Going Deep with Chad and JT - EP 230 - Chad and JT

Episode Date: March 16, 2022

Stokers! It's Chad and JT this week! We talk going to see Bieber and other subjects.    Get 20% Off and Free Shipping with the code [GODEEP] at Manscaped.com. That’s 20% off with free shipping at manscaped.com, and use code [GODEEP].       Join Talkspace today, and start the journey to happier, healthier relationships. Just visit talkspace.com and get $100 off your first month when you use promo code godeep at sign-up   Sign up at Coinbase.com/GODEEP for $10 in free Bitcoin

If you need advice, these guys are really nice. You wanna know what to do and where to go. When you need someone to guide you, just a half-hearted side you. Go and see. Go and see. What's up, Stokers? Before I begin this podcast, I want to let you know that we have a Patreon up. If you want bonus episodes of the podcast, me and JT, we're bringing it back old school, having fun, keeping it goofy. Bonus episodes each week.

Three different tiers you can sign up for. If you want to be a patron, go to patreon.com slash chadgoesdeep to sign up. We also have tour dates coming up. We're going to be in Ontario, California soon. We're coming to Texas soon, Washington, D.C., Michigan, and more dates coming up. Check out tour dates for ticket links at chadgoesdeep.com. We're also brought to you by the legends at Manscaped.

Manscaped, thank you so much for keeping our trims p for looking after our hogs for making sure that our dinks are looking fresh and clean because spring is sprung and our friends at manscape have the best tools for some spring cleaning in your pants trust me your confidence will be blooming like the flowers this upcoming spring trying time to clear out that winter bush and join the other four million men worldwide who trust manscape use code go deep to get 20 off plus free shipping at manscape.com i can be aaron's gentleman give aaron everything he wants if i was aaron's boyfriend i never let him go never let him if i was your boyfriend i never let you go. Never let him. If I was your boyfriend, I'd never let you go.

I'd be over there taking places you never want to go. Oi, you ain't never been before. I do. Taking places you ain't never want to go. Yeah. I believe it. Sorry. That's good.

Throw down the Bieber beats and put whipped cream in my ass what's up stokers of stoke nation this is chad kroger coming in with the going deep chat and jt podcast i'm here with my compadre jean thomas what up boom clap stokers and we're here with aaron on the sticks what up the producer aaron the producer i'm watching the kanye doc and uh like aaron's aaron's on the beats right now aaron you want to be a rapper but you're a producer okay yeah i don't have good flow i think you have good flow i think you got in you yeah i think you could be a world-class rapper yeah uh what's up just chilling dog nice i like your jean and shirt combo oh thank you dude dude when i saw that i was like i was like i think i need like i think i need a pair of jeans

although i've been getting jeans you know for the past few years and i always have that moment where i'm like i need new jeans but then i never wear them but i see in jeans that inspire me dude i don't even think i've noticed but yeah you haven't worn jeans in forever yeah i know i buy them once a year probably i buy the same ones every time wait once a year what what you have one pair at all times no i've just stocked up every year and they're just in my closet yeah i never get rid of jeans yeah i never wash them either i leave the day on them yeah i sleep in my jeans yeah i never get rid of jeans yeah i never wash them either i leave the day on them yeah i sleep in my jeans yeah you sleep on your couch i sleep on my couch in my jeans almost every night when was the last time you slept in your bed

like three or four months ago really wow that's cool the couch is my bed yeah it's an itinerant lifestyle yeah i don't want to when i get into the bed everything feels so final honestly i think That's cool. The couch is my bed. Yeah. It's an itinerant lifestyle. Yeah. I don't want to, when I get into the bed, everything feels so final. Honestly, I think it's just a fear of death. Yeah. I thought you were over that. I am. But at night, it creeps back in.

Dude, I saw something creepy that, you know, Joey King, the actress? Mm-hmm. On The Conjuring. She was in The Conjuring. She was like 12 years old and and um during the filming like there was like weird things were happening to the cast members like um i always forget her name with the one actress who's um in the departed yeah she started getting scratches on her body randomly and joey king started getting bruises all over her body randomly and the makeup people started getting bruises all over her body randomly and the makeup people thought it was like part of her like she was playing a joke on them so

they're trying to rub it off like rubbing alcohol but they're like real bruises and she developed this like blood issue where she had like no iron in her blood so she's at risk of like internal bleeding and stuff so she had all these random bruises on her body meanwhile her character like gets bruises on her body at night from the demon and then when they stopped so she had to take iron supplements and go almost needed a blood transfusion and then when they stopped filming that whole issue just went away wow maybe she's just part banana dude good call right you know what i thought she might just be like a really good actress dude like she commits so deeply to the part that her like method her body will commit to the part like she'll convince herself she's that person yeah and her body will

become that thing dude that's possible yeah she might just be a fucking great actress. Imagine Daniel Day in a horror movie. Yeah, how do you do method if you're playing a supernatural creature? Dude, yeah. Daniel Day, if he's possessed. You're like, dude, we're in between takes. You don't have to be possessed anymore. Where's the food? Where's Daniel Day?

And he's like on the ceiling. I am the food like where's daniel day and he's like on the ceiling i am the food he turns his head in the 360 you're like dude you're at lunch he just keeps popping out of doors too abruptly yeah he was like jesus christ man he's like ah just running down the hallway just doing jump scares on speaking in tongues oh oh oh daniel day stop eating my crew shadow the vampire yeah do you think if he murdered someone on set of a horror movie he could get away with like a crime of passion like use some character the judge be like i get it i think it depends on how good the performance is yeah it had to be like an la judge too and he'd have to crush it in that movie yeah for sure an la judge yeah like wow you're really committed

that was a beautiful yeah he gives him the oscar at the the verdict yeah he's like i sentence you to your fourth best actor win yeah clap it up people and then he walks up there and he expects it and the key to the city it was an honor to perform in this film i was very motivated to really do it right and so i appreciate the academy recognizing my murder of the pa as part of that performance it was very important for me to get into character and I will always love that PA for dying and my hand to provide for this film thank you this goes to him dude I saw I saw the Batman oh you did mm-hmm yeah I see how's while I see it? How is it? It rips. Is it good? It's cool.

Yeah? Yeah. It's really cool. How do you think Robert Pattinson compares to other Batman? I'd like to see a timetable on it. I think of all the Batmans I've seen, I think he was Bruce Wayne the least. Like, I think he was behind the mask the most. Right.

And so, it wasn't a ton of performance. Like, he's pretty still the entire time. But he was good. Yeah. He was good. Yeah. He was compelling. And, you know, he plays like a very like emo and like kind of petulant Bruce. Like he's kind of. That makes sense for him. Yeah.

He's kind of rude to Alfred, like always kind of pushing him away. Yeah. Even though they like are really close. And then he's kind of the same way with Zoe Kravitz. Yeah. He kind of like gets mad at her when he thinks she's like boning other dudes even though they like barely know each other very small little lines but he's like he's like how do you know falcone and she's like i work for him he's like i swear to god he goes he's like i bet you do really he says stuff like that

let me see your text messages he's like turn your phone to the surveillance camera now scroll through slowly and dude that's the thing after you see it too you cannot stop doing the batman voice you just get up and you're like everybody move i need to get out of the theater and pee give me your phone she gives him this phone and she like disappears she's like damn it he's just like on top of a building scrolling just in pain oh god oh i knew she was texting him you lied to me but it's it's really good it's beautiful it's the story's awesome the riddler's really good and dude colin farrell is the penguin murders it really i don't know if it's his voice is really good it's like i think the best voice work he's ever done but he's wearing

all these prosthetics yeah but it looks good like yeah you've never seen him like that before it's really cool that's cool i always love to see colin farrell do well it's cool and it's pretty topical as well like by the end of it it gets a little too symbolic and and easily represented like social issues like kind of q anon-y like they're kind of critiquing like q anon people yeah a little bit yeah um which was cool because it you know it made it like urgent i guess but also i started they just tacked on a lot at the end and it kind of i thought took away from what was like a really cool basic lean story yeah but it's good dude it's really good and it has it kind of has like a lord of the rings ending where it keeps going on for like 20 minutes but dude what probably my favorite

movie i've seen this year it's fucking sick that's i might see it tonight and pattinson's all i just like pattinson he's a he's a cool guy yeah that'd be funny if it was like a super political batman you know and there's really no villain out there and like what are you fighting for universal health care dude honestly it kind of goes that direction really yeah not not that like policy yeah but like he's basically like yeah i don't want to spoil it but it kind of has that in there where he's like it's not about vengeance it's about being nice to people you're like what batman dude put on the mask and it is inspiring he's like we should all put on the mask

and volunteer at soup kitchens it's a good good message did you get your booster shot get the booster now get your booster that's the whole movie's him just flying around giving people the jab unsuspecting people they're like about to shoot and then covet hit and they're like we need to pivot on this story if it's about him he's like operation warp speed go quicker he turns the mask upside down wears it over his face this is how you wear a mask in gotham no one can recognize him still they're like we don't know who it is but they have both parts of his face that they could just smash together they still don't know it's bruce wayne i work out in the mask alfred did you get your vaccination?

