Going Deep with Chad and JT - EP 316- Ralph Barbosa

Episode Date: November 8, 2023

Today we are joined by the young legend Ralph Barbosa. Ralph is a standup comedian who just released his first Netflix special. After a few years of success from social media clip, Ralph is now selling out across the country.We had a blast talking to him and hope you stokers enjoy! Ralphs New Special here: https://www.netflix.com/title/81681458 Grab some NEW dank merch here:https://shop.chadandjt.com/ Come see us on Tour! TIX HERE:http://www.chadandjt.com Call us, leave a 60 sec voicemail with your issue or question: 323-418-2019or write in to chadgoesdeeppodccast(at)gmail.com(Start with where you're from and name for best possible advice) Check out the reddit for some dank convo: https://www.reddit.com/r/ChadGoesDeep/ Episode Sponsored by :Marine LayerGet 15% off all clothing orders when using code GOINGDEEP15 at Marinelayer.com

Guys, welcome to the podcast. We're so stoked to have you on board with this dank new episode with Ralph Barbosa, hilarious comic, he has a new special out, Cowabunga on Netflix, make sure you guys check it out and I think you'll enjoy this conversation, very stoked on it. We're also on tour. Tonight we are in New York City, in Brooklyn, at the freaking Bell House. If you haven't gotten tickets, if you're in New York, make sure you get them. haven't gotten tickets if you're in new york make sure you get them but by this time it might be sold out but if not check chad and jt.com but we will also be in minneapolis next week and detroit for that weekend one night minneapolis detroit for the weekend then denver in early december get your tickets at chadgt.com you will not regret coming to the show we are also brought to you by our merch our merch is still available for a limited time make sure you get some it's a good christmas gift some stokier it's custom dyed high quality really good stuff make sure you check it out shop.chat and jt.com also we

are brought to you by the legends at marine lair guys marine lair is one of my favorite clothing brands i'm so stoked that they're a sponsor because i was a fan of theirs before they even came on board like i would always go by their store i would go in their store i'd be like this is like the dankest if you want to have that cool surfer look with the softest t-shirts of all time check out marine layer it's a go-to brand for great fitting and stylish closet staples their clothes are the perfect mix of laid-back style that also looks and feels premium for a limited time get 15 off with code going deep 15 at marine layer.com that's code going deep 15 for 15 off your entire order at

marine layer.com all right let's throw the patty on the grill and put the cheese on my ass what's going on stokers of stoke nation this is chad kroger coming in with the going deep chad jt podcast me with my compadre jean thomas what up boom clap stokers we're here with ralph barbosa dude thank you for joining us thank you guys for having me yeah dude we're glad to have you here we're big fans oh hell yeah this is cool and you came in hot dude you were talking about how people trash in and out yeah people people in texas want to trash in and out but i don't i don't think they've like truly tried it also they're comparing it to like Whataburger and don't get me wrong I like Whataburger but I don't I

don't even think that the burgers are Whataburger's like strong-sou and I love Whataburger but I'm I'm all about the chicken strips you ever had Whataburger chicken strips I went once and I gotta tell you I was underwhelmed by the experience because you hear so much about it from Texans and I'm sure the experience is the same for Texans coming to In-N-Out. But I was like, this is what people have been talking about? Yeah, I don't know, man. I remember Whataburger had the Chop House Cheddar Burger.

Before I go further, just let me tell you. Go to Texas. Go to Whataburger. Get the chicken strips with the fries and the gravy. That's what it's about. Oh, they have gravy? The gravy. Yeah.

You dip the chicken strips in the gravy. You dip your fries in the gravy. Or you dip the fries in the gravy or you dip the fries in the in the spicy ketchup and i do sometimes spicy ketchup and then some gravy but the whole burger thing i think people just wanted something to like fight california about yeah is that a texan thing or like are you guys more averse to like outside influences and flavors definitely we don't like different you know what i mean dude way to own it though but the burgers are decent don't get me wrong the they used to have a chop house cheddar burger or a chop house cheddy for the initiated and it would i think it was like all year round it was there and then they made

it like limited time i can't remember too good i do remember when it was like all year round it was there. And then they made it like limited time. I can't remember too good. I do remember when it was like limited time. It would come like, I just remember it would be like around football season. Get a Chophouse Chetty, watch a game. And then they discontinued it. And then I looked up online and they still were continuing it in like certain states, but not Texas. Oh, after that, I was so mad. Because they're playing with you a little bit yeah i thought i thought we were your home have you ever opened up to

your friends and told them that you're an in and out guy oh yeah my friends hate me bro i have no friends but you have principles the group the crew that i'm with right now the the main guys i hang out with they're all i don guys I hang out with, they're all, I don't want to sound mean, but they're all pretty big. They're heavy set dudes. They appreciate food. So they're not big on the whole like, I don't eat anything now, I'm a Whataburger guy. They're like, I eat what's good. Do you feel safe then when you sleep in between them?

I feel hot. Like temperature wise. Yeah, it can get too sweaty for sure. My buddies are pretty big and they're the main two guys they're always on the road with me and i remember when they first started coming on the road with me that uh we get on the planes together and i don't know why because we usually fly like southwest open seating i don't know why i felt like we should all sit together and i was always middle seat and i just got tired of my arms always just being sweaty from like rubbing on these dudes yeah and one day i was just like

i don't have to sit with these guys and sometimes they'll one of them will take a window seat the other one will take the aisle seat and then i'll sit like in the row behind them and i'll just wait and see who has to like sit in between them right did they notice when you when you sat behind them where they're like what the fuck yeah but they were like it's all right Right. Did they notice when you sat behind them? Were they like, what the fuck? Yeah, but they were like, it's all right, man. We understand. They're self-aware. Yeah.

Here's a big cue, because this has been a big debate on our podcast. Aaron, our sound engineer, he's a Five Guys guy. Oh, okay. Five Guys is good, yeah. People don't talk about Five Guys enough, I think. Yeah, Five Guys and In-N-Out. It's a little under the radar. Where do you stand?

That should be more of a like a competition right there five guys in in and out yeah just depending on what kind of burgers you like they go toe-to-toe on this podcast almost every week yeah yeah we talk about it a fucking lot dude you know serious you know what's crazy is i would go with five guys but not even because of the burgers the fries not even just that i think i dogs yeah i'm a think yeah yeah I knew say what you want I keep jokes I like a good hot dog no everyone likes a good hot who's picking on hot dogs I don't know just people should be like we they look down on hot dog yeah you go to fucking burgers place for the hot dog yeah and they're bad for

you I mean everything's bad for you but a hot dog like you're only supposed to eat like what you know that statistic that people always bring up that like the National Health like organization says usually you know you're only supposed to eat like one you know that statistic that people always bring up that like the National Health like organization says usually you know you should only eat one hot dog a year what thing yeah it's true oh I'm gonna die so soon it's all the entrails are they are it's all the leftover parts of the animal stuffed into shelling yeah it's like a pig's ass yeah you get the ass and the hood all of that sounds taste we're eating that started yeah yeah i've been eating nuts since i was a kid man chicago chicago yeah you don't know how much i love chicago too i thought you were gonna say eating ass i see i

watch your clips from uh zany's oh yeah yeah they're great i love zany's i'll go back to chicago or the rosemont location anytime i can yeah if i could i'd probably live like in chicago or new york or something do you eat butt nah i had a you know that the first time i came to california uh not not the first time but one of the first few times i came to california um i got pretty lucky with a lady and you know went in the hotel you know for doodling and whatnot nice and uh she she offered to eat my butt and i was like nah i'm good and she was like come on you're in california i was like i'm from what a nice lady yeah you're like don't tread on me yeah i got so texas right there don't lick on me bro yeah so did you feel too vulnerable like if she would have gone under the hood a little bit you you

wouldn't have known how to is it more that you're nervous about like what do i do while she's doing that or was it more like how do i live with myself after this nah i think that like i don't think it would have been that bad looking back on it i maybe should have just done it but i'm i'm such a ticklish dude i would have felt so like wimpy if like she started licking and then i was just like and like moving yeah i gotta like if you're gonna eat my butt, I gotta stay, I'm a man, I gotta. Poised. Yeah, I gotta be like,

oh yeah. But I knew I wouldn't have been able to. I would have definitely been like giggling, you know? Yeah, you gotta get some Whataburger and eat some chicken strips. Yeah, I gotta like dip it in the gravy. Yeah, be busy doing other stuff. I'd be like, yeah, barbecue. Barbecue.

Is it okay if my buddy comes in yeah of course i'll go grab him you guys keep cooking all right thank you sorry about that no no no it's all good i uh i feel like i feel like getting the offer is probably better than the act itself i think the offer was satisfaction enough yeah because i feel like you can walk around the next day they're like well at least i got the offer yeah it's kind of like when i like it's like when you're in a relationship and somebody knows you're in a relationship and they still hit on you and you don't cheat but just knowing that i could have cheated you have the you have you still got it yeah it's just like an ego feed yeah you gotta you gotta you gotta like not let it go to your head you

gotta harness it. And then one day when you're not feeling so confident about yourself, then you let it go to your head. Like, remember that day that I had opportunities? Like, I'm that guy. I'm just going to ask you, when you were talking about, I asked you if you eat butt, and you brought it to a story about you not getting your butt eaten.

Did you do that out of respect for the women whose butts you do eat no no i haven't ate a butt um i don't know if i'd be opposed to it um i just don't really go for it you know especially if it's like uh if it's like somebody you just started seeing or like a random hookup you know sometimes you just it happens and like you know you gotta be careful i'm a careful guy. I'm very afraid of STDs. You see, I'm not afraid of butt. I'm afraid of after butt consequences. I was going to ask you who you vote for. Who I vote for?

I've never voted. But, see, what interests me is do you think more Republicans eat butt or more Democrats eat butt? Damn, that's tough, man. Because Republicans, you know, they might act all conservative, but they're so like they're so in the They gotta get that stuff but they're also a little more wild sometimes too like Democrats will be afraid of dirt bikes Republicans will just pin it in fifth gear. Yeah, that's true I don't know. I don't think I hang out with enough of either. I think it might be 50-50 Yeah, I think I think more conservatives eat butt

oh because i think they're conservative with the politics the budge and then when you get in the bedroom they let loose oh yeah that makes sense you know and then maybe they are on more dirt bikes and again that's where they let loose you know like uh that's where they don't show fear and and then when it comes time to like being in the bedroom they start remembering other things they do. They're like, I should be brave. I rode a dirt bike today. Let me pin it.

Yeah. Let me pin it. Well, and then it could be interesting too if like more Democrats eat butt, but more Republicans get their butts eaten. Oh. That, yeah. But I might be getting too granular.

