Going Deep with Chad and JT - EP 412 - DRAFT - SCARIEST EXPERIENCES

Episode Date: October 29, 2025

Today we are joined by Strider Wilson and Chris parr to Draft the scariest experiences ever. In the spirit of Halloween we dive deep into what REALLY bring out fear? Is it something that happens split second or something you have to think about for days making the fear grow larger? The bros tell some crazy childhood  stories and talk about how these events may shape what they fear to this day.  Today we have a LIVE chat voting and Jake takes his first attempt at judging.  #chadandjt #goingdeepwithchadandjt #draft #mountrushmore  We are live streaming a Fully unedited version of the pod on Twitch, if you want to chat with us while we're recording, follow here: https://www.twitch.tv/chadandjtgodeep Grab some dank merch here:https://appreeshapparel.com/ Come see us on Tour! Get your tix - http://www.chadandjt.com TEXT OR CALL the hotline with your issue or question: 323-418-2019(Start with where you're from and name for best possible advice) Check out the reddit for some dank convo: https://www.reddit.com/r/ChadGoesDeep/ Here is the Total Draft Standings: (s/o HandA on reddit)Chad: 12 wins JT: 13 wins Strider: 15 wins Chris Parr: 12 winsBrad Fuller: 1 win (The Ultimate Champ)Joe Marrese: 1 winKevin Fard: 0 wins  Thanks to our Sponsors:HomeChef: The Best Meal Kits! Go to https://www.homechef.com/godeep and get 50% off your first box + free dessert. Hims: The Best Hair Loss solutions for men. Go to https://www.hims.com/godeep and get started today with an online consult with a professional. PRODUCTION & EDITS BY: Jake Rohret

Going to be Happy Halloween Stokers Welcome to the podcast We are here Gather today for yet another D-raft How you guys doing? Doing well, brother. Stumped to draft, excited.

Maybe we can do a quick rundown on Big Strider's trip to the other side. Oh, yeah. Went across the pond to Europe, dude, little London in Paris. Very dank, dude. My biggest takeaway is that the dudes that work, like, the jobs that aren't glorified, like here, like the garbage men have the sickest outfits I've ever seen. Like, they have neon onesies. In Paris, there's a dude riding on the back.

of the truck the bus drivers have sick outfits and I think that to solve the economy in America we need to give the unglorified jobs sicker outfits because then more people want to do it like camo yeah like if you like if you're an Uber driver and you had a full astronaut onesie reflective suit yeah I'd be sick I think you'd be fire up if you like you're working at Like, what does everyone say as a bummer job? Like, working at Enterprise? Mm-hmm. What if Enterprise gave you a cowboy hat?

That'd be sick. Here's my cue. What outfit do you think would be most appealing? Probably vampire. I think if you have a slicked hair, a cool tucks, and, like, a jacket that goes long, and, like, what's the worst job ever? Like, probably telemarketer.

You work in sort of a dungeon. I'm imagining telemarketers work in sort of in dungeon, underground. with fluorescent light setting I mean I think they'd be stoked I think it would help them you know yeah and I think it would help the customer like like you dress like you're in the matrix

yeah yeah leather with the shades it's a great call you know and you have suave dudes calling you I would listen to them like if a suave cool dude with a vampire voice called me and was like hey would you like to extend the warranty on your toaster I'd be like yeah I'm down now or like if they were all wearing like sick

sunglasses like fancy ones you know what I mean like they could even like You can even have a case when you walk into work, you know, and they, like, pull them off. So, like, the company pays for them, but they don't lose any because, you know, they're just, you got to, you could check them out, check them back in. But they just have better vibes because they know they're wearing sick, like Morpheus shades. That's what I'm saying. It's the vibe. I can't get off the matrix for whatever reason.

I think it is the cool, like, you know, there's some reason. Or, like, even Blade. Like, Blade wears sick shades, right? Yeah. Yeah. That, that clip's been going around where he catches them. And then he, uh, when he kicks the first henchman, there's. a camera shake effect oh dude wasn't that the first like comic book movie like didn't that start

at all it might be the i think it's the first marvel and it's probably the coolest blade's pretty good it's a good one for sure it's awesome oh he's a motherfucker trying to skate up hill dude if the garbage man was just like blade had a katana called themselves called them day walkers day walker that's what i'm saying such i think that'd be a great call i i i remember You got to carry a sword. Yeah, and then they, maybe they do, maybe their like whole trash contraption is attached to a Ducati. Mm-hmm.

I think that's really cool. Maybe it's on a trailer. Yeah, yeah. I've seen a Ducati in a movie in a minute. Fled, dude. It's like, it's like a, it's like a major part of this one movie. We had on VHS where it's like, this guy, like, loves Ducatis. And he's like breaking out from prison and he's talking about it.

