Going Deep with Chad and JT - Ep. 29 - Hanna, Parental Misunderstandings, First Date Etiquette

Episode Date: August 1, 2018

Another member of our squad, Hanna joins us in studio!  We dive into various discussions on boning, parental misunderstandings, condom etiquette, pornstar attire, and Chad and JT hype up the new Mission Impossible.  Tom Cruise is a fuckin beast.  Check it out. For bonus content, check out our patreon: www.patreon.com/chadgoesdeep

what's up guys welcome to the going deep and chatting jt podcast this is episode 29 i think yeah and um listen to one yeah what thank you for letting us know up top yeah in our audience this is gonna be a brand new experience for you have you had one girl on yet no you're the first woman yeah we've only had two guests though so our ratio isn't awful yeah i'm stoked for the female energy to come in uh jt's here oh what up yeah yeah he's here what up i'm typically the the big pussy on the show yeah just like the fucking mountain from game of thrones that's like my role yeah or more like the the dude who uh hooks up with calise at the in the first season oh dude cal drago yeah yeah i super relate to that guy yeah that's getting my panties moist that guy was tremendous jason momoa panties

i don't actually wear panties but one time in high school as a joke that no one um compelled me to make i wore panties to school how did that go for you everyone was like dude he's wearing panties what an animal he's crazy i was like i'm wild yeah and everyone's like why'd you do it i was like it was a bet but it wasn't a bet I just decided to do it for attention I guess were they your moms? no I bought them at like a cheesy Forever 21 store at the mall so you were like I'm gonna wear panties to school went out and bought them it wasn't even like you had them

I think I was at the mall messing around in one of the stores and then I bought them or you're actually right and I did just plan the whole thing out from jump that's tight. Thank you. You guys are hearing a new voice. This is another member of our squad, Hannah.

What up, Hannah? What up? You want to say what up to the Stokers? What up, Stokers? Hannah was actually kind of like we were a tripod, but then she took off for New York. Yeah, I don't like New York. I do like New York, but I don't want to live there.

It's too cold. Yeah, it's too cold. It'd be better if I had way more money. I think it'd be way more fun. Yeah. I didn't have to take the subway. Sort of like Vegas. You got to go there with money.

Yeah, but at least in Vegas You can be poor and find fun things to do In New York you have to Eat dinner at CVS every night What's some fun stuff to do in Vegas On a budget I gamble On the dollar tables

The five dollar tables That's pretty manageable Ride the roller coaster at New York How much is that twelve dollars the lazy river at the mgm uh that's all i got what about socially i mean i guess bumble's free tinder's free how much is a pack of condoms 375 you buy the condoms yeah i get magnum condoms and i'm

like if it doesn't fit get the fuck out of here without pushing too deep into this too quick when you like meet a guy and you guys are gonna hook up and and he does have a condom are you like all right this guy's a gentleman like i appreciate that this guy came prepared um not really it's more like if a guy doesn't have a condom i'm like what the fuck are you doing right that's that's interesting because if it's like a first date or something i've like i've i've had instances where i like brought a condom you know and the girls are like you brought a condom what you're expecting to bone and i'm like i don't know what to do here right because but you were in the situation where you needed it?

Yeah. And then they were pissed that you had one? Yeah. It's like, yeah, I saw your profile, bitch. You are naked in front of me right now. It seems like my inclination was correct. I was thinking correctly, but it really threw me off because I started not. And then they'd be like, what the fuck, you idiot?

I'm just like, well, you guys are sending really mixed signals, you know, because like I bring one, she gets pissed. I don't bring yeah i should just wear one at all times but i just wear one no you have to just have it in your pocket though blood flow man oh good call no always bring it and then be like actually you know what i might i might have one this is so weird i have them in my car and it's so smart but usually by the time i'm like naked i'm like yeah it's in my car so i i got one on me just by the time I'm like naked, I'm like, yeah, it's in my car. I got one on me just in case I have to loan it to a friend when we're out. So yeah, I guess I'll use it for myself if that's the deal.

Yeah, I just happen to be. I feel like there are free condoms everywhere. Yeah, I think a guy who doesn't ever have condoms, it's like, what the f- Especially if you're at their place, if I'm at their place, I'm like, you don't have condoms in your room? Oh, yeah. What have you been doing? So do you typically perceive that as a guy who can't get laid? Or do you think that's a guy who just doesn't want to wear a condom?

It depends on what they look like. Exactly. Like if I was with Chad and I'm like, oh, this guy doesn't want to wear a condom. But if I was with JT, I'd be like, oh, fuck this guy. It never fucks. Wow, that's intensely disrespectful. But go on i'm down well we can talk about a uh a little mishap we had last night because i was hanging out with hannah and then uh i i saw her parents i met her parents and hannah and i were gonna go scoot we're gonna go hop on

some bird scooters and hit the town and uh i met her dad and he's like what up chad and i'm like what up dog and he's like yeah we're just gonna go scooter and her dad gives this look and he's just like he like raises his eyebrows he's like all right i'll see you guys later like all pissed and stuff oh wow because i think he thought scootering meant boning. Whoa, interesting. And then I called my mom this morning. I was like, did you think that we were going to have sex? And my mom was like, your dad did.

Well, again, that speaks to your sexual charisma that right away. I think you could have said any word. You could have been like, yeah, we're going to go eat Chinese food. He's like, they're fucking. No, but if my dad only knew my roster, he would be so lucky if Chad was on it. Oh, thank you. Chad's a good looking guy.

He's great looking. I just want to thank you guys. I just wanted to scoot her, you know? I was kind of offended. I get it. I get it. No, no. Oh, like Chad, like over.

No, I'm not boning her. I'm not. Come on. No, I just thought he thought I was a bad guy. I'm not come on no I just thought I just thought he thought I was a bad guy I'm like dude seriously we're gonna go scooter I was I was gonna tell you guys before I was just at Starbucks and um I get my thing and I get two of the Bantam bagels you know where the cream cheese is stuck in them like Gushers or whatever and then I look at the guy next to me and he's just sitting there on his phone right by the entrance big buff dude and he's sending a photo of himself on all fours butt naked to somebody wait in starbucks in star

like i just look i look down at his phone he's like holding it like this the entrance is right behind him i'm just like where the straws and napkins are i just look over i guess rudely but i wasn't expecting anything i look at his phone and he's just sending a big ass photo of himself like on all fours like oh he wasn't like the a big ass photo of himself like on all fours like oh he wasn't naked at the starbucks taking no he wasn't on all fours sending the photo he was i should clarify he looked like the gorilla from rampage in the photo like the same posture and he was sending a nude photo of himself to somebody dude i'm stoked on his openness yeah i hope we can all start sending nude photos i feel like i see it all the time like i'll see

people like on the subway just tindering or whatever i'm like have we no shame anymore i think they want people to see it i went up to him afterwards and i was like dog i want you to know like i'm not judging you i hope whoever gets that is really gonna pound that ass you said that to him yeah good and how did he respond he was like my dog that's that's what's up thank you for not judging me and i appreciate you bringing it up to me and i was was like, all right, later, dude. I love how you have to go up to a guy and tell him you're not judging him. You are judging him. I guess I was judging him a little bit.

But I bet he's stoked that you want his ass to get pounded. Yeah. No, I think that's true, too. Like, I was super open-minded about whatever the sitch was. I guess I was overcompensating because I just didn't want him to feel like I was judging him. Yeah. Maybe he was testing you in a way. He's like, let's see how tolerant this dude really is.

Yeah. Maybe he'd be like, oh, dog, is that your ass or something? And you'd be like, get that shit out of here, you know? But instead, you pass the test. You'd be like, dude, get that ass pounded. Like, that's what's up. I'm glad you're sending that photo. Exactly.

