance? I don't know. Was her name Stacy?

No. Was it Stacy's mom? Was it the Fountains of Wayne? Rest in peace, Adam Schlesinger. What do you mean? The lead singer, I think, from Fountains of Wayne? Rest in peace, Adam Schlesinger. What do you mean? The lead singer, I think, from Fountains of Wayne passed. Oh, really? Yeah, who also wrote this thing, that song, That Thing You Do.

Oh. But taking it into a more fun topic, we were talking about Dave's Hot Chicken before this. It's so damn dank. Dude, I've never been, but it sounds good. Bro, you gotta get I was afraid I can't handle that much spice I enjoy spice but I can't handle

extreme spice I get the hot and I'm fine the hot chicken concept in LA is really taking over there's a bunch of them now what kind of sauce are you at right now I'm at medium why medium just working my way up what's your order Right now I'm at medium. Why medium?

Just working my way up. What's your order? Do you get the sandwich with the slaw? Yeah. Or do you get one strip? The sandwich is the best. Yeah, the sandwich and the one strip. Yeah. Limit the carbs.

Yeah, I like the one with the sandwich, though, because you get the coleslaw. That slaw is probably the best part of it. Yeah. Here's what you do. Because overalllaw is probably the best part of it. Yeah. Here's what you do. Because overall, it's not that great. Just get two sandwiches, and then you don't have the bread. I'm trying to be different. Well, I want the bread.

But you just be disciplined, baby. You get hot, two sandwiches, dip the bun, ditch the bun on the second sandwich. You want Joe to watch his carbs. Yeah. Are you watching your carbs? Or is that just your go-to? That's my go-to. You don't need that extra carbs. You don't need that. Yeah.

Yeah, because the chicken's already breaded anyways. Exactly. You're not there for the bun. You're doing the fries. The fries are good. Yeah. I mean, everywhere fries are good. It's pretty hard to have bad fries. Well, Joe... Oh, Aaron, talking about In-N-Out like that. are good yeah I mean everywhere fries are really hard to have bad fries there are bad fries out there yeah they are solid and when it comes time to tell your talk to your new daughter about fries that would have come to me yeah

let uncle Chad take care of it it takes a village to raise a child, Aaron, and in this case, you need to consult the village. And he'll guide her straight to eight flying Dutchmen. She'll be like, Daddy... You ain't eating those fries without that sauce, though, I'll tell you that much. What kind of sauce they got there? The spread. Oh, at In-N-Out?

Yeah. Yeah, I love the spread. I put it all over. I always get a couple packets. You eating them without that? Yeah, I'll eat them any which way, but I prefer it with spread. I'm telling you the truth, brother. You know how you know In-N-Out gets it right? They chill the spread when they give it to you. When it comes to food, bro, taste, temperature, texture. The three Ts.

I've never been at like a heater-upper, though. I get annoyed when people are like, you're going to heat that up? I'm like, no. You know? Because they're like, heat it up. You to heat that up? I'm like, no. Because they're like, heat it up. You should eat it heated. I'm like, no. Do you like cold pizza more than hot?

Like leftover pizza? How are you having it? I don't know. I just don't like heating things up. I'm with you. Cold steak is good. Yeah. I'm like, I'll take coffee cold.

I'll take whatever temperature it's in. I don't heat up. You respect its process that it got there on its own. You don't want to change it. Yeah, and I think once the heat is gone, it's gone. Yeah, when you nuke it back in, you can taste the difference. When you microwave steak, it gets that kind of metallic taste to it, and you're like, that's not what the rubberiness,

that's not what I'm chasing. And I just don't think I like to put that much effort into it. That's the thing, Chad. I didn't want to knock you, and you don't microwave meat. You stick it in the oven. Oh, yeah. It takes the effort. Well, you're more mature than me, though. I didn't even know that was an option.

Yeah, same with me. You take your side dishes, you nuke them if you have to, but you go ahead, you set it to broil, so it gets a little hotter, a little faster. Maybe put it a little towards the top of the oven. You get that meat up to you. You put it in glassware. Baby, you're having a nice breakfast.

You're my dad. You're my dad. That's so much work, though. Papa's trying, dude. Well, yeah, the thing about the microwave, it's instant. I don't want to wait 20 minutes to eat. You learn to enjoy the work, though. That's like being an adult.

There's like a meditative quality to turning the oven on, preheating it, putting the food in there. I mean, I'm already passed out just talking about it. But that's what people say about it, about domestic rituals. Hey, Laird Hamilton washes dishes every morning. Does he really? Yeah. Rituals.

Yeah. Rituals. To wipe off the protein oats that got stuck on there from the night before. That, his macadamia nut butter. The ghee butter. The ghee butter the ghee butter and he likes to accomplish

things early in the day so he makes his bed even though Gabby Reese is still in there she's sleeping and he makes it she's like babe I'm still sleeping

he's like I gotta accomplish he's putting like throw pillows on her head they're married yeah you didn't know that she does all of his

scheduling for him like when he did our pod she was like in charge of it they're like a super team oh yeah it's awesome dude it makes sense dude in his dock You didn't know that? She does all of his scheduling for him. Like, when he did our pod, she was, like, in charge of it. They're like a super team. Oh, yeah. They're both like, it's awesome, dude.

It makes sense. It's awesome. Dude, and his doc, it's an amazing doc on Hulu. Chad and I watched it. What is it called? Hulu, like, it's called, like, Laird Going Huge or something like that. Yeah, Laird. Like, rare human.

Paddle in. Next level ice bath. When he first fell for Gabby, he had this massive break that him and his buddies would surf at on jet skis. On a Jaws. And the deal was that they never brought girls there. And right when he fell in love with Gabby, he brought her there the next day. And all the boys were like, we weren't supposed to. They're in the documentary.

They're like, we weren't supposed to bring girls there. Dude, Derek Dorner, I think his name is. He's super serious. Like Hawaiian lifeguard. He's like, you don't do that. You don't and I think the reasoning was is because they thought if the girls were there you would perform for the girls and So I wouldn't be focused on the task at hand. Yeah, which I'm gonna perform for the girls. Yeah, that's why When I went to certain kind of meetings for certain kinds of addictive problems if there was too many girls there

I couldn't do it because I was like I started talking and I heard myself trying to like sell a story a little bit for the ladies. It's good on you for that honest introspection. I bet you other dudes went and did that and did put on that performance. I can't speak to it but it for sure happened.

Yep. That's good. Honest in your introspection. Good shit. Yeah. If you've got the radar for your own horniness, that can get you out of a lot of problems. Big time. So difficult to know how you're thinking with.

Sometimes you don't even know you're horny. Yeah. You don't even realize you're horny. Remember? Well, we knew we were horny, but one time Strider and I went to a bar. You guys are always horny. That's true. I'm a horny guy.

Aren't you too? Yeah, but sorry. Go ahead. But I want to hear about you being horny after this. true. I'm a horny guy. Aren't you too? Yeah, but sorry. Go ahead. But I want to hear about you being horny after this. All right. So I'll go quick. Strider and I went to a bar and we went with our friend who we had never like tried to hook up with or anything.

But we were like in the dog days of summer and we'd just been like not talking to any girls and just striking out like crazy. And she drove us home back to my place and me and Shara were like, hey, so you want to come in maybe and have a drink? We were both throwing rhythm at her. She was like, no, I think I'm just going to go home. And then Shara was like, no, come on in. We'll have a drink.

And then she drove away and we both turned to each other. We were like, we were both trying to hook up with her. Dude, it was a nice bonding moment. And dude, good on her for being like, dude, she's awesome. She's the fucking coolest person ever. And she's like, no, we're friends. And we'd known each other for years at this point like this was like 10 years into the friendship we're like hey when i take a crack yeah yeah maybe there is something there she made the right move a hundred

percent so good good on her but yeah it was and even better for her because it bonded us we looked each other go we're horny we're horny guys i'm horny you're horny and then we just made out and went to sleep we did sleep in the same bed, but we didn't make out. We do tend to do that. It's nice. It's bonding. We wake up next to someone you love. My dad, one time, came to visit me in college, junior college.

And he came into my room and he was like, there was two people in there. And he's like, nice. My son hooked up with a girl. And then he pulled down the covers. It was me and Strider. I was like, hold on, Mr. Park. I didn't even know he cared. Should we do brunch?

Yeah, I didn't even know he cared. He was on the phone later with a friend. He's like, yeah, I just Park. I didn't even know he cared. Should we do brunch? Yeah, I didn't even know he cared. He was on the phone later with a friend. He's like, yeah, I just picked up JT. He thought he was with a girl. It was Strider.

Nice. Wait, so what about your, because I'm always curious about it. Are you horny? What are you thinking about? Am I breathing? That's a good answer. What are you thinking about? Like, when? That's a good answer.

What are you thinking about? When you're torqued up, when you're tuned up. What? Listen, I'm not talking about this. What is it? A girl, 50 yard line, soldier field, dead of winter,

hard nips, down in some deep dish. Yeah, you got me with that one. Dude, you had the best joke, and I've tried to take the joke from you, but you don't want to give it to me. I'm not giving you my jokes. But you don't want to do it. So I'm like, it's just living in nowhere land.

The joke was, you just did it one time at the improv at the open mic. You were like, girls on Hinge say, I'm not here to hook up. No, I've done that joke. Girls on Binge say, I'm not here to hook up. No, I've done that joke. Girls on Bumble say, I'm not here to hook up. And then Joe goes, I'm everywhere to hook up. Yeah, yeah. I was at Todori's Pizza before this. I was there to hook up.

Well, yeah, because too many people do dating app jokes, so I just didn't want to. Oh, you thought it was hack? But I think that's a good angle. Yeah, but it transcends dating app jokes. It just gets into your essence. Right. Good call, dude. It gets to the root of like malefemale.com. Yeah, you know what was hack? But I think that's a good angle. Yeah, but it transcends dating app jokes. It just gets into your essence. Good call, dude. It gets to the root of like male female dynamics.

Yeah, you know what? You're right. Yeah. Yeah. Because that's where guys are at. They're everywhere. Why do you have the nice, why do you go to work in the day? So you can have your family, so you can procreate, so you can just, right here.

What's that? What's that? It's a nice slap noise of a bone from a nice missionary. Oh, I thought you were talking'd like from behind david tell like david tell said the sound of true love is balls slapping up against ass that's david tell's joke respect uh dudes i have an announcement actually financial oh thanks yeah i think i'm i think i to... So I got a stimulus check, and I think I'm going to invest it in Tommy Bahama. Oh, no.

Oh, smart. I like to invest in fashion, and I'm like, what never goes out of style? Leisure, right? Especially now. Totally. Everyone wants to relax. Everyone wants to go to Hawaii, get some mahi-mahi

and they want to look good while they do it. Tommy Bahama, I think I'm going to put 600 bones in Tommy Bahama. Congrats on the 600. I think Tommy Bahama shirts these days have maybe one button on them. It's exposed 50 plus male chest hair.

