Going Deep with Chad and JT - EP 371 - The Schmole has a HUGE BREAKDOWN

Episode Date: December 4, 2024

Today we are joined by our favorite Schmole, Kevin Fard. The ep starts off with brand new dong song but midway through Kevin has a HUGE breakdown and loses all confidence in his guitar skills. There was only one way the bros knew how to get Kevin's stoke back in check - An impromptu draft of the best nicknames for The Female Anatomy. The bros have a huge beef with one of the picks, claiming it is a nickname for something else but Billy from Milwaukee calls in praising the pick. Let us know in the comments what you think!  Check out Kevs funny videos here:https://www.instagram.com/kevinfard/ We are live streaming a Fully unedited version of the pod on Twitch, if you want to chat with us while we're recording, follow here: https://www.twitch.tv/chadandjtgodeep Grab some dank merch here:https://shop.chadandjt.com/ Come see us on Tour!  St. Louis and Indianapolis are the next stop! http://www.chadandjt.com TEXT OR CALL the hotline with your issue or question: 323-418-2019(Start with where you're from and name for best possible advice) Thanks to Our Sponsors:Home Chef: THE BEST MEAL KITS! Get 18 free meals plus free dessert for life when ordering from https://www.homechef.com/godeep  Chubbies Shorts: OUR FAV CLOTHING BRAND! Get 20% off your order today when using the promo code GODEEP20 at checkout  https://www.chubbiesshorts.com MagicMind, Easy Rider, Botanic Tonics

Okay, I didn't really have time to do anything so I just wrote it before I came here that's okay just wrote some lyrics That's not gonna read. I gotta I gotta read it off the paper. But do you want me to hold the paper for you? No I'm sorry. We good? We've been rolling. No one grows in the night I forgot the intro You don't know what you're doing? Not really How's it sounding there Jake? Sounds great.

Kevin play the song. No one grows in the night like Joe's dung. It's so long behind blue balls and no one knows what it's like to be lengthy and girthy behind blue balls but just dooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo Don't empty He won't drain them At night It's no longer No, not November But he won't bust one Conspiracies Shmuel, welcome to the podcast.

I don't, you know, I don't feel, I don't like that. You know, I didn't have enough prep time. You're like what? You know, reading from the paper. That's unprofessional. Can we do the chorus one more time? Okay. Yeah.

Let's try the chorus again. Cause I screwed up. I said his dong instead of balls. Let's do it and you go with me and I'll put the sunglasses on. Yeah. Okay. I'm gonna be the bass. This is live. Okay two three one two one two three but just balls aren't empty he won't stroke his dung his dawn it's no longer no no no no no I tried guys whoa that was good dude Kevin don't get down on yourself you do

such a good job. I Feel like you have a meltdown every time we start. Yeah, what's going on man? Why are you so panicky? I'm lacking in confidence guys I don't know. I've had a long day Everyone knows you're a confident guy. Everyone knows you don't care about you know, but you're They are empty do you guys do you guys you get that part? Yeah, because he doesn't jack he's got blue balls Yeah, but I think everyone's got it. Apparently he does he jacks off now I think I'm seeing again didn't he say that I heard through the grape. So my songs not even timely anymore Look, I had to write it in it I thought I would just I got home late

I just writing it upstairs and it just came to me. And I thought he wasn't busting still. You're in a very precarious place because you're a victim of your own success. So many of the Joe's Dong songs have been just totally unqualified bangers. I didn't have time to rehearse this. And then I was singing it and then Stephanie's like,

That's your wife. and then Stephanie's like, That's your wife. Yeah, she's like, she's like, nobody wants to hear a depressing, you know, dong song. And then that shot at my confidence. But she's not the target demo. Doesn't she, she comes at you like every day. She doesn't get my humor.

Yeah. Yeah. So you, yeah, that's one thing, maybe we should unpack that. So your wife doesn't like dong. Humor. Humor. Are we saying she doesn't like dong humor or she doesn't like dong or humor?

Cause I could go with you on either one. Well, you tell me. Are those, is dong, can you separate dong from humor? Yes. So something can be funny and not related to Dong. Yeah. Is that what you're saying? Yeah.

That what you're saying? I believe that. Let's see. Okay. Show me an example. Something that's something that's funny, not related to Dong. Oh, a lot of a lot of a what's up guys. Welcome to the podcast. If you're watching this on YouTube before you do anything, make sure you hit like subscribe comment.

Get this thing into the algo so we can spread the stoke worldwide. That'd be so sick. and spread the stoke worldwide. That'd be so sick. Guys, we are on tour. We are, our next show is gonna be at the Comedy Store in Los Angeles, Bros Before Joes, December 11th, 10.30 PM. The Schmoll. 10 o'clock.

10 o'clock. We got bumped up. We got bumped up. The Schmoll is gonna be there, JT's gonna be there, Joe's gonna be there, Strider's gonna be there. Joe's gonna be there. Strider's gonna be there. Ian Edwards, Sarah Lawrence. Who's the last one?

Johanna something? Yeah. Oh, Johanna Coca. Also, we're gonna be in St. Louis on December 18th. We're gonna be in Indianapolis on December 19th. Then next year, we're gonna be in Cincinnati, Cleveland, Toronto, Fort Worth, Dallas. Lots of new dates coming at you.

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to receive free dessert. All right, let's start the show. ["What's Your Dream?" by The Bunch plays.] So I texted you, you texted me earlier today. We're gonna go to Santa. And I don't know if you can talk about it, but you said- No. You can't talk about it? No.

Drop it. Okay. Can someone tell me about it off mic? But like what I'm talking about? No, it's not interesting enough to talk about it off mic. I think we're all interested now because of the way that you didn't want it to be heard. Yeah. Somebody just told me to shut up on chat That's hurting my confidence

Can you tell us a little story about when you went to The Halloween thing with Chad and oh, oh, yeah I want to hear your side of that if we could what did you did you tell yours? I don't think I really talked about on the show so you can dive in We went to this We went to this. What would you call it like a Halloween? spook a Say it's a haunted house haunted haunted house haunted house slash

theatrical show Yeah, so um So we went to a haunted house We wanted Joe to come but he was I think he was scared. You don't want to go to a haunted house Well, I think he knew we were setting him up Yeah, because it is a peculiar house and we were being very kind of we weren't being specific with the details I was saying it was for my birthday and I wanted him to come to this haunted house

and this theater show in Burbank. And he's in North Hollywood and he's like, why do you wanna go to a theater show in North Hollywood? I'm like, cause it's supposed to be awesome. He wasn't buying it. Yeah, we wanted him to come to the haunted house and the reason we wanted to come to the haunted house is because We heard from a friend who referred it to us that

One of the monsters sucks himself off his own dick. Yeah, he sucks his own dick in the haunted house What does that mean? It means exactly what it sounds like This guy had he sucked his own dick now is a prosthetic dick So is like a monster dick that sort of just rises up and then he sucks it So basically, you know like you go through a haunted house And then you go through all the the maze the haunted maze where they pop up and they scare you That you know that part. That's the beginning. Mm-hmm. And might I add uh, uh chad was

Uh screaming like a little girl. I'm a screamer. Yeah, he was screaming like a little girl. I'm a screamer. Yeah, he was screaming. It was very scary. And we go through it and then- Well, you're going through a maze and there's scare actors, they come and they jump at you. We turn one corner,

there's just a naked dude standing there. Do you remember that? Yeah. Yeah, there's a lot of, oh yeah, a lot of dick and a lot of tiny dick, which- Most are. Yeah, he has a lot of oh yeah a lot of dick and a lot of tiny dick which most are Yeah, most are so we were you know, you guys were in the zone there And then you sit down and it's like a theater performance and a lot of nudity both ways Yeah, and then a guy sucks his own day you think you got a bigger dick than me Are we going there

Let's pull him out right now and have Chad say whose is bigger, dude I've got fucking millimeters on you don't even sure we have a pole on the twitch chat Let's have a pole. Hey, just a close-up of your hog on the camera. Yeah, I'll give them a pole Jake Can you uh, can you zoom in on both of their dicks? Wait, he has sweatpants on? I have jeans, so it's blocking more of my bulge. But even the way you're moving your legs is pretty femme, dude.

