Going Deep with Chad and JT - EP 198- Chad and JT

Episode Date: August 4, 2021

This week, Chad and JT discuss dongs, childhood, and Tobey Maguire.     Sign up for new merch here: http://www.shopcgd.com​​​​​​​​​​   Visit mackweldon.com/gode...ep for 20% off your first order by using code "godeep"   Sponsored by Manscaped: Get 20% Off and Free Shipping with the code GODEEP20 at Manscaped.com. If you wanna trim your pubes during a contagion

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Starting point is 00:00:00 What's up Stokers and Stoknations, this is Chad Croker coming in. Before we begin this podcast, I want to let you know that we are brought to you by Fruit Smash. Fruit Smash, keep drinking the fruit, so mash, and keep getting it in your belly and feeling good. We are also brought to you by the Allegiance at Manscaped. Manscaped, thank you so much for keeping our trims pubed, for looking after our hogs, for making sure their dinks are looking fresh and clean. Because attention, listeners across the galaxy, all the way from Australia to Houston,
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Starting point is 00:01:02 with the code GODIP. We're also brought to you by Helix Beer Bongs. Get your Helix Beer Bong today at shopcgd.com. Now let's start the show. What's real deep? Going deep. Chatting JT. He was a super,
Starting point is 00:01:32 I think people who are already skeptical of the government, it's really been intensified in them over the last year. Yeah. Cause there has been so much control. Yeah. Some of which I think was justified, but, or a lot of, I thought was justified,
Starting point is 00:01:41 but at this point I'm, I'm, I think we have to be through with that yeah I just think it's exhausting where does it end you just gotta live your life I mean if you're going around paranoid about the government all the time
Starting point is 00:01:54 it's like I think it ruins your life like there's no you gotta do you gotta focus on what you're doing I agree like what can you change yeah and maybe you could change posting about getting the word out and you're like but i yeah go run for office do something like that yeah start your own state right
Starting point is 00:02:18 i mean yeah go ahead like there we could actually talk about that on the pod. I read an interesting New York Times article about how the problem with the United States is we need more states. Oh, yeah. Because we're so stuck in this system anyways with the arranged amount of delegates. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:02:35 And like, you know, so we always know how voting's going to go. And basically the amount of states we have doesn't reflect like our cultural trends. So if we just broke it up into like another 20 states right maybe we're due for a shake-up like that that'd be interesting yeah i thought it was a pretty good idea but i mean we are like maybe we could save it for the pod i'm rolling on everything so we can go yeah we can keep this yeah uh we are like a bunch of different countries
Starting point is 00:03:03 bundled together we're like europe except we're states yeah you know because like europe it's like you got you got england france spain whatever they're all different different cultures and stuff and you could argue the same thing for america you go to like texas versus california oh different worlds florida yeah i mean well and geographically it's the same amount of space too we're such a big country yeah when i went to new england totally different i mean i mean the amount of uh the amount of pastel i saw i've never seen that much pastel i was like this is a brand new country it's a different world yeah yeah clam chowder and pastel well that's the thing i was thinking clam chowder like if you look at new england clam chowder versus manhattan clam chowder yeah couldn't be more different they're different colors and you expect people who believe in those different kinds of clam chowder versus Manhattan clam chowder, couldn't be more different. They're different colors.
Starting point is 00:03:45 And you expect people who believe in those different kinds of clam chowder to agree on the same policies regarding like our economy? Like that's kind of a reach, bro. That's huge. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, if you can't agree on the color of your clam chowder, how do you expect to agree on guns?
Starting point is 00:03:59 You can't. That's a good point. Yeah. You want to kick it off yeah i don't think you're ready for this jelly i don't think you're ready for this jelly i don't think you're ready for this because my body's too bootylicious for you babe what's up stokers of stoke nation this is Chad Kroger coming in with the Going Deep with Chad and JT podcast. I'm here with my compadre, Jean-Thomas, what up?
Starting point is 00:04:30 Boom clap Stokers. And we are here in the studio. Yes sir. Julie's gonna be pissed because she wants that light on in the back. How do you turn it on? Yeah, let me turn it on. She texted me last time she's i thought she was like she texted me like a photo a photo of like a screenshot of youtube and like our podcast and i thought it's gonna be like your podcast came up
Starting point is 00:04:53 that's so awesome and then i realized it was a video and she's like turn on the fucking light i was like oh okay yeah nice well thank you julie thank you for the reminder yeah happy to have it on it's giving us a nice glow. You're the best, Julie. I'm wearing this shirt. This is Leo and Romeo and Juliet. I'm wearing it to spite Aaron right now because he hated on the Romeo and Juliet from 95. Yeah, you posted about it yesterday.
Starting point is 00:05:15 What happened there? Well, I just shared a meme that said, keep in mind this was a movie that was made about Shakespeare and it was a picture of all the guys in the movie. And then I went back and looked at IMDb because i was like who who's in this thing again are you mad that jamie kennedy was in it no no no i don't know i've met jamie's cool guy um yeah no it's just like it's baz luhrmann is a great cinematographer and production designer i don't know that he should be directing movies
Starting point is 00:05:46 ever he's got some bad habits in his head yeah it can get a little overstimulated at times yeah but dude i don't know i think it's a killer movie yeah i think you would that dude i i do i do that's what subtly ad hominem and it holds a special place in my heart because i'm on an outdoor date there my outdoor movie date see it i mean it's because I went on an outdoor date there. Outdoor movie date to see it. I mean, you have to. I went on an outdoor movie date with Babona, the coach from UCI baseball. If you're a young buckaroo, go play ball there. To see Romeo and Juliet?
Starting point is 00:06:13 We watched it when we were in our 20s. We went to Los Feliz and watched it outside with a couple of pops. Oh, dude, nice. Yeah, I was in Hollywood. We got a bottle of champagne. It was super romantic. My wife's favorite movie is Moulin Rouge. So I'm in this camp already, but like you do it for the ladies, but that movie's not
Starting point is 00:06:30 good. Well, Moulin Rouge is too much for me. Like Roxanne, I'm just like the intensity of it. Although I do think Elephant Love Medley is just beautiful. Also interesting. They wanted it to be Heath Ledger in that movie, but he was too young. Yeah. But dude, Romeo and Juliet, the soundtrack.
Starting point is 00:06:43 Amazing. Soundtrack's good. What about this one of my favorite scenes of all time when leo and claire danes who are both angelic in it see each other through the fish tank and that song by des ray plays the music does a lot and the camera's just tracking them i mean he's in the movie apparently oh really is she the one singing at the at the show i'm not sure just i saw her in the crest and then but dude i mean i don't know if the movie overall works but some of the scenes are just perfect paul rudd crushes paul rudd's so good that space uh
Starting point is 00:07:10 space astronaut suit just being a douche his smile when he sees her and he's like so like uh his coif yeah and he's like two gallon in a way that feels super corny yeah yeah uh dude i love i love that movie and also i have to admit though great gatsby i was really stoked for that and then it came out and i was like oh this is a bummer oh yeah boz sucks now yeah yeah that movie sucked the soundtrack also he's good at soundtracks yeah but um yeah great gatsby was bad the acting was ridiculous and like i don't know the typewriter letters like falling and stuff that and the when they drove into into New York city and it was just like all these colors and he's like,
Starting point is 00:07:48 they're on the road. It's not real cars, obviously. Yeah. Yeah. I love Leo. Leo's sick. What'd you think of Toby in that movie?
Starting point is 00:07:57 McGuire as he was, he was Nick Carraway. Yeah, there it is. I was calling Billy Calloway. Yeah, he was good. I liked Toby mcguire you know he doesn't pop up in stuff much either yeah he does a movie like every five years because he's too busy
Starting point is 00:08:10 playing poker at night and yeah you know breaking mortgage lenders who have the the tenacity to come at him yeah or the temerity yeah uh but no i liked him in it i like to mcguire he's kind of a weird guy because he always plays like a a softy you know what i mean he's always kind of doe-eyed and like really sweet and then you know he's not like that off camera so that's why it's kind of interesting but i i like it when he plays something weirder like in wonder boys he's like this weird writer college kid yeah and he's kind of creepy and and uh manipulative and i liked him a lot in that right yeah uh yeah i liked him in uh spider man 3 when they let him show his bad boy side. That was really funny. You guys know what I'm talking about?
Starting point is 00:08:45 Dude, when he's walking down the street being a bad boy, his finger pistols and that are unmatched. I dressed up for that. Me and a couple of buddies dressed up for that. Oh, you did? We were in junior college. We didn't have a lot going on on the weekend. And so we used to just put on some outfits and go see movies. And I remember my friend JD that I was with, who was super jacked.
Starting point is 00:09:00 He looked hilarious in his Spider-Man costume. When it got to that scene, he goes, what is this, the mask? super jacked he looked hilarious in his spider-man costume when it when it got to that scene he goes what is this the mask dude and then um uh oh what's it called fuck oh we're gonna dress up for top gun too that's the first movie we're gonna dress up for in a long time so what are we going we're going with flight suits flight suits yeah for sure and then uh dude other interesting thing about spider-man 3 they had like a really good novelist michael chabon help on the second one yeah great last name and he said on the third one they made them put more bad guys in it so they could sell more merch so he didn't want to add in like sandman or whatever and they're like no we need more bad guys because then we can we can
Starting point is 00:09:38 move more toys at we can have more at mcdonald's exactly dude i remember those happy meals growing up i was i was always so psyched on them actually my favorite was taco bell when taco bell took on batman the one with arnold schwarzenegger yeah dude i remember these dude that was the best that was the best that taco bell theme batman theme was i got so many mexican pizzas with arnold just staring back at me i was dragging my parents to it all the time yeah i always like those i was like the gizmos in those movies yeah and so like as those movies got worse they had more gizmos so i kind of liked it more james bond has the same kind of corollary yeah and i remember i'd always get home and draw what my batman gizmos would be what would they be it was just like a cooler car and then like i thought he should have more guns too right i was always kind of like it
Starting point is 00:10:21 always felt a little tedious to me that he didn't have a handgun. Yeah, like he's... I mean, it's kind of his whole thing. Right. That would be funny if he's just like, fuck it. But I'm watching... That's the DC Batman. He just shoots people. Really? Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:10:33 That's cool. Not the Robert Pattinson one, but the Ben Affleck one. Just shoots people. When's that coming out? Robert Pattinson? They had to postpone it a little bit. That's going to be cool, though. Pattinson's a beast.
Starting point is 00:10:43 Yeah, he is a beast. He has a gun in the bat symbol. it's the gun that killed his parents oh nice is the bat symbol on his chest his jawline is incredible yeah it really stokes me out i uh do i have a to circle back to you came out with bootylicious i have an interesting story from my past about that which is a little bit tragic but i've grown from it so it's okay when i was in a seventh grade that was like the most popular song and uh and i was at a party and that song came on and i think i've told this story before i pulled my shorts up like into like looking like uh i was wearing a jockstrap or something like that to make everyone laugh. An older girl at the party, Jessica, said that she saw my dick and that it was super little. And that's all anybody talked about for the rest of the party, like 40 kids.
Starting point is 00:11:32 Really? And then I was just outside kind of bummed out. And this guy was like quasi friends with me. He came over and he's like, what's up, dude? So I'm just chilling. He's like, Jessica's telling everyone you got a little dick. And I was like, it's not true. It's totally true.
Starting point is 00:11:46 And then he was like, are you going to say anything and i was like it's not true it's totally true and then i and then he was like are you gonna say anything i was like nah and then i remember last song i was slow dancing with this girl brennan and i was just so sad because she had a crush on my friend hunter so she was sad yeah and then i was sad that everyone there had i thought i had a little dank yeah and it was like the uh just most melancholy slow dance of my life. Right. And then I came to school on Monday and her boyfriend wanted to kick my ass. Nice. Because I like grabbed her butt when we were dancing or something like that.
Starting point is 00:12:15 Right. Should I cut that? No. No. You're young. Yeah. It was a bad move. I regret it.
