Going Deep with Chad and JT - EP 407 - STRIDER WILSON gives us an EXTRA INCH

Episode Date: September 24, 2025

Today we are joined by THE ONE, THE ONLY, Dr. Dank himself - Strider Wilson for another QUESTIONS EP. Each bro has a chance to ask 5 questions they've always wanted to ask. NOTHING IS OFF LIMITS. It's a late night recording, which means things get WILD. Strider offers up the idea of donating an inch and the discush gets heated when Chad declares who he thinks needs it the most. This is a classic late night vibes with the bros ep. #chadandjt #goingdeepwithchadandjt  We are live streaming a Fully unedited version of the pod on Twitch, if you want to chat with us while we're recording, follow here: https://www.twitch.tv/chadandjtgodeep Grab some dank merch here:https://shop.chadandjt.com/ Come see us on Tour! Get your tix - http://www.chadandjt.com TEXT OR CALL the hotline with your issue or question: 323-418-2019(Start with where you're from and name for best possible advice) Check out the reddit for some dank convo: https://www.reddit.com/r/ChadGoesDeep/ Thanks to our Sponsors:Brotege: The Best Skincare products for bros - get started today for just 10$ - Visit https://www.brotege.com/deep Hims: The Best Hair Loss solutions for men. Go to https://www.hims.com/godeep and get started today with an online consult with a professional. PRODUCTION & EDITS BY: Jake Rohret

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nice place to jack off yeah yeah pretty nice you know you never know you never know when a good place to stroke's gonna come upon you you know what I mean supposedly pun intended there um are we wrong we're wrong I just don't chat yet

oh yeah okay cool good good place to start oh yeah yeah I was at the Jefferson Memorial and you can walk I think they call it maybe the Constitution Trail and you can walk from memorial to memorial a lot of great places just to pull over stroke. Yeah, yeah.

Have you ever stroked in a memorial? Yeah, yeah, you know, you just have to be careful and make sure you ever paying your due diligence, your Pledge of Allegiance, you play the honor, you know what I mean? I think, too, there's a, you know, if you have 100 years since they died, you're good. 100%. And also, I feel like it's difficult now as an aging man

to pop wood. So if I put forth that effort and I really think about, I look up at Jefferson Memorial, you know, justice, honor, life pursuit of happiness. That's really what I'm doing. Mm-hmm.

If you think about it. You know, I've always thought this just with how immaculate, the way they, the conditions of the building and the, it's just the air temperature is just crisp and peers

the National Archives. Oh, yeah. And you don't have to worry about, you know, some, You know, it's not my style. Some people would like to spray on historical documents. I wouldn't want to do that, but I would love to be around that kind of history and just to, you know, jack off.

And truth be told, D.C. is a great city for walking off, but the Federal Reserve is bad because when you spray, and if you hit the roof, their alarm goes off. It's so everything's sensitive, so they want to keep. So just be careful if you're looking to spray Federal Reserve's not really the spot to do it. Maybe the Smithsonian in the like the aeronautics center at the Smithsonian. A lot of phallic shapes.

Just feels like the right spot. Do you shoot bigger ropes when you're in public? Generally I try to look around. I like to make sure I'm not really accosting anybody. I really want it to be my own space. I don't want it to be, who was the Greek guy who would go around and pull his hog out? Diogenes. Yeah, I don't want to be sort of a diogenes

there but I want to look around off hours run around open and I'm quick yeah um you just want to be around the scenery it's not it's not being around people it's it's you want to be in you want to be in places of have high historical value or just you know places where people come from afar to visit and you want to yeah when people aren't around to jack off there it's pretty extreme cranking red Bulls contacted me about maybe a sponsorship mm-hmm that'd be good that'd be cool if you were like lined up with all the athletes yeah you're next to like naija you know you're next to like robbie madison you're next to some surfers maybe kyleini and then you and i'd be in my swivel chair i bring my own i bring my own swivel chair

to all these places by the way yeah a roly swivel chair and they're kind of introducing you at the x games or something like strata wilson your signature move maybe you just go yeah my signature move Yep, yep. Reverse grip, every grip. The one, the pinky, I can actually do that. Some people can't just sort of gifted that way. It's like how some people are double-jointed. I can do, I have such a small hog.

I can do just the pinky grip. Oh, really? Yeah. Wow. Yeah. Do you think when you're jacking off, you're thinking more intuitively, or are you more in your analytical mind?

Oh, that's an excellent question. I would say, it's it's intuitive I'm not it's analytical it's the process you're doing it in public you have to be in both because you have to assess your surroundings exactly I would say leading up to the event uh up to the event it would be analytical I'm looking around I'm saying okay here I am I'm at the natural history museum in New York City I be lined it up to the third floor so nobody can get me up there I want to run I run as fast as I can and what is the motivation um

Probably just I feel alive to feel I guess the alternative would be you know some people yeah sitting alone I never bust and I do shoot

so it's just air it's type two fun where you just look back on it you're like I did that a lot of times I go to places where I've been wronged to claim it I reclaim the memory there do you use the loch never

never never because your dad said it was feminine yeah he said it yeah he said lotion's for chicks hmm and uh and he knows what he's talking about he was a dermatologist so he knows about

he really knows about friction on hog well this will come up later so maybe we put a pin oh yes in the um coming at museums to put it in a category. Guys, we're brought to you by the legends

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I'm going to. Chad is going to be Chad, you want to kick us off? Yeah, what up? Stokers of Stoke Nation? This is Chad, just Chad. Come with a Going Deep and Chad JT podcast. Yeah, man.

Oh, you're shit, dude. Just chat. Going with the Chat and JT podcast. I'm here with my compadres, John Thomas. What up? Boom clap, Stokers. We're here with the, uh, the J.O. Jackal

Oh, I like that I thought you were going to say general But I like Jackal more That's great Yeah When I do I dress like the Jackal What a terrorist thing

Yeah he is kind of What's the bad guy In the Jackal's name And there was a real life Terrorist called the Jackal Oh really? Yeah that's That's

There was also a great Nintendo original game Called the Jackal Where you drove around In sick jeep It was sick But yeah the Bruce Willis movie too Yeah

The Bruce Willis that's it And Jack Black He shoots off Jack Black's hand That was a good scene Yeah Oh Jackal It's a movie The Day of the Jackal.

That might have been Jack Black's jacking hand in that film. His character, of course, is what it got blasted off. And then we can kick off. One more thing. I remember when you were looking at wedding venues, you would jack off in them to make sure. Oh, yeah. And that's how you picked your wedding venue? Yeah.

I went to all sorts of different courthouses, churches, gardens, just vistas. just all around and I would crank my you know my we would get a tour and the guy would be like okay let's head out and I go I'll see you guys later I'll catch up with you guys later did you feel suppressed growing up very I still don't know if I've awakened sometimes I drive around and I go who am who is it living inside of me I don't know wait say that again sometimes I drive around and I look in my river mirror and I say who is it living inside of me and why do you say that I'm not awoken I'm waiting to be awoken wow but could you wake yourself up that's a great question do we wake ourselves up every morning or is it an alarm I set an alarm

rare is the occasion I just rise You know, we were going to ask each other five questions each. This actually parlayes perfectly into my first cue. I love that. One of my questions for you, Strider, was... I have my cues on my phone, too. So sorry, chat if you're looking. And, yeah, it's on my phone.

So I'm locked in, though. In the most ideal of circumstances, coming off a massive day, what's the longest you could sleep? Oh, my gosh. probably 20 hours. I would, maybe a whole day. I think I have slept 20 hours before. Wow, really?

Yeah. One time I was late to a rehearsal, when we first lived together on Barrington or a butler over there, I just kept sleeping. Like, I didn't set an alarm. I'm like, I have a rehearsal at 3 p.m. I went to bed like about a decent hour the night before, maybe 9 p.m.

I woke up at 2.45. I was late for rehearsal at 3 p.m. Wow. Yeah. I was like, there's no way I'm sleeping that long. It must be 11. Yeah. Did you feel good when you woke up?

No, I feel bad. I feel like I've wasted the day. Oh, so, but your body felt good, but just emotionally you were like, that's too long to sleep. It's too long, but I could just keep going. But you know what, dude, I find these days I have more anxiety. I have more anxious energy, especially the wife's been out of town. Like when people are around me and like when stuff can annoy me around me, I feel like I can sleep longer. But if I'm in a perfect environment and things are actually comfortable around me,

I'll be like, I got to get up. Interesting. It's a weird dichotomy. Do you wake up most mornings refreshed? Probably takes me a lot because I work those two shifts early in the week and I go late. Don't get home until like 1.30 by the shower. By the time I go to bed, it's like 3 a.m. Wow.

And then if I get up, it's like 9 or 10 and then I'm like, no, I'm just gone. I don't see it takes until like tomorrow when I get up to be like feel like, good energy. So, oh, so you don't get to bed to like 3 a.m.? It's rough, dude. Those first back-to-back shifts are bad. Oh, I didn't realize that. That's brutal.

And you're on your feet, eight and a half hours. Oh. And then, uh, it's pretty draining. When you guys, because you're, you're running around less now at the gig. You've been bumped up to management. Yeah. But I remember even, we were in like our mid-20s, but you'd come up with like, and you might have picked it up from other guys who worked there.

But you had, like, specific moves you would do to get out of the car to preserve your longevity yeah you don't want valet knee right angle I would spin out put both feet on the ground stand up at the same time basically when you get out of the car you don't put one foot out you turn your entire body and step out with both yeah his ballet knee

is a thing yeah right in here because you remember if you're on the right you're the driver's side you step here and then you put your foot on right here and then you swing out you're putting all this weird pressure on this knee and if you do it like a hundred times a day it hurts interesting but that's the only body part

associated with valet-specific injury? I'd say so, unless you're really cruising around. Some guys whip the wheel too hard. If you're whipping, you might, ooh, a little sore right here. Or maybe you twist the neck real fast to back up. Oh! You get hurt? Hard over the shoulder.

Two guys have torn their ACLs. They're having great valet seasons. Right before the holiday, you know? You go down with an ACL injury before the holiday? I mean, that could be your year at ballet. My next question is for Chad. Who do you think history will remember more? Tom Cruise or Alex Jones?

T.C. You know, here's the thing. I never forget T.C. He's always in my mind. He's out there. He's doing stunts. He's making movies. He's charging ahead with the entertainment.

You know, he's spearheading the movement, which is to keep making movies he's looking good fire charisma he's a religious god he's everything he and i think he'll never leave i think because of who he is he'll never leave our domes alex jones here's the thing with alex jones he's loud in the moment and um oftentimes can be pretty hilarious i think that's just my personal opinion i think most people if you can get past like the Sandy Hook stuff yeah undeniably hilarious person

he is hilarious yeah I'm not afraid to say it I think I my my thinking was there's a lot of great actors Tom Cruise is the only one who can do the stunts and who brings that specific intensity but like if I'm reading a history book

there might be a different actor who supplants him or someone else who becomes but if if clips keep being the way that we digest information, I don't know anyone who packs more punch in a clip than Alex Jones. It's true. But here's the thing. I mean, I guess I never forget Alex Jones, but I kind of like, we'll have moments where I'm like, oh, he's still doing his thing. He's still around. You know what I mean? Where I think he's in his prime anymore. No, I just think he, I just think he'll leave people's minds easily.

