Going Deep with Chad and JT - EP 313 - Paul Virzi

Episode Date: October 18, 2023

Today we are joined by a stand up comedy legend, Paul Virzi. Paul headlines comedy clubs across North America and hosts two weekly podcasts, “The Virzi Effect,” and “Anything Better?” co-hosted with Bill Burr, on the All Things Comedy network. Paul has performed throughout Europe and in America's most iconic venues including, Madison Square Garden, The Chicago Theatre and Carnegie Hall.  Paul's NEW Special:https://www.netflix.com/title/81605956 Find out more about Paul:https://paulvirzi.com/ Grab some NEW dank merch here:https://shop.chadandjt.com/ Come see us on Tour!Tickets on http://www.chadandjt.com Call us, leave a 60 sec voicemail with your issue or question: 323-418-2019or write in to chadgoesdeeppodccast(at)gmail.com(Start with where you're from and name for best possible advice) Check out the reddit for some dank convo: https://www.reddit.com/r/ChadGoesDeep/ Episode Sponsored by: Marine Layer Clothing:  Find your new favorite fits and get 15% off Marine Layer with promo code GOINGDEEP15 at https://www.marinelayer.com/#marinelayerpod

What's up, guys? Welcome to the podcast. I want to let you guys know that the merch is still on sale, but for a limited time. And they're super sick items. Get some stoke gear. Get fired up. Go to shop.chat. Let me say that again. Go to shop.chat. Dude, go to shop.chatandjt.com. We're also on tour. We got Nashville. Well, we were just in Nashville, but we have Charlotte tonight. And then on top of that, we got Bozeman, but that's sold out. But then we got New York coming up. That's going to be a hot, hot show. Make sure you get on that. Tickets are going fast. And we got Denver and Detroit weekends there. Minneapolis, Varsity Theater. Get on that one. Get your tickets at chattandjt.com. We're also brought to you by the legends at Marine Lair.

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This is Chad Kroger coming in to go deep with Chad JT Podcast. I'm here with my compadre, John Thomas. What up? Boom, clap, Stokers. Praise be to God. Oh, dude, that's a new one, all right. Well, yeah, because you said hallelujah. Yeah, praise the Lord.

We're here with Paul Verzi. What's up, dude? Dude, thank you for joining. Dude, thanks for having me. You religious? What? You rock with God? Yeah. Yeah, I do. Good. I do, man. dude thank you for joining dude thanks for having me you religious what you rock with god yeah yeah i do good i do man i definitely not in like a it's almost like an you know it's been an internal

thing with me but now i'm like cool with just being like hey man like i believe and and i've you know things that have uh i've asked for and prayed for have been like it's answered and you know and i've just feel like uh i remember i was on rogan and he goes you think someone's looking out for you huh and i was like yeah i kind of do yeah i kind of do so does he believe in god you know what i didn't get into it like you know because who knows where that would have gotten that kind of got like that we kind of like mentioned at the end right three hours so it didn't really get there i kind of asked like if you were like if he's like spiritual or stuff but i didn't get a vibe that like there was like you know he didn't jump into it with me but i would i definitely believe in in a god yeah

nice i think i think in this business it's helpful to be spiritual. For me, because it's like there's so much uncertainty, especially when you're starting out. But I definitely got more kind of, I didn't grow up religious, but I've always had like a spiritual kind of, like my parents didn't take me to church, but I've always been interested. Yeah. And I think when I got out here, definitely,

that's when it turned up a little bit more. You're kind of wired for it, right? Yeah. I love it. I love philosophy, all that stuff. Because you listen to Osteen, too, sometimes. I listen to Osteen sometimes. Do you? He's great, dude.

He's so uplifting. I listened to him, and I was like, you know, because we made a video. They made a video where our buddy Strider impersonates him he looks just like him so we like snuck into one of his events I know Strider

I did his podcast the last the special came out yeah and and so always we always

kind of make fun I listened to all of his things I was like this is I might listen to this every morning this is great I just love that he just like made all the homeless

just not even close to letting them in. Dude, I love how he was just like, yeah, dude, God will help you, but dude, get off my property. Yeah. Can you be both things? It's tough. You can be, man.

You can be both. You can believe in God, but not want people. Do we have space for him? That's so funny, dude. It was tough for me i was like he's probably a bad dude but then his sermons do rip so i get why i get how he made all the money to buy the place that homeless people aren't allowed at and holding that like listen i do

stand up right and i've been fortunate enough to be in some you know thousands of people hundreds of people but for like olstein to just walk around in like these massive arenas and hold that attention and crush like that, you know, really not telling jokes. Like maybe I'm sure he throws one in that he thinks is good, but to like a standup level, it's probably like a five, you know, but he's like in it, man. You gotta, it's a, that's a lot to hold that attention, man. He does start off with, he goes, I like to start off with something funny. And then he goes, the coin start off with something funny and then yeah yeah and then he like has the same the way like the vocal he's like i like literally i listen last time i listened to him was probably like six months ago but he does like a prayer at the top

and i was listening to him like consistently for like two weeks because it just fired me up yeah i was like hell yeah and then i started driving driving around be like i believe in the word of god just like yelling it out i'm like hell yeah i'm gonna pray with them what is it is true too it's like that makes you unique like it's kind of more popular now to like talk down to religious people yeah so being a religious person is almost like punk rock in a way it is yeah it's yeah because who else is doing it? Who else who's cool is doing it? Yeah, it went from looking weird to now so many people, but I think that's a result of people

not believing and mocking. And if you look at the music industry and you look at Satanism, that's like a legit, some of the biggest rappers now are like, they're straight up out with the Satan is that real yeah no they have like there's clearly like some sort of like we're going the other way and then you don't know but what's weird to me is like when you see the red when you see the red shit at can you curse on it yeah oh okay but like

when you see like them wearing red all of them wearing red at the like the halftime like it was one of those things where i was like i don't want to get crazy into the conspiracy but then when they kept saying it they're like just look and then i looked and i'm like all of these huge people at one point others like was like red at the super bowl and they're saying like that's part of this you're all the way in then right so you think they're trying to spread satan on us i i you know what i can't say that i i don't want to say that for sure because I don't want to be one of these. But when you hear it- There's stuff to see.

And then you look at, there's definitely stuff to see and there's points that were made. So when I see that, I'm going, oh yeah. And they were like, oh, Rihanna's part of the Illuminati and look at things. And then you're like, no, she's not. And then you watch and you're kind of like, and then all the people that they say are associated together are kind of in the same shit. And now I'm going like, I mean, I don't know if I'm just too much time on my hands or my mind just goes. But I'm like, is this like a thing?

Yeah. Or is just everybody being silly and stupid? Yeah. Right? What do you think of the, what's his name, Sam Smith? Yeah. The Grammys? Do you remember that?

Yeah. Do you remember when he first came out yeah when Sam Smith first came out it was like preppy oh right it was like

sweater vest preppy and now it's just you know fat like you know chick fat

short like dude he's like walking through he's got like dude he has like jean shorts that are like with his bottom

of his ass hanging out like his back I saw him at a party. We saw him at a party once. Yeah, we did. Dude, he's big. Like he's like O-lineman big.

Like when I saw him, I was like, bro, you could be like a big burly gay run blocker for the Giants, dude. You guys could use him right now. Yeah, we needed him last night. No, but like. He could be doing pass pro for danny dimes you guys need him out there he's big dude but how about this he came out devil horns holding the you know and it's like it's like what what is that now are they all mocking here's the

other thing are they all mocking that they're that's what i think it is i think it's that people people are writing them messages every day being like you you're a Satanist, you're going to hell. And there is that thing where like when people pick on me for something that I'm not doing, it makes me want to do that thing. It makes you almost embrace it. Yeah. You're like, okay, now I'm in. Well, if I'm getting in trouble for it, then why the fuck not?

I'll just be the worst version that you think I am. Yeah. What's crazy is that the one time, and listen, I've had hate. We've all had hate, right? I'm sure you guys with with the stuff you do you get hate right yeah yeah but and i've got you know luckily 95 percent of the special was was all good the one time i got the most vis the one time i got the craziest hate was i actually had to shut the thing down for a while or just take the post out was i

made a tweet where i said i said most of my atheist friends this is what the tweet was i was like most of my atheist friends are so full of shit because i see you on the airplane in turbulence do a quick little sign of the cross just in case total that like that was it yeah dude dude i'm talking a firestorm of like versi how dare you i sat at the foot of my father's bed when he was dying of cancer not once did I pray to an invisible God you just lost a ticket to your show like and dude it got to the point yes sorry we don't pray to an invisible Santa in the sky and I'm just going like this then they started like then people started to like say stuff about my family in a week like and

then and then I was like and you know something I took the tweet down and my wife even goes you shouldn't have I'm like and you know what I shouldn't have down and my wife even goes you shouldn't have I'm like and you know what I shouldn't have like thinking back I should have just left it there never looked at comments let time go by

but it was the most evil it was the most evil going at me way more than any bit I've ever done and I've done bits about you know mental health

and you know sensitive stuff sensitive stuff things that people edgy school shooting I closed with a school shooting joke on my Comedy Central thing in 2018.

Nothing. And then this was like a simple, you're in turbulence on an airplane, do a quick sign. And people were like, I couldn't even, I mean, I'm talking thousands and thousands. And it was really like, oh, okay, that's what's going on. Like, this is a real thing that people you know so i don't know what the like the anti-god like thing that's hitting right now is i mean and that was a little long ago but now i'm starting to see people starting to come out and go no i believe in jesus and god i believe it's like everyone's in prison or something at the drop of a hat they're

ready to like just throw this is the weirdest time i was talking to who was i was talking to somebody about this might have been uh maz jabrani shout out to maz we were talking at the at the improv out here and it's going like this is really like the craziest like remember back in the day comics would be like man shit's crazy but it wasn't it was like it was like it's not crazy just a normal summer day you know shit's crazy out there. A plane went missing in Malaysia. We're like, this is crazy, dude. Yeah, and now it's like people are seeing UFOs like they're commercial flights. Yeah.

People are like, aliens are like, it's okay that they're probably here. People are fighting about all kinds of- Yeah, we got two 90-year-olds competing for president. Yeah, the president's like, dude, think about it. And this is not even a political, like I like i said in the special i didn't vote for trump or biden but dude joe biden is like legit talking to like the president of greece and just actually closed his eyes and almost started and the president's just going like the other president was going like what the it was almost like it was like i was watching a sketch

yeah because the united states of america it's like the crazy you know i mean people are like you know what you like all this stuff man a drag shows and in prone everyone I don't even know what to it's just really wild isn't it isn't it a wild it's wild you can get confused you get it scary do you think is there the argument like there let's say like a hundred years ago everyone everyone's pretty religious right everyone had like everyone kind of agreed on the one thing that they The argument, like, let's say, like, a hundred years ago, everyone was pretty religious, right? Everyone had, like, everyone kind of agreed on the one thing that they believed in, right? Right.