Show me your card. Alfred, you can't come into the lair unless you show me your vaccination card. Oh, that's funny. Paul Dano's well cast too. Cause he plays kind of like a guy with like a school shooter vibe. I think it's the best he's ever been. Nice. That was really mean what I just said about Paul Dano.

I'm sorry, dude. Nah, dude, run with it. I don't mean to be good, but he's got, you know know he's got kind of like a squirrely energy to him and so he's like perfect as like the riddler yeah but it was dope and dude then more entertainment stuff thanks to you we saw bieber oh yeah different nights i went monday night you went tuesday night yeah yeah what'd you think about the beat you had an interesting thing that you said about the beats but go ahead uh i thought it was great i was blown away by it you know i was expecting a good uh performance and everything but i was blown away by his singing i mean he uh this is my first pop show that like show that i've been to that's like a full-on pop star

and uh i mean he sings everything live and it's like really sort of so close to the recorded songs you're like he's he's pretty undeniable his talent um uh but i always i was going into it i was sort of like because i'd seen video clips and and to me you know i guess because i'm used to more dancing the whole time i was i'd watch video clips i'd be like oh it seems kind of lazy up there but then listening to him sing i was like oh no it's just on this on this voice yeah yeah i think i thought the same thing when i was watching him dance it wasn't very like explosive yeah but it was like good moves like he has good rhythm but i wasn't like especially in a big like arena context i wasn't like, wow, that looks spectacular.

I was like, yeah, it's organized. Yeah. But I think you're right. It's because he's actually singing. So he can't be doing full NSYNC. Yeah. But you know, some of those, I couldn't help but think the entire time was like, watching the show, I was like, I feel like I'm at the mall right now.

You know? Makes sense. was like watching the show i was like i feel like i'm at the mall right now you know makes sense it's where they used to like 80s pop stars used to do like mall tours yeah there's something like tiffany or something like that yeah but it may have been just the person i was sitting next to not my girlfriend but just the other person had perfume that smelled like sephora so maybe it's just that 100 that was probably it yeah but i thought it was cool but it's funny when he comes out you know he does like two songs and he's like la what's going on he's like yo we are so divided right now. It's crazy. We're crazy. You said he sounded sad, right? Yeah. Well, after he sang Sorry, like everyone was dancing and he was singing Sorry.

And he was kind of just like kneeling doing it. I don't know if he did that at the show you were at, but he's kind of just like kneeling doing it. And like there's a camera on him. He's up on like the jumbotron or whatever, like the big led screen. And, and, and then this is like a closeup on his face.

And at the end, he just looked, he just looked like sad. I was like, whoa, I don't know. And he'd say certain things too. And he's like,

you know, when he's, he, he sort of got a little bit political. And at the end he was like, know he's like i know y'all came here to listen to me sing you don't want to hear me talk i get it you know and he's like i'm like man you really feel like a you know like a just like a product you know i don't know what do you think i didn't notice that he was sad until you mentioned it to me

yeah and then i was like i was like yeah he was sad yeah but i was hammered i was like like my memories of the night are it's all kind of like one fluid thing yeah you know like i don't even remember individual songs well i just remember i'd be dancing then i'd hear the next song and be like oh shit yeah i do remember boyfriend boyfriend clicked for me really hard boyfriend was sick but he did seem sad yeah and then hearing him say that like i know you guys don't want to hear me talk like he might just be really candid at this point yeah like he doesn't make it presentational it's like his first thought like right normally a presenter would probably be like hey what's up everybody look you know we're all one and just like own it yeah and then

justin bieber's like he was probably sad before and he's like i'm gonna take this sadness to 30,000 people yeah no but and also what also affected my perception was that you know i have a buddy who was going to like a new year's eve party that like he was giving a private performance at and i was like oh have you met him and he's like he's like yeah i met him and i was like i was like what's he like and he's like he's like he's sad bro like he hates being famous and i was like so that also affected the way i looked at it oh interesting yeah but yeah it was dude it was fucking fun though and the crowd was great yeah the people around me were awesome, being in an arena like that with so many people, it's crazy. It's a collective experience.

Collective effervescence. Yeah. It was like that. Yeah. Did you have crypto or? Crypto, yeah. AKA Staples. Sound kind of sucks there though, right?

I don't know. I don't have much to compare it to arena wise. Yeah. I used to go to the pond like the Honda Center in Orange County but other than that I've only the forum's good

the forum's got really good sound yeah you know shows I've seen at the forum have been good and then I've been to Madison Square Garden but I don't remember

for Kings of Leon yeah can't remember how good the sound was yeah I thought it was sick I think he's super talented I like him

yeah it was just fun just being he's super talented. I like him. Yeah, it was just fun just being there. I was like, this is crazy. Yeah, it is crazy. It is. Compared to what we do, I mean, he's like in an arena. He's just like, the amount of people that are there, you're like, look, this is nuts. He comes out on stage, what up, council? Yeah.

Yo, LA, what's going on? I can't help but laugh every time he talked la what's going on i mean it is shocking when you like first go to a concert and you realize musicians talk between songs and you see their real personality maybe like a little jesus-y yeah you get a lot of jesus vibes from musicians yeah i mean how could he not if you're doing shows like that i mean if you're doing a show like like 30 000 people and everyone's just like and and when you come out when you come out the screams are like deafening you know like like i get it it would happen to anyone i think yeah do you want to do a bunch of questions this set? Sure. Let's do it. Oh, but before, are you going to do your New Orleans trip and your Beefs, Babes, and Legends, or do you want to do it now? Yeah, I went to New Orleans.

It's sick, man. I don't have much to say. The lady met the fam? The lady lady met the fam she's so sweet they loved her um yeah she's just so sweet and i think i think um we had a lot of fun we hit bourbon street you know got a hurricane got i think we got went to lafitte's which is like the oldest bar in america got their purple drink my brother's like go get the purple drink i'm like is that what it's called and he's like yeah and i go i'm like hey can i have a kind of the purple he goes like yep uh got some beignets hung out with uh niece and nephew and it's you know it's interesting

hanging out with like my niece and nephew because especially with my brother mark because you know um when i would see i would see people with kids and they'd be like maybe like it's all about the kids like like i love them so much i'd sort of be like i don't get it you know because i'm like why like it seems like a pain in the ass just a hassle but then you see like your family with kids and they're so cute and then it just sort of clicks where you're like oh now i now i get it you know it's like it's like you see like a part of yourself, this young kid, and you're like, wow.

Even if it's my niece, so not my direct daughter, you're like, wow, I'd do anything for that kid, you know? But before that, I was like, this seems like a nuisance. I just didn't get it. I don't know. Same. Yeah, you had the same thing till it till yeah till i had till he had one yeah and then it just completely changes yeah yeah i'm just yeah i would

just be like i i would see i'd be like why would anyone do that but that like that's literally what i thought i'm like it looks horrible like your disneyland trips are ruined you have to go on like it's a small world fuck that you know it's a fucking flying is difficult you have to bring diapers and shit but then you like see you're like well niece and she's like the cutest thing ever and you're like oh i get it now yeah totally you know what i mean that makes sense yeah yeah because when you see other people's kids it's like they don't have your dna yeah and then you'd see they like post about them and then they'd like, you know, they'd be like, yeah, we got our kid. I'd be like, yeah, it sucks, man.

You're trapped. Yeah. But now I get it. I'm like, oh, I could totally see myself with like a little kid, like know just being really stoked and like you know because when people say like i just want to be with my kids you know i'd be like you know and then but now when people say that i'm like oh i get it like you do just kind of want to be around them and and then watch them grow just watch them be cute they're funny they're so funny they are they're really funny they're just silly and yeah walk funny. Yeah. It just makes me laugh, yeah.

Yeah. And the things they say, like my niece, my brother has chickens in the backyard and my niece calls them the ladies. She just shows us go outside. She's like, be nice, ladies. Stuff like that. That is cute. That's great.

