Going Deep with Chad and JT - EP 238 - Joe Marrese Joins

Episode Date: May 11, 2022

The big hog is back! We missed the shit out of him!    Get 20% Off and Free Shipping with the code [GODEEP] at Manscaped.com. That’s 20% off with free shipping at manscaped.com, and use code [GODEEP].     

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right let's start the show Is that a weed one? Mm-hmm. Nice. What kind of, what strain? Indica, sativa? Sativa. Oh, you want to get in your dome. Mostly more CBDd though than than a thc uh-huh interesting yeah

well let's whip out the hog and let's turn on npr what's up stokers of stoke nation this is chad kroger coming in with the going deep chat jt podcast me with my compadre sean thomas what up boom clap stokers and we are here with the return of the big hog himself, fresh in from Texas. Yeehaw, motherfuckers. It's Joe Morisi. What's up? Yeehaw, motherfuckers. I like that.

Yeah. Welcome back. Welcome back to you. Yeah. And to you guys. It's good to see you. I don't know. I'm just welcome back.

You're just polite. To me. You're just a courteous guy. Being here. here yeah how's it been being back in the sunshine state it's all right it's kind of it's weird now for me a little bit i just feel like uh because now i'm like an outsider what do you feel like an outsider a little bit i don't know it's like i you know i don't live here anymore so i feel like you're home i feel like you're on extended vacay it feels it feels okay well not i feel like i'm on vacay now what do you mean like in austin well being no being here that's yeah you're on vacation i i sort of feel like you went off to college and you're back on spring break a little bit yeah

what's up i mean i've been staying in santa monica so it's a little bit different yeah do you like santa monica yeah well yeah because my i met my friends i was hit i had his two bed two bath condo all to myself so that was cool hell yeah yeah you seem a little tight what's going on yeah i am tight my back my lower back is killing me i'm a little bit hung over i was partying with the audience members after the show yeah yeah it was fun they kept buying me beers and i drank all of them nice were they cool guys yeah they were really cool you guys had a good time one guy gave me a hundred dollars just because just because yeah i deserve

it you do you did a great set yeah it was fun drinking pacificos for sango de mayo oh yeah cinco de mayo was yesterday yeah man i haven't celebrated that since college like for real yeah i mean i i had a burrito last night though i guess it's celebrating yeah that counts it's dank it's carne asada yeah it was a good time you remember like when you found out cinco de mayo wasn't the mexican independence, it was a good time. You remember when you found out Cinco de Mayo wasn't the Mexican Independence Day? It was just a day they won a big battle against the French. What? Yeah.

Still cause for celebration. I didn't know that. I don't even know if they celebrated that much in Mexico. It's more of an American celebration. We just needed a May Day to get after it. There's always a reason to drink. Someone just scoped out the peripheral events and was like, got it. Yeah.

What? So. Did you get after it for St. Paddy's Day this year? Yeah, I did. I was with Strider. We were in Austin. Oh, that's right. He was out there.

We had a great week in Austin, us. Yeah, that was great. Yeah, I'm glad we did that pod. That was fun. It's out, right? On the Patreon? On the Patreon, yeah. Where's the video? I don't think they took video. us yeah that was great yeah i'm glad we did that pod that was fun it's out right on the patreon on the patreon yeah where's the video i don't think they took video what idiots you should tell them well yeah i mean i thought they were recording i requested video i think i'm pretty sure i did

yeah because that was a good time yeah that was fun austin's a great place yeah it's a good time it's chill it's a different lifestyle than out here yeah what's uh what's your day-to-day like there uh over there well i'm working a lot i'm doing the stupid valet and then uh i like to hear candid about it doing comedy what you're just like it's stupid well i have to do it right now record it's uh well yeah it's not a great job i'm not aspiring to do it it's like you know it's uh that'd be cool if you were aspiring to do it though and you just wanted to be like the best valet driver in the world yeah you could jiro dreams of sushi but just about park and whip i mean if they were to pay more like i like the hourly pay is garbage

we make some tips i'm not making strider level tips right but he's been in the game longer i guess but where's the valet at it's one of the hotels downtown i don't know if i'm supposed to say but and can you talk about your upcoming gig at the club uh yeah i don't know no but yeah i'm not yeah i don't know i don't know you're supposed to be working at rogan's club right when it opens yeah yeah why would you not be i don't know i don't know if you're what the dude well i guess i guess it is a d weird i guess i guess it is no knowledge that that is happening yeah okay so yeah so yeah that's like a few months away what's been i'm hoping what's been your favorite thing

in austin so far favorite thing in austin uh the man sounds like you love it well i'm sure things are cheaper i like that that. That is nice. Yeah. Yeah, drink. Like, how much were those drinks last night at the bar? Except for the rent that I was paying for my first six months there. Everything else was cheaper. Yeah, last night, no, it wasn't too bad, though.

Last night, the beers were like, I don't know. Everyone kept buying me beers. But I think they were like eight bucks. It's not bad. You're a good guy to buy beer for. Everyone kept buying me beers. But I think they were like $8. It's not bad. You're a good guy to buy beer for. Yeah, they kept coming. Do you chug or do you sip? No, I sip.

Yeah. Cooney, what's up, dude? Hey, you're on the podcast. Joe's here. Can you explain why you think Joe moved to Austin? He's got a theory? Yeah. Brennan's got a theory. I'm at work work right now but let me go in the phone booth yeah we're at work too this is brandon cooney guys very funny guy i'm really on the

podcast yeah it's live okay yeah i've been telling people i don't mention him by name but at mike's i've been saying that he moved to austin because he heard everything is bigger in texas and he's trying to find a condom that will fit his giant hog yeah i'm on the quest for that condom you haven't found it yet it's a good theory yeah it's uh yeah i think it's somewhere it's not in austin i think it's out in the uh more in the country somewhere yeah you'll probably have to go to a ranch right yeah like a bull cock he has to drive to the zoo to get conkers brendan thank you for telling us why joe actually moved i think that'll clear up a lot

of stuff for a lot of stokers hey listen anything for the stokers all right later brother all right brandon yeah i'm glad we got that cleared up yeah that was uh have you found that the dicks are bottled up in texas yeah i think yeah the dicks seem bigger yeah i think there's bigger bulges in the jeans that's fine i'm not looking though i'm not kevin do you like being amongst your kind by the schmole what do you like being amongst your kind yeah i i don't mind being in the company of fellow big dongs you know the the more the merrier do they not talk about it as much as we do yeah no they don't really talk about it but yeah because it's all i can think about. It's your big dick. Well, thank you.

Yeah, I'm glad to be occupying your brain space. What did you think about this Chappelle thing? Him getting tackled. Oh, he got tackled? You didn't hear about this? I didn't see the whole, I don't know the whole part. No, I didn't know that the guy actually got to him. Yeah, no, he made contact. He brought him to the ground chapelle did a good job of standing on his feet rogan did a good like mma breakdown of it but yeah he like he tried to kind of sprawl he

went backwards and then at the last second the guy finally brought his hands and went for the feet all right no i thought they got him like right before he got to him no he made contact and then and then and then he got stomped which was hilarious and then they're not gonna press charges on him that's not cool but kevin was saying they are pressing charges misdemeanor charges yeah it's four misdemeanors yeah well he should do some time is that what that means or no i was asking kevin i was like do you really do time for misdemeanors and he was like yeah you go to jail like the night of but it doesn't sound like it happens on the sentencing so no i think he might be done with all of his uh they're just letting him back on back out on the loose just and they said he can go back to whatever stand-up shows he wants to go to wow he says he's going to

amy schumer tonight so i'm going to protect her nice is that true no oh you don't follow him on instagram yeah he well he's got they break both his arms or something dude yeah that was i mean the whole the footage and stuff of them just stomping him in the back is the fun it's just so funny it's so funny i'm gonna go stomp this guy yeah i'm doing this 35 years i just stomped a dude backstage i've always wanted to do that he's like his hair was his hair was absorbent his hair was spongy absorbent a lot of respect to jamie foxx for getting up there too and protecting his wearing a cowboy hat too i loved it yeah it's having his boys back so ridiculous people say i guess it's public knowledge we