We had some cultural bedrocks. Yeah. And so now it's like that Nietzsche thing where he said, like, God is dead. It's like, now that people disagree on their beliefs and all that kind of stuff, there's, like, Now that people disagree on their beliefs and all that kind of stuff, there's like, do you feel like humans have a need for something to believe in? Yes, dude. That's actually heavy, dude.

Yeah. Like they have a whole, some people have a whole. We have no big truths that the majority of us can agree on. Yeah. Yeah, that's a heavy thing you said. And I actually, as you were saying it, I'm going, yeah, because like if you go back even further than that, let's say you go back 200 years. you're talking everybody kind of had i mean you don't want to go too far back because then everyone's like the earth is flat and shit so now

they're that's a whole other caveman shit so now you're like is there a middle is there like a middle ground of intelligence or a sweet spot but you're right when everybody kind of because here's the one thing that the church does give and i know that there can be extremists and i've seen it on the other side on the religious side where like they'll like want you completely ostracized and put you in some other put you in some bubble that's not real either and you're going away so i know that it's not just the the the one side but um it's funny how like if you look at the basics of church right it's thou shalt thou shalt not kill thou shalt not like steal like it's kind of like morally like kind of saying to be good and it's kind of hard to argue with too like who can argue with the

ten commandments well yeah like thou shall not okay yeah don't kill your neighbor dude yeah you know and it's like yeah i mean i could kind of get on but you know what i mean where it feels like it's so far away from that i saw something horrible the other day and i was scrolling through and i don't mean to be like i just saw there was dude and i guess he's just walking down the street he's got his and he's just looking around i guess he was like a meter mate or whatever and this dude just turns the corner and they just showed surveillance and the guy just walked up to him put a gun to his head point black and shot and i just saw this dude's body just collapsed and then luckily in the comment it said one of the women said in the comment miraculously the guy lived and i don't know how it would be possible dude from what I saw I saw a man get a gun to the head

pull go down and the dude lived which is like incredible Paul I got news for you what he's dead all right well come on man is it just a yeah I just I was hoping I was just hoping yeah I just read the comment did you write the comment? No. Everybody, it's fine. This was a prank. This was not. Paul? They made it look really grimy, but dude, trust me. No, but like, and you see things like that, and you're just like, man, something's missing.

Something's lost. So whether that's God to people, but when you hear people go, man, like when you lose that, look what happens. And then something is happening. I'm like, why wouldn't I jump on board and just be like yeah man maybe something's needed right and maybe that's what maybe that's the the the hole that needs to be filled is is with God and I never would have said that on a podcast before so you opened up and you asked me how I feel and I'm just looking at all this craziness happening and I'm going like maybe what you just said hits hits home dude well I think i think there's like i feel like there's

eternal truths you know and like every religion there's like there's commonalities yeah and philosophies and religion and and it's like but then you know religions they've been tainted by like human corruption and greed like the church you know like that's a human construct and so humans kind of ruined it but with like you know catholic church or whatever with yeah they fucked up yeah they fucked up but you know but then yeah so so now i think people like associate that with the religion you know right and so i think that's what kind of like turned people off but i think there's i feel like there's kind of what like what you're But I think there's, I feel like there's kind of, like what you're saying, there's a return to like,

oh no, there's like some like deep truths that we need to hold on to. Yeah, and I feel like with like the priests and stuff, it's like pastors should just be able to have like a, like pastors at my family go to have a wife and kids and all that stuff. Yeah. You know? Yeah, well well the popular thing i grew up catholic and the the story you've learned when you're like around 18 you start hearing about the downside of churches that they used to be able to

get married and then the church was like running out of deficit financially and they wanted to collect all the inheritance so they made it easy that's what my fellow catholics who look into stuff told me oh wow yeah so basically like i don't know what year it was it might have been even like uh 1200 or something like not as far back as you would think the the pope was like hey we need this cash they got to stop getting married and then so they just got a huge windfall wow and then they stuck with it yeah and and what sucks is sucks is when people use that to do evil. It's just like, you know, I'm like you. It's like, can you find the middleman?

That's the problem. There's no middleman in anything. Yeah. You know, you can't talk about like, you know, Maz and I were talking, and Maz is somebody that he's openly leans left. And I'm like, I'm kind of in the middle of everything. I take every side. Financially, fiscally,

I lean a little right, right? Yeah, sure. But other than that, social issues, I'm totally down to the bit, but like he's somebody that I can sit, have a beer, and it's all good.

That's not the case in the country. You can't sit with somebody because now it's like- At least not a lot. I feel like person to person is still a show. Yeah, I mean, yes. I think definitely person to person is better, but like when you do stand-up in New York City now, man, it's one of the worst, and I'll say this, and I hate to say to person it's better but like when you do stand

up in New York City now man it's one of the worst and I'll say this and I hate to say because it's where I got my bones it's where I learned everything and it's and when it's great it's the greatest stand-up city in the world but dude you go on stage now and you say something I'll tell you what I thought it was much better at the at the Hollywood improv where yeah you get a couple people make faces and as great York, listen, 90% of New York is great. But you'll get tables that are looking to see if other people are laughing and they're upset. And you're going like, what? We're in this to like, because the city is so, the city is, well, first of all, the city is very left.

Upstate New York, not so much. But it's like, you're on a team, dude. And if you're not on team left or right, people are like, what are you doing? Pick one. And it's like, I'm not like that. I'm like, let's have an open discussion about everything. But people won't. No, they're not taking it in good faith.

Nobody's taking it like that. They're just like, no, you're nuts. You're the problem. And then other people are like, you're nuts. And then you start doing that. You start getting personal on people. I've been doing that. Yeah?

Oh, dude, I'll get into it with some commenters, and I'll just fight with them for like hours commenters on you yeah i kind of love it actually oh dude you you don't ignore no dude it's funny too one guy was like hey why don't you go spend time with your kids and i was like i really do and i tell my girlfriend i'm like i'm arguing with commenters but i'll literally i kind of have fun with both like i'll be with my kid i'll be like i love you so much you're the cutest boy in the world i'm like i think he needs to take a little nap let's put him down then i'll pick up my phone like shut up bitch it's hard when it gets but we were talking about that before on the show it's hard when it gets personal because when it gets personal you want to just you know but it's it's really there it's not like i'm a couple years

away like i don't do it anymore and it's it's the greatest oh yeah i'm not gonna do it forever i'm just gonna do it for like a couple more months. But I do get a big charge out of it. And I do feel like kind of righteous in it where I'm like, it's kind of like, to me, people are like, don't be immature. I'm like, someone is talking shit to me. If you're in real life and someone said those things to you, you would say something back and you would owe it to yourself to say something back.

So if someone goes in, I'm just like, I try not to escalate it but i try to always meet them exactly where they're at so they get a taste of what they're dishing that's i dude i actually as much as i don't want to do it dude i respect it dude you got heart but you can't fight the world dude like you'll be up there all night i think i can dude i'll put it out there right now. Keep coming. I'll keep coming back. I got it. Yeah, I remember one time I got hammered, and I just went to every negative one, and it was all night. It was all night, and I was just like, I just kept going. But do you remember that as a fun night or as a bad night?

I had a lot of angst, dude. I mean, I'm fighting people, and I'm saying things, and you don't know, and then one guy was like, why would you even respond to me? And then I feel like an asshole. I like fuck he but the low self-esteem of that person to say why would you even respond to me like how does that person think about themselves right right no i mean you ever hear that uh sarah silverman thing where sarah silverman a guy was like you know you liberal of sea world like just and she just looked at his page and she just goes hey man i could tell you're hurt and dude if you want to get a cup of coffee. Yeah.

And like, you know, and like, he was just like, you know, yeah, things are bad. And she's like, it'll be okay. And like, she completely diffused it and flipped it. Cause that's really what it is. With love. Cause you can't be, dude, I look at your guys' show. I look at what you guys do. If you can't be mad, are you like nuts?

You know what I mean? It's like, do you know what, there's so many other fights to take. It's like, if you're going to do that to like laid back chill people or even like yeah you see me and some people are like oh you know i'm a first of all not a people don't think of me as a rude new yorker but like you know a guy with like energy and a new york energy and an attitude a little bit but like the joke is just we're just telling jokes to have fun and be funny and and enjoy it so if you're gonna really take the time out it's kind of like at the end of the day they know it's a little sad

they have to I remember the one time I talked shit this was like 10 years ago talked shit to a celebrity on Instagram it was James Franco you talked shit to him? oh yeah he blocked me

and it was something where he had an art gallery open I'm like you artsy bitch but i was like domination dude but you're just fucking with him i was just but i just go back to that feeling of like man it'd be so funny if james franco saw this like there's something he did dude he blocked you he blocked me yeah there's it's like it wasn't personal because i liked him you know i was like i uh this is the end just came out i was like yeah he's wearing cardigans he's cool and then uh i was like yeah it'd be funny if i just like yeah i was like 22 i was like if i just said something almost like talking shit to one of your friends exactly yeah it wasn't like personal i was just like it'd be funny just to

talk shit to him because he's like a celebrity. That's cool. And then, and they blocked me. I haven't, You think it was him or his people? That's a good question. I don't know. Yeah, like maybe they, he's got someone

who just filters all, I think it was Franco. But it might have been him, especially if like, since the fallout that he's had, right? Yeah.

He's had a falling out the last few years. Yeah. You know. That was a, that was a complicated one for me because uh i had seen him talk about some of that stuff and i feel really bad about it before he got in trouble

yeah never mind i feel like i'm stepping into something i need to this is all getting edited no but it does suck when like you know what's but here's the deal can we say this I probably shouldn't say this yeah we can always cut it yeah go baby go but like his friends that kind of

like abandoned him like those guys were like his boys boys and it's like would you like I mean I get it but like do you just go cold

on somebody because of the business or do you think they call up right do you think somebody calls up and goes hey dude look you know with everything going on and the calls up and goes hey dude look you know

with everything going on and the business i can't really be but you know i love you like let's hang or do you think it's just like no piece of shit like and then just like out because i i gotta be honest with you with the exception of like something really horrible like obviously sexual assault all that stuff but like if i had a friend that made a mistake and got like i would i couldn't just be like yeah dude i can't fuck or you don't call me anymore i couldn't unless unless unless the crime was like really something that was brutal no dude i think about that stuff with like people yeah like i there's a part of me that's like oh you probably would i would turn my back on somebody for that all right let's give examples no but i don't like that part of myself like i i would rather be the kind of person who's like fuck the

public even a sinner deserves love you're my brother i'm here to help you get better not to judge you for what you've done but it is tough and it's like no but some of the people like you know look the the harvey weinstein yeah The monster shit. I break them up into monster, pervert, and creep. Those are my three categories. Yeah, exactly. And I think the monster is just like, yeah, that Kevin Spacey thing is ridiculous. Those guys got to go down for it. You touch a kid, you go down.

