Going Deep with Chad and JT - EP 305 - Dan Soder

Episode Date: August 23, 2023

Today we are joined by the LEGEND Dan Soder! An amazing comic and now friend! We dive deep into the sports world. From Professional Wrestling to 2000's college sports, Dan is a walking encyclopedia. We also talk about comedy festivals and why the comradery is so strong. We take listeners Q's and of course end it with Beefs/babes/legends/quotes.  Find out more about Dan Soder Here: https://www.dansoder.com/ (tour tickets!) Come see us on Tour!Tickets on http://www.chadandjt.com Call us, leave a 60 sec voicemail with your issue or question: 323-418-2019or write in to chadgoesdeeppodccast(at)gmail.com(Start with where you're from and name for best possible advice) Check out the reddit for some dank convo: https://www.reddit.com/r/ChadGoesDeep/ Episode Sponsered by:Helix Sleep: 25% off  all mattress orders +2 free pillows  https://www.helixsleep.com/godeep  Code HELIXPARTNER25 Liquid IV: 20% off  Anything you orderhttps://www.liquidiv.com Code godeep Check Out One Quiet Mind: https://www.onequietmind.com/

Stokers! Welcome to the podcast. Guys, we have the one and only, the legendary Dan Soder on the pod. We are so stoked to have this guy. Hilarious comic. If you haven't seen his stand-up or any of his podcasts or anything, check him out. Go check him out on tour.

He's going to be in a town near you. Dan Soder, everyone. Very stoked to have him on. He is a freaking legend, so we're very honored. We also have our own tour dates guys we'll be in irvine september 28th then we're gonna be in san jose we're gonna be in chico we're gonna be in montana we're gonna be in freaking nashville again uh minneapolis detroit uh and denver we got a lot of dates coming up and new york one too so keep your

eyes peeled for that we can't announce it yet but we do have a new york date coming up we are also brought to you by the legends at liquid ivy guys liquid ivy is the number one powered hydration brand in america now available in sugar-free i drink liquid iv literally three times a day if i do hot yoga if i'm hungover i pop in a liquid iv get that hydration it doubles my hydration in seconds grab your liquid iv hydration multiplier sugar-free in bulk nationwide at costco or get 20 off when you go liquid iv.com and use code go deep at checkout that's 20 off anything you order and use when you use promo code go deep at liquid iv. 20 off anything you order and use when you use promo code go deep at liquid iv.com can't recommend them enough they're freaking legends we're also

brought to you by the best sleep dudes in the biz helix sleep what up thank you helix for sponsoring the pod thank you for the mattress you gave me because it's giving me the best sleep ever my girlfriend shares the bed with me and she was like, I don't know, am I going to be able to sleep on your mattress? I'm like, wait till you try the mattress. It was a Helix. She was sold. And I want you to have that same experience. Helix is offering 25% off all mattress orders and two free pillows for listeners in honor of Labor Day. Go to helixsleep.com slash go deep and use code helixpartner25. That's helixpartner25. This is their best offer yet, and it won't last long.

With Helix, better sleep starts now. Lastly, I want to give a shout out to A Quiet Mind. A weighted pillow. Guys, check this out. My buddy Mikey invented these, and it is so calming for anxiety. If you ever try a weighted blanket, try the weighted pillow. You can hug it and literally you put it on you and your body starts to tingle. Can't recommend them enough. Check out A Quiet Mind. And that's it. Let's it let's start the show well it's uh freaking slap the salami on my ass and call me george what's going on stokers of stoke nation this is chad kroger coming in with the going deep

and chad jt podcast here with my compadre jean thomas what up boom clap stokers and dude we're joined by dan soder what up man yeah dude this rules i appreciate you guys having me on dude we're psyched to have you when we found out you were like coming on we were like all right this will be a good one yeah i was very excited they're like chad jt you want to have you on i was like dude because I was saying off air, Big Jay and I were such big fans of yours when you guys put out the show on Netflix. Oh, dude. Thank you, man. And we talked about it on the bonfire.

But you were saying you saw one of your first city council clips. The house party one. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And we watched that because everyone thought it was real. Yeah. It was kind of like, do you remember the surfer clip from Australia? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

We thought, we were like, oh, shit, is it one of those? Do we have our own like the dude who threw the huge party and got in trouble he's my sunglass yeah i love it he's like he's having patty my parents went i fucking loved it he's like why don't you take your sunglasses off he's like now the famous yeah dude i love that there's nothing better the only thing better than southern California beach energy is Australian energy. Yeah, they're the top notch. If there were like a stoner relaxed Olympics, those would be the two favorites.

Yeah, they're not conflict prone. They're just chilling. Anything could happen to them. They're like, oh, yeah. Especially when I used to drink and you'd hang out with Australian people, they have that energy when they wake up. So you'd be like hung over and you're like, dude, I feel like shit. They're like, no, it's gone out like no what's going on it's all right everything's all right and you're like

i'm gonna throw up in my mouth they're very competitive about partying too i went down there and they're like they're like just so you know like we party hard oh i bet if you showed up they're like we got you want to see how we do it yeah we bring out their competitive juices that's awesome they see a chill rival it was like the leaders of our foreign exchange program they're like teachers and like just so you know like yeah we party don't fall down or else will you aren't get back up fish and chips yeah it's awesome i do think that's the key to being a great long-term like sustaining a party lifestyle person is that you have to be like a very low anxiety person like can you manage to never like freak out that's what took me out of

the party lifestyle was my hangovers started eating me a lot yeah my soul where i would wake up and be like and like i want to kill myself and that's why hanging out with australian people they're just like oh no everything's all right let all right. Let's go. And you're like, I fucking want to shoot myself in the head. Do you think you could bring that darkness into them? Are they resistant to it? I don't know. Shane Gillis has a special coming out, and he has a bit about goths in Australia. And it's one of my favorite jokes currently out there.

It's so goddamn funny because they are such bright people. But they're also the relatives of convicts like whatever whoever got them put on that island did some dark shit yeah the dark in uk and then you're like so for them to have that like all right i love that dark shit for that era which was like way more permissible crazy there used to be this old bill hicks joke he did where he was like uh the great barrier he's like would you rather stay in foggy london with shitty food or go to the great barrier reef with lobsters the size of canoes the guy goes oh i'm jack the ripper yeah you'd want to get sent down there so bad i've never been to Australia.

It's cool. It feels pretty much like California. Does it? But they do have, like, their wildlife is insane. Oh, yeah. The bugs are ten times bigger. We were on an island, Stradbroke Island. I said I did a foreign exchange there for, like, three months.

And they're like, yeah, this island has eight of the ten most poisonous snakes in the world. And they're just cool about it. Yeah, I'm like, why are we here? Yeah. And they're like, oh, it's fine. If you know us to them, they know us to you. And you're like, I don't know how snakes think. Dude.

I've always, you know, all the places I've lived, I grew up in Colorado, and there was wildlife there, but I didn't really fuck with it because I was just in the burbs. Because you still had like deer walking around and stuff. Yeah, deer. Dude, you'd find a deer in like a housing, you know, like a housing development or whatever, and you'd be like, buddy, how did you get here? You'd be like...

You'd just walk down the street like, how the fuck? The craziest shit was my mom had a friend that lived up in Conifer, which is in the mountains. And me and my buddy were like 13, and we wanted to go smoke cigarettes. And so we're like, we're going to go hike. And my mom's friend very seriously was like mountain lions are all over this place so if you see a mountain lion you have to get as big as

possible and that just made us smoke so nervously like we were like not that we're gonna get caught but we're like you hear anything you hear anything coming it fucked us up but then i moved to arizona and everyone was like yeah scorpions snakes all that snakes, all that shit. Those are scarier. And you're like, I don't fucking want to know. You'd be out in someone's house who like had a house away from Tucson. And they'd be like, yeah, just like check, check for scorpions. And you're like, I don't want to live where that's a normal thing. No, they're small.

They can live in the dark. Like a deer is like, it feels like a head up fight. Yeah. I know what I'm dealing with. You want him to go crazy on you? Yeah. Dude, when I lived in Alaska. That represents a punch.

I could maybe swim on him. I remember drinking in Alaska. I lived in Alaska for a summer. And I remember in Alaska, they were like, hey, moose are very. The most dangerous. They kill the most. They are very aggressive. And what they said is they can kick forward.

Really? So if you get in front of a moose. It's not just coming down. Yeah, like horses and shit can kick backwards yeah moose can fucking their arms bend forward so front kick you yeah they can like and you're like fuck this dude but everyone i taught everyone i worked with was like bears and moose and they kept saying that and i was like are moose that big of a problem and they're like yeah in the summer because they have yearlings and what will happen is you'll accidentally get in between a mother moose and her yearling.

And they'll just fuck your shit up. Dude, it's true. This is the craziest story ever. My buddy Wyatt was dating this girl Brandy who lived in Cody, Wyoming. And her mom was a big outdoor lady. She went out camping and a bear came upon her. And she did what you're supposed to do, play dead. Yeah.

But when you play dead on a bear, they don't just leave you alone. They bat you around. Yeah, they want to make sure. Yeah, they're supposed to do, play dead. Yeah. But like when you play dead on a bear, they don't just leave you alone. They bat you around. Yeah, they want to make sure. Yeah, they're like, is this thing dead? And like them being gentle and batting you around is like a ton of force. So her whole like dome got fucked up. She had like cuts, bruises, had to be like in intensive care for a couple days. Makes a 100% recovery.

Five years later, she goes camping again. Another bear came upon her. She played dead. Same deal. She survived both, but it batted her around again. Another bear came upon her. She played dead. Same deal. She survived both, but it batted her around again. She took two ass whoopings. She took two ass whoopings from bears. And she did everything right every time.

Do you think the bears were like, this bitch is back? Like, you don't learn to do that. Like, fuck you, bitch. You should have never came back here. I told you, you're banned from this bar, basically. You stupid barbecue bringing bitch. I'm going to you, you're banned from this bar, basically. You stupid barbecue-bringing bitch. I'm going to fucking kill you putting that up in the tree. Because if you're a bear, you're almost like, I've always felt like nature has to be like,

when did these motherfuckers get so cocky that we're, you know. That they're setting up shop. Yeah, they were like, yeah, what are you going to do? And they're like, I can kill you. And you're like, no, we got guns now. Right. That moment where humanity turned, that must have been an interesting moment in time

where we're like, yeah, we're not running from you guys anymore. And they're like, what the fuck? Yeah, I did too. With the lady thing too, I don't want to get like into, like over my skis in a gendered conversation, but did you see Grizzly Man,

the Werner Herzog doc? Yeah, dude. So that dude was living fine with the bears up there, and then he brought a gal, and that's when the bears went apeshit and ripped him to shreds. Yeah, dude, that was the last scene where he's like, Quincy, no! And he had that one bear, Quincy. Oh, the one that he would yell at when it took a shit? Quincy, get back here!

Yeah, he would slap it around. And he would yell at the bear, give me that. But dude, me and my buddy always used to make the joke about that guy, about Grizzly Man, because he would leave in the winter

when they're all hibernating and he'd go like work. Like Sullivan's Travels or whatever by the airport. But that's what we were saying. We're like, can you imagine like working at Applebee's with that guy?

Yeah, exactly. Where you're just like a line cook with him, you know, and you're like, yeah, I don't care. And he's like, and then quincy came and he doesn't like outside bears and you're like dude i got a 20 top and i'm trying to get all their entrees done he's just talking about bears and then he gets eaten by a bear there was at least one co-worker was like i told that motherfucker i wonder if there's an old black dude he worked with that was like i told him

yeah don't go fucking with them bears quirky kid but he never learned his lesson yeah those bears gonna bite you one day because he got fucked up that end was like brutal well yeah it shredded him from the inside well so hares like doesn't put in the doc he like watches it in private right but like films himself watching him and then he comes out he's like it's the most brutal grotesque thing i've ever witnessed in my life and just doesn't throw it in because it's like, but I think you can find it, right? Really? You can find the actual footage? I don't know.

Well, have you seen it? Audio only. Yeah, audio. It is the audio. Right. Because you hear him getting torn up. This is what it is. He's getting torn up?

Yeah. Yeah. And he survived? No, he died. No, no, he's fucking super dead. The bear ate him. But the whole point is, like, he's fine. And, like, he brings a lady, like brings a lady, his wife, to show them.

He found some gullible chick who was like, oh, that sounds fun. Yeah, really. There's some guys that to be able to talk a woman into that, his dick game must have been so good that they fuck and he's like, you want to go hang out with bears? She's like, I don't know. Like her ex-boyfriend in a band is like, she wouldn't even go in the van with me. And this guy's like up there like, you want to meet my bears?

That's what scares me. That like Svengali kind of like charisma. Yeah. Like the cult movies. Whenever I see the cult leader, I'm like, dude, keep that guy away from everyone I love. Because I could get talked into. I don't think I could, but I feel like the people around me could. I could. You could? Oh, yeah. yeah i'm very successful i'm a mark dude yeah

i'm such a mark that it would just take a couple things you just have to be nice to me like once and i'd be like what do you need you're a pretty cool dude you're a pretty cool dude i'd be like what do you want to do yeah i'd be like i've just been waiting for that my whole life i'd be like dude i'll help you you want to kidnap cory fellman i'm in yeah let's fucking take them let's turn them around dude i remember this specifically we were driving me and my buddy uh we were living in tucson we drove up to denver for like a college football game to go ccu play and we were driving back and there's like this the way you drive from tucson to denver is you well they'll tell you to go like 25 to 10 and cut right like so like a backwards l but we found in this place hatch new mexico you could basically cut off like three hours of a drive and cut through

this crazy desolate road through truth and consequences new mexico that's the name of it yeah so it's already like it's hatched new mexico and then you like drive through all these like really strange small towns. Truth and consequence. Yeah. And we're driving back overnight, right? We're like, fuck it. We'll drive overnight. There won't be any traffic.

And we're at this, this is how gullible I am. We're at this gas station, and it's like 3.30 in the morning, 4 o'clock in the morning. We're gassing up my car. This dude comes out of the darkness. This guy's just like, hey, man, listen, I'm working at the carnival down the street, and I just need a ride back to the fairgrounds. And my dumbass, while I'm guessing, goes, oh, yeah, no problem. And my friend Mark goes, nah, man, we're cool.

We're cool. And the guy goes, oh, you sure, man? I need a ride or whatever. And my friend Mark's like, yeah, sorry, man. I'm sick. Nah, whatever. And the guy, so we get in the car and drive and then as we're driving my buddy just keeps going tell me when you see the carnival tell me when you see the carnival

and i'm driving and i'm like there's no carnival and he's like he's just upping my shit like he's like staring at the side of my head he's like tell me when you see the carnival he's like he almost got us fucking chopped up dude he was like that guy was a murderer. He just came out of the darkness and I was like, come on over, friend. But that is my personality. How old were you? 21. That's the age when you're picking up hitchhikers.

