Going Deep with Chad and JT - Ep. 20 - Poo Bags, Unflattering Photos, and Tom Cruise

Episode Date: May 30, 2018

Chad and JT dive into the world of classic pranks (poo bags, taping), gym approaches, unflattering photos of crime suspects in the media, rivals who turn out to be chill, and show some serious love for Tom Cruise.  As always, babes, beefs, and legends are honored. For bonus content, check out our patreon:  www.patreon.com/chadgoesdeep

Stokers what's up guys how you guys doing welcome to the going deep with Chad and JT podcast I'm here with JT what's up dudes what's up JT just What's up, JT? Just chilling, man. Yeah? Yep. Nice. You want to get into it? Yeah, let's do it. Do you hear about this guy, Michael Rotondo, who was ordered to move out of his parents' house? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. He was living rent-free, and he refused to do chores, so they sued him, and a judge decided that he has to move out. Nice.

Yeah, I saw a photo of him. He looked like a fucking weasel i would be so pissed if like like you're not gonna move out i'm gonna sue your ass i think so yeah oh nice does he have a man bun i think that's him being formal or just a ponytail it's like this is fucking bullshit i think he probably normally wears it down but he went ponytail for the court proceeding do you think if he had not gone with the magenta shirt it would have swayed in his favor

yeah i mean he looks like a used car salesman for sure yeah they always do that when you're um in trouble for something they find like the worst picture of you yeah especially if it's for um sexual improprieties yeah they always find a picture where like one of your eyes is like almost completely closed you probably had a few like gin and tonics and they're like and their mouth is open so it looks like they're like a mouth breather and they're just like and then you see that photo you and you're like, guilty. He did it. You can't help it.

They find the worst pictures of people. Like every photo of Harvey Weinstein. Well, he looks like that constantly. Dude, why isn't your eye work? Yeah, I mean, he just looks like a creep. He looks like Jabba the Hutt. Yeah. And then I remember when Louis C.K. got in trouble and then his manager, Dave Becky, got in trouble for kind of sweeping all the allegations under the rug for so long.

They pulled up a picture of Dave Becky and I was like, and I've seen other photos. I'm like, that's not what he looks like. But the picture they put, he was so sweaty and his eyes were shut and he just had this evil glare in his eyes. Like, and you're like, he did it. He covered it up. I know it. Dude, dude my car i just want to bring this up my car's all sticky out like the outside of my car is all sticky i don't know what well tell people what you think happened i think someone jizzed all over it who do you think would jizz on your car i don't know do you have any suspects

i've gone over my list of enemies Who do you think would jizz on your car? I don't know. Do you have any suspects? I've gone over my list of enemies. I just don't think they could produce that much jizz. Oh, it's sticky from like... It's everywhere. Like all over the car? Outside or inside? Outside. I'm like, did an elephant jizz all over my car?

Right. It's a sticky situation. Someone would have seen that. Yeah. So, I don't know. I mean mean even if someone didges on your car you could do some dna analysis oh dude quick tale my buddy uh robert was dating this girl um i think her name was chanel and she um was kind of rude and i one time like i went to the beach and Robert was there. I was like, hey, where's Chanel? He's like, oh, she had work.

She couldn't make it to hang out today. And then she came walking down the beach with another guy and, like, he tried to play it off. We were all like, dude, she's, like, clearly two-timing you. Yeah. But that doesn't explain why I did what I did. But what I did was she came over to my friend Mike's house and when she was inside

me and another buddy stole her car we drove down the street we went into someone's backyard that had big dogs we took a bunch of dog shit and put them in a newspaper bag and then we sat in the car and held the shit by the heater for like 20 minutes like sweating and just make it smell like shit and she called she's like where the fuck are you i was like we went to in and out we'll be right back she was like fine and then we uh we put this shit under the car seat yeah and then we drove back and we gave her the car and her and all of her she had like five friends they're all waiting in the driveway and they were like they were so mad they were like staring at us and we got out of the car we're like sorry sorry we just want to get some in and out and then they all got in the car and they like

whipped around and then as they were whipping around one of the girls rolled down the window and went and it smells like shit in here and i was like yeah it does and then um like four days later i get a message from robert he's like hey dude it's um robert um chanel's dad found the shit that you guys put in her car. She ended up being super nice to me every time I saw her after that. She was always like, hey, dude, what's up? And gave me a big hug and stuff. And I was always like, but I put shit in your car.

And I think subconsciously she was probably afraid that if she was mean to me, she'd always get shit in her car. Yeah. Dude, in college we had a big poo bag phase like lighting poo bags on people's doorsteps on fire just from like just with like rival dudes yeah yeah and then our friend joey who he lived in a shed i've spoken of him before sorry joey we really took it to you those four years but uh do we like uh one time we were in front of joey's shed and we put a shit bag in front and lit not lit on fire and we were just dousing it with lighter fluid and the flame got like three feet in the air yeah it's scary it's dangerous to play with fire yeah

we put a lot of poo bags we played with a lot of poo bags that year i used to tp'd people during the day yeah and then people would catch me they'd be like what are you doing i go i'm cleaning up oh you might just keep going no i would keep going but they would think i was cleaning up from the night before i'd be throwing it and they'd be like what are you doing here are you tp'ing this person but it was like four in the afternoon so like no one tps during the day yeah and then they'd be like what are you doing are you i think someone gave it to us like someone was like what are you guys doing are you guys cleaning and we're like yeah yeah we're cleaning i had my like 25 year old colombian cuz i was like 14 at the time my 25 year old colombian cousin who was living with us i was like hey can you drive my buddies and i around

we're gonna go tp yeah he was like i'm in dude one time we got a poo bag um it was like and we got like a grocery bag big poo bag laid on fire put it in the middle of the street this was in college and um the cars start coming and this like camaro comes just drives right through it hits it and then we hear these like a block away these stars go like he just stopped and slammed the door to assess the damage oh really yeah dude speaking of all this like bullying stuff i've been watching the tv show cobra kai the update of uh the karate kid it is everything entertainment should be there's not a single misstep in it. I'm only six episodes in, six out of ten,

but I love it so much. I cannot recommend it enough to the stokers. Cobra Kai on YouTube Red. Watch the original Karate Kid and then watch this. It's so good. Do you have to pay for it? Yeah, I think it's eight bucks a month. It's not horrible.

Eight bucks a month? You can use my password. I'll give it to you when we're... YouTube Red. How is YouTube Red doing? I think this is their first hit from what I've heard. Yeah. horrible yeah you can use my password i'll give it to you when we're uh youtube red how is youtube red doing i think this is their first hit from what i've heard yeah yeah they've been taking a lot of swings though i mean they have to have like considerable money well they they swung with logan paul oh they did yeah he was he was like on their sponsored content he was not yeah he was on like

some like high school show i think it's still on actually oh so he was an actor actor yeah he wasn't just doing like vlogs and stuff like that. No, no, no. He was in one of their shows. Yeah, well, I'm going to kickbox him at some point. Yeah, he was playing the high school jock. He was like, you're trying to bone my sister? What?

Yeah, that makes sense. Except I could just see him being like, yeah, bone my sister. Yeah. He doesn't care about his sister. Yeah, bone my sister. Yeah. He doesn't care about his sister. I was on Instagram and I saw this Chive post of this like military dog getting like walked to like, everyone was saluting him.