Yeah, can you cross your legs all the way? Wait, I have to man spread? What is that? Like this. No, I can't do that. Can you do it? It doesn't matter. But is that a little dick move? Yeah, or it could be a big dick move if it's so big you can you can push it through your legs. Oh. So it's like it's just shaft and then there's so much sack that the balls come out the other end. Okay, checks out. So it's not you're not just squeezing the whole package. It's like you're

along the long the longness of it all slips through your legs. Hey, I also want to give a big shout out to Eli who gave me a friendship bracelet in Chicago. Nice. Chicago nice Does he have a big dick Probably nice All right. I gotta try and find something that makes Kevin laugh that doesn't have dong in it That's my mish for the episode. Good luck Oh Dude, I have the biggest hog Wow. Oh wow

How much did you buy? That's what the poll said that's what the poll you were in the poll if that's what they said Then it's true. Did you pull up the poll? Let him know you know what this is. This is a pole pole. It's a no. I have the smallest dick here chat It's a pole pole pole pole. Yeah, my mom listens to this Here. Chad, it's a pole pole. Pole pole. Yeah. My mom listens to this.

Wait, I got second? You got second. I'll take that. I'll take that. How did I beat you? This is your chat. So Kev, what's going on? What's new in your life?

Dude, I don't even. Um... Dude, I don't even... I don't even know. We're uh... We're gonna take uh... The little child to Santa Claus. Where's Santa? At the mall. The Americana? I think we're going to...

We looked up the Grove and the Grove is just... Sold out. Really? You gotta reserve a spot for Santa? You gotta drop like hundreds of dollars and stuff. So I think we're gonna take them to Westfield. Westfield where? A lot of spots open. Century City? No, that's a nice one though. Westfield Century City is a nice one. You're going to Culver? Guys, the chat is distracting me and they just want to hear about dick. They just want us to talk dick. Should we just talk dick? I don't know, that's what they want. Guys, I don't have a lot of confidence tonight. Well, yeah, how about... You know what I

don't want to talk about? Santa Claus well, okay, so Last unless we're talking about Santa's dung last time you were on the podcast. We did a draft for the best dong names Yeah, I like that. Oh Should we do something similar? Maybe like best name for Cooters? Oh cooter a cooter job But I just gave it away by saying cooter. No that's fine. Cooter's numero uns dude. I don't know about that dude. I can be honest. Oh dude you don't know nothing about pussy. You guys usually when I come on. Hey brother I know Snatch. I'm giving away all the goodies right now. Uh oh we got a duel. What the fuck did you just say?

You come into my house thinking you're gonna outrank pussy names with me, partner? This... this... this joker over here thinks Cuda's number one. Listen, you silly little gash. What? You ain't got the firepower to fill Snatch with Mama Bear. You can't even mess with my slit. Should we draft best best best twat names? Yeah. Can I can we play this video

I just sent Jake real quick to see if it makes Kevin laugh first. All right. Very briefly. Because I think this one could do it. Chad laughed at the other one too. I already got Chad. Why was that the one you chose? I wonder, you're not seeing what happened. You don't think that's funny, Kev?

He's looking at the camera and then he falls. Was he squaring up with that guy? Yeah, he got scared in the back top. You know what the problem is? He didn't show enough scrapping up first. So it looks like this guy's just bullying him. That guy doesn't look like he's scrapping. He just, he's like backing up and then he looks at the camera and then he falls down the cliff.

I'll keep searching. Yeah, that's not the one. Chad laughed at that one too. Did you laugh at that one? I was giggling. Hey Jake? Yeah? Would you mind taking my guitar? It's bothering me. Yeah. Thank you.

You guys, I'm, I'm, I'm, I told you. What's going on, Kev? You freak out every podcast. Why are you freaking out? I'm not freaking out. Is it the setup? Huh? Is it the setup? The couch? Is the couch bothering you? I'm not a negative Nancy. I'm just telling you guys. You're being a negative Nancy. But are you a Debbie Downer? I'm gonna need you guys to pull me out of this guys. Well what happened? Huh? What happened? I've been at court since fucking like 730 a.m. and I just I was in downtown all day then I drove back and then I drove back and it, my mind is fucked. You know what dude, I think you're killing it. I think this is good. My mind is fucked. Like I can't, I don't, everything,

my brain is fucked. Though I was in all day and then, I was in downtown, I should've stayed downtown and it's fucking mush. And then I go back and I try to write a dong song. I thought it was good. Yeah, but I'm fucked up right here right now. I can't concentrate.

I need you guys to lift me, to make me rise. Well, let's rank Cooder. But I'm not being negative. I'm not being negative. You're not being negative. I just have like a magic mind or something and then let's talk cooter Let's talk snatch. Oh Is this that thing that yeah helps you have a sharp room? This is exactly what I need

Yeah, drink one of those this is exactly what I need drink what drink one of those and let's talk snatch. Oh mad dog me, dude Drink one of those and let's talk snatch. Don't mad dog me dude. Lady Stoke says when that Lady Stoke was at Bros Before Joe's and you sang a song with Amir about Joe's dick, it was hilarious. Oh thank you. And Lady Stoke is glad you're here tonight. That was a really good song.

Yeah. I mean, you guys are leveling up. It's crazy. Do you guys are leveling up. It's crazy Do you guys have a new song for the next bros before? I think we don't we always do it like the day before but the next show is oh Let's the next show is on December 11th. We're gonna do a Christmas dong song, but we're also gonna do a nativity play I gotta go buy the fabric for us But if you guys have seen those nativity plays, you know, that kids do about the day Christ was born.

Yep. Three wise men. We're gonna do that. We're gonna do our take on that. So it's gonna be like a live performance and all of us are gonna do it. So if you want to come to Bros Before Shows and see us perform like a theater We have a script written out. We're gonna get JT's gonna play don't give it don't give away the surprise. Well, I'll be

We'll all be doing that It's gonna be fun. Did you chug yours? Yeah, am I supposed to chug it? I think you can go at your own pace This guy called me a pussy. Who said that? He said moist meat missile. Well, that puts us back on brand and back on the job. Let's rank different names for Cooter. So guys, it's an honor to have you here today.

Kevin, Chad, reigning champion. Today, we're ranking the best nicknames for the female anatomy. Yeah, we're calling it the Conames for the female anatomy. Yeah. We're calling it the Coupter draft. We're really excited to get into this one. It's our sequel after we did the Dong draft, which was a huge hit. Guys, off your phone, off your smartwatch. Oh, so no phone this time? Oh, you guys are looking stuff up?

You guys looked stuff up last time and I wasn't. You're allowed to research. Sorry. I thought you guys just weren't given the respect that is necessary for a good gash talk. Alright, should we odds or evens real quick to see what the draft order is? Odds or evens. Kevin, get ready to sling some fingers. One, two, three. It's one or two.

