Going Deep with Chad and JT - EP 245 - Strider Wilson and Chris Parr Join (Appetizer Draft)

Episode Date: June 30, 2022

What up stokers! This week we're drafting appetizers.    Get 20% Off and Free Shipping with the code [GODEEP] at Manscaped.com. That’s 20% off with free shipping at manscaped.com, and use code [GODEEP].    Visit athelticgreens.com/godeep for a FREE 1 year supply of Vitamin D AND 5 FREE travel packs with your first purchase.   Get up to 20 free meals with purchase plus free shipping on your first box at HelloFresh.com/deep20 and use code deep20!

What's up Stokers, before we begin this podcast, I want to let you know that we got new tour dates coming out at ChallengeJT.com. We're going to be in Hawaii, Nashville, New York, North Carolina, South Carolina, all these good spots. Check out the ticket links at ChallengeJT.com to see if we're coming to a city near you. We're also brought to you by the legends at Manscaped. Manscaped, thank you so much for keeping our trims puted, for looking after our hogs, for making sure that our dinks are looking fresh and clean because 4th of July is coming. And oh, say can you see beautiful balls? It's around the 4th of July and you're not going bald like an eagle. That's not very patriotic of you luckily our friends over at manscape want to make sure that your stars and stripes are spangling on america's

favorite day make sure your dink is ready for the holidays because if you're gonna unwail your dong on america's birthday and you're not well trimmed you messed up bro join over four million pube patriots worldwide who trust manscape with this exclusive offer for you 20 off and free worldwide shipping with our code go deep at manscape.com this right here is the american dream all right let's start the show There's stats that say you should have like 150 acquaintances and no more than like 15 good friends. I like that. Yeah. I like Seinfeld's metrics, but...

What's his? Like four good friends. I think so. 13's even better, dude. Just fantasy football league max right yourself dude unless there's co-managers there is something funny too if it's a league it doesn't feel like as many people because you're all oriented around like yeah like a mission or like a purpose or something that bonds you it doesn't feel as overwhelming if it was like 13 distinct people

where you didn't have something all to talk about yeah it might feel more well because then you're hanging out with their friends and then that's where you start to get into the branches and then you have a lot too much going on i think la is sort of the land of acquaintances most people are you know you know if you live in a different area of la than most people you never like if someone is in like highland park never gonna see but for sure i have tons of acquaintances especially from like comedy it's like you just see people but people i hang out with regularly i'm it's like rare like dude are you gonna cook me a steak and lick my butt because i'll cross the 405 for that bro but if you ain't

doing that then hell no you know how many steaks i cook in bro's butts I lick to get them to hang out with me, dude? How many? A lot, dude. When did you start doing that? 13. This is all I've been doing. Perfect number. Yeah, it's also really sad.

Oh, yeah, I'm grilling ribeyes and licking ass. Because I've never done either with you. You've never cooked me a steak or licked my butt. Yeah, right. Here's the thing. You just ate it up. You gobbled it up so good you fell asleep. You didn't know the butt licking.

I guess we're your better friends. Yeah. Exactly. You're in that inner circle. Yeah, you guys don't need. You guys do answer. You didn't know the butt licking. I guess we're your better friends. Yeah. You're exactly in that inner circle. Yeah, you guys don't need, you guys do answer. You respond to the bat signal. I hang out with you because I like your company. It's got nothing to do with steak or butt licking.

Yeah, when you guys are busy, call up, you know, dudes like Brian D. Call up dudes like Aaron Adams. Oh, you lick Brian D's ass? Yeah, dude, dude, I lick Brian D's ass. He looks like a guy who's had his butt licked a lot, too. Oh, he knows how he likes his butt licked. Yeah, for sure. He's like, dude, you're doing it wrong.

Yeah. But he's good about probably coaching you through it. Oh, for sure. Hey, yo, yo. Exactly. Yo, lick in circles. Exactly. Exactly.

He's just so good at just saying exactly how he feels you know what I mean even to my mom man that looks amazing on you, you look great how are you feeling? and normally I'd be like what the fuck is this guy doing? but I'm like man Brian D's so cool some guys are really good and they're generally a certain kind of guy

there's like a cool guy who's got a lot of confidence and those guys give pep talks like like robie's older brother yeah he was supposed to come to a stand-up show he's like this was years ago he's like man people don't know what it takes he's not in stand up he's a real estate guy he's like people don't know what it takes to get up there every night put yourself out there risk it without fame or acclaim and just keep doing it you got to dig deep for that i was like this fucking guy's the man i think he was on blow it was inspiring he sent that to me at like 10 30 a.m i was like dude

big deal something big is brian d a real guy yeah i was playing what do you say to he's got the best dude chloe kardashian came in and you know she'd been putting in the workouts on instagram and stuff and was looking good and he gets her door and stuff she hops out of her white range over she's wearing all white and like she walks around and like we're all kind of just watching this happen we're like whoa and brian d just takes a beat and goes by the way you look gorgeous she was like okay thanks this is like years ago but he delivered it easy oh super easy super confident and she like couldn't second guess it like you could feel like she wanted to be like wait what and then she was like all right well thank you wait give me some of that i had good

flirty banter with the uh lady at the hotel Oh, baby. We were in Dallas, freaking in Plano. And we check in. We get there around 8 p.m. at night. We get in there. And, dude, the lady working the front desk, the front desk agent, giving JT all sorts of rhythm, dude. I'm serious, dude. JT's like, because we asked a normal question, like, hey, we're looking to eat.

We're like, where should we go? And she's like, well, what's your vibe? And JT's like, oh, cool. He's like like, hey, we're looking to eat. We're like, where should we go? And she's like, well, what's your vibe? Like, you see him, and JT's like, oh, cool. He's like, I don't know. I don't want to pigeonhole myself. Like, what do you think we're into? You know what I mean? I was like, what do you think our vibe is?

Yeah. And she nailed it. She goes, well, there's this computer cafe where you can play Call of Duty. I swear to God, she did. No, she did, really? Yeah, we're like, we're not PC guys, but that sounds really sick.

But we ended up going in and out. But you got to say how we say we go. We go, we're not really PC guys, but that sounds really sick. But you got to say how we say we go. We go, we're not really PC guys, but that sounds sick. Exactly. Dude, I'm sitting there like chopped liver, dude. The whole time I'm like, okay, this is good. Dude, it was unreal, bro. Dude, and she like kept smiling, like hanging, like taking a beat and just smiling, kind of staring at JT.

I was like, dude, this is, and look, JT looks fit, looks great. Like well-deserved. Thank you. You look really good. Thank you. Yeah, you look look really good thank you yeah you look bronzed thank you i noticed when i came in and when we were in texas we went it's gonna be i'll just do it now it's gonna be my baby of the week but we went to like a little barbecue joint in between dallas and houston nicest people in the world when you get in there texas people

so friendly and then we're leaving and there's this older black dude who you can tell is like was like a house back in his day and he just looks at strider and he goes he played quarterback dude yeah dude i had to look at him i go so sorry sir i'm the biggest little bitch you'll ever meet i played volleyball he's like it didn't even register he's like wait so you back up quarterback but he was so nice he went through his stats we had like a nice conversation with this guy talking about sports dude he shows a picture of him back in the day like from a newspaper article bro and he was so nice he went through his stats we had like a nice conversation with this guy talking about sports dude he shows a picture of him back in the day like from a newspaper article and he's so big do you think like his dimensions he's probably six two probably weighed like he played running back dn he looked like he was like 260 back in the day yeah like he was like an earl

campbell type yeah and then he uh he said it was either him or his brother outran bullet bob hayes who was my baby of the week one time it's like one of the fast fast guy ever playing the nfl and he said he outran him in jeans one time and there's like a little newspaper article about it so awesome it was like that dennis quaid movie the everybody's all american right dude that's awesome what's the other one when he goes back to college the quarterback he's like throwing stuff in the farm and with kathy ireland yeah what is that movie with the guy um yeah necessary roughness scott bacula thank you harry good cool good pool scott bacula that's a great movie wait can i do the intro oh sorry um what's up stokers of stoke nation this is chad kroger coming in with the going deep

challenge at podcast we already started running but Kroger coming in with the Going Deep with Chad JT podcast. We already started running, but I'm going to come in with this intro because I'm here with my compadre, Jean-Thomas. What up? Boom clap, Stokers. We're here with the coxswain of consummation. Oh, dude. I'm putting that on my business card.

I'm pretty fired up to let that one off, yeah. Oh, let's go, dude. Yeah, because you get married but you consummate that thing oh i will 50 of couples don't consummate the bond do they really be making up for those stats they're too multiple times you didn't you did it twice the next day to make up for it right big time you didn't have good enough pics that night to make you cream did you and becca have sex after your wedding no. See, it was a rager, dude. Oh, yeah, you're exactly right.

I didn't bone after your wedding. I was housing those fucking... Ooh, I don't want to say what I was housing because it might be on my appetizer list, but I was housing some shit. It was bank.

We're here with the pharaoh of fun, Chris Parr. Let's go, dude. That's what I was trying to figure out because you both can't be married. You're Mr. Fun. Your't be married you're you're mr fun your relationship thank you you're the compadre that's really sweet dude it's you're nailing it you have a great vision for that you have vision dude yeah it's true you can feel it

when he says it that there's like uh it's building something there's a world in it thank you dudes yeah world building you're great at world building did you play Sims growing up did you ever make them fuck now I played were rollercoaster tech in yeah that was that's a fun that's world did you ever be a psycho and let a roller coaster not and all the time off all the time yeah he was a little 2 a.m. making him puke when they just go you don't have trash cans or oh you have to get janitors man those are the best when you fucking build shit yeah that's good stuff all right back to it we're drafting today we have a great great draft uh topic it was presented to us by a super sweet

lady in royal oak michigan she came up to us at the meet and greet and said you guys got to do appetizers and uh instantly me and chad were like whoa this is like mana from god like that's perfect and so we're really excited about this couple rules up front we're not doing bread you can do french fries but it has to have something on top of it but the bread can be if it's like a specialty kind of thing where it has like kind of toppings on it if it's like baked in this but it's sort of like not just plain bread and butter it can involve bread and bread can be the base but we need a little bit more than just a basket you get grottis at a lot of places do grottis very well and then no salads no no salads a starter because I

guess although there are some types yeah yeah yeah i guess with the app look if it's individualized i guess the main thing is we want it to be uh shared apps shareable exactly yes that's that's kind of a base criterion yeah that's great you laid it out perfect and we're really excited can't break those rules i'm gonna come out of the gates hot i going to sandbag Strider way quicker than normal. He says he doesn't even have a list. I'm just going off of my taste. Dude, so you don't have anything written down?

It's all right here. It's stuff I've ordered in the past. Stuff you ordered in the past. Stuff I've digitalized, you know. Yeah. Experiences I've had. You're insane, bro. Bro, you are mad Rick and Todd.

Dude, I'm second guessing everything, bro. P everything the outside of the envelope this is crazy this might be the benders this might be the benders night maybe this could happen you know what i mean yeah maybe you you're quick extemporaneous that might be the way for you does that mean i feel something oh i want to get those yeah i think instincts am i buttering you up like bread you can't pick i think instincts are your asset in this don't think don't think just do i agree because if you yeah i was already overthinking yeah all right well let's uh let's odds are even in boys here we go i'm scared all right i'm gonna close my eyes for this one two three i always go last all right fuck I hate going back to back

1, 2, 3 all twos 1, 2, 3 1, 2, 3 if that happens new rule I go first next time I think you guys do that again that was very quick 1, 2, 3 Do that again. You guys do it again. We do it again. Do it again. One more time.

I'm doing it. That was very quick. All right. One, two, three. Oh, no. Woo-hoo. The Pharaoh. This is always the order, kind of. So paper, rock, scissors, shoot.

All right. Paper, rock, scissors, shoot. Okay, I'm number one. Whoa. Damn, dude. I needed number one in this draft. Holy shit. Going back to back is, you know. It's so hard. I think I had number one in'm number one. Damn, dude, I needed number one in this draft. Holy shit. Going back to back is, you know.

It's so hard. I think I had number one in the last one. All right, I'm going to come out of the gates. It's my number one. I've enjoyed it forever. We were on comms last night playing Call of Duty, and it was the one that came off of people's tongues the quickest. And, yeah, I think it's a home run i'm

going with calamari nice nice it's it's crazy shareable it's it's hilarious that it's squid that that's like the most popular appetizer in the world but it works at a ton of different restaurants it's easy to pick at it's got variety in how it's served my for my personal taste i love it when it's the like the one that's got the legs on it. You know what I mean? I don't like the circular ones as much. I like the ones where it's kind of bunched up and looks like almost like an animal cauliflower or something like that, if that makes sense.

I can picture what you're talking about. I'm going with that. It's got good versatility with the dipping sauces. You can go with white sauces. You can go with red sauces. And then sometimes, me and my uh gf hold me close we she just put some lime on it the other day oh that's what i was gonna nothing better than citrus i gave her some i gave her a little little grief for it but it was playful i

was like she's like do you like lime on i went no as she was squeezing it but i was fucking with it dude that's what always happens when you do kalmar you go it's usually it's lemon and you go is it chill to put lemon on this oh i think it think it was lemon. You know what I mean? People go, and then they go, ooh, half. Yeah, everyone has a different way of dispersing sauce. Are you a tartar sauce guy? I love it. Yeah, it's so good.

I love tartar sauce. And it's a good thing it works for most people. Although, I guess there's a good chunk of people who are just turned off by the squid of it. But if you didn't tell them it was squid, they'd never know. Yeah, they'd hate it. They'd be in heaven. It's just deep red goodness. Yeah, breathing.

