Going Deep with Chad and JT - EP 341 - Alpha vs Sigma (Classic Solo)

Episode Date: May 8, 2024

#goingdeepwithchadandjt #podcast #comedy #allthingscomedy  Today is another Classic Solo with just the bros! We start of the pod discussing the difference between Alpha vs Sigma personalities. We take a long call from a bro who had a traumatic dooty experience at the Vatican. His friends make him share the story everywhere he goes and he doesn't know how to get past it. We also get an update from Karl, who called a few weeks ago about visiting his GF's family for the first time in BRAZIL.  IF YOU ENJOYED THE POD HIT THAT LIKE AND SUBSCRIBE or LEAVE A COMMENT!  We are streaming the BTS, Fully unedited version of the pod on Twitch, if you want to chat with us while we're recording, follow here: https://www.twitch.tv/chadandjtgodeep Grab some dank merch here:https://shop.chadandjt.com/ Come see us on Tour! Santa Cruz is the NEXT STOP, PLUS 8 other DATES!http://www.chadandjt.com If you need advice and want to chat with us, TEXT us with your issue or question at 323-418-2019 and we will add you to the list! (Start with where you're from and name for best possible advice) Check out the reddit for some dank convo: https://www.reddit.com/r/ChadGoesDeep/

What's up Stokers? Welcome to the podcast. So stoked to have you all here. Guys, we are going to be in Santa Cruz this weekend. So fired up for Santa Cruz. We have never been there before. We want to see you at the show. Dude, are you stoked? I'm pretty excited. Santa Cruz is sick. I've never been. You've never been? You just said we've both never been. Oh, I've been, but we've never been for stand-up.

Oh, no, I've never been, period. Yeah, I used to go all the time you've been been dude i surfed there all the time pleasure point steamer lane those are great names yeah the beach boardwalk dude that sounds amazing yeah it's like the true beach town in northern california i'm excited we are also going to be in ventura uh a week from this saturday the 18th i believe and then we also going to be in Ventura a week from this Saturday, the 18th, I believe. And then we're going to be in Jersey City, Atlantic City. And then we got Philadelphia. We got Boston.

And we got San Diego, June, end of June. Oh, we got Portland, Seattle in between, too. Holy tomatoes. Guys, come see us. Get your tickets at ChadJT.com. Yes, please. Dude, I might move to Ventura. I might move to Camarillo.

That sounds sick. It's beautiful, man. Yeah. That drive up to Slough was beautiful. Yeah. This is fantastic. Let's start the show. Let's go.

Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go.

Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. i think uh i i think i figured out what i want to be oh this would be good i want to be the guy who people are like hey bro are you alpha beta or sigma and then i want to be the guy who's like

what see i think people would say that's Sigma, though. The guy who says what? Right. But you know what? That's real Sigma. Whereas if you say you're Sigma, you can't say you're what? Because you know. You can't declare what you are.

Because that's not Sigma. Because then you know the hierarchy. That's not Alpha either. I think that's very beta to say you're Sigma. Yeah. So I think you want to be yeah you know i realize though most of those most of those alphas on instagram aren't even real they're ai andrew tate doesn't even exist alpha intelligence yeah alpha intelligence yeah energy it's not real no that's wild liver king computer program and who paid for them or did ai create itself as a useful distraction china

china's so smart they They're pretty alpha. They are. I do think it would be cool. Okay, I don't like it. I remember I was working with a guy at a production company. We had to carry a cabinet. And he didn't even try. We tried to pick it up for two seconds.

Then he just put it down. He goes, I'm too beta. No, really? And I was like, I never heard someone talk like that. Yeah. You know? And I was like I never heard someone talk like that yeah you know and I was like I was like what and I was like but just pick it up with me like let's try if we don't get it we don't get it and then he was like no I'm too beta well dude that was like in style it was like like 10 years ago that was very in style and Seth Rogen did make it look cool like when he would

talk like that in a movie like he knocked up he'd be like I'm too beta I'd be like oh that's really funny that's and then that felt kind of alpha in a way yeah but I think I think it as you know the pendulum it's like we went that we went so far where everyone was beta and now everyone's going alpha uh and now everyone needs to be yo I got something on this did you you guys watch the Brady roast last night? No, I need to watch it. Oh, dude, it was incredible. And the humor that everybody just went like, I wouldn't say edgy, but it was like deeper than like most conventional media would, you know, let you say. Like a lot of jokes that were borderline i guess racist or you know different things like that

and it was so cool to see because guys were out there just like throwing darts at a board and like whatever they didn't really care about like being canceled or anything like that right and it was literally the best roast i've ever seen really by far it was pretty exciting really yeah i gotta watch it they made some and and just the cast of people that they got together. Yeah. Because like Belichick and Kraft are kind of beefing. And then Belichick had a rough breakup with Brady. And to have all those people in the same room,

there was like a what's going to happen, like excitement to all of it. Yeah. Well, I saw like Gronk was there too. Edelman, Randy Moss. Bledsoe? like gronk was there too edelman randy moss yeah blood so blood so was there he was a great sport about everything he did a good couple bits on it yeah uh hinge cliff had some great jokes glazer had great jokes i heard glazer crushed she did yeah nikki and tony were by far like the most superior in my opinion but But the thing that I like at first, I thought Tony was nervous because he was just ripping. He wouldn't even let the crowd laugh.

But then by the end of it, I was like, holy shit. He's just like an AR-15. He's just letting it rip over, over, over, over until they were dead, you know. And then who else? I saw the Jeff Ross thing where Tom Brady said, don't say that shit. Do you think that was real? When I first saw it, I didn't think it was real. But then watching it made me question.

If that is real, that's pretty unbelievable of Brady. Maybe unbelievable is the wrong word. That's pretty quick reaction time from Brady to get up, like to be, well well that's over the line at a roast his roast where he'd probably be nervous and just walk over but hey no more jokes like that yeah did he he must have known before the roast like hey if they go after craft about that stuff i'm gonna say something i think that or so he because he uh watching it this time i was you know how he does the, like, he heard it and he's kind of like, like that? Here's a theory. Go.

They choreographed that, right? He hears the joke and he's like, am I going to do this? Am I going to do this? And then he did it. Because as soon as he did it, tons of headlines about the roast. Like, right when he did it because as soon as he did it tons of headlines about the roast like right when he did and jeff ross was early right yes jeff ross was early i didn't watch the whole thing he does it he does it tons of headlines all over the internet it's like on twitter and stuff gets everyone being like oh shit the roast is on right now

so you think it is scripted? I think it is scripted. I don't know. What do you think, Jake? I think it was just kind of a funny way to make fun of it. Someone had to mention it, right? At the roast? I think so. Yeah.

So then I think you just have someone mention it and then have him be like, no, no, no, let's not talk about that. And then the whole rest of the roast, nobody mentioned it. Second theory. It was scripted but craft didn't know so they were like they went to brady and were like hey we want to do a joke about craft getting the hand job and then brady's like he can't do it it'll bust him up too much and then they're like well what if you tell us after we do it once that we can't do it again and then you look like a hero for defending your

kind of surrogate fathery guy i think that's great it's a good theory yeah i i think that's a good theory too it would be kind of weird to let robert craft know about it that they're going to make massage jokes i guess i think you just kind of went i guess my theory is the exact same as Chad's. I just added a... Yeah, an extra layer. I don't even know if I added a layer. I just described the layer in a different way. B Ford is saying Shiv had the schmole up there. Do you think the schmole would have crushed?

