Going Deep with Chad and JT - EP 268 - Liver King Lies To Chad

Episode Date: December 7, 2022

What up stokers! Strider joined the boys last week just as news broke about Liver King. They discuss that and other things!    Get 25% Off at trueclassic.com/[GO DEEP] Free shipping included on purc...hases over $100   Right now, Dad Grass is offering our listeners 20% off your first order when you go to DADGRASS.COM/GODEEP   Visit ATHLETIC GREENS.com/GODEEP for a FREE 1 year supply of Vitamin D AND 5 FREE travel packs with your first purchase

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Make sure you stick around and watch the episode. But first, we're also brought to you by the legends at Manscaped. Manscaped, thank you so much for keeping our trims, for looking after our hogs, for making sure that our dinks are looking fresh and clean because ho, ho, ho, the holiday season is here and your balls have pubes, so make sure you trim them. Get 20% off and free shipping with the code godeep at manscaped.com.
Starting point is 00:00:22 That's 20% off with free shipping at manscaped.com and use code godeep. Manscaped your jinger jingle balls ready for the holidays what up all right let's start the show all right let's squeeze the tip and let's flick the bean what's up stokers of stoke nation this is chad croaker coming in with the going deep with chad jt podcast i'm here with my compadre jean thomas what up boom clap stokers and we're here with the empresario of erections strider wilson oh dude very legit moniker dude appreciate the hell out of that thanks dude it came you know what i didn't even think about that beforehand it just came straight
Starting point is 00:01:12 to my dome it was so good i thought you did i thought you wrote it because you drove over i was like that was a drive over that's how good that was dude no i yeah that one you know i you know i saw you and you're just like you know how people call people boners in a negative way? I think of you as a boner in the best way possible. Thank you. A boner when you want one. A boner for when the time is right. A boner that makes life.
Starting point is 00:01:36 Thank you. The boner that made Michael Jordan. Fuck yeah, dude. Michael Jordan came from a boner, dude. That's true. I thought that. That's crazy, dude. Michael Jordan came from a boner, dude. That's true. That's crazy, dude. He came from a boner. His sperm came out with the Michael Jordan flying body.
Starting point is 00:01:55 It was like a ball first and that big mitt he's got and shot straight through the female reproductive system. Crazy, man. Fallopian tubes. You do a slam dunk into one of those the whole nine then you alley-oop the ovaries fucking yeah dude deja peels got that great joke about seeing his kid doing he's like man he holds up like a macaroni necklace he's like my kid made this it's like that look over my kid I'm like you came from my balls do you have that with kids like a lot of your friends now have kids like when you see their kids do you does it blow your mind how much they've grown or
Starting point is 00:02:43 anything like that or just about seeing your friend's kids it's kind of normalized now because most of them have them i don't know everyone feels like a dad there's no one who like shocks me that there's maybe one or two of them where i'm like i can't believe you're a dad but for the most part i'm like yeah you've settled into your dad energy well and i most of the guys we grew up with they they looked like they were everyone seemed like on the trajectory to be a father there wasn't a lot of uh it's funny now where people are like you know you don't have to have kids and like a lot of people don't want to have kids that wasn't really even on anyone's radar in orange county where we like yeah no even the most wild person was like yeah i want to have three kids and a house and totally a suburban absolutely dude maybe an expedition i might mix it up might be a ford but yeah dude it is pretty wild and a lot of the dude a lot of our bros who are dads are jacked
Starting point is 00:03:46 yeah they're ripped bro i can't talk about far enough dude i was thinking about that today yeah he's a bad fighter though but i was thinking about that today i was thinking about that today like do you think all the dads will stay jacked thinking about that today like do you think all the dads will stay jacked a father time always wins in the end but i feel like yeah they're gonna stay jacked for a while yeah because we're on our mid 30s it should be slipping at this point yeah your testosterone goes down i've been thinking about taking peptides what's that they're like the new rage i i got a lot of mixed feedback on social media as to whether they work or not but andrew huberman who's like the doctor du jour for talking about like uh
Starting point is 00:04:31 optimization and getting your body right like he makes the rounds on rogan and and all the podcasts um he he takes them and talks about them often and so there's two the two main ones that he was pitching were sirmarillin and bcp 157 you check that jake and let me know if i got those right but basically it just like uh it's a submarine it encourages uh like human growth hormone production and you can take one there's one for tanning there's a there's a peptide for town uh tanning you take a shot of it and then you go out in the sun you get like the best tan you've ever had whoa that's awesome does it protect you from sunburn i don't know my i think my uncle was taking it back in the day because he was a chemist and he
Starting point is 00:05:13 fucked around with shit and uh he was like way too tan like my dad would always be like you look moroccan and uh it was it was jarring but yeah they that's like the new rate because they don't they might not have as much uh long-term uh negative impact as uh like taking testosterone or straight hgh you're right on with that exactly everything you said the ghrp6 and then the serum alone and they're both uh peptides anti-amino acids yeah so i guess a peptide's a full amino acid chain. You know, like you take aminos for supplements, that's forever. But now these are like the full chain. Let's go, dude. You're getting the full brick, bro.
Starting point is 00:05:52 Let's fucking go, dude. And you gotta inject it, though? For the most part. A lot of people take, like there's collagen peptides in this. I think some of them are like pill form, but the ones I'm talking about I think are shots. Let's go's just live forever baby could you give yourself a shot have you done that i did yeah when i did hgh when i was like 19 it was a little little needle but i'd i'd grip some belly fat and stick it in myself yeah you felt kind of cool afterwards you felt like a heroin
Starting point is 00:06:21 addict i'd like even though i didn't get the heroin effect of like oh every time i shot it i go ah really like i was feeling it yeah just gotta go out to your garage just do it in your garage feel a little gritty and i'd like laid out i'd tie myself off even though i didn't need to but yeah i could shoot myself for sure we had a friend who took a testosterone shot in the butt though he got like a bundle of tea that I guess like released, like he, he just got one shot. And I think the way he explained it to me was that it like,
Starting point is 00:06:50 it's slowly, uh, went into your system. So you only had to, you didn't have to get like weekly recurring hits and, uh, it burst and it fucked him up. Whoa.
Starting point is 00:07:03 Yeah. He got fucked up, dude. he's a good looking dude too successful he pulls did not seem necessary but you know everyone's always looking for that edge exactly how'd it fuck him up i think he got like an infection from it really something went sideways and he he thought he had like a nasty flu but it was the the tea bubble burst and he had it uh wrecking his body damn no free lunch but maybe there is maybe there's a more free lunch champions pay the price a relatively cheap free lunch fuck dude have you ever had your tea tested yeah was it lower yeah but i think everyone's low i
Starting point is 00:07:47 heard that scale's not super accurate i heard all those systems are arbitrary like 2020 vision they're all like they just picked a guy i can have one see as good as curtis like temperature right isn't it i've heard the the standard temperature is kind of arbitrary like Like some people run hot, some people run cold. Oh, really? So the 98.7 thing is kind of just a number that they were like, that feels right. Yeah, 98.6 is the average temperature of a human body.
Starting point is 00:08:20 Who the fuck knows? I run 97, bro. You run chilled. I was on TikTok and, and you know it's like motivational business guys like that one guy sent you that one time to gold you know they're just bragging they're like they just have a camera in their office and they're just telling people about business he's like he's like yeah i have a heart rate of 50 i am just you know i'm 58 years old and i'm just running cool and everyone's like you'd be dead but he's just in his office
Starting point is 00:08:46 like yeah I got a heart rate of 50 yeah you want that low resting heart rate yeah dude cause that means your heart's going ooh
Starting point is 00:08:52 Pele dude that'd be cool frickin who's the famous jogger fuckin the guy from Oregon Steve Prefontaine Prefontaine
Starting point is 00:09:01 healthy heart he had a big one he's a mile ran the 5 thousand or whatever it was. 1,500. Isn't that crazy? He was like a sports icon as a runner. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:09:11 And I think it was like middle distance. Exactly. Not a fun event to watch. No. Not the mile. Not the premier. No, no, no. And it's not like the 100 meter sprint where you're like, whoa.
Starting point is 00:09:22 You know, where it's like high octane. But I guess he just brought like a rock and roll balls to the wall energy to it. Cause he said like, you can beat me, but I'm going to make you bleed. And like the Phil Knight in his book, just like wraps it like that guy's death hit him harder than almost anything. It's badass. And he did a lot for amateur athletes. That was at a time where like, you could be a pro in Europe and go to the Olympics. But if you were a pro in the States, you couldn't go to the Olympics.
Starting point is 00:09:47 It was fucked just because the NCAA wanted money or whoever was regulating it. And then he would throw his own events because he was a badass runner. He's like, he'd invite like the biggest dude from like Norway or fucking wherever the good runner was from. He'd be like, dude, let's just come over.
Starting point is 00:09:59 Let's run and we'll make our own money. And then they still disqualified him from doing it. But he ended up dying. So yeah. How did he die? Car accident. Oh really? Before he got another crack at the Olympics.
Starting point is 00:10:10 I think he was at Munich. He was. Yeah. And he got fourth. He was only 24 years old too. Really? Yeah. Which is crazy.
Starting point is 00:10:17 Wow. And I feel like runners can get better as they age a little bit. It's not as reliant on like that fast Twitch. Yeah. Especially that style, that cross country. I think it's like three miles. It's bad's a tough sport man sign up for that the least it's punishment that sport is what punishment is just go and do it just long distance running in
Starting point is 00:10:35 general yeah dude i've tried to do that i've tried to do that with my brother just i just do sprints because you can just bang them out it's 20 minutes and you're done yeah i didn't like hills to go up hills are good too yeah like like long drawn out i i admire anyone who does it yeah and you know i don't know if you get the same runner's high from sprints that you do from but i think running for you know an hour straight or whatever it seems like that's a cool high you can achieve but it's just staying with that is fucking that i admire anyone who can stay with that austin does that yeah you get into a good headspace right like their brain goes i've gotten the runners high before but it's too hard on my hips i can't do it as a regular practice
Starting point is 00:11:17 yeah it's really grueling on the joints and stuff i i think cycling i could do cycling i think that'd be more fun yeah dude would you be a butt dart would you be one of those dudes on the road bro can you do that I mean I've disrespected them so much on the pod do you think they'd accept me into the community
Starting point is 00:11:30 I don't know and then I I heard it's just tough on the taint it's gotta be like but like for real though like hurts your fertility
Starting point is 00:11:39 I mean you look at those shorts that they wear there's like tons of padding there and everything yeah and then like the seat there's something with the seat when you have pressure on the taint like that, it hurts your sperm count.
Starting point is 00:11:51 According to, you know, Sky Rick. It sounds like something a jack dude would say to like find a smart way to pick on pussies. He's actually the top surfer in Newport who hates the butt darts. Yeah, exactly. OC Insta News. He's actually the top surfer in Newport who hates the butt darts. Yeah, exactly, dude. OC Insta News.