You know what I mean? You're raping women, dude, you go down. Dude, you sound so badass right now. I feel like I'm in the movie Gone, Baby Gone or something. You touch a woman, you go down. You's you sound so badass right now i feel like i'm in like the movie gone baby gone or something yeah oh yeah touch a woman you go down touch you you touch a kid you die yeah yeah well so on the good side who's like the most moral person you've ever known i would say my stepfather is a moral man I would say in this business I would have to say Bill Burr

who's been like an older brother and mentor to me I would say Bill is incredibly moral Giannis Papas is a friend of mine and he's a real

you know just a good dude so yeah I would say and I'm proud to say this the people that I surround myself with you know because I'm very I'm a very you know small, and I'm proud to say this, the people that I surround myself with.

Because I'm a very small circle guy. I'm friends with everybody and I'm good to everybody. But who's really in there is only a few. The people that come to my house on Christmas or that I would want around my family. It's a small circle. But those dudes that I just mentioned, I know those dudes are going to do the right thing. I know those dudes know what's right and wrong i know that they have a code of like what it really should be in life and and that's really who i who i you know make my company really like an awesome stepdad to me is like the most beautiful thing in the world yeah yeah no that's a touchy

thing with me because i'm sorry no no no in a good way uh uh i love talking about this shit because you know it's nice to it's nice to uh uh i love talking about this shit because you know it's nice to it's nice to be on a podcast where you're not like you know fucking worst gig fuck where'd you bombed you know it's like yeah we've been they walk did you get booed it's like yeah nobody wants it but um no like yeah my parents got a brutal divorce when i was five and my older brother christian was 10 brutal divorce handled wrong put in the middle uh just really horrible the worst way moving a lot really traumatizing shit that happened that caused me to have you know ocd and anxiety all kinds of stuff that a little kid shouldn't go through right stepfather was there and the cool thing is even though my

stepfather and i didn't gel gel because we were different it was just like do the cool thing is, even though my stepfather and I didn't gel gel, because we were different, it was just like, do the right thing. He was solid. It was always do the right thing. And when my mom got stage four cancer, there for her. Like the whole fucking, you know what I mean? So my mom got stage four cancer, late 90s. I was a senior in high school. Surgery, cancer-free.

Then it came back, surgery, cancer-free, but you can't keep having surgery on your stomach right after a while. Then it started to develop all over her liver, all over. Stepfather found, I was like early 2000s, found the Dana-Farber Institute in Boston. They came up with a test drug two months before my mother's last relapse. My mother was on her way out, stage four. She's alive today because of a test drug. My stepfather was doing the research. My stepfather was looking for places. My stepfather stood by. Very religious,

okay? But very moral, very do the right thing, hard worker, UPS driver for 20-something years, just doing the right thing. So even though we didn't always agree on things in life, we had different philosophies on things, solid, like you said, good dude, and there. And when you see that, that was a good example of like, okay, you know what? That's a dude that gets up every morning, works, stayed with his wife through hard shit, did all that. You got to respect that. Where did he learn it from? That's a great question, man. Like, I don't, you know, he was just in my life.

I was young. My parents separated. They were, you know, he's a little younger than my mom. But, yeah, dude, he just was like a good dude. And I don't know. Maybe religion. You know, he's very much a Christian. know maybe religion you know he was very he's very much a christian so i think that that probably reading the bible and stuff like that probably was why he just but he's very much you know

like that you know that's awesome yeah yeah so inspiring so yeah man when you meet somebody that that's just like wants to do the right thing but then you got then and especially this business then you got people that will like make up stories and they'll make up lies and they'll go on podcasts and they'll take somebody else's story and then they'll do this. And it's like what you said, anything,

because in their mind, it's like I'm going to get in show business and do any fucking thing I can to be here. And no matter what, that's fine. But once I get there and I got the money and then that's still not going to make them feel good. But to them,

it's like they don't even, like people that do that, they almost like don't even feel, see, you guys, I could already, you guys are like moral good dudes. So like when something

like that happens, you're going to be like, like could you ever, like, imagine there was two guys that did your show and you guys just stole it and did it

and like started to, started to grow on it knowing though, knowing deep down inside that you stole two dudes' personas. No, you'd deny it, right? You would say like, no, but it's knowing though, knowing deep down inside that you stole two dudes' personas. No, you'd deny it, right? You would say like, no, but it's different.

But knowing that you guys actually sat, talked about it, said, let's do that. Like good people wouldn't feel good with that. Good people wouldn't. Destroyed by that. Yeah, and I've talked to people.

I was at a party at the stand. Do you know the stand comedy club? Yeah, of course. It's beautiful. Yeah, yeah. So we were there and uh we were talking outside and uh you know the uh a comic who's in the news uh recently yes for yeah for for making something up yeah i was just talking about that today i was talking to this comic and this comic goes yeah dude i'm a liar i would have done it too

and i swear to god that's very charming though just goes like this goes oh no dude i'm a liar i would have done it too and i swear to god that's very charming though just goes like this goes oh no dude i would and then when i got caught i would be like no i'm a liar yeah i trust that guy they were like and you know something it was actually a woman and she goes oh yeah i'm a fucking i lied about the whole thing i gotta get i don't care what i have she goes i have no dignity yeah she goes i don't give a fuck yeah because don't you know me i'm a liar yeah but i was like okay you know i could least, even though that's not me, I could respect it. Because they're being straight up about it. Because you're just like, that's who you are.

So I respect the honesty, but I don't respect the action. So it's like, for me, I couldn't feel good. But that's also my OCD. It's also any kind of insecurity that I have. That would be, that would, dude, you guys don't understand. If you knew me, you would know. Like, ask Bill, ask Giannis, those guys. Like, that would be, that would, that would, dude, you guys don't understand. If you knew me, you would know, like ask Bill, ask Giannis, those guys like that would haunt me. That would haunt me.

Well, no, but I get it. Cause the worst thing is to be found out to be a fraud, like to get called out for that. To just be known as like to a lie. And especially if you benefited from it, you know, like you benefit from something, whether financially, whether just in your career you you get to like this point and and this this is a name i can't mention i i'll tell you guys off i'll tell you guys off but there's somebody that i know like tell stories that go viral and they're just not they're just not true or there's someone else's and there's just no conscious and you know and

people start selling tickets and it's like i just for me it's like i can and you know and people start selling tickets and it's like i just for me it's like i can't you know and then part of me is like i don't want to hate on it because i don't want to seem like a hater but then i'm like no but you're just not doing it right dude but you uh i agree with you 100 but you do embellish a little bit in your bits right oh listen i mean yeah but every joke that i i'm not even talking about that like of course every comedian is gonna be an exaggerated version yeah or something like that I, I'm not even talking about that. Like, of course, every comedian is going to be an exaggerated version or something like that. No, no, of course. Going to make things happen on a shorter timeline or going to like.

Sure, no, I'm not talking about that. Merge people into one person, stuff like that. No, no, I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about like, you know, people, you know, saying shit like some crazy event that happened that they were, you know. Right. And it's just a lie or like you know they they're you clearly know like imagine somebody was like yeah dude what was that is i was at a school shooting dude and like we all were yeah and i fucking dove on the teacher

you know and i took two in the back the teacher's alive everybody saved three little guys i was throwing students out the window to save you know and then it's a good bit and the shit's viral i couldn't there are some people that can live with that i i couldn't no no no you know what i mean like brutal yeah like that'd be brutal to like even know that like and then people gonna ask you about it yeah yeah you know yo chad did you fucking jumped in front of and you just gotta be like yeah i'm a hero a hero. Yeah, yeah. Somebody who's bad at making up stuff is like, dude,

I was one of the terrorists on 9-11 and I survived. I jumped right out. I was just gonna say, I jumped out last second. If you see me, that's not a jumper.

I parachuted down. I looked at my brothers that I've been with for months in Al-Qaeda and I was like, you know what, bro, this ain't it.

And I jumped off the plane. This ain't it. This ain't it, man. Yeah, no, it's, but it was like, you know what, bro, this ain't it. And I jumped off the plane. This ain't it. This ain't it, man. Yeah, no, it's, but it's like you said, man. I think, but the same things attract in this business too.

Yeah. Like you two are similar, like, you know, like you'll see somebody at a party and you kind of, once you've talked to everybody, you kind of notice

how you migrate to the people that you vibe with. Yeah. And then you'll end up having, and then you start to realize that there are similarities. Like, oh, that's why we're friends're friends right and those are the people you end up you know becoming boys with do you think like for like for like you and like people like bill

i think like like for like bill it's like has he always been that way or is it because he had such a tough road kind of kind of you know well it's funny because we always talk and like he always say to me he said to me recently he's like man he's like versi we have like such parallel like we you know both started out in like black rooms in new york urban rooms because that's where you get stage time and it was sink or swim and do that and just when you hear things about people's upbringing you're like oh man that that was kind of similar uh but yeah like i i think the reason why i mean bill's 10 and a half years older than me but we always kind of had very similar type of, like, when we talked, it was just a vibe. Right.

And yeah, and always, like, doing the right thing. Like, he's as good of a human being. He's a better, he's a great comic. He's one of the best comics, but he's a better human being. And that was always the case. There was never, and you could just tell, somebody that's going to do the right, like, you know, when you know somebody that's just never going to fuck you? Yeah.

This person's just never going to fuck you over, man person's just never going to fuck you over man they're never going to betray you they're just you just know yeah and it's like it's one of those things and then there are people you're like ah just let's hold it a little closer to the vest right yeah you know yeah i do i grew up kind of consequence free too so i kind of felt like nobody would ever fuck me and it's only recently that i've gotten more wary of the world is that because of like do you feel like that's because of uh like recent success or do you feel like you know because things like that will change like one thing that you'll know will change is that like when you start to do things that people admire then you'll start to feel something else unfortunately i feel like or you'll you know you'll just you'll be able to talk to somebody and know not even full resentment but you're like

oh there's something there yeah i'm not even sure what it is i don't know if it's just a product of getting older you know and yeah the world how old are you 35 okay you'll be 36 and 32 okay okay yeah maybe getting maybe getting older makes you like you a little more wise to how people are acting around you. Yeah, and it could be now that I have kids, I'm like, well, I need to be a little skeptical of the world to keep them safe, I guess. Well, for me, that did everything. I had an issue in my family, and when my kids were born, I addressed it with the other people because I saw them. I was like, that's not going to happen. Yeah, because it's like if it happens to you, whatever.

