Going Deep with Chad and JT - EP 292 - Therapy Gecko Lyle Joins

Episode Date: May 24, 2023

Today, we are joined by the legend Lyle the Therapy Gecko. Lyle dives into his personal life and how he was raised. We were happy to meet such a loving and nice guy. Lyle is the host of Therapy Gecko, where he takes live calls and gives listeners advice on life. Call us, leave a 60 sec voicemail with your issue or question: 323-418-2019(Start with where you're from and name for best possible advice) Check us out on tour!  We've got Ohio and Wisconsin next! https://www.chadandjt.com Check out the reddit for some dank convo: https://www.reddit.com/r/ChadGoesDeep/ Sponsored by: Athletic Greens: Visit www.ATHLETICGREENS.com/GODEEP for a FREE 1 year supply of Vitamin D AND 5 FREE travel packs with your first purchase. One Quiet Mind: Visit https://www.onequietmind.com/products/original-weighted-pillow for the best pillow ever! S/O Mikey!

What's up guys? We have an excellent, excellent podcast for you with Lyle the Therapy Gecko. We get deep into it with him. We go into his backstory, all that kind of stuff that you guys are dying to hear. You are gonna love it. We're also, I'm coming to you from a hotel room in Toledo, Ohio. We got Columbus next tonight, Cincinnati tomorrow. The tour is so much fun. The shows are so much fun. Get your tickets at ChanJT..com we have a whole bunch of new dates that just dropped we got fort wayne coming up next indiana what up a whole bunch of new dates a whole bunch of new cities we are coming to a city near you chanjt.com we're also brought to you by the legends athletic greens guys i love athletic greens i put athletic greens in my

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That's athleticgreens.com slash go deep. Check it out. We're also brought to you by a new company that my buddy Mikey started. I'm super stoked on this new product. Guys, you've heard of the weighted blanket blanket but with this comes the weighted pillow the best way to relieve your stress anxiety any kind of mental not chillness that you're feeling this is a relaxation pillow that you just put on you you can have it while you're watching TV at the end of a long day and if you just want to feel good and feel relaxed and calm your mind check out the

weighted pillow and you can get it at onequietmind.com that's onequietmind.com all right let's start the show we're rolling all right let's sizzle up the pancakes and twist my nipples what's up stokers of stoke nation this is chad kroger coming in with the going deep challenge at podcast me with my compadre john thomas what up boom clap stokers and we are joined by lyle the therapy gecko very honored wiggity wiggity hey hey hey i thought i would try one is that brand new it's brand new i just came up with it sounded like something you had ready are these these real things that people say, have said to you guys before, or do you just come up with those?

No, that's how we talk all the time. Yeah. Every time we call each other, I say boom clap, and he has a new kind of aphorism about butts and food. Yeah, throw on the bacon and pinch my gooch. Do you guys have a, is your off camera relationship very similar to your on camera one? The exact same. Genuinely.

It's not much different. I mean, we might amp it up a little bit when the mics go hot, but we are buddies. Yeah. Have you, have you guys ever fought over anything? People ask us this a lot. I'd say fight's a strong word. It's like a marriage. Like he's like, hey, you forgot to do this.

I'm like, all right, I'll take care of that. I'm like, hey, man, I need you to do this. But no, I don't think we've ever had a, you're not like a screamer. You don't yell. No, it's like we have good communication where it's like if something's bothering us, if it reaches a point, then we'll like talk it out. But we talk it out. a point then we'll like talk it out but we talk it up and it everyone's coming from both both of us are coming from like a well intention kind of place

that's beautiful I couldn't imagine you I mean I just met you but I couldn't imagine you screaming at anyone ever no dad just when my dogs barking and I'm trying to sleep yeah what does that sound like? Lola, shut up. My girlfriend's like, I've never heard you that mad before. I was like, sorry. Even though I love the dog more than like anything.

That is love. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. How long have you had the dog for? January. Oh, okay.

Yeah. Okay. So we've done therapy together. It's been years, but you guys did therapy. Like you went to a two or three times. You guys did like couples therapy. Yeah. Okay. And we've done therapy together. It's been years. Wait, you guys did therapy? Like you went to a real therapist together? Yeah. You guys did like couples therapy?

Yeah. Really? Yeah. What was that like? It was awesome. It was good. Yeah. What was the catalyst for going there?

You suggested it, right? One time I did and then one time you did. Oh, that's right. Yeah, we were just, I think we are better now at talking about it on our own but i think at that point we needed someone else to like kind of help us get it out get it all out on the table so we could work it out and but it was not like it wasn't like someone did something like crazy bad it was just like we were both like kind of frustrated so we're like hey let's not be frustrated all the time and try to clear the air yeah when did you guys decide you were gonna like be a team together it kind of

just evolved that way um i don't think there's any like decision that's just i guess it was kind of the audience's decision yeah we were working together and then it felt like factors kept pushing us more and more together. Yeah. And we just always worked well together too. And you know, like the first time, it wasn't like a huge thing, but for us at the time, it was gigantic. Like when you're starting off as a comedian, you want to get a show at one of the clubs. Right.

And they're tough to get. And then me and, it was his idea. He's like, let's do a show at the improv in their smaller room, the lab. And I was like, yeah, let's send an application. We sent it in and we had a good time writing it together. And then right away we got a yes. And that was like the first yes I'd ever gotten. And I was like, oh man, when we're together, it seems like the lights turn green.

And it felt really competitive. Oh, I thought it was a fist bump. Oh yeah, sorry. Yeah, three way. Yeah. There we go. It felt really competitive too to get was a fist bump. Oh, yeah, yeah, sorry. Yeah, three-way. There we go. It felt really competitive, too, to get a show there. Yeah.

It's cool, though, because stand-up is such a solitary, depressing pursuit. Sure. And you guys have each other. And there's pros and cons of being alone, and then the pros and cons of being with other people. Yeah. being alone and then the pros and cons of you know it being with other people yeah I think we do a good job of like taking our alone time too seriously okay so it's not like like we're on tour and stuff we're not like oh we have to have every meal together we have to do you know what I mean it's like I think we

have a nice balance to where it's like it doesn't feel like it's too much. When you go on tour, do you guys have ever like, do you, dude, there's a word. There's some French word that's like going out on the town and fuck, what's the name? I don't know this word. But do you stroll about town and like see the sights of Indianapolis? It's not Bon Vervant. Dude, there's a word. It's not Joie de Vivre

it's not L'Espirit de la Scaliere that's when you think of the thing you want to say too late you know a lot of French words I guess a couple, I know Bonjour for sure I should have said Oui Oui when you said you know a lot of French words I know the casual word for yes in France

what's that? Oui I almost started saying that Oui is formal I know the casual word for yes in France. What's that? Oui. Oui. Oui. I'm going to start saying that. That's cool. It's like oui is formal. Like oui is like yes and oui is like yeah.

Oh, really? Yeah. I know. Terrible. That's been like a bad celebrity. Say that again. Terrible. Terrible.

Mm-hmm. Like terrible child. I guess orgasm in French means little death. Little death? What's orgasm in French? Oh. Yeah. Oh.

You know, my mom almost named me Pierre. Ouais, ouais. My mom almost named me Pierre. Really? Mm-hmm. She's an artist. I'm so glad she named you Chad. I know, me too.

Do you? My dad's very all-American, 50s. You know, he's like, no, it's Chad. And his great-great-great-great-grandfather was actually the first recorded Chad. Yeah, yeah. Really? Like, the first recorded, like, wait, the first recorded person named Chad? Yeah, like, when he got to Ellis Island.

Yeah. Dude, that's awesome. He wrote what up on the thing. You were like determined to be who you are already. I mean, it's my birthright. Yeah, to be tan. Where do Chad, like what's the Chad, you know how like Jews go to Israel?

Yeah. Pilgrimage to Mecca, where do Chad's? Cabo. Cabo. Yeah, we go to Cabo. You get... It's sort of like your induction into being a Chad is like, you know that guy at Señor Frogs with the tequila shots?

That's sort of... When you do the whistle thing, you're just like, oh shit, I'm a Chad. Now, you said that you're not a drug guy. You don't really do... No, I love to get fucked up. But I just... i binge a little too hard so i and you know what i've because i've talked about this with friends because i have

a buddy i had dinner with who's like an entrepreneur and i'm like when you're kind of in this thing where it's you're your own boss whenever i uh party too much. I feel tremendous guilt. But I don't know. Do you party? I'm a pretty big stoner. I'll get high and then immediately be like, why did I get high just now? I'll get high before going to the grocery store,

which is a terrible thing to do. And then all of a sudden I have the worst. Because you're hungry for everything? Yeah, because you're hungry for everything. And I look at my cart and I'm like, this is not okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I get that too because I'll smoke pot and it'll just make me paranoid or scared or nervous about my health. But I think I would take that over being bored.

We might have this in common. So I'm a stoner, but I don't get high when I like them. Nobody who's seen me on the internet has ever seen me high. Like I don't get high and do my gecko thing, but people think I'm high all the time because I'm a lizard. I assume people think you guys are high all the time. Anytime I'm sober, they think I'm high. And I have been high like on TV before. That sounds fucking awful.

It's scary, but no one knows that I'm high. It's only when I'm sober, they think I high interesting yeah people always thought stoner i've never been one though because people have this i don't and everyone kind of is different when they get high but people have this thing where it's like yeah when you get high you just like say a lot of cool funny things instead of like no you get really awkward and don't want to talk to anybody yeah or you spend a lot of your energy trying not to look high right and maybe you're doing a good job but when i'm sober i'm not trying to present so i just look high it's kind of i like doing that though because i i there was like a

shower thought on reddit or something that said like being high when you're high you're like auditioning to be yourself like you're trying to like because you're you're because you get so aware of how you are yeah you're like okay i how do i how am i normally let me adjust myself it's like when you become aware of your breathing right you know you become aware of your personality and now you're like okay now i'm now i'm personalitying manually and then you start to you make a choice then you're like so why what kind of person would make that choice to be that kind of person and you start like psychoanalyzing or being really Scrutinizing of just like your typical behavior

I think it's kind of good that way because you get a view of yourself and then you get to kind of be like Oh, why do I automatically go to that place? It's a good you said it's a good thing And that's a good it's an interesting argument of like, on the spectrum of awareness of yourself, where's the sweet spot? Because you don't want to be too self-aware. No, that's true.