Because he was like fighting cancer. And they were like walking him to like put him to sleep. And all these dudes were like saluting him. And I like that's amazing that's beautiful yeah man that's so cool yeah that dog's a soldier i wonder what that dog's like if you're in the dog's brain like see like i'm like the best dog i don't think he has any idea for sure he's like oh what's up dudes where are we going like why is everybody saluting me

they're like you're about to die he's like what's death yeah we're gonna put you to sleep sweet yeah good I'll see you guys when I wake up

later dudes later dudes are there any bombs here yeah yeah he's just dogs have a one track mind there's like food no food

are we looking for bombs no bombs yeah i guess i'm chilling then later guys later dudes why is everyone so sad there's a new roller coaster that's the biggest in the state did you hear about this chad's a roller coaster fanatic where let me look at uh is that's Berry Farm? No I don't think so Oh it's Six Flags A new one? Yeah And dude Disneyland's doing a lot of new stuff There's a new Tomorrowland rollercoaster

What? Yeah and they're gonna open a Star Wars Yeah I saw Star Wars and I'm stoked for that But there is a new Hangtime rollercoaster at Knott's too So you knew about that? Yeah I just saw a commercial. Six Flags Great America. The Mardi Gras hangover.

Where's Great America? I have no idea. Is it in New Orleans since it's called the Mardi Gras? No, dude, the Six Flags in New Orleans is... It's abandoned. Dude, you're a beast. I just see it every time I go to New Orleans. Oh, it's in Illinois.

What's your favorite roller coaster? The one that we did? X2? Yeah. Definitely one of my faves Yeah probably X2 X2 is wild It's too wild

I know you were kind of a A little Sally on that one I was not a Sally Dude you were a Sally I strapped in and took it with everything I had You were in line, just all quiet. I'm like, you okay, dude? Yeah, I'm good.

That's not a Sally. It is Sally. No, that's like a... You gotta be amped on the thrills, all right? Dude, I was just focused and locked in. All right, call it what you want, dude. Remember my face? I was like...

Oh, dude, stop, stop stop i was like um all right let's get into it who's your uh who's your uh let's start with uh babe of the week who's your babe of the week all right this one's a tricky one so my babe of the week is this mystery personal trainer at the gym I go to. She is just like fire on fire. Like this blonde, she's blonde, mega babe, in excellent shape. I haven't taken one of her sessions um but from from a distance it looks like she's really hands-on and like really cares about her clients which is really dank um and uh so like the thing about it is like i can't say that much about her you know because

she's kind of like this mystery lady to me that I look at from afar. And like, you know, for the past like four months, I've been wanting to, you know, say what up and just be like, hey, how can I work my triceps a little bit more or something like that. But she has, she's just like, she's there. But I just, to be honest, dude, I'm scared to go up to her, you know. One, I'm at the gym, so'm all sweaty two i think she gets probably she looks like hard to approach and also it's at the gym have you ever approached a lady at the gym no but i know what you mean by the hard to approach thing that does she have kind of like a steely like uh surface where it's like she's very like in command of what she's doing and not to be bothered yeah and also kind of like it's sort of like if you do bother her,

she's just like, what are you doing? You know what I mean? Yeah. So Stokers, maybe you could write in and help me out and just give me some tips on how I can approach this beautiful babe at the gym. I got one. What's up? Dude, just fucking lift so hard that she can't resist.

That's what I've been trying to do you know i got one of those uh hungarian bags bulgarian bags and she was like and i was just swinging it around in front of her you know hoping and she looked a couple times not gonna lie but um it's like a mating dance yeah but i don't really know where to go after that i mean i think you just go to the next lift if you're doing bulgarian bags and a good thing to do after that is just like body weight exercises yeah if you bang out 50 dips in front of her yeah something's gonna happen the thing is she's always with like a client you know so it's like she's like helping out some like lady and i should go like what up like you want to get like apple

bees or something she'd be like um i'm trying to help this girl work her hamstrings. And you're like, for sure. All right. I'll talk to you. Never. Well, then my dog, presupposing you have the funds available, I would sign up for a session. Yeah. It's a little bit duplicitous because your plans are not necessarily to just get jacked, although that's a happy byproduct.

Your plans are actually to get just get jacked although that's a happy byproduct your plans are actually to get to know her yeah but my dad calls that cheating not like actual cheating on a partner but he's just like you're cheating like you're not playing the game by the by the it's like a most fair way to yeah it's like if you try to date like a realtor by like renting an apartment from her yeah that's what my dad did that's why we talked about it yeah um but yeah i would just do a session with her and then i mean dude even if nothing happens maybe you learn some new tricks to tweak your biceps or something so it's still a a happy ending yeah i like that thing is yeah and there is like i i do have i think i pulled my groin and she does give massages.

Oh, I've heard this trick before. No, no, no, no, no, no. Wow, we're reaching. Dude, why is your head already going there, par? Oh, yeah, why is my head going there? Why don't you let me finish the buckets? When my dog's like, dude, I think I ripped my dough and I need someone to give me a hand job. No, dude.

Yeah. But for real, all right? I'll like stretch and it'll like feel fine they'll do sprints again and it hurts again i'm with you dude 100 and i can't just go out there and be like like look i noticed you do massages my groin is just fucking whack like yeah i think she might be a bit suspicious but at the same time but the thing is i'm being honest yeah but that's like being like that's like being like oh like my mouth is chapped can you give me some kisses to moisten my lips like does that make sense yeah I do that all

the time fair enough why why does your head keep going down yeah so I don't know yeah maybe just sign for a session with her she does live on though, you know, because I walk to the gym. My roommate said that he's seen her a couple times walk down the block, so maybe I should just walk the block a little bit more and just be, like, waiting. Yeah, I think that's a bad idea, too. I would just— So no waiting on the block? No, I would not wait on the—

No, I get that, though. I mean, I'm picturing you doing, like, a bad version of it, like, where you're just, like, sitting there, and then she comes up you're like oh hey like yeah you you could probably time it and like block yourself so she doesn't see you so it looks organic but that all seems like uh i could be waiting there all day and too much could go wrong yeah i would just uh i would just do a session with her yeah what if i go like um they're like like hey can i sign up for a session they're like yeah who do you want like yeah we'll set you up with rick i'm like no i don't want to go with rick i want to go with like well who do you want to go with i'm like that the hot blonde

like uh okay well uh a good thing to do that way is to the way i've met my trainers that i've worked out with and they were all dudes though oh except for one joanna was a girl um but we weren't like uh sexually attracted to each other uh i think you just go up to her and be like hey like do a lift that you've seen her teaching people that's pretty specific you know like something that she teaches that's unique go up to her and be like hey like I saw you teaching someone how to do like one leg, like pike squats. Like, could you help me out? I think like my hips aren't like directionally correct. And she'll be like, Oh yeah, sure. And then she'll be like, Whoa, wow. I really felt that. Hey, I've been thinking about doing like a training session. Would you be available for

like a consultation? Like, uh, next Tuesday night around eight o'clock at uh tironi's italian and then she's like i don't train there and you go oh really well maybe we'll just get dinner yeah that's a good line they have great bolognese yeah you know we're meant to be, so I'll find a way. All right. My babe of the week. Who's your babe of the week? My babe of the week is a little, not so little fella named Aaron Donald. Defensive tackle for the Los Angeles Rams. Probably the best disruptor on defense in the league right now

