Going Deep with Chad and JT - EP 345 - Joe Marrese brings the HEAT

Episode Date: June 5, 2024

Today we are joined by Joe Marrese aka King Hog. We start off the pod by with Joe telling us his updated meal plan and what veggies are the most effective. HE ALSO ADMITS TO BREAKING HIS RETENTION. We take some calls, A man who failed a drug test but didn't do any drugs is now having an issue with work. Hugh Janis calls in about the neighborhood beef over a house and to end it we take a call from a cereal bedwetter.  IF you enjoyed, LEAVE A LIKE OR COMMENT BELOW!  THE NEW SHOW AT THE COMEDY STORE WILL BE LIVE AT THE END OF THE WEEK. KEEP AN EYE OUT FOR TIX on SOCIALS! We are streaming the BTS, Fully unedited version of the pod on Twitch, if you want to chat with us while we're recording, follow here: https://www.twitch.tv/chadandjtgodeep Grab some dank merch here:https://shop.chadandjt.com/ Come see us on Tour! Boston and Philadelphia are the NEXT STOPS.TIX on http://www.chadandjt.com If you need advice and want to chat with us, TEXT us with your issue or question at 323-418-2019 and we will add you to the list! (Start with where you're from and name for best possible advice) Check out the reddit for some dank convo: https://www.reddit.com/r/ChadGoesDeep/

what's up guys we have an excellent new pod with joe yo you're right this is me but before we begin first off we're on tour okay next show philadelphia june 12th show after that boston june 13th after that a weekend in san diego at the american comedy co. June 27th to the 29th. Get your tickets at chatandjt.com. On top of that, we have a new show coming out at the Comedy Store in the Belly Room. It's Joe's show, Bros Before Joe's. Do you want to talk

about it? Yeah, Bros Before Joe's. Get closer to the mic. Going to be exciting. It's us three plus Strider and Kevin. We got Annie Letterman on the show, Laura Peek, and a couple other comedians will be added as well. That's going to be Wednesday, July 10th, 10.30 p.m.

Don't worry. I know it's a weeknight. Show will end about midnight. so we're not going to keep you up that late so come on out i know it's wednesday and it's late but it's uh gonna be a freaking great show man i think i've been smiling weird in photos with women and that's gonna be in the belly room yeah you probably do the other room is a good room um i i think you smell great smell smiling that was a combination that was like gruel from uh mean girls i think you smile okay good uh also guys we we stream this on twitch the twitch is so fun hop on that twitch.tv

slash chad and jt go deep every week we're streaming our podcast live uncensored live you might even see joe's hog yeah chat saw it chat saw it uh also if you want to call into the podcast what's the number jake it is 323-418-2019. I think that's it, guys. Is that it? Yeah, that's it. Should we start the pod?

Let's do it. Let's start it. So, Joe, you just got up. How was your night last night? I mean, i stayed out a little longer than i wanted to but were you working no bro you sound sick sick i'm not you sound sick i blew my nose i it's just... Do you have allergies? No. I didn't think I had allergies. I don't think I do. I don't know.

What are allergies? Is that just something you say? That's what I thought for a long time. Yeah. About the first 25 years of my life, I was like, get real. Yeah. I thought it was just a bamboozle to sell. Tight. like get real yeah i thought it was just a bamboozle to sell tight there's a lot of tightness in the room right now yeah what's going on is it we got to loosen up should we do an exercise should we why are we did we start yeah we're live it's a live

thing you see the chat going chat okay well it's your guy's podcast you could start at any time well you guys are supposed to lead the way. All right. Word says Vegetarian Joe is looking incredibly hot. You do look good, dude. Your skin looks great. Yeah. Yeah.

Well, that's what I told you guys and everybody else. So what's your favorite veggie? My favorite veggie. Let's see. What am i into right now veggie wise probably because i eat i usually eat these bowls with quinoa chickpea uh tomatoes um i guess uh let's see probably cherry tomatoes oh what's number two um i don't know what about number three i don't know i don't really like that question wait so so you're you're vegetarian now right so your meals what are your meals consistent typically are you getting

like veggie wraps are you eating lots of chips no i mostly i'll get bowls you'll get bowls right I make my own. So it's like rice and- No, it's quinoa and chickpeas. I'll do basil. And you make these yourself? Sweet Green makes them, but I tell them what I want in it. Right. Right, so you don't make them yourself. You create your own. Yeah. Use your imagination can we google

quinoa it's a superfood wow no that's not how just spelled quinoa k-e-n-w-a jake it looks like you just got yourself a nice emo haircut the two letters you got correct are n and a i mean what like i don't know how to spell so sometimes you might have to spell it out for me I never heard someone just say it like that that's bold but yeah quinoa is great can we go to all I want to see where quinoa was like when it was invented uh and you use quinoa is that for your protein what's your protein quinoa chickpeas pretty much what's your main protein source right now i mean i'll do beans as well black beans um yeah probably those those are my biggest sources and uh to date when's the last time you busted uh i i busted this person i mean so this is personal you told i uh wednesday

oh so this is with a lady no no i was alone so you it was tough to resist the temptation? Yeah, whatever. I was stressed out. Okay. It's cool. I'm not, no shame. Yeah. It's progress, it's progress, not perfection. But I'm, I'm doing it again.

No busting. Yeah, yeah. Okay. I busted since Wednesday. Self bust. Yeah, I'm sure you did. I busted yesterday. Hey.

By yourself? I don't want to be braggy, but that was a mutual bust. But I self busted on Saturday too. Nice. You had sex with your girlfriend. That's awesome. Yeah, I could go with a I could go for a mutual bust

yeah but i mean i did a self bust the day before i've been busting more than usual hey i mean i don't know why that's good people bust i'm happy to have a someone to thanks bust with on the road um you know oh yeah if you're out of town yeah you're in a hotel you're just looking at the wall and i'm like i might as well shoot my load go work out or something maybe decorate the place that's an hour yeah not to be combative but like you you bust and then you're like okay i'll go work out and then you come back you're still in the room you still got time to kill we did work out yeah we did do it dude i we did the murph last monday that was cool uh 300 by squats 200 push-ups 100 pulls i didn't fully recover from that till

saturday i think wow my arms were swollen how long does it take yeah you get those big puffy buys your biceps get like uh they get puffy yeah yeah. It's weird. You could do that in an hour? We did it in about an hour. Yeah, just under an hour. 300 push-ups? Squats. 300 squats? I mean, the push-ups and squats are pretty easy. The pull-ups for me are tough.

Yeah, pull-ups. Once I get to 45, I'm struggling. 100 pull-ups? It's like one at a time. 100 pull-ups. That's hard. Yeah. I couldn't do that i think you could

no well that's honest it's a good workout it was really fun yeah i was you know i got sick so i don't know if it was like a bad move to do the murph because then like my immune system was already a little beat up from traveling but I wasn't super sore I just got a really bad cold afterwards did you did it accelerate your sickness I don't know it's hard to say I think it was more the travel I think it was starting to creep up on me

everyone's there's something going around LA yeah our buddy got yeah our friend has pneumonia is he recovered no I texted him yesterday. He's still not. Is he in the hospital still? No, but yeah, let me see what he said.