Starting point is 00:12:10 Those outfits are funny. One time my brother was at Ross's house, and his dad is a strong warrior man, and he was in full biking regalia. And then he went into their gym and got into a stationary bike he had like the post office one the fucking bottle cap rear view mirror dude yeah he was in full gear dude do you remember lance armstrong's like aerodynamic helmet oh yeah it looked like it was like made out of goo because it had like a long tail yeah dude speaking of all this lance armstrong famous uh steroid abuser um how are you feeling about the liver king situation betrayed bro
Starting point is 00:12:54 first when i first heard about it i was like psyop you know that's just big impossible burger just trying to take him down like i know i know liver king's a good guy he's natty you know he lifts he eats up but now you know the truth is out there and um and it was more plates more dates who broke the story right yeah yeah yeah i love that derrick you know my my real thoughts on it are like am i surprised no is anyone surprised insane no do i care honestly no i think the only lame thing about it was that he was like blatantly lying to his audience in like making these videos of like like i'm gonna address the steroid rumors they make some like corny joke and you know it was kind of like tiptoeing around it but he's basically lying about it which is like kind of annoying it's like it's like dude you're an influencer you know it's like he's
Starting point is 00:13:48 trying to sell fucking uh his liver king bar and his supplements and stuff it's like just like be honest about it like who cares um and like i i wasn't you know i never i never ate liver like that's that type of physique is not something i desire you enjoyed the theater of it i enjoyed the theater i think he's hilarious so like yeah um but i i think in in the eyes of like the people who were hurt by it is lame that he lied about it but um yeah people are hurt right yeah of the catholics right so many testicles i thought exactly people eating balls dude and those people were expecting to be like as yoked and taught as he was from that i don't know i mean to be honest if you were eating testicles thinking you could get as yoked as that you're a fucking idiot so you probably deserve to be offended and crying about it for taking him so harsh truth yeah yeah i mean i don't
Starting point is 00:14:45 know he's a character i don't know so but so like did i in the email that i saw and i haven't read up really deep on it he was there's early emails of him before he became like a phenomenon right and he's like hey i have a plan like i want to sell this lifestyle i want to grow my social media i want to and then i want to sell products based off of all to grow my social media. I want to, and then I want to sell products based off of all of that. Yeah. I need to get on a regiment of. I haven't looked into,
Starting point is 00:15:12 I haven't read any of this stuff. I think I saw an email that suggested that, that basically he, he kind of saw the writing on the wall. He's like, dude, if I amp up my physique and I create this whole like culture around it, I can make like boo coop bucks.
Starting point is 00:15:24 Yeah. Which is crazy that he was able to achieve it. It's smart. That's the thing too. It's like I'm still impressed by Lance Armstrong and by the liver king. Like what they were able to do. I know they cheated to get there. I don't even know why I put in quotes.
Starting point is 00:15:37 They full on cheated. But well, liver king's not really playing a sport. But they cheated. But it's like it's still a fucking. Like and I never admired those people really yeah lance armstrong a little bit but i always thought he was probably guilty um but i think but all those guys were guilty like 20 of the bikers who finished in like the top 25 of the tour de france and like oh seven got busted maybe trying to keep up with him but they were all doing like blood doping and all sorts of shit but like i still yeah i guess there's just a part of me that still marvels at it where i'm like whoa way to go
Starting point is 00:16:08 yeah like you got there dude totally i mean it's it's not like he doesn't work hard i mean he's fucking he he you see the video he's working out every day and the fact that he produced all that content and stuff like that that's a full-time job and he owns these supplement companies like that takes effort and planning and yeah uh i'm interested to see where he goes from here it's always the cover-up is worse than the lie like with lance armstrong the worst part was like he ruined other people's lives yeah trying to keep his rep clean like he destroyed his teammates he would like go he was such a good liar he would go into interviews and be like talking about his teammates wife who was accusing him of shit he'd be like she's a fucking liar she's a horrible person she's trying to ruin the life and she's trying to stop me from helping other people who have had cancer yeah and everybody would be like
Starting point is 00:16:59 go lance fuck that lady yeah and you're like all right dude that's fuck that's like worse than doing steroids is like the lying on top of it but but yeah the using testosterone and stuff i'm like whatever you want to do yeah yeah i think it's just like thinking about it it's like i mean honestly i don't know what his physique would look like if he hadn't taken that stuff but i mean i think to me the sort of the novelty of this guy just being shirtless eating raw liver was kind of like it's a fun character no he needed to be that jack you think so yeah absolutely you don't think he could be like pretty ripped and be doing that he wouldn't have got the spots on like impossible or whatever like he had to be like out of his mind yo he had to be out of his mind because he's shirtless in every interview the physique was a a big selling point yeah and same with the rock like i don't know if it works
Starting point is 00:17:52 for the rock if he's right you know just a in shape guy yeah he kind of has to look like a superhero yeah i think uh you know it's interesting He's like posted stories too of like him. He's basically like tiptoeing around it. He's like, I just want to say thanks for all the support from the primals. And it's like, what, dude? And then he's like, today I'm eating a chicken heart and like six whole rotisserie chickens. And then he's like like and then i'm having
Starting point is 00:18:26 a liver king bar and my supplement i'm like you're still hawking your shit oh this is post this is like day of wow day of and you know like it it was like it was hours after the whole like twitter so you know he you know he knew um yeah his brain must have broke but you guys have had uh interactions right i've dm'd him yeah but he's dm'd me back yeah dude that's rad if it's actually him i don't know are you gonna are you gonna send him anything like okay i hope you're holding up dude dude send him you say you don't believe it dude yeah i know everyone else is lying yeah they're all liars did i still believe you see what happens thanks glad to have you in my corner brother and then a photo of me like eating some nuts just like king i'm still eating these nuts i'll never stop still we're still waiting
Starting point is 00:19:14 for the day when i can look just like you i'm leaving it till the end if i didn't have liver i know i can look just like you um yeah there's a really good steroid documentary called Bigger, Stronger, Faster. Yeah. And they talk about like how after baseball got in trouble for so many of their athletes being on steroids, that Congress had a hearing
Starting point is 00:19:35 and they spent more days on steroids and baseball than they did on like energy crisis, finance reform, and like the Iraq war combined. Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah so it is weird how fascinated we are by all that stuff but he makes an interesting argument in it where he's like well tiger wood's got lasik surgery to make his eyesight like almost better than uh whatever's naturally achievable like should that be allowed in golf or uh like musicians get nervous before
Starting point is 00:20:03 like they do orchestra auditions so they'll take beta blockers right like should that not be allowed because that gives you it's it's it's a weird thing where fighter pilots do yeah they take other countries be like not fair you can't take those f-22s on amphetamines just regular f-22s i i mean i don't i don't know i it's tough for me to like care about that stuff i think but why do you think people are so fascinated but why do you think it like becomes such a do you think it's just the cheating people feel cheated i think it's too i think we want to believe that it's possible yeah through just dedication you know and then and because of that desire to believe in something that's like super
Starting point is 00:20:46 we uh it makes the people who are occupying that role unable to be honest about it and then it becomes fascinating because they're not telling you the truth yeah like the rocker like chris hemsworth where it's like they're probably sauced out of their minds right i like that with actors i like it i'm like get after it baby dude you know but then people get mad at hemsworth because he sells a uh he has an app for weightlifting and and like the suggestion is like you'll have my body yeah and he's got great genetics too like hemsworth's a tank yeah but uh they're like you can't sell stuff but but like you said most people you can't really think that the app alone is gonna give you chris hemsworth's body yeah if you're duped by that like yeah come on like the
Starting point is 00:21:31 bow flex machine is gonna make me chuck norris dude like the thing that i'm gonna fold up and put under my bed that i can't even get out from under my bed it's gonna turn me into chuck norris yeah believing in the bow flex i'm gonna be a walker texas Texas Ranger after I take this Bowflex out. Fuck no, dude. I've been taking the Kumail Nanjiani supplement for a year. Bro, get me on that, dude. Right. Yeah, he hasn't.
Starting point is 00:21:53 I don't know if he's been honest about it. And he was definitely. Dude. Yeah. Well, yeah, because his transformation, it's not like he was starting where the rock was from like a D1 football player. Yeah. You know, and Simone parents who are wrestlers. Look at that.
Starting point is 00:22:10 Yeah, his body's insane. Can you imagine? So ripped. Dude, I hope there's a trend where more comedians start doing this. Like John Mulaney comes out and he's just fucking yoked. Dude, Mulaney gets ripped. Yeah, dude. Yeah, he's jacked. Tony Hinchcliffe.
Starting point is 00:22:22 He's got an incredible body yeah Mulaney's shoulders don't look like they could support that much rock but I know you start doing cleans and stuff hey you start eating liver getting on some steroids with his voice
Starting point is 00:22:38 can anyone do Mulaney well here's the thing so I'm jacked now. And when people say you're jacked. Yeah, it's a sad day. It's a dark day in America. You know, it's also a sad different note, but today we're recording.
Starting point is 00:22:56 I don't know when this comes out, but Paul Walker passed today. This is the anniversary. I remember that day. You know, I was flying back from visiting my mom i think it was my mom because she had moved to santa fe and i got a text from one of my college buddies and i was just it was brutal yeah and i just i literally i went back home to my apartment i lived in hollywood at the time went to my apartment in I lived in Hollywood at the time. Went to my apartment in Hollywood,
Starting point is 00:23:26 poured myself a glass of red, and watched the movie. It was weird. It was like one of those times where that, and I'm trying to think of some others, but it's where you just don't think it's ever possible. You hear about it, and you're just like, what? It's true.
Starting point is 00:23:42 Yeah, he seemed like he would be in constant good health yeah well past any of our expiration dates yeah trying to think of other times where it's andy irons that came as a shock oh yeah but he he had issues right he's heroin yeah but that that like came out later it wasn't like i mean it was like kind of like yeah i guess that was a little bit more kind of you would see interviews and stuff where you're like something's off like he's a little too sweaty or something like that but um it wasn't so it all kind of came out later it wasn't so like there were like articles about it like andy iron says drug issues it's it was pretty covered up it's hard to believe that with a pro surfer to you just assume Like very holistic health with all those folks. Yeah, he's my age. He was my age. Really? Yeah
Starting point is 00:24:32 Wow, he was older. Yeah, or he was he was a your age when he passed or your exact age Period he was my age when he passed. Oh I thought about my turn 32 Yeah, it's Hollywoodllywood baby keep that to yourself yeah i turned 25 we'll edit that out time wait can we talk about the other thing supplement related yeah that we were talking about which one the propige oh yeah i haven't taken it yet oh no no i talked to my brothers and um and i talked to everyone was very firmly against it. Oh, really?
Starting point is 00:25:07 Yeah. That makes sense. What are the negatives? They just said don't. Because of the fertility stuff? Yeah. And I don't know. I'm going to get my swimmers checked out in like a week or two, so I'll let you know how it goes.
Starting point is 00:25:25 Yeah. I mean, I don't, I was scared to take it.immers checked out in like a week or two. So I'll let you know how it goes. Yeah. I mean, I don't, I was scared to take it. I don't even have it yet. It's still at the pharmacy, but if you don't feel comfortable, don't do it.
Starting point is 00:25:31 I went to the dermatologist. I was like, this is how my harem lines always been. And like looking at my brothers and stuff. And like, they're like, it's, uh,
Starting point is 00:25:41 they still have all their hair. Yeah. And she's like and she's like, she's like, you know, I don't see any recession, but there's, might be some thinning starting. So she's like,
Starting point is 00:25:54 you know, she's like, I could prescribe it to you, you know. So I was kind of like, maybe I'll just get it to have it. But I could also just take like the Rogaine foam. I don't know. Dude, peptides.
