Going Deep with Chad and JT - EP 336 - Fahim Anwar

Starting point is 00:00:00 The Perineum Sun Club collection is now out. Guys, we broke the world record for group perineum sunning. And the club is officially a thing. And you can join the club, support the club. If you want to check out this merch, this is a fresh shirt. There's more items. Look at that. And go to shop.chatandjt.com to support the club.

Starting point is 00:00:22 Support the movement. Let's legalize natural health. I love the merch. I think it is very stylish and cool, but also hilarious. So I think it's a good combo stuff. I'm really psyched on it. I'm psyched on just the whole perineum sunning movement. And I hope you guys are too. So check it out, shop.chadandjt.com. We're also on tour. We're going to be in Sacramento on April 3rd and then San Francisco, Cobbs Comedy Club on April 4th. Two shows. Get your tickets at challengeat.com.

Starting point is 00:00:51 We're also going to be in Fort Worth, Texas the next weekend, April 11th to the 13th, I believe. And then Tempe, Arizona, April 18th. Then we've got tons of other dates. If you go to challengeat.com, you can check those out. What's your dream? Go with the beat. tons of other dates if you go to challenge at.com you can check those out she has that thing it's called stiff person syndrome which sounds like oh yeah that's not a real sounds like a like a playground insult stiff person stiff person and that's yeah you're just

Starting point is 00:01:26 stiff right i would want a more medical term for that diagnosis uh-huh i'm afraid you have stiff person syndrome is it a nerve thing i'm not quite sure have you noticed and i totally believe she has that and you know she's uh yeah but have you noticed that like really famous people seem to come down with stuff more often than normal people and is it just that they get better diagnosis is it that or could it be you're not aware of greg from accounting who has this affliction that's what i was gonna say are some people not forthcoming about it or i think just celebrities are in the public eye so when something happens to them you're more aware of it whereas look we're an apartment building we don't know but even my network of people i feel like they don't have as many or if they do it's it's it's

Starting point is 00:02:14 the cancer it's the bipolar it's more of the the greatest hits greatest hits you want some b-side ailments a lot of these big celebrities got a lot of B-side ailments. Where they're like, he's got, you know, toodaloo syndrome. Is that a real thing? You had me going for a second. I don't want to get that. Oh, buddy, there's nothing you can do living in LA? Toodaloo.

Starting point is 00:02:38 Bieber's got a ton of shit. Lyme disease. Oh, yeah. I always just feel like that's God being like correcting. He's like, look, you can have this, but I'm also going to give you lime. You know what I mean? I think that too. God's correction. Thomas Malthus action.

Starting point is 00:02:50 Yeah. Helping the pop out. You know, I thought about that. I have herpes. Pretty proud of it because that means I've had sex. But I was thinking maybe God put, that is evidence that there's so many STDs that God doesn't want us to bone. But then my brain went, that's what they used to say about yeah they use that as ugly rhetoric for marginalized groups during a time in america trying to shame you yeah i get it so you can't really think that way but it

Starting point is 00:03:17 did pop in my head i get cold sores so what is it what is a podcast a cold sore is that's the pot that's like we've transitioned to this new theme where we talk about herpes i have oral he has genital we're trying to get that valtrex money yeah yeah they're a sponsor on the pod we're trying we genuinely reached out to our agents we're like hey i think we're kind of the team we want to be the face of herpes i just want to see the commercials you guys make that'd be the best i know that'd be the best our agents are like it's tough to get big pharma on board i'm like uh have you heard of travis kelsey it's everywhere yeah oh yeah i think got aids i think it's a no-brainer for valtrex just dm them go around your people i looked i don't think they have a their social media profile is like zilch yeah i mean they would have a hilarious instagram which is yeah take the power back yeah maybe i'll do you know what maybe i'll just email them i'll just go to their website and like like

Starting point is 00:04:16 contact us what's your dream product to hawk man what would be good i've never thought about what my product would be probably stuff that you use a lot right you know what the pinnacle is like coca-cola but then you're doing so well yeah i always think about these corporations like pepsi and coke they've been around for so long how long have they been around fucking just like i want to say hundreds of years that's not true but like they're always young and relevant because they piggyback off of whoever the pop star is so it's like when i was growing up as janet jackson so they're almost like vampires just feeding off of the youth and energy so whoever's young and popular like cole's like yes hold the can yeah

Starting point is 00:04:54 label out lady gaga pop your yeah so they just seem eternally young even though they are this vampire corporation right um yes dualipa hold the can label out yeah they're almost like the sailboat with all new parts where it's like none of the original people are still there so it's carrying on the the energy spirit ethos yeah that's just kind of when you just like think about what what happens with corporations and all that they just draft off of the life energy of whoever the young artist and pop stars are yeah and they're getting cashed out like great like you got mbappe right there right you have the greatest people from every field holding the can it was michael jackson back in the day there was

Starting point is 00:05:33 no one bigger those for pepsi those commercials that i think the 1985 one well for the apple or carl carlton oh yeah i did a recreation of that video you did i won't yeah let's look at it did you know that michael and his contract he's like i can't be on screen for more than like a second three seconds yeah like two or three seconds that's why he's only on screen for like yeah just when he moonwalks and bumps into him yeah do he remember michael jackson pepsi because they thought because at that point he felt like they would misrepresent him somehow like he needed more control yeah this is like a long time ago and I was living in Long Beach we did a shot-for-shot remake of the wow dude that's amazing this is exactly the way the commercial we just did modern michael instead of dude your kick at the beginning was phenomenal

Starting point is 00:06:30 this you think it's silly this is exactly the way the commercial was shot with carlton yeah and then hold on wait for it freeze frame boom wow dude so yeah that's it i know you're a big michael fan huge i i'm a big michael fan too who is i grew up watching his music videos my my babysitter when i what's up dude i grew up watching you want to stop by yeah yeah why don't you sit this mj conversation out so michael jackson herpes too no i'm just kidding um that's why i'm wearing the mask all the time so uh i know you're like you you watch this music oh yeah i actually not to be braggy but i won a talent show in fifth grade moonwalking holy shit yeah it was the first time my brother was like dude like chicks are asking about you oh really your whole family said that was like when you kind of came out it's of came out yeah okay the way you framed that i have questions you said i won a talent show

Starting point is 00:07:30 moonwalking right so my question is did you just come out and just you went straight to moonwalking no there was no build-up or did you do a whole dance so no one knew this about me i learned so my my babysitter when i was like 8 you know showed me all his music videos and I was like this is awesome and then 5th grade talent show I put on Smooth Criminal no one knew I could dance like this did you have the outfit

Starting point is 00:07:55 or did you just dress like this I had the fedora you're on the one yard line and you don't even dress up you have all the moves you just show up like a surfer to be honest I don't remember how I think I had the fedora. You're on the one yard line and you don't even dress up. You have all the moves. You show up like a surfer. To be honest, I don't remember how. I think I had the fedora. You gotta have the fedora.

Starting point is 00:08:09 And I think I put on Smooth Criminal and then I just moonwalked. And then I just, I don't remember the moves I did. Thank you, good night. But all I could really do is moonwalk and the kick. And the splits. And I did the splits. Oh, I mean, that's kind of the Holy Trinity right there. I kind of respect that because I did the whole song and dance.

Starting point is 00:08:26 I had the outfit, the fedora, but you went smooth criminal, which is kind of deep cut. Yeah. Most people go Billie Jean. Billie Jean is classic, especially for performance because there's this build up to it. You're out there. People know the outfit. They know what's coming. They don't know what you can do yet.

Starting point is 00:08:42 Yeah. And then just sonically when that drum beat hits at the beginning the beat drops yeah you do the fedora on the head and then you're still yeah and then you do this there's a whole the thrust the thrust and then there's the hand here then there's the hand there there's l there's layers to it you create the silhouette move create the silhouette move and then that leg thing with the the whip yes and the it's it's all like foreplay leading everyone knows the moonwalk is coming yeah but you're wetting their whistle with all this stuff up top yeah you just you just started fucking from the job yeah there was no foreplay you just pulled the back of the audience's hair yeah stuck your tongue in them

Starting point is 00:09:25 and started thrusting there was no kissing the pelvis i i i i bend them over and i go that's how i am as a performer i guess so yeah you're a raw motherfucker who gets in that dude i just go and threaten well you won so young dumb and almost full of cum yeah dude i just busted a fat load on it i i yeah and you know looking back i mean the billy jean though that's it's tough to pull it off or what what age did you pull it off i think the first time i did it was because it became a runner it became my thing yeah i would always do i would always do this billy jean dance for the talent show that would always coincide with student elections yeah so then i would win every time because the school would be like yo i'm gonna vote for michael jackson kid yeah that's how dumb did it never get old or was there never like bro quit downplaying my skills

Starting point is 00:10:22 as a michael brother i'm just curious i just know people's taste for novelty it just got better and better because you improved as the years went on and did you keep bringing more elements into it like pyrotechnics exactly no i kept it pretty stripped i kept it pretty it's about the dance okay less about the fireworks mj unplugged mj unplugged yeah yeah yeah an acoustic kind of i'm just wondering if at any point like when chris brown entered the zeitgeist i was far out of the assembly game when when chris brown who's mj's peak dance competitor there was no one really right at the time he was at the mountaintop i mean usher came in chris brown came that was later those are like yeah kind of a

Starting point is 00:11:02 generation and a half i guess usher usher was of a predice or not that's before right um and you know 90s was more r&b like boys to men didn't really dance it was all just about the vocal harmonies yeah there was that and it was more about the sweater vests and shorts yeah the swag was different it wasn't as like athletic yeah it was more like no one's like oh boys to men are such good dancers that's how i kind of express myself right boys to men ish yeah prince didn't really dance no there's this famous video of james brown doing this uh concert and then he's like michael jackson yeah yeah yeah and then michael comes up and he's just an ultimate showman you know he's singing a little bit he's doing some moves and then yeah yeah and then he whispers in james brown's ear and he's like i i have prince is here prince is here and then prince comes up too yeah and then they hate each other or i think prince hated michael

Starting point is 00:11:55 more than michael hated prince right right i watch youtube videos about this rivalry all the time because i love both of them yeah and prince is so embarrassed by this moment he feels like michael set him up oh totally oh yeah because then he starts playing this guitar but it's out of tune because he can't dance like michael but look at that energy he just walked on stage with yeah i mean no one had better walking technique but i mean you're not gonna win you're not gonna beat michael jackson on stage even though you're i mean prince is amazing if you're playing instruments and stuff yeah yeah that's what the thing is because his guitar solo that he did during that uh like uh george harrison amazing um tribute was it's legendary it's like one of the most so funny he rips his shirt off and he

Starting point is 00:12:37 starts doing like the prince sexy thing yeah but this wasn't the crowd to do it for you know yeah they're still not into. Because it was a James... Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, my God, dude. They should cut to the audience that's 80% dudes right now. It's a James Brown crowd. Yeah, what is happening? And then he tries to hop on this streetlight that's not anchored to anything.