I think he passed the test. I think he also was like— on you jt i didn't even say not i didn't even say anything i just looked at him and i winked and then you walked off with your iced tea held by two hands yeah you're like dude that's not my cup of tea dude that's not my cup of tea but i'm glad you're gonna get railed yeah i'm just glad people are fucking yeah any which way they do it um all right should we get into some uh of these articles yeah dude jimmy garoppolo the quarterback for the san francisco 49ers formerly tom brady's backup super handsome guy like maybe even better looking than tom brady people say depending on your taste um he

got in trouble for going on a date or didn't get in trouble but a lot of people made hay about him going on a date with a porn star i saw that kiara mia kiara mia who's a um voluptuous woman why were they so pissed i don't know i don't know if they were pissed but like everybody was talking about it and i think it just like brought unwanted uh attention to the team and stuff like that dude you know i society needs to just like let him be man you know as long as he's scoring touchdowns let him you know date whoever he wants and i totally respect him going for a porn star you know that's a that's probably a new uh frontier that he hasn't explored so i'm sure he's explored that frontier i just feel bad it feels like this is going to dissuade him from like going on a follow-up date with her and if if he loves her you know that's beautiful well then if he really likes her and is super into

her then it won't matter and he won't care yeah that's true but if he's doing it because he thinks she's hot and he's not truly into her it's it's either superficial or it's not so he's not going to care what people think or he is and then he doesn't like her that much porn stars are cool people yeah you have to be very open-minded and and not very pretentious yeah yeah i've met alexis texas once nice yeah beautiful butt yeah amazing yeah my friend used to walk her dog so we like hung out with her one night she's like very cool excellent and i try not to sorry no just i mean i try not to jay off to porn anymore you know yeah i don't know if i could date a porn star i think i would be but my friend fucked a porn star and she said it was the best sex of her life.

And I was like, well, it better, because it's their job. Which one did she fuck? I forget his name. Lexington Steel? No. Damn it. I forget his name. James Dean?

Manuel Ferraro? I heard Lexington delivers the rail. J-Mac? I don't know male porn stars. Xander Corvus? I don't know, JJ. Jesse Jones't know jj jesse jones dude definitely jesse jones the fact that you know so many is just i know all of them though i know the guys and the gals i can't even watch porn because of the tattoos it takes me out of it

yeah with the bandanas throw me off what bandanas, I saw a guy just wearing a bandana. I was like, dude, like, are you in a biker gang or something? That would actually be cool. Oh, Johnny Sins. Yeah. Is it Johnny Sins? Yeah. Yeah, I'm just like, you're not a priest if you have tattoos all over your neck. Or, like, a teacher or a school.

You know what I mean? It really takes me out of the storyline. I just think if they're, like, super old. It's disgusting. Yeah, I'm just like, dude, aren't you like tired, you know? Did you guys, do you guys know who, I'm going to sound like 95 years old. Do you guys know who Takeshi? That rapper?

Yeah. Yeah, why is this, if you don't mind me, why are we talking about this? This is so sad. What do you mean it's sad? He got like beat the shit out of him for a bunch of jewelry. If you don't mind me, why are we talking about this? This is so sad. What do you mean it's sad? He got like beat the shit out of him for a bunch of jewelry. I thought it was interesting how positive he was about the whole situation. Because he almost, well, he could have died.

But in this circumstance, he got, he said, some people are still like not certain if it's the truth, but like three guys kidnapped and beat the shit out of him, took like a bunch of his jewelry, like a ton, like 250,000 worth or something. And then afterwards he was like yeah i'm just happy like i get to see my daughter again and stuff like he had the most like optimistic worldview on it i was like that's kind of beautiful yeah i mean because he didn't i think it's because he didn't die like it could have been way worse but he didn't even seem traumatized he was just just like, yeah, I'm back. I was like, fuck yeah. I mean, that guy looks like he's seen a lot of shit. Yeah, I do like how pumped he was that he made it out, and he's just like, nice, I made it through. Also, who was 200?

I guess a lot of people. I'm like, who has $250,000 worth of jewelry? I do think it's much cooler that he's saying, yeah, I made it out. It's awesome, instead of just being like, man, that sucked. You know? Yeah. Yeah. I respect anyone who's been through something like of like extraordinary suffering and they

come out the other side with like, just like a, well, I took away positive things from it still. That's true. I know. If the waitress gives me a real Coke instead of a diet Coke, I'm fucking pissed. Yeah. Like, do you know? Do you know what I just consumed?

Dude, I'm even more pissed. I got a Poke Bowl last night. On a date? On my date. And I asked for a greens base because I'm trying to go full keto. They gave me rice. I was livid.

All right, Chad, I've seen you eat some sandwiches, so. Yeah, but I'm full keto. Years ago. Yeah, we discussed this a few pods ago I've made some mistakes

in my time I was open about it I admitted it did you eat the rice? no he walked out of the pokey place he flipped the chairs and left I was like pokey shack I love you but we're going to sweet fin

so we went to sweet fin and she's like why don't you just get like a different base? I'm like, they betrayed me. Like they, you know, I come here like every day

and they know. Dude. Mission Impossible comes out tonight. You guys want to see it? I'm pumped. I can't tonight. I can't either.

You guys fucking. What kind of Tom Cruise I think you should go solo on a lime. You mean midnight? You should ride a lime too. Ride a lime? Yeah. Dude. Like Tom tom would i saw some background on like the motorcycle stuff they did and they were like yeah the camera rig wouldn't work the safety rig wouldn't work so we just did it without

it yeah awesome he's like he's like yeah just shoot it i'll just go around that corner as fast as i can i'm like god he's such a beast yeah he's got the energy of a fucking supernova yeah i don't i haven't seen any of those movies, and I don't really plan on it, to be honest. The tone, Hannah. The tone. So dismissive over what's probably behind Fast and Furious or in a close tie with it,

the best film franchise going. Oh, Tom Cruise? Yeah. You don't like Tom Cruise? No. What? I don't believe in Scientology. So I don't believe in science. You don't like Tom Cruise? No. What? I don't believe in Scientology. So I don't believe in like...

It's science. You don't like science? Not really. I don't believe in paganism. I still think Alexander the Great did a good fucking job. Yeah. Okay, you got me there. I don't believe in...

Also, I don't believe such a small guy could go through... I mean, I guess he could jump through. He does all his own stunts. Did you know I'm 5'8 he does all this yeah he he looks he look he still looks young and virile he probably you know gets boners like it's no problem oh yeah dude yeah if a guy does his own stunts he thinks boner looks down yeah and he's hard. Yeah, he's always hard. You know, I bet that guy at Starbucks was sending Tom Cruise a photo of him crouched down. I hope so.

I hope Tom is getting guys on all fours being submissive to his ultra-persuasive, awesome, charismatic, fully-developed masculinity. Yeah. I've sent some photos to Tom. I sent a shirtless one like nice work on those stunts dude so one thing i've been focusing on lately is body language oh it's huge working on my body language yeah i think that's good no mine is terrible sometimes dude i realize i'm like you can crush somebody just with like your language. How do you crush someone with your body language? Be open and dominate your space.

Like how JT considers himself a good dancer, but he's all neck. I'm a good dancer. He's a good dancer. Have you seen his hip movement in the Let Me Love You? I did. Melania video? Yeah. I thought, yeah.

Hannah Banana, in your heart of hearts, you don't think I'm a good dancer? I may not be as good as I think I am, but you think like I'm on the lower half of the spectrum I was the captain of my high school dance team, it's not a competition always a competition, it's life baby and I would argue that you would have not made the team

over a dick a lot of our listeners are young men who are trying to make their way. How young are we talking? I think like high school to college. And they're trying to make their way in the world of romance. What would be your tips to them on how to be more effective in that field?

I feel like I'm the wrong person. No, I think it's – I feel like high school ruined me to set me up you know because i was so in love with someone and they just broke my heart and then i went to college at usc and you went on a tear right not really but i didn't i didn't have sex until sophomore year well actually no i did once freshman year but it was so bad and it was like not real set i don't think i don't count it why was it not real sex because he like't think, I don't count it. Why was it not real sex? Because he like couldn't really get hard, so it wasn't really working. Yeah.

And, um. Was that nervousness on his part? No, it's not a lot. No, he was just hammered. Right. Um. What's it like to hook up with like a really drunk guy? It's disgusting.

It's so bad. Because they like breathe a lot and stuff. Yeah. But I usually don't hook up with a guy who's like so hammered. Yeah. Because I don't take advantage of people guy who's like so hammered yeah because i don't take advantage of people i know i just think uh guys shouldn't worry about it as much well i don't know if guys do no they worry about it a lot i think if you like someone then you should

ask them out and you know court them because girls still want that regardless of – it's nice to be wanted and appreciated. Yeah. But if a girl says no, you got to stop. Yeah. It's weird. I feel like the guys who ask me out are the ones who I don't want to ask me out. And then they keep asking when I say no. And then guys that want to ask me out don't.

