Going Deep with Chad and JT - EP 355 - Strider Wilson joins

Episode Date: August 14, 2024

Today we are joined by the T-Dart Gold Medalist, Strider Wilson. We start off the pod we our favorite Olympic Moments and lobby for T-Darting to get introduced in the 2028 LA games. We give a breakdown of our favorite show at the moment, Presumed Innocent. The studio gets rocked by a 4.4 magnitude Earthquake, about 2 miles away mid recording! We take some great calls, A man from Chad's College needs his DJ set back so we call the man who stole it. C-love calls in from Boston after eating a Pound of Ground Beef and 6 Eggs.  Bros Before Joes SHOW AT THE COMEDY STORE TONIGHT (AUG 14th) here: https://www.showclix.com/event/joes-august14th We are streaming the BTS, Fully unedited version of the pod on Twitch, if you want to chat with us while we're recording, follow here: https://www.twitch.tv/chadandjtgodeep Grab some dank merch here:https://shop.chadandjt.com/ If you need advice and want to chat with us, TEXT us with your issue or question at 323-418-2019 and we will add you to the list! (Start with where you're from and name for best possible advice) Check out the reddit for some dank convo: https://www.reddit.com/r/ChadGoesDeep/

What's up guys welcome to the podcast before we do anything make sure if you're on YouTube you like subscribe Comment that helps out the pod and helps get it out to more people so they can feel the stoke also We have a show That's tonight, so if you're in the Los Angeles area Come to the Comedy Store at the Belly Room tonight 1030 p.m.. Get your tickets to Chad JT calm.com. It's the show Bros Before Joes with me, JT, Strider, Joe, Kevin the Schmoll, Andrea Jin, George Perez, Robbie Hoffman, Isaac Hirsch.

It's gonna be sick. So make sure you get your tickets to ChadandJT.com. Also, we live stream these pods on Twitch. So it's a lot of fun. Make sure you check out the link, twitch.tv slash Chad and JT go deep. And most of all, enjoy the show. Late.

Tick, tick. ["Going Deep"] What's really going deep, Chad and JT. Dude, hbomb98 says he didn't see you at the T-Darting event, Strider, at the Olympics. What's going on with that, dude? Dude, I'm lobbying for it for 2028. Paris wouldn't have it. But LA, when it comes to LA, they're adding a lot of sports, cricket, flag football, baseball,

and T-Darting. T-Darting, and you're up for two events, technically, T-Darting and tea darting. Tea darting, and well, you're up for two events technically, tea darting and raw dogging. Correct, I'll be doing the raw dogging event, absolutely dude, that's just gonna take place in the middle of the international terminal, LAX, just posting up. That's a good spot for it.

Oh yeah. So if you're clear or if you have a pre-check, do you just go straight to the event? Exactly, if you're clear, pre-check, cruise on through, make sure you have your real ID, they're gonna be enforcing that and then just start dogging. You know there's gonna be a carless Olympics, dude, did you hear that?

That's their LA's goal. These cities make these goals, they're like, yeah, we want a carless Olympics. I don't even know what that means. I like that, so they're gonna boost public transpose so people can just get around that way? That's the idea. Yeah. Beautiful. We need that because otherwise it's going to be a disaster.

Dude, totally, bro. I thought it was bikes. That'd be cool. Probably people are going to be on bicycles. Maybe they're going to be blading, dude. You blade? I mean, I blade, dude. Dude, if I could blade to each event. Dude, I blade to swimming and then I blade to gymnastics.

And then I blade to see you tee darting. That'd be a great day. Now, forgive me if this is too, you know, risque, maybe graphic, but do you bring your wife to tee dart at the event or do you tee dart just like a thing? It's often like figure skating. You know, you find a partner that works for you. I'm fortunate for me

It's my wife. We are really dialing in with one another. So it is technically a dual duo event So you lick your wife's pussy at the event, but you're the only one who gets a score. Yeah I'm the only one who gets a medal. It's kind of messed up It's the first iteration kind of backwards But the dude is the one who would be awarded the medal and then if you were gay could you T-dart someone's a man's asshole? Absolutely. Absolutely. And so I guess I guess what I'm thinking, if it's, you know,

if it's a gay couple and it's a man T darting a guy's asshole, you know, positionally, is the man still legs up? Or is he on all fours? Do they have rules and regulations around that? It's sort of around like artistic swimming. Well, you will choreograph a routine. So you'll be switching positions. You'll be, you know, you might be able to start out teetarting from a tabletop position, all, you know,

the wife or the man in the relationship is down on all fours You're teedarting the butthole the brown or you're teedarting Excuse me the pink and you're either teedarting one to the other depending on your partner. Do you get extra? points if your partner comes If your partner doesn't come you're not gonna qualify you're out and how do they ensure it's a real come? Oh, they have judges on this. They've got a pervert panel and people who have seen a lot of people come. I'd like to be on that. Yeah, you could do, I mean, look, you could still get on that.

You'd be really good at that. Thank you. Yeah. And you could judge, you could go like, that's fake, that's performative, or this was a genuine nut. I think in true Olympics fashion, I would love to see you pull off a shoulder press T dart. So you like this? Oh, there's going to be some serious athletes out there employing that. You know, there's going to be people from Uzbekistan, good upper body strength in Uzbekistan, just absolutely lifting Chad in perfect form, lifting the partner up and down. Just like that for going and all has to be done in under 11 minutes.

Which country is your main rival? There's a lot of really good tea darting going down right now in Micronesia, believe it or not. There's a small island in the South Pacific. Did you say that because they have micropeckers? That's JT. You would say, why does this sport develop in certain areas? For me, I got good at tea darting because I have such a small penis. Need to develop to develop a love arsenal. People in Micronesia, that's how the country got its name.

Micro penises. So they're very good darters. I think they're going to be a heavy competition. What about Brazil? I mean, because the choreography, people in Brazil have fat hogs, carnival, a lot of confidence, people, you know, dropping dong. But because they do that, capoeira People in Brazil have fat hogs, carnival, lot of confidence, people dropping dong. But because they do that capoeira and they're very good, a movement,

a culture of movement, beauty, look for them to score a lot of points in routine. How often do you guys eat pussy in real life? Daily, dude. Breakfast, lunch, and dinner. You eat pussy three times a day. I already had some this morning, yeah. That's so fucking chilled a day. I already had some this morning, yeah. That's so fucking chill.

Actually, I had BewhOLe this morning, actually. Dude, that's fucking chill, dude. That's why you're running a little bit late, dude. Now is that a special thing or is that like a? Nah, I just like to jumpstart my morning. It's like a coffee. Oh, that's nice, yeah. Are there nootropics in BewhOLe eating?

I mean, dude, the bacterial faunae in there do have neutropic and anti-aging faculties? So you know, when you- People think your gut is your brain to a certain extent. It's true. Right, with microbiomes. Yeah. The microbiomes. It's true.

Well, that's why my girlfriend and I were so like, and she's like, we're so in sync, we're so on the same level. And I'm like, well, that's because I eat your asshole. It's because I stay attached to your ass. Right, right. Do you ever just like chase her around on all fours while she's trying to get stuff done in the house? I mean, that's like our entire relationship.

Sometimes she'll be like, you need to leave because I have to like do my taxes. I'm like. The cartoonist Crumb, who had a lot of sexual perversion in him, he had a girlfriend, pretty. They didn't have conventional sex more than three times. She said his favorite thing to do was to ride her

around the living room like she was a small horse. Wow. And she was into it. She loved him. This is a beautiful thing. She recounted it not like in a erotic way, but more in a like, that was crumb. Was there penetration or you just wrote her?

Just wrote her. And I don't know if he was aroused while he was doing it. Probably, right? He was about 6'4", 245. Krum was a big boy. Yeah, cause he was an offense attack, led a D2 school. Stratter, what are the uniforms for the tea darting event? Nude.

You compete ancient Athens style. Nude. Completely nude. Are you gonna carry the torch too? Nude? If they give me that honor, JT, I would absolutely like that torch. Completely nude, dude. That'd be pretty cool.

Be so chill. We actually had something in the script about that one time. Really? About Chad carrying the torch with a small dog. Oh yeah. In ancient Athens. Do you think, where do you think, I heard they're gonna do swimming at SoFi. Isn't that crazy? Yeah we talked about that last week. And then where are they gonna do

track and field? Probably the Coliseum again? That'd be cool, I think so. It'd be sick because that's where they did it last time, right? Yeah and it's called the Coliseum so it really ties back to like the original games. Dude was this the best Olympics ever? I loved it, I loved it. It might've been the best. I caught Olympic fever, fellas. Me too. I was watching it every night. I should've watched, dude.

Dude, I was on the Peacock app, what up? They did a great job. Peacock and Hulu made it really easy to watch stuff. You could find sports. You could go down and find any sport. And then they even clipped it up. I missed the Simone Biles. And they're like,

the best five minutes of gymnastics you ever watched. Watch Simone Biles beast it. I was like, that's amazing. Oh, so they have like highlights. Maybe I should watch those. Dude, yeah, you should. You can go back and revisit. You should.

What was your favorite moment? That's a great question. I mean, dude, I was saying, this probably isn't it, but I was saying I was not into the men's basketball, but dude, Steph Curry hitting those threes, bro. Like the other day, I was like literally like, this guy's so sick. It was so much fun.

I loved that. Doc Rivers said that three-pointer he hit was the best shot of his career. Like bigger than anything he did in the finals. He thinks that will be his like historical kind of photo op forever moment. Dude, he was so amazing. Dude, there's a picture of him hitting a three and Anthony Edwards is in the background. Oh, go to that one with Wemby. This photo is so sick because Wemby is so huge. Sorry,

keep going. He's, yeah, dude, Wemby is so long. But Anthony Edwards is smiling ear to ear in the background like a kid in a candy shop. Like everyone, like he brings so much joy. Like I don't think I have any more joy than when I watch Steph Curry play basketball. Yeah, that one, Jake, the one with Wemby in the air trying to block his shot. You got to get the full length of it though. Yeah, truly. There it is. Wow. How tall is that guy? Seven to six, seven to five.

Do you guys see ray gun break dancing? Oh yeah. Truly amazing. Wow. How tall is that guy? Seven six, seven five. Do you guys see Ray Gun break dancing? Oh yeah. From Brazil? Australia. Oh, the Australian team really bad. Dude, I thought it was fantastic. That was hilarious. She did the kangaroo.