since JJ went out with the bad back. I mean, you could say it's Vaughn Miller, but I'm going Aaron Donald. I just think when you get that kind of pressure from the interior, there's not a lot of people who can do that. It's difficult to duplicate and it's even harder to account for. The thing I like about Aaron Donald too, is that he's only 6'1", so he's a bit undersized for the position and he's only 280, which is also probably on the low end of the spectrum for most defensive tackles. So I like that he's small and a spark plug and that he's got a motor, you know, a lot of things that seem more like, um, intangibles rather than like God given gifts. Um, but one thing that I was just blown away by as I was on the internet the other day

and I saw a photo of him shirtless and the dude is cut. He is so freaking cut at 6'1", 280. Do you know how many people are cut at 6'1", 280? Probably one, Aaron Donald. The guy's got abs, shredded deltoids, and just a good overall symmetry and physical composition. And I just think that's fucking sick, dude. I think it's fucking cool that he's so fucking ripped and he's so good at football. He's not, uh, reporting right now to, uh, optional, uh, training sessions with the Rams. Cause I think he's waiting for that new fat contract. And I know all of his teammates are pulling for it because they know that he's not just a beast on the field, he's also a leader in the locker room i'm actually not sure about that but i'm pretty sure

so aaron donald you're my baby of the week babe wow dude and i've just been uh thinking about ways that i could uh um bone aaron donald but i just don't i want to go up to my dude hey i love that you had like 62 qb pressures last year and um i'd also uh love if you'd uh put some pressure on my butthole that fat dong or your partner i like that approach i think that's a little bit aggressive but i think just play it cool dude you know you're right you're right just play it cool just be like he's like hey you're a pretty cool guy par and you'll be like yeah i can hang out next month he'll be like whoa this guy's on a mission yeah increase the attraction that's what i'm talking about yeah and then he'll bone you oh can i bring up jabow i forgot to bring yeah yeah let's yeah

let's do some more news stuff so due to other breaking news you invented a word it's been in heavy circulation and it was used during a surf competition by chris cope chris cote chris cote uh yeah wow dude uh hopefully hopefully it just keeps permeating the ether and hopefully we get some, you know, celebs to start saying it. And then Urban Dictionary has not confirmed it yet. Well, I'm sure they're going to be getting a lot of pressure from the Jabow community and enthusiasts. So stokers, keep submitting Jabow. Let's get it in there. So Jabowers, keep getting stoked on the Jabow.

Jabow Nation. getting stoked on the jabow jabow nation the thing i like about it not to toot my own dong um is that you can use it in so many different ways you know you could be like hey jabow or you could it's it's a greeting or you know chris cote used it as like uh colo hey and he almost got jabowed by the lip you know there's so many uses for it. So, it's fucking jabow. That's pretty amazing. Who's your beef of the week? You know, I don't want to say what's with particular members of my fraternity, but I'd say it's, I'll just go with a general group. Because when I was a pledge, there was an overall, you know,

when I was a pledge, very early on in, you know, when I was a pledge, very early on in my pledge ship, my Achilles heel was revealed, and, well, basically, I just told them, I was like, I was like, look, guys, you can do anything to me, you know, you can tie me to a tree, you can shove something at my ass, you can make me do the elephant walk you can make me eat gefilte fish that's been out for days you can make me chug any kind of warm 40 you can make me you know flash dong in the quad you can make me do whatever just don't cut my hair that was my hard line i'm like you cut my hair i'm out of this frat and I'm going to go find other bros to kick it with. And I thought, and, um, saying that I knew that I had crossed the line, um, because, uh, then every, you have like interviews to like in the fraternity, you know? So like your interview is like a bro will

be like here's what you're gonna do you know he's like you're gonna chug this 40 and then you pass the interview so you have to pass interview with each bro right and um so every interview they'd blindfold me not everyone but like almost everyone they'd blindfold me and then they put on hair trimmers and they'd like turn them on so you i would just hear them in the background and like you know there's just certain lines you do not cross and when you threaten a man's livelihood like that continually even if it's a joke like that is the one joke you cannot make and so my beef of the week is with you fraternity bros for threatening my livelihood threatening my ability to be me you know because if you had cut my hair i would have not only not been a part of the fraternity i would have also probably gone on a rampage and beat all your asses even though i'm

kind of a smaller dude i would have the rage would have flowed through me because you do not cut my hair. So my beef of the week is with you guys for, you know, trying to go for my Achilles heel, you know, why don't you toughen me up in different ways, you know, make me chug, make me hold dong, make me do other things. Just don't threaten my hair. That's my beef. If they touched your hair, I'd freak out. I'd be like, why are you taking away one of his,

you know, amongst several, but why are you taking away one of his best attributes? I know. What kind of brotherhood is this when we're trying to weaken men where they're strongest? Exactly. It's like, you want me to be a part of the fraternity, but you're going to take away what makes me special?

Yeah. Why don't you make me stronger instead of just trying to scare me? You know, that just shows, I think, just character, you know, the true character. It's like, so I knew who the weak ones were. It's like, oh, you're going to threaten my hair. And then other guys would be like, let's chug. And I'm like, okay, you are actually trying to make me a quality gentleman. Hey, look at Eric.

He's 6'9". Let's cut off his feet. Yeah. It's basically what they were saying. So that's my beef. My beef of the week is with Chewy. Chewy was my bully in second grade. We'd play basketball every day together during recess,

and he would foul me incessantly, hard, and he would call me names. He'd call me Maggot. I didn't know what a Maggot was at the time, and neither did my parents. They were like, I would come home to my parents, I'd be like, this kid Chewy's bullying me. He's like shoving me and hitting me,

and he's calling me names. They're like, what names is he calling you? I'm like, he's calling me Maggot. They were like, what's a Maggot? I like shoving me and hitting me. And he's calling me names. We're like, what names is he calling him? He's calling me maggot. They were like, what's a maggot? I was like, I don't know. And so it got to a breaking point where I was coming home crying every day. So I asked my parents, I'm like, what should I do? And my dad said, John Thomas, you have to hit this kid.

And I said, dad, are you sure? And he said, yeah, punch him. So I went back to school and I was still a little bit uncertain about hitting Chewy. So I went up to the yard duties who were like the, uh, not teachers, but the people who watched us when we were at recess. And I said, I was like, Hey, uh, I forget what her name was. I think it was Lori. I was like, Hey, Lori, Chewy's been bullying me.

My dad said I should punch him. What do you think I should do? And she was like, don't tell anybody I told you this, but punch him. And I was like, all right, I got green lights from the adults. Let's go play some basketball. So I'm shooting some basketball. I'm basically already crying because I know I'm going to punch him today. So I'm just dribbling the ball. Then I dribble down and then he fouls me like he always does. But by the standards of fouls he normally gave me this one was like very minimal so he had no idea what was coming so he fouled me i break into full tears i run up i sock him in the face chewy starts crying i just stand there looking at him crying he socks me

back in the face we're both crying we're staring at each other and then we both at the same time basically go let's go tell the yard duties what we did so we start walking to tell the yard duties that we punched each other in the face i decide on our walk over to the yard duties that um chewy hasn't suffered enough for what he's done to me for the entire school year so i go chewy keep walking up ahead i'm gonna tie my shoes i go down to my shoes. Chewie didn't bother to check. I don't even have shoelaces. I'm wearing Velcros. I strapped the Velcros. I then run up behind Chewie and with an open palm, I swing and strike

him on the back of the neck, which is like a kill shot. I mean, not when a second grader does it, but in any movie with Chuck Norris, that's how you murder someone. Chewie, probably not even out of pain, but just out of truly being betrayed for the first time as a human being, drops to the ground, curls into a ball, and starts crying. These girls come running up,

and they go, you're a monster! You're a monster to me! And they start helping Chewie. And I felt, I was like, you ladies don't even know what he's done. And I walked off defiantly. Like, yes, I rectified an evil. And I am right in the way I dispense justice.

