Going Deep with Chad and JT - EP 274 - Hanna Dickinson Talks Shit To Us

Episode Date: January 18, 2023

What up stokers! This week we have our dear friend, Hanna Dickinson, on the pod. Enjoy!   Check us out on tour! Go to www.chadandjt.com for tickets!   Check out the reddit here: https://www.reddit.com/r/ChadGoesDeep/   Sponsored by: Athletic Greens: Visit ATHLETIC GREENS dot com slash GODEEP for a FREE 1 year supply of Vitamin D AND 5 FREE travel packs with your first purchase.   Go to HelloFresh.com/deep22 and use code deep22 for 22 free meals plus free shipping!

What's up Stokers, before we begin, well first off we got Fire Podcast, make sure you stick around and watch till the end because it's dank. If you're watching on YouTube, dude, get that freaking subscription going, give us a like and a comment and say what up. Also, we have a Reddit going, check out the Reddit if you want to get on some deep discussion with some Stokers, it's epic. And then also, we have tour dates coming up, We are going to be in Spokane this weekend. We are going to St. Louis next. And we also have an LA show on the 25th of January. So get your tickets for that ASAP.

We have also tons of dates coming up. We're going all over. So get your tickets at chattandjt.com. We're also brought to you by Legends Athletic Greens. Thank you to our partner, Athletic Greens. You guys are the best guys. I drink Athletic Greens. Thank you to our partner, Athletic Greens. You guys are the best guys. I drink Athletic Greens daily. I love it.

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We're also brought to you by the legends at HelloFresh. Thank you, HelloFresh guys. You've got New Year's goals and HelloFresh is here to help you achieve them. Skip the grocery store and take control of your time and budget with delicious recipes delivered right to your door. Guys, you can get pre-made, delicious, epic meals. I love HelloFresh. I eat HelloFresh weekly.

I love it. Go to HelloFresh.com slash Deep22 and use code Deep22 for 22 free meals plus free shipping. That's HelloFresh.com slash Deep22 and use code Deep22 for 22 free meals plus free shipping that's hellofresh.com slash deep 22 and use code deep 22 for 22 free meals plus free shipping hellofresh tagline america's number one meal kit i don't think i was supposed to read tagline but what up uh let's start the show you know uh in new york john was oh what a rookie you gotta call me jt on the pod okay so i'll leave it in i'll leave it in people know but my parents call me jt like that is my name okay well i'm

sorry i met you at a time in your life where you were going by john let's just clear the air from 19 to 28 i went by john and then i switched back to jt once we started doing our stuff whoa that's so crazy 19 to 28 was the lowest point in my life too anyway um when jg came why would you be rude you knew having me on this podcast i was going to be yeah i was ready for the heat all right um when john or fuck i'm really gonna fuck this up when jt came to new york he i brought my dog and he was doing like one of these to pet it uh-huh and he was like yeah i'm not really a dog guy and i'm like what do you mean you're not a dog guy do you like cats he's like no i'm more of a horses person yeah horses which

is such a rich kid thing to say i don't think so i mean it can be depending on i didn't touch a horse as a child that's not like you know you don't have like a it's not like a house cat like you you have multiple homes if you have horse i was friends with rugged cowboy types wranglers ranch ranchers guys in san diego in yellowstone well no because our vacation home was in wyoming exactly my point exactly my point dude when you touch a horse you can there's their their skin is like so soft and you can feel how strong their heart is the way it beats like you can feel that power inside their chest yeah i know i've i just rehab um no horses no i know you did horse therapy yeah it's incredible because they pick up on your energy so they're mirrors of you so i was like the horse is so nervous and i was nervous to be

with the horse and the one was like is the horse nervous or are you nervous whoa and i was like okay well i'm fucking nervous but now i'm in a pen with a fucking spastic horse so i'm more nervous right anyway that's the thing i went my dad took me horseback riding he's like really into horses and stuff he wants me to be a cowboy so bad every time i go see him he's like you should buy this carhartt stuff you know he's like you should be a cowboy you know my dad actually he was like he's like this not not lately but i think probably like five years ago he's like you ever thought about being a country singer um which is hilarious um you could make the switch easily i'm going home um yeah chris doughtry i um chris doughtry country no i'm just fucking around he's my guy chris doughtry i love

your country music um i uh was oh whenever i ride a horse the horse just takes control I don't know how to I can't I'll try to like be like alright let's go right and he's like nah we're going left I don't know how to fucking it's gotta be a mind game right yeah you have to dominate it right or you have to be in sync with it when I ride I do it's for me I'm not that great so I know I'm not gonna be in total control of it

I'm just giving it suggestions right like it'd be nice if we did this but I allow the beast to kind of run the show yeah and I let it know like hey i'm just i'm a passenger here right but i think you're supposed to like you know like like tough cowboys are like i said this guy was breaking a horse one time like you know making it rideable for other people and i saw him the horse was being like a pain in the ass and he he was like old school. He just took his thumb and stuck it in the horse's eye. Right. It's the craziest thing I've ever seen.

Yeah. But it like, he dominated it. He was like, I'm going to be in control. You're going to do what I say. It sounds like abuse. It was. It was. But I think that was the methodology they used back then.

I think too. Back then, what year was this? I mean, this was like 04, but he was like an Australian guy who was like in his 60s. So I think he was, he wasn't thinking of it on that level. I think too. He killed his dog one time. Okay. We should not talk about this.

Because he couldn't afford to feed it anymore. Oh, so he just shot it? He was like, he's like, actually, I adopted the dog and then it ran away. But he. It's the same thing as shooting it. He was going to shoot it. And that's why he goes he's like jt i kind of forward to fucking feed ringer so i'm gonna take her out back later today

and we'll fucking shoot her in the head and i was like and me and my family were like i just started crying i was like dad no i was like we gotta take the dog but i was like you're not gonna take care of the dog and i was like well the dog's gonna fucking die i was like all adopted and then yeah you adopted it and it committed suicide it was used to living on a ranch so it's used to running around a lot so the fucking thing just got back to orange county and just fucking took off oh so you brought back to orange county and then as soon as you're like all right go play just fucking it just spreads i think my parents you know honestly the dog was rough and it was like chewing up our little bijon so i think think my parents might have. They're like, all right, go back to Wyoming.

Took it out back. I had just had tonsil surgery. My tonsil's out, so I couldn't talk. And I was kind of bedridden. And then I think my parents, when I was sleeping, just let him out and were like, go ring her. You're free now. That makes sense.

They could have been like, hey, Wyoming's that way. You can go back home. He ran the whole way. It's like a movie. That's a cool movie. Dude, that would be cool. It's like horses movie yeah that's a cool movie dude that would be cool it's like horses great animals i think i think too it's like going back to what you're saying it's like confidence you have to have full confidence that you have control over the animal and if you don't it can sense it yeah we had like our first was just meeting the horse

and then our the second session was we had to be blindfolded and walk with the horse in a circle trust trust exactly and i was so bad at that because i trust no one and i went last i was like i don't want to do it and the one was like you have to do it and the whole group was like you have to do it so every that you were supposed to go into this circle and i was blindfolded and i literally walked in and like walked out i missed the whole circle but everyone was cheering so i thought i did it and i did not at all but it felt good to do it right what i mean like it was from the outside it was pretty pathetic but from the inside i was like i'm facing my fears of walking this horse with a blindfold it's a good metaphor for life too like life feels like this big beastly unwielding thing that we can't control

and we try to control it and then the best thing we can do oftentimes is just to have faith and just try to go with it rather than to handle it I know I hate change so much and I'm such a control freak, which is probably why I drink too much. And letting go of that has been the best thing for my life. Yeah, how long you been sober now? Well, from alcohol, a year and a half. From everything else, what was January 1st? Yeah, you had a wild New Year's, right? I had a wild New Year's.

What'd you do? I went to Miami. Oh, right, I saw you there. Yeah, and i basically was like obsessed with this guy who i met it's a long story but i was like he i met him at a wedding in memphis he lives across the street from me in new york and he asked me to go down early for brunch and cancel it on me i had a layover in atlanta he goes oh i thought it was casual lunch plans i was like what part of the layover in atlanta is casual okay anyway i was like really obsessed with him but then i took a bunch of mushrooms on new year's and i realized that like

i just have a drug problem like i was like trying to make this person my like i was so focused on him because i was avoiding my own problems and i thought it was fate that we met in memphis and he lived across the street in new york city and he was going to miami for new year's and it's like no those are just drug addict locations right so right it's not fate it's just like i was obsessed with well i just i have prescription drugs but i was abusing them should i talk about this is? Is that bad? I don't know. I don't know. I think people will actually like your candor, but it's up to you, whatever you're comfortable I mean, I'm comfortable with it because I'm not.

I like flush everything down to the toilet. It was a very big release. Did you have withdrawal? No, which is weird. Yeah. Because it's like I had been abusing them, but I was taking edibles too, and I was kind of going crazy, I think. And then I went on this mushroom trip, which I'm also off mushrooms, but I think I'll be back to those.

Do you think you made the dude like your higher power a little bit? Like you were like, this guy's the answer to. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, I think we all do that too. It's just easier to like blame someone else like why aren't you texting me like why aren't you you know and he had blown me off by the way uh a bunch of times before that my friend goes how do you let a guy blow you off three times i was like first of all bitch it was four times okay and also

why is it because then if you do succeed it'll feel so good i feel like you overcame the odds and the obstacles and like where other people would acquit you persisted and got to the it's the same thing i'm doing this industry yeah no it's not different than our hustle yeah trying to uh be famous and yeah there's so much rejection baked into it i think that's the good thing about being a comedian is like people are afraid of rejection i think we're all so used to it that it's like like people like i'm afraid to fail i'm like well yeah if i didn't have 20 years in the bank of failure i guess i might be afraid of it too but i'm just used to it by now yeah i feel like that's my actual issue with relationships because i hate the gray area of

like i'm like if you're gonna reject me just like get it over with. Yeah, say it harsh. Be like, hey, fuck you. Get out of me here. You're like, okay, I can register that. Yeah, like I'd rather just like, no, it's like a yes or no. And guys to me will be like, Hannah, it's not all black and white.

And I'm like, it kind of is though. Like, because the gray area is easier for them to like. Get away with stuff. Yeah. Well, I remember too when dating. When dating dating humble brag whilst dating uh yeah there's those guys i remember there's one like who would just totally you know she'd get you on the hook that she'd be like yeah we're going out tonight uh blah blah i'm like all right maybe i'll see you there and then like just no response and it's just and but

i kept it's that thing of like they get you on the hook and you're like and then you feel like it's almost like it's almost like one of those like arcade games where you're trying to like get the fucking stuffed animal yeah yeah and you just like have the hook and you're just trying to like pick up the stuffed animal it it drives you nuts and before you know it like two years have passed and you're still on the thing yeah Yeah, I do. Come on. Come on. I'm going to get it. The little green alien.

And your friends are like, come on, dude, get out of there. You're like, I'm not a quitter. I got this. I'm going to grab it. I know. Well, that's the thing. I told my friend the next day after New Year's because I really let him have it. But honestly, it was a release and then I was so over it.

