Going Deep with Chad and JT - EP 240 - Strider Wilson and Chris Parr Join (Animal Draft)

Episode Date: May 25, 2022

Stokers! This week we're drafting our top animals!    Get 20% Off and Free Shipping with the code [GODEEP] at Manscaped.com. That’s 20% off with free shipping at manscaped.com, and use code [GODEEP].       Helix is offering up to 200 dollars off all mattress orders AND two free pillows for our listeners at HelixSleep.com/GODEEP

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what's up stokers of stoke nation this is Chad Kroger coming in with the going deep Chad JT podcast I'm here with my compadre Jean Thomas what up boom clap stokers we are here with the the Tyrion of tongue darts oh i think we had tongue dart

you know why you know why because he's very good at manipulating his way into doing the tongue dart oh right you know every situation you find yourself in ends with a tongue dart he's a lannister yeah and i pay my debts i say look, look, if you give me this, I'll dart you later. Right. And I will always dart. Exactly. Yes, yes. And you fell in love with a hooker

who fucked your dad. Yes, very true. Very true. And I also killed my father while he was on the throne taking a shit. Dude. Yes.

I mean, the reference is kind of- There are brave women over there. Help me go dart them. Let's go dart them. Who will dart her? I will lead will dart her I will lead the dart I will lead the dart and we're here with the the

the composer of ceremonies I don't know dude but you're good at partying and you're good at having parties and you're good at fostering the rage. So I think that works. 100%.

Yeah. There we go. We're here with Aaron, call sign Dode. Did we land on that? Chad's been hurling some call signs at Aaron that Aaron has not been keen on. We did not land on Dode.

The text thread has been mixed. Yeah, yeah. Call sign hot take. Hot take's good. We'll be like, when are we recording the pod? 4, 3.30, Chad's like, dode. Tank tickler. Well, it's funny because I think Chad genuinely doesn't mean it as an insult.

Like to Chad, it's the highest compliment. True. But you might be the only one who feels that way. But you're like, what if we name you ass picker? I don't know if that's... I'm callsign Cumshot. I'm on board. I'm on board.

Yeah, callsign Gooch. That is sick. It is sick. All right, dudes, we're here for a reason. We're drafting, right? And we got a real curveball of a draft today. We're doing animals. Our top four animals.

Let's go. On this thing we call Earth. We had to put in some parameters late in the game. No extinct animals. Now be honest with me, Strider. Whole list gone. I'm excited to see how you bend this one. I want to see where you go.

I was already looking at it. I was like, is an insect an animal? And it is kingdom. It's like kingdom order class phylum. And it's like kingdom is animalia. I was like, is an insect an animal? And it is kingdom. It's like kingdom order class phylum. And it's like kingdom is animalia. Yeah. So an insect is an animal. I was like, does that count an arachnid?

So that's not bending. No, that's way within the- An arachnid. Ooh. Yeah. That is way within the proper taxonomy. Am I going to get weird and go, ooh, an amoeba or mitochondria, you know, like a DNA ribosome cesspool that all life is created from?

No, no, no, no. You're going to go created from the first cell i'm not doing that i'm very much going to be down the middle sick i'm going to try to did you guys do some research oh yeah oh yeah yeah bro i crushed fucking documentaries dude on animals and shit dude i used to watch that shit so yeah me neither i didn't do anything exactly that's all in my dome literally if you look at my phone right now i just like i literally googled sick animals and i just saw a lot of sick dogs yeah you're like dog cat frog exactly all right well let's get into it then should we uh wait wait wait first should we talk about the parameters like what are they oh so no extinct animals we want to get like to species so i think if and i might be using these words incorrectly but like we don't want to do like uh like you can't just say like big cats or like greater apes or something right that's too many

no like let's get a little more specific but you don't have to say like a highland you know uh animal versus like a lowland and i don't even want to mention the animal because i don't want to for sure for sure tip anyone's pick but but i think we're all kind of on the same page like you can't say big cats because there's a lot of sick different you gotta be specific you can't just say shark you gotta pick right the type yeah yeah yeah and and then i look there's a million like subdivisions within that and we're not coming at it from that technical perspective but i do think you will if you get hyper specific with your pick i do think that boosts your pick right you know what i mean

specificity is always great right and you could have a whole shark draft but that's not this draft so we will reward intelligence and and specificity but that is not uh it's not mandatory for each yes okay odds odds are evens or what is that what's this? Yeah. Okay ready one two three For fuck thank God. I want that one odds are evens one two three We're gonna be sick I look into the guy's eyes All right, here we go rock paper scissors shoot. We've been doing this for years, so you know the drill. Yeah. Dude, you are so ready.

You are so poised. You are a big cat right now. All right, rock, paper, scissors, shoot. Oh, number one pick. You got the number one pick. That's a lot of pressure, dude. Actually, I kind of don't want the number one pick. Yeah, it's a lot of pressure, dude. I'm on your shoulder.

But I know what my number one pick is, and I don't think anybody else would have taken a number one, but I'm doing a number one. My number one pick is the killer whale. Nice. All right. That's pretty cool. Here's the thing. I need someone tough up top.

I need someone to protect the rest of my quartet. Killer whales, orcas, vicious hunters, and they've actually collaborated with humans in hunting. and they've actually collaborated with humans in hunting. There's a story about a New Zealand pod of whales and I think the guy's name was Old Tommy was the name of the whale. He used to drive other whales into a pod, go alert the humans. They would come in, kill them

and they would divvy up the results. And I think they always gave the tongue to Tom. That's what he was into. And then some hunter fucked it up, took Tom's teeth out and he ended up dying from not being able to eat some fucking jackal schmoll always fucks up a good totally but it's one of the few examples of you know human animal collaboration on that level that fires me up they have language they have culture they have family another thing i care

about pop culture pop cultural impact uh blackfish one of the most affecting documentaries oh yeah i mean we all saw it you came at that thing feeling pretty fucking bummed fuck and you were pretty fired up that that one whale tilikum made like 50 fucking baby whales what a lot of potent fuck that guy was and then um free willie yeah true bummer of a movie but a great ending but then i mean come on dude yeah amazing and yeah great song out of it and i i like the human animal uh uh relation i like that they're somewhat domesticated but i like that you can never fully domesticate them yeah like you can put them in the tank you can have them do the show but once in a while they might rear up and pin you to the bottom of the pool and murder you yeah and i kind of think i'm like that so uh that's a

beautiful first pick talk about the demented who saw killer whales the apex predator of the ocean by the way which is sick for you uh be like we need to put these in pools people need to see these things jump where does that come from i do respect it but it is unreal yeah it's like what humans are like how do we dominate this thing? Yeah. Yeah. Check this shit out. It's because they're so fucking smart.

They are very smart. They're technically dolphins. And they're porpoises. Yeah. Dolphins and whales are technically part of the porpoise family. They bone for pleasure. Yeah. And they're not technically whales, which is interesting.

So I'm super psyched to have killer. I think they're beautiful creatures too, just aesthetically. Love the the way they look and i think they are the king of the osh i think they fuck up uh they fuck up sharks right yeah so they flip them backwards they they put they go swim under them and up sharks don't like they can breach and shit but they they never can like do they're gonna change yeah like whales can yeah killer whales kind of play with their prey too like you've seen that video of one flipping up a seal like a hundred feet into the air he's just fucking around yeah all these all the animals i pick torture other animals yeah um sadists because they're the big bullies on campus and you know i'm stoked on that pick and i'm stoked on having orcas nice oh i think it might be yeah interesting chad and my brother might be inverted yeah i went last i think i'm a last top gun style all right call son dude

uh first pick my favorite animal the grizzly bear yeah dude great pick dude i didn't even think about they're fucking huge they're fast they got claws they also got the snout they can swim they can climb they can do it all but they're also adorable yeah i mean like if if i got caught out looking at one i'm scared but like seeing pictures of them or like they're like it's their back on trees you know what i mean like they look cuddly so often but they're also like freaking killing machines and that's awesome ferocious creatures yeah and they represent our great state yeah's go. That's the grizzly? Yeah.

It's a brown bear. It's a brown bear. But a grizzly bear is a brown bear. It's just the biggest one. Oh, okay. Yeah. But I don't know if it's a grizzly, but maybe it is. Oh.

But I'd like to imagine that's the reality that we live in. It should be a grizzly. Fuck yeah. It should fucking be a grizzly. Yeah. If they don't do grizzly, then we fucked up. Also, good pop culture influence? Smokey? No. Oh, the Grizzlies? No.

What are you talking about? The movie that you always do the quote from. Oh. I'm going to kill the motherfucker. The Edge, dude. Great fucking... Tony Hopkins, Alec Baldwin, baby. And a Grizzly. Wake up. Yeah, you're on Sudafed, right? I not get that? And a grizzly. Wake up. Yeah, wake up.

You're on Sudafed, right? I am on Sudafed. I have sinusitis right now. I got it from partying in the desert in Arizona with the boys. And also a good doc. Grizzly man. Oh, yeah. That wacko dude.

Sorry, dude, to speak ill of the dead. Spoiler alert. He's friends with grizzlies. He goes up there. He sometimes smacks them in the face when they steal his stuff. And then he made the mistake of bringing a girl up there with him who was on her period because the papers killed him because of that it's pretty crazy he blames it on her i hope that doesn't come across as misogynistic that's what i read but uh i guess you know

animals they're aware of that stuff and it threw them off and they ended up uh that's nature yeah they killed them they hibernate too which means they get really fat before they take a huge nap which is awesome and there's even like um in a national park they like they'll do a contest where they like track how how how much these uh grizzlies pack on and they do it as like a contest like you can like bet on which which grizzly is going to they do it as like a contest like you can like bet on which which grizzly is going to gain the most weight and which one's going to be the the the uh king or queen of just like the biggest weight gain before they take fat naps and that's great content that i love and it's just another reason why they're the best also

our friend brandy who dated our friend wyatt her mom was twice attacked by grizzlies survived both attacks really yeah twice attack she went camping bear came up on her i've told this story it's one of my favorite stories she played dead i guess when a grizzly you're playing dead with it it doesn't just walk away it like fucks with you a little bit so it batted her around she was okay had some cuts and stuff. Lady's a champ. She goes camping again. She's out there. Grizzly comes upon her. She knows the drill.

She plays dead. Bear beats her around a bit. She survived. Jesus, dude. This ain't my first rodeo. I don't know what to do here. The bear just rolled up and she's like, fuck. Round two.

Was it the same Grizz? We don't know. What's up, up bro she still camps which is insane but very cool you must love it shit good pick me yep well dude very excited that this is still available i love them the king of the jungle the lion whoa big cat let's go yeah can't go wrong look like a lion. I love lions. And not, you know, some might say it's like a pick. I'm just picking.

No, I love lions. I'm not just picking lions just to pick lions. I fucking love. Name three of their songs. Three of their songs? Circle of Light. Yeah. Can you feel the love tonight?

