Going Deep with Chad and JT - EP 340 - The Hotline goes WILD

Episode Date: May 1, 2024

#goingdeepwithchadandjt #podcast #comedy #allthingscomedy Another Classic Solo with just the bros is on the menu today! We start of the pod with a hard question, If we were the last two people on earth, what would we do? The Bros Negotiate food portions and things take a turn no one expected.  We hear from some AMAZING callers! A fella who recently broke up with his girlfriend after she was deployed to Africa, needs reassurance that he did the right thing. IF YOU ENJOYED HIT THAT LIKE AND SUBSCRIBE!  We are streaming the BTS, Fully unedited version of the pod on Twitch, if you want to chat with us while we're recording, follow here: https://www.twitch.tv/chadandjtgodeep Grab some dank merch here:https://shop.chadandjt.com/ Come see us on Tour! Washington DC is the NEXT STOP, PLUS 12 other DATES!http://www.chadandjt.com If you need advice and want to chat with us, TEXT us with your issue or question at 323-418-2019 and we will add you to the list! (Start with where you're from and name for best possible advice) Check out the reddit for some dank convo: https://www.reddit.com/r/ChadGoesDeep/

what up legends i'm here with jt hello what up legends welcome to the podcast guys uh a couple things up top we're gonna be in washington dc this friday before that we have netflix as a joke show at west side comedy theater in santa monica that's thursday night we have two shows the first show sold out the late show last time i checked there's 29 tickets left so this is coming out this is recorded on monday it's coming out on wednesday so make sure you get on that if you want to come to the show in la um and then dc we're going to be there four shows this weekend arlington draft house i'm feeling like it's going to be a performance of a lifetime like i feel like i'm going to be like share really in dc why because you

just got the heartbeat of america right beneath your feet that's it it's the history but it's also making history yeah i don't know i say because it sounds nice yeah if you want to witness history in the making go to chanjt.com for tickets we're also going to be in santa cruz on may 11th uh we're going to be in ventura may 18th jersey city may 24th in atlantic city may 25th uh the crocodile in seattle may 27th portland may 28th can i try one of these yeah and uh we're gonna be at uh tickets oh punchline phillies i read the right side oh uh no i'm confused oh boston that's june 13th oh nice isn't that a big black holiday june 10th isn't that 19th i was testing you you passed thanks what but we'll be in san diego after that

oh dude i'm excited that's the my second favorite place to perform what's your first guess comedy works yep swing uh and i think uh i think perineum Sun Club stuff is still available. It should be closing this week, so. Oh, they're not going to be able to buy it anymore? Yeah. Well, dude, if they want it, they better get on it quick. Yeah. So I think this is the last week.

And to those of you who ordered, thank you so much for ordering. I think they should be shipping out this week or next week. We will keep you guys posted on that. It's really beautiful clothing. I wear it all the time. And the nice part is if they buy some of it we get money yeah oh that's a cool little kicker too i've been more like on top of that lately you know making money hard but i can do it a little bit now right holding on to money what is that all about that's why they made banks it seems like we don't just i don't can we squish some of that yeah all right let's start the show let's go.

Too fast, man. I'm just curious. Where we going with that oil spill? Man, it's all over your teeth. You need a new grill. You gold, but you ain't bold, man. So you stick in here, I'll climb inside your ass and find your black mold. Hold on, you're live. You're live.

That was raw. That was live? Yeah, you're live. Dude, that last one was bars. Was that bars? That was straight bars. Bro, because I was ripping. Dude, black mold in an ass?

Yeah, right? Dude. I know. I'd be surprised. That was bars, dude. You're the bestest nesters. But when I put my jizz in you, that's going to be the rest of us. Oh, dude.

Who are you talking to in that? Dude, I was kind of talking to Jody Highroller. Oh, yeah, yeah. A prior guest. Yeah. I forget his real name. Dude, I forget, too. What's his name? Rraff right i like you know uh he

was kind of weird on the pod which was great he's he was it was hard to flow with him but then when i watched it i was like oh that was really cool his don't give a fuck attitude is is uh was inspiring it was just i was mad because he took an hour taking a crap yeah he took an hour and his boys were like yo dude he takes the big shit yeah yeah they didn't say that but it was like they were kind of handling us while he was taking forever in the dumper yeah but i don't think he was dumping i don't think he's dumping i thought he was during that that time i'm like damn that that is a power move to like show up to a meeting and just take a crap for an hour can you imagine if you did that yeah i was just like what's up uh he's like someone i'm like steven spielberg nice to meet you i'm like oh i gotta go uh drop some logs off at the pool

and i mean strider but yeah man he takes yeah steven he takes the biggest shits sorry about jt he's crapping yeah jt's just taking the biggest dumps of all time sorry dude had fajitas last night yeah well what i thought was crazy about um mr riffraff was that he took he said he was taking a one hour shit. And then when we were recording the podcast, he looked at me and said, I'm actually shitting now. Yeah. And then I said, well, why'd you make me wait if you're just going to crap while staring at me?

Which was a, I don't know. I don't know where he was coming from emotionally. It's all meta. It was super meta. It's all meta, dude. And I'm not talking about meta. I'm talking about meta that's that's how i meant it too it's not like part of uh like a phone thing it's more of like uh playing with the the

the way you're seeing it yeah it's like our perception of the cultures meta that is wild is that why marky z how am i calling that is that why mark zuckerberg no i i he's not he hasn't earned that i don't know i uh that's reserved for like so i mean maybe he's cool i don't know i don't we know no one knows no one knows does anyone know no who what do you who who is he? It's tough. Well, because he does seem to like UFC fighting. Yeah. But I feel like that's bandwagon stuff.

Oh, wow. You know? Everyone likes it now. That's true. Yeah, where was he? You liked it before it was cool. I liked it when it was like real niche. When I see people go on, and I'm not trying to be a hater, but when I see people go on

Rogan, and they start talking to Rogan about ufc stuff i'm like you just like that because everyone likes it now no that was crazy i mean when rogan was like really ascending and like some comedian friends of ours started doing jujitsu yeah it's like what do you i was like you you're like a you know yeah you're like a poetess what are you doing you don't want to do that you don't want to smell me you like books yeah exactly and then you're like a poetess what are you doing you don't want to do that you don't want to smell me you like books yeah exactly and then you're proud of it and then books are wonderful yeah so be that person dude yeah because they are yeah books are great that that's yeah books are fantastic no i would never burn one unless it was to stay warm oh yeah yeah yeah well okay let's say you're uh you're one

of the uh the donner gang and you're crossing the sierras crew and you're faced in a crisis you got no food no warmth um and my children well there's two options i'm not gonna say children oh you gotta eat your friend frank or burn a book what do you do first let's say you eat frank's calf oh okay so we don't even have to kill him no yeah yeah you just usually eat a part of them yeah dude the tough part for me would be like i'd be so down for either. Oh, for real? Yeah. What would get you more kind of like torqued up?

Eating Frank. Yeah, dude. Eating Frank would be sick. Yeah. Dude, eating a calf. Dude, it would have been hard for me. Like if I was in one of those situations where like you're playing crash in the mountains you guys like don't eat me it would be hard for me to like lie in that moment and be like i won't eat you like i would have been like dude i'm probably

i know if i were dying and i'd be like stop being so honest yeah you'd like just lie to me i'd be like i'm i'm probably gonna probably eat you i love you but if you die i'm gonna eat you and i probably won't feel bad about it at all. I'm just like, oh, no, dude. Don't eat me. You start putting salt on me. You're saving my life, dude. I appreciate it. I would do that.