I was like, I mean, I look crazy to him, but he wasn't answering my calls anyway. So who cares um i was telling my friend about it and i was like oh like i feel like because after i quit drinking and like after every like i felt like i had done a lot of work on myself and then this felt like such a step backwards and she was like it's actually not because like think about it what you would have done two years ago which is i would have gotten drunk and had sex with him anyway i wouldn't even had sex with him i probably would have had sex with like his buddy or something the guy who was bringing the towels to his room honestly that would have showed him yeah i fucked the towel guy what's up what's up how's that feel cabana rick he's like on molly at the time he's like what

what happened wait so you you said you've let go from was it i know alcohol but you're saying letting go of control yeah that's what it is i mean that's because i i i want people to like do the right thing but that also drives me crazy i'm like i can't make like do the right thing, but that also drives me crazy. I'm like, I can't make someone do the right thing because also we experience things differently. So like what I think is the right thing isn't what they think it's the right thing. So that's what kind of like drives me crazy. So now, I mean, and I've been doing this since I quit alcohol, but like it's just I try to just do the best that I can and I'll do things for people and with not that I would ever do things for someone with exact expectation but if I did something for someone and then like later down the line they kind of like screwed me I'd be like are you kidding like

yeah we're friends like how could you do this it's like I have to now go into every situation with the expectation that like no one's ever going to do anything for you, which is kind of a sad way of looking at it. But it's I try to think of it as more empowering rather than. Well, and then you'll be you'll be surprised and grateful when they do. Yeah, because people will do that stuff. It's just if you if you bank on it or if you try to make it happen, there's a lot of disappointment there. Yeah. Or like measure your happiness on it you know what i mean like or it's just yeah i'm trying to like not let anything let go and let

flow yeah there's a good aca saying uh like for 12 step where they say they do the serenity prayer you know which is god grant me the serenity to accept the things i cannot change the courage change the things i can in the wisdom know the difference they say god grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. They say, God, grant me the serenity to not try to change people. Give me the courage to change the one person I can and the wisdom to know that that person is me. And I was like, whoa. Whoa. No, it's crazy.

I mean, my best friend, the girl I lived with in college, she was with me in Miami, and she with me in Miami and she's been sober and like she's in the program. And like a year ago, she was with this guy who was just, he was bringing her down so much. And I told, and then seeing her in Miami, she is so great. She's so happy.

She's like the best. She's, it was just, I do think everyone can change, but you have to want it, you know? Yeah, you got to change yourself. Yeah. No, I think everyone can change, but you have to want it, you know? Yeah, you got to change yourself. Yeah. No, I think everyone can change and improve. I was thinking about this, though. Do you guys think you know any enlightened people?

Yeah. Who? Well, not you, that's for sure. I wasn't fishing. He's close. He's close. No, I fucking. But do you know any, why are you giving that face asshole

do you know any like any people who are really enlightened Russell Brand Russell Brand I don't know you know define that though like like god

or like are kind of and i don't think an enlightened person would even say this but are like exactly that's above the the muck and the fray of life like people who really when things go bad are just like i'm seeing things clearly i'm not taking things personally i'm able to rise above this situation and and accept it for what it is yeah my one of my other college roommates bullshit yes no the whole time who which one yeah she's solid yeah she's a solid person and this whole time like she she's like this her twin sister and I are really like very similar in that we both have addiction issues.

But like she's, she's always like this enlightened old wise soul. And it's just like odd. You're right. You're right. There's probably some out there. I don't think the Dalai Lama is one. You don't think so? No.

Why not? Because he's born the Dalai Lama and everyone tells him he's like special. Oh, he's born the Dalai Lama? I think they pick you when you're a baby. You got to pass some tests. But I was thinking yesterday, I was like, if there was another Dalai Lama who started taking his gigs from him, I think he'd kill that guy. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. Wait, did you hear about the group of monks who were addicted to meth? So then they had to shut down the- No. That sounds like a fire movie. Right? No. i read this like new york post article i can fight i don't have it i'm looking it up right now it's uh so to that point you know everyone's got vices and if they're clean did you ever see eat pray love uh no i've

seen i read the book did you really read the book? Yeah. That's beastly, dog. Yeah, I was going through a breakup. Hell yeah. I was like, I need to go to Bali. I read Only Love Exists. Have you heard of this book? No. It's about this psychologist. It was like the first book I read in rehab.

Are we going to do a tally? But it's about this psychologist who, he's like this, he went to Harvard jail. You know how much i love that so um he didn't believe in anything like was not spiritual person was very like by the book science and then he got into past life regression therapy and now totally believes in it and he basically connected these two of his patients it's a crazy book but it makes me believe that there's someone out there for me he's really behind you know finding me but to be fair i was 20 minutes late to this podcast so you know what i mean like i'm always late so he's he's late because he's my soulmate he's got to show up somehow what why do you why do you like him so much the book the past life

regression guy because it uh he he changed his beliefs like he didn't believe in like a like heaven and stuff like that yeah and then he just read the book i can't i don't want to ruin it but ruin it okay i can ruin the book basically he brings you and your spoiler alert spoiler alert on this book it's a short book it's worth the read so he he takes you back like puts people in these deep trances and then or whatever it is and they they go back to their past lives to solve like their pain or whatever they're going through in this life because if you don't solve whatever the problem is you're facing in this life or the challenge, it carries over to your next life.

So this woman who really wanted to find love, she was talking about her past life that she entered. And this other guy talked about his past life. And they were the same exact stories. So he knew they were soulmates but because of patient confidentiality he couldn't tell them and he also didn't want to like connect them because if he was wrong then he would be fucked so he scheduled their appointments around the same time and he said they walked by each other and smiled but nothing happened and then she was moving to boston so he was like it's over he fucked it up okay but then

he was she was flying to boston from miami my vietnam um and he she was flying to boston and he was flying to new york there was a storm in boston so her flight got shifted to new york and she got on his flight and they saw each other in the like waiting area at the gate and they reconnected because they were like, oh, you go to this guy. And now they live in Mexico together

and have three children. It's fate. It's fate. And you can't interrupt it. And he stayed out of it. And he stayed out of it. And that's the whole point. And regardless,

maybe he's full of shit, but my whole thing is like, I want of course i want a partner but i've been forcing it so hard and like hurting myself that i'm like i just gotta let him come to me which sucks because i'm such a control freak and i'm like where is he i'm picking out my new apartment you know renovating my new apartment i would like him to be a part of it but he's not fucking here so i gotta do it myself. Yeah, you gotta let go of the tree branch and just fall

and you're gonna fall into like the warm embrace of the person you're supposed to be with. I know, but it's so annoying. Yeah, it's terrible. Well then plus, like it's not gonna be all like rainbows and butterflies

when you do meet that person. Like it's gonna be, it will be more. Okay, I think it will be. Let's not ruin my dream of that. What do you mean it's not gonna be it will be more okay i think it will be let's let's not ruin my dream of that what do you mean it's not gonna be rainbows and butterflies it's gonna be fucking horrible no it's gonna be great but like it's gonna be the best thing ever but you're gonna have to like you know it's still gonna be a thing it's still gonna be a challenge yeah i do kind of feel that because i feel like it took me a long time to figure out who i am and i'm still figuring it out but i'm like comfortable with who i am now so i'm like i'm just kind of

like enjoying wearing weird shit such as these glasses and wearing weird shit's fun what wearing weird shit is fun it's the best and i get self-conscious when i like a guy like even posting on the internet i'm like is he gonna want to fuck me if i post this video you know so now that i have literally no one inside i've been posting like a you know and it's just freeing I'm like, is he gonna wanna fuck me if I post this video? You know what I mean? It's the worst. Yeah, that's the worst. Yeah, that shit too. So now that I have literally no one inside, I've been posting like a, you know, and it's just freeing. And then you're also filtering out the people who wouldn't be the right match.

Cause if you like it, the person who likes you for you will like that you're doing that. Maybe not, I post a lot of misses, but it's funny. You gotta feed the elk though. You gotta feed the elk. I, I, uh. You gotta there i i uh it's so true i think uh yeah there's something too about when you sort of like when you let go they just like appear and that is with like everything it's related yeah but it's so tough i remember when i was dating like

trying to like find you know just forcing it you were out there brother it's crazy for you to say you were forcing it because like you're so hot and successful and i say that as a friend because all my friends are like is he single again i'm like it's not happening i'm not i'm not hooking you up it's not happening anyway that's really sweet of you to say uh but uh no just kind of like this whole like needing to like uh just to have something going on so you just feel okay you know what i mean but then but then when you like let go of that and you're like you're sort of i was sort of i remember when i stopped i like made a decision i was like i'm gonna stop like just trying to like date people just for the sake of like being out there and

just like release let go and then i met my girlfriend like three weeks later so yeah well that's why i like being back and forth for new york and la because it kind of it makes it really hard for me to do that you know it's so easy to get bored and get on hinge or bumble or whatever yeah but it's like if you constantly stay busy like my friend and i just were going to berlin in the beginning of march it's just like easy and i know that sounds like very privileged to say but i work hard you know whatever yeah that's what i'm spending my money on i have no savings i'm not gonna have children but the point is is like it's you you deserve that trip to berlin you work your ass off you have

like a couple high paying gigs well thanks but i mean it I mean, it's easy for me to be like, oh, I'm going to Berlin. That's why I'm, you know, it's easy. I don't know. I read the comments too much, I guess. People get mad at you for going to Berlin? Or they just are like, you know. You're paying for it. I know, but it's very easy for me to be like, well, I'm not going to date because I'm going

to Berlin for a weekend. You know what I mean? It's a very, it sounds, does that sound douchey? No. No, I think that's great. I don't think it's bad. I think you should own that. Yeah. I mean,'s not douchey no no i think that's great i don't think it's bad i think you should own that yeah i mean it is douchey but like you've earned that douche yeah i guess i'm wearing these it's fun to be yeah yeah fuck them yeah fuck them yeah but did you guys see kanye got married yeah talk about uh keeping yourself busy huh

i feel like do you guys feel like he i almost thought he blew up his life and did the whole crazy anti-semitic tirade tear down uh almost so the next person he dated he could like trust that they really loved him for him or or that they're anti-semitic but but i i guess i i saw more of like a a wounded soul who was like he's like you know what i'm just gonna be like a piece of shit i'm gonna lose all my money i'm gonna lose all my cultural status and then the next person i meet i can trust that they really want to be in this thing with me you think the woman who married him is like loves kanye for kanye no but i think he did it thinking that would help create that i don't i i think he's very mentally ill it's probably more accurate

he seemed to have a like basic distrust of everyone right it looked like he felt like he was taken advantage of by everyone i think so i i i can see part of what you're saying except the whole going declaring you're a nazi route that's a little yeah well i don't think it was the right i don't think it was the right move and i disagree with the nazi stuff 100 for for real for real i mean look at his face come on but if it comes out he's like it's all part of my master plan i found my true love once i said i'm in his head i think when he's with her yeah she's a real one yeah well i mean that's yeah i guess that's why i married her but it's a horrible investment on

her part um but he also married her after like a month that's that's also unstable behavior yeah yeah uh i have a some tea that randomly this guy told me so this could totally not be true but his uh friend hooked up with kanye well and she said he had a smelly penis anyway so all i think about is like he's a nazi with a smelly penis that's part of the whole blow up your life thing did the rest of him smell or just his penis and like honestly i didn't really ask for details balls you expect balls are the smelly part of that whole situation so for the the shaft to smell dude it's part of the method he's i'm gonna put like stink bombs on my dick yeah so the girl who likes going down on me is a real one yeah honestly the one guy the real one filtering process i've hooked up with one guy with a smelly dick and uh

probably a few but like soberly i was like oh okay uh he worked in music so whoa so maybe it's a music thing you know also it's like uh in the studio it might be like people who are in the studio i hooked up with one girl who had a smelly wasn't horrible but it was like too natural and i think it's maybe it's a lot of these people too like artists they're very into like they're not using the industrial soap they're using like i'm an artist they're at like a food co-op and they're like into like they're not using the industrial soap they're using like i'm an artist they're at like a food co-op and they're like using you know some weird thing that doubles as syrup and they're like this is what i use for my soap and i'm like right you might need like dial yeah i suggest uh for women low you know low bosworth oh yeah yeah she has low love like

she comes out with all these things i bought them all they're great i mean unfortunately i don't have any uh you know i haven't i haven't had sex in so long but um i can't tell you loser i know i was like trying to hold out for miami i literally and then it's like i couldn't even i roasted you bro, bro. I know. Anyway. Sorry. I think the Kanye smelly penis thing makes sense because if you see his outfits, it's always like denim jeans, big boots. Baggy. His shit is like so sweaty down there, I would assume.

