Going Deep with Chad and JT - EP 391 - DRAFT - BEST PICKUP LINES

Episode Date: June 4, 2025

Today we are joined by Strider Wilson and Kevin Fard to DRAFT - The Best Pickup Lines. Kevin starts us off hot with a new DONG SONG and has a dramatic breakdown mid pod when he realizes he might of missed the mark of this draft. Each bro will make 4 selections and will give a dank reasoning behind each one to get the judges approval. Today we have a LIVE chat voting and we also call JT's mom to get a females perspective on judging! Let us know who you think won in the comments! #chadandjt #goingdeepwithchadandjt  We are live streaming a Fully unedited version of the pod on Twitch, if you want to chat with us while we're recording, follow here:   https://www.twitch.tv/chadandjtgodeep   Grab some dank merch here:https://shop.chadandjt.com/ Come see us on Tour! TEMPE, AZ is the next stop!Get your tix - http://www.chadandjt.com TEXT OR CALL the hotline with your issue or question: 323-418-2019(Start with where you're from and name for best possible advice) Check out the reddit for some dank convo:   https://www.reddit.com/r/ChadGoesDeep/  Here is the Total Draft Standings: (s/o HandA on reddit)Chad: 11 wins JT: 13 wins Strider: 12 wins Chris Parr: 10 winsBrad Fuller: 1 win (The Ultimate Champ)Joe Marrese: 1 winKevin Fard: 0 wins (Going for his first today) PRODUCTION & EDITS BY: Jake Rohret #bestpickuplines #pickuplines #draft #mountrushmore

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Have you ever seen one? Have you ever seen one long? Good job, man! Da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da Yeah, that was killer dude. Dude, yeah, you really got that. That was nice. That was good, bro.

You need to do a live concert. Yes, dude. Take a guitar. How about a roadie dude? How about a please and a thank you? Be careful. Okay. Jason, man.

The Gentle Chodes need to do a live show. Yeah. The Gentle Chodes? We do a live show. I know, but like- Once a month at the comedy store. I'm talking like the true. Like a full set. Fucking guy could take exception to anything. Yeah I'm talking. He's got to disagree on everything always. Yeah he just did it again. I'm talking the Troubadour. The Troubadour? Do you think we could sell tickets to that? Yeah. No but that's not the point. Yeah yeah. Oh okay. You guys could open at the Fonda. Dude. Yeah.

That was beautiful. Is that Verve Pipe or is that Oasis? That's the V point. Yeah, yeah. Oh, OK. You guys could open at the Fonda. Dude, that was beautiful. Is that Verve Pipe or is that Oasis? That's the Verve. But they do look like. They took it from a Rolling Stones song. They're paying out on that forever. But it looked like a. Is that when he's walking down the street?

No, what's the. Yeah. And it's from the end of Cruel Intentions. It's one of the killer bangers. It's so good. What a banger. Do they do Lucky Man too? I think so.

That's a good song. I love that song. You they do Lucky Man too? I think so. That's a good song as well. I love that song. You could do Cucky Man. Oh, Cucky Man would be great. Why do you look scared? What's up? I don't look scared. I'm just listening to you guys talk.

We're inspired by your musicality. You do look scared, dude. I'm trying to- Now we're ripping on your musicality. Also, JT, dare I say, that is the greatest pickup line of all time. Is a dude playing the fucking guitar. Dare I say, that the greatest pickup line of all time. Is a dude playing the fucking guitar. Dare I say that's the best transition of all time.

Guys, we are on the clock today, it's my fault, I'm sorry, I gotta be somewhere. But we're drafting and I know we've had some that haven't hit as hard as some of the other ones we've done. You know, we were coming from sex, best place to have sex and that was a hit. People were super psyched on that.

We followed that up with best podcasts of all time, we fell off a cliff and turned from excitement. And then, you know, we did hottest guys, but we didn't have Stride Dog for that. But now we're at full strength and we're doing a great one. This one's gonna hum, this one's gonna sing, this one's gonna be the one. We're doing the best pickup lines of all time.

The stakes are huge, dude. JT, I was practicing today before the podcast. That's what I was asking. Did you go out and sarge at all? For sure, I was just talking to, I was opening up two sets, three sets. I was at the beach, I was at the grocery store, dude, just talking to, at the tanning salon before they signed up, acting like I worked there,

just going, what up, what up, what are you doing here? What was your name? Negging? It's not even a good tan. You did some nagging? Yeah, I got kicked out of a few businesses. I go to a bank vestibule, you know, just sitting like where the ATMs are.

What up? Dude, you want to see my account? What up? All right, well let's get into it. That's cool then getting into like their private information. Yeah. Yeah, what's your social?

Yeah. Did you, do you hit on any chicks in prep? I mean, that's what I've been doing all morning, dude. All right, good. I freaking started at the, you know, started at Starbucks. Like Kev's face. Hit on all the baristas, including dudes.

And then, you know, got my car washed, hit on the car wash dudes. I must say hit on dudes this morning. Good, you gotta figure out what works for them. Yeah. Because that's what's gonna work for us. Also dude, I did a little recon. I hit on all your guys' wives and GFs this morning.

I called them up. Oh, dude, that was you? I was like, I go, what up? Dude, just, yeah, did you see what was Kennedy being charmed?s this morning. I called him up. I was like, what up dude? Just yeah, did you see was Kennedy being charmed? Oh, I mean she I like she like the whole bed was wet And I was like what happened that was me. Yeah, I called I was like Yeah, I was wondering I was like I was like I knew she was going at it But I was like I didn't know that you were kind of charming her here. That's sick, dude That's funny because I was hitting on your dad

I called your dad and I made him come dude. He was in the best mood ever when I get your dad's really happy Cuz I called him up and I was like, what's up cutie? How you living? Do that was you? That's wild Wilson he was dr. Wilson. Yeah, dude exactly. Yeah, I love when you call him doctor. That's okay. I made your dad bust Dude, I was like candy was like this morning. She like what were you been up to? I'm like just trying to get some dick. Dude yeah. Yeah. I'm just scoring dick. All right Kevin let's get it going. Odds are evens. One two three shoot. Oh come on. He threw a five. Oh my god technically works. Did you do an edible? No. I'm just listening to you guys that's

all all right once you'll do it again do it again yeah one two three shoot did you get you can't do it like that yeah you got it it's got like you're high yeah one two three shoot oh fuck hey so we're gonna my mom's gonna be the judge if you guys are good with that dude. That's amazing could be good Oh, yeah, yeah, your mom's gonna judge. Yeah, good. That's amazing. All right, one two three shoot Damn third. Okay, you guys rock paper scissors now Wait, that's a three or just one Just one. Okay No, that's unbelievable

You're still a little early. There it is. Oh, number one pick. You got it. Evil prevails, dude. All right, Kevin, what's the number one pick-up line of all time? This is huge.

This is huge. I had a question. Am I allowed to ask questions or are we on a hard out? Of course you are. Okay. So it just has to be like pick-up lines that you would say to a woman or could it be like pick-up lines,

like just pick-up lines we've seen whatever you think other people have done the pickup line that's up to you yeah okay I'm just I felt a little uncomfortable with this topic because you know I know we're joking and all that but none of us are good at picking up women I've seen all of us in action don't don't think about that Str Strider. We're all horrible at this. I famously have no game. That's not true. We have no game.

I have tons of game. You have tons of game. He's got laid like crazy. Tons of game. Bro, I was knee deep in coups all the time. From pickup lines? From everything, dude. Yes, my pickup lines are fire.