So I'm going with the calamari. All right, number two. So with this draft, I'm going to go with things that excite me the most when I see them on the menu and I go for right away. This thing is the thing I always, whenever I see it on the menu, you know daddy's going for it.'m going with the pokey tower whoa oh yeah very interesting very personal yeah this is very this is a personal decision the tower why the tower yeah because it's like pokey and like a pyramid then you got some like sometimes you got some avocado on top maybe some guac and then you got these these i don't know what kind of chips they

are but these kind of chips where you can just, you know, you're eating. Wontons. Wontons, yes. And it's like you're eating like pokey nachos without the cheese. But if they put some like togarashi sauce on there, maybe some ponzu, dude. I was going to say some ponzu. Yeah. Ponzu, like I never really, I always talk about ponzu, but I never really knew the talk about ponzu but i never really knew the difference

between ponzu and uh what's the other one soy sauce not soy sauce there's another sauce that they use but ponzu out of all the sauces in terms of asian cuisine is my favorite sauce nice i love this so the tanginess the tangy is it's not as salty as soy so if you put some ponzu on there and Poketower, just fucking fires me up. You know what I like about it, too? Light. Light, yeah. There's apps. Some apps will sink you.

Yeah, it's guilt-free. It's not a sinker. That one, you're fresh afterwards. If you're getting a big-ass steak or a big pasta or whatever you're doing, you know, you go to Houston's, you got a lot of directions you can go after that. Dance floor, that's on the table. It's a sexy app. Fish is a sexy app. It's a sexy app.

And it's fun to say when you get to the table and you see on the menu, like, should we get a Poketower or anyone? Everyone's just like, yeah. And it's exciting to look at. That's a big part of appetizers is it's fun to look at. And when you see the tower, and look, I can't, we'll come to it later of appetizers is it's fun to look at and when you see the tower yeah and look i can't we'll come to it later because i'm sure it's coming up uh two seafoods off the off the table right now you're having a huge change i don't know

yeah i don't know if we lost the midwest there but yeah a lot of seafood well i hope i bring them back because i'm gonna go i looked at your lid oh oh whoa savage I'm going to go with nachos there you go there you go I mean you can't go wrong here hey partner you can't go wrong are you going to get specific

or just nachos because I also like like are we going fully loaded is what I think you got all nachos but now tell us the nachos that you do well I guess

you motherfucker chicken classic I feel like that's the one that gets ordered the most because it's not as yes like if you have the option for like a carne asada like steak every time yeah but i feel like most of the time it's like people you end up getting because when you're out with a group of people it's like all right chicken isn't going to offend anybody you know what i mean like let's just go with that but really the thing is like it's just everything because then it's not you get cheese sour cream guacamole hopefully and then you know beans and then it's also it's also fun you know you also got to watch other people to make sure

they're not grabbing all the best ones you know what i mean because then you might need to hurry up and start grabbing all the good ones because the cheese isn't everywhere just basically they're not going to take the time to really distribute all the ingredients evenly so that everyone gets to it so you get you get to have fun kind of picking around and doing different combinations which is so fun it's a big thing that just sits in the middle of the table and everyone reaches in and it's covered in cheese i mean what else could you want yeah i you know i found a google search that i haven't thought about is pulled pork nachos pulled pork you can end the versatility with what you can do because it's like you start with chips and cheese yeah and then just throw a bunch of shit on there and i think the perfect

chip is you don't want one in the core because they get too sogged and weighed down you don't want one on the crust because they don't have enough shit on them you want that mantle chip that's got some stuff and you can maybe put it on put in some other stuff on it if you're feeling greedy but it's still got good integrity yeah well like sometimes i'll grab that chip like the clean one and then like put it on top of a soggy one sandwich it pull that out so that you get all the ingredients that were on top of the soggy one but then you have that crunch from the top one yeah And is there anything more disappointing than the bottom of a chip bag when it's all crumbled

and there's not a good size silver dollar chip still in there? And it's against, that part of the bag is just for one person. That's nice, but you're not sharing that because you're going like this. You're licking your fucking finger and getting it. That's when you're hungry on a road trip. Was there anything more fun too

as a kid making your own nachos? Dude! you get like tostitos you get all the cheese you know you i would i would do it in layers you know i put like a layer down the plate throw the cheese on there bunch of cheese then more chips more cheese and i'll dump tostito salsa on there put it in the microwave so it it zaps the salsa? Bro. What up? Yeah, we would do barbecue chicken. Whoa. Dude. That was like cheese, barbecue, and then just shredded chicken. Yeah.

Because we picked it up from that restaurant that was in between Alpine and Jackson, right? Oh, is that where it was from? I didn't even remember that. You were young, dude. You had a little dude. You were still pulling your pants and sucking my mom's tits. Just embarrassing yourself. Facts, dude.

Definitely embarrassing. I loved every minute of it. Not ashamed. Dude, hey, we were all there. You know what I mean, dude? Strider, you got two picks now, bro. I know. It's tough to go back to back.

But I'm going to go with something that's really dank and mixing it up here. I'm going to go with the fully loaded potato skin. Dude, I knew you'd say that. I thought it was coming back to me. I didn't think it would go first round. I thought it would come back to me. It's a first round pick, dude. It's one of those apps.

Damn it. It's one of those apps that you see and you go. Everyone, they look at each other they're at the table they go they go what do we want to get well i see there's a list or that i want to burn anything and then everyone sees the potato skins and they go are we doing it yeah and you go we're fucking doing it it's fucking got cheese baked on it sour cream if you want it crumbled with bacon and then guess what you want ranch or barbecue boom go ahead and dip it or some fun sauce i don't even know about that they do there even though i'm a ranch guy

fucking so dank dude so dank and it's each it's a it's a big thing so there's like four of them generally yeah they shut you down so if you're like at a if you're doing like a 12 person dinner you got to grab them quick because they'll be off and you don't want to cut them in half you want to do the whole thing no just let me but i like a big individual piece for a person as do i i like where it's almost like it almost feels like half a potato but it's not it's like got some potato in there it's just got a little they just hollow it out just a touch and then yeah a mistake i think in potato skins when they put the guac in it i don't don't want it what are you doing mixing up no no no

this is gonna be this is gonna be my beef was non-traditional potato skins people are putting like so many things that I like

but it's like I don't need pulled pork I don't need like taco meat in it like just give me cheese bacon

scallions and sour cream yeah no California potato skins yeah yeah Just give me cheese, bacon, scallions, and sour cream. Scallions, yeah. That's it. No California potato skins. Yeah, yeah. You don't need to put your spin on it. Yeah, get out.

Avocado put on too much stuff. I love avocado, but it doesn't need to be on everything. Even though it can go with everything. I got to agree with you. Shredder, you're in a strong position right here. Thank you. You got a huge first pick. And I get this back. I know you're in a strong position right here. Thank you.

And I get this back right now. I was convinced I was going to get potato skins on the way back. For me, it's so dank. And, well, we've talked about this in the past. I know how much this group enjoys potato skins. Yeah. Well, it's harder to find standard potato skins now. Yeah, it could be like a steakhouse or like one of those, you know, like a Cheesecake Factory or some shit.

You know that pick? That's the one that's going to give Joe Morisi wood. Oh, he'll get a fat, fat boner. Yeah, the Midwest is back with the potato skin pick. Yeah. I think it's his favorite appetizer. I think he's talked about it. Is that true?

I think so. Whoa. Oh. Yeah. Okay. If you can fill up that hog. Okay. There's a few ways I could go here and this is really difficult this is hard

i feel like aaron's i'm getting i'm getting him to cream his pants a little bit but there's a few ways to go do i want to go cuisines do i want to mix up this list i don't know and i think since i went potato skins i'm just just going to go heavy hitter, just fucking dank ass, motherfucking apps, okay? And I'm going to come straight back and this is a little bit of a Ben's. You guys might burn me right now. Actually, no, no, I can't

do it. I can't do it. I can't do it. Do it. Do it. I gotta wait. I can't. I gotta wait to Ben. You got me so excited. I think it's going to come back. I think it's going to come back. It's going to come back to me. It's going to come back to me. I can't burn it now. I can't burn it now because it's going to come back. You're going to come to come back. It's fucking hot as hell over here. It's going to come back to me. It's going to come back to me. I can't burn it now. I can't burn it now. Because it's going to come back. You're going to come back. You rubbed my clit for 20 seconds and then said, hey, I'm going to go make a smoothie.

I'm about to come. I'm about to come. I need to go watch a little bit more of a football. You're not doing the one that was on your mind? I forgot to send that email. I'll be right back. And I'm just in bed. You're like, don't move.

Don't move. I'll be back. All right, here we go. And this is me being a little bit competitive. I'm going with the onion ring tower. You get this at Yard House. It's onion rings, very fucking dank. I love onion rings.

Once again, you're dipping them in the sauce. And it's just something that I love. I will always get the onion rings. I like to get them by the pool. If it's a summer day, dude, and I'm hanging out, give me those fucking onion rings you got a heavy list you got a heavy list oh yeah this is you ain't dancing with my sink in us yeah you ain't fucking this is the night yeah this is your last meal you're not fucking if you're on death row order this meal and go out on top baby you can still get blown you can always get blown when you're eating my apps baby

but can you can you cross the 405 and eat an ass that's not a bad night no you can't eat ass you can't eat ass oh i would not recommend going near anyone's ass who's gone near my list don't go because it's going to be real weird coming out mine's ass friendly yours is ass friendly all right baby think about it. That's it. Yeah, you're a sophisticated guest. Full disclosure. You can eat my ass. I'm a little disappointed in my drinks.

What? Sorry. You're disappointed? It's all good. Dirt tank. All right. Are we talking eating ass? Yeah, well, I just said you can eat my ass.

Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Thank you. Fuck. Do you want some steak? What do you want? Flank? Rib eye? flank rib eye that's good yeah i don't know new york oh yeah new york strip

i guess just a new york strip just new york cut i'm gonna go with wings oh there you go this is this is a fastball baby dude staple city over here yeah yep i don't this is a good list this is a good list bro this is a good list i just like medium to hot um but are these buffalo wings buffalo wings yeah yep yep so if someone wants to go boneless later you know and to the aliens out there that's chicken bone uh they're messy which is super fun you know you can get competitive with them eating hotter ones and hotter ones yep it's a fun interactive thing trying to get all the meat off the bone you can make fun of your front is you know whoever you're with to be like you didn't even finish it dude like you're not even like what is that you suck because they is you know whoever you're with to be like you didn't even finish it dude

like you're not even like what is that you suck because they're you know they're prissy about how they go about you know carving it off and really cleaning up the bone it's just think it's fun and it's just a good one to get you know you're slamming beers you're watching the game you're having some wings you know it's the quintessential it's the quintessential appetizer yes and i think you're it is really interesting the two prong wing you know the two bone wing yes i didn't even know you can when you see someone who's good at eating them and can break them apart and i didn't learn that until i was probably i don't know 30 i learned that right now really eat a wing yeah yeah and then the drumsticks are always fun and then you got ranch and blue cheese and it usually comes with i like celery a lot also it's just more ranch which is

nice it usually comes with it you know obviously not the star um no vegetable is going to be on this but uh yeah they're delicious when you get good sauce and you just make a mess and you just can't can't stop oh i got buffalo wings the other night and they it was bad sauce i was like what's going on here there's nothing more offensive the color of the sauce is great too you just get that bright like orange yeah that fire orange is it new york is it buffalo new york is that what they call that that's where they invented the sauce do you remember when i tried to do the buffalo wings challenge with buffalo wild wings yeah it was such a bad idea because like you don't you don't love spicy that much and he went to do the challenge you know and it's like a certain time limit to eat however many of like they're

like whatever level wings they are very hot and you probably put down one in like the allotted 12 minutes. And took my shirt off. That's how hot the one was? Yeah, and then five minutes after he goes, I think I'm going to do it again. He wouldn't let me. He goes, no, you're not doing that again. Yeah, you don't deserve the attention that it's going to give you. Because they do like a whole parade to be like, somebody's going for it.

You know what I mean? Just to have you put up one amazing it was such a weak score that it was like dude you're good just like order some wings that you might enjoy you know wings wings are those good picks what's your list right now nachos and wings wow bro i mean i mean if someone's having a Super Bowl party, you're in first place. Yeah. All right, my pick. This one I think is a universal cream. Once they're on the table, you cannot resist. You got to eat them.

And oftentimes it's a fight to the finish. Who's going to get the last one because they're so delicious. You just can't stop mozzarella sticks. Nice. Very nice. Very nice. They're always dank, always good. I remember in college they had mozzarella sticks at like the local at like our little snack bar thing you get hammered you get some

matzo sticks and you just eat them until you're passed out it's the best melted cheese with bread around it oh and then you put the the sauce of marinara love marinara so anything that's just i mean it's bread it's cheese and it's marinara it's always good sometimes you you get a fancy one where you can't even pick it up because it's thick and you cut into it. Oh. And you've got to eat it with a fork. Yeah. And then the cheese oozes out.

Yeah. Yeah. I'm giving this to you as well. Dude, some places don't do the sticks. They just give you a block. Yeah. Bro. Don't.

Just fried mozzarella. Yes. But it's the same. Chow pasta. It's the same. It's the same thing. It's the same deal. It's the same. It's the same thing. It's the same deal. It's so good.

If I wanted to be a dick, I would pick fried mozzarella to try and get in on that. I know. But that's one that's just all... Because it's just, yeah, it's just like a square of mozzarella. Dude, yeah.

