Going Deep with Chad and JT - EP 197- Trevor Wallace and Michael Blaustein

Episode Date: July 29, 2021

This week the Stiff Socks guys, Trevor Wallace and Michael Blaustein, come through. It's a rollicking high energy convo that was super fun to record. Sign up for new merch here: http://www.shopcgd.com​​​​​​​​​​ Sponsored by Manscaped: Get 20% Off and Free Shipping with the code GODEEP20 at Manscaped.com. If you wanna trim your pubes during a contagion

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off plus free shipping with the code GODEEP20 at Manscaped.com. Other guests would be cool coming in person. You guys are pussies. But the numbers, dude, I was so afraid. Well, you got it though, right? I did. You got COVID?

Right. That's the only time that we did it. Yeah, we did it for two weeks. And the second I was negative, I was like, we're back. Dude, I was so afraid of getting it that Chad was like, hey, we got to start doing them in person again. I was like, fuck, dude. So I went to Home Depot and I bought, what did I buy? What do they call it?

Plexiglass. And I like stacked them up, like thinking it would protect me and all the... I understand that. Yeah. Oh, hilarious. They would balance against each other. It's very janky. Yeah. I think I...

Did you set that up in the old... ATC, yeah. I've never seen that. And people would be like, are you serious about this? Do you really think it's going to help? I was like, I'm dead serious, dude. Oh yeah. Yeah.

I was like, this is saving lives. You're a big... Now there's a trend here, right? You're a big... Oh, we are. No, we'll use it yeah okay we're my only guy wearing headphones yeah i'm the headphone guy oh we're all in are you a headphone guy i've never been before but now i am oh i hate headphones with a passion i'm a big headphone guy

i love i like it oh really i love hearing i think the closer we can sit with headphones the funnier it visually is like when people sit like face-face and they have headphones on, that's podcasting. That's 2021 right there. I can't quite hear you well enough. I just want to have ASMR sex with my wife while having headphones on. You know the Leonardo DiCaprio rumor, right?

The rumor about Leonardo DiCaprio is the way he has sex is it's only doggy style. And he wears noise-canceling headphones while he hits a vape. Are you serious? he uh it's only it's only doggy style and he wears and he wears noise canceling headphones while he hits a vape are you serious that's how i pictured like that's what people say it's true no this is what people say i've heard it's true i love how you guys are like this is true how do you know no i'm saying multiple sources there's a lot of sexual urban myths or legends around different celebrities but this one is

What I'm confused about is the noise canceling headphones the doggy style to me makes sense Okay, you like you just want to look at yourself or a very self-involved move, whatever But the noise coming in. I don't know what would why why do we what's that? I would love to know what he's listening to or if it's just literally I mean isn't that the thing about fetish? Someone else's fetish never makes sense to you. It only makes sense to the person who has it. But I'm even trying to figure out what that would be. I'm not even knocking it.

I'm just trying to figure out where that even comes from. I think you've got to try it, dog. Yeah, I want to try it, but it's a hard sell for the girlfriend if you just go dog style and put on headphones. She's like, what the fuck are you listening to? You're like, Arctic Monkeys? yeah right you listen to just like you know what

maybe it's have you any what the fuck yeah maybe it's evolved he doesn't like the sound of flesh and maybe he's just putting on till i collapse okay that's a good song yeah or lose yourself when they hear uh people maybe he gets nervous maybe that's it maybe he freaks out when he hears like skin on skin fucking he's like i can't it makes me doggy style just sounds like a round of applause it's just like maybe he hates that you just imagine he's at like the orchestra everybody starts clapping but shut the fuck up yeah right yeah not the way i do it either i don't i don't like not the way i know you i don't like doggy i'm big on doggy that's why this leo story fascinates me. I'm like. Trevor's very into doggy.

I don't like. I like missionary. I like eye contact and kisses. Missionary. Okay. I feel like you're a missionary guy too. I'm a missionary guy. Aaron's missionary. This is missionary couch over here, right?

This is the. Reverse cowgirl. I like it. Huh? But he likes to be the one sitting up. Yeah. Wait, hold on. Yeah.

The stick shift, as they call it. The dick shift. Yeah, it's the inverted missionary. What in the ride story? Because it's a good tricep workout. Okay, I'm in. Second of all. Wait, so what do you do?

What do I like? I like to mix it up. I like to start with missionary. I love that you didn't say a sexual position. You're just like, I like lacrosse. I'm like, what? Yeah, then finish with doggy. Finish with doggy.

I like to know how you finish. That's nice. Thank you know how you finish that's nice thank you do you think that leo's story is almost the way the reason it circulates so well is because we all just want to believe that he's in such a yes like a rare rarefied air that you can have sex however he wants no matter what the other person might think about it or something because in my head when when a hollywood rumor comes about it's it's made up it's okay we're not podcasting it's be loud um people love that no they don't they know they love it put a goddamn sweet potato down they love it dude they don't they love it bro they love that sound i love you man they know we're partying um what what i was saying was i just i i think they're all made up and i love

the fact or i love the idea of someone coming up with that and then it kind of like you say whatever it's like a game of telephone exactly what if you just found out you just love missionary just like very standard guy yeah that would be really encouraging that would i think right like disillusion people in a good way where they'd be like oh what am i even chasing like at the end of the day it's like the normal is the best well that was like when i walked in uh at your apartment down the street and the street and they had the thing to block the door. I was like, oh, dude, JT's like a big dude. So like that gave me more confidence to be like, oh, like I'm not a little bitch. Yeah, because you have a thing that like you put on your door in your apartment to like secure it, like extra secure.

It blocks people from being able to open the door. Was that always a thing you had? I've been afraid at night forever. I slept in my brother's bed until I was 14. There you go. He's so funny, but he's too, because he said one night without much talk about it, I just went, hey bro,

I'm just gonna go sleep in my bed tonight. And that was the end of it. That was the end, wow. Kind of a sad moment. What age was that? I was like 13 or 14. And how old was he? He was 12, he's my younger brother.

Wow, that makes it way worse. Yeah. But he never made a big deal, but he was always really chill. Well, because he was younger brother, he didn't really have a say in it. Did you come in like sort of demand it? That is funny as an older brother. That's what I'm saying, yeah, yeah, yeah. Hey, nerd, I'm sleeping in your bed, bitch.

That probably was a part of it, and maybe I got like that. But we have pretty good communication. I hear him out. And we were always kind of, he was always like the smarter and more well-adjusted one. So I kind of looked up to him. I think if he would have told me, I think he just wanted to take care of me. That's an interesting dynamic.

I know a couple families that are like that where their older brother is sort of looked at as the younger brother. And not even like a bad way. It's just kind of the roles are like a little bit reversed. Yeah, my parents just had to allocate way more time to making sure I was okay than they did to him So I think there was always a kind of idea

That he was the More mature one Like autopilot He was just on I don't know what the fuck's going on Do you have siblings? Yeah I have six What? Hey pull out

My dad's got strong jizz He's got Morpheus jizz. Oh, wow. Oh, he's a doctor? He's a potent man. He's a doctor of fucking. Let's go. Jesus.

So my mom had five kids. I'm the fifth. Then my dad remarried, had two more daughters. Dang. I still feel like the baby. Of course. Yeah. Yeah.

So are your old, I'm sure you've hashed this out a million times, but I don't know. Are all your older brothers killing it? In my. Are all your older brothers like killing it? That's in my head, all your older brothers are killing it. Is that, is that wrong? Yeah, I'd say so.

That's so, I just knew it. I don't know why. Yeah. They, what are they? They just like own equity in like mobile or something. Yeah.

They just own cinnamon. What age? What is mobile? What is mobile? Gas station. Oh, no. Gas guys. Anything mobile, any car.

That's what I thought you meant. Well, one is in finance and private equity. There you go. So you're close. Yeah. Okay. Finance and private equity? That's Bill, right?

That's Bill. I was right. Can I keep guessing? I guarantee another one is a physical therapist. All right. But he's into his body a lot. He's into his body, yeah. He is into fitness a lot.

Am I a psychic? Yeah. Maybe. Hold on. Let me keep going. Are they's into his body, yeah. He is into fitness a lot. Am I a psychic? Maybe. Hold on, let me keep going. Are they all guys? No, no, two older sisters. Okay, two older sisters. Did you sleep in their beds?

Nope. Once or twice. Okay, okay, here we go, here we go. We got it, we got it. Full circle, full circle. Come on, come on, come on. There's one that's a chef and wrote a cookbook, and it's doing really well.

Fuck! It was so clear in my brain. Sorry, I'll let you talk. The other brother? Yes, sir. He's working on barges. I don't even know what the fuck it is. So he's managing...

Boat shit. He's managing oil barges. Okay, so he's poor. So he's poor. What's the other one? He's an oil man. Oil? I want to see you guys' Christmas card.

I feel like you guys had a great Christmas card. We did have a good Christmas card, yeah. How many golden retrievers? Two? One. One golden retriever? Yeah. See, I'm a fucking psychic too.

You are a psychic. I have headphones on. I would just like to say that your lovely producer called it. I said oil. Barges. Oh, mobile. Yeah. Mobile.

Mobile. And you said equity. And I said equity. And you said brother. Guys, I'm Noshadges. Oh, mobile. Mobile. Mobile. And you said equity. And I said equity. And you said brother. Guys, I'm Noshadamus. What's up? Let's go, dude. Let's go. Damn.

Dude, thank you for understanding me on such a deep level. Dude, ask me anything, man. Favorite number? 13. Nah. Damn it! I'm superstitious. Oh.

Dude, I was on an airline the other day. They didn't have an aisle 13. I thought I was just like oh yeah dude i thought i was just like a little like a little higher song but it was like 12 to 14 isn't that funny with like floors in a hotel yeah we don't have a floor 13 i'm like but you do have a floor 13 yeah technically aisle 14 just being all spooky without even knowing it right exactly i got put on floor 13 one time i was pissed were you i don't know i was like what the fuck i don't believe in that stuff, but I definitely believe in ghosts a lot, and I believe in the devil a lot.

You do. You believe in the devil? Oh, buddy. But if you believe in that, and you're on the 13th floor, and you hear something, and fucking, do you think that's the devil or a ghost? Is it the floor that's haunted, or your brain? It's never the floor. It's never that superstitious stuff.

I do believe heavily in karma, and I do believe, you and very similar we're like yeah if we wear uh oh yeah this question if you wear an outfit on stage and you're set you weren't happy with it whether you know it just wasn't your best set or you were all over the place do you do you be like i'm never wearing that outfit on stage again are you just like oh that was just the crowd that was just me i can only get better type thing like do you ever did you get superstitious about outfits? I know I've never thought about Letting war shirt that I got from a company and I bombed dicks in it and threw the shirt away Instead of just looking internally at me and be like hey Trevor. Maybe you could just write more. Yeah, rehearse a little more

Go be such more. I'm like this stupid fucking shirt. Yeah, you know baseball players are like that I'm gonna show you a baseball t-shirt. Where's like whoa for real it was a three four sleep well we got crazy synergy right yeah things are connecting on it are we on the 13th floor right now yes yep dude i'm a ghost whoa i'm also my dog what's up you were born in the 13th of Of what month? So you've had Friday the 13th? Oh, you've been spooky as months, dude. You turned 13 on Friday the 13th? Wow.

Hold on. I don't like this. Hold on. Are you Leonardo DiCaprio? What's going on? Dude, put on some headphones and fuck me doggy style, bro. Damn.

No, let's do that for real. I want to watch that. Let's do that. That's very exciting. Just cut to that in the pocket make sure you watch the youtube simple safe we're brought to you by class pass um i uh i do think about rituals before. Not rituals, but if I was vaping before and have a bad set, I'd be like, oh, I vaped too much. Or I drank too much caffeine. Stuff like that.

I recently saw you at a show in San Diego. And we were talking outside and you're like, I'm going to go vape in the car. And I was like, ha, funny. And then you just disappeared. And then you came back like an hour later, like very just chilled out. And I was like, you're definitely vaping in the car. Yeah, I like to vape in the car and watch YouTube videos. You're a legend, dude.

That's like every 13 year old is like, that's the American dream right there. Fuck a white picket fence and a golden retriever. I just want to vape in my goddamn Fiat, you idiots. Hold on, let me ask you. So is that like a before every set thing? Or if you have a lot of amount of time, you can do that to relax? Just some alone time. No, I have sort of like an on-off relationship with vaping and i have a very addictive personality so when i do it i do it you know yeah uh so that was a moment when i was like

getting back into vaping so i was really just fiending for it you don't strike me as someone who uh who has an addictive personality yeah i just uh you know i don't know i just like getting pumped up i'm trying to write a joke about it you know it's because i feel like a lot of people they they like have addictive person or they like get addicted to stuff because they're trying to numb the pain but i kind of get so stoked you know that i'm just like you know what really maximize this is like four espressos oh we're very similar in that like i'm a i'm a caffeine stupid idiot yeah i go it's it's it's too much yeah um yeah yeah like i can't perform unless i drink coffee beforehand really if i don't i just like i still can but it's like you feel like i was like i could have been at another

level because that's like the mario star where you're like yeah you're fucking you're like i feel like when you drink a lot of coffee you're just like jitter you're on every move that way if somebody like sneezes too loud you're like fucking somebody like you're like i feel like when you drink a lot of coffee you're just like jitter you're on every move that way if somebody like sneezes too loud you're like fucking bazaar somebody like you're like kind of ready and you just i feel like i'm just like more like zoned out and quicker you're more alert yeah exactly oh yeah and dude i think it's just i don't know i was in vegas this weekend every guy i was talking to was talking about they're like i always feel like i'm doing too much of this or too much of that like but not even like bad stuff like drinking coffee or like i know decompressing at the end of the night with wine or something but i just think there's

something in all of us like we just want to tinker like that takes a lot of our brain space it's just been like let me just mess with this let me see if I can fix this out a little bit yeah and I just and I think we get really hard on ourselves about it but I think it's just what else are you gonna do you're just gonna tinker yeah what are you gonna just be happy with yourself what are you a loser that's not gonna happen that's not gonna happen what are we just gonna have like peaceful meditate no yeah i do that too but then you gotta get the other side but then you're done meditating you yell at yourself because you didn't do it well and then you go exactly you know what i mean when's the last time you're like oh that was good here's the thing dude i think if you ever settled

down and you go wow dude that was really good and i'm very peaceful you become so unfunny it's crazy what do you mean right i just feel you settle down and like relax just like you need some anxiety in your life yes i think you do need someone's guy i also think you do need some uh like you need to yell at yourself like i don't think it's it's helpful it's helpful to be like man that was that was a good set i'm happy with this but more more so i need to work on this right you can self i think you just need to self-evaluate on, you need to critique more than you go, great job, Michael. Oh right, well if 20 minutes was great, but two minutes were a little soft,

you're like, I'm fucking trash. You yell at yourself for those two minutes. That makes sense. Yeah, I don't ever think, and I'm sure there's people that can be like, no man, I'm very nice to myself, and I still work hard, blah, blah, blah. But I operate way more, and I think you guys do,

if you're like, no dude, that two minutes on my set sucked, and I'm awful, and then you go in your car and vape until you vomit, and you write more. Yeah. And I think the crucial part is just laughing at yourself when you're yelling at yourself too, like not taking it too much to heart and being like, I'm a piece of shit, but just being like,

you're a piece of shit, and then being like, yeah, I'm a piece of shit. Yeah, I don't have that part. Kind of having fun with it. Yeah, I think we're on the same page where we're like you know i don't feel better until i do it better so maybe the next day i do that joke again i'm like okay saturday early show was a little soft all right late show let's get them right right you know so that's when it's a little i think that's why at mike's you'd see a lot of people who didn't really move up because they got off stage and you're like fucking crushed i i don't know if i've done

very well and at most in my head been like yeah that was cool yeah but i don't think i've ever been like i fucking murdered but they but they they don't really they don't really do well they're like they don't really do well ever yeah and you're like dude how you doing he's like i mean you know me man just crushing every show he drove me home one time and he was just like bro i was smashing. Just a material, just smashing. I was like, I don't think, I don't think you're that good. I'm not that good either.