Starting point is 00:12:57 And then he tumbles. Oh, my God. Look at the... Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, wow. So, he was mortified over this appearance idea this i'd only seen the michael part dude they need to cut to michael jackson right there just smiling yeah exactly michael was a true machiavellian yeah dude he knew what he was doing you think i mean i want to give michael the benefit of the

Starting point is 00:13:18 doubt and just think he was being a nice guy i don't know if he was really was he like i'm gonna i'm gonna screw prince i don't know watch this i do find that interesting like in terms of his like emotional rainbow was he even capable of hate michael no he loves he loves the world right and then when he was let's let's assume he was a sexual predator man right yeah oh he did buy the beatles catalog oh yeah oh yeah what was his uh he must have known that would upset him because pa McCartney called him. I think the story was Paul was like, oh, publishing is what's up. Like, yeah, music publishing.

Starting point is 00:13:51 He's like, oh, yeah. He just filed it away. Thanks, Paul. You know, because I think he was just sort of talking out loud and didn't think that Mike would execute this anecdote. Yeah. He's like, oh, music publishing. You get royalties for music.

Starting point is 00:14:03 It's good investment. Like, oh, okay. And then he bought the Beatles catalog. Yeah. Or he did think of, he's like, that publishing you get royalties for music it's good investment like oh okay and then he bought the beatles catalog yeah or he did think if he's like that's good advice from michael maybe one day he'll own his own masters he didn't expect him to mine you kind of fucked me michael yeah that's what i told you about publishing you tell your buddy you're like dude you need to get out there and have more sex with women and then he has sex a lot of options i thought a lot about what you said and then i started fucking your wife dude that's what you told me to do yeah i i don't think uh i don't think he was like evil but i do think he was so driven that he would

Starting point is 00:14:36 and he knew how to manipulate the crowd and i think he would play into rivalry stuff and and he knew how to maintain that mystery yeah it's kind of uh like inspiring just as a as a fellow artist like i'm putting myself on the same plane as michael jackson but sometimes you see you see people so talented like michael one of the most talented human beings ever and maybe that will ever be and you think that's enough yeah and then you don't realize you see these documentaries and stuff that there's even how much calculation goes with a guy like that yeah because uh they weren't giving him everything at the beginning as well like it was hard for him to get on mtv yeah we we just think about all the

Starting point is 00:15:15 like thriller all these amazing music videos that they just gave it to him black people couldn't get on and he uh he had to get van halen to do a guitar solo on beat it because they weren't putting he's like all right i gotta get van halen to do like a rock lick yeah to get on mtv but that is methodical calculation yeah i don't think people realize how much for even the most talented people maybe people do realize but like how uh how much like compromise and how much like calculation has to go into any level of success. Yeah. Like Off the Wall, great album, but very R&B and funk.

Starting point is 00:15:56 So that wasn't as MTV music video friendly. Yeah. It was like he, cause I watched the Thr thriller doc and it's like he from that he knew he had the potential to be a successful solo artist but it was kind of like he's still in that genre of like funk he's kind of in the motown yeah and he's like no i want to be the king i'm trying i'm trying to cross over i gotta learn what do i what do i do to cross over man yeah and uh i mean bad how long did he work on bad for like four years well he was already in with bad right yeah but i mean still though like to keep it going i want to do this joke like

Starting point is 00:16:31 michael jackson he always dressed like a not tough guy's idea of a tough guy you know what i mean like for bad he's like i want to look like a tough guy. You know, I wear like a bunch of leather and like boots with buckles. Or I want buckles all over my leather. I want loafers. Like a tough guy. Sort of like what a child would think a tough guy looks like. Yeah, I guess so. Because when I was like five and I would go to like the Michael Jackson ride at, I think it was at Universal.

Starting point is 00:16:59 I was like, oh, look at all these like hooligans. All right. What's your favorite Michael Jackson era? We'll do we'll do face and then outfit okay where do you think he should have stopped 1982 right after the nose got changed i think thriller mike is probably that right face right face do that second to the left or the top left one i mean red jacket right there i think that's him yeah that's before the nose job he had a nice nose i think i think 1985 stop okay 85 85 he was looking pretty fantastic no that like they're a little far maybe captain eo captain eo's good

Starting point is 00:17:41 but thriller mike was pretty good thriller mike was good yeah what's the best outfit though i liked it when he was doing the the free willie song and he would do the draping white shirt with the tank top underneath really you like that that's so basic it's like banana republic but you know what it's it's uh like this that is a spiritual leader that is a religious leader look at that go back one this is so attainable though anybody can do this but i can't help it well no but that's it's universal you're using disparaging language top top middle no no uh in the triple well you're factoring in a wind machine right there well okay that that's fair so you left that part out plus win plus win that how fun would that be just to do a stand-up show and have your coat

Starting point is 00:18:32 flapping like that pretty incredible what about when he started wearing catcher's uh gear you know those oh dude i can't even watch it really i can't even watch it. Really? I can't even watch it, yeah. It's too glittery? It's too much. Oh, yeah. It's too... I mean... Yeah, it's hilarious. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:18:52 He's like, do my shins. A baseball team should have a Michael Jackson day where everybody just dresses like... Like a catcher dresses like that. I'm gonna go with best tour, bad tour. Have you been? Or you just watched it? I watched it. Yeah, my only regret in life is that I never got to see Michael live.

Starting point is 00:19:10 I know. It's your only regret. Yeah, it's my only. I've killed it everywhere else. This is the only area where I've messed up. Do you think VR will make it feel like we were actually there? Probably at a certain point. At a certain point. A certain point.

Starting point is 00:19:25 I do. Like, do you think it can make it feel like it's for real? It's so real that you're fainting with your Oculus. You're like, Micah. You're fainting your Oculus. You need security there to carry you. I always think about that because I would watch concert footage of Michael performing in Barcelona and Germany and stuff.

Starting point is 00:19:45 Yeah. And he was so big. You forget that 35-year-old men are like fainting in a stretcher. These aren't 12-year-old girls who want Bieber to marry her. These are guys with office jobs. That's how talented he was. We're like, Micah, Micah. And they're being carried out i feel like

Starting point is 00:20:07 you'd faint i'd probably faint yeah have you ever fainted no i wish i had fainted it seems dude sometimes i like i hear about people having a mental breakdown or something and i go that'd be nice you're two together kind of you know how hard it is to keep it together? And you're like wound tight and just to, life's hard. Well, so do you feel like the breakdown in the distance, like coming towards you and you're just able to push it away? I'm very good. I can, I can bat it off. I can do whatever, compartmentalize it, do what I need to do.

Starting point is 00:20:37 But it's, you see somebody having a break and then they go to a place for a while. You go, oh, that's a nice literal mental vacation. Have a break. That's, that's sort of how I think of it if I just break down I can go you know I like how that's our answer instead of just taking a vacation you kind of got to

Starting point is 00:20:55 burn it all down though so that it regrows new like a brush fire the vegetation comes back healthier I can see that I've had a breakdown and it it sucked and it lingers but you do feel kind of the weights off you afterwards yeah i mean i'm joking obviously but there's there's a no i didn't think you were being callous yeah yeah

Starting point is 00:21:17 no you're good dude don't cancel me internet please no i care at least i do think when the anxiety builds up you're sort of like yeah i might just get naked get naked yeah well no that's real at a ralph's yeah dude sometimes being bad does take the edge off a little bit for me like even just driving in the carpool lane i'll feel better about my day there's something about getting away with something that kind of gives me a boost yeah Yeah. I got to try that then. Carpool? I'll do a U-turn where I'm not supposed to.

Starting point is 00:21:48 If there's cops not around, the sign is just a suggestion. Right? Yeah. In Costa Rica, they say streetlights are like hookers. They're out at night, but no one respects them. If my girl's in the car, I'll always break the rules. Yeah. They should get hot.

Starting point is 00:22:03 Like, holy shit. You're not supposed to take a left here. I'm like, wait, not here, not here. Let me take another U. You're just doing U-turns and circles. Not even donuts and burnouts. Just U-turn after U-turn.

Starting point is 00:22:18 Look, there's a cop there. You're either going to come or throw up. Yeah, that's my foreplay. Dude, that's actually interesting. Will you look up this phrase that's connected to hedonism? I think it's eudaimonia. It's a brand new word. That was in your book?