Starting point is 00:26:05 Peptides? Peptides, dude. Yeah, peptides. Are supposed to help with hair growth. Dude, maybe I'll just take like the Rogaine foam. I don't know. Dude, peptides. Peptides? Dude, yeah, peptides. Are supposed to help with hair growth. Dude, maybe I'll just take peptides. People are telling me they're getting full heads of hair. The one thing that people are keeping an eye on with peptides is, and it's supposed to help with the muscle recovery. That was a big reason I wanted to take it,
Starting point is 00:26:17 just because my low back's been jacked. But more, I just want to be jacked. Correct. Is that it makes you you grow but it makes other things grow like cancer cells that's the uh that's the scary thing that they don't know about yet because they haven't had like long-range studies on it yeah but then i don't know dude you look like sly stallone you know he's sauce to the gills he's like 75. he looks weird but he kind of looks incredible yeah yeah he looks
Starting point is 00:26:45 interesting like he's still interesting and that's good for his business he looks virile though yeah he was always kind of an odd looking guy though dude to be able to stay that's my last impression dude one time at the hotel slice alone came in it was this corporate like event getting out and there was a fully grown man 41 years old and he saw a slide get out of his car he's walking in his suit like this and i was just standing there just watching this all develop and i saw this guy get stoked on seeing slides like oh didn't he like he's by himself he looks around and he sees he goes rocky rocky and celeste just fucking power walks straight by him said absolutely nothing dude and then the guy put his hand down and i was like can i get your parking
Starting point is 00:27:40 ticket he's like yes it was an amazing moment that guy just stared off for the next 10 minutes yep yep just into the abyss and then i brought his car up he stepped in front of it dead now yeah dude who uh who of all the celebrities you've seen come in who has the i know you've talked about this one guy but who do you think has the most aggressive like fearsome walk whoa that's a great question dude like a good ass power oh leo leo dicaprio has the most amazing strut really ever seen oh dude i wish i was could stand but the whole it's like his whole left side his whole arm is just on this pivot it's an amazing strut nice oh yeah dude i saw him come in with a model one time on a vespa oh yeah that's pretty solid right there yeah like he's walking a dog the whole time looks like mr rogers there interesting little steve martin mr rogers action he's he looks very uh like bouncy and happy and
Starting point is 00:28:38 it looks like that's from a role right there or something but all his movies are sad yeah he's ever done a happy movie no he's been stoked really you don't really get the the medal for that right true what's a happy movie leo's been in no he's never really been in a romance like a light one yep what's the happiest movie the catch me if you can has happy moments but it's a very melancholy movie con artist it's a kid without a home and who has to lie to feel accepted god damn he's good at it though um even that basketball movie that he did really early on oh dude that's one of the most sad like art house bro ever dude such a bummer watching that dude i don't know if i've ever been more i saw the great gatsby
Starting point is 00:29:19 man that really just deflated my boner i was so excited for that yeah that was a hunk of junk the music ripped it was weird that they did hip-hop for it but like if you listen to the Man, that really just deflated my boner. I was so excited for that. Yeah, that was a hunk of junk. The music ripped. It was weird that they did hip hop for it, but if you listen to the soundtrack without the movie, you're like, this rips. Is that that one Fergie song? What was that one? Get This Party Started or something?
Starting point is 00:29:35 Yeah. Baz Luhrmann, right? Is that Baz Luhrmann? Yeah, I wanted to say. This guy makes bangers, dude. Dude, the Elvis movie's so bad, bro. It's so bad. Bro.
Starting point is 00:29:41 Cliff notes. Exactly. It's not a movie. It's just boom, boom, boom, boom's not a movie just just boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom and then tom hanks drops his accent halfway through like not even like halfway through the first 10 minutes was out of control horrendous and like you don't he's so elvis is so dumb in that movie i stopped feeling bad for him i was like i was like you deserve to get ripped off like you can't stand up for yourself you don't know how to like totally
Starting point is 00:30:04 read like a financial like i mean i get you Like you can't stand up for yourself. You don't know how to like read like a financial. Like, I mean, I get, you know, you're an artist and you're sensitive, but if it's happening for 25 years, like at some point, bro, wise up. Totally, dude. He would buy Lipper King stuff and believe it, dude. Well, yeah, cause that was his,
Starting point is 00:30:18 that's how he got hooked on barbiturates, right? Is because he thought if a drug was prescribed, he didn't do any drugs but he felt like if a doctor prescribes a drug it must be okay for you right and uh yeah it's a trust not necessarily how it goes but you fact check me on that dude your mama said i can't uh mama i could just have the liver hips liver mama my hips. The liver. Mama. I'm going to set this room on fire. You imagine Elvis and fucking Sly talking to each other. Mama.
Starting point is 00:30:49 Mama. Mama. Mama. Mama. The waiter's like, what the fuck do you want? Two burgers? People do like, it is weird that like a lot of big iconic stars are weird in how they speak.
Starting point is 00:31:03 True. Like Brando, bizarre voice. Yeah brando bizarre voice yeah very bizarre way of speaking gosling kind of sounds weird when he talks tom hardy sounds weird when he's obnoxious but i think that that might help them with their acting is making them kind of stand out and be a little more yeah make all the other parts come through like signature voice it's like they really it's hollywood you gotta make you gotta make a choice dude what's gonna make you stand out in that room you know yeah they have classes like this you can pay to go to classes in hollywood how to audition for commercials and dudes will walk out and they'll be like the audition room
Starting point is 00:31:36 is war it is everyone in there is your enemy make your choice who are you what is your version of it you need to take a chainsaw to the script that is your job as the actor and they're like dead serious yeah when it takes confidence to stick with a voice that doesn't feel like there's a traditional uh like role for it like i saw a lot of handsome dudes in acting class especially handsome gay dudes and they would talk in a straight voice for all of class and they were working on like their straight voice but when you would watch them they lost whatever magic made them unique because you're like oh you're trying to be someone else yeah and
Starting point is 00:32:14 i know that's you know the bad fortune and and the you know uh bad representation that there's not more roles for them to be themselves but i was like no dude you gotta be you because that's like where you're at your best and you trying to sound like matt leblanc just feels like empty yeah there's very much if you go to the whole foods on like santa monica and fairfax it's like you'll there's that actor type which is very much like the same kind of t-shirt and just same haircut and just sort of like i don't know they're very uh you can you can spot an actor so easily yeah especially in la yeah everyone's the the fight my favorite story is you talking about shia labeouf walking into sweet greens dude yeah tender greens bro i saw him coming down the street marauding i was like i didn't didn't know it was him. I looked and I was like
Starting point is 00:33:10 This fucking guy's scary and he was like walking straight at me and I was like this fucking guy could fuck anybody up Yeah, and then he got like 10 feet from me. I was like that's Shia LaBeouf And now he's got the voice to match, you know his voice gets deeper every time he gets me to You know, I mean that girl she taught me things about pain you know things that i don't know if i'll ever get retribution from but the retribution comes from you know having integrity from your toe to your forehead just being in line with how you treat somebody i'm like did your disney kid can you say that's gonna be what's gonna be and then he was john berthnal interviewing him who also has a fake voice and john berthnal was like
Starting point is 00:33:49 i was like look man i just appreciate you give me a space where i can talk about my shit you know and be real because there's not a lot of real place to do that but i'm sorry man i didn't mean to knock off your intro and then berthnal was like hey man it's gonna be what's gonna be it's gonna be what's gonna be it was like watching the thin red line which i watched and it's very good oh dude i liked it bro no dude it's beautiful it ruined my day yeah it's beautiful yeah that opening line i saw i saw the death in her it was gray i was afraid to touch it when he's in the village yeah yeah you didn't you didn't find you didn't the village? Yeah. Yeah. You didn't find that? You didn't find it?
Starting point is 00:34:27 It didn't find you? I've seen the movie three times. Brother man. Three times. That didn't find you? You've seen it three times? Mm-hmm. Fucking love a war movie, don't you, dude?
Starting point is 00:34:34 And even one that I don't like. But you know what, dude? We should address it now. Some of the hangups people had. Oh, yeah. What's going on? So most people did agree with you that Schindler's List is a war movie yeah which is like it which is insane it takes place during a war okay hey the people want what the people want the people want schindler's list but is is is black hawk
Starting point is 00:34:55 down is that a war movie or is that a conflict it's conflict yeah no i would agree but i mean you know like that's it's it's really wild but did you even say you're like what the fuck's even gonna be a war movie when we're done doing this like everything's eliminated dude like it's just braveheart at this point it's like but even that it's like some people don't think braveheart and then greg was saying he didn't think pat was a war movie he thought it was a biopic but it's like it's a war biopic yeah exactly it's like it's about a general during a war like it would be like maybe it's during peacetime maybe not i don't know yeah i think i think if there's battle with soldiers it's a war movie i don't think it has to that's a good criteria during a specific war there are war scenes there's war scenes in patent you have a tank scene
Starting point is 00:35:34 you have schindler's list i don't know if they cut to a war scene or any sort of i mean even bridge over river quiet which is like on every list like it's a pow movie like it's like it takes place in that camp. They do an infiltration scene later. I think you're right. Those are all war movies. They should actually remake River Quiet. Schindler's List, beautiful movie.
Starting point is 00:35:52 It's a beautiful movie, but the pianist takes place. This fucking apartment gets blown up. That shit's crazy. On top of that, did you guys see the there's the iranian protests and stuff and then yeah apparently the soccer players from the iranian team like spoke out against the government and the government was basically like if you lose to the usa like we're gonna torture your families and which i was like everyone's cheering no way that's that's that what they said i thought it was that's true i you almost want to root for iran because you're like the consequences for our team are like
Starting point is 00:36:28 zero no one cares about soccer here yeah the women are better than you it's like we already know yeah dude i was like watching him cheer i was like yeah you know but i was also sort of like in the back of my mind i was like i was like i don't. I wouldn't be cheering these guys' faces. Yeah, one note on that is a fan. Well, actually, he wasn't a fan, but he was an Iranian guy who celebrated the United States win. The government went and shot him in the head. Really? That night, yeah.
Starting point is 00:36:57 Really? It's just now coming out on the news. I actually read it on the way here, yeah. Wow. Yeah, so. That's the thing, dude. When I was watching that and when people were really stoked for the USA, usa i was kind of like what about those guys are these things true i'm like dude like yeah i was just wondering i'm like i don't know is that this is like the two escobars
Starting point is 00:37:14 thing i'm like i do have to say though with iran maybe they do seem like they uh are a little mean if things don't go their way this is on the government this is on a bunch of sites the guardian tmz new york post dude honestly i trust tmz more than any of those tmz always gets it if things don't go their way. The government, I mean. This is on a bunch of sites. The Guardian, TMZ, New York Post. Dude, honestly, I trust TMZ more than any of those. TMZ always gets it right. And they don't have an agenda. TMZ is just like, we're first. Yeah, exactly.
Starting point is 00:37:36 We got the crazy shit first. There's actually Twitter videos of the guy sitting in his car bleeding out of his head, too. Like someone passed by after he was shot. So I don't know. That could be fake as well. Who knows? I mean, I don't know. Yeah, who's the guy that shot him? Yeah, it's crazy. Dude. Who knows dude fucking what's his name's coming back to if we're getting into the juice Deshaun Watson's coming back. Yep. That's crazy They said ten of the ladies he assaulted are gonna be at at the game. Hey, I'm worried about them at the game Yeah with other fans that is true i was a
Starting point is 00:38:05 little nervous but i hope they're in a box because if they're in the regular stands uh yeah people are maniacs totally it's very brave but i was like it got my heart going a little bit where i was like fuck dude i'm sure they'll have they'll probably have security and stuff like that yeah that is wild he's coming back okay so his thing was he would hire a massage therapist and then he would force them to blow him and give him hand jobs and shit like that pretty much yeah i think that's what it was like have it like a hand towel dong out vibe it out get too pushy but even having your penis out when someone doesn't want you to have your penis out. Not okay.