I don't know. This sounds like a question that we should take like on the road right yeah like really pulled like after every show just like you ever you remember like in comedy clubs they would have those comment cards yeah we should write it down like who do you vote for do you eat do you get eaten right you know one or the other both i mean i can make it happen go to office depot print this stuff out it would be valuable I'd like to see like the anchors for like Fox News and then MSNBC line up and say what they do yeah I think it'd be cool if like the whole country was tuned in when they show you the results yeah of all the votes yeah

entities but they're like we lost Georgia you're like no come on there's ballots still coming in um there was a sex doctor i think in the 20s named uh kinsey and before that no one knew anything about like he's the one who gave us all of our like aggregated stats on like how many women orgasm during sex or from like getting out or how big the average dick is before that it was all just like not talked about or just one brave hero just collecting all this data just a weird guy who like studied caterpillar dicks first and i was like what if someone studied human dicks and i was like you can't do it and he was like dude i'm going for it you can't tell me what to do there's dicks out there i'm gonna explore them yeah man that's cool

that's in the 1920s i think so that i mean i mean not that long ago yeah people were still very like i think more conservative back then so i bet you he got a lot of backlash too they're like yo you should you shouldn't be asking those questions but also what is the average it's good for people to know i do it's funny too i think we're getting more conservative like this dylan dennis thing have you been following that at all no what is that do you want to explain it yeah so look and it's very entertaining i'm not into like mma at all but there's there's just be so logan paul and dylan dennis are gonna fight do you know dylan dennis's who's he he was conor mcgregor's jujitsu coach and he kind of learned how to be

a troll from conor mcgregor so he's fought but not in a while but he spends most of his time kind of picking online fights but now he's actually gonna box which isn't really his forte against logan paul i didn't know that i thought he was just like an mma guy he's done some mma but i think he's mostly known for his jiu-jitsu skills okay so his hands are probably muscle menos compared to i feel like the amount of people that were talking shit about logan paul uh like dramatically declined after he started whooping so much ass yeah but it's back up because of this though yes so dylan dennis so dylan so logan paul is engaged to this model nina agdahl very pretty and uh she models and so Dylan Danis has been trolling him, just posting on Twitter photos,

like multiple photos a day of her with different guys. And it's been going on for like weeks. Mostly celebrity guys, but a lot of photos. Yeah, yeah. And so, I mean, he's just getting roasted on Twitter. But it's all these guys being like, your girl slept with all these other guys. But I thought we were moving towards sexual liberation.

But it's clear that like, there will always be a part of the male community that's like it's not cool for your chick to bang yeah i think that you're so i think there's like a limit like every guy should be mature enough to know like whoever you're dating has banged just banged around yeah they've lived a life yeah but you don't want to know who they are you don't want to teach them yeah you don't want the whole roster you know what i mean yeah i don't want specifics. Yeah, you don't want the whole roster. You know what I mean? Yeah. I don't care what year it is.

I'll never want the roster. I mean, that's got to be brutal. You go on Twitter and you just see a new dude every day. I wish I was tough enough, though. I think that's real toughness, to be able to sit there and get all those photos and see the roster and be like, I don't care. No, I think it would impact me, and I think that's why I've had kind of a pure-out interest in it.

But I'm like, isn a Purell interest in it but I'm like isn't the tough And it seems like it is affecting Logan But I don't even I can't even picture how he could Handle it better like what would be the move if you Were him to own it yeah cause I Mean I don't know it's tough cause

You gotta like still Work it out with this girl it's not her fault And if you do break up with her He just looks so bad you know like this guy's winning this guy controlled your outcome but i don't know there's not a real way to win because i mean you're still gonna get trolled by people on the internet who think it's funny to like piss you off not only is this guy trolling you but i bet there's so many people in the comments like ah damn sucks for you bro like yeah no it's mostly that do you just take the laws

and whoop the guy's ass. I mean, he's got to get in the ring with him, right? That's nice. Yeah, I think he's got to whoop the guy's ass. But then, like, Jake Paul, and I just find out,

yeah, but Jake Paul was basically like, you know, Twitter's where, tweets are tweets, whatever. But this is just making way more money for Logan, so. Yeah, well, people do do that where they're like, well, all this is just

helping my bottom line like i'm bringing in cash but i don't know like is that worth it maybe as the maybe it's not that big of a deal all these people talking everything dies down everybody forgets but it feels like every time i would spend the money from that i'd be reminded of where i got it from a little bit yeah this is logan right if i'm Logan, here's what I do. I fight the guy. I beat the guy's ass. I wait six, seven months. I break up with the girl because it does bother me deep down. But you make it about something else. I make it about something else.

Right. And then I find somebody who grew up super Christian conservative who wants to get their buddy. Who's got no background. No background. Who wants a buddy. But she might not be a good hang. This girl's probably a good hang because she did hang with leo oh yeah she hung she hung with leo leo's one of them and the jonas one of the jonas one of the jonas yeah no there's there's a lot of

cool guys like if it was your if it was some guy's friendship roster we'd be amped we'd be like this guy's got cool friends i don't know at the same time that might also be kind of cool you ever see you ever go to like a. You ever see those pictures? I think it's called the bad guys. They make different ones. They sell them at carnival state fairs where it'll be all the gangsters from all the gangster movies, but they're all sitting at one table. It'll be Tony Soprano and Marlon Brando and stuff.

I think it'd be cool to get one of those made with all the guys she banged. But if I'm Logan, I'm in the middle, like the godfather of them. Yeah, they're all looking to you. It's like, yeah, we were all the approved. It's the Last Supper, but he's Jesus. Yeah. So maybe just own it. Yeah, I wish that was it.

I wish it wasn't a big deal. But it seems like there's just a reality to these things that's a bit harsh. It's always going to be a big deal. I know. As progressive as we get, I feel like a lot lot of us deep down to the core are still wired like basic males you know it's true we can only we don't want to progress that far we always want to bring it back a little bit you think you think i can't be somewhat jealous i'm still amazed by fire what about fire amazes you i don't know it's like it's oxygen but it's so hot it's burning

right now it's burning oxygen i don't know it blows my mind and if it didn't burn it wouldn't be bright you need that heat yeah the wheel still blows my mind that male heat provides something the wheel is never like done being reimagined look at all these rims 4g autos yeah what's a 4g auto it's a type of rim is that a good one yeah they make amazing rims you got rims like that no do you think ai is gonna create a better wheel whoa nah maybe not yet i don't think ai is as advanced as they say it is no that some people have been saying that it's a bit more basic it's a scare tactic when i was a little kid if i acted bad or if i didn't do something that like my grandparents wanted me to do, they

would threaten me with Chucky. So I was really afraid of Chucky. Yeah, Chucky scared the fuck out of me. Yeah. It's freaky. I think AI is just modern day Chucky. I don't know who's in charge. Maybe the corporations are like, you guys better act right.

They're going to take your job. Big something is trying to scare us. Right. Make us small. With Chucky, were you afraid of the movie or the trailer? Because the trailer did it for me. The moment I saw Chucky, I didn't even need to see the movie to see the i didn't need to see him at all yeah i just saw his face and i was like that's it i caught a glimpse of the movie i didn't even see the trailer

i just would see the dog and i'd catch glimpses of the movie yeah and that was it scarier than the imagination yeah do you have nightmares yeah yeah me too i still get nightmares of chucky do you nah you ever fuck him up nah one time i had a had a nightmare that he jumped on my back and then i couldn't get him off me really yeah that was probably the one that stuck with me a lot that's like probably a metaphor for like a little doll jumping on your back with a knife and stabbing you it's just stress no it's a metaphor for a little doll what do you mean a little doll like a doll like chucky jumping on your back. I'm just scared of dolls in general. That's the metaphor. You remember Chucky from the Rugrats?

Good guy. One of my cousins had like a doll of his, and I was so afraid of like Chucky Chucky that I didn't even like that doll. You thought they were related or something? Yeah. They might be a little racist of me. They were both like redheads. Yeah. Dolls.

Yeah, it's a little racist. You'll be all right. Alligators scare me. Sometimes I get nightmares. You ever run in the water that's like just below your knees it's like covering your shins and it's kind of hard to run in it i have dreams sometimes that i'm running in that water there's like alligators behind me damn but i'll wrestle one what about snakes oh snakes scare the shit out of me yeah we uh we i live like out in a country town and sometimes these long snakes you just find them they're just out there yeah you got to chop them with a machete really yeah

well what kind of snakes i don't know i don't like studying do you get do you get big spiders out there yeah i haven't seen too many spiders one time in my closet there was a scorpion really yeah might be the scariest of the animals yeah because what does it want other than this sting my shoes i have nice shoes wants to live in your shoe yeah i think so i get nervous putting Yeah. Might be the scariest of the animals. Yeah. Because what does it want other than this sting? My shoes. I have nice shoes. It wants to live in your shoe? Yeah, I think so. I get nervous putting my shoes on because I have brown widows at my place.

There's a spider? Yeah. They're like black widows, but I think a little bit less poisonous. But they look just as scary. They look terrifying. And I'm scared of them being in my shoe. I hate spiders, man. I've been killing spiders lately.

Do you guys feel... I do a sign of the cross after I do it and I ask for forgiveness. being in my shoe. I hate spiders, man. I've been killing spiders lately. Do you guys feel... I do a sign of the cross after I do it, and I ask for forgiveness. Yeah. You should. I don't want to take life lightly. Spiders are like gangs or like the mafia. They retaliate quick. Every time I've killed a spider, I've gotten bitten by one the next day.

Really? You keep taps. Crows are like that. To get aerial with it. Crows are cool. Crows are like that. Ooh. To get aerial with it. Crows are cool. Crows will remember. If a crow gets attacked on a certain block, it goes through some kind of telepathic crow network that everybody knows not to go back there.

Wow. What the hell? They're super smart. They don't attack? I think they stay away, but I think they will attack if they feel like they got to. But I don't think it's... They're not as belligerent as humans. Interesting.

Aren't they the ones that show up? I made all that up. Are you sure? No, the last part. Not the part about them being smart and knowing not to go back don't aren't they like the sign of like death or something yeah they're my girlfriend's like spirit animal for real that's cool yeah i mean they're cool they're all dark they're like the batman of birds that's my girlfriend with her what's your spirit animal babe that's a good question i should know that i that what do you think about aliens they're definitely out there

I can't believe they got caught yeah well that's the thing it's like I was I'm into aliens for sure but now they're in the news so much and they're like in the mainstream and then like the government saying that they're out there I'm like it's kind of lost it's it's like it's lost its um yeah i'm like yes i don't care anymore no i care still i just i just

want to know like what do you want right are we acting right towards them what if they're peaceful and we're the ones pissing them off well the scary thing is they're so smart or so much more sophisticated that there's nothing we can even offer them. It's like an ant talking to us. See, everybody says they're so much smarter and sophisticated than us, but why do they keep getting caught?

Right. We gotta have a handful by now. Yeah. We caught them on our cameras? Like, I don't know. Like, have we put one in a headlock before? I bet.

I bet we've had them in all sorts of locks. Suck, dude. Suck. You good, dude? That's what I'm talking about. What's up, dude? What's up? You good, dude? That's what I'm talking about. What do you want with my planet, bro? Say it.

Speak up. You ever, like, I don't know, like on the news, anytime there's like a crime wave or like there's a lot of break-ins to a house, they're like, these criminals are using these techniques to get in your house and, you know, you got to have the upper hand. Like, but these criminals are getting smarter. And then, you know, then you'll see them get caught like on a ring light and then somebody will like tackle a guy trying to run out of the front yard and it's like these are the smart criminals it's very true yeah anytime they release alien footage i'm like bro we're kicking their asses yeah it's like in movies like

you know bank robbers are always so smart and sophisticated and then when you read about real bank robberies like they always get caught a week later. They're like, he spent $30 million in Libya. He was easy to find. Yeah, he was on the drive home, and he opened the bag, and the dye pack blew up, and he crashed or something.

Because if you're really smart, you'd probably not need to rob banks. I bet you that we're like... Not to be disrespectful. I mean, yeah, maybe they're smarter, but how much smarter? Yeah, they're going to have you on record now talking to us about the aliens. And they're going to come for you. I've talked so much shit about aliens.

But I do it like a reverse psychology. When is enough enough? I'm trying to get them to come down and really get in my face about it. You want to go toe-to-toe with these guys. I've never had my own podcast. But the day aliens come, I'll be ready. We want to talk to Ralph. Yeah, they're going to try to get me from my house, and they'll break in, and I'll have

a studio like this set up, and I'll be like, have a seat. What is that guy's name? Chris Hansen? Yeah. Chris Hansen them? He did The Lesters. I mean, yeah, they touch people, don't they? Don't they probe us and stuff?

