Going Deep with Chad and JT - EP 332 - ALEC FLYNN aka Big AL

Episode Date: March 6, 2024

Today we are joined by a young and upcoming comic, Alec Flynn. Big Al is from the east coast and just moved to LA  to pursue comedy. We talk Boston vs LA, The best brawls in sports and how all he wanted growing up was to play hockey at high level. He invites us to roller hockey but only if we play tarps off, should we go? We also take some calls. A nice lady needs help with a f.w.b. situation and a man calls in from an album release party in Bozeman. This ep was so fun we decided to take it over 2 hrs. IF YOU ENJOYED, Hit that like and drop a comment!  Check out Big AL Here:https://www.instagram.com/bigalflynn/?hl=en Grab some of our dank merch here:https://shop.chadandjt.com/ Come see us on Tour! We just added 20 NEW CITIES!!!! - TIX HERE: http://www.chadandjt.com Call us, leave a 60 sec voicemail with your issue or question: 323-418-2019or write in to chadgoesdeeppodccast(at)gmail.com(Start with where you're from and name for best possible advice) Check out the reddit for some dank convo: https://www.reddit.com/r/ChadGoesDeep/ Episode Sponsored by:Home Chef - Get 18 Meals free plus free shipping when you go to https://www.homechef.com/godeep  Use Joy Mode- Get 20% off plus free shipping when you use code GODEEP at checkout. https://www.usejoymode.com

Guys, welcome to the podcast. It's gonna be a sick podcast. We got Alec Flynn here. Are you on camera? There he is. There he is. Beauty. Dude, you got me saying beauty now. This is turning into a Boston podcast. That's what it's about. That's what it's about, dude. First off, we got the perineum sunning day. We're gonna break the world record for b-hole sunning. That's gonna be on March 24th at Blacks beach san diego at noon we want to see you there we're making a sign up thing on our website so go up there reserve and uh we want to see you sunning also we are brought to you by the legends at home chef what up home chef now that the novelty of the new year has dwindled down how

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Chad and JT.com for tickets. Let's start the show. What's your dream? Going deep. Chad and JT. Slap a pickle on my ass and call me Frank. What's stokers of stoke nation this is chad kroger coming in with the going deep with chad jt podcast i'm here with my compadre sean thomas what up stoke boom dude just slamming the magic mine i need it bro i haven't done caffeine in a couple

days really yeah are you taking a break i'm trying to get off. Interesting. I was too hyped. It was like nine o'clock at night the other day. My brain was just running and I was like crying, listening to Hamilton and writing poetry. And I was like, this is fun, but a bit extra. Wow. And then so my genius girlfriend was like, how many coffees you have today?

I was like four. Damn. She's like, let's slow it down. People, when they get off it, they say they feel amazing. I've been sleeping and kind of crabby, but fuck yeah, I'm going to do it. We're here with the legend, Alec Flynn. Big Al. Dude, what's up, dude? What the fucking lads?

How are we? Let's go, bro. Dude, you're cranking an Easy Rider. Yeah, thank you, dude. I saw the six pack on the fucking... I wasn't leaving you hanging there. Dude, I held it out. Don't worry about it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hey, I've been there. You ever have one of the... One of my favorite moves is to hold it out and then go. All right. Well, you know what he does? Show him what you do. Go for the pound?

Squid. Does that annoy you? No, I like that a lot. How about this one? High five. Who's gay? Oh, dude. I was expecting the turkey.

That's actually how I came out to my friends. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm gay. I've never had anyone come out to me. No one's ever. Oh, I had a kid come out to me in high school. Really? Yeah, we were just hanging around at the, shout out Kevin Koopalos, if you're listening.

You're the man. I think he's in New York. But I think, should I not have said his name? No, I don't know. The whole thing just made me laugh. Yeah. I don't know which part is which. I went to an all-boy Catholic high school, so. Oh, nice, dude.

Well, we were all just sitting around the lunch table, and I was like, I think he was talking about, like, something, and then I was like, what do you mean, Kevin? He goes, it means that I'm gay. I like men. And I was like, no way. That's crazy. Like, that rules. That's nice.

And we're, like, sophomores in high school. I'm like, dude i have a gay friend this is cool yeah but the best part about going all boy catholic high school is like nobody i don't think you really got bullied for shit like that because i think everybody was so jacked up on jesuit uh principles and like unfiltered testosterone that if there was any bullying going around there'd be you'd have about 50 guys just grinding their teeth ready to pounce on the bully right you almost wanted there to be a bully so you could kick his ass yes and like and like be deputized to enforce morality exactly we were all it was a

bunch of vigilantes essentially i i understand that i've had friends be like hey this like guy is like terrorizing me we might have to kick his ass and you're like nice like we have a reason to be assholes we have a reason to get angry yeah we have a reason to be angry that's gonna be nice it's just a bunch of just can you a picture an entire school of adolescent teenage boys from boston usually irish just ready at the drop of a hat to throw fucking knuckles yeah i mean i still party with my boys but it's like a once a year thing right i like to get fired up dude you do you seem permanently fired up i like to get jacked i like to get geeked fucking do a couple push-ups punch a tv how many push-ups can you do right now you don't have to do them but how many could you do probably like 40 you know what that's pretty

modest i think you could do more i don't know i think you can do 40 how many push-ups can you do at one time yeah in a row 45 oh not to flex on you dude hey up here who's gay oh fuck push-up off with one of your boys oh off of one of them like like when's the last time you guys went like mano a mano so you could do more push-ups i don't know but there was a time in my life not too long ago when there if there was five beers consumed between the lads it just immediately turned into oklahoma drills in whatever vestibule we were in whether it's a you know a shotgun house or some sort of bar setting yeah three fingers are going down on the ground and one man's coming out on top that's awesome it was crazy i mean i didn't win most of them but i'll tell you what i definitely got concussed are all your buddies hockey guys most of them yeah yeah

so we um speaking of hockey we this past november me and all my friends we organized a team called the boston bison to go up and play the jackson hole moose in jackson hole wyoming i used to watch something when i was a kid yeah you're jackson hole yeah you're a jackson hole guy you're a native no not actually i'm a tourist oh that goes there a lot all right we'll just follow along okay let's play along no they get pissed if they would have heard me say native the the natives would have been like, what would have happened? You would have got an elk head at your doorstep? I don't know. Next time I'm at the mangy moose, they would have been like,

we heard you claim what you're not. And I would have been in big trouble. Sorry, sorry, sorry. It derailed us. But yeah, I mean, we went out and we played the Jackson Hole Moose, who are like pretty much a semi-professional hockey team. They take any and all challengers from across the country. So if you guys

today were like hey chad we are sponsoring we want the best hockey players in all southern california you can call up these guys and go hey like let's set a date we'll do a weekend home at home in jackson hole and that's what we did and it was the most electric thing i've been a part of wow so i coached because i didn't have any of my hockey gear i was taking so many mushrooms every i was like mushed out of my mind on the bench i had the most electric outfit you've ever seen yeah and uh but this is like they get like so if you look at the pictures they get like thousands of fans probably like a thousand fans each night. But and then like the fights. And these guys are no joke either.

Like they're good hockey players. So like the hockey is pretty good. And it's it's dude, it's an event. Did you play? I didn't play, but all my friends played. So like and we got like jerseys. We got socks. I was coaching.

How did you guys play? We did all right. We lost five to three the first game and then lost in overtime six to five. That's not bad. Second game. Dude, it was a tough game. We got a couple scraps in too. But the best part was afterwards, we just went out to the fucking million dollar cowboy

bar, closed it down. And then we go from the cowboy bar back to their locker room at the rink. And just like they have this whole sick locker room set up. We're there until like – They play at Snow King? Yeah, at Snow King Arena. And we would be there until 4 in the morning and just then go back to the motel.

And yeah, it was awesome. One of the best weekends. Where did you guys stay? At the Worst? No, it was awesome. We stayed at – They hooked us up with like a nice like motel near downtown no worst is a old hotel there oh the worst i was like no it was the best yeah like that oh it's nice i think it's the oldest uh spot Jackson. Search up. Oh, no. My family's going to kill me for getting this wrong. Dude, the wort.

The wort? Yeah, click that. Dude, you are a hack. Oh, dude, I'm a hack. You're a Howley, bro. You're a Jackson Hole Howley. Wow. I was just nervous.

Do you snowboard, ski? I ski when I need to. You're not that that into it i don't get the guys that are into it yeah no you're just going down dude talk to jake i'm just it's like it's cool i like the weekend i like the ski weekend you you like the vibe the part the opera ski yeah exactly yeah we so i lived in denver the past four years and that was i would be like all right i'll go if we got a house right i'm not like the guy that's the week the weekend warrior where it's bomb out bomb back bomb out bomb back like you i get bored you like the hang you don't like the the driving there for the day and then driving back. Like just doing the activity.

You want the whole. Yeah. You want the apres ski, the experience, the fondue. I've had a couple experiences where it's sketchy. How so? It's just, you just get like, you know, you have a couple apres drinks afterwards. Oh, then you're driving back? The snow starts rolling in and then you're driving back on I-70.

Yeah. And it's, you know you're asking yourself you know do i make the call yeah do i make the call and say mom all those magazines i need you to burn them right now dude i uh that's a sketchy road too from denver to is it yeah it's i i went there once when i was like 12 but it's like windy i think it's very windy and i used to back when i was on the weed i would uh take edibles and then drive up there and be like oh enjoy the scenery cut to me just like hunched over my fucking jeep grand cherokee just like hitting the plate riding the brake like a maniac yeah the eisenhower tunnel once you pass i would go through the eisenhower tunnel and uh just feel all my nerve leaving my body i mean i i got so i

grew up like skiing with my dad so it was very kind of surgical strike you go in you ski hard and then you go out no maybe a hot chocolate right and then i went with my college friends film afterwards yeah i'm filming i do review yeah i'm like hitting the mogul he's like you're not absorbing it with your knees i'm like six i don't have cartilage yeah i'm just bouncing over it yeah he made me do sugar bears i hated it which is like the kids ski thing i was like you have to dude i never like i never liked that shit i was like yeah because it's not cool it wasn't yeah yeah but that's okay you're six nothing's cool no i knew it was cool i know you did but anyways anyway so uh power rangers cool sugar bears lame power rangers i got my ski helmet to match the white power ranger

because i thought he was the coolest he had flow yeah why didn't you go in saying i'll be the coolest kid in sugar bears i didn't have the confidence to say that i knew it but i just couldn't say it that's a tough one you guys need a confidence boost on the spot making cool what's uncool at that age is a tough move yeah dude like even i felt so lame that luke skywalker was my favorite when i found out right han solo was cooler i thought luke was cooler and when i found out right han solo was cooler i thought luke was cooler and then my friends were like dude han's cooler i thought the same too about luke i think it's just the power of persuasion at that age when i didn't know bad boys were cooler than good boys yet right yeah nobody does at that early you don't know

yeah but you just gotta like i remember the coolest kid in my class when i was seven six was just the kid that was the best at lying right because i just would i believe everything he said he'd be like yeah this weekend i took my dirt bike out i'm like you have a dirt bike he's like yeah i did two flips i was like that's so cool i wish i had a dirt bike and then you don't realize like oh then you guys like a year later like oh he was making that up it's all bullshit i didn't know but at the time you're like he has a dirt bike i knew a 13 year old alex i can't say his last name because he's a real dude but uh he did dirt bike he was ripped he threw backflips and he had a fat cock

he was the dude he lived next door to brooks and he'd come over all the time and hang out with us and just be the man when did you learn about his cock he pulled it he got he got a bj one time when we're all hanging out amazing and then we just all hung out and then afterwards he's like oh dude like my dick's huge and we were like yeah it is and then and then he became a drug guy he burned his house down really yeah he pulled it out why did he pull he pulled it out just like take a sample put it under a microscope i don't know why dude yeah studied for medical research it just felt like that would happen a lot dicks would just come out i think they want to come out i want to be seen by their by their peers quick aside i feel like there is a theory

there i have a theory that like guys with huge cocks are more susceptible to like destroying their lives than any other subsect of like dude cook because i listen i just know a lot of guys who just have absolute coke cans real kielbasa's down there and they're the first guys to like come up to you screaming your scream in your ear and go i found lighter fluid you know and just something will happen do you think it's like did do they have more power than they can handle i think that's kind of what it is i think it's the fear i don't think it's fear but i think it's just no i think you're right when you are able to please a woman without having to do any of the extracurriculars without being nice to her without being nice it's just like i have an absolute wrench

