Going Deep with Chad and JT - Ep. 23 - Strider Returns, Important Sentences, Laird Hamilton, and Shift Manager Robert

Episode Date: June 20, 2018

Chad, JT and Strider dive deep in this episode.  Strider talks about the chillness of his shift manager Robert.  We dive into an article on what makes Laird Hamilton dank.  We discuss a woman's intuition and how they can tell whether or not a dude has boned.  We cite important sentences, movie quotes, legends, beefs, and babes. For bonus content, check out our Patreon:  www.patreon.com/chadgoesdeep

what's your team going deep chad and jt stokers what up guys this is chad coming in with episode 23 of going deep with chad and jt the podcast i'm here with my compadre jt what up what up dudes what up and uh today we are joined yet again by our dog fresh out of benihana heaven strider what up dudes what up pumped to be here right now dude going in for the night shift so just stoked to be here during the day spending it with my dogs nice thank you for taking the night shift to kick it with us and converse for sure dude yeah robert the shift manager owed me a favor because um i just stayed late and uh i skipped my 10 minute vape break to help uh you know unload some dishes after a birthday party so making sacrifices for the

greater good i dig it for sure dude robert it seems like your relation is uh chilled out a bit yeah dude he um you know he teaches me like uh he's pumped on my responsibilities he's pumped on like how i've taken ownership of um my actions and stuff and he's teaching me a lot so yeah i appreciate that dude yeah does he vape no dude he doesn't vape he um he smokes um marble reds dude he's got a i would probably say he's a pretty sad guy dude um i think he's been divorced a few times and uh yeah so he you know he um you know chemically doses uh like a lot of people do in society you know just trying to mask their problems and you know whatever substance it is which kind of sad but he's a chill dude you know dude honestly

man best medicine is a little laughter and uh just kicking it with your boys dude so maybe he just needs two bros for sure i'm just considering myself lucky to have two legit bros like you that i can bounce stuff off of all the time dude you know i'll do just wish i had more time dude busy decorating the apartment with my gf dude you know buying items that are you know probably like um you know independent companies or uh you know female run companies dude we want to really like to look to do um you know stuff like that if we can you know etsy style um purchases dude instead of you know aaron bros or the big companies how do you decipher like who's independently owned and who's owned by chicks my gf usually just tells me dude and uh she's like the leader and then i'll um from there i'll be like all right tie it dude you know

and if the craftsmanship's there i'm on board what if you want to bring some masculinity in there like you're like i want to bring harley davidson drapes in what would she say that she probably um she'd nix that that'd get nixed um real quick uh i remember you guys had those dank candles remember those like religious candles i put those on my desk area um my girlfriend has awarded me a uh a corner of the apartment that's pretty much my zone um where i thought i'd get more liberties but i don't but dude she's usually pretty right like i put up a sick poster of um uh the rock you remember that movie the rock dude nick cage and uh i put a poster of that that came down dude uh real quick

and got put up with a nice painting though though, dude. Pretty serene environment. So, yeah. It's hard for a painting to replace Nicolas Cage in, like, green poison balls, you know? Yeah, dude. On my darker days, I'd think I'm in a cage. But, you know what, dude? She's the best. She's my rock, dude.

She's my center. She's made me a better person. She's opened me up to parts of me that I didn't even know about dude so it's super chill to have that and you know even if that means you know having less liberties uh in decor it's wonderful beautiful it's it must be nice to have like someone in your life who um i can hook up with regularly. Yeah. It's tight. But what were you going to say, though? No, that's what I was going to say. Dude, see, we're on the same page, dude.

It's like I'm in my dog's dome. It's tough to get on. It's tough, dude. Being in a relationship, it's so much easier to be with your bros in your dome because it's like, what do we do? We wake up. We either shred or we hit the gym and tread. It's either liquid shred or Jim's red. Yeah.

And then you crush burritos. Probably Chad would just get, you know, egg whites and some zucchinis because he's no guard. You know me well. And then, you know, with your GF,

it's like, what are we doing? You know, like, yeah, you kind of learn to like stuff that you don't actually like. And it's interesting because you grow in the process of that. But it's something when you're with your boys, you never really have to kind of negotiate.

Because you're just like, oh, we just all like the same stuff and I get to do everything I like. But then when you get into a relationship, it's really like a social contract where you agree to like stuff you don't like. 100%, dude. But love is sacrifice dude right and in this in this when you're sacrificing you you grow because you're dedicated to a greater cause 100 which is her happiness absolutely dude so has she like does she have you eat carbs yeah dude she actually did a um and, dude, props to her. She did this 30-day challenge where it was like no added sugar, no boost because that's just sugar. I think we're going to touch on some of this in a little bit, you bro said.

But, like, she successfully did the challenge 30 days, dude, just crushing shrimps. She's vegetarian, so she had to up her protein, dude, not pressure. I'm like, dude, double down on those shrimps. And she did, but she was crushing, you know, bee sprouts, broccoli, dude, spinach, dude, and just straight up sweet potatoes, which is, if I'm not mistaken, one of my dog's favorite foods. I love them, yeah. They're so good for you, dude. Yeah. Some nights I'd hop on board with her, but I'd sneak out and get a second dinner, crush them in and out, go for a late night breakfast burrito, Benito's or something. What's running through your head when you're on these solo missions to get extra food?

Oh, dude, just don't get caught, dude. Honestly, she wouldn't get mad. She would get disappointed. And that hurts so much more, dude. Also, I don't want to be putting temptation in in front of her i want to do my part you know yeah who's better at um because you have a gentle stomach you know oh dude that was you put that so nicely dude like yeah my stomach is just it's a little i have a little bitch of a stomach dude like there's no question like bitch ass stomach yeah dude some foreign oils like yeah. Bitch-ass stomach? Yeah, dude. Some foreign oils.

Yeah, JT knows, dude. And if I get low blood sugar, I can get moody, dude. Yeah, I remember. Absolutely. Yeah, when we were working the stockroom at Nordstrom's, if you didn't get a quiche in you by lunch, it was like dealing with an angry stepdad or something like that. A hundred percent, dude.