Starting point is 00:12:22 But... You gotta learn. He was a badass too he like he beat the shit out of someone in high school he like broke the guy's ribs he was cool wow and then uh he came up to me at school and he's like what's up dude and i was like what's up dude yeah and he would have murdered me yeah he was like you know i'm really pissed off about what you did but i'm not gonna beat the shit out of you because i like you so just don't do it again bro and i was like thank you so much that's awesome yeah what a good guy he was cool kind of not really actually yeah maybe not no
Starting point is 00:12:51 yeah no he was cool he was cool he got into fights but i mean a lot of people got into fights dude if i would have been a better fighter i would have been getting into fights too i mean i probably was romanticizing those aspects of him too much but no he was a good hang yeah yeah what a beautiful experience i learned a lot it's character building you do you think you'd be the same jt if you hadn't exposed your your little dink at that party no for sure no yeah dude i i was uh at the park yesterday and i was i was microdosed too but i i i was walking around shirtless and i was just observing everything and i was having a good time and then i got a really strong impulse to to hang strong to streak and then thankfully even on a little psychedelic
Starting point is 00:13:31 influence i was like can't do it dog yeah i was like life's about restraint you got to respect other people in this society you know other people have different limits than you do right and what you're okay with doesn't necessarily mean it's okay to do right yeah is it but i wanted to i wanted to i just love being naked so much it's nice yeah yeah i do that at my place i'll have the blinds open and you know past nine o'clock i'm just i'm naked as you should be dude and so i'll go out and be like oh i forgot to do some dishes and be like dude and i always forget that the blinds are open i'm just hanging dong but you know You got to send a message to the neighborhood. And optimistically, and no one should operate on this thinking.
Starting point is 00:14:11 Yeah. But just in this moment, as a thought experiment, I've seen your neighbors. Yeah. They're young. Right. Mostly dudes. Yeah. Maybe they're cool with it.
Starting point is 00:14:20 I'm sure, you know. Well, I think that's why my one neighbor doesn't talk to me i think he saw me hanging dog and he got pissed dude okay so i was a strider yesterday we were shooting something and you remember that one time when um we were out shooting on the on the front porch and my neighbor who i share the place with comes out with his bulldog and and his i think it's just i think it's his girlfriend they have two bulldogs they don't like his bulldog and and his i think it's just i think it's his girlfriend they have two bulldogs they don't like me at all for some reason i think because i got the garage but they they just do not talk to me they don't even acknowledge my existence it's
Starting point is 00:14:54 really weird and you remember when we were shooting and they and they're walking out and it's like we're like friendly guys and we're like shooting we're having like golden retrievers yeah we're like hi yeah we're like hi and they just they barely acknowledge us and then he starts yanking on his dog's leash and stuff and you're just like what the dude i still think about that moment it really do you remember how hurt i was afterwards i turned to you i was like what's the deal man yeah strider had the same thing yesterday no way same thing okay we were so strider brought his dog sunny over, over. By the way, cutest dog ever. So spunky, so cute. Best smile I've ever seen on a dog. And he brings Sunny over. I got to meet Sunny.
Starting point is 00:15:32 And we're in the backyard. And so I share a backyard with these people. But theirs is fenced off. I technically share it, but theirs is fenced off. And they have two French Bulldogs. So French Bulldogs come out and start barking at Sunny. And Sunny's all curious. And the guy just bulldogs come out and start barking at Sonny. And Sonny's like all curious. And the guy just runs out.
Starting point is 00:15:48 He's like, hey, hey. He grabs his bulldog and like just like he doesn't even acknowledge us. We're like, it's okay, dude. It doesn't say anything. And just like storms back into his place. Kind of like kicks the other dog out of the way. And Strider's like, what the fuck was that man i'm like yeah it's weird it's a weird dynamic dude that's really sad but it almost makes me feel
Starting point is 00:16:10 better that they do it to everyone because now it feels less personal well i think it's just me no i don't think it's you i think it's the world dude i think it's the outside world no it's not you dude no neighbors hate me man dude i think that's so funny too because when dogs interact that's such a natural segue for their human partners to talk yeah you know i mean so for him to not even be like acknowledge the other dog or the people responsible for it yeah like dude do you have any social grace or did you go to cotillion yeah you're supposed to throw me a what up here and say oh where'd you get your dog and you know all that bullshit but i know but it's but i need the bullshit i love the bullshit yeah let's do it yeah i i hope I can go throughout my whole stay at that place.
Starting point is 00:16:47 I can go without having a conversation with that guy. Dude, I think you might get there. That guy's tough. He's a tough nut to crack. Yeah. I was blown away by how little he responded to us in that moment. I was like blown away. I was like, what's up, man?
Starting point is 00:17:02 How's your day going? And he went, mm. Right, dude. And also when i moved in he came over and he's like he he knocks on my door so i guess we did have a kind of a conversation he goes he goes our electricity went out uh for some reason you have the better setup so the the the the box whatever where you flip switches the fuse box the fuse box is in your backyard i'm like yeah man go
Starting point is 00:17:25 whenever whenever you need to go go back there and he's like doesn't even acknowledge that he just like walks away that was like a one conversation and i was trying to be like neighborly like yeah man whenever you want to go back there just go back there and he's just like i think he's gonna come around actually that was what just popped into my head yeah you can win him over i think you're gonna win him over you're solid dude you're solid and steady he's gonna maybe he just takes a while to get warmed up yeah you know what i mean not unlike how aaron hated us when we first started and now we're thick as thieves right right fucking team yeah well maybe uh i don't know i mean the the realtor when i moved in was like she's like don't tell the people next door that we took off that we gave the garage for free
Starting point is 00:18:13 because you're paying the same amount as them so i basically i think i'm paying the same amount of rent as they are but i have a big yard and the garage you got a sweeter deal i think they know but i wouldn't be you can't be upset i wouldn't be a fucking renom about that you're not the bad actor in that situation no you know what i mean you're not you just lucked out i just used kevin fahr to negotiate yeah i wouldn't be you can't be mad at the other person who got a sweet deal that's that has nothing to do with you yeah you gotta be mad at the person who made that deal yeah i think they're just pissed because they think i'm probably like 20 and i'm single living there living it up and they're pissed yeah they're jealous look if people don't
Starting point is 00:18:52 like their lives they're gonna be angry at anyone who seems like they're enjoying theirs yeah that's how it goes this guy has so much extra space and he's just walking around nude tanning his his nuts all the time i'm like yeah that's fucking right they could learn a lot from you tanning your nuts yeah storing it powering up your tea which is going to get you feeling brighter dude back to nudity a little bit too i was listening to a podcast called little adams and this lady wrote a book about uh statues coming down and just like the history of it throughout time and they were talking about you know the greek style and the roman style which was uh because you know statues have evolved how we do. Like a lot of statues are guys on horses, which is pretty telltale sign to me that you were racist.
Starting point is 00:19:30 Right. If you're on a horse and a statue, you're one of the bad ones. Yeah. But they were talking about Greek and Roman style and how, you know, them being naked and they called it heroic nudity. And where do you think that heroism derives from? It's cause they got little dicks. Yeah, small dongs.
Starting point is 00:19:44 And it was heroic of them to share that. It was inspiring for them to share their small dongs with the world right and to let it be forever like commemorized in in a statue that's awesome in bronze yeah it fired me up dude you're getting a heroic dose of small dong that's what i was listening to at the park and i was like it's time to be a hero and then i was like whoa slow down charlie yeah you know maybe not everyone's gonna think you're a hero. And then I was like, ooh, slow down, Charlie. Maybe not everyone's going to think you're a hero if you bomb this hill naked in front of 12 different picnics littered with children. But different cultures.
Starting point is 00:20:15 After we build the Paul statue, we should build statues of ourselves and make our dinks even smaller than what they are. Microscopic. Yeah, to inspire. Infinitely small. I think that's the way to go. What do you think, Aaron? Infinitely small. I think that's the way to go. Do you want a statue of you with a small dong?
Starting point is 00:20:29 No. Yours with a piece would be good. Dude, Aaron with just a hog. But we probably, if Joe's going to be one of the statues, you might have to have a small dong just to. No, I'll go number two. Like, he can be number one, I'll be number two. That's fine.
Starting point is 00:20:42 Fair enough. It would be funny if you had a bigger dong than Joe, though. I could see it. Yeah. Probably not. We've never gone into this. Aaron, do you mind if we probe? We talked about it once, briefly.
Starting point is 00:20:52 Oh, yeah. Episode 86. I remember that. That was the one. Minute 27. That was a good conversation. I'd like to circle back. What are you working with over there?
Starting point is 00:21:03 It's fine. I've got no complaints. You know he's got a piece. over there? It's fine. He's being modest. You know he's got a piece. You got a piece, dude. How's your bellend? It's cool. Nice. Does it look like a full helmet, or is it kind of like a Lance Armstrong aerodynamic helmet from Circuit 2003?
Starting point is 00:21:19 Yeah, it's a little more aerodynamic, I think. Sick. Where are you guys at on Lance? You like him? No. I have some compassion for him i'd say i don't really know the whole situation but we were talking about or should i even bring up michael vick with dogs killing dogs that's unforgivable to me but if you're if you're you know cheating at cycling that at cycling and you're helping, and you're helping fund cancer research,
Starting point is 00:21:48 whatever. Yeah. That's fine. Like that's like that. So having said, I don't like him. Yeah. Like the raising money for cancer.
Starting point is 00:21:56 Great. Yeah. Cheating at cycling. Don't care. Yeah. It's the ruining asshole he was to everyone. Right. Oh yeah.
Starting point is 00:22:02 He ruined lives. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. That's brutal. Yeah. That, I forgot about everyone else. Right, oh yeah, he ruined lives. Okay, yeah, yeah. That's brutal, yeah. I forgot about that part. Dude, I just finished that book about the Lakers
Starting point is 00:22:09 with the Kobe Shaq era. And Kobe is rough, dude. Really? Not a nice guy. Kind of a cruel person. And it's a tough read if you're a Kobe fan. But he kind of reminds me of Lance almost in terms of you respect the drive and you respect the competitive attitude and the ability,
Starting point is 00:22:32 but you're like, I think he could have accomplished that without the kind of brutal way you treated other people. Right. Yeah. Look at like Babe Ruth. Lovable dude. Everyone fucking loved that dude yeah hank aaron love that dude willie mays shack's like a little lazy in it but he's very and he can be a dick you know almost the way like a big child's a dick like just kind of immature but incredibly generous and yeah and like fun yeah and him and kobe's problem was basically
Starting point is 00:23:02 it all comes down to shack wanted to be kobe's big brother yeah and kobe was like no you'll never be my big brother but everyone else let shack be their big bro right and then kobe didn't even want his approval and it just broke shack's brain right he's like i'm the best player in the NBA how can this kid not want me to like help him but kobe was always just like no i'm the alpha i'm the alpha i'm the alpha since he was like a kid it's weird yeah yeah but obviously you know you did accomplish a lot with that mindset that's crazy yeah and going back to nudity it reminded me of a story when i when i first struck uh that's the uh past tense of
Starting point is 00:23:39 for sure um just a little grammar lesson um in high school so i first struck after probably a more difficult you know one of my more conflict riddled times in my life uh where i i dated this girl for like a month and then broke up with her and then she was with another guy and then we hooked up and it was like a big big issue in the school i think you do a stand-up joke about this right yeah yeah yeah yeah so it's important to you because yeah yeah and so it was it was after that time which is probably like you know i i it wasn't a good look for me i was a bad guy amongst the the school and i went streaking because i was a senior and it was like we were graduating and I went streaking and it's like tradition.
Starting point is 00:24:25 Everyone goes streaking. And a bunch of girls who were like, you know, I think a year younger saw me streaking and they called me out for having a little dong. Wow. They're like, I was like running and I was like, I felt so free and I was like, no worries. I was like, this is awesome. You know, because I was already a little bit nervous. I was like, you know, it's hard for me to break out it was especially at that time i was much more shy and it was hard for me to break out of my shell but i just i got naked and
Starting point is 00:24:52 i did it and i like i was i felt free it was so that's when i like fell in love with it and i'm running and i'm sort of like trailing because i'm sort of taking in the scenery you know i'm more of like a visual you know observer it's not a race for you yeah so i was like taking it i'm like wow the campus looks nice at night and uh then i hear oh he has a small dick and um you know what i thought in that moment i deserve it you know it's it's they put shame in you for the first time it's like uh it's it's biblical it's adam and eve when they become aware of their nudity after eating the apple and and then they cover up their genitals. Right, yeah.