That's Tommy Bahama. That's timeless look you're not talking to just some guy I used to work retail at Nordstrom men's sportswear I sold Tommy Bahama their regular fit is every other brand's relaxed fit

it's trading at 70 bucks right now and 90 cents Chad dude I think that's gonna grow, dude. That's a good call. You think it's gonna grow? You think I'm gonna stay green? I think you're definitely staying green. Or is it too bullish of me? Am I being bullish in this market right now? You're a bull, dude. You can't afford to be. Yeah, dude. Yeah. Yeah. I think even though we're going through a transition right now, dude, things aren't as volatile as they're, you know, the pros said. the pros said yeah yeah well it's like i want to diversify my my portfolio you know i have board shorts but i also want you know i want people to look back and be like daddy what do you invest in it's like floral joe everyone here i think you would rock a tommy bahama the best yeah I still have some whoa wait hold on dude you already you already have Tommy Bahamas yeah I've got those shirts in my closet yeah whoa you should wear them to the pod especially as a guy you gotta have like you gotta have kids well I used to be a bigger guy as well and that was kind of the look in the summer is Is there anything you miss from being big?

No. Fair enough. Dude, speaking of big, did you guys see that article I sent out about how hippos are getting out of control in Colombia? Yeah, I read it. So the article basically says that Pablo Escobar had an exotic zoo at his compound,

and he got three hippos, I think. Yep. And I think when the government seized it, they couldn't move the hippos because it's too hard because they're hippos. They're like, fuck, man. We need a crane for this shit. So they just let them go, but then they just started breeding. Now there's a bunch, and they're sort of impassive.

They're taking over. Contaminating water. go, but then they just started breeding. And now there's a bunch and they're sort of, they're invasive. They're taking over. Contaminating the water. And they're going to kill off some of the other species by just tearing up the terrain and eating too much of their food. Yeah. But then at some point I was like, but if they've been there for like 30 years, at what point are they like national, you know, what is that called? Naturalized citizens or something like that?

And what time do you just let them do their thing and just let it take its course? Yeah. I think it's almost like, because it was Pablo Escobar who brought them there, they're like, no, we got to stop this. Yeah, they're tainted, yeah. They're tainted hippos. Yeah. Yeah, it does kind of bother me, the arrogance of humans to be like,

these hippos are a problem. They just keep breeding and stuff. Top of the food chain. Yeah. And it's like, we're going to castrate these hippos. I'm like, you're going to chop the nuts off these hippos? The plan the food chain. Yeah, and it's like, we're gonna castrate these hippos. I'm like, you're gonna chop the nuts off these hippos? The plan was pretty intense. Yeah. Because

They didn't ask to go there. No. You're gonna cut my nuts off, dude? I'm a hippo. Hippos are sick, too. You watch them out there and you're like, we don't respect them the way we do bears, but they're not that different. They're probably more powerful with those jaws. Probably, yeah.

Oh, dude, they take out more people a year. Than any other animal, right? Yeah, I think it's the most injuries are caused because of hippos and maybe water buffaloes. That was on Who Wants to Be a Millionaire one time. What, really? Fire question. Fucking hippos, dude.

Do people just get crushed? I think they're territorial. I think they're kind of aggressive and they don't want people in their territory. And they're so big. They're always hungry. And they've got those huge freaking hungry hippos, dude. And then no one has the thing to bop them on the head

with. How are you going to bop them, dude? Make them go away. Wasn't that how that game went? You'd like hit the thing and they'd be like hungry, hungry hippos. You know what though? This might be a radical take. Those are scary. Because they're not indigenous to that ecosystem.

So they're killing other things in that ecosystem. Right. They take fat shits and their fat shits are bad for the water oxygen levels. And they kill like little microbes that are important for other freaking things. Like it all starts at a micro level and grows out from there. And so they're killing that. You know, they had a bad altercation with like local farmers.

That doesn't bother me. But the plant life, the fauna, excuse me, the flora is also in danger. For the utilitarian good, they got to stop the hippos. And how do they do it? Look, yesterday's lazy is causing today's crazy, man. You freaking should have just airlifted the three hippos out

of there Pablo got them there maybe as babies but he got them there get them out of there man where do you even take them at that point you put them on a container ship and you take them to you just get a DNA test and you go these hippos 23 and me yeah you 23 and me and you go they live

over here or you put them in an actual zoo that's probably a good bet yeah Yeah, if they could go to the zoo, that'd be cool. Or... But now there's 80. Fuck. There's 80? Yeah, there's 80 now. They're fucked and they're boning like crazy, dude. Dude, wouldn't that be crazy if you're like, I'm gonna go hike Runyon, but watch out, there's a hippo. That'd be cool. Around that bend. Dude, there was a, in Laguna Beach,

in like the 90s or late 80s, there used to be like a wild animal park type zoo and the enclosure somehow animals got out. I remember this. And it was a hippo that they had to sniper from a helicopter. Really? The hippo was too aggressive. They couldn't take it out. It was fucking moving fast and like it like destroyed a car or some shit. Was that a hippo?

It got loose on like the 405, right? Yeah, it was out on the freeway. I think I remember that. It might have been a rhino. Look, we gotta look it up. You told the car, your dad's like the 405, right? Yeah, it was out on the freeway. I think I remember that. It might have been a Ryan. Look, we got to look it up. He told the car, your dad's like, what the hell happened? You're like, it's a hippo. There's a fucking hippo on the freeway. It's not my fault. You get out of the car, you're like, what the fuck, bitch?

Yeah. She ran into my car. Bang, left hook. Knocked the hippo out. I didn't see a sign. Dude, there's a deer crossing. There's no hippo crossing, dude. Dude, we read another, just swing it back to diet a little bit too, we read another article

and I thought this might be, may I just interrupt? Of course, Aaron. There was also another option that, you know, a little quick, real quiet, little... Murder? Those hippos are dead. Murder the hippos? Yeah, I mean... Oh my gosh, Aaron.

They're not endangered. It's on the table, Aaron. That option's on the table there that that options on the table I just lift them out of there which seems a lot easier then you got a berry three hippos You gotta dig a pretty big grave now dude. There's a by the gray Aaron. There's 80 now now Yeah, I'm saying at the time right was there three there was three And they got to fucking gone How do the hippos even I don't even know what that sound means but?

I think they just mount each other fucking hippo style dude dude Yeah, the leg power those ladies must have to keep that dude up did the oh face with that jaw Oh face on a hippo What if he whisper pops he's like oh Dude we read another article about a linguist who proposed a radical idea that due to the agricultural revolution and humans eating soft and Mushy foods that's what actually changed our mandibles enough to give us the ability to pronounce F and V Yeah, they're different. I was you know? I was in the parking lot reading that article. It was the most boring fucking thing I've ever read. I couldn't get through it.

But, dude, you couldn't even say fucking about that article if it wasn't for the agricultural revolution. But did that tickle your brain at all that something as distant as eating a certain kind of food changed the way we actually communicate with one another? Yeah, then it just was going on and on. There was a lot of specificity in the article, and they explained it in detail. But the idea is interesting. You know what makes that article more interesting?

It's too long. You put your pinky in your butt, and you read it, dude. All right, well, I'll do that. Why are you laughing like that? Why are you looking around like that? Sometimes there's jokes that's a joke we're like I should have been at a barbecue and thought of that to myself and not set it out loud that was like a joke you make in class and you like turn turn to your buddies to laugh and your buddies don't laugh and you're like fuck you mean exactly what just happened

right now yeah I said a joke and none of my buddies laughed and I went fuck. Exactly like that dude. Dude you know what you took a swing. Alright well let's skip to the next. You got something? Our faces have changed and also our mouths have changed because of the food we eat.

And like breathing too. Like there's an argument that once we started farm, like agriculture started and we started farming, eating more plants and all that kind of stuff, that our breathing changed to more, we had more mouth breathing because we're designed to breathe from our noses.

But then we had mouth breathing and our mouths got smaller. Are you still doing the thing at night? Taping my mouth shut? Yeah. Yeah, you're goddamn right. You're still doing it? What? Wait, what? I didn't Are you still doing the thing at night? Taping my mouth shut? Yeah. Yeah, you're goddamn right. You're still doing it? What? Wait, what?

I didn't know you were doing this. Yeah. So wait, you just breathed your nose at night? Are you going to bed as a hostage, or what does that mean? Stop doing all this weird stuff. What do you use to tape your mouth shut? But he's a high performer. You've got to give him credit. He is a high performer.

Surfing. Sorry, not surfing. So I read this book called Breath by James Nestor, and he was on Joe Rogan too. And he talks about you want to become a habitual nose breather. So if you tape your mouth shut while you sleep, you'll breathe through your nose. And honestly, I've never slept better. And it is kind of weird. Sometimes I'll wake up and I'll forget my mouth tape shut that's weird man yeah I know I know it's weird I know but but I'm sleeping great I'm breathing great and I feel good do you do when you sleep with your lady

no does she know roll over and kiss her with tape on your mouth but she's interested in it oh that's cool yeah what kind of tape? Because I told her about just medical tape. Cloth medical tape. And I told her because when I tell people that it changes the way you look when you breathe through your mouth, it makes your

face longer and your jaw comes in and they light up. They're like, oh, if like they're like oh if you breathe through your nose you look better i'm like yeah it's appealing isn't your throat dry when you wake up that's if you mouth breathe like we're not supposed to snore we're not supposed to you know you're not like all those all those issues like uh you know like congested nose and all that stuff septum deviate i that. Sleep apnea.

Sleep apnea is from mouth breathing. Oh, yeah. So you can reverse that if you tape your mouth shut and just breathe through your nose. Is there any risk? Because I am a mouth breather. I, like, breathe predominantly through my mouth, as anyone who's watched any of our videos knows.

I'm always mouth agape. Is there any risk in me taping my mouth and then like my breath not converting to the nose? That's what I don't know. Because my brother got me into this. He started doing it first and I thought he was weird as fuck. He is weird.

Never heard of this in my life. Neither have you. No, I haven't heard of it. He's like, I read this book and I tried it and it's awesome. I was like right no no so i i was like he's like i read this book and i tried it and it's awesome i was like this is so weird and uh and my mom was concerned concerned she's like can you make sure mark doesn't tape his mouth shut when he sleeps because i'm worried he'll suffocate yeah it's scary and uh so then i went to see him in sun valley he's like you gotta try it just one night so i tried it one night and it was like the best sleep I ever had and we were waking up early

I climbed the mountain, you know, like 5 a.m You know when you wake up early and you just like your face hurts and you just like hurt I didn't have that at all. I just got right up and felt great. Hey Anecdotal evidence, so yeah, so you know it's weird but I'm enjoying it. that's your that's you like do you like trying new stuff I like optimize I like trying new stuff I like doing things like that to make me like feel different or better it is funny when I like eat like a carb or like breathe through my mouth I'm like

it's weird Chad will never do that you know like i just experienced something totally unique to my dog yeah i don't know what you're talking about yeah uh no but i like to you know it's it goes it's uh you cycle through stuff i cycle through stuff it's i just like to shake things up and experiment it's just fun i think you've been really good about not eating carbs yeah you did you're always in a good mood, so I have to believe there's some benefit. Although I've known you through all your cycles, and you've always seemed to be in a pretty good mood. But you hadn't eaten carbs in a while, and then we shot a little video

two days ago, and then we bought a bunch of Frappuccinos in the video. Chad had the Frappuccino, and watching him drink it, it was just him and the Frappuccino in the world in that moment. I was trying to talk to you, I was like, hey bro, do you want to turn these bikes around, and we'll put them in the back of the car? And you were just like. But it was magical because if you like deprive yourself of that for a little bit and then you have it, it's just 10 times more.