Or I've asked out a guy and he said no. Did you keep asking? No. I never keep asking? No. I never spoke to him again. Do you think with guys it has as much to do with the girl or do you think it's more about like beating the game or whatever? Like they're like, oh, this girl said no to me. They're like, I can't handle rejection.

I have to like rectify this loss as they perceive it. You're asking if guys... Like when guys keep asking the same girl out and she keeps saying no do you think it's really about the girl or do you think it's more about yeah i think it's more about the chase right because it's like oh she said no yeah but i also think i don't know if you like a girl then you should just ask her out don't be afraid to ask her out and it's just a and it's hard because i get it you don't want to be shot down, but it's like, I think just asking someone else that you,

that then you get your answer. I mean, it's easier said than done. And I know, but it's not that big of a deal if they say no. And guys who have asked me out who I didn't want it, who I said no to, and they were just like,

okay. And whatever. I liked him more after that. Yeah. Or yeah, exactly. I'm like, wow,

he's really cool. Yeah. He has boundaries. He respects me. Yeah. And then I said no. And he was like, okay. And then just like went, moved on with his life. I'm like, wow, he's really cool. Yeah, he has boundaries. He respects me. Yeah. And then I said no, and he was like, okay. And then just like went and moved on with his life. I was like, wait, what about me?

Wait, you're over it? Like you don't care? Yeah, wait. You're in control of your feelings and you can take direct responsibility. Wow, you're mature enough to take it and move on with your life? That's so hot. Right. And then I did go back once and asked out a guy

who had asked you out to you yeah because it was like he took it so well and was so cool about it i was like oh wow you could like i could you're actually a great person right so so so what you find attractive would you say are like dudes who are like living their lives like really involved in their thing and then so they they um they don't see they don't like act like they like need you is that what yeah but i also yeah i or you're just saying like they they listen yeah but i also think that's attractive too if a guy like has something he really likes or if he's really into a certain they have passion yeah they have passion for something they want to do something and they're very involved in that like try that for that and that to me is attractive yeah even if because i i hate people

like oh girls only want to date rich dudes that's not true just it's like unsuccessful losers who don't want to do anything that's unattractive but someone who's like unmotivated yeah motivated and trying to do something it doesn't matter how much money they have it's really connor mcgregor had that his wife for so long because he was so motivated to do what he wanted to do he was so passionate about it i'm sure that's what turned her on to him it didn't matter that he was poor and like a loser did you watch that documentary no but i have seen his dick through his pants and it's huge. Oh, you thought it looked huge? Yeah.

I thought it looked, like, normal. When he wore those at his son's birthday party? Those red boxer, those red briefs or whatever? You're talking about the Instagram photo that came out. He has a photo out now where he's, like, got a heart on. Oh, no. Becky Instagrammed it. It was, like, or a story to it.

And he was at his son's birthday party wearing just, like, regular shorts. And you could see an outline of his dick. And It was like, or a story to it. And he was at his son's birthday party wearing just like regular shorts. And you could see an outline of his dick. And I was like, damn. Let's get into our of the weekers. Okay. We'll start with you, Hannah. Who is your babe of the week? My babe of the week is Margot Robbie.

I saw her last night. You swear? Saw her at Mazza Pizza. She's so hot. She's in real... Because she looks like a little... I think on screen sometimes she comes across as a little like... Her feet...

She's strikingly beautiful, but it could be... Like just a camera? I don't know. She could be one of those in real life she looks a little weird you know like some of those models features or whatever yeah but i saw her last night and i was like wow this girl is hot striking yeah or i'm just dropping names right now doff ziggler met him fucking who he's a wwe wrestler doff zler. Tell him what happened when you talked to him. What?

Oh, so I was interviewing him for something, and I was so nervous that I had to do my intro like three times because I was like, hi, it's Em. And it was like so obvious how nervous I was my director was like can you go have a drink please like you are so nervous and it was just like his i just didn't expect him to be so hot so when i was interviewing him i was having a very tough time talking to him but we were kind of flirty and then i found out he dated amy schumer so i was like right, I have a chance. Is that the inspiration for her movie? Yeah, I think so.

Oh, with the John Cena character? Yeah. Oh, that makes perfect sense. Yeah. Yeah. So I guess, yeah. What was Margot Robbie eating? I just saw her outside of it.

Oh, okay. And I was like, that's Margot Robbie. Yeah, you got to freak out. But I would just, yeah. It's weird when I still see, because I feel like living in LA, I've become, I mean, that sounds like douchey, but it's like, you're like, oh, whatever.

It's like another person. Yeah. But then someone like Margot Robbie, it's like, holy shit. And her husband, who I don't know who he is, but he is so hot too. Oh, really? And her mom's hot.

She was her husband and her mom. I was like. Just a hot crew. Just a hot, I want to be, I want to look like her mom. Like, I would settle for looking And her mom's hot. She was her husband and her mom. I was like... Just a hot crew. Just a hot... I want to be... I want to look like her mom. I would settle for looking like her mom. Yeah.

I want to look like her mom. Do you know what she looks like? No. She sounds hot. She's hot. She looks like Margot. Margot's beautiful

and she's a good actress. Yeah, great actress. And she's very small. Although I thought I, Tonya was garbage. I thought it was garbage too. And she totally knew that they were going to pull her out as Nancy Kisly. That is thought I, Tanya was garbage. I thought it was garbage too. And she totally knew that they were going to pull her eyes.

Thank you. That is what I said. I was like, this movie pisses me off because it's like, she knew the whole thing. Yeah. And they're like, oh, she was like, abuse. Like that is, I'm like, oh, she was abused. Like, you know, it is sad she was abused. Right. But it's also like.

But that doesn't excuse you from being a bad person. Yeah, exactly. She didn't abuse the person who abused her. She abused some bad person. Yeah, exactly. She didn't abuse the person who abused her. She abused some innocent person. Yeah. And then also, like, I just imagine Nancy Kerrigan watching the Golden Globes at home, you know, and just seeing Tonya Harding at a table with Margot Robbie and all these famous people and just, like, being like. But I think Nancy Kerrigan, like.

Is above it. Is above it. She has a family now. She looks happy. Because they interviewed her, too, and she seems like she's in a good place. So I think when you're, I don't know. That's true zen. Yeah.

If you're just at peace. Have you read the book, The Art of Not Giving a Fuck? Yeah, we both did. The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck. Yeah. Yeah. I liked it. Yeah, and that book, it explains that exactly.

After I was done with that book, I threw it aside and said, he gives a fuck. Yeah, but I feel like you give a lot of fucks, JT. I give the most fucks, actually. Chad gives no fucks. He's not even listening. Chad, are you still looking at the girl from last night? No, I was just thinking about Margot Robbie. Oh, I couldn't see her hand, so.

Who's your babe of the week? Chad, who's your babe of the week? My babe of the week is... What was your date's name megan yeah uh can i not say that my baby of the week is uh britney spears nice what first of all there's circa like early 2000s yeah when she was still present yeah marilyn monroe let's do babes of the week that don't exist anymore. The ghost of Christmas back. Chad's only giving her a temporary babe status,

and Hannah's like, she's been kicked out of the babe club completely. What do you have against Brittany, bitch? I don't have anything against her, but I wouldn't call her a babe anymore. She's entered a new phase. I don't even think her babeness now is reduced because of her looks it's just she's not she's she's so medicated yeah but where are you gonna yeah i don't want to do my baby yeah just tore her down your baby of the week is who ew god i can't wait to see that grizzly from last night dolph ziggler um how about you get the fuck out of this podcast

uh yeah well i'm gonna stick up for britney because uh what up britney um yeah britney she just like honestly was like the first um probably one of the first like celebrities female celebrities i was like whoa she's the first female celebrity you jacked off to um probably um you know she just well actually i listened to some of her songs recently and I was like, whoa. She's the first female celebrity you jacked off to? Probably. Actually, I listened to some of her songs recently, and she really cranked out some hits. Yeah, but you know she didn't write any of those. Well, she performed.

It's supposed to have a positive vibe. We get it. Britney Spears isn't the greatest artist in history. We had a week to prepare these babes, and that's who Chad picks? We're trying to exemplify her better qualities in this period. You just talked about Margot Robbie getting a fucking pizza. Which I thought was great too.

Wait, can I change my babe of the week? No. After we've all done our babes. Trash my babe. I want to change it to John Mayer because I know he follows you on Instagram. So I'm trying to fuck John Mayer. He's my dog. Okay.