And like, it's like a whole mob storyline. but like they eventually get two ducati's and they get to rip on them i mean the ducati's in the matrix two with the with the leather coat flapping exactly i just haven't seen it in a minute maybe i just missed something i watched some clips recently nice yeah i don't know if i could watch the whole matrix sequels in their entirety yeah i've never seen the third one all the way i used to put it on all the time as a bit to torture our buddy robbie he hates him he's just like a really bad movie number three but I would like just put it on all the time yeah because I had a very great capacity for watching like like bad bad movies like not even fun bad but just bad on

repeat yeah and he was like coming to the room and he's like what the fuck and then he'd leave then he'd come back two hours later and it started over again that's a good method for if you want some alone time maybe if you want to you know slap and pickle with yourself you just put on matrix three your way to put in the room Oh, yeah. Yeah, if you want to clear out, dude. If you want to whack off, you definitely clear the room with Matrix 3. Or any movie that has Christian Slater in it.

There's a major energy killer. Oh, yeah. Get a nosebleed? Yeah. That's a great call. A noseglead is definitely a big vibe killer. Nosebleeds are brutal. Oh, dude.

Oh, man. I don't know why. That was my impression of someone. I don't know why. You never know why. Unless you get hit in the nose. You always know why, dude. They're doing blowsky.

Oh, dude. It's also one of those weird ones to say. There's a few things that happen to you that are bad. Like, when someone is suffering a nose bleed, like they're the victim of that scenario, but they care more about everyone else around. It's okay. I get these a lot. Like everyone else is almost the priority when someone is having a nose bleed.

It's just like, it's like the embarrassment. You want to like get in front of it and just be like, no, no, no, don't look at yeah everything's fine you know it's a good move that no one's done yet is you're so right when you get a nosebleed you instantly start caring about everybody else you want to settle them yeah people should do the same thing when they get boners in public oh yeah like NRBs yeah like instead of just hiding it going small with shame be like you're at Starbucks you rip a wood stand up you're like whoa everyone

I got a boner here don't worry it's not motivated everybody relax just a boner it'll be fine it'll go down in a minute and then you take like and then it'd be nice if someone handed you a tissue you know with a nose bleed here's a tissue

put your head back so you have a boner you put your head back and then you put a tissue down right or they they hand you a tissue like no I'm not gonna I don't need it I'm not gonna thank you I'm fine I'm not immediately they like start talking about like baseball stats or like something to like you know Deki Matsui

yeah like what was his batting average 273 what year was that and then you're like and then your boners got oh five yes I do think it's kind of unfair that we're just told to flip it into the waistband

because you know with when women have menstruation it's like they're like oh feminine hygiene you know go take care of it but with men they're like flip that into the waistpan we don't want to see it yeah you know what I mean and it's like if people

were like oh men's hygiene you just have a boner totally and i think that's agreed also i would even say with menstruation you know the mood is elevated the endorphins are going people say you know there's a syndrome along with it i would say there's a syndrome along with getting a boner what yeah what is menstruation uh it's where it's it's where the uterine lining is shedding because the ovarie is released an egg. That happens to my mom? Mm-hmm. Does that happen all the time?

Is she okay? All the time. Yeah. It's a nosebleed out of your cooch. Oh. Everything Chad just said is absolutely right. So how come when women get these nosebleeds, they're not making sure that they're,

rest of the room's okay. Yeah. Like when I get in those. They're much more subtle about it than you or me would be with a nosebleed. Really? Well, it happens more often. They're living with it all the time. I think it, you know, it's not their first rodeo.

Yeah. Sorry, go ahead. When a woman gets a menstruation, does she stand up and say, hey, it's okay, I get these? I'll be fine. Like at work? Yeah. Or like in an elevator or something. Like when she gets a new job?

Yeah. Sorry, no, menstruate. I thought you said promotion. Menstruation. When a woman gets administration, sorry. What? Yeah, I think like, I think like when, you know, when women get menstruation or when dudes get boners, we should be psyched because it indicates good health.

You know, it's like, oh, you're menstruating. Good job. You're fertile. You know, and then with dudes, we get bono. Like, dude, nice, especially if they're, like, older, if you can tell they're older, be like, dude, nice job, man. Like, so stoked that you have good circulation and your blood flow is good and your wiener can still handle it.

Yeah, we shame men for being men. If you go to your local convenience store or pharmacy, there's huge sections for female hygiene. Huge. It makes up, like, 20% of the floor space. Yeah. But if you go in there, there's no section for dudes boners. No. true none there's one the only place they ever have a boner section for a dude's boner is in a gas

station and it's on one of those little twirley things yeah yeah and that's the only place they know how to like make us feel seen you know gas stations because it's like there's the boner pills and there's like a hot dog right there and it's like that's all i need baby right you know that baby's probably been spending in there for eight hours i'm gonna take that yeah Are gas stations the men's pharmacy? I think, yeah. Yeah, they got energy drinks. We got monster hot dogs.

Those are good for boners. Slurpees. Boner pills, slurpees. Yeah. Nudy mags. I would say in, at risk of being a cunt. A what? Maybe a cunt.

It was in England. I was just in England. Thank you, yes, exactly. A bit, you know what people say there? A bit, they say cunny. Yeah, they like, I like that. I think I hammered it too hard. They don't do it.

That's the thing. We hammered the tea too hard. It's why it doesn't work. But the women's pharmacy section sort of does double as my boner section. Do you know how many of my wife's lotions I've used to crank? Oh, interesting. All of them. Everyone, and some of them are lubricants?