Like Robert, if he doesn't get his freaking marble, you were just like, you're, you're like, you're not good enough. You don't get it. You're an idiot. I was like two hours ago, I was your boy. Dude. Honestly, when I'm saying that stuff to you, it's just, I'm picturing me talking to me in the mirror, dude.

You just happen to be what I'm projecting on. So my bad for that, dude. Also speaking of stock room, he used to do pallets of makeup, dude, like 1,000 units a morning. Yeah, because they come in little boxes, so it's a lot to kind of break down and take inventory of. And he would take great pride in his work, rightfully so. And he would page me in the store and be like, dude, you got to come over and just look at my stuff. I'd be like, all right, dude. my stuff like all right dude i didn't instinctively like shelving makeup but i learned to take pride in the craft of organizing it correctly accurately and on time but i wanted other people to see it

yeah this is all foreign to me because i haven't really worked but um to hit to like see the passion that you guys had for you know turning into a craft i think is pretty dank i choose bronzing still bar none but um it's dank that you guys you know found that in your lives surfing is better than stocking makeup i would say objectively for sure but i try to think like there's no boring things dude that's what i love about my dogs like like even if you can't rage if you're like i'm stuck at benihana i'm stuck shelving you know eyelashes and shit you know you still find a way to rage in your own in your own pretty dank way, which it's all about being crafty and just adding yourself to that situation. 100%, dude. 100%.

What would you do if you found your GF crushing In-N-Out? Dude, if she was crushing In-N-Out solo mish, first I'd be like, what's going on, dude? Some sort of emotional thing? Yeah, exactly. Like, what's up, dude, if she was crushing in and out solo mish, first I'd be like, what's going on, dude? Like some sort of emotional thing. Yeah, exactly. Like, what's up, dude? But then if there wasn't and she was like, dude, I was just fucking jonesing for a freaking grilled cheese animal style. I'd be like, dude, it'd take a lot for me not start, you know, getting intimate in that moment, dude, you know? I'm pretty shy when it comes to getting intimate, dude.

You know, even though like. I've seen you having sex true it doesn't look shy but dude i mean no disrespect to you i understand like you're you're like you you might be feeling stuff that i'm not seeing but i when i when i caught you i didn't watch but when i caught you you looked like you were being your full self. Dude, that's maybe the best compliment I've ever been paid. Thank you so much, dude. Dude, I've told my dog, like, dude, I fucking wish, like, I loved, like, dudes so I could bone you. Like, it would just work, you know. Yeah.

That's, like, a gift in my opinion, dude. Yeah. But then again, dude, you know, I meet my GF. She's great. She's the closest to, like, being the own bro that I again dude you know i meet my gf she's great she's the closest to like being the own bro that i have you know um yeah dude so it's legit like that did you people define success in different ways you know yeah i think that for me like multitasking and having that um i would say base task be boning and like you know like boning and like scheduling a dental appointment like just being that chill or like you know boning and like

this might be weird but like you know maybe calling your mom like getting that out of the way for the day or like boning and like um while like sending emails or something like that'd be legit dude being able to maintain smart yeah it's like like send emails while boning yeah i think that's like the best thing you can probably do dude that's i think it's a full-on millennial move like you know you want to be producing content you want to be firing off emails you want to be communicating while boning you don't want to waste any time 100 dude dude one of the most prominent displays of alphaness that I've seen was with my boy E-Slam in college.

Junior, E-Slam Junior. E-Slam Junior. So this guy, he was just a plow machine, you know, just fucking. We called him Slam because that's what he would do. He would slam tush. For sure. and we called him slam because that's what he would do he would slam tush for sure um and uh he lived in our house and like we were all kicking it watching bad boys 2 oh so dank mid sesh he pulls out comes out uh dong hanging door open he's just like what's up dudes

all nice johnny tapia great movie dude gotta take that and do it dude there's that scene where when they kidnap uh martin lawrence's sister will smith's girlfriend gabrielle union and uh like martin lawrence is just like mother fucker they kidnapped her they got her in cuba so like we're not actually allowed to go over there and then will smith just walks in and he's like we ride together. We die together. So legit. A fun drinking game if you and your boys are looking for one besides Edward Fortyhands or Wizard Sticks is anytime they cue that song,

Shake your tail feather. Dude, in Bad Boys 2, you're going to be freaking toasted in that movie. I would say upwards of 23 times. Yeah. Nice. So maybe get a low alcohol content stuff. be freaking toasted in that movie i would say upwards of 23 times yeah nice so maybe you know get a low alcohol content stuff they don't want you guys to get you know too charred and toasted so i also don't want to sound like a bitch do what you want but you know what i mean second

michael bay movie ref of the pod gotta say boys i think we're underperforming in that department amen dude did you guys read this article about larry hamilton the uh famous uh surfing pioneer about how to live your life more effectively i did read it he's a beast dude the guy is just a machine dude yeah so basically the article just talks about how he at 54 has managed to remain ripped pumped and on top of his game and uh i was wondering if you guys think the uh the kind of like uh lifestyle choices that he extols are uh applicable to all other people i guess i think for sure i think he's just the solid definition of grip it and rip it you know and then in the article they're like he does the most unsurfing thing he created a brand and i'm like you know what dude he created a really super sick

brand i think everyone should strive to create a brand of themselves that is just sick as fuck you know what i mean yeah laird's a legit Yeah. And if you like creamer in your coffee, why not use Laird's, dude? You know? Your dollar's got to go somewhere, dude. I'd support, you know. I know Laird's putting it to good use by getting, you know, no carbs, you know, dank flank steaks, and just, you know, maybe like some new type of surfboard I don't even know about yet.

Go ahead. No, I was going gonna do what his 10 keys for life i was gonna list him for the the audience at home i won't fire him off because i was gonna comment on one on number one number three be a fat burning monster that's number three oh yeah i love i love this quote here my body runs off its body fat in In fact, I don't need to eat anything. My body runs off its body fat. That's because I'm paleo. Thank you, Laird.

