Going Deep with Chad and JT - EP 247 - Kevin Fard "The Shmole"

Episode Date: July 14, 2022

What up stokers! This week we are joined by our good friend, Kevin Fard aka The Shmole

What's up Stokers of Stoke Nation? Before we begin this podcast, I want to let you know that we are going on tour. We have tour dates coming up. I'm talking all over the country. Chicago, Nashville, Hawaii, Las Vegas, New York, the Carolinas. ChadJT.com is where you get your tickets. Don't miss out to see us live. We guarantee a good time. And we're also brought to you by the legends at Manscaped. Manscaped, thank you so much for keeping our trims p for looking after our hogs for making sure their dinks

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So let your bulge breathe and get 20% off plus free shipping by using our code GODIP at manscaped.com. Let's start the show. If you need advice These guys are really nice You wanna know What to do, where to go When you need someone to guide you

Such a happy ghost beside you Go with me, go with me Let's go deep, go with me can daddy get some headphones over here i'd like to hear uh yeah some headphones for daddy uh jt can you talk for me? Yeah, how's it going? Oh, fuck. Oh, yeah, you got to keep the lid on. Is that working right? Yeah, that's better.

Cool. Cool. I mean, I guess I can... Don't ruin the hat. Why are you looking at it? It's too good. I like a good monitor. Is that a new hat? This is not just a hat this is a game changer it really is all right

is my feather facing you or it's oh yeah it's not on camera here aaron tell me it might be easier to turn your head the other way yeah which side is it on well i'm getting used to that i don't know what we'll intro the pod then we'll intro you and then you can show off your hat all right yeah quit fucking everything yeah are you nervous kev no i sense jealousy once i put this hat on i sense jealousy of course yeah dude i'm pretty i'm jelly dude i'm jelly in that hat aaron even commented before aaron didn't you comment that i was even more fuckable than usual yeah thank you 100 the exact quote all right well let's wax the gooch and go on a date at chili's what's up stokers of stoke nation this is chad kroger coming in with the going deep chat jt podcast me with my compadre Jean Thomas what up boom clap stokers and we're here with

none other than daddy with a fresh new lid on um I think the stokers got a good dose of of the lid but let's you know show it to the world tell them what's up well I think it speaks for itself but I can I can expand on it it's also a podcast a lot of its audio yeah it's a good point there okay so um you want to know about the hat and how it happened uh daddy was in long beach this weekend for the fourth of july weekend and have you got long beach is is a hidden gem it's awesome not just like the if you go to downtown, Long Beach is sort of dead. You don't really see much of it. Yeah.

And you go a little bit south because it's long. Yeah. You go down to the base. Of the Long Beach? The base of Long Beach. There's a lot of stuff there. Like what? There's a new shopping center.

There's a Ballast Point brewery. There's a whole shopping center there's there's a ballast point brewer there's a whole whole port situation going on really you know what i'm talking about yeah i love long beach yeah i like i like that it's a little crustier than some of the other beach towns like manhattan beach or or laguna beach i also like that it's uh it's a little more diverse too it's one of the few beach towns in Southern California. Other than maybe parts of San Diego, that's like a good blend of different people. Yeah, but it was really nice.

It's not just all whitey. Yeah. No offense to white people. You do have a point. Like when you go like the laugh factory there and stuff, it does feel like empty. Because that's a downtown area. You go south of there.

Why is it so empty? Yeah, why is it so empty yeah why is it so empty dude i don't know but so you go south and that's you go south because there's a dog beach there it's called rosie's dog beach right yeah yeah that's where i take the dog and he runs around on the beach because in la you can't take your dog on the beach except there um and then if you go south more, they got a new shopping center. So, you know, we were just perusing. You have a cat though, right? No. Garf's a dog? Is he trying to like dig at my dog?

I don't know. You're being gaslit. Is he trying to make a dig? Well, Garf is a cat, right? I don't know about that. It's a cat, right? Kev actually sent me a... He's actually giving you kisses.

Yeah, he's giving me kisses. Kev sent me a nice video of him taking a shit at the beach yeah i did chad likes um dogs taking a shit i do videos so whenever garth takes a shit sometimes i get it on let me tell you something that surprises me zero and then and then his wife every video his dog taking a shit you can hear his wife yelling at him in the background stop taking it's weird and i to be honest with you when chad first revealed to me that he liked videos of dogs taking shit i was a little i was taking videos of it i was all i don't this is a little much for me but i do it for my bro yeah that's really sweet that's really sweet and i i give stephanie gift certificates to applebee's oh it's like compensation for the vids yeah she likes applebee's she's from the suburbs hell yeah san clarito yeah so we're just going around and there's a

shopping center there uh and i guess it's called i didn't even know it's called brixton okay that's the store i guess it's the brand it's a hot new surf company yeah and i didn't even it's a surf company i didn't even see the i didn't even see the sign up there there was a sign on the bottom and it said check out our hat wall i was like daddy has to check out this hat wall not even for me i might have even just i just needed to see it the hat wall we went up there locked eyes on this bad boy i mean the color is fantastic yeah baby blue the gold and the gold baby blue maybe robin's egg blue whoa it's nice though it's good that's a color in fact when i was buying it there was this guy um what what would you call it a vato whoa easy dude easy or

uh am i saying the wrong word yeah a cholo a cholo i don't know if we're allowed to say either of those what is vato it's not offensive yeah no that's just like a is that like dude i think ombre's dude ombre he was in a dodgers uh jersey a really hard guy uh and uh he saw me trying it on and he knew i was gonna buy it and he said hey oh i'm gonna check out my bag and he pulled his bag and he made me look in it oh dude that's the same hat he bought the same hat that's a sign from god we connected that's nice is it nice when you go into the store and you try something on and everyone in the store oh yeah he's like it's good i did that in the store in malibu the other time i was trying on new pants and like i was kind of unsure about it and i walk out of the store and everyone's like yeah those are good pants yeah but this hat is a game this is

this is a game changer and have you worn it every day since yeah I wear it around the house too yeah yeah and only compliments I've only received compliments so far no hate no it looks great yeah are you gonna become that hat guy like are you just gonna get that one I guess we'll see time will tell but that suits you the other good thing about these hats is it has the there's a feather I don't know what kind of feather it is but at the store they had a whole wall of feathers bird feather yeah but what type of bird oh i don't know a pheasant who knows that's above my pig and yeah i was just walking uh i was walking garf and i saw a feather on the ground i could just pick that up and put it in his hat too it's feathering your cap yeah

well so this is an episode of announcements but let's start off with the biggest announcement and i think partially this might have given you the confidence to get that hat so you have always been daddy to some we've had beef about it but you're daddy thank you and now you are an official biological father i am nice congratulations yeah little harry and you named him harry for harrison harrison because your last name is fard we actually harrison was the only name We actually, Harrison was the only name. Harrison Fard. Yes, he's Harrison Fard.

I didn't get that until now. It's not a joke either. No, it's awesome. It's a good name. That's amazing. I love it. I love the name. That's great homage. We were going through all the names, all the boy names.

I hated every boy name. Went over all the white names. I can't name my kid Steve, okay? No. I can't. We'll get a Persian guy named Steve. i can't i can't name my kid steve okay no i can't look at persian guy named steve i can't do it uh we tried persian names persian names are did you land on anywhere you're like potentially interested no are awful persian names are awful um she's half thai thai names are even worse like you just annihilating entire culture in terms of their name. Daddy's Persian and we can all tell you.

What's a Persian name? Like Amir? Amir's fine, but a lot of it is like a lot of Zs. You want me to go through a list of them? Yeah, sure. I know Maz. Maz Jafari. Yeah.

Okay. You can find a couple of them, but... No, I'm just throwing out examples. No, no... We liked a couple, but none of them were like really... Hold on. And what's Stephanie's background? She's half white and half Thai.

I didn't know she was part Thai. Yeah, her mom's Thai. Thai names are even harder to... Roll off the tongue. And some of them, like like there's a thai name called porn tip you wrestled with that one a little bit like some shit that's a name it's a real name that's right up your alley though which is fine and i love thai culture i love thai people but it's a hard name and you love bangkok now that was offensive possibly that was was it i have no idea okay saying you love bangkok well i don't know just the white man saying that we're in a different realm of conversation we're just going to give everyone a pass the capital yeah i met you like going to thailand okay so there's some good like a boss i guess that's fine but then there's

abu fazal afshin al bors you know they're it they're tough they're some of them are tough and then some of them are nice but do you want to get stopped at airport security that doesn't matter i guess daddy gets stopped at airport security and with the kevin uh you do you get stopped a lot didn't we go over this the last oh you weren't here the last time that we liked. We're all Harrison. Oh, we like Harrison. We like Harrison.

And then we're all, oh, shit, it's Harrison Fard. And then half of us was like, that's a fucking awesome name. Yeah. The other half is like, is this going to be annoying for him? It will be. But he's also old. So he might be, the kids might not even know who he is.

That's what we thought. We figured nobody, and we went over this last time, nobody under 30 even knows who the fuck Neil Young is. Okay? Yeah, I didn't like that when that happened. In 20, 30 years,

or when he's growing up, are you telling me they're going to know who Harrison Ford is? I mean, I just got it, and I've known about his name for three weeks. Do you think part of the reason you like the way Harrison Ford sounds, though, is because we already had Harrison Ford in our domes as an icon? So there's a resonance to it? Yeah, and it just rolls off the tongue. But we liked Harrison to begin with.