You'll bounce back. But you're like, i'm trying to protect something here yeah yeah that's the thing it's like family is you know i'm not trying to be that that guy but for me it's like families that like it's like this is this is what we do it's not who we are you know this is what we do you know but people you got to separate that and i think that also goes back to the narcissism like to the narcissist it's like everything to them they have to because it's like but that's empty you know where you're going back to a one bet you know like what are you doing you go back to a studio in new york you're running around doing spots and you're doing everything you can to get and there's nothing to go home to like that to me i would rather jump out of a fucking you know jump out of a building

into that yeah that's just me because it's like i got i got you know i got a house in the country i got a wife i got two beautiful kids like i like hanging with my kids and vibing with my family is like that's all i want to do but i'm out here kind of doing that you know this trip i'm out here in los angeles for for well la and san diego for 13 days yeah but you get to experience it for a while but you know you got something to go back to right and yeah and i'm doing this for them you know where you know i got shows coming up on a cell tickets yeah i'm gonna you know i want to vibe with great like you know people and and and network with good people and and so then the next time you come out right or like you know you guys come to new york you jump

on the versi effect or whatever like shit like that and and i said yeah like yeah please anytime man you guys got to come to the stand to get on stage and shit yeah we're gonna be out there for november november we're doing new york comedy festival oh yeah at the bell house oh okay i'm doing uh i just got added to a show there mike young is doing a show on uh november 8th at the oh cool the the ned or some shit i don't know nice one of those yeah one of those cool things yeah yeah no no it's it's fun but yeah i'm sorry you were cooking about like it's all about the family it's all about the family, man. How long have you been with your lady?

Were you single for a while? Did you try that? No, I moved to Queens and I was doing stand-up. I was knocking doors, phone, cable, internet, knocking doors. And she moved to Jersey City. And we knew each other from our high school. She went to the rival high school. Matter of fact, I dated in high school her best friend from junior high.

And then they went to, and I would always hear about this girl. But then I started dating the manager at an Applebee's when I was a busboy. And it happened to be her best friend from her high school. So she just kept popping up. And then I lived in the Queens. She lived in Jersey City. Tried dating her for a while. And then that's how.

So I've been like dating her seriously from probably like 24. Wow. Yeah. So I've been with her. We've been together like 20 years and we've been married for 15 and so it took a while to get her to it was funny yeah it took like five months and right when i was done with it i'm like dude what the you know i remember i went to that remember that this is a bad movie uh head of state yeah i went that weekend with my brother and i go you know what dude if she doesn't get back to me this week i'm just done and then that weekend with my brother and I go, you know what, dude, if she doesn't get back to me this week, I'm just done. And then that weekend, walking to the movie, she texted, miss you. And that's when I started to change.

That's when it turned. It's a funny question. Yeah, I was just like, trying to make out with her when we go out for drinks and shit. And she would just be like, ah, kiss, and then that would be it. And then, did you want to hear a good one? This is a great one. This is great. We're at dinner and we're on one of our dates and we're like starting i'm like i want this girl to be like you know and we're having like a nice dinner we're drinking and

we're having a good time and she just gets a phone call i swear to god she just goes at that dinner she goes hello what right oh my god goes outside i see her through the window she's just crying she comes back she goes my dad just had a heart attack and i was just like yeah dude i don't think you should be alone i'm like dude you need and then talk about not being a scumbag no no and uh but yeah he but he was fine he had like a minor heart attack but uh and then yeah but like I said, after five months of her kind of giving, was that all scuzz back here?

Was that also like, let me be a hero for her tonight. Let me be that solid rock. It was going so well and we're having such a good time and I wanted to keep it going and like he survived it. He has recently passed,

rest his soul, but that was like early on and yeah, but like I said, after like five months of trying and her kind of being like no you don't have to drive me home no you don't have then i realized she just wanted to be and then when i was done if i flipped it so wow you know yeah and she's like the only girl that i

ever like kind of because other like otherwise i'd be like all right never mind yeah yeah i have i have like a funny kind of parallel experience not with like my partner now but i had a crush on this girl when we were in high school we were sophomores and the uh the passion of the christ came out oh yeah i lived in manhattan then and we were just friends but we went and saw the movie and uh she's terrified you know there's all this violence and and jesus is just getting his ass kicked and she just starts crying and i just pulled the middle thing up no and i just put my arm around her and cuddled her and she like cried in my arms and dude i was so bricked up for the rest of the movie just holding this sobbing christian yeah and i'm just like

i'm helping and my boner was like tearing through my jeans dude i got it i got a good rager story uh i had a fuck i went into this asian masseuse dude and it wasn't one of those joints and dude i just and like they were like just get down to you or whatever dude i had the most i mean i had an embarrassing rager that just everybody saw and it was too late to I can't duck out and like I don't know what's happening and I just like rolled over I was a guy I'm sorry I flipped over I had a full I mean yeah rager yeah just like I'm sorry and she was just like just like massage my feet like looked away it was brutal but what are you gonna to do?

No, you know, I think apology is the whole nine. I love, I love the bricked up. It's so great. Yeah, dude,

I was hard as a rock. I was passionate Christ, but like trying to be a decent guy. And she'd be like, it's okay. He lives, he lives eternally in heaven. During the worst scene ever of like,

no, he's getting like lacerated and tied up and just all sorts of whooped and i was like i've never been so happy in my life i like doing your did you say like yeah dude you shouldn't be alone today yeah i did i was like you know what man maybe i should you know take you back or whatever and she was just like oh no i'm okay but yeah that one was like but then sometimes i wonder i'm like what if like should like i said to her i was like should you like should i have like went back like you didn't give it to me like i'm not talking sexually like you didn't like want a relationship for she's like that should make you want it you know that should make it even better but in my

mind i'm like i know i was a nice guy you know right you know i'm like what because that was really not the case before like if ever i would like put it put an effort in not that I was like the man but I did well sure you know well I think I think when you are doing well it's the one that takes a little more work that becomes the one you fix it yeah she'll love that yeah that's probably what it is and I think I think people are smart women and dudes were like I think a woman can be like oh this guy's feeling himself I'm not gonna be like the other girls and like make it too easy on him I'm gonna make him

hustle for it that's true and they know deep down we're so insecure so that the moment someone rejects us we're like I knew this was coming

this is the truth and then they've got his like putty in their hand guys I'm interrupting this podcast to let you know once again that the merch is still on sale

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Saving your closet, one shirt at the time. All right, let's get back to the show. That's the funniest thing about this business and life is that everybody, dude, everybody is insecure and fucking scared jay-z said it best man everybody is insecure and scared everybody's full of shit everybody wants to be loved everybody wants acceptance you know everybody wants to succeed and everything else is just a is just a front you know totally no i mean i don't even take it when because sometimes online people call me insecure.

I don't even take that as an insult. I'm like, of course I'm insecure. Like to me, that's a given for any human. I'm like, and to me, if you're not insecure, you're probably not putting yourself out there enough. Let me ask you something. How much hate mail are you getting? Like how many comments?

I've been talking more lately, but not that many. Honestly, it's just, it's that thing where you, the people who are nice, I blow by, and then the people who are rude I fixate it's just that that's what needs correcting oh that's great I had that feeling driving over because I was like what the what am I doing

like what are we doing it feels like I'm like I should just fucking you know I should go be on like an oil rig or something that's like something tangible you know what I mean? but here's the thing and that's funny that you said that

but here's the thing it's like I used to fantasize like about being a mailman shit just fantasize about just having like a mundane listen to tunes listen to tunes drive to mailboxes be done good game. Listen to tunes, drive to mailboxes, be done your route. You want to fucking blow your brains out. After two days. Right, right, right.

After two days of somebody yelling at you saying it wasn't on time, you didn't do it, and you're like halfway up the block knowing that your whole day for hours is just in that little truck, cars going around you. The grass isn't always greener. No, totally. You tell a joke joke we tell jokes for a living we do podcasts we make money doing it it's the greatest thing ever yeah i think it's

just the fact that it is what are we doing though like you ever think about like podcasts and stuff it's actually the craziest thing that we all just sit on and it's fun but like but see it's fun like this other times you're just going in like all right dude so who do we got today all right we're doing and and it's just like it's a little mundane right yeah and it's repetitive or if you feel like you're not being yourself and then you're like well what's the point of doing this if i'm going to pretend to be a version of myself that's not myself right that that weighs on me where i'm like what am i doing dude yeah like if i have a voice to choose it should be as close to me as possible but see that means like that that like made me learn about both of you more it's like the fact that you're walking and going what the

fuck am i doing dude it's just a normal it's just it's very normal it's just a normal honest feeling that i think anybody would have i think everyone has that with any job they do 100 you walk into anything whether you're a chef a teacher a mailman you wake up and you're like what am i doing is this it yeah like could you like could you're like, what am I doing? Is this it? Yeah, could you imagine, I was thinking about selling cars, but even selling great cars. That'd be fun.

Like, let's say you sold Ferraris or something, right? Yeah. But after a month of being like, lady, the engine, I mean, it's the best, this is what it is, this is what it has, this is the leather. The 50th time you said that, you're gonna be like, dude, if I sell another Ferrari Ferrari I can't do it anymore yeah that's the thing about

this is like it's both scary and then it's like the unknown is what makes it so much fun where you don't get the boredom yeah I heard a comic Talent

you guys know Talent was one of the Sam Talent? no no his name was his name was Talent his name was Talent but his name his real

name is james talent harris and he's one they call him one of the new york kings of comedy he ran like the urban rooms and just a monster i never heard of him just a monster dude and he said says like this is the one job the thing about this job is it's different every night yeah whether somebody drops a fork and you hear it whether you you do a new bit whether whatever it is it's just a new experience it's a new feeling it's new people it's new fans nothing else gives you that like i couldn't imagine like could you imagine being a porn star and like getting to that getting tired of fucking could you imagine being a porn star and and be like dude i gotta go to work too much i can't believe i got like a four person sister it's gonna be a nightmare yeah like could you imagine that like that's for me that's hell

right that would be yeah right you know like if you're in like an anal gang bang you're not digging it dude you're in an anal gang but you're not there like like you're there physically but in your head you're like just thinking about something else yeah oh man i think i'm gonna get pot roast after this yeah dude imagine yeah imagine going to work knowing that you're just gonna get ass fucked hardcore and you just like aren't into it yeah it's not the day for it i just watch netflix i mean you'll see like i'll watch porn and i'll study it pretty good and i'll be like that girl's being pretty mechanical like you know and and i think women more so than men need to be feeling it to be into it like dudes we can you know once we get there we're like oh this is the best thing ever and then i think for women like i'll see them like screaming in the video

and i'm like oh man she punched in she punched up yeah well what's weird is i heard a porn star go yeah i'm just like boring at home right, they're all missionary people at home. And like, dude, if I'm the fucking boyfriend, dude, no. Yeah. No, dude. Yeah. No, dude. Because you got to outdo whatever happened that day.

Dude, you can't do me like that. Bro, of course. I just saw you get fucking, I just saw you get. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, dude, you can't do what I just saw you do and be like, I'm lazy tonight. I'm just kidding. It's like, nah.

Yeah, it's like you marry a chef and they only make PB&Js when they're home. I remember. Yeah, I remember. I remember this one porn star. She goes, she's like crying. She was crying. And I feel bad, dude. Yeah, it's a bummer.