Starting point is 00:38:47 I've never gotten aroused during a massage. No, I don't even like getting massages. Yeah. Why don't you tell the story about when you were in China and you got your disaster. I went there in China, I was visiting with my host family there and they're like, dude,
Starting point is 00:39:01 let's take you to the Chinese bath house, dude. Get you a nice massage. It's like, fuck, but it's culture. I was like, all right, went in Rome, let's take you to the chinese bathhouse dude get you a nice massage it's like fuck but it's culture i was like all right when in rome let's go went and did it it was a body scrub and i got there's two fucking dudes who cruised out wearing jerseys and they just fucking put two fucking super hard coarse like dishwasher gloves like these scrape shit off of a cast iron skillet with and proceeded to rub the fuck out of my entire body it hurt so bad it burnt it burnt my whole body it was like you fucking dive on a gym floor and you know immediately stop that experience on my whole body on my grundle they
Starting point is 00:39:35 got on the fucking sides of my butthole they applied it to your taint rubbed it so hard on my taint oh my god but so did you you're a tough dude did you suffer without like making noise dude sat there no noise sweating sweating so hot my body was so warm i was sweating i was getting nauseous and this kid sitting next to me that's the another weird part i was over 18 at this time the kid that was hosting me was like 16 but we're both butt naked next to each other he's enjoying this dude he's sitting down this is good good right and so out of like uh like guest obligation you pretended to enjoy it yeah exactly they're like oh you guys can go back a different day if you want i was like no i'm good i'm good i'm great was there any benefits to your skin after i think actually i was pretty i probably
Starting point is 00:40:20 looked pretty good i probably looked pretty fucking exfoliated were you red after i was so red it was still the sun was out when i walked outside i was expecting it to be night for some reason it was yeah bro i was so red and how how long did that last i think i woke up the next day i was okay okay yeah but the whole right that whole day that whole day i was red as fuck was there anything you gleaned from the chinese culture where in the race to be the dominant nation between us and them, were you ever like, oh, they've got an edge
Starting point is 00:40:50 because of the way they handle XYZ? I would say where I was not really, maybe in Beijing, like did you go to the Beijing airport? You're like, whoa, dude, like this feels like the future. Like you like walk around that airport.
Starting point is 00:41:04 You're like, dude, there's not a fucking speck of dirt anywhere. Then you go like whoa dude like this feels like the future like you like walk around that airport you're like dude there's not a fucking speck of dirt anywhere then you go like anywhere like the street around that and it's fucking nasty dude so it's just all like that's like what they did during the olympics where it was like the most beautiful spectacle you've ever seen but they said if you just turn the camera 180 it was like human hardship at its highest degree dude fully and i was there a year after the olympics that was exactly when i was there and dude uh yeah so fucking gnarly and like the custom of taking your shoes off inside makes total sense the street's disgusting uh everyone's like
Starting point is 00:41:35 eating out in the streets and stuff and like old ladies will hawk loogies dude just fucking so gnarly i remember seeing this old lady the same old lady every time dude i'd come up from these stairs from the subway let's just hawk a fucking loogie dude i was like that's so gnarly i remember seeing this old lady the same old lady every time dude i'd come up from these stairs from the subway i was just like a fucking loogie dude i was like that's so gnarly that's badass it was kind of badass dude there's a hot loogie that fire doc american factory where they try to do a hybrid like chinese american factory when the chinese like uh like factory managers are describing to the they're like uh fellow china people how to handle americans are like americans are fat lazy donkeys who all think they're special and basically like you know our factory people work really hard but when you see it in comparison
Starting point is 00:42:19 to a chinese factory it's like not even close because i don't think they have like the individualism that makes us great at so many things. Like I think that's why our art rips. They don't have that as like deeply held. Yeah, exactly. You are a machine, you are a cog. You will just do that all day. And then they have like this big holiday.
Starting point is 00:42:37 Like people work abroad, like do the Chinese Belt Road Initiative. They're like, part of their thing is they're like, yeah, we'll just send laborers to different countries to like create our economic chain like basically a modern silk road and like dude there's so many human rights violations like that's why a lot of other governments aren't invested in it but like chinese governments like in the countries they want to work with have you heard the whole tiktok thing with them the tiktok so the tiktok in china
Starting point is 00:43:02 uh they prioritize and they sort of filter out all the content. So all the content that they're seeing, especially the youth, is like educational and like really inspiring. Do you have more of a handle on like what kind of the... Yeah, well, basically they have like a, they have a curfew. So like after a certain time, kids can't watch it anymore. Yeah. And then they're trying to feed young people like super like science math like all the videos are super like things that will make the kid better obviously whereas here it's just like chicks dancing a lot of video games yeah and they
Starting point is 00:43:36 different apps pretty much they sort of program it that way so yeah you know the conspiracy is that they're sort of infecting our youth they They knew how to kill us, which was kill us with pleasure. Yeah. They're getting rid of our dorks, dude. We need dorks, bro. We need to protect our dorks from that type of shit. Dorks are like beefing up or like getting filler and boobs and just like selling photos. Exactly.
Starting point is 00:43:58 Yeah, do that, bro. Dorks should not be watching girls on Instagram do, you know, fucking whatever. They should be looking looking like submarine schematics i mean like i can make one out of plastic that's undetectable yes this is a good cause maybe you guys gotta take this up to develop an app for dorks and nerds and they're important for society man we gotta get more followers good call dude so true it's a good call i think uh you know it's i think for our generation you know it's like for the greater generations of you know they say they they died fighting for our country you know it's i think for our generation you know it's like for the greater generations of
Starting point is 00:44:26 you know they say they they died fighting for our country you know for us it's we we died jay and off dude i've dropped lots of loads yeah you consider me like a b-29 flying fortress the amount of loads i've dropped in my country you could call me a load out dude speaking of um yeah we should cover this dude oh sorry sorry he got hit in the dong on his goal right oh sorry i was saying something else but that was huge yeah who what our best american soccer player oh yeah that was sick yeah dude thank you jt says he's too skinny though dude he's too skinny i like his physique i think his physique is i think his physique rips i even said that's a great soccer physique yeah it's like that guy's physique is i think his physique rips i even said that's a great soccer physique yeah it's like that guy's physique is on point i just think if when he got hit i mean like it was a nut shot but
Starting point is 00:45:10 i think if he had a beefier build like uh you know one of our better sports like eckler ladadian tomlinson he would have hopped right back out aaron donald yeah if that was aaron donald like that goalie's dead exactly the goalie's out of the fucking goal he's out of the goal and i just don't think it's representative of american athletics i'm like watching all these guys who are like my size running around and i'm like i don't know i kind of want to see dk metcalf out there just raising some ass just flooring guys we should do that for a year dude i would do that's a great documentary just get nfl players pay these guys best athletes to go and fuck in.
Starting point is 00:45:47 The best athletes in America probably play what? Football or basketball? Like those are the premier sports here. Yeah, I think so. I mean, depending on how you like- Define best athlete. But yeah, I think if someone had their druthers and could pick like any sport, I think they go basketball before football
Starting point is 00:45:59 just because it's not as- Taxing, you can have a career. It's not as hard on your body. But I do think like those are the two best. That's actually going to be my beef of the week is about this. What were you going to say? What were you stoked to talk about?
Starting point is 00:46:14 No, dude, Loadout. I was going to talk about Call of Duty. Whoa, dude, you're right. Have you been playing it? I played it one night. I played it two nights. Dude, the new one's trash. Sucks. You don't like it? No, dude played it two nights dude the new one's trash so you don't like
Starting point is 00:46:25 it no dude it looks worse than the last one um the guns are kind of bogus look i know it's all an adjustment period it's like every time espn.com changes their website i hate it and then a month later i don't remember what the old one was like but i do have to say it's been a a harsh adjustment like i'm like this sucks dude dude i had that feeling and i sort of had that also that thought of like of like i'm kind of trashed at this new one it's a little intense makes doesn't make me feel very good um is it because it's just so new and i'm just not used to it yet could be but the whole thing the whole time i was like i miss for dance that's all i could think to myself and you die too quick i mean look i'm good at dying i know how to die in that yeah i suck dude and dude you
Starting point is 00:47:10 get down like that and you can't get a fucking loadout like you can't do the part of the game that was fun the money stuff like yeah i don't like the looting style in this new one oh terrible duffel bags yeah what's it oh like why do they have the fucking things in the duffel yeah let's hit more buttons 100 bucks i'm getting 100 bucks when i'm finding cash yeah i'm like no dude i want fat fucking bills yes and then the plates thing i didn't expect that to upset me so much you have you have to get like a vest before you can put in your third plate i'm like that's not what needed fixing yeah they they fucked with shit that was like good and i'm like just leave it leave it i don't want to be too negative because there's a couple i think there's two things i like about this new one one i like that when you're going up a zip you can shoot start that's cool and then the gulag and then the gulag's cool
Starting point is 00:48:01 that you get to rock with another person in there do you like proximity chat mine hasn't worked yet so i haven't really experienced it we're always in a party we're always in an xbox party though when we're right right right oh so if you're playing with your homies you don't get it no oh okay but it's kind of nice it's a little radar thing you still will see like the little red show up on the left so it kind of works as radar which is tight okay that's cool the map's fucking gigantic gigantic, too. You don't see anyone. The other night, dude, we went 35 minutes before we saw anyone. We were in the Thidren line. Dude, that is hilarious. I was like, this is like a ponderous war movie.
Starting point is 00:48:34 JT was swimming, dude. I do like the swimming. I do like going underwater, seeing how long you can hold your breath. That shit's cool. But these are not the things I should like about a shooter game. I shouldn't be like the zip line and the team aspect and the swimming. It should be like, dude, I like the way when you hook a grenade, it sticks to his head and blows his body apart.
Starting point is 00:48:52 Yeah. The realism. Yeah. The way to make it more real, dude. That's just what I want, dude. When I'm gaming more of my real life, dude. Yeah. Yeah, dude.
Starting point is 00:49:00 Oh, my Claire's got to get a fucking pre-colonoscopy scan before I can drop. It's bullshit. Yeah. Health check. Are we still able to play Old Warzone? I think they're going to update it soon. The old one? I think so. That's what I heard.
Starting point is 00:49:12 But I don't know. That's going to be weird because it's going to be split then too, right? Maybe it's easier to win. Dude, we just need Rebirth, bro. We haven't had a dub yet. We need Rebirth back. I've logged probably like three hours playing it I have
Starting point is 00:49:25 like one kill yeah same bro I went all night it's so hard that was crazy it's so hard and then so I play with Sean
Starting point is 00:49:32 our agent and he brought us on with some guy who's like a twitch guy he's really like a pro but he's too good
Starting point is 00:49:39 to where I just kept getting killed and they'd bring me back you're in his lobby it's like bro great yeah dude like literally I was apologizing you're just using me to find guys dude you bring me back. You're in his lobby. It's like, bro, great. Yeah, dude. Like, literally, I was apologizing.
Starting point is 00:49:45 You're just using me to find guys, dude. Yeah. You say, thank you. You're welcome, dude. Dude, yeah. I was literally, like, they'd bring me back. And I'd get killed, like, right away. I'm like, I'm so sorry, man.
Starting point is 00:49:54 It's just, like, they're working extra hard to, like, keep bringing me in. Fuck. Yeah, that's the worst. Yeah, I think there's just a big learning curve for this game. Like, it's a lot slower slower and the buildings are all different. So when you're looking like where you're going, you have no idea what to do. You don't know how to get to a roof.
Starting point is 00:50:11 There's one ladder on one side that you can't find. All of a sudden there's a team of four on you. Yeah. I just think the learning curve, once we all kind of get more adapted to it, it will be a lot better because I enjoy it. But I think you're right, dude.
Starting point is 00:50:23 I think, I think you got that younger brain, you know know you got like more plasticity in there so you're able to adjust and adapt to things more quickly you know yeah and there's like a man the low i like what i like why they fucking with this shit exactly dude i like to pour myself a scotch game have a cigar inside i could tell you know my neighbor's dog quiet and my neighbor's kid quiet in my favorite recliner yeah that's my chair it's what i like that's my chair i have to get myself a hungry man frozen dinner put it on a little tray that sits perfectly on my chair i have to put on my house shoes i have shoes that are specifically for inside my home
Starting point is 00:51:05 wear those and game while the fireplace is just crackling um dude should we answer some cues down is it cool if i take a leak real quick before absolutely first oh yeah wash that off we're brought to you by the legends at manscape manscape thank you so much for keeping our trends p for looking after our hogs making sure their dinks are looking fresh and clean because you got pubes and this is a great gift as well you get the performance package 4.0 all of your hygiene needs are taken care of in one go i'm talking pubes, hair, chest, balls, taint. You can get body wash, shampoo, conditioner, the Lawn Mower 4.0, beauty, the Weed Whacker Ear and Nose Hair Trimmer.