But I was like, I was like, but it made me like him more. I was like, I want to spend more time with you. Right. Because I appreciate that you get to live in that kind of, uh, I definitely know people like that. I can't wait till we're off this. Then we can, you can tell me what the name of that person is. Cause I have some in my head where I'm just like every time they're just like,

they're just doing like a normal set, you know? And they're like, bro, standing. Oh, applause break. Here's the thing,

man. There's part of me. 100%. That's like jealous of that. Like calm. And, and here's the thing. Like I'm jealous of that.

If they actually believe that, I think more often than not, they don't believe that. I think more often than not, they're like, dude, more often than not they're like dude crush it and they go home and they think about taking 19 pills and jump off a bridge yes i think in their head they're like i am very good at this because if you think you're really good then you're not going to improve it you're not like like the you the more the hardest i ever work on jokes when i don't do well correct yeah yeah so if they're in their head they're like dude i fucking crush like what what are you

gonna change you know what's so funny is even and and Trev, I think you're like this too, man. Even when we quote unquote crush and it's like wall to wall, 45 minutes of just murdering, I get off stage and I go, well, I didn't get better. I didn't get better. I didn't do this new joke. That new tag didn't work. Even if it's wall to wall murdering, like, yeah, but I didn't do this new stuff that I wanted to do. There's always a critique.

And I feel like it has to be like that. yeah barry bonds he'd go one for three with a homer and they'd be like what a bomb you hit he'd be like yeah but i struck out on those other yeah until until they stopped playing that's a good mentality it's not healthy but that's a good that's how you know you're like what's healthy right like people focus so much on health if somebody's too happy we're like that guy's not healthy and then the healthy guy looks at us and goes well those guys aren't healthy right they're like he wasn't healthy i was like well he was steve jobs though i'm like yeah it might have been worth it to be a little bit kooky yeah i just i i don't i don't know but i think there is a healthy balance i haven't found it yet but there's got to be a balance a healthy balance of

like self-critiquing but not to a point where it like diminishes your value of life because that's what i did so much when i was young and stand or younger and stand up was like i would go i would do it i walk around the block in new york and just fucking yell at myself i'm the worst blah blah you just blend right in in new york yeah everyone else the homeless guys around the east village everyone's like god the homeless are really getting crazy there's a bunch of people who bombed that night I wouldn't be surprised there was so many comic books

my casey D had been trying to count they're like mama me too but so that's too much right but there's also a part where it's too much

where you're like I'm the best I'm the best there has to be a happy medium that even if you yell at yourself it's not to a point of like devaluing

yourself exactly and I do you have examples of that like people who do it right that even if you yell at yourself it's not to a point of like devaluing yourself yeah exactly and i do you have examples of that like people who do it right um i i i don't know man because i think it's very internal you know who has a good mindset like chris estrada sometimes i'll run into someone i'll talk to them like yeah yeah he has like i talked to him for like 10 minutes i was like dude you got like a good mindset yeah some people have it but he might have a good mindset in that moment like you might just have a good night that's what i'm saying i was also on mushrooms when i talked to him well there you go you probably actually

wasn't talking to a surfboard probably he was just like yeah that was like what what made you think you have the perspective that's a good question i guess i think he's very just like he's always just the same dude yeah he's just like uh i think he's very process oriented which is probably the common denominator with a lot of people who have a healthy mindset is that they don't go too up they don't go too down yeah they're kind of just like not yeah just a little bit meticulous and also kind of just like taking it bit by bit it's like they get crushed or they can bomb but it's like the same yeah they're like feeling they're not like before they went on stage right if they bomb they're not like oh these jokes all suck i'm a piece of shit and if they crush they're more just like oh i think there's a moment here that

i could tweak a little which is kind of the same thing we're saying i guess it's just the volume that you're speaking to yourself in i think a lot of it is to having that inner critic and just really being you know on top of it at all times and trying to always progress but also just enjoying the process to enjoying the process you know the enjoying the process like having fun i think i think like that over encompass all of it it's just having fun is which is hard to do but i think that makes a huge the shows i feel like i have the most fun on are the ones you don't expect they're gonna be fun right they just like a random one that's like on top of an apartment y'all guys are gonna suck dick and you get there it was fucking great right yeah yeah and like i i mean trevor and i've had a million conversations about this but the the

having fun thing was a big turning point for me and i would literally say it to myself and and sometimes i still do it might just be yeah and where were we des moines des moines yeah shows in des moines ireland for whatever reason just like the vibe was there it was like well it was weird it's like one of the shows was like absolutely fire and then the show after they were just like very like mellow people and we're like what do you mean like we just we just saw the homies in the earlier show fucking turn it up a notch so the next night we're like it's hard when you know what the room is capable of and then you do the exact same shit to a different crowd and they don't respond as well yeah and then you're

like then we were in our heads because we're like what the fuck like these jokes should be working and then it was like the very last show of the weekend and the saturday early was like very like mellow and we're just like all right well and then before the last show like all right let's just have fun and it's a great show yeah right i think you kind of have to accept them for who they are a little bit yeah or where they're at but that like what i was getting at was like that that uh idea of just just having fun is so hard to really it's so it's such a weird like abstract thought but i think once you like narrow it down understand what that thought means and know how to like act on it that's when you hit a new level and it doesn't even have to be standard but it just literally just be life you're like dude i'm gonna i'm gonna

go into my job whatever i'm just gonna have a good time i feel like that puts you more in the flow state totally if you're like i'm gonna work hard like I call it like squeezing the bat too hard. It's like I'm gonna fucking I said all time squeezing it Too tight. Yeah. Yeah, like in golf when you like I'm a fucking crushes that always slice it or hookers even miss the ball Yeah, yes. Don't get off. Yeah, and it's like it's like we're comedians, you know, it's true It's so easy to forget that so we're doing comedy Yeah, you know we're gone stage and telling jokes and but then you know people meet you they're like man you just just have like the best life just and i do you know it's a very blessed life but it's like they don't i don't think they see how hard we are on ourselves 100 but yeah

it's so like inside baseball for us we're just talking every terms and like everything we do and then you talk to somebody in the audience and they're like, I love Kevin Hart. And you're like, Oh, we are like, you don't like, I am just stressing myself out.

And this person is just like, all I care about is Kevin Hart and Seinfeld. And you're like, okay. Like they're just so like removed from what our heads are like burrowed into this comedy world. Yeah. And it's also,

they're so removed from like what our expectations are. So it's like we had, and there was, you know, there was two shows in when we were in Iowa, right. That we were like, it's like we had and there was you know there was two shows and when we were in iowa right that we were like oh like we didn't have fun it was fine and we were used to a level they didn't give it to us right but there were so many of those people that came up to us was like yo it's the best show of my life i've never been to a comedy show and that was so funny but it's like but they they don't understand our expectations right um and i don't know how to like diffuse that, but it's just an interesting thing to where it's like,

we get off stage, we're like, fuck, I'm so bad, blah, blah, blah, whatever. And then they come to you 15 minutes later to meet and greet like, we love the show so much. So it's like,

they, you know, I think there's a lesson there. Well, yeah. And I mean, look at us. We're like a murderer's row of like privilege. Like I said, I think when people, when people,

I think when people come up to us and they're like, man, how are you feeling? I think they people, when people, I think when people come up to us and they're like, man, how you feeling? I think they're, they're kind of right to have the expectation that we won't say something like, dude, I'm actually pretty neurotic and bummed out. I think when they come up to us, they're like, you should probably be enjoying this bro.

Yeah, cool, cool, so can I take a photo? Yeah, exactly. Bummed out is so fun, dude, how are you? Ah, bummed out bro. Yeah, you can could you can reel them out too much where they're like yeah that wasn't the vibe i was looking for yeah like open up that's like when somebody's like how you doing and you just do that there's kind of tiktok that goes around asking people are you happy and i and i keep thinking about what i would say if that guy

came up to me yeah because i'm like dude depends on the day but i'm like shut up trevor yeah depends on the day what is it no i'm gonna leap here just say you're good i like this question though are you happy are you happy it's a great question yeah we'll start we'll start with you i'm dead serious oh we're gonna do it yeah i don't know i don't know yeah fuck yeah i had an emotional weekend but did you what'd you do can we dig into it i had an emotional weekend too uh oh you did yeah i went to to Palm Desert And microdosed for the first time Oh nice Oh really?

Hold on Yeah We gotta go bit by bit Yeah yeah yeah Yeah Chad had a big weekend Yeah What'd you say?

Well maybe you should go microdosed In Palm Springs It was all in my head Okay I've been withdrawing From nicotine Yeah yeah yeah I went through a breakup

Three months Three months I put it down I put it down Went through a breakup To go on Went through a breakup as three months three months i put it down i went through a breakup like three months ago right like being a bad friend and i thought for some reason it hit me like the hardest over this weekend yeah it's always the weekends like three months later yeah and i was like i was dude i was going to a date i was like about to cry oh no yeah i don't know i think it's just withdrawing from nicotine like really amplified all my can i ask you because i don't obviously don't i didn't i'm sorry i didn't i didn't talk

to you about this break how how did it was it like it's like it was pretty mutual it was mutual okay yeah it was like a very you know peaceful breakup but maybe that maybe that was like it was just sort of like hitting me now i don't know i think that is like guys it always hits later girls are like instant and they're like i'm gonna go do this and then blah blah blah blah and guys are just like oh fuck i don't need that shit ha ha ha yeah yeah oh yeah i wish i was that it's like a delay hit me in the moment for well you got broken up over facetime that's just fucked over facetime and then ask me if i've talked to her yet have you no that's probably how long ago uh i mean this is this is a year and a half ago two years ago at this at this point were you very much in love very much in love head over heels

it was the first girl i was ever like hey man i can marry this girl and not be scared right and then uh and then yeah she you know she did a face to facetime me she gave me a reason uh her she had she had a lot of uh trauma so she as like a child so she had a lot of like intimacy issues so there was like there would be like two three weeks of her like just completely open to me and and with in love and great great and then it then for some reason and there was nothing to activate it she would just be she would shut down and then a week of her just being like this other person i literally it happened so often i literally had names for the people like she it was it was almost like she had two different personalities.

It was very odd. Her mom even said to her that she might be bipolar. Wow, moms never lie. For real, I mean, a mom knows her like more than anyone. Yeah, she's looking out for her. Yeah, but the sweetest girl, and I don't blame her at all, but that's what happened.

It was like she went to London to shoot a thing and she literally FaceTimed me from London being like, I've been thinking a lot about this I I think my feelings for you are so on and off that I just don't think it's fair to you I'm summarizing the fuck was it kind of out of nowhere for you um the the the um the thoughts that she was throwing at me weren't out of because she said it to me maybe three or four months prior to that so it wasn't like the ideas again weren't out of nowhere but her executing the ideas her executing the breakup was obviously out of nowhere it wasn't like a simmering for two weeks type of thing she's like i don't know let's take a break but it was just like this is how i feel and i don't

think it's fair for you and it was like just out of fucking nowhere so i was in shambles but your breakup was like mutual like yeah over facetime or in person in person lucky i mean we've been dating for almost three years so it's like wow wow uh yeah we dated for two years you don't respect me but go ahead well how long were you in shambles for i'm interested oh uh jesus trevor probably knows uh i probably like right when the podcast kind of started and i was like so can we talk about it oh dude it's awkward when you go through break with me you can't talk about it and you're like yeah nerds ropes are kind of crazy. And you're like, you guys got your hard shadow.

I know. It was so funny because it was right when we started our Patreon. So the first episode was all crazy. But in the second, literally the second episode of the Patreon, Trevor looks at me before we start shooting. He goes, yo, you want to talk about it, man? And I was like, it's not going to be funny. He goes, I don't care, dude.

Let's just talk about it. And it was just, I think there obviously was some funny there because we're fucking comics. we're fucked around probably a lot a lot of uh points of it but yeah we just like comedy comes with pain there you go yeah and we just like went into it i was i was probably not great for i would say i started feeling probably more like myself through three four months yeah it took a while bro and when did you guys break up uh like early april i'm not gonna math there's no three months but here's the thing there's no like anger there anything is like very kind of mutual and peaceful you know so i i don't i think maybe a lot of it

was i just sort of miss it's sort of like missing having her in my life and then that sort of hit me over the weekend. Yeah, you don't actually miss her. You just miss the idea of being intimate with someone. And I think that's a thing. Three years, that's a while. But even as a friend, just her, I think. We go from hanging out with them every weekend.

