Going Deep with Chad and JT - Ep 334 - Fishy Business (Classic Solo)

Episode Date: March 20, 2024

#goingdeepwithchadandjt #podcast #comedy Today is another classic solo pod with just the bros but this time we did it live. The bros really BOND on this ep. We take lots of calls. Our homie gets fired from a fish store but we dive deep with him into some solutions to clean his tank.  If you want to interact and chat live while we record, we will be streaming every Monday on twitch:https://www.twitch.tv/chadandjtgodeep Grab some of our merch here! Appresh the support!https://shop.chadandjt.com/ Come see us on Tour! We just added 20 NEW CITIES!!!! - TIX HERE: http://www.chadandjt.com Call or text us, leave a summary of your issue or question: 323-418-2019or write in to chadgoesdeeppodccast(at)gmail.com(Start with where you're from and name for best possible advice) Check out the reddit for some dank convo: https://www.reddit.com/r/ChadGoesDeep/

Guys, before we begin this podcast, we have a massive announcement. We have a Twitch. What up? Twitch stream. Chat and JT go deep on Twitch. I think you can do twitch.tv slash chat and JT go deep. Follow the Twitch. We're going to do it Mondays at 1 p.m. Pacific.

We're going live. It's going to be like the unedited version of the podcast. And you can talk with us while you watch. We'll have a message chat up. So what you say you want us to talk about could be what we end up talking about. Crazy. Unless you say some punk shit. Yeah.

But even then, maybe that's what grabs my attention. Because that inflammatory stuff is what gets noticed sometimes. That's what I'm talking about. So if you want to get that full unedited version of the episode that week, tune in to the Twitch on Mondays, and you'll be there with us. You can chat and say what up. What up? Also, huge event this weekend, Sunday at noon, Blacks Beach, San Diego, California.

We are going to change the world by breaking the world record for group Perineum Sunny. And bro, we got to call it out. We're stressed because it looks like it might rain on Sunday. Yeah. here's the thing about perineum sunny here's the thing about breaking world records come rain or shine we show up and i think it's even more powerful if we do it under a light drizzle absolutely no matter what we're gonna bear our taints and we believe in the uv power cutting through the clouds and cutting through the noise of modern society and cutting through the bullshit of elections dude absolutely let's start the podcast oh wait yeah april 1st oh yeah live special taping for strider wilson me and chad will be there it's

an outwater village a paperback brewing company two shows shows, 7pm and 9pm. Come in, watch history be made by the history is dank legend Strider Wilson. His links for ticket links are in his Instagram bio. It's going to be epic. We've been watching him do this material. It is so good and you're going to want to see it live.

Yeah. Kudos and credit to Chad for making those links happen too. He was dealing with two uh total luddites and he pushed us into something serviceable so thank him thank him big time i'm serious it's big oh thanks big shout out to you guys for making it happen it was scrammy dags up until that point all right bros how's your mom your mom's in town my mom's in town yeah she's good uh dude we had a good night we uh before the show we um she came in yesterday we took the dog to the dog park. We ordered. I've been a big fan of Organico.

Have you heard of Organico? Yeah. I love Organico. I get their stir fry. So we got some stir fry and then we watched the Imagineering documentary. You've watched that one before. Many times. She loves it because it's like artists collaborating to create stuff.

And it's the best. We're going and uh it's the best we're gonna do it again tonight watch it again no it's like six episodes oh cool yeah we were watching episode five and uh i think we might backtrack we're gonna finish episode six and then maybe go out watch episode three i love watching stuff out of order yeah how's your how's your family they're good thank you um kids are good they're cute they're little bejubers just bejubing all day and then you know sometimes they they change on you noises that used to make them laugh now make them cry with the boy i i do this mocking tone when he cries and of late it's making him cry now. It used to make him laugh when I did it but he must have got hip

to condescensionist. He's like you're making fun of me now? I think he gets real excited. Why are you doing this in my moment of weakness? And I'm like it's a good question. And then the girl she's just a bejewber of all bejewbs. She's just like

rolling around and they're they're getting close to standing which is also neato and then uh my girlfriend she's great she's the best you know she got me drinking matcha and she got me making it at home because she she's on this big kick that we got to make more stuff at home did she so you've been going no caffeine i think matcha has caffeine right but but for me no coffee yeah so was that your idea your girlfriend's idea it was her a joint idea i want to say joint but it was her idea yeah and how are you enjoying that it's actually been better really Really? She was right. You have less anxiety? For sure.

And I'm crashing less hard and I'm less manic at night. Okay. And so do you feel like more like level headed? Yeah, probably. Do you feel happier? Yeah, probably. But I don't like, happiness to me is like, I don't even like using it as a measurement for things. I don't even like thinking of it as a

concept i think it's a fool's errand being happy yeah i just don't even think i like thinking of things like do i feel like there's meaning in life do i feel purposeful do i have energy for life i like using those words more i think happy if you ask someone are they happy they might say yes if you really dug down into it i'm sure there's a lot they are not satisfied about right so to me it's just a weird way to kind of summarize things i think it's a i don't know yeah i don't i don't i don't love it what about joyful yeah i like joyful so happy you think of happy as sort of like a a weird content area. But you think of happy as like someone's whole being. If someone were to say they're happy, you'd say that their whole being is happy. And you don't think that's possible.

I don't know. It's just like it stresses me out. Right. It makes me unhappy to think about happiness. Okay. Gotcha. Like I think if you're asking yourself, am happy right you're probably not happy right now i'm just kind of thinking of it as like conceptually i think joyful is a better word i like that more for sure because if you're joyful

if you're feeling like inspired you're feeling like you have like a love for life that feels more joyful than uh yeah no i'm getting tripped up on it or like am i like you'd be like am i laughing a lot like i'm laughing a lot yeah yeah i think that's a good measurement yeah i don't even know what happy looks like right like i get angry a lot i have a lot of uh like combativeness in me yeah does that mean i'm unhappy i don't think so right but i think people would say that's unhappy behavior and then i would say what's happy about putting me in a box that feels very unhappy to me right to constrict what my emotional expression is. That feels fucking lame to me. Right.

See, me getting up like that? Yeah. That made me joyful. That made you joyful? Yeah. So, you like the reactivity. You like being reactive. I do.