Can you feel the love tonight? Yeah, I was like, can you feel the love tonight? I can't wait to pick. I can't. God. Sorry. Damn it. I think we're going to in it. I can't wait. God, sorry. I didn't think you were going to get it. This is team effort.

This is team effort. No, no, I slipped in there. Yeah. No, I slipped in there. Fuck! This is my pick. Boo-boo by me. What's the Jeremy Irons one, though?

Oh, yeah, when he's Scar. Be prepared. Be prepared. Okay. He doesn't sing that one. He doesn't doesn't oh it sounds just like saying donny osmond or something really he matches the voice from winnie the pooh saying yeah because i was listening to that song i dude i listen to the lion king soundtrack a lot it's the best circle of life oh it's amazing if you're on the treadmill Circle of Life, you're going to finish your sprint. Yeah. But, yeah, I mean, Jeremy, I just sounds just like him.

That's cool. Anyways. What's that? My buddy's father. Really? He seems like a cool dude. Is he cool? Sure.

Nice. Okay. Moving forward. The king of the jungle the only one of the only mammals that really lives in squads they have squads um yeah i really liked that about him when i was reading about him yeah that they're like collaborative yeah they're collaborative they work together uh the main is a sign of dominance and they're just majestic beasts they're so they're they make me happy so thank you lions i love that dude dean schneider who's formerly on the pod he just posts videos of him like snuggling with lions i'm like that is the most amazing thing i've ever seen

if i could do that that's all i want to do and their claws are retractable right which is like that with a lot of claws cats. It's pretty sweet. Yeah. Also, I have a very funny Dean Schneider story that I was laughing about with you on our road trip. Dean Schneider, I think he'd only done one podcast before ours. And he meant this innocently, but it's hilarious. He goes, the guy's like, what's interesting about working with lions? He's like, it's all amazing.

But, you know, this one guy commented on my video and said it was gay to work with lions I don't understand it's like the least gay thing in the world I don't know where I think that's coming from on that one, but I enjoy the argument. Dude, that's gay. It's the least gay thing you can do. It's the opposite of gay. Yeah. That's so funny.

Strider, who's your pick? All right, number one pick. I get two. You get two. Exactly. Back to back. So my first pick, I guess, is going to be the Wolverine. It's a sick ass animal.

It's an underdog. It's ferocious. It can be like a couple feet long and maybe weigh like 60 pounds. It's been known to take down moose. This fucking thing is a beast. The sickest X-Men is named after it. He's our favorite character. So it's got a pop culture check.

It's fucking tons of high school mascots i get it because they're beasts and they're fucking cool their furs are legit sadly they were hunted you know the 1800s and shit like that uh it's a solitary animal so it's literally just built to fucking survive dude and just be tough as nails it's just like basically like every every estranged uncle or something like that that just is like, I feel like mountain men base their personas on these things. They just fucking go around, take out big ass things. They're fucking

just industrious little fuckers that are super chill. They've got claws. We've all seen, I don't want to, actually, I don't want to reference that video because someone might pick it, but yeah, dude, just badass undersized underdog animals out there just giving it a go just survivalists hell yeah so fucking pretty fucking sick dude i love it yeah who's up next brother up next i'm going with oh fuck this is debate

because then i lose one i I'm going to go with... I know where you're going. Yeah. No, I do, brother. Brother, I see it. A T-Rex. No, I'm kidding. Fuck, dude.

Going back to back is tough because I like to think about it and debate and see what happens. We already blew it with Wolverine. No, no. Wolverine's a sick-ass animal, dude. It's a sick-ass animal. I know how to make Aaron Kareem, no. Wolverine's a sick ass animal. It's a sick ass. I know how to make Aaron cream, dude. I know what he wants and I could make Aaron cream

right now. Make him cream. Make him cream. That's the name of the game. Or save the cream. All right. Maybe I'll just make Aaron cream right now. I'm going to go with, no, I don't want to do it. Make him cream. Are you in your head right now? I'm always in your head right now? The suit of Fed is hurting you do yeah, it hasn't kicked in yet, but you're also playing antics a Wolverine is sick as fuck Dude, it's sick as fuck. Dude. It's a good third pick. It's a good. Yeah, that's true. No, no, no I love your pick and I support it. Thank you. Chad and Lyon is a great chat too. And I support that he's trying to win All right. He's just trying to push you into more bad You saw me go with I'm gonna go and I support that. He's trying to win. All right. He's just trying to push you into more bad choices.

I'm going to go with I'm going to go with a jaguar, dude. Nice, dude. Nice. But I want I love the jaguar, dude. It's got tons of mysticism around it,

especially the black jaguar, but I'll pick all jaguars. I don't want to get too genre bendy here, but it's a big cat. You got to have a predator and it's fucking sick. They're super rare to see. If you see one, you know, can be lucky from that psychotic Mel Gibson movie, Apocalypto. He calls himself Jaguar paw, which is legit. Um, when I'm nutting, in fact, that's what I say when I nut, I say, I am Jaguar paw. Um, so I think that's a sick ass fucking animal, dude.

I've seen them drag caimans out of the water, diving into the water and pulling a caiman, which is a smaller size crocodile out of the water with its jaw. So they're jacked and they're fucking fast and they're sleek and they're magnificent. And you have to have a magnificent animal on your list. I think that clip, excuse me, has got to be one of the coolest nature doc ones of the jaguar just diving, like jumping out and snatching it by the head. Yes. It's so cool.

It's so sick. So sick. And they can like drag up to like a 500 pound animal up a tree, right? Yeah. And like climb straight up vertically a tree like with its claws. Like pound for pound, they're the strongest of the big cats. They're so sleek. They just look sexy.

And you know what? I'll say that. It's sexy. It is. It's like a great 147-pound boxer. Right. Fast, strong, fluid. A luxurious car is named after it.

Jaguar. Trademark. Jaguar. Trademark sort of a, what would you call it? Not a roar, like a meow. Yeah, it's like, meow.

Yeah, they would do that at the end of the commercials. Yeah. Meow. Dude, you hear that in the jungle? You're going to pop a boner. Cover your nuts, Clay, because you're going to get dominated.

Yeah. Not later, dude. Dude, yeah. I don't even want to deal with that. I'm just going to, yeah. Arguably the sexiest animal jaguar

claw or like jaguar pea cologne is the reference that in Anchorman so a pop culture check yeah so yeah

that's a sexy sexy animal the jaguar nice dude yeah good pick yeah great pick

thank you yeah these are solid thank you thank you yeah when your list comes around I'm gonna hammer your killer whale letter. Don't worry, I'm going to hammer it.

I'm going to hammer it. You didn't like the killer whale pick? Just get ready. Oh, no, it's a great pick. You got to do it. You got to do it. You have to pick it. Now he's got me on skates.

You're sneaky, bro. No, this is full sincerity because I'm being the good guy. I love your picks. Thank you. And how do you not? That's political. It's not political. It's political because I'm creating good karma for myself as a picker that's fair it lines the king of the jungle to great thank you dude seems a little manipulative to karma

it looks it looks like it looks like you know john abender and i are on the yeah yeah i don't know, dude. Chad and I might trade picks, dude, later on. Oh, yeah. That could be pretty sick. Somebody actually asked me if we're allowed to do that. I was soliciting some advice for animal picks. Yeah, me too. Nice.

And yeah, they were like, are you allowed to trade? Wow. That would make things really interesting. Very long, too. Oh, yeah. 45 minutes of us trying to work out a deal. Six-hour animal draft pod. My turn?

Do I get two or one? One. I still don't understand this thing. Thank you, Aaron. All right. You know, I was going to go with a predictable one, but it came into my mind later, and I was like, no, I got gotta go with my gut

something that i actually truly adore something that i love dolphins nice nice protector my i feel like my protector whenever i go out surfing i see dolphins often it's the best part of my day whenever i see dolphins i'm like today's gonna be a good day dude i was in the i was in the water like two weeks ago and they're like dolphins just surrounding me surfing in the waves amazing they're your buddies out there and when they're dolphins out there you know there aren't any sharks nearby so it's it's double and i'm just like man if i see dolphins i'm having a good day cute as fuck they can live up to 50 years they're in pods mm-hmm what up so are we you know smart as fuck cute as fuck they're your buddies they got big-ass foreheads they might do they

try to fuck you fuck you I think that's a plus yeah it's a plus dude all my that's very positive the way I said they do try to fuck you and i'm fired up on it and i know call sign dote is too sorry dude you made call sign cream you got flipper sorry call cream is good okay yeah cream your shorts he doesn't seem that stoned on it yeah you're right i think the aaron cam will know what call sign yeah'll find it. I'll stop with the dough, though. Sorry. They also make that cute sound. You know that they're having fun.

Yeah. It's a beautiful noise. Harley Williams does a good impersonation of them. And when they're just riding waves like on a boat. They're so majestic. Yeah, it looks like they're living for bliss. Don't they feel like you're angels in the water? If you're on the boat and they're with you, you're like, oh, I've got some angels. We've got some protectors. And I feel like they're doing that because they're like this is sick yeah they ride

waves they're having fun for just to like this is fun they enjoy a good barrel they'll help hurt dolphins like if one's hurting the pod they'll help get them up to or her up above the the water yeah to catch a breath and we love hanging out on the pod they hang out in pods exactly oh dude that's fucking sick exactly yeah and good pop culture and you can there was a time before the doc the cove came out about them we're like dude i petted a dolphin one time i did the dolphin thing yeah dude you have like a five day just like grace to you after that where you're just like the world's a beautiful place and everything is like so lovely and just connected so there's something about their their face it's i think it's very angelic when you look at it you're he's just like when you smile back and it's flippered dude

flipper it's because they have that like yeah they look like they have a smile which in the dark they're like it's like the greatest lie they're like we think they're fine but they're not because they just look like they're the joker smile yeah exactly uh i'm gonna go with dogs huge huge man's best friend fucking love dogs huge got a dog they're chill they can help you hunt. Or they can just be so tiny that they go in a purse or a little bag. Maybe I should get more specific, but if you guys are cool with me just doing dogs, they're the best. I don't think I need to even elaborate too much because everyone knows the dog's rule.

It's the best. Yeah. They're fucking the shit, dude. Yeah. Is there a specific breed that you would like to uh emphasize i guess like probably yellow lab dude nice you know man's golden because they should i'm kidding i'm kidding i mean like um no yellow labs are great we grew up for that later later. We had a lab growing up. That was just my politics.

Labs are great dogs. Did you have a golden growing up or something? Always had goldens in my family. What kind of dog do you currently have? Little rescue mutt, dude. Yeah, that's the worst dog for sure. It's the worst kind of dog to have. 100%.

Dude, I think I'm going to get a golden. Your dog is half golden that you have right now, isn't it? No, it's half lab, bro. Is it really? Yeah. Labradoodle. I thought it was a gold doodle. No, it's a labradoodle.

Me and my wife, we both grew up with labs. Which the inventor of the labradoodle, the one who first cross-pollinated those two breeds, said it was the greatest mistake of his life. He called it an abomination. Why did he do that? Because they're so energetic. Yeah. That's why?