You do one or two, partner. How many fingers did you just throw out? Five. Come on, partner. How many fingers did you just throw out? Five. Dude, come on, man. Ladies. You never played odds or evens? Whatever. All right, let's throw it again.

So one or two? One or two. OK. One, two, three. Oh, third pick. That could be good. Blast, baby. You want to do this thing?

Have you ever done that? No, paper rock scissors for it. Ready? Paper rock scissors shoot. You say paper rock scissors instead? Paper rock scissors for it. Ready? Paper rock scissors shoot. You say paper rock scissors instead of rock paper scissors? I've been hearing about that. Paper rock scissors shoot. Paper rock scissors shoot. Yeah. Number one pick to Kevo. All right, start the research. And then we're gonna have an unbiased judge? No, we're gonna put it to the chat. And yeah, we can call Aaron any chance I can get in on the cooter draft

You want play yeah I'm sliding in that four hole. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, I'll be in the four hole perfect There's some great ones, you know, are we were it's it, you know There's some great ones. You know, are we, we're, it's, you know, we, it's the best name. Is it the funniest names or the best names? Well, that's up to you. Yeah. Go with. I know what the number one word is, but I hate to be crass. Why don't you get a pack of gum, I'll teach you how to chew it. That's a good one. That's a good one. Okay. Are we ready? Guys, I know the number one. It's gonna sound... I know. I'm go... the number one pick is... Say it. Pussy. Now I don't like saying pussy.

That sounds... Terrible first pick. Ah, geez. Is it supposed to be funny? I think that's the number one word. But that's that's crass. Do I have to stay... Are we workshopping this or is that... No. If I'm stuck with it? That's your pick.

Tell us why you love it. Here's the thing, Kevin knows Dong. He doesn't know, he doesn't know. I'm lost. He doesn't know Cooter. Look, all right. I think that one needs no explanation. It's what people use.

I got some pussy. Now the problem with that one now. I'm backtracking on it. Is that I don't think women like pussy Yeah, no Yeah, I don't think it like when you refer to it. Oh, I'm chicks like it do chicks like pussy Yeah, most of the chicks I hang out with like when you say pussy like yeah Let me get that pussy are there any chicks in the chat, but I'm gonna stick with pussy No, there's no chicks in the chat? But I'm going to stick with pussy. There's no chicks in the chat. I think pussy's the I love you mom. All right.

Well, that was it. That was a good start with the number two pick. I'm going with the one that just with the number two pick in the Cougar draft for best nicknames for the female anatomy, I'm going with beef curtains. Beef curtains. All right. Does that take roast beef off of it as well or is that something different? No, I think we eliminate beef.

Why do you like beef curtains? For me, it's creative, you know, like it's descriptive. It's descriptive. It conjures imagery that is accurate, but is also profane in a humorous way. And it kind of takes the the seriousness out of it in a way that I think makes life easier for a lot of us. Just to push back a little bit on beef curtains, wouldn't you say like it kind of degrades the female anatomy a little bit? So it's kind of like, you know, all you got, like, that's not even special.

That's just, you know, curtains of beef. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. It's probably a little bit ruder than snatch, but my thing is, is like, I love beef. What if the girl, and honestly, I like beef, honestly, I like curtains too. Nice. So for me, it's two things I like a name for a thing I love. So I don't know. I love beef curtains. And you know, when I just said it a minute ago I was really happy. He just said it just Kind of what do you like more beef or curtains? I like beef more than curtains like before than curtains, but curtains block the light but beef does taste good beef is delicious

I could eat beef forever. I think I like curtains better just because you know sometimes you got a Make it a little dark inside. I can go with chicken and curtains. Wow. Just a thought, just a thought but great pick. Alright Chad you're up. Alright dude good pick. For my pick I'm gonna go with one that just snaps off the tongue. Oh god damn it. And it just, I think it paints females in a beautiful light. Oh. I think it, when you hear it you go, bah! You know? Yep. Give it to us. I'm going with Poon Tang. It's a good one. Oh my god. Poon Tang's a good one. That is a fucking good pick. I love it. Poon Tang. That one. Poon Tang. Poon Tang. And that's that one word or two words? It's two words. Two words, okay. Poon Tang is the best name for the female anatomy. it's letting you know that I mean they just

got I don't even know how to describe it because it's something that you love right and it's like growing up I love Tang and then as I matured I'm like I also like Poon and so to can so to combine the two are you breaking like beef and curtains yeah to combine the two where it's like I love my favorite orange juice and a lapoon tang and also you know poontang juice is tangy my buddy Rodney's dad's boat was called the poondoggy. That's sick dude. I also think, dude massive respect on the poontang pic made me super happy to hear you say it and like I'm just tickled pink thinking about it. Nice.

But what I love the most about the phrase poontang is I think it's really appropriate for the day after. Like your homie cruises over, you guys lost track of each other at the bar, and then you just hit him with like, hey, did you fall into some poon tang last night? Yeah, it takes me back to like the 70s, I feel like. Yeah, it's like something they'd say on Yellowstone, like Kevin Costner's like, why weren't you at the ranch? And you're like, you get into some poon tang last night?

And you'd be like, yes sir, I did. And you'd be like, good for you. Or, uh, you know, it's like you, uh, you could hit your grandpa could say it. Where he's like, God damn it. That, that kid's just, all he does is just chasing poon tang. Or your grandma could say, Hey, Roger. I heard last night you went out to the bar and we're just chasing poon tang. That's a damn lie woman. That's all you do Roger.

It ain't enough to have my beef curtains. You gotta go out to the bar and chase poon tang. I haven't had a good taste of poon tang in 40 years. I'm right here. I'm right here Roger. Oh damn. Poon tang has gone bad. It expired.

Hey, Roger, good to see you. Ooh. What are you doing here, you little whore? Talking about someone. I'm Roger's Poontang from last night. Oh, you're the Poontang. He's just chasing all over town. Is that right?

Roger gave it to me good. He gave it to me doggy style. He gave it to me reverse cowgirl. I opened up doggy style, he gave it to me reverse cowgirl. I opened up those beef curtains. Oh you lewd whore. He was pow-driving my poop tank. I was pow-driving. Which you've never let him do.

All right, Jake you're up. Come on, give it to us Jake. This one is funny to me because we used to say it as friends when we were growing up, and then I moved out here, and a restaurant is named after it. Oh wow. I'm going with the pink taco. Oh closed down unfortunately. Wait where did you eat at the pink taco on Sunset? Yeah on Sunset. Yeah it's done. Like how long? I literally was just there last week. You were there last you were

there last week? Yeah. Well then maybe somebody bought it. There was news reports that was closing down. Yeah I went there last week? Yeah. Well then maybe somebody bought it. There was news reports that it was closing down. Yeah, I went there last week with my friends who were visiting. Oh, that's good news. Pink taco is fantastic. Good pick. It sounds delicious. Also a food item, like beef curtains. It doesn't snap off the tongue like Poon Tang.

But it's imagery, right? But it's good imagery. Yeah. That explains why you were so loud in the sack last night I can't hear the smacking Jake Jake go baby go. All right. Yeah Snake trap back to me. I'm gonna go with this one is kind of

Degrading I guess you could say because it's only I think they're all degrading so this one only goes towards like bigger women it's called moose knuckle oh now we're going into animals you know what though you can't you say moose knuckle for for your dong coming through your jeans too? I've heard that. Maybe, I don't know. I've only heard it referred to you guys. Maybe it's, maybe it goes both ways. So you're saying Moosh Snuckle is a male camel? Hey, you have to write it down.