I do feel bad. I'm being very. You're having fun. No, I'm trying to be very sensitive with what I'm going to say. But like, she was like, I was going to write a bit about this. She was like crying and she's going, you this job it's such a the stigma and she goes like i would come home and my boyfriend didn't even want to kiss me right away i'm like yeah you got the dna of five dudes on you i'm like fucking go jump in a sauna for fucking that is tough dude that's tough man right

like she was like crying i feel but it's tough for both of them i feel bad that she felt that but it's like you got it like she she like demonized him no there's no demon in that situation she was like you know i he wouldn't even kiss like she was almost looking can you believe that the guy that i loved and my boyfriend wouldn't kiss me but it's like you just did something that's like making him be like all right dude like a shower like something yeah that's the thing too it's like i could see like taylor swift fans being upset by that you know because they're not because taylor swift did that but because they're sensitive to like little things like microaggressions like that yeah that annoys me no i'm with you because like the guy's not

cheating on her he's not berating her about what she does. He's probably having dinner with her. He's like, hey, I don't want to give you a smooch. But I'm a sensitive person, so I can understand where she's coming from. But that really hurts me because it feels like you're judging me. He's like, well, clearly I'm not judging you. I'm with you. I just don't want to kiss your face when there's jizz residue. But at what point, I kind of am judging you. You just got slaughtered by, like, i just so you almost died but you almost like

you you that what just happened to you was wild but you can't but you can't no i know i can't date her and right i can't say it but like that's having it both ways i think is the thing i'm judging the kiss right when you get home like that's it that's okay i think that's okay just give me that like but and i'd be honest like it would be very very hard for me to yeah like it would be like i don't some dudes can do it something but like the way that they're like so amazed by how hard it is to get like a date or how like when they say that and it's kind of like well that's kind of a you know we're moving towards a more puritanical viewpoint on sex for sure too i think religion's coming back that way i think i can tell it with this dylan danis logan paul situation oh yeah yeah people are like really going at her it isn't but i i but but i'm not trying to be holier than like i don't think i

could date a porn star maybe in my 20s i could have and i feel bad like i feel bad for any of them i feel bad even saying that out loud yeah no no but like i feel bad for even when they're like hey i just want to get a normal job afterwards, or I hate that that's out there about me. I really do feel bad, and I think that the stigma shouldn't be. Because we do beat off to them. And not only that, it's safe. Apparently, in their community, it's a safe thing, because it's just 15, 20-something people having sex with the same people a lot. Sure.

So I don't want to sound judgmental that way. I'm just saying with the other thing, if I did do that and I knew my, you know, it would be funny if she's like, we going out tonight? You're just like, yeah, how was work? It's work to, you know, girl on girl. So who was there at the scene today? And she gets to like the ninth guy's name. And you're like, you just like want to know if your friends were there? Yeah, you're like, oh, was it fun on set?

Who was there today? And she's like, Mark and Rick and Tony and Bill and Kong. And you're like, okay. Kong, dude? Oh, how's Kong doing? She's like, he's good. Very vigorous today. You're like, oh, good.

Yeah, I'm glad he's healthy. I'm glad he's healthy. Yeah. No, when I said that annoys me. I said something about like, because I like some tell some of the tail swift songs right sure so i said but then i said something on twitter where i go she's got a cool in front of the mom they tell you know she's like saying let's fucking go in front of travis kills and i was like you know she should kind of people are like paul don't go away these swifties are gonna come i'm like all right come on man i said i like her music i'm trying to

take my daughter to her concert but she's got like music. Dude, she's got like a cult on her side. It's powerful. Dude, she's a powerful. Dude, this tour. She's in charge. $3 billion tour. Is it $3 billion? I heard by the time it's all done, she's going next year.

I'm going to try taking my daughter to one of them next year. I want to go. But I heard when it's all. And I heard she will throw down two and a half hours of hit after. I heard it's awesome. And it's meticulous. Each show is different. She gets the top lighting people.

She spares no expense. No, and I heard it's billions. It's her and fantasy football. They're keeping the country running. That's why it's good her and Kelsey are together. Dude, his thing went up. 400% on the jersey sales, right? Dude, 400% on the jersey sales, and? Dude, 400% on the jersey sales,

and he got like 3 million more followers in like a week. Did he really? He got 3 million followers. And the condiments, she was eating like ketchup with her chicken tenders and ranch. Condiments went up. Oh my, dude, that's fucking. If you're getting condiments, that's MJ level, I think.

Dude, yeah, if you're getting ketchup for stock to go up to. Heinz is like, dude, we got tea swims? There's a backlash coming, though. People in the NFL Instagram accounts are pissed. They're like, enough. Leave me alone. I was really into it at first, but even a little bit of me is being like, all right, all right. I'm starting to get cynical about it.

I'm like, I don't know if I believe that they're really banging. Yeah. I don't think they have. Do you? No. They did do the walk of shame, though. What's that? He left her apartment early morning.

Oh, he did? Sunday morning, yeah. Oh, they did. All right. They've turned us into just... I don't know if this will... I can't picture her banging, though. I think that's fair.

Yeah, totally. It's tough for me. I kind of get that. You know what I mean? Yeah, I can't picture her just all out. But unless it's just so nuts. Right. Oh, wow.

Like, unless you can't picture it because she wants, but it's so nuts. Yeah, that actually checks out. Yeah. Right? Yeah. It's either nah, or like... Or just straight animal just like or whoa whoa and he's been with a lot of women i'm presuming so to knock his socks off yeah you gotta surprise

him but i think you know she's an artist wow yeah i don't know dude yeah that's wild that's great i was gonna say this about did when you were dating did you ever sleep with someone who was like super promiscuous um i was a relationship guy a lot okay so like i don't know if there was ever like an incident in my you know drinking crazy college days but like you know i'm sure one or two slipped through the cracks you know i'm sure one or two slip through the cracks you know I'm sure one or two slip through but I know nobody that I could be like dude you know versi got the whore like you know like I never I I don't think so

I was gonna say though in my experience cuz I have those girls are like the nicest like they're kind of the most vulnerable like they in in terms of like they want to connect really bad. Like they live their life a certain way and they might catch flack for it if people hear about it. But like when you really get to know them, they're very pure of heart. Like you can trust them. Yeah. Yes.

Yeah. They're very much so. But like you ever think like I said this on stage once and like some people are horrified and and some people, and the people at comics, and the cellar. Have you done the cellar? No, never. The cellar's got the piano guy. So there's a piano guy who's just sitting there. So when a comic comes up, there's music playing, and the piano guy actually sits to the side,

and he's on there. And he was loving it, but I was literally like, if somebody goes all out after the dick, like all out, that's not a out, that's a red flag if they go hard at it. Right. I've had that before. Right? Afterwards, you're kind of like, whoa. Yeah.

If you go, not to be disrespectful, not judging at all, because it's kind of awesome, but if you just go right for the dick hard core, it's like, whoa, dude. You're going to meet my mother now. No, dude. It is crazy because it can scare you. But then the more you get to know that person, you're like... Because there was one girl who went hard at it and then I was like, nah, man, you're crazy.

What are you doing doing some of that stuff? You don't even know me. I could have been anybody. And probably she's done that with, I'm presuming, a lot of people. But then we hung out a couple more times, and I was like, dude, you're super normal. She just had this one thing about her that she was about it. I would always get scared. I'd get scared.

Back out, i'm like this is i don't even know if i want to get into this there's like magic involved yeah and then afterwards i would regret it i'm like man i had like it scares you off a little bit yeah it's like i had gold and i dude i i this is this is hilarious dude this guy goes like this to me he goes hey dude yeah my girl he's like she just wants to keep sucking my dick dude and he goes she just wants to but she also told me she loves sucking dick and that every guy she meets she envisions her sucking dick so he's like dude he's like when she meets you like she's gonna envision sucking your dick and he's like but just and and dude it was the weirdest way to get introduced it was the weird

process it was the weirdest way he's like no she'll probably like when she meets you she'll be very nice she's gonna probably picture something picture something. And I'm like, yeah, dude, I didn't need to, like, wow. So now I'm like, hey, how you doing? Yeah. You're trying not to put too much on it. Like, that was the weirdest thing. I don't know if it was, like, an insecurity for him to say it. Trying to get out in front of it?

Yeah, like. Yeah, he's just like. He's like hey dude she like she like loves sucking dick she like everybody she meets like he's like i just know she he totally made that up his girlfriend's like hey yeah it was the weirdest way to meet somebody and i was just like and you're going wow she's thinking about sucking my like you know and like yeah your friend shouldn't say that no i was a buddy yeah wow how serious were they what how serious were they they uh they're married they're married now with kids unbelievable yeah dude that dude's a soldier man like he's tough that guy's tough that should be a

scene in a movie like right like just like hey dude just want you know like she loves sucking dick she loves but everybody she meets you picture she meets, she pictures sucking a dick. She's probably going to meet you and picture sucking your dick. That was how I, like, went into the, you know how wild that is? Were you, like, a groomsman or anything? You don't have to say that. No, I wasn't a groomsman. Oh, okay. I wasn't a groomsman, nothing.

But I just was, I just was, wait, I was at the wedding. Was I in it? I don't know if I was, I was at the wedding. And, like, and it was fine, but I think it was just him going, she's super cool, she's was just him going she's super cool she's into it right and like oh so he was bragging a little bit yeah like yeah but like he didn't need to say no he probably didn't tell you that you need to say anything he's like yeah she just loves sucking dick she told me anytime do you think he was getting off on it i you know i don't know but he's like she you know she would tell me anytime if she went if i wanted her to suck like it was wild and then uh at the wedding did you give a

speech and i know you're just really good at sucking dick there's nothing but good things about you linda yeah yeah you seem like a cool chick you envision sucking his dad's dick yeah she's so cool yeah's she's she's sucking all your dicks even your father his dick his grandfather yeah

yeah he's a grandpa Rick he can get blown yeah oh wow yeah that's funny

yeah that's great do you want to answer some questions yeah dude sweet I'm down man I'm having fun dude

yeah it's been really cool yeah yeah it's been great I hope you guys are I'm literally yeah I'm having fun, dude. Yeah, it's been really cool. Yeah, yeah. It's been great. I hope you guys are. I'm literally- Yeah, I'm having a blast. Yeah, yeah. This is fun.

This is great. All right, let's see. When you were saying the ways, it felt like a scene out of Goodfellas or something. What? You know she loves sucking dick. Dude, that's the scene in a comedy. Yeah. Hey, man, I just got to tell you something, dude, about Carla, okay?

Yeah. She's great, okay? You know, she loves, she sucks my dick. She loves sucking dick. She sucks my dick. She sucks my dick. She loves sucking dick, but she told me she loves sucking everybody's, she wouldn't suck anybody's dick.

So just know when you meet her, she's probably going to picture sucking your dick. Yeah, yeah. And I'm just like, all right, man. It's like, yeah, dude, it's all good. Well, then every preceding conversation, it's going to be circling in your head. I'm just like all right man conversation that's gonna be circling in your head you know like Tony surprise like you need she sucks dick you should know this about her yeah that's that's the thing hey you should know this about her it's like no i shouldn't i absolutely shouldn't know

opposite it's your girl dude i should not know it i wish you didn't know it yeah yeah i wish he didn't know it it's too I wish he didn't know it. It's too much information for him. She should have just sucked his dick and just left it at that. Right, but she probably, girls like connecting on stuff. She's like, this is important. I've never been able to share this with anyone. Yeah, like, it's weird to tell somebody that you're dating that, like, I just love sucking.