Or is she a fragrance-free lady? She likes to stick away from the fragrances because she has the sensitive skin. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, that's what I was asking, because I was worried about your dink with the fragrances. Thank you. Luckily, my wife steers clear. And when we were in France, a lot of the skincare products we have come from France. And so we went to a pharmacy there, and you can get them, you know, tariff-free.

And you can even get a tax reduction if you bring your passport. And so I was there buying all sorts of moisturizers being like, oh, man, I'm going to absolutely obliterate my penis. Oh, right. Yeah. Yeah, where they have like the little, where you take it to the airport, you get the VAT tax taken off, right? You go up and you do it. And you can, for convenience, you can even do it right in the pharmacy, but you can also do it at the airport. She did it with some handbags when we went to Italy several years ago.

She bought two Gucci bags, and she saved a lot of money taking it because you get the tax added back. Yep. You get that money back. It's nice. you know my fiance has a big tub of cocoa butter and I like to just you know I don't even like dispense the lotion I just you know insert you treat your penis like a tortilla chip and the vat like guac and you just scoop it up with your I'd say more case out that but I it's the case yeah it's more but I just use the whole thing so essentially you're humping the that I put it on the

floor and I just, you know, lay down on top of it and I just, you know, uh, and she, yeah, and recently she's like, how, how come I have more cocoa butter? Hey, guys, I have a boner. I'm just going to treat it like, dude, JT's, so just so you guys know I get these sometimes after you talk. Are you okay? You do? I'll be fine. I'm a little bit lightheaded, but I do have a boner. Hey, do you need a tissue? No thanks. I'm not going to crank right now. Dude, you know what's, that's cool about you having a boner? is you literally dress like a boner. Yeah.

That is cool. So that was my Europe trip. That's cool, man. Yeah, it was fun. My one-man show is back at Jamming the Van on November 7th. Guys, it's my birthday show. If you're in Southern California, come out. It's going to be a blast.

It's going to get you stoked. Then we're going to be in Pittsburgh, November 20th. Potsetown, November 21st, Philadelphia, November 23rd, Santa Cruz, December 5th, and then we're going to be in Aspen, I believe, December 12th or 13th. So keep your eyes peeled for that. Guys, we were brought to you by Legends at Home Chef. Home Chef is the best meal kit biz in the game. Guys, if you want to, you know, if you want to get your meals planned out with healthy options,

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So my fiance kept walking ahead of me, and the scare actor would come up to her in me, he'd be like, da! And then I'd come up, and he'd be like, duh, and they'd be like, dude, I just saw you. Get back in your corner and prepare. And I told her, I'm like, babe, walk by my side. You're ruining my scares. And she's like, you're holding up the whole line. I'm like, I paid $200 for this fast pass, okay? I'm going to get scared. And afterwards, she was like, I loved how assertive you were in that haunted maze.

What happened after that? We made out. Very nice. Dude, it's- I've had bad experiences where, like, a haunted house that I went to one year, then the next year, they're just like, they're letting too many people in too fast because they're trying to make bills, which I get. But it's like, you don't want to,

have your shit messed up like that and then we got penalized for going too slow and they made us they put us in time out for five minutes dude it's whoa yeah but it's like no we had to slow down because everything was being spoiled

by because we're like two feet behind the people in front of us they put you on time out they called it time out yeah like somebody came out and was like hey you need to stand here and wait for five minutes dude it's a it's a real thing because like a universal is so popular that they they just

they're like as many people per minute and so it ruined the whole experience you know and I would wait I would hold people up we were in the

we were in the what's Brad Fuller's movie we're in the quiet place we're in the quiet place monster came out and was like to these people ahead of me and then he's like

and I'm like dude like have some you know don't you care about your craft it also is on them for like having like if this guy jumps out and scares here make sure that this lady is on the next one so that it's not like you're not not everybody gets every scare you know what I mean it's like depending on the timing of it maybe it's like in every other kind of thing yeah yeah but they got to be drilled on that

and maybe there's need to have more back scares you know what I mean like it's kind of maybe what you were saying we're like if your fiancee is walking too far in front of you if there's a back scare where they pop out from behind you once you pass them you could still be okay right you know side scare or a front scare scare she's burnt you she's she's screwed you dude there was the best one that's a great point and the best one is uh the schmole and i went to a haunt and maize last year but this was a different hot at maze we turned a corner and there's a guy just with no pants on he was just Dropping dong. What's scary about that?

That's the thing. It was awesome. You know, so they basically are packaging homosexuality as scares so that you are able to be gay without thinking you're gay? Exactly. That's really smart. Whoa. Where was this? You know who loved it?

You know who loved it? Kevin. Oh, yeah. That's right up his alley. That's a good move, too, to be like, hey, we're both gay, but he's gay. I'm getting me. He likes being gayed We tried to get Joe to come so badly

Joe you got to come And he's like What is this? We couldn't tell him It's like it's just Hon. A maze with dudes with their dick out But I mean that's Joe

But do you When the guys pop out With their dicks out Do you just go Ah Or do you Um I was like

Yes And I just gave him a little tap Tom cruised it Yeah Yes Yes Yes Good, good, bad, ill.