You have to write it down, Moosh Snuckle. Oh, you picked a penis one, dude. You picked a dick. Oh, what a steed. You couldn't even come up with two nicknames for your fucking vagina, bro? Put it down! Hey, Jake, Jake!

Jake, I bet you were thinking of Ted Cruz as Moose Knuckle. I was just misinformed, I guess. Growing up, I thought a Moose Knuckle was, you know, yeah. Hey, man, dude, it happens, bro. And I think that's all love, it's all respect. It's a hell of a pick. Well, dude, I- I like pussy, you know, yeah. Hey man, all good, dude, it happens, bro. And I think that's all love, it's all respect, it's a hell of a pick. Well, dude, I- I mean, I like pussy, you know?

Dude, 100%, you sounded legit, dude. And you know what, Jake? You know what? I respect that you gave a pick for the larger women out there because I love a plus-size lady. You know? They need love, lady. They need love too. They need love too.

They're sweet people. Skinny girls are for modeling. Thick girls are for cuddling. All right, Chad. Big booty slapping says, we all think you love box, so you're good. That could be a good one right there. All right, Chad, you're up.

I'm so nervous right now. Oh, man. Man, you know what? There's a lot of pressure because I had such a fire pick and I'm not afraid to say it. Um. I'm gonna have to put the clock on you. I'm gonna go, okay, okay, okay, okay. I'm gonna go, I'm gonna, since Poon Tang is so complimentary, I'm gonna go with one that's really kind of insulting. All right. Hatchet wound. hatchet wound oh that's just the imagery is disgusting whoa whoa what a turn from Chad there dude that's sort of like demented that is yeah pretty revolting I've never actually even heard of that yeah look how happy he is dude that's what counts he's a sick puppy good for you dude

I picked hatchet wound because when you say hatchet wound, you can't believe you just said it. Yep. And when people were like- I went for shock fat value. When you're in high school, when you're in high school, when you're in high school, everyone's like, oh dude, it's a whatever, it's a whatever. And then the one kid comes up, he's like, nah, it's a hatchet wound.

And you're like, dude, that trumps all. You need a savage one for sure I Mean it at least it's not you can't confuse that with a dick like Jake's big I've referred to that. Yeah, but it's not what, okay, if you refer to a pussy as a, as a dong, that doesn't help you. All right, I'm up. Let's do this.

So I'm actually going to flip. Chad, you and me are on like, the same course, but different steps. Yeah. Like you, I went Savage up top, and now with the second pick, and the best nicknames for female anatomy draft, I'm gonna go with something a bit sweeter, still lightly offensive, but I think on the adorable side,

I'm gonna go with Beaver. Beaver, oh, that's a good one. The Beaver's a good one, respectable. Fantastic. Beaver. Oh, that's a good one. The beaver is a good one. Respectable. Another animal. Fawn, you can use it in conversation. You could say it at the golf course. You could say it, you know, having mimosas. It's not going to throw people off. They might think you're immature,

but no one's going to think, you know, you're aggressive or, or unsavory. No, no. People like beavers. Yeah, beavers fantastic. You can name a restaurant after it. What do you mean by that? What would the name of the restaurant be? Beaver's?

Like the Beaver's Den. Or the Beave. The Beave. Or like the Beaver's Dam. Or just like, you know, the female beaver, or you know, beaver and wings. Where do beavers, are they in Oregon?

Is that where you find beavers? I think I'm in Wyoming too. Do we have beavers here? I think there's some beavers in California. Like Northern California? Beavers are awesome. Great, but you know they'll mess up, they'll mess you up, man.

They'll mess up the agriculture. Oh for real? Sometimes you gotta take them out. With all the dams. I mean, how cute is it though, that an animal, it's like main purpose is to build a dam. It's awesome.

Is that not hilarious? He's just born, he's like, where's some wood? I need to clog up this stream. What do you call a beaver's beaver? Ooh. The bee's knees. like, where's some wood? I need to, I need to clog up this stream. What do you call a beaver's beaver? Ooh, the bee's knees. No, that's not what I was looking for. Okay, let's, is it my turn? Okay. All right, two picks, two picks here for Kevo. All right.

Came out super weak. I'm going to go with something that is fun to say, okay? I don't think it's demeaning, okay? And it's actually, it's just an abbreviation sort of. I'm going with vag. Another very weak pick. I love saying it. Vaj. Bro, this is crazy. You're such a maestro of dick. And then when it comes to pussy, you're tongue tied.

I mean, I like it. I like vag. I like saying vag. It's fun to say. Vaj. You know what? Vaj. I feel like I'm drafting against AI.

And also, dude, chicks like saying badge. Yeah, they do. They love saying badge. That's true. I've heard my girlfriend say it. I've heard her friends say it. Cheerleaders. Cheerleaders.

Vegetarians. Vegetarians. Jake. Jake says it. Hillary Clinton. Yup. Yeah, she says it. A mall.

A mall. There we go. Kari Lake. She, yup. Yeah, she says it. A mall. A mall. There we go. Kari Lake. There we go. I'm bringing the ladies on board, okay? Get the ladies, bro. I'm bringing the ladies. I went strong with the pussy.

I brought the boys on board. Hey, I got some pussy. Or the ladies, ooh, touch my badge. But take it serious, for sure, for sure. Okay. And now I'm gonna do what you guys are doing, food and animals. Let's go with camel toe.

You can't mistake that for a cock, right? I got an animal in there, you boys. I just need a food item and you guys are fucked. Hey, I think we gotta go five picks on this one because there's just a lot of sweetness out there. Oh my God. I think I just boom and boom, pussy, vag, camel toe.

I do like Poon Tang. I think camel toe really helped your list a lot. I mean, the problem with Poon Tang, it was so good up top and then you just completely fucking wiped it out with hatchet wound. Dude, you gotta go, you gotta give all variations. All right, I'm up. And. Whoa, dude. Beefdips just said his favorite word

for pussy just changed to Kevin. Holy crap. Beefdips? Wait, what? Someone just said that? They said some crap my favorite word for pussy just changed to cap dude if someone said that about that I'd be so mad. Are they insulting me? I would lose it seriously, man I would lose I don't know if I'm taking the insult cuz their favorite word involves me so they're thinking about me Yeah Well if you want this pussy, come and get it. Beef nips.

Okay. Oh, JT. Okay, cool. So this one's kind of close to one that's already been picked, but it kind of feels like its own thing. And I just think it's probably the most fun to say. And you know, it used to be more popular. This is like a total 2007 word.

Okay. So with my third pick. I know. In the female anatomy draft, nicknames for the female anatomy, I'm taking it old school. I'm going 07. I'm going with poonanny. I knew it was coming. Poontang, poonanny. Dude, Borac.

Yeah, I'll accept it. I'll accept it. Poonanny is good. Poon Annie, I'm gonna tell you and I'm not trying to be negative here. The poon, the poon, that poon was already sort of, it hit with the poon tang and I like poon Annie but it's not hitting as hard. All right, what if I do this? You can't change the pick. You can't change it. Yeah.. I'm just, and I'm not trying to shit on your pick. I'm just stream of consciousness. It's fair, it's real. You know, after you said that about Vag,

I thought that was fun to say, Vag. All right. I can't believe this one's still available. Don't do it. And I'm so pumped to pick this one because rappers say it, people say it. It's just a fun word to say, coochie.