Diminishing. This is incredible. And you earned it. Those are carved up. It's like a milkshake. The utility of that Frappuccino goes down the more you have them dude yeah and what I like is your weirdness than what you do yeah it's not hurt anyone else no take your mouth shut and you die yeah just you die yeah that's true it would hurt me that you're gone and I would fucking miss the

shit out of you but I'd know that you were doing something to better yourself sleep yeah you went to the eternal rest you just look so peaceful in your coffin maybe different if we were sleeping at your place and we woke up and you were just taping our mouth shut. House rule, dude. Sorry, dude. Just give you a strip. Tape it up. Can't even have secondary mouth breathing in the house.

It's bad for the air. I like Joe's method of going to sleep as a hostage, though, dude. Just go full lean real hard into that, dude. Yeah, why don't you blindfold yourself? Tape yourself to a chair, dude. Have a guy ask you for nuclear codes before going to bed. Dude, I would have you do that, because I think you'd make a great villain. I would love to smoke a cigarette in your bedroom and just ask you for codes before you went to bed.

Do you want to perform that? Absolutely, dude. Look, I've got all day. You give me the codes, it's no loss to you. Then you get a good night's sleep. What do you say Chad? I don't know what you're talking about. I don't have any codes. I'm talking about the nuclear fucking codes to this warhead I have sitting eight feet from your head. I'm just a scientist. I just work here. I don't even know the codes I've only seen the warhead one time

Look we could do this dance all day. okay? And it takes two to tango. I'm telling you, I don't know anything. Shut up or I'll tape your goddamn mouth shut. No. And make you breathe through your goddamn nose. Oh, oh. That's it. What a powerful protagonist you're playing.

No, dude. You didn't give in. Yeah, wills and steel. Dude, were you doing Nick Cage? Is that what you were doing? Yeah. I always channeled Cage. You just had to make a strong choice as to what actor you were. Dude, were you doing Nick Cage? Is that what you were doing? Yeah. I always channeled Cage. You just had to make a strong choice as to what actor you were.

Could you do Samuel L. Jackson? Fuck, Samuel L. I just want to say motherfucking. I'm sick and tired of these motherfucking codes not being in my motherfucking head. I don't know. That was good. Taping dudes' mouth shut is just some cold shit I would do before popping a cap in their ass. That's good. Yeah. I was watching his master class. I would do before popping a cap in their ass. That's good.

Yeah. I was watching his master class. I noticed you have a water next to your bed. I'm going to take a sip of that water next to your bed. Do you mind if I do, even though it's only half full? I'm going to make that half empty, motherfucker. You make it a little haughty. It's a little Pride and Prejudice-y the way you do it.

Yeah, that is like... A new Dasani bottle. That is a good bottle. Yeah, yeah. Dude, was his master class good? Yeah, I'm like 20 minutes into it. It's good. I'm taking...

He's one of my favorite actors of all time. He's amazing. He's so cool, too, because I'm watching the part where they bring actors in to run scenes with him, which I'm watching it. I'm like, why the fuck would he do this? Because you're like doing an acting class that millions of people are going to see. And Samuel L. Jackson, they're doing his scene from Pulp Fiction.

So they're literally doing his lines and he's like watching them and they're like, the cameras are on there. I'm like, this is like, I don't know why

you signed up for this shit. It's like, B-Doll looks very cool doing it. No. But it is cool watching him. Like, he's just,

he's the man. Dude, actors, man. They'll do anything, man. Yeah. I'm one of them, man. I'm on casting networks, dude. During the pandemic, I go every morning onto my casting networks thing, dude. Yeah.

Some of the, because, like, there's a surplus of actors. Yeah. Some of these things you see, you know who's casting a lot, dude? Scientology. Oh, yeah? An olden era project is what it's called. Yeah. Yeah, dude.

Wild stuff. My roommate did one of their videos. Really? My old roommate, yeah's great. He's perfect for it. He's great. Yeah, I enough he was in it He's fantastic in nautical aesthetic. Yeah, promo kind of like a promo thing. Yeah We read one last article about a former athlete named Andre Mar hold who um called out tj mcconnell currently of the pacers for having a small dong while he was doing a podcast and i'm just curious like do you guys think that i mean i think it was a bullshit move by andre to call out and it's one thing to claim

your own small dong that's empowering but to to out your dog is having a small dong i don't think that's his truth to kind of dispense. But I'm just wondering, like, what do you do at that point? If you're TJ, how do you follow up? Say thank you. For freeing him from his shame? Yeah, I think that's all you can do. When I was listening to the video, I knew there had to be some kind of agenda to what he had to be mad at him.

And then towards the end, he goes, yeah, fuck him, he didn't pass me the ball. I was like, oh, okay, so that's why you're, so he was like mad at him for being a bad teammate. And that's why he outed his tiny two to three inch dong, as he called it. Saying he pees on his balls. He said that? It's pretty funny, yeah. Damn, man. Damn. So he really wanted to hurt TJ.

Yeah, I mean, yeah, he was really taking some shots. I mean, how many guys on that team didn't... I never heard this guy. Well, also, he got drafted, and this guy didn't, so maybe there was some jealousy. Yeah, dude. Right. Oh, because they played in college together. Yeah, yeah.

It's too bad. Yeah, they were roommates. Well, TJ, my heart goes out to you, dog. I'm sorry you got outed, but remember, you've always got a small dong home here. If you ever want to come on the pod, we don't even have to talk about it, but just know you're in good company and that we care about you. Yeah. I mean, it can be perceived as a setback,

but I think it's a great opportunity to become the small dong representative of the NBA. And, you know, that's a unique position. The NBA needs one. Yeah. Can't be Greg Oden. Well, you know, I watch the NBA sometimes. I'll be like, who can I relate to here in terms of dong size? And I just don't know.

But now I know that I'm a Pacers fan. That's awesome. Yeah. Maybe J.J. Barea. Maybe. Mm-hmm. You think so? Nah, but he's got a big one.

The way he goes to the basket? Not that small dong guys can't go to the basket, because TJ plays with some fire. But he's got that BDE. He's got that BDE. And he's kind of bald, which I always think guys who are kind Of losing their hair probably have big dicks. I think so cuz it goes somewhere else nice me full hair full hair

Small small tiny tiny tiny cock. Yeah, you have like too much hair. What's going on? You like George Clooney looks like it's like proceeding hairline. Yeah, that's how Steven Soderbergh described it in the I Got more. I got more hair coming in. Yeah. That's how Steven Soderbergh described it in the... I got more hair coming in. Yeah. That's what it looks like. But your dad's got a good head of hair. He does, yeah.

Same hair, same hair. Everyone in your family has got a good head of hair. Your dad's got a little dick? He's got a small cock. You know how most kids when they see their dad's dick for the first time,

whoa, impressive. Maybe me one day, I saw him, I go, whoa, you too? A lot of hair.'m sorry man it's just our truth me and tj dude that's just what it is and i think jt you nailed it when you said it at first it wasn't this dudes who the college guy that didn't get drafted wasn't his truth to tell dude your dad was always a beast though about having a little dick for sure so when you saw it

did you lock eyes with him and he's like you're a Wilson now yeah he was coming out of the shower you know I was excited it was a Saturday dad let's go like paint the fence do whatever hang out and I saw it and then he looked at me and I looked at him we locked eyes and I looked right back down

and then right back up at him and then he sort of just gave me a classic like the blushing and more words are less like a Wilson just sort of shrug and to the viewers at home you can't really see it but it's just kind of like a you know I mean and if I could make that audible it just be like a yeah yeah it's tough what did your father do when i mean you are very well endowed man yeah did your father i mean when you saw your father's obvious i'm assuming fat fat fucking dps what yeah what was that like i just started clapping gave him a big hand. Thanks for the show.

Was there a point where your dad saw your grown-up dick and he was like, welcome to the club? Yeah. That's awesome. Oh, the double bicep. When you were a kid, did you have to wear pants for a long time? Because I imagine when you had a little kid body, but you probably had a huge fat cock, did you have to wear pants for a long time cuz I imagine when you had a little kid body, but you probably had a huge fat cock Did you have to wear pants the whole time like what grade could you start wearing shorts?

What grade your body grow into your dick? I'd say like junior year of high school. I thought you're gonna say college. No did you have awkwardness? You know like people like when they grow too quickly You know like gangly in it video like awkwardness like you would get like people like when they grow too quickly, you know, like gangly. Do you have like awkwardness like you would get like stuck in things or you would like hit it, you know, like you're getting out of the shower and you forget it that is like in the shower? Yeah, that's a good question. Yeah, sometimes it would stay, want to stay in the shower because it likes the water dripping down on it. Sometimes you have to yank it out of there.

Want to go in the drain and stuff. Well guys, we are in luck because speaking of hogs, I'm interrupting this podcast so you know once again that we are brought to you by Manscaped. Manscaped, thank you so much for keeping our trims pubed, for looking after our hogs, for making sure that our dongs are looking

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That is 20% off, plus free shipping with the code go deep 20 at manscape.com Keep your trims pubed and stay sexy this Valentine's Day Hell yeah, dude Well done, brother Thank you Alright guys, first cue Evolution causes wedge Anonymous please, dudes

My girlfriend is super dank But it recently came to my attention that she doesn't believe in evolution i was wondering why when humans evolved to have to cook their meat and she got pissed when i brought it up i've known she is very religious from the start but she is a nurse and a smart person and i just assumed she believed in evolution what the wtf do i do how do i handle this also do we have to cook our meat when apes don't thanks i i don't know if i could date someone who didn't believe in evolution if it because it's not going to just be one isolated belief that means that they believe a couple other fundamental things about human existence that i would disagree with and even though that doesn't necessarily affect my day-to-day life

i do think it means we're going to have so many separate perspectives that i won't really be able to talk fully how i'd want to all the time and that's kind of important to me so i mean you know we all have to make concessions but i don't know that feels like you're gonna have to make a lot so i would never suggest breaking up with someone but it is interesting to think about like that is a tough one i don't i don't know what i do if you really love her though maybe you can just be like oh oh, that's kind of sweet. She doesn't believe in evolution. Yeah.

But I don't know. It seems like that's such a deep one not to believe in that my brain just keeps running to what are the other things she must disagree with me on. Yeah. Does the church not believe in evolution? Like the Catholic church? I think they do accept evolution don't they

yeah who's who are creationists I don't know there's like literalist bible interpreters and then there's not yeah so it's like I don't think there's like I don't even think the church is like literalist maybe they are I'm not sure

Aaron do you know I don't know where their official stance is Maybe they are. Depends, yeah. I'm not sure. There's different denominations. Aaron, do you know? I don't know where their official stance is. They accept all the mainline Protestant denomination supporter except theistic evolution. So God created the animals that then evolved into humans. Exactly. Okay. It's a bit of a cop-out, but all right. Yeah, 100%.

I have broken up with someone over religion. Oh, nice. Dude, get into it. We were only dating. We maybe had like three, four dates, but it was getting pretty hot and heavy. And she was just super Christian and I was not. And I was like this that's just that's gonna come up it's just gonna come up so many times yeah and it's just not gonna work

um it's a shame but she she found someone else and has had a child and got married so she's she's all good so nice um it turned out she was also into insane clown posse. So I really dodged a bullet there. No, how'd you let this spark plug get away? Yeah. It was really hot and heavy. It also came down to I had just gotten out of a relationship where things weren't happening sexually that I was wanting.