To stimuli. Hey. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I do. You know, when it's yeah so if i were to say um not drinking coffee is for bitches i like that i don't like it but i like that you said it right so you you like you like energy yes you like energy and i like if that's the truth do you

really feel that way right don't drink coffee no i think it's actually very strong and something i'm unable to do well you know what i like it both ways i like it if it's what you really mean and i also kind of like it well yeah coffee's got its uh it's got its it's got its hooks on you i think i think being able to not drink coffee seems like such a uh foreign concept to me now you know what it is dude it's i've been taking a lot of naps during the day i'm just okay with being tired right yeah i don't like it i don't like i don't like then don't drink coffee you don't really have many vices no no no i i'm saying i i i don't like taking naps oh you're like burnt burnt all that way yeah yeah no i i uh my

girlfriend's able to sleep a lot she she's able to take huge naps i take a nap for more than 30 minutes i freak out i'll wake up i'll be like oh you know i get that have you ever taken a nap where you get so deep in sleep where it's like an hour and you wake up and you're like where am i what did i miss it's disorienting yeah it's uh you're like is it the next day like and it's it's like day to night you don't know if it's four in the morning four in the afternoon it just kind of throws you i do like power naps that's always nice you get like 20 minutes where you're like did i just sleep there that's awesome um what do you guys so who we got in the chat getting my ds makes you happy good for you eli getting a blowy see that never worked for me that doesn't make you happy no well i think i think

i think the i felt like i accomplished something i think the acquirement of the bust makes definitely makes me less joyful yeah you know what i'm saying so you you once you're unhappy when you come once i've excreted the skeet then i'm like oh why did i do that you're funny that way like the things yours i think you're typically so full of meaning, purpose, and joy that things that other people do to get there actually send you the other way. So, like, you're, like, unhappy when you bust. Yeah. You're kind of unhappy when you do drugs. Like, you prefer not to label you, but you prefer to, uh the the the i think it's the anticipation

yeah that's your favorite part yeah i even even like i think the uh the anticipation of uh well i guess it's like when you're thinking of like the sexual conquest or whatever like that's awesome when you're thinking of like doing a fat bust into inside of a you know a nice my girlfriend that's well said uh you know yeah uh i um but you know i guess connecting with my girlfriend does make me happy so i guess i was thinking more of like the hookup where you're you're like especially when you're like single i like the hookup where you're like, especially when you're like saying, I need a hookup.

And then the next day you're sort of like, you know, I know. I hear you. There was something, uh, meaningless about it for me. There were sometimes it was awesome though.

Yeah, sure. Oh yeah. Yeah. No. Hey, I mean, look,

yeah. Yeah. Well, cause. I mean, look. Yeah. Yeah. Well, because what I mean is, is that. What? Like it. Yeah. That's what happens. Well, because when I was young, too, before I ever did it, it's all I wanted to do.

And I don't ever want to forget that. So anytime I do it, I want to be grateful that it happened. Right. Interesting. I'm letting the dogs loose eh this is kind of making me happy uh i want to take a call yeah i think we need that all right cool we're in loopy loop land let's do it population being my dog dude mom lem's in here. What up, Mom Lem? Mom Lem I think might be the most devoted live streamer

commenter. Across all platforms, too. Dude, yeah. Good point, Ian Plachy. Knowing you're gonna rage fires you up. It fires... The anticipation of the party fires me up more than the party.

I would say when I was in college. Can you hear us? Hello? There he is. Hello? What up, dude? Hey, what's up, man? Oh, dude.

My dog. How we doing? Good, man. How are you? Dude, I'm doing really good. I'm fired up right now. Dude, fired up on you. What's your name, friend?

Or do you want to stay in on what'd you say there what's your name or do you want to stay in on dude i'll say my name my name is ian um a lot of my boys watch the pod with my girl my girlfriend doesn't watch it but she fired up and i like it so oh that's nice are you in in the chat I like it. That's nice. Are you Ian in the chat? Yeah, dude. That's me.

Oh, you're the fat barrels guy. Dude, you know, I try. Hell yeah. Yeah, I'm in Del Mar right now. I live in San Diego, but my mom's in Del Mar right now at this dang house. Sweet. I'm going to go out in like an hour or two to go strut some waves, dude. I'm stoked. Sweet.

So what's going on, brother? Well, dude, when I first called you guys for a beef, it was over my boss because he was being a total D-bag. But I got fired. So that's not really a beef anymore. You got fired? Yeah that's not really a beef anymore you got fired yeah but like it's i mean you know 19 i mean i'm in college so like it's not a big deal but um that's like kind of my my the like why i called you guys in the beginning but now it's just like i'll chat it up with shan jt you know what i'm saying wait so what was our advice and what was the first issue?

Well, so I didn't call you guys before. I just, I got called in to see if you guys would answer. And that's what my beef was. But since then, it's been pretty much handled. But yeah, my boss was just being kind of a schmole and it was an ish. But now, you know, it's not really much of an issue anymore you know what i'm saying what was he doing well so i mean it's kind of it's it's kind of calm i don't know so i work i i worked at a store like uh aquarium fish and uh it's uh it's something i've been liking to like i've been uh been enjoying for a few years

now it's kind of it fires me up. So I just moved down here and got this job at this new fish store. And then this guy was just kind of like not letting me, I don't know. It's hard to explain. He wasn't letting me do what I want to do. And he would like blow up on me for the littlest things. And I'd just be like, listen, man, I'm here to help you, you dude i'm not here to mess anything up and then he latered me so i don't know if it was just me or you know what i mean does that is that common in the fish store industry

honestly dude it's strange it's a it's a really uh particular community man people are really entitled you'd be surprised so yeah it is kind of common you know what and what was he entitled about so so like basically he's a he knows like freshwater fish he's all into like the corals and stuff like that and then your boy is about like the freshwater with like when it comes comes to like, you know, plants and things like that. Like I, I love, I love plants, dude. I love plants. So, so when I would give him suggestions on stuff to do with like freshwater, which he

didn't know anything about, he'd be all pissed and like, you know, we need to save money or whatever. But I'm like, you know, I don't know. I'm just giving him suggestions from my expertise. So he doesn't have expertise and he would just later it so it's kind of an ideological clash exactly exactly yeah it was it was a bit of a a power struggle on us and did you end up uh when you guys would have your disagreements would he raise his voice um he wouldn't necessarily raise i mean it's funny because like when he texts me he's like he'd shoot me with all caps but like in person he'd be like pretty nonchalant so and also like the big thing is too is i had

this other worker there that was a little higher up than me and apparently the boss would talk hella shit about me to this guy and then this guy would be like yo patrick said this about you dude again i'd be like dude yeah i mean you know one of the 48 laws of power is never outshine the master you may have outshone your master dude dude that's so true yeah you were like one of those lantern fish yeah and you were shining too bright yeah exactly dude and a big old shark found me and just got my ass well he saw a bigger shark and you know he ate you well he saw a potentially bigger shark maybe you were a juvenile shark like a juvenile tiger just roaming the seas of the pacific osh and then he's like that guy's gonna grow up and

he's gonna eat me so i better eat him first so what i think you should do is you should start your own fish store with an emphasis on freshwater plants and he let go and like andy elliott says bankrupt his ass dude great call yeah i love that is there a part of you too that feels like maybe he was right because i've honestly never heard of anyone who's into freshwater plants and aquariums yeah that's funny because i get that a lot, you know, it's a, it's a pretty small community, but like, I don't know, I got into it like a few years ago in high school and I've just been loving it since. So like, I'm starting to get into like environmental science and stuff like that for my major. Cause I just love the plant science.

Um, but when you're, you're to your question, uh, I mean, probably I don't, I'm not much of a business, uh, genius and it was kind of a startup. So, you know, a few of my suggestions may have been a little bit outlandish. Um, but the thing is, you know, there are suggestions, right? So I'm over here, like trying to think of cool things to do. And he, you know, he wouldn't only just turn me down. He'd tell me like, listen, man, you're out of your play. It's like, you're not supposed to be doing this. And I'm like, I'm like, dude, I'm just trying to,

I'm just trying to fire off ideas for the, for the store. You know what I'm saying? What's your favorite freshwater plant? Dude, great call. Oh, dude. Well, I don don't know i would probably go with uh if you guys want to shoot up a look up a picture of what jungle val looks like i fuck with jungle now it's pretty cool again so you hit your boss with things like why are we selling goldfish when we could be selling jungle val dude exactly yeah it's all right i'm just kidding well i i do but like at a certain point you'd be like hey enough about the jungle yeah i'm just joking and also like

nah man our story's jungle valve dude we could have a whole row of jungle valves instead of these clownfish. Did he ever try any of your ideas? Any of them? What did you say? Did he ever try any of your ideas? He did. Yeah, he would try them when there was more people on my side. If I were to bring something up by myself, he'd be like, yeah, sure.