You're gonna see it right now. I'll prove it today. Okay. Yeah, I don't know what your, look, you have your mission with your list. I have my mission with my list, dude. So you know, do what you do here and we'll see how it lands, brother. You actually do have game too. You're just afraid to own it on camera. You're a handsome guy who's musically talented.

Yeah, you're a good talker. And then I'm struggling because, like, should I go with a genuine, like, pickup line or should I go with try to be funny? This is always what I struggle with. I think the number one pickup line here is probably the most boring pickup line, but this is the best pickup line Yeah, this is the best pickup line How are you my name is what's your name? Okay Brass tacks, it's an introduction. Straight forward, common, I like it. Straight forward, brass tacks. Just an introduction. Good. Dynamite.

What's your name? Electric. How are you, what's your name? You're not saying your name first? Is that how you want it? Yeah. Oh, wait. Okay.

How are you, my name's- Just write, like a name introduction. Wow, yeah, a lot of confidence coming from Kevin right now. Hi, my name is Kev, something like that. You know what I'm saying? Something like that. Now here, wow. Names. Yeah, I was is Kev. Something like that. You know what I'm saying? Something like that. Now here, wow. Names. Yeah. I was a virgin until I was 24. That's a good comment by the chat. That's true. How are you? How are you doing? I was extreme in that direction and extreme in the other

direction. How about change it to hi, my name is. Hi, my name is. What? Who? My name is. Just intro. Just an intro done. Slim Shady. So yeah. maybe... It's not gonna look good on paper, but... Do you want to roleplay it a little bit? Yeah, let's do it. Kevin is just zapping the game out of all of us right now. Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Game drain.

Hey, lady. Pick me up, pick me up. Pick me up. Hey, lady, can I suck on those big ass melons? Is that what you wanted? That's good. Yeah. I don't mind that.

I mean, that's still on the table. Are you the woman or am I the... Am I the man? That's good. Yeah. I don't mind that. I mean, that's still on the table. Okay, are you the woman or am I the man? Yeah. Okay. Hey. How you doing, sugar plum? Hey, hey. Oh, sorry.

Hey, hey. Sorry. I saw an opportunity, I took it. I'm sorry. I felt a tingle right there. Hi, my name is Kevin. What's your name? Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Get the hell away from me. Disaster. Look, total disaster. Shoot. That sucked. What's your name? Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa But this relies on... Yeah, try to get it. I'll be the girl. I'll be the girl. Yeah, I'll have a gin and tonic. Okay, one gin and tonic coming up. Okay, perfect. Thank you. Hi, nice to meet you. My name's Kevin.

What's your name? Oh, that's a fucking awful. That felt brutal. It's okay. My name's Melissa. Oh, nice to meet you. Where are you from, Melissa? Ontario.

Ontario. California, not Canada. Those are some nice jugs you have, Melissa. Did you get those from your mom? I'm Ontario. Ontario. California, not Canada. Those are some nice jugs you have, Melissa. Did you get those from your mom? That's pretty good. See, it leads into other stuff. I think you're getting better.

Yeah, you got there. But you got to introduce yourself. I wanted to just, yeah, yeah, just the introduction, just a basic introduction. Hi, my name is, yeah, that's good, that's strong. Chad, you're up. All right, this is a classic. This is simple. This is straightforward. This shows riz right off the top,

this breaks the ice, it shows them that you're confident, you're cool, and you're man a few words, which I think exudes the most amount of confidence. And it's the phrase that'll get, you know, just, I've said it to many a lady and dude, I've never hooked up with a dude, but you know if I'm trying to get dick in the future You know this is what I'd say What up? Strong beautiful. It's beautiful well delivered to you put the right amount of sauce on yeah

You just walk up and then nothing else you just wait for wait for her to respond. That's game right there. That's game Yeah, I'll try it on you, okay? for her to respond. That's game right there. That's game. Yup. I'll try it on you. Okay. Wait, can you give me like a description of what I look like?

Okay, yeah, so you're a blonde with huge tits. No. That's exactly my type. Yeah. Holy shit, dude. That's it. Fuck, that's exactly my type. I know, I know.

Okay. Wait, wait, wait, wait, okay. Wait, wait. wait, wait, okay. Wait, wait. What are you doing? Are you taking a dump, dude? No, I'm just, I'm a blonde. I'm a blonde with big tits. This is what I imagine.

What up? Oh, hi. That's a good what up. That was a great what up. Strong. Hi. Yeah? Oh, uh, fuck.

Okay. Oh, okay. So, uh, you want a drink? Um, uh, sure. Okay. Just to be sure, JT, I'll be my dad. Will you be you? Just to be sure if this works be my dad, will you be you? Just to be sure if this works.

Hey Dr. Wilson, how's your day going? I'm busy, you know, living a retired life, but just thinking about past patients and hoping that their lives are okay. Oh, that's very compassionate of you. You know, you're so busy, you're such a big family, you're such a successful guy. Do you ever get time for yourself? No. No one ever just takes care of you?

No, I'm always working around the clock, it seems, even though I'm living a retired life. Do you ever get time for yourself? No. No one ever just takes care of you? No, I'm always working around the clock it seems. Even though I'm living the retired life. I'm far away from you but I feel right next to you. And I think I can lend a helping hand just through the way I'm talking to you. Will you do me a favor? Sure. Will you take that talented hand of yours that saves so many lives? Will you help it save one more, put it where it feels good?

Oh yeah. Holy shit, I haven't been a wreck in at least the better part of a decade. You got hard really fast. Oh my god, yeah. You're such a virile guy, Dr. Wilson. JT, this is incredible. Yeah? I know you're in a hurry.

I know you gotta get back to work, so why don't you finish for me? Good boy. Don't break your car. Good boy. Alright, love you, Dr. Wilson. I love you. Alright, I'll call you in a couple weeks. Wait, were you playing the game? I was playing the game. I was playing the game. I boy. Good boy. Good boy. Good boy. Good boy.

Good boy. Good boy. Good boy. Good boy. Good boy. Good boy. Good boy. Good boy.

Good boy. Good boy. Good boy. Good boy. Good boy. Good boy. Good boy. Good boy.

Good boy. Good boy. Good boy. Good boy. Good boy. Good boy. Good boy. Good boy. Good boy. Good boy. Good boy. Good boy. Good boy. Okay, did you really took a nice long walk there? I was just gonna see if the what-up worked, but that way what you did was even more gorgeous. All right here we go

Look my list is gonna be so called us all virgins who the fuck said that in the chat The fuck said that dude get him get him say to my face bitch, dude, uh Let's see. Oh my list is gonna be compiled for you know, if you're the top 10% of dudes You're a hot guy kind of what you say doesn't matter. Shut up. We don't like you with WB It works for you. It works for you. Just shut up boys You can wear olive pants and it looks great, you know in a white linen shirt You can be in linen in a pool all the time. Shut up dude stuff works for you You're hot and then there's some creepy dude mutant Paul Dano types

that I just can't help you. Okay, I'm sorry, no matter what you do, you got active shooter energy. I don't know if I'm gonna be able to help you. Hierarchical reality, bro. But for the 80% of dudes, my list is geared towards you, my friends. Wow.

I fall amongst you, and hopefully this will help out. Okay, here's a scenario. I've got scenarios, okay? You're at a park. Maybe you're at the park by the silver lake. Maybe you're even at a beach and you're breaking the rules a little bit and your line is gonna be,

oh my gosh, sorry, sit. My dog seems to really like you. Smart, dude. So, dude, I really like this. You are talking to your dog who went up towards a lady and you're going oh sit, I'm so sorry. My dog just, he really likes you. Wow.