Of course the guys hog, the French guys fat hog hitting the pole. I mean the hogs were. The Turkish shooter as well, the calm, cool collected guy just treating it like he's in his own backyard. Also LeBron dude. LeBron dude, yeah dude, like literally like him crossing the Washington crush in the Potomac or Delaware.

Well just the way he played, like the way he was the point guard and you were like, oh man, if he would have just had some. Yeah. Like he could have just been the leading assist guy of all time. He's the leading scorer because he didn't have nobody else to put it in the cup.

Dude, I'm gonna talk some S here. Colin Jost, what a boob. What did he call him? The guy's a boob, dude. Why did they put him on surfing? Dude, it's so infuriating. Bro, exactly. Chad, you're big on surfing.

Why did he do that? It's so infuriating. That guy's whole existence is infuriating. He looks like a friggin knob. But he's somehow top dog at SNL, even though I've never seen him be funny, and he's married to Scarlett Johansson. Yeah, he keeps winning. What is going on here? And I don't mean to be such a hater.

He might be a nice guy, but fuck him. Yeah, I mean, I don't know. And it was surfing. And then I guess he stepped on some coral, which this looks like a serious injury, but I mean, like just goes to show. Dude, yeah, what a putz. The dude shouldn't be out there.

He actually got injured. What a fucking... I know. Ugh. They can't, well, this is because he's a NBC guy. Like there's got to. What a fucking. I know. Ugh. They can't, well, this is cause he's a NBC guy. Like there's gotta be someone at NBC. Dude, Daddy should have done it, our bro,

that we met in Cabo. He should have been out there. Yeah. Oh, he's a nice guy. He's a great guy. I mean, anyone, dude. Even if you're gonna pick SNL cast members, there's probably a better, like more SoCal.

Probably not actually, I don't know. In any case. I just, Colin Jost, yeah. Dude did you watch the artistic swimming formerly known as synchronized swimming? Did you guys watch that? A little bit. Fun. It's good, it's tough to do.

My mom used to do it like water ballet type stuff. Dude, the athletic, what do you think's the most athletic thing you can do at the Olympics? It's tough, cause I graded two ways. It's how hard is the thing to do and then how high is the level of competition you're going against.

Like, cause with some sports they're hard to do, but I don't think the best athletes go into them. So don't give them as much credit as I do to, like, I don't think the hundred meters the hardest thing to do, but I do think you're going up against the most athletic of the most athletic. I throw in one more category where I'm like, I agree with the first two,

then I throw in one more where I'm like, if another athlete from another sport switch could they do it well? And with that criteria, I think the floor routine in gymnastics might be, it's literally a square space with nothing on it. And it's people saying, go be athletic. Is that harder than like the pommel horse? I agree with you on gymnastics for sure. But no, I think it's the greatest display of athleticism.

I do think the pommel horse like is insane, but I'm like, what's the one with the two rings where they swing? Is that the pommel horse? That's the pommel horse. That motherfucker looks tough too. And then the rings. The rings are insane. But I'm like, dude, like this translates across anything. Like let's make a square space and put any human from the world in that square space and go be athletic in it.

Simone, like I think even if LeBron did that. So you love it because it's so core. It's so primal. Very core. It's like wrestling and running where it's just like, hey, this is it. Make it happen. Power, precision, creativity, fucking dexterity, flips, catching air. It's everything. Speed. It's everything. Yeah. I mean, Simone Biles, maybe the greatest athlete of all time. And dude, the Cuban guy who

won his fifth gold medal. Oh, what he went in the- Heavyweight wrestling. Love it. Five gold medals in a row, wrestling. Wow. 42 years old. It's awesome. Yeah, you like when there's an aged athlete.

Wow, look at that guy. There's like a- Such a remarkable human. There's a lady in dressage with the horses who's been doing it for like five Olympics. Do you see that Nija raged so hard with his medal that it got like rusted? I saw that.

All this boy that he was just boozing, sweating on it, pissing on it. He's like, yo dudes, this medal is kind of whack. And I'm like, no, dude, he just raged on that. Dude, fuck, so like, oh, his medal rusted like that? Yeah, look at that, dude. Is that a barrage? It's because he raged so hard.

It's because he raged on it. Yeah, I saw a lot of trolls on his Instagram post saying that good bronze actually erodes like that. I don't know if that's true or not, but supposedly that means it's good bronze. I trust that. Yeah, that's probably right. It's probably just good bronze.

Dude, you know what? He probably got that. He probably put that in the B-hole. I think he probably did. That's what I would have done. Who's, what his or someone else's? His. Yeah.

Oh, he shoved up his own ass. To make him to come? I mean he's Nigah dude, you know, who knows? He does flips and shit dude. Clip it. Dude, Ron Smithers says may your bronze rust from raging, that's sick. What's the most arousing metal dude? Cold Steel? You mean like to win or just like

period to make you nut palladium whoa yeah uranium dude dude plutonium dude oh it's radioactive plutonium a metal? Don't know. Dude, what is even plutonium? I just know it's in nukes. It's in nukes, dude. Is plutonium a metal? Dude, it's an actinide metal, bro. Whoa. Yeah.

Type of metal, dude. Not a heavy metal, but a type of metal, dude. Radioactive silvery metal? Wow. That's pretty sick. Damn. Snoop was awesome. Did you say that right? You said that right. Actinide?

Yeah, maybe. How'd you learn how to say that? Dude fucking just, you know, when it comes to reading and shit, with vowels, the first one does the walking, the second one does the talking. Tough acting. Is that for real? Yeah.

Whoa. Wait, what, say that again? Dude, when it comes to reading and shit with like fucking words and vowels, the first vowel does the walking, just chill and post up. And then the second one, that does the talking. That's what you emphasize. That's what you give.

Whoa. Do you have older brothers? I do, they taught me that. That's huge. Yeah, it's true. One time my older brother was pinning me in wrestling and instead of saying, uncle, he'd be like, do you say actinide?

And I'd be like, what do you, that's not how you say it. And he put me in a boss and tea crab or whatever. Then I learned to finally say it because of that duress and that pressure. Hey, no disrespect. That looked more like a full Nelson. That is true.

And it's technically an illegal move but my brother didn't play by the rules. He should only be able to do a half Nelson. I'm an older brother. Would you put your little brother in full Nelson's? Yeah. Really? Yeah.

Do you teach him any words and shit? Oh yeah. What? Bitch, slave. Really? Damn. You'd make him say that to you. You'd make him call you that cause you want to,

cause you liked when he talked to you like that? No, no, no, no. No. No. Because you liked when he talked to you like that? No, no, no, no. That's crazy. Tough acting to an actor. Dude, some guy said I only own three shirts. I'm pushing merch, dude. That's like a...

I'm a businessman. How many shirts do people own normally? Exactly, dude. How many shirts do you need? What's that guy's name with the angular dude that talks about shirts? Henry Miller? Here's the thing about shirts.

Okay, everyone wears clothes. All right, marketing, number one, you judge a book by its cover. They say you should open up the book and read it, but here's the thing, the cover is gonna get you to reach for that show and open it up. That guy's, he's winning though, dude. He's got you talking about him.

Dude, and that's his whole goal. Yeah. Dude, I'm addicted to it, dude. Also, the you talking about him. Dude and that's his whole goal. Yeah. Dude I'm addicted to it dude. He just also the algorithm knows dude they gave me that guy. He fooled Nelson dude. He did dude. He did. What's it? Who's this guy? I don't know his name. All I know he's the angular looking guy. The riverbank guy. Yeah. Oh Luke Belmar? Yeah. Yeah guys. Oh dude I can't watch him dude.'m obsessed, dude. It's so funny, dude. Look at him. I love it, dude.

He goes, here's the thing, dude. Dude, 10 million dollars, 10 million dollars a year in salary. Okay, 10 million dollars, a lot of money. Let's just get that out of the way. But let's talk to the 1% of people. It's not enough. Okay, what are you doing? You're getting taxed on that.

How are you going to make bank, dude? It's easy to spend that amount of money. So you got to make more money. Oh really dude, good call. I should make more money, dude. But he's got you, dude. Maybe dude, probably. We got to get him on the pod, dude.

But that's him getting you more. I'd be cool. I want to get got. That's the trouble with- Teach me to make bank, dude. I want to make bank. It's like, it's weird. It's like, with- Teach me to make bank, dude. I want to make bank. It's weird. It's like, we're like making fun of them, but they're already making fun of themselves.

So by getting us to co-sign it, are we just making them bigger? Yeah. But are they aware that they're making fun of themselves when they do it? That's the question. Yeah. I don't know. If they are, then that's good. I think Andy Elliott knows what he's doing. Yeah. Yeah. Hundo P. knows what he's doing. Yeah, yeah, yeah

He's a genius dude his wife She could beat my ass. Did she do him pull-ups and stuff dude. He's married to Marjorie Taylor green. Yeah That's gonna be a couple for sure. Look at look at them. She's more Jack than him almost It's awesome being jacked. So chill dude Dude do you think he she pegs him? Probably dude. Dude CrossFit's in major hot water right now because one of their athletes died during a... He drowned right?

Yeah drowned during the competition and I think they were so financially in the hole for the event that they just kept going with it. And then so all the athletes are like still competing but they they're like crying on the floor, like very distraught. And then the people who aren't sad, it looks bad. And then they're talking about how like, you know, we, you know, CrossFitters, a lot of them are like super religious. They're like, we have to follow God's will.

And then so all the comments are like, so why does your sky daddy want him to die and you to win? It's just very like murky. So they were aware that this guy had drowned and they continued? He drowned during one of the first events of the weekend. So they do a weekend full of events to see who the top CrossFitter is.

But they just kept going? They kept going because I think they were so over the top invested with money. Wow. Dude, Salad Toster says we have beta posture. Shit. That's probably true. If it would have come from anyone besides Salad Tosser, I would have been, Salad Tosser I'd be upset, but this guy knows what he's talking about.

I mean, Salad Tosser comes in on a lot of streams to evaluate posture. I think I'm for sure getting more beta. I think that's a fucking alpha posture from JT right now. No way, dude. This is, dude, you're like zenned out. Yeah, this is- You look like fucking chill Buddha. I think this is alpha, this posture from JT right now. No way, dude. Dude, you're like zenned out. Yeah, this is- You look like fucking chill Buddha. I think this is alpha as hell. This is freaking zenned out.