Starting point is 00:22:39 I wrote it down because I was reading about it yesterday. Oh, the spelling is so off. Is it E-U? Yeah. Yoda magnet. because i was reading about it yesterday oh that's the spelling is so off is it eu yeah yoda magnet yeah so this is like the other version of happiness because we were talking about happiness last week so there's hedonism which is pleasure feeling good just partying basically and then there's i'm mispronouncing it because i've never heard it out loud but eudaimonic well-being which is more like self-actualization meaning achievement like the deeper the maybe not as surface level happiness yeah but you never hear anybody it's not as uh well circulated as hedonism well i think it's

Starting point is 00:23:19 harder to get to whereas hedonism it you could do it here and now it's very quick it's a quick hit this seems like being a bodybuilder's years of work i can make a comparison right now please hedonic well-being is my michael jackson performance eudaimonic well-being is yours yo that's pretty you did the build-up i did the work i put the work in i just released you just gave people a quick hit i think they're moonwalk both very valuable yeah sure sure i don't underestimate there's a time and place for both i think hedonism is wonderful but it's just got to be on it's got to be the icing on the other guy because you can't or it's it's icing it can't be all icing yeah you're a hedonistic michael jackson impersonator and i'm a

Starting point is 00:24:04 yeah you're a hedonistic michael jackson impersonator and i'm a eudaimonic eudaimonic aristotelian but then in terms of what mj was how he was living his life he was doing some left stuff right well i'm just saying that's on the left maximizing enjoyment yeah just kind of like shooting your legs up with it with sleep juice he was doing that right i didn't watch any of the docs that's how he would sleep at night that conrad murray would inject all this because he had trouble sleeping and stuff it's crazy is it crazy you get big enough in hollywood just doctors will do anything you want them to do they just want free michael jackson tickets they go what do you want it's crazy it's so scary being put under yeah to do that every night

Starting point is 00:24:52 that's almost a flag you have weird flexes as you get famous like i get anesthesia anesthesiology every night yeah that's how i go to bed yeah someone's like i'm a light sleeper and michael jackson's like you could amputate my arm and i wouldn't wake up he's like use my guy oh yeah i was leaving conrad's like what's up dude yeah what's up yeah i got a bag here you want some yeah what do you want uh so your specials on youtube oh yeah i just put it out i saw and what what's it what's the title for people it's called house money house money and it's just on my channel so i think this is like a second one that i've put on youtube the other one's crushing it i looked it up recently oh what hat trick

Starting point is 00:25:34 yeah hat tricks that like uh half a milli half a mil and you so i i saw your recent thing too that you had to upload twice yeah so it kind of got bungled just because when you upload on YouTube, there's a process to it. So Ari Shafir was helping me out because he put his special out on YouTube and he had a guy at YouTube who was helping him. I had a guy at YouTube who's helping me out too. He's sort of like a bridge between comedians and best practices for the company because they're excited that comedians are putting their specials

Starting point is 00:26:02 out. Yeah. And so I thought I did all the things you're supposed to do you know there was a joke in there that me and the director were concerned about because i say the f word uh it rhymes with it it's hard to even reference the incident without being flagged on new videos you know what i mean so we're like hey there's this joke in there uh should we take it out should we is it okay they're like no it's okay because you're on stage you're protected by when you're on stage there's it's okay interesting and then uh and then ari also has that word in his special as well and it wasn't flagged in any way so we're like okay cool let's

Starting point is 00:26:44 just keep the integrity of the joke it's fine we've done everything else and then also you upload the special 10 days prior you go live so that it youtube does all its checks so if anything does come up you would have ample time to like edit a new thing take it out you would know if anything came up past all the checks full monetization no restrictions whatsoever best case scenario it premieres i do rogan i time this is the second time that i've done this where i i go live i premiere it kind of when my rogan episode drops just to ride that momentum it's a great slingshot for youtube specials so then it's up for a few hours and then it gets hit with limited ads and then that that kind of sucks because then it's up for a few hours and then it gets hit with limited ads and then that that kind of

Starting point is 00:27:27 sucks because then it's on this trajectory when you look at the analytics and then when limited ads comes on it just starts tapering off and then we're like oh we're scrambling like what's going on blah blah and then yeah it does it does restrict it doesn't it doesn't show you to as many people as if it if it didn't have limited ads because youtube's in the business of serving ads up to people and if they can't serve every ad up to everybody they're not going to show they're going to favor something that's unrestricted more than restricted so then we asked a guy youtube he's like yeah that word is flagging it so we're like oh sort of scrambling and stuff and then like can we just edit a version where it's out or just mute that word and he goes oh because i hit i hit human review on it because i'm like oh surely a human will see

Starting point is 00:28:11 yeah the nuance here and then it was upheld and then so i'm like he goes yeah if it's been upheld if something has limited ads and then it's upheld by a human then it can never have limited ads removed from it oh what why this is sometimes these tech companies just have blanket rules yeah that that require nuance when it comes to like comedy or art or something and there's no person there's no there's no practice are so removed yes in our personal you're like well how do i even it's this black box the fact i'm even talking to someone at youtube is like uh most people don't even have that, you know? And he just likes standup.

Starting point is 00:28:49 It's not even an official title or role for him. So he's beholden to the ads group and stuff. So then we're like, okay, let's just cut a version without that in there and cut out some other questionable things and make it shorter to try to ride this algorithm. And so it was a kind of a Hail Mary. It was a last ditch effort. so there's two versions now there's the uncut extended version which is i think that's like my favorite and then there's just the algorithm play how frustrated were you

Starting point is 00:29:17 in the moment when all that was going it was frustrating because you spend a year year and a half on the road writing all these jokes i spent all my own money filming this thing in nashville so it's your baby you put a bunch of blood sweat and tears into this thing and then something as trivial as like oh yeah i guess you can't uh you can't say that word just blows up like i don't need the views that were like it would be nice i just wanted to do what it would have done like i'm in a good place in comedy and stuff yeah i just did this to hang the art on the wall i've been doing these jokes for the year i just wanted to put a home for it yeah um but it does suck when you kind of get hobbled for no reason or you were told one thing

Starting point is 00:29:55 and then another thing happens in practice yeah what do you do to boost your mood after you've had to deal with something like that just realize you you have you can control what you can control and you can react you know i did whatever i could i did a response video just some people were wondering like why is there a second version of this so i just sort of said my piece as to what's going on so my story is out there as to why this is going on and it brings up interesting questions about tech art comedy and all that yeah and that's really all I can do. Yeah. How do you feel overall about YouTube and all the different social media platforms being

Starting point is 00:30:30 able to kind of censor or push things based off language that they prefer or don't like? Yeah. It's tough because it's been good and it's been bad. You know, like I've never been the guy they picked at Netflix or I've never been the guy they picked at Comedy Central. And there's a lot of comics in that boat who are super talented, but just don't fit whatever their agenda or picks are.

Starting point is 00:30:53 And companies like YouTube, Instagram, TikTok have allowed a way for comedians to get in front of people. Yeah, like the phone is the TV now. So it's been a great way to circumvent traditional hollywood so i still love it but there is this gray area because it is so new that you know little things like like netflix or these companies have nuance because they're artist friendly whereas youtube is an unboxing video or old people slipping on ice and then a stand-up special you've been spending

Starting point is 00:31:26 a year and a half on so they're vastly different videos and they're not open like they're picking what's on there so they're actually curating it with a bit more intention yes exactly uh these like netflix's and comedy they're more artist friendly whereas youtube is just this black box you upload videos into and you can't even get a hold of someone if there's some problem yeah it seems like they're completely unreachable unreachable yeah i think it's by design i say they can't they can't it's like all customer service for real i i i take my dog to a dog park it's right by youtube uh-huh there's a employee walking by and he's like hey can you tell me why i've been demonetized i don't know what department you work in but he's like yeah he's like hey can you tell me why i've been demonetized i don't know what department you work in but he's yeah he's like hey i'm a fan i work at youtube i'm like oh hey what do i need

Starting point is 00:32:08 pretty much i was like while i have your time and then and they change the algorithm and like what's good for thumbnails you're a fan yeah anyone who works there is just a fountain of resource like please tell me what best i thought you're gonna say it's just one office like it's not even the youtube building is just like 200 square feet it's like the wizard of oz is just some ai face he's like i work in marketing i'm like well can we actually go back jake i want to look at what their uh guidelines are because it's so uh vague use of sexually explicit language or narratives use of excessive profanity in the content use of heavy profanity or sexually suggestive terms in the content's title thumbnail or associated narratives use of excessive profanity in the content use of heavy profanity or sexually suggestive terms in the contents title thumbnail or associated metadata use of excessive sexual

Starting point is 00:32:49 sounds this the above isn't the above list isn't complete it's not and it's kind of nebulous and they can just apply ruling on it and there's no way to get the stink off in that video there's no one you could reach use of excessive sexual sounds that's gonna kill and also hard that's a judgment that's a judgment call right yeah excessive heavy those kind of terms make it it'd be nice if they were like look if you say fuck 10 times right or also uh it'd be nice if they gave you the opportunity to remedy whatever the ruling is yeah instead of uh it is what it is i guess we do a little more what about tiktok dude are you guys landing one way or the other in terms of whether it gets banned or not

Starting point is 00:33:29 i think uh yeah i don't care either way here's the thing i'm not thriving on there so i don't give a shit yeah but but if you have 10 billion followers you're not like yeah ban it yeah yeah no you'd be like this is a travesty this is free speech does everyone wants to protect their pocketbook i uh well jake i asked jake what you thought you you think it's gonna get bought out yeah yeah i think it's definitely already way too big to just get rid of like there's so much advertising money in it so many companies make so much money off of it even like ticket master made a deal with them and you can sell tickets directly off of it now. So I think if anything were to happen, a company like Rumble or someone who's U.S. based would probably buy it.

Starting point is 00:34:13 Kind of sucks because I'm not a huge fan of Rumble's content. But, you know, I guess if TikTok stays. And what's Rumble's reputation? Aren't they kind of. It was like a MAGA kind of aligned with that, right? Exactly, yeah. It's very like super right wing, but that's not necessarily why I don't like it.

Starting point is 00:34:29 It's just that the content sucks. Like there's nothing really on it besides talking news heads. I feel like a lot of the politicians who are pushing to ban it though would be equally unhappy if it went to Rumble. But I don't know. Can they control the shift of ownership? Like does it have to go to a company that they

Starting point is 00:34:46 green light or is it just open commerce yeah i'm sure i'm sure somebody's bought and sold on it who do you want to buy it who do i want uh who would be cool to own tiktok what if it's just paxon it makes no sense that'd be good for us dude that'd be good for us dude in and out bought tiktok i would love just weird mergers like that that make no sense. You could tell it was a trust fund kid who just filled in for a day. It was like, that'd be cool. What if we own TikTok? If you look at like the Qatar investment fund or the Saudi investment fund, it is that.