Weekdays, I feel like you can get by with because you're like, I'm working, I'm doing stand-up, I'm doing this. And it's like Saturday midday, and your friends are out doing shit, at brunch, doing fucking boomerangs with their mimosas and you're like yeah i'm gonna beat my dick again for the fourth time this morning and then you go yeah and you do it you fucking bust out the vaporoni and fucking so uncanny in its accuracy yeah yeah yeah i mean dude as a guy there's like what like what else are you gonna do to numb the pain you go to therapy and you beat your dick you got two options yeah or you have like a meaningless sex with someone praying that's not going to be meaningless and you go into

it trying to convince yourself that this is going to make me feel better yeah it never does that's so annoying too because that's like you go straight until you're like yeah you start getting like dates and stuff you're like all right i'm good yeah i'm back baby yeah And then like a month later You're like I'm not back I'm not back I got fucked up Dude I'm not back It's a very funny soundbite So you were on your way

To a date this weekend Yeah Do you still go on the date? I still went on the date But yeah You held together strong? Yeah I mean it was

You know Where'd you guys go on the date? Like what'd you guys do? You don't have to Dox the restaurant Yeah We just went to We just got like a went to a brunch spot.

There we go. Daytime. Daytime date. First date? First date, yeah. First date during the daytime? Are you trying to be your friend? What's going on?

Yeah, of course. Yuck. Daytime dates are great for first dates. Yuck. I'm trying to booze right now. Oh, okay. That's why I'm keeping it cash. And then she's like, bottomless mousses, and you're like, oh, fuck. Yeah, I'm like, I'm going to goze right now Oh okay That's why I'm keeping it cash And then she's like

Bottomless mimosas And you're like Oh fuck Yeah I'm like I'm gonna go with a Diet Coke You don't like a daytime date? Let me get a mimosa No champagne

Orange juice? Yeah bring it out Yeah I do not like a daytime date No I do not like it I think they're great Really?

Yeah Cause it's casual It's loose Yeah I'm not in for casual dude Right you want them I'm in for sexing dude Right No I'm fucking around But if I'm not in for casual, dude. Right, you want the intensity. I'm in for sexing, dude. Right.

No, I'm fucking around. But obviously you meet somebody. Are you fucking around? Well, I'll tell you. Asterisk. If you meet somebody over whatever app or in life and you go, oh, there's no, you can tell pretty quickly there's no immediate connection and you're just trying to fuck. Right? So if I'm just trying to fuck, I'm not going to bottomless mimosas with you.

Right. I'm going to a bar at 10 p.m already drunk because we know what this is right right but if there's any type of connection um i would maybe think about doing a uh you know a fucking brunch but i still would be against that because that doesn't feel that feels like there's a lack of uh connection or intimacy like it feels like i can't or she won't sort of open up in that regard. It's like doing stand-up in their daytime. It's like, what are we?

It's not real. It's like we're being on a date and hearing seagulls. You're like, I don't know about this vibe. Yeah. There's like school buses driving by. What do seagulls sound like again? Ah! Is it?

Yeah, pretty active. It's kind of a standard bird. Yeah. It's like a chilled out crow a little bit. That's not bad. That's not bad not bad again it does stand up i've done a stand-up paddleboarding date marie del rey oh i thought you were talking about stand-up comedy i was like wait what no there's different stand-ups i made her do a set yeah yeah what's your type nice to meet you you're going out we got we got pretty intimate i like that activity

really yeah not not like we didn't make out because we were both on different boards. But I mean like. That would be funny. Like you opened up to each other. That would be cool. Yeah. Like the longest you're going in for it. Then you smack your butt with the paddle.

A little like hitch. Wait. So what about. So we'll go to you next. Are you happy? And what happened on your micro-shroom trip? Am I happy? Yes, I'm very happy.

You seem like a happy guy. I'm happy and the only time i ever feel weird is it's the same thing with stand-up where i go uh videos aren't doing blank or merch isn't selling is blank and and then i i let work get to me but it's like work you have to remember it's like kind of like a stock market it's like you're not always up the best stocks in the world had plummets so i just kind of just it's more like a long game and just like not stressing myself out but overall like i feel like i get stressed but other than that like overall i'm very happy i mean i just like i'm very happy to not work a nine-to-five job anymore i just i didn't like it just wasn't you just have so many cups of cured coffee and

you're like i hate this this everyone here sucks right it's but it's hard to and maybe that's your like your touch point right it's like whenever you're feeling stressed about social media whenever you're feeling stressed about merch or whatever you're stressed about it's hard to and maybe that's your touch point it's like whenever you're feeling stressed about social media whenever you're feeling stressed about merch or whatever you're stressed about it's like that should be your touch point

it should be like yeah but I'm not working at All Death Digital anymore so I am killing it which I love working I just don't like having the day job

I find myself feeling not necessarily 100% happy if I'm alone for a while but I like being alone which is weird no dude I'm the same way

but it's like I'm like with you guys this is my friend this is great life's good so know yeah so it's always like i just have to get out of my head for a second and happiness is a weird word too because i think we yeah happiness i think we think of it as elation you know what i mean where it's like you're like ah i'm so like right on your face right and i don't know if that's taking everybody on your way out the doors and that's like a fleeting thing i don't know if it's a good metric for how to uh really define how you're doing i think you can also be happy but have like dilemmas or be happy and have be frustrated be in conflict like

the overall thing is happy but i do get frustrated it's like yeah i'm happy i get to tour but am i frustrated that my flight got delayed seven hours yeah so there's like over the umbrella i'm still stoked that i get the opportunity to go tour but there's little inconveniences there's a thing in jordan peterson's book that i think about a lot when he was like um he'd be reading people yeah i'll be bringing books bro um i didn't like that book you didn't but we don't you're fired you're off the pie so what's this called chad and blau cool but i like listening to him on podcasts but i didn't like him in a but he had this idea where he was maybe you like this idea we'll just hit me with it no i like him i like it on this idea he said that um people think happiness is no problems but happiness comes or derives from

right solving problems so the idea of you having problems shouldn't be oh fuck i'm unhappy because i have problems it should be sick i have a problem i can solve this which i will derive happiness from solving problems and the quality of your problems too like like your problems like oh my flight got delayed, but it's on your way to doing like a headlining set. That's much better of a problem than, you know, all deaf digital is making you stay longer. I don't mean to bring them up again.

Yeah. Great company. Yeah, but it's much better than like losing your job at H&R Block and now you can't feed your family. Right. It's a little different. It's a better problem. Yeah, but also we think about that.

This is what Jordan Peterson, I was about to say Jordan like a fucking nose guy, but it's a better problem yeah but but also we think about that this is what jordan peter said i said i'll say jordan like a nose guy but that's what he was saying right so think about that scenario and you go okay i don't have a job now and then think about how happy you are when you search and find a job right then that that's happiness because now it's like okay cool now i can supply my family with food and and and might be a better job and all kinds of stuff so right solving problems i just think the idea of like people like i have problems and i'm unhappy yeah i heard something interesting this agnes collard was on a podcast with uh ezra klein i just throw those names out there even though they don't resonate with that i don't know what the hell you said but they were saying

what would what would a left version of jordan peterson sound like you know what i mean like someone who's on the left and then the answer that they came up with which i thought was kind of unsatisfying was that they said, we're getting into pretty deep waters here, but they were saying that it would be someone who is very socially conscious and is trying to do social good. Basically virtue signaling is one way you could categorize it. But they were basically saying that the left version of Jordan Peterson

would just be someone who's like, so hyper aware of all the uh social inequalities and stuff and is constantly looking to better those things so like just left twitter essentially right but then i was like i don't know if that's like as inspiring as what he's throwing out there no i think i think some of his ideas are hyper inspiring and some of them are you know ruffle feathers right but i think you can pick and choose from him like what what you know no for sure i think he's a g i know i love listening to him talk i'll watch his like class lectures on youtube all the time this guy's a beast i'm trying to picture a more left version this person's bloody non-binary okay that's a bloody

fact it's gender neutral okay in his voice it actually is kind of inspiring i'm like yeah that's right that was pumped up yeah that actually fired me that's a gender neutral bathroom okay you know what maybe it does work it just i needed to hear it in jp's voice and not in the people i was listening to this might be a new impersonation you should do on stage you're like okay this is jordan peterson on the left and everyone's like oh god he's bloody non-binary there is something about his voice it sounds very like truthful yeah but that's what i was thinking is he like i know he's considered right wing but he doesn't does he really talk about politics i guess he had moments where he did but i haven't seen him all the stuff i hear

about is just like about self-betterment yeah he's like how do you know if you have a loyal friend right well here's what you do well you ask him to do this thing and if he doesn't show up for you that's not a bloody good friend right yeah he talks a lot about a hierarchy and that's that's where i think he talks about the hierarchy and the reason he got on was because he was talking about trans rights in canada right and so that that sort of like propelled him so he's like sort of under that like i think he had to come in with that really topical like uh give you attention yes and then you can talk about why your dog doesn't like you right like even that ryan holiday the stoicism guy he first came out as like uh like a media

manipulator and then once he got famous for that he was like okay now i just want to talk about stoicism but i feel like sometimes to get your foot in the door you got to dive on that more like uh hit the trending topics yeah there you go okay but what about doing mushrooms how's that i've never done before i did microdose a little chocolate bar i loved it i had a great time that's awesome i uh yeah i thought it was really fun i i just think what the stuff i was talking about was uh i don't know if it was like commonology shit you say when you take mushrooms but i just remember like saying it's like very blanket statements there's like very bland but dude those

cups look so crispy but you know what's amazing about mushrooms is you say all that stuff but you mean it i mean it yeah you don't say it like a platitude you say you're saying a platitude yeah but it's like at your core you believe it but everybody agreed when i would say things and they're like oh those fucking cups do look crispy and i was like thank god there's nothing worse than like you say something everyone's like what are you talking about right they accepted you at your truth yeah it was great i was just laying in a pool just uh just peeing myself on mushrooms you know because you can just pee in a pool just on a floaty it was it was uh it was definitely one of the top moments of my life i was very let's go that's great have you guys on mushrooms last time

we did the podcast last time and what you were like you were hyping it up and then you're like yeah i'm actually microdosing right now like very casual i was on a lot yeah it was very casual i always call it microdosing and then i show people how much i did they're like that's just a regular yeah microdosing just sounds so scientific though right and it sounds like it sounds small and like not a big deal but yeah yeah you did you were like we like ran right over it was like yeah i'm microdosing right now okay cool yeah so so what do you think on. Yeah, we ran right over. I was like, yeah, I'm a microdoser. Okay, cool. So what do you think about Jordan Peterson? Right into it.

Oh, he was on. Okay, I thought you were on. No, I wasn't. He was. I did a couple pods on mushrooms. Pods? Podcasts, yeah. Oh, okay.

I didn't know there was terminology for shrooms. See, I'm so new to this stuff. Did you take chocolate bars or the actual shrooms? I think I did stems and caps, just the old-fashioned way. The old-fashioned way. But I do prefer doing it chocolate style. Chocolates are good. It seemed to hit harder.

Yeah, it was nice. It was a quick little, like it wasn't like a full day thing. It was like an hour, and then I was just like, ah. And then you look back up at the palm of the spring skies, and you're like, oh, it looks like shit again. You're like, I think it's wearing off. Right, right, right. Yeah, it was really nice.

Yeah, it was literally, I did a show the laugh factor last week and this lady uh her her husband used to work for a company that i had done some stuff with and then like this is my wife she's doing great things and i thought since he was in entertainment she was like i mean actress i was like oh what do you what do you like what products you're gonna she goes oh i sell i sell mushrooms i was like okay i'm going to palm springs this week she's like okay well do you want to buy someone like yeah that's and then just in the middle of laugh factor Just handed me a chocolate bar

And I Venmo'd her I love the packaging too Because it's like a Willy Wonka bar I thought it was real chocolate For a second I thought it got scammed I was like what the fuck Dude yeah

Sweet old lady from like Abbott Kinney Was just like yeah here you go Yeah Dude how long do mushrooms last Because last time I did mushrooms Was the first time I've ever done mushrooms

But I bought two Eighths Yeah And I literally still have it But it's They're gone right they're done no they're still good don't worry no i i find people will say if you google it it says that they could like lose their potency but i i haven't had that issue they just like lose potency it's not like they go bad because they're already bad they might but i found ones that i like left out for like a year and then i took a small amount or a larger than small

amount and they worked really okay good yeah because i have an eighth in a like manila envelope in my drawer if uh that's this is i got a bunch in my bag i'll hook you up you'll be fine we're we're in canada i just said we're in california we can have them right is that a weird thing okay i just was actually outing myself on a podcast the guy i buy shrooms from is a cop he's the most chill cop ever people judge cops i'm like i know some cool ones he's super legit yeah no the guy i buy shrooms from i got it from a friend and then when i met him he was a comic and i was i didn't recognize him at first oh really then he was like what up dude and i was like oh what's up dog and then yeah and it's always funny because you're like there doing this like illicit thing,

but then you're also like, hey, it's nice to see you again, man. How you been? How's that T-Mobile bit going? Yeah, exactly. So are they decriminalized here? Is that what the deal is? I don't know.

They're on their way. People are like, yay, fuck it. They say they fix everything, but I think sometimes people are a bit hyperbolic like on the benefits, you know what I mean?

Because definitely if I do it too much, I can feel my brain getting a bit rattled. But I also have like mental health history. I definitely did feel dumber the day after. Oh, really? I just like was like trying to like type words and everything had the red squiggly lines on it. And I was like, I got it.

I cry a lot the day after. I'm very like emotionally in touch. Is that a serotonin thing where it takes all your shit like Molly does? Maybe, but I feel good about the cry the next day. Like I feel like I'm actually emotionally engaging with stuff that maybe that's been like that's like the grand finale right yeah okay it's not too bad i like it yeah i just read a book but go ahead oh no sir you know what you said book and fuck what i'm gonna say yeah it's gonna be i just read a book by terence mckenna have you heard oh yeah you know i'm terrible yeah yeah

or he he basically argues that shrooms are like psilocybin is aliens and it's like our yeah it's it's very joe rogan dmt kind of he's like he's like he's like yeah he argues that they're i can't really understand a lot of who's saying too smart but he's like so yeah they're basically aliens that give us you know insight into you know different realities and different dimensions they're giving us the code to the universe. God bless you, aliens. Thank you for that. Yeah, and shrooms are the next part of our evolution. We're going inside the mind.