Four. But don't be a zealot. What does that mean? It means don't be like a fanatic about what you believe in. Tight. Yeah. That's annoying, dude. Yeah. Five. Golf ball your bare feet i grew

up barefoot in hawaii and didn't give a thought to walking on gravel but people would have been in shoes their whole life couldn't even cross the driveway their feet are loaded with nerve endings and are the key to balance and i'm in the balance business in fact we all are i also believe the earth is charged with an electrical frequency that matches your nervous system and immune system. Bare feet allow us to absorb that energy. To restore dexterity and balance after I've been in shoes too long. To connect to the earth. That's what it's all about.

I agree with Larry, dude. You want to see the frailty of modern man? Watch him walk barefoot, dude. I mean, we're just like, dude, we're little bitches compared to other animals in nature. You know what I mean? Good call. Like, we got dank brains, but, we're little bitches compared to other animals in nature. You know what I mean? Good call. Like, we got dank brains, but not all of us have that dank of brains.

What animal on land can take out a grizzly bear? Dude, I don't know. None. They're as fast as a tiger and like four times as big. Exactly. It's so legit. And they eat dank food like fucking salmon, dude. I love salmon, dude.

Bed that shit in quinoa, bro. Honey and salmon. Like, that's a great diet. Yeah, and berries and berries and dude they care about their kids a lot like the only reason they'd want to fuck you up is like you just got in the way of me and my kid i can understand that dude quick for sure quick bear story this girl has friends with liana her mom went camping in wyoming a bear came upon her she played dead like you're supposed to it It smacked her around a little bit, and she had intense cuts and had to get stitches, some in her head, pretty scary stuff.

But she survived, and she was okay. A couple years later, she moved on. She went camping again. Bear came upon her. She played dead, beat her around again. She had to get more stitches. She survived two bear attacks. So the question is, are you damn she survived two bear attacks so the question is

like are you lucky to survive two bear attacks or are you unlucky because you got attacked by bears twice she played dead yeah dude it's in the eye of the beholder i see as a test from the universe it's like it's like can you handle the most ferocious predator we'll see and she did it this is why i'm not a proponent of camping dude um i like my creature comforts i like my wi-fi like having my gf around dude i like my good eats you know my sensitive tummy dude anything made in a campfire setting is not going to be dang for my stomach um yeah dude i mean there's just no way dude yeah i appreciate that you know yourself so well yeah that's and you know a lot of us don't dude you got to look inwards see what works for you see what doesn't dude that's why like dude

you know when they're like um this is totally taking a tangent here but like um how uh you know old men make wars and young men fight them yeah dude old men cannot fight wars dude like war is just camping with fucking people trying to shoot at you dude and that's just no good for me now that you say that maybe it was like a a message from the universe it's like stay the fuck out of the forest also this this might be insensitive um but maybe she was um in her cycle and bears smell that and could be threatened. I don't know. Number six, watch your back.

He's had back issues. Can't agree more, dude. Number seven, do the water workout from hell. He does like workouts in the pool. I'm not going to lie. At this point, the article got a little long for me. Pretty much the takeaway was like, dude, if you don't have Laird's personality, you're not going to be super legit like this dude. The guy's a freaking predator beast, dude.

I think there's a quote in there of my level of competition. Death is the only opponent that's good enough for me, which is why he does his big wave riding. He doesn't care about beating Kelly kelly slater or like any human dude he cares about like beating like fucking you know death like the reaper dude you're a genius yeah eight that's yeah get role models paul who's yeah dude paul walker joe rogan for my dog who's your role model um dude my gf uh she freaking honestly dude she works hard she eats right she's super chill so um i'm just though number nine be innovative in all aspects of your life is there any places in your guys's lives where you feel like you're not being innovative probably my pokey orders maybe i should branch out dude for sure i would say um

maybe in my deities like i was raised irish catholic so i pray to that one god but dude there's like a whole ton of like hindu gods you know vishnu and the such and it's like dude maybe look at deities like bros it's like dude ask for some help in as many ways as you can and maybe get it back you know what i mean why you gotta choose one yeah so maybe i gotta branch out in my prayer dang it's beautiful what about you dude i guess in the way i talk we all talk the way we talk but it's like maybe one day i want to be like a guy who talks in like a slow drawl and is very like careful with the words he chooses and maybe other days i want to be a guy who like talks fast and

is a little bit like vince vaughn you know or like another like you know just gifted raconteur but then some days maybe i should try not speaking at all dude it's very dank that you just said that because i watched a video on my phone talking about um how our uh vocabulary and language determines the way we think like innately and on a subconscious level like germans describe bridges the masculine the word for bridge in German is a masculine word. The word for bridge in Spanish is a feminine word. So Germans, you'll find them describing bridges as like strong and sturdy. And then Spanish people will describe a bridge as beautiful or lovely.

And it's like, dude, you don't even know you're doing that. It changes the way you think about those kind of things. And then if you have feelings but you don't have the words or the language to kind of categorize what it is your or maybe not necessarily categorize but to identify what it is you're feeling then you don't know how to process it and then it's just like this amorphous energy that can turn into something negative when it didn't have to because we just haven't like taught ourselves well enough how to properly diagnose it and, and to diagnose it properly, we need its words. That's what we need. Absolutely. It's key. Like the feelings there,

but how do you communicate and relate that to your fellow bros? Cause like sometimes like, yeah, like the bros will be like, like we'll be watching MMA at my place and then like, it's only like 10 30 and then some ofos will be like like we'll be watching mma at my place and then like it's only like 10 30 and then some of the dudes are like all right i gotta bail and i'll have feelings of like like shame or like worried about being lonely or like worried people didn't have a good time or like worried like maybe worse that nobody even likes mma except for me and it's such a flood of emotion and then i don't have the sometimes i worry i'm like oh i don't know how to feel this do you i mean it's it's tough because dude like i've been over to watch mma with you at your crib and did you do

such a fucking dank setup of ordering good pizzas having craft brews for me and as well as bl smooths for the rest of the bros and honestly dude what it comes down to is just about kicking it like dude we could be watching you know whatever uh you know like figure skating nothing against that but it's not my first choice but like i don't understand ground game or technicality but dude the way you teach me about that more watching and stuff is freaking dope dude it's just sometimes i gotta bail early and you know get home with the gf spend a little time yeah i feel that with you too you know i want to love mma as much as you do i want to feel that passion but when i see these dudes getting their faces bashed in like i just think to myself if i ever had my face bashed in like i'd probably i don't know what i do because then i'd like lose me

you know what i mean yeah like dude when i when i watched too fast too furious and when paul and and tyrese in that first brawl, that whole time, you know, I was just like, just don't fuck up Paul's face. For sure. And Tyrese is, those are two hot dudes fighting, dude. Yeah. That's a tragedy if they freaking break a nose or, you know, bust a fucking cheekbone.