I don't know. I don't know. And then he'd kind of shoot me down. But if I talked to this other guy I was talking about before, he'd be like, yeah, sure. You know, I don't know. I don't know. And then, you know, he kind of shoot me down. And then, but if I talked to like, like this other guy, I was talking about before, I'd be like, yo, he's got, his name was Manny. I'd be like, yo, Manny, don't you think this is cool? And he'd be like, yeah, that's cool. And then we'd both go up to him and he'd be like, oh yeah, that's a great idea. So I don't know. I mean, I'm 19, man. I'm, I'm, I'm just like some blonde white idiot. So he probably was just like, this kid doesn't know

anything about like business you know what i mean so it makes sense you know maybe i was a little out of my place but go ahead it seems like yeah it seems like you're a dreamer you're an idealist you're young and i feel like when people come at you with a ton of ideas you're sort of like you know you might be a little bit like all right shut up like we're here to sell betta fish uh so when you're like bro why are we why don't we get rid of betta fish and angel fish and just sell jungle val you'd be like dude that's gonna put a serious dent in my fish market margins yeah because that's what i was just thinking it's like jungle val doesn't look like it's gonna make you much money back yeah it's just grass dude i mean that costs about

50 cents to get and you sell it for about 51 cents you're killing me dude that is hilarious and so when he did try the ideas that you and manny both uh supported did they work hell yeah they did dude oh okay yeah that's the thing like i'm a i'm a personal guy like like and so is the business like i get customers in there that would come in like multiple times a week and we'd be like, you know, I would know everything about what's going on with them. And I would, you know, and same with the store I worked at previously, it's like, I'd have all these customers. And then, um, so like when, when, when new things would be added and they'd ask me about

it, I'm like, yeah, dude, that was me. You know, I just thought that'd be good. I don't know, man. I think, I think you took a big L by later in me bro yeah it sounds like you're an asset it sounds like lots of talented young uh you know employees athletes studs whatever you know you need to rein it in a little bit but you also understand that there's that you have a gift and you want people to see it yeah yeah you know just uh like icarus bro Flew too close to the sun, dude. Yeah, stay in the water, brother.

What did he say when he fired you? Dude, great question. So I was crushing in and out before my shift, and he told me to come in like half an hour early, so I pulled up, and he's like, listen, man, we're going to have to let you go and he told me um uh that i was uh that i had gone rogue i wonder what you should call this guy i gotta want to go dude i know

what's the store called dude i, I'm totally calling it out. It's Aquarium Fish Depot in San Diego. All right. Dude, it's a great location. It's got a lot of good stuff. If you're into the fish market, dude, all my stokers hate it up. You'll get some jungle. Wait, so why did he say you went rogue?

You'll get some jungle. Wait, so why did he say you went rogue? So he, so there were, there was a bunch of issues about what I would do to the fish that are in the store. So, you know, fish get sick, fish, you know, there's all sorts of things that need to be done to the tanks for the fish to be safe. And like, I would like medicate them and stuff like that. And he would not like that. So at one point I medicated these fish and then a couple of them ended up dying because they were sick. Obviously that's why I medicated them. And then he's like, yeah, dude, this loss of fish is too much. We're going to have to let you go.

That was kind of like the, the, the straw on the camel's back, I think is the phrase. You know what I mean? Yeah. I think that's an interesting, ambiguous place to leave the conversation and to leave the listener. But we appreciate you calling in, man. Thank you. Yeah, D-Day, I appreciate the time, man. You guys are awesome.

Dude, you're the man. For the record, I would buy Jungle Val from him. I think he could sell me on it. He's an interesting guy. Jungle Val. It does look beautiful. Yeah. Look at it just flowing in the water there yeah it's pretty but like a whole aquarium of just that no fish the jungle val store it's kind of interesting i guess i just never heard of it until he floated it well i yeah i was like i i was he's like fresh water plants i'm like i don't even know

what that is yeah i mean people put like rocks and some like little grass patches in there but it's not really the point of it i was i was thinking about i was at peco the other day and i was i saw like they had aquariums and it'd be like a replica of like spongebob's house you can put that in your tank it's like your fish can row do you think the fish is like dude this is like spongebob's house this is sick that'd be cool yeah oh dude uh i i've never watched spongebob so my references are gonna be off but like oh hey it's handsome squidward wait who's handsome squidward again isn't that one of the characters on spongebob they have that someone used that as like an insult i think they do it to dudes when they

get their like jaws done or something oh that's up yeah yeah yeah yeah um squidward's like the curmudgeon he's like the joe of spongebob nice yeah oh so he's probably being grumpy to some fish yeah spongebob spongebob's like uh this is just like a childlike guy he's always feeling good and he's just going through life and i forget the name like playing uh playing and i don't know next caller no but but but i'm curious like what why is that why spongebob was such a hit uh because of his character i think um or just overall what made it so appealing to people it's a good question i think it was i think part of it was his appeal was his childlike naivete and he's like a happy-go-lucky sponge making making crabby patties and uh you know he's like a happy-go-lucky sponge. Oh, that's fun. Making Krabby Patties, and, you know,

he just, anything life threw at him, he was able to kind of like, as far as I can remember, go through it with like a happy-go-lucky attitude. That makes sense. I'm glad that's what kids were into. Yeah. Because Ren and Stimpy was kind of way different. I never watched Ren and Stimpy.

Did you watch that? A little bit. It was like aggressive slapstick. Oh, interesting. You know what was interesting? It was Doug. Yeah, because it was kind of sad. Yeah.

It was. Even the animation was sad. There was a heaviness, like a droop to their faces. That was like, oh, these kids have seen a lot of rain. Yeah. Did Recess, you watch Recess? I did. Yeah.

That was pretty badass. Yeah. The main kid had real had real like revolutionary moxie hey is this michelle this is a girl yeah yeah it's michelle hey michelle how you doing good this is chad and jt how are y'all doing good hanging are you mom lem by chance i am whoa we're talking to mom lem oh my god oh wow it's an honor oh i'm excited to talk to y'all too wow y'all where are you from i'm from virginia nice charleston no no i'm in virginia beach oh how are the waves out there uh they're all right yeah say hi to alan iverson for us does he live out there he's from there oh so uh mom it's an honor to speak with you thank you for being such a

huge supporter and commenter uh what ails you so this is a question for my sister and she's she's older than me she's she's 47 but she doesn't she she's not like 47 she's like probably she acts and looks like 10 years younger so six months ago um she divorced her husband and like you know like they were separated for two years and the issue that she's having is like, there's, she has no idea where to find like good men. And any, anywhere that she's like looked or whatever, kind of looked, but it's just like terrible. Yeah. I guess.