Yeah. Wow. You guys ever see that movie, The Fourth Kind? Dude, yeah. No. Oh, that movie gave me kind dude yeah no oh that movie just gave me nightmares travis walton that's who it was i was like i was like in the seventh or eighth grade and that movie came out yeah it's uh i mean that that abduction scene they make it so

gross because they make the aliens like there's a lot of slime involved i don't think aliens have a lot of slime i think that's an 80s thing maybe i don't know i don't remember that movie too much i just remember uh i snuck into it and it freaked me out what happened to the guy well the lady right uh this guy that's worse this yeah i don't know yeah is this guy travis walton he uh it's like a real story and he's on joe rogan i think you and dan put it on for me once yeah yeah so he he got abducted in like North Carolina or something apparently this is story he got abducted for like 72 hours then he showed up naked in a phone booth oh shit yeah and so I don't know we're talking about the same it sounds like

you're good dude you're talking about a fictional film it's like I don't know what I were like either you're talking about the stephen king novel is it i don't know i've been like you know what let's not settle it let's not look it up and let's not figure out all i know is that there's like in the confusion they like they would put people under hypnosis and then like oh i got the way wrong movie what's the name i have the wrong one i don't know what was it way different than the one he's thinking of yeah should i Should I look it up? Aaron probably knows. I snuck into this movie, and I thought it was called The Fourth Kind. I might be wrong now.

No, you're right. You're right. I know what movie you're talking about now. I think Chad is referring to Fire in the Sky. That's right. Ah. I got to check that one out now. Yeah, I fucked up.

It's okay. Ghosts never really scared me much. Aliens did. I've been super into ghosts lately. I think that it would be way cooler for the government to confirm that ghosts are real.

I was going to ask you about ghosts. Yeah. I've been talking about that on stage a lot lately because I'm a huge believer in it. Do you believe in demons? Yeah. Yeah.

That's scary. There's like good ghosts, bad ghosts, you know? Yeah. Is it how they live their life that determines what kind of ghosts they are? I think that like if you were like semi-bad but semi-decent, you maybe kind of get stuck on earth for a while. You know, soul can't rest.

You know what I'm kind of obsessed with is hot ghosts. Hot ghosts? Yeah, because everyone's like, oh, my house is haunted. I'm like, what if it's haunted by like a pretty cool busty gal with no track record? You're like, bro, she's perfect. I've been in bed and I'm laying on my side and I kind of feel like I'm getting hugged

and I turn around and nothing's there. I like to imagine that it's a very hot ghost. Yeah. Who's just treating you, just wants to make you feel nurtured and taken care of. She's like, it's all right, baby. You deserve that.

Yeah, it's all right. Rest easy. I get anxious before I get to bed, too. I need that. I need some touch before my eyes close. Scratch my back. What is that? What is that about male fear

that it percolates more right before you're at rest? I don't know. Do you relate to that or is that something I'm just saying nah you know i never fall asleep without having something on so i like distract myself noise but yeah if i do fall asleep with like no tv no nothing i do get kind of anxious but i just start thinking of stuff that i should have got done i'm like i really should have gone to the grocery store

today replied to those emails Or something Right But you know If I just leave like Futurama on And I'm just like I'm distracted And then just knock out Yeah Blaine Pascal says All of man's problems

Come from his inability To sit alone in a room With his thoughts Who said that? Blaine Pascal Who was that? Just some dude Man I hate that

He hit it on the nose I'd kick that guy's ass Trying to get in my feelings Like that You think that's where My problems come from, bro? You don't know me. Yeah, why is he getting so personal about stuff and then putting it out there in the

world for all of us to have to live with? I don't know, bro. He doesn't know what he's talking about. I don't have no problem. That's a really funny response to philosophers being like, dude, shut up. Quit coming after me, dude. Shut up, nerd. I'll kick you in the nuts.

You headbutt your brother. Like that. Your problem's coming from your nuts now, aren't they? That's funny. Dude, what was I going to ask about aliens?

Shit. I lost it. Might have been the aliens taking it from you. Yeah. Yeah. Texas.

This never happened. Do you drink? I drink from time to time. It's just messed up because, you know, when people offer you to, like, hey, man, you want to grab a drink? And you'll be like, no, I don't really drink.

Or sometimes you'll take it. To me, it's all about, like, the people, the environment. And I feel messed up saying it because I feel like someone's going to hear it and then eventually they'll ask me for a drink. And then I'll be like, nah, you're not the one. But, yeah, for me, it's all about like just the situation the area you gotta feel inspired yeah if uh it's weird it's like i either have to have nothing to do the next day like that way i can sleep in be hungover whatever or i'll probably get really really drunk like the night

before i have something super important to do the next day just out of like the pressure yeah yeah but john jones does that the fighter he used to like party fight week I think to get him out of his head to be like all right well I already kind of fucked up so he doesn't feel the need to be perfect anymore yeah that makes a lot of sense so I can escape but yeah no I won't drink too often maybe a couple times a month maybe less we just shot a big special for netflix did you feel a lot of pressure going into that yeah yeah i'm naturally like a super nervous person that whole netflix special the taping and everything um i wasn't like super nervous because so man i had i had an opportunity to go to uh just for laughs festival but it would have been the week right before the taping.

And at first I was like, man, hell yeah. But then I was like, no, I should really stay and work out the hour. And so I just booked five days worth of shows back home. Back home they show a lot of love. I'm very spoiled. So I was able to do like two shows a night for like five, six days just to getting comfortable on stage so by the time we taped like i was nervous and everything but i had also just been doing like two hours a night yeah so every night so i was just like fine with it i was like way more loose but it's it's it's like a never-ending nervousness like now i'm just nervous like what if people don't like it oh so like now that you've recorded now that you've shot it you're thinking about how it's

going to be received yeah yeah that's brutal when you were up there did it feel when once you got up there did it feel like a normal show uh it felt all right um well uh like like the tuesday night shows because we shot it like on a friday and we didn't shoot them all we didn't do all the shows at the same venue i was just at different venues back home in texas you know and so like the tuesday night shows and then like the thursday night shows man i wish we would have taped those these crowds were like loving everything i said i'll just be like pastrami they'd be like oh applause break this guy gets it yeah yeah and uh by the time we taped like i still felt in the zone like

there were good crowds but um they made you work for it a little bit more yeah and i think maybe we freaked them out with like the announcements where we tell like you know like hey like try not to get up and move or like like, don't do this, whatever. On the first show, there was this one guy. I hate this guy. If I ever get to meet him, I'll kill him. This guy kept getting up to go to the restroom or something. I guess he was just really drunk.

But it was the early show. I was like, are you this drunk? I think he kept going to pee. During the special? Yeah. And he knocked over, like, one of he kept going to pee. During the special? Yeah. And he knocked over one of the lights that we had. Oh, really? Yeah.

It wasn't even that small of a space. That's why I think he was really drunk. Because where he kept walking through, there was plenty of room. And he kept knocking. He knocked over something. He knocked it over twice. And it was very distracting. I almost stopped, like, what I was saying to, like, kind of make fun of him.

Because if it was, like, a regular club show, you know, you'd pick on him or whatever. But I just, like, kind of had to zone in and, like, act like it didn't happen. Right. And hope that maybe the camera didn't catch him. Or at least, you know, we had a few different cameras. So, hopefully, it's not too noticeable um was there any bad like global atrocities that happened like the day of the show nah thank god that would have sucked i would have been so mad if i had to like end the special with like you know pray for dubai yeah i was talking to jt about this because like even shooting videos or like like the the process

of like like for you like the building the hour and then like all that stuff for me that's like the best part where you're just building everything yeah like the performance and then like there's like this powerlessness you feel when you're sort of like all right it's in your guys hands now a little bit yeah like you know it's cool to tape things it's it's what got me to where i am is you know clips videos tapes of my stand-up but there's never anything that can compare to a live show and so build like you said building it was so much fun i literally built it while touring just trying out different jokes different you know whatever and um all my favorite jokes that i've been doing on the road over the last year like that's just what i did all my favorite jokes and stories and um like there's there's never gonna you're never

gonna have like a hundred percent satisfaction there's gonna be some people like i didn't really like that it's not funny yeah yeah and i don't know anytime i see those little comments or just like somebody who's like doesn't like it i'm like man if only you could have seen it live though like i could have got you yeah you know but yeah i mean tapings are just like any videos are just kind of nerve-wracking in general they are and then they aren't you know because you put it out there and and people's response and opinions like that's what you want um and there there is this other like you know part of me is just like fuck what are they going to say how long are they going to be talking about it for but then another part of you is just like well i mean it's out there it's out of your hands like don't worry

about it like if they like it they like and you did something they don't yeah and it's it will always be there and and i'm sure if they would if you would have if you from 10 years ago would have known that you were going to have this moment now 10 years later you probably would have signed up for it with all the anxiety that comes with it yeah yeah nah i mean at the end of the day it's always worth it you know what i mean yeah i'm talking to myself too yeah it's tough but i did but i'm also naturally a nervous person people like people think i'm very relaxed i saw a comment on one of my videos where they were like this guy's heart rate never passes like

70 beats per minute or something but they're not inside the head where it's spinning yeah so like i'm naturally a nervous person but i gotta catch myself and just be like dude like chill well so when you're freaking out off stage do you freak out at like a normal speed that like oh my god what's going on or are you still pretty chill and you're like hey this is crazy we need to do something matt i think i fidget a lot uh i don't think i'm like talking a lot or or yelling at anybody but it's like little tics like you're like hitting a lighter or something yeah oh man that's why i gotta stop i stopped carrying lighters because i was always like anything i had on me or somebody i might come

off like a real asshole because somebody might just be like, yo, man, you want a milkshake? I'm like, bro, I fucking hate milkshakes. You'll snap real quick. Yeah, I'll snap. Yeah, I'll be like, who's buying milkshakes right now? And everyone's like, what the fuck? Don't you realize I'm about to explode up here?

I told you I like the hot dogs here. Yeah. But your boys can probably see it, huh? They probably know when you're sped up a little bit. Yeah. Nah, yeah. They see it. huh? They probably know when you're, like, sped up a little bit. Yeah. Nah, yeah. They see it.

But they, I mean, we know each other very well. Sometimes watching them have a good time will snap me out of it. And I'll be like, ah, nah, we're not hanging out. But sometimes it'll make me even more mad. I'm like, why are they so happy right now? Like, I want to trade with you. I want to just do the feature spot. You know what I mean? Yeah.

But, like I said, it's always worth it. You know, you know i could like i could not be on the road every weekend or not do a taping and then just do these shows with my buddies where we split up the time evenly or something right but it's like nah i can't say no to like a 45 minute to an hour headline set i can't say no to like taking my chance at a taping. Like it's always going to be nerve wracking, but the big reward always comes with, with the bigger stress, the bigger risk,

you know? Yeah. And it's fun. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. As you've like gotten more notoriety, gotten more opportunity,

has your voice changed in your comedy? Like, are you like, do you look at things from a different vantage point now? Or do you still feel the same as when you were earlier in it? Oh, that's a good question. I don't know. I'd hope that my voice doesn't change too much.

I think it has here and there. This was like fun, but also frustrating too. So now that that hour for Netflix is like burned, you know, like I'm trying not to do any of those jokes on the road anymore i want to build the next hour i think i have like 20 to 30 minutes of it already there and those 20 to 30 minutes and it's also because they're newer they they feel way more fun than the hour that i just gave to netflix and part of me was just like you want to call netflix i want

to be yeah i want to be like yo this is what you guys should say but they're both like i like both the jokes i think they're both funny but um but one feels more you right now yeah and and i'm always whatever jokes i'm writing at the moment i'm not sitting on them for too long like i'm always trying to write i'm always trying to put out new and what the hour i did for netflix is definitely the hour that was very me at that moment and and before that and the hour that i'm building right now just all the jokes that i've been writing lately uh feel like and even my buddy was telling me because you know we started together it feels like very like an older version of me. Like 2019 Ralph.