He would have had an impact. He would have said he wanted to suck off Brady at least 10 times. That would have been pretty funny. Brady, I want to suck you off. That was literally half the roast already. Like all the dudes were saying that they suck his dick. And then afterwards, the host, Kevin Hart, would come up and be like, some more white boy humor for you.

Well, that'd be great because the schmoles permit. It was Persian. So he wouldn't be able to say that. Yeah, that's true do you think brady's had too much work done or just the right amount just the right amount i think it looks fantastic he looks incredible yeah he's the best advertisement for changing your head i've ever seen it's a little tight it's tight but it works for him he's not a comedian all he needs to be is a porsche ad that's i stole that from tom cruise the top of maverick they say it's a giant porsche ad i don't do that stealing oh no

okay you creatively repurposed that's art thanks uh but what okay so you're you're kind of an expert in plastic surgery right yes what do you think he had done okay um he's definitely had dermal filler he's had hair transplants dermal filler where um i think he just gets it all over his face okay i think he's had i think he had his masseter actually narrowed i think his jaw used to be fatter. I think he's had some skin treatments, facelift, maybe laser. I think he's had his eyebrows done. I forget what they call that, like a blasfeptomy or something. Oh, and I think he had his buccal fat removed because that's a popular one now.

What's buccal fat? It's like this fat inside your cheeks and a lot of people are getting it taken out right now to get like... Oh, yeah. To get that. You see how he's got kind of the... I mean, he's lost weight too. There's different factors,

but it's odd for him at 50 to look better. I think I need the buccal fat removed. You know, people say long long term it's a bad move because you need that fat when you get older oh pretty's bald or tight and shiny oh so darth ass welcome back i've been getting a lot of heat from my high school homies because i'm saying Jokic is better than Shaq. And I like Shaq. I grew up not liking him because he was mean to me when I was a kid. I don't think this is because of that.

I just think Jokic can create his own shot. He's a better free throw shooter, so you can rely on him in the clutch. And then he's the best passing big man man maybe one of the top 10 passers period we've ever seen and then shaq also had some um work ethic issues which is an unfortunate thing to bring up but you know it's part of the narrative now chad you don't watch sports who do you think is better i just like shaq more i don't really know who yokich is though let's be honest that's him yes now granted he does not look like he may be a better player but shack is the total package

he's more charismatic. Jokic is funny. Is he funny? And if English was his first language, who knows? Maybe he'd have his hoot and holler in the way Shaq does. But I agree with you. Shaq is a better on-screen performer. Non-basketball related.

Look at Shaq over his career, shooting 46% from the free throw line. Missed 21 free throws in a finals game one time people like could you do that i could miss 21 free throws in a finals game my last thing i could totally do that jc parr blows it on seven. I think they ended up still winning the game. He had like 40 attempts. It was something crazy where they just could, it was the only way they could even try to slow him down. Phil Jackson was asked Jordan or Kobe,

and he said Shaq. What do you think about that? That's a popular thing that Strider always references. I think if you ask Phil Jackson that today, that Strider always references. I disagree. I think if you ask Phil Jackson that today, he would say Jordan and then Kobe and then Phil or, or then Shaq. I also think if you gave Jokic a prime D weight or a prime Kobe, he'd have,

he doesn't have a number two like that so this comparison thing who's winning in the comparison it looks like shaq is winning by a little bit i remember shaq's free throws back were you just talking about that yes sorry no Sorry. No, go. No, I just remember him as free throws just being horrific, and it was hilarious. They were bad. Yeah, he invented a whole term, hack-a-shack, where they would just foul him at the end of the game

because he couldn't make free throws. I'm probably being too hard on him. Well, I think he's the second best big man, although I really like Hakeem, too, who kind of ate him up in the like 95 finals should we call somebody yeah hello

hello what's up dude yo what's going on what up dude just hanging brother chillin we're chillin dude

what are you doing dude chillin in my basement just wrapped up some Fortnite. It's Monday night. Does Fortnite... Have they done huge updates? Is it back?

It's back. Some people say it's not, but in my opinion, I think it's back. It looks fun as hell. Yeah. Loving it, dude. Me and the fellas get on all the time now. Is it complicated, like all the building and stuff? It seems like there's a lot of moves, or is it simpler than it looks?

No builds. A bunch of nerds are on the builds, in my opinion. That's where you run into some trouble. Right, so you're just going around killing people. Yeah, dude. Once you start building shit, it gets too complicated. You don't want to i mean once you start building shit it gets too complicated you don't want to mess with that awesome uh well what ails you friend no i just got a quick story for you guys and i uh followed by a request for some advice that sound all right? Yeah. Perf. All right. So me and the fellas, right, we just landed in Italy.

School trip a little while back. First night out, went out super hard. We all got pretty smoked. You know, the next day we had a tour set up to go to the Vatican. You know, see the Pope, all that good stuff. We just saw the Pope, you know, he's riding around in that sick little golf cart looking thing. You know what I mean? But towards the end of the tour,

we're just kind of chilling, waiting to hear our next move and kind of felt something stirring in my tummy. Didn't think much of, you know, you're, you know what I mean? I really didn't think much of it at the time so i i kind of gambled on it gambled on the fart and blasted my pants and i had on these like super sick salmon colored shorts my mom got me from you know vineyard vines back in the day and like right away i turned to my buddy i'm like dude you got to give this a quick look. And I knew right away he let out a crazy war cry of laughter, basically just letting everybody around us know that I just torched my pants. You know, next thing I know, there's like a crowd of like 15 people around me

looking at the mess I just made. And even the priest that was with us, he gave it a look and a giggle. So that one kind of hurt. But really didn't want the chaperone of the tour to know what I just did. I was like, all right, I'll just carry on and move along. And our next stop was the Sistine Chapel. And I did like an hour-long tour there and was able to escape and you know finally buy new pants but i will say i got some pretty sick friends because they shielded me with their informational package

they're carrying around for an hour or whatever so shout out the balboni boys on that but so since this happened this story is you know somewhat become a household thing. People are always asking me to tell the story to new people who I just met. Could I decline these requests, or should I just own up to it? How do I navigate these waters? It's tough, dude.

So just to recap, you crapped your pants at the Vatican, and everyone found out even the pope and not the pope the priest the priest that was on the tour with us oh okay and now it's become legend in your town yeah oh dude everybody knows and everyone's asking you to give them the story yeah i mean my mom like she even told her her co-workers and they were over here swimming the one day and the one guy came out to me he's

like dude what happened in italy and i had to tell him you know i didn't want to but i was on the spot so what do you think should i like give you know give this story or do i keep it to myself i have like a four-part response one your mom has male co-workers you come over to swim no it was like a teacher it's like a teacher party thing you know i don't know like end of the year thing so yeah i guess that no that checks out sorry um i've seen too much porn and then how do how do you do you feel good about shitting yourself no dude i don't but you know i i do think it's a good story and like it makes people laugh you know what i mean i like that can make people laugh so that's a plus but when it's around the chicks you know yeah it's kind of tough you

don't want these chicks no you know i just have to get his pants in the vatican so that's when it gets sketchy i think people are going to disagree with me here but i think there's a scene i love in the movie for love of the game where uh kevin costner's character billy chapel is like mentoring a younger dude on the team. Because the dude went up for a fly ball in the outfield. And the ball bounced off his head into a home run. So he had like a total blooper. And the guy's down on himself.