Like the 80s. Because they're annoying? They're just... Yeah. But yours is super well-gave. Yeah, I don't think they're annoying. No, it's a great dog. He was like...

He just came to despise what he created. He was just trying to make a hypoallergenic dog for people. You know, that happens too. Like Noble, when he created black powder, the guy who invented the atom bomb regretted it. Oppenheimer, I think the lady who was like responsible for like Roe v. Wade, she ended up flipping the other way and going pro-life.

Whoa. Dogs can always win me over i find like i tend to prefer goldens because i like hot dogs you know like i just like but you know small you're a good looking dog too thank you labs goldens those are my preferred but like small dogs i'm all i've always been kind of like small dog comes in i'm like whatever dude but then they win me over i'm like dude i fuck if i spend time with them i'm like i fucking love this dog so i think they just have that special ability do you know puppy eyes is a genetic survival trait for dogs because they are okay being fed by humans so

that's literally a survival tactic so look cute so they'll get fed brilliant i mean is there a better dogs are so evolution than that to look cuter dude and the fact that you can breed dogs so quickly like genetically they're pretty amazing like you can like combine two dogs and create a new like this lab or not the lab with a golden doodle like in a generation it's really impressive so that's why my pick is based off that kind of uh specie connection it's the rabbi deer half rabbit half deer no i'm kidding i love that bending dude i wish you would do it i was like fuck it's like a trick you do i used to have one you get like a taxidermied rabbit and has horns on it people are like what is that and then you go it's a rabbi deer in the winter uh deers can't

tell the difference with a rabbit in the snow and they fuck and it makes a rabbi deer. But it's not real as far as I know. But it's a fun trick to play on people. A jackalope, that's the other nickname. Dudes, I'm cocky as shit right now. I think I'm going to take this draft. I got two picks here. I don't think so.

I'm going to hammer your killer whale pick. All right, coming up first. I had to go with one of the great apes. I didn't know which one I was going to go with, but there's a badass vibe to us right now. We're going with the badasses. And I'm going to follow suit. I'm going with the silverback gorilla let's go that's how you make aaron kareem uh mostly did you cream no he doesn't like it i'm on record okay well okay they're all fun aaron they're all fun now i don't know he seems seems busy. All right. I'm going with the silverback. I mean, eats like 35 pounds of food a day.

Mostly leaves and stuff. Little larva, little bark, little ants. But the diet, you could say they're not fully there. Is maybe the most badass vegan in the world is the silverback gorilla. You know, a freaking tank. Just the way they walk around with that posture that build when you watch them fight in zoo videos the way they can leap and move and uh yeah they live in families they've got 16 distinct calls that they use with one another 98 genetic brothers with us and uh they've made

some fucking fire films give them a lot of credit for the apes franchises. Yeah. And a little underrated one, Congo. And yeah, so I'm going to Silverback. And then next up, and a little dick. Aaron, thank you. That's beautiful. And they're fucking jacked as fuck. They're warriors. And they got little, little cocks.

That's huge right there. And they jack off. And they jack off. That's beautiful. That's our 98% commonality right there and they jack off and they jack off that's beautiful that's our 98 percent commonality right that's what that's me that's it that's that's where i'm like you sure we're not the exact same it's like yeah i eat steak that's about it yeah you think darwin's looking the girl's like and he's like wait a second oh fuck dude he walks up he's like brother yeah buddy you start jagging off with it and they're like connecting like whoa dude and they live a good long life i think they can live

to be up to 40 in the wild i like that i like a little longevity in my animal i would give anything i like to get to the wisdom point which there's wiser apes and i almost went with them but i had to go with the ape that would beat the other apes' asses. That's my, I had to, that had to be important to me. And I had the water protector. I needed the land protector.

And now I'm going with just the animal that's most near and dear to my heart, the horse. Beautiful. And look, there's a lot of different ones. There's the Clydesdales.

There's whatever horses they debate about at the end of Crimson Tide. But for me, it's the American West. What is it called lippin zonder fire shit chris um i'm going with the quarter horse the american quarter horse the horse the wild west the shaper of the american west uh a quote that strider put on my radar there's something about the outside of a horse that's good for the inside of a man churchill and uh they're just beautiful majestic creatures so there's no i guess there's no there's only one kind of wild horse and it's

somewhere i think in like europe maybe the middle east but we call them wild horses they're just feral horses you know but when you watch feral horses running and they run just because they love to run it's one of the most life-affirming things i've ever seen and then when you can be simpatico with one and be on board with it you can feel what it's feeling chad you almost got thrown off one yeah it bucked wild on you but you held on i should have filmed it but i got scared that would have been fire a fire clip and you were holding a surfboard while you were doing it oh i get on it and the thing just goes go i was like this is how you die yeah because they got that straight ahead, but it caught out of its narrow

periphery, Chad's board. But yeah, they're beautiful animals. And, you know, I hate to put them in a subservient role, but they're highly functional. We wouldn't be here without horses. So I'm grateful that you helped us in this, you know, sometimes beautiful, sometimes destructive, but altogether, I think, meaningful development that we've had through human history. So thank you, horses.

That's an interesting category that I didn't think about is like the man's sort of helping hand. Beast of bird. Horses, dogs. That's huge. They've helped us a ton. But I think Strider, you got great picks though. What's that? Oh, thank you so much, Chad.

Thank you so much for reading for me. They're good. Thank you for reading for me. JT, that horse pick's very beautiful. Chad, your picks are very nice. That's a great comment. That is good. No, horses is good, dude.

I swear to God, that's sick. And you got War Horse. Oh, you got great pop culture. Secretariat. Wild Hearts Can't Be Broken. Fucking... I i mean imagine legends of the fall without horses pursuit of honor what's that it's about it dude it's like great it's when um macarthur they're uh modernizing the military like in the 30s they're going to tanks and they're like getting rid of cavalry they're like it's no longer useful and to save money they're like just go kill the horses just shoot them and they're like no can't we just like sell them to something and he's like no like

for some reason he was like it's easier just to kill these horses and the guys from the cavalry jack the horses and take them up to canada best horse scene in a movie i got mine ready scene in a movie this is a great question oh well i just have one in mind that doesn't involve a horse but one of the best scenes revolving around a horse sopranos oh yeah when tony kills ralphio yeah yeah one of the greatest scenes ever yeah or godfather all of a sudden you're a humanitarian like an animal rights activist you eat beef and pork by the truckload he's a beautiful it's a creature yeah that was a great scene i was gonna say mascazorro the chase scene in that one oh yeah so fun very good or

good horse chase scene is with the arnold movie um through the fucking city yeah true lies that is a great that's cool they're on the horse multiple floors jango's a good one where he goes bareback that is cool yeah i've ridden bareback it's tough but it does feel pretty special yeah just holding that main legs beauty sucking as tight as you can on top of it horses are sexual too that daniel radcliffe play the sexy animal as well his play but he was in an equest where he shows his dick which was pretty strong and uh yeah it's a sexual animal it gets people horned up he shows dick on stage yeah after he did harry potter he's like you know what i got to be a real actor i'm gonna show my dick and me and like six friends in new york went out there

and we're like nice dick you saw on stage in person you saw his dick in person i know i kind of buried the lead i can't believe i haven't brought this up earlier but yeah he stood up there proud with his little dick it's in that I would oh no I was good it was a good size sorry sorry I think that is the high form of art is reciting dialogue memorized dialogue with your penis out it was a very high art form that's how acting started so it should have been beautiful yeah Chris oh I mean every speech Braveheart he's on a horse does that count fucking let's go of course I mean almost every movie has Braveheart, he's on a horse. Does that count? Fucking let's go. Of course. I mean, almost every movie has horses. Every great movie.

Dario Argento. The greatest actors in the animal kingdom, you could say. And they're just beautiful, man. They are. A nice killer. A nice white one, a nice brown one, a nice black one. They're saying this horse that won the Kentucky Derby, this true dark horse, might not be able to race in the next one the preakness because it's like training schedules

too close because it was an alternate i'm like baby we got to have that horse go for the triple crown they get hurt though those horses live a good life and then they break something and then it's uh yeah and it's like right now especially just business-wise like don't push that horse don't hurt it yeah because that jism's worth so much stud fees alone yeah just let it go race the the belmont stakes whatever the last one is you've had some you'd have some good stud fees me you think so thank you i'm buttering up to you now thank you you know what let me tell you what and i don't want to come from negativity the arrow killer whale pick was sick i just got my head you got in my head with the wolverine pick and i do think wolverines are sick dude i think you guys have a fire picks my next my next one is the crowned

eagle whoa i want i wanted flight yep and birds of prey are so sick yeah it's friggin gnarly when birds eat other birds uh this one is total beast uh unusually large talons and strong legs and may kill by crushing the skull it's fucking huge what does it say considered africa's excuse me most powerful eagle and yeah it's just i wanted an eagle it's freaking huge it's badass and yeah i needed some air power so that's where i'm going yeah someone had to get ariel you know we're beautiful sticking we're sticking too close to the ground smart pick it's a great pick. And what a cool eagle. Hadn't heard of it, but it sounds fucking rad. Yeah, I just looked up 10 most badass birds of prey.

Aaron, let's look from there. Whoa. Yeah. Wow. Chad? I got to go reptile. First reptile. Ooh, daddy-o.

And this one's a beast. King of the snakes. King Cobra. Beautiful snake. Dude. I think it's the only snake that eats other snakes. Gnarly. There's other ones?

I think the California king snake eats other snakes, right? That might be right. Yeah, I think it eats rattlers. Well, anyways, snake eats other snakes, right? That might be right. Yeah, I think it eats rattlers. Wow. Yeah. Anyways, it eats other snakes. That's sick. That's fucking sick.

It is the only one. It's the largest venomous snake. I think they get up to like 18, 20 feet or something. No. That's so gnarly. But dude, their venom, one bite can kill 20 humans. It can kill an elephant. No way. That's how gnarly but dude their venom one bite can kill 20 humans it can kill an elephant no that's how gnarly they are and they're the smartest too they're the smartest of like this like the venomous

snakes like the cobras and stuff when they and when they when they like square up they just fucking rise up like that yeah like what dude and so they flare out dude they flare out, dude, they flare out their last. They dart. They dart. Dude, they dart. Yeah. Badass dude. It's so recognizable.

So recognizable. Iconic. You got Jafar uses the staff with the Cobra on it. Yeah. He's iconic. Yeah. Indiana Jones. Yep.

