Going Deep with Chad and JT - EP 263 - Critiquing Chris Rock with Joe List

Episode Date: November 2, 2022

What up stokers! This week we talk to, Joe List, one of the funniest comedians around. It was a real treat. Check out his new movie, 4th of July, and his stand up special on YouTube, This Years Material.    For tour dates, check out www.chadandjt.com   Get 20% Off and Free Shipping with the code [GODEEP] at Manscaped.com.   Download the PrizePicks app or go to PrizePicks.com to sign up and play daily fantasy sports! First time users can receive a 100% instant deposit match up to $100 dollars with promo code GODEEP.  If you deposit $100, PrizePicks will give you $100. If you deposit $50, PrizePicks will give you $50

The thing that was hilarious was I texted being like, I'm so sorry. I'm ashamed. And they wrote back like, oh, dude, we all get out of control sometimes. It was fun. Crazy night. That was fun. And I was like, oh, geez, these girls are wild. And then I like flew across the country, airplane mode, whatever.

And what I didn't realize is they had gone to work. So this happened after they had left for work, which is the most insane part of the story. It's like I was shitting in a shoe during the daytime. It must have been like 9 o'clock in the morning. It was a nice day. Yeah, so they came home to this. And we're like, what? And the text was like, we had no idea how bad this was.

This is crazy. Oh, my God. And I was like, that makes more sense. I was like, this is a better reaction what's up dudes we got a great episode with joe list coming up for you it's a really fun list and he's a great guy super funny you guys are gonna love it but first before we get started i gotta do the fucking whatever the fucks so we got a tour coming up we're coming to a town near you boston new york denver chicago chicago sold out but nashville and then atlanta and salt lake city tickets are going

fast we got late show in boston and uh the first show sold out so those tickets are going to go fast so get on it now chat and jt.com same with new york we got one show i don't think they'll have a late show because it's grammar c theater so get on that now chat and jt.com we're also brought to you by the legends at manscape manscape thank you so much for keeping our trims pubed for looking after our hogs for making sure that our dinks are looking fresh and clean because do you know no no no no no no michael myers is going to cut off your dink unless you manscape it. So make sure you do that with the promo code GO DEEP. Or they're seriously going to cut off your dink, dude. And you do not want that to happen because he's a guy with a hockey mask and a big-ass knife.

So get 20% off plus free shipping with the code GO DEEP at manscape.com. And say trick-or-treat to your beautiful new halloweeny with manscape all right let's start the show like sometimes i'll just tweet and i'll just write like this tweet is gonna really help me right just so i have something somebody's looking at something like there's numbers growing but yeah it's it's hard i've always tried to approach it of like i will post something when i have something but now it feels more like i have to post something right which is not great for art obviously yeah you gotta so i i remember i used to do like daily like stories on instagram and um i just burnt out so quickly from that after like a year or two i was like not daily it would be like every other day but it was just like

the ideas and stuff i was like i don't think i have any other it was like a whole like self-improvement thing i'm like i don't think i have any ideas left yeah it's like i'm like i don't have that much to say it's just like hours and hours of podcasts and stand up or whatever else and you're like yeah i'm just out of right i got nothing i need something to happen let me go walk around until something happens i try to like generate opinions and stuff i'm like let me like watch this news clip. Yeah, and then you say something, and then people are like, are you crazy? That guy's a Nazi. And you're like, shit, I didn't do the full research.

I have a hangover after every podcast we do, because I'll drive home, like a vulnerability hangover, and I'll be like, what the fuck did I just say? I'm like, I talked about my ex-girlfriend. I was kind of rude. I didn't say her name, but if she listens, she'll know it's her. And then I'll be like, and then I talked about like pakistan like i don't know anything about pakistan but it's like if someone lobs a question at you you feel like your number

one job is to be interesting so no i have that feeling all the time and i was just talking about this earlier like i remember i did i've done rogan a couple times and the first time i did it like i was staying in sherman oaks out here in l. la and i was i remember just like walking up the sidewalk feeling like jelly like i'm like i feel like i was on like heroin because it's like a three-hour show and i'm like what and you can't even possibly remember all the things you talked about i remember just feeling like like i was in like underwater being like that was like crazy right and you have to be on for all of those three hours like you're you're like were you were you relaxed or was your body hyped no i was like jacked up and like you know and and joe's kind of

intense i mean he's so sweet and thoughtful but he's also like a big guy and he's and he's making eye contact with you so i'm like i'm just trying to listen and think of something and then i'm like i got like commenters in my head yeah same time you're like i'm supposed to have lunch in an hour i don't know it's just too much like yeah i don't know because there's always those two voices too right there's like the voice you're speaking with and there's like the director voice in the back that's like all right i'm talking about this now maybe i'll segue into this and then maybe i should be authentic here and then jokey here and then it's hard sometimes to uh when you're running both of those to just i don't be yourself at all too yeah absolutely and then you're like even in this moment i was like oh i

could i that reminds me of this thing and it's already passed so i'm like oh shit i don't remember it's gonna be something we need a clip give us that clip it is it's like your head is just spinning and trying to listen and come up with something clever to say and then sometimes you're just like yeah and then people are like that sucked yeah you've you just folded i'm like wow i mean i couldn't i don't know i wish that was a more suitable answer for podcasting where i could just be like yeah for sure because in a regular hang you would do. You can just check out for an hour and be like, I'll just be a bystander for a while and see how it goes.

Yeah, you look like a maniac when you're like this. I have nothing to say about that. I never had so much pressure to have opinions because I have older brothers and they always felt smarter than me. Yeah. So they always had the opinions and they're like, what do you think?

I'm like, whatever he said. You know, it's like they were always a little bit smarter than me, so I would just sort of sit back and listen, you know what I mean? And now it's like, I'm like, what's your opinion on that? That's why I liked your bit in your latest special about the masks and stuff. Oh, yeah. Like, whatever appeases that group. No, I literally still feel that way. I've done this on airplanes where I'm sitting next to somebody and they're watching CNN.

So I put on CNN. I'm like, yeah. And then this guy has Fox News on. And so I'll switch over just to be like, I watch it all. I'm not, I don't hate you or you. I'm like, hey guys, I'm not I'm not I don't hate you or you I'm like both yeah like hey guys I'm cool but I think like that actually that's what I was gonna say a minute ago is like when you're I know me as a kid as like

a child like going into kindergarten the first day like crying being like I I can't go in here I don't know these people I'm nothing so it's like you get some success and people like want to hear oh what's he have to say about this you're like we're like his comedy or his thing but you're like i'm an idiot i've never been yeah a guy that's like here's how it is folks i'm just like i don't know totally i'm very like uh i always say i'm very susceptible to being in a cult you know because people just from either side can convince me i'm like that's a good point that's a good point too you know so whenever people are like what do you what's your hard stance on things i'm like

dude i i both ways i don't fucking know i like it you know what i mean which i do think is there's wisdom in like that buddhist talk about the middle path like yeah you should be somewhere in the middle on most especially now as we're so yeah i think yeah it's like i see both sides so i don't i just had um i always use it as an example it was like years ago now but they were talking about horses and carriages in new york and i read this whole argument about like how inhumane it is and the horses are treated like and they live on top of each other and then it causes this horrible smell and the guys hit them and they don't make enough money and like i was like we gotta get rid this is like crazy and then i read this other article it was like what this is like a staple of new york it's old-fashioned people get

it's like a huge tourist trap like our attraction like where what else would these guys do a lot of these guys are immigrants this is all i've ever done you put them out of work and then you're just like all right i don't and it's i don't know yeah it's cynical too but like if they get rid of the horses they're gonna find some kind of replacement for that same sort of tourist experience and whatever that is in like 30 years that'll have as many negative externalities as whatever the horses are doing now not that that means don't shut down the horses but i'm like the solution is going to be bad no matter what yeah i always picture them being like i like i like vote and rally to get rid of them they're like all right well we got to get these horses are useless now

they're just like shooting in the face you're like what no no and they're using like i didn't realize that they're using humans to pull the carriages yeah yeah people um they're like this is better this guy agreed to it yeah yeah with with like any issue you can there's always like someone will have a good argument for either side i'm like almost yeah so well it's tough too it's like comedians um because the best comedians are so good at it like weighing in on the big issues and not adding like insight but most comedians i know should not be weighing in on those things but we're all aspiring to that so we have to try i guess yeah there's definitely a lot of people that have yeah they're just like shouting and i'm like i don't think you read enough yeah that doesn't sound right i don't think yeah that's your way off on this have you ever like had like you i've had

like a like kind of an idea that was like counter to whatever like the progressive prevailing idea was and i would do it at like a show and everyone who agreed with me kind of looked scary and mean and i was like oh maybe i shouldn't do that bit because like everyone who's agreeing with me doesn't look like someone i want on my side yeah yeah or they like they tweet at you and they're like that was awesome and it's just them with like a machine gun pointing at the camera and they have like you know an army helmet and like a swastika on their forehead and you're like oh i don't know i gotta change this bit yeah it's no good i've been doing a bit about because i grew up kind of or i grew up affluent you know and i'll talk about it on stage and when i first did it i did it because i thought it was like risky and i thought it would you know maybe alienate people but i could win them over at

the end which seemed fun for me yeah but now i'll have kids come up to me after shows and like hey man i'm a rich kid and i really appreciate that you said that i'm like i didn't do it for you i'm like get away from me right right yeah you're like oh that's not what i was going for but making them feel better about themselves yeah it's funny when people drop like because my favorite thing is just to be like goofy and fun or whatever and people draw like political sort of like oh the meaning behind that it's like oh you're you're like a shill for like big seatbelt or whatever and i'm like what yeah no that's that's the best is when people start like breaking down what you were talking about i've had people like say something a bit a bit and they're like i love that you're talking about like the role that men are playing in the life or something

and i'm like yeah i don't know that was like a funny thing that happened while i was having sex with my wife there's no like greater thought into that yeah conspiratorial thinking is boosted right now everyone's doing it yeah no somebody that you know i made this movie and a few people wrote like essay being like this is actually about this thing and i'm like nope i'm like have fun with that yeah no no i was there it was not about any of that yeah so so how so your movie fourth of July came out in, it was July 4th? Did it come out on July 4th? It came out July 1st. July 1st.

Yeah. And how'd that come about? Were you writing the script or did you team up with Louis beforehand? Like, how did that? No, so I wrote, Louis and I are buddies and, you know, we've been on the road together for years, whatever. And we're always been like movie nerd guys and um we'd always talk about stuff and then i was kind of writing a movie on my own and then i like gave it to him like hey give me notes and we went through the whole thing and he was like this is no good this is great whatever and then i kind of was like why don't we make it we could make it you could you could

direct we could shoot a thing it'd be great yeah and he was like yeah we will see and it kind of just uh like didn't happen work out and then um some time passed and then he called me and was like kind of pitching a movie idea he had and i wasn't into i tried to be honest i was like i don't know it doesn't sound like anything i don't know it's fine whatever that's tough to do yeah it was just like you know but you you're like well that's what i'm not helping if i'm like this yeah do it i just got i wasn't like this is bad i just kind of was like i don't know if that's gonna that's it was like a musical and i was like just getting like the music is gonna be hard i just was like i don't know was it built around a band it was built around uh bad company he wanted to do mama mia but the band Bad Company. I know a couple of their songs.

Feel Like Making Love. And then Bad. They have an album song and band name, Bad Company. I remember that cracked me up when I first heard it. I was like, Bad Company. I'm like, they have a song with their own band name in it? It felt a little too easy. And then they had another one.

Don't you know that you are a shooting star now that one so they were pretty big but he like you know was going through and he's like you know the guy will be like in the shower singing and it's like it just sounded not like something that was gonna get made so i was like okay i don't know and then um he was like well i want to do something and then we started talking we just started and it ended up being like a three-hour phone conversation. By the end of it, we kind of had like some formation of it, and then we just kept working it out.