Nice. Yeah. What things? interesting the sexual sexual sexing for for you weren't there you guys weren't fucking yeah we were doing a bunch of other stuff but it was like dude if we're not doing this like why are why am I here? Damn, Aaron. No, no, understand. Understand it wasn't like date three. It was like it had been a while. Yeah, right. So you couldn't Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson, where he just waited?

No. You couldn't soak? Do you know what soaking is? I mean, I wouldn't be able to, and nor would you once I'm inside you but yeah so I went from that one I love it dude I went from that one to this girl who had

been divorced and had a child already and she was very sweet and all that great stuff but she wanted to be celibate again till marriage and I was like I don't know if I'm going to marry you. So what? Yeah.

That's also a tough one if she already has a kid. So you're like, but you already did it. So like, isn't the cat kind of out of the bag at this point? Yeah. Yeah. And it's like, all right, that's your choice. But I just can't do that. I'm not.

I just got out of a thing where this was an issue. And now you want me to. It's like, I'm not going back to, why would I set myself up for that? So that's like, that's, this is kind of separate, but it's kind of like when someone who was like a total womanizer becomes like a hardcore Christian. And they're like, no, I don't do that. I'm totally monogamous now. And I think everyone else should be that way. And I'm like, yeah, but we're like, even me living my non-monogamous life, I'm not going to catch up to the numbers you did. but we're like, even me living my non-monogamous life,

I'm not going to catch up to the numbers you did. So I'm like, I don't know if you're really in a position to be like telling people who shouldn't, who shouldn't, shouldn't bone. Since you've got all the boning out your system already. Yep. Yeah. Yeah. Like I said, things were,

things were hot and heavy early on too. And I was like, how in the hell are, how are we going to just stop every time? Oh so maybe she was into that too right? Because that is kind of like hot where it's like no but we shouldn't but we can't but I want to and then you're like yeah. Sounds like blue ball

city. Yeah exactly. We're actually traveling there next week. Exactly. I mean yeah. For real. I couldn't even imagine going on with that. No. She did say, like, there's other stuff we can do. And I was just like, I just did all that stuff.

Like blowies? Probably. I don't know. I mean, we never got into negotiations about it. Because I was like, then the religion thing came up. And I was just like, nah. Right. Actually, it was the juggalo thing was first.

I wouldn't have seen it coming until I got to her house and saw the Insane Clown and Posse's series of books, apparently, on the shelf. Are they religious? Well, that's what you get for meeting a girl at EDC. They faked being religious to get fans. They have since admitted that. Interesting. Oh, interesting.

Smart move by them. Yeah. Very savvy. But yeah, and she did not know that at the time. Yeah. Interesting. Yeah, I mean, I feel what you're saying a little bit. Like it's, you know, in a lot of situations where you could be like oh we'll have our differences and stuff but we can but it's also like if you want to

be with her long term that's sort of like a belief that like you were saying will probably lead into a lot of other areas of your life so if you are looking long term to start a family and stuff it's like you know you have like kids and that's like a fundamental thing that you probably should agree on yeah yeah yeah so that's a foundational disbelief dude you're building a house dude the foundation one of those pillars is just not set yeah it's like it needs to be 10 feet no it's only five feet well we're fucking we're fucked yeah yeah you might have to evolve out of this relationship, dog. Yeah. Be like one of the lizards in the Galapagos Islands.

I am slowly changing from the person I was at the beginning of this relationship. Yeah. Charles Darwin really loved his old lady. I guess he said before he died, he was like, oh, what a joy it is to be taken care of by you. Yeah, that's nice. So, you're in good company, dude. All right.

This one is Cuddling. Chill or not? Sup, Chad and JT and other savants of Stoke that may be on the pod. I'm a longtime listener in need of dire advice. My name is Justin. I'm a 25-year-old Stoker living in Boston, Massachusetts. I have a great job selling software and do well for myself financially. I keep myself in pretty good shape and do decently well with the ladies.

I'm fortunate to say life is going really well. But there's one problem. I'm a cuddler. Anytime a lady friend decides to spend the night, I wake up the next morning cuddling her. Is this a problem? Is this a problem? Now this wouldn't be an issue if she was cuddled up to me, but I wake up every morning cuddled

up to her. This just all sounds adorable. But he just wants us to be adorable, right? Yeah, he starts off bragging. I have a huge bed, so I don't know what the problem is. I deliberately try falling asleep facing away from my partner to avoid the issue, but I'm just so cute at some point during the night, I have to snuggle over to her beautiful face and just give her little baby kisses.

No, I made all that up. After her eight orgasms, she doesn't want to cuddle. Yeah. Yeah. I have a huge, I'm five foot ten, bragging again,

with the American average height. So it's pretty emasculating waking up in the fetal position with my head on some girl's shoulder who's five two. What the fuck should I do? Should I fall asleep listening to David Goggins or should I embrace my life

as a little spoon? Looking forward to the undoubtedly dank advice you can give to this matter. Yeah, dude. I think you're good, dude. Next time you write in, it better be a real problem.

Yeah. Dude, here's what you do. He's also not the little spoon if that's what he thinks. He's the big spoon. Yeah. Here's what you do. Show that email

to your older brother. He backs into her. He needs to show that email to an older brother if he has one and just get punched in the arm before sending it, dude. Like right when you're about to hit enter to send, your brother's got to punch you so you miss the send button, dude. And then we don't receive it, dude. I'm sorry to come down hard on you, dude.

Well, and everyone here is pro-cuddling. There's not a non-pro-cuddler here. We're just saying it's not a real problem to like to cuddle I thought he was gonna say like coming out of what I just said what I just revealed like all we do is cuddle And I'm annoyed by it, but no he's yeah, that's what I thought no He's like after we bone and we're just spending the night together just having the best dream I accidentally get close to her and hold her it's like oh, yeah, you really fucked up, huh pal. Yeah I accidentally get close to her and hold her. It's like, oh yeah, you really fucked up, huh pal?

Yeah. Dude, huge problem, dude. My dick fits too perfectly into every orifice with this girl that I'm seeing right now. And it's like really making her happy and stuff. And like, I'm meeting her parents next week and we're gonna get married, but like, what the fuck do I do, dude? Yeah. Dude, I have this huge issue where every time I come, I say, oh yeah. Like even after the fifth time my girlfriend's blown me that night, I go, oh yeah.

And I'm just so embarrassed. Why do I keep saying that? Am I just doomed to get blown and nutted all the time and say, oh yeah, for the rest of my life? I mean, I don't know if I can take 10 million blowjobs saying, oh yeah, afterwards. Dude, my problem is like, after I get head before going out, dude, like I like partying still. And it's like, shouldn't I be like done partying after that? I should be tired. I just got blown. Why am I dancing on the dance floor with three new girls that I just met having the best time with? My friends that I care about I just don't get it. Why do I have so much energy?

Hey, bros. I need some advice. I'm having too much anal and I can't stop smiling Shall listen to David Goggins so I can stop smiling from all this anal Yeah, I think you're good man I also think this is just personal but I like being cuddled when the girl's holding me from behind and I'm facing the other way, and that doesn't feel emasculating to me at all. I'm like, she's holding on to my, like, you know, it's almost like in a movie poster if, like, you know,

Conan's in the front with the sword, and then the girl's got her arm around his waist. It's like I'm protecting her from the oncoming marauders. She's riding on the back of your Harley. Yeah, exactly. Everyone likes to be little spooned deep down. Everyone wants to be little spooned. Of course, you want to be held.

You want to be held. Exactly. Hold me. By someone who cares about you? Absolutely. Come on. You have big spoon, your arm falls asleep. Yeah.

I like giving kisses on the forehead. Oh, I fucked up. Oh, I'm sorry. Sorry. I made a mistake. What did I do? I like this guy. No big deal.

You're cool, man. I'm sorry. All right. Backstabbing best friend. You write a subject like that. It's getting red. It's tough. Dearest Chad and John Thomas.

Hello, Chad, JT, Strider, maybe guest, and Joe. I miss you, Joe. Hope you're living good. Thanks. Miss you, too. Okay. Now to my situation. I have a friend I've known for over 10 years.

He's been solid throughout our time together, but recently he's been kind of shady. So one night he came over for a hangout and it was pretty good. He ended up staying the night. Flash forward a couple months and I found out while he was staying over, he went through my phone and sent my girlfriend's nudes to himself. Oh. I'm shocked, confused, bitter, and really angry. I saw him at a party and he tried to be cool and act like nothing happened.

I haven't talked to him since and before I do, I want to get your opinion on what actions I should take. Should I forgive him? Should I kick his ass? Should I never talk to him again? Any input would be greatly valued. From very, very hurt Stoker. First of all, I thought this was going to go. And I woke up and he was cuddling me. Yeah, exactly. And again, I would have been like, no problem at all.

You're good. That's a pretty psychotic move. Yeah, pretty creepy all around. Yeah. I distance yourself from this. Is that like a crime? Probably, yeah.

I think it's a crime. It's gotta be, right? I don't know what you call phone stuff. Kind of like in the revenge porn category? Yeah, It's gotta be, right? I don't really call phone stuff. Kind of like in the revenge porn category? Yeah. It's gotta be somewhere in there. I mean, it's definitely not okay. And this guy probably has some sort of addiction, the fact that he did that.

So he's gotta seek help on his own. I mean, if you want to be the most benevolent version of yourself, dude, talk to this guy, tell him that he really needs to go get help. And, yeah, I mean... You know what you should say? You should say, you know what, dude? This friendship is not fappening. Dude.

Fire. Because you know he sent them to himself to go and freaking drill himself to. Yeah. Not chill. Yeah, I know 100% he's drilling himself to those photos. There's no other possible explanation. Yeah. Unless he's an artist.

I was going to buy her a bathing suit. I need to know her dimensions. No, dude. If he's an artist, he's like, look, dude, I don. Yeah, unless you know dude. I was gonna buy a bathing suit I need to know her dimensions if he's an artist. He's like looked at it. No one tell anyone dude I'm really into sketching in art school I think she's a beautiful physique if that's it needs like I want to Titanic her dude, then maybe that's okay No, it's still not okay. That's true. You got permission. Yeah, you gotta ask her It's not less nefarious go to his place and like the walls is covered a sketches Yeah, your girlfriend in the nude. He's got to ask.

You got to the crux of it, though. This guy has a serious problem. I think you tell him, hey, look, man, we're no longer friends. I'm sorry. You crossed the line. I just think you can't be friends with a person after that. You say, dude, I'm sorry. We're no longer friends.

And I want to kick your ass, but at the end of the day, I just feel bad for you. You need to go. You let him have it with both barrels. feel really bad for you you'd betray me like that that means you're willing to do dirty to anyone in your life just to get like your fix whatever that is you need to go get help I wonder does she know about it yeah I think you gotta tell her though

you gotta if you have the information honesty is the best policy let her know and it's not his fault the fucking guy sneaked on his phone, dude. But I don't know, man. If someone withheld that from you, if you found out that someone was withholding that from you, if I knew there was nudes of you out there and didn't tell you. Yeah, that's true.

That's true. Come on. There's no question. And he has nothing at fault. Even if they had a passcode argument, he's got to just take that. You've got to face the music. And you've got to go, look, you're right. I never thought this would happen.

