Going Deep with Chad and JT - EP 285 - Jay Chandrasekhar

Episode Date: April 5, 2023

Today we are joined by the Legend Jay Chandrasekhar. We recently connected with Jay when he helped direct us in a few episode of Unstable with Rob Lowe. Jay is best known for his work with the sketch comedy group Broken Lizard and for directing and starring in the Broken Lizard films Super Troopers, Club Dread, Beerfest and Super Troopers 2. Jay drops some crazy stories about his time in hollywood! Call us, leave a 60 sec voicemail with your issue or question: 323-418-2019(Start with where you're from and name for best possible advice) Check us out on tour!  Austin Moontower Festival Next!www.chadandjt.com Check out the reddit for some dank convo: https://www.reddit.com/r/ChadGoesDeep/  Episode sponsored by: ATHLETIC GREENS: If you’re looking for an easier way to take supplements, Athletic Greens is giving you a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D AND 5 free travel packs with your first purchase. Go to athleticgreens.com/GODEEP.  HELIX SLEEP: Get 20% off all mattress orders and 2 free pillows! Go to helixsleep.com/godeep

What's up, Stokers? Before we begin this epic podcast with J. Chandrasekhar, we are on tour. We're going to Moon Tower in Austin, Texas, April 15th. And we got Arlington, Virginia coming up. Dude, that's gonna be sick with Hannah Dickinson. What else we have? Ohio. We're going all over. We're going all over. But specifically the Austin show, that should sell out. Yeah.

Paramount Theater. Yeah. We want it to be a banger so if you live in texas anywhere in texas it really if you live in any state come on out moon tower is fun it's a party yeah like we last year we birded around and we just like we're drinking a bunch and it just was a a rollicking good time we're gonna enter the stage by horse yeah yeah we rented a couple quarter horses yeah you don't want to miss that no and we're gonna have a skateboard in our hand while we do it but not a surfboard because i freaked out that horse that one time i almost died yeah it started bucking uh get your tickets at chat and jt.com chat and jt.com we're also

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Chat with JT. All right, let's sizzle the steak and slap my ass. What's up, Stokers of Stoke Nation? This is Chad Kroger coming in with the Going Deep with Chad JT podcast. I'm here with my compadre, Sean Thomas. What up? Boom clap, Stokers. And we're here with director, writer, actor, Jay Chandrasekhar. Oof-a-loof-a, Stokers. Oh, dude. We're here with director, writer, actor, Jay Chandrasekhar.

Oof-a-loofa, stokers. Oh. Dude. That's a good one. Thanks. Is there any kind of etymology to that, or is it just random? Well, I just heard boom clap. I was like, this seems like in the same family.

For sure. I get boom clap is a little more evocative of a very loud clap. And of a way of being. Like I'm just coming at you. Boom clap. It's a Charlie XCX song. Oh, really? Boom clap, the sound of my heart.

It just really like fires you up. Oof-a-loof-a is like a small variation from oompa-loompa in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. I like bringing that. It's like a small variation from Oompa Loompa and Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. I like bringing that. It's good variety. You know, we have like Steak Sizzle, Boom Clap, Oofa Loofa. Yeah. It's all different. Nice. Nice.

All Things Comedy. Yeah. That's what they do here. Have you been here before? No. They're just spinning the funny. I feel like you would have been here. Is it just the name of the?

Name of the company. The company. It's a Bill Burr and Al Madrigal's company. I got got it but the guy you met outside bernalina runs it's funny all things comedy i mean i i think i i i certainly don't want to go at bill or or al madrigal but i remember being in new york city when they put up the first signs for comedy central for Comedy Central and I was like in the group Broken Lizard at the time and so we were like we were the center of comedy that's what we thought we're like who are these assholes putting up this Comedy Central that fucking like we were like kind of like like in that way that young guys are like pissed off at

everything yeah we were pissed off because they put a sign on every damn place yeah I'm gonna fail it's a lot of ego to say that they're the center of comedy and then i just saw this all things comedy i'm like i had that same grrr but i mean bill burr i really love and al magical too so i think they can pull it off the new york times says all the news fit to print and i'm like oh really you didn't miss anything huh it's funny I never got mad at that no I also like this this logo you guys have it's it's very reminiscent of my friends Cheech and Chong oh nice yeah I thought you're gonna reference the in-and-out thing But I like the Cheech and Chong as well

You're homies with Cheech and Chong? Yeah, I was Well, first of all, I was a big stoner So I was a fan of Cheech and Chong Sativa or Indica? I think Sativa has generated a lot more jokes for us Indica, I'm like, I don't know I just have more drinks, I suppose

Indi-couch Indi-couch, right I mean, if you're going to watch something like Dog Day Afternoon or one of these dramas, then you might put that on. But I don't know. I kind of just don't. What's the funny line from that movie where they're like, we've got to leave the country? And then John Cazale's like, Wyoming?

Yeah. Right. Right, right, right. Wait, so you're buddies with Cheech and chong but they're kind of like uh haven't they been on the outs with each other for decades now is that public yeah i think so yeah i've heard it on other podcasts well look um i got to meet them because they wanted to make another movie uh and so um and so i met with them in a room, and I think all of Broken Lizard, too. We were all together and we met.

And we were, you know, our mission in that meeting was to pitch them an idea for a new Cheech and Chong film, which we did. And which they both agreed to do. And then we raised something like $9 million. Someone's like, I'll write the check. You make a new Cheech and Chung movie, you dingbats will be in it too if you want to, us broken lizard. You know, the smaller parts.

And we were all very excited to bring them back because if you sit in the room with them, as much as they do have sort of a current history of conflict, they're hilarious together. Yeah, they're so good. Like they're fast, they're wicked, they're funny, they're really good. You would recognize your own dynamic in their dynamic.

And so I was like, this is fantastic. This is going to be great but then i got a call from chong and he goes i love that idea i love that idea for the movie where did it come from again and i'm like yeah i mean we just came up with it and he goes but like you were talking to cheech before and then you came up with it, right? And I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah, we talked to Cheech and then we came up with it. And he goes, so the origin of the idea was in part from a conversation with Cheech, is that right?

And I'm like, yeah, that's right. And he goes, what other ideas you got? And I was like, no way. And then we got $9 million. And he goes, I think there's probably another good idea to do, right? Because I was like, no way. And then we got nine million bucks. And he goes, I think there's probably another good idea to do, right? Because I'm not doing that idea. Wow.

And I'm like, no. And so, and the funny thing about it was, if you go back even further, Cheech told me, he goes, he goes, when Chong hears about this idea, where Waugh came in part from me, he's going to blow it up. Interesting. And I'm like, no, we have $9 million. He goes, he's going to blow it up. And he did.

Wow. And so he's like, let's come up with a new idea. And I'm like, I'm out. I'm out. Because you could just see the writing on the wall. Well, I just need, you know what? I'm out. Because you can just see the writing on the wall.

Well, I just need, you know what? You know, when you're in your 70s, and I love both of them, and you have a chance to, you know, I don't mean to be a prick, but make a movie with the guy who made Super Troopers, and, you know, who loves you and thinks I can kind of handle the, you know, the buck and bronco that is this relationship, and you walk, it just doesn't come together that easily like nine million doesn't just land in your lap that easily yeah right they weren't appreciating the work that went into it you know how recent was this it was about five six years

ago gotcha yeah it's such a shame that they can't get but you know you hear that about so many duos thankfully you know we argue and stuff or we don't even argue we'll have tense moments but we always bounce back pretty quick and support one another. But you'll read about, like, Holland Oates or, like, Keith Richards and Mick Jagger or, like, Daltrey and Townsend. Like, Townsend said when he looks at Daltrey, he sees no love, like only anger. But he said something nice at the end where he says, but I realize my lyrics

will always sound best coming out of Daltrey's mouth. So he keeps, and I guess he likes the paychecks. It's funny. It's like how much credit is enough? And I guess, you know, you in particular have a, like that classic actor's black hole in your soul, right? Where you just need it to be filled with compliments and joy. And it'll never be filled.

You know that, right? No, it'll never be enough you know that right no it'll never be enough but i'll keep chasing it but that's what that's what it is with with i guess these guys don't tell tree and towns i mean i we we had a slightly long story but not too long we were making the dukes of hazard and um i shot a chase scene to go along with the song a whole lot of love by led zeppelin uh and it was just beautiful like i thought right and the president of war brothers but it's expensive led zeppelin and i'm in the editing room and president war brothers jeff robinoff knocks on the door and i'm like oh hey like just shows up and he goes i hear you got a led zeppelin tune in your chase scene and i'm like yeah he goes let's take a look and i'm like okay i mean yeah okay so i show it to him and he's like oh wow that's really good and i'm like yeah thanks and he goes how much is it? And I said, they're asking for a million. And he goes, all right.

And I was like, what? Thank you. How nice. Thank you. And so I talked to the music supervisor. I'm like, let's get it. Let's go get the song. She calls the representatives for Robert Plant and Jimmy Page and John Paul Jones.

Obviously, Bonham's dead. So Robert Plant says yes. and John Paul Jones. Now, obviously, Bonham's dead. So Robert Plant says yes, Jimmy Page says yes, and John Paul Jones says, what did Robert Plant say? And he said, yes. He goes, no. Whoa. Because apparently, Plant said about John Paul Jones, he parked the cars in Led Zeppelin.

Wow. And he never got over it. Fair enough. But these petty feuds are ultimately not worth it. Yeah. Because together, for example, Broken Lizard is stronger than a part. I mean, I can tell you, you know, more people would rather see two of us on stage than one of us on stage.

Yeah. And you've got to remember that that may be the entire source of your power, right? That may be the entire ride you take in show business. So get over yourself, keep it together. Yeah, for sure. I'm talking to you guys right now. I can feel that.

Yeah, it feels nice, it's nice, it's good. At what point do you think these, at what point do you think these, at what point do you think like Cheech and Chong, at what point do you think they reach that level? Do you think it starts early or do you think it's when money comes into play? No, in their case, in my opinion, it's about who gets credit for their funny act. Yeah. credit for their funny act yeah and uh chong you know feels like he deserves the credit cheech is a little bit more like we both did it and can't we share it and uh i think chong feels he's i don't know i mean it's insane because they made wrote hundreds and hundreds of jokes

yeah and they made many movies. And it's not like anyone really separates them. I mean, I know Cheech had the bigger solo acting career, but when you think of them, when I think about their work together, I'm never like, oh, Cheech is probably the one doing all the button push. And I'm like, no, no. They both probably contribute heavily.

There is an electricity when they get together. They balance each other. That's what makes them great. Yeah, I think one thing is as a duo or group is you tend to be sensitive to like when people single you out in like a negative way. And you're like, oh. Oh, in a negative way. Yeah. Well, I think it can affect you if it's in a positive way too. But if it's in like a negative way, there sort of like a you have like an existential kind of crisis where you're like am i like are they gonna like

is the audience gonna force me you know what i mean am i gonna be thrown out of show business exactly yeah i think that i i feel i think that's probably like a huge factor i mean but but i mean it's it's it's irrational we made a rule in the beginning of Broken Lizard that said, if anybody asks you who wrote that joke, you say, I don't know. We all did. That's a great rule. And it just makes it easier. Who came up with that idea?

I don't know. We all did. Oh, I'm just kidding, brother. You know, Pat Riley talked about it with the Lakers. He said it was the disease of more. And he says, like, especially after you get some success or win a title, everyone starts being like, well, I need a bigger role or I need to have my personality shine more.