But you don't want to, you know. Then you get paralysis through analysis where you're like, you're just sitting in your head being like, am I the kind of person

who would do da-da-da-da? And then you're not a person. Right. I think I've been working to become less self-aware because I was too self-aware as a kid. Ultimately, if it was binary, if you had to pick between less self-aware and too self-aware,

the people who are less self-aware, they win every time. Yes. If it was a binary, if it was one or the other, being not self-aware at all, you win. Because you just go and you exert yourself upon the universe they're my favorite i'm attracted to those people the most like i just love like a douche then because they're just so funny yeah because they don't give a fuck yeah it's so attractive to like be around that energy especially when you do care do they not do you think they don't give a fuck or they don't even like it doesn't even process to them that probably doesn't the

idea giving a fuck is not even in their universe i think more it doesn't process what do you guys think i mean if we're talking about kevin it's like uh i've i've had i've had difficult conversations where i've tried to put the awareness into him yeah and there's a uh a force field yes that doesn't allow those uh critiques or those notions to penetrate yeah but but i think you and kevin's the man he's uh like an amazing guy he has a really good values but you too like i think if you don't have any self-awareness it's not a bad thing because you're a good person right at your core i think i would in the binary i would take self-awareness for people who are instinctively like destructive i guess right sure yeah but who is kevin he's a small of our friend group he's our buddy yeah wait there's more of you guys how

many of you guys are in the group five thousand yeah hell yeah how big's your crew just me man well i mean i mean i got like i'm the only gecko is you know do you do you travel with someone or you go solo um i was going solo for a while but now i i sucked yeah but now i have now i have a tour manager's help me out oh that's nice yeah have you uh do you ever see yourself bringing on like another i got a gecko or another animal um i don't i'm trying to i've i've had like you know i'll have guests on the show and stuff but like uh i don't know i i i i that'd be cool i'd like to experiment with like a walrus.

Whoa. I just watched the movie, I just watched the movie Tusk. Yeah. The Justin Long one by Kevin Smith? Yeah, you ever seen that movie? No. You shouldn't. I heard it's weird. Yeah, let's skip to the part where he becomes the walrus.

Right, it's like a transformation kind of thing, a little fly-ish. Yeah, yeah. Interesting. What is, what is this? This is Magic Mind. yeah yeah why about what is what is this this is a magic mind we were they were gonna sponsor us and and pay us and then the conversation got lost okay through agents and managers so you're saying that you can take so you're saying that you can test it right now and give your I'm taking matters into my own hands

bringing it on the show we love taking it Chad loves it the most I love it Ryarin I get guy off this These are my nootropics. It's got matcha, adaptogens. Does this taste good? Don't tell me. Immunity. Look, yeah. I mean, look, when It's got shrooms. It's got cordyceps, but not the Last of Us kind.

Oh my god. I'm boosted. This kind of tastes... Oh, let it breathe a little bit. Oh Oh you're supposed to It says here And breathe Not the This tastes like a

This tastes not like candy But like This tastes like when you've Had too much candy Like have you ever eaten A whole roll of Smarties? One of my favorite feelings In the world

Thanks Magic Mind Yeah In a good way Which camera do I look at? In a good way. Yeah. To add to all the things. Like, whatever your favorite candy is, whether it be Sour Patch, Nerds, Warheads, Milk Duds.

So, what were you going to say? I think you'd pair well with an otter. An otter? Otters are adorable. You ever seen an otter in real life? Dude, in Santa Cruz, they just float on their back. Really? And then they'll float on their back back and then they'll have rocks right and they'll get like muscles or like crabs and and they'll smash the crabs or the muscles with rocks on their belly. The cutest

thing I've ever seen even though it's so destructive and you feel bad for the crab but I whenever I see them go by I would actually when i'd be in the water i'd be like hey i'm feeling a little lonely today and it wouldn't say anything but i think you'd make a good therapy animal i've i would uh transform i like the idea of having a a table on my belly yeah whoa yeah it's good in the bathtub for sure you can write on it and eat croissants do you guys do you guys ever write in the bathroom i write on my phone in the bathtub i sure. You can write on it and eat croissants. Do you guys ever write in the bathroom? I write on my phone in the bathtub. I take long baths.

Yeah? You take long baths? Mm-hmm. I don't take long baths, but every time I take a shower, I sit down. That's wonderful. Yeah. So are you mimicking something when you do that? Mimicking something?

I guess for me, the bathtub is kind of being in the womb like i got the walls of the water all over me and i feel safe and enclosed or like in ensconced um but when you sit down what is you're just relaxing well i guess the water is kind of like it's it's dripping comfort upon me yes you deserve that you do do you really think so i do thank you are you would you you're i love the way you're looking in my eyes right now it's very loving like i can tell you and i and i can tell you're not even faking i can tell you really no i just it's always there and sometimes i just have to let it come through i like that so how do you let it like do, how often is it coming through? Too much, man.

Too much? Yeah, because the world's a brutal place. Too much? No, you have, we have like five minutes to live, grandly. You let it out as much as you can. Yeah, just let it all out. Better out than in. Yeah.

Do you think that's the purpose of life, is to let your love out? Is that the purpose of life, to let your love out? Oh, God, I don't know what the purpose i think so i think so i you know what sucks is i love i love like all this hippie stuff of like let your love out and um uh you know i'm trying to be a loving person trying to look at people in the eyes you know the way that you looked at me in the eyes just now but um then like five seconds later i'm like pissed off about something right and then i'm like no i'm such a and especially because i'm on the i have my podcast where i'm like talking to people about this stuff and i'll be on a podcast and i'll go on some rants and then i'll be like pissed off

about something and i'm like no i've betrayed myself by being so uh you know by getting upset it's something that just is like such a bullshit but anger is not the flip side of love right like i think that's an interesting question in religion class sophomore year they said it was apathy that that's the opposite of love really so i think as long as it's passionate as long as it's righteous as long as it's real i'm still perceiving that as love really even if it's like anger over like something stupid yeah even better like what's stupid like um this is not me but like let's say you're in the drive-thru line and you know it's they get your order wrong and you someone get you would get really pissed off about it is that love yeah you should want a nuclear bomb that entire place you're a human

being man is it love is it love you love your scream at the wendy's drive-thru person yeah because you love your food yeah and you want it soon okay and you're saying hey i love my food and you're getting in the way of that by being a dumb ass see is that so that back to what we're talking about is that a level of self-awareness that is bad? Like when you're so self-aware that you're on like the 10th echelon of human thought where you understand that it is righteous and good to yell at people and be pissed off all the time. You've ultimately. You've reached the peak. Yeah ultimately you've reached the peak yeah you've reached the peak yeah when you're honoring yourself at all times do you do you do you get

i guess it's golden rule for me too would you be upset if someone yelled at you would i be upset if somebody yelled at me it depends on what they're yelling at me for you messed up their order at wendy's you don't even work there but you jump behind to just help out well then yeah i would be like i deserve it yes there you go yeah yeah look you're all right have you guys ever worked at it like a place like a fast-food place no I know no you were a surf instructor I was a surf instructor you ever work at one of those like surf shacks did I like from rocket power you know i'm talking about dude honestly i wish like i i have fantasies of serving people burgers on the pier and just never did it but

maybe we should do like a pop-up that sounds i faked a job fucking sick yeah yeah you faked a job i faked a job at a surf shack at the marriott in dana point oh that's what you said wendy's i thought that was based off of a true story no no but no. But I would wear a uniform for the Marriott and I would go to the beach every day and play volleyball. My parents thought I was working there. And then one day my dad came to visit me at work and I went into the surf shack and I convinced the girl who actually worked there to let me

fake it for the day. And then right before my dad got there... So you really quickly, as you saw your dad approaching, explained everything to this girl. My dad had told me that day, I'm going to come visit you today at one. So I came early. I gave her a lay of the land.

She was cool with it. Like five minutes before my dad pulls up, one of the valet guys was like, I think sweet on her. And he came over and said, hey, you can't fake a job here. And I was like, my dad's about to be here. Just give me 15 minutes. And he said, no, you got to leave. But as I was walking out, my dad pulled up and I said, hey'm on lunch let's go to Subway I'm on lunch that's a great dude you're a genius dude one of the smartest guys who ever lived bro have you ever worked as

a fast food I worked at a uh frozen yogurt store for a while I worked at if you if you can get a job at a failing business it's awesome why because I worked at this frozen yogurt store that was on like ice it was um it was half candy store half frozen yogurt all the candy was stale nobody wanted to ever go in so i was like 16 and i was just running this frozen yogurt store alone so i was like i'm pretty much getting paid to eat stale candy yeah that sounds great i i love ice cream. It's like my favorite thing on earth. Yeah? What's your? I would just bathe in it. I'm a guess.

You're a Rocky Road guy. Dude, close. I love marshmallows. I just don't like nuts. Do you like mint chocolate chip? Yeah, I do. I used to hate mint chocolate chip. I used to think it was like toothpaste.

I'm right there with you. It's not dessert. How do you feel about now? I like it now it's great i love that stuff how did you change your mind i'm kidding um how did i change my mind on it i um oh you know how you know what it was is um i really wanted ice cream and uh all the uh in like this is when I was living at home with my mom. There was no ice cream in the freezer except mint chocolate chip. So I was like, fuck it, I want ice cream. I'm going to try it. And then I really had to give it a good try.

Yeah. And you're also green, too. I am also green. It makes sense. Maybe I should launch a, hey, if you guys do a pop-off, can I do, like, a gecko mint chocolate ice cream as, like, the dessert? You must be getting offers on that stuff right for to for yeah you know look my my agent is currently in discussion with turkey hill but i probably shouldn't talk about that what's turkey hill oh it's like the ice cream oh why'd they call it turkey hill i don't know it's a terrible name for an ice cream i shouldn't even say have said that. It sounds like a whiskey.

It does sound like a whiskey. Well, there's Wild Turkey 101. Right. That must be what I'm thinking. Or McDonald's favorite. So when you were working at the frozen yogurt place, were you thinking, I'm going to be like a public kind of therapist at that point? I was thinking about combining red velvet, yogurt, chocolate chip cookie dough bites, gummy worms, butterfingers. So you always had kind of an ambitious mind. Yeah, it was ambitious.

so you always had kind of an ambitious mind yeah yeah yeah it was ambitious um no well i did i started doing stand-up when i was like 16 and i did that from 16 to 22 and then i gave up and then i gave up um it's really weird like the way that my life has worked out now doing like all these um shows because now i'm like doing shows at comedy clubs when like i was um i remember so uh when i was when i quit doing stand-up i remember i went to a showcase that like my friends were on that i wasn't on um and it was like in someone's backyard and there was another comedian who was just there hanging out that wasn't on the show and i went up to them and i was like uh we were just talking and i was like man isn't it kind of nice to like not like have to do stand-up tonight and the guy looked at me like i was crazy he was like what what are you talking about i'm a comedian i always want to

be on stage and i and and when he told me that i was like walking home and i was like if i'm not thinking like that then there's no fucking point right doing this right so i'd like really kind of uh fucking completely given up doing that um but then when i started doing this and like doing the live shows it was a weird like uh i guess semi-circle around that whole thing and now i'm doing my own version of the uh a thing of a gecko thing it's not exactly stand-up did your mind switch to where you feel as compelled as he did to do stand-up to do what you're doing now oh yeah i love doing i love doing these live shows now again you know what and here's the thing i like them even when they're not going well right that's

the that's the test if you like something because everything you just attempt to do will at some point like you know i mean that's the nature of any kind of like comedy or live performance like you will bomb or it will not but if you like you know i like i like i like it all the time it's it's a lot of fun it's it's it's um i don't know i'm just having a lot of fun like i fun. I got most of me doing this is me in a room alone. And then I'm going from doing that to like I'm looking at real people in the face. And that's been a lot of fun. And how did the initial idea come about? Oh, to do the gecko?