And he's like, all the media guys are here. They probably want me to like make a joke about it and like laugh. And then Costner goes, hey, man man you can go out there and you can do the song and dance and you can do a big ha ha ha or you can go out there with your head held high not say a thing and next time we come here we'll take down the monster together and he goes don't ever let him make a joke out of you that kind of pumped me up yeah and i think it's it's it's it is cool it's like a funny story and you should tell it a million times but i don't think you should ever in your heart let yourself feel

defined by it if you feel like you don't want to tell it you're not being a bad time by being like hey man that's not me today yeah yeah because you know some days you're cool with it you're like yeah i'll let it rip i'll let it rip and then other times you're like i kind of want to keep this one to myself so yeah i think that i think that's good advice i think that's fantastic and i i just uh another question do you think that you're yeah do you fear retribution from the lord in a way yeah i mean i'm a catholic man you know what i mean and right if you soil your pants and like a holy piece of land like that that's that's sketchy that's that's sketchy so i mean i've prayed i've talked to i've talked to him about it but have you gone to make another trip

you might want to go confess i might have to i might have to i might have to add that to the list this sunday shit um but yeah i think i think definitely what jt said you know if you're not feeling it you're not feeling it but also uh this makes you relatable you know sometimes you don't want to talk about the fact that you do do um i'll tell you that when my girlfriend and i started opening up being more open about duty um we felt closer because we became more closer to each other as human beings so if you're if you're able to be that guy it was like yeah i do crap my pants you know everyone does yeah everyone does and they're able to laugh that guy it was like yeah i do crap my pants you know everyone does yeah

everyone does and they're able to laugh at it then they're like man i love that what's your name you don't have to say your name if you don't want i can make it smokes man that guy smokes he's the man dude he shits his pants yeah dude that guy smokes he shits his pants bro he's he's the man he'll do it anywhere he'll do it at the vatican he'll do it at the coliseum dude i like i really like those shorts too they're pretty sick they're like salmon colored like nice color but salmon color is the best awesome were they ruined dude smoked i had to go to this little like european boutique and find these little capris don't you call them capris or whatever i

don't know you got the poop in your pants uh-huh you got the poop in your pants and the lady at the boutique the lady at the boutique's like i put the capris on you know to like wear them out because i wasn't gonna wear like the crap filled pants out uh-huh she saw me like let me take those i'll put those in a bag for you i'm like you don't want to touch these ladies yeah you know so i wore them out and the day was fine but i missed those uh you're getting a ton of support in the chat right now siddhartha says he'll shit your pants for you just let just let him know when oh hell yeah this guy here though

who's like there's the biggest legend of pooping pants and that is george brett he goes on an absolute rant about it he's a pro baseball coach and he's proud of it it's on youtube you can you can find his whole rant on it to his players that's a bad example because that is a really hilarious story that george brett did george George Brett doesn't know he's being filmed in the video. And secondly, I think he thought he was having a private conversation with his players. Secondly, George Brett tells that story beautifully. It's hilarious.

I watch that video all the time. I think if this guy went up to George Brett and was like, George Brett, tell me this shit story and spare me no details. I don't think George Brett's going to be like, oh, yeah, pal. You mean the double taper shit I took in 87? Spare me no details. It'll really get in there. Is this George Brett?

I'll put that up. It's really funny. Your shit story's a classic man uh you know crapping at the vatican that's huge i also like that you use the word smoke so much when you talk and your nickname is smokes well that's part of it you know so it's no accident that's how you get nicknamed okay so then here's this. Maybe the way to having this, because people are going to keep asking you to tell this shit at the Vatican story.

It's just that juicy. Do you have a better story or could you make a better story that replaces that one? I mean, nothing like that i mean it's so far gone now man that it's just it's it's out there i don't know how you could top something like that when this many people know about it already you know like it's one of those things there's a lot a lot of moving pieces a lot of people involved i had like 10 dudes like my boy is walking behind me covering my ass up so no one else it's gonna be it's gonna be

tough to top yeah but i but i would not give up i would try really hard to top it yeah i mean i'll give it my best but you... You don't feel like you can. Yeah. This is a little bit of a go-to, and it's still there, dude. It's still... Do you ever hear other people tell their shit-in-the-pants story and kind of like... I'll be honest with you.

Like, look down on them? Yeah, that's one of the few times I'm cool opening up about it. You know, I love... I'm not, that's one of the, yeah, that's, like, one of the few times I'm cool, like, opening up about it. You know, I love, I'm not the guy to, like, one-up everybody, but I feel like that's an appropriate place to one-up somebody. Make someone feel better about shitting their pants, you know? It's like, oh, dude, I shit my pants at the bar. I'm like, dude, don't worry about it. I shit my pants at the Vatican in front of a million people, you know? So it's really not a big deal you don't worry about it i shit my pants at the vatican in front of a million people you know so it's really not a big deal don't worry about it

but the sense of comfort for some people but yeah i i do that do you worry about your you know pants crapping legend dying down and then feeling like you have to one-up it and then recrap recraprap. Re-crap. Or, you know, some people in the chat are saying you could bust a load at the Sistine Chapel. Oh. That's a scary thought. Because, you know, I like the story. I don't like the story.

I would hate to see it die. It's simple as that. I would hate to see it die. Wow. simple as that. I would hate to see it die. Wow. Well, I think you answered your own question then. I mean, I think Little Richard didn't want to be Little Richard every night, but that's the job.

Yeah. That's why I called in. I needed some advice, man. This is great. Really looking internally right now can I tell you something you seem like by the tone of your voice and this whole story and everything

you seem like a really fun guy totally how old are you smokes 24 nice for some reason I thought he was going to say like 13 laughing laughing just from like a part of the world when you sound older is the rest of your life uh poopy or is it good

so that's another thing that kind of goes into this story too is anytime i have a tummy ache in public it's on my mind you know i'm like don't do that don't squeak that one out don't gamble on this one because if you gamble on a fart one time a public spot like that you lose that bet you don't forget that you know you don't you don't forget now i now i go back to another movie but this time it's goodwill hunting where uh robin williams is afraid to get back out there and live his life and he's giving advice to to will hunting to do that to go out there and he's like he said what are you talking about dude just waiting here not seeing anybody he goes he goes i ended up i played a hand he goes you did play a hand and you fucking lost. You lost big. But other people lose and they got the sack to ante up again.

So I would say to you, you got to have the sack to fart again, bro, because you can't live your life in fear that you're going to crap your pants every time you're out in public and you had a bit too much soda pop. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Just pump me up too. Yeah, man. I want to see.

Yeah, come on. I'm always going to, you know, I'm a gambling man. You know, every man has their limits. And when it comes to putting others at risk in public, it gets a little scary. It gets a little scary. I don't want to ruin the day for anyone else but hey you gotta keep moving on right

dude crap those pants man but don't force it no never don't be like don't you know don't be like crapping your pants every day.

No. But, you know... I will say, I mean, I had relapses. It just happened. But, you know, next time you go to Fenway Park, you know, just... The Cathedral of Boston. The Cathedral of Boston. Crap your pants.

Yeah. Might just. What? I thought you might. You never know, right? Yeah. Just don't fake it like shilling. No.