what's like now it's time for me to expand the limits of my the rest of my conscious reality and all right if i choke this cat will i feel any crazier will i come harder who knows it's like being born with thor's hammer yeah that's exactly right yeah i think so much power you need to earn it i think there's also a deep down thing where they're like oh i have this huge dick but i still don't feel like i can fuck oh so you think it's real i i've known i have seen this in a lot of guys with big dicks is that there's almost a feeling when you talk to them real they're like they don't even feel like they have a big dick interesting like it's got to be crazy to to look

at and it's this goes for all positive attributes but they but especially this they'll look at it and they'll be like but that's not really i don't really have that i thought it was that there's so much blood going down there that drains the part of your brain that's another good i actually very very that i'm going to self-reflection part is the frontal lobe is just if we were as a bone if we were writing a thesis right now i think i would put posit your theory as number one because i think that's a medical thing that we might be able to it's not like speddy no that's something we could get dr drew or another medical doctor on we know drew yeah is he an actual medical doctor

oh yeah he's a physician but he cares more about tv for sure okay cool but we could ask him about it and we could be like all right you chad's laughing because it's it's true he talks about tv he's always talking i do love dr i like him too but he talks about tv i like when you say cut he he talks about tv the whole time i did dm him i was like should my mom get the rsv backs he's like yeah thank you dr one answer yeah yeah period no age yeah period no age yeah do you call me a dummy yeah dumbass wait where are we going i was gonna say i pause your theory is number one i pause it my theory is number two as like when you help when you wield that much power you almost want to see what the limits of that power can be yeah it's like uh where you're like what can my dick get me out of this indictment like it has so many problems with a girlfriend

or a girl that i'm talking to yeah like can i just i mean if i'm really if i have this gift it's kind of like the uh what's that movie uh boogie nights sure if mark walberg had only learned how to use his cock for good you know dude it's like uh what's that guy who flew too close to the sun? Icarus. Icarus, yeah. Dude. How do you use your cock for good? What? Brother.

How do you use your cock for good? I think it's just about like, how does it motivate you? Right. So when you look at it, you're like, I want to start a business. That's real. Yeah, dude. Because like, it's like, yeah, you could just do, you could rub it all day. Right.

Rub it raw. But how much better is it going to feel if you do something like you said? Start a business. Yeah. How do you use your dick for good but that's what i want to hear on the docket at the next un meeting yeah all right before we get to this israel palestine kerfuffle let's talk about how we use our penises for good ladies leave the room that's that's the wrong group to ask to respectfully please exit the building wait we have this guy coming in he's a un representative with a huge cock

he's gonna use it he turns around he goes gentlemen eight inches the ambassador from ken Kenya raises a point. Yes. I didn't take that without your consent. All right. Well, hey, Mumbatu, hold on. Hold on. Hey, someone get him.

Someone make sure. I don't understand what he's... I don't have the earpiece in. I don't understand. Dude, do you think if Tucker Carlson, when he interviewed Putin... I'm sick of him, dude. But when he interviewed Putin... That wasn't hard him dude but when he interviewed putin if when he interviewed putin that wasn't hard to say yeah i know whoa if he came out whoa if he whipped out his hog has anyone made that connection putin rasputin there could be a thing there that could

be they could be the same rasputin had powers and a huge cock dude rasputin he wasn't he was a prodigious oh yeah rasputin you know he thought he was dogging the czar's fam bro he definitely was i listen rasputin uh you're talking to a guy that read an entire book called the people's tragedy about the uh russian revolution i knew i was talking to that guy yeah i had a feeling when you walked in the room that this guy knows a lot about the serfs yeah cossacks go um he didn't have a big dick he had a tiny pit he had a tiny egg-shaped penis putin um no rasputin that's what i'm talking about yeah putin but he was giving it but whatever it was he was giving it away here's how he was giving it away here's how he got lover lover here's how he got it's the eyes he had these eyes powerful that were hypnotic it was like you have to like remember this is russia like everybody pretty much looks like either a potato

or a piece of cabbage come on but the women are pretty the women are pretty but that's what i'm saying the men all look like him whoa that's him yeah that's him oh i can see the eyes he was mystic like his eyes were wow he had light colored like he had these light really light blue eyes that people were like whoa and he could dance right he was just a master talker i mean his whole thing was um like he walked from siberia all the all the way to Moscow to deliver a message specifically for the Romanov royal family. And, you know, interestingly enough, there's a guy that did that in 2012. And he was like gaining like followers and like people following him along his route, almost similar to Rasputin. He was another like holy man coming from from the west

dude yeah it's 10 years since the visa came out yeah dude coming from the east and uh putin killed killed putin putin just shot him dude he just arrested him and killed he just literally like arrested but shot in the back of the head. This guy? Yeah, he shot Mike Poser. He shot Poser? Oh, fuck dude. Bro. Do you want to be buried in Detroit? Wait, but... I took a bullet in Moscow to show Putin I could chill.

Mike Poser comes... When I finally came to, I was in heaven with God and now got someone else to thrill. Can you imagine if you show up... What's the Russian government building? The Kremlin. You show up to the kremlin like david gutta just fucking and then he just gets shot can we pull up david gutta doing the martin luther king thing wait so but for real keep going on this stuff we'll watch that this guy did the same thing a shot by putin yeah he just shot him in the head he just like pretty much arrested him and shot him

really yeah because he knew that he knew what would happen dude dude that's how i don't mean to laugh no but what are you doing going for a walk and building a little uh club in russia right now bro that that was the alternate ending to forrest gump he doesn't let people vote that's what happens in Russia. He doesn't let them vote. Tom Hanks is running. Yeah. Dude. Forrest Gump would have gotten murked in Russia. I'm like, take him out when he hits St. Petersburg.

I have a dream. It's a tasty beat. That's not bad. I mean, I think I would have done lever levels personally but but you know what like a hundred years from now like his great grandkids would be like where was grandpa guetta on like uh police brutality and then they'll have yeah like i because i haven't taken a stand on a couple things that are cooking right now and i'm I'm like, I don't have much to add to the conversation. But is it important to just mark where I was at?

Dude, this guy is also from France, where they fucking take local mayor's hostages if the price of butter goes up two cents. They're just like, oh, what happened? You're going to take away my fucking bus pass? I'm going to fucking light this entire town on fire. That's how they protest and he's like everyone just chill out what are you talking about david guetta go do some more blow you fucking junkie sorry i don't know that got aggressive i've had like one and a half and like a quarter of a beer you know what though man it's not wrong that's what happens on

easy rider you get you get going easy rider do you feel like the french have like a habit of like pointing their scope in the other direction i like the french personally everyone kind of hates you just trashed them yeah because they do it right though yeah i'm just saying it's not his place to talk about like let's find peace like in our country that's i think that's true but like i do commend them for their um their no holds barred activism you and me we were we were right in the day and we both agreed we're not that interested in the epstein stuff no i hate it i think i what was our what we didn't even have a take we just were like we don't care sick of it dude i'm so sick of it i don't care i don't care i'm trying to talk about on stage and i just don't even i don't have a

theory i just don't i perversion doesn't interest me like it i guess i'm perverted and that's it it's kind of it's tough to take you seriously when you're making a stand when there's not a bass behind you. A nice bass drop. A beat drop. Perverted. Oh, sometimes I get a good child. Yeah, man. I'm sick of it.

But I worked with a pedophile um he was uh one of the teachers at the school i was working at damn yeah and i tell people this is how i kind of knew this guy was probably a pedophile he told me that the nfl was rigged one day and i was like yeah dude there's something up with this guy yeah because he kept just being like yeah there's a script you know there's there's there's clearly a script i, they make the same mistakes that my kids in fucking Pop Warner make. What kind of the variety was he? I mean, he looked like an Ewok if he stormed the Capitol. That's what this guy looked like.

But no, but who is he sweet on? Just like a 17-year- uh worked that was at a different school he worked at uh that happens yeah that happened in my school a couple times is he in jail oh yeah they got him he was not a good guy um and he also just kind of pissed me off so wasn't wasn't like mad about it when he got arrested were you like do you send a message like fuck you well i kind of looked at it as like, well, here we go. Time for Mr. Flynn to be the hero this school needs. Did you do something heroic? What?

Did you do something heroic? Yeah. Oh, oh, oh. You'd be like, don't worry, guys. I could be a teacher you can rely on. And then they'd be like, I need extra help. And I'm like, I have to go hit an open mic. It's important to follow your dreams.

Can we pull up the Eric Mays video? Who's Eric Mays? Dude, I have no idea, but we got to watch this. I texted it to Jake. I've been watching this video. Yeah, this is the one you sent me, right? Yeah. Listen to this guy.

We'll take a five-minute recess. Well, then y'all better focus. Because who can't? I want order. Dude. Point of order, Mr. Mays, is not being Jermaine. Yeah, I'm not going to be Jermaine, Tito, Michael, Jackie. But I'm going to talk about this AECOM contract.

Now, ain't that a cheap shot? Yeah, I'm talking about the contract, the time spent on it, and she talking about the Jackson 5. Because when they go low, I go nasty. Yeah, he does. Who is he? I don't know. It's got to be like a town selectman.

Wow. I really like him. Oh, Flint. Yeah, he's a student councilman. Oh, he died. Oh, no. He passed? Yeah, that water will get you in them. Oh, Flint. Hey, is this a councilman? Oh, he died. Oh, no. He passed? Yeah, that water will get you in Flint. Oh, no. Man, I found out about him too late.

That must kind of suck to have your city's shit on for something that you can't control at all. The water. The water. Where it's like, oh, your water's bad. You're like, yeah, I need it to drink with. It's kind of a bummer, actually. Do what what's this like oh stinky water stinky water guy nice water dumbass nice water fucking idiot yeah like you go on spring break and you like meet a bunch of people and they're like where are you from you're like go to flint college they're like ew yeah ew it's

like i can't help that they point to the ocean like there's some fresh water for you yeah you could take a shower in the ocean it's better for you yeah what do you what do you bring a brita down here uh-huh and then you're like our water actually wasn't that bad it's actually very serious issue selling out the health code yeah it's actually greatly exaggerated my mother's pre-existing conditions and you're like do you think anyone was doing that too i bet there were yeah well you look up i bet hockey teams were probably chirping yeah i mean i don't know dude i i looked we were watching that video of the the spring breakers um in covid no this spring the spring breakers like because i always remember

i would go to fort lauderdale for spring break and we just never went to the beach because like the beach would just turn into like a mob of everyone in a circle yeah and i'm like that's kind of the antithesis of why we're down here though no now it just seems like we're in like a big circle everyone's screaming and yelling like that doesn't look fun like how is that fun all that meat that's just so much man meat that's just so much stuff jiggling and wiggling you know i can't even get a good clock in on anything are you seeing like the vegas pool when there's so many people in it it changes the viscosity like it gets creamy oh what are you talking about i've been there so many times, man. All that sunscreen. You've seen the water change? It gets creamy.

Avoiding your girlfriend and child? Yeah, I was there a week ago. I told my girlfriend it was important. Actually, you know, we almost, our first fight, we went to Vegas together to watch a fight. And the next day I brought her to a club like that. And that was the first, she got annoyed and wanted space. I remember that. Yeah. I almost blew the whole thing i was like because you brought chad with you

yeah i brought chad i was like he goes he's gotta leave and he goes he's my boy i remember sitting there feeling bad being pissed at me yeah what's that i remember feeling bad and i was sitting on a like a pool chair far away from her and i just remember peeing my pants nice were you in the water you just wow you just fucking let it loose i just was like you know what nothing matters anyways just pissed maybe it was like a way of like reclaiming my fucking yeah i think in the moment i always i always know that an argument is very serious and i should always try to meet somebody on with empathy and like at their level and what they're

talking about but there's like afterwards i always think like how funny would have been if i just like she made a point i just said shut up yeah that is really fun i say i say that my girlfriend's cool i can say that to my girlfriend and we laugh right but that But that's like you. You got to get to know them. You got to get to know them. Or if I was just like, or she's like, I really don't feel good right now. And it's like, stop feeling that way. No, you should do that. You got to do that once.

Get over it. Stop. Wouldn't that be crazy? Yeah. Stop. Stop. You're ruining Buffalo Wild Wings for me right now. Dude.