Is it kind of autobiographical? Yeah, it's like extremely autobiographical. Yeah, I love the movie. I related so much to the, I don't know if I want to get into it, but the giveaway plot, but the sponsor, sponsee talk, because I've dabbled in AA. Sure, yeah.

When I was younger, there was one I did it for like, I was like 24, did it for like a couple years. And then I had a sponsor, and then he was like, it's time for you to get a sponsee. And I was like, well, that's my cue. It is. It's hard. Yeah, you you're definitely like i don't know about that yeah i was like 24 i'm like what am i gonna i don't even know yeah no it's yeah it's uh it's definitely a hard part of it and we tried to yeah we tried to um put that in there and it's been nice because a lot of people in recovery have reached out and been like you really nailed this Which was I meant a lot to me because I wanted it to be yeah

It's so often you see like a meetings portrayed in movies and it's just like somebody crying and everyone's like, oh whatever So we tried to get those other details where you're like, I don't want to do that. That's right Yeah, you didn't yeah, you didn't overdo it with like the profoundness of it. Yeah, cuz yeah, there's other movies So he's the saving grace in the movie, right? It's like they turn in by the end and that's like you're like oh okay they're okay they made it to a yeah it was fun it was also like again like i don't want to give away too much if people haven't seen it you can go get it fourth of july movie.com or louisck.com it's harder to navigate if you don't go directly to it i guess but um a bunch of people after the movie were like we thought for sure he was gonna

relapse we thought that was gonna be I was like oh we never should like considered that because it was autobiographical yeah I mean I realized plenty years ago but that's a whole other thing but but yeah we tried to get that right and I'm glad people identify with it no totally yeah it's sort of like a for me like being in a is i was like no i'm in here for selfish reasons i don't want to start being selfless like lead meetings and like mentor some kid like because i guess for me too i was sort of like which i think a lot of people have is like i was like i don't even know if i deserve to be here because i was so young and like i feel like that's a common thing of like i haven't like earned it a little bit yeah i think there's a lot of people that have that everywhere in every aspect of life but

yes yeah that also yeah that also you know can kill somebody because like i don't know i don't think i'm an addict and then they're like let me go back out there and see really right and get some more wreck a car yeah and die yeah like all right i've earned it which i'm saying as i like laugh i'm sorry very serious but uh well there is that too like i've been to recovery meetings but for uh like sex stuff and like the the coolest guy it's always the coolest people are always the people who are working their recovery the hardest but also who have like the most like uh incredible backstory yeah like when someone talks in the meeting, they're like, I was doing this in 78.

You're like, this fucking guy rips, man. I want to get close to this dude. Yeah, it's hard. There's definitely that. We were like, that sounds pretty cool. I get that all the time. People being like, I wish I could have drank with you. And I'm like, well, it wasn't great.

Like, I'm here now. I shit on the floor. Like, it was a bummer. I remember that story from your podcast. Yeah, yeah. I'm like, yeah, I would, like, jump on people's windshields until they shattered it was like it was not always great yeah do your fans ever find it hard to like who didn't because i i only started listening to you once you were sober so i've never seen that side of you is it ever hard

for them to like reconcile that that like when they hear you tell those stories is it hard for them to imagine that yeah i think i think some people it is it's weird i was just talking about i was hanging out with ari shafir is a good friend of mine but we've been friends for 10 years but we've always i've always been sober since i've known him so it's kind of weird but i think once you get to know me you can see that i still got that some problems yeah i see that energy in you be a little nutty yeah and then a big thing you said helped you was you got into i'm gonna no i'm gonna go for the name it's tick knock han yeah yeah tick not han yeah and so what's what is that it's like mindfulness right Yeah. And then a big thing he said helped you was you got into... I'm gonna... No, I'm gonna go for the name. It's Thich Nhat Hanh. Yeah, yeah. Thich Nhat Hanh. Yeah.

And so, what is that? It's like mindfulness, right? Yeah, yeah. He's like, he's just died this year. Oh, really? I'm sorry. Last year. I can't remember. Yeah, it was not that long ago. But yeah, he was like a Vietnamese Buddhist monk. And he was like, old school, like like martin luther king nominated him for the nobel peace prize he's been around forever and he just wrote 300 books or some crazy shit not that many but um yeah that's i got kind of introduced to like mindfulness and meditation through him which really really helped me a lot and how do you practice that um i would recommend the books

but it's definitely a lot of, you know, you don't want to be the one responsible for laying it out. Yeah. I feel weird, like getting into like, here's how you do it, but it's, you know,

sort of sitting meditation. Maybe I just want to try it. A little gratitude, like focusing more on your breath and kind of getting out of your, your head and thoughts and recognizing thoughts as thoughts and recognize the impermanence of life that all these feelings and emotions, they are will pass and it's a lot of that these books are sort of repetitive or redundant which sounds like a negative word but they're all similar because it's a pretty like simple practice

that's hard it's like the program it's like a simple but difficult um so that got me like really into that thing of like oh there's possible to feel things and be in places of consciousness that don't involve drugs and alcohol but his books are great i mean like um there's a book called happiness and peace is every step there's literally like a hundred of them they used to bother me with artists well he's not an artist what would you what would you call him just a guru or like a spiritual leader he's just a monk like a buddhist monk spiritual leader i guess but like when i like all the directors i was into when i was young i had like a big fascination with this i wanted their movies not to have anything in common with each other like like i wanted each

director to be totally versatile. It took me a long time to realize, like, well, no, they're kind of telling the same, like a real great artist is kind of telling the same story over again, but just kind of like moving around a little bit in genre or something like that. Yeah, I always joke about this with my stand-up. I'm like, I really only talk about five things.

It's like, I think all my specials albums could have very similar track listings i'm like all right here's the travel stuff here's the anxiety stuff and here comes the sex stuff and then here's a few shit jokes for the kids and i'll see you later because it's like you only you know it's it's hard to uh yeah your brain is like coded to respond to just certain things and to produce certain things yeah exactly kind of like yeah you sort of think a lot of the same things over and over again. Yeah, a lot of my jokes will have like someone getting punched in them for some reason. I just always do that.

It's on your mind, man. But then I have like, I'll do a 10 minute set and like seven of the jokes have that in there. I'm like, I got to fucking break this up a little bit. I just have the thing where I'm like, I'm doing a bit and I'm like, I think I did this as a bit or something very similar like i think i have these words like in another special yeah and you're like all right well i guess i'll just keep doing it that's why like steve steve martin was smart right because he just did a

couple and then he was like all right i'm out i'm gonna do different things now yeah but he had a film career i don't know i'll have to just go get like go to college or something i don't have anything like it's easy to quit when you're like i'm a movie star now yeah did you like acting did you enjoy it i loved it yeah it was really fun it was really fun to like collaborate and everything it was great you're reacting off the other people was like amazing oh yeah you were super grounded in it oh appreciate that thank you appreciate that. Thank you. I also wanted to ask you about how long did it take you to get the gesticulations down for the piano? I thought it was bad. Some people have been like, do you really play piano? No, it was good.

I thought you did. It was good. Oh, thanks. I mean, I am a big music fan. I'm a music nut. So I have an idea of how. I'm always blown away by people that don't know how to mime mute like when people like will like pretend to be guitar and they're like

doing this but i'm like what or like drums they're like oh yeah like to me it's like i've seen people play piano i know you can shift a hand with your thumb like this and there's some bars and chords so i'm like i have did you watch tape of like i don't know Thelonious Monk or something and try to not too much a little bit I mean the guy we also recorded I guess recorded the music afterwards but I I guess I've just always loved piano and watched people like all instruments I've always been fascinated by musicians so I have like a sense of it but there's a couple moments where I felt like i just was like way off but we did a good job of kind of but it's funny because if you were in the uh room we were shooting it like i'm literally just banging on piano keys so it's like we're shooting the scene it's just like

yeah because i was just trying to make it look like something which i'm always annoyed by when i watch musicians i'm, I can move my hands the way he's moving his hands. Why doesn't it sound good? Yeah. And how do they understand where to move their hands? My brain never worked that way. It never understood like where to... Like, you know, some people can just intuitively like kind of understand the layout of the keyboard, like know which keys are going to go with which ones, like with minimal lessons. I studied for a couple of years and I never could, it never became like instinct for me.

I was just like memorization. No, I took mandolin lessons for like a year and a half, a few years ago. Why'd you do that? I always wanted to play something and my thought at the time was a mandolin is light and small

and I could bring it on the road and have something to do during the day. That's smart. But then I already have a suitcase and a backpack, so it was both my carry-on so I'm like I don't want to check a bag so I ended up never doing that once but I did take lessons and stuff and it was fun it is like a thing of like oh I could do this if I kept because it's like you my fingers do move in that way look at them moving. But then it's like your brain has to connect to hit this string at that time.

Yeah, I took guitar lessons in high school from this guy, The Moose. He's the man. Daryl Johnson? What's up? Daryl Johnson? Yeah, fullback from the Cowboys. Dude, maybe it was him.

But yeah, because I was so impatient with that. I just wanted to, the amount of, I just wanted to get to the point where I could just rip. And I don't think I had, with standup I had that where I'm like, oh, if I put in the time I can get,

but for some reason with the guitar I just wanted to get to like rock star status already. Well, that's how I always felt. That's why I like, I always wanted to be a musician. I always wanted to do a lot of, like be a filmmaker and a musician

and an athlete and all these things. But comedy, not that comedy is easy, but it seemed the easiest in that you could write something and go say it. Where music, it's like you had to put in years to learn how to play before you could even start to create. Exactly. Where stand-up, I can just be like, I took a shit and it was crazy. Woo-hoo! Yeah. And there's something about being on stage.

There's something about being on stage with a mic. It just felt more natural. It was like, oh, I can... Or maybe, you know what? Yeah, I think you're right because it's like your first time, sometimes it goes well. And you're like, oh, fuck. Like, I'm good. Then it's like you go through like years of open mic and you're like, oh, I'm not good.

But you have that initial thing of like, oh, it's possible you go through like years of open mic you're like oh I'm not good but you have that initial thing of like oh it's possible yeah whereas with guitar I was like I saw no future for myself that's how I felt I was just like there's no way I'm gonna learn a lot so much of my shortcomings are just lack of belief in myself there's no way there's no way I could do that it's too long yeah what movies were you guys kind of informed by when you made fourth of july um mike lee uh secrets and lies was like the first that i had just watched that and um when we started talking movie i was like i just watched secrets and lies and which again talking about making things easier that movie is like very much improvised they did i think all of his movies Yeah. And so that was another part of it. I was like, I don't think we have to write this.

I think we just have the bait because I'm just always trying to get out of work. And he improvises it through rehearsal, right? But like by the time they get to like action, they kind of got it. I think so. Yeah, yeah. He's a wild filmmaker.

Like I've only seen a couple of his movies. I haven't seen that one. I saw Naked. Yeah. And I didn't like that one. It was too dark for me at the time. Maybe I'd like it now. But at the time, I was annoyed with the guy. It is. It's so one. I saw Naked. Yeah. And I didn't like that one. It was too dark for me at the time. Maybe I'd like it now. But at the time, I was annoyed with the guy.

It is. It's so funny. I feel very similarly. Because Secrets and Lies is incredible. It's great. But yeah, I remember I watched Secrets and Lies before that. And I was like, I'm going to watch Naked. And it was similar.

It was very dark. And like, oh, this is tough. There was too much vanity in his existential brooding. I was like, this guy's just trying to sound smart and get laid. It doesn't feel earned for me. Yeah, I didn't hate it, but it's not. Secrets and Lies is emotional and beautiful, but that was a big part of it for sure.