Like, it's weird to, you know, you never know if, like, it was, like, she was insecure about it. Like, sometimes people say things... You never know if she was insecure. Sometimes people say things. You never know. It's beautiful to some people to share all their thoughts, even the ones that might be uncomfortable. That's the ideal. But it could ever be opposite. Yeah.

Right? Oh, yeah. This guy loves eating pussy. He's going to think about you eating a pussy. You're like, what? Yeah. Anytime you want, he'll eat eating pussy. He's going to think about eating it. He's going to think about you eating a pussy. Just like, what? You know? Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Anytime you want, he'll eat my pussy. He'll eat your pussy. He'll eat everyone's pussy. You know what? They don't have to because they know that's true for every guy a lot. The look on the person's face when they hear just the words, there's something you need to know. And you're thinking, that's to know yeah and you're thinking they go back it's a lineage the mother loved sucking everybody was a big dick they all look at sucking it's like narration in the movie they're introducing characters not this one she just loves sucking dick morgan freeman yeah. And this girl was a dick sucker. Yeah, she'll suck anyone's dick, dude.

She'll suck your dick. Everyone in the audience tonight, she's going to suck your dick. Oh, that's fucking hilarious, dude. That's the calamari. Yeah, you know she's thinking about doing it. You're like, dude, is it food? How's the calamari? Calamari dick?

Oh, you're getting the swordfish. Yes. All right. you like to use the food yeah oh you're getting the swordfish yes alright seven years ago during my freshman year of college I met the most amazing girl on the face of the earth for a while

I considered her my best friend but I quickly realized I was really in love with her she's the last person I've been my true authentic self around but due to some

unfortunate circumstances we ended up drifting apart after our freshman year now seven years later I can honestly say that i'm still in love with her i haven't seen her since then and we now live in different parts of the country so naturally i don't think about her every day however whenever i do think about her my heart skips a beat and my mind goes straight to thinking about how mad i am at myself for not maintaining any sort of relationship with her i know that if i reached out we could definitely rekindle our friendship but i don't

know if i could live with just that knowing how i really feel about her she's genuinely the smartest sweetest most down-to-earth beautiful girl i've ever met and i don't see myself ever falling out of love with her any input would be greatly appreciated and thank you for always raising my stoke when i need it most that's a great great thought out question um so i take it that seven years after their freshman year. Yeah. So that means they're three years removed from college. Okay.

And she's single? He doesn't know. I think he might be able to check on social media, but it sounds like they don't stay in touch. Well, the first thing I think I would do if I was him was the first move is to find out if there's any kind of relationship or family. Which if they're three years out of college, my guess is there's no family. You might be alright, but the clock's ticking. But she could be dating somebody.

Dude sounds like he really likes her and the fact that he said all those things, heart skipping a beat, the fact that he doesn't think he'll ever be in love with anybody else like that, I think you just go for it. I'm one of those, dude. You just got to go for it.

You just got to tell her. He literally, the things he said in that, if he can put that to a thing with her and just tell her, because once she knows that, then it's kind of the ball's in her court, and she'll realize that there's a guy out there that actually feels like that for her. I love that. I agree.

He's got to go for it. He's just got to go for it just got to go for i mean unless he's but here's the thing if he's normal like if he's not like been like there's no reason why they broke up they never were together they were just friends oh i thought in freshman they just kind of met and hung out yeah oh okay yeah i don't think they have any romantic history what's his name and they drifted apart after their freshman year uh i think he wants to be anonymous my thing is this it's like you might i i believe you're really in love with this person but it's been seven years they might be a different person than they were seven years ago and like yeah maybe he's just in love with her i guess there's a cynical part of me that's like,

there feels like there should have been more life in between that he mentioned. Right, right. But there's something weird about how he's like, she's the most beautiful down to earth. So if she's the most beautiful down to earth, does that mean he's going by when they met in ninth grade? I mean, in freshman year? That's what I mean.

Or is he like, no no I've kind of in college did they cross paths at a party no they haven't seen each other since since freshman year they haven't seen each other since I think one of two things could happen I think he should go for it and then either they rekindle something or

he actually talks to her and it breaks the spell that's what I'm thinking could happen. But I agree with you. You got to find out. But I guess there's a, not like a, like a little bit of a pessimism where I'm like, well, you don't know what. What she's like now.

Yeah. And you don't know who you are really in relation to her now. Yeah. Yeah. And like, I don't know, like, do they live in it? Because it's something where he just writes and is like, hey, man, can I, I'd love to just, you know, what do you, I was thinking about you. Do you want to go grab something to drink or something, you know?

Yeah. Like if she's in like, you know, Florida and he's in. They live in different parts of the country. Yeah. That's wild. I guess part of my advice is like, dude, maybe try dating someone else. Because it sounds like he hasn't, but I also don't have context. So he might have.

It's very romantic. Yeah. This is either a dude that has been like, doesn't have a lot of experience and has kind of been fixated on her. Yeah. Or a dude that was like, after that, he dated some people and was like, man, I should have went after that girl. If it's the second one, then absolutely go for it.

Right. If it's the second one, then you got to go for it. If it's the first one then absolutely go for it right if it's the second one then you got to go for it if it's the first one it could it could be a little you could be stuck in time a bit and maybe you need to try meeting some other people as well yeah seven years is a little bit of a time it's time for like to not have any kind of from 18 to 25 yeah that's kind of like because like adulthood like i was a different person from 22 to 24. Like once I got to 24, my mom is like, I remember my mom going,

oh, you're like a... I just was like buckled down, like really kind of get my shit together. So he was like 18. So that's a little... Yeah. Yeah, I think... Because he could get...

Like if he's not that experienced and he's like just fixated on her and he's messaging her he could just get like sucked into like living and dying by her messages and like not really yeah getting out into the world you know what i mean yeah yeah i i hope it's the other one but i don't know it seems kind of wild are you ready for another question that's almost exactly the same yeah Yeah. I like them. Chad and JT and perhaps an esteemed guest. What up?

Big fan of the pod. One love. I'm in a bit of a pickle. How do you feel about reconnecting with a girlfriend of the past? I have an ex that I haven't talked to for about five years. I broke up with her in college and it was a bit messy because she didn't handle it well. I've had a few long-term relationships since, but my heart keeps going back to this girl as my first love lost on a young heart. She back to encinitas probably the greatest city in the

country uh in san diego yeah san diego not too long ago and i'm not sure the best way to reconnect with her if i should reach out at all i did some stalking recently and she's become a great version of herself and i would hate to change that trajectory for selfish gain should i reach out to her or should i leave her to pursue happiness without me any advice would be greatly appreciated big thanks wow sounds like a bunch of people are out there like kind of going to the past regrets yeah it's it's in the air right now grass isn't always greener man no grass isn't always greener like especially if somebody was cool but dude i went back and dated someone after we had like five years off and we we had a strong connection but we quickly returned to the problems that led to our initial breakup we didn't stand the test of time the second time

now when you say problems like you mean like social stuff political stuff like just the same ality same fights we had we both thought we had changed totally and then there was something about when we were together that we reverted back to our original selves that we were okay wow so yeah and i in my head i was like my dad my dad was like very romantic about it like i was like dad do you think like what do you think about it my dad's like i think you fucked up really you let a good one get away really and then like a year later i was like dad what should i do he's like you gotta break up with her and i'm dude i'm honestly i will say this to both these guys i'm glad i found out and i have a lot of love for that person but we were not a good sometimes when

you break up it's for a reason you know but then also couples get back together and make it work there's no one way i guess yeah you hear stories of people getting divorced to the same part like and then married again to the same person i love that and you're going i love the tenacity really yeah that's just like i'm all in dude yeah i'm all in i don't know man i would say both of those guys a lot of time went by but i for me man it's like nobody's getting any younger you know it things go by fast look seven years probably felt like that to that guy five years probably i would just tell the girl i would i would you get to a point where you're just like look you know i'm out here and i'm dating and like if you say to a woman i'm out here dating

and nobody was as cool as you i'm out here dating and nobody made me feel like you and i'm realizing that i we should have done it more and i'd love to go out more if you're if you're not with anybody and you're willing to go and have a drink and talk then i'm down if not i totally get it but i just wanted to throw it out there because that's how cool i thought you were and then and then once the ball is in her court like that then you win then here's the thing then you win because then you're like fuck you bitch you didn't no i'm not nobody get that you were honest you were an honest broker you told someone exactly how you how you felt, and you weren't being a trick. You weren't playing a game. You were just like, this is it.

Because when you put it like that, and you really said like, think about what you just said to a woman, man. You just said to a woman like, dude, I said you're the coolest and this and that, and I thought we had something, and I just don't want to ruin something if something else could be kind of, if we could gain something that we missed the first time. Let's go grab a drink or let's just grab a drink and talk. Or how about this? How about you even go slower?

Hey, I'm dating all these people and no one's as cool as you. You want to just go grab a drink and talk? Just kind of keep it like that. And then on that date, after a couple, you kind of go a little, then you start throwing fastballs. You're romantic. Yeah. That's awesome. Yeah, that's what I would do, you know?

You start, you get her with some junk at first, right? A couple breaking balls. Some off-speed shit. A couple balls that drop down to the ground, you know? Then you get her. You guys are, yeah, yeah, you know? You just come out. You start doing this to the boy.

You look, you know? Just a couple, you want a couple strikes. But then you both have a couple glasses of wine, then you just start fucking ripping 99 to 100. Yeah. Right down Broadway. She's like, what the hell, dude? Where's the smoke coming from?

She's just like, this guy's got junk, and now he's going for the kill. And you're like, right after each strike, you're just calling for the ball back. You're like, give it back to me. I'm ready to fire off again. I'm striking out the side. Yeah, just keep it coming.

I don't even need time. I'm just dial fire off again. Next, I'm checking out the site. Yeah, just keep it coming. I don't even need time. I'm just dialed. But one thing I do know about Wim, my little brother's an animal. Well, he's married now and has a, my little brother's son is going to be born within a week. Oh, congrats. He's out in Sandpoint, Idaho.

Right? He just, during pandemic, he just, he went rogue, dude. Where was he before? He was in New York. And he was just like, I got nothing going on here. He just went rogue. He was like, you know, he got fed up with masks. And he was like, dude, I'm going to Idaho, dude. I'm going to work at a winery.

He just threw his hands up. He's like, I can't do it anymore. But he would be the type, dude, we would be out, and he'd be like, hold up a second. And I saw that. I swear to God, it was one of the most incredible things I ever saw. He just saw this chick get up and start walking out the restaurant. And he just goes up to her and goes, excuse me, excuse me, I'm sorry.