Yeah. You know the finale. Seven, four, eight, ten. Yeah, exactly. And you know what the finale is, is you turn a corner and at eye level, there's a guy like standing up at a high level. There's a guy just helicoptering his penis. Wow.

That's cool. Is he circumcised? No. Good. That's healthy. That's right. I don't want him to be autistic. As a circumcised guy, I do think it's like, I'm sure I would have gotten a lot of ridicule for

it because like, that's, you know, boys and people. but I don't know. I just don't get it. Circumcision? Yeah. Unless it's like, I get it more for like the religious right. You know what I mean? Like right of passage, but I don't know.

Why are Catholics doing it? Well, how did they come up with circumcision? Like early in the early in history? I have no idea. There's a passage in the Bible. It's insane that God was going to like smote Moses and his wife to like preserve to save him from God's wrath. took her flint rock and cut the skin off of their kid's penis.

It wasn't just some guy being like, why are we depriving people of seeing the helmet? But you're not. That's what I don't get. Right. You know what I mean? It's more of like... I just never looked at it.

Like, look, I get it. It's not the most aesthetically pleasing, but I don't think I'd ever take a knife to it to try and improve it. I remember that. That is like a... You're going from A to C. Yeah. When you look up that passage about Moses's...

son being circumcised. I was just opening the Bible in a, yeah, look at this. Yeah, I nailed it. Because I always thought it was so interesting, so I'm like, why? There's no context for it. So you're like, why would God think that was the move? Like, was there like a million things that she could have done? And she just happened to pick like number 785,000.

And it's like, yeah, that works. Like, that's cool. Good enough. She was quick on her feet. She thought fast. I just wanted you to apologize, but that works. That's her first method of, like, helping the situation out is snipping the cock. Like, she didn't even try, like, talking to God first or, like, hey, Moses, maybe try changing this or whatever the exact.

If it, like, if he was going to get smited by, like, I don't know, locust, like, hey, stay inside. She's like, no, no, no, no, we got to take your cock off. And he might have been going to kill him because he failed to circumcise Gresham. That would make more. At least if they teased it first. When I read it, it was at a left field.

So I don't know if I had a bad Bible or if I misremembery. Bad Bible is a good name for a band. Yeah, that is good. That's a great band. I was thinking about if I got to the gates of hell, like what I would do in heaven. Because there's like certain things

that like I don't know if I made the right decision and I'll never get an answer. You know what I mean? So, like, heaven, I could just, like, I show up, Peter's at the gates, and I'm like, I was thinking about it in terms of, like, raising my daughter, but then immediately I went to the next one was, like, Peter, did begging for sex mean that I had more or less sex? And then I imagine him being, like, you had sex three less times than he would have otherwise or like something like that, you know?

Like, like, there's like things like that where, like, I can't do the A, B experiment. so like I'll just never know but there are things that I want to know but they have the data up there yeah like what I just be like the first like couple days I'm in heaven is just like pepper and like okay when I did this and should I've done that or that and they're yeah how big of a bummer would it be a negligible difference massive difference you know and then Peter's like yeah but we've been using a wS for our cloud and their systems went down so we lost a quarter of your data yeah right no we were we were just cleaning up old files and we threw all those out so we don't have like seven to 15 we we were missing most of that stuff what can you do you chose not to pay the dollar 99 cents a month to

update your cloud service so we don't have any of your back yeah like if you're not putting money in the basket at church they're just wiping your memory yeah that's what that's what you'll be happy here you just won't remember everything yeah anything really based I'm looking at your plan now and you have no memories so step on in enjoy your favorite dinner her every night but yeah you're not gonna know what you should have done you know how I ask for sex when I you know how I beg for it is I'll play with my food on my plate and she'd be like why aren't you eating them yeah that's a smart way to do it yeah just and I just and I just slam my fork down I'm like I'm gonna go take a walk women love petulants they they love it yeah and she's like

and then never say what it is yeah because like what's the point you have to guess you have to guess why I'm angry and this hasn't happened yet but I'm I assume if I keep doing it should be like do you need anal yeah and it's the best way to get anal you can't just ask and you know what every time I just know that's sonny's book because sunny always gets a treat when he sits like a good little boy and so what I in the middle of the kitchen and it's so cute so I when I'm super horny I put a little collar on my neck and I get totally naked like the dog and I just sit in the middle of the kitchen and she knows that that means

I'd like to have stand-up sex so do you go are you trying to mimic the way that like are you going like you're sitting on your shins like feet on your butt or do you go like criss-cross applesauce. So I start off sitting like a dog position like that feet back under my butt right and my paws

down on the ground will even lift one paw like to shake but then sometimes I do get tired and I have bad knees so yeah and your feet will be asleep sitting on like that unless you like hover a little bit but that's it hurts it hurts and and my wife will know and sometimes she makes me really earn it so i've sat there all night overnight and then have had really good morning um morning sex wow oh nice dude hell yeah yeah it's awesome dude because i earned it yeah you worked really hard

for women love when you're persistent and you show grit and it's like i know i can get through the tough times 100% and great equals fit yeah amen to that back to this maze that you went to the haunted maze when the guys would um when you'd get a scare so you'd come around a corner with the guys wearing I'm imagining like a shirt and just no pants would they make a noise he's wearing a Reebok shirt okay so Reebok shirt sneakers like quiet shoes and then his penis out did he make a noise would he go, ah, or was he just relying on the visual presentation of his penis being exposed? He's super stoic. He was like a knight in England.