Just fucking finish eating. You can't do that. No, that's literally what we were at the airport and she said she felt bad and i was like oh look at her she feels bad to everyone in line and i think she actually liked it but i i felt safe to do that she she really made me feel safe to be my mother's child my children too she's mother of children children too you have two children yeah yeah dude so like that's way different what do we is this your easy rider hat yeah we got to wreck all the shit that's rules man are you dating anyone right now no i just got out of a situation ship didn't you say she was like tick tocking you yeah she's making tick tocks about me it was not it was fine like

i didn't really but they were going like they were blowing up they were going really viral i can't i don't know but dude i mean i understand not want to be tick-tocked about but you were called i liked it you were called macho i like yeah the way she described him was flattering i think that's pretty cool i liked it i think i mostly just bring it up because it's something to say like why like why did you end it and it's easy just to say like it's a fun interesting thing to just go yeah just make a tiktoks about me yeah it was just you know i'm just not in a position to date anybody right now i don't honestly i've been thinking about this past couple days where i just go do i even want to get back out there i just truly i'm 27 dude i could realistically kind of just take a year and go kind of like

girl sober and not give a shit. I think that's healthy. And I think I would just be fine with that. Like I got out of like a pretty serious relationship back in Denver. And then like I came out here being like, let's fucking, let's nut. And then I hated it almost right away. Yeah. So, I don't know.

You know, if you go that girl sober that could be how you meet your wife that's what i'm thinking like when you do that then she comes into the picture i think i just got to stop forcing it i end up feeling a great load of guilt over not making plans with people who are interested in me right or not reciprocating certain feelings i don't know if you guys have ever felt that way. Yeah, I have. I think that's necessary. I think that's okay to feel that. Like, that's part of it.

And I want, I just don't want people to think I'm like a... Bad guy. Yeah, bad guy. Because I think with this face and voice, it's pretty easy to preconceive. You're a handsome guy. I'm a handsome guy with a shitty voice. No, I like it, dude. Commands.

Yeah, I sound like I could fucking run a third world country doesn't or just like someone where i thought you're gonna say like a greek army no you could run like tammany hall in like the 1890s bill listen here bill the butcher you can only have three scalps this week we need to hang three people soon. The people are going to get upset. We need blood. Bill, you have to let three Irishmen vote this year. And all the things are settled at the bar, you know? Yeah, it's so good. It did seem cool.

I could see you in Gladiator taking off your helmet. Tell me your name. My name is Big Alec Flynn. Commander of the Legion of the North. That's what they called me in Macedacedonia yeah yeah oh they seem pretty chill there the spanish woman tick-tocked about me yeah i've seen them father to a tick-tocks father to an absolute chiller yeah yeah i'm taking a break from sex i feel like son to a total these maidens feeling a son to a total beauty husband to a tiktok woman husband to a tiktok

thought yeah and i've come here husband to an only fans i've come here because i have a huge cock that's nice kai you just dropped that in front of comedies joaquin phoenix you just very nice macedonian man we have one dance for you to do in front of our legion of tiktokers and once you are finished you and i will perform it simultaneously and then kiss okay i thought i was gonna pick up that riff somewhere and really make it pop but it really didn't get there no it's good you know i'm good at the voices you ever have a you ever like take a bunch of mushrooms and like you just do a voice or like a theme with your boys for like a good four hours yeah what'd you guys do i could i'll tell you mine at the end what's one i've done recently

when's the last time i even did mushrooms do you want me to just i'll kick it off yeah we were out in the woods uh me and the lads shout out to ben shout out to ben dewey key dog um we were out in the woods and took a bunch of mushrooms and we just kept pretending like we were like knights in like a castle and oh yeah also shout out to Al. He was there. And we just kept going, ah, yes. Like whoever had the big chair, we were just going, yes, the king sits on his throne. Very good. He pretends as if he has the entire court around his side.

But no, we are making plays. We are making moves. That sounds like fun. We will not stay on this wooden carriage very longer. And like I have this weird like weird like yeah just this jester voice that i'll keep doing were you the jester i was the jester yes the jester knows no bounds he knows no allegiance either who is the king keeps everybody honest you can flip from one way to another like a pancake so you're like yeah and then i would just i was really i was getting into it who is the king is our friend ben he's like six seven

yeah he's huge shout out to ben we call him benny bronto because one time he like uh ate a mushroom chocolate bar um and like arched his entire back all the way down like a brontosaurus eating a smaller bush wow yeah it was awesome that's hilarious yeah it was the best dude we you know we went to a psychedelic conference oh we pretended it was joe rogan joe rogan was there the whole time no shit this guy looked like joe rogan yeah let's do a roganista let's do like the 130 clip no back jake like 130 i can't really listen to rogan anymore man we convinced the first guy i was listening to cat williams i'll listen to cat williams but i don't know my thing is like with rogan just before we play the clip it's just i feel like every time i'm like listening like a

great interview he's doing with like a awesome comedian i like he'll just go yeah man have you ever seen that video of the monkey ripping his own dots off and eating it you know like as i pull up that clip i'm like what this guy's just like it's like fluffy about to talk about like how he writes in a certain way and it's just like yeah man so there's this video this guy putting himself in a barrel and launching himself off the

niagara falls you want to pull that up jamie it's like just stay on the thing yeah there's something kind of like uh liberating about how not bound to like interview standards he is how he'll just go where his head takes him yeah i mean that's nice but it's like there's no there's no transition between that like hey this is how sam talent like you know started out in colorado and then it just goes from that into oh man one time i shot a coyote up in the

mountains and like i thought to myself i could wear its face if i really try but it's hilarious great quote it oh yeah but that's what it is what were you gonna say chad oh i um i was listening upon uh cat williams is just on there he was on there like today cat williams will just i i he'll just make claims well he'll be like i'll be like the he's like the pyramids they're talking about the pyramids he's like well the pyramids weren't built by humans that's just silence he's like how do you know that he's like if you look back and you read enough they were not and you're like, I want that confidence. Yeah, I have an electric Rolls Royce.

Cat Williams is very good at playing to whatever show he's on. Yeah. He goes on Club Shay Shay. He talks shit. He goes on Rogue and he talks about pyramids. Dude, it's actually pretty good. I mean, that's a comics. That's how you know he's a real pro, dude.

Yeah. All right, let's play this video of you guys shitting and farting at this conference. Thank you. I already know who y'all are. Oh, nice. Nice. I mean, hell, you made it on Netflix. Thanks.

Thank you. We're activists. There's Rogan in the background there. Really? What made y'all come out? We were honestly hoping to come out and meet Joe Rogan. So we're safe that he's here. He's here.

He's behind us. That's not Joe Rogan. come out and meet Joe Rogan. So we're psyched that he's here. He's here. That's not Joe Rogan. That's Joe Rogan. That's Joe Rogan. That's Joe Rogan. That's not Joe Rogan. Look at it. That's Joe Rogan. No, that's not Joe Rogan. I'm telling you, that's Joe Rogan. Is it really? Yes. You're kidding me. No no that's him yeah it's crazy we're trying to get a speaker spot if that's on the table that's it that's it jake should we call one of these people every time i watch that i feel like i'm back on shrooms that was fun being on mushrooms there i mean i think mushrooms are gonna be the new weed i think they need to make weed legal again i'm gonna be honest why you think people are just too

stony baloney and acting all chill about it i'm gonna be honest yeah i'm hate i hate it i also i almost got stoned tonight i hate weed culture i'm gonna do it right now actually yeah look at you you're gonna hit that weed pen look at you you need that don't you no it's once a week yeah that's once i do need it sure yeah you need it yeah why would you phrase it like that that's fun it's fun to kind of needle be a yeah be a pessimistic yeah you got me on my heels about that yeah i felt like my dad will do that shit i'll smoke weed and i'll be honest with him my dad's like what are you doing i'm like i'm high he's like what you can't handle reality what you like getting high yeah dude my dad did that to me he was like he like fucking

he sewered me he goes i have a bit about it but he literally goes he's like yeah i'm on i took a little bit of mushrooms i'm like can i have some mushrooms he goes i'm not giving my fucking kids drugs do you like getting high is that your thing out there now you get high and i'm like is this like are you even on drugs are you just trying to like like fucking catch me in the act it's entrapment my brother does that yeah it's so brutal yeah my dad the first time my dad saw me snort adderall he he looked at me and he went and nodded his head that sounds like approval that is approval he almost like respected because i kind of did it like in his face i I was like, yeah. And then he went.

You're a very, you guys just kind of make guttural noises, don't you, as a family? It was just, you know, we can talk. But in that moment, it was just all snorts. And the JT family dinner is if your son does that in front of you no give him the nod no no dude i've been putting like i've been smashing up addies in front of him and trying to get him to snort it and i don't know he doesn't have much of an aptitude for it well you got to roll up a dollar bill for him i emailed the doctor and i was like hey this kid doesn't even know how to like rail lines is this a real problem yeah the doc was like he doesn't need to be doing that right now and i was like okay

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I'm not having this argument. Hey, man. How's it going? What's up, dude? How are you? Yeah, I'm pretty good. pretty good cool man you're on the pod with chad and alec flynn oh nice what's up guys what up dude what's up you absolute beauty what's uh what ails you brother what ails me i'm uh i'm moving out of my condo right now because uh i gotta rent it out

and tomorrow's the first so gotta move back in with the rents which is uh not ideal you know it happens cool part of the plan you know uh recoup some money and uh should be back here a little bit but it's actually uh not why i'm calling you i'm calling because i'm in a bit of a pickle oh yeah yeah so for about two months i've been boning my friend's sister nice yeah good you kind of buried the lead here yeah yeah i i do have a lot going on but this is is a pressing matter. I'm boning my friend's sister, and she has no clue. But all my buddies at work are telling me I've got to tell them, which is not really something I want to do.

Do you plan on continuing to bone his sister? It's up in the air. Yeah, that's a no. I just got out of a pretty bad one. I'm divorced for like two years now. So I'm not trying to really hop back into anything. Right. How often are you boning?

Once a week, kind of frequently at this point uh do you think your friend will be upset i think he would take it pretty well i think he would probably take it like a champ it's pretty chill dude he's definitely uh a stoker i'm not not sure he listens to the pod, but he's a chill guy. How close in age or, I'd say, in relation are the sister and the friend? She's about five years younger than me, and my friend's about a year older than me. Okay. Okay. And how old is that in raw numbers?

Well, I'm 33, so. Okay, she's 28. That's okay. Oh, okay. You know, you guys are adults. Yeah. Yeah, for sure. So what's the fear?

Like, you just don't want to have the uncomfortable conversation? Or are you worried he's going to tell you to stop boning her? I just got my buddies at work pressing me saying you know it's the right thing to do they're all full of shit uh dude i think you know what i think um and again i don't like to throw stones i made out with one of my friend's sisters i told him the next day he was pissed um i think you actually only have to tell him if you keep boning but if you're planning on breaking i think the thing i would be more worried about if i was him is do you really care about my sister and it sounds like you like her but that you don't like like her so if you're

gonna tell him you're burning his sister maybe i don't know i might be jumping the gun there but maybe break it off if you're gonna tell him you're about your sister that's uh i kind of been feeling that way just kind of looking for a little confirmation and uh you summed it up pretty well there so so you're going to do the breakup and then the ultimate reveal? Yeah. Hey, take a deep breath. Hit your inhaler. Take it in.

Yeah. Do you think he has to tell him if he stops? Yeah, I think so. I think it's just like you don't want to blindside anybody. Yeah, he'd rather know. You'd want to know. Yeah. You're he'd rather know. You'd want to know. Yeah, you're right. What's up?

No, go ahead. There was actually a pretty funny moment like two years ago, maybe a year and a half ago. I was bartending, and so him and the boys, they were out, they were having a good time, attending a bar, and he's kind of messing with me. And I was like, you know what, dude? Your sister's hot. So him and the boys, they're out. We're having a good time, 10 bar. And he's kind of messing with me. And I was like, you know what, dude? Your sister's hot.

And he responded with, he said to me and the whole squad, he was like, you know what? If someone had to bone my sister, I'd want it to be you. Wow. My friends said that about me, too. And I think they tell you that when they think you're the last guy who would actually do it. Whoa. Yeah, so he kind of gave me the go-ahead.

Yeah, he's kind of tempted fate. And you took him up on it. Yeah, here's what I think you should do. You should call him up and be like, hey, dude, you know how you gave me that green light to bone your sister? Well, I've been doing it for two months now. Yeah, how do you like them apples? And you throw her nude right up on his window. I think because he kind of threw the gauntlet at you a little bit.