But I guess if people are talking about kind of the way the way media is nowadays and the how hyper political everything is, I'm sure he's going to be referenced a ton. But, yeah, just instinctually, I just feel like long term, he's more forgettable. Yeah, and I guess if this section in the history book is like the age of conspiracy, let's say that's what they call this whole thing. Yeah. Is he the best representative of that? or there'll be someone else could it be i don't know i don't want to besmirge someone who when i'm not familiar with their entire back catalog but could it be you know candace owens instead of alex jones or something like that hmm that's a good question i don't know

but you're going cruise i'm going cruise yeah what are you guys gone yeah i think tom cruise i feel like Tom Cruise if you want to there's conspiracy around Tom Cruise yeah yeah yeah that's also interesting and he's a beast dude

I was all cruised and then I saw a clip today of Alex Jones interviewing someone over the phone and he goes are you Jewish and the guy goes no actually I'm a practicing Roman Catholic but I do have a lot of Jewish and he goes Oh, you're gay. That's right.

The clip circles in my feet of Alex Jones all the time where they're like talking about like liberal, you know, politicians and whatever. And they go, how would you describe this person? And when was it? He really is deeply thinking about it. Vampire. Oh, that's one of the great. Vampire.

It's so good. Dude, it's so good. Colin Kaepernick, retard. Yeah, yeah. Dude, he says the line. It's so good. dude he's so quick he's amazing he's like he's like uh my god's like Hillary Clinton vampire Trump next level and the way he looks next level next level so funny so funny you know

what's his name's what's Tom Cruise's character in Tropic Thunder based off of or is that just an original is it um Scott Ruden oh I think you're right is it yeah good call if Tom Cruise played an Alex Jones type in a film he would mail it does it say is that his name right scott root yeah super famous uh produced the book of mormon social network honestly is probably has the best taste of any producer but then a big op-ed came out with all the stuff that he was up to and he was physically abusive like he threw uh telephones at people staplers kicked people physically out of limos for you know messing up something clerical oh dude oh Stuart cornfield

i don't know that guy they do look similar but i think scott rudin is right dude you know what a bummer would be to get kicked out of the limo yeah dude that's got to be the worst dude you're like because it's understood that you're having a good ass time everyone's cruising around everyone's together and then you get booted out of the limo sucks and that's clearly there's an alpha in the group who's like hey you're out yeah then you're just on the road that sucks dude oh i got called him up oh you know what he does look like scott rudin oh does he yeah put a photo of scott rooting up in the vid and i'll show it to the boys right now oh yeah 100% that's scott rudin for sure yeah yeah oh yeah

I, um, what was I going to say? Should I go with my first? You're up, dog. First cues. Let's go, baby. Dial them on. All right, all right, all right. Shoot.

Let's see. Let's see. All right. This is going to be boning related for both of you guys. JT, if you could bone at any location in the world, which would it be? And, for, for you. Feel free to get magical here. Oh.

Like middle earth? I like public. Nice. I like up against a wall. I'm in kind of euphoric recall. It's hard for me to separate from a real times I busted. I think. I would love to do.

Yeah, I think a funeral. A little like, are we talking like emotional, like, is it high fidelity vibes like that? Yeah, like the car or in the limo even, or is it like, you know, you just gave a eulogy or vice versa she gave one i think i'm dating just a crazy slut and an uncle she barely knew died and we're there and we're like a little baked and uh and we just get a little randy dad and then we sneak off into you know we're at some kind of religious place and we sneak off into a little office area they got you know i got to take her legging off and like put it in her

mouth to keep her quiet. I'm not even I'm getting freaking bricked up dude. I'm not even having sex with her that good where she's got to do that but just to play into the theater of it I do that as if you know act as if and you put the other legging in your own mouth? Yeah

or straight and yeah that's more on your ass yeah or you tie it around your neck and if you're in a moose lodge then to one of the points on the moose you could cut off your air supply a little bit yeah and I travel with my my concealed carry you know I hand her my

sig and I'm like just put it to my head and pull the trigger but she doesn't know I have the safety on so I'm just kind of testing her oh you're sighing sour

I thought you handed I thought you were smoking a cigarette inside no I don't want you to get caught smoking inside no I don't smoke so is this against a wall or maybe like the

the you know the priest's desk yeah We're not against a wall in this scenario. It's a doggy, but there's a mirror. It's a sick-ass funeral home. She's kind of twisted so I can see your face.

So you can see your face. And I'm like, you're going to be loud. Do you see like a cross, like Jesus is on the cross too? Ooh, that might kill it, actually. I think I would take all that stuff down. Maybe you see donor's names. Like the Anderson family. That's nice.

Nice, dude. Yeah. Thank you. I think that's good. I'm like, oh, I know. them. I wonder how Spencer is doing. I'm okay with disrespecting the interpreters of deities, but I'm pretty deferential to the actual deities.

Dude, that's the absolute way to be. That's the absolute way to be. Dude, that's honestly some of the chillest sex I've ever heard about. Thanks, man. Yeah, that's pretty awesome. Fingers crossed. Strider, what are the tech specifications for the perfect drill factory? Oh, this is phenomenal. No matter...

you're going to want to be in a swivel chair like something that does have a little like see this factor that I have right here where I'm able to go like this because if you get tired from going so long you can actually just sit still and just keep drilling yourself

but close to you'd have a tissue box you'd have a desk you'd have a laptop set up so I would say any truthfully be told any sort of I'm a swivel

Yeah, this swivel chair here has been absolutely, yeah, that guy probably absolutely obliterated his hog there. I think a pleather or a leather for easy wipe in case any thing happens. A swivel so that if you turn back around or you can turn around, you can play it off, huh? Definitely a closed door that you can lock. And a good Wi-Fi connection. Ceiling fan and ice breeze is always good.

Do you have snacks? Absolutely. You're going to want to have something that you don't have to peel. you know for whatever hand you're using nothing you want to like no trail mix I'd probably say like honestly the Romans had it right grapes yeah a good and yeah a good apple that you can bite into like once you and my father said no lotion and never slice your apple chicks slice apples men bite into it and what's the floor situation do you have like uh you obviously probably not carpet I always had a laminated fight club poster that I would put down and since it was

laminated it was protected so right it was easy back up on the wall and go right back up up right above my bed and that's why I want my now wife the woman I love she was always like, hey, you know, you talk to decor with your significant others. You guys agree. And she's like, hey, we have to get rid of the fight club poster. It was a really hard battle. And you know how they say in therapy. It's never about the laundry. It's never about the fight clip poster poster. Well, in this instance, it was more about my drill factory. I was like, I'm going to have to remodel. I'm going to have to get one of those like, you know, those plastic things that go down that have like the little spikes that go into the carpet on the bottom, you know, that stay. And then the

swivel chair goes on top of that. And then you're constantly moving around on the wheels. totally threw me off You're big on that Not about the laundry It's one of my I think I have like three phrases That I just say I would say that's one of your go-toes

That's my That's definitely a go-to of mine And then another one You win some, you lose some You know you know I know in another one of yours is Don't go 12 rounds with yourself Absolutely

Unless you're drilling yourself Then absolutely go the distance And a lot of the ends in a decision where you just have to go, I'm hungry, I have to eat now. I'm going to be late. I got to go. I remember I went over to your place one time

and your wife opened the door. And it sounded like there was like Swedish death metal just blaring inside your office. Yeah, a good speaker system, yes. And I was like, where's strategy? She's like, oh, he's just freshening up. You know that scene in the accountant when the accountant number one

when he sits down and wax himself? I'm whacking myself I'm not you're doing like flagellation not like that but waxing drilling myself drilling and I just have a bunch of a lot of people like the audio in their adult entertainment

not me I just put on a big titted stunner and some Ramstein or that's more German that's German when's the last time

you busted to new porn. Oh. When I was 18. So it's just been kind of playing the greatest hits since then. I know what I like. And who's your top performer? I'm a big John of Michael's guy. She's powerful.

And would you say your favorite part about her performance? Is it her kind of alpha mentality or her giant jugs? excellent question if I can have my cake and eat it too it's both but more so it's the alpha mentality I kind of like to be told

Brooke served her once at brunch yeah she'd call him what she eat yeah he might be putting his kid to sleep do you know what she ordered we can interrupt him for that

and ask about Gianna Michaels kids gonna sleep every day the rest of his life I forget what she ordered but it wasn't big sausage pizza. Damn. You know what I would guess? So that Hollandeau sauce.

Oh, Eggs Benedict. Eggs Benedict. It's a great dish. I love an Eggs Benedict. But can I tell you right now, I'm not big on the Canadian bacon. I take it off. Like if there's a,

remember when we went to the Montana show at Great Falls, Montana? Yeah. Remember that steak, Eggs Benedict we got? Chad, you took the early flight out? Brutal morning. I still think about that steak eggs Benedict. It was a rib eye with like a poached egg in the Holland Day.

I think about that breakfast. I think about John and Michael's eating that breakfast. That breakfast was good. That place was awesome. So good. Had the ribs. There was guys in there. It was a great, dude, J.T. pulled a Tommy boy.

He ordered the ribs. And she's like, look, they're smoking them overnight. They're not going to be done for, like, hours or whatever. But I guess they had some of they heated them up for JT and brought them out. Wow. The lady's like, oh, well, she bait and switched me. She's like, I've got to get you something else. But then she's like, we did have some.

Wow. And I was like, dude, and he ate these giant, like, I'm telling you, it was like rib eyes like the size of my hand with an egg on top and the English muffin. And then she brought out a rack of ribs that big, did. We were eating good. It's great place. That's where they do the mermaids in the pool. It's kind of legendary.

We met some cool guys, too. We met some, like, Air Force dudes with their wives. One guy flew helicopters. They flew helicopters. When alarms go off at the nukes, they fly in to check it out. And most of the time it's like a nature thing, but it's cool there on top of it. They seemed very capable. I did crank my hog by a nuke silo.

You did? Yeah, by a silo. Wow. Yeah. Wow. Do you want to ask some questions? Absolutely. Here we go.

Now, we'll get the blue stuff out of the way. So I will, chat, I'll go with Chad first here. Is that okay? Yes, sir. Chat, you're the type of bird. who would give a stranger the shirt off your back, and I know if either of us needed a kidney, you'd give us one.

Thank you. That's not my question, because I know that. If science allowed it, would you donate me, JT, or anyone of your choosing, one inch of your penis so that their life may be better? And just so you know in this scenario, everything would go back to normal.

You'd have a fully functional wiener except yours would be an inch smaller or two or however much you're willing to donate. And then if you gave it to me, it would just be that much bigger would you do that if science allowed that you would have to recover

you wouldn't be you'd have to also think about the other people in your life would I still have a bell end you can you would donate an inch of the shaft it'd be like an inch from the middle of your shaft

is what the procedure would be and then they would just take it and put it back on yeah hard know if I have to give away my head no you're bell-end yeah so why I'm am i doing this what is it wow that's an interesting question this is shedding

listeners we're learning a lot about chat here by that answer no i'm just curious like is this are your lives in danger if no but you can improve our lives so oh it's to improve your list i guess the question is you're kind of asking a a deeper philosophical question of like why be generous right that's a fucking beautiful way to put it that's exactly right yeah i do it and and then there was a part you do it you know you don't have to choose between me and j t if it was me i would accept that who would you do it too and who do you think needs it most oh man and would your dank wife your dank fiance future dank wife how would you think she'd be effective on air i'll kill you i um you know because you said that i was going to say strider but i think it's just

They're filming this shit, man. What? I think JET needs an extra inch of my cat. Would my, would my, would my, would my fiance be down with that? Should we call and ask? I, yes. Yeah. I also wonder, if you did donate an inch of your penis to someone in need, not me.

