Going Deep with Chad and JT - EP 276 - Dong Matthews Band (Joe Maresse and Kevin Fard)

Episode Date: February 2, 2023

What up stokers! This week we got Joe Maresse and Kevin Fard. We try not to talk dong. Can we do it? 

What is up, Stokers? We have a combo that you have never seen before. This is Kevin Fard, the Schmoll, and Joe. This is the Schmoll and the biggest dink in the West, possibly the East, too. chat and jt.com for dates we're coming to st louis next we got uh sacramento we got san francisco coming up we got portland we got florida so psyched for that so uh get your tickets at chat and jt.com also get some discussion going in the reddit chad goes deep reddit and that's it for this week let's start the show What's your dream? Going deep Trying to change it Hey Joe What you doing with that hog in your hand? Hey Joe, I said what you doing with that hog in your hand?

I'm going down to the center of town To shoot a load on my lady now I said I'd call my lady with another man Now I'm gonna shoot my load on both of them Hey! I'm gonna shoot my load on both of them. Hey! That was sick. That's great. Give it up for Schmoldaddy, everyone.

It's a great song. Dude, that was actually really good. I was vibing to that. Oh, yeah. Just lean it there. That's my baby. That sounded that was actually really good. I was vibing to that. Oh, yeah. Just lean it there. That's my baby. That sounded like Don Matthews' band. All right.

Oh, I didn't put the mic up. Did Bob Dylan write that song and then Jimi Hendrix did it? Or is it a Jimi Hendrix song? No, I think that's all along the Watchtower that you're thinking of. Did he write Hey Joe? I think it's an old song. I could be right. It's like an old blues song. One of his biggest hits are covers, right?

For Hendrix. I mean, he always does them better. But I think he might have been topped in that instance. Who might have been topped? I think he might have topped Hendrix. I don't know about that. Well, I can guarantee Hendrix never wrote the lyric, shoot load. He might have talked about loads

you think so? you gotta listen to the RU experience I haven't seen his transcription but shootie your load I don't think that was in Voodoo Child it's from the leaves the leaves wrote it nice

now we don't have monitors here, but we're good? We're good. We're good? There's monitors on. Yeah, you can see yourself on there. No, not sound monitors. Oh, no, you got headphones. You can listen.

You can listen to headphones. Yeah, yeah. But what's up, Stokers of Stoke Nation? This is Chad Kroger coming in with the Goin' Deep with Chad JT podcast. I'm here with my compadre, Jean-Thomas. What up? Boom clap, Stokers. We're here with the Goin' Deep with Chad JT podcast. I'm here with my compadre, Jean-Thomas. What up? Boom clap, Stokers. We're here with the biggest dong in the West, Mr. Joe Morisi.

Yo, guys. And we're here with the reigning king of the schmoles, Kevin Fard. Howdy. And this is our final recording in this studio i'm saying goodbye to this apartment this seems like a fitting farewell i'm literally the movers are coming at 2 30 yeah everything's falling everything's falling off the walls are the movers tilted did you did you ask him like who they're sending over some buff i met the guy yesterday because he helped me move a couch for a friend who took a couch does he look like he can handle the load like could you come in them no like the

your oh the size of the apartment yeah yeah he's strong as fuck yeah gabe big dude just one dude two guys two guys is he gonna be wearing did you say can you wear a tank top or shirt tank top or shirt that you don't you don't care i told him to wear um like a one piece okay so you did have a conversation about his attire yeah yeah i think it's important yeah i'd like to look on yelp how would you dress if you were moving um bottoms i think i would go with what i'm wearing right now this is a vuori you guys know Vuori? I'm not a spokesman. I've never heard of Vuori. It's like... I've never heard of Vuori.

Vuori? I don't say it right, but it's like the Lululemon for men. Yeah. That's what I like. Lululemon has men's stuff. Yeah, but I'm... It looks great. I'm a Vuori.

I'm this guy. I'm on this side. Nice. And it's... You guys want to feel it? Sure. It's nice and soft. Now imagine wearing that.

Imagine that cuffing your balls. Joe, feel it. Oh, wow. It's technically called a jogger. I think it's a jogger because it... Tapers? Tapers at the end. Yeah.

You can lounge in it. Apparently, it's supposed to be for working out or jogging but i don't do that in it i don't want to get it dirty you don't want to get sweat in there yeah so i would wear that clean and then yeah i would wear a tank top but one of those really thin tank tops so you can see like most of the pecs you know so basically like your nipples popping out yeah and i'll just be busting through and you're just wearing the dole shirt right now yeah i got it for christmas did you really i figured i didn't it's the only place i can wear apples popping out. Yeah. And I'll just be busting through. And you're just wearing the DILF shirt right now. Yeah, I got it for Christmas.

Did you really? I figured it's the only place I can wear it. Who got it for you? My sister. Oh, nice. Yeah, you can't really wear that pushing the stroller. Well, you could. Actually, it could be appropriate. You guys like it?

Yeah. Yeah, I like that shirt. Have you worn it pushing the stroller? I haven't worn this pushing the stroller, but when I'm pushing the stroller, I think it screams out DILF, that you don't even need the shirt. Yeah, that's true. Right, the kid does the most work for you. You know, people thought that was a bit.

What? The Harrison Fard thing. Yeah, I've heard that from people as well. They're like, there's no way he named his kid that. Yeah, they think it's a joke. Oh, and who's saying there's no way? Are these people with kids? Just some of the listeners.

Some of the listeners? Oh, okay. Some of the 14-year-olds? You think I'm lying to you? Why would I lie about the name? I think our demo skews 25 to 35, if we're being a little more accurate. I think because they learned that Chad's name was Tom. Oh, yeah, you're right.

They took from that kernel of Hollywoodification that everything was a lie. Let's keep it a mystery because everything's BS. Your listeners don't need to know my son's name anyway, so it could be real or it could be fake. Who knows? They don't need to know his name.

Yeah, they don't. But his name is Harrison Fard. Yeah. But are we doing a bit or are we not no we're not doing a bit i don't know they don't know we are it could be maybe we are doing a bit if you watched air force one with your son yet no we haven't watched um actually we haven't watched any of those movies with him yet i i don't think you should ever show him a harrison ford movie and i think you should let him discover on his own that his name is similar to a hollywood icon so like when he's like eight yeah come home and be like yeah i love that let him figure it

out he'll be like dad did you know about this like he'll have like you know his phone up and it'll be like you know harrison ford and indian jones and then i think you should go no i had no idea that's a good idea yeah i like that a lot we didn't like we didn't name him as an it wasn't like oh harrison ford is a badass he is a badass but it wasn't like oh let's name him after this we were going through all the first names and then harrison was the first like name that we sort of both really liked and then it took like a few minutes and then we're harrison for oh and oh oh it still sounds pretty cool right it works it is cool but do you think we call him harry do you think it sounds cool sometimes i think names work because there's an established uh connotation to that name so do you think harrison fard sounded i think it's a good name

independent of that but do you think it sounded better because in your subconscious it sounded like harrison ford and you're like that's a strong uh connotation possibly but also as a rhythm so bump bump bump harrison far yeah i think the syllable matchup is nice so it really was the first name independent of daddy's last name and then meld together. I thought it was cool We think it's cool. We like Harry my whole family likes that. They call him Harry. He's I'm assuming he's gonna be go by Harry And your second choice was Paul Newman Fard, right? actually my Newman being

One name. Yes. My second choice was burt lancaster ford both great names i like that joe and you said you like that chair more you're in you're in the throne right now yeah i feel like dynamic in this chair i feel like more mobile the couch usually my sack gets like uh you seem done i feel like I sit on my sack when I'm on the couch. So I like this here. Do you accidentally sit on your dong sometimes where it just like gets under your ass? Yeah, I've had that. And I think you had this once was the epididymitis.