But, like, my friend's a sick fuck. I didn't think he was this sort of sick fuck. I hate that this happened to you, but it did. She needs the information. I know. She's just going to be so. Oh, it's going to suck. She's going to feel so violated.

Of course she's going to feel violated. It's a total violation on her. Yeah. This guy's a scumbag. Three seconds. Yeah. But I don't think it's really the boyfriend's fault at large. Like, it's not.

No. I mean, do you got that maniac of a friend? How would you ever fucking know? Yeah. The weird part is the guy has been, he said he's been a good friend all up until this point. Yeah. Which is, so that means for sure he has, like, a specific issue. Like, this is, like, some kind of thing for him that he has to do.

So, yeah, you just got really unlucky. He could just be like a sociopath, charming guy. This is a great guy. And then he's trying to learn that there's a dark underbelly to this guy. Some talented Mr. Ripley shit going on. But he slow played it for 10 years. Oh, they've been friends for 10 years? I think that's what he said.

Hey, some guys, that's how some sociopaths do their thing. Yeah. All right. Newly married secrets came out. Savant's a stokeopaths do their thing. Yeah. All right. Newly married secrets came out. Savantza Stoker, I'm writing you in dire need of help. I'm a 30-year-old stoker that recently got married during the vid pandemic. My, the vid pandemic?

COVID. Oh, nice. Yeah, thanks for giving it a nickname. Vid P, dude. My wife and I had friends over who were engaged to a dank couple's game night and some charcuterie. Now for the issue. We ended up playing a game called Do You Know Me, where other players take turns guessing true or false questions or playing cards against one of the other players. Sounds fine, right?

Wrong. No, it doesn't sound. I would never play that game. The cards played started unveiling secrets about each other. Some examples are sex on the beach, number of sexual partners, getting laid on homecoming, hooking up with coworkers, etc. The worst part is our friends were either lying or perfect saints.

I understand everyone has their past, some worse than others, but she told me she had a hard time sleeping after that, and not going to lie, it kind of hit me different as well. What do we do from here? Do you think we need to get a divorce? Please help me keep my name as anonymous as my wife listens to increase her stoke from time to time any help

is appreciated also what up strider joe joe's hog and any guests thank you wait so what what he learned they said he learned he didn't really get into specifics but he said that some examples are sex on the beach number of sexual partners getting laid on homecoming hooking up with co-workers but we don't know and i guess all the secrets were on him and his wife's part because the other party was like, no, we've never done anything like that. The games, Do You Know Me? Yeah.

Sounds like, hey, let me tell you who I used to fuck. Yeah. All the things were related to that. It's a crazy game to play. I would never play that game. That's not a game. You want to hear about all my past sex partners? Let's get fucked up.

What do you guys do from here? You just don't play that game again. Yeah. Go ride a scooter. Rename that game Home Record. Rename that game Therapy, dude. Go freaking just go have an honest conversation, dude. That's it. Dude, there was a show called The Honest Truth where couples would go on there

and one would be hooked up to a lie detector and they'd be like, do you trust your husband in the same room as your best friend becky camera cuts to becky and the husband sitting together in the audience and the wife's like no and they're like you told the truth ten thousand dollars oh my god and then the questions get pretended yeah i remember this the questions get progressively more like insane or like just or just heartbreaking really and then by the end of it i remember the husband he's like hey babe you've already said all our secrets up to this point just give them the last

couple secrets so that they could get like the million dollars i mean he didn't say it that long but he's like babe it just doesn't matter at this point just keep going like just get the money yeah the whole marriage is already fucking in flames i know but that's not a game that's what i mean like these aren't games yeah like these aren't games This is like just like weird psychological like sadomasochism and we're putting a board game with it. It's I don't know Yeah, this is like closer the board game. Terrible move. Jude Law and Clive Owen just tearing into each other Yeah, don't play that If you're gonna play that game play it against a couple that you know, it's fucking wild. So you see yeah Yeah, yeah, they played with the couple that you know is fucking wild. So you see what team. Yeah.

They played with the couple that doesn't believe in evolution. Yeah, you got to do that at like a swingers party. If both members of the other couple are wearing khaki pants, dude, you don't play with them. Yeah. All right, one more. My new girl's ex. What up, Chad, JT, Strider, Joe, or any other boss y'all have on the pod? Lately, I've been talking to this girl in college,

and we seem to have a lot in common being from the same state. We are stoners and want to move to the mountains someday to shred some nice pow. However, every time we go out to the bars or clubs, one or more of her exes will either come up and try to start shit with me or try to get her riled up. We go to school in a small town, so it is hard to avoid people forever, as long as we are here. Any advice on how to handle these past dudes and move on with this dank babe peace and love

well i think they're starting shit because they're jealous right they're upset that you guys are pretty happy together so i'd always just remember that baseline thing that whatever they're trying to provoke out of you is because they're mad that they're not with her so you're you're in the position you're in the enviable position, even though I don't envy what you're going through. I would say, I don't know, man, you're probably too young to just start doing therapy, but that's always a good thing, just learn you can't control what you can't control.

And then, I don't know, take jiu-jitsu classes too. So you just feel safer when it's all happening. Small town stuff's tough. I mean, you're going to see people wherever you go. So there's probably two bars in town and everyone goes to them so move move go go somewhere else yeah what could the commute to back in for college what how bad could it be if they're in a small town now yeah right they're still in college i don't know what yeah i like taking martial arts that

just something to boost your boost your confidence a little bit because but yeah i think uh they're jealous you got a nice babe be stoked on that and kill them with kindness yeah that can work if you're just like so nice to them yeah like you're just like oh dude good to see you again man like what's up bitch and you're like we should be boys yeah why aren't we friends yeah I don't understand why you're mad at me is it because you're still in love

with Claire is that why you're a dick yeah yeah it is actually okay well we're dating now so maybe you should move on and find someone you care about. Whatever shit, dick. Fair enough. That's probably as close to... You diffused me.

That's as good as it can go. That's it going perfect. So it's not the best sitch to be in. All right, one more, one more. Girlfriend is a hothead on the road hey boys so my gf and i went on an hour and a half road trip for a dank weekend getaway we were using her car so obviously she was driving it turns out she channels her inner vin vin diesel that's hot went behind the wheel because she rides the left lane all the way changes lanes without a blinker

passes cars like a maniac tailgates and lays on the horn like we're on the runway racing to the last chopper out of nam nam on the last trip some dude failed to yield and she was flipping the bird yelling the whole nine yards the whole thing was so strange to me because in every other respect she's a super sweet girl but i guess something switches in her head when she's driving we stopped for some starbucks on the way and she almost got in an accident in the parking lot because she wasn't looking during the drive i said babe relax you don't need to be going that fast. Just calm down. And she yells, stop. I know how to drive.

Needless to say, it scared the shit out of me. How do I deal with this? I feel like this is something I definitely should talk to her about because, frankly, I do not want to be in the car when she's driving and worry about her safety. Any help would be greatly appreciated. Loyal Stoker, Zach. Yeah, I think I'd just be honest. I'd be like, look, i feel super unsafe when you're driving

it's a little absurd and you scare the shit out of me yeah i don't like these reckless drivers yeah and it's like i think maybe scare straight a little bit be like you don't want something you don't want this reckless driving to lead to some you know you're doing something horrible by accident tone it down it's just like you know listen to some zen buddhism while you drive or something like chill out yeah chill and you know her comeback of oh i know how to drive i mean you could just tell her like look you want to drive like that when you're in the car and you put other people at risk cool yeah really it's not cool yeah but if i'm in the car with you no go dude yeah like that's not chill

100 that's what's up yeah and it's definitely a personality thing with their girlfriend it's like a control thing people have road rage oftentimes have like control issues and stuff because they're not dominating every aspect of being on the road because it's a shared thing so there's something to look out for there down the down the road pun intended and uh but yeah dude you have the ultimate car to play it's my life you know and you're responsible for it when i'm in your car please drive cautiously yeah it sucks sucks to have that talk dude uh you could i got a sneaky solution and i did this to help myself stop driving so maybe she has to be conscious of the of why it's happening for it to be effective.

But you take a picture of a baby and you just put it up in her car. And you could just be like, hey, this is my niece. I just want to put a picture of her up in the car. Because I took a picture of my friend Suzanne's kid when he was a baby. And I put it up in my car. So anytime I started driving fast, I'd look at the baby and I'd be like, I don't want to kill a baby. And it got me to just drive a little bit slower. Oh, that's smart.

Maybe I'll put my niece up there? Doing ballet? It's a good reminder. A lot of people actually do that. I've seen a lot of family photos in people's dashes and right by their speedometer. Let's you know what's at stake. Yeah.

A lot of people do that. That's good. My ex, because I drive like a fucking idiot. Joe knows. Every time we drive. Yeah, I don't like you driving. It's probably why I lost my license in high school.

But I'd be driving with my ex and she would just go, I'd, you know, stop too close to the car in front of me, you know, just, and she's like, I don't like this! She just put her hands up. Yeah. I don't like this. It's not, yeah, I don't, didn't she say, like, I don't feel safe? Yeah.

Yeah, it's not safe i don't didn't you say like i don't feel safe yeah yeah i yeah it's not safe really with you driving so yeah you need i have a lot of friends that are like that that people just need to really take a step back get it together and focus on the road um Stop at the stop sign. I do do that California stop a lot. And yeah, I mean, be safe. Get a holder for your phone. Slow down. Are you just talking directly to me? No, I just, I have a few people pictured in my head and I just, it's frustrating. And you're a very safe driver. Yeah. I mean, I've had a couple of close calls.

So yeah. In our garage, you know, your former garage, Joe never backed out of it backwards all the way. Whoa. He always flipped it around and came out front side. Yeah. Why would I back? It has the incline. You can't, he always does that.

Why would you back up on an incline? It's dumb. I would say You can't. He always does that. Why would you back up on an incline? It's dumb. I would say I never had an issue with that. But the one problem that almost did arise is that sometimes a pedestrian would be crossing and I didn't have as much like visibility on them. Yeah, that's the thing. There's also, yeah, there's a huge bush there. I know you have the backup camera, but still it's, I don't know.

That backup camera is huge. I got in an accident in that garage. The only accident I've ever been in. I whacked the pillar super hard. I was down there with you. I had to move my car so you could get out. Wow. And I just, I don't know what, like, you had to just have, like, a wild hair up your ass that day.

I was hubris, dude. I thought I was, like, trying to look cool in front of you. Like, I can whip this puppy around. And you're so good at parking, too. You're so good in tight spaces with the car. But he just backs up, doesn't brake at all, and just runs his car into a pillar jc looks at me he's on the phone he's like what and i was like oh i got out and looked and just kept driving when i when i was in high school i was showing off in the parking lot and i was like i kept driving around the parking lot in circles playing like

different goofy music like whoo and then i'd back up and like do it again like oh i'm not done yet and then one time i pulled forward and then i went to back up and i was like like dancing like a britney spears song i'm like doing it for the whole school i'm like and then just crashed into this lady's van who was picking up her daughter i got out of the car and i tried to like give the thumbs up to my friends like it's all cool i was like i remember i looked at joe capoletti and i went thumbs thumbs up. And he went, no, thumbs down. Yeah, thumbs down. Thumbs down. Thumbs down.

Yeah. The lady was fine. I was like, I'm so sorry. I am so, so, so sorry. Yeah. All right. Should we get into the next part, guys? Yeah.