I do think some of it, it's a good thing that even happens at all because it means you're having some success. But it feels like those feelings are always going to be there. It's just how do you process them? Yes. They always are going to be there. It's just how do you process them? Yes. They always are going to be there. And we had Kevin Heffernan, Steve Lemme, and Paul Soder, and I went to an Anaheim Ducks game recently,

and we were there to promote the film Quasi, which we made, and it's coming out on 420. I know we'll talk about it. So we were there to chug a beer, you know, just to do that for Beer Fest. And the Anaheim Ducks put up like a thing on the Jumbotron with each of our faces in a corner and said, vote for your favorite lizard. No. And so it's like 33% heifer. I was 32.

Lemmy was 26. And Soder was like nine. Yeah. And then it started to go Soder up, and he was eating into Lemmy, and you're like, what the hell is this? I came here for a good time not to be evaluated. I finished second, by the way. Let's go.

Thank you. It is brutal how people do that. There's no kind of – they seem to do that in different ways too where there's they just have no sensitivity towards like people revel in it i voted for myself put people at odds but i guess you kind of like can do that when you watch like a movie like who's your favorite totally we love ranking things we do drafts all the time it's uh it's natural to create a hierarchy but when you're inside the hierarchy you're like this is kind of a bummer dude that's why it's clutch too to have like a Ringo who's just like

happy to be there and doesn't have that it's such a rare person who doesn't have that black hole in there Ringo Starr does seem to be very well adjusted yeah he's just happy to be along the ride and what a ride it was for him I bet but by the way everyone always says he was an incredible drummer

that's what's cool too he's talented but he's also not a fucking butthead and doesn't have like he's not trying to lock horns with Paul and John

he's just like yeah you guys fight about the songs I'll just sit over here and keep the beat there's a funny line I just heard from Almost Famous

when Jason Scott Jason Lee I just watched this watched billy crudup uh your looks are becoming a problem for this band or something like that right yeah the edit's so good too because they cut to the main kid going what and then they cut to billy crudup and he's like the guy who is good looking he's like what they all just say what that's a yeah that was a great scene because they're the out of focus guys in the sweatshirt i don't remember that part like the

reason jason lee gets upset is because um oh yeah they have no merch and billy crudup's the only one in focus so all the other members of the band just look fuzzy and that's right that's right that's hilarious that's a great movie know, what people do with the images is, I mean, I was I remember there's a broken lizard poster that Steve Lemme has on his wall of the German

super troopers and I've been removed and he's in there twice. There's one in Japan where my skin is two shades lighter. I'm like, there's one in Japan where my skin is two shades lighter. I'm like, there's five white guys in this group? I mean, it really looks like that.

Like, what can you do? These are just images. Because that plays in Japan. They like the paler tones. They like paler tones. Yeah, so a lot of people know you as an actor from Broken Lizard Productions, but you're actually one of the most prolific

comedy directors of like this generation. Thank you. actor from broken lizard productions but you're actually one of the most prolific um comedy directors of like this generation thank you i mean i'm uncomfortable with that but i appreciate that not that i don't believe it i i i understand the numbers i just have this sort of i have a coyote mentality i have this mentality that i'm about to be kicked out of show business and I meet people who are coming up and they're like, wow, you did this, you did this and I'm like, fuck you, man.

You think I'm not a coyote? It makes it feel like I've made it and I suppose I have, but I don't think that's good for me. Do you think everyone kind of feels that way in show business? I remember I would listen to podcasts.

It was called Making It. It's comedians, and I'd be like, you know, open mic-er, and I'm like, man, that must feel so cool. But every one of them was like, well, I don't think there's actually such thing as making it. And I never really understood that as an open mic- open mic but now i you know having like some success you i feel like that's especially in show business you just feel like that feeling stays with you no matter what yeah i mean i what what i learned from making the number of sort of independent films that i've done is that if you go and make a film,

there's a whole mechanism of film festivals that exist to show films like that. So it's like if you make the thing, even if it's a short, people will react to it. And if you make enough things, then people have an expectation that you're going to make things. And so when you come to them and say,

I want to make this thing, I want your money, and they say no it stings them a little because you might go across the street and somebody else may give them their money you may make that other person a bunch of money right and so they're like and that's the feeling i think of making it you're like a trusted commodity yeah the expectation that if i if they don't give me the money someone else will will. Oh, that's good. You got some leverage. Yeah, I suppose so. I suppose so.

I mean, as much as you can have coming from the position of the person asking. I mean, people still say no to me, though, right? It's still, you know, I always say show business is like an island, a tiny island of yes and an ocean of no. Yeah. Because most of us still get no's all the time. You know, the coyote thing is funny, because have you seen the movie collateral yeah with tom cruise and jamie fox and there's all those scenes what's it about he's a cab driver jamie fox who's like very perfectionist about

his job but he never takes leaps because he's afraid of failure and then tom cruise is like a sociopathic assassin who's like also very precise, but like has like no sensitivity in him. Like he's just cut all that out of his life. But there's these scenes where they see coyotes and they both make eye contact with the coyote and they both like, uh, relate to the coyote in this beautiful song by audio slaves playing behind it.

But I think that was like a parable about Hollywood that everyone out here is just eat what you kill. And we're all just like looking for a meal and we're just hungry yeah yeah and some people you know they get like a like a boat which is like they get a television show you know that they're on for years and you're like they're just now they're just on this boat that's going to be floating for a while and they can just unclench their assholes and you know and rest it's nice that's how we want unstable to go we want that yeah i mean you know rob uh lowe loves comedy and he loves being funny and he loves and he's the kind of guy who when he he's off one show he's getting six offers for others.

I mean, he's a made man. He always told me he's an assassin. But he didn't say it. He should have been in collateral. He didn't say it about that context. What he said was, I said, what was the West Wing like? And he goes, oh, it was funny. But he just said it was like a room full of assassins. Yeah.

Like everyone knows exactly how to deliver their line. That's right. Yeah. And then that dialogue is so good. Sorkin's an assassin or a broker of assassins. Yeah. And we had him in, I worked with him first on that show, The Grinder.

Yeah, The Grinder. That was a good show. Which was very good. I think not well named. Because of the gay dating app? Yeah, and I said that to the writers, and I was like, you know, guys, I said, it's not the ideal thing for a new show. And they're like, no, but this is About grinding As a lawyer

Like you work really hard I'm like yeah but there's also that other app And they're like this is about grinding as a lawyer I'm like okay fine It is funny every time you say grinder My brain pictures skin friction Yes In hearing the title

I never associated it with Working hard You just snicker Depending on how much effort you put into it Yeah, I'd never, in hearing the title, I never associated it with working hard. Right. Yeah. You just snicker. Depending on how much effort you put into it. But it's a really good show. It was a great show.

It's so good. It was a great show. And he and I became friends there. And he knew his lines every single line, every time, every time. And I was like, this guy, I'm impressed. And the comic timing and fred savage his content was incredible too and the two of them we would run three and a half minute takes and nobody would miss a thing and i'd be shooting a wide profile i'm like we could put that on tv

and rob is like do it don't shoot any coverage i'm like no yeah i'm shooting the coverage but then he came to super troopers too and he was doing a television show during the week, and he would fly to our movie all the way in Massachusetts, nail every line, be willing to... I mean, he boxed... There's a scene where he's like the purveyor of a strip club, and there's a guy's dick in in frame hanging next to his head and he turns he starts boxing this dick and he goes well pretty good workout eh and uh

i'm like it was a joke that i was afraid to tell him about but the guy's like he's he knows that you got to go where the joke is he's down for whatever uh and i think he is an assassin i do think with comedic acting you do have to kind of, and I don't understand it yet, but I hope to. It's like you do have to kind of embarrass yourself, right? Like you got to kind of just, or let go of any kind of self-consciousness. You have to be willing to, you have to take any gag and try to make a great version of it. You have to take any gag and try to make a great version of it, whether that's just reading it or adding a few words or attitude.

But the only way to do that is if you trust the filmmaker to not put in the bad stuff. Yeah. Like if Rob Lowe boxing that guy's dick was not good, I wouldn't put it in. And he knows that I wouldn't put it in. Yeah. Right?

Was it like speed bag style or was it more heavy bag? It's just kind of speed bagging it. Right. Speed bagging it. How big of a dick was it? It was like something like that. That's huge. Yeah.

That's a nice piece. Good solid dick. Good solid Canadian dick. I'm auditioning. Well, for the audience you directed us and was it two episodes Unstable?

I did two episodes of Unstable yeah yeah episodes four was it four and five yeah those are our those are our big episodes

those are our big episodes you guys were heavy in them we were the heavies it was fun I had a blast I it was it was a really fun experience seems like the show's doing well too yeah We were the heavies. It was fun. I had a blast. It was a really fun experience.

Seems like the show's doing well, too. Yeah. I'm excited. I mean, top ten, I hear. Top ten. Yeah, number four. It's a fun show. I really enjoyed watching it, too. It came together really nice.

That's awesome. Yeah. That's awesome. I'm hoping to go back and do more. Yeah. Do you know what the first thing he said to me after the first take we did together was? And it was the perfect comment. And I mean that sincerely.

We say cut. I'm like stiff as hell. You walk up to me and just go, have you done much acting? Well, look, I wanted to tell you guys something. I recognized in your spirit that you were guys I could treat like I treated the Broken Lizard guys, which is house of pain. You know, like we like to insult. And I was like, these guys can take it.

I have big brothers. That's my comfort zone yeah so far away not too hard though i mean i think that to really excel in this business as a director but frankly all the way you know is that you should be walking around with a pocket full of compliments right and the compliments should be real so that the person doesn't think this guy's snowing me yeah because that sucks too if someone's laughing and stuff that's not funny your head's yeah it's not like the read-throughs i don't know you've been through these network read-throughs where everyone's laughing at every joke you're like yeah no joke here but um you know but this is i i you know like i compliment the the director of photography i compliment the sound guy i compliment the wardrobe

and and sometimes the actors uh no i come with the actors because i'm out there too and when i do a take and the guy's like all right let's move on to the next scene i'm like what where's my mint yeah where's my mint it's fun though and then i i do i'm always blown away by the efficiency of the crew like how quick they can do a setup and how quick we're on to the next thing like everybody on the set is so good at what they do yeah and we're as we're winding a scene down i'm starting to talk to uh the the producer and the dp and be like let's get that next room lit up and let's start thinking about that thing because we got about two more takes you know maybe three or four with this guy but um you know we're gonna we're gonna we're gonna get out there We gotta start moving and thinking about the next thing

Because the more we can be moving And advanced and moving into the next thing Sort of pre-lit the more we can finish the day On time and then The producer comes and gives me a little scooby snack Says you did a good job Let's go Then you get the compliment

I need the compliments too you know I need the compliments too It is i need the compliments too i do it is funny as an actor when they yell cut and you just look to the director what do you think we did that on our show we our show lucasia i always be like you know you just um it's it's nice for me to have someone sort of watching over and be like am i doing this correctly yeah you're good yeah oh thank you so Yeah, because it's hard to tell. Yeah. With acting, you know, yeah.

But you were telling me, I was asking you about directing, and you said, like, the gift that you had was that you have a very good sense of timing for dialogue, like what the rhythm of dialogue should be. I, in my head, have, like, there are, I know exactly in my mind what I think it should be when I read it. And I can, in my, I'm like, I think it should be when I read it. And I'm like, I think that word shouldn't be in there.