Yeah. Stuff like that. It's cool to watch a brain develop too. Yeah. Like watch the choices they make and like yeah when they're like smarter than they should be at a certain age and you're like well how do you know that yeah and it's a and then you kind of it opens up your brain yeah you're like whoa i've been kind of locked into this thinking that i got stuck in from just thinking with people in my own age bracket in

my own life experience for so long yeah and then you see like an eight-year-old thinking about things and you're like oh i kind of want my brain to be more like that yeah yeah totally you're like they're they're seeing things i don't know they'll just correct you on stuff or they'll they'll shoot back at you and you're like like whoa this kid sees things yeah yeah that is cool yeah oh i did have my 12 year old nephew try to correct me on a joke though and i was not cool with that really what would happen well he was he was trying to be politically correct and i was just like no yeah don't do that we're just i'm just telling jokes here okay yeah no i i think i think too yeah some of it from my, you know, I faced a certain amount of disrespect from other nieces and nephews because they just look at me like, who the fuck are you?

And I'm like, who the fuck am I? You're going to want to know who I am, you little motherfucker. You know? And that sort of turned me off where I'm like, am I just going to have this little fucker who just stares at me you know have to pay for his ass fuck you you know what i mean yes that's what i felt i had the same sitch my cousin lucas was like uh he was a little too old for this soon i love you lucas you're the man and he's not still on this path gratefully but he was like 16 i was like what do you want to do he was like i want to be a downhill skateboarder and so i guess there was like a kind of skateboarding was a specifically

designed board like longboard like sector nine yeah they like luge downhill yeah and you know i'm older so maybe i don't know what's hot but i just went with my gut i was like that's not possible yeah i was like no one knows what downhill skateboarding is it's not a thing where you can make a career yeah and then he was like what are you doing i was like i no one knows what downhill skateboarding is. It's not a thing where you can make a career. And then he was like, what are you doing? I was like, I'm trying to be a comedian. He was like, that's even dumber. And I was like, I get what you're saying,

but you can name like 100 comedians. No one can name a single downhill skater. He wouldn't budge. And by the end of the argument, I felt like comedy was as dumb as downhill skating. I was like, he might be right. Nice. And I was like, but you know, it was frustrating.

I was like, fuck this kid, dude. No, I didn't think that. I was just like, you know what, Lucas? Hopefully you'll learn. But that's not satisfying. Yeah. I don't want to have to have that be my final line. I really want to, you know.

How old was he? He was like 16. I really wanted to throttle him, but I couldn't. So I was just like, Lucas, we'll see. That was like my exit line. And I didn't feel like it had the punch I really wanted it to. I wanted all the adults to come to the room and agree with me and go, guys, we were listening to the argument in the other room. JT's right.

Comedy is a couple points ahead of downhill skateboarding in terms of long-term viability. But, you know, no one wants to weigh in. Let's do this. Hey, Chad and JT, I'm in a little bit of a slump romantically and it's making me unhappy. I'm in my late 20s and I started dating two years ago. I dated a girl for 10 months and it ended in august and i've been and i've been miserable ever since she broke up with me i've been on two dates from the apps and they've all flamed out i just feel like no one wants me and i'm not doing good enough for anyone my ex blocked me everywhere

and i don't know how to get my stoke up how do you guys get through slumps i'm sick of bad coffee and walk dates that go nowhere yeah i remember i remember you know last year i was like last summer i was going through i like i went through a breakup last like april and it didn't really hit me till the summer and then it just like hit me hard and i was like oh you know like a punch in the gut and i felt that feeling of just like you know like, like a punch in the gut. And I felt that feeling of just like, you know, like for like a week or two of kind of just like, like, I don't even want to do any, you know, that thing where you're like, I don't even want to do anything.

Like this sucks. But then in my mind, I just had like this thing of like, of like just push through, just push through. It's sort of like when you're doing something hard, you know, like a nice bath or you just like stay in the pocket, stay in the pocket. And I just think that's what you got to do because you know i think this breakup happened for a reason you know i'll no matter if it did or not you know i always try to like be like this happened for a reason that i will see in the future

a good reason you know that will benefit you know it's like something better is coming along so i would just stay in the pocket keep going on dates you're gonna meet someone i promise you and you know and just try to try to have fun on the dates like have a mentality of like of like i want to get to know this person instead of like i'm like i need to like fill this hole you know inside of myself it's more just like oh this is a cool opportunity to get to know this person and like say what up and you know you know have some coffee or maybe have a poke bowl or you know a nice g and t and uh you just have some good conversation i think just if you just approach it that way, then you'll surprise yourself. 100%. Yeah.

Yeah, I totally agree. One, I don't think you and this person were meant to be together. So it's a good thing it ended. Yeah. And even though it hurts, you got to think about it that way. Two, yeah, just try and enjoy these dates. Dates are fun, dude. Even if they go nowhere it's

fun you know of course we get frustrated being like when am i gonna find my person and like am i just spinning my wheels that's part of it but i think you might be fixating on that part too much like think about the cool part of a date you get to go do like an activity with someone that's always fun to have some company and then like Chad said just just focus on like listening and having fun not even having fun just listening and like and enjoying the conversation just enjoy talking to someone and then you have someone to listen to you yeah better than that yeah you've got a captive audience for at least one cup of coffee. Yeah. Just get everything off your chest.

You know what? Maybe on your next date, tell who's ever on the date all these feelings. You won't get a second date, but you'll feel better. Yeah. Just get it all off your chest. You got a woman there you can unload on. And don't be really nice to her, but just be like, I feel terrible. I feel like this is all useless. I'm in in love with this girl and she's blocked me everywhere like

literally blocked me from her street they put in a security guard they won't let me past them and then the house is blurry on google maps yeah she's unsurveillable and just uh just get it all out but yeah you'll get past this is very normal but i would just remember that's a good thing y'all broke up and then try to just have fun on a date yeah and i think too like you'll surprise yourself i always think like i have the mentality of uh you know just being open and like so corny, but saying yes to life, you know, because that when you do that, when like opportunities present themselves, you know, it's like it's like you get an invite to like a show or you like, you know, it's like someone asks you to do blah, blah, blah. And it's like, you know, you'll I guarantee you'll meet someone that way in a way that you won't expect. I guarantee you'll meet someone that way in a way that you won't expect.

Because when you close yourself off to those things, that doesn't allow for those new people to come into your life. That just keeps you in your room just jacking off, which I can relate to. Just dropping fat loads on OnlyFans. can certainly relate yeah if you got to do that a couple days out of the week just make sure you go hard those other days on non-only fans things but i hear you man that's it's tough it's tough all that stuff's tough it's the worst like i

always say join an adult rec league sport yeah you will meet people there are always chicks have a good time yeah dude i talked about amir kabiri's teaching himself trigonometry yeah you know this is a man who just in his 30s who just was like you know what i want to learn more math i go to the comedy store with him he starts talking to other comic i forget who it was this guy was teaching himself calculus really yeah what's going on it's awesome yeah they got time they're like i'm just gonna teach myself math he was like he's like and he got kind of self-conscious talking about calculus in front of me and i was like dude bro no go like if you lose me you lose me and i'll just try and pick up what i can and i was like you know even if i just get a little couple droplets of jargon i'm happy for that and then he was like

what's cool about calculus is you're just basically calculating space i was like no one ever explained it that way to me yeah that's fucking fire dude yeah that is sick hey chad and jt please keep out keep me anonymous in my mid-20s recently single and live in a small town, like under 2,000 people, but have plans to move in the next year or two. I don't do much other than work, cook, and work out. Work, cook, and work out. That sounds good. I've got back into working out since becoming single a few months back. Lately, though, I've been struggling to stay on the grind due to having minimal to no attractive women in my town that I could see myself dating.

That cracks me up, too. I don't know why am i being mean no no i mean i will travel on the weekends sometimes to see guy friends and party but we're seeing no hot chicks on a daily basis how would you guys approach staying motivating and getting after it thanks much boys there's less people in his town his town is half the people my high school did. That's crazy. That's crazy. Wait, so he's having a struggle with no motivation because he doesn't see hot chicks? That's funny. Very funny.

I want to say first off that I really appreciate our listenership. I love it. Dude, I'm going to tell you right now, and I would not normally give this advice. I think you need to expand your hinge range to like 5,000 miles. Just start matching with girls in Hawaii. Because you can move where you're at on hinge, right? Just move it to, I don't know where you live. I'm going to guess Ohio.