Yeah, and I'm just like, you guys need to like reconcile this in like a more diplomatic way. That's so interesting too that you guys like, they're like aesthetic because i guess like as an offshoot of my passion for fighting i'm like more in awe of dudes who have like a sturdy handsome brawler look like a jason statham yeah or jeffrey dean morgan yeah would you pay now this is maybe getting a little Roman,

but would we pay to watch these dudes maybe bone? Like, MMA fighters. Would you like to see Chuck Liddell bone? No. Sorry. You wouldn't be interested in that? No. I'd rather watch porn stars bone.

But, dude, think about the ferocity. Yeah, but, you know actually some mma fighters have gone into porn and i think they're just not as good as the it's a different but they let out skills but they let out like such a like dank authentic roar yeah like maybe an mma fighter trying to go into porn is like an athlete trying to do like rapping or acting like it doesn't always work exactly like you feel like it's gonna overlap because there's like performance components to both and they're both visceral and physical but to be good at porn is a very true unique i am i am selling my male porn stars a little short here

which i shouldn't be because they're long but dude i look at like i look at like ufc fighters as like they're long but dude i look at like i look at like ufc fighters as like ufc fighters transferring to porn as like mark walbert going from rapping to acting natural transition but that's that's mark walbert he's true he's a uniquely talented guy yeah most people it's like like... Eminem was great in 8 Mile. He's a good actor. Will Smith, I mean, Will Smith, actor doing rap, but is that rap like... I mean, he's got some bangers that I enjoy. Yeah, all these guys are good.

Is it good? No, all these guys are good. Is the song Switch? Maybe Athlete's China Rap is a little more of a stretch. Like Shaq, I love Shaq, but... Yeah, yeah. Or Kobe had a rap right yeah yeah yeah number 10 from Laird make it fun well all right what about uh the world cup are you guys

jacked for the world cup stoked dude so stoked I'm trying to be no I'll try to watch soccer and then I just go straight to the Bali comp again. Replays, I can't. I'm trying, dudes. I'm trying. What country do you least? This is a negative direction to go. I'm sorry.

Maybe we can talk about it in a positive way, but, like, what country do you least want to win the World Cup? I'm going to go with Brazil because because but they have so many hot chicks they do dude carnival granted granted granted that and trust me dudes i took that into full consideration like but they're just dominating the world surf league right now and i'm like you guys are winning too much if you win the world World Cup too, I'm going to be pissed. For teams that I want to lose in the World Cup, I'd have to go with probably Spain, dude, because they, like, fired their coach because he took a job. And it's like, dude, why are you freaking beefing on him because he, like, took a job that's not directly related to the team?

It's like, dude, let people have freedom of choice and, like, do something that's good for them. So that's whack dude for me i'm gonna go with russia bring it back to like the 80s cold war i don't think they've got a chance of winning though dude yeah they won five zero today in their first game but they played the weakest squad oh they did saudi arabia is the weakest saudi arabia is one of the weaker squads um in other news jada pink Pinkett Smith, Will Smith's wife, she said she realized her son Jaden lost his virginity

because he had a certain swag about him. He came home different one night, and she recognized it. Mother's intuition. My little boy was gone, she said on NBC's Megyn Kelly Today. Oh, she talked about it on TV. You know what they probably omitted from that for like censorship purposes like my little boy's gone his dong hung when that kid was a virgin like he probably had the most swag of any kid i've ever seen i remember like he did like a grammy performance and like he he popped out from like the ground of the stage and was like yo yo yo it's me y'all and i was like who is this kid dude like how are

we supposed to know him he was a probably a guaranteed virgin at that time and so imagining what his swag was like post boning it's got to be up there with like leo's swag um all time like i don't know who else has got great swag dude mcconaughey mcconaughey for sure dude tom cruise oh 100 women can sense it when a guy loses his virginity we were gonna go on a trip one time and our buddy came over and like to us we were like oh same old andrew and then our friend cheyenne who was a girl came over and right when she walked in she looked at andrew and she's like you're different and we were like what are you talking about it looks the same and she was like you had sex last night and andrew was like no i didn't we're like no we didn't like get out of here and then like six hours later

andrew was like i had sex last night were like, how did Cheyenne know? And she just instinctively, she could, and you know, I heard Tim Kennedy on Joe Rogan podcast say that the best way to identify what's different is to put it around a bunch of things that are the same. Andrew was being flanked by four virgins at the time. For sure. So when she saw him in the middle of us, she was like, all right, well, those are all the same.

And this one's different. Yeah, we were definitely the control in that experiment, dude. I was a virgin for a long time, dude. Yeah, dude, me longer, dude. And then I met my GF, and I was like, dude, I told myself in my head, first girl that has repeat sex with me, I'm going to lock it down, dude. I'm not going to let that get away. And so I didn't, and luckily, she frigging liked me, dude. So the rest is history.

She loves you. That always scares me about women's intuition because I'm like, what are they reading in me that I can't see? What are the limits of it? Yeah. Or how limitless is it? Yeah. It's like, what do you know?