Dude, he started seizing me. Before you died. I'm like, where'd you get that pepper, dude? You fall out of the big thing. Paprika. Little cumin, dude. Yeah, cumin. before you're like where'd you get that pepper dude you fall out of the big thing paprika yeah little cumin dude you make me put like that thing in my mouth the fucking green shit yeah what is that called what is the apple parsley oh yeah is it parsley i don't think i get confused in that section in the store i don't know any of that stuff like the little run of green seasonings yeah it's all this it's like parsley and what time time like the clock no you can eat time

i like that idea but you'd rather eat you'd rather eat frank yeah eating eating my friends sounds good i i don't want to make this awkward but of your high school of your fantasy squad who would you most like to eat oh good question in order it'd go paul connor luke connor and then trevor moylan oh dude i'd eat them too yeah they're perfect yeah dude the delectable little treats dude i'd saute they're perfect they're perfect mancha they're also they're all good energy so yeah i you know it's really a compliment uh-huh is that nikki glazer's in here that'd be sick wow wow nikki glazer's been eating time for 10 years that's so cool she's in here wow what's up nikki dude yeah the most confused i ever get is when my girlfriend sends me

on a mission to get food from the grocery store. Because I'm all about the basics. I get butter, steak, avocado. Mountain Dew. She gets, she's like, get, um, get paprika. Get thyme.

And I'm asking them how to get thyme. And they, like, hand me a plant. And I'm like, that's not thyme. And I'm calling her. I'm like, this whole, you're asking me to eat thyme. Is this a riddle? And then she's like, get, you know, get salt rub and get vanilla. And I'm like, these are flavors. This isn't food. You know what I'm saying? Totally. I was just like remembering that time I came to meet you at Trader Joe's.

You were mid-mish. Yeah. And the manager was yelling at you. He's like, there's 24 hours in a day. I can't change that. Yeah. And you were like, if i don't bring time home i'm in trouble yeah and the manager was like that's not my problem yeah i can't give you

time sir you know what happened that night she beat me whoa well, you know, you did fuck up. I know. I deserved it. I asked her to. You know, when a woman hits you, there's a part of us that I feel like, you know, because I've been beaten. I've had girlfriends just, you know, backhand me. So you think that's funny don't ever speak at a turn and then they say no kiss my hand and uh you know it's hard for me to tolerate but at a certain

point i realized what what am i how can i improve how can i be better and it was really about just uh you know dressing sharper doing my hair yeah taking care of myself wow so you're saying getting beaten by your girlfriend's has been had a positive effect on you yeah 100 it's it's it's like what you make of it really yeah is that when you started trimming your beard yeah yeah because i wanted to i wanted the red marks to show right as a reminder to myself because i remember arnold schwarzenegger used to cut the the bottom part off his jeans tournament he could have just bought shorts i guess but he wanted everyone to always see his calves because they were weak and so i always wanted people to see the handprint on my face right oh man yeah i've never seen that it was really hard for

me right there not to say my ex's name and just totally out her on the podcast but i'm not gonna stoop to that level yeah that's good you guys want to take a call i'm not gonna say her name jake all right do you want to call her she's famous i don't want to bring whatever it is she does down all right no i don't want to call her okay um can we call frank yeah let's call frank all right i'm down guys we're live on twitch uh if you're listening to a recording check us on twitch you can interact with us live and you can hear about how we got beaten alive um dude you know what's really disheartening is when we put up a council speech and then

you get comments like this country's fucked do you i've been thinking about that a lot lately that actually genuinely affects me yeah and uh yeah i've been i've i've i've i've been grappling with that as well hello oh what's up guys oh what up um oh i just let you know i called in a couple pods ago about my first time drinking oh is this hampton uh yeah oh did you want to be anonymous ah it's fine all right thanks man hampton in hambo yeah so uh how's it going dude pretty good uh let's see so when i when i did drink for the first time i followed your advice chad i had some coronas i uh well i went to my buddy's apartment and he has like a he's like a balcony great view it's a great spot and i had coronas with limes

and i'm told that's like the the best um but yeah and then i played some some pong and some rage cage you guys know what rage cage is i don't know if there's different lingo but no that one's tough that's where it's like like 100 cups out on the table and you're just pulling them like super fast yeah yeah and you like try and bounce the ball and then if it gets stacked on you you have to drink one from the middle that one got me really effed up yeah i i almost got got on that one but i was i was good so how'd it go um i didn't get too drunk let's see i had like so i had like six cronos of limes and then uh like a couple drinks from like pong and uh rage cage and i mean i got like tipsy but it wasn't like it wasn't like fucked up did you space it out no i i remember everything uh i mean did you

like space out your drink because that that seems like for your first time that's a solid amount of bruise yeah i think like i spaced out this the drinks over a course of like three hours so what what was uh what surprised you in a good way about drinking um uh like i don't know i mean i just laughed a lot like at stuff yeah like we watched i watched um what was it roadhouse with jake gyllenhaal and uh conor mcgregor it was hilarious but i mean i don't maybe i think i think i laughed more than i would have but i mean it just got a little hard to to walk but uh people kept coming up to me like oh are you feeling it yet i don't feel anything but no i was for the most part i was pretty i don't know in control do you feel uh less nervous about drinking

yeah i mean i wasn't i wasn't too nervous to begin with i guess but like uh yeah there's less i don't know, because I kind of wanted to make, like, a big thing out of it, so now that I've done that, I feel like I can just have one whenever. So you plan on drinking again? Yeah, yeah. Not too often, but, you know. Did you feel hungover?

No, not really i mean i had like a headache for like 10 minutes when i woke up but that's probably because i didn't get that much sleep like i had some water before i went to bed and stuff so yeah i mean did you uh did you feel like you were gonna maybe like kiss somebody um i don't i don't think i get that kind of drunk i don't get me i'm not like i wasn't super affectionate i don't think i wasn't i know people get like i don't start hugging their rose when they get drunk i don't i don't think i really did that too much um let's say you're in a survival situation and he had to choose between burning a book to stay warm or eating your friend frank what would you do first uh can i eat just as cast like before

can i do i have to eat all of frank uh i think for you because you're coming becoming an adult now, you have to eat all of Frank. Got to get the calories in. Hopefully Frank's been eating healthy. I need some good calories, some protein in there too. I think I'd eat Frank. Good. It's damn good to hear. good it's damn good to be here

do you think if you had to rate your first drinking experience 1 to 10 what would you give it I'd say I'd say it was a solid 8 I didn't do anything too crazy

but it was a it was a chill night nice alright so what are you gonna do the next time you drink are you thinking I didn't do anything too crazy, but it was a chill night. Nice. All right. So what are you going to do? The next time you drink, are you thinking shots? Oh, yeah.

Well, that's the thing. I want to get drunk more efficiently as far as calories go. Because, I mean, like I woke up the next morning, I thought I'd feel guilty, but I was just like, oh, the calories. So if I want to get drunk again, I want to be efficient. Do you have a nice body? Um, I mean, I stay in shape. Sounds like something a fit person would say. He's fit, yeah. That's cool, man.

Do you have a desire to get just hammered? I think once. I want to get hammered once so I know what it's like. I don't think I want to make that a habit, but I want to know what it's, but I don't know.