Starting point is 00:51:54 That's Kroosh. Let me show this. Oops. I have nose hairs now. And I use that to get them out of there. It's a lifesaver, dudes. I want you to feel the same way. So, you know, you can get your significant other or whoever, your dad a candy cane
Starting point is 00:52:14 or you can get them the Performance Package 4.0 and make sure that their pubes are in check. And not only that, when you get them this gift, it's also a fun laugh because you'll be like, hey, I'm looking after your pubes and I know you're going to trim them after you get them this gift, it's also a fun laugh because you'll be like, hey, I'm looking after your pubes. And I know you're going to trim them after you unwrap this. So get 20% off and free shipping with the code go deep at manscaped.com. That's 20% off with free shipping at manscaped.com.
Starting point is 00:52:33 Use code go deep. Manscaped, get your jingle balls ready for the holidays. All right, let's get back to the show. So with the two plate armor chest, if you only have have two plates you can die from a sniper bullet one shot but if you have three it doesn't down you so you're still able to put plates back in and survive so it's kind of like a progression thing like almost like you're running bare bones with this but once you progress to the three plate vest that is pretty cool then you have more protection so i don't know they just I think they overthought it too much.
Starting point is 00:53:06 Totally. Totally feel that. Like they were like, you want real cars. So now the cars are super heavy. Yeah. Dude, the Mondo chopper that like. Yeah, the huge fucking. You need to like practice in a flight simulator for.
Starting point is 00:53:18 It's hilarious. And they're like, when you'd go off the side of a cliff in a car, just like. And I'm like, I kind of like jumping in a TV off the cliff. Yeah. Maybe there's something to, to the guys who are designing. I know they like, you know,
Starting point is 00:53:30 beta tested with tons of regular folk, but like the people who design the games are such avid gamers that the things that they like, and that probably appeal to them are like those details that make it a bit more real or give it higher stakes. And then, but I think for the layman player, it's like,
Starting point is 00:53:48 we just like the stupid bullshit. Yeah. And I think in the next month you'll be happier because they're coming out with a ranked mode. So you won't be like running into these cracked, you know, like pro guys. I'm not running into anybody.
Starting point is 00:54:00 I'm alone out there. It's rescue Don for me. I'm trying to find food to survive yeah it took us a couple days to actually get like a good tactic but you do like a contract you get money you buy your gun oh what about the pinging it's impossible to ping oh yeah dude that fucking why is there something next to where your ping is and it's white why would you choose white when everything's on the it's so obvious i can't ping nothing make it the color of the fucking guy that why would you change that yeah i can't even tell which one of my bros is pinging yeah or like when you're yeah when you're dropping out of the sky
Starting point is 00:54:33 everyone's like all right we're going there and i'm like where i have no clue no clue i'm flying the wrong way i look over on my map i'm like like 10,000 meters from my homies. All right. We got some good cues this week. Does this look good? You look. Yeah, it looks great. Pull it off.
Starting point is 00:54:53 I don't think there's anything you could do that looks bad, dude. Oh, that's nice. Thanks, dude. All right, guys. Let's hear the cues. This one's kind of, this guy's coming in hot. Hey, gay Chad. This one's kind of, this guy's coming in hot. Hey, gay Chad.
Starting point is 00:55:11 Dear gay Chad, other gay Chad and Susie. I'm turning 44. It's our troll. I know this guy. I'm turning 44. I'm running out of time. Definitely out of money. And now I have no social media because those cocksuck and horror bags at YouTube took away my freedom to express myself. i've always dreamed of being a dick and getting paid for it and i'm good at it what i'm not good at is making money is making myself money i don't know what to do gay chads
Starting point is 00:55:34 should i give up on my dream of verbally fucking people's faces and be a servant for the same type of cock sucking horror bags that silenced me to begin with anally yours george dude i think you gotta write a play you've got that natural like dialogue sense i think you're the next mammoth bro put this down on the page make it longer give it a story send it to us we'll give you notes and let's get you on broadway playa i love that that that honestly is the best advice i've heard in a long time using that that sort of rhetoric which best advice i've heard in a long time using that that sort of rhetoric which you know has gotten you banned from the internet and stuff like that and your websites you like to go to dude yeah take it to the stage bro get yourself
Starting point is 00:56:14 in a 99 cedar test some stuff out dude yeah dude there's actors at whole foods theater yeah dude there's a lot of maniacs who would love to chew on this. Yes. Yeah, meaty stuff like that, that you're saying anally yours, you know, cocksucker this and that. Let's go. There's a long history of that. Yeah. I think too, I mean,
Starting point is 00:56:34 I would make yourself the principal actor and just be your own Alec Baldwin. Maybe a one man show even. Yeah, one man show where you're just imagining all his enemies are in the audience and he's just talking shit imagine that we're in there yeah make them each play one of the enemies like they walk in and you give them a role and you don't they don't have any speaking parts because it's just you berating them that's avant-garde i i think his plague because i know this guy he trolls all of our stuff he he like literally comments on every video
Starting point is 00:57:02 and what's he say he says like the gay chad other gay chad right so he has his themes yeah and he'll what will he say it's like a paragraph long every time yeah but it's really good trolling like i was i'm a fan of his it's a lot of passion too it's a lot of passion i did i think if he could turn his trolling into a play like if he could if he could take his youtube comments and dude if he if he made a play out of entirely youtube comments fascinating i like that and look it's obvious but in the end he has to be gay yes yeah or at least like be like his dad was or something something yes no question there's got to be a full circle kind of like personal reason Or at least be like his dad was or something. Something, yes. No question.
Starting point is 00:57:46 There's got to be a full circle kind of like personal reason for the chosen language. One of the personalities that exists in this man's head is gay. I don't know which one, but one of them is. It's true. And he could almost be eliminating that during the play until he finds that person. There's a lot to it.
Starting point is 00:58:09 And I think we've given you a good head start. I think, and please keep writing in too. Yeah. Don't ever stop. Yeah. Just write in to just trash us. Spikes.
Starting point is 00:58:19 We'll read it out loud. This one's interesting. What up West coast Stokers fellow east coast stoker here quick quesh so the girl i've been seeing for the past year and a half seems to be coming more overly liberal than when we first started dating the not fun kind political correctness a lot of humor isn't funny she's a vegan and i eat meat every so often and now i get comments about my meat i was hassled for not getting the covid vax i consider myself politically homeless as i think both sides are like politically homeless it's interesting it's very visual um as i think both sides are equally corrupt but i can't help
Starting point is 00:58:56 to become pretty annoyed and starting to question whether or not things will work long term i've hung in there hoping maybe she'll mellow out and let me be me do you think with opposite political people do you think people with opposite political people, do you think people with opposite political views can date different humor as well? I'm a simple guy. All I want to do is surf, eat meat,
Starting point is 00:59:12 fish, hang with my doggo and chase the sun. Hang 10 boys. Thanks for doing the Lord's work. Um, well, it certainly can work, right?
Starting point is 00:59:20 Like, like Kellyanne Conway's, uh, hubby is on the other side. James Carville's wife, I think, is a Republican. Now with those people, it's different because they're like political operators. So maybe they can like see the theater of it and not take it too personal. But I do think people with opposing political views can work. And sometimes I think it's actually good because you kind of keep each other in check. But it does sound like she
Starting point is 00:59:42 might be razzing you a bit too much on it. might not even make it about politics i would just be like babe hey you're like razzing me you need to give me a little more space to be me because i'm just it's uh you know making me sad yeah and you know you don't want to get into a relationship with someone like if she wants you to change i wouldn't do that like get into a relationship expecting someone to change getting to the relationship with the person as they are and um yeah dude but it sounds like they're both kind of extreme it sounds like she's pretty like hardcore in her beliefs and he's like very chill like i like wants to live on a boat and be like you know joe flacco from the right like their lifestyles might not be compatible yeah shane calco sorry that is pretty crazy too if someone's
Starting point is 01:00:23 hyper liberal and he's not and he's like anti-vax that's like uh look that'll cause friction look cause friction with us and joe you know what i mean it was like uh but i don't know i think it's important for people who feel differently about stuff to find a way to make it work but with a relationship i don't know if that's the place for it but i don't know there's's something about it that I do hope it can work. Yeah, I think for him, I think home should be your comfortable kind of happy place. And if that's not the case, and I think people with different political beliefs can date, but kind of like what you're saying, if she's on your case about stuff all the time, it's like you don't want to go home and have to deal with kind of being being chastised that's that's your place of comfort that's like it should be your place of
Starting point is 01:01:09 peace yeah so i think i think that's the thing you should hone in on and be like is this gonna continue is this gonna amp up because it's brutal like i should be i should feel comfortable being me around you and yeah you don't want to feel like the bad guy when you're at home. You know what I mean? Because then it's like, well, you're part of this thing that's bad. It's like, well, I know, but I love you. You love me. I would tell her too, like, babe, you get more flies with honey.
Starting point is 01:01:37 If you're sweet to me, you got a better job. You got a better shot of convincing me than if you're telling me what a piece of shit I am. I don't think that really works. Yeah. And if it does work work it's like a beaten dog like it's not you want you want him to come to your side because he sees it as the better side not because he's scared of the ramifications if he doesn't be the change you want to see yeah and freaking you can't be a small about it i'm betting though i think his sex is good i'll bet you that's what i was gonna take it to the first thing when you were reading i was going they fucking fuck dude stand-up style just what what yeah i have a friend who's super super liberal and she's uh like publicly liberal like she has a following and stuff like that and uh she talks
Starting point is 01:02:21 about all the time but every time we like catch up on the phone i'm like you dating anyone she's like yeah i'm fucking this like fascist who plays rugby hilarious and then it's like why is he into her why is she into him and i don't think she's too serious about these dudes but like you know there is something fun about uh uh being bad when you're in that circumstance yeah but good luck to you man you seem like a sweet guy i think uh it might just be an honest conversation and then and maybe she just wants you to care about something too you know even if it's not the same like her same beliefs like it sounds like you want to chill she might want to see you just have a little skin in the game about something that's true but yeah sometimes i, sometimes it does feel like, I'm like,
Starting point is 01:03:05 if you're the person who cares a ton, isn't it okay if the other person like is kind of your, you know, safe place? Cause you can be a safe place for her where you're like, honey, you know, you don't have to be fighting all the noble fights when you're with me. We can just relax and get some sun and, you know, float the river. Totally. But those things have value and can help you long- with the other stuff the humor stuff yeah their humor's not on the same page she's like calling them out being
Starting point is 01:03:31 like that's not funny that's politically incorrect oh really yeah that's a little that's a bummer yeah i think you should be able to be an idiot with your partner a little bit yeah comedy subjective too yeah when you if you if you're like're coming home and you feel like you're getting the eye, the stink eye, you're like, that's the worst, dude. Dude, we got more GF questions. What up, Pod? I got a question. I'll get right down to it.
Starting point is 01:03:55 My new GF isn't down for my boner pump-up song, Let's Get It Up by ACDC. I like to play this as I undress and get my cock to rise. I sometimes dance around the room to get the energy going. My cock is like a WWE wrestler. It needs intro music if it wants to put on a show. I don't want to tell her it's erectile dysfunction. She thinks that I'm just super into this ritual. To be honest, I am, but I used to be a coke head. So my wiener runs a bit slow. She isn't stoked on this. Should we break we break up wow this guy traversed an incredible
Starting point is 01:04:27 amount of emotional terrain in this question yeah um you know what dude i think all things in balance i think you play the song if you guys were boning this guy well this guy sounds like he likes to bone even despite the boner problems he's got a for it. We're thinking like probably four or five times a week. I think so, absolutely. Maybe just once a week, do the ACDC music. And then ask her what song works for her. Like, is it Gloria Estefan? Is it Mariah Carey?