Let's do it. Chat. Before we do, may I deliver my gifts? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Aaron got gifts. Yes. Thank you, Aaron.

Beast. Thank you. Dude. Well, I'm excited for this. Thank you. I'm excited for this. Thank you, Aaron. Where's Joe's? Yeah, thanks. I'll just go on my phone or something. Sorry, I didn't. Okay, well, GT already opened it. Oh, my bad, my bad. Yeah, so I was standing at a particular place waiting for an order,

and it said on the wall, you got gear? I got milk, and I was like, you know what? I don't have any five guys gear oh what the shit dude let's see oh my god dude let's all use this as a napkin i'm literally wearing my in and out t-shirt as we work out i'm wearing it in and out those pretty cool shirts these are sick yeah thank you it'd be cool if you had one, Joe. I can get you one. So Aaron didn't know Joe was going to be here today.

No, I ordered them before you got back to town, so I apologize. No, it's okay. I have enough shirts. There's five guys in here right now. We are the five guys. The five guys. Cinco, dude. Dude, Aaron, thank you so much.

Thank you, Aaron. Appreciate that, dude. Yeah, they got like that vintage fade. This is nice, yeah. I love a nice tea, dude. Thank you, Aaron. Yeah. That was awesome. I might go to five guys. It's really good. Five guys is great. It's not as good as NM.

Chad, who's your beef of the week? Dude, actually, I forgot to write down beef of the week. So what is my beef of the week? My beef of the week is... Tell them about the diet. Because you're eating beef. Yeah, I don't know. It makes me nervous.

I think you should talk about it. I think this is compelling. I like that you're nervous about it. It means that it's meaningful to you in a way. But I don't think anyone should judge you for it. I think this is compelling. I like that you're nervous about it. It means that it's meaningful to you in a way. But I don't think anyone should judge you for it. Yeah, how do I word it? It makes me nervous. Just tell the truth. Just tell people what to do. When people... The fact

that we're having this conversation in the build-up, when you actually say what is the thing, I think people are going to be like... There's no one will judge you for it because you're being so thoughtful about it and it means so much to you to even talk about it they'll just appreciate your vulnerability is what I mean yeah I don't know you gotta do it dude we're all the way here Aaron what do you think do you think I'll be judged

in LA for it? No, you're an adventurer, man. We already learned that with the sleeping, with the mouth taped. Okay. Yeah, I think you've already offended enough people.

No, it doesn't offend anyone as a boy. Well, do you know what he's going to say? Okay, so I've been trying this diet for the month. All beef, carnivore diet, animal-based. I eat honey. I like switching it to animal-based.

I think that's a smart move because carnivore sounds so aggro. Yeah, and I wanted to try it for a month, and I was hesitant to say it publicly because, you know, for some reason, there can be such a negative connotation, you know, and it's like, and I just didn't want to fucking, you know, just because people are crazy about that, and it's like, I just didn't want to deal with, like, the, you know. The other judgments that people might make based off the fact that you do that diet. Exactly, yeah. Because it's not like, I wanted to do it. I just wanted to try it. And my brother tried it and we're like doing it together.

And it's like, but I don't want to be one of those guys who's like always preaching about diet. You know, it's like, this is what you got to do. This is why I do this. This is the only diet you can do. that yeah yeah and i think i think i uh so i just didn't want to like i was just like uh hesitant to talk about it publicly because uh i don't know it just feels like like on the internet it just people people can match you for something like your diet which is so insane It's like I enjoy eating steak, you know, all the time. Steak. And I don't really know why that should become a political thing.

Has that happened to people? I think it has happened to people. People make a thing like political and you're like. Don't think they know what you voted for based off your diet. I ate steak this afternoon yeah exactly and maybe I'm just way over blowing it and I'm just like sensitive to the times

but they are scary times you know because there's just all you know the internet's fucking insane but I appreciate you being open about it oh thanks yeah so I'm trying animal based for the month and I feel good and I like it and uh so that's what's going on and I'm trying animal based for the month and I feel good and I like it and So that's what's going on and it's got nothing to do with politics so any veggies or no veggies

Yeah Well, why don't you do your research chief? Yeah, I'm probably gonna stick with some veggies All I'm thinking is Chad loves a military industrial complex. What about a little bit of broccoli? No. That's always my thing. That's always my thing. I fully support you doing it, but I'm always like, with broccoli, I'm like, I know broccoli's healthy.

There's just something about looking at broccoli where I'm like, I know this thing's healthy. Here's the argument. So the argument is that plants don't want to be eaten. I'm like, I know broccoli is healthy. There's just something about looking at broccoli where I'm like, I know this thing is healthy. Here's the argument. So the argument is that plants don't want to be eaten. And the reason – so animals don't want to be eaten, obviously. They can run away. That's their defense system. You know, they have different – or they can, like, bite you, whatever.

Plants, they can't run away. They're in the ground. So they develop certain toxins to discourage you from eating them and so you know a lot of plants like spinach for example they have like oxalates which are build up killed kidney stones and stuff and so they argue that some plants are more you know some plants are like avocados like fine but and this is mostly for people who are like super, you know, sensitive to foods. Like I can eat, I can eat, you know, plants and feel fine. But this is kind of, if you really want it, this is like a full elimination diet where you, you know, you just cut out all that stuff.

But the argument is that, you know, and this varies from person to person but argue that plants have certain toxins in them that your body disagrees with and that aren't as you're not able to um fully get the nutrients from plants it is what's the term it's like um like bioavailable or something it's like the argument that is that from like meat and in this diet you like incorporate like organ meat because it has all the vitamins and stuff well from like the plants that they that's the idea I don't know it's just like humans are developed to absorb the vitamins and the nutrients from meat much more efficiently than plants. Nice.

But, you know, it's all up for debate. And I'm just trying it for the month, and I like it. Yeah. You're fucking around a little bit, too. Appreciate you coming out, telling people where you're at. Yeah. I think that's powerful. Oh, thanks.

Yeah. Joe, what's your Beef of the Week? My Beef of the Week is with the city of Hermosa Beach, California. I feel like I'm not wanted there. I recently have been looking at new places to live, and I like that area. It's chill. Been looking at new places to live, and I like that area. It's chill.

I like the vibe, and they don't want me. So I don't want them. What happened? I don't know. No one's responding to my applications, and one guy told me on the phone we prefer someone that goes to work every day. So you know what? I don't need that uh people uh taking personal shots at me on the phone like that so um you know dude i had a similar experience i was looking at a place in manhattan beach and i called the landlord and he's very like dismissive of me

yeah i'm like yeah i have a pretty unconventional job. I boost Stoke. I didn't even tell him I boost Stoke. I was like, I have an unconventional job. And he's like, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, okay, okay, okay. And just the tone. Yeah. And I was like, dude, go fuck yourself. And he called me back, and I was like, I'm not even. So I know what you're talking about.

Maybe that's the canary in the coal mine maybe it's not that chill of a place to live maybe there's like a an underbelly of uh like pretension and kind of uppityness in that area in the south bay yeah maybe but I still want to live there you do you like it down there south bay hermosa it's a far commute I thought about it I was not that far I drove to redondoa it's a far commute i thought about it i was not that far i drove to redondo today that's pretty far redondo's yeah i was doing another podcast oh yeah how was craig's podcast it's fine he lives far he's almost at the peninsula like pale osvary hermosa damn hermosa is like 10 minutes up from that yeah they're, they're both really far. It's like 15 miles.

That's no big deal. Huh? But I don't have any leverage to move down there right now, so. Joe, I think, because apparently I don't go to work every day, as if I'm the one who's causing the global economic collapse. Exactly. No one's going to work. Yeah.

Barely anyone's able to go to work every day right now. Yeah, it's fine. I'm sorry, Doug. You'll get down there. Sounds like this guy's a buster, though, dude. You don't want this guy as a landlord. Yeah. Strider, what's your beef of the week? My beef of the week's with this, I don't know, I forget his name

because it was on Instagram, Chad. It's sort of a similar vein. And JT, you would know this more than anyone But I'm just cruising on my Instagram and then I see not even in my DMs just right out there Dude, and the guy had put a typo Stop ducking smacking your lips on the pod. I hate that shit. I'm from the East Coast Which made me laugh that he goes I'm from the East Coast. I'm like, I don't know dude like I Don't know first of all, maybe I do smack my lips a lot you edit the the pod so you know more than anyone so i've been trying to like chill but um i was like what dude first of all just dm me if you got a big issue just come you can

d i read my dms i respond pretty freaking well my engagements through the roof baby unless he's talking about this that's what i thought when I do that so I guess what buddy yes yeah that's what's up yeah I don't hear any yeah dude I'm course I'm gonna frickin swivel the lip on the under by you pronounce my VNF dude here's a VF for you fuck you dude nice nice to you but I don't know dude I kind of just chapped my butt for the day of course yeah you know yeah negative feedback like that is always i mean for human beings but maybe it's true am i smacking my lips too much have you guys noticed it i don't know i don't think i've noticed now and if you do i love it

because it's asmr for me oh thank you yeah someone you know what helps is just to picture him listen to him though yeah it's just a really am I doing it a lot? I know I have been backing off the mic a little bit. Picture the guy writing that on his phone like sitting there

just like that usually helps because you're like what a loser. Taking his time probably while he's driving because he made a typo. Oh he made a typo.

Dangerous putting someone else in danger too. Yeah. He's a villain. Yeah. My beef of the week is with Tom Rutledge. So I recently moved, and I got Spectrum streaming for my cable package. And I have been through so many fucking phone calls with customer service

trying to get this thing operational. And there's been so many freaking issues, dude. Like, I had to go get a cable card so I could get all the channels. I want, I know this is the first world problem. I'm sorry. This is just a problem I got. I had to go to, I had to go to the spectrum store with Joe and I'm like, Hey, do I need the cable card?

They're like, you don't need the cable card. You're fine. You're streaming. You're good. I go home and I start calling them. I'm like, I don't have the channels. They're like, um, well it says that your work order is incomplete. And then they're like, you do need the cable card.

So I go back to spectrum. I'm like, okay, give me the cable card. The cable card doesn't go into anything. I have this like metallic floppy disk that I just have to have physically. It has to say that they gave it to me, even though it has no technological purpose, just so I can have access to these other channels. Because it's some weird loophole in how they subscribe their stuff. And then yesterday, I go to watch the basketball game, and TNT's not working. I'm not getting the basketball game.

I was going to do chest press while I watched the game. I'd had a pretty busy day. I was looking forward to it. I have called them up. I got like five hours in the can already. And here's what my real beef is, is that when you call these places and you go to get mad, you realize you're not talking to a person who has any sort of hand in the cards you've been dealt like they're they're not the ones responsible for your shitty cable they're just a person in customer service who has to deal with

it so i come in the phone and i'm hot and i'm like i'm like hey i'm sick of this shit and then the person's like hey i'm really sorry sir and then i'm like dude i'm a fucking asshole man like i'm literally they have recordings of me saying this stuff where i'm like i'm sorry i came in hot like i'm just really frustrated then yesterday i call in because it's still not working they said it'd be rebooted in 24 hours. It wasn't. I called them back and I'm like, hey, and I was trying to make fun of myself. And I go, hey, the cable's not working. And I'm really, this is a really big freaking deal.

That's what I said. The lady is black. It's Martin Luther King Day. I'm like, what the fuck am I? I felt like such a fucking asshole. I was like, I'm so, I didn't bring up any of that stuff, but I just went like, you know what? I'm sorry.