Nantucket Buddha, dude, with the seersucker. Dude, I'm getting more beta. I went to the pediatrician today for my babies and the doctor came in and was like, hey, dad, you look, I charted your beta and you're actually getting more beta. Whoa. Yeah, last time I went there I was in the 30th percentile for beta and this time I was in the 65th. Wow. How do this time I was in the 65th. Wow, how do they chart that?

I don't know, she just looks at you. Really? And it's like just the droop of your face and like the hang dog of your energy. And those are like her words. She's like, you look defeated. She's like, you look pretty defeated. You look overwhelmed by life. Doesn't look like you're going to be able to climb out of it.

She's like, I'm putting your beta at about a 65th percentile. I was like, doc, how do you think I'm projecting? She's like, next time you come in here, I might just fully consume. And I just said, okay. That seems a little bit rude because you're going in there, it's a pediatrician for your kids, right?

It seems a little bit uncalled for, like you didn't go in there for a diagnosis. No, for sure. She said it was because she was charting my sons and then she just put Top Dog next to his name. Whoa. So she's like, your son's dominating you? For sure.

Wow. What if your daughter starts dominating you too? They kind of, the doctor kind of stuck her chest in me and was like, what are you gonna do about it? And I was like, I don't know, probably nothing. And then she just marked me up again. Yeah. Did she flinch at you?

Did she make you flinch? She made me flinch a couple of times. She almost threw her stethoscope at me, but it was a fake, it Did she flinch at you? Did she make you flinch? She made me flinch a couple times. She almost threw her stethoscope at me but it was a fake. It was a flinchy. Do you know when doctors like feel your nuts and make you cough? Yeah. One time my doctor, Dr. Van Milkshake, he was testing my nuts and then he squeezed them and he's like, say uncle, And he's like, say uncle, say uncle. And I held out for like 10 seconds. Damn. So that means you're a beta? Yeah, that was a test.

Yeah, it's a beta test. Yeah, yeah. He's like, if you last for 20, you're good. My doctor says, say you're an aunt. And I was like, like a familial aunt or like the animal aunt. She's like, no difference with you. Whoa, damn. Was there a diagnosis no difference with you. Whoa, damn. Was there diagnosis?

We hooked up. Oh, you guys did? Yeah. That's tight. In a beta way though, like I just like got massive dome and then lit her up with my tongue. Yeah, that's pretty big. Like you didn't even nut though.

I didn't nut because I was like so preoccupied with like global warming. You had a lot of thoughts going on. Concerns, yeah. Cause the world's just like heavy. So it's hard for me to nut when I think about like all the gnar because the world's just heavy. So it's hard for me to nut when I think about all the gnarly stuff that's going on. Right. So true.

Like countries not respecting other countries sovereign borders and creating conflict. And then, you know, where do batteries go? Dude, I don't even care if you're hitting it doggy. Like you could be hitting it doggy. You could be hitting it good doggy. But then you're thinking about, dude, how did that autocrat steal the election in Venezuela?

I'm not gonna nut if I'm thinking that. That bums me out hard, dude, because that also affects my Colombian family, you know? And so, yeah, that'll get me not as wooded up, and then I can't bust, but I pretend thrust. Yeah, yeah. Autocrats dilute jizz. Definitely. Big time diluters.

Polluters, diluters. Polluters, diluters. What's the diagnosis for- Don't get a convoluted. Or the prescription to become not beta that your doctor gave you. Is it like you gotta get socked in the shoulder by buddies every once in a while

or just ride in the backseat of cars? She said I'm way past the treatment phase and that it's just a terminal diagnose at this point. Damn dude. She just said, you know, make your arrangements. Yeah, she's like here, eat this porridge. Yeah, I'm sticking to soft food for the rest of it. Beta Z porridge, yeah.

Dude, one time. I was like, can I still have steak once in a while? She's like, you don't have the mandible strength. Dude, one time the doctor was checking my prostate, but he just donkey punched my ass. Really? Yeah. Damn dude.

Did you dolphin when he did it, dude? Did you go eee? You dolphin, dude? Yeah, I did. Remember when your buddy knew all the terms back in middle school? He's like the dolphin, the donkey punch, the rusty trot bone. Dads used to tell me that stuff.

Dads would be like, you fruit bowlin' people? I was like, what's that? He's like, it's when you stick your dick and balls between your legs. I was like, are you a genius? It's exactly. It's like, dude, I was like, you're fine. It's like, you're a CPA, dude. Like it's like a guy with a light just leading you through a cave. All right, we got to talk about it. We've been circling this for a while. Chad, I think you were first one on it. Presumed

innocent. Just a fantastic, fantastic piece of television. First off, I want to pay homage to Jake Gyllenhaal's physique. Jacked. I think that's the real winner in all of this. I mean, the guy just looks phenomenal. Even when he's wearing a sweater, I think. Good sweater game. Every time he's in every outfit, look at him.

Even when he's getting arrested, he just looks fantastic. And I think we really need to, you know. Your good style. Take note of that. And capitalized, David Kelly does a good job of this because I'm watching one of his other shows. He's good at being like, this guy's a star, but there's something weird about him.

Let's lock into that. Gyllenhaal is captivating, charismatic, but he's got a creepy intensity. Big time. And the show really floats back and forth between those two energies. And Gyllenhaal loves that. He's an actor for the silver screen, but he's coming over here

doing a limited series, still prestige role, but the guy has to have a weird intensity to any character that he does. Like even his Marvel character. His good stuff. His good stuff has that. Totally. I think this is his definitive role.

I think it's perfect for him, like acting and stuff. Like this is the guy that you want for this, for sure. Totally comfortable. Peter Sarsgaard too. He's the best part. Tommy Malta. The best part. I love that actor, dude. He's so good.

He's got that Philip Seymour Hoffman thing where they bring so much humanity to pathetic characters that it almost elevates it beyond pathetic. It's like, he's kind of the man because he so owns all those like sad edges of being a person. I thought he was the best actor in it for sure. He's got to win the awards.

He's such a good, he's so good. Dude, the bolo tie too. I love that. That was badass, but he's like, I gotta bring it. The logic of the show was a little bit suspect where you're like, none of this makes sense. Like, Jalen Hall's like, I don't want to mistrial him. Like, why don't you just take a mistrial? Exactly. You're off.

But they got to set it up that those two go head to head. One thing about Gyllenhaal, has anyone ever felt less like a dad in a show? That's true. Yeah, he was not a dad, dude. But it kind of worked for the character, but you can just look at him and be like, no, you don't have kids. No, for sure. The gal from Worst Person in have kids. No, for sure. The gal from Worst Person in the World, tough part for her. Is she the victim?

Just naked in flashbacks with her head blown up. Yeah, and they show the gruesome murder too much in the show. They do that in all these shows. I'm like, okay, I get it. Honestly, even in the courtroom, just show the jury reacting like, ooh, and then I'll understand something gruesome's on there.

Don't need to see it, dude. It's dude, it's crazy to me. HBO and all these and other prestige channels, every year there's a new hit show that's about a young pretty woman dying. And then it's just solving who killed her. And then let's repeatedly show images of her gory bashed up body.

Like True Detective, Mayor of Easttown, Sharper Objects, this one, they're all circulated around. And I'm like, I was trying to think, why do we like that so much? Cause I don't think it's additive. Like seeing her all busted up all the time, I'm like, who's that for? And then sometimes they'll show you erotic images

and then they'll end with one of her dead. I'm like, why'd you trip up all that stuff? Yeah. I'm almost 40, dude. trip up all that stuff? Yeah. Yeah. I'm almost 40, dude. Don't play with my boner like that. That's what I mean. Why are they tripping us up like that? A lot of times, though, if the victim, you know, like in this, she's tied up, but you get a nice shot of her behind.

They always, yeah. I'm like, that's kind of. So, I mean, people are into that, dude. Did did do you think that also part of it is like, remember how HBO shows always used to have like, no matter how good the show was, like Sopranos, a little bit The Wire, Game of Thrones the most, they would be having dialogue in the front

and then hot chicks in the back with their boobs out. And then they caught a lot of heat for that. And people were like, why are you just objectifying women and putting all this gratuitous sex in there? Then I think what they did was like, all right, we can't just show boobs anymore because people know why we're doing it. They're like, but if we make the girl dead,

no one can accuse us of doing it for erotic purposes, but we still get that same imagery out there. Wow. Like I think they know somewhere on their data that like doesn't matter post-mortem, pre-mortem. If there's nude chicks, people are gonna watch. Totally. How messed up is that?

Very messed up. Also it's like we need to get exposition out in heavy dialogue scenes, let's do it with boobs out. But even if they're dead. It's messed up. You don't like it. No, I'm not into that. You don't like it.

What? The dead people stuff. No, I dig it. You like them, so it's for you then. Yeah. You're the guy. I'm the guy. Of the three of us, one of us had to be the guy.

Yeah, you guys are talking about, I'm like dude, I love all this stuff. But why, why do you like it? Dude, you get me, I get like a tornado of mixed feelings and I'm just so confused in my head. You like to be all mucked up like that. I appreciate your honesty. I'm just horny, I'm horny, I'm just frigging,

you know, just really horny. Do you think it's from porn? Uh, or you think no it was there before then it's like dinosaur. I've had that since I was a kid Yeah, wow. Yeah, dude, that's you you're just stepping up for a lot of people right now Yeah, I mean i'm trying to think of some movies back in the day You know where you really saw some gruesome stuff, you know 13 ghosts. Well, yeah 13 ghosts That that ghost had big boobs. Yeah that that horny naked chick who got stabbed a bunch of times. And you know, just watching that. You do all the scream movies, all the friggin, I know what you did last summer.

It's like, I know what I did last summer. I cranked my hog. DiPalma talks about that. He's like- DiPalma loved it. That's true. Where he'd come up with creative ways to kill specifically women. Like in Carrie, he's like, they wanted her to die with a heart attack. And that's when I came up with the knives. Yeah. Knives flying into a lady's body.

It's insane. But he had reason for it. His dad was a doctor and he went to like the morgue a lot as like a kid and got all of his stuff tripped up. Do you think, you know, like our culture is so, the idea of death, it's just not in our everyday life. In like India, you'll see dead bodies on the street, stuff like that.