He's like, I feel like those were the jokes you were doing like back then. I don't know if that's good or bad, but it is. You know what I mean? It is what it is. And I'm liking it. I'm having fun with it. So, yeah, sometimes I watch old clips of myself. And I'm like, do my jokes still come off this way?

Like, am I still writing these jokes? Maybe not. Which is probably a good or bad thing, you know? It's just a weird thing to, you have to do it, but it's such a weird thing to even just watch yourself. Yeah. To, like, think of yourself as yourself and have you changed as yourself. It's, like, such a weird, spinny thing where you're, like, I don't even know what any of this actually means. Well, I only do it, like, man, I've only watched my own clips. Like, maybe I did this, like, like two three weeks ago where i went through my

instagram reels to watch clips or youtube but before that i hadn't watched them since like i put them out which was maybe a year or just maybe less than a year and i don't think anybody's ever like the same person for a whole long time you know you might be mostly the same but i feel like we're always changing we're always evolving devolving i don't know but we're always changing and so i don't think there's ever going to be like oh that joke is so ralph or whatever um so i feel like yeah anytime i'm watching my clips or thinking of this material versus that material like it's never the same. And whatever I like the most, I think, is what I'm doing at the moment.

When did you start putting out clips? Was it around the time? Because your Don't Tell comedy sets, that was sort of, like, what popped off, right? Were you putting stuff out before that? I only started putting clips out a month before the don't tell set came out the don't tell set came out maybe like june i believe i could be wrong of last year yeah of last year 2022 yeah 23 right now right yeah yeah yeah um it's weird i i remember seeing clips of other people's don't tell sets and I saw Mark Smalls you guys know

Mark Smalls yeah yeah I saw his sets getting a lot of attention and so I want I definitely wanted to do a set I got to do the set and whatever and then like the next day after I taped it that that told me when I taped it they're like it'll probably release like um like in a month about a month or so and the very next day after taping i remember i got home and i went to do an open mic and mark smalls was in town headlining and so he was at that mic just like staying warm or whatever and i i introduced myself i asked him like did it help you get more followers like did it help you land more gigs and he's like yeah yeah he's like it brought a lot of attention to my page and like i think because of that said i'm out here headlining right now he's like but your page has

to be sticky that that's what he told me he's like you need content that makes people want to follow you know like it's gonna bring people to your page but whether they follow or not is whether you have stuff for them to watch you know so at that time i was still working at a barbershop and i wasn't really making much. I wasn't a reliable barber. Anytime I had some shows pop up, I'd cancel and take off out of town. I'd cancel on all my clients. So I kept losing clients. But any money I had from the barbershop, I was just throwing it at my buddy, Duwood.

Shout out to Duwood back in Dallas, who would come film the sets. And any joke that i thought could even get like somewhat of a laugh i just kept posting it not any joke i mean the jokes that i really thought were like man this will get a laugh whatever quick to a punch a lot of punch i just started uploading i tried to upload like two clips a week or one clip a week and then i hit up my buddies who are on the road with me now and i was like we always should just make little one minute instagram reels little little skits something to kind of help us all get some followers and they really worried by the time the don't sell can't don't the don't tell set came out and they put out clips i mean they get they

get tons of people coming already and i already had somewhat of a page for them to want to keep following and i felt like that helped so much what is harder disappointing like a comedy club or disappointing someone with a bad haircut the comedy club hair grows back stories are forever oh really because i don't know like i've been to shows where the comedian let me down but i was like oh whatever i still made it but like when someone gives me a bad haircut no the animosity but you don't feel it you're you're teflon i don't care about people's hair anymore were you ever when you were doing it were you not that sensitive to like no i was but it's just that i started off when i was 13 you started cutting hair when you were 13 yeah i went and i spent a bunch of birthday money at a little beauty shop across the street from my middle school.

Just like clippers and stuff like that. I mean, I messed up a lot. When I was 13, YouTube tutorials weren't even out. There was one guy. And I always remember I loved his videos. There's a guy whose Instagram name was Cake and his Randy. I think he's from like Bay Area or somewhere in California. And he was a dope barber.

He's probably still cutting hair. And he was like the one person on YouTube back then who would actually show you like how to do the fade. Now, there's so many how-tos, right? Back then, he was like the one person. Other than that, all I would find on youtube was videos of barbers doing like a time lapse fade and then they'd be like do you want to learn how to cut hair like this like go to my website order my dvd and i was like oh you piece of shit but cake in his randy was our savior man who'd you practice on uh mostly my buddy tony one guy one guy he would get tired of me begging and

he would let me keep messing him up over and over again. And I would go to my grandma's. I lived at my grandma's, but I'd go to her room, and I was like, hey, I messed up Tony's haircut. Can you give us a ride to the barbershop so I can see if they could fix it? And would you try all different kind of cuts on him? Yeah. So the one video that I would see from Cake and His Randy was like the taper fade, or sometimes they call it the temple fade, which is like right here on the temples. And that was like the easiest cut to do so i'll start with that one and uh then then after failing on that one so much uh i would try like different fades like a mid fade a bald fade maybe

just a scissor cut maybe no fade at all but i would oh man i'd mess them up they'd get better you know or they take me longer but every time I'd mess up or other people judged it, I'd get so mad to the point where, like, I would almost cry because, like, I just wanted it to come out so good. But eventually you get better. You finally get it. You get good. And then, you know, you fall in love with comedy,

and you're just like, what do I care about your fade, man? Like, I just don't want to bomb tonight. Yeah. Were you running bits on people when you were doing their do? Nah, I tried it a couple times but the other barbers could catch it and they oh they roast me for that really yeah they'd be like that's not fucking funny they're like don't do comedy but they were just like being harsh they were very supportive of comedy was there yeah they were just like keep it out of the barbershop was there

a good barbershop culture there oh yeah shout out to oak cliff barbers in oak cliff dallas texas i grew up getting my haircuts there uh i started getting my hair because when i was a teenager my dad took me there a couple times and then i ended up working there for like four or five years that's cool yeah when did you start comedy i started comedy my first open mic ever was maybe 2016 i went like two three times that year but i kept getting really scared of like older dudes. Like intimidated the shit out of me. But 2017, I just started going back consistently and then I just didn't stop anymore.

Yeah. Would you let me cut your hair? No. Why not? It grows back. No, no. I need to see you do something on like a wig. Would you let Ralph cut your hair?

Yeah. I could. You know how to do it? Would you cut it right now? Yeah. I mean, you got scissors, comb, maybe like a spray bottle will wet it up a little bit. Okay. Your hair would be harder to cut.

Your hair is pretty curly, right? Yeah, super curly. I just got a haircut too, but I'm down. How do they cut your hair will be harder okay it's pretty curly right yeah super curly i just got a haircut too but i'm down how do they cut your hair they i just you know sometimes they they shampoo it and they get it wet and they do the thing wet the shit out of it yeah but last time the guy just hit it with the spray thing and he took a quarter inch i don't cut a ton of it off um and then you know that's about it it's a it's a little tough to cut when it's curly i'm afraid of cutting myself i've only cut myself with curly when you're getting up to the ends there yeah i'm like this i started thinking about uh that line from stebbers like you curly headed fuck because i cut myself every time but also if you do mess

it up it's kind of hard to tell because it's so curly it like a bunch up well so when the barbers tell me like hey i wish i had curly hair like yours. Are they just saying that? Nah, bro. Everybody wants curly hair. You got to get all the juice, bro. All the juice? Yeah. Or all the juice? Women love juice.

Oh, juice. Maybe juice too. Well, a lot of curly hair. Yeah. Women love curly hair. Do they? Yeah. Cool.

My hair is so straight. Yeah, you have very fine hair. It just goes straight down. Like, I hate that. I've had it. You want a little more floop it's some sort of some sort of wave or maybe some sort of volume my hair just looks like i had a hat on huh you ever go long no so i've had it slightly longer than this this is

this is like i'm going for a record i usually would just buzz it but because it's so straight i'm like what am going to do with it? Are you Mexican? Yeah. Do you like the band Mana? Mana? Yeah, I like Mana. It's my parents' wedding song.

Yeah? I love that band. I wish I would have went to your parents' wedding. Labios Compartidos. Oh, yeah. That's not their song, but that's the song I like. I was thinking about Mana on the drive over here. Really?

Because I had to go down Mariposa. And they got a song called Mariposa? Yeah. Nice. Do you go to Old Cliff Barbers for your haircut now yeah the same guy who used to come here when i was 13. they call that dude my other dad yeah yeah that's his name well just like the other barbers my dad his name is jose jose jose rosa yeah nice have you ever cut ladies hair uh i tried to once but i never wanted to do that i remember at the bar a

lot of pressure there right yeah that's how it's tougher um the longer it gets like the harder like slightly longer than his hair it was probably like the most that i'll be comfortable with but once it starts getting like act like at the shoulders i'm like nah dude i'm not gonna be able to like exactly get what you want here and i know was at the barber college. They had this lady come. And, man, we were a really shitty barber college. Nobody would want to take the walk-ins. And this lady was like, come on, come on. The one in the instructor was like, you're going to cut her hair.

I was like, no, no, I don't know how to cut ladies' hair. I don't want to learn. They're like, no, no, it's more money. If you learn how to cut ladies' hair, you can make more money. I'm like, that's okay. I don't want to make money that much. I just want to make enough to get by. I really don't want money. And it's like, come if you learn how to cut ladies hair you can make more money i'm like that's okay i don't want to make money that much like i just want to make enough to get by like i really don't want money and it's like come on come on i was like ah fuck it and the lady was so nice

and but her hair was very like damaged um and she she explained what she wanted and the instructor lady was telling me like how to do it but it was coming bad like so it was coming out so bad to the point where i could tell like this is a bad haircut and the lady was still nice she's like oh yeah it's fine i'm like no it's not lady like you need to start being honest with yourself if you're gonna be happy in life yeah but after that i was like i'll never do this like again well yeah because the markup on a female hair like a dude haircuts what like 30 bucks 40 bucks yeah it's like like 30 bucks but by the time i stopped cutting hair it was like no more than like 30 bucks and a lady's haircut is what they get in the hundreds right

yeah it just depends what they want yeah like 80 to 80 to 400. and then a lot of the yeah it's like because they do their color is like a color and it takes like six hours just shows you how little we know about women he's like i think like 80 to 400. that's what i heard that's actually a wider somewhere between 50 and 10 000 well i don't even want to delve into it it's like i think like 80 to 400 that's such a wider somewhere between 50 and 10 000 well i don't even want to delve into it it seems like i get scared to even talk about it do you do coloring nah i didn't want to do none of that you never like bleach someone's hair nah i never wanted to learn that i remember they would teach us the masks the black masks and and the how to properly shave i learned how to properly shave that was kind of cool like a straight razor?

Yeah. That's cool. That was pretty cool doing like the hot towel with her. But even that, I was like, nah, I don't want to go that far into it. But I love doing like, you know, maybe just like some scissors and fade the sides or different stuff, you know. But I was on very basic haircuts. Nice.

Do you get annoyed as a barber? Do you get annoyed when people show you a photo? They like i want to look like this not not really um only because after a while i started to be able to recognize like the different hair types and textures and i could let them know like how close to that they could actually look did you ever see anyone do like a cross race kind of ref like like a black dude comes in and he's like, Paul Walker. No, there were maybe more like Hispanic dudes trying to get like a black dude haircut. And I'm just like, your hair can't stand up for a flat top, bro. Like, just stop denying your roots.