Would you tell people about it afterwards? Or would you be the kind of noble anonymous? Gifter. I'd let you guys tell the story. I think that's smart. Like at the the inch giving bank, the dick bank. Yeah, I'd be a plaque. If it was like a dick fund me, it'd be anonymous. I'd call you like a couple of weeks like, Chad, what's up, dude? I just want to tell you like, I was with this chick last night. It was the first time I heard it go, oh. And I just want to thank you so much, man. Thank you for that middle shaft. I never would have been able to do that without you, man. But dude, what if no, they say no good. deed goes unpunished what if i now have bd energy and i get like a forehead tattoo and a chain necklace and like you guys call me and i'm just like whatever dude all right i guess i don't know you know it's hard to picture you and bd energy fuck dude fuck dude i don't even know how to act with a big dick energy it'd be tough to do podcasting with big dick energy because it'd just be three guys not talking

no one no one who has a podcast has a bigger than seven inch penis yeah unless you're a former athlete because then people would bring stuff up

and you'd be like I guess yeah exactly yeah like maybe what do you think about the current state of affairs I'll know dude

what do you guys think should I take this girl to sushi should we just do like a walk are you still talking about that exactly dude all right JT I got a question

for you speaking of questions sorry I should take a note on the pot um JT if someone made a statue of you what material and position would you choose

to pose him I think I'd want it made out of wood like good oak and the position I think I would want it to be I have sort of like the thinking man is that Rodan

yes you know what I'm actually good in that spot I think I would kind of mimic it not to pull from the most famous but that is anatomically where I like to live. And I think you would be down in the squat like this. You do like to be in, you have good hips. I have really flexible quads.

And so I do like to be like that. But I would have no stone I'm sitting on. Would you be nude or would you be in an outfit that you like wearing? No, I'd be nude. I think that was the right answer. I guess, but wood is not it. I was going to say wood will over time deteriorate. You want this to last.

That's what I kind of liked about it. I thought it was romantic to be like ephemeral. But now that I'm thinking on it, I just don't know if you can get the detail you need. They could make it with a chainsaw though and that's pretty sick. Oh, that's pretty cool. No, it actually looks really good. Also, I guess if you preserve it.

You know what I do like the wood. I'm sticking wood. If you keep it indoors and out of the element, it will last. That's all you have to do. And where would it be erected, the statue? you i would want it in uh new york city 7th and third and how many feet 100 no that's too much i think that's something that's something that keeps you out of heaven i go like five to six feet big enough to draw attention but not so big that it's all about you smart what's a great

ass call sick I would travel to see that who's it next oh I'm back to me all right all right Chad not in a split second choice but if God gave you a week

to decide who had to go would you die for your dog Lola 100% Strider not in a split second choice but if God gave you a week to decide who had to go, would you die for Sonny?

Yes. In fact, when I was driving to the podcast today, I almost hit a dog with my car. Like, luckily it was a big dog. Got out on Lendale Boulevard or Avenue, whatever it is. Came out in front of me, hit the brakes. Luckily, no one was behind me, and the lady got her dog.

It was off the leash. I was like, dude, that would have really fucked me up if I hit a dog with my car. And then I was like, do what if that was sunny? Yeah, dude, because Honestly, you know how much Jill loves Sonny, my dank wife? Did she like Sonny more than me?

That was going to be my question, is that, because I totally get you guys doing it in a split second and think you would, like run in front of a car to save your dog. But that's more like, yeah, like instinctive. But if you had to really think through it, could you do that to your family and to your fiance and wife? They would probably not, in all just aside, they would want me to live. over the dog probably so you would you would let the dog die yeah i'd have to live i'd have to live but my split instance was actually it would be here you know my decision

would be because i'm i would uh i'd have to i would consult with my dank wife my family memories, I'd be like, what are you talking about? And I'm like, I don't know, dude. And then if my dank wife was like, yeah, you should die. Maybe I would, because at that point, this is like a French movie now, why live? If the person I've given the most of my love too doesn't want me, does this earth even need me? That would be pretty hilarious to explain to your family, be like, I need to die for my dog. And then it's like you, and my wife agrees.

She's like, yeah. and then you're putting on a suit and you just have a briefcase for no reason and you just walk out to some light suggest responsibility yeah I think that's the way to do it and if you get a full week to decide that's interesting

is there any party that feels like if your significant other did pick the dog to survive and for you to die that out of spite you would then kill the dog to punish her for her heartless nice. I would not do that. No, no, no. But you know what I would do? I would think that's how much you love your wife. Yeah. Oh yeah. Honestly, you would let her euthanize you. How much I realize how flawed

I am and how much I hate myself. Because I am a creature and a human capable of sin. Dogs, you have a different theory on dogs where you think dogs can be evil and whatever and they can be naughty. I just think they get a pass on their sins, whereas humans, we don't give that pass to one. one another. Because it's their nature, but is it also our nature? Like if a dog rips up another dog or, you know, sexually dominates another dog, we don't call it sin. And with humans, we do, and we should do that with humans. I just think they get kind of a, they get off easy a little bit. I think you're right. It's a tough, it's a tough, like, argument or it's a tough stance to take. I'm like a hard ass dad. I'm like Robert Duval and the judge where when my dog commits a mistake like

that, I send the dog away to jail to learn from its mistakes. Is that the movie where Robert Deval like chokes the guy at the diner? He's like, I fought in wars. I've led men in tanks and blah, blah, blah. When he's like, who are you old man? And he chokes him in front of who's a little kid in the six senses, like watching him in awe where the guy's like talking to you. Oh, no, that's secondhand lions with Michael Cain.

Say yes. That's, yeah, that movie. It's a good movie. Great call, dude. He just chokes his out. I've led men into combat and tanks and horses and bull. blah, blah, blah, and I love, and I loved a woman with more capability than you have in your little flea brain, that's the man I am.

You know, a lot of people think he's better than the rest. Also, let's shout it out. Rest in peace, Robert Redford. What a life. Oh, good calling out. Robert Roberts, the man. I'm a handsome man, too. It's a great question, J.T.

Are you told Osmond's in there? Wow. Smart of you to put the phrase in there of not in a split seconds decision. Because once you actually sit down and think about it, you have that week. You start mulling things over. It's hard. Maybe I just go out for one last crank. Like the Tesla restaurant?

I can't wait to crank there. You could have that on your grave. Died for his dog. That's honorable. Love that to be a fire epitaph. Yeah. Be sick. All right.

Who's up? I think it's Chad. All right. I love that it's late. night vibes right now this is great dude i like a night podcast recording yeah definitely it's chill and this is the right style of episode for it yeah yeah it feels like we're in like we're we're on like HBO past midnight yeah except it's three dudes and we're just talking about tits for sure we can say ass and whole back to back dude say it asshole

If you were in World War II, Strider, thank you. Do you think you'd be in Europe or the Pacific? And why? Okay. I want to be in the European theater. I want to be an easy company. I want to be,

they're just, and this is sick to say. Who's the guy that said, if you make a war film, you've glorified war? I think it was true foe. It's true. These are heroes. They did, you know, a generation,

their youth was robbed of them and went and did a job and liberated the world and all that. But there's just something to the aesthetic of the European Theater of War and it's terrible because people are dying and getting shot by bullets and it's bad and sore civilians. But like at an old church

and just like the French countryside and then in the Japanese Theater of War, it's jungle, it's combat, it's bugs, it's just your island hopping, you're on a boat, it's fucking hot. And it's kind of like a preamble to Vietnam where it's just torturous. The way the Japanese soldiers were trained, you fight to the death. So there was just so much gruesome stuff of like the kamikaze charge

and just the mental anguish of, in the Japanese government lying to their citizens saying that the Marines were going to, if they got you, they'd get your family, they'd eat your kid. They said like they'd do all this rent and stuff. So when they got to Okinawa, people were throwing themselves off the cliff. thinking that these monsters were going to come and, like, literally eat their kids. Wow. That's not, that's really rough.

But because things don't usually work out for me in my life, I think I'd probably get drafted and put into the European theater before. I'd probably, excuse me, the Japanese theater. I'd probably be, like, in the engine room on a boat in the Navy, because I think a Marine you had to enlist and I'm not brave. And also as the paratroopers, you had to pass a physical test. Like, you had to be, like, kind of the best of the best, which also, raises your it's why they were at the center of some the focal point of so much

combat because the paratroopers were you got paid more but you also had to like do more um i think i would probably just be like in an engine room on a naval vessel and got torpedoed but here's the you would have j-oed in there absolutely with the heat and the sweat it would have been like i would have been breaking daddy's first rule of lube in your World War II research. Greece. Where was the best hang? Where did it seem like the soldiers were having the most fun together?

I think probably in London, maybe even I really like the pilots and the guys that were in those B-17s because every time you went up into a flying fortress, it was literally a coin toss, whether you're going to come back. More guys died above the air in Germany in bombing than the entire. Pacific theater just in the aerial battle and that's not including the ground battle in Europe

yeah it's like 200,000 or something like that so that helped to hang I think so I think because you were so every time before you went up we gotta live it up we gotta fucking let's go and you're in London when you're

and you're in London so there's stuff to do chicks that's cool and then also the coolest probably though would be a pilot like the Battle of Britain

before even America got involved in the war if you're a cool ass ace pilot it and you come over. The raft brings you over. Yep. Churchill's like, never have so many owed so much to so few.

Great quote by Churchill, absolute beast. And then he's like the first dude who threw deuces, but it was really a V for victory. But he's famous for making it famous of like, what up? I think in England they say this is,

this is fuck off. Oh, really? Lily James, she's like, this means up your bum. Oh, and in the darkest hours? Yeah. Dude, how good is, what's his name's performance? Gary Olman.

Yeah. It's a great question. This means up your bum. Honestly, dude, how cool would it be? Dude, what about being in the European theater and being like a resistance fighter? Like a spy and like the French and the resistance. So dude, yeah, if the palm is facing away from you, it's victory in England. And sometimes people perceive it as peace.

But if it's facing towards you, it's the equivalent of the middle finger. Whoa. In England? Like still today? Yeah, I lived with some British guys. And they were like, this means fuck off. People say the bird comes from and the finger comes from. Archers, when they used to like do this, so they'd give you the bird being like,

we're going to get you. And then a lot of times enemies would cut off archer's fingers, like if they let them live. Really? Then you'd have no bird. Yeah, you couldn't. Man, that would suck. Oh, dude, okay, before I get to your cue, back to the dogs thing, what about the dogs who get euthanized for being violent?

they don't get a lawyer or a trial or anything great question would their lawyer have to be a dog and would the jury have to be one of their peers and can AI interpret what their barks mean in their judgment I think to make things fair this might make things unfair but I think the judge has to be a cat I was going to call it canine court but maybe you call it maybe you call it canine lives court and if a cat sentences you to death is it just one life does the cat then have to give the dude good key i didn't think that far ahead i just thought this cat would but maybe they wouldn't be impartial what animal i was going to say cats are going to send all the dogs oh yeah never mind but i but it's really interesting what you're talking because i have no idea what the process is around that i remember mom lem was really fired up because there was a dog situation going on in burbank where uh they had taken the dog away the neighbors where it was he said she said as to like how the whole thing was kicked off like some people were like they were harassing the dog and then other people were like

no the dog has violent tendencies i don't know how it worked out um but that's it's a really good call like who should be the doggy attorney yeah and is that a tv show yes it's a tv show if not there's paul patrol i think there needs to be courtroom drama heavy intense courtroom drama like a few good men style stuff but animated it's really my son loves paw patrol and my daughter loves trash truck and so they'll fight like when they're going crazy and I'm like I'm gonna put something on my son goes Paw Patrol and then my daughter goes trash truck what's trash it's great it's this Netflix show I think it's uh Kevin from the office the animations good and the stories are actually kind of clever there's one where like the boy wants to be nude

and they're all like naked running around um but this is an episode that resonated with me and there's some other pretty clever episodes of people have mentioned what dog would be the best judge a basset hound got the best face like with the long ears and i'll tell you who the bailiff would be a great dane good call big ass mof you go call dude people are so insane look dude oh that is such a funny dog the musculature it's insane they're they're jaws just NFL running back you feel like pit bull's jaw it's like two inches thick at least yeah they get locked yeah they're so gnarly they're mike trouts dude all right chad you're up uh j t if you could swap lives with any

athlete who would it be all time is a great question Travis Kelsey Oh, did you use Swifty over there, Jake? I don't know what the totality of his life was but being Jesse Owens when he crushed in Munich and just, you know,

really took it to that whole ideology. I'm sure there's a lot of, you know, counter stories going on. But the conventional story around it is pretty epic. Oh, Berlin, sorry. Who else?