What's your list now? Pokey Tower and mozzarella sticks. That's fine. Wow. So good. Also when you're in college, you can just purchase them and frozen in the freezer and just heat them up at your house and just eat them alone and deal with your emotions.

It's great. The floor for mozzarella sticks is very high. Yeah, they're great. You know, it's like, who fucks that up? Yeah, because is it still breaded cheese with the marinara sauce? Yeah, I think I'm fine. Yeah. And then no matter the

thickness of the tube your consistency on mozzarella sticks is insane it's unreal yeah i mean how often do you get bad mozzarella sticks i've never i've never cared i think it's impossible so this is the shittiest mozzarella stick i've ever had yeah we should probably get another order exactly dude um all right i got two picks i I'm going to go... This is another one. I was literally going to say this. I don't think I've ever had a bad version of it.

I'm going to go with sliders. Yeah. Nice. I almost did that smart. I wanted something filling. They're always good. Someone could... They could do it fancy. I'm playing 4D chess here always good someone could you know i could do it fancy i'm playing 4d chess here but someone could do like you know i'm gonna go with like hamburger sliders but someone could

do the shredded pulled pork sliders or the shredded barbecue beef sliders and those are all fried chicken phenomenal phenomenal but i'm just gonna go with the straight up burger ones my way of doing it i love it with a hawaiian bun oh yeah king's hawaiian just gets me so psyched but yeah i love sliders and the thing i like about sliders is you get a hamburger but you don't feel like the caloric guilt of a full hamburger like i just had two sliders i'm rocking and rolling yeah i'm staying lean and mean and then for my next pick could we just talk about how sliders are also so cute yeah they're just like it's a burger but tiny like how adorable is that anytime it just gets smaller but it's the same proportion so that's so cute dude like when i

i didn't really know what sliders were until harold and kumar came out white castle and they're like hey they have little mini burgers i like, that looks like the most amazing thing I've ever seen. Everyone's trying to go bigger. What if we went smaller? Some places, they put them on the Bloody Mary. Places that go really elaborate. It's like a crab claw and a slider and a celery.

You had Vegas places. I don't know what you're talking about. It's wild. You get a mason jar. I forget where it is. But you get a mason jar, and part of the drink it's like 25 bucks has a slider on this you know like this you know like on the stick outside you know it's like it's absurd usually like it's just an umbrella with a pineapple this is like all these things dude i still don't think i get it

that sounds cool yeah um sounds cool. Yeah. Um, for my next pick going light, super basic. It's not going to excite anyone. But what I like about this is it works every time. It's always a value add. I'm going chips and guac. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I almost went that with my number two pick. Yeah. That's how standard that is. But it doesn't excite you. That's the thing about chips and guac. It never excites the table, but it's an automatic. You get it every time. If someone just goes, especially if you've got a group

and you don't know what everyone's sensibility is, you can just say chips and guac and no one blinks. That's another thing that you feel good about eating guac. It's light. It's avocado. You're like, this isn't bad. This is good. Especially when they make in like the little mortar and fucking pistol like you go to some like fancy place yeah and they do it there yeah that's great and you know i actually like

chips and salsa more but that kind of comes with it though but the that's i was kind of hoping for that thank you is that you got to get the bread thing that's accepted gratis as he said you didn't have to do that man it's very magnanimous no no no but you need the you got to order the guac i was going to do the same thing it's genius you think you're a smart man chips and guac is an appetizer that you can get while everyone figures out what appetizers they want to get right you know because everyone's just like oh yeah we'll just start with that it takes two seconds correct that's what i like about it is that if you don't even know what you want yet, but you want to get some momentum going You just go hey chips and guac and everyone's like, all right. Yeah, we're out of the gates now

We can build up send it and it's ready to go waiters should almost come and go Are you guys gonna be morons tonight and not get chips and guac and then he goes no one answers All right, I'll bring it out. Yeah, it's it doesn't define where you're going Meal wise whereas some of the other ones, but that's what makes it fun too. If you come in and you go sliders, everyone's like, okay, we're partying. We're fucking getting after it.

Chips and guac versatility. If you're grilling burgers and dogs and someone had chips and guac, great. It doesn't just have to be at a Mexican restaurant. You can bust it out anytime. Ordering apps is just so exciting. You're great at it. It's true.

You made fun of me one time. I know, I know. I was just too hungover. No, it was so funny, though. Because JT has a motion, dude. We were at a restaurant. I go, I forget what I got. It might have been...

Crepes. Crepes. I go, we're going to get the strawberry crepes. And I did a circular motion with my head. I go, that's going to be for the table. And then Strider goes, for like seven people and the waitress he goes you fucking virgin Remember I was just so cranky I think like I just sleep in like the RV or something I was just well cranky I think like I was sleeping like the RV or something I was just purely hurt people hurt people and I was having a lot of fun I was really turning it into theater

yeah and I just go yeah it's gonna be for everybody and then uh shutter just fucking about I knew you were gonna bring the hammer down it was deserved it was great but you know it's always a good call when you do that oh Chad uh all right this next one is what I get it every time I go to a comedy club where we're performing and and I got to go with a dip, and I love it, and I just, I can bathe in this shit. Spinach artichoke. Dude, dude, that's what I was going to do. That's a better pick, dude.

I love it so much. And it's spinach artichoke, and you're like, although. It's a cream,'s a cream but yeah it's a cream but this is good honestly it's like i feel like i know it's like a cream it's cheese and stuff but the fact that it's spinach and artichoke i'm like it's kind of guilt-free yes even though you just eaten dude but i love it dude yeah and munch it down it's so hard actually every time i perform it in improv i'll get it and it, and I'll have it there waiting until after I get off stage to eat it. Very hard to resist, but it's such a treat.

Now, what's your preferred dipping item? Do you like the chip more or do you like the pita bread? Chip. I'm not a big pita bread. I think pita bread's too thick. Sometimes it's nice when they make it a little crisp. When they make it crispy. Toasted points.

Toasted. Toasted. Toasted. Those are... Yeah. If it's doughy. I'm even going to go as far as to say, since it's on the table already, and some people even put crab in there sometimes and mix it up.

So I think you even get that as part of your pick. Thank you so much. Not really what I enjoy, but that's sick. Dude, thank you. I like the crab one on the perimeter. When it's got the crunch to it, that adds something. Chris? I'm actually...

Fuck, dude. I got some ideas, dude. Oh, man. I'm looking at one menu. We're all pulling from the same options. There's not as many curveballs so far, but maybe that fourth pick's going to get a little far. I'm going to pick soup.

Tomato, barley. You pick a bad soup. Multiple spoons. You pick a bad soup, dude. Don't fucking do that, dude. Don't pick a bad soup. I thought there were going gonna be a lot more bends i guess it's hard it's just so dank dude there's a lot of good ones there's so many

we take it too serious you know this one yeah this is like uh sacred uh crab cakes nice nice nice nice not the best for sharing but not not bad. Not bad. You know, personally, I'd rather just order for myself. First fork option. First forkable. And I wanted some seafood, but it's still not healthy. You know, it's like, and you can do a variety of sauces, which is always just like, it's one of the biggest things for me in appetizers, just the variety of condiments and shit that you can get on it. And all the sauces are good, you know, like whatever kind of aioli.

Or you can just go straight tartar sauce, which is wonderful. And done right, you know, you get crab texture, but it can also get, like, a little bit of crunch on the outside. And I really love crab, and it's just kind of... And I really love crab, and it's just kind of – crab is fancy, but it's kind of just like your more basic version of it that's just pleasing. Dude, the name too, crab cakes. When I first heard that name, I was like, whoa. The name is so enticing.

It's so tasty. Delicious. They're so good too. And on a cuteness scale, nice presentation. And also, again, like the mozzarella sticks, I don't mind when they just give you one big crab cake but it's like really well put together it's got that nice flakiness on the on the shell where you're just like it's fucking things just when you put that fork into it you're satisfied already for sure yeah it's nice it can come in medallions which are cute

it can come bigger you get a lot of variety yeah and uh yeah they're always fucking dank that's the thing about apps too i was thinking about like uh at the wedding before you sit down at a dinner at the dinner table when they're just floating around with the trays yeah hors d'oeuvre style like crab cakes work well for those when they got the little thing in them what other options have we done that they do pokey a lot at weddings now right yeah i think they'll do like or like um crispy fried rice with like tuna on top. I feel like it's a classic one because you get, because the crispy fried rice is like a block that's easy for people to grab, you know.

Mini crab cakes are, I mean, they'll come like this. It's just like a little dot of something on it. There's something else that I might pick, but I don't know if it quite qualifies. Appetizer also, it's putting us all into a very friendly mood. I know. There's not as much animal competition in this one. Well, not even specific to the animal draft, but I don't feel as pissed off.

It's so delicious. It's more of a communal thing. Appetizers just put you in a good mood. Ooh, I want that. I'm in a bad mood having an appetizer. When someone pulls the trigger on appetizers when put you in a good mood yeah i want that when someone pulls the trigger on appetizers when you're going to eat it's like a it's like a relief there's a collective relief it's like okay we're gonna we're gonna actually do this because we're having fun yeah yeah and it's like okay great like yeah it's nice when somebody just takes the lead and it's like what

if we just ordered like four yeah yeah or like or i like when people do the move of like oh well it only comes with that many we're gonna want more let's get two of those yeah yeah or like or i like when people do the move of like oh well it only comes with that many we're gonna want more let's get two of those yeah i do hate it when it's like dude the double up on the app on like the one where it's like you know everyone's gonna love that one let's not be fighting over and feeling like we didn't get enough we'll just get two or a place that doesn't like love and like gives you three in an order it's like give me four when i'm on a date yeah don't make me or like have to split the one four should be even numbers yeah and dude gives you three in an order. It's like, give me four when I'm on a date. Yeah. Don't make me, or like have to split the one. Four should be even numbers.

Yeah. And dude, if you're going to dinner with like, you know, if you're going to do it, like someone's like dad, you know that they're paying. Yeah.

And it's like, sort of like, what can I, and they order appetizers. You're like, all right, thank God. That's legit.

Thank God. You trust the guy more. Yeah. He's a good fucking guy. He's a good guy. He's a good man guys order what you want you know what i mean let's start with this and this and this yeah that's the way they can say that but then you don't know because if you're like all right oh i i want some appetizers you're

like am i coming off you know there's a lot of it might be in pushy it might be in pushy yeah or if her dad orders like three starters but but they're all for him, you're like, this fucking guy's got an ego on him. Dude, yes. I got to contend with this dude. Yeah. All right. You guys ready? Is it my turn? Yeah, you got two.

No, last one. No, I got two. Oh, sorry. Back to back. And then you guys all go. Are you going to do the one that you're thinking of earlier? No, I might not make my list. I want to hear it.

Because I just thought of one. It was organic. You got to tell us after. And this is so dank. The vegetable will be the star of this show. And it's the grilled Brussels sprouts with the balsamic and the bacon on it, dude. Those are so dank. Is that an app or a side?

No, it's an app. It's an app. And I know specifically I get it at Laurel Tavern. And it's one of the best things ever. It comes in a basket. Very dank, dude. I just felt this is a really small basket. He's holding up the size.

Oh, yeah, yeah. It's smaller than a coaster. It's a small basket. I have little tiny hands. I don't know if that's a shirt. Tiny hands and small penis, dude. Hey, guys, what happened to our fun mood?

You know what I mean? We're all hanging out. No, no, I'm kidding. Yeah, just turn it on the dime. It'll fucking kill you, bro. And I fucked my list with Aaron. But, dude, those Brussels sprouts,

if you've ever had them, have you guys never had like a Brussels sprout? No, I've never had a Brussels sprout. I'm 34, man. Yeah, have you had the dank fucking app with the bacon on it and the balsamic? It's amazing. Bro, it's great.

What's going on? Nothing wrong with Brussels sprouts. Brussels sprouts are amazing. I don't know if they're still around, but they have some of the best ones ever. Or like date sauce on a Brussels sprout. Some sort of glaze. No, I love Brussels sprouts. It's a great order. It always works. They're always good. And the way you're describing it with all that stuff,

the best. That's why. The bacon is amazing. I would put it in the cream spinach category, which is a side. Wait, cream spinach is not a side? Oh, oh, oh. That's like an artichoke dip. If it's not a dip, it's a side. I'm saying like steakhouse cream spinach. You know what I mean? Oh, yeah. That's a a side i put brussels sprouts in that same category even

if they're done yeah is asparagus a side or an appetizer uh i mean i've if you order at lord tavern you can get it as an app if you wrap yeah at lord tavern you get it as an app that's what i'm thinking of right yeah very much in that category yeah it's an app if the presentation is like says that if the presentation comes out in like a a tray basically of like yeah you share it yeah he did this also have you been to bakari have you been to bakari i've been to bar bakari yeah i yeah i go to bakari everything there is to share tapas style app style boom after three drinks i'm there in the outdoor section thank you it's not an app bro they got him there decide dog whoa dude this is why i was second guessing everything thank you i'm second guessing everything although i ordered it as an app at laurel tavern it comes as an app

man after we had this nice spiel about how it wasn't gonna get vicious we were all doing so well you're testing me dog God's testing me right now. All right. What's your next pick? So my number four is going to be, and I'd like variations here on this if I could, because we had some variations in the past or of other styles, but I'm going with the egg roll. Oh, nice. Nice. That's a good one.