Yeah. Nothing bad's gonna happen. People are super chill. And if he is a murderer, I'll talk to him about it. If he would have been like, especially because this is like 2002, 2003,

if he would have been like, oh, I got weed. Weed was hard to get back then. So you'd be like, oh, we got weed. Weed was hard to get back then. So you'd be like, oh, we'll fucking smoke a joint. That's fine. Yeah, I should have been killed. Did you go to Colorado? No, I went to University of Arizona.

Oh, nice. But I grew up in Colorado. So you were there in 02. So were you there the year that they went to the Natty against Maryland? No, they went to the national title 01 against Duke. Against Duke. Yeah, Shane Battier. I was a senior in high school that year. the natty against maryland uh no they went to the national title oh one against duke against duke yeah shane battier i was a senior in high school day that arizona team is like one of the sickest teams dude it's got uh xavier woods um it had uh luke walton it had jason gardner was coming up

jason gardner was the point guard yeah and then they had rick anderson remember that white dude that yeah dang that team was that was like an incredible final four. With Lute Olsen. Yeah. And then they lost to the Duke team that had Elton Brand, Shane Battier. Jason Williams. Jason Williams. Mike Dunleavy.

Mike Dunleavy. Chris Duhon. And then my freshman year, we came in with a stacked freshman class. Channing Frye, Salim Stoudemire, Isaiah Fox, Dennis Lattimore. There was like all these people that came in. Those guys were sick. And then we got close my senior year and lost to Illinois in the Elite Eight. Were those games just insane?

So much fun. But the problem was you couldn't get good tickets. They were expensive and stuff? Yeah, like how it used to be. I don't know. It's probably changed in 20 years. But U of A, everything low and towards the court was all alumni and shit the students were all we had like a shitty student section it's like the globe scene theaters yeah and so it was

like we were all up top so it made more sense to stay at home have a party have people come over dude this is one of my favorite stories so my senior year arizona's in the Elite Eight against Illinois, who had like Dee Brown and Darren Williams. That was a sick backcourt. Dee Brown was so fast. So fucking good. Goddamn, I haven't talked about this forever. I love this shit. So we had, you know, you guys are from SoCal, like outside party energy.

My buddies, there would be so much fun outside partying at Arizona. And my buddies are like, dude, the Elite eight, we're going to pull this big screen. This was when big screens had fat fucking backs. It wasn't like, you know, like a painting that you could just, yeah, it wasn't like a thing you could just hang up.

You had to like four people had to pick it up and take it out into the rocks and like settle it. They had ass. Yeah, dude, it had a fat ass. And so we, we,

we, uh, we moved this like TV into the backyard. And everyone's playing beer pong. We're partying. It's the Elite Eight. We're up. Arizona was up like 15 points with like two minutes left.

So everyone's like, all right. We're going to the Final Four. They're going to fucking call class. We're not going to have to go to school on Monday. We're already spending the money we thought we won. And this fucking guy that everyone hated was at the party. He was just kind of annoying, lived in the neighborhood, would always hang out at my friend's house. He leaves.

And so we're like, all jumping around partying. And then Dee Brown starts hitting threes and pushes it to overtime. And so Arizona goes to overtime against Illinois. and we're like, fuck, dude. And in overtime, they just blew the doors off. Dude, I remember the moment. Channing Frye hits a three, and we're up by like 16, and everyone's like, we're going to the Final Four. And then they just work their way back.

We go to overtime. We get to overtime. Illinois, they keep showing Bill Murrayray which was making me so mad because you're like fuck you guys i love bill murray they keep showing bill murray and then illinois wins the game and as the clock is expiring and we're like all realizing we lost the game the kid we hate the reason he left is he ran home grabbed a bottle of like andre champagne and when he comes in the backyard and fucking shakes it up and shoots champagne what a nerd and everyone's like and he's like and you see him look at the screen and he's like oh fuck and it was like the bubbles were like

and he was like fuck and everyone's like, fuck. And everyone was like, get out of here. Everyone like snapped at him. But dude, we were all like, he came back like, Final Four. And we were like, dude, they lost. And he was like, oh man, it was brutal. I remember going home and taking a shower because I was like sticky because of champagne. And I was like, this motherfucker. That's like a scene out of a movie.

It was so funny. The timing was, I was like, motherfucker that's like a scene out of a movie okay it was so funny the timing was I was like as that moment was happening yeah you know in comedy you always have those moments where something bad happens and you go this is really funny yeah like I'm gonna remember this in like five years and this will be funny it was one of those where I was like this is an all-timer dude what a big fuck up yeah you gotta be a pretty cool dude to handle that kind of spectacle and a lot of people who volunteer for that spot just don't have like the timing the charisma everyone hated him yeah everyone he had like real heel heat on him and then he came out and did that everyone was like of course it's this motherfucker yeah i wanted to talk to you about wrestling because you just mentioned he only said mark

earlier because i just watched a randy savage doc oh yeah on uh youtube because i've been i was super into wrestling growing up yeah Yeah, everyone was. And now I'm back. Oh, hell yeah. Welcome back. Yeah, I'm reading Bret Hart's book. I just watched – I was only watching stuff in the past, and then I just caught up on SummerSlam.

SummerSlam was great. The Cody Rhodes. The Uso storyline is the best thing working with Roman Reigns. So I don't know that much about it because I haven't seen much, but everyone's talking about the tribal chief stuff. What do you want to know? No, no. So this isn't modern, but I want to ask you – Yeah yeah because you were so good in the randy savage doc too when

you talk i got fucked over in that i got fucked over in that oh we'll talk about that what happened so um billy corbin who i love documentary maker he did cocaine cowboys he did the u that guy's the man rules billy corbin you is fucking like i just got chills thinking about that it's unbelievable it's my favorite college football documentary is the U. Yeah, because they're just badasses and they basically coach themselves. They would wear military fatigues, Catholics versus criminals, all that shit. And the second one with Ed Reed, I just worship Ed Reed. I'm like, I would follow him anywhere.

He single-handedly, I think, beat the 49ers. I'm a huge 49ers fan. I think he was the reason we lost Super Bowl XLVII because he started to learn how to read Kaepernick before anyone else did. Yeah, he's a genius. He's unbelievable. So, uh... There's the Savage Docs. Yeah. Billy Corbin calls me and he's like, hey dude, I'm doing these A&E biographies

for the WWE and I was going to do a Macho Man because Macho Man's from Florida. Like the Poffo family's from Florida. He's like, will you be a part? Because in each wrestling documentary I'm going to have a super fan. Because I want it from the fan's perspective. And he's like, you're a Macho Man's like, will you be a part? Because in each wrestling documentary, I'm going to have a super fan. Because I want it from the fan's perspective. And he's like, Macho Man's like your favorite wrestler. One of your favorite wrestlers.

Will you come and talk about him? And I was like, yeah, dude. So I was nerding out. And so I tell the story. They're like, so why don't you tell the story about how he died? And he famously had a heart attack while he was driving and then ran into a tree. And that's how he died. It was, like, very sad or whatever.

But I was just saying, I was like, what a badass way to go. Takes two things to kill you. And, like, this is, like, a four-hour interview. So we're just talking about everything. And I bring it up and I'm like, there's nothing more macho than fucking dying with a heart attack and you drive into a tree. Dude, when he edited it he kind of fucked me and i love billy but it's very serious the documentary is very serious and then it's just my scene of being like he fucking died awesome right he fucking died

awesome and dude that documentary came out and i i caught a lot of shit from wrestling fans that were like you disrespectful motherfucker like all this shit it was just totally mismatched with where it just was out of place Lanny Poffo his brother Macho Man's brother called me Frankenstein he was like shitting on me he's like and he recently

passed he was he was the best I'll always love the genius even if he hated me and all these like so there was like this group of people that were actively shitting on me after this documentary came out and then one of the coolest things in my life happened because i'm i've been a wrestling fan my whole life eric bischoff legend legend ran wcw was a member of the nwo he has a wrestling podcast and he defended me and he was like i've known randy professionally and personally he would have loved the way that dan sutter described his death because he put him

over he's like randy probably would have put that at the beginning of his documentary because dan put him over and i was like i was in a hotel in columbus listening on my earbuds two o'clock in the morning be like fuck yes fuck it felt so vindicated. Yeah, so was it worth it? Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it was cool to be on a documentary about. And then to be the heel of it.

Yeah, to kind of be like, oh, catch some heat. And you're like, I didn't know I was going to catch that. That's fun. But yeah,

I mean, I'm a huge, I'm a huge Macho Man fan. And I was like, I thought he did it the right way. I like anything, whether it be comedy, music,

wrestling. I love when you hear about guys that do it the right way. So to that though be comedy music wrestling i love when you hear about guys that do it the right way so to that though this was the one i really wanted to ask you yeah i'm reading the bret hart book i love bret hart yeah best technician of all time but are is he boring no i don't think he's boring i think he is the greatest in-ring performer of all time i think believability wise 100 and the execution. I thought he had good promos. I thought everything about him was good. I think he...

I don't think he was boring. I thought he had great storylines. I think he was kind of vilified for the way he left WWE, but I think Bret Hart's like... I find the matches a little boring, but they're so realistic that when I watch other people's matches,

they seem super fake. Yeah. Well, so it is all, obviously it's all stunt fighting, but sometimes with the, it can be more, you can make it look real.

You watch like him in stone cold, the WrestleMania one, WrestleMania, some SummerSlam. Check out the first SummerSlam. Check out his and the best. One of the greatest matches of all time, besides Randy Savage and Ricky Steamboat,

is I think it's SummerSlam 91 or 92. It's Bret Hart versus Mr. Perfect for the Intercontinental title. Yeah, I just watched that one. That's the best one of all time because they're doing roll-ups, arm drags, throwing each other around, but they're selling for each other. Was that the one where Perfect had a bad back, and he like yeah and he like and bret hart rips his you know when he rips on his top yeah and he like pulls him pulls him back there's so much cool shit in there that like if you're a

real wrestling fan you're like those matches are fucking unbelievable because there are people do a lot of cool shit luchador stuff now but like the guys that are really good at like the small technical stuff make matches feel like you said like real and the little beats too like the guys that are really good at like the small technical stuff make matches feel like you said like real And the little beads to like the face like I was watching one two three kid verse Bret Hart That's one of the best ones of all time and like there's a moment at the beginning where? One two three flips them. Yeah, like like does a The hip toss yeah, and Brett gets up and just goes. Oh like he get a little look like oh Does that thing where he looks back.

Yeah, yeah. So when CM Punk came back to AEW, he had a match with Darby Allin and like CM Punk's a massive Bret Hart fan and he was putting little like Easter eggs in his matches and he did that with Darby. Oh, really? They like, if you watch the match

and you compare it to him versus 123kid, they did a lot of the moves. It's the same thing. And you're like, as a wrestling fan,, they like, if you watch the match and you compare it to him versus one, two, three kid, they did a lot of the moves. It's the same thing. And you're like, as a wrestling fan, you're like, that's sick. That is cool. Cause you're like, that's a cool little like tip of the cap of like, these guys used to throw down one, two, three kid. Sean Waltman is like one of my favorite wrestlers of all time. He's great.

Super athletic. And like one of the coolest dudes of all time. I listen to him in podcasts. Now I'll listen to clips on YouTube just forever. It just like calms me down. Yeah. And he's, he's, it's I listen to him in podcasts now. I'll listen to clips on YouTube just forever. It just calms me down. It's funny listening to him now. He just sounds like a cool, fun dude. I smoked a joint with him outside

after the first AEW Double or Nothing. We were all in Vegas, and we went to it, and I was just smoking weed, and I was like, dude, this guy. I'm smoking weed with fucking one, two, three kid. It was in my mind. I was like, this is crazy'm smoking weed with fucking one two three kid it was like in my mind i was like this is crazy it was like a famous person in a way to me that meant so much

to me i got two more so best promo ever is it macho man you think he's the best yeah he was crazy right if you want steiner's on that level too which is like the weirdness so there's craziness but if you were to ask me honestly the greatest promo of all time it's jake the snake roberts after he slaps elizabeth at tuesday in texas with macho man because it is a chilling serial killer like speech where he's like he talks about how good it felt to slap her and he's like bring her around i would pay to do that again and you're like this is sadistic it's sadistic but it's like it's either that is either the greatest promo of all time or stone cold uh austin 316 just says i whooped your ass against jake against jake the snake after king of the ring you know i've talked about this one in the pod too. Eddie Guerrero's against Brock.

Unbelievable. For No Way Out. Yeah. Oh my God. I'm crying every time I watch. I watch it all the time. I cry every time. Eddie Guerrero fucking.

Eddie Guerrero's. The heart is just fucking huge. And he talks about like not being able, never getting over, no one ever putting him over. And Brock is like this unbeatable monster. But Brock puts a little fear into his eyes at one point, which is so cool of Brock to give him that gift. I love those stories about how they're legit tough.

Oh yeah, I listen to Haku stories all day. Haku's the man! Haku's just biting people's backs and ripping out flesh. I'm lucky enough that I'm friends with Bruce Prichard and I was in Stanford working at New York Comedy Club and I got to go to lunch with Bruce and I just ask him questions like that.

I'm like, shoot tough. Who's tougher? Haku or like Brock? Or like a tank. And he's like, you just don't fuck with Haku. That's what they all say.

He's like, you just don't fuck with him. Like Brock would take him down but Haku would rip his eyeballs out or like fight. He said they'd go to bars and he'd be like, you just don't fuck with Haku.

He's the man. And the cultural tradition of where he comes from too. I mean, the Samoan dynasty, all that shit. You just don't want to fight Samoan. I just recently heard a story, cause I do the same thing. When I'm on the road, I love watching clips of wrestlers talking about,

to me, I've talked about comedy ad nauseam. That was going to be my last question. Are they better, are they funnier than comedians? I mean, I think there's construction workers that are funnier than comedians. I think there's like people that aren't in. Yeah. The people that don't need to have the need for people to tell them good job are funnier. Yeah.

Right. Because they're like, yeah, whatever. I'm just being funny to be funny. I think wrestlers like I love the parallel of professional wrestling and comedy. So you hear their road stories and you're like, oh, my shit's so much easier. Because they're like in small, they're really in low speed car accidents every night.

And then they get up and go do it in another town. And I'm just like, what in Irvine being like, man, my grandma's weird. And then I got to get up and go to San Diego. That's fine. I'm like. It's more slow paced. And before they broke kayfabe, they grandma's weird. And then I got to get up and go to San Diego. That's fine. I'm like. It's more slow paced. And before they broke kayfabe, they were real villains.

Well, you know the Hacksaw Jim Duggan Iron Sheik story, right? No. They were like in a huge rivalry. Huge rivalry. And then they got pulled over in the same car and they were smoking weed together. And they were like, you guys are supposed to be enemies. And that like ruined the kayfabe of them. They're like, what the fuck?