Move it to Cincinnati. Start matching with girls on there and start setting up dates in Cincinnati that are like three months away. And then you'll have something to look forward to. And then when you go on the date, you'll want to have something fun to talk about. So you'll work harder to, you know, have a bunch of stuff to talk about. Yeah. Dude, also follow Cindy Prado on Instagram.

That's what I did during quarantine and she she just posts videos of her working out on her balcony in miami every morning just like in a bikini just her workout is just like dancing and stuff and like doing like burpees and like doing squats and stuff and i would just be like i'm like yes i'm gonna buy an assault bike and so i think you just go on the treadmill and run to like Cindy Prado's Instagram. Dude, you're so right, man. There is no excuse, dude. You have Instagram.

Yeah. There is random girls everywhere that could motivate you. Yeah. And then you're going to be like, well, I can't meet them. Not with that attitude, dude. Yeah. You should follow them in your head. Be like, I will meet this person one day.

And when i see them i want to have a good story to tell this is for cindy what's up stokers i'm a 17 year old dude who loves the pod the pod has been helping me in my recent hurdles and i want to thank y'all for that my question is what should i do in this situation so i was taking i was talking to this girl for like six months, and we've been on and off for two years. Mind you, this girl has had no former experience with a guy. She's this extremely nice studious babe and checks off all the boxes. She's and her best friend are the only girls I share interest with because I go to a country private school in Austin.

She's probably the only girl I've ever actually been crushing on hard. I thought everything was going well until recently. I found out that she, that I, I found out that. IG. She stopped liking me and that she doesn't want to date anyone. Cause she's working on herself and I get rejected. I was absolutely wrecked about this until her best friend,

absolute babe. One night, one week later comforts me while at a party about the situation. And she ends up coming on to me and we ended up hooking at a party about the situation and she ends up coming on to me and we end up hooking up but then the next day she's like yeah i don't know about that to her friends and now that's probably not going anywhere so now i that's how she said that morning yeah i don't know about that dude i can relate one time i was having trouble getting a boner and then i finally

got it up and i i was on top of someone and i started gyrating and she literally likes me goes it's not working for me and like pushed me out yeah it was funny um and then i so i i like was like all right well you know i'm gonna do whatever it takes so she i got on my back she sat on my face she put so much pressure down on my my mouth was open and she was putting so much pressure i thought she was going to crack my jaw but i felt so bad about her not liking the sex that i didn't tap out and i just laid there and I'm literally Mad I was like if you die you die Let her do whatever she needs to do Putting so much pelvic pressure on my freaking face when she came up were you like?

Was a guy tap i tapped i was like i was like your arms once i walked in it's like strider's like what up dude you're just like just squirming oh get off him get off him Strider tackles her like he's an MMA ref. He's turning blue. Waves in the medic. Thank you, brother. I wake up. I'm like, what happened? I'm like, what happened?

Did she come? Did she come? Well, what happened? She just stopped at a certain point. She's like, that's not working either. And I was like, alright. Alright. Cool as shit.

You're like, alright. Alright. Totally fine. Alright, I'll talk on the other side. I'll call you. Well, I'm still going to go to the museum next week if you want to. Okay, you want to come over

she comes here jaws wired shut I'm going to be out of commission for a couple weeks but I'll see you after that hey can you help feed me just squirt this insure into my mouth yeah let's go to dinner tonight

I'm thinking milkshakes so now i don't know what to do as first girl i was originally crushing on i can't get over and she recently liked part of me and part of me still thinks i have a chance in a 70 person grade in private school i really don't have any other options and can't find anyone i'd like anywhere else since i don't really have any other connections i know it's high school and this whole situation is very stupid but part of me is wrecked and feels like i need a good girl right now is i don't really identify with a lot of people in my country high school let me know stokers uh i don't i mean you. People are, you know, people are sporadic. Does that work?

I don't think so. I don't know. I'm going to use it. People are sporadic. I think that works, dude. Yeah, people are sporadic. You know, people don't know what they want. When I was 16, you know, I would be like, you know, I don't even know what I want. I wanted to be, I want to live in Hawaii and, you know, just do, you know, don't even know what i want i wanted to be i want to live in hawaii and you know uh just do you know drink my own pee and i still do um but uh

you know i would say give her some space let her figure it out do your own thing you're in austin dude i mean there's a lot other schools over there you know i you know go do some like activities go you know go to another high school dance and just show up and watch the conye documentary and show up and be like i am god you know they don't want me to go to this high school because they say i don't go here but they they don't go here. They're teachers. They're not students. I am the student. And everyone's like,

it kind of makes sense. Yeah. Yeah. Like we're doing that. And then she'll want you back. Yeah. Dude. And you're,

I don't, I hate when I used to hate when adults said this to me, but I think it's true. Like, dude, you are too young to need a girl right now. Like when I was, I didn't have a girlfriend until i was 24 i was desperate to hook up with someone in high school but you just you got to compartmentalize it like it can't be your be all end all like you just got to be able to suffer through it and know that brighter days are ahead dude you're kind of doing

great he's hooked up with a friend he hooked up with two people in a 70 person grade yeah and dude you're young like this is the time to to to figure yourself out and start to you know really hone down on your interests and build up some skills i always look at like you know like dave chappelle started stand-up when he was like 14 or something i'm like man if i just like i'm happy with the path i'm on but uh and i have no regrets but like i'm like man if i just like i'm happy with the path i'm on but uh and i have no regrets but like i'm like man if i had started to stand up then like i've been insane so focus in on that because you know down the line you're gonna look back on that and be like well what was i so worked up about this is stupid i should have been learning finance that i should become like a crypto god you know and i think you get you get better at that right. I should become like a crypto god, you know?

And I think you get better at that, right? Like sometimes you like a girl and then she doesn't like you back. And then it takes you like a month to get over the loss of it. You know what I mean? But then I think as you get older, like, look, it always hurts when someone rejects you. But just try to shorten the time it does. Like, you know, with that second girl, it's like you know with that second girl it's like it kind of feels to me like she was just being competitive with the other girl and they've got their own issues that they're working through via other people but i don't know i think you

you're totally not into either of these girls nice yeah i don't think you i don't think i'm sure that neither of these girls are the one for you i agree and i don't think you're gonna meet your person for another good chunk of time 12 years you're like 12 years away dude i'm 34 i'm single bro he's living it up but i might not meet my person for another six years it could be tomorrow i don't know we don't know you don't know no one knows you just gotta have you gotta have fun man yeah enjoy the ride enjoy the ride no you know no one wants to i know i know it's i know you just want to tell people about how much this sucks and how hurt you are and i get it but i always you know it's like i think you just gotta look at yourself as like i'm on i'm on i'm in a i'm in a lambo on

the pch cruising living my, having a great time. If you want to hop in shotgun, hop in. Otherwise, I'm going to Santa Barbara. That's the mentality. 100%. I think there's this balance, right, between being honest about what you're feeling and honest about what you're going through and not being afraid of the sadness of it, but then also not being confined to that sadness.

Like we talk about the sadness to get to the other side of it yeah but if it's not doing that for you then you just gotta you gotta try something else make believe that you're stoked on this yeah and just reinforce that until you can until because you're you're the rest of you will catch up to that and then you'll actually feel that way yeah and watch some inspiring movies you know like watch a brad pitt movie watch brad pitt be cool that's why when i was going through heartbreak i watched brad pitt And then you'll actually feel that way. Yeah, and watch some inspiring movies. Watch a Brad Pitt movie. Watch Brad Pitt be cool. When I was going through heartbreak, I watched Brad Pitt be cool in a bunch of movies. Watch Brad Pitt in Once Upon a Time in Hollywood when he's single.

He's going to his trailer. He's got a cool-ass pitbull. He's making mac and cheese, and he's having a blast. And I'm like, dude, that's what I'm going to do right now. I'm going to have a blast. Just, you know, just make some. Dude, go get a dog. Maybe you have a family dog.

Go get a dog. Go get some mac and cheese and watch some TV. Tell me you don't feel better. I love that. I think you need heroes. Yeah. Get love that. I think you need heroes. Yeah. Get some heroes. Find some single-ass heroes and look to them for guidance.

Yeah. And then, yeah, when you're eating that mac and cheese and you're with your dog, pretend like there's a camera watching you and you want to look cool for that camera, right? So you're going to sit up a little taller, have a little bit more fun with the dog, a little bit more back and forth banter, maybe laugh a little bit more at what you're watching. Put on a show for the invisible audience that wants to love you. To the other side of that too,

I saw a funny Tom Hardy quote where he's like, people who need love all the time are weak. They need someone to tell them that they're like special. But once you're single for a while, you realize what a privilege it is to be single. And I was like, spoken like a guy who can get laid every night, dude. Like your version of single is not other people's version. Like Tom Hardy's like, it's easy being single.