So it's sticking your dog on them. Yep. Yeah Garth does that, he goes up and licks people. You better buy a jumbo pack of Trojan rubbies because you're gonna be getting laid after this little. Dude, okay so here's, oh okay, okay, so here's, oh, okay, okay. Oh, sit.

No, no, oh, oh, sorry. No, so Jager has to go. Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry. Sit Sunny is my dog's name, whatever your dog's name, sit Sunny. It's just, my dog seems to really like you. Damn, that's a really strong pick. That's really, fuck. You have to have a really strong pick. That's really fuck.

You have to have a dog. And what does that show this woman? Sits that you have your independent shows you can care for something compassionate, nurturing, correct. It shows also you're a leader, even though technically in this scenario or not being a great leader, the dog is gone off on its own, but that's fine. You're training. How do you get the dog to actually approach her and act like it likes you have to have

a dog that just does that. You throw bits of string cheese. Oh. At her feet? Yep. What you do is the night before you bury string cheese all over the beach and park. So your dog will go sniffing all over for it.

Right, right, right. Okay. You have to, yeah, the night before. No, no, okay, just throw it, sorry. Throwing some variables in there. What if it starts sniffing her coos? That's, oh, then you go, oh my gosh, I'm so, so sorry. What if it takes a shit?

Not for you son, for me later. Are you on your period? Yeah, that's a good catch. Dude, you know what's even better? Are you pregnant? Yeah. Cause dogs can sense that. Your hormones are off, my dog can tell.

What's going on with you? That's really good. That's exactly right. Are you at a balance with your period? Have you tried a holistic diet of dick? Oh my gosh, very bold of you would wear a bathing suit while you're menstruating. Yeah. Oh, you know what?

My dog's about to enter heat. Are you in heat? Do human women get heat? Yeah. Let's talk about that. They ovulate. Okay, so that, I think that works great. You're starting a conversation then. Dude, so I'm going to piggyback off Strider's direction. I think he did something very smart

there. He took the male... When a guy hits on a woman, right, it looks... Sometimes it's too much. It's often too much. That's what makes us afraid to do it. So you put the dog in there as a buffer, right? Yes. Now you're working through the dog. I think that's very intelligent. That is the best way to go at it. I'm going to take that and go a step above. My number one pickup line of all time will give you the biggest ROI is, I'm sorry, miss. Is this guy bothering you? Because here's the thing dude, chicks don't like dudes. So if you're hitting on a girl, you're trying to be a cool dude, you're fighting a losing battle. They don't like you, they're looking to kind of devalue you. That's just the way it is, man. That's the way nature made it happen.

What you got to do is not be a cool dude. You got to just be cooler than the dude next to you. Yep. Be the better option. Women are great white sharks. They're swimming at you. They're going to maul you. They're going to take a bite and leave you to die because you weren't what they were looking for anyway. They were looking for a seal. But in order to escape that shark, you've just got to be able to swim faster than the dude swimming next to you. That's all it is. Then you circle back and you woo that shark with fresh chum.

It's got great historical significance. If it happens in reality, dude, you're literally saving a chick from her worst nightmare, a bad dude. Yeah. JT, you can actually go up and do that, or you could have a wingman who goes up and like me, Schmoll, you would be very good at this, going up bothering a woman, just going up and bothering, maybe going up and- So you have to have a plant. You have a plant, yeah, you have a shield. This is called-

It works better if you're one in a two man. There's no doubt about it. You got your buddies. But your premise requires- He's playing the kamikaze. A girl to be basically being harassed by a guy. No, no, no, no, no. Because you can even say it if she's not talking to a guy.

It's just a funny thing to say. You're saying if she's alone. You can go up to a woman who's alone and go, I'm sorry miss, is this guy bothering you? Let's do it. Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. Excuse me miss. Yeah? Is this guy bothering you?

There's no one there. My name's JT, good to meet you. Hi, I'm Jessica. I love it. And then you laugh, you go, oh my gosh. Sorry. Sorry, I know that was a little much for me to come at you. It's actually, no, I just had to talk to you.

This happened to me in real life and it didn't work. I was in Washington, DC. I was interning in Congress. Everybody's really stressed out in Washington, DC. Everybody that lives there, we're at a bar, okay? This was happening. A girl was next to me like not in. I don't know if it was like loosely their friend group or whatever.

This guy was on her heart. It was on her heart, annoying the shit out of her. And she comes up to me and she she says, hey, you know, she does that. Hey, can you pretend to be like my boyfriend type of thing? Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I said sure so I do it for her and then you were even worse than the one I get her yeah she get the guy off her back and then I wasn't even worse I was like so just trying to talk to her so you know what's your name all that shit and and and she looked at me and she's all oh

you're trying to fucking hit on me too and then boom she's gone you just missed a layup, brother I'm saying sometimes if the girls being bothered and you know you can alpha that guy But sometimes the girl just doesn't want to be bothered by anything. That's true Nothing's a hundred percent especially when you're the one executing it All right, all right, I gotta come at you dude just cuz I gotta do it Yeah, go baby Come on brother. All right. All right. I gotta come at you dude. Just cuz I gotta do it Yeah, go baby. I mean, I think those are great picks, but they both rely on a little bit of manipulation. This is true

Oh, whoa, dude, that's crazy getting laid takes manipulation. Well, I mean saying what up Did you say what up? There's no manipulation straight forward I mean, yeah, bro, you look you picked before us if What up would have been there I would have taken no I wouldn't know dude, but I mean what up is strong I've thrown what ups but you gotta ask you so who won what up isn't putting you in a position to get that second line And you know get maximum value my dog seems to like you. I mean I like the idea It was a killer one. It's an action though. You know what my wife said her first one was exactly what you picked right there Oh really she when I was running pick up lines by her She's like you wife said her first one was exactly what you picked right there. Oh really? When I was running pick up lines by her she was like,

you could do that. And I was like, so that would have been, if it came back to me I would have taken that. Women like it, yeah. Women like heroes dude. So women want to see you alpha another man. Well not alpha but also protect her, you know what I mean?

Yeah. That is a man. We're sentinels dude, that's the thing. When you're sergeant- I'm a actor by nature Protector from that guy's dick with your dick. Yeah, sure. Yeah, I'll fucking pull my penis out there in nature There's animals that have like scoopers on their wiener that pulls out the previous animals jism. Yeah Tell you reproduce dude, so you continue your line that's real. All right, dude with my next pickup line This one actually secured the bag with a bonafide hottie out in the world

It wasn't me who did the execution on it, but it's famously been circulated by the woman it worked on I'm talking about olivia wild a lot of people like how did jason sadekas pull it bro? It's transcripted, dude. She talked about it on Stern. He rolled up on her at an SNL after party where he already had status because he was crushing on the cast at the time. He saw her on the dance floor, having a good time.

And he went up to her and said, hey, whatever it is you're looking for, you're not gonna find it here. And then he walked. Whoa. Because here's the thing, dude. pretty girls always feel like they could be somewhere better so Dacus understood that on a fundamental level and he went straight at it and made it seem like that somewhere better could be with him bang

bang bang that's radical did you end up finding what she was looking for you wrote it yeah they got married but then they broke up. Okay, you know, that's life. That's like Jake you heard it wrong. Cool the way you say you're not gonna find what you're looking for walk away Yeah, what is it chill? What you're looking for whatever you're looking for whatever you're looking for you're not gonna find it here But he was there right? Yeah, but she ended up finding him so he was lying no no he was hologrammed in dude but he did talk style but he dipped oh so he was technically not there it was so that's the key to a lot of these two is like you don't want to stick around sometimes you hit the

line and then you move but that's assuming she would know how to contact him what if she doesn't know the Fuck you are it's a good point that it's not necessarily a pickup line It's in an adjacent category a drive-through line and they're both valuable But I'm conflating them because we're probably not gonna do a drive-through line draft But so you but you're saying you can't do that in a bar because Chat just call me a virgin again Fucking problem dude, then let's fuck then let quack? You got a fucking problem, dude? Then let's fuck.