Every dude thinks they're friends with John Mayer. So I changed it to John Mayer. John, if you're out there, I live in New York, but I know he's probably bi-coastal. Hannah with three babes this week. Yeah, and just trash in mine. Wait, can I add another one? Yeah. I'm just kidding.

So, Brittany, let me just gather my thoughts. What's your favorite Brittany song? It's got to be Baby One More Time. When I first saw Baby One More Time, I was like, whoa, who is that? You know what I mean? Yeah, that was the general consensus, I think.

Yeah. She got so big yeah and uh and then like you know i listened to some of her songs and they were they were bangers you know i just i did some sprints to them i was really pumped stronger yeah strong stronger overprotected baby one more time and uh i just remember those pepsi commercials so um what about the vmas when she had the snake on her yeah just so many just amazing performances where you're just like that is so memorable and then like the kiss with madonna so i just want to give her props for being just like um you know sort of a central

figure in entertainment for for that amount of time and dominating that space until she had a breakdown but and i think the breakdown and like we're all complicit in it like i remember watching i'm like she's such a psycho i was like no dude she's like overwhelmed yeah i told her i totally get it it's it's once you become adult you you realize the breakdown was not even that big of a deal you're like oh that's completely normal yeah well yeah how many times a day I think about shaving my head? When she did the kiss with Madonna, you know, they cut away from Christina Aguilera. They just cut to everybody's reactions. And it pissed Christina Aguilera off so much.

And I remember she did an interview later and she's like, Britney Spears only did that for attention. Yeah. And then they asked Britney about it and she was like, she kissed her too. And I was like, nice. Yeah. Yeah. Effectively pairing. Oh, like, she kissed her too. And I was like, nice. Yeah. Yeah. Effectively pairing.

Oh yeah. They kissed each other. Or she, Madonna kissed Christina too? Yeah. Madonna kissed Christina too, but they almost didn't capture it on camera. Whoever was running like the production room, like was like cut to the crowd. And they basically, you only caught the tail end of the Christina kiss. Yeah.

So she, I think she felt a little short shrifted. Yeah. But I think i would rather kiss britney than christina yeah oh yeah um yeah i just you know she just uh whenever i think about her she brings me back to that nostalgic kind of like young horniness and i like that yeah and she's a trooper survivor like at like the like the state fair um like the oc fair but as a kid like i was so i was so trying to win those like those midway games or whatever the fuck you know where you're like throwing like a baseball at like pins or something yeah are you like throwing uh darts at balloons because i wanted

to win a britney photo nice i won the britney photo that's all i put by my bed and you can imagine what happened after that job well done do you still have it no got too sticky yeah you don't come on the thing you don't just come on your chest make it as real as possible i guess you can yeah just go thank you britney uh my baby of the week is a chat nice yeah we were getting changed in the same room the other day And his abs were popping Can I see it? And his lats were springing

And I was like, damn Because I know he's been working on the diet And I know he's been doing some more weightlifting and stuff And incorporating some more upper body Hannah It's a human being And then I'm so sorry, I forgot Hannah, can we – he's a human being. I'm so sorry.

I forgot. Yeah. And he just looks phenomenal. Thank you. Yeah, I'm just pumped on it. And I just – yeah, congrats, dude. It's paying dividends. I like what I'm seeing. You look good too, man.

Thank you, man. Yeah, I've been keeping it tight this week because I'm doing a weekend at a pool. So it's high time to get sharp what yeah we gotta do it i'm just kidding am i being too mean no that's who you are okay oh remember when you called me doughy jt i do remember that i'm sorry yeah well but you would not stop saying it was the wrong thing to say. But you kind of baited me over like four hours into saying it. I mean, you talked about how you were worried about your physical appearance for like four hours.

So then you went in to say you're doughy. I finally said you're like, I'm fat. I'm fat. I'm like, you're beautiful. You're beautiful. A little doughy. And then I said this. And then you said, I'm really, really fat.

And after four hours of me just saying you were nonstop, anything but. I just gone to a bank and the teller told me I was fat which was horrible and he was wrong here can I take a loan out sure fat ass is your fatty I was called a bubble-headed fat blonde the other day do you remember what else you told me though that day when I was trying to cheer you up? I said, I said, all my friends think you're gorgeous. And you said, yeah, for you. You kicked me out of your car that day. Cause you, you complained so much about your looks for so many hours. I finally said, you know what you need to do? Go feed the poor. Thank you. You're telling my dad. Thank God this is a podcast so people can just imagine what I look like.

You're hot. Okay. Chad, who is your legend of the week? My legend of the week is my dad. Nice. What up, dad? Yeah, I mean, he's legend of the week every week, of course, but I just have to cite this moment in time because my stepmom just recently sent a photo of him on a wakeboard boat doing pull-ups off the bar.

Whoa. And I was like, he is always on it, always doing pull-ups. And I was like, that is the dude who is never going to stop his mission to crank out as many pull-ups as possible. How old is your dad? He's like 72. And how many pull-ups does he do a day? Like 300. Your dad's hot.

He does 300 pull-ups a day at 72? I think he's decreased a little bit, but that's what he was doing. But he's still triple didge, right? I think so. Fuck, dude. No, he's been more into push-up rows as of late. But he's just, he's always cranking it out. Like with dumbbells? Yeah.

That's all. But he's just a beast. Total role model, hardworking dude. He always taught me about working hard, staying fit, eating right, being a stand-up dude. And he sort of always exemplified that for me. So I just want to give him a shout-out for being a beast. And just, you know, even when you're on a wakeboard, even if you're wakeboarding stokers you still can do pull-ups and my dad like they'll go camping and stuff and my dad brings a portable pull-up bar that's how

that's how committed he is to his lats and uh so he's just a beast and um yeah so i just want to say what up to my dad. You're my legend. Thank you for being the best. And thank you for working hard, being a hardcore surgeon. He's still working. He loves to work. He's very passionate about his work, which I think is really cool. Because, you know, he's just, he's like, yeah, I love doing surgery. I'm like, total respect.

And so, yeah, I just really look up to him and uh just want to give him props nice yeah dr kroger you're a beast thanks dr kroge who's your legend of the week my legend of the week is uh the creative director of ihop now ihop because you know how they switched and they said now they're like, oh, it's a joke. It's not. I saw on Hollywood Boulevard that they changed the sign.

So it wasn't a joke, but it went over so poorly, they're trying to go back and say it was a joke. Oh, really? Yeah. Wow. So that's a pretty big move

for that person in charge there. That's a couple of big moves. What was the name change again? It went from IHOP to IHOB. International House of Bacon? Burgers. Oh, burgers. Which I had once gone to IHOP with this girl Blacked Out,

and she convinced me to get the burger because she said they were their secret amazing thing on the menu, and it was pretty good. But they went back to I to ihop and they were like we were just kidding but they weren't i just think it went over so poorly and they got so much shit for it they were like we're kidding but they had already changed shops to ihop whoa so that person's a pretty big legend because they fucked up royally yeah so do you respect the fact that they're that they're trying to cover it up as a joke no i think they need to own it just stick to your guns and stay as burger yeah just

stay as burger i think you look stupid now yeah i i didn't think they should have switched to burger from pancakes but i do respect that they took a chance and they were like to save this business we'll go all the way from burgers to from pancakes to burgers yeah i just think that it's like it was i thought it was kind of smart because it got a lot of attention yeah and i don't think to i mean i still won't eat it i hop i hop i hop i don't give a shit um you'll eat there if you're hammered okay okay i'll eat anywhere if i'm hammered and i'll eat anything um anyone anyway um but so that person's a pretty big legend nice breakfast food is my favorite meal of the day so it really i really follow the story what's your favorite breakfast item i like eggs and bacon and uh i really like pancakes

too but i'm also trying to lay off the carbs not to get jacked but just so that like that girl at the pool i want to look like that girl at the pool yesterday which girl is this girl at the pool and she had the the flattest stomach why the fuck are you on instagram i'm telling you a story right now keep going um so is that too aggressive no okay she did have a i think i know who you're talking about you do know who i'm talking about there was a girl at the boy i say had the flattest stomach i've ever seen in my life her body was so small but she had the fattest ass i've ever seen like her body was perfect and me and nicole amy were like holy shit that girl's body and jt's like where i don't see her i don't know who you're talking about we're like oh you don't see her he was trying to play

dumb like i have no idea what you guys mean. All girls are beautiful. I was being a little coy. Oh, so you knew? Oh, yeah. 100%. I spotted her like hours before they did. Why would you admit it? That seems so unlike you.