Starting point is 01:04:54 And then maybe there's other songs that you could find that your Willie grows to. Because it's not all about the Willie growing. It's about the shared moment before the Willie grows and after the Willie doesn't grow. So find some music that works for her i'm not saying you got to turn down the volume but you might have to you know change the playlist and then figure out what what what makes her uh wet
Starting point is 01:05:17 musically yeah yeah because that's important too dude it's not all about your dick you know you got to find the song that works for her i think correct an honest conversation where you're like babe listen i have ed i used to be a huge coke head that's why my dink isn't as you know doesn't get up as hard that's why i need acdc to get this thing moving i think if he had an honor and then he's like look, I'm willing to find another song. Maybe we dive into Rihanna, Jay-Z. Rude Boy. Rude Boy. Or Chumbawamba.
Starting point is 01:05:50 Dude, that'd be fun. Thump Thumpin', dude. That'd be pretty hilarious. Dude, when you were looking me in the eyes and telling me that, I felt aroused. Really? So I think that kind of honest, vulnerable disclosure is going to work to get her fired up and then put on some disclosure. Yeah, I was trying to give x coke latch onto that bitch i was trying to give x coke head uh eye contact that was huge dude
Starting point is 01:06:16 that's good look i have ed i used to do coke well now you look like someone has a gun to your head it's like a get one of those dick shots put some supplements get a fucking peptide peptoid on your cock i heard it makes you horny as fuck but look it might give you cancer we got to throw out the warnings too we don't know what it does to you yet but i'm hearing some positives a lot of people said they didn't feel much but dude there are dick shots you can get that porn stars get. Yeah. But dude, their wieners get weird. Really? It like deforms their wiener over time.
Starting point is 01:06:48 Because I've been watching some of these guys for so long that I've seen their dicks change. And I guess I haven't seen anybody else's dicks change. So I don't know if that's a normal thing. But I've never heard the dicks are supposed to change. No, never have I. Your dick's your dick. No free lunch. Yep.
Starting point is 01:07:03 There's no free lunch. You think these guys got it all good? You know, threesomes and the whole deal? No, never mind. Your dick's your dick. No free lunch. Yep. There's no free lunch. Exactly. You think these guys got it all good, you know, threesomes and the whole deal? Phone in nurses, whole deal, their dicks are changing quick. Hey, Pod, I really want to book a vacation to calibrate a career milestone. I think he meant celebrate. Celebrate. What did he say? I really want to book a vacation webster's dictionary whoa
Starting point is 01:07:30 whatever the job is it's not a hyperverbal one i really want to book a vacation to calibrate a career milestone i actually think i want to do it alone i want to do 420 at a weed casino resort i want to smoke reefer play blackjack and go to strip club for three days is it creepy if a single 27 year old guy does this alone no no dude dude you have a good self awareness about it too it's like creepy would not have been the word that pop no sad yeah sad for sure sad but there is something about like sectioning off time to get into that dark sad partying and uh you sound like you got a really clear idea of how you want to do it i would never get in the way of this yeah he wants to be like you know quiet eating
Starting point is 01:08:16 you know eating half a sandwich quiet staring at a wall doesn't want anyone else's judgment doesn't want to be on anybody else's time you just want to be a piece of shit for three days set no alarm clock and just go for it go lose big money and be be upset with yourself but like it and then yeah then you go back and you start and you kick you know kick into gear at work on monday yeah don't let three days turn into three years yeah have your boundaries your bliss is your bliss You know, if that includes doing reefer with degenerates and vagabonds, go for it, dude. Yeah. Hell yeah, dude. I love it.
Starting point is 01:08:51 Dude, that reminds me, this is not anywhere near that, but I want to find something like it. I used to go to movies. I still go to movies by myself. Yeah. Best thing ever. I love doing stuff by myself. It's really fun.
Starting point is 01:09:04 Dude, travel. I went to Disney by myself one time. That was weird. I love doing stuff by myself. It's really fun. Dude, travel. I went to Disney by myself one time. That was weird. Wait, let's dissect that. Yeah, but you found your limits. You found your limits, dude. I did do that when I was like 23. How much reefer did you do?
Starting point is 01:09:17 Did you gamble with any kids? I had like six churros and I was like, mom, I need help. All right. Rapid fire cues. Who'd win in a fight strider or kevin whoa kevin wrestled yeah you have a really strong core like when we used to play basketball you're like impossible to move under the hoop i got good yeah i'd probably beat kevin's ass dude yeah you know he'd come at you and you just do one of those kicks to the head
Starting point is 01:09:40 yeah you know what i'd do i'd show him a picture of his face on that small decal. He'd look at that, he'd look for it, and then fucking slap him real quick and he'd be out, dude. That's like an old school 90s movie. They always threw dust in the guy's eyes. Yeah, exactly. Who'd win in a chess match? Joe or Chad?
Starting point is 01:09:59 What's this one do? You can't move the rook like that, idiot. He's the only guy who drinks decaf and doesn't play chess. Yeah, he drinks decaf. He does love his decaf. You want to go get a cup of coffee? Then you get there, he gets decaf. Or decaf.
Starting point is 01:10:16 Hot coffee, but then ikes it down. What? Yeah. Who would win in a poetry slam local election? JT or Monica? My mom, Monica. My mom would win, but she would not make it to the end of term.
Starting point is 01:10:31 My mom would have a massive freak out. She would just get bored with the responsibility and fucking burn that shit to the ground. Probably righteously. She'd probably see some bullshit that pissed her off and be like, I can fucking do this she'd like light the fucking you know uh stage on fire stage on fire i'm like it's all bullshit fuck all these fucks she looked beautiful doing it too um all right guys should we get to the next part fuck yeah yes sir and scouted um someone sent us 12 days ago what a different world it was
Starting point is 01:11:09 from john haas pod you got to check this shit out liver king was dancing with raw meat at a rave i wonder if he was uh on some extra supplements that day too to help him dance everything's coming to question party enhancing drugs a little cocaine trying to say no dude i just got good energy i found a picture of him at 15 he's a house he's pretty ripped yeah that's such a guido that's hilarious dude lariat what he's got a i mean he's got a saucer plate pecs no he's got a house what'd you google to get that jack 15 year old you better look out you better yeah i put young liver king and this is like one of the only pictures it's on multiple sites but it's one of the only ones that's out there brian johnson yeah uh this is
Starting point is 01:11:54 real name yeah my beef is with lk dude you know just fess up be honest honest about it. It's fucked. I'm still going to enjoy watching you devour the whole beast, eating testicles, riding a cow, and saying you're going to eat its testicles later. I love it, dude, but just be honest about your juice. So when he does his apology, is he going to do it in the liver king cadence and voice? Pramos, I want to formally apologize i have disappointed my brothers i broke ancestral tenant number three honesty is that one of the ancestral tenants no
Starting point is 01:12:36 i don't know i mean he's like um but yeah dude i i it's just weird how he tiptoes around it. Well, dude, it's also, you're so right. Like a guru is full of shit. Like, yeah. If you believe in anyone. Yeah. Yeah, bro. Dude, that's so true, dude.
Starting point is 01:12:55 If you believe in anyone, they are going to disappoint you. Dude, if you're following an adult male, that's not in your family that you don't personally know or whatever, even then you're going to get deceived dude they're fallible what are you doing dude and hitchens had a good point that they would always try to like brush over and it doesn't matter like that like martin luther king was like a philanderer you know yeah and then he was like he's like people don't want to talk about he's like i actually like that he doesn't like that he made that mistake but he's like i actually find it heartening but he could because it means you can be a person full of weakness but still do things that are incredibly great you know what i mean you got to take people with both you know they're they're
Starting point is 01:13:33 full of it and they're awesome at the same time totally here's the thing with liver king too is that i i i never like i like his core message, which is like eat, you know, all natural food, you know, whatever. But he's like, eat the whole animal, you get more nutrition from it, you get nutrition from liver, which I can attest to. I do feel better when I eat liver. It boosts my mood. And like get away from whatever it is, you know, it's like the Wi-Fi and stuff. It like affects your, you know, I think what he's preaching is having, try to have it as natural of a lifestyle as you can.
Starting point is 01:14:13 Because, and then to work hard, lift heavy shit. And to all that kind of stuff. Embrace your family. Because that'll make you a happier, more productive person. And a better contributor to society. That's his core message that I like. And I think that just because he's doing roids to get this physique, I still appreciate his message. Like that doesn't get in the way of that.
Starting point is 01:14:36 And the reason like I would eat livers because I wanted a boost in my mood. And just like I never wanted to get like super jacked. I like the extra nutrition so i can feel better and feel happier and it did do that for me so yeah it's like about it sorry yeah it's like it was a beautiful lie and the beauty still remains and you it's it's speed racer dude so i love speed racer like the the race that made him want to be a racer and that made him believe in racing turns out to be a rigged race.
Starting point is 01:15:08 So he was inspired by something that was fake, but he can still take that inspiration and turn it into something real. And then he realizes if he races his race fair, then it was worth it because it got him to where he needed to get to be the better version of what that other person was promising. Yeah. Does that make sense yeah totally and i think the whole idea of
Starting point is 01:15:29 if you if you if you i made sense if you work hard if you exercise if you eat well if you life will still if you love your family you will get cancer if you love your family your dreams will not come true. Correct. You will not be famous. You will not pass go. You will not collect $200. But I do think it does make you feel happier. Yeah, 100.
Starting point is 01:15:57 You know, America's the problem, man. It's America, dude. We're a fucking shopping mall. It's always been guys on steroids that we want to look at from Hogan to Arnold to liver King. It's not changing. That's what we like to look at. That's what we like to believe in. And then there always has to be like morality built into it. Cause that's just when you combine that with some huge biceps, we just go crazy. But, and you know, we've just never made like a normal ordinary nice person a hero it's just doesn't it's not exciting i know you get like an art house film every once in a while like that
Starting point is 01:16:30 movie win-win like paul giamatti like he's with his dad but you're not really celebrating that character but like that's a hero character one probably the guy who i mean i think todd mccarthy is probably a really good guy that got the movie made but like it's a lot of yeah you know who knows the set could have been a nightmare totally it's uh oh yeah behind the scenes totally like every every influencer is like don't bully people i know people who know some of like those fitness guys and they're like that guy was like the worst bully ever when i was in high school yeah there's like three messages we like um sorry chad what's your beef what's your beef of the week oh that was my beef oh yeah i think liver king yeah wow hey and also nice pun because usually you would eat beef
Starting point is 01:17:06 liver so that's tight let's go dude hit it okay baby let's go uh strider what's your beef of the week maybe because now you know we're on one now i'm like uh my beef might be with maybe since i was at thanksgiving it's a little broad this is broad. But it's everyone who's an expert, dude. Nice, dude. Everyone now who's like, dude, if I hear this phrase from someone now, dude, dude, I did my research on it. Dude, I don't want to hear about your research.
Starting point is 01:17:36 I don't want to hear about any of your, dude, you're my coworker. We're both valets, dude. We don't know dick about ass, dude. But I mean, you know, we do a little bit like i research my podcast there's still other stuff like i put in a few hours there's still tons of shit that like could negate this in this idea and i think you should question conventional wisdom that's good but there are foundational elements that we need to all believe right that are it would help the
Starting point is 01:18:01 conversation don't fucking axe down the overton window wasn't wide open and 10 miles wide the moon's up there that's not the moon dude that's something that's actually something what the fuck dude no that's what we're gonna call it we have words that are words for a reason you can't communicate with people with a lot of people anymore i'm like dude it's unbelievable bro that's another thing i'm married we don't champion the dude who's just like yeah dude exactly you know there's got to be a but and an and dude that's that beautiful documentary that we watched man on a wire but why so fucking american question to ask but why yeah he's like fucking i didn't do it bro yeah that guy was a trip though he was a character dude his old lady
Starting point is 01:18:41 i don't know why i get so hung up on this, but this guy's amazing. This petite guy. You know, he tightropes across the two World Trade Centers. It's one of the most spectacular pieces of like athleticism and art I've ever seen. Unreal. Goes to jail. He's had the same band of friends and woman who helped him accomplish the whole thing for years.