I'm like, yeah, dude, for you. Like you're Tom Hardy. Whatever you want to do in a night, you don't need to have someone to count on to do that. You can find somebody. Most people are not in that situation and they do need a partner but not a 16 year old who's in high school you're fine dude yeah for sure but yeah that time i already think i was like get the fuck out of here bro god we're also brought to you by the legends at manscape manscape thank you so much for keeping our trends p for looking after our, for making sure their dinks are looking fresh and clean because I trimmed my pubes last week.

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First time listener, first time messaging. Me and my girlfriend have been together for six months. She's been great to me and I'm extremely lucky to have her in my life. We're both 25, but we've never been in an actual relationship before this one. We get along very well, but we're both not used to being able to be with one person. And sometimes I find the idea of being limited to being intimate with her scary, but I would also be way too jealous to have any open relationship. When my girlfriend is not around, I've been having urges to hook up with random people whenever I get horny. Although I never go through with the urgesges i do start installing dating apps and start messaging

people on them i've done that i always delete them before anything actual happens that's what i would do too i usually go jerk off and then i'm fine again and won't have any lingering urges of wanting to look for hookups do this guy this is literally me dude i get it my problem is that it seems to be happening every day and sometimes multiple times a day on top of that i'm developing a masturbation porn addiction just to cope i hear you i love my girlfriend dealiam never want to cheat on her but having these urges feels very concerning to me how do i stay faithful without having to rely on jacking off to fight these demons love the pod and hope you guys are having a great day i'd say break up yeah i mean if you're having those how long were they doing like six months

you're having those urges already that might not be the person for you yeah and even if it is him and he just has stuff he has to work on on his own yeah you kind of need to do that alone yeah like it she might not be the right person point blank period in which case break up and you might not be the person you need to be right now to be in a relationship but i don't think that's going to happen in this with your current girlfriend if that makes sense like i just think you have more exploring to do it just doesn't sound like you're done yet yeah yeah it seems like you know i don't think you can force that like you know if you're already feeling that way and you know you're six months in you're like i don't want to be limited i mean i think he's got a i think you know because and uh you don't want to

hurt her down the line because he didn't you know he didn't you know go explore a little bit more yourself you know yeah i think if you're right if you're doing that it's a sign that something's it's a sign to you that something's not right and that you need to make a change and i don't think i don't even think you're gonna cheat on her but like but i think you're just gonna be white knuckling it every day like that's not a way to live that's like super suffering like i would just i would just break up and then it's not fair to her no she's gonna she's not feeling good about that and it's gonna manifest itself in other ways and and then if you do get caught that's like brutal for her and for you and you guys are just both gonna be in pain and then you and then see if the masturbation and

the porn stuff keeps up when you're broken up and that's something you can work on but yeah i don't i don't think it's funny though like the relationships where i've had no temptation to like do that stuff um were really for me like not healthy relationships. Like they were just really, really intense, except for one. But like they were just like really, really intense. And so like it tapped into my anxiety in a way that occupied all that energy. So I wasn't even worried about other girls. I was just worried about like making this work.

But in the ones where it was like more settled and calm, I felt that spark because I think I was looking for negative excitement. But the relationships where I didn't look for that stuff, I already had all that negative excitement. Right. It's like a, I don't know, like anxious avoidant type thing maybe. Right. When I'm the avoidant one, I start doing that stuff.

When I'm the anxious one, I don't. You're like locked in. I'm locked in. I'm just convincing this person. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh, that hurt. Oh, that hurt. I figured it out. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. oh oh oh oh oh god daniel day lewis and the conjuring who did you play in this film i am the conjuring what is the conjuring it's like a spooky demon in a house yeah basically it's a doll isn't it yeah it's a doll annabelle the uh possessed doll yeah it's demons possessing people the use the use yeah dude i would break up bro well i i don't know if he needs to break up i

would just be like you don't have to think of this as a death sentence oh this is very healthy as a relationship like yeah don't you know just because you're with somebody for six months doesn't mean you're gonna be with them forever maybe she's not looking for that either you know it's one of those things you just go through and learn from and you'll be all right that's that's true too like i think sometimes we get ahead of ourselves and we're like is this the person I'm going to marry? Yeah. And then it's like most things aren't going to survive under that scrutiny

or you're not going to be able to maintain joy in them if you think about them like that. But if you can be like, yo, I'm just going to take it one day at a time and just today is going to be a good day, then it might take some of the anxiety out of it. Yeah. Yeah. I never thought about what the girl I dated before my wife,

never really thought about the future or like marriage or anything. Yeah. Maybe that was a sign, but you know, who knows? And then when I met my wife, it was just like, oh yeah.

Yeah. I mean, it just happens. Yeah. Same here. I never, and yeah, it's interesting i mean i definitely had anxiety before i got married about that sort of thing

but then it's like when i was single it's not like i was out there slaying puss like left and right like so if you got out of this you play it modest for the pod aaron yeah well you know there's that but like aaron claps cheek yeah come on we all know what was going down bro i mean it did make someone squirt uh deep rotation but but like yeah it's you have to assess like well if you were single right now what would you be doing you know this guy's clearly would be on apps and stuff like that. And it's like, all right,

well maybe you should be out. And you will lose, you'll lose your, a little bit of that. When you're in a relationship, it's easier to flirt. Everyone knows that. Oh yeah.

You got that easy going confidence. Cause you don't have much skin in the game. And then once you break up, you're like frayed. And you're like, no one likes me. No one's telling me I'm great every day. I don't have, I don't have what it takes to get in there please fuck me please please

can i ask you something serious can you please please fuck me so you like books you like to read i'd like to be honest with you and cut to the quick here i'm willing to do anything and be as kind and as generous and as loyal as I have to be. Now, will you please, please fuck me? Please. Fuck me, please. Please fuck me. I think it would help me a lot.

And if we did that, you would see the better me. The better me would come out. Please, please. Please. Please fuck me. Please. Please fuck me. Please.

Dude, you get single and you stand at an intersection holding a sign saying, please fuck me. I'd honk. Willing to work for it. Honestly and with dedication. Please fuck me. Good luck out there, brother. I'd honk my horn. Please fuck me. Good luck out there, brother.

You got this. Don't quit. Don't quit, bro. Please fuck me. You're just out there crying. Please fuck me. I always imagine him just straight-faced. Just like...

Going up to windows. You know how they go up to your your window they'll just stare at you no not today man i can't dude i'm busy man come on people yeah people will just like act like he don't exist they'll be looking at their phone like you just sit there you work with him at a corporate job that's what he does at lunch you just see him get up from his cubicle, grab his sign. Rick, yo. Hey, we're all heading to Chipotle. You want to cruise? No, man.

I got my own thing. Flips the sign in the air. Hey, Rick, you find anyone? No. Oh, man. I'm exhausted. It was hot as hell out there on Cahuenga. Are you holding the sign again?

He's like, every day, brother. I don't quit. I don't quit. don't quit you know you hear about people like faking that because you can make bank or whatever it's like dude rick is slaying dude that whole sign thing's working for rick you're like i don't know if it'll work for me though it's not really my vibe you just hold this up please what's up stoke lords absolutely love the pod keep crushing it i've been needing help with this for a long time me and my brother are totally opposite people and i want to figure out how we can rekindle our brotherly love i'm 22 and he just turned 24 i love to get fired up

crush some seltzers and have a great time with the boys my brother on the other hand likes to stay home and play video games on his computer in his free time i don't play video games much but if i did it would definitely wouldn't be the ones he plays i'm looking for a way i can bridge the divide between our personalities and be able to become real bros again it saddens me to see our bond so weak because of our complete lack of common interest and his overwhelming desire to be anti-social and never go out and party is there any advice the council could provide me on this issue um first i think as you get older you just naturally get closer to your brothers because you kind of realize that this whole world's like pretty uh hard and that the thing you can trust

the most is your family you know what i mean so i think some of that will just work out over time but dude i would meet him on his level like it's so your brother doesn't like to do what you do and i get it you know crushing seltzer and going to parties is fun but even if you're not into the computer games i would just go play the computer games he likes and he'll feel the effort i think yeah i was thinking too like set up dates with them like you know like go see a movie together i'm sure he'll you know i don't know many people that don't like to go to the movies. You know, go see Batman with him. Like I said, I remember the most normal times I've had with my brothers.