In the army now. He fights a Cobra. Yeah. You've been watching that YouTube too, right? Yeah. It's going to be my legend or babe, but there's this YouTube. you've been watching that youtube too right yeah it's gonna be my legend or babe but there's this youtube i've been watching chandler just chandler's wildlife

it's kind of hard to say for some reason because it's wildlife not wildlife wildlife but he uh he has like every venomous kind of not every but like some of those venomous snakes out there king cobra he's with black mambas rattlesnakes and all that shit and he's just taking him out he's like i gotta clean the cage today just takes out a king cobra and he's like i'm putting him in the bucket right now and the thing is just like snapping at him and he's just like woo woo i'm just like watching i'm like holy fuck dude but yeah how old is this guy dude he's like 25 it looks like maybe 30 how long is he gonna make it i don't know but he's been dealing with him like his whole life he's yeah he's like 25 it looks like maybe 30 how long is he gonna make it i don't know but he's been dealing with him like his whole life he's yeah he's very confident around them whoa he has

rattlesnakes he's he's just he's like yeah this is a green mamba and it's just like slithering up his like hook thing i'm like dude that's so gnarly yeah king cobra what up i fucking hate snakes do i just have one snakes are scary just one okay all right i'm also going ariel you took a this is informed by chris's pick a little bit but i'm not upset with what i'm going with i'm very in my head but i'll tell you this right now i'm going with crows dude i was gonna pick up crows are the smartest bird. They are debatably the smartest species besides like humans on earth. They're a cooperative animal. They have a poem.

I mean, crows, ravens, there is a slight differentiation there. One, a raven will croak. That's like the poem Edgar Allan Coe. It's like more daunting and murderous. And then you have like a caw. They can be a nuisance,ous. And then you have like a, they can be a nuisance, dude. Makes you say nuisance. Crows can be a nuisance, but they're fucking smart. They remember people's faces.

Yeah. Through the years. Through the years. A group of them has the sickest name. It's called a murder. That's fucking tight that you roll in a murder of fucking crows as opposed to a gaggle of geese. Get out of here, dude. And they're super

smart they can survive like they are found like in on every single continent like except antarctica of course but like super fucking survivalist animal super intelligent uh they work together you'll see them hunting with hawks will be like and you can just see this in san juan where we grow up like a red tail hawk will be hunting crows will go out bite and fight the hawk and then get the prey and then share it super fucking sick dude um so yeah just a super smart legit ass animal um for pop culture a poem is inspired by one though technically it's a raven um but yeah just an elite species i think that was the the secret winner of the of the bird picks um because because they're different and don't they understand currency don't they like they collect like trinkets and stuff

like that yeah they they're like yeah they'll they'll remember seeds and yeah i did look this up how does that work i think they fucking like shiny things like like gold i'm wrong now but like gold and silver things like that like they'll collect them and put them in their nest like they understand the kind of abstract value of objects yeah i did i i forget the research because we did an episode of history is dank on this but like yeah there is some they did like some test like that where they tested a crow to get like treats and this other animals can do this but it's amazing that the bird could do it um like they have the intelligence of like a six-year-old or something like that we're like it recognized if it brought back they can teach them to recycle that was it they picked up cigarette buds so crows like

literally help the environment they go around pick up cigarette buds and get rid of micro plastics because they could then come back and like get rewards for it which is pretty gnarly Grady said at the gym today that they have the most comparable brain to body mass ratio to humans. Let's go, dude. So they're fucking elite, dude. And they're an omen. Yeah, and they're an omen, but not necessarily bad.

If a crow shows up in your dream, it just means change. Sometimes, you know, change is a difficult process. So we, you know, old dudes fear change. But, like, it's not always negative. And, yeah, that's something too throughout the history mysticism and everything like an eagle mystical animal killer whale like yeah for sure they find old you know the tribes of the north so snakes for sure so i like that there's fucking mysticism involved in that auspices culver city is crows everywhere yeah you know in san juan capistrano

it's legal to kill 17 crows in a day it's i looked that up it's a city ordinance i didn't know that it's pretty yeah i pushed it i've i've killed a crow it's bad the native america yeah you've killed your animal i sniped one back in the day when i was a kid i was an idiot i was a young moron i thought yeah i thought it was cool gavin logan tiles and uh he's like my dad hates crows i was like let's take out crows it was fucking stupid i feel bad was it fire was like, let's take out crows. It was fucking stupid. I feel bad about it. Was it flying or was it chilling?

It was fucking just chilling on the branch. What was the range on the shot? It was like a straight up shot, probably high up in the tree, maybe 40 feet. That's bad, dude. You shouldn't have done that. I shot a kid one time. You shot a kid? I was also a kid.

BB gun? Yeah, and he was on the run. And after I hit him, my brother said, good shot. It was. It was like a kid and my brother BB gun yeah and he was on the run and after I hit him my brother said good shot it was it was like there was like a tree there was there was a lot of obstructions

and it was the very basic BB gun you know like the very classic the daisy one oh yeah lever action

not the most accurate BB gun on the market and ow and it was dude shot he got hospitalized I was calm until he got hospitalized and then i think my parents set up some theater to make me think i was going to jail which was

smart taught me a lesson yeah sorry i did that man sometimes yeah i'm also sorry i killed that crow don't kill living creatures you know unless they're threatening you i guess if a cobra's in your bed or if you eat them you know your culture yeah and yeah you know sometimes exactly and like there's hunting season and there's respect for the animal yeah just sustainability uh do i get my last pick now as well okay my last pick is going to be the sperm whale dude the sperm whale is by far the sickest whale you ever heard of moby dick that's The sperm whale is by far the sickest whale. You ever heard of Moby Dick? That's a sperm whale.

A sperm whale does X-Men shit. It can, it has a very advanced language. It has such a powerful echolocation click that if it does it close to you and it will recognize you, it knows people and can recognize threats and it takes out boats it can burst your organs just by clicking it's fucking making that click burst your can literally make you rupture from the inside so loud yeah it can create such a powerful wavelength and boom with it it can rupture your organs it can rupture fish's organs it's a defense mechanism moby dicks

about it movie with fucking heemsworth. Essex did. Ron Howard movie. It's all about like them, this whale. In the heart of the sea. Yeah, yeah. Worst accent. Yeah, very bad accents. Not a great movie, but the fucking whale is gnarly.

I think Chris Hemsworth, every movie he's in has the worst accents if they don't let him do him. So true. Thor works. That's true. He's good as Thor. But that Philly accent he did in Black Hat philly that's true he's good as thor but that philly accent he did in black hat is that where he's supposed to be from in that i think he's supposed to be from philly also he's a hacker and you're like you're a six four jacked linebacker dude you're not a hacker dude but maybe they are i shouldn't stereotype um anyway back to these

fucking sick ass sperm whales and besides me loving dicks and talking about jizz, which I do get fired up. And the reason they're called sperm whales is because like the oil and stuff in them, why people would whale them just looks kind of like jizz. It's how they got their name. So some dude wasn't super creative with that. It's inspired great art. Herman Melville, not great art. Essex.

Also a fun note from that movie. Like there was a schmole on that to true journey. Some guy like burnt down the Galapagos Islands on that. So then the ship gets smashed by this whale. It literally recognizes boats, leaves the pod, goes out, defends it, rams it, fucks up humans. I like nature that can fuck up humans a little bit because we need to get put in our place a little bit because we fuck up nature so bad that we need something that can take it back. A male sperm whale is called a bull. That's fucking sick. It's a bull of the ocean, bro. Also speaking to diet, this is a proper whale.

It eats Bailey. It just fucking takes in micro protein, dude, cleans the ocean while just getting this fact that these massive things clean the ocean and take in small little diets. You think it would be something big so it's very efficient animal the sperm whale but it's just housing krill krill plankton that type of shit yeah with its baleen its teeth which is also why people would get it or uh valuable to hunt but anyway fucking sick nice dude love the passion um i'm having trouble with this last one because there's one that i'm passionate about but I have personal experience with so I don't know if it'll

translate but do I just go with my heart or do I go with what I think? Go with your heart. Don't tell me what to do. Go with what makes you ask. Cream his shorts. I didn't ask. You did. You said should I go with my heart. I was talking to myself. I'm not talking to you. Alright, alright.

You've got a bad list. No, you've got a good list i'm just talking shit to you where are we right he's being an asshole jt's feeling worried about it no i really want to get my pick baby you got this now i want to you've got a good list no everybody's got a shit list mine's kicking ass that's what i'm talking about i just want to spite this dude yeah now exactly there's a little spice you asked no i was asking myself all right all right you got a sexy ass list baby all right but shut up if i give any advice i'd say make aaron cream his shorts because he hasn't creamed yet all right i'm gonna go with the rhino nice i'm going with the rhino i love that it's the power lifter of the animal kingdom got big ass thighs big ass horn it's majestic uh ivory made of ivory um what else it's got a great it's got a great scene from uh ace ventura 2 it's the best scene of all time

with him coming out of there it's so funny kind of hot in these rhinos they say there's a theory that unicorns are based off of rhino because there used to be like an old bones found like a rhino that just had one super long horn yeah so perhaps the uh origin of the unicorn myth yeah comes from a rhino that's tight rhino and huge cocks oh did they do a huge rhino cocks huge and they shit like volleyballs like big old things yeah you said that yeah yeah you told me that it was like three in a row it's right out it was awesome it was like it was one of the coolest it was at least going to be an honorable mention for me. And I just want to shoulder charge one so bad just to feel that like mass.

See if you can do that toe to toe. No, I assume it would wreck me, but it would just be fun to feel running into like a animal wall like that. And I'm curious what the texture of their skin feels like because I can't tell how hard or soft it would be. Sorry. I would like to touch one. Oh, I'm curious what the texture of their skin feels like because I can't tell how hard or soft it would be. Sorry. I would like to touch one. Oh, I'm up. I think I'm going to go with the platypus. Nice.

Cool. It's just a very interesting animal. It's also known as a duck-billed platypus because it has a duck beak, but it's a mammal that's mostly aquatic, but it's one of the few mammals that lays eggs. It's one of the few mammals that is venomous. Whoa, I didn't know that.

It's venomous? It's got a stinger, I believe. Whoa. So, yeah, it's just a lot of shit going on. They're kind of weird looking. They're super sick. Don't they live in like Australia or something? That's tight.

Yeah. Tasmania, I think. And yeah, it's like it's an animal on to there's nothing else like it. It's a platypus. It's like it's the only one of those that's around. It's very unique. And I've always just loved them they're just really they're just really cool and different they got little duck feet it's fun 100 it's one of those

animals that makes me believe in aliens it's like that's on our planet come on baby there's other stuff going on what do you got for my last pick i'm going going with a mammal. So all mine are mammals, which is kind of a weakness. And it's a primate. It's an apex predator. They can be so many different things. They can be kind, cruel, manipulative. Oh, here we go. Competitive.

They're capable of abstract thought and the development of ideas that they can pass on through generations. They can come up with ideas like a draft and then do that with their friends and then debate and argue and fight. And they can do things beyond that, too. And for my money, the hottest of the animals, except for maybe the jaguar. But I do find myself frequently aroused by them on both sides. I'm going with human beings. Wow. Fucking what a band.