It's a great one. Dude, honestly, I'm such a... I don't think I could endure the pain, obviously, but boxers, like watching Terrence Crawford fight Canello on Saturday and just what a master class he put on. And there was like rounds where it felt like Conello was starting to bully him, and then every time Crawford would just meet him in the middle and just beat his ass for a few exchanges

and you're like, dude, the mental fortitude to just push the other guy back is so cool. It's awesome. Yeah, so I'd probably go, Jesse Owens or, if I'm going boxing, I'd probably have to go Ali. Yeah. When he, um, either when he beat some, Sonny Liston the second time or the

foreman fight. But you wouldn't want to, like, Joe Frazier broke his jaw. Like, I would not want to feel that. No, yeah. You got to take the punishment, yeah. And, like, the fights were 15 rounds back then. There's, like, anecdotes that, like, I'll leave, like, between

13 and 14. He was like, I'm dead. I'm going to die. Throw in the towel. I am going to die. And I think they both nearly did. So, yeah, if I wouldn't have to feel the pain i would do ali in the systems that be were kind of against you too like you got fucked over by like the government and like yeah mystery of his prime meetings yeah in hindsight probably kept him

alive like not having a fight yeah i think they were going to give him the joe lewis treatment though where you're just there to uh rally the troops so they they're like uh you're just doing like celebrity drop-ins and then the the soldiers get fired up because they're like oh he's you know yeah he's one of us he's out here like when Elvis served yeah exactly he would have got the Elvis treatment it's a great question okay I'm piggybacking off that question this was for later this actually this is my second question for JT literally my question was would you rather be the best boxer in the in the world or the best MMA fighter today oh um MMA because you could beat up the boxer that's what I was wondering pretty much it's like who do you think's tougher

and cooler. They're both extremely tough. This is an age-old debate. It goes in circles. But we have some data on it. Like James Tony, who's one of the greatest boxers ever, one of the greatest defensive boxers in history, went to MMA.

He fought Randy Couture, who's a very accomplished fighter himself. And Randy Cotor took him down and choked him out in a minute or two. It's just difference. If you can wrestle and you can get the other guy down, it's kind of over. But Terence Crawford, what's cool about him is he was like a state champ wrestler.

And then I think Ussack is actually a pretty good wrestler, too, the heavyweight champ right now. Has Crawford ever done any sort of M.A? No, he just boxes. He's 38. He's not going to switch now. But, you know, some of these boxers, they could have been good at it. Do you guys think Michael Jordan's happy? No.

He's notorious for not being happy. But I bet you he's. feels better than other people right oh yeah which is probably its own kind of happiness he's happy because he's not he feels frustrated by just this constant urge to win and to beat everyone yeah he's like a hammer with no nail yeah but so he wakes up every day he's like let's bash some stuff and they're like there's nothing left to bash brother but he's because I'm re-watching the last dance and you can, I mean, you can tell he has, he, he does, he's proud of himself, I think.

For sure. Oh, yeah. So does that make him happy in a sense? Or do you think now that he's out of basketball and he's, he just maybe has lost some purpose? Yeah. I just think the thing he loves to do, he can't do anymore. So he'll always be a little sad. but I think if he had to

live his life again I'm not sure there's much he would change Yeah He's pretty confident What episode are you on? Six I think So what are they on?

Like their third title or something Is he about to retire? I think it's 93 they covered Um I just finished the episode Where they kind of got into his gambling they already go to Barcelona and the dream team and they

Coot coach yeah they hold that coo coach they're just like we're gonna shut it out so mean I'll watch a clip today they beat like Germany like 11 to 83 like debtless shrimp short like 10 points it's just them dunking and shit so sick oh then what was the thing about Horace Grant oh that they think Horace Grant leaked

there's that book came out that like took down Jordan like talked about his gambling I think something like whatever book that was and like it was Horace Grant he leaked it to the and then they're like he's like it wasn't me

amazing cut I'm up on Chad here Chad if you were a DJ what sort of beats would you be known for like a moody ethereal shit some nasty doveseps or something we don't even know about I mean I think

just straight, hype, housey dance music, like Avichy, Zad, Avichy Zed, Eric Prids, you know, call on me with just dudes and ladies in songs and banana hammocks, just air-humping. Is that only, oh, that's amazing. Those are my shows. You air-hump the whole time. I would go to that show. I'd pay so much to go to that show. Yeah, you air hump the entire time, hands on your hips in unison. It's sort of like when you see like an army marching together in unison, except it's just humps. And I spray everyone with foam.

Oh, that's fun. Yeah. And then you could crank too, because you're doing this. You just hold your hand in place. You jump into the hand. That's okay to do that. Yeah. Amazing.

If the DJ says it's all right That's true DJs are pretty much gods Yeah Yeah Guys I'm interrupting this podcast Let you know that we are brought to you by Mood An excellent new sponsor

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Chad, are you worried about running, lowering your tea? I do worry about that. And I think about that sometimes on long runs. Am I lowering my tea? My overloading, my body with stress. but then i'm just kind of like fuck it because you love it so much

yeah and it's i don't know it's been making the rounds maybe it's because we talk about a lot of my phone hears it but i've been seeing a lot of articles about it but a lot of the comments are like dude like guys are so obsessed with tea you don't need that much tea right but then there is a part of me that's like get scared i'm like put no you do need tea Yeah, people are always like, you need to lift heavy and stuff. I'm like, I don't, I don't, I do lift as, you know what? I don't really, I mean, if I'm being honest, I don't really worry about it because I cross train and I do legs and stuff.

And he looked good. Thanks. Yeah, it slims you down. But I do like a yoga sculpt. And so I work my legs a lot. So, you know, I probably run two, maybe three times a week. Um, so I don't think at this, when I was heavy training, doing marathon stuff, I was doing like over 10 miles consistently, that's why I'm worried about it.

But that's also, I, I realize I can't do that that often because it just takes it out of me. It just takes out of me for like a week. So you're more moderate now. Yeah, I do five. I did seven yesterday. Um, so. So, but when I was, but when I was going, you know, 11, 12, 15, you definitely think about it.

All right, Strider. Yeah. I got one for you. As someone who was so fiercely independent in our youth, when did you realize you needed other people? China. When I went to China, I went there for summer, basically three months, two and a half months, had zero friends terrible couldn't speak the language i was there to quote teach english all the students were really proficient in english so at like the high level we class was in english um

and i was like dude i need friends bad i'd look at like groups of dudes hanging out i one time was walking back to my apartment and i saw another guy get beat up by like eight dudes which watched they looked at me like what the fuck you're doing you want to get your ass beat i was like please I just want to be part of something please kick my ass some guy swore on me he's like the fuck don't know what he said I was like shit my best experience I had there what really turned was uh I played pickup soccer with some dudes like on a rooftop soccer court my shirt off one of the dudes came up because I was actually pretty I was pretty nice back then in college uh he said you are superman you are superman it's fucking rad dude that's sick it was sick I was like

thank you bro so sick so that was like my boy dude so remember that then i'd email jt did famously subject mind of an email and i was like the sun may rise in the east but it has set on me my friend it's sitting very slowly on me my friend i mean you know your boy's struggling when it's poetry you know normally our con brothers were like what up dog dude fuck bitch and then and then he came at me with poetry and i was like wow it must be slow dude well how were you before that trip more selfish, lazy JT always had a vigor for life

dude let's go to the beach let's cruise over dude be able to my house I'd be like I don't know dude my mom's gonna cook some burgers I'm probably just gonna have some burgers no you weren't a bad guy at all you were just more like he would skip a lot of stuff like hey bro we're all doing this

and started to be like no I'm good and it was cool like we're all like oh that's cool that he's like you know satisfied without all this stuff and then yeah I think it changed me dude

I came back I was like I need I realized I was like this was a very an introvert would have thrived on the trip that I was on this was an extroverts

nightmare my trip to add insult to injury the host family whose house I was at and spent most of the days I slept in my own apartment but they had a wooden couch

because the lady wanted her son not to be lazy dude it was dude it was a night it was a wooden couch with like little air pockets between so like you'd sit on you know you get like the red marks you couldn't get caught like I'd sit on the couch it'd like hurt me to sit on this fucking thing so I just stand like walk around obviously the stretch you know the the government there has a reputation for policing their citizens were you ever worried about jacking off you know yeah I was but that added to it I would go around, I went to every rooftop in that city in Guizhou, in Guiyang, the city of Guiyang in the Guizhou province.

Where is that? It's like Southeast Asia, Central South, like East Asia. And like I flew into Shanghai, it's maybe a two-hour flight from there, if I recall. Were you in like a, was it a city? It was a big city. Like it wasn't big, like Beijing or Shanghai, like massive or Hong Kong, like super cities. But it was like, there was like buildings that were like 50 stories high. and I jacked off on them.

Wow. All right, who's up? I don't know anything about China. China's just a big mystery to me. Dude, there was an alarm when those factories there and when it would rain, they would say go inside because there was like acid in the rain. Oh, there's Wuhan. I was playing soccer and all the kids were like, we've got to go inside.

All right. J.T. What's one belief you've changed your mind about in the past few years? I mean, I definitely got COVID. it wrong bigger belief I think um

I don't think I really have you know you haven't changed any beliefs maybe I guess politically I'm a little bit less confident in the government, like, helping out on the demand side of things. Like, I do think when the government underwrites, like, college or housing or even, like,

health care, it creates a system where people start overcharging because they know the government's paying for it. And so the cost goes up exponentially in all those different important sectors. And so I'm probably more of a supply side person than I thought I was. Strider. Do you disagree? I was going to say, oh, wait, what is the supply side? And the demand side? This is from an idiot.

Dude, I literally majored in Econi college. And I'm like, oh? So would you say you're much more of a free market guy? Um, I try to be whatever's going to work, whatever's, like, effective. And so if, um, if I can, I try not to be dogmatic either way. If I see information that says like this, like if I thought rent control worked, I would be totally for it. When I initially started running for city council, I was for rent control. And then just looking at the studies that were available.

And, you know, some people who are more in favor of rent control thinks those studies were a little biased or skewed. But it seemed like it was better to just open up zoning and let people build as much as they could. And so kind of let the free market push it. But I'm open. I mean, you know, if I think the government could do it, I'm great. I'll go for it. But it's case by case. So, yeah, I probably had more free market.

What I thought of. And the free market is a difficult term because there's never been a free market. There's always regulations. It's just who are those regulations set up to aid? Yeah. Please don't ask me a question like that, dude. Strider. What's your take on the economic impact?

what's your perfect evening look like oh dude this is lovely this is a great question dude it could be a mood it could be a mood based question but if i'm looking inside myself and diving into a little bit of introspection here i would say a perfect night currently for me is my wednesday night and what happens on a wednesday night i'm not usually working I've done my stuff during the day. I've gotten a nice workout in. I do spin classes these days, so I've had a nice workout. And my dank wife finishes her sessions around six,

and we like to watch our shows together. So we fire up a little summer I turn pretty, and then we fire up whatever HBO show or a whodunit show that we like, or maybe even Only Murders, which is a great fall show, whatever show we're watching. And I cook. And I cook, we find a fun recipe. I've even eaten Luteal phase ramen.