Like when we like, we saw like Star Wars Revenge of the Sith together. You know, I think about that a lot. So I think, you know, try and do things that don't require much, you know. I remember when I go like parties with my brother, you know, with his friends, it was, like, brutal. So just because you're just sort of, like, you know, you don't know them, you just feel awkward. But, like, just do fun things for you guys to do together.

You know, go get Chipotle together. You know, go hold up a sign at an intersection that says, please fuck me together. Dude, that'd be really cool. See what happens. Do that. Yeah. Please please fuck us please fuck him sacrifice for your bro let him know everything about him first dude my brother's really nice man he makes an effort like always but like even like with ufc stuff my brother's not very into it yeah dude he'll come over and watch it

with me and i'll just talk his ear off about everything yeah and he's he's super sweet he makes an effort he listens he asked me like questions back like yeah he just puts in the effort and it we notice those things like it doesn't go unnoticed i like my heart grows i'm like it's just so sweet of him to to do that for me because he knows how much i like it i think if you do that for your brother he'll feel that and and repay it yeah but yeah i wouldn't i wouldn't try to get him to come to your side though maybe he will in time or something but it's hard to make someone want to party yeah yeah uh one more there's also a little bit of judgment when you call them anti-social and he's been a little hard on his brother it's his little brother so i kind of get it but he's like

meet in the middle mario kart yeah meet him in the middle bro long time fan y'all freaking crush it every week i'm asking you for advice with the females i'm 19 and been single for over two years now i have no trouble getting laid and i'd like to think I'm a decent looking fella, but I'm ready to get a dank SGF, but nothing seems to be working. I go on dates and they seem to go really well, but I can't get date number two. It's always some excuse than a friend zone.

I can get laid easy enough, but I don't want to date a girl who gives it up that easy. I know I'm young and I'm starting a career in real estate, so I'm cool with just being young and on the grind, but I'm looking for love not a quick pipe any thoughts quick aaron cam was going off during that aaron cam what are you thinking wow that's just a i mean i've been single for two years since i was 17 dude and then i get ladies good enough.

It's like, it's one of those, if Joe were here, he would just be like, quit bragging, you know? Yeah. I don't see,

I think you're doing fine, man. I don't think he needs much. Just keep doing you. She's going to pop up along the way. And I don't know if you're done piping doesn't sound like he's done piping yeah well also don't don't judge a girl for for wanting to sleep with you on the first like that could be your future wife like yeah that happens yeah that's not don't

judge a girl just because she's fucking a normal person who's horny? Yeah. Yeah. Sometimes you got to put up the boundary. Yeah. Dude, I had someone. Is this even disrespectful? I was hanging out with a gal and she's like, she goes, hey, have you ever turned down sex? And I was like, what? She's like, have you ever like turned someone down?

And I was like, I'm 34. Like, yeah, it's happened before. And she's like, okay. And turned someone down? And I was like, I'm 34. Yeah, it's happened before. And she's like, oh, okay. And I took that as massive disrespect. She thought every time someone had wanted to have sex with me, I did it. Is that bragging too? No. On your part?

No. Yeah, am I bragging right now? No. That was kind of insulting by her right maybe maybe yeah or she's judging she could just be judging all guys like that but i also think girls are curious oh they just want to know what i'm up to yeah dude it's funny she sent me like a joke this is what a fucking psycho i am dude uh i'm like like, hey, I'll pick you up tomorrow. What's your address?

She types me her address and she goes, I think. But if it's actually not this address, just walk around. I'm sure you'll find it. I go, is she serious? I'm like, how rude is that? I'm like, just send me your real address. And then my buddy's like, dude, she's joking. And I was like, oh.

Generally pissed off. Yeah. and then my buddy's like dude she's joking and i was like oh i mean texas hard i was like this is huge disrespect she's disrespecting me bro she's gonna make me walk around a block looking for a place tell me which place it is i'm busy and he was like she's kidding and he was like, she's kidding. And I was like, oh, okay. Sounds good, dude. I think girls just like to hear about your past. Oh, interesting. You're right. So this dude, do we think this dude has any? Yeah, well, he said that a lot of the dates don't work out and he's friend zone uh maybe you're

trying too hard in that respect yeah when you're on like a first or second date either way yeah and you're just looking at the person like you're the one i'm gonna fit you into that slot you're gonna be the person who makes my whole life complete yeah it's gonna scare somebody i i did that all the time in high school and college. That was like, because I had no idea. And, you know, you just, like, when I was that age, I was like, I don't know how to fucking date. And, like, the whole idea of, like, attraction and stuff. I was like, yeah, you know, because I was like, oh, please marry me. And, like, never. You just get friends or whatever.

So I would just relax. You know, keep doing you, you're 19, have fun, keep living your life, go on dates, but just sort of, you know, go there to get to know the person. Don't try to, you know, don't come in with that, like, I need a girlfriend energy because that just, you know, seems to turn people off. Yeah, and I think we tell ourselves that it's romantic. And then we feel so passionate about it. We project onto the other person the same passion. We're like, no, they get it. We're on the same level. We both want this to happen at this freakish, intense speed.

Yeah. But I think you got to realize that's kind of you filling that in there. And your romantic side will still come through even if you go slow yeah it can still be romantic even if you don't even if it's not like top of a mountain screaming together and a second date yeah like if you just go in there to have fun and like it's another person you're like genuinely interested be like yeah tell me about you know uh you know do you like uh uh you know do you eat like bull testicles you know yeah be yourself yeah because i do that's huge i think go with that yeah that's always better too yeah like if you're asking someone about bull testicles and then they vibe you know you're

on the same wavelength it's huge and you know if you get bored at the date just go in the bathroom and rip your vape dude nice is that what you do never you know it's always fun to go into a stall and rip a vape i'm ready come on get back out there. You got this. I was vaping at the Bieber concert. Oh, yeah, me too. It's the best. It's funny, dude. When vaping first came out, and there would just be little vines of people with the big box vapes blowing a plume out of their car.

I think, who would ever do that? And now that I do it, I'm like, it's the best. Because I think I like looking stupid. Yeah. I think we all need to like, it's the best. Yeah. Because I think I like looking stupid. Yeah. I think we all need to look a little stupid. You got to do some things where you know that people are going to look at you like, what a freaking chotch. And you're like, I am a chotch. And you look back at them.

You just go, I'm a fucking, I was too cool. So I started doing this to balance myself out. Yeah. That's why I started vaping. Yeah, I suck. All right. Should we push into the next out. Yeah. That's why I started vaping. Yeah, I suck. All right. Should we push into the next part? Yeah.

Let's do it. Chattiest Maximus Aurelius, what's your beef of the week? My beef of the week. My beef of the week is with indecisive pedestrians. You know, when you try to make a right turn try to make a left turn and you see people and they're kind of like inching in towards the crosswalk and they're on their phone or they're just sort of like looking around it's like make a decision all right i gotta turn especially in la you're like dude either cross or get boked. Okay? I don't need this whole

oh, what am I doing? Oh, wow. Look at the sky. It's like, dude, either walk or don't. And if you're not going to walk, make it clear that you're not going to walk. Don't inch up on the sidewalk and just fucking makes me so upset. Because it happens all the time.

Dude. And dawdling when people dawdle across and they're just sort of like Makes me so upset. Because it happens all the time. Dude. Yeah. And then people and dawdling when people dawdle across and they're just sort of like, you know, just looking around, you know, just sort of like, oh, I guess I'm crossing the street. It's like, yeah, you're crossing the street. I don't like pedestrians. I don't. I think they're whack. And I think they need to understand what they're doing which is crossing

the street it's when they make themselves more important than the cars yeah i'm like you're not more important than the car in the hierarchy it's cars than you yeah yeah this is america understand that it's a driving culture yeah totes i'm with you 100 dangerous too yeah people gonna get fucking hit dude when they're inching up towards the crosswalk i'm like stay back back up like you're making me you know i'm wasting gas here can't waste gas right now no do you hear about this area gas prices are high yeah yeah it's been in every news broadcast for the last two weeks for real yeah it's pretty there's people dying but yeah this gas prices are high whoa yeah crazy that's nuts i heard steven colbert was like it's worth it because we get to have a clear

conscience yeah just buy a tesla bro what an idiot dude just shut up you just don't want to say anything i thought it'd be funny if if bieber came out because he's like he's like yo la what's going on we're so divided it's crazy crazy well i thought it'd be funny if he came out he's like yo la we need to become energy independent yo these gas prices are crazy it'd be funny to beaver just had like wouldn't he be cooler if he just had no idea what was going on and he just walked out then he was like yo la what up it's beautiful right now the world's never been better we've never been more united let's keep it that way all right here's love yourself it's like worse when they try to sound like aware you know what i mean yeah just be unaware yeah aaron you got a beef of the week yeah

vladimir putin fuck that guy who's that is he a bitch he's being a little bitch right now oh dude then he'll get straight up slapped hope so hope so yeah no he's a fucker i don't have much to add to it other than you know it's just it's just it's brutally annoying to see that like some guy loading up troops on the border of a country during the olympics and just being like what i'm not doing anything with them and then immediately going into the you know bombing maternity wards and yeah just completely heinous it's insane yeah that was really sad yeah dude my beef of the week and it's controversial

my beef of the week is with people who want you to look at your phone less. I think it's fine that we look at our phones all the time. I think we communicate with other people by how we look at our phones and how often. And I think that's fine. Conversation evolves. Everyone's like, no, no, don't look at your phone. Be more present. I'm like, that sounds like a lot. I take a lot of solace in my phone. I look at your phone. Be more present. I'm like, that sounds like a lot. I take a lot of solace in my phone. I look at it, I chill. And we have a good relationship.