Egg roll is dank. And because you can get an avocado egg roll at Cheesecake Factory, a Tex-Mex egg roll is dank and because you can get an avocado egg roll at cheesecake factory a tex-mex egg roll you can get like all sorts of fun fucking barbecue chicken egg roll you can really fucking diversify oh bro they bastardize everything and i love it so six thousand items when you're looking for appetizers the first place i went to to look for like my baseline of what an appetizer was was the cheesecake yeah it's so dude 100 because you know they're not going to be missing anything exactly uh so yeah and those are so dank and look even if i don't get the variations which i would like when you're out and you're getting chinese food you're getting egg rolls it's the chips and

guac of getting chinese food when you're ordering and it's that and there's one other one that's really dank that i won't say in case anyone does it but uh yeah that's it baby i love it it's kind of it's fucking fried this last one's gonna be tough yeah i don't know oh especially me i'm gonna turn on all you guys you better hit fastballs i went easy on you i'm coming dude it's an app bro i'm Dude, it's an app, bro. I'm telling you, it's an app. Thank you, Aaron.

It's a fucking app. It's a fucking app. I'll save it for an app, bro, because it's unbecoming. Wait, what do you order a side of Brussels sprouts with? Everything.

Dinner. I've never done that. You've been doing it your whole life. You just know you've been doing it. I've never had a side of Brussels sprouts in my life. I've only had it as an app. I'd go as far as to done that. You've been doing it your whole life. You just know you've been doing it. I've never had a side of Brussels sprouts in my life. I've only had it as an app.

I'd go as far as to say that. I promise you you've only had sides of Brussels sprouts. No, no, no. Laurel Tavern, baby. I'm telling you, they're dank. Just because it's listed on there. You know what I mean? Because also salads are listed under apps.

It doesn't always say salads and appetizers. It says sides, salads, and appetizers. sometimes it says appetizers and there's a salad hey man I love you I love you too hey agree to disagree what do you mean fries or brussel sprouts sub

I sub that I'm a weird like sub i sub that see but you literally you like always get a veggie and a steak yeah but i sub that i literally said i don't think anyone else hollywood i sub brussels sprouts in my new doesn't matter yeah i don't think anyone's doing that we'll talk about this on the text chain afterwards i don't want to derail we're going to use swear words on the patreon check it out we're going to take our shirts off and swear at each other. The fucking cunt.

Motherfucker. We're all naked. It's going to get primal on the Patreon. I'm going to go with cheese fries. Nice. And we know what

inspiring is. Very dang. Tell us about how you fell in love with look i wanted to be like no but then you said that and i'm like yeah islands do islands cheese fries are because it's not cheese whiz like they melt cheese on top but they retain their crunch it comes with a ton of ranch and then, it's just a little bit of scallions on top. I was mad. And I needed that in my life after Strider took potato skins. Yeah. The crunchy potato, cheese, a little bit of scallions, and then just Dunkin'. You can also go ketchup or whatever you want. And Island's, for my money, had the best ones.

The only thing I know is Irish nachos. Oh, I like that. I just don't like it. Sometimes when they do Irish nachos, they do like little like cut potato where they're like flat they're like potato oh in between like a potato chip and a french fry and i don't like that because those the texture can get fucked the consistency sog can be yeah you can get into soggy shit real quick i'm not into that but no for sure so and uh you know into that but no for sure so and uh you know anytime you're just pulling something out and you just see cheese just stringing along it's the money shot that's yeah that's app heaven that's

that's what the nachos that's what the spinach artichoke you just like seeing that that pull and they're dank i love it it's a fastball right down the middle. This is a tough one. But I think I got to stick to my guns on this one. And you know what? This one might be divisive. I think this one is a little bit more of an acquired taste for people. I'm getting horny. But they devote bars to it.

You know, it's an aphrodisiac. It makes you horny. Oh, it's a great pick. It's going to make Aaron cream. I don't even know what it's an aphrodisiac. It makes you horny. Oh, it's a great pick. It's going to make Aaron cream. I don't even know what it is. Just chemically. Even if you don't like it, if you get this in your body, you're going to fucking cream, dude. Oysters.

Oh. That's a brilliant pick. Oh, thanks. I personally don't like oysters. You guys don't like them. No, but I know it's a good thing It's a really good thing The fandom

Around oysters is Robust People fucking love them They're cool to eat They're fun It comes out on a good presentation And you're slurping something out of a half shell But really you don't

like the oysters you like the experience the horse radish you put on top of it but as an experience it might be the top of the appetizer yeah food pyramid and it feels sophisticated feel yeah you get martinis feel sophisticated what a fourth pick you can get creative with it you know if you go on a date and you guys get oysters it's like you know i wanted my gf to get oysters and we were just looking at each other like you know it's another tempo setter can we get this to go like okay i'm reckoning with a powerful human here exactly yeah and you know you're just like are we going camping tonight she's like why i'm like because i already got a tent oh baby nice baby under that baby i that, baby. I'll give you all the shelter you need.

I see what you mean. Let's go. I got an art sleeping bag. That's my favorite. Strider was there. Where was I? Do you like oysters, though? I do. I love them.

That's a good question. I told you I was going to come at you. I told you I was going to come at you. No, no, dude. I told you I was going to come at you. I do. You know what? They taste like the ocean. Yes. Well, it's a cleaning mechanism for the ocean.

You're eating the fucking trash of the ocean. But I respect the hell out of that pick. Do you? I do. 100%. 100%. No, I feel that. That's a great pick.

That's a great oyster. I respect anybody that eats trash. But you guys taste respect for so heavy, I'm trying to sell hammer. I'm trying to sell hammer. When I first ate oysters, I was like, that just tastes like salt water, but it was the experience for me.

It was sort of like, are we going to order an oyster? It's like, I don't think anyone really is like, wow, the taste is, but it's like, are we ordering oysters? It's an event.

It's cultivated. Yeah. And I have like a thing where if I'm nervous to meet someone at like a lunch meeting, I'll order an extravagant dish to present as powerful. And oysters is chicken pate or oysters. Right away, the person you're talking to is like,

all right, this guy's probably read some books. He's been outside the country. This guy's been to the south of France a couple of times. Totally. We're meeting at a Norm's. I didn't even know they had oysters. That's true, too. I've ordered oysters at places where you shouldn't order oysters.

Totally. I did that with you, actually. Yes. Remember, we went to that one spot. Yeah. Where did I order oysters? And it was such a... The place next to Jones.

That bar on Melrose. Yes. Dude, if you go to San Francisco or if you go to Newport Beach and you're looking at the ocean and you're eating oysters, is there anything better than that? It's beautiful. It's beautiful. That's a good pick.

That was smart, dude. Dude, actually, I'm being genuine here. The fucker in me wants to upend things, but can I do... Is charcuterie, does that count as an appetizer? That's a good question. I mean, I guess. Because you share it. Maybe get specific with it.

Yeah, because I didn't want to just say salami. Is there Brussels sprouts on that board? Because then no. Maybe just in the... Because I'm not conclusive on it. I'll get anything like cheese and crackers and deli meats. Also, it's kind of risky. Because I've been let down by some chartreuse reboards before i like the presentation a lot it is great yeah it's fun i don't know how satisfying it is but it's a lot of fun but i always

feel like there's a better combination out there to be had and that fucks with me when i eat charcuterie yes i'm just gonna go with charcuterie because i've already named it so you don't have to if you don't want it yeah it feels like I've got to do it at this point. I'm doing charcuterie. Charcuterie board to end it. It's a great word, charcuterie. Love to say it. Yeah.

And it's another thing where I feel like you don't... I'm a big cheese guy. I needed some cheese on there. But you know what the thing about a charcuterie board is? Every time, there's only one cheese I actually like. And I just go cheese on there. But you know what the thing about a charcuterie board is? Every time, there's only one cheese I actually like. And I just go bananas on that. Right. I love you poo-pooing your own one.

Yep. This is good. That's my nature. I think, too, it's like you can be sophisticated or you cannot be. It's like if you're with adults like are we gonna have wine and cheese like yeah it's like it's very kind of like all right we read books we're gonna talk about whatever's on the New York Times or you can just be with bros and you can be like let's have some ritz and fucking cheddar yep and it gives

you options there's stuff to pick at it's more you know of all the things it's not like a it's better setting wise at like a hang than at a restaurant yeah like if you walk into a house and they're like hey we set up a charcuterie board you're just walking over there every 10 minutes after you like finished a conversation with someone you remember from like high school that you don't really have much rhythm with. I'm just going to go pick some bread. Yeah. But I do love them. I do love them. It's another one where it's a vibe.

It's a vibe center. Exactly. It has a lot of things that kind of go with it. It's fun to pick. You can have some fruit. You can have some nuts. There's just a lot of options. Yeah. And let's just settle it now.

As a violation of the genre, is charcuterie worse than Brussels sprouts? I don't think that either of them violate the genre. I have to double down like that. But I don't think that they do. Yeah. I guess if I were to take umbrage with charcuterie, I would say that oftentimes it's like way, way before the meal. That's what it is, right? right you know it's a preamble

to the app yeah right you almost don't have it in a meal you almost have it they do have it on menus but that's like chips and guac can do that like just because they can like a lot of people order it when they go out to dinner yeah i feel that all right should we get into some honorable mentions before we have aaron's conclusive decision dude decision. I didn't do this, but ceviche? I thought about it. I'd already done so many seafood. I'd already done seafood, too. Nachos are better. Pork lettuce wraps.

Yes, lettuce wraps. I was going to say the Thai lettuce wraps. This is what I actually order the most. Hot pretzels. Oh, yeah. Those are so good. I almost did that instead of Brussels sprouts. Strider, I'm sorry. wait. What was Strider? I'm sorry.

What? What was the big pick? Oh, it was going to be a quesadilla. Oh. Yeah, but it could be a meal. Fuck. Dude, that's a great pick. I would have done that.

I was going to pick a quesadilla. That's genius. That's genius. I would have won if I did that instead of charcuterie. Yeah, you would have. Fuck. And if I didn't do quesadilla instead of Brussels sprouts, although I like the Brussels sprouts are dang, dude. I think the quesadilla. But the quesadilla is pretty funny.

That's really smart. On that one, I feel like it is coming. It can be a meal, too, though. It splits so easily. It splits. Dude, that's what makes it a gap. I thought you guys were going to hammer me for it. No.

You're in a different mood to not hammer me for it? No. I would have been on board. That's a brilliant pick. So that was what my heart was going to be. Fried pickle chips, I love. Oh, I love fried pickle. Because it just gives us just a little bit of tang and then he's still just bruschetta dude oh yeah bruschetta did you know what i had solid you know i had the other day that

fucking made me cream all over this restaurant is fundido cheese cheese fun queso fundido have you guys had that yeah it's like a hot cheese and it's literally just hot cheese i literally ate hot cheese with a fork oh dude this was this was something i almost tossed in that i think is actually better than onion rings but it was too close for me to do it as an alternative pick and i needed something more filling shredded onion oh oh yeah where they make it into like a blooming onion yeah at the fucking outback steakhouse and i'd like that to count for mine please no that might be the most popular Oh, yeah. Where they make it into like a blooming onion. Yeah. At the fucking Outback Steakhouse. Aaron, I'd like that to count for mine, please. No, no.

That might be the most popular. Onion ring. That might be the most known appetizer in the restaurant kind of umbrella. Do pizza rolls count? Yes. Yeah. Oh, pigs in a blanket. Yeah.

Because that's like pizza. I don't know if I ever ordered pizza. Those are good wedding. Yeah. You know what? A macaroni ball. Plush ball puppies that's the thing about charcuterie charcuterie is more of a snack jalapeno poppers mac and cheese bites mac and cheese i never had one sounds delicious i've never had one i just like it's just breaded it's like i know it's good i saw it i saw it online and i was like it's gotta be cheese oh it's dank yeah oh no i've had those yeah yeah it's so dank but jalapeno powders too yeah shoving my butt yeah exactly thank you

barbecue meatballs but that's kind of more of like an hors d'oeuvre i don't know because i don't know if i've ever ordered a shared app of barbecue meatballs but like when that's on a toothpick it's like the best that's very good it's kind of a bend so i didn't want to pick it skewers yeah skewer yeah these are all wedding style but like yeah they got passed yeah um did it classify as undank shrimp cocktail you don't like shrimp cocktail i don't fuck i should have done that no i thought about it but i went crab cake sauce because again i don't like i don't like yeah oh i love cocktail sauce i don't like cocktails and then you just lemon, and then it's just a little fishy lemon and delicious cocktail sauce. You go to a steakhouse and get it, dude? It can go bad.

I don't like sharing that shit. When I order a shrimp cocktail, I want all six to eight. Those are my shrimp cocktail, dude. I'm not sharing it, so that's why they didn't pick it. And dude, the only thing I don't like is when you order a shrimp cocktail, and they're little normal shrimp when they come out. Yeah, no good. It's got to be the jumbo. Dude, it it's gotta be larger than your average bear shrimp right speaking shrimp coconut shrimp oh i almost picked that oh my god how did i not i really fucked up the writers i'm

just gonna wait what's that what's that conch fritters it's just like florida and like bahamas like caribbean style but it's just a it's a shellfish that they have down there and then they just fry it and it's fucking and then it comes with a shellfish that they have down there, and then they just fry it, and it's fucking ridiculous. And then it comes with a sauce. They're delicious. It's like abalone. And it's very particular in its flavor. Steak tartare.

Steak tartare. Great one. Steak tartare. Another elevated pick. Yeah. I don't love steak tartare, but I love ordering it. Oh, yeah. Just saying tartare.