Right. That's true. It's like his fashion is so fucking cute. He's in like six layers of military fatigues. Yeah. And that Sherman Oaks sun, that's going to- That's true. That gap display wasn't exactly not stinky.

And he makes the clothes like homeless clothes. It's like homeless chic. So maybe he's like taking naps outside of a Walmart in Van Nuys. Just brewing. Did you guys watch the we'll probably cut all this but we can give it a shot.

Did you guys watch the D'Elia doc? Of course I watched it. I was kind of hurt that... You were hurt? No, no, no. I was going to make a joke. I'm sorry. First, I want to say it's horrendous and ugly.

But at the end, he kind of is like, hey, people are going to say I made this... Because it was a comedian, right? He's like, people are going to say I made this video because I'm jealous of Chris D'Elia. But there's other handsome, successful comedians that are killing it. You mentioned like Trevor Wallace and Moses Storm. I was a little hurt I wasn't included.

Oh, me too. I watched that too. I was hurt too. I was like, bro. It's like, dude, I'm selling tickets and I'm like working out a lot. I was like, you could have thrown me into the mix. Maybe he's seen your set. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Well, yeah, hopefully it's more about the material. But then also, so Dalia's response to it has been interesting. You know, he goes really hard into being like, I got a kid and a wife and I'm a good guy. Did you see he posted a video yesterday of him rescuing a dog off the freeway? Dude, yeah. So I heard from somebody he hired that dog. I believe it. i believe that like he hired the dog dude i can't tell if you're joking or not i mean i'm kind of kidding but like

okay the person said it as a joke and then i couldn't shake it i was like he might have well the other timing i was like i was like he might have just got astray put it out there and then did the whole thing yeah yeah, yeah. No, definitely. I mean, when AOC went down to the border and it turned out to be a parking lot. That's hilarious. What happened? She went down to the border and posted all these pics because she was against this gate. And then the real photos got released and she was just in an empty parking lot.

That's hilarious. Yeah, she's annoying. but at least she's fighting for the right thing you know she is a little annoying but no i think she's when i watched that bringing down the house doc i was like look she has a star quality there's no doubt about it and then yeah you know she champions causes that i believe in but i'm just no i totally get it i don't pay much attention but some of the tweets I'm like I'm like no yeah I definitely wouldn't

want to hang out with her but yeah you would if you if you had an opportunity to hang out with her like go get lunch you would go to Miami

I'm from DC my friend my friend like lived in her building and like hung out with her oh really yeah he said she's cool he said she's cool

but like I was never itching to be like can i come so i did have the opportunity you little bitch whoa dude i love dc by the way you do oh i love it yeah we're going back in april and i just i just do tours of all the wait are you doing what are you doing arlington draft house yeah can i open for you guys yeah we got a bunch of people asking hell yeah i'm trying to get into that club no you can of course of course um dude only if you go to the air and space you know i took joe

and jt on a bus tour to see all the monuments so that was fun you gotta do historical shit i'm down i'm down i and i i'm going to the air and space museum he went to the fucking museum of tolerance at seven in the morning it was like saturday night we're like you want to go to a bar he's like i gotta get up early i'm gonna museum of tolerance yeah for those who aren't in the know is the holocaust museum yeah all right i know it's funny brother our buddy reggie's like um he's like would you want to do like a you know can i talk about this like cameras following you guys on tour i'm like that's gonna be me going to bed early at like like 10 10 p.m just like drinking shirley temples our tour is very boring yeah yeah it's funny too sometimes the stokers

they'll be like you guys coming out partying tonight we're like we're actually both going to bed and i think we're making a joke they go yeah yeah bed yeah like no no seriously i'm in the middle of family Stone right now. I got to finish that. I got to go crush that. No, yeah, I'm down to do that. And I could use my mom's car so we can power out. We can power out.

We don't need to get lost. We should get astronaut jumpsuits. Yeah. That'd be fun. They just remodeled it, too. i wasn't able to go last year because they're revamping it so oh that's why you're hitting dc again huh yeah i yeah i mean growing up there it it wasn't the best because whenever someone came to visit you you had to go see all the monuments but it's funny because my friends came to visit in college like hannah what monument is that i'm like how the fuck am i supposed to

know i'm like you have a book too bitch and they were like i don't know you grew up here and went and saw them and it was like lincoln memorial yeah i don't fucking know what it is obvious too like the washington one's the pencil yeah i know and that's the one she asked me and i'm like i don't know are you not into like founding fathers stuff uh no because i'm a woman and they kind of made it not the best for us huh it's easy to say who's your favorite president who's my favorite barack obama of course he was sick um or you know bill clinton yeah he was cool too just kidding um i don't know i don't know who my favorite president was when do you think we'll have our first just kidding um i don't know i don't know who my favorite president was when do you think we'll have our first female president um i think the world will end before that happens

really i don't know i think it's like women were naturally more unlikable and like if i if i'm being honest like as someone who it's like I constantly get – and I'm not like poor me, but I also do it too. I'm like, oh, she's kind of annoying. Or like my contractor – my first contractor for my apartment fired me for my attitude because I was like he lied. Literally.

He fired me because he lied about getting the permits and I was like, you have to get the permits today. And I called his boss and I said, am I going to get to him? It was a little extreme. I called his boss and I was like, is Andrew going to let me live in his house? And I was like, he lied about the permits. And I was like, and I was really upset because he wasn't responding to me. So I called his boss and said he lied about the permits.

And he fired me and said my attitude was bad. It was actually the same reason why the guy in miami they sounded exactly the same they said my attitude was bad and calling them a liar and debasing their character and it's like would it would he and he said my attitude but if a man had called him out for lying he wouldn't have said you have an attitude problem it's interesting yeah i'm not. I think about stuff like that a lot. I can never make heads or tails of it. I mean, and I can totally be a bitch. So like, fine, fire me.

I was glad he fired me because then I didn't have to like pay any fees. Right, you could work with someone else. Yeah, and now I'm working with someone who's great. But it was like a frustrating thing in the moment because I was like, he called my dad. Whoa.

And he was like, as a father i because i wrote in the email i'm paying for this this is my money my dad was like because my dad's a contractor he was involved but he called my dad to tell him and my dad was like why are you calling me like yeah like going above your head like he has to talk to a man to handle the issue exactly and i it's all and the money was coming directly from me. It's not like the check. Your dad had no involvement. No involvement. And so I said in the email, that is so sexist. That is so blatantly sexist.

He goes, as a father myself. And I wrote back, as a father yourself, you're three years older than me, dude. You just made a mistake. You said that? Of course I said that. I was so pissed. And I have an attitude problem. Old Hannah Banana going for the jugular so

so you think when when he called my dad and fired me on a fucking email chain with my like no hey i respected me you're not afraid to throw those hands verbally no because they've been thrown at me so i got uh you know what i mean give it as good as you get bring it bitch anyway i don't even know what the monuments are um so so you think when they take on more when women take on a more masculine kind of role it's inherently kind of off-putting yeah because i think it emasculates men too so it's like they're less likely to vote for women and it's not all men i'm not saying all men i'm not saying everyone i do it too it's just like an inherent thing that has like been in you know our something our founding fathers gave us so i think it's harder to get shit done with a woman because we are so skeptical of it and so i don't know i mean

maybe not when the world ends but i don't know what do you i think glenn close in air force one is very likable yeah she was she's the vp she handled shit well yeah and she didn't she's got a bunch of like joint chief of staff folks who are trying to undermine her yeah and she is just she's just cruising she's not letting them they're turbulence and she's not letting them bounce her around if she were in harrison ford's role i think she'd still be cool as She could do it. Honestly, you might want to go with Sigourney Weaver, someone who's got a little more strength up top.

But I... I literally don't... I've never seen this movie. Oh, you haven't? Oh, it's so good. What's it called? Air Force. When the president's on his plane,

it gets taken over by Russian separatist terrorists. They think he escapes through a pod. He's a badass former military guy, Harrison Ford. He stays on the plane to save his family to save the rest of his crew and to kill the bad guys and because that's what men do that's what men do and chips are down glenn close she was the uh flight attendant she's the bp no she was cool she was cool yeah no she she's like she's like steady in the steady in the storm is that the right phrase?

But Glenn Close is very unattractive. So it's easy. No. Men like Glenn Close. Fatal attraction. My dad actually on a date with my mom, they watched a Glenn Close movie. And my mom brought this up to me 20 years later. She goes, your father turned to me during the film and said, Glenn Close, that's a beautiful woman.

Stuck with my mom, dude. She's not that bad looking. Nice, Jake. Big endorsement well i mean she's in fatal attraction and she plays like a femme fatale yeah i guess i'd fuck her i don't know i'll throw her one she's also really young in this movie or younger no she's like 50 i think women get better with age personally yes um we're weird too we're we're writing something and we we need to have like an older paramour and we're we're we're looking at

susan sarandon and she is still dude she's still got it 75 80 still looking good hot she's getting up there um yeah i don't know the thing about i think i mean i voted for a chick before i voted for hillary i didn't like her very much though but i voted for her but then there's good historical evidence of like really badass chicks that dudes but they they the dudes do try to undermine her but you know like margaret thatcher or someone like that well my parents they did vote for biden i will say that but they didn't vote for hillary because you know they didn't like her and i was like and then they watched the documentary on hulu and my dad's like you know i kind of like hillary clinton i go how'd you see the documentary before the first before you vote the first time would you have voted for him my dad goes like he still admitted to it but to be fair my parents were small business owners they didn't

realize that trump was like you know the first time people wanted to believe in trump and then they were proven wrong and whatever but are they proven wrong do they think that don't they still love him my parents oh no sorry my people no i know yeah there are people who i don't like the guy but yeah i mean he has a following but like so does chas dean you know what i mean he's good he's good hair i'm a big fan of the hairstylist yeah yeah not that's kid? I'm a big fan of Cher's dude. Oh, Cher's dude is a hairstylist? Yeah. Yeah, that's not Cher's kid. He's got billboards on Franklin. Is he the one with the dark kind of sleek hair?

Dude, you know who he looks like? He looks kind of like Chad Kroger. Whoa. The Nickelback. Your name's sick, dude. Whoa. He's like a hairdresser in Highland. Jake, can you throw that on the screen?

Can you imagine? He's like a hairdresser for Vikings.. Jake, can you throw that on the screen? Can you imagine? He's like a hairdresser for Vikings. Can you throw a comparison? Yeah, yeah. Dude, that guy's who cut everybody's hair in the world of the Northmen. They were like, Chaz, come cut my hair, Chaz. Make me beautiful before we take over a village.