Pretty dang. Made that or a nice pasta dish. And we eat right there in front of the TV. And sometimes, you know, we'll have a nice conversation and just really emotionally connecting with my partner is sort of an ideal evening for me these days. I like the quietness, the stillness of it, the relaxation. And you know who even gets stoked on it, the little dog?

Once the dog, I swear, senses that we might, dare I say, bone, he knows we're going to bone before we bone. Like, you know how a dog can smell a heart attack? My dog can sense a little bone in my shorts. That's sick. And when he does, he's like, wags his tail, starts looking around. And then now my wife, she'll know that, like, she sees Sonny start stirring about or running to the bedroom

because he doesn't want to get locked out. She'll know daddy's rocking a heart on. so the dog will kind of let it slip yeah the dog is the canary in the coal mine of my woody whoa yes so he cues you guys he cues he's like hey time you guys are viving let's go that's a good I didn't even train him on that give him a trick bring over some dog for him to get some ass bro you better believe he gets a greenie after that dude but I mean oh yeah get him some some pussy yeah because he's wingman and you that's true there's a few new dogs in our neighborhood that I know

Sonny would like to just bone, dude. Do you ever like scope another personnel with their dog and just kind of smile like I know Sonny's going to get that ass? For sure, dude. Like especially dude and Sunny like some big, dude. Dude, if Sunny sees a fucking Bernie's, dude. Oh, dude, Sunny loves pogs, dude.

Literally paw. Sunny loves a fucking pog, Bernie's Mountain dish. Dude, Sunny just loves a shy pog that he can just freaking drill, dude. That's so chill. Shit. Lola will, when she can tell, she gets jealous.

She'll get in the bed and spread out. She's like, not doing it on here. That is really what Sonny is. To be quite frank, that really is what Sonny's doing. He's going in there and being like, I'm not letting you guys not let me be a part of this. That's the thing. That's a big argument, indeed, between me and my wife when we first getting our dog, adopting our dog, and I asked the rescuer, dude.

I asked the rescuer of this guy, Dave. I was like, sick. Is the breed friendly? Are they nice? good around people like hypoallergenic and is this thing a fucking cock block you ever buy you want to buy a gun yeah fuck yeah dude he's a i i just ask two cues oh no strides let's freaking dance boys is it is it like is it weird if you're looking for a gun to spring breaker it you know to have a hot shit put it in your mouth well i i think in this case

probably the gun store clerk oh yeah we just put this in my mouth real quick you just just suck on the gun you know what is this a Glock oh well that's a really funny prank you can see like the no points we should do that yeah we're gonna go into gun store and see this guy will let us suck it like a dick yeah let me see that real let me see that yeah the Desert Eagle that's for sucking oh that's a big one dude yeah it's a good 50 cow big one or Before a maganum. That's the BBC of handguns, bro.

All right, chat. What do you think you do that has the most positive impact on others? Suck off a 9mm. Dude, that's BS, dude. You have a very positive impact on others. No, dude, I suck the steel off a 9mm. Get the hell out of here, dude. Dude, are you deflecting?

Yeah, dude. I mean, if you suck gun, dig, you suck gun, dick. I suck gun dick, Dee. I suck it. All right. Positive impact. What I do? That's a positive impact.

This is tough because you are a stand-up comic. You bring a lot of smiles to people's faces. You, a lot of the top brass at my hotel job loves you. Really? Oh, yeah. They do. They say, quick, caprice. You made my job better because of,

your quick appreciation dude this this will be inspiring for people I think it's important you own this and really you know

because you also you also he needs to bounce back from saying he was going to kill his dog earlier yeah yeah

so you need to most positive impact um also it could be an instance it doesn't have to be a big broad thing this question do it

sorry sorry I think uh I think uh I think maybe it's It's just being stoked on life. Oh, you bitch. I can't believe you just bragged like that.

Oh, dude. Dude, you set me out, dude. I went. I mean you, dude. Dude, I went. Dude, I went with sucking off the gun, dude. Yeah. If you would have taken that long and then said sucking off a fucking 38 special,

dude, would have been a great, dude. Fuck, I should have done that. I totally fell for that. now I feel so fucking stupid no no that is Jake

edit this edit this Jake dude don't bro I think honestly I think honestly shoving a nine millimeter

at my ass that's what's a great call dude for sure and that affects others positively all around the world sucking off a

Desert Eagle. It's a beautiful answer. J.T. If you could meet one person from history, who would it be and why? Um, right now it'd probably be David Foster Wallace, the writer. What do he write? Infinite jest, which I've never read, but I'm trying right now.

But it's a thousand pages and it's dense. Consider the lobster supposedly strange thing I'll never do again. brief interviews with hideous. Maybe he was just a beast writer, super smart guy. And, yeah, he seemed like one of the smartest guys ever. So I would like to just hear him talk. Is he alive right now? It seems like he's contemporary.

He killed himself. Oh. How'd he do it? He hung himself. He was coming off his meds and they tried to, he had a med that worked really well for him that got his life straight. And then he hopped off of it because it was making him a little sick. and then when they tried to bring up

when they tried to put him back on it didn't work and he was just super bummed out for a while fuck beef nips had a good call saying Chad you like to do a little perennial gunning oh yeah that's a good call you know his thing too is he was good about his whole thing was about how we're addicted

to TV how people watch it for like six hours a day and what like a passive addiction was and I think he'd be it was like he was kind of ahead of the the the how technology was changing us he's so right dude i came back from um how to go get fitted for like a suit thing today came back from that had three hours before i had to be here i swear i think i looked at my phone for two hours i was like what did i even do it's crazy what did i even do do you ever not look at your phone for like 15 minutes and just fall asleep dude because it's like

powering your entire adrenaline i think that's how i go to bed every night i like looking at my fantasy lineup and then finally like I'm tired pass out wait who's asking cues right now I asked you and then now you're up you're up that's my cue how do you feel two questions packed in who's gonna finish wide receiver one and running back one in fantasy this season

damn okay I think RB1 Bijon he looks amazing bro the usage that he got the other night and it's not just because I was going up against him and you know when you're going against the guy and like every target feels like a million targets you're like no but dude Bijon looks good man and hearing Seekwon talk about Bijon the way he cuts is sick. I think the Falcons are low-key. The cuts are nice, dude. They look so

clean. It is unbelievably different. Like, I started paying attention to it after. So I think Bijan can finish RB1 here. I think wide receiver one. It's not going to be Jamar Chase to this Joe Burrow injury. So let's see. Dude, it could be JSN, bro.

If this usage keeps up... It's going to be number one. Dude, if this usage keeps up and if he gets in the end zone, have you seen the target share this guy gets? Every time they throw the ball, it's JSN. He's playing out of the slot, too, right? All right, I'm on raw. I see I'm on raw down there.

I think it might be I'm on raw. What about puka? Love puka. You just think he's going to get hurt at some point? Dude, his eyeball was already popped out of his head. It's like this guy, no, it wasn't, but he had a cut on his eye. Like, dude, seven different people looked at him to have a concussion. Literally, it was like, dude, we need it.

We're trying to prove that he has a concussion in that first game, but he didn't. He went back in. But I love puka. He's so tough. He runs so hard. Okay, so you're going Bijon and you're going JSA. Yeah, they might And I could have kept JSN, I like that

I like that And then how do you feel being O and 2 right now? Bad, really bad I'm an idiot Especially last year I could have kept Lamar We do an auction league

I could have kept Lamar At unbelievable value Could have kept JSN I kept Tram McBride The guy cannot find the end zone Kyler I don't, yeah Like I don't know man

Is Will the Bears ever Bounce back No I was watching I thought they'd be good this year. I'm shocked how crap they look. And obviously, you know, Joe and Chudwin are hurting.

This is selfish of me, but I love Chudwin's reaction videos to their losses so much that I kind of want them to keep losing because he's so mad. Because you can tell it's like right when he leaves the bar, he's walking down the street and he's ranting. He's like, the game's not over yet, but it is over. It is over. Dude, that week one loss was brutal by the Bears, man. And like J.J. McCarthy has played like one good quarter of football then got hurt. He looked bad. Dude, he looked bad, bro.

I don't think J.J. McCarthy is it. I have Justin Jefferson, and I'm like glad Wents is in there. I don't like to see anybody get hurt except that do you. But I don't know. It was like, it was tough watching JJ. Dude, all these fucking quarterbacks are getting hurt. It's so annoying. I'm like, dude, like.

Yeah, Burrow at the toe. Burrow, Jaden Daniels has a sprained knee. Oh, he does? J.J. McCarthy went down. Yeah. Trevor Lawrence is just bad. Justin Fields got heard? Yeah, Fields is banged up.

What happened to him? Purdy's out with a toe. I don't know what happened to Fields. Oh, damn. All right, Chad, you're up with the next one. I'm asking you, in your experience, what are the top three amusement park rides in the world? Ooh, amusement park ride. Ooh, okay, okay, okay.

All right, all right. Um, in my experience, I'm going to go number three, Velascoaster at Universal Studios, Islands of Adventure. Pull it up, Jake. Oh, that looks beastly. Yeah. I mean, this is... No shot.

This is just, this is modern technology, modern roller coaster technology with storytelling at its peak. Is the storytelling really there? not really but you have cool scenery you know you're going through the raptors fucking thing and um it's smooth but it's it's it's super fast it has two launches but it's so smooth it doesn't jerk you around it's it's it's just so buttery when you're on it it's i i was on this i was like this is unreal and it has like a upside down part over the water, it like just, like a tiny corkscrew. It's really cool.

Yeah, it's just sick as hell. These camera angles are really nice on the brain. Yeah, this is amazing. Isn't this cool? This could be nice to crank, too. You watch these sometimes, right? Not as much anymore. When we were writing the Netflix show, you did this.

Yeah, I think getting married, getting engaged, maybe not watch as many roller coaster videos. Why? I don't know. You're just like, men don't watch roller coaster videos. Yeah, but it's been a huge turnoff to my fiancé that I don't watch them. I was going to say, yeah, this is cool, dude. This is engineering.

This is modern engineering. This is, the water zone is nice. Boom. Oh, my God. Oh, that's a pretty sick little turn. I don't boken on that. I had the same thought. I went to six flat.

Okay, Chad, you're still answering the question. Then I'll tell a me story. It's a me, me. Veloccoaster. You're very generous guy. Um... I think, uh, I think Tower of Terror. Oh.

I just love it. I love... They use special effects where you're... I mean, it was like, it was the first drop ride. You know, all the other drop rides, you're on a tower. They just shoot you up or they drop you. This has a story to it. You know, you're, uh...

It's, um... It's, um... It's quick. But the buildup is powerful. It's quick, but the Universal, but the Disney World one, you travel around. So, have you ever been in that one? No. So it, like, backs up.

You go up to, like, the fourth floor or something, and it tells, like, the Twilight Zone story of, like, the people. But there's, like, cool special effects where, like, it, like, the whole place appears. Then they turn to ghosts. And then you move through the hotel. and the whole thing locks into another drop ride system. So it's like, it's not like you're just in one drop ride thing. It literally like takes you up, detaches from the elevator system, moves around, attaches to another elevator system. You do the up and down thing and then you exit.