Coochie, oh I like that. Great one, and you know what, better than cooch, I'm glad you added the E at the end. Coochie. You're back after that, you're back with that pick. That puts you back on the map. Yeah, you went on a detour, but you came back, dude. Guys, can I make an announcement?

I'm back, baby. I'm fucking, are you back? Yeah, you seem back. I'm firing off all fucking cylinders. That's why we did this. Bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, b fucking I'm firing off all fuck. That's why we did. Yeah I'm glad we scheduled this part for tonight. You know, I needed that shit on the listeners for the first 20 minutes first first 20 30 minutes I wasn't feeling it, but I'm fucking I'm in the zone right now. I'll clean it up for you, Kev It'll look like you're ready to rock. Fuck. Yeah.. Yeah Jake's on top of it, he's the man. Fuck yeah. What's the best time to say coochie?

Coochie. Oh I said it like Al Pacino there. Coochie. You know let's say if a girl, a friend or some, yeah maybe someone you're dating is like, I just don't feel good and you just go, is it your coochie? Ah, is it your coochie? It's a great way to ask about like OBGYN issues. Yeah. She'd be like, hey, honey, I noticed you're a bit off today. Saw you drinking some cranberry juice.

Is the coochie in trouble? Yeah. I feel like if you were to talk to like Dua Lipa, Sabrina Carpenter or Madonna, you'd say, you'd refer to their, whatever is their coochie. You'd be like, um, Dua, I, you know, something wrong with your coochie? It's a good way to go in on something that's sensitive without setting off alarms. Yeah. Yeah. Because if they hear, you know, beef curtains, wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee. Yeah.

But if you say Gucci. Right, if you're like Dua Lipa, is there something wrong with you? If like her tour manager was like, Dua, is there something wrong with your beef curtains? What about? You'd probably get fired. I don't think it would hit. What about hatchet wound? Yeah, hatchetound is military.

Is that military? That seems like serial killer. It had a touch of it, but I'm glad. I'm glad it's out there. Kevin, are you telling me that the Magic Mind is what got you back into gear or is it Puntang? You know what guys? I guess that's a that's a it could be the Magic Mind or the Dude, I don't know but I'm fucking, I'm feeling sharp. Alright you're up, you're up dude, we got two more picks. Jake you're up with two right here. Alright, I tried to go with the little curveball bend, didn't hit, so I'm just gonna throw fastballs. I'm gonna stick with the fastballs. I'm gonna go Vajayjay. Great pick. Vajayjay.

That was what I was gonna go with instead of maybe Poonani. Yeah, I already did a play on Vaj though. I think Vajayjay's way better than Vaj. That sound like an Indian dude. Vajayjay. Vajayjay's good. Yeah, I feel like it's something that you say when you're younger and you don't wanna say anything

too vulgar. So you're just like the JJ Jake I noticed that you used a bigger font for VJJ than everybody else's font oh that just I didn't want you to you know be pushing your there you go Wow you do you get these things out that propaganda bro magic mine man I'm sharp mind, man. I'm sharp. For my fourth pick, I'm gonna go with another fastball. I'm gonna go with canal. Canal, okay.

Not a fastball. Not a fastball. It is a fastball. It's like what you would refer to as like a prostitute. She's slanging that canal. Ooh, and where did you learn that? Jake, where did you learn that? Figueroa. No, I don't know.

It's just a good pick right down the middle of canal. I know the chat likes it, so thank you. People are terrified. Jake, good picks? I still don't know if that list will get past the fact that you picked a dick for round two. Yeah, I'm fine with last. It's all good.

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of the Vagene. This one emphasizes also the meat. Okay. The wizard's sleeve. What the fuck? The wizard's sleeve? The wizard's sleeve. What the fuck? The wizard sleeve? The wizard sleeve. That's a Borat. Is that from Harry Potter? Is that from Borat? Yeah, he goes,

my wife's of the gene hang low like sleeve of wizard. Oh really? Oh, it's funny in that context, I guess. Chad is just swerving wildly. Dude, you're like Steven Soderbergh. One for them, one for me. This is like self-destruction. The wizard's sleeve. You can put that in bigger font if you want, just to help him out there. Oh my God. Jesus Christ.

All right, JT. So I've gone with two cuties in a row. You know, after I started off with the aggressive one, beef curtains, and then I took us into a more playful whimsical route with Beaver and Pooh Nanny. But I think it's time to get back to just brass tacks, meat and potatoes, mom and pop nicknames for the female anatomy.

And that's why with this one, I'm going short and sweet. I'm going with box. Box, nice. Jake was actually gonna going short and sweet. I'm going with box. Jake was actually a great pick. Jake was going to pick meat and potatoes. Oh box box is a great pick. Yeah, I like that. I like box.

Nobody has anything else to say about it. OK, I think, you know, the thing about box is it speaks for itself. And I would say of all the ones we've said, it's the most ready to use. If you're in conversation anywhere across this country with any group of people, you say, Hey, I got in that box. Everyone's like, all right, this guy's dialed. I understand where he's coming from. I trust him. We can keep drinking coffee. That's great. Box is great. All right, Kevo, take us home with two more picks, dude. Guys, I'm gonna, I'm gonna tell you I'm, I'm torn on and I'm torn between two and I can't, they're too similar. So I can't do both of those in a row. And I can't reveal I can't give an idea to somebody. Oh, can I say someone in the chat just said to box pairs really well with munchin.

Yeah, munchin munchin box. Oh, OK. Yeah, but OK. Also, I just like to clarify, I'm doing some research back here in moose knuckle is referred to as a pussy But not the camel toes pussy and then moose knuckle as a cock And your balls or something Okay, I'm gonna so I'm gonna go snatch. Good pick. I love saying it.

Classic. I'm very, you know, I like things that sound funny. Snatch. Vag. Snatch. Vag. I feel like snatch too is sort of, that's like a cool thing to say. It's not too graphic. It's just, it snaps off the tongue. Snatch.

That's good. Snatch is good. I have another one now? Yep. Alright. Oh god. And this is gonna be my last one? Yep. And then this is gonna be my last one. Yep. All right. Thunder Squatchy Moose Knuckles.

Moose Knuckles is a dick chick. I think it depends on what part of the country you grew up in. If you have to ask, then I mean, it's, I mean, it's, you know, you want your pick to be, you know, undeniable. We're doing top five. We're not doing, is it a dick or is it a badge? I don't think that should make your top five. Literally on, check this out on Reddit, a moose knuckles a guy's nutsack, not a pussy. It's the camel toe of the guy.

It's what your balls do when you get a jt Can you do a moose knuckle? Yeah audience and then and then someone said this could be a regional thing because it totally Refers to the vag where I'm from must be regional here. It's a male counterpart to a camel toe. Thank you. Thank you. Whoa Whoa, and also moist meat missile said he's heard it called He's a incredible witness moist meat nuckle. Moist meat nissle. Moist meat nissle. Okay, um.