Isn't that the whole idea behind how, essentially, primates became us? They took shrooms? Yeah. Yeah. How much are monkeys eating shrooms? They took shrooms and then their brains got bigger. Some shit like that. Some people think we used to have a bicameral mind. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. integrated and we started to realize that we have like consciousness you know what's so crazy and this is a very shroom idea but fuck it let's do it where do ideas come from because you know you know when you're in that like flow state and you're just like well what is going on and you're just like crushing crowd workers you're just like riffing on a pod and it's just like you're just in that fucking you're in flow you're in flow pedal to the metal yeah what is like how come we can't always access that and then when we do access that we're what because you feel it you feel yourself dropping into it and just it's like bang bang bang you know like cave of forgotten dreams that verner herzog doc there's they find

like the original cave paintings like the first art and then there's someone who's like an ancestor of those folks or a what's the opposite of ancestor but he's from that lineage and he just starts painting on the wall and verner's like why are you painting that and he's like i'm not painting it he's like the ghost is coming through what the fuck oh yeah we never got into you being all fucking ghosts and shit floor 13 oh fucking ghost let's take shrooms and go to floor 13 of hotel sorry mushrooms are illegal in california except for oakland santa cruz you can take shrooms in oakland legal i guess that's probably a very normal thing to do but what i'm saying is the spirit of art gets into you and then you're a vessel for it in that moment and maybe it's because you're in a good place where you're available to it yeah or you like

just start brushing to you with your left hand you just open up ventricles in your brain that you never knew existed it's probably more of what it is yeah so they say it's like a source energy thing there's like an infinite and this is like infinite intelligence and stuff and then when you find the stillness in yourself and you allow it to flow through that's what it is right you're beer buying knowledge and it's just fucking coming that is a beautiful metaphor yeah dude i think if everyone should think about it like that yeah someone's gonna get that tattooed on them. He likes beer bongs for knowledge. Someone's going to get that tattooed on them.

Like a beer bong of knowledge. I'm an open beer bong to the infinite wisdom and art of the universe. Yeah. Yeah, and like a nice scripture on the side of the ribs. Just chugging that shit, dude. I just want to chug it down, bro. Chugging Socrates. Socrates is the one pouring the beer.

That's nice, dude. With a thought bubble, what happened? Here are all the beer. That's nice, dude. Yeah, holding. With the thought bubble, what happened, dude? Here are all my ideas. Somebody probably has that already. Some form of that. Or you know the Greek god painting, which are like touching hands like this and they're uniting? Somebody's got to do one of that where it's like a key holding a coke. The Sistine Chapel one where God and Adam are touching fingers?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. What's the name of that? What's the name of that? I don't know if it's Adam, is it? No, it might not be. I think Leonardo da Vinci painted it. DiCaprio? No, Michelangelo for sure. No, no, you guys don't know what fucking Ninja Adam, is it? No, it might not be. I think Leonardo da Vinci painted it. DiCaprio? No, Michelangelo, for sure.

No, no, you guys don't know what fucking Ninja Turtle I'm talking about, okay? Yeah. Leo. Okay, well, let's... We ummed at the same time. I think... That's just our podcasting instinct. We're synced, bro.

We're super synergistic. Same synergy. Wait, I got something I gotta say, though. Trevor, your hair. Does it look good? It looks the best it's ever looked. Yeah, like immense flop yeah yo your hair is in flow stay bro yeah see my hair is just in the still moment are you conscious that you're at like a longer moment for it and that it's sitting very nicely uh i was on the way over here i caught a glimpse

my reflection on a right hand turn i was like this is a good day i love it that's awesome it's not always great it's a great Because it's not always great. It's a great feeling. It's not always great. And let's talk about why does that happen? Bad hair? Bad hair? But what is that?

Your hair is always the goddamn same. Same. So you shower the same, right? Sometimes it's just, you know. But what is that? It's when you put in the shit after. Was it too wet? I blow dry my hair because I'm a bitch.

You blow dry? I do. Wow. That doesn't make you a bitch, dude. It does not make you a bitch. Yeah, it doesn't. make you a bitch do you blow dry hair no make some people a bitch though i've seen one of my friends started blow he ended up stealing my car so i got a lot of bad will towards this guy but he would blow dry his hair and i was like dude cut that fucking shit out man you look ridiculous what if that was the a to b he's like this guy fucking made fun of me blow drying my hair i'm gonna steal his fucking car dude if that's why he did it i would actually be like i get it now it's impressive yeah at the time i was like yeah i'm gonna blow up

your fucking radiator yeah i think you're onto something though i think it's the the race between you know shampoo conditioner or if you know i shampoo every other day if i have a shampoo day it's a little bit more unruly you know i shampoo every day every other day every other day maybe maybe go two days with that because then it gets then it gets just too kind of dry and then you gotta then you gotta load on the garnier fructease but you know i'm a pantene guy oh dude i knew you were yeah i knew you were it's cheaper at costco you know what i found now what's a air dry it, air dry. I was thinking about air fryers. I was like, what the fuck? Air fryers, I'm starving. That sounds great.

Air dry. It takes a little longer. I got to ration. Ration. I got to find an hour because that's the max. If I can give myself an hour just for it to dry, I'll comb it and give it an hour and then put in my stuff when my hair is completely dry, but air dry. Then I feel like everything, because my hair is a little curly and everything stays together.

You have gray hair. Can you flip that off? Yeah, man i mean it's it's a nightmare i am i'm taking it too buddy i've been taking the youtube boys don't need it right uh i'll probably i'll probably get there i'm really insecure about hair loss because like that that's like the last thing i got especially if you're on camera dude and we're all trying to play perpetual i just like every time i like style my hair back with like a yeah I style it just for like 17 year olds. Every time I slick my hair back with a comb and I see that there's like any

that's not just like a hairline it's like a straight bar. Any like divot in I'm like yo what the fuck is that? And I go to my girlfriend am I balding? She's like no you're fine. I'm like you ain't gonna blind me right? I have a natural the hairline is widow's peak.

And my brothers have it too but if you look i was like looking at photos i'm like am i i was like what the fuck is the peak getting more pronounced yeah that's what i'm saying are you not on propesia no i went to what are you guys doing i went to dermatologist i'm like am i losing any hair she's like no it looks good yeah let me ask you a question how the hell does she know you're with yourself every goddamn day and here's the thing it's not about losing it now buddy it's not about losing it now she's lying to you she's lying to you dog this is what you do she hates men she wants you to lose your hair hierarchy she resents your perfect cap to my weekend dude yeah okay let me just say this. Big preacher of Propecia. She's probably a good lady.

I'm just fucking her. Propecia? Nah, fuck her, dude. I'm a big proponent of Propecia. You start early. Thank you. Me too, bro. Preemptive.

You start. That's the whole thing. If you like your hair now, just start now, and then you don't have to worry about it, dude. We have too much to worry about. Last thing you want to do is worry about losing your hair. But I got a big question for you. Buddy, give it to me.

Dude, hit it heavy. What about your dink? My dink is working that's my thing it didn't affect my penis i had boner problems before propitia same level of boner problems after whatever the fuck's going down there already and if you read those google reviews they'll scare the fuck out of you because dudes are like my dick felt like a rubber attachment you're like well that's about worst case scenario my hairline looked great but i i talked to doctors like several doctors from different disciplines of medicine and they were all like they were kind of condescending they're like those dudes had those problems before 100 yeah yeah because it it low but i'm not a doctor and i'm not encouraging any youngster out there not financial advice

yeah but also here's the thing man if you take it or your soul if you take it and your dick stops working then stop taking it and you're good. Does it come back? There's scary stories where it doesn't. But sometimes you find out in a moment where you need your dick to work. You're about to have the sex. But then maybe if your dick doesn't work, you guys have a really nice conversation,

you intimately connect, and that ends up being your life. And here's the thing, dude. If you just have to start taking blue chew, then fuck it. That's what happens every time, bro. Oh, I take Viagra sometimes. Yeah, but now I take a good dose.

I used to take enough to kill an elephant. Do you always? Isn't that how Dan Bilzerian said his heart attacks? Yeah. Of course. That's my favorite clip, I think. He didn't have to read the book. One of my favorite things you guys ever did when you went up to my house out of the comedy

store, that clip. Oh, ask him if he was happy. Same question. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. So before... I think he is, honestly.

I think he's wildly unhappy. Really? Look at how he... Who he is honestly i i i think he's wildly unhappy really look at how he how who he is and his brand i think he has days on and off does he have good friends no that's really what it is no good friends everyone around him gets paid no one he he he's lying to himself the people around him love him he has no love and what does he actually do? Fucking shoot guns? Sounds great. Not great. Also, that's a weekend out of the year. You go to Vegas, you shoot some guns, you drive a Lambo, whatever. You don't even have to do any of that.

But you don't want to do that every weekend. No. I always think, I always go, if you have a fucking cake. You want to make a puzzle with your wife. Yeah, but you're like, oh, you have a cake. Oh, yeah. And you eat a slice, eat two, eat three. After four, you're like, I'm going to kill kill myself i have another piece of cake yeah too much cake berzerian leaves too much cake life is better when you respect the things that bring you

pleasure and you treat them like special things it's like jerking off dude if you jerk off 19 times a day it's terrible i've been there dude you're looking at the guy who jerks off it's so funny dude because Trevor, yeah. Because you two are both pretty steady. You know what I mean? I might be misperceiving. Steady fucking? You're joking off.

Steady like in your... We're just not talking about that at all. I just meant steady as a human being. Like in all respects. I'm trying to read the room. But then I feel like you both have partners who are wily in the same way, too. Yeah. Yes. Right. Yeah. This is the Jackoff like wily in the same way too. Yeah. Yes. Right.

Yeah. You got, this is the Jack off couch. This is the check. You guys don't jack off that much. And we jack off a ton. Oh yeah. I don't know that for sure,

but I know, but I got this elbow rest blocking my range. We have our chi on the throne. Is this really, are we the same podcast in like the same podcast in a different world? I think there's a lot of parallels. Look at this. We look similar.

Y'all look similar. Hair color. This is crazy. Y'all, bizarro world. I think there's a formula to it. That's what I was trying to say. You got it. Every podcast has one guy who doesn't jack off that much.

And you have one guy who can't stop jacking off. That's actually very true. I jack off. I jack off. Which one of you guys? I jack off. Which one? I'm sorry. Come on. We switch. We switch. Chad jacks off that's actually very true i jack off i jack off come on we switch we switch chad jacks off more than me sometimes i do every other night bro yeah you guys dick is like a stepdad you're like i'll be back next week huh yeah that is true i had a moment i was in uh uh

jersey here we go killing it but i had a moment where i was like about to go to sleep and i was like all right well time to jack off and then i had a moment i was like hey man or not right go to sleep a lot of power in the or not adult yeah tease your dick a little bit don't give it to him every time because it's like my therapist will describe it like you don't want to be pinocchio who's controlled by the strings you know what i mean which is like jacking off or having to get fucked up whatever it is you want to be controlling the strings yeah the or not's great so when you don't jack off you're basically saying no i'm in control of this shit yeah but then you wake up and you go yeah i'm in control of my life yeah that's a good sometimes i'll pull a born hub just browse it for a second and close it out just to tease my dick a little bit you just that's why i'm lying

i do that oh yeah you know you just needed a spike i always think i'm gonna do that you ever tell yourself this i'm gonna go i'm gonna just browse i'm gonna see what's going on right it's a dangerous game i'm at the bottom of page two and i'm like who am i kidding you know i just realized a lot of couples will say after shows like yeah me and him binge watch your videos in bed all the time together they probably just fucked and then they're watching it after yeah post nut regret is just watching me i'd love to be the best post nut video yeah i think that's the highest it's just a weird like type of video to like pull up immediately after you came like have you seen this white cloth video that's so nice though that's pretty cool i like to think of people well people have wrote in and said they listen to our podcast while having

sex and i'm like that's i don't know who that people tell us that they listen right before they go to bed yeah we get that too and we're like is that a backhanded compliment it's super backhanded but at the same time i'm like you're giving them peace that's kind of like the nicest thing you can offer it's funny because our podcast is kind of like

I don't know it's like fucking I'm yelling the whole time it's loud it's loud your guys podcast is like does have like

I love it but it has unless we're talking about calm or Jordan Peterson someone said all podcasts are like caffeine

and this one's like a downer Jesus no it was a good comment I was like yeah it's true bro yeah yeah yeah we bring you the oxy I love following dude I think I have better sets when I follow you because like sometimes I can be too subdued and then when I follow you the energy is so contagious yeah this guy on the road yeah it brings it out of me and then I'm a better performer the crowd can literally just be waking up and they're just like the energy is out the gate like fucking boom and then they're

in you know and we talked about that too right you said you tried to do low energy stuff and it just it didn't feel right for you yeah dude i i was trying to be bill burr when i was in new york for like three years low energy in new york is kind of the theme right it's a theme dude it was like todd berry dude not not that low but I was like hold the mic stand guy hey here are my here are my fucking theories and it was fine but once I like

just like embrace like who I am which is like just a silly loud act out guy then I was like oh this is this is

this is fun yeah did you guys oh go ahead I don't even know I was saying did you guys ever have a phase where you felt like

you were doing too much of a certain comedian oh dude a million of those phases yeah like hannibal burris yeah um norm mcdonald yeah mitch hebert mark maron i tried to like sit down yeah dude i was actually recently thinking about that i was like dude this sit down seems so nice i mean you do the same thing i was like at some mics i was like trying to I remember that I remember the sit down You remember the boots then?

The boots? Boots and sit down? That was a big moment for me That's amazing I remember the boots but I don't remember the boots and the sit down But I remember certain sets where you I don't know if you were starting or in the middle But I remember the sit down you

And I was like I don't mind this but I've never done this show you go to a mic not to get better on your material but to get comfortable in the chair I'm going to feel it out before I bust it out on stage I definitely prefer you standing there's that little that thing that you do when you're like what up dude

you walk straight that's a standing move I'm a big pace guy my left hand is always doing something like i'm talking it's always doing something that's the worst to watch video of yourself and you're like fucking like all these nervous tics and you're like yeah i'm gonna do like i like listening to audio myself because you're just kind of evaluating the material but then when you watch video you just scrutinize too much yeah yeah have you guys ever worn uh shorts on stage yeah i just ask you how do you feel about

it i do i've done flip-flops and shorts. I feel like in this day and age, you can kind of just do it. Dude, I also think it's like there's an old religious story that people thought the devil was in this tree, so no one ever fucked with the tree. And then some pastor just went up there with an axe and just swung into it and was like,

look, we're all just believing in nothing. And so coming up, so many comedians were like, here's the rules. You can't wear shorts. You can't can't wear sandals and i was like i think you're wasting your time it doesn't matter yeah contained by those things just be you and that's gonna help you literally do anything you want just as long as you're funny right it doesn't matter and then i almost like coming at it from a deficit where like people like fuck this guy and then you're like oh but now i get to win you over right and that's almost more fun what also fits into your wearing the right outfit you know it fits you guys vibe so if you're in board shorts i'd be oh i get it you know it's right this fits the material right i don't i don't

think i could do board shorts and flip-flops just like what i do i actually did it once but it was a show at a beach and i didn't mind it but it was like santa monica but it was like a late-ish so i had a hoodie and then board shorts on. It's kind of a vibe. I'm warm, but I'm chill. It would be funny to see you with board shorts and flip-flops. But funny and ironic, like, what is this guy doing? I would just be like, oh, he's uncomfortable.