Oh, I've had a huge sack. I had that because I was back when I did like Uber and Lyft a lot. You got epididymitis? And I would sit down so much. Yeah, sitting on my sack all day. So your nut got infected because you're sitting on it too much? Yeah. Whoa.

You got to watch that. How does this couch make you sit on your sack? Can you describe that? Because I feel like there's not a lot of give to it, so your sack just really kind of sits up. Right. Your sack doesn't go down into the couch with the with your ass that i i have no idea what you're talking about your sack is like your sack comfortable i mean my sack's not touching the sun all right well you well maybe you have better support in

your uh undies maybe i need that maybe that's what it is what are you wearing i'm wearing a haynes boxer briefs that's what i'm wearing dude i've converted to one underwear what and i i think i've got my whole it's all just one underwear it's a calvin klein and it's the i think they're called boxer briefs like this yeah yeah um but it's like a specific one see that how smooth it is? Oh, that's nice. It's probably like the Manscaped kind. Yeah, it's not loose right here, but it's not too tight.

So it goes down like a boxer brief. Is that boxer brief? Is that what they call them? Yeah. And the Calvin Klein brand is very soft and luxurious, and I just... Yeah, that sounds like the Manscaped ones, too. I stick with them.

Nice and soft. Yeah. Fantastic. yeah it sounds like the manscaped ones I stick with them yeah fantastic yeah that's good okay I have an announcement yeah that's good places I need to start I'm gonna retire I'm not gonna the whole podcast

we've already talked about cock and sack we're done I'm a respected father and lawyer and i'm not going to talk about dick or sack for this whole episode bullshit no dong talk no dong talk i don't see that i can do it well what are we going to talk about i'm curious what uh motivated you you to take on that challenge. I just felt it a few minutes ago. I just felt like I need to get off the cock. That would be breaking my rule.

I need to grow. I need to be a clean comedian. Okay. grow i need to be a clean comedian okay and i need to talk about more mature stuff okay i can't just fall back on dick do you think well do you think also i noticed you talked about and we can pivot off of this because it's it's kind of in violation of your aspiration but do you think covid and being in quarantine made dicks did you want to talk about dicks more because of that just being around your own dick so much no yeah what what is the basis of that what why do you think

it would make me want to talk about just anecdotal observation from my end i noticed that when covet happened and you went into lockdown your brain went dicks oh no no no i think it was prior to that for a while i know what you're saying but it's incorrect it wasn wasn't dick. It was sack that you saw me sort of teabagging. It was sack that I was bagging. I mean, I put it all under... You might be right. You separate the dick and sack. I might not have been hyper-observant to it,

but I feel like everything under that umbrella. I mean, if you're saying the sack amplified the dick, then I wouldn't argue with you on that. I have no idea if that's what I'm saying. If you're saying the sack amplified the dick, then I wouldn't argue with you on that. I have no idea if that's what I'm saying. If you're saying my focus on sack also made me amp up my focus on dick. I would check Instagram and I'd click on Kevin and it was dick. What do you mean by dick? Like singing a song about Joe's dick? Just talking about dick, singing about dick but do you mean but what do you mean by dick like singing a song about

joe's dick just talking about dicks singing about dicks yeah i've been emphasizing the dick i have another announcement i'm back at my sabbatical on dick is over yeah i i thought it would be a an interesting bit to try but i'm really not interested and i i don't even know what i would want to talk with you guys about what a 180 well how's how but i want to talk about no i think that's i think that's the right choice yeah i mean i didn't get much support on that you went straight into a dick question no i'm supportive i'd love to try it yeah i remember when i showed you t-bagging and halo yeah i think that sparked it was through the headphones a literal i heard a light turn on but let's hold on i i've been talking about constantly talking

about dick before that i even had yeah lost quite a roommate and he got drunk and he freaked out on me because he's like oh you're fucking talking about his dicks like he he had a meltdown on me so um it's it's been a part of my life so How did you respond when he snapped like that? I didn't get angry or anything. Maybe I laughed or something. We were playing beer pong or something. Did you hear him? Huh?

Did you hear him? I mean, I understand because, you know, he's not a comedian. So it might be a lot of dick talk. But on the other hand, what would you like me to focus on? I don't know. I think it's just one of those moments he was uh he was drunk and he was letting loose right like i'll give you another example when people are drunk and they say stuff and you think when people are drunk they say stuff that they deep down inside mean but i'm not going to name names here, but there's a person who, um, and I'm not going to name the

name, but there's a person who, uh, is a comedian and they work at like one of the clubs and we're, uh, they were drunk. We were at one of the parties and we were drunk. And then she just comes up to me randomly and says, Hey, Kevin, you know, I noticed that you don't say hi to me enough. You know, I, I noticed you don't say hi to me enough. You know, I noticed you don't say hi to me enough. You're around all my friends. You're saying hi to them, but you don't make an effort to say hi to me. And I felt like really like, oh, my God, I should say hi.

I don't say hi to anybody, but I should say hi to this person more. That is true. Kevin's very to himself. I don't really see him going up to people. Hey, what's going on? It's not his thing. And then last night, I made i made it a point say hi i said hi to her completely fucking ignored me then i went up to her and i said hey you said that i should say hi to you more i said hi to you today you didn't say hi to me she said i didn't mean that i was just drunk interesting oh wow so she don't want me to say hi to her, which is what I want in the first place.

Well, I think when the truth comes out, so I think that's what she wants. Maybe she felt embarrassed when she sobered up. So you think my friend really doesn't want me? You know, I understand. I talk about dick a lot. You know, imagine Stephanie's life. I'm not toning down my dick talk around her. Yeah, I wouldn't think so.

No. It just comes with the package. I mean, it was in. She dick talk around her. Yeah. I wouldn't think so. No, it just comes with the package when she, I mean, it was in, she knew what, yeah, I was talking about, I'm not,

I'm not a fake person. Sometimes I find two people. And I guess in my case, I'm more sensitive towards it when it's women. So I notice it more in those instances, but sometimes people are like, you know, I wish you did this more and then you'll do it.

And then there'll be like, they don't actually like they're confused as to what they want a little bit. Well, I see myself having I don't make the best eye contact or say hi to everybody at comedy clubs. But especially when it comes to women, shouldn't that be a positive now? Right? Yeah. So my problem is I don't i don't get close to the women you know the people with the problems are the people saying hi to the women and going further it is the guys who say hi that are the problem i'm not talking to i'm not talking to any of them

okay there's there's no dms you're not going to find any dms from daddy in a yeah i think we're all trying to navigate that middle space between you know i and i'm actually i was gonna make a joke but it is a true thing where even if i meet i think i'm too in my head about it but sometimes when i'll meet like female fans after a show and we take photos i'm not like sure how to put my arms around them you know so sometimes i'm too like tight on my body and i'm like i'm like there's gonna be no evidence yeah that i was like being frisky at all so i'll take photos like with like my elbows locked to my hips and my hands like fixed in the shaka yeah and then i'm like bro i think you're being a little over correcty like and so most of the time i wait for

them to kind of initiate but they're kind of waiting for you to initiate because they're there to see you. So it is a, it's not like, if you're an anxious or neurotic person, I think we can get into our heads and write stories that we think they're going to maybe tell later. But in reality, it's like, I think the people who get in trouble for stuff or the people who are like, you know, not just talking about dicks which i think is an art form that we have a couple masters of here but i think whipping it out and making it

come is where you generally get into trouble i think too that shows that a meet and greets you know your intellectual conversation i got my legs crossed. It was a breakthrough. At Meat and Greasy, I've gone a step further. If a girl tries to touch me, I'll slap her. I'll be like, get away. Yeah, I saw you put your hands up. You slapped it away like a jab. And then you went into a fighting position. And I was like, I think we might have.