What else, dude? I mean, this is your podcast. You tell me. Three topics topics we covered them are those new nikes yeah dude i bought these the other day with joe i went to cool thank you i was a little worried about them but i like them no dude i got a deal on it too i got 10 off on them because they're the ones on display they're fresh dude yeah i've never had a pair of nikes before are those are those prada first These are Prada. Wow. I got them in South of France.

What's it called? You did? Yeah, I got them in Bordeaux. I'm not bragging about all the countries. Yeah, well, no. It was the first year I ever had money to travel. I didn't study abroad in college. My parents were like, no, you're not studying abroad. You're going to fucking die. They're probably right i would have um so i've been traveling a lot and i like

that's it's the best i love europe did you go to bordeaux in france no i went to where's the film festival con con con total stink fest but i got these shoes stinky how it's just like it's it's just not that the beach i i mean so my mom ended up coming with me because i wanted to do a solo trip and my mom was like i don't want you to go alone so she came and um we ended up having a really good time but it's not like the nicest i thought i thought you're talking about the french because they don't shower i thought i thought you were going back to stinky pussy energy no oh stinky penis stinky people yeah we have something against the french on this podcast oh yeah i can see that jt yeah yeah i said it was racism and other people it's not racism it's

prejudice you know when people get all like well the french fucking hate you too so you know what i mean i feel like do they hate me because i just got a dm from their best soccer player mbappe and he said i was a chill dude who looks like i know how to party so i don't know i don't know sounds like we're kind of cool sounds like we're all right yeah when i was seven what now i'm sure you made an impact oh yeah i went out to the disco every night me and my five-year-old brother we'd slam down a ham and cheese croissant and then we'd go dance to techno my dad had to come get us from the club at like five in the morning i was seven and i had met the dj dj you were seven yeah dj filth was there wow no it's true i was seven

and me and my brother would just wander around towns and they let us into the discotheque because they thought we were like funny kids and then i ended up just partying there and dancing it's true. I was seven and me and my brother would just wander around towns and they let us into the discotheque because they thought we were like funny kids. And then I ended up just partying there and dancing. It's actually where I had my first drink. I had like. At seven? Yeah. I had like five gin and tonics and then I was pretty buzzed.

And I ended up hooking up with an older girl. There was like a 12 year old there and me and her mac and cheese did a bit. Nice. What do you mean mac and cheese? Like ate mac and cheese or like you. We kissed. And they wanted to hire me to be like an m because i was i was i was outgoing as a seven-year-old and they're like dude you it'd be really funny to have a seven-year-old here who was like on the mic getting the crowd hyped and then uh and i was like yeah but i gotta get back

because i have a karate tournament in a couple weeks so i'm gonna have to punt on that and head back to the states do you ever think about where your life would have gone if you had opted for, you know, promoter at the club instead of Karate Kid? I think it would have burned bright, but it would have burned quick. Like, I don't think at that age I had the self-discipline to not get too caught up in the lifestyle. Right. Yeah, definitely not at seven.

What would your DJ name have been? DJ Bam Bam or DJ Diaper. Yeah. I like DJ Diaper or DJ Diaper. Yeah. I like DJ Diaper. DJ Diaper is sick. Yeah. Because I was young. I was like a kid.

You should be like DJ Diaper, my shit don't stink. Unlike all you Frenchies. And they liked that I was kind of like, you know, ignorant that way. Yeah. I was like, fuck the French. Fuck the French. Yeah. Just get raps.

Yeah. They're like, wee wee, wee wee. Are you Scottish? We French. Fuck the French. Yeah. Just get raps. Yeah. They're like, wee wee, wee wee. Are you Scottish? Wee. Fuck the French. Fuck the French. Yeah. Fuck the French.

Fuck the French. It's fun though. It's fun. But yeah, I went there when I was seven. It was cool. It was cool. Legit. But I'm a man of the people.

Like when we went on like a cruise when I was like 11, like I wrestled all the native boys at the beach. Like I was sounds racist yeah shit i was trying to sound not racist that doesn't sound racist to me yeah i know i'm just kidding thanks jake no but i mean i don't mean i'm not judging or whatever obsessed with colleges i am obsessed with colleges because okay i'm not okay no you're obsessed with where people went to college yeah i i was at 25 correct and then you surpassed me in the career so you're right it doesn't really matter because you didn't graduate where'd you graduate from i graduated from lmu when i was 27 26 okay yeah i don't know i it took a lot i i went to usc which is like great school it is a great school honestly but i failed ceramics and didn't graduate on time so I don't know. It took a lot. I went to USC, which is like- Great school.

It is a great school, honestly, but I failed ceramics and didn't graduate on time. So whatever. And I studied film, so you can't even get a job from that. But I was a straight A student in high school. I worked so hard. So I just think it says something where you went to school is that you're a hard worker. I guess not all the time. I mean, my SAT scores were- I got 7 1800 on my sat that's good it's not usc good the admissions

process now seems crazy though i think i think i don't know all the extracurriculars and all that kind of stuff do you do you do all that shit yeah i was captain my high school dance team national art society editor of my newspaper. That's solid. I know. That's a fucking resume. Yeah. So I think, I mean, I kind of burned out and then got addicted to Adderall, so that says something, but I don't know.

That's what everyone does in college. Weren't you a big Adderall guy in college? Oh, yeah. I was prescribed it. Me too. But I think it was making me super depressed and insane it changed my personality made me like so yeah and then i would i was super because i have an addictive personality so i would if i had to study i'd wake up at like six take two and then let the adderall wake me up and i'd

study all day but i would take so much And then I just like stopped my prescription after college because I was like, I can't continue this way. Yeah, it turns you into a husk. You know what I would eat? I would eat, I would go to 7-Eleven, I'd get hard-boiled eggs and then three tall cans of Bud Light to go to sleep because I had taken so much. Yeah, the booze helps take the edge off.

That's the thing too. It's not just the Adderall. It affects just trying to heal yourself from it. It makes you do other things that aren't good for you and i remember i was talking to this guy matt and he's like i was drinking like a tall cane he's like don't you have midterms tomorrow i'm like adderall bro that's a tough one when your friend steps in and say hey man i've been watching you and i think there might be an issue yeah i had my friend john daniels one time i was doing a lot of Molly. And he was like, you need to stop doing so much Molly.

I'm like, I'm not doing that much. He's like, you had some yesterday before lunch. Where'd you go to lunch though? Yeah, it was a night. It was like at Laguna Beach. We were like on the water. I was like, we had more fun. Everything was beautiful.

Yeah. You need homies like that. Yeah, in college because my freshman year i since i didn't you know drink at all in high school i go to usc which is like just the you know such a good school and no but such a party school so i would i was going out monday through saturday yeah and i got so drunk and this girl who was like so judgmental total bitch meredith she goes i saw her in the cafeteria the next day she goes and i remember seeing her so i was like i remembered that night so i wasn't even that drunk she goes yeah i saw you last night way too drunk for a tuesday oh god okay meredith

fuck off yeah but meredith has a point i think about i thought about that a lot as i was struggling with my addiction i was like meredith really called me out early do you think i always feel like there's with like all kids they have to have like you're saying in high school you never drank and you sort of like held it all like do you think at some point people have to release the valve and and it either happens in college or after college but But at some point, most people release the valve and they go kind of overboard with the partying for like a few years. Yeah. I mean, that's what I realized in rehab. This is the third time I've brought it up.

Just because I, you know, in high school with like the D.A.R.E. program, they're like, you know who goes to rehab? Losers. You know? And it's like, I imagine it was like the kids who set the dumpster on fire who'd be in rehab and it's like no it's actually like ceos and really talented musicians like and the bunk i was in they were like we put you in here because this very famous comedian who does not never said he was in rehab was in it and like, I think it's like, eventually you just kind of break, you know?

Yeah. And my old sponsor used to say that she would say like, the kid who gets addicted to opioids, it's always like the star athlete. And they're like, oh, we never guessed. But it's like, if you're going so hard into something, if you're like an extreme person, you're going to go extreme with the you're like an extreme person you're gonna go extreme

with the drugs and alcohol too yeah yeah i think too i remember when i was a kid i was just my parents didn't really drink i was not exposed to partying at all like only a couple times in my life and i also thought like drugs were like i thought if you did like cocaine you were just gone like you're automatically an addict and you're fucked so it's kind of true you're right i haven't met like a part-time cocaine addict yeah well well the thing is like but then when you when i tried them i was so like sheltered from it as a kid but then in high school and i like tried this stuff it was so i was like oh that's it and so i went like way overboard and then

college just like but the same thing too it's like with the drinking i like whenever i drink i just had to go like balls so i had to get as fucked up as i can until i go to sleep well yeah i think maybe that's the disservice we do when we educate kids on drugs and alcohol is that we're like they're basically like i had friends in junior high were like i had a friend my mom had a friend who smoked weed once and they died yeah and you're like well that's not possible really i'm sure there's an instance but like that's not how and then so they they boogeyman you so much on it yeah that then you're like oh it's not that bad and then you realize like the real pain of it is like the incremental kind of escalation and then yeah i don't know what the way to frame it to kids is, but you almost got to be like,

look, drugs can be fun. And there's times where they will be additive to your life. But more often than not, they have like a slippery way of like kind of taking you over and making things harder. But maybe a kid couldn't understand that as a message. I don't know. It's tough because I deal with that too. It's like i don't really

drink that much anymore because yeah i just go straight to blackout but this thing is like i think i have this like inherent shame too about it where it's like uh whenever i'm drinking i i think it's just from my the way i was brought up where if i'm like hungover i feel intense shame like like i'm fucking up my whole life because of that one night like you know what i mean i when i had my brain scanned the doctor was like you have such high anxiety my brain works overdrive and not it's like overdrive on stupid things like i'm overthinking everything yeah so he said for me two drinks feels like everyone's normal level of anxiety so my brain is like oh this is great i don't have the stop button

yeah so even getting that piece of information has made it very easy for me to stop drinking because i'm like i'm physically wired to not handle it yeah and it's totally out of my control you know so it it could be how you were, but it could also be how your brain's wired. Oh, totally. No, I think it's- I think it's a combination of both. I think it's a combination of both, yeah, yeah. It's like a weird, well, it's just like a,

yeah, when I was a teen and stuff, I drank because I was really shy and introverted. And I was like, when I got drunk, I'm like, this is who I wanna be, you know? So it's like, for me, it was like when i got drunk i'm like this is who i want to be you know so it's like it for me it was like the gateway to being like the more outgoing person your iron man suit or something exactly yeah that was me with sex because like i wasn't asked to prom like i was like not like hot in high you know i wasn't like a hot 15 year old and uh so when guys like liked me in college liked is a strong word but like when guys were interested in putting their dick inside of me i was like oh my god like

that's that's like seemed valuable to me and that's why but i would need to get drunk to do it right yeah slippery stuff i love sobriety though do you love it how do you feel about it it's it's the best you know what's you know what's so great about it? It's like when you're sober for a while, it's like you feel like every day you're just like building your life more and more. That's my favorite feeling. It's like we get like a month of sobriety

and so every day you're just sort of like, I'm doing this, I'm doing that. I'm like building my life. Whereas then when you drink, it feels like I just sort of like step back and I'm resigned to, I don't know. It's just sort of like, it feels like giving up a little bit. I don't know what that feeling is.