Just have the improv in November. They're like, it's not even hot now. I also just do too many act-outs. I'll lose flip-flops. Dick's flipping around everywhere. Yeah, dude, I need like. Let's fly off. There was a. Flip flops. You know what I'm doing recently, which I didn't.

Maybe I've always done it, but I'm like being conscious of me doing it. I tie my shoes tighter. Like I'm going to go fight someone when I like before I go. Because I just move around a lot. So I just remember it was. Oh, it was. Where were we just? Des Moines.

We were just in Des Moines. It was one of those shows. And I was like talking to the host and I was like tying my shoes like tight you're not like what am i gonna play basketball game what the yeah i've stretched before shows oh i stretch everything for sure i move around a lot i'll do push-ups and yeah yeah you just don't want to burn too much energy yeah i don't know what this impression guys happiness thinks i love this you're up yeah oh my god hold on are you happy yeah how was it my turn on the spot are you happy that's you bro oh all right am i happy uh i think i presently i'm i am yes like in this moment in this moment

you're having fun with it i am having fun it's a yes or no question on like the fill out exam it's like yes i am there it is we're in let's go and i think i think that's exactly what you said right what you just said it's like i don't think if you try to evaluate too broadly, it trips you up. It's like right now. Am I happy? Fuck yeah. I'm hanging out with really good friends. We're riffing.

We're fucking around. Right now, I'm ecstatic. This is great. That's what's up. Hell yeah. You? I'm happy. I love it.

I'm also a little contrarian. Like, I'm afraid of flying. But if other people on the plane are more afraid of flying than I am, I chill out. There you go. So I think because Chad had a rough rough weekend i was like oh i think i have to be the happy one today okay i like that thank you yeah yeah yeah you got a yin and yang yeah of course because if i was like i'm also bummed out to be like what's the point yeah you know what i do a lot though i appreciate that i appreciate you

no for sure of course i think it's it's it's instinctive yeah um oh when i do a lot which is i don't know i think it's a benefit but also it drags me down a lot if i'm like if people like ask me for advice whatever i sort of like take on their feelings so if they ask me for like break up advice or whatever fucking advice then i'm like i leave it being like bummed because i'm like oh fuck i got broken up with two and i'm like oh shit that wasn't me no yeah i haven't too i can be so empathetic to people that sometimes i'll realize like i'm listening to them and i'm like oh i gotta be careful like i don't know and then you feel bad because you're like well i don't want to shut someone down yeah for feeling how they feel but you are like i have to kind of protect how i'm feeling yeah because i'll take it on like there's

certain green rooms that i won't walk into because i'm like everyone in here is negative shit and i'll leave this green room feeling first of all i won't do well and i'll leave this green room being like oh i didn't get that netflix job and i go no i didn't i didn't even want that i'm not even i'm not that i want to say you have so many other things yeah yeah it's interesting yeah dude there was a there's well we won't give specifically there was there was a show a while ago what is it there's a while ago that we were doing and was there was a show a while ago doxum what is it there's a while ago that we were doing and uh this was probably like a year ago but there was a host that was like just in just incredibly negative and both of us never chilled in the green room

we literally just went to our fucking hotel because i just i couldn't it was like it like bummed us out now dude we did someone's podcast a couple years ago and he was so negative and on his own podcast on his own pod is it a big pod yeah but then like uh it's joe rogan yeah he called we called each other afterwards on the drive home and i was like hey chad was like hey are you sad i was like i'm super sad are you sad he's like yeah and we're like that was the worst thing we've ever done yeah yeah sometimes you're talking to somebody and you're like five minutes in and it's getting dark quick and you're like i need to find a way to naturally not put this guy in an even worse place but get out of this conversation on a good note and like right

and it's really it's a self-awareness thing because i've got no problem if someone feels that way but if he would have just been able to be like hey guys i'm sorry i'm being negative i would have been like oh we're good but like because i've had those moments with people where i've been like but if i just look what i did to them i see their face just changing like oh you fuck but if this is my boy off there yeah i'm saying this is my boy i'm gonna help you out for sure but like yeah it's like somebody who like you just met and they're like spewing you're like i i even as your new friend i don't even know how to help you here right well in in this instance too on that podcast is his energy was just like it was off you know it wasn't that

he was him he's saying really negative things, but just in general. Yeah. It's like, he's one of those guys where it's like, when you're around him, I feel like kind of no matter what, I personally, I'm just sort of like, I'm like, there's just something not right here. Dude, all of those people, I made a conscious decision maybe like two years ago where I was like, I'm done with all of those people. Yeah.

I do not, not they those type of people still call me still text me and i will not hang out with them yeah even if they're having like a good day i'm just done yeah because i just i i don't i don't want that this sounds up but i guess you guys understand like i don't want that on me yeah no dude i i made a conscious decision i think when i was in my 20s i was only interested in like people who were interesting i was like like if someone was crazy and was always getting into trouble but they had like they were intelligent in a way that was different than me and that i kind of envied i was like oh well that's just part of it but now i'm like i'm just more attracted to healthy people yeah because i'm like the other stuff just comes with too much um turmoil and i was like it's just

not worth it yeah and the turmoil like like affects me like all of a sudden like if they're if they're in turmoil then then i leave it then i'm like freaking it's just not worth it. Yeah, and the turmoil affects me. All of a sudden, if they're in turmoil, then I leave. Then I'm freaking. It's just like, no, man. I literally surround myself with people like Trev, like you guys who are just. Obviously, we all have bad days. But are solid. But are solid.

And even how you guys emote your bad days is, I don't even want to say positive, but it's just not dark. It's constructive. Yes. It's not just overbearing dark energy Consistently it's like even when again even when you're having a bad day even you were explaining like your weekend And yeah, it's like it's not like yeah, man fucking like this dark energy It's like I was feeling bad well you also don't feel bad wait because sometimes you talk to me try to cheer him up for a while and just Everything you do doesn't help and you're you're like, now I'm just throwing, just, you know, I'm just adding more to this.

And then you're like, nothing I can do can help you. But it's like, if I talk to you and I know you're having a bad day, and I see you start to come to life, I'm going to keep giving in. Because I'm like, oh, we're getting somewhere, we're getting somewhere. So there's hope at the end of the tunnel. But some people are just like, no matter what you say, they're just like, meh, meh, meh. Or you say all this stuff, and they go, dude, totally, dude, totally, totally. And they never do it. Right.

And I'm like, I just can't give an advice to someone who's just not listening. I struggle with that too. Because then I'm like, so do you accept someone for who they are and not for who you want them to be? Or do you also, if they can't get to where you think they should be,

is it okay to take space and distance and be like, I guess we're just not some potty coat. I didn't think so. Like maybe six seven years ago but we just don't vibe and i'm done yeah don't this shit we have limited time bro yeah yeah you just feel bad because you you feel like in their mind they probably know why you're doing it and then you feel like you've judged them as you're like inherently in a better position than them yes i worry about that a lot but yes also and this is not to be

fucked up uh you're not that important right no that's the best way to think that doesn't that's good you know i mean it's just people i think people are like oh this person bubba they they don't they haven't thought about it right and if they have they thought about one percent of the hundred percent right and usually those people actually more often than not don't think about you. Yeah, because that's true. I don't think I've ever noticed. I'm sure people have done that to me

and I don't think I've noticed. Or given it much second thought. Yeah, that's comforting. Yeah. Right. I like that kind of like you're a piece of shit and you don't mean nothing

as like a solution. Yeah. Like one time I was like, I wanted to get back together with this girl. And my dad was like, yeah, get back together with her. I was like, yeah, but her parents don't like me my dad just

went nobody's parents are gonna like you i was like but i instantly felt better i was like yeah just let go of that entire thing yeah it's like what you're saying on the flight it's like other people are also scared you're like there's a commonality there right yeah no parents yeah yeah just fuck it who cares yeah um do you guys want to take a break for a second then we'll answer some listeners questions let's do it okay cool I'm gonna take a tinkle

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All right, back to the show. I love how we're just doing this podcast with the game in front of us. No, dude, so I tried to do a joke about that where I was like, I just posted on my story, I was like, oh oh and the whole reason i bought it was for the joke i was like just got this book thanks for the rec dad tons of huge insights in it everyone took it seriously and everyone was like hey i think that book might be a little outdated or like yeah it's a compelling read but like i don't know if like and i was like no one i didn't get any ha ha ha so i just deleted it i was like no one's getting it

like everyone just took me as being serious I know I know I'm like it's like obviously it's been I did read it

when I was like a teenager you know what I mean I'm like I thought all that would just be understood what was the book again the game oh yeah

that was very funny I mean I also just think like people like us me personally I think you guys have this too I literally only

post things that are comedic. Right. I'm never serious on there. I'm serious a lot, actually, so maybe that's why. Oh. Yeah. And that's actually a good point.

That's probably why they didn't get it. But I was like, it's the game, and I said my dad gave it to me. I can also see your dad giving it to you. I've never met your dad, but after meeting him. A hundred percent. Yeah. The game is such a funny, like. Dad, did you hear that?

That dude is such a trick. The mystery or the writer yeah are we back in do you know what i i went out with someone who uh spent time with a pickup artist she i think i mentioned this on the last podcast but i spent time with a girl who um hung out with pickup artists because she was like casting it for a show or something and she said a lot of those guys yeah right no i do think she was like casting it for a show or something. And she said a lot of those guys, yeah, right. No, I do think she was interested in getting the psychological tricks. But she said that a lot of those pickup artists now don't even sleep with the women. For them, it's just like getting better at the craft of picking up women.

So they're just- They're just in it for the reps, dude. They just go out there and they're like, oh, so this works and this doesn't work. And like, maybe this technique is more efficient. But what's their definition of picking up, like getting someone's phone number, I guess,

or like having at least like getting some indicator that she would be willing to have sex with you or something. Yeah. But I wonder what that means. I watched, uh, to these losers. Do you guys know Andrew Callahan?

He, he did, uh, all gas, no brakes. Yeah, for sure. He does channel five.

Now he just posted a video where he's like with a guy in Vegas, who's a pickup artist and he's like just his look is crazy it's called peacocking where you like have a crazy mohawk with a bunch of different colors so you draw attention in the crowd you're literally peacocking right and uh yeah he follows him around this guy says he's like made out with like 5 000 women in his life and like and the way he edited it is really funny he'll be like talking to a bunch of guys being like this is how you make out with girls and this is how you're successful then it cuts to him on the street like striking out with a girl Yeah, the girls like so what's your next movies like this and he goes like make out with the girls like whoa? He edited it really funny to make it really doesn't pull

But yeah It is very interesting because I remember watching my friend reminds me of this guy Mystery like he like in like high school like looked up to him and i remember watching those videos like these guys are so they have like swim goggles on and then like a fedora that's cut in half and they're like let's go peacock you pussies and you're like yeah no you're a loser every one of these dudes are losers like even that guy's like i made it with 5 000 women hey congrats right out what does that even mean when it's not supposed to be the purpose of your life it's supposed to be a byproduct of like living a good life yeah it's so so funny to make out with a girl and take a clicker and hit a number. You know how they click on people at baseball games?

They're like, 4,393. But that shouldn't be a click. All right. Sup, fellas. Huge fan of the pod and think you guys offer very sage advice as well as some good perspective on life. I just graduated college and have been seeing this girl that I'm pretty into. We have a little bit of a history and she has for sure burned me in the past,

but things have been going really well with us recently, and we weren't dating yet, but it was definitely on the horizon. Recently went to a grad party for a different girl I used to hook up with, and we ended up making out at the end of the night. I feel really bummed out about it and told the girl that I was really into seeing

about what happened because I felt that it was best to be honest and for her to hear it from me. Now she is pretty mad at me, and the relationship is probably finito. I don't really think I was going to end up with this girl in the end and I think I put a lot of pressure on myself to find my soulmate which causes me to think I'm wasting my time by seeing people that I might not end up with in the end. I think this is why I jeopardized a potential GF for a casual hookup. Now I'm worried that if I do find my soulmate I'm going to ruin it by doing something stupid.

And I'm also worried wondering what if I find my person but just didn't know until I gave an actual relationship a chance. How do I balance searching for my true love while also enjoying time spent with the people

who are good for me right now? Thanks, fellas. That's a very deep question. Can I jump in here? Yeah, baby, go. Both feet. Let's go. I do think,

what's his name or can we not say names? I'll just keep it anonymous. Yeah, cool. I do think that you sabotage this. Do I think that this is going to become a pattern? No. Do I think that you sabotage this because you said that she burned you in the past, right? So it's a very scary proposition to just jump in with a girl who you already have like a pre-existing thing that she's she already burned you so i do think that you uh on some level

sabotage this but this is just a very specific isolated incident i don't think you should be worried at perfect time thank you keep up on it um people love it but i keep ruining my flow because i'm being stupid um but yeah i don't, I do not think this is a pattern, especially because now you're aware of it. Yeah, so that's my thought. It's just, you're just learning. Trial and error, baby. That's the Lord guiding you.

It's the Lord testing you. Yeah, I mean, dude, it's like he just graduated college. He's 22? He got time, my man. He's put a lot, I think he's put way too much pressure on himself. Oh, yeah yeah like so much you're grading yourself so harshly like you did a very basic mistake and obviously you weren't even at a time yet of like full commitment he said she had burned you too so i mean i'm not saying it's

ideal like you want to be loyal to the people you're pursuing but i don't know man i think you're gonna be fine i think this is like you said it's just trial and error it's hard in the time to yeah yeah it's too hard to wrap yourself around like when you're like this is the girl this is like you said it's just trial and error it's hard in the time to yeah yeah it's too hard to wrap yourself around like when you're like this is the girl this is the girl it's like you you should just feel it you don't have to tell yourself that yeah and then also being like i'm gonna self-sabotage in the future i'm like i think you're just fixating on like what the worst case scenario could be but you seem like a solid person i think chances are when you meet the person you're gonna yeah do the right dude i also think that you're like not giving yourself enough credit man because like what you did by telling her,

I think that's an incredibly adult thing, and normal 22-year-olds would not even do that. You sound very self-aware, so I think you're going to be fine. Yeah, dude. You'll be 28 looking back on that and be like, what the hell was I worrying about?