We cover our dead, we're ashamed of it. Yeah, how do you think our relation, if we saw dead people more often, if it was more a part of our lives, how do you think you'd feel about death? Do you think you'd be more relaxed about it? Do you think you'd be kind of like more accepting of it? You'd see it as more of kind of like,

oh, this is just the circle of life. Like it's just all coming and going, coming with a you. It's a good question. I mean, I guess like there's an idea of like, I don't know if numbness is the right word, but if you like, you'd be like less shocked by it, I guess like it'd be. Yeah.

I guess it's how it's presented in itself. I think it'd be a good thing. I think I'd make it count more. Yeah. I think I'd be more urgent in my day-to-day life. Yeah, you'd see how flimsy life is. Yeah, and you know that it was coming for you. I think we pushed it out of our reality most days.

But if you saw it, you'd be like, you know what, I'm not gonna wait to take that vacation. I'm not gonna wait to quit that job. I'm not gonna wait to ask that girl out. Because that could be me tomorrow. What's more valuable, money or life? If I was gonna tell you that you could have $10 billion, but tomorrow you're gonna die. Would you take the money? Yes Really money's the best. Yeah smart. See I was trying to trick you guys

A lot of people would take time mistake imagine dying with ten million boat ten billion, but I'd be so chill Yeah, okay you guys pass the test because I was to say both of you are loser cuck betas. If you would have said you want it to take the time. No, always take the money. Exactly, bro. That's exactly right. It's always about the day. Exactly right.

Jake, what would you do? That took too long, you're dead. Yep, all right, gone. Beta. You can't sell cars. Bitch, you just died. You just died broke. But yeah, Presumed Innocent,

cool thing about Presumed Innocent, which I like that Apple does, is that they, episodes came out week to week. So it's the classic thing of, you know, I started three episodes, I started watching when it was three episodes in. So I believe it was eight episodes. Yeah.

So I had to wait each week. They call that edging a show. So instead of binging it, you were edging it. And just getting in there and be like, ooh, I almost know where it's at. I mean, wait a week. And this edged big time. And also, you know, it was causing some tension

in my relationship because my girlfriend had a pretty fixed idea of who it was. And I was a little bit more like, I don't know, it was causing some tension in my relationship because my girlfriend had a pretty fixed idea of who it was and I was a little bit more like, I don't know babe, not just, I'm just not feeling that. And she would get really pissed. And she'd be like, it's this person, it's this person. I'd be like, I don't know babe, I don't think so. And she's like, who do you think it is?

I'm like, I'm agnostic. Right. Right. I mean, dude, it's like, who do you think it is? I'm like, I'm agnostic. Right. Right. I mean, dude, it's tough. It tried your relationship, but dude, how nice is it to have a show with your freaking dank GF, dude? Oh, dude. Oh, dude, that Presumed Innocent

might be the all time number one dank couple show. For sure. Are we giving it the DCS award? I think so. It's a great show, dude, for your cigo. It's like, whodunits are the best. Cause then, like you just said, it can lead to arguments, but at least that's passion. Yeah, passion. And dude, it's trampy sex all over it,

which is always very exciting. And it gets gnarly where the chick he's mistressing with is like, am I better than your wife? And then Jilindal's character is hilarious because every time his wife asks about it, she's like, what was the sex like with her? He always tells the truth and you're always like, dude, don't do that. He's always always like she set my life on fire i'd felt dead with you for so long and then when she and me touched it's like i finally felt like a person again i'm like dog don't say that yeah dude it's like you're lying about everything else in your life dude you should continue that right now dude he's the worst guy in the world in the show you kind of wanted to go to jail by the end you of the year, you're like,

don't matter if he killed anybody, he belongs in jail. He'd be in trial and be like, I loved her. She made me rock hard, and she made me bust harder than anyone. Yeah, he literally just starts. And everyone has his back. Like his lawyer mentor guy, who he betrays 3,600 times in the show.

Every time he betrays him, he's like, oh. he's like, Rusty, you never told me that. I'm like, he hasn't told you anything. Yeah, yeah. I'll, serious question though. What do you guys think of Barb? The wife? I mean, I don't want to give away anything, but like, her acting.

It's just the character. The character was hard to believe at points because she was so loyal to the fam. You know, you were like, what? But I thought for the part she had the actress did a good job but her part was like not as fun as yeah the Jill she had to kind of be the suffering wife which is never I like that they gave her like escapade at the bar they gave her that which was cool I like that that guy was like gigantic that guy was cool yeah he was cool yeah I'd get fucked by that guy same He's into art did buff dudes who do art. Well lock it down like a random piercing. Yeah

Yeah, dude, you're gonna get pierced any part of your body. What would you pierce nipple penis? Yeah same. I'd go Jacob's ladder Two notches That's the only rungs I could get. Can you imagine going to a piercing shop and be like, I want you to pierce my cock. Yeah, it should be like buying a gun. They should make you wait 21 days. I could walk in today to a piercing store and be like,

hey man, can you pierce my penis? I want eight notches on my little tiny dick. Yeah, and he's like, oh like, okay and you pull your pants down What do you get through the pee hole, so you just go straight through I don't know dude You're straight through there might be a medical anomaly, dude It might be a medical anomaly, dude. You just walk out straight through. Straight through, right? That's how it goes.

Just like a boy. Dude, I got a bar through my dick. Sorry, sorry to be crude, dude. No, we're doing it. Sure. Yeah, I saw Twisters cream jeans. I didn't see it. I wanted to see it. I mean, I was, I wanted to see it.

I mean, it's corny as hell, but it's a good summer flick. Twisters? Yeah. Oh, I'm down. Dude, Glen Powell, dude. That guy's just beasting it right now. I love Glen Powell. He is beasting it.

He's jacked. I don't know. I think he's a little bit, you know what? I don't like watching him and I shouldn't, it's my fault for consuming it. I don't like watching him, and it's my fault for consuming it, I don't like watching him do promotional stuff. He looks like he's trying a little bit hard, and I don't know, something about it feels- Are you talking about him at the Texas Longhorns game?

Yeah, stuff like that, or he was singing unwritten with people at the carpet event. I saw that, that was cringy, that was very cringy. Yeah, but he didn't put that out there, so it's not his fault, but I'm like, I don't know, he's so corporate. Yeah. There's something very packaged about him. I think he'll learn though. I think maybe it's all big rush for him so he's kind of like

in the thick of it but I think he'll have his maconisance where he's like no you know I've been living in Austin and you know it's all about you know living. Yep. He'll do something, he'll do his Dallas Buyers club. I've been living in Austin and it's all about living. Yep, great. He'll do something, he'll do his Dallas Buyers club. Yeah, Glen Powell with AIDS, dude? That'd be powerful. Dude, still find a way to be jacked. Go into your head, gotta pick Austin Butler

or Glen Powell, go. Austin Butler. Austin B. Yeah, he's good. He's my guy. You saw him in person, right? I did, dude, he's hot. Dude, literally, like, dude, my wife, both of us were like, both of us did a double take.

We were walking by that hip ass restaurant all time on Hillhurst, freaking call it all paycheck, dude, expensive, but hippest restaurant you've ever been to. What are they charging for eggs? Oh, so the breakfast burrito is $21. Whoa. For a burrito. It's got filet mignon in it? No, just eggs. I think if you want bacon, bacon gets you up to 21.

If you do know bacon, it's like 18. But it's all the hippest, coolest people you've ever seen. Everyone's just looking at each other. But Austin Butler just sitting out there with like a bomber jacket on, looked like he just stepped off the set of fricking, you know, the raspberry scones, delicious Jake. When you go into a place like all time,

a fancy eatery in Los Feliz, a hip part of the world, how do you think you're measuring out attractiveness wise? Bottom, bottom, dude. Now is that empowering though, to be like, I'm at the bottom, so I'm an uphill fighter and I'm just gonna come out scrapping. Or are you more like, don't look at me, I'll get out of here without bothering you. I'm honest. I got to right now. I always get things to go whenever I go there one I don't want the vibe. I don't want to sit down. It's a little loud you bring the dog rather

I live close by I'd rather just walk back to the house That's part of it But too I don't want to be in that scene and then you wait in that line outside no chance, bro No chance not gonna catch me catch me friggin waiting in that line dude you know what lions are for dude betas but you saw Austin B dude he was so hot both of us did a double take walking the dog we both caught each other double taking dude that's he was cool double take is sick. I do love dominoes huge anus Dominoes is fucking dank. But like do you when you guys see a pretty girl what goes through your head?

Hope she's happy. I'd love to see that. I'd like to see I'd like to see knives fly into her in the third act of a film Oh, yeah, I like to picture her hogtied. Yeah, hogtied dead in a murder mystery, dude. Let's solve it. So you guys both go into fantasy, but is there any urge in reality to make contact? Or no, it's just purely phantasmagoric viewership? Yeah, I like to live in my dome.

Yeah. I don't engage. Yeah, keep it in the cranium. Yeah, because usually when you engage, you're like, now it's tough for me to picture you, hogtied, having been just brutally, you know, died of blunt force trauma to the head. That's what they say is a good call. If you've ever been kidnapped or there's any serial killer, say your name, humanize yourself. Has that worked? I think they usually get killed still, at least in the movies I've watched. At least in the movies I've watched.

But just having a plan. Gotta have a plan. There's comfort in a plan. Just don't go in parking garages alone, dude, or, you know, raves in Seattle. Every time you see someone do it, they end up killed. Yeah, probably. Yeah. I don't know if it's ever worked. This is just stuff I've heard, dude.

This is what I read in that book. Remember I got bought you that book when we moved off that street, St. Andrews, when we were terrified of that one apartment. Yeah, I was like, I was terrified. You weren't scared. Yeah, I wasn't as good Greg We're ready to move in I got nervous that I was gonna get accosted I thought you were gonna get ganked dude, but the parking situation would have been in a bad call So in hindsight, it was the great call that apartment was sick though It was sick and it was funny like JT was afraid to live there and was all girls that live there before it was so funny

Did well though cuz it was all girls that lived there before. It was so funny, dude. Well, no, because it was like, yeah. Why were you afraid to live there? It was just on a rough street. And I was driving a nice car at the time. And what I didn't like about it was that I was used to living in apartment buildings where there was like the front door there and then you had your apartment front door.