And I respected it because I like that you've developed that. You've cultivated that instinct for violence. But I was like, this could get us into trouble too. It's like, it's, it's, you cross the line between being too cautious to where now I'm physically

attacking. Yeah. And then when, when you, you were staring at, she was like 45 and there with her son. Yeah. And you said,

you literally looked at her and you said, we just doing hands or feet included too. Exactly. And you were like establishing the kind of terms of combat yeah i was like boxing crop my god what are we doing yeah you were like pick it pick your death yeah and she's like i thought we were doing a meet and greet and i'm like this is like yeah you're like you're about to meet and get greeted to death yeah i don't like to be touched but did you but then you banged her after that right uh yeah yeah well her son was dying it was his last request it was a uh it was a sort of make a wish thing um should we call my friend the the one and see if he if you

what he really thought about that i mean i think if you guys are playing beer pong dick talk is more than appropriate yeah Yeah. I mean, totally, but now I'm concerned. We don't have to, it's a continue on. Uh, that's bulge.

Oh, thanks. Thanks for looking. Did you guys watch the, uh, do you watch football? Yeah. I was,

uh, that was an awful weekend. Yeah. His team was, yeah, that was tough. I just don't like the, the whole,

the drop led to like the in the one of the opening drives the philadelphia player dropped a ball the rest oh yeah they didn't challenge it they didn't challenge it but and then if that sequence of events didn't happen the quarterback probably went to purdy when i got injured so yeah it was a big play right there yeah i turned the game on in the third quarter and i saw purdy was four for four for 23 yards and i was like what the fuck is going on someone must have got hurt and then i'm in the circumstance he gets hurt then the backup gets hurt yeah and then they got to throw his ass back in there it wasn't it was one of the worst and he has a weekend for like the conference championships i've ever seen like both games were underwhelming

for different reasons. The second game was good though. It was good, but see, and Mahomes gutted it out, but him being on a bum ankle, I was like, we're not getting the full spectacle in either game. How bad's his ankle? It was a high ankle sprain. Most guys, when they get that,

they're in a boot for like a month to a month and a half. So I think a lot of people are uh kind of speculating that he got some kind of crazy treatment that uh not something they would disclose is he do you think he'll be at 100 for the super bowl i think he'll be at like 60 to 70 but him at 60 to 70 is still the best quarterback in the league i think yeah yeah Yeah, and the Eagles team is fucking stacked. They're good at every position. Yeah. And their quarterback, he got benched in college and he transferred.

He's a really easy guy to root for. I don't know what it is, but I always kind of root for the Eagles. I don't know if that's against sports, but I don't know. I always feel like they're some of the most passionate fans. So it's kind of cool to see that town win I mean I'm not inspired by their fans the guy ate shit after they won

the maybe I just love Silver Linings playbook oh yeah you should watch the movie someone ate shit? I heard them talking about it on I think like Stern or something this guy just ate shit he just ate a piece of shit

I think it was after they won the Super Bowl he just went on the street and ate a piece of shit aren't those people worth rooting for? I think so they care what was the correlation between the eating shit he was excited he's like I'm so happy I'm going to eat

I think that's what it was I'm going to eat shit I'm so am i'm gonna eat i think that's what it was what a brain joy it's like i'm gonna eat shit i'm so happy to eat shit i'm just gonna i think he picked up like a cow shit or something you know what i'm i'm betting he does that all the time and he was just waiting for a moment where he felt like it would be justified yeah like that guy you don't think he's walking down the street on most days and just looking for turds to really enjoy central park that's his favorite that was the first time we saw it you know it's like that was the first time it was filmed but that guy's been eating shit no probably consistently since he's like seven yeah he said oh yeah on sundays i have it with a nice cabernet he just and his wife cuts it up his wife

was like she probably doesn't let him eat shit but but after they won the Super Bowl, she's like, you got the green light today, honey. And it was horse manure. He ate horse shit. I didn't see the video. I'm not clear if it was fresh horse shit or like, I think it was a patty, like a dried out one. Patty, like a burner? Yeah, Joe, what did we have to pay you

to eat a piece of horse shit? I couldn't. You couldn't? 100,000? You're not eating a piece of horse shit? I couldn't. You couldn't? $100,000? You're not eating a piece of horse shit? It's mostly grass. I mean, is it a huge log? Yeah, it's like a hamburger. Let's say we put it in a bun with some mayonnaise and pickles and however you like your animal style. Like, truly animal style with the horse shit in it and then the animal style stuff.

I don't know. It'd be tough i i mean maybe drunk i would have to get drunk okay okay you're drunk i'm giving you twenty five thousand dollars twenty five thousand with crispy onions on top and a ponzi that's a nice touch tax-free yeah crispy onions that could sway me all right there crispy onion maybe some barbecue sauce could be good with the horseshit. Somebody will give you a blowjob, a female. Okay, I'm in. If the Bears won the Super Bowl, would you do a Joe Eats with horseshit? Yeah. Yeah, that'd be great.

Welcome to Joe Eats. I got horseshit today. It'd be a good episode. Maybe that can be one of your guys' draft things. Best animal shit to eat. There you go. Animal shit draft. Animal shit.

Horse shit, cow shit, dog shit. I wouldn't eat cat shit. Human shit. You ever guys walk by human shit and it has this distinct smell? You walk by dog shit, but then you walk by, because the homeless guys are yeah the sidewalk you have you can smell you know, it's human I yeah, I feel like I know I think it's biological right?

Yeah, we have a it's like a territory thing like we know what a human has been here's like don't go here mark in territory That's what I think because I have a vile reaction when i i know i can tell the difference between uh human shit and dog shit you know i'm so proud of you man that i know that i know these things you know that like you took on this tremendous challenge to not talk cock and i'm feeling that same passion for shit oh you think i i'm like a drug addict where i uh i stopped drugs but now i'm really into smoking cigarettes like i'm in shit little addiction whack-a-mole i just have we been how long have we been talking about shit at least 10 minutes did i bring up the shit you did yeah i Well, what the fuck do you guys want to talk about here? Yeah, honestly, I actually, I'm excited for your son.

Because if my dad were to come up to me and just want to talk about dick and shit all day, that'd be the most fun childhood ever. Yeah. You're going to be, I was thinking about this. Like, you're going to be such a great dad, not just because of that, of that but that's part of it but like yesterday we were talking about getting zen right yeah and you were like i might hit disney world yeah like imagine how amped your kids are gonna be oh yeah yeah like most dads don't like going to disneyland or disney world yeah you love it surprise trips oh he does yeah i don't want to i haven't been there since the 90s and i have no

desire to just go in a line of... You want to take him? I'll take him. Oh, fucking thank God. Take him, take Stephanie. I'll stay home. Jack off. Well, yeah, I never understood the adults going to Disneyland thing.

Oh, a lot of people are, like, upset. Like, yeah, it's weird. A lot of her co-workers, like, that's all they talk about is Disneyland, apparently. Really? Ah. She's like, we've got to take him to it's it just doesn't sound like a fun experience does it have you guys been recently yeah no i mean i know they have like bars there you could drink and stuff but the lines right yeah it just seems like too many people and i hear you It's nostalgic for me. Well, isn't that nice? No, defend your...