It's like what we were saying with stand-up, too. It's like, enjoy the process. This is part of life. Dude, squeeze your balls. You're fresh out of college, man. Get some ho years in dabble around yeah you're learning feel it out yeah trial and error i love this guy great question um sup lads sorry if this is a tad long i'm a 24 year old dude that just got out of a five-year relationship the relationship ended super well and we were still best friends long distance ain't working anyways i've recently dropped 15 kgs and been hitting the gym hard so the stoke levels are

high the ladies when i'm out partying are giving me all the signs but i just can't seal the deal i don't want to be that creepy guy so i only get somewhere if they are forward with me i'm also fresh as to meeting girls i'm only sleeping with one other girl and kissing maybe 10 chicks at the same time or total his life i think total i think totally oh i thought he was like i'm banging a girl right now and then still get to kiss 10 chicks i was like i don't see the problem yeah i think that's a lot um it's been a year out of this relationship but i get so nervous when it gets close to getting down to business that i can't perform i can't set my tent up if you know what i mean i just don't want to

be hurting people's feelings or make them uncomfortable i keep myself up at night repeating awkward situations over and over in my head how do you boys get over awkward situations and anxiety it causes also what are your go-to conversation pieces when talking to the ladies to keep the chat fresh thank dudes from thanks dudes from aladdin new zealand new zealand fire away yeah um i think it's very similar to Thanks, dudes, from Aladdin, New Zealand. New Zealand. Pleasure. Fire away. Yeah.

I think it's very similar to what I was saying to JT, that you're not that important. Jesus. Meaning, meaning, meaning. That's right. Meaning. I'm going to keep going. What if I just stop there? That's all I got, guys.

Meaning that you think all these situations are hyper awkward. You think that she goes home and she's like oh my god what a fucking idiot he did about i'm telling you more often than not they don't even remember and they don't care so you you overthinking all this is creating this like impression of what actually happened and her her uh you know her taking that in and and hers like blowing it up and nine times out of ten she doesn't even care. So I think that you can alleviate all this pressure by understanding that people don't, generally don't

I don't want to say don't care but like, everyone's just so self-involved. I think that you thinking that the girl's taking that situation home and freaking out about it, I don't. That's not real. Yeah, look.

I literally one time put my penis in and came instantly. Yeah. And I don't think that she thinks about it too, too much. There's probably a couple days out of the year she does. But I'm telling you, I rang the doorbell and then fucking nutted. Yeah. I came in my pants before they're even off yeah but did but but this just to know that oh you don't think because there was a gigantic stain on my goddamn Levi's and the vibe changed completely yeah and especially

cuz I was like so she know yeah dude i mean it's all coming is a mindset i like how you let's just say that right coming is a mindset so if you tell yourself you're gonna come quick you're gonna come quick but if you're like focus don't get out boom you're in yeah it's all about just being in control your own body so he's saying i think he gets so in his head he can't get it rocked up i feel that man i've been in that position before where i'm so in my head my my little uh little ding dang is is like, we're not working today. Too much stress. On top of that, too, in terms of like,

you say he's worried about being creepy. I think if you're worried about being creepy, you're probably not creepy. Yeah. Are you ready for this? Yeah. Chad, who's your beef of the week? Did you guys do all this shit?

Did you guys do your beefs, babes, and legends? He texted me this before. So you say your beefs, your babes, and legends. You have a beef of the week, a babe of the week, and your beefs your babes and you have a beef of the week a babe of the week and a legend of the week and then we do a week and a phrase of the week oh i didn't get any of this but i'll figure it out but do your quick is it like all the way around and the next one is like no it's one at a time okay yeah so we will have time to think okay okay cool cool cool yeah google dude get your google out we're always on our phones during this bit, so it's all gravy. There we go.

And if they're listening this far, they're true nice people. That's true. Not to say that they're the people. No, everybody else checks out, bro. I fell asleep 12 minutes in. Sorry. I have some new Grom beef. You know, sometimes I beef with Grom.

Of course, yeah. There's a new Grom out at Joe's in Malibu, Caden. Oh, fuck. Is a Grom like a non-local surfer no it's like younger so you know caden's probably like 14 caden's like a type person yeah it's his name oh oh it's a person yeah yeah his name is caden and he burned me at joe's and then called me a bitch and um you know yeah you know I was having a rough weekend, and then you just get burned by a grom like that, and then just called a bitch. What'd you retort?

I was so in my own dome. I was like, you're right. I cried this weekend. Yeah, I was like, you're right. I am a bitch. Damn. I'm a fucking bitch. That's how you know you needed that hit of the jewel after that you went to the parking lot you're like i can buy one of these you bitch yeah and he pulls out four and you're like fuck i was like caden why'd you have to be so accurate but you're gonna be my

beef of the week um he probably did that because he wanted to be beef of the week and he's a fan of the podcast probably yeah so you're my beef kid and congrats you won dude good for you damn but did he win next weekend when i'm feeling better bitch did he win because he's just gonna he sounds like a very unhappy person so he didn't win dude he's also 14 right he's just immature as a person yeah he's not gonna win but if you're not lucky he might not progress past where he's at. Yeah, I think this is good. This will open him up and give him some more awareness. Thank you, man. Yeah.

Appreciate it, dude. I'll do my beef next. Please, please, please. Yeah. Oh, I got it. My beef of the week is with the narrator from Too Hot to Handle. Too Hot to Handle is probably the best show on any platform. It's on Netflix, and they get these really hot people together,

and they're not allowed to hook up. then they'll invariably hook up but the the the idea for the show is that these people who are so obsessed with hooking up will learn to find something deeper it's great idea for a show i love watching hot people learn lessons it's like my favorite thing in the world but the narrator is like super sarcastic and always makes fun of what the characters say or the the the the the leads on the show say and i'm like yeah it's really easy to do that when you're in the editing room but these people are in the moment living and then sometimes she'll even make fun of what they say when it's not dumb and i don't like this new narrator concept and to me the narrator is supposed to

be omniscient but they're not supposed to have like uh agency yeah they're not supposed to be like commenting on like who the characters are and how we should feel about them like why are you disrespecting these people i don't think they're that dumb i, they're not supposed to be commenting on who the characters are and how we should feel about them. Like, why are you disrespecting these people? I don't think they're that dumb. I think they're really hot and they have a lot of access to things that has maybe made their values not what everyone thinks is ideal. But to me, they're all rock solid individuals. So stop talking shit about them

because I'm on board. And I just don't like the whole tone from a narrator talking down to the characters. No thank you, dude. Like, no. You're either eye level with the characters or thank you dude yeah like no you're either eye level with the characters or you're not on the narration kick so i'm just i don't know i don't like it is it the same from the first it's the same one yeah it was never a fan yeah and then it's like i don't know it's just like a little like feels like someone's like tweeting about the show or something like that like morgan freeman would never yeah morgan freeman would

never he would elevate the whole thing brings it up well it would be way funnier if they didn't have a narrator like being like and here's what's funny about this situation exactly i'm like i don't even think that was funny totally i thought that was a raw emotional moment and it just makes the whole thing feel too edited and too scripted and i'm like dude let it breathe a little bit, too. Yeah. Let these wonderful people interact. It's enough. We don't need this, like, I don't know, low-hanging fruit commentary. Totally. So, sorry.

Look, the lady who does the narration, I'm sure you're a great person. I'm sure it's not all you who's responsible for it, but I got to say, I fucking hate it. Yeah. That's my beef. Good beef. Way to go, dude. Who's your beef of the week, Blastine? I'll tell you guys. You guys ever hear about an airline called JetBlue? Used to be the best. i'll tell you guys uh you guys ever heard hear about um

an airline called jet blue used to be the best man i'll tell you something guys uh if jet blue is listening worse than worse than our experience oh yeah because i was gonna say my beef of the week was united oh well my beef of the week they suck too bro yeah jet go yours i like i generally like jet blue but that's not my beef so go ahead oh they don't they might this is my specific beef you might love them but i fucking hate them i'll tell you why guys uh this uh two days ago i was in newark airport for wait for drum roll 14 hours whoa jesus 14 hours ladies and gentlemen newark. I don't know if anyone has traveled recently, but I don't The Newark Airport looked like it was Thanksgiving Eve.

It was packed out and JetBlue was giving us no info. We literally got there and they were like, okay, it's going to be delayed until 12. We were like, okay, no info. What time was it were you supposed to tell? 7 in the morning. 12, like noon or night?

Noon. That was the first delay. Yeah. First delay. They tease you. First delay. Then I wait in line. There's a line of like maybe 65 people to talk to customer service.

I called JetBlue. They had the audacity to be like, you will be on hold for 317 minutes. What? They said 317 minutes. They did the minutes version? They did the minutes version why not just give you this set you're gonna be on here for 90 000 seconds yeah that's scary that's that's to do what you just did you hang up on me go i don't want to do that so much of their system is just to like fatigue yeah it's probably 13 and customer service dude so i immediately hung up and then

waited in line and then and then i go all right and then i finally got to the end and at the beginning i was like okay what's actually happening and they go oh we don't have any pilots well find some you're a goddamn airline how do you not have pilots isn't that like the first thing you account but it's like going to mcdonald's and then like oh yeah we have no burgers we'll have some get some because they're fucking job especially in new york such a big if it was somewhere, somewhere really small like Chattanooga, you'd be like, cool, I get it. But like, Newark? Pilots are a dime a dozen.

Find some. Find some goddamn pilots. And then I'm like, raging up, I'm like, fuck it, what am I gonna do, whatever. Then, then, I get another email from JetBlue. Hey man, gonna be delayed till 5pm. Huh? 5pm, I'm losing my mind. Waiting in line again. Still no pilots.

And then I'm like, well, I can't do anything. So then I go on goddamn, you know, Orbitz, whatever, try to find another flight. Orbitz. Try to find another flight. No flights.

Zero. And the only other flight was from JFK. And it was like a two, it was like, you know, it would leave at like 3 p.m. instead of 5 p.m. I'm like,

I'm not spending $700 for a two-hour difference. Fuck it. Whatever. So I stay, do work, whatever. Delayed again till 7 p.m. Yeah, like, I'm not spending $700 for a two-hour difference. Fuck it. Whatever. So I stayed, do work, whatever. Delayed again till 7 p.m. Yeah, they keep just putting the ball

farther and farther away from the hole. Exactly. 7 p.m. and then another delay till 8 p.m. I was losing my fucking mind. You know what JetBlue was doing

to help us through it? Giving us Triscuits. Wow. The worst cracker in the world. Triscuits and just mini bottles of water no that's it if you delay my fight dude you better give me hookers that's it or steak and surf and turf thank you and you want everyone to say how do you want your steak cooked or a room to jack off

i think you can those if you know The tip rooms What would you say Those exist Yeah bathroom Just any room Oh yeah good call Yeah well honestly Anywhere I think maybe It's more like

The encouragement Like you can go jack off The stewardess Is like I got you Yeah or You know what I was thinking Honestly I was thinking

You could give everyone Massages Give everyone Don't go around And give them massages But like there's a Spa massage place there Whatever

Just be like You guys get free massages. 300 people at the spa. But in the massage, you get jacked off. There you go. There we go. There you go. So that's my beat of the week. I finally got, you know how we got pilots? There was a flight

that was just canceled or something from JFK. They had to fly a plane from JFK to Newark. I don't know if you guys know where that is. It took them seven minutes to fly there. It's so goddamn close. And they had to fly another plane from JFK to Newark. I don't know if you guys know where that is. It took them seven minutes to fly there. It's so goddamn close. And they had to fly another plane, pilots, whatever. And I was flipping out. Dude, we were talking about this.

It's because the demand right now, everyone wants to travel, but none of these companies were ready to be like fully open. It's in those restaurants. And so they have the infrastructure across the country in every respect. So like every, like I was at the airport,

ATM machine was out of service. They didn't, I couldn't check my bag. You guys weren't even affected by COVID, you idiot. I couldn't check my bag because I was too early. They're like, we don't have the infrastructure to check your bag now. I was like. You know what's funny is you can say the word infrastructure

and I can't challenge it. Like our infrastructure can't handle it. It's just everything. I don't know what to tell you. I was at McCarran airport. I let my buddy take my phone charger because we couldn't agree on whose it was. I'm like, I'll be at the airport.

They were out of phone chargers at the entire airport. Everybody's out of everything. The country was just like, we're kind of in a moment right now where we're like, I'm noticing like things are kind of falling apart. I was at LAX and they had a vending machine. The only drink that was open, there was rows and rows and rows. The only thing that was open was just Bang Energy. And I was like, that's how you know this company. This country is just crumbling when all you have is Bang Energy.

A seven year old, he's like, ah, fuck. Ubers are taking nine hours now. Ubers are so goddamn expensive right now. People don't want to work right now. Well, definitely. We're like, we're open. Let's go get fucked up and lick HPV off a popsicle. So they're just running around town trying to party.

But it's like nobody wants to work. Is it because of the unemployment? They're like just cruising on the unemployment? I think it's a little bit of that. I also think it's like instead of like earlier you're like being trying to be fiscal good work trevor fiscal like save your money but now you're like who gives a fuck if i have 19 in my account that's two drinks at x bar right so they're like let me live a little everyone wants to live and no one wants to facilitate right now yeah which is cool my beef

of the week is kind of a tag team off that because we were coming back this sucks for him double because we were coming back from des moines and we had a it was like a week and a half ago it was a week it was not literally a week not last week it was looking before yeah and we had a connected flight in denver and uh same thing happened we get on the plane to board up and they're like it's gonna be a second and then they're like oh engine issues anytime i say engine issues i get terrified don't tell me tell me tell me the blinker's not working tell me the windshield wipers out of fluid because engine now i'm in my head like fuck even if you do fix it like is it fully fixed so they make this deep plane and then it went from like they pushed it from we were originally supposed to get on at 11 30 but we didn't actually take off until 8 30 and this is on fourth of july i

miss all fourth of july festivities nightmare my friends were fucking eating crawfish out in santa monica getting hammered licking Jaeger off each other's foreheads. So that, but you know what the extra beef is? There's a two-parter here, is United the next day, they're like, don't worry, we'll take care of it. And then they just sent us a $50 voucher for a $500 flight. Is that what they sent? $50. I never even got an email.