This place, the door was like just main street access. Like anyone could just walk up and walk in. And I was like, I just felt a little vulnerable with it. So I was like, you know, it wasn't even that I knew it was going to happen. I just knew I'd be freaking out about it all the time. So I was like, we got to move. But when I called the landlord to get my deposit back, I'm like, Hey man, I was just honest. I was like, dude, uh, I'm like afraid to live there. I'm afraid like someone's gonna rob me or somebody goes, John, girls live there. And he was right, it was three pretty girls.

So it was a little bit narcissistic of me to be like, something's gonna happen to me, I'm special. Yeah, I think that sometimes too though. I'm like, like if my wife's out of town or like I'm alone, I'm like, someone's gonna get me. It, you know, it's funny though. If your wife is home, you don't have it. I don't have it if my wife and kids are home,

but if they're gone and I'm home alone, suddenly I'm like, someone might try to hurt me. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. It's like, I'm worried about someone. And if no one else is there, I'm worried about me. Like what, no serial killer wants some fricking corny white dude like me, like a 35. No, they don't want you. No one wants me.

Serial killer is like, I don't want to waste the arm action on stabbing. No, I'm not worth killing, dude. You know? No. I wouldn't give you anything cool. It'd be tough to hog time me. I don't have good flexibility. Totally sad. No flexibility. And honestly, dude, like he'd start making fun of me or what he's into or like-

Oh, he would rip you to shreds. Yeah. Then we kissed, dude. Dude, you're getting hogtied and you're like, bro, I have sciatica. Yeah, I have sciatica. Hey, watch my nerve, dude. Careful, dude. I got sciatica.

And my chiropractor. Yeah, I got sciatica. Honestly dude, you probably should just get rid of me, dude. When you get killed, you have like a painful or something. Ah, because of sciatica. Yeah, that's actually the way to survive a serial killer is to just be such a bummer. Yeah you probably should kill me I'm fucking worthless anyways. Yeah yeah. Do you kill me? No one will even miss me dude they'll do your

list of how many people you killed they won't even count me. Dude what insect are you gonna put in my mouth once you get me dude? A freaking moth or are you gonna go with the dragonfly? I feel bad for the moth dude. Just don't even put the moth in my mouth dude I'm over it. It's a waste of a' moth or are you gonna go with a dragonfly? I feel bad for the moth, dude. Yeah, just don't even put the moth in my mouth, dude. I'm over it. It's a waste of a good moth, dude. Honestly, dude, should we watch Band of Brothers before you gank me, dude? That'd be cool, dude.

Dude, do you want me to clean the place before you kill me? Yeah. I can help you out with something. I mean, I'd kind of correct him. I like to mansplain stuff. I'd be like, dude, honestly, you need to put like, I've watched Breaking Bad. They're gonna get your fingerprints

if you don't put lime juice on that, dude. Do you have lime juice? Dude, Captain Dom said he'd kidnap you and tie you up so you could have a nice in-and-out meal. Dude, I'm down. You don't even have to dude. Just let me get in and out. That's tight, dude. Yeah, dude, we got someone named Skeletal Schlong in here. Whoa. That's pretty tight. It's a beautiful way to say boner.

Oh, I got Strider on too, that's sick. Friggin' what up? What's, or do you wanna say Anon? What's, or say your name. Yeah, probably Anon. It's a real weird story. I never found, I thought, I never thought I'd find myself in this situation.

Do you love Anon? So, the other couple weeks ago now, wife was out of town. I got a little toddler that goes to bed at seven, and you know, dad's solo. She gets weird after about 10 o'clock. And started looking around on Reddit and found a Hot Wife subreddit. Oh wait, say that again?

A Hot Wife subreddit. Okay. Like the first swingers on shit. Hot Wife subreddit, okay. And I clicked in it and to my shock, one of the first ones on there was a picture of the girl I lost my virginity to in high school and, uh, click on the name and look through other posts and it's all like,

you want to bang my wife. I want to bang my wife's sisters who wants to join in feet pics like it gets super bizarre but it's all the same girl it's all the same girl yeah it's all I think her husband. And we did it in high school and just after college for a few years and actually right before they got together. And you know, then 10 plus years now at least. But it became very apparent that like, there's videos, all kinds of videos, but the videos are all like secret cameras. Like there's no consensual looking at the camera or anything like that. And it's like, it clear he's doing this secretly and it's just him that knows it.

And it just gave me the creeps. And I just want to get your guys read on it. Cause I'm, I'm obviously like a little emotionally involved. You're kind of always kind of interested in the girl. You lose your virginity to a little bit, I think. Um, and it seems like they're in a perfectly good marriage for the most part. You know, I, you know, just, just sort of wholesome Instagram family updates and I don't want to go detonate a marriage by saying something like that. And I kind of wouldn't want to do it. I wouldn't want myself or my family to get involved and have some like

kind of like, you know, like, you know, like, you know, like, you know, like, you know, like, you know, like, you know, like, you know, like, you know, like, you know, like, you know,

like, you know, like, you know, like, you know, like, you know, like, you know, like, you know, like, you know, like, you know, a marriage by saying something like that. And I kind of wouldn't want to do it. I wouldn't want myself or my family to get involved and have some like enemy. But it also just seems kind of morally messed up to be doing this without anybody knowing and be perving on your wife's sisters. And I don't know, it all just seemed really, really weird. You know what, dude? I think it's whack you involved us in this. Yeah, damn dude.

I think that was messed up of you, dude. Ha ha ha, shit dude. You know what? You should have done the right thing. You should have looked at this and never said another word about it to anyone and carried it to your grave. Or taken action on your own.

But the fact that you brought us into this while we're on a publicly facing platform is so Bush league of you, dude. Shit, man. I don't think that was chill at all. I mean, what that guy's doing is definitely un-chill. Yeah, bad, dude. But yeah, thanks for, yeah, calling.

Listen to him laugh, dude. He knows what he did. Did you crank it to it? Just once. Yeah, I mean, this guy just wants us to see him be weird. Yep. Everyone has the see him be weird. Yep. So you don't have the right to be weird. So you crank to it.

Where's that line? I just post post crank reflection was was very sad and dark. That'd be contemplating. Yeah, man. I would just say how about get your wife some flowers? Let's focus on that. Yep. You know, how do we correct your scenario? You're going to lay off the porn for a while. You're going to give flowers to your wife. You're going to take her on a great date. You're going to commit to her for the rest of your life.

And you're going to be there come hell or high water, no matter what goes down, because that's your person. Yep. Absolutely. that's great advice. Did you should watch Presumed Innocent if you haven't with your wife? And you know, have you watched it yet? Yeah, we're up to date, it was great. Nice, what'd you think of the hogtied victim? Call me by surprise at the end.

I did not think that's what was gonna happen, no spoilers, but had me guess him. It's a good twist. Yep, it was a good twist, twist on a twist. And then maybe you guys should watch like something wholesome, like The Good Place. Yeah, or Only Murders in the Building. That show was good.

Yeah. A very fun whodunit. I haven't watched Only Murders in the Building. It's a great show, you should watch it. You and your dank GF would love it, dude. Shwing. Great couple show Yeah

Yeah, I'd say a stick to p-hub Yeah, stick to the hub, dude, you know Don't go on these subreddits pretend the lap doobings didn't exist. No secret cameras. No, yeah, dude It's just all bad. Yeah, write a script. Yeah Yeah, dude, it's just all bad. Yeah, write a script. Yeah. Yeah, bake a pie. Dude, the laugh on this, dude.

Yeah. What's your name, man? John. All right, good talking to you, man. All right, love you, bro. Thanks for the advice. Let it bro. That was exciting. You know, I do have to say, from a storytelling thing, he set it up like it was going to be

his wife on The Hot Wife. That's what I thought too. I think he should change the way he tells the story a little bit. Or not tell the story anymore. Yeah, don't tell that. Like you said, man, why are you involving me in this dude? People used to see stuff like that and just take it to the grave and now you know. You call into SoCal's most popular podcast. Yeah, with a bunch of chillers. Yeah, we're trying to hang out dude. Post up. We got great people in the chat. We got dark tinkle in here. Yeah, dude. We got mom lamb

You got skeletal schlong? Yeah, and in I think it's mom limbs don't actually it's mom limbs birthday. Happy birthday mom. Happy birthday mom lamb That's dark stuff dude, yeah Yeah, the crank will take you to the deepest darkest places of the net and see that and that's a lot yeah anything new dude you know Some people think even Victorian prudence around sex was just actually a way to eroticize everything. So by making everything covered and faux pas,

it was actually making us all think about sex all the time. I mean, think about, today we're just seeing butts, you go on the internet, there about, think about, you know, today we're just seeing butts every, you know, you go on the, on the internet, you, you, there's just butts everywhere. But imagine how much cooler it'd be if everything was covered up all the time. And then you do start getting intimate and you see a butt. Much better. Yeah. Diminishing return, law of diminishing returns, you know. I have to take exception to this stinky linky in the, in the chat.

You're saying y'all think married people don't look at porn, LOL. I think you're treating us like prudes, when in reality we're all very comfortable with anybody looking at porn. It was the personal nature of it and the unethical slant that was simultaneously eroticizing him that made us uncomfortable.

I think even you with your world of experience can appreciate that. Yeah, Stinky linky 420. Were you not paying close attention to what was said? Were you perhaps shacking a bowl or maybe using your grinder so you couldn't listen to what we just heard? Did you? Yeah, dude. How about you rip a bowl and open your dump? Thanks, dude.

Yeah, dude. See, people jump to being righteous so much. You felt that moment of being like, oh, I can be righteous right now. Yeah, I can be beyond the moment. People are always like, I'm above the moment. Like you guys are freaking out about this. I don't freak out about anything, dude. Like, dude, there's people who like a nuke will go off and they're like, dude, nukes

have gone off before. Exactly, bro. Nagasaki, do you not remember that? I'm like, do you? That was a big deal. It was really bad. It killed tons of people and had a huge, outlasting effect that's still being felt. Oh, dude, let's just freak out

because the world's on fire. Dude, let's go, dude. I think we have someone on the line. Hey, what's up? What up, dude? How you living? I'm good, how are you guys? Good. Are you on Reddit? Uh, I'm not on Reddit. No. Good. Sick. So what's good, dude?

Bro, I got a, I got a pretty serious cue, but also shout out to Tristan. When I was choosing my college a couple of years back, I shot you a DM and you helped me out because we actually go to the same college. Oh, you sent Clara, dude? Yeah, dude, shout out Swig Hall. Oh, you're in Swig? I was, yeah, like last year. I'm a junior now.