I want to, I want to know what it's like. So if you had like a dream for what your life would look like in 10 years, can you paint us a picture? Shoot. Um, let's see. I'm in college right now for civil engineering. So I'd be a civil engineer engineer by then. I'd have a civil engineer engineer by then I'd have a dank-ass wife and then I in the evenings drink scotch I don't know what scotch tastes like yet but I drink scotch and like read novels nice and just so we're clear civil engineers engineer civil wars um no buildings and bridges and whatnot uh well then who's who who engineers the civil wars

oh man do we got to go deep on that uh I don't know George Soros I don't know who that is but he sounds like he engineers Civil Wars I don't know who that is but he sounds like he engineers civil wars so that's um so like when you and your wife 10 years from now after you have your scotch do you guys drink together how hard do you party I don't know I mean I think then me and my wife will have a glass of wine and chill and watch dune 3 whenever that comes out and then maybe in 10 years how many times you guys think you guys how times do you guys think you guys, how often do you think you guys will have sex? Oh, I don't know.

I don't know how well I'll be doing in that department in 10 years. Hopefully pretty well. Many times. Over the night. I don't know. Have you? I have not. Oh, oh nice that's so nice do you have a lady in mind that you'd like to do it with uh not really man yeah you're taking i gotta get out there more i think no

no rush baby it happens when it happens sadarth ass predicts he'll be having sex twice a week that's pretty good pretty good it's better better than now yeah but you know what now it's kind of good though man because you're you get to do it for the first time that's pretty cool yeah you know it's like uh it's like seeing a movie for the first time you can only do that oh yeah yeah like imagine if you could watch the sopranos for the first time again yeah it's good on rewatches yeah did the first like yeah the first time it goes in you're like whoa whoa is sex for the first time better than the Sopranos? No. Close. Which one's better?

Sopranos is really... It's really good. It's really good. It's so elegant, the writing. The Pines episode? It's incredible. Is that better than losing your virginity? Like if I can only keep one in my memory? Mm-hmm.

It's so hard for me, because I did lose my virginity to polly walnuts oh oh yeah that's right so similar he's a good lay yeah he's fire fuck hampton yeah yeah he he he he he I've had enough of this espresso shit yeah oh shut the fuck up um dude that's nice man

so it seems like you're hitting some of these developmental milestones later than most people do uh yeah is that intentional well i mean i grew up religious and only until like about a year and a half ago did i like leave my church i feel like i'm kind of like slowly, I don't know, experiencing these things

or like, I don't know. Yeah. No, it's good. It must be very charming for people who are around you. Yeah, I hope so. I mean, I don't know. And by leaving your church, did you denounce your faith? Or are you still, do you still believe in God? You're just not affiliated with the church?

Yeah, I mean, I consider myself agnostic. I don't know if anyone really knows if there's a God or not. But yeah, I mean, as far as like renouncing my faith, it wasn't like a super-duper public thing. I mean, like people who are close to me know, but yeah. And so what do you think the meaning of your life is? Shoot, man, that's deep. I think the meaning of my life is to make other people happy and get big muscles. Wow. That's really nice. Something for them, something for you.

Yeah. That's so sweet, man. You see, every day you're like, did I make people happy today? Did I help the people around me feel a little bit better? Yeah, I mean, I'd probably check up on that more often. I don't think I do that every day, but, you know, I try. There's something so joy, stoke-inducing about a Jack guy who helps people. It's nice. It's fun to picture

You guys are getting pretty jacked too I'm seeing you guys are bulking up Thanks man JT's getting that dad strength too Yeah dude Yeah I did yoga sculpt today with Cece She's She's great

Uh yeah Pooper pooper mcfarts says uh no rush dude enjoy these milestones and you know uh take each moment in you know you had your first brewski um you have yet to fornicate with your first person. And, you know, there's so many firsts in your life, and it's going to be so sick. I'm really excited for you. And it fires me up. Yeah, thanks. Keep that nice spirit you got.

Yeah. Oh oh for sure i do i do have to say something though uh as far as joe going vegetarian that shook me to my core yeah man i mean we're all that was like fallout that's weird yeah i was like lebron going to miami he sent me a lot of angry text messages the following day oh he did yeah he was like look man i'm vegetarian i'm not coming i've never been happier now back the fuck off i didn't even text him before that yeah and he said he said he said like you piece of shit cocksucker come meet me at eight o'clock i want to hang out and if you don't fucking show up i'm gonna throw a fucking egg at your head because i don't eat them and uh i hate you but i love you get over here he was all over the map but he said he was happy he said yeah he says it's the happiest he's ever been yeah i saw him

in person he was like yelling at this bouncer and then he grabbed me so i'm so happy man yeah has he has he come yet no no he was like he was bragging about that too he's like i don't he he's he kind of had me pinned against the wall and he was i haven't come and i don't want to and i'm so happy i haven't yeah and then he kind of slammed me to the ground yeah and i was like i was shaking myself off and he was like you feel that you feel that that's just pure gentle joy wow i uh i picture his he might you know since he's doing his retention he might have a wet dream and this is joe waking up from his wet dream oh damn it i'm breaking up with my dreams they turned on me i i do that to be honest

i watched every watch that clip of him talking about it hundreds of times. What's different? Everything. He's the best. Joe is the best. All right, Hampton. We're going to let you hit it, dude. Thank you for calling in, man.

Call us with another update as you progress through all this. But feel no pressure from us. We're happy to talk to you even if nothing happens. Yeah. Oh, for sure. And keep us updated. We love these firsts you're going through in life. It's so exciting.

It's so fun. Yeah, man, it's cool. It's a special thing. And life is more fun when you treat things special. All right. Thanks, guys. Thank you. Yeah. Have a great special. All right. Thanks, guys. Thank you. Have a great night.

All right, you too. Dude, there's nothing that makes me happier than some of the names on the chat, especially when they come in with something really kind of wise and poignant, and their name will be like Siddharth ass or pooper mcfarts or yeah well it's just people trying to make life like you know smarter yeah i remember when i used to stream uh call of duty during covid one of the one of the most prominent uh chat guys was dog genitals nicest guy i've ever met you sweetheart yeah yeah he sounds like a good dude yeah hey man can i can i say something kind of serious yeah um so you know like bagging means

a lot to us yeah like we love to play call of duty we love to drop our nuts on a downed opponent's face and it's brought us a lot of joy and you know it's done that in other iterations to halo and stuff and so we went to the city council and we told the government how much bagging means to us and um in the process of talking about bagging i didn't mention that ladies who play all these first person shoots when they hit it it's called a clam slam and you're torn up about that i feel really bad did you get a lot of messages not a ton but just a couple people who were like hey man I thought you know you're about inclusivity and it is something I care about so for me to let down all the you know all my friends out there who play and who clam slam I hope

you accept my apology and I will work towards being better and it won't happen again so that's it thank you for talking about this I know that was tough and I know we could go back and bring a lady gamer with us or you could make that caveat

like do you remember my speech from two weeks ago I forgot to include and bring a lady gamer with us. Or you could make that caveat, like do you remember my speech from two weeks ago? I forgot to include clam slamming. That's where a female opponent slams her vagina on the face of a downed opponent. I'd like to do that if given the opportunity. Yeah. And with permission from you. Oh, you got my permission.