Like, do you know that I didn't land that floater today i don't maybe she can sense like she can definitely sense the effect of you not landing that floater you can't not land floaters that's true i remember one time i you were at this party like my friend's cousin wanted to bone me dude and I wasn't ready to bone I remember telling JT

I'm like dude I don't want to bone this girl like I'm a little bit afraid I don't know what to do like she's out of my league she's regressive so what I did is I just dude I played dead

and she just slapped me around a little bit and you know if you don't want to get laid you gotta use the bear approach is what i'm saying dude act asleep yep because sometimes you can be horny as a grizzly dude looking for a salmon

and what you gotta do just if you're a dude act asleep hibernate yeah exactly yeah i remember that it's a good move too i think you made a wise choice agreed absolutely all right let's get into our uh into our segment chad who is your baby of the week my baby of the week is uh sarah what up sarah um sarah she was a senior i was a sophomore and um she was like one of the mega babes in school people in school knew sarah and she had this kind of untouchable vibe about her that was just like whoa like you'd see her be like wow like like which lucky dude is going to be able to like connect and so like i always thought like just like even connecting with her was out of the realm of possibilities for me little did i know what the universe had in store for me is they put

me in sex ed and not only that she was my ta so i was like whoa i get this super hot chick is going to teach me about boning sign me up and we really connected and like i would just really toy with her you know i'd they'd be like they'd be like okay and what is this called and i'd be like, they'd be like, okay, and what is this called? And I'd be like, boner, right, Sarah? And she'd be like, you're silly, Chad. And I'm like, thank you. So like, we just really connected on that level. Cause like, we both loved like toilet humor and like, we just love to like laugh at just like dongs and stuff. And like, you know, I'd be like, you know, I'd just play around with her. I'd be like, yeah, these, these are condoms. Right. And she'd be like you know I'd just play around with her I'd be like yeah these these are condoms right and she'd be like yeah it was just super intimate almost at a tantric level I think yeah definitely um and so Sarah just thank you so much for that connection like um and just thank you for being so wise and just so hot um and just like thank you sarah dude um never mind like my sex ed teacher

was this uh was mr lincoln the principal on hot um but uh one kid raised his hand freaking virgin dude was like does ejaculating feel good and then uh mr lincoln like kind of broke character and like entered this tone he was like some people say it's the best feeling on earth and dude that like that was in fifth grade dude and that stuck with me dude honestly that kid was me that raised his hand that was you yeah you destroyed her you. I was just curious. My baby of the week is Joan Didion, the American journalist. Truly brilliant. And yeah, I just wanted to read some of her quotes

so the stokers can get into her. We tell ourselves stories in order to live. Bang. Writers are always selling somebody out. I think that's the thing that's lost, is that when you tell stories about people, you're kind of objectifying them because you're using their story as fodder for your art.

And that's something that gets lost in the process, but she was keenly aware of that. And I think that's something we should all stay in touch with when we talk about others or put them in stuff. For sure. Maintain their integrity and your truth. Difficult balance artistry. And then I just wanted to read this long ass motherfucking quote from her essay, her seminal essay, New York Sentimental Journeys.

Stories in which terrible crimes are inflicted on innocent victims, offering as they do a similarly sentimental reading of class differences and human suffering, a reading that promises both resolution and retribution, have long performed as the city's endorphins, a built-in source of natural morphine working to blur the edges of real and, to a great extent, insoluble problems. What is singular about New York and remains virtually incomprehensible to people who live in less rigidly organized parts of the country is the minimal level of comfort and opportunity its citizens have come to accept. The romantic capitalist pursuit of privacy and security and individual freedom, so taken for granted nationally, plays locally not much role. It keeps going, but dude.

Yeah. She's smart. Yeah, that's legit. You also read well out loud. Oh, really? Yeah really yeah dude i got embarrassed so i stopped reading no you're killing it and you kept a nice pace like i'd popcorn you all day long popcorn for sure um dude what in your opinion um makes up a good sentence me i was i was always the king of like the run-on sentence you you know, like just thoughts like blah, blah, blah.

Well, yeah, if you're an author, I mean, I think it can work if it's long. It can work if it's short. It's really just about having your own style that rewires my brain. Like the best authors after you read them, you think like them, you know? 100%.

I'll pick up my girlfriend's Cosmo every once in a while and I'll think in quizzes, you know? What's the most, let's do an exercise. What's the most impactful sentence we think we can come up with with just five words? Do you guys all want to try? For sure. Maybe use your phone so you can write it. Impactful?

Yeah, like what's the most like meaning dense sentence you can do in five words you guys ready yeah strider you want to start it off yeah plagiarized though my way or the highway it's five words batman begins and i remember what alfred says to christian bale it's always your way or the highway psych dude that's actually from the It's five words. Batman Begins. And I remember when Alfred says to Christian Bale, it's always your way or the highway. It's like, dude, that's actually from the George Clooney one. It's from the George Clooney one, dude. And it's like, it's always your way or the highway.

It's six words. That's all good. I never said the word dude. Interpret it as you will. Because they're aware that they've never said it. They know it's out there, yet have they they chosen or has that been inflicted upon them um mine's gonna be from uh it's uh i own this fucking town which is a quote from uh johnny tapia bad boys 2 Just like a classic tale of hubris. That's legit. But you gotta say it like that.

I own this fucking town. You sound like an Asian lady when you say it too. Oh, really? Yeah. That's because I have a universal tone. For sure. Alright, Chad, who is your Beef of the Week? My Beef of the Week is with bumper stickers.

Great beef. Dude, a car is a car it's a piece of artwork it's a transportation vehicle it can be a way to burn rubber it can be a way to infiltrate a crew or just get you to where you need to go if you put bumper stickers on your car i'm to go ahead and say that you're trying too hard. Sorry if I'm getting aggro on this one, guys. I'm going to do the opposite of what this guy just told me to do because he's trying to put it in my face, you know? It's just really, and also you're just destroying the car. Especially like political ones, you're just like, dude, that bumper sticker's from like 2005. Like, could you imagine if, like, Paul Walker pulled up to the first race in Fast and the Furious with a Bob Dole sticker on his car?