Yeah. Just accept that you could have a nice comb over and just do that. And then every time the shoulders just went down he's like that's a bummer man yeah i like that optimism though i'm like that too where i'm like no it could happen if i believe in it it'll change you guys ever seen the movie juice with tupac oh of course a lot yeah yeah a lot uh like everybody in the crew had like the cut through the top like the squirrel you know some of the guys wanted it like that and their hair was kind of like longer and i would let them know like bro your hair doesn't stand up your hair is like coming

down that is a very cool haircut it is what was his what's what's tupac's name in that he's got like a psycho bishop bishop yeah it's a badass name and then there's that famous shot when the when uh omar epps goes to school after like tupac's killed their homies he closes the locker the locker bishop's right there he's got that psycho face on him dude after Tupac's killed their homies. He closes the locker. The locker. Bishop's right there. He's got that psycho face on him, dude. Yeah. Tupac could play psycho. Tupac is an artist, man.

He might be the best psycho. He's in the top 10 psycho actors for me. It would have been nice to see him do more psycho shit. He could bring it. Even just watching him in real life spit on a camera and stuff, I'm like, oh my god, the menace. There was a dude at the barbershop I worked at. He still works there. His name's Zeus. He hates Tupac really yeah how he's such a hip-hop

head and he just does not like tupac he's like just on the music yeah he's like as an actor he's like he's a great actor yeah good actor he's like but he didn't live the stuff he talks about well he's juilliard he's an act he's a theater kid yeah but i'm like there's like 90 of the rappers probably didn't live the stuff they're talking about. And in terms of method acting in his real life, like he shot a cop in the ass. He got beat up by the cops a couple times. He beat up a lot of people. He did.

He got shot six times. The man was wild. And gave the finger going into the ambulance. Like, even though he didn't, and his mom was in the Black Panthers. It wasn't like he grew up like la-di-da. Yeah. Like, she was a hardcore lady. I don't know.

I think it's just weird that he went to because you can watch videos of him in theater school and he's like he's very dainty and kind of effeminate and then so it's weird to watch him transit but I just think

he was an extreme guy. I think whatever environment he was in he was going to do it 100%. Yeah. Green Eggs and Ham is a great book. I bet you Dr. Seuss

wasn't eating green eggs and ham or arguing with some guy who didn't want to eat them and then they're like on a boat or with a box in a box. Wait, Dr. Seuss

did not eat green eggs? Who knows? Fraud. Dr. Seuss and Tupac are just the two biggest frauds right now. Like, yo, you lie too? Yeah.

They're up in Thug's Mansion. But you gotta respect the writing. Yeah, I'm a big Tupac fan. He really, whenever I see him I feel like more excited for life. Yeah?

I want to attack the day yeah he's so he's so because he'll be the thing i like about him is he'll be on one song he'll be a total asshole and then on the next song he'll be the most sensitive person that ever lived and both things feel true to me like he was it was kind of almost bipolar richard pryor's like that for me where they're they're like both sides of themselves all the way there's no middle for them i feel that uh my buddy talks about stuff like that a lot where he's like uh it's kind of it's kind of wrong to say somebody's like an asshole or a bad person or a good person because like i think people are way more complex than that it's like one decision you make could make you very much

like an asshole but another decision you make could make you very much a good person so yeah always so yeah tupac was definitely like everything and i think too many people play the middle like they worry about stuff too much maybe that's a good thing i don't know we wouldn't want a whole society of tupacs but i'd rather like want to be like that person than be someone who's like overthinking their like small things and like being like, oh, I'm a good person. I'm like, but what does that even mean in terms of how you live? Yeah.

Are you good to yourself? Yeah. Do you treat yourself to a five guys hot dog every now and then? Right. Take risks. If you treat yourself to too many hot dogs, you're technically a bad person. It's like you don't even care about yourself. You don't care about these pigs.

Yeah, I want to act like Tupac with the National Health Organization. Just spit hot dog meat out at them. This guy's a rebel. Yeah. On the hot dog front, for sure. For sure. What do you guys put on your hot dogs? Dude, I'm a big Chicago hot dog guy.

What does that mean? That you don't put ketchup on there? No ketchup. But what I love about it is they have the poppy seed bun which you can't taste poppy seeds but there's something about the look i would definitely go for poppy seed bun over regular bun yeah because the texture there's something about it yeah uh and then they put tomato slices on there they put whole pickle spears and then chilies and then I think onions, chopped onions, relish, mustard. That is a delicious hot dog. Yeah. And you?

Me, man. You know, I like the downtown LA dog. What's that? So it's a dog. It's wrapped in bacon. It's cooked outside. It's got ketchup, mustard. Oh, the ones that you get like outside of a baby.

Yeah, like after the Coliseum. And it's got mayonnaise on it. Mayonnaise. I love mayonnaise. I want it to feel dirty. I want every bite to be like a sin. I want to be like, you shouldn't be doing this. And I want to eat it.

I watched my girlfriend's friend, Lauren, eat a hot dog. She went straight down. The whole thing no twist she put it in and it was like she was cramming it right did she eat the whole thing in one bite no she was smushing it interesting but i like there's something so like hedonistic about that and ugly yeah yeah but not ugly it was delightful straightforward Straightforward. I'm very basic. Beef hot dog, mayo, maybe some grilled onions. If I'm getting fancy with it, if I'm making it at home, I might like diced up tomato.

Just very tiny tomato pieces, put them in there. You make hot dogs at home? Yeah. That's cool. Sometimes. I haven't done it in a while, but if I, like I never go grocery shopping. I always just give my list to like whoever in the house is going. Who do you live with?

I live with my dad, my teenage brother and sister, and my stepmom. So they go to like grocery stores. You still live with your dad? Yeah. Aren't you making like crazy not crazy but sorry yeah i could live on my own but you like the family sometimes sometimes i do miss being alone especially because like i'm never even home um but yeah i don't know i thought about i always wanted like a high-rise or like a downtown type apartment sure i just thought that'd be cool um but i've

also always wanted land like the kind that my dad owns so i started building a house on his land it's like i'm never leaving i also never lived with my dad before or like my my teenage siblings like they're they're my half siblings and i don't want to like be away from my half siblings um so you moved in at what age? It's like a year ago. Okay. And then, so they're never like, dude, you have a Netflix special. They're just happier there.

Yeah. They're cool. I mean, I don't know. Maybe it's like a Hispanic thing. 90% of the Hispanics I know still live with their parents, but could have moved out like 10 years ago. I lived in Costa Rica with a family for a little bit bit and there was three generations of family there yeah and like my a lot of my mexican friends it's the same deal like they're all even if they do move out they move next door i also do it out of laziness like like i said i never go grocery shopping and so um sometimes i'll just text my sister like hey could you pick this up next time you guys go and um or sometimes i just get lucky i go you know i'm a late night

snacker my my schedule is definitely backwards so around midnight or 1 a.m i'll go down for like like a lunch or dinner and i just get lucky like oh shit they brought you know hot cheetos and stuff for sandwiches like let me whip something up but if i go grocery shopping then i start to remember other stuff i like like hot dogs i'll be like oh shit hot dogs you got to kind of be there in the moment and see this stuff pop up yeah because in stuff the place i shop at they got these banana cream pies that come in like a little cup and i never think about buying them but every time i see them i'm like yeah i'm gonna get one of those yeah well there's something nice about too my girlfriend she'll do a lot of the grocery shopping and she'll be like what do you want and a lot of times i want ice cream i want cookies i want gummy bears you're a good boy i don't like asking for that that's it

you know i'm like oh i want uh steak and eggs no i have no shame and then i'm like just read between the lines then she'll come home she'll have ice cream i'll be like nice nice i got a i got my wisdom teeth taken out congratulations yeah and the girl that i've been with was very very much like nurturing taking care of me she's like bringing me soups and stuff every day and i should be like what do you want you know and i first like the first time she texted me that i was like i don't know you know whatever but then the next day i was like all right tomato soup from madeline uh and then ice cream from chick-fil-a because there's like a it's like a chick-fil-a not too far from the house like but if they're closed and just ice cream from here

with popsicles like i have no shame man you asked you know yeah yeah shame is it doesn't serve people right it doesn't help i'd feel a little shamed if i was just like like i want your butt like i'm gonna eat your butt yeah if it was a bigger inconvenience and a little more perverted. Yeah. I say that. Then she'd have to be, like, off. You write it on the grocery list. I do. That's actually something I've said.

That ass. I want that ass. Yeah. I eat ass. I do. But, yeah, I see what you're saying because lately I've been feeling like, my family's all, like, spread out. I'm, like, the last one in California except for my dad.

But lately I've been, like. I'm the last one in California except for my dad. But lately, I've been like, it'd be so nice to have my family in a compound. You guys started in California, and then you started spreading out from here? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Where's your dad live now, if you don't mind me asking? He's up north. He's in the UC Davis, Sacramento area. Okay. But my mom's in Santa Fe.

My brother's in New York. Sister's but like my mom's in santa fe my brothers in new york sisters in vermont brothers in new orleans um other sisters in north carolina then another one in new york so i'll like it's nice having everybody there yeah um but sometimes i am like a little bit in my feelings about stuff like my dad is maybe dadding a little too much right i'm get out of here man yeah tell me what to do yeah but i don't know for the most part it's cool and then i'm a dad like i have a four-year-old son and he loves hanging around everybody yeah everybody being there helps me out so much because like like this is what's today tuesday yeah tuesdays i'm usually home and i'm and i'm with my kid but you know like today he got to hang out with his grandparents my sister everybody so like that you know if i didn't live there i would have had to have like scheduled differently or something is he able to wrap his head around what's going on

not really um sometimes like he's seen my clips like other people showing on my clips or whatever he's like hey that's my dad and he'll laugh he doesn't really get it but then like other people will do stand-up like i watch a video like i was watching uh a mike epps clip yeah and my dad was like that's you and i'm like no that's not that's not me at all i don't think he really gets it is uh was it very motivating when you had your kid oh yeah yeah like a lot it made me really want to make stand up like a career um because i was still living at my grandma's i was cutting hair out of my grandma's for like a while um just making maybe like if i was if i was really lucky i was making maybe like 300 bucks a week maybe 200 bucks a week i just you know had my little shitty car whatever um but i was really satisfied with just doing local shows and open mics.

I was always on stage for sure, but I wasn't super on the business side of it. How do I get seen? Who do I got to talk to? It was more fun than anything, just being on local stages every night. But, yeah, when I found out I was going to gonna have a kid i made sure i got a job like at the actual barber shop where i could get more walk-ins and i made sure to not miss any type of opportunity stand-up wise and that's where that's where it kind of you know people start getting mad because i i was always trying to be on stage but now i'm really trying to make it my job i'm like

man by the time my kids start school like i need this to be my job i can't i can't really play around with this and and people would get mad because you know i might have a gig at a local bar like bar gig on a friday night and then you know come friday morning the manager at a club that was in dallas but i would try to go to like houston austin san antonio as much as i could like to take advantage so the manager at a club i was in dallas but i would try to go to like houston austin san antonio as much as i could like to take advantage so the manager of a club like in san antonio might be like hey man we need a last minute host for the weekend can you drive down here and i'll be like yeah i'm there and then whoever's booking that bar gig might get really salty they're like you for you bailing on me you know there's a lot of them right yeah because you can't afford to be

loyal to everyone you have to have loyalty to you and to yours yeah so you know i'd try to be as polite as i could like i'm really sorry but i think this is like an opportunity that could lead to something a lot of times it would man like shout out to matthew broussard i remember i ended up on the showcase with him during like covid times i hope people don't get mad at him or me for that but you know it's a long time tablist yeah we're in texas and i think you know because it's a long time. Tableist. Yeah, but we're, we were in Texas and I think, you know, because he's in New York,

he, he was probably itching to do some standup so he flew down to Texas because he's originally from Houston, I believe. We,

we did a showcase together in Dallas and he was super cool. He's like, man, just hit me up sometime, whatever. And,

um, I, I saw him going down to San Antonio on their website, and I hit him up. I was like, hey, man, I saw you're going to be there. If you need a host or a feature, I'm available. I can make my own way down there or whatever. And he was just like, all right, yeah. He was like, I love the hustle.