Or if you're going to have the word in there, it's got to be at this length. It's got to be a little bit faster, a little bit faster. You know, it's like, it's rhythm. You know, like when I cut, this is how like a lot of comic directors cut. They will cut the scene and it's called a radio cut and so you'll turn the image off and just listen to it uh and you're like oh oh there's a little too long a pause there and this one this joke's coming a little too fast so then you adjust the picture so that it sounds right it's it's very much like a song you

know but the song has a drummer and that's the rhythm and you know we we had uh the eagles of death metal put some music on to super troopers 2 they scored it and i was like trying to show them what it would what a movie would look like a chase scene with their music on and i'm like we we you know we have this song on here already but i'm like let's try that other song and we laid it in and it laid in perfectly and jesse who was in the eagles death metal is like how did that happen and i'm like because you and i have the same rhythm and that's why i want you on this movie because we have shared rhythm. And they're like hard rock, right?

Yeah. Yeah. They're called death metal, but the Eagles is the part you have to listen to. Right. Like they're the Eagles. They're a rock band. Oh, so they mean like the Eagles, like Don Henley Eagles? They're a full on rock band.

And incredible. And do you think that that timing, is that just a natural gift, or does that come from experience? I don't think you can learn it. Right. Oh, nice. I like that. Well, because I've seen, I've been on sets with writers, and I'm like watching it, and I know exactly what's wrong.

And they're like, that was great. And I'm like, uh wrong and they're like that was great and I'm like uh-huh okay that's fine you just don't like I can't hit a baseball right you know like some people can hit a baseball like sometimes the writer just doesn't know the rhythm and then you go in there like pull the word the out and they do it again they're like oh that was that was it I mean yeah that that's it not the one with the extra the and do you think like does that come from you watching movies and tv as a kid i'm sure i'm sure it does like i'm sure it in part comes from watching you know all those old sitcoms because the the rhythm was in many cases perfect i guess i i watched seineld religiously as a kid.

That's a good way to learn rhythm. Even when I was like in like kindergarten, first grade, just with my parents. And I was thinking about it and I was like, oh, it has like a lot of my, when it comes to acting or writing or just the sound of stuff comes from Seinfeld. Yeah. It's just that rhythm that those characters like Kramer, all that kind of stuff comes from Seinfeld. It's just that rhythm that those characters like Kramer, all that kind of stuff. I feel like that was a huge foundation for me. Yeah, I mean, Jerry Seinfeld is when he talks about writing stand-up bits,

he talks about things like, can I do the setup for this joke in... He goes, I know I can do it in 12 words. Can do it in seven words so he's a full rhythm junkie yeah did you read his uh comedy book where it's just his bits from his journal it's incredible because there's not a wasted line in it like he must have spent hours like he must have spent like an hour on each line of words yeah and it ends up being just eight sentences for the whole bit but you can feel the amount of focus that went into each sentence. That's the kind of stand-up comedy that I attempt. The specific written structural rhythm.

And my friend Joe Coy, who I made a film with, he, I mean, we finished that movie, we went to Nashville to do the rhyme and I opened for him. And I'm like, how much time are you going to do? He goes, I don't know. I only have about four or five jokes written. And I'm like, that place is packed, buddy. He goes, I'll be fine.

And he goes out there just two and a half hours. And I'm like, and he's just riffing and riffing. He's just exploring a concept. Yeah, and they're loving it all. And he's singing songs, and they're all singing's just exploring a concept. Yeah. And they're loving it all. And he's singing songs and they're all singing through, they sang five songs. Yeah. And the crew was like in overtime, overtime, they're like, when's he getting home? I'm like, I don't know.

He's killing it out there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I mean, he finds things on stage and writes on stage, which is a courage I don't really have. on stage which is a courage I don't really have I'm not comfortable going out there and and creating a stand-up act on the fly yeah I relate to that I like the comfort of knowing the rhythm and the the punch and there'll be moments where it's like an idea will pop in your head and you'll just run with it but even with that crowd i don't do you do crowd work uh very little and it yeah it it feels i don't mean to be i just don't do much of it but whenever i do it it seems like it works it's like a code what it's like a cheat code a little bit a little bit because they're going to yell the same thing in every town yeah and it's now

the dominant form of like um comedy content like for stand-up like every comedian all the best ones they put out uh crowd work clips they do yeah it's a little bit dispiriting but they do there is something about the unpredictability and getting something vulnerable out of the audience member that it puts everybody in the room when they see it. I think they're excited that they're talking to the guy. I think that's fun for them because it's unpredictable, they think, even though it's fully predictable. But it's, you know. It feels.

It feels unpredictable. Yeah. It's like I'll do a chug against the audience in my stand-up act and that feels unpredictable you're chugging beer but they're gonna lose let's be honest you're chugging beer yeah does that ever are you ever like dude i can't chug a beer today but i gotta do it for the the set no because you look great thank you you mean i look like somebody doesn't chug beer no you look like someone who's chugging green juice i just you know the key for is like if i have two shows and i have to so that means i have to chug two beers and then i like to have a vodka soda during the show and so that's four and so i got to be careful in the middle while i'm waiting to go on the second one. Because I have in the past been saying an S word

and hit a tiny slur. And I'm like, that's not professional. So I got to kind of keep a handle on it. You got to keep that voice sharp. Yeah. So being known for Super Troopers and especially Beer Fest, was that a burden on you being known as a party guy?

Or did you embrace it? Well, you know, know like almond bars all the time alone at when i'm in cities and people will come up with pints to chug yeah and they've already bought the pints right so i try to like group up as many of them as possible and do it at once but you know occasionally you know occasionally it'll turn into a couple and or if i lose to somebody i will have been known to be like fuck you rematch and uh and have my own my own worst enemy sometimes i met you in a similar uh context actually it was sundance film festival me and my buddies used to go out there just to watch movies it was like our version

of spring break and we were that big pizza place that's on main street oh yeah we were it's you know it's got the downstairs bathroom and you were in line and me and my three like bros were like dude we gotta say something and i'm like hey what's up jay we're big fans of a broken lizard and you could not have been nicer okay you're very sweet to us i'm so glad you made some jokes about us all pissing together, and I was like, this guy gets it. And I offered you a bump of coke, and you said no. I did? No, it's a joke.

Okay. That doesn't sound like me. No, go on. How often do you get asked what a Z job is? A lot. You ever give an answer? Yeah, I say uh i don't think you can afford it buddy yeah my favorite part about that scene is the the one random guy who picks up the quarter he's like oh that part always kills me that guy i mean his name was isaac, K-R-A-P-P-Y.

You know, he was one of those guys who was like on the edge of like regular society and, you know, the street. So that was improvised? Oh, yeah. The guy was just doing his thing. I'm like, yeah, keep doing that. Keep doing that. The late Isaac just doing his thing. I'm like, yeah, keep doing that. Keep doing that. The late Isaac Crappy, by the way. Something befell the young man and did not survive.

Oh, that's too bad. Yeah. But he was excellent. Yeah. Excellent. Very memorable. So you have a new movie, Quasi, coming on Hulu. Yeah.

420. Yes. Broken Lizard. Yes. It's a Quasi. It's for Quasimodo. And it's a 16th century French political thriller with English accents and blood. Oh, hell yeah. That's awesome.

And, you know, it feels a little, not a little, at times it feels a lot Python because of the era. And we have crowns and wigs and robes and swords and all that were you aware that when you were writing it or did it just kind of well when we wrote it we were i mean it's an old script like we wrote it like back when we were thinking oh we'll become like python in some way and we'll do those kinds of movies because we were doing a lot of sketch on on um on stage in new york and so i had a closet costume with like a mermaid costume and a banana and we had all sorts of crazy costumes we're like yeah we'll do this but then you realize we can't

afford to build any of the castles or any of the stuff and so we ended up making puddle cruiser which took place at Colgate University where we went to school, and it's just people. And then Super Troopers was just people, and we just went down that road. But when Super Troopers 2 did well, Searchlight, Fox Searchlight said,

what else you got? And we showed them Quasi. And they like period pieces already. Like, it's already their thing. They like movies like Au Chocolat. And so they were... The Johnny Depp one? Yeah. it's already their thing. They like movies like Au Chocolat. And so, they were... The Johnny Depp one?

Yeah. That's a good movie. They just like that French... Lassie Hallstrom? Yeah, yeah, that's right. Wow,

look at you. That's great. Is that enough of a compliment for you? Yeah, that felt good. Dude, no,

I liked it when you dig in me. I thought you were going to pick on me more. You did? Well, we talked about that before we started, but I've liked it when you did it to me. I thought you were going to pick on me more. You did? Well, we talked about that before we started, but I've been complimenting you, so it'd probably be... Oh, today you thought I was going to pick on you.

Yeah, yeah. Because I thought I picked on you plenty while we were shooting. You did. Yeah. It was nice. I thought I was giving it back to you a little bit. Yeah, sure. I was trying to be sassy.

I would go home and be like, I was sassy today. I think that helps with your performance, right? I think it's just more fun yeah it gets you into a lively state of mind i think you have to feel a little bit crazy to do it well like you got to kind of feel like you're on the edge of something yeah and the i think the crew finds it like uh like a tension reliever to know that we're all just fucking insulting each other like okay it's fine no and as i got looser as we went along through the production like they were even doing the behind the scenes like uh netflix uh like doc stuff and i would just say the crazy i'd be like yeah john lowe's my drug dealer

to the camera and then like walk off and i would think in my head i was like is that too much i'm like no that's what they brought you in for is to be a little chaos agent that drug dealer thing is funny because um when i when we made dukes of hazard johnny knoxville and sean william scott had both been in movies action movies with the rock and the rock had it has a joke a running joke that he does before um like after they say Scene four, take five Right Like right as they roll the cameras Rolling sound, he'll like bump Knoxville, he goes, did you get into that cocaine last night?

And then they go And they go to the scene, right? And so they were And he was doing that to Sean William Scott too And it's a total joke, The Rock doesn't do cocaine Right, or as far as I know It was meant meant to be like because Sean William Scott definitely doesn't do it yeah and Knoxville I don't think I don't even think he did it right I mean he's done it but um uh it was it was a gag and so now Sean and Johnny are in the car in the dukes of car together a

million times and he leans over goes did you get into that cocaine last night and not not laughing laughing laughing yeah so then uh we i get a call that says uh the president of warren brothers wants to talk to sean william scott this is a week later they've been watching what i'm watching the dailies and sean's like dude do you hear the president wants to talk to me and i'm like yeah he goes am i getting superman and i'm like i don't know i mean what maybe holy fuck right like we don't know we all think he's getting superman and he goes he goes into this teleconference thing and the guy goes are you doing cocaine down there yeah and he goes what

Sean William Scott is sober yeah like we Knoxville and I were not sober like we got into trouble and we were begging him

to come out with us and he wouldn't do it because he's like I can't he has a mental problem in terms of he's like a super version

of a midwesterner like he can't he's like I can't get out of a's like a super version of a midwesterner like he can't he's like i can't get out of a conversation with a stranger he goes i'm not going out with you right and we kept we went out every single night right so basically he heard the president heard this thing about the cocaine and he and he asked him he goes because i have to take you off the movie and he goes no no and he's like I'm the only one not doing cocaine yeah it's a tough spot for him because he can't sandbag everybody else but he's got to defend

himself that's funny that was a big movie yeah Dukes of Hazzard it was a big moment for me I was probably in 8th grade freshman Jessica Simpson yeah it was incredibly we had an incredibly fun time doing it yeah were

you a fan of the show i was a big fan of the duke's hazard yeah um and it's funny we got it in on reflection right before it would have been impossible to make you know with that flag on the roof i was just wondering about because you can't the car is called the general leaf so you can't make the movie without the flag on the roof. And in fact, the week before we were about to roll, Warners called me and said, we got to take the flag off the roof. And I'm like, okay, I have a list of four other directors who I know want to make this movie. I will help you.