talked about this on striders podcast john stewart got in on this oh yeah you were saying he cracks me yeah that's pretty funny and i mean the photo of the guy with his arm going the wrong way he's just so fucked up he's just yeah someone did a meme of like mr potato head like when they're putting his arms on like all twisted up oh man it's so funny dude but you know does it worry you does it worry you for performers in the future that they're going to be attacked more do you think yeah i mean i think that's really ridiculous i mean people have to rooms in general have to be better at policing rooms like i'm noticing that in a lot of places like in yeah like even in like austin like there's no at the comedy store we were really good at that like anytime anybody talked out i would always go up to someone there needs to be better security in

rooms or whoever's working at whatever venue because comedy shows are at all kinds of different venues now whoever's running the show one of your main concerns or one of the things you have to pay attention to is policing the crowd just making sure everyone's acting you know respectfully our buddy tom whalen went viral because he got attacked in an open mic and he does muay thai so he beat the shit out of the guy yeah and they fought twice they fought once on the stage and then there's video of him outside like chatting about it and the guy bum rushes him again and tom like hip tosses him like just fucking ground and pounds his ass yeah yeah he got two beatings out of it well i guess i guess bill was saying at the golf tournament that he was at the bowl like the first night chapelle did it and they were talking about will smith backstage and he was like forget will smith

jim jeffries got punched in the face that's how jim jeffries kind of broke through and finished the set and so he was showing him that at the back and backstage at the hollywood bowl when was that three night look it was sunday night and he got punched wait jimmy jeffries no no no yeah i'm sorry yeah yeah i figured yeah he was showing the video there he was showing the video sunday night yeah and then he finished the set yeah i know a lot of people disagree with me too on my will smith take that it wasn't a big deal and that i guess i thought it was kind of funny but i do think they're different because to me the will smith one was like in-house those are like friends fighting that'd be like if you and me got into like an altercation yeah it's different when it's someone random like like you know the other guy's

not going to kill you i know i know if you and me got into a fight we're not fighting to the death but if you're some guy like the hollywood a stranger right that's like way a bridge too far yeah it was uh and he had a knife and a gun what was it yeah it was a knife like projectile fake gun yeah came out of the barrel it's like flipped up oh weird yeah that's weird how does that get in to the bowl yeah they melt detectors i don't know maybe he was using some kind of like i've seen in action movies like an executive decision if you make the gun out of the some kind of like... I've seen in action movies like an executive decision. If you make the gun out of the right kind of plastic, you're solid. Oh, okay.

It's like a... Yeah, maybe the knife was in the... It was in it, but it's still metal. Yeah, that should still be... I mean, my belt sets off the metal detectors all the time. Yeah, that should still set it off. Do vapes get set off in metal detectors? I don't think so.

They do? They do. I never know if I should take them out like when i go to forum or something yeah get rid of that shit i know i need to we got a lot of questions on it because chad's been fighting the good there's a lot of questions on people are talking about it dude oh no well you're vaping too are you trying to get him off i quit i'm three weeks off it's three weeks off dude yeah i never did it yeah it's don't start once you once you get those hooks in you it's it's just it's hard to leave it's hard to picture you vaping it would be hilarious yeah i haven't smoked anything in forever i i still drank a pretty good amount but i remember the last time you smoked weed yeah it was with you yeah yeah the stupid vape pens yeah you got baked god yeah my chest hurt do you smoke weed no it's been like seven years yeah i did like not not a ton but i i would do it

get high do comedy that's fun it never worked for me. I couldn't think. What were your thoughts? I don't know. I just was cloudy. No, if I would try to perform. Were they like actual clouds in your head? Yeah, it was cloudy. There was a storm going on. What would you say you think about the most?

Tits? That's a good question. Tits? And a good suggestion. No. A good amount. I don't know i think so i mean it's probably up there oh he said i thought he said not a good suggestion oh it's a good suggestion oh yeah no i want to say that usually a lot is uh the next meal yeah because i don't cook i don't cook either but i made a charcuterie board for a girl on saturday that was pretty big that was awesome with the salami rose in the middle oh that's cool well yeah that's just

putting something together that's like a puzzle it's it's cooking adjacent i had to shop food prep i was at the grocery store yeah it's food prep that was intense i didn't know when to let carts go i wasn't used to the protocol over there so would you say your thought process is maybe like like jokes tits food yeah it's a good top probably yeah because i'm always on probably a lot of people's topics still a lot on a lot of these dating apps how's that going it's all right yeah austin i i meet a lot more women there they're a lot easier to talk to you think so what why why why do you think they are uh because it's like how so i guess yeah they're just more down to earth over there it's north it's a little more yeah it's like a

regular place is it a noticeable difference like the social like socializing with people there versus la and yeah is it Yeah, everyone's friendlier. Yeah. I heard Rogan say that, though. Like, you know, he's basically, it redefined his concept of neighbors, Texas. Yeah, that's cool. I think, I wonder, too, like, when people in Austin meet, are they, like, thinking, like, oh, when they meet someone and you exchange a few nice pleasantries and you realize you're kind of on the same wavelength like are you thinking okay i'll hang out with this person later because like i feel like in la when you run

into someone you're never open to like actually hanging out with them yeah yeah they're trying to get out of potentially having to hang out with them yeah yeah that's uh yeah i think that's a thing the building that i'm currently in though is kind of weird it's too well i just moved out of it that one i didn't main reason i'm leaving it wasn't very neighborly and it was also way too expensive for me uh yeah it was like it was like a hotel so people weren't that friendly there i i was living in the most unfriendly place in austin but you're in a new place now yeah moving into it like a place like i used to live in out here just like two levels not a whole lot of units so i think it'll be more do you think maybe you perceive it as unfriendly because you miss living in la and you miss us you

just want to come home no it was it wasn't friendly because I would say hi to people and they would just have their AirPods in and walking their dogs, like all these hot chicks, always with the AirPods. Yeah, what is that? I don't know. I'm more of a cord guy anyways. Do you still have cords?

I still have cords. Cord guy? Yeah, I don't know. You don't like the cords? Not really. Just nowadays it looks weird. Like once you see cordless. It is sleeker.

Walking around with a house phone with a long cord in the kitchen like we used to have years ago. That was fun. Yeah, that was pretty fun. I would get twisted up. When you were in junior high, would you like talk on the phone all night with friends and stuff like that? A little bit. Maybe that was a big talker. Three that was a three-way call action yeah do some of that i used to call brennan figueroa this gal i was friends with like every day after school every day for like an hour just shoot the shit i i my brother would do that he he would call girls and talk i remember when he

first started getting interested in girls he'd call this girl like alexis or whatever he talked to her for like two hours and stuff and i was i remember as a kid i was like oh i want to do that yeah i never really did whoa yeah never really like i think i attempted it maybe a couple times i never really i like he's funny because like he's a little bit more kind of like i guess you could say less friendly than i am he's a sweet guy but i think a little more you know but i think he's more social which is interesting he wants to talk he just doesn't want to do it in like a group superficial setting he wants to really get in there with yeah like he he likes

to work out with friends i don't that's like a difference he likes to do things like that you love a solo workout you hit the ice bath today right at the ice yeah three minutes you have that in your garage oh yeah my den of pain the house of pain is that good for a lower back oh yeah get that inflammation right in there yeah i don't know i have this stupid lower back? Oh, yeah. Get that inflammation right in there. Yeah, I don't know why I have this stupid lower back thing going on. What's going on? I don't know. I think it was the bed I was sleeping in.

Yeah, what kind of... You seem like you'd be great. You know what else is good? These liver crisps for your lower back. Yeah, beef liver, dude. Raw. I don't want that. Get some.

Why do you have that? Try it. No. You've never had it. Why don't you try it? I don't want to have beef liver. I'm not into this carnivore shit. But how do you... Well, it's just a little had it why don't you try i don't want to have beef liver i'm not into this carnivore shit but how do you well it's just a little meat you don't have to cut out all the i just had a nice steak sandwich i don't see you're into the carnivore shit yeah that's well but not this just try you never had it yeah but i also had bread with it i

didn't just eat it like a dinosaur i had uh bread and fry because you guys with the carnivore you just eat the meat right you don't have yeah but i had it on a nice french roll with some uh horseradish but you know like we didn't domesticate wheat wheat domesticated us dude excellent point it did yeah. I'm not following, but I think you're right. But do you think bread was a good idea? Yeah, I like bread. Expand. Well, it tastes good. But what do you think about, don't you think it's lowered our performance as human beings?