A nice band. Primate. Yeah. Animal. This is fucking very true. And, you know, I think we have a very specific purpose in the universe. We are the universe contemplating itself. And other animals can do that to a smaller degree but they can't write

books about it as far as we can tell or make movies or do podcasts so i'm going with humans as my fourth pick in my bend very nice the pics are in yeah what do we yeah i don't know if there's any clear shot winner where we're like that fucking list rips this time or should we recap it yeah i don't because i don't remember what everyone i started running maybe kick the uh yeah aaron do you want a second oh aaron do you want to recap them you got it you know right believe all righty so jt's picks killer whale. Two, silverback gorilla. Three, horse.

Four, human. That's a good pick. Chris, number one, grizzly bear. Two, dogs. Three, crowned eagle. Four, platypus. Chad. One, lions. Two, lions two dolphins three king cobra four rhinos strider the bender

wolverine number one jaguar number two three crows four sperm whale i think strata has the worst list for sure we want to do honorable mentions we do a pig i thought none of us talked about animals that we eat because i guess we were thinking about the animal more in its own life but pigs and cows like the contribution has been gigantic and then pigs are intelligent yeah they're clean like people say filthy like a pig but that's only because they go in mud to cool down. They're actually very clean animals. Mm-hmm. And they don't sweat. No sweat gland on them.

They make bacon. And they make bacon. Yeah. I wanted to choose the animal for like what, its own living. I thought about that for a part. I was like cows, steaks, fucking good. I was going to go with otters because I love otters. Oh, yeah.

Santa Cruz, there's otters everywhere. Dude, they're the most playful animals. They hold hands while they sleep. What? I'd see them in Santa Cruz and they'd be like on their backs with like a rock on their belly and they'd take like a, you know, like a muscle or something and be like smashing it open. I saw one just on its back just ripping apart a crab and eating it. It was the coolest thing.

And they're so cute. They just look up at you and you're like, hey. There's also like giant squid or an octopus, like mollusks and shit. I was going to say cuttlefish or like octopus because of the way that they change colors. It's probably some of the best baked planet earthing you could do. Are those episodes? Octopus dream too. They have dreams. I I mean they're like the

smartest they're super fucking smart cuz like yeah jellyfish I think jellyfish can jellyfish live forever I think they're immortal yeah they're aliens what are they really long time not when I meet. Yeah. Put them in a pot, baby. Yeah, I think they would otherwise be. One of the coolest ones I read about was this thing called the bombardier beetle, which basically shoots acid out of its butthole. Dude, this is awesome. Because I was Googling.

Because I was looking for traits, and I was like, best defensive animals. Yeah. And that was the coolest one on that list. Although I did read about some ants that will like basically like burst their abdomen and like have like their acid blood like squirt onto their enemies to kill them. Yeah. None of us went with bugs. And I guess it's because of lack of relatability. Like I've never had a relationship to a bug.

You can't really look in their eyes. Yeah. They don't blink. Praying mantis would have been the one or bombardier beetle. It's hard to respect them. A black widow, poisonous. I respect those. Daddy long legs, sick name.

Can that beetle, that beetle can push 20 times its weight when it pushes dung? Dung beetle. That sounds right. Oh, dung beetle? Yeah, strong. Ants can lift like 10 pounds of body weight. Very strong creatures. And the dung beetle, they do, they like turn poop into balls and that's where they put

their eggs. And it's like the male and the female just rolling up the ball, which is pretty. Think about this, bro, that I was trying to bet. Coral, dude. Oh, that would have been good. Coral. That's a living creature. It's huge for the ocean.

It's massive. It's a huge one. All right huge for the ocean. It's massive. It's a huge one. All right, Aaron, what do you think? Cheetahs are sweet. Pure cheetahs. I was also going to say beavers. They're the second to humans affect the world the most. They affect the environment.

Whoa. Because beavers, yeah, they cut down trees and shit. Build dams and shit build dams yeah raccoons are a personal favorite of mine yep my favorite great ape

nobody mentioned it orangutan orangutan maybe I should have gone with that it's fine but then I got humans you should watch orangutan jungle school

if you haven't very cute it's awesome largest tree dwelling animal the orangutan. They like that perspective. They like to see things from above. They're pretty solitary.

The narwhal. Amazing looking creature, right? Very alien-like. It's got a spear on its head. It's got a tooth, technically a tooth. The shoebill is the craziest fucking bird you'll ever see in your life. Google it. Looking it up.

Shoebill, they're massive. That's proof that dinosaurs are birds oh yeah there i got it yeah whoa yeah oh elephants elephants rule they get sad when they lose someone they love i get sad when i see elephants sad and then i was going to say the sea otter hippos saltwater crocodile cute and deadly yeah the deadliest right the deadliest in africa wolves wolves kangaroos they get jacked up top yeah marsupials too interesting are sharks one of the oldest yeah they haven't evolved crocodiles and sharks sharks are 400 million years old i don't know what's yeah they've been does have just been swimming how you see them now is how they've always been it's crazy penguins the males take care of the egg that's nice little

kramer versus kramer situation keep each other warm dude in charge all right let's get to my picks all right here we go here we go all right gang That's very funny. All right. Let's get to my picks. All right, here we go. Here we go. All right, gang. Coming in fourth. It's got to be Strider.

Look, that's okay. It's okay. I've got a sick list. There are so many sick animals out there for your number one. Wolverine's cool. It was going to be out there for a while. I don't think I've ever heard you talk about Wolverines before. Yeah, but it's a sick-ass animal.

That's why. I thought you'd go Honey Badger maybe because they're like... I debated going Honey Badger. I debated. With the video, it's cool. But I think Wolverines are more sick than Honey Badgers because they have X-Men. I like that X-Men. You like the culture.

Yeah. The culture. The sick-ass animal. We hung out a little bit earlier on his pod, and I was like, you know, Dada's got to be a number one pick. Yeah, but I couldn't do it out of honor.

I couldn't do it out of honor. Sure. Okay. In third place, some great picks, but when he came to bending, got a little too cute. No way. JT.

There's no way. I got to agree. Great top three. You didn't like the human pick? Too cute. Okay, fair enough. Too cute for me. But we wouldn't even have drafts if it wasn't for humans.

Does that not make sense? Drafts. Oh, did you say giraffes if it wasn't for humans. Does that not make sense? Giraffes. Oh, did you say giraffes or giraffes? I said giraffes. I was like, what? We could kill them all. Do you understand? We've let them live.

As the fourth pick, though. I don't like that, Ben. Man, I should have gone with the peregrine falcon i needed a bird wolverine was definitely the sean penn pick of the that was insane definitely don't agree dude definitely don't agree i stand by my list dude thank you i mean when you when you went to detail on sperm whales i was like oh those are impressive but just sperm whale sick sperm whales are sick i thought you were gonna say human no no no no i thought about bending it but you know i didn't want to come in fifth all right top two oh chad lion, dolphins, king cobra, rhino. Classics.

Classics, and I love them all. I love a rhino. I, too, want to feel what one feels like, Chris. Yeah. And they're big as fuck. They're as tall on their fores as you are standing. It's crazy. Whoa.

And, dude, monster dumps. Monster dumps. Respect it. And prehensiles. Monster dumps. Respect it. And prehensile lips. They can do this with their mouth. Whoa. But I think I think the person who bent the best

is Chris Parr on this one. Get on that mic. Three and four. Three and four. Three and four. Left field. But Chef's Kiss.

So what was his I forget his four. Grizzly Bear. Dogs. As a two. I mean could have been a one. Grizzly Bear is classic though. And it is the

California State Bear. Oh nice. So it is on the flag. Let's go. Crowned Eagle. i mean those claws were insane that's a fun like who even thinks that and then the platypus that's the perfect bend right there unique so chris chad jt good job guys good job hey great job guys i told you you guys good draft good draft i think we actually have time for cues this time you know i won the first one and then i uh had a one cent so this feels pretty good i I love that. What's up, dudes?

I'm interrupting this podcast to let you know once again that we are brought to you by we got a new Patreon. Our bonus episodes each week. Classic Chad and JT. Super fun. Super just an extra stoke boost for your tank. Yeah, I got those words correct. Patreon.com slash Chadad goes deep you won't

miss out also we have tour dates coming up we're gonna be at houston and dallas june uh 17th and 18th so go chadjd.com for tickets if you're in the area and we have more dates coming out soon keep your eyes peeled next up we got manscape manscape thank you so much for keeping our trims pube for looking after our hogs for making sure their dinks are looking fresh and clean because father's day is coming up guys you want to make sure that your dad has fire pubes just because he might have some age on him doesn't mean he doesn't have pubes and he needs to look after them and you want him to look after his pubes with the most modern sleek design pew trimmer on

the market the lombor 4.0 it is the best on the market it won't nick or cut your balls uh you get a led light on them it's just like a spotlight on your dink they got the ear and nose hair trimmer the weed whacker they got crop preserver ball deodorant, crop reviver toner. Look at this thing. It's the best. I did my nose hair the other day. I love Manscaped. Get the performance package 4.0. Up your game when it comes to hygiene and balls. Get 20% off plus free shipping with the code go deep at manscaped.com. That's 20% off plus free shipping at manscaped.com. Use code off plus free shipping at manscaped.com use code go deep shake what your mama gave you nah shake what your daddy gave you and that's what's up all right players yeah all right so we had a question coming a couple weeks ago where there was a virgin in the crew which everyone was

supportive of but i guess he was kind of being hard on the other guys for their sexual activity, and it was rubbing them wrong. So we gave them myriad advice, and one of the suggestions was to call them out. And this is the follow-up. What up, Chad, JT, and any other dank ass? This is a follow-up about the Virgin schmole I wrote in about a few weeks ago. Fire news, the boys and I took your advice

and referred to him as Virgin, which, of course, that was the advice they were going to take, which motivated them to get in the sack with a nice lady, finally getting some puss. That's not the worst outcome. It's okay if you would have stayed a virgin too, but you know. You gotta let one lady down.

It's okay. But we've come across another conundrum. In the events following his boning, we found out he has a massive hog. We're talking eight inches plus. Lots of girth and lots of stoke. But his cock is apparently so big, no brand name condom seems to sheath his piece. So we met this kid, too. He didn't mention he had a huge dick, but he was nice. We met him in Royal Oak.

Nice. Or in Grand Rapids. Where was it? Royal Oak. You got to lead with that, buddy. Maybe the town's named after his dick. Yeah, but he's sick. Yeah, he's got to be the first or second.

He's giving girls Grand Rapids is what he's doing. We first or second and he's giving girls grand rapids we're talking eight inches plus lots of girth lots of stoke so he's just been raw dogging chicks with lots of lube and coconut oil my dog how do we multiple chicks yeah this guy went from a little bs but i'm gonna roll with it i like i like i like all of it uh my dogs how do we fit this hog into some rubbers how can we make sure our dog can fuck but do so safely and at what point do we need to get our hands on and try to fit a rubber on the beast ourselves by the way we got him hooked on the pod and we even caught your show in royal oak now i remember you guys were awesome it was really

nice to meet you guys uh yeah pin your friend down jack off, have them pop a boner, and then just try on condoms, dude. Should I call Joe? Yeah, Joe's got a big old dick. No one's got a bigger dick than Joe, and Joe finds rubbers. Joe might be at a show right now. There's a show at the Volk in the night with Linocci that Joe's on. Dude, literally every show the crowd has. How big is Joe's dick?