Well, just to make them laugh. Oh, okay. Yeah, but this girl spotted me. And to make them feel like they were the most beautiful girls in the world. Oh, okay. That makes sense. Yeah, I had a towel over my head. Yeah, you were the most clothed at the pool. Yeah, okay. That makes sense. Yeah, I had a towel over my head. Yeah, you were the most clothed at the pool.

Yeah, I was wearing a sweatshirt and long pants. If you're like, JT, you see that girl, right? Oh, that perfect freaking girl with the huge ass? Yeah, I see her. Yeah, that's probably closer to what my head was saying at the time. But he was like, who? Where? What?

There's a girl here? I also don't want to give her the satisfaction. You know what I mean? Why? She worked hard for that body no no of course i i admire i admire the the final product but i don't want her to think that just because she's hot that that that's all there is i mean sometimes there is i was talking to chelsea skidmore and she was telling me how she was like it's so weird i got a free personal

trainer at equinox for like six months i can give you his number i was like chelsea i don't look like you he's not gonna give me free workouts she's like it's so weird i got a free purse it's so weird i'm like it's not weird you're a very hot girl but that guy's sacrificing so much time and work not really he works at equinox like personal trainers they don't have hours and now he just told her when he was free and he worked out with her for free because he wanted to see her work out what's Chelsea's

fiancee think about that this was a while ago this was like years ago but she because it was in New York so she's like oh I'll give you his number maybe he'll train with you

for free and I was like yeah I'm not not not gonna go for that don't sell yourself short you could get a month or two you could maybe one day a week you could. You could get a month or two.

You could maybe one day a week. You could get a free trial. They have a mandatory free session. My legend of the week is Cedric. He's a waiter at the Mission Viejo Nordstrom's Cafe. I've been going there for like a decade. Thank you. He is the nicest human being I've ever met.

Every time I see him, I just try to check in with him because he brightens my day. I'll be like, what's up, man? How you doing? He goes, oh, me? I'm very good. Having a good day. Happy to be here.

Do you need anything? And I'm like, it almost seems like he's doing a bit and I'll be like, are you effing with me? But he's not. He's just a genuine, sweet guy who loves doing his job.

And it's like, I don't know. It's just uh i think about him a lot because uh i went back there recently and i saw him and i was like dude how are you so nice and he was like i just think it's important to be nice and be a good christian and i was like oh that's really sweet i was like is your family nice he's like yeah my sister's nice she has her moments and uh yeah he just has asperger's he might he might He might have something, but whatever it is, he's making the best of it. And Cedric, I just want you to know

I really appreciate you, man. I know everybody who goes to that Nordstrom's Cafe appreciates you and thank you for being such a good model of kindness. You're a beast, man. And he does it... I've been there a million times

and he has never once deviated from being just ultra, ultra kind. And anyone else who goes there, reach out to me because I'd love to talk about them. Yeah, so Cedric, thanks. You're a legend, dog. What up, Cedric?

Nice. Way to go, Cedric. Who's your beef of the week, Hannah? I mean, we've had some pretty big beefs this week, JT. Who, us? Yeah. I'm your beef of the week? I guess. Or, you know i i did what about

floyd mayweather 50 cent that's a pretty that's a good beef it's good beef for the week um i love 50 cent 50 cent i don't know how to say it you know curtis love curtis and i think floyd mayweather is you know he abuses women so i'm not a big fan of him. But I thought their beef was pretty funny. And I found out that Floyd Mayweather can't read. I did not know that. I mean, I'm not surprised by it. But he had a hilarious response. That last time 50 Cent was like, Floyd Mayweather can't read, and Floyd Mayweather went on TV,

and he's like, yeah, but I can count money. And he just fanned out like a million dollars on camera. It's so funny because he was like, my watch is worth more than 50 cent like his whole net worth but he was saying he's a loser because i'm just gonna call him curtis because i sound so white so curtis is only worth 20 million dollars and i was like i wish i was a loser really only worth 20 million dollars yeah he was worth like a couple hundred million because of vitamin water or something so he was and then on the internet said it dropped to $20 million. I guess he lost a lot of money.

It doesn't say how, but... Like Will Chamberlain said, athletes get paid a lot, but we spend a lot. Yeah, I kind of spend like an athlete too. My first, since I started working and getting a regular paycheck and getting bumps for things, I bought a Gucci fanny pack.

I can't afford it. I got a personal trainer. I'm still fat. Do you get a lot of miles out of the Gucci fanny pack i can't afford it i got a personal trainer do you get a lot of still fat do you get a lot of miles out of the gucci fanny pack i do and i do get comments on it and they're not always positive but i've seen a couple victoria's secret models wear it so nice fanny packs are in dude they're coming back i got two yeah i love fanny packs and i get drunk a lot so i leave a lot of shit so it's so easy when it's attached to me dude yeah oh that's good call yeah where's your stuff look at the fanny

pack dude i i wear a backpack and a fanny pack sometimes at the same time yeah it feels like overkill but yeah do you also just sleep on venice boardwalk yeah i'm always wondering what is in your backpack i always have a notebook i always your backpack? I always have a notebook. I always have a book. I always have all my medications. I have notes I write to myself that I like to keep on me at all times to check in on because they're just positive

messages. And then I got a couple dildos, handgun, and a little crown made of leaves that Caesar would wear. Nice. I feel like an adult with a backpack there's got to be drugs in it at least.

Every adult with a backpack. There's some form of drugs. Whether it be medication or hardcore narcotics. There's something in there to alter your reality. It's certainly true of my backpack. Yeah, because I got some weed in there too. As well as my own.

What about you? What's your beef of the week? My beef of the week is with, so I was going to go. It's in control of this podcast. I liked it. It was good timing. So I was, when I was going to go meet you last night, I was trying to scoot her to you. So I was scouring the town for a scoot,

and I was just really itching for a good scoot, you know, because I love to just get on my scoot and just let the wind flow, you know. So I was walking to this one. Bird doesn't work at night. I'm sorry, Bird. I want to love you, but you guys have some problems you need to fix. One being start running your scooters at night. Put some frigging headlights on that dog.

So I'm walking. I walked about three-quarters of a mile to get this Lime scooter. I get there. I put, like, the – because I couldn't find it. I put, like, the alarm on it, so it was, like, ringing. So eventually I find it. And this couple walks up. They're already at the scooter like i'm

like 50 feet away they just get to the scooter and they're just like inspecting it like they're just like complete rooks you know like they've never scooted in their lives and i was just like the fuck i was like do you guys have that scooter and it's like the girl goes she just looks at me like all dismissive yeah and i just i couldn't help it i was like fuck i just walked away and i was i was like watching them as i was walking away to see what they were doing they're just looking at it and going in like circles i'm like that's my mode of trans that's my mode of transpo you know like fuck you doing i like that fuck that you let out though it was a big fuck well because you're just letting out like you're like you're not hiding the fact that it hurt that you

didn't get that it really hurt it really hurt me you know because like i was planning on writing it and i was going to write it hard and then these just rookies come in just inspect it probably gonna go get a freaking ice cream on it. Something adorable but fattening. Yeah, I love ice cream. I don't know why I said that. Ice cream is one of the happy things on that list. It's fucking good. They should have put sprints on that list.

I digress. Were you able to find a scooter? Yeah, I had to walk another mile. It's one of the most disappointing things about the scootering. Especially when people get who you just like, you can tell they just don't appreciate it. You know, it's like,

where's your gratitude? You have no gratitude for your scoot. You know, if like, if you're going to be a scooter rider, you need to like, like frigging scoot, you know,

don't just like look at it and then be dismissive towards other scoot riders and just like take it around for circles and be like oh isn't this new isn't this cute no it's a mode of transportation and it's really fun and it should be taken seriously and if you're gonna take it in front of someone maybe you should be like hey yeah i'm sorry i did come to this scooter but i i promise you i will ride it well i will ride it hard and it will get to me where i need to go and i won't be a dick about it yeah the machine wants to move yeah the way you just described scooting it did sound like you were fucking well that's cool you have to ride it

hard same thing you have to get where you want to go well he brings that same energy to everything no and i respect that and that's what i love about chad thank you well i'm sorry that happened to you thanks uh my uh beef of the week is with um the marketing campaign behind the second season of the netflix show glow um i love the show glow super fun um great characters uh good comedy fun fun soundtrack, good whatever. But I just don't like – I'm driving. I see the billboard for it, and it says it's all the girls on like a limousine, and they're all in their poses. That's all well and good. But then it has the tagline, the girls are back in town.