Harrison's a good name. I think we call him Harry. And I think he's going to be called Harry. Now, the other problem with that, too, is Daddy is very hairy. And he was made fun of for his hair when he was growing up. So we don't know where Harry's going to lie on the hair spectrum. Because Stephanie's side of the family is not... Thai people aren't hairy.

The whites aren't generally hairy sometimes they are but harrison farge's epic name harry is just generally all harry's are good solid dudes so i don't think you have to worry about that harry stamper harry stamper just harry's are like you know he's just gonna be a good guy harry truman last last president who didn't go to college. Harry Styles. Harry Styles. Good guy. Harry Potter. So he's a month. He's still here.

You hadn't held a baby before him, right? I think I held one of my friend's babies. But I've been around a lot of babies. Are you used to it now? Yeah You just hold them like a football basically Just go like that two hands right? Yeah, I'm gonna rip it out Chad held him He was nervous at first, but then I held him it's scary. It's scary. I'm like, oh

Yeah, I didn't find it to be scary because you just they're so small and you can just go yeah But someone I just get in my head when someone else's baby, I'm like, I'll just look at him. That's sort of my stance. And so it has a lot of people when they go through the, the miracle of birth, when they see it,

it changes them. Have you changed? Did you feel something shift when the baby was born? Does daddy look like he's changed? I haven't changed one bit since my baby's been born. Yeah, well, I was wondering if you had. In fact, I've been more, I've doubled down on daddy since. You have?

I haven't become like a new man. So you haven't discovered a whole new type of love? I think those people that say they change after they, once their kid is born and then they suddenly see the world differently or they change, I think those people are assholes. What kind of piece of shit do you have to be,

did you change, Aaron? What were you before? Well, it's more about like when i watch something on tv or a news story or something like i now i relate more like it's not that i've changed just like now i see the stakes like they're right in front of me like if a kid gets hurt or a kid dies i'm like fuck that would suck ass like yeah i already saw stakes. You were already so riddled with empathy. Yeah. I,

I could like when a kid, you know, when a kid died two months ago, it hurt me. Now, when a kid dies later, no. And before I had a kid,

I could empathize, empathize, not emphasize, empathize with people whose kids might've died. I don't know why I'm laughing. That's sad. So I just want to make an announcement here, I guess, that daddy's the same. And I'm not going anywhere.

That's so awesome because I was worried that you'd become interested in teabagging. No. Did daddy change after he got married? No. Exactly. Is it hard raising a kid so far it the first two weeks is the feeding stuff like just feeding the kid that's the hard part but he's a pretty chill baby so it's not it's not rocket science are you uh what are you looking forward to teaching him the most what do you think law chad what do you think law oh i thought we were gonna

that was bagging no no you want like a real answer no no no uh no no we can take that back well this is your real i do i do want to do want to teach him just how not to be an asshole. Not in the sense of like, hey, he's an asshole, but like a burden on society. So just how to just, you know, be productive in society and not hurt people. Do you have like nightmares of him him at the January 6th riots just leading the charge? I have no concerns. Stephanie, sometimes she says,

what if he becomes a school shooter? How do you prevent that? I have the trick on that. Reggie taught me. What's that? You tell him you think it's cool. To be a school shooter? shooter yeah because kids don't want to do what their parents think is cool reverse psychology i like it i can dig that so should i

tell him that yeah when should i start telling them that it's cool to be a school shooter when you first start putting your sack on his face all right whoa when's that gonna happen so the thing i guess that you most want to teach him is how to drop his sack on someone's face to t-bag yes and no so t-bagging in the physical world is not something that i'm involved in right i've never actually t-bagged somebody in real life yeah we're talking virtual in the virtual world i first think i don't think i want to teach him how to t-bag i think i have to take that back i want him to get into that space himself and sort of observe what he does if you just google t-bagging just google everybody listening just google teabagging the teabagging sexual assault controversy explain social media users are debating whether teabagging and video games

should be uh considered sexual assault this is my favorite one what is teabagging video games and why is it so satisfying are you asking us no that's just the title of the thing oh that is funny what what a platform was that on that is on or which which publication threw that out um it's called jinx esports tv oh they're serious over there yeah well so do you think uh if you could make like an impassioned plea for why teabagging is important what how would you defend it teabagging it's it's hard to even have a a rational conversation about this if you're saying teabagging they're saying teabagging is sexual assault. I mean, I would see it if you've actually teabagged in a game. It's not really teabagging in that sense.

It's not like the character pulls down his pants and then a fat sack drops on the screen and then it's just pounding against somebody's face. It's just this robotic character. And he's going... It's crouching up and down. And it's fully clothed. I think that's a good point. When we say it's teabagging, the bagging is happening mostly in our imaginations.

It's not happening on the screen. So for somebody to say that after they die on the game and for you probably from your perspective if you die and somebody teabags you you probably see it depending on the game for like less than a second

you see a little then it's done to say that that is something harmful or offensive or harassment, I mean, it doesn't compute here. And it's not assault. We got to stop using this word assault. Assault is literally an attempted battery. A battery is when you physically attack somebody.

So let's say I take a gun and I shoot you and the bullet hits you. Or let's just say I take the gun and I whip you with the gun and I hit you. That's battery. Assault is if I take the gun and maybe I throw with the gun and I hit you. That's battery. Assault is if I take the gun and maybe I throw it at you and it misses you. That's assault. So to say my character going, dun, dun, dun, dun, is a sexual assault, I think it's stretching a little far. I don't even know if the people complaining about it are serious or not,

or if this just becomes a thing that happens on them. I'm not too active in the online communities. I don't know if this is a serious thing or not. No, I'm with you. I think it might be a good city council speech. Yeah. We could bring you in, Kevin, as our legal expert on bagging. And you could get into the kind of legal nitty gritty of what it means to actually cross into assault.

Yeah. But again, there's two sides to everything. So I would love to hear from people on the other end of it who have been teabagged in Halo or Call of Duty. And then the other weird thing is the teabagging usually happens after you have been brutally murdered on the game. So if it's Halo or Call of Duty, you get shot and then blood splatters everywhere.

In Call of Duty, your head falls off and it's the most grotesque thing ever. But you're drawing a line with the teabag, which doesn't make much sense. I mean, you know, I think it's important to hear from other people's perspectives, but I think it's mostly disgruntled people who've been killed a lot in the game,

and they're annoyed by the constant teabagging um to which i would just say you know get your skills up and teabag back now having said that maybe what i just said should i be canceled for what i just said have i said something crazy i don't think so well here's the thing yeah here's an important point too i don't know though is that we we really enjoy getting t-bagged back that's the other thing yeah that's the weird thing too it's mostly just guys just doing it to guys it's and i mean i guess it could it's it's not like a man or woman thing i guess it's not even you don't even know who you're teabagging right it's just a it's just a character yeah well I I can say from

personal experience whenever I get teabagged it's my favorite part of session yeah you love it I love it so I don't know if we would be I don't know if we would be who we were if we if it wasn't for teabagging and i think you can separate since the teabagging isn't like it's not graphic on the screen and it doesn't really show it i i don't know if it bleeds into real life i haven't had the urge to trip somebody in the on the street and uh drop sack on. You haven't had that? No. And teabagging was a thing in real life before video games. I think I've done it, but I don't remember.

Oh, no. Yeah. I stuck my penis in Strider's ear one time. But I guess the devil. Is that a teabag? No. Did your sack hit his ear? No, it was just penis.

No. He got me back though. He told everyone at school the next day my dick was really little nice so then i challenged him to a dick off at the end of the day and who won that we both bailed oh wait how far into his ear did it go was he asleep no he was standing were you erect no just a flask so you just smushed it into his ear basically yeah and I guess we're still friends yeah it's you know things happen

how would you go about outlawing it like you have to be able to crouch there was a I don't know if it's real but there's a game that I don't play that's called Valorant and I read it I don't know if it's real or not that said basically that they're banning people for teabagging oh they're just gonna kick out people

who do it after the fact yeah and the the censorship of teabagging is only going to make it stronger yeah and i don't i don't know to be devil's advocate, they're saying in the game, I consent to being brutally murdered, but I don't consent. To being celebrated over. It's like when you find out how they rate movies in Europe, and they're like, if there's boobs in it, they still give it a PG, but if there's a gunshot in it, they make it R. But here, we're the opposite. We're like, if you got boobies you're rated r but you can

shoot some dude's head off and you're still pg yeah and do they even do ratings anymore yeah but people really pay attention like on netflix and amazon do they do all that i'll tell you what yeah the new anna de armas marilyn monroe movie n c17 oh wow anna de armas she's from um what's that what's that movie with a blade runner speaking of her it's for the new blade runner yeah you got a nice smile on your face she did it for you in that one she's mostly a voice right no she's like an avatar sort of. Oh, okay. Oh, yeah. That's cool.