Keep going. Oh, um, she's very successful. yeah I guess keep going oh um she's very successful and um she doesn't need anybody to support her and I think that scares a lot of men

and she has two kids one's um almost 16 and one's 18 so she doesn't you know she doesn't want to have any more kids you know what the hard part is is that where you find the good men is also where you find the bad men yeah oh yeah and sometimes the bad men look like good men and sometimes the good men look like bad men. Yeah. But you just have to keep fishing.

Yeah. I think she's like, you know, it's so new to her. Like she went, she went on the apps with like one of her friends and it was just like, it was terrible. Like, I mean, what if, what if, what if y'all booked a trip to harbor island bahamas together pink sand beach and you put it on the books and you guys go out there as a duo and you do the conch fritters and you have some drinks with umbrellas in them and you ride some horses and make a spectacle of yourself and see what kind of guys you can attract and then if worse comes to worse maybe you just gamble a little bit be at the tables throw down some jing and get irresponsible and then hit a water slide in the morning well well so i'm i'm married

so i don't need any i don't need to look for a guy no but you got but it's fun to be a wingman for a guy no but you got but it's fun to be a wingman yeah um so she goes like different places on the weekend she she was just in costa rica her um perfect her daughter is is she's she does taekwondo and more like take my dough don't trust that stuff in a street fight oh i know well she's she's um on track to be in the olympics in 2028 i think wow oh when it's in america nice yeah and my sister does taekwondo she's done some stuff so she's in really good shape and you know it's just like i think a lot of men are kind of scared to like approach her should she i think maybe she should get in the dojo more and find someone you know good sparring partner you know reminds me of the scene in miss congeniality when uh sandra bollock and and Benjamin Bratt are sparring.

I think she needs to find her Benjamin Bratt. And it's going to take some, she sounds like, you know, she rips it up in the dojo. She rips it up financially. She's got kids. She's crushing it. And, you know, there's not going to be a lot of dudes that can level up to her. And so I think she just has to have patience and sort through,

you know, literally fight through the, the nozzles to find the golden goose. Well, I mean like she's, she's like kind of looking and maybe dating a little bit. And, uh, you like, she's, like, kind of looking and maybe dating a little bit. And, you know, she's not dead set on, like, finding someone right away. So she is taking it slow.

Yeah. But, I mean, just to, like, see what a date would be like, you know, that's what she's, like, I guess, more curious. What was the ex-husband like? He is a true narcissist. Aren't we all? Well, I mean, he's really bad. Sorry, not to dismiss you. I mean, so they're both dentists, and she is more successful than he is.

And basically, he's taken that out on her and you know it's like it it hurts his pride but you know that's what kind of happened so yeah i get it that's tough i'm sorry that she that he wasn't able to uh just happy for. Yeah. I mean, I mean like he's in and out dating, you know, like, like continuously. And so,

you know, she's just like, I, I hope he finds someone like that's going to be her, his next victim, you know? And he, you know,

she wants like nothing to do with them. So that's not the problem she's not hung up on him at all yeah well yeah i like chad's idea the dojo the dojo yeah i mean yeah yeah i i think i think getting out there and just having patience yeah i guess what you're saying is that she wants to know what a date will be like now like she hasn't gone on one so long that she's kind of like curious yeah i mean she could go out on some dates it sounds like she can get some dates and just see what it's like i mean a date is literally anything it's just two people spending time

and attention with one another so i mean go to the grocery store and talk to the cashier long enough chalk that up as a date yeah i i think it's uh maybe she needs to divorce herself from fear and expectation a little bit yeah and also it seems like she's she's you know gotten rid of this guy narcissist scumbag she'sag. She's cut the ties, cut the rope. She's free now. She should revel in this moment. She's got freedom. She has financial freedom. She can fight anyone.

She has dental freedom. You know, I can guarantee she has no cavities. And if she does. I think a lot of neurological conditions come from not flossing. Really? So her brain is probably clean her brain is yeah she's yeah no gingivitis and uh like she is she masturbating uh yeah okay good we have a very strong sex drive even in our 40s nice good oh okay so she's just look it sounds like she's got a real strong engine under the hood and she wants to make

sure it's the right guy she lets pop it well you know she'll find that mechanic yeah sounds like some true american muscle yeah he's gonna have to know how to work a wrench. Yeah, this isn't an import we're talking about. This is a GTO classic. Oh, my God. Get turned on. I'm going to die laughing. All right, well, good luck to her. Tell her to keep masturbating until she finds that guy.

And Mom, it's such an honor to speak with you. Yeah yeah you're the best oh thank you i really love supporting you you too too oh we really appreciate it yeah y'all helped me through a really hard time in my life i appreciate it for sure any call call anytime okay y'all take care have a good one wow what a moment mom lem pretty powerful stuff for uh for her first appearance it was amazing mom lem mom always in the chat you know we love you over here hell yeah jake is always yeah yeah i know dude jake is always like his mom i'm gonna be on yeah because you know it's nice when i put a bunch of time and effort into something and then someone like mom lem is like this is amazing yeah it makes it makes you think hey you know all this time and effort is worth mom lem you know dude hell yeah and i i gotta call out the

chat someone had a hilarious thing where they she should go from taekwondo to taekwondo i think that was it if you scroll up it made me laugh oh yeah she needs to take that taekwondo energy into taekwondo and energy shout out to russ dude is imagine if we didn't have boning how like what would life be if there wasn't sex yeah but not just sex but just the jokes about it you know just being able to joke about wieners and stuff it'd be tough what else brother uh i've been surfing a little bit lola uh my dog it got into my girlfriend's makeup before i came over here so it's so annoying we call the vet and i'm like hey she just ate this like mineral based thing should i worry and they're like oh you could call poison control it's a 95 charge i'm like why they just kick the it's a scam everything's everything's a scam it is crazy how much everything costs yeah and then

like like so like our boy he's got to wear a helmet you know and it it he it scabbed his head up even though they use like nine million lasers to get it fitted properly it still didn't fit properly even after an adjustment. Yeah. I left it on too long. Although I was kind of following their instructions, but then they told me I didn't. He scabbed up a bit. They're all really nice people over there too.

But then he has to get a brand new helmet. Yeah. And thankfully it's covered by insurance. But if it wasn't, it's like five grand. Here's the thing though. No helmet on the last couple of weeks. His head is naturally getting better. Right. That's the thing though no helmet on the last couple weeks his head is naturally getting better right that's the thing that's the thing is like the medical is like they're like it's almost like with vets with pediatricians and stuff they're like you need to do this you can do this to ensure

i'm like well what did we do for like centuries before it seems like most people turned out pretty okay. Like, I don't know. I guess you want to make sure that they develop well, but it's like, you know, or even with dogs, the amount of vaccines they're like, you need like, what about the flu? And I'm like, are you sure the dog needs like 10 vaccines? I think dogs are doing just fine. You know what I mean i i hear yeah

i just i just started disagreeing with myself halfway through you disagreed with yourself a little bit yeah well because i guess for like the the makeup thing i'm like he'll be fine and then the the helmet thing i'm like it's fine but actually i think most vaccines are probably good right the dog ones are kind of like there's the core that you get you get rabies and distemper parvo you got to do those ones the other ones there's like a lot of adverse reactions i met a dog the other day that was blind because of the flu vaccine uh the and i'm like dogs get over it they get get like Bordetella. Like, oh, they have Bordetella. The Bordetella vaccine, they're like, it's for one strain.