Yard duties see Chewie crying on the ground. They ask him what happened. They come and grab me. They bring us both into the office. At this point, I hadn't turned into the enfant terrible that I would become later in life. So I got doled out a much lesser punishment than Chewy because he was punching a lot of kids on the yard. But Chewy and I ended up becoming homies after that. And a couple months, maybe even a year later, we were doing a food fair at school. And there was this one kid just literally bullying people on the uh at the uh playground

and uh and i said hey quit bullying people dickweed my mom was watching this whole thing and then he's like fuck you bitch and then i went fuck you and i ran and we started fighting and he was actually winning he was like a real evil sick fuck like he was like digging his nails into me and like swinging his feet and just being all sorts. Like I was doing like karate. I was like trying to fight with some honor and he was just like ripping and growing on me. And he's on top of me and he's just like putting dirt in my face and like scraping my face. I'm like, Oh, you sick freak. I'm like, this kid's a good bully who comes and tackles them.

Julie. And then Julie and I went to work on this kid. I think the kid still ended up getting the best of us, but we survived. And then my mom was like, good job, John Thomas. You stood up for people. That was good of you. And I was like, yeah, now my face is all jacked up.

She's like, yeah, that hurts, huh? And I was like, it does hurt. She was like, okay. So Chewie's a hero. Yeah, Chewie ended up being a good guy. He just had a, probably had some older brothers who were hard on him. And then, you know, shit flows downhill. So he was taken out on us on the basketball court.

Yeah. It's an inspiring story. Thank you, dude. I like how the wisdom that adults have shown in these instances. Oh, yeah. Dude, fight his ass yeah yeah literally the yard duties who like worked there every day and were there to protect the kids i was like what should i do and one of them laurie was like from like a really rough part of chicago she was like

you gotta fuck them up jt and i was like on it and then the next day i was like hey i punched him she's like you did the right thing. And then we talked about basketball. We both love basketball. Can I do my legend of the week first? Cause yours is going to be so controversial. Guys, my legend of the week is Obadiah Khan, Genghis Khan's son. Now Genghis Khan was the greatest conqueror the world has ever known. I he conquered like two-thirds of the known world at the time using uh just a ruthless and well-trained army of steep soldiers they would ride on their horses and they would just mow through city after state after town and they dominated gangas khan he dies and then this is where things get interesting because it's easy. It's easy to inherit the empire. It's harder to maintain it. So Obadiah Khan was his son. He's

supposed to be a really smart dude. And the thing that I liked about Obadiah was that he was funny. And by the way, this is all stolen from hardcore history. So if you guys are interested, I would listen to hardcore history, specifically the Wrath of the Khan episodes where I've stolen all this information from i have no other sources is that podcast yeah with dan carlin it's so good um obadi was an alcoholic and so he was a good ruler but his drinking was getting to be a problem so his uh commanders were like obadi you're only allowed to have one glass of wine a day. And he says, all right, commanders, I agree. And so he had his blacksmith make him a cup this big.

My hands are about three feet wide and that's what he would drink every day. And he was like, it's one cup. They were like, that's not a cup. That's like a cauldron. He's like, it's a cup. And he ended up, uh, and then he ended up getting sick. And the commanders were so worried that they wouldn't be able to manage the empire without him. Because it was spread thin at this point.

And people were getting promoted who probably didn't deserve to be promoted. And other clans of people were advancing militarily. And they were ready to fight back. And so they were really afraid to lose Obadiah. So they had a shaman come in and he was looking over Obadiah's unconscious body. And he's like, Obadiah, we promised to the gods that if you come back, uh, no, he said, gods, please bring Obadiah back. And as sacrifice, we will kill someone from the Khan clan. And like a minute after that, Obadiah wakes up. And so they go to Obadiah and they go, Obadiah, hey, you came back because we promised the gods that we would sacrifice someone from your family.

And then the first thing Obadiah said was, who's here? But I just like that Obadiah was able to maintain the empire that Genghis built and that he, you know, was able to overcome some of his deficiencies as a person. And I also just really think the name Obadiah is sick. So my legend of the week is you, Obadiah Khan. Who's here? What a savage. I wish I could have kicked it with Obadiah. Yeah, he sounds like a beast.

I wish I could have kicked it with Obadiah. Yeah, he sounds like a beast. Yeah, they said Genghis too, like when reporters at the time, whatever you'd call them, historians or like other people who took notes of what they saw were with him, that all the other guys would be like partying hard and Genghis would just be in the corner kind of chilling, like more low-key, just sipping on his drink, but not being ostentatious about his station.

And I think that's a big part about why they were so successful as as murderers epic oh my legend of the week is the legend himself tom cruise now i'd like to take a quote from jt and say that his one thing about tom cruise is his charisma is so high octane that's jt quote and you know in every movie that he's just he just dominates every movie and he's just a fucking beast all around you know i i i want to go ahead and say one of the greatest movie stars of all time he's dominated cinema for what like 35 years something like that with all his movies maybe you can help me out with the history since you're more of a film buff um but uh he just uh i'm just always in awe of his you know

and a lot of critics have come down on him for his scientology ways and to that i say shut up and enjoy the fucking show you know because um he's a beast and also another quote from jt is that on movie sets he'll remember everyone's name he'll know the whole script line for a line and he'll know the names of the crew members parents which that's going above and beyond so this guy apparently he's just you know one of the nicest guys in hollywood he'll know everyone's name he'll he's one of those guys where if you see if you knew him 20 years ago and you haven't seen him since then you see him like today once you see him he'll be like oh what's up jimmy how's the family how are your parents rob and kim and you're like wow you really are on top of your game and

he's like yeah i'm fucking tom cruise you know so um i just want to make tom cruise my legend of the week dude your smile is so infectious every time i see you in a movie it just fills me up with so much stoke i can't handle it it's just like fucking jabow you do action you do your own stunts you're a tremendous actor you can do drama you can do comedy and one of my favorite roles of tom cruise is uh his role in uh tropic thunder where he plays uh what's the guy's name less moon blasts less something like that and i think that just shows his uh comedic chops um like paul thomas anderson said that he's his favorite you know um which is huge and um he can do it all so i just want to commend you tom cruise and you know there's controversy surrounding you but i ignore that because i think you're a legend you're my favorite movie star

you're a beast keep doing your thing i will always be rooting for you he's the best he's one of my favorite actors of all time yeah i think he's so dynamic on screen he's so committed to everything he's doing yeah what so what are your what are your favorite tom cruise performances less grossman's the name in tropic less uh less grossman the mission impossible series um i like risky business cocktail did i like them all vanilla sky was dank wow vanilla sky yeah vanilla sky and also his hair dude i totally like when he had that long hair like mission impossible 2 like get the fuck out of here dude you can't really beat that it looks good yeah and he got braces after that movie oh really he's? He's so inspiring in so many ways. Good hair, good looks, good dynamic acting, good comedic chops. What else do you need?

He can do it all. Solid memory. There's another movie, A Few Good Men. Oh, man. So good one. Cappy. Yeah. Jerry Maguire.

Yeah. Anything I'm missing? I think that was his peak uh period as an actor yeah anything anything of note for you uh of his films that i really love i mean i liked his most recent movie american made i thought that was really cool he's a little bit old for the part but if anyone can do it it's him um what else i mean i love him in magnolia i I love him in all the Mission Impossible. What's your favorite Mission Impossible? I think two.