So we have one other big announcement. Yeah. Guys, we've been talking about it forever. We haven't been able to say what it is, but on August 23rd, tell them, Chad. We got a TV show coming out on Netflix. Yep. Six episodes. got a tv show coming out on netflix yeah six episodes this is three and four months in the making we three and four months yeah i would say years yeah well yeah i guess if you count like

stand up and figuring covid the delay in covid no three no oh yeah three years oh i thought you said three or four months sorry no no no three years and four months oh okay from when we sold it we went into netflix we had like a round of pitches that week we were in a groove on the netflix one it felt good yeah they were laughing a lot that was that was a good time i remember afterwards we were like kind of like we asked because we're working with absolutely productions on it and we asked our head guy dave we're like how do you think that went he's like i think that was good it's good we're like okay and then uh they bought it they told us they were gonna make it we had a writer's room everything takes forever and so it was like a long slog of a process like we're kind of different people than we were when we sold it.

And then we shot it and we were going to shoot. And we were going to shoot two years ago and change. And we were doing a city council meeting for the show. And we had all our production ready. All these people hired. Outfits were getting picked. Locations were getting picked. And then we were

at a city council meeting and the mayor came up and said tom hanks and rudy gobert had covid and that the world was about to change and then it did and we waited and we're so lucky yeah because a lot of things you know we're a week into shooting covet happened you never hear from him again but we're grateful to netflix and ben cavey for sticking with us and uh yeah now it's coming out yeah there was i mean i remember it was march 13th 2020 and uh that was crazy and we were so optimistic during the first part of covet where we're like you know they're like two weeks to stop the spread or whatever so we're like all right i think we'll be back in swing and swing of things in like may and then um and then it just gets pushed we're like oh maybe maybe it'll be july i think july and then we're like oh maybe maybe the fall and then by the time it was like november and then covid was just still spiking and stuff,

we're, like, you know, just because we just couldn't. We're interacting with the public. It's, like, you know, we're interacting with the real world in the show. So it was, like, very difficult to shoot it during COVID. So by that point, we're, like, all right, this is going to be. By the time the vaccine comes out, I think that's all right this is gonna be by the time the vaccine comes out i think that's what we're like by the time vaccine comes out then flash forward to fall of 2021 we finally got to start shooting but like yeah huge thanks to everyone for sticking with us and and um you know we're just on like a very long pause but i think the show i think the show really

benefited from it i think so too um because we really really were able to hone in on what we wanted to do we got to take some time because daddy's in the show got to take some time with daddy yeah yeah like a whole episode we took some time with daddy to go shoot some extra stuff. Oh, yeah. In the winter of 2021. That was fun. I think actually March 13th. March 12th, I was supposed to go to Catalina. I think pretty much by myself. I was supposed to go before even official shooting started.

Really? Before COAT. And then that got canceled. And then the other stuff got canceled. Yeah. But yeah, it gave us more time i think yeah to sort of get things right yeah no it's better for it and then yeah striders in it he's a huge part of it my mom's jt's mom yeah well not just uh your mom and then uh your dad

yeah yeah yeah our dads we got everybody in there it's really fun i'm really excited for it to come out and for everybody to get a chance to see it not everybody's in there aaron's not in there i'm not in there but i'm there's another person i don't know joe oh joe mauricio oh yeah so if you're wondering what we were arguing with joe about it was because uh he couldn't be on the show unless he got vaxxed which sucked and you know he stuck to his guns and we love him for it yeah but uh hopefully season two if we shoot in Florida yeah we'll get him in there yeah it was fun learned a lot Dan Lucchese is our director yeah so for a lot of people who you know we came out like that mask video and like summer

2020 and stuff and started doing videos with Dan. And Dan signed on to be our director, you know, like summer of 2019. So, it was actually nice during COVID that we got to like shoot some stuff with him outside of the, you know, we just got to shoot some videos with him outside of the main production, which was nice. And he's the best. He's from England and he's just like. That's why we hired him.

Very chill guy. We had a meeting with like five different potential showrunners. He came in with his British accent and he was being kind of like very artsy and he was like a little bit jittery and he was like, I have a vision. I want to see you guys as legends yeah you're like yeah dude and uh yeah what else i mean the tough part too is not being able to say anything uh although i think it's better that we you know we get to like you know just drop it now but you know it's like uh uh you know just not being able to really talk

about it publicly uh because it took up a ton of our time so people are kind of like what are you guys doing we're like yeah you know just doing our thing um so it's nice to finally be able to talk about it it is really nice yeah i would get so freaked out too so by the time the show comes out the official announcement will be yeah by the time this pod comes out it'll be two days after the announcement yeah i remember like like there's so many instances where i'd be like make sure you don't say that we have show because we can't announce it yet she's like so paranoid about that no you were good though yeah because i'm a blabbermouth i would have told everybody oh no i'm talking about like in times when we got on like other people's

podcasts and stuff yeah you can't mention that though don't fucking say it because they kind of scared us straight with that too so dave the guy who runs abso who's yeah like i genuinely look up to him so much he's one of the few people i can like, I'm like, I would follow this guy anywhere. He's just an inspiring person and has good taste and is always sensible and strong. And he was like, look, we had another guy on a Netflix show and he announced it before he was supposed to and he almost lost the show. Yeah. And then so he read us the right act and we're like, okay, we're not saying a fucking word. Yeah.

That was scary. It was scary. It's almost like when a parent tells you like, like hey i have a friend who played with fireworks and blew his hand off dude yeah i don't want that to happen dude scared me straight bro but dude yeah i um but and i uh yeah i love the show we were editing it all this year it's so fun and i i think that's it you know i hope everyone you guys all love it but i think we all enjoy watching it i think they'll enjoy it a lot especially the people watching this show yeah it's very you know or what listening this podcast

i think they're gonna i think it's very true to our roots but but it's like a, it's like a good sort of transition from like staying true to, you know, our original kind of content and style, but putting that in a television format. Yeah. And I think we did that well without sort of losing our, um, uh,

authenticity. Dan, Dan was very good at just letting you guys or whoever just do what we wanted to do yeah but having his sort of directing vision yeah but yeah shaping it but not like he had a lot in his dome every day he had to come on the set and be think juggling like 10 different things yeah he did a good job yeah Yeah, I'm pumped. Yeah. We hope you guys like it.

I think it's going to be good. Did you watch it? No, I've not seen it. I've got to send it to you. Do you want it to be sented or do you want to wait? I kind of want to watch it. Until it's on Netflix. Yeah.

I kind of do. And then just take it all in. I have a hard time looking at links people send me. Yeah, you get a lot of them. Unless it's a porno link. Yeah, and it's only a month away. My anniversary is four days later. It's coming out of my brother's birthday.

Whoa. That's cool. I actually have court that morning. It's actually for my case. I'm suing my old landlord. Oh, really? And... That guy's fucked, dude.

The hearing is that morning. Your old landlord and what? Small claims court. Oh, and small claims. Can you dive into the details? I'm not going to really dive into the details, but it's a dispute over um our security deposit yeah and it's our opinion that they have violated the law

and they're basically like what do you you know do you basically landlords they'll do stuff to you and they're gonna what are you gonna do waste your time and go into small claims and, and sue me. Yeah. Like daddy will. So I love that you're always willing to take up that fight. You got to do it. Not just for me, but for the people,

you know? So, uh, let's take it to him. Is he going to meet you there? He's agreed to go. How does it work? Like a small claims lawsuit is just like,

uh, any other lawsuit, except it's's there's no like first of all you're not allowed to have attorneys in there so you can't have like a you can't hire an attorney to represent you it's sort of think of it like judge judy it's basically like that but real it's like that's what it is and so you'll be representing yourself no i won't be representing myself i will be myself good that's awesome never changed bro so we'll see the the morning i'll be in in small claims

an evening you'll be watching yourself on netflix or maybe the judge will with his hey plug this show with this job yeah maybe i will tell everyone in court yeah so you uh can you tell us about the time you got stopped at an airport oh yeah i tried no i could well the time i get stopped in the airport i get you guys never get checked when you go through the airport i used to not as much but yeah you know and i'm not saying it's because i'm middle eastern but i get i get stopped a lot but the most egregious time was when they confiscated my pistachios let me explain it to you uh this was like maybe six years ago my dad i went to visit my dad uh and he gave me a bag of of pistachios you know they're middle eastern the persian nuts they're actually persian

they're from iran i could have named him pistachio fard um that's actually a pretty cool name stash so he gave me a bag and likeash. So he gave me a bag of... Like this. See this? He gave me a bag of pistachios. It was sealed, unopened. And then so I'm going through the airport line. When they pull you aside, they go, okay, you step to the side because you're going to get checked.

And sometimes they'll swipe. They have a little swiping for bomb residue. So usually they'll do that like on you. That's never happened to you? Yeah. Okay. So they'll do a little bomb swipe on you. He grabs my bag of pistachios.

He says, I'm going to have to swipe these. And then he gives it a swipe. And he looks at me and he says, we're going to have to get into these. And then he has a garbage can here. Or we're going to toss it. We're going to have to get into these. And he has a garbage can here. Or we're going to toss it. We're going to have to get into these pistachios. Or we're going to toss it in the trash. Like threatening to throw it away in the trash can.

And I don't want you good. What, after you've just molested the last four people coming through the line? And then you're going to put those hands in my bag of nuts and you're just gonna what you're just gonna go through it no everything's fine here here's your nuts so what'd you say i said no and he's fine and he threw it in the in the trash can i think that trash can is was his like his stash yeah where he just takes shit he wants pistachios are an expensive nut so so the whole thing is i felt her well first of all pistachios are middle eastern nuts i feel like if i had a white nut like a cashew or uh he had like planters if he had like mr peanut yeah the you know i would have been fine, but...