Starting point is 00:25:26 You literally had your Eden moment where it got corrupted. Yeah. I disagree that you deserve shame, though. Yeah, I guess I... You dated her first. Right. Oh, we're talking about the original sin here. And you have no responsibility for the sanctity of their relationship.
Starting point is 00:25:41 Right, yeah. I guess I'm just hard on myself. Yeah, he doesn't. Yeah. But also, like i said like if if anyone if people are mad about their relationship breaking up it should be at the people in the relationship not the outside this is like the house situation again yeah don't be mad at you because you got the place with a nice yard yeah but i don't know but i did it and i you know i i helped facilitate you were part of pain yeah I pursued it
Starting point is 00:26:10 knowing what the deal was but I appreciate I'm pretty hard on myself so thank you Aaron for letting me off the hook a little bit well let the record show you're incredibly decent and respectful of those boundaries in your day-to-day life. You know, I think I'm just sensitive about it because it's parents' divorce. And so in my mind, I'm like, I can't be that.
Starting point is 00:26:35 I can't do that. I can't ever do that. But this was in high school, right? It was in high school, yeah. Yeah, you're not wrecking any homes. No, and I was trying to lose my virginity. They probably weren't going to end up together. No, no. I was really trying to lose my virginity. They probably weren't going to end up together.
Starting point is 00:26:45 No, no. I was really trying to lose my virginity. Maybe God at the end will show you what the timeline was supposed to be. They ended up having a kid, and that kid cured COVID. But the likelihood is that they were destined for a break. I'm going to Google it after this, and I'll give you guys an update. Dude, back to basketball real quick. I'm so pumped.
Starting point is 00:27:03 Giannis Atetakembo. Looks like they're going to win the title. When we record this, they're going into game six, and they're up 3-2. Dude, this guy has like, as like cruel as some of those other people describe him, he's like the opposite, I think. I mean, hopefully I don't ever get disillusioned with it. Some tell-all comes out, and it's like, he was a cock, but doesn't look like a dude. He's like, never complains about his teammates,
Starting point is 00:27:25 stayed in a small town to try and win a championship there. And then he always misses his free throws and his jumpers. He never lets it get in his head. He just keeps going. He keeps shooting. There's this other player, Ben Simmons, who sucks at shooting. So he stopped because he's like too embarrassed. So he'll pass up like layups to like not be embarrassed basically.
Starting point is 00:27:41 Giannis just keeps going. And so now he takes so long to shoot free throws that the opposing fan fan bases will count how long it takes to go one two three and it gets all the way up to like 10 or 11 to get in his head and he told reporters he's like dude i just have to try and find a way to have fun while that's happening right and i can get through it right he's 26 he has that healthy of a mindset that's cool and then he had this fucking insane block in one game and uh he didn't watch the highlight of it and reporters like why didn't you watch the highlight he's like because ego is looking backwards at how great you were and pride is looking forward to how great you could be
Starting point is 00:28:13 right and i was like what yeah yeah it's pretty inspiring he's a philosopher because he's greek yeah maybe that's what it is dude that's what it is yeah dude good Yeah. Dude, good call. I was wondering, I was like, I was like, what's going on? How's this guy have such a good mindset? Cause it's really like the other thing, his teammate after the George Floyd stuff was like, I don't know if I can play Giannis on the spot goes,
Starting point is 00:28:35 then none of us are playing. Right. And they were the first team in the NBA to be like, Hey, we're sitting out. That's dank. He's a leader, dude.
Starting point is 00:28:41 Yeah. That's sick. I just got chills. He's a stoic. He's stoic, bro. He's a stoic. That's what it is though. It's a stoic he's stoic bro he's stoic that's what it is though it's they got the good philosophy over there they probably put that in their books you know you get the original text they can read it in its native tongue yeah then he just freaking he's got it all in his brain that's dank yeah because ryan holliday did repost his thing about
Starting point is 00:28:59 ego oh he did he oh really oh what a beast yeah man i love all that shit dude i've been uh i've been going to therapy oh yeah he told me yeah you went more than once i went uh today too oh no i've gone twice i've been i i went twice to my therapist i know i used to see her yeah she's awesome she's best dude my thing with i i was better today my ses sesh, but my first one, you know, because I was pretty, I just had a rough weekend. Just emotionally. And I never really get, like, sad, but I was, like, sad. And I was sad, dude. I was fucking, I was sad.
Starting point is 00:29:39 Hey, I'm here to hear. And so I had this, i had the sesh and with like every time i've done therapy you know i'm like i'm like yeah so this is what's going on you know it's mostly pertaining to like heartbreak or whatever and i was like yeah just like this heartbreak came up and stuff and we get like 20 minutes into it and i'm like all right i think that's all i got it's tough to fill an hour dude it's tough yeah it's like doing an hour of standup. You're like, how many bits do I have? Yeah. Yeah. That's why you're going to crowd work. Right. Exactly. How's your day going? Exactly. I was like, so what's up with you? Where are you from? Yeah. I was like, where are you zooming from? Um, yeah, it was good. It
Starting point is 00:30:17 felt good. And today I was actually able to like fill the hour. Oh, really nice. Yeah. So you're digging deep. Yeah. I was digging deep. digging deep i was yeah i was able to like actually talk about like you know it's just things kept coming up which is nice but she's really good with that stuff too yeah looking back and kind of working through it processing yeah and it's like with the whole confidentiality aspect of it i i had a little bit of trouble getting past that at first because i'm like i don't know why but i was like who's listening to this you know what i mean it was on zoom so i was like are you recording oh interesting yeah but i know i know i was i didn't think she was recording but i was just i just had this like
Starting point is 00:30:56 feeling in the back of my mind i'm like who's listening because it's like sacred things that you're talking about so you feel pretty vulnerable when you're when you're letting them out exactly yeah but it's nice i like it i i told you she had a name for it when i would feel the same way where i'd get like jittery i'm like all right i'm out she called it she's like oh you got the i gotta goes yeah and then she's like just try and sit so you don't even have to talk she'd be like just because for me it's more like add you know yeah and she's like just sit there and like sit still and just sit with it and i'd be like i got nothing i gotta go yeah and then but then i'd sit back down and i'd do that like four or five times yeah yeah i do feel much better today you do good man yeah yeah and i i uh
Starting point is 00:31:32 yeah i think it's like a week of just like of like bumming but uh i i feel i think i feel back to normal today it's good almost yeah dude i almost look at it too it's like uh i mean there's look at it too. It's like, uh, I mean, there's always reasons, but to me it's like sadness or depression. And you know, there's a difference between the two, but the, the randomness of them, I mean,
Starting point is 00:31:52 it's like, you're just like a boat on the water and it's like sunny and it's flat. And then just a rogue wave will come and just like knock your boat over. And you're like, where the hell did that thing even come from? But there's like no real, you can't check the weather patterns for it. It just happens once in a while yeah and then like you just spend
Starting point is 00:32:07 a day or a week or a month just getting the boat back up and putting everything back together before you can like take it back out on the water yeah yeah and it's tough too with like relationships and like relationships ending too it's like i think guys especially try to do this is like once they end you just try to charge forward and you're like you're like i'm good here we go you know like back out into the world but then i feel like it's just like inevitable it's gonna hit you and it was painful you know the first couple weeks and stuff but i was like kind of like yeah i'm good too single loving it but then it's just like i think and she was saying this too that for guys it just like hits later
Starting point is 00:32:43 on where you're just like it just it just comes out of nowhere where you're just like, oh. And I was trying to quit vaping too. So it just like compounded everything. I was just, you know, it was like, I was like laying in bed. It's a nice little misery sandwich right there. Yeah. In the middle. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:32:59 I was, I was laying in bed. What did I watch? I was watching like, I was watching like Loki and I was like, is this ever going to end? Cause I was like, I think, I think I vaped too much and I fucking, and now that I like, I'm just going to be withdrawing for the rest of my life.
Starting point is 00:33:15 And I fucked it all up. That's what was going through my head. Dude, with happiness, you know, it's fleeting with pain. You think it's forever. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:33:21 It's a weird thing. Yeah. I've got the vape lung pop. Yeah. I got the vape lung pop yeah i got the baby got the popcorn lung baby that's really true what you're saying too about like i've heard that before that guys get hit by breakups later girls are initially sadder guys it hits them later yeah but like with my first girlfriend who were on and off for a long time yeah it was like three years two years after the fact yeah i just had like a weekend visiting my dad in florida and i just it hit me i was like she's gone forever
Starting point is 00:33:49 right and i like we ended up getting back together later yeah so you know all these things can go in a bunch of different directions yeah but it was i was decimated for a week just laying in bed sleeping best sleep i ever got but i was just sleeping all the time right couldn't do anything it's brutal. It's tough, man. It's tough. And it's tough when you're going through it, of being like,
Starting point is 00:34:08 why would I ever put myself through this? Like, I can't go through it. Because you're saying like most people have like four to five, you know, serious relationships. According to the intro of Love Life. Yeah. Before they're married. I'm like, dude, this is just fucked.
Starting point is 00:34:22 But I mean, that's why they write all those songs about it. But in the moment, I was like, how am I going to go through this shit more? Yeah, it's a powerful catalyst for what you put into your art and stuff. And then also, I mean, this is like an easy way to contextualize it. And maybe it doesn't reflect the depth of it. But I think like how much pain you feel, I think, is equal to how much you loved whatever you're feeling pain over right so it's kind of beautiful in a way it's like you you loved her a lot yeah and you guys had a really good relationship yeah in a lot of ways so it's like
Starting point is 00:34:54 yeah you're just mourning that yeah yeah and then when you get through it it's much better and it's like sort of like uh but it's necessary yeah and you just learn from it and then you just feel like you know it's you got to go through those experiences as much as i want to stay stoked forever you know it's i'm learning the importance of of you know going through the roller coaster of life as opposed to just you know just being you know cruising through on high speed yeah and you've had a good run of being stoked most of the time yeah i'd say like 90s nine percent yeah you had like when you like first like uh like when you were like 24 you said right yeah and then now yeah yeah and that's pretty unprecedented run of uninterrupted green lights i've had i've had a great life yeah i'm not complaining no you can
Starting point is 00:35:42 complain you can complain i just i just i just say i'm impressed oh I wasn't trying to okay no I was like uh no I I do I love you yeah love you too yeah and I do love my life a lot but uh but it as much as I hate to experience sadness it does feel good in a way um it's like an ice bath for the for the heart well Suzanne told me I like it because it makes me feel alive right so I've kind of fetishized it in a way right right right yeah i i struggle more with boredom and then so i'll go sad just to uh not feel bored i'm like man i'm bored i'm like well cry about how your parents are gonna die one day right and then afterwards i'm like that felt better yeah yeah yeah i hope they don't though. And I believe in cryogenic freezing.
Starting point is 00:36:27 I told my brother, my brother knows the plan that I'm supposed to get frozen if I die. Right. And even if it's not in my parents' wishes. You got Ted Williams that shit? I might Ted Williams it. Dude, hell yeah. Ted Williams, like the kid had his like the head, right?
Starting point is 00:36:42 Like the body got severed and he was just like ran away with the head and he was just like ran away with the head and he was gonna freeze it or something like that yeah it was frozen it was frozen yeah and sitting on top of a can of tuna or some shit like that amazing dude tuna has lots of omega-3s there's a lot to learn from ted williams if we could bring him back you know what would you say best contact hitter of all time i know you got your boy tony gwynn i mean he's a tony gwynn's the best contact hitter of all time. Ted Williams had some serious power.
Starting point is 00:37:09 Yeah, but batted like 400, right? The last one to ever do it. Yeah. Pretty incredible. Now no one bats for average. We live in a totally different baseball. I don't like it. I don't like it either.