Then let's fuck and see who the virgin isn't, dude. But JT, we gotta get. Sorry. What do you do, what is your advice to the bros that are hitting on a chick in a bar and they've never met before? You can't just walk away. You know, I think this line is also a stand-in banger.

I think you can say this one and then see what happens next. I think it's got versatility. Just leave the bar? No, no, it can be a move and cook or it can be a stand and bang. It works in both. All right. I lost my Virginia 24, but I was in love. Can you say that?

Are we deleting the walk away? And it was to Strider's dad. No, I think that's part of it. The walk away is just an action. You can add an action to it. Leave the walk away. You can add an action to it. The walk away now? And it was to Strider's dad. No, I think that's part of it. The walk away is just an action. You can add an action to it. No, you can leave the walk away. You can add an action to it. The walk away is cool.

I like the walk away. Look, I came in strong on my list. It's really just the only line I've got, right? These other ones, it's scenarios, okay? Now, you're gonna have to be, no, it's too corny. I don't wanna go corny. I don't want any clever corny stuff on my list.

Oh. Okay. All right? But you need to have, you need to make choices when you're going out and you're meeting someone, okay? You can't just, there will be some spur of the moment stuff but I'm saving that for later. These are stuff that's like, here's your game plan,

you studied my list, you're going out, you've called up your buddy, this is what we gotta do, okay? Now, in this next one, you're at the beach, okay? Where I'm at, you're out in parks, you're at the daytime hours, you're not at a bar, you're at the beach, you're hopefully with some buddies and you have a volleyball. Okay, and this is a classic scenario or football works. You've seen this in American Pie. You go deep, you fall down, you get the catch.

So once again, your buddy throws it deep by some girls, the ball goes around there, you have to manipulate, you have to be athletic to some girls, the ball goes around there, you have to manipulate, you have to be athletic to execute this, the ball goes there, the girls are laying out whatever, they're gonna have to throw you the ball back, she throws you the ball back, you go, great throw. That's amazing, hey, do you want to come play some volleyball with me and my buddies?

Boom. So you compliment her with, hey, good arm. I hate to be a- Hey, good arm or great throw. Can we come up with a phrase for this? Like the- I'm gonna inject to this. The chuckin' truck.

The chuckin' truck is nice. Or the, this could be the ultimate pickup line because now you're gonna play pickup volleyball or pickup basketball. Yeah. So it's good, but it's gotta be like a Stiffler in your brain. Imagine the Stiffler going deep to the Oz Striker. He lays out, Oh my gosh,

I'm so sorry. It does take some looks, but it's an intro. We're going to call it the Oz Striker splash. This is not a pickup line. This is very good. It's not a pickup line. I'm going to have to object to both. I have to take you out because it's, I see you're going to win this. I'm going to have to object to both of yours. Both of yours are actions. Yes, the active. And then you're just like, oh, hey, after the action. But they're all, the primary,

the primary factor of all of your picks is an action. Yes. So, you know, I'm gonna go slap them on the butt. So, by your rationale, deaf people don't pick up women? Yeah, dude, that's really messed up. No, they do pick up women, but they do it with sign language or Morse. They don't do an action that leads into an introduction.

You're telling me a deaf dude can't run a three-step shallow slam and do a two-set? Are we doing pick-up lines? Hey, look, it's a fair point. It's been marked and it'll be part of the judging. We'll see what my mom says. I think Jake maybe like something like oh uh um sorry uh that was a bad throw by my buddy yeah put that

there I love saying sorry that was a bad throw by my brother okay now have it by my dangerous precedent have him get 75 percent of the votes on my life apologize to a woman okay yeah take the sorry out say hey bad bad I think, bad. That was a bad throw. That was a bad throw by my buddy at the beach. What if you actually hit her? What? No, no, no, no, no. It's got to land in the sand close by. It's all right. And ideally you come get the ball. Thank you. Okay. So, dude, actually one thing you could do is not even have you just smoke a spiral at a chick. Catch her in the dome. I've done that. I've gone to the beach, just seen a hot four set sitting there and just hooked a Joe Montana laser dude. What about?

Bang right off her head. I'm like, Oh my bad. That was a bad throw by me, but look alive. What about this? What about this? And her friends are like, I think she's concussed. I'm like, let me go check on her. Dude, you know what you need to get is one of those eyes. Make sure she's you want to come hit what are they calling a beer? What does almond raw catch balls from the, they put them in the little thing. It shoots balls out. He catches like 201 balls. Oh yeah. You gotta take one of those machines to the beach with you, dude. Just sit up on the bluff and just launch them at girls laying out.

I have a machine dude. It's got a joke. machine dude it's called a jugs machine dude the jugs machine they named it that dude that's wild buddy bro that's how it got it's name i know even what you can add to this to make it like to really kind of neg them a little bit so you beam them with a ball right? just right in the dome yeah exactly you come over and you're like i said heads up that means you should look up oh dude hey that's my thing jake put heads up in there

just like really really disrespect them jake you put heads, you were really young. I said head's up, you gotta pay attention when that shit comes out. Wait, do they call it a jugs machine because it looks like two jugs? Say head's up. Why is it called a jugs machine? Head's up first. That was a bad throw.

Yeah, head's up. That was a bad throw by my buddy. Yeah, that was a bad throw by my buddy. That's a fire one. Alright, we, but you know what? Dude, that's a great line line dude. This is how freaking Havener got that one girl dude. Dude you're doing a good job you're setting up real scenes where it makes it easier for the dialogue that will follow. Yeah use

the scenario. I think the shortcoming of your two guys is what comes next. So I'm curious Kev, what's next? Okay well how about, I'm not gonna, this is my pit, I'm just gonna, how about how about I just bring a fucking fat stack of fucking money and then walk by a girl on the beach, oops, is that $500,000? Women aren't all into money, Kevin. Women aren't all into money. And then my line is, oops, is that all my money?

That's not a pick-up line. That's a good point. No, because women aren't all into money, dude. They're into freaking athletic dudes and good catches and dogs. But yeah, Kevin, just make your pick and we'll see you know Oh, sorry Chad alright, so I'm gonna set up the scene. This is how I got my lady This is how I got my chick dude my fiancee and guess what we boned like 20 days after I said this shit

Like 20 days 20 days damn yeah You know we we spread it out, and she was just so turned on she's I'm like, nah, not not not not yet She's begging for that. She's chillin for and I was like, you know back away. Yeah You can't even have this dick yet. You kept her prime For scratching at the window, did you scratch and I would walk around with a boner and she was like look at She's peeping Tom and me and I was like, I was like what? Yeah, I hang my laundry on my boner With a boner the whole time you're on a date three hours all the time just fat boner dude And so here's how I picked her up

so So I went up to her let's set scene, we're at a Zed show. The beats are banging. Zed's just on the speaks and he's just, wicka wicka wicka. So I go up to her and I'm like, hey, where's your sister? And she's like, I think she's left. I'm like, oh, I can talk to you. Cool.