If you would have gone peanuts, they wouldn't have even been checked. I feel like my Middle Eastern nuts, I was being discriminated twice there. Yeah. Do you think he ate the nuts? I think he ate the nuts. It's been bothering me for... Did you look inside his bin? Did you see what else was in there?

Maybe like a limo or 4.0? I didn't do that but you know i don't have any i don't have any proof but i've been i've been through it do you think it was like a thing where you can't bring back certain food items no he he was pretty uh clear that there's something suspicious about this bag of nuts yeah you've seen them fair what what they have commercials right the pistachios come it's wonderful right yeah they're green if it was a loose bag of nuts i could you know maybe you know there's like nut dust

you know and it's all over the place maybe dudes i gotta confess to something have i been acting weird yeah i took a little bit of mushrooms earlier and i think it's hitting me harder than i thought it do you think that's why we're having some like we're having a lot of pauses this episode yeah how much i fell in the pauses how much so i think i did a gram okay well you did a gram at least you didn't do wait gram's not a lot that's yeah you didn't do much isn't eight three and an eighth is yeah yeah is three and something three 280 milligrams is that two that's i think an eighth is like 3.75 grams something like that i might have done two grams how many oh wow you

know i don't think so let me look at it two grams you'd be sort of like on a couch and feeling it how long ago did you did you have it? Well, I started with one, I didn't feel anything. And then so I took a couple more. So you take caps? Yeah. Oh, okay. Huh.

Do you feel like shrooms help conversation? Normally it helps me a lot. really but uh i feel bad now like you feel bad are you are they no i feel bad like i'm not podcasting well i mean it's i wouldn't have said asked you if you're on mushrooms before you said it yeah oh okay cool yeah i didn't i didn't suspect you were on mushrooms. I'm on... Okay, so I took four 280 milligram ones, so I'm on like a gram. Oh, okay.

So, I mean... You guys are the best, dude. You guys are so chill. I mean, it's clearly, it's hitting you a little bit, but I mean, are you seeing... The computer's moving a little funny. Okay. What's daddy's hat doing?

Daddy's hat still looks cool. What about the... Actually, I like it more now. Yeah. I always liked it, but I like it little funny. Okay. What's daddy's hat doing? Daddy's hat still looks cool. What about the color? Actually, I like it more now. Yeah. I always liked it, but I like it more now. Nice. It is a beautiful color. Should we cut out the part where I talk about teabagging his son?

No. Is that bad? You're the dad here. Well, I don't know if the general audience, what do you think? Teabagging my son? Yeah. You think that's cool if I talk about dropping sack what do you think well i thought it was funny back my son well i thought it was funny when i said it and then i got my head mushrooms too what's going on here no it's a little contagious yeah i got my head about you

know because i love dropping sack so much no but now the internet I'm not the dad I'm not the dad to I'm not the dad to it's going to be hard to offend me. I had one comic was really serious and he was all you named him you named him Harrison Farr

that's fucked up and stuff like that. Who said that? I'm not going to No, call him out. No, I'm not going to call him out because then you get

his name out. Okay, well, hey will you tell us his name so we can talk about him but then we'll bleep his name out so no one will know. No, I'm not I'm i'm not but i want to know because it's better for conversation i'm not going to name names but he was really mean about it he was really being about

the name but if you tell us who it is and we can join in and talk about the guy i don't want to talk about i just let's just leave it at that we're not naming names well you'll tell us after right yeah i'll tell you after um fuck that guy i mean i mean i want to know but you know what i i i really think that if a video game had a bagging option you know this is more if you had the consent there was one no like no like a bagging option where the character literally takes his sack out of his pants and drops it on your face. But you can consent to that one. So you literally die and you see testicles in your face. Who would say yes to that?

I would say yes to that. I would never stop playing. Microsoft is going to put that function in for one day. Dude, I would never stop laughing. And then you could design your bag. There is a huge market for it. I'm telling you. There's a huge market for sack. You could design your back. There is a huge market for it. I'm telling you. There's a huge market for set.

You could customize your back. You could customize your back. You actually want to see it. I want to see it. Yeah. You're going to earn points to get the best set. Yeah, can you imagine if the player shoots you and then just runs up and just unzips?

Yeah, but you know the part when you're creating a character in those games and it's like it's like a 3d and it's circling around and you're designing your character and like you add clothes to your character and stuff like that so it'll just be a just a fat like just raw canvas of a bag and then you can like change the skin tone you can add hair shave it you know make the balls long or round one ball maybe he's a cancer survivor i like that yeah i'm just yeah i guess i'm in my own head just like trying to picture what's a primo nut sack no hair right i like a nice clean nut sack no hair but i can really picture it i trim my sack hairs oh yeah i use a lawnmower 4.0 and i i get

in there i have gray pubes now you have gray pubes i have some well wow i get i'm getting great i have great beard hairs but it hasn't reached my uh sack yet it's weirder when it gets to your sack like the beard on my head i was fine with but then when i saw him on my balls i was like i want my balls to look younger younger. Are they starting to hang more? No, they're hanging the same. I've always had a lot of elasticity in my balls. They hang like super low. Oh, nice.

Actually, there's some pods you can watch where I'm wearing shorts and you can like see my nuts. Nice. Now, how do you know if you're... You notice that? I assume you could. How short your shorts are sometimes. Nice. If your sack runs low, how do you know, like, compared to other people?

No, because I used to pull my dick out a lot at parties, and people would tell me, your balls hang low. Oh, nice, dude. And some guy, he wasn't even a close friend. None of my close friends said it, but this guy who was a close friend of one of my close friends said, you got grandpa balls. And I guess every time he asked about me to my buddy, he goes how's grandpa balls doing dude nice wow i wonder what your

balls are going to look like when you're actually a grandpa age i don't know man i don't know if i'm gonna make it that long i'm trying to go out on my sword on a motorcycle on pch at 50. do you hear about par no and i'll get stuff done to my balls i'll shoot some hgh and i'm giving that nice firmness is it a prince albert or that's through your shaft that's who you should when you put a like a ring through what is it called when you do it through your balls i don't know i don't get that you know some chicks are into that shit there was i was on set one time as a pa and there was a crazy clown guy i think he's pretty popular on youtube he's covered in tattoos not an inch of his skin is like looks like normal human skin it's all been tattooed he's got piercings everywhere and i remember the ad who was like a super normal person came up to me and was like he's hot i'm

into that really and i was like what the fuck yeah but she was like i think she was like really jonesing for him interesting would you how's your load size what well we talked about this on this first you asked me that every time but the load size never do you send me something where your load size can increase but it looks it looks suspect like a supplement yeah but i'm not i'm not trying to get my take it get those yeah i'm not trying to get them bigger i'm fine i i mean i'm just stating as a fact daddy you need to have some big fat yeah you need to increase your size that'd be huge i mean daddy had a baby the loads are doing something that's true you do

we know you're potent and i'm telling you i wasn't just dropping loads i we weren't trying but you know i'd love you even if you weren't potent right yeah all right that'd be pretty weird if that's how you if that's how you picked your friend group i was like i was like kevin's on the outs you can't make a baby jeff jeff has been trying to have a baby for you know a few months now yeah right um you weren't trying to have a kid no that's awesome i have a friend who had a load journal they were trying to have a kid and No. That's awesome. I have a friend who had a load journal. They were trying to have a kid, and every time he dropped a load, he'd write it down in his journal.

So they keep it so they know, oh, I missed my period. When was the last time you dropped a load? Yeah. We had an app. That makes sense. It was just a powerful load, I guess, and then boom and then boom baby you know the app makes it more normal there's something about having like a molasses skin journal and writing down like in a place where most people write their feelings they're like work was hard today i'm really frustrated with carl but i have to work with him and figure it's like it's like i came today yeah yeah and then too i mean does he record every single load or just

yeah i think when they start trying he dropped okay it's time and then he drops a load and goes okay i dropped the load uh on so-and-so date because when you get pregnant when we went to the doctor did i make it seem like if i'm not saying he would harry was uh no it's a blessing yeah no no but we weren't planning out there's none of it was just it was just you know if it happens it happens um you pulled the goalie and she doesn't let me just drop loads all the time i'm you know my loads usually go into a napkin while she's asleep on the couch downstairs and daddy's upstairs in his room i thought you meant while you guys are hooking up pull it out and then get a napkin oh because when when you go to the doctor and you're

oh i'm pregnant they go oh okay well when was the last your last period or when was your last load well that would i think that would help you know his or when was the last? When was your last load? Well, I think that would help. That's the first time I heard of a load journal. But that would help narrow it down. Okay, I dropped loads on this date. I dropped a load on this date. Which friend is this?

His name's Matt. Do we know Matt? I don't think you've met him. Is he at your bachelor party? No, he wasn't there there we should make load journals yeah i'm down to keep one and just share on a group thread about it just shout out to matt telling each other when we come i don't know maybe he's maybe he wanted to keep it private i want to keep it private yeah it's better that's better i just want people to come over it's like on my it's like one of my coffee table books.

They're like, what's that? That's my load journal. It's almost as, yeah, it's or you're like, you don't call it your load journal. You're like, it's some girl you're just starting to see. She's like, what's that on your coffee table?