And my lady gamer friends and from the city. From the city, yeah city yeah you guys are talking real quiet today you're getting real real whispery for some reason we're just trying stuff out sometimes it's a vibe you ready for a new call yes can i kind of say one more thing yeah dude you know these colleges they're having all these protests strategically couldn't they have just waited the schools like summer break was like two weeks away the kids were gonna go home what's yeah i mean you just didn't have to do nothing the kids aren't gonna stay past the school year so let them kick it there until finals do protesters acknowledge summer break that for sure i think everyone wants to uh

go home and go to the beach yeah do you think a lot of the protesters are like ah damn my family's in tuckett i better go play big beer pong i think, honestly, yeah. I think a lot of them would have been like, hey, well, I don't want to pay for... Supposed to be in Cape Cod right now. Yeah, we have plans. Yeah. Makes sense. Hello?

Hello? Is this a lady? Yes, it is. Oh, neat. Oh, cool. Hey, what's up? How are you? Hey, what's up? How's it going? Just chilling. Oh, neat. Cool. Hey, what's up? How are you? Hey, what's up?

How's it going? Just chilling. Cool, cool. How are you doing? Good. This is the podcast, people. So what's the fucking deal? I'm just providing an update on my brother, who listens to you guys all the time and calls

in all the time oh who's your brother um he wants to be anonymous is it butt trucker by the name bus driver yes oh bus driver he's how's bus driver doing um his fish died but oh then yeah and then he went into hyper mode trying to find a lady uh-huh oh wow to like solve the pain yeah it's a hard couple of weeks um bus drivers but and pardon me i'm so stoked that you're here but why are you giving the update and not bus driver um because he doesn't want people to know what he did what did he do and he thinks that you guys well i so bus driver he's actually everybody's, why doesn't bus driver have a lady? Because he's super fit.

He does CrossFit. We're like, what is his deal? So I told him to be himself. And then he's been seeing this lady for a couple of weeks now. And it's because he shot his shot and he sent her like a cheap $1 cameo from this person asking her on a date and it worked. Oh. Wow. I know.

So there you go for your listeners. Have you met the, have you met Bus Driver's new gal? Not yet. I've seen pictures. Is Bus Driver stoked stoked i think so but his fish died maybe he's still hung up on the fish on the fish yeah he'll probably never get over it but and so you're his older sister yes are you the baby are you is your name taxi driver yes fickle pickle

i actually prefer big mama oh and uh yeah that's the update thanks is everything in your life good you're good yeah i'm just an old lady trying to help out my brother do you do you listen to our podcast or just bus driver um i listen to all the ones that he's on but what do you listen to normally first well this other podcast called give it to me straight it's about married people so are you but the one episode of yours that i listened to was about a guy who masturbated into his couch a little too much for you it was funny but a little crass i listen to you guys occasionally are you married i am how long you've been married uh five years and uh so when you listen to give it to me straight podcast is because you relate to it

because you're looking for advice um both and they're funny you guys are funny too what uh what do you think is the key to arguing effectively in a marriage? Ooh. Well, my go-to is silent treatment, but probably communication. You typically go towards silent treatment? I do. And then your husband, is he like, hey, talk to me? Or like, oh, you're doing that thing again. You're doing the silent thing. Or is he like, I do. And then your husband, is he like, hey, talk to me? Or like, oh, you're doing that thing again.

You're doing the silent thing. Or is he like, I understand. He's actually like, I understand. Which is, I know he's a saint. Wow. So you would say that he's the more mature one when it comes to conflict? Probably. Probably. one when it comes to conflict um probably would he do you think he would have enjoyed the couch episode i actually did play on the couch episode how do you uh repay him for his maturity in conflict how do I repay him is that what you say no no what's bus driver doing right now, what's he up to?

He actually visited our older brother, and he said he's recovering. What's he recovering from? His fish. Oh. Just a fun weekend, I think. Oh. But he's debating not going to the gym tomorrow to hang out with his new lady.

That's where it starts. That's where it starts. Next thing you know, he's going to put cream in his coffee. Yeah, and lotion on his face. I know. I told him, it's the you, and the right one will come. That's awesome. That's awesome. That's awesome. Well, congrats to you.

You sound like you're living life the right way, and you feel like you've got a good brother and bus driver. Thank you. Nice chatting with you, Uber driver. She's great. Salt of the earth. she's great salt of the earth i do that how great are our listeners that they could be like look i can't talk to i'm hung over my fish died but they have such great family members that they'll call in i think it's it's

we're trying to build something here that's open to cousins and uncles and stuff. I love that. Yeah. You never really hear about podcasts that extend to extended family. No. That's awesome. Do you watch anything lately? I can never remember what I watched.

What did I watch last night? Oh, God. Do you remember, like, what you did on Friday? Let me look at my calendar. That's cheating. What did I do on Friday? Oh. I don't even know what the fuck I'm...

Yeah, I think I went to... I hung out in South Bay. And I went to West Side Comedy at 10. Oh, nice. I went to West Side twice last week. I like that room. It's cool. It's the same similar warm audience. what'd you do

friday what did i do whoa i think uh oh never mind you know uh a lot of my days blend into each other just because we our days are just so random we're just like what was friday was saturday but now i'm i'm starting to remember now i think i did a show we shot something oh yeah yeah yeah oh yeah we're selling supplements now yeah guys sun don't shine it's our new supplement it's only 80 a bottle um it's targeted vitamin d for your perineum it'll give you all the boost that you would get from the sun had you done it live and an rl um we're super proud of the product and the research and development that went into it

you know we did a third party double blind testing the scores were super super encouraging like we saw a massive change from the uh the control group and i don't know it's uh i don't want to say it's a panacea because it's not there's no you know it's all part of but it's a big piece of the puzzle yeah it's uh i took some today i've never felt better i walk the uh walk the dog twice uh in one hour i did 10 miles unbelievable those numbers are huge when you feel when you feel god's tickle on your taint you can do anything have you have you od'd on it yet nice but it's it's sort of like shrooms you can't technically od you just feel so good so you just keep taking it yeah it's more like is tomorrow gonna suck because this was like

So you just keep taking it. Yeah, it's more like, is tomorrow going to suck? Because this was like the best. Should we call another person? Yeah, I think so. Hello. Hey. Hello.

How's it going? Good, man. How are you? I'm good. My name's Jeff. Nice. I thought you were going to say Frank. So we had our first fantasy football season last season, and it didn't go well for me.

I finished last, and there's no excuse for it, but I was in Thailand for about three weeks. So time change, not able to set the line up but no excuse it was bad I sucked and because it was our first year we needed to decide on a bunch of stuff we needed to know what the we need to vote on what the buy-in would be we needed to know what the payout was going to be keeper picks draft all that stuff and we also needed to decide on a punishment but we never did before the season started there was no unanimous vote on what the punishment was going to be and that's a problem for me, obviously, because I finished last, but mostly because there's a number of guys in our league

who wouldn't be doing certain things, punishments, that would be more on the embarrassing side. And so now, and I'm not one of those guys. I would be down to embarrass myself, no problem. But now the group is giving me a hard time because they're throwing out suggestions of stuff to do. And I, on principle, am refusing to do those things because it wasn't decided on before the season started.

So what are some of the things they've suggested that you said no to? So a lot of these, so we tried to decide on something before the season started. And a lot of these things were my suggestions. Like I would totally be down to do something a little embarrassing to get a laugh for the fellows. There were, you know, like the ones that you see all over the place, people doing the 24-hour Denny's challenge. You've got to eat the pancakes. You eat a pancake, you take an hour off your time, but you've got to be there for 24 hours. There's take a bus trip.