Yeah, yeah, for sure. So he got it. It was coming. It was was coming and you don't have any stds or anything right no no dude send a picture no the stds that was a crazy move so so you don't don't really want to keep boning her? To be honest, yeah, I'm not seeing it as a long-term thing. But it's just so awesome, you know? It's like the winter months and just so consistent and pretty awesome.

I think you should say exactly that to your brother. Yeah. You'd be like, God, understand, bro. Like, she's a warm body i'm lonely it's consistent does your buddy listen to this podcast i don't think so but he's the type of guy that would i think it's good he tells it it sounds like it kind of seems like a resounding yes i should tell them yeah you gotta tell them you gotta break up with her dude at the end of the day complacency and like a situation ship there's two parts of it right there's somebody that always wants to make it in a relationship and then somebody that wants to make sure that it's not and if you don't want to make sure that it's not you feel like ultimately you're going to be taking advantage of this girl and like she'll

be you know and it doesn't feel good in the end it'll last longer than you want it to and then she'll have resentful feelings that then your friend will not like you for so tell him now tell him and then just get and then cut the cord and you'll be better off for it beastman i absolutely nailed it you summed it up so well oh thank you my friend it's uh pretty much how this is alex yeah it's alex what's going on well. Well, thank you, my friend. Pretty much how I feel. This is Alex? Yeah, it's Alex. What's going on?

Nice, dude. Nice to meet you. Yeah, you're a beauty. Good luck. And, dude, call us back after you tell him. I'd like to hear how it went. Yeah, I can do that. Sweet.

Thanks, brother. All right. Oh, you know what? I got to say this. Chad, you had the best list dude the sports draft oh dude thank you dude i was like just shattered to my core when when that dude announced that fourth place that was yeah jake had you jake you hear that uh dude thank you should not have been fourth place you know what dude can i tell you this if anyone were to bone my sister i'd want to be nice dude all right well thank you guys i'll let you know how it goes thanks man thanks for calling in love you bye bye

i like that guy he was great he was cool best sports drafts of all time who had hockey is first i like that aaron all right and then f1 racing is second that's not great f1 stinks you like it sucks why it's just like how am i supposed to watch there's like 15 different like i can't tell what turn people are going around the viewing experience the viewing experience is absolutely brutal but the narrative and the setting is monica top notch yeah the locations and you get a nice montage cutting you into it you're flying yeah but it's like we're fucking poor americans like we're not gonna be able to go to monaco they're gonna be like go to austin i'll be like fucking gross yuck but you don't think that's not like aspirational like a james bond movie where you're like man

there's these handsome guys that get down out there no dude i don't give a fuck so you like watching nascar no i don't like watching any sort of racing i like rug i watch rugby i would watch cricket because i think that would just be so funny how like little the rules i would know it is hard to walk it's hard to understand it'd be kind of funny just to look around to wait for other people to be excited so i could go oh oh hey all righty you know what i do like about cricket no glove yeah like they barehand it that's like why do we use a glove it's pretty balls like the best sports have the least amount of equipment yes and that the american sport weakness is that a lot of our sports are equipment dependent and that our

equipment changes like they should just be using wooden rackets and like shitty sticks and baseball wooden rackets and tennis okay yeah golf should they should just have a set of clubs that's all you use. It should never change. I think in golf, you should have to throw the ball. You can't hit it. I like that. That'd be sick. That'd be kind of hilarious.

Can you kick it if it's like a drive? The labrum injuries. The labrum. Wow. You better be working that TheraBand if you're going to play 18 at Augusta. Yeah, dude. I play from the tips. I get a couple crow hops in and I fucking hum that thing.

Dude, that'd be cool, too. It'd get a little bit like an Olympic thing where you'd really have to work on your footwork yeah you get disc golf we got foot golf oh yeah i like that all right who we call next what's this guy's problem he's got aids what's his deal what about a what about a hockey rink race did you guys ever race in circles around the rink they have that they have they have ice skating. But not like Apollo Ono speed skating. I'm talking about where you can get rough and a little rollerball-ish. Yeah, that's called roller derby. You ever go to roller derby?

But on ice. Nah, it's too dangerous. I'm too fired up. Yeah, because ice is harder than concrete. We used to go to roller derby in Denver. It was my favorite thing to go to. It's just like lesbian fucking Thunderdome. It's awesome. Yeah, they get after after it they do they really hurt themselves and it's about lapping the other

team yeah you get points and they go like and you can't use your hands or anything so these girls just hip check and just really lay people out it's fun i really really recommend it i might try and go this weekend do you play hockey out here? I play roller on the weekends. If anyone wants to come join me, Marvis, the roller rink. Really? Saturdays. Yeah, I just play pickup. Are there people who play out there? Yeah.

Oh, yeah. It's pretty competitive. We just do pickup. It's pretty competitive. Really? Yeah. Dude, I peel tarp, fucking get a nice tan, toss a biscuit around. Dude, I'm like right there.

I just need rollerblades. You want to come out i need a stick and some other blades i'll get you out you skate good right i'm a good skater i can't handle the puck no worries but you can just fly down the wing and just punch that thing i can i can fly we'll put you in front of the net you'll fast dude yeah we'll put you in front of the net and i'll just have you tip pucks in if you put it if you put a rail bow dude if you put a rail in there too i'll do a royale grind right into the net that's where you you go like that just like that yeah that's pretty good

i like giving out advice this is a lot of fun it is nice i mean i'm 27 so i feel like i've lived quite a quite a long life and i feel like I have a lot to say. How does it feel being 27? I don't know. Hey. Oh, my God, it's a girl. Hey, how are you? Hi, I'm good.

How's it going? It's going well. How are you guys? Just chilling. Chant, chilling. We got Alec Flynn here. Hey. Big Alec.

Hey, babe. what ails you um i just kind of have a question and it's kind of stupid so you guys can cut me off um whenever um if it seems dumb no such thing but but get into it um so i've been seeing this guy since september um and we have like good chemistry and stuff but like um a week ago he went on a bachelor trip um before he left he said he just wanted to be friends with benefits and i was like okay yeah whatever um but when he was on the bachelor trip he was sending me drunk emo texts oh emo texts like about how much he likes you no just like no i miss you blah blah blah can i get hours away how many emojis per text are we talking here like over one and a half?

No emojis at all. Okay. That's even scarier. You know what? I would not take anything he said over that trip as an indicator of a deeper feelings. Where did they go? He could have been lit up. And sometimes when you're lit up, you can like, he could even been like, I don't mean to be cynical, but he could have been like,. And sometimes when you're lit up, he could have even been like,

I don't mean to be cynical, but he could have been like, I've just seen it. He could have been talking to another girl, taking a break, and then sent those texts. Yeah. So I'm in Minneapolis and he was in Arizona. So there was a little bit of a time difference as well. So it was kind of like I woke up to the text. And then he came home for like six hours before he went on a different trip.

And he wanted to see me. So we hung out. So I'm like, oh, I was like the first person you wanted to see before you left town again. Like, I don't know. So how long were you guys seeing each other before this bachelor trip um since september since september and then a couple months so and then he went what was the other trip um he went on a trip with his parents and what was the vibe when you saw him for like that six hours?

I mean, when we're in person, it's like really like good chemistry, but I'm also like, I don't know. Like we laugh a lot and make plans to do stuff together. And we've gone on a couple dates, but a lot of the time it's just like. It's just a hookup yeah kind of do you really like him yeah i really like him why do you like him i don't know he's a nice guy he's successful um he's handsome he's i't know. We laugh a lot. We have good chemistry. How old are you guys?

I'm 25 and he's 28. Okay. Yeah. I feel like... Go hard here, JT. Don't hold anything back. No, I won't. I feel like...

It feels like you're holding back. I feel like you got two options because i i think if someone wants to be with you they'll make the effort to be with you so a you can you know make them work for it a bit more and then really test how invested he is in it or the more extreme version that you can take space and see what he does then because because it sounds good and it sounds like you really like him but i can also tell that it sounds like you really like him and i guess i just worry if you continue on this path it might be a little he might be shorter on commitment than you want and then what you deserve so i don't and i feel like maybe that's why you're calling in too is because

you kind of already feel that way yeah i'm like a little nervous to, like, even, like, have that conversation to be like, oh, yeah, I think I like you more than, like, just friends with benefits. But I also don't want to say it because I don't want to, like, not see him ever again if it does, like, cut off, you know what I mean? Okay. I have, can I interject? Go ahead. i have can i interject so here's like you know if you're really scared of saying it what i would you know and if you really want to convey that you want to be with this person i would uh get off your birth control and trick him have a child with this man and that way he has to see you all the time and if you say he's thinking about it yeah Yeah. So he's successful.

It sounds like you guys could settle down and maybe a nice one bedroom outside of Minneapolis. Wow. Okay. Good schools, George Floyd, RIP. You know, we got to be thinking about stuff like that. I think JT's advice, while very good and practical, let's not limit ourselves to the practical. Let's lock them in forever look there's something if you want to be a savage and live that life i think that's very empowering but you got to live that life all the time and then it's it's open season you got to get like his

name tattooed above your eyebrow like you gotta well you gotta scare him and you gotta be willing to continually scare him yeah are you willing to do that yeah trap his ass that'd be kind of fun though to be like someone who's like kind of a reaper of terror in someone else's life someone that you love yeah but let's let's also not forget that before he left for the thing he said what he said yeah i guess a little context on that we were supposed to hang out before he left and i was like oh yeah i want to see you and he was like you want to see me or just fuck and i was like um no i want to see you like i want to hang out and i think he took it the wrong way and then was like oh no i think we're just friends with benefits i mean i oh no i know i think uh you know if you continue this path without saying anything and you just go along with the friends and benefits thing,

it's probably going to torture you for a while. I think either you got to, like, plant your flag in the ground and be like, I either want to be in a relationship or not because if you take yourself out of the picture, you're going to, you know, if you don't give him what he wants he's you know he's he's gonna have to decide like you not being there is gonna force him to yeah you consider things you give a mouse your cookie he'll always come back yeah you know i'm worried about even telling him how you feel because i feel like you already kind of did

i i wouldn't make yourself he he was so... The thing he said was like, not very considerate. I would just... Yeah. I would ghost him and then see how I can really make him chase it. Oh, that's the move. Yeah, ghost is ghost. And then see what he does. And then if he texts and he goes, hey, I want to meet up, give him like a one word answer

like, hey, I'm busy. Sorry, maybe later. Or say I'm hungry. Here's five restaurants that cost a lot that you're successful as can bring me to yeah or if you know i'm going to texas roadhouse and i'm getting all the roles if you respond sizzler if you respond say oh sorry i was at morton's but don't say with who and he's gonna be like oh fuck she's getting filet mignon with rick yeah i think you should and get filet mignon with rick yeah is there rick in there go out with a guy named rick

are you seeing other people um trying but like i mean it's just the chemistry is not really yeah it's there with him so i'd say go boy sober for a little bit. Let him realize that you're the best thing that ever happened to him. You're the best, as Drake once said. You are. And then if he comes back, he comes back. If he's not, he wasn't meant to be. Yeah.

Yeah. You got to be strong, though. I know it's tough because you got a connection and that's not easily found, but you got to be tough. We're in a season of celibacy, mama. Okay? Find a guy named Richard. If you find a guy named Richard, I mean, what's up?

You don't know? Well, maybe like Richie. Richie. Oh, okay. Okay. That's how it goes. I think ghost ghosting him is the answer give him a little taste of his own medicine and uh if he tries to text you just send him a gif of um pete wentz and remember he's not hot shit he's he's very lonely and sad and you have something that he

is hot shit though no but i say we can't think like that. Yeah. Okay, okay. Yeah, he's not shit. He ain't shit. He cries to his mama. He pisses the bed. All right, you're yelling into the mic. Sorry. I get fired up by words.

This is my first, like, I guess you could call it, like, relationship, if you want to say that, since I broke up with my ex like a year and a half ago yeah like six years so it's like i'm kind of new to like the modern dating game i guess so i'm not good at like ghosting call yourself playing hard to get call yourself carm alone because you that's a rebound this is you're picking up a rebound. Yeah.