Starting point is 01:18:59 The moment he gets out, he fucks a groupie. And then they ask him about it like like in classic bullshitter parlance. He's like, well, to cross the trade center was such an expression of beauty and such an outburst of life that immediately I needed to give more of that to the first person I saw. And I'm like, immediately,
Starting point is 01:19:21 that was at the college campus Starbucks. And he still comes up to me, double Ds. She ordering Venteuccino i also get vente cappuccino how are we not going to in this moment go ahead she had a red in her hair i'm not accustomed to that you know we don't do our hair like that in europe and then i usually yeah get laid bro but it would be cool if he was if he was like that if he was like super casual like i did i walked across the towers to me if he would have said that's why if he just looked at the camera i was like why do you think i would why do you think i did all that crazy shit let me ask you why do you raise your kids and have a life and drive a car and pay insurance and have 401k so you can fuck your wife i fuck many men's wives with what i do do you understand
Starting point is 01:20:06 it's very obvious yeah why dunk a basketball why lift good weights why yeah amen brother what's that dot com man on wire it's amazing sick it's one of the best docs ever i think um dude my beef of the week is with soccer. Let's go. We're coming at it hard. I try. I try. I try. And look, the excitement in watching it in a group is there.
Starting point is 01:20:34 And, you know, the investment that all these countries have in their athletes and in the meaning of those victories and in how they play is beautiful. But dude, I got to tell you, as a viewing in, in how they play is beautiful. But dude, I got to tell you as a viewing experience, it's not a good sport. It's never cracking the top five. And I think it's because they just fail all the time. I've never watched a sport or I don't enjoy watching a sport where the people
Starting point is 01:21:00 who are the best at it fail more often than they succeed. It baseball is like this for me too. This is why baseball, I consider a tier two sport. Cause like best hitter of all time nowadays, who are the best at it fail more often than they succeed it baseball is like this for me too yes this is why baseball i consider a tier two sport because like best hitter of all time nowadays because everyone's trying to hit bombs and worried about obp they're gonna bat like 290 you know what i mean 300 a little higher like 320 330 whatever but they're failing more often they succeed in soccer you know these guys who you hear about all the time, they're like, oh my God, you know, like Lewandowski, he's incredible. Every time I watch him, he's got like the yips on like five of his shots on goal.
Starting point is 01:21:31 And they're always like, oh, he's having an off day. I'm like, I've never seen him have an on day. I've never seen the world's best player look like that. It's just an incredibly disappointing viewing experience. And yeah, I like when the people who are best at it get above 50 in their success rate like steph curry on his jumper or like aaron rogers on his completion percentage absent this year i like watching guys be good at things and accomplish it more often than they fail and soccer just does not provide that does not and i'm sorry and look
Starting point is 01:22:03 i really i try i try and I hope the USA does well even though I'm sad about the Iranians. And the faking of the injuries. I'm still rooting for USA. No, I know. I know. You're pulling for Iran and you have been for a long time.
Starting point is 01:22:16 Yeah. Chad's always wanted them to get nukes. Always wanted them. Chad follows a lot of Iranian scientists, nuclear physicists on instagram and he really i watched some play england no score zero zero every most games yeah and this is a win and we're celebrating yeah usa wins nil nil huh yeah and people are talking about the strategy afterwards they're like they did a good job of working from the back and you know protecting the the lanes through the midfield i'm like
Starting point is 01:22:47 no one did anything yeah the guy kicks the ball he takes a shot it's like 20 feet above the goal you're like yeah they they even say they're like how can they miss that bat yeah they're like the really skilled teams they hang back because they know they have the superior players so they know they can just wait for you to make a mistake and then they'll score one goal and get out of there With a dub. I'm like, yeah, that mentality is a super boring. Yeah, I did But I'm psyched. I saw a great Meme that was like soccer's all fucked up. They got it. They got to put half the guys out there You know no more offsides shrink down the goal and put
Starting point is 01:23:26 fucking ice everywhere yeah oh yeah it was a was that i think it was shithead steve maybe oh okay i saw a similar one yeah might be i could be wrong when he said it but i liked it chad he's your babe of the week uh my babe of the week uh it's a cup of coffee, dude. There's nothing better than waking up to a nice cup of Joe. If you got a flight, you got a cup of Joe on the flight. You drink that cup of Joe. You just feel good doing some writing.
Starting point is 01:23:56 You're reading a book. You get in bed. You take a dump. You sit on the john and you just have a cup of joe and everything's flowing and you know you step out onto your porch with a robe and you just look out so you wave to your neighbor and then you know you go and you spank your girlfriend yeah hell yeah this is all possible because of a cup of joe yeah that's beautiful thanks i'm considering everything you just said to be poetry bless you sorry a lot of good keywords joe on the john yeah real good
Starting point is 01:24:36 dump spank spank spanking down strong words coming in just you know still asleep like troy style you know brad pitt that first scene where he's just he just sprawled bare ass with two chicks and yells at some random kid tells him his name will never be remembered hilarious yeah so funny so unnecessary just run that kid strider he's your baby of the week dude my baby of the week's gotta be my freaking dad guy's fiance dude because do we went christmas tree hunting she corrected me i was like let's go shopping she goes no we're going hunting for it i go let's go that's fucking cute come here
Starting point is 01:25:14 and then we fucking cruised to the lot dude and we get there and you can have the person open it up for you and i felt a little bit bad i was like oh yeah can we i was trying to be the guy excuse me can we get this tree opened up i'd like to look at this you got to flex on those dudes because they're flexing on you right when you walk in bro because they're like oh that's a douglas that's a noble i'm like fuck you don't and there's the way they asked her like hey do you need me to strap this to your car i'm like you know we could put it in the trunk if we really want no i didn't have the guy put in the trunk i go don't put it on the car just put it in the trunk he goes you serious and I try to tip him.
Starting point is 01:25:45 And then he goes, I can't accept your tip to try to power move my tip. I was like, you're an idiot. Dude, I had this whole thing with this guy. He did checkmate me. No, you checkmated him, bro. No, dude. Then my fiance was blowing him. Wait, what?
Starting point is 01:25:59 Yeah, dude. No, dude. Yeah, she was flocking him there, dude. In the tree flocking area. Dude. Fucking. But my fiance had a great move. She goes, let's surprise ourselves this year. Let's not even open it up and just open up the tree at home
Starting point is 01:26:13 and see what we get. Very cute. So we just picked out the size we want that fits in our space and it ended up being nice. Pretty full bushel. Nice, dude. So that was sick.
Starting point is 01:26:23 Hell yeah, bro. I like that. Yeah, fuck those dudes it's always like a teenager they're teenagers they think they think they got it all figured out i'm like bro you're about to get a 900 on your sat it's the backup linebacker dude at his fucking high school and he's like you want me to move that i'm like dude you think you're gonna grow three more inches i got news for you bro you're maxed out i'm like that's about it for you you're five nine yeah and i got a hotel from that hairline 10 years from now sayonara
Starting point is 01:26:45 but here's the thing he's gonna be smart he's gonna become an electrician he's gonna have a 401k he's gonna kick my ass they are good with their hands i gotta give him credit um dude my baby of the week is uh myself let's go because you know i'm uh i'm leaving town well yeah so my baby of the week is myself i'm i'm moving into my girlfriend's place in january yeah it's big because i've never lived with a gal before i basically already lived there i spend like all my nights over there so i've never really cohabitated with another human being and you know it's interesting because i have a big personality and it's about meshing with another person and doing what's good for them even if it's not what you would want to do you know what i mean so, and I find most of it to actually not even be much effort because I love her so much.
Starting point is 01:27:28 I'm like, no, I'm into this. Like, it's fun to do these things that make her stoked. But she's been in a bit of a mood the last couple of days, you know? And then that affects me because I'm a very sensitive guy. And then I never know who started the mood. I'm like, is it her mood that's throwing me off? Or did I come in with too much much energy and then that made her act a certain way and now she's reacting to my dip in energy and now who knows who's got the mood to start with and you're just in fucking crazy town dude so then she's been really sweet and she made me a salad last night delicious she put together a dressing nice balance balance of garlic and had something else in there that was giving it some extra flavor.
Starting point is 01:28:11 And then this morning, you know, she made me a nice piece of sourdough toast with like salmon lox on it. What? Dude, delicious. But here's the thing, bro. I'm not big on... Our love languages are different. I'm not big on acts of service and stuff like that.
Starting point is 01:28:26 I've been eating takeout for 10 years. It makes me happy as shit. I don't give a fuck, dude. Like for me, I'm like, I know there's other things that make me feel loved, but it's undeniably so, so sweet of her. And then she's been asking me, hey, cause she just got her kitchen remodeled.
Starting point is 01:28:42 Looks great, babe. Looks fucking, she listens. It looks beautiful, babe She's been wanting me to bring my table and my my my dining room table my coffee table over to her place And you know we had Thanksgiving weekend, and I'm leaving town tomorrow so I was like I don't know if I'm gonna get to it and And so today this morning after she made me brekkie She was like so do you think you're gonna be able to get that she's she no she phrased it like this she's like she's like uh so you think you'll probably move that stuff in once you get back from the trip and then i i'm just sitting there on the couch watching sports
Starting point is 01:29:13 center she's about to leave for work and i go up yeah yeah when i get back from the trip she leaves i'm in my head all day i'm like something feels off bro something feels off this is this morning this morning this morning so you and me, we had like a meeting. And then she was like, well, what are you going to do? And I'm like, I got a meeting. Then we were supposed to have a call, but it got pushed. And then I was like, I'm going to go to the gym and then I'm going to go to Pilates. I had two gym sessions planned for today.
Starting point is 01:29:34 Let's go. So before I go to the gym, I look at the clock. I go, wait, I got some time. I go, what can I do here? And then I go, I got an idea. I go to U-Haul in burbank walk in big line big line and i walk and i literally go what the fuck like two people laugh everyone's moving shit i hear the lady on the phone she's like we gotta line out the door and we don't have any trucks so she
Starting point is 01:29:58 hangs up and from the back of the line i'm like you guys don't have any trucks she's like maybe a cargo van i'm like i'm out drive to another u-haul place rent the the big truck the 10 foot one drive over here my bro comes and meets me we throw the tables in there we drive back to her place we unload them they look pretty good i don't know if the dining room table is going to work but the coffee table's a hit and then uh i don't send her the photo i'm gonna wait for her to get home from work but then she goes to the same pilates instructor as me and when i'm there she's like just texting me she got hung up at work it looks like it's like they got a lot going on so i was like i'll surprise her so i go back to the house send her the photos nah she really appreciated it yeah that's what i'm talking
Starting point is 01:30:37 i guess exactly dude so i'm my babe of the week for doing that that's huge you nailed it dude hell yeah chad who's your legend of the week uh my legend of the week is you guys oh i got you a christmas present now dude you're the man oh i just i just learned that this is a scam you got scammed I got scammed bro the most uncultable guy in the world JK I got scammed but I still think
Starting point is 01:31:13 it's sick so basically I found this website called established titles and the whole thing is like you pay X amount of money to buy a plot of land like a foot you know square foot of land in scotland and by doing so and then they're like we're gonna donate a tree i don't know if any of this is true but in doing so it makes so i bought a plots of land for both of you and so this establishes your lordship what you were l're lords so you guys are official lords
Starting point is 01:31:48 dude you know we may be lords but i'll always be your liege man i appreciate that likewise brother dude this is amazing what the fuck dude i'm framing this dude you're a lord dude dude that's amazing dude no way this is a scam no No, this isn't a scam, dude. Look how happy we are, dude. When I learned that, I was like, well, whatever. The fucking paper's still safe. Yeah, it's on parchment, baby. Let's go, bro.