Where are you living now? I was just in this house called Deck and then it was on Bellamy and now I'm in this house called Soccer. You're in Soccer? Dude, I lived in Soccer. Dude, no way. I have a single upstairs.

Yeah, I lived in the outhouse, dude. Oh, that's fire. Yeah, that was sick. Dude, I could listen to you guys talk about this all day. I love this. I'm just imagining all these places, dude. Are those the real names or are those nicknames for places like swig halls Yeah, no, no pulls or no, dude

It's I mean both the name and nickname. Let's go Yeah, and also there's like g-spot, which is a girl's house. This is pretty chill Three palms has tough to find though cool chicks. Look at doesn't show up on GPS. Where's you smell maps? Cool chicks. Look at, doesn't show up on GPS. Where is GPS? It's not on Maps. Oh, they do. They do what?

You can't get it. Yeah. But, dude, I got a pretty intense cue. So it's actually about, I got beef with this older guy that I got to school with. Cause when I was back at school, it was like finals week and he was all done with, he was all done with school. So he was like, yo, can I borrow your mixing board? Cause like I dabble in DJing a little bit.

I love house music. Classic. And I was like, dude, yeah, totally take my board. Because he was like, I just want to rip and practice. I'm like, totally. And then I got caught up with school and ended up, I'm from Denver, so I flew back to the 303. And he kept my board and didn't really

tell me that he had it before I left. And I've been trying to have him ship it out because I'm going abroad in the fall. And dude, he keeps on fading me. He's not sending it back out. And like I want my board because like, you know, it's like a part of me. And so I was wondering like, I've been texting him. I called him once and he's like not really giving it back. So like, how should I approach this situation?

Because like he is my boy and I just think he's like kind of dropping the ball because he's busy but like you know I really want my board back so dude honestly this is a serious situation give me his Instagram I'll DM him tell him to give the board back all right I'll throw you a DM with his handle because dude, it's making me mad. All my boys are gone because I'm back at home for the summer and they're all doing their own thing. And nothing's better than just listening to some house music

and I need my board back. Chad, your decision to get involved in this one, I think is right. And it just got me jacked up. Can we take it next level and will you three way call this dude right now? Oh, and we'll see if we can get a straight answer out of him. Cause I do think public ridicule is a big time motivator. Yeah.

Shame dude. Yeah. I mean, he's taking your creativity right now. It's easy enough to go to FedEx. You could even offer to pay the shipping dude and he should pay you back, you know, promise to pay you back those bones, could even offer to pay the shipping, dude, and he should pay you back, promise to pay you back those bones,

but you do a little legwork for him, but let's get this guy on the horn, dude. Yeah, dude. He's taking away your creative expression. That's not shit. How do I do this? Who goes to your without? You just add call on your phone,

and then when you get him on the horn, you just hit merge. Or you can even hit merge while it's ringing, so we can listen for that part. Good call. What were you saying, Strider? I mean, is it even a trip? I imagine you're going abroad to Europe. Like is it even a trip? Yeah, I'm going to Madrid. Exactly, dude. I knew it. So like, are you even in Spain if you're not able to spin? Dude, that's what I'm saying. Exactly. Like dude, it should be a part of me when I'm out there, like at all times. Dude, that's all they do in Europe

is they play deep house music and then they just dance. And you're a hop, skip, and a jump from Ibiza. Yeah, you better go to Ibiza. I already planned my Ibiza trip already. I'm closing for closing weekend. Are you gonna wear white jeans? You better wear white jeans, dude. Dude, I was thinking a pair of white linen pants

Did you maybe see Peggy goo out there, oh yeah, dude, okay some Peggy love it Dude it's not worried. It's not allowing me to add him to the call, but he might be crafting well I don't I don't think you've tried the right way. You wouldn't be able to hear us as you're calling. Take your time. Do you have an iPhone? I do. I'm going to the add button, but when I click call, it's just not going through. I don't know. Maybe I'll just have Chad reach out to him. I don't know. What's his number? I'll call him. Good. I'm jealous. I'm jealous of where you're at in life right now. I hope you really cherish these moments.

Yeah, you're going abroad to Madrid and then you're going to come back to Santa Clara. Best school ever. How's the raging scene out there? I heard the school's kind of clamped down on things. Dude, you have no idea. It's like, so the cops there are the highest paid police officers in the country. They get paid almost like 200 Gs a year.

And they're like, yeah, dude, they're all over it. And the new superintendent or whatever, she's trying to clamp down Greek life. She's like negative on that. I actually had an incident with my fake ID at school where I left my wallet at the gym and the campus security went through my wallet and found my fake ID and then-

What? I got grilled about it and I had to go to this whole Dean meeting and they were like- Are you kidding me? And I had to write an essay. What? No, dude. I know. What is going on there? I don't

know but it's still fun. Oh my god that's so lame. Yeah I've heard that you know not to be braggy but I think I was kind of into golden era there for partying because it seems like they really they bought up part of Bellamy Street and yeah well actually Bellamy is pretty Bellamy's pretty intact still yeah but Bellamy's pretty intact still but yeah dude like it's just like I mean it's a lot of fun and I met my girlfriend there which which is pretty awesome. She's the best. So, um, yeah, it's good vibes, but Yeah, I can't merge calls on google voice Um, hey dude, we're gonna have to call him separate

Oh, no worries. Well, dude, dude, thank you guys so much for the I mean like He's nice Of course, man. This is a big deal. We're gonna get you that board back. What what the What's your name? Did he say his name? Oh, no, i'm i'm greg greg We got to get your dj board back to greg dude is what we're gonna say. Let's go. We're on it Thank you. Appreciate you, bro. I'll catch you. Have a great day. Later. All right, let's do this We got to get greg his board back dude. Yes Here we go Have a great day. Later, dude. All right, let's do this. We gotta get Greg's board back, dude. Yes.

Here we go. All right, who's gonna? I got this. All right. Your call has been forwarded to an automatic voice message system. At the tone, please record your message. When you have finished recording, you may hang up or press one for more options. Hey, what up, dude?

Give Greg his DJ board back. Seriously. For real. Do it dude. Yeah. Greg, if you're listening still, give us an update. DM too, we want to hit this guy from all angles. Yeah dude. You know? We let the voice. We let the vicious voicemail, dude. Yeah, dude. Yeah, let him know what's up. We let him know. We let him know. And actually DM him, get Dark Tinkle to DM him too.

Yeah. What if, now hear me out, this is just kind of Devil's Advocate. What if Greg made some like generational good beats on that thing though? Like what if he's the next Maggie Rogers, dude? Whoa, wait the guy's got it waters. Yeah That's a big one, yeah Wow, dude, that's scary. I'll text my wife. Let me call my girlfriend. I'm gonna call Greg Still shaking. It's still shaking. Hey, honey, did you feel that?

Uh-uh. You guys okay? Dude, that's like death, like you were saying, Chad, like it just brings- That was pretty intense. Brings everything back to normal. Yeah. I'm looking at the doggy cam. My one, hey, did you feel that earthquake? That was massive. How sunny. Are you in the building?

Is the credenza okay? Dude, I just called my wife. She said the credenza is fine. Good. That was a good one, dude. Dude. That was. Holy schnikes. That might be the biggest one I have felt since I moved to LA. Yeah. Yeah. That was wild. I didn't even feel... There was one like... We were up a little bit too, so we got some good rock and roll to it. Yeah. They say it's better to be up a couple floors. Like there's ideal floors to be on. But what if there's only one floor? One floor is fine. I think it's like a three-story building is better than a two- floor? One floor is fine. I think it's like Like a three-story buildings better than a two-story one stories like obviously normal Then it's like you go for San Jose is big about this Like you got to look into San Jose like because they're on like right on the San Andreas fall line They have like some rules about buildings

Wait, so this was a 4.7 in South Pasadena Yeah, that's why we felt it so much because that's literally like it's like right here Yeah, that's like two miles away from here. So Joe plopped his penis Joe's in Pasadena plopping out his penis right now Classic then didn't I just watch San Andreas too. Whoa Yeah, do you think you kind of like manifested that earthquake? I think so Chad you gotta stop doing that dude. I know you watch natural disaster stuff and then all of a sudden it's going down I'm a master manifester, dude. Oh, i'm just waiting for that moment to rescue You know my gf just swoop her up pick up the pup and just be like I got you guys. I have water and shit Dude, but what about everybody else? No, it's all about me. Dude, that's so selfish.

No, main character type shit, bro. I love that. But there's a lot of movies happening in the Cineplex. Dude, what do you want me to do? You want me to just watch Van Wilder on repeat? Yeah, why not? It's good. It's a good movie.

It's about friendship, which is nice. Sometimes I need some excitement in my life, you know? And like I'm on that main character type shit, you know? Dude, you know what I did is, you know how you have like an earthquake survival kit and stuff like that? Like a little go bag? I keep mine at Chad's house, just in case.

I'm like, dude, yeah, babe, don't worry all over extra toilet paper, you know, canned food. Dude, if you get stuck in traffic, it's gonna take you at least an hour to get there. I know, but the thing is like, even if I do, I deserve to go down, at least Chad will have my gear that he can live on.

What are you gonna do? Cut across, that's super generosity. Are you gonna cut across fountain? Definitely take fountain, it's the only way. You kidding me, I'm not taking Sunset or Hollywood. No chance, it's a whole thing to fountain. Do you guys ever bone during an earthquake? Always, dude.

Oh, dude, it helps so much. That's the best time for Mormons to bone is during an earthquake, dude. Quick, babe, mount up. Yeah. Start soaking, dude, and just let God, because that's God telling you. That's God telling you to start porking.

Dude, King Bach already has a tweet with an image for the earthquake. Let's see. Unreal. Where? Right there, dude. This guy's unreal, dude. Oh my God, dude.

Or is this an old pose? But dude, if he's- No, dude. What a legend. Oh, that was Or is this an old post? But dude, if he's... What a legend. Oh, that was him during the earthquake. But I ain't no bitch. Keep that shit rocking, my... Wow. I love that dude. You're still going.

That's a long earthquake. But I ain't no bitch. Keep that shit rocking, my boy. Keep it rocking, my boy. What a content king, dude. Total content king, dude. Mother nature blending with freaking creative content. Insane. Wait, I know why that earthquake happened. Dude, how sick was it that we got the earthquake on the pod? Let's go, dude.