You love Disney. You like to go on the teacup and... Yeah, now I'm triggered. Uh-oh. No, I love Disney. Yeah, what are you, one of those teacup guys? Teacup guy? Sounds lame, man.

Why don't you just go to... No, dude, I fucking... I love churros. I love Tomorrowland. I love California Adventure. Tomorrowland? Yeah, Tomorrowland. I love to go on Space Mountain.

I want to go to Disney World. I want to go on the Everest roller coaster. I want to go on the Avatar ride. Oh, there's an Everest roller coaster? Yeah, and you're never going to ride it because you're too much of a hater. Like Mount Everest? No.

Yeah, probably. Yeah, no. Sounds pretty... I like it. don't give them an answer well i guess the big debate then is like because you're not you don't watch football on sundays you'd rather go to disneyland oh for sure i i i'm more of a sports guy but i think you could argue that disneyland is more mature than liking sports on Sunday. How so? Well, because liking sports, you're just rooting for these random people you don't know who are gigantic.

And obviously it has a long history and I think it's wired into our DNA. And I love it. But you don't know these guys. You're rooting for, like Seinfeld said, laundry. You don't really have a connection to the players or the team other than geographical. But there's not much consistency there that they're not from that place. And you're just like living and dying off these random dudes playing a game that's totally made up. And like football is like the most arbitrary.

It has like nine million rules. It's a three hour game. There's like 11 minutes of action. like nine million rules it's a three-hour game there's like 11 minutes of action it's like and i i find meaning and like you know it's a battle and it's it's a test of will and intelligence and athleticism but going to disneyland and having fun on a roller coaster and then eating a churro and being surrounded by joy that to me if you were an alien would make more sense than rooting for football like worshiping a giant mouse that's all make was that is that that different than worshiping like a giant tight end no but i can sit on my couch and enjoy it worship that uh giant

tight end and not wait it is more passive i don't want to even go to the to be honest like going to the sofa seems like a hellish oh yeah if we get into parking and like in and out logistics i mean i'll start stressing about it now yeah even if the game's next september it's the people that i'm concerned about all the people well i guess just to add to your argument it's it's more like you're you're enjoying the experience of your life by going to disneyland you're having the experience it's first person whereas in sports you're watching other people live their lives and you're sort of just watching them live their lives. And dudes get massively depressed about it. Yeah.

Where it's like, what are you doing? Like a Philly fan or someone from like a city with like real heart in their sports. Like you see one of those people after they lose a game like not the players the just the fan yeah who lives 2 000 miles away from that place now and they're depressed for can go two days yeah and i love it i like that it's that meaningful to people because it adds to the stakes but it's good but i don't like getting that invested i try not to yeah joe cried after him and adam cried after the bears lost in the playoffs was it no i don't like getting that invested i try not to yeah joe cried after him and adam cried after the bears lost in the playoffs was it no i don't think so bar and then they they missed that

field goal right wasn't there a playoff game where they missed yeah the double oh my god you guys were like it was it was a sad sight i don't remember i remember i remember i was wearing that bear's sombrero that that you got for me from somewhere. Oh, yeah, from Puerto Vallarta. Yeah. Nice. That's nice. Yeah, I mean, the missed field goal.

Yeah, I remember. Someone got a hand on it, right? I was bummed about that probably for days, but hit the upright, then the crossbar, and then bounced back. The double doink. Well, you did cry after the Cubs won, but that was a magical night. Well, that was amazing. Yeah, the Cubs winning the World Series is like a highlight of my life. And that game went like, what, six hours?

Yeah, it was unbelievable. They had to suspend play for a while because of rain. Yeah, I think I cried the next day watching the YouTube videos. Not at the bar. I think I was a little too drunk. I got to say, my brother's a huge San Francisco Giants fan. And so when I was in college and they won the Super Bowl. No, it's not the Super Bowl, man.

It's the World Series. The World Series is baseball. Aaron, go back to Disneyland. Jack off a mouse or something, asshole. Super Bowl. So when they won the Super Bowl my brother like the the connection we had he called me he's like crying it was so deep yeah but then at on the you know at the same time my brother my brother mark and i when we go on space mountain together and then afterwards we

give each other this nod that connection is just as deep so yeah it's good to have those it's the connect the bringing people together i think is the cool part yeah it's good to have those it's the connect the bringing people together i think is the cool part yeah and you'd rather have like a first person experience with it like you want to be like if you were on the field it'd be one thing but to just watch yeah it's a little too i get jealous i'm like i want to be doing something awesome i get a little bit of that too i'm like i'm like i'll kick that guy and there's no way i would but yeah in my head i'm like there's this like ego part of me where I'm like it's not even

more pride than ego if you can differentiate the two but I'm like no I want that to be me yeah well it's like I'll be watching I'll be like they're crushing it why am I not crushing it right now why am I sitting on a couch eating chips watching them crush it that's something that gets me Ben Branfen has a great bit where he says he loves sports

because it's one of the only places where you go to just yell at millionaires. Yeah. Like, and just talk shit to millionaires and be like, you're a loser. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hey, well, that was... And then sports, too, they're so heartbreaking.

Like, in the Bengals game, that poor Asai guy... Oh, yeah. ...who had the late hit on the homes. Oh, yeah, he was just... Like, my heart instantly... His teammates were yelling at him. Did you see that clip? No.

I heard about it. One of the guys apologized. He was, like, he was, like, yelling at him, like, don't push the fucking quarterback. What the fuck are you pushing? I would say, touching the quarterback.

That's what he was saying. Why are you touching the quarterback? But, I mean, if you're running 100 miles an hour and your adrenaline's up there... And he played a great game. He was like, I think he was amped up because he was three plays earlier. I think it was Romo on the call or something.

Yeah, whatever. Was like a sigh, saying his name all night. He's making an impact every time. And then, boom, that flips. And he's like the GOAT. And people are going to associate him with, you know, he's a little Buckner-y now where his name means you fucked up. Right. That's tough.

It's tough. But then I watched a clip from For Love of the Game, a Kevin Costner movie. A guy makes a mistake and then Costner's like the badass old pitcher. And he's like, hey, don't let him make a joke at you. Next time we come here, we'll beat the shit out of these guys. And then he ends up making a big play later in the game. So I'm hopeful that it can have a, the story is still being written i gotta say i was rooting for joe burrow i like joe burrow he's cool yeah he's cool he's cool as a motherfucker yeah coolest

guy since jfk he is badass ice in his veins good looking even keeled good style well i guess the real question is then has anybody gone on the matterhorn right is that one of the things yeah it was so amped up when they got off that they downed a pile of shit oh yeah they have i'm sure i'm sure the one person was so amped they got decapitated on it yeah people have lost their heads literally has that really happened

he was so amped because he got out of his thing he was so excited that he stood up and his head got chopped off he was like this is so fucking great and then bang his head was off where was that? Disneyland? you know what Disneyland does they maintain it's the happiest place on earth.

So you can't die there because that would mean sadness. So they pumped his body full of adrenaline and they hit him with the defibs just to artificially keep his heart going. And then once they got him off the premises, they let him die so they could keep... One was this. Keep their perfect game intact. And one of the castmates...

No death. One of the castmates, one of the castmates, that's a term for a Disney employee. One of the castmates put his head back onto his body. So he was like, sort of like, Oh, he's still alive. Crazy.

You know, as they were going out and, and sort of was like trying to connect the veins and stuff. So there's still, and the spine. They had, they had goofy around the waist, pulling the body up.

Yeah. And then they had, um had Mickey holding the head down, creating that pressure. And I heard they injected Viagra into him so he had a nice hard-on. So everybody's all, that guy can't be dead. He's hard. Like Matthew McConaughey's dad. Yeah. He talked about dicks.