This list is not, this whole draft does not turn me on. Did the dong one? Yeah. Oh shit. I'm going with clam. Oh good pick man. I'm going now see that's really good. I wanted to go back to the animal world but I wanted to go you know we've been on land and I want to go to sea okay. I want to take us to sea and I like saying clam too Although I said it in that voice and it felt instantly creepy but clam. Clam is a clam than if you're eating beef

well said or other clam is complementary animals clam chowder clam chowder you know clam slam clamp slamamp slamming clam. Moist clam. Yeah. You know what else to say about your list, Kev? Is that it started a little generic and you never went totally off the beaten path, but it looks really nice together. Like when I see it as a group right there, Pussy Vag, Camel Toe Snatch, Clam, I'm like,

those are all true blue American, good-fashioned names for the female anatomy and they play every day of the week and none of them can be confused for a dick it's true JT what's your last pick all right so if it's around mine up real quick I got beef curtains beaver punanian Box. Good list. And right now my conflict is this. Do I go full circle Mad Max and do I do something else in the food realm or do I take it across the pond? And do I use the British terminology that makes the rounds over there? I was considering a British term. I would like it if you went there, but I don't know I'm not the audience

And I don't think I'm going with the one you think But you know what? I'm gonna keep it American I'm going with fur burger Nice another food object I was thinking minj. Oh, have you heard a British guy go Minj? I'm talking, it's Minj. Furburger. Furburger. No.

I think it's. I think that's a specific type of that, but I like it, I like it. So you like bush. But that's another. I do, I actually do like bush, but I also just think it's a real appropriate term for what you're working with, you know?

Another beef. Like when I think about it I'm like it is a fur burger. Yeah, and guess what? That's hungry. Have you noticed that JT you have two beef items. That's why I said I want to come full circle Mad Max style They leave they leave the water town and imagine Joe and then at the end they come back Oh, okay, I see what you're running away from the curtains and then in the end you come back to get some fur burger. It's narratively complete. I'm going, good pick,

I'm going with one to round mine out. So to recap, I have Poon Tang, Hatchet Wound, Coochie, and the Wizard Sleeve. So I'm kinda all over the place here, but I'm gonna round it out with a more common term that really kind of, when you hear it, it just smacks you in the face. Twat.

Great one. That was the one I was between Snatch and Twat, I was trying to pick between those. So that's a respectable pick. Your list needed that. Yeah. I don't, nowT, be honest. Can Twat is a great pick, but is it... And I don't know why Jake put the wizard's sleeve in big and bold. I don't know if... You said make it big. It doesn't matter.

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. I did. But I don't think it's helping him. Is Ma Lem still in here? Go ahead, sorry. She's there. Is Twat, can Twat overcome Hatchet Wound in the wizard's sleeve? You know, I think the thing with Chad's list is it's offbeat, but I think people are going to appreciate the wild swings. He was going for the fences. Yeah, there was nothing on there that, you know, even Coochie and Twad are still specific. I think he went really... This is my list.

Yeah, it's very personal. It's probably the most personal list I've seen Chad do in any draft. So I think it's awesome. I ask my girlfriend, I use these terms every day. Wizard sleeve? Oh yeah. Okay. Oh yeah.

I, you know... Oh yeah. Jake, take. Okay. Oh, yeah. I You know, oh Yeah Jake take us home. All right Snuckle come on. It's a ball sack. Give it a chance, you know Dick a chip is there moose knuckle like like a gay porn that just moose knuckle No, bro where I'm from moose knuckle means a bigger chick's vagina. Where are you from? The Midwest. That's what you know what the Midwest is? Okay. But to round out my list I was between two someone in chat said the one that I was gonna take so I'm gonna go something different I'm gonna go with kitty that's a good one yeah yeah that's

good I think you got a good list now man you needed something like that my other one my other one was gonna be muff muff but you know is muff the actual vagina is the hair above? No, well, you consider the whole, when you're saying her muff, you're talking about the whole thing. I think muff is the hair part. I think muff can, just like Furburger.

Cause I remember guys being like, she had a muff. Yeah, it can be both. You can talk about the bush, but I would include it as an acceptable. Why did I, I Google searched moose knuckle about the Bush, but I would include it as an acceptable. Why did I, I Google searched Moose Knuckle and most of it's just jackets. Can you send this to Aaron real quick?

Is there a company called Moose Knuckles? Oh, there is. And I'll call them. Moose Knuckles Minnetaka Jacket, men's apparel. There's a brand called Moose Knuckles. Shout out to Moose Knuckles. So here's the, I didn't know this word until I started looking them up today for our draft.

And I'm kind of upset I didn't pick it with my third pick instead of Poonani. What do you guys think about conge? Conge? C-U-N-G-E, it's a British term. No. Or clunge. I've never heard that.

Clunge. I don't like that. Clunge, yeah, sorry, with an L. Clunge. It doesn't work for me. It seems like too hard to say. I kind of dig. Clunge.

The chat says they want to poll. Yeah, yeah, I think we should just do. Oh, we're gonna do both. I think they're pretty upset. Nobody said cunt. It's too harsh. Yeah, it, I think we should just do both. I think they're they're pretty upset. Nobody said cut It's too harsh. Yeah, it's too harsh too harsh. I'd much rather say for a burger Erin what's up dog? Um, so you're live on the pod We had Kevin on and we ranked the best nicknames for female anatomy. I think

Jake sent you the list I think Jake sent you the list. Do you need me to recap? Now, Aaron, try not to stroke yourself while you're reading this list out. I know it might be difficult, but. It's tempting. Yeah. But if you have to, let us know and we'll listen.

Sure. Okay, do you need me to recap the lists or? Yeah, if you would. Yeah, dude. Sure. Do whatever helps your process. I know you're gonna pick my list. Anyways, we have We have pussy vag camel toe snatch lamb glad I closed the doors my daughter's asleep Beef curtains beaver punani box fur burger. Mm-hmm

puntaing hatchet wound coochie the wizard sleeve twat King taco loose knuckle the JJ Canal and kitty. Yep, Aaron. I like how you say twat. Can you say that again? Twat nice Okay Right off the bat My four is Poontang, Hatchet Wound, Coochie, although I do love Wizard's Sleeve. Which one, if I'm guessing, I think I know, but which one do you think knocked that person

off the totem pole? Hatchet Wound. You got to swing for the fences if you wanna hit a home run. I don't really want to think about violence. It's intense. Aaron, are you disturbed by it?

A little bit. Alright, who's in the three hole? Three hole is definitely Pink Taco, Moose Knuckle, JJ Canale, Kitty. And Aaron, does anything- I've never heard Kitty. Kitty. Does anything else stand out to you about that list?

I mean, I love Moose Knuckle. Oh, go! Go! See, I told you. I told you. Male camel toe. Yeah, there we go. Yeah, exactly.

That was our issue with it. See, I told you, I told you. Male camel toe. Yeah, there you go. Yeah, exactly. That was our issue with it. So I do enjoy that term, but it's not accurate at all. So we've got beef curtains. I think I'm gonna go number two pussy vag camel toast natch clam number one beef curtains box for burger thanks Aaron you the best me who won I did baby those beef curtains beaver prunettiunanny box and fur bur. I'm pussy, I'm pussy vag. Beef curtains is a rough one, but then the rest of it's pretty cool. Now

what about- I started off with a shotgun blast. Where did I go wrong on my list? Was I too just generic? Which one were you? I was pussy vag, camel toe, snatched, Clam. That's pretty generic for you, for sure. So Hatchet Wound just took you out? Yeah. We thought Chad had the best first one with Poon Tang, and then he just chopped it off with the Hatchet Wound. And then he got, came back with Coochie, and then he went the Wizard Sleeve, and he couldn't come back after that But he was a classic strider start Mm-hmm. Well, I Immediate turn right. You know what Aaron? I think moist meat missile

Would disagree with you who won on the chat poll? All right, and we'll let you get back to your family. Thanks, man. I really appreciate you. All right, guys. Love you, dog. Bye. We should call a woman and see what she thinks about it. Yeah, that's a good idea. Should we call my sister? I'm down.