You're like, that's my journal. You go to the bathroom. She's like, oh, let's see what he's been writing about. She cracks it up and it's like, I came yesterday. I came today. So you're going to take your load journal monologue is just opening it just all sticky this guy's inner monologue is specific like what kind of journal is this oh that's my load journal

i'm a little kid like that i could you know that's kind of an ideal relationship right you just text your girlfriend every time you're like hey i dropped a load i came yeah hey that's nice you're gonna take your load journal from your bedroom and then you're gonna put it under your coffee table you you would keep it in a private or are you journaling maybe you have it there and then after you drop i sleep in the living room so that okay okay so if i'm journaling i'm out there okay i wonder if he like adds to it too he didn't describe it but does he just write i dropped a load on this day or does it sort of like a i dropped a load on this day it was one of the more powerful loads i've had you know i was feeling kind of you know strong because i worked out in the morning you know what i I'm saying? August 23rd on Netflix. Get your answer.

What? I don't know. It's just funny that, I guess it was funny to me that we have a TV show and we're talking about cum. We have a TV show, but let's get back to it. Yeah, I mean, I think that makes perfect sense. Have you tasted your semen before? I haven't.

Have you tasted semen before? No. I've heard it's salty though i've never tasted it i'm not interested no oh yeah yeah someone was asking me like you know what it smells like though aloe vera i love aloe it smells like aloe vera i've smelled that i've gotten a whiff of it before you might is that your jizz smells like or maybe is it aloe um i'm talking about your college roommate rick his you know aloe's good for your skin yeah rick if you get a sunburn well yeah because rick yeah well because rick had a bottle and i had a really gnarly sunburn yeah and i was just like putting on i was like i was like dude this is great aloe where'd you get this he's like that's from my cock i was like oh yeah i was like i hate to break the story but your friend probably gave you yeah so

and then you think it's aloe vera smells like his load right oh well it helped my sunburn for sure yeah like i didn't peel or anything i've been watching a lot of um survival shows because i'm going backpacking uh at the end of the month oh hell yeah go backpacking every year to the eastern sierras well i started last year so it's now a yearly thing uh and i watched have you seen alone yeah i think they just released speaking of netflix they released like i think it's on the history channel but they released it on that i've been watching a lot of Alone, and then I've been binging Pawn Stars. You guys watch Pawn Stars? You keep taking these big pauses.

You're expecting... I'm trying to see if anybody can watch it. I'm on season... I've watched... Aaron, you don't watch Pawn Stars? Not regularly, but I've seen it. You look like a guy who watches Pawn Stars. Come on.

You see this when you get mad at us. None of us have heard of Pawn Stars. You've never even heard of Pawn Stars? Not regularly, but I've seen it. You look like a guy who watches Pawn Stars. Come on. You see this when you get mad at us. Yeah. None of us have heard of Pawn Stars. You've never even heard of Pawn Stars? No, what is it? What the fuck are you even talking about? It's a play on Pawn Stars, but it's a guy that owns, uh, the title is. The guy owns a Pawn Stars. I don't think it's a play. Pawn Stars, Pawn Stars.

It is a play on that? I never knew that. Yeah. So he owns a pawn shop in Vegas. You've probably seen clips of it. And it just has people come in and buy shit from him. Or try to like, yeah. But it's a lot of like, they make it like a lot of historical items or something. And then, you know, that's it.

But I'm hooked. I'm watching the whole, I'm watching, it's like 20 seasons. I'm watching all of them. Oh, you're starting from the beginning? Yeah, well, yeah. I see, I watched the last, and then I'm all, oh, I love this.

This makes a lot, because you love to negotiate. Yeah, maybe that's it. Oh yeah, there's a lot of negotiations. Try, I'll do what they do. Pick something up. How much for this Halo doll? No, you want to sell it to me hey i got this halo doll um i want to sell it to you for five grand it's a one of a kind we got it

from a guy who's like a halo expert you might have to take a look at it yeah go for it and then what they'll do is because it's set up they'll give like a backstory that they would never know in their in their in real life like they wouldn't know it off the top of their head but they'll be like oh yeah halo halo was a video game started in 2000 uh you know many people like to teabag on that game uh sold uh over five billion copies since you know they say all this shit that you would never know because it's the history channel so they're trying to maybe educate you and then he goes uh well how much you trying to get out of it uh five thousand no uh no that's my final price look i look that's an original you got to realize i can't give you retail on this.

I have to sell it again. And I have some concerns with it. But it's pristine. That's in mint condition. It's only been in my podcast studio. You know what? I have a, I don't know much about these dolls,

but I have a friend who knows that. Do you mind if we get him in here? He can tell me what it's worth. Sure. Hey, what's up, guys? And up guys and then uh and then uh oh please welcome chad he owns a toy shop down the street what's up dudes hey take a look at it it's mint condition oh yeah halo yeah this game was starting in 2000 now my concerns with it is the green is a little off like the t-bag yeah the green is a little bit faded did you take this out never never that's in the case the creases in the box

would say otherwise really um that's never been out of the case and looks like there's three different languages on here that would mean it's not premium edition what do you think it would go for? I'd say a dollar. Dollar? Look, I'll give you 50 cents for it. But I got to sell it again. You know, that's the best I can do. How much are you going to sell it for? I could probably put it up there, you know, 75 cents, 80 cents.

I'm not, I need real money. I can't, I could get that. I could get 4,000 for that somewhere else well how much did you pay right now how much did you pay for that it was a gift

here you go and how much did the guy tell you it was he told me it was worth a million dollars wait buddy you got another thing coming I mean he got that

at a fair if he's lucky look this is what I can do I'll give you a buck 25 that's as high as I can go I can't do that do they always win in pond stars it's nice doing business with you oh that's how they win nice doing business with you is that how he ends it yeah nice doing business

with you that's powerful i felt that and then they interview the guy so now you're you're being interviewed it's your um outside yeah they're asking you how it went so how'd it go uh you know we came in here with high hopes. I thought I was going to sell it for five grand. I'm walking away still with the doll, which has some sentimental value for me, but yeah, going to stay positive. Going to stay positive. But I was definitely expecting a sale. Sky got

ripped. Yeah, that's pretty much how the show goes. And that's every single transaction. But I love it. That sounds great. Yeah. Do you like Shark Tank? it. That sounds great. Yeah. Do you like Shark Tank? I do like Shark Tank. Yeah.

Similar kind of vibe, right? Yeah. Shark Tank's more of the valuation and stuff. This is more of a negotiation thing. Shark Tank's more of a... I don't know if esoteric is the right way, but you can't really relate to that negotiation unless you're like a monopit or you're starting something up because you're not valuating. You're not giving a value to your company. Right.

But that and then I'm watching alone. What's that? Alone is basically like they put 10 people who are now they're basically like survival experts at the beginning. They were just like people. But now they put like real like survival experts at the beginning they were just like people but now they put like real like survival experts so guys who like are hunters and know how to survive they put them on in like a remote area in canada and they just drop them off and the last person standing wins oh that's cool so they're just they're just living off the elements that's cool you know

you should watch chan jt go deep on netflix coming out august 23rd and what on what netflix netflix it's six episodes okay around 20 to 25 minutes each really fun really fun e it's funny it's funny funny and uh just a good good hang yeah chad remember you're sober right now yeah i think it's the couch dude when you sit in this couch yeah it's the mustard color and loopiness is contagious yeah and loads and so we're set on a name going deep oh yeah chad and jt go deep chad and jt go deep yeah we had to do like a three-hour zoom on the what the names could be that was kind of the first name we had and we

stuck with it it's funny well first one was going to be going deep the legend of chad and jt but that was too much of a mouthful right yeah that's right that's right and then uh yeah i think i like chad and gt go deep more uh me too i do it does roll off the tongue easier it's yeah quicker to say and uh it's very active it's sort of like we're going deep right yeah there was something about legend that felt retrospective right yeah and then like the going deep is sort of like it's good for the podcast but for this i think i think for the show it's so action it's like chanatee go deep yeah right now so are you on august 23rd yeah watch it so we get a second season and ironically going deep is something that people with small

dongs never experience here's the thing man like you make that first season you're stoked the minute you finish it you're just like we need a season two and we want to go to florida we'll go to florida for season two it'll be really fun you guys love the show you're gonna watch it uh are we saying kev sorry oh i was just making a dick joke go uh ironically going deep i mean i feel like we have small dongs we don't go that you've never gone deep never yeah that's true don't look at me sometimes when you you got it it just got has to hit at the time you can't tell it again wait aaron you don't have a small dog no but i'm an ally this is news to me how big is your load big enough oh yeah he has a potent load too but the potency is not the size of the load i don't think correlates with the potency well

i'm glad to know that because now you know we have two examples here of sort of mid-level load size but high potency i think it has to do with like the noise you make when it comes out yeah what noise do you actually make yeah do you make it i can't picture you making a noise no not i i sometimes i make noises but as like a joke and she doesn't like that so i'll go oh yeah you like it yeah she fucking hates it girls don't like that oh really you also like that and then before before even beforehand sometimes i'll baby daddy's gonna's going to come. Before you actually come. I like to do a deep voice. Ooh, baby, daddy's going to come.

Daddy's going to come. Do you say taste a lot? No, I should incorporate that. I like to get a deep voice and then go next to her ear. This is before we're doing it and just go, oh, yeah. Dude, that's making my pussy dry. Yeah, I'm telling you. She fucking despises it, but it's so fun.

