Going Deep with Chad and JT - EP 311 - Strider Joins LIVE

Episode Date: October 5, 2023

Strider Wilson, the Neil Degrasse Tyson of T-DARTing joins the pod live!  Come see us on Tour! STRIDER will be in San Jose and Chico with us! Tickets on http://www.chadandjt.com Call us, leave a 60 sec voicemail with your issue or question: 323-418-2019or write in to chadgoesdeeppodccast(at)gmail.com Check out the reddit for some dank convo: https://www.reddit.com/r/ChadGoesDeep/ Episode Sponsered by:AG1: Try AG1 and get a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D, AND 5 Free AG1 Travel Packs, with your first purchase! Go to drinkAG1.com/GODEEP. That’s drinkAG1.com/GODEEP.  Helix Sleep: 25% off  all mattress orders +2 free pillows https://www.helixsleep.com/godeep  Code HELIXPARTNER25

I'm gonna wait for oh to quote sexy red's pound town my coochie pink my booty hole brown uh guys welcome to the podcast dude no I was listening to that song earlier today who is that sexy red she's just on Theo's podcast oh cool yeah yeah well uh it's a good podcast but she's a rapper from uh st louis and i listened to her song because i like her go cards saw a clip from the podcast air music bangs yeah and like the first song i listened to that was like one of the first lyrics i was like this is amazing fuck yeah fuck yeah coochie pink booty hole brown oh bro straight to the point What else could you want?

That is all I want I mean, we're a spoiled species, you know When you want more than that Yeah It really simplifies it when you think about it Just a nice pink one and a nice brown one underneath A brown booty hole Well, yeah, that's the right color You know what?

I never even Shit, man I never even really looked at a butthole Oh I I know you're a butthole guy I'm all Yeah Oh you like that

Oh every morning I love that Every morning I spread them I'll be like Hey you know I'll ask On himself Yeah

Well you do I was just gonna ask You probably have a great butthole From sunning it so much Yeah yeah So my girlfriend will be like Hey I have to I have to like

I have to use the bathroom I have to shower And get ready for work And I'll just be in the mirror Just like spread it out And just like Nice I'm just like Babe after you have to like I have to use the bathroom I have to shower and get ready for work and I'll just be in the mirror just like spread it out and just like nice baby do you think my balloon not needs work use that fog to create a mystery wipe that fog away from the steam of the shower see that be hole in there yeah that is like the future like cuz you know health

is wealth like the future of like signifying to people that you're like an elite person is like how many striations you have on your balloon-bottom butt. Right. Or lines the more wealth. Yeah, I think you want to have 12, according to Dr. Simmons. Atia Simmons. Yeah, he knows. He's a doctor.

Yeah, he's a great butthole guy. He's the best. You've got to have a butthole guy. You need to know a plumber, you need to know a lawyer, and you need to know a butthole guy. I did PRP and stem cells in great butthole guy He's the best You gotta have a butthole guy You need to know a plumber You need to know a lawyer And you need to know a butthole guy I did PRP and stem cells in my butthole Really?

Wow 20 grand Dude I'm thinking about Right up the pooper What do you think would happen If you put TRT in your butthole? Bro Yeah cause everyone thinks about

Well people do it in the butt cheek But if you want to get straight into the bloodstream Go through the rectum. It's the most optimal. Are you laughing at? I've heard that's what the liver king does. Yeah, what's up with him? Is he buff still?

He's back on roids. Is he really? He had a video. He's like, so I'm back on the juice. Just feels like shit, huh? I'm sure, dude. Yeah, that's got to be rough, dude. Yeah, why'd he get off of him?

Just to make people happy? Yeah, you's got to be rough, dude. Yeah, why'd he get off of him? Just to make people happy? Yeah, you know what? I get why he didn't disclose it early on, but he should have just disclosed it early on. I've been like, I'm a WWE wrestler. He should have owned it from the beginning. Yeah. He had to do it.

I'm just going to hop in right to the ads real quick. Oh, shit, sorry. Guys, we are on tour. The three of us, next week, we are coming to San Jose, San Jose Improv, next Thursday, October 12th. And then Chico, the El Rey Theater, October 13th. That's a spooky day. Chico, that whole area, I want to see you out there

Chico parties Chico parties Everyone I know Who went to Chico State For college Came back with A life altering injury And we will too

A lot of torn ACLs Parties Yeah A lot of like I'm on a cane For a couple years Big time Driving a van

With my teeth now Type injuries Whoa David Crazy stuff Falling off balconies Wow I know A lot of people Falling off balconies. Wow. I know. A lot of people

falling off balconies. Put up some rails over there, dude. They don't have rails in Chico. Oh, dude. So all the balconies are just like

Infinity style. Wow. It's beautiful for views, but bad for gargling a keg. It's epic for like dangling your feet off, but you know, there's earthquakes

and there's dudes wrestling. And then driving a van with your teeth, you go like that and you steer. You can get anywhere you need to go. I will say, dude, everyone I know has had to draw a van with their teeth because they went to Chico State and got injured. Their jaws look amazing from all that teeth work.

You know what I mean? Yeah. Because when you're like this, and a van's steering wheel's thick, so can you really get a good grip on that? Like if you're doing highway driving, so strong for your mandible. That's how that guy got the idea for Jawsercise. That guy went to Chico. Oh, yeah. I saw he had a limp. Yeah, he's like, I drove my van

for two years with my teeth and my face just looked fantastic. I had incredible cheekbones. He was doing stick shift too so he'd have to gulk the clutch and make it happen. My buddy Brick, who went to Chico and got injured and then ended up driving a van with his teeth,

he was also driving Uber while he was doing the teeth driving. So simultaneously, while he was getting the chin all fixed up, he's making bills. He ends up spending that money on a hair transplant. Guy's never looked better. Amazing. But was he able to sell as many of his albums as he wanted to because he wasn't able to talk while steering?

No, it was tough. It was a little through sell as many of his albums as he wanted to because he wasn't able to talk while steering? No, it was tough. It was a little through the wire-ish. Wow. And you said gluck, gluck for the stick shift. Does that mean deep throat? You'd have to deep throat the stick shift. Apply the clutch and then get into third. Wow.

Like an octopus. Damn. I wonder if there's a Chico NASCAR driver who's just like a pro. Guaranteed. For sure. Guaranteed For sure Guaranteed Dude I watched a good NASCAR video the other day

One guy He's like I don't know One guy had like a Bad haircut Like a Cristiano Ronaldo Because he was like Hey man

Why'd you come in heavy On me on turn five He grabs the other guy By his like Rubber suit lapel He goes like Get your hand off me Then he grips him again

And he just cracks him dude Amazing Smoked him, dude. Punched him in the face. Hot take. Best part of motorsports is not the actual race. It's what goes on around it. Fights or a crash.

It's the fights and the pits. When they get pissed off at each other, because it's road rage. You're watching road rage like, hey, asshole, why'd you fucking cut me off, dude? You got an attitude problem? And the other guy'sage like, hey, asshole, why'd you fucking cut me off, dude? You got an attitude problem? And the other guy's never like, my bad. He's always like, mind your business, dude. The guy's changing tires around them. Oh, yeah.

That's fantastic. That's cool. The speed. There's a fight and tire changing. If I've got a daughter, excuse me, if I've got a daughter, I'm telling a married dude in a pit crew. He can change a tire. He can work as a team. He can change a tire. Yeah.

He can work as a team. Yeah. He's probably pretty jacked. Some of those guys are like D3 offensive linemen. What do they go do? Pit crew. And they got that one job. Those fucking wheels are heavy as fuck.

They're like a long snapper where it's like a single function. They just push that lever down to get the car up. Mm-hmm. I watched, that was like an ESPN feature I think we watched together in 2008. That sounds right. I think that is what, exactly what I'm envisioning. Yeah. Do we watch so much fucking good TV together? Well, bro, the thing about SportsCenter is you can watch it about four

times in a row. The same highlights over and over again. Oh, yeah. Here's the Orioles game for the ninth time. When you're on SportsCenter, like, view three and you're like, she still hasn't texted me back yet, you gotta go to bed. Yeah. Or maybe you stay up. She's busy, though. She's busy. It's 3 a.m. She's busy doing stuff. She might be busy. Yeah. Yeah. Or maybe you stay up. She's busy, though. She's busy.

It's 3 a.m. She's busy doing stuff. She might be busy. She's sleeping. She might be at a shoot. Like a photo shoot, though? Oh, fuck. What do you mean?

I don't know. She's got like a photo shoot. Oh, fuck. Who's taking pictures of her? Every girl that's texting's on a photo shoot, dude. They do like to get dolled up and get some photos in. Guys, we're kind of like that. We're L.A. guys.

We're more feminine. We like taking photos and stuff. We do photo shoots all the time I gotta say lately though Is I've put on some weight And I'm in my dad phase When I see photos of myself I'm like what the fuck

Are you doing being photographed Yeah but guess what You're not just putting on Any old weight You're putting on You're recruiting fibers I had to put on some Some rock

In case you know Someone came over And thought I was like A nephew instead of the father Right Dude that's scary Do you think dad strength Has kicked in for you yet someone came over and thought I was like a nephew instead of the father. Dude, that's scary. Do you think dad strength has kicked in for you yet? Are you moving shit?

I was wrestling Jake, our cameraman today. And no, he's a good wrestler. He's from Iowa. He's from Iowa. And he like, actually, I've never wrestled, so I have no technique. But he was like hand fighting me and kind of whipping me around. I think, I don't know. I love you, Jake.

I think I could take him, but he was moving moving me so i don't know if i got that dad strength yet but it's coming um before we get into more dad strength we have new merch coming out on friday uh dude this shirt transcend your worries bro look at this dude this merch is fucking sick I'm telling you right now My dank wife Wants that That fucking crew neck

Sweater And dude I love a long sleeve tee Yeah My girlfriend wears this every night It's beautiful Dude I love this merch And dude that long sleeve tee Is a power move to weather

You wear the shorts Plus the long sleeve tee It's like figure me out weather I was gonna do that I was Yeah But it was like 80 It's 80 right now i know by the way degrees yeah you can sign up early for early access at shop.chat and jt.com get your threads we're also if you're on tour we have other dates we got nashville charlotte new york um boeman. Bozeman sold out, sorry. Minneapolis, Detroit, Denver.

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Dude, she's got like the GDP. I think you guys are missing the convo they want us to have. Her at Kelsey. Are you sick of it? No. I'm not sick of it at all. Well, people online are mad because ESPN won't stop posting about it. You know?

Look. I don't give a shit. You don't at all? No. That's perfect. This is business, dude. This is capitalism, dude. A lot of people that watch ESPN, they're fired up on that, dude.

They want. Look, this is the conversation and this is what's getting the clicks that's what's gonna happen dude you know and look Taylor she cruises out and I honestly loved her dating move where the NFL reached out and they're like hey can we use your songs she's like nah

I'm just watching my freaking boyfriend play some rock dude I love that dude can I be honest you know I said I'm a football guy now I became a football guy now I became a football guy Because of Taylor Whoa I thought you were gonna say Our Jags

I mean it's the Jags dude But I didn't become a Jag I didn't start watching football Until Taylor And then I saw Trevor Lawrence's hair And I was like

Oh Jags Amazing Do you wish you was dating Trevor Lawrence Instead of Kelsey Um Dude Huge question Um No I like I like is dating Trevor Lawrence instead of Kelsey? Dude, huge question.

No, I like to think that Trevor is just slinging dick everywhere. For sure. He's for sure, dude. King of the castle, dude. He's got Prima Rock down on all that Jacksonville ass. What are you guys thinking for

Halloween costumes this year? Dude, I want my girlfriend and I to both be stormtroopers. That's cool. Yeah, to walk into a party and they're like, who is that? Yeah, but bro,

is Lola going to be a Wookiee? She's a stormtrooper too. You've got to incorporate the dog. Okay, I love that. She's a stormtrooper too. You know what we're going to do? We're going to do... She's Yoda, dude.

She's Yoda. Dude, that'd be amazing. Yoda. Yeah. Did you see A-Rod kelsey pretty good i saw yeah well yeah what do you say i heard about this but i don't know exactly because uh kelsey's doing ads for pfizer and i think he gets like a shot in him like a vaccine and rogers was on mcafee and called him mr pfizer dude good burn. But is that a little bit of jealousy? Because Aaron Rodgers likes

being the most famous guy in the NFL, and then Kelsey is like, you know, outpacing him right now. Oh, big time, dude. And Rodgers famously lied about getting vaxxed. Kelsey, I mean, who knows if he's actually vaxxed, but hey, he's making some coin, whatever.

Yeah, dude. You know, Rogers would love to have Taylor write a fucking song about him, dude. If Big Pharma came to you and was like, we want to sponsor History's Dank, would you take it? Big Pharma? Yeah. Yeah, bro. Big Pharma, Saudi oil. History's Dank's sponsored by Oxycontin.

Yeah, Oxycontin, drugin drug deal anything bad if the price is right good good and i'll try it i'll take the oxycontin i'll put it in my body because you know what i'm not gonna give an ad that i haven't tried yeah i'll try it there's a sheik who wants to you know see me spread my butt right and his product is hey spread your butt for a sheik if that's what he's selling yeah i'm gonna spread my butt for him or if you have to like torture a journalist yeah i'll torture a journalist absolutely yeah yeah like today we're gonna cover the firebombing of Tokyo, but first... Let's torture a freaking journalist. For sure. And maybe I'll make $45 for that.

This is live. Yeah, we're going. This is live. None of this is getting cut. No, it's all in real time. People are responding to it. What do you think about that? There's a good amount of people watching.

Dude, how's your fantasy team doing? Fair to Midland. You 2-2? The answer's fair to Midland. I'm 2-2. That's nice. I'm 1-3. So I'm looking up at you.

That looks good. I know. If we lose this week, season's over. No. Yeah, 1-4. Guys in our league panic so much. It's not over. Because you can make the playoffs being 6-8.

You need your splits. So you've gone 1-3. That's not over. Because you can make the playoffs be in 6-8. You need your splits. So you've gone 1-3. That's not an ideal split. Our league, a 500 record plus some points gets you in the playoffs. I think guys are making willy-nilly deals. A guy who's 4-0

in our league is trading away his players. I've never seen that happen. 4-0? Kyle? Yeah. Who did he trade away? He traded away James james cook and um fuck someone else for josh jacobs and a couple other guys it actually was a pretty fair deal i think it was a fair deal but a deal that i was like why you're four and oh why are you changing cook is better than jacobs yeah and james is a great keeper option. He got fleeced. Yeah, in the long run, yeah.

But Jacobs, I think, will end up being a beast. Dude, I'll tell you, I made a huge mistake, and there's a lot of cognitive bias involved in this, and I need to talk to some behavioralists to figure out what I was thinking. But Jameer Gibbs. Bro, bad move. Well, we already talked about this. I know what you were thinking.

Can I say it? What? Because during the draft, you guys were bidding for Olave. You lost out on Olave, and then you got very horny for Gibbs. You were a prisoner of the moment there. But you know what else was the thing I think I did? I don't know much about Jameer Gibbs. Guess who I knew a lot about?

Everybody else. So I knew enough about everybody else to talk myself out of them. And with Gibbs, it was all upside. It was all potential. Because he's kind of small. But, dude, honestly, in your defense, he's been getting poached a lot, dude. Just give the fucking guy the rock. He can punch it in.

It's not happening. They drafted him 12th just to have him ride the pine. It's brutal. It's brutal. I think there's a lot of guy in that in that boat i don't like to see it happen but at this point there's another bias going on sunk costs true i'd rather lose with him than trade him and watch him succeed with someone else that's always a fear who has kelsey our love this guy coolest guy now our buddy brooks he's in the chat right now he's in Dead Last

Brooks we love you brother He's in Dead Last? Hey stick in there Yeah he's gonna be Going to Danny Land Real quick We call it Danny Land Because our buddy

Who finished Dead Last First His name was Danny Great guy I've been I've been Dead Last I've been there It takes a strong man

To be there And come out And Brooks has He has what it takes to come out of there. Who's first right now? The guy, Kyle. Our buddy Kyle, who traded away his, not his best assets, but he traded away a lot of his assets.

In my opinion... Did he trade away Jalen Hurts and Cook for Jacobs? That's correct. And someone else. He got someone else. Jacobs and someone else. Oh, he got that good-ass tight end from the Lions. Laporta. He might have needed a tight end who got mcafree oh man he's a stud our buddy luke who's a fucking fucking tanker dude him and his brother are good look we love we love luke and his bro um great guys both of them tanked and and, I'm a big anti-tanker.