So we're from toronto so take a bus trip to windsor which is not a great place or thunder bay also not a great place and a long ways away um these are your suggestions or theirs no well some of them so what my suggestion was to you we had, loser had to run for mayor in a small town until you won or died. So you got to enter the mayoral race in a small town in Ontario. Maybe forever. That seems like a lot. I was willing to do it if we had agreed upon it. The other ones, you know, do a stand,up, do a five-minute stand-up set.

No problem with that. But like I said, nothing was agreed upon, and there's guys in the fantasy league that I know for a fact would not be doing these things if they finish last. I guess, which is totally fair, but the thing that I'm getting caught guess which is totally fair but the thing that i'm getting caught up on is that you don't sound egocentronic on it like you're saying you're totally fine with it but then you're saying but i'm not going to do it so to me you don't sound

totally fine with it because it sounds like if you were you'd do it even if it wasn't because of last place. Right. But then in the back of your head, you have this feeling like I'm doing my part. But if I didn't finish last and my buddy finished last, he wouldn't do it. No, I think on a technical level, you are correct. And I guess what I'm pursuing is the the emotional part that's underneath it because the real question is do you not want to do it because because it's wrong or is it also because like you feel like it would be

them punking you but is there also a part of you that feels like it would be great for the group so maybe you should do it that that's that's my thing I I would love to do it you know for group, for the future of the league, because it's our first year. Yeah, you want to boost morale. Yeah, you want to boost the morale. You want to keep it going for years to come. But at the same time, I wanted it to be something that was agreed upon

by the whole group and that I know would be done by the whole group because then next year's comes around. I don't finish last, hopefully. And I want to know that you being right on this while right is dull and unheroic. The move right here, because you are this guy too,

I can hear it in your voice and i can hear the conflict you're feeling is to step up and do something that was your own idea and to do it because you just love that idea because you know it'll fire the crew up and i think you do that and you make this league something better than it could have been without you. I like it. It's sound advice. Let me ask you a question. If you hadn't gotten last,

would you be pushing the person in last place to do something? It's a good question. I guess I would be. I do have some members of the group on my side, but there's some people that obviously they see the logic in it. But there's obviously some guys that just want to see something done and i think if i take jt's advice maybe the thing to do will be to do it when they least expect it and then post it in the group chat as a surprise and get the boys fired up and then you still have agency

but i think what chad hit on there was really gigantic this is where his conflict is coming from too is that he knows if he had the gun he'd be pulling the trigger i wouldn't say i would do that i i would definitely be like the few guys that are on my side where i i wouldn't be pushing for them to do something. I would love to see them do something, but I re I really think I could see the logic in it. Is there a guy in the group who you think would do the thing with you? Probably I could, I could find a couple can we call them

it's midnight here so probably not very polite um i mean this is going to set the precedent for the future of your of your group you gotta you gotta you gotta do something major here you gotta you gotta you gotta what's your name frank jeff sorry i'm saying that's a joke um you got you got you got to get them saying dude remember when jeff just freaking you know bit the bullet and and base jumped off of uh you know niagara falls for us without even you know what i mean And so then when future people get last, they're going to be like, they're going to be like, I don't want to do it. I don't want to do it.

And I'm like, dude, but what about Jeff? Look what he did. He died. Right. But what if I base jump off of Niagara Falls and the guy who finishes last year goes and eats 10 pancakes at Denny's. Well then, you get

a sick Red Bull video out of it. Yeah. You don't choose the war you fight in. That's right. Your reality is your reality and it's offering you up a specific choice

and so look man your legal ease checks out but that does not inspire people and if you're calling in here midnight your time it's because you want to inspire JT makes a great right jt makes a great point too let's say you win the argument

and you don't do anything everyone in the crew is probably going to resent you yeah and think that you're kind of a boner killer but you want to be your group's boner giver you want to you want everyone to have erections like joe maurice he does right now because he hasn't busted in months well yeah because when you gave them all these ideas for potential punishments you were in effect giving them all boners and now the end of the season has come and it's time for everyone to bust and you're like oh but i didn't know i was gonna have to be the one to also make you come yeah and i think i'm edging and look sometimes

we don't feel ourselves getting into our you know under our knees and like you know getting the dicks in our hands but when we wake up and they're there you know it's your duty to finish the job you're right mom lem says you'll be known as the old stick in the mud and nikki glazer says a boner grower is better than a boner killer yeah i mean i think it's i think it's pretty you got to do something i mean look come on man you can go to denny's and eat a pancake every 10 minutes i mean what are you a fucking pussy i i knew you were gonna take this stance jt yeah i'm not surprised either brother listen man you're good shit dude we're just fucking pals

and we're talking alright you guys should come to Canada we will man we do want to can I ask a question yes does JT have any legal

troubles that's preventing him from crossing the border? There was a time. But here's the thing, dude. When you make mistakes in Orange County, you also have an Orange County lawyer. So here's a word you won't hear about from the disenfranchised. Expunged. I only ask because I would help you. I would help you get it are you a lawyer no but i know some oh yeah what do you do we get you over here what do you do frank uh i do research you like a historian yeah that sounds like a code name for cia agent if we're thinking of i just watched some of all fears oh dude do a good movie

affleck dude surprised he could fit through the doors at Guantanamo. Quantico. It both kind of makes sense. Actually makes more sense at Guantanamo because it's like tight prison cells and shit. Damn it. Just go with your first mistake. Tanner, it was good talking to you, man. I'm just kidding.

You know you gotta end it with a pop pop. Sorry, what was your fuck it it's jeff jeff i'm sorry man we got to cut that from the aired episode i can't be that big of a hillbilly dick shit no it's hilarious wasn't it okay i feel bad he's a good dude no i jeff we love you man i think i think that's good advice. And I think he heard us. And I think he's a freaking legend, dude. Yeah. Did we already talk about the new T-Swift album on here?

I don't think so. Oh, we did a little bit last episode, I think. I only listened to part of one song. You're not a big fan. i don't mean that as an accusation i just mean i never heard you yeah i'm a dualipa guy oh dude that's fire i love dualipa i kind of like setting that up as like the other camp too yeah i uh i just love dualipa do you feel like she's criminally underrated yeah i think she's i think she's the whole package i think she has incredible voice incredible looks and also she overcame heavy criticism she had that dance which honestly

you look at that dance from uh should we pull it up yeah from this song from the calvin harris song one kiss um where she's moving her hips. I think it's hot. I watch it, and I'm like, I think it's hot. It's from the live one, right? Or is it from the music video? Yeah, I would search Dua Lipa dance. Yeah, because a lot of people know this, but a lot of people probably don't.

Yeah. She was heavily criticized for her bad dancing. Or just her stage presence. Right. People said she didn't give any energy. It was a bad dancing or just her stage presence right people said she didn't give any energy it was a little amateur no stage presence she didn't give it up i saw her in concert bro not uh go down go down i might have talked about it i did i dressed completely wrong for that event. Yeah. I heard she just... When I watch performances now, she gives it up.