Oh yeah, one of those guards. One of the guards, yeah. And he's just, you know, you try to mess with him. And he's like, no, I'm here for one purpose only to show you my penis. And at the end, but the scary part at the end was like, hey, am I gay or not? That's, I think. Did you find out at the end of the maze? That's like the promise.

I found out that I found out that. I am gay. Yeah. So they came through with the promise that. Worth it. Yeah. Yeah. No, it's in North Hollywood.

You guys want to go? Yeah, I'm down. Kevin's surprisingly not gay. That is surprising. Huh. He just loves cock. Right. You know what I mean?

I know that Kevin's like that. I know that he, yeah. A guy who just loves pussy, too. Yeah, he's like, yeah. I just love them. I just love talking about them. I love writing songs about them. Dude.

Can you imagine Kevin which is instead of writing dong songs? He can't play my next pussy song? Guys, I'm interrupting this podcast, so you know once again that we were brought to you by hymns. Guys, no one plans for hair loss. No one likes to talk about hair loss

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Individual results may vary based on studies of topical and oral monoxideal and finasteride. Prescription required. See website for full details, restrictions, and important safety information. fellas it's Halloween we're drafting so in honor of the spooky season we're taking it away from the celluloid and we're putting it straight into reality we're drafting the scariest experiences these are the top scary moments a human being can endure Ooh. Let's kick it off. Odds or evens. One, two, three, shoot.

Bang. Fourth pick for Chad. One, two, three, shoot. Bang. I did not want to go. I get the number one pick every time. You've at least been playing rock paper, scissors every time for like eight drops around. Rock paper, scissors, shoot.

Rock paper, scissors, shoot. Rock paper, scissors. Shoot. Wow. Three rocks in a row. Oh. You know, he's a rock. He never changed.

I thought you were going to go paper there and I would have got you with scissors. No, you did good there, man. You tried her hardest. Okay. So for the number one scariest experience that human can go through, I'm going with something I haven't fully endured, but I've tasted it. I've tasted the moment. And fortunately it passed and I was safe. I was safe but when you are out in the ocean and a set rolls in large and overhead and you try to

duck that first wave and you get pushed down and you feel that power you feel that toe and your body gets spun around like four Arnold Schwarzenegger's are fighting over your limbs you don't know which way is up you're running out of air and you pop out above the waters oh my hair. my arm, okay. And then you look, and an even bigger wave crashes down on you. And you're pushed down again with less air than you had before. And you realize I could die. Maybe you're only 80 feet from shore.

It doesn't matter. You're at the mercy of the largest elemental force available to humans. And it crushes and pounds. And then finally, through some grace of God, Poseidon, whoever you look to, to save you you make it to shore and for my money there's no worse feeling than feeling like you're going to drown yeah scary yeah dude the two wave hold down oh the two wave hold down when you when you're underwater and you're like you don't know which way is up and you're like ah and you're just ah ah ah ah ah ah and then you're like finally you're like you're gonna get up then the wave

and you just go right back down. Yeah, because you get that and then you don't even get the breath. Yeah, you're still under. It's like half of it. And then you're back under. Two wave hold down. Put that.

It sounds cooler. Two wave hold down. That is cool. I've never heard that before. They do a good job of portraying this in the movie Blue Crush. I mean, that's her whole thing. She gets two or three wave.

She gets a whole set hold down. She like can't even surf again. So, yeah, JT, this is a great pick. I had, like, being caught in a rip current in mine and then being pulled out to sea. But this is the same thing. It's like, it sucks, dude. You think you're going to die, which is very scary. Death is up there.

All right, Strata, you're up. Okay. This is tough. It could go a lot of directions. Let's see. Let me look at my list real quick. just so I do this right because I can't

fucking blow it on my first pick. Yes, you can. Yeah, that's true. I want to see how you bend this one. I'm very capable of this. Dude,

how about drafting and then dead silence after a pick? I mean, that's scary, dude. It's pretty tough. Absolutely, absolute disaster.

You know what? Whenever you do this, you always think it's going to crush. You're like, this one's going to crush and you drop the hammer and everyone's like, uh-uh.