Dude, this is a good move. That's for real. This is the highest level of Interest in the other girl. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Hey, where's your sister? Hey, where's your sister? It would be nice. But what if she doesn't have a sister? I'm just trying to where's your friend? Yeah, where's your friend This is your robot, bro To be fair to your lady, too, they are twin sisters, right? They are twins, yeah.

And to be, I mean, no, I'm not going to break character. I don't fucking know. Yeah, don't do that. I had a boner the whole time, dude. That's the thing, dude. You have to be, that's a good note that you just said there, Chad, is when you're in the mindset of sergeing like this, you can't break character. You got to go full commit, dude.

And honestly, you loved her right out the gates, but you also understood you had to make her chase it a bit, so you put her into kind of an inferior position just initially so she'd work for it. Yeah, exactly. But that was coming from a place of love, because you knew you were gonna take care of her on the back end. Exactly, dude.

And that's what I've been telling her ever since, because she's like, what was that line? I'm like, yeah, I just had to kind of put you in your place a little bit before I took you to Sush. And dude, you'll do some stuff where you still hold the power in the relationship, where you'll be like, yeah, I just had to kind of put you in your place a little bit before I took you to Sush. And dude, you'll do some stuff where you still hold the power in the relationship where you'll be like, hey, we're gonna go to Hawaii this weekend, but I'm having to be rocking hardwood

this whole Hawaii trip, but no boning on the island. Exactly. You'll do that. Exactly. You've seen that. Yeah, it's a good move. To even piggyback on just like the momentum you create and the frame you create when you do something like that, I'll still tell the mother and my children, my fiance, I'll be like, hey, we're going to go on a trip to Hawaii, but I might bring your friend instead.

That's a good move, dude. I'll do that too. It's all about framing, dude. And she's like, what do you mean you're going to bring one of my friends? I'm like, you know your buddy who came over last week? I might bring her to Hawaii instead. And she's like with the kids. And I'm like, yeah, for sure.

It's all about setting that frame, dude. You know what works huge? You frame it. Is when we'll be out visiting like my wife's family in Illinois, I'll be like, the whole time we're at dinner, I'm like, dude, your mom's super huge milf. Like your mom's. Yeah.

Dude, she's swa-ma first. I might've had to wax that thing. Yeah, I'll say stuff like that. Where would my dad be in the cuck chair? I'll also be like, thank you for treating to dinner, man. Like, I'll be like, you know, I'll balance it out, but like, you know. You've had me wingman you on that. Where would my dad be in the cook chair? Also be like, thank you for treating to dinner, man. Like I'll be like, you know, I'll balance it out, but like, You've had me wingman you on that. Even though you've been together for like 10 years.

Yeah. Like at your engagement party, you had me come up, be like, dude, your mom, like, like your mom, you're like, your mom's a milf. That was huge. And I think it made my marriage stronger by doing that. Cause I had played some games with my wife in that time. Like, yeah, we're getting married.

Yeah. I'm committing to you for my whole life, but like I don't know am I though yeah? I'm here. Oh, you gotta keep him guessing yeah for sure Certainties death of Afro Dee Kev you're up with two picks bro Hey, you did your guitar back for these pigs I I did you did your guitar back for these pigs? Bring me here for this time you couldn't bring me for like best food or something Ched you're just easy. It's what will you suck me? I'm asking too many questions I know but I don't know I don't know what a fucking I don't know how to hit on

I hate hitting on chicks. That's the worst. I fucking hate it. Damn dude. And I can't even like I'm not even like hey, we feel trying to like I want to improv with you guys, but You guys keep you know saying weird dumb shit. That doesn't make sense and I have to go along What am I supposed to say? This isn't a pickup line. It has to apply to more than one fucking person. Where's your sister or I'm going to leave here. I thought we were going to do some general shit. And I'm just a, and I'm the asshole for like pointing this out. It makes me look like I'm not having a good time, but you guys are, this, this is the dumbest shit I've ever heard. Your

whole improv session there was was ridiculous and can't clear Clear it no girl. What was so fuck us? I guess the vibe I guess the vibe you guys overall vibe would be good, but the actual lines that you guys are saying It's fucking more on it. I will Well then write the ship here with these picks. Yeah, you're like literally shit like you're you're not having game right now Just yeah, I know but I admit that I don't have a like get in the pocket and just make two answers that you think are Better alternatives to what we're pitching you're gonna need to talk me through this. Yeah Down and I'll go back in the pocket. I'm telling you guys these couches just

Have you got this brother? You're a smooth guy. You're a confident guy. You're capable. You're a good singer You sing great songs say what comes from your heart right now What do you what if you could talk to a lady right now, and she's pretty what would you say to her? Would be good Now he's coming there's the daddy There's no Kevin here today, it's daddy, but I was thinking rationally I thought a girl my rational like an introduction Got the intro you got the intro so now what? Pick the intro is a great pick you think chicks are rational

Come on, bro Dude thing yeah, you're trying to write a book about a jazz song. Yeah, okay. I had one What would top daddy say? All right. If we don't have to do an act. Just put it, just put it. Can you suck me? But nice. I love that he actually took that much time to go and then do it. But yeah, can you suck me? But in an in a British or Australian accent, dude, so anything or we could just put anything in a can I just do anything in a British or Australian accent?

Because anything at least in LA or America, anything that an Australian or British person says doesn't matter. So smart. Hello. Hello. Do you want to suck me and boom. Oh, are you from are you from England? Where are you from?

Are you from Australia? All right, mate. There it is. All right, mate. You want to munch on my Cuda banger this is gonna work good So can we just can you put anything with a British or Aussie accent? And then put like for example, can you suck me here? He is Kevin's coming back, baby All right, what's your next pick? You know what you're doing kid. Or do you want to keep doing the accent?

I saw you want to go Oh, hello, I can only do the liverpool one but you're good man liverpool we're just a band we're just a band from liverpool yeah i'm in a band hey suck me beautiful hey you look like a filthy wench you want to suck on my kuder hole you're a gorgeous girl my wife is gonna be mad once she once she says anything with an accent is a good is a good, is a good. Okay.

It's my pick again. You got one more, yeah, I'm on the clock. I only got 20 minutes left. You know this is one of the greatest drafts in history. I'm gonna change it up. I'm gonna go with, I'm gonna do a quote from a movie. Can I do that? This is of course.

I feel like I can do that. A lot of it comes from there. This is from Scarface. And I think it's probably the greatest sort of pickup line or talking to a woman of all time. Yeah, nice. And forgive me for my Scarface accent. Maybe help me get into it, the Scarface accent.

And what do you want? Women only want one thing. What you mean? What you mean kill a child? I can't get it. Where is it? First you get the money. First you get the money. Then you get the power. Okay, okay, I got't get it where is it first you get the money first you get the money then you get the power okay I got it I got it with the right woman there's no stopping me I could go right to the top anyway what I got to tell you

is this I like you I like you the first time I laid my eyes on you I say she's a tiger she belonged to me on you. I say she's a tiger. She belonged to me. That was great. That was good, dude. You have game, bro. I was mesmerized. I don't have game. Tony Montana. He thought you were gonna say, say hello to my little friend and pull your cock out. Yeah, but that's, yeah, that's, oh yeah. That's a great pick, dude. And you know what? There's, there's a really directness to, there's a directness to that that is powerful where he just says, I like you. I like you the moment I saw you. I said, she's a tiger. I said she belongs to me. Scarface with the right woman. There's no stopping me. I say she's a tiger. I like that line. I love it, dude. I love that he's trying to control her, but he's saying she's a tiger. Can you ever really control a tiger? No. No, you can't tame a wild beast. We saw what happened with Siegfried. Yep. They got attacked, they got attacked.