It's not illegal. I've never tanked. But you still got last place. I had a bad season. I was very bad. I'm a dumb idiot. I'm a dumb idiot with the way I played. But guess what?

I have honor. And I'll die. An honest man's pillow is his integrity. So you're saying this. You're saying there's a lack of honor in seeing that your season's not going the way you want and preparing for next year. Yeah. That's not tactically intelligent or strategic.

It is strategically intelligent, but what it does is it ruins two seasons because then you can bolster a team for that year where a guy who had a good draft and did everything right gets fucked now because a guy threw a few more assets another player's way. But doesn't he have the opportunity to make the same deal? Yeah. Not necessarily because it might not be that good of a deal.

He drafted well, and why would he get rid of those players who are playing really, really well? And it's oftentimes not the guy who's in the lead. It's the guy who's in second and chasing the guy in the lead who makes that, in my opinion, kneecapping deal. But that's capitalism. Someone does something great. Another guy comes in, does it for a little bit cheaper, a little bit worse.

Kneecap's the guy who does it great. That's how it works out. Is that what we're talking about? I mean, that's everything in life. And really what we're talking about is how you please your wife. So if you're going to please your wife, you've got to find a guy. Someone else is going to do it for cheaper. Exactly.

You've got to find a guy who can do it a little bit cheaper, a little bit better. Yeah, call the plumber over. Got some pipes for you to clean. Hey, here's the thing. The drain's fine. Toilet's working great. Fire stuff's up to code. Go in the bedroom.

Check something out. I'll be back in 30. Go in a fat burger. You want anything? Yeah, you want anything? You like skinny fries or steak fries? Let me know. Text me exactly how you want it.

You a mayo dude? You a mayo dude or you know a mayo dude? This is a house where we like to give it to people the way they want it. I want my wife to have a nice time. Okay? This is, has cuckolding talk ever been more at a premium and more hot off the press? I'll tell you right now. Ever been more at a premium And more hot off the press

I'll tell you right now I'll take cuckolding talk All day long Over sibling talk In my pornos Oh yeah That was big Incest used to be the thing

Get it out Yeah keep it in the theater Keep it to Sam Shep I don't want to yuck anyone's yums But I do want to yuck those yums What's going on Even like steps Yeah JT you're right

Leave it to the Eugene O'Neill's, the fucking heavy hitters. Yeah, Savant Guard. If you want that, you better go sit through two acts before you get to it. Yeah, there's got to be some ideas around it, some systems of politics and whatnot. Take place in a bygone era, maybe 1922. It's all got to be before 1960. Yeah, what's going on in 1922?

And it's not in any city. It's in the South or we're in South America. Thank you. Chad, what did you say? Sorry, I'm horny for what you said. Stepsisters? No, no. Stepsisters is fair game to wait to.

Oh, if it's two chicks. If it's two chicks, yeah, we're cool. And if it's a mom and a daughter. If it's a mom teaching her daughter, we're cool. She needs to learn. I've been watching one of them. It's not real, but mom and a daughter. No, no, it a daughter we're cool i've been watching one of them there's it's not real but mom no no it's real it's real dude the stories are real dude what are you talking about dude i'm telling you something dude don't make me bust open your dome with some reality

right now dude wait what did that shit even crack into i got news for you dude they film it it's fake they're actors no no no no no no no no one acts boning dude look the boners are real and when the chicks come the guy's got a boner chicks come that's real okay okay but they're not they're paid bro like they're not actually on a boat if they say they're on a boat like maybe it's like uh like a like a scooter no that part's real yeah maybe they're lying about how big they're lying if they own the boat they rent the boat okay yeah that's for sure that's hollywood but when the dude busts that's real when the chick busts yeah that's real even the chicks squirt yeah they squirt mega video i've ever watched it's squirting that's's real. Jameer Gibbs. Back to Jameer Gibbs.

A mom teaching a daughter about anal. It's beautiful. Sorry, I keep coming back to B-holes. Let me tell you what. Never apologize for that. I love that. That's pure. That's my truth. That's pure. And you're looking out for society's buttholes by telling them to get their vitamin D.

And when you're honestly, when you're checking in, watching your vids, you're probably looking in and going, hey, that lady probably suns. Maybe this one doesn't. And guess what? Next video. I mean, it has to have an aura. It has to have a golden tint. I was going to ask you what color your aura yeah golden golden i love

that well it's you know it's got some a pink hue with rays coming off of it that's so nice you know the sun is like when you draw the sun it's like an orange circle with yellow rays coming this is just pink circle with the rays. That's so nice. And shades. You got attention one time, I remember, you told us this story, where you were doing like an art project, and it was like you were recreating a,

it was a, what do they call that, like when you paint a view, JT? A vista? A vista, yeah, you were painting a vista, and you kept, and the students were all drawing suns, like maybe the top corner with little beams coming out, or a full sun with little birds and clouds. You kept drawing a full butthole. Yeah.

In the sky. Yeah. And then a nice vista beneath. Mm-hmm. Yeah. I mean, they had me draw vistas, they had me, you know, we were talking about the planets, astronomy, and, you know, of course I drew Uranus. Yes. planets astronomy and you know of course i drew uranus yes um but i did that with every because i i just i feel like space and and you know there's uh the planetary shape is

in the shape of a butthole so uh that's just what i believe you know some people believe that the earth is flat they believe that you know the sky is water I believe that you know every celestial body is a b-hole so that makes perfect sense amen yeah I can't see why why no anyone would believe anything otherwise I mean but the way the internet is today i mean people believe anything galileo great butthole oh big time yeah yeah have you seen it galileo's butthole yeah yeah oh yeah that was i was an amsterdame was a character actor playing galileo but it was a character actor playing Galileo. But it was a cool show. He was just on the street spreading? Yeah, he was on the street.

I went for a low budget. It was on the street. If you go to a sex show in Amsterdam, no one comes. Did you know that? No. No, they don't. Really?

It's cool performing for nobody? It's classy. Well, it's classy. They come out. It's like a rotating stage. They'll be hitting a position for a while as the stage is kind of going. And then the next scene will happen. It's very classy.

Very classy. That is elegant. Yeah. Interesting. That's nice. Very classy. Hell yeah. No.

Galileo, he did put one of those instruments. Sorry, I don't want to get too about. The telescope. Yeah. Whatever that thing is. What's that thing? Telescope. Yeah. Or the. It's a different thing. A compass? Yeah. What is that thing is what's that thing telescope yeah or the

it's a different thing a compass yeah what is the fucking thing when they're on ships it's like a fucking yeah i know it's like a triangle right yes aaron what's that thing called i don't know it's the first time aaron's ever been stumped do you know your adventure shit like explorer shit have you seen lost city of z did i just watched it a couple weeks ago. How good is that movie? It's the best. It's so fun used Did you really oh You want to wash on the plane? master gardener

Which was that or tin? Oh, that's the new Schrader movie Paul Schrader how was it? it's intense I wasn't expecting I was definitely looking around at people in the seats around me being like

this is intense weird how? or intense how? well I don't want to do the give there's a giveaway in it that I could give you

if you want to watch it that would be a big not a huge spoiler but it's like he's an ex like marine guy? no no

like neo-nazi oh interesting yeah and then has love interest with someone that would be very much against his past person jewish or black black and so and it's a good story it's about forgiveness and growth i think it is a nice story to watch it's a nice story to watch but it's intense I've been watching all the All the classic horror movies I'm on a spook fest Oh that's all you want Watching some John Carpenter Dude I watched John Carpenter

Halloween Shout out Aaron I watched Texas Chainsaw Massacre Last night Done all the Conjurings What's next? Did you watch the original Texas Chainsaw?

No I watched Brad Fuller's 2003 one Oh hell yeah Jessica Biel The Jessica Biel one I saw that in theaters You did you really? That was eye opening Dude I saw that in theaters. You did? You really? That was eye-opening.

Dude, I saw that in theaters as a freshman. Yeah. And there was cool dudes. There was cool senior high school dudes who snuck in through the exit with an 18 rack of brewskis to watch that movie. That's badass. It's so cool. That sounds so fun.

That's the coolest thing I've ever heard of. That sounds so fun. Their buddies let them in. They brought the beer in, and they all watched the movie. Dude. I was like, those guys. That's sick. It would have been sicker if they brought an entire keg, though.

Damn. Oh, it would have been fucking rad. And if the theater tried to stop them, they would have fucking just decked them, dude. And rolled up to you with a ping pong table. Oh, bro. They were playing fucking B-Pong while the movie was going on. Set up some fucking cups at the front, dude. I would love to watch that, dude.

Just call it a re-rack in between murders, dude. Oh, man. Some dude gets fucking trolled, bro, during the fucking final act. Can't even figure out what happens in the end. front dude i would love to watch that dude just call it a re-rack in between murders dude some dude gets fucking trolled bro during the fucking final act can't even figure out what happens in the end has to listen man dude dude all the boys from the the fantasy leader in the chat what are they saying and joe pelazon just offered me pacheco and gibbs for camara i'm like yeah man i'm down to do that in 2017 look we love our boy joe p dude i'm going against him this week he's an honorable player he's a good guy great guy you know but i'm gonna beat his ass dude who are you going up against i'm going dude i don't know i've kind of zoned out a little bit don't say I'm not committed bro

get out of here with that I'm working trades all the time dude you're the trade here's the thing you're the litigator Chris is like the guy who's who's who's running the case he running he runs the runs it he runs the team and then when you go court, you call in JT and he's fucking making shit happen. But look, do you have the app on your phone? I have it on my computer now. I do. I'm more on top of it. Do you see?

It said on the league thing. It said I signed into the league. There was a huge moment in our thread. We saw that. It was huge. It was a huge moment. We saw it in our thread. We're like, holy shit.

You're like outside. You're not following it every day? No, I pay attention every day. I keep track of our guys. I try to work trades all the time. Me and my brother are talking about free agency all the time. Sounds really guilty. I don't always look at who we're playing,

and I don't always check the scoreboard. And it's a little fair weather. If we're winning, I'm super on top of it. But when we're losing, I will get really sad if we're down by like 40 on a Sunday. And so I'll just zone. Like, I can't look at it. Cause like I'll,

I'll be depressed. Like if my girlfriend comes into the room, like my kids are there. Yeah. And I did this before all that. Like I, I just get sad no matter what with fantasy, but like,

she'd be like, how you doing? And I have to lie and be like, I'm okay. Cause I can't be like, I'm super depressed. That's amazing. Dude,

there was a time when we were living together, like this is maybe 2017. My frigging dank ass wife. Now she was moving to San Diego. She like was fed up with LA. Yeah. She needed a big switch. Wow.

And I was helping her move to San Diego. She told me like we were going to bed one night. She's like, Hey, I have some news for you. I want to live in San Diego. And we were going to bed. And part of me was like, look, I'd like to sleep.

And I was like, cool, that's great. And I want to go to bed. Then we talked about it more. And I was like, I support that. Cool, we'll still stay together. That's not going to put a ding in our relationship. I fucking helped her move into an apartment in San Diego. We live in LA.

For those listening. What part of San Diego? It was South Park. Yeah, it was like north park south park border exactly north park jt exactly yeah i'm glad i slid in there fucking drilled that yeah drilled that i just remember when you came back you're like north park's really cool yeah i was like nice area really fun gonna be fun to hang out there and uh fucking i was moving her in moving a ton of furniture and like it's moving moving. I'm helping someone move. And she's like, Hey, like, and she could see like my mood dropping.

It's like, Hey, like, I appreciate you like helping me move and all that. I'm like, no, it's cool. My fucking fantasy team just getting its ass kicked. Well, that's the thing, man. It's like, it's easy to get sad about. It's harder to get sad about real life stuff. Sometimes easy to get sad about fantasy. So true.

Real life sad is way worse. Yeah yeah you can't even engage with that you're like no i'm gonna put that away for like i don't know you know what dude when i hear sad shit or like not sad shit but like when shit like big shit's happening i'll laugh yeah i do that now i'll go like death i'll be like that'd be crazy yeah if you died you died. Dude, it's nuts, man. Come with the real world shit, the real world stakes. It's not easy. Yeah. I think people would call it like a trauma response or something like that. And I think some people would even say it's unhealthy, but I don't know necessarily if

it is unhealthy to like laugh. Like people like, no, you need to process it. And I agree. You do need to think about it and feel it. But if your body wants you to laugh and that's your, you feel like your best way through agree you do need to think about it and feel it but if your body wants you to laugh and that's your you feel like your best way through then do that yeah and i think it's one at least be aware of why you're doing it though but it's okay to do it if someone else dies or just at the thought of death like if let's say you're, let's say it's like the day before your wedding and you get a big wedding

plant and, uh, on his way to your wedding, your cousin's car explodes and he dies. And he was supposed to give, uh, he was supposed to be the, uh,

the MC and he was supposed to officiate rather than being devastated and letting that ruin the wedding i'm kind of being glib now but hold on let me try to be serious i do think a part of me would be really sad and it would really affect the wedding but i think part of me would hear it get really sad and then be like and then try to zoom out and be like it's pretty insane his car exploded right before he's about to officiate the wedding yeah like that's crazy like life is unpredictable chaotic and never really on your side not really against you but not really on your side and it'll find ways to make you feel like it's against you because fucked up shit is always going to happen i guess i just gotta laugh yeah like that yeah

you gotta have i mean maybe humility is more directed inwards but it's like you have to have if you have no humor or anything you got and it's also one of those things where it's in the moment that's getting you through it it's not like you're doing that like two days later like no and you're telling it a story you're not laughing like isn't that sick or i'm glad it happened you're just like what the fuck no totally dude everything in life can be related back to band of brothers and this is episode seven and it's donnie walberg sitting there and it's a barrage in the force of bastone and he's sitting there laughing and he's going haha as a kid as a fire it's his body just being like dude i'm laughing i'm feeling like it's fireworks his body's just kicking in being like

this is how we're going to get through this and then of course as the narrator later with hindsight he's like i wouldn't be laughing so hard if i knew what was going on around me but it's like you're powering through that moment yeah and then you know maybe it's i think it's more of a problem if once you get past that moment if you're still laughing then you know okay what's going on with this guy but people cope in different ways man life's tough you got to get fucking through moments well life is absurd yeah that's what it is like there's it's ridiculous so i i think to take it too seriously is worse than laughing by far yeah because then also it's like you feel like it is against you like if i took it too serious and i'd be like why is this happening then i could start being like why is this happening to me yeah you

know rather than realizing it's happening to everybody yeah all the time for all of history and then the idea of taking things so seriously even when it we're all in like a losing game where you're just gonna die in the end it's like it's like uh i'd rather laugh at all this shit than i take i take things seriously but like well you care about things you care care about things. There's a difference, I think, too, right? Yeah. But I think, you know, just taking a step back and just being like, this is silly. Bro, you've been on fire with the philosophical shit. Because it's going to come out after this podcast. Oh, thanks.

But you were dropping some fucking bombs on the Verzi podcast yesterday. Definitely. You've been cooking with the philosophy stuff, dude. I've been listening to swami g an hour every morning bro it's grooving with you dude it's just swami g dude and i know we talked about the osteen on the versi pot i love osteen dude but i think you might be cooking hotter with the with swami g i love joel osteen we used to do we used to do like road trips to comedy shows and like bakersfield or palms where he He'd have Osteen going the whole time.

Osteen was like, look out into your future. Do you see happiness? Well, go out there, drive out there and get it. And Joe would just be like, yeah. Who doesn't want to hear that? It is amazing.

I mean, dude, it is amazing. He's like, I like to start with something funny and then blah, blah, blah. And then he said, I'm with God. And I'm just like, I'm like, Joel, You fucking crush it every time Dude his formula is dialed in It is

I'd like to start out With a little joke Yeah And then you hold up Your Bible Say it like you mean it Yeah exactly To a fucking arena

Of like 20,000 people I want to go to Lakewood We went there bro We went there They kicked us out Are you guys banned for life We're banned from Lakewood I don't know if it's for life

I bet you we could go back. We could go back. I don't think they got our photos up anywhere. Yeah, do you think if you- The cops actually loved us. When the cops come, they always like us. They were nice. They were nice, yeah.