Because he's had this now. He's been out of work. Should we call him on the phone? Am I calling him a name? He said, I said, are you back yet? He said, not yet yet still recovering from this pneumonia been a rough few weeks damn yeah that's brutal yeah bing six sucks pneumonia is one of those things that you know my mom would threaten us yeah my dad too if you didn't wear a jacket or

something you're gonna get pneumonia if i didn't wear shoes outside now somebody's now got it maybe it wears jackets dude tuberculosis is going around no way that's crazy what doc holiday had dude tb or maybe it's touching but touching bust is going around oh yeah i around I can tell you that touch and bust has been going around at least for me T and B touch and bust it was really nice to see your kids yesterday

he visited? no I surprised him with the kids oh he brought them to your it was funny I picked up Joe. We went to the farmer's bar. I'm like, let's go to the farmer's bar. He's like, let's go to a bar. Yeah.

Then I'm like, I got the kids in the back. Yeah, I didn't know the kids were in the freaking back seat. How are your godchildren? I'm only godfather to the one. You're godfather to both. Oh, I am? Yeah. Who are you supposed to...

That was... Who did you think you were godfather to? oh i am yeah who are you supposed to that was who did you think your godfather to just the boy no oh okay all right well that's news to me i have a really cute pic not for the pod but for for chat oh that's adorable is that joe pushing oh sorry oh yeah freaking send me that dude the godfather himself he was great with him yeah we went to the farmer's market it was i haven't been over there in a while it was a good time it was fun oh man um oh shit man do i sound stuffed up yeah i'm gonna go blow my nose this is bullshit dude i was i was walking the dog this morning i had a running with this this older lady who you know she kind of she i see her on the walk and uh she's got like a little bit more of like a attitude where she's walking she's like you know probably in her like 70s just

power walking and just pissed you know and there's some dirt on the sidewalk and she's walking she walks by me and she turns around she's like your dog do that and i was like no she's like just give me a look she just kept going wait so the implication was that your dog's the reason there was dirt on the sidewalk? Yeah. Interesting. Well, I'll tell you why. Because one time, Lola likes to dig holes, you know, because she can smell gophers.

So, she's like, she's digging a hole. And so, we were on the side of the hill and she was just digging a hole. And that lady walked by and was shaking her head she's it's hilarious people who just love to get pissed off yeah they just love any any they're just like on a walk be like i need to make sure you know it's it's uh they're just enjoying getting pissed off all right i'm back um no i didn't whack it today somebody's asking fresh pair of pants as you blow your nose like an italian whatever that means i don't i try not to blow it too hard i don't want to uh

joe do you pop a blood vessel do you have covet no i don't have covet pop a blood vessel. Do you have COVID? No, I don't have COVID. But is COVID real? I don't know. You tell me. I probably took an L on that one. Those were the days. Do they have a test for it? Dude, were those the days, though?

No, those were not the days. Yeah, dude, when you wouldn't get vaxxed and we were all beefing? Yeah. Not beefing. We weren't like... And guess what? If you have another show and you're like, oh, we have to get a shot. Not doing it again. How about that? I'll do a shot of whiskey.

We could do shots of Jägermeister right out of the Jägerator. If we get another show, you got to eat a cheeseburger. Yeah, if that's what it is then fine yeah if you gotta eat a steak yeah yeah i could do that because i've had those before yeah um what do you guys want to talk about what was that hell do you want to talk about that hell question oh yeah so i had a are you guys want to talk about? What was that? Do you want to talk about that hell question? Oh, yeah. So I had a. Are you guys ready? Sure. If you want to get deep.

What is your guys' visual version of hell? Visual version of hell. Like, what do you think it looks like or something? Yeah. What's the experience? Well, I don't think it's a real place. But if you had to imagine it as a real place, what would be your version?

Well, hell to me is a state of mind. As someone that's dealt with, and you guys have had various mental illnesses at different times, as I have. various mental illnesses at different times as i have um hell to me is a dark place of anxiety and fear when you're in your head all the time and nothing you don't feel safe you're uh just You're just drowning in anxiety. And you feel like, yeah, you're afraid of everything. Your OCD is very high. And you feel like you're losing your mind.

That's hell. I could elaborate more, but let's not get morbid. What about you guys? Mine is being stuck on a plane with a sense of impending doom as your connection is taking off and you just can't move. You're stuck on the tarmac? You're stuck on the tarmac you're stuck on the tarmac forever that's brutal you can't bust yeah and then meanwhile the demon is eating your dick damn i had two one is uh you're on a podcast and you're too baked and it never ends.

Oh, yeah. We were talking about that. Like being too high. Yeah. What? You're getting too high? No, in hell. Oh.

And then the second one is you're downloading porn and you're really horny and you have to bust and none of the videos will buffer forever well what is this 98 no you're on you're on like marriott wi-fi and it's not loading and you're just there for eternity being like come on download download yeah oh download. Yeah. Oh, come on. I need it bad. And you just keep downloading videos. You keep hitting preview, click. Nothing's showing.

And you're just like. You're on Alaska Wi-Fi and they say it doesn't work. Yeah. Alaska Airlines. Yeah. So you're in the back of the plane. You're well hidden. Getting ready to bust.

And it just won't work nice or like hell is like an in and out line and every time before you get to the order spot another car pops in front of you and you're just you're just getting hungrier and hungrier forever i think just continual repetition with impending doom. Yeah. Continual repetition with no release. That's even in the, I don't know why I said even, but in the Islamic faith they say it's your skin is burning and then it regenerates and burns again. Right. So that regeneration, that repetition, that is consistent.

Well, I think one of the like greek gods or in greek mythology one guy's punishment is he's like chained down in the underworld and and uh like these dogs like eat his body well and then his body regenerates is that hermes something like that or aramez the uh hermes is floating around up in olympus delivering messages with winged feet there's that uh high-end retail company now but yeah i took one of those uh immunity shots today those are good oh yeah where'd you get no this little uh health food place right by me, just a little spot. But yeah, it was like apple cider vinegar in it.

Are you voting? Some other stuff. Voting what? For president. Oh, you're crazy. Are you? Probably. I have fun with that did you see mexico elected their first female president

oh really yeah oh really scientist she's former uh just mayor of mexico city she's got good bona fides but i don't know anything about her uh practical leadership bona fides like a show what does she look like that's a good question are you asking if she's hot yeah yes that's a good question the new mexican president that's funny you guys said yes it's a zoo tug you guys are funny dudes whoa dude whoa dude she is hot wow dude wins in a landslide yeah they she got 58% good for here good for her yeah good for here too and there man what up when suerte el presidente or la presidenta ah que bueno si hola joe yeah tienes un una un pene muy grande this is smart did you say something about pene

suppressed no pene means cock in spanish oh nice we might still get suppressed uh oh dude jake are you getting flirted with in the chat oh my god yeah but his name is fuck puzio so jake let me can i marry you nice i mean i don't really swing that way fuck pusio but if you got a sister i'm down what if he was down with that he's like oh all right yeah jake it is pride month yeah yesterday was the parade oh was it yeah i don't want to be a bad ally i had no idea yeah i met up with uh some friends afterwards and uh had some fun joke jay uh joe you'd be a good bear yeah you'd be a good twink i don't eat twinkies

because it's meat no they're gross highly processed yeah i don't eat hostess i used to back in the day i would crush hostess what was her name um her name was hostess we'll get it cause hostess is like someone that greets you at a restaurant mhm

you didn't get it what? um you know I think we're cooking actually i think the rhythm is in the non-rhythm right yeah i'm doing fine oh i know what'll pick us up what joe tell us how there was a second murderer at the oj scene no i don't want to talk about that. That's all you talk about off camera. I mean, people could look that up themselves. Yeah, you're probably right.

I don't want to talk about it. I know, it's juicy. It sounds good. Yeah, juice. That was his nickname. I mean, boobs are nice. Yeah, they are nice. What do you love about boobs?