They'd be like, dude, you can't even race. Get the fuck out of here. Go debate or whatever, you know? Guys with bumper stickers, think about what you're doing. For sure. bait or whatever you know guys with bumper stickers think about what you're doing for sure dude one of my least favorite bumper stickers has to be like and you know depending on what region you're from like it's like the dad sandals the mom sandals then like a little pair of pink sandals for the girl and like a blue sandals for the boy and it's like dude don't like let me know that you've got a solid family sitch going on and i'm sure if i took a deeper look like you know one of those sandals is probably pretty torn up dude because if you know arguments that you've got a solid family sitch going on. And I'm sure if I took a deeper look, like, you know, one of those sandals is probably pretty torn up, dude,

because of, you know, arguments that you guys get in. And, like, I'm sure one of those other sandals probably wants to walk away. Like, the blue sandals should be, like, on, like, way up on this windshield over here, like, on another car, you know? I get you're proud, dude. I like that, you know? But fuck you dude my beef of the week is uh with my own anger when uh and this is like a specific tale of it that I

still have like some uh some hard thoughts on when I was uh 18 I went to Costa Rica to teach English to, to some of the youth there. And, uh, my parents paid for it. And, uh, I went to Costa Rica and I was teaching kids, mostly kindergartners, and they were super sweet, but sometimes I'd have to teach junior high kids. And I was kind of like, uh, their sports coach too. So I'd, I'd get them to like play soccer with each other, like play dodgeball. But one time I went to a junior high, so it was like all these kids, 12 to 14. And it was me and my buddy. And we were both trying to coach them in like some, you know, some games and they were being really difficult and they were like arguing with us and making fun of us. And, um, and I was on like steroids at the time. So I was pretty jacked and they kept making fun of me for being jacked. They're like, Oh, Gordo. And like flexing in my

face. And I was like, Hey, stop, like, just get in like your guys' positions where I told you to be in. Let's play some dodge ball. And they were like, no, screw you. And they were all like running up and like grabbing at me and messing with me. And I started to get mad and I like threatened them. Like, I was like, stop, or I'm going to get pissed. And then that doesn't work with kids. They just see weakness when you do that. So then they got more wild. Like I was just giving them more reason and energy to be crazy. And so they kept messing with me and, and effing do that. So then they got more wild. Like I was just giving them more reason and energy to be crazy. And so they kept messing with me and, and effing with me. And then they started taking the balls and kind of like throwing them at me.

And instead of being mature and just like walking away, I started like throwing the balls back. And I was like, like trying to be stronger than like these 13 year old kids. And I was like, how can I met him? But again, like that, I thought I could just beat them by being stronger. Life doesn't work that way. And so they just started getting gnarlier and gnarlier. And then they were all pegging me with balls and they were all making fun of me.

And it finally got too much for me to handle. My feelings were so hurt that I grabbed one of the rubber balls that are pretty hard. I ran straight up to the main ringleader kid who was being mean. And when he wasn't looking, I cocked back and I fired the ball off his face from about two feet. And I really wrecked him. And he didn't like cry. He just went into a place of like frozen shock, like, like he didn't know what to do, but I could see, I really discombobulated him. And when I looked up the principal, the school was just staring at me with bewilderment, like, what is going on here?

And I was like, oh, my God, dude. You could have probably handled this situation better, par. Instead of teaching them English or teaching them, like, sports, I was fighting with them physically. And I hope that kid, his face is all right. He seemed all right. But, you know. You stung him. Yeah, I mean, I fucking ran straight up.

And after I threw the ball at his face, I was like, ah! Ah! Like, jacked. Like, I was like, yes! I like that! And then I looked up and I saw the principal. And the principal was like, like, literally right after I threw the ball off the kid's face, I was like, yeah!

And then I looked up and this principal was just looking at me like, not even gonna fire me he's like dude what the fuck are you doing you're a teacher why are you jacked up after hurting a 13 year old kid and i was like because you wouldn't stop making fun of me for having big muscles and no one makes fun of me for working out i'm trying to be nice like when you're trying to be nice and people are just like making fun of you and you're like, dude, I'm sacrificing, like honor that. Like that's where I really, that's when my anger really does get the best of me when I'm being nice and I know I'm being nice. And then people don't treat that kindness as a choice.

They treat it as a weakness. That's when I start hurting kids. Dude, I could see the roided out version of you just beaming this kid in the head. Dude, when I ran at him, I was just like striding across the playground so i came up and like i didn't just like i didn't like chest pass it off his face like i reached back as far as my arm would go and with all the force i could generate i just unleashed a heavy heavy rubber ball straight off the meat of his face and dude it's funny too because the kids were throwing balls at us and then me and my buddy who were teaching like we were back to back just hurling rubber balls at 13 and 14 year old kids

like whenever i'd be like reload me he'd throw me a ball. We thought we were literally trying to survive. I mean, dude, you did teach that kid a lesson. So you can't knock you as a teacher for that day. All right, Chad. Who is your legend of the week? My legend of the week is my boy Nick M. When I think of this dude, I think of one word, funk. We were acquaintances for the first two years of college and then we junior year like we moved into the same house

literally lived like next to each other and like we partied together one night and we're just like yeah this is it you're my best friend yeah there's one night we we had like a player haters ball no chicks we weren't being disrespectful we were just doing a full-on player haters ball and just like hating on each other just full-on fully in character it was like the best night ever we had another night we were like again this guy was just in the he's just in the funk you know we had like a roller skating night roller skating party and like he and i we just roller skated to this bar and we were like we got in on roller skates so we were just tearing up the dance floor on skates and if you really want to like make an impression at a bar wear roller skates like why would you not have wheels on your feet you know and we also

just shared in our love of just like uh butts we had a lot of deep discussions about that and um he loves his family you go hang out with his family they're all good vibes you know they welcome you in and uh you're my legend dude shout out legend nice dude my legend of the week is herb wesson from the la Council. He's the head of the council. During some of Chad and I's speeches, you can hear him call us Bell and Ted. And after our last speech at the city council, Herb's aides found us afterwards. We're like, hey, can you come back? Herb wants to meet you.