And we'd watch him run up. Dude, this kid would be like, hey, there is no way in hell I could see somebody like you and let you walk out without saying that we have to go on a date. You are absolutely beautiful beautiful and i would love to take you out and i don't and dude this one girl like had a boyfriend and she was so taken back she's like yeah i'll do it like dude he was he was an animal dude yeah he was he would just go up and be like now hold on a second i can't let this happen it was it was almost like and like he would just tell him but the thing is that girl's gonna go home that woman's gonna go home whatever and she's gonna go like that woman's gonna go home whatever and

she's gonna go like oh my god like this dude was straight up with me and said some really romantic cool shit i kind of have to i kind of have to see right made an impact they're gonna remember how they felt in that moment that's gonna stick with them if you're married you're in a serious relationship obviously you could be like hey i really appreciate that i love the honesty but but no but if if she's not or if she's just dating somebody and a guy comes out like you know he's a good looking kid you know and it's just like wow he's got the balls for that yeah you know that's i love shit like that yeah it's awesome what do you have to lose you know because now they're thinking like i don't

know if i'm gonna come up with a straight up get another straight up dude like that when there's a charge so you're like oh my god this guy lives his life romantically like he just goes for it that's you want to be a part of that you want to be close to that yeah no he he was uh now granted he was like a few brews in you know he would know he was coked up and he was the way he said it fired me up i was like i was like yeah i was like yeah i'm in i also think you can like like even as the boyfriend, I'm like, go for it, honey. Babe, you can't let this. I've been losing steam for a while. This guy's going to set your life on fire.

I've been losing steam, yeah. No, I think that a woman, like when she hears things like that, not only will she think about, she's going to be like, she's probably, what are the chances or percentages that she's heard that before and i almost think if we put in our heads i know this sounds nuts but i believe in like it's gonna sound crazy but like i believe in like you can manifest things i really believe in that so like if you actually tell yourself like dude she's i'm good without her now because i laid it on the table. And you come to peace with you doing that, I feel like something,

almost like with my wife. When I really came to peace that weekend and I was like, if I don't hear from her for this weekend, I'm done. And my older brother was great. He goes, Paul, he goes, dude, he goes, it's you. He goes, it's her loss.

And I was like, yeah. And all of a sudden, I actually put that on myself like yeah i'm gonna find another girl go out have a good time and then all of a sudden i get a thing and she says like i miss you because i think during i think she i don't know if some weird way she felt that but i was like done when you got the i miss you text yeah did you jump in the air and do a fist pump no i smiled and i told I told my brother, I go, hey dude, guess what? It was almost like, there it is.

It was like it came in. The universe gave this back to you. Yeah, it came in to dock. The boat came in to dock a little late, but it came in tonight. If it didn't come in tonight, it wasn't coming. But then I heard the horn and I saw the lights coming and And I'm like, you know, it came home. And I felt like that. But I almost in my head, in a weird way, I freed myself that night. I freed myself that weekend.

And then once I was free, that happened. And I think there's something to that. So I think if these guys, the seven-year guy, the five-year guy, just go, hey, man, I miss you. I want to hang. Like the worst that happens is she's like, you know. But I'm also a nut who believes it was meant. I believe. What are the chances? Think about my wife.

What are the chances of this? Her and her best friend in junior high school go to different high schools. I go to the one with her best friend, and that's the girl I dated through my high school years. All of them. Like, high school. And heard about this one. Then, that's done. I'm a busboy at Applebee's, and I start dating the manager at Applebee's,

and she is the best friend in the high school of that girl. So she was the best friend of two women that I was associated with in my life. How wild is that? It's crazy. Right? And she just came, and then I moved to Queens. She moved to Jersey City, which is right there, a 12-minute path train. She just kept coming in my life how wild is that it's crazy right and she just came and then i moved to queen she moves to jersey city which is right there a 12 minute path train she just kept coming at my life so for me you know and this whole thing goes full circle i believe in some there's something and when i see my wife with my children and i see all that shit i'm like there's no way

my wife is strong organized like i'm different we're so different that that's why it works i'm like yeah let's you want to yeah, let's, you want to, I'm literally like, you want to fly to the Bahamas tomorrow? And she's like, what, tomorrow? She's playing this shit for, you know, that's me. You're spontaneous. Yeah, no, I'm spontaneous. I'm like, I pay, I don't care about money.

Oh, dude, the more you guys know, I'm sure Aaron's heard stories from Bartnick and Burr and stuff. I pay, I pay. I don't give a fuck. you guys know like i'm sure aaron's heard stories from like bartnick and burr and stuff i'm i pay i pay i don't give a fuck best bottle first class i don't give a fuck if i can afford it i don't give a fuck if i can afford it yeah first class i'm getting a bed you have an abundant mindset i'm not i'm not i'm not flying unless i'm getting a bed i'm six hours i'm not doing and if my wife was like you can't really afford it i'd be like we'll make it work i'm just not gonna it's just what do you stress out then after the fact no i'm not it's it's there's certain things i don't compromise i don't compromise flights i don't compromise lodging okay i don't

i like amenities you want a vacation right yeah i like amenities and my wife is more like well we don't need to spend do we need to she's not cheap but she's just not me so she's trying to equal it out but it's like nah we're gonna it's a great way to live right yeah it's a bun you're abundant yeah it's like well are we nuts what are we cheap right right listen something if you don't have money and you literally can't afford something, then I understand you try to, but you still try to get the best that you can get. Where my wife is like,

my wife is funny because she's not cheap, but she loves a deal. My wife loves a deal. Yeah, like after Valentine's Day, the candy, the chocolate goes to 75% off, she goes wild. She goes fucking wild. Oh yeah, it goes wild.

I mean, I got bags of shit that are months old. And she goes wild. She's like, it's 75% off. All the candy, all the chocolate. She loves ornaments and shit when they go on sale. She goes wild. And I'm like, let's just get it the week before and spend the extra.

But I think that that's what makes us work. Because my habits drive her wild and and hers make me just go we don't need to and we've gotten into yeah you're the gas and she's the break yes that's probably perfect i'm the what are we what are we worried about yeah let's just go let's go go. And I think having trauma young, I think, you know, having horrible things happen. I've had some really,

like some really like awful things, man. People, people die, people horrible. And when I, you know, I said this the other day and I don't, I don't mean to get too heavy. If you don't go, I really appreciate it.

Oh yeah. Yeah. I mean, if it's cool, I don't want to fuck it. But, and I'm sure you guys heard about this, but, and I've, I've said this on multiple podcasts but i just want to say it to let people know how great he was um david kimowitz of the stand he was he was brutally taken away um he was uh one of the owners of the stand and uh you know two beautiful young girls

and uh wife and everything and yeah, there was a violent act with the nanny's boyfriend and his life was taken, you know. And like, it was so, it was one of the losses that I felt that really made me sick. Like literally, like I was just, I couldn't, it was really tough.

And I just looked at life and I'm going, and I mean, you want to talk like, if I come across as happy and positive, this dude, you know, this dude makes me look like, not that like this dude was smile, happy, managed comedians own a comedy club, two beautiful little girls, a wife, like the, like just the best always, always like wanted to go to his vacation house and like, just love life and love comedy, loved edgy comedy, loved it all. And for it to go like that. And I was just like, you know, a loved edgy comedy, loved it all. And for it to go like that,

and I was just like, you know what, man? I can't live, you can't live any other way. You can't hesitate and you can't, you just gotta be happy to the fullest when you see things like that. And that was the one that really fucked me up, man. And we all were telling eulogies at the stand and comics were randomly just walking up. Nobody was assigned anything. It was just this big thing and comics would just go and comics were randomly just walking up. Nobody was assigned anything.

It was just this big thing, and comics would just go up. And I just went up, and I was just like, dude, this one really just fucked me up, and I just said those things. And so I think that that happening, along with stuff when I was younger, made me go, what matters? What matters, man? It's like we were talking before we got in here about you know anything that you go through with your family it's like all that matters is your family all that matters is the important shit and that that's what i look at so well yeah and then there's the here and now and then you can try and plan for other stuff but you don't know what's coming

around the corner at any time so no get it while it's good yeah yeah and that goes along with the the advice to those guys like well you know just go just go for it yeah it's good. Yeah, yeah. And it goes along with the advice to those guys. Like, you know, give it a shot. Just go for it. Yeah, it's like, you know, and then if it doesn't work out, it doesn't work out. But at least it's like nothing. I couldn't imagine anything worse than not doing something you really want to do because of fear and then later realizing that the fear was manifested in your head and it was anxiety that didn't, you know. Because I was talking to a

buddy about this feet uh anxiety is is the it's not real so all the anxiety that you get and angst and i have anxiety i don't know if you guys do yeah i have anxiety i have like ocd depression and all that shit and um anxiety is just it's man if it's not real but if you it's real to you because you're manifesting something in your mind you're making this thing but it's not real. But it's real to you because you're manifesting something. In your mind, you're making this thing, but it's not real. Right. You know what I mean?

You're going, oh, this is not, what if this happens? And all of a sudden, this like rush of fear hits you, but it's like a barrier that you created. Yeah.

You know? And it's tough. And I think it's so beneficial to think about the fact that we do die. You know what I mean? Yeah. Because it's,

it's like what you're saying when you sort of live for the future where you're like, oh, someday I'll be able to, you know, stay at the Four Seasons or something like that. Right. It's like, well, why don't you choose to do it now? Yeah. Because we will die.

You don't take anything with you. You know, it's like, what are you saving up for? Unless it's like retirement or whatever. But like... right but like but like i know what you're saying but like you know it's because i do that all the time i'll be like oh we should just have like chicken nuggets tonight because you know uh i mean nuggets are awesome nuggets are awesome yeah but i'm just like we you know as opposed to like going you know what i mean and and i need to catch myself on those things sometimes because i'm it's like remembering that you die is it just puts you in the present it's it's like look like what you do what you two like what you guys did like the shit you guys accomplished you ever sit back and realize how fucking dope that is and how hard it is and

how unbelievable of a success story that is it's like you ever think about that it's like you guys you guys sit there and you put together a series and you do something and it gets sold to the biggest streaming, and you guys did that. You made that shit happen. So it's like, if you can do that,

you fuck nuggets, dude. Right. Right? No, that's a good point. Yeah, because I feel like in this business, it's so... You can have some... Take that victory, man.

Take that W, because we get so many Ls. We get so many Ls that when you can have that victory man take that w because we get so many l's yeah get so many l's that when you get the dove man you gotta you know run the bases yeah the right way because i think when we came out when it came out it's like you have an idea of what it'll be like in your head and the idea is never the way it actually happens so you're sort of this i don't know yeah this this you have this thing where it's it comes out and you're sort of this, I don't know. Yeah, this thing where it comes out and you're sort of like, oh fuck, it's not happening the way

I thought it would happen. And you ruin the experience because of your mind creating an idea of how you think life or the world should be and you can't control that. You just need to enjoy the ride. If you listen to our three podcasts we did immediately after the show came out you would have thought everyone we loved had just died yeah no but but that's like it's amazing that we do that to ourselves yeah because it's it's

amazing how you get something and and it happens and it's great and then there's like a yeah but it's unfortunately i think it's an like an thing, and it's like a creative person thing. And I also think it's like this weird like self-worth thing where you feel like something has to be wrong, right? Like can you just enjoy it? And I go through it too. Like I said to my wife the other day, I was just like, yeah, like I got to do this, and I just started to feel like a burden and anxiety,

and my wife just goes, Paul, she's like, you're putting barriers in front of yourself that just don't exist. You know, like, you know, the other night I was just like going through something. I'm traveling away from my family for 13 days. And I had to do a spot. I did a spot in the main room at the improv. And I'm just like going through stuff in my mind.