Are you more of a butt man or a boob man? Yeah, I mean, I go back and forth. I mean, because you do like a nice butt. But then you're like, you see boobs and you're like, oh, those are juicy boobs. And then you see a nice butt. You're like, oh, that's a sweet ass. So you're pretty much,'s a it goes up and down so if you see i mean if you see your crush nude and she's like joe take me

do you first go towards the boobs and start licking away or do you eat the butt yeah yeah i think you start at the boobs would you always the move would you be able to accept a reality where there was sex but no kissing uh not really i mean i love kissing do you ever keep your eyes open sometimes i do no that's weird you don't like to look at the person a little bit no you almost can't it's so it's like uh it's like a bug almost well yeah and then you're uh you're like i feel like you know their face is right on yours you know if your eyes are open you can't really see it's kind of just that's so real yeah do you keep your eyes open when you eat butt yeah you want to see what would you see uh i mean i think you'd see uh

you want to see you want to see you want to have good aim some i think you could see the tube do you think this like recent verdict against donald trump is going to really impact his ability to win the election no yeah me neither hey you guys should tell people about our uh new stand-up comedy show yeah uh bros before joes yeah uh it's july 10th yeah wednesday july 10th at the comedy store in the belly room yeah and we got joe we got schmole we got strider we got jt we got me annie letterman annie letterman laura peak oh laura peaks on it too yeah and probably get one more comic It's not on the website yet.

But yeah, we'll have a link. We'll have it up this week. You know, because now it's about a month out. But yeah, we'll have it up. Bros Before Joes. Kevin made a fun flyer. Yeah, it was great so it's really good and uh it's in the bellinger room it's a small room you know we could only sell like 65 or 70 tickets so people better get on that yeah i'm pumped for that that'll be fun yeah it'll be fun

i'm pumped for that that'll be fun yeah it'll be fun so um do you guys think common interests are like mandatory for friendship uh i mean that's kind of how you become friends because i was thinking about we're all so close but i don't know if any of us are into the same stuff right that might be why we're having trouble kicking up some stuff locking in on this yeah because like joe well i don't really see you guys anymore no i saw you yesterday yeah that was like the first time in a while well that's kind of like what i do with my podcast they're kind of like dates almost because like i have people on that i don't talk to that much so it's like our time to bond what's been your favorite app my favorite app yeah um i mean i i really like the one um episode 100 with you guys was great uh i also really liked the one oh yeah i just had my dad on

oh that's so cool yeah on zoom i really want to see that one and then um that was a fun one where i did with my friends ron and adam where we talked about uh the bear chicago bears was kind of a therapy session. And then episode 109, where I had a few other comedian friends. They were doing an impression of me the whole time, and I didn't acknowledge it. Who did the best impression? Bruce Gray, Zach Ciapponi and renee lancaster um i don't know they all they all have kind of a fun uh version of it yeah so yeah that was a that was a funny one but uh that's awesome yeah thanks also if if you guys aren't subscribed, Joe's page is right there on the screen.

Yeah. Go subscribe. Yeah. Oh, thanks, Jake. That'd be sick. It's badass. Promotion. Should we hop into a call?

That could be good. Yeah. Calls are cool. Hey, this is Alex. What's going on? What up? Yo, Alex. What up?

You got Chad, JT. How you guys doing? And Joe. Good, good dude how you doing oh i'm hanging in there uh speaking pretty good talk to us brother what's what's ailing you all right dive into uh i'm doing good today but I'm in a bit of a pickle recently. So I'm in the military and I failed a random urinalysis not too long ago, a couple months ago. Been in for 17 years. Drug related? And that pretty much means now that I'm facing discharge, like losing my pension that I'm only three years away from, losing a whole bunch of stuff.

But, yeah, there's still investigation pending and stuff like that, sort of, kind of. I'm still trying to fight it. It's not in stone yet, but I guess I'm planning for the worst and thinking, well, if I get out, I don't really know what to do, what career field to jump into. So I figured you guys could give me some insight there. How old are you? 39. And what do you do in the military? oh and what do you do in the military um i've done emergency management search and rescue kind of stuff from an office not actually out on the water or out like in the field or anything

maybe given a little bit away but i'm going to try and be vague about some of the details no sure just trying to figure out what your skill set was and thank you for your service and for uh yeah no i've uh i've heard you guys had some other like in in the chat and on the calls and uh definitely some good veteran presence with uh people calling in recently so yeah i always appreciate you guys uh giving us a nod and then what's the uh what would be your dream job after you get out? Well, my plan was to get to 20 years and then lean on that retirement money, maybe take some college courses, which I would get housing money to do that too. Just basically through a couple different incomes, work a chill job at you know i don't know like a bike shop or something and and be able to uh support my passion of uh snowboarding in the wintertime um yeah as far

as like dream jobs uh i don't know um i like video production stuff like that but i've uh i don't have any like experience per se beyond just you know messing around on my own are you uh what what's what are your main skills have you learned some like skills that can take you into other jobs from the army so i'm essentially like a 9-1-1 operator so we like if i'm all right i guess i'll just give a little bit more details um so i'm in the coast guard and we i work in an office that like receives incident reports and then dispatches out like response whether it's like a search and rescue case or pollution or it could be like multiple different things but um skill set kind of aligns with like what a 911 dispatcher or somebody in emergency management would be doing however i really don't have any interest

in like doing that like i've done it long enough and right um you know i'm kind of hoping for maybe a bit of a shake up and then do you get a lawyer for your case i do yeah he's he's doing his various lawyering um there's like there's a couple levels of review before the final decision is made. Um, and it's like past the first level and, uh, each like subsequent level takes the previous levels recommendation into like pretty strong consideration. And that first level was my local command whose decision is to,

uh, discharge. It's kind of, I i don't know i won't get into a whole lot of the details but um i'm contesting it um i got a hair follicle test done like it was a random urinalysis and i got a hair follicle test done that doesn't have any drugs in their system so oh that's good were you did you feel at all betrayed by your local commander for that recommendation oh absolutely yeah i um i went through a real dark period for about a month like after getting the news it was a surprise to me and uh you know like military the whole but specifically on a local level in my experience they really harp on like you're a valued member you know we appreciate everything you guys do we

want to make it like a family and all that um and they just like they just dropped the ball with uh looking out for me specifically my mental health and everything um i had to really like advocate for myself which is tough to do when you're dealing with like the trauma of your kind of world falling apart um but uh yeah being in good support external to the military um therapeutically through friends and family everybody's being super supportive so and do you have any do you have any idea why you your piss came back dirty i have some i guess you could say like i have a hypothesis or two so i think it could have been a tampered alcohol beverage um i had just gotten back from a snowboarding trip to europe and uh girlfriend and i went out

um had dinner had some drinks and stuff and then like it was the following like early the next week like a couple days later that tested positive um either that or to be honest like the way that they conduct testing is kind of jacked and i think there is room for error um in that like they messed up your sample part of my defense is attacking the chain of custody right saying like you can't say 100 certain that like you follow policy and conducted this testing the way you should have but it kind of just turned around he said she said so yeah so it's a whole thing well and is your lawyer confident you'll be able to still get the pension pension no that's pretty much out out the window unless i'm retained which

is our like end game here like trying to keep me on active duty um but short of that the pension's gone i should be able to um retain like gi bill so i like the schooling thing you know i could go back to school i have an associate but i could go back and like get a bachelor's and and get money while doing that to give you like a monthly stipend for like housing and whatever but um is there anything we can do to help you win your case i was so i had this like i had envisioned um if it was any other branch of the military if you've served at least eight years you're entitled to uh like an admin separation board and i just had this vision of you guys like standing up there in front of some high-ranking military brass just advocating for me um but that is i don't i'm not entitled to that because my branch of the military has their own rules and regulations that are different.