Why do you think it's holding us down? I have a weak jaw. I think it's from fucking wheat bread. From bread? Yeah. Oh, like when you get that pain here? It's just it makes you like mushy mouthed right right yeah you're supposed to be eating things that are like like you're chewing off you can you can market anything is what cavemen did and people get on board we're very attracted to that caveman lifestyle yeah people like that primitive stuff.

But you could almost, like, what's a funny place you could take it? You could be like, this is a caveman ping pong. How's that work? It's the exact same. The paddle just looks like a rock. And the ball looks like an egg. Or like some guy jacked me that cavemen didn't use paddles. Use your hand. Use your hand.

It's better for you. It's better for. Use your hand. It's better for you. It's better for your hand-eye coordination. It's better for your hand toughness. Yeah. The fact that we use paddles, like, totally knocks off our sleep routines. Totally fucked up our shoulder ligaments. And we have no wrist power, which is actually really important. Our forearms have shrunk, like, times three.

Yeah, I'm just going to start marketing everything as caveman style. There's a lot of good stuff in this, huh? Yeah, that's why you eat it. Take some. No, I'm just going to start marketing everything as caveman style. There's a lot of good stuff in this, huh? Yeah, that's why you eat it. Take some. No, I'm all right. No, dude, you're going to eat some. No, I just brushed my teeth. You're right.

I'm sorry. Joe, you'd be a good caveman, I think. Oh, yeah, I'd be great. Big cock. That'd be huge. Hungry. Yeah, I'm hungry. Got a lot of hair on my body.

Would you talk about, like, the bears still? Yeah, I'm hungry. Got a lot of hair on my body. Would you talk about the bears still? Yeah, why not? But they'd be the real bears. Yeah. They'd be real bears. Yeah, actual grizzly bears. Dude, I was out surfing the day that dolphins surrounded me. It was like the coolest thing.

That's beautiful. Isn't that awesome? You must be emanating some good vibes. I think so. Or they're trying to rape me. Why the two? do that yeah they do yeah either way you're an attractive person dude are you for real right now i mean that how else would it why would else would the dolphins be around yeah i think they were trying to fuck me that's hot they just like hopping around and stuff yeah one of them like was like showing its blowhole nice little tea but she's like to you ever like do that like you start flirting with an animal like you'll see a dog and like you'll try to pet it'll walk away and you're like are you trying to

get away from me huh dude it was like it was like gaping its blowhole at me and i was just like stop and then it just goes like not to call you out but you have a girlfriend like did you tell kennedy i did text her about it yeah what'd she say she's like i'm proud of you for resisting that temptation she breathes like me and you guys have great open lines of communication yeah it's like this dolphin tried to fuck me but i said no i have a girlfriend to the dolphin enough of that i told you i have a girl it's pretty good dolphin you like that yeah I couldn't do that try we'll both try dolphin yeah yeah I think yeah there's some squeaking that's pretty good kind of sounds like a pig you know this good dolphin is harlan williams very good dolphin yeah i think he does

something like that how crazy is that horses respond to that there we go you do that to a horse yeah the kissing thing and they'll just take off yeah really are you doing a dolphin that's good oh yeah that's yeah you did a good harlan it was like impression from dumb and dumber yeah oh there we go oh yeah and he does that in uh something about mary too he drinks the pee a little bit he's in something about mary oh he has the best scene in the movie yeah he's a driver oh and he ben stiller picks him up he's like a hitchhiker yeah and he has this genius idea for a seven minute abs yeah oh yeah yeah he's like he's like you see eight minutes and then you see seven

minutes which one are you gonna go with yeah that's him and then ben stiller's like yeah but then i guess you're screwed though something comes up with six minute abs yeah and he just starts twitching yeah loses his mind stepping in my office why because you're fucking fired yeah that's a great line um as whale sounds in the down periscope saves the day oh that's right yeah i didn't see that one kelsey grammar oh yeah yeah i remember it like i want to re-watch that i never watched that as a kid and is it deborah messing is the gal i think it's lauren holly from speaking Dumb and Dumber Let's see Anyone want to place bets on this action? Damn

Always bet on her I'd say Lauren Holly Lauren Holly it is Always bet on her Hush darn it Yeah Oh William H. Macy too He's a beast

Steppenwolf Theater David Mamet and him go way back. Nice. Classic Chicago. Yeah, you're a Chicago guy. Yeah. So you appreciate the theater more than most? Yeah, I'm cool with it.

I never had any interest in doing any. Well, I did dinner theater. Yeah, you were a theater actor. Professional theater actor for a while. Yeah, I was a paid actor. But then you just said you had no interest. People made fun of it. Who made fun of it?

I don't know. Snobs that I went to school with at Columbia College in Chicago. Well, fuck them. They made fun of what? Because I did Tony and Tina's wedding. It was an Italian- american wedding theme show but it was a pay you know it was in the second city building that's cool piper's alley was the theater down in old town chicago in old town neighborhood of chicago and people like oh that's not real acting

because like we were learning about shakes Shakespeare in the acting program at Columbia. Can you do any Shakespeare? Which I quit, by the way. Can you do any Shakespeare? No, not really. And I was a genius. I was thinking about it today. Like, could I do Shakespeare?

Or would I be like Keanu Reeves in Much Ado About Nothing? Where you're like, this guy doesn't really fit you know are my eyes too hooded is my voice too bro i think you could do it let's try now i think i think yeah i think if you worked out you could do it you could get there for sure i think everyone's kind of goofy with shakespeare until you start doing it right full fathom five thy father lies of his bones are coral made those are pearls that were his eyes nothing of him doth fade but doth suffer a sea change into something rich and strange that was good dude it's pretty good yeah your turn it sounded a little contrived wait where are you where are you reading it from?

I was probably putting a bit too much on it. Oh, the Tempest quote? Yeah. Full fathom five thy father lies. Of his bones are coral made. Those are pearls that were his eyes. Nothing of him that doth fade. Both doth suffer a sea change into something rich and strange.

Dude, that doth was incredible. You put so much mustard on the doth. Yeah. Can you do some Hamlet? Yeah, that thing's drowning in mustard. To be or not to be, that is the question. Whether tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune or to take arms against a sea of troubles and by opposing end them to die to sleep no more

and by a sleep we say we end the heartache and the thousand natural shocks that flesh is heir to yeah tis a consummation devoutly to be wished to die to sleep to sleep perchance to dream a there's the rub for in that sleep of death what dreams may come when we have shuffled of this moral coil must give us pause there's the respect that makes calamity of so long life yes there's a lot more there it's uh that was really good we get it that was really good yeah i tried to give something could you imagine listening to two hours of that shit yeah it'd be pretty good that would be sick i'd like to see you in the shakespeare outfit with like your sword and stuff wouldn't need the codpiece i guess just a piece i don't think

i realized shakespeare came up with the phrase mortal coil did he yeah he's uh he's a genius my friend uh who you met in austin joe that guy is so smart were you guys talking weren't you guys talking about shakespeare a lot i think we covered the gamut of every thing human and yeah you guys have an opinion on everything i don't understand how people do that he was ripping dude i mean you got you guys yeah but you're the same way like people that just know something about everything how do you do that why don't you guys just relax or something you know shakespeare invented 1700 words i mean that's amazing be twixt do you guys think shakespeare was a singular person yes you do well I

just read one biography on him by Bill Bryson but we don't know much we don't even know how he spelled his name because back then people used to fuck up on purpose how they spelled their name because I was supposed to be cool it was almost doing like a P Diddy Puff Daddy Sean Combs thing like it was a cool to switch your name up that's always been cool wait there's a theory that was more people yeah Roland Emmerich's made a movie about it been cool wait there's a theory that was more people yeah roland emmerich made a movie about it i think oh yeah there's a bunch of ghosts that's a pretty cool do you think it's more people i honestly don't know i i like to think it was a singular person they did take huge chunks from each other like them and the other writers like they would just take whole

acts like put it in there because i think they had to churn out so much shit yeah i mean it is i mean when you when you read or when you read old books when you read like moby dick or you listen or you watch a shakespearean play the idea of that coming out of someone's head is is mind-blowing it's insane when you read i was reading moby dick and i was like someone fucking sat down and wrote this shit it's crazy that's why books are the craziest of all the art forms because you write a big ass book like you got to create an entire fucking universe yeah and that's why like dune and like fantasy stuff like that is so popular because you're just like dude someone just mapped all this shit out and it all makes sense like you can picture all of it yeah and it's like a whole detailed universe like yeah from harry potter to lord of

the rings all that stuff you're just like what the hell harry potter when i first read harry potter and i just knew it was like kind of popular i wasn't really in reading books you know it's probably like eight read harry potter the first one my mind. Because I could picture it all so clearly. I was like in that world. Yeah. And it just like, yeah, it was like nothing I'd ever experienced. That's cool. Ramin Nazir, you know the comedian, he draws really cool stuff.