So it's obviously a play on the Thin Lizzy song, the boys are back in town. So it's obviously a play on the Thin Lizzy song, the boys are back in town. And I just like, I get that we live in a culture where the expectation is that most stories are about guys and this is different because it's about women, but you're making it about guys by referencing a song that's about guys and then changing it to girls. You're basically admitting that the standard is dudes. Like why not just pick a song that's all about women or or pick a tagline that doesn't allude to men at all so we can just celebrate these women rather than think about the fact that it would normally be men it's like just i don't i disagree with you bring it no i think it's just it's just playing off that song but it's changing it to women to make it fun and like it's not like oh this means that this is because it's wrestling for girls no i think it's just a fun tagline no i but but if it was just a fun

tagline wouldn't they have picked a song but then that would be the song a song about girls wouldn't be a play on the song because it would be that you can't use that but switching it from boys to girls is a very specific kind of meaning i think you're thinking it well have you seen the show though a lot of it is about like gender roles and stuff yeah it is but yeah so it's whatever i don't think it's it's bringing it back to men at all i don't know i think a lot of the of the um i mean i don't appreciate you disagreeing with me but i think that a lot of the, of the, um, I mean, I don't appreciate you disagreeing with me, but I think that a lot of the marketing that we see for like a lot of female driven entertainment does make reference to the fact that like, this is a new time and that now it's a time for like a female story. But I think like, show me, don't tell me like, just put it into the, and I'm not blaming

the artists cause they're not in charge of the marketing campaign, but put it into the content of the story, like Mad Max or or moana like these great female driven stories that do kind of reference like you know whatever the male situation has been for our existence but they don't like bash you over the head with it and i just i'm not that glow did that with their marketing but i just i just even think those kind of subtle playful like references to it kind of take away from how great the actual product is yeah i think you're overthinking it maybe but i mean i think my analysis is i want to switch my beef of the week because now i want to be my beef you know i don't want to be fitty's beef we do both but go ahead what's what's your new beef oh my beef is with my

soul cycle instructor meg she's a huge bitch and she's just one of those people that her music's not that good but she's such a mean teacher i'm like all right if you're gonna be mean you better have fucking bomb ass hits like you better she mean like there was a new guy and she's like hey new guy you like listen to me when the person was trying to help him set up on his bike and then i was drinking water when we were going to the next song and she's like don't sit down don't sit down and i was like i need water like sorry my fat ass is out of shape and this song sucks what song was it i don't even know i hate oh and the other i just think if you're gonna be motivating someone you should be motivating you shouldn't be the other i just think if you're gonna be motivating someone you

should be motivating you shouldn't be a bitch about it but if you are gonna be a bitch you better have a fucking motivated song behind you to push me to keep going like i don't want to hear fucking mumford and sons while i'm trying to climb up a hill all right guys let's get into the questions this is the the meat of the pod hey guys my is Colby. So I find myself in a ditch that is me less than stoked. My dad walked in on me boning. Normally this would make me pumped so you would know that I deliver the dong. But what really bummed me out was you said I was, I suck at boning. I mean, you always hope you bone well, but to hear your old man tell you that you deliver

lackluster pipe work is a severe blow to my manhood. Any advice to work through this? I mean, if your dad's telling you you don't know how to lay pipe you're clearly terrible i think dads can just be hard on their kids sometimes yeah maybe his dad sets high standards maybe he's like joe jackson he's like look i have a dream for you i want to i want you to see it through i want you to be the i want you to see it through. I want you to get signed by the Barry Gordy of laying pipe. Put some effort in, dog. How old is Kobe?

He didn't say. I'm going to assume he's in his teens. He's like, you know what? Study up on it. Maybe read the Tantra. Maybe start with a flashlight. Yeah. Work the hips.

Kobe, I'd be curious. If your partner's having a good time, I would worry about them primarily and your dad secondarily. But I know it can be hard. Yeah, but if it's a 15-year-old girl, she doesn't know if partner's having a good time I would worry about them primarily and your dad secondarily but I know it can be hard yeah but if it's a 15 year old girl she doesn't know if she's having a good time she's probably not well then they'll learn together

okay then yeah that's so you can't learn from his partner she's like I don't know if this feels good I don't know if I had sex until like the 20th time you can't learn from your partner I don't think so how do you learn how to bone then i don't know figure it out i think i think colby my man i would say dude don't take it

too personally your dad may just be messing with you or something you know it's a bummer that he's clowning on the way you pipe but you know what like this um i would just uh you know i would just like hey dude you know maybe say something i'd be like you know that's not very nice maybe if you're gonna clown on me for the way i um bone down maybe you know maybe you could give me some pointers dad if you're gonna be. Yeah, I would say you should ask your dad, nicely, of course, if you could watch your dad bone your mom. Then you can know exactly, you know, learn his moves. That might be a little bit intense,

but I mean, you would learn a lot. Yeah, but he would learn a lot and then he would have something to look at and then his father, he could give direct, you know, like give direct directions instead of just criticizing him totally. He could give him pointers while he's doing it. You learn by doing.

I knew a lot of coaches' kids who were great at their sport, but their dad was so demanding of their excellence that they felt like they were not as good as they were. I mean, if you're already pumping at a young age, man, I think you're ahead of the curve. I think you're on a good trajectory to be a top-notch fucker. Yeah, you don't really need to be good at fucking, I feel like, until after college, really. Yeah, so people are getting married later. And how long did your dad watch the whole thing? Did he watch you to completion?

Did he see the cuddle afterwards? There's other components. If Colby's 15, I'm sure it didn't take longer than five minutes. Maybe he was taking a break. I mean, you never know with kids and porn these days. It can really mess with your boners. Yeah. It could have been just a long sesh. Why don't you ask

your partner how it was? Tell her. Be like, I just want to know. One to ten, how was it? But make sure you come at it with where she doesn't feel obligated to answer in a way just to protect your feelings. So you have to really bring... But if a guy were to ask me i wouldn't protect his feelings yeah but i don't think everyone's the same okay yeah i would say i would say my man colby um dude just take this in a positive way you know take it as a chance to you know don't let your

dad get you down take it as a chance to learn how to improve on, you know, piping. Because you'll get there, dude. Just, you know, maybe watch some videos, read some books. I'd say there's always room to grow. You will be good at boning, dude. You will be just like a king at it. Because you're at this age, you're already getting critiqued. So, you know, you're on a good trajectory're on a good trajectory just to really deliver the goods.

So just keep learning, keep growing. I would even go a step farther and say you're already there, dog. If you're boning, you're doing good. When did you guys lose your virginities, Chad, JT? 24. 17. Nice. But she came. She told you she came i think i think she came right yeah

she came didn't you get a hotel room yeah she probably came over that yeah i set it up nicely well and there had been so much build-up because we'd been dating for a couple months so at that point i think it wouldn't even have taken much to to get there because we were both so excited and we'd already told each other we loved each other i've talked about it a lot i've probably romanticized it too much nice yeah but i've always had pretty good results with that stuff you're saying that to someone you have had sex with yeah hey sultans of stoke jim here there's this lady i've been trying to woo she works at the froyo shop down the street i try to engage in some playful teasing tell her to stay away from the reese's

because she really should start watching her figure and joking that the liquid marshmallow reminded me of cum and makes me picture the two of us boning she hasn't seemed to respond ideally to my playful jabs any tips on what to say all right dude um first of all fuck this guy yeah you're telling a girl to watch her figure yeah i mean i don't even want to give this guy advice he's an asshole i think that's fair and i wouldn't consider any of the things you said playful jabs i'm surprised you even know that phrase considering the uh tenor of the conversations you're having i would uh advise you to um read more and to uh to take a break from talking to women for a couple months and just reassess. Yeah, find out who your dad is. Yeah.

What? You think you have to be fatherless to be that kind of maniac? Kind of. This kid is a monster. I would think someone raised by women would be more sensitive. Yeah. I think he was raised by, like, wolves or something. But he may just be a little bit misguided.