I haven't had a drink or smoked weed in like two months. Yeah. To join you guys in this. Yeah. And I will say it makes me more excited. Like doing the podcast, I'm more excited to do it. Right. Like if i drank yesterday

i'd be like fuck i gotta work today like it would be work yeah but then because i'm sober i just have more natural energy and i'm like it's gonna be fun doing the podcast i'm gonna live this shit yeah and it just uh yeah i think anytime you not and not for everyone and it all depends on where you're at in your life and what your ambitions are but like um and obviously people can succeed when they're getting fucked up but like for me at least like you're saying when i drink or do drugs it's like it's it's slowing me down a bit yeah i'm adding weight to the journey up the mountain well i also think i use it as a way to escape my anxiety or whatever i'm feeling or the rejection and and so without it you have to find things that are going to make you happy.

So like I live in – I mostly live in New York, but it's weird because I saw this psychic who was like – she's really good. But she is really good because I was like – Plugger, what's her name? Her name is Tara, but she's on a sabbatical right now to write a book. So she's not taking on new clients. Every time. Every time. But she goes, you know, you got to stay sober.

And I was like, I am. And she's like, are you? Because I hadn't told anyone I've been abusing prescription drugs. Like literally I told no one. She goes, be honest with yourself. We both know you're not. And I was like, whoa. Whoa.

And she was like, you're about to move. And I was like, at this point, not planning on coming out to LA. And I was like, oh, well, I guess I bought a place. That's a big move. She was like, no, it's bigger than that. You're going to be a lot happier. And then I literally got this opportunity to move out here. And I was like, I've been so much happier.

And I've been forcing myself to find things and go after things that make me happy because I don't have alcohol. I don't have weed. I don't have, you know, and I don't have the Adderall to keep me going. So it's like, I have to do, you know, it's just more powerful that way. Yeah, totally. I think a lot of it is like, as a kid, you're just so curious to try things. It's not necessarily like drugs or alcohol. It's just like, I want to see how I feel. Like if I touch the stove, do I get burned? And then you get burned. Kind of the same thing with the alcohol. It's like,

do I drink this? And then all of a sudden you're drinking every night and you're kind of like slowing so you have to kind of like feel in my opinion you have to feel it in order to know like that's not the right way right my dad was telling me yesterday there's right now alcohol consumption is on like 20 or something and i think it's because people are drinking so much in covid and fucked up their lives like there was such a waiting list to get into rehab like i i called like all these places and they're like we're full like that was like getting into a great college you must have been psyched uh yeah i went to tiger woods rehab okay uh after it went public though honestly i went to nicole they went to berkshire rehab yeah they're pretty cool yeah i went to uh where did i go um i thought the name was

tiger woods rehab well they took it down i go there i'm like i'm working on my golf swing got sober hit my irons real clean right now um nicole the one in tucson yeah nicole richie went there and that's who i want to be so is that sex rehab there too yeah it's everything i got recommended by an old sponsor to go there. Remember when you called me and I was like, don't go to rehab, you fucking idiot. Well, you were right. That guy was kind of bullying me. It was a little bit, look, I think he was trying to help me, but we had met 10 minutes earlier.

I was like, hey man, I like the way you talk. He's a very compelling person. He's kind of famous. I was very captivated by him. I think he was aware of that. He knew the effect he had on people famous i was like i was like uh very captivated by him and i think he was aware of that he knew the effect he had on people and i was like i'd like you to be my sponsor he goes first thing you're gonna do you're gonna go to rehab in arizona for a month and i was like you just met me and then he was like and then right when i say that i'm like you just met me are you sure that's necessary at this stage he goes listen asshole you

got a chip on your shoulder you think you know better you need to get the fuck over that and go to rehab for 30 days but dude you and me had just signed our first pilot thing with embassy row yeah and i was like i don't know man like my career is actually finally starting to get some traction i can't leave he's like fucking bitch huh he's like it's all about your career he's like i took a year off from my shit to go to i was like well you're already a millionaire and then he was like he's like this isn't gonna work and i was like no i don't think so but yeah i called you and you were like you're not going to rehab for porn yeah well i was like you just signs it i was like you're gonna you just signed something you're gonna leave i was like you're an idiot but i will say sierra tucson is great because it's not it focuses it's like

it doesn't focus on addiction itself like it's not like don't drink it's like what is the problem it's a mental health uh facility so like whatever you're going through like i had just gone through some severe trauma so it was just like dealing with that and all different types of therapy like emdr and um emdr i think is really helpful i also did yeah where you hold the two paddles in your hands and it alternates yeah i cried about my high school crush and i was like how did i get here the first time i did cried about this girl in seventh grade he broke my heart and then the therapist was like that's the root of everything i was like really i was like we dated for a month my whole life yeah i know i was like this guy in high school she's like go back deeper i'm

like i guess i dated this guy in sixth grade who cheated on me by fingering a seventh grader she's like that's the one yeah i know i'm like i don't think so they're like no that's it i'm like fuck dude really that little thing tripped me up that hard but i guess that's what it is yeah and uh i think yeah the further back you go because it's those little things like when your brain is susceptible to like rejection all this stuff that's what you're i don't know but i also did ketamine therapy this year how's that the best i mean i loved it whoa so did you go into the k-hole or whatever it is people call it i did once what does that feel like i mean i just cried a lot and like i just like called my friend and i was like i love you so much but you were doing this at the

doctor's office so you were there like you call your buddy and stuff while you're in the room yeah i've got to bring my dog oh no that's fun they tell you to put on music that makes you happy i listen to dua lipa she's so good so good i don't know 10 bangers i miley cyrus have you heard flowers yeah what do we think i've heard oh do you know it's based on a bruno mars song yeah i know okay that was crazy have you seen this i'll show you this it's pretty wild uh if you guys want to keep chatting i can pull up the video it's so good she's so hot she is i love her new smoky voice yeah that's awesome it's we could listen to it if you guys want wait hold on i want to show this video because this dude nails it and

then we can pull up the tiktok i'm sure she cleared it with bruno mars did she not she had to right yeah because that song that bruno mars song is played on like so many weddings and it's like oh you gotta meet you know it's like so about finding a person and hers is about like loving yourself. Insider.com says it's about her ex-husband, Liam Hemsworth. Yeah. I haven't listened to the song. So he he dedicated the Bruno Mars song. So he dedicated the Bruno Mars song.

He dedicated the Bruno Mars song, I Should Have Bought You Flowers to her. So her new song is like a word for word response to that. Check it out. I can borrow some flowers Whoa yeah but that's so clearly like there's no way she just ripped that like it's based off that yeah that's what i mean oh yeah but is this guy saying she ripped it no no he's saying like it's a response he was realizing for the first time that because i didn't know i heard the song i wasn't like oh that's the bruno mars song i just didn't hear it but then when i saw that she took each line it was basically like being like fuck you on it i was like whoa interesting that sounds it sounds good to me those little bits oh it's good yeah yeah a fucking banger

and the music video she's so hot it's, she's beautiful. Kind of a different topic, but how do you feel like when like comics, you like post a bit and then someone's like, oh, you stole that bit from Louis C.K. And then you like go and listen to Louis C.K.'s and there's like had like a few different lines in it, but totally different premise. Don't ever catch me. No, I think I once tweeted something and Rachel Wolfson like messaged me and she's like, like I tweeted something very similar and I was like oh shit and I remember seeing that tweet it was just like years ago and I was at a Barry's boot camp and like listening to something and like I can't remember what the tweet was but I was like I'm so sorry like and I deleted it because I think with the internet it's like you're seeing stuff all the time but then when you experience something you're like is this mine I also think there's something like Louis C.K., okay, he's ground, whatever.

But there's also just a common thought. Parallel thinking. Parallel thinking. So I think with the internet, it's so easy to be like, oh, you stole this. You stole this. Or is it just kind of a basic- Some of the Amy Schumer stuff, and who knows the truth of it, but I know there's people who are very devoted to the idea that she steals.

But some of those bits, I was like, i could see 30 people coming up with that bit like i think with anything like you know her show life of beth yeah you know there's a movie called life of and of beth or there's life and beth a movie with aubrey plaza that came out at the same time and it's like i just think amy Schumer is just so fucking basic and like, isn't that creative? Oh, shots fired, Hannah. I'm not a fan. Going after the king you best not miss. Well, I used to be a huge fan and then I met her

and she was so fucking rude to me. And I was like, no longer a fan. Yeah, I've heard some dirt too. She was rude? I was, there were four of us on the red carpet. And of course she hugged everyone in front of me and i'm the only white girl and i'm so excited to meet her and she tries to dodge me because she feels like you guys are on the same corner so she can't be nice to you because you're

which is so insane to me because i'm like you have everything you are so fucking successful how am i even a threat to you this is my dalai lama point it's like everyone can be nice but if someone's on your corner all of a sudden you're like you know and i heard the demon comes out i heard she texted another very famous female comedian saying you're stealing feminism that's my thing which is just like the funniest fucking thing to say bro i had to text that to chad time. He was doing some bits and I was like, bro, that's kind of... I'm kind of the feminist here, bro. I don't know how to ask you to back off, dog.

I was like, what's the deal with men? Yeah, dude, come on, man. Come on. Man, you need to do better. That was my punchline. Men, be better. Yeah, that's the name of the special.line men be better yeah that's the special name of the special men be better it's funny too because it's like actually it's like i'm not even mad at the message it's just

there's no guy in the world who can deliver that and not sound like a fucking douchebag no you know what i mean any guy says that i'm like who the fuck are you chief yeah you grab tits you grab tits no does that make sense no i don't whatever guy says that he's usually just trying to have sex with a woman you know totally you know i'm very proud of dude sometimes i'll just get proud of myself like i'll be like i'm a good guy oh we know yeah i know you know and then sometimes i'm like yeah i got a lot of integrity i've never done this i've never fake liked a girl's comedy to like try and hook up with her what a hero what a hero hey i think that's pretty good that's pretty good there's a lot of fellas out there who'd be like hey look that bit we should

get together and write and then like two hours later they're trying to bang i always took the direct course and they'd be like did you like my scent i'd be like no but i'd like to bang still why don't we write sometime like why don't we just yeah well you know chad and i used to write together at this uh starbucks i came a couple times the grove yeah dude yeah no that coffee being on sunset with the smelly guy there too you guys we went to both yeah i was there um were you what was that like 20 yeah that was like 2016 all the tags dumbass was that 2016 yeah yeah somewhere in there yeah because i remember i remember uh trump was about to be elected it was like during that era we were all so psyched yeah we were so pumped finally i was like are you ready are you ready for the big

day i was like i'm gonna get my lifted truck i might get a truck i might uh get a truck you get a bronco oh my god if you get a it's so annoying because i love bronco so sorry what color are you gonna get black i think murdered out black bronco bronco is sick it's cool right yeah all right cool i want to get like an old bronco that's souped up but they're like 150 000 oh like the old ones from the night those are beautiful i just want but i want like the ipad like or the phone hookups and all that shit. But those cars are better looking. Like what they drive an American Pi 2 when they head out to the lake.

Yeah, that's a good looking car. I want to get a Toyota Supra. They have new Supras out. Oh, you're going to go smaller. Well, yeah, I got the truck. Are you going to be rocking two? No, I mean, this is like a dream thing. Like I would love to do that, but it's not in my plan as of now but i'd love

to do that did you have what was the car you had in high school subaru wrx that's right say that again subaru wrx sdi sick i just did the whole alphabet my dad has a a cadillac um like a 19 or 1970 something cadillac where it's like know, the back benches and the front benches and it's black and he calls it the license plate is Daddy Caddy. Anyway, he's bringing it out here. Are you going to drive that? Yeah. Amazing.