Oh, interesting. The John Woo one. Yeah. Where there's a lot of like the Kung Fu stuff. I think a lot of that is just nostalgia because I saw it as a kid. And I was just so amped when I saw it. It's a wild fucking movie. That motorcycle scene?

Can't really beat that. He does get his ass kicked. The thing about the Mission Impossible movies is he just is continually getting beaten down. Yeah, like thrown into things. Yeah. Oh, Collateral's really good. Oh, Collateral's great. The Michael Mann movie.

Eyes Wide Shut is very good. Minority Report. Minority. Dude, there's so many good ones. The Last Samurai. I love that movie. Oh, I love The Last Samurai. Yeah. Minority Report. Minority. Dude, there's so many good ones. The Last Samurai. I love that movie. Oh, I love The Last Samurai. Yeah.

Very good movie. Tell me how he died. No. I will tell you how he lived. Fuck, dude. Dude, the romance that ensues between him and I don't even know her name. The lady. It's very chaste.

There's not much physical intimacy. lady. It's very chaste. Like there's not much like physical intimacy. Just like Tom's, his stare. He's just like, he gives her the look. Are you going to watch me bathe? Nice. I mean,

we haven't talked about Top Gun yet. Fuck. There's so many movies. That's the thing is like, I know we're going to listen back to this and be like, Tom, we did you a disservice.

But it's like, when I was going through it, I'm like, I feel like I'm doing that right now. No now no not at all he's been doing hits for 35 years you can't cover it it's a podcast onto itself yeah i listened to his nerdist podcast oh he was on that yeah he's great did hardwick ask the tough questions about uh scientology no yeah i'm jk and he yeah he, and the thing is too, he's, he loves his craft so much that he's like,

he watches a movie a day and he just loves everything about storytelling. I mean, I think that's one of the things I love about him most. And I'm, it's something that I think I always tell you, you're Tom Cruise. It's one of the things you guys share is the discipline. Oh,

thank you. He's a very disciplined person. Yeah. I respect. Do you watch the video highlight of him recently breaking his leg, like jumping building to building? I saw the, I haven you watch the video highlight of him recently breaking his leg like jumping building to building i saw the i haven't seen that video highlight but i've seen the i've seen that stunt right right hurt himself yeah he's and he still finishes like he crawls up and and

like you know does what he's supposed to do in the scene yeah dude he does everything he like when when ducati has new motorcycles they give him the motorcycles to test them. I am surprised that he rides motorcycles, you know, because, like, you know, if he falls... If he falls, his reflex times are like... I know. I'm sorry I doubted you, Tom. Fuck. I should go do push-ups just because I just doubted you.

Fuck me. Tom Cruise, if you're listening to this, which I'm sure you are, please can we hang out? I think he listens to podcasts on like four fast, though. You know how you can speed up listening to a podcast? You know, he cranks it up to like eight. He's done with it in like 15 seconds. But remembers everything.

What if we saw him? What if we saw him and he's like, oh, Chad and JT, what's up? Going deep. Episode four, when you guys talk about Logan Paul, had me dying. Minute 17, second 32. Very funny. I noticed that transition point at 18. Who did that?

You're like, who the fuck are you dude yeah yeah i yeah i was uh i sent gifts gifs or whatever of tom cruise are we sending those to a lot of people it's like my whole contact list because i was so anti there's there's a gif out there guys of tom cruise when he's rock climbing in mission impossible 2 and he's hanging on like his both arms are spread wide and you see his flow come into his face and then he gives like a big breath and then he like opens his eyes i sent that to like everyone in my contact list last night and uh not as many people responded as i thought should have i was expecting shocking i was expecting because i sent another one to a Vin Rames. That's who it is. Yeah, yeah, yeah. A Vin Rames saying, typical Ethan.

Yeah. So I sent those two. And I should have gotten 100% response rate. Probably like 50. So people who didn't, you're out of my life later. All right, guys. This podcast is brought to you by one of our sponsors helix beer bongs the best in the game when it comes to good flow of brewski through your tubes guys you like to party you

like to chill you like to kick it you like to funnel brewskis into your gullet and they can go in your stomach and make you drunk as fuck that's why helix beer bongs is here with their new patented valve technology which they use this thing it's like a in miller light where they have like the grooves and the bottles they implemented that into their beer bongs so you get full flow of beer there's no air in there so when that beer goes down into your belly it it's all brewski. There's no air, so you don't have to burp it back up, which is always painful. Maximum flow, excellent valves, excellent tubes. I believe they're imported from Magnol. No, they're imported from France.

And the funnels are imported from Italy. They're marble. Yeah. Italy. They're marble. Yeah. So, guys, next time you party, choose Helix beer bongs. That was an excellent copy. Helix, thank you, dudes.

I've been hitting your beer bongs daily, even sometimes without beer, just putting whatever fluids I got through them. It's good shit, man. Yeah. All right, Stokers, It's good shit, man. Yeah. Alright, Stokers, let's get into some questions. What up? I've been a loyal listener since the very first episode, and I think you guys really shed light on a lot of issues and give a

path towards self-help. I come to you with a serious dilemma. I was talking with this babe for a couple months, and she is a total smoke show. She's from England, and that accent really gets me going. She called things off because she was still attached to her ex who's a total deadbeat. I've since tried to move on and started courting a girl that is going to vet school and has a pretty killer rig. She's great and we vibe. She even likes fro-yo. My dilemma is that Great Britain has since realized the mistake of letting me go and that her ex is pretty worthless and doesn't

care about her. She's sending hints she wants to get back with me. What do I do if there are still feelings for the babes with the accent? Should I continue my path with vet school girl or rekindle that old flame? Best regards, Dave. What up, Dave? Thank you for your kind words, dude. My first instinct is go with this new girl, the vet, because I don't like how flip-floppy this British girl is. I think maybe she's realized what she lost, but in my opinion, it seems like she's a flip-flopper.

So I think it's going to be an ongoing trend with her. So this new girl sounds promising, and if you really like her, I would move forward with her. My dude. Yeah, it's hard for me to say. I mean, my default would be follow your heart. If your feelings are so strong that you can't resist them, then you don't want something like that eating away at you while you try to live your life. life but following what chad said i also agree that if you've made a commitment to vet school you need to continue that and give it your best college try and if after that doesn't work you want to pursue some pursue something else well so be it but but you got to go for it i like how you keep telling me this this other dude's like a total deadbeat. I'm curious about that. Because here's the thing, dude.

Sometimes I wonder, like, with people, like, if they're calling their ex a deadbeat and then they call their other ex a deadbeat, then the likelihood is at some point, if you guys break up, she's going to call you a deadbeat and then they call their other X a deadbeat then the likelihood is at some point if you guys break up she's going to call you a deadbeat but the real common denominator is her it's a little premature for me to be suggesting

that but something to keep an eye on that's a smart call you think so thank you hey Chad and JT oh wait I have one so I don't have it right in front of me but a stoker wrote into me on instagram and he said what's up chad and jt how do i how do my friend and i deal with uh us being eskimo bros with the same girl and then two months later she's pregnant and says

either of us could be the dad what do we do i? I got this message a couple of weeks ago. So, uh, that's heavy. I think both of you guys just prepare to be the dad and turn it into like fun competition where it's like, dude, I'm going to be a way better dad than you. It's like, if you're the dad, he's like,

I'm for sure going to be the dad. And you just like bone up on like father knowledge, read a bunch of books, you know, get your life set up, like your apartment set up. So you can like have a crib and accommodate a child. And then whichever one of you turns out not to be the dad, you just, you know, move on.