Starting point is 00:35:18 It's like Call of Duty, sports teams. That's awesome. Like Ralph Lauren. You're just like, yeah yeah like this guy just likes to buy shit he likes someone's 17 year old son who was given the reins exactly i i don't know i i uh i i can't look at twitter now because um x dude come on x yeah bro bro terrible day bro bro are do you think you you would be able just to reference Twitter as X with no context? Be like, so I was on X today.

Starting point is 00:35:49 People would just accept it as the new. Has anyone done it? No. No one's bold enough to do. Maybe Elon. X formerly Twitter. That's what people say. Because he was obsessed with the X as the name for like a.

Starting point is 00:36:03 Space X. And then his kid's name has a few x's in there i think and i think when he plays tic-tac-toe he always takes x he initially wanted paypal to be called x really and was frustrated that it wasn't i think he i heard that he wants twitter to become there's like some chinese company where they it's like all banking yeah like all encompassing basically oh yeah a company that does everything pretty much like messaging banking yeah like all encompassing basically oh yeah a company that does everything pretty much like messaging banking yeah uh i like i i respect what he did in terms of like i think free speech you know like the whole like we were talking about with like the special i

Starting point is 00:36:39 wouldn't have had that problem on x yeah i uploaded my special on x but the thing is now i look at x and it's like all like murder videos i know like fight videos i'm like why is this i'm happy i'm like this is free speech i like i barf up my mendocino farm sandwich this is the price for free speech it is it is good he did that like because there was like a bias on there i saw that too yeah he still bans people he'll ban people that he doesn't like like when uh people were attacking him and it was undercutting their ad sales yeah he went to his like team and was like ban all these people and they're like but bro your whole thing is that like no one gets banned and he was like shut the fuck up they called me you could say whatever you want about anything but just not me so you can shit on biden uh just when it comes to elon you shut the fuck

Starting point is 00:37:25 up um you're gonna be banned forever that's a fire free speech for everybody but elon you said you said that we would let everybody you can you can you can say whatever you want about anything just whatever you want but you're like what do you want to say well i would think we have to let matt taibi post about how you know your deal with ukraine and then he's banned he could post it and then he could never post again but that goes against like your whole ethos that this is why people believe in you yeah but you can talk about anything except you know i own the company so that's basically you can open why you can have his own company called why i can't wait for the documentary that's going to come out 10 to 15 years from now just all the weirdos tesla or inside spacex like yeah he gave me his jizz

Starting point is 00:38:12 yeah you know i have so much jizz so i just gave it to her you know i can only raise so many kids on my own actually putting it through a neutral bullet concentrated potency i run it through um yeah a neutral bullet and a vitamix and really you know mix up my sperm i don't know if you guys saw on me and joe we just do a vitamix and um so it's kind of like a super baby you know it's good at fighting and it's good at math and then lex friedman you know he put a few drops in there dude you actually you know what he talks so slow, too. You might be, you're like a better Elon right now.

Starting point is 00:38:48 I'm like Elon and Coke, pretty much. Yeah, you're like. How about this? Here's an idea. Like, he already has so many ideas, but Elon and Coke. Are you writing this down? I'm fucking, I'm going off here. I'm Jay-Z in the booth.

Starting point is 00:38:58 So, it's a rocket that goes sideways. Like a plane? No, no, no, no. It's a rocket. goes sideways. Like a plane? No, no, no, no. It's a rocket. Multi-directional problem. Do you have like a favorite impression you do? I don't do it. Well, I just happen to stumble upon this Elon.

Starting point is 00:39:15 Like certain voices are in your register. Like I'm not a crazy impressionist. I'll do some characters when I'm on stage if I'm doing a joke. I don't trust impressionists. Like straight impressionists? Like that are just so good. And they're doing them all the time and that's their bread and butter i get like a little bit uh it's a great skill i see that i'm like oh i would oh it's money in the bank audiences love it it is the tough part though is to have the joke match how good the impression is

Starting point is 00:39:40 because sometimes the impression is just unreal but but then the the linkage and like the joke isn't there to like match dunagan does a good job of that dunagan's great i love bill maher because the bits are so funny like it's sliced a lot of stuff he'll make it about like he did a 9-11 and it's like so i love when when he i don't know if he still does it but when he does takes the live calls and stuff and the stream on youtube he's like because people will send him money to get a yo he's like all right we got another yo it's like ten dollars people just say yo and they'll send ten dollars all right thanks greg and dad if we got a yo we got another yo it's just crazy what the late stage capitalism we're in yeah we're just making money we want to send yo to you on a stream

Starting point is 00:40:25 dude i saw it firsthand i was like 15 years ago i went into one of the first ever live pornographic streams browsers did one with like 10 of their porn stars wow and i was just wailing on myself by myself in my room in new york and i saw guys in the chat room i was cracking up laughing while i was watching all these people bang yeah because dudes were in there going say my name say my name and i got such a kick out of these i was like these guys are losers i'm kind of cool i was doing the show i'm not interacting and i started going say his name i started saying say the other guy's name yeah and then i started being like say like it was when herman cain was running for president i was like say a flat tax will reinvigorate the economy and then i would just watch the porn stars look at this screen and be

Starting point is 00:41:07 like what but yeah that immediacy i kind of miss when there was a a gap between audience and performer yeah well that's that's a thing of the past now access is the new mystery oh where'd you hear that i just made that up really but i really do feel that because i think old hollywood like marilyn monroe humphrey bogart it was like who are these celebrities they're so glamorous you didn't you would hunger for a morsel of personal information about yeah like what is their couch yes those days are over now you gotta be the rock and be like i'm loving pancakes i'm having 100 pancakes guys even i eat a lot of pancakes all right guys you know you have to be the rocks my friend i i always thought it'd be funny for the rock to

Starting point is 00:41:53 do like a live where he's sweating because he always does like post-workout he's just put in the work birth right there that's my elliptical just put in the work but for him to be sweating they just had sex that is the next level just took her to patent no that goes that goes against his brand dude i'm so i know he doesn't the rock is asexual yeah because it's money he's like a mutual fund i always think these people get so big like kevin hart uh the rock they become like a blue chip stock they're just a mutual fund you put money in the rock you get 20 every year right what he does and you trust their core values that they won't deviate too much yes that's i mean i had this joke about it too where like the rock just can't have an opinion about anything he's so big at this point and he makes so much money for so many people if they're

Starting point is 00:42:40 like the rock do you like new york pizza or chicago deep fish and he's like uh you know if you're having pizza it's a good day you know this pizza is great across the board all right no further questions like what the fuck was that i almost lost my my chicago deep dish audience you guys gotta prep these reporters next you don't fucking ever come in here yeah yeah yeah that was a curve no i don't answer deep dish when i'm in chicago this guy's trying to end me i it just yeah it does bum me out though because the the narrowing of like a human to be a brand takes away so much of like the art of it and so i would love it if the rock would be like oh man i worked out today but i also had a rough day i shit and i was backed up but i shit a lot and i got some poop down my

Starting point is 00:43:19 legs and then i feel better about myself i wailed on myself twice i'd be like whoa all right yeah the thing doesn't have to be exactly that sweating though that might not have been the best that's a real brand pivot though and also the ceiling gets lowered on how much money the rock can generate i live for the pivot you live that's a shirt dude that's a shirt if i ever heard one like bobby d dylan would do huge pivots like he's like okay i'm the acoustic protest song guy okay now i'm going electric now i'm not whatever politics you thought it was then in the 80s he went like christian has anyone done a joke like dylan goes dj that's his next phase he went electric that's what he should have done now he goes turntable you see him with the wind

Starting point is 00:44:00 and it's like that's genius because he stopped evolving now you go see him in concert and he's just like kind of hobbled. He can barely, he has to play keyboard. I've read Reddit threads. Just like some people say what, what's like not the greatest concert you've been to. And I, I hear it's very,

Starting point is 00:44:14 you don't know what you're going to get with the Dylan. Like he's brilliant and he has jams and all that, but there's been stories of like, you don't know what you're going to get. No, he's bad. Now you can't tell what song he's playing. He gets,

Starting point is 00:44:24 he's older now, right? Yeah. He just, he's going to die on stage, but he he'll get through. He tangled up in blue and you're gonna get no he's bad now you can't tell what song he's playing he gets he's older now right yeah he just he's gonna die on stage but he he'll get through he tangled up in blue and you're like he's like i was tangled up in blue and you're like i had no idea dude uh dylan with with the um foam cannons just with the drop just imagine he headlines coachella i'm i'm coming up with gems dude this is brilliant whoever is running Coachella get Dylan to go turntables he's headlining all of his songs put through a house music revision however he wants to he could team up with Cascade Justice Dylan Francis Justice whoever he wants Daft Punk reunites Kygo Kygo all yeah it looks like it's like a we are the world of djs i also did want to do a sketch of that it's like a reboot of we are the world and it's just a room with like 100 djs playing

Starting point is 00:45:11 different songs and it's terrible well like the first hour of it is just moving all their fucking equipment in there it's just so loud and all the roadies and there's all these led screens and shit it's like why were they doing the fog in the recording session yeah the power breakers um dude i um one of your clips that i i just watched over and over it's like from like a year ago but when were you talking about like guys who do dirty talk oh yeah chuggies like fucking slut oh yeah yeah yeah oh do you remember i yeah yeah my my girlfriend i we re-watched it like 20 times because i couldn't stop laughing oh i'm totally the opposite oh you're you're all into the dirty stuff like that all the time not not depending on the person's preferences but i'll try it out it just feels like a uh a clothing item doesn't

Starting point is 00:46:07 fit on me it feels inauthentic something like like a leather jacket like i've got to be leather jacket guy or something you know if it fits you it fits you but i'm trying to think that joke i think it was i forget what the actual context of it is but it's sort of the guy who's like like married people who do that like yeah like a fucking little slut yeah he's like we're taking the kids out of the lake yeah that's what oh yeah i go yeah yeah i go this guy isn't the real guy this is the real guy oh they're both real i do that yeah i guess are you which one are you wearing a mask i think they're both me i i can do them back to back interesting i can be like you dirty slut you like getting fucked and then i'll be like oh wait oh i think the uh i left uh you can switch hit you're like i left the oven on i'm like i left the oven on i'll be right back yeah my cake's ready yeah i can go in and out like

Starting point is 00:46:52 that that's pretty talented i'm like the kids no ramp up just fucking i just finished the cake fucking slut i got a frosted mini wheat but i could never do it it was funny when i was in like acting classes and stuff and you'd have to act i could never act sexy on camera or like in a scene. You're like, my dick had to be out every time for me to act sexy. If we're going to do this. Your method. It's got to be real. Just blur it out in post.