It's not a big deal. We ended up having a really nice talk for 35 minutes and then you know the situation got rectified today so it's no big deal but so here's the thing I can't get mad at any of those people

I don't want to get mad at any of those people they're just doing their job but Tom Rutledge is the CEO of Spectrum and I will beat the shit out of you dude I saw you made nine and a half million dollars in 2018 you're not worth 10 cents of that bro if I see you I better not see you Rutledge

such a good call dude they put a buffer imagine rufflage rutledge he's a coward he's running he's like a chef who messes up your eggs then he sends out like the line boy yeah to go to go accept the the take the face the music or whoever it is yeah someone else yeah and you're like no dude fucking step up i ordered poached eggs and you gave me a damn hard-boiled egg. Let's talk about it. I want Rutledge on the horn. I want to talk to Rutledge. That name, too, it's like a perfect name for someone to be. It's a good name for a CEO.

Yeah, who are you going to beat up? Rutledge. Everyone's like, I get it. Yeah. I get it. And what's with their package deals, too? They're ridiculous. You want this package?

I want internet and cable, you fucking dickwad. And none of it works. It all breaks like 35 different ways. The internet's not connecting to this and nothing. You got to reboot the modem. Do you know what a router is? I don't know what any of this is. I don't know what any of it is. And they're wasting paper in the mail.

Oh, congratulations, you qualify for this. Oh, I qualified to give you more of my money for something I don't want? Yeah. They tried to loop me into a deal. They're like, we have a great deal for you. I'm like, what's the deal? They're like, we have a great deal for you. I'm like, what's the deal? They're like, you get $10 off a mainline phone. I'm like, who the fuck uses that?

Yeah, the fucking land. Yeah, when they were trying to sell me on the mainline phone, too, I was like, he's like, yeah, so it's $10 a month for the mainline phone. I'm like, why would I need that? He's like, I don't know. He got snippety with me. He's like, I don't know. In case there's an emergency, I'm like, don't I have a cell phone, bro?

He's like, I guess you do. Doesn't mainline go down first in the movies yeah but you know what again i'm not mad at the salesman because the salesman is just doing the mandate that's been handed down to him from rutledge yeah it's you rutledge heavy is the head that wears the crown all right most roman rulers died out in the battlefield they weren't sitting in their ivory castles giving orders to other men to die, alright? Put some skin in the game, you fucking bitch. Nice. Sorry. I love it. No, don't apologize. I love where you're coming from. I'm so pissed at rulers.

I was gonna watch Steph Curry vs. the Lakers and then all the guys are texting on the thread like, dude, Steph hit the game winner over AD. I'm like, dude. Oh, they won? Warriors won? There's something specific, too, about when you want to watch sports and you can't watch sports. Why? It's extra painful. Yeah.

I have a question, though. Yeah. Why are you getting the cable box? Because you can just stream it now. Oh. Yeah, I got the app. You don't need it. I don't have a cable box.

I have an Apple TV. I have all the apps. Oh, really? And my brother does YouTube TV. He gets all the channels through YouTube. Yeah, people do Hulu Live also. You can do, and you get all the cable that way. And you can organize your channels in the order you want. So my bro's got it where his lady has the first half of channels, and he's got the second

half of channels. Oh, whoa. Yeah. So you don't have to pay for cable? No, you pay for the channel still, but you just don't need the hardware. But I think there are some deals out there, yeah. Interesting. Cut the cord, baby.

Yeah. Chad, who's your babe of the week? My babe of the week is my ice bath. Ooh. I did a... I love it. So I got it ready to go on Thursday and it's running nice at a nice 33 degrees I've done it every day since it's been

going I did 3 minutes and 40 seconds today in the ice and I love it it's awesome that's all I got nice how long does it take to get down to temperature this you know what I put some I threw some ice in there I threw like

three packs of ice in there i threw like three packs of ice in there to jump start the water so overnight it was at like 40 and uh so the water started i think the water is probably around like 55 degrees 54 out of the hose and then put the ice in there jumped it down to like 45 i think total and it was quick i got to come over and try that thing yeah i'm excited there's still some little thing there's like a little leak i got fixed and then yeah but it's coming along you hit it like three times on one day didn't you i hit it twice when because miller came over and you guys did it together yeah but it's really tough in the morning i did this this afternoon. I was, like, warm already, so I could stay in there for a while.

But if you do it first thing in the morning, that's tough because your body's just fucking – your body's like, what, dude? Yeah, bro. And you're just, like, in your garage alone. And you're just like, what the fuck am I doing? But I love it. Joe, who's your babe of the week? It's my dad's new dog, Gabby. Dude, that's awesome.

She's got a puppy. Yeah, her name was Gabrielle, but he called her Gabby because she's not like a toddler in a beauty pageant. So I don't know. It's Gabrielle. It sounds like that. But yeah, she's a sweetheart. a beauty pageant. So, I don't know, it's Gabrielle, sounds like that. But, yeah, she's a sweetheart. She's really cute.

And she gives him something to do because he's alone in the house. So he's complaining now that she's too wild. I'm like, well, you know, at least you got some action on your hands here. You're not just sitting around watching TV, Dad. I mean, she'll be fine. She's a puppy, you're not just sitting around watching tv dad she i mean she's she'll be fine she's a puppy you know this trainer she'll be she's great so glad he has her what type of dog australian cattle mix love those dogs yeah yeah she's really cool i have a cattle dog nice smart yeah he says she's very affectionate and yeah so far so good she's a little wild yeah

i had an australian cattle dog named ringer i got him off a ranch hand who was going to shoot him because he couldn't afford to take care of him anymore and then uh brought him back to my place in california had my tonsils pulled out and he was a little crazy shit he'd like jump out like windows like even if they were like second story high he just had a wild heart and then he ran off and I couldn't call after him because my tonsils were gone because he was used to living on the ranch so those dogs you know are kind of roamers and and yeah he thought he had more acreage than he did and I lost him forever so oh really no it's funny as fuck that's what I told you guys never found

the dog my parents trying to be like Happy, you know, optimistic about it Were like, JT, he was such a cute dog You know somebody else saw him, picked him up And he's living a good life And I was like, yeah, you're right Wait, did you actually see him get out of Window and Bolt? I saw him run down the street

And I called everyone Oh, you really saw him running down the street? No tags He's just on Ortega Highway, dude No No Shit He's just on Ortega Highway, dude. Most fatalities in the state driving.

California, Ortega Highway. Really? My dad tried to teach me how to drive on that thing, dude. Not on Ortega heading towards the freeway. Sorry, guys. This is Super Inside Baseball. I know I'm not from South OC. But Ortega heading towards Temecula.

Yeah, the worst. That's it. Which is single lane road around mountains. Oh, okay. And it's just like, I don't know what my dad was doing throwing me into the deep end. He was like, hey, you're a white belt. Let's try and do some black belt shit. And he's like, put me in a freaking F-150 Ford Oranges. I was like, yeah, just handle this, bro.

Yeah. After two miles, he's like, pull the fucking car over. Yeah, dude. He broke me. He's like, you suck at driving. I was like, well, this fucking road's insane, dude. Yeah, no one drives that. Who's your baby of the week? Dude, my baby of the week's

gotta be my GF, dude. Dude, she's been drilling it, freaking. The other day I went golfing with the dudes, dude. I freaking come back, dude. She's just freaking chilling. I had a dank day, dude. She got all this work done. Dude, it was just nice, dude. We both had just our both too dank separate days together and just like, just fired up on that compatibility that we have you

know and i think in a relationship it's nice to have that you know truth to oneself and that she has it and that i can go golfing with the boys which is just like a basic self and you know she's probably playing piano and doing something dank i don't even understand and chilling with the dog dude and so we're just fired up on that dude just a nice little day dude so just gotta be my gf dude dude you set such a nice model for all of us dude love it thank you dude you look look I can only take half credit dude and honestly probably less than that it's all her dude oh man that's nice dude my babe of the week my babe of the week is a good stretch in the morning with the noise you know you come out of bed maybe sit on the week is a good stretch in the morning with the noise. You know, you come out of bed, maybe sit on the couch for a second,

and you just go, oh! And everything just loosens up, and you just feel like a kitty cat. But my favorite part's the noise that comes up. Wait, didn't your GF say that when I used to have to wake up when I was working locations, and I'd have to wake up, like, you know, those TV shoots, they start at like, I only did it for a couple minutes, but they start at like 4.30 in the morning,

and she'd hear me in the morning, just wake up and go oh yes yes just that's how i kind of wake up i let out a nice moan and i just get but it's so fun it just feels so good afterwards chad who's your legend uh my legend of the week is ted Lasso. Have you guys watched this? Great show. Just the pilot. I love it.

It's the best. Great character. My legend of the week is the character Ted Lasso. It's Jason Sudeik, his new show on Apple. And I love it. He's just such a fun, optimistic, good-hearted guy. And it's just very uplifting and fun to watch. And I really enjoyed it and

and just the way he tackles life i think is very inspiring and he's just like it's just nice watching a tv show about a good guy dude it was joyous i agree i loved it dude yeah loved it yeah and i was like i was like you don't really get that that often what's the name of the show ted lasso he's a he's a soccer coach and and you're just like, I love this guy. It's just like, it's great. And it's also nice to see Sue Dacus getting a W after the Le'Veon Wild Harry Styles fiasco. I was happy for him. I think I'm going to make him my Legend of the Week and amplify on that.

Yeah. Yeah. Because you're right. Yeah. It's tough yeah maybe should i just do it now then yeah my yeah my legend of the week and i'm gonna jump to it is jason sudeikis yeah because i don't know if you guys heard but chad mentioned it olivia wilde was directing her next film you know after the overrated book smart sorry i don't mean to give

her so much sad and then um she casted uh shia labeouf he dropped out harry styles replaces him and now Harry Styles has you know they said they started dating after her and Sudeikis broke up I'm sorry I'm not buying it I think Harry Styles

pulled the swoop and I used to kind of pick on I kind of didn't like that Sudeikis was with Olivia Wilde I was like he doesn't deserve her

he's like punching above his weight I was like he's not that great and now I'm like dude that should have been a win for all of us that Sudeikis was with Oliviaivia wilder now that he's not with her it revealed that to me and i was like i'm bummed out i like thinking that sudeikis could be with her yeah and he seems

really heartbroken about it and uh yeah and i guess my beef now i want to add a beef is with harry styles yeah you know yeah i know people say you can't blame the the person who's on the other like the the non-partner affair person. I don't know what you call them. But I do. I blame you a little bit, Stiles. And it's just crazy to me. Like, if I'm Sudeikis, I'm like, dude, if Shia just would have been in the movie, maybe I'm still married.

Yeah. Just because Harry Styles came in in the 11th hour changes my whole life forever. I don't know. Tough not to ruminate on that. Totally. Joe, who's your legend of the week? Totally. Joe, who's your Legend of the Week?