That was a fire explanation. Thanks. Are you strapped in? You definitely watched the engineering back on the body. Yeah, I love it. It's so cool. you know what i was hoping you'd get a roller coaster with a story on here yeah um i mean tired it's just the best and then what's number one what's number one what is number one um i think um

Yeah, dude Space Mountain Just like Classic dark ride roller coaster Again, you're going through space I mean, there's nothing better than that Good storytelling, you know, it's not too detailed But you're going through space

It's fun every time It does not get old And the thing that's cool about it is you're not really going that fast But it's dark So it's literally and you have this cool light effects, but when you, if you look at the roller coaster, if you look at the track, it's really kind of a basic roller coaster, but because it's dark and they do such a good job with the turns, it makes it feel like you're going way faster than you are. It just feels like

way more of a thrill ride. And so I think it's just a masterpiece. Would you say Disney is the best at storybuilding and atmosphere? Oh, 100%. Yeah, yeah. The line is even cool at Space Mountain. The line's cool. Yeah. That's the thing about Disneyland too is like they'll make the, and a lot of the rides, they'll make the line. Like they'll, there's just so much attention to detail where you're like. It's amazing. And dude, you get so excited the closer you get when you hear like yeah. And then they have like the little character detail. Be like sport, port loading cart seven. Like it's like a, yeah. It's so awesome. When you're a kid, it's so awesome. The best, dude. Yeah, I feel very lucky. This one's my favorite. It's the, uh, rock and roller coaster. It's the Aerosmith one.

Oh, dude, yeah, it's such a good, yeah. It's the fastest, well, I don't know if it is anymore, but at the time when I wrote it, it was the fastest acceleration from zero to whatever the top speed was. I think it was like 150. And they just have Aerosmith, like, the catalog music playing as you're, like, getting loaded in. Like, it's just like a huge buildup.

And then all of a sudden you just, like, 150 mile. Where's that one at? Florida. Yeah. And what's cool about that one is it was like the first upside-down roller coaster they had. and the launch is awesome you've been on this one oh yeah

Space Mountain used to play music I remember at one point they had like Red Hot Chili Peppers playing at Space Mountain I feel like yeah yeah I should clarify the Disneyland Space Mountain the Disney World Monkine is old Oh Interesting

All right who's up Chad I think you're up All right dude good cute That got me fired up Strider What up What's a what's a what's a skill you've always wanted to learn but haven't guitar i was thinking about this today

i was actually listening on the way over here at nazi mon repeat i i ended with post malone sunflower but i was listening to um just the instrumental from uh and you guys know it did it's so sick um it's the one from pulp fiction it's um what's his name dude Fuck, why am I blanking on it? I'd literally listen to it like ten times. He's a weird name. It's like Stick Ray or something like that. Let me see here.

Link Ray. Yeah, Link Ray. Rumble, dude. Listen to this, dude. This was the only song that was banned from the radio, dude. Because it was, they literally, they were like, you know, they were like, oh, this machine kills fascist, like Woody Guthrie put that on his thing.

Literally, like, the establishment in the 60s was like, this song's this song gets people too stoked so i'm like i would just love to be able to play guitar you could hook up with chicks by playing you know oh yeah oh yeah bro just they thought this got chicks too horny don't you want a bone this is what's playing in sunny's head when he knows i have a woody it's just the coolest that's sick it's just a riff And he's freaking rips on it. Yeah, bro. You could do this.

This one is still, you know, I probably for grabs. Yeah, probably should do. We do have a guitar in our apartment when she just sits there as decor. Actually, my dank wife can play. She can play piano and guitar a little bit. She's pretty, she's good at piano.

You got a guitar at the place already? Yeah, it's sitting there. It's the worst part about it, dude. Do you really? Yeah, I have it. It was an acoustic guitar just chilling. It's not like anything special. to like a kind of a chill guitar, but sits in a rack in my dank wife's office, nice area of decor,

instruments as decor. What if we throw down the gauntlet right now? What if in two months' time you have to play a song on the pod? What if I try to learn how to play that? There's no way. I was going to say that one, but I don't know if that's like... There's a part where it's like impossible. He's like...

Can you imagine if he played that for your wife, though? maybe the sickest thing in the world two months time can you play on the pot I'll bring yeah maybe Kevin will bring his guitar and I'll bring some what I'll pick a song I'll surprise you guys it won't be skilled but I'll have to do it I'll probably have to use tabs

I'm okay yeah I love guitar dude it's sick I mean dude being up there going like how sick is that? I can never my wrists are bad I can't do it like I can only strum like that I think my hands might be too small I do have small hands too

it's tough to hit some of those like big chords yeah people are saying you could learn that song really yeah um all right who's up oh j t's cue i think uh oh yeah you haven't have yet all right jt what's your perfect evening look like dance floor just a perfect dance floor music 90s hip-hop you know like kind of genuine type vibes you know early 2000s hip-hop maybe a little like de angelo dance it up a little bit music soul child just everybody open to

to hitting hips it's like dark but you can see everybody's faces clearly not too much smoke there's a nice patio area where you can hear everybody clearly and the vape is flowing freely bar

lines are short drinks are cheap they got a stock full of gatorade oh that sounds good right now just so you can keep freaking yeah

it's awesome cool name for a bar would be garage fridge where every table like we're bottle service instead of bottle bottle surface all is just a place you can kind of sit and you have a fridge stock

with just the best Gatorade's and snacks in it and then you go to the dance floor Yeah, what if a dance club had like M&Ms and all that just for grabs? Dude, when you're... Okay, indoor chocolates. That would be the best call in the world. Dude, you, as a father,

fathers have garages. That's sort of a man's space of the house. A lot of dudes make home gyms. A lot of dudes make tool sheds of their garage. I think you could have a good dance floor garage. That suits me more. You open the garage. There's some lights in there.

Stock fridge, fierce melon, gatorade. You flip a switch. Things flip over. Dare I say even the floor flips over, dance floor. Like mystery, man. And the disco ball comes down. The bar pops up. You already have a bar keep there.

You have a man that just lives in there. He just lives in the garage He's like oh let's go bother dad No not right now He's dancing Hey you're just in there by yourself Yeah just me so just cutting it up Yeah dad's having

Him time right now Do you know it's funny My ex's dad He used to just he had his own speakers in the garage He's like check these out These are my speakers And he would just sit in the garage And play rock and have

Like Budlights Dude I kind of get it dude like it's kind of amazing like i just like to this is how i treat myself yeah just have a good rock in time but the rough parts when you show it to people that's the thing that's where the self-awareness has to come in like it should really only ever just be for you like i would people should catch you doing it yes they should witness you and then lat teenagers should ride by and go what an idiot and then it should just be me with a william wallace sword yeah in my garage just practicing move

and just practicing moves to that guitar riff is that more vulnerable than larping is practicing solo in the garage more vulnerable than going to the park on a Sunday with like 12 other adults I don't think it's more vulnerable but I think it's more pure

I think it's more pure and has integrity because it's just for you but I do think if you larp in public people practice people people people if people shouldn't be a crime if if a teenager throws a football at you and doesn't say heads up the park where I bring my kids they practice a sword fight and there's a teacher and he's teaching these people at a sword fight he's like you step forward and then he come through with a right-handed strike do you know what's insane to think about 12 people like is there do you think they're paying him or do you think it's all

just stoke it looks like a class that's insane if he's collecting fees you imagine writing an invoice LARP practice Lightaber practice What's the is there a write-off on that Yeah light saber practice is that tax right now do like I think there's lightsaber schools

Dude we should go Where ATC is their studio There's like an acting like it's called LA sword play And it's like sword play for film and camera Really? Yeah it's film and television or whatever I would like to go there Do you think that guy is sleeping with his students? There's no question.

I haven't seen any actual swords. I think it's just his hog. There's no weaponry in there. I was thinking after class I could maybe put the sword in the sheath. He's so horny. Shit comes in, he just tackles her. He has all those blue pads around his place. This is for when I get horny.

You walk in, he just, yeah, can I help you? do you when you're picking on people do you feel worse picking on like larpers or do you feel worse when you're like hating on someone who's cool like would you rather pick on an easy target like a larper or would you rather pick on someone who's crushing it but then you risk being a hater the latter i would rather pick on the person who's cool and but i might also get dominated at doing that. Yeah, I mean, I've lately at parties, I've been, you know, people all kind of, just to make myself known, you know, I'll just be like, yeah, Eminem's a bitch.

I'll just start shitting on Eminem. Yeah. That's a good intro. Yeah. It just sparks up conversation. And I've gotten my ass beat. Yeah. J.T.

Yo. What do you think is good about the world? Bro. what do I think is good about the world I think that no matter how bad things are human beings have such and I would love if you guys made fun of me more

because I'm going to sound lame here so feel free to I know that's not really your guys' things but always feel free to shoot me in the face please finish pussy that's something i need um i think um no matter how bad things are people's desire to feel joy and their ability to feel joy always like makes me cry like um you just see people no matter what they'll find a way to to have a laugh i think that's sick gay

I think that... I think in the night sky, the brightest star shines and the darkest of night skies. I think you guys got to go harder. I'm not buying it yet. I think your love language, you know, everybody people have love language? I think yours is ribbon.

But more so lately. More so lately. Only because I think we've moved... It used to be kindness, but then I think we moved too far in the kindness direction. I think now it's time to come back to ribbing a little bit. I think you've coined a phrase. You've coined like a phrase that could be like a Wall Street Journal article or whatever

those like publications are and thing where it's like an Atlantic or something like that. Yeah. You've coined a phrase about like being fake nice. Or when someone's always nice, so you have no choice but to also be nice. So they're kind of prohibiting you from being your full self though because they're so nice. I call it an enforced reciprocal kindness. And I think it's a complete manipulation and I think it's dehumanizing. I think that you could write a college thesis on that and you would get a very good grade.

And my other one is when your boy is going like, dude, why are you mad? I'm always in a good mood. I'm happy. That, like, when the guy, when that's how he wins arguments is by being like, dude, I'm having a great day. I don't know why you want to fight with the defensive positivity. I hate defensive positivity. I also hate in debates where like, of course, having decorum and maintaining your cool is good

and you have to be like coherent. But I think if you get emotional, I don't mind that. I hate that in society. Like, if you're emotional or fired up or pissed off. Like, if you're debating, you should be like, No, bitch. It's because this. And you said that we're like, I would like that animation.

I agree. I think sometimes it's right for the moment. People are like, dude, why are you mad? It's like, well, this is something that should upset me. And they're trying to box you in and that's how they get you. And yeah, so I'm all for. I love that. But in that debate, if your addition, you've got to take it too.

You got to once it's your time, shut up. I do like, I do miss getting ribbed a little. And I think I need it because I talk so much. I need people to be like, hey, shut up. You've gone on for a while, that sort of thing. It's big. We need to get big brother, dude. We should have to start a big brother service.

The internet does it to me. Comments do it to me. So I want you guys to do it first, so I don't have to read the comments. I do I try. I can try. I'm just, I'm not very, I'm not very good at roasting. It's not who you, you're good at it when you do it, but it's not your inclination. Yeah, we're judging a roast.

Dude, you have just fucking nice, nice jokes, ginger. Dude, do you remember with that Houston comedy festival When I did that room And then somehow the guy chose this like person Who was like not like fully Yes And it was called it was like a where he has water in his mouth And I'm like dude I cannot

They made Strider roast a guy And make him laugh So that he spits out his water And yeah and Strider had to be mean to like a stranger And I was dying laughing watching Strider Like I think the meanest thing you said was nice haircut Yeah, yeah, exactly. He was like, who gave you that frigging haircut?

No, you said, amazing. You went, you went, that's a really nice haircut. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was really funny. That was the closest I came. That was brutal, dude. You were so funny, dude, watching me struggle up there, your face. I was, I was pretty happy.

I had some shot in Freud. Yeah, I got to go do a show where I roast someone. They put me in two different shows like that. Then I did another show where I lost in the first round. Thank God. where it was actually it was a roast battle but I do like the way they did it it was called you look like so your all your roasts had to have that format you look like a guy who would like whatever in that that's like the dude that I was roasting was a super cool guy

like we actually like we're boys and it was fun and I think my best joke was she was kind of like a he kind of looked like a friar tuck type guy I was like you look like you say here he here he that's really yeah it's probably the best joke I had do you do you roast yourself in your head um yeah what is your internal monologue like mine yeah it's a good question i call myself a bitch and a pussy a lot i'm serious that i know you my wife catches me so i'm saying you should i'm i think actually you should call someone else bitch in a person i'd get beat up no actually i got to get more jacked oh oh time.