All I did hear about this is like, you guys are just rolling around smoking joints? Yeah, it was in the paper. The whole country was like, it broke their brains. They were like, what? Yeah, how are they friends? And so it's like, wrestling to me is something where I've always known how nerdy it is

and still loved it unapologetically. And I haven't been able to articulate it, but the fact that it's these guys pretending to be who's the toughest guy, but when you become the toughest, it's because you played the game of Thrones of being the smartest behind the scenes of making people believe you're the toughest, but there's no actual fighting. It's just looking tough and then being able to speak it in a way that makes

you the presumed toughest. Hulk Hogan was on Theo Vaughn's podcast this past weekend. And I think it was on this podcast. It might have been on another radio show where Hulk Hogan was like, you're telling me wins and losses in professional wrestling doesn't matter. I'd say that's bullshit. He's like, because if you win, if you keep winning, you make the most money. So it is a predetermined outcome, but still you have to pick to be the winner.

So he's like, winning does matter in professional wrestling. And the only way you can win is by actually beating the guys, by convincing people you should win. But I love the stories of Steve Austin. Putting guys over and stuff. But just helping out. But Brett putting him over. Huge.

They say that started the attitude error, right? I mean, it really did. And Steve was coming from the really did and steve was like coming from the wcw where he was like they fired him he goes to ecw learns how to do promos from paul hayman they bring him into the wwe and they're like you're gonna be a silent killer he was the ringmaster with ted dibiasi sounds so weird now and he had blonde hair and like green trunks he like looked weird and then he shows up in the black trunks, starts talking shit and changes culture,

like changes everybody. You know, it was like perfect. It was just like Stone Cold Steve Austin and The Rock made wrestling bigger than I think Hulk Hogan did. You know, Hulk Hogan took it up to the top. Yeah. It's like he broke it through to the mainstream,

which still feels like the hardest step yeah in terms of like being like part of the cultural zeitgeist and like the way people are talking to each other yeah like the rock and stone cold and degeneration x that was like dude everyone everywhere doing the acts just it was it was so kids got suspended across the country you know going like suck it and your teacher's like don't say suck it and you're like nah it rules it's the best well it's funny re-watching it. And you're like, nah, it rules. It's the best. Well, it's funny rewatching it now, dude. I'm like,

well, these are all like 35 year old dudes, but their, their humor is like, cause they've just been around bros all day long. All their jokes are like, you got a little dick in your butt. And then they're doing this.

And I'm like, and the whole country's like, that's what we want. That's what I loved. And that's what I always loved about like growing up. You know, like, uh,

I was just telling my, Katie and I were talking about it. My fiance and I were talking about like Hulk Hogan know like uh i was just telling my katie and i were talking about it my fiance and i were talking about like hulk hogan was like sitting there being like say your prayers take your vitamins and work hard and he's just on so much steroids that you're like dude i can see you look like a burnt hot dog and he's like i'm gonna tell you something brother and you're like dude it's so fun and wrestling is the thing that takes my mind off like everything i can just watch it and be like and now i'm super into new japan like i got into new japan in the last 10 years and they work like stiff which is like is that new league it's been around a long time okay but you can we finally have access to it now you can

like because of the internet you can watch all you hear the war stories about guys doing like tours over there like from all the way they broke hogan's leg and they said wasn't hogan he was a pretty good technical wrestler when he was out there you want to you want to trip out type in new japan hulk hogan on youtube and watch this match he had in like the late night mid to late 90s he was already like hulk hogan and he's doing like flips and like leg takedowns he's doing technical shit and you're like damn hogan and he's doing like flips and like leg takedowns. He's doing technical shit and you're like damn Hogan could go because in the WWE

he did five moves. He'd punch you slam you drop the leg and that was it. And does the consumer want that to some level even though we say we want more complicated stuff. Yeah well wrestling nerds do. I want that. But like the simple stuff does that actually work better? Like theater more important than the scrap. I think,

I think it really depends because I think like the WWE, they're so good at storytelling that whatever makes the story work better.

And AEW, which is like their competition, does just crazy ass moves where they're like, do you want to see some crazy moves? I've been watching guys

move sets and I'm like, the stuff I see from there like Kenny Omega and stuff like that. He's the best. He's my favorite wrestler in the world. His moves are...

I'm like, why isn't everyone just doing this crazy shit? If anybody's getting back into wrestling, watch the trio matches of Okada and Kenny Omega. Because they're like... So what's weird about the Japanese is they're much more patient than Americans. So they let them have 35, 40 40 minute matches that are like actual stories so you like see one guy do well and another guy and they're like and they clap they don't cheer so they like do a match

and they'll be like like when you do like a sick move they'll be like that was great but they have some of the best performers pride fighting yeah like with Pride fighting too. Yeah. Yeah, Pride, they would be like, hop, ha. As the guy's getting fucked and just right along. Yeah, and they loved personality. Like Rampage Jackson was like a Beatle over there. Pride ruled. Because Pride was a tournament in one night.

Oh yeah, you'd have to fuck three dudes up. And they'd come out with like wrestling entrances. Some blood sport shit. Yeah, and I love the Japanese intros. Yeah. Specifically of Kenny Omega, like in New Japan, it was like, Kenny Omega!

And he'd be doing the Final Fantasy shit. Because you can really nerd out. There's a wrestler in New Japan named Will Ospreay, and he's unbelievable. The moves he does. Every match I watch, every time i watch one of his matches i'm like that's my new favorite match and he just had two matches with kenny omega and i think they're the best matches since omega versus okada like if you watch omega osprey

at wrestle kingdom from this year and then watch them at forbidden door you're like dude these guys are doing moves where you're like, you're genuinely hurt. Like they did one where he DDT'd him on a turnbuckle on like the rope of the turnbuckle. And you're like, well, you can't hide that. And they show it and you see his head hitting. And you're like, God damn. It is pretty wild.

The amount of like real hits you see. They take bumps, dude. They take real bumps. And it's so much the guy who's taken the hit is responsible for how good the hits gonna like some. Yeah, sell it. Yeah.

That's why they always said the rock was the best at selling. So good at selling the stunner and stuff. The stunner where you hit it and then you go like up. The stiff and then the hit. Yeah. The roll is beautiful. I got to go to Michael Che got tickets for raw 25, like 25th anniversary raw. And we were like sitting ringside and watching stone cold stun

the mcmahons that close you were like yes fucking rules i was like shaking chay i was like there's rules because he's just coming out handing out stunners it was awesome yeah a lot of respect for the mcmahons all the way through i mean they're you know they're like the kennedys of wrestling they put and they put it all out there well i think there's like there's interesting stuff because it becomes like it is carnival fighting so you get like business practices that almost are as dirty as oh i mean like i don't think they're ethical but i mean like and i'm sure vince is the thing he portrays you know what i mean i think he's an egomaniacal like yeah vindictive like machiavellian just would there's probably a lot

of that that's very real he'd betray anyone i feel like to keep the ship going but but just like when he busts his quads and he still gets in there or shane like the physical stuff that they put so i got to me i'm not promoting this sag so you can't fucking take away my health insurance i'm just telling a story because they've been real clear about i can't promote whatever the tv show is on but because of billions i got to meet triple h he like came to set he like has a scene in the show and i got to hang out with triple h so it's like i'm a wrestling nerd just tell me when to go and i'll ask all the questions and so we were like hey how you doing you know like talk about the show or whatever and then i was like okay can i ask you like wrestling questions and he was like yeah fire away and i was like you rolled your quad

i was asking about cody rhodes cody rhodes tore his pectoral muscle peck against seth rollins in hell in a cell yeah and i was like Cody really tore his peck he's like oh yeah and I was like have you wrestled with a torn back and he's like yeah dude he's like it fucking hurts and I was like what's the most painful injury uh Triple H blew both of his quads he ripped his hamstring this was in like a top 20 match all time right and he finished the match and you're like dude your muscle bunches up on the front and you're still going you're like, dude, your muscle bunches up on the front, and you're still going. You're still going. It was incredible.

I was like, you're the toughest man I've ever met in my life. And he's like, you've got to finish the match. Because Vince McMahon, that story, he runs down, and he blows his quads. It's really funny looking. You can find it on YouTube. Watching him pop against the ring. And he slides in, and his legs are gone.

So he just goes into the corner, and he's trying to orchestrate, and his legs are gone so he just goes into the corner and he's like trying to orchestrate and his legs aren't working and you're like he's really hurt because if it's like you know in a real fight

they'd be like I'm hurt I'm hurt but in wrestling you gotta keep carrying it on so these guys are like oh fuck it's brutal

it's the third most searched thing for Vince McMahon is it really on TikTok yeah dude it is when he slides in and his fucking legs and you see him

be like oh fuck he just goes down but dude from his ass he's still barking shit he's like letting them know dude yeah it's wild you see those guys get injured and the thing that i learned is like sometimes they're really good at like faking injuries like a guy will land and be like oh my knee and the ref will be over there. I'm probably giving away a secret, but if you ever see a ref go like this, that means they're really hurt. If you ever see a ref go like that, that means like, hey, we need fucking someone down here. Like, this is a real problem. So I always watch that.

And like, I'll be watching it with Katie and she'll be like, is that guy really hurt? And I'll be like, no X's. I don't see any X's. It's such like nerd on a different level that you're like, I shouldn't fucking know this. But it is really, that's one of the fun things too, is trying to discern between the theater and the, and WWF is so smart about how they put reality into, like they'll take real life conflicts. Dude. I mean, there was the story about like, um, they had, uh, I think it was edge edge and

Matt Hardy. It's crazy. And then sleeping with Lita and then they just made it a fucking storyline. Which is like, I just, I saw that and I was like, bro,

to be Matt Hardy and like, that's your job? Like, to be a good worker? Yeah. To do good business, as they say,

you gotta punch the clock and just have this dude taunt you about banging your, when it really fucking happened. Yeah, where you're like, oh yeah, no,

it's cool. You're just at work and this guy's like, I fucked it. Like, could you imagine? And you don't get to really beat his ass. He might have to beat you because that's how it's scripted. just at work and this guy's like I fucked it like could you imagine and you don't get to really beat his ass

he might have to beat you because that's how it's scripted did you guys ever wait tables no you guys never so it's one of the

most incestuous businesses everybody fucks everybody so like sometimes you like date a girl and then like break up or whatever

and then she's like starts dating another guy that you wait tables with and then you're on like a fucking 12th hop with him you know and you're like dude fuck you i fucking hate you did you get the salsa

that's like i can't imagine that but like fake fighting and the whole body slamming you're like i could really fucking hurt you i would really fucking yeah you still gotta trust the guy i mean stone cold finished a match with a broken neck yeah owen hart owen hart broke his neck yeah in a in a uh on a pile driver that's when you're so jacked that you can still function. Yeah, Kurt Angle won a gold medal with a broken neck. He's so funny about that shit, too. He's like, with a broken freaking neck. Kurt Angle rules.

He's the coolest, man. But Stone Cold broke his neck, and you can watch the match, and he sees something's wrong, and then he kind of goes goes through it and then he went in the back and sat down and they're like you're next bro you have to go damn yeah dude what's the worst comedy injury ever what's the worst oh probably pablo francisco losing his mind on stage it's all mental shit on the sacramento richards that's where my brain that's a good that might be the best comedy injury yeah it. It's the injuries are never physical. You're like, don't go there, bro.

You're losing it. God, dude. Yeah. That's the risk we do every time. That's our tightrope walk. It's just a snap. Yeah. There's a, or there's like, um, he, the guy didn't get injured, but you ever seen the

guy with the, that plays the guitar. And then he's like, well, why don't you come up here? And he smashes him with a guitar and he goes, you saw folks he came up here the whole audience goes no they like turn on him well even the the dave chapelle at uh netflix is a joke oh yeah they're stomping the guy yeah john stewart goes and stomps dude that's you want to talk about fun wrestling clips to watch watch guys climb in the ring that are wrestlers. There's a great one of Triple H and Stone Cold during a dark match, so it's not televised.

And they're wrestling and this guy gets in the ring to attack Steve Austin. And Triple H is wrestling him. So Triple H is supposed to be... And then Triple H kicks the shit out of this guy. That's my favorite. I love watching that in football too when a stupid drunk fan will get on the field and then you just watch...

Bobby Wagner from the Rams. Yeah, or like Peter Poole, just some jacked linebacker will just be like, nah, dude. Some guy went on the field, I think it was a 49ers game, it was 49ers-Rams, and he went on the thing

with like one of those smoke things or whatever, and he ran down the sideline and Bobby Wagner was like... Belly to back him. And just fucking popped him. That shit's badass. There was a time too, like some guy ran on the baseball field

and I remember one outfielder just beat the shit out of him. He was like, dude, I'm not playing around with this. Yeah, you're at my job. And people are like, oh, security will handle it? He's like, I'm a fucking badass dude.

I'll just beat the fuck out of this guy. I always think that's funny because it's like, do you think they're going to work? Do you think they're going to work kayfabe with you? Do you think they're going to do fake stomps and shit? Throw you off the ropes. Yeah, there's a great one of Scott Hall and Kevin Nash in a tag team match.

And a guy tries to get in the ring and Scott Hall just fucks him up. Just like stomping his head as the guy gets in. And you see the guy being like, but I thought, you know, just like heads getting pinged off. Scott Hall's mugshot, I think it was at an Orange County jail. And I'm from Orange County. And I remember seeing that. I was like, that's sick, dude. He was here one time.

Scott Hall was here one time. That's badass. I was like, Scott Hall was here. I'm like, it's probably a Hennessy. He's probably fucked somebody up. Yeah, dude. It's fun because it's fun that, like you said, you were into wrestling when you were a kid. You stopped.

And you come back to it as an adult. And I think anyone that's a lifelong fan loves hearing that because we're like, come on back. Come on back. It's still crazy. We need the prodigal son kind of shit. Yeah, come on back. It's funny stuff.

You had to go live your life, get into MMA, get into other things. You could check out MMA, but come on back for WrestleMania. Right, exactly. Do you fall amateur? Oh, yeah, dude. I love – what's fun is as I've gotten in my career or whatever, saying it out loud and being like, I'm a huge wrestling fan, you'll get people who are like, dude, come to my indie event. And to me, that reminds me of comedy.

When you're in a New Jersey high school gymnasium, but they're still doing it. And the passion is so real. And it's not these, because also when you start to do better at it, you can get caught up in that aspect of it, the doing better part. And then, you know, like I think comedy, there's like a lot of feeling, especially in standup with fandom, there's like this sense of ownership

where people are like, dude, I knew you when you did fucking, you know what dude, or Opie and Anthony, I've been following you since, kind of like a band where they're like, you're my guy. And then with wrestling, you'll see a guy in the indies and you're like you're my guy and then with wrestling you'll see a guy in the indies and you're like this dude's fucking good like mjf maxwell j free he's the best

heel right now he's so good he's such a pompous douche out there yeah he really i remember watching him as in the indies and he was the same character and you're like this guy's really fucking good what do you see in a guy who's like in the indies where you're like that guy's gonna be good like good promos good in the ring and you just get like kind of like a band when you hear him you're like oh i dig this shit right magical feeling just like what do they do to your body when you're watching them yeah you just said i'm you're like i like this guy there's something there yeah we went we went to an amateur wrestling match yeah i didn't even realize it was a thing. Really?