Uh-uh. It's, but the silence is better than what and laughter yeah oh yeah like where nobody's pulse raises anything you know everyone's just neutral okay okay for me this one did pop out first to me um is and i don't know if everyone experiences this but i have on a on a few few occasions but that feeling of when you get sleep paralysis when you are your mind is awake but you can't move your body so I don't know if you've felt that and then literally I felt it so much where I thought and sometimes it comes with hallucinations

I went to the doctor after it to be like dude do I have like sleep apnea or whatever I got tested because it was freaked me out that much I don't have it or anything but I've had a few experiences with it and I literally thought a demon was talking to me whoa yeah maybe it's because of my Catholic upbringing, but like, it's, it's the deepest recesses of your brain come out during it. And like, you're struggling so hard. And then finally you wake up and you're like, oh my God, thank God, that wasn't real. It is the worst experience. It's one of the worst experiences I've had. I don't know if I've ever had like legit sleep paralysis. It's rough. I've had, I've had like nightmares and stuff. But do you feel like you're shaking, right? You're like, wake up, wake up, wake up,

wake up. And you're like, I can't. And then you finally, ooh. Yeah. Yeah. And also a similar along with drowning they both have the yeah like a loss of bread waking up like that is so because you're so rattled too and like sleep is supposed to be like peaceful and restorative and it just felt like you're not going to get good sleep after that like your whole night's ruined and like you're just going to be on edge and you have like just like that adrenaline it's just it gets you so frazzled and it's one of the reasons that they come up with the witching hour, which is like 3 a.m. Because that's generally when you're...

Yeah, it's demon o'clock,000%. Can you put demon a clock next to my thing? It just sounds pretty cool. And it's because that's most statistically when most people are asleep at that time when you're in a rapid eye movement REM cycle. That's when this will happen the most. You know, there's actually speculation

amongst the paranormal community that 3 o'clock a.m. is the time period when most people are asleep across the world and in the collective consciousness there's only so much dream juice available and so the people who are suffering from sleep paralysis are on the low end of

getting dispensed the dream serum and that's why they come awake The Sandman? Sandman's a dream guy, right? So he's only got so much bandwidth so we need to start writing letters to him or something to make sure you can get the dream juice? And then materially they think that

they're actually a speculation that government bodies control the flow of dream juice I've heard that and so they have Department of Agriculture we don't know why

and we don't know where but we have theory that they're actually taking dream serum out of the American populace right now and sending it elsewhere where would they send it? Qatar Right

So fuck Yeah Yeah Qatar is sealing our dreams Mm-hmm And they've And they've And they've

And they've Shown that When Dream Juice is in a culture That's when the Romans built all their megastructures

That's when The pharaohs Of Egypt were able To construct their great projects Because when that

Dream Juice is in the populace People are more energized When awake And it drives Economies So my question

They're more creative Their dreams My question is Where the Were the pyramids a result of Egypt siphoning dream juice? Or were the pyramids the way that they would siphon dream juice? Well, that area is just a heavy vector for natural dream juice too. Oh, okay, that makes sense.

Cradle of civilization, so it has a lot of like residual stores of like reservoirs of dream juice. Because that's where there are certain longitudinal, latitudinal zones in the pyramids of Giza is one. And yes, Chris Dancer, yes to both your... Right. Because like what you would build it there because that's where it is. Because like you're going to build an oil drill where there's oil underneath. You're not going to put it somewhere else. Right.

That makes sense. And I imagine that's where like lay lines intersect. That's a yes. I don't want to cross-pollinate with layline mythology though. Of course my fault. I'm, I'm new to this. This is all new to me. So I'm just throwing shit at the wall.

But there is a tendency to sort of, you know, supinate the ideas into a sort of a melange yeah you can blend it all and you have to be careful of that there's a few good breakdowns on rumble.com where you can find stuff out. And supinate means to turn into soup. Mmm.

Mmm. And the reason Qatar is getting the dream juice is because that's how we're paying off the federal debt. It's data centers. Yeah. In exchange for them taking on some of our more crude externalities, we're giving them, as Strider talked about, a creative thrust via American Dream Juice. So that's why, you know, when people say the American Dream is dead, they mean that literally. Yeah, that's actually fucking insane that you just nailed that.

Yeah, it's almost like the government has a conspiracy, whereas the American dreams are dead. but they cut off the s to make to like confuse us yeah you know that it's not it's like that it's like this singular thing but it's no it's all of our you know imaginations are being chopped off at the knees Chris is such a good point because that's what the cabal likes to do they do like to flaunt their power in our face they build the stone masons they build these like the power the pyramids of Egypt these massive massive public works look at the stone masons look at the temples look at the eye of um what's the i called on our dollars i have saron i have saron it's there it's right in our face they do like to flaunt their power but in an esoteric sort of way so but if you

it's not like you wanted to say clandestine but i think that's right you stopped yourself yeah there is a i did want to say clandestine but um i suppose that's more like spy oriented which they do have spies that work for them there's no question but yeah that's what i'm saying i don't think it's a There's massive skullduggery. Yes. And it's like, okay, so is this, I hate it because it's such a catch-all, but also, like, maybe it's for a reason, but like, are we thinking Illuminati? Yeah, of course.

I mean, well, that's the simpleton version of it, which, I mean, you know, it has its place and it somewhat overlays with reality. But once you get into the actual granular machinations of control, manipulation, dark triad, kind of mass sociopathy, you realize the Illuminati is. like kind of a red herring meant to distract the hoi-poly from the real contrivance, which is the dream thievery from the economical industrial superpower materialization of weaponized discomfort through the VIA tonalities of insufficient reduction. That makes sense.