Yeah. Dude, it was all just screwing around. Yeah. Like I had a gecko costume left over from a different video that I had made. And then I started streaming on Reddit. You guys Reddit guys? I go on there. You can stream on Reddit?

So, have you ever been on Reddit and seen like a thing that says top broadcast and it's a dude playing guitar or some shit like that? Oh, maybe. They got rid of it. Yeah. But that was called the reddit public access network okay and uh that was reddit streaming platform and it was like right when the pandemic started i was like i kind of want to fuck around on here and i have this gecko costume and so i started taking calls with the gecko costume yeah and then i tiktok was

popular so i was like let me fuck around on here and post a clip from one of my Reddit streams. And then that started doing well. And then everything since then has just been like, okay, let me keep doing that. And did you have any kind of therapy background? No, no, no, no. Wow. I mean, I have always liked talking to strangers. And I've always felt like it's

the best thing you could possibly do like go and try to like talk to people university like it between now and the time i die it's like it'd be the best way to live probably would be to try to talk to as many people as i can i think so and like learn about shit yeah be curious yeah and empathetic did you have you got has your ear gotten sharper to like when you hear someone start talking you can already kind of guess what the issue is or what their kind of uh gap is like what they need to work on i don't know i don't know because i don't i'm not i don't know i have no idea what people need to work on i don't know shit i'm not like uh my i think my podcast is not about like me giving people advice or telling them what to work on because

i have no fucking idea i'm not like qualified or in any position at all to do that. But like, it's more so, I never, I don't like, I kind of reject the whole therapy angle of it, even though it is kind of therapy in a way. Because I'm more so interested in like doing, I guess you could call it motivational interviewing, which is like some psychology term that somebody told me about. More than like me giving advice like it's not an advice show i have no you're just giving them a place to get it out yeah like someone's like i like i mean a lot of my calls i'll just talk like somebody has a cool job and i'll just talk to them about their cool job and they don't have like a problem or anything um and i like that because i don't have advice how much of tony robbins efficacy and success do you guys attribute to the size of his head he's there's a lot of stuff in there there's a lot of stuff and it's it's like uh it's so

it's like this powerful square are you a tony robbins fan i just read i'm not but i i i'm i watch his documentary a lot i'm not your Netflix it's amazing really are you say is do you like him ironically or sincerely no no like somewhere in between both i just love his intensity and his uh force of personality i get a kick out of it the way he claps is very forceful. How does Kenny do this? No fingers. Yeah. And he does, you want to see his warm up?

This is how he gets on stage. Hit it, baby. Oh, you know what? Have you guys ever seen, have you guys ever seen, there was a clip that went viral. It goes viral every so often of his daughter who's like 10. oh she's got to be a force of nature have you i guess have you seen it no no i haven't seen it but okay there's a clip of his daughter yeah it was like i think it's his daughter yeah and she's like 10 and he has like he's like a conference every year and he has speakers and he has his like 10 year old

daughter come up and like give this speech about how like excited she is to join the workforce oh really yeah it's pretty funny yeah i don't know i have a i work for you guys gotta see this do you guys ever pull things up or this is not a pull thing i pull it up on my phone and then we we put it in and post on the screen so yeah if you want me to look i'll look let me pull it up tony robbins daughter tony robbins daughter ted there's some clip of it but i don't know if yeah let's look at this shit let's look it up i've been at my live shows i'm trying to look stuff up more it's fun yeah it's fun the computer and shit yeah yeah do you people like going on the computer together do you have people come up and you talk to them yeah yeah so i have like a phone so people like when doors open there's a phone number on the screen right and people text the phone number with what they want to talk about

and i'm backstage like you know um uh jessica um you know wants to peg her boyfriend but has to convince him to do it like and i'm like writing down like all And I go up and I'm like, Jessica, come to the stage. Oh, that's great. And she comes on stage. And I'm like, so, you want to pick your boyfriend? Yeah, yeah. And we just talk about it. Oh, that's great.

And then you have someone screening calls, right? How does that work? Sometimes I have somebody screen calls. Sometimes I just take random calls. And then what prompted the decision to do live calls versus voicemails? Oh, I can't do voicemails. I'm not, like, that's why I can't do, like, dear. That's why I was saying with, like, the advice thing.

I don't really give advice. So I can't do, like, the dear Abby kind of thing of, like, here's my big paragraph of a thing that I'm dealing with, and here's my big response. Because in order to do that you have to make a without you have to make so many assumptions right and then you like to you like to have the conversation you like to listen yeah i like to have uh the conversations with people about it and i don't honestly my favorite podcasts are the ones where i talk the least

amount of uh words and i'm just like listening yeah because i'm you know i'm in my own the way i look at the podcast sometimes like i'm in my own head all the time every day with my own whatever the fuck is going on in my life and the podcast is an intro is a fun opportunity to get out of my own head and into somebody else's and in the not so much like like i'm going to present them with the solution to their problems but like i'm with them what happened okay i'm with let's exist in this together for a second so that i can you know get out of my own problems and i hope for the people listening that it's like uh that provides that as well it does the same some escape yeah what so where do you think the thoughts in your head come from like where does is that just you were born hardwired to to think i don't dude i'm fucking stupid sometimes

i have to drink like two of these to get it to do what one would get the engine running yeah yeah i am on that brother i'm dumb too and actually my beef we do a beef of the week we'll get there later my beef is gonna be that we're all just so dumb. Like people are just so dumb. Do you think everyone's dumb? I think we're all pretty stupid. Yeah. See, I'm dumb. So I would love for everyone to be dumb. I think you got it.

Nah. I mean, that's like, that's the dumb that's the dumb guy's fantasies that everybody else is dumb. But the dumb guy's nightmare, you know what the dumb guy's nightmare is? You're the only one. No, you guys never think about that you never think like dude am i the you guys are you guys ever you guys ever have anything where you're like dude am i the only fucking one like this yeah i mean i had someone use the word loquacious yesterday and i it i couldn't think for the rest of the night what what does it mean i don't know

that's why i'm dumb you didn't look it up i'll tell you this that five seconds of silence right for the rest of the night. What does it mean? I don't know. That's why I'm dumb. You didn't look it up? I'll tell you this, that five seconds of silence right there was the opposite of loquacious. That was very loquacious silence. I just walked home and I just stared at the wall

and I was like, oh. But you know, if you're dumb and everyone else is smart, that's ideal, right? Because then you're going to be learning all the time. Yes. They tell you to be in rooms where you're the and everyone else is smart, that's ideal, right? Because then you're going to be learning all the time.

Yes. They tell you to be in rooms where you're the dumbest guy. Yeah. And I appreciate you saying that because I think that's a good way to look at it. Because I think I was looking at it like, I don't think I can give advice because a lot of times I'm learning. I think I can give advice because I, a lot of times I'm learning, this is a classic thing, but I'm learning more from people who call me than I think the people who call me are learning from me. It seems like you're so good at being like a nonjudgmental ear.

Yeah, I try to be. Even in conversation, like when we were talking before the pod, it's like you're genuinely curious about people. Yeah, I am. Yeah, yeah. I don't know i i tried it but i think um you know okay so on the you know i noticed this on the internet is somebody will somebody on my will call me and they'll just start talking and then uh somebody in the chat will be like this this guy has a shitty relationship with his parents.

And I'm like, what the fuck? How do you? They just started talking. That's everybody now, though. Yeah. That's why I think people are dumb now. They just come in with huge. They come in immediately after like a one minute.

It's like you don't know. And you can talk to somebody. You can be friends with somebody for years and not fucking know anything. You don't know shit about anything. I go you don't you don't know shit about and i don't i go into that i don't know shit about anything and i think to be judgmental you have to think you know shit and you also it's like do you got all your shit figured out because most people have a bad relationship with their parents on some level even if it's ideal it's all relative to them they don't know it's it could be tough in its own way but then they'll just come and be like yeah this, this girl, like, she doesn't love her.

Like, she's got a bad relationship with her dad and she's not with her kids enough. I'm like, off a photo, bro? Like, how do you know that? You know one thing that people say in my chat a lot that I hate is people will be like, oh, this person is just looking for attention. Yeah, of course. Everyone's looking for attention. It's a stupid thing to accuse someone of and I think like okay you know the phrase pick me girl yeah I hate that phrase I hate it a lot because it

any fray anything like attention whore a pick me girl or thing like that where it's like the only stop harming those keys so hard? You got to stop typing so loud. I'm sorry. They're Googling. What is that word? Loquacious. They're Googling loquacious. And they still haven't finished writing the word. Yeah.

God damn it. Hold on. I'm sorry. No, no, no. I'm going to remember what I was going to say. Pick me. Pick me. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Because it's just trying to get. Okay, you know. Okay, we were talking earlier about being aware of your actions and stuff. And when you're too self-aware of your actions and you're too worried about how you're going to be perceived, you kill yourself a little bit. And you are not being fully yourself. those kinds of phrases and sentiments out there, I think are just ways, just out there to get people to like kill parts of themselves.

Like being annoying, like calling people annoying. Look, some people are very annoying. Yeah. Being annoying is of all the things you can be. It's not, it's not that bad to be annoying.

Yeah. It's fine to be annoying. And it feels so good to put other people down too. Yeah, it does. You know, it's, it's, it just feels so much better. Yeah. down too yeah you know it's it's uh

it just feels so much better yeah if you could if you can put everyone into a box then you're safe everyone's stuck in their box yeah right right i think that's what it is if we're just in the boxing era right now you know what another problem is is that being mean is funnier than being nice yeah it is which is a problem it's a Which is a problem because I want to be nice. Have you called anyone like a bitch who you just called in or anything like that? I've shat on people

that call in before, but if I'm ever doing that, I'm only doing it to be funny. I don't think I would do that as a way of like, I cast sin upon thee. And what was your crew like in high school well we were assholes we were always making fun of people um no i don't think i was a good guy in

high school so is this kind of penance what you're doing now i did the same thing i was a bully and now i'm like very self-conscious about that stuff trying to think my friends and my friends and i thought we were like the funniest people in the school and like that made us think we were better than everyone else. Did you win funniest in the yearbook senior thing?

I don't even think there was one of those things. Superlative? Senior superlative? No. Did you? Yeah. Really?

Which is probably why I brought it up. Cut that. Cut that from the pod. Rachel, that's good. Can we get a picture of that on there? Yeah. In post? No, my friends and I thought we were the funniest kids in school.

And by the way, I mean, we were. Right. But. Did you get good grades? Yeah, I got good grades. College? I got good grades in college. Where'd you go to college?

I went to college at Temple University. Oh, nice. The Owls. Yeah, how do you know that? John Chaney, was he the coach there for a long time? I don't know anything about sports. Where's Temple? Philadelphia.

I'll show you that. Ooh. Yeah. Do you like Philly? I love Philly. Oh, that's where Tim and Eric went to college, right? Yeah, dude. Oh.