But they usually, it's kennel cough. They usually always get kennel cough and they get over it. Right. So that feels a bit too prescriptive. It's just overkill. Wait, how do they know the dog went blind from the vaccine? I just met this lady on a walk and her dog, her eyes were all fucked up. And she's like, the dog was completely fine and then she's like i got the dog i got the

flu vaccine for this dog and she had an adverse reaction the eyes were all like it messed up her eyes and she and she was they had to get an operation to like permanently blind the dog. Oh my God. So, and the vet was like, yeah, it was from the vaccine. So, I don't know. Should we take another call? Yeah. All right, yeah, let's keep it pushing. Hey, what's going on, man?

Hey, dude. How you doing? What's going on with you, just chilling here with chad dude what up i'm uh dude i wanted to call you guys to get you guys well i guess two things wanted to tune you guys up to sumo wrestling oh yeah hell yeah sumo do you do sumo or you just watch it well that's kind of part of it right so i've been watching it now for like two years um there's actually a tournament going on in japan right now that happened every two months um it's like a 15-day tournament freaking awesome it's just every day like 25 30 matches huge dogs 350 plus pounds just tackling each other

it's a great time um so i've been watching it love it love the culture of it love like everything about the tradition the way they enter the ring the way they bow how they build the ring it's all fascinating shit and i want to do it right so i found out that there's the largest north american tournament that's hosted out in la in may uh that's an open tournament so i can just roll up and just do it there just show up and compete in this tournament but i'm kind of worried about getting my ass kicked because i've never done it before. Yeah. I mean, you're for sure going to get your ass kicked. You should 100% still do it.

That's awesome. I want to do it. It's such a good idea. But do you think, like, should I, I guess my concern is like, if I show up and get my ass kicked, kind of part of, I think part of the reason why I like it is the tradition and the culture of it oh you feel like you'll be disrespectful yeah yeah that's exactly it right like i almost want to like pay homage to it but i feel like if i show up and just get you know pancaked what does that mean are you japanese no no not at all you know what dude this reminds me there was this tv show on mtv back in the early aughts called the buried life where these guys would travel around and do things that were on their bucket list and one of them was to compete in a crumping dance-off and they were white guys

and crumping comes from a black tradition and so they were so worried about seeming like they were making fun of it or being like you know shallow white dudes that they almost didn't do it but then they're all good dancers for one which helped but two they put their whole heart into it and so every move you could feel their sincerity and you could feel their love for what they were mimicking and i think you'll have the same thing yeah i feel that i think that makes. Are you trying to get in sumo shape? Kind of. I'm more so just doing the traditional sumo training techniques,

which are you basically, you do the classic stomp, right? The one that everyone knows where you pick your leg up and stomp it and do like a bodyweight squat. You've got like 100 of those. And then they have this thing called pepo where you like slap a pole basically for like 30 minutes straight uh so i'm kind of just doing that and just getting as like comfortable with the movements as i can the good thing about american sumo is that there's weight classes right so like i don't need to worry about going against the 300 pound guy it'll be a guy in my weight class um what do you wear yeah i guess i'm like 210 if you don't mind me asking that's

solid you're solid um did you play football do you have any background in like anything that's kind of uh similar i mean i like to play basketball i'm like a i'm a big body in the paint when i play basketball and that's kind of what i'm leaning into is like it's like boxing out but in reverse right it's boxing in right right exactly dude i think you got to do this and if it's in los angeles i'm gonna come yeah dude you got to do it hell yeah dude you have to do you guys you guys should you guys should come and also uh you should compete i think i think the open is technically like i wrote this long dissertation to the u.s sumo open to try to get like my entry and they were like uh yeah sure dude like who are you um but it seems fairly open you know what i was a backup running back on my terrible high school football team but i was very good in past

pro i think i i kind of have a good skill set for it and I think if I put on 30 pounds I'd be in your class so maybe I'll start bulking but dude I honestly I don't think you're gonna be disrespectful I think you know in your heart of hearts you're not gonna be disrespectful you're just not a disrespectful dude so to me the only thing that's stopping you is fear of getting pancaked and my friend there's only honor in that so go forth and fight until you can fight no longer. And dude, getting pancaked feels good. It's real.

It's honest. I played hockey. I would get pancaked all the time. I was laughing every time. You got to go, man. Don't be dull and unheroic. You got to go. And if you get pancaked, that's a great story.

Like 20 years from now, you're like, oh, I got pancake doing that. Wheelie Daddy says you'd be disrespecting the warrior in your heart if you don't do it that's the only word you have to honor i think i think all that makes sense it's just i think it's the compounding effect of i would get pancake wearing a malashi right wearing see now you're starting to piss me off now you're starting to piss me off because now i don't know if you really want it. Now I'm starting to think this is just something you like to talk about. Do you actually want to do it? Look, I definitely want to do it. I'm training. Now I'm getting pumped up.

Now I'm going to start yelling back at you. Yeah, let's go. Push me back with your words and tell me you are that sumo motherfucker. No, I'm going to do it. Let's go. I'm going to fucking do it. Let's go. I'm going to sign up right fucking now. Let's go.

Send a photo of you in the Wabji And send a photo of you signed up Send us the thing that says hey you're officially in Yeah I will dude I'll send you guys the form today And when I compete in two months I'll send you guys the fucking video If you're not there to compete against me

I will be there brother I might not compete but I will be there I will compete there, brother. I might not compete, but I will be there. I will compete. I will compete. Yeah, dude, remind us. I think you're in touch with Jake. Send us all the information. I'm going to compete. Yeah.

JT, I still April to sign up. Copy, copy. Dude, you just fired me up. You're the man. Sign up, dude. You got this. Yeah, and check out the Japanese sumo, man. Check out some of those highlights. Just type in Basho, B-A-S-H-O. You'll see some highlights of the most recent tournament. It's badass shit, man. I know you guys all care about sports in different ways. JP, probably more for you. But the individual nature of it, Chad, I think you'll like that too.

Hell yeah. You guys are bad fucking dudes. And the ranks change all the time and like how you reach certain statuses is sometimes like uh based on how much honor and class they have as opposed to how successful they are and it's wow so cool that's cool we're gonna watch it right now man thank you dig it dig it all right guys love you man kunichiwa fucking love your shit man keep it up super uh surreal to be talking to you guys so uh keep it up. I saw you guys in New York when you were over here. Did they call it the ring? The dojo.

That was way off. The soft jam. The dojo, dude. Thanks, dude. Later, brother. Can we watch some of this? Will you pull it up, Jake? Some basho sumo? Basho basho. Basho, basho.

He's a good guy. He's going to do great. I think he might win. Look at that. He loved to see it. On grip on Nishiki Fuji. Nishiki Fuji just waiting for Ryuden to start his offense. Now Nishiki Fuji has a double inside.

Moro Zashi, can he do anything with it? That's so awesome. Yuden attacking with a double outside. Because they're not self-conscious about the outfit at all. Yuden getting set. That fires me up, dude. But Nishiki Fuji. Look at all that cake.

Stopping Yuden's charge. Dude, call me crazy, but I think getting pancaked at the tournament will be more fun for him. Will be more fun for him than winning. I think so too. I don't think he wants to dominate one of these guys. I think he respects them so much he just wants to, you know, give them a chance to dominate him. Yeah.