No, is that like- If she's up, she'll- No, if she's up, she'll- Will she- Yeah. She'll think it's funny? She's worse than me. Oh, okay. I'm actually kind of excited to hear what that's like. She might be asleep. That's the only thing. But we can call her. I'll call her.

Okay. How does it work though? Does Jake call her? She's gonna love Hatchet Wound. She's probably asleep, unfortunately. Hi, this is Peggy. Oh, she didn't... Should I call Kennedy? Yeah. Oh, but first, Stephanie will hate this. And I already texted her if she can do it.

And she didn't respond. So she's not going to respond. This would be good if she answered. Because she knows I'm here. So she knows if we call her that it's going to be something that she's going to get embarrassed by. Nobody calls in my life. Should we call my mom?

All right. All right. I call Kennedy. Yeah, she'll answer. Hello? Hey babe, you're on the pod. Hey. What's up?

Hey, so we're on the podcast right now. Are you driving? No, I am driving. Whoa. Hey, so we're on the podcast right now. Are you driving? I am driving. Oh. Are you almost home? I am. Okay, so we did a draft.

Best nicknames for female anatomy. Um, can you, would you be down to judge it for us? Yes. And I just texted you, would you be down to judge it for us? Yes. I just texted you Chad the list if you want to forward it to her. She's driving. When do you think you'll be home? I'll be home in like four minutes. Okay I'm gonna text you the list and then when you get home we can check out the list. How about I call you in like six minutes? Okay. Don't text her which one was yours dude. I won't. You won't know which one is mine. No. Alright. Drive safe

and love you. Okay. Bye. Love you too. Bro this is a big risk by you. Because I picked, because I picked Hatchet Wound. Or what if she picks Kevin's list for vagina names? That's fine. You're comfortable with it? I'm totally comfortable with that. That's hyper masculine. I dig that dude. I'm totally comfortable.

That's bad ass bro. Yeah. What if she picks pink taco moose knuckle? You know, I don't think Joe Biden should have pardoned Hunter. What's that? You don't think Joe Biden should have pardoned Hunter. What's that? You don't think he should have? I think it was a bad look. No, I don't think he should have either.

You can't hammer Trump all the time for cronyism and nepotism and bending the rules. Yeah, that's not the answer. And then do that. You'd totally lose the higher ground. Rules for thee, but not for me. That's what everybody wanted, right? Everybody wanted lawlessness. I know. That's what we're getting. You and me are the same.

We actually, despite our immature antics at times, we really believe in institutional consistency. You know, everybody wants, everybody's getting what they wanted. So if that's what they wanted, we can't do anything about it. But I'm shocked at all the libs in my DMs who are like, he should have done it. It's his son. I would have done it. No, no. I'm like, dude. Hebs in my DMs who are like, he should have done it, it's his son, I would have done it, it's my, I'm like, dude. He said he wasn't gonna do it.

You shouldn't pardon your son if you're the fucking president. And it's wrong to do, I think in his mind, maybe he was thinking like, the psychos are coming in and they're just gonna fuck with him. But either way, normally I would say this is wrong but you know what I'm a cuck now I don't care so what whatever happens next is that's what's everybody wanted no yeah do you think he would have gotten jail time no normally this

kind of case is he would normally this kind of case is, he would normally this kind of case wouldn't got that far. He would have, my understanding is that, my understanding is that he had one where he like didn't like, one of the charges was that he didn't like pay his taxes or something like that and he actually, my understanding is he actually paid the taxes back since then and then the other one was he lied on a form about- His drug use, getting a gun. Getting a gun. These are cases that would not have gotten this far.

No, they're not regularly prosecuted. And in this normal situation- Statistically, they're not regularly prosecuted. Yeah. Even if it was prosecuted, it would have resulted in some kind of resolution before this. But having said said that I do not believe the President should be pardoning a family member at least that's what you know We'll see we'll see what happens. I'm 100% with you like it is it's a total witch hunt I do think he committed a crime, but I do think that they Overly pursued it to get back

at them for all the investigations into Trump, a lot of which I thought were silly. Like they should have just like slowed down. Kind of witch hunts on both sides. Exactly. So I don't know. I think it was a bad look. I'm actually checked out. I don't list. I mean, I got off Twitter a while ago when all I was seeing was Kid Rock shirtless.

Like in my thing, and I don't know, it's like I only follow comedians and now Kid Rock's screaming at me. So I, months ago, I deleted Twitter off my phone. And then I'm not even in the news. I'm on Instagram but they don't really, it's all just ass on Instagram. A lot of that for sure. Man ass too.

I'm seeing a lot of man ass too now. Yeah, right? Yeah. How do you feel about it? I don't know. I had a thing a few weeks ago Where the algorithm was sending me an equal amount of like it wasn't just sending me shirtless dudes But it's sending me shirtless dudes and women

like Equally and it was just it's just throwing it at you but um Yeah, hey babe throwing it at you. But yeah. Hey, babe. Did you get a chance to look at the list? I did. All right. OK. Do you want to recap?

The names. So funny, because you can see the personalities through every group. Oh, interesting. When you go through it, I want you to let us know what you're thinking about the personality of each group. I want you to cycle analyze. The first one is funny. The first one's like, okay, yeah, we all know those names.

Kind of straight to the point. So that one was good. The first one's like, okay, yeah, we all know those names. Kind of straight to the point. So that one was good. The beef curtains in Beaver kind of grossed me out. But the punani, that one was fun. That was interesting. But I'd have to say my favorite one, like off the bat was the punting the wizard sleeve.

I've never heard of that, but that was my favorite. Wow. That's why you and I are dating. Wow. Yeah, you picked daddy's list. Where'd you come up with that? Urban thesaurus. So you like your men to be creative with their names?

Chad just came in here and slam dunked in with his paramount. It's meant to be. The most creative. The most creative, okay. That means a lot. I'm glad... Can I ask you a question? I mean you guys can, when you go home, you can what about Hatchet Wound?

What did you think about that? Yeah. What do you think of Hatchet Wound? I have never heard of that and I was trying to imagine it. Now, Erin was pretty disturbed by it. Huh. But then I like I thought about it and I was like, oh, OK, I kind of get it. But I was like, that's just like I've never heard of that. So I It's it's intent. It's intense, but beef curtains gross you out more I noticed you didn't say anything about the last there's no way beef curtains grosses you out more than hatchet

I think it's because when I was younger and like in middle school, I don't know, there's something with that word. I just don't like. All right. I hate to do this to you, but the imagery behind that is just, but a hatchet wound is they're talking about like if you stab someone with a hatchet, I think she pulled it out. That's what a vagina looks like. But I think, I think what she's saying is that in middle school, boys, they'd go to beef curtains as their number one insult.