Right. Yeah, it's fun. It's sexy for you. It is sex, but you know, what if my voice really was that deep? She wouldn't like that? Should we prank call her? Weren't we going to prank call your wife? Oh yeah.

Do you want to do that before questions we got 30 minutes left what's the angle um i think uh what does she do professionally dude i don't think she has your guys's phone numbers on her phone what does she do professionally what lawyer okay what kind of cases does she do um she does like defense, but I don't think that's not going to get her. Here's what you should do. Can I give you a suggestion? She has a dentist appointment next week. Call from the dentist's office.

Do you know the office? No, but she doesn't know the office either. I made the appointment for her. I don't even know the name of that. Okay. You make up a dentist and you're confirming her appointment. Then ask her some questions like no i got this i got this i got this what's her phone number

we're not gonna have the phone number if you ask oh yeah right right you want to punch it in so wait so what's the angle um i'm gonna call her as the dentist but then i'm gonna get no not not as the dentist as the dentist office yeah no no i know and you're confirming her appointment yeah um and think of some questions to ask her maybe has she you know size of your load no i won't go there you gotta ask her some normal questions first and then go into like well i guess What's your concern? What weird direction are we going to go in? I'll feel that. The confirmation questions, you can ask weird questions.

You see what I'm saying? So they usually ask you like... Just rock with me. I got this. Make sure to bring your insurance card. He has it. He has it. Let's see how this works. You got to open your phone again.

Yeah. You want open your phone again. You wanna punch it in? Yeah. You don't know the name of the dentist office? So I can just make up a name? I honestly don't know. She doesn't know though. I scheduled it for her. So she has no idea.

Okay. Just make it sound believable. What part of town are we in? It's in Studio City. Does she know my voice? Are you going to do your voice? I'm going to slightly change it. Do a woman's voice.

That's not going to work. We don't want to do anything that's going to give it away too quick. It's got to be believable. Add a little tweak to it. Okay. How does it sound? Hello? Stephanie?

This is Dr. Liu's office calling. Does that sound too much like... Do even more. um do even more yeah even more okay uh hi stephanie this is mark calling from dr lou's office yeah oh wait but are you doing with your area code okay fuck it is she gonna pick up She knows I'm here, so maybe not. But she wouldn't expect you to prank call her during the pod. Just call her.

Wait, if she doesn't pick up, who are we doing next? Joe? He knows all our numbers. Your call has been forwarded to an audience maybe yeah um can we call one of your buddies like just a random person can we call a load journal

can we call a load journal and be like we found a weird journal at work we can't do that we found a weird journal at work oh and we have my friend Matt Oh, yes, we can do that. We found a weird journal at work. Yeah, let's do that. Who are we following? My friend, Matt, who has a load journal, and he is from Orange County, so you're a number one spooker.

Okay, cool. Just in case you found a lost, you found a load journal. A journal that details ejaculations? What's his last name for for our knowing we'll bleep it out but that would that would assume that he was um writing his whole name on his little journal oh i think the shrooms just wore off a little bit i think i'm back were you on were you like floating a little bit yeah that's cool yeah more than i wanted to but still fun still an experience all right mark muller matt matt muller but you don't even know his name just just i find your load

his name's probably in the journal right yeah oh yeah like how to get his number his number wasn't it what's up stokers i'm interrupting this podcast for a little hoo-wah hoo-weh yeah we got tour dates coming up we're gonna be in the carolinas we're gonna be in chicago nashville new york uh we got shows in la we got shows we're going everywhere so get your show get your tickets at chenjt.com you will not miss out i guarantee you it'll be a fun time always a fun time we bring out the whole squad and it's epic and then we are also of course brought to you by the legends at manscape manscape thank you so much for keeping our trims peeved for looking after our hogs for making sure that our dinks are looking fresh and clean because you got a dink yeah you got a dick and you got some balls under there and you got that was some kitchen disarray in the background but i'm talking about the lawnmower 4.0 this is the best in the biz guys this is going to get your pubes trimmed

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on earth more like heaven on girth so take this micro mode all fabric that's buttery soft and put it on your nuts with manscape and use the code go deep to get 20 off plus free shipping with the code go deep at manscape.com that's 20 off plus free shipping with code go deep at manscape.com up your crotch game because once the boxers 2.0 touch your sack you'll never go back all right back to the show. People don't answer their phones anymore. Unless they know who it is. Hey, let's try this gal I went to high school with.

Someone type it into their phone it's funny because me and strider used to do this shit to her when we were like 19 so it'll be funny getting her again what's the what's the call gonna be low journal no uh what'd she do let's do a dentist appointment i I don't know. It'll just be weird. How's your speakerphone? It's good. It's good? All right. We're Carl and Max. We're going to get someone.

Ooh. Brett Banta? Ooh. Does he have all of our numbers he doesn't have Aaron's Aaron can we borrow your phone I have a 619 area code though that's okay

yeah he has my number sorry bro I know it's very personal it's fine let's go that's Brett right yeah let's go that's Brett right yeah what angle are you going to go with him what should we do he seems like the kind of guy who would pick up his phone too.

Hello? Hello? He just seems like a curious person. It's so tough with prank calling because you want to text him, but hey, bro, pick up your phone. Yeah. We could call a business. yeah we could call a business

there's something about knowing please leave your message guy doesn't even have a machine come on Brett weird um oh I was thinking that

I was thinking that yeah dude yeah okay that's fun Kevin you call her she'll pick up Oh. I was thinking that. I was thinking that. Yeah, dude. Yeah. Okay, that's fun. Kevin, you call her. She'll pick up. This is Bella Brewster, Jordana Brewster's phone number. She's a good friend of the pod.

She's going to answer our San Diego phone number? Yeah, I don't think she... She's like Brad. She's curious. She's looking to mix it up. And what's your angle here? It's got to be from you. Yeah.

She knows our voices. Just talk to her. Just be weird. You don't even have to just say, hey, this is Kevin. And just see where it goes. This doesn't sound like a prank. It is a prank because you're messing with her. We need an angle.

Okay, we need an angle. I think you guys know her just change your voice change your voice and think of it okay i got it i got it i just got to be on the phone with them i'll figure it out double check to make sure that's all right all right this is mark do you think if you make the phone number private, people will start picking up or no? What should my name be? What should my accent be? Hey, it's Mark.

Hey, it's Mark. Talking about taking a chainsaw. Hey, what's up? It's Mark. Hey, what's up? Wait, who's this? It's Mark. Mark who? Mark Stevens. Oh, you don't remember.

No, I don't. It's Bella Brewster, right? Yeah. What's good? Is it JT? oh this is cody isn't this is cody's mark's brother how'd you know it was me so fast damn it yeah you sussed that out quickly how'd you know it was me so fast? Damn it.

Yeah, you sussed that out quickly. How'd you know that was me so fast? Fuck. All right, we'll get you next time. Godspeed. Yeah, because, by the way, anyway, it doesn't matter. Wait, can I ask you a question? Yeah.

She's on the phone. Okay, so, I bought a ticket to go see Christopher Stefano at the Bray-Aid prop. Yes. I don't want to explain more. You trying to offload him? No, like, they won't let you return tickets, will they? I don't know. I think they do. like, they won't let you return tickets, will they? I don't know.

I think they do. Yeah. Yeah, they let you return tickets. It's non-refundable, but let me call them and see if I can do that. All right, sounds good. No, listen to me. There's a story behind it. We're on the podcast.

Shut your fucking mouth. As I said, this is Mark. as i said this mark that's why we flagged it we got your back i know thanks guys uh love you bella later brother That's why we flagged it. We got your back. I know. Thanks, guys. Love you, Bella. Later, brother. I love you guys so much. What number? Okay.

Call me back later. Bye. That was nice. Good prank. Yeah, we got it. Somebody picked up, which is nice. Yeah. How'd she?

That was crazy. I think we got to call businesses. I think that's what we got to do. Yeah, you want to call one? Yeah, what should the angle be? Maybe I'm calling a costume shop? Now, can you call businesses in California and record it? We do it on another podcast I record. Oh, you do?

Yeah, I think it's's you have to get their consent afterwards um well i i think technically you do okay if i call hollywood toys and costumes what could the angle be um hollywood toys and costumes say um or is there another kind of store do I think the funniest thing to do is just talk to them like they're a normal person okay and just see how long you can get them to do that just ask them about their day and all right that's what we do on that other podcast really yeah that's what we do on that other podcast really? yeah just get them talking be on the line for like 25 minutes

hey who am I speaking with? who am I speaking with? T-Bone who? T-Bone okay are you looking for someone? I just wanted to say what's up how's your day going?

okay who is this? T-Bone. T-Bone? His name is T-Bone, sir. Okay, um... And I'm Ribba. Yeah, um... We're just out here walking on Hollywood Boulevard,

and we were just like, we just wanted to talk to someone. How are you doing? Damn. This is probably the worst prank call in history. Guys, come for the load talk stay for the pranks where are you gonna get this elsewhere

may I call Erewhon I want some liver now say yeah you can tell them that you found out the blueberries weren't actually organic yeah

and you're dying for customer service press 2 for the cafe press 3 for catering press 4 this has also killed the prank call industry phone trees they just cut all that out

it's hard to get to them hey this is Gage I came in for some blueberries about two hours ago and they're not organic um the which blueberries did you get? The ones in the shelf. And I can taste pesticides.