You can't fake that. That'd be crazy crazy where are you from ohio what part undisclosed yeah sorry tell us specifically uh dude do you guys cedar points that place will make you shit your pants oh yeah i've i've heard a couple of there's some there's some horror stories of guys losing it on a roller coaster too so that place is cedar points sick though it's open up that new dragster dragster top two oh dude

so tight yeah jake jake got pretty uh muffed up on raptor yeah yeah the raptor yeah the one where your feet hang out below you and it swings you left and right all i had in my stomach was like a coffee from the morning and uh i looked over at chad and i was like my cheeks were full and i was like we gotta get off this ride immediately yeah it was awesome yeah the raptor's badass tip yeah smokes what about a nickname like the crapping captain of cleveland but that's when it gets sketchy i don't like that right yeah you don't want to see that's the thing you want the notoriety but you don't want the responsibility yeah like a mysterious shitter you know what i mean but you don't want to you don't want to walk in a room and everyone's like that shitter yeah yeah you

that's scary yeah because do you have a girlfriend no but like at the time I did, and the story somehow circulated back, and I was confronted. I said, girlfriend. I was like, I'm pretty sure I lied at first. I'm like, I don't know what you're talking about. But then, you know, it just hit the news, dude. It hit the news. Wait, how did she say it? Did she say did she say hey smoke did you crap your pants in

italy she's like pants over there you know and i knew what she was hinting at you know and oh i kind of picture her hysterical like smokes tell me the truth did you shit yourself at the vatican you're like babe no babe who told you that then you the Vatican? You're like, babe, no. Babe, who told you that? Then you're like calling your friend. You're like, Jeremy, I told you to keep your fucking mouth shut, man. Who said that? Who told her? Which one of you fucking bitches told her, dude?

Who told my beautiful Victoria about my dump? Yeah, that was kind of an awkward one, but, you know. But she was able to forgive to move past, to feel connected still. I felt closer to her after, I think. I mean, you have something embarrassing like that happen and you're still accepted and loved, then, you know, it worked out. And what are you doing for Fesh? In tech. I'm in tech.

Sales? Yeah. I can see you being good at that. Swing it. What do you think is the key to being good at sales? I don't know. I'm still so young at it. I'm i'm only 24 i've only been doing it for like three years but i think it's impersonal and being able to relate you know what i mean being able to have dialogue to set dialogue right away so that's always big but i don't know man

it's tough you just gotta but you hear a lot of no's you got to be able to find the yeses and run with them so have you ever told a prospective customer the shit story i told my boss though he fucking loved it dude he was he was cracking up the cool dude you, he gets it. Do they call you the Cleveland Steamer in the office? Yeah, here and there. Depends who's around. Oh, man, well, it was great talking to you. I kind of want to talk to him for the full hour.

Has anyone done that? He's pretty awesome. Just one guy the whole way through he's a good dude have you taken a crap have you taken a crap today yeah for sure i mean earlier but nothing memorable do you feel like you have to crap your pants right now Do you feel like you have to crap your pants right now? Not yet Not right here, not right now Would you be willing to do it for the Stokers? Oh yeah I love the Stokers but I just could not do that

You wouldn't crap on a podcast live That would probably One up the VAT story If you poop live on air With this That would blow up bigger than the cat williams club that could be our club and then uh me and chad would have a lot of explaining to do with our girlfriends come on man just do it oh my yeah smoke some cleveland shits on the pod

my girlfriend's cool but she might be like why'd you pressure that kid into shitting on the pod it's my job babe it's my job all right if you like it i'll listen dude can you imagine we're all just on the pod listening and you hear this he's like i did it send us a photo i've got a question for you fellas have any of you fellas shit your pants not the vatican specifically I mean, I can't be the only one here. Dude, I got a good one. I got a good one. You have a really good one.

I was in a spelling bee. Oh, I don't know this one. I thought it was the brother one. Oh, yeah, that one too. You've got a couple of classics. Yeah, I was in a spelling bee in fifth grade, sixth grade. And I was up there and i was nervous and i think i got the word like mountain or something i was a good speller easy i let out a little fart duty comes out like liquid duty i'm wearing shorts runs down my leg

i finished the word you crushed the word and crushed the word what was the word do you remember the word just kill me you said duty the way you said duty sounded like you're on the news duty runs down if they don't if they don't respect our perimeter the protesters will uh yeah that one stuck with you right i'll just forget that yeah what i mean but you know i was like it's one of those pivotal moments you know it's like are you gonna finish the word are you gonna let the shame make you lose and i'd finish the word you had to dig deep yeah you know yeah but more precise i had to let loose yeah yeah that is true i mean that's like that takes some internal you know you got to look at

yourself in a moment like that and you make you know you've got two choices you shame your parents on stage or you shit and finish the word right i mean come on i think you made the right call yeah i mean because you don't want to be a guy who craps his pants and doesn't believe in himself yeah yeah that'd just be weird you don't want to be the opposite of smokes i. I took a big shit one time in public. You did? Yeah. I'm not going to tell the whole one, but if you go back, Smokes,

and you listen to our fantasy draft, or our podcast draft about video games, about the one hour mark, I talk about crapping a nickel nickel. It's a classic. I have one more for you guys. It's now just coming back to me if you have time for one more. Is it a story of you doing something?

Yeah, shitting, dude. Yeah, go, baby. Yeah, don't let us stop you. I was in like third grade, I think it was. You know, everyone's got these stories in their little butt. In like the third grade, I just met like a fourth grader just down the road like right around the corner from my house yeah and i thought it was like the coolest thing ever you know you meet you you know when you first start hanging out like older kids you're like oh dude this is so cool like it's the best you know you're trying to impress them do all that whatever so the one day

like my family and i rode our bikes from one one end of the neighborhood to the other other end of the neighborhood and on the ride back like mom like i really gotta shit like i didn't say that but you know i really gotta go to the bathroom really gotta go to the bathroom um passing by this kid's house that i just became friends with and you know nature called right there in front of his house on the sidewalk. And it was just, like, in the middle of the sidewalk. So fast forward the next day, I'm walking to school, and I'd, like, pick him up on the way to school

because we, like, walked to school together. You know what I mean? And he's like, oh, dude, like, someone's dog shit in the middle of the sidewalk. I was like, yeah yeah it's so fucking gross like that's ew that's nasty you know it was me it was me i was i was said dog well you know i gotta be honest man not your best work oh dude that one that one hurt too but i mean i got over that pretty quick you know

smokes we're gonna have to let you go man because you just you let me down with that one next time you tell a shit story it's gotta it's gotta be up to a certain standard i was kind of i was kind of rushing too i just didn't know how much time i was allotted but yeah yeah you didn't paste that one as well. What happened? I wasn't prepared either. That's true. Yeah, you're riffing that time. We'll work it out. Well,

Smokes, I think you have a very promising career as a shitting connoisseur. So, I think stay at it and maybe next time you crap your pants at the pyramids i'll call in let you guys know be epic first dudes i'll call

love you smokes I was yelling. Love you, smokes. Now, I don't want to play pop psychologist, but do you think he's addicted to shitting or he's addicted to talking about shitting? Talking about. But he's got a grip on the first part. The guy can't shit his pants like no other. He's a beast. Smokey smoke.

Who do we have next, Jake? Yo. Yo. Dude. What up? What up, brethren? Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Is this Chad and JT?