So we got there and they were doing all the wrestling and all the intros. And I was like, oh, this is like for real. Yeah, yeah. They come out the back and they're like. And what's crazy to me is when you see indie wrestling, you see guys come out and they're acting like it's a full arena. Yeah. And it's a fucking flea market.

Yeah. And you're like, I guess you got to do that. That's beautiful, though. I guess you got to do that. Me too. I wish I could sell like that when I'm at a stand-up show I don't want to be at. Yeah. That I could come out and bring it like I'm at Madison Square Garden.

I feel that all the time. I'm doing like a half sold at the Funny Bone in Virginia. And I come out and I'm like, yeah, sorry, guys. Yeah, I'll do that too. If wrestlers did that, that'd be so pathetic. Hey, it's me, the champ. I'm here. You guys, I'm going to beat this dude.

All right. You guys want to watch me fight this guy? Walk up. Yeah, comedians, we're allowed to be a little moodier. I respect that with wrestlers. They have to bring it every time, rain or shine, however they feel inside. They're just like, no, my job is to make this a spectacle. There's a story of Bruce Prichard'sard's brother tom pritchard uh dr tom

pritchard is like one of the best wrestling trainers of all time and he would be the guy that when they would sign somebody he would like work with them on like here's how you cut a promo here's how you do all this stuff and he has a story about being in like the warehouse working with the rock when the rock first got signed to the w WWE and he said the Rock pulled a move where he got on a turnbuckle and it was an empty room and he like got up on the turnbuckle and was like acting like big shit and Tom Pritchard was like this guy's

gonna be a superstar right just in the way that he did that in an empty room he was like damn this guy's because he would he would do that he just like look like he was like doing that at home yeah I'm king shit dude and then he became the best. Yeah, he's a fascinating guy, The Rock. There's this article, like a celebrity profile that this writer I love,

Carrie Weaver, I think is her name, did on him. And I think he is that guy when the lights are off and he's in bed. He's like, all right, little Terramana. Like when he's going to sleep or whatever. Like, what's up, bro?, little Terramana. Like when he's going to sleep or whatever. What's up, bro? Your mana's real strong. He's like, this pillow, this pillow's been supporting my neck for 25 years. I can't thank this pillow enough.

And he's just on. I think he absolutely is like that. I got a chance to work with Stone Cold Steve Austin on a cartoon we were writing, me and Dan St. Germain, which is still kind of, it's in development right now. But talking to Steve on the phone and Zooming with him, you're like, oh, you're him. You're like that dude. Like he would call me and be like,

sorry, man, I was out shooting guns. And you're like, oh, fuck yeah. He's like, but now I'm sitting down having a beer. You guys go ahead and tell me what you got going on. And you're like, yes, sir,. He's like, but now I'm sitting down having a beer. You guys go ahead and tell me what you got going on. And you're like, yes, sir, Mr. Cold. Mr. Stone Cold. Mr. Cold. Do you think, and is it a little bit like a Dice Clay thing

where the more you play that guy, the more you become him? I think Ric Flair proved that. I think Macho Man proved that. Dude, Flair makes me, I know Flair's the man. I got to say, sometimes I kind of like, I'm like, I don't know. There's something about it that it chafes me a bit. I don't know. I get a little moralizing with him.

Really? Yeah, I know. It's no fun. But sometimes I'll be like, I'm like, but maybe that's. Because I feel that way about Hulk Hogan. Well, yeah. Because Hulkster for me was like the guy for me when I was a kid. And then as I got older and I saw more of them as a human, I was like, oh man,

like Hogan's Knows Best really ruined it for me. Yeah, you know, maybe with both those guys, I think they're all egomaniacs, but with those two guys, it's like so front and center that I get a little judgy.

And then I know they're legends, I know they're heroes, but sometimes I'll be like, nah, dude, that's not my guy. Yeah, and Ric Flair was a guy where I think we kind of want to watch them have graceful exits. And that's why I kind of like Stone Cold

and Bret Hart because they kind of finished wrestling and then they're like, yeah, I'll come around. I'll come around, but I'm not going to act like I can still do it the same. I like this third act from Bret though of him just being bitter. I just watched... Dude, he buries people. There's a YouTube thing of Bret buries the world. Dude, he'll bury anybody.

He'll be like, that guy couldn't work. Yeah, but he says it about everyone too. He goes, that guy sucked. He's like, I i mean did he ever have a good match i don't know i don't really know if he could you know really do anything out there that was of any interest to anybody i love it dude go watch it it's such and it's that small scale assault that canadian like he never raises where he's like yeah uh you know i worked with him a couple matches the guy really couldn't go you know never really there's there was this old school blow up i wonder if you can find it online bret hart and rick flair got into like a thing and bret hart had a radio show and he would shit on rick flair and i think rick was drinking a lot and there's this moment where rick

flair calls into the show and he's like you didn't sell tickets. I sold tickets. You sold sunglasses. That's what he keeps saying to Bret Hart. And Bret Hart goes, well, you know, Rick, you only really had like four moves and that's all you could do. And Rick is like, he's just like losing it. And it's like Bret Hart being cool and calm and being like, well, you know, if that's what you think, you know, just I was, you know, I was real technical

and you really didn't know what you were doing in the ring. And he'd be like, I put you over. It's technical and you really didn't know what you were doing in the ring and he'd be like I put you over it's so awesome I love that shit I love all that backstage shit the ego stuff is great

and they're so transparent about it it makes me envious because you'll just hear all these guys talking about what a mark for himself or what a douche this guy and it's like

open season on everybody I feel like in comedy it's a little more I think comics do that behind doors. Yeah, we don't sell our drama as well. No, we don't sell our drama as well. But behind closed doors, I think we're as bitter and shitty.

Oh, that's what I mean. I want to see it more. I want to put it on the pod, but I'm nervous. Just call it out and be like, I'm going to tell you right now. That guy's a fucking D-bag. Yeah. He can't sell tickets. I ain't never liked his act.

He ain't never had a closer that did a damn thing for me. Yeah, like picking on guys for how many tickets they sell and stuff like that. I would love to start doing that. You're doing a half-empty funny bone. You can't follow me on a Monday showcase. You could start doing that. Yeah, exactly. Like some headhunting stuff.

I don't think I'd be well-suited for that world, but as a spectator, I would enjoy it. Well, because then inevitably what happens is people cheer for your downfall if you start doing that. Yeah, you got to take the hard bumps with that. Because there's been comics that do that. And you're like, I don't know, man. It's not going to age well. And just getting owned, too. That means you have to get comfortable with getting owned all the time.

God, should we start cutting promos on other comics? Yeah, I think we should, man. That would be fun as hell. Matt Rife. No, I'm kidding. You sell tickets and it's because your damn shirt's off. Burt Kreischer, put on a damn shirt. I love Burt, but it would be fun to start calling that guy's stuff out.

Yeah, exactly. Joe Rogan, are you a martial artist or a damn comedian? And then he's like, I'm going to kick shit at you. We're such pussies. Then we'd be like, I'm sorry, dude. Can I be on your podcast? Yeah, that would be fun. If I had more balls, i would do that yeah so

you'd have to live that life every day that's the one that you'd have to want that smoke all the time because there's days where i have it but then the next day i'm like no i'd like to shrivel up today and just be small dude i was just watching a video about the la versus nyc comedy i watched that do you watch that yeah because i was into that i was watching it i was like is there i don't know if this is the thing there wasn't anything in that thing that you watch that? Yeah, because I was into that shit. I was watching it. I was like, I don't know if this is a thing. There wasn't anything in that thing that was super aggressive. Well, he said that the big thing is that the comedy store doesn't book NYC comedians that much. The door goes both ways because I can get a headlining spot at the store.

I can jump on at the improv, but it's not with the comfort that I get spots at the stand or the comedy cellar. And I think that's how it works for LA comics. I think if there's enough notification that they're going to be out in New York, the stand will book them. The stand books LA comics all the time.

New York comedy club, the cellar, they'll give people spots. There isn't like this like no i think there used to be that in the 90s but i think since the internet and specifically since ari shafir moved from la to new york i think that's bridge the gap oh interesting and now with rogan and austin now you've added a third city so it kind of yeah we're kind of fatherless out here yeah you guys don't have someone leading the path no everything's just free floating and yeah it's exciting though yeah yeah it does feel like

what have you been to the mothership yet i haven't i'm heading down there uh first week of september people say it's like the greatest i'm very excited i'm doing weekday spots so i'm just going before i go do raleigh and north carolina very cool but i'm gonna pop up and do a couple shows but i'm excited where are you doing raleigh doing good nights i'm cool. But I'm going to pop up and do a couple of shows but I'm excited. Where are you doing in Raleigh? Doing Good Nights. I'm doing the new Good Nights. I haven't done it. I've done the old one a bunch

but I'm very excited. I love Good Nights. We did Raleigh, right? No. We did Charlotte, Greensboro, and Greensville. Those are all fun.

The comedy zones. Yeah. Comedy zones rule. Yeah. Yeah, man. It's like going to Austin is, I've only done it, I haven't really done it outside of Moon rule. Yeah. Yeah, man. It's like going to Austin is, I've only done it.

I haven't really like done it outside of Moon Tower. So I'm excited to go down there and like. Were you at Moon Tower last year? No. Last year was the first year I hadn't done Moon Tower in, since 2014. That was the first year we did it. Really? It was the most fun week of my life. It was camp.

Dude, it was so fun. Speaking of the LA, New York stuff, I feel like you get everybody out of their home base and i was even being friendlier with la comics that i was normally like chummy with but never spent like you it's it's the road with your friends and but you're you're also centrally located and it's not like um i love festivals i love festivals they're so fun you get to see you get to actually hang out with like and you get to meet people that you maybe have never met yeah have they kind of like because i know jfl is still around and moon tower but festivals kind of falling off a little bit i think because of the pandemic maybe a little bit but i think they're coming back now and i think like um yeah they used to be like a million right yeah and there's skank fest every year and skank fest yeah skank fest rules you know i know lewis and christine and rebecca real well and they run it

kind of like that where they want camp they want it to be that feeling yeah when i was talking to amy letterman about it last night and it really is like you go to skank fest and you're like oh fuck yeah this is just a hang i've heard that it's a hang with shows and all the all the fans there are such good comedy fans yeah that it's like it's like doing a wrestling event for like super wrestling fans and that's it you don't get like casual people who are like what is this because it sells out so fast that people have to get yeah there's no explanation needed they all come in getting it they know they let you do whatever it's weird as shit it's fun and it's you know since they've moved it to vegas last year

they did it in vegas they're doing it again in vegas it just keeps it on this one street and you're like oh in this one area it's very fun yeah more than ever now too it's like you got to build a culture around whatever you're doing it's not just like the bits like you know like jake johansson and like the 90s somewhere they're just like this guy just has like killer late yeah it's almost like you're building a persona like almost like a wrestling persona. It is more like wrestling. They got to believe in the lifestyle. They got to believe in the whole shit. And our promos are podcasts.

Talking about whacking off. Yeah, but that's like in ring. Or other shit. That's like our in ring. Yeah. Where you're like, this guy's joke structure is like Bret Hart. Premise set up punch. This guy can fucking work.

Yeah. And then you see like, and then like our podcast that's interesting can we do that right now yeah can you comp people for me what do you mean so like who's the hulk hogan of comedy hulk hogan of comedy fuck who's the hogan of comedy i would probably say i don't know because i would want to say dane cook but dane cook could go like dane cook was like legit hilarious but that i do think that's i would say like brought it to I don't know, because I would want to say Dane Cook, but Dane Cook could go. Like, Dane Cook was, like, legit hilarious. But do you think that's... I would say, like...

Because he brought it to the mainstream. Yeah. Maybe doesn't have, like, the... I don't want to talk ass, but, like, isn't technically appreciated the way, like, a prior or someone like that is. Yeah. Okay. So, Dane Cook's Hulk Hogan.

Who's Macho Man? Bill Burr. Oh, nice. I think Bill Burr's got, like,, but is like so good in the ring. Like so good in the ring. Yeah, he's more diligent than you'd expect from that personality type. And all of his promos, you know, he's like, yeah, being a roofer was hard. You know, like him cutting a promo, being like, yeah, Boston comedians.

Yeah. Yeah. I would say, I would say, I would say Bill Burr is Macho Man. I would say Kurt Angle's Nate Bargetze. All-American, but can go. Can, like, really go. I'd say Bargetze's Kurt Angle. I would say Shane Gillis is Stone Cold Steve Austin.

Whoa! Smashing beers and being like,is is Stone Cold Steve Austin. Whoa. Smashing beers and being like, I don't give a damn. Yeah. It's gay. He's like, that's gay. It's Stone Cold. The Rock.

The Rock is probably. Is that like Kevin Hart? Yeah. And they're buddies. Yeah. Yeah. That's great. That's a good call. And they're like best. It makes sense. They're like best buds. That's great. That's a good call. And they're like best.

It makes sense. They're like best buds. That's a real good call. Kevin Hart's the rock. They see the world the same way. Yeah. It is funny too, because the comedy analog would be his opposite

in like dimensions. It really is. It's like, yeah. But dude, you nailed it. I think Kevin Hart's the rock. And then who's Bret Hart? Bret Hart is Colin Quinn. Just a technical whiz.

Just a technical whiz. And then like- For the people who know. For the people whiz. Just a technical whiz. And then like. For the people who know. For the people who know. And then if you get him alone, you can bury people. You know? He's like, yeah, I don't know.

He was pretty funny in the 90s. And you're like, okay. All right, Colin. Yeah, I'd call Colin Quinn the Brett Hart. Oh, interesting. Or David Tell. Oh, nice. I don't know. David Tell.

David Tell, I think, is more like., who's one of the all-time greats that's just undeniable? I feel like in ring, it's like Shawn Michaels, but different career. Yeah, because Shawn Michaels is one of the best of all time. You just watch him, and you're like, dude, no one could do this better than that. That's Attell. Attell, Shawn Michaels. But I feel like personality-wise, they're very different. Attell's supposed to be a really good guy and sean michaels supposed to be

like a really but now he's good he has come around he's and i think dave when he drank was like sean michaels oh interesting yeah and then he quit they both had their bad boy yeah they're bad that was a tell's bad boy era and then now he's yeah sean michaels that's pretty fucking good yeah all right this is fun yeah who's Who's Andre the Giant? So I was thinking about like, who is- I think like, Kennison or Bill Hicks was Andre the Giant. Just like an animal. Just like, I'd say Sam Kennison.