But you'll have a great skill set for the next girl you meet. Pampers? Nice, dude. I got huggies, bitch. Right. Yeah. I like that. That's a solid move.

Yeah. I wouldn't freak out. Just, you know, yeah, take it with a positive note and, you know, enjoy being buddies with your bro. And then whoever wins the dad comp, good on them. And whoever loses, that's your godfather. Nice. This is positive vibes today.

It's good stuff. All right. Hey, Chad and JT, love the pod. Y'all have really gotten me stoked about working out and spreading the good vibes. Thanks, dude. That's wonderful. I want to know your thoughts on dating without apps. No, you should always eat appetizers when you're dating.

I moved to Houston, Texas a year ago and I'm originally from the East Coast. I've dated a few guys I met through Bumble down here but I'm not sure if they're even really my type. They also don't seem to really dig my sort of hippie vibes, I guess. Since I'm not from here originally and work for a small company, my friend base is kind of small here too. Do you think it's possible to find a chill dude without having to meet them through apps? Any ideas for meeting guys organically? I'd love to hear your thoughts. Peace. Sarahah sarah thank you so much for writing in i'm always stoked

when we get a female question and so any female listeners keep writing in questions it does feel good yeah yeah i'd say non-apps is preferable uh whenever i go on a date with a girl from a dating app it's usually usually is i don't know what from a dating app, it's usually, usually it's, I don't know what there is about it, but it's not, it doesn't really work out. But, um, so in terms of tips for how to meet dudes, um, just get out in the world, you know, don't be afraid to approach dudes. I think we're, we live in a time where that's more and more acceptable. So, you know, go places where, you know, that pique your interest. So hopefully you'll find a dude where you guys share similar passions. You know, go paintballing.

Go make pottery. Go, you know, make creme brulees. Basically, maybe hit up Strider and see what he and his GF do. I don't know if that applies. Just go out there. Don't be afraid to talk to dudes. Just get out in the world and you'll find a solid guy. Sarah, I think you're going to have great luck finding someone compatible for you.

You seem super chill. I think trying to do it without apps is noble. I mean, with apps, you can cast a wider net, but it can also turn dating into sort of a video game, at least from the male perspective. And I find that it's fun at first, but it's diminishing returns after a while. I would say the best thing I could tell you isn't like a specific place to go, but just a mentality to have lean in to getting out of your comfort zone. The more you get out of your comfort zone, the more you kind of like risk being in places where you might not meet someone, but there's a lot of people around. Cause that's

the thing. It's like, I've gone to bars being like, I'm going to meet someone. And I just stood at the bar and didn't talk to anyone the whole night. And that hurt. I was like, man, I wish I would've been more outgoing, but over time, that built up strength and it built up comfort with those kinds of experiences. And then at other nights I was ready for it and I did meet people. So just be willing to not feel comfortable and realize that that's how you're going to build strength and confidence in yourself. So just keep getting out there. Keep going to the places Chad was talking about, like paintballing or the bar or, you know, like CrossFit or something like that, because you're working out a lot. So, I mean, that's a good place to meet guys who are active. And yeah, just anytime you're like, you know what, I just want to stay in and be lazy. I mean,

you know, you got to practice self-care, but, but just, just be like, but actually I'm going to force myself to go out to this, uh, you know, Buffalo Wild Wings and just hold down, hold down my own little fort at this bar stool. And, and, and I promise something good is going to come your way. Yeah. And go towards the, uh, go towards the fear. I, um, always, I always go towards towards the fear i'm learning that in my own life as well you know there's a lot of times where uh because i i'm a pretty uh i'm i'm breaking out of this currently i've been working on it but um in my life i've tended to sort of keep to myself and unless i'm with my squad you know like i don I've, it'd be tough for me to like approach strangers. But now if I see like someone that I want to approach or something, um, my go-to instinct is like, just turn around and walk away and go watch men in black or

something. But, um, you know, these past couple of times I've, I've literally, I've turned, like I was at beach, I was at the beach the other day going to surf. I walked by this girl and I was like, oh, whoa. I walked by, I'm like, ah, he doesn't say anything. So I walked by, I make it like 20 feet. And I'm like, you know what? You're going to regret not saying anything and you're going to get down on yourself. So I turned around.

I said, what up? We had a great conversation. She was in the philosophy and she's a mega babe and we connected. So go towards the fear. Always. Yo, what's up, Chad and JT. So go towards the fear. Always. Yo, what's up, Chad and JT? I have a serious dilemma that is killing my vibe. I have my wedding coming up within the next month,

which has me super stoked. Congratulations. It will be a decent sized wedding with a lot of my friends here, there. However, and unfortunately, I've decided not to invite some friends that I'm not particularly close with or have even communicated with in months to a year.

They've recently hit me up pretty aggravated that they have yet to receive an invite. When they came back into the college town to party though, I never hit up. I'm never hit up to join them. If I'm not even hit up to go out to go raid the nightlife with them, doesn't it make sense that they won't have an invite to the wedding? Should I send them an invite to make them happy and keep the bad vibes away or stick to my guns and say sorry bro sorry for the long question and thanks for the dope pods every week anonymous do not that long of a question no worries dog brother man it's your day dude you cannot be stressing about some people who are going to try and make you feel bad for not including them when it's the one day where you're allowed to do exactly what you want. Yeah. Totally concur with that. Do what you want. Invite

who you want. It's your party, man. If you don't feel close to them, if you don't want them there, they don't have to come. Here's the thing. If I don't get invited to your wedding, guess who I'm thinking about? I'm thinking about myself. I'm looking in the mirror and I'm saying, what did I do to not get invited to this wedding? Like, how did I blow this? You know what I mean? I love going to weddings. I've caught in the garter belt at six straight weddings.

I'm going to put out a video, a highlight reel of me catching them all. So stay tuned for that, Stokers. And I get invited to every wedding. You know why? Because I put the time in. Because when I come back into town, I invite everybody.

You know, if these people aren't getting invited, it's on you. Don't write this guy being like, why aren't I it's on you don't write this guy being like why aren't i getting invited look in the mirror and be like why aren't i getting invited yeah i had a friend nobody showed up to his birthday party one time i was like dude and he was pissed off at everybody i said dude if no one shows up to your birthday party if one person doesn't show up to your birthday party maybe you're a little upset at that person if nobody shows up to your birthday party, maybe you're a little upset at that person. If nobody shows up to your birthday party, that's on you. Yeah. Good call. Steven,

I tore my MCL surfing six weeks ago and still can't shred. How do I get my stoke back up? Bummer, dude. There's nothing worse than being incapacitated. I mean, my groin is pulled and I still get out there

because I can't. It's the worst. So I totally feel for you, dude. I would, uh, and that was, this was inspired by par. Actually, I would take it upon yourself to learn new stuff, find new interests while you're being, uh, um, you know, while you're resting, because you don't want to just do and be like, oh, I can't do anything. Just, you know, make use of the time you had. Go read. Sign on to one of those master classes. Become an astronaut.