Apparently, the cameras were shaking, dude. Jake, clip it up. Yeah, Jake, clip it up and post it. We need to be on King Box level. Dude, you guys tweet about it yet? So chill, dude. Joe, dude, did you let your nuts and dong hit the floor? Yeah, sorry about that.

Damn, dude. Be careful that. Damn dude. Be careful next time dude, keep those things harnessed. I didn't mean to shake the earth. Yeah, you shook the entire southland dude. Yeah, sorry about that. Well keep your fat dick holstered next time dude, some of us don't want to be rocking back and forth all right well yeah i'll be careful but it might happen again i don't know all right well glad you're safe just give us a heads up dude next time you pull your

penis out yeah i shall text the group all right thanks thanks dude good of him to be honest though that's he took responsibility like a man. Do you think Joe is going back to bed right now? Did he sound awake to you? He sounded like he was, you know, dealing with the carnage of what he wrought. Yep.

You know with hoses, you have to, you can get those things to like roll them up. Yeah. That's what he's probably doing right now. Yeah, he has. Make like a squeaky sound. Just, rrr, rrr, rrr, rrr. Good call. Howdy. Hey, how's what he's probably doing right now. Yeah, he squeaky sounds Good call Howdy

Hey, how's it going? Good. How are you? Chilling in between meetings. What are you guys up to? What kind of meetings? Nerd ones the best call dude Just we what do you meet like in a bathroom stall flip a nerd upside down swirl him and then bounce No, man, I'm a I'm a consultant for a healthcare company. So I'm just Chilling at home in my office and sick talking to nerds all day. No What's what's new in the healthcare world? Lot of AI stuff. Well a

Topic is AI gonna tell us we're beta? I mean if the algorithm's set up right, it's gonna know you guys are alphas. Let's go. Thank you. Let's go. Drop the transcript in, identify the alphas, and you got three right here. That's so kind, man. Thank you. You can you can call anytime

So what's ailing you dude man, I've got a I've got kind of a bro code question so From like a pretty small town in Kentucky and there's 14 of us and we've been friends forever. Like our newest friend is from fifth grade. And a couple of months ago, my best friend got married down in Marco Island at a really nice resort down there. And it was like a super fast turnaround time from engagement to wedding.

And there was a couple of guys that wanted to go and they couldn't afford it. So my wife and I decided we would rent a house across the street from the resort so that they could afford to go. And I just told them both, just give us 400 bucks each and then we'll get the house for four nights. I'll pay for the car and all the food and all the booze and everything. And so they were all about it. So we went ahead and booked it. Good deal. Yeah. And then, so one guy paid me before we even got down there.

And the other one, he hasn't mentioned it at all. And you know, 400 bucks is not like that big of a deal. But what is kind of what has me calling in is he has been posting like this pretty lavish lifestyle lately. So he drives all the way up here to where I live which is like a little over an hour away and he gets a hundred dollar haircut at the same place I get my haircut and he has like a new Beamer and Oakley's and this country club membership. And yeah, he's like, he's just throwing it all over Instagram and

then in the group chat about like all this stuff he's doing. And so I texted him on the side and I was like, dude, you gonna hit me back for paying for your vacay? And he's all yeah, yeah, yeah, he's like, I got you, I got you, I got you. And the other thing is when we were down there, he wasn't really skimping on spending. So like we went out to eat, he's getting the filet. If we went to the liquor store,

he's loading up everything, all the bottles. We're from Kentucky, so we're going in and he's getting Angel's Envy and Blanton's. And he's really loading up on my card. Right. So we know that he owes you the money. He's got to pay you. Yeah. So here's like two catches though. And one, I don't really need the money, but it's like the principal, right? That he said he would pay it back. And I, and like, if he was giving me like 50 bucks every couple of weeks, that

would be fine. But here's the other catch. And this is why I'm, why I'm really calling in. So last year he went through like a pretty nasty divorce, lost his kids and his kids moved like far away to like Utah or something like that. His girlfriend just dumped him and I kind of feel like he might be depressed and trying to outspend his depression. So I'm not sure like if I'm breaking bro code. Yeah, just let it go. Yeah, just let it go and just don't pay for the next one. Yeah, just let it go. Yeah, just let it go. And just don't pay for the next thing.

Yeah. Because you just made us feel horrible for the guy. Yeah. And you can afford it. So he's wrong, but you're just going to move on because you're the bigger man. And you're just not going to pay for the next thing. You're just done paying for things for him. Okay. Fair enough. I think it's the move. I think JT is right.

It's like, you know, you are right on principle, like 100%. But you know, I mean, you guys are tight bros, right? Like I think maybe you just call him and talk to him not to get your money back. or maybe it's a point that you make in a conversation, but maybe you reach out to them and be like, Hey bro, what's going on? Like you good with that and have like a heart to heart with them. You know what I mean? Um, might be all right. But I think don't make the, uh, thrusting the thrust of that conversation be, give me my money. Make it be like, Hey, I'm just checking in on my boy, dude, what's up? Yeah, do you think I should check in

to see if he really is depressed? Yeah, hit him with a how you living. What's up, bro, what's going on these days? How you living? Yeah, do a workout with him. That's always nice too, yeah. Do some kettlebells or do some pull-ups together. Pull-ups together leads to a cathartic

release you know like tandem pull-ups like yeah both on the bar at the same time okay yeah ideally if you could be facing each other that'd be great it's good for competition yep just okay I was thinking one of those which were over his shoulder in his ear maybe a little bit like hey yeah like how you doing yeah okay yeah I think start with how you doing. And then see where you get from there. Dude you know what too? It might be that as soon as you let it go,

the dough comes. Could see that happening. Maybe so. Could see that happening. Maybe so. Okay. Yeah I'd say relax and you know, stick it to the nerds.

Focus on the nerds. Cool. All right, guys. Thank you. All right. Good luck, brother. That was definitely the dude who's on reddit sneaking vids up Actually do one more yeah That's just it that's cool dude, what up what What up? It's good, dude. Dude, I'm chilling. I'm chilling. Just got back from the gym. Just ripped six eggs and a pound of ground beef.

Bro. Absolute beast, dude. Dude, this guy is... Alpha is fucked. Let's go, dude. Locked in, bro. Oh, dude. You know it. So, like...

But yeah. How could anything be ailing you? I don't know, dude. I got a lot of things yelling at me. TBH. Oh, dude. That was a huge curve. So what is it?

So right now, right? I just kind of got over a breakup. Maybe like a year or so ago. I actually saw you guys in, there was a Cleveland, like a week or two after the breakup. And then after at the meet and greet, I was like telling you guys about it. I think about it all the time, it was so cringy.

I was like, aw dude, girlfriend just broke up with me. And then Chad was like, dude, don't give up. And then I was like, aw. Did I remember you's what's going on what's up I remember you dude do you really I just saw you guys that uh in Boston I live in Boston now oh nice at the late show hell yeah wait quick question you don't owe one of your buddies 400 dollars do you no I don't okay okay nice but yeah over the breakup now and I downloaded Hinge probably like six months ago. I wasn't doing too well on it and then one of my boys was like yo you gotta pay for it and I was like oh alright so I started paying for it and

I noticed you can set the height on there which like opened up a whole new world for me. And I'm five six, but you know Not too not too tall. So usually like when I go on dates the girls my hands that wasn't paying for it They're like, yo, not too tall. I was like, oh Here but uh, yeah now I got I got two really lovely ladies that I'm like kind of dating right now They're both 411. They're both 26. Let's throw that out there Yeah, 411 and I'm super into both of them. I'm actually going out with one of them tonight It's like a nice restaurant and the other going to the Red Sox on Wednesday but I'm like super scared that like they're gonna

Like find out that I'm like kind of dating both of them not like dating dating but like going on dates with them right now. And I was like, wondering how I should go about that bitch. Just get out in front of it and tell them that you're not exclusive. Yeah, yeah. I mean, how many dates have you been on with each of them? Like, have you been on like more than three with each girl?

Uh, two with one of them and then just one with the other. Yeah, dude. No, bro. Yeah, you're still seeing people right now. They're probably seeing people as well. It's like you're in that phase. You know, once you guys have been a little more intimate. I mean, yeah, I mean, I think they're assuming you're dating multiple people. And if you weren't, they would I think they're assuming you're dating multiple people. And if you weren't, they would actually think you're not the coxman that they want you to be. I think they want you to be dating everyone. Yeah. Yeah.

And it's going to come to that time after a few dates. I mean, I don't know, like after you've been like seeing each other for a couple of months, that's when you hit them with a nice little line line like, I kind of like hanging out with you. I mean, I don't know. I kind of like just hanging out with you. And then you leave it at that. And then, you know, maybe she, oh, interesting. Then she's going to go tell her friends, you go,

he said, just hang out. Does that mean exclusive? Then you take, then that's the next step. So right now- You got to do the dance. Yeah, yeah, exactly. So you're in the courting, have fun. Go to the BOSOX game.

Be seeing this girl, see another girl, dude, get three. You know what I mean? Doesn't mean like... But you gotta, but here's the thing, dude. You gotta practice radical honesty. And this gentleman has an opportunity for that. Not only do you need to state where you're at in terms of exclusivity with romantic partners, you need to state it with

everyone. You need to tell cashiers at supermarkets that you're going to other supermarkets. You need to tell the people who cut your hair that they're not the only salon you visit. When you're in the gym, you need to tell them if you're working out at home sometimes. And that just gets you in the habit of keeping your moral hopper clean. Because if you're lying, you're carrying that weight into all your interactions. And the weight of that can actually make you shorter. Yeah. Yeah. A lot of people think you can't gain.

Yeah, you will lose an inch of height. You will lose an inch of height within a year and a half, two years depending on how hydrated your discs are. It's true, dude. If you're honest, you could gain up to three quarters of an inch of height from honesty. Yeah, it elongates your spine because you're free of the gravity of deception. It's true, dude. That's why they call it, you tell a tall tale. You know, don't tell tall tales.

And even on your next day too, you could be like, wow, this is honestly like a little bit better than my date last night. Yeah. I mean, if you encourage competition, that is the American way. Yeah. That's capitalism, dude. So where are you from? I'm from Massachusetts. I'm living like- That's America. That's America, dude. That's where they did the Boston Tea Party. That's where they did a lot of American shit. It's kind of the most American. Paul Revere's Midnight Ride.