And then all of a sudden I get called on stage. And I just have this monster set where I just crushed this room, like crushed it. And I'm like, oh, that's what I'm doing, giving people joy and I feel good. But then in your mind afterwards, you're like, oh, now the neck, oh, but then I got to run over here and do this. And then I got to drive, and I'm not going to see my family for six more days. And we always have this thing to find instead of just being like, just take the, you know, take the W. take the the w right

yeah you know like you guys you guys got why do you think that was that you guys got sad after after it came out because you you didn't like the something about it i think we expected if you don't mind me asking yeah we expected our lives to change drastically you like we expected like the i think we expected like the tiger king effect where it's like comes out and everyone's like holy fuck you know yeah yeah just because and i for for me this is something i do is like i place value in it to the point where i'm like well if this doesn't do well then the rest of my life is just fucked which I don't do that anymore but at that because I learned from that experience but like at that moment I was like

if this doesn't go well I might just die you know what I mean? no like that's what I was thinking if this doesn't go well I'm such a lunatic in my head I'm like that's smart

no I know I know what that is like when my when my Netflix special came out all the numbers were good yeah

but then when you when they compared it to people that had then they so the numbers were good they're like wow out of the gate man like you're doing really good

but then they you know you compare it to somebody who's got a podcast with a million people yeah and you're like okay so it's not as good as that and then all of a sudden you feel like shit but it's like i can't look at it like that because i knew i didn't have a million followers going in right but so then but that's what you harp on because then you're like oh well they saw that

but like for somebody with my following and for somebody and you know my favorite thing i've said this before and i'll say it again and it means the most to me Netflix said no to my special before they saw it they just go hey we love Paul but you know there's a lot of competition

and it's hard right now and it was kind of like this Hollywood no then they screened it Netflix screened it and after they screened it they go we gotta make something happen

let's try to figure this out that must have felt so fucking good they were like this belongs here let's try to figure it out and that was like that meant good they were like this belongs here so let's try to figure it out and that was like that meant so much

but then you go to the thing where you're like alright well who's okay like you know Whitney Cummings and then Santino and then Tim Dillon

and I'm like well I don't have that following I mean I've been doing stand up longer but I don't have that following so then that makes you but I'm like no why am I gonna

why would I do that to myself? Because I knew that the numbers for where I was at were great and they took it based on my standup. And that means more than anything. Yeah. You know what I mean? Because it would be shitty if it was,

what if it was a shitty special, but I had 19 million followers and they took it? Right. Because then what's next? Then there's the own self-doubt that comes from that. Then I would be like,

oh, dude, they don't want my material. They don't want my 20 years of work. They just want to be in business with me because I'll push some eyeballs on it. Yeah. Dude, it's crazy. And it's also, it's like, as you progress, the people you compare yourself to changes too. So we talked about this on last week's episode. Like, you just find a way to be sad no matter what.

Like, I'll always find a way. I'm just trying to like, I'm just trying to not do, I'm just trying to, a way to be sad no matter what like i'll always find a way i'm just trying to like i'm just trying to not do i'm just trying to the way to be sad like to not be sad i think is to it goes back to what we're saying be with the people that you love to be with man yeah that's it i i that and and i saw a cold play last weekend have you ever seen oh yeah i saw it on your story best show they're fucking good live good live, man. Have you seen them live? I saw them like 15 years ago live and they were fucking amazing. Did they crush? Amazing.

Chris Martin brings it home. And you know what? I think 40-Year-Old Virgin did them a huge disservice with their joke. Yeah. Because ever since I saw 40-Year-Old Virgin, I'm like, it's not cool to like Coldplay. And my girlfriend loves Coldplay. So I'm like, well, she really wanted to go. So I'm like, let's go see Coldplay.

And I was going into it. I was like, yeah, it loves Coldplay so I'm like she really wanted to go so I'm like let's go see Coldplay and I was going to tell her yeah it's Coldplay and I was like what was so inspiring about the show is it's like all positive energy where you can tell he's just having a blast he wants to put on like the best show ever he's a fucking good performer

and I was so inspired by that where I was like yeah just enjoy the ride you know it's what's the point in And I was left so inspired by that where I was like, yeah, just enjoy the ride. What's the point in catastrophizing everything when it's just positivity? Dude, there's no losing. It's just, right? There's no losing. It's just learning.

So it's like, you know so it's like yeah you know if you're if you're if your series that came out was one of the worst series in in netflix history you'd still be like you'd be you have it under your belt and then you're going to do another one and you're just going to figure out a way to make another one oh totally you know what i mean no the bigger the failure the bigger the comeback no i don't i don't consider it a failure like that oh no no no yeah but like i i like that i i want to fail big i want to succeed big i want it all to be dramatic. When I read history books about Teddy Roosevelt or someone, it's not all wins. You know what I mean? He took some monster, monster L's.

But what made him him is he just, if he thought about it, he thought about it, but he just kept going. There is no, it's just no coincidence why every book and every like motivational special successful person all says you know don't quit you know i know some people don't like that because trump said it but it's true trump came out hard with it too it's like the one thing but like then you'll hear mike tyson say so you know it's you know it'll it'll truth is... Look, the fact that it comes from so many different mouthpieces probably speaks to its validity. It is the one thing we can all agree on.

Don't quit. The thing you said, too, about death. Isn't it crazy? Elon Musk, he said something, and it was kind of wild. He's like, yeah. He's like, no. He's like, I kind of embrace death. It's kind of going to be a relief.

When he said that shit, I was like, oh, he said that recently. They were like, are you afraid to die? He was like, no, no. He's like, I look at it as a relief. because when he was on rogan he said it's a burden to have so many thoughts he's like it weighs very heavy on me dude if you if you can yeah dude if you can figure out a way to get to mars dude think about what you're thinking about when you're alone in the shower yeah i'm reading his biography right now it's not how's the calamari yo elon when you walk in the room she's gonna think about sucking it's not how's the calamari yeah how's the calamari

yeah yo Elon when you walk in the room she's gonna think about sucking your dick he's gonna think about sucking your dick he wouldn't even know

what to do he's just looking he would be like trying to like figure out a math equation to figure out why yeah he's gonna get my dick

sucked in the arse oh shit that'd be a great question To ask Elon Elon are we gonna be able To like hook up up there And have sex Or it's like

What was the movie With Schwarzenegger Total Recall Yeah Yeah but it wasn't It in a dome It wasn't in a Was it a glass

I haven't seen the original What the Like what Mars Looked like up there No Aaron Do you remember that Aaron Yeah yeah it's in a dome It's in a dome right

Where they both Dude it's so funny. When you say, you know what pops in my head whenever you say Total Recall, right? What? No. Is the three boobs. Oh, yeah. Like you say, I can't think of anything else besides the three boobs.

What would you do if a chick just took her shirt off and had three, but I'm talking like three nice cans. Bro. Oh, that'd be awesome. See, I'd freak out. I'd be scared for a moment but then I'd I'd bomb in see I'd be freaked out dude I would be like

that's not I would freak me the fuck out would you want her to judge you if you dropped Trow and you had two cocks yeah I'd be like you're right that's fucking incredibly gross

and weird and I don't know why I have it that'd be kind of sick though if you could simultaneously crank it if you had two dicks and four balls that would be the most

the balls are tougher than the two dicks four balls is way too many balls what would you rather they're parallel or on top of each other sideways I want it

like 12 and 6 I know I want my cock coming off like my rib cage here and then I want my cock where my cock is dude if you just had four balls, though, dangling like that. Yeah, two balls right here.

It's like a pair of keys or something. I think I would like this. Stacked. Well, here's the thing. If they're side by side, that might make it harder. Like a re-rack with two cups. If they're side by side, it'd make it harder to fuck. That's what I'm saying.

I want enough space to fuck. Yeah. But if they're on top of each it'd make it harder to fuck, you know? That's what I'm saying. I want enough space to fuck. Yeah. But if they're on top of each other, you could get one. Although, they'd have to be spaced well. If you got one like where a tramp stamp goes on your back, and then you could drill this one on your back. Wow. You could be drilling another broad.

You could have that one. She's like, I really want to suck a guy's dick. His dick is on his back. You could be in the middle, like Like doing You could be all Eiffel No tower Wow That's amazing Or all tower

No Eiffel That's pretty sick Dude that's fucking great man It's funny dude Yeah So great When does this come out by the way? I think

We're doing a live one tomorrow And then next week I think next week Yeah It was one tomorrow and then next week. I think next week. Yeah. It was so fun talking to you, man. Oh, so great. Yeah, dude, such a pleasure, man.

Oh, dude, this is so fun. Great hanging. You guys come to New York, man. Hit me up. Dude, we will, man. Hit me up. November 7th. Yeah, dude. You'll be there November 7th.

Yeah, I'm doing something there November 7th. So you guys just in and out or you'll be there for a while? I think- A couple days? Definitely a few days. My girlfriend comes to New York, so we stay for a bit okay i'm going for a couple days yeah okay yeah no so we'll be up at the stand or like i'm sure i'll run into you someplace and if you guys want to come into the studio in midtown and do the versi effect yeah you guys would be the

first two guesters i've had like in one time because i only go one-on-one so oh no hell yeah but uh yeah i got some shows coming up if i could plug them oh please yeah dude uh yeah so i'll be you said next week right yes sir okay uh hartford funny bone in hartford connecticut october 13th i'll be at the uh philadelphia helium comedy club the 20th and 21st november 2nd, I will be at the Albany Funny Bone. And we just made a big announcement, which I'm super excited about. I'm going to be headlining the Gramercy Theater New Year's Eve

New York City 8 o'clock. That's going to be wild. Yeah, dude. It's the first time I'm ever doing, because usually on New Year's Eve, I stay home. Sure. Stay home, hang with the family, you know, watch some live performances, the ball drop, call it a night. This time, I will be Gramercy, 8 o'clock, New Year's Eve, New York City. Cannot wait for that.

Tickets are on sale. More dates are coming. You can check paulverzee.com. Check out my podcast. I do a bone-to-pick podcast with Bobby Kelly, which is crushing right now. Me and Burr are doing the Anything Better podcast here at the All Things Comedy Network along with the Verzee Effect. And check out my special on Netflix called Nocturnal Admissions.

It's streaming right now. Thank you for having me. Oh, thank you, man. It was really a pleasure. It was super awesome. Yeah, it was great. Thanks, guys. Thank you.

Yeah. If you need advice, these guys are really nice. You want to know what to do where to go When you need someone to guide you There's lots to have those beside you

Go free Go free Let's go free Go free Go free See What's the deal I'm going deep Trying to dig deep