The Daddy Caddy. It's so hard to drive because it's like long. It's so long. Yeah. I love that. The Daddy Caddy. Yeah, and then for father's day we made sweatshirts that say uh daddy caddy on the back it says daddy screw nice let's let's answer some cues but can you explain to the listeners what your parents do they have an interesting job yeah they have a um well they just sold it they did oh nice it's called surf bro which is a

they have a franchise of a bigger company called Surf Pro. And my brother has one as well. But it's like fire damage, water damage, crime scene cleanup. And because we live close to D.C., there's like, you know, like – I guess there's not more crime in D.C. But like just crazy crimes. Like this 70-year-old couple, this guy was an ex-military, ex-Navy. His daughter got pregnant by a guy in MS-13.

And he was like, you have to get an abortion. Like you're not going to bring a child into this world where the child might join a gang. So the boyfriend hired gang members to go kill the parents. But they came with knives or machetes not knowing this 70 year old man is an ex-navy seal so this 70 year old man beat the shit out of these ms-13 people and there was blood everywhere and the wife went to the window and like banged on the door for help and it was so bloody and then they they survived the old

couple survived and the gang members got so fucked up they ran out and anyway my parents cleaned up that you know the house because there was so much blood and like whatever and they actually caught the gang members who tried to kill them because the bloody sock got left behind because they were running from the seven-year-old navy seal it was insane and it was like a headline like ex-navy seal like blood everywhere and my dad has this he cuts out the article and frames it and like puts it in the office and i'm like dad like it's like and he'll do that like it's like these horrendous crimes like man gets shot like man shoots himself in the head like one time they went down to the base this woman's house and her son lived in the basement and he shot himself in

the head on the mattress. And she was like, but it's a Tempur-Pedic mattress. Could you guys just cut it in half so the guests can stay on half a Tempur-Pedic mattress? Oh my God. That someone suicided on? Yeah, that her son suicided on. Anyway, so there was a headline about that.

My dad has them printed and then matted and framed. Hilarious. His office is like yeah anyway can you imagine being on that mattress i mean yeah i've been on it i've stayed at the w hotel guys i'm interrupting this podcast so you know once again that we are well first off give us a like subscribe get all that good shit out of the way. And also, check out the Reddit if you want to get on some deep discussion. Chad goes deep Reddit.

Some good, solid discussion. We also are on tour. We're going to Spokane this weekend. We have tons of dates coming up. We're coming to a city near you. Our shows are super fun. We do stand-up. Then we have Q&A, so the audience gets involved.

You're going to love it. So go to chadjt.com to get your tickets for a city near you we're also brought to you by legends athletic greens athletic greens thank you so much for being a sponsor of the podcast you guys are the best i love optimal nutrition i love getting my nutrition in daily in a good like i just mix into my drink and i know i got my vitamins i got my probiotics i got my prebiotics i got my all kinds of biotics on top of the vitamins vitamins a through z i love hello fresh guys i cannot stress it enough hello fresh is epic and they give you like a cool bottle too and it's just the best way to feel good if you want to get on top of that so uh it's also a good life hack you know you're getting your nutrition

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deep 22 and use code deep 22 for 22 free meals plus free shipping america's number one meal kit check him out all right let's get back to the show hey bros i fucking love you guys i listen to the pod on the way to work and it gets me in a great mood and keeps my stoke up so i'm ready to face the challenging day ahead uh he says a lot more nice stuff then he says the other night i was at a bar i was talking to this very attractive lady and she commented on how relaxed my energy was. I had never gotten that compliment before. I think listening to the pod has helped me with that.

That's fine. That's fine. Okay, here we go. I'm also looking for a bit of advice. Also, I live in a small mountain ski town in California. I'm almost 30 years old and all of my bros have girlfriends or fiancees and

I feel as though I'm getting left behind. What's his number? Most of my friends are younger and I feel like I can't relate to my peers because I'm single and I'm starting to feel like I have no hope of finding a partner. I have a really awesome job. I get to ski every day and get paid to do so, but it's difficult to meet women here and the loneliness is starting to take a massive toll on my mental health. Yeah, so like how can this guy meet chicks i don't think that's the answer or not worry about meeting chicks yeah i think he's gotta like go to berlin you know what i mean i think he's gotta

leave the mountain ski the alps ski the alps go to a different mountain yeah i think you're right find yourself and then you'll find your partner yeah and dude the being left behind thing that's the thing i'm gonna focus on do not sweat that life is mountains and valleys and like you have friends who are envious of you that you haven't locked it down yet and the more you learn about yourself i think the better partner you'll find who fits into your life and you fit into theirs so i think you know there's something great about meeting your person early and settling down, but there's also something really lovely about fully developing as a person

before you find that person. So I would not worry about keeping up with them. You're on a good trajectory and I think there's a lot of examples of people who found it late and it was better because of it. Yeah, like I was actually talking to my friend about this last night,

my friend who I went to Miami with, who's in a relationship for eight years. And I was telling her, I was actually talking to my friend about this last night, my friend who I went to Miami with, who's in a relationship for eight years. And I was telling her as the longest standing single person of the friend group, like it is hard and it feels like you're being left behind. But then someone else gets single and it's like people get single at different times. And then they're like, I've gotten really close and I've developed my friendships. I have really strong friendships, like my best friend from second grade grade like she's like a sister to me because she was single at a time and like other people I just have the best friendships because

like I'm always single so I kind of feel lucky in that way of like I have these really deep relationships because you know when they get out of relationships I'm here waiting baby like let's go do something fun let's go you know so i think

it's actually a gift to be that person because you get to deepen your relationships with your friends with your homies yeah yeah i think enjoy the time he has now too it's like enjoy your single life you're living in a ski town that's awesome skiing every day enjoy that you know he's gonna look back on this and want that back at some point you've never heard a married person say i wish i would have got married earlier never heard that from anyone like man i wish i locked it down like five years earlier yeah i bet i'll be saying that and from either side i mean sometimes people are a little like you know i've seen women who are like it took them forever to propose and a little frustrated about that but

they're always grateful for the time now and then once they have kids they're like we're so glad we went on all these trips before we had kids and stuff like that like uh yeah i'm saying i don't think i want kids and you don't believe me but i don't believe you i said that yeah you were like we were made to procreate when i told you that that sounds like off camera jt i don't know if on camera jt believes that okay i believe in a you know i think life is about whatever you want it to be what are you trying to fuck me on this thing i think a good play for this guy as like a fellow snowboarder would be like ride the lift you know you can meet some nice ladies you know and you

kind of i mean you want to be careful you don't want to like force yourself on dude yeah don't don't no don't get off the lift just keep riding in a circle or do the bunny slips because i'm trying to learn i guess that's kind of crazy yeah then you could teach a girl well yeah don't hit on the kids yeah no i think he can make that adjustment no yeah what mountains he had i gotta. He's in Whistler. Listener, listener. Hey, I'm mad fucked up in Uber on the way home. Why do people take out dicks at bar? I think it's sad because if someone sees you take your dick out in public, you're fucked.

That's the world we life in and that's sad. But welcome to life. So if you're talking dick out at bars right now, maybe check the kind of bars. I read Meditations by Marcus Alioleus, and I never take my dick out at the wrong time. Everyone loves it. Never hurts anyone. Never hang when people aren't okay with it. Thoughts on dick out bars.

I'm high as shit, and don't do dick out bars because it sounds illegal and bad. Ash Small Lawyer. Thanks. Dank Lord 6969. I will say this, dude. I'm high as shit and don't do dick out bars because it sounds illegal and bad. Ash small lawyer. Thanks. Dank Lord. 69 69. I will say this dude.

What? I have always blanketly said on camera that you should never take your dick out anywhere. But I have always known and trusted that even though I say that there's a special few out there who realize they are the ones who can get away with it. They are the ones that know the time and the place and the way to reveal the dick out in a setting like that and this is one of those guys to everyone else you can't do it but to this special person i trust your judgment who is it lewis ck what are you talking about you can pull your dick out no never mind do you know yeah you should not be saying that do not pull your dick out at a bar. I think you should manjana at the bar.

Smart. Smart. There we go. Technically, you're not doing anything wrong. You know, you're just- You're doing everything right. Yeah. Fourth of July party one time, I did the reverse manjana, the fruit bowl to a big group of friends.

That's awesome. What is a fruit bowl? You stick your dick in balls between your legs and then you bend over and it looks like a fruit bowl, a big group of friends. That's awesome. What is a fruit bowl? You stick your dick in balls between your legs and then you bend over and it looks like a fruit bowl. I don't know. I don't make it up. I just follow instructions.

Also known as the goat, the goat. And then afterwards I was like, I was all hyped up and I'm like, and then my buddy's girlfriend came up to me and she's like, JT, by the way, that fruit bowl was the funniest thing I've ever seen.

Whoa. Yeah. Yeah. Cause it, cause like it's not scary. You know what mean yeah it's not sexual i think it's it's like uh like whipping it out whipping it out is an aggressive move but coming in with the mangina that's class yeah yeah that's true look the penis is at an all-time low culturally. Hide it. Cut it off.

Get rid of it. Wait, but who's the guy that skid the people? You know that movie, Silence of the Lambs? Buffalo Bill. Yeah, he did Mangina. Mm-hmm. So there's some fear with that one as well. That's a good point.

But I would say go Mangina over Fruit Bowl. Right. I will say this. When I was seven in paris hanging out in the dj world i was going to pull my pp up oh yeah you're you're dick bonjour par dick bonjour dick to be fair you're a seven-year-old on five gin and tonic so i was hammered wobbly dick du jour par 25 pounds one ounce dick um all right those were some good cues should we get to the next part yeah chad who's your b for the week dude dude my b for the

week is with thomas edison whoa i'm for real dude i'm I'm reading this book that my girlfriend got me about Tesla. I forget the guy's name, but Louis whatever. He was the first guy to make video camera. He's the guy who invented films. But Thomas Edison, history's coming back to let us know that that dude was not cool because he took the credit for it. I think he took credit for a lot of shit he's up to some nefarious stuff he killed this dude i'm not through with the book but that's where everything's kind of all the clues are pointing to that he killed this dude so he could take credit for being the first

guy to make movies yeah he stole a lot of people's ideas right like he wasn't the best inventor he was the best at seeing who the best inventor was and then taking whatever they had done he would kill them take their idea and he'd be like thomas edison and because you you know what it is too he has a solid sounding name like when you hear the name thomas edison you're like that's an american i mean i remember then i can't remember this guy's name louis le pierre yeah and you're reading the book about him yeah and it's probably is the book called his name yeah maybe i should write to the author be like well i can't remember this dude he sounds like a bitch yeah thomas edison that does sound strong thomas edison yeah yeah that's i know when i auditioned bringing it back to me when i

auditioned like when i was a child at like 12 i cast or yeah casting director but i mean nyu student was like hannah dickinson that's a strong name and i think that is a strong name it's a strong name do you remember when we had our big fight which one the one where you kicked me out of your car because you call me joey because i bullied you into it yeah that's gonna be i'm gonna make that my beef of the week, actually. You go first. What's your beef of the week? My beef of the week is Miami.