Just bigger than life, huge, and then had a tragic ending. You knew it wasn't going to last. To burn that bright, it can't go forever. Because you're a whore. You're a slut. I'm trying to think of Sam Kedison jokes. You're cheating on him. You're a slut.

He brought wrestler energy to shit. Yeah, he brought rock and roll and wrestler energy to all that shit. I always talk about that. I watched a doc about him in his later special where he'd have dudes who were cheated on come on stage. He had a phone. The phone call. Pipelined into the PA. Oh really?

Cause you're a whore. You fucking cheated on him. You fucking slut. And then the guy would take that energy. It was contagious. It was that like pastor shit. Yeah. And then the other dude would get on and be like,

you fucking slut. You cheated on me. I fucking hate you. I just watched that not long ago. So I know exactly what you're talking about. I watched it when I was like, I was just like, this is psychotic,

but it's undeniably compelling. Who would be dice of wrestling? Roddy Roddy Piper? Oh, yeah. I think that's good. I don't know. I'm going to be thinking about this all fucking weekend. Who's the Undertaker?

Oh, David Tell. David Tell. That's the one. That's the one. David Tell is the dead man. Is Booker T, is he a legend? He's badass. Booker T's a tag team legend and a singles legend. Supposedly a very cool guy. The one wrestling match I saw, I saw Booker T. You saw Booker T, is he a legend? He's badass. Booker T's a tag team legend and a singles legend.

Supposedly a very cool guy. The one wrestling match I saw, I saw Booker T. You saw Booker T? Yeah. We, Che through SNL, like gets hooked up on high. Like Michael Che gets, he's a big wrestling fan. Yeah. And so we got to go to, we got to go to Monday Night Raw, 25th anniversary.

And then we got to go to another big Monday Night Raw. And we were all backstage. Like me, Che, Monroe Martin, and Reggie Conquest. And we got to meet Mean Gene Okerlund. So it must have been Raw 25. And we were at catering. And Booker T was making like a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. And he had jelly all over his hand.

And then I was the first to shake his hand and i realized that there was jelly on his hand so i was like nice to meet you and then down the line you saw people shake their hands and realize he had jelly on their hands so they're like nice nice to meet you and then at the end like i think it was like reggie someone walked over i was like dude do you have jelly all over your hands he's like yes and i realized it was just great it was like Reggie. Someone walked over. I was like, dude, do you have jelly all over your hands? He's like, yes. And I realized it was just great. It was so fucking funny. Because he was like in the middle of making a sandwich.

He's like, oh, nice to meet you, man. And you're like interrupting it. You're like, yeah, this is our fault for interrupting him. Who decided you'd taken the Booker T. Batista? Who do you believe when they fought backstage? Because Booker says he put a whooping on him. Yeah. I don't know. There's always those stories about them fighting.

One of the coolest ones that I asked Bruce Prichard about was Brock Lesnar and Kurt Angle. Incredible. I mean, that's like two of the most tough guys. Two legendary wrestlers, like real wrestlers. And they said, I think in a documentary, Kurt's angle said he won. He beat him. He said it's like everything he had, but that he beat him. Because it was tough.

Yeah, it was tough, but I had him. But you're like, can you imagine? I asked Bruce about it. I was like, can you imagine just being there and watching that? And you're like in the arena and you're like, I think Brock and Kurt are about to really fucking wrestle. I think they said guys were running in the back. They're like, hey, Kurt and Brock are about to get after it in the ring. And everyone's like, let's go, let's go.

And I think Vince put a stop to that because he's like no no no no it's like 10 million dollars yeah he doesn't want people getting injured yeah dude i love that shit i do my favorite with kurt is a him and eddie guerrero almost got into it and then um i guess eddie guerrero tries to tackle him and kurt like front headlocks him or whatever and you're not going to tackle and so someone some guy likes to stir the pot goes up to uh eddie guerrero's like why don't you try to like double leg an olympic wrestler goes because i'm a fucking idiot yeah that's great just admitting it he's like because i'm stupid and i didn't know those are my favorite kind of people that's like playing dead on a bear you just grab his legs and you're like just do with me what you

will look i'm stupid whatever that guy like that's got to be such a cool thing mike vecchione a hilarious comic and he was my roommate for 10 years, wrestled at Penn State. Oh, really? And I was like, oh. That's a great wrestling school. That's like real deal. And I'm like, you never forget that. And he's like, I sucked, but you like, you wrestled at Penn State.

I don't think you sucked that bad. No. You'd still kick the shit out of me. There's a lot of like D1 guys who would be like, I sucked. And it's because they're comping themselves to their other D1 dudes who are like a different level.

But I'm like, man, like. Greg Warren. In the levels, you're way up there. Greg Warren got a a great special on youtube both him and mike have great specials on youtube greg warren was an all-american at missouri and you're like oh you could fuck my shit up it's like finding out your friend's part alligator where you're like oh if i got in the water you would just destroy me yeah yeah if i was kind of like that right Shane. Yeah Shane played d1 football He's a big boy. So I think if he was protecting Matt if you tried to get to Matt about Shane would be able to pass My brother played football and I'd be like well, I'm his older brother

I can still like get past him if and then my brother would just get into his pass pro and just hit me with that Like rock him. Yeah, I'm just taking chest shots. I'm like, dude, there's real technique. I think there was one time I tried to get around Shane and he just kept like lifting my shoulder up. And I'm like, stop, stop. Yeah, that's when you start it and then you get halfway through and you're like, all right, enough.

You're too good at this. Yeah, you had your fun, dude. Yeah, that's that'd be that. I wish I had a skill like that. I don't. I'm just like, yeah, I'm a silly boy. I respect you when people don't tell you about it and you find out down the road because if i had it you would know about it there's people that i've met like uh even norman can skateboard and he's like i've

seen that yeah dude he's got a body on him that's what's great one time we're at a pool he took his shirt off i was like dude fuck you we all got tits and guts and And Norman's like, I don't know. I work out. And you're like, fuck. Fuck, dude. I've seen him shred, too. Yeah, he can fucking skate. Yeah. That blows my mind. I could never skate.

I could never do any of that. He can surf overhead. Really? I like surfing, yeah. That's fucking awesome. Yeah. So he'll go to Mexico and get into a real dangerous wave. That's badass.

Oh, thanks, dude. I would talk about that all the time. I can't do any of that shit. Cause you know why? Cause if I could, I wouldn't shut the fuck up about it. It is funny. I take that shit more.

I just did like an interview with like a guy. He's like a thinker, but he's into martial arts. And at the end, me and him are shadow boxing. And I was giving notes to like an editor on it. And I had the most notes for the boxing section. I was like,

dude, I kind of crumble up like in a lame way there. I'm like, cut that please most notes for the boxing section. I was like, dude, I kind of crumble up like in a lame way there. I'm like, cut that, please. Can you not? Yeah, I'm like, make it look cool. Guys, I am interrupting this podcast so you know once again that we are on tour.

We got tour dates coming up. We're going to be in Irvine. We're going to be in San Jose. We're going to be in Chico. We're going to be in Detroit. We're going to be in Denver. We're going to be in Minneapolis. We're going to be in Nashville.

We're going to be in Charlotte, North Carolina. Keep forgetting that one, but we will be in Charlotte and New York. Get your tickets at Chad and JT.com. Also, we're brought to you by the legends at Liquid IV. Oh, the best hydration game in the biz. These guys have the number one powdered hydration brand in America, now available and sugar-free. It's a freaking hydration solution so no artificial sweetener so you get you know you're getting the good stuff and you're getting the electrolytes guys you can't just drink water anymore okay that's freaking for the the birds dude with their bowls no if you want to

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Now, yeah. And you got to strap it to your car and you're like, thanks again. You know what Helix does? They roll it up in a box gotta strap it to your car and you're like thanks again you know what helix does they roll it up in a box ship it to your door you freaking open the box it just rolls out and you're like swing why is this mattress making me hard oh yeah i got a firm one guys helix is offering 20 off all mattress orders and two free pillows for our listeners in honor of Labor Day. Go to helixsleep.com slash go deep and use code helixpartner25. This is their best offer yet, and it won't last long with Helix. Better sleep starts now, finally. I want to shout out Quiet Mind, the weighted pillow. Guys, if you have anxiety, if you want to come home at the end of the day and just feel toasty and warm and have a nice tingly feeling in your body of just calm relaxed chillness get a quiet mind quiet mind these weighted pillows

my buddy mikey invented this and they're crushing it they're crushing it weighted blankets weighted pillows you can hit you can hug it. Check it out. A quiet mind. I love it. All right. Guys, that's it. Let's get back to the show. Bye. Watching boxing and how technically good they are.

Oh, it's insane. It's amazing to think that anyone would ever try to fight someone that's been like a pro boxer. Did you watch that Crawford Spence fight? It was unbelievable. Watching Crawford barely break a sweat in between between rounds he's like uh-huh. Just grabbing his dick pointing at Charlo being like I'm gonna fuck you up next.

Yeah you're next and he's like and he's in a fight you'd be like fight him you're fighting Errol Spence and he's like yeah fuck him. And he's just sitting there and this dude's like

Errol Spence never lost I've never seen him even look bad and he's just like so calm and just dismantling this guy. And after that first round I watched that first round

I was like damn I think Errol Spence has got him and then it just turned and you're like, damn, Bud is the toughest fighter I've ever seen in my life. Did you see the thing as mom?

Have you seen that clip that's making the round as mom? I tell everybody about that. I've been showing it to everyone. And no one gets it, bro. I show it to my, me and my girlfriend just had kids

so I get why she doesn't get it. But I'm like, I'm like, babe, look at this. Isn't this hilarious? She's like, it's the worst thing I've ever seen. So Terrence Crawford's mom, there was an interview for a fight

about five years ago. Oh, he showed, yeah. Yeah. And I remember watching that on the pay-per-view where she was like i would say if anybody could beat up bud i'll give him 50 bucks ten dollars you can look back it was like 10 and she's like no one in the neighborhood could do it yeah do you want to know what the coolest talking one uh shane and i were obsessed with this for a little bit because we we'd send it to each other was khabib talking to conor mcgregor the best as he beat his ass yeah where he'd be like you talk now talk now elbowing him he's like you talk now just throwing an elbow and he'd be like and he got up he's like business man that and that pissed khabib off yeah he's like for khabib it's more than business yeah he's like

you now i'm gonna destroy you khabib's one of those rare dudes with like the money as he says but i fucking believe him he's like it's secondary so he's like and then he says it's all business really business you tap in front of everyone go to sleep be a man yeah dude what a badass yeah it's a different thing you know what it reminds me of i'm a denver nuggets fan and it reminds me of how nicole yokich like didn't really care when he won the title the psychology was amazing and he goes I want to go race horses. And then they showed him win a horse race in Serbia. And everyone was like, this motherfucker's more excited

about a horse race. I think it was KD tweeted it out. He's like, this motherfucker's more excited about winning a horse race than an NBA championship. Dude, I think that's actually going to be really huge

for American psychology in general. Nicola Jokic, because we've never had an athlete who was like, no, this isn't the most important thing. Every athlete's like, I've dreamed of this since I was a little boy. And Nicola Jokic, because we've never had an athlete who was like, no, this isn't the most important thing. Every athlete's like, I've dreamed of this since I was a little boy. And Nikola Jokic goes, when is parade? Thursday?

I want to go home. Yeah. I have it on my phone, though, because he's drunk at the parade. He goes, I know I say I know like parade, but I fucking like parade. It was like everyone in Denver was like, ah! I love him, dude. I love Nikola Jokic. Yeah, he's amazing.

That whole Nuggets team is very likable. Dude, being a Nuggets fan, I started being a Nuggets fan when I was 10. You guys have had great teams throughout the years. But we've never won. No. We've never been winners. You came close with that Carmelo team, right?

0-9, the Thuggets is what they called them. That was his sixth game Western Conference final against the Lake Show or something. Yeah, and that was when Trevor Ariza had two steals. Yeah, he was good. He was good, and then he got a max contract in Houston. But that team was fucking awesome. It was Melo, J.R. Smith.

That was before the Knicks trend. So it was Melo, Chauncey Billups, Kenyon Martin, old Marcus Camby, Chris Hanna, Birdman, J.R. Smith, young J.R. Smith. That's a loaded team. Birdman J.R. Smith young J.R. Smith that's a loaded team dude J.R. Smith highlights are he's the best insane

he's my favorite when he won in Cleveland and he was just shirtless all the time has only been observed by Aaron Gordon winning for the Nuggets

and then going out in downtown Denver in just his game shorts partying with everybody like there's videos of him on the street like and he's just in game shorts partying with everybody. Like there's videos of him on the street like, and he's just in his shorts. And you're like, dude, that fucking rules.

But I'm sorry, what were you saying about being a Nuggets fan? Oh, I was just saying like watching, getting Nikola Jokic felt like. Get from God. Yeah, because Mello left and all Nuggets fans were like, well, we'll never get a superstar here again. Because Mello was like, fuck Denver. You can't work here.

It's not. He didn't want to go to New York. Kind of conventional. Yeah, he wanted to go to New York or LA. And you're like, damn, well, we're a mid-market. We're never going to get a star. And then we got this Serbian that just doesn't care. He's like, yeah, I play. He's setting all these records.

One of the best big men of all time. He'll never leave. And he's like, yeah, I like Denver. Denver's nice. And you're like, I love you so much. You can't really picture a contract situation with him either. He's like, doesn't get the amount of money. I will take it.

It's the NBA equivalent of like, you know, in every rom-com where the guy likes a girl, but the real answer was his best friend that was there the whole time. And she takes her glasses off and does her hair. That was Nicole Jokic. We're like, we'll never have a superstar be in love with me. And he's like, what if I take glasses off and put

my hair down? And we're like, I've loved you the whole time. It was surprising because even when you see his draft report. He was second. Yeah, but the way he, oh yeah, because you guys had Nurkic or whoever. Yeah, we drafted Nurkic first, and then the second round we drafted Jokic, and he's the big quesadilla, because it was during a Taco Bell commercial that they announced that the Nuggets drafted Nikola Jokic.

So everyone in Denver was calling him the big quesadilla for years. If you watch his silhouette of how he moves, you would never peg that for the best player in the league. I'll change the way you watch Nikola Jokic from now on. Whenever you watch him, just imagine he's in a pool playing with his kids. Oh, dude, yeah. Because the way he moves, he has his elbows up. And he's doing a little bit of the water polo thing with the ball.

Yeah, he does a thing where he's like, oh, you're not touching it. And then he goes in and you're like, oh, dude, this dad is just schooling his kids. That's hilarious. Yeah, fucking rules. Should we answer some cues? Yeah, dude. Unless you pulled it out of the backpack. I bring my backpack everywhere.