That's what it is. Yeah. Okay. Listen, I'm in the same kind of boat as you. We all feel like we're kind of just getting back into the game a little bit. So it takes steps. It's not going to happen overnight. And even though you might feel like there's a connection with somebody,

more often than not, it's just you wanting there to be a connection. This is how anonymous caller got her groove back. I love that. I love that. You know, the guy that that book's written about turned out to be gay. She sued him. The Emperor's New Groove? She sued him.

She sued him? For fooling her. Yeah, they went on Oprah and they had to talk about the whole thing. Wow. It was a whole thing. Interesting. So, girl, this dude is gay. He is gay. Look, we wish you luck out there. Keep us posted.

We're all in agreement. Give him the ghost. Give him the ghost. Okay. Thank you for the advice on the dumb question that's a great question i don't like that low self-esteem yeah there's a lot a lot of people in this predicament right now and you help them out and there's a lot of guys out there who would just do anything for you yeah you're a bad bitch mama yeah oh get it girl yeah that's what's up hey watch that new jennifer lopez thing she is it good it's 20 million dollars

worth of nothing but it's something because it's crazy i saw her tour i want to go see her live all right we'll let you go but we will keep we're gonna keep talking about jlo all right thanks much all right bye bye would you see jlo live i would do anything for jlo dude her movies it's like insane shout out my boy ben affleck the movie is the greatest with my hero they go to yeah they they're in a sex rehab that she goes to because she's a love addict and then they do a dance a group dance yeah and they sign it for people who are deaf wow is this real yeah is this like a trailer you saw or like an actual movie that's out she made a movie about herself that's a it's like a video album what yeah and it's about her it's some of it's about are you ben guy

who ben ben affleck i'm a ben guy i mean if i'm from boston i'm from massachusetts of course i'm a ben affleck guy he's like my favorite guy he's i think he's tops i like the top guy i think he's the greatest guy that ever i also think so too i mean think about it he he's not only been up up he's been down he's the phoenix and now he's back he's always been back he also won best picture like for a movie he directed and starred in which is hard that's very hard that's a lot of response and he takes i think he rips himself down just because he knows the climb is purifying because no i think he's just like our our mentality coming from new england dude i think it's just smoke it's a very much a puritan mentality of like you ain't shit you're only just a part of the greater collective but that's what makes them so oh wait jay can you play this

bradley cooper clip i sent he uh because bradley cooper is also one of my guys his duncan commercial was so funny level tops yeah did you just matt damon it's really hard to be your friend sometimes it's above the air. Yeah, it's right there. Sorry. I've been screaming lately. You've been yelling. Dude, my girlfriend's like, I've been so, since I had kids, I've been way louder.

I'm trying to find that middle ground. You've been louder? Really? I've been way louder. Do you miss him? Oh. Dude, watch this. What do you miss about him?

He's talking about Larry Bernstein. He's never met him. I don't know. we shared something very special. It's hard to even articulate. But he was with me certainly throughout the entire time. His energy has somehow found its way to me that I really do feel like I know him. He never met him. That's in front of leonard bernstein's kids no really crazy that's crazy i kind of dude that's an artist that's his that's his mom being like yeah you're

great bradley everything you say is right yeah no dude that's crazy you think ben affleck would say that ben affleck would be like yeah you know i looked at the wikipedia pull up ben affleck arguing with sam harris about islamophobia this is where affleck gets into his bag oh is this on i think i actually saw this live on bill maher it's racist it's gross it's racist and we have to be able to criticize bad ideas and of course we do no liberal doesn't okay okay but but why when is the mother load of bad ideas jeez i love bill maher dude i watched a bill maher segment one time where like he spent like 12 minutes talking about how no one had picked up his recycling for two weeks i'm dead it was so funny and like he didn't realize the joke he just kept going but this is cal California, isn't it?

But this is what it's become. Wait, was that on the show or the podcast? On the show. That's crazy. On the show. He goes, this is a state of graft. It is what I put out my lawn clippings out on the road. No one's picked it up for two weeks.

Dude, he. Dude, his segments will sometimes be. Yeah, get on or get on grass warfare. Yeah, get on... Grass warfare. Yeah, it's shit like that where he... Grass must get a good... The way he smacks his lips, I love. I might not. This might not be... You probably won't be able to find it.

I don't know, but he's... I love Bill Maher because he's so get off my... He makes a lot of great points, and he is a true... He's got great points. He's himself. He's totally himself, which I love, but he is... He true like like he's got great i like great himself he's totally himself which i love but he is he's so old now but like and so he comes off as truly old man shit i i enjoy

watching a dude this might sound weird but if he hadn't only fans i would subscribe to it just to watch him be like i don't know i mean her pussy's pretty good just him having sex i think would be hilarious oh i mean it's no cindy crawford i thought his only fans would still be him like talking about political shit in the nude like no i wouldn't want to see that like you just unlock a video for 10 bucks which is him talking about christianity oh my god i'm about to filibuster yeah so we're doing so yeah so we're doing doggy and I'm thinking about you know Israel Palestine and I'm thinking to myself why can't they just split up the land like I do these cheeks but you know that's something for another here's ira glass from the new york times he talks over the girl moaning yeah like she's about to moan he's like stop right there yeah

this is happening at colleges excuse me i'm not done and i know that the big move now is just to let a girl moan but i'm not that guy i'm sorry if i have something to say i'm gonna say it and i'm sorry about that the state is just oh look at you it's all about your orgasm well guess what it's not i'm here too i want to come as well is that wrong boohoo boohoo i know it's not liberal anymore it's not liberal for a man to come before a woman does right college kids because you don't want to come but that's what it's always been and now we don't we act like there's some sort of any extreme between coming and not coming there's a gray area look these kids at harvard and princeton they don't even come anymore they don't like to come that's who we're dealing with radical zealots of anti

coming i don't relate i'm sorry i'm a man i like to come i just kind we're dealing with radical zealots of anti-coming i don't relate i'm sorry i'm a man i like to come i just kind of agree with everything he says like literally i'm just saying yeah like i think he's right do you think his sex videos would be like uh big fat load and riffing on geopolitics i think that's close yeah it's just his like shriveled ass he does talk about sex a lot he does he reminds me of me where i talk about so i'm like i'm gonna be more he'll be on rogue and he'll be like i like having sex i'm like oh let's see like the guy with like do you see that guy's balls it is a little madison it would be like huge tit stepdaughter semi-colon EPA. Huge tit stepdaughter EPA.

Putin has lost it. Semi-colon anal. It is true. Like him talking about it, he's like, new rule, there's nothing disgusting about wanting to get stroked and have your butt licked

at the same time. He's just talking to this poor girl. New rule you make me come don't seem disgusted when you dislike come that offends me new rule you have to try the bread that i made in my kitchen after we have sex dude and he still has his audience there and they're all clapping and he's like annoyed by it yeah he's like oh well please that's the best way he bombs on a joke and he goes what's wrong with you guys he's my favorite dude i do love him he's such an old man at this point he's he's really fun i felt like i watched him get old like i didn't really like i like he was i got into him like in college and like as the years went on i'm like oh this is like he's taking more and more steps to like senility yeah have you guys have you guys watched his stand-up yeah yeah it's bad i liked it i was

better than me but it's bad i like this old i liked like he had old stuff that was pretty good but i guess it's like it's easy to like it when it's talking about like bush and gore but oh you need to say what you know what it is is with his standup is he's playing. He's not like doing clubs. He's only playing to the claps. So it's very much like, I think he's the best on his show. Cause there's other people to argue against him. And that sharpens him a little bit. Right.

So it's, his standup has gotten to a point where he's used to his own audience too much. It's all his own people. So everyone in the room's on the same page. He's at his best when like, cause he doesn't give a fuck if people disagree with him so it's better when he has that that's what's cool about him is that he's like the whole world could be calling him an idiot and he's so like absurdly confident like actually world you're wrong on this one okay okay just because you're yelling at me doesn't mean you're right and it's like literally the whole world let's bring out our guest moby moby dude he will do that he'll be like moby and they'll be like and colin powell yeah you're like what are these two dude it was christopher hitchens roasted mo's def on there one time

oh yeah mr definitely it was a brutal matchup he called him mr definitely did he really yeah that's so good or most definitely he called him yeah mr most definitely oh man most estimate all right should we do another call let's do yeah let's do another let's buzz somebody hello what up dude hello oh what up how are you man good how are you doing well what ails you brother dude I got a big problem with the boys. Oh. This is just what we needed. Dish, dish, dish.

Yeah. New rule. My boys and I, we do this thing when we get together. We call it boy bonding. Oh, no. What we like to do is we all get in a circle and we pass around gold bond. Gold bond? And we puff it into our hands and we reach into our pants and rub it on our balls and then shake our hands

yeah it's awesome okay all right i was boys some of the boys don't want to do it well that's they're right are you forcing boys to gold bond i don't know have you started hitting them if it is they're right it kind of harshes the mood right you feel like they're yucking your yums i would say that your yum here is enough of an outlier that you got to give forgiveness to people who aren't partying that way i guess that's true but at the same time a big problem what i'm gonna have a wedding in a few months and i know before you, the reception and everything, my best men are going to like, we're going to bond.

But two of them don't like to do it. Well, that's your special day. Yeah, they have to. Two of your groomsmen don't like to boy bond? Yeah, it's like a great divide. There's four, and two of them, they'll be down like 100%. And the other two two they're not gonna they're not gonna want to do it it's a split decision you're the deciding vote and it's also

your special day yeah you're supreme chancellor yeah it's three to two you've won do you do your boys who don't gold bond do they do other stuff that's like cool no yeah that's what i kind of suspected i feel like these boys might be smalls yeah this might be like the uh canary in the ball sack where it's like these guys have been hinting for a while that they're kind of like not down for the cause so i feel like it might be time to just have a talk with them and ask if they're depressed oh that's a good idea they might be because typically when you're not trying to get down with your friends it's not because so much of what they're doing but because you

don't feel like you can get in the energy that they need for you to be there and that's a deeper thing wow yeah well that's pretty big okay yeah i think your boys are sad bro and i honestly think if you don't call them and get on it you got blood on your hands yeah you got a blood on your hands maybe not to death but maybe but like also just to like a life unfulfilled yeah that's okay i better i gotta get on the phone with them hey when you guys uh when you guys come to philly um if i bring gold Bond with me, will you bond? Yeah, absolutely, dude. Oh, that fires me up so much. Dude, I mean, I don't want to step on your boy's toes here, but if we're there before your wedding, we're down to bond. So we could replace them.

Oh, shit. Oh, yeah. If you could have an all-groomsman who just bonded. Yeah. Dude, it feels so good good can we call one of your buddies who doesn't bond uh not right it's pretty late right now where i'm i'm in pennsylvania so no but just give it a shot they're cool guys who doesn't bond yeah call one of the don't bonders well i mean that guy probably drank a glass of milk a couple hours ago and went to bed. It's worth a shot.

I can, I can text the number. Yeah. So how did it feel when you first bonded? Dude, it feels so good. It feels like Elsa's tickling my ball sack. Brother,

I've been on the bond train past two weeks because I've had a bit of a crotch, crotch incident. So I, I totally totally i'm thinking i'm bonding for for every day now how did this how did this uh how did this thing come about when did this origin what was the origin story dude i have no clue like i thought it was like a thing and i looked it up on urban dictionary does not exist that's even cooler you just made it up yeah one of my friends just made it up. I'm like 30 now, but we've been doing this since college.

Wow. It's just been a thing that we do. When we get together, we have boy day. Can I shout out all my boys? Shout out your boys. Yes. We got Will. Yeah. We got Ben.

Yeah. We got Josh. Yeah. We got Tyler. They all do it. Legends. They're all bonders and then the schmoles john and dante and adam they don't do it the fuck are you doing did they never do it they never done it i think i think they're under the impression that like we like do it to each

other but we don't wait you don't do it to each other oh but we don't. Wait, you don't do it to each other? Oh, but you shake hands. We shake hands afterwards with them. We wash our hands. We're not heathens. I don't know. You are from Philly. What is your fiancé... Oh, bro, it's on. My bad. What does your fiancé think of the

guys who don't bond? She thinks it's weird that we do it, but I think she's just jealous. Yeah. Does she bond with her bridesmaids? No, you can't do that if you're a woman because you can't get gold bond on there, you know? Oh. Yeah, that'd be a problem.

It doesn't work that way. They don't slap hands after they've been snail trailing all day? Whoa, dude. No. No, I don't like slap hands after they've been snail trailing all day? Whoa, dude. No. No, I don't think they do that. Shit. Yeah, they call that the Philadelphia cold. Philadelphia sinus infection.