Starting point is 01:32:14 Proclamation, dude. Hereafter is the lord. You're still a lord. Where this deed witnesses as follows. Where as part of the estate that the plot forms a part of has been identified and set in sign in relation to a scheme of souvenir plots established title in consideration of all sums due and paid to us by the lord let's fucking go dude that's right dude what's up lord in the name of lord squider dude this is so sick dude lord, Lord JT Parr. It's official now, dude. Dude, thank you. This is great, dude.
Starting point is 01:32:45 You know how doctors are like doctor? Yeah. I'm going to be like Lord. Yeah, exactly, dude. I'm fucking a straight up Lord, dude. Dude, thank you, bro. That's so hot. This is awesome, dude.
Starting point is 01:32:55 Thank you, man. Yeah. I'm really aroused. That was really nice, man. Dude, thank you, bro. That's huge, dude. We're fucking Lords. Dude, did you get yourself a Lord?
Starting point is 01:33:04 No. I'm'm gonna get you something you're gonna get you're gonna you can't you can't make us lords and you're not a lord it's a it's a scam bro i mean it's still nice yeah it's a beautiful scam great dude yeah i think i mean i i was like i don't really care you still get the paper you guys are still lords wait so if it wasn't a scam what would that mean there're actually lords in england in scotland oh in scotland there's no land i want a land where's my land though bro what type of tree are they planting dude i'm gonna reach out and be like hey what's up guys like we want to come see our land we should follow up i want a palm tree planted there in and out style. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:33:45 No, I was looking out cause I wanted to look up like the whole thing behind it. But yeah. So you guys are Lords. Dude. Thank you. That's a great gift, man.
Starting point is 01:33:54 Thank you. That's awesome. I feel awesome. Dude. You're going to name a star after you. Oh, that's fun. You can do that.
Starting point is 01:34:00 Yeah, you can do that. Star Lord. Oh, right into the camera strider who's your legend of the week dude my legend of the week is whoever the dude is and it's probably dudes, but it's the style of guitar that's playing during sick-ass speeches in sports movies. You know when you're watching the Any Given Sunday speech
Starting point is 01:34:31 and you hear that little... They're just plucking, dude. Just the dude's... Exactly. Little strings. Bro, it's the best. Dude, that guitar, dude, is like... Every dude does this face.
Starting point is 01:34:41 When they hear it, they go... Purpose. Dude, exactly. They do it in Friday Night Lights. It's all over that movie. That might have been my first time I was aware of it was Friday Night Lights. But then I've been crushing... We were just watching.
Starting point is 01:34:56 I was just... Chad cruised over and I was like, dude, watch this. But I pulled a you. I was like, watch this right now, dude. Any given Sunday speech with Pacino. Oh, it's the greatest. Dude, I literally get into it. I want to continue watching the now, dude. Any given Sunday speech with Pacino. Oh, it's the greatest. Dude, I literally get into it. I want to like continue watching the movie, dude.
Starting point is 01:35:08 Life like football is a game of inches. Six inches. For your face. Dude, such a good line. I made a mistake in middle age. To start a speech like that. Dude, amazing. To be like, I'm a piece of shit.
Starting point is 01:35:20 Yeah. But I'm here. The best. Pissed all my money away. Believe it or not and i've chased away everyone who's ever loved me exactly if i'm gonna have any life left in me it's because i'm still willing dying crawling with my fingernails but that is and we can either live and heal us a team or die as individuals i can't do it for you and do jamie foxx's slow walk bro
Starting point is 01:35:48 towards the center but the best face is dennis quaid's face dude at the end when everyone's really up he's like i'm too old and they cut to him he's a yeah captain his acting dude captain jack rooney man good acting in that whole thing and then dude the way is it is it uh who's the is it jim brown yeah actor him just sitting there like this the whole time dude he's a good actor for an athlete like he gave up football at 30 to act because he was just done he crushes it dude and wasn't he he was like the best lacrosse player in the country at syracuse he was just like yo i'll do two sports and i guess he like basically cut off the whole stick and just had like the net part and kind of like our soccer thing he was such a better athlete than everyone it didn't matter he just
Starting point is 01:36:30 smashed everybody like jim brown like yeah whatever sport he's gonna go play he's gonna be the best yeah he's a fucking beast fucking phenomenon um dude my legend week is my brother because you know i got that idea at 12 30 and by one 15, he was at my front door. Well, that's good. Helping me move tables and load the truck. And, uh, you know, he is the, cause I've been thinking about it. I actually don't think Jim in the town is that cool for saying whose car we taken. Because I think it's kind of like a thing that we valorize because we're like,
Starting point is 01:37:06 oh, he's brave and he's willing to hurt people for his friend because we're all afraid of getting into fights. So we're like, that's cool. But it's kind of being a bad friend. Like a good friend would be like, why are we going to fuck these dudes up? Are they nice guys?
Starting point is 01:37:19 Did they make a mistake? You know, it's really, it's actually kind of like a beta move to just be like, like yeah let's go hurt people because my buddy told me to yeah my brother's like gem but like about nice things where i'm like chris we got to move two tables because it's a nice thing to do for my girlfriend and my brother's like whose car are we taking huge that's huge bro who's you all we taking and moving is one of those classic things where it's like it's like a punchline like 80s comic
Starting point is 01:37:44 a comedy you know it's like you want to help me move you know take me to the airport like that type of stuff yeah he's there bro it's a good bro fucking sick chad what's your quote of the week so fucking tight um my quote of the week is um i'm gonna go JFK The legend If not us Who? If not now When? Get out there And get after it dudes
Starting point is 01:38:13 Dude that was a good JFK Dude thanks Let me see I'm gonna look up one Strider hit it dude Let's fucking see here dude I was gonna do Pacino But I got carried away
Starting point is 01:38:24 It was just so much fun just riffing on it um sorry what were you gonna say uh we we talked to brad floyd the other day and he's like we're like come back on the pot he's like i'm only doing enough striders on it and i want to do a draft horror movies yeah let's fucking do it and dude you know what i saw um at work i saw brad great dude, super nice guy, unbelievable. Nothing but nice thing to say about you. Sweetest dude. And he's like, we got to do it together.
Starting point is 01:38:50 And I was like, let's do it. You know what we could do too so we don't have to cut my bro? Me and my bro, the same way we co-manage our fantasy football team, 10 and 2. We could make picks together. Very sick that you said that. Oh, did I?
Starting point is 01:39:03 Very sick that you said your record like that. 10 and 2. But that would be amazing if you guys are willing to do that. Yeah, we can co-manage. Yeah, for sure. We'll bring nice balance to it. Is that your record, ten and two? Ten and two, number one in the league.
Starting point is 01:39:14 Nice. That'd be fun. Do you get all the bros in here, dude? Yeah, it'd be fun. Can we hook a fifth mic up to this thing, Jake? Not up to this thing, but we can make it work. What a beast, dude. Dude, he's fucking... He knows he's gonna figure it out. Yeah, I mean, it's not too hard. He figures stuff out, dude. up to this thing jake uh not up to this thing but we can make it work what a beast dude he knows
Starting point is 01:39:25 he's gonna figure it out yeah i mean it's not too hard figure stuff out should have gotten you your lordship yeah yeah the first time i got your duke ship duke ship i'm the king duke yeah the first time jt ever said my lord i thought he was mad at me he texted me he was like my lord and i'm like what the fuck no i i'm like my lord when he do text like that yeah that is true it does throw me off because um you say like my lord i'm like it looks like bad news is coming yeah yeah every time like i'll be driving a bit just waiting that's intentional then you'll say it and i'll be like you want then you i think you'll like forget or something i'll be like what's up yeah oh i'll type my lord and not type the second thing yeah yeah sometimes i'll type my
Starting point is 01:40:09 lord because the idea will come fast and i'm like oh i gotta tell chad this yeah and then i'll type my lord and then the idea i'll be like oh that's actually a bad idea because it conflicts with this or that or that and then i'll be like chad gets it i'll just leave it i didn't know i was doing that yeah no it's fine conversely though i get those and I'm like, what up? It's a vibe. For the most part. Sometimes, yeah. My lord. It sounds like a southern woman saying that.
Starting point is 01:40:35 Okay, here's a few quotes that are so sick and they're all quick. Google these. This is General George Patton, which is a war movie. A pint of sweat will save a gallon of blood. A good plan violently executed now is better than a perfect plan next week. Do everything you ask of those you command. That should have been my one.
Starting point is 01:40:52 Do everything you ask of those you command. That's good. Chad, what's your phrase of the week for getting after it? My phrase of the week for getting after it is... Let's battle rope this night that's lame what about uh about hey gay chad okay hey gay chad that's fucking amazing dude stratter let's see here fucking cabs are here i don't know why this one popped in my head but norm mcdonald told this story once that uh
Starting point is 01:41:42 richard prior was doing a fundraiser show and the comedian on before him was pretty pretentious and sometimes looked down on Pryor's version of comedy. And it was a guy and his wife and the wife was doing a Marie Antoinette character and it was all pretty highfalutin. And as she was walking off the stage and Pryor was coming on,
Starting point is 01:42:01 he walked by and went into the mic. I think that bitch just farted. That's genius dude that's so fucking funny dude yeah he's funny i got a phrase uh hit it dude joe rogan's here oh yeah if you haven't seen the video go watch it's on you're wearing a consciousness yeah i'm wearing a hat yeah fuck yeah yeah check seen the video, go watch it. It's on YouTube. Are you wearing a consciousness conference hat? Fuck yeah, dude. Yeah, check out the video, guys. It's a fun one.
Starting point is 01:42:29 Yeah, check it out. You guys have been putting out some nice videos. Yeah, dude. We've got a couple in the can. We're shooting some more stuff. Let's go. Getting after it. Yeah, we're on it.
Starting point is 01:42:37 Making it fucking happen, dude. Making shit. That's what it's all about. I just realized they did the ads for next week, this week. The ones that went out? Yeah. Was there, is there, is there, so like I put up the dad grass one. Was that not in the ads?
Starting point is 01:42:55 Oh, that you did, you put up dad grass? I think I did put up dad grass. Oh, sweet. Let me check that out. I didn't do dad grass. Did you put it in yourself in the description yeah let me see oh i get what you're saying yeah it was like athletic greens yeah it was manscaped athletic greens and
Starting point is 01:43:15 hold on it was like a new watch company yeah and dad grass yeah those are i i did the ones for next week that's cool that's good they get a smattering of everything um all right dude damn it fuck yeah did you get a message from someone or something no but we're i we should have i should have put dad grass in there all good dude it happens you rip the ads every week. You can't be perfect. We might be able to figure a way to slide. Hey, my lord, it happens. Oh, thanks, dude. They already paid.
Starting point is 01:43:53 All right, bros. Thanks for listening, guys. If you're watching, sorry to have to say this, but subscribe and do all that shit. Do it. Like and comment. We're not fucking around anymore. Just do it. Fucking do it, man. Yeah, come on. I'm a lord in Scotland. shit do it like and comment we're not fucking around anymore just do it do it man yeah come on i'm a lord in scotland i'm trying to be rich man we're youtubers all right don't
Starting point is 01:44:12 you want us to be rich wouldn't that make you happy like and subscribe tell all your friends give us a review and if you see strider jack. Yeah. We're playing the game now. We were resistant before, but now we're in it. Yeah, I'm in, dude. Let's go. And we're ready to fuck. I'm getting my calves done. I'm going all in.
Starting point is 01:44:35 I'm getting calf implants and a fake tan. I'm in. I'm this close to getting dermal filler in my jaw. Looking like fucking the bad guy from Tango and Cash. Oh, that's a great look. I'm getting into OnlyFans. That'd be hot. I'm going to show you my cock.
Starting point is 01:44:56 That's cool. All right, that's sweet.

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.