We kind of thought of Robert Altman with it. There'd be a lot of people talking. Oh, that's cool. You have to kind of choose who you're listening to is kind of an idea. Oh, that's fun, yeah. The dialogue's just happening everywhere. Yeah, yeah. the first time you see that too it you're like oh someone actually got real life on camera yeah yeah for sure nick depaulo was great i i i didn't recognize him at first i i but i know his voice so well yeah i was like oh fuck nick depaulo but uh yeah he's so great as the uncle. He's great. He's so funny.

He's a really talented actor and comedian. And yeah, we were kind of trying to cast that. And they sent us a few guys, older Boston guys, because you've got to be old enough to be my uncle, you know, or an older uncle. And they kept sending us these guys who were good, but they were kind of like skinny and like, hey, you're a fucking beast. good but they were kind of like skinny and like hey

and there was this thing of like well i would just like smack that guy i'd be like hey fuck you it's got to be somebody who's like intimidating yeah and we're i was kind of thinking about it and i was like oh this is nick dipalo like a friend of mine he's like you know in his 60s and ripped and tattooed and yeah i was like oh oh, he'd be perfect. And he was just amazing. What's the joke you said Nick DiPaolo used to say when he took you on the road that made you laugh every time? It was something where he would, like, sip soda. Oh, I don't know.

Like, does Pepsi's flatter than, like... Oh, he'd say it's flatter than my sister's ass. And he did it every single time. He'd get a rum and Diet Coke or something like that. And he'd just go, oh, it's just flatter than my sister sister's ass and it could be like the bubbliest so he just likes he had a lot of great bits as we're boarding the plane i do this bit all the time i just took it from as he's like boarding the plane or like getting in the car he's like this is gonna be a good weekend he'd just drop his wallet on the floor as we're getting on the plane he's like

this is gonna be awesome just drop his whole wallet and i would just die laughing every time um no nick's nick's great he's hilarious what was it like um having louis as a director i sort of feel like with with bigger comics like that i'd for me i know you opened for him a lot and you're friends with him but i feel like i always feel like i'd be kind of uh i always feel like bigger comics i really respect like that i'd be like oh dude i i like i feel like I'd be kind of... I always feel like bigger comps I really respect like that. I'd be like, oh, dude, I feel like it'd be kind of hard to perform because I'd be so nervous. No, I mean, well, for me, it is hard because we got pretty close

and we wrote together and worked together, so it was a little bit easier. And I don't know, he was so great. I mean, he was very laid back. I don't know, he was so great. I mean, he was like, very laid back. I don't know if that's the right word. I think it is kind of hands off and just gentle. I don't know if that's the right word. But it just felt like, well, for me, at least, I mean, he was like this with everybody to some degree, and maybe give a little more direction. But for me, it's like, we wrote it together, it was autobiographical. So I had a good sense of what it is and in a way i'm playing myself so it wasn't all that um

challenging and he was pretty much like okay great yeah um there wasn't a lot of like direction from acting and he was just positive and like we'll get this done and he was really good at keeping it moving and stuff and um he was awesome there was not a moment in the entire production where like it felt tense or like oh my god or somebody this person's mad at that person or i can't believe he said that yeah it was just um it was great it was just really easy i wish i had like a story where i was like there was this one moment where like this thing but it was just it was just good it was really good yeah yeah it's kind of a general question but yeah i guess uh yeah i'm just so because i listen to all you guys like podcasts about it and i'm just so fascinated by the whole process and everything but no it was fun i want to

do it again it's like like anything else you're like anything that's fun you're like why don't we just do that again yeah that was great and you want to get the same group but you're like that doesn't make sense you can't just have the same exact people just run it back yeah just do it again second movie yeah make the same movie again i mean hannity did that right with funny games he just made the same exact movie twice oh really shot for shot oh i don't even i don't even know that story but that's insane yeah the movie's like hard to watch it's like very uh uh how would you describe it it's like mean-spirited yeah it's a very mean-spirited movie but he did one in germany and then he did one in canada and just made the exact same movie twice oh wow weird you

could do that yeah maybe we'll do it i'll up. Hey, do you want to lose that money again? Yeah. You could do Christmas. Yeah, we kept talking about that when we were shooting. Like, it's such a great hang that we were like, yeah, why don't we do Halloween? Well, I did have an idea at one point. I had an idea at one point of, like,

where the mother dies, like, a sequel or just an idea. And at one point, Louis was like, what if we make this in the movie and i was like no no we have what we want yeah but like the mother dies and i'm just kind of with this dad who doesn't talk much or show any emotion i'm kind of like you want to go to my work with me you know like i thought that was like a compelling idea of like you lose this mother who's like overbearing but at least does talk to some degree and then you're kind of like me and this guy are just sitting with each other was it a i mean i know it's you know art so it's distance from reality but were you like at all nervous about your mom watching the movie or anything like that i was nervous but like the

mother in the movie and i feel like i had to say this everywhere publicly but like the mother is extremely different like my my general family is the similarities and and the character nick dipalo plays like i don't have an uncle who's like we heightened all the family but like the mother particularly in the movie is like sociopathic my mother is like actually quite sweet and warm and supportive and like came to the movie she came to premiere and came to saw it in the theaters twice so i had to tell her like we're making this movie this is not how i see you or feel and it's different enough i don't think my mother was like i don't think my mother was like oh my god yeah they're doing me like my mother would never be like your child is dreams we don't need you my mother like comes to shows and stuff right that's great

do you think like method acting is like a real necessary thing or do you think that's kind of because i've kind of come along or what do you think it seems weird to me someone had the quote who had that quote that was like it's always they're always playing an asshole when they're method and i always wonder about this like sean penn i'm like did he do fast times method was he like walking around hit himself with a shoe and being like no way which would have been really fun on the set yeah i was like because that's kind of cool i'd be like great i would love to hang out with spicoli um but i don't know i mean it seems weird like i watched the jim carrey doc about man on the moon did you watch that and i was like me and my girlfriend were just talking about it's too much i'm like outrage this guy's like a bad person yeah when i think it

raises the burden of proof right where like if you're gonna act like that it better be the best performance of all time and like daniel day lewis kind of clears that bar like where you're like he's acting like a schmuck but holy shit like he really became like bill the butcher and then with man on the moon it's like a pretty good movie but it wasn't like, it didn't feel justified to me in the end. No, I always, sorry, now we're talking movies, my brain's just going everywhere. But I always think about Paul Dano had to go through that scene in There Will Be Blood where he's like shoving mud in his mouth and he's like dragging him. I'm like, that must have been a nightmare to shoot with like that guy not breaking character and not being like, I'm so sorry. I bet you Dano loved it.

He might have that kind of intensity. Yeah. He might have been like, keep it coming. What's his name in it? It was Paul. It was like Paul and... Daniel. Daniel Plainview, right?

Daniel Plainview and I think Paul is the twin, right? I forget his name. I think so. Yeah. Wait. Aaron. Not a huge fan of that movie. I'm his name. I think so. Yeah. Wait, Aaron. Not a huge fan of that movie. I'm not either.

I'm not either. Yeah, let's get into it. That's crazy. You know, it's too, it's too, I find it kind of one note that he's just this, and I guess that's the point, right? He's just this like a hard driving monster who only can like, he doesn't feel anything, but if he succeeds, he feels like he's at least making other people unhappy

or something. Yeah, I just love it. Sunday was Paul Dano's name. Paul Sunday and the other one. But anyway, so I'm trying to think of it, but Daniel Plainview was, what's his name? It was Daniel Day-Lewis. I love it.

I mean, visually, I think it's great. I think it was, what's his name? It was Daniel Day-Lewis. I love it. I mean, visually, I think it's great. I think it's hilarious. I think there's great laughs in it. There's great visuals in it, and it's just compelling, and I love it. I love everything about it. Paul and Eli. Paul and Eli, yes.

Eli Sunday. It was Paul. I love Daniel Day-Lewis in that. I drink your milkshake. Drink it up. It's one of the only impressions I can do. I'll try and do Dano. Cross the room.

No, I love it. I think it's like fantastic. When Dano, can you do Dano screaming in that scene? I don't know. Daniel! Daniel, no! I'd have to really get it up. But I love that.

You want Plan B to kill him once you hear him scream like that. You're like, kill this motherfucker. Like, he can't be squealing and squawking like that. I mean, that scene, it's a satisfying scene at the end when he makes him yell and he goes, that land's been had. You can sit down now. I mean, it's pretty great. I guess it just felt a bit random to me.

But I do love, I think Paul Thomas Anderson's a genius. I guess I miss, like, the early PTA where it was like, I don't know, it felt a bit more accessible. Yeah. No, I can see that. But going back to the method thing, it is funny. So the people that played my parents in the movie we made, they're like theater actors. And they were both fantastic. And I'm like thinking like the morning of, they're big scenes.

I'm trying to to give them space. They're just like, hey, what's up, Joe? How's it going? Theater actors to me are like real actors. They have to do the thing every night. They can't be like, oh, I'll take that back. They could just click it on and click it off. I think you can do that.

I understand the idea of we're about to shoot so let me have a scene because this is gonna be an emotional scene so like give me a minute but i'm like i think it's weird to be like i need all the day yeah no one come near me all day because i need to yell i'm like i don't know i think wasn't it um what's this uh lawrence olivia that was like ever try acting yeah so that's a hoffman on marathon man yeah yeah because like dustin hoffman didn't sleep for like three days yeah it's just like it's like relaxed i think you pull it off so i don't know but whatever i'm not different ways up the mountaintop yeah yeah i'm not even an actor i'm acting in one thing

sorry go ahead yeah i feel like a lot of it is like the pressure uh because with acting you you feel like you have to like nail it and i i feel like a lot of it is sort of the pressure to where you're like you know i need to be in this i need to be in this dark mood for hours beforehand or i'm it's not going to be authentic or real as a put but then when people get more experience then they're able to like click into it a little bit more and have a little bit more kind of be more detached from the outcome maybe yeah i would think so i mean i i get it it's hard because it's like again i haven't done a lot of acting but sometimes i feel that way with like there's movies where it's like yeah he uh robert de niro drove cabs for like six months or whatever like you can't just imagine when it's like driving a cab i feel like yeah i

think i could get there mentally You pick someone up and hey. Kind of sounds fun though. Yeah, it does. And then, you know, these guys, they're great. They pull it off. It's impressive. This is a big pivot. Listening to your podcast a lot,

you mentioned Bukakis a lot. This is a big pivot. Jeremy Pivot. Is that the whole question? Yeah. Well, reverse Bukake is my big... Oh, that's right. You like it when the guy gets squirted on by a lot of guys. Yeah, I want to reverse bukkake. It's my all-time fantasy.

I guess what always interested me about it was how highly specific it was. Well, I like just a lot of women just really just treating me like shit and jizzing in my face. I totally get that. I used to do a lot of, I had a dark period where I was doing like webcam porn and I liked it when the girls were mean to me. But it fit the moment because I was like, I was like, I thought I was cooler than the other guys on there because you could be in like a chat room with other guys and they'd be like, tell me I'm a king or something like that. I'm like, you're jacking off over the computer.