Starting point is 00:37:20 Have you heard of the Shoho Itani guy? Okay, so there's a guy for the angels who pitches and hits which no one's done in like 100 years and he's badass at both and he's fast i just showed aaron a video of him beating on a single we got to go watch him at angel stadium yeah yeah wait pitchers don't usually hit never they do they have to in the national league but they all suck oh oh they can hit well that's okay yeah no he's like leads he's leading the league i've seen kershaw hit yeah this guy's leading the league at home runs which is unheard of he's like 35 anomalous dude what a beast he's very special he's good he did 60 home runs this year does he piss you off
Starting point is 00:37:55 no oh you like it okay i don't yeah he doesn't like fernando tatis he's the other most exciting player in baseball i just don't like how good he is right i just wanted to buy it it came at our expense last october too yeah uh and my buddy likes to wipe it in my face it's like you barely know who the padres are right he's just stoked they have a name guy right now yeah yeah what else but he's great yeah it's insane trying to see what other notes although he does what he has walked a lot of guys which i find strange yeah zra is like it's insane trying to see what other notes although he does he has walked a lot of guys which I find strange yeah ZRA is like it's not like elite but he's very good right
Starting point is 00:38:28 he's very he's very he's the best thing they have on either side of the ball and that's why they suck because they only have the one yeah have you gone to any games yet
Starting point is 00:38:41 I haven't I was going to go to the Cardinals Dodgers series which is you know if they had a day game i could have brought the baby but they were all night games so it was just gonna be me but even then it was so expensive this is before everything opened up right unless you wanted to sit in the vaccinated section which was a shitty part of the stadium interesting so i was just like nah when you when you go to a Dodgers game, what do you eat? Do you get garlic fries? I have, yeah.
Starting point is 00:39:08 Do you get a Dodger dog? Yeah, yeah, for sure. Do you get brews? I don't drink. You don't drink? No. You don't drink ever? No, no, never.
Starting point is 00:39:15 Really? Never have, yeah. How did I not know that? I mean, if I go to Vegas, I'll have a slushy thing, but... How did we not know that? I don't know. I feel like I tell a lot of people about it. Yeah, that's interesting.
Starting point is 00:39:32 I mean, you play it so... Props to you for just playing it so... I can hang. Yeah, everyone's like, oh, Aaron's just chilling. He's hammered. But you're not. No.
Starting point is 00:39:41 I'll fuck with anybody. If they're high or they're drunk, I don't care. That's awesome, dude. I'll take you as you are. Dude, that just speaks to you as a not. No. I'll fuck with anybody if they're high or they're drunk. I don't care. That's awesome, dude. I'll take you as you are. Dude, that just speaks to you as a dude. Yeah. Versatile.
Starting point is 00:39:51 You just fired me up. Utility player. And I'll get us home safe. Yeah. For the most part. Hell yeah, dude. Yeah, I don't do coke, but I like being around people on coke. It's an exciting time. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:39:59 And I kind of feel that chaotic all the time. Yeah. I feel like my brain's a dance floor, so I'm always looking for like that kind of energy. Yeah. So when I'm around people on Coke, they're just talking a mile a minute, tangent ideas, a lot of intensity, a lot of passion. I'm like, I get it. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:40:13 Yeah. It's nice. Yeah. I remember times I've done it and just like, man, what do we, the conversation, dude, I get deep in the conversations. I mean, when I would take Adderall in college, you know, message me over my high school. What's up, dude? How's it going? It's good to see conversations. I mean, when I take Adderall in college, I message people from high school, what's up, dude? How's it going?
Starting point is 00:40:27 It's good to see you. I'm at Santa Clara. Now I'm just studying philosophy. What are you up to? And they're like, hey, man. But on Coke, I get super passionate. You put on Ted Nugent's stranglehold, we're going to have a conversation.
Starting point is 00:40:41 That's what's up. Yeah. It's a kind of remembrance, though, to reach back to people in high school. Yeah. Which is a good thing to do. Yeah. Totally.
Starting point is 00:40:48 Yeah. You can take lessons from some of that behavior and be like, that's one thing I'd like to keep. Right. Yeah. Right, right, right. You're like, there's other aspects you don't want to keep, but that's a keeper. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:40:59 Yeah. As you guys say that, yesterday, one of my best friends from high school, his birthday, I saw it on Facebook, and I just fucking hit remove notification. You're a savage, dude. I mean, I just move on with my life. I don't know. I'm not attached to that town anymore. That's sort of how I am. Like a Marie Kondo of your personal life.
Starting point is 00:41:24 Yeah, and it's something I need to work on too. Because when people from, you know, my past sort of reach out and I appreciate it, but sometimes I'm just like, you'll get like a text and you're like, oh, that's sort of what I think. I'm just like, oh, I'm busy, which I shouldn't. But that's, that is my natural response. It's interesting. I mean, I think there's, there's a lot of positives to that too.
Starting point is 00:41:43 You know what I mean? I think you grow a lot that way and you're not attached to an identity as much that way yeah because when you're constantly reaching backwards you're almost like reaching back to who you were back then exactly and i like that i like i'm just very sentimental that way yeah but but i think if you can keep going forward and just take life as what what it's what's new that it's offering you you're probably you might become a lot of different things in a cool way. Totally, yeah. Because you're so different.
Starting point is 00:42:11 You talk a lot about how different you are than when you were in college, right? Oh, yeah, I've changed a lot. I've gone through so many different phases. I'd say early childhood, up until about 11, I was quiet and shy but but i was i was also a performer and i would really bring that out and uh you know especially like in front of like the family christmas time you know i was always trying to make people laugh and then
Starting point is 00:42:38 you know um and then school i think it kind of i think high school kind of and middle school, I think it kind of, I think high school kind of, and middle school kind of, yeah, no, I was, I was still like kind of the performer in middle school. And then high school kind of took the wind out of my sails. I got beaten up a little bit. Uh, just like, um, I think just with the competitive culture that I was sort of thrust into and I was just, I think I was just too sensitive for it and that made that made me like turn inward kind of and then i found partying and became like a party guy and that brought me back out then mine was kind of the same yeah yeah i put all of like my enthusiasm for being the center of attention into partying rather than trying to find like a
Starting point is 00:43:19 more traditional or or like uh i don't know like uh like school version of it like theater or something like that or debate or whatever you know none of those things seem to fit for me so i was like i'll just be like loud and talkative at parties yeah totally yeah i tried to do theater because i like knew inside i was like i want to be a performer then i go to like acting class or like theater class i'd be like no shot i'd be like dude literally in my mind i'd be like i'm like this is what leonardo cabrio does uh dude it's funny when i was in high school theaters all musicals too and it's just like yeah i can't i don't want to sing at my second high school it was pretty slim pickings for kids to perform in the play and you know i was like the most outgoing guy so they're
Starting point is 00:43:57 like we're doing greece they're like jt we want you to play danny zucco yeah they were like gonna give me the part i didn't really have to audition I was like this is awesome yeah first day of dance practice I'm in the back of the room and I go and you know it's it's a shame I didn't have the comfort but I looked around I was like no way yeah totally and like the vice principal was like are you not gonna do this show and I was like I didn't even give her like a big explanation I was just like yeah yeah and then just like left and never came back amazing it was and i i liked a lot of those kids too but i was just um i was always more i like the jocks more i just was always friends with kind of like uh like cerebral jocks same yeah totally yeah that's uh you know end of high
Starting point is 00:44:39 school to college put all my energy into partying because that's how i could that's how i was able to be outgoing that's that's how you had status in the yeah yeah and fuel that performer side of me and then i tried to do that in the real world and it just wasn't working i mean i'd be blacked out and people were like why are you blacked out it's like thursday and you're like what are you trying to do again i'm like try to be a comedian they're like what are you doing and that's why i you know put a damper on the on the partying but then found stand-up i'm like that that's where and i was like oh i can i can get on stage because i wasn't as i was pretty introverted still i'm like half and half i have that like extroverted side that
Starting point is 00:45:15 wants to come out but then it can be like primarily introverted but then like having a mic on stage was like i was like oh this is it yeah perfect match of player and part yeah yeah that is it's funny how like how what level of public intoxication i thought was like acceptable yeah like when i was 24 and i first came to la we went to the hudson yeah i get blackout drunk i'm like kissing my friend andrew on the mouth i'm like climbing which isn't wrong but it was like you know it was intense yeah and then i'm climbing out the window of like the place and like coming in through the other window and people are like yeah go go go and then i fall asleep on the sidewalk yeah and i'm just sleeping on like that's like santa monica it's a busy intersection right right i'm like this is all totally normal yeah i
Starting point is 00:45:57 woke up the next day and i was like i was pretty embarrassed actually that time i remember strider heard me in the middle of the night be like like trying to laugh at my behavior right but he could hear the insecurity and the next day he's like you freaking dork dude he's like i heard you try to laugh it off he's like i could like hear the shame in your giggle yeah but i thought that was all relatively normal right yeah right to just be hammered in public yeah i think um i can't be just sporting events or whatnot. Totally, yeah. I had it in my mind of impressing girls. Because I'd be like, wait till she sees me blacked out. She's going to be so impressed.
Starting point is 00:46:36 And I just didn't understand what was attractive and what girls were looking for. Is that because you would have thought that was hot in a girl? Like if a girl could rage hard, you like that's hot she parties hard i think so i think so i think a little bit yeah because i because i'm like i just thought i just thought i was so cool when i was blacked out i'm like i'm like i'm gonna be quiet now but wait till she sees me when i'm blacked out she's gonna be so fired up and be like i gotta hook up with this dude and you know it doesn't really work.
Starting point is 00:47:05 It's funny too. I mean, like I used to do a lot of my sets and stand up on Adderall. I just get so yacked out. And I thought I was just like crushing. And oftentimes I was having really good sets. But I remember when I first started doing them sober and like my brother's girlfriend was like, I like watching you a lot more when you're sober. She's like, you're much more in it. You can like feel the beats of it more. She's like, it's better when you're sober. But it didn't feel better to me. It felt way worse. Cause when you're on drugs, you feel invincible and you're sober yeah she's like you're much more in it you can like feel the beats of it more yeah she's like it's better when you're so but it didn't feel better to me right it felt way worse because when you're on drugs you feel invincible and you're like right you don't feel it when the audience doesn't laugh right but having that like presence and that sensitivity is like i think it's worth more than not having it yeah yeah no i remember you told me that too i i didn't drink
Starting point is 00:47:41 for like three years and i started drinking again you know a few years ago and because i i was i yearned for that i was like i was like oh but you know i'm not people aren't seeing like the cool side of me that was what was going on my head so i started drinking again and then you told me you're like i like you much better when you're sober yeah and sort of blew my mind i'm like really like i thought i thought i was like so fond when i'm hammered and you're like you're not really different you're just kind of like slur your words a little bit i'm like for real no you're great sober yeah i mean you're great in all permutations but yeah you're perfect as you are well you told me the same thing too when i was doing all the
Starting point is 00:48:19 and i was like confessing to you one time we were driving mike to mike and i was like i was like man i just don't think I can be funny without the drugs. And you were really sweet about it. But you were like, dude, I think you'll realize that it's actually inhibiting you more than it's giving you. Yeah, and I was like, nice, dude. I still had to hit a fucking massive bottom to stop. But it was good advice. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:48:38 Oh, thanks, man. Should we answer some questions? Yeah. All right, let me go grab my laptop I left in the other room. All right, here comes the mid roll guys i'm interrupting this podcast later once again we're brought to you by manscape manscape thank you so much for keeping our trans pubes for looking after our hogs for making sure that our dogs are looking fresh and clean because you got a dog or a vagina and you've got pubes and it's time to trim those up with the Lawn Bar 4.0. That's right, the 4.0 has got an LED spotlight, you can see your chins in high
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Starting point is 00:50:29 up and down. Ooh, make your booty touch the ground. Ooh, I can't help but wonder why I made that for you, babe. I don't think you're ready for this, yeah. Do you like Destiny's Child? No.