Starting point is 00:47:16 This is just to get me there. I mean, but I did get in my head a lot with sex growing up. Like I was a virgin for a long time and had boner problems for a long time. Like I do have intimacy stuff, but for the dirty talk dirty talk i feel safe that's easy for you yeah that's harder for me yeah but your dong work good my dong works okay yeah but everyone has an off day you know it's hard to be killing it i think that's growth as a guy too because i think when you're younger you just think you need you need to have a tuning fork 24-7. And you don't realize we're all human and you don't win them all and it's okay.

Starting point is 00:47:52 I wonder who that guy is, the guy who got a boner every time. I'm sure he's out there. Good for him. But that's an outlier. That's like a LeBron James of boners. Do you correlate that at all with IQ? Do you think the guy who gets a boner every time

Starting point is 00:48:04 is either smart, dumb? Where do you think he lands? Interesting. I think definitely not in his head that much. So maybe dumber. I think overthinking and analytical and in your head is not great for rock hard. Also a smart guy who's super busy, got a lot on his plate. He might need the release more. so his bone is functional bone is getting stiff often because he's like i gotta get this out yeah i bet both of those are dumb or a buddhist that's his pain portal if you practice mindfulness i think you can get pretty consistent yeah dude how boring are like enlightened people like you know would you want to be a monk who's just like at a party yeah what have you been up to just just you know it's elon for some reason again every impression

Starting point is 00:48:52 is elon now how are you doing are you feeling good what have you been up to yeah just rockets rocket stuff you know does that stress you out are we doing character we're doing me i can't enlighten you're enlightened enlightened um yeah pretty enlightened you know when the rocks blow up it's just kind of a bummer but when they don't blow up i feel great when i'm giving jizz feels good do you think you're gonna be able to get us to like interplanetary travel in life uh the goal yes yeah yeah maybe send some people up there because like this you can't there's no return flight so you're gonna die does that bum you out that people aren't gonna make it back no i mean it's not me Yeah. Maybe send some people up there because there's no return flight, so you're going to die. Does that bum you out that people aren't going to make it back?

Starting point is 00:49:27 No, I mean, it's not me. So I'm not going up there. And what if your critics were on those spaceships? Would you work hard? Oh, fantastic. I would send them today. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:49:38 Dude, you've got his... I've got to go slower. No, but I like that. He would do that thing where he'd be like... I do it in the special because like he like his laugh is like he watched a youtube tutorial on how to laugh like oh his first rogan he took like 12 second pauses between words i know sometimes between syllables it's almost a great case study for performance and because i think

Starting point is 00:50:06 when we're on stage and stuff you especially when you're younger you think silence is death and any silence is bad but when it comes to conveying an idea and orating is that a thing that's a word yeah there's power and silence it's okay to collect your thoughts it's okay and elon is just that on steroids when it comes to pregnant pauses and you still are engaged and you still want to hear what he has to say and i think there are elements of elon that you could bring to performance and like silence is okay if you are in the middle if you still have a train going if it's silence and you're in and you need the audience's approval and it's kind of like flop to it that's not great pause but uh sometimes i'll breathe sometimes i'm talking like i don't have to be a steamroller but that just comes with time and also style

Starting point is 00:50:54 yeah everyone's style is different that's true when you think about comics too when they just sit up there or even like chris rock just repeat words he'll emphasize like a look and he kind of tells the audience through all that when to laugh but also he's built up so much equity as a comedian and trust yeah and he's been doing it for how many years he can you're just captivated even when like chapelle goes up yeah they could literally say one sentence in like three minutes and people are still but that becomes a different thing though because now you're an icon and you're a legend uh so you just have so much car blanche uh chapelle i could watch him just smoke a cig up there for like a set and i'd be like brilliant just for now that'd be great if that was like his

Starting point is 00:51:46 next netflix special just literally it's like an hour of just him smoking on stage yeah yeah just saying buzzwords you know yeah like trans trump and then that's it just drops the mic it's like 30 mil a brilliant opaque look but even you even you fake smoking i was captivated i was locked in yeah because i'm like what's on his mind he's taking his time he doesn't need me he's looking into the distance like i am voyeuristically enjoying your process and what you're going to say i know you don't need anything from me and you've got you've got something you want to share i was possessed in the gravity of the situation totally this the situation so far hasn't been solved Elon am I talking to you?

Starting point is 00:52:48 Elon? Okay so as I see it there's a problem and I am addressing that problem but in new ways whereas before people addressed the problem using the same styles of idea

Starting point is 00:53:11 and now thanks to the help of others but mostly through you know the spirit of our of of what we do we're trying to solve the problem i was locked in right if you had a cig to that oh my god yes he won with a cig he did smoke he did smoke a blunt which does anybody have artificial intelligence i guess yeah the thing i was trying to do is like they'll say basic ship you're like right but with enough pauses and enough gravitas do you think do you think if you if you just brought that energy on stage elon energy yeah without anybody um in a relationship uh do you uh eat a pussy just elon doing crowd work? No, she's not my girlfriend. She's my friend. Okay, so you're in the friend zone.

Starting point is 00:54:10 Good luck getting out of that. How long have you been dating? We're not dating. He's just my friend. Oh, okay. Just friend. Newsflash. He wants to fuck you.

Starting point is 00:54:21 Just friend. Newsflash. He wants to fuck you. Anybody from out of town? Anybody from not here? Yeah, I'm from a Lancaster. Lancaster. This is what civilization looks like.

Starting point is 00:54:40 Just looking at cows out there. Have you sat in a chair before dude a i could probably do that oh yeah i'm sure we could probably scramble up some uh just elon stand-up set yeah stephen hawking ripping it crowd work is that going to be our future instead of a tv we just like get home and we just say like ai load me up. Elon doing stand-up comedy. Oh, that's pretty cool. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:55:09 You can just pick a voice and it'll do it. We should do the calls. Yeah, let's hop on. Hello? Hey, man. How's it going? Dude, what's going on? Just hanging here, man.

Starting point is 00:55:22 Chad, Fahim Anwar. What's up, man? Hell yeah. What's going on, guys? Chad, Fahim Anwar. What's up, man? Hell yeah. What's going on, guys? Dude, just hanging. I'm so freaking fired up right now that you guys called me. I'm fired up you answered. And for you guys, anything.

Starting point is 00:55:35 Thanks, dude. I like how fired up he is. Yeah. I think we're all fired up. I'm pretty fired up. Dude, I've been looking forward to this. I was texting Jake earlier today and I was like, dude, there's no way. I was just about to step a foot in earlier today and i was like dude there's no way i was just about to step a foot in the house and i was like right back in the car so fired up to hear to hear you guys well what are you fired up to talk about dude great question so a couple weeks ago i went to this uh outdoor hockey game it was the Devil's Ranger Stadium Series at MetLife,

Starting point is 00:56:07 like where the Jets and Giants play. I'm with all my boys, and I'm super fired up. You know, we're ripping JBs. We're tailgating a hockey game, which you don't normally get to do. So ripping Jager bombs and just making burgers, having fun. I'm having a blast. Next thing I know, I take one step into the arena and a guy in a flyer sorry did i say devil's rangers before i meant to say devil flyers

Starting point is 00:56:34 a flyer fan in one of those like ski masks he looks at me and goes i'm gonna fuck your girlfriend dude right yeah and i tried to be all cool about it so i go dude what the fuck did you just say and then i i didn't think about anything past that so i got in his face thinking i was all cool and then he's like, what are you going to do about it? And I was like, nothing. Like I paid so much to get into this arena. I just had one step in here. What do you think I'm going to try to sock you and I'm out? So I couldn't even think of something clever to say. I was just so rattled.

Starting point is 00:57:22 And then my girl pulled me away and that was it. I was all the whole night. I was like, I should have said this. I should have said that. And I'm like, I could have hit some low blows, but of course you don't think of the best thing to say until you walk away. And, uh, yeah, I was just wondering like, what would you guys, how, how should I handle that situation? I i i totally got rattled and like his goal was accomplished he had real estate in my head i mean i'm talking about it two weeks later like he won dude freaking sucks i mean i feel like you hit him with some pretty sound logic though it seems like you didn't do the right thing in your head but all those whatever you listed

Starting point is 00:58:07 right there checks out to me you spent so much money on that and this if you scrapped with him it would have ruined the whole night there could have been legal stuff as well it's totally not worth it yeah uh yeah yeah but like that doesn't really zing him you think he's still thinking about like man that dude really didn't do anything like ah you know it's like i didn't even get him well you stepped to him the appropriate amount you didn't let him go by unchecked and had you look we still got to move on live and be happy but you did say what the fuck and kind of put him back into saying something i think next time you say how you gonna do it discombobulate him and really make him go into detail on how he plans to fuck her because i'm

Starting point is 00:58:55 betting dollars to donuts he doesn't have a plan and he just means it as an empty threat to get you on your heels but if you really make him go into detail about how he would pursue your girlfriend and seduce her i'm betting his plan is weak and he comes up wanting and he'll reveal himself to be sexually inadequate dude so like i should walk around with like a notepad and paper and it's like and pen and it's like anytime someone steps to me like that it's like all right dude i'm taking notes yeah and then and then and then he'll be like oh and then at this point you know i'd probably uh play with her perky nipples and you go actually she's sensitive there she doesn't like it and you just stare at him and say what next chief because so far my dad almost said something kind of similar he was like i said

Starting point is 00:59:41 the same thing and he said you should have just turned around and said, you got good taste and walk away. That's pretty good. That's right. But you don't think about it until you leave. It's like you dream about this situation where someone presses you and it's like, Oh, I'm going to be the hero.