Oh, God. Are we grossing you out? No, not really. This guy's a beauty, dude. I'm glad we called him. Dude, this is the bondsman. This is the bondsman. The bail bondsman.

Yeah, your boys are the bail bondsman. Yeah. The boys who won't do it. I ought to start calling them that. That's a really good name. So that's crazy, though. Eight years and they haven't done it no like i don't know like maybe like have they never shaved before like i'm kind of worried

about these guys yeah i don't know man i got big thighs i don't know if it happens to you my dude but like if i don't like bond up it'll turn into like you know fucking sierra nevada valley down there real quick and just one tinder and it's fire season yeah yeah bad too much heat too much heat way too much heat sorry that friction city population my fucking crotch bro do you ever have you guys ever had like a long day and not had that and just felt like a different person than you are not not often my man all right sorry no have you bonded with your dad oh with my dad yeah no i gotta i don't talk to my dad oh sorry let's call him that's a long that's a long-term thing yeah i hear you sorry man send him a send him with a gold bond thing in the mail are you kind of like he'll

know what it means are you kind of the big brother to your friend group though i like to think so i can feel that they look up to me i can feel that you've filled that paternal role with others in your life so i respect the way you've uh yeah thanks that was probably the best compliment i ever got in my life wow i'm feeling it dude you're throwing heaters yeah yeah yeah we smoked a fucking pothead you wish dude i know well dude when we come to philly we'll come see you man yeah we'll bond we'll bond for sure all right i rsvp'd to the event already when you guys come to philly nice i'm just waiting for that email dude dude the ticket link dropped today oh nice oh it did yeah maybe i i'm new to this software so maybe i but the ticket link i think

is up there yeah let's shout out that website when are you guys going june oh june nice yeah yeah will you be around i'll be. You'll see me with the bond. I'll be holding up like a boombox. I will see you then, doggy. Bond like a boombox. Love you, man. Love you. Bye.

See ya. Bye-bye. He's a good guy. He's a good seller. No, I'm going to be there in May. No, May. April. Should we call this dude?

Yeah, let's call another guy. Let's call this guy. Hi, guy. It's me. What do you think about Taylor Swift? I like her. I don't like her music, but I like the idea of it. Hello?

Hey, man. How's it going? Doing very well. How are you? Dude, we're just chilling, man. It's good to hear from you. You're here with Chad and Alec? No way, man. How are you guys doing this evening? Good, man. It's good to hear from you. You're here with Chad and Alec? Oh, no way, man.

How are you guys doing this evening? Good, brother. What's up, beauty? Hell yeah, dude. Happy Leap Day, fellas. Yo. Happy what day? Oh, Leap Day.

I thought you said Weed Day. I was like, is it April? Well, that's it. Yeah. Nice. So what ails you, my friend? Dude, honestly, not much tonight at his concert you know i love this dude are you partying right now yes sir dude that's awesome how's it going it's going great man it's set break you know a little album release party for the kitchen dwellers the kitchen dwellers oh you're in bozeman

yes sir dude nice dude that downtown goes off whoa kitchen do what do are they uh are they a ska band um they're like a bluegrass like yeah oh yeah bluegrass do you know my dad dude i don't know are you my dad dude it's your dad dude so so break down the album release party what's what's the what's the sitch what's the race dude it's a you know the race could be better but it's sold out couple nights oh they're yeah they're from bozeman so they come back here to do an album release party yeah get the whole the gang out yeah it's good old time are you i have a question what's the ratio uh of brewery flat brim hats to

uh fucking dreadlocks good question oh we're going way heavier on the dreadlocks okay i can see that for sure oh that's gonna go late that's gonna go that's a late party all right so cowboy boots got a crowd that's a sick combo what bike shop are you guys doing after hours at dude the after hours we go go downtown, you know. You're familiar with Bozeman, correct? I've raged there a few times. Guys, for a sec, dude. Dude, I'm a chiller.

Hey, do you know my boy Michael Maves? No, it's Mitch Maver. Do you know Mitch Maver? Mitch Maver, that's my boy. Mitch Maver. I'm here with one of my coworkers, Mitch. I don't know his last name, so maybe. Is he from Massachusetts?

No. All right, name, so maybe. Is he from Massachusetts? No. Alright, nah, fuck him. My friend has a warrant out for his arrest in Alaska. What'd he do? Keep an eye out. Yeah, keep an eye out. He's a fun guy. He's a really good guy. What'd he do? He stole

three ski-dos, or what are the things called? Snowmobiles? Yeah, state property. How'd he steal three? Three ofiles? Yeah, state property. How do you steal three? Three of them? Yeah, three of them. That's what I'm thinking. Did he drive all three at the same time?

Yeah, he drove them all drunk. What? Dude, he must have three thumbs. Yeah, he was a legend. Damn. He is a legend. He lives in Bozeman. Dude, that's like my buddy Joey Mammo got brain dead riding a snowmobile.

Yeah. Did you ride a snowmobile to the concert? Oh, that would be sweet. I'm going to do that next time. Beauty. That'd be tough in downtown. All right, dude, we got to let you go, man. You coming back to Bozeman anytime soon?

We'll be back soon, man. Sorry, yeah. I love it there, dude. It is a fun time. Have you done shows out there yeah i want to did you gotta go um oh wait he's still here i think we should let him go yeah we'll let you go brother we'll let you go love you man love you later dude yeah man have a great night peace good guy beast the way my babies react to cell phones and stuff it makes me think

that technology goes so deep into our beings that it made me believe we are in a simulation and that we've always been a part of technology no it's just a thing that lights up now but there's other things that light up and it just doesn't have the the pool you got to see what happens it's a blue light but their eyes when they see it i know but dude this is stuff that's been like genetically engineered to get our attention but and a baby has the most amount of attention to give but that's true that's all true but think about life you ever think about life where you're just born how do you know if you're born into this life knowing it's a simulation that ruins it you're here to learn

something we're entering a video game not aware of it and then when we die we return back that's what it is that is 100 we're in a video game and right now we're creating the video game for future generations and it's just cyclical the game deepens yeah it burrows inside of itself i like you guys doing this well that's the rotation of life as it burns in reality i get the rotation yeah i understand you're not a roto guy dude i think i'm back into catholicism i'm gonna be honest yeah i'm getting back in no way i never really was in i was never raised with catholicism but i was bro here's the thing here's the thing you bad dude i'm a little well father pat was a pervert yeah i mean all they all were

and they like rich people too much i know they don't they don't rock with the poor the way they should here's the thing i think they do a good amount no way heaven is just returning back home when you leave the video game yeah i don't believe in any of that i'm more so i'm just about like punishment believing that there's yeah the punishment aspect of it i'm doing a lot of davinci code stuff in my room okay i'm a little opus day guy yeah i could see you digging that but that's strong yeah dude i i well i think it's just the idea of letting go of control and saying there's something there's something all this stuff is going on i'm small i'm little there's a greater plan going on and as long as i just do what i can a lot of this stuff will be out of my control and hopefully it goes my way i don't think that's dissimilar from the simulation

thinking either though they're both about like distancing yourself from feeling like i'm special yeah but i think similar people that say like we're in a simulation excuse me then think they can game the situation simulation yeah they're like no but i'm gonna break out it's like now no i think i think i actually kind of resign myself to the fact that it's not as important as i think it is but there's actually a relief in that and then i think i can be more joyful okay which i don't think is dissimilar from what you're trying to do we're both chasing the same release truth and beauty when did we say that we were talking about aldous huckley's aldous huxley's brave new world it was like the guy offered he said would you prefer safety and comfort or truth and beauty oh i remember this was a t wallace's birthday yeah yeah because you

were cooking on the romance thing but i know you're full of it i know hollywood's gonna offer you the bag and you're gonna jump bro what do you mean the bag you're gonna go for it dude you're gonna package that package you're gonna package it my package is pretty average brother no no come on it's strong i really believe in it yeah but that's what it is that was the the trade-off that they made in the in the book the book was we've made everybody happy and we've given up now like books and learning and pain and feeling because all those things like that's truth beauty and struggle like with it with beauty has to come pain struggle sure plot duality yeah what do you think about most of the day um i try to kind of just think about like my set mostly and like my jokes and then like i have a pretty scheduled day up until like noon

so you think about your set most of the day yeah i do a lot of writing all right i'm doing a lot a lot of writing and then uh but a lot, a lot of writing. But other than that, man, I try and just always, I got a book with me that I always try and read. A big thing with me is just always kind of like reading a good book and having like a source of escape to something to focus on outside of it. But you don't want it to be pure escapism. You want it to be escapism with some nourishment. Yeah, it's fun.

I mean, it's like you get to learn stuff. Like every Sunday, man man like my sundays i go i i get the newspaper delivered to my house i get that which paper you get the times no new york times that's crazy no it's awesome i get you know which one i get what do you get dude wsj baby i think we talked about this too the journal dude i can't believe you're reading the time i have no hackapalooza i have i have no use for like fucking ads that are like all right apple stock is down 15 points like i don't give a fuck that's moving how you live that's moving how you know but dude i want to learn about like this town in fucking china in like japan or korea has been making kimchi the same way for three years but

because this cicadas have unburrowed in the like just this year now it's it's all fucked like they have little fun stories about like you know stuff overseas and in america that are really cool yeah i just think they you know what i feel they're biased too much on the larger scale stuff do you skip that page no i read all the big stuff right up front and then i i do that i do the sports and then um the opinion and uh do you like wesley morris i don't know that guy specifically he's their film critic at large he can bring it that guy's got a mean pen wesley his thing on jennifer lopez was he brought the heat on her oh yeah i've seen this guy on bill maher

i mean uh there are other film critic quick because he says there's no more movies to talk about but wait uh sunday you get the paper i get the paper and then i go to the diner i get steak and eggs and then i sit there for like an hour and a half and i just read the paper throughout and then i'll go back to the house i'll like watch a movie or just kind of like take a walk and like my sunday is kind of like my reset day like what do i want to do during the week what's my plan what's my schedule and then just kind of relax and then at night i'll i like to either get takeout or i'll make myself pizza or um like a nice pasta dish or just cook on my own like i like shakshuka sh Shakshuka is also an easy one. What's your morning schedule?

Usually wake up at like 7. I walk my roommate's dog. And then 7.30 I'll journal. And then like lately I used to meditate. But now I'm just praying because I can't afford my meditation app anymore. So I'm like that's like I'm not paying 10 bucks. Do you really believe in god i don't know man you just like the practice of it i think i like the practice of it i like the

mindfulness of it and you know it suits you it like fits like aesthetically i think it's just nicer just to be like you know think about you could either like take ayahuasca or do all this ketamine therapy or i could just be like you know what it's god's plan let me just let me just be relaxed let me just try and be mindful in peace with the way things are working yeah you don't want to add too much into the mix too much and keep it simple with what you know and yeah and then from 8 to 10 i uh i write and from 10 to 12 i'll edit or do like other admin stuff i need to do you work out every day yeah i try i try and just do something active either like run or yoga or roller hockey or workout do you go do you hot yoga yeah i do i love hot yoga oh do you go to i got a culver hot eight yeah me too do you go there yeah what do you what class you do i usually do the the soup the hot power fusion i like hot power for you i'm

a sculpt guy oh you go sculpt sculpt with tiffany k you're really making it all right we'll have to do the class together sculpus celia's a beast too i left my uh my mat there the other day i did and or literally tuesday and i called them today being like fuck off my mat dude and they're like my boss has the entire lost and found yeah in her car right now i'm like oh so it's gone yeah that's what they said i'm like what does that even mean like you guys grew wait so what's tougher sculpt or the fusion sculpt for sure sculpt because that's weights weights well sculpt is technically yoga you do like some flow in the beginning but it's more of like a workout yeah like a weightlifting cardio kind of class i mostly do yoga when i feel as though my

all my shit's really tight i like to get jacked up i like to get jacked up too but i get i just i don't know i'm a pussy no you're not all right let's see what this guy has to say i thought that was a nice moment yeah i can't take a compliment i'm really so wait where were you guys getting hyped up on uh yoga yoga we go to the same yoga class but that's what gets you hyped up i like yoga a lot yeah i was just saying i like like hot power fusion is like slower stretching i like to get jacked up i like you want the heartbeat going yeah uh definitely hard i mean i still i find it hard i just i think i'm just fucking built like such a fucking brick shithouse that it's like.