That tracks for me. That's exactly right. To offer an analogy, sort of the Illuminati would be your marching ant to the, or a worker bee to the greater colony that, of course, ants

exist underground, right? Yes. Yeah. Via passage. Yep. Through canal. The tip of the iceberg. But I do worry that I don't want to lose the layman. So Chris, take it, take it

with this next pick. sun's going down no cell reception nothing around cars close to empty oh hills have eyes scenario dude because how fast do you go

I am going to get eaten out here by mutants or something like I'm going to get murdered just running out of gas in the middle of nowhere no cell reception

I've done a lot of road trips even when you plan for it's like you know I'll just try and get to the next one it'll be fine and then you're sitting there like I haven't seen building in 30 minutes so you're almost saying like alone with hillbillies yeah you're not saying that you're not saying that i'm saying like you're almost not saying that i'm saying like just any time we're like

because a lot of this is like look there will be a gas station eventually and like you probably won't but it's just you're alone or even just one other person and like you're just in the middle of nowhere and you're about to run out of gas and you don't know what's going to happen to you yeah would you say seeing a toothless person with a banjo. That's, well, that means you are dead. That's like, so I want to, Jake, if you could put Hills Have Eyes scenario in parentheses. Smart, smart, smart, smart. Because I think that's where your mind goes.

Yes. Vulnerable. A thousand percent of animals did a good job of this. What? Nocturnal animals. Yeah. Yep. Wolf Creek.

Or like, or like, or like, a different version of this, there's just one car behind you. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's even worse. You know, and it's been, like, you know, like. no one else is around and it's just making the same turns as you are just any scenario like that where you just feel like you said vulnerable yeah desolation isolation is very terrifying it's probably number three for me i think you picked it in the right spot and i feel like it's something that everyone has an experience of you know what i mean where it's like it is it is it is pretty universal

in our day and age of like just that where the fuck am i if something happened to me no one would ever know yeah yeah that's a great one yeah 100 000 and even worse even heightened by if you're you know you're a father you have your wife and your small child in the car with you and now you're like great you know i think that's a really good pick too and i think we all got tired from the uh from the different jags we've done yeah i think our our brain juice is actually low so i think we all got to stand up and bump chest real quick yeah good call to get our energy It is, like, oh, you know, like, some of that, like, what's up, baby? Yeah.

Come on, give me a. Oh, let's go. Yeah. There we go. There we go. Oh, yeah. Yeah, we got. Yeah, we could act.

Oh, let's go. All right. Oh. You got to do this. Oh, but do you have magic minds, Jake. I'm a boner now. Yeah, we might need. We might need some, we might need some magic minds, too.

Yeah, I think I need a magic mine. You know, I've actually. started doing something new that has been a revelation for me and my family. Going out to dinner as a family. Oh, really? What made you want to do that? Well, I was delving into Greek philosophy and there's this idea. It's called the art of interlocking. And basically, when you're in public with your family,

the collective perception redefines the self. Whoa. It's been great. It's been great, too, because Yard House is doing pot stickers. Whoa. They're pretty good. All right, Chad's up with two picks. We just re-energized.

All right. The boys are firing. Is this a magic mind for me? Yeah. Fuck yeah, dude. All right, all right. Now, this one is, you know, I think most people have gone through this because most people bone. right you know we use different avenues to get there we put on a collar we sit in the kitchen

for me I throw food um a cry and bang a cry and bang JT dresses as a banana um to give a more you know um that's phallic yes thank you um and so let's say you know you're you're you're 20 year old and you bone you bone a flusie nice then your pee burns after oh this is a good one dude did not see that coming the STD scare this is great the STD scare especially when you're young because and we can get into conspiracies here too but they they scare you in class they they are like hey if you get these you are muffed which when you get older you're like it's not really that bad but you could get warts you can get you know you could you could have goo come out of your weenie yeah discharges yeah that words that verb stuck with me do you know really help me get over you know what really

help me get over a lot of my STD fear was getting herpes because you you know, the fear of the unknown is more powerful than what it actually is. Yeah, because, like, you're like, oh, what if I get herpes and then one day you get it? And then you're kind of like. And you're still chill. I try to. I try it. I think you became chilling when you got it.

Thanks, man. Do you think you found out that more people have them than you had thought previously? Oh, for sure. I mean, because I would tell chicks, I'd be like, I have herpes. And then oftentimes they'd be like, I do too. and I'd be like, when were you going to tell me? I was waiting for you to tell me. I, um...

But you can still get AIDS, which is scary still. That's scary. AIDS, dude, that's a good pick. I remember, uh, yeah, I mean, I think that's included in my age experience. I think you got to be specific. Dude, you want all the STDs, dude? You have to pick one, bro. STD is STD.

No, dude, you have to pick one, dog. That's like picking all of booze, bro. Yeah, that. I get every type of ghost on my list. That stands. I remember when we went to like CBS and you got like a minute AIDS test. The aura quick. 80 bucks for that thing.

You took it, you took it with no fear. I wouldn't even go near it. I'm like, dude, I don't even want to know. Yeah. That's like when you never max bench. You don't really ever want to know how much you can do. It's better to tell yourself you can do more. That was weird to me that you didn't want to know if you have AIDS or not.