Starting point is 00:50:47 And it's my wife's favorite artist so it's she her favorite movies a baz luhrmann film her favorite artist is beyonce who opposites attract i don't like either yeah that's hilarious i mean beyonce is talented but she can't sing a song let's say write a song to save her life how many of her songs has she written? She's probably got credit on everything because she's smart. But it's all trash. I mean, you look at that. Wait, Beyonce's all trash? The song writing.
Starting point is 00:51:16 Oh, like the lyrics aren't good? Yeah. I would kind of agree with you, yeah. I mean, all those Destiny's Child songs are just repeating the same word half the time. Like, bills Like bills,
Starting point is 00:51:25 bills, bills. No, no, no. I don't think you're ready for this jelly. Yeah. I mean,
Starting point is 00:51:29 I don't think you're ready for this beehive, dude. I said one thing about like Rihanna being better than Beyonce. And I got one of the angriest DMS I've ever gotten. Oh, I'm sure. I just telling Chad that like my wife's favorite artist is Beyonce. So like,
Starting point is 00:51:42 I, I have to keep this down at home for sure but like it's obvious i mean like you've seen that meme where it's like her and nine writers and the shitty lyrics and then freddie mercury bookie mean rhapsody right it's like one writer i mean it's it's really four guys and even like halo is one of my favorite songs by her i like like big ballads like that and And that song was intended for like, they gave it to Leona Lewis first, and she didn't want it or something like that.
Starting point is 00:52:11 So it's not personal to, or Ed Sheeran wrote Love Yourself. So everyone thinks that song's about Selena Gomez. It's like, he didn't even write the song. Yeah, it's very muddy right now in terms of who writes what. And there's stuff where beyonce tried to do what jd jd does where he doesn't write anything down ever it's amazing he's insane but it's also why he rhymes things with the same word you can see him when it happens when he they have the video of like him hearing dirt off your shoulders for
Starting point is 00:52:40 the first time when timbaland came up with the beat it's a great video because they're both just dudes at like the peak of their powers and they're just both so confident and good at what they do. But Jay-Z goes in the room and he's like, alright, I'm just going to do this off the cuff. Comes up with a third of the lyrics for the song. Really? Or two thirds, yeah. I'm sure he does multiple takes and everything gets it
Starting point is 00:52:58 right. Yeah. That's awesome. He came up with the bones of it on that first take. A lot of times he rhymes words with the same words. They were saying he can remember the whole album in his head first take a lot of times he rhymes words with the same words they were saying he can remember like the whole album in his head like just really yeah he must do it wow he's got a big brain um but yeah beyonce tried to do that you know now since they've been together it's just like that's why you got lyrics like surfboard that's a good song surfboard surf board surfboard graining on that wood riding on that wood and how grading on that wood what song is that drunken love drunken love yeah oh really
Starting point is 00:53:33 i gotta check that it's funny when they did their concert film together and even though jay-z's like the most charismatic like one of the most charismatic, like one of the most charismatic hip hop performers of all time, it's just like the onstage talent disparity. When you see Beyonce, like dancing, like a maniac,
Starting point is 00:53:54 she's clearly talented, hitting these incredible notes. And then Jay-Z is just talking. It's just, it's just a white t-shirt. Yeah. They don't, they don't them next to each other.
Starting point is 00:54:04 You're like, I don't know. I don't know, dude. next to each other you're like i don't know i don't know dude um all right let's answer some oh i wanted to say because you guys are talking about drinking and and all this you know how you thought you needed it to do stuff like i just never had that feeling you know that's why i mean i watched my buddy's dad like drink too much and fly off the handle as a league coach and stuff like this like like i had little league like at the games yeah yeah he got in trouble for some words he said was he he was hammered at the games he was always drinking always
Starting point is 00:54:35 keystone light every day all day long um and he passed like a month before my dad but um so that was my like he was never a role model to me but like a role model for drinking so right that that's where i was just like no i don't want to do that yeah and then i got you know right when i hit teenage years i was like getting i wouldn't say political but just like philosophical and and i almost studied philosophy in college yeah i almost minored in it and then it got super to carlin i didn't know carlin was a huge pothead right yeah long years but um yeah so i just never looked to something else which made it hard i mean it's just yeah
Starting point is 00:55:18 obviously you know i i probably would have had a lot more ladies if i was a little more loose i don't know. I mean. You never know. But I just had to white knuckle it through life, you know. That's what I call it. Just white knuckling through life. Right. In times when I've been sober, I've had more success dating-wise.
Starting point is 00:55:35 Because I think when you have that composure, they can sense that. You're like, oh, this guy's a little bit more, has a better grip on who he is. I think maybe. No, it's a powerful thing. I mean, that's what people in programs are often kind of, that's the aspiration.
Starting point is 00:55:53 Yeah. Is that you get to a place where you're, you're motivated to be your best self. Yeah. And then that kind of like transcends any of the things that you felt like drugs gave you. Yeah. Or whatever your addiction is.
Starting point is 00:56:04 Yeah. Cause you, you really learn who you are. I just have a more, things that you felt like drugs gave you yeah or whatever your addiction is yeah because you you really learn who you are i just have a more i think i have a more intense resting face than you do so like right i don't look as fun loving like right when you're just normal i don't know but you're a fun guy i feel like i am yeah the best i'll fuck around like that's yeah no i actually i've never even thought about your uh drinking at all like whether you do it or not it's never like really factored into my thinking yeah which i think is a compliment right yeah which is also weird because i do love vegas right i don't gamble and i don't drink well vegas is the fucking best that's the thing about vegas
Starting point is 00:56:38 vegas is good no matter what i just liked it it feels like summer camp. Cause I never went to summer camp. And when I did go to camp, it sucked. Yeah. But it's like all hours. I love a 24 hour town. Like I wouldn't like New York. Cause I think it's just, it feels crushing to me that the big buildings,
Starting point is 00:56:55 but I just love the idea of being able to get up at, to still be awake at four in the morning and looking for something to eat. And there's a hardness in LA. I mean, it's probably there in Vegas too, if you live there but in vegas everyone is kind of i mean like you're seeing some people take their hedonism too far but for the most part everyone's there in like kind of a joyous yeah a joyous attitude you know what i mean kind of in new york people are like smoking cigarettes and they're on the subway and they're like get out of my way i'm on my way to work like you're
Starting point is 00:57:20 in my way and that's a fun energy but it's not as like uh easy going as vegas i guess yeah yeah yeah i um i did vegas sober for schmole's wedding i loved it i mean wake up and you we wake up feeling good you go to the gym nice ass gym and i walked the strip a little bit and it was like yeah the idea of waking up and not feeling hungover in the morning in vegas was like it was it just felt great i was like this is awesome it when i'm in vegas because i drink so much when i'm there and i'm out in the sun so much i'm playing catch up every day right like i'm fatigued and i have to like find ways i like i have to take naps and you know do all these things to kind of just get back to normal yeah Yeah. It feels like I'm going 15 rounds. Totally. Not 12, like pre-1985 or whatever,
Starting point is 00:58:09 like still those championship rounds. I'm in deep water. Yeah. And I got Ali just bearing down on me, hitting me with everything he's got. But I'm going to keep coming. I'm going to get you in the thriller in Manila. You're going down, Ali.
Starting point is 00:58:21 That was me as Joe Frazier. Dude, should we answer some cues? Yeah. Blackout Fest. Lately, I've been on a concerning blackout street. I always hear about the things I do in the morning and usually regret my actions. I try to combat this by drinking beer rather than liquor, but I always find my way to the liquor and find myself waking up still drunk, usually on a hardwood or concrete floor. Do you stokers have any suggestions on how to get better at handling my alcohol?
Starting point is 00:58:43 I'm about to go into my first year of college where I'll be playing football. I feel like football players are held to a higher standard and blacking biweekly, sometimes more often, is a bad thing to carry with me into my future endeavors. Thanks, fellas. Keep up the great work and thanks again for answering the queue. My dog, thank you for writing in. I think it's pretty clear that you aren't able to sort of you know take your booze in moderage and you're going into college so i think i would you know i would i
Starting point is 00:59:14 would designate your party nights you know i wouldn't try to go every weekend because you know if you have something big coming up and you were like i can't get too hammered i've got like an exam i got a big game so i'm just gonna have a couple beers tonight i don't think you're the type of person that can handle that um and just the way you know the way if you have that beast inside of you that just wants to get you know blacked out i don't think moderation is really an option so i think i would you know if you're gonna drink i would designate the right times to do it so you don't have too many consequences uh because i recognize that myself i can't i can't i can't control it um and i just want to get blacked out so you know
Starting point is 00:59:56 i just do it sparingly i think you're right dude yeah and specific to that i think chad's that nailed it and then specific to the athlete thing, I mean, I just, like I said, I read that Lakers book and there's guys on the team who kind of fizzle out because they can't get their partying in order. You know, they come to practice and they smell like booze. And as you go to college,
Starting point is 01:00:16 the level of competition is going to get higher. So you're going to be dealing with guys who are just as athletic as you, but if they're more disciplined, they're going to be kicking your ass. So, you know, a lot of people, they choose socializing over whatever sport brought them to school,
Starting point is 01:00:31 but you seem like you're really into football. So I try and give your all into that and just try and be disciplined for that. It's good motivation. Yeah. If I can be the dad here too, like you're going to be a college football player. You're a giant weapon when you're a you're a giant
Starting point is 01:00:46 weapon when you're drunk yeah yeah oh yeah if you have actions you regret yeah yeah i mean so far you've only seems like he's only messed himself up by waking up on these floors or whatever but yeah you don't want to you don't want to sock a dude or get too handsy with a lady and then be dealing with that the next day yeah someone else is going to feel like shit and you're going to feel like shit so uh yeah're going to feel like shit. So, yeah, if you can skip that, man, that's the better course. Totally. Yeah, and I think I would even venture to say that maybe you should give sobriety a try,
Starting point is 01:01:16 especially at least during the football season, because I think maybe you can't see it now, but drinking might be making you more miserable than you think. And it's hard to tell people that you're just going to college but you know if you're if you're if you're writing in about this i'm sure it gives you a lot more um anxiety and and probably malaise than than and and you're young and you're partying and stuff so when you when you're going through that you're like oh well i'm parting this is like sort of what what's i'm supposed to be doing but you know that's not necessarily the case so maybe give it a break and see how you feel because uh you know the anxiety i used to have of like i'm gonna
Starting point is 01:01:57 black out what am i gonna do what am i gonna say especially you know i'm not even a big dude but if i were you know it's the anxiety from from that and removing that from your life is pretty epic. Pretty cush. Yeah. Yeah. All right. What up to the patrons of Stoke? Sorry for the long message, but I've recently gone through a familiar situation with my lady and I'm unsure how to proceed.
Starting point is 01:02:18 So here's the rundown. My roommates and I recently celebrated a 21st birthday over the weekend and we raged hard. The theme was cowboy night. So everybody and their ladies showed up dressed in some fabulous Western attire. I took it upon myself to put together a pair of denim assless chaps to not only wow the crowd, but also as a reward for myself for not shying away from depth on leg day. To keep it brief, the fellas loved it. In fact, I placed second in our costume contest.