And we're like, what? And so we go in the back and then Herb comes in, dude. So much charisma. And just basically goes, basically goes hey what's up motherfuckers i mean he didn't say that but that was like the kind of like energy he gave it felt like we knew him for 10 years he just chopped it up with us he was three feet tall he had blue suede shoes and he had enough energy and good vibes to fill an amphitheater and i was like dude this guy is the dude a lot of us are cynical about politics and i get it there's a lot of bad shit happening out there but there is good people in this fight

herb you're one of those people you're my legend of the week dude shout out to herb man he is such a legend like i i felt that meeting i left that meeting feeling so good it was contagious um strider who is your legend of the week? My legend of the week's got to be my GF, dude. Honestly, the other night, dude, she made these freaking vegan brownies, and she did not have to do that, dude. And so she's just really making me want to step up my game and give her a treat.

My life partner and my rock, so stoked on that. Nice. Beautiful, dude. All right right let's get into some questions hey dudes danny here let me get right to it i have i was having intercourse with this babe and she puked all over my wetsuit i'm pissed what do i do it's a tough sitch because like that's like that's like a tool for your life she threw up which means she wasn't feeling well which means she had sex with this dude when she wasn't feeling well she's a fucking soldier for sure that's a ride or die girl yeah dude like if i'm if i'm having flu-like symptoms i'm not looking to bone dude dude. Maybe I'll J-O. That's jack off, because I like to get my nut. Hey, it's me, Ron. So my teacher has been giving me major signs,

sporting massive toe, keeps failing me because she's nagging me, and even gave me detention. I know underneath these apparently negative moves, she really likes me. I think she wants me. She wants Ron. How do I proceed without getting friend-zoned? Dude, can I take this one right off the spot? Yeah. First of all, Ron, I'd say tone it down on your overall self-love.

Dude, you cannot be referring to yourself in the third person. Sounds like you've got some for sure hubris going on. Dude, and nothing against you, bro, but I'd probably say your teacher is not into you, dude. And I know when chicks are not into me because it's a lot of chicks besides my GF who I love. And just try to be a good dude and find a chick who's like,

and she's not failing you. You're failing you, dude. She just creating assignments and grading them. You're the one who's putting forth the effort. I put forth a little effort trying to get to know who she is and trying to get to know who you are, dude.

Hey, Stoke masters, you guys rock savage life writing in. Cause I have a major problem with my dong. For some reason, the slush doesn't ooze out when I'm getting down with the ladies. I mean, it's a gift, but also a curse. Gift because I can clean the pipes for hours.

Curse because I get tired after a while and some girls just can't hang. Not sure how to get over this. I have a girlfriend now and she's a major babe. Super freak. Always on full swole when she's around. But I'm still having the same problem. The first time we kicked the sheet, she was killer whale spouting. But I just couldn't splash the slush. any advice to get over this is greatly appreciated you guys are frequent

sweet and legends in my book rodimus rex dude rod um first off i love the terms you're using for boning i haven't heard those before like excellent jargon yeah slushing and cleaning pipe. If I may, I might want to go and try and diagnose the problem at hand. Maybe you're jacking off and watching too much porn. Yeah, that could definitely be it. For sure, dude. Dude, the way I look at it is like you're an explorer. If your girlfriend's freaky and you guys have an open relationship, explore all of that stuff.

Be open-minded about it and don't judge yourself for however it happens you're gonna feel really good afterwards for sure dude somewhat your statement made me jealous a little bit but uh you know that's a good point it's a good problem to have yeah yeah i was like where's the problem reading that thing dude but you know ahmed how goes it bro sis i'm? I'm kind of in a sitch. You see, me and my main dog, MJG, work together. And while the job is solid, it's an awesome job. And I can't help but see all the heavy, chunky monkeys and beefnecks that work there

and worry that this job will do a number on my Shakira-toned hips. I try to get a good amount of protein in my diet and stay away from all those bastard carbs, but it can be a challenge. Any tips to keep me from turning into a Ralph Notto potato? Thanks in advance for the rad vice. Love the pod, and my dog and I love listening to you stoke shows every week. I mean, I worked at Benihana, dude. They've got such dank teriyaki steak and fried rice, dude.

It's like I could crush that for days, bro. Luckily, I've got a little bit of a sensitive tummy, so I can't do it, you know? Yeah. Do you have the power of forward thinking? Think about how, think about how these foods will affect you. You know, I think like if I see a milkshake, I know I'm going to be farty and bloated after, which is why I try to stay away, but sometimes I'll give in last night i gave in shake shack what up but just think about what's gonna happen to your bod you took the cutest nap after you finished that chocolate shake too thanks it put him to sleep that's so cute dude dude the other thing i think you can do is like you're already kind of doing it is like just

fixate on the people that you don't want to look like and see what their patterns are and then it will kind of turn you off to do the same stuff like you'd be like oh beef neck's going to get like another like powdered donut you're like all right well i don't want to be like beef neck so i'm gonna fucking abstain and it's not judgment you know because you're not letting anybody else know about it's just internal discipline all right here's the next one hey guys love the pod i just had a pretty scrumptious sandwich and was wondering what your favorite food is. Dude, fire question. Love it, dude.

How do you pick? Dude, I just love sandwiches. I could eat sandwiches for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, dude. I'm a big proponent of J. Mike's, dude. Straight up number seven turkey, dude. Mike's Way, so dank. A good cheesesteak just with some turkey, dude. Mike's Way, so dank. A good cheesesteak just with some chips, dude. I'm going to go with a salmon poke bowl.