It's the ushers, dude. The ushers are mad, dude. Yeah. Even, they were funny, because to get us to not come back, they were like, we might give you a meeting with the real Osteen. I was like, oh, hell yeah, hell yeah. They asked us, they're like, why'd you do this? And I was like, we're trying to be famous. Exactly, why?

Attention, dude. Why have I ever done anything in my life? Attention, dude. Dude, do you think it's hard to satirize anything now? Because everyone you would be satirizing is making content of themselves already. So you don't even need the satirical

version because you can just watch the real life version of it. I'm saying this because a dude who shot a prankster video got shot in the video. And then he put out a photo from jail. He's in the hospital, dude. He's in the hospital. And it felt like a sketch to me. I'm like, if you were doing a sketch about a YouTube pranker,

the last beat would be Bill Hader in jail.'s like he got shot in the chest but he kept his edge and like throwing up a peace sign yeah but it's actually just happening and there is no satire to it because it's even more ridiculous yeah i almost feel like i'm not even getting political here i genuinely do think the inflection point for that though was when trump became president like satire just turned into like everyone was already doing and i also think it was true cell phone everything he did was already better like when baldwin would play him on snl and baldwin would say absurd things yeah then trump would just go do what he did and you'd be like dude that's just way better it's way better and he would do it at the actual forum yeah like it like the sketch would be okay high stakes scenario

republican debate like before the election yeah he needs to do whatever and oh he's gonna say absurd things baldwin would say a few crazy things and then trump would go do even more crazy stuff you'd be like this is amazing dude entertainment value is through the roof it is interesting how how making fun of politicians has changed so much like when we were like when we were growing up, SNL making fun of Bush and stuff is the best. Yeah. And I don't know where that change happened, but like there was this,

there was this like moment where everyone, it just like, like Will Ferrell doing Bush was like, or like Dana Carvey doing like, who'd he do? He did Bush senior. He did Bush senior. He was good at it. It like, I don't know. They seem so clever. was like or like dana carvey doing like who'd he do he did bush senior he did bush senior he was

good at it like i don't know they seem so clever and now it's like it yeah the politicians are just like too funny themselves for any carvey was good at so you'd always find like a weird thing to make fun of him yeah yeah he would latch on and also maybe it's the internet it's twitter like someone can pull a micro moment from anything yeah that's a thing that's interesting yeah will ferrell's bush was yeah he did a whole like live off-broadway show about it did he yeah it was amazing you remember like colbert on o'reilly yeah that was good dude that was good you know what's weird about that my dad thought o'reilly won really yeah like i remember watching with my dad I was like Colbert

kicked his ass I was like I think O'Reilly won yeah cause he said he's like your name's Colbert you changed it to

Colbert to sound fancier yeah that was his big that was what he called that was his big that was his big call out

but did he ignore everything else um Colbert just had a really funny opening line where he said, because he was the no spin zone, Colbert goes, I live in a life of such constant spin

that to come here gives me vertigo. That's hilarious. He just had perfect tone. He was amazing, dude. Yeah, he's a sick dude. Colbert. Oh, man. Big Ed, Big Rig said, cars just a sick dude. Colbert. Oh, man. Big Ed, Big Rig said,

cars just don't explode. Because I said, what if my cousin's car explode? Who said nihilistic? Yeah, but we didn't say how it exploded, bro. I think they were saying our life outlook was nihilistic. Then someone said, do the house moms try to come and bang Chad?

Oh, nice. Probably. Dude, I mean, I'm in a relationship now, but that's what I craved growing up. I wish, dude. I know.

Oh, this is a good question from someone. Do you guys trust sushi in landlocked states? No chance. No chance. Barely trust them in this state.

Dude, I don't even know if I can talk about this But since it's live I'll go for it I know of a sushi place They got bad mushrooms People died They didn't cook them right Portobello?

Something weird Dude that's insane A couple people died because they didn't prepare them right. Is it in LA? No, no, no. Landlocked state. That's where I bring it up. Yeah.

But dude, how nuts is that? Why would you have anything on the menu? When we were kids, blowfish was the thing. Yeah, blowfish. Dude, Charlie's Angels. Chef has to know how to prepare. Just right. Dude, Bill Murray eats blowfish in Charlie's Angels.

That's not the most... If I'm going to risk dying, it's not going to be eating something. Yeah, eat, no. That doesn't seem cool anymore. Yeah, you don't even get adrenaline from that. You're not like, whoa! Yeah, I'm like, dude, here we go! Whoops! Do you remember Fear Factor?

Oh, yeah. They'd be like, you're going to eat elk penis. Yeah. Yeah. Fear Factor never scared me because they're like, this is a television production. I'm never going to die. It's just gross. Yeah. Yeah. Fear Factor never scared me because this is a television production. I'm never going to die. It's just gross. Yeah.

But they made him eat shit. The eating was disgusting. Eating is gross. Eating would be disgusting. Would you rather eat something gross or would you rather be in a coffin filled with cockroaches? Like a coffin

because I would know that I'd get out. Right. I'm like, they're not going to let someone die on TV. Yeah. There's let's go. I want wanna eat something You could be the first though dude

But that's true That's true dude Fuck dude This is how someone prepares blowfish You gotta cut out like the ovaries in the intestine I didn't even know blowfish had ovaries Whoa You gotta give the blowfish an abortion dude?

Yeah there's something there Big time I mean it looks disgusting well you hate most food i do i like chicken parms it's about it and a banana in the morning you you actually were you that picky growing up or did it kind of kick in as you got older it's because the way i grew up oh yeah the same thing. I had a regimented eating schedule. Yeah, explain this.

This is interesting. Monday night, pasta. Tuesday night, Mexican food, fajitas, chicken, all white breast meat. Wednesday night, leftover pasta. Same stuff, same sauce, just different noodles, maybe meatballs if they were leftover. Thursday night, we did get adventurous. We do Chinese food, but all white meat once again. Rice, nothing crazy. Veggie chow mein. white meat, once again. Rice, nothing crazy.

Veggie chow mein. Friday, pepperoni pizza. Saturday, adventure night. Go sleep over at a friend's house. Have what they're having. Probably don't eat. Sunday night, steak. What was your favorite night?

Steak, Sunday. Go ahead. So why did that make you picky? I think it's because that's the devil you know't have any variety. It's the devil you know. Right. Okay. It's like... It's what you're familiar with.

It's what I'm familiar with. You weren't exposed to other things. Like you would eat sushi at five years old. My parents were crazy. They gave me... I was eating like cow tongue French food sushi the whole nine by the time I was like five. And if you're doing that at five, you go, this is regular food. This is what I like.

Right. At five, it was the same schedule my whole life 25 years well you'd think you know some people when they're repressed like that when they are let go they explode so you could have been you could like drugs and pussy for sure oh yeah you went through that phase fish drugs yeah you did bro yeah when you're always doing hair on and just munching box I was doing black tar just going down on every girl I met you had like the whole building just on the couch while you were just

shooting up oh yeah but I do remember your stomach got maybe your stomach was following your spirit but I remember like there was a time like around 24 when restaurants just started getting chopped off. Wahoos.

From your regiment. Yeah, because we would eat at Wahoos maybe five times a week from 18 to 24. Purnable. We went to the one at the Spectrum, and this poor guy, I don't know what happened. Bro, it was in Irvine. Might as well be a landlocked state, as far as I'm concerned. About 12 miles in from the coast. That's deep.

Yeah, it's far. It's terrible. Went there, got a Wahoo's Bowl. Ate it. We went to go probably watch, I don't know, I Am Number Four. Where fucking Robert Petterford. You know what it was? It was the one 50-50. Oh, it was 50-50.

We cried in that. Yeah, it was a good movie. Because Rogan's a good buddy. He's been reading the book. Yeah. He's 50-50. We cried in that. Yeah, it was a good movie. Because Rogan's a good buddy. He's been reading the book. Yeah. He's reading the book. Here's the thing. That moment didn't pay off as enough because I was in the bathroom, my butt fucking exploding

the whole time. Damn. Because that inland Wahoos kahoonable. Damn. He came out, he said, no more Wahoos. And dude, then didn't I text you about a month, like two weeks ago, I go, I went back. It'd probably been 12 years. Remember I texted you?

Yeah. Guess what? She's not going to like me saying this. My freaking dank ass wife, her butthole got blown up. Wow. Oh yeah. Got blown up. Me, I was fine.

I was fine. I had a, I just had one of the wet burritos. I was okay. I played it safe. Nothing crazy. A couple onion rings. She went crazy and got a, oh man, I forget what bowl. It was a tofu. I safe nothing crazy a couple onion rings she went crazy and got a uh um oh man i forget what bowl it was a tofu i think it was a bonsai bowl she got a bonsai bowl

with tofu tofu so excuse me and then and then before we know it we try to walk just we didn't even get past lululemon which is about 300 steps yeah she was already shitting her ass bonsai b-hole yeah oh yeah yeah do you dump after food after food uh i don't typically dump after food um i'm trying to think of a time that my b-hole got blown up you know when you got sick was miami uh do that well i heard you guys yeah didn't you get sick after that miami though you both got miami flu or some shit. He gave it to me, but he's got a better immune system. I got rocked harder. I don't know. Well, dude, yeah, it was a virus.

I didn't eat anything because I gave it to you. That was airborne. That was airborne. Or did you eat some crab? Did you have crab? The crab doesn't blow up my B-hole. The crab blows up buttholes for sure. Nah, dude.

Have you seen the Brett Butler clip? Not us, dude. Is it Brett Butler? Who's the guy who talks about eating a crab in Vegas? Oh, the baseball player. Yeah, that's a great story. Who's the lead-off guy? He's like, I took a double-stitch shit or something like that. Not Brett Butler.

Who's a famous guy? What's his name? I got a story, though. No, dude. Shellfish famously blows up assholes. You can't eat shellfish. Shellfish is not airborne. George Brett. George Brett, that's it. I do have a story. You can't eat shellfish. It's shellfish. It's not airborne. George Brett. George Brett. That's it.

I do have a story. So I was golfing. I may have told this before. I was golfing with my brother and my dad. It was 110 degrees out. At hole nine, you know, you get a snack. I got the cilantro lime taquitos. Huge mistake.

And at hole 12, which is probably the farthest hole from uh sounds about right you're going out you haven't turned back yet yeah farthest hole out from the clubhouse you're young you're not doing the whole estimation yet you're not thinking about where the restroom is no no so I get to hole 12 and you know it's it's the fucking what was the test in Oppenheimer? Oh. What was the test called? Were they like measuring it? I don't know. Aaron, what's the test called? Oh, look it up.

Damn it. So it was that test in my b-hole, dude. And so I was like, so I start beelining it to the clubhouse. Of course. I don't even make it. I make it like 100 feet i make it two holes over i'm behind the t-box just blowing ass into a bush and there's guys like 30 feet away they don't see me they're just teeing off i'm just having some idiots dude morons no idea you

punked them yeah yeah they're just like they're just hitting balls i'm just and my dad gave me the caramel kid what's up the caramel kid amazing were you nervous yeah i was sweating everywhere oh yeah your body gets hot 110 degrees and my dad and my brother's such psychos they're like let's walk we gotta walk oh god if i had taken a cart that's manly bro yeah you take the car you live in a bathroom yeah ac shitting in a sink did so yeah here's the thing here's the thing is that i i did that in the bush you know you can't wipe no no chance um i was like is there a ball washer here or something and then so i you know had to walk back like that to the car oh god just sweating that's the worst with shit all over you yeah caramel kid hey speaking of rush is it cool if i take a piss real

quick yeah do you want a beer when i come back yeah i got you i can rip the ads oh go baby perfect oh the trinity test yeah it's a trinity test in my bunghole um all right guys well first All right, guys. Well, first off, we got a new merch drop coming this Friday. Go to shop.chanjt.com. Sign up. Guys, get this shirt. Get this for your girlfriend if you're a dude. And ladies, highly recommend. My girlfriend loves it.

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Into doing the ad dude Thanks That was badass Thanks Someone told me to tickle Strider But he's too far away I'm not ticklish dude I work out

Oh Schwinn You're ticklish dude Alright when I was taking the league dude I read something And I don't want to hurt UCI's recruiting because UCI isn't dude what is about being tickled when you just fucking you feel like you're

gonna get murdered I see like you're gonna die I don't want to be I squeal. Yeah, tickle JT, dude. Let me, yeah, tickle him. Yeah, mama. That was a good tickle, baby. I wasn't expecting to get you that good. Well, just maybe the way you grabbed me is more what got me. Yeah, that's called the electric eel. Oh, is that really like a tickle? No, I just made that up. Oh, that's cool.

Oh, it's a good tickle move. Yeah, dude. Dude, the electric eel. Strider, what's your dirty talk like? My dirty talk? Yeah. Oh, dude, my dirty talk's insane, dude. Dude, the electric eel. Strider, what's your dirty talk like? My dirty talk? Yeah. Oh, dude, my dirty talk's insane, dude. I'm just talking about stuff like, just with my wife, just stand up, always stand up.

Yeah. Stand up boning, dude. Just chilling on our balcony, boning on our balcony because we're savages. We live in a courtyard setting. And just sitting up there boning and being like, tomorrow I'm going to take you to Target. She's like, wait, what? I'm like, psych. West Elm.

You know, tricks, little tricks like that. Yeah, you tease her. Yeah. Oh, tomorrow I'm going to take you to Target. She's like, wait, what? I'm like, psych, West Elm. You know, tricks, little tricks like that. Yeah, you tease her. Yeah, oh, tomorrow, guess what? Did you know the farmer's market closed at my range? What did you fucking say? Yeah. Kidding, it's not going to rain.

It's fucking October. It's always a dry month for us. Come here. Nice. Fucking insane, dude. There's a lot there, man. Yeah, it's a very, you know, we've got each other,

we're very dialed in. You'd have to be, it's, it'd be the, you'd have to, you know, hijack got each other. We're very dialed in. You'd have to be, it's, it's, it'd be the, you'd be at the, you know, hijack a U-boat and get the Enigma code. Do you think there's guys like with genuine, do you think there's guys with so much swagger that they like dirty talk the first time they have sex? Whoa. Like he's like 15.

He's like, what's up girl? God, you got a badass. Oh, like the first time, like a virgin time boning. Like a virgin time boning. Like a virgin time boning. And he comes straight out of the gates with a lot of talk. You know who did that? That'd be amazing. Snoop Dogg.

I believe that. Yeah. But I've got to say, it's probably pretty cool. It was from Snoop. Was he ever a virgin? Yeah, I think he boned as soon as he was born. Probably got a freaking blowy from the nurse as soon as he was born. He's like, whatever.

Yeah, dude. Probably said whatever when he nutted. Yeah, the mom was like, hey, can I have my baby? And she's like, well, let me just suck this thing off. Snoop's safe word is whatever. Snoop even turned to his mom. He's like, relax. Yeah.

Yeah, exactly. Chill. Chill. Chill. It's all good. It's all good. Yo, mom, I'll have a bag of curfew. What's going on?

That's cool. Dude, what else was it? What did I want to say to you guys when did you first do dirty talk I'm trying to think I think when I was like in my 20s

I started just I realized dude this was crazy like I had a breakthrough where I was like oh you can just be really nice

to somebody so then when I was like in my 20s I'm like man you're so pretty I'm like so and it would get me fired up

right to be so nice would you say it aggressive though no would you be like you're so fucking. I'm like, so, and it would get me fired up. Right. To be so nice. Would you say it aggressive though? No. Would you be like, you're so fucking pretty? I do that more now,

but I got to like know someone before I say that. That's like when you really are connecting with someone. I, and then I probably started doing real, oh, my first girlfriend, she got me into dirty talk.

She was really cool. She made me feel safe with that stuff. It took me a while to get into it because i was just so just uh just shy i was shy too i didn't have that i remember my my dank wife was like hey let's like dirty text to each other and i was like i can't take it serious i was like i can't i can't i can't get into it as soon as you see the word cocky dirty text now we do now we do oh now we'llTime, you know, all that type of stuff. Oh, that's nice. That's nice.

But it took a while. It took a while. What were you kind of nervous about? I don't know. Maybe it was just like, yeah, it was just me being on my own head. I was just kind of like, it didn't feel like organic, I guess. Was it hard for you to believe that you were the guy who would do those things or something? Yeah, that was probably it.