No, I don't want to know. I'd rather just go through life not knowing and then die. And he'd be like, he had AIDS the whole time? I'd be like, yeah, I didn't even know. The chance of you getting it from unprotected sex with a female, even if she's carrying a maximum viral load, is like 2.7%. And on average, the chances are much lower. So to all the fellas out there, like strap up for sure,

but you're not going to get AIDS that much. Well, that's a great point. But here's the thing I didn't tell you before we did this is I just come from the penis scare maze. Oh, that's definitely going to put you in a strange headspace for AIDS. Yeah, I mean, I didn't even... Okay. That is a great pick, dude. So when you would have an STD scare, would you cruise like Planned Parenthood?

Or would you go to a family doc? What was your go-to? Yeah, I never got it checked out. Oh. So you just kind of wrote it out. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Just until, you know, I was like, I'll just pee it out.

yeah I mean that's probably the best way to do is like if you just kind of ignore it like you have to treat diseases and stuff like schmoles you kind of have to just ignore it and then it'll go away yeah no I would just kind of like too big of a seat at the table yeah I would just uh because here's the thing um not knowing is better than knowing so when you go around and people are like hey do you ever been checked for their CDs no don't you want to know no less history more mystery or even better just be like I don't have them I'm like how do you know it's like because I've never gotten a test that said I do exactly and you're not lying you're not lying and they do say ignorance is bliss but really ignorance is piss that burns All right, my next pick My next pick My next pick Okay, here's my next pick

You're at your house It's dark It's nighttime Then what happens The TV turns on and goes straight to static Oh yeah Yep How old is your TV

From 95 Yeah like nowadays It would just turn on and go to like Roku City Dude it's true It just goes to Roku City Which is, or do we have to Keep going

That's all I got That is scary I guess it I'm more shocked at how old your TV is, to be honest with you. That's scary. Because like you get a flat screen for like nothing, dude? You do it on like

Prime Day? Shit. For real? I mean, it's like two bones. But yeah, it's like, for what it is, it's solid. Damn. You get a really nice one, like pretty good size for like a couple hundred bucks. Really? It's not nothing but compared to what they used to be. You know what I mean? And they're flat.

Oh. They're not like the, because your TV I imagine's like, I mean, from front to back, probably like on a couple feet damn yeah it's a couple feet I mean I like that's news to me because I told my fiance I was like you know either we get a new car or TV you know we can't spend money on both so what year's the car 95

good year good yeah I think it's the year clueless came out good it's a great year 95 is a great great year I'm a 95er all the way through who won the Super Bowl on 95 go Cowboys did they I watched paranormal activity last night it holds up dude that movie's scary bro

yeah should we should we have given him more on the static on it I just haven't seen it in forever I guess how I was alluding to is there's ghost shit going on right I don't know I mean can I like one other things can happen in your house yeah can you say just have like

just have like a TV on when like all of a sudden like it wasn't like you're home alone it's night time and then all of a sudden like an electronic thing is on exactly that's like it's just now

okay to striders point like I have a Samsung so it would automatically be on like Samsung TV that like just comes free with the TV

and it would probably be like an animal show it was like yeah it was anachronistic like you're like what happens when the Morse code

buttons start going off right yeah you know when your AM radio pops on and it's just somebody going yeah

exactly yeah when it when it's straight up like 15 year old chick comes through the TV. Yeah, dude. A little ghost girl, dude. I hate that. Yeah. That's so scary. Yeah, when someone comes... Why are you

wet? Yeah, exactly. Like, how does that work? Yeah. So you're almost saying, like, unexplainable technology phenomenon. Yeah. Ghost shit. Like lights, popping. Yeah. Yeah. Lights going off. Music just starts playing. That is the

freaky. And then you hear like something fall in the other room and you're like, how did that happen? You Even if it's like a paper clip, you know? A kid's toy starts going off for no reason. Yeah. Yeah, dude. So, yeah, just go shit. Dude, your landline telephone rings.

And then you answer it and you don't hear anything besides a breath and then a click. Dude, you have a landline? No, no, you do. A butch kind of LGB. Right, right, right. Yeah, you know you have one of those phones where you hold it up to your ear and you have to do the fucking rotary phone, dude. Yeah, yeah.

Dude, your pager, you can't find your pager. Hello? Hello? That's a good pick, dude. Go shit is a good pick. It's a good pick. In the house. Yeah, when you're alone.

Go shit in the house when you're alone via technology. Perfect. That's exactly right, dude. All right, Chris. We're going five, right? I think we're just going to do four on this one. I'm going to go with, dude, when you're, when you got a pet chimp and you love your pet chimp and you guys get along so great.

And then one day out of nowhere, your pet chimp gets violent and just rips off your face. Yeah. Dude, great pig. Wow. A chimp rips off your face? Pet chimp rips off eats your face. Yeah. I mean, this is personal for us.

Our dad actually took NIM from the anthropology. and 83 when we were born later on moved him into our new port duplex and uh he was chill but he had a temper wow did they get ornery the older they get when they're young they're kind of nice and cute and then you know like humans when they get older you