I have a pretty refined palate and I definitely taste pesticides. They're not organic. Gotcha. I'll have to transfer you to a manager. Hang on one moment. Thank you. As far as I know, we only won't

shelve anything which isn't organic. So yeah, let me double check with the produce department. I mean, honestly, you might have a mole in there from Monsanto. I'm sorry? You might have a mole in there from Monsanto. I hope not. Hang on one moment.

What a legend. What a drooper to roll with it no laughing no laughing you're doing great you're doing good you're doing good hang in there you can visit any of our seven southern california locations or you can shop online at air one market.com when you shop online choose between You know what? We got to call back this original dude and be like, yo, bro. No manager. There's no manager. You fucking... You didn't take our Monsanto thing serious

and now there's no manager. Gotta call him back. That's not what you call him though. Be like, I'm Gage's buddy. I tasted that shit too it's customer service i'm pissed hey what's up man dude my buddy gage just called because like he got some blueberries from you guys that were supposed to be organic and like they're 100% like not organic. And Gage knows that kind of thing. He has like a very sophisticated palate. the manager and i don't even know if the manager's real like it went nowhere and i'm like so frustrated

and like i'm so hurt that you guys would like like say they were organic because i i really trust you guys. Hey, this is Gage here. Look, I hear you and I, you know, I want to trust you, but I'm so inflamed right now by pesticides. I don't even know what to do with myself. And like, you know, I was just telling the other to do with myself and like you know i was just telling the other guy i was like you know monsanto they have ways of getting in there and just sort of mucking things up and i'm super inflamed right now i can feel it in my knees and my joints and

i ate a shit ton of pesticide aside is the first guy hey man I'm sorry I got so emotional is it Like, you know, false advertisement. It's good. It is false advertisement. I hate it when somebody tells me something that's not true. And they actually tell me the product despite what it's supposed to be. Dude, you're really good at your job, man. You rip at your job. You're a good guy. You're a good dude. Yeah.

I'm trying to be my... Thanks for being patient with this. No, yeah, don't worry. Yeah, throw on the manager. Yeah, let me give him that heat. You know, I felt bad. I felt bad too. I'm so sorry. I'm also advertising.

Poor guy. Hello. Yeah, so I checked with the manager. Went and double checked everything on the shelf. And all of them come from an organic supplier. Are you sure though? Have you checked with the supplier? Are they reputable?

Yeah, they're the same people we've been carrying from all along. Are they reputable? I guess I... I guess I gotta trust ya. I gotta trust ya, huh? No, I gotta talk to you No You help you with that no you um well beyond at this point i'm starting to think that this is a prank call and i yeah you're right man i'm sorry now take a name and phone number all right cool roasted if they're like we know it was you i come back because it's my phone number they're like

is you connected your account do you have an account with arowan yeah oh oh you guys you guys are i mean you guys you guys go to arowan like every day don't you i'm pretty i was there earlier today yeah sweating bullets no more club rewards for you he was recording the phone number he said i know where you live chad damn it dude they might start prank phone calling you dude you might be on the other side dude damn dude kevin one to a thousand how high do you rank those prank phone calls a thousand sweet cool all right i don't think we have time for questions uh yeah should we just go to the segments but i would tell the stokers this the friend that you're upset at talk to them about talk to them about it that girl you want to ask out go ask her out that leave in town thing leave town move go somewhere else hell yeah kev do you have anything

to say to them be your best self all the time no i did i don't even i was trying to go with that and nothing nothing came to me get a cool hat oh yeah yeah hey go to you know they're not a i'm not a sponsor of this podcast but go to go to the hat store and uh get yourself a hat for sure yeah oh and watch uh watch the show yeah that'll actually solve all your problems yeah it really is a positive fun thing yeah if we're bringing the stoke to a global audience stoke all right chad who's your beef of the week my beef of the week is with joe morisi whoa he didn't i emailed him on the pod he didn't answer my email i asked him i was i asked him a question i was like are you gonna would you ever date a vegan and he didn't answer the email

and it just hurt me he just ignored you straight up he didn't even like respond no i'm not gonna answer no oh you like sent him in a question for his podcast yeah and he was scrolling through him he's like all right what else is good here what else uh yeah okay this is the last one so you think he ignored you he ignored it i was like what the fuck he could at least text you yeah i might text him about it but that's my beef dude i mean you know i'm a big fan of joe code and i want you know an answer because i do genuinely want to know if he did a vegan and if he did also if he did date a vegan and he was in love with her what would he say to get her to eat a philly cheesesteak i i don't i don't know why

he can't answer that question no how many questions do you think he's getting a couple thousand a week a couple thousand are you calling him call me earlier yeah i love my call never calls me you hate phone calls i don't think i've ever complained about so i never call him bro you never call do you want me to call nah but it'd be nice if you did please leave your message dude i got a beef of the week nobody answers their fucking phone anymore what kind of world do we live in when you know not to be not to be a boomer, but when I was growing up,

the phone rang, it was exciting. You ran over there, you picked it up. And you know, cell phones are great, but we've lost something. Yeah. There's too many prank calls. And everyone's like worried. Yeah, that's true.

We were just being assholes for like 30 minutes. But even that's part of life. Dude, do you remember when you were getting your prank call like 411 or like 911? You didn't realize they like had your phone number you know they'd always call your house back you're like hey is it jimmy eat my butt hang up yeah we got him and then they call back your mom would be like did you call 411 did the funny thing too the funny thing about that arowan calls they probably get calls like that all the time. Oh, no, they took it really serious.

Yeah, like our blueberry disappointment. Yeah. It didn't seem foreign to them. No. Yeah. Yeah, my beef of the week is people pick up your phone, even if it's a random number, even if it's a telemarketer, pick it up. Just connect. Oh, my beef of the week?

Yeah. oh my beef of the week yeah my beef of the week is the group of uh wild teenagers that ruined top gun oh yeah dude this is a huge beef so i you know i went to see top gun over the weekend top gun maverick top gun maverick everybody's saying it's great we had our mom come over to take care of the child we went to the movie by the way it's this new uh movie theater uh it's a regal and they put it's in noho leather we went there we were pleasantly surprised leather seats they reclined back and everything and there was just a few old people in the theater thought everything's good this group of like nine uh just teenagers come they sit directly behind us in the row uh behind us and they're put their feet up chewing popcorn and just just talking just immediately start talking when the credits are or the the

previews are rolling so okay this is fine then the movie starts and they're just taught like they're in their living room then there's just one guy one of the friends you know the friend who's just just just feeding there's a comment on everything and then i'm like you know top gun in in the beginning it's just planes right it's just it's really loud i'm okay well you know even if they're talking i'm not gonna be able to hear him i could hear them the whole time and you could just i was every, every, he was commenting on nothing. Like he would go from one comment to the next. Nothing happened in the movie.

It's like the jet went from here to here and he has something to say about it. And it hurts me to say this, but the group was a group of Middle Eastern teenagers. So I felt a sort of, you know, you need to represent yourself uh in this in this theater so i i thought you know everybody some people were getting mad so i said okay i'll take care of this and i turned around and i asked them politely i said can you guys just not talk and they're okay And then they just kept talking. It never lasts. So five minutes into the movie, when he's going to Mach 10, you know that part?

He's getting to Mach 10, right? So awesome. He's getting to Mach 10. They're still talking. I turned around. I go, guys, could you just keep it down? And then one of them looked at me and he said, we'll try. Like a sarcastic, we'll try.

He said, we'll try? He said, we'll try. That little motherfucker, dude. And then, yeah. That piece of shit, dude. Yeah. And they just kept talking. And then I had to, I got to a sort of a crossroads.

I had to make a decision. If I stayed in there any longer, I was going to do something I regretted and fight a group of teenagers. And that could only result in me going to jail or me getting my ass kicked by a group of teenagers and going to jail. There's a third thing. What? You fucked those kids up

and you put them on a better trajectory for the rest of their life. Well, they did need a beating. But I still feel like I would be either in jail or on World Star Hip Hop or something. We got a show coming out in a couple weeks. I think it's okay to punch a 16-year-old.

Yeah. When I was 16, adults punched me. Well, they needed... This isn't a kid... Somebody needed to... They... They were... I'm still bottled up.

They ruined Top Gun 2. Yeah, so I just walked out. Which is a cardinal sin. And... They deserve to get their asses beat. Although, it would be pretty funny if there's a video of you getting your ass kicked i figured maybe one of their parents is a ufc fighter to be honest like maybe i could i i there's like nine of them yeah i mean nine 16 year olds i find myself a fighter they'd fuck you up i i'm I'm sure if they can't find a way to kick my ass,

I don't know. No, you kill the leader first. You go for the leader first. The talker. The rest fall. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, if I turn around and start fighting one,

maybe they wouldn't. Were they jack 16-year-olds? No, no. They were just normal. They didn't look like they had been touched by violence before they look like they could have some mma um training yeah that part of town you got persian armenian those kids those dudes love to grapple i grapple you know they grapple you know so i i don't know i'm not you know i i have good self-control so So I just stood up. I walked out and I told on them to the manager.

Did the world try? These kids have no respect. Yeah. You know what? He was with the girls, so he was a little more on his heels. But I was in a movie searching. And he wouldn't shut up. And I turned to him and I finally said, shut the fuck up or I'll eat your dick.