Starting point is 01:02:44 Let's go, dude. She and I had a heart to heart in which she reminded me of how she doesn't like to feel embarrassed or like all the eyes on her in social settings, such as the root and toot and rager on the ranch. She felt that I embarrassed the both of us with my brash costume and behavior at the rager. And I just find it hard to agree. I love this girl with all my heart and I don't want to put her on edge when she and I socialize as a pair. This isn't the first time this has been a problem. So I'm definitely aware of the magnitude of this situation So Lords of Stoke, what do I do? Shall I continue to ride by the seat of my assless pants
Starting point is 01:03:29 And rage the way I love Or do I pull myself up by my bootstraps And reel it in for the lady I love Thank you for your wisdom, bros Oh, P.S. My bare ass was not hanging out of the chaps I wore two pairs of underwear underneath So to the best of my knowledge
Starting point is 01:03:44 I hadn't committed any crimes or such His ass wasn't even sean dude for her to be freaking out and your ass isn't even showing i already thought if your ass was showing if i'm just being totally candid i think you're not it's harmless fun yeah yeah and so for her to be trying to reign that in that's not a bad part of yourself no and you're giving joy to others and you're feeling joyous in that like that's kind of for me amongst the best human experiences yeah so for her to be like kind of being fuddy-duddy about that i think that's not cool and then the fact that your ass wasn't fucking out yeah you're wearing two pairs of boxers yeah that's like not even a thing right yeah i mean prince did it prince does it can't can't not be cool right exactly and and you don't feel bad you know the answer to that
Starting point is 01:04:30 i almost said his name uh you know you know you know dude yeah you know bro well here's the thing it's like he wants to live his truth he had a lot of fun assless chaps i love it everyone at the party loved it he got second place i mean it wasn't like he was thrown out of the party why why should she be so embarrassed and i think it's her parents dude she came from a house where like if you stick out you're shaming the folks right yeah i think uh i mean if his ass is out he would have won first that's true too yeah first place goes to the person who commits how did he not win first
Starting point is 01:05:08 now I know now we know great call yeah dude I think I would talk to her and be like look you can try to control me
Starting point is 01:05:16 but you're putting a lion in a cage and eventually I'm gonna explode and you know I'm gonna have to show my ass for real you're trying to rope
Starting point is 01:05:24 this bronco and I'm gonna buck that's the thing you guys are gonna show my ass for real you're trying to rope this bronco and i'm gonna buck that's you guys are gonna be at the abbey you're gonna be watching all these libertine gay dudes getting after it on elevated surfaces and you're gonna be like i want that i want to be a part of that yeah and then you're gonna be in pain that you can't do it because like she's not gonna she's gonna judge you for it and you know there's nothing wrong with it so you just gotta you can't live that life man he. He's too young. He's too young. Yeah, you got to let loose. And you got to, you know, you got to talk to her about how, you know, you got a wild
Starting point is 01:05:53 side and you need to explore it. Yeah. And it's a nice wild side. Yeah. You're not like lighting cars on fire. I think she, yeah, I think she's being super unfair. And honestly, kind of a boner jam. I think she needs to find a friend because if it comes to you, it might be, you know, she'll think you're biased.
Starting point is 01:06:11 She needs to get a friend. She needs to go on like an eat, pray, love journey of like finding her own assless chaps. Right. And like find that expression in herself. So then, because ideally, you know, I don't want you to break up with someone. I want you guys to hold hands with your asses out and i think that can happen but you got to tell her like look you need to like uncork a little bit yeah look my name is my name is the slayer okay yeah i'm big rod and my ass cannot be covered it doesn't it cannot be covered your ass hoedown. It cannot be covered at a hoedown.
Starting point is 01:06:45 Slayer, your ass deserves to be out 100%. Thank you so much, Big Rod. When I don't see your ass, I get sad. And I know the rest of the crew does too. We're all on our bikes and we look over there and we're like, why the fuck are Chad's asses covered? And then whenever I see your butt, I push a little harder on my bike.
Starting point is 01:07:01 I have a better day. I need that. I don't know why your old lady's all haranguing you i think you're a great guy i think you got a nice tush and i think you're doing everything right that's my opinion but hey man i'm just a biker dude i don't know about your personal life or nothing but that's how i feel man big rock can i tell you something can i tell you something right quick yeah but dang man i didn't know you were gonna say that man i knew you were gonna say so i didn't know you're gonna say but dang, man. I knew you were going to say something. I didn't know you were going to say, but dang.
Starting point is 01:07:26 It came out of me and I had to say it. You know I say it sparingly, too. I only say it when I'm really riled up. I haven't heard you say it in three years. When I'm root-tooting and I'm cocking my guns back and shooting at the Bronco that's coming after my Hawk. I haven't heard you say it in three years since your ass got covered. That's the first time I heard you say, but dang, in three years.
Starting point is 01:07:41 You know, my lady, I mean, you know her, Roseanne. Good lady. She makes a mean casserole. But she doesn't like my ass, and it hurts my feelings. When you told me she makes you go to the bathroom with your pants on, and you just have to put holes in all your jeans, I thought that was terrible. That seemed like excessive overkill and just a ruining
Starting point is 01:08:05 of a good pair you could buy new jeans every day god big rod she made me pork with the with the hole in my in my britches she makes you shower with your jeans on it's crazy man i came over i was you're like i'm in the shower come on in i was all right well that's cool i'm probably gonna see him naked i walk in you got pants on and your nipples were covered my nipples cover i show up to the harley dealership they're like why do you have why do you have suds on your dungarees i'm like because roseanne she doesn't like my new body she's a good lady all right i don't know i don't want to besmirch her too much i'll tell you off mic what I really think about her. Podcast question.
Starting point is 01:08:48 Advice on charisma and ED. What up, Kings? I hope this request for knowledge finds Chad JT and any esteemed guests on the podcast well. I must begin with the sincerest of thanks for being the fuel to my fire of stoke. I've been a listener since episode 15 and can say that y'all have accompanied me through the roller coaster ride that is high school and college and i'm forever grateful for your wisdom thus far however i come to you with a slight conundrum it all relates to having game with members of the opposite sex first i suffer from pretty severe social anxiety lately i feel as though this quality is just being magnified as i get older and prepare to
Starting point is 01:09:22 start junior year of college ultimately i am a complete little bitch about approaching girls that I do not know. Additionally, if I ever do muster up enough drunken courage to approach them, the conversation falls flat immediately, so much so that I am starting to believe that I am just a socially uninteresting person. What are some tips or thoughts you guys may have on this issue? An additional detail is that I perform really poorly under pressure. For example, if a friend puts pressure on me to make moves or approach someone, I quickly lock up and refuse like a total schmuck.
Starting point is 01:09:54 Furthermore, in unrelated, I'm having boner issues, and I can't put a pin on whether it's performance anxiety related, alcohol related, or if I'm just drilling too much. Any advice would be dope on the dong especially from jt i was way i'm way too young to not be wielding solid wood love you guys keep up the upstanding work you put in could be any of those three things also uh get your hormones checked i think it is i think it's probably all three of those things to some degree it's where it's just you know but do you chad do you
Starting point is 01:10:25 want to start with the charisma and then i'll handle the dong yeah i think um because i i sort of had this issue too and i think uh i think i think one thing that i did that i suspect you might be doing is you're trying to to to give off like a perfect image of yourself to people and you're scared to show people who you are and you're scared to sort of take a hit and and and you know you i'm just guessing you're scared to sort of show your flaws to people which is like sort of the basis of connection it's like honesty and then like connecting on things that you're vulnerable about and also in terms of like you know approaching a lady or just like talking to new people it's like um you're putting yourself out there and it's scary but it's i promise you that when you do
Starting point is 01:11:17 the feeling after you do it no matter how the interaction went is so is so gratifying and amazing that it's just so rewarding so i would start to be a little bit more honest about who you are to people and also you know just talk about what's going on in your life because you are an interesting dude i guarantee you that everyone's interesting if they're being authentic yeah exactly you need to be a little bit more of your authentic self which takes time to discover took me time to discover but uh you know just sort of uh talk about what's going on in your life talk about your interests you know uh if you uh one thing i do is if i'm in a conversation with someone and you know just point out like oh i like your i like
Starting point is 01:12:01 your shirt i like your hair or whatever just you know talk about something that happened to you to that day and then you just start connecting and you just have stories about things that happen in your life and you'll connect with people on on on the uh on sort of the the messiness of life that's what you'll connect with people on and so don't be afraid to show people your your true self 100 and then do just practice man just keep doing it just keep doing it and don't let a loss get to your heart you know what i mean just keep going and just keep going and and if you can just be like process you'll get there and then do with the boner thing bro i still have owner problems all the time it's fine nobody cares just be a good listener talk a little bit use whatever other tools you got and then it'll
Starting point is 01:12:47 work out you're gonna get a boner you're gonna be fucking nice and right when you meet the right lady yeah yeah don't worry about it i guarantee his dink works yeah your dink works bro and if it doesn't you'll be fine dude but it works it works really well dude you got a nice boner dude and that thing was meant to be inside someone you love nice and when you guys do that you're gonna be feeling great and you're like all those boner problems worth it to get to this point nice because this puss fits my dick perfectly whoa um next question am i a douche am i a douche dude uh i want to say this dude's name is jean-luc jobert nice so just based off that yep i don't even think i need to read the question what else is a french word
Starting point is 01:13:38 is that true yeah of course nice is it my My question is, I can't do French, but I'll try. I'll try. Am I a douche? I want a croissant and I want to be a douche. Is that wrong? I am a douche.
Starting point is 01:13:51 I am a douche. Is that wrong? Jean-Luc, listen to me, Jean-Luc. What's up, Chad, JT, and any dope guests that might be on. My name is Jean-Luc
Starting point is 01:13:59 and I am concerned that I might be an absolute douche canoe. I'm 19 and I've been in and out of relationships since the end of my sophomore year of high school. I've been in three big relationships that have all lasted for at least eight
Starting point is 01:14:11 months, but it keeps getting to the point where I find myself tuning out at the end of the relationships. It keeps happening that it hits me hard and I'm a head over heels for a girl. We date for a while, but then I feel like they aren't for me after like seven months of dating. I'm worried that I might be subconsciously a complete asshat, which isn't who I want to be.
Starting point is 01:14:27 After I broke up with my most recent girlfriend, I went to BMT and had a lot of time to contemplate my past actions, and this has eaten me up. What's BMT? Is that in Canada? I have no idea. It's like... British Mountain?
Starting point is 01:14:39 Yeah. Terrace? Banff? Bacon, mutton, and tomato? For some reason, I picture... When the mutton's nice and thin. For some reason, I picture... When the mutton's nice and thin. For some reason, I picture a laser tag spot. Dude, that's a good place to have epiphanies.
Starting point is 01:14:51 He's just in a corner with his gun down, his jacket's lighting up, and he's like, maybe I do need to call her back. Friends are like, get your head in the game, man. Yeah, fuck them. I guess the Lakers used to have really intense paintball battles, and Shaq would always be on one team and Kobe would be on the other one. Yeah. And some rookie says he just remembers Kobe looking him in the eye and be like, kill them.
Starting point is 01:15:11 And the guy was like, dude, relax, man. Do you think I sound like some player schmole or is this a normal thing that people go through when they're younger? Thank you for any help you can give. Love the pod. Love y'all. Peace. Yeah, dude. 100%. I think this guy's just young. Yeah the pod. Love y'all. Peace. Yeah, dude. 100%.
Starting point is 01:15:25 I think this guy's just young. Yeah. You're not doing anything weird. Yeah. I think in the fact that he's... It's nice though, you think about it. Yeah. I think the fact that he's thinking about it and he's sort of like, it seems like a
Starting point is 01:15:38 very sensitive guy. Yeah. That means you're not being a douche. I think you're just, I think you're probably making the right move, which is like understanding that the relationship isn't working and you're moving forward. You're learning. You're trying to find the right person.
Starting point is 01:15:48 I think you're going to be a very thoughtful adult who finds a quality partner. Yeah. Because you're already thinking about this stuff at a pretty mature level. Yeah. I would just, and you know,
Starting point is 01:15:55 don't be mean. I'm not trying to give you permission to be callous, but like, dude, I think you're good, man. Yeah. Jean-Luc. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:16:01 If you're good, if you're like seven, eight months in and you know it's not right for you, there's no, you're not an asshole for getting out of it. Right. It's just kind of how you do it. It can be an asshole way to do it, but.
Starting point is 01:16:12 And that's when the limerence wears off is after like six or seven months, right? That's when like that huge hit of. Limericks? Limerence, I think is what I learned was called in like a sex psychology class. I might be wrong though. It was just like the state of a relationship where you're like the honeymoon stage basically.
Starting point is 01:16:28 Yeah. I mean. And then that's going to go away, dude. Yeah. That's going to happen in a good relationship. So don't worry about it. It's fine. Oh, dude.