Yes, sir. Yeah, buddy. Dude, let's go, dude. Let's freaking go, dude. Holy shit. Dude, first first off stoked to have you on the pod second you got a lot to live up to right now uh we just had the most epic pants crapper on and we went for 30 dude i know i was listening you're listening i don't want to yeah dude but sorry so tell us your trauma all right dude so i got a pic like i was

thinking for a while about one thing that i had an issue with i actually emailed in like two years ago is this roommate situation and uh it's less of a bummer but the kid is literally right outside of my car right now so it would kind of be an interesting situation to be shitting on him uh with him right outside but he doesn't listen to the pod so but the other one's about my mom and i don't really want to shit on my mom but she's been kind of pissing me off lately so i love my mom but you know well in triage style which one feels more vital to you now roommate being outside the car as if he wasn't uh dude i feel like i have to go with the one about him because i just said he's outside and i feel like i'm into that trickery you know trickery porn like i'm really into that kind of

like that like vibe of like taboo and stuff like that i think i have to i have to go into this now dude yeah yeah it sounds like kind of cuck style too i like this yeah i love it too dude my favorite just trying to bust while you're telling this story um all right so basically like two years ago in high school, me and this kid were beefing, and he was my boy. It was, like, Anakin Obi-Wan style. Like, we were tight. And then he just dropped me as a friend, and it really hurt me. And, like, for a whole year, we weren't boys anymore. we weren't boys anymore and then we got to uh Syracuse and all of a sudden um wait I just doxxed myself god damn it dude um sorry uh and we get here we can cut it from the uh

the proper pod no it's cool or we can leave it it's okay we can leave it he he's not a listener he wishes he was a listener. Sorry. I've got to get to the chase. I don't want to hold you guys. Anyways, he requests, like, not requests. He asked me to be his roommate, like, acting like everything's all peaches and cream, sunshine and rainbows. And me being the servile loser I am, I was just like, oh, yeah, like, for sure, like, let's be roommates.

Like, I didn't really get into like the whole thing and i probably could but i mean he just dropped me as a friend it really hurt me like i'm still hurt about it now and he's literally right outside the car we never talked about it and it like it really hurts me dude so by the way my voice is not breaking because i'm crying i'm just pretty nervous so yeah you sound fine so all right is he outside why is he outside of your car right now so he actually just went inside but we were we just went to the smoke shop i'm not trying to flex but we got a little chigar a little cigar and we're gonna we're gonna rip that later i'm on the east coast so pretty late um so we're tight

like that but we're also not tight like that like sometimes he says stuff and i'm like dude you're a bitch man you dropped me for nothing what does he say uh he he just sometimes he's generally just unfunny he'll just say like stupid like tiktok humor and stuff like that and i'm just like i'm over it but next year i don't have to live with him anymore so uh i don't know if this is really a question more than me just getting out you're venting like that i don't really fuck with this kid you know well so yeah do you do you care about him dude i actually love this kid so it really hurts me it's like a dagger in my heart dude it's

poisoning me dude i don't know what to do. Because you still have this core wound from when he bailed on you. Exactly. I'm waiting for him to talk about it, but he won't talk about it. I'm not going to, Kate. Sorry. I'll let you go. My bad.

That's interesting, too. So when he talked about it, you said you guys were Anakin and Obi-Wan. Which one were you? Oh, I definitely, well, dude, he's non-confrontational so am i but like in my mind i'm anakin because i'm going i hate you i hate you i'm like uh on the floating rock i'm gonna flip on him and probably get cut in half if i try and tell him dude you're an asshole because he's so passive he's so so passive, he'll probably be like, word, like, I didn't even realize.

I'm just too cool, you know? That's his vibe. But he's not even that cool, you know? Why don't you just tell him? Dude, that's my thing, dude. It's just like, I can't. Like, behind the scenes, I'm Mr. Trickery. I'm Jaying off to just the most diabolical, within reason, within reason, by the the way the most diabolical stuff but when we get out in the field you know with girls

i'm you know i'm with this girl right now i'm just real shy and like it's stuff like that and i'd like this is all beside the point but it just points towards a bigger fact that like i just can't like tell people how i feel really without like, just, I can't pour my heart out. I don't know. Well, then you can't expect people to show up for you in the way you need them to, if they don't know how they need to. That's fair.

That's a good criticism. So why, why are you afraid to tell them how you feel? Um, maybe because we won't be friends anymore but i don't see how we wouldn't be friends anymore he'd probably be like damn i'm sorry i hurt you because we're from california you probably would be pretty chill about it well and if if you did say that to him if you said hey man you really hurt my feelings when you ditched me and then he's and then he did what you're afraid of and ditched you again i think you'd be better off if he's that kind of person where he can't handle you telling him the truth about you know a deep a deep injury you have in y'all's relationship yeah that thing is dude i just like i i love this kid like a brother man so it's like this weird like love hate dude you know that's yeah and i and also i want to say

i i think if you did talk to him about it he would actually be really nice about it i i think it'd be pretty surprising if he was yeah at the end of the school year too so i might as well just let it fly you know yeah i think someone in the chat said it'll make you guys stronger yeah and also uh it sounds like you think he'll be chill about it you you don't want it him to be chill about it you want him to acknowledge how he hurt you like like it's the same thing with girls like i kind of want it to like how he hurt you like like it's the same thing with girls like i kind of want it to like come to a head like i want to like that spice that argument so that we could just get everything out but i know he's not gonna be like that so it won't even

be fulfilling you know well i don't want to scream at people but well it's an you know it's an issue i have where i don't register something as emotionally true unless it's emotionally charged. Exactly. But that's not how everyone works or operates. And, and I think you actually can get that from someone, but you can't force that out of them, but you can provide it.

No one's stopping you from being real in your way. Yeah. I could just bring it, just walk in his room, just bring it and just go and you know dude here's the alternative i do think it's psychologically healthy if you just tell this dude how you feel and you guys have a nice moment together but you know time yeah will also help you know uh anger over the past it comes in waves you might not be bothered by this for four years, and the whole time you guys are friends,

and you build all these new memories, and your relationship takes on new meaning, and then one day you're just like, you know what, I am pissed about that again. And that's just life. Just fucking babbity boo. I just got to get this dagger out of my heart, dude. It's twisting, man.

Killing me. I think you need to take a metaphorical crap in your pants i'm feeling that right now dude i wear white underwear so i don't know how that worked dude well i think uh you're holding on to we'll let the stain sit. Yeah, dude. I think you're holding on to this whole, you hurt me, this sort of kind of maybe victim mentality where it's like, you hurt me. Yeah, whiny, whiny. You hurt me. I'm a servile. What do you call yourself?

Servile bitch. I'm a servile bitch. I'm a servile bitch. You know, and I think you need to, I think you need to rise above that, you know? Yeah, I got to own it. I got to dom him, dude. I got to be a power pop. No, I don't think that's what you're going to do.

I don't think that's what you're going to do. I don't think you need to dom him. I think you need to maybe tell him how you feel and get it out there. Tell him how it made you feel. And, you know, and then I think you'll feel a lot better but i think holding on to this resentment because giving him that much power where he's like man you made me feel like shit yeah is uh you're just giving him all this power yeah he controls how you feel yeah about yourself about that relationship yeah and you seem to willingly give it up yeah and then you make it like an

either or where it's like i'm either a bitch or i'm like owning him and it's like well you guys are friends yeah yeah exactly so dude and this kid's great dude but it's so it's so sad like sometimes i look at him i'm like we had these great times how could you just drop that that one time i mean i mean it was like it could be boke me forward kind of like what are we doing it was high school oh yeah dude high school no you just you know what man also you just got to get over it too it's high school like we all do fucked up shit in high school we're kids yeah and mom grow up dude mom lem said that he might have been going through something personal so you never know he could have been going through something and if you open up to him about it he'd be like oh well actually you know you know i was going through i was really hurt over you know

uh you know um uh the new barbie movie i don't know yeah exactly exactly yeah nothing's gonna and nothing's gonna be bad about talking to him about it that's what especially when you're in college that's what you do you have big emotional talks with your friends you air out all the things that annoy and like a lot of things that are annoying you about him right now it's just proximity y'all are just around each other too much you talk about it you get it out you yell you cry you hug it's the best you're gonna love it man you you're craving it go mix it up i'd have you call him on the pod but i think it's too tender roni yeah and he's in the other room i can see the back of his head right now i'm in the parking lot i can see the back of his stupid head not stupid it's a cool head dude he's trying to have them talking out on the

potter is that too grisly yeah i think we skip on that dude it'll get real grisly real quick because he's uh no it won't get grisly it'll just get like he'll just be like oh okay like he won't get the reaction i he won't even give me the reaction I want. What kind of reaction do you want? Like I said, I want spice, dude. I want like, oh yeah? That kind of reaction. I wish he would just dish it back. Because you said, maybe he was going through something.