I will help them sort of transition into being the director. Oh, dog, you're lining us in. And they were like, and then shortly after, I'm walking in the trailer area, and Knoxville walks up to me. He goes, we're not taking the flag off the roof. And I'm like, I know. He goes, because I'm not going to be in the damn movie that way. I said, I know.

Me neither. And I'm like, it's not that I'm for the Confederate flag. It's that you can't make you can't take either make it or don't make it you gotta honor the originals yes yes that's a tough one yeah I feel like today it would be a no well you just wouldn't make it they'd go well we're not putting can't do it or they bend it where it'd be like two black dudes in the lead right and then they could have the confederate right because it'd have some kind of irony baked into i mean to be fair we i told warmbros we will write a gag that takes the pressure off the duke boys and so what happens is they crash the car cooter uh played by dave kechner fixes up the car

and there's no flag on the roof in the opening of that movie. And then they sneak the car out because the cops are coming to get them. And they come flying out of the garage. And the car is totally pimped out. And little do they know there's a flag been painted on the roof. So it wasn't their fault. So then they go to, they're driving to Atlanta. And they go into sort of like a, you know, sort of a black neighborhood. And they're sitting at a light.

And these black guys are like like the fuck is this thing and they and the guys are still sitting in the car going what what's the problem and they go up here and then they point and that's when they discover the the flag on the room so we took them we took it took it off them was that like so you did that based off the note yeah yeah we did it based off the note it's a smart solve i mean you know broken lizard wrote that movie so we we would just be like how do we deal with this thing in a funny way have you seen avatar uh i saw the first one you haven't seen the second one no but i heard it's incredible dude it's pretty like majestic like the world is remarkable like the detail that he puts into like a flower a fish yeah you can

tell he's really just thinking about that stuff all day and then they know how to make some of the navi hot which i thought was really interesting i i um i met uh jim cameron at at uh james cameron at uh i don't know i don't know i'm enough to call him call him Jim, but at a cocktail party for the, Bill Paxton did a documentary for him. They went down to the Titanic in a submarine or something. And I was talking to him and he was like, because he was like, oh yeah, Super Troopers, right, right. That's like an independent film kind of big thing and I'm like yeah he goes I like I

like you know I'm into the whole independent film scene and I'm like really he goes yeah I mean I'd make an indie I'd make like you know six like 16 million I'd do that and we were laughing and he was a really fun fun funny guy I you know he's he's famous for being a tough director. Right. But he's a great cocktailer. Oh, that's cool. He was fun.

Nice. Are you worried about AI? What do you think? Well, I don't know. Like, I find it hard to believe. I found it hard to believe that AI could write a broken lizard movie. And then I heard how they do it, which is you input all the broken lizard movies into it, and then it spits out something. And I'm like, it must, that's a good way to do it, if you're going to do it, is to memorize our rhythm and the kind of jokes we make.

But it doesn't seem, look, I think you could easily make at the moment a drama or something because those are a bit more boiler they're a little bit more but you could probably i don't i don't know that you could make a full-on r-rated inventive comedy that way but maybe you can i don't know i don't like it yeah Yeah. I don't like it at all. Yeah. AI, it seems tough for, I guess I could learn comedy, but. The genie's out of the bottle. It gets comedy. It can do it all. I mean.

Yeah. And there's no putting it back. Yeah. I was listening to a podcast on it, how it, once it becomes sentient, it'll improve itself. And that's like exponential. Yeah. It's going to grow at a rate that we can't even comprehend.'s like become our god millions of years of evolution in a second does that work well i don't like robots yeah like i don't trust them our kids are going to be dating them so we

better you know they're constant i mean we have them on our phones they're constantly asking for us to fill out surveys i'm like you, you're so desperate, you fucking robot. Yeah. They are needy. I go to like CVS and they're like, there's no line at the robot self-check. I'm like, fuck that robot. I'm not doing that. I've never done a self-check.

Yeah, you live for person-to-person contact. You want that mix. I'm trying to keep these people employed so they don't crawl in my window when they're fucking jobless. Dude, that's a scary, yeah. I think people need to be employed. But when the inevitable happens and automation and AI replaces all of us,

what's the next gig? For me? Mm-hmm. So I wrote a novel recently, but you're saying the AI can write the novel, right? I still think it's a worthwhile endeavor, though, if only for the journey of it. It's going to be a lot of,

we're going to have to get into philosophy of like, it's not about people reading it, it's about us doing it. It's going to be a lot of, we're going to have to get into like philosophy of like, it's not about people reading it, it's about us doing it. That's the most human thing. Well, stand-up comedy, are we going to just put a robot up there and do that? I guess live performance is going to be the last to go. I mean, I see those little robots riding around Hollywood delivering shit. I want to kick them over.

I don't kick them over. Yeah, we're going to pick on them for sure. Do you ever worry that being mean... I'll jump a robot with you, dude. Do you ever worry about me, that you're being mean to the robots now and they're going to remember that shit? Yes, because it's all recorded. And I'm yelling mean shit. How many robots have you fucked up?

Well, like when Siri doesn't get something right and I'm alone in my car, I'm like, you fucking dumb shit. I asked for almond. Almond, not am-en, you know, whatever it is. Whatever she can't figure out. A-L-M-O-N-D, you dumb motherfucker. And I always feel like I'm right, but it's only the beginning, right?

She's going to figure out almond, and then she's going to come for me. What's your novel about? She's going to figure out almond, and then she's going to come for me. What's your novel about? I wrote a novel. So it's about four couples in suburban Chicago, and one of them is a brain surgeon. And they're kind of a little hard-charging, and they drink a little, they drug a little,

and they're having fun, and they're going, and they're having a lot of parties. And the brain surgeon discovers an affair that's happening within the group. And so then there's an attempt to cover it up. Then there's an attempt to blackmail. And it's sort of this suburban comedic thriller with penthouse forum style sex. Oh, really? Yeah.

I wrote, you know what I did is I wrote what turns me on and i used to read penthouse forum quite a bit and so i i i wrote the sex like that uh but the the book is at its core it's about the struggle between being a wild animal and a and a tamed human sure and it's called the wild and the tamed so who are your inspirations for that uh douglas sirk or someone like that who what's that the director he did like a lot of suburban stuff about people no i just you know it's a little bit like that that uh i mean i didn't read this book but uh big little lies but right but it's funny and there's like it's a way for me to tell that's like 390 pages so you could you can tell these long form jokes and these long stories that have these funny things within them.

And then they come back later and they come back later. It's my favorite thing to do is to write this novel. I mean, I'm almost done, but I'm, you know, I haven't even sold it. Did you write the sex scenes with the intention of turning people on when they read them or making them laugh i always think that if you if you uh i mean the broken lizard view on comedy is that if if we think it's funny then there's probably people out there who also think it's funny so we're not writing jokes for other people we're writing them for ourselves because we know we're indicative of the larger population. So I wrote what turned me on

and I'm guessing that people will be turned on by it too. That's a very vulnerable thing. And it is. And I've had a couple women read it. They look at you differently now. I think they want to have sex with me now. Oh, let's go, bro. That's the move, dude. And I think it want to have sex with me oh let's go bro

that's the move dude and I think it's cause of this cause you wrote a good sex scene I think I think you know there was a woman who was like I'm kind of a little wet

oh yeah spotting people up when they're reading your novel that's nice that's awesome what what what

what is the comedy podcast right no but Arnie makes me laugh what is what is Penhouse? It's a comedy podcast, right? No, but Arnie makes me laugh. What is Penthouse Forum? Okay, Penthouse Forum. So Penthouse, Playboy was just women naked, right? Penthouse had some penetration. Penthouse had some actual man-woman stuff, woman-woman stuff.

Occasionally you get woman-woman-woman stuff. But then they had a literary section of it and it's basically like stories so you know if like it's like i mean stories like my um wife and i were on a trip in africa? And the chief of the tribe was taking a liking to my wife. I read stuff like that. I like erotica. And then suddenly the guy's watching the chief have sex with his wife. I've read that one. Yeah, okay.

Yeah. My neighbor was a good guy. My neighbor likes to sunbathe in their panties, right? And whatever it is, it's something... And he's watching her. Something turns into something and it's these

four or five pages songs. Did you ever break yourself up while you were writing? Yes. That's amazing. I would... Well, first of all, I used to jerk off

to these penthouse forums because they also throw a couple pictures in there. They're not related to the story. I would improve them that way. They were just these regular... You're turned on, so take a look at this. But yeah, while I was writing my book, I would get chubbed up and I'd have to fucking get rid of it to keep on going. Well, it's like the broken lizard with jokes.

It's like if it turns you on, it's indicative of a larger population. Hopefully, right? And I think the people who are most popular in comedy and writing books and whatever are the ones who are somehow in the middle of the biggest group of people who are turned on by that. Yeah, yeah. You know. Yeah, I'm just going through my head. When I lived in Costa Rica, I didn't have Wi-Fi. So I had a couple of Irvin Welsh books and they had some pretty hot, skeevy sex scenes in there. And I would just have the pages dog-eared, and I'd be like, that's how I take care of this.

That's good stuff. Yeah. But you kind of feel highbrow when you're reading and masturbating at the same time. Yes. Because you're like, I'm reading. Like, this is a very intellectually nourishing thing I'm doing that not enough people do these days. And I'm getting a little hedonistic pleasure.

Yeah, you almost want to throw a pair of glasses on. Yeah, play the part. Yeah, I put on like a coat with patches on the elbows. Put on my glasses. Have a smart guy wank. Yes. Yeah, you're wearing a blazer and no pants. Yeah, we can't wear pants.

No, no, it makes it tough Unless you're wearing basketball shorts or something What else is cracking? Wednesday Wednesday I have Some shows in Kansas City this weekend Oh let's go

At the Comedy Club of Kansas City What's the one there? It's called the Comedy Club of Kansas City. What's the one there? It's called the Comedy Club of Kansas City. Okay, well named. And then I go on the road with Broken Lizard. We're going to go to Boston, Chicago. I'm going to throw out the first pitch there at the Cubs. I'm from Chicago.

Have you done it before? I have done it before. How nerve-wracking. So maybe I have made it, right guys? Can you throw some heat? I tried to throw heat last time, and it was a little high and outside, but I'm going to get it in there this time. I mean, I think even reaching the bag is impressive.

Yeah. Or the plate. And then we're going to go to Nashville. We're going to do something with WWE. Who just got merged today with UFC. Oh, right. An endeavor. Right, right, right. That's a huge

entity now. Wow. In Lincoln, Nebraska we're going and then we'll be San Diego at the Pendleton Air Force Base and then we'll come back to LA. Pendleton's cool. That's where I used to paintball as a kid. Yeah? On that whole huge thing? Yeah, they got a course out

there. Oh, that's cool. We should paintball sometime i love paintball us and broken lizard yeah yeah i've only done it once but i was like this is it's awesome thrilling it's it's the best to be hunted and then to hunt oh dude especially when you're in a primal mindset and you get a little 12 year old with like the best gun you shoot him in the face you work them terrible dude are you allowed to shoot in the face now? Well they have the face masks, so it just goes on, it just splats on their goggles.