Yeah. That's so true. The whole time you're just like, give me the smallest fork you got, and I'm going to be so fancy while I eat ordering it. Yeah, oh yeah. Just saying tartare. Yeah, that's so true. The whole time you're just like, give me the smallest fork you got and it'll be so fancy while I eat this thing. I got one here that's never satisfying from like a fullness perspective, but like chips and salsa never goes wrong,

edamame. Yeah, yeah. If you like sushi, you get edamame. You get it. Couple for the table. Maybe garlic edamame. Garlic edamame? Miso soup?

Miso soup. Miso soup. Miso soup and steak. Dude, bacon-wrapped stuff. I was like, bacon-wrapped asparagus. Amazing. Yeah. I feel like bacon-wrapped stuff, they do dates. But I feel like too often with bacon-wrapped stuff, the bacon's really fatty.

Right. It's not the best quality. Crisp. Like the hot dogs outside of stadiums. Like, every time I'm like, I'd just rather have a hot dog or bacon. Right. Dude, those dirty dogs when you a hot dog or bacon. Right. But it's always like. Dude,

those dirty dogs when you're drunk. There's still a time and a place where there's just what the doctor ordered. When you're like, just fucked up and you got no rhythm

with a gal at the bar and you just walk out and you're like, two. Two. What about, um. Flatbread doesn't count It's just pizza

Yeah People have flatbread on there But I mean They do have it on there I do agree I didn't put it on my list Because I'm like This is cheating

Tamales Tamales are really good Especially the sweet corn variety No one had a sweet Did anyone have a sweet one? No A sweet app? Are we missing some?

What is What can you get as a sweet app? Should we kick the mic it what can you get a sweet app should we kick the mic to erin get your decision and anything we missed i also have some honorable mentions uh i mean you guys weren't going this part of the world but samosas i've spoken about oh yes what are samosas it's i didn't know either it's like like Indian food. Yeah, it's breaded. Almost like if you had a potato ball at... Like a pierogi? It's like that. Yeah, and what's the Asian style of that

where you get the little pork bun? Are those appetizers? Pork buns? Those are called... We have them in San Francisco, the fucking dumplings. I'm talking about the white fluff guys, though. Oh, wontons. No no it's with the b that was another thing i had on here was cream cheese wontons oh those are good um bow that's what you were talking about yes there was that little short movie about it

that i think it won the oscar pixar yeah yeah uh fried ravioli if you're from St. Louis never had it cheese curds garlic knots yes do breadsticks yes that's all the honorable mentions I have

you're not a poutine guy. Poutine's a full meal, I think. Yeah, that's the sinker of all sinkers. Yeah. You're not doing a 100-yard dash after that. Probably more a marathon. You're not doing. All right.

Well, this draft, I think it's maybe one of the clearer winners that I've seen that we've done. Really? There's like a little jam up in the middle, and then there's the end. Should I go last to first? Yeah. That's interesting, because I thought this would be way more subjective. Even right now, I'll figure it out. It is, but I'm the subject. Right all right this is yeah yeah okay and i am from the midwest

though i grew up in san diego uh so we'll pick one one of you knew uh the keys to my heart um and one of you uh didn't um because you put oysters on there. It's a cult following. That gives me a fourth place. I'm not in that cult. Not that alone. I don't really appreciate the Pokey Tower. Mozzarella sticks and spinach artichoke, solid picks.

Aaron, I think you're wrong. I think you go mozzarella sticks, one. Your Pokey Tower comes a little later. No, I'm sticking true to me. But how do you judge if he ended up with both because then the way that he got there doesn't matter right it does matter i think i think where you're where you draft yeah yeah your number ones what's your number one fucking matters i think like it's got to be a banger you know it's gotta be a crowd can't be a wolverine can't be a Wolverine. It can't be Sean Penn. It can't be Sean Penn. It can't be a Wolverine.

You guys are right. I take it back. I don't know what's worse between Sean Penn and Wolverine. Sean Penn's not worse than Wolverine. He's won that match twice. Not like I prefer Sean Penn to Wolverines. But within the context of all the options. Leaning man, dude. A Wolverine's still an animal, dude. Oh, come on. but within the context of all the options a leading man dude a wolverine is still an animal

oh come on that's not alright this is going to be tough because it's subjective I mean I was depending on something that literally will make you cream. Oysters. Here's the thing.

I don't like oysters, but I respect them. You're still the deadliest. One time I went to lunch with a girl and she said, you want to get oysters? And I was like, fuck no. Was she trying to fuck me? Yeah. Damn it.

Yeah. Hey, Aaron. She's a white whale from elementary school. Ooh. You went out? She asked for those in elementary school? No, no, no. This was like.

I'm kidding. I'm kidding. She's sick. She's like, should we get the oysters? You're like, I don't know, Kit Kennedy. So you went out with your white whale and rejected oysters? I just, I was like, yeah, and oysters alone. I was like, no oysters alone i was like no

and then in hindsight i'm like fuck yeah yeah well what are you gonna do that's fine i'm good i'm happy guys yeah there's this chick christy ward that i wish i would have had oysters with but you move on yeah you just you don't know. That's her real name. It's her real name. What are you doing? What are you doing?

It's a hot name. I'm not speaking for me. I'm speaking for a lot of people. Yeah. Don't speak for me. It's a really hot name. Yeah, Strider knows what's up. Yeah, very cool lady.

She was cool. She was cool. All right. So in the three and the two spots, it's a little bit of a jam up just because I feel like there are better options out there when you pick certain things. Strider, solid start. Potato skin, solid start. Did Onion Rings have to go too?

I don't think so. I don't think so. I wasn't happy about it. I don't think so. I would have even respected Brussels sprouts, too, but even that's kind of a four. Egg rolls could have been two. I don't. In that order.

Chris, will you kick him your mic? Oh, yeah. He's so down on himself. He's saying a lot of true stuff right now. I was kind of down on myself about my list as well. I think it was tough with this one. It was. Well, and that's where I have there's a little bit of a jam up, because I think charcuterie is kind of...

It was weak. Yeah, it's a four, which is fine. Like, that's fine. Dude, when Strider said quesadillas, like, if I could... You should have done that. I wish this every time. If I could go back in time and pick quesadillas, like, the rest of my life is better. I don't know if I ever and pick quesadillas, like the rest of my life is better.

I don't know if I ever want a quesadilla as an app. I always want it as an entree, like a big. Are you picturing dipping it in the sour cream? Always. And are you picking your chicken quesadilla and it's all sliced up nice? No, just straight cheese quesadilla for me. I just feel like as a shareable thing,

you've got to get like four quesadillas to make anybody. That's true. You're just getting one piece. But on four quesadillas to even to make anybody that's true you're just getting one piece but i for on the quesadilla front i don't like quesadillas with other stuff in them i'm a straight oh wow cheese quesadilla guy i respect that it gets too bulky sometimes it can get runny too but sometimes they do it right yeah so am I third then? I think that's how I'm leaning. Yeah, I think I'm going Strider 3, JT 2, Chris Parr. Number one. Solid list, top to bottom.

I miss crab cakes since I'm allergic now. Allergic now? Yeah, I became allergic like 30. It's life, dude. You'll get there. It fucking sucks. So enjoy it while you can if you still can. It's coming for you. Shellfish, bro sucks so enjoy it while you can if you still can it's coming for you

shellfish bro but yeah nachos number one obviously top contender wings great crab cakes

cheese fries I mean it's an incredible list right straight from my heart I gotta say too it's no accident that Mr. Fun

got number one yeah when it comes to the yeah the appetizer thanks guys really appreciate it came out swinging it's great well great work everybody clap it up clap it up it's what we do there's a melancholy now in the room we're all a little sad we're hurt because you want to watch because there's so many dank apps that we left on the table right right and it's just tough but when chris was saying his list i was like this is a good yeah you're planning the party yeah yeah you're in charge this is ordering for the fucking

table that's a huge honor to be the one who orders for the table i really appreciate you guys dude when you have a kid in the future you're gonna be that dad who says let's fucking get this and this and then and you're going to italy on sund a kid in the future, you're going to be that dad who says, let's fucking get this and this and that. And you're going to Italy on Sunday? Yeah. You're going to Italy? So you're going to be ordering a lot of like prosciutto and prosciutto and what else do you eat? Calamari, bro.

I think just pasta. Where are you going? So we're going out for a wedding. John Street Capital is getting married. Oh, nice. Form a guest of the pub. John Street Capital is getting married. Oh, nice. Former guest of the pub. Wow. He's getting married.

In Italy? Lake Como. Him and his wife are ballers, dude. That's ballers. That's ballers, dude. It's been pushed twice due to COVID. Yeah. And yeah, so we're doing Tuscany, Florence, and then Lake Como for the wedding.

That's awesome. Legit. It's going to be fun, man. That's going to be eight or nine days. Well, you're going to carry this W with you as you go out there. Yeah, this is a nice, yeah, leaving two days. Parting gift. Totally.

All right, can we do a break for five so I can grab a couple more brewskis and then we'll get into the next part? What's up, Stokers? I'm interrupting this podcast to let you know once again that we are going on tour we got a tour coming up this fall september october november we got dates already on the website i'm talking north carolina south carolina new york nashville chicago hawaii las vegas we're coming chat jt.com get your tickets right there baby we're also brought to you by the legends at manscape manscape thank you so much for keeping our trends p for looking after our hogs for making

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You know, it's tough. You're always going up against some top-tier competitors, so you know you've got to bring it. And, you know, these guys brought it. It's hard drafting. You know, settling into a choice that you got to stick with for eternity. It's not paralyzing, but there's always a part of you that wonders, is there something else out there that would, you know,

fit who I am better? That's life. You just got to pick sometimes. That's all life is. It's just making that choice, making that selection. You want to stand tall for it. But then you think about, do I really want to stand tall for charcuterie? Is that really where I want to, is that the hill I want to die on?

You don't know, but you just, you got to pick. It's the burden of being a human. It's a beautiful burden. So at some point, we just have to pick. I think there's old stories that are kind of built around that. I never read it, but the Bhagavad Gita. That's the general thrust, right? Now, you can't pick to fight.

You were destined to fight. I'm hungry now. Talking about all this food. Me and Chad are going out with a new colleague after this. I'll be throwing down some app orders. That's for goddamn sure. Roe v. Wade today got overturned. Sad, man.

Roe v. Wade today got overturned. Sad, man. You know, you think of rights as just being this trending upwards line that's always going to, there's just going to be more and more of them, but sometimes in history we backslide. It's just crazy to be present for it. And then to be witness to the pain that incurs, the anger.

You just feel for our girlfriends. They're pissed. We could be getting into a Lisey Strada kind of situation. Just talking about current events. I started at appetizers, but the cultural moment swung me. Yeah. current events. I started at appetizers, but the cultural moment swung me. Yeah, dude. Yeah, man. Step backwards. It's bad, dude.

Big time. I mean, I think that's gonna be... That's crazy, dude. It's good range. Thank you. I'm feeling... You're a guy's guy this really reveals that too these drafts you come out of it you're like am i in step with yeah dudes yeah like imagine you go in order yeah like that's a good way to think about it like if i sit down at a table with a bunch of bros i never met and i was like gosh should we split the russell sprouts they'd all be like

yeah maybe man okay q's time oh dudes we should also address we uh took down the rick glassman episode um it was a like a i know it's weird to take down an episode, but none of us were stoked on it. We didn't like it. Rick didn't like it. And we were all kind of in agreement that it should come down. And we love Rick. He's a hilarious dude.

It wasn't the best representation of all of us. The energies weren't meshing. Not at all. The appetizer didn't correctly meet the entree to no fault of anyone's it just was just like a you know an off pod i guess and i get why people would want to hear that because those are like of the pods i'm fans of i like the misfires as much as the bangers but we were all just kind of like nah and so we took it down but there's no like uh like residual um no one was like upset we were all just like this kind of sucked it was a mutual

feeling a mutual decision amongst everyone to take it down it wasn't like we all just sort of decided yeah let's do a redo at some point so and then uh yeah but yeah sorry we took it down and we'll get you guys with more pods will be coming but his suggestion about the couch was right totally right are you guys gonna get a new couch no so when a guest comes just just one, they're going to sit here. We're going to be on the couch. Way more effective. Really? Mm-hmm.

How do you feel about that? You know what? Giving up your chair? I was scared. I was very scared. It's a good chair. And then I did it. And I felt good because it felt right.

All right. Boom clap and a wet what up to the super sultans of our saving stoke, Chad and JT, and any other esteemed guests on today's pod. I'm a longtime listener and first time writing in, and I'd greatly appreciate it if you could keep me anonymous because I got some friends who listen. Sorry for the long queue, but I got a serious sitch. I just graduated from high school

and I've been with my dank GF since freshman year. We are seriously in love. I've also been smoking weed for about two years now. My girlfriend doesn't like weed because she tried it a couple of years ago and had a very bad experience on it. She's fine with me smoking, but hadn't realized that I've been smoking

a few times a week, which I don't think is a big deal, but she does. She's angry at me and thinks I'm smoking too much and is worried it will only get worse when I go to college in Vermont, the stoner capital of the East. I don't think it's necessary to fully stop because it doesn't seem like a big deal,

but I understand why she is worried about me. What should I do here? Should I just try and assure it's okay and keep smoking the same amount and not change much? Should I rebel and start smoking every day so she can't tell me what to do? Or should I give in and only smoke like once a month, which is what you would prefer because love trumps all.

Please help me out. I'd really appreciate it. What was the first option? To lie? That was the second. The second option was to rebel. First was just keep it up. Just stay where he's at.