Come on. So stuff like that always helped me out. But I'm always canceling on one show to go to this one which is not very good but i tried to be even to be self-aware about that though because a lot of people who get a lot of gigs cancel a lot and i don't think i've heard another comedian call themselves out for it like i've seen a lot of comedians who have canceled on us several times then i'll watch them on a podcast and they're like i never cancel it's very important for me to always be there so i don't know i think you're doing good to even be like yeah i cancel i'm i try

to be as loyal as and and committed as i can to whatever i committed to but sometimes like especially back then when i was very hungry very broke very much needed to get wheels turning i just you know i'd be like yo i'm sorry and not to talk down on the comedians who were booking me on their local gigs but a lot of time it was a local gig it was like i'm sorry i can't go to fork worth for 30 people like right i really want to go open at you know houston improv for such and such yeah yeah they got to get mad but you also got to do what's best for you both sides are doing what they got to do. Yeah. But a lot of people stay mad. Really?

Yeah. Not in LA, because everyone wants, like, everyone's kiss ass out here. So we're like, I forgive you. That's nice. Give us a spot later down the road. I forgive you. A lot of people stay mad.

It's funny. I won't name any names. They're like, dude, I'll never forget. Well, I just see people, like, on Facebook, like, still making, like, little slight comments. yeah like those book really yeah wow well that hurts you right because you don't want you don't want people to think you've changed or something like that yeah i want people i want people to know like i didn't i didn't start ignoring you just because i changed like i've always i've always not respected your show you know what i mean like

yeah i would cancel on your show just as much back then as I would today. If I was broke with no options, I'd still cancel on you. I'd still cancel. I want you to know this is integrity, okay? Yeah. Guys, I'm interrupting this podcast to let you know once again that we are brought to you by us.

We are on tour. We are in New York City tonight, Bell House Theater in Brooklyn. We are also going to be in Minneapolis next Thursday at the Varsity Theater. And then we are going to be in Detroit for the weekend. And then we are going to be in Denver in early December, I believe, the 6th through the 8th or 7th through the 9th. Something like that. Get your tickets at ChadJT.com.

The show, I mean, Strider is going to be in Detroit. Strider is going to be in Denver. Make sure you don't miss out on these shows get your tickets at chadjt.com we also have our merch still available custom dyed stoke gear i'm so fired up on it and uh if you want it's a good christmas gift so start thinking about that now because it's four weeks shipping so make sure you get that stoke gear at shop.chadjt.com we're're also brought to you by the legends at Marine Layer. Guys, these guys, I mean, I was a fan of Marine Layer before they even came on board.

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which is something we're upset at. And then we do a babe and a legend of the week, which are just two things we're stoked on. Babe does not necessarily have to be a hot chick. Oftentimes it's not. If you want to do a hot chick, you're more than welcome to. Okay.

And then you can follow our lead on it. So you get kind of an idea of how it goes. All right, let's do it. Chad, what is your beef of the week? My beef of the week is these star. I start these star wars shows so yeah soca my bad dude i think disney like oh there's a lot of hate for disney star wars are you a star wars fan uh i was definitely a fan

of like the original i don't know what's the original anymore episodes four through six are cool episodes one through three are still cool because like they were out when i was like very small right so yeah but then like you know seven eight nine i don't know rogue one is badass but i'm like a basic star wars fan rogue one is badass i totally agree with you like i i'm sort of in the same boat where i was like i was given i was giving disney the benefit of the doubt and then like mandalorian have you seen mandalorian uh yeah first season mandalorian came out i was like that was sick so i was like i was like okay their tv shows are good and i started watching ahsoka which i was like this is gonna be good and it's now it's it's just too

it's too oversaturated it's too disney i've seen too much star wars the novelty's worn off and i was watching it i was like i can't i can't do it and it was too disney whereas it was like i was like i was like fuck this feels like a disney you know fucking naboo you know what i'm saying where it's like the characters talk like they're owned by Disney. Yeah. I was pissed. They're all bootlickers, dude. Dude, yeah. Ahsoka's just fucking.

Nah, she works for fucking Bob Iger. Yeah, just blowing Bob Iger on the side. I was pissed. How else did she get that gig, dude? Dude, you have two lightsabers. The character, not the real life person. Yeah, he's like, you're on your lightsabers. This is going to be sick. So yeah, that's my beef.

Dude, Star Wars. Just give it like five years or something. Just take a break. Take a breather. It's like that Esther Perel quote, right? Which one? Like love grows in space or something like that. Right, yeah, yeah.

Star Wars should go on tour. If you needed some dating advice, you'd be like, hey, why don't you let us miss you a little bit? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like leave the house. Go run some errands. And then let me feel what it's like when you're not around. Exactly.

Go take a sabbatical to Europe, go find yourself and then come back. I only like like Darth Vader too. I don't like these other characters. I'm like, these people suck. Yeah. Do you think that's a nostalgia thing?

Cause you're just like, well, that was the dude I grew up on. Or do you think he's empirically better? I think he's empirically better. All the other ones are like silly. Yeah. And they're just like,

I'm like, fuck you. Total little bitches. Yeah. yeah yeah i've been feeling that way yeah yeah i'm like man maybe i maybe i was more of a fan of certain characters in this universe yeah well like luke you look back on luke and i'm like luke's a fucking bitch i like them and i don't know and like i know a lot of people say that they don't like episode 6 that's return of the Jedi right but that was like dope to me like he like honed being a Jedi he had like the green saber and he was like I'm not gonna fight you father and then he got the lightsaber was like still fighting it was nice to see him finally develop his skill set and not just be a Padawan or a learner you're like alright this guy's ready to actually bring it. Yeah.

I guess my thing with Luke, because I loved Luke as a kid, but then I started. That's why you like Luke. Yeah, but then I started following Mark Hamill on Twitter. And I was like, dude, I can't even. Is he too political? He's so political. That's what I hate about social media.

Sometimes you need the mystery to want to like, to want to be a fan of people yeah and but then when he came back in Mandalorian and he had like all these powers they're like this is how powerful Luke is I was like I was like whoa that kind of blew my mind but then he took off his hood and it was Mark Hamill and I'm like he's still a bitch

yeah dude Mark Ruffalo one time tweeted during the Super Bowl that like he's like Lady Gaga just ripped up the halftime show he's that like, he's like, Lady Gaga just ripped up the halftime show. Dude, what the hell? He's just like, the Hulk's a bitch. Just ripped the house. He's like, Lady Gaga just ripped that show.

I was like, shut up, dude. Dude, if he had just tweeted Hulk smash. He'd be like, oh, I got some really good cucumbers down at the farmer's market. I was like, what the hell are you talking about? Shut your mouth, dude. You didn't find shit. Lady Gaga just ripped the farmer's market. I was like, what the hell are you talking about? Shut your mouth, dude. You didn't find shit. Lady Gaga tripped over. Dude, it was hilarious, dude.

I was like, what are you doing, you cornball? I was like, aren't you like a deep dude? He's like, nah. All right, what is my beef of the week? Bro, I think there's been a reverse prejudice kind of prejudice going on i haven't even waded into this but you know lizza's in big trouble because she was bullying her dancers she was like making them pick up bananas with their butts and stuff which i'm not for hazing i think you should always haze yourself and other people should join in because

they're so inspired by your your your acts of bravery and indecency but the thing i don't like is where people are like shocked that lizzo's a bully like why are you shocked yeah because you don't think a big fat lady can be a bully i've known a lot of big fat ladies who are bullies anyone can be a bully and i almost think it's progress that she's a bully i think yeah stop being a shallow thinker look deeper within people look at their soul yeah she's got a bully soul of course she does she's a superstar you think any of these superstars aren't bullies?

They all got that in them. You know how much, like, people think I'm, like, nice and mellow. You know how much of a bully I am? I bet, bro. My buddy in here,

he's sitting on the floor. He's crisscross applesauce. Yeah, we got a chair he can sit in right here. No, don't sit in that chair, Jaime. You see what I just did there? Yeah.

Bully. And, dude, your voice, it felt real there. I felt it oh i don't know i'm such an asshole but i mean we're like best friends don't get me wrong but i'm definitely the asshole you know what i mean but you don't make him pick up like stuff with his butt depends i mean does he bully you can i say never but even for you to have the self-awareness to acknowledge that you do make him pick stuff up with his butt because i've seen a

lot of people who make their people pick up stuff with their butt who won't talk about it on podcast the fact that you will talk about it he records like all our sets oh he does and he does like photography and stuff which by the way he told you told me not how you told me not to forget the backpack with your cameras i forgot it i was so worried about what t-shirt i was gonna wear and i ended up just wearing the one i've been wearing all day but so anytime we're like running late i'll have us all out like we'll go eat we'll go to the mall just buy random stuff or whatever and then we get back to the hotel we just all need to get ready so fast before the show and even though he's the guy who should be there before us to set up the cameras and do what he

needs to do i still like shower and iron all my stuff first and then like i give him 15 minutes to use the shower we We get double queen rooms. So there's two guys. We'll get another room. Me and this dude will bunk together. And he just has to be so fast. And then we'll all be in the car, the Uber, whatever. And I'll be texting him like, dude, hurry the fuck up.

Why do you do this? He's just living his best life the best way he can. Right. But he shouldn't have joined the tour if he wasn't ready for it, you know? No, there's a buy-in. Yeah, you'll be all right. There's an exchange. Dude, let me double-tack this beef real quick.

I'm sorry. I got extra beef, too, with people who... There's a fitness guy online who calls out bullies. I can look in his eyes, and I can tell he was a bully when he was younger. He's doing this out of guilt. I don't even know if it's guilt. I think he's doing it out of like market opportunity i think he knows it's good business to hate bullies but anybody who's on screen being like i don't like bullies they

like bullying people they just know they can't bully people on camera so they just they go the other way and they bully the bullies but it's the same thing they want to bully i can see it in you i know it i know i know i know because i'm a bully i know speaking of myself speaking of market or you know capitalizing on that uh jaime also started doing stand-up so if you guys want to follow what's your thing change it uh jg underscore visuals jg underscore visuals check him out it's worth it jaime you hang in there it's funny he's been doing stand-up and I think some of the other guys on the show or they're happy for him but they're also a little mad today he's kind of like a real natural at it

oh yeah like five sets and they've all just been like maybe one of them was like all right but they're just been murdering and he's just like a random story that's awesome man sorry sorry there's that's good tension though right everybody will get better because there's that competitive yeah we we help him do like do the set or like right he listens to like maybe half of what he say which kind of gets us mad and then we start yelling at him but yeah this dude's like everybody we grew up with because we grew up together we grew up on the same block everybody we grew up with would always say like yo we thought he was gonna be the comedian not you like uh and so we finally got him to like do it he didn't really want to at first we were like yeah we you know we already told the sound guy like you're

doing five minutes or yeah yeah and he does really well so follow him on instagram hopefully he'll post clips soon yeah get some clips yeah he did he did he did shows one of his clips he's like should we post that and we're just like nah not that one not just yet not just yet but let's get in there do you have a beef of the week my beef of the week because i've been in bed a lot watching movies um is when a girl you're with or you know if you're a girl maybe a guy with your date your significant other does not respect the film that you're watching and sometimes it could be a very dramatic or important part which is your favorite part of the movie and then they want to start kissing or they want to start talking about something and i'm like what are you doing

the movie and then they want to start kissing or they want to start talking about something and i'm like what are you doing like you know this is like i don't know maybe we're watching like i was watching batman and it's it's the scene where he gets to like penguins club it's robert pence's batman sure he starts fighting these guys i'm like you think i don't want to watch batman fight you don't like kissing that much i do i love a good kiss but like i feel so good in the relationship like this is this is this is a good person. But, like, I feel so good in the relationship. Like, this is a good person I'm with. I don't have any fear that they're just going to leave me. So, I'm not like, let me get all the kisses in while I can.