When we did it, you weren't allowed to shoot in the face. Oh really? You weren't allowed to shoot above the clavicles, the collar bones. Interesting. And I remember sitting there and I turned and I saw a paintball coming and it went poonk, it hit me right in the neck. Worst place to get hit is the neck.

And I was like, I'm still alive. Yeah, dude. That's one thing in the paintball course is integrity. Wiping. There's a lot of wipers out there. Yeah, a lot of people don't have integrity on there and that's a huge, huge thing. Do you want to answer some listeners' questions? Yeah. Let's do it.

Do you have a... I don't have them. Sorry, man. You don't even have the questions? Not on my phone. Chad's been doing it lately. I should. I mean, you ask me if I want to answer some questions,

and then you don't have any questions. Yeah. What kind of operation is this? Does Bill Burr know this is going on? We're kind of laid back. Yeah, we're... Al Madrigal, does he know this is going on? We're kind of laid back Al Madrigal, does he know what's going on over here Without these questions? I got the questions

Yeah, they check in with us We talk to Bill like twice a day I don't know Bill, but the other guys know Bill They love him He's a funny dude This is going to require headphones Guys, I'm interrupting this podcast Letting you know once again that we are on tour

We have a huge show in Austin That we want you to sell out paramount theater jt what can they expect well i'm also anticipating because i flagged it in the first part of the ads like at the beginning that we wanted to sell out so i'm hoping by the time they get to this point it'll have happened they've already purchased the tick so i want to say thank you yeah to all the stokers who went straight into action. What can they expect? I mean, dude, me and Chad have been bringing it lately. Like your last set, me and Strider were both talking about it in Portland. Sharp, dude.

Oh, thanks, dude. A lot of new bits in there. Dude, you too, brother. And they're sounding crisp. Dude, you too, brother. Thank you, man. You're getting some profundity in there. I'm trying.

I'm always reaching for it. I think, look, if you know us from our prank videos or you know us from the pod, it's going to be a different flavor, but it's still going to feel consistent with everything we do. And I think you'll really enjoy it. It's just some straight standup. And then, dude, we do a Q&A at the end and that shit gets raucous. I mean, we were screaming at the Portland show, Voodoo Donuts With like 200 other people And why were we saying it?

Apparently they have beef with it Which I was surprised because I brought it up at the show Because I always hear about Voodoo Donuts In Portland and I was like guys Voodoo Donuts right? And they're all pissed People got pissed and then we just started screaming it because sometimes it feels good to chant And we'll probably chant In Austin

So whenever you guys don't like an austin we'll chant with you if there's a donut shop you hate clock it in buy some tickets put it in the holster and then we'll say fuck that donut shop yeah and like i don't want to hurt like mom and pop businesses but if it's because if it's for the sake of connection, sorry, mom and pop. You're on the streets now. That was fire. We're also brought to you by the legends at Helix Sleep. Oh, guys, get your tickets at chanjt.com. Chanjt.com.

We're also brought to you by the legends, Helix Sleep. This is one of our biggest sponsors, our most loyal sponsors. They love us. We love them. I love sleeping in their products. I mean, sleep's important. know it jt i saw something on instagram yesterday that said skip a workout if it means you'll get better sleep absolutely and you can get the best sleep of your life with helix sleep because their mattresses are top tier you get that two minute sleep quiz and it's honestly the best sleep of your life it's the perfect length for a quiz

yeah i mean how many questions is that like three it's not even dude one question it's two minutes you want to sleep good yeah well you can get soft medium firm goldilocks baby find that perfect one like are you a side sleeper are you a back sleeper all these kinds of things where you can get the perfect mattress for you and it's delivered to your door you don't need to go to a mattress store and go through the whole rigmarole of putting it in your car or strapping it to the roof like think about how much that blows you said in the pre-roll about like how many people have laid down on those beds i've even seen porns where they had sex in a mattress yeah i shot one there yeah you fuck athletic yeah i was the cuck in this scene oh dude but you even like the sensitivity

of the scene your love for your wife and your appreciation of the dude it was like so connected thanks man helix is offering up to 20 off all mattress orders and two free pillows for our listeners go to helixsleep.com go deep this is their best offer yet and it won't last long with helix better sleep starts now slash go deep. This is their best offer yet and it won't last long. With Helix, better sleep starts now. We're also brought to you by Legends Athletic Greens. Guys,

I take AG1 every morning because it makes me feel so good. You get vitamin D, you get all the prebiotics, probiotics, all the nutrition. JT's taking it every morning. You're glowing.

Thank you. It's just seeping out of your pores. How many biotics are in your body right now 60 60 biotics and you take it in the morning i take it in the morning makes me feel fantastic you know that like boost you get when you get nutrition in you where you just like want to attack life and you're like this is why i'm here to feel good for sure athletic greens can supply that for you oh dude let me read let me take that back on how many biotics are in me.

Oh, yeah. 68, dude. Oh, dude. Nice. I'm always looking for life hacks. That's why I trust Athletic Greens. Every scoop is packed with 75 vitamins, minerals, and whole food source super ingredients. So if you're looking for an easier way to take supplements, Athletic Greens is giving you a free one-year supply of vitamin D and five free travel packs with your first purchase.

Go to athleticgreens.com. That's athleticgreens.com. Check it out. All right. You want to say back to the show? Back to the show. All right. This first one is my cousin. Nice.

No way. Yeah. Here we go. Ho, ho. Tickle my taint and tell me it's Tuesday. What's up, stokers? It's Chad's cousin, Ev, calling in just to say hey. It's been a while since I've seen you guys, so I thought this was the best way to get in touch.

I really just wanted to say hey and give a big shout out to J.K. Congrats, buddy. You're going to be a great dad. I'm having twins. Nice. I have twins. Really? I was wondering if you guys are considering perhaps for middle names.

One named Boom, the other named Clap. Whoa. You know, why not? These kids are going to have quite a ride with you. Dad, can't wait to hear how it goes, man. Just really happy for you. And buckle up, buddy. It's going to be great.

Strider, if you're there, man, I just want to say what's up. Joe, if you're there, buddy, always good to have you on the pod bringing the heat and i also wanted to say i hope to see you guys on your next tour we'll do our best to come out uh for those jokers in the audience who haven't seen you guys live can't recommend it more if you're on the fence, I gotta say, go out, support live comedy.

Stop pulling your pud, put down the call of duty, go out, see the fellas, ask out that girl you've been thinking of asking out. Do it. You won't regret it. It's a great show. Other than that, guys, keep crushing it.

The content is fire lately. Hopefully, Small Island is up for an Emmy. Can't recommend that episode any higher. Chad, give our best and our love to Kennedy. Can't wait to meet the pup. We love you. Keep frothing, and we'll talk to you later. Cheers, boys.

I have no answer for that question. Less a question, more a call to action. That was just a nice pump-up. Which is in the spirit of the show. Yeah, nice pump-up. Shout to Evan, dude. Thank you so much for those nice words. But we did get some vital intel out of it.

You have twins, and I'm about to have twins. Yeah. Do you know if they're... Fraternal boy girl Good great What do you got I have sororal girl girl But not identical

Oh I made up sororal I don't know if that's Sounds right Feels right I was hesitant to ask They are really a good They like

They have always hung out with each other. And there's always another kid around to hang out with, which is really a great thing. I mean, they have an older brother who was also around,

but they just have a little connection that's gone all the way up to now, and now they're 16 years old. Yeah, you got a baked in partner in crime.

Yeah. Yeah, I'm really stoked on that because me and my bro are like besties and we hang out constantly. But we're separated by like 22 months, but that's not much. You kind of go through things at the same time.

Especially because he was a bit more mature. Is there like an alpha kid and like more of the follower kid? No, but there's one who handles the plans and the other one is like, I don't know, ask the other one. Right. But there's no alpha really. Yeah. I mean, it's just the the younger one doesn't really seem to care and the older one's like this is what i think we should do

that sounds like a potent combo yeah the younger one you know cracks a lot of jokes i mean they're both they're both funny though are you gonna put them into the comedy hustle uh you know they'd have to want to do it. I don't know. I would say no unless they express a desire for it, you know? Do you test your stuff on them? Like, do you show them cuts? You know, I'm a fairly dirty comic, so I don't really, I mean, I'm always almost trying to hide my jokes from them. Right, but they're going to read your erotica when it hits uh i mean i don't know i have to deal with that i'm like a sex addict i'm like what am i going to tell my kids about like all that stuff i'm like i don't know how to how do you and like you've partied before right a little how do you how do you how

do you frame those conversations because you don't want to be dishonest, because then they'll find out, and then they'll maybe not trust you on other things. So how do you frame it to them to keep them responsible without being dishonest? I tell them the truth. That's awesome. Because I think, you know, my son went to British Columbia today, and I was like, don't smuggle weed or mushrooms into Canada because it's a border thing.

And then I'm like, plus there's plenty there. Now, just keep control over yourself. And he goes, what? Okay. And I said, what? Okay. And I said, okay. So it's been said. Do you think he nifted in the... He wasn't planning on...

He didn't say, I wouldn't do that. He didn't say any of that. He just said, okay. He said, copy that, Pops. I don't know what to say. I mean, that's the best way that thing can go where do you guys live at uh we live uh uh near the hollywood bowl is it a so you grew up like in non-hollywood land yeah are you at all concerned about your kids growing up

like uh jaded because they're in this kind of glossy world? You know, they know a lot of people who are in show business as parents. It's just unfortunately the way it is. You can't change it. You can't change it. Like, would I prefer they grew up in the Chicago suburbs? Yeah. I think that would have been fun. But this has been very fun for them, too.

Have they seen all your movies? No. They've seen Super Troopers, and they have not seen Beer Fest. Although my daughters, I would pick them up from a party, and they'd load this little beer pong table into my trunk and I'm like

it stinks of beer and I'm like you guys drinking? they smell like shit they're like yeah we're playing beer pong I'm like I mean

you're not gonna hide it? yeah and they're like we're better at beer pong than you you know and I'm like you little motherfucking can your son beat you up?

well he's 6'4 oh he's a big boy wow but you got that dad it'll be a fight it'll be a fight it'll be a fight Can your son beat you up? He's 6'4". Oh, he's a big boy. Wow. You got that dad edge. It'll be a fight. It'll be a fight. It'll be a fight. Nice.

Have you ever played beer die? No. Oh, yeah. You play beer die? Well, we called it a different thing. Snappa? It used to be called Mexican. Oh, really?

Yeah. It was called Mexican dice. I don't know. It's like if you roll a two and a one or a, you know. Beer dice where you throw a die. It has to hit the latter half of the table. It's got to go sky high. Sky high.

It's got to go higher. You've got to get some good altitude. I've never played that. And then it bounces off. If it bounces off the table, you've got to catch it with one hand. If you don't, then you take a choke. And maintaining your hand-eye coordination after a couple pitchers can be difficult. And you have to throw with your hand in the air?

Yeah, like this. And there's no, it's just, you got to get it up there. Yeah. There's a lot of back and forth on that. I've been known to throw a little low and get some pushback from the spectators. Sure. The big thing, though, is if you get a splash down, because there's cups on every corner. So if you get the dye in the cup, splash, you chug.