Yeah, exactly. I was like, I'm not this dude. I was like, I'm not this guy that's exactly right i think i thought i was maybe too cool for it or just too chill i think you are very chill that sounds right yeah but that doesn't work yeah you can't be chill you got to embrace that side of yourself you can't be too chill all the time true no there's times to take the governor off and let your engine go yeah one and with you know i think it's cool that you are cool but you now you have someone you trust that you can be uncool with yeah i talked to my girlfriend about that all the time about how

exhausting it was like on her first couple months of dating just acting cool around her all the time like i don't think i smiled the first three months we dated. Yeah. She would say something hilarious and I just look and I go, yeah. That's amazing, bro. Now I talk nonstop. I'm so annoying to her. I'm always smiling. But so once in a while, like I did this a couple of days ago, we were having dinner together and I just acted cool for all of dinner.

Hilarious. So she'd like say something and rather than respond I'd just look at her and be like that's interesting yeah and just like hold my eye contact and she was like

what are you doing but I could tell that she kind of liked it and I was like I'll just act cool for an hour but it was tiring yeah it was a heavy

heavy weight yeah because I just wanted to jump up and be like no totally dude yeah did you see this hit Jamiro Gibbs dude yeah you want to find someone you can be uncool around heavyweight. Because I just wanted to jump up and be like... No, totally, dude. Did you see this hit? You want to find someone you can be uncool around,

aka yourself. Dude, it's so true. We're all little nerd dicks. This is the first relationship where I'm like, oh, I can be my goofy self. I can be weird. And that's the best you. And I do show her my butthole a lot as you should yeah i got it no you know and it's like do you really shower your butthole a

lot yeah will you show your you better believe it i swear to god i'm happier that it's true yeah yeah do that today i was naked in the house just chilling i was feeding the dog naked i bent over and i gave the dog i had the shower heating up. I was feeding the dog naked. I bent over. And I gave the dog to her. I had the shower heating up. The shower was heating up. And I was pouring dog food into the bowl completely butt naked. And I know my wife's on my butthole. Yeah.

There's no question she's on my butthole. Dude, I love that. You know, if I'm being truly honest, I only spread it a little bit. I don't want to give her the full. Just because it's a shy. Yeah, I don't think that's you being uncool. You're saving that for your wedding night. That's for the wedding night.

I did it in Palm Springs because I think that's kind of what you do there. In Palm Springs you spread butt. Let's be honest. There's girls in the chat now saying she's a lucky woman. So I think there's a lot of ladies out there. Is that for real? That's actually what I was going to say.

Dudes were texting me going, there's there's chicks in the chat oh no way there was dudes that texted me they go hey bro i love how excited they go dude there's chicks in the chat yeah it's so funny i was like this is a cool fucking podcast bro this is live hey ladies we're happy to have you we are so happy to have you. I can't even tell you how fucking stoked we are. I'm not a cool guy, dude. I'm Larry, dude. I'm fucking lame. Dude, it's funny. The show's going to be like,

Ladies, we're happy to have you. We're happy. There's chicks here. No, dude, it's so true. That was cool. It was cool seeing... Yeah. Dude, don't change the subject, dude.

There's chicks in the chat. There's chicks in the... No, it's the same thing as a party, right? When you'd have a house party and the chicks would come. We would announce it. Oh, dude, it was so same thing as like a party, right? When you'd have a house party and the chicks would come? We would announce it. Oh, dude, it was so much fun. We would announce it, dude.

The stress you felt before the gals got there, you're just sweating and shit. You see headlights come up at the driveway? 40 guys, you're like, someone might get murdered if these chicks don't show up.

Oh, totally. Everyone's just pouring shots. There's one dude, you're like, dude, just go compete at something real quick. Just go like, I guess you go race

around the house or something. Like, just go race. Yeah. And then, dude did you see the headlights roll up you go the chicks are here like four or five in an suv dude oh bro four or five would climb out of the car three smokes and then the cool one genius that's amazing so true dude what is that brew dude honestly bro i gotta tell you the can is great yeah it's like the oakland a's it's an oakland a's can okay yeah i don't know jt did you get these free are they bad is it sponsorship bro i gotta tell you i am the just some sort of sponsorship genuinely i'm so bad at picking beers dude i go on the bevmo app and i get them postmated and well i don't know to me

i should man get a sculpin i almost texted you get a fucking elysian what are you doing i know i almost texted you and asked you what beers i should get and then you know how honored i'd be if you text me with that i know i don't know why i did i think I had already bugged you about like two things and I just didn't want to triple tap you. You can never bug me too much. Hey, hey, hey, hey. Look at me. I love you.

I love you too, man. And you can never bug me too much. All right. I appreciate that. You should reach out to me more. I want to talk to you more. All right. Yeah.

Please bug me more. For anything. I know. I know. You'll never bug me. I know. If you literally go, hey, dude, can I sleep between you and your wife tonight in the bed? I go, yeah, let me move the dog.

Let me ask the dog is what I say, dude. Can we tell that story? Yeah, 100%. Is this the Larson story? No. Oh, that one's really funny, actually. That's a great one, yeah. Tell that one.

Tell that one. Okay, so we would get fucking fucked up at JT's house parties. And speaking of the ladies rolling deep, we had a few girls who were soccer girls, and they brought their teammates from their club team so we're like this is amazing new girls we don't even know yet like fucking let's go there's a girl who gets out who is very aptly named larson and she's completely fucked up dude she's fucked up from the get-go and we are nice guys where we're like hey look, look. Larson, hey, great girl. Cool.

Had she been sober, we could have connected, whatever this or that. She was too fucked up from the get-go. She was a lost cause. And we were not nice guys at this moment. She's like, let's go in the jacuzzi and hang out and chill. That's a wet dream for me. You know what I'm saying? As a high schooler.

Yeah. We knew the jacuzzi was getting maintenance on it. We're like, okay, go ahead. We knew the jacuzzi was getting made in time. We're like, okay, go ahead. Jump in the jacuzzi. It's fucking completely dry. She comes out. Fuck. The jacuzzi's empty.

She fell into a pit. It wasn't like she was like, she was being gnarly. She was like spitting on things at my house. Oh, damn. And then, yeah, this was, she did get dark. It got dark. You are right. It got dark. We were like, we talked to a few other girls. We're like, yeah, she did get dark. It got dark. You are right. It got dark.

We talked to a few other girls. We're like, hey, we need to put Larson to bed. Larson needs to go to sleep somewhere. One of the options was a car. Let's just put her in a car. We'll recline the seats.

She'll be in the car. We won't lock it. We're not animals. She needs to get out. She needs to get out. But we're going to put her in the car outside the house. It's safe.

They're like, that's too mean. We go Alright JT's like I don't know Maybe not your idea No it was It was

I'm proud of this She's like You go Larson We got the best bed In the house for you Go to the fucking Double fucking

Swinging doors upstairs Walk through there Just straight back Can't miss it Dead beeline Fucking just take Drunk stumble steps To there

Just get in the bed It's all good Whatever you worry about Don steps to there. Just get in the bed. It's all good. Whatever you worry about. Don't worry about anything. Just go in that bed. Fucking Larson just bombards. Fucking bombards in there. You know, stomping.

Goes to the fucking bed. Gets in there. And all you hear is, JT, what the fuck? And JT's parents are both sleeping in the bed. And she just fucking gets right in the middle of JT's mom and dad, dude. JT! The fuck? My dad, he's like,

what the fuck? He's like, money! What the fuck? And then my mom's like, hello? And then, dude, Larson got up. She was stronger than me, I think think she came bombing out of the room and she started wailing on me she started punching me but i was like dying laughing i was like underneath her and she was just socking this shit out of me and i was just like cracking i think my

dad pulled her off of me and i was just getting wailed on and i was laughing so hard that's amazing that is so funny dude your dad those dad, those impersonations. JT, what the fuck? Yeah, I just heard him. He's like, what the fuck? Hello? Mommy! Mommy! My mom was like, nice.

My mom's like, hello? And then she was pissed. Nice girl. Nice girl. What was your story? What was your story? Dude, mine was when your wife was out of town and we watched all the president's men. And then I was like stoned or something.

I was going to sleep on your couch. Oh, yeah. And then you and me hadn't lived together for like a year or two. And we looked at each other. And it was like on. Not in a sexual way, but like in just a bro intimate way. And we just looked at each other and then you were like do you want to sleep in the bed with me and i was like yeah

that's your story dude it was amazing like we just slept side by side and then in the morning i was like later dog we had done it so many times growing up where i was like it was like it was dude you know what it was it was nostalgia yeah nostalgia yeah nostalgia we were like I was like dude just leave in the bed bro you're like for sure yeah and it was so nice you lose that muscle atrophies now I know like when I go on bachelor party trips it's not as easy for me to sleep next to dudes dude is true also at this stage in our lives in your 30s like if a dudes crashing at your house it's probably a red flat. Like, you can't be crashing at your boy's house.

It's like. Right. You know, it's like. I see what you mean. Just go home. Just get a DUI. Yeah. Honestly, dude, just get one.

Yeah. Honestly, bro, it makes more sense for your life. Dude, I think it looks like a lot of DUIs have happened. Just go get it, dude. Just trying to sack up, man. And the cops are like, where are you going to sleep in your house? All right, we won't really make this too gnarly of a ticket for you, but we get it, dude. If you're sleeping in your boy's house, nah, dude.

Go home. What if you're a chick and you're hammered at your buddy's house? That's cool. Mother teaches daughter type stuff. Dude, that's cool. I'd watch that. What's that all about i'd watch that what's going on there that's interesting you know what i'm saying there's something there dude yeah i

don't know if i believe the holes are they on a boat is it a house different it's definitely different for sure that's always funny like dudes who were like i don't even know if this happens as much but like dudes back in the day be like gay dudes that's weird lesbians that's cool though dude exactly dude exactly american pie too yeah that is american pie too that whole dude that scene was that's like a 15 minute sequence that's not a scene that's like a huge fucking like chunk of the movie that's the whole movie the guy writing literally the whole movie the guy writing he's like yeah this is awesome. He's so stoked. And well, because they put the walkie-talkie bit into there, too.

Oh, yeah, with the dad. The dad's like, oh, no, no, no, no, no. Squeeze his ass, son. You'll like it. Yeah. Good stuff. I was just thinking about that scene. The weird part is those guys that wrote it, probably PhDs.

Oh, yeah? What are they doing to deal with these PhD guys writing the worst stuff ever? Well, no, yeah, because I was talking about that today. It's crazy, too. Because I was talking about how Craig Mazin wrote The Hangover, and then he did Chernobyl. He wrote The Hangover? Yeah. And then he got Chernobyl, I think, because he helped the Game of Thrones guys rewrite

the pilot for Game of Thrones, and it fixed it. Right. And then so to do him a solid, good bros, after Game of Thrones and it like fixed it right and then so to do him a solid good bros after Game of Thrones went like whatever they were like

okay well and then he got to make Chernobyl right but he was just like a comedy writer before that interesting

Chernobyl's amazing yeah D.B. Weiss and David Benioff seen their names a million times yeah me and Pedro were laughing about when they were

feeling themselves so much during Game of Thrones when it was like at it's peak that they were going to do a movie about like if the South had won the Civil War. Hilarious.

Dude, just pitching that, and then the execs being like, interesting. Yeah, they had so much juice. Everybody was like, let them do whatever they want. And then it hit the internet, and everybody was like, we're not letting this happen. They were like, it's like a, what was that season, that show where the Nazis would have won, that was like a man in the high castle?

Oh, yeah. A good first season. After that, terrible. Yeah, I couldn't watch that first season. Terrible, terrible. Dude, I was thinking about this in the earlier story. Maybe I'm just like out of touch, but does it feel like high schoolers have house parties anymore?

Is that a thing? They probably do. Are they still raging? They have to, dude. I mean, I hope so. If high schoolers aren't having house parties anymore, then I will subscribe to these ideas of like, we've lost our culture. Yeah. That's culture, dude.

That is American culture is house parties. Honestly, dude. You go to Spain, that's what they're like. You guys have house parties. You guys have red solo cups. It's amazing. Yeah. Oh, that's cool.

Yeah. Yeah. We binge drink. In Spain, they're like, we have a piece of shrimp oh port wine tonic they don't need house parties in europe because you could drink at a bar when you're like 16 yeah yeah do you have in europe bro in high school going to a house party i remember the graduating graduating they had like three days of straight partying it's the best time of my life well dude you were so stoked for it because it wouldn't pop up often yeah and you'd be like this is like whatever girl you had a crush on like this is the time like it'd be like three weeks yeah a month

basically you're doing homework you're doing practice your school whatever you're like this is my time to fucking hang out with christy or whatever. That's always the name of my show. I can tap into that. You know why. And so you'd be like, this is the time, dude. This is the time. And dude, the stakes were so high. The fun, it was so built up. You had your fucking cool ass jeans ready to go that you hid from your mom so she couldn't wash them.

It's the best, dude. I can tap into that joy. Then you just fucking jacked off because you didn't talk to anyone. I can tap into that joy so easily. And cum. Oh's the best. I can tap into that. Then you just fucking jacked off. Cause you talked to me. I can tap into that joy so easily and come. Oh, for sure. For sure. You're getting ultra specific there for a second.

Yeah. Look, I'm a weird guy. I'm a weird guy. Um, I do. I'm, I'm glad we have to sneak around with booze in America.

Cause it adds a lot to it. I agree. Well, we talked about the value of a bottle of vodka when you're 16 and you score one. with booze in America because it adds a lot to it. Dude, I agree. Like the value of a bottle of vodka when you're 16 and you score one. You know what it does, dude? It's Newtonian. It factors out the dudes who really don't want to party.

Are you not going to sneak into Albertsons or Vons or the fucking Wawa or whatever grocery store you have on your side of the country and fucking go past the produce aisle and jack that bottle of Sky Vodka so you and your boys can have a night. You got to man up.

You got to step up. You got to make it. Those are the dudes who really want to rich. Yeah. You know? And you shouldn't be driving around. Unless a chick was watching. Wow.

Whoa. Put a couple of sophomore girls in the car when I'm a senior, I'm like, no, I've stolen vodka before. Oh, that's sick. Dude. I'll'm a senior i'm like no i've stolen vodka before oh that's sick dude i'll steal some vodka right now i've never stolen vodka before that rips i think i might have been there when you did that you know what i never understood about the stealing vodka thing is the the the the upperclassmen who like were showing me the ropes on it were like oh walk out slowly with it so they don't suspect anything.

But I think there was a rule that security wasn't allowed to run after you. That was the thing. Dudes would be like, dude, go to Vaughn's. They have a no chase. Albertson says a chase policy. You'd have one dude who was a genius, and he would never steal it. He'd be like, you go in there, but trust me, don't worry about it. Albertson says a no chase policy. Meanwhile, I'll be here. It's like, well, then you fucking go do there, but trust me, don't worry about it. Albertson's has a no chase policy. Meanwhile, I'll be here.

It's like, well, then you fucking go do it, bro. He's like, nah, you're a little younger. Prove yourself. But that made no sense. Just run. I did it like once or twice. Just run. I would grab it, get close to the exit, and then just bomb.

Of course you just run. In hindsight, dude, and you're living in Orange County or a small, have your buddy just waiting in a truck. You get in. Look, this is bad probably for young kids listening. Don't do this and don't drink and drive. Go park your car and stay where you're going to stay. But like, it's very easy. It's very easy.

You know what I used to do? They have the little things on the cap though that are tough to get off, but you can. Yeah. Whatever the liquor store in San Juan was, I used to just go there. The one by the school yeah the one by community cup of toronto yeah i used to just go there and i just asked dudes in the parking lot to buy me booze do you know what they call that move what it's called a hey mister yeah bro it's called a hey mister dudes know about this it's called a hey mister yeah there

was always one dude about 30 cool guy cool guy. She's like, what? All right, yeah, give me the money. And then I paid it forward once. I was with my first girlfriend. Are you dead? Yeah, I was in Newport, and these kids were going to prom, and they came up to me. I was going to the liquor store to get some gum, maybe some rubbers.

And they rolled up on me, and they were like, hey, man, can you give me a bottle of vodka? And I was like, ah, fuck. And then I was like, yeah. And they gave me the money. I went in there, got him a bottle of vodka. And I gave him one statement when I gave it to him. I was like, hey, don't give this to any chicks.

Not like in a chicks can't drink kind of way. I'm sure that's clear. But more like, I don't want to be part of that. Don't be weird. I should have just said that, man. That's what I meant to say is, hey, have fun. Don't be weird. That's the perfect thing to say.