Every single one. And it's mythological. None of us know. Hey, how big is joe's dick every single one who's following you and it's mythological none of us know hey yeah it's true but we have heard from people that it's large from people who have been intimate with them oh there's no question there's truth and we get specific intel on what shape it is yeah but do we need you this kid wrote in about his friend who's got too big of a dick for condoms. What do you do when you need a condom? Yeah. A condom for a huge dick. What brand?

I think you're a big part of that what are they called Magnum XL's and those can fit like a big 8 inch or that's super thick yeah it'll fit let's take it easy it's gonna fit but I gotta go

yeah have a good set man yeah that's perfect that's perfect all right later brother bye there you have your answer yeah sup bros if you could go back to any point in time at any place event you'd want when and where would you want to go and why i think i'd drop back and chill the egyptians because it seemed like these those guys knew how to party your safety is guaranteed and you're not there to make any crazy changed like stop historical events just vibe and enjoy it i think a great one would be to go to the um circus maximus in rome which is where they do chariot racing yeah which is basically you can

get fucked up with your boys off of wine and go watch people get fucking gnarly and race some horses you most popular spot to sit was like the turn of course most accidents or whatever and it's barbaric but you're roman you're roman at this point there's the coliseum people are killing each other that's mode decorum so i think that would be sick to go back to a cultural event like that and i know my eats are going to be good it's basically you know italian food you know they're not eating pasta but i'm gonna have some good grapes some good wines it's probably some fucking dates or something like that and it's gonna be sick as hell i think i'd go ancient g. You got Philosophize. Yeah.

Togas. Cool thing. I don't know. Spartans. I don't know if I'd want to be a Spartan, but it'd be cool to just witness the Spartans in action. Do like a CrossFit workout with them. Dude, yeah. They're just combing their hair and they're just getting ready for battle.

Yeah. For some reason, Ancient Rome is cool, but for some reason, I romanticize Ancient Greece a little bit more. I think it sounds it informs roman culture mythology and all that kind of stuff roaring 20s roaring 20s i think i'm gonna go studio 54 oh great good this is a good move uh so you can party with mom and dad yeah i'd want to be able to get in like the exclusive room where they're doing like probably doing quaaludes and like just all those drugs i know that the food's gonna be good you know because the dancing's gonna be the dancing's gonna be super fun um and i'll just

get to wear really flashy outfits i think it'd be i think it'd be a good time and i wouldn't stick out in any way i feel like i could blend and just have a really good time yep hell yeah dude that was a fire pick that's a good ass call would they know for having good food well just because like i could just like get like a steak or something because you're in new york city right oh yeah like i'm just in new york you know yeah exactly that would be cool get a caesar you know just freaking hang oh that's a great caesar with rick james yeah what whoever's there you know maybe the summer of sam new york i think there was a uh i think that the trash men went on uh strike so it smelled like shit in the city which is worse than one of the hottest cities in recorded new york history

there's a crazed maniac on the loose murdering people right there's a blackout and the yankees are on fire reggie jackson is cracking that would have been cool it would be cool to be there for like the worst moment in history for a specific city and i honestly i think we kind of lived through that with la bro it was bleak here for a while like two years ago yeah it felt covid um the protests um right you know you got national guard on the street 4 p.m curfews you're like yeah this is probably as intense as it's gonna get that was crazy seeing like dudes with assault rifles just like at a major intersection like down the street yeah you walk to get coffee and

you're just like i'm just like saying what up it's only for a little bit but still yeah interesting bad no kid witness that bad yeah it's not not horrible yeah still just just different in a kind of an eerie way but not threatening yeah i wasn't aware of it i was just playing call of duty if you're like are you there's riots going on i'm like oh for real dude duty is i have a full-blown addiction but truly got a shout out to you guys for hooking it up with the x Xbox literally saved my life dude doing that and having the boys

on comms and the fact that we're still doing it like last night you hopped on comms you were the fifth man which is painful our boy Greg

kept saying one more and then kept doing one more classic that's the way it goes that's how it goes yeah and he's a good player

and we needed him better than me too beautiful he's dude we might have saved your life, but you saved a lot of lives out there, dude. Legends,

bro. Even Revan dudes. Um, Hey boys, I did. Hey boys, straight up. I'm acid beer pong.

My throw is an accurate and inconsistent. How can I fix this? Big kiss. Love you. Arc dude. Yeah. Yeah. It's the follow through and just get a lot of shots up.

Use your legs a little bit a little bend your leg helps you know don't like really you know cricket throw it and when you have follow-through like you're jordan and you aim at the cup you know flick the wrist aim at the cup almost every time i'm all early in the round dude i'm all about the sky ball there's so many cups dude just. Just get that thing up. You might drop in, you know? And then, yeah, just repetition. It sucks.

I used to be so good, but I just don't get shots up. Yeah. It's like anything. It's practice makes perfect. And, you know, a nice little buzz might help you a little bit. Cool buzz. Do little shenanigans with your partner where you switch balls or like who's going first switching sides just always be looking for even if it's like a

the superstitious way to like you know get some juices flowing you know find out what works massive and this is huge huge bear pong playing tip i'm about to give out right now on the pod um this is a defensive tip for you you have to play with your other team's optics so stand up close to the cups like at the edge of the table and then when they're about to shoot or a little bit after it move away and be constantly changing where you are because the brain is relating to everything around so you can fuck with the guy um a little bit just basically like not giving them a backboard right do people practice at home alone they should i did yeah i did in college did you really yeah yeah i'd be i would i have a desk in my room and i'd be in the

bed and just sort of like just throwing it up there and just letting it hit nice and i'd have a whole stack of b-pong balls right here in a bucket. Hell yeah, dude. Every night? Oh, 100%. I'd go through them all. And then in the morning, first thing I did, drop down 20 push-ups, pick up the balls, then jack off and start my day.

Smart. That's awesome. Oh, and that's right over. Find the songs that you ball out to. Put those on when you need a boost. Yeah, what was yours? Gives you hell? That was a good one that was uh i

mean it would change with like depending on the summer you know what i mean you find it's like your songs the summer where and then you're like oh i'm just dominating that song we gotta put it on again tonight bro when we cruise over to your room jt or chris your room where we'd always hang out technically my room technically jt's room though jt space jt's office your room and uh we'd cruise in there and jt be like bros got a new fire song hit it on the computer like kazaa or whatever hit that shit like kevin little would come on turn me on that's what i was thinking this is it dude i love we're like yeah yes that's the tempo kid rock you discovered kid rock yeah oh i got that from the robies though big shout out to the rubies

no surprise it came from the rubies absolutely dude i was in las vegas with chris rubies like this is our song i was like this is my song now um all right you ready for the next part yes sir chad who's your beef of the week um my beef of the week is with Twitter. Not related to Elon Musk in any way. I don't care about any of that. But just Twitter in general. I had to take it off my phone. I don't tweet. Like, I don't tweet at all.

But I would just pull it up out of boredom. It's so, it's like, it's the most toxic app. It is, I think it's by far the most toxic social media app. Because they would recommend you know i'd try to follow you know just like you know bill simmons or something you know but they recommend people and they recommend like the most radical thinking people on both sides and stuff so you're just like you're hit with all these like crazy ass political opinions and you're like oh my god dude like it just make it just exposes you

to the most toxic part of the internet right away without your permission and i was like i literally looked at it today i was i was like i just pulled it up and it was just like some i don't even know and i was just you know someone just just people are just fighting all the time and i was like this is horrible why am i even entertaining this i just deleted that shit smart good call twitter fuck you all right my beef and chad you can you've you've had this beef before but this is a different facet of the same beef due to with it butt dart dudes due to ride their bikes on the road yes but here's the thing when those dudes are now off

their bike and ordering coffee as a group in front of you dude all of them have their clicky shoes and all of them are dripping sweat down the back and they're all breathing all fucking loud and shit and clicking their shoes and getting and getting their drinks and it's all at one time and if you get stuck behind that dude that's a disaster and i haven't had my coffee yet and i need to drink up my personality i need that and i discovered this nice little coffee shop little la colombre over there in frog town do you got a new spot yeah i take sunny over there it's legit and so i got him and that's big for you oh huge and but it's right along the path along the fucking like la river or whatever so you get a lot of those butt dart dart rows and they all go in there and it's all

like 45 year old dudes who like, this is their exercise. They're very much what bothers me about it is the world has turned off to them. They're fucking, that's their zone. You know what I mean? And it just, and maybe just cause they're sweating and breathing loud and I've just woken

up and haven't had my coffee. So, but not only these guys on the road, they're also ordering in the coffee shop dude they're just in the way these dudes are in the way dude get in a spin class bro get a fucking peloton dude any chance dj any chance to give it to those dudes i'm all for it exactly bro also i'm like you're ordering a croissant and you're negating your exercise i will stand firmly cyclists and liver king haters fucking get at me

dude i can tag that too because i helped out your cause with your beef both y'all's beef my brother picked me up from the airport yesterday it's gonna be part of my next thing too but i was i hopped in the driver's seat because it was my whip and then i missed the turn onto sepova to south but you can still kind of finagle it on the straight lane that goes there. It forks, but you can make that fork. Cop pulls up right past me. He sees me kind of going for it. I back up.

I'm like, yo, Chris, you think that cop can double back to me and drill me for this? My brother's like, no shot. Took a very slow right. I think I was checking my phone or something. I was changing songs. My brother just goes, stop, biker. Stop my car. Schwack, dude. my car schwack dude no you know that one

he hit us but i gave him oh you like break check choice yeah and then dude he hits the car i'm like oh fuck dude how gnarly is this gonna be he was fucking he was up playing He was a soldier. He got back on. I think he waved to me like it was his fault. He just kept going? No, it was more like, what the fuck, dude? It was like, it wasn't like, oh. Yeah, it was the supinator hand. Yeah. I hope you get to where you're going safely.

It was like, what the fuck? Right. It wasn't as friendly as I might remember. He fall down? No. So he he like it was an illegal right and he was coming on the right and then he stopped and the guy tried to make it try to go left to go around uh around the car and he just kind of ran into the trunk and so it just kind of knocked him over. So it wasn't too bad. He wasn't injured. No, he was fine.

And he really did pop up like immediately. And I was just kind of like, dude, what the fuck? You know, and then. Then we went home. Yeah, then we went home. And I had to have my vape in five hours because they took it from me right before I got on the plane. I ripped it off.

It was in the walk thing right before I got on the plane. It was in the flight attendant. She goes, dude, you can't do that. Give me that thing. I was like, you're the, the, the, like the walk thing. Right before I get on the plane, the flight attendant, she goes, dude, you can't do that. Give me that thing. I was like, you're right.