Oh, it's a negative? No, the team that got splashed. Oh, got it. That sounds like a great game. It's my favorite game. It's big at UC Santa Barbara. Got it. But you have the definitive drinking game film.

Yeah. Like, that's your corner. We didn't have that game. It wasn't known at the time. Yeah, I the definitive drinking game film. Yeah. Like that's your corner. We didn't have that game. It wasn't known at the time. Yeah, I think it's fairly new. Yeah. And you guys did the boot in that, and that became like a cultural phenomenon. Yeah, the boot.

There was a boot in the bar Richter's in New York City. We used to go after. We were all waiters at this sort of fancy place uptown, Upper East Side. And we would go to that bar, and the bartender would bet one of my friends, I think it was Steve, that he couldn't chug the entire boot, which is two and a half beers. And he goes, and Steve's like, I can't fucking chug two and a half beers. And he goes, you can't spill a single drop. And he goes, and Steve's like, I'm going to fucking chug two and a half beers. And he goes, you can't spill a single drop. And he goes, no problem.

And he's chugging this beer, and the bartender's like, I'll let you go first, and then I'll do it, and the winner, whatever. And Steve's chugging the beer, and the bubble forms, and it explodes into his face. And so he spilled a drop. And the bartender did it, and he turns the boot at the end, and the bubble dissipates.

Wow. And he drank it. And we were like, let's try to remember that. Yeah, yeah. Turn. You got to turn the boot. Dude, we hung out with Arnold one time. We met his buddy.

Rolf. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Rolf. Who's on the team, on the opposing team. That guy's great. Yeah. Yeah, all those Jack dudes are great. Yeah.

They've all got a lot of personality. Wrestlers, too. They're like just brimming with personality. Yeah. Rolf was the, was Mr mr universe at one point and then uh the other guy uh god he's so funny the shorter like muscular guy yeah he was also mr universe um but yeah arnold he they would tell he would tell us that he had he would have lunch with arnold all time. And so we've never met Arnold, but we were like, Arnold must know of the film Beer Fest. Just from Rolf.

That's awesome. And that made us feel good. In your experience, who's like the most electric actor? In Hollywood? Yeah. Oh. Wow. Incredible. in hollywood yeah oh wow incredible um the most electric actor it's impossible for me to say because there's just different there's so many different ways

to do it well i i'm trying to roll through all the actors i've worked with and that's a hard thing um oh wait i know it's you no i won't accept it i won't accept it i can't i'll tell you who it's not it's not me you don't think so i'm fine i'm fine i know my lines and i know to say i'm in right rhythm. And I can act just fine. But I don't mean to undersell myself. I'm perfectly good. But there are some people who are just magnificent. You know who was, I don't know how much acting she's doing now, but Olivia Munn has incredible timing and pace and funny.

She's so funny. Interesting. Yeah. So funny. So smart. Yeah. Yeah, she gets it. Yeah.

Were you a plays guy? I was in a lot of plays i was in like a lot of musicals i played tony in west side story which one's tony he's the main dude mother okay so he's running it's the uh he's he's the pistols and the uh jets and the sharks. The jets and the sharks. I was in a Scottish musical called Brigadoon. I played a Scottish Klansman. Can you do a good accent? I'll go down to the creek,

and by God, if I see him, I'll throw him in it. That was my first line in show business. That's fucking great, dude. I'm writing, by the way, a Scottish golf movie. Oh, nice. I'm a golf addict. Yeah. You were telling Chad you've golfed 60 days in a row. Yeah, 60, the last 60 days in a row.

But I mean, over the past two years, I've golfed about 700 days. That's crazy. I get a little bit of golf in every day if possible. So what is driving range? Nine holes? No, I mean, it's somewhere between four holes and uh yesterday i played 27 wow i really admire these guys who can do like a round and a half i don't know how you do it well i played in the morning and i played a match against a guy and i lost and then my son wanted to play in the

afternoon so i went back do you have a favorite guy to golf with um yeah i mean it's they're they're it's fun out there because there are a lot of funny guys out there who who do who are like insulting and you know it's just these guys at the at the my club are you throwing down some action on the rounds yeah yeah throw a little action down what's that you ever like taking someone's pink slip or anything like that i mean i never like to bet something where someone's going to feel bad at the? I mean, I never like to bet something where someone's going to feel bad at the end. I just like to take their 25 bucks and be done with it.

That's nice. Hey, that hurts. It hurts. That's what hurts. Yeah. You don't want to lose. You know, I always text them later, thanks for the money.

Do you believe in the maxim, drive for show, putt for dough? No. I think if you can't drive, you're not going to even in the game game If you're going to be putting it right Putting it left The driving a ball is like a free throw You should be able to stick it

Into the fairway almost every time That's the freebie of it Yeah, it's on a tee, it's the same exact shot There's nothing to it But you get dog legs, you get some water You get some obstructions I'm not saying it's nothing to it But you get dog legs You get some water You get some obstructions I'm not saying it's nothing I'm just saying

You If you You could perfect the drive It's the one thing That's 100% predictable Do you think anyone's Captured the essence Of golf in film?

Look We're There have been Two great golf comedies Caddyshack And And Happy Gilmore And

We are gonna make The second Funniest Golf movie of all time Comedies Caddyshack And Happy Gilmore And we are going to make The second funniest Golf movie of all time Caddyshacks You just can't It's up to you What you want to put At number one

Oh you think Gilmore No no I said it's up to you My opinion is Is my opinion But you know If you talk to the younger guys They all love Happy Gilmore more And if you talk to the younger guys, they all love Happy Gilmore more

and if you talk to the older guys, they all love Caddyshack more. Not to get too into the weeds on it, but for me, it's like Happy Gilmore's genius and it has a good cast, but it has, it's got one guy at the center.

Caddyshack's got like 15 heavy hitters and they're all doing big chunks. Yeah. Like it's got Murray, Chase, Dangerfield. It's just,

Knight. Yeah. It's a lot to uh compete there's a book called uh cinderella story the making of caddyshack and it is incredible oh i gotta check that yeah because the guy who wrote it they made a movie about him too right kenny or something like that kenny and he was those guys were wild as fuck yeah you know the funny thing about that movie was um what happened is they shot it in Florida. And it's supposed to, it's the Murray, Brian Del Murray wrote it with Ramos, I think, Harold Ramos. And it was supposed to be like a Chicago suburban golf course. So they found one in Florida that kind of looks like that.

And they went to make that movie, and the Blues Brothers was being made in Chicago a few months later. And so, now this movie was being made in the, must have been the early 80s or late 70s, and they were in Florida, and they were getting paid in per diem in cash. So there was an immense amount of cocaine being done on the set of Caddyshack. This is what it says in the book. in cash so the there was an immense amount of cocaine being done on the set of caddyshack this

is what it says in the book and they became known in hollywood as the cocaine movie down in florida and belushi and akride heard about that and they're like oh yeah we'll show you a cocaine movie and so then they the animal or whatever blues brothers they were Brothers, that's where Belushi apparently became addicted to cocaine. Damn. You always hear about that, like comedians at the comedy store or on sets doing that. But for me, I feel like that would mess up my timing. That's what Bill Murray says about cocaine and comedy. He goes, it's a timing rhythm game, and that doesn't work for your rhythm.

Yeah. Especially the listening part. Yeah. Right. Right. Exactly. I mean, I haven't done stand-up comedy on cocaine. I used to do it on Adderall a lot.

It felt amazing. You're 10 feet tall and bulletproof. Like if a joke bombs, you can't feel it. Yeah. But maybe you lose something because that sensitivity is not there. I't know i mean were you successful at it uh relative to the rooms i was doing and what my uh success before that had been but i don't think i realized i wasn't going to keep progressing if i was relying on it all the time yeah my hunch is it's not ideal but i i know that some people get high and do it and I've done that

you know I've done that and it's been pretty successful but I don't generally do it I generally go out on one vodka soda I think that's right I did shrooms for a set we did it two sets we did in Spokane and the first one was like magical like the shrooms helped a ton but then the second

one the crowd was tougher and so I find it makes the highs high but it makes the lows terrifying almost insurmountable where you're like you're not just doing bad you're thinking about it in like such a deep way where you're like this is so brutal i have to run away i can't be here and you don't want to have those thoughts no trying to entertain people no i don't want anyone who pays to see me to think that sucked yeah for me personally i need to be on i have to be on nothing nothing i don't want anyone who pays to see me to think that sucked yeah for me personally i need to be on i have to be on nothing nothing i can't that's its own drug it's scary my first set i was like blacked out but then i just i kind of went sober for a few years yeah and so i just established

that pattern but then i just feel like in everything needs to I need to be like fully kind of coherent. Yeah. To have all the, to be able to perform comedy. I just, I hear you. I just, my heart is pitter-patting a little fast. And so that one drink for me, it just calms it down. You know, one drink might help me. Yeah. I haven't, you know, I haven't, i drank beers on stage when we did a live podcast but

that's it yeah so maybe it would work this is this is kind of a common cue but i feel like things have gotten more professional i haven't been on many sets but it feels like that's the general tenor of things do you think we don't want everybody to be on coke but are we missing some of that chaos factor in uh in our entertainment these days i don't know i i think the thing the the chaos factor is the the problem is more uh in the fear of of where it could go of of the of the audience lynching us for making these jokes. You know, like that's where the chaos gets dulled. You know, I don't think, you know, there's so many grip trucks in the past

that used to be like, that's where you go to get the cocaine. It wasn't true ever of my era. It was before me. I don't know that the movies were better before. I don't, you know, but I don't know. I mean, I don't even, I don't drink when I direct. I've been, I've done it, I did it once on Happy Endings.

Adam Pally asked me to go back to his trailer. And he's like, I'm not coming out of the trailer unless you have a vodka soda. And it's like midnight. I'm like, I got to go. Fine. I'll fucking. So I had one. And I did it.

That's a good story. And he was also, he was like, he was smoking a joint while I'm having this. I'm like, and we're out on the Paramount lot. I'm like, are you out of your fucking mind? And he goes, what's the problem? I'm like, you can't do this anymore. And he goes, yeah, I do it all the time. And I'm like, are you out of your fucking mind? Yeah. And he goes, what's the problem? I'm like, you can't do this anymore. And he goes, yeah,

I do it all the time. And I'm like, okay, great. And the second, but I did, yeah, he's a wonderful guy.

I just saw him. But the other time I was directing the Dukes of Hazzard and there was a scene where Willie Nelson is supposed to be smoking a joint

out by the barn. And I told Warner Brothers, I'm like, let's take the day off today guys you don't need to show up uh and so the executives didn't show up i stripped the crew down and i'm shooting willie smoking a joint with his road manager this guy david anderson uh and willie's like uh i said so uh he goes by the way i don't i don't um smoke the fake stuff that's what he said he goes, by the way, I don't smoke the fake stuff. That's what he said. He goes, I won't do the scene. Integrity. If I have to smoke the fake stuff, I'm like, all right, all right.

He goes, I'll supply it. You don't have to worry about that. I'm like, okay, great. And so, we're sitting there and we're rolling. And he goes, get in the scene with me. And I was like, okay. So, I get in there and I'm fucking smoking the joint. And it was like, you couldn't say no to him.

Right. He's grandfathered in. Yeah. We all trust him. We know he can show up when he's fucking blitzed. Right. And yeah. And so I had to direct the next couple hours of the day like that.