He's really talented. Everyone should check him out. We were talking books one time and he was like, he's like the coolest part about reading like a great book is it takes 100 pages. And for those first 100 pages, you're kind of struggling. But then by like page 100, your brain clicks and you start thinking like the author yeah and then by the end of the book your brain's literally perceiving the world the way they do yeah it's like they it's insane that they can do that it's very like i don't know it's like intuitive but also meticulous at the same time which is a good combo yeah that's how i try to be with my love making intuitive but meticulous yeah for sure nice i like that do you uh

what i don't know i was ready for the question you did you were poised. You turned and looked. Do you dirty talk? Yeah, I'll do some dirty talking. But like literally dirty talk? Like you're like, your sink's a mess. Yeah. I had to get one Joe impression and I'm sorry. Clean your clothes off the ground.

No, but I'll say sexy things. Dude, I told a girl last time I was making love to hold me tight. A little rough. How'd she respond? A little rough. Hold me tight? A little rough. What a dork.

A little rough. How'd she respond? So she did in the moment, which was... Or she held you. Hold me, like, afterwards? That love, Jack. You mean, like, after? No, like, during. Hold tight how you then you can't move

i just wanted to like feel very like how you're supposed to gyrate it was do well i don't won't get too into the weeds on that but then well if you're getting held tight you can't really get anything moving i know what you mean i like feeling like i'm in a straight jacket that i have to break free from at all times but then afterwards we were just laying there talking hanging and she was like i liked it when you said hold me tight i should hold you tight i got so embarrassed i was bashful i was like i was like okay i don't remember saying that but like clearly i do i was like can we keep pushing well there's a really good Diplo song hold you tight well it's normal it's normal for it I think it's

more acceptable the other way for whatever reason yeah there's something anti-masculine about saying hold me tight well yeah cause it's almost like you're getting fucked right she's holding you tight yeah I don't know I think we're being too hard on JT here you think so I think if you're

outdoors and it's cold you tell a woman to hold you tight, that's a little weird. But when you're both nude and on top of each other, holding tight. And it wasn't the first time we've done it either. That's what you wanted to say. It was honest and truthful. I get in trouble, I think, when I'm too honest and truthful. I think you're being too hard on yourself about that.

About that in general? Yeah. Okay, that's nice. You think I should be more... You're embarrassed? Be yourself. It's just... But you're worried that...

I just think myself sometimes... It's too much? It depends what's motivating myself. If it's neediness that's motivating myself, don't be coming from that. Hold that back. That's just healthy restraint. If the thing that's motivating me is like a positive external thing like i'm all for it and i got a good stuff in that department but if it's like something where i'm like you know i feel scared and i just want to fuse with this person or something i don't know

if it was that dramatic it also just felt good but you know what i'm saying i gotta yeah some stuff but maybe you're right maybe you just gotta well i mean you got to be yourself at some point i mean i've been thinking about that i mean you seem to always be yourself though you're yeah yeah i can't really help it yeah you too though man you're like 100 joe all the time i try yeah i try to be dude you know what's funny because you met her yesterday yeah every girl i've ever introduced to joe and actually this is a positive thing but it won't sound that way every time afterwards i go i don't think joe likes me and then but then yeah i get

that a lot and then they go but they go but i want him to like me and that that's what makes me think hey you know what work for it honey uh no i i'm not i don't do it on purpose that's just i'm not i'm i'm probably all time top five worst impression first impression no guy worst. No, but everyone likes you. On women, I would say. No, every woman likes you. Oh, but I give up a rough. Kenny thinks you're like the funniest dude of all time.

Yeah, Rachel Hall like loves you to death. I mean, funny, yeah. And these are people who just met you is why I bring them up. But I don't know. I feel like with, I mean, I obviously come off kind of rough. People like that though. Oh, yeah. Who likes that? I like it off kind of rough. People like that though. Oh yeah. Who likes that?

I like it. You're a badass. Everyone likes it. That's why I liked living with you because I had a badass in the other room. Remember when I'd have panic attacks and you go, what do you want me to do about it? Go to bed. I mean, I think it was more. I needed that.

I was more sensitive about it. No. Well, the thing with you, you never sounded like you were in panic that was the thing you know i'm sure you always kind of second we're second guessing yourself in the moment it was more anxiety i guess you'd always be like uh you were very chill about telling me that's what i think you know i never picked up on like a frantic vibe no i'm good about that like when i have meltdowns i'll people would be like you sound pretty normal yeah you did you would you'd be like yeah you'd wake me up you're almost like politely like hey joe uh how's it going uh i think i might need to go to the hospital uh i'm having a panic attack like you'd

say it very calm so it wasn't very convincing dude that's the socal though bro you put an erotic person in soca like when i'm just gonna build up a chill. Like when I had a bad panic attack, I had to have a friend take me to the hospital because I thought I was having a heart attack. I've been there. But I haven't had one in a while, dude. I've been cooking lately. Yeah, I don't have one anymore. I can't because my body knows that it's not real. So there's a point of if i get real stressed and anxious

i'll get tightness in the chest and then it just stops at that and then i breathe and yeah you're not dude you're gonna live to be like 150 i don't know and your crankiness level at 150 is gonna break the i mean if stress shortens lifespans then then I might be in trouble. I think that's a big lie. I don't think stress shortens lifespans. I don't know. I hope not. Dude, are you on a porch at like 100 years old with your big cock hanging just ready to pop something? Gravity is going to have that thing like an inch above the floor by the way.

Dude, yeah. Ready to pop some kids like basketball with like a screwdriver if they come on your lawn. Yeah, you're going to be Gran Torino, dude. Man, I'd love to have a lawn someday. You're going to have a lawn. I want to cut it. You're going to have a big lawn. You're going to be grand terreno, dude. Man, I'd love to have a lawn someday. You're going to have a lawn. I want to cut it. You're going to have a big lawn. You're going to have like, dude, Pelazon.

With a Toro mower. Pelazon's got a yard now. Where's he? He's in COC? He just moved. He got a new place. Congrats, Joe. It's beautiful.

And I had to cut this out of a podcast because they hadn't closed on the house yet, so I didn't want to put bad juju out there. But they got the house for less than someone else offered because the guy liked him and his lady so much. guys are good people oh that's nice always in the cover letter it's cool and then joe's been doing our peloton's been doing the lawn with a non like horsepower push mower a push mower and he said he says everyone just drives mine he's like i guess they're not used to seeing someone do the lawn that way so he's really he's setting the tempo

in the neighborhood wait you're saying that wait there's no motor on it even no motor it's one of the old ones straight up old school just oh damn metal yeah what's that's weird kind of it's quiet it's good workout yeah i get yeah it's true but i would i'd at least get the motor one for sure you'll have the motor one electric yeah you could i see you on a riding one yeah joe hey how you doing you're like hey yeah it'd be fun yeah if you can set a beer down a little cup holder that'd be great man i would love to be your neighbor a little high life just walking outside and you're mowing your lawn next door fuck that'd be cool oh what a dream that would be.

You better be wearing a wife beater, dude. Yeah, sure. Joey, when are you going to move back for real? To Los Angeles? Yeah. Not now. Damn. You're playing tough, dude.

He keeps trying to convince me. I'm not now. I don't want to now. It's not going to happen now. I don't want to. I don't rule out anything. I may come back. anything. I'll come. I may come back.