He'd love it even more. For sure. It's just a big trip. He's got to book a ticket and stuff. It's more the logistics I think that's a pain. Once he gets there, he knows what to do. I love big cake covered in oil yeah amen brother amen what's the longest i've gone without jaying off six months you've gone six months yeah without jane off when i was 24 when i first quit porn yeah might have been seven months honestly were you boning yeah for

the first time but there was a two-month stretch where there was nothing of anything damn i didn't know you damn yeah how'd you feel uh pretty good there was some days that were really hard yeah i would say there was maybe 10 days where you're like i'm losing my mind but for the most part you kind of just go back to you you kind of return to your baseline i had a lot of i felt proud of myself like i remember one time i went out with a friend and i told him i was going to do it and i brought it up to him i was like dude i still haven't jaded off he's like i didn't bring it up because i thought you would have given in by now i was really proud of myself that's all i did it oh someone asked how was the first night after the six months when I jayed off? It's funny.

I do remember it. Yeah, it was really good. It was right after my brother's graduation party in Notre Dame. I went back to my hotel room, and I just slapped my dog, and I was drunk, and it was phenomenal. I remember when I took a month off. No porn either. And then I looked at porn after a month. It was like an explosion, like a sensual explosion that's what you want make it count make

it mean something just like a nice b-hole I was writing down I'm trying to do a bit about I was writing down my addictions the other day I think my three main addictions are porn my phone and talking mmm phone's got me good yeah yo yo what up what's going on boys freaking chilling dude kicking it how you living oh yeah uh getting by as best as you can you know it sounds a little sad what's going on? Can we take a moment of silence please like next five seconds for what? I just want to take a moment of silence for all the guys who have stepmoms and stepsisters out there Where's this going? Well, I personally have been a victim of this um the over sexualization of

stepmoms and stepsisters is pretty prevalent in the adult film industry and i had a good buddy of mine at the bar last week just like a neighbor but he's not a part of like my direct friend group haven't seen this guy in a while but we saw each other from across the bar and i was like yo what's going on bro and whatever drinks flowing and he asked if i ever thought about hitting my uh stepmom up and we're i mean we're both above the age of 21 and i told him i said she's been in my life since i was three you know that's my mother and i was completely thrown back dude i if i didn't know him and i wasn't in a crowded place might have resorted to violence because it's kind of one of those things where you feel like a dirty dog when you go on to those websites and you see the stepmom category And I just feel bad because it's always that thing that's just hidden in the back of your head where it's like, what the fuck is going on?

I mean, some of the most popular categories tend to be, I don't even want to talk about it, but 18, stepmom, stepsister. I just think that's a little too much and it's putting a burden on everyone with step parents or siblings well what makes you come hmm uh probably memories for real oh okay so for you it's mostly like hot women you've seen or hot women you've been with and you kind of just uh have a little uh nostalgia for it it i fell in love with that when i'd be out with no service and you got to do the deed and i actually recently uh lost my old phone uh going snowboarding and i had a lot of uh good memories on there but it felt good to push that sailboat away forgive me for this question but it's coming from chat and i gotta ask did this guy's question at the bar touch a subconscious nerve i'm talking maybe a deep dark fantasy might have um i don't know it just didn't sit with me right because you know growing up i mean

shoot porn has been in the life since ipods existed. I mean, I was part of the, I'm 22, I was part of the generation that was handed an iPhone and iPod in middle school and devolved its hormones and told to go to bed at night. I mean, and so exploring these desires, I became disgusted at his remarks and was more threatened by the mindset of there are sharks out there. There are men. I mean, I feel like a shark sometimes. I go into the grocery store, and I see a like-aged couple having a great time, and I get taken back to like i said memories and i just think there's a lot of sharks out there and that uh right you feel protective over your this triggered something in you where now you realize that some of your friends are lusting after your stepmom

well like i said this is just a neighbor that i knew he wasn't he wasn't a close friend um i would never surround myself with friends like that but i just think that it needs to be represented in the matter of uh mal subconsciousness going on in younger aged males and even older aged males that have led to the so you think you think the you think the the prevalence of incest porn of stepmom stepsister taboo porn you think that's actually creating more of a desire for it you don't think maybe the desire for it is what's created the porn 100 i would say it's mutually reinforcing because taboo was the most popular porn in the 80s and that was about having sex with family members of different distinctions so i think it's always been there i think that

the thing about porn is whether it's that or the the young thing or the cheating stuff it's the taboo is what really gets us cranked up and you're you're gonna have a hard time rooting that out of humanity the taboo that's what i was afraid to hear yeah you can't it's in there for whatever reason what's ever in our brain there's something about when you cross those wires the pop gets bigger. And I don't think you're going to be able to root that out. So I think you just have to accept that life is one of chaos and that people are going to want to have sex with your stepmom. I'm sorry.

Speaking of chaos, JT, now that you're a dad, when's the last time you maybe fixed something on your car by yourself or changed your oil? Because that's going to be something that you have to pick up when you're young and get a little bit older this was a huge pivot dude uh you're coming after me i i i went to uh jiffy lube and had the oil fixed about a week ago and i tipped well fixed yeah see this is the terminology man that uh yeah see this is the terminology man that uh but but but i have accrued resources that allow me to outsource those sort of jobs so i can focus on other things you were just talking about how much stuff money how much stuff costs nowadays

with money and that's something you could reduce the financial impact look look i am aspirational that way and i do endeavor to do more of the stuff you're talking about but i'm not going to have you come on here with your tone and put me in a box that's making me look like something you think isn't what i'm supposed to be brother put you in a box i left that box pretty wide open with saying you still got time to uh mend those mechanical malfunctions in your automobile let me ask you something did you bring this up because you have some kind of mechanic fantasy where you're changing oil and then a lady comes along and changes your oil. Or is that taboo? It was actually somebody's stepmom.

And I was the shark. So you like stepmoms? Sometimes. Sometimes I lift up the hood of my car. And I tend to just reach around on all the parts to make my hands look dirty and then tell everybody about it the whole rest of the day about how I fixed my car. Wait a second. So is the reason you hate stepmom porn because when you watch stepmom mom porn, a part of you thinks maybe I'm watching this because I want to sleep with my stepmom?

of you thinks maybe i'm watching this because i want to sleep with my stepmom i think that's a very wild ride to i think this is contributing to the main goal of what the clarification process on this topic would be is the constant there's a word salad coming from you you're you're talking around things but you're not talking straight. Yeah, so you complained about stepmom, but now you're saying you like stepmoms. I guess I would feel, again, threatened by that because... Because you want to hook up with stepmom. Sorry. Where I have watched it, but I felt dirty after.

I can admit to that. Yeah, that's okay, man. Dude, you don't want to sleep with your stepmom. You're fine. No, that's why I feel threatened by that. But the only reason you would feel threatened is because you feel like you might. You don't need to feel threatened because I don't think you do. The level of jokes.

The jokes would be, I mean, if she had been a stepmom for like a year or two, like my dad's girlfriend. I'd say that changed your dog, but she's been in my life for like a year or two, like my dad's girlfriend, I think that changes your dog. But she's been in my life for as long as I can remember. Okay, so if you met a stepmom out in the wild and you were attracted to her, you wouldn't have any qualms with, you know, giving her the old slap and tickle? I think I'd have to approach it a little bit more maturely, but I think that would be a wild ride. I, you know what else I think is going on here.