Yeah, he's going to talk about gonna talk about we should have a dick jar like every time i say dick or talk about dicks you gotta fuck a jar five bucks i gotta fuck a jar yeah or i was saying like throw like a dollar in there yeah if we do ten dollars ten dollars that could get expensive joe do you get tired of us talking about your dick no i i enjoy it i i like it um yeah you like it and i hope the right i hope the right person hears the information and is intrigued and she's out there now we get married she's driving i think that'd be great she's driving a john deer tractor right yeah listening to the pod my My kind of woman. Can I cause some controversy here? Yeah.

You know, you guys treat Joe's dick sort of like a god complex here. Yeah, it's like royalty. Well, I mean, I'm not disputing that you could have a big dick. He's coming alive. You look like somebody that might have a... He's coming alive. Oh, yeah, we're back on dick. You might have a big dick or you

might not but you've never shown us your dick you've never whipped it out and i feel like everybody's just worshiping your giant dick but nobody's seen your giant dick how do we confirm that your dick is huge or you're just putting it out there to get everybody to think you have a big dick no i mean it's been described in detail because I told JT a very intimate story years ago that he shared with the entire world. Oh, you saw it? No, no. So I will say, okay, so first. There's a backstory to how this started.

Here's all the evidence I need. One, I trust Joe. And I don't think Joe would lie about something like this. He came to me in confidence and he said, look, man, I'm having kind of a health issue. I can't find condoms that fit. I was instantly intrigued. I said, are they too big? Are they too small? Hoping for a specific answer. And it turned out to be the case. He said, they're too small. I was amped. I said, what about the magnums? He said, they're too tight. They don't fit. And then we were going to a party. He said, let's keep this between you and I.

That sounds like a good way to convince somebody you have a huge car. But of course, there's a part of me that's a cynic, right? There's 10% of me that's like, Joe knows I'm a loud mouth. He knows if he tells me that, I'm going to spread the good word and let everybody know that my boy's got a hammer. But I know a few females who have been intimate with Joe. A few. Numbers.

Big time pussy slayer. Joe got sucked. And they've told me that it's more than myth. Did they give details? Yeah, what are they saying? I gotta say, and this surprised me, they don't care as much as we do so they don't get into shape they don't get into vascularity they don't get into coloration they just say they i just talked to them a couple months after the fact and i'm like oh yeah hey you enjoyed a little rhythm that

night and they go oh my god his dick is huge really that's what they really say like that oh now he has a smile on his face look here's how you can solve it because i like the excitement in it if go into the bathroom yeah it's it's it's a little sick game you have go into the bathroom and show me like he was hard i just saw your sex face it was it was hot that was not a sex face you looked at me you went like this you went um no but yeah but yeah, I've heard from different women that Joe is packing a monster. Then show it.

Whip it out. He's a modest guy. I don't want to meet your hero. You don't want to meet your hero? Well, a lot of people are disappointed by their heroes when they meet them. That's why he doesn't... Yeah, it's better in my mind. Yeah, it's... What are you imagining in your mind? I have no doubt that it's huge. I just like to it's i i what are you imagining i have no doubt

that it's huge i just like to think about what it could be well let's pivot off that have you ever met any of your heroes kev any of my heroes no not really i i don't even know who i consider do you have a hero you don't seem like a guy who would have a hero i know what do you mean what do you mean kevin what do you mean by hero like like someone you look up to for like moral courage and who sets an example of what it means to be a good person i don't idolize anybody like that i do have people like i'm obsessed with like i was obsessed with the cross david crosby who just died i was i'm obsessed with like crosby so i'm obsessed with things but i think crosby might have been helped write hey joe so some some weird connectivity there uh hey joe you love the song you like uh david crosby a lot he was a wild man right wasn't

he a shit star yeah i mean he's a very interesting life i i mean i wouldn't consider i don't know if he's my hero but that i i get fixated on some people but i don't know if uh i don't have like a a person that i'm like, this guy's my, my hero. I like Steve young. I wore his Jersey when the Niners lost this weekend. Great guy. Yeah.

Steve young. It's a shame. We didn't see him when he was faster. Who's your hero longer in the NFL for me used to be like Christopher Hitchens, Pat Tillman. I'm trying to think people in my personal life who I looked up. I look up to Chad a lot. I think, you know, my parents are complicated. Kind of, yeah. And then my parents are complicated, but I have moments where I find both of them to be extraordinarily heroic,

but I know them too intimately and know their faults as well. So it's hard to just put them on a pedestal like that. Uh, but yeah, no, I've, I've had heroes, but Christopher Hitchens, who was my hero for a little bit in his book, his memoir, he said it was ridiculous to have heroes. It real, he was real. I do have admiration for like, so if you, if you said, who are your heroes right now? I would say the, the people in Iran, the women in Iran that are trying to overthrow the government or the dictatorship right now so I haven't seen this in person it looks like you have to look at it it's like it's it's it's right to left I'll make one joke, but I'm actually impressed by this.

It looks like the 98 Degrees guy's tattoo. Like the 98 Degrees guy? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Wait, can somebody show me that? Maybe it is. Maybe that's why I got it. Yeah, maybe he was ahead of the curve on that.

Yeah. So you've been extremely moved by all that. Sorry, I don't mean to... It's more than all that. But you've been extremely moved by all that. Sorry, I don't mean to... It's more than all that. But you've been extremely moved by the movement, right? Yeah. I mean, I think every Persian or Iranian person is fixated on it and has been fixated on it

for the last... It's been a long time. It's been like... Since the summer? September. Yeah. What's the situation these days and why do you think there's not more media coverage on it well because there's the it's not they're not what

we're not white i mean if it's ukraine there's a lot of coverage on it i still think because a lot of um persian people in the u.s and around the world are really talking about it a lot that it is getting coverage yeah um but it's also something these kind of things have an ebb and flow so some weeks there's a lot of protests and uprisings and uh you know some weeks like right now it's you don't see much and then things happen um with these dictatorships things are sort of weird you never know when something's gonna happen um but yeah something in the middle east is never going to um grab the people's attention like something in europe

um but i'm not i'm not really looking in the negative part of it i think it's a it's the most positive thing we've seen you know at least in my lifetime i i was convinced if you asked me a year ago that i would never even, uh, you know, even think that I would never go there in my lifetime. Um, and now there's like a little bit of hope, you know, cause my whole family's, uh, you know, essentially disconnected from me. So we have like, I have a couple of uncles and in LA and stuff, but otherwise my entire family is in iran and i've never met him uh i had um you know and it's personally affecting you one of my cousins uh they uh she was protesting um they essentially just kidnapped her in the middle of the night so they broke into her house in the middle of the

night um and threw her in jail um she was in uh prison for like a month um and she finally got released but i mean she's probably going the whole country is going through a massive trauma um and you know it's all just for basic like do you do i not just the main thing is like do i have to wear a headscarf or not that's what people are saying because they're protesting against the hijabs but it's everything they don't because they're protesting against the hijabs, but it's everything they don't have. They don't have freedom of anything that there's not even, there's no comedy clubs in Iran.

And then that's sort of, that's sort of what I'm been sort of focused on the last, you know, several months. And then it's weird to juxtapose it to people here who have freedom and they complain about every fucking thing. Like every little thing everybody complains about. Oh, we're not free.

You know, the government's doing this, this and that. Well, she was just protesting for women's rights and she got thrown in a in a shit prison for for 30 days. And who knows what they're doing to the people in there? They're probably, you know, doing very horrible things, especially to the women in there they're probably you know uh doing very horrible things especially to the women in there um so uh you know it's that and dick those are the two things i'm focused on it's remarkable range yeah so so you but you think um this is leading to change you think there's going to be yeah i think the think the, you know, who knows? But I think the regime is over.