I wouldn't throw him under the bus completely. Yeah, he's not beyond redemption. And the marshmallow and cum thing. If a guy's cum was like marshmallow, I would swallow. Dude, good point. But let's not encourage him either. Let's make sure we steer him towards an apology towards the young lady. He wants to engage in playful teasing, which I think can be fun.

You just have to know how to do it. If you're going to say, hey, that Reese is going to make you a fucking swamp donkey, that's not really playful. Do you need to work on your figure? I would say playful teasing is like a black belt move, and this guy's doing it with negative white belt skill.

Yeah. And he built up to it. At first, I think he should just go for not saying anything to anyone for a while. And just read the room. I think the playful tease is like, why do you work at this yogurt shop, you fucking loser? That's less rude than you need to watch your figure. Again, Hannah's playful teasing is closer to this guy than the ideal, I think. Yeah, what does this guy look like?

He kind of sounds like my type but the figure comment aside what's your take on the marshmallow and jizz comment also disgusting a person i don't know it's like oh this looks like my cum i'd be like dude be more creative that being said i would love to get ice cream after this if you guys are free and i'm hungry for some bro yeah we do have something but maybe we could squeeze it in. Oh, what do you guys have? A meeting. With who?

The director of Get Sent. Our hit clip show. Oh, nice. You might be familiar with it. Yeah. Yeah. All right. The surf world loves it.

We're the toast of the town. Dude, I have a topic I'm curious about. I'd love to hear about it on the pod so does literally your does losing your virginity have to be something special or can it be just something you do i lost mine while her dad made some mean ass crab legs but it wasn't super romantic doesn't sound bad though it was a loft so i could hear him cooking while it went down also fuck puzio puzio's a kid i fought in high school and i'd love to hear joe's take on this i don't know the email for the pod, by the way. Could you keep me anonymous?

Thanks, bro. Yeah, because Joe and I talked about this, and this kid was worried about losing his virginity, and I told him not to stress about it. But Joe gave him the other side of the advice poll and was like, go for it now. You've got to get this thing done. Get it out of the way.

I completely agree with Joe. I think a virginity is like having your first In-N-Out burger. It's like, just get it out of the way. But getting your first In-N-Out burger, that's a nice way to... No, it's special. I don't think so. Because you're going to have In-N-Out burgers for the rest of your life. But don't you always have a great time every time you go to In-N-Out?

Not really. The line's very long. And I leave with the UPI. You're bringing more reality to the situation for sure i think i i think i over romance i just think if something can be special and you treat it like your life's more fun if you treat these things like they're special and they can lose meaning sometimes so it's it's nice to keep meaning around it's like christmas or your birthday it's like if you put so much into it and i put such high expectations you're gonna be disappointed yeah that's true and it's like yeah you're so much into it and put such high expectations, you're going to be disappointed. Yeah, that's true.

And it's like, yeah, I don't know. I lost mine like ripping off a bandaid and I don't regret it. But he could make it super fun, you know, put on some Barry White and just sort of like. Not with the dad below. I think this experience actually is more special. Like you'll remember something like that fondly, I think. Like the fact that the dad was below making crab legs then he had him later like that's not a bad experience by any stretch especially i mean i'd like to know more about the gal and what your guys's sitch is but um i guess i lost it at 24 and i i actually think it was like the best thing

that could happen to me now like i think about that rascal flat song god bless the broken road that led me to you like it was uh it Do You. It sucked on the way there, but I think I'm a better person for it. Even though I'm a sex addict who has a porn addiction and has had horribly unfulfilling sex with people I didn't really care about too. No, and I think it's great.

And I think your story's great because now you're with that person and it's awesome. But can I say that? Yeah, please. But I don't think it's that big of – as someone – I don't regret how I lost my virginity. Yeah. It's like it is a big deal and it feels like a big deal, but it's really not.

Yeah. But it is cool. I mean now that I'm saying it though, maybe if I did lose my virginity in a romantic loving way, maybe I wouldn't be so... Never mind. I just want people to know it's okay if you're a virgin. You're not a freak. There's a lot of super cool people who are virgins for a while, and it's okay. You don't have to do it at the top of the empire stapling your first time. But if you haven't had the right situation yet, don't feel like it has to happen or you're

not gonna like grow up and be a happy person yeah i think yeah definitely also if you i don't know and some dudes who get it super early and who get into like pot super early in high school they never leave high school because they got everything they needed early and they're like i'm out and then they just kind of like stay in like a stunted development. Yeah. I mean, I think me not getting laid for a while probably made me a little ambitious. I think it's just whatever you feel, but I think you don't, it shouldn't be something you have to do. It shouldn't, you don't feel like, I've never met someone who's, I think virgins are cool.

Yeah. Okay. If you were, if you're at a bar and you meet like a hot guy or a regular guy but you like him and he says he's a virgin what do you think i have taken a guy's virginity he was 26 was it a did you like him um or were you like i just got to do this dude a solid i didn't know he was a virgin i I found out later. Well, I knew in the moment, but. Could you really tell? Yeah. But he was very rude to me after.

Oh, really? I think. He became a douchebag instantly after. He was like, man, I got to get more of this pussy stuff. Yeah. It was such an asshole to me. And I was like, dude. And then I found out he was a virgin.

And that's when it pissed me off. I was like, you're such a dick. I figured as much. But, I don't know. If a guy was like, oh, I'm a virgin, I would be like, ah, okay. If I like them enough, who cares?

And they're clean? That's what I was going to say. Before I got with the girl I lost my virginity to, who's my girlfriend now, my friend had just gotten herpes. And I was talking to another girl about it, and I was like, I feel so disgusting being a virgin. Like, I'd rather have herpes. And she was like, are you kidding me? She was like, no, no girl thinks that way.

Every girl would rather be with a virgin than with a guy who has herpes. But I was so thwarted and twisted in my thinking, I thought being a virgin was less than having herpes not at all yeah no i there might be boys out there who still think that no definitely no and they shouldn't even in new york i feel like every person i met has herpes so i'm so weird about having sex like i do not sleep with people in new york because i feel like everyone has herpes so if i were to meet a virgin in new York, I'd be like, hell yeah. Let's get married. Let's do this.

Yeah, clean. Yeah. Put it anywhere, you know? It's fresh dick. Yeah. Whoa. Yeah, exactly. You know?

Keep yourself clean, fellas. All right, dudes, love the pod. I would entrust nobody but you two with this heavy, heavy question. One of my best bros, Billy, is in real deep with this girl. They started dating after a female succubus stole his heart and he was in a dark place. Our crew never really took to her, but he assumed he would figure it out and move on after a while once he got his stope levels back up. However, the situation has gotten out of control and he's in way too deep.

We were hammering beam and sodas and white claw seltzer one afternoon and he told us he was thinking about marrying her. We know Billy cares about her, so we've given her a tons of chances to show her true babe within but we just aren't seeing it that's at this point where we're sometimes avoiding because we know she's part of the package she's mean or anything the problem is she's not mean or any she's mean or anything the problem is she just doesn't bring much to the table it's hard to even have a conversation with her it's like her ears don't connect to her brain or something even worse when they aren't together our boy billy has to check in with her every hour or so or she gets upset. Here's the problem. We haven't told her how we feel about her

and don't know how to proceed. On the one hand, it's gone too far and if we weren't going to express our feelings, we probably should have done it like two years ago when they started hooking up. On the other hand, it's our obligation to save our bro from this dull, stoke, smothering girl or at least let him know how we feel, right? He's going to be crushed if we tell

him we're secretly dislik dislike this girl the entire time please please help um it's a tough one i feel like with girls every time i tell a girl i hate her boyfriend it just ruins our relationship because if you really like someone if you're in love with someone again it's it goes back to that story of the porn star. You don't care what other people think. You're so infatuated with this person. And you're kind of like, I've been in this position too. You're disrespecting their choice.

You have to like support them in what they choose because it's ultimately what they want. Yeah. And I think if you distance yourself and don't invite him when she's there or whatever. He'll start being like, well, why, you know. He'll do the math on his own. Yeah. So you think that's a better route? I think telling him we don't like your girlfriend, it's because I don't know if he's going to respond to that.