What I did was, though, some kids asked me the same thing. And then I asked them, hey, where's the party at? I'm 36. I was like, what's going on? I did that for a minute. I was like, whose parents are out of town? Did we win the game tonight? I was like, Diablos suck, dude.

Let's cruise, yeah. You're like, are the chicks coming? I was like, who are we inviting? It's probably a Christian. You're like, are those kids from Tesoro rolling, or are they banned, dude? I was like, what's going on? Do you guys need a bouncer for tonight? Because I can bounce and just kind of chill, have a few of these.

This is a Costco membership. This is a 36 rack. You have the 30. I'll take the six. I can chill. Yeah. Dude, there's an Orthodox Jewish bakery I used to go to. Oh, I took you there a couple of times for breakfast.

La Brea Bagel. I love that place. Great spot. So you remember I was used to being in there. And I took you there a couple of times for breakfast. La Brea Bagel. I love that place. Great spot. So you remember I was used to being in there. And I had some rapport with the people who worked there. And there was a young dude who worked behind the register who like, I don't know, we just always chat up, like talk. And then he was like, hey man, my birthday is coming up.

He's like, do you know a cool place I can rent out for a party? He just randomly asked me that. I don't know why. And I was like, oh dude, yeah, like I'll try to help you out. So I tried to think of some places, sent him some options. He came up with a different place. But he's like, hey, here's where the party's going. So you and me were on a show. It was your show at the Virgil. Oh, right, right, I'll try to help you out. So I tried to think of some places, sent him some options. He came up with a different place. But he's like, hey, here's where the party's going. So you and me were on a show.

It was your show at the Virgil. Oh, right, right, right. I did it with Fahim Anwar was on it. This was years ago. I did a bunch of Adderall. Plow show. Yeah, I did a bunch of Adderall that night. Then afterwards, I was feeling good,

had a good set. I was like, oh, I'm going to go party. I'm going to cruise this kid's party. I'm like 30. I thought he was like 25. I get there, they're all 16. So I'm super 30. I thought he was like 25. I get there, they're all 16. So I'm super fucked up at a high school party, and all the kids are 16. And instead of bouncing, dude, I just sit down and start giving advice to kids.

Dudes are like, hey, man, I want to go to this college, but my parents want me to go local. I'm like, follow your dreams, dude. Super fucked up. That's amazing. Dude, open an IRA. Start saving. Time's your most valuable asset.

All right, next. Dude, it's funny. I watched the kids on the dance floor, and the boys were all scared of the girls. So they would just watch the girls. The girls were having fun dancing, and the boys were like kind of scared of them like wanted to go dance with them but didn't know how and then they just got frustrated and they looked at the girls and they didn't know what to do and they just started shoving each other whoa and they were just like on the dance floor but just running into each other yeah that makes sense dude testosterone

has got it's got to come out some way dude dude my dank ass wife says this she's like look anything happens to you trauma this that the other thing whatever it's chemistry whatever comes into your system will have to get processed out of your system right is that going to happen in a healthy productive way or an unhealthy unproductive way right so you know those guys had horniness and their horniness happened to come out with fighting dude someone's saying you buying booze in exchange for a huge high school house party should be a tv show i think that would be a good show that'd be interesting yeah maybe a good maybe a richard lincoln or movie would be better like

it seems ephemeral to me yeah it might be tough to get mileage out of it TV show wise but you never know everybody wants less yeah

oh everyone yeah it'd be good dude everybody dude I showed my dank ass wife everybody wants some she loved it loved it

wait okay can I ask were you threatened by that a little bit by all the hot dudes in that no I loved it no no no that's cool

no no like I said if my wife wants to get buy that a little bit? Buy all the hot dudes in that? No, I loved it. No, no, no, no, no. That's cool. That's cool. No, no. Like I said, if my wife wants to get with one of those hot dudes, fine. That's sick, dude. Cool. As long as it's on a Sunday,

I can watch ball with the boys. Have fun. It works out scheduling wise. Yeah. Let's schedule it. Does the dog want to walk? Have fun. It's cool.

You know, is it a tall guy? Can he fix the light bulb after? Great. So we're canceling the apple pick for sure because then I'm going to go golf with the boys. Exactly. Dude, exactly. So you've got the guacamole recipe dialed in. Alright, can this guy who's about to fuck your brains out, can he pick up the avocados

and the fresh tomatoes? Can he do those those two he can i love this guy yeah because the negotiation comes in which is like but i want you to come back and like scratch my back afterwards and you're like no he's got to do that he's got to do that too if he does that too with them we're cool my wife's gonna listen she's gonna kill me later Does she listen? Nah nah My girlfriend listens

Really? I love that She's great How's she doing? She's good man She's rock solid Having two kids Let's go

It's a challenge man Bro It's tough She's been a trooper And she's doing great It's really cool Like I try not to leave her alone

With the twins Just cause it's overwhelming Having to watch two kids But I was shooting something yesterday And it ran late And when I came home and I came into the little nursery She had both the kids just asleep And happy and perfect

And it was dark so I couldn't make out her face But I knew she was smiling over there just so stoked That she'd gotten them like dialed in And there was just this cozy vibe Going on in there My heart was just like bursting oh it's the best it was beautiful bro that's so rich so like happy for i'm proud of her and then like the kids look so good and they you know they're developing nicely and their lights are coming on and it was just yeah it was the best that's awesome

that's amazing that's best they're how old now eight weeks eight weeks they just had their checkup yesterday. That's awesome, dude. Yeah, it's wild, man. But do you see what you just did as a parent, though? You took the regular time measurement, but then lessened it. That was a couple months. You got now eight weeks. Oh, did I do that?

That's two months. You're going to do that with years. How old was your kid, two years? No, he's 24 weeks. Right. He was 24 months. Are your kids 10? How many of these are 87 trimesters no dude i think

i'm fucking with you yeah no no you're right you're right dude i'm a bitch but i think i'm gonna start when do you start using months aaron at six uh no you start using time when you use time yeah i'm fishing for it what is this dude you use time bail me out dude time dude you like like if you're scheduling Like a meeting with someone You're not gonna be like Hey dude let's meet Let's meet in like 700 hours

Dude No you gotta do months At least three months Three months at the latest You go to months And then Two years You're definitely

Not doing months anymore For sure I've heard Aaron slip up dude You have? I've heard him slip up i've heard aaron slip up dude you have i've heard him slip up yeah i've heard him say hey my daughter's fucking yeah 47 weeks true story well how old's sunny so he's about um so he's about um quarter million seconds old about a quarter million seconds nice. About a quarter million seconds. Nice.

They all matter, dude. Yes, every tick, dude. He's so cute, dude. He gave me a stye in my eye, bro. He gave you a stye? Yeah, he fucking licks this left portion of my eye every morning, and I got a stye in my eye because of it. That's awesome. First one.

You keep it? Proudly. I wear it proudly. Yeah, you don't treat it. Oh, dude. Fuck it. This would be a violation. Hey, the people in the chat, they want us to tickle Aaron.

Whoa. On mic? Whoa. I don't know. Who wants to do that? Yeah, probably. Aaron, how are you feeling about that? I don't think it needs to happen.

That's right. It's got to happen. Aaron, just because I'm curious I have a curious mind are you even ticklish I probably am yeah are you teasing us with that it's not something a lot of people do to me have you ever been fucking tickled dude

let me tell you something right now we're not tickling you tonight It's too soon It's too fast But the seed has been planted I know your address dude It might be a couple months dude And it might not even happen on camera

I'm gonna come over dude You're gonna be walking the dog You're gonna get fucking tickled dude And I promise you this When it happens You'll be happy It's gonna be the right tickle Is he gonna giggle?

Hearing Aaron giggle with delight Would be one of the joys of my life We gotta do it I was giggling earlier Yeah I mean you did just giggle A lady A girl laying between your parents This is fucking hilarious

Dude let's really go in this room just climb into that bed right there and then I just stood there and I was like it was amazing dude I remember standing down the hall and being like this is insane that this is happening it was so fucking funny oh man

Larson Kachick do you know whose birthday it was that night whose? it was that night? Whose? It was on a boat Our boy? No it was Oh dude And you were macking and cheesing with a girl on the bus ride home

Really? And it was like dude you were in like your moxie stage dude I had a year of the gosling I had a year of the gosling Did you in high school? Yeah At the end of high school I had a year of the gosling Senior year? Yeah it was nice It was dude you're macking a lot of chicks i was chilling

i was fucking chilling dude how many not that many i was called i was in and out burger i was quality over quantity for real dude and it was like uh it was like some hero's journey stuff like the potential had always been there and then he like accepted the challenge wow yeah i could see some moments where you're like walking on the party bus you know that bus that takes you like to the event oh fuck yeah you walk i walk by you you got your arm around shakes oh dude that's the best heads up to one of your boys and your boys know because you want to dab of your boy but you're like we don't interrupt you just go, and your boy looks at you. And you keep cruising. Dude, I got called out for that. It was painful.

I was a sophomore year winter formal. We were in the limo. And I was with this girl. This is a cool moment. Well, so like, thank you. I was with this girl. She was a great date. Really nice girl. And I was nervous to make a move.

And then one of my buddies was just like, my buddy just kept being like, kiss him, kiss him to my date. He was not a bad guy he was just like a party amper and we were going to the after party his house so he had a lot of adrenaline and he was like come on kiss him kiss him then i was like oh man whatever and i was like is it cool and then we kissed yeah and then on monday at school he was making fun of me because he said after we kissed i put my arm around her and i was like and he kept doing impressions of me all day at school and I was like, oh fuck.

This guy's a genius, dude. That's insane, dude. Cool guy, Bryce Seaman. He was cool. He surfed like 50 foot waves. He was the man, dude. He was the man. He threw some sick parties but

they already always had a little lull but uh what do you mean a lull like for some reason it was like this beach in el moro like in like um maybe it was it was like uh not technically laguna just north of laguna in corona del mar maybe but uh it's amazing homes right on the fucking beach they're all gone now like it was like a state contract they're all gone so it's amazing homes right on the fucking beach they're all gone now like it was like a state contract they're all gone so it's this beautiful second time i've used this word tonight just short-lived ephemeral partying that happened there and at every every moment the cops would never be there but they'd always be like shut the fuck up like bryce's older brother was always like regulating the party and like the younger kids were chilling so i feel like the older people like the few like bryce's older bro and

the few of his friends would be there they would supply the booze and then bryce would bring like all the younger people to party and stuff his older brother was cool too he was super cool he's a good guy they both wore fucking like corduroy flannels and shit they're they fucking and they both ripped at surfing and they were ripped yeah they were fucking jacked. Water polo, the whole deal, fucking awesome family. Elite Orange County family. And they'd always yell at some point in the party, shut the fuck up. And, dude, I remember just making eye contact with all the girls laughing so hard at how much they'd yell that. Someone kicked their modem and broke it.

And then the older brother was screaming at the party. He goes, shut the fuck up was screaming at the party goes shut the fuck up everybody shut the fuck up and he was like he was ballistic like i saw like an adult rage in him i was like 60 people like shut the fuck up like 60 people were like i swear i looked at him i was like you're gonna be like an angry dad and he was a chill dude otherwise like he liked like jack johnson and like acoustic shit and then uh one girl at the party who nobody even knew just like kind of had an attitude like you shut the fuck up and the whole party went silent and i think the older

brother was worried that the dad was gonna be all pissed off that the computer got fucked up and he ran up to the girl and it grabbed her by the shirt and i was like oh my god was he about to like fucking hit a chick and he stared at her with this fire in his eyes and the whole party was like stiff and silent we're all like what is gonna happen and he just stared at her with this fire in his eyes and the whole party was like stiff and silent we're all like what is gonna happen and he just stared at the girl and then he turned to his girlfriend who was this badass water polo chick named michaela and he goes michaela beat this chick's ass and michaela bro dude michaela i to God, it was one of the hottest things I've ever seen. Like in that moment, I was like, I want a Michaela.

She fucking started stomping over, took her earrings off. She had like big hoop earrings. She took them both off and then just grabbed the chick and started throwing bombs at her. And bro, she plays water polo. She's fucking jacked. She was ripped. I remember seeing that and being like, oh my God. Dude, I just got

it was insanity no it was insane it was insane we were like oh we were like what the hell is that it got broken up quick

the girl didn't get like busted up or anything but it was wild and I just remember I was like I was like I think that girl's cool like

it was an ugly scene but I was like I think is that we still don't know who knocked over the fucking modem, though, dude. Yeah.

Someone fucked up that modem. It's probably Bryce, dude. Yeah. It might have been Bryce. Yeah. Bryce was fucking cool, dude. Mikayla, dude. What time are we at?

We're at 940. What are we thinking, dude? Should we do some cheese? Yeah. Yeah. I love questions. what are we thinking dude should we do some cheese yeah yeah I love questions do you guys drink your fucking magic minds

not cold bro uh I usually drink them cold but they're just outside of the fridge here you have it with like you drink coffee but then also have this

right so in the morning I drink uh magic mind then I have coffee then I have athletic green AG1 then I have another, then I have Athletic Green, AG1, then I have another coffee.

Bro. That's my regimen. How come you're not the fucking president right now? I'm working on it, dude. Just dialed in. I'm working on it. What's the most coffees you've ever had in a day? Oh, dude.

Six. Yeah, I was going to say four or five. We go kind of easy on coffee, huh? As a drug Yeah You guys don't go hard on caffeine I probably have the most caffeine out of all of you guys I do like 4 shots a day

I'm probably there You know I used to go harder on it No flex but I'll do 4 I used to go harder with it I used to go like A big big black coffee with two shots. But I just haven't done that lately. I don't know why.

Staying black with it is good too. Because I'll go latte and then you have two of those and you're like, man, my sugar intake is like I'm eating cheesecake every day. That's more where I get concerned. I can handle the crash, but the sugar shit scares me more. No, I like americanos or black coffee i like the taste of coffee which i i'm fortunate for do you still chug your shit or do you enjoy it at least no i'm a chugger with everything god i don't know if i get the buzz anymore from coffee do you guys get the buzz i don't get a buzz at this point it's like

homeostasis yeah it's like no i'm lucky i get that's like. No, I'm lucky. I get that. I'm like, whoa, yeah, we're awake now. Yeah. I'm like, whoa, things are on. I used to like, because I would drive back and forth with my mom and dad's. And I had my brother's Subaru WRX STI, which is like a fast and furious car. That's your favorite. Hood scoop, spoiler. He put an Apex E exhaust on there.

It was so loud, it would set off car alarms. Drive it stick. no idea what i was doing and i'd get two big monster energies you know not even the ones that you crack open with the twist cap because they're so huge bro and i would crank i would drink two huge ones like 36 ounces and listen to kill switch engage driving stick Driving Stick. Just a menace, dude. That sounds like the best time I've ever had in my life. Yeah. I was rocking a fresh white tee, dude, just thinking of Paul. Oh, my God.

How did you not have seven girlfriends, one for every day of the week, doing something like that? Dude, good call. Ugh. I want to recreate that. That's beautiful. I want to get a Toyota Supra and just you know blast off to palm springs i'm on the market for a car right now i should do that are you doing gone in 60 seconds yeah dude

just boosted car just blast you know what the big lie of that is is just traffic is horrendous oh my god there's no good route just being stuck like out by Pomona. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What time are you going? 4 a.m. He's in the line at In-N-Out in Eleanor. Exactly. Do you want to eat in the car? Yeah. Or do you even wish to eat in the line at In-N-Out?

You're like, guess I'm doing Chipotle, dude. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is that Chipotle? Dream weekend just took a little hit. Having sex or boosting cars. Having sex while boosting cars having sex having sex while boosting cars i like to picture the guy riding that it's like good breaks yeah good breaks too some people in the chat is like they might be young but they're saying coffee is whack

dude interesting is that like a new thing wow what is that is that tiktok thing yeah maybe because it's not organic why is coffee whack i want to know no a few of them have quit is what they're saying oh i mean yeah you don't want to be addicted to actual drugs to quit you want to be addicted to stuff quit chad would you rather have a soul patch for life or never be able to surf again dude soul patch oh 100 you you might make it dude honestly do you think i should go for it that's what i was going at i mean because november's coming i was like maybe i'll do the stash right nah should i do soul patch for yes soul patch flavor saver all day long dude the mustache calendar all day long. We should talk about mustaches. True.