Their magic couldn't save them. No, no, say, I say she's a tiger. I say she's a tiger because he's saying he's talking to himself, like he said in his head. It's in her monologue. She's a tiger. Kevin might be winning. This is important too is to prep your, to pump yourself up. You got to pump yourself up before you go and actually approach the lady because it's high stakes.

You might get shut down, it's your whole life, dude. You might never reproduce, you might just die. Electric highs and lows from the far daddy. All right, Chad, you're up. We're only doing four picks. All right, I'm coming in with just super respectful, throws them off their game, and it's just like letting the target know up top,

like you're a guy full of integrity and you're progressive and you're kind of of the times and you respect women. You're just letting her know up top and it's like straightforward, confident. You just go, hi, I respect your autonomy and intelligence. Whoa, dude, super slick. Yeah.

Respect your autonomy. Wait, your what? Autonomy. Autonomy. Anatomy, dude. Oh, anatomy, that might be, do you wanna change it to that? I respect your anatomy and your intelligence, dude.

Cause you're saying she's beautiful and smart. A-U-T-O-N-O-M-Y. Are you guys not that psyched on it? Because you're saying she's beautiful and a you t On oh my are you guys not that psyched on it? It's super strong, dude I guess you know me as a misogynist. It's hard for me to really wrap my head around but here's the thing Shit yeah, then it's fire so you come up be like I respect your autonomy and intelligence. Yeah That's hilarious. You're almost clowning the kind of pussy that would actually say that exactly That's not what a neg is That's funny as fuck then dude. You're wearing like an all-white outfit. You've got like six of your boys You just came from like running with the bulls. Yeah, you're like you went DJ Khaled for some reason. Oh, dude

Are you giving him negging? The crew is stacked. Or are you giving him that line? Maybe, maybe, uh, Jake go put parentheses sarcastic. Sarcastic. After that, dude, just like if she doesn't get it at first, you just hit her with a good old fat like psych. Like one of those.

Negging is, is complimenting something that's an insecurity of hers. So that wouldn't be negging. No, no, no, no. Negging is a compliment something that's an insecurity of hers. So that wouldn't be negging. Negging is an insult compliment. So like, I love you. I know what negging is, thanks. Oh, well, Chad doesn't know what it is. I was just talking about indulgent sarcasm. Calling her dumb.

Why don't you just put calling her dumb. What did you just put calling her, calling her dumb? All right, for this next one, dude, this is pretty simple. This is a layup, okay? You're on a fast break in basketball, you just lay it in, maybe slap a little backward. And honestly, it should be a slam dunk how effective it is. Women take time when they go out. Yep. They put on a nice outfit and they wanna be noticed.

Swing. So guess what, boys? The writing's on the wall. Notice it. So whatever it is, I would say what works too, and you can protect your notice of it because you don't wanna come across creepy, but if you're a relatively normal dude, you just say,

hey, I really love that top. Where'd you get that? I see my sister's birthday is coming up. I might want to get her that. And then, you know, if it's too sexy, you go, and she go, you'd buy this for your sister. You go, I don't know, whatever happens after that. Good luck, you're on your own.

But I'd say you just have to compliment compliment one Article of clothing that she's wearing. Hey, I love your I love those jeans. Where'd you get them? I love I Love that top. Where'd you get it? I? Love that top. I happen to be a finesse bottom. I think we are a good match. I think that's good. That's really strong. Women like that if you compliment them. You know what? Sometimes like she could just hit you real quick with a thanks.

When you say I love that top you mean like when you get top? Yeah that's what I'm saying. Yeah I was saying more like I love I love you know your body like. That's what I'm saying. Oh, nice. Yeah, I was saying more like, I love, you know, your body. Like. Oh, that's what I'm saying. Right. No, he's saying he loves their clothing. Like the things that they chose out.

Oh, that's not as cool. Like nice shoes or. No, I was actually being pretty, I was being really beta with this one. This one's like, so if you're beta, this will work for you pretty well. You know, like my other ones are more for alphas, but I would need to think of the beta.

That's smart, dude. In my list. And yeah, and like there's days where other people feel beta. Yes. For sure. Yep. So you go up, Hey, I love that top and see what she says. You know, Kevin won round two.

What a comeback. Oh, I did. Yeah. I have six votes. All right, dude. Was my next, I got two picks here to take me home. Six votes. All right, dude. With my next, I got two picks here to take me home.

This next one, I think is seriously probably the most important question any human can answer for themselves. You're going to go up to a chick at a bar and you got to have all your horses with you when you do this. Excuse me, miss. Are you a good girl trying to be bad or a bad girl trying to be good? Oh my gosh.

That's like the wildest thing I've heard in a while. Didn't she look at her friend? I don't know, what are we? And then you say, no, no, I'm asking you. I think dude or chick, it's kind of the thing you need to really understand about yourself and people don't think about it enough So that's a fire one. That's pure fire. That's philosophical. See that. Can we have permission from our ladies to go try these? Do you think oh, yeah, I would like to see that one that might have got me the most turned on JT I would like to see that one in action. That might have got me the most turned on, JT.

That line. Yeah. Dude, JT's pick is good, dude. This is a good list, dude. Yeah. Dude, I like your list. I'm gonna study it later. I'm gonna use that tonight on my chick.

Yeah. Dude, yeah, that one. His list is very alpha. Yeah, and also that line is a big risk. You know what I mean? You're walking on the tightrope of humiliation, but guess what's at the other end of it? Pussy. Do you know what's also great about this line?

It could really work well on couples therapy with my wife when I'm like, look, I just don't know if she's a good girl trying to be bad or a bad girl trying to be good. I just look, Lillian, I just don't know. And then look over and then our therapist wants to ask, well, are you a good boy? It's a good question. I can't stop thinking about, I don't know what I'm trying to.

Well, are you a good boy trying to be bad or a bad boy trying to be good? I don't know yet, dude. Maybe we'll have to get a coffee and figure that out. Oh! This one could make her think and she could also just slap you. That says it's a good one, I like it.

Dude, can you? Yeah, dude good one, I like it. Dude, get it. Yeah, dude, okay, let's set the scene. You're at Bootsy Bellows, you're with the boys. Always. You're just ripping shots, just tearing up the dance floor. You see your chick, walk up to her, tell her. I have been watching you.

Oh. And it's something I can't watching you. Oh. Yeah? And there's something I can't figure out. Okay, what's that? Are you a good girl trying to be bad? Or are you a bad girl trying to be good? Oh, I don't know. Because I have my opinion,

but I guess it doesn't really matter unless you got it figured out. Okay, I'll bite. What's your opinion? My opinion is you got fat tits. Pretty face. And I bet underneath those shorts is a nice tight cooter. Oh my God.

But I guess I'm a bad boy trying to be good right now. Oh, you turned yourself. Why don't we just, why don't we go, why don't we go discuss this more? You wanna go into the back of my car? Go hit the bathroom. You wanna go straight to the bathroom, take you to one of those little shit boxes

and fuck the shit out of it? Is that what you want? Inside the grocery store? Cause dude, this line really worked for you when you were outside the grocery store trying to get people to sign those. I took a girl down to John's to this. You went to John's?

Yeah. Not Vons, don't be confused with Vons. We're talking about John's. John's is nice. I was at John's, the one off Western. And I took this, I took a girl down in the shitter there when I hit her with this one. Yeah, she was good looking broad too.