That's a good way of describing it. She leaves it all out on the floor. She empties the tank? On the stage, yeah. It seems like. The one where she's wearing the orange pants. This is the one. You could's wearing the orange pants this is the one you could also search evolution of her dance that's pretty good i love it are you sure this is the one this is the one

yeah okay but see it's kind of all she does oh yeah it's going on for a bit too long and then see how she's dancing it's like oh whoa you know what that reads like to me yeah that's jet lag oh i don't know dude do you experience jet lag on stage if you're in front of 10 000 people yes for me it doesn't matter if it's 10 000 15 000 i there's if i'm tired i'm tired let's say you're at the your um coachella like sure jt's tired well yeah even when we did our shows in like uh appleton i mean there was what is 12 000 and i was tired so i couldn't it betrayed me a little bit yeah i look yeah there's no yeah that's pretty bad the 2018 one is bad not to be you know holier than thou but i mean wow oh so some people in the chat are saying is it bad choreo i mean do you put it on

that's that i mean we i it's bad journalism if i don't tell the truth here that's bad yeah but look at this dude oh my god and now she does the dance jake this clip has to be in the finished product of this can we can we watch that that 10 seconds switcheroo now she does the dance a better way to stick it to the haters. Right. She's like, the ingredients were right. Look at that. Look.

That is unbelievable. Dude, you got to work your fucking ass. I don't want to curse. You got to work your butt off to get that much better at something. Yeah. You know, I asked Chigas when we were driving to san diego i'm like would you let we might want to cut this because it's a little graphic but i was like would you let do a take a dump on your chest and he said yeah he said if she wanted to i'd let her i dude i'm my vote is we don't cut any of that no i wouldn't cut any of it should we check with gigas that's such a good that's like a good point

there's no way that'd be so nice there's no way do you imagine not to not to chase the same gold but the way you're not a taylor guy you're a dualipa guy can i apply that to other like uh do you love uh austin butler uh not particularly so if you're not an austin butler guy whose guy are you chalamet what about you i'm not a butler guy i do like him in things like i think he's good in once upon a time yeah but that was like a smaller part but he was great and then i thought he was good in uh dune i wasn't as excited about it as some other people but i did like it and maybe it'll be i'm gonna re-watch it maybe to fucking rip shit on the second one yeah but chalamet is he's awesome he's the guy he's awesome and he's, Butler seems like a very nice guy, but he's a little too sexy. Chalamet is very good looking, but he uses his personality to make himself even more sexy.

I think Butler relies too much on his looks. Okay. And so do you feel like that makes chalamet more inspiring too because it's like oh that guy got to where he is because he's just the man like it's like a self-belief thing yeah well that's not right but like an inner an inner i think uh i think he yeah i think he as a, he probably wasn't like the hot dude, shall we? It's hard to picture him at school. Yeah, I don't.

Well, I think he did Interstellar. He was probably acting at like 14, right? But I think he's so endearing because he's like kind of awkward and goofy, but like women find it sexy because he really cares about the art. And Butler, I think, was like, I'm going to work so hard at being Elvis where it's like people like, wow, he really played Elvis really well. But that it felt to me, it felt like that was all he's got he's i'm gonna do this to obtain the status and then i'm gonna cruise where chalamet just loves the craft he's on a real journey of like artistic discovery yeah you think butler was just like oh i gotta pay my dues with like one deep artistic performance but after that i'll

have access to everywhere i want to be yes yeah he just wanted the membership yeah that's how i feel interesting what do you think i don't know if i read it that way that's a pretty unique specific perception but a compelling one i think for me what's cool about chalamet is kind of what you're talking about he's like he's not a tough dude. At least he doesn't physically read that way. Yeah. He might be a tremendous kickboxer. I don't know.

Yeah. But he's such a good actor that when he's in stuff like The King or Dune and he's got to be tough. Yeah. He completely makes it believable. Yeah. And I think that's like, it's kind of what you're talking about and you sparked it for me is that's what makes me love acting is when this person is one thing is it's, yeah, it's another thing.

Yeah. And he's amazing at that. And he can do so much different stuff. Yeah. And he's so young and he's already done so much different stuff. Yeah. Yeah, it's wild. I don't feel any jealousy towards him.

No. Yeah. Jealousy's hilarious. It is. But you know what? I do think you should feel some yeah because it's it's biologically natural i think you should acknowledge the feeling i don't think it's possible to not feel jealousy yeah and i actually this might this might not be true i don't even think it's healthy to not feel jealousy yeah to me it's like such a part of being alive as any animal i feel like animals

experience jealousy i think you can experience jealousy in a joyful way too where you're like where you're like i'm i'm because i think to say oh i'm not jealous of anyone that's that's a lie but then to be jealous of people and have it make you angry, that's also destructive. But to be like, I'm jealous of Chalamet. He motivates me. Or like, I'm jealous of Brad Pitt. He motivates me to like want to work harder or get more ripped. Be your best self. Yeah.

Yeah, I guess, yeah. It's energy. Like jealousy is energy. Anger is energy. It's bad if you let it turn into a bad action. But if you channel it, it's energy like jealousy is energy anger is energy it's bad if you let it turn into a bad action but if you channel it yeah that's it's good yeah yeah but yeah i'm not jealous of chalamet i feel like he's like uh i feel like that'd be like me being jealous of like an angel right yeah a french angel yeah like we're not even doing the same thing no he's like a croissant yeah in form yeah you are a croissant i have to go buy one and i'm not even

you know i can only go once a week right wow wow uh before we get into the next call i got a little uh situation i i i talked to jt about this off air but yesterday i was at the park uh-huh and i saw this beautiful lady right i walked this park often and this lady caught my eye she was alone she was very nice gave off good energy but my dumb ass didn't have the courage to speak to her the first time i saw her so i just walked around the park like eight more times what do you think it's weird if i approach her after going around her eight times chad or is that not weird wait so you're at the park yeah i'm at the park you saw a lady you were attracted to yeah you were nervous to approach exactly and so you walked around eight times because you were kind of like trying to make the attempt and then backing out is that correct yeah so like the park is like a loop right and she was like walking her

dog around the loop but then she like sat on a bench in this spot uh-huh and then i just walked past her on the loop eight times and like every single time i was like thinking in my head i should say hi but then i didn't so then what i did is i ended up calling jt and i was like hey man should i still approach her or is that crazy what do you think uh i think if it's a loop where it makes sense that you'd be walking around in circles then you can approach um do you know a lot of loops like that well so i guess around the park so mega stoker and chad that was kind of what i was thinking as well too i was like the what i was going to say to her is i'm sorry to bug you um you know i've walked around

eight times and i just now got the courage to say hi um so i think that's adorable yeah i think that's cute she's i will tell you that she has heard worse yeah and the thing was too is the like one of the times i was going to approach her her dog like ran into another dog and then she started talking to this other person and i was like fuck so i i think i was just way too in my head you know yeah but you think you'll see her again yeah the way i mean okay this is gonna sound even weirder but the way her like dog knew the park i kind of felt like she was familiar with the area so i kind of i think i'll see her again maybe next weekend or something that is detailed analysis

that's what i'm saying it sounds weird now i'm sounding like a stalker right no no no you just sound like you're invested yeah i think you can say hi i think you got to approach her and just look her you know square in the eye and say what that ass do yeah can you can you that's i think that's right can you can you say that to us real quick so we can hear how it's gonna sound hey girl what that ass do it's perfect i'm horny yeah i don't know what you're nervous about when you're sitting on like you know yeah a thousand horsepower well i don't that is true i don't know why i i think what really psyched myself out was like by time eight i was like yo you know clearly she's gonna be like this guy if he was interested he would have said something the first time, right?