You're definitely not a king. Yeah, you stink. Right. So I'd be like, tell me I'm a loser because this is pretty pathetic what i'm doing but i don't like to me like one time i was in uh i've told the story a few places but i went to montreal years ago i was like 19. i grew up in new england so we'd always just go to montreal because it was strippers and you could drink and we got like a private showing of these two women that like you know they do whatever and um like one's like having

sex the other one with a dildo and she's like what was your i can't do accents but she was french canadian she's like what is your name and i was like joe and she's like oh joe small dick joe you got a small dick and i remember being like what what how come i gotta be that i'm like i just paid you i'm trying to sit here right i guess with me too there was a level of control because i would tell them the mean things to say to me so it still felt like i was kind of you know at the stick or at least handing it off to them yeah i guess maybe if it was just me or there's like five of us and i'm like well can't they have small dicks i don't get it right yeah she kind of pegged you i'm fairly there i think i think i'd like because i think i'd enjoy being dominated yeah i think more sort of

like i think just call me a bitch like don't make me question myself yeah well i used to like like a woman spitting in my mouth not like a loogie but yeah i was really into that but my wife now is like yeah i can't what are you talking about i'm like right fine i asked for that one time and i got totally rejected yeah yeah same like i like i had a girl spit in my face and stuff. Just a nice, you know, make me feel like shit. Yeah, I have never even thought about the idea of a reverse bukkake, but that does sound nice. Well, I had a girl that I was hooking up with one time and like sat on my face and then held my nose. Whoa.

And I couldn't breathe and she would like let go of my nose for a few seconds. It was real hot. Yeah, a girl almost like killed me being on top of my face. I like i thought my it was more the jaw pressure i thought my something was gonna break yeah you gotta support your weight you can't have your weight on the face i mean yeah i was bucking underneath i was it felt like i was in jujitsu class i mean my jaw is weak enough but yeah no i like that just rubbing a yeah stuffing a tit right in there that's nice yeah i like that about your comedy too like in your news special where you're like people think

i'm smart but really i just want to see tits yeah i feel like that's a rough a lot yeah yeah that's that's a cliff notes version but i feel that way a lot i feel like i i think i i present as like an intellectual i did a bit about this years ago that people like think of me as like a nerd. But really I have like, I'm like a thin guy with bad eyesight and like an overbite. But I'm like, I don't like sci-fi. I was not a particularly good student. I'm a very good athlete. I did, I had sex with some really attractive women.

I don't, I'm not good at math. Who'd you run with in high school? I was like, I was voted favorite senior male like i was like a very popular guy and um i was friends with like kind of um guys that were in like bands not um i ran cross country and track which i know is like a counter to what i'm saying but i hung with everybody i was like pretty cool i was not a guy who was like getting stuffed in lockers and wedgies and stuff right like cool and like i like um set up um like a pre-game before like homecoming we'd like grilled out front and like tailgated when everyone arrived at school we were like tailgating and shit and had a party and one time i showed up in like a

bikini and my buddy was in um like bathing suit we had like a like a you know like kind of a surf party whatever you call like a luau type of theme like just randomly at school i would do crazy shit like that yeah i think maybe it's because of like media but media would like tell you what like a high school looks like and stuff but most places i've gone the coolest person at the high school didn't fit into like a cutout of what you would think that would look like it was typically the person who was most willing to do the craziest shit but had kind of a but wasn't mean about it had like an easy going spirit about all of it yeah bless you thank you i mean i was like well adjusted i felt like i always talk about this i'm like i was just thinking about this recently because i was like i had no anxiety in high school really i was like but i was thinking about i'm like well i ran i was a runner

oh so the exercise so i would run like seven to nine miles a day and i also was just hanging out with friends all day every day yeah so i had this thought of like i should try to incorporate those back into my life like a lot of exercise and hanging out with friends which i do i'm able to do i'm fortunate part of it too is like it feels like there's no other option you're like this is just life and then i think when you become an adult you realize there's so much choice you can make to change your circumstances it almost uh invariably just breeds a lot of anxiety like i'm like should i change this should i change that should i is this the right person for me should i be hanging out with this person is this the right project to be working on?

And like, when you're in high school, you're not thinking about that. You're just like, these are the people I was born with. I'm going to keep kicking it with them. And yeah, we got to play a sport in high school. So I guess I'll run. Yeah, it was a lot easier. I was a baseball player growing up

and then I failed off the track team. My freshman year, I was just a bad student. And so when it came time for spring sports, I was ineligible. And so I was like, well, i can't try out for baseball but my track coach was like well you can be on the spring track team and just practice with us and then when you're eligible you can start competing again so i ended up leaving baseball just because i was like well i'm not gonna be able to the new coach isn't gonna be like oh you're an eligible failure come try out for no reason so

i ended up leaving baseball for that reason are you good at breaking balls like boston style yeah you're kind of the best for boston yeah yeah it's breaking balls i love it breaking breaking balls feels more like italian to me we always said busting balls dude yeah but yeah i love it that's my favorite thing breaking balls i was thinking of the i thought you meant baseball i was talking about i was talking about domination yeah i was like i'm like no i was never fucking great at snapping one off oh that's i was like but i had good control um i'm very good at busting balls that's why yeah i love busting balls yeah i i'm good at taking it i don't know if i'm i don't find the best at giving it well it's hard because like some people aren't into it so i always try to be respectful because like there's

some people that like are like what are you why did you say that well i i like i like i like being on the receiving end and i i love watching it happen but i think i have just such a gentle kind of um vibe where if i try to give someone shit they they're like, why did you say that? Well, busting balls with people you don't know is always horrible. I just had one where a buddy who's a comic who's great and very funny, but we were in Vegas at the Skankfest, big festival which was great.

And I guess he's like a younger, a comic certainly younger than me, and I was like, what are you doing? Like, are you volunteering? Yeah. And I thought it was funny, everyone smiled, but then he was like, no, I'm booked. Are you serious? And I was like what are you doing like are you volunteering yeah and i thought it was funny everyone smiled but then he was like no i'm on i'm booked are you serious and i was like you just made that a hundred times worse like i was like lightly busting your balls and you thinking that i was genuine made you seem like really insecure yeah yeah that you were like

no no i'm like yeah obviously you're not volunteering you dipshit yeah so sometimes you bust balls and like they just make it worse on their own. Right. Well, that's what's nice too about people who bust balls a lot is you're like, okay, well, they're setting the tempo. I guess they can take it back and then you can slip into that. Sometimes they can't though and it gets weird. When you're like, I thought that's what we were doing.

Right, but it's just a one-way street. They're like, no, I bust your balls. It doesn't come back. Bobby Kelly, who's one of my good buddies, who happens to be in town. I love you guys. When you go on his podcast, it's always a one-way street. They're like, no, I bust your balls. It doesn't come back. Bobby Kelly, who's one of my good buddies, who happens to be in town. I love you guys. When you go on his podcast, it's always hilarious. Oh, thanks.

Yeah, we just did one yesterday. He was in town, but he left today. But we were hanging out. Oh, no, no, we weren't hanging out. Sorry, I lost track of my train of thought. He had an old bit years ago about the guy that sucks at busting balls when you're like, yeah, whatever, man, you suck. And he's like, yeah, I heard your mother's sick yeah he's like oh what she is sick i always made

me that's such a great example of a bad ball bust dudo one more big piv do you still talk about having herpes and stuff like that no i stopped no no i do i do i'm happy because i got herpes too oh and i talk about it yeah oh yeah and then uh and you were you were first to market on it you were talking about it well before me but i but now when i hear like newer comics or someone who's been in it less than me start talking about having herpes i get a little territorial where i'm like hey man that's kind of my thing is talking about the herpes yeah it's hard because i've tried it as a bit it's still hard like on stage people are still like oh like it's like a weird word gross to people but yeah i've been talking about it i thought it's an interesting story of like how i started began being with my wife there was like we had

this fake comedy award show called the laker awards with this comic named Chris Laker. This is like 12 years ago now. And it was the year I blacked out and shit in a woman's shoe. And they gave me an award called the Gentleman's Gentleman for being the nicest guy who shits in shoes. And then I gave a speech and I thought it would be funny. And I was like newly herpified. And I was like, this will be funny. I was like, I tried to give like an emotional speech. I was like, herpified and i was like this will be funny i was like i tried to give

like an emotional speech i was like it's been a really hard year i got herpes just like a wild horrible painful case of herpes and this really makes it all worthwhile and i thought that was gonna be funny and it just bought like it was just really it's crazy because like i mean i've read different statistics but it's incredibly common so i I always try to turn it on the audience. I'm like, a bunch of you guys who are here tonight have herpes. But I understand why people don't talk about it. Yeah. But it never felt like that big of a deal to me.

I wasn't that bummed about it when it happened. I don't know if you had this experience. I was bummed because my first outbreak, I mean, I was drinking excessively at the time, so I was a mess. experience i was bummed because my first outbreak i mean i was drinking excessively at the time so i was a mess but my first outbreak was like egregiously bad and it went for weeks it was really really horrible yeah mine wasn't that rough mine was pretty manageable yeah i think because i was just living an out-of-control lifestyle it was it was bad but um oh but so at this this award show i gave this speech and it really bombed.

And people were like, oh, I think maybe because it was so long ago. There was no sex positivity, I think, or something. And I came off stage and my now wife was a friend of mine at the time. She's a comic, Sarah Tolomoy. She was wonderful. She was like, I think it's great. Like nobody was talking to me. And she's like, I think it's great that you talk about herpes.

I think more people should. And I think it's awesome. awesome yeah you turn it into a positive where it's like you got courage for letting it rip on it yeah but she said that and i was like oh i got like this she has herpes and she wants to fuck like she said that and i was like oh nice and so i started like talking to her more and then uh later like a couple weeks after time she was like no i don't have herpes and she's like nor do i want to have sex with you i just was being nice she was actually just a nice person right trying to be supportive well that's the male brain right just quickly converting it into sexual potential yeah i tried to do this joke recently about like how every time with a guy

the waitress comes over was like wait what can i get you to drink he's like i think she wants to i think she wants to fuck i'm like i think she just wants to bring you a coke but uh but anyways now we're married well what kind of shoe did you shit in it was like a high top nike sneaker oh nice yeah i feel you get it in there right up some of it was in there was some out and then there was like a piece it was a it was a real situation yeah did you well. Did you? Well, because I think I remember this story. You didn't remember. They called you and said like, hey, you did this, right? No. So what happened was I woke up.

I was like, obviously out of my mind. I woke up in bed and it was like morning. First of all, I had like a flight to Seattle, like a cross country flight. And I was going for a month for the Seattle comedy competition. And I missedcountry flight. And I was going for a month for the Seattle Comedy Competition. And I missed my flight. And I was like, okay, I remember being at this house. Okay, great. And then I had to piss so bad. I was like, I have got to get to a bathroom because I'm going to piss my pants. And that would be really embarrassing if I just peed my pants right now. So I went and found the bathroom. I remember peeing for like 10 minutes. It was like a naked gun piss. And I remember feeling like I don't feel good.

And I think that was a bad night. And I walked into the living room. It was a table like this, but it was broken, like Chris Farley. Like the table was just shattered. And I remember thinking like, I'm pretty sure I did that. That seems like that was me. And then I went back in the bedroom and there was like footprints of shit and there was some shit in the sneaker and i grabbed it with like my sock

and then like twisted it inside out and put it in the trash and i cleaned up what i what was going through your head when you were doing that i was thinking like it was a lot it was like i missed my flight these people hate me and then they were gone so i thought that like i was just a terror and they fled like i was like they must have just gotten a hotel right because i was like they must have like you didn't know these people very well right i didn't know them too i knew them a little bit they worked at the club and uh so i had i had like some rapport i knew him a little bit. They worked at the club. And so I had like some rapport. I knew them a bit. Like I would say, you know, you know him as well as you know someone that works at a comedy. Oh, shit.