But, yeah, I don't know. I mean, I figured I would call in here because I'm like, well, so I live in Maine. I'm from Maryland originally. Lived in Seattle for five years. I'm thinking about maybe moving back there. I don't really know where we're going to. I'm like, you know, the world's kind of my oyster if things don't work out.

So I'm like, well, maybe get my voice out there. Somebody's got like a dank job offer in Seattle or something. I don't know. Yeah, I mean, you guys could – I don't know. You're doing enough just by having me on here. What do you like to do? Do you like to get into your body like like would you want to be like uh you know doing something like manual labor like let's say you're doing some fishing in seattle or would you want to do something a little bit more chill like underwater welding underwater welding yeah it's

pretty chill or like would you want to go like a trade school like do learning a trade sounds sick no yeah that's uh that's pretty heavily where i'm leaning is like doing something um like i i hate monday through friday you know normal office hour kind of thing so something with shift work or just a flexible schedule that i can take some you know a week here or there off to go you know go out and camp for a while or whatever but yeah no i love the idea of doing a trade i'm just not really sure what uh what field is right for me what about being a pilot i considered that um i have uh pilot pilots in my family. Um,

considered maybe like, I want something with like perks. I was thinking like, well, I could work for like an airline, you know, get like the free, like hook up the flying stuff, but not necessarily a pilot,

you know, some kind of like ground maintenance kind of thing or something. I don't know. Right. Tough dude. There's a lot of jobs out there yeah but i'm confident you seem like a smart guy you seem i mean considering what you're going through you're keeping your head which is uh not easy and uh i think there's plenty of time to figure out what you want to do i know you'll find something you're passionate about i think uh short term we're just wishing you luck that you you win this case is your lawyer good uh i mean he talks a good game early on i guess like i've i've certainly had some like

doubts recently that like um you know early on we were like communicating a lot and he put together a big like robust package that you know i had to solic like communicating a lot and he put together a big like robust package that you know i had to solicit character statements from people and stuff for but like there's all this work early on and now it's kind of like i text him he doesn't write back it takes like two or three days to get a hold of them and he's like he's a fast starter probably an enfp on the myers-briggs that's typical uh yeah early enthusiasm but lack of follow-through on the details that's me being too harsh maybe we could i don't know if you could give us your name but like maybe we could do a gofundme to get you like the sickest lawyer ever yeah that would be

huge because i've actually already had like i i've told my situation to like some friends and stuff. And I've actually got somebody that's like I know a very reputable military lawyer with a history of like these kind of cases. But like the way I'm looking at it, like I have money saved up, but I don't want to keep dumping money into lawyers if I'm like going to be without a job in the near future. So like i've already had to do that once um yeah i guess the upside is like if and this is just working it out you know better than i do and i'm just a dude on a podcast but if if you get the better lawyer could you get the pension the the only way to get the pension is to be retained to finish out three more years and get to 20, which is not outside the realm of possibility,

but it doesn't seem to be trending in that direction. And that's a pretty lofty goal. I'm sorry if everyone already... So what's the next best solution in terms of the verdict or outcome? So what's the next best solution in terms of the verdict or outcome? I mean, if I'm not retained and I'm like discharge general under honorable conditions. Yeah, it's not going to be honorable. It's general under honorable conditions. It's like the next step down.

But it kind of precludes you from being able to like, like you're not, you may or may not be eligible for like veterans benefits, like healthcare GI bill. I should be fine on because I completed an honorable enlistment being like my first enlistment. So yeah, it's tough to say what the next best thing would be just uh walk out the door with

some dignity i suppose oh wow was it one failed test and that's it yeah one failed test that's crazy i've had probably a hundred in the 17 years that i've been in including every like i got to this unit two years ago i've had six or seven every test they've done here i've been on so i don't know if they're like you would think it's like targeting and stuff right because it's only supposed to be like 25 or so of the people each time um including like back a couple years ago when i was stationed at a different unit i had a hair follicle test let's go back like months i was fine on that i just had one on my own accord like i paid for a private one last week and that came back negative

um but there's like a preponderance of evidence standard that all they need is one failed urinalysis and they're like sorry no second chances this is all the evidence we need you're done that's why wow well uh we have some people in the chat mom lem specifically she's like she comments on our youtube all the time she said you can reach out her husband was in the military for 20 years uh yeah i'm following along in the chat here i'll uh i'll read back through and maybe uh you know yeah and also people have great names yeah and then uh someone's saying you could become an electrician give me tons of work for that with the e with the upcoming uh ev transition

good union jobs there um smart uh yeah dude learning a trade getting like a badass truck doing some electrician work that's a i'd say yeah yeah keep your head up and uh you know just um keep in touch with us and uh we want to help you get through this and get to the next step and yeah we got your back yeah appreciate it guys yeah i'm doing i'm doing much better today than i was um it's almost three months removed from the from the notification that i failed the test and you did not you did not do drugs you did not do drugs yeah no no no no yeah you get what i'm saying no yeah

you didn't sound confident there we got to do that again Yeah. You get what I'm saying? No. Yeah. You didn't sound confident there. We got to do that again. And we'll edit it different so you sound confident. Yeah, so it was... So let me ask you. You did not. Did you do drugs? No.

That was good. Is that confident? You did not. Yeah, it was the you did not. I confused you you the question was bad yeah yeah but on that last answer if you were hooked up to a lie detector the needle would have been just straight you know what i'm saying it would have been like what make up your mind is it a yes or is it now i'm saying it would be like just like like so calm. Like they'd be like, Oh, that was totally not a lie. You know what I'm saying?

Yeah. Like the opposite of a jumpy needle. Have you done a lie detector? Not for this. No, they, there's really no investigation that goes into it. I brought it up. I told them I'm like willing to do that. I'm willing to do an aeropolical test and all all this and they just don't really have any interest in investigation so um yeah it's about as far as it goes i like i did do a hair follicle test like i mentioned

like a week ago i paid for that myself but i'm like i don't want to keep dumping money into like other lawyers or like the polygraph and stuff like that if i'm like facing the inevitable discharge i'm going to be without a job soon so yeah man dude well it's it's such a bummer just to hear how they're uh treating you um yeah not a great policy and not not a great way of showing appreciation for me for 17 years of service. Yeah, tell me what drug I did then. What is it? What is it positive for?

White powdery substance. Oh. Yeah, I don't know. All right, well, keep us posted man good luck yeah appreciate it guys um yeah i'll keep you updated as this process drags out i'll probably have more uh yeah at some point i'll get a final determination and i'll uh i'll definitely fill you guys in yeah and a lot of the people in the chat too have some good suggestions um so they're saying to call kevin oh you could call kevin yeah dude call the schmole

yeah i thought of that before i was like you know i was like you know there's a small of a lawyer out there that might be able to help me dude you get the schmole on the case i don't know how well versed he is in military law but take a dip get your foot wet yeah all right dude thanks for calling in later bud up would adderall pop up on the test uh it would probably just come up as like an amphetamine or whatever they're called um i don't know if it would specifically say like adderall and then if you if you have a prescription would that be okay then like what if you got a prescription for cocaine they don't have those they probably do no some of these quack doctors and we hope there's no

health benefits to it i'm 10 feet tall and bulletproof every time i take a bump i'm kidding i haven't done coke and i know i was never a big coke guy it made me yeah give me an itch i couldn't scratch i hate it i don't do it well i remember the last time you took adderall was before that wedding in oregon oh yeah for like three straight days yeah that was that was uh that was the first time your mental caught up with you since college but i remember you told me you ripped it at the wedding yeah you said were you smooching a bridesmaid no i i just was chatting everybody up i was talking to everybody's parents oh that's the best yeah it was good you were the social king yeah were you crushing it yeah it's awesome yeah it was a fun uh fun wedding up there and uh and did and did you uh did you have anxiety about it afterwards

washington yeah yeah the comedown was bad oh it's the worst so yeah i had a wedding this weekend i partied oh yeah yeah yeah how Yeah, yeah. How was that? It was fun, dude. Where was that at? San Diego? San Diego, yeah. A Wales vagine. Wait, so was it Kennedy's buddy or your buddy?