I don't know. Oh, no, no, no. It just seems weird. Like circling, circling her and being like, that's kind of hilarious. Actually. It's like, cause, cause that, cause you know what I like about that though?

Cause you're actually coming from a place of confidence when you say that. Cause then you're thinking that she's disappointed that you didn't throw rhythm at her after the first one. So she's already written you off as being too aloof. Yeah, exactly. Like she's like, does this guy act, is he actually interested? Because he's already seen me eight times.

And now he finally wants to see me. Oh, so did you feel like with every successive lap, you were- Making it worse. But you were also kind of more emphatically telling her that you weren't attracted to her no no i i just think she was probably like all right the guy's not going to say anything to me now you know if he hasn't already so do you think she's waiting for you

uh that's a good question i don't know i was trying to think of what she was thinking as well but i that's very optimistic yeah i don't know i was was trying to think of what she was thinking as well. That's very optimistic. Yeah, I don't know. I was just thinking like, hey, you know, if I was a random stranger was walking around the park and every time they pass me, they'd look at me and I smiled. You know. Did you look at her and smile every time you passed her? Not every time, but the seventh and eighth time I definitely did. No, no, not every time. Yes, you did.

No, a couple of times I kind of mean mugged her to be like yo oh so you gave her like the full range of your person yeah yeah i don't know i mean it was just definitely a weird situation and then like it's fun to picture i was alone and i was like i'm gonna call jt because he's you know sometimes he has good advice not always but sometimes so i called him and then uh he was just like, that sounds great. And I was like, well, I'm an idiot. You know, I should have just done it earlier. I think you should have approached her as if, think of how you approach a friend or

like someone you just wanted to talk to in the park, not someone you were interested in boning. Yeah. So what would you say to her if that were the case? I'll just be like, nice to meet you. My name is Jake. is jake you know how are you yeah your voice sounded very genuine there i like the sound of it you know like are you having a good day your dog what type of dog you got yeah that sounds weird coming with that friendly sweet energy i think it's gonna go well seriously yeah yeah and the dog is a great reference point too you start with the dog and you know what i, too. Start with the dog.

And you know what? I think if she's not into it and you're still very nice, that's going to be a good memory for both of you. And she's going to have a little more faith in men in general because you took it in stride. So all those things, it's just an opportunity to make the world better, bro. Yeah. And the only thing that i like thought afterwards was like why can i approach anybody about like business or like like chad said friendship but then instantly

when i like you know start thinking about love i just automatically like turn away i mean i don't know you know yeah because it's weird rejection's scary yeah romantic rejection is scary uh but i think you just gotta you gotta you know you're good at putting yourself out there you just gotta i think you just gotta practice and and apply that to romantic stuff you know and just be like if this was uh if this was uh you know this was if this was anyone else and i wanted to say hi what would i do maybe just approach it that way yeah and it's like dude like it's like the first time we did this our podcast podcast live, there was a couple of hiccups. But now everything runs smooth. Yeah, so I just need experience with the person.

Just some reps, baby. You're a smart guy. You pick up on stuff. I think, too, part of the thing is with people I don't know, I'm often very shy and I won't speak to. But then once I get to know people i'd like talk too much so uh i need to like use that skill of like my social skills of talking to people and kind of use it as like an approach like chad was saying i think that's and also also uh if you do say hi to her regardless of how it goes you'll be so pumped

that you said hi. Yeah. That's what I was thinking, too. Like, how would I feel afterwards, no matter what? Like, either way, I'm going to be pumped. But then I, like, you know us as, like, creative people. I, like, played this movie scene in my head where I was, like, running down the sidewalk with my phone. Like, I got the number. And then she just sees me like, what the fuck? I was like, yeah, I don't know. know i'm just that could be cute too look man you live cute everything gonna turn out cute yeah i'm sure

the right one will come along eventually i just wonder what your advice would be so next time i go to the park you know can i do i keep circling or do i just like you say hi i think we're done with the circling yeah not because it wasn't fire but it's just like it's time for the next move yeah that's awesome yeah you guys want to take a call you could be like uh you'd be like what lap you on yeah that's the thing i'd like i i that's also part of the reason why i called jt i was like maybe he'd kind of have like a funny first one-liner and then i could take it from there but uh yeah i don't know it was also good advice from you just being like that's great because then it kind of gave me the confidence but here's the kicker chad i didn't tell you this once i finally

got enough you know courage and i made it up in my head that no matter what i was going to say something to her she was gone yeah so yeah all right let's let's take another call uh so darth ass says or you can read the chat but he says this ain't nascar yeah so true that's the other thing i didn't i've walked like an extra three and a half miles oh i didn't know that's what he meant my legs were like really uh you know you gotta get a good workout yeah yeah but it was more than i should have done just because I wanted to see this chick. You know? Sure.

You know, I haven't done this in forever. Can I give a shout out to UCI Baseball and Danny Babona? They're having a hell of a season. Oh, yeah? The guy's coaching the hell out of them. The pitching staff looks phenomenal. I mean, he's been dialed for years. He just knows exactly how to bring out the best in a young buckaroo who can chuck it. So if you're a baseball player out there

and you're thinking about where to take it next level when you're going D1, you gotta go to UCI. They should call it UC Newport Beach because it's right there. Danny Babona. It's not a hell of a name. Babona. Babona.

Have you seen him lately? It's been a while. I think I saw him like two days ago. Really? Yeah, I miss him like crazy two days ago yeah that's not a while it feels like forever damn i normally see him like every every couple hours for real yeah and he's busy and i'm you know kind of busy we both have two kids and jobs and stuff but you know when it's when it's important you do it yeah i hear you i see you more do you

hello hey sorry jt and i are in a tiff right now we'll pick it up after the call my dog what up dude also shout out Babona let's go ripping some helix beer bongs nice dude are you applying the Douglas lube

what did you say are you applying the Douglas Lube? I mean, I wasn't personally a fan Not gonna lie, Chad But, dude, this is awesome You're not a fan of Douglas Lube? Yes, for sure But

We gotta circle back on the Lube-y later Yeah, you're not a fan of Douglas Lube? Little irritant, let's leave it that anyways so recently recently i broke up with a girl all right she was a mega babe all right let's stop right there you sound devastated. I mean, it was tough, but you know, we all got to process things. Isn't that right, GT?

Yeah, I'm just busting your chops. Sorry. So the real bummer is, hear me out, this is the real kicker, she's going on a deployment overseas. Bros. She's a troop of our niche whoa damn i told her i was thinking about what am i gonna do just be be came in my dodo bird all all fucking year i'm not doing that

so that is that why you broke up with her because she's getting deported deported she she works for our country not against it oh oh whoa um oh she's a oh she's a troop bro she's a troop of our nation whoa oh so you broke up with her because she's going overseas yes bro well it was part of reason. There was a lot of things adding up. What were the other reasons? You know, a little bit here, a little bit there. It just, you know. She was a mega babe,

but with the babeness comes a little craziness. Okay, so she was, can you tell us, like, what happened? I mean, she was just always, didn't let me be my own person you know that type of stuff you know and uh yeah so did i make a bad call by breaking up with her before she leaves for a year to go overseas you sound happy i mean i'm happy to be on the pod oh fire dude oh my dog when did you guys break up uh three weeks ago have you slept with anyone since no dog that's fucked up oh i'm surprised Oh, I'm surprised.