I was hurting him, so he had to push me away. And he was like, I thought you were going to come to me. Like, blah, blah, blah. You were pushing me away. But I don't think that's how it was, to be honest. I never even got a reason why. So it's just a little brutal. But I got to get over it, dude.

You guys are right. I think the hardest part is probably the unknown. It probably hurts the most because you don't know how he feels. If you just ask him how he feels, maybe then it won't hurt as much. Yeah, exactly. All right. how he feels if you just ask him how he feels maybe then it won't hurt as much yeah exactly all right what's going on with your mom oh dude i could get into that so she uh i i need a little help moving out of here uh and packing my stuff up and she came like five days early and I love my mom. I love being around her, but, um, you know, she comes out here and it feels like in the recent years,

like she's shifted from like me being her son and kind of like, like caring and, or she does care, but like, it seems like she's kind of turned me into like a, a success vessel in her life. Like she needs to tell her friends and people she associates with, like, oh, my son's doing this, my son's doing that. So if I'm not upholding that standard, it's hell for me, dude. So, like, I know, like, parents just get on you for whatever. But, I mean, she comes out here.

It's the end of the year. I just finished my last final, and she's just ripping into me like you gotta lock down this apartment you gotta do this and then like storms off like ex-girlfriend style dude my last girlfriend was like that i'm like dude i don't want shade to my ex-girlfriend from my mom dude it's like freaky you know yeah i think you're just getting to an age where you're realizing that and that people disappoint you and you don't want them to but that's life yeah yeah dude so simple but i'm i'm i'm making it way too complex dude i just i need to tell people you're sensitive that's a good thing it's cool you're you're feeling things and uh yeah you're probably and it probably scares you because

you're like oh well if i lose these people these people annoy me so i want to push them away but if i push them away what do i have and uh it doesn't have to be either or you have yourself first of all so you'll be okay and also you can always take space and then just come back when you it's not as a ultimatum as it feels yeah it does feel very black and white but i should it's not as a ultimatum as it feels. Yeah. It does feel very black and white, but it's more gray. Yeah. I feel more like. Also,

I think, I think your mom, your mom's going to love you no matter what. So, um, I don't think resenting her for bragging about you is unless she puts like a ton of pressure on you, then you can say,

Hey, you could ease up on the pressure. Like it's a lot for me but but um her bragging about you to her friends and being proud of you i think is sweet so yeah it is it is i'm just trying to get into like investment banking and stuff like that so like it's competitive and i'm feeling the pressure because I'm a sophomore so I've got to get this internship a few summers from now and it's just everything's crashing down on me

and I'm barely afloat, I feel. She's giving me shit about whatever. You know what's going to put all this in the balance? Is when you are in investment banking and you can't even remember the guy's name that you fired a week ago and then you'll be more forgiving of other people. You are in investment banking and you can't even remember the guy's name that you fired a week ago. And then you'll be more forgiving of other people.

You probably haven't hurt people yet. Have you hurt anybody? Physically or emotionally? Emotionally. I think I hurt my ex-girlfriend pretty badly. But that was because she was kind of into, like, possession and, like, being around me all the time, and I'm more like a, like, I just kind of want to be free and just grip it and rip it Johnny Utah style.

And she doesn't, she wasn't, you know, in line with that. So every time I'd be on my own, she's accusing me of being a cheater and stuff. And, you know, uh, right hand to God, swear on my mother's life, pray that she die. If I'm lying, I never cheated on that girl. And every day it was with the allegations about cheating. So I couldn't do that anymore. And she was one of these, she stood in front of the door and tried to make me like physically remove her from the door and i was like i was like i'm not gonna move you like i will call the cops like i just need to get out of here like you're you're kind of being a little psycho yeah i didn't say that of course you're too justified in that one i'm not counting that one okay okay i could give

you no i think you're good no yeah i think uh don't put so much pressure on yourself too with investment banking as long as you're working hard as long as you're doing your best that's that's the best you can do there's no point in feeling like you're headed for disaster if you don't get this internship if things don't you know life doesn't always go your way sometimes it goes your way you got to roll with the punches and having this having this uh ideal outcome is uh it's it's just gonna torture you so i think just keep working hard stay at it strive for what you want to do but But, uh, you know, if you don't get the internship, your life's not over, you know,

maybe it wasn't the internship for you. You're, you're not on, you're on your own path. So, you know, you know, it's, it's, uh, I can guarantee you that, you know, i i can guarantee you that you know um if you don't get certain things like an internship or the job at fucking ubs or something that your whole life will be a complete disaster yeah you like that name drop i think they're what are they based out of switzerland or something something like that um but yeah your life won't be a disaster you you you're working hard you're a smart guy you will have a great life just enjoy the ride and do your best but don't get down on yourself

and don't um and and try to release resentment for other people because other people have their own shit going on and they fuck up too. No one's going to act perfect. And just crap your pants, man. I work on it every day, dude. I've been dropping the wrong type of loads, I think, every day with the trickery. Got to lay off the porno jt you gotta

show me a couple party tricks dude because it's bad man i mean for laying off like twice three times a day huh you want a trick for staying off the porn uh yeah dude you got one like besides like a firewall because come on dude like let's not even talk well one time i had one time i had great luck but i was able to do this i gave my laptop to chad for a month that worked great um or uh just don't be stay out of your apartment for two days straight and then you'll have a nice you'll have two days and then you'll have some momentum and the hankering won't be as hard okay you probably won't do either dude i'll implement those i'll try i hope you do all right man we're gonna let you go yes sir all right have a great night guys love you man love you too and uh just for future reference we should try and keep it to like 10 15 minutes a person that

way we can get everybody that's in queue yeah i that's that's right but i do think there's something interesting about talking to one person for way too long oh yeah it can definitely get deep and you can find a lot more out um and i don't think i've seen that yeah no it is it is probably for a reason yeah well it's good it's just there's a lot of other people waiting as well so i don't want to shit on their parade you know yeah do we have anything else to chat about we went to the spy museum together saw the spies uh that was cool dude i i i when when they said when you said spy museum i'd heard about the spy museum for some reason i just thought movie i thought for some reason i just thought spies only existed in movies but then you go to the spy museum you're like spies are around us all the

time everyone is trying to steal everyone's information so they can have the upper hand we're in a constant information war well said that was like the what they were trying to get across yeah is and that's it's this big like kind of battle that's a lot of money a lot of people a lot of resources going into yeah and uh yeah there were some crazy gadgets too that people you know because they had like they had like microphones and lamps they had um one was like a scrotal thing where some guy puts a microphone a thing that looks like a nutsack over his nutsack so let's say a pilot gets shot down and he gets captured and they're like patting him down. They pat his sack, they won't know that's a radio transponder

and not his actual nuts. When I saw that at the museum, I was like, someone's thinking about us. Yeah. I sent that to Kevin. You know what else kind of surprised me about spies the ones who are most effective are not the ones who are trained to be spies it's people who belong to the other group the group that you're fighting get disenchanted with them and then come over to the other center like hey let me help you take these guys down they used to be my good buddies are you talking

about the guy israeli guy no i was talking about the uh the i think he was like a scandinavian white guy who joined a a muslim oh really sect and then got radicalized by them and then at a certain point was like this is too hateful and then flipped and helped take him down oh wow i didn't see that one. But there was an Israeli guy, same deal? A guy from, his dad was a Hamas leader. And he helped Israel. Yeah. And there was a ton of those stories. There was also like Russian secret agents would be low on cash.