I mean, look, if you're a cop, I guess exemption is just part of the badge. But if you've got a mustache and that's the leading trait of your personality, what do you do? And we had a cool friend,

Christina, who was always like, I love a guy with a mustache. And we're like, bro, it's such a shortcut to a personality. Exactly. And then they were

on the front of lifts and then everyone started putting them on sticks at weddings and I'm like yeah it's just the originality factor is zero but Soul Patch dude there it is Soul Patch is cool

I mean that'd be kind of like who's the guy in Titanic Mark McGrath Yeah Billy Zane Yeah Mark McGrath Yeah

Yeah Mark McGrath Did have a soul patch Did And you know what He's the man Dude nice butthole Good soul patch That guy has a good butthole

Wow I mean I would love if you got A tramp stamp tattoo And a soul patch Did our buddy Get a tramp stamp tattoo Wait who Nenzo Did he really I didn't see this you got a tramp stamp tattoo in a soul patch did our buddy get a tramp stamp tattoo wait who

nenzo did he really i didn't see this he got one it's hilarious he's the man if he did i fully support it i want a tramp stamp dude i just don't know what to get it up maybe butterfly wings oh dude maybe dragonfly wings. Some sort of wings. Wait, that's our boy? How's that? The fuck? Wait, cut this straight. What the fuck?

He's a deer. Dude, even look at the way he's posing. Like the tilt. Also, he has no ass. He needs to do some squats. Look at the tilt, dude. Is that real? Dude, I have an idea.

For November, I'm going to get a soul patch and a palm tree tattoo in and out palm trees where i dealt smart it's a great spot for a tat it's a great spot for a tat. It's a great spot. Sorry. Dude, we got to do like a football watch thing. Oh, I'm down with like a Jaguars game. Well, y'all are like the, I think honestly,

the most famous Jaguars fans in the world, dude. No one likes them. They're a London team at this point. They've got two back-to-back London games. Yeah, that's crazy. Dude, one guy got mad at me. He's like, are they lost to the Texans? And he's like, he's like, stop fucking talking about them.

You put a jinx on us. Dude, might have been that same dude. He messaged me and was like, bro, is Chad a real Jaguars fan or is he fucking with us? Because honestly, I can't take it. This guy's out of his mind. I didn't respond. I was like. Dude, just relax.

Fuck, dude. I can't fucking take it. Yeah, he was pissed, man. He's like, don't talk about them. Yeah. Put a curse on us. Oh, Jesus. But they won.

They won? Beat the Falcons. They got talent, dude. They were due. They did. London's their fucking home stadium, dude. They play at Wembley. They put the Tottenham Hotspur Stadium and shit.

What did you guys think of that call at the Jets game? Oh, I saw that trash. Yeah. Where there was like... Well, here's the thing. Here's the thing. That wasn't the call. That video highlighted the wrong holding penalty.

Oh, really? It was away from the ball. That wasn't where the holding penalty was. Oh. Yeah. Oh, the Jets-Chiefs game? Yeah. There was a holding penalty.

On the home's third down? Yeah. Where they didn't throw a flag on a... They got interception, but then they called holding on the defense. Oh. There was holding on the other guy. Yeah. I watched it without the sound on, and so I didn't know what the sentiment was as much, but people

were saying that the Chiefs got benefited and the Jets got boned. Yeah. I believe it. I think there was other calls that were shadier than that one. I might be mistaking which one it was, but there was one where it showed two defenders

on a guy and the ball was targeted to the receiver and it was not holding, but there was an off-ball holding penalty, which happens. All right. Should we do a cue? Mm-hmm. Yeah. All right.

That's not really a question Dude Scientology's been hitting up the account big time Really? Yeah their question is Are you curious about yourself? Sure And then they give you a personality score Just based on what?

If you score below 200 points You gotta come in You need Scientology Do you think most you score below 200 points, you got to come in. You need Scientology. Do you think most people score below 200? Is it Cheegus is watching? Cheegs. Is Cheegs a Scientologist? What's up, Cheegs?

Yeah, huge. Really? Yeah. No way. He's the biggest Scientologist I know. Really? Yeah. Interesting.

He's a good dude. We got one like- Like Cheegus. Legit-y. Greetings, Stoke Lords I come to you as a young man in the midst of the hero's journey I'm 25 years old

and this summer I moved out of my hometown I sought new adventures in a far away land and I'm struggling to keep my stoke I miss my friends my favorite restaurants

and the usual shenanigans my crew would always get up to I've tried acquiring companions in my new province but I just don't have a lot in common with these people whenever I meet new people I feel like an outsider trying to fit into

their world. I'm looking for advice on what mindset I should employ to make the most of my time adventuring. I can easily move back when my lease is up next year, but I don't want to spend my time between then and now simply waiting for that. How can I make the most of my time away from home in a city where nobody knows my name? This is like a movie.

Dude, he's just horny. He's just horny, dude. Of course you're going to feel like an outsider trying to make friends with people who already have friends. I mean, look, I love it, bro. Get after it. Get it done. Keep hanging out.

Dude, you're a freaking beast. He's a young guy. Do you ever think about how little you get hit on? Oh, yeah. I've never been hit on. Never once. I'll just go to a store and I'll be like, no one tried to bone me this whole time i was here damn it's a great quote i love that you should do this as a bit that's really fucking funny you should do that as a stand-up bitch

really funny no one even tried to fuck me today man do you realize what i'm trying to deal with dude that's hilarious but that's like it's hilarious but yeah dude exactly i'm like dude wait what problem do you have you're traveling and living a sick ass life and oh i could go back to my normal life but i want to keep living my sick life and maybe try to keep making new friends but i feel like an outsider like yeah bro like i mean i don't know i think you should enjoy cocaine enjoy the solitary life yeah get cocaine and then deal it become a coke head yeah no don't even do it just you should enjoy the solitary life. Yeah, get cocaine. And then deal it. Become a coke head. Yeah.

Don't even do it. Just deal it and you'll meet tons of people and they'll love you. That's huge. Yeah, but make sure it's not fentanyl free. Maybe you can be the benevolent coke dealer. I don't know. It's probably bad advice. No, I like that.

It's probably bad advice to be a coke dealer. Probably bad advice. Well, benevolent one is making sure there's no fentanyl in it and stuff. True, true. That's not. I mean, there's a cultural service there. That's tight. I think our boy Trevor's giving advice to people in the chat.

Oh, don't take advice from my boy Trevor. Look, I love my boy Trevor, but the guy's a madman. I love him. No, he's the best. Love him to death. He lives so passionately. If it's advice on how to dominate, then maybe take it from Trevor. If it's like, hey, how do I just fucking dominate everything in life?

Trevor might know. He said, forget your bros, get yours. Do your own thing. Not one ounce of the culture is telling groups of bros to team up and crew up and build cool shit. I think that was, he's quoting Nenzo, the dude who got the back tat. Oh. Thatenzo the dude who got the back tat oh that sounds like a dude who got

a back tat for sure for sure um what do you think this guy should do I mean become a coke dealer

is good I think I think he should just enjoy the solo life you know just be barefoot and like

wear just just like a flannel no pants and just life, you know? Just be barefoot and wear just like a flannel. No pants and just go to, you know, the bank. Yeah, go to a waterfall, go to a bank. Go to a Chevy's. Watch the dough machine make tortillas and press your dick up against a glass. Agreed.

What do you think? Dude, I think you got to lower your expectations like you're coming to a harsh realization that you're not the dude in the movie you're just what society really doesn't have a ton of function for which is just some random average dude so like yeah people aren't gonna just like invite you to cruise over chicks aren't just gonna try and bang you and no one's gonna ask you to like front man their band at red rocks so you got to just kind of take it for what it is you know you're a spectator for now so just watch and appreciate what you're seeing learn from that and then when you go back to the people you do know who do not want you around who do want you around bring back what you've seen and a new

appreciation for those people dude that's a beautiful call that you just made i think we should all have this assessment for ourselves and i think the best way to do it an empirical scientific way to do it is put on a plain white t-shirt and some jeans it's a great outfit go out to a bar and based on that outfit See how people respond to you If chicks are trying to do you People are trying to put you in movies You're James Dean And if you're going fuck that

I want to bone some dudes and race in a car That's real James Dean That's fucking rock and roll If you're wearing a white shirt and some jeans And dudes are just like And no one's paying attention You gotta get a job like the rest of us. You got to clock in.

You got to work at Enterprise. You got to be a good dad. You got to fucking be a great dad. You got to double down. You got to live life. And that's all of us. There's only 1% that get to do it. And damn it,

hopefully they Wahlberg rockstar it for us. It's a beautiful thing that you just came upon there, JT. Bro, I made my brother watch that movie Rockstar About 65 times Nice

Yeah Steel Dragon Should we do the last bit Are you dudes ready What are we doing Fucking born dude The beefs Oh yeah yeah

Or should we do Something else dude Bro I mean I have some stuff Should you flash your butt Oh you got more You want to talk about No no

Oh on the beef spaves and whatnot? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, let's hit that. I could show my butthole. But I would love to see your butthole for real, yeah. I mean, you know. Maybe only me and Strider get to see it. Yeah, let me see that.

Yeah. Your ass looks good, dude. Thanks. Good, good. Yeah, that's 30 days of hot yog Oh did you finish that? Yeah In a row

Dude that's pretty cool You haven't like bragged about it On mic yet Nah dude That's amazing dude Yeah Yeah dude 30 days hot yog

Do you feel like exactly the same? Yeah dude Do you not feel crunchy in the morning? Crunchy? Crunchy like your body Like ooh I gotta move around a little bit a little tight no you don't feel tight i see i need to do 30 days you know you know what

the the problem was i was getting so dehydrated that actually i did tighten up a little bit it's like it's like a balance you got you got to you got to really crank up the electrolytes just like that yeah oh dude huge info too On the last question From Sloth Lovechunk There was a study done by the New York Times That says it takes a person an average of two years To meet new people in a new city Wow

That's a long ass time though right It's really long That's two seasons of softball That's uh Six Six seasons? Depending on the city softball seasons are that quick we're talking about San Antonio it's warm so yeah there's three year do you see it's funny was kind of a nice city huh that Riverwalk is cool it feels like

Pirates of the Caribbean it is really cool. Really? Yeah, it's tight. I like that part. Dude, the Alamos. That's a life goal of mine. It's like Venice. Dude. Like the water runs through the city. Yeah.

Dude, the Alamos. How come no one's going to this city? Why is no one talking about this city? Barkley just talks about how fat the chicks are there. Oh, yeah. It's also unfair. It's funny, but everyone looks pretty solid. Oh, Charles Barkley.

Yeah, because they got some big ass women In San Antonio They uh Palomo's super haunted I guess Oh Oh probably yeah Yeah

We haven't put that episode Out yet either We talked to a ghost hunter I'm excited dude Dude I'm terrified by that Dude Yeah well they were talking about They were like yeah

You've had some bad luck And I'm like That can't transfer From like person to person right Really Yeah I was like Yeah bro I'll lose sleep dude yeah dude fuck that yeah well they did they were like they had done 15 nights in a row on the road like just spending going from like abandoned mental hospital to prison to like apartment where there was like a mass murder yeah and then they just cruised in they were then you know it made sense they were like the sweetest most optimistic dudes i think you'd have to be to kind of go that way dude they

went to they went to like a death chamber at a death row at night oh he's like bro it's kind of heavy yeah kind of yeah probably yeah like can you imagine bro we were at auschwitz because the vibes were off dude i felt it man terrible time i felt like there was something in the earth there that like something shouldn't have happened there exactly there's one guy one of the guys from like true tv where he's like in the comedy store he's like oh fuck i'm feeling something oh fuck this is really gnarly Oh You're just like Shut the fuck up Yeah exactly

Well you do feel it At the comedy The comedy store is weird Really Yeah it trips me up I don't know It might be the way It's laid out

And it might be That there's just Always a lot of sad people there Yes But it does feel like There's a vibe Oh it is a dark vibe there It's always a bad vibe

Yeah Well they said the belly room Was cause of abortions And all that Yeah and then they kill people In the basement Yeah Really?

Wait really? Yeah Who? I've just heard that from people Mob guys Mob guys Whoa Yeah cause there's a mob joint

That's the whole thing And they used to kill them In the basement? Yeah They would do hits down there Yeah Damn Tommy Two-Tone

Those guys were funnier Than half of the headlines You see today Big timeone Those guys were funnier Than half of the headliners You see today Big time Hey Those guys killed Come on They knew how to end the show

Can't deny it Can't deny it Are we going next bit? Yeah I'm gonna piss real quick But Chad I love that Let me see

Chad who's your Beef of the week? Dude my beef of the week Dude Puppy Puppy health Oh yeah Chad who's your beef of the week dude my beef of the week dude puppy puppy health oh yeah it's just dealing with some

so my dog she was just throwing up I think it was last Friday threw up like four times so we had to take her into the vet and then and then she's fine just kind of peeing out of her ass for a little bit. And then she had an allergic reaction. We come back.

So my girlfriend cut her hand, so we had to go into the clinic. And then we come back. The dog has, you know, she had like a swollen face. It was like an allergic reaction. I was like, oh, no. So we take her in. They checked her her out and it's like it's fine she probably just like swallowed a bee or something and then uh and then that night at like 3 a.m she threw up and like if she throws up after having an allergic reaction you gotta take her in because

you know it could be it could be escalating and so he took her in and it's just um yeah it's just a bummer scary stuff oh bro dog stuff can be a nightmare man yeah because you can't talk to them no i guess you can't talk to babies either you feel so sad yeah no it's just yeah the lack of communication yeah you're just like what's going on yeah yeah what's going on then you just feel bad for it's like sad and you you know uh it's a bummer Yeah, you're like, what's going on? And then you just feel bad for her. You're just like sad and you, you know, it's a bummer. Yeah. But,

you know, it's just, you gotta get through it. But, I think she's, she's pulling through. But, yeah, like I dropped her off today

and to like, I just love that dog so much. But, I dropped her off, you know, dropped her off to, at the vet. And you just feel bad

like leaving them. They hate it. Yeah. They shake. Yeah. And you just gotta leave and they know they smell the smells yeah and uh but got her back good and i think she's she's recovering but uh i think puppies should puppies just get into shit this is part of growing up

yeah this fucking gotta boost their immunity and they do stupid shit and they figure it out. Yeah. But I love you, Lola. Love you, Lola. Just a good dog. That's my beef. Strides, what's your beef of the week? My beef of the week is car salesman. Ooh. Dude, right now I am on the prowl for a car casually.

Yeah. And my last car was a lemon, i got boned so i've got a little chunk of change from that so a little purchasing power although it's not a buyer's market right now it's a seller's market and i went on edmunds.com usually pretty sick to find some shit in my area and never do i give my information online but i want to see these motherfucking dealer prices in my area yeah hey do you want to see the dealer prices in your area

and they get you horny for it they get you horny for those dealer prices the car you're looking for the exact car we'll get you horny for that and I go fuck yeah give them my email

give them my phone number to see the quotes and what I think because I don't read it because I'm a dumbass I don't read directions when I'm building Ikea furniture

fuck it I'll figure it out I'm a man and of course I get it wrong my wife gets mad and she furniture. Fuck it, I'll figure it out. I'm a man. And of course, I get it wrong. My wife gets mad and she ends up building it and she pulls the directions out of the trash.

But I go, fuck this. Don't read anything. Put my information in there. Really what that means is a ton of, it gives dealers my info

to give me quotes. Dude, I got bombarded by dudes named Chris, dudes named Evan, one girl named Sonia. And they just hit me up nonstop. Hey, hey, hey, we're looking for you. Hey, we heard your inquiry. Hey, hey, hey, come on down. And everyone, come down.

No, come here. Tell me the price. Come in. Tell me the price. Come to the dealership. Why? Just tell me the price. No, no, no.

Come in. We'll get you a better price. Show up for the price. No, no, no, no, no. Just tell me what it fucking costs. Nah, nah, nah. You got to be here for me to tell you. And I keep asking them.