Right. I'm like, if it's between you and Batman whooping some ass, like, I want to watch this. Because Robert Pattinson's Batman, I think, in the movie, he's been Batman for, like, two years. He's fairly new at it. Yeah. I'm going to watch the next one, and I'm going to compare compare the fight scenes i'm like yo he's is he more experienced is he more tired is he picking up new techniques yeah is the suit more advanced you know what i mean like what what was this batman compared to this batman and she's not letting me do my homework

you want to chart the progress yeah and also if you act like you don't want the kisses then she's like what you like batman more than me sometimes they put you in that position you act like you don't want the kisses, then she's like, what, you like Batman more than me? Sometimes. And they put you in that position, and you're like, well, why are you putting me in this position? There's that scene. What's the actress's name who plays Catwoman? Zoe Kravitz. Zoe Kravitz.

There's a scene where she kisses Robert Pattinson. Yeah. And he just doesn't even move his lips or anything. Yeah, he never sells it. That was so me in that moment. That was so me. Oh, wow. That's me in any moment that any girl me that's me that's me in any

moment that any girl interrupts any part of a movie that i really really like you're a stoic lover but it's because you're on a mission yeah i'm watching legends of the fall yeah oh i'm like bro they're reading the letters i can't read the letters like i want i'm trying to hear this i want to hear our lip smacking right now you can no more blame you for loving movies than you can blame water that gets in a rock and freezes and breaks it. Yeah. That's the gal in Legends of the Fall who fucks all the brothers. There's putting millions of dollars into these movies.

Do you ever watch Legends of the Fall and think, I'd love to cut that hair? Mm-mm. I'm just like, man, I will never touch that hair, Brad Pitt. Yeah. You do you, bruh. I heard scissors can't even cut it. I heard that, too, dude. They always break.

He just, like, kind of slowly, gently pulls off what he wants to come off. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then he tosses it away. And then it lands on dirt and grass grows there. I heard he just puts his hair in lava and just burns off the parts he doesn't want. He can touch the lava. Damn. Give me some of that.

I heard he comes marble. Oh. Like when he busts a marble statue. Yeah. Yeah, when he's got to escape from a place, that comes in handy. He's like, baby, don't do it. He goes down the steps. Yeah, he's like, you understand like half of Greece, I'm responsible for that.

But I can't impregnate you. Athens is Greek for Brad Pitt. Is Athens in Greece? It is, right? Yeah. Yeah. And I think your translation's spot on. Nice. Nailed it. Chad, who's your babe of the week? is increased yeah yeah and i think your translation's spot on yeah nice nailed it

chad who's your babe of the week uh my baby dude you told me to watch this no hard feelings yeah it's great right it's so fun this is movie jennifer lawrence jennifer lawrence it's a comedy that came out in like july something like that yeah a month or two ago it's hilarious it's really funny i loved it how good was the kid dude i gotta watch the sex scene yeah i was dying to rewind it i was laughing so hard and he rips like you kind of believe that they they have really good chemistry i mean she's great she's always good and her commitment's awesome yeah but when he does the fucking he i don't want to spoil too much but he plays the piano at one point i was like oh my god i uh i watched it and like i haven't watched i haven't watched a new comedy movie it like, in recent memory where I laughed that hard.

You know, it was, like, one of those, like, I'll watch, like, old ones and I'll laugh hard. But, like, I haven't, like, had that kind of a reaction to a comedy movie in a long time. And so it was, like, it was awesome. It was slapping. Yeah. Yeah. I got to check that out. What is it called?

No Hard Feelings. No Hard Feelings. Dude, it's really good. No Hard Feelings. Dude, it's really good. No Hard Feelings. Okay. Because my girlfriend, she loves thrillers and horror. And I'm like, I love them too. But I'm also like, it's kind of like the wrong kind of energy to go to bed with.

You know what I mean? I can see that. No, if you watch crazy adrenaline-inducing shit before you go to bed, you're going to sleep like that. There's residual. I watched Midsommar. Have you watched Midsommar? Nah.

Is that awesome? Yeah. Weirdest movie. Awesome. It stuck with me. Ari Aster, he's a genius, but it's the kind of horror movie that sticks with you where you just can't stop thinking about it. Here's the brilliant one-line celibate. It's's a horror movie but it's all during the day it's

very bright the entire time and he does these weird shots where instead of like um like if they were shooting this it'd be like this right it's a medium shot it's like waist up then you get a couple close-ups he shoots people's entire bodies in the frame it's very like disorienting you're like what the fuck's going on i'm gonna check that out it's creepy it's creepy seven scared the shit out of me that's a scary movie it has that kind of effect of like saying for me it's seven where it's like you just think about it i'm like these people are out there it's gonna get in your it's gonna get in you like it's gonna be a worm just getting in you oh yeah fight club scares me a little bit too yeah yeah because you know you gotta kick some ass yeah i'm like yo am i gonna blow up credit card headquarter buildings like what if i'm schizophrenic if you want to do it i worry about

that sometimes you worry about it yeah i'll be like dude what if i'm schizophrenic it's about to kick in yeah i've eaten so many mushrooms to the point where i hear voices and i'm just like do i have schizophrenia and then it's just like magnified when i'm this high or is it just i'm tripping on mushrooms i think that's anxiety. This is anxiety. Yeah, I think anxious people think they're schizophrenic. I think schizophrenic people think they're killing it. That makes me feel a lot better. I think that's the big switch. Dude, my babe of the week is Vontae Davis.

I think I'm saying that correct. I watched this clip the other day of LaShawn McCoy talking to another NFL player, I forget, on Instagram Live. It's an old clip. But basically, Vontae Davis, two-time Pro Bowler. He's playing for the Buffalo Bills. He's probably 30. They're getting their asses kicked.

At halftime, he just puts his pads away and walks off. He quit halfway through the second game of the season. Really? Why? And I guess he has a high-pitched voice. He just said, young bucks, when it's over, it's over. I don't have it anymore. He just walked away.

But he's so self-aware, he knows. Yeah. I'm not going to force this. The guy said he had a big play before half. He put his fist up, got the whole crowd pumped up, big stop on third down. But then he came to the sideline and just said, I'm done. Really? And just walked, dude.

Dude, I fucking respect that so much, man. Me too. I hope I have that in me. That if I just don't want to do stand-up comedy just 15 minutes into a set, I'm like, I'm good. That's such like a Forrest Gump. Like, all gump like i'm gonna turn back now yeah exactly just understanding yourself so well that you don't need most people like they want to leave a relationship they stay in it for like two years being like do i really want to leave do i want to leave this guy this thing he was in love with and he was just like it done it doesn't make you yeah you don't feel it you

don't feel it don't force it you can't funk, you know? And being willing to give up the paycheck and the celebrity and all the stuff that comes with it. He was like, no, I'm good with who I am. I'll be something else for a while. Who's your baby of the week? My baby of the week, because I'm like always in and out of keeping up with basketball. But I keep up when I can. My baby of the week has to be Anthony Edwards. And I think right now, they're they're they're

playing what is that like the fiba yeah we just kicked italy's ass after losing to lithuania we oh shit i don't even know we had lost to lithuania yeah they had a bunch of seven footers they beat us up inside we'll hit them in the nuts later when it really counts yeah for sure but anthony edwards been killing it man i've been watching all his videos and stuff i don't know why i get a lot of i'm always afraid to open up my YouTube in front of girls. It's because I'm afraid they'll see my recommended. But I'm getting so many Austin – what's his name? Austin Reeves.

Yeah, he's cool. They're like, yo, Austin Reeves highlights why he's a force to be reckoned with on stuff. Don't get me wrong. I'm a fan of that dude, right? I'm not even like a huge Lakers fan, but that dude kicks ass. But there's so many recommended. I was like, I'm not this into Austin. And if my girls there.

They're pushing him hard right now. Yeah. I'm like, I swear to God, I'm not this into Austin. So I had to balance it out. I've been looking at more Anthony Edwards videos. Well, because he was getting, people thought he sucked because he was white. And now that people know he's good, he's getting an extra push. Because we haven't had a good white two guard.

Dude. Sounds like draws in petrovic when white dude when white american dudes are kicking ass in basketball that shit is cool i don't know if it's just me from like texas or something that i just i respect the white man like when there's good white wide receivers or dbs or dancers wade robson i think we all get a little hyped up we're like hey yeah anything is possible we get a lot of players from europe that come over here and kick ass. You know what I mean? Like Luka. I'm a big Luka fan.

I mean, I'm from Dallas. You know what I mean? But, yeah, Austin is like an American dude. He's from like Arkansas or something. Like tiny town population. Like, I don't know, 1,000 people or something. 2,000 people. And it's cool to watch him kick ass.

But, you know, just watching a lot of the games that we've been, like the highlight games that we've been playing overseas, and then just watching recap games or highlight videos from the games from the previous seasons, I'm like, damn, fucking Anthony Edwards is kicking ass. He's a dude, man. He's like the alpha of the Olympic, or the FIBA team. He's like, this is my team. And then he just seems like he has a dog in him.

He loves competition. You can just feel it when you see him on the court you're like that dude's a badass yeah i'm i'm yeah that's my baby of the week i love watching that dude i hope i get to see him live i've never been to a live basketball game but i'm gonna go whenever he plays the maps i'm gonna go you never been to a live basketball game never i had tickets to go to my first game ever uh like last year and i don't know what girl i was dating that i don't know if she got like sick or she just wasn't feeling or something and i i stayed back and i will never make that mistake again i swear to i swear to christ buddha allah whoever's out there like i swear to you i'm never gonna put a woman before a basketball game ever again ever again

man is that is that your favorite sport b-ball i think yeah i think so i like basketball i like boxing but basketball is i don't know it's fun to watch i feel like the mavericks will have you as like a guest of honor at the game or something like that they they sent me um like a piece of the floor like the wood wow and they sent me like like shirts and jackets and stuff yeah you can hang with mark cuban's gonna love you yeah i'm sure he's cool i hope hope he lets me. I've heard good things. I've heard fun stories about him.

I have, too. I like that he gets, I think people try to sue him every day. Does he really? Yeah. That's hilarious. I heard people say that. He doesn't stop living. He stays out there.

He's still doing his thing. Yeah. I think that happens to quite a few billionaires. People are trying to get a check out of you. Yeah, don't let them change you. He won't let it happen. He's like, no, I'm Mark Cuban. I'm out here breaking bottles, sucking titties.

Hell yeah. Titties are nice. Does he suck titties? Dude, you can't not suck titties. That's awesome. But I was just like, is that his big thing? He's like, I won't eat ass, but I'll suck. I don't know the guy.

I haven't even heard nothing, but I know the guy. He does that. So backstage at Shark Tank, he's just. He's in the dressing room. Mark, when he's on set in five, he's like, oh. I can see it. You walk in and he's like, you want to know why I became a billionaire? Start singing some tunes.

I did it for you. Then one of the proposals is like the fake tits to suck on. Mark's like, oh, let me see this. Do you want a sample? He's like, oh, let me see this. Do you want a sample? He's like, yeah, those feel real. He's like, no, I've sucked a lot of tits. It doesn't hold up for that reason. You guys better not mess up my deal with the Mavs.