And they'd be like, oh, I'll go to the States and try to get paid. Yeah. And then a lot of spies ended up being killed by their own government right at a certain point you just possess too much information about everything and they're like we don't just want you around yeah and i think there's also a thing where like when you're so far on the other side they worry they've lost you so it's just easier to snuff you out totally yes but well there was a time um where after the cold war people like we don't need spies anymore because it was it was all about u.s getting the upper hand on russia rushing in the u.s

upper hand on u.s and we don't need spies anymore and then as morgan freeman says oh were they wrong then we up the game tenfold there's spies everywhere that was funny like how human nature is just like okay now that's done we can stop fighting it's like no no no no don't even take a break because the fight is never stopping it's crazy you better be throwing those hands at all times in every which direction is that crazy to think that there's just people out there right now just stealing information yeah i was trying to think what kind of person would get into being a spy yeah and you have to because the way it is now too i mean you'd have fake personas where you could probably be on social

media but you wouldn't be able to ever like take credit for anything you wouldn't ever be able to be like on camera as you're talking about it purely from like an actor's point of view but also i just mean you couldn't have a regular life yeah like you're like if your wife was like hey i'm gonna post our wedding photos you're like don't do that yeah that's interesting you you have to really like living in the shadows and you have to like tricking people yeah sometimes for a good cause but talk tripod says china and russia have thousands of spies here and are playing the generational game i believe that how many spies i want to meet them how many spies do you think we have in russia and china do you think we have

as many as they have here for some reason i don't yeah but i think that this is way not informed i think we're doing it on the hardware side more right than the than the spycraft side the the stuxnet stuff all of that like all the just like tech espionage that's going on and the way we're that that stuff freaks me out but then i i heard a uh podcast recently about and they were like all that stuff's very valuable but once it goes into being like a hot war nothing's better than a missile yeah like we're like oh they could actually blow us up just by like hacking our like electric grid and they're like yeah but a tomahawk missile's still better dude can you imagine i've been watching masters of air if we were just like at war right now and air raid sirens are going off and then they have anti-aircraft guns just

tossing up flack in the air because some chinese bombers are coming in we're just like oh here they come we're doing pods we're recording the pod while bombing is happening they're bombing like a the chevron power plant in manhattan beach i think we'd be surprised how quick we would adjust to that yeah like battle of the britain style where people are just like hey come over for a dinner party and then like at a certain point alarms go off and everyone gets like down under the tables yeah wild it is wild you know i'm proud of humanity though i think we've gone through and are actively going through some trying times i think the last five years have been more chaotic than like the previous 20 kind of combined totally um and i think actually humanity is doing a

a fairly good job of keeping it together with a lot of reason to lose it i thought about that too but like are we just getting older that we're noticing it more or you know like i mean covid was pretty crazy but there's always been been war and conflict, no? Totally. And I do think there's a recency bias. But even talking to older people, I'm like, have these last few years been crazier? And they're like, yeah, it's been pretty wacky. Right. I mean, dude, if you just think about like, I could be totally wrong and just a prisoner

of my own, but like Donald Trump is president, which I'm not even talking politically. It was just a crazy thing that happened. And it upped the level of kind of chaotic energy around politics. Then COVID. And then the civil unrest that we've had domestically over myriad issues. It's been going. It's been going for sure. Did I land a plan on that? do you think i did i alienate anybody no nice should we do one more call yeah i'm grateful for the craziness though i mean maybe i'm just privileged that it hasn't ripped my whole life to shreds but i do think it's made us more appreciative and

a little bit more adaptable what what up i appreciate that take jg had been been real real focus hyper focus on this spy shit bro just real interesting stuff thank you dude so what yeah like like oh yeah so just real quick to follow up on like that thought bro do you think it's just like that we have more ways to get information to us now versus like 20 30 years ago we only had like a couple news stations that like they only wanted to like tell a story like during eight o'clock or whatever or like now we can get shit from like tiktok or whatever yeah well i do think that's part of what's contributed to the craziness is that we're now more aware and,

uh, constantly bombarded by what is happening. But I think we've even handled that kind of well. I mean, it's clearly made us all conspiratorial. It's clearly made us all more tribal and it's put us into this weird, like hyper modern kind of, uh, brain barbarianism. But I think of uh brain barbarianism but i think we're

doing a good job i think we're hanging in there yeah yeah for sure i honestly i i got i got more like uh on optimism for like where we could have been versus like where we are now as far as like we could be like way more like in group out group so i i feel like it could be worse but what does that mean definitely a little crazy well like like you know like just you can easily form an opinion and then not want to have it be refuted refuted because like you've already decided that like that's your stance and like i feel like even though we are capable of doing that really easily i think some people like the majority of people are still open to having their minds and their opinions changed if they're given like enough information to to do that you know yeah totally it hurts in the moment but it's good it hurts in the moment but i i uh

i like it well for sure for sure i heard someone say like the sooner you admit that like you're wrong like the sooner you're on like like the winning side like not the winning side but like the sooner like you admit that like you might be in the wrong like the sooner you're on like the better side you don't have to worry about like being an asshat or whatever nice dude you're a legend and dude the chat says that you're not a schmoll so sweet that's that's good to hear um i actually want to call you guys because i i got a follow-up this is a this carl with the k i was that bro that's going down to brazil the other week oh dude what up yeah man so i i want to tell you guys you gave some real solid advice and all of it was absolute bangers as far as like execution goes um like so so chad

you you gave some advice you said that like i need to have like a spiritual uh a mental and like both like like a physical bulge going down there because it's all about like the the vibe the energies right yep and i i did that man like when I was on that plane, bro, like, I mustered as much of, like, a bulge that I could have that I thought possible. And as soon as I landed, you know, those iconic words just, like, came to my mind.

It was like, this is Brazil. Dude. You know what I mean? Amazing. And it took the stoke levels to a whole new, like, arena. Didn't even know it was possible. Amazing.

And Amir gave sick advice he's like dude chow down on the food especially like if you have a chance like me to get food poisoning like go deep and i do i i'm telling you right now the the boys in the chat were also not wrong like the food out of this world absolutely worth it like stuffed myself as much as i could the barbecue fantastic oddly dude they got some of the best pizza i've ever had down there straight up best what and the pizza oh interesting yeah like like you you wouldn't have like imagined it but like once you have pizza down there you're like we're doing it wrong there's something up here we're not doing right like i don't know uh the caipirinhas bro off off the hook like insane four or five of those bad boys and you're feeling pretty right what's a cup of

hanging um so it's like okay so it's liquor made from fermented sugar cane oh yeah we do a version of that in colombia called aguardiente oh okay so so but you got you got like the same vibe going like they're delicious it's like a margarita but even easier to drink oh that's different though yeah that looks that looks amazing yeah that's like just yeah that was just a close thing i could do but that looks like what is that like a mojito kind of deal yeah kind Like, you can make it with all kinds of fruit and stuff, like lime, strawberry, passion fruit. Bro, it was insane. So this kind of brings me to JT's advice and also Joe's advice. Joe said, like, you know, like, match their pace.