The dictatorship's over. It's just a question of when, you know, because they're not just going to give it up. They're brutal and they will. They're killing people right now. They're just they do these sham trials where they're just hanging people and just young people like you and me who are just politically active so it um but i am again i a year ago i didn't think i would ever be able to visit there and you know now daddy's boning up on his far sea you know so uh uh you know i'm getting ready to go there and i'll i'll i'll'll return there. Are you going to protest?

No. I mean, I'm not going until the regime is toppled. Just to like visit family. To visit there, to see where I'm from. I've never seen where I'm from. You know what bums me out too? I don't know why my brain goes here. Because I want to be optimistic that there will be lasting positive change.

But like even when did the shah get thrown out like 79 yeah the shah was overthrown in 79 and then initially that was like like college educators and like progressives who were behind it and then it's a little more nuanced than that right but let me just break through it and then you can correct me uh and then and then more like then deeper religious zealots took over the revolution and kind of, uh, put in even stricter policies domestically. And I, and I see that happen in a lot of places where like the tip of the spear for these things is like positive forward thinking people, but then like inevitably they get uh mutated or overtaken by like darker and and even more authoritarian yeah i mean that was a problem in the first place because

the shah was installed there so in iran before that there was some sort of a democratic system where they had a guy named Mossadegh. And he was elected as the leader of Iran. It was in the 50s. But he was a socialist. And in the 50s, socialist, you know, communism, all that stuff in in you know america or the west um yeah was the enemy and the other thing in iran is they were the they feared that um the socialism they would nationalize their oil so britain that's where all the money get a lot of oil from there so they said fuck this um and they went and helped overthrow them and And then they put in the Shah.

The Shah was there before him too, but they put in the former Shah's son, I believe. And that Shah was sort of like a mixed bag. So on the one hand, he was very close to the West. He was, you know, you see pictures in Iran. When my parents lived there and they were growing up, it was, you know, you see pictures in Iran when my parents lived there and they were growing up. It was, you know, you don't have to wear it. There's no religious litmus test or anything like that. People were generally free. But on the other end of that, the Shah was not a democratically elected leader. So he was imprisoning, you know, his enemies. Part of

the year is imprisoning the religious people who would end up coming and taking over the prison that my cousin just got out of was actually constructed by the Shah in the early seventies to hold political prisoners. And now, you know, other people are now their Islamic regime is being used for it. So I think the, in 79, when there was, you know, and I'm not an expert on this, this is just my understanding. The, the, the college students, the people who wanted democracy and all that were sort of, were against the Shah, but also the religious people. And my understanding is that the, the students and the liberals, they just weren't organized enough, or maybe they're a little naive. So when it actually happened, the religious people were

more, the crazy religious people were more organized. The Ayatollah piece of shit was living in France or Iraq at the time they were he was organizing and uh i did the other side wasn't organizing so then you get to the similar things happen like the arab spring happened joe you're following the arab string you know the arab spring a few years ago i've heard of the arab spring so what happened with that right like there's no organized thing to yeah so then the brute force like institutional powers kind of come in and they're like, we know how to do this. What I would say might be different is the real answer is I have no fucking idea. I don't know what's going on in there.

I don't know if there's people organizing underground. But what I can tell you is Persians are some of the, we can figure it out, the diaspora of Persians around the world. can figure it out um the diaspora of persians around the world if you've been to beverly hills uh we essentially own beverly hills okay if you go to i've been there you've been there you see a lot of persians there right yeah you're from orange county a lot of persians in laguna all that um my hope would be that we're able to organize with obviously the people that are able to overthrow the government and hopefully this would happen and the people who were sort of exiled from there because a lot of the very smart people from iran they don't want to be there so they just go and they do good stuff in other

countries um so i mean i guess all i could say is I'm hopeful that it would be different. They could get some help from, uh, you know, the West or, or our country or Europe to sort of develop institutions. Um, but who knows? But I mean, you're saying it could get worse. I don't know how it could get worse than like an Islamic dictatorship. It's like ISIS. And I'm, I think I'm trying to see the bigger picture, but I'm missing the real heart of the story, which is that these people are fighting for a more just and free Iran. And at this point, that's enough.

We don't need to worry about what's going to come around the corner. For me, it's a sign that, you know, and I just don't know how this sustains. sustains the the dictatorship's gonna be um you know i don't know how they're gonna maintain power over the long run i don't it just doesn't make sense they can keep killing people i see in the short term how they can be brutal and sort of quell it um but i just don't see on the long run how this sustains so what i'm trying to say is daddy's coming home. Okay? Let's go. And it's because of these brave heroes in Iran.

The only reason I'm here is because of that dictator. If the dictatorship didn't happen, I would have been... Well, I wasn't born yet, but I would have probably been in Iran. I would have probably been in Iran. So, this sort of protest thing is sort of how a lot of us are connecting with it.

Was that too much? Was that too much as your audience doesn't like? You want to go back to dick? I think that was the perfect load. That was the perfect load? Yeah, that counteracts all the dick talk. Now it's balanced yeah now we could go either way joe what are your thoughts i think it's cool you haven't

do you have like aunts and uncles that you've never met or like distant relatives i've never met any of my only only uncle well so i have the few uncles in LA, but I have a huge family in Iran. Most of them are in Iran. I have one uncle in Norway. I met him, but all, basically all my cousins and aunts and uncles, basically I would say like 90, 80 to 90% of my family's in Iran that I've never met. I have Facebook, I'm on Facebook and Instagram with them. Yeah.

That'd be great to meet them. Like growing up here, I didn't have we had very tiny family here just because, you know, everybody was not here. So, you know, my parents were in college here in the 70s. I think their plan was to go back and then in the middle of that, the

Islamic dictatorship happened. Oh, so they're like fuck that, yeah. We're not going back to that shit yeah it's good they stayed yeah i couldn't talk dick out there though yeah so imagine a world there's a lot of persian guys persian guys are very weird if you've met a lot of persian all of us are pretty weird imagine being in a country where you can't freely like express your weirdness like yeah a lot of suppressed a lot of people that want to just be screaming uh it's called kyr in in farsi kyr so they want to scream it from the rooftop i don't think i ever

really put it into the the historical context that you're talking cock for those who can't yeah and what about the women the women can't you talk about the men in there women can't talk dick they can't talk back they can't talk flaps they can't talk meat curtains they can't talk clits they can't talk they actually just there was a there was a i'm gonna bring it down again but there's a couple in there and they they just like did a video of and posted it of them just dancing like in the street you can't it's illegal to dance there what so they were dancing with and now a man and a woman that are not married and they're dancing on the street and i think they were just sentenced to like 10 or 11 years in prison. Jesus Christ.

What the? Yeah. I mean, again, the continuing people that have been complaining in this country over the last couple years about shit, it's different in other places. Do you think maybe an image of you getting sucked off by old Ben would be like a symbol of hope for them? I thought it would be, but did anybody,

who knows what's going on? Has anybody in Catalina even seen our show? I don't know. I mean, there's like 12 people who live there. I know, but what's the population? I mean, you would think we'd be getting a parade by now. You know what? They were funny,

because I remember the day before we shot that, I went out to the bars and I was doing first-person research. I was like, yo, what would be something? They were wary of me. I tried to be friendly, but they were like, is this guy trying to make fun of us? I was like, yo, what would be something an outsider could do that would make him in violation of Catalina's culture?