I'm a big backpack guy. I'm a massive backpack guy. You rock a backpack? I love a backpack and I catch a lot of shit for it. Yeah, I guess. And I think people who don't like backpacks are fucking idiots. Do they say it's like young? Like it's like a boyish thing to do to rock the backpack?

I don't know, dude. I don't know. They think it's like not cool. New York, it's all about like having those. A satchel? A satchel? Yeah. Interesting.

Like fancy satchels. That's cooler than a backpack? Right? A backpack seems more similar to like a guy. A backpack like it's on. Strapped down. Yeah. You can jump to a helicopter in a backpack? Right. A backpack seems more like a guy. A backpack like it's on. Strapped down. You can jump to a helicopter

in a backpack. Yeah. I guess you can with those straps but it just looks When you bring it around when you slide it around that doesn't

No. And you gotta put it up. You gotta be born in Europe. Yeah. It's not believable for our neck of the woods. And I'm not tough or muscular enough

to have a fanny pack. Are briefcases still a thing? Those were cool. I'll bring back a briefcase. Do you rock briefcases? I would rock a briefcase. I would, too. I had a briefcase.

It was cool. Do that. And then your files. The leather. Yeah. And then put your code in. Oh, dude. And then hit the gold things on the side.

And you've got to have a handgun in there. Yeah. Like a pistol. Yeah, just be like, sorry, this is for real business. It's my favorite Seinfeld scene. He's like, what do you use the briefcase for? Crackers. Yeah.

Dude, I think we could get a movement going. Dude, bring it on stage. Oh, just be like, do you guys want to hear jokes? Yeah. And then pop it open. It's a business. And then you go, okay, well, let's start off with this. Dating is weird

i forget where i heard it but i heard gary busey had a back uh a suitcase when he was doing that life abuse mind abuse oh yeah central and heard a pa one time got curious and opened up this uh his his uh briefcase and it was all candy that's very funny dude a candy briefcase fucking rules that's awesome oh man I want a candy briefcase So bad You can make it like an Uber Just walk it around You have mints

Yeah You have mints Starburst You go do you want a snack If you're Is your blood sugar level Going down And then you just pop it open

Yeah yeah yeah I would even have a light I would have like a light Like Pulp Fiction Where you're like And there you go Laffy taffy There's a nut

Nutrageous Yeah cause you'd feel badass Walking around and everyone looking at you would be like, oh, that's a very serious guy. But then you know you've got this secret inside the briefcase. You're just having fun. You're like a whimsical person. One of my friends who passed away,

Kevin Barnett, used to have this great joke about, he likes taking, he likes dressing up in a suit and having a suitcase and then going down to wall street and having it open. It'd be pictures of his dinosaurs go everywhere. Like pictures of drawings of dinosaurs being like my documents i need my documents and you're like do that wood rule um all right what up chad jt and hopefully strider and joe i'm dating this girl that i really love she's my perfect calise in almost every way the thing is i'm not that physically

attracted to her this sounds messed up but because i don messed up, but because I don't think she's hot, I'm not as stoked to be posting stuff on social media with her as I was with my previous girlfriends or even introducing her to my family and friends back home. Does that make me shallow or is it important to think your partner is a smoke? Is there a time in your life where inner beauty just becomes more important than outer beauty? Have you guys ever dated someone that you thought wasn't that hot? Curious on your thoughts. i want to reiterate that we have a great relationship and i have no intentions of breaking up just trying to put this in her conflict to rest and look for a way to appreciate the great girl that she is this is compelling i think it's a deep question i think he saw it from a lot of angles like it sounds douchey but then it's like he clearly is aware of that and doesn't feel great

about it but he's being honest about what he cares about and i think that that honesty is like if you if he wasn't honest about that he could about. And I think that, that honesty is like, if you, if he wasn't honest about that, he could keep going in the relationship and then like kind of that could turn bad. Cause it's like, it's not fair to her. Yeah. It'd be like,

turn like into an infection. Cause he'd be like, resent her without, cause he hasn't dealt with it. So him asking that it's actually like, I think pretty brave. I don't know if you want to call it that, but like to deal with that kind of emotion.

What's that unlikable courage. That's like weird to call brave, but does take courage to be like, I'm not really not that attracted to her. And I think the thing is if you're like looking for the one, I think you have to be attracted to them. Like that is, it's not shallow.

You have to be physically attracted to them. And it could be shallow, but like, it doesn't mean it's not important.'s it's it's all it's all what you want in a partner exactly because there's some guys that just want to date smoke shows and they don't care if they're smart or funny they're just like oh you're hot you're just like a trophy and i love that and there's guys that are okay with that and then there's guys that are just like oh yeah my girlfriend's like my best friend and but you can really find who you want but you have to know what you want first i think there's like

an important thing where it's it's as you go on in the relationship you can see hot other hot girls and you're like you're like you can acknowledge that she's hot sure but that there's there's just no world where you would ever compromise your relationship now for that i i explained that i that's a really good i explained that to my fiance when we first were like when i started going back on the road heavy i know you gotta understand something i'm 40 now yeah i can see a hot girl and immediately like appreciate it like oh that girl's really hot you won't provide to me you won't provide me with a fifth of what my fiance gives me. Yeah, you got that nah bar in there. Yeah, so it would be like, even if, worst case scenario,

even like, hypothetically, worst case scenario, I ended up hooking up with that girl, the second it ended, I would want my girlfriend. Because that's who I love. So I just don't want that. So I wouldn't want to ruin that. Nothing is worth that. Yeah.

Like no hotness is worth ruining a good thing. But if you're not attracted to her. And to make it a little gentler too, it's like you're not saying she's not attractive. Yeah. He's not attracted to her. Like the person you end up with might even be like uh consensus wise less attractive than that person but it's just your person it's also it's important so if he's

not attracted to her he might be attracted to a woman that his friends might not find exactly but you're like you have to it works for him the smell the juices it all goes it has to be and she deserves a guy who's fucking super into her and wants to bang her and maybe what he's feeling like you have to it works for him the smell the juices it all goes it has to be and she deserves a guy who's fucking super into her and wants to bang her and maybe what he's feeling right now is just like this might be one of the first relationships where he's felt a connection beyond a physical thing he's growing up he's learning yeah so he's like starting to learn like oh i actually kind of want someone that relates to me i want a partner yeah you want a partner and if you want a partner sometimes that is like you have to be physically attracted to them i think too it's it's like um oh i was gonna say it's like this is

something where if he doesn't have that attraction it could just turn into like a best friend situation but without like you can have like your girlfriend is your best friend but without the yeah any desire to have sex with them or that you you know, she doesn't want that. Yeah. No. She wants to be, she wants to feel like she's fetching to whatever broski she's charging up. Yeah. Everybody wants to feel. Sexy. Attracted to each other.

Even if there is intimacy issues, even if there's all that, you still, the baseline has to be you're attracted to them. Yeah. You know what I think is coming up next for this dude too? And I don't think he's a shallow guy by any stretch but I think he's gonna over correct go with a super smoke and then he's gonna feel the pain of dating someone who's super hot and that the whole world's chasing on and then he's gonna be like all right let's level down yeah and then he'll find that sweet spot you got to find the sweet spot and the sweet spot is everyone

talks about the one but I think it's also you finding what you want in a person well it's like to your point about like let's say you hooked up with an influencer it's like you just play the you you just play you just play that future game of like well what would a conversation with them be like yeah and you can look at their ass but it's like what would it be like going to the beach with them when they take my picture 40 times and you're like i don't want to do no that the soul death of that yeah yeah there's like i knew don't want to do that. No, the soul death of that. Yeah. There's like, I knew I was going to marry Katie because it was like, oh, there's no one else I've ever felt like has completely understood me, been attracted to, made me laugh, like made me want to change stuff about myself.

Not in a way of like, a girlfriend's making me change stuff, but like, oh, I didn't realize I don't listen well. Right. Or like, I didn't realize sometimes I'm selfish in these situations. And then you change that stuff and you're like i'm a better person because it's huge the wanting to be better for someone yeah and you can't fake that no you cannot if you're not into the person you cannot fake it you'll do stuff out of obligation but it won't have that horsepower and then you resent them because it's out of obligation and you're like you should be grateful

i'm even doing this shit because i don't even want to do it and i'm just doing it so that you'll feel okay i'm the hero yeah you're not you're bludgeoning them slowly exactly yeah i think uh it's too it's like um this this feeling of totally being yourself yeah i with my current girlfriend now i've never had that with with any girl where you're just like you you're like attracted to them but you're like oh i can also like treat you like my brother a little bit yeah you could be you could fuck around yeah you could fuck around and like that's how you get inside jokes yeah that's how you get things where like you have references where you're like i remember this yeah yeah and being yourself with someone in a relationship was something i had

never done before my current relationship yeah i was myself but i wasn't a hundred percent myself because i think you want to hide stuff because you're like, well, I like this person. What if they don't like it? But then you show it to them and they're like, yeah, I like everything about you. Yeah, when they don't react at all, they're just like, uh-huh. It's not even a conversation.

They're just like, yeah, okay. Like, I remember SummerSlam. It was like two weeks ago, and I had the weekend off. And I found out it was SummerSlam. And I was like, I nerded out when I was like, I'm off for SummerSlam? Oh my God. And Katie's like, all right. She knows I love to eat like shit when I was like, I'm off for SummerSlam? Oh, my God. And Katie's like, all right.

She knows I love to eat like shit when I watch wrestling. And she's like, you're still trying to lose weight. So be cool about it. But it wasn't in a way. I didn't feel embarrassed. I felt like, oh, you know me. And she's taking care of you. She's just keeping an eye on you.

She's taking care of me. And she's like, listen, we're not going to get Van Luyns. I know you're going to want to order ice cream. Let's not get Van Luyns. But we can eat pizza. And I'd be like fuck this rules it just rules having someone know exactly the dumb shit that i want to do yeah and being like why why don't you not do she wasn't like you can't have you know what i mean it was like someone that genuinely knew me that after that day i was like

you were right i shouldn't i shouldn't go crazy when they can appreciate your your your silly side and your genuine interest yeah where it's like, even if they're kind of embarrassing, they'll help facilitate. They'll be like, oh, we should go do blah, blah, blah. And it's like, oh, you know that about me. You know I like that. And I don't feel shame about it. I remember I've dated girls who've, you know, talk about wrestling.

And they're like, you really like that? Like, that a lot is the and they're like you really like that like that a lot is the reaction like you really like that and Katie was like fuck yeah what do you like about it and I'm like

it's just like explaining it and she goes alright and then I took her to a we went to an AEW event and she was like nerd out dude

this is your place go nuts and you're like awesome you're like awesome thank you you know

you're like I'm really gonna show you a side that's gonna dry you up so I hope we fucking i hope we make it past this but yeah it's almost tougher on you where you're like wait so then they're so smart because like i've had girls who were like resistant towards things i liked but i knew were harmless and then it made me want to push harder into those things yeah i'd be like no i'm gonna defend my identity you become defensive yeah no and i'm like this is okay and i got like a level of anger that wasn't even proportional to the thing we were talking about. Dude, I didn't realize how defensive I was until I dated her.

And she'd be like, why are you getting defensive about that? She's like, you think I'm attacking you? I'm not. I'm genuinely asking you a question. I'd be like, just because I do, just because I want to do that. And then you're like, shit, sorry. And then you get embarrassed. You catch up to yourself and you're like, wow, am I?

Like if they don't react and they're being cool and they're just calling it out, then you have to be like, because the other person reacts, then you're both on the same. You start barking. You're in a mud fight. Everyone looks bad. But then if they're chill, then you have to reflect on yourself and be like, well, I don't ever want to feel this stupid again. And then you level up a little bit.

Yeah. And I think that's how people grow. And I think a good relationship makes people evolve and you like kind of grow together and you become a, you know, just a better person. Yeah. That's what it is. Squad, dude. Fucking tight unit.

Tag team, bro. Yeah, dude. Like the heart foundation. The best. You're like, you're Jim the Anvil Neidhart and I'm Brett the Hitman Hart. And just match up perfect. You got your powerhouse and your technician. You're like, hold them up.

I'm going to clothesline them. Dude, in the book he says they never fought. Yeah. He says they were just boys. That's awesome. And them up. I'm going to clothesline them. Dude, in the book, he says they never fought. Yeah. He says they were just boys. That's awesome. And he said, I was going to do this in my quarter. He said he would gently hold his hand sometimes before they went out there. That's so nice.

Isn't that sweet as fuck? That is. Yeah, you guys are the heart foundation of comedy. I think we've done some shit. We've touched like not. But you've been like, yeah. We've done that. Big Jay and I used to do that all the time.

Big Jay and I would have moments where I'd be like, dude, I love you, man. He'd be like, I love you too. This is a lot of fun. Before we'd go, like, we would do live shows. He would look and he'd be like, this is crazy. Yeah. This is so fun. That's the best feeling, huh?

Yeah. And you just look at a guy and you go like, man, I never thought I was going to be able to do this stuff. It's cool. I get to hang out with you. And you get to clock it with your bro. Yeah. Because you could be there by yourself and just thinking about the anxiety of it.

But then you're like, oh, this is kind of crazy. And you look at him and you're like, oh, but I got my dog with me. Yeah. That's why I like bringing friends of mine on the road with me But then you're like, oh, it's kind of crazy. And then you look at me and you're like, oh, but I got my dog with me. Yeah, that's why I like bringing friends of mine on the road with me. Because you're like, this is fun. You just look to your friend and you're like, we've been in way worse situations.

This is pretty cool. Yeah, it's an adventure. Yeah, it's absolutely. And it's a good show. It's like, it's, because it's so easy. It's that stuff you thought about in the future. And you're like, man, that'd be so cool to even just do like a set at the Laugh Factory

or something where you just like, you're an open mic and you're like man that'd be cool but then to like share that moment where you actually register you're like oh we've arrived at like at these these like these checkpoints yeah it's cool as hell be on the road and i love it dude i love it like you know i'm i'm gonna go do irvine improv tonight and then uh american comedy company in san diego like that one with louis katz yeah louis katz has been my boy for fucking 15 years yeah I'm going to go do Irvine Improv tonight and then American Comedy Company in San Diego with Louis Katz. Louis Katz has been my boy for fucking 15 years. And I just happened to be like, yeah, dude, I can give you,

I should make good money this weekend. I can pay you more than you'd make doing a one-nighter. Why don't you come on the road with me? And I got your hotel, I got your travel. And then you're like, let's fucking hang out during the day. Let's go get lunch. Go to a taco spot

or something just talk shit yeah talk shit and like catch up he just got married I'm getting married so it's like it's fucking fun dude

I love it that's what I love about comedy the thing I love about the most about comedy besides being silly and like making people laugh

is legitimately the camaraderie dude weird cue but at your are you doing your own vows or are you gonna do them like a promo I don't know

that's sick that would be sick though like are you gonna go do them like a promo? I don't know. That's sick. That would be sick, though. Like, are you going to go Macho Man on it? Yeah. Where I go, yeah. It started in 2014. Uh-huh. Yeah.