I'm going to do it. I'm just going to go to Twitter Jones. Not to like a volatile looking construction work. I mean like 42, 33. Thank you, you bitch, you pussy. I'm into like someone we went to high school with or something. I've been saying it more in our fantasy threat. Sorry, I want to hear what you're saying.

Yeah, I'm very curious where your inner monologue is. My inner monologue? What's my inner monologue? If I'm being honest, I'm mostly just. trying to prepare for the future, I think. Just solve problems. You're thinking about work stuff.

I'm thinking about solutions. Problems and solutions, I think. Yeah, because you're not like a super talkative guy off mic. No. I'm not, aside from this podcast, the idea of doing a podcast, I'm like, what am I going to?

Here's a question for you. When you're on your distance run, a lot of times you get in the zone or you think are you aware that you're thinking sometimes I'm aware I'm thinking where if a body part's activated of mine like if I'm just doing two miles I'll be like I'll swear at my knee I'll be like fucking knee and I'll like personify bitch ass

I'll literally do that yeah yeah and then sometimes it takes me out of it it helps me get through it do you do stuff like that yeah I think so I'm I'm usually kind of like I'll like be like okay now I can think about it sounds so robotic but A lot of times I'll be like, I'll be like trying to, um, I'll either be like excited about life or I'll be like frustrated or like pissed off running. Um, but then I run enough and usually endorphins start flowing them excited again.

But I think if I'm like on a walk with my dog, I'm either admiring my dog and that or I'm thinking like, okay, I've got this amount of time. I'm going to think about some quick appreach ideas. I can think about oh here's a here's an idea for things to do for like upcoming videos or something here's people we can add that's kind of like how my mind works you almost like pick a tunnel for your brain to walk through yeah I guess that's that's it's if I really think about it that's like I'll kind of how like I'll kind of be like it's it's kind of like the to do list of what to do and then I'll be staring at my phone I'll be like stop looking at your phone you fucking idiot

that's um and i'll be like oh man you really need to stop again my phone so much i have a headache yeah um you're like the eyes start to hurt yeah i think about think about ass a lot you know my fiance's ass i think about ass a lot i think about tits and ass but when you do does it sneak up on you do you you sit there and you go i'm going to think about ass and tits for the next hour maybe a little bit more compulsive where it's like it's like it's like i'm going to think think about ass for a second and i'll just spread i'll just picture a nice ass just spread open and i'm just getting in there that's so nice i feel like that i'm not a guy who enjoys smoking weed are getting high but i feel like the pleasure of getting kind of stoned is that

enjoyment of your own mind like as a comedy you're a very funny like creative guy so it is a fun mind to be in i'm not saying go smoke weed and get shacked and like enjoy it more but like that stoke after a run or like when your thoughts are feeling dialed or like clarity of mind it's very nice oh yeah yeah so nice i think i think i'd like to get there i that's something i do think about late i haven't think about lately is just relaxing because i i guess lately i think with like the pressures of like getting married and stuff i'm like i need to like set myself up financially for this and so that's it's mostly just stress um where i'm like i'm like if i don't you're If I fail at setting myself up financially, then I'm fucked.

Yeah, yeah. That's why I think about it. Yeah, it's good. A lot of your thinking is functional. Yeah. Yeah. But it's gotten more that way with the pressures of adult life, like responsibilities. Skin in the game.

I think that's natural. Yeah. I think you're probably healthier now than you've ever been. yeah probably because I would think about like health stuff too much or you know when we were probably super young and you've always been really career driven um maybe it's just that we have more stuff going now so there is stuff you can pour your energy into yeah and I kind of like that where it's like I like the to do list of things it's like it's like oh we can send this email we can I can

think of these ideas you're like having like having things to do like today I you know, just doing things consistently makes me feel good. And you have it set up where there, because I think probably the frustrating times when we didn't have things that we could pour ourselves into in the day. And so you'd kind of be like looking for that thing. Yeah, it'd be like if we were like developing like a show idea and it's like, it's like we have like the thing written down. And I do want to get to a place in my life where I can just kind of sit still.

But I'm not there yet. But like getting to a place where. being able to yeah it's like when we would be like developing a show idea it's like well let's go pitch it now you know but everything takes longer than you think it will so like a year later so yeah I like doing stuff more so than just wait it's tough to like I'm working on patience and stuff like that yeah I got a question like about inner monologue how often do you guys like rehearse a conversation with somebody like say you're like tomorrow you're like

i'm going to have a meeting with this guy like the night before are you like oh shit it could go this way it could go right it could go left it could go this way if he says this is how i'm going to respond or like i don't know i'm a very anxious person so obviously i like overthink everything but uh yeah i don't know i find myself always like rehearsing something and then it goes completely fucking different than what i ever even like thought the conversation was oh totally dude i've caught myself like shoehorning in a phrase that I, like, I'll be in bed and be like, tomorrow I have this meeting or dinner, even if it's just like casual or whatever, I'm like, this could lead to something and I'll like really get ahead of myself and I'll

have to remind myself just to chill. But literally I'll be like, the conversation's flowing. And then like, if there's a down moment, I'll be like, I said this in my sleep when I was going to bed last night. And then I say it. And sometimes it lands and sometimes I'm like, why would I even say that? Yeah. It's hard. I do that probably, I don't do that with conversations in real life, but I do that with stuff I'll say on camera. and then when he listened back to it like it's just a little bit yeah to like rehearsed yeah yeah and that's like the preamble also how many times have I run back a conversation that I said especially when I was single or like talking to a chick or a joke I said or whatever dude I remember

like brushing my teeth and licking the mirror and just being like oh yeah just literally you and looking like out of body experience like you you idiot still still stuff I'm like you pussy you don't deserve to be alive like you make a lot like you make mistake like that. Why don't you just move? Or if you get a good job? It wouldn't be nice. Hey, you have a nice one. I laid it that one nice. You ever like stumble up on like old photos of yourself and you're like, oh Jesus.

Bro. JT. speaking of Big Brother and call me out one time so hard when I need to get called out so bad. Showed up one time to a rooftop party in San Diego. Like chilling down to Mission Beach and like I did like a foahawk haircut. And I always did this thing where I was like, dude, I'm joking though about it. Which is the worst way to be of like, dude, but like, I know I did it. So it's like ironic, but it's like, no, no, you still have like that haircut. And I remember, dude, you being like, so when are you getting a haircut?

I was like, yeah, dude, I got to get a haircut. It's like the one of the thing where it's like, like just a guy coming up. Like if you were wearing this hat, which I like your hat, but if you were to come in, it's a hat, you have more. Dude, nice hat. I'm kidding. Like, what is that? Like, that's the worst, dude. I'm kidding.

Yeah. Yeah, just own it. Ha, hilarious. Like you should just be like, I don't like the hat. I like that. It's kind of like that would be really refreshing if someone just walked in and the first thing is that they go, I don't like your shoes. And then they sat down.

I would kind of like that. Baldwin character would do that. Bobby Lee kind of does that. Bobby Lee does that really well. I love talking to Bobby because it's like, you know anything goes because he's going to you so hard you know you can go at him and it's like it's uh and he's nice. He'll let you go at him, which is super generous. He gave you a shout out on the latest like two episodes ago.

Yeah, he said JT was a guy that knows a little bit about everything. Oh, really? Dude, that's high praise. And true. Yeah. Oh, that's nice. He was talking with Josh Peck. And he asked, he was like, do you know J.T. Parr and Josh Peck was like, uh, no.

And he's like, he's one of the smartest guys I know. He knows a little bit about everything. That's cool. Oh, that means so much to me. Thank you. Yeah, I went and sought it out because someone in the comments section was like, he was talking shit. But he was like doing the total opposite. He was giving you high praise about like knowing shit.

That's awesome. Yeah. That's amazing. Let's go. Bobby's a beast, dude, when he was in the green room with us at Bros. Before Joe's. Dude, he's the man. He's awesome. All right, who's a...

I think I only have one more. I think we've each done four. Yeah, I have one more as well. Is it me? Am I out? Yeah, I think it might be. We were just drilling. We were just really interested in how Chad's mind works.

I love that, dude. The whole point of this is to find out more about each other, and I do find out more about about you guys every time. Yeah, I was kind of, I was like, what? I was going on my head. Well, it's a really hard question. Yeah. How do you think?

And then also like, how do you define yourself? Yeah, well, because I know you're hard on yourself too, but I don't feel like you're like a guy who's like, you stupid bitch, like da-da. No, no, no, I wouldn't say it. Yeah. Okay, Chad. Yeah. What are you most looking forward to about being married? Ooh, nice.

I was looking forward to about being married. dude i mean i just love i i love those uh i love those kind of what you're talking about like watching your shows those wholesome moments yeah i think it'd be sick to like you know have like a have like an outdoor tv oh and we're just like you know she's having some wine i'm having a Shirley Temple you know keeping it and uh we just had dinner and we're just we have the dog there it's just a those cozy moments you know what i mean absolutely dude and then you just fuck yes dude do you thank god you said that because i was literally dude yeah i was pissed yeah just just just all the fucking i'm head towards that's so nice did you say some stuff

before that? No, dude. What I'm most excited about is just fucking, dude, just what's the quote that you have from Baldwin about being married? You know what I'm actually gonna pick on you now for the reverse. Dude, why would you say fucking? It was really nice what you said before that. Just never get him in answer. Yeah. That was, the emotional stuff really resonated. But bro, I mean, you know, I'm, I'm, that's the dichotomy of me. You don't got to make it about fucking. I'm cozy. It's really nice what you said. What am I supposed to lie and say? I don't fuck? I'm supposed to lie and say? I'm supposed to lie and say? that I don't fuck

Jake you hear this Hey Jake Jake That's training day Yeah Jake What was it gonna say Oh the ball one thing

Oh yeah About baby He's like So here you're getting married Yeah yeah she's a doctor That's outstanding It lets people know It lets people know

Cockworks Halfway decent to be around Yeah It's true though When I first saw that movie, I thought that was all ridiculous, but it is really kind of the base assumptions people made. Dude, I'm serious. We're in the ring at work and stuff.

Like, dudes are like, oh, you're grown up. Even like the younger, like, Valies are like, oh, you're like, you're an adult. Like, yeah, but you literally have another person that isn't in your life and you're not fully accountable, but you have to be, you have to hold yourself to a certain level. Your cock must work. Your cock must work. I love his swing, too.

It's such like a hack, so he just goes. And he just has his butt heavy. It's so funny, dude. Those moments, too, that we finished Love Life, the TV show. I love that show. Me and my lady finished it last night and was like, yeah, you nailed it. Yeah, is it? I mean, just those nights in where you're just like, you know what, dude?

Oh, yeah, actually, we saw Conjuring last night. Dude, seeing a horror movie with, it was packed, it was so fun. Oh, yeah. Dude, like, because I'm pretty vocal, you know, like the ghost comes out. I'm like, Jesus Christ! And then Candy was sitting next to like this guy, this gay dude, and he'd be like, the lady would like walk up into the attic, you know, and he'd be like, bitch, what are you doing? It was so fun.