Dude, for sure. Now... Say it. Yeah. Go ahead. Don't hold back. This is live. Are you good at sex? You're a skilled lover. Dude.

Unreal. No, I'm just kidding. I'd say I'm probably like, I don't know, average sex performer. Which one? Which answer do we believe? The unreal one or the average? I think above. Yeah.

I think above too. I'd say I'm like an average song. Probably like average performance. But you seem to be in touch emotionally. I feel like you're a safe person to explore with. For sure. Yeah, I'd say that. emotionally I feel like you're a safe person to explore with. For sure, yeah, I'd do that. Good. Yeah, Dark Tinkles thinks you have good sex. Was there something you wanted to ask him about butthole stuff?

Yeah, are you eating butthole after these dates? Not yet, but I definitely have eaten my fair share of butthole after these dates? Not yet, but I definitely have eaten my fair share of butthole in the past. Okay, very good. That's awesome, good, good. Very good, that's good, very good. Good. Well, I think you're doing great, kid.

You think so? Mm-hmm. But remember, honesty, the moment you go on a date with a girl, the first thing you say is, I am seeing other people. Mm-hmm. Dude, you really think I should say that? I feel like I would freak him out.

Not like freak him out, but like kind of like. I promise you, right out the gates. Yeah. Look, I'm straight in the eyes, seeing other people. You wanna look at the apps? Look at this, seven matches in the last five days because I'm paying for more access It should be on the apps dude. Yeah, there's a thing on the apps like this is how many interactions that this car I do it with this person that the dude can you imagine me like match so and you're like, wow, I think we have a connection

It's like she's talking a hundred dudes. Yeah, it has like 40,000 connections. Tinder used to have last time active. So you'd message a girl and then she wouldn't respond and be like, she was active three minutes ago. And you're like, I think she saw it. Kind of important stat for them to have though. I think she knows. Exactly, dude.

Yeah. I don't think she missed it. That's great. You're getting asked, man. We're really proud of you. Just keep your side of the street clean You're gonna be alright All right, I mean if you say so i'm gonna i'm gonna give it a go tonight. I'm gonna tell uh, i'm gonna tell abby

I'm gonna be like hey listen Are you like hanging out with you? I don't want to let you know that I am seeing other people as well. But uh If that's what you want to do or do you want to shut up, Strider. Do you want to make it exclusive? No, no, Strider, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. Do you want to be exclusive with these girls? With Abby or the other girl or no? What's your intention? Dude, it's not like-

Dude, is it that thing where it's like having sex with one chick is tight, but having sex with more chicks is also more tight though? That's what I'm saying, Strider. Dude, that's tough, man. Fuck, dude. Having sex with one chick is tight, but having sex with more chicks is also more tight though Dude that's tough man Fuck, look we cannot fear the ramifications of being pure and honest. We have to deal with the world as it will take it It's not our responsibility to massage it or to protect people from what is all right? You just got to tell them what you thought man. Mm-hmm Yep from what is, all right? You just gotta tell them what you thought, man. Mm-hmm, yep. Appreciate it.

In that case, I'm with the boys. You gotta come straight out of the gate, even before you pick your toppings, that fucking yogurt land or wherever you're at. You go, oh yeah, I think gummy bears are gonna be great with this tart raspberry. By the way, I'm seeing three other girls right now. Dude.

Yeah. That's how you gotta do it. Dude, I'll have to give it a go. Did you uh... Oh, Nicky in the chat disagrees with me. That's crazy. Oh really? Because you're a liar. Because you're a liar, Nicky. You think it's okay to lie to people.

So, are you going to Fenway Park? Is that one of your dates? Yeah, I'm going to Fenway on Wednesday with Larissa. Larissa, dude, you'd smoke it up. Bro, you tell Larissa, you see the green monster over there? Two weeks ago when the pirates were in town, fucking that guy that's pitching really well was on the mound and also was hanging out

with a girl named Abby. She put relish on her hot dog. I'm gonna go get us dogs. What do you want on your dog? Yeah, I feel like that would just like, if I just came straight out and just told these girls like, yeah, like going out on dates with other girls and just like make it super awkward. I know, but that is what you like to do.

You like going out with girls. That's kind of your vibe. That's kind of your hobby. That's kind of your joy. So like if they can't accept that, dude, bro, maybe JT, is there a way that he could tell them this without verbalizing? Like if he like pierces one ear, the girls are going to assume he's seeing other girls. Am I right?

Or like if he gets a chain necklace? You're saying should he hit on a girl in front of said girl to like really drive home that message? Exactly, dude. That could work. I don't know if I'm going to do that, but. Yeah, some people aren't honest, dude. I'm honest, I swear. If you wear no sleeve shirt out on date, it's assumed you're seeing other girls.

Am I right? No cut off on dates. Usually like those like trendy button downs with like the flat collars. Those are sick. D, let's let's rehearse your opening line at your date with Abby. Google. Hey! Right now? Yeah, what's, what's your name? Uh, my name's Chris, you can call me C-Love. Hey C-Love, thank you so much for taking me on this date. Oh dude, Abby, what up? Uh, yeah, I'm seeing other people too. This date's gonna be sick.

Dude Abby what up? Yeah, I'm seeing other people too I'm so glad you're honest with me. It makes me want you to eat my butt more Dude Abby I could totally Peed art your butt later after the sick date. All right, sweet. Well, let's look at appetizers. I Mean dude, what a fire way to start a date. That was perfect. That was perfect. And now you're both in the clear and everything's open and you're gonna be your better self

because you kept it real, brother, and people can smell real. Yep, that's true. For sure. For sure. Good share. This was very insightful. I think we really helped you man. That's good and yogurt is going to be a good date for you too because you did pound six eggs and a pound of beef so you're going to want to digest that.

Yeah. Yeah dude carnivore diet. Don't ever hold in a fart with a girl. Never. Wait never tried the carnivore diet or never hold in a fart? Never hold in a fart with a girl. Never. We never never tried the carnivore diet or never holding a fart. Never holding a fart with a girl. If you got a to rip. Dude, if you're not ripping butt, dude, in front of a potential future

frickin GF, it ain't going to be long term. All right. They just got to just got to be honest and just rip butt. Be honest with her and fart. If you have to fart, don't make up farts if you don't have. Dude, you gotta be old fashioned about it though. You know what I mean? Like you pick her up obviously for a date, she gets in the car.

You just gotta be like, yo, sorry if it smells like what? Girls are weird about getting picked up nowadays. I always ask and they're like, no, I'll just meet you there. And I'm like lame. That's the baller move though to ask. Yep. Yeah, I always ask. For real. How about, how about let's, let's, let's rehearse them getting in your car after you just ripped

ass in there. Hey C love, thanks for going and picking me up in your car. Yeah, I just ripped like six eggs and pounded ground beef. That makes me want to eat your butt. Dude, no way. I was planning on eating your butt later. Oh, sweet. Well, let's look at appetizers. I got fried pickles. Let me get some fried pickles.

He's had six eggs in the pounder grand piece. Dude, that's great. This is great. This is productive. C-Lil sounds like a great guy. You really do, man. You got this. Dude.

Thanks, Jakey. Have fun. J.P., I want to say, when I saw you in Boston, dude, your biceps in person are so big. That's nice, man. Thank you. Like, I'm not even kidding. I don't know why, but I just noticed that right away. You know what, man? Your biceps were big, too. I remember that. And I remember looking at them. Actually? Yeah, for real. And I remember looking at him and I was like That guy can carry so much. He can carry the way to honesty man. Just stay tall brother

For sure Well, you do sure dude, Chad JT Strider Later see you on speed dude. Let's not goes All right, we'll do love you. Love you, man All my bad I think I'm 13 years old, dude Never laugh so hard

You don't hate fart jokes as much anymore. No, I don't you know, know once the kiddos were born I had to kind of let go of any prude instincts I had around that stuff. Bodily functioned jokes are never the highest hanging fruit but sometimes you gotta have them. They are hilarious. They do make me laugh. I think that's a good way to test how comfortable a girl is with you. You know?

You just rip a fat one and she's like, dude that smells. She's probably pretty chill. Or if she's like, what the fuck was that? You gotta be like, well, you know, this is my house. I kind of rip farts here. That's what Jake always does. That's how I got that move from Jake. When Jake goes on a date, he likes, he's a girl, he's like, oh, what up? And he farts and he's sorry, chief? Sike what up? Sorry chief Jake you know I'm locking in an impression We have a jd or strider cuz you got a good strider to baby, baby. I just I just had to rip a fart I

Don't rip too many farts around my dank-ass wife, but baby every once in a while just let one squeeze out Come on, baby. Nah, dude. I mean kaisa net probably farts the best dude on a stream. Did you see that stream? kaisa net for Clipped up had a yogurt parfait for breakfast, baby. It's so good with some buttered toast a little nice coffee That's what I say when we're on the road I go to the room like a dude with a little parfait down Yeah, when when jakes when jake starts a date He sits down for dinner and then he just rips a fart like that. He lifts his legs up Can you lift your legs up and do the impression babe come on come here chief

Farts dude, did you see that dude? Learned that move on twitch. So funny. All right, how do you guys feel? That feels like a good place. place? Yeah. Yeah impression is the highest form of flatulence That's what they say great pod fellas good stuff guys always fun, dude Thanks chat for tuning you guys are the best Store you guys want to oh, yeah, joe just messaged me that we got to promote that too Guys, we'll be at the comedy Store this Wednesday 10 30 p.m. Belly Room. Me, JT, Strider, Kevin the Schmoll, and Joe Marisi. We also have Andrea Jin. Is that how you say it?

Robbie Hoffman. Robbie Hoffman. And then Isaac Hirsch, George Perez. Dude, Isaac Hirsch George Perez dude Isaac Hirsch who won nine times in a row on Jeopardy and there might be some surprises we might be challenging it might be a stand-up comedy and more so it's gonna be a fun show yeah we got some bells and whistles to it awesome see you guys there get your tickets at ChadJT.com also check out the Twitch it's so much fun twitch.tv slash Chad and JT go deep. The chat is hilarious if you join the Twitch make sure you get a funny ass name like left angle dong right angle dong long squeaky fart or dark tinkle. Alright late dudes!