Like I look at it all the time. In some ways, my phone is an extension of me. It's like goes beyond best friend. It's like best body part. It's all good. And I don't mind talking to someone when they're looking at their phone. I'm like, look, I still got to get this story out. It's got to come out. And if you got to, if to hear it, you need to look at your phone, go for it.

You'll pick up enough. Nice. Yeah. I like that. Chad, who's your babe of the week? My babe of the week is the Biebs, Justin Bieber. I was watching him. I was like, man, how cool would it be if you could just crush it singing?

Because as a comedian, you're sort of like man I need new material you know my material sucks right now I need new jokes I need new jokes all the time but then if you can just go out there and just sing like a hot sexy R&B song and just do some thrusts you know

that'd be sick just wear a cool ass outfit some leather pants and that's what the Biebs does you know? That'd be sick. Just wear a cool ass outfit. Some leather pants. And that's what the Biebs does. That's what he does. And you're like, yeah,

I'm going into the studio. Yo, LA. Look, I know it's not, you know, traditional smile here, but I'm from Canada and that's what we do.

Let me just say stupid shit like that. And people are like, wow, dude, you're so profound. Yeah. Yeah. All right. Here's boyfriend. That's the best part about being a musician. You can always land whatever you're saying with here's a fucking banger of a song that

you all love. And we're all like, yeah, it feels banger of a song that you all love and we're all like, yes. Feels like we're cheering for what you said. Yeah. If I was your boyfriend, I'd never let you go. I could take you places you ain't never been before. Swag, swag, swag, swag. Fondue, chilling on the porch while we eat fondue.

When he mentions fondue, dude, perfect food to pick. Do you think he wrote that lyric or someone else did yo bieber wrote that shit 100 dude he was probably like you know he's like 17 and someone's like have some of this and he's like what is this like that's fondue and he's like yeah and you can just visualize it like him chilling there's like a deck you know they're backlit by the sun they're looking at each other waves are crashing he's just dunking i'm guessing he's doing chocolate fondue cheese fondue is not quite as sexy if you're just dunking hunks of bread into hot cheese pouring it all over your lover yeah

people love cheese though i would love that a cheesy get down with a gal just pouring hot cheese down her butt crack. Laying underneath it and having it dripping in my mouth. Dude. I wonder if I could put that to lyrics. Yeah, I want to put fondue in your butt crack. Melt it, melt that. Let it melt down your crack and into my mouth.

Aaron, do you have a beef of the week? Or Aaron, do you have a babe of the week? Aaron, do you have a babe of the week? Yeah, my babe of the week is that baseball is coming back. Super excited. When does it start? The season starts April 7th now. But spring training

games start Thursday. Dang. What do you think about a peacock getting Sunday baseball? Just on the app only i think i think you got to have the app well luckily i do but is that big for peacock i don't know because it's not like it's not the, it's not the sport at its highest popularity point right now, certainly. If it was during the pandemic, like when it was fully locked down, yeah. When people needed somewhere to watch it.

I don't know. Be interesting. Did Amazon get one too? I think Amazon's getting football. They're getting Thursday night football, yeah. Amazon's got football now. I don't know. Be interesting. Did Amazon get one too? I think Amazon's getting football. They're getting Thursday night football, yeah. Amazon's got football now. But I thought maybe they were getting like some other game of the week.

Way bigger than baseball. No disrespect. No, no, it is. I mean, you can't argue that one game every week is more important than six games a week for six months but i love it i love having something to watch every day so yeah i'm excited and you know it was looking pretty bleak there for a bit so uh it'll be great when it's fully back my baby of the week is zoe kravitz she's in the batman she's awesome as a selena kyle cat woman she has that thing that angelina jolie has that even though they're like small they have like a

steeliness to their identity and personality that makes you think they could actually whoop ass so you're like yeah this girl just has like a tough energy like she could kick some ass and she's just like like uh i don't know she just like exudes cool that's why when they try to cast her in high fidelity as a loser i like turned it off i was like what zoe kravitz as a loser like where it's not happening but in cat woman you're like selena kyle or zoe kravitz is like a kind of like thieving crime fighter yeah and she's great that's sick she's cool chad who's your legend of the week my legend of the week is goat testicles uh i went to new orleans with my brother we did uh 60 minutes on the uh rogue assault bike

60 minutes on the Rogue Assault Bike and then we finished it off with some goat testicles and raw with maple syrup on them. I ate one whole ball and it tastes

and looks horrible, but you put maple syrup on it, you don't even notice. They don't taste good? What's up? The balls? Nah. Cool.

Nah. It's better that way. Yeah. Yeah, for sure. Yeah, for sure. You put beaver there. Yeah, cut that out. Maple syrup.

Yeah, I'm full beaver right now. Dude, it's funny. I was going to, when you said it, I was like, I'll probably cut that out. But then now it's staying in, dude. I'm sorry. I'm just thinking of beavers. Dude, he's funny. I was going to, when you said it, I was like, I'll probably cut that out. But then now it's staying in, dude. I'm sorry. I'm just thinking of Bieber. Dude, he's so funny, man. LA, what's going on?

So funny. I'll just be like, hey, what's up, guys? That'd be cool. Yeah. And then do a sexy song. That's a fun juxtaposition. What's up, dudes? Thanks for coming out to my concert.

Crazy. It was like 30,000 people. I'm making a lot of money tonight. Okay. Read out the receipts. You're like, what's up, Los Angeles? 30,000 tickets sold at an average of $220 a ticket. I made $600,000 tonight, guys.

Thank you, everybody. Yeah. I'll be able to make my car payments yeah plural yeah i uh i uh yes i ate goat testicles and um uh it was epic i didn't feel any different but i'm fired up on it and it's nice to eat nut because they're obviously smaller than bull testicles yeah it makes primal sense like i could see like how eating animal balls or dick or like in like cannibal societies to eat other humans dick or balls you would feel like you're ingesting more power from that right like we we incubate so much out of there. It feels like it could transfer into us. Totally.

Dude, I mentioned this before too. I read that crazy book, T, about testosterone. And the way we discovered that testosterone moves through, I think it's our endocrine system and not our blood, is that this doctor took the nuts off chickens and then sewed them back into the stomach. And when he opened up the body he saw that the nut had attached to an organ and had started producing testosterone from there

oh so maybe it does work yeah so if you're eating those nuts i don't know if it goes specie to specie but i wouldn't bet against it nice you got that nut power right now, dude. Thanks, dude. Big nut. Dude, my legend of the week is Wood Harris. Oh, wait, do we do? Oh, I'm sorry. No, go ahead. No, you go.

Do yours and then I'll go. No, no, no. You already started. You already said yours. I'm good. I can cut it. We'll go back. Aaron, who's your legend of the week? My legend of the week is naan.

Dude. Indian bread. It's so good. It's so good. There's a place by me that does cheese non it's i just i should just order like nine of those nine orders of that some samosas call it a night so good non's the best is it the best bread? It's up there, for sure. I mean... It might be. Yeah, it's... Yeah.

It might be better than sourdough. It could be right there, yeah. Wow. That's crazy. I don't know if I've had bad naan. I've had bad sourdough. I've had bad sourdough, too. I've never had bad none right maybe that puts it

over the edge we might have to do a top three breads draft bread draft that could get wild who's getting sourdough that's probably going number one huh that's going well for me i didn't know what i'd pick after that should we just do our top three breads right now chad your first pick your your second, I'm third. Oh, shit. Speed round. We're going to go fast. Sourdough.