Starting point is 01:16:38 Did the kid who was drinking with the alcohol problem? I forgot to mention this. So I was reading that book about the replacements too. And it's like, I think the thing I like about reading about uh different periods of time is you always find out what the diets were back then like in a season on the brink about the 80s indiana team bobby knight like thought his wife was overweight so he sent her to duke for the rice diet which was the most popular diet at the time you just eat rice now we'd be like that's crazy yeah these guys were hardcore drinkers and replacements and all of them would just drink a
Starting point is 01:17:05 ton of milk really as they said that helped with booze interesting yeah and that seems to me today i'm like that's horrible that's horrible yeah yeah but they'd be like yeah they were prepared for a hard night of drinking so they all chugged like five glasses of milk i'm like oh that sounds brutal stomach but yeah i guess that's what it was for right from the acidity of the of the alcohol but it's still a bad idea just eat pretty hilarious diarrhea city yeah chadius von steak who's your beef of the week do you say von steak nice uh my beef of the week is with the uh la uh department of plumbing uh dude i thought you were going after the mask mandate oh no no we're anti-mask now by the way we're all vaccinated guys come on we gotta move on uh it's the la department of sewage or whatever they spilled millions of gallons of sewage into
Starting point is 01:17:58 el segundo into the osh dude not cool they did that millions of gallons that's too many el segundo dockweiler i think manhattan beach they're still closed it's a week later still closed by all the dookie that they spilled they spilled like millions of gallons of doo-doo into the osh oh my god and on top of that i think it was spilling out for like an hour or something they didn't notify the public for like 12 hours. So I'm sure some dudes were going in there to shred and probably just got a mouthful of Duke. That to me is worse than what Michael Vick did.
Starting point is 01:18:37 We mentioned Michael Vick earlier if this is a clip. Yeah, I think you got to go to jail. Yeah. If you cover people in Duke without their consent yeah it's bad you gotta do some time how would you feel if you got barreled in a dookie barrel I'd be pretty sad
Starting point is 01:18:54 I'd be pretty disgusted you get spit out and you're like oh you're gonna be lower than the chomos at prison too by the way dude yeah Chad gave me that word earlier everybody at the beach gets pink eye than the chum i was at prison too by the way yeah dude yeah uh everybody's challenge last everybody gave me that word earlier everybody at the beach gets pink eye like whoa oh man dude all the dookie there yeah so uh my yeah my people to you guys way to go way to go
Starting point is 01:19:17 it's not spilled billions of gallons of doo-doo in the fucking osh It sounds like a city council speech. Yeah. That guy's... That was just not cool. Yeah, especially to do it as a joke. Like, you know they did it because they thought it was funny. Yeah. And there's nothing funny about it, El Segundo.
Starting point is 01:19:34 Yeah. It's not funny to cover people in Duke. There was a time, you know, in my adolescence, a little later than most, where I still thought that was funny. Right. But I've definitely grown out of that.
Starting point is 01:19:43 So, I don't know. Get your kicks other ways, yeah i mean there's way better pranks to do it's disgusting i can't believe they did that yeah who do you think they are dave matthews bus driver what happened there when he was on a the bus the bus was on a bridge above a river in Chicago. And I guess the bus driver just dumped the tanks off the bridge and hit a fucking tour boat that was going underneath. No. It was raining shit on us. Oh, my God.
Starting point is 01:20:14 Crash into me. Yeah, yeah. I don't think the band was on the bus at the time. So if that happened to you, if you were on the tour boat, and you'd be pissed because you just got Duke all over you, but if you heard that it was Dave Matthews' Dukes duke would you be less mad there's like 40 guys in the band you never know who's duke it was right it's like the fourth saxophonist right more did the saxophones duke got me i mean because the fiddle player i love dave matthews but their
Starting point is 01:20:38 saxophone that you guys duke better not get on me That's all I'm gonna say about that. No very generic riffs Um, I think I want to make sure there's a saxophone player in Dave Matthews real quick I always do this. I got a stickler for this though. It'd be funny if there wasn't Yeah, let me see Is there a saxophone? In Dave Matthews Yeah, yeah, Leroy Holloway in Dave Matthews band yeah Leroy Holloway
Starting point is 01:21:08 oh he looks like a cool guy he does look like a cool guy sorry Leroy I would happily take your duke as much as any other member of the Dave Matthews band glad we cleared that out Aaron who's your beef of the week I have two beefs this week my first beef was with Costco.
Starting point is 01:21:27 Look, Costco, I love that you have so much stuff at such discounted prices. But you don't have all the stuff. And when I go there and I spend $350 and get all this stuff and I still have to go to the grocery store for the stuff you don't have.
Starting point is 01:21:46 It's very frustrating. My second B for the week is colds. Have you heard of these? Have you had one in a while? I haven't. It's been like two years. They fucking suck. You had one?
Starting point is 01:21:59 Yeah, I'm getting over it. Are you contagious? No, I shouldn't be. It's not COVID. We kissed earlier. Oh. You should have said something. I did, but I said it with my fingers.
Starting point is 01:22:10 Yeah. I just got covered in Duke. You're right. You're good, dude. You got a bulletproof immunity, dude. You could sleep in Duke. You'd be fine. I do.
Starting point is 01:22:22 It's good for the immune system. My beef of the week is um i have been wearing a mask at the studio though because when it was really bad uh because that's what you should do that's what people have been doing in asia forever nice for sure keep it to yourself beast my uh my beef of the week is uh with my feet they smell i've noticed a trend over the last month or two where whenever I, I used to wear my socks like two days in a row, three days in a row. Now I pick up my sock to reuse
Starting point is 01:22:50 and I'm like, that ain't happening. Yeah. So how do your hands smell on the pot? My hands? Because you're always picking your feet. Oh, that's true. No, you know, it doesn't transfer that much. Thank God.
Starting point is 01:23:01 Okay. But yeah, and if I ever have company coming over i have to i wash my feet before they get here yeah you did yeah i run i run into the show and i'm like yeah but yeah my feet are getting smelly and i talked to my friend greg and he said you know he doesn't share the same issue but he said dude she's getting older bro yeah you start to smell yeah damn i know it sucks dude it sucks that's one of the harder hitting ones oh yeah for me too yeah dude i because of this cold i snored so bad my wife slept in another room wow it's terrible and she gave me the cold so oh that's you know what yeah
Starting point is 01:23:37 to take away snuggles from my dog chad who's your babe of the week my babe of the week samuel l jackson i uh i don't know if i've ever done him before but i mean it goes without saying the guy's an absolute legend too many roles to count i mean he just brings the heat to every movie i think he does and it's like when samuel jackson is in there you know it's going to be a good time and i i just bring him up because i was watching the the negotiator last night great movie get me mark sabian get me mark sabian the opening scene he's wearing that turtleneck and he's talking to his daughter and his wife yeah oh it's great negotiating with his wife he's awesome oh he's not awesome no he's awesome. No, he's a good actor, though. He's one of the best actors ever.
Starting point is 01:24:28 Yeah, he's really good. Yeah, he acted like a woodsman creep for a long time. Then we found out. Yeah, true. My mom always said he was the sexiest actor alive. Really? Speaks to my mom's taste. Oish.
Starting point is 01:24:40 Oish. I hope your dad didn't hear that. She's like, what? I hope your dad didn't hear that. She's like, what? I mean, Samuel L. Jackson and Die Hard 3, Pulp Fiction, all the Tarantino movies, Snakes on a Plane, Shaft, Unbreakable. Is that what it was called? He's in so many movies.
Starting point is 01:25:03 And I like him because he's so professional i watched his master class and one of the better things that one of the cooler things i thought he said he's just like he's very professional i do what i do you know sometimes they try to give you direction i don't take the direction because i do what he's very confident in himself and in his abilities which is really inspiring and he's he's just basically like he's like i'm an actor it's my job you know he's not sort of one of these like i'm an artist and i fucking you know he's like i'm he's like it's my job i go in i do the work i'm prepared i get it done i like that um and uh one thing too is he talked about actors who you know can't watch themselves on screen.
Starting point is 01:25:45 And he's like, if you can't watch yourself, then how do you expect anyone else to want to watch you? Oh, interesting. Which is a cool thing, I think he said, because I think a lot of it is people, oh, I can't watch, and I have that, too. Like, oh, I can't watch myself. It's like, just sack up and watch yourself. And you'll learn, I think, too. It's a little precious, right? Where it's like, oh, I can't.
Starting point is 01:26:08 I'm such an artist. I can't look at myself. Yeah. I mean, you don't want to be watching your own movies at home. Right, right. You don't want to have company over. But come on, you're at the premiere. You can't give it a once over.
Starting point is 01:26:19 Or it's like the editor sending you a cut, you know, and they want notes or something. It's like you've you gotta be able to you know help out in the process i think he's one of the best actors ever yeah especially in tarantino movies like pulp fiction and uh django unchained yeah he looks like he's having so much fun yeah you know he's still very believable but you can feel like it feels like he's having fun yeah scenes yeah yeah and it's uh it's contagious it's gotta be a good hang right oh oh i think he's a killer hang yeah and how old is he he hasn't aged a bit no he looks
Starting point is 01:26:51 great he had some pretty vicious drug problems yeah when he did the movie jungle fever his like team was like he played a crackhead in it they're like don't do it it's too close to home right yeah but he got to the other side of it. That's dope. It's good. He's one of the best. Who's your babe of the week? My babe of the week is air conditioning. It's been hot as balls in LA lately.
Starting point is 01:27:15 In my neck of the woods especially. Just a lifesaver. I don't know what I'd do without it. Air conditioning in my car too is really good. We've been taking my wife's car lately with the baby and like the baby started sweating because we don't have like the vent in the back the way that my car does it's a life changer nice i have the vent in the back for the baby yeah todd berry has a great joke about air conditioning he's like some people don't like air conditioning i'm like yeah what is it besides a perfect solution to a problem? Well, yeah, I just shared someone's tweet about air conditioning.
Starting point is 01:27:53 Like, no, I don't want to come over to your house where you keep the air conditioning at 75 in your fucking terrarium, you lizard. I did see that on yours. That was funny. I butchered it just now. No, you did good. You lizard. That is a funny insult for someone. call a rod at multiple times a year on twitter a rod yeah he's a lizard he's a lizard trying to pretend to be a human nice he's not he's not yeah people don't relate
Starting point is 01:28:18 to him his teammates had always looked like they were like like when they would be celebrating together he just looks so awkward in the in the group you're like yeah this kind of doesn't seem like he knows how to hang he's got all the pieces to be a cool guy but he can't put it together the last time he was in high school the last oscars he was at with j-lo he was doing some weird thing with his teeth i was just like what like he was like doing beaver face like like where you put your upper lip up but that was his smile it was like what is wrong with you when you see someone who can't like smile yeah genuinely you're like something's wrong a lot of distrust there yeah they just don't feel joy yeah like we do um my baby of the week is canelo alvarez his head movement He's like one of the best boxers in the world right now.
Starting point is 01:29:05 And I don't know if it was always this good, but it's just gotten incredible. And so he can just stand right in front of a guy, another one of the best fighters in the world, and he can just dodge their punches for like just beautifully, like just moving perfectly and just subtly slipping and pulling back. And it just looks so incredible. And the thing is, sometimes I think he's just doing it to show he can do it. Like he doesn't always return fire off it or counterpunch.
Starting point is 01:29:27 I think he's just doing it to impress the fans and the judges. And it works. Like the thing with boxing is like, I watch a lot of old fights and like, like Sugar Ray Leonard versus Marvin Hagler. Marvin Hagler probably landed the better punches, but Sugar Ray Leonard's punches looked cooler. And so the judges gave him the fight.
Starting point is 01:29:43 Yeah. And so I think like there's theater in boxing you don't just have to win you have to look like you're winning right and Canelo Alvarez's head movement is like a way to do that even though it's not hurting the other guy yeah and so it's just kind of a that's why every fight should have to be end in knockout you got to end till when he's dead but it's uh it's just it's beautiful and it's it's just kind of theater and I think it's beautiful theater, yeah. Nice. Chad, who's your legend of the week?
Starting point is 01:30:08 My legend of the week is Alan Carr. He's the author of this book, The Easy Way to Quit Smoking. I know I've talked about vaping too much on the pod, but this book is like, out of all the quitting methods I've tried, this book is the one. I've heard that one's legit, yeah. Yeah, because what he does is he reframes your relationship with nicotine and smoking and stuff. He talks about there are a lot of perceived benefits. Helps you with weight loss.