Starting point is 00:59:56 I'm going to be the hero. And then it happens and you freeze like, dude, fuck. Yeah. There's, there's spirit snipers just walking around the world who, when they see

Starting point is 01:00:05 you happy the only thing they can do to feel equal is to take away your comfort and safety and it's unfortunate but they'll always be there so i don't want you to be too on guard where you're not enjoying the moment but you got to be ready for the chaos when it shows up at your door i appreciate that and it makes sense that the spirit sniper was in the shape of a Flyers fan. Yeah. I mean, he's from Philly. He's a piece of shit. Also remember, you got spirit jumped pretty much.

Starting point is 01:00:32 You're a victim here. Yeah. Right? Yeah. So it's like you're feeling bad about getting jumped. Yeah. And I think whenever, especially Philly guys try to step to you, weird them out. Be like, oh, we've been looking for a third

Starting point is 01:00:45 um you want to hit the bathroom right now we could do it in the porta potty right now and uh see if he's down you try to he tries to fuck your girlfriend you try to fuck him literally that is 100 what to do yeah put it in his ass he was wearing a ski mask you say yeah right like it's like he's hiding wearing a ski mask, you say? Yeah, right? It's like he's hiding his identity so you can just say that to anybody. Oh, he was wearing a ski mask. You didn't pick up on that?

Starting point is 01:01:13 Oh, so no part of his face was identifiable? Just the lips and the eyes, brother. I guess that's all you need based on your advice. Bro, don't sweat this guy. He's straight coward. If it really came down to the gangbang, he wouldn't even be able to make eye contact with you while he thrusted that's what i'm saying you know what and i and i do want to pull back on the philly comment because your previous caller with the boy bonding man i gotta give it up to that guy that i might make

Starting point is 01:01:40 it out to the philly show just to see that guy dude that's a good shout way to be magnanimous there's some good philly folk out there and, and they're not the type to just try to assault people. I'm going to create a catchphrase here. I'm going to create, when in doubt, weird them out. Anyone tries to step to you, weird them out. Especially, too, I mean, this guy's miserable if he's going to go around saying stuff like that. Obviously, he's not happy with himself. And he's wearing a ski mask be like dude easy entry that's like internet troll live in concert yeah right yeah dude good call he literally wears a mask he's scared of being seen yeah dude let him know you see him and that you will take what's

Starting point is 01:02:21 safe from him yeah i've seen your lips. Good luck. I see how chapped they are. Good luck hiding in the stadium. Oh, dude. That's awesome. You're a beast, man. And, I mean, the guy's clearly jealous that you got a smoke show girlfriend and you handle it with ease.

Starting point is 01:02:38 So just keep living your life and, you know, just be on the lookout when you're anywhere near Philadelphians. Dude, I appreciate that. I've been chalking this one up in my mind for like a couple weeks i was like dude i should have done this i should have done that and dude when in doubt weird him out i might have to get that tatted or something on your ass dude yeah dude on your ass I'll get it tied with you if you do it let's do it together and we'll get a portrait

Starting point is 01:03:08 of uh ass clown next to it oh big time homage he's my buddy he's a wild card but he sells software also oh that's pretty cool

Starting point is 01:03:18 dude that's awesome can I shout out my boys real quick I told them all I was coming on the pod they were so fired up for me run through the list man. Hope it's long. Oh Dude strap in

Starting point is 01:03:30 We got ed Chris Liam Mike Dan Matt Yeah, dude a lot of exciting names Yeah, not really. You guys always have the sick nicknames. I don't have any ass clowns in my crew. You know, I

Starting point is 01:03:49 wanted to joke about this, though. It is the guys with the normal names who are actually the wild cards. Every time I've met someone's friend, they're like, this is Dirty Dave the Devil. He's like the most normal guy. He's just reading a book or something. Yeah, I'm Dave. He's like, I'm a history fan. I'm Dave. Mostly pre-industrial revolution stuff.

Starting point is 01:04:07 Dirty talk for him. What's your name, brother? That's us. I'm Freddy. Freddy? Dude, I met you guys. Well, I met Chad at the Brooklyn show. I came up after.

Starting point is 01:04:20 Dude, I was on one that night, and I was just so freaking fired up. I totally think I barged in your conversation. I was like, what up? You're like, yo, this is Kennedy. I was like, I know. It was just kind of weird. I think I remember you. Yeah, dude.

Starting point is 01:04:37 I feel like I know you guys. What up? I'm Freddie. You're a legend. Later, Fred. Love you, brother. I appreciate that, guys. I love you boys. Love you a legend. Later, Fred. Love you, brother. I appreciate that, guys. I love you, boys.

Starting point is 01:04:46 Love you, too. Later, man. Good advice you gave, I think. Good guy. Oh, yeah. That was phenomenal. I think that's going to become a thing. And it's real.

Starting point is 01:04:59 That's the real deal holy field of it. Mike Tyson does that, and he doesn't even need to what where he's like i'm gonna fuck you until you love me oh yeah yeah yeah and you can just feel the terror he said all the akbar after that and we're like well we don't know if we need that pr he's like i'm gonna fuck you on the ass make you love me i don't i'll walk about did you really yeah i'm gonna eat your children Oh he answered Hello Hey man how's it going Yo what's up

Starting point is 01:05:31 What up brother You got Chad JT and Fahim Anwar On the line And Jake Can you hop off speaker brother Oh yeah What's going on No way. Can you hop off speaker, brother? Oh, yeah. What's going on? Hanging, dude.

Starting point is 01:05:50 What's going on with you? You want to tell us what ails you? Yeah. So, short story long, my girlfriend and I bought a house. And about a month living here, she tells me she doesn't want anyone boning in the house. What? Does that include you? Besides us, besides us.

Starting point is 01:06:17 Phew. Yeah, that was scary. That'd be weird. That'd be a weird rule. How are your boys handling that? I mean, I've told a few of them, and they're just like, why? And I'm kind of in the same boat. I'm like, why?

Starting point is 01:06:33 Has she spoken at all as to why? She says it's a respect thing since we own the house. And I'm like, I mean i mean well we've been in other people's houses so what's the problem did you have someone bone in there no that's the thing how horny are the homies and are they going to be able to handle the band uh i mean pretty much all of our friends are in like serious relationships or married so like i don't think they would do anything disrespectful right you think it'll be straight mish sex with heavy eye contact and like basic cleanup afterwards yeah i mean i'd hope so yeah maybe

Starting point is 01:07:20 that's what it is then brother you just got to find compromise you got to just tell her that the sex won't get too wild no one's going to knock over lamps or won't be fluid anywhere that can't get cleaned up and that everybody will, you know, wear a condom or be prepared to have a child if something does, you know, come of it. Yeah, that's my thing. I want to have a safe space for my friends to crash and they decide to burn then you're in the right place i think it's a basic human right i mean every human being has the right to food um medical care and shelter especially when they're about to clap cheeks that's that's a good point yeah because also does she want people coming over to stay who are clearly horned up who then have to go outside to bone where do you live does it rain i live in virginia it rains does rain it's humid too outside you need ac like the friends are boning outside like look at look it's draining we gotta let them in this is unhuman what

Starting point is 01:08:26 all right guys you can come in and bone in the guest room you're gonna get pneumonia yeah yeah yeah i mean the thing is we do have like a pretty big detached garage so like she's pretty much named that the drill factory oh so that allowed then? So she's even sectioned off where you're allowed to crank? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I got to go out to the shed. And you pay half on the house and half on the rent?

Starting point is 01:08:57 Yeah, yeah. I mean, I got to pay for the whole drill factory, but... Is she allowed to do her thing wherever she wants i mean i guess that's what she's been doing i've never seen her go out to the to the garage so rules for thee not for me sounds like she voted for gavin newsom Also, check this out. We were visiting my little brother in Baltimore, and we were crashing at his townhouse, and he walked in on us, drilling.

Starting point is 01:09:37 Awesome. And he says that's different because he doesn't own the townhouse, but we own this townhouse, but we own this house. That sounds elitist. But now, said little brother, shout out to Evan, my little brother, he listens to the pod, but he's talking about moving in with us. Whoa. Have you brought this up with her? Can he bone in your house?

Starting point is 01:10:11 If he lives there. I have. And I said, yes. I mean, if you're living here, you know, you're paying the rent. You're welcome to it. And where does she land on that? She lands no randos. A family can bone.

Starting point is 01:10:28 But it has to be like in a monogamous relationship. No randos, gotcha. Right, right, yeah. Your wife has a lot of rules. That's like the only rule that's in the house. Did she come from like a puritanical family that was like very uh prude about sex no i wouldn't say so i mean her mom had her when her mom was 16 so so is it an overcorrection then everyone looked at them like heathens so she wants to keep the sex

Starting point is 01:11:01 safe and polite. I mean, yeah, I can see that. I mean, I respect her boundaries and her decisions, but we just don't see eye to eye on this. Have you had any instances yet where you've had some buddies over and they were about to enter coitus and you had to tell them to take it outside? Not yet, but um may happen we just moved in in uh december have you ever like walked in on one of your buddies who's just like almost like how someone smokes right outside the door just cranking half half in the house half outside uh not yet but hopefully they'll go to the because you're not going to eliminate sin you're just going to move where it happens and people

Starting point is 01:11:52 are lazy so i can see you having like a bust corner a bus zone i'm curious how do you implement or how do you cross this bridge with your friends how are the guests aware of this do you have to have a weird conversation do you have a sign in the room yeah no sex in here well that was my thing too I was like are we just gonna greet them at the front door and be like listen no boning

Starting point is 01:12:17 I think it's a sign how big is the sign and where do you put it it's about four feet long and it's over each bed in the house is do they you put it it's about four feet long and it's over each bed in the house is do they use lights is it like a flashing like i was thinking it was carved in wood because she feels traditional like a homie feel kind of like a live love laugh exactly but no bonin exactly like a madewell kind of tchotchke i get it on the wall or maybe it's a coffee mug and that's the one that you get in the morning. This is no bonin.