Why you got to come so heavy on it? I mean, I would like to be able to be in multiple places. That'll happen. I just, I just, I just miss you. And I'm just like, I know I'm pushing your heart on it, but I respect the decisions you made. I respect that you went to Austin. Yeah. I like that you're out there.

I like that you were strong in your choice, but I just feel like you're an LA guy. Like, I mean, I thought so too. I don don't know coming back here has been kind of weird i don't like i'm in the old neighborhood and it feels weird to me how so i don't it just seems like like being on our old street where we used to live i drove down it yesterday just to see what i would feel and it kind of just like it's it's weird that i like this area was like home okay because i feel like this there's just too much going on here i don't think this area is a good place to live it is hectic yeah i mean i should have i mean i don't know i if i were to do it again out here i wouldn't live in hollywood where would you live

do you think i mean i wanted to live redondo when i first got back into town after being in chicago for most of 2020 i tried to live in the south i tried to live in manhattan or hermosa i wanted to be on the beach and it didn't work out because i didn't have it. I was still on unemployment at the time. So they said, oh, if you don't have a job, we can't give you a thing. Well, you guys shut down the state. So let me know when it opens and I'll get a fucking job. You know what I mean? Get a job.

But, oh, you can't go to work. So what is that? You know what I mean? Yeah, I hear you. So they wouldn't rent to me idiots but do you do you feel i understand that do you do you feel uh do you feel like it's a little bit back to the old la now that covid stuff is really yeah it feels a little looser here yeah it's good to see a lot of yeah i mean the traffic is back it's horrendous yeah it's the best right amir was

driving me from uh pick me up in santa monica and just the 10 10 freeway man back to the old jam just chilling in traffic it is a lot of traffic here but you know what you roll down the windows you open the sunroof put on a little duncan chic barely breathing little eagle eye cherry saved a night little wall flowers one headlight yeah and dude all of a sudden i was i was doing that today and i had dudes hitting me with these chakas guy two guys in a truck next to me big old 18 wheeler we're like yeah bro i was like yeah dude nice but yeah maybe the valley's where it's at too aaron's up there yeah kevin's up there now some softball joe yeah we played softball up there yeah i missed the softball team dude that was fun have you seen my stories uh yeah with leo

hitting the ball oh no i haven't you got like shots of him crushing it oh yeah no i haven't seen that you said it was the farthest you've ever seen one hit right potentially and you guys got second place well this is in the last league this is the preseason is he playing who is that guy yeah that's leo man smashed it he went to ucla and played baseball yeah okay well see guys like that i don't want to play against he's a good guy though i mean that's too good yeah was it a texting break what's up guys i'm interrupting this podcast letting you know that we got a patreon out bonus episodes each week classic challenge at episodes if you want that bonus content each week and to help us reach our goal of 750 patrons so that we can do a draft episode with a fat case race um

then get on the patreon become a patron and and you're going to enjoy bonus content. It's sick. Also, we have tour dates coming up. Where are we going? We're going to Tempe, Arizona tomorrow. We're going to Grand Rapids, Michigan, Detroit, Michigan. We're going to Arlington, Virginia, Washington, D.C. area. We're going to Houston.

We're going to Dallas. We're going to these places, and you can get your tickets at chatandjt.com. We're also brought to you by the legends at Manscapedcape thank you so much for keeping our trims p for looking after our hogs for making sure their dinks are looking fresh and clean because manscape has the best products on the planet for your pubes okay if you're not man guys they have revolution revolutionized my manscaping game i just have the the Lawn Mower 4.0. I have this Weed Whacker ear and nose hair trimmer.

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hope people listen to it and enjoy it i thought it was a lot of fun you're in the zone okay tahoe snowboard bros banging my babe hola playboys super stoked to write in but writing in a bummer tone my college sweetheart who i've been going steady with for five years left the midwest to head to lake tahoe to work on a ski resort this past ski season my chick is super fun cute outgoing and sick on a snowboard big problem here she's so sick She started hanging with the cool ripper dudes. I'm talking the long hair, goggle tan, baggy snow fit, cool ripper dudes. And I'm pretty sure they've taken a liking to my girl dudes. She was supposed to head back after the ski season was over, but decided to get a summer job and stick around. Oh, fuck, dude.

Fuck. oh fuck dude fuck we don't talk like we used to and i've only been to visit once in which she claimed everyone was out of town when we went to the resort she was like the mayor of all the dudes were flirting in front of me dudes savant's a stoke with her sticking around this summer i'm starting to get bummed out i need some advice should i confront her stay cool or go detective mode i might not like what i find any advice is appreciated love you all brother i i feel pain in my stomach i think you got to break up with her and she's going to be happy and we're happy for her we're happy for her she's where she's supposed to be maybe you're not where you're supposed to be right now and i don't think wherever you're going she should come along i think you gotta you're on a personal journey

she's she seems like she found a cool place which sucks for you but you're gonna find a cool place and i think uh i'm not i'm not saying i'm being a little willy-nilly you don't have to like you know call her and break up with her but i don't know i think i'd start mentally preparing for a life without this person yeah Yeah. I think when you, I mean, it's, I've been in that situation before where it's, you know,

there's, there's distance and it's not the same way it used to be. And you're just sort of like, what's going on here kind of thing. And it's like, you know, uh, yeah,

I hate to break it to you, man, but it doesn't sound good. And I really feel for you, but yeah, break it to you, man, but it doesn't sound good, and I really feel for you. But, you know. But I hope I'm wrong. We could be wrong. It could be all good, and it could be in his head.

We don't know. But based off what I'm hearing, her staying for the summer, you know? Yeah, I'm going to be walking around in a bikini now, and they're going to be watching her. Jesus Christ. In Utah? Like Tahoe. Like Tahoe. Summer, yeahoe summer yeah yeah for sure you think she looks good i yeah i would imagine if they're flirting with her now i mean and you probably maybe you'll never be king snowboarder guy you

know like the type that she might be into but you're the king of something go pursue that and just focus on that and through that something good will come and if this relationship doesn't work out i think it's all you know and i and i've found to be true in my life and for a lot of people that i know it things happen for a reason you know so if if this relationship doesn't work out then it didn't happen didn't sorry i'm just i'm in so much pain for you wasn't meant to be uh wasn't meant to be happened for a reason and you're gonna find something much better for you and much more meaningful and much danker that'll make you much happier so i'm sorry you're going through that man that's that's a tough spot to be in and I wish you nothing but stoke and steak, baby.

Yeah. And take solace in the fact that if she does end up dating one of those snowboard dudes, they break bones all the time. She's going to have to bring them soup and tending to them and stuff. At the end of the day, he's probably a much more reliable dude. 100%. So it's like, yeah, lifties are are fun for summer but you don't want to be with you know no offense to lifties no some of them are great guys and they are super dependable

but yeah i'm picturing these dudes as the other type yeah as the as the type that's you know not not wanting to stay in like a monogamous relationship that'll turn to something a little bit more fruitful i guess and i understand why people want to pursue those types you know the searchers the ones who are out there for the the the adrenaline and for and for the extremes of human uh like behavior and activity and and lifestyle but you know maybe when you break up with her you send her the doc the alpinist on netflix where she a lady in that dates that kind of guy and then in the end he fucking dies in a snowstorm dude dude yes dude send her the alpinist and send her um free solo because you can see how much of a dick he is to his girlfriend yeah she drops him and he's like i might have to drop her yeah it's pretty hilarious when he's talking about he's like i had to decide in that moment did i want to

be with her or did i want to be better at climbing and i liked her a lot so i stayed with her i was like nice nice very clear very direct um just what do you think break it off shake it yeah i mean it sounds like she's kind of going down a new path and uh and yeah i think it's time to for him, uh, going down a new path as well. Sup Stokers. Boom. Clap. Best intro ever. I have a female best friend.