It's amazing. Like, yeah, just being in a, watching a horror movie with a bunch of people, it's a blast. That is tops. Strider, last question for you. Where are you at spiritually? Dude, we might even be on the save wavelengths because my question for you

you have something just slightly to do with this. You know, spiritually, I would say I haven't gone to church and I go on Christmas and Easter. But you were very Catholic growing up. Yeah, I used to go with our buddy Bob. We used to see Kobe.

church big reason I went and I asked you sometimes about like certain behaviors I was like why don't you do this and you're like it's yeah it's not part of my Catholic faith I would not crank hog when I was younger on Christmas I'd feel guilty really yeah yeah I'd feel guilt um my parents sent me to summer camp one time it turned out to be a Christian camp you didn't know no I looked in my thing I literally I remember like there's a Bible in my bag like after I packed my bag I'm like why is this in here I was like my was like well maybe my mom just I've never been to camp before I guess that's what my mom does she gives me a Bible when I travel okay I guess go to camp and like take out your Bible's like holy shit this is why I have

one your parents were so different because like your parents were very much like you know idle kids it's like you need to give them something to do you got to give them like a job a task which I think is actually more how I'll parent um and my parents were just like man just do whatever you want to do they were like super just like that sounds sick yeah have a good time call it some way um but yeah like your parents like like one of the summer your parents just signed you up to be like a congressional page and what it was always good stuff like very uh like building a good person but like one summer you're just in dc the whole time working for congress people but um sorry so your spirituality though it was uh yeah i did yeah i had like

i guess when i had more you kind of what you're talking to of like i had like a more regimented schedule or like a foundation kind of i've had some stuff where like even working in entertainment and stuff and so many things are in flux and you try so many things i would say i'm very uh mostly like uh the faith that i have mostly is in like the people i like my wife like when chad's getting married that's a good foundation you guys working with you guys um is great so like just having that and then there are some days well i'll extrapolate that and i'll be like oh man maybe that is like god so if you were in like addiction and they were like hey you have to pick a higher power yours would be community.

Yeah, I think community and like, yeah, that's probably right. I think community. I think I am a very extrovert. I think when like, dude, like my wife's been out of town house sitting and dog sitting, I could have been like, I've been cracking hog a lot lately, but like, dude, I just miss like, like, I don't know if I'd be a good living on my own guy. But then when I am like having people around all the time, I'm like, damn, dude, I just need a day on my own.

Like, it's nice for a day or two. Yeah. Then you want to get back. But, um, Greg Warner said that. about me he's like he's like you don't want to be around people but you always want to be around people and he was like that's your tension yeah and uh i really yeah i feel to say i feel the same way you do about it and if i did go to church i think the most stoked thing i would get out of it would be a sense of community like i do think that is true like and like it's kind of what it is with stand-up

comedy to a degree and great that it can be so fucking toxic and bad and like competitive and like we're all in this together but at the same time it's also like i need to beat this person but like there is a whole there is a sentiment of like hey we're all fucking coming up and like your peers so yeah i would say my spirituality lies in my fellow man that's awesome um yeah i can feel that for me yeah me too that's cool that requires an optimism around people too which is somewhat rare yeah i have to say i forget who had a quote but it was like at the end of the life if you like people you lived a successful life because so many people go the other way of like and i have to admit like i am i have gotten less optimistic or my faith has

dwindled a little bit but not totally it just depends what mood i mean if i and i have fucking eaten breakfast do you still believe in god yeah yeah you know i don't know if i'm like it probably torn though you know what i mean like i i'm not one of these guys who can be like under like that's god and and admittedly so sometimes i find myself like kind of when someone's so certain. I'll kind of laugh. I'll be like, you can't be certain. We had a text threat incident around that recently.

Yeah. You can't be certain. But I do admire that amount of faith. And I do, and I think anybody who believes in God would probably say it's normal and healthy to have it ebbs and flows, right? Yeah. Something tragic happened. I do find myself in moments of great fear or if there's a big life event.

I do always go, Colin, on a high. power god do you believe in uh science like the big bang theory i've been reading my boy bill bryson on the big bang theory i do think it's a great framework for it but even he says in it he's like you know you get these questions of existence like when he explains like the universe before it's a universe he's like it's not like something sitting in a void of nothing he's like we literally can't wrap our head around that and he does such a good job of writing like he's good he like takes Carl Sagan and then breaks and then he understands it and then he makes it understandable for like a schlep like me

and even that and I mess it up but I love that stuff like I do believe in science like I'm not a literalist you know what I mean like I think the Bible and this is just me are like stories written by men to like explain morality and like stuff like that but dude I've got a buddy who literally like I love this guy's the best dude in the world very hardcore Christian love him like good

great good for him and did he talking about heaven and heaven is eternal bliss like your mind can't comprehend it and he's talking to me and he goes dude when you get to heaven dude like you get to be friends with lions so think about how sick that is

he's like every lion that's ever lived will be there and then you're going to be boys with those lions he basically wants to be that DJ who plays with lions that's heaven bro and I'm like that's actually very sick like I would like that. That's the thing is like I just never thought about it that way but that is

sick and I think within the realm of possibility. For sure like that for sure is in heaven and stuff we can't even comprehend. Dapping it up with a fucking lion dude. One more question. If you could be reincarnated and come back as anything. I mean object, animal person, what would it be all three of you? Reincarnated as anything. Yeah, you could come back to this world as anything. A wild horse. Oh, that's a good answer. this guy put anal beads in the thread very genius dude that guy's funny jay that guy's funny that guy's good get this guy on the that's leroy our boy leroy dude just bringing the heat right there this is what i really think

um why would it be Ronnie dangerfield's got a great line and it's catty shack too maybe yeah catty shack too if i wanted to be a piece if he's like be the golf pole if i want to be a piece of sporting i'd be a woman's bicycle seat hey yeah that's katyshack one sorry he's not in two I'd be the statue of liberty. Oh. They're just posting up. And just bringing people in, you know?

Welcome. What up? Yeah, because you love saying what up. And who's better at saying what up than the Statue of Liberty, dude? And we wanted to get a statue for Paul Walker. It's kind of in line. Dude, just standing there like this. That's huge.

Is that sick? That is sick. Dude, my wife's brain so I can finally understand, what's going on in there? Oh, dude. Hey, hey. Dude, by the way, what do you guys think? Kimmel got basically canceled.

Yeah, bro. Isn't that wild? It's crazy. It is. For speech, dude. Speech. Crazy times. I haven't read enough details about it to like fully comment on it.

Yeah, I just saw the headline. You know what's funny, though? His bosses are Dana Walden and Bob Iger, who in the past have, felt the opposite way about a lot of these issues. I think that's one thing that's probably always been clear, but at least to me in the initial reading of it, was that, you know, like Bob Eager's book, a lot of it was about how strongly he felt about, like,

identity politics and, like, liberal ideas. And now it feels like because the power structure isn't behind that, he's kind of moved to, you know, whatever's going to allow him to still make money you got to change your tune to get the deal done and whatever administration whatever they're touting you kind of have to go along with it to get the almighty dollar sick yeah you know it's immune to that statue lady liberty will never be and dude lady liberty was a gift from france and that's your favorite cuisine is french food i think i would like publicly chastise him and then just let his contract run out but to pull

him off the air. Yeah, like that, yeah. It's just going to create so much more attention and, like, back and forth energy that, yeah, it seemed a little... So abrupt. Yeah. Couldn't you just basically say, like, a writer, like, wrote this joke, and I just repeated what I saw on the card?

I mean, you still look like an asshole, but, like... No, he couldn't really do that just because... He's the dude. It's his show, like, those guys that are doing the monologue, like, no he he would that would discredit any joke he's ever made yeah and it is his loud it is his call to to have what goes out there i mean i watched what he said like you know it was just perspective and he like ran the clip about trump talking about his like new ballroom that he's building he's like the whole point of his thing was like saying that using the incident with charlie to

push forward like political talking points in favor of like the right and so oh so he didn't even go after Charlie no oh no no the clip that I saw no it's more about the like the admin's reaction

to it and how they're using it in like a you know for their own gain oh and then you know the punch line that Kimmel landed on like was like something and like a landed more

like seemingly harsh than funny but wasn't like anything like it's funny like what he's saying is being sent in an open mic

like all over the country right now like in rooms everywhere yeah I got dinner waiting for who's got stuff left I have two left

oh Chad's got two and then Strider's got two or one for each of you that's it do you want to ask you sure Chad, if you were transported back to the year 1900 with the knowledge that you have today, what would you do?

If I go, say it again? If you were transported back in time to the year of 1900 with the knowledge you have today, what would you do? I mean, it's the Nate Bargatsy joke. I don't think I'd be able to do anything. Oh, is you talk about that? Yeah, that is true.

I'd show up, I'd be like, dude, you wouldn't even believe it. Kimmel got canceled. Yeah, right. you're like like I know how I could like I couldn't build a car yeah yeah yeah I would just be like yeah I'd be like I'd go to like Franz Ferdinand I'd be like dude do not be here at this time you're gonna kick off a war

yeah that's true yeah you know classic kill baby Hitler just fucking throw him off a bridge all you could would do is you'd have to like work a grunt job and buy land somewhere but you knew his dad oh yeah dude I'd go like Texas and buy some oil you'd like know where that it Like, that's what you'd have to think on. Like, you'd know kind of where the oil is. You'd know kind of what those good plots of land are. What's crazy, if you killed Hitler, everyone would think you were a bad guy for the rest of history.

And you'd be remembered as this monster that killed a baby. And you would never get any credit for being a good deed. That's true. You could kill him in his painting period. That's a stupid painting. Dude, you know, I think you should go back to 1900 and just bone without a rubber because STDs. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

No hivy. Yeah, dude. Probably no herbs, dude. Dude, yeah, I'd just start boning. That's a great call. Yeah. Smart. Just a clap, but you can like burn that off of like a...

Dude, I would just bone. Some hot liquid. That's what I was hoping you'd say, dude. J.T. mine was a multi-parter. Wait, wait, go. You go get more? No, that's my answer. I'd bone.

Thank you, dude. That's what I was hoping you'd say. You could bring them new positions they don't even know about. Oh, let's guess the conversation has been around for a while. J.T. You could change one thing about yourself. Mental, physical, and spiritual, what would it be? dude physical i'd want my eyebrow arch to go back to where it was when i was younger and had more

collagen in the upper part of my head just looked way sexier and i've plugged in old photos versus new photos on really rate my attractiveness and i've lost about a point so fuck you could actually scale it i mean if you really want to hurt yourself you can do that whoa dude that sounds rough just want to make sure I'm being empirical about this stuff and not just going off arbitrary feelings the mirror does judge you now yeah yeah um and then what were the other two mental is physical and spiritual so physically you did I mean mental I think I'm a smart guy you are yeah I have a huge weakness Chad can call it out I'm disorganized and have no ability to schedule yeah can't dude oh yeah this guy is allergic to scheduling

I'll be like hey dude what do we have tomorrow and he gets hives it's bad and I think if I could fix that and be reliable that way I'd be a solid guy and then spiritually I think I would I think I would embrace

optimism I become a glass half full type guy guy. It's great. So, more prominent brow line, or at least higher eyebrow ridge. Just like this. See, like this, like, watch. Does that look better? Does that look good, yeah. Does that look better? Does that look bad? You look like a, does it look bad? Like, like this. The level of detail to that is like this funny. Like this. Wait, did the thing say literally your eyebrows are no. I mean, it's other factors too. Like I'm a little heavier and like my pores got bigger. But like one thing that as you age, your eyebrows, depending on.

your structure, you lose a little collagen, a little volume in here and gravity. And it starts to tip down here. And when you smile, your eyebrows go up like this and you have that kind of old man like Curio face. But when you're younger, they're kind of straight across. And so it's a little bit more like manly and a little more dangerous looking. Oh, okay. I will say both you guys are rock solid on this front. On the e-brows? Yeah, you guys are both really solid. Oh, thanks, dude. So don't even stress brother all right fellas I gotta get back

yeah thanks dude good shit dude that was fun great pod you know I'm gonna never know I'm gonna know watch

watch it to and where to go you and where to go you need some ones you go because that's about the world and say you're going to do going to be

I'm going to be I'm going to you're going to see