Starting point is 01:30:37 Helps you concentrate. Relieves anxiety. And he basically debunks all those myths um and and then i think the most important thing for me is he sort of he showed that nicotine does nothing for me at all in fact it's purely negative and which you know i would sort of be like in my mind i'd be like oh but it you know it's like a treat for myself it's like uh i love the buzz i love the high and then when you when you sort of reframe your thinking around it you're sort of like he's like he's like you don't you're just feeding the beast that you created with your addiction um of like that you're addicted to
Starting point is 01:31:23 nicotine so you you think in your mind that taking another hit of like a vape or something is going to give you that this relief and this good feeling but really what you're doing is you're just delaying the withdrawal symptoms from the nicotine and so once he reframed that now when i know, and he encourages you to keep smoking until the end of the book. So now, you know, in those times when I've hit the vape since, it's like, now I'm able to be like, oh, yeah, this just makes me feel sick and anxious. And that was huge because now I'm like, oh, I don't really want it anymore. I still have those cravings that are, you know know you just got to get a few days and to get past those but he's like changed my whole relationship with it so i think it's it's guys
Starting point is 01:32:11 if you're looking for a way to quit that stuff alan carr the easy way to quit smoking check it out and i heard about it from nikki glazer on joe rogan oh cool yeah i've heard about it from yeah poff tompkins oh really he worked for him yeah was she vaping uh or she did for drinking he does it for drinking okay and i think she used to quit smoking too nice yeah yeah i was gonna say can it apply to other things you think or yeah he has books for like everything i think i think his books for drinking uh maybe overeating i think all that all that shit i look into it yeah alan car c-a-r-r a-l-a-n your voice cracked that's how i know you care yeah dude that's always a sign yeah when the voice cracks i know it's legit yeah yeah it's tough though it's a beast though because you know i'll get like 12 hours no vape and then in my mind i'm like that sounds really nice then you go
Starting point is 01:33:03 and you spend like 10 bucks to buy one i take a hit and i throw it away i'm like this is so ridiculous i've seen you do that i've seen you almost like rip it open hit it and throw it away it's so ridiculous fucking oh and another thing too is like the withdrawal is like that that's a whole thing with like the the that the tobacco industry i think helps promote is like that withdrawal is so brutal it's like the worst and that that's what scared me off from it because i'm like it's been scaring me it's made me reluctant to give it up because i'm yeah i don't want to be i can't suffer right now i need to get this done or that done exactly exactly and then this is like the withdrawal from nicotine is basically nothing and then once you have that in your mind or you're like oh it's
Starting point is 01:33:40 not it's all psychological it's not that bad now i don't really have any withdrawal symptoms which is like crazy and you're like oh it's all just in my mind it's cool nice yeah that's badass aaron who's your uh legend of the week my legend of the week i've mentioned it several times probably on this podcast is the movie aliens nice wife took the baby out of town for a little weekend that's probably when they picked up this cold we all have never mind uh but that's when i i sat down and re-watched it in my little movie theater at home fucking it the one girl's like a jewish lady actress playing a mexican woman oh really tough badass mexican woman named vasquez yeah other than that when you get past that it's a perfect movie uh and i watched the 1990s uh special edition i always do
Starting point is 01:34:42 because it's got a little more footage that just kind of amps up the tension a little more but i mean that last 22 minutes or something is all real time and this planet's about to explode and she's got to save this little girl and defeat the queen alien i mean sir gorney what's your name ripley ripley i was gonna say riley it's super cool It's a good movie. I've got to watch that again. It's great. Jimmy Cameron.
Starting point is 01:35:08 James Cameron. He knows what he's doing. Well, my Legend of the Week is also a movie that is really good, but it might have a tinge of brownface. It's Birth of a Nation. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. No, I'll keep it cinematic to you legend of the week is martin campbell he's a director you know he's done some pretty uh forgettable action movies but he's done
Starting point is 01:35:34 three great ones golden eye uh mask of zoro and casino royale dude beast and then casino strider had a good critique where he's like is there a bit too much poker in that movie i think he's right there is a little it is a little slow with the poker. Probably is in the book, though, too. Right. The final hand ends completely, like no handle ever in that way. Yeah, right. One guy's got a flush, other guy's got a royal flush.
Starting point is 01:35:56 Yeah. Four aces, yeah. It's a little sensational that way. But, dude, I think what he's the best at is in all three of those movies and i think these are three best movies at it he's the best at shooting one guy versus like 50 people action scenes you know where it's like one guy and he's got to take on like a ton of different people and he's just mowing through minions yeah he's the best at that yeah he tracks the action so well he does it in a way where it like kind of makes sense and uh i don't know i think i think that's like such a staple of action movies and i think he's the best at doing that so i want to give him some love that's awesome yeah he also did edge of
Starting point is 01:36:29 darkness which is good that mel gibson movie that's good yeah okay i gotta watch that he did green lantern though that one of the worst movies of all time dude peter sarsgaard's head when he's turning into the bad guy and his brain's getting all jumbled and huge you're like you're watching you look they didn't put this out did they like no they wouldn't do that no they'd rather kill themselves and put this out no one would want to be this embarrassed yeah has anyone seen sarsgaard is he still in hiding i don't know if that guy's done a movie since then he has he has but i'm just saying he's humiliated uh chad what's your quote of the week my quote of the week is related to my beef the sewage spill the duke uh it comes from billy madison you guys all know you love it so billy and his squad are playing probably one of the best pranks of all time they're
Starting point is 01:37:15 lighting a uh a bag of of dog shit on fire on this guy's porch old man withers i think he's old man withers they knock on the door. He comes out in a wife beater, boxers, and boots. What is it? What do you want? Oh, it's one of those flaming bags again. Don't put it out with your boots, Ted. Don't tell me my business, devil woman.
Starting point is 01:37:43 Call the fire department. This one's out of control. He stomps it out. Smells it. It's poop again. That's my quote. You got to do the next line too. Where they're like,
Starting point is 01:37:58 he called the shit poop. He called the shit poop. I'm going to get you kids. You're all going to so funny uh aaron what's your quote of the week uh my quote of the week is ripley from the movie um she's just dealing with incredible adversity of and no one's listening to her she's like the lone survivor of a of a tragedy and no one will take her advice on anything. And she just says, did IQs drop sharply while I was away?
Starting point is 01:38:31 Actually, no, she says it in the boardroom with the corporation that hired her that owns the planet where the alien ship is on and stuff. She's like, is just no one listening to me? Like there's an alien with acid for blood. That's what makes him tough. It's hard, is just no one listening to me? Like there's an alien with acid for blood. That's what makes him tough. It's hard to cut that dude. Cause he bleed on you and you're a dead man. Um, my quarter of the week is from the replacements.
Starting point is 01:38:54 So there's the main guy, Paul Westerberg, the leads, the lead singer and songwriter, such good lyrics. And so a lot of dudes ask us for advice on how to talk to gals. Right. And there's like really no good answer. Right. So he, he kind of addresses that in this song song this song is called if only you were lonely it's just about a drunk dude at a bar and he goes well i ain't very good but i get practiced by myself
Starting point is 01:39:12 forgot my one line so i just said what i felt if only you were lonely if only you were lonely too if only you was lonely i'll go home with you yeah that's that's awesome. Chad, what's... I want to break into, you know, for that guy who's like nervous about what to say and he doesn't think he ever says the right thing. As a sound guy, I hear a lot of things that most people don't think I'm listening on. It just happens. And I've seen a professional comedian who's been in business for 40 years rehearsing the question he's going to ask another comic
Starting point is 01:39:47 once he gets out of the bathroom. Like I've heard him, he was in front of a microphone rehearsing what he was going to ask this guy when he came back. How did the question go? Did he deliver it well? Totally fine, yeah. Did you think it was overkill, like he didn't need to do that? Of course not.
Starting point is 01:40:02 Oh, okay. But we're all anxious, we're all in our own heads. Right. Everybody in the world. That's cool. Yeah yeah i can't believe tom papa did that oh i actually got it right oh wow he's the other guy oh he was a guy in the bathroom yeah he's a guy coming back wow aaron made a face well i mean you, you're kind of there. Ballpark. Chad, what's your phrase of the week for getting after it? My phrase of the week for getting after it is... Tis but a scratch, my dogs.
Starting point is 01:40:37 Let's fucking rage. Best shout out to... What's his name? Tobias? A Romeo and Juliet character. Tybalt? Tybalt. Played by one of my least favorite actors.
Starting point is 01:40:52 You don't like him in that? Jean-Luc Guzamo? Jean-Luc Guzamo? I don't like him in anything. You don't like his one man shows? No. Actually, I thought he was funny as a stand up kind of. He's got charisma. He was good in Romeo and Juliet.
Starting point is 01:41:03 If you like that sort of thing. I like him. He's the worst thing in the W in Romeo and Juliet. If you like that sort of thing. I like him. He's the worst thing in the Waco miniseries. Oh, really? He's the only one who got an Emmy nomination, which is ridiculous. You got Michael Shannon there. Come on. A good actor.
Starting point is 01:41:16 What's your phrase of the week? Phrase of the week for getting after it. Drop the vape. Grab your ankles. I don't know what that means. Grab your ankles i don't know grab your ankles yeah yeah that's a that's a that's a tall threat are you saying to yoga and stuff yeah yeah sure yeah so my phrase of the week for getting after it is part of a quote that uh jerry stackhouse gave about um about kobe he's one of my favorite players of all time i love kobe but uh there was a story that when kobe was in high school he practiced with the philadelphia 76ers and he lit up jerry stackhouse
Starting point is 01:41:48 who was already in the nba and i guess he did play well but like it was kind of myth building he didn't really light him up yeah so the writer of the book reached out to stackhouse and he goes i reached out to stackhouse a nice man i once profiled for the wall street journal and stackhouse is a badass like he's a no shit kind of dude he dm'd me back what up brother hope all is well probably not the the one to talk much about Kobe to expand on all the myth of him beating me as a high schooler. But to his credit, I've never heard him say it. But he hasn't denied it either.
Starting point is 01:42:16 So basically, fuck him. So yeah, my phrase will be freaking after it is fuck him. Nice. I think that's it. That was fun. That was really fun. Yeah, good stuff, dudes. Yeah, Chattel Seed and 830 were performing for high school kids at the Hollywood Improv.
Starting point is 01:42:31 Yeah, at the Hollywood Improv. They've been doing a lot of these shows where they like bus in a bunch of teenagers or something. I guess. It's the summer, yeah. I heard they're rough, dude. I heard they're tough shows. Yeah, I'm interested to see how it'll go down. They better not be mean.
Starting point is 01:42:43 Yeah, dude. Don't be mean to me, kids. I'm'm gonna come at him hard with the gen z stuff on the tight jeans bro oh yeah you're going straight for the jugular like that destroy him you're crazy bro a whole set what are you guys thinking you're gonna be that inflamed i love it because i'll be wearing tight jeans too yeah but that's that's gonna get him on there that's gonna get him uh that's gonna get him aggressive i'll fight some teens i would love that yeah let's go throw down um guys keep writing reviews love the reviews coming in they help us out a ton and you guys are beasts um thank you so much and drink fruit smash check out our other dogs joe code that's joe maurice's podcast and history is dank that's str's podcast. And anything else to promote?
Starting point is 01:43:27 Check out Helix Beerbongs, the best in the biz. Amazing funnel technology. And if you can play baseball, go to UCI. If you're a high schooler and you can play baseball, go to UCI and play for Danny Babona,
Starting point is 01:43:37 best pitching coach in the country. They should call it UC Newport Beach because it's right there. Yeah. And finally, if you're going to do anal, use Douglas Lubricant.
Starting point is 01:43:48 I love it. Drop the vape it's a little softer all right sweet if you need advice these guys are really nice you wanna know What to do and where to go When you need someone to guide you Just to have the throat beside you Going deep Going deep Black space, I'm going deep We'll see you next time.

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