And I use secret lingo, working in valet.et hey what's the dealer invoice not msrp what'd you pay for it dealer invoice well well here's the thing just come on down no no tell me what you paid give me the vin number so i can look it up then they get mad then they cool off people are saying you can call dealers outside of your area many times I can save you thousands Yeah I should do that I should buy outside my area Yeah I should I mean dude the thing is I'm in SoCal I'm looking everywhere from San Jose to San Diego

So I am looking outside my area I'm still looking in California I don't know about buying a car in Nevada or fucking whatever I miss a lot of it Are you just saying why the process is so protracted And so full of it I don't get it Why is it not just a flat number and why is it paperwork for five hours bro and there's tax title and then fee there's like nine different ways they get you

what is fee for the fucking for you for you doing your job i have a fee now and there's also shipping and handling for the car to get to a dealership wait so you had to do a deal to get a car here to sell me from your dealership fuck you i'm not paying for that yeah dude brooks brooks said you should hit up mike crawley do you know brooks's crawley story no bro bro brooks has a great crawley story brooks that's hilarious dude brooks went in to buy a fucking car and he goes there and he goes hey is that brooks bergoon here's a voice and mike crawley it looked nice guy sorry sorry sorry it's live it's live well you already said it i said it

we're busted okay it's not your fault but here's's the thing. I got to go full in. Here's the thing. In high school, look, now he's a great guy. Don't know him, but high school, dweeb. Hate to say it. Yeah, yeah. Drink that beer. Hate to say it. Sorry. Yeah.

Dweeb. And cheers. Huge fucking dweeb. No, keep going. Keep going. Keep going. And he's a car salesman now. And Brooks

Cool fucking guy Used to bartend all the parties 6'6 The man Varsity basketball Brooks Cool guy Huge penis

You love height Love him Great fucking guy Bad at fantasy Love the guy He's a big hog Yeah Good size dick

Good penis Yeah good penis And And a good eye for filmography Yeah he's a great DP Yeah he's a very And he's strong, dude. He can hold that camera for hours.

And the guy can get low in a squat for being 6'6". Yeah, he's got good mobility. He can do heavy DT CrossFit style with the best of them. And anyway, he goes into this dealership, hears this voice, and he goes, dude, this is a guy I used to like fucking, you know, be in high school with. And he was like, not bully, but just like not, you know,

be a dude. Ended up giving him a great deal. And it was this whole emotional catharsis of a car deal. And it's sort of a beautiful story. Yeah, no, Brooks said he gave him a killer deal. I thought Brooks was BSing him first, but no, that's a legit story. It's a true story, yeah. Now Brooks hangs out with him.

They play Overwatch. That's cool. Yeah, dude, car yeah dude cardio they gotta figure it out dude my beef of the week is look i'm gonna come across sanctimonious here sorry dudes i feel bad for kevin james what's going on with ke Kevin James? He's been memed. Oh. His picture's a meme. Who? Kevin James, the King of Queens. Is this new? Hitch. Yeah, you're not hip to this?

He's like the Farley guy. It's like, yeah, he's kind of become a meme once. Check it out. So this meme of him, it is a hilarious photo, though. It's always two-sided, because it is really funny. But this picture of him, making that face yeah it's become like the biggest meme in the world and people are just tacking dialogue onto it right and some of it's like okay it's like oh like when you fart and everyone asks like who did it and then it's that

photo let me see let me see right that's great is that bad though i guess maybe he likes it you know what is i'm just so like i'm such a puss some of them will be like oh when like their buddies buy you a drink and then say their buddies into you and then that's the buddy the ones that like pick on him yes yes and then that might only be 20 of them right but i didn't like it when michael jordan became a meme i just don't like it when dudes who like i admire right get memefied because it feels like it when dudes who like I admire get meme-ified because it feels like it just reduces who they are so much.

Right. And then they're just, it reduces them to a punchline. Right. And it just kind of bums me out. But I get it, it's just culture and it's not a big deal

and maybe Kevin James is cool with it. He seems like a well-adjusted guy and maybe he's not a pussy like I am, but I'm like, oh man, like,

no one deserves that. I just don't think anyone deserves that. I like Kevin James a lot. He's hilarious. Dude, he's so good in Hitch Yeah He's so funny in Hitch He's a killer YouTube

Have you seen his YouTube? Oh where he plays The sound guy? Yeah Those videos are amazing It's amazing I saw that And I was like

Oh this guy He's a fucking He grinds He's doing that on his own He's got enough dollars Yeah Dude he also He has a documentary

With him and Ray Romano Where they're playing Into like a celebrity Pro-am golf tournament At Pebble beach it's fucking hilarious they're competitive as shit yeah i think ray like it's really bummed out like borderline cries when he doesn't make the cut yeah and i loved it because it was so brave of them to put that out there because neither of them comes across like as their funniest coolest self it's them being like dudes who are like no i want to be good at golf. Right. And I like that. He seems like a good dude.

It's just tough, too, with a meme thing where it's like you're not in control of your narrative. And that's always tough. It's not their work. Yeah. It sucks. But I guess it comes with the territory, but yeah, it sucks. And you know what? Maybe I'm just trying to offer a little bit of a counterweight where everyone's like, alright, we're picking on Kevin James right now.

I'm like, someone's got to go to bat. No, for sure. And it's annoying, too. The internet. Dude, sometimes the internet pisses me off. The internet will be like, we decide what's funny. We know what the right thing to do is right now. And I'm like, shut up.

Kevin James decides. I'm like, who are the dudes? Yeah, Kevin James should decide. That's daddy. Yeah, dude. Let him fucking know. He's a good athlete. Kevin James decides. I'm like, who are the dudes? Yeah, Kevin James should decide. That's daddy. Yeah, dude. Let him fucking know. I heard he's a good athlete. I trust him.

Boss Root and the MMA fighter, he helped him train for his movie Here Comes the Boom. He's like, dude, he picks up stuff quick. Really? I think he was a high school wrestler. Good dick, too. He's also an actor. Fuck, has he got a good cock? He's got a big fat cock.

Big dick, yeah. Big fat cock? Yeah. Fuck. I saw him at the LA Fitness in Hollywood. Hot take. All UPS drivers have fat cocks. What?

He's playing racquetball. A lot of different people there. Yeah. I saw Miles Teller and KJ there. Whoa. Bro, the mix. That's what I'm talking about. Is that where you saw Miles Teller in a full Denver Nuggets uniform working out? That is.

What a dweeb. What a dweeb. This was... Huge dweeb move. This was right before Whiplash came out. He kept on wearing a full uniform. And I was like, wait, is that the guy from that awkward moment? Yeah, but dude, you did the ballsy move when we were flying to New York.

That's right. We were going to do Seth Meyers. That was so cool. And they put us up front of the plane. And they were like, oh, bro, bro it's Miles Tyler like five seats behind us and then Chad just throws on Top Gun waiting for him to walk by dude he walked by

didn't even look he walked to the bathroom I'm sure he saw it and then he walks back head straight and I was waiting for him no one ever holds their head straight yeah you hit him i saw you hit him with the bows yeah and he fucking it's whack dude he beefed you hard

it's whack i lost respect for him there yeah me too dude that's whack yeah he came off the airplane in his hoodie and i was like that's predictable and you know what can i be honest too no good dick no yeah we looked at his cock too yeah a little good cock those hangman what's his name again uh oh powell dude yeah great dude i love my boy glenn but long he probably has a long thin penis like a johnny cinzer like a dodger yeah yeah dude mark rockwell my buns on that time oh i'd put my buns on that for sure dude mark rockwell has a nice thin cock Really?

Powell can get it, dude He's witty, huh? Yeah Dude, he'd be fucking you from the back Hitting you with zingers like Hey, he's being clever Call this takeout right now He might wink

He might wink after you come He's definitely gonna wink For sure He put on Friends Arrogant, sexy fuck, dude Ha ha ha, dude Bro, can I ask you Who would even pull his penis all the way out you'd be

like just slip it out of the fucking zipper or something who did your chick rock with the most and everybody wants some bro the fucking guy who's into zoe deutsch the main guy uh oh really the brother from fucking i think that guy got me too dude really yeah whoa dude my wife's twisted she should i think she knew that i think she knew that when she was a new... She should have added the temple. She probably knew. Temple's a great guy. Yeah.

That guy got me too. The main guy. I don't even know what happened, but I just remember reading like an article. But like Temple the Catcher. I love him. My favorite. Love him. We're boys with him.

What? Yeah. Has he been on the pod? No. No, because he lives in Austin. Dude, zoom him in. Probably should. Skype him.

Yeah. He's a beast. He'll probably be in LA soon. He's the funniest guy. He's the best. He's really good in that movie. His character feels so realized. He's got some great lines.

He's very funny. Bro, dude, his line, what's everyone doing here? I know what we're doing here, but what's everyone else doing here? It's the best. Dude, I remember watching that movie. Dude, we went out drinking. We saw Greg Warner. We're like, dude, we're all getting a fucking shot and a beer.

I had to take my shirt off. We wanted to shine. Yeah, you had to take your shirt off. Yeah. That was a good one. Beautiful. All right, Chad, who's your baby of the week?

Dude, my baby of the week is Spooky Season. I love Spooky Season. I'm doing a horror movie every night. I'm doing horror movies. We're doing pumpkins yeah i'm doing horror movies we're doing pumpkins my girlfriend and i were going to be stormtroopers i'm doing classic horror movies saw the classic halloween maybe i'll do what's the other one the thing yeah oh yeah scary thing um dude just getting into it i love spooky season so much this you know what i'm a big summer guy but this might be my favorite time of year oh

you're a big halloween guy though dude yeah dude the fall is the transition of seasons dude summer to fall and then also winter to spring the best well it's like summer to fall and then you have you have spooky season but then you have the holidays after that looking forward to it's like such it's that's that's your your thanksgiving guy i love Thanksgiving, dude. I love Blackout Wednesday with my boys. Yeah. I'm at the bar, sleep in, wake up, good meal the next day. Then you get deals too, Black Friday. Yeah, you get good deals.

And you know, these Evans, Chris's, and Sonia's, they're going to call me and give me good card deals. I'm going to hold out. Yeah. I'm in no rush. Nice. I'm in no rush. Sick.

Are you already kind of bumming that spooky season will come to an end? Yeah. Would you say you're scared of that? Did you guys see the trailer for... That was sick. Respect. Hey. Which trailer?

Creator? No. Napoleon? Bro. Not what I was saying, but... Oh, dude. Yeah. The Flower Moon? Dude. Which trailer? Creator? No Napoleon? Bro Not what I was saying Oh dude Yeah The Flower Moon?

Dude Which one? Me and my What are we talking about? Napoleon dude What movie did me and my lady Oh we saw the GameStop movie That was actually pretty good

It was a little slick But I liked it Yeah I liked it It was slick but good And Dano's good in it Are all these movies Derivative of Adam McKay movies? A little bit

They're very that Big short started something But We saw the trailer for napoleon and the whole time i was just so fucking sick should we dress up yes let's dress up that's a plan wear the revolutionary hat yes dude we need to yeah you guys dressed up for hamilton i remember that famously yes we dressed up for top we dressed up for some top gun yeah we. We dressed up for Top Gun. Dude, we need to dress up for Hamilton. City Walk. Yeah.

But no, dude, I was saying, they're doing a horror movie about Thanksgiving. Oh, they are? It's called Thanksgiving. And I remember after the trailer,

it was the same thing for GameStop. I was like, that's smart. It's like the one holiday they haven't horrified yet. They've done Krampus for Christmas. There's the Leprechaun. A fake trailer and grindhouse was for thanksgiving really back then yeah oh wow so

they're like lifting a parody maybe this goes back to your point earlier is there any true satire anymore no doesn't exist things have gone too off the rails it's crazy who's your baby of the week this gotta be my freaking dank-ass wife, dude. We reorganized our bookshelf. We've been doing some fucking quality nesting. You know what we'll do? You know what me and my wife do? How many of those books are yours?

Like 12? Probably a couple less. Probably all the coffee table books are mine just you know motor cars of the past you know beaches of europe fucking dog do you do fuck say fuck you to me dude hey dude man fuck you man fine dude hey how good is it just to drop a good fuck you man to someone hey fuck you fuck you, man. That might be the best. I don't know if I can say it to Chad. I feel bad.

Let me say fuck you, dude. Hey. Hey. Chad, will you say it back to us? Hey, fuck you. Dude, I want to just love you. Yeah, you are very lovable when you say it, dude. It's hard.

Fuck you, dude. dude oh that was nice can i like i'm not trying to be martin scorsese here but you gotta be meaner to me you gotta be mad at me let me inspire you yeah let me inspire you hey hey hey fucker halloween sucks yeah halloween sucks and your butthole's not good Hey, fuck you guys He's too good, dude You're a good man, dude That's awesome though It's prismed in you

Thanks What me and my wife have been doing lately Is what we'll do is we'll stand outside people's homes And look in and imagine living their lives And it's The fall season's a good time to do that because you can be like oh i thought it was trick-or-treat night and they'll be like it's it's october 3rd we'll be like oh our bad 31st sorry we forgot about that but then we'll just

act drunk then all i jump oh i gotta take a piss and my wife will be like oh sorry he's gotta take a piss and it's just nice just imagining looking in you're pissing on the lives i'll piss on the lawn sometimes i'll have to double down and actually piss on their lawn yeah yeah i'm not allowed in a few neighborhoods but it's just nice we've been imagining lives together just nesting looking at homes being like it'd be nice to own that extra bathroom extra bedroom yeah nice space we were driving to pasadena to the coldplay show Oh bro Nice houses I've been We were thinking about moving there maybe From Burbank Yeah

Dude I never I've always been like It's too far from the Osh But we were driving through the houses That's the one downside Is that it's far from the Osh Yeah But the other

The plus side of that Is it doesn't feel like you're in the city When you're there Yeah It feels almost like Orange County That's kind of why I like it too It feels like San Juan a little bit Like those windy roads.

The homes are from the 90s and 80s. You might need to redo some plumbing, but it's nice. We were driving through and I was like, these houses are amazing. I'm asking all that while I'm looking at families. Is it fun to go to open houses? Hey, bro. You might have to leave, dude Hey dude Cool Hey, I'm gonna answer your question with a question

Who do you know here? Who do you know here, dude? You might have to dip, dude Alright, cool Party might be full, bro Sorry about that yeah you like to go to somewhere where you got to give your email address just to look around oh wait you don't like them wait what

dude it's just like that sometimes um dude my baby of the week i was making a weird face You were? Yeah, I was making a weird face I might get in and out after this Oh, I'm down Can I tell you something? I'm 100% in

I'm super into that I'm 100% in Should we keep recording at In-N-Out? Just live stream it Aaron, bring the cameras Yeah Are you hungry, Aaron?

Let's hear them call our numbers Yeah, good guy. We just have the cords. Dude, my baby's got to be my lady as well. Let's go. I know, man. It's just awesome. Dude, me and her had a fire movie weekend.

So we like to plan it out. Because it's just, you know, that's like total family time. I don't leave to do anything. We're just, we're bunkered down with the kids. It's really lovely. And like, you know, We'll just watch movies. We'll plan out. She's been really into adventure explorer movies right now. I

had the distinct honor. She's seen almost everything. If I can surprise her, it's the greatest story in the world. Showed her the right stuff. She loved it. She put it in her top five. It's such a good movie. You know I'm a cinephile. You know my girl's got to be a cinephile. Dude, I know I sound lame but like my girl's got the best top five she's got rocky all that jazz the right stuff jfk and then a new number five we watched it this saturday

inside out great movie and that's like her surprise pick jfk yeah you don't like jfk yeah well i respect it but give me what i respect it but none of those where i'm like genuinely curious but top five why don't you like it i think there's a better better other like movies that are in that category you know what she's an editor i think she thinks it's got like really good yeah the editing is incredible like remarkable like history real life stuff jumping storylines jumping timelines and it's all just blended beautifully yeah that's probably above my eye it's above my pay grade yeah i can see that she'll catch stuff i don't see like we were watching the gamestop movie she's like the continuity is incredible and i was like

but see i don't like it it's too slick for me i like it a little jagged i might be like you yeah i don't i don't i don't it to To be such a smooth ride You know When I'm on a roller coaster Take out a few screws Take out a few bolts Let me live a little bit Maybe I'll die Should we

Yeah We watched Inside Out All is Lost And then on Sunday The Godfather Ooh Bro And she's really into

Adventure Explorer Like hero movies So we watched Lost City of Z And then All is Lost Was the Adventure Explorer movie We watched this weekend But I'm running out of them I'm getting to like explorer like hero movies so we watched lost city is he and then all is lost was the adventure explorer movie we watched this weekend but i'm running out of them i'm getting to like the vertical limit point yeah would she even watch city slickers too masculine too much of a male

no she likes masculine movies would that would you put in that category almost it's almost like a city yeah maybe not really no and can i ask you a question this might be personal when you guys were doing the sports movie draft had you seen when you said rocky did you mean rocky for no i got that vibe to you don't lie to me dude have you seen Rocky? yeah I've seen most of Rocky no no Chad Chad Chad if you lie to me don't lie to me

look there's no stakes the fucking decision is out this is a safe bro this is a safe live space it's a live safe space it's live on TV which is crazy but the thing I will say is that

the thing that made me minorly suspicious in a major way was that you said rocky but then you talked about rocky three and four the training montage i was commenting yeah you talked primarily about that it's a good point you know i not consciously but maybe unconsciously i love that that's a very good answer It's an artist's answer And hard to pin down It's an artist's answer Alright

But yeah I haven't Watched Rocky I was like It's kind of boring It is a little bit Yeah Rocky 1 Yeah

Yeah Well that's the thing With 70s movies They take so I was watching Halloween Take their time Dude They take their time

It's 90 minutes. Hour and 10 is just build up. Him moving around. Yeah, and then he doesn't start killing for like seven minutes of the whole movie. Yeah. Last seven minutes. That's crazy.