Starting point is 01:12:48 Mornin' no bonin'. I could bring that up too. Just so we can implement the rule. I mean, this could be a trade-off. What if you say, okay, but you have to let them know somehow. Because that's a weird conversation for me. But if it means this much to you, would you go for that? that's a weird conversation for me but if it means this much to you would you go for that we have we have told a couple of her friends and a couple of my friends and i'm kind i'm i like tell like you you know walks off to go to the bathroom i'll just be like, text me, and, like, I'll let you know when she's not home and, you know.

Starting point is 01:13:27 Right, it's like an underground railroad of bone. I don't want to cross the line. Does she let you have sex with her non-missionary? Oh, yeah. It's pretty cool. That's sick. Yeah. I mean, you like that?

Starting point is 01:14:00 Was that question directed towards me? Yeah. Oh, yeah, I do. was that question directed towards me yeah oh yeah i do it's very i thank her every time nice well you know you won't have to clean that many sheets i guess i didn't think about that it's true the one thing she is missing out on though is horniness osmosis i know whenever i go visit friends and stay at their house that they have sex more often when i'm there you inspire i just bring a uh an anxiety that needs to be relieved. My dad's the same. Whenever my dad's around, you get horned up.

Starting point is 01:14:53 Yeah. That's true. That's good. I don't judge it. Well, what's his name? Beef? What's that?

Starting point is 01:15:16 What's your name? Oh, what's my name? Wes. That makes more sense than Beef. Well, good luck. Wes, you're the man, dude. Love you, than beef. Well, good luck. Wes, you're the man, dude. Love you, doggy. Good luck out there. Keep us posted, for real.

Starting point is 01:15:32 Yeah, if you make a sign, show us the sign. Alright, I'll send in the pic. Oh, we want to see a photo of the drill factory. Not you in there, but just like, you know, we want to see where you're doing your thing. Yeah, I'd love to see where you beat off. Okay, it's got like a gravel floor. It's pretty nice. We want to see where you're doing your thing. Yeah, I'd love to see where you beat off. Okay.

Starting point is 01:15:47 Yeah, it's got like a gravel floor. It's pretty nice. It's pretty sick. No cleanup. It just goes in the gravel. This goes out to all the listeners. Just send us a picture of your bone zone. Just wherever you drill. We'll show it on the pod.

Starting point is 01:16:03 See what your setup is. Modern celebrity. What? Lack of mystery. we want to see how you live yeah we'll make it like a marie kondo show the rock would never you can give notes the rocks like this is where i beat off yeah the magic power of beating off all right west where thanks thanks for the advice, y'all. Of course, man. Good luck out there. Just a lot of good guys. He's a good friend. He wants his, even though with these rules, he's bending them a little bit. He's acting as a lookout for Bonin.

Starting point is 01:16:38 Dude, I mean, I really like that he told his friends, he's like, when she's not here, you can. Yeah. But now he's like a heist job. Like, she's pulling up. She's pulling up. Guys, get out of there. it's mission impossible they do the entrapment thing where they're just going through the lasers oh you guys gotta shower up you gotta shower up you guys reek you reek of it she opens the door i'll intercept her for a second hey babe how's work why can't we go inside

Starting point is 01:17:04 we never talk about the bushes someone smells freshly fucked in here She opens the door. I'll intercept her for a second. Hey, babe, how's work? Why can't we go inside? We never talk about the bushes. Someone smells freshly fucked in here. Who's been fucking? Beep has been here, hasn't he? I wonder, does she get a sexual kick out of restricting other people from having sex? The two most interesting parts to me were, one, she cares to stop other people. And then the second one was the homeowner thing.

Starting point is 01:17:26 Yeah, that was interesting. Like, he rents. When you own, you're allowed to have these rules. When you own, you can bone. Is that one of the perks of being a homeowner? Like, if you rent, just anybody could fuck in any room and you have no say over it? I'm going to tell my kids that when they're like, when can I have sex?

Starting point is 01:17:44 I'll say, when you own a house. own a house yeah it's not bad advice that'd be funny if you know the brother walks in on them while they're fucking and he's like what the fuck she's like you rant and just like keeps on writing the guy don't act like you own this i also love that she comes home the brother's having sex with a rando. And she's like, no, stop. And then he throws down the deed to the house. Read it and weep. Read it and weep. I just bought this.

Starting point is 01:18:14 How are you doing on time? I'm all right. I got nothing, dude. How do you feel when you got a wide open dance card for the day? Pretty good. I don't mind it. I don't like if it's every day but it's nice to have one oasis just uh cool i could catch up on stuff i could do some writing i have a show later

Starting point is 01:18:31 tonight but that's a that's at night where you're performing at comedy store nice original room what's your favorite room original room that's like the medium-sized one uh the main room was fun too but it's so big it's like 300 350 it's very much a kind of vegas style here it is super polished set you have to do where the original room is maybe 150 uh 180 it's it you could be a little more jazzy you can like write write a little more in there you can think of a tag and then it gets some laughs what slot do you like to go at the most you mean time slot middle is pretty good middle of the lineup is not bad but every 15 minutes is a different show because there's no mc and it goes on for quite a while

Starting point is 01:19:18 i remember when when you first get past you're a runt and they put you up at the very very end so you're going up at 130 you're going up at 145 just so late they're so tired there's six people in the crowd 10 people they're trying to sober up it's an empty room pretty much but it you get good at being present and connecting with people and you can't just rely on jokes. Like if you have a packed room, you can just go into jokes and it's fine because there's a social contract between comedian and audience. But if there's five people in the crowd and you're like, uh,

Starting point is 01:19:53 it's like my brother today. Yeah. It's just, it's just reeks of artifice. So it teaches you to be real and connect before jokes. So, and then you take a little of those lessons from the late night comedy store

Starting point is 01:20:06 and you apply it to a packed house. It's super powerful. So I'm so grateful that I had to do that for a couple of years, just perform for five people at 1 a.m. Yeah, yeah, because you get good at being a real human. And then when you inject jokes into that, it's just like super powerful.

Starting point is 01:20:24 It's the full list. Yeah. What up? What up? What's up, dude? How's it going, boys? Doing well. You got Chad, JT, and Fahim Anwar.

Starting point is 01:20:38 Let's go. What ails you, brother? Okay. I'm going to be a little vulnerable with you boys okay so you know i'm stoked to go to the sun club this weekend right like without a doubt gotta show up break the world record have to be part of the movement but i'm a little nervous about you know dropping the undies and exposing my sphincter to the world. Because there's going to be potentially a million people there.

Starting point is 01:21:09 I, like, I don't know if I can handle that. You don't feel comfort in there being so many other sphincters there that people aren't going to be able to focus on yours? you know i think that i think that i'm just a little worried that the guinness world record guy is gonna like take a little too long counting mine you know he's gonna lose count and have to come back to mine because i'm the first one he sees i'm just worried about any possibility that my sphincter gets some special attention i would say this, dude. Nervousness is contagious, but so is courage. And when you're around all those other brave souls that are looking for a healthier earth and willing to fight for it and willing to bear their soul and sphincter for it, you're going to get carried by that energy and your pants are going to fly right off.

Starting point is 01:22:02 That's a good point. Yeah, it's called group b-hole think um when you're all shown at the same time you become one mind it's a hive mind you become one it's almost like a gazelle the butthole is a gazelle being lost amongst the pack of gazelles and the lion can't zero in on one butthole there's too many of them right yeah if you look if you looked at 60 buttholes how would you pick which one you ran towards unless you got a really weird butthole but i imagine it's pretty standard there's not much deviation as far as i know yeah well that's another good thing is you do find out how you stack up against other buttholes i think most of us are

Starting point is 01:22:45 stacking up well i've never seen a butthole i didn't like and then also you have friendly people there you can check if you have a polyp or anything that needs investigation oh yeah we're gonna have a proctologist on hand really that'd be great yeah he's gonna be around yeah yeah because there's so much stigma around just that part of the body especially in men that i think it's so important man that for you to even have this anxiety it speaks to what a lot of people are feeling that we don't feel safe when our buttholes are out and that's not fair to us and that's not fair to the kids we're going to raise so we need you out there to just bring light to your butthole and to this issue holy shit that's like an i have a dream speech that was like amazing clip it that was not inspiring i just i don't know man i care

Starting point is 01:23:26 dude you need a fucking mic at the event and say that get a podium you guys got you need a podium for sure i have a butthole can we make sure that quote gets included in the world record write-up we need that whole? I have a butthole. We need that whole speech. You have a butthole, friend. I have a butthole. Wow. Well, you know, I think, yeah, play it by ear.