Yeah. I need to just stretch out as much as I can. What kind of brick? Fucking concrete. Thick brick. Red brick. You do have a, you should show people, you got a big ass. I have a huge ass.

I knew you had it right away. I was like, I was like, you were like, I played hockey. I was like, you got a big ass. And then you were like, yeah. It's not's not it's crazy you got an absolute shelf nice dude it's nice dude i got a small one it's tough to build up it's very tough it's been years of bulgarian split squats those are the tough like so you put your foot up on there and get yeah in preparation for a league i never made it to we try did you want to go hl i honestly all i want to do is play college hockey growing up yeah that was it because that's all we would go to as kids we would go watch bcbu northeastern harvard we would go to all those games yeah and

that was like the thing we all wanted to go so that well and like the miracle on ice there was a lot of bc guys on that a lot of bc and bu guys yeah that's what's up it was so cool those guys were beauties what's yeah what and they all got great names right yeah it was mike ruzioni that's my favorite mike ruzioni mike ruzioni who do you play for mike ruzioni went through massachusetts i played for the united states of america dude when they finally get it it's such a good movie we used to watch that all the time growing up none of us picked it for best sports movies and a lot of people were like up in arms like oh yeah you miracle yeah oh as you make miracle it's niche no you know what it's very neat there's just a lot

of movies like it and i think kurt russell doesn't get his flowers on having some good movies like he was unbelievable in that movie yeah costner kind of took him to the cleaners costner did i think i think a lot of those parts oh yes yes yes yes for sure like russell was just always kind of nipping at his heels a bit costner was up there just swaggered out kurt russell's kind of a cool guy he's the best yeah and him and goldie hawn nice relation yeah nice relate never married but been together for a long wait really never married oh really yeah but always boyfriend and girlfriend kurt russell's like ah can't really settle down his god i'm not ready his hogs on the internet is it oh yeah i think we looked at it once yeah was he in the fappening uh this is pre-fappening i think he's just like remember the fact he just dropped that was sad yeah the fappening ruled i

didn't look at any of it i was a good guy i saw hope i saw hope solos all of her fucking she's on there oh man she's attractive hope solo one's pretty the hope solo one is crazy you got a sick look on your face oh dude you just see so much b-hole it's too much b-hole it's b-hole it's like it's c-hole it's puckering b-hole i was not okay with it i was like some girl just had a dick in her eye that was one of them i don't know if this bad i don't even think that was a celebrity yeah yeah i was just regular this is becky from subway yeah i looked at all as soon as i heard about it i was like oh my god that's terrible right and it's out there you're not like keeping oh no click click click i guess i did look at the sex tapes though like i've watched tommy lee's i've watched kim k's i don't care about that no i saw i remember look there was a picture of because you're too young there was a picture of

kate upton and justin verlander yeah that was on there they were both naked yeah he how's verlander verlander looked very funny because he was just wearing jeans and no shirt and then like cupping kate upton's uh honkers dude the way he made it was pretty funny he wrote it was like a very much a prom picture yeah it made me laugh he wrote on a baseball and tossed it to her is that how they met met? Yeah. Ah, what a king. Dude, his load's all over the net. He's a pitcher, too, dude. He's fucking, he can throw.

He can throw. That guy's an animal, bro. Dude, yeah. He can play playoffs, too. He was a great pitcher. He's a good pitcher. Did he ever win a, he ever won a? He won a couple, I think. He won a couple?

Cy Young's a World Series. World Series. I think he's got two. Look that up. Because he was on that Stroh's team. He has won two. Okay. That's got two. Look that up. Because he was on that Stroh's team. He has won two. Okay. That's pretty good.

That's respectable. Dude, Nolan Ryan never won one, did he? Nah, man. No, wait. He did. He won one with the Mets. His first one. He was a rookie.

He wasn't on that Mets team. Yes, he was. And he was older by that point. No, it was not the 85 Mets. It was like the 68 Mets. He was not on the 68 mets yes he was no he started in the 70s swear to god saw a documentary no see he's born in 47 it was the 68 mets then in the 1969 world series right oh you piece of wow okay god damn it i told you how did you know that i saw his documentary dude i wanted to cut

that i wanted i wanted to see the the full video of him just pounding a guy's head in oh robin ventura yeah it's so good but because he fought bad in his first fight he knew he had to get over it and they had all that old photo like he was like in california he was playing for the anaheim he was playing for anaheim for like a while and nobody gave a fuck well he could throw what like 100 at like 50 yeah he was he was crushing this is a great fight he's so ready i don't know i like robin ventura like you knew it wasn't gonna go well because he hesitated immediately immediately after getting hit he looked at his bat like should i do it if it's not like a split decision like in your head i have to fucking pound someone's face in

probably don't do it i get so much joy from someone charging the mound it's one of the most beautiful moments in sports it's like the decision right there yeah but that's like too delayed like and then he's slowed down but i think they always think about it go for the fucking spear what are you doing yeah they don't do that are there any more good fights yeah jake baseball ones jake can you look up Milan Lucic, the shift? You got to watch this guy. He goes in. He's an absolute...

Milan Lucic, I don't know if you remember him. Watch him coming out of... Bang! So this is like one shift. He just takes everyone's fucking head off. Bang! Second guy. Oh, so he just goes crazy this whole time? He goes crazy. That's awesome. Bang. Second guy. Oh, does he just go crazy this whole time?

He goes crazy. And then, boom. They're about to score. And then I think he scores a goal on this, too. Oh, here we go. Boom. And then he goes gloves off. And then I think he pounds

this guy no way dude he was i mean he was my favorite guy ever he came to the bruins dude and he was just an absolute menace. Like, look at his hair, bro. I love the gloves. Ad for Ocean's 13. It's coming out soon. That's awesome.

The crowd is just going nuts. Coaches just go, yeah, nice, nice, nice. Very good. But yeah, this is like one of the best shifts I've ever seen. I love his look at the end of that look at this yeah pick your fucking head up pal pick your dome up right here bang get out of here smell you yeah dude he's a mean guy all right i i when i played hockey i'm kind of a masochist uh i would just get you know i could skate but i'd get the puck and i just get tossed into the boards but i loved it yeah it's you it makes you feel alive yeah and you survive yeah and you're like yes

felt good there's something about sports where it's the lesser, like hockey wear a lot of pads, obviously. Yeah. But I just think like hockey players are just not as big as like a football player. Right. You know? Yeah. It's just like I look at quarterbacks that get like hit by a D end. Mm-hmm. Like not only are you being hit by a guy that's 10 times bigger than you, then he's falling on you.

Yeah. And you're just like pancaked. And you're like, what the fuck is this yeah hockey guy you know yeah he might be like six two but you know you'll get up yeah you'll be all right maybe not all the time but it's weird i think hockey's gnarly because you're the the speed from skating yeah i mean they're getting bigger and stronger that's the craziest part about it and then just two guys guys skating, and then landing on ice. Yeah.

There's some crazy hits out there, man. I mean, you look up, like, Paul Correa, one of the best hockey players that could have ever been. The Ducks, baby. Yeah, and he's American, too, right? Yeah, I mean, he had to quit because he kept getting, he had concussions that were like. Did, like, Scott Stevens kill him?

Scott Stevens, like, actually murdered him. Like, it was the dirtiest hit you've ever seen. Scottvens was an animal scott stevens like should not have been in the league but that was the old that was the old uh when no one was scoring in hockey yeah no one was scoring anything that nets team that would just like death lock i think it's right there first one paul off the floor off the floor on the board. Also, this is also crazy. So he got, this hit happens to him. Watch this hit. He comes back, right, and scores.

He comes back and scores the goal. But he's like dead. He's legally pronounced dead. Jesus. And dude, I think, was this the one where Jean-Sebastian Giguere was the goal? Jean-Sebastian Giguere, very good. He was getting like 60 saves a game in this one. Yeah, he was electric.

This was big in Orange County. do they have full fake face no no no they just do they just do shields oh look what happened happened tell him to get out of the way mike babcock what a fucking coward hey there's these people skating in my way had to hit him it's not my fault yeah but look at like this hit. It should be suspended forever. I haven't seen the hit yet. Can we see the hit, Jake? I think they'll replay it, I think, right here. Oh, right there.

Yeah, there it is. Dead. Oh, sorry. So the puck has been released. I don't know why that excited me. Fucking five minutes go by. All right, now he's back on the bench. Dude, it is crazy with concussion stuff now.

Like, it's better these guys don't get back in the game, but I will miss moments like this, or Brett Favre one time throwing a touchdown that he doesn't remember. Yeah. Like, after the game, they're like, what about that touchdown? He's like, I don't know what you're talking about.

And look at Steven. He's out there on muscle, muscle memory. Watch that. Yeah, he's back on the ice. Here comes Paul Cororea look at this boom flying up slap shot goal what a guy how are you goddamn doing off the floor on the board paul korea number nine it's beautiful did you guys watch shane gillis snl did i didn't watch it i watched some of them i watched the monologue i watched the whole thing actually yeah what'd you think i was like i'm so no i finished it uh i thought it was great

yeah it was so cool that he did that i mean such a conquering hero i thought he seemed to uh look he's the best but i thought he seemed a bit nervous during the monologue i heard yeah my buddies said he was nervous yeah which i it was understandable i think honestly it's the pressure of all of his peers because we all look at him as like this like yeah i think that that would weigh on me i uh it's a lot yeah you know i thought he's nervous but i thought he made it his own what is this vulture why shane gill is bombed on snl yeah i mean they anatomy of a fail they all just wanted to dude dude shut up it's so annoying on both ends because like now if you're like one of these vulture type people no matter what he does you're gonna say he sucks yeah and then no matter what

criticism you have of shane if someone's like a one of his fans like hardcore supporters they think it's because you're like offended by it yeah they can't think you have like an opinion that's not rooted in that av club their headline was shane gillis is back on SNL because apparently he's okay now. And then LA Times ran one where they're like, has he changed or has he just toned down his rhetoric? I was like, neither. He's doing the exact thing he's always done. I'm excited to see his TV show. I remember

that YouTube short that he did. I would watch that. That looked really funny. He's a really good performer and writer. He's just the best right now. My friend had the funniest review of cumtown where he was like dude they still say gay like that was like his he's like you gotta listen they say a lot of stuff is that still going um friedland it's the friedland show i still watch that if they have someone on it like i mean nick mullen i think is like a genuine genius

so funny dude yeah his brain's insane yeah he's crazy some of those riffs he went on like i'll listen to the youtubes on him and i'm just like in awe they had chet hanks on the adam freeland show i you remember did you meet chet hanks you remind me of him that's kind of a big compliment thank you i appreciate it keep going keep going no you remember he was at he was at um he was at trevor's he was at trevor's party i was like hey man i don't want to geek out but huge fan and he goes oh thanks i was like because i took a picture for him earlier for of him and his friends i was like can i get a picture with you with you man he goes sure thing bro

yeah i got a picture i'm like do you want a bud light he's like no i don't drink bro i was like he doesn't he gets jacked word up he's he's got an energy to him yeah he's powerful he's so powerful watch this story he's like you need to be fucking jacked you need to be fucking jacked if you're not fucking jacked you're not living life he's he's an absolute beauty i mean he was huge was he like not like fat but he was just like you could tell yeah you could tell he's stacked and he's really fun dude he does that patois that like really uh offended a lot of people like he was doing like a jamaican accent yeah and uh everyone's like you can't do this all the comments were jamaican people being like this is really accurate so like i mean he's not without talent no he's i

mean yeah i mean that was never the problem i think everyone's problem was saying like, oh, you're Tom Hanks' son. I'm losing steam. I'm going to be... Let's do the call. Let's do the call and bring it home. All right. I might get some Mexican street food after this just because I'm fucking...

I have two beers and I feel crazy. That's fun. I know. I don't really give myself a lot of time to have fun anymore. Are you worried about like the weight gain? Yeah. Bro, you look trim, dog. I know. I don't really give myself a lot of time to have fun anymore. Are you worried about the weight gain? Yeah. Bro, you look trim, dog. I'm at 186.

That's solid. You should be. I'm like a fucking brick shithouse right now. Let's see my voicemail. A brick shithouse is a good thing. Wait, do you think- I never do that. Do you never leave a voicemail?