She's a very dramatic human. Every day she has a new disease and is very much glass half empty gal. We were tearing up racquetball last week with a squad and she got hit in the eye and went down when they said they were going to the hospital. I said, she's dramatic. She's not talking to me. She's also basically blind in that eye wait what's going on he was playing racquetball with his friend and i guess she complains a lot and she got cracked in

the eye and said she had to go to the hospital and he said she was being dramatic and now she's i don't think he hit her um oh he said she was being dramatic yeah after she got hit wanting to go to the hospital and then now she's not talking to him and she's also basically blind in that eye i don't know if as a result of the hit but i'm gonna assume that's what he means yeah i think that's what he means and how do i mend friendship also how do i counter thoughts of not wanting to be alive? Whoa, man. Was that... I think that I'm going to... That's pretty serious, the last thing. I'm assuming it's connected to the thing before,

like he feels so bad that he's having those thoughts. Yeah. Well, the suicide thing, I've been there before. I think the most important thing to remember is it passes. And actually, the fact that you get used to hearing those thoughts for a little bit, in the long run, they will reappear or they can, especially if you just have an anxious brain. For me, it might be different for you. And then when you see it again, you're like, oh, I remember that. That's just because I feel too much of this.

And you can just kind of you realize your thoughts aren't you. And you can just let them kind of roll by. But I'm very sorry to show them. But okay, like, what about this friendship? How do we mend the friendship? I would just give a really remorseful apology. Some flowers? I'd send some flowers.

You just have to try your best and apologize. And that's all you can do on your end just be sincere and genuine in the apology because yeah obviously if she's really hurt of course he didn't want her to be hurt you just thought maybe it was another thing because you're used to her complaining about stuff but since she's really hurt then yeah then just see like hey i just you know i'm really sorry and how does that be genuine how does somebody who's that much of a hypochondriac not wear safety equipment i don't know i feel like you that goes to tear it with yeah with racquetball yeah where's goggles at least yeah i got stitches from

racquetball i mean that's a close space you're playing and it's it's it's pretty uh you're pretty wacky in there um yeah but i agree with you just be really sincere apology acts of service dude i think just uh doing nice things for this person over time and showing them that you care well and and then time's the other big thing time will uh make it better yeah agreed i think yeah i almost said heal all wounds yeah just a massive apology i think do things like don't flowers is visual so i say do things like make her a meal a really nice meal or a mixtape that'd be nice you know things that are different senses i was thinking that she has to tighten because sorry i'm just no no keep going yeah get specific yeah air and eat world um dude i do i do think it's a

bummer we can't like burn cds for people Oh, that was cool. Yeah, I loved that. CDs are fun. DVDs are fun. Blockbuster was fun. Yeah, Blockbuster was great. It was great. That was like a night out in itself. It was like one of the best parts of the process or the ritual of watching movies was fun.

Yeah, I loved it a lot. Man. And everyone having to agree on a movie. Yeah, and going to the different sections. go into the different sections you'd have like steven seagal when harry met sally and then like you know the american president you'd be like what are we vibing with and then the popular movies would have like eight tapes behind them yeah yeah they were the fat ones fat yeah it's like 10 tapes you guys remember renting video games and having like three days to just crush oh yeah yeah that was another thing i love the olympic ones yeah just being nagano just freaking flipping on the bars i remember just renting video

games and not having any instruction manual to come with it oh yeah just being completely lost some games just did not work you would not figure them out over the three days you bring it back and then some friend at school be like that's the best game ever and you're like no dude it's impossible t2 on nintendo with pokemon i couldn't figure out i tried to play pokemon on game boy i was like i don't know what i'm doing here maybe i just need to give it more time it's fun it's very but you're right it's very immersive like you there's a lot of steps to it yeah i just remember like walking i'm like how do i how do i get pikachu yeah you can't punch and kick with your guy you're just you go into like a little simulated match and throws out your it's all button clicking like selections i mean um what up pot i'm high as a giraffe right now a practicing doctor an

internet guy is gonna fight some youtuber have the fight doctor on your pod he beats people up and then heals them what the fuck is going on here what a time to be alive please have the fight doctor on your show dude good call that's a yeah have them on guys that's a great email i think uh send this to the doctors yeah i don't know what this guy's even talking about um this is a long ass one you guys ready yeah yeah what up dudes just wanted to say when i need advice you guys are really nice sorry Sorry for the long email. Here's the situation. I'm 22 and recently moved from North Carolina out to Utah for college. And while I had

a few loose connections here, it was mainly just me and my older brother who just graduated college. I hit the ground running in classes, the gym, dating apps, and trying to make friends. Very quickly, I met this super cute and fun gal, and we quickly hit it off. Things escalated very quickly, and she wanted me to meet all her friends, parents, siblings, etc.

Which I was actually stoked on, because I really felt a connection to her. After a few months, she was dropping hints at things like moving in together, life in the future, marriage, having a family, etc. I should mention that Mormon culture is like that so it's less weird here. Anyways, we were talking and taking one thing step at a time when she suddenly she just gets really distant calls me and breaks up i was obviously really hurt and confused since she seemed into me and was showing me off to her family and stuff but after a week i called her to get some kind of explanation we had a long talk and she basically said she had a lot of anxiety and felt boxed in so a reminder that i was okay to take things slow and she was the one saying all the serious stuff so we got back together for about 10 days then boom same thing dumped again i am

definitely more anxiously attached in relationships so getting played with like this is really hard the last time we talked i basically told her how she hurt me and i didn't want to be friends even though she wanted to and that was that cool uh any advice or counsel be greatly appreciated he says he has three dates lined up with some cool girls in the near future and he's hanging out more with his friends and his brother i think he's doing exactly what he needs to be doing and he's starting a new job next week yeah yeah cutting it off you know telling her that she heard him getting out there getting those dates hanging out with your squad hanging out with your brother doing what you want to do live in your life and moving forward because that's all you can do move forward and things will get better my friend you will get tanner and you will get more jacked mentally physically

and spiritually agreed yeah go to wise guys comedy club i hear it's really good oh no oh yeah Oh, nice. Oh, yeah. Fun night out. That's a pizza place too, right? Good fellas? No. Wise guys? My father's? It might wear here. I think I remember. Probably is.

What's up, Lords of Stoke? I tore my ACL playing football and got surgery about two months ago. Sorry about that, man. Good luck in your recovery. Since then, I've been going to a rehab place. While there, I met this super hot chick. She had also tore her ACL and we were doing the same exercise. Oh, it's hot. That's hot.

We have texted and flirted a little bit, but I want to ask this absolute babe out. Any tips? Oh, yeah. Just go for it. Let's go. What are we talking about here? I know. This is crazy.

Man, that's a great way to meet somebody. I mean, I'm sorry that you guys got hurt, but, you know, that's, man, it seems like that's it right there. Yeah. Seize the moment. Heal together. My old golf coach from high school keeps emailing me. I'm now 22.

What do I do? Thank grace. Oh, she said PSJT. I am single and think you're perfect. That's nice. Oh, man. Oh, it's a girl. the guy keeps emailing her i think she's got a creepy coach bro you can hit block on the phone yeah just ignore don't don't even engage just ignore we've all seen it the youngest teacher

and then once you graduate a couple years out they come up to you at like a dueling piano bar and they're like hey i'm not your teacher anymore and you're like no you don't understand it's a fixed position you are teacher forever that job never ends yeah you are always maestro and there are responsibilities with that so no you cannot bone your former students no he keeps emailing or messaging yeah yeah just ignore ignore them yeah do not yeah email is easy to ignore you can block you forward them to joe's email and then joe will respond yeah what do you want yeah i'll take care of it um joe joe you could send a photo back of you in a cowboy hat hey it's grace what's up yeah it's always just weird if it's a former teacher like even if the age gap is like normalized you know like if he's like 26 and she's 22 it's still weird you're just like yeah but you like knew them

when they were young it's like yeah you kind of yeah the only time someone's gotten away with that in my book was tristan and legends of the fall when brad pitt ends up marrying the uh the girl who worked at his place maybe a little sabrina in the harrison ford movie but those are movies um should we keep pushing yeah kevin texted me he knows i'm doing the pot he said are you gonna talk about your dick he sounds excited i guess we already did yeah at least we know kevin's smiling right now yeah chad my dog who's your beef of the week my beef of the week is this guy this fucking personal trainer uh instagram personal trainer nutrition guy jacob zemair um trying to take down liver king oh i've been seeing this dude i just want to say dude like first let's hear what this fucking chach has to say the liver king is not a human being it is a marketing agency a bunch of

marketing execs got together in a room and said How do we make a lot of money? They went and found this guy the actor who plays liver king and then they created a problem that only they could solve What's the problem the liver king hunts on an ancestral burial ground that allows him to eat raw organs Which makes him Jack now you have a problem with your nine-to-five and your three kids You can't go hunt on an ancestral burial ground so now they solved that problem they created which is beef liver enzymes and sending you raw organs it's all right jacob zemair you fucking chotch and i'm looking into the camera because i'm looking at you first off liver king has been

living this lifestyle for probably about eight to ten years okay he got on instagram begrudgingly because he felt he had to spread his message and he's not just about eating raw meat that's a part of it but he's all about working hard meeting your edge and breaking through that edge waking up getting sunlight on the eyes and face, grounding to the earth, getting in touch with your primal self so you can become your best self and breaking through and not becoming some weak-ass, you know, modern douche like you, Jacob Zemir. You're not even that jacked and you're a personal trainer? Fuck out of here, okay?