Some titties though. Some titties. That was one thing I really enjoyed was I was like, there's some great titties in this. When you're watching something and some titties show up, you're in.

When he kills his sister, who's like 15. Who's hot. Who and some titties show up, you're in. When he kills his sister, who's like 15. Who's hot. Who has incredible titties. His sister's like 23, who's 15. You're like, yeah, that's amazing. Yeah, I was like, that's like a 30-year-old. Yeah. And then you could see the director just being like, she's got great tits.

Oh, 100%. I love that. It's a movie. 70s directors are like, they all have to have good tits. I was a PA, and I was watching the director one time. He was like a smart guy. And he was also like the star of the thing.

It was a smaller thing. But he was directing a hot chick, and he was going, jump up and down. Then move to the left, move to the right. And the sick smile he had by being able to boss around a hot chick and make her do exactly what he wanted was like the weirdest glee in his face. And me my buddy griffin who was like uh working on it we just

looked at each other like oh yeah like it was something to behold damn yikes chad who's your legend of the week dude my legend of the week is coldplay i saw coldplay live. Oh my God. They bring it. They bring it. And like, I say this in the Paul Verge pod, but like, I think, I think 40-Year-Old Virgin did them a huge disservice with their joke because ever since 40-Year-Old Virgin, I liked Coldplay before that. Same.

Then 40-Year-Old Virgin came out and everyone's like, oh, Coldplay's kind of hacky. They're kind of like a lame U2 or something. And so my girlfriend really wanted to see Coldplay. And I was like, yeah, I'll go to Coldplay. Check it out. I go, it's the most amazing live show I've ever seen. I was almost brought to tears. I was dancing.

Light shows were incredible. Good vibes. You can tell he's a spiritual dude. He starts doing yoga on the stage, and he's just spreading love. He's like, all right, everyone put their hands up. We're going to shoot love to everyone. And I was like, yeah, I'm shooting love. And dude, it was incredible.

It was like the best show I've ever seen. I was like, she was having a blast. I was like, that like the best show i've ever seen i was like i was like she was having a blast i was like that was the best thing i've ever seen and it just i was like and that inspired me i was like man i gotta be like more positive than the shit i do like that inspiring people and like spreading love like that was like like walking away from walking away from a show feeling that good is really powerful. That's a huge gift for the artist to give that. Yeah. It's awesome.

It's awesome. Did they play Clocks? That's a good song. Bro, Clocks on piano, dude. Yeah, Clocks, My Universe. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. Yeah. piano dude my yeah clocks my universe yeah he has a cool he has a cool lighting for that where he's like it's like kind of green and he's like a shadow and then the camera's on him and he's just like moving like this and uh yeah and i was like he shot quince palcho too dude huge are they

still together no but i think he's with the 50ty Shades of Grey actress now. He's with Dakota and she's with Brad Falchuk, I think. He was a writer on Glee. He wrote all my favorite episodes. Nice. Can you imagine being boned by Chris Martin? Being boned by Chris Martin? Yeah. He's got a big ass.

He's probably got a good motor. He's tall, too. Yeah, he's like six deuce. I love that. I love that. He probably has to do weird shit. I love hiding my rock stars. Yeah. He probably puts like ancient mud on you and he's like Six deuce I love that I love that He probably has to do weird shit I love to hide in my rock stars Yeah He probably puts like

Ancient mud on you And he's like Put this on your face Ancient mud Yeah is that real? That sounds like it I hope so dude You just gotta go down

A few fucking You know Levels in the Grand Canyon And fucking pull it up Yeah their first sesh He has like mud All over his face He's like

This is gonna help us Reach the taunter You know what he says? Yeah He mud all over his face he's like it's gonna help us reach tantric levels you know what he says yeah he puts on ancient mud yeah he's like it's gonna help us reach tantric levels

anything ancient's legit dude I love ancient shit yeah bro if you throw ancient on it cause here's the thing who's around to dispute ancient shit no one

you can say anything's ancient except Neil deGrasse Tyson true Neil deGrasse Tyson understands dude stars cosmos do you think Neil deGrasse Tyson. True. Neil deGrasse Tyson understands, dude. Stars, cosmos. Do you think Neil deGrasse Tyson dirty talks? Big time.

Big time. Yeah. Are you kidding me? Big time. He says cock? He's like, let me see that black hole. That guy never shuts the fuck up while he's fucking. Let me see that. Let me get a taste of Uranus.

Yeah, let me see that. Let me get a taste of that. He's like correcting her. Oh, let me see that white dwarf. She's like, I came. He's like, actually, you had a miniature orgasm. Real orgasm

happened 20 minutes from now when I start to stimulate your clitoris, which given the, you know, the neuron excitement that you'll have from my finger wiggling

will actually put you in a state of total dizziness, which can be confused with coming, but the coming doesn't happen until your limbic system incorporates. Call me daddy.

Well, the thing is, I could be your daddy depending on how many light years away we are right now. Theoretically, I could actually be the universe's daddy, if you think about it. Yeah, headlock, bro. Dude, he was a good... Have you seen him in college? He was buff and a wrestler. Really? Yeah, he was a college wrestler.

I believe, but he was buff. Let's go. Strider, who's your legend of the week? My legend of the week, dude, is that dome in Vegas. Dude, have you seen this dome in Vegas where U2 is playing Oh yeah dude it looks sick The sphere Bro I want to go there dude Yeah it looks tight

I just want to go there alone And just watch different stuff happen And it looks different from outside And I'm inside There's one here in Burbank No there's a mini here in burbank no there's a mini one in burbank airport yeah of course doesn't have the leds on the outside but but you can see sick shit on the inside like you can be like anywhere i think so dude if i see that

shit dude if i were in a band and i were playing a concert at the sphere you know what my whole background would be just a giant ball oh bro do you know how much i'd love to Just a giant butthole. Oh. Bro, do you know how much I'd love to hear you? Could the stadium be a giant butthole? Yeah, dude. Dude, just to switch from heavy AEG chords while I'm watching that fucking butthole, dude. Just pucker. I would love that.

Just puckers. And to mosh in someone's butt. So that thing looks sick. And look, I'm a Vegas guy. You guys know this. I love Vegas. That's something new for me to experience in Vegas. So we need to go.

We should all do a Vegas trip with our ladies when we can. I'm going to the Raiders game in December. Oh, nice. Who are they playing? Vikings. Bro. Get to see Jefferson in person. I want to go. That's a stud. I would love to go. We are they playing? Vikings. Oh, that'd be cool. Bro. Get to see Jefferson in person. I want to go.

Dude. That's a stud. I should have kept him. I would love to go. We'll stay for a bit. We'll catch a sphere show. I would love to. Yeah.

I didn't catch Jefferson. I should have kept Jefferson for 80. For Brady. You guys kept someone good, though, didn't you? Pacheco looks good. For a dollar. He's been running. Yeah, bro.

I mean, come on. Dollar keeper. Come on. Dude, my legend of the week isco looks good. For a dollar. He's been running a little bit. Yeah, bro. I mean, come on. Dollar keeper, come on. Dude, my legend of the week is Paul Conner. Conner Fantasy Football League. Here's the thing. Everybody in our Fantasy Football League graduated in two classes of high school, 06 and 08. And even having some 08ers in there was something us older dudes had to accept.

Then Paul Conner comes in, class of 09. I like the guy a lot. Love him to death. Always a good vibe. Always a good hang. We see him in Seattle when we go up there. He's the man. But he's a new guy in the league,

so I was wary of him. The guy brings it on every level. You're playing FIFA. You're playing Overwatch. You're playing Call of Duty. He's good at all three. He's good on comms. He's good on the sticks.

Then in the fantasy football league, he talks good trash. He talks good positivity. And he knows how to manage a team. Him and his brother are doing well this year. Yeah. They know talent. It's true. And then he's on the thread tonight. And we get this question from this dude about how to exist better in a new city.

Paul gets it. He moved to Seattle. He's the only bro who moved to seattle he's the only bro who moved to seattle he's a brave adventure explorer true going into uncharted territory we don't know anyone who went to seattle no it's a crazy place to go i just imagine there's a city full of postmen just delivering mail no idea what's going on up there but paul gets where this dude's coming from he gives it straight to him He says bro here's what you can do Volunteer

Yeah go help out And meet some other people who care about helping out They'll be good people with open hearts Salsa classes Dance slash dip This guy gets it Sports playing slash fan clubs Dude he's playing in rec basketball leagues

And he does well I heard he's shooting the lights out. I heard he's got a lot of boards, too. He's playing the fucking hitting the boards. Pulling down six or seven a game. Swing. Yeah. And then some other people were coming in with some advice.

A dog and going to dog parks. Boom. Very smart for if you're new in a city. Paul co-signs it. Good point, man. Crazy how even just walking a dog Or chilling with your dog at a brewery Leads to conversation

That's Paul just reaching out and connecting dude The guy's a beast When does he not It's true The guy's the man He's a social chameleon Love him to death He did tank

He can dance He can dance He can dance really well He can dance and he can party What do you call them the tank girls? I do It's after a I think it was maybe a Cosmopolitan magazine Yeah

Yeah, Lori Petty, exactly Yeah, Lori Petty Tank girl Yeah, they tanked Dude, we should We should Watch football And have Cosmos

Oh Bro Dude you're sick bro Dude what were those shots We used to take Washington Apples Yeah those were popular At the Shore Bar

Or whatever the fuck it was Yeah I remember those Dude I would have What's a Cosmo I remember not remembering those It's like vodka and red That's pretty fucked up dude

Vodka and red. I'm down. Are you drinking right now or are you not drinking? I will for this. Bro, if you want to watch ball on Sunday. Hey, bless you, Aaron. If you want to watch Niners, Cowboys on Sunday. I can't.

Yeah. I'm there. I can't go, but I'm there. You got your kids. Do you want to watch the Jags at 6 a.m.? Oh. London time? Dude, I might be able to swing that. And go to that London bar?

Dude, if we do the 6 a.m. at the London bar where we watch that soccer match. The Fox and the Hound. Yeah. Oh Dude if we do this 6am at the London bar Where we watch that soccer match I could do this 6am I could do this 6am Bro that's an animal move And then you're buzzed by 9 but guess what Then I'm back and I bring home pancakes for the wife I'm actually nicer when I'm buzzed

No one even knows that's why I keep drinking all the time Yeah exactly you gotta always be buzzed There's no problem officer No as long as I'm drunk I'm cool Where's the fox even knows. That's why I keep drinking all the time. Yeah, exactly. You got to always be buzzed. Yeah. There's no problem, officer. No, as long as I'm drunk, I'm cool. Where's the Fox in the Hound? Ventura in the Valley. It's not too far. It's not too far.

No, it's not bad. Studio City, yeah. Yeah, Ventura's like, yeah. Dude, Ventura runs for a while. Dude, you can get there no problem. Trust me. That's real. Trust me, no problem.

Trust me, we're there. Dude, Fox in the Hound at the 6 a.m.? I'm horny for it now. That's awesome. Dude, you can get an English breakfast, bro. Get yourself a fucking black and white, dude. A little fucking, what's the Guinness and a little bit of the numbers? Carlsberg, let's go.

Bro, you know what else I realized? I got CTE. Oh, yeah? Oh, you probably do. You've had a lot of concussions. Yeah, I got CTE. How do you know? I just like, I got my brain scanned

And they're like Yeah it's fucked Really? Yeah Is this for real? So that's why I'm annoying You're not annoying That's true I'm sick

You're the man What are you talking about Annoying dude Get the fuck out of here dude Did you get a bone You're jacked And you're the man What are you talking about dude

Is this for real? Yeah I got CTE But I'm chill Yes You have chill CTE Well that's the thing They said I was bipolar. Then the doctor walked that back.

He said, go get a scan because there is something going on, but it's not bipolar. Before that, they tried to say it was the ADHD, but I've like totally superseded that. I mean, the way I'm looking at it is like I'm kind of like racking these things up like diplomas, like degrees. And at this point, I'm like a doctor of like brain shit. You're just interesting. So I'm looking for what's next after the CTE, but I'm going to doctor of like brain shit you're just interesting so I'm looking for what's next

after the CT but I'm gonna keep it chill no matter what it is can I make a call Lyme disease yeah wait Lyme disease

that's elite yeah that's elite you gotta buy some ticks yeah dude go to Vermont that's where they're at hold on

yeah Middlebury yeah Bieber got it what's up Bieber got it yeah he's tired Yeah, dude. Go to Vermont. That's where they're at. Hold on. Yeah. Middlebury? Yeah. Bieber got it. What's up? Bieber got it. Yeah, he's tired.

I swear to God, dude. No judgment. Like, for real. I know he's dealing with a lot. I've seen him live in concert. He looks tired. Really? Yeah, he's fatigued.

Fuck. He's fatigued. Chris Martin, though, doesn't get fatigued. Not fatigued. Does he have it? No. Oh, yeah. He's just boned, dude.

His ass is too big. He's got something else. He's got a big ass. Yeah. He's got a big ass. Am I right? I don't think so. I think he's just boned dude his ass he's got something else he's got a big ass yeah he's got a big ass am i right i i don't i don't think so i think he's like lanky i know guys who have hooped with him and they say he's athletic which is no surprise does backflips does he do backflips gun to your head you gotta see coldplay or imagine dragons go when you were at coldplay at first, when I watched the Instagram video, I thought it was Imagine Dragons.

Exactly. They both have gongs. They're cool. And I think both lead singers are 6'3", so it's really how jacked do you want them? Because the Reynolds guy from Imagine Dragons is a house. He's fucking yoked, dude.

He's doing like hip workouts and shit. I want him clogging the lane. A-gap, B-gap. Fucking B-gap. Let's go. They both have gongs. It comes down to like Britain or Or America

It comes down to like Britain or England right Yeah are you a patriot dude No Not when it comes to music That's true Actually you know America has great musical heritage

Probably the best Yeah But The Brits do it right German Rammstein dude Yeah hall do hosh yeah we should go to a romstein but that fucking 99 6 a.m on a sunday dude jt's available at 6 a.m these days dude let's hang out bro live stream of romstein dude dude if we flew to germany we could be back by the morning on sunday i. I could probably get it done.

That'd be sick. Dude, here's the thing. If our wives go to bed at 5 p.m. on Saturday, and we've got a flight from fucking Burbank at fucking 6 p.m. international somehow, we could go anywhere in the world and be back by 6 a.m. We do joke around, but we are going to San Jose and Chico in a couple days. Horny for that.

Dude, you know how horny I am for that? I'm horny for it. Yeah. The train ride, just kicking it with the boys. Are we training from Jose to Chico? It's probably the best way. It's a five-hour train, five-hour drive. What do you guys prefer?

The train, right? Yeah. Because otherwise what you have to do is you have to fly to Sacramento and then drive another hour. It's not an easy place to get to. You can relax on the train. Yeah, you can read and stuff. Oh, yeah. Is there stops where you can eat?

There's a food cart. But we should probably get food before we crew. We should get good, solid food. Five-hour train ride. Yeah, something makes us feel good. Probably some In-N-Out. I'll do it if Chad will flash B-Hole. Right now?

No, on the train. In one of those four-seaters? I'll take a ticket, and I'm like, here's my b-hole. Have a deck of cards play Go Fish and show us your b-hole. Alright, now we got a plan. Now I'm on board. Huge. Should we end there? Yeah, let's go. Guys, thank you for joining

for the stream. Make sure you have a good stream. Legends. And if you don't, you might have prostate issues. So check that. Check that. Dude, legit.