I almost think that like the reason you're not into your stepmom is because you have so much respect for your bros that you're like, well, my dad got there first. Yeah. I definitely think, uh, there's a lot worse,

uh, people that he could have picked out of the whole dating pool nice all right well that's just love for a maternal figure all right man well it's good talking to you hey i am gonna work on the car thing man hey it ain't as much as just changing the oil but love you boys see y'all love you too man weird guy that was a lot of twists and turns he was talking around things he was like i'm the morality this is wrong yeah and two yeah sometimes i put oil on my hands hoping a stepmom will come by yeah it was almost like was he more mad at the friend because he's like, hey, I'm the only one who's allowed to lust after my stepmom. I don't know, dude.

You know what? It's not that weird. Everyone's like, it feels weird because it's taboo. But honestly, I mean, according to Freud, people are into their actual mom. So being into your stepmom is even once removed from that. You're fine, dude. Everything's normal. As Yuval Harari said, nothing is unnatural because if it happens it

must be natural what else we got we got options on these calls is there anybody in chat who wants to call if so text the hotline right now uh three two three four one eight two zero one nine hello 3418-2019. Hello? Hey, what's up, man? Hey, what's up? Gold Bond brother, how you doing? Good, good. I'm feeling great. PGIF. Oh, let's go.

Did you bond today? No, unfortunately I didn't. So you do have an update, though. I do have an update. So last time we tried to call my one friend to convince him to bond. Turns out he was a bondsman. I just haven't seen him in a while. Oh.

And also turns out he was the first bondsman. Oh, so the friend that we left the message on, kind of haranguing him for not bonding, he actually came up with bonding. Yeah. I have the, I have the origin story now and it all makes sense, honestly. Like, of course. So just before you get into the origin story, all your friends are bonding. Oh, all but one. There's still one.

Okay. All right. So go ahead. Happened at a church camp. it was a pastor's idea go figure a pastor's idea yeah apparently like it happened like when he went to like church camp one summer like his pastor was like hey guys we all do this and like that's where we got it from so just to clarify for people who are listening for the first time a pastor told your friend at church camp that a way him and his friends related to each other was putting gold bond on their balls rubbing their balls and then shaking hands and he told the youngsters they should do this too i think so

does that tank i think the shaking hands part was our idea, but the bond part was definitely some pastor's idea in 2003. Wait, so the pastor's idea was to put gold bond on your balls? Yeah. But that's normal. What if you have a rash? That's for chafing. No, but they got in a circle.

They still did that part. It was still an event I don't think the pastor's weird unless there's a handshake encouraged in a circle no because that's like guy shit when you're like a teenager that's what you do in the locker room how old were they?

that's true probably like early teenage years i don't know but the pastor's older i know i understand he's an adult man but that's like you know my dad's friends when he told me how to like fruit bowl people like you're just kind of having fun messing around i think because he's a pastor we assume that there's like a creepy sexual component to it, but I'm not sure that's there, just off what I'm hearing. Oh, yeah. I'm not here to call out the pastor 20 years later. I'm just saying that that's the origin story that I've been told. I'm suspicious. All the priests I grew up with were creeps and molesters, so I think that happens.

But this feels uh like no one got touched yeah nobody got touched so everyone just like yeah so this is the original bondsman and but you thought he didn't bond yeah it had been a while since he bonded with us and i completely forgot that he used to do it right why i don't know and i feel kind of bad for it right well maybe forgetting six championships. Yeah. So are you Scotty Pippen? That's a pretty high honor. I don't know. Or Isaiah Thomas? Maybe Isaiah Thomas. Got to work on that.

Yeah. Alright. Well, thanks for the update. Yeah, thank you. Yeah, All right. Well, thanks for the update. Yeah, thank you. Yeah, no problem. You guys keep doing your thing. I was watching the live stream. That was awesome.

Oh, thanks, man. Well, keep bonding. Oh, I'm gonna. He's a good guy. The way he talks about bonding is so funny. Like the tone of his voice is like, yeah, he turns out he's a good guy the way he talks about bonding is so funny like the tone of his voice is like yeah he turns out he's a bondsman maybe bonding really does center you and i think a lot of that stuff is big for camaraderie yeah and when you're that open with your friends that that goes a long way

i might have just grown up in an inappropriate environment though too i remember so many conversations not dissimilar to that with adults like we had a family friend who used to drive me around and he was like i was like 12 and he was like hey man if you ever have anal sex like people say you need lube but you can just like spit on your hand you're like 12 and someone told you that who told you that a family friend and we had and he was like one of many. Like we had other family friends. Not all of them. Some of them were straight laced, but a couple were like, my brother will know who I'm talking

about when he hears this. We had one friend who was like a basketball coach and he would say wild, wild shit. Wild shit. But we enjoyed it. It felt like there was something about it where I don't think I knew he was immature and it made me feel mature that he talked to me about those things. Right. Like I liked hanging out with them because I was like, oh, he's unfiltered with me and

he talks to me like I'm one of his buddies. And I still think of him fondly. He's an awesome guy. But when I think back on it, I'm like, oh, he was just, but it was weird that like he liked talking about that shit with me. Not because I think he got like a perverted kick out of it, but because I think was like oh they kind of think look at things the same way i do like he was just kind of immature in his sense of humor like did you ever have like a family friend like i'm thinking of another family friend now who like uh before he went out to dinner with my parents we were

staying at his house and he was like hey and when we're gone, you kids, you know, don't get in any trouble. And then he threw a bunch of Playboys on the ground for us. That's cool. I'm trying to think of, like, I don't know. I guess I had, like, a teacher one time who would talk about eating pussy a lot. That sounds like what I'm talking about. Yeah's like well he's our lacrosse coach and he's back man that goal was he like eating pussy on a saturday afternoon or if he scored a goal he'd be i gotta tell you i'm sporting a woody off that goal which i thought was hilarious right like i loved it it's he's probably my favorite teacher yeah i hope he's still alive

i guess and the part that i'm under valuing is the guy's a pastor he's a man of god yeah i but it is like that like putting gold bond on your nuts is common practice i guess the circle part got me you're right though that is weird to be like all right boys now we're all gonna do it together yeah but uh yeah maybe it was because it didn't involve the handshake and when i first thought of it it was the handshake so then when it got reduced to not handshake i was like it all together didn't feel that bad i would just need some more details on how it went down like did they pass the gold bond around and he's like good now timmy gold bond yeah see i picture more sporty like come on fellas we're gonna we all got ball rashes come on dab it

up and then that weirds me out dude i gotta be honest i'm not doing let me try it again let me try it again yeah let me try it again all right fellas get in a circle now some of you may not have heard but mark has a rash on his balls yeah, we don't all want to get a rash. How's that sound? Dude, it's still kind of tripping me up. All right. What if it's like all the kids are like, Mark's a loser. He's got a ball rash.

And then the pastor comes in and goes, why are you guys picking on Mark? And they're like, he's got a ball rash, sir. And then you go, hey, we all got ball rashes. You're no better than Mark. Throw me that gold bond. If you get a rash on your balls, kid,ashes you're no better than mark throw me that gold bond if you get a rash on your balls kid when you're on this trip it's not a big deal you just take care of it you dab some on there and everyone's like ew that's gross he's like it's not gross everyone do it that's it dude that's how if it went down like that i'm chill with it Like a drill sergeant. Shut up, Tommy.