Yeah, because I worked at their production company. Absolutely. And they made our show. But we always had a pipeline of Temple students who came through. Because I think they set up like an intern program. Yeah, my friend worked at Absolute. When I was a Temple kid, that was the job I really wanted to work at. What was your buddy's name?

TJ. No way. Really? Yeah, 100%. Dead serious. His name was TJ. And he worked at Abso? He worked at Abso.

He was an intern at Abso, yeah. Oh, I don't know if I ever crossed paths with him. That's wild. Maybe you did. He's a big, burly dude. Oh, I would have remembered that. I think part of the... When did he work there?

Well, when did he work... Oh, shit, man. I have no... It's like at least five years ago. That's Matt Houser, yeah. Oh, really? Yeah. Okay, I'll ask him.

I'll ask him if he knows you. See if he ever filled the printer paper with me um when i was uh part i like i'm not gonna say i went to temple university because tim and eric went there but i did remember going like to the notable people and be like oh fucking tim and eric went here okay maybe maybe that's something well you're doing it yeah well it's a good also philly's a great comedy i don't know what it's like now. I haven't, like. A lot of big comedians. Kevin Hart came out of there.

Yeah, yeah. I mean, even, like, just when I was there, there was, like, there was this place called the Good Good Comedy Theater. I don't think it's around anymore, but that place was awesome. There's a lot of, like, alt rooms and, like, there's a great uh comedy scene so my me doing back in my like stand-up era i was like i did baltimore as like a teenager and philly as a car i never would have thought you were from baltimore when you told me that before we started i was i thought you were for some reason where'd you think i was from you read as australian to me i read it australian yeah

is it because i'm a creature, maybe that's what it is. Maybe I just associate, like, unique animals with being from Australia. Watch out for my tail. It'll sting you. And, like, you don't have an accent, but I was like, maybe he moved here when he was, like, 10 or something. What about me? Do you feel it's Australian? Maybe it's that you're so laid back.

Okay. Like, I think it was from the posture you have when I watch the streams oh that you always seem pretty chill and i think maybe that's uh uniquely australian to me okay no i think i just my body's shitty no way dude you're at peace uh fucking have you have you guys been to philly yeah Yeah, we went. Did you do a show there? A couple years ago. We're supposed to do shows there. We went to Philly? Remember when we did Fruit Smash?

Oh, yeah. This seltzer company that we were sponsored by for a year, we did commercials for them. They did all the deals for you. It was nice. Yeah, we went to all cities with sexual innuendo names. So we went to Blue Ball, Pennsylvania. Butendo names so we went to blue ball pennsylvania but we started and also intercourse but we started in philly can i tell you guys i was

before we started the podcast i was looking at the screen and it just occurred to me that going deep was a sex thing it actually wasn't right yeah that wasn't the intention chad there's no way that wasn't the intention no it's no way that wasn't the intention. No, it was to go deep into my brain, into knowledge. It was an accidental double entendre. And we have small dongs, so. You have a small penis? Yeah.

Yeah, it's a small. What's up? How big is your penis? Dude, picture a thumbtack. We don't like to get into inches because we don't want to alienate anyone who feels like they have a small penis or someone who has a small penis and thinks it's big we don't want to you know take them out of that sure yeah yeah we don't want them to feel bad sure our basic rule of thumb though is if it's bigger than your iphone it's big if it's smaller it's small that's erect most i feel like most guys penis are as a rat are as big as the ip's smaller, it's small. That's erect. I feel like most guys' penis are as big as the iPhone.

Around that. Mine's like a ring pop. It's also an easy way to measure because you guys ever just like, you're sitting on the toilet, right? And you just take your phone and you're like, let me just see how it compares. Do you see it getting smaller? And you're like, what is happening? Yeah, it'll have weeks where it's smaller and weeks where it's bigger. I don't know what it is. Just the blood's not pumping sometimes.

You guys ever use like a pump? No. Oh, the cock pump? Yeah, cock pump. No. I should, though. No, but I had a buddy who has one, and he showed it to me, and it looked terrifying. It looked like something from a dr seuss does he use it yeah does it work i don't know has he used it before

a date or are you just like i give this a pump i don't know if it works like that or if you're supposed to just like do it uh on like you make it part of your routine like you brush your teeth you pump your car you stretch it out dude yeah that'd be funny if you're on a date and you're like i gotta hit the bathroom i'm gonna powder my nose just come out with a huge cock have you been have you been intimate as the gecko everyone asked me that i know i'm sorry no it's okay um what like have i been intimate in the suit in the paint that's a yes I've kissed somebody in the pan before yeah that's the gentleman thing that's a pretty sure for sure I did you cock pump before I was on a I was on a date once and but like we I was

we were with people and somebody asked the person I was with, they were like, so is your pussy green? They asked you that? No, they didn't ask me. Oh, they asked the girl that. Right. That's a rude question. That is a rude question. Yeah, that's very rude.

I mean, yeah, were you like, don't make me put these gecko hands on you, bro. No, I was like, all right, I'm going to ignore that. That's the only choice, you look at her you're like is it do you think do you think i always wonder about that when guys like lob insults at a gal when she's with another guy and do you think that's just because those people are upset i don't think that was i don't think it was an insult oh really i think the idea behind it was like when if when he goes down on you, does your pussy hurt? I think that was what they were going for.

Still just way beyond the pale in terms of they're strangers, right? Well, granted, this was at a sex convention. Not a sex convention, a porn convention. So maybe the vibe was different how was that it was fun dude it was awesome were you giving therapy

to porn stars yeah I went to the do you know what AVN is yeah of course I went to AVN wow I did like I did gecko stuff there

oh that's cool it was fun man I heard they're the nicest people dude they're the nicest I went I went into that thinking like oh I don't know if I'm going to fit in. I don't know if people are like, I had in my mind, I'm like, are people going to be

like stuck up? Or everyone was, like everybody I met was super nice and cool. Which is a bummer because everyone is always like shitting on them. Right. I think porn stars and comedians have always had a lot of overlap socially as well. Like they've a long history of comedians dating porn stars. A lot of porn stars try comedy. They come to the comedy store a lot as well.

I think there is something about the lifestyle that is overlapping. Are there any, like, famous porn star comedian people? No one famous, but a bunch who have tried their hand at it. I'm trying to think who's, like, the best. Now, who's gone the reverse? Who's been a comedian that did porn? there was one there was one there was a girl who was like a uh a comedian and she ended up doing a like an amateur sex tape with a prominent male uh porn star and and uh she mentioned john millennium and he retweeted it which was

and she mentioned John Mulaney in it and he retweeted it. He did? He retweeted the sex tape? No, he retweeted her interview. Oh, her mention. She did an interview after the fact and they were like, who are your favorite comedians? She was like, John Mulaney. He's like, thank you for this nice reference.

Hilarious. Nice, nice, nice. But no, I don't know if anyone's been top of the heap in both, but that would be, again, a force to reckon with. You know what? People always ask me the question have you ever had sex with a suit I don't know why

people why like why people ask that I guess because for me I was picturing that there would probably be people who would really want to do that

who would encourage you to do it like that like a woman would be like oh man like I want to have sex with him in a suit

and that would be like a unique experience so I was at man, I want to have sex with him in a suit. And that would be like a unique experience for me. So I was at the porn convention. I was with this – I was like hanging out with this guy. And I was like – I was in my suit and walking around. And like a few people were like, oh, Gekko guy, what's up? And I was like, hey. And the guy who I was hanging out with, he's a porn star.

And he was like – and I made some joke to him about like, oh, maybe I'll start an OnlyFans where I have sex in a suit. And he looked at me very seriously. He didn't take it as a joke. And he was like, yeah, you could make a lot of money doing that. Yeah. I bet you could. You could. I bet I could.

Maybe on the second half of whatever the fuck this is yeah that must be weird i wonder if getting paid for and i it's probably it's first thought but like because i'm thinking about how you were saying you didn't have that compulsion to do stand-up every night i wonder if you were having sex for money and on a schedule if it would reduce your appreciation of it i don't know i don't i don't i mean it's probably it's probably with anything you know like i mean even um i mean even like how like you know what i have i have i have intimate conversations with folks all the time for a living and it's like how has that affected my ability to have intimate

conversations in my personal life? Like, not, it's probably, I assume it's a similar thing with sex. Has it affected your, like, do you feel your brain going into, like, kind of work muscles when you're having a normal intimate conversation? No, but I do feel my brain is definitely, like, I don't know if doing the things that I do in my life make me smarter or dumber. That's good. In a weird way. I'm like, I don't know what is deteriorating my brain

and what is expanding it. Right. Yeah, it's probably emphasizing certain things and you're getting smarter at those, but you can't be everything all the time. So some things are going by the wayside. Right, right. I love having but now one of my favorite conversations I had in recent memory there was a one of her interactions I had was there was a I was hanging out with these guys and one of

them is eating a sandwich and he took he took chips and he put it on the sandwich and then um the other guy was like oh the you're putting you're adding an extra crunch huh and we just laughed about this guy putting chips on his sandwich and i was like i don't know what it was like it was nothing but i was like dude i've been like having like intense conversations with people about all this shit that i'm so relieved to be be talking about the chips on this guy's sandwich. Right. No, I dig that. It makes me want to talk about chips.

What kind of chips? They're cheddar Pringles. Oh, he put cheddar on there. Cheddar Pringles? Yeah, cheddar Pringles. So did he already have cheese on the sandwich, or was the cheese coming from the Pringles? You know what's crazy?

I think it was a bagel, actually. And there was like a bagel sandwich, and he put chips on the. That sounds really good. I saw someone do that recently, and I was jealous. But I got a salad, so I was like, I can't do the same. Do you guys eat well? You guys seem like you're healthy. But I'm jonesing for a sandwich right now.

Okay. Did you get chips, Rachel? You did? Do I get chips? In the orders? I'm getting both. Oh, no. Well, I need to order it.

Oh, order some chips. Yeah, I will. We could put chips on the sandwich. Are you hungry? I'm a little hungry. If they have the ham and cheese croissant, I would love that. What do you guys all want? Wait, where is this?

Porto's. It's the best. Oh, it's Porto's. Wait a minute. Porto's is that bakery, right? Uh-huh. Wait a minute. Have you guys ever had the fucking coconut...

The Tres Leches cake? No. No, it's a coconut... It's like some coconut pastry. I haven't had it. I had it 10 years ago at Porto's. And you're still thinking about it? I think I think about every time it's what I see Los Angeles for and they're gonna be honest oh really yeah it's good dude

really mm-hmm Aaron do you know what you want Cuban that works great good Italian for me you a healthy guy too? No. What's your go-to? I'm a big candy guy. I went to a, I talked about this once, so I'll talk about it. I went to an Overeaters Anonymous meeting. Sure, you did? Yeah, I did.

It was actually awesome. Really? It was like, I wasn't going to share. I went with a friend who also has a thing. I wasn't going to share. I went with a friend who also has a thing. And the fact that I was like, okay, I'll go with my buddy. And everyone went around, and I wasn't going to share. But people were telling pretty gnarly stories.