Let's just pour the whole fucking thing. And so I was like, I always see them. And it was like a thing of like this. This was me. I can tell this was me. It was bad. But the thing that was hilarious was I texted being like, I'm so sorry. I want to kill

myself i'm ashamed and they wrote back like oh dude we all get out of control sometimes it was fun crazy night that was fun and i was like oh geez these girls are wild and then i like flew across the country airplane mode whatever or maybe the phone was off at that time but like flew across the country and what i didn't realize is they had gone to work so this happened after they had left for work which is the most insane part of the story is like i was shitting in a shoe like during the daytime it was like it must have been like nine o'clock in the morning yeah so they came home to this and we're like what and then the text was like we had no idea how bad this was this is crazy

oh my god and i was like that makes more sense i was like this is this is a better reaction and uh it was horrible i thought luckily they were young and you know very sweet about it and i wrote i still it was on facebook so the message still exists it's like a message like this hilarious you ever go back and read it just to bring yourself back to that moment? Yeah, I have, and it's really ugly. It was bad. I mean, it was like a thoughtful – I read it, and I'm like, this is touching. And the woman was really sweet about it.

She's like, hey, we all get crazy. And I sent her money for sneakers, and they were like, you know, it happens. And then I ended up talking to the one girl, like, again, like, not in any kind of romantic way, but just like having a conversation. And they were cool and forgiving. They must be like, do you, I mean, you made so much progress since then. They must be like proud of you, right? I don't know. I've thought about that before of like reaching out like, hey, it's the 10 year anniversary of me rock bottoming out i'm married now i'm sorry yeah it's over for a decade you know comedic icon yeah yeah they're good doing well um yeah i kind of wonder that if they still

think about that i think they're rooting for you i think when they see you on tv they're like this is good i hope so um but yeah it was it was crazy but the funny thing is my friends are all wild animals so i remember like calling one comic and being like dude i've done that like four times and then nate bargatze who's now extremely successful was like crying laughing or he was on a flight yeah and he just could not stop laughing it's the hardest i've ever heard him laugh so there was a part of you that's like i guess this is like not that bad right um and then i kept drinking for another couple years i uh i i the bed and on my sister-in-law's grandma's quilt in high school and i was it sent me into like a deep deep spiral. Yeah, it's not a great feeling.

No, because my brother was like, she was inconsolable. And I was like, I was like a junior in high school and I was like, I just thought I was like the worst human being alive. Was it a fat shit? Dude, it was horrific. Cause my brother thought I was dead, you know? So he stayed in the bed.

I was in New York City, I went to boarding school. And so brother lived in manhattan so i would party in new york city and then my friends carried me in because i was like passed out they carried me in and put me on like his futon and he slept in there with me because he thought i was dead and or was gonna die you know and i shit the bed and i just wake up to him fucking t-shirt wrapped around his face oh god he's cleaning it up he's like you shit the bed like the worst but there was no i didn't tell any of my friends about it i was so embarrassed i it wasn't like i was able to like like it was just deep deep shame and i think for my older too, he's sort of like a father figure in a way. Just because he's, like, 11, 12 years older.

I just, like, I don't know if I still... It's still, like, a dark memory for me. I'm not... Yeah. Yeah, it doesn't feel good. I mean, that's, like, the time in my life that I've most been like, I should kill myself. Like, I think i should kill it would be the right thing to do right now yeah because you shit in a shoe though because i

shit all over this woman's floor i mean it was crazy the thing about shitting that's weird shitting the bed particularly because i i thought i was shitting it i was so out of my mind that like it was like the heel of a shoe i was like oh this must be a play this is some kind of like it'll some resemblance to like a thing yeah toilet so i think i was like thinking like i'm shitting but shitting the bed is because it's like to shit while like perpendicular to the ground like horizontally yeah because sometimes shit is work it's like a right yeah so to do that just like laying is almost impressive. It is pretty horrific. You're a good athlete. Oh thanks. Your system works well.

I think I had some like you know I don't want to get gross but I think I had like a euro before so maybe that That'll do it. Yeah you get plenty of fiber the booze I mean I think your body also was just like get everything out of me. Yeah under my sister in law's quilt. Yeah. Do you want to answer some questions? Sure I love your body also is just like get everything out of me yeah under my sister in law's quilt yeah yeah

um do you want to answer some questions sure i love questions let me grab my laptop they were brought to you by the legends at manscape manscape thank you so much for keeping our chins peeved for looking after our hogs for making sure their dinks are looking fresh and clean because no no no no no no no no no no michael myers is here to say that if you don't manscape he's going to cut off your bell end so that means you're going to have a shaft but no bell end that's basically what it's like when you don't manscape all right and all you have to do is get the performance package you get the you get the lawnmower you get the weed whacker ear and nose hair trimmer

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that's 20 off plus free shipping with the code go deep at manscape.com say trick or treat to your beautiful new halloweeny with manscape all right back to the show we're on the same show uh oh yeah yeah yeah yeah i'm going i'm going up by like 11 30 i'm on both i'm on tonight it's like man of scalco and david spade and oh on the eight yeah i was like that's cool this is like a thrill i feel like a boy out here i'm like whoa i love watching um i love watching sebastian live too i've never seen him live it's so funny so i there's a lot of comics i just don't want or haven't seen much of i always tell this story i'm like i've seen one sebastian maniscalco bit and it

was on comedians in cars they just show a clip and i was like crawling on my hands and knees laughing yeah and then this is like what we're talking about earlier i just never watched more yeah i was always just like i get it he's hilarious okay yeah i hate watching stand-up on tv because i just feel like it loses so much yeah so i'll watch them tonight. But that one, it was the bit about on Convenience and Cars about company when you're a kid. Someone rings the doorbell and you're excited. His physicality is incredible.

Get my sword. I was like, it's the hardest I've ever laughed in my life. And then I just wasn't like, let me watch the rest. I remember when I first saw him, when I was first getting into stand-up, I went to the store to watch. you know and i didn't get it for like the first two minutes i was like what is this guy's deal and then i got it and i it was

like the hardest i've ever laughed oh he's very funny sorry for yelling into the microphone oh good um i'm on it's a chill vibe i'm on on East Coast time still. I'm all wacky. Let's get some listeners' cues. I met Bobby Kelly yesterday. Best skin in the game. Beautiful skin. Beautiful skin. Beautiful lips. Yeah.

Incredible. Really nice lips. I saw him on Zoom, and I was like, is he using a filter? I see him in real life. It's like, holy shit. He's glowing. He's a beautiful man. Does he play drums? Or is that fake? A little no he plays drum he learned to play he was in uh dennis

leary's show sex drugs oh he's a drummer so uh yeah he's a he's a competent drummer do you think stand-up is more digestible maybe when it's on tv it seems like more of like a but when it's more digestible on youtube because it feels more like you're there yeah maybe i mean it's so hard to pull off i just think even the best specials lose so much right because you're what i think albums like are better than a special because like you're watching an audience watch a comic like you're not in the crowds you're like removed from it yeah and i always think like even like bring the pain or like the best specials you're like as amazing as this is it was a hundred times better in the room that's always thinking about if i were to choose special i feel like i'd

because you have bits that'll like crush in the room but you're sort of like i need to it needs to be like a 10 i feel like to translate to screen yeah and it's also because you're like you're never capturing the best version of you like this is great the special is good and i did well and i'm happy but it's like i was at the funny bone in omaha three fridays ago and it was like unbelievable yeah yeah it's hard no every comedian who like i love every time i see their special but i've watched them work it out i'm always like oh man you kind of it wasn't quite all the way there yeah i also feel like there's little things you do to a live audience to like keep them on board or to check in with them

that doesn't play well on like a special where you want to have like the economy of words and like just have the ideas come through yeah and and it's like it's it's almost like it's different muscles almost i don't know i'm like i try to keep it that's too special i mean i've done i guess i did like half hours on comedy central and netflix but the two i did on my own i tried to just have it be as like close to a regular show as possible and hopefully it translates which i think it does does did it feel different doing like where you were kind of like in charge of the production of it versus doing it for like a netflix or a yeah or a comedy central yeah because it felt just more like a

regular like headlining show where netflix and comedy central were both like a series it was like the half hour and then the stand-up so it was like there's other people there i shot with two other guys you're gonna you know tell the material to somebody there's like a bunch of people coming in and out. Is that weird doing it with other people? Like they go up right before you and like you're both, it's this huge moment for both of you guys. Yeah, it's completely different and weird. And it feels like this weird like factory produced thing.

I didn't like the way they edited some of them sometimes too. None specifically, but I've watched somewhere. I was like, I don't know why they cut that way. It's funny, just this morning I was talking about with ari shafir about editing a special and he was like he used my netflix special as an example of like there's some really bad cuts in there and i'm like i never watched it and i don't it was years ago so i don't care but i was like oh wow okay um great i just read my dude my favorite from your news specials with the sign you're like you're like you're talking about you're like i like you regret the sign or something yeah yeah that was genuine by the way they because they said that they were going to recreate the

seller sign with my name so i genuinely thought it was going to be the size of the seller sign when i walked in the room i was like this is crazy it's insane it was like eight feet long it was like eight by five or something like that i think i think it looks great oh thanks yeah i thought it played well but then you but you talking about it was really really funny it was wild and then we just i threw it in the trash they were like you can keep it you have to come get it yeah it cost a ton of money yeah but i was just like i can't have this in my home in your apartment it's just like it's insane and i'm like i have to get a truck i have to rent a truck and then people were really mad a lot of people were like i'll buy it this and

that and i was like it lives on in the special it served its purpose right there was something i really found compelling in your when you were talking about going on the road with louis and you guys had like a conversation about chris rock and you were being like critical of like not really critical but you're just saying like he had one line about like the sky's the limit the limits the sky and you were like it sounds good but it doesn't really have like a idea behind it that that is like intelligible and then um but what i really liked about that moment was that like louis was kind of trying to big brother you and you were like, no, like, I'm a good comedian. I have the right to, like, say these things. And so how do you, like, I find that sometimes too, where, like, I know I'm not, like, at that level, but I have the aspiration in my head that if I think I could be, that's the only way I'll get there. So like, how do you like balance being like confident in your own potential while still like, and being able to be critical of things that might come from someone who's farther along than you?

Huh, I don't know. That's like a deeper question than I, we just went deep. That's like a deeper question than I was anticipating. No, well that, so the bit was about, he says when you're white're white the sky's the limit when you're black the limits the sky and even as like a teenager i hated that joke because i was like well that doesn't make you just those two things mean the same thing it's just you're just saying a thing that sounds like a bit and so i was just i would never say that to chris no like hey you fucking but i was just saying it and then the thing that sounds like a bit and so i was just i would never say that to chris no like hey you fucking but i was just saying it and then the thing that was crazy is that like louis texted

chris and i was like wait wait wait what are you doing i was like i don't want to be this guy right but to me it was just a thing of like i think that's like the best special i used it earlier as like the example of like the best special but but it was just one joke where I'm like, that was just a trick. I mean, all of comedy, I guess to some degree is a trick, but you're like that one.

I see. He was just using the power of his speech and rhetoric to like get the crowd like revved up, but it really didn't hold together. Yeah. Limits the sky and sky's the limit and mean the exact same thing. So that's what didn't, it doesn't make any sense to me and then it's funny but sometimes i'll say this people are like well it means like as a white

person you're not i'm like no like yeah i'm like i understand the meaning yeah it's easier for white i understand yeah yes it's difficult to be black i understand that i'm not arguing that point i'm saying like yeah on paper sky is the limit the limit is the sky means the exact same thing right to say there's a lot of jokes like that where people are like you know oh you're you're a fun age 35 i'm a stupid age 48 and i'm like well you're just saying those two things differently yeah that doesn't make any there's a lot of people do bits like that where you're like well you're just saying it you're just saying something my name sounds gay steven your name sounds manly michael

like well i could do the complete reverse of that right michael sorry i'm doing gay well i'm from the 90s that's always painful too because the audience will love it you know yeah of course like i had i remember an ex one time there's this one guy on a show i like disliked his comedy nice guy but we're driving home and she's like that guy was brilliant and i'm like babe don't fucking say that like come on yeah no it's hard and then you're like where do i know should i argue like is there any benefit to me like explaining to somebody that likes somebody that they shouldn't?