Kennedy's. Oh, okay. Yeah. Nice. Was she a bridesmaid? Mm-hmm. That's fun. Yeah.

So you were at a good table. She crushed it. Oh, yeah. I was at the head table. That's big. Yeah, I love a nice wedding. I had a nice Wellington beef.ington beef the breadwood uh yeah i think so baby if anyone knows it's you yeah nice oh yeah not to make you jealous um fine yeah it's a nice cordon bleu uh and, you know, towards the end of the night,

all the dudes had their shirts off, just ripping up the dance floor. That's nice. The thing with Kennedy's friends, all her, like, friends' boyfriends are all, like, hot jack dudes. Of course. So it's like every time I see them, I'm like, I need to step up my weightlifting game.

Damn. I asked the groom, I was like, he's a he's an mma fighter wow and he's uh well he's he he's not professionally he he doesn't it's a dabble but he actually does fights right that's big and um i was like dude what's the best thing to learn for self-defense is it muay thai jujitsu and he's like get a gun and i was like well yeah that's the right answer yeah what are you gonna do bob and wave around my bullet yeah dude the jujitsu's coming in his butt scooting at a guy while he puts two in your chest yeah yeah uh oh thank you not pete mitchell yeah they must be

intimidated by you they're all sweet dudes they're all they're all really cool sweet dudes um one i met one guy as a pilot i was talking his ear off i'm like dude tell me about it dude i'd love to fly what was he saying about it he's like man if you have that much thrust that much horsepower just at your fingertips it's best feeling in the world his favorite thing he flies for united but he was flying like private for like brad pitt and like burke kreischer and stuff whoa and uh he was like uh he's like uh he said his favorite part is landing what's that uh i think there's just so many variables when you're like coming in and and it's like you're fighting with the wind and he's like and when you just when you just kiss the runway yeah with that much it's it's a pretty amazing feeling um it sounds like

you had some pretty were you were you perked up on anything besides the booze yeah yeah what were you drinking uh no i i just tequila shots so you were connecting good though tequila shots i love tequila shot dude i don't really get hung over from tequila shots yeah they're hurt yeah but you gotta like be holding a drink i mean you just put that down it's fun to hold a drink no no i don't think it's necessary looks cool it does that's true but all other bottle i mean all other all other drinks would be like yeah like i was like they had like red wine i'm like that's good everything else i'm like that's just gonna lead to a hangover do you guys think i'm a bitch yeah yeah 100 percent yeah yeah 100 on a one to ten scale how big a bitch what why what makes you ask this question yeah why are you asking that have you felt like a bitch lately i think it's actually good when i

feel like a bitch because that humility is like healthy right but i guess i was just curious but you guys are being so sweet like you both were just hey foot off the gas there brother we're not going in that direction uh and i was genuinely curious if we think you're a bitch on a one to ten scale how big a bitch do you guys think i am like a six damn i thought you were gonna say five i don't know that's well i guess for all people it probably goes up and down too right i think we're all we all have some part bitch yeah yeah in certain areas certain areas we're not certain areas we are um you know like joe you're not a bitch when it comes to retaining your load yeah that's right yeah has that discipline for you been pretty good for your self-esteem yeah yeah it does uh

does wonders for you and you you uh i mean you have more energy. Have you felt more? More mental clarity. Have you been hornier? Like when you see a girl, are you more excited? Probably, yeah. I mean, I'm still horny. To quote the principal from Billy Madison. Horny's a good word. Yeah.

I think we should use it for other things. Like, would you consider yourself intellectually horny's a good word yeah i think we should use it for other things like would you consider yourself intellectually horny yeah i guess so yeah i mean besides puss what are you guys most horny for good emails you do love to email i love a good email right when a hot email comes in i'm like let's go all right if email was only like one way like if it stopped being how people communicate do you think just out of muscle memory you'd still fire them off just send it into nothing but just the the where we at on this circling back yeah bumping this back maybe that's hell dude you just constantly circling back with no response just going into a pit

circling back dude i like emails too it does scare me when i fire one off and i expect there to be like an eight hour lag on the comeback and then someone fires it right back that scares you a little bit it's like i'm it's like i thought i was playing tennis against no one and then the ball just flew at my head right so you think that they're a little too on top of it i just wasn't expecting it i thought i was in a relaxed state where there was not going to be a back and forth, and all of a sudden I'm in a rally. And it's like, hey, charge the net and put it down. Yeah.

You don't really email. No, I don't really email much. What's your method of communication? Mostly text, like everyone else now very rarely do a uh straight up audio call you know facetimes facetime with my dad a lot um yeah not too much uh phone call going on these days. I think texting has undermined masculinity. Really? Because for men to use words at all is somewhat diminishing to our personal strength. And texting is all words. and texting is all words well when you read a text don't you kind of imagine that person saying those words that's why i don't like it the exclamation point can

really bitchify you it's tough i yeah i use those quite a bit that's the thing it's like sometimes i'll use them sometimes i won't and it's like trying to decipher it's like do i do i let my bitchiness bleed through or do i shamelessly or do i act tough or am i actually stoked i've had people call me out for not using them so i don't want to deal with that anymore there's a huge obligation to the exclamation point yeah especially when you're talking to women no offense i use it on every text not every text what does that make me a big bitch or yeah that's i mean that's excited that's like phony no it's just like the where the button is on your keyboard it's like easier to press than the period if that makes sense i've been trying to text like someone will send me something i just write grunt

nice or like i write like uh me not saying anything but understanding the importance of our mission is there a grunt emoji it's more like scene description yeah i wish but then emojis are like kind of manly but not super no no you can't use those as a man no my girlfriend told me that my texting was very um maybe a heart was very uh she's like it's very um methodical or not not like i she's like you didn't put a lot of emotion into it and damn yeah which i thought was like yeah i'm a man i think that's cool you sound like a samurai to me yeah she's like babe i'm on my way home good strategy first i'm making you dinner cool just getting changed send pic hell yeah

that's how i text dude one time some dude just texted me he's like you get some random person it was like a wrong number situation he's just like hey what's up i'm like who's this he's like who dis i was like jt he's like send a pic nice amazing did you send one no i was like dude i'm a dude and then he goes all right later oh hell yeah he was off to the next town that would be funny it's like wrong guy it was funny just being accidentally like being a girl for a little bit and then seeing how guys act towards girls because you hear about it yeah but you so rarely get a real window and right where it's very like pushy and kind of like thirsty yeah just like hey we fucking some pic some pic are we fucking you're like what that's what i imagine a lot of yeah like a lot of

guys like yeah dude um can you imagine just like someone who's very like just what up and just that photo of him with his dick you know i think i saw cool guys in high school like there was this one dude who was at a party one time and he just like walked up to this girl and like in front of like 10 of us just started like fingering her right and he was like you like that and she was like i love it and then like she loved it yeah it was wild my brother i could call my brother because we were both there and we were bunches like what is that and he had like a he was like a cool dude he had like a cigarette in his mouth he was like 12 yeah he uh he just cruised off so like a guy like that he's it's working for him right and then he gets to be 30 and he's still doing it and you're like hey man

right i don't know if we're still uh in the same place yeah we're not greeting people by fingering them she's a nice girl oh yeah i gave her a ride home the next day great oh yeah yeah what's she up to now i don't know we could try and find out i wonder give her a call we could ask her about it yeah i don't know if she still has the same phone number from 18 years ago, but I could try. It's even longer. I've had the same phone number forever. 20 years ago. Wow, 20 years ago?