Dude, your mom's gonna. Love that one. My mom's gonna know who's who. Yeah. Try it on me, just the other way. You wanna do it again? Okay, you yeah, right on me. Just uh, I'm gonna do it again Yeah, okay. You guys don't want it. You must like this one if you want it. Yeah Are you a hey? So I don't mean to bug you but um, I was looking at you and I couldn't make it heads or tails

Are you a good girl trying to be bad? Or are you a bad girl trying to be good? Are you a fucking idiot? Bro, bro. Stop talking to me. Bro, bro. But I like it. I like it.

I like the ways it could make her think though. Here's the thing, dude. If you get that response, dude, then you just move on because you know it's not going to be a match. Well, with any pick on the term. A lot of people turn off the pod having to hear me say that three times. All right, dude, for my last pick, this one actually is fire because it goes,

it goes to where you shouldn't go. There's a couple of things that are taboo to talk about. Ooh. And we joke about sex. I actually don't think sex is that taboo. I think most people want to talk about that. They get a rush from it that feels bad. This is genuinely transgressive and it's a big risk, but I think you just walk straight up to a girl and it's got to be at a place where this

doesn't belong. You got to be at a nightclub. You got to be somewhere loud and hedonistic and stupid and you just walk up to her and you hey who'd you vote for I like it Straight into politics and then she'll be like what and you go who'd you vote for? Were you gonna go Biden or Trump? Who'd you like? And then right away she goes This is a guy who's not afraid to wade into the uncomfortable He's got a flair for the dramatic and maybe he knows some stuff Yeah If you're at towel Beach day party just rockin and you just walk up and ask her that dude you come out of the pool

Fully unsubmerge yourself like a fucking member of SEAL team six and walk up to her Who would you vote for and then immediately you've already ordered tequila shots? Let's go and she's like there's this pussy in the chat right now. He's like don't do politics. That's exactly why you do There's this pussy in the chat right now who's like, don't do politics. That's exactly why you do politics. If everybody's trying to stop X, bet on X, bro. Don't do politics or anal? Yeah, exactly, dude. This is great.

Also, you're onto something here because the Atlantic just put out an article about how young people, typically young conservatives are trying to meet each other because they feel threatened by being out there because of their conservative views. Also, you're going to get more turned on by someone you disagree with. It's like in the Don Winslow book, the cartel, two rival gang leaders, one of them's a hot chick working for the Zetas. She puts an MP5 to his neck while she's stroking him. So you're not going to chameleon.

You're going to be honest with him. Oh, no, no, no. I stick to my guns, but I'm not afraid to stick to my guns Let's uh, let's let's do I guess I love that top one round three dude. I'm getting crushed I thought wait, I love that top was one of them compliment their clothing. I love that. Oh, yeah I was thinking of the other top Were they voting on head or clothing you You can go into Israel, Palestine. That's a strong one too. Whoa, Chad, you got 0% on that one. I know I thought I'd be I

thought I'd be a winner. I mean, this is classic. I'm getting kind of like two three minutes. This is just a little talk forever. Sorry. This one that I'm going with right now is just another layup. It's not too clever. It's just to... Beef nips is on there. It's just to freaking get the conversation going. You're right, right. Beef nips, you're right.

It's going to get you... You're going to have to have game for a follow-up, but... Hey, where do I know you from? Boom. Hey, where do I know you from? Boom. Hey, where do I know you from? Is it from my karate class from a black belt? You could say that. Smart.

You could lead it. Oh, hey, where do I know you from? Is it from when I got my pilot license last year? I forgot. Strong. Strong. So you're adding in good parts about yourself. Right.

Hey, where do I know you from? Is it from where I... Did I save you from that Cobra? That's pretty good. I like that one. I think I saved you from that Cobra, didn't I? So stuff like that. Hey, where do I know you from?

And then you'll go, oh no, that wasn't me. I swear I'd never forget those eyes. Maybe too corny. I swear, no, you're too beautiful to forget. Kind of corny and lame, but that's not what you're leading with. You don't come in with, oh man, I'll never forget those eyes or it must have hurt when you fell from the blah blah blah. No. Leading with genuine, being slightly manipulative. Hard brag of your personality. Did you really save someone from a cobra? No, no, I didn't,

but I would save you. They seize you up for your game. Where do, do I know you from the billionaire modesty club? Exactly. Do I know you from the, the magnum condom convention? Do you salesperson there? Oh my gosh. Yeah, you do. Oh yeah, that's really fun. You got even one of your boys come up and say that line. Yeah.

I think this might be the pick of the draft. It's really good. I think this might be the pick of the draft. It's really good. I think I mean, you know strata I didn't know yours. I mean we all knew but I didn't like no You know I'm saying crazy. Thank you for saying that there is Lord one two one already on the rounds And you're probably gonna get one again your draft in front of you and it's coming from the heart You got something called aura and here's the thing. I'm glad that none of us. It's not over yet. We didn't do these hokey lines No, you know what I mean. It's gotta be a ridge. Yeah. All right Chad. Yeah. All right So here's what I'm thinking

Nothing gets a girl wetter than a song good song And I'm thinking you just go up to her and you start spitting some lyrics What lyrics? Peaches by Justin Bieber. Oh So you cruise up to the check, right? Cruise up to her. I like this a lot. And you go I got I get my peaches out in Georgia. Oh, yeah shit I got my weed from California. Yeah. Yeah Yeah, that's that shit. I took my chick up to the north

yeah badass bitch I get my lap perm I get my light rap from the source yeah yeah yeah that's it and then you walk away and I say yeah so dude if she picks you up she's gonna laugh if you do that and you walk up and you start spitting those delicious lyrics at her yeah she's gonna either be charmed and laugh or she's gonna go, oh my gosh, you're gonna get a reaction. Right, and maybe you keep going like you're doing, and I say, I see you, the way I breathe you in,

it's the texture of your skin. I wanna wrap my arms around you baby, never let you go, and I say oh, I get my peaches out in Georgia. Yeah, you have his mannerisms, too Did you see him in that concert clip from like last week? He was like coming on stage Yeah, you come yeah, dude, chad, you know what I would do with that You would get your boys to back you up Like if me and jt came in and wing manned you and kevin's got musicality too

And we do like a little dance twist a brief little dance twist. Yep, then you turn around you go Hey great meeting you guys. Thanks for helping me out with that. Yeah. Very, very matter of fact. Thank you guys. I'll see you guys later. Have a great rest of your night. And then you turn back to her and she'll be like, what you just met those guys like what her mind will be. She'll have so many questions. She's gonna have to ask you about that. You're in. You're in summer is peach season, by the

way. I've got some peaches in my fridge. You're licking you're in you're in summer is peach season by the way I've got some peaches in my fridge you're licking you're licking her butt by sundown all right Kev Kev take us home I'm gonna have to end it on another movie quote I'd like to I would like to extend you to I would like to extend to you an invitation to the pants party. Oh shit. I don't know. You guys don't even know what that's from. I know it's from Anchored Man. Yeah, keep going. Oh nice. That was it.

That's it? It's great. Shit. No, I loved it. Okay. Let's call my mom. And then put Anchorman, I guess. I don't know.

Way to land the ship there, Kevin. Oh, I'm sorry it wasn't seeing Justin Bieber. It could have been like, hey, honestly, some honorable mentions that I would have said was... Yeah, she knows we're calling. Justin Bieber. It could have been like, hey, honestly, some honorable mentions that I would have said was. Yeah, she knows we're calling. Hey, what's your Taylor Swift era? Mine's blank. Oh, that's really good.