And I knew a girl who had them. Oh, yeah. So did I. She used to have to tuck them in when she went to the beach. Beef curtains is sort of discriminatory towards a certain, when women think of it, they go, oh, do I have beef curtains? They don't think all. Dude, that's 100% fair, but you got to look at it the way I look at it, where I've never

discriminated against beef curtains. That's why it was my number one pick. You like beef curtains. I love beef curtains. And to me, all... We should all have beef curtains. What about the last list? You didn't say anything about that. The last one? Yeah. The canal. I was like, why the canal? Yeah, if a guy told you that was like a fastball, like that was just a slam dunk name, what

would you think about that dude post him saying that? I was like, yeah, he could have done better. Okay, what about Moose Knuckle? What did that, what came to mind when you heard the Moose Knuckle? The Moose Knuckle made me laugh. I was like, you know that was- Do you know what a moose knuckle is? No. It's actually a ball sack. It's not even a female part. It's when a guy has like a camel toe through his balls. Oh my god. Not be biased towards the judge, Kevin. Okay. Well, baby, you were awesome. Thank you so much for taking a look and for judging and uh. I mean, I think you guys are gonna, this is, this is a big moment in your relationship. This is huge. It's really beautiful. Yeah, it is beautiful. That is such a beautiful moment. I mean, to have your sig, oh. I just didn't know you knew these things. Oh yeah,

he knows a lot. We should, maybe I'll, maybe I'll break out wizard sleep more in the home. You know that shows we can't generalize all women. Like we would think all women would be you know horrified and mortified by hatchet wound just like Erin, a father of a daughter was just mortified by thinking of hatchet wound. it speaks to male fear of the vaginal and how we are by its reality whereas like Chad in his grotesque love of it is actually most unafraid okay bye did you just make it dinner she okay okay okay that was a great moment that's a pretty sick that, you can't, you can't hate on that. You know, even though she didn't pick our picks, that was a moment.

That was pretty awesome. Of minds. That was, you guys connected from different areas. And you can look at my text, I did not let her know that it was me. No, I believe you. Cause just the way she was talking about it is so real. Yeah. Do you feel good?

I feel great. Do you feel like you won even if you didn't get Aaron's pick? Yeah, I do. I think we should have her judge every draft. Will you last in Aaron's? Oh, yeah. It'll last. Okay. Should we take a call? Yep. Oh, I think I got one. I mean, your lady, she picked your vagelist. That's incredible how she, because she said I've never

heard these words. So, you haven't been saying she has a wizard sleeve, right? You never said wizard sleeve to her? No, but I think I'm gonna start. Just an incredible moment. And you can't, you can't, uh, you can't doctor those magical moments. That was just, I think we just witnessed love. I'm looking for a real love. Yo. What up? What up? Uh.

Am I with the Stokewoods? Yes, sir. You are What's your name friend? Yeah, how's your moose knuckle hanging? It's hanging good. Nice What's your name friend? Okay, my name is Billy. I'm calling from Milwaukee nice sick Yeah, bro.

So, I had a question. You guys are legends, so I need your advice. So, I'm a 30-year-old gym teacher, and I've got a pretty dank apartment, and I want to throw an epic holiday rager. And I've never really hosted before and I want to just make it epic as possible because actually a couple weeks ago I met this chick at the gym coincidentally. And you know, the first day we went to the Olive Garden. You know, all you can eat breadsticks. And I think I'm an invited to this party.

So I just need some advice on how to make it just look awesome in my apartment. Well, that's a great question. And what a worthwhile endeavor. Thank you. I mean, I think you want it to feel like you, but you want it to feel universal at the same time. I think you're going to want to start off with a beer that connects with everybody.

For me, Milwaukee's best. Is that too collegey? I think that's too college-y. I think you want to upscale it a little bit. And for me as someone who's being paid I go Easy Rider. Dude, yeah. I think you gotta get 20 30 racks of easy rider make a throne

in your apartment and have kegs of easy rider on tap so when people come to the party you're sitting on a throne of easy rider and then they say what do we do and you go ho ho ho do a keg stand oh that gets the the party started you're literally easy riding easy rider and then do you think this chick will be impressed by that yeah 100 and then i think dude Yeah, 100 percent. And then I think, dude, you get someone like Kevin the Schmolen with an acoustic guitar, rips some, rips some sick songs. I think you have something cool playing on the TV. MSNBC. MSNBC.

Rachel Maddow. Rachel Maddow, yeah. She's soldier, just took a big pay cut Kev, what do you think I? Think you just You just invite everybody over And you just you just whip it out whip what out just whip it out what wait what we're talking about you whip out your dick is that not you don't you can do is that what you do at holiday parties? That's not what you do holiday party. I

Mean I usually just get an ugly sweater and oh, yeah. No. Yeah. Yeah get a Jesus wear ugly sweater and then be like You want to see My dick What do you think about that Billy? Do you think I should just be that forward with this chick? No. There's going to be other people also. No. What are you guys telling this guy?

There's a chick involved? I thought it was just your bro's. No. Dude, do a- No. No, don't whip it out in front of a girl. I thought it was just your- I was going to say. Dude friend. Yeah, it's a terrible idea. Sorry sorry dude um maybe do an ice sculpture yeah and then pour the easy rider down that and have people lose it and whatnot yeah that'd be sick

and dude also get a smoke machine because that always adds mystery and kind of a production value to a good festivity. And then also, invite different friend groups. You wanna have at least five different friend groups intermingling at this shindig. Yeah, and then get some Adderall, crush it up. Have some people snort it off your dick. Yeah, I feel like you're leading me astray, Kevin. Oh.

Are we having a part? I think you're thinking of a... I think you're thinking of a sex party. A sex party? That's different from a holiday party. A holiday party is... Nothing sexual. Oh.

Okay. Have some Magic Mind there. Some Manscaped. Buzzers. Yeah. Don't be afraid to call BetterHelp. And then I think... What kind of music should I play? I think you should play...

Cry for You by September on repeat. Nice. I like the repeat idea. That's a good idea. Yeah. And then I think you should, when you see the lady that you're interested in, just be like, I'm trying to get up in that wizard sleeve. Yeah, you know about them wizard sleeves?

Yeah, actually. That's the line I should use? Yeah, refer to it as her wizard sleeve. Or hatchet wound. If she's into it, you'll know she's the one. Yeah. Actually, Jay, can you text this dude our list and we'll see which one he likes the most? Okay, let me see. Beefnip says we're gonna get you locked up, do you agree?

Wait, wait what? Nevermind. Look, look, okay I just sent you our list, we ranked the best nicknames for Female Anatomy, will you tell us which one you like the most of those groups? Okay, rank them. Okay, I'm looking. I mean, Moose Knuckle kind of reminds me of the holidays. And why does it remind you of the holidays if you can explain to us in detail?

Just because like the moose like kind of reminds me of the winner okay it's like a winner now when you see a moose knuckle how does that make you feel makes me feel at peace does it make you feel aroused? I wouldn't say necessarily aroused but just more just like comfortable. All right we'll leave it at that. Yeah. Keep your evaluation going. I also like, the patch Wound is just, I mean it's a little creepy, it's a little creepy but it makes me laugh. I mean the classic is just, Pussy's like, just like, that's a classic, all American. Uh, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I That's a classic. All-American. Camel toe is funny because you see people like at the gym and in like my gym, they like have that and it's December. It's like, what are you wearing but I like it so what who's your

winner yeah I gotta go moose knuckle that is a well that's a good place to end actually thank you but. Thanks for calling in. Thank you for calling in. Should we? Dude, yeah. Mistletoe, bunch of easy rider. Thanks man. And Kevin.

You guys are the best. You're the best man. Later. Kevin, thanks for coming on tonight man. You're an absolute legend. Moosenuckle won the day. Oh yeah, it makes some people feel comfortable during the holiday season. When you need someone to guide you, There's always a path that's close beside you. Going free, going free,

That's the key, of going free, Of the challenge I take.