20 years ago that happened. Just straight to the finger? You just, what up? Yeah. You like that? You like that shit? Man. I swear, dude, he was like a kid.

man that's weird he's like a kid joe what do you do you prefer fingering or eating butt um how bashful you got it's a funny question uh yeah i i'd prefer fingering over uh eating butt yeah do you eat butt i mean if somebody asked me i would i i really don't but you know uh i wouldn't turn it down exactly do you still journal when was it when was i ever was i i write i'm kind of writing a what makes you kind of writing a tv show right now what makes you more bashful being asked about your journaling or being asked about eating but but being asked about eating but it sounds right yeah what's the tv show about um you guys are in it okay uh it's about me i'm the owner of a police tire shop.

No, no, no. It's a gym Oh, I like that. slash daycare slash bar. I like it. I like the bones of it. All different areas. They're not all one big thing. It's sectioned off.

The kids aren't at the bar. You're the owner? owner yeah i own the whole thing what are we like personal trainers we take care yeah you uh i have you as a director of cabs i like it yeah yeah like it's a gym only to get your calves big it's that specialized jt's the uh sauna guy so it's good for my head i have some fun with that what's the best gym you've ever been a member at uh the parkridge community center

uh the parkridge community center in my hometown that was the only gym i was ever a part of i never was my brother's a big gym guy so he's kind of like uh the inspiration for my writing not to other chad but you're at a gym now do you feel like that's changed how you relate to people? What kind of bougie is? Yeah. What? What gym? Is it with a chain one? Equinox?

Yeah. They have valet parking there, right? They valet. They do? Yeah, you get a latte when you go in. Is that Culver City? Yeah, Culver City. You get a latte when you go in.

You have someone there to change your your towels so you know i'll whip my towel off get changed and just hand it to some dude sometimes the guy won't be there but if he's not i'll pretend he's there and i'll just drop the towel because you know i expect premium service and then um people lift for me wow you're not even doing your own lifting no it's how do you get the gains did you get peptides nice are they how are they with you only at the gym or do you also take them home no that comes with the membership they come home so they're just with you the whole time what do they do when you have them at your place hotels everyone i've saw he's outside the door right now you probably need

to tell off quite a bit i would think i think that's a slave yeah frank yeah is that his real name or did you because you like the name frank did you name him frank yeah that's crazy bro i'm not trying to are you against people holding towels and i'm against you having a full-time slave or part-time but that's what everyone loves equinox that's what... Everyone loves Equinox. That's what happens when you get an Equinox membership. You get a slave. You've just changed a little bit. Since you got the membership. I'm sorry.

I'm not trying to say it in a bad way. It's just different. Jake's got my hometown pulled up. I mean... Bringing back some good memories. Is it? Yeah. Park Ridge, Illinois.

We can pick it up later. That's where I'm from. We can talk about it later. Oh, FFC is the high the high end gym fitness formula clubs those are uh those are our equinox actually if i'm being truthful that i i put a freeze on my equinox membership oh really why because i want to do boxing and uh mma yeah there's nothing for me at these gyms you're gonna get good at that stuff i mean i just i just run the hills and get shredded up there yeah that's the thing i was like i could just run the hill outside i literally just go to the gym

to run on the treadmill i'm like why am i paying for this it's nice having a towel holder i'm not gonna call him slave it's nice having a towel holder yeah why are you running in the gym yeah good call go outside do you know that the someone said the first virtue in a soldier is endurance oh for real encourages the second wow yeah i could see that i mean the guy i'm listening to he says that courage is the level of consciousness 200 level 200 so if you're below that then you have negative energy people avoid you because they feel like you're trying to take something from them for material gain but when you're at the level of courage then people are more attracted to you because you're able to take on life and then yeah i love you go you keep going you know the highest level

of consciousness was like jesus and buddha yeah god their consciousness is the highest what is this dianetics yeah or chakras are you doing scientology again is dianetics scientology i think so wait i don't think that's what it's called, what he's saying. No, the Celebrity Center. That's like, yeah, that's Scientology. Why would they call it the Celebrity Center? To attract people to go there to sign up for Scientology. So I've been doing Scientology this whole year?

Yeah. I've told you that like three times. Oh, crap. Yeah, don't do Scientology this whole year? Yeah. I've told you that like three times. Yeah, don't do Scientology. But it's... I've been crushing it there. They love me. You do seem really good. Like, you seem really happy. And the whole thing you said about courage was cool. I've been crushing it. I've been getting

acting gigs. I've been talking to Tom Cruise. Personally. I know. I just... The things I hear about it sound a little grisly, but you do seem really good. Yeah. I'm not saying stop doing it. I'm just, I'd be a bad friend if I didn't flag what it sounds like. You better not, you better not bad mouth David.

David. Duchovny. Miskovic? Yeah. I don't know much about, doesn't heich yeah i don't know much about doesn't he like i don't know what i want his wife's been missing shut up dude hey that's the that's a non you don't talk about that she's on a hike it's to where yeah people go on hikes joe goes on hikes he comes back yeah i come back in an hour and a half you guys just don't understand like i'm not being a suppressive reaching she's reaching for her next level of consciousness it's on the dianetics so she's trying to get to 800

once she gets there she'll get to a thousand have you had to give them money yeah give them like 500 bones a week nice but i've been crushing it you are doing good lots of good sniffling have you guys ever applied for a loan no no should we all just go do that what are you trying to get a loan for a house all sorts of stuff do you have to specify what the loan's for can i just go to the bank and be like hey give me a couple hundred grand i'll pay you back like no i think you get three're selling it i think there's certain only certain circumstances dude hugh janus is applying for a loan can you can you call in are you actually applying for a loan i would like to for what business business yeah just to pay for shit just to pay people payroll right we got people like

editing stuff a house you know we've talked about moving out of la i'd like to get a loan for a house yeah he was telling me that yesterday he's looking at uh we're looking at camaria i almost don't want to say it because like the real estate actually went down there in the last year. Like Ventura is like a hockey stick. Camarillo is going down. Dude, you can get like property out there. You can have a place. A hockey stick?

You ever heard of like, it's cheesy, but have you ever heard of hockey stick growth? No, no one's ever heard of that. You've not. No one else has either. In Dianetics, we call it a Tom Cruise. What is a hockey stick? Well, I hate to say this. We call it a Tom Cruise.