You're right. And then, so right after the bike hits me, I'm like, sorry about that, Chris. I'm like, Hey,

is there a vape in here? My brother's like, yeah, there's one right here. I was like, all right, chill, chill,

chill, chill. All right. So one of those guys hit you, dude. Yeah. That's what I'm taking from that story. He initiated contact.

He's an asshole. We're good. Love that. Chris, who's your B for the week? My B for the week is my wife's trash right ankle. She always fucks it up. It's just a shit ankle. And we got a wedding this weekend.

So I really need... She just tripped on some pavement. That's how she broke her foot a little bit over a year ago. Heal up. Quit being such a douche. Because we need that ankle to dance. So quit fucking with my wife's shit and just be stronger. Hey, man, dude.

Hell yeah, dude. If she's not up to it will you at any point give her a little bit of a lap dance flavor at the wedding maybe some finger points from the dance floor yeah i mean i'm open to it i do think she'll be ready to rock yeah let's go that's beautiful if that was like in the up montage that'd be part of it 100 and then it would end with you like dancing for her but she's like part of it 100 and it would end with you like dancing for her but she's like suffering from incontinence and old and stuff like that that's beautiful that'd be so nice it's a great scene we'll never stop dancing together that's nice my beef of the week is uh i'm gonna go into tough guy voice for this because i'm fucking pissed and this is some

fucking tragic shit that i'm fucking sick of dude dude. I'm on the fucking airplane. It's an old fucking Delta plane. The fucking TV monitor is ancient. It's not responding to my finger touches. It's fine. I'm fucking persistent. I picked the movie The Replacements, Keanu Reeves, Gene Hackman. I'm ready to fucking cruise.

But here's the fucking problem. Dude, the fucking volume mix on this movie was the worst I've ever experienced and i've seen this before on airplanes dude the dialogue too quiet the music way too loud so i'm vacillating with the monitor that's not responsive to not hearing dialogue to having to take out one of the earphones because the police song is blaring, dude. Jesus Christ, Delta, figure it out. Who you got on the sound mix?

Fucking Slipknot? Sucks. Still a nice flight, but sucks. Chad, who's your baby of the week? My baby of the week is Grand Rapids the week is uh grand rapids and royal oak good call dude dude and also tempe dude can't forget tempe tempe sorry tempe i love you guys i only forgot because you're at the start of the trip but i fucking love the desert i love tempe it's great audience i love grand rapids i love dude both places i love the desert i love the

rocks of arizona just puts me in the happy place i i just i went for a walk when i got there i was like i'm in the desert i'm loving it let's do this and then michigan never been to michigan the mitten state what up dude very like the people there are so sweet and uh so like proud of their state which is very kind of in you know very endearing and just great audiences at all three shows so um it was just it was a lot of fun i like touring a lot i didn't think i'd like leaving california that much but it's fucking it's awesome i'm sick when you're with your boys dude is grady shout out to grady great guy great set grady good stuff injury rafi great guy helped me a ton yeah that was fun that was so fun being on the road and Great guy. Great set. Great. Good stuff. Andrew Rafi. Great guy.

Helped me a ton. Yeah, that was fun. That was so fun. Being on the road and getting to check out different places. And Michigan is beautiful. It's pretty. Yeah. Like the forest and stuff like that.

It's really nice. Strides. Dude, my baby of the week has got to be my freaking dank ass fiance, dude. Because she reminded me. She's like, it's been a while since we've been on one of our breakfast dates. Dude, nice date to go on to is a breakfast date. And we went to our little spot. We like to go to Beachwood.

We sipped our coffee. And we made one of the most fire moves. This was her call, especially today. Usually we get two runyons when we're there, which is like big scramble of eggs, side of like hash browns, a piece of toast and then we obviously split something sweet like a pancake she goes let's just get one fucking run you and neither of us shit our pants after breakfast because you know you shit your pants after breakfast when you go out and is that true this was great oh yeah you're not you wait you're not

shitting your pants after a big breakfast? I might be. You're not shooting your pants after brunch? I take big shits. And you ain't at brunch? But I never think about the food that made me shit. I think OPH definitely made us all drop deuces. Let me tell you, I clogged a toilet or two back at the par household.

OPH puts the calorie count now on their menu. Mistake. Huge mistake. Everything's a thousand plus. Yeah plus yeah yeah we're going to breakfast there's syrup and butter and everything i had like a 4 000 calorie breakfast i was like i don't want to know bro i i had i split that entree and then had one pancake but a big ass pancake i haven't eaten since then that was that we did a late breakfast that was at like 9 30 10 fire call by the lady huge call so just making a beast mode call of strengthening a relationship talking stuff out over a nice cup of coffee and then just

really dialing it in for my tum tum so chris uh mine is my wife uh she's been cooking up a storm lately she also made ice cream shout out to caleb who got us the ice cream maker off our registry. Thanks, dog. She finally christened the thing. How do you do that? Dude, I don't know if you do it. Sounds awesome.

It's got like a tube in it that has water and that's what freezes. Right. And it spins and then you just put a another piece in and when you pour the mixture in it just starts rotating and just runs through like a couple of uh that's awesome and then it's just you just see it start forming and like turning into like going from like a liquid to ice cream. I love that. And she made a strawberry swirl, like French vanilla strawberry swirl. Ooh.

But most importantly, she's been taking and posting some really fire pics of me on her Instagram. And I'm getting messages from the boys being like, oh my God, you look so cute. One of them was me like taking a nap outside and i looked amazing and i just uh thanks for taking good photos of me and then putting them places where the boys can see them because i've been getting some great reviews and it makes me feel good so thanks but bad that's right and it is true like there's one of you on the couch just chilling and we're like dude

i want to be a little spoon right now with chris bad thank you dude my babe of the week is all the people i interacted with yesterday wake up in the morning in royal oak get into an uber the driver's a beast he's playing the weekend we dish on that then we start talking gambling because i got a few casinos out there because i mentioned that you were saying we got to go across the yeah windsor canada i guess that's been like for like if you're under 21 yeah the drinking age is 19 so it's that's when i went and i got him fired up on gambling which was kind of a double-edged sword i kept trying to pivot off of it but hey the dude was enthused um yeah then i get to the airport get through security kicking it at a little restaurant want to get two hot dogs in me before i get on the plane i ordered it with i I thought, chilies.

It comes out with chili on it. Now, airport chili is not my favorite delicacy. I see the two hot dogs. I'm like, oh, fuck. And she's like, what's up? I'm like, I thought it was chilies. And then she's like, you know what, sweetie? I'll just switch that out real quick.

Boom, dude. No extra charge. Let's go. I hooked her up on the backside with the tip. Get onto the plane. Lose my vape flight attendants beast he had to call me out go to sit in 23e which is like a middle seat but i look at 6a just a little or no 6b no yeah 6a just a little fire aisle seat that's available sit down there next to a lady and i gotta get tough guy for this because it's a little bit personal but i don't i wasn't supposed to be sitting there and i don't think anyone was supposed to be sitting there because she was a bigger lady and i think she

got two seats for herself but then this fucking dude just takes the seat i'm the dude thinking that's a better spot for me she didn't say nothing about it she was sweet we ended up having good rapport we chatted back and forth had little jokes about me trying to throw away her wine to the flight attendant when they came through at the end of the trip she said have a good trip i say you too get out my broski's there to pick me up what a fucking beast dude airport trips in la the biggest sacrifice you can make for another human being yeah it's big time dude tanks on full you filled the tank i almost kill a biker you weren't that hard on me about it keep driving i get home i'm tired i rest then i uh i talked to chad chad's been a beast setting up stuff for our future dialed in on a monday just wrecking the logistics everything in

place firing on all cylinders then i do an saa meeting very cool very meaningful guys helping guys get better and not do stuff that's not good for them go to an open mic this dude rio goes up old guy he's got a bunch of props whoa we're in trouble he's wearing a cape he's half magician half comedian that never goes well he's filming a set all of his props are dicks pulls out a huge prosthetic he squeezes it and simulated semen comes out and shoots into his mouth did not expect to see that on a monday evening a lot to process a lot to think about guy was sweet hell. Had 600 bucks of Botox in his face. He told me how much it costs. Super fun.

Come home. No, go to CVS. Lines long. Almost threw me off, but I powered through. Got my prescription. Joe calls me. Total surprise. Edit the Patreon episode.

Then I hop on Call of Duty wanting to play. Instead, I just get... I was tired. I didn't really want to play. I just sit back, listen to four of my homies talk. Get two dubs. Brooks being an absolute killer from what i could gather oh yeah great brooks was so on fire greg goes hey dude i clipped that for you yeah nice and then i had some good sleep really good sleep went to bed listening to that we own the night we own the

city show which is pretty good not as good as wire but he's solid john berthnault being an animal i'll sign up for that just a fire fucking day dude hell yeah let's all let's go all right chad who's your legend of the week uh my legend of the week you jt you mentioned this on an earlier podcast um but uh the shane and shane gillis and louis ck podcast about presidents it's incredible i started listening i've listened it's four podcasts i've listened to it three times all of them i love it got me fired like i was just like i don't know i uh it's just very the way they talk about each president and you're making this point about how i no you were making the point about the way people teach history it's like about like dates and stuff they're like 1942 blah blah blah it's like louisiana purchased and it's such a boring way to teach history history but when people are like

talking about and talking about the people and like how they were and how they behaved and all that kind of stuff it's so much more it just sucks you in people who are passionate about history you're like fucking it so learning about all the presents like your podcast history is dank preach my dog people who are passionate about history it's like it's to me it's just you're just locked in and it's the best so it's a those podcasts and the history is dank podcast for just uh legend you know dropping the history knowledge those are the those are my favorite podcasts so it is fun yeah infotainment i love that type of shit yeah it was it was amazing we listened to it on our drive from chicago to grand rapids yeah and like every 10 minutes i was like that's the smartest thing i've ever heard and like

yeah louis historical knowledge yeah he knows about every president. And like, you know, he's a genius. And Aaron, you mentioned when I mentioned that, that he's not a genius at not jacking off in front of chicks. I see that to you, but he is a,

I'm in the horsepower that guy has in his brain. Yeah. And then when he gets to the modern presidents, he contextualizes it all in a way that I don't know how many individuals could do that. It's insane. Yeah. I can't wait. I'm half way through the second. you told me about it uh yesterday i downloaded them i forgot yeah it was refreshing too because he he talks about them as people like how their

character and stuff not their politics per se smart framing yeah which is like you know he talks about obama and george w bush he just talks about like like george like george w bush like really believed in free speech and could take a joke and that's why he respected about Obama and George W. Bush. He just talks about like George W. Bush really believed in free speech and could take a joke and that's why he respected about him and stuff. Stuff like that instead of like, oh, I don't, you know. So I like that perspective. Well, that's also interesting because then if you do want to talk about like things that they did, then it's like you can try and guess what their motivation was because you're probably not going to know,

but at least you have an inkling of like who the person is and it's like maybe they were doing that because they thought this so like what was actually driving them to do the things that they did as opposed to like they did this on this date yeah which is just boring totally and and uh wow i lost what i was gonna say and uh it's funny he's talking about he's talking about how like in america we have nerds and like cowboys the nerds get shit done or like in America we have nerds and cowboys. The nerds get shit done. Or the nerds create shit, the cowboys get shit done. And so a lot of presidents were one-term nerds, like John Quincy Adams.