And then my buddy shared, and then I shared. And I talked about how there's this bowl of candy at the office that I do my stream out of. And I'll see people go to the bowl and take one piece of candy. And I'm like, how do you do that, man? Like, when I go to this candy bowl, I'm like, I'm going to take, like, a shit ton of candy. And as I was telling this story, I saw everybody else in the circle, like, nod, like, look at me and nod. Just being like, I know exactly what you were talking about. Interesting. That's a great thing.

It was awesome. To have the room where, like, because you feel like you're alone in this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then when you were hearing them share, was it the same thing? You're like, I get that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've been there before. And everybody, it was a very, like, dude, it weirdly reminded me of a lot of the conversations

i have on my show because like everybody was very uh like everybody in the room was like there there was no shame it was everybody just very much uh being open are you are you uh do you believe in god oh so yeah because they talk about god and you know i've been thinking about um i've been thinking about that and people would say like through you know, I've been thinking about that. And people would say, like, through, you know, how God has helped them. And every time somebody would share and, like, talk about God in their share, I would, like, kind of sub in my own version of God. Yeah. fuck man this like uh kind of non-judgmental step above mortal vibe super suiting benevolent intelligence yeah yeah and i subbed that more i i i subbed that in for like what people were yeah and i i i've gone to program for sa for like sexual compulsion stuff

and i grew up cath but I have and I still have a tough time with like the conception of God part mine is normally the size of the universe just that I'm small and dumb and don't understand things but I've never felt more religious than I do at those meetings dude yeah cuz the love that everybody has for each other and we're all in these kind of like you know sad situations at times then there's people from all walks of life black white asian whatever male female rich poor it's everybody and but we're all together in this thing

and it's uh yeah it can be very sad sometimes like sometimes i have to take breaks because i just get too bummed yeah sure but there's moments that are especially when i was like real bad with my it was i had what you had where people were talking and i was like oh my with my shit. It was, I had what you had where people were talking, and I was like, oh my God, like this is where I belong. Right, right, right, right. I was talking to, after the meeting, I was like talking to this guy, and I said something like, I was just talking about the candy bowl thing, and I was like, yeah, I feel like I'm crazy sometimes. And the guy looked at me in the eyes, and he was like, you are crazy.

That's why you're here. And he was, he was, he was saying it like a very matter of fact way. He's like, yes, you are crazy. It's cool.

But you know, I don't know. Something about something about that spoke to me. Well, there's, there's something about that where I, I have a similar, I have like bad impulse control where it's like,

like I live with my girlfriend now and before that i would like i try to you know try to eat healthy so i just wouldn't put cookies wouldn't put chips in the house and i'm good now they're in the house and it's killing me yeah yeah there's gummy worms there i know i don't know what to do because i just eat all she's like what happened to the gummy worms i'm like i ate all of them they're right there same the gummy worms? I'm like, I ate all of them. They're right there. Same with the vape. I'm like trying to quit vaping for like two years. If it's there, you got to. If it's there, I got to do it. Dude, I had the, do you know what Feastables is?

No, but it sounds good. You're Mr. Beast, right? Yeah. He has these like candy bars and he has this like candy bar company and they reached out to me on Instagram and they were like, hey, we want to send you a big box of candy bars. And I ignored the DM for like two months because I'm like, I can't. And then I had a point where I was like, I'm going to respond to this. And I was like, yeah, here's my address.

You can send me the candy bars. And now there's, it used to be 30 candy bars just like sitting in my apartment. And I'm like, fuck bees well that's like your drug dealer being like hey man i'm just gonna give you coke for free like i just have an extra like eight ball would you mind holding on to this one can i can i it's okay if you want to talk about but yeah it was like a porn yeah it's mostly porn uh i'm actually i'm like i miss when it was like sex stuff because that sounded a lot more exciting to talk about but but no the main offending behavior is porn do you still watch porn yeah i struggle with it i go through i can go a couple months none and then i'll go through

like a couple weeks where it's like just watching way too much of it all right do you um uh because i'll do you ever do like you're on your computer and you're like, oh my God, there's like 50 tabs open. Oh yeah. Oh, I don't even notice that anymore. Really? Yeah. I'm just, I mean, I always have 50 tabs.

Do you know what gooning is? Oh, I think I do, but I can't, no, I've heard the phrase. It's like, um, there's these things called a goon cave. I learned, I learned about this. Um, uh, do you guys know who Kazumi is? Yes. There's these things called a goon cave. I learned about this. Do you guys know who Kazumi is? Yes. I learned about this from Kazumi.

There's these fucking, like, people called gooners who they make obsessive pornography, like, part of their lifestyle, where they have, like, monitors after monitors after monitors of very intense porn all playing at once in the gloom caves. Oh, interesting. So they've got multiple screens going and stuff like that? You know, I'm curious what you think about this. Because when I was at AVN, I was kind of talking to people about this kind of subject of like, is porn like bad for society and shit? And I got an answer back that I thought was from a lot of people that I thought was very interesting.

I don't know. From the performers themselves. Yeah, from the performers. Oh, I'm curious. That I thought was very interesting. And I don't know what to make of it, but they were like, and you can, this is not even a porn thing. You can apply it to, you can apply it to eating.

I guess you could apply it to a lot of things but they were like it's not the action itself it's not the watch it's not the watching of the porn but it's the shame you associate with it and that's what fucks up your life because like these gooners like the people who like um obsessively watch pornography a pet they're like they're they have no shame in it so like you know they go to their job they do their tasks they have their family they do all their stuff and then they go and they watch you know then they go then then they goon and they're like happy as can be I don't know I I've had that when i dabbled in only fans

content prior to my current girlfriend okay if i would j off to that yeah then i would feel shame because i spent like 40 bucks i i you know i used to think that the shame was the problem but i was actually when i was at my worst i was very transparent about what my issues were yeah and i talk about it on stage and i talk to friends about it I had no shame. I was trying to have no shame right and I thought if if I did that I'd Be okay, right, but there was still a psychic and physical toll to it So I don't I don't think that's the whole kit and caboodle at least not for me. And I think a little shame is probably Healthy spiritually and biologic I say group cuz like. Because I talk about eating crazy all the time. And I think it's made me deal with it better, but I don't think it's improved my habits.

No, it didn't. And sometimes I'm trying to be funny about it. And if I'm talking about it on stage or whatever, and people are laughing about it, in my head i'm like oh am i reinforcing this for myself and to your point of like maybe a little bit of shame i think a little shame is good yeah and i think some people have too much i think i was trying to pretend i had none but but it's always going to be there and i think also yeah when you get people to laugh at it you give yourself a reprieve where you go oh it's not

a problem because i made it palatable to other people. Right. But that's not really the point of the whole thing. The whole thing is your relationship to yourself. Exactly. And it was impacting that. But then I was wondering, too, like, it also seems like we're in, like, an era of, like, intense diagnosis on everything. Yeah. like intense diagnosis on everything and I wonder have we gone too far with that

where we're turning everything into a problem that needs to be solved and not letting ourselves just exist as kind of fallible people well you got to throw everything you get it throw it all on the table and decide for yourself that's right that's the hard part about adulting is picking and choosing and letting yourself be okay with some mistakes but also figuring out which ones needs right and also you're never going to be fucking perfect that's that's what i see a lot like what do you think about all these like like optimization culture like everyone like getting up and we've been talking about that lately and i don't know there's there i almost like

when i see these instagram dudes and they're like i I do this at four, I do this at five, I do this at six. And I know people who do that. Well, like Chad's very optimized, but he's not like, uh, he doesn't like proselytize and stuff like that.

I've eased back on it. I'll say this about those guys is like, um, obviously like, like waking up at 4am and drinking 10 of these and doing the sauna and like doing everything. If you do that every day, you probably enjoy doing it and it probably makes your life better. And when you're out there prophesying, you're probably trying to make a little bit of money with your course or whatever.

But you also, I am sure, believe in the benefits of doing those things. Yeah, you're right. It's more good than – yeah, for some reason, my psycho brain was like like is there like a spiritual malady in this world like is there is there a void we're trying to fill here i i think uh you know i i like if you're doing those things i think i'm over thinking it a bit though i think you're right it's like everyone's trying to feel i i think at everyone's core they're just trying to feel okay right they're trying to feel at peace and they're trying to feel like joy and they you know for for me with the optimization stuff that's that i thought that was my path to like feeling that joy because i'll be like this will make my brain function better this will make my career better and then i'll be like and then i'll be happy

because i'll be where i want to be where so I think in my case, I was like forcing it. I was like, I need to do breathing so I can fully function. But then he realized, for me at least, he realized it's just taking a step back and you're like, oh, I could just be okay with where I'm at. I don't need to force myself to, I don't need to force my brain to be at this like peak level see that's that's one of the toughest um push and pulls i think of like this in this kind of thing is um on one hand you want to just be able to be grateful for wherever you're at and whatever is happening to you in the

moment even if it's even if it's bad even if you're like you know i don't know in jail or naked yeah or something you want to just be like whatever i'm whatever i'm experiencing right now is a blessing you want to be on that level especially if good things are happening to you in your life you want to be grateful for it but on the other hand you i how a problem is like how do you be grateful but still motivate yourself to continue to continue to you know do shit because when you because when you get too grateful too great like too grateful like what the fuck does that i don't know if i've ever i've never met anyone i've never met anyone who's too i've met people who were too phony grateful all the time to the point where it's like obsequious but i think you're right like how could you be too grateful right but

but then it's like if you're i say i don't know which way to go because it's like well if you're if you are quote too grateful and then you get content you don't want to do anything does it even matter because at that because at that point you're so grateful every your life is awesome no matter what yeah so i don't know it's a good question because I was talking to my mom like yeah cuz it's like do you but I think I think I don't think you become so grateful to the point of apathy where you're like I'm not sure anything I think it's you become you become if you're enjoying your life you enjoy the journey and you like you accept what comes your way and you say yes to everything yeah um so i think that's it's not like this point where

you're so grateful you're just sitting on the couch and you're like you know what i mean i think it's like yeah no that makes a lot of like oh you're so great like i can see how gratefulness can actually motivate people to do shit yeah it's like it's like you're just like like i can see how gratefulness can actually motivate people to do yeah it's like it's like you're just like happy and you want to keep experiencing things like for example like being a comedian it's like it's like uh you know if you're for me if i'm like really happy with being a comedian i just want to perform more i just want to like act more i want to get on stage more and i don't think when i'm truly happy i don't think i've ever been like oh i never need to get on stage again right right so i think that yeah yeah maybe grateful makes you push harder and but yeah but from a better fuel source yeah because it's like if you're i know for me i get impatient and like i'll try to force things and it never is the outcome you want when

you just force john henry baby i like it though just keep hacking bro john henry i think he was the guy who uh like was the he's a like myth what are those things called folk tale and he was the one who went against the machine and they hammered oh shit i remember yeah there was like a and i think he dies at the end he does awesome self beating the machine and we need him more than ever now because of AI. But yeah. Dude. Oh. But you know what I was going to say?