You know how like a hockey stick, it's flat and then it goes up really fast? Yeah. Now picture that on a graph of growth. How do I know about this? Because I've been hanging out with financial people. That's my Scientology. I have friends from Pitney bows and well that's i mean that's dumb because that's like the hockey stick laying down like you hold the hockey stick like how it is on the screen so i don't like that uh

but they're they're just trying to incorporate a fun word no see here's your thing you're an artist you're a comedian so you don't know about like terms that other people use to the everyman hockey stick growth regular vocabulary I've never heard anyone say that

cause you hang out with comedians all the time I didn't even know about that what do comedians talk about all the time they talk about like callbacks and tags yeah comedians all the time about that what do comedians talk about all the time they talk about like uh just like uh callbacks and tags yeah dude i got a new tag yeah i got a new tag yeah it's cool shit it is cool you guys want to uh call hugh janus about his loan yes what up legend hughus, talk to us. How's it going?

So basically, the house next door to me, she was a 92-year-old lady, just passed away recently. Super sweet. My mom took great care of her. And now the niece is trying to sell the house. But she's kind of being a re-nob. How's that? Yeah, my parents were like were like just uh you know we don't want to deal with any realtors or anything just give us the number you know we'll try to help you out

do what we can she was like nah we're going by the books and by the way get your shit off our lawn we were like whoa dude that's cool and we're like we were like totally there helping you guys out and now you're just uh throwing us under the bus here you know what i mean right yeah so she there she was like calling her house ugly and stuff like that like being real nasty to my mom when my mom was like sorry to help her out sorry to hear that and now now i gotta schmooze this lady it's like how do i what do i do to win her over wait sorry can we recap a little bit i'm a little bit lost here so uh so her her ma who passed away the she's tech i guess she's the aunt because i

don't know if the kids are still around. The niece is the one who comes by. So this is a house next door? Yeah, right next door. And the funny thing is, is the niece is like, yeah, we want to sell this house so that I can build a house next to my son and watch my grandkids grow up. And my mom's like, that's what I want to do. Yeah. And she's just like, sorry. Have you tried eating her butt?

Hmm. Hmm. Overfingering, you think? Yeah. I mean, that would be certainly a slice of humble pie, both literally and figuratively. But it seems like it could lead to a business loan that's see when you go down that road my brother was just telling me that he's like just open up an llc like a real estate llc and as soon as he used those three letters he lost me and he

explained it to me for like 20 more minutes i was lost but i was like sound good smart okay so i still don't understand yeah i'm not so your mom helped take care of the next door neighbor who was dying now that she's dead uh her next of kin wants you guys away from the house because she feels like you're trying to split the profits on it and she just wants it all for herself basically that's kind of it uh maybe not so much like help throughout while she was dying like we've lived here for seven years and she'd just go over every day visit with her hang out stuff like that and then once it started to get bad obviously she was there but it was pretty quick and now it's like we've been here you know helping you guys out and the niece now who comes by the house to

i don't know upkeep stuff she's just nasty and my mom told me to go over and talk to her and i was like i don't know if that's the best idea but what are you guys fighting about they want well my mom wanted to get a price on the house before they put it on the market and they want to go straight to the market and it's kind of a touchy subject because like i can't just walk over in there and be like hey what do you want for your house i got to be like you know sorry about your loss but also the house so it's like a touchy dance that i'm just just just be like here's the. You guys just want the house. I wouldn't get into a moral argument of like, we looked after her. We took care of her.

You're not even that close. That's all dumb and icky to me. Just go over there and say, hey, we really want the house. How much is it going to cost? That's what we tried, man. My mom tried that. And the lady just told her to kick rocks. So she wants to take it to market to get a

more higher competitive price i guess so i'm not really sure because like i mean of course they didn't even give us a number like if they gave us a number that would have made them happy we would have done or tried to do what we can you know they didn't even give us the option they just said nope yeah it sounds like she just doesn't like you guys that much. I think you just got to wait for the house to go on the market and see if you can win the bid. But it's going to be tough. Yeah, that was my dad's suggestion.

He said, you know, put it under my fiance's name. Get our last name out of there. Don't even associate with it. Throw it all under the DF's name. Smart. Do that. Yeah yeah that's the goal but uh i was hoping that i can you know schmooze her eat her butt something yeah you should we're not opposed to that if you want to dude i mean yeah i haven't gotten to look at her yet so i

don't know really know what i'm working with oh yeah i don't think that matters go over there yeah i mean i think the more and maybe the older and more kind of like uh cranky she is the more effective a butt eating will be yeah that's true that's true i mean it's probably been a while since she got a good old-fashioned butt yeah so i think i would just tell your family like hey, hey, I got to do something. Tell your fiance, hey, babe, this is for the good of the family. I will brush my teeth. I will Listerine. I will do everything afterwards. But I'm going to have to eat this lady's butt.

And you know what they say, the more nasty the crank, the more that butt is rank. Yeah. Yeah. I think my DF would really respect that honestly you know yeah i'm putting my body down on the line yeah for our future you're risking hepatitis something a through d some letter give her that i, dude, you start the LLC, you make the offer for the house under the LLC, and you wear a disguise every time you see her. And then your fake mustache can fall off

when you're knee deep in her freaking ass. She's like, is that my bush? Is that my bush or just your mustache? Exactly. There you go, Q. I was even thinking maybe like Q janus llc yeah it's got a nice ring to it yeah dude you uh freaking you go up to her you bend her over and you say here's my business loan spread the cheeks and just go to town yeah oh yeah the dirty talk with like the the jargon is like friggin crazy spunky yeah you're gonna make you guys are next level with your jargon thanks

you're about to make joe bust yeah oh no dude he's got the hockey stick growth. That's the second time he's heard that. Hell yeah. It's like Steve Prefontaine said. It's not who's the best. It's who can take the most pain. That's exactly what I was saying. I actually have my dad here, Mr. Janus. I got Chad and JT on the line. Put the dad on the phone.

Mr. Hugh Janus. I'm calling about the neighbor's house. How do I schmooze the lady they told me to eat her butt padre anus speak on it andre janus what's up boys what's up mr dad it's a it's a true honor oh the honor is ours dude dude you sound about the same age as your son that's awesome so how are you i liked your plan to make an offer on the house using a nom de plume what the hell yeah going incognito there it is you didn't like nom de plume that was brutal don't stop saying stuff what about nom de guerra bro so mr i don't think he speaks french mr five years of french i don't know any

mr mr janus what do you we are suggesting that we send your son into battle specifically going and eating this lady's butt but battle what do you think sir a battle i've heard a lot of you guys advice in the past i've never heard any bad advice so oh talk that in good you guys you guys are like 100 nice when did you first eat butt sir oh ouch yeah i didn't mean it as a slug dude i meant it as a hug yeah dude i think he's pleading the sank on that one hey there it is man you guys go straight for it they go deep yeah yeah yeah we go deep and when i see it when i see a failure fellow sailor dude no no man my bad yeah dude mr janice i'll let you guys go enjoy good talking to you all right good talking to you too dude keep us posted on the house and let us know how

you get a loan will do thanks for talking to my dad he's a legend yeah awesome all right thanks for the sweet advice i'll definitely take you up on it and follow up awesome yeah and brush your Awesome. Appreciate it, boys. Yeah. Love you, man. Brush your teeth after. Will do. Will do. Listerine strips, for sure. All right. Bro, we had to get our nanny. Like, we all got sick, and we had someone come over and do some spot duty. And when I went to send her her Venmo, I did an acronym for saves the day. It said STD. Yeah, why'd you do that?

What'd she say? She said, why'd you send STD? I was like, saves the day. Right. Yeah, I don't send that like that. What would you have done? Spell it out. I thought it was cool.

STD, it's got a bad connotation. That's what's wrong with Americaica negative connotation sorry dude bill walton had a quote i really liked he passed away yeah he just passed rest in power he said a flow plus meaning equals performance nice flow plus meaning? Equals performance. Oh, wow. It's pretty sick, huh? Yeah. Man. We're right at about an hour 30.