That's how I feel bad when doing movie review podcasts sometimes. People are like, you ruined that film for me. I'm like, I'm sorry. That's what good critics do. You read a Pauline Kael or Roger Ebert review and you're like, I was stupid. I never should have liked Back to the Future. They can tear the whole thing down. That's a bad example. That movie's brilliant.

Usual Suspects suspects that movie makes no sense roger hebert wrote a great thing about it like narratively read the pauline kale review of uh back to the future it's like i hate pauline kale you don't like her i loathe her because she hated raging bull she's like raging bull sucks and you're like okay i mean come on you but her writing is really good her writing's amazing like her words are no no she's a great She's like, raging bull sucks. And you're like, okay, I mean, come on. You fucking twat. But her writing is really good. Her writing's amazing. Like her words are-

No, no, she's a great writer. She's wrong on a lot of movies, but she'll say some shit. Like McCabe and Miss Miller, she's like, people walked around with headphones on, even in the 1860s. Just the way she could like make up an illusion, I'd be like, whoa, that's fucking powerful.

Yeah, no, she's a very good writer, but you're like, there's a few that you're like- She's not a lot of fun. Raging bull, like Jaws. I jaws i'm like all right you douche yeah she was a douche not enough people say that um all right gentlemen i find myself in quite a troublesome predicament my roommate keeps stealing my food i live on campus with three dudes but the other two are respectful homies with unlimited meal plans this weasley third roommate on the other hand has been caught red handed sucking down spoonfuls of my peanut butter

and taking massive helpings from my delicious jar of raw honey for his tea. And now he is elevated to swiping my snacks and turkey burgers. Now my dudes, I like that this guy has a good diet. Now my dudes, I have no qualms about sharing the wealth, but if this kid does not ask, he should not receive.

When I inquired with a reason and level tone as to whether he had helped himself to a couple of my goodies, he denied it vehemently as though I was crazy to even ask such a thing. I feel as though I have no other option but to sabotage my own food supply so that he takes it seriously.

Perhaps a couple million Scoffle units in the next batch of overnight opes or some malic acid injected into my creamy Trader Joe's peanut butter. What are your thoughts on this? I don't want to stoop to this level, but he refuses to listen to reason. You're looking at me.

I don't know. So the guy's just taking his food? I don't like that. I had a buddy in college steal my orange chicken. I got orange chicken from Panda Express and he stole it and i was hung over

the next day and i couldn't eat it no i remember having a roommate where i had uh like a can of coke and then he left a dollar like he took it and then left like a dollar two dollars or whatever but you're like right but it's not the money yeah i don't have a cold coke now i don't need two dollars i need a cold can of coke um and it goes up in that place yeah i just i'm like yeah so i think that guy sucks i don't i don't know what malic acid is though is he gonna yeah he was throwing out some terms i don't know i'll give it a quick go oh i took that from mark from Mark Norman. There you go. Yeah. Yeah. He was a big influence. Malic acid. I just don't.

Is he going to like give him the shits or is he going to kill him? What does Malic? Is sour and acidic. Oh, okay. Oh, so I don't think it's bad for you. In fact, I think it actually. This guy seems to know a lot about. He's a smart guy.

Dietary things. Is malic acid good for you this is kind of the perfect crime oh yeah it helps with your energy levels iron absorption skin improvements and better oral health it just tastes like shit yeah that'll show him it's just gonna look like a million bucks um he keeps he starts stealing more and more food he's like dude i don't know what you sabotage the peanut butter with but it's really boosting my overall feelings he's like yeah i'm like i'm like cut now nice and lean thanks dude for this he spider mans him it's like toby mcguire in the mirror with the six pack i i just i would just i don't know i wouldn't poison my own

food i would just try to assert myself more and say you're hurting my feelings i i do that too so i always think it's good to go sincere, right? I'm like, hey, this is like I'm feeling taken advantage of. It's hurting my feelings. It's hurting our friendship. What do you do if he doesn't agree at that point? Then I think you move out. I don't know.

Isn't that crazy? You got to move out. Yeah, I don't know. Or you kick him out. I don't know the power dynamic in the apartment. Yeah, maybe get the other guys on board. It is weird. He's only stealing his food too.

Is he not stealing the other guy's foods i'm not sure i'm sure he's just going willy-nilly in there he must be unless he's are they just two of them there's four of them and three of the guys are on meal plans oh so they don't need the food oh i guess they're eating at the cafeteria all the time right getting fat ass burritos. Yeah, I don't know. This guy sucks. To me, taking somebody's food is like really. I don't know. I don't know if that's top 10 worst things you can do, but it's it's it's closer to the top than it is to the bottom.

It's up there. Yeah. I mean, just taking someone's food is that's no good. I think you should take his car and drive it until it's empty oh that's not bad take all the gas all right uh jabal sultans of stoke i'm currently working in investment banking shout out to the pod for getting me through some heinous hours so far and i'm planning on doing some adventuring once my time in banking is over still have two years to go before i jump to my next job i'm on i'm befuddled on whether I should buy and convert a van and road trip across the country

or buy a sailboat and sail the East Coast Caribbean. My dank girlfriend will be coming with and likes the sound of both. Growing up, I have been fortunate enough to do some great sailing trips and road trips, so third-party advice from the Stoke Lords is appreciated. Dude, 100% East Caribbean sailing trip. I'm with you, dude.

Yeah, that sounds amazing to me. Yeah. I can't even remember the other option. I mean, that's... Road trip? In a van. No. Vans are cool, but, I mean, if you're in the Caribbean for weeks...

I mean, what kind of sail? I mean, like, you know, is there... Can you come off sail and go on the motor a little bit? I mean, sailing's work. Isn't it like that fun, meaningful work where you're rugged and empowered by it? I guess. Sailing can suck.

I've never really done it. I've done it on a little lake in Montauk one time. Do you know how to sail? No, but I've spent time on sailboats. I lived on a big sailboat, a big schooner. I volunteered for like a week to teach kids to sail, and I was like a deckhand. It was really fun.

And I was like the volunteer, so I was like, oh, look at me, I'm doing this too. But it's work. The boat's tilting, you need the proper wind. It's like you can fall off the fucking thing right yeah there's probably a high higher uh probability some bag could go down i mean car travel is dangerous too but not like a sailboat yeah sailboat but i mean that sounds amazing i mean most sailboats i don't know what kind of sailboat he's talking about you can just throw the prop on and cruise on to the next location.

You can just drive it. Yeah, I'd go sailing. I think going out into the open ocean too, when you're just at the helm. Yeah, yeah. I don't think there's any better feeling. Yeah, it's pretty good. Yeah, the water's nice.

I think you should have someone put a treasure somewhere. Like the Bahamas. Be like, let's go find it. I like that. Yeah, go sail. Get a treasure or have someone put a treasure somewhere like the bahamas be like let's go find it i like that yeah go sail get a treasure van all right last key greetings stoke lord's chat and jt you are absolute legends and your pot has been a source of inspiration and stoke for several years now i come to you with a conundrum that i've been mulling over for my 26 years on this beautiful orb i genetically inherited an undescended testicle from my dad to my knowledge this hasn't impacted any part of my life besides being a stone lighter than most of the male population but for my entire life i've carried this shame with me and haven't told anyone

save my dank girlfriend of five years i honestly don't know if my previous girlfriends knew about it but my dank girlfriend immediately accepted my single ball syndrome my issue is i've never told any of my friends about my lone nut, and I feel like it's too late to bring it up after knowing these friends for so long, some of them 10 plus years. If I were to bring up my wrinkle berry, how could I go about it? Should I find the next time we're all naked, maybe before a swim and utilize the moment to point out my half sack? Or should I hold on to this secret forever? Thanks for any advice. And if you think I should announce my lone cojone to the world, you can say my name.

Otherwise, please keep me anonymous. That's hilarious. I mean, first of all, to me, this is a gift. I mean, to have a secret... I'm not a secret keeper. I just say everything. The idea of knowing people

for 10 years and being like, heads up, guys, can I just get the floor for a second? I think he should reveal it by mooning them, but bend over so you can see the dangling set, like from behind. Or from the front and just lift the cock and reveal it. But to be able to reveal that this entire time I've had one ball, I feel like that'll kill.

I think the place will go crazy. I think he's got a really... time i've had one ball i feel like that'll kill i think the place will go crazy and i think that i think he's got a really he only has one chance or like he you can only tell everybody one time that you have one so i would wait for a huge party like a fourth of july party yeah tell everybody to meet upstairs in 10 minutes get all 50 people up there and then show everybody your one ball and make it as dramatic and as much of a spectacle as possible should he declare a new nickname yeah that's a good idea like lone ball steve or see what they come up with maybe i don't know but i would tell it as a tale like really

like like a like a sea shanty like really to present it and then just be like pa yeah i like the goat one where he bends over. Yeah. I think that would be nice. So in the, in the shanty tale, is it like he lost it under dramatic circumstances or is he using medical terms,

but in like more of like a Hemingway prose? Yeah. I don't know. I mean, maybe just from a kid, you know, I was 13. I thought that,

you know, I don't, I don't know, but I feel like, by the way, he said some girls he dated didn't notice. I feel like my wife would know right away if I was, and he's been doing naked swims with his homies and they haven't noticed yeah that's interesting i think i think he just still has skin there and right i don't know if

anyone's really checking out like yeah i guess when i've got an oral i don't know if anyone's ever really checked for both before i feel like you'd notice right i don't know i think you would if you can feel a ball yeah a lot of male porn stars because i think they take those shots in their penis to get hard their balls start to like go back up well when you're gonna come when you're like a route your balls get as close to your body as they can same with cold they gotta be warm right balls get as close to your body as they can. Same with cold. They got to be warm.

Right. Right. They get close to the body for the heat. I've had a ball go up into me during sex. What? Yeah, they get like tight, like the way he has, but reverse. And I have to kind of like. Oh, I've had that.

I've had that a little bit of that. Yeah. A little push down. You got to just kind of go like. Yeah, you push like in like the pelvic area. Yeah, it's kind of scary. You get that pressure and it just massages it down. Yeah, I think I got a short cord or something.

Balls are kind of terribly designed. Yeah, so vulnerable. They're just hanging out there. It's not good. It's a good conversation starter for him. Because if you're at a bar and someone's introducing, and they're like, this is Steve, he has one ball. And you're like, whoa. And you're like like, this is like Steve, he has one ball.

I'm like, whoa. And you're like, yeah, man. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. I think there's nothing to be ashamed of. I mean, like I said, we're outwardly talking about herpes. Yeah. That's like, that spreads.

One ball doesn't spread. He's not going to fuck a woman and she loses a ball. I've had good luck with not spreading the herpes. My wife does not, has never had an outbreak. If she has it, she's never had an outbreak. We've been having unprotected sex for years. I was winking at all the ladies who listen yeah so you know blow me um all right well we have one more segment it's all right we didn't prep you because we don't want to give people homework no no you'll be out of here relatively soon all right great yeah i'm

here it's uh we do a beef of the week a babe of the week and a legend of the week oh fun chat who's your beef of the week uh my beef of the week is with disney um they're doing major price hikes on the tickets and um i like going to disney i'm not afraid to say it i love going to disney and i think weekends now are about 700 bucks if you want to do like what for two people if you want to go for like one or two days it's like 700 it's like if you want to go for two it's almost like a grand i think that's appalling yeah and um i don't know it's almost like they're out to make money more than make me happy which i think is uh you know atrocious um my beef of the week is with uh

i'm just highlighting an international beef that i wasn't aware of russia ukraine yeah do you hear about this shit the fuck's going on over there this is is insane. To Vladimir Putin, take a chill pill, dude. Totally unnecessary. Not cool. Not cool at all, man. What's your beef of the week? Wait, was that really it? No.