You old... You couldn't do push-ups in a... In a bar? You couldn't do push-ups in zero gravity? In zero gravity, a big... Put some gold bond on your nuts and get back in line. Busy Aldrin. Do you guys ride jerking off from your women? How do you handle when you get caught?

My girlfriend's so cool about it. I'll literally tell her i'm going to schwack one off and she laughs and then dude she even found something i cleaned up some of my jizz with and i was embarrassed and she was like i can't believe you're embarrassed about that of all the things you could be embarrassed of yeah she'll my a lot she'll be like she'll be like did you jack off recently i'm like, yes. I'm a little bit more timid about it, but we do talk about it. All right, do we have any one more, or are we good? Yeah, I got to pick up my mom in like, so it's 11 minutes there. I don't have any more calls at the moment, but I do have a funny video

if you guys haven't seen this yet. Yeah, pull it up. Quick reaction to it and then we can end. Jesus Christ and I just broke into the pizza hut and I broke the window and I'm here. Jesus is here now. He's back to earth. Alright, and you don't work there? No, I just broke in.

Had a pizza. I'm Jesus. And what was your name again? My name is Jesus. What's your last name, Jesus? Christ. Okay, and what do you look like? I look like Jesus.

That's what I'm supposed to look like. Why did you do that? Because I'm Jesus. I That's what I'm supposed to look like. Why did you do that? Because I'm Jesus. I can do whatever I want. We're tired of Judas's on this earth. We're going to clean this earth up. So what are you up to? Where do you live at?

I don't. I'm from heaven. How did you get over to the Pizza Hut? I'm from heaven, sir. Okay. And did you break a front window yeah i broke the door window sir and you eat a pizza yeah had a mountain dew yeah it's pretty cool that was amazing he's a great guy i like how calm he was when they asked him for his name again he's like jesus kind of sounded like how jesus would be when that happened yeah i like how when

he said what's your last name christ yeah i think jesus he'd come back and be like i need some pizza it sounds good people are asking how i feel about russ wilson going to the pittsburgh steelers i have to tell you when i first heard i was not happy i was bummed i lacked joy um but then i quickly talked myself into it i think we got a good shot at going from nine and eight to ten and seven how do you feel how the niner's doing uh dude i think they're good i heard brock purdy uh got married yeah he got married yeah good for him uh aaron donald retired i saw that are you tripping out on the kate middleton thing dude i think she might be dead really no yeah dude i think she's dead that's crazy it's weird it's it gets weirder and weirder she had abdominal surgery what is that i don't know i don't know why i would knock you out of

commission for so long but i'm not too familiar with surgeries in that area i mean it's so weird because it's like the photograph was she posted a a photo recently, but it was proven to be Photoshopped. Now it's on like Instagram saying it's been doctored and edited. And she apologized for that, right? Yeah, but people haven't like seen her. And on top of that, there's a photo of William and quote unquote Middleton, right? In the car, got them in the car. She's looking away.

People are like, that's not her. in the car got them in the car she's looking away people are like that's not her this has become more commonplace right to believe that people have been replicated or cloned or that there's some kind of like robot version of them yeah and here's the thing i don't understand this but her senior staff didn't know about the abdominal surgery. Interesting. But what is abdominal surgery? A hernia? You have to recover for three months from that? Definitely not. Maybe she has cancer,

doesn't want people to know. That's probably it. That would be horrible. I think they're winding up their marriage, which is why she's been out of the spotlight. Have you done a hot goss on it? I think next week. Yeah, I think you're winding up their marriage, which is why she's been out of the spotlight. Have you done a hot goss on it? I think next week.

Yeah, I think you got to. Appendicitis. I think appendicitis is pretty common. Dude, I have a beef of the week. Contrarianism has just gone. I'm a big contrarian. I'm annoying as shit about it, but it's just gone too universal.

The degree to which people think they see what's actually going on underneath like the obvious reality is just driving me nuts and like this is a very small way it happens but like dude with like ufc fights no matter who wins if the judges pick who wins people now just automatically would be like no the other guy won the judges were bad and but it will be so obvious that there's nothing going on that it wasn't rigged that one guy just kicked the other guy's ass and people be like no it's rigged the other guy won and i don't i i just i it's my fault i shouldn't read the comments i shouldn't get inflamed by it

but to me it's like the ultimate representation of like how we just need to trust our eyeballs more but it's it's yes there's it does like we are in the age of spin it's like you don't even know what's real anymore yeah people just go so crazy though being like you believe that you believe that right i'm like maybe i don't but i don't i'm not so sure that it's not that right right yeah i'm not i'm not convinced that like i'm seeing the real truth underneath what's being shown to me yeah that's something where i was i'm just kind of like i don't know what's going on and i'm kind of content with that i think that's way better i just don't know because i think for someone to claim that they do know what's going on and i'm kind of content with that i think that's way better i just don't know because i think for someone to claim that they do know what's going on that's i don't think they do no and and look if someone's even going to tell me they think they know what's going on you better

present it very convincingly there's just a lot of like really not convincing people i mean like people when i'm like how could you possibly believe that you're the person who sees what's going on in the world and they're like yeah i know yeah when people are certain about it you're like shut up i know you don't know no one should be certain about anything no i know what's going on but jake don't even start with me i was just gonna say no but you might not know in a convincing way uh chad do you have a beef baby legend some people have been asking for it to come back maybe you could throw one out too um one out too um i got one if you want me to go yeah um yeah go ahead i'm sorry i gotta run in like four minutes okay my baby of the week is strider wilson he's gonna oh is that who yours

was no that's we all should have been saying this yeah because he's got a special that he's recording april 1st uh april fool's day and jt what are the details so april 1st it's going to be at paperback brewing and at water village we're doing two shows we got to sell some tickets for you guys want to come out it's going to be spectacular we got a good team around him chad's going to be opening it up i'm going to be in video village making sure the cameras are in place and we're all going to sit back and watch one of the most talented hilarious performers that any of us have ever met. Just go to work and do what he's best at.

So come on out, laugh hard and feel connected to him in his special moment. Dude, I was watching him last night. He's dialed. He's dialed. And the, the, the, the, the, the having the special in place is making his brain go extra hard and all the jokes are just getting bigger and better and funnier. And he's just like, and they were already great and but now it's like you're watching a guy get prepped for his like 100 meter sprint and he's looking like usain bolt out there if you when you see the flyer in the

next couple days if you guys share it on your page that would be awesome you know all the stokers show strider some love hell yeah yeah the flyer should be coming out momentarily and then there'll be a ticket link and and if you're into your stepmom it's okay i think it's good to end on that that message thank you if you're in if you're your stepmom it's okay thank you guys for tuning into the live uh guys if you're listening to this the recording of this go to chan j chan jt go deep on twitch give it a follow we're going to start doing these lives um and we want to hear from you and we love you guys and thank you to everyone who tuned in today love you guys

if you need advice these guys are really nice You wanna know What to do and where to go When you need someone to guide you Seems to have the clothes beside you Go and see Go and see Go in deep Let's go deep

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