Starting point is 01:23:57 When you get there, just show up and see how you feel. There's allies. Yeah. Yeah, and it's black speech, so you'll see a bunch of old dudes with their hogs out and you'll feel right not super stoked about that part but but i'll be stoked to be with the stokers yeah for sure i think also yeah once you get into the when in rome show butthole yeah you might have fomo right because if you have the pants on you're like i gotta be a part

Starting point is 01:24:24 of this this is bigger than me. This is bigger than my butthole. Yeah. You know, honestly, I'm more worried about the opposite effect. I'm worried about the downstream repercussion that you can't stop pulling out your butthole and you go full butthole prison experiment

Starting point is 01:24:37 and you start yanking other dudes' shorts down, making them show hole, even when it's not a pro-pro or where it's not the space for it so that's the thing you gotta keep caged you know i've done some stunning this week more this week to prep but i haven't done it with a squad so i do have to make sure it doesn't consume me the group will keep you safe good to know love you

Starting point is 01:25:06 I love you even more JT oh I gotta say boys I was at your locals only show this week you guys crushed it and tell Joe and Shida they crushed it too we will thanks man thanks for coming

Starting point is 01:25:22 you're a legend oh my pleasure dude I was front row laughing at all the jokes because they were all hitting oh dude were you were you on the

Starting point is 01:25:31 let's say you're on the stage were you on the left hand side yeah with the hair oh I know who you are oh that's awesome

Starting point is 01:25:39 what a little piece together like that yeah I remember you I remember looking at you and thinking I'd like to see that dude you i remember looking at you and thinking i'd like to see that dude's butthole one day and for that day to be this sunday bro sometimes life just works out the way you want it to not only did he think that he said that

Starting point is 01:25:55 to me in the green room i couldn't stop talking about you well glad all your dreams will come true this Sunday then be there num num num awesome well thanks for calling in later man great guy yeah we got an event this Sunday we're doing the largest group perennium sunning is it going to be a million people for real

Starting point is 01:26:22 the million butthole I don't want to say march but you're not marching right you're just if we get you there oh man the million special celebrity butthole people are like who i'm like i know you guys are you can't believe i'm actually here i take my pants off oh and then the doctor immediately immediately he's like you should get that checked out like what you're gonna die you're just gonna have no pants yeah i do a reverse burt kreischer i just show up no pants that's really how come no one's done that yet because it's illegal a reverse burt you're doing an interview you're just wearing no pants no visor like who's your biggest inspirer like a burt kreischer kind of gave

Starting point is 01:27:03 away kind of he does the top i do the bottom so it's like parallel thinking like mine's a little you know people conflate us a lot but actually if you watch us perform his is way i have no pants and he has no shirt they're entirely different things like you can see his nipples but you can't see his balls and i think that's a huge difference that's where we differ uh all respect to yes obviously he walked so i could run dude i had one more thing i wanted to check dude so we were bashing not bashing how would you describe it we were kind of calling out the montana boys we were trying to headhunt them a little bit are you familiar with their work i'm not no they do uh like lip syncing to camera for tiktok and they've been all the rage lately especially since their hottest members started dating kristen cavallari of oh wow beach fame so what they do easy to pick

Starting point is 01:27:51 on okay if you're a cynic so this is the lip sync to music so show him another version of that jake so you can get an idea of the full scope can i can i just do a lightning round and you guys help me out yeah sure okay they're they're big from lip syncing this country song? And the hottest one is dating Kristen Cavallari. Okay. From Laguna Beach fame. Interesting. And then they're all from Montana?

Starting point is 01:28:16 Yeah, but they live in Tennessee. They live in Tennessee. They live in Tennessee. So they just started uploading videos of them lip syncing and being hot and then doing like this train thing? Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Do they they do anything besides do we hear their voices ever uh they get out of trucks sometimes okay so this is interesting just uh you know i've been in hollywood for a very long time and you know i've been doing stand-up comedy for 21 years and, you know, working on a craft. And, you know, you bomb for, yeah, it's a lot of work.

Starting point is 01:28:49 You drive these open mics and such. This is my third hour that I've done and I still had to put it on YouTube. It's an incredible amount of work and dedication. It's a lot of work, yes. So you're telling me if I was ripped and good looking and just lip synced to... You're handsome. I just don't know if you're as like creative. Yeah, fuck. I couldn't do lip sync to... You're handsome. I just don't know if you're as like creative. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:29:06 Fuck. I couldn't do this, huh? You could have. You just didn't. Fuck. I mean, you could start. No, it's too late for me. To get that muscle mass and...

Starting point is 01:29:16 Just go like this. I also don't know if people want to see me lip syncing to country music as Fahim Anwar and just like looking all sultry. Me and you. There you go like this. Yeah, and it just has like 23 views. But a lot of guys, my page has 100 of those videos. I'm just trying to be the Montana voice.

Starting point is 01:29:35 A lot of people thought these guys couldn't do it, and then they did. They did it. Okay, so... Oh, shit, what an effect. I take everything I said back. Jay, can you bring up the two clips I just texted you? So Fahim, I had your initial reaction, right? I was like, this is so silly.

Starting point is 01:29:53 These guys don't do anything. Yeah. Why are they everywhere now? But then I saw these two things and it made me question if I even know anything about culture humanity and just how things become popular isn't it interesting though with the advent of tiktok and the evolution of entertainment and there used to be a bar as to like what you had to do talent wise to kind of become huge and it's getting lower as things become more and more bite-sized it's becoming lower you almost just got to get out of bed at this point and you can be huge because even if you were gorgeous back in the day

Starting point is 01:30:36 and you came to hollywood like in the 60s 70s 80s 90s even early 2000s like she's gorgeous but you got to go to acting class you have to just get good enough we could put you on some films and you don't even need to do that anymore it's almost detrimental to like spend all that time learning how to act it's like just be hot and lip sync do you have can you do that for 10 seconds but so here's my thing and i'm kind of doing it just because it's fun to talk about but also kind of it really hit me like so watch these two clips. If you make something that's so easy to make fun of,

Starting point is 01:31:08 and that's so many people want to make fun of, that's so like quick and easy to make fun of. Is that? Well, it's almost genius now because the arguing and the algorithm that is so divisive, there's going to be some people who genuinely love it. And so it's almost like a Rorschach test or something.

Starting point is 01:31:23 Like there's people who love it. Like, Oh my God, this guy's so hot. I love song you boys are killing it loved it this is my favorite keep doing it and there's gonna be people like what the fuck is this the room is burning what is this dog shit is this what we've come to you're just hating i love their spirit and they're gonna create something that hits that perfect intersection of those two things well that gets rewarded now like that dialogue and just venom going on for months at a time of them fighting each other makes it seven million views pop this street so this is sportsenter host doing it. And then watch this one.

Starting point is 01:32:16 It's senior citizens. Like they've created this template that anyone can substitute themselves into and have fun pretending they're them. This is the videoification of that's what she said wow tiktok i'm swear to god it's just like it's entertainment template like oh we can this is what you got to do it's a refillable entertaining yeah it's mad libs like okay okay do this this you have an entertaining thing you do this and this is a comedy thing we gotta have them on we got it you guys gotta make your own version of like maybe it's not this have a song that you do and revisit it like every month you do a new version of a song and you i don't have the

Starting point is 01:32:57 commitment we did randy 30 year olds we tried and it was fun as a one-off but do i have the commitment the durability the tenacity to sink my feet in and do that every day yeah that's commitment they got there they slogged like you like to come up with new jokes that have new ideas in them right yeah that's my problem i need repeatability i need i need yeah i would never dream this up this is me in chat i was just working out a song i was working out a lot yeah that was the whole thing i don't think there ever was one but what's funny about this is like this is your one-off like to experiment like that's their main thing like this is your silly one oh yeah give us some volume on

Starting point is 01:33:47 this jake sounds not available it was in sync on this one all right isn't it funny like is that hard for you to watch especially when you remove the music of course so chad just had a reaction because because Chad was watching himself gyrate shirtless to camera. I'm not a Montana boy. That's what I'm asking. That's something I need to reckon with and I thought I could be, but I'm not. Do you think a Montana boy would see that

Starting point is 01:34:13 and just like, I'm not saying you, but they'd watch themselves and they'd be like, yeah, I love this. He would be like, yeah, I love this. Yeah, he'd crush you like a peanut because you couldn't commit to. Yeah, he's like there's no heart there and you guys are both good looking guys who are in good shape like you guys

Starting point is 01:34:30 could montana if you wanted i want him to start an acting studio and just like random shirtless dudes gyrate and he goes i don't believe you i don't believe this you're gyrating but you're literally going through the motions. You need to put this into it. Watch. He rips his shirt off. He points to a photo of Kristen Cavallari. He's like, you see that?

Starting point is 01:34:53 I'm fucking that. What are you fucking? And I do it in a house that I own. I don't rent. No renters fucking in my house. They put up a bts of their stuff like where they work out what the order is and how they're gonna cap it dude is one of them wearing a turtleneck like it's actually very theatrical like okay then you're gonna come in here um places everybody oh man i'm learning so much we've been we've been really showing them to a lot of guests

Starting point is 01:35:23 because i feel like it's uh yeah thanks for ruining my day dude thank you for coming in thanks for having me thanks for introducing me to the montana boys thanks for letting me chat with your fans they seem really cool i also like how vulnerable they get with you guys you've developed a safe space yeah for them to be raw like ski mask guy yeah dude i was i think about that like what would i do in that situation and you beat yourself up it's worst case scenario yeah and for him to just be bringing it to us and yeah honestly and in the moment i think before you guys develop this space guys would just sit with that and it would be toxic it would weigh on them and you know and sometimes that guy's girlfriend would actually end up getting fucked as a result of that yes because you manifest this worst case scenario and then she kind of picks up on that through

Starting point is 01:36:08 osmosis and he's like i think i want him i think he wants me to do this so i think that's good the relationship you have your fans thanks for letting me and she might want it to happen yeah that's true there's that too but you gotta suss that out pretty quickly hopefully poor guy i know that's not gonna happen though i mean if it did check out the uncut version the raw of house money yeah house money full special on youtube fahim anwar and then you have dates anything i'm doing mothership in may it's so late may check out their website i'm doing fat man that's like the bigger room there so i'm doing two or three nights there and i'm in town for a few months to like build the next hour i have some of it but i have to build more and then maybe

Starting point is 01:36:49 mothership will be when i start to go out on the road again you're the best man i have so many comedian friends who can't watch anything and everyone agrees that you're awesome oh yeah i'm yeah i'm accessible i guess i love watching your clip like my girlfriend we were watching them just they're so good thanks man yeah i'm no montana boys but i'm good in my lane you'll get there i'll get there look none of us yo what if you see my next stand-up clips and i'm just like shirtless with a cowboy hat on and i'm just lipsing in the country music and then it's you go is that madison square garden it worked i'm like don't take my word for it you were just in the montana boys i'm just watching them go through the line and the number five is you then i'm pretty much the joey fatone

Starting point is 01:37:31 of the montana boys just i'm not white or handsome or ripped and i'm just like the last guy in the train and i just do this i go i disagree with a couple of those things but i think you'd i'd call you and you'd be like do i have a huge house out in tennessee no shit i'd be like you could fucking it if you want. I don't have these rules. All right, we got to run. What to do and where to go When you need someone to guide you Just a half-hearted side You call me free

Starting point is 01:38:12 You call me free Let's get deep I'm going deep I'm going deep I'm going deep

Going Deep with Chad and JT - EP 336 - Fahim Anwar

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