There is a... You guys seen that thing where it's like a billionaire works all of his life so he can have a coconut on the beach on some deserted island. But there's some like native guy there who gets to do the same thing. Yeah. And he didn't bust his ass and like ruin lives and waste time trying to accrue all this stuff to get there. And I'm like, that don't make no sense at all. Because the billionaire can leave whenever he wants.

Sure. And also, he has way better teeth, probably. Dude, yeah. Veneers. Like, look at their smiles on the beach. Dude, yeah. I don't know, man. Do you guys get stressed out about stuff?

Oh, yeah, all the time. I love it. You love it? I think so, yeah. That's fascinating. How do I do that? Because I think for one thing, you chose this. No one puts you up to this. You wanted this.

Yes. And there's forces now probably because you got the thing rolling that are pushing you to do more. Sure, I got to buy groceries and shit. Yeah, and then i think the other thing is like i think that the pain for me comes around like i got all this anxious energy and i'm like oh push it down push it down push it down i'm like just what if you took your hands off of it and let yourself be a stressed out psycho for a day and and just uh like maybe it's maybe it's not stress maybe it's life maybe it's life coming out of you that's in uh uh gangs in new york where uh leonardo caprio's character like

yells at daniel day lewis and he's like oh you got a fire in you it's good amsterdam that's life boiling up inside so is that like tying into the the shame? Like if you said just let yourself be a stressed psycho, like is that getting rid of the shame of it? Getting rid of the shame of being a stressed psycho? Yeah. Yeah, I think so. That makes sense. Don't be hard on yourself.

You're doing it, dude. That makes sense. Yeah, it's like being happy with the challenges that come with life. I remember during COVID, I fucked up my taxes big time. And she's like, you didn't hear about payroll? And I was like, no. And I was fucked. Like, big time fucked. But I had this weird kind of, like, joy came over me about it.

I'm like, wow, I'm having financial issues. Like, that's kind of cool. Yeah. You know? Yeah. That's going to be a cool story. Yeah. Dude, one of the fucking coolest things I ever heard was, like, taxes.

Yeah. Like, everything has taxes there's like like life just has taxes yeah sometimes the taxes of life are taxes but like you know you having to pay a bunch of taxes or like fucking up tax it's a sign like oh you know you you made money right yeah like you know if a relationship is uh going like you're having problems with it it's like oh you have people around you to have problems with right yeah yeah exactly no i i had a fan reach out to me say hey can we get lunch i'm like suicidal i was like yeah let's do it wait really yeah guy the guy nice kid kind of kind of he might even be hearing this he's a little dorky

and then we get lunch and he's like he's like dude i'm like suicide i'm like why he's like he's like i work in like this cool industry and i was dating this like model girl and she like left me for a rapper i was like bro you are living the dream man these are the ideal problems to be having like you're you're way out there doing things that most people never experience i'm like i i get that you're sad and the heartbreak is real, but listen to what you're saying out loud. Dude, that's awesome that you did that. Do you do that often? Not often, but I did it that time. But I was like, dude, these are what you're talking about.

I'm like, this heartbreak is a great sign of the things you get to experience. Any negative feeling is a sign that you are alive. See, back to what I was talking about at the very beginning of this, it's like I'm on this fucking podcast right now talking about all this stuff and I'm in my car on the way home. I'm going to get pissed off about something. I'm going to be ashamed of what I talked

about on this podcast. I'm going to be ashamed of what I'm talking about on this podcast too. That's coming, dude. That's coming. I'm going to have a hangover from this. I'm going to be like, who do you think you are proselytizing about life? Yes, I do that all the time. You don't know a shit, spoiled bitch. All the time. You know who cares that?

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all right good that's good should we do some questions yeah so we get listeners questions do you mind uh from your gecko pond into ours and helping our listeners out of course you're probably the most bona fide question answer we've ever had on the pod sure sure i'll try my best guys i'm interrupting this podcast let you know once again that we are on tour we have columbus tonight cincinnati tomorrow we have a whole bunch of new dates that just dropped chad and jt.com is where you get tickets uh we're going to fort wayne next we have a bunch of new dates that just dropped up until next December. Get your tickets right now. These shows are epic and you're going to love them. We promise you that. We're

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main squeeze all right back to the show let's see how stupid this looks a lot actually this kind of makes it looks pretty funny that's hilarious my hair looks terrible uh okay i'm gonna read off the topics and then you guys let me know what you want right yes sir can't handle the sun getting ready for summer Hawaiian surf culture ish you guys really have a certain type of fan. Yeah, they're all hot bros Dude, they are I guess I must pursue it. Yeah Yeah, you come to our show. It's like a J crew ad it's insane yeah is this gay even with a girl question for lyle coffee trailer dot dot dot coffee trailer there's more hold on i i think we already got some goodies though i would i think hawaiian culture ish is this gay with a girl and then the lyle specific

one where the sure sure sure top three What happened to the Lyle one? Where'd it go? Hawaiian. What's the Hawaiian one? Hawaiian surf culture. Ish. Hawaiian surf. What's an ish? Issue. Oh. And Hawaiian. Yo, Chad and JC. Let's hear it. Are you guys ready?

Yeah, brother. Yo, Chad and JC. What's up, dudes? This is ready? Yeah, brother, yeah. Yo, Chad and JC. What's up, dudes? This is Ryan Blakey calling from New Jersey. I'm calling for your insight on a recent interaction I had on vacation in Hawaii. I was out surfing at Rocky Point in Oahu. I wanted to integrate with the locals, so I piled up to them in the lineup,

and I was like, aloha, dude. They were like, fuck off, Howdy Boy. So I was like, whoa, I come in peace. Mahalo to your people. Now, I was told that was a term of endearment in their culture, but I must have used it out of context because they told me if I didn't get out of the water, they were going to beat the shit out of me. Anyways, that was my last time surfing Rocky Point. So I guess my question to you bros is, how do you navigate surfing at a new break on vacation without getting your life threatened huge fan of the pod and look forward to your input mahalo okay so i get people ask me all the time they're like are the people that call into your show fake are they just doing bits and i'm like why do people

even think that of course but now i'm like is that guy doing a bit? Yeah. The voice? Yeah. Do the whole thing. Even like the tone of every Oh am I ruining his bit? No it's good because I was going to pretend that he was being real. No no but I think you did the right thing and you called him out right away.

I think they're just like oh I get to do a Chad and JT bit to Chad and JT and it's a little unfair of me to say i don't like that no i'm not but i don't i don't i'm not saying i'm not saying it's bad i think i was yeah it's not bad but i'm with you i'm with you okay yeah i want i'm like give me this well i know in my head in my head i was like and i because i take things at face value and i was like you guys have cultivated. Here's the thing.

A sincere, the sincere version of this guy exists, but he's never been on the internet before. Right. No, he's not listening to podcasts. No, he's out in, he's, you know. He's getting his ass kicked right now. Exactly. And he's not calling a podcast. He's calling an ambulance.

So I, and do you, I feel like I fucked the whole thing up. No, you did a great job. I called it out. the guy dropped the ball when he said he's from new jersey so he so none of this you know would be hilarious if we meet him one day and he is actually that i would love that i hope i hope that's the case too fingers crossed but i'm with you my antenna went up and i was like ah bro you're pitching you're pitching bits. Come on. It was a good start, though. It's a funny bit. It was funny. They're always well done and you're good.

He's a good performer. So, all right, what's his thing is that he went up to like, he was in Hawaii. He's in Hawaii. He went to Rocky Point, which is one of the most popular surf breaks on the North Shore. And he came in all hot with the locals and tried to use hawaiian vernacular you know he said mahalo he said what's up dudes he came in way too hot yeah and he probably came in with a lot of ego i made a right size him i i i got some legit advice on this and it's something i've picked up from chad is that sometimes in black rooms, white comics will bomb because they tried to appeal to the black audience or

be like a self-aware white guy and be like, Oh, white people were the worst and like stuff like that. And it comes across as not you being yourself. Right. Chad always crushes cause he comes in all Malibu breeze on it and is like peak white and doesn't have any like shame in his game about it yeah and then they love it because because it's it's unapologetic and it's not catered to who he's

talking to thank you it's yeah yeah just kind of like i like that being just unapologetically yourself instead of trying to like a fucking pander yeah yeah which because those hawaiians know that he's doing a bit and he kind of did the same thing to us he did do the same thing to the hawaiian yes so the problem is in the question yeah you need to call back in your jersey actually because if i find out this guy actually talking hey what's up dudes i made a huge mistake like i was in i was in hawaii and i said mahalo i thought it'd be fun yeah they didn't take it that way and now me and the boys you know we're grouped up and when there might be a thing later today outside the waste management facility then i'd be like all

right cool cool cool dude i love it if he paddled out to rocky point he's like just can't handle the boss you know what i mean they'd be like yeah i do know what you mean that's right right right he's like paperwork and all that shit yeah he's going out there's like aren't pineapples delicious and aren't we the worst i'm like dude that's not the energy though at all aren't we the worst like us mainlanders it's like nah dude just be it okay i feel better about calling out the bit now because i feel that we still we gave him legitimate we did the whole thing we did the whole thing we covered it all i like that. Is this gay even with a girl? The answer is no. Yeah, so my name's Barry.

I just had a question. So am I gay if I like my girlfriend to pull my hard dick between my legs and fuck me from behind? My cousin says I'm gay and so is my other friend. Oh, that's cool. That's really cool. That's really cool. That's really cool. His girlfriend takes his dick, pulls it behind his legs, and then she fucks him

with her vagina. She fucks him doggy. She fucks him doggy. No, that's cool. That's really cool. That video doesn't really turn me on. Really? It doesn't sound like it's possible. I'd like to get dominated. Really? Well, dude, and like, you get to relax a little bit, and it's a unique

experience. Like, you never, I hope you're doing it in front of a mirror so you can see what it looks like. Yeah, yeah. And then she pulls your hair. Oh, wait, wait, it's reverse doggy. It's reverse doggy. So, yeah, you're thinking Amazon. Yeah. Where it's mesh. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Which I've seen before as well.

But this is like next level. Oh, okay. Have you ever like when you're in your bath, like kind of gotten down on all fours and like put your ass up a little bit and like imagine what it would be like to be fucked in the ass? I haven't, but I'll try it later today.

Yeah. Because I got a wide open dance card late afternoon. So after me and my pregnant girlfriend go to the OB-gyn to do the sonogram i'll come home do that and i'll get doggy and i'll throw my dick between my legs just to see if i got the the reach i love that uh you know people have been having sex forever and i've we're still uh developing the meta that's incredible i put a sharpie up there one time in high school really yeah see what it's like i like signed your own ass. I like that lingo. Now people are gonna start asking you to do that to them at shows. What's up? So people are gonna start asking you to do that to

them at the meet and greets. Can you sign the inside of my asshole? Oh dude, hey. I've got good penmanship. Dude, yeah. So I like that phrase you used, developing the meta. Yeah. Is that like a Call of Duty thing? Like we're still putting the kit together to get the ideal gun? I got it from, I play competitive Super Smash Brothers. And it's a video game, I play Melee. And Melee's been around since 2001. But as recently as last year, they're still developing the meta. They're still finding new things to do.