My Legend of the Week is all these older quarterbacks like Tom Brady, Aaron Rodgers, Drew Brees. Great legends. I mean, I'm not really fans of these guys, but I have to respect them. They're all older than me, and they've inspired me to still be athletic. Like, I started sprinting in the park now because i'm like you know if these guys are still doing it uh i mean aaron rogers is like a year older than me and i'm like you know we're almost like not that i'm anywhere near professional athlete level but i'm just saying thanks but i can still be physically fit and um you know it's inspiring to see that these uh these guys in their late 30s and early 40s are still doing it you know yeah that's it who you got in the super bowl who you got winning it

i don't know i mean i would really like to see the bills do it that'd be cool um i don't know i kind of feel like and i don't even want to say it maybe i'll'd be cool. I don't know. I kind of feel like, and I don't even want to say it, maybe I'll jinx them. No, I don't want to do that. Are we calling it then? We think it's going to be Packers-Bills in the Super Bowl, and we think the Bills are going to win? I think the Packers are going to win. Well, that's what I was going to say,

but I don't want to... I don't know. Packers, not at Lambeau. I still think their defense, they did shore up a few ends, but I still don't think their defense is that great. They're still a finesse team, dude. And Mahomes is going to play. Yeah, and if Mahomes plays, I mean, dude, they could very well beat the Bills. But I feel like they're just going to pin their ears back on defense

and just look to hit him fast and often. Bills, I think, have the best defense left. Bucks defense, I think, is okay, but like all the defenses left, I think the Bills. They're the worst team, the Bucs. I really don't want them to make it. Yeah, the Bears beat them. Yeah, I'm not.

Thanks. They got a lot of weapons, but I don't know. Numbers don't look good on Brady, but he's obviously Tom Brady. Yep, because that's the thing. Good legend, so respect to all those old fucks. Yeah, yeah. Got to hand it to them. Who's your legend, Strides?

My legend of the week's gotta be my hybrid engine dude i'm just loving this thing dude i'm just it's practical dude i'm getting around it's a sipper of fuel dude i've had this vehicle for a month now now i filled up the tank once dude it's silent just i'm loving it dude you know i'm just loving this thing dude ford escape hybrid just really you know there's a free endorsement for you for you're welcome and but dude i'm just loving it man i'm loving a practical ride nice basically a raised high raised prius is what i have i love the black rims on it too thank you you. I took that. Chad inspired me on that. Oh, nice. It's a no-brainer, dude.

My car's like a blend between your two cars. It looks like a Porsche. It does. It does kind of, right? Yeah. But I'm glad it's not. It's like, oh, this guy's sleek. And it's a Ford?

He's built Ford tough. It does look sleek. I honestly thought when you were pulling in, I thought it was one of those Porsche SUVs did you really yeah dude that's sick yeah I could see I could see you driving that

and wearing no noise I mean I think the vest is perfect look for it I think that might be why I have it yeah oh yeah I get out of that thing

in a vest are you kidding me yeah cause it's like I could see you in like a come out of it in like a tan tweed suit, you know?

Not too show-offy, but you know that this guy has cojones. It's sophistication. Hand the valet a five. Nothing too showy, but something that lets him know I appreciate the effort. Tell him the keys are already in the car and it's running. What do you do with your mouth after you do that? Oh, you know what I do? I look at my nuggle like this. That's right, dude.

To at whatever your thing was on Instagram. Chad, what's your quote of the week? My quote of the week comes from our accountant, Michelle. One of the greatest human beings who has ever lived. Incredible. Michelle, thank you so much for everything. You are the freaking greatest. She goes, money is fungible, my friend.

Nice. Whoa. You know I'm a money guy. I'm always thinking about money. Of course. Invested in Tommy Bahama. Money is fungible. Fungible?

Fungible. What does that mean? I think it's like, can't be replaced. I actually looked up fungible what does that mean i think it's like uh can be replaced i actually looked up fungible actually she told me that was like nice word what does that mean it's a great word i think it's replaceable yeah in terms of like when you're thinking about like um when you're thinking about able to replace or be replaced by another identical item. So tax write-offs, essentially. Right.

I think that's what she's basically referring to. Joe, you got a quote of the week? Yeah, it's from Mark Twain. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything. I like that. That is good. People have been telling me I should lie more. No, I don't have to remember anything like that that's good people have been telling me i should lie more no i don't i don't like lying um especially in the finding a place process people say you gotta lie

no i'm not gonna lie this is who i am i don't go to work give me the place i love it respect i'm not a lie you know why you should give me the place. I love it. Respect. I'm not a liar. You know why you should give me the place? I'm not a liar. I'll tell you the truth. I will pay rent. I have good credit. That's like in the NFL draft when a player will be honest.

They're like, hey, have you ever done drugs? And the guy's like, yeah. And then people are like, oh, is he going to slide down the draft boards? I'm like, why would you? I trust the guy who admits that he did drugs. It'd be the other dudes I'm worried about. Yep. Yeah, trust me.

You have never done anything. Come on, dude. You're a first rounder. Lottery pick. All right. Strider, you have a quote of the week? The quote of the week is from MLK, dude. Put this up on the History is Dank post, dude.

It's, life's most persistent and urgent question is, what are you doing for others? Be a good dude, you know? Get back, man. Be part of, be part of, be part of society, man. You know, and it gets you out of your own shit, too. And I also love, one of my favorite quotes of his is, it's never too late to do the right thing. If you're fucking up, don't get down on yourself. Don't go 12 rounds.

Don't knock yourself out. It's never too late to do the right thing. If you're fucking up, don't get down on yourself. Don't go 12 rounds. Don't knock yourself out. It's never too late to turn it around. If you ever find yourself in the rat race of trying to beat everyone, get ahead, just think, how can I serve? So true. How can I serve? That'll

put your stoke in the right place. I was trying to help out with an organization that helps the homeless. They're socialists. put your stoke in the right place. I was trying to help out with an organization that helps the homeless and they're, they're a socialist. And so I, they, they,

I didn't, wasn't going to mention that I'm more centrist and probably think capitalism is the best way to go, although I'm no economic expert, but that's just what I believe maybe because of how I've been conditioned and what my life's given me. But that's just what I think. But then I get on the horn and the lady's like trying to figure out what's

the best use of me within the organization who I totally respect. And then she was like, but what did she, she could kind of sense some hesitation from me because I didn't want to do the more protest oriented stuff. And she was like, OK, so what are your politics? And then we got into it. And then she just flat out told me, she's like, look, I don't think you're a bad person. I just think you're ignorant, which cracked me up. Yeah. But then our Marine buddy, Jeff Carasalis, called me later.

And he was like, he called me ignorant, too. But he said ignorant in a different way. He's like, you're ignorant, dude. You don't know how guns work. You don't know how tires work. And it cracked me up too. I think they're both right. I like being called ignorant. It kind of makes me like, I'll be like, you know what? I'll convince this person I'm still pretty

cool even though they think I'm ignorant. And you're probably talking to two people who are like very proactive on both sides of the spectrum. It was nice to get hammered from both sides. and they're harder on both sides and you're in the middle so it's like of course they're going to come but i still want to hang out with both those extremists because i think there's a lot of integrity in that too you know what i mean not extremists but you know just people who are more extreme than me yeah and i should hope uh my quote of the week is from this book i'm reading called conversations with friends it's by

sally rooney who's like under 30 and has written two like monster novels which is pretty incredible monster in terms of like how good they are they're not that long um and she also wrote normal people which was on hulu which i liked the first few episodes but then it just got too sad and thought they just should have been together because they were the only two decent people in the universe of the show but uh and this this is starting to get into that sadness territory too and she's also very like hard on people who have like kinky raunchy sex and i'm one of those people so it kind of makes me feel bad about it when i don't think it's that bad of a thing if you know it's fun but this paragraph really got me i try to start writing again but everything i produce so the

protagonist is really obsessed with this guy she's having an affair with i try to start writing again but everything i produced was full of bitterness that made me ashamed some of it i deleted some i hid in folders i never looked inside. I was taking things too seriously again. I fixated on perceived wrongs Nick had done to me, callous things he had said or implied, so that I could hate him and therefore justify the intensity of my feelings for him as pure hatred.

But I recognized that the only thing he had done to me, that he had done to hurt me, was to withdraw his affection, which he had every right to do. In every other way, he had been courteous and thoughtful. At times I thought this was the worst misery I had experienced in my life, but it was also a very shallow misery, which at any time could have been relieved completely by a word from him and transformed into idiotic happiness.

Yeah. It's just like what it feels like when you're crushing on somebody. Yeah. Chad, what's your phrase of the week for getting after? It's just what it feels like. It's true. Phrase for getting after it, um, let's milk this cow. Can you do milk?

You can do milk. You can? Animal based. Nice. Ooh. But, you know, you want to go for raw milk which is illegal in most states is it really yeah

interesting you know big dairy gut because they're like some of the bacteria can be harmful to you or can make you sick

but my brother and I got raw milk in Idaho felt great would you guys just sneak into a farm and grab some udders we would have dude but they sell

they sell raw milk in idaho it's legal there yeah they know what they're doing with their milk what movie is it where they're like hey man we went out milk that cow we don't have any cows here we just have bulls kingpin took him a while to get going but once he got started man uh joe what's your phrase that we forget after it uh get the laundry done you know let's go let's you love that's more of a a note to myself yeah that's what people say because i always say i'm gonna do it and i don't do it you don't people think i do it every day i put it off i don't do it i'm lying no i shouldn't say i'm not lying i think I do it every day. I put it off. I don't do it. I'm lying. No, I shouldn't say it.

I'm not lying. I want to do it, but then, you know, you get tired and you have to walk into the garage. It's a whole thing. Yeah, you don't lie. Yeah, I don't lie. I get lazy with it. But, yeah, let's get the laundry done. Fresh clothes cycle.

Let's go. It done. Fresh clothes cycle. Let's go. It'll make you feel good. Strider, what's your phrase that we forget after it? Excellent. You know who that is? That's Steven. Character name from a little movie called Braveheart. The guy who goes, it's my island.

I'm not on. But of course, I'm not on on. My island. After he saves freaking William Wallace from being assassinated, whips the knife out, just continues walking, dude. Badass, dude. And then he goes, excellent. I'll do his first line after he kills the guy. So,

Willie Wallace thinks that... Willie Wallace turns to kill him because he thinks he's killing him, but he's actually killing the assassin. He's coming to get Willie Wallace. And then he goes, I never trusted him. He wasn't right in the head. The best. But he's more nuts than anybody.

And then there's another one where there's like the archery arrows, the British arrows are coming down on all the Scotsmen. And like one just comes really close to Wallace's head. And he goes, gets really close to him and he goes, I talked to God. He says, I'm all right, but he's pretty sure you're fucked. All right. Dude. Aaron, do you want to end it with a, do you have any capstone? gets really close and he goes I talked to God he says I'm alright but he's pretty sure you're fucked alright dude Aaron do you want to end it with a

do you have any capstone you could put on this pod capstone just you know get your five guys merch at fiveguys.com oh dude

fuck dude Aaron dude come on dude we feel that shirt. I mean, that is buttery soft. That is a nice shirt. It's nice, dude.

Thank you for this, dude. Dude, I doubt this would even get any, like a special sauce stain from In-N-Out would come out of this so easily, dude. Yeah. So I want to come up with a pun. What should we have? Five guys and...

We'll get it next time. Looks like you already got one. You're already wearing it Same shirt Good night guys Cinco de going deep Ah I like that Five guys in the stove

Alright Write a review for us That'd be sweet Thanks guys If you need advice Thanks guys We've got you. Such a half-hearted side. I'm going deep. I'm going deep. Let's get deep. I'm going deep.

I'm getting deep.