$50. Hold on, but did you go on the website? No, they emailed me. Oh. But you can go on the website. $50. I will go on the, oh. That's their way of being like, here, peasantsants you can pay for it all or don't do nothing but my other beef the week uh is going to be the guy we saw at the airport who uh the

longboard guy people who bring their longboards on flights and i know there's probably a big longboard community who listens to your guys podcast so i don't want to be disrespectful because i used to longboard myself growing up it's just it's a little bit too much of a flex of an airport at 7 a.m when you have to go through tsa and then a connecting flight with a longboard and then like you're trying to like put it up in the overhead bins and it's like clinking around everything and you're like oh excuse me where can i just put my sector nine yeah oh in somebody's ass because i'm fucking that chill yeah so i'd be able to leave that guy for being a little too chill and the way way he held it, the guy he had to fit on, he had sunglasses, no mask, AirPods,

cut off shirt, and joggers pulled up to the calf. Oh, dude. This guy was literally a background in Fast and the Furious. This guy was out here. Yeah. Legend. Beef of the Week for being too chill. I didn't have animosity.

He was just a little too chill. That's like bringing a guitar to a party. Guitar guy. Or guitar on the airplane. There was another guy in Denver who would literally had to stay up front he goes i need to find space for my guitar yeah at home where are you fucking going yeah the pilot's like i'll drive it i'll play it let me go yeah it's got a little i got a couple tunes i want to say how many songs are you gonna play unless the guitar i can get because maybe he's touring he's playing music but yeah the skateboard i'm like get an uber yeah where like you know what made

it extra bad for me is i was we were furious i don't like to see joy when i'm furious i need everyone upset when i'm upset yeah so you're long-boarded fucking you know eating alaskan king crab legs and just living your life no be upset because we have to be here for 12 hours don't be happy right yeah it's offensive it is it's offensive on a delayed flight to have a t-shirt and have escape but i get it we're flying to la city of hopes and dreams palm you know palm trees longboards i get it it's true chad who's your babe of the week my babe of the week is the guy who plays bra i should look it up the guy who plays braga in fast and furious 4 oh he's in miami vice john ortiz john ortiz yeah is that right yeah john ortiz i think yeah so i'll watch fast and furious 4 same theater company as uh philip seymour hoffman oh really because he's a beast yeah he's a great actor dude he's a great actor

silver linings playbook too yeah he's very good he might be one of my favorite parts of fast and furious 4 he's great he's great he's like he's like braga came up from el barrio you know and he's just like he really brings the heat in that movie and i just re-watched it and i was like i was like dude braga you know he's a fucking he's a beast i gotta commend this dude and he's good in Miami Vice, too. He's really good. I like how he mixes. This is not casual. Yeah. And I like how he mixes in the Spanish with his English. It's like very, like, he's like letting you know that he's like, you know, from wherever, Mexico.

Or, you know, I assume in the movie, it's Mexico. But also, I don't know. It's just like. No, he's really great. He's a great actor. He's got great versatility, too. Because in those movies, he's playing like a, you know, like a kind of outlaw. Alaw heavy boss yeah but then several lines playbook he's like a bedraggled husband right and he nails both yeah yeah he's great in several lines playbook dude that guy's john ortiz shout out that's a good call i love watching you man

that's it is this baby we're supposed to be like hot people or just like you like these people it's basically interchangeable with legend at this point but yeah initially it started as hot people and then we felt like we were like, how about just like everything? Yeah. But John Ortiz is a babe. Because my friend's girlfriend was like, well, why can't guys be babes and girls be legends? And I was like, oh, that's a good point. And then I was like, let's just mix it up.

So what are the other categories we're dabbling in? Just babe and legend. Got you. Okay, cool. Okay, cool. I almost combined the two. You can though. Okay.

Oh, yeah. This would be crazy if they're like you can't do that that'd be insane no yeah it's their podcast they can do whatever the fuck they can literally beat my ass right now i would never do that give us good ratings yeah i hope so my baby of the week is a betty gilpin the actress from a glow which she's amazing and then i just watched the hunt which was a really fun movie and she's freaking awesome in that she's super badass and believable and uh yeah that lady just crushes it and everything she acts and i think i think she might be like top five ten favorite actresses i just want to get more parts because she's good in everything yeah um and then i thought about her because she

was in tomorrowland the new uh chris pratt movie but that movie tomorrow war whatever that piece of shit is from the first frame it's really bad I was out I was out dude the first frame like the CGI is just horrible

it's like Chris Pratt falling and you're just like I'm already done Pratt falling oh dude nice pun dude way to connect that there we go

do you have your baby of the week yeah so my baby of the week is Emma Stone oh dude legend nice bro

from Cruella yeah Cinderella which Bro. From Cruella? Yeah. Cinderella? Which one is it? Cruella. I don't think that's out yet, but I watched, you guys ever seen the movie Battle of the Sexes? Yeah.

The one where she plays Billie Jean King? Bobby Jean King? Yeah. Billie Jean? Yeah. Billie Jean King? I just look, any podcast I look at a producer because I feel like they just know everything. Aaron does know everything.

Dude, you look like you know so much shit. knows um you just billy bobby bob billy billy jean king um bobby riggs yeah yes yes exactly um thank you sir uh he's this guy's so hot beast all right he's the best have you guys seen the movie i don't think so parts um why don't you look at me dude well you don't watch movies dude I've seen seven movies in my entire life at most you've seen seven but the movie

I I thought the movie was good I wasn't like enthralled by the movie but she she's so good in everything I've seen also

she she plays this like she has like bigger glasses and kind of hair in front of her face there's something hot when I'm like I know what's under there right and there's something about she had this like she has like bigger glasses and kind of hair in front of her face there's something hot when i'm like i know what's under there right and there's something about she had this like confidence because she was like you know a great tennis player in the movie um and she had her like

her her mouth this sounds odd but bear with me her mouth is weird but in the hottest way possible i don't know if you guys have really zoned in on her mouth but it's so... I don't know what it is. It's almost like she looks like a little bit... You want to kiss her. Yes!

You want to kiss her. I want to kiss her. Give her kisses. I don't want... Yes, I do want to fuck her. Of course, guys. But I'm just saying I want to make pumpkin pie with her.

I don't want to degrade her. I do want to degrade her. No, I know that. You know what I mean? But you want to don't want to degrade her i do want to degrade her i know that you know what i mean but you want to trust her before you degrade her yes yes i want to like do mad libs with her and of course you want to get to that extreme point at some point of course but you want to start off very cuddly and yes i just it's just something about her eyes and and they dance with intelligence oh man and the character she played the character she played i was like i want to play tennis with this woman and then we're wearing tennis skirts here we go my favorite week is uh kevin o'leary from shark tank dude mr wonderful yes dude he's just fucking he's just well i also think it's you know i've

been watching a lot of shark tank lately it's shark week right now there's a lot of best show ever dude there's a lot of shark energy going out right now so i kind of just figured it's only right to honor one of the og sharks hell yeah yeah. And I love his entrepreneur hand placement. And, uh, he plays devil's advocate, advocate, but he, but you know,

he's like, he hit, he's nice to you, but he's fucking you over and he's staring at you right in the heart. And it's like, you know, I want a girl like that, that just fucking,

they're giving it to you, but they're not. And you're like, what's going on? Nice. And he'll tell people, like this company needs to get taken out. Well,

he also talks shit about, yeah, he talks shit about all of his other, uh, I guess coworkers, co-host sharks. Yeah. Co-hosts. Sharks, yeah. And I'm like, why would you ever take the deal?

It's a terrible deal. I'm giving you the best deal of your lifetime right now. And he puts people under pressure, and I like that. So he's kind of the baby of the week, just because mainly it's Shark Week. If it wasn't Shark Week, I don't think he'd be baby of the week. But great show. I love the show. I believe him.

I believe him. He's bald. He's stressed out. He's done business. He's done big deals. He's a stressed, bald-out man wearing a suit. You could tell me that Jesus was actually

an octopus, and I'd be like, bro, I believe you. He was. He was. That's why he walked on water because he was in water. Guys, let's go.

Nice. That's my birthday. I could believe an octopus. Octopus? We think they're smart. They got big domes. Yeah. They change colors.

They're next level. They do be changing colors. Who's your legend? the shrooms of the sea whoa we did mushrooms aliens yeah who's your legend of the week chat uh my legend of the week is richard branson there we go i don't know if you guys caught the space flight over the weekend better one than anywhere everyone he was out here a lot a lot of people thought it was kind of anticlimactic because they're just like you're still in the stratosphere bro um but you know but whatever dude i love first off i like richard branson he seems like a really cool dude

and i love that he's like i'm going to space and i'm gonna make space tourism a thing and he did it and uh that fires me up because i want to go to space i want to do that so bad so uh thank you richard branson for you know being the first billionaire to make it to space i love uh he's just a maverick i i really respect that about him and good looking head of hair too good looking head of hair smiling with those billionaire teeth the whole time just like launching up you just would you risk all your billions to go to space fuck yeah he would and uh did you see the mechanism too of the virgin spaceship so they went on like a like a basically like an engine that you know like a bigger plane that took them up right took them up to super high. I don't know the altitude.

And then the smaller ship that they're all in detaches. I did see that. Yeah. Basically falls, and then the engine kicks in, and it launches. It launches like this and then shoots off. Yeah. Pretty.

That moment of free fall? Yeah. That moment of free fall, that's living right there. And you see he's kind of nervous. That's edging right there. Fucking a whole knot. Yeah. You're like,'re just fucking not he's not in the space he's space not he's kind of nervous for it he's like and then as soon as they start going he's like the fact that it's all documented i wouldn't want it to be documented i'd get a selfie up there but

i don't want to see the sheer panic on my face right right right get the selfie that part out yeah or do like what you do when you go scott you have like a little gopro that's like shaking you can't see full emotions yeah smart my legend of the week is the movie the founder with michael keaton oh hell yeah by john lee hancock i think written by the guy who wrote the wrestler and used to run the onion so that guy's a beast um but i think that's a better movie so it's about the guy who kind of stole the idea of mcdonald's from these two brothers and then turn it into, you know, love it. The massive institution that it is today. True.

But I think it's a better movie about like American greed and like our need for success and, and like the kind of dark side of the American dream, then there will be blood. And I always think people point to there will be blood is like the best example of that. I don't dig that movie that much. I remember when I saw it,

the arc, like the night, the night it came out, everyone stood up and clapped afterwards. And I was like, I don't get it dude like i think daniel d louis obviously amazing commitment some beautiful set pieces but to me the founder is a much better movie about all those same ideas so yeah that's my big swing against the uh cinematic intelligentsia i think y'all are way off base i think you got to go founder dude it's so good and the way he

over the the original mcdonald's yeah because you're kind of rooting for him but then like you see the cost of it too and then you're like what is like the right i mean obviously he's kind of an asshole but it's compelling and michael keaton's perfect because he's kind of a squirrely dude yeah and he also steals that wife too yeah he has his starter wife and then he's like you know what i'm just i actually i think i deserve this too yeah what are you saying i, I mean, I love the movie, but if that movie portrayed who he actually was, what a nightmare of a human.

Oh, for sure. Because at some point, there's got to be levels, right? There's levels to taking over. It's like you just destroy dreams, and you destroy dreams, and you destroy dreams. At some point, you're like, hey, man, relax. You got to keep going. You got to give these guys a better percentage well he's not a person he's just like a function you

know what i mean he just is like he's just what he's pursuing it's almost like a like a no country for old men anton chigurh people are like oh he's not a person he's just like uh he's just like the embodiment of like uh the universe just killing off things yeah god yeah i mean that's you know well put i just like i i can't believe not you know what i can believe that exists i just can't i can't i can't understand that in you do i yeah no not a little bit not a little bit no not even when you're horny uh this is this hold on i'll tell you why he's always horny so i'll tell you why because i believe in karma and i believe that and maybe if i didn't i might have the capacity for it um but i like i feel like if i do anything negative towards somebody in like an egregious way it's coming back it's coming back at me true fucking force that's a good way to think

yeah yeah and also like i was raised uh you know catholic and god and that whole thing so i'm like It's coming back on you. It's coming back at me full fucking force. That's a good way to think. Yeah. Yeah. And also like I was raised you know Catholic and God and that whole thing so I'm like you know that whole like McDonald's is bigger than God. It is.

It is. It is God. They're up there. I mean the arches The arches is pretty Yeah. They say God is everywhere and also McDonald's

is everywhere too. Right. Amen. Who's your legend of the week? Oh shit. Oh my legend of the week is uh me what am i should have done that um no my buddy akash singh is oh dude i saw you at that wedding i wanted to ask you about that yeah it was it was i've never been to an indian wedding before it was just it was beautiful it was beautiful man and the reason that he he's just always a legend but one of my best friends of comedy and he made me this is a big reversal of what of what we talked

about on trevor and i's podcast about marriage because i just was i'm for the idea of getting married i'm not for the idea of uh weddings i just thought they were like court paper sign it just i just the whole like hey come watch me get married go fuck yourself just go why do you need everybody else but i will say that this wedding made me turn that idea man because we were in the temple and we were all in an indian garb and i was we were sitting on the floor and just it was the first wedding that i ever been to that i was like oh i it clicked me i go oh dude like they have so much love that they want to give us love and that was it just that's how i felt like they were doing the

whole ceremony and i'm like this is not for them this is for a lot of involvement for you guys i feel like yeah it's not just like sit down watch some people say some things and then yeah well you're wearing like the traditional indian garb too he was fitted but but not just like sit down and watch some people say some things. And then, yeah, you're wearing like the traditional Indian garb too. He was fitted. But, but it just like we were sitting there, but it didn't. It was the only one that I've been to that didn't feel like, look at me, look at me. It felt like we have this bond and we want to share this bond with you. It was the only time I've ever felt.

And I was like, oh, this is what maybe other weddings were trying to do and other cultures are trying to do, but this is the first time that I keyed in. I was like, oh, this is fucking beautiful. That's awesome. And just the whole pageantry of the event felt honest and it felt beautiful. And yeah, I had such a good time.

And yeah, big shout out to Akash and his beautiful wife, Justine. And I'm very happy for them. And yeah, Legend of the Week, dude. Let's go. That's awesome. It looked like a lot of fun. Oh, my.

Goodness gracious, it was so fun. That's awesome. I don't know how I'm going to be able to follow that. Who's your Legend of the Week? I got two. One of them is a gas station on the way to Palm Springs that sold Dippin' Dots.