You were in a relationship. Yeah, but I knew that the cream rises. Yeah. Just keep pulling out little creamers. Yeah. The little cream rises. And then in 2019, yeah, a year before the world ended. Yeah, just cut it like that.

Dude, that's beautiful, man. That would be fun. That was really beautiful. And then Macho Man was such a romantic, right? You talked about that. I should have proposed to her the way he did, where he went, will you marry me? And she goes, you remember that? Yeah.

And then Elizabeth goes, oh, yeah. It was so beautiful to see him be. There was a real vulnerability to him that's just like undeniably connects you to him. Yeah, it was. Macho Man fucking ruled. Yeah. And Miss Elizabeth. Shout out, Miss Elizabeth.

R.I.P. Tough, tough, tough. Yeah. All right. Last cue. Tough way. What up, Sultans of Stoke? I'm a senior in high school, Santa Clara, and I play competitive club boys volleyball.

Coach my girls' varsity team for school and hit the gym. Volleyball is the priority, but I need to put on some weight due to recent injuries. For context, I'm 6'1", but for my weight, I'm pretty strong, 145 bench and 210 squat. My problem is I can't balance the gym with sports, and I lose my mass quick when I don't work out. I coach two hours after school every day and then play another three, four days to my alma mater. Oh, yeah, you went to Santa Clara. Yeah. Shout out to my alma mater oh yeah you went to santa clara yeah yeah shout out santa clara but dude to be honest like i didn't know how anyone did sports in college i just wanted to party yeah i like i'd see athletes i'm like how the fuck do you

practice especially like division one guys that's where i'm like can you believe that people are taking tests for him like i hope so yeah i hope so because that guy's great at football well they should be able to major in sports it's the only attribute you're not allowed to major in. Yeah. I would say to this guy, what's more important, volleyball or mass? Volleyball at this point. Just worry about volleyball. That's what I was saying.

Enjoy this time while you can. You'll get swolled in your later 20s. You could be jacked in your 20s. Appreciate that elasticity while you have it and just be swinging. Yeah, just have fun. just be swinging. Yeah. You just have fun. If you play better volleyball and also like no one tells this when you're young, but take time for yourself.

Oh, like chill out, dude. Like have recovery without the weights. He's being a little, he wants it all. He wants it all. Just go get into a TV show. Go like nap. You know what I mean? Like rest, recover just because then you're going to be better at volleyball. You know what I mean? Rest.

Recover. Because then you're going to be better at volleyball. You'll be able to enjoy it more. I would say, too, he doesn't need to gain mass. But if he wants to prevent injury, do things that prevent injury. Because I feel like a lot of times, I mean, you do deadlift squats. That's going to help prevent a lot of injuries. Maybe even stretching and stuff like that. Or yoga, dude. Get a lot of injuries. Maybe even like stretching and stuff like that.

Or yoga, dude. Yoga. Get super into yoga. Yeah. If you're wiry and tall like that. Yeah. And the ladies are going to be at the yoga classes too. He's a college guy.

He's horned up. And he'll get strength. He'll get that like stabilizer muscle strength where you can like hold yourself up. I've been doing Pilates. My weightlifting's gone way up because all my connected shit is like strong and supportive. Yeah, because whenever you're lifting weights and that jiggling, it's because you don't have the stabilizing muscles. And your angle gets all weird.

You're doing bench, but it's coming up above your forehead. We'll bring it one last time back to wrestling, but DDP yoga, when you watch all those- Save lives. Yeah, you watch all those Iraq War veterans that can't walk, and then they get their stabilizing down, and then they're able to be like, I can run now. Yeah.

Yeah, yoga's really important. I did yoga bar yesterday oh that shit don't fuck you up right it was with dancers really i was doing plies it's hard that's hard as shit dude there's no way i could do that it's supposed to be the most like the barre stuff is like i've like read articles about how demanding and like hard it is oh yeah i was dying where you have to put like one leg on the bar and do shit these like do a lunge it lunge. And I was like, what the hell are we doing? It's a different kind of strength. Yeah. Oh, no way, man.

My body would shut the fuck down. I'm feeling it right here. Yeah, dude. Oh, that's nice. That's good. You get a little lumbar, lower lumbar. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just do these little sideways things.

Yeah. Oh, you do a little sideways. The last thing for this dude, too, I think like you can get big later. You can't stay limber the way you are now. Your knees and shoulders are all going to start to ache. Dude, I'm 40 and it hits. Late 30s, it hits. It's different.

You start getting like, what the fuck? Were you not expecting it? No. Yeah. I thought I was, you know what the one that hit me the worst? Eating late. I always ate late and I was like, I'm fine. I kept it off.

And then it just one day I was like, dude, what the fuck? I'm getting fat. Right. You're like, well, how am I getting skinny fat? Yeah. And you're like, oh, cause I eat right. Like I'll eat like a peanut butter and jelly sandwich at like 11 or like 12. I've had trouble accepting it.

That also that I'm going to look older. I always looked younger than my age and now it's starting to level out. And I'm like, I don't know if I can accept that. I don't know if I can tolerate it. I think getting older is it rules. Cause when you have friends that die young, you're like, I don't know if I can accept that. I don't know if I can tolerate it. I think getting older is it rules. Cause when you have friends that die young, you're like, dude, get old. Don't don't believe the hype of like, shit sucks. You like yourself more and you can enjoy stuff more.

It's a gift. It really is, man. When you get older, you're like, man, I like who I am at 40 way better than I like than who I was at 30. Because at 30, you were just still trying to define yourself to everybody and now you're just like the foot's off the gas like loud and you're like bundled up 40 you're like fucking chill out right just chill the fuck it's like less competitive it's great when you like yourself when you get older you're like dude this rules

dude the only thing I've gotten better at if even if it's not for the best reasons if something's not working for me now I'll just shut it down. Great. Like, I used to feel this obligation to everything. Here's the thing. You can also stop being friends with people. It's a crazy thing. I didn't even know that was allowed.

You can just stop being friends with people. Did you know that was allowed? Someone bundled you up, did not know that until 35, and I've been loving it. That's what you find out at 35. You're like, it's allowed. You're just like, I don't have to fuck with you anymore. I've sent text messages where I'm like, no offense, i don't fuck with you anymore you can but you don't have to be responsible all the time people can text you you don't have to respond yeah i think i

think especially when you're young the crew is like yeah it's you you you got to feel like even though it's just a social thing you got to feel like it's like you're in it you're there you're support and then at a certain point you're like well i'm i'm i have to go on my journey my best friends from high school we have a group of six of us we still talk zero pressure we don't talk for three months that's fine that's how i want to blow up how you doing good man not like this like you haven't called me you're like i don't know all right i was busy you just call and you can pick it right up you can pick it right up people got kids you just go see him you have dinner kid goes to bed and you're like yeah I don't know. All right. I was busy. You just call. And you can pick it right up. You can pick it right up. People got kids. You just go see them.

You have dinner. Kid goes to bed and you're like, yeah, you're still Joel. You know? You're still Foo Jack. It's fun. Foo Jack. Yeah, dude. Foo rules.

Yeah, we all got a Foo Jack. Everyone. Foo Jack. Shout out. Foo Jack, Chad, Joel, Zach. That's a good group. Chad. We had a great group.

We sound like some good dudes, bro. Yeah. Garapay, dude. It was a good group my group from aurora when i was growing up they're still my best friends yeah i'm going out with my high school buddies in a couple weeks to do our fantasy football draft yeah it's fun as hell yeah they're the best yeah uh fujiak got married in guatemala in january we all went down there and it was so small but it was our group with all our wives and stuff and we're like this

fucking rules we're like if we knew this was gonna happen we're 16 like this fucking rules you know it's good when you when you're so young and everyone's kind of a scumbag but cool yeah not like a big like real scumbag but you're just like everyone's just kind of a piece of shit figuring themselves out and then you just watch people turn into like still fun still cool but like sensible adults yeah like responsible and shit what's funny is my friend chad's wife jenna she was the first wife and so she's watched all of us become mature right and she's like ushered in every wife like hello i know how it's done yeah and then i got to introduce katie to her and she was like oh you're my favorite one that sutter's ever date and she was

like oh awesome and i was like jenna rules jenna's that Sutter's ever dated. And she was like, oh, awesome. And I was like, Jenna rules. Jenna's the best. So yeah, hell yeah. I love that shit. That's a good scene. Is your crew all spread out or are they still in Colorado?

Most of them are in Colorado. I think four out of the six are in Colorado and then two of us are in New York. Okay, cool. So it works. Yeah, yeah.

Because like the one that's in New York, when the Nuggets are playing, I'm like, dude, come over. We'll get pizza and watch the Nuggets. And then you're dude come over. We'll get a pizza and watch the Nuggets Yeah, and then you're just watching it with your boy that like we were watching Nuggets playoff games when we were 15 together Yeah, you know and you're like, oh fuck this is crazy. That's awesome. Yeah, it's pretty wild fun as hell I'll do so we do one last section where we give out like our of the week award

So it's beef which is just something you're pissed off at babe and legend. It's a lot to think about I'm sorry No, I love it. Do you want to go last and see you got a little time to cook it up? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You guys cook it. You guys go, and then I'll come with mine. Copy. Chad, who's your beef of the week? My beef of the week is my dog's beef curtains.

So she's in a large, so she has a vagina. Yeah. She's in heat right now now so it's all swollen and so she's just peeing all night and so i couldn't sleep because she just you know wake me up to pee all night i think she has a uti i don't know but you know i'm just looking at this swollen badge i'm just like damn this thing's got to go down soon bro you're pretty cosmically connected to her because last night we did the pod and you were checking the nanny cam on her and you could tell something was up.

Yeah. So she's in heat and you haven't got her fixed? No. So the reason, so I was, my mom had a golden retriever. Yeah. And her golden retriever died at like four or five of cancer. Okay. And they said it's because she got spayed too early before her

first heat so you know it's mixed reviews on like what to do but from that vet we learned that you should wait until after so everything kind of matures our dog we adopted her and she was already fixed when we adopted her but she was a puppy she was like three months old when we got her oh she was already fixed before that yes i mean some vets say that that's better we're worried she's fine but like i dude the thought of like i'd be like i fucking care i love my dog so much but when you see a problem like that with him you're like this sucks dude yeah because you can't talk to them yeah keep like what's up with your puss yeah dude is your puss all right because she's barking you know she's not the one if you can't talk to her yeah you can't talk about her puss dude well because she's in heat too so i'm like are you just trying to fuck that's so like are you just trying to mark your territory yeah she's just horned up dude

yeah it's a frustrating level but then she's just peeing everywhere and i'm like you poor thing because they're so sweet yeah you know and and it's also too like to your point about the i never know what the you know there's always mixed reviews on like what's healthy what's not it's sort of like diet whether you can't you can't eat nuts you can't blah blah and you're like i don't i'll go to one vet she'll say one thing i'll go to another she'll say another i'm like i don't yeah i'll just do whatever i feel is right but um and i'll take obviously the expert's advice but uh yeah but you gotta trust yourself you do have to like you take the expert's advice but i feel that too where you're like but i do have to kind of like i have my instincts on these yeah yeah yeah and it's just i think it's

okay yeah absolutely so that's your beef that's my beef yeah just just her uh her urinary issues right now yeah dude mine might be a bit like too macro and a little hard to pin down but my beef yeah just just her uh her urinary issues right now yeah dude mine might be a bit like too macro and a little hard to pin down but my beef is all the fucking bullshit i'm late to the party on it and i don't want to get us into hot water but like just like sometimes when like celebrities get put on blast for like look if it's like crazy criminal shit i totally understand it but like i guess specific to the jonah hill thing and i've been like waiting to talk about it because i was a little bit like, it's first, I was like, it's just not my business. Like if he was my neighbor,

if he was dating my friend, then I'd be like, all right, yeah, let's not invite him over. He's a douche, blah, blah, blah. But I'm like, I don't have to hang out with them. So to me, it's like on that level of thing where it's like, I don't know. It's just not my timing felt weird. Yeah. It was, yeah, I guess to the initial start of it, I just meant like all the fucking bullshit fucking bullshit i'm like i just can't believe i'm even like been juggling it for a month and that's my choice but yeah i'm like i just i don't know he's not my neighbor i don't i don't live next to the guy i get it well then the the people on twitter or social media are like i guess he's a piece of shit now and you know and you're like yeah we're very fast to judge let me check your text messages you know what i mean like yeah you probably had someone from a previous relationship where you were shitty and i think

also people don't even recognize that they are that person like i bet you if i was like well i bet you you've been a piece of shit they're like they genuinely look at me like no i haven't yeah and then i'd be like well have you ever cheated on someone they're like well kind of that's different you didn't understand the situation yeah it was very complicated everyone's always situational yeah that's what it always is no no dude nah dude nah you a bad dude bro nah i'm just like nah dude nah you ain't that good nah bud and not everybody's that bad yeah it's that group thing too like oh this is how i'm supposed to think now and i think it's at it's at max levels right now there's stuff in my face with it and i'll eat it because i don't know

any better but i'm i want to it's not making it's not good for me i get it i get that i get that getting mad about that because you're like what the fuck dude yeah i'm judging all these fucking people yeah i'm like dude i'm i'm not and you don't want to do that no and i want to be real about my mistakes and not be afraid to say i have mistakes because i fucking get it because people turn on me yeah like i'm rock solid basically i'm just i'm insecure and defensive you know and also why are you wearing those bikinis what are you doing? Exactly. I'm not a bad guy.

You go way too hard on Jonah Hillside. I've sent some texts. I'm the one out there. Why are you surfing with dudes? But look, I've apologized. I've apologized a lot, too. Apologies go a long way. Yeah. I love the way you put it in the text.

He's like, look, I respect your talent as a surfer and your skill. Just no boys. You rip. No dudes. No dudes. It's tough in surf culture, too. Keep the wieners away from you. Right. You fucking rip respect that and that's why i date you but just you can't be fucking putting out here with that sweet ass fucking body yeah yeah if i see you kelly slater i'm gonna lose my shit i'm gonna

get shit out of you bro all right so what's your beef of the week? My beef of the week is family with my grandma. I found out my grandma has been lying to me for 10 years and keeping money that I send to her, and she's been stacking it up and then turning around and telling me she doesn't have any money. And then she broke her hip this week, and we have to start doing all this stuff

to find out where to put her and all that stuff and someone reached out to me it was like yeah i got her bank info and told me and i was like like it happened today and i was like on the drive down here like what the whoa so it's weird because your family could do up to you when you're trying to help them and then you're like god damn dude that's my beef's my beef. That's a good beef. But it's also, she's coming out of hip surgery today, so I can't really see myself being like, what's up, bitch? What a lie to me, huh?