Yeah, that sounds a little creepy to the locals probably. Yeah, it was a tough thing to throw at them. I didn't know how else to phrase it. And they were like, they were like, huh, what? And then I was like, well, right now our plan is to like hump old Ben. And they all loved it. Oh, really? Yeah.

There wasn't a better suggestion from the group they were all like that's it Humboldt Ben their famous mascot seal that died and now they got a statue of him well I feel like your listeners should know that oh you were talking about you explaining it to them to the locals

to the locals okay good I had a traumatic experience with one of your um you want to tell the story with one of the locals no no not with them i just i just popped in it's just a random tangent you remember i told you i was playing with some high school i was playing call of duty with some high schoolers accidentally i was on you know you're on the xbox and then somebody sends you an xbox invite so i i didn't know who it was and I was trying to click off of it and I clicked onto it. So all of a sudden I'm in a party. Okay.

And he's all, you know, it sounds like when you're Stoker like fans. He's all. And so I thought, oh, he's a fan. And he was excited. He's all, oh, he's in here. He's going to play with us. So I was like, oh, okay. Nice.

Yeah. I mean, you know,, he's in here. He's going to play with us. So I was like, oh, okay. Nice. Yeah. I mean, you know, you got me in here. It was an accident for me to be in here, but daddy will play a couple of games with you guys. You know, thinking, hey, this must be pretty cool of them, you know, playing Call of Duty with the guy that was on their TV. And then, so we're playing. And then I slowly find out, like, I'm just asking, hey, did you like the show? Blah, blah, blah, blah. So he was one high school, the guy who invited me, I guess maybe watches us bag sometimes or something or listen to your podcast.

He's like, no, I've only seen like one episode. And then I'm like, what about the other guys? They don't know. They don't know about the show. They don't know. know oh you guys should watch the show so i'm playing on that even your fans they're not even watching the show yeah watch the fucking show guys you're listening to the podcast you're not watching the show yeah that's weird i hear you and i've and then and then i was in a situation where i was oh my god these guys think what do these guys think of me i'm just this random dude playing with a bunch of high schoolers?

They're probably not thinking about it too much. Well, I was thinking about it. Well, why am I playing with these three high schoolers? And then he was talking about one of them. He's like, yo, my brother lives in LA. He's got a really cool job in the industry. He gets coffee for the, he gets coffee for people. I was like, what the fuck, man? Yeah, you should meet that guy.. He gets coffee for people. Yeah, you should meet that guy

It was you know, you expected a little more of like a some fanfare. Well, I was building myself up I was like who you know what I'm saying? I was building I was like you felt like you were doing them a favor Pretty cool. And then it's oh, it's gone. And now i'm just like this weirdo playing with a bunch of 16 year old i'm talking about what colleges they're going to and and shit like that and they know they have no it's basically oh and then one of their friends popped in the their fourth guy who's gonna be like who's this guy who's this guy and then the one guy was trying to explain who i was and i was this is you know it's a lot how did he explain it i don't even remember it's it's just it wasn't he's like what's up dudes yeah it's my buddy

kyle you guys might know him he was on a tv show on netflix and like he was in this one episode he like humped all this shit man i don't even see i saw that episode he said he's only got one episode through he didn't even see that he's like dude he was i heard he's on this show that i almost watched yeah oh god this is a cool place with those his friends are like yeah but i guess it's too long maybe because everybody's watching the tiktok stuff so nobody wants to like go sit down and watch a show i mean who knows yeah i mean like if you look at the oscars this year it's the second worst oscar year i think in history behind last year like some of these movies i'm like what i watched one of them this weekend uh everywhere somewhere is that good uh it was everything all the time or something yeah it was it was a good movie um

i don't know if i would consider it like, oh, this is like, I would want this movie. I would consider it like an Oscar winning movie. Top Gun should win. I think so too. Really? Everything, everywhere, all at once. That's for Best Picture? Yeah.

But I think they even threw that in just because they were like, look, no one's seen these other movies. If we don't throw Top Gun in there, no one's gonna watch the oscars wait top gun got nominated for best movie because now they do 10 too so yeah i feel like so many anybody watched i don't think that should win an oscar i i enjoyed the experience the second time i had to go see it but i i mean to be but you have to go on 20 right oh okay oh we Okay. Oh, we only have 20 minutes? Aaron's got to go 130. All right. No beefs this week, guys.

We're going straight into babes and legends. Chad, who's your babe of the week? My babe of the week is the people who, I'm trying to pull it up right now. So on Barstool, they'll have like, they they'll have they'll have like man on the street bits or whatever like podcast bits that they'll post and my legend of the week are the people who have sports related comments on it when it's like them trying to do like a funny prank or whatever and they'll just out of nowhere they'll go yeah i agree after yesterday's games it should make for an interesting super bowl between the eagles and chiefs and um uh this just fell flat but i think they're funny i don't know what you were what were you uh in barstool when they try to post like man on the

street content or whatever the or like prank stuff and then people are like this is a sports page why don't you post sports content and then the comments will just be like them talking about sports and they're kind of i can't fucking do it i think i get it i don't who's the baby i don't want to talk about anymore it sucks joe no let's sit with this i don't want it talk about it anymore. It sucks, Joe. No, let's sit with this for a second. I don't want to. I'm done. Let's sit with it, bro. It sucks.

Brother, we're here. It sucks. It sucks. Move on to Joe. Joe, what do you think Chad meant by that? I can't explain it. I couldn't figure it out. I understand.

I can't explain it. I understand. You get it, Aaron? It went over my... The commenters who just want to talk about sports. The commenters who are taking it into their own hands. I don't know if it's a babe or the wigs. They're babes.

Yeah, they're the babes. Oh, they're the babes. Okay. Is that what you meant? Yeah. It's more like this is something I think was amusing than a babe. Yeah.

I've done 300 babes, so... We don't need to get defensive here. than a babe. Yeah. I haven't, I've done 300 babes, so we don't need to get defensive. And then what he's done on the podcast. Oh, I still want, you're still a doof to me. Thank you.

That was nice. Joe, who's your baby of the week? Uh, I got two babes of the week. My two babes of the week my two babes of the week are jones hollywood and the dresden two classic hollywood restaurants i haven't been going out much at all so this week with my birthday decided to go out twice so did uh jones and the dresden and these are just great i mean just the layouts of these places and

the atmospheres and the dining rooms and the lighting and the food just fantastic and i love that we have uh these kind of restaurants out here in hollywood jones is every time you walk in there it's like timeless yeah great place yeah same with the dresden awesome every one of jones looks like they're having a good time who's there like you just do a lap around the place you look at every table and you can tell it's like a big night out yeah it's a fun vibe yeah couples groups the whole nine yeah and then just people like yeah the bar is always crowded everyone's all posted up and then there's like those low seats right behind the bar those couches they got weird tables there too yeah yeah but it's fun good times you talk to any ladies there there were i mean there were some there um yeah i went that girl amir's oh yeah yeah she came

by trezor and i didn't really talk to any. Oh, damn. I've seen you take some swings there. Yeah, oh yeah. Remember when I hooked up with that girl after the Dresden? You said she looked like Cartman. I'm trying to remember. Was it like outside?

I made out with two girls that night. Oh yeah, because she was wearing a blue winter hat. I made out with two girls that night. I mean, you might be the only one who's made out on a Dresden night. I was blacked out of my mind. Oh, no, I have. You've made out?

Oh, with the milf that's out of her booth? Yeah. Oh, nice. Yeah, that time when I had my wrist guard on from a softball. Jocelyn or Dorothy? I can't remember her name, but yeah, that was a great night.