They're smart and capable, but they got on offense. Everyone's like, you're a fucking nerd. Get out of here. I just thought that was hilarious. Van Buren was a huge nerd. And FDR was like a secret like cowboy right yeah he he would like um uh he would kind of clown on churchill which like churchill really wanted to be buddies with him because americans were like considered way cooler i guess and uh so he's like hey you know freder, I think we're ready to get along. I like the connection. He's like, relax.

Yeah, shit like that. It's just fun. Smart move. It's great. So yeah, history's a thing. Baby, thank you for that. Appreciate that, my dog. Just trying to make it happen.

Got a great episode coming out with our boy Grady Eldridge, who is an honorable mention for Legend of the Week. The dude brings it, dude, in the desert. Guy's a beast. But my Legend of the Week might have to be old town scottsdale yeah this is cabo i've been talking about we roll up there first of all i was jt calling out he's correct and honestly that one on there was a nice guy at the show and i lost everything anyway anyway anyway anyway some guy goes at the show because jt's like hey bro we, bro, we're going to cruise to Scottsdale. Like, we're in Tempe.

I don't realize how close all these things are. I'm like, what? Like, let's go to Mill Street. I go, how far is it? And like, there was this dude watching. And afterwards, he goes, dude, I got to see you do what JT calls you out for. You were being a bitch about that. It was hilarious.

He goes, you were being a bitch. We flew out to Tempe together. And the whole flight out unprompted you're going bro i'm partying tonight no excuses you're like you're like dude no excuses i'm raging the minute we go to party strider's like it's too far dude i was like no it was far in mill street's right there mill sick but but get what did you see when he got to scottsdale i get to scottsdale and they have i haven't seen this since club mandala when i was in cabo harbor whatever that fucking little area is called down there

outdoor completely exposed partying dude every place has a fog machine coffee shops have fog machines fucking taco stands have five there's just fog everywhere for no reason there was a dentistry place just fog yeah just dentistry we had dj music happening techno was being played there it was unbelievable dude uh everyone's raging um we we couldn't even get to that spot it was too gnarly but we go to this adjacent bar and it was fun the dance was happening it's like i like places that have like the hanger style like garage doors that open so you can like go in and outside it's flowing so that was sick as hell it wasn't too busy jt was patrolling the dance floor holding it down nice i ripped a few shots of jmo i

did get sinusitis from partying i wasn't doing any frat powder scouts honored no white lightning not doing any of that type of stuff i don't like cocaine i just like the way it smells but just not indulging uh but yeah dude ripped a few shots Maybe it was the desert heat, but got after it. And I did even call it an earlier night. You boys stayed out. True night owls. I crushed in and out on the way home. I was hammered enough where some dude was driving by.

I had an Uber ordered and he's just going, I'll give people a ride. And he looked like a trustworthy dude. And I was like, all right. Got in his car and he just looked like he was like a uber like he had an uber sign but just wanted to get cash i was like i got cash let's go and uh i was like let's go to in and out the whole time just telling me what strip club to go to and i was like bro i'm not gonna go to strip club i don't want to go to strip club he's like but this one's the best

just so you know do you think he kind of wanted to go to probably for sure he's like, but this one's the best. Just so you know. Do you think he kind of wanted to go to the trip? Probably, for sure. He's like, we can go in. I'll introduce you. He's like, 10 bucks cover. All good. Best girls. I'm like, dude, I just want In-N-Out, bro. Different vibes right now.

And he dropped me off there. And then it was great. So, fuck yeah. That was crazy. When we pulled up to Scottsdale, I was like, this is the most insane partying I've ever seen. It was like on a whole new scale. It was. It was Cabo.

You didn't feel. You were like, I can't believe they get after it this hard. was a thursday night too that wasn't even like that wasn't even peak it was crazy sick party scenes oh it's me oh my legend is a movie uh the worst person in the world good movie which was just it was lovely it's just like uh dramedy following a woman just going through different relationships and it's kind of it's told in chapters but it just moves she's messy she's cool uh it's just it's just so well done i loved it it just allowed for i mean it's just a great movie it was nominated for an oscar i hadn't i didn't seen it till this weekend and it just kicked ass i love it it's a great movie so humane so much empathy and like

you said the way it you think it's gonna go fast and then it goes slow like you can't predict where it's gonna go and at what pace these small surprises all the time oh and it's got full frontal male nudity which let's go oh there we go dude's not circumcised and he's just letting it all hang out and i was like this movie's right i want to call out the par test dude for movies whether it's got full frontal male nudity. Oh, nice. Because I think I've never seen. It always helps, in my opinion. That's true. And I knew you would agree.

40-year-old. Oh, no, no, no. Role model? No. Walking. Forgetting Sarah Marshall. Yeah. Every scene in Game of Thrones when I see a penis on fire.

Yeah. Wanderlust. Yeah. A lot of dick scene. Eastern Promises.ust yeah a lot of eastern promises oh great dick scene almost rescued that chris pine robert the bruce movie that was kind of but they don't even like it's like it's like so fast that it's like also the series normal people you see a little bit of the penis connell's penis and it's a good penis kevin bacon's dick and wild things yeah kevin bacon's dick and hollow man when he's getting transformed and they show you oh yeah that was really exciting trinidad trinobol is the toughest dick right yeah trinobol good dicks

yes yeah a movie that hurt the um what's the is it ridley scott the uh prometheus the fact that you don't see those jacked beings' penises, I think. Yeah, it's tough because they're so huge. Just let me. I'd like to see. Silverback. But made by humans. My legend of the week is myself

because yesterday me and my brother were driving My legend of the week is myself. Because yesterday, me and my brother were driving. And I just go, dude, how old do you think Aaron Sorkin is? Or I go, no. I said, me and my brother were driving. And I said, hey, dude, what year do you think Aaron Sorkin was born? I never looked this up. Started doing the math in my head.

I'm like, all right, I think A Few Good Men came out in 92. How old would a guy who wrote that play first that was on Broadway for a couple couple years b when that movie came out i go he's born in 1961 my brother looks it up 61 on the dot dude amazing it was amazing that's impressive i got so fired up my brother said you're too fired up now and i said i the last thing i said before i dropped him off i said tell everyone but i wasn't sure I could rely on you to do that so I'm just doing that I guess the year that Sarkin was born

he was just so but you did wait for him to do his legend first because he could have done it in that moment so that was good you waited yeah I had a backup

you didn't jump the gun it was good yeah which is crazy whoa interesting yeah he's got a birthday coming up a couple more weeks yeah uh chad what's your quote of the week my quote of the week comes from uh the cream master himself

aaron brungardt oh on the text thread the other day yesterday he came in with a fire text fire quote you did yeah i gotta read I was on my phone as much. About the animal? Oh, that's right, yeah. Okay. She's a civilian, so you do not salute her. Call sign, Dode. I was listening to this song on the way over here.

Ah, fuck, I think the band's, maybe his name's Choir. Maybe the song's called Severance. Might be off or flip-flopping those or something in that realm. But it was a great line.'s choir maybe the song's called severance might be off or flip-flopping those or something in that realm but it was a great line no maybe the song's called chapstick and um the band might be called severance but anyway there's a line in it that says i don't want your leather jacket i just want to taste your chapstick nice i like Yeah, give me smooches. Exactly. Chris? Mine is a buddy and his daughter's six came over last night, and we were hanging out, and she has a broken arm, and she was in a sling, and her dad was frustrated because it kept getting messed up, and he's like,

oh, I just feel like all I'm doing is taking this off and putting it on and taking it off and putting it on. And then the six-year-old goes, isn't that just life, Daddy? Whoa. Pretty poignant. Fucking A, dude. That's a crow. My daughter just takes a tray of toys, dumps them in the ground, and I clean it.

Fuck, dude. Fuckin' A. My quote of the week is, I was gonna do one from this book, but they're all too long. And I'm not even enjoying the book that much. Mine is from Everybody Wants Some, Taylor Hoechlin's character.

Tyler Hoechlin's character's a badass. And he makes a bet, and he's acting all hot shit, and he really owns it. Then he goes, he's like tyler hecklund's character is a badass and he makes a bet and he's acting all all hot shit and he really owns it then he goes he's like you like that bet he's like i love that bet he's like i mean just best day of my life until tomorrow yeah dude he's the man in that good attitude good attitude chad what's your phrase that we forget after it um nice pig bro nice mine's gonna have to just be zoe deutsch i just thought of zoe deutsch because she's in that movie that makes me want to party Zoe Deutsch

Deutsch it's like DJ's remix songs like that she's Tetra's girlfriend too really that's Tetra's girlfriend dude Tetra's the man Zoe Deutsch is awesome great actress

yeah you got excited Zoe Deutsch nice Chris what's your phrase let me hear you scream let's go dude can't go wrong mine is uh i ran into this dude i used to work with today who i'm pretty sure la has deformed and demented him into a full-blown mad man just ran into him at the park pulled his fucking huge ass motorcycle right up to the

basketball court had speakers strapped to his jeans no shirt on he's fucking shredded now he looked like i don't know straight from burning man and uh i asked him uh he's still engineering he used to be an engineer he goes no fuck engineering so that's great no fucking he was pissed wait who's this guy who is this guy uh i don't think you know him it was back when i worked at a place oh like 10 years ago he also said before i knew it was him, he said, this basketball is slippery just like that Pisces I was dating.

Dude, that's, oh man. And I clocked that before I knew it was him and I was like, I'm going to remember that for sure. Who I guess he's doming.

He said they're doing BDSM with each other. Oh really? This is all when I went over and shot some shots with him and he was really letting it rip. But he takes good care of her. He brought her gas

the other day when she ran out of it. Nice. How's his jumper? Broke. him and he was really letting it rip but he takes good care of her he brought her gas the other day when she ran out of it nice how's his jumper broke dude he was throwing the most wild passes that just kept flying past i i said it was like playing basketball with street fighter he was just throwing the ball over the court and i was like what are you gonna do after engineering he's like acting music maybe be a basketball player and then i saw him hoop and i was like i don't know man yeah nice guy though good guy shredded shredded is all get out that's tight wow all right all right dudes good draft yeah chris congrats on the dub thanks guys nice stuff bro nice dub how many dubs are you racking you're rocking dubs these days yeah it's just i haven't gotten one since the

first one and you weren't even here. Oh, yeah, you're right. I think you just make good-ass lists, maybe. I respect your game. Thanks, Todd. Fucking A. Let's go. All right.

Sick. Later, Stokers. These guys are really nice. You want to know what to do where to go When you need someone to guide you Seems to have

the girls beside you Go and see Go and see Let's go see Go and see I'm going deep I'm going deep I'm going deep I'm going deep