New York strip steak. Respect. With a loaded baked potato. Respect. Maybe a chopped salad to start dude i i think maybe a um maybe a salmon filet a salmon filet cedar plank salmon with sauteed spinach lemon juice on top of the salmon and asparagus that sounds so just fucking dang chad jt you won't believe what these two chicks at a party did to me. So I was house-sitting my dog's house, shout out C-baby,

when I decided to put back a lot more liquor than I should have consumed that night. I don't know about you guys, but liquor makes me super horny. Anyways, I drive to this chick's house, which is already a bad move. Oh yeah, because you're drunk. Come on, dog. And she gets into my car with her friend. Whoa, two chicks and one me, baby. Sounds great, right? It wasn't, though, since the second chick who got in the car

was easily over 225 pounds. So I kicked her out of the car and my original babe starts giving me top. Dude, I don't... How did you kick her out of the car? Yeah, did you kick someone out of the car yeah did you kick someone out of the car it's a disrespect move yeah so here's the rest

so I kick her out of the car and my original babe starts giving me top I'm about half way through and she says she has to go and sends the big girl in to finish me off I was bamboozled and I thought it was rude if I said no so I just let her finish me off one good thing that came out of this I thought it was rude if I said no so I just let her finish me off. One good thing that came out of this

is that I was tag teamed by two chicks and I learned that fat girls really do give good head. It's not just a myth. What do I do? Do I keep this a secret

or do I tell the boys in hopes that they get stoked for me? I'm kind of in shame for... Yeah, dude. I feel bad for the girl. I feel bad for the girls. I feel like this dude maybe made... I hope like this dude maybe made

I hope that this guy made this story up trying to be chill it's sad it's not even chill it's just more it's a sad story yeah

there's a lot of stuff going on in here that does not seem like it's good for people's self-esteem like I just think about the girl being kicked out of the car

and then feeling like all right well he'll like me if i blow him it's it's just like she's better than that all people are better than that you know what i mean they shouldn't be kicked out of situations because they don't offer sexual gratification and they shouldn't be let back in because they're willing to do things to satisfy other people it's just a yeah kind of sounds like a dude who like you know you'd hate to be uh have to work for it just like a um very egotistical uh power hungry dude like you know try to find something that um you know will enrich you spiritually rather than uh you know than seeking these pleasures of the flesh and trying to dominate other people. Dude, I think, I don't know, dude.

Yeah, I wouldn't want you to date my fat daughter. Never, dude. Dude, should we do our movie quote of the week? Let's do it, dude. For sure. All right, I'll go first. My movie quote of the week is from the movie Independence Day. Oh.

Will Smith and Vivica Fox are together in it, and they're out on the front yard, and he's kind of messing with her, and she looks at him and she goes, you know, you're not as charming as you think you are. But then he looks at her with dead serious eyes, and he goes, yes, I am. To me, that's where all the money is made at the table.

It's when someone forces you to double down on what they think is a weak hand and you say, no, actually I got pocket aces. And that's what Will did in that moment. Because I think a lot of times like if a girl was like, oh, you think you're being charming? Oh, you think you're being funny? Your instinct is to get embarrassed and be like, oh yeah, I do think I'm funny and I do think I'm cool and maybe I'm not but Will Smith in that moment was just like yeah I am cool you make it true you make it true by believing in it that's good stuff that's strong

stuff um that quote is from old school classic movie yeah will ferrell luke wilson vince vaughn there's a part where will ferrell emerges with his sex doll and luke wilson's love interest goes hey frank it's a nice doll you got there and he goes a nice doll you got there and he goes oh yeah thanks she's okay and i think that's the ultimate display of humility you know you don't want to you don't want to flex too hard on other people even if you've got solid gold be you exist and the flex will come forward 100 percent um my movie quote is um from con air it's a sequence of quotes it's um you know casey poe saying uh my daddy comes home on july 14th i can't wait for july 14th and then uh cam Poe says, we'll break out the fine china because this cowboy is coming home, coming home for good. And I just think like it's kind of, you know, July is right around the corner.

And just how Cameron Poe is a family man. And also one of my dankest quotes is when Cameron Poe says to, why am I blanking on Malkovich's? Psy. Psy, yeah, Cyrus the Virus. when he's like joe barbecue cyrus and it smells good guys i think we landed this thing safely that was fun that was tremendous strider you're a beast always good to hang dude you guys are beasts dude appreciate so stoked to be in here hanging with my dogs just wish we could be you know crushing some briskies together. But I got work and got to go do that. You guys are busy, dude, probably gearing up for your next meeting.

Yeah, I got to finish this motivator. Yeah, and Strider, actually, maybe we'll both step out for a second. Would you like to do another soliloquy to the fans about life? For sure, dude. Where it's just you and then just signal to us and we'll do our sign-off. Absolutely, dude. As my brothers step out of the room right now kind of got a one-on-one with the um audience here so dude you know being me dude i'm just a regular dude got a gf dude um just know you're all worth

being loved dude and we accept the love we. And sometimes we feel like we don't deserve that much, but you do, dude. And honestly, we got negative on a lot of those questions today because I don't know, maybe you dudes were trying to be silly, trying to be humorous. I'm hoping that's it, dude. You know, I want to come from this from a positive angle, but dude, be conscious of others' feelings in all that you do. Like when my GF puts me in my corner in the apartment with my desk, she's conscious that I need my man's own dude. And we're doing it, dude. We're crushing life together. And, um, although the rest of the apartments is her zone, um, that makes me happy

to see that she's being happy, dude. So, um, try to bring positive, solid energy to others situations in life. And trust me, dude, it's going to come back to you tenfold, dude. Um, because it's going to make you feel right. It's going to make you feel tight. It's going to make you feel dank all fucking night, dude. Um, although tonight, you know, I'll be crushing the night shift pretty late. So I'm going to feel that tank, but dude, staying positive, staying enthusiastic. Hope you dudes do it too. And, um, for sure. I'm about to go crush a cold brew, getting ready for tonight. All right, dudes. Looks like Chad and JT are coming back in. My dogs.

All right, guys. All right, dudes, that will be it for episode 23. 23 of the Go Deep with Chad and JT podcast. Dudes, thank you guys so much for writing in. Thank of the Going Deep with Chad and JT podcast. Dudes, thank you guys so much for writing in. Thank you for listening. Thank you for just being the best Stokers out there. Stay stoked, guys. Check out our Patreon for bonus content. Patreon.com slash ChadGoesDeep.

I want to give a huge thank you to Strider for stopping in. Thank you, dude. Thank you, dude. Thank you, Strider. Boom clap. Yeah. Jabow, Stokers. Keep running. Yeah. Jabow, Stokers. I'll keep running.

Later.