Right. Indeed, they say it's never about the laundry although I do think you should probably cut down on smoking so much weed in high school you don't want to just be like a weed dude and yeah when you go to college the weed uptick is you're going to be smoking way more weed so just try to you know not let it

be your personality but you know you're going to college she's going to college she's's going to college. She's probably having these thoughts and being like, I don't think she's trying to control you or anything, but, like, I think the underlying thing is, like, where are we going to be at? So have your relationship talk. I would say do that.

You know, depending on how that goes, do what you want. But I think it's probably good to not smoke as much weed. Yeah. Yeah, I agree. I like the idea of not smoking too much weed in high school because unless you get it out of your system uh but you know i think uh yeah i think i would just maybe take an honest look at how much you are smoking and see if it is actually too much um and maybe

take account of that you know um i don't really know what to tell you i mean i guess if your girlfriend is if it's kind of unfair how much she's on your case then maybe sort of you know push back a little bit but i think maybe just take an honest look at how much you're smoking see if it's too much see if it's affecting your life your work your homework all that kind of stuff your school work um and then see where you're at from there and then if it's not then say hey you know i understand your concern but you know i'm still functioning at a high level and i'm still achieving what i want to achieve so yeah i think that's probably that's what i would do i guess totally i was thinking that too like i was like you don't want to start too early because the people i know who started smoking too much pot

too early they were cool yeah but they stayed at that like they started smoking in ninth grade it felt like they stayed in ninth grade yeah like they didn't like mature uh as much as their other classmates who could abstain and then yeah the second thing is like the other metrics of your life how are those looking like dude if you're like you know running an s&p 500 company and you're doing marathons and you're like available to her when she needs you it's like yeah i smoke pot but like i'm fucking crushing so maybe it's okay if it kind of takes a leaky bucket for me to get to these great places yeah or to deliver the water but but lastly i think it's it's when you have a partner it's scary to both sides if

that other person's dependent on something. It just instinctively worries you. You're like, what, does this person need this to function? So I would maybe give it up for a while, not even for her, just for your sake of mind and spirit, and just be like, yo, can I cut back on this and see how I feel? And I think that's always a noble thing, and you'll find out stuff.

Like, you can go back to it at any time, but you can find out along the road, like what the weed might be masking or what it's helping you deal with. And I think that's always valuable, not just for her, but for you. And then the more you find out about that stuff and the more you can get better from that stuff, the better you'll be with everybody. So I think that's, it's, that's not a bad option. And you can tell her like, Hey, I'm not doing this.

She'll know it's for her, but you're be like, I'm not doing this for you. I'm trying to figure out what I need. And so I want to give it a little break, Ski. Yeah, they say for, like, alcoholics and stuff, when they're not saying he's an alcoholic, but, like, when they're drinking, their emotional intelligence plateaus. It just stays at a certain level as long as they're using. And then once they reach sobriety, then they're able to develop and grow and mature. And I think that could be the case, especially when I was in college, I was drinking all

the time, just partying all the time. I had no idea who I was. And then when I stopped in my 20s, it's like, that's when a true development came. So, you know, that's just something to chew on because like in college and stuff without like boozing and stuff i was like no idea how i could be like uh just even function in social settings you know what i mean totally it's like uh you can have that aha moment like cameron diaz has in delightful rom-com the holiday which is the better half of the film where she finally cries because she's let herself be vulnerable

at Jude Law yeah totally understandable and then uh that voiceover narration comes in because she cuts trailers and it goes like Belinda meet Belinda so maybe you'll meet yourself nice that'd be tight that's nice look i don't know i just i like pot a lot so i'm struggling with this one yeah because part of me is like i don't want you hiding weed from her but be conscientious she doesn't like it so try not to smoke too much in front of her but also like it's not good for the brain because it's still developing but it's kind of a time where people are just like he's going to be a freshman in college he's probably going to be like he's drinking 12 beers every night not every night don't do that please don't or even like once or twice a week also not good for you so it's kind of like it's kind of it's kind of what our society is deemed time where you can do that i'm two ways about it it's a tough one that's true too it's like

the hiding thing is like just don't ever be hiding it you can find a partner who's like down with it you know and that can be its own like negative where you're like hey we're kind of like reinforcing each other's bad habits but that's concerning but equally concerning is when you got a homie who's like yeah i gotta wait for her to go to sleep and then i go down to the garage and i get like high as hell and i'm like well lifestyle wise you guys don't seem like crazy compatible no totally so if you ever find yourself in that place you need to something's got to change don't you don't i don't ever want to see people in a mode where they feel like they need to hide substances because like especially from partners because then it's just you know it's going to end poorly yeah no it's always better when someone's like hey i'm like

not always better but there is something like endearing and kind of um trusting when you're like you got a homie who's got a thing but his like old lady's like yeah that's his thing it's okay yeah and he from the jump he's just been like i'm that guy and she's like i'm good with it yeah he's good like oh my god derrick how high are you it's pretty rough you're an idiot yeah pretty rude you gotta be on the same page dude it's tough they're young that's the thing he's so young we'll see what happens what's up brothers i recently ended it for good with this girl i've been seeing for the past year she just moved near me in chicago and now lives 0.5 miles away from me i try to be as kind and possible kind and honest as possible

with her while sticking to my guns on my on my decision but she took it pretty rough my heart just doesn't end anymore and neither of us deserve that i tried my best to say this and be compassionate and be compassionate, but she manipulated my words, guilt trip me and said some pretty concerning stuff about how she hates herself and doesn't care about anything anymore and wants to move back home.

Even though she has a ton of friends in the new city and a great new job, more friends than me. What's the best way to move forward and not feel like a total piece of shit? Have y'all ever broke someone's heart? How have you you handled it i really don't have anything bad to say about her but i knew she wasn't the one and had to move on she liked me way more than i liked her and i'm afraid i ruined her summer move to the city but i had to do what's best for me love um i wouldn't keep giving her you know stuff to chew on i. I think making a clean break and then just separating.

You know, if she's going to say, like, she's going to sort of guilt you with sort of like I hate myself kind of stuff. It's like I don't think, like I feel sorry for her, but I don't think that you sort of coming back into her life a little bit, like trying to appease it is going to help her in the long run because then it's going to give her hope that you guys can get back together and so i think just sort of you know keeping that distance is the best move for sure just because you're not being nice doesn't mean you're being mean yeah and sometimes when you're being mean like if you give someone a

swirly like they actually end up feeling good because then you cheer for them afterwards you know yeah and so sometimes when you are being mean, you're actually being nice to you. But don't give her a swirly. Just let her do what she wants. Definitely don't give her a swirly by yourself unless you're pretty jacked because you don't want to drop her. Right. But if you're jacked, then you might be able to pull it off on your own.

Give himself a swirly? No, like her. Usually I need a bro to help me out giving a swirly. Because you hold them totally upright. Yeah, and then one bro watches his head guides you in the toilet we want to be safe about it you know yeah i really think about the thing where you're lifting the whole body yeah it's tough like even like doing a solo keg stand with one of your boys yeah which it can be done but the dude's got to be pretty skilled getting up on the keg yeah yeah have you given many swirlies

i give a few yeah my brothers and i growing up that was like the go-to like instead of like a shoulder punch on a road trip or something like if you up the brothers would just go put that on your tab and so by the end of the road trip i up probably like four or five times i was probably getting four or five swirlies yeah consecutive or were they space them out they'd space them out surprise me wake me up at night get me like no but definitely within that 24 hours same thing in our crew is me and my brother and our older friends the shrews but with us for each mess up it wasn't one swirly it was one hour of getting swirly whoa so i would up like eight or nine times what the fuck

and then i was like straight up like cuba getting junior and men of honor just like underwater for a huge duration dude that's gnarly that's probably why you're so good at sponging i learned a lot yeah and it made me water like uh familiar yeah yeah if I was giving you a swirly, I'd hit your butt. Dude, and you know what? You're jacked and you could do it. And here's the thing, dude. So you'd hold Strider. I'd hold him like this.

And his ass would be in your face, which is a really clutch way. I'd want JT punishment style swirly. I'd want that for an hour straight if I could. You want me to suck your dick? I would like that. That'd be tight. I'd be tongue darting whatever you need dude i'd be tongue darting and using my other foot to hit the handle oh dude this is like a deluxe swirly this is like the whirlpool of swirlies dude only if you cross 405 and you guys had that i'll do it for

that you had that sick bathroom do we did downstairs that was like, not automated, but had like a... Growing up, my dad was super into dropping shits. Yeah. So he got this sick ass Japanese toilet. He's like, dude, he came down, he's like, woke all me and my brothers up because it got delivered early. And he's like, yo, this is where I'm going to shit from now on. None of you guys get to shit in here. But of course, we're like, dumb fuck, you put it in the guest bathroom, bitch. Like, of course we're going to shit in that. Like when we're like dumb fuck you put it in the guest bathroom bitch like

of course we're gonna shit in that like when he's at work and shit yeah dude exactly bro when he go to work nine to five do you mean my boys my brothers were shitting all the time dude especially in the summer dude that's on him he should have gotten a lock locked it up when he left to go to the office yeah he should have exactly dude i, we were chilling at your house in the backyard eating snow cones. Your dad came in, he's like, I smelled something in my toilet. And we're all like, oh word, and got super nervous. And your dad was like,

let me smell every one of your butts. He did, and he's a doctor. He's like, I know medicine, I'll know if you shit recently. And he smelled all of our butts. Even JT, I was like, dude, he's not your son, you can't do that, dad, that's illegal in this state. But but jt's a chiller and he's like you can smell my butt you just spread them yeah you're very respectful when it's someone else's house i play by their rules exactly and then i came home and mom and i were like how was it over at the wilson house and i

was like mellow yeah and after that you weren't really allowed to come over much anymore but it's sick because your house was sicker for sleepovers and stuff. What up, counsel? I come to you in a time of need. Over the last month or so, I've been getting close with a babe I work with. Work relations are always a little iffy, but she wasn't in my department, so I wasn't worried about it. We've been flirting and talking quite a bit.

The problem is that about two weeks, she transferred and got a new position, so now I'm her direct manager. Fuck me, right? Usually, I just take the L and and stop talking but we already had something good before i became her boss do i take the l or try to dance the thin margin that is a flirtatious boss or should i fire her ass an expression of horniness love the pod keep killing it and let's just say pretty clearly don't fire her exactly or horny yeah exactly then you'll get fired dude that is not that is not a reason for somebody to lose their job.

Why'd you fire her? Horny. Because she made me too horny. What am I supposed to do? Stop talking to her about sexy stuff. We were talking. We were getting super flirtatious. And I was like almost close to fucking.

And then you made her my underling. And then I had to fire her. And it's weird because then I asked her on a date afterwards. And I had to explain on the date like, sorry, out of a job i fired you but like let's hook up hey it worked and you've got mail dude's capitalist love story just fucking bokes her from her job and then he's like hey let's still be each other's forever hey check out this email yeah what am i gonna do walk around the office with a boner that's not appropriate i'm a good guy

yeah i think the uh right thing i think the answer is pretty clear here dude you got a fire yeah yeah i think too like uh it's not smart it always happens but it's not smart to hook up with people you work with i do know people who work together and i know bosses who ended up marrying their subordinates so there's no like just report it to hr what are you doing yeah just be smart but i do think it's i think it's weirder i think it's always better to hook up with someone who's your boss than to hook up with someone who works for you yeah yes for sure colonel jessup style yeah a few good men he puts it in much cruder terms but i think it's hotter yep i agree you should probably keep uh you should probably just stop flirting and you know if you

want to date her go on dates and like i said like report it to the proper channels when you do and then you know just cover your ass but just uh yeah exactly uh yeah or just stop flirting yeah and you better really want to date you better be like i want to date this girl and like maybe end up marrying her with this person exactly don't be like oh i just want to hook up like that's one of the stupidest things you could do go home and jerk off and then like just like, be a good boss. I think this is both great. Especially about jacking off. Yeah.

Look, every decision you should jack off first. Except for me. Right. That's true. Yes. Yes. But for most people to jack off.

Yeah. If your problem is, once I pop, I can't stop. The problem is that you're too horny that you're going to make a bad decision. Yeah. Do the deed and reassess yes oh oh oh right all right all right i feel better i don't think i'm gonna that should be like part of like if putin decides to use nukes like he should have to jizz on the nuclear football and then be like all right i'm actually kind of over it yeah i think you can probably chill. Let's just fucking order some postmates. Nice job being number two on. Putin?

Yeah, exactly. Yeah, you're holding the nuclear football and an iPad with porn. You're just waiting. It's just bears fucking. Dude, Putin's porn is going to be weird. He calls Zelensky's like, I thought about it. And then I jacked off and I jizzed on the nuclear football. And I decided not to nuke you.

Exactly. The regrets of a MILF masher. Hello, fellow Stoke Lords and guests. I'm going to try to make this quick. I'm 20 years old and I went to visit my best bro in Florida for his 21st birthday weekend. A group of friends and I went to the beach the first day to get hammered and play some beach volleyball. Nice.