That's something I want to do. So take the time that you have and invest it in something where you can better yourself as a dude. Yeah, dude. And also, you know, just take solace in the fact that it's an mcl not an acl and that it's something you can bounce back from you know there's other injuries that permanently impair us

but this one is one that you can recover from so uh yeah just uh do your best to enjoy the solitude but like my dog chad, being incapacitated is no fun. But soon enough, you'll be back to one hundo, my dog. Wow. Sup, Sto Gurus? Was in a weird situation last night. Was at the bar ripping up the dance floor

with some unheard of moves. And later when I went to the urinal, the guy next to me was full on glancing over at my rig. I get in my birthday suit a lot when I party like JT, so I don't mind showing my stick around. But this guy made it different when it was just us two. How should I have combated this move from the stranger? What do you do? Dude, Ari, yeah, thank you. I was at the 24-hour fitness in a sexually very liberated part of town one time,

and a dude walked into the shower on me and I just turned to him calmly and I was like, what up? And then he's like, what are you doing? And I was like, I'm showering. And then he was like, so what's up? And then I was like, I'm just going to keep showering. And then he was like, uh-huh. And then I was like, can you leave? And he was like, yeah. And he finally walked out of the shower and, you know, I don't want to be egotistical, but it felt to me like he had sexual intentions with me. And it did make me feel a little bit violated. So the first thing I would do is say, that's how girls feel all the time.

Us dudes aren't aware of it because people don't put that sexual pressure on us a lot. But it does make you feel very vulnerable when someone makes you feel cornered, uh, in a sexual way. So, you know, take this as a moment to increase your empathy and be like, Oh dude, I should be more gentle and sensitive towards ladies. Cause it is a weird feeling when you feel like someone really wants to have sex with you and you don't really want to have sex with them. And then the next thing I would say, dude, is that, um, you know, you can't really do much to the dude. You just got it. I mean, you can say something, but I would just let bygones be bygones and walk away and just realize that, you know, being the way you are,

there's going to be some consequences for it. If you're swinging your stick around a lot. I mean, I know in this situation you were doing everything by the societal book, but it happens. And yeah, sometimes I do feel a little bit exploited. You know, I've had friends who are like par get naked, get naked when I didn't want to get naked. And I was like, look, a lot about me getting naked is that it's my choice in it. And when I feel pressurized to do it, it takes the fun out of it. But once you have a rep for doing stuff like that, it's the cost of doing business. So I't know dog um i think you did the right thing just writing into us and understand that i feel where you're coming from but i don't really know what you could say to the homie yeah i think you nailed it right there i don't have anything to add come on dog

you nailed it thanks dude no i've uh you you know. You're a hot dude. Oh, thanks. So people are obviously, they objectify you at times. Yeah. Yeah. There it is. I haven't thought about that. There it is.

Rise and shine, you surfboardy little stokers of unipotent splendor. My name is Cooter, and I was inquisitive. You too. Magnificent magpies of margatitious wisdom could add in the addendum process of a bar crawl. I'm planning. It's called the Paul crawl and the rough clay is slamming some sans crust tuna sandwiches, hitting some bars for strictly Corona chugging and ending the night at some bar that will play F and F for us. There is a dress code. Black or white tees with jeans. Bonus points for a fire pair of cons. Shout out to Kristen Stewart. Anything I'm missing?

Racing Hot Wheels down the sidewalk. Need for speed underground comp. Having my best bro fall in love with a blonde Betty and make me question what family's all about. Hijack the juke and play 12 hours to see you again. I don't want this crawl to be archaic and amorphous. I want this maiden voyage to legend. Wait for it, Walker. I know Brian is quoted saying what we do best, we improvise, but I don't know

if that pertains to an honorable action of pure reverence and tranquil commemoration. I want this to be a smooth bone, not a sandpaper dry run. Anything would help. Sorry if I went ham on the keys here. P.S. Strider is possibly one of the funniest and insightful SOBs I've ever had the pleasure of hearing since Hal Holbrook did FDR on Broadway. Good reference, dude. Did he do FDR? I thought he was more known for Mark Twain. That's interesting.

I'll check it out. Seriously, jailbreak him out of Benihana and make him a third spot on the part. We're definitely going to have him back on soon. Maybe next week. Yeah, he's a regular for sure. My usage of dude has exponentially increased as my stoke has over the coast of your pod. Never stop blessing the world with your infinite sagacity. Great word, dude.

I first heard Michael Mann say that on the director's commentary for Miami Vice. I've never been this cogent-minded in years. PSS. I plan on donating to your Patreon. He breathed like my dog. Once I get more muns, i'm filling up your piggy bank as fast as i'm filling up my nas tank also chad's poem to melania was fucking fire cry to helix bump cry to helix beer bongs worth of man tears outie five dowdy dude do we have some like english

majors dudes writing these questions scholarly fan very scholar yeah dude i just want to commend you for writing in a fire question the details everything about it which just got my stoke tank through the roof so thank you my dog um what was the question uh he wants to do that pub crawl about paul oh right dude you got it all figured out it's gonna be to be fire. You got it, dude. Nothing to add. I was like, this sounds like an amazing party. What's the question? Yeah, exactly.

Just invite us. And if you need someone to work for you, I'm available. Yeah. So everything about it sounds great. Sounds like it's going to be a smooth bone. So, you know, put on that Douglas lubricant and slide in, dude. Yeah, you got it all figured out, dog. You're solid.

Sup, bros? I currently find myself in a situation where a difficult decision must be made. Quick backstory. My grandpa was the man. One of the most influential people in my life. He passed away when I was 13, and my grandma still has his car. I'm 21 now, and she's looking to get rid of it because she's too old to drive.

This is a mid-2000s Nissan Altima with minimal mileage, talking less than 50k. From top to bottom, this car epitomizes practicality from killer gas mileage, outstanding legroom, safety, and of course, a special place in my heart because my young ass self used to ride along with my gramps in it. But I already have a car, which I have named Vivian. Vivian is a 1995 Volvo with an awful paint job. The ceiling is falling, no AC, and it's simply just not a pretty ride. But me and Vivian have been through

it all. Two girlfriends, two dorm rooms, an off-campus AC, and it's simply just not a pretty ride. But me and Vivian have been through it all. Two girlfriends, two dorm rooms, an off-campus apartment, and countless road trips. Volvos are some of the safest, comfiest cars on the road, except she's really heavy and gets crappy gas mileage. Yes, I assign my car a pronoun. I think that's fire. Chad, I know how much you love your hybrid Ford Escape, so maybe you can relate to this. Do I go for Graham's old car, which is clearly just a better option when I use my brain,

or do I stick with my girl Vivian and all 130,000 miles who's been there for it all? While both vehicles mean something to me sentimentally, I really am torn. I can't portray Vivian like this. Thanks, bros. Keep up the good work. From an objective standpoint. Get objective, dog. When you were describing your grandpa's car, I felt a burst of amp.

Like I just chugged like a five-hour energy. I'm like, that is a fire car, and you should totally go with that. I understand the sentimentality of Vivian, you know, and there will always be a place for Vivian in your heart, and I totally respect that, dude, like for real. But I think it's time i mean i think you in the way you wrote it yourself you know i think you answered the question you got to go with this new car it's time to let vivian ride into the sunset because again you know with anything

with like you know it with like you know if in like performances or anything, if the guy stays, if the performer stays on too long, you get tired of him and you start to hate him. You don't want to start to hate Vivian. You want to cherish those memories. So, uh, it's time to say goodbye. Smart, dude. I would offer one other piece of advice, dude. I think you obviously have to switch to the Ultima and you know, it's like any relationship, you know, you climb Everest and then sometimes you break up and you got to go back to the base and climb Everest again. But once you get to the top, you're going to feel good and you'll build that intimacy with this next car, the same kind of relation that you had with Vivian. And I also think maybe rather than selling Vivian, because

you don't want to dishonor her legacy by giving her to someone else. And you know, she's already got a lot of miles on her. So you might not catch that much money anyways. Maybe, um, after you get the Ultima, you drive Vivian out to the desert and you light her on fire. Hey, Chad, what's up, par? I'm a big fan of the pod and commend you two for the following you have grown in such a short amount of time. I'd also like to encourage future Strider appearances.