Yeah. What do you mean? I don't know. I'm sorry. So, have you, so do you really like her? I mean, I broke up with her. So, you want confirmation that you made the right call? Yeah, probably, because it's a bad person thing.

Well, if you don't want to be with her and she's getting deported, then you know. Did she take it okay? Is she okay? My dog, I don't know. Turns out it's not my problem though, right?

He vacillates so quickly between like, uh, attitudes. I don't know how to take that. Um, so, I mean, it sounds like you're happy and if you uh if you were to stay with her for a year while she's on deployment uh but you didn't really want to be with her and you didn't feel like you could be yourself with her then

you know that would prevent her from you know potentially my dog funny yeah potentially finding a nice troop who can you know who can uh don't tell me that oh dude i don't want to imagine that no dude 100 we don't think she's getting railed in the barracks by any other gis 100 confident that that's not going down are you just talking about a bunch of fit patriotic 18 to 25 year olds oh totally separated from friends and family they're not going to be focused on getting ass they're gonna be focused on the military conflict at hand oh dude bro seriously i don't think i don't think that's not going down i don't think there's some handsome corn-fed dude named spencer who cares about god family and you know country who you know

might form a connect oh i don't think that's happening by the way he's got a hammer, too. Oh. Yeah, bro. I mean, dude, with that kind of cardio, he's probably pumping, I don't know, multiple loads. But that's the kind of thing that's not happening. But brother, can I run a hypothesis on you? Let me hear it. Let me hear it let me hear it did any part of you

think it was the more noble thing to continue the relationship play dear John with the letters but then just be hitting the strip club

on the weekends oh pardon me hey no it would be a lie if I said I didn't think about it yeah dude let me brother man you are too honest for your own good dude

this guy's a slippery slayer dude let me let me ask you something, brother. Let me hear it. So you, you broke up with her. Right. When are you going to entertain the thought of looping around a girl eight times before saying what up? Oh, dude, don't diss my boy Jake. That wasn't a diss what do you want me to answer about it how long before you think you're going to re-engage with other females oh uh i don't know maybe maybe a couple months month or two there's something not jiving here yeah jake was that that didn't sound like a diss did it no okay no not at all okay he just

the eight laps thing yeah no it's just what happened yeah it was almost cool you were like turning his approach into like everybody's approach became like a euphemism okay okay cool i wouldn't let this chick you would never if you would i'd send it right back at you oh but dude back to you where were we at with you he was like saying like he was like heartbroken for the next month but he sounds happier than anyone i've ever talked to. When he talked, dude, it sounds like he just got home from Disneyland.

That's the thing, dude. My guy talking to you is like going to Disneyland. Would you say if you weren't talking... That's sick. What did he say? If you weren't... What did he say?

If you weren't talking to did he say? Sorry. If you weren't talking to us, would you sound really sad? Nah. I'd just be normal. I'd be happy. I always sound happy. Dude, I mean...

Why would I put that on other people, man? Well, it sounds like you made the right call then. My God. i think so i made the right call let me ask you something it's the thing that's that's got you hung up is the fact that she's a mega babe yeah and i hear you and then just just so people are sympathetic to your side not that i'm worried about it but and i'm not but on a scale of one to ten on it no yeah on a scale of one to ten how crazy would she get oh wait because i think there's something real here because i think you know a super i'm the crazy one no dude i think a super crazy person would be very into someone who is happy all the time because then even when they act crazy you're not going to say that's not okay. You're going to be happy. Yeah.

Oh, dude, I heard this exact thing from her. Whoa. She called me her calm boyfriend. Oh. So yeah, your happiness is kind of a prison for you. And she was like, she had you a little bit because she could go nutty. And then the next day she'd be like, I'm so sorry. And like crying.

He'd be like, dude, it's all good. Let's go to the arcade. Yeah, dude. Holy shit, Jason. Dude. Dude. Here's the thing. You're a good dude.

We can hear it. It took a while. We can feel it. It took a while. We can feel it. Yes, I believe it now. And the amount of times you say all cuts me right to my core. I love it. All.

All. Yeah, he said that a couple times. I almost want to have an all off with you. All. All. All. Come on. Dude, we can do it in person this Friday.

What? I mean, you're going to be in D.C. I just kind of work to you, though, dude. Brother, I will be there. Oh, oh. Oh. Dude, so here's the thing. Oh, I think you're. i think you're a good dude and uh i think you

made the right decision and it's good that you feel bad but i think you need to get back out there what's up no keep going you get back out there and get your beak wet bro this guy is so fucking happy dude this is the best possible solution he broke up with her and she has to go to another country i know and has like no means of communication with anyone he's really yeah seeing day to day you're stoked dude what country is she going to going to uh africa i don't know why i'm laughing well because they either sounded made up or like this guy has no idea what's on a map is this hey bro hey babe before you go to africa or whatever not to bust on

you dude but is that what it sounded like sorry dude dude will you give us an oh i feel bad now yeah that make you feel bad oh oh did that make it sorry dude oh no i feel good bros are you are you in the military i am dude whoa you are yeah bro what do you do what's your's your MOS? Yeah, what's your MOS, dude? I'm a cyber guy. Oh, nice, dude. That's so cool. Oh, so you're a very bright person, huh?

Something like that. Oh, okay. And you're playing slick, and you're so good at it. Dude, you sound like a real catch. Oh, JTt my dog bro how worried should we be about like a china russia incursion via the digital side i can't i can't be saying all this oh oh did he almost stepped in it classified style bro yeah when it comes to when it comes to cyber warfare with other countries just all yeah he switched up real fast hello sergeant dude let's say he's at his computer and there's a huge cyber

attack from china he's looking at his computer he's like oh hey boss man i shouldn't i kind of spilled the beans about all of our inner workings yesterday on the pod i hope that's not too much trouble for everybody um all right that's giving so are you offense or defense offense dude whoa legit um and so are you like messing up energy grids are you like procuring files oh dude i can't say um okay are you um yeah are you busting up hardware are you just capturing some software uh i mean i'm busting up the hardware if you know what i mean but we just capturing some software oh are you at the pentagon right now oh dude you don't even want to know where i am right now all right dude cooler general mcmaster or mathis all right dude cooler general mcmaster or mathis oh

i don't even know dude it's a tough one petraeus or powell oh how oh this is like not your sitch but when betrayers effed up by having that hottie runner journalist get intimate with him outside his marriage thereby compromising him were you guys uh no comment all right dude we're gonna let you go it's one of my favorite calls dude you're the man you're the man dude uh we we gotta have you check in with us more so any whenever you have a new status update call us back word and we'll see you Word. And we'll see you on Friday. Yeah, we'll see you Friday. Yeah, dude, I'll see you Friday. Legend.

Because we're going to be in D.C. Yeah. That guy's the man. Yeah, he contained surprises. Yeah. Should we leave it with that? Yeah, that was really fun. How long have we leave it with that? Yeah, that was really fun.

How long have we been going, Jake? An hour 33. That feels about perfect. Yeah. If you guys were on the list for calls this week, we'll get you next week. I'll send you another text, ask if you're available, and we'll get you on the show next send you another text ask if you're available and we'll

get you on the show next time we record swing love you guys yes i don't even be on my phone hey i love you guys thanks to the twitch the squad guys um if you're listening to a recording of the pod hop on the twitch the twitch is so fun it's so fun it really is it's nice to interact yeah you guys are the best man that was so fun man all right they man if you need advice these guys are really nice