Isn't that amazing? The craft is always expanding. Yeah, and that's how I feel about this guy's girlfriend who she's developing the meta by fucking him in the ass. Wow Pulling his penis. No, not not gay in the least. No, not gay at all. Not even yeah in the vicinity of gay I never understood that words that you're doing something with your girlfriend. Is it gay? I'm like no It doesn't match the criteria for gay at all to be gay It's got to be two people of the same sex. I, well, okay, well, do you, would you consider, would you consider, like, I think what he means

by this is, this is actually a very progressive question question because sexuality is a spectrum, right? And I'm going to say that this is, I wouldn't call this gay, but on the spectrum, it would be somewhere. At most performatively gay. But that's, see, it's getting into not the hard like facts of gay gay but like masculinity femininity kind of gay and to me that doesn't it just doesn't cut ice yeah yeah it's like guys who want to be gay but aren't gay i wouldn't know anything about that i but do you want it you want to be gay okay no i think i think there's something about like where you have this this masculinity that's built into you that you think you have to live up to and then so sex is all about going the other way sometimes

and hitting the taboo button. So if you feel like you have to be masking all the time, I understand the compulsion to want to be the opposite because it's vulnerable and it feels wrong to you. It's like Oscar De La Hoya would dress like a girl during sex because he's a boxer. I once, in college, I switched my Tinder from straight to gay. And I meet, and I i uh you guys ever do

you guys ever use tinder or sure yeah well you guys are tinder as a straight guy is hard but then i 90 dudes on there but so i flipped it to gay and i mute i started getting like a ton of matches wow yeah from like really cute guys and that boosted your confidence and it boosted my confidence but then I'm like, you're like George Clooney. But I'm not gay. So there was no... Mark Norman has a great bit where he's like,

it's like getting like a million dollars in pesos or something like that. I can't spend this year. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's funny. Funny. Well, I'm going to try this.

Whatever this guy's... Yeah, we'll text about it afterwards and see how we all feel. Last, we got a question for Lyle. I'm for this one what up stokers um super stoked to be asking uh the gecko a question here's my question i work in a coffee trailer on the side of the road. We make specialty lattes and stuff like that. I'm a 23-year-old man, self-proclaimed artist. I work as a barista in a coffee trailer on the side of the road. Obviously, my social life isn't doing too well. I spend most of my days in a trailer. Anyway, my question is, what is one to do when there's, like, just beautiful women always pulling up to this trailer? Because, like, you know, it's a specialty latte trailer, and it's local and, you know, small business.

So a lot of people like pulling up just to say that they're supporting you know small local businesses and um so i see all these beautiful women and but like uh i what what should i do like do i flirt with them i'm just at a loss here so uh any advice Would be greatly appreciated Yeah maybe give him coffee But maybe throw him all rhythm dude See how that goes What do you guys think of this first

There's no problem I just need a clarity So he in the trailer serving coffee He sees beautiful women he doesn't know how to talk to them I think so First of all I think this guy is too down on himself like when he said when he said obviously i have no social life why that's not obvious he sounds like a perfectly normal person he's got high expectations for himself that's probably what it is he thinks he should be somewhere he's not would be grateful

for where you're at and i think he feels like i think guys we have this where like if a pretty girl like is in our vicinity and we don't talk to her we feel like we were like making a mistake like if we were a real man right we'd hit on her right even though you shouldn't right you're just getting coffee right and like but there is that thing especially when you're young where you're like i'm such a pussy like i didn't hit on that hot chick and it's like well being a man isn't hitting on every hot chick he's but he's right you gotta get over there but he's nervous to pull the trigger at all so he's blaming himself every time he doesn't yeah yeah no you're right that that totally does exist of like you know feeling like you have to like rizz up every like pretty girl you see which is not like on plane if you sit next to a pretty girl and you do a five

hour flight and you don't say a word to her you get off and you're like i'm such a bitch man what do they know it's like you can't be but first of all it's like i mean like girls don't want to be hit on by the guy that i actually heard something on a podcast i'm gonna try to rephrase it because i remember when i heard it it really like was very applicable to this thing that guys have which is like this guy told the story of like how he um was hitting on some there was some girl in his yoga class or something and he like asked her out on a date and the girl was like why do you want to go on a date with me and the guy and the guy's telling the story and he's like well because i just i think you're really pretty and i want to take you out and she's and the girl's like well why don't you just bless me and i and i was and he

was like what are you talking about it's like well why do you have to why do you have to like just because you think i'm pretty you want to like take me on a date why don't you just bless me and be out of my way and i was like whoa i've never heard of that before yeah i think with this guy it's like why doesn't he just embrace being the coolest barista ever right he's too right where it's like

he's he could wear like the beanie wear like the beads or whatever the fuck she comes out and he's like Americano

you know just be cool and love serving coffee yeah yeah be the best coffee guy that all those

women trust to come get their coffee from yeah when they're like have you seen Carl like with the coffee he's like the coolest guy ever and you're like, have you seen Carl with the coffees?

He's like the coolest guy ever. And you're like, yeah, you want a Buble CD or something? Whoa, throwing in the Buble, dude. Yeah, dude, he's just tossing out Bubles. Yeah, this guy, well, this guy, I think he's too focused on the external things of like, I need to be talking to all these people

when he could be going inwards and being like, how do I just be a cool coffee guy? And he's living the dream. He's serving coffee in a trailer. This guy thinks he's a loser. Yeah. And he's not. He's living the dream.

No, he's a normal person. It's sick. I'd be out there. I'd be like, you want whipped cream with that? Yeah. I'd put my name in the fucking phone. Yeah. It'd be sick.

Have some fun. Yeah. Have fun. Don't be so hard on yourself what's this guy's name did we get his name uh i like carl yeah he's a carl carl i do you know that's true too like why don't you just bless me i remember one time i was i was working a job and me and one of the gals i worked with were uh outside a house we were like uh doing lockup for a film shoot and this like older black dude he was like 75 was walking by in a cane and he was dressed

up and you could tell it was like his daily stroll and when he walked by the gala I was working with he just said he like tipped his hat very old-school chivalrous and said yeah like my my you're the prettiest lady I've seen all day but he just kept walking yeah he didn't have any expectation on it he just wanted to give a blessing and like I was like oh yeah because not all like cat callings created equal like if you're bullying a girl being like what's up sweet ass like that's not meant to give a blessing that's meant to like put them in an uncomfortable state or if you hit on someone you expect them to go out with you afterward or right if you compliment someone expect them to go out with you afterwards

that's not paying a compliment either but this guy just was like you're pretty and then he just kept it moving and And she liked it. The gals liked it. Carl, I think if you get anything from this, it's that you should buy a fedora. Yeah, you don't have that outfit. And tip it at every girl that you see. Yeah, just keep it moving. Just spread that positivity.

Right, right, right, right, right. I love that. I don't know why this guy hates himself. No. He's living the dream. He's living the dream. Enjoy it. All right.

Should we do beefs, babes, and legends? We're almost out of here. What is beefs, babes, and legends? So you're going to have a beef of the week, something you're upset about, and then a babe of the week, and a legend of the week. So it's almost like on that thing of anger versus gratitude. We start off with the anger, and then we double up on the gratitude. Beef, babe, legend.

Okay. And you'll go last, so hopefully you pick up on it as we go. Okay. I'll try. Chad, what's your beef of the week? Dude, I couldn't come up with a beef of the week, so I'm going to go with corned beef hash. Nice. Dude, you get breakfast, you get some corned beef hash.

He's more confused now about what beef of the week. Okay, beef of the week is like an issue. Issue, yeah. I'll come up with a beef of the week. My beef is with, you know, the things that go into a car like brake fluid and shit. You know, you take your car to get service and they're like, you need your brake fluid. Your windshield wipers are screwed. And you're like, how many parts are there to a car?

They're like, how about your radiator tank is just not even boiling and i'm like how much is that going to cost three thousand dollars all right yeah why do cars like we've been with these things for like 130 years yeah why do they still need like nine different fluids to operate like shouldn't the engine just work by itself as like a as like a solid block. Yeah, I guess my issues with scientists for not figuring out cold fusion. It's like, why do you still make shit that depreciates? Why don't you get on off your ass

and science this shit up? It's good, dude. It's righteous, bro. I'm trying to think of a beef. Dude, my beef of the week is with we talked about it. My beef of the week is with, we talked about it. My beef of the week is that people are dumb, but on top of being dumb, they're mean. What's up, dude?

It's one or the other. Because if you're going to be dumb, you got to be nice and loving. And people aren't understanding that they're dumb, but let me give you a hint. If you're alive in this present moment in history, you're dumb. And it's not our fault. The world caters to our stupidity. It's made us all dumb.

I'm top of the heap. And then, and I can be mean sometimes too. So you know what? Fuck me too. But let's, it's okay. We're all dumb, but let's be more chill. Oh man. Who's your beef of the week?

My beef is with... Wait, can we... Circle back? Can you guys do the babe? Yeah, dude. You could do them all in a row, bro. No one's ever done that. All right.

Chad, who's your babe of the week? My babe of the week is sourdough bread. So good, dude. No gluten, dude? Dude, no gluten. You go to freaking San Francisco, and they're like, let me get that teddy bear in sourdough. And then you just eat it all in one. If I get a thing of sourdough, I'm eating the whole thing.

What's the teddy bear? They just shape it like a teddy bear. Fuck. Yeah, so it's cute as hell. I have my beef. Yeah, yeah. Beef, dude. Oh, you already did already did your art did you try I'll do my beef is with my beef is with the cake pops that they sell at Starbucks five dollars one bite of cake they're five dollars they're five dollars to me especially the unicorn ones yeah I'm an expert on them because

i buy them all the time but they look really appetizing when they're in that glass case and they got the three of them in a row they're so good but it's i i don't i in general hate starbucks because they'll sell you the tiniest little sandwich for like six dollars yeah i feel like they got a lot of oils in their food too yeah yeah i can't like speak to it exactly but every time i eat one of their egg sandwiches i'm like there's extra in here don't you just don't feel like bread egg and bacon feel like they got some stuff right don't you just want to play dodgeball with howard schultz sometimes and just bonk him on the head who's howard schultz owner of starbucks ah you see you're like hey

how about this for ice cold cold latte? Just doink. I like the pumpkin spice. Putting all CEOs in a game of dodgeball and having them get wrecked would probably be healthy. Especially during the writer's strike. It would right size their egos a bit and let them know that they're just like us. Yeah. Getting hit by rubber balls and that. Hey, are you guys, you know, I'll tell you something about the writer's strike. I'm afraid of what it's

going to do to Laffy Taffy production. Explain. You know, they write jokes on the back on the Laffy Taffy. I didn't know that. I was like, maybe

they're making a full movie out of that with Chris Pratt or something. Maybe I know too much about candy for that. No, i love it dude you got your wheelhouse baby play yeah yeah who's writing those jokes writing those jokes it's you know it's gonna it'll affect the fuck what's you guys know those popsicles where they

write little jokes yeah i don't know but go oh there's no like those there's popsicles where you eat the whole popsicle and there's a joke on the stick. I forget what those names are. Yeah. Well, you're never going to know them again. Snapple facts? Snapple facts. Those aren't really... Well, they're facts, so nobody had to come up with them. They just already existed and people discovered them. Yeah.