Every time I go there, I go there for a guy and it never works out for me. Damn. It's just not your place. It's not my place. Who would have thought Miami is not the place to find love? It's crazy. There's no signposting there that would tell you that. I know. And everyone on roller skatesates you assume they're all in love and here i am going down there and i can't even get a guy's dick in my mouth because

yeah i mean i thought that's what brunch plans were dreaming yeah exactly yeah mimosas a code word i mean i guess i should have known that my neighbor in new york wasn't gonna meet me for brunch in miami if you won't even walk across the street in new york but um yeah that's my beef of the week is that city but i will be back you know actually i my friend is like hannah find a new city to go to that's like miami but not uh nashville nashville's like two it's not there's no beaches i need a beach myrtle beach okay i'm not asking for your advice just suggestions denver i want to go to denver i've never been there denver's cool

just suggestions Denver I want to go to Denver I've never been there Denver's cool yeah they got good beaches um might be for the week yeah that time

you kicked me out of your car I think of that I thought about that today actually and I wondered if you were going to bring it up because I was really

I mean I had really I was in a really bad place at the time and I had gained a bunch of weight and I was like I refused to get on

well I would get on the scale and I'd be 20 pounds heavier than I was. And I'd be like, but the scale's broken. So then I'd go buy a new scale and it'd be the same weight. And I was like, am I heavier? But I like was like eating a lot and drinking a lot. And I was just really unhappy. And then I was like, John, do I look fatter? And he's like, no, no.

And I was like, tell me I look fatter. And he's like, no. And I'm like, fucking tell meatter and he's like no and i'm like fucking tell me and he's like okay you're a little doughy i was like get the fuck out of my car and i kicked him out on the side of the road for like hours we were riding together and for hours she's like you promise i'm not heavy i was like you're not you're not you're not and she was like screaming at me she's like tell me tell me i was like you're a little dumb and then she's like get the fuck out of the car pulls over on like glendale boulevard i'm like 30 minutes from home i open the door all pissed off the last thing i said he was like

go do some volunteer work and i slammed the door and you know i didn't you know i went home and got a snack got some fun dip that was a funny one chad who's your babe of the week uh my babe of the week is uh the roundhouse restaurant sun valley i don't know if you guys have heard of it it's on the middle of the mountain on bald mountain it's like from like the 1930s you know 1940s it's got icicles all around it i got the croque monsieur dude fucking ham and cheese sandwich with cheese melted over and they serve fondue and maybe the best name sandwich like every time you sit on the menu you're like i want it yeah also let me get the croque madame the what the croque madame no they had an egg to it oh fuck come on roundhouse but anyways they have

fondue so i it's it's you have a view it's like it you know it's like you're almost in like switzerland or something you just sort of like mountains snow fondue i had a shirley temple uh croque monsoor like it's just the best it's my favorite meal i do it once a year it's my favorite meal of the year wait sorry where it's sun valley idaho okay the roundhouse so it's on the middle of the mountain which is sick and they have icicles all surrounding it which i think is cool i really need to learn how to ski or snowboard and you know who was in there one of the bachelors which one i don't know how do you know he The Bachelor? Because my sister was like, he's one of The Bachelors. He had like 12 roses in his hand.

Yeah, my sister had me walk by him with her. So hopefully she wanted to try to initiate conversation with him. But it didn't work. Probably better for it. I was meeting a hinge date in Chelsea Piers at the bowling alley. And there was a guy turned around. And I always feel weird approaching hinge dates because I don't want people to know around that it's a first date from an app so I like try to go

and I couldn't remember his name from the app so I was like hey hey hey and the guy turns around and it was Tyler Cameron oh really? so good looking and I literally go oh my god I thought you were my hinge date and I was like in my

fucking dreams and then at a time camera was like because i was just like so shocked and i was like laughing to myself like oh i thought this guy was my hinge date and he was like kind of laughing he's like well enjoy your day and i'm like how could i possibly now you know right yeah you just talked to your hinge date about how you saw ty. Yeah, and he goes, I bet this is pretty disappointing. And I was like, no. And in my head, I was like, yeah. That's real. God, he's so, yeah, he's a handsome dude. He's beautiful.

He's so fucking hot. Whoa. Yeah. And he's even hotter in person, honestly. Whoa. That's crazy. And I really thought I had a shot because he laughed a little, but men don't care about that.

You know what I mean? It's true. They care. Do not make me laugh she made me she made me laugh i was like so turned off you either you either laugh or get hard you know what i mean like you don't get both um uh my baby of the week is this uh i think everyone has one of these it It's like this really badass, like genuinely badass, like scary badass. She was scary. This scary badass chick from high school.

Her name was Shay. She ended up dating an MMA fighter and cheating on him with another MMA fighter. And she's living the life. And she's still with the other one? I don't think so. I don't think she she she's a wild heart she can't be tamed by one or two or even five mma fighters but dude we get to freshman year high school and my school is stacked with smokes it's just hotties left and right i mean you're

you're in the big leagues here and then she was she was she was the top one. Like she was beautiful. But bro, she was intense. Like she would, I saw her fist fighting another hot girl at the beach one time. They had boxing gloves on, but they were throwing shots. Like she was strong. And then she was so gnarly that on her binder, you know how people would put photos in like the laminate around the binder? Hers was a car that was mangled up. And it was a car she had stolen and crashed one night.

And she put that on her fucking binder, dude. Can you even imagine trying to talk to this girl about anything? You know what I mean? I'm like, hey, did you see last week's OC episode? She's like, no, I don't watch TV because I'm living TV, man. I'm crashing cars. I'm banging MMA fighters. I'm kicked out hey, did you see last week's OC episode? She's like, no, I don't watch TV because I'm living TV, man. I'm crashing cars. I'm banging MMA fighters. I'm kicked out of my house.

She only lasted at her school for like a month. I think the deans were afraid of her. They tried to give her a detention and she flipped on the double bird and chokeslammed him. Is this person real? I swear to God, real, real. This is all true. All true.

Is she alive? Yeah, I think she is. Yeah. I would have double checked that. Well, because I talked to Schreider and he said some guy with a big dick in your high school is now dead. Yeah. Yeah, he's dead. So I'm just saying, like, I don't know.

That guy had a huge dick and he's dead. Yeah, he's dead. And that guy was intense. This girl sounds like she has a bigger dick than him, so I just want to make sure she's still alive. I know she had problems with drugs for a a while but i think she came through the other side so i'm praying for her i think she's all right okay cool yeah yeah that big dick guy though he's dead yeah i mean you get you get blessed too early me and me and sharder talk about that guy a lot i mean he brought him up with me on his podcast so he made up a story one time where he goes he

goes he was like i went to uh servite was this other high school he's like i went to their water polo game he didn't go to the school he goes uh he goes a couple of their players got ejected from the game and injured so they didn't have enough guys so they called me out of the stands and asked me to play and he's like i went in there and i played and i scored two goals and i got thrown out for fighting he would just he would just lie he would just lie he would just make up stories and expect you to believe him so maybe he's not really dead you know what i mean no it's open casket no he's dead by the way beef of the week open caskets not it's weird what no i want no big casket you do yeah because i want to they can make you look so good and i want to look weird whatever not you specifically anybody we'll find out um but

i want to be buried in like a gucci suit cool anyway that'd be cool i'm not into material things um i want to be buried in board shorts yeah i want to get buried in board shorts and be shirtless just ripped okay well then that's gonna look weird i want to be buried in a no fear tank i think that's cool no fear as you're dead and then they have my hand just going like this just like this dude they should put you they should put you up on like a cross, but a cross made of surfboards. Yeah, yeah. Just hang you up there like hanging ten. Dude, that'd be so fun. That'd be sweet. You could pull off the Jesus. That's an interesting way to think about like dudes is like how would they look on the cross?

Yeah, yeah. Like would they look convincing? You would be a convincing Jesus. I'd be like, yeah. Just smiling. What up? It's kind of cool up here. What would the nails be, though?

The nails would be... Or would you do, like, ties, you know? Hmm. Maybe, like, a... What are the... Like, a lei? Like, it's two leis that are wrapping you to the surfboards? I think it'd be Velcro.

Oh, yeah. It'd be in a Velcro suit. Just... That's cool. Then when they have to bury me, they just... Yeah, you can hear it every time. Yeah. I do think by the time we all die, we're going to have to go me, they just... Yeah, you can hear it every time. Yeah. I do think by the time we all die, we're going to have to go in the burner

because there's not enough room to bury bodies. Right. The population is declining, though. People aren't boning. Yeah. I'm doing a cryo chamber. Oh, dude. I'm going to try and stay alive for like a thousand years.

I'm going to freeze you and then I'm going to be like, Jake, I need a clip and then melt you and you'll be like, all right, and then you just freeze you and then I'm going to be like, Jake, I need a clip. And then melt you and you'll be like, all right, and then he'll just freeze you again. Jake, we need a podcast clip. That's hilarious. Chad, who's your legend of the week? My dad.

Yeah, I saw my dad over the weekend. I went to Idaho to see my dad. He's just the best. He's a beast. Yeah, we just just the best you know he's a beast and uh yeah we just had the best time did some skiing did some snowshoeing i was so i've never snowshoed before i always thought that you just float on top of the snow i didn't realize you actually like go down with the snow oh i assumed you floated too yeah i thought you were like floating i mean you you when you step on it you like i would go in like a foot each time when you do what

snowshoeing oh right I thought you just I thought they were made so you just like you're just floating on top yeah back to the Jesus thing bro you walk on snow that's what I was yeah that's what I was fucking hoping well we went yeah and then uh yeah it's just good time so that's awesome some solid tattoo fun with the dad. Always. Being a beast. How many pull-ups does your dad do? He would do 300 a morning. Wow. What?

Yeah. 300 pull-ups? Yeah. David Goggins, dude. Oh, yeah. Every day for how many years? Must have been 10 at least. You must have the hottest fucking dad.

No, he's like 75 now. No, he's like 75 now, so. No, he's hot. He's hot. I mean, yeah. Yeah, totally. Sorry, dad. Wait, is he single or is he remarried? He's remarried.

Oh. Yeah, guys like that don't stay on the market. Okay, my psychic, the one who knew a lot of shit, told me. You're going to fall in love with a dad? Well, he's older. She's like, he's a lot older than you so i'm like you know i'm going to steely dan concerts i'm like doing everything to find him

damn i could see that for me though oh yeah who's your legend of the week well now i feel bad because my dad's helping me move and he's been a great guy so my dad is also a legend but i was gonna say miley cyrus i mean her transformations and her ability to change so much and like know herself so well in her confidence and like I just I love her she's amazing she's got a great voice she has such a good voice and she just really adapts with the times you know what I mean you have to and she's not as I still think bangers is like the most underrated album, but. Is that the one that was after like wrecking ball and stuff? That was wrecking balls.

Yeah. That album's amazing. Yeah. Dude, my legend of the week is my boy, Trevor. I mentioned him last week. We were going through some fantasy beef. We were in our final,

final week of the season going for the championship. And then as you all know, there was a tragedy during the Buffalo bills game, but it looks like Hamlin's on the road to recovery. So that's an incredible uplifting end to that story. And so it was undetermined who was going to win the game. Most likely Trevor would have won. I mean, I had Tee Higgins going, he can blow up, but Trevor had a lead. He had Stefan Diggs. I also had the kicker from the Bengals, but the guys didn't know how to settle it. So they voted to do a DraftKings final weekend. Trevor was adamantly opposed. I accepted it because I was like, the league loves chaos. This is what it's going to be. We side brokered a deal. Now, a lot of people aren't going to like this. A lot of people aren't going to like this, but we decided we're co-champions. Oh, nice. decided we're co-champions. We're all going to be champs. Now, you know, this is a competitive

group of friends and it's a competitive country. We want there to be one winner, but we decided to go the other route. We said we're all going to win, but actually the pars, me and my bro are getting a lot of credit for negotiating our way to co-champions because we're most likely going to leave. Yeah. I was going to say, were you going to lose? And then that's why you're co-champions. So I'm sending everybody the clueless video where she talks about negotiating for better grades. Like it's almost better that way that we were able to finagle our way onto the trophy. But I just got to say, you know, Trevor's a madman and going to war with him verbally, you know, he's going to go for the jugular.