But that's all I've done in my whole career. I think if there's a grip check with Coke, I don't know if I would last. I'd have to do it. I'm the kind of guy, if it's around. Yeah. No, no, no. I would have done it for sure, but it just wasn't around. Right, right, right.

And, you know, they used to do 17, 18 hour days and they would say the grip truck is fueling the movie. Right. Yeah. Yeah, but, you know, it's not that way anymore. Top Gun, Days of Thunder Dude Days of Thunder Non Tom Cruise films

Right He's probably just supplying the crew with energy Just by virtue of his Who he is Yeah I mean you know Like some people probably died for sure Some people on the way home died We all do

We all do die But you know I think now It's a little more buttoned up In your experience of the below the line departments who's the coolest i would say uh you know the the grips are are they go between being i used to be afraid of them because they look pretty bad they're all muscular. Yeah, they're cool. And you're like, are they? And they got tats.

You know, and you just thought maybe they'd not like me or beat me up. But they tend to be the coolest. They tend to have the ping pong table and, you know, they tend to have the party afterwards. And, you know, I tend to be probably the grips. Big ups to the grips. Yeah, they're cool. Yeah. Yeah, it's funny.

Every time I see them, I'm like, you should be on camera, dude. I'm like, you look badass just carrying shit. Rugged. Yeah. Tatted. It's like we did Hawaii Five-0. Stunt guys.

They're just awesome. Yeah, they're awesome. They're jacked. Yes. Confident. Yes. Yeah, we had a jack stunk guy on unstable yes uh jimmy he's got the arms on him yeah jimmy jimmy you know i asked him for that routine uh you what i asked him for his arm like reggie oh did he give it to you yeah he's looking

pretty jacked right now pal thanks brother yeah not like jimmy though but he was you know what's funny is the routine he gave me i was well, that's like standard issue muscle and fitness, like hypertrophy for the arms. I was like, what are you really doing, dog? Don't give me that soft sell. Like, really tell me what's going on. Yeah, the stuntmen are always cool. I mean, no doubt.

You know what they said on Hawaii Five-0? They said that Tom Cruise is the best stuntman they've ever seen. Really? Yeah. I don't doubt it. I don't doubt it. I don't doubt it. I never met the guy, but impressive. That base jump from the dirt bike,

you guys seen that? No. For the next Mission Impossible, he's jumping off a cliff. It has a huge Evel Knievel ramp. He's jumping off a cliff. He did it like six or seven times with a dirt bike,

and he base jumps off the dirt bike. It's sick. Could die from that. Well, you see his promo for like the new mission like thanking people for watching top gun he's just in free fall i i watched it i'm like i want to do that so bad i mean knoxville tried uh after after we became friends after Diggs Hazard. And I went to his office once, and it was just after Evel Knievel's birthday. I don't know if he's alive. I don't think so. But they were celebrating him, jackass guys were.

And Knoxville was going to try to uh like try to do a a flip on a on a dirt bike and he'd never ridden a motorcycle before wow and so the guy's like no problem just hit this hit this dirt ramp at at like 50 it's fast and when you get to the top pull back right right right as the wheel hits the air pull back sounds easy And he goes okay So he goes and does it and you see all the footage and he's far boom slams And then he tries it again ah slams. He did it on a regular ramp It's like a dirt Wow thing and he tried he did five I watched him crash at five takes right and the guy's like you're thing. And he tried, he did five, I watched him crash five takes, right?

And the guy's like, you're not, you're not at 50. He just, if either got to be a 50 or it's not going to work. And he goes, okay. So he gets it going a little faster than 50, I guess. And he went poof. And he is way high in the air and he falls all the way down, lands on his back. The bike lands on the back tire, and the handlebars go wham, and slam right into his dick and break it. That's when he broke his dick?

That's when he broke his dick. He's well known for having a catheter in his cock. So the meeting I had with him, he goes, you got to see what I got. And he has this fucking catheter going into the end of his dick it's this awful thing and uh dude the sacrifice he had it for two years oh he's catheter list now well he's it's out now yeah his cock's normal yeah so his dick last night was great that's awesome looking good he seems like the coolest he's the best yeah all the actors you've worked with who has the best piece oh good cool the best piece you all the actors you've worked with, who has the best piece? Oh, good call. The best piece?

You mean cock? Yeah. Well, it's got, I mean, can I include myself? Yeah. I mean, you know. You got a nice piece on you? I do, man. That's awesome.

I do. You have that energy. Well, my full name is Giant Jumbo Lingam Chandrasekhar, and it translates to Victorious Large Penis Rising Moon. It's a family name. Were your parents aware of that? Well, what happened was that I was 25 and I was making these movies. And for the editor's credit, I didn't want to take written by acting.

So I made the editor's credit Jumbo Lingam, which is my middle name. And my friend was watching the movie with his Indian buddy and his mother. And when the jumbling came up on the screen, she started laughing. And my friend's like, what's so funny? She goes, well, you know what that word means. And he's like, what? He goes, large penis.

And he goes, it does? And so he calls me. He goes, dude, do you know your name means large penis? And I'm like, what? I'll call you back. And so I call my mom. I'm like, mom, does my middle name mean large penis? And she goes, well, literally, yes.

But it's a euphemism for power. And I'm like, you couldn't have told me that? You couldn't have told me in high school? I'm just an Indian kid trying to make it. But I had this large penis thing going. That's hilarious. That's nice. Do you want to get into the last bit?

We do a Beef Babe and Legend of the Week. Sure. Okay, so. What happened to the questions? No more questions, huh? Should we do more? You want another one? No, no.

I don't need anything. Whatever you guys want to do. It's your show. I can hit a cue. Okay. We got Bachelor Party. I'll list off the subjects. If one hits you, I'll click it.

Bachelor party Canadian Chill lawyer Ex-girlfriend spilling tea Family Relatish Graduation relationships Nomad life need travel suggestions I think that's probably what do you think of that bunch

Ex-girlfriend spilling tea That's the one I wanted Alright here we go Oh shit my headphones Yo what's going on dude Ex-girlfriend spilling tea. That's the one I wanted. All right, here we go. Oh, shit, my headphones. Yo, what's going on, dude? Got a pretty serious dilemma here, and I genuinely didn't know where else to take this question.

This is definitely something that is weighing on me, so I really thought this was a good opportunity. So I have one of my best friends, right? And he was dating this girl for five years. They broke up because he didn't want to marry her. You know, pretty typical stuff, right? And she's still friends with some of, like, the people in our friend group, right? So, like, right after they broke up, she's hanging out with one of the girls. hanging out with one of the girls and she tells she starts telling all pretty much like his secret to this other girl in our friend group who's a loud mouth by the way like she had no problem

telling us and like her boyfriend who's in the friend group like what the fuck's going on here so long story short she my best friend's ex-girlfriend, shared with our friend group that she had caught him several times picking his nose and eating the boogers. And JT, I know you got like the fart thing, man. So like, I'm sorry if that like grossed you out. But, you know, I don't know how to look at him. And it's genuinely taking away from our relationship. And I've known this dude since sixth grade.

And, you know, no spoilers or anything. Like, we're not five. You know, we're 30. So, and I know everyone kind of has their own little, like, weird quirks behind doors, especially when it comes to, you know, personal hygiene. A little strange, but, like, I just you know, personal hygiene, a little strange, but like, I just,

dude, I can't get this out of my head. Like one of my best friends, like picks his fucking nose and eats his booger suit. I just think it's gross. And please, Stoke Lords, tell me how to proceed in this relationship.

Thanks guys. Wow. That's huge. I'm glad we picked this one. I mean, in full candor, I did think the tea was going to be a bit more high stakes. Tea worthy?

Mm-hmm. What's the tea? Tea is like a, it's a phrase now that just means like gossip or like what's the hot stuff that no one knows about that we're finally picking up on. Oh. Like is it for hot tea or is it...

I guess because people talk about that stuff over tea perhaps. A big tea bag. Could be. Could be tea bagging. Okay. Could be balls. You know... Could be.

I just don't... He does, this guy does allude to the fact that people do weird things when they're alone that are probably more animalistic uh play with their nipples or whatever the fuck they do right you know yeah not me um uh but eating boogers is just i don't know what the what the like the ai will never eat its own boogers right it's never that that should have been edited out of our our genome the booger eating thing but it's it's unacceptable i just

don't like booger eating i find it to be you know we live in a land of plenty with lots of food you don't need to be eating boogers but if you found out your homie was doing it behind closed doors and he knew when he was out in public to keep it holstered do you feel like you give him a pass because that's his own kind of i would not mention it and try to forget it but this guy can't seem to get over it this dude's really harping on it i mean the second time he said picks his boogers and i felt that i was like okay this is gross let's give this dude some credit though that he dated this gal for five years and the most damaging bit of intel she could have on him was that his hygiene is a little nasty.

I mean, you date me for five years, you got a lot more ammo to fire on my side. And I think too, let's look at the source. Right. Yeah, maybe he did it once. Yeah. And then she's taken from that. She's making a big deal.

She's like, he does it all the time. Remember the time, you know, because maybe he did it once. Yeah. And then she's taking from that. She's making a big deal. She's like, he does it all the time. Remember the time, you know, because maybe he was inspecting it. Bro, she's an unreliable reporter. She's biased. She's got an ax to grind. They don't put her thing in the New York Times. It's a good point because I've been married. Or they would now.

I've been married for a while and I have not once picked my nose in front of my wife. That's amazing. Well, because she's not going to dig it. Yeah. Yeah, I try not to shit. I've done it alone. All my gals around. Yeah.

So maybe this woman made up the whole damn thing. She's a fucking liar, this chick. Yeah. Sorry, that was too much. I would get mad at the ex-girlfriend, dude. Call her a liar. And dude, it was such a targeted attack. She went to the loud mouth of the group knowing she would be

Loud horn or was it called fucking loudmouth? No, what's the thing that you speak into bull home megaphone bullhorn bullhorn? Bullhorn Bullhorn for all this stuff. Yeah, I think you don't think she you know has her own stuff You don't think she's had a in own stuff you don't think she's had a in the five years they knew each other had some um kind of like collogical issues that he's staying mom on because he's a fucking prince yeah i think i'm fired up i think this guy should be commended because like you said that's that's all she's got that's the best like like that's all like this guy should be commended for being a prince. Because it's like, all right, dude.

I think he should be rewarded for being a good guy. Yeah. Misdemeanor, not felony. Yes. Also, it's gross, but like not reflective of intelligence. I have a homie, bright as all get out, MBA, knows everything about it. He could have been if he would have stayed on the test. Nice.

But, you know, he was looking out for his organ function. But he's bright with it and he's a booger eater. But he owns it. We filmed him one time

doing it and confronted him with it and he thought it was going to be more embarrassing and he was like, oh, that's it? Yeah.

That's the thing. You think you're going to get these booger eaters. Most of them have actually made their peace with it. Yeah. It's disgusting.. You think you're going to get these booger eaters. Most of them have actually made their peace with it. Yeah. It's disgusting.

I'm grateful I'm not a booger eater. Dude, yeah. Yeah. I'd pick, though. Hey, man, who doesn't pick? You've got to pick. But alone. In predilections, I'm glad I avoided one booger eating two.