At some point in our quest, I spit some gain at a fine female who turned out to be in town for work and was 30 years old, married with two kids. Although I was pretty trash and didn't remember much of the rest of the night, I did participate in several lovemaking sessions over the next few days and got really close with said MILF. She was having marriage issues and I tried to be there emotionally for her and got in too deep. I ended up going back home several hours away and she wouldn't stop trying to come to see me or wanted to talk about the future with me. I ghosted her and haven't spoken to her since. I have a lot of shame for participating in an affair and for leaving her hanging. I'm having a hard time accepting my mistake and not beating myself up over it. For context, I slept at her Airbnb the whole trip and her family was at home across the country her husband was abusive to her and she took the job to get away from to clear the mind

much love bros well that's really sad at the end yeah um up until then it was fun i think uh dude you're fine you don't feel that bad like you feel normal guilt after doing something like that you will be over this quickly and you'll keep living this very exciting life you have so yeah i'm not particularly worried about you and i think it was a rare case where you were participating in adultery but it's not like that yeah you're not being horrible you're just being young and horny and i and and you know, you seem all right. Yeah. And the last part where, well,

it makes it more sad, makes me root for this lady to go cheat on this husband for some reason. I'm like, she's being abusive. It's like, yeah, she's got some, she's the true victim in this story.

You know what I mean? And it's going to be tough. And she's not really into you. She's looking for like any port in the storm because her life is tough. And so it was nice that you tried to be there for her, but I don't think she's going to hold a grudge against you long-term for being a 20 year old. I think you're fine.

I totally agree. Necessary Coda. His email name is the baseball God. Amazing. Also the confidence to be 20. Go to someone's 21st birthday be like i'll get in check yourself bro i'll get into the bars i won't ruin it it's true um yeah the baseball i'll tell you what man i had a buddy uh when we were in college bang a milf in vegas and it was just really it stoked all the boys yeah it's awesome yeah

like no one that went up there from the pool and did that and then seeing them afterwards it was just dream scenario pretty pretty pretty cool and the fact that like the milf like later and he's like later go back to the pool hang out i like to imagine they saw each other later by those little like pina colada machines and we're like yeah he just gave her you know just a little cash salute enjoy your night yeah yeah you guys are they're connected forever in this beautiful experience it doesn't get any more beautiful than that how was she mature sure um all right dudes let's do this new truncated version that's causing a lot of uh well i don't know about this we're just we're combining beat babes and legends into just

a single one oh we're still easy for me i think we should do it today because there's four of us right i'm happy to go back to the full right trips of it but it does feel like there's four of us i should just cook um but it's not gone chad who's your b for the week uh my b for the week is uh brad pitt saying that he's on his last leg of his acting career whoa that's what the dude who gave you permission to do that brad he said in a gq interview online apparently i need to read this interview because apparently he's saying that he's like gearing up for the end which i'm like no i want you to act till you're like he's gonna be hot till he's dead so keep going dude i want to be like clint eastwood just keep acting keep doing it

never stop brad why would you do this to us what are you gonna do really upset me dude uh because he means a lot to us he's inspiring like and it just lights a fire in you where you're like i gotta work harder dude yeah i want to be on a horse with long blonde hair fucking making everybody soak dude when he's being cool as fucking like once upon a time in hollywood you're like wow i could be like that carefree with a cool ass dog so brad keep acting man we need you we need you brad we need you even in that little like kind of you know sort of frivolous lost city movie yeah when brad walks in something happens his magic strides

well besides the big umbrella of the repealing of roe b wade which we talked about a little bit which is bad and backwards um i'm gonna go with this lady in the coffee shop fucking dude this coffee shop was closing at 3 and the dude running it was a beast closing it up all on his own dude right down the street he's else here a little bit early and you know working on a laptop he's and he like gave a 10-minute announcement then a five-minute announcement and then I was pushing it at five minutes packed my stuff up use the restroom dude was you know whatever then still packing up and then like literally i'm leaving and he's walking out he looks at the lady goes oh miss are you almost done she's like

we only said this much time this many minutes ago and i was like dude what a fucking psycho bro so just people that fucking got you know bugs the is, bug crawled up her butt and died. You know? Nice. It's a great phrase. It's Friday. Dude's trying to get off. Exactly, bro.

He's shutting it down by himself. Come on. Take your coffee to go. Exactly. You know, go read at home. Chris. I mean, my beef was going to be the non-classic potato skins, but I already talked about that

so I guess I'll go with the Supreme Court decision which is not a surprise since it was leaked but not chill it's probably the least stoke-inducing shit that you could have

and yeah, don't mean to bum you guys out but it's a fucking bummer it's a big bummer uh i'm pretty upset i think it's it's a huge problem and uh yeah i'll just leave it at that oh bro it's a hard day not happy dude and rightfully so not happy yeah it's crazy someone's telling you think about the whole vaccine stuff everyone's like get someone to put my arm now people are telling you what you can do with your body just because you're like dude it's whack bro yeah and then it's like uh i thought we were moving in to the next thing it's like we still gotta fucking deal with this thing like what it just makes you sad that you're like humanity can only push so far into progress and then at some point it's like there's enough people who are like no no no no we're still

yeah we're still gonna fight about this shit now birth control is gonna be a could be a problem because it's crazy about like none of these people are getting fucked or fucking dead that's the thing people aren't fuck you you could only weigh in on it if you've fucked in the last month do you gotta continually have someone you're boning because then it doesn't affect you that's the thing people aren't fuck you you can only weigh in on it if you've fucked in the last month you gotta continually have someone you're boning because then it doesn't affect you and that's i feel like i mean i don't know who these people are that are well they put a photo up of like the dude supreme court justice and you're just staring at his face you're like this is the guy yeah this is the guy making the call like what yeah like no and then they play these like semantic games where like it's not in the constant you're like yeah everyone's life's literally hundreds of years old yeah it's absurd and also like they're like these virgins this is about defending the unborn

and you're like dude go jack off yeah what about when they're born dude carlin's got a great bit on it then you get born and then it's like, good luck, fuck you. No health insurance, no anything, no limited education, whatever resources, gerrymandering. Yeah, bro, it's so piecemeal. It's like they're not stopping abortions from happening. They're just stopping legal abortions from happening where it's safe. No, it's like...

Yeah, exactly. It's affecting low-income people who have to resort to you know who are gonna have to resort to you know going across state lines or you know kind of dangerous methods people that you're just putting people at danger in danger it's a yeah it's a classist sexist thing dude and they'd all do it like if their kid knocked up a chick that they didn't like or they thought was bad news like or if their daughter got knocked up by someone same sitch like 100 everyone not every but most people will do it if it's not the right situation and it also frustrates me that

they're like i feel like the narrative is always that like people are getting abortions is like a frivolous thing. That they're like being like floozies going out and oh, I can just get an abort. Like nobody, everybody takes abortions very seriously. Everyone does like really considers their options. And if they decide to do it, it's not, it's not like they're like pumped about it. And it's like, oh, it's just this thing i can do yeah like it's a serious decision and like the idea that people don't take it seriously is ridiculous yeah dude it's so freaking whack dude my beef not even a good beef that was a better beef but yes and i'm like in pure just touring stand-up mode now.

Dude, it's an easy one, but Spirit Airlines, dude. Yeah. You took Spirit? Dude, my fucking – so I did a – I was in Texas for a couple days, hung out there for a couple more, and then my flight gets canceled. I'm like, I want to get home today. So I pivot. I book Spirit.

I try not to because I know it's, they switch the terminal on me. So I drop off my rental car, go there. Dude, I'm checking my bag 92 minutes before my flight. It's automated, you know, so it's just me and a machine. And it goes, it's too late to check your bag. I'm like, it's not possible. It's not possible.

So I grabbed somebody who's working there. I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, let me check my bag. It says it's too late. He's like, yeah, you have to do it 45 minutes before the flight i go yeah it's an hour and a half before the flight he goes he literally starts doing math in his head if that's more time than 45 minutes and i'm watching him i'm like i'm like it's 90 minutes it's double it's double i mean it's going down now but it's double i'm like it's double 45 minutes and then he goes no no you can't man you got to check it so i'm like i'm not doing that you got to check my bag he and then he goes no no you can't man you gotta check it so i'm like i'm not doing that you gotta check my bag he and then he goes you're also in the wrong terminal you have

to check in here but you have to go to another terminal at fort worth biggest fucking airport in the world yeah so i'm like dude i might miss this fucking flight now i might miss this goddamn flight and it all ended up working out but like it's it it lives up to its reputation like nothing on and i know all the airlines are little helter skelter i know but nothing on spirit goes according to plan yes you are in for a fucking like psychotic brain twisting adventure every time you fly that fucking airline i was i assume that's why people book that airline because they want that experience they lie it's for the wild cards yeah exactly you want something you want you like surprises go do

that well they they're they show the cheapest ticket from the beginning but then they charge for everything dude it's insane yeah exactly how many pisses are you gonna take you might not have to pay for a backpack but like they put it the the size dimensions you could get away with it but the size dimensions are like 12 by 10 for like a carry-on bag really so you're like so i looked at my backpack and i was like well this could cost me another 15 minutes if they end up hassling me on it so i'm like fuck it i just was like i'll do it and then uh yeah i was i was living and then the hard part yeah you just you don't want to get mad at a person who's got a job but like you're like but i'm sorry dude like in my mind right now

you're a cunt yeah yeah you're the face of the organization and it's like they're setting you up for failure and it sucks but you're on the front line bro don't make me kill you for your boss's mistake exactly exactly you didn't do this and i understand that but i'll murder you bro like if i'm stuck here yeah what am i supposed to do with all this you want me to not hurt you you want me to not hurt you then take the bag um chad who's your baby legend of the week um my legend of the week is the sea turtle i saw in hawaii i was like out surfing i was out paddling and um and i was just out there and i was in hawaii and i was like

i'm in the pacific this is awesome feels like a bath and i look over and there's a sea turtle just come out of the water he's like you know just doing the little turtle head thing he's like and i got so excited i was i got so fired up on seeing a sea turtle in the wild i was like hello mr turtle that's so cute and then you're just like i was like yes made my day dude that sea turtle went home that day and went hey i met a pretty chill guy today this total stranger just said hey mr seats it was beautiful yeah you know i don't even know the guy in all my 120 years i've never met someone that chill he was actually a teenager he's like mr sea turtles my dad my dad likes shitting yeah shut up howie yeah yeah yeah off my beach

shut up bitch yeah oh it's my way of bitch get out of here imagine if a turtle said that is that your chick dude she should be out here with me shut up shut up hey get the shit out of here with me dude i'll fuck your bitch bro you square up on the turtle what you say he goes into his shell you're like get out of here get out come out of your shell let me see your face dude come out you out. You're too ugly, dude. I'm not coming out. Look at you. He's just yelling at you through the door. Fuck you, dude. Fuck you.

Echo has an echo. Yeah, yeah. Fuck you, dude. That's dope, dude. Dude, probably just got to be my dank ass fiance. Not for what she's done, but what we're about to do. We're about to go to Costa Rica, which is pretty sick, dude. So fired up on that.

Not for what she's done, but what we're about to do. We're about to go to Costa Rica, which is pretty sick, dude. So fired up on that. We're going to tube down a river, I think, as one of our things. We're going to ride a fucking horse, dude. Even though I'm not that into that, but I'm going to do it. And we're going to chill on the beach. Even though I'm not good at relaxing, I always have to find premium shade.

She's like, I think we're good here. But I go, but the shade's better over there. She's like, I've got plenty of shades. I'm like, all right, tight. And so just looking forward to traveling together nice are you bringing shrooms no no we got a little her idea she's like should we do shrooms and i was like and you know chris is my fucking guy dude and totally turned me on to them and had a great experience and i'm like i know exactly how much we got to do get a little chocolate bar we do three whatever it's all good but then we're just a little bit worried about packing them and bringing them internationally and we don't want to get in trouble and

you know didn't mom was like sending you back with some meds from chile and they they busted you yeah she gave me some xanax for the flight i was like i don't need that she's like take them like okay whatever and then i didn't take any but they were just sitting in like an advil bottle because i didn't know where to put them and then i got randomly searched and i was stuck there for like 45 minutes and the guy was so rude to me it was like you're fucked dude really and i was like yeah i don't want that it's one thing domestic when you know what the the fallout's gonna be but like to be in another country, all of a sudden you're in Broke Down Palace and you're eating three grains of rice out of a bowl.