Oh, I was like, did I just ruin your thing? It was a... Did you know Belgians think they invented French fries? And because of that, they only call them fries there they don't like it if you call them french fries because they think they were the the originators of it i still call them freedom fries i had hey man yeah fuck you belgium you didn't do shit you get the waffle and chocolate yeah it's not enough do friend do the french beef back and call their chocolate french chocolate oh yeah that'd be nice little name control game i mean i think at this point they already lost like it's french fries just give it up yeah yeah you're not getting it it's

not coming back as a nation they've just lost and i feel in france even like most people when i order fries i usually say fries so So even France is like losing. I'm never like, let me get some French fries. Yeah, that's true. So fuck both of them. I think America's number one, if you ask me. Yeah. Agreed.

It's hard to reach, but. But who's number two? I guess Canada. Yeah. Who's your beef of the week? I mean, does that have to be a person? I guess Disney's not a person. No, it could be an entity.

My Beef of the Week, my Beef of the Year is Starbucks prioritizing mobile orders. I go to Starbucks. I like life. I like dopamine and serotonin and seeing people and looking them in the face and going, hey, how do you do? I'll have a tea.

And then seeing the display case and being like, you know what? I'll have a brownie too. That's looking nice. And they and being like you know what i'll have a brownie too that's looking nice and they go haha and i i i i have a nice back and forth but now you do that and then you wait 25 minutes because everyone's slaving over people ordering that aren't even there yet and then there'll be like 25 uh-oh is that a mobile order i see your coffee i'm nervous uh postmate it down okay all right but there's like there'll be like 25 beverages just sitting there and it's just me i'm in the store looking at a uh dude bro why are you coming at me like i'm just a real life person i ordered a cup of tea hot water in a cup

and they're over there making the super drinks for people that aren't even there making me crazy do you think you'll ever make the leap to doing it on the phone? I refuse. I love that. I just refuse. Yeah. I'm not against mobile. I don't hate the mobile order people.

This is a confusing thing when I talk about this. I get the mobile ordering thing. Chipotle does it right. Chipotle has a mobile order station and an in-person station. And that's what everyone should do. They should have one crew working on mobile orders and one. So I don't have to wait extra long because a bunch of assholes in their car are ordering. As a Bostonian, how do you feel about Dunkin'?

Well, I have a few unpopular Boston opinions. I like their donuts, but I'm a tea drinker. And they just have regular green tea, like Bill's green tea, whatever, just some shit. And Starbucks has a nice Emperor's Clouds and Mist, and it's really nicely done. And I like the, not rapport, what's the word? The back and forth?

No, no, no, I'm way off on my word. The ambiance. The vibe. Starbucks is like... You got the ambiance going? It's nice. Yeah, they got leather seats. Starbucks during the holidays?

It's unbelievable. I don't know if there's anything better. It is unbelievable. It feels like what I want my mother's home to be like. They did a good job. The red menus. I went to the original when we were in Seattle. Yeah. It's pretty cool.

It's pretty cool. My friend, his wife, my friend, was there one time and she was like, wow, this is built in 1918. And then we walked to the next place and she's like, this one was built in 1920. And literally it was the third business in a row. She's like, 1922. it was the third business in a row she's like 1922 it was the

addresses like she thought each building had been built exactly two years apart and it took her like three billion to be like oh oh okay you blew my mind for a second i'm like wait starbucks was built in eight nineteen yeah no that's what she thought. I think it's 71. I'm a big Starbucks guy. I'm there like three times a day. Chad, who's your babe of the week? My babe of the week is Rollerblades.

I don't know if you guys are aware, but Rollerblades are back. I didn't know that. Oh, nice. Rollerblading. I was a big blader back in the day. I opted for the blades. I went to the skate park and got my K2s, and I was busting Royale grinds.

I can't remember any of the other grinds I did, but they were sick. Got in the half pipe, never busted air, but got some good stalls on the coping. I'm just psyched that they're back. I'm going to start blading again. I'm going to get my Genkos out and just fucking rip. Joe, I feel like you blade.

No, never bladed. It's funny because in wrestling, blading is like when you slice your head open. Right, ECW shit. Yeah, yeah. You just start spraying. Yeah, you look at Ric Flair and Dusty Rhodes, their heads are all fucking gnarly from cutting themselves.

Yeah. So that's what I was thinking about. But no, never never strapped on a pair of roller blades i roller skated a couple times oh yeah same deal well if you if you want a blade sometime yeah i don't know that i could look i think i think the ship has sailed i don't know i'm nervous damn yeah i feel that too when you go to the retro roller rings though and they don't have blades it's like what are we doing here guys dude yeah my babe of the week is um a root canal i finished my root canal today yeah dude wasn't that bad everyone talks about them like they're like the worst thing that can happen to you i don't know if i went to a good doc or i got to it early but it was a peaceful experience i'm not even in pain right now. I didn't take any pain meds. I feel good. They numb it up and they do a good job with that.

And the numbing is not that bad. And now I'm like, I don't know, I'm kind of amped on dentistry. Like it was fun. Nice. And I feel different being the person who, you know, everyone hates it. So I'm like, I'm unique. I'm like, I like root like root canals so you're done done like you have the cap on no i get my cap next week from my dentist but i'm done with the the new root in my back top left tooth okay they showed me an x-ray of it looks fucking sick yeah i got a similar thing going these two strong like white spindles are just intersecting in there yeah Yeah, I got that too. Keeping this guy. And I guess it's 95% success rate that you keep it for 10 to 30 years.

At some point, it will fall out. That's awful. Yeah, it is, right? 10 to 30? 95% success rate, it lasts that long. But that's a huge window. It's a 20-year window. I know.

There's a huge difference between 10 years and 30. But the next 10 years, I'm cruising. No concern. Yeah. God, I didn't even... I thought they were just good. So, like, eventually, I'm going to have to, like, pull that screw out of my head, and I have nothing in there?

Yeah. Do they do the whole thing over again, or you just don't have teeth? I think they do a tooth replacement at that point. Okay. You just get a brand new guy. Oh, this is fucking me up. I got horrible dentist problems. I just hate it.

I hate it. I mean, it is weird that it's like a bone that comes out of your head. Yeah. And it is the first point of decay. You kind of see what's coming down the line the most through here, I feel like. Yeah. But I'm also on nose breathing now, so maybe that'll help. This is awful. I hated this. This. But I'm also on nose breathing now, so maybe that'll help. This is awful.

I hated this. This whole experience was so wonderful, and then now I'm just worried about my root canals falling out. No, dude, you're so sad. It's been five years. You know what they told me? They said you're good. Oh, really?

Oh, that's sweet. Do you have a baby of the week? Yeah, and now it's worrying me because I, so I have Tommy John, you guys know Tommy John again? Wonderful comedian and writer now. But he brought me, I'm a big chocolate chip cookie guy. He went to this place, I think it's Milk Jar here in LA.

And he brought me like a nice box of a dozen, half a dozen of them. And they're so delicious. And he brought me an extra one, like a cherry on top. And that's the only one I've had. So I have six cookies so as soon as this is over i'm gonna go back and celebrate with a nice thick chocolate chip cookie decay my teeth a little bit but uh it's literally of the week because i got one a day for like a full week oh that's awesome yeah pretty pumped about it dude nothing like a good cookie chad who's your legend of the week yeah i might piggyback off that one

please my girlfriend made some um fruity pebble cookies where it's like chocolate chip but with fruity pebbles in there oh wow and i don't even know she has chocolate chip but they just takes like cookies with a hint of fruity pebbles i'm like this is amazing but it's like a whole plate and i'm bad at resisting temptation so I'm like I can resist anything but temptation that's what Oscar Wilde said yeah I'm like I'm like take these to work you got to get him out of the house that's the thing I've already had like six if the sweet treats are there no one can resist but dude yeah cookies it's always good to because I I don't really drink that

much either I don't really drink so it's like always nice to i've desserts and stuff for a very good kind of reward yeah absolutely did you do your legend no i'm gonna do it right now my legend of the week is uh i played trivial pursuit great game i hate board games i was actually into this one i like trivial pursuit it's fun because it's more skill based like you feel like you're in control a bit more than these rando games where you're just like i'm just fucking rolling dice um and i found out on a true or false you might know this because you're a water you played water polo true or false water polo players at the beginning when it started would actually be on top of barrels while they played oh dude i have no idea

true really it was like polo like where they're on horses so they just converted it to water and the guys would be on barrels right on barrel yeah paddling around i had no idea i grew up around water polo players and this knowledge never made its way to me so legend is trivial pursuit or water polo barrels dude i don't know man that's such a tough one to call i mean i guess i was trying to get both under that umbrella but if you're really pushing me to make a decision i'm gonna have to go with the barrels trivial pursuit sick for bringing that knowledge to me but just i picture it in my head and i get happy yeah i played in the wrong era yeah i'd use my qu quads. Yeah, what the fuck? Jack dudes, big torsos, just...

How do they move? Doggy paddle, bro. Long arms. Whoa. I don't know. They might have had a... You have your own row? I don't know how you throw the ball.

Maybe you smack it with the paddle. Polo style. Paddle? Wow. Who's your legend of the week? Boy, all I can think about is my root canal falling out. I know. I really saw you do it.

It starts to hurt? What happened? How does it start? How do you know? I just got x-rayed. I just went to the dentist a week ago. They x-ray think about is my root canal falling out. It starts to hurt. What happened? How does it start? How do you know? I just got x-rayed. I just went to the dentist a week ago. They x-rayed and they said it looks good. Oh, you're all good then. I got like four of them. I think mine, my teeth started to break apart. Like I could feel it. Like I could stick my tongue into it. And they still salvaged it. Wow. You know what? Whenever I get anxiety about like future medical shit, I always think they're going to advance you know great point the medicine so much by the time great point that you get there that it's going to be like an easy fix you're gonna go to like a drive-through and they're gonna fix it well even root canal that's one of the things like when i got my root canals the

the endocrine blabopolis was like yeah he's like all the rumor of the feeling of root canal is from like the 60s 70s 80s that's the thing it's not that that's why I wanted to talk about it because it's like a boogeyman but like the boogeyman's dead he's gone we're grubs now can this be a legend a hotel

hot shower oh yeah that's a big time legend I know we're in LA big droughts and the things but i'm in there two three hours just really letting it flow i'll spread the old asshole and get in there i mean i love it because in a hotel like nobody your wife or whatever or partner is not like hey are you all right yeah and uh you I'm in LA. I got a lot of friends and pockets. So it's a lot of socializing. You go back and you just put the phone away and you get in there.

You let it blast you in the face, the genitals, the steam. What kind of showerhead? Do you like the one that's overhead or do you want the one that's at the traditional diagonal? This is like the traditional diagonal. It's a little bit sharp. It's not exactly the way I like it. It's the one that's like there's only like six streams and they're like hardcore like laser so it's not the best but it's very good

i'm at the hotel ziggy over it across from the store great spot nice hotel a lot of action out of there i like movers and shakers i like when it's like a waterfall effect but they also have the mobile one i love the handheld the the handheld put that in your ass it's the only time my assholes ever actually clean yeah because i just put i put it right in there like i oh yeah i you know penetrate the rim and just blast out the pancreas and everything just get it all all cleaned out it's a tough spot to reach do you bidet hot shower are you bidet guy i am when i'm in europe i don't i should get one i've just never gotten one but when i'm in europe i love it and uh

and it's it's insane that it hasn't been more readily available here in the states we're behind on everything but we're still number one yes as i said we're number one i'm like man europe really rules in a lot of ways but it's all one place yeah that's true all right last thing we do a quote of the week chat what's your quote of the week uh usually i do movie quotes but i'm kind of i'm going i'm going with more intellectuals now oscar wilde nice he's good he is good um do you know he was gay i did there are only two tragedies in life one is not getting what one wants and the other is getting it uh he had it i'm gonna do two then he had one quote where he said the tragedy of every man is that they don't change and the

tragedy of every woman is that they do change How do I guess yeah It's almost like the Chris Rock I'm like Well, like I think I think he means guys stay immature and women get more sensible maybe all right They're not women aren't fun is what he's saying And I think he was. And he's a gay guy, so he's covered on it. Yeah. He can say it without, you know, the easy accusation of misogyny.