Yeah, dude, because what is your Taylor Swift era? I don't really know. I might have to ask my wife. That's funny. Honestly, before I go sergeing, I asked my wife for tips. I'm like, hey, I'm going to go talk to young 25 year old women tonight. Can you give me some good pickup lines? I like to ask my wife. That's funny. Honestly, before I go sergeing, I asked my wife for tips. I'm like, hey, I'm gonna go talk to young 25 year old women tonight. Can you give me some good pickup lines?

I'd like to ask her. Let me help you out. She hooks it up. Hey, what's up guys? We're interrupting this podcast to let you know that we got some tour dates coming up. Dude, first we got June 12th, fricking Tempe Improv. Kevin's coming.

And then we got June 20th, Bros Before Joes at the Comedy Store. Get your tickets to that. Then June 21st, we have my one man show at Jam and the Van in Los Angeles. Get your tickets to that. And then we have the Comedy Store main room, July 1st.

Get your tickets to that at chattinjt.com. Florida is coming in September. Tampa, Orlando, Dania, 923-2425. Get your tickets at ChadandJT.com. Kevin, you wanna say anything? Hi. Yeah, we texted you a list. These are the best pickup lines to say to a woman.

Okay, hold on. say to a woman okay hold on out. Hold on. This is great. No, I think number one is out because do you want it? You know what? You want to shock me? I don't know. No, no good. No so. Hold on. So Kevin last? No, no, no. Anything with an accent. The second one, I don't like sarcasm. So I'm not sure. Okay, hold on.

That's Chad's list. I think maybe Chad's. Okay, the last one. Whatever you find. Okay, hold on. Oh, the one is this guy bothering you. I think that in movies a lot It's an old one. So I think I like the one with I think my dog likes you Wow mom that was a Strider Wilson's list All oh that was it yeah, thank you wait did we. Yeah. Monica, thank you.

Wait, did we get the rankings though or? Yeah, you were in last place, brother. Wait, what? I didn't hear a one through four. I didn't say which one was the first one. She didn't say which one first. My favorite was the dog. The second one is this guy biting you.

That's my second. The third one is the one with the Justin Bieber lyrics and my last one you want to suck me? No! It's not can you suck me, it's anything with an Australian accent for example can you suck me? Like that? I don't know No, you understand Yeah, definitely my self is to like you compliment the top all that it seems very kind of innocent yeah like not threatened you know it's not

threatening the other ones and a little and they told you the one about uh is this guy better than you i've seen it in the movies too many times yeah i think it's overdone at this point that's fair mom all right. I just have so much fun. Oh, you're fun. Thanks, Mom. We love you. Thank you. Thanks, Monica. You brought you, Monica. That was important.

Thanks, Mama. You brought a lot of credibility to the process by picking Shredder, too, because people were claiming bias. And I think we can lay those accusations to bed now. Yeah. Nothing, Mama. I love you.

I'll call you later. Oh, they didn't know you were fair on the pigs? They thought because I won last week, on the last one, they thought you were cheating for me, but I didn't win this time. So it's, we're feeling more fair and balanced with you as a judge. No, I had no idea who they were. Actually, I was just listening to a whole podcast with a where we were laughing Okay, nice. All right. Thanks mama. Thanks for listening. I love you

Good draft that was awesome. I thought I thought my nagging would really put me over the top You know what to be fair to you, dude I think my mom doesn't like reading it, but if she was listening to all of it, I think that would actually work on her. Yeah, you shouldn't put the sarcasm there, huh? Yeah, I think it works in person, but people don't want to acknowledge how much it works. And she said my list was non-threatening, but I imagined myself holding with a pistol in a holster on my hand in a full karate gi during all these times. That could be seen as comforting though and safe, safety.

Yeah, Kev, how do you feel? You know, I tried. I thought- I think, can you suck me is a great line. Yeah, but I think there's, cause it's anything with it. So it's anything. And then it should say, for example, can you suck me?

I think we need a book for example. Can you say, can you suck me in an Australian accent? Yeah, let me warm it up. A good eye, but can you suck? I think we need a book for example. Can you say can you suck me in an Australian accent? Yeah, let me warm it up. Oh good. I can you suck me can you suck on my? Crocodile chode no, I can't wait wait wait. It's not a knife. This is a knife Oh, yeah, are you pretty lady? Can you suck me? No way turn it turned into British though. It's hard. It's hard me Hey, we're out by the beach. Can you suck me? No way turn it in a British though. It's hard. It's hard me. Hey, we're out by the beach Can you suck me? Can you can you can you suck on my little Peter? I? Basically Chris Hemsworth

Do you feel like do you feel better about your own game No, wait, but why would I feel better about my own game? No. Wait, but why would I feel better about my own game? I feel better. I liked Strider. I think Strider legitimately the last the first two picks of his I object to and I still object to them. But the last two, I think you have to be alone. But what I'm saying is what I'm saying is like the top compliment and all I think that is a reasonable winner. I think Chad's list is... It's a beautiful list. Also, I'll save my words.

It doesn't even make sense. I'm singing him Justin Bieber lyrics, he should be ashamed of himself. And Pahr's is very alpha. So that one could be really good or it could go really bad. And I could see all of those going just horribly But that actually makes it sort of yeah, no, that's legit I would say for my list like Striders list is like the beginner pack you smack that open right when you're getting into sergeant My list is like when you've really been in the game for a while and you've developed some black belt skill

Then you try out my moves are like, you know, if you're doing jujitsu, it's an Oma Plata. It's high level shit. It looks simple, but it's not. You can't just walk up and ask who'd you vote for. You have to have aura. You have to have a backstory of your own. You gotta have aura. You gotta be a Riz King.

But JT said in a loud club, just scream, who did you vote for? There's no nuance to it. But you can't just do that if you're not, like JT said, if you're a Riz King. But JT said in a loud club, just scream, who did you vote for? It's not, there's no nuance to it. But you can't just do that if you're not, like JT said, if you're not Riz, if you're not, if you haven't been there, done that. And if you're not prepared to follow the conversation through to all ends.

Yeah. And you gotta be wearing a MAGA hat when you do it. Yes. Oh yeah, that, yeah, that goes outside. Who'd you vote for? Dude, and then dude, then it's turned backwards, the red hat, then you flip it around and you dude, then it's turned backwards, the red hat. Then you flip it around and you go looky looky little cookie.

Dude, my list is like the Jack Sparrow list. Like it's one of a kind. Only like, only one person can do it. Yo, if you're not born a wizard, don't try Chad's. Yeah, if you're not Johnny Depp, you either would've, would've. Yeah, if you're not like touching crystals and super mystical with it, I wouldn't play with Chad's Sister in your respect. I respect your autonomy and intelligence Kevin's list is like if you like just you know Gooning in your room 12 hours a day

And then like you actually leave at some point to go pick up some ramen and like you're just a fucking cave troll That stumbles upon a chick then you come at her and you just grab her and you say some of that stuff. Hello my name is Christopher. Hi my name is Christopher. Can you suck me? I'm from Liverpool can you suck me? Can you suck me?

Can you suck me? Dude imagine just going up to a girl and be like hey I'd like to extend an invitation to the pants party. Anchorman. I mean that could work. But dude there is a girl out there who probably likes that. Yeah but what about the fuck guy with the scar face you know. Anchorman Probably likes that yeah, but what about the scar face you know that one I like Good shit legend great work. Oh, man. All, way to go fellas. As much as I'm broken inside you Going deep

Going deep I believe I can't let you You can't take me