Yeah, sorry, we can cut all this. I don't know what's going to happen. Sorry, sorry, sorry. In all seriousness, though, I don't know what's like. My management has talked to the Mavs, and they sent me cool stuff but i don't know like how much they like me or don't like me they love you yeah yeah i'd hope so i hope they like me are you from you're from dallas right yeah i'm from dallas i'm gonna love them either way i don't need them to give me like free tickets or anything like i'm gonna go like i see good things with i see a good partnership in the

future yeah yeah as far as like as far as'm concerned, maybe I should just say this. My views on titties do not necessarily represent those of the Dallas Mavericks or Mark Cuban. Yeah, yeah. You're a pro. That's a pro move right there. That's how you handle it. We can cut this, too. But if you really want to get on his good side.

I think this is fine, yeah. Send him a photo of you sucking titties. Just looking at the camera. He's like, hello? I think my girl will let me cheat just because I'm not going to send my girlfriend's titties. Yeah, you got to be respectful. That's really smart. This is Hollywood.

I hired an actress. Yeah, yeah. You could even be a guy with... I will also be acting. Yeah, you could be a guy. Yeah. I think I'm a good actor. Hell yeah. Chad, who's your legend of the week

uh dude it's my xbox I um I put it in the garage so you're saying goodbye I'm saying goodbye yeah do you play video games

you put your xbox in the garage I put it in the garage yeah why I don't really play video games but even that still kind of hurts a bit you know right

it's like I'm not really a dog person but if I found out you gave me your dog I'd be like oh damn doesn't it need a home yeah you hit me your dog away, I'd be like, oh. Damn. Doesn't it need a home? Yeah. You hit me in my head.

Doesn't it need somebody to love it? Yeah. It's like if your indoor dog just got put outside. But here's the thing. Yeah, did it do anything wrong? Here's the thing. Did it stop working? Was the X button broken?

We're about to hear the speech his girlfriend gave him. He's going to make it into his own. It was gathering dust. Ah. And it was glitching on me. We've just been growing apart for a while. I would try to turn it on. You try to make, you know,

try to revive that old spark you had. I just didn't feel it. It's like, what were you saying? What was his name? The guy who quit mid- uh vontaze david yeah we sometimes got a vontaze davis this yeah whatever his name is exactly what i'm like about to vontaze david you yeah and but you're honoring it now i'm honoring it now i had good times it could be back i mean i, I love teabagging.

I just never, I just hadn't played video games in like six months. What Xbox is it? One, Xbox One. Yeah. I'll buy it off you, dude. Do you want it? Yeah, I'll buy it, yeah. Wait, I don't know if I want to give it away now.

Nah, that's cool. Now that this is what happens with relations, it's like, oh, now someone else wants you. Now I don't want if i want to give it away now ah all right now that's cool now that some this is what happens with relations it's like oh no someone else wants you now i don't want to let you go you know but maybe i should i mean you're about a shotgun this horse now i want to now i want to race it yeah don't you want it yeah it seems like you would make it happy so i wouldn't he'd play all sorts of games on it oh he'd disrespect the fuck out of that i'd play i'd play it once a month it's more than i do yeah i don't know but but you also said it's glitching yeah no no actually what you said earlier i'll make a decent money now i could just go buy me a new one it's your new one i'll neglect it on my own you hear kevin hart he gets a new xbox in every town he goes to what is that i heard big j okerson said

on a podcast like years ago that bobby lee does that too yeah they get a new one in every town that is insane it's crazy i wonder what happens to all those extra parts i could understand like a nintendo switch you know i don't gotta like plug it to the wall and the tv every time i could just like but i imagine they probably got somebody who'll do it for them right yeah i've never met bobby xbox is easy too oh he's a cool guy yeah i bet you he i bet even if he does do that i bet you he's like still like humble enough grounded enough to plug in his own xbox kevin hart i'm sure somebody's plugging that thing up he can't risk it yeah somebody's signing into that microsoft id for him he could tear his acl or something if you got the offer for someone to plug it in for you they're like hey i can be that guy would you be tempted nah i wouldn't do it because they're not going to know how I want my Xbox or my PlayStation laid out.

Different people lay it out differently. Some people put it sideways. Some people put it there. Also, it's probably more fun when you plugged it in. You know what I mean? Yeah. You plug it in and then you turn it on and then you hear whatever that opening music is. Yeah.

If you turn on Xbox, you're Xbox, but you know you didn't plug it in that's gotta feel it doesn't feel as juicy as cool you ever uh you ever figure out why your car won't start and then you get it to start like oh man it feels so cool i mean doing the job yourself is always going to be better than having someone else do it for you yeah you guys like you know if you're trying to give your girl an orgasm you wouldn't be like hey buddy can you you know go down on her those are the moments that that keep you like grounded i feel like keep you from becoming too much of like a bitch yeah you know a real person yeah those are the moments that keep you a real person you got to stay connected with your fingers and your hands to what's around you sometimes you got to go in the kitchen and like

cook your own breakfast i only recently started doing this it's changed me as a person yeah yeah i just started cooking like a year ago does this give you more patience you stop that stop signs like all the way now i also feel like more of a real human being like if like like if i if i stand up for myself i'm like look i made myself noodles last night you're talking to a man i put my own sauce on there so yeah we're looking eye to eye right now feels good i think whenever like i cook for myself or like i get my car started like i hook up my terminals um it gives me also an excuse to be lazy and other stuff like paperwork like if i go to the doctor and they're like fill this out i'm like no i you don't understand i started my car today

dude that's pretty hilarious just hanging back to the doctor be like no i'm good you guys what's the point of doing that write it down and i work with these all right we got um my legend of the week is uh taylor swift i mean she's just crushing on a level this is coming out in like a month or two but she's crushing on a level we've never seen before I think honestly dude she can change the world like if she came out with an all too well song about Vladimir Putin disrespecting her oh dude Vladimir would be dead it'd be over for Putin it'd be over and he wouldn't even have to be committing war crimes he would just have to drop her hand at a dinner party boom army mobilized for sure for sure she has the power and the fact that she hasn't used it for more selfish reasons i respect that a little restraint who's your legend of the week uh this

one might be a little controversial fidel castro oh nice i'm watching these like documentaries on cuba and stuff and he he's always speaking so smooth. And when he needs to be tough, he's tough or whatever, on camera. I don't know who he was behind camera, right? But that's why he's my legend of the week, because I don't know when he's lying or not. I don't know if that speaks to my level of intelligence. I don't know if I'm really dumb or just the average human. But yeah, I'm watching these videos on him.

And I'm like, this guy's smooth. He's a smooth talker as far as the footage that I've seen. And I'm like, bro, I don't know how evil you were. I don't know if you were just supreme evil or if you were just genuine honest in all these interviews. But the fact that I can't fucking figure you out like respect bro that's something like when someone has such a bad reputation too and then they take you by surprise you're like wait yeah that's how you sound yeah it's like david yeah david koresh that cult leader in waco back in like the 90s i listen to phone conversations of him arguing

with the fbi and he's like if you come after me and my family, I will beat you to the door every time. I was like, he's a cool guy. I was on board with him. They're in there. He's sleeping with everybody's wife, sister, daughter. But I listened to it. I was like, I get it. I kind of follow him into battle.

He's got that charisma. People with silver tongues, bro. I'm a simpleton. I'm flabbergasted. It's music to the ears. Yeah. Speaking of which, let's end with this. This is a new one. I'm throwing it atasted it's music to the ears yeah speaking of which let's end with this

this is a new one I'm throwing it at you guys oh yeah yeah song of the week song of the week oh I know well this is this is kind of the summer jam

but you know what I gotta pay homage to it now it's gonna be it goes na na na by Peggy Goo you guys know peggy goo no she's this like i don't know what kind of people always say like they're like house deep house she's a dj

from korea oh yeah she's hot i like djs yeah and she's uh she looks like she brings it if you follow her on instagram it's a fun follow because it's just like she's at like raves in Europe all the time. Oh, that's cool. What a life. Good lifestyle. So yeah, check out It Goes Na Na Na by Peggy Gu. I want to look up Peggy Gu right now. I shouldn't look her up on Instagram. I'll forget. If she's on Instagram,

I'll forget. YouTube. I'm more on YouTube than anything. Are you primarily YouTube? Yeah. I love YouTube, man. YouTube is awesome. Are you primarily YouTube? Yeah. I love YouTube, man. YouTube is awesome. I watch it all the time. I start watching her videos now. Dude, I'm going with White Horse by Chris Stapleton.

Dude, nice. There's a, like, I don't know, when it goes into the second verse, there's a thing that happens with the music when it drops from the chorus back into the verse where I'm like, magic. Yeah. I'm like, you just did something to me and I'll forever be grateful you got a song of the week um I like that I like that song it popped up on my like recommended for you and you know what I'm glad with the recommendation uh I like that song uh I wish I knew I wish I knew you wanted me. You know that one? Yeah, that's a banger.

Yeah. I got it. I got it on here. What is it? I don't know. I don't know the dude's name. No, it's Steve Lacey, Bad Habit. Bad Habit, yeah.

Steve Lacey, yeah. Oh, yeah. That song is very cool. Yeah. That's such like a cool like. That's the one, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's that one for sure.

Let me put it on real quick. I wish I knew you wanted me. I wish I knew. Oh, yeah. I wish I knew. Dude, that's a cool song yeah i don't even like like smoking weed anymore because that song is a high enough for me nice yeah it's weed yeah that's audio weed yeah that's cool dude uh what's the name of your special and uh the name of my special is cowabunga for real that's a great name that's such a cool name yeah yeah i love that i like that name how'd you come up with that so i was just you know i was like cowabunga that's right that is how it comes out dude if i saw i'm already a fan but if i was like if i didn't know you and I saw that on Netflix just cowabunga

I would for sure click on that cowabunga you know yeah I don't I don't know I think that a lot of my jokes don't have like a whole deep meaning it's just to feel good you know let's just feel good and I feel like that's like the essence of cowabunga it's an overused phrase now not what not cowabunga but when people like that's a vibe that is a vibe if i see that like you're saying i'm like okay i want to hang out in cowabunga for a while yeah cowabunga don't take it too serious just feel good that's awesome yeah make sure you visit cowabunga listeners yeah cowabunga releasing wait by the time they see this it'll be out maybe i don't know probably the week before like a week before yeah either way it comes out halloween 2023 i don't know. Probably the week before. Like a week before. Either way, it comes out Halloween 2023.

I don't know when you're hearing this. Maybe you hear it after. Maybe you hear it before. But Netflix, please check me out on Netflix. Ralph Barbosa, Cowabunga. Thank you so much, man. Oh, sorry. You're on tour too?

Yeah. Where can they check out all that other stuff? Your tour and all that. So my TikTok and Instagram is just Ralph Barbosa 03. I wasn't born in 2003. People keep me that i can see the confusion i just like the number three a lot yeah um and there's links to my website on there as was you know my clips but the website is just barbosacomedy.com uh but if you go to my instagram or tick tock there should be like a flyer with like the remaining show dates for the for the rest of this year and anything I'll book for next year.

And there's usually links to all the tickets. So and I like going to as many cities as I can. So hopefully I'll be in your city. However, small or big. Sweet, man. Well, thank you so much. Thank you guys for having me. I had a great time chatting with you, dude.

Hell yeah. Let's go eat some butt. Cowabunga butt cowabunga cowabunga if you need advice these guys are really nice and you wanna know what to do

where to go when you need someone to guide you to have the throne beside you Go free Go free Let's go deep I'm going deep I'm going deep