It was on the way back, so luckily I was in Atlanta. I got fucked. I'd be okay, but it was because we had a friend's wedding in a day. And I was like, I need to get back, dude. I'm not missing that party. But then the guy asked his supervisor, and his was like don't do it again get out of here they don't care about that stuff as much they're worried about like threats to other people this guy did the fucking and you should see him pouring the bottle out and then having a little

thing to sort the different pills to be like what are these well he went that they went that far yeah they like went i should have just and i got it was like they're like you you have to go this way i should have just handed my backpack yeah to becca then i think it would have been fine right because like nobody really it was just i think i just got i think i just got like a guy who was really on yep yep and look taking his job very seriously airport security that's cool it was five xanax bro and i came pretty clean like i don't know what to tell you yeah did you remember when i i'm not afraid of flying anymore which is dope but when i it was recent change my dad gave me a bunch of xanax to fly home on and i'm just like

they put us on a prop plane and i'm just tripping out next to my brother and i keep taking halves and i'm like dude it's not working it's not working so i just keep throwing them down dude by the time we got to lax my brother had to carry my body out of the air like literally over his shoulders just dragging my carcass just just slobbering like he's like just to see him you were eating them in quarters and the pills are so tiny that's not so i just this stuff never works for me it just never worked for me and then then he was out then he was dead it's good sleep yeah dude my legend of the week is silence i did a uh two night silent retreat in texas and uh dude it was dope i think like i talk a lot but i think i could go silent for a year i really enjoyed it it was really really fun i was at a weird like uh kind of like

guru-y like i don't even know what the philosophy behind it was but it's something where you like do mantras and uh you know uh wear the i wasn't doing it but they wear the the outfits and uh dude it was cool man i just walked around in texas at like midnight hadn't talked in like 36 hours and i was just like looking at stars and avoiding skunks and and i did feel like uh some new piece it was kind of sick it's kind of sick i don't want you know knock on wood but i'm eager to do it again i think uh i've been eager to do it again i think i've been trying to practice it when i got home i'm like hey for like the until two o'clock today just not gonna say a word and it was nice turned down the volume a lot so i was grateful for it

dude that's awesome that's inspiring it was cool man we're gonna look at the stars but that sounds awesome well we don't that's one of the buzz kills about la i love la but no stars here yeah and then when you're in texas it's just like they're fucking shining super bright yeah you seem rejuvenated i felt really good afterwards man the the the stars at night are big and bright is it jimmy it's world what's that for a song really well hey they nailed it with the with the lyrics because you feel it yeah it was really cool i liked it a lot and uh my one my one thing though dude i do not like guru dudes no the dude who was in charge i'm like i don't like hierarchy especially when it's religiously oriented because like i just looked up and i was like bro nah like he was like there was like a

like a assumed specialness in his yeah like facial uh expression that i was like and no no no no i was like i think i'm gonna try and find a place i can go to where i'm just by myself and i can just like but it was it but they it was a beautiful setup it was super cheap too it's 100 bucks a night yeah and you get place to sleep, and they feed you dank vegetarian meals. And it was really, really cool. Yeah, when someone tries for the guru look, you can feel it. It's pretty hilarious. Yeah, you got to be that guy.

You got to become that guy. And you're just like, dude, are you going to fuck all the chicks once it's after a certain hour? 100%, dude. You're just always like, are you doing, you're being weird. it's like after a certain hour 100 you're just always like are you doing you're being weird i know you're being weird bro yeah um have you been swirled since you've been back though because yeah i swirled myself when i got home okay cool bro i haven't changed thank you bro thank you i went on a when i did a high school religious

retreat uh called kairos people would come back and be different afterwards they'd be like kind of enlightened but it's sort of in a phony way sometimes or it could be perceived that way if you weren't uh grokking with it just wears off but strider sent me a letter when i was there and he said don't change yeah one of our bros went there dude maybe i don't want to name him but he's a good bro but he came back different did for like a week and it was We gotta call him out we love him to death is still like one of our best friends He's gonna somebody's no no, but here's the thing he'd like if we said it according to the text read Actually, you know who you are But here's the thing. He'd like if we said it according to the text thread. Right. According to other bros in the thread. So actually. You know who you are. You know who you are.

You know who you are, you sweet motherfucker. You're the best, dude. You're the best, dude. You're the best, dude. You sweet ass bitch, dude. You love everybody. Yeah. I fucking kill you.

I'm going to fuck you up, too. Dude, yeah, dude. Dude, that would hurt. He loves you, dude. He does love you. He does love you. I'm going to give you a swirly, naughty ear butt. Come on, dart it.

Dart it. Chad, what's your quote of the week? My quote of the week. Oh, you didn't do one? Oh. I skipped you. It's all good, dog. Fuck, dude.

Fuck. Hey, where did you speak up, though? Mine is... Chief Justice Kavanaugh. In honor of our draft, I'm going with Hoopsters Bar and Grill in Jeffersonville, Indiana. It's just a very shitty looking sports bar.

And they got such dank eats. Best fried pickle chips I've ever had. They do some of their own sauces. They call it sticky sauce. It's kind of like a teriyaki but it's got some different stuff if you're ever in the louisville area head over the bridge go to hoopsters and just have a fucking dank burger and some great apps it's beautiful you'll love it i love that hell yeah that sounds so good and my turn okay quote of the week comes from amber heard i'm a liar says the man sorry i'm a liar says the lawyer of the man who convinced everyone he had scissors for hands

she's not her own best advocate she's she's a weird lady man when you watch her you're like wasn't one of the theories that she did so much like Molly that her brain doesn't produce dopamine? Oh, interesting. I don't know. I've heard that, that she's just got no joy juice left in her dome. That's really sad. That's a bummer. Yeah, she's burning it too bright at both ends. Man, that was always scary when people would be like,

don't take too much Molly. That was the fear tactic when I was in junior high. They would do like MTV did one on it where they showed a brain scan of a brain after Molly. And it just had like fucking holes in it. And you're like, what the? And then this girl, so funny. Like in retrospect, she's like, I don't really feel joy anymore. Like I used to love to dance and I still do it.

And then they cut to her dancing and she's totally blank just doing ballet she's like oh okay fuck but then you do molly and you're like i get it yeah so just you know take a couple months off in between take a year off take three years off dude i haven't done like eight years i think i'm doing well the next time you do do it you're not the best fucking time dude Daniel said to cut me off. He spoke up and told me I was doing it too much How often were you doing it? I was doing it was funny because he called me out. He's like He's I do I'm worried about you're doing too much Molly I was like what makes you say that he's like cuz we went to the beach on Saturday and you were on it Regular shit, that's the thing. Yeah, he was like you're making the drive back to la like

more exciting and i was like it's like all cousins dude it's like we're going out for pizza tonight he's like all right hold on let me get some cocaine you're like what she's getting pizza dude yeah when you're turning up when it's not a turn up night that's when it's yeah that's when it's it's uh showing that's a good quote right there, dude. Let's see, dude. I just typed in some fucking quotes, dude. Life is so much simpler when you stop explaining yourself to people and just do what works for you. That can go both ways. Well, what's the other one?

Let's see. The other one was Audrey Hepburn one. No, but what do you mean? Oh, I mean like if you don't explain yourself, you're like, look, I'm just going to beat this guy's ass. I just like to punch people. It's like, well, all right, dude, you psycho. But I get what they mean. All we have is now.

Cristobal. This is from a Neil Diamond song, which our dog Robbie turned me on to to even though it's the second most played song on spotify i never heard it and it's uh from forever in blue jeans and the line is uh money talks but it don't sing and dance and it don't walk and i like that dude money can get you a lot of stuff but there's a lot of really cool shit that it won't get you. Hell yeah. True. Dude, mine's from the, I'm poking back into this book,

this Nassim Nicholas Taleb book, Skin in the Game. He writes in a hilarious style, but this quote got me fired up. He said, people fail to realize that the principal thing you can learn from a professor is how to be a professor. And the chief thing you can learn from, say, a life coach or inspirational speaker is how to become a life coach or inspirational speaker so remember that the theory that the heroes of history were not classicists and library rats those people who live vicariously in their texts they were people of deeds and had to be endowed with the spirit of

risk taking fuck yeah i love it just do it that was fun dudes wait phrase of the week oh right um i'm swirling tonight beautiful i'm a little late to the party on this one through gen z phrase but and i heard it first when my boy robbie went dropping but he goes dude this is a movie and it's just a great phrase it particularly we talk about it when it's going to be a fucking sick map in rebirth island we go oh this is a movie map and then we all go who's this directed by we go michael fucking bay and this cast is fire It's really fun. We have a lot of fun with it. So great phrase. In honor of John Street Capital, who is a Jets fan, my phrase of the week for getting after it is J-E-T-S.

Jets, Jets, Jets. I don't know. I had to read that one. No, I like that. Did you see you go like that? Yes. And it's super fun, too, because you can do it as a joke because the jets always suck yes they do chant that as much as you want and party they'll be bad this year too dude my first movie for any after is kind of connected to my quote of the week i'm

totally a non-fiction guy i don't really read fiction anymore because i think what it is when you're in like your 20s you or like even younger too if you're reading in your teen years you just want someone to express how fucked up life is in a way that you relate to because all you see is like the incongruities and like the hypocrisies and shit so you'll read a book about a sad guy like fuck yeah man that's how i feel like finally someone said it but then when you get into your 30s you're like all right i know it's sad but how do i get to the other side of it and that's when you read like non-fiction about like badass people like i just finished the jfk book and like jfk if you if there's like a hundred ways to rate a human being's life he's like 100 on like 99 of those things the thing that he sucks

at is being a husband he's like a zero on that but everything else he's like a hundred of a man and you're like yeah this is what i need i need a doer who will show me and inspire me to like get after it and one of his friends said this about him and it just fired me so much fired me up so much i was like yes dude that's how i want like it was it's a little self-involved i was like this is how i want people to like think about me one day he goes there was something about time special for him obviously because he always heard the footsteps but also special like you but there was also something special for you when you were with him so whenever he was in a situation he tried to burn bright he tried to ring as much out of things as he could after a while he didn't have to try he

had something nobody else did it was just a heightened sense of being there's no other way to describe it i'm like dude that's awesome what a fucking tank of a guy dude he's a fucking beast bro and dude no one ever had a bigger impact on the ladies than that guy the ladies loved i think that's why they killed him grady made this point that's why they killed him all the dudes were just tired of here watching ladies just chasing they're like we got to kill this fuck you're like this shit's too did you go by the spot where he where he got killed i have when we were in dallas that's so weird because i was reading the book i should have done that we were talking about joe like knew what street it was he's like it's this yeah i just happened to drive by on the way

to the airport and so they have an x on the street to like whoa where it happened exactly yeah and like he showed me the grassy knoll whoa. Whoa. Which is just right off the rip. It's crazy. I wouldn't have known. Yeah. Did you see the library? What? The library?

Wasn't he supposed to be in the story? He's in the Grassy Knoll with Harvey Oswald. No, he wasn't on the Grassy Knoll. Book Depository. That's where the potential other shoot. Oh. That's like one of the conspiracy theories is that there was another shooter on the Grassy Knoll, which is not big at all. Oh. So he was in a book they say he's in the book deposit you see the book depository no because he was he was just yeah my buddy was just driving me to the airport he's like

here it is see that x yeah drove by and said that's grassy knolls whoa and then we're yeah i wanted to see it yeah damn kept going it's crazy it's one of those inflection points where like wait the president used to just drive around in a convertible like yeah we would have no living presidents if that was still the game plan for how to cruise through a parade the pope has a fucking like shield thing around him yeah he's got his jp2 got it yeah psychos i know re Reagan got shot. What's the name of the guy who shot Robert Kennedy? Saran Saran. Saran Saran. Sirhan Sirhan.

Yeah. Every time, is that an 80s pop song? Totally. I just started boogieing. Duran Duran. Sirhan Sirhan. Dude, he's on Twitter. It's hilarious.

He's on twitter it's hilarious he's on yeah he's hinkley he's on twitter yeah that'd be my last phrase we're getting after it be the guy who gets assassinated not the guy who does the assassination yeah yeah all right um that was fun chris congrats thanks another dub i want some of your apps yeah dude this was a fun one for another food yeah dude we should bring some apps to the next draft i was gonna say that'd be fun just an hour of us eating dude yeah just on like record the cheesecake factory dude oh oh oh oh so i've been a long time since I've had some cheesecake. It's so good. It's great. Is the cheesecake that good?

I don't like cheesecake. I don't think it has. You don't like cheesecake? Not really. Whoa, I love cheesecake. And their cheesecake is good. Bro, you can have like Reese's Pieces cheesecake. You can get the right cheesecake.

But don't do that. I get the one with strawberries on it. That's what it is, man. You get this every time. Yeah. We're home alone, baby. We're at the plaza. we're just getting the cheesecake with the strawberry drizzle thank you or is the home alone at the plaza or the waldorf that's a good question uh plaza yeah i can't fuck that up yeah waldorf is um coming to america yeah that's where the king's day maybe the funniest movie of all time so good and the

fact that none of us had in our rom-com draft travesty it's because it was a comedy before before i know because it's the right it hits all the beats let's not get into this i know i know like it's it's true the romance could you actually that's like none of my favorite scenes are like the romance part of that bro you picked coyote ugly oh right yeah it's a great movie it's funny yeah the dad's funny john goodman's funny i'm not dude yeah oh right yeah it's a great movie it's funny yeah the dad's funny john goodman's funny on that dude yeah fried chicken yeah she's like oh my gosh you gotta watch what you eat very funny yeah yeah i'm having a salad right now it's funny because you know how much a vaulted ceiling would cost her in new york city and she has to get a job at a bar

that's why it's funny the lofts that people have in movies dude the artist spaces you know like i'm just like an outward painter i have 3000 square feet of of an apartment yeah i just wear a wife beater and just like drip paint all day then diane lane cruises over and gets that d dude let's go dude let's go now we're talking about faithful to you yeah that's this is as good as it gets a romcom yeah that's a good one it's a weird rewatch yeah well he's just such an

asshole yeah and wait is that the one he's dating the daughter no that's as good as it gets no that's something he's gotta get as good as it gets is Helen Hunt Jack Nicholson Greg Kinnear Greg Kinnear is a beast super good actor bro he's a beast he's great dude the movie with him and matt damon like i don't really like watching it because i like it's just but dude they're so dialed in like the cooking that they

do like just from a performance aspect it's amazing movie what movie stuck on stuck on you yeah that's it stuck on you right the cooking and burger spot yeah right yeah i was i was like thinking about them it's like what movie are they like chefs you know it's weird i feel like we're just starting to cook i think we got another out i know i know yeah we're like signing up he's like baby let's go yeah we'll watch us pin each other on the patreon and uh yeah i'm gonna kill you for that brussels sprouts you're dead man but i'll'll just say bye, lady. All right.

If you need advice These guys are really nice You want to know What to do Where to go When you need someone to guide you Just a half-hearted side You'll go When you need someone to guard you Who's to have the girls beside you Go with me

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