You can guess it. Pedo. Oh, my. All right, let's hop into the next section yeah right um all right chad so you'll you'll figure it out chad who's your beef of the week all right my beef of the week is the style police i put up a photo this is a couple weeks old i put up a photo from the unstable premiere and i was wearing a black suit black shoes and a brown belt i didn't know that was a faux pas and people were railing on me for this faux pas black shoes brown belt yeah yeah what do you think of that does that make you go like a dude you don't know how to dress? Yeah But I'll tell you

Like I don't I don't You know I just learned it young Yeah That the shoes and the belt Are supposed to match But I don't care

But the problem is People need something to say Right But going forward Unless you want to make it your signature you know yeah that's why you don't wear white belts because you're probably not going to wear the white shoes right it's good call yeah i'm of two minds about it like look i think you got to look put together but i think all these rules are meant to be broken. And a hundred years from now, that could be the standard.

Yeah. Like fashion just swings arbitrarily from, you know, I'm not a suit guy. Combination to combination. That was the second time I wore a suit in my life. You look good. Yeah. Would you do it again?

Yeah. I'd match this belt and the shoes. Oh, you would match them now? No, actually, you know what? Now that I said that, no, I will not. I'm going to mismatch them every time. I'm going to stick it to actually you know what Now that I said that No I will not I'm gonna I'm gonna mismatch him Every time I'm gonna stick it to

You know Trent 903 You can turn it into something By mismatching And being like Yeah that's style Hello Yeah

Dude my beef of the week Is literally A love song To beef It is Stevie Nicks And Lindsey Buckingham I know it's been making

The rounds for a while and i'm a little behind on it but there's this clip that's just all over social media of her singing silver springs and with lindsey buckingham in 97 like i don't know some 20 years after they probably recorded it and towards the end of it she gets animated it's about him it's about their breakup and she just starts singing right at him and that last minute and a half is like the most powerful minute and a half of any kind of art content from any medium i think you can look at i mean there is so much talent so much history and just so much honesty in it and the way he's looking at her and she's looking at him i just microanalyze like each five second clip and like what i see is like they're older now he has a wife and kids and has kind of

sold out to like the the bourgeois life you know he's not the true artist that they both were when they were young but she's committed to it she doesn't have kids she is the gypsy she wrote about and she's saying hey like you might have the better life off stage but in this moment i get to make you feel small and i get to own you and in his eyes he's like you're right you're right but he's so locked in on the guitar like he's such a beautiful guitarist and uh it's i love beef i love when two forces are colliding and it just makes you understand why they're such a great band because like they were all fucking each other and doing drugs and they just channeled it all into the music and because of that i think and it obviously was short-lived because you can't do that forever but the music they created is i

don't know it's top of the food chain for me it's funny because my beef of the week was going to be that i don't think you know what the word beef means but now i realize we're using beef in different ways your beef was you were pissed off that people made fun of you for the way you dressed. You had a beef with them. Right. You were talking about a great performance. I'm like, oh, he must think a great performance is beef.

But in fact, you meant the beef between Lindsay Buckingham. Yeah, the performance to me was predicated on beef. Yeah. And if it wasn't that top cut sirloin, it would have been such a banger. Right, wow. I mean, I'm going to get real down and dirty and say I had a very good beef cheeseburger last night.

Get out, dude. It was blue cheese, crispy bacon, raw onion, tomato, two sides of mayonnaise, french fries. Mayonnaise is big. And some steamed spinach. I love blue cheese on a burger and mayonnaise. That shit just always- Me too. It rocks and makes it dirty.

But otherwise, I don't have any beef right now. Dude, that's good. Sometimes the best beef is just always rocks and makes it dirty. But otherwise, I don't have any beef right now. Dude, that's good. Sometimes the best beef is just a good beef. Just beef. Sometimes you got to look around for the beef. Yeah.

That means you're living well. Yeah. Do you like beefing with people though? Do you get any charge out of it? I mean, you know,

I like, I eat nothing. I try not to beef with people. That's good. But, you know, there are some. I try not to beef with people. That's good. But, you know, there are some people I have beef with. Nice. But are those people, are they always in beef?

Like, is that more about them, the common denominator in all the beef? Is there beefiness? It's a small thing between us that created beef. For sure, dude. Chad, who's your babe of the week? My babe of the week is uh speaking of food items it's the jamocha milkshake

from Baskin Robbins have you guys tried this no dude so good it's great it's incredible and that's your

babe of the week yeah which means what like you're turned on by it starts yeah well that's for sure

not sexually really but you're like it makes you orgasmically excited yeah yeah yeah and you know i actually i guess we always thought of legend and babe as interchangeable like it started off as like could be a female but now we're just like you know babe can be a legend but i do like categorizing is that as something that makes me excited yeah through my whole body

and jamocha milkshake for sure does that. When we started, our babe of the week was just a hot lady. And then we started throwing in some hot dudes to keep it even. But then after a while, you're like, I don't know if I just want to talk about people being hot all the time. I think I want to get into the substance of it a bit more. Not that that's anything. It's not a cheap thing to be hot. But there just felt like there was a lot more babe meat on the bone.

Right. But not beef meat. The Jamocha Milkshake, to its credit, the presentation is hot. Even though it's cold. My babe of the week is this place called Kazunori in Studio City. Dude, I know. There are a couple of those. I mean, they have only sushi rolls.

You a big food guy? I'm an eat to survive guy hey hell yeah man but when I eat I eat what I want nice dude not boogers though I can tell you that no don't do it no dude my baby of the week I'm gonna go traditional I'm gonna keep it hot is the uh one of the female navis who lives with the sea people on Pandora. Yeah. They CGI'd her up nice, dude. Nice. And she was sweet. Like, good-natured person. Looked out for the new kids.

Didn't bully them, which, you know, would have been easy. Yeah, she really took the high road often. Do you remember her name or no? No, no, no, no. It was like, you know how they do their names over there? It was like Chinahook or something. Yeah, right. But just whatever the name was, pure smoke.

Was it tough not to stroke in the theater? I was at home with my girlfriend. Oh, nice. So I had full permission. That's awesome. Don't stroke in a theater, guys. Pee Wee Herman. I know.

It's all you need to see at once. Just one thing. He did it and that was it. And that's all he's known for now. Well, I mean, he's such a big talent. And then he's out He's out Chad who's your legend of the week

It's Strider He's a guy on our crew It was his bachelor party a couple weekends ago He's just the best Good vibes all around He puts a smile on your face Funniest guy ever He's just an absolute legend he's getting

married stanky has fiance and he's on what crew this crew this crew yeah nice going deep crew he goes deep but we don't go too deep because we have small dongs he brings it and he has he's he's i think we i have a smaller penis than, but he says he has the smallest penis. But then in every other way, like his soul is big dick for sure. Oh yeah. Cause he's just honest. You know, he kind of is just one big giant cock in the best way possible. He looks like a fucking handsome regal dick.

Dude, my legend of the week. You know what? I'm going to go with Bertolina. with bertolina oh nice yeah oh it got to because he came to strider's bachelor party and bertolina was an absolute stud because he was in the unenviable position of uh having like he knew the least amount of people there yeah so when you're coming into a sitch like that you know a bachelor party is like super intimate you're like how am i gonna fit into the flow i mean the guy was it was peanut butter and jelly baby he was the man him and one of our other buddies they had a long deep talk in the hot tub that spanned three hours we watched

funny movies together bernalina was on fire and yeah he's just a he's a classic hang and then he did the thing you know they did like a tv show where they put a bunch of 10 year old british girls and a bunch of 10 year old british boys into little houses and watched how they lived and the girls were much more organized and the boys like tore everything apart and didn't make meals and had no entertainment like the girls like put on plays and so people you take from that that like dudes don't coexist well that it's all lord of the flies if it's the first time we've met each other, perhaps, but go to a bachelor party

and see the harmony that you'll see there. It's dudes stepping up and fulfilling roles, and Bertolino did that. He was first one out on Sunday morning, made breakfast for everybody. I woke up, hung over, had a bunch of hash browns just sitting there for me. That's really nice.

I'm going to go my legend of the week which is he's not around anymore but it's norm mcdonald the greatest and i heard uh what i saw on instagram i saw jane fonda read one of his jokes and she read it what he wrote but i'm gonna just read it the way he would have he goes i've had enough with all these really overconfident bodies of water. So stand back, Lake Superior. I love that guy. We did a top comic draft where we drafted our top comedians of all time. Yeah, it was fun.

You had Norm on your list. Norm was my second pick. He's just such a one-of-a-kind person yeah and and i wanted to there's no one else like him like i don't know who who sounds like him nobody no he would always sort of talk about trying to have the setup for the joke be the punchline for the joke and there's some examples of i don't know what they exactly are but i mean i remember one was that uh julia roberts is getting a divorce from Lyle Lovett because she realized he's Lyle Lovett or something like that. That's right.

Yeah, what a killer. All right, last part. We do a quote of the week. Chad, what's your quote of the week? My quote of the week comes from my mom. She was like, I can't believe how much you guys talk about boning and whacking off on the podcast it's for my mom yeah it was a joyful lighthearted tone she was no she was proud of you

yeah she was like i sure delivered that in a kind of stern way but no it was exciting um my quote of the week and i'm gonna mangle it but it's from the most No not the most recent It's from Succession From two weeks ago Are you guys digging The new Succession? I haven't seen the new season yet I haven't seen the second episode It kind of freaks me out

As it's going along I always feel like It's losing its way But then it always By the end of the season I'm like This was the best thing ever And

There's a Line from Episode one That's Everyone's quote In Making the Rounds Tom is making fun of this gal that greg brought to uh logan's birthday party and he goes look at that what is it look at that

terribly capacious bag she has and he just rips on her bag and one of the lines just looks like she's about to slide it across the bank floor it's so funny because you know dudes will do that to each other they'll pick on each other for you know something their gal does or something they're wearing and it's just so funny for the way that these two dudes make fun of each other is to make fun of the bag like i've never heard dudes do that but it makes perfect sense for that character my quote of the week is also from my mother uh and when i because when i was a kid and it would be raining she we had no umbrellas and we lived you know we lived in chicago and she and i said why and she goes we don't use umbrellas because the rain is as good as the sun

that's a nice mentality i like that yeah. I think so, too. Hell yeah. How did your folks feel when you got into comedy? Well, they figured it'd be short-lived, and that I would eventually go become a lawyer, because I got a C- in organic chemistry, so the medical thing wasn't going to happen. And they figured I would go after the good life, which I would have probably. I mean, but it kept going, kept going. You know, I kept having little tiny successes that were enough, you know. And now you've done it. I know you think you haven't, but you've done it.

And we were, it was a pleasure working with you on Unstable. It was fun. We're psyched. And yeah, it was a pleasure having you on today. Thankable. It was fun. We're psyched. And yeah, it was a pleasure having you on today. Thank you. Thanks for coming on. Thank you. And check out Quasi on Hulu.

420. 420. And the KC Comedy Club. KC Comedy Club. I'm at Cobbs in San Francisco in mid-May. Where can people get your tickets? Do you have a website? jchandrasekar.com.

Cool. Good luck spelling it. Can I try? Sure. C-H-A-N-D-E-S-A-K-A-R. You missed about four or five letters. Not bad. You're close.

Hey, you missed all the swings you know, too. Well, thanks again for coming on. It was a pleasure. Thank you. Appreciate it. Yeah. If you need advice These guys are really nice

You want to know What to do Where to go When you need someone to guide you Such that half the world's beside you We'll see you next time. We're driving JT