And I think the threat of sexual violence in a public space it didn't keep him quiet but he was quiet for like 20 minutes so i should have just yelled that out yeah and then dude actually a lady three seats down in the row i say i'll eat your dick and i turn back i started laughing like and then this lady just goes give me a thumbs up i wish i would have had that advice but um yeah i only got to the part where he shows up in another town and he's in like a diner or something. Oh, man, you got to go back. But my beef is with theater. Because I went out and I tattled on these kids.

Nice. But I didn't. I didn't. I just was done. I can't watch the movie. So I said, here's the deal. I said, I want my tickets back. You know, obviously for the trouble. But I said, and's the deal. I said, I want my tickets back, you know, obviously for the trouble.

But I said, and give us a couple extra for the hassle. Okay. Give us our, we went all the way here. We had to get our mom to take care of just to do all this. Give me my tickets back. So give me my refund. Give daddy two extra for the hassle they wouldn't do it and then they emailed me and they said how was your experience at this movie i said zero nice and then they sent me a form email they sent me a form email hey oh we're sorry and we'll they keep saying we'll take that into consideration your thing take one into consideration just go in the theater and and do something they're running amok in the theater i i'm with you so it's bullshit so that's my beef i'm yawning because the mushrooms make me yawn a lot yeah so that's my beef isn't that a weird side effect that's a horrible beef yeah but i i don't know

when i'm gonna see the movie. I guess I have to wait for it. Did it ruin the whole movie for you? Well, I only got 10 minutes into it. Then I'm done. I'll go with you. I'll go see it again. Yeah.

Yeah. Let's go IMAX. Well, we can't go back to this place. Well, now you got some bros with you too. Those same 16 year olds are there. Oh, yeah. I mean. I'll mangina them. I actually just got up and left and stephanie stayed in there i'll stay hungry

i'll just go there i'll just stand in front of them block their via man gina yeah and then after five minutes it's like chinese water torture can i say that yeah yeah it's the government it's not the people yeah i don't fucking know man i don't know what i can say you scare him in the show's coming out in a month well you know yeah yeah chad who's your babe of the week my babe of the week is the pac-man frog so there's my new favorite um youtube channel is a frog time frog time is literally just a youtube channel devoted to uh watching frogs the african bullfrog the pac-man frog eat things um it's very very entertaining this one the pac-man frog eats a wasp is he gonna be able to eat that wasp that's on his back uh yeah how so his name is poco head

he's an african bullfrog so the frog it was and what i love about it too is they they play like this sort of like cartoonish music sort of like you're in like super mario you know and the frog is just there just you know it's with its like whole, just, you know, with its, like, whole body, like, expanding, you know, just... It's just standing there, just... And after about five minutes, this wasp is just flying around. And it just goes, boom! Just swallows it. I was like, what in existence, dude?

I don't know. When I saw, like, the sea turtle and then these frogs and stuff, they just fucking... They just hang. The casualness of the existence these frogs and stuff they just fucking they just hang the casualness yeah and they just eat shit then the rest of the time they're just sitting there you know but then they just dominate and uh they stay chill if you have a time if you have time check out frog time because i was really enjoying it kevo um this is my bad because i knew these questions were gonna i don't have that excuse so i have to think of the babe of the week um well we didn't tell you we're coming on till or we didn't we didn't plan this till late what about your wee babe huh your wee babe

your wee babe harrison fart oh yeah you have my baby okay oh yeah your daddy uh actually yeah he he um he pissed on his face and it got in his eyes so that was pretty cool that's awesome yeah he's done that a few times now he has a does he cry uh he cries only when he's hungry and when he shits so many pisses in his face he doesn't cry no he didn't it looked like he was crying because there was piss coming out of his eye and he also shit on stephanie and he hasn't shit on me yet and i mean by shit like just projectile shit well it just went all over her shirt well he hasn't done that to daddy yet and uh he does rip ass like all night i was there when he ripped ass oh yeah yeah yeah all night he's ripping ass pretty cool it is cool so yeah he's the baby of

the week thank you for that yeah do my baby the week I was at the park today working out I was doing this watch called one-armed bandit and this dude just walked by after I did a set of overhead lunges and he went good work man and i literally turned over and i went thanks dude so nice that's awesome it was really sweet dude literally took my day you know i was kind of blue this morning yeah we uh we put out a video and a lot of people were upset by it and it's funny like that stuff affects me yeah like you know like people think like Yeah. People think comedians were edgy and it doesn't affect it. It's like, no, I feel it. Yeah.

And I was reading all the comments. I was like, oh, fuck, man. And then people are arguing in the comments. That's the worst. Yeah. Because then you got some dude defending you who's like a horse's ass. And he's like, shut up. You just don't have a sense of humor.

You're a fucking bitch or something like that. And you're like, bro, you don't have a sense of humor you're a fucking bitch or something like that and you're like bro you don't have to do that and then but then that guy told me that i was doing good workout today and i was like nice all right the next one yep uh all right my legend is um will smith whoa i think it's time to forgive him i think i i think uh i watched independence day and i was like i like him he's the best he's the best i still want will smith movies what are we doing i still want that inner he hasn't done like a public like he wrote on his instagram yeah i want to see him like on an interview on like oprah or some shit yeah i yeah i was literally

i was i was watching like explaining it yeah i was watching independence day and i was like it is time he's at his best there yeah no award shows just you know is wrong what he did but uh i still want will smith movies is what i'm trying to say. His brain broke. He lost it. Yeah, yeah. He lost it. He's clearly going through a lot. Yeah.

You know, what do you think would Will Smith have done if he was in my position at the top gun screening? Right. Would he have slapped one of those kids? Probably. You know, I was thinking the one good thing about movie theater seating is that they're all in a row, like in a line. So you could just. Yeah. They're pretty sweet.

And they say welcome to Earth. Yeah. Who's your legend of the week? My legend of the week? All right. Hold on one sec. Joe. Joe. Yeah, what's up?

Hey, you're on the pod. Kevin's here. Oh, nice. What's up? Hey, I'll tell you what's up, Joe. You didn't answer my email on your latest episode Joe code how many emails does he get 12 it was probably stupid i don't answer the stupid ones hey it was the one from his email that's the one from my email that's not nice of you to say i was i wanted to know if you'd ever date a

vegan and if you were really in love with a vegan how what you'd say to get her to eat a philly mistake oh oh yeah oh that well that was like a comment wasn't it no youtube or something oh no i can't i can't i remember seeing that that was a good email i'll get to it now i feel bad you don't know no you should get to it no you don't have to get to it no because i remember i thought you were talking about like a prank email that you did no i'm i'm not doing prank emails. He should do a better job of reading the emails. No, because Chad likes to do some hijinks, so I thought that's what he was talking about. Oh, no, no.

But it's all good, Joe. I love you. Dude, we pranked phone call to Errol1. We got him. No, I thought you were yeah sorry no i didn't like that email i remember reading well he didn't like it enough to read it on the pod do you want to save the answer for the potter do you want to tell us now since we're on if you could date a vegan whatever you want could you date a vegan yeah sure i don't think you actually could dude

it's a good question it's a great answer it's a great question okay yeah but what if it's good answer okay yeah that's good all right love you buddy yeah yeah yeah come on i love you joe i'm busy anyway i gotta go what are you doing stroking himself not too much really hey John love you love you dude alright yeah I love you guys

Kevin John JT Chad you guys have fun crush it man alright thanks brother

alright bye great guy what a perfect answer it's perfect i mean it would have been good on his podcast he just missed out on content for his podcast gave it to you guys yeah she's hot enough i think joe's gonna be my legend of the week that's my legend did you get one kev um yeah my legend. Did you get one, Kev? Yeah, my legend of the week is going to be Stephanie if she doesn't fuck up the tri-tip. I've instructed her to.

My stomach just growled and all this food talking. I gave her, I accidentally texted Chad the instructions to cook the tri-tip earlier. But it better be ready when daddy comes home. Nice. I got the kid at home.

Daddy's out. Okay. Daddy's out. Having fun. Not having, daddy's working right now. The lady's at home taking care of the kids.

And cooking. All right. Dude, should we do a quote of the week? I'll do Braveheart. go back to the well on that one a lot when he's like you're only doing this because you think she's watching you because i know she's watching me and your father's watching you too smack cracks him for bringing up his dad but then they hug it out. It's nice. Good scene.

Can I make one up again? Yeah. Okay. Always write things down. There are men in this world who drop loads, but there are men in this world who drop loads and write it down in their load journal. And those are the men who are prepared for life. Love it.

I think that's a good place to end. That was really inspiring. Yeah, that was powerful. August 23rd, guys. Kevin's in the show. Kevin's in the show, the schmole. Dude, you know what's interesting? The way you were talking about raising your kid,

you don't want him to be a schmole to society i thought that was really that that was that was what popped up in my head well schmole's depending on your definition of a schmole doesn't really reach out into society but it could but yeah you're never a schmold of society you really care about society society you abide by the rules i buy i don't i don't talk during the movies i like to go to the movies alone yeah why do you need to talk to somebody during a movie i talk during pawn stars when i'm watching pawn, but we're not watching Pawn Stars in the movie theater. That's the thing you talk, because you talk about whether it's a good deal

or not. Hell yeah. Alright. Later, Stokers. What's your dream? Going deep Trying to change it