I think that was Kevin's birthday a few years ago. Joe, do you do a lot of tongue when you kiss? I try not to. You don't want to do that. I mean, sometimes you come in hard, like swinging way too hard. I don't know where I get that from. I, swinging way too hard. I don't know where I get that from. I just get way too aggressive. Well, you're a max effort player.

I know you've got to tone it down. But you know what? Wait for them to tell you to tone it down because you're coming in with all your primal force. Yeah, but I can tell that when it's too much. Here, kiss me right now. It's also not good when you... Kiss me right now. We'll see.

Yeah, kiss him. Shut up. Come shut up come here no all right weirdo but yeah when they because when the tongues collide too hard it's kind of a weird sensation so you you i think you know when you're doing too much time not for me let me taste that dna let me see what your code is like do you do a little swirling with the tongue or are you you hitting the tongue? Are you waving? Oh, yeah, like a fast swirl. Oh, so you're swirling. Is she swirling her tongue, too? Yeah, I think they go on my pace, usually.

I always feel like I'm leading the pace. He's got all the pitches. He's got off-speed stuff. He's got straight down the middle speed. I think women let the guy set the pace on the French thing. He's got the 12-6 curveball tongue action. You never bite the tongue? Do they want that?

I don't know. I don't know what they want. No, don't bite the tongue. Maybe the nibble on the lip or something. A little nibble on the lip. A little sexy boy action. Oh, you do a little nip-licking? I haven't done that. That seems like a fuckboy move. Joe, do you make a lot of noise when you come? Like, ah!

I've been heard in the past. Heard by who? Like, old roommates. I remember them saying something. Ah, yeah. Yeah, they heard me. So you think your neighbors hear you coming? I've heard him before, too.

No, not the neighbors, but just like... What does he sound like when he's coming? I don't know. Just like when he's working out pretty much just like a bench press grunts yeah like like that yeah something yeah somewhere along those lines god just feels so fucking god yeah but how's he gonna hear that it has to be louder than that well i'm yelling it oh yeah kevin who's your babe of the week um my babe of the Week is, besides the Iran stuff, the Harry, my son, or is it his name? He is drumming. He knows how to drum. He goes to a nice beat drumming stuff, and he just rolled over for the first time from

his back to his belly. Oh, great. Yeah, that's exciting. Things are progressing. That's awesome. He actually had his first kiss too. He kissed someone? No.

No. Garf? Yeah, he kissed Garf. Garth actually gives him kisses my dog goes up to him and kisses him oh go go ahead my babe of the week is um when you're reading a book and it's a serious book it's an adult book but you are and you're trying to be an adult while reading it but you realize you know this thing's a bear it's going to take a while to get through. And then you're in the middle of the book. You don't see it coming, but you just hit a series of photos or pictures. And then they got a blank page after the pictures. And then they got the title of the next chap. They got the next chapter page and you just cruise through 12 pages in five seconds. And all of a sudden the end goal is totally within sight so i'm a i'm a

huge fan of serious books adult books but that have some pictures in them that kind of lighten the the reading load and make it all seem more you know achievable i like that i remember like in school growing up when you'd see pictures and like blank pages you're like all right i'm getting we're moving along yeah they're like this is that's so funny they're like this brings up that yeah they're like this is lyndon b johnson when he was a kid 10 photos of him with like his dad and his mom you know around some kind of you know what you're reading you're reading lbj's biography no i'm reading actually this book about uh edvard munch the painter and uh yeah and they put his paintings in the middle of it and i was like you know and i was like yeah give me all the paintings just just keep loading them up and

uh it was uh it was great made it so much just like it just breathed energy and i mean i was like i can finish this fucking book sounds like a shit book it's great oh it's great okay no it's really good it's actually kind of short uh okay but it's heady chad it's great. Okay. No, it's really good. It's actually kind of short. Okay. But it's heady. Chad, who's your legend of the week? My legend of the week is, it's myself for I got a new dog and showing my dog who's daddy. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

You got to establish that. I'm going to come over this week and I'm going to observe you in action. Oh, yeah. I'm showing her who's daddy. I mean, she's the cutest golden retriever ever. She's just adorable. and she's the cutest golden retriever ever she's just adorable and it's easy and look i spoil her you know we snuggle non-stop but i also show her who's daddy yeah you gotta show his daddy that's important you know i don't put up with any shenanigans you know you try to play keep away from me with rocks in your mouth you're

not getting past daddy with that shit all right i'm gonna pull that rock out i'm gonna prevent your ass from choking you know and she cries in the crate i'm like cry it out baby because you were staying in that crate because daddy's got you so that's me just being a beast dominating my dog with positive reinforcement nice has your dogs in your cock yet oh yeah okay good following the steps um joe legend yeah legend of the week i didn't have one prepared because I thought we were going to leave but I'll just say the yeah I'll just say all the stokers of Stoke Nation

out there you guys are legends and make sure you guys watch their Netflix show subscribe to their YouTube channel if you haven't done that do all the things that help these guys out. Be a fan, but also be an active fan.

Thanks, man. I would say, yeah. Amen. Appreciate that, dude. Kevo, Legend of the Week. Legend is different than Babe. It's basically the same. Oh, yeah.

It could be the same. Brock Purdy. Yeah, man. He was a legend um coming in as a rookie like that coming in a rookie getting the nfc championship game being cool and collected he tore his ucl i've never even heard of that but yeah it's one of the cls so yeah and he's like tommy john oh and he was still in the end of the game throwing it like three or four yards he gutted it out he had to gommy john oh and he was still in the end of the game throwing it like three or four yards he gutted it out he had to go back i mean uh very impressed by him is he the quarterback next year i think he is i mean i i think it's his to his to lose i think i i don't i don't know what's gonna happen with garoppolo but i feel like garoppolo is gonna be gone i don't see how

trey lance with his performance against the bears at the was he the quarterback during the yeah that was the first game in the rain but it was also that weather but yeah i'm on the purdy train um and uh uh i even with the loss i thought it was uh impressive by him he's cool and collected and i i uh he's he's a legend oh and david crosby rest in peace um and uh i highly recommend a documentary called i think it's called remember my name it's a david crosby documentary and you should check it out cameron crowe produced it right it's it's one of the it's basically like a documentary uh biography of him and crosby stills and nash and I know you guys don't listen to that shit. I do.

Yeah, but I'm talking about your listeners. Yeah, they listen to stuff where you gotta go like this. It's a really good documentary. Oh, right. They're more like... I don't know. Can I see a doc on... We got some outdoorsy people. I think they're rocking that shit. My legend of the week is the studio. Goodbye, my friend. It was an honor being here. It was an honor performing in this room. Goodbye, my friend. Oh, yeah. It was an honor being here.

It was an honor performing in this room. Goodbye to this apartment. It was good times. I always have memories from here. I don't get sad when I move or leave a place. I think it's kind of natural. But, yeah, we had some great memories in here. Yeah, you were here about two years, right?

Two years. Yeah. Almost on the dot. So, it was a nice place. And my legend of the week is this place, this room. It's good times. Yeah, great times. Chad place and uh my legend of the week is uh is this place this room it's good times yeah great times chat what's your quote of the week i think we gotta run out we gotta run yeah okay uh guys thank you for joining us in this studio we will be back at atc and then in a new studio at some point in the future so But remember to subscribe to the channel

if you're watching. Watch it on YouTube. Thank you, Kevin and Joe, for bringing your varying-sized dicks in here and dropping your loads. Thanks a lot, bros. Yeah, guys, keep writing reviews. Keep being legends.

Thanks for listening. If you need advice These guys are really nice. You want to know what to do and where to go. When you need someone to guide you, just to have those roads beside you. Go and see. Go and see. We'll see you next time.