So it sucks. It sucks. I love her. I love her a lot. And it's just like a real thing of like, damn it, dude, this is really gonna. Bro therapy 101, right?

You gotta juggle, I love these people and they let me down tremendously. It's that two distinct realities that are just living side by side all the time. Yeah, dude. Dude, look, if your grandma really fucked up like that, I'll go rent her from the town.

Whose car are we taking? Yeah, dude. You and Chad will roll over there. I just hope she's okay. I hope she gets back into good health where I can bring this up. Yeah. That's what you want.

You're just going to be like, so what's up with that? Are you going to come at her full barrel? Oh, I'll be like, you're not getting any checks from me anymore. And she'll be like, why? And I'll be like, slide that paper over. There you go right there. I'll tell you why.

That's why. You've been stacking this cash. Dude, that's the slidey thing, too, when it's a grandparent who does the- Well, she's from the Great Depression, too. So I get why she's doing it. Yeah. She's from Oklahoma in the Great Depression. Miserly attitude kept her alive.

I understand that, but you're like, dude, I've been helping you, and you've been making me feel bad like I haven't been doing enough, and you've been stacking cheddar. Damn. And I can't touch that money. So you're like, all right. It's that thing in life where someone disappoints you you're like like why why is this why is this your parents like i'm not mad i'm disappointed brutal and then it comes all the way around i'm disappointed in you yeah you're disappointed in

me for smoking weed at 14 i'm disappointed in you for stacking cash not fucking telling me the truth i will say my parents are real geez that way for most part, where if I call them out on it, I'm like, you disappointed me. I can see it register in their eyes. My mom is real cool about that. My grandma, she's 96, so she's kind of like, she's just lawless.

I've been through world wars. Yeah, she's like, shut up. Whatever, your grandpa killed Japanese people, you pussy. And I'm like, I know, but you couldn't. There's some truth there, Jim. You could have fucking told me you were just taking the checks. That's true. All right, Chad, just right that's true all right chad what's your baby of the week or who's your baby

of the week uh dude my brother he's uh he's having a baby boy hey congratulations third kid all right dude yeah fun uncle dude yeah so uh psyched for him he's so he has a daughter and then a son and then another son on the way i'd be badass do they have the name yet no we were trained names because he he made his um his first son a junior okay yeah all right so now that's a lot of pressure on that second yeah yeah so we're gonna be like why are you the fucking follow-up and i'm not dude yeah we were talking like we were just pitching all of our names that's fun like my dad robert yeah should be bob yeah hell yeah dude well those names are unique now too because everything's going like holden or caden and like yeah just be like a frank yeah there's no franks bobs she's

like franklin it goes by frank frankie dude i love frankie's a good one frank's fun yeah um dude my babe of the week is uh mikelin, coach of the Pittsburgh Steelers. I just don't shout him out enough. I'm a big Steelers fan, and I love the way they do it with coaches. I've only had basically two throughout my lifetime. Noel might have been there at the tail end. Yeah, you've had Cower and Tomlin. Cower and Tomlin.

Both great, and both just look fucking perfect on the sidelines. Just look like what you want a football coach to look like. Me and my brother were just watching Tomlin clips yesterday. He's like, has anyone ever worn aviators better? They just match his face perfect.

And he just has great sayings, you know? He's the best. Like, there's no shortcuts. He'll just say something like that, just leave it there, not even explain it,

but there's no shortcuts. And you're like, it's fucking A-right, man. Thanks for leading these men, dude. Yeah, dude. I'll follow your lead. My babe of the week

is my buddy I grew up with, Mike McDaniel, who's the Miami Dolphins coach. Your buddy's with him? I grew up with him. Yeah, like I was at a Dolphins practice. Dude, he's a legend. I was at a Dolphins practice three weeks ago. Or two weeks ago. Is he as cool as he seems? Yeah, that's him. That's him. Dude, I was, we were

best friends in seventh and eighth grade. Did you see it? Did you see it coming? Yeah, he was a genius as far as football went. And then he was undersized and played in college at Yale and then got in the NFL 20 years ago. Dude, those are the guys, the undersized guys who play ball at the Ivy Leagues. There's a lot going on there. There's grit and there's head.

But he's my babe of the week because the new Madden came out and there's nothing cooler than seeing how they made him look on Madden. I love it. Do you have a photo? Yeah, dude. Let me see if I have the old one. I think I have it in my favorites. I'm looking right now.

Dude, they made him... His first year as a head coach was last year and they made him look kind of like a stoner. They made him look like... They gave him the rookie treatment where they don't do it right. Well, they made him look like how he looked in San Francisco. When he was in San Francisco, he kind of had longer hair or or whatever i think i swear i had it in here

i'll find it but uh my buddy sent it to me and i was like dude this fucking rules but they um i'm i haven't seen the new madden so i don't know how they made him look this year because now he's like living in miami He's like slick looking, you know what I mean? He's real cool. I mean, he's funny. Like when they mic him up,

he's super funny. Yeah. Like him and the two, him and two have great interactions. I'm telling you right now, man, press conferences. Oh man.

They made it. They made this shirt, which rules the Miami Mike shirt. If he wins an Espy or something, are you going to help with like the speech? I don't need to help him. He's funny as hell. He's got a dial.

Yeah. He wouldn't even, he wouldn't even need my help. He'd be like, I got it. Did you guys used to talk ball a lot growing up? Yeah, so what we'd do is Saturday nights, we'd stay up late and watch SNL. And then we'd wake up crazy early and watch NFL primetime. Oh, dude. And it's like, dude, it's so cool.

Because I'm a 49ers fan, and he was a 49er for five years was he the oc there yeah he became the oc and so it became this whole thing of that's how they made him look last year it's not super far away not bad but it's funny as hell because you're like dude that's sick that's just it's just your friend you grew up with and they make them an animated madden guy you know what i mean you're like oh all right, fuck yeah. And that's great. And you've like HBO special. Yeah. Oh,

it's, it's wild dude. Because like, um, we were both the nerds of our group in middle school. Like our middle school friends, the guys I was telling you about the six guys I was friends with high school. That was in high school.

I became friends with all those guys in middle school. It was like me, McDaniel and all these dudes. And they were like the bad kids. And we were like the pussies of the group. And so it was cool that like we were bullied. And then we grew up and we're like. And I go and stay at his house.

I'm going down there for the. He grew up a Broncos fan. So I'm going to week three. Broncos at Dolphins. It's their home opener. Dude, they got a squad. We were laughing about it. Best Madden team. Oh, yeah. Right. Because their home opener. Dude, they got a squad. We were laughing about it. Best Madden team.

Oh, yeah, right? Because all that speed. Dude, it's crazy. My buddy Dez plays Madden. He's like super awesome at Madden. And he's been playing it. He had the beta copy and shit. And he's like, yo, your boys Dolphins team's looking nice.

Yeah, because they just got to fly around. And the Niners are awesome. So I'm ready for Madden when I get home next week. Yeah, they'll be good. I was laughing because the Tua thing is just like, is he going to stay alive? It's crazy. He's heavier, dude.

He's bigger. He's a worker. He will do anything to get it. I went to practice. I was like, Tua's fucking big, dude. So I'm excited for this season. I'm very excited. Who do you pull more for now, the Dolphins or the Niners?

Well, they played each other last year, and it was the first time in my life i didn't outright go for the niners it was the first time in my life where i was like come on dolphins and then the niners started winning i was like fucking look at that defense niners are so fucking good because i love the 49ers that's like a religion to me but i love mcdaniel and it's it's been fun watching him become a coach of the dolphins that's awesome chad who's your legend of the week dude my legend of the week uh have you ever had cheese on a stick no no it's no it's like a corn dog but instead of a hot dog it's cheese what kind of cheese we're talking well dude you can get pepper jack or wait the whole stick is cheese with the the corn dog. Oh, with the wrapper and browned it.

Okay. All right. Hot dog on a stick. Yeah. Go to the hot dog on a stick. Go to any fair. Oh, see fairs happening, I think, still. And they have cheese on a stick?

Near Irvine, they have cheese on a stick. I'll go. I love Pepper Jack. I love Pepper Jack. I love a Pepper Jack stick. You know, it's a grilled cheese on a stick. I love it. That's perfect.

I love it. I'm on board. And the corn dog exterior, which I think is, is i mean i don't know if you want to say that it's more tasty than sourdough but it's the best it's it's up there it's up there sourdough is my favorite shit but i yeah i get what you're saying yeah yeah yeah but the breading on the corn dog doesn't exist anywhere else no no it's very corn dog specific yeah and it always works yeah i mean you can get a nasty corn dog if it's like frozen or something, but at fairs you're always safe. Yeah.

Depending on how you define safe. Your tummy's not safe, but the taste is safe. Yeah. Hell yeah. Yeah. That's a good pick, dude. Yeah. What's yours?

Dude, I'll go food too. My legend of the week is these chips that Aaron gave me before the pod that were 17 grams of protein, 3 grams of carbs. So you think they're going to taste like shit, but they taste like lettuce that's been spiced up with Mexican sauce. It's fucking delicious. I don't know. Maybe there's some, like when I see numbers like that, I'm like, there's something not to be trusted here. Like there's got to be a deeper chemical like compound in here.

That's eroding something valuable in me. But I got to say, I'm going to go buy them, dude. Those chips. Do you want to shout it out? Aaron? I don't have a way. Who knows what the name of them are? Well, next episode knows

dude it's a cliffhanger dude dude maybe i'll text jake our editor and be like hey maybe throw up an image of these yeah that might that might work for the next you're gonna bring people back to the next episode to be like what are those chips it's a hook yeah hook them in they taste like tacos right do you have some no that's what aaron was telling me they're good dude they taste like tacos aaron yeah they're called like court courts quaint it's like a it's a nutrition brand for sure hell yeah well nutritious chips rule yeah they're really nice my legend of the week is queens of the stone age oh yeah i just saw them at forest hills in new york and i've seen them like over 15 times and they were as good as i've ever seen them that's awesome and

i fucking loved it that's your band that's my band number one all time that one song i'm gonna forget it from the new one or no it's from like 2000 not no one no one knows is great but um go with the flow i like you think i ain't worth a dollar oh yeah that's first track off songs for the deaf i i uh i always i play that when i work out yeah hell yeah and i'll imagine two things one me in a toyota super doing a burnout nice or two me base jumping hell yeah hell yeah that would be i haven't done either i kind of want to do both as the yelling as, as you base jump. Or being on the side of a plane skydiving and doing a backflip off the plane as soon as it starts jamming. The life out now! And you'd be like, wow.

But they ruled, dude. They were really good. I think I looked it up. The dude was the dude who was in the group that was there for the terrorist attacks, right? Yeah, Josh Homme drums in Eagles of Death Metal, and he's best friends with Jesse Hughes, who is the lead singer of Eagles of Death Metal. So Josh Homme wasn't at the shooting.

Oh, he wasn't there? He wasn't there, but he, because he was on the road with Queens of the Stone Age, but he went back when they did the concert after a year with them, like showed up, because they're best friends and they grew up together. That's nice. But yeah, dude, I fucking love Josh Homme and Queens of the Stone Age. Chad, quote quote of the week we'll take it home here just um all right mine's this is gonna be a repeat i can't think of anything so oh wait but i skipped

you what do you mean oh you just did it queens of the stone age um some american pie oh nice um this is from uh with stifler and and um what's that actor's name jason big oh chris klein chris klein oh yeah from sean william scott and oz yeah yeah yeah hell yeah strider or no i said strider stifler fuck why do you have to be so insensitive all the time that was a good beat yeah what whatever that's my quote yeah when he's trying to look cool in front of mino savari or whatever yeah but i mean sean william scott's what it's just it was an all-time performance it put him in like that sean penn spicoli range yeah it really did really did, man. He got a fucking, he got a good run off that. Have you seen Goon?

Yeah, loved it. That's the best. Loved it with Liev Schreiber. Yeah. Great. Is it a heavy in that? Yeah, so good. Dude, mine's from the Hitman Heart.

This is him. So like Hitman seems like the dude, but when he was on the road, he wasn't the most faithful dude. But the way he talks about it is, is like compelling. He says, I was proud and guilty all at once.

In this dichotomy of conscience, the guilt never diluted the pride. I suppose some may judge me harshly. If only they could walk a mile in my shoes. They might be surprised to find that they couldn't lace them up fast enough. When all was said and done, my fondness for women kept me out of trouble. It may have even saved my life when you consider how many wrestlers died from their drug and alcohol addictions. Okay. He's being like,

hey, I could have been a fucking drug dealer, a drug addict, but instead I was getting that pussy. Yeah, I like him ranking the addictions and even being competitive about that. I mean, mine was the smartest and probably the best one to have. Mine cut me the safest in my body,

the most active. And it also means chicks like me the most, which is kind of cooler than just being good at Coke. Yeah, hell yeah. That's fucking hilarious. No, that vice is way better. I didn't die from it. Fuck, what's my fucking quote of the week?

Probably, I've been talking about Young Frankenstein a lot, the Mel Brooks movie. And I just, the part that, there's a quote where gene wilder is talking to you know dr frankenstein frankenstein is talking to igor and uh he's like where did you get the brain that i put in him and he goes you won't be mad you promise you won't be mad he goes i will not be mad it makes me laugh so hard every time. Because he's like on the edge, you know, when you're like really pissed. And you're like, where did you get that brain?

And he goes, you won't be mad. He goes, I will not be mad. And you're like, you're clearly mad. Have you been thinking about it? Because Jeremy Allen White, the dude from The Bear, looks like Gene Wilder. Oh, yeah. Everyone's been bringing that up. Yeah.

Is that why it's been kicking around? I just love it. I watch Young Frankenstein like once a year. But I fucking, they were like saying like, oh oh he's like gene wilder but but like gene wilder was the man energy-wise are very different yeah but they do look a little similar yeah hell yeah oh these are the chips do you guys want to try them i'll try them yeah quest quest they have a cool name quest same as quest bars. I think so. Oh, that's who makes them No

Did he taste like the place tastes like lettuce? Yeah? Yeah, well damn Talk us up. Yeah that rock that is really good. Good. Right fucking real good Taco Sup. Yeah. That rock, dude. That is really good. That is fucking real good. All right. Good job, Quest.

Thank you, guys. You and your Oreo bars and this shit. This fucking rules. Yeah, they got a good R&D department. Yeah, they do. We went to Taco Bell. Their R&D department's fucking... Dude, we're not even sponsored by them.

I'm really... This would be a great ad. Maybe they'll pay me. Their R&D is so good, dude. Oh, man. This is fun as hell, man. Dan, thank you for coming. Thank you for coming, man.

It was a pleasure. Thanks for having me on Pleasure If you need advice These guys are really nice You wanna know What to do Where to go When you need someone to guide you

It's nice to have Who's beside you Go free Go free Let's go deep I'm going deep Get in there Deep