I don't need your shit. Do not try to take down liver king ever again or i'm gonna beef with you again on another week on this podcast suck it yeah don't you don't want to be a double beef that's right um joe serino what is it what's your beef of the week oh uh my beef of the week was with my airpods that suddenly went out when i was when i was on the plane very convenient when i needed them the most i haven't charged them in forever. You close the box and it charges themselves usually. I haven't used the actual plug to charge them in months. And they decided to go out on my flight here. So I had to watch The Big Lebowski in silence.

But you know what? I still laughed out loud. Still funny. It speaks to film as a visual medium. And not many people move the camera or edit it together better than the Cullens. Aaron, who's your Beef of the Week? My Beef of the Week is with arugula. Sorry. Oh, I love this.

Arugula. Yeah. Yeah, let's hear it. We already have lettuce. So fuck off. Whoa. I don't need anything else in my sandwich. I don't know if it's like a cilantro thing where some people don't like the taste of it.

I like cilantro. Arugula just tastes like horseshit to me. Get out of my sandwiches. You're ruining deli sandwiches. Go away. Lettuce is better. We already have the job covered. Yeah, I don't mind that at all, Aaron.

Arugula on a deli sandwich yeah no thanks yeah i'm i'm on i'm on that i'm with that i gotta say i do enjoy an arugula salad but on a sandwich total agreement i can't even tell what i feel what him saying the arugula salad thing i mean arugula salad's okay i like it mixed with other greens as well but yeah i'm not complete anti-arugula but i am i certainly don't like it on pizzas like some some some of those make your own pizza they'll get out throw pounds of it on top what do we yeah get out of here that's offensive basler go home yeah fuck off um my beef of the week is with cbd we did that's right i don't we did someone's podcast and he was like

yo you got to check out this cbd i smoke weed i do mushrooms you know i'm i've been on those rides before so i'm like okay i can handle cbd because everyone generally says it if it does have a positive effect it's kind of hard to notice and it's more subtle. It's not like psychoactive. Right. It's not supposed to make you crazy. I take two pills of CBD. 20 minutes later, we're leaving the place.

I'm like, hey, man, I feel a little weird, right? I'm like, I think the CBD is rocking me. But I didn't know if it was just like kind of trying to relate to someone. So I was kind of, you know, making it happen like a little bit of a, what's that called again? Psychosomatic. Yeah, psychosomatic. Get home. Dude, one of the most intense disassociating highs in my life i was so anxious

my brain goes into slow motion sometimes i guess it's normal people have anxiety everything just sounds like it's moving super slow every voice has a weird cadence that sounds super robotic even music when i listen to it like that it sounds crazy and uh my brain was doing that but my brain goes really fast when it's going it feels like there's like a treadmill doing like 15 miles an hour in here or doing 100 miles an hour in here but the rest of the world's like stuck in like uh quicksand so it's really weird but it was all cbd that did that to me it fucked me up i was like really anxious and stressed for hours i don't think i'm meant to be that chill me up i was like really anxious and stressed for hours i don't think i'm meant to be that chill it did not work for me and then but it did i went and worked out with it and my joints felt amazing

so the cbd was really good for that that's good yeah yeah i remember we were walking to our cars and your car was this way and you start walking this way and i'm like where are you going you're like my car and i was like your car's Yeah, I was pretty jacked up, dude. That CBD really torqued me. CBD, dude, secretly kind of fucked. The stuff, the former sponsor you guys had, like the salve, really works good on me. Yeah?

Yeah. Nice. I use it on my throwing arm all the time. Rub on? Uh-huh, yeah. Nice. Joe. Or no, Chadad who's your babe of the week uh my babe of the week this is gonna sound vain and it is but you know i just gotta give him a shout out it's my calves yeah um you know i displayed them on the internet on monday at our golf tournament not

specifically but they were on display because i was wearing shorts and you know people were talking about them everyone's talking about them they love them and i just gotta give them props you know it's you know it's um i work hard at it you know i do lots of sprints i think a lot of yoga that contributes to my calf definition, you know, I'm proud of them. And I think, you know, when people tell you that you should be proud of something about yourself, be proud of it. And I'm proud of my calves. I think they're fire. And I think they'd make Johnny Drama, you know, question himself.

Dude, big ups to you for speaking from the heart. Yeah, you got nice calves thanks thanks guys it's cool that is cool appreciate it guys thank you joe who's your babe of the week uh it's the guy last night that i was hanging out with after the show a fan that gave me uh a hundred dollars in cash uh and calling me a genius of comedy that feels that felt really good and uh yeah i enjoyed we were having some good laughs he kept buying beers and he's like uh just give me the money he's like man you deserve it and it felt nice that's cool yeah it was really cool and then also the other fans that i hung out with after the show

that uh we did a little venice bar hopping it was nice to it was it was good company you had a great set man thanks a lot man yeah you guys did too the last night was great i was better the first oh yeah maybe the first night for you but i But the first night was tough for a lot of us. But, yeah, I think you did great. I think you guys, the first night was great. But last night seemed better overall. Yeah, I think more people had good sex last night. Yeah.

I think Candy thinks you're the funniest, dude. Nice. Rachel thinks that, too, yeah. Everyone who meets you thinks you're hilarious. Like, can I if she has any friends she does yeah yeah are they in austin or newport if you want to go to newport all right you love newport yeah i i would live in newport you should come for fourth of july yeah that would be fun why are you smiling like that you look i don't know i like newport i like it are you excited no fair enough yes you are maybe i don't know if i can make for the july why you're gonna fly into john wayne don't do this you're coming you know you're gonna make excuses yeah you know

you're coming why are you going if you go yeah I don't know I'll wingman you you just date women from Newport Beach huh you just taking over that town

that surprises you that's my thing with the guy no I I love it I'm jealous he's the king of Newport yeah it's awesome

thank you yeah for sure I'll take all the huntington chicks dude nice dude smokes with strong hearts strong strong hearts ventricles just pumping dude yeah that would be cool to be able to know see in different towns and you're like you go like go to huntington like people hunting like the others joe king huntington yeah just whipping out that hog he's probably gonna slay like eight chicks here tonight hell yeah be fun as is the king's right bro yeah the king dog yeah let's go there's joe and all linen in like a booth just aaron who's your baby the week my baby of the week is a is a show on netflix called

uh murderville oh yeah starring will arnett as like a broke down detective terry what's his name terry like terry winters no not terry oh shit what is his name it's a funny name yeah let me look at that yeah but it's just it's just really it's a terry seattle terry seattle yeah it's a great name oh yeah it's a cool name but there's a murder every week and he gets a new partner every week and his partner it's it's loosely scripted it feels like but it's also improv and the partner is just a guest star like it's conan o'brien it's kumail it's marshall lynch really yeah and they just they have to improvise you know whatever whatever scene they put get put in front of them it's really really funny hell yeah that's good shit yeah that's cool

what was your favorite episode probably the Kumail one I think I had a lot of guest stars in it Jay Larson's in one episode too oh cool very funny guy um my baby of the week is I heard about this Louis CK

did a podcast with Shane Gill gillis where they just went through all the presidents and those guys like know so much about history it was really informative which was cool but this was my favorite thing that they talked about is this president henry harrison i guess when he got into office he was like old as fuck and everyone was kind of disrespecting him saying he was old which he knows something that circles back i guess in time and uh so to prove to everyone that he wasn't like an old weakling he did the longest inaugural address in history but it was a bitterly cold march morning i guess it was like raining like crazy and he was like no i got to do this so he went on for an hour and 45 minutes at the end of the day he died from pneumonia

the guy went out on his shield you know i'm big on this now i like that he went down swinging a lot of people would have said it wasn't that day but yeah right um a lot of people would have said like you know no don't do that it's too big of a risk but you don't get to be there without taking risks you know what i mean yeah sometimes you got to be dumb and let a motherfucker know i'm gonna motherfuckers actually my quote of the week too that's probably why i just said it but you gotta let a motherfucker know that you're tough as shit 105 minutes speech dude yeah that's awesome chad who's your legend that's awesome um my legend of the week is you know sadly the ellen show is coming to an end. And I think it's, I don't know if I have paid homage to it on the show before.