Yeah. If he's saying women are inferior, I'm behind it. I'm like, yeah, dude. I thought he was talking about their looks. Right. I was like, damn dude, that's hard. All right. My quote of the week is from the movie The Edge with Anthony Hopkins

and Alec Baldwin. Strider, frequent guest of The dude, that's hard. All right, my quote of the week is from the movie The Edge with Anthony Hopkins and Alec Baldwin. Strider, frequent guest of the pod, often references it. What one man can do, another can do. Who do you think's got better dialogue, Sorkin or Mamet? I hate Sorkin. I could see that. I could see that. I hate him. Thank you.

I think he is- Pompous? Just horrendous. fact i watched a few good men on the plane because it's it's on the way i i watched it so many times when i was a kid so it has some but it's some really really bad dialogue and that's like his best bad dialogue and mamut i love i love mamut you're a baseball guy though right yeah moneyball but moneyball he's like a co-writer there's like three writers so he's in there. Steve Zalin was on that one. And there's a couple

moments in there that you're like oh there's Sorkin. But that is that's the best thing with his name on it. I think. I heard a description of Moneyball that is he hates Moneyball. It's like our favorite movie. I love it. I do have beefs. My main beef

is the lack of mentioning barry zito that's his main thing too and mark molder and molder i mean like it's like what they have best friends that's his main three like aces that just aren't mentioned in the book there's no space for it in the movie and they and they just don't um no mention of it also they like they don't win no no so you're like still having right they didn't win no but i've heard someone i heard this described the other day on like that rewatchables podcast they said moneyball is about unhappy men in a room trying to succeed and i was like you know that's the kind of movie i like that's what i'm all about no there's some great things i mean i do i also think um there's things that drag towards the end of the movie. But I think, I love

Brad Pitt, and there's a lot I love. And I love baseball, so it's like, fun. Baseball. Yeah, how can you not be romantic about baseball? What's your legend of the week? Or quote of the week. Quote of the week. I mean, I'm on the spot here, so I'll just say something that, we talked recovery a little bit, and I dropped this in a

meeting the other day, and it got like, ooh. It's a good feeling great feeling I didn't come this far to only come this far oh let's go that's a fun one with showbiz or recovery or spirituality whatever it is is that a jail list original

no no no I have no good quotes original other than like shit in the shit but yeah that's a good one I have no good quotes original other than like, ah, shit in the shoes. You know, I suck, but,

um, yeah, that's a good one. That's a fun one. But I dropped it and people were like, Oh, like you could see people like, like looking at like who, who said that?

I was like, what's up? I remember I was, there's one guy I went to a meeting and he's like, he's like, if you keep doing what you've been doing, you're going to get what you always got. Yeah. That's not, if nothing changes, nothing changes changes nothing changes that's yeah yeah when the same words are

in there on the second part it's a little bit like the rock thing right if nothing changes nothing changes i can explain it's like if your behavior doesn't change your your the results aren't going to change whereas sky's the limit limits the sky there no... I will die on this hill. It doesn't develop the idea any farther. Yeah. It's kind of like... Further. You know, Neil Armstrong fucked up. His sentence doesn't make sense.

Mm-hmm. Because he should have said mankind. He says... I mean, he should have said a man. Sorry. One small step for man. Which means all men anyways. Which means mankind. One giant leap for mankind. He should have said one small step for man which means all men anyway which means mankind one giant leap for mankind he

should have said one small step for a man so why do you think we let that pussy off the hook i don't know he's kind of a bitch for saying that i think i mean somebody should really i think i've heard somebody say that the audio cut out but i'm like i don't think so i think he just misspoke which is a bummer because i would be laying in bed in my 80s being like dude that's my new beef kneels a pose yeah well we don't believe in the moon yeah well it's a moon itself it's a fake alien satellite oh i love that my friend dan belger is a great comic boston comic. He had a thing. He's like, you ever get so high that you think the moon is a gas station? And he's driving.

He's like, this place is going to be huge. It's really funny. That's right. Well, before we go, you said, Louis, when you were talking about the Chris Rock joke, he texted Chris. Did Chris text back? He did text back. And he, I think, like, I don't want to mess up his word,

but he kind of admitted that I had a point. He's like, yeah. He's like, it is just that I think he called it something like an attitude. Yeah. Like, it is a bit that it's like you just hit it and it works. He's like, yeah. He's like, he's not wrong. Right.

And I don't begrudge him. As a teenager, you're like, I got, well, I figured it out. Same with, like, the man on the moon thing. Not man on the moon, but one small step for man. I remember realizing that and being like, wait a second. Well, Chris Rock also said that there's no lactose intolerance in sub-Saharan Africa, but actually there's

the most lactose. Because he said because they don't have much food there, so people can't be choosy. But they didn't have domesticated cows there, so it's actually the highest rate of lactose intolerance. No kidding. So this guy's fucking up left and right yeah yeah no yeah i mean he's a comic it's like somebody had my friend made me laugh one time a comic he was talking about you know a lot of comedians have jokes about rap lyrics being silly and i used to have one too when i first started i had a bit about snoop dogg saying it's two in the morning my mama ain't home

and i was like why is snoop still living at it's two in the morning my mama ain't home and i was like why snoop still living at home doesn't that get in the way of pimping hose and clocking a grip but my friend years later you know my friend was like yeah he's like that's not hard to like he's like these are like teenagers rhyming words to a beat like they might say something a little silly it's like it's not hard to like pick apart a rap lyric right like they're not like they're not like saying like here's what we have to do with uh they're they're still the man putting it out there yeah um and then sorry one more thing i'm just keep adding go baby is some i heard someone do a bit one time about

the um i think it's an easy lyric he's like today was a good day i think that's easy i think it's ice cube oh maybe it's ice cube and he's like i didn't have to use my ak and the guy's like what that's your idea of a good day but i'm like but i think that's the joke he's making yeah he's saying that my life is so extreme yeah yeah not joke but like that's he's making a point is that like in in the hood that's a good day a good day is like a day you don't have to you he's not you're not like i got him yeah that guy's really showing his like the ease of his life by trying to criticize his keepers i'm a huge person like what and lastly sorry i keep adding go baby go louie louie had a

bitter story but i think he told his story on that talking funny about it's a very similar thing a comedian had a bit about like the jetsons where he's like george jetson he's like why is this guy so upset about his job all he does is press one button and then louis had the point like well that's his bit like that's the jetsons writers joke that is a joke on the show. Is that like in the future, you won't have to work. You'll just press a button

and it'll still be horrible. Mind numbing and awful and soul crushing. Like you're acting like you're making an observation about how stupid the show is, but the show is actually smarter than you are. And you're so dumb, they now think you're smarter than the thing. Yeah, yeah.

I think that's where we're at culturally across the board right now. That happens a lot. I tweeted on election day 2016, I was like, Trump is such a narcissist. I bet he votes for himself. And most people got the joke, but a lot of people were like, they all vote for themselves, you fucking idiot.

And I'm like, no, I know that. I don't think that Donald Trump should vote for Hillary Clinton. That would know that. I don't think that Donald Trump should vote for Hillary Clinton. That would be weird. I understand. Anyway, sorry, I said too much. I could see myself being like, it's kind of what you were talking about, what you were terrified of when the flight attendant thought your shirt was Elvis.

Yes, yeah. I could see myself be like, oh, I feel like I should vote for the other person. Right. Just so they don't feel bad. And it's good karma. Yeah, yeah.

It's like the movie Election that happens in the movie Election. Yeah, Chris Klein. He votes for Tracy Flick. Yeah, yeah. That is one of the best movies ever. And none of those actors have ever been better.

Like, that's the best Chris Klein performance, best Reese Witherspoon, best Broderick performance. Yeah, it's really unbelievable. Underrated in that I think it's one of the best. I think Alexander Payne made two of the best movies of all time, Election and Sideways, and then he made a bunch of stuff that I don't know about. Why don't I get Sideways? Why do I just find it to be a mindless bummer? When I like sad movies. I don't know. I feel like we really had something and you just severed it at the very end. Between the root canal and Sideways. I don't know, give it't know any longer. I feel like we really had something, and you just severed it at the very end.

Between the root canal and sideways. I don't know. Give it another try, maybe? I mean, it's really, really brilliant. I'll watch it again. Yeah, it's unbelievably funny. Yeah, we did have some. We were going to leave on a real high note of common ground.

Yeah. No, sideways election, incredible. And then what about his later stuff, like The Descendants? P.U. That's what I say. But, I mean, he made two of the best movies ever. To me, if you make one great movie, you're a great filmmaker or writer. Agreed.

It's hard to do that. Yeah. People shit on Kevin Costner. I'm like, he's amazing in several things. Dude, it's crazy. Waterworld is actually kind of amazing. The Postman is kind of amazing. Like the reach of them is what's incredible.

Like he's swinging for the fences every time. He's a great line and cable guy. He's like, I don't know why everyone hated it. I saw it six times. I loved it. That movie ruled when he's in the satellite screen. You watch Yellowstone? No, I never saw it.

Dude, I love it. You would like it. I should check it out. Yeah, it's good. Costner, good guy. Yeah, great like it. How's your checking out? Yeah, it's good. Costner, good guy. Yeah, great guy. Alright, well, we matched up. We're good now. Yeah, we're back. Alright, well, Joe, thank you so much for coming. We're huge

fans, man. It was an honor. Oh, thanks. Yeah, thrilled. Thanks for having me. I appreciate it. Yeah. Thank you. Oh, and to plug, yeah, yeah. So do you want to plug? Yeah, my latest special is called This Year's Material. It's on YouTube. It's free.

You can go to it. Go to my channel, subscribe. There's another one called I Hate Myself. Watch that also. Don't bother. I mean, subscribe if you want. That's on Comedy Central. I don't care if you subscribe to Comedy Central,

but subscribe to my channel. This Year's Material is the latest one. And if you want to watch my movie, Fourth of July, Louis C. ck and i co-wrote it stars a bunch of comics i think it's good many people do not think it's good but i do no i love them but i yeah you're special and i love it also uh thank you for coming on yeah absolutely this is great thanks you didn't read the reviews did you um i read a couple a couple of them came right to my inbox. Oh, dude. But the National, one of those papers,

a conservative paper, said it was the best movie of the year. Let's go. What was it? Oh, I think it was like the Wall Street Journal. Not like a crazy right-wing paper. Yeah, that's not bad. That's a very reputable one. That's actually my go-to paper. It wasn't like Alex Jones or anything.

Yeah, I think... It was the best movie. No, no, it wasn't like... That's actually my go-to paper. It wasn't like Alex Jones or anything. Yeah, I think... This is the best movie I got. You gotta go see Louis C.K. Yeah, so yeah. One guy thought it was great. Many people thought it was great. I don't want to shit on the movie. I think your specials too are so rewatchable.

Oh, thank you. Yeah, yeah. So they're great. So everyone check it out. And the movie's so funny thank you yeah all right thank you this is great if you need advice these guys are really nice you wanna know what to do where to go when you need someone to guide you Just to have the girls beside you

Going deep Going deep Let's go deep I'm going deep I'm going deep, trying to dig deep.