Every time I call my friends, I leave a funny voicemail. Oh, you do? I love it. It's my favorite thing. You don't like a good voicemail? I leave long ones. I'll go a funny voicemail oh you do i love it it's my favorite thing you don't like a good voicemail i leave long ones i'll go a minute and a half i'll do this all right so let's do let's do a mock voicemail okay you ready i'm calling you yeah okay what's your voicemail hey you've reached chad's phone uh please leave a message after the beep i love you that was a good machine thanks hey how you doing mr chad it is mr flynn down here at the school.

I know you really don't like to be interrupted during your work hours, but young Aberforth has had another incident. I don't really, you know, I know we have our checklist and things we go over with your wife. She has been picking up, but he jizzed on the calculator again. Father! Are you picking up i jizzed again see he's doing it again i i'm sorry we're on speakerphone father he's really sorry about it he knows he is damn it hello okay hey mr mr chad how are you yeah what i'm in the middle of a meeting okay look my son came on the table

again god not just the table it's the calculator sir this is god this is the seventh t83 this month and uh at this point we're gonna have to charge you i'm sorry jimmy it's abberforth abberforth jimmy graduated abberforth you little shit dad why you can't come on a desk like a regular kid. You gotta come on the calculator. Who even uses that anymore? You don't use your iPhone? What the fuck? I'm sorry, I didn't mean to. You're gonna come home and spank the shit out of you. No, Dad, please, no.

I think that might enhance the problem. I think he enjoys the negative. Oh, you like it, you little fuck. I think he likes that. No, I don't like it. Father, please don't. You're sick. You just wanna bust your load all over the house, huh little fuck. I think he likes that. No, I don't like it. Father, please don't. You're sick. You just want to bust your load all over the house, huh? No. I never envisioned this when having a kid. We never do, sir.

We never do. All we could do is try and do our best. Listen, I'm going to leave him here because it's been a math test, and it's been hard for everyone to really concentrate on their division while he's been splooging all over the calcs. Allcs all right i'm gonna have my assistant pick him up marge marge yes can you pick up my my son he's busting loads in school again sounds just like his father yeah i know that's why i started this company it's latex oh you you want me to bust a load on you Maj Oh my god reminds me of the Cancun trip Yeah that's right

We had good sex there That was good You're too much Dad what are you talking about Son you know I was born with a wrench And I can't control myself I know dad I'm just like you You want me to take a picture of his penis again for the records

yeah i want to be proud of my son's cock okay i'll put it in the christmas card all right good i'm so old to be your secretary yet you still love me much here's the thing you're the only one who understands the plight of having a huge cock and destroying your own life because of it if my husband finds out we'll be ruined oh god i know ernie you gotta cut back to the teacher listening oh wait ernie's here ernie why are you showing up at my work hey what the hell's going on in here uh nothing mr mr kofax abernathy you've been busting loads on my lady it's not true i knew something was different no no please you've been actingusting loads on my lady? It's not true. I knew something was different. No, no, please. You've been acting different ever since you started working for this jack of all. Ernie, you haven't taken your medication.

No, I'm good. I don't need my Lipitor right now. What I need is to hear straight out of your lips what's going on with my old lady. Ernie, Ernie, we've been through this before. The bonus, the Christmas bonus was pure eggnog. That wasn't my load. It was good eggnog, too. Cinnamon inside. I made good eggnog. No, it wasn't eggnog. I drank it. It didn't taste like no eggnog. That wasn't my load. It was good eggnog too. Cinnamon inside. I made good eggnog. No, it wasn't eggnog.

I drank it. It didn't taste like no eggnog. It tasted like semen. Yeah, my eggnog tastes like aloe vera. Aloe vera is very good for the skin. I was doing wrenching around the house and you kept saying it reminds me of Mr. Abernathy. Yeah, I got a wrench. Everyone knows this. I'm sorry. You have to find out this way. What's the teacher doing? We gotta go back to the teacher here's the teacher yeah so okay uh good so i'm gonna leave

them here and whenever you guys want to come get them um that'll be good okay all right sounds even the guy's getting cheated okay sounds good teach yeah sounds good teach thank you all right have a good one guys all right you know that's probably true too that like when there is something at school it's probably happening at home yeah of course it always is it's usually how it goes i'm glad we got to do that but that's usually the kind of voicemail i leave dude getting that voicemail wouldn't that be crazy that'd be pretty epic with three people i wish we had left that for that guy wouldn't that be great yeah we should have done that damn all right should we bring this home yeah big al yeah there's a play wait no we gotta call this guy oh we're calling him still

i thought i didn't pick up all right should we call him and then yeah let's call him and then do the uh yeah should we just call dante and leave a message and not call this guy oh it's just this guy already didn't leave let's do this call don't should we just call Dante and leave a message and not call this guy? This guy already didn't leave a message to do this call. Let's just call Dante. Let's leave Dante a message and Dante won't know it's us. Because Dante probably doesn't...

Yeah, this will be good. Dante. All right, so I'm going to call his... I'm going to be... Go, baby. Stone Cold Steve Austin. I love that. Do you do a good Stone Cold?

Your call has been forwarded to voicemail. The person you're trying to reach is not available. At the tone, please record your message. When you have finished recording, you may hang up. Hey, Donde, how's it going? I'm Stone Cold Steve Austin. Listen here, man. We got two problems here.

Number one, you ain't bonding enough with your boys. I'm talking about you ain't taking that good, good old powder and putting that right between your nuts. Number two, you ain't taking that good, good old powder and putting that right between your nuts. Number two, you ain't drinking enough beer. Alright? I got Batista next to me and John Cena and they're telling me, you ain't drinking enough beer and you ain't bonded

too much. What the heck are you doing? You sick son of a bitch. You bond with your boys. And right next to them is none other than Bret Hart. Hey, listen here, man. If you're one of the boys, the boys put gold bond on their balls and they slap hands with the other guys.

I mean, you know, if you're a real deal, you know, top of the card, WrestleMania guy, you got a gold bond, man. And I'm going to come down there to wherever you live in Pennsylvania and I swear to God, I'm going to kick some ass. I'm going to slap you in the face with gold bond and then slap you in the face with my balls. I mean, guys like Ric Flair, you know, and Macho Man, they never gold bonded with the other guys. And, you know, you'd be in the bus and it just wasn't the same. You know, they're just prima donnas, kind of front of the plane types, if you ask me.

Me and Brett, I swear to God, before every single time that we go up, we bond. Right now, we're bonding. Right now. Ready? Hear this. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. No, when it was me me and stone cold bonding you didn't even have to script it i mean i could just feel him in the ring he had the technical prowess to just get those nuts nice and lathered it's just telling me you got sweaty nuts brother okay so you gotta ask yourself do i want sweaty nuts and cold beer all right i want some cold beer i don't want no sweaty nuts you'll give

me a hell yeah i mean i definitely hell yeah mean i definitely you know i had some beers on the road with the guys but i never let it get in the way of me you know hitting a good gold bond with anybody any of the fans especially the german fans were huge for the gold bond i'm not really sure what accent you're doing right now that doesn't really sound like brett hart does that not sound like brett hart no man i'll tell you what you sound like my dog after i ran over him in the driveway oh you know that's brett you know brett gets hot he could get the crowd real fired up with his talk but the thing of it is is like you know i could be your dog but once we get in the ring i'm wow i forgot we were leaving a message we were just riffing yeah we were just riffing wow what a gift for that i don't know what batista sounds like yeah i know i know it was that was that's dave batista you could have just been

like guardians of the galaxy you'd be like hello i'm dave batista yeah oh yeah dude was jacked one of the best rigs hello i am dave it's me i was in guardians you could just been like i was in guardians of the galaxy i know dave you know dave yeah he's jacked he's a rip guy you know there's a story speaking of fights the the the urban legend is that booker t put a whooping on him oh really yeah backstage i could see that booker t's a pretty pretty tough guy he's such a cool guy booker t one of the best that's the next one next time time we do this, I'm just going to have you be Booker T, and you're going to have to do Black Voice.

Hulk Hogan. That's pretty good. Brother, I'm coming for you. So, The Rock? What about, can we do The Rock? Can you smell my nuts after I bond? He's cooking uh he's getting roasted out there huh yeah he's back in wrestling because he has nothing else going on don't the audiences hate him they want cody they want cody rhodes to be the main dude that's good that's i mean the entire wrestling

industry is about um edging pretty much and the thing about wrestling is yeah you gotta you gotta make a guy you gotta build a story, you got to build a story. If you don't build a story, you don't get the pay. And the thing with these modern guys is they don't ever really put in that, just that detail. Thanks.

Thanks, Brett. Yeah, you know, the thing, he never, The Rock never put on a good match. A lot of charisma though. Sorry, I've been waiting to do that. I love Brett Hart.

I love Stone Cold too. He's got a great podcast. Yeah, he's a good match a lot of charisma though sorry i've been waiting to do that i love red heart i love stone cold too he's got a great podcast yeah he's a good guy so you're telling me you're coming on here telling me that i should be having 30 grams of protein per day just him on a on joe rogan that's crazy man i want to see him on like a home goods podcast where it's like all right so if i take some of my old baskets you're telling me i can repurpose them as uh floor mats for my mudroom get the hell out of here what kind of podcast should stone cold be on murder mystery conspiracy you're telling me wait a second you're telling me that the pentagon was hiding trillions of dollars

and the government no because no shit man aliens came down they built those but he could be on one of those like what's one he would like never the daily the daily he'd be hosting the daily about bees and how they're going you're telling me they're getting rid of gender affirming care i'll tell you what you're not going to extend. You're telling me they're getting rid of gender affirming care? I'll tell you what, you're not going to believe this. There is a small coffee shop in Portland that is only employing trans people with Down syndrome. I use the

pronouns. I say they. He is good on that stuff. He had a good thing, dude, about being accepting towards alternative sexual lifestyles. He was powerful. It was funny. Coming from him, he's the right dude.'s the most strong you know you wanted to be a guy like that when when uh when covid happened and it was like when mass started up one guy commented he's like he put a post he's like i'm putting on my mask i'm putting it on i'm going to grocery shop my guy's like

come on man don't put on the mask that's a symbol of tyranny and he just goes shut up dude hey shut up man hey shut up man bill burr you're out there you're doing stand-up comedy it's so great to see you man bill burr i gotta tell you i've been a fan for years yeah i've been a fan for years yeah man and because some of the stuff's real blue do you do you like working blue yeah i i like doing voices and funny funny cut up stuff what's another good voice do you like to do different voices and like to like to stretch your legs a little bit i'm not a big voice guy but i like being goofy fired me up it likes being i like being goofy and silly. Yeah, it's important. I love being goofy for sure.

I wish I had a podcast like this where I could come on and just be like, all right, now we're just going to do a character and just see what happens. Well, we'll have you back. That's a good way to end. We'll have you back on here, man. It was so much fun. That was one of my favorites. A blast.

Really? We'll do some prank calls. We'll do some prank. Oh, man. And guys, check out Alec Flynn. He's one of the best comics going. You can see him all over Instagram. Thanks yeah any plugs yeah um if you guys i will be in austin texas march 27th at the vulcan i'll be in houston uh march 30th at the riot um dc

april 10th arlington draft house uh philly april 11th punchline please uh please come out if you can see me all that stuff's on my instagram at big al flynn and uh you know it's my first year on the road so if you can really make it out i know the fans of chad and jt are absolute beauties so if you can make it out you want to see a young uh dumb ass making his name in the comedy world i would really appreciate it it's a beautiful narrative before you fucking just sell before i sell it what would i sell out for you're gonna do it dude game show it's gonna be me and amy schumer you're gonna have one show train wreck yeah she's an older woman i'm a pool boy i think you guys are gonna host a game show together what's it yeah what's it called it's gonna be called locker loaded and everybody's in a locker and like so some of the boxes have

locks and some are loaded with cash and you don't know until you open oh that's all wait did you just come up with that yeah that's pretty good that's a pretty good show i mean that's kind of the it's a little deal or no dealers i mean. But they're all the same shit. Lock or loaded. We could sell that. For sure, dude. I've been trying to sell a script that's all about panda diplomacy, but we can talk about that a different time. You told me. It sounded very obscure.

Yeah, it's crazy, man. I'm going to read the paper too much. Thanks for coming on, man. Yeah, thanks for having me. You guys are the best. It was fun. If you need advice These guys are really nice You want to know

What to do Where to go When you need someone to guide you Just a half-hearted side You call me Bye.