Clearly he likes her a lot if he's calling her every hour. So he's not going to be like, oh, okay, bye. It's going to ruin, it's's gonna hurt your relationship with him so if they're trying to keep him in their lives they should not tell him i think that's my opinion i think you need to yeah just love him yeah i've i've been through this with a lot of my friends and i've lost a friend from it and then my friend and i had a really tough time and finally i just accept it i still do not like her boyfriend but whatever it's not my life yeah i think that's smart because you're inclined to say to say dude get your head out of your ass but that's it never works that's not gonna fix the problem yeah yeah it's it's just let him figure out you

know it's his life let him figure figure it out on his own and you think that this distancing yourself i think is a proven method well it's just like they'll be like what's not totally shutting him out but yeah there's like a respectful way you can do it where like if it's like a guy's night yeah it's just kind of boys but but like you can't you don't want to excommunicate him because of his partner because well here's the other thing once all these other dudes get linked up with a girl a lot of you guys aren't going to like each other's girlfriends and stuff. You're just going to have to learn how to maneuver through it. I think be the change you want to, if you want him to like be cooler, just act cooler. And then

hopefully he'll, he'll like what you're modeling and try to follow suit. Yeah. Have you dudes ever lost your stoke to bone? Like, have ever just boned so much that cat no longer appeals as much and falls down your ladder of priorities i've boned my stoke away need to know how to regain it help bros good problem to have yeah yeah i've lost my stoke to bone for like a day wow that's a long time yeah what's a stoked bone like're just like, you're amped to like... Hannah's a nerd. You're amped to fornicate. You're like, you're psyched to like, lay pipe. You're like... I got it.

Do you? Yeah, do you? Your excitement. Have you ever lost your enthusiasm for fucking? You're asking if I've ever gone dry. Or just decided to go dry, not guys stop hooking up with you Yeah Right but it comes back

It's not anything to worry about I know what to do dude If you lost your stoke to bone Do some activities that will raise your T levels Stop watching porn too No jagging off Yoga Do squats, get in the sun it's summer watch troy watch oh dude watch

troy uh watch 300 although that might yeah no gay stuff helps because like dude the most horny i ever got was when you and jared took me to that gay bar where all the guys were dancing and there's so much uh display of outward sexuality i was like fucking horned up for a week after that because everybody's just fucking frolicking in sex free open the freeness of it yeah so dude raise your t levels that's what you gotta do yeah i think it's healthy to not want to have sex all the time yeah i love that like he's boned so much that it's healthy to not want to have sex all the time. Yeah. I love that. Like he's boned so much that it's like, he wants to do other stuff. It's like,

try other stuff then. Yeah. See what that does. It's like a pretty good problem to have. If you ask me. Yeah. The virgins on who listened to the potter, like trade me a little bit of that and I'll trade you some of my hobbies.

I'll trade you some of my building model airplanes. Yeah. But you know what? Model airplanes are fucking sweet, dude. I like people who are into stuff. Dude, we should go paintballing again. So fun. Hannah, we went paintballing.

Chad and I destroyed. I mean, granted, it was a lot of preteens. But we really fucked them. But we fucked them up, dude. And it was really good bonding because we were like... Such good bonding. How horny were you after?

Dude, I was horny. Super horny. I felt like a warrior. I mean, we were horny before. I mean, we checked in with each other the whole time. We were like, hey, are you hornier now or were you horny earlier? Was it the preteens that you were with? No.

No. It was being in charge of whether they live or die. When I shot that kid in the face, nothing can really compare to that. And we were like charging. I mean, some people have said we talk too much about the paintballing, but to them I would say try it, you know? Yeah. I really can't.

Did people say that? My girlfriend. Oh. I talked about it for like an hour when I got home, though. paintballing but to them i would say try it you know yeah i really can't say that uh my girlfriend oh well i talked about it for like an hour when i got home though i literally like kicked down the door and i was like babe i killed 30 people today yeah she was like trying to relax and watch like real housewives on the laptop and i was like honey honey so he was running down the left flank and then chad was supporting me through the bus trap and she was like yeah cool and i was like she'll never understand. I'd like to get her out there because she's a good athlete.

So I know she'll do good work. But, you know, she's not. Like a lot of females, she's not super into paintballing. Would you go? No. Because I hate losing more than I like winning. Dude, I find that with a lot of gals. Gals are more competitive than guys in my experience.

Yeah, I'm very competitive. That's why I will never have a threesome And that's why I date ugly guys You gotta put yourself out there Shoot some kids in the fucking face Alright here we go What's up bro chachos Big fan of the pod I'm a Cali bro stuck in the middle east for six months

And your positive vibes and witty banter Has kept my stoke meter higher than giraffe pussy Got some wit there yourself, sir. Hearing you speak of poke bowls and rainbow flip flops, fucking A, makes me feel like I'm not too far from home. I'm facing a bit of an ethical dilemma and was hoping you bros would weigh in. As you can imagine, several months without SoCal babes can take a toll on a guy, and the occasional self-service is inevitable.

However, my own imagination just won't do it for me anymore, and I can't get my hose pressurized without some sort of visual aid. Unfortunately, my beloved P-Hub and all other promiscuous websites are blocked through the only internet access available on the base. That leaves my final avenue for arousal to be tantalizing pictures posed on IG from girls I went to high school with. I know this is a victimless crime, but it still feels wrong. Should I keep repping toe curls to the thought of Sarah from 12th grade calculus? Class vacuuming my pork sword? Or just suck it up and slam tush when I get home.

Thanks in advance. You guys rock. P.S. Please make a strider regular on the pod. Dude is legend. I think striders going to be once a month at least. Yeah. And then, you know, it's just it's hard because he ripped so hard.

I'm like, leave some meat on that bone for me, dog. Yeah. But to your dilemma, dude, I totally get. I appreciate your honesty and coming forth about this. I don't think it's something you should feel shame about. But I do think that sometimes when I'm trying to just jay off from visuals, like from my own head, it won't work because I keep cycling back to the same three or four scenarios.

But if I really get creative, I can find something to jay off to so i would say just keep wading into the imagination and you'll you'll surprise yourself and become a more effective thinker because of it so you'll kind of be killing two birds with one stone maybe meditate before yeah go deeper yeah i would keep plugging away at that imagination the more creativity you use the more creative you'll get and um yeah i don't think you want to do porn porn i don't think porn uh is very good for you so i think the more you can stay off it the better off you'll be agreed so i think using these in that imagination that'll make everything better so just keep plugging at it you do some mental workouts you know get creative in your dome, dog.

You know, start incorporating ass play. Maybe develop a foot fetish. Maybe, you know, just think about different toys you can use. You know, really get creative with it so that, you know, when you come back and you're ready to just get down, you can really just like do it in like an awesome way. That's super creative. Yeah. I feel like you have the weirdest imagination for porn.

I imagine it's like anime. That's a compliment by the way It is anime so you got me Get nice Anime buds What up Chad and JT my name is Catherine And my mom doesn't approve of me watching Fast and Furious She thinks that if I watch I'll start speeding When I whip in my range

How do I convince her to let me watch it I love Paul Walker 2 Help You have a Range Rover Yeah Use some cross references to let me watch it i love paul walker to help you have a range rover yeah use some uh use some cross references be like well i've watched shooter with mark walberg do you see me sniping you know i just think if i had a range rover i'd be super careful all the time tell your mom that you'll take steps to remind you to not drive fast what i used to do is put a picture of my therapist newborn newborn baby in my car.

Cause I have a heavy foot and I lost my license because of it. And I'd put the picture of the baby up by the speedometer. And then anytime I hit the, the, the gas, I would see the baby and I'd be like, do I really want to like be responsible for maybe hurting someone this adorable?

And that kept me from getting too fast. That's smart. Be proactive. Be like, mom, this is what I'm going to do. Just please let me watch Paul Walker. Yeah. Maybe get one of those babies that they give you in family life class

and just throw it in the back seat. Get really creative with that. And we love how much you want to watch Fast and the Furious. So I think you got to take those steps to show your mom that it's worth that much to you to watch that great film. For sure. Is that it?

Guys, I think that's it. Guys, that is it for episode 29 of the going deep and chat jt podcast thank you guys so much for writing in for being stokers uh for just you know being awesome dudes so uh check out bonus content or patreon patreon.com slash chad goes deep keep writing in leave us a review um and yeah you guys want to say anything? Hannah, thanks so much for doing the pod. Thanks for having me, guys. I love hanging out.

I miss hanging out.