I got one more call that I think would be good. Yeah, I got to head home soon, so maybe one call and then we cap it off. Yeah, what's this call pertaining? so maybe one call and then we we cap it off yeah what's this call pertaining um this guy seems to have an issue with wetting the bed oh so um floodgates are open let's see what he has to say hello hey is that me how's it going hello hello oh what up boys what up how you living i'm not the two boys sitting in the parking lot about to go into work dude that's freaking tight hell yeah man get a self-indulgent are you uh on speaker i'm not a... I don't believe that. You what? It sounds like shit. Yeah, my bad.

This phone's three days younger than God. Oh, that was fire. Nice. So, we'll just get straight to it. So, we've heard that you are a bed wetter. Yeah, man. This is a recent problem. With semen?

I wish, dude. Oh, man. yeah man this is a recent problem with semen i wish dude oh man did you piss on your phone i think i may have honestly like was it in your pocket nah maybe i don't know i'm hammered every time i do well maybe sorry keep going but yeah so uh it never really happened before i'm 23 and then uh this saint patrick's day i got home from the bars and woke up getting ready to go to work and i was just soaked and i don't drink that often but every time i do it now i just everywhere man just wow and and he knows yeah dude sorry to hear that yeah when you have that dream that you have to pee uh don't don't actually do it in the physical realm yeah leave that in the dream the pee goes in the toilet. Get up. Go piss. That might not be a bad idea.

I was even thinking about every time I drink, it's still like diapers. I mean, can we get you... I'm sorry, dudes. Can we get you to... Is there any way to speak more clearly under the phone? Hold on. I don't know what's going on man

do you pee on your phone yeah i think i did man that sounds a little better i can hear him fine can you hear me now yeah yeah so um this is a common thing i've heard about in college when the floodgates are open they're open you know that yeah you can't you can't shut that thing off you're peeing yeah i mean i never i didn't pay her at all in college like my room's fine then i get home and i'm living in my parents house again just unleashed dude wow so it's only since you moved back in with your parents so you started peeing the bed do you feel like there's any kind of nostalgic right yeah and also are you kind of infantilizing yourself maybe crazy maybe something about that childhood bed. Did you piss your bed when you were a kid?

Yeah, a couple times. And when you would pee the bed when you were a kid, what would your mom do afterwards when she found out? Normally, I never told her. I was embarrassed. I'd try and clean it up as fast as possible shame yeah yeah I like talking about my problems do you love to party yeah I like the rage how many times have you pissed yourself recently? Dude, since March, it's been about like four times. Wow.

That's a lot. And you're being honest. Yeah, being. You're being 100? I'm being 100. But it's only when you're drunk. It's only when I'm drunk. And I don't rage that much because i'm always working but when i let loose it's wow do you piss before you go to sleep

i try to no sometimes i'm just not i'm in a flow state you know things are happening you know what dude i wouldn't change a thing i think it's wrong of us to think it's wrong to wet the bed i think you should just keep living your life exactly as you are and like if people are going to judge you for that that's on them and i think honestly you're going to find a girl who is okay with it hell yeah and if she's not, you could also do the classic move of being like, oh, you wet the bed. Yeah. You have to pee, stains.

It's also a little hypocritical of a woman to be like, oh my God, you wet yourself. And it's like, well, you have your period once a month. Yeah. Yeah, that is true. Yeah. So yeah, keep peeing. I would pee more. Yeah, I like that, keep peeing. I would pee more.

Yeah, I like that idea. I might just start doing it sober for the hell of it. Yeah. When I'm in those dreams that Joe was talking about, just let it loose. Yeah, I guess. My buddy Zilla pissed my bed one time when he slept in there, and I was like, dude, what the hell? He's like, I had a Gatorade before bed.

I understood. Yeah. So I wouldn't worry about it. I think you're on the right track. Piss as much as you can. And just be stoked on it. Wake up. And then when you wake up wet, just say yes.

Pardon me, Alfred. Yeah, you might want to see a doctor too just in case it's an infection or the alcohol is causing inflammation in your bladder yeah could be a good idea and people in the chat are saying you need to move out of your mom and dad's place i think that's the best place to be pissing the bed yeah yeah i'm trying to get it out of my mom's ass house it's not in the financial situation right now gotcha what do you do for work so i work two jobs um i am a greens keeper at a country club and i'm a pharmacist technician i'm about to start my farm d program in the fall so i'm going back to school

hell yeah man do you piss on the greens oh every day dude i think you're right where you should be yeah i think everything you sound like a great guy too like i got no questions about like how you're handling yourself out in the world. I appreciate that, man. Yeah, I feel good about everything. Yeah, I feel good, too. Joe? Yeah, I mean,

if you're drinking a lot, maybe just cut back so you don't get so wasted that you pee but we think he should pee well he says he doesn't drink that much yeah i mean if you enjoy that smell i mean the smell can be uh sometimes uh soothing to you smell piss yeah that pungent smell i mean uh to each his own i'm not gonna yuck your yum joe yeah are you at all nervous about bringing home a girl and her finding out maybe a little bit but uh i swing and miss with the birds a lot so i don't think i gotta worry about that problem right now well you're doing the important thing which is swinging yeah it takes some cuts would you be bummed if you brought home a girl and you found out she was a bed wetter that'd freaking fire me up there you you go. You're no hypocrite. Yeah, put that on your Hinge profile.

Yeah? Yeah, I'm looking for someone who wets the bed. I like that idea. I'm going to do that right now. Good. Let us know how that goes. Yeah. For real.

I'm curious. I'm going to take that bread wetter to Philly with me when you guys are here. Oh, you're coming to Philly. Oh, you're coming to the show? Cool, man. Hell yeah. Dude. You're coming to Philly. Oh, you're coming to the show? Cool, man. Hell yeah. Dude, you're the man, dude. Don't change a thing.

Keep crushing it. Keep peeing. And yeah, that's what's up. Dude, thanks for firing me up, though. Of course. Of course, man. You have a good day Pleasure talking to you guys

Yeah Hell yeah You too Hey when you guys go to Philly You should Go to that pizza place Where it's It's just sauce

On the top You know that one No Yeah they don't put cheese It's just like That sounds awesome It's just bread Tomato pie

I thought you were gonna say You should pee on the bed Pee on the bed. Pee on the stage. Well, yeah. You should do that too. Hey, speaking of hinge profiles, JT put on my hinge profile that I hold my fork a crazy way. And that's what I get the most responses from. Hey!

Yeah. A lot of the girls are like, I'm excited to see what you're holding your fork like at the first date. Yeah, dude. Work it. It's true. It's real. You really do hold the fork crazy. Yeah, I do. are like uh i'm excited to see what you're holding your fork like at the first date yeah dude working it's true it's real you really do hold the fork crazy yeah i do but it's always like funny trying to explain it i don't i guess i shouldn't even it's a conversation starter and you're leading into your true eccentricities i love it that's awesome yeah nice good work all right well joe thanks for coming yeah thank you for having me guys yeah hopefully next time we're uh in our our full uh 100 health yeah 100 but uh we still did it we did well awesome yeah well chat thank you guys yeah the chat's great yeah twitch thank you guys for

watching guys if you're listening to this recording we stream our pods live on twitch twitch.tv slash chat and jt go deep be a part of the chat be a part of the fun it's uncensored it's live it can be any which way and you can participate so check it out thank you guys for being stokers thank you for listening thanks a lot guys thank you guys if you need advice these guys are really nice