None. Multi-grain. Rye. Can I say a tortilla? No. Flour tortilla? No. I'll go whole wheat.

White. i'll go whole wheat white um jalapeno cheddar no because that's on top of a bread i think that's flavoring what are the other breads oh dude i don't know what the name is but it's sort of like a they serve it at like black angus uh it's like a whole wheat it's like the dark the dark yeah oh yeah i know the one you're talking about yeah they got that at cheesecake factory too yeah so good that shit's good yeah we'll just say that bread from black angus and cheesecake yeah the bread from black angus can i say a baguette? Yep. Nice. Dude, nice.

I was going to say baguette. Oh, now I'm all off. Focaccia. Nice. Focaccia's good. Guys, let us know who you think had the best bread list. That's going to be divisive. Dude, yeah.

I just learned how hard this is. Yeah, you tried to genre bend on your second pick, dude. Yeah. I mean, a tortilla. I got to stick to my to my roots you know you went way off with the tort dude because then if you say tortilla then i would say you know what maybe you can't see this i can't do these drafts are too complicated it's tough i say tortilla now suck it suck it dude you could win that draft though you had a good list um all right my legend of the week is

wood harris actor probably most known for julius campbell and remember the titans or avon barksdale on the wire i saw him in like a two second part in as good as it gets which is i'm talking about later and i was like dude that guy is such a good actor crushes it as avon barksdale if you re-watch the wire i think he stands out as the coolest best character and is incredible as julius campbell and totally different parts but he's just the man in both and i just love watching him act guy's a beast uh chad what's your quote of the week uh my quote of the week comes from liver king because i reached out to liver king right i tagged that i was eating goat nuts and uh he responded really and he goes goat nuts don't let perfect be the enemy of good

do what works for you remember the stronger the animal the greater the benefits this is why liver king prefers bull testicles keep dominating primal and then i was like good call liver king what do you think about brain devouring bovine brain has a lot of badass benefits reduces aspects of cellular atrophy degeneration decreases in tissue elasticity and other negative aspects associated with aging remember like supports like that's awesome dude that almost sounded like limp biscuit lyrics yeah i think that's where he gets his inspiration eron uh my quote of the week is from the song Integrity Blues by Jimmy World

I wish I could hold I wish I could touch but a fool just wants and wants and wants it's what you do when no one is there it's all what you do when no one cares I think that's some of our

writers, our emails, couldn't stand to know that. Cool. Yeah. Mike, what are the weakest from the movie as good as it gets?

Which is kind of a brutal watch now. Jack Nicholson is such an asshole in it. And it's really tonally uneven like a lot of James L. Brooks movies who I love. But there's some good parts.

Like Greg Kinnear does incredible work with his eyes. His eyes are totally different in that movie than any other movies. And then it's because he normally plays like smarmy dudes. And in this, he's like a real sensitive guy. And he really shows you that. But Cuba Gooding Jr. kind of overacts in it a bit too much. I think Jerry Maguire almost kind of ruined him. Really?

Because I think he overacted the fuck out of that movie. And he got, he was incredible and it was perfect. Yeah. And everyone was like, dude, you're the greatest. And from there he was like, okay, I'm just going that style for everything. Yeah. But Helen Hunt is talking to Jack Nicholson in it and he's a huge asshole and really rude and just says like awful things to people.

And then she's like, are you at all in control of how creepy you come across? I was like, that's an interesting question. Nice. Chad, what's your phrase of the week for getting after it? My phrase of the week for getting after it is. i got a terabyte fun in me and i'm ready to release it to the world that was dope i was looking at the memory

cards that was cool you should use that in your daily vocab. You like that? I got a terabyte of feelings right now. Yeah. I like that a lot. I got a terabyte of feelings right now. Bro, I just... I'm about to bust out of me.

I'm about to download that in your USB port, bro. Yeah. Bro, open up your USB port. I got a terabyte to give you. give you um aaron you got a phrase my phrase of the week is um what did beaver say when he first came out la what's going on my phrase of the week from getting after it is from the chicks formerly known as the dixie chicks you know everyone knows they got like publicly shamed for disrespecting george bush um at a time when our country was feeling pretty jingoistic and uh and then they made an album

about it and it was about how they felt getting like you know all this backlash it's called i'm not ready to make nice and has righteous anger in it. But the line I like the most is this is where it swells. It goes with no regrets. And I don't mind saying it's a sad, sad story when a mother will teach her daughter that she ought to hate a perfect stranger. And how in the world can the words that I said send somebody so over the

edge that they'd write me a letter Saying that I better shut up and sing or my life will be over and then the strings hit nice I think it might be the best 30 seconds in music history. I'm not ready to make nice. I'm not ready to back down Jim point at your point down And I can't keep Dude, it's so good. That song always Every time I'm driving out here, I just start fist pumping It's badass I remember when I named all the

Top Gun call signs a long time ago And there was one guy Named Chipper who I was like, he's married to somebody Famous. It's Natalie Maines Dude, nice. But they have since divorced Also a good Top gun call sign would be dixie chick yeah like dixie chick who's on your six i got two mugs i got two mugs yeah that might be my new gamer tag dixie chick dude nice i love that yeah that feels nice on me but yeah i love

my phrase of the week i wanted to have some righteous anger this week yeah dude you know um you know jason derulo starts every song like he's like jason derulo i would start my like wow wow wow wow wow yeah jibwell studios jibwa studio stand up yeah you'd be like it's that time jibwell that was a little fred dursty yeah i come out on stage jabow y'all jabow it'd be cool too if you only talked in words that you had made up yeah wow y'all like jabow schmole and energy all over me stoke time it was funny we were talking to we were talking to the city manager of san clemente this morning i think it's before he came on he's like he's like yeah man you guys spoke and what'd you guys refer that guy's house a schmole

i was like yeah man dude we should announce that. That also like, you know, sometimes with our activism, we don't get a conclusive result. Yeah. San Clemente City Council folk called us today for like a thing we might do with them to help the city. We might try and make helmets cool for youngsters. Maybe the toughest cause in history. Yeah. To make helmets cool. How do you do it?

We'll try. Yeah. But they go, hey, when you guys came in and spoke about the 16th hole we are gonna get that t-box back yeah we fixed it nice we fixed it they're gonna move the t-box back did it for those of you who don't know we we protested the city and said that they moved the uh the t-box without dude process chad's turn of phrase and now they're they're gonna bring it back how much of that credit do we deserve 100 100 also i woke up right before the zoom meeting or like two minutes into the zoom meeting and at the end the guy goes all right jt you can go back to sleep now

i know i started calling jt coming out i coming out I was like yeah I'm a morning person he's an evening person thank you for covering for me that's really nice of you my alarm didn't go off for whatever reason thank god I had my ringer on and then you called and I was like what did I sound like when I picked up hello oh

my alarm didn't go off oh I was in my boxers for that one i was like keep the camera up yeah just oh literally i'll hop on zoom sometimes we have morning ones literally i wake up like five minutes before i'm like what's up everybody how we doing today it's funny when people call you out they're like jt okay in there you're like oh yourT, you okay in there? And you're like, oh. Your face, sometimes I'll look at your face and be like. Dude, I was like that when we did Howard Stern.

Yeah. When we did it on the West Coast because we had to wake up at like four in the morning. Yeah. It's like when I watch my face on there, he's like, so guys, tell me about the small dong movement. And I'm like, yeah, we got little dicks. We got really little dicks. I got the littlest dick in the world man how small jt oh so small oh it's super small dude you're so laid back i'm like no dude i'm sleepy yeah i'm very very tired that's funny all right i think that's a good place to end it

on yeah for sure that was fun guys check out if you want bonus episodes, we got Patreon, patreon.com, go and do a challenge AT. And keep writing reviews. This helps out a ton. But most importantly, stay stoked. Thank you. I don't see. I don't see. I know, I know. I want to fly.

I want to fly. I'm Chad. What did you owe me for the week? I want to fly away. Shredder, what is your quarter league? Joe, what's your quarter league? Shad, what is your beef of the week? Aaron, who's your baby? Shredder, what is your quarter league? Joe, what's your quarter league? Shad, what is your beef of the week? Aaron, who's your baby? Shredder, what is your quarter league?

Joe, what's your quarter league? Shredder, what's your plan? Thank you. What is your name for the week? What is your name for the week? Thank you.