Smart. You know, like, don't go too hard. I was like, you know, I got a dragon in here I can let out and rage. I just need to pace it with them and uh so so over the weekend that i was there we went to uh this wedding my girl and i were in this wedding and uh slowly as like the wedding progressed we were able to get a couple beers i was feeling it i had like four or five caipirinhas you know i was just really like getting the groom stoked up like i had a whole new audience to bring

the stoke to and um it it led to the culmination of the groom like pulling me aside and calling me like giving me my new nickname which is the fuck man and i was like that's it that's peak that's peak stoke that's spiritual bulge to the max wow and you guys gave me what's up was the nickname in english or was it in portuguese it was in english like he knew enough english that he's like bro i gotta tell you you are the fuck man and i was like make sure put it on me right now dude carl i gotta tell you this story is hot it's hot carl there's nothing i've wanted more in my life than have you tell me that chad yeah this story has like a fat ass and it's just like wearing yoga pants and i'm just staring at

the oh dude it is a this story has a poppin bbl oh dude dude carl you're the man i'm so stoked you had such a good time the the uh the excitement in your voice is very contagious it makes me want to grab life by the horns and just you know hop on that mechanical bull and get flipped off and then grab a fat ipa and shower in it you know or easy rider oh absolutely oh absolutely yeah so then so like like that same night is like the wedding we ended up going to like my girl's cousin's like birthday party she like turned 18 so like everyone was like popping off like having drinks and shit and that was when her her dad came into town so I had a chance to meet that guy. And JT, you told me assert dominance. So, bro, what did I do?

I won. I had a letter written for him in Portuguese telling him how much I was going to provide and take care of his daughter and that I was the fucking man for the job. And he respected the shit out of that. And then I gave him a bass pro shop hat man and i'd tell you what the lights in his eyes when he realized that he got himself some genuine bass pro shop shit we're instant boys instant boys started knocking back beers started shooting the shit like bro it it it was the perfect advice and i got a chance to let that dragon out

be like raged completely at the same level until it peaked to a nice nice frothy stoke i'm telling you you guys nailed it like like i just had to tell you like you killed it with the advice yeah i gotta say though man advice is easy execution is where someone makes their bones that's where legends are made and you did it you took a little kindling and you turned it in to a raging party fire and uh i mean dude you you got a lot of horsepower over there, brother. You got a lot of chi. You got a lot of love. And it's all coming out. And you're channeling it well.

Carl. Thank you. Honestly, thank you. Carl, you fucked the execution in the best way possible. Hell yeah. Yeah, like seriously, like picked it up by its ass, laid it down on the bed, licked your fingers,

got the clit like nice and revved up. Yeah. And then you slid in your hard cock and you pumped with like the perfect angle. It's about that yaw, JT. It's all about that yaw. You know, people think it's about girth, but it's about the yaw.

It's the angle. It is, man. I could come just thinking about it it's really nice and he slapped the ass but it wasn't disrespectful it was basically just like giddy up life is coming and i want to ride it it's about that yeah brother yeah it was it was it was a spiritual table topping you know where it where it's like, I'm joining the family, and I'm also here to respect the shit out of your daughter and provide for her. I love that. I'm here to respect the shit out of your daughter. Did you also slip in, by the way, sir, you know I got that yaw. Yeah, well, I mean, that was implied. It's a given.

So when the guy said, hey man, you're the fuck man, what'd you say back? Oh, I was like, me? Oh, hell yeah. You know it. Like, of course. I just needed to be reaffirmed. It's like being alpha. You can't say you're alpha, but if someone comes up to you and says you're the fuck man,

it's been asserted. So do you think you're alpha or are you more sigma? See, I don't even think I want to prescribe for that, but since we were talking about it earlier, I think the actions are definitely alpha, but if I put a label on it, then I become sigma. You know what I mean?

Wow. This guy's so smart, man. Dude, I can feel your bulge to the line. Chad, I think spiritually all three of our bulges are just meeting right in the middle oh it feels good which which kind of brings me to my next my i got a real quick question for you boys yes so like every everyone like i mean maybe not everyone but the bros with hogs like we all like we all kind of assume that we have like handsome looking hogs right like do you think there's any dudes out do you think there's any dudes out there they're just like it's not handsome like i mean like i think i think my i think i got a handsome

looking hog i think my homies probably assume that too let's come up with the bonfire a couple times like yo i think we all got like like, personally pretty good-looking pieces. But do you think there's any dudes out there just not stoked? So you're asking us if there's guys who have unattractive penises in the world? Probably. They think that about themselves. You know, like, people are like, I'm a good-looking dude. Right.

Are there people who don't like the way their penises look? Yeah. Someone said, I think uncircumcised hogs are pretty uggo are you a guy or a girl the person who said that in the chat i bet it's a guy um i think some people are unhappy with their hogs yeah uh i don't know many but i think they exist i think a lot of people don't like their penises really wait let me take that back wait you guys think there's dudes out there who don't like their own dicks that's what i'm saying dude bro that's crazy we gotta help those guys i mean that's a lot of like what we do is like trying to get people to like love their penises more yeah there needs to be there needs to be more like not like as much as like the last last caller with his hog self-love but there needs to be more like spiritual hog self-love but then he's more like spiritual hog self-love you know what i mean yeah yeah man what what yeah what when you talk to your penis what do you say

i just tell him he's a good looking dude like not not like you know what i mean like he's not like a superstar he's not like out there modeling but i just tell him like i'm proud of you bro like i'm glad that i got you nice and are you proud of him for the way that he's like lived its life oh just all of it like like he's just been he's just been like a real solid dude just been like just been there like not too not too like no not too unwieldy but also like not too like you know do you think like he's just right do you think penises deserve like participation trophies uh that's a tough one i mean if you're not participating like not all penises like just because they're in the game doesn't mean they're participating you know what i mean like if there's no heart in it why get the trophy um uh carl i i have something to

tell you are you ready what's up ultimo trabajo cara that means great job, man, in Portuguese. Obrigado. Muito obrigado. Muito obrigado. Fuck, man. Oh, I went down there with like a level two Portuguese, and I feel like I came out with at least a four out of ten. Dude. And that's some pretty good progress.

Yeah. So proud. All right, Carl. Well, you're going to be our last call for tonight, because who could top you, dude? Who could bring the heart? Who could bring the sense of adventure? Who could bring the fuck? Thank you, JT.

I really appreciate that. This is going out to all my homies. You guys, I all have a raging heart on for you. And I hope you guys all become the fuck man. Thanks, man. Hey, Carl. Yeah? Crap your pants. and uh i hope you guys all become the fuck man thanks man thanks man hey carl yeah crap your pants oh bro i did like a couple months ago no shame just walking home or walking back from lunch at work bro just whoop didn't trust just trusted the wrong fart you know nice you'd be surprised, man.

It's happened to a lot of us out here. We're finally talking about it. Yeah. Less shame around it, bro. Just like, you know, just fling those undies in the trash, go commando and deal with it later. You know what I mean?

Hell yeah. Hell yeah. All right. Love you, bros. I'll let you go. Love you too. Before we sign up, Jake, are gonna take down this uh drake thing this drake a little poster you got on your wall no why would i yeah i'm gonna come out with a track what is it both kendrick and drake can suck it oh they're gonna come after you dude dude that'd be hilarious

who's this white boy or they they dig up dirt on you they'd find things that you didn't want people to know you know this pod had a little bit of everything though dude thank you siddharth ass this is a great pod thanks to everyone called in thanks to jake on the on the keys thanks to you too thanks to you dude thank you man if you need advice these guys are really nice