He's coming, dude. We love him so much. As much as I love gleaning grit from the Harbingers of Stoke, Strider brings a relatable side to the show that resonates with borderline Barnes and small dong wielders such as myself. Strider is like Ringo or Joe Biden. Sure, I couldn't write Abby Roadside Bee,

but I'm still a nice guy and love my job at Benihana's. I need some advice with courting a girl that I've been friends with for a few years now in high school i did some really dumb stuff to impress this girl like stealing some street signs and making a fire mix cd been there brother we keep in touch now yet i often feel as though she is either interested in my dong and possibly more or just leading me on deciphering this dichotomy of signals is always like cracking the german enigma should i make a move or cut off communication to avoid being led on further?

Here are some pros and cons to any of your decisions. Pros, great music taste, tight female rig, smart like whip, eats peanut butter. Cons, hates weed. In the end, I would be just fine. In the end, I would be fine just maintaining a friendship with this chick. However, I feel as though often when I switch into friend mode with a girl, this side of my personality makes her attracted to me. Can dudes and babes with solid rigs be just friends?

Do you ever feel that we continually just date different versions of the same person? What if I don't like that person? You don't have to read this part on the pod if it's a downer. Thanks for the help and weekly smoke stoke sessions. Russell, he crossed out smoke. Shout out Rincon Point. Shout out Sweeker. Free Strider 2020.

So is he, this girl's interested in him? yeah, he's not sure and he's wondering if guys can be friends with girls dude, they can you absolutely should have girlfriends you know, it's good and you get a perspective that you won't get from your dudes but here's one thing I will say

a lot of guys I know who are friends with girls aren't being honest with themselves about what they really want from that girl and that can be fine too, a lot of people can manage that over a lifetime. But I was friends with some girls where I clearly was looking for more. And at some point, it just got too hard for me to keep being in pain. You know what I mean? And I was like, you know what? I just really can't be your friend anymore. I like you too much. And they were like, I thought you were my friend. And I was like, I did too. I guess I'm a liar, but I was lying to myself. my friend and I was like I did too I guess I'm a liar but I was lying to myself like I just I need to take some space to really think about what I want and how I can achieve that and it's selfish

but it's also honest so I don't know man if this girl doesn't want to date you and you really like her you might have to get a little space I'm sorry to say yeah I agree with that that's always tough it's really hard because you love the person you want to be nice yeah when you always feel that kind of uh there's like yearning especially when they like when you can tell they like you and you're just like i feel bad you know oh yeah it cuts both ways especially when you get all like chummy and stuff yeah especially too because he's right you know like when you when you switch to friend mode with a girl oftentimes that makes you more attractive to them i think because you take away that kind of like bullshit like um oh like you know be attracted you know what i mean like be attracted to me because i'm you know doing this when you just take that away i think they're like oh this is like a dude whatever yeah it's tough dude bros, my fellow bronzer and I need some help.

We have a complete babe for a swim coach, but she is way out of our league and she's over 18 and we are still in high school. What should we do to have a shot at this new goddess that has crossed our path? P.S. Love the pod, bros. Justin and Wyatt. P.S. Love the names Justin and Wyatt.

What was the question? They have a super hot swim coach and they want to hook up with her. How do they do it? They're in high school. She's not. Butterfly stroke, dudes. Show those shoulders flex flex flex same yeah same plan i gave a chad for uh the gym instructor like just work out super hard in front of her you know talk to her find out what she's into and then the biggest thing is is like when she cracks a joke to make everybody

laugh make major eye contact but don't laugh because dude teachers i realize as teachers a big part of what is fun for them or instructors is the attention they get from the group and the respect they get from the group and and and it feels really good when everybody's like, you know, looking up to them. So if you can look up to them, but at the same time, be aware of the dynamic that they're expecting and you can subvert that, gives you a little bit of an edge. Sorry, guys. I know that's tricky. I know I'm pulling into the deceivous little quiver there, but it's a move that I think

works. Dude, I could totally see a teacher just being like, and yeah, that's when they called me Frank. And then everyone's laughing. You're just like... I'm just stone-faced like, oh, you felt like you needed to make that joke to win the class? That's nice.

Why don't you get back into calculus? Yeah, he's like, can we get back to the work at hand? Yeah, that's what I do. I'm like, can we get back to a swim training? I'm not in the mood for jokes. Like, I'm a very serious student here to swim. Like, par, what I do. I'm like, can we get back to a swim training? I'm not in the mood for jokes. Like, I'm a very serious student here to swim. Like, part of you're failing. Right.

Right. All right. What's happening, Chad and JT? I just graduated college and feel under pressure because I have no jobs lined up. My dad is on my dick for getting a job and keeps cracking jokes that he's going to kick me out of the house, but not sure if he's serious. Do you have any advice to getting a job I like, or should I just play the free rent situation out until I absolutely need to get a job and keeps cracking jokes that he's going to kick me out of the house, but not sure if he's serious. Do you have any advice to getting a job I like, or should I just play the free rent situation out until I absolutely need to get a job? Thanks. And you guys have the best podcast by far. Chris Bigler. Uh, I try to get a job, you know, look for something that you,

you really want to do. It's like Warren Buffett says, if you had all the money in the world, what would you do? Go for that. Now that's easier said than done. But you want to get your life started. You don't want to prolong that. The other thing I would do is I'd be super chummy with your dad, laugh at all of his jokes, and make sure he's having a great time every time he's with you, And then he's never going to want you to leave. Like if you become

just your dad's bro and like, you really understand where he's coming from when he talks, then he's going to be like, wait, even though he doesn't have a job and he's kind of a dingus, I don't want to lose him. Cause he's kind of a great hang. Good point. So just be super fun, dude. Be like so fun that your dad's like, fuck, dude, I can't lose this guy. He's bringing too much to the table. Why are you so cool, son? Yeah, you're like, dude, I want to kick you out, but you're the fucking shit, dude. You're like, thanks, dad.

I'm sorry. I'm sort of a fucking waste, but what up, dude? Why don't we go do this fun thing? And your dad's like, I can't resist. I want to kick you out, but we're going go-karting. Wow. Wow. Oh, and guys, we want to have more guests on the

podcast to keep uh to keep it fresh and to keep mixing it up so if you guys have any uh recommendations for who you'd like to have on the pod obviously we're gonna have strider back on but anybody else you guys think might be a good fit for us and we you know we're really interested and I think adept at doing interviews. So we'd go wide ranging with it. Yeah, go big. We're talking major celebs. Can I say one person who's agreed? Yeah. Anastasia Ashley is down.

So whenever she's in SoCal, she said she'll roll through. So we're thinking that level, guys. Go big. Is that it? Guys, I think that's it. All right. Wow, my dogs. That'll be it for episode 20

of the Going Deep with Chad and JD podcast. Thank you guys so much. Don't forget to leave reviews. Hit us up on our Patreon for bonus content. And yeah, dudes, stay stoked. Keep writing in. Thank you so much