And he went for it a couple of times and we were throwing blows, but that's why I respect him. He's got a demon in him. He likes to fight. He's not afraid of anything. And I'm sorry, I've told this story before. I got to rip a story real quick. We're in Newport Beach.

We're at the saloon. I brought my brother's friends, Trevor and Robbie. Strider was with us and my brother. They're all under 21. I go to the jukebox to put on a song because some girls came by the table. I'm like, all right, it's on. So I go put on somekebox to put on a song because some girls came by the table. I'm like, all right, it's on So I go put on some music. I love song. Uh I put on florence and the machine dog days are over. Okay, so I I look back

See how the action's going There's some dudes at the table and they got that puff in their chest like they want to cause some shit I'm, like oh fuck so i'm picking the song ready to go back over there. I look back my boy. Robbie's covered in beer He's covered in beer. I'm like, oh fuck we got punked. I walk back over there. I look back, my boy Robbie's covered in beer. He's covered in beer. I'm like, oh fuck, we got punked. I walk back over there. I go, Robbie, what happened? He's all fired up.

He goes, he poured beer on my head. So I broke his fucking nose. I turn and look, there's a tall gawky guy with his nose busted, blood everywhere. I'm like, oh good. Yeah, good, get him Robbie. But I'm like, but the whole bar is starting to turn on us. They want to kick our ass

because they think we started it with the punch. So I go, we got to get out of here. We got to get out of here. So I get all the guys together and the whole bar is starting to turn on us. They want to kick our ass because they think we started it with the punch. So I go, we got to get out of here. We got to get out of here. So I get all the guys together and the whole bar is starting to like surround us. And I'm like, we got to go. We got to go. We got to go. So we start pushing out of the bar. We leave the bar.

Robbie and my brother and Trevor out in front. And this hot model guy who is friends with the broken nose guy, he starts following us out on our way out to Robbie goes, it's like, enjoy your broken nose. Cunt to the broken nose guy. Very funny. We're walking out. The hot, it's like, enjoy your broken nose. Cunt to the broken nose guy. Very funny. We're walking out. The hot model guy's not going to let us leave. He's like, you think you can break my boy's nose and get away with it?

He's like, you think you can just break my boy's nose and get away with it? Strider turns to me. He's like, hey, if they make a move, we drop them. I've never heard Strider talk like that. Yeah. Strider said that. It was pretty awesome. We get out there.

I'm arguing with the guy. I'm like, dude, your friend was an asshole. He got socked. We're sorry about that. We're leaving. The bar is yours. We're leaving. And then the guy goes, no, fuck that. At a camera, right? Robbie comes in, just throwing haymakers at the guy. So I go to tackle him. I can't get him down. My brother grabs his other leg. We tackle him. I get on top of the

guy. I'm like, what, what, what's up dog? What's up dog? I'm like, what the fuck are you doing? At that moment, the whole bar comes running at us. They're stampeding like an army. They're like, ah, running to kill us. There's one guy at the lead who's a nice looking guy. Shorter guy, seemed friendly. He looked kind of heroic leading the charge. I hop off the guy. I don't know what to do. I go like this.

I go, timeout. I call timeout. I call timeout on the fight. I swear to God, literally 40 people stampeding towards us. They all stop. They respect the timeout on the fight. I swear to God, all literally 40 people stampeding towards us. They all stop. They respect the timeout in Orange County. Big sports culture. I go, hey, it's not what it looks like.

We're just trying to settle this guy down because he was coming after us. We're leaving. We're leaving. They're not sure. Each step we take back, you know, we have our faces to him, but we're walking backwards. Each step we take back, they take one step forward. They're like, are we going to beat these guys up? Are we going to beat these guys up?

I'm like, no, no, no, no. I go to get in the car. This big UFC looking motherfuckers like, hey, man, you and me one on forward. They're like, are we going to beat these guys up? Are we going to beat these guys up? I'm like, no, no, no, no. I go to get in the car. This big UFC looking motherfuckers like, hey, man, you and me one on one. I'm like, please. No. I'm like, I just want to leave my brother surrounding him. I think my brother was going to try and choke him if he went after me. Good move by my brother.

But we both would have died. We get into the car. I'm like doing a head count. I'm like, we're ready to go. My brother goes, no, Trevor's not in the car. I look outside and Trevor is shoving and screaming at like 10 guys and he just won't back down he's like fuck you let's fucking go fuck you i go chris go get trevor my brother hops out of the car headlocks trevor brings him into the car we drive away as we're

driving away cop cars come beaming by the other way like we drive away we got away with it but that's trevor like trevor was outnumbered 40 to 1 and he didn't want to run he wanted to stay and fight and we fought for a week over this fantasy football championship but there's no one i would rather share this championship with than you trevor moylan you are a fighter you are a king and you are an honest good competitor so i'm grateful that we get to share that trophy that's awesome i love that thanks chad what's your quote of the week oh no wait jake what's your legend of the week oh yeah uh so my legend of the week is my new friend mateo um i went snowboarding on friday and i i always go alone and i put in headphones and i like do my

own thing don't really talk to anybody meditate yeah, I guess you could call it that therapy, something like that. So I ride the lift with this guy, Mateo. And I'm like, hey, man, you riding alone? Just kind of like break the ice. And he was like, yeah. All of a sudden, we're like, he's about my age. We have similar interests. We're like really getting into it, like having fun.

And he turns out to be a super nice guy. He's going up next week. He invited me again. So shout out to you, Mateoo you're a legend for meeting random strangers that's awesome yeah that's my legend chad what's your quote of the week my quote of the week comes from moneyball best movie ever yale economics and baseball you're funny pete that's my quote oh by the way we're wearing glasses because uh we decided to wear glasses yeah you fucking bailed five minutes in because you bailed i didn't bail oh i bailed for a second and i was like

well you know what went through my head is i was like is this fucking up my vision oh do those actually have things in them? No. But I just got my head. Well, I got really, I was at, these are Monster, Gentle Monster. And I was in downtown last night. And Gentle Monster has some hot glasses. But I was really feeling myself.

And then I'm like, maybe they're too big for my face. So then when you took yours off, I was like, maybe I need some video time without without them i'm a big glass i like i dig wearing the glasses i think it's fun um i forgot about quote of the week but i will i'll my quote of the week i guess is the tattoo i got which is yeah notice these um yeah i was looking at those too i got think happy thoughts because my grandmother used to say it all the time she used to say think happy thoughts and like whenever i get really sad i just think of my grandmother saying think happy thoughts that's cool and my dad says it to me now like my grandmother because it's so weird seeing your parents get older you know and i don't want to say i said that to my dad i started crying when i was on an edible once and i was like you're getting old and he was like fuck off but like anyway you're kidding because we were

making a gingerbread house and he was like you know when you were a kid and i was like oh my god you crossed over into grandpa territory but i just don't have kids anyway um my quote of the week is from a stoker on the reddit thread so we thought we had corrected the sign behind us to be level because my brother accidentally bumped it and it looked like it got adjusted right and we were stoked because we left it crooked because we wanted it to be organic and honestly we kind of got a weird kick out of people being upset about it it's clearly crooked but a dude on the thread was like yo it's not it's not balanced the way they say it is and then um people were starting to question him and so

dude was like i think the tripod is off balance or the painting is and this is what the dude said his name is always talking shit fire name i already like this guy he goes well my dog i accounted for variables like camera angle or leaning tripod by using the consistent level of the boards using the lines where they touch on the wall behind the picture frame to take the measurements. Now, maybe all the boards back there are slightly askew, but if that's the case, my dogs have bigger problems. But from my calculation, you can see that the top left of the frame

extends about an inch over that red line. He drew a line across it. So I so radically drew. And furthermore, my esteemed stoker, the bottom right of the frame, extends about an inch below the board line there as well. In conclusion, the squadron shouldn't tilt the frame approximately. The squadron should tilt the frame approximately two degrees counterclockwise for optimal alignment.

Cheers, my dog. Dude, nice. To have a guy like that paying attention, man. Blessed. Is that a quote? It feels like a long ass quote. Yeah. What's your definition of a quote i don't know where'd you

go to college yeah something you can say in one breath you should get that tattoo to your back just like all dumb yeah i might join the reddit cast is over yeah join the reddit chaco's deep reddit i don't understand reddit how it works um it's i think it's just like it's like for groups of people to uh talk about specific things christmas gift did you do that no they have like a secret santa and i guess bill gates is in it so everyone tries to do it so what did he give as a gift i guess he gives you you put in what you want and i guess he does like a very extreme version of whatever someone wants like the best version it's like winning the lottery to get bill gates in the reddit nice yeah that's

cool can i quote another guy off the reddit yeah uh it's kind of a beef too but fuck it uh it was my birthday and i started reading the reddit and this guy commented jake lost me when he called himself a creative and uh fuck you guy i am a creative i like to be creative so tell him get on camera and say that dude fuck you guy yeah and you dad that's a quote jt that's a quote that's like a reddit how is that more of a quote than what i said because yours is like the longest i'm just all right it's your show okay i didn't you if you have a definitive answer for how long the quote's supposed to be i'm all ears but you're just speaking in vague generalities about how i fucked up but you're not giving a better substitution so in my mind that's a waste of my goddamn time and all you're trying

to do is raise my motherfucking blood pressure and congratulations sister you have not done it check what's your phrase of the week for getting after it oh i forgot we were doing that uh my phrase of the week for getting after is uh i'm hungry i'm so fucking hungry are you hungry right now i haven't eaten today i'm so hungry too yeah madman what uh hannah what's your phrase we're forgetting after it well i've been listening to a lot of miley get it right oh hell yeah so uh get it right i've been waiting all night long i'm fucking this up. I don't know.

We'll just play the audio while you guys do that. Yeah. Of the song. I micro-dosed yesterday and I was like thinking on life and I was like, you know what? I don't think if you think about life, you'll ever find answers. You just find suggestions. And I was trying to think what I would tell to someone if they were asking me for advice. And I would just say, just boogie and let's go. I like that.

There's a really good poster called Let's Boogie. I'll get it for you. Please. That'd be nice. Thanks. Guys, thanks for listening. Keep writing reviews. Hannah, thanks for joining us.

Thanks for having me. It's a pleasure. It's been, what, like three years since you've been on the pod? joining us. Thanks for having me. It's a pleasure. It's been, what, like three years since you've been on the pod? I know. And I, yeah, I'm happy. I'm so glad to be on it. I asked, how long was I asking you, JT? I was like, what am I doing the podcast?

What am I doing the podcast? Yeah, you've been pestering us. I've been pestering. We've been excited to have you on. We're so glad you came on. I think it's going to be a banger. Yeah, it's good to see you. Yeah, good to see you guys.

Later, dudes. When you need someone to guard you Starts to have the girls beside you Going deep Going deep Let's go deep I'm going deep I'm going deep JT