Maybe I have, but I think it's, you know, I got to pay homage to it again. It's the Ellen show lighting. You know, if you watch the Ellen show, if you've seen us in our segment on the Ellen show, you can clearly see that they've got fire lighting i mean we've never looked better we really lit up i didn't know it was the lighting and then you told me and i was like he gets it dude i mean if you if you're looking for a tv set whenever you go on tv to accentuate your bronze, it's the Ellen Show lighting. I want to find the guy who does the lighting there and be like, what is your secret?

Because you know how to enhance a bronze. And they just make you pop. And I love it. And I'm really going to miss that lighting. That was great. Joe, Legend of the Week. Oh, Legend of the Week, that's you,'s you man jt you got me out here this weekend hang with the fellas and uh it was a last minute thing i wasn't expecting to be out here

oh this this wasn't planned no not at all oh that's cool we did it on monday really yeah whoa that's awesome yeah thanks to him he he took care of it got me out here and to hang and do the shows and yeah it's cool yeah because i haven't been here in six months so it's good to be hanging with the boys yeah i might have to skip the line on you here and because you're my legend of the week oh nice yeah you're my legend it's always just the best to see you i always feel at home with you and uh yeah it's it's a bummer that you're not here all the time but also it does make it when we do see each other it's like it's extra and i'm seeing you guys you know i saw you last month then i'll do those texas shows with

you guys next month oh that's right yeah so that's coming up quick also you know that's right around the corner hell yeah brother um love you dog yeah i love you too man but like i like love you more all right i'll let you have it no come on come on yeah i love you more most do you want to kiss chad that was a great kissy face yeah why are you like he was ready you were so poised because i want it whoa nice that was cool to the camera thanks aaron who's your legend of the week my legend of the week is um i mentioned these guys before they have a podcast called jimmy eat pod uh they go through a jimmy world song a week and they're coming towards the end they're about 40 episodes away so they got about a year um with probably a new album coming out so but they went 132 episodes

and they finally got jim on oh really oh? Oh, nice. That's huge, yeah. Yeah, that's awesome. And he reached out to them, so it's also, like, he's also a legend for, like, I mean, I'm sure these guys don't have, I don't know what their listenership is, but I'm sure it's not huge. It's very specific and niche, what they do. So for him to be like,

yeah, I've been meaning to get into contact with you guys and come on your show, it's like amazing. Yeah, it's awesome. Yeah, he probably thought that was, like like really awesome that they're doing that. Yeah. Never listened to an episode, but he was on one. So that's cool.

Oh, he said he, how could you, I mean, they do like three hours on one song. Wow. Yeah. That's a deep dive.

Yeah. That's a deep dive. Yeah. Chad, what's your It's a deep dive. Yeah, it's a deep dive. Yeah. Chad, what's your quote of the week? My quote of the week comes from Joe at the show. Just one of the best declarative statements I've heard. What? Biggest cock in the room.

Yeah. Yeah, to complete silence. That must feel incredible to just tell 120 people you got the biggest cock in the room yeah i mean i meant it as just be stunned yeah i mean yeah well the confidence you had you just said it you know i think some people would try to say that and then if it was met with silence they'd be like ah just kidding but you just plow through because you know it's true well i i don't know that it's true it's meant to be funny i mean because cory had referenced it and he brought me up on stage so i just kind of was piggybacking on that and then uh yeah i had a comedy show

when i say something into a microphone it's meant to be funny because clearly in a room full of 150 people i don't know if i have the biggest cock in the room so you know dude so the intent is comedy so but hey you never you never know people don't get it it's fine i thought it was great yeah i think we all thought it was great i think the crowd loved it. But it's just not something, you're not going to hear that and just like, well, Chad did die laughing. But I think it's like he was like, I think the crowd was more like he's like, yeah, biggest cock in the room. And they all just nodded.

That's what I think too. I think they liked it. But it's not something that you're going to be like, ha ha to. You're going to be more like respect. Like he's here. Thank you. Thank you for telling us who ha to. You're going to be more like respect. Like he's here. Thank you. Thank you for telling us who you are. And we will now act accordingly with great deference and fear.

Yeah. Over the master cedar. Aaron, what's your quote? Or Joe, what's your quote of the week? Oh, yeah. I have a quote of the week from uh from last night as well from uh so there was a girl there who was like

i don't know if you knew this but she was kind of like our bodyguard this this woman that was working there at the shows and she comes up to me she was getting tired and i didn't even know that she was like watching us oh like the whole time you were partying yeah out of out of the last two it was just you and me of the performers there and she comes up to me and she just goes uh you know i can't leave until you leave i'm like what and i was just like what and she's like yeah i'm i'm protecting the talent and i was just like you can get out of here i'm fine and she's like no i'll get in trouble and

then i immediately grabbed uh my good friends that i met 10 minutes ago and uh went to the next bar dude you guys looked like you were having a fucking blast and when you guys dipped out it was they were everyone's like yeah yeah it was a party yeah it was like a movie it was going off guys were having a good time hell yeah they're all like manhattan beach locals too some of the coolest people in the world yeah aaron who's your lead or what's your quote of the week sorry my brain's all fried my quote of the week is people say nothing is impossible but i do nothing every day a milne who wrote winnie the pooh oh nice oh winnie the pooh guy uh i guess tyson fury might retire the heavyweight boxing champion of the world who has a tremendous personality to go along with being yeah one of the greatest heavyweights of all time he's like 6'9 270 kg as shit now he has like way more knockout power than

he used to and he puts people away and it'll be a shame if he's gone because he brings a lot of entertainment to fights but he had this amazing quote he goes it's never been about money to me i know a lot of people with big money but none of them are happy i know money can't make happiness not even been about belts for me never been about legacy it's not been about anything but punching a motherfucker's face right in on the night that's all it's ever been about yeah fuck man chad what's your phrase that we're forgetting after it uh i've got a big cock and i'm hungry sorry what is it sorry um i've got a big cock and i'm hungry nice who says that you as a caveman fuck yeah that's cool what's your uh what's your uh sorry no like with like a Flintstones one piece on him.

Yeah. He's just digging below the thing. I got a big cock and I'm hungry. I love that. Yeah, that's my phrase for getting after it. Holding like a club. I've got a big cock and I'm hungry. Ring tone.

Joe, what's your wait hold on hold on got a big cock and I'm hungry I love your laugh when we were performing on the shows i could hear you backstage yeah that was hilarious laughing like a hyena you're so funny man well yeah i yeah i i don't get distracted by it it's just funny that because i when i know someone's laugh it makes me laugh yeah you can picture them yeah aaron what's your face if you're going after

it i i can't top i've got a big dick and i'm hungry i just can't yeah that's pretty good yeah maybe i'll just piggyback off that then i'll just say i got a big cock and i'm satisfied nice yeah bring it to a conclusion all right well dude joe so nice having you man good to see you having in la brother yeah it was great being on. Yeah, I was a little tense at the beginning because there's a lot of running around. A lot of running around today. I had to change here. Yeah, you brushed your teeth.

Yeah, I didn't even brush my teeth yet today. I just walked by, Joe's brushing his teeth. Well, no one's on a schedule out here. I forgot that. Everyone's doing lunch at 3 p.m. I'm used to getting up early again. I don't even know what that means yeah i mean i get up i get up early every day now so let's go but yeah thanks for having me on guys it's

great being back and i'll be i'll be back again yeah good to see you love you joe yeah love you Alright To have the birds beside you Go and see Go and see Let's go deep Go and see Cat and game Deep