Where does Snapple... What candy does Snapple facts go to to get their facts? What candy does Snapple facts go to to get their facts? Or they just pop an open in an almanac. They go they go to they do they eat little encyclopedia gummies thank you thank you appreciate you uh babe who you do you do your bit oh my babe of the week is tupac shakur just watched his documentary on hulu i don't know dude in terms of artistic authenticity i go him and Richard Pryor top of the heap feels like they were being real every time they talked even when they were on mic and they would swerve radically from like one kind of person to another but they both felt full and real and and an

interesting artistically I just uh what i want to say about tupac and the other thing i love about both those guys is they never preach to the choir like they would so like tupac's course mom was a black panther and she raised him to be like um you know like a revolutionary basically until like fight for injustice but then when he would get in a room with old black panthers he would chastise them for not being in the fight with the younger generation like you think he could go in there and just get celebrated and like bow the head and just like be deferential but no he was like no you guys need to hear this too like even his home crowds he would challenge them on whatever they were missing and i really respect that like he just had to call people out but he called himself

out too. And I don't know. I just love the guy. I just love watching him. Even when he's in the booth, like rapping, it's like full-bodied. He's giving it everything he's got. And it felt like both those guys, him and Pryor, they just gave everything they had every time.

They emptied the tank. Are you a big rap fan? Yeah, like moderate. Yeah. Who's your favorite rapper of all time? Oh, good question. I'd probably go my top three. I mean, mine's all chalk, but my top three would probably be Kanye, Biggie,

and then who's in the three hole? That one moves around a little bit. Ja Rule. I had to go with someone off the beaten path a little bit. I like that. I like that. But I feel bad for Ja Rule that he let 50 punk him out of the rest of his music career. Is that, what is that?

Like 50 was like, you're a bitch. And then Ja Rule like. 50 Cent, right? Yeah. And then Ja Rule was like, all right, I'm done. He tried to fight back for a while, but I feel like 50 kind of. Is 50 Cent, is he still in the zeitgeist? Yeah. But not for music.

He's just hilarious. Dude, I was just laughing about him. Do you remember Super Bowl when he, like, that performance two years ago? And he, like, lowers down from this bar upside down, and he's, like, huge. Everyone's, like, 50 Cent turned into full dollar. Have you seen the 50 video where he challenges floyd mayweather to read oh oh yeah yeah so him and floyd used to be buddies and then they had beef and is it fake beef though no i think it was real i think they really were upset at each other and 50 goes

he he he says some things i can't say and then he goes i'll give you a million dollars if you can go on tv and read the first five pages of Harry Potter remember the Aziz Ansari bit about 50 cent where he didn't know what a grapefruit oh yeah it's the most I know about 50 cent is that Aziz Ansari i don't think i like the name i forgot about that thing uh oh my i have a babe it's the um the guy working the drive-thru at two in the morning at the jack in the box at venice and overland not to dox him this is good but i asked him for a water cup and normally um when people give out the water cups like they give you like the shitty ones the little tiny clear ones

and I asked him I was like hey man could I get could you get a large one of the water cups and he thought about it for a second and he gave me a large he gave me a large cup of water I know that jack in the box too yeah dude it's a great jack in the box

I highly recommend it I give it a Give me a large cup of water. I know that Jack in the Box, too. Yeah, dude. It's a great Jack in the Box. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I highly recommend it. I give it a... If I gave Yelp reviews, I'd give it a five. Dude, there's been a running theme throughout the podcast, this tremendous amount of empathy that you have or compassion for the drive-thru lot. Oh, yeah. Well, I go there a lot, and the people there always look...

A little beaten down. Yeah, they look beaten down. And I have a tremendous respect for anyone who is in that situation that has an upbeat attitude. Because if you're working the drive-thru at Jack's... First of all, there's got to be a lot of insanity rolling through there at that time of night. And to withstand that and have a cheerful attitude this is an admirable thing that's nice what is the difference between a babe and a legend no difference there's no difference yeah there was at first and then we just started we just crossed the streams on it it's just for

us it's like we do one beef but then we don't want you guys said babe i thought it was gonna be like a girl you thought was hot or something that's how how it started. And then we were like, I don't know if I want to do that forever. Sure. And then so one day I made a beef, like a power lifting dude. Because dudes can be babes and gals can be legends. And from there. So you should do, the babe has to be a guy and the legend can be. But I don't want to be fixed into that.

Sure. Yeah. Like what about sandwiches? Oh, wait. So it doesn't have to be a person nah dude oh all right now i got now i gotta think of my legend that segues nicely into my legend because mine's an italian sub dude fucking love italian subs yeah i love pepperoncinis i love salami i love mortadella provolone do you get do you like do you ever get sides with your sub you ever get like

fries or anything i i like to get salt and vinegar chips kettle cooked yeah nice um i like macaroni salad but not really with my sandwich i just like macaroni salad separate that's what it is yeah it's gotta go with chips yeah it's gotta go with chips. Diet Coke, I'm a big Diet Coke guy. I'll dabble in Coke Zero. Shout out Aaron. What up? You know what macaroni salad is the best for? It's just having a tub of it in your fridge that you go to once every couple hours. And you want a snack.

And you scoop out two big bites. Yeah. And you use the big spoon. And you get like a fat mound on there. Yeah. I have a legend. Oh wait, you should go first. My legend of the week, it's a huge right turn from Chad's English muffin with cream cheese Wow

whoa I've never even tried that it's delicious Wow you put it in the toaster comes out brown on the ends I even like a little bit of char cream cheese raspberry char strawberries good to raspberry jelly I don't know you put you boys in very jelly cheese and the jelly on there. Yeah. That's nice, man. It's real good. All right, legend.

Individual bags of Cheez-Its. Dude. Whoa. Let me tell you why. Let me tell you why. What's everyone's biggest complaint with bags of chips? False advertising. Right?

You open the bag, and only a fourth of it is actually filled with chips. Right. Cheez-Its. Puts fucking Cheez-Its in those bags. Wow. right you open the bag and like only a fourth of it is actually filled with chips cheese it's puts fucking cheese it's in those bags wow you notice the next time next time you open a bag of cheeses you like really notice that the bag is filled with cheeses that's good to know that's integrity that's integrity that's epic when did you discover this oh man i've always known When did you discover this? Oh, man. I've always known. I don't know.

It's always known. Jesus. I discovered that. I think this was what made me have to go to OA is that I was thinking too heavily about these things. But it's given us a lot of gifts today. It's true. It's not all bad. No, I was just joking.

I'm like that with porn knowledge, where I know way too much about porn. Who's your favorite porn star? See, I don't even like to say. I don't know why. I guess I have shame over it. I always pick a dude. I always pick a dude, because I don't know.

I guess I don't want to objectify the ladies, even though I watch them. Well, the porn stars I've met, they take pride in their you know who i met it i got a girlfriend too i guess it's just weird to me to talk about another gal you know i met at av this is the most starstruck i've ever been in my career i met lisa ann at avianne she's a legend she's a fucking legend that was the first time i like normally like um you know i'm very much like oh this you just like any time if I've met somebody who really has an impact on me, I'm like, oh, they're just a person.

But Lisa Ann, I did the thing where I was like, you're Lisa Ann. Do you think she gets that more than any other celebrity in America? Like sincere, kind of awestruck attitude from people? I, maybe. I mean, she's been, I mean, dude, she's been, I was, that was like one of the first. She raised a generation. I watched when I was like 13 or something. Like she did, she raised a generation.

And I think she, I think she knows. I think she does too. She carries a will. All right. Should we do a quote of the week and then call it? Yeah. A quote of the week. Yeah.

I'm sorry, man. I don't have a quote. Oh, let me think. You know what? All right. Let me, a quote of the week and then call it? Yeah, I'm sorry, man. I don't have a quote. Oh, let me think. You know what? All right. I don't have my phone. Let me think of a quote of the week. I think I got one.

I could go. Okay, I got one. I could go. I'm going to go from Hot Rod, Will Arnett. Going to grab a vitamin water. rod. Uh, Will Arnett. Uh, gonna grab a vitamin water. Should I make that dose? No, I'm good. Alright. Hey, maybe I'll grab a box of

dong bags. We can knock boots later. What do you think? Ha ha ha ha had one and you i'll let you go first all right let me see if i got why that just a great quote. You think that's just healthy for people to know? I just think everyone should know fingers can't be choosers. It's easier to apologize than ask permission.

That's my other story. I don't know why this one stuck out to me. It's very like just standard issues, something you'd see on Instagram and take a photo of. The road to happiness lies in two simple principles. Find what it is that interests you and that you can do well. And when you find it, put your whole soul into every bit of energy and ambition and natural ability you have. I like that.

John D. Rockefeller. I don't know.'s a guy he's a guy he made the peer he made I was about to say I made the pyramids he made the ice rink oh yeah what were they were standard oil right yeah and then they they got broken up which were probably I think we're in the second gilded age we need to start breaking this stuff up i'm taking a stand uh i'll do there's no coincidence fuck i think take your time i think it's something like there's there's no coincidences in the universe or something i did in one of my live shows a guy uh came on stage and talked about like um a crazy man with a hatchet that he met on the side of the road who started helping him do magic tricks for

strangers and that's something that that guy told him that wasn't wait that's how i reacted when he give me the lay of the land again what happened um? All right. This guy, he used to do street magic, the guy who came on stage. And he met this dude on the street who he enlisted to help him be his assistant for the street magic. Amazing. And then found out that this guy, you know, likes to kill people with a hatchet. I don't know if he kills people, but. He's not checking. I don't know what else you're going to hatchet for.

That's an amazing story. So you're meeting such a colorful cast of characters. You know, it's crazy. Some people are just like, yeah, I'm just hanging out on the couch, not doing anything. What's up with you? And some people are like, yeah, I met an axe murderer guy who I did magic with. And I'm like, I'm here for all of it yeah the world needs both exactly it does dude thank you so much for joining us thank you guys for having me man pleasure man you two are

awesome guys dude you're the man that's so fun yeah and uh if you want to plug anything too with the audience know where they can find you i'm on tour right now. You can get tickets by going to therapygeckotour.com. I just put out tickets for Australia. I'm going down there. That's cool. I'm going to Europe soon. I'm doing the east coast of the U.S. You're going back to the motherland.

I'm going back to the motherland. Baltimore, Maryland, baby. No, Australia. Oh, Australia. Yeah, I can hang out with all my other lizards. I do a podcast. It's called Therapy Gecko. You can find it with all my other lizards. I do a podcast. It's called Therapy Gecko. You can find it on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and Stitcher,

and other places where they do podcasts. And send me a DM on Instagram with a picture of your favorite cereal. Thanks. Hell yeah. All right. Late. That was so fun. Thanks, man.

That was a lot of fun. Thank you, guys. Yeah, yeah. Thank you.