Dude, hell yeah. That's far. I hadn't had dip and dots in so long and they had and they had like a full like its own dedicated freezer for it and uh they had all the flavors and i'll tell you what i got chocolate malt and i just i felt youth and i just felt some youth again yeah it felt good and it was also 112 degree weather and i was just you know just chowing them down it was really good also, legend of the week would probably be the guy who bought me an espresso martini at the restaurant in Palm Springs. And he said, you've done great work this pandemic.

You've brought a lot of smiles to people's faces. Oh, that's nice. And it was espresso martini. So he fired me up. I'm all about getting fired up while drinking. That's beautiful. Yeah. You know, so Dippin' Dots and espresso martinis are kind of the legend of the weeks and the people behind that who made those things possible

Too strong with three strong legends from y'all dude. Isn't it interesting that like certain? Compliments from people you take them any like I mean, thank you so much Boba, but there's certain ones that are just given I'm gonna use this word again, but given so honestly that it did it like tree it affects you You're like, oh oh man like you not that other people don't don't uh like believe it but you're like wow man like the way you articulate that or the way the energy you're giving me with the emotion you feel it well it's also the extra step somebody can be like hey i love your work and you're like oh wow that's very nice of you but it's i love you your work this is what your work meant to me right yeah actually right we were talking about this and i know we gotta wrap this up but we were talking about this like in that san diego show we did how people throw like so many like backhanded

compliments yeah and i just think the funniest one ever was i was talking to a guy who was a fan of your guys at the san diego show we did and he's talking to me after i think i told you about it and the guy was like yeah man i started watching your videos you know i got put on to them by watching your guy's stuff and talking about you you guys yeah and then he's like yeah man and uh and and me just kind of like the guy was hammered i was like yeah for sure man you know i'm just i'm just trying to do my best you know they're not all hits and he goes yeah what is that and i it just i love the honesty about being like but then he got really like and he was hammered he's a san diego bro and he's like yeah man but you know what you're like smart enough to to know

that that's a real businessman to know that not everything is going to be a man but you know what you're like smart enough to to know that that's a real businessman to know that not everything is going to be a hit but just the what is that part was just so funny but he he was like so stoked that i was like somebody who was conscious enough to know that not everything i'm gonna do is gonna be a fucking home run right right you gotta have a couple foul balls and a couple you know pop flies so it was just so funny for him to just be like yeah man i'm getting there i'm getting there but what is that and i just what is that is so nothing more humbling than just the what is that but then you but but then again it's like inside baseball you're like you're just talking to a guy who only has a glimpse of like he just sees the outside of what you put out there

so i was just like you know man hey it is what it is totally this is very funny chad what's your quote of the week uh my quote of the week comes from the song rock star by Nickelback there we go my favorite line lyric I'll have the quesadilla uh-uh nice cuz I'm through with standing in lines the clubs never getting down and then there's like that guy underneath it all he's like so tell me what you want but then there's one part where he just goes i'll have the quesadilla really yeah and i'm like i don't yeah i don't think it's chad kroger either it's not it's not chad kroger it's some other studio vocalist that they brought in to say that you know what i think i think they wrote a bunch

of other lines but i think he was he's trying to get lunch and they're like actually and he's like yeah of the quesadilla uh-huh that's great and they're like that actually sounds really good in the song that in there in case it is the right item of food too totally always hits yeah um my quote of the week is from a dude i met at the blackjack table in las vegas and i went back to the circa where we stayed when we went with the circus yeah just to gamble because i just like the vibe there so much and the people they're a little like the people they're a little more like uh laid back than the people you see at like the the casinos on the strip yeah in my small sample size that's what i've noticed and then this dude had the best vibe it's my favorite part of vegas just when you're at the tables and you just start like really grooving with the people you're playing

with and my brother got 16 and i think the dealer was holding eight so the book's a little uncertain on what you do there. And the guy just comes in and he goes, look, it's like I told my son in little league, you always swing at a strike. You always hit on 16. That's the way you got to live your fucking life. And me and my brother were like, you're the fucking man, dude. We hit, I don't even remember if we won the hand, but that whole vibe, I was like, dude,

thank you for being here in this moment with me and forgiving me that. And yeah, he was just a great guy. His son was doing uh i don't know what his son was doing but he's working on a concert and he was like yeah we stayed up till sun break today and now we've just been gambling all night and i was like dude i love it everyone's just there to just talk it's a great vibe uh but yeah he was a legend um what's your quote of the week um okay so i'm i've been kind of doing a deep dive do you guys know uh navall i don't know how to say yeah he's great yeah dude he's his instagram always has good quotes the dude who was on a he's on rogan he was on rogan like a couple years ago but he was on this podcast recently called uh he was almost like one of my quotes of the week this week oh really yeah

yeah he was on uh god what's it called the knowledge project and my my girl put me on to him i didn't know who he was and i'd literally just been doing a deep dive in the sky he's he's he's incredible and there was a quote that he said that i'm gonna find right now okay so he said be authentic to escape competition find what you know how to do better than anybody because you love to do it and it feels like play and get to retirement. The piece of that that I love so much that I have tried and have failed and then have tried again is the idea of what you... Essentially, everybody is authentic, right? And the only way to like be the best at something is just to be authentic.

And that sounds so simple, but that idea for me and just like, it hit home for me because with standup, like I felt like I was very authentic in the beginning. And then I tried to be another comic and try to be like the hold a mic stand guy. And then I found, or, you know, I have tried to find in the last couple of years to be like the hold the mic stand guy. And then I found, or, you know, I, I have tried to find in the last couple of years to be like the most

authentic. And then in doing that, I felt like I kind of found how I wanted to do comedy. Yeah. All of this is chiseling. You know, everybody is like three. It's like you,

you get results back in 23 million. You're like, I'm 3% Anthony Jessel. I'm like, I'm 3% Bill Burr. I'm 3% Bill Burr. But it's just like it's just all this kind of chiseled up into one person. But at the end of the day, it's just all through your point of view. So it's not even like you're like a certain comedian, but it's just like trying to be over here shaped you to be over here.

No, exactly. And it's like I feel like nobody – and Trevor, we've talked about this before. It's like, certain like, oh, have someone talked about this overall idea or this overall idea about X, right? And it's like, yeah, maybe the umbrella topic hasn't been talked about. But like, if I talk about pretzels

and you talk about pretzels, just because I'm different than you, it will be a different thing. Start to finish will be way different. Yeah, it will be a different start to finish. It'll be a different fucking thing. And I think, um, if you lean into just being, you know,

trying to find out what separates you, it's the only way that's going to like, you'll find financial freedom. You'll find, um, you know, love for yourself and, and bring in,

you know, love from the outside. So I, that, that quote and i forget what podcast it was i think it might have been on the knowledge project but i was like fuck that like just really hit home for me so yeah there it is again hard to follow but this is a quote i saw on tiktok and this guy was just living his best fucking life and uh i think it's fourth of july weekend this guy yelled it out and i've never seen somebody so happy i think it was 4th of July weekend. This guy yelled it out. And I've never seen somebody so happy. I think he was a Southern boy.

And he said, cheers to pussy and gunpowder. Live by one, die by the other. And I love the smell of both. Fuck that flyer. So I think he fucks and then just offs himself with a gun. Yeah. It's a beautiful way to go. I think that's the ultimate way to edge yourself, actually.

I don't know. I think I was was so happy and he did toast with it and and he he had that one in the catalog and he let her rip and he didn't stutter he didn't miss a word he he nailed it and i think they had a really good fourth of july because of that i love that hell yeah and that guy's doing nothing but being authentic to himself and working auto zone Of course. Those guys will fix your shit up quick. Hell yeah. Oh yeah, or scam you. Oh yeah. The thing's cheap,

so who cares? Yeah. What's your phrase of the week for getting after it, Chad? For getting after it? Phrase of the week for getting after it? I don't know.

What? The phrase of the week should have been that one. I know a phrase that should have been that one. Fuck. I'm going to double down. That was a good phrase

you can run it back baby run it back run it back dude not to tip our hat but it might be coming out let's see do you want us to come back let's all do wall sits

oh nice let's all do wall sits yeah you might get the tea flowing my uncle does wall sits before you rage like if we're at a restaurant and they're like yeah it's gonna be about 25 minutes for a table he just does wall sits. Before you rage. Like, if we're at a restaurant, and they're like, yeah, it's going to be about 25 minutes

for a table, he just does wall sits. Hell yeah, dude. I love it. And they do it faster. They're like, right this way, sir. I met your parents, too, at Jammin'. They're, like, the sweetest. They're great people.

They're the best. They're very sweet people. Yeah. The best. They believe in me. Your dad is just like, hey, how's it going? And my dad's, like, in, like, he, like, Liz Varkirsi through me, so he's, like, definitely watches how's it going? And my dad's like in, like he like Liz Vicarcy through me. So he's like definitely watches your guys' videos.

Like he like knows, like he'll like see people that have been in my videos. But yeah, I loved you and so-and-so. He's like. That's awesome. He hangs with the crew. He's a fan. He's into it. Yeah.

That's awesome. Yeah. I think he's like literally like, I think he sent me a video of you guys. Oh, that's nice. Dude, Legend of the Week, Ron Wallace is my dad. Yeah. Love it. Ron.

Ron's a good dad name. Ron's the only dad name that should exist yeah all dads are ron yeah dude do you just become a ron are you ron dad yeah i can't wait till that's a good term dude he's ronning he's a ron now a ron oh congrats man yeah you ditched the a whoa it's the a isn't it funny that when you look at someone pregnant you're like yo dude busted in you sorry guys go ahead i think that uh my uh my phrase of the week for getting after it and i'm not gonna read it out because i don't think i'll do it justice on several levels but it's the uh the hook from the song nothing by uh nor i almost said nor ray do you remember

that song no all right i might have to say it now just to get you guys on board, but it's home boy. I came to party. Your girl was looking at me. Oh yeah. She's a Hagrid. No, I'm not tagging it,

but she don't want them boys to come over and start asking you what you want to do. Nothing. What you trying to do? Nothing. Oh, like, and like,

it's a very aggressive sentiment, but that song is just, anytime it comes on, you adopt its energy and you just, you just start throwing your arms out like this. And you're like, yeah, you don't want to, you don't want to get in trouble with me, bro. You don't want to deal with this. And I like that energy.

Um, I love it. Thanks, man. So this happened to me in DC. And I think about, I'm not even shitting you. Uh, once a day, there's this woman i walked in after a show i walked into uh this like it was like super late um and it was this uh burger place and as i walk in it's like my name is like two in the morning long ass line i walk in and she goes well i'm the queen of dc that's pretty solid and walked in, and I saw who she was.

Just the most confident woman I've ever come across. And she kept saying that as she's ordering. And it just brought so much joy to me. Because I'm like, that's the happiness and the confidence of someone to just yell, I'm the Queen of D.C. I'll have a burger. Because you know why? Because I'm the Queen of D.C. I'll have a burger. Because you know why? Because I'm the queen of D.C., that's why.

Did she get a burger? She got a burger. She got a burger and fries, but the order took so long because she kept saying yes because I'm the queen of D.C. And to announce to a room full of people that you're the queen of a major city in America, I'm just like, I want to adopt that.

The capital. The capital of Americaica and you're the queen if you're the queen you're the capital i mean you're the queen of america queen of america yeah i just was like i want to i want to be you on a consistent basis i want to look in the mirror and see her nice yeah uh phrase a week i might have to hit my phrase a week because uh i really enjoyed the video you guys did in vegas and i might just have to say we found love in a hopeless place oh no oh thanks rihanna at the end that was chad's idea to do that that was oh good thing yeah it just like i i tell michael this a lot ago as a comedian a lot of times you see something

that's like you're so desensitized to laughing out loud you'll just say that's funny and i was watching you go this is great oh thanks this is great so yeah no i thought that was like the icing on the cake so thanks dude yeah i wasn't gonna sing the jobs i know you should do rihanna no it is your idea to sing but i think you guys both crushed it dude yeah oh yeah that's right yeah no you guys both crushed it those are so goddamn funny thanks man um all right dudes well guys we should do plugs though oh let's plug yeah long long awaited michael and i have a podcast stiff socks podcast great podcast thank you thank you chad did an episode we'll get you guys both on soon uh yeah we can also do a solo jt episode

where you talk about i'd love to come home with my dog yeah oh let's do it it's just an hour of us being like why don't you fuck till you're 24 stiff socks podcast everywhere we just started all the girls i know yeah right yeah we just started our new youtube channel because it used to be on my youtube and now it's all solo all right he's all grown up now i noticed that yeah is that a good move like a lot of anxiety yeah because i uh i am still freaking out but i think it's gonna work but it's But in the long run, in the long run, that's what you should do, right? Yeah.

Well, we went 120 some episodes and then switched over without telling the advertisers. And they were like, why'd you guys use drop? And we're like, we're on a new channel. Right.

Because I just wanted to associate the two because, you know, they're both two entities. It's like, this is bigger than just a podcast on Trevor Wallace's YouTube. Right. It's like, it's its own entity.

So I knew we had to eventually do it but in the beginning i was like it makes more sense to just be like if you already have a platform introduce it to them and then disperse you know it's like like a bird you know you grow it at the nest and then it learns to fly you don't just be like throw it out the nest at birth and then it you know hits the ground and doesn't do anything so when is your hair gonna get its own channel uh probably 2022 nice yeah i do want to come out with my own pomade at some point in life i think that's fucking crushed cbd pomade i'm jealous i didn't think cbd pomade with charcoal in it hell yeah dude i just you got you have to put some chai tea in there and then just matcha cbd charcoal pomade let's go crush with

yerba mate in it let's go anything else you guys want to plug just really that man uh i got some show when's this coming out you're going on a tour right i got a bunch of shows coming up but i'm gonna be in huntington if you got some some bros in huntington when's like this is probably gonna come out in a couple weeks all right well uh guys well if you're in ohio or oklahoma or spokane, Washington or San Diego, just go to TrevorWallsComedy.com. If you're in Ohio or Florida, go to BlauComedy.com for tickets.

That's B-L-A-U. B-L-A-U Comedy. Hell yeah. Well, guys, man, thank you for having me, man. I had a fucking blast, man. It was great hanging with you guys. This was fun. We've got to do it again soon. Let's do it. You guys should come on ours. Let's go. What with you guys this was fun we gotta do it again soon let's do it you guys should come on ours let's go

alright what are you guys doing tomorrow? jack it up yeah edging I'm edging peace if you need advice

these guys are really nice you wanna know What to do and where to go When you need someone to guide you Who's nice enough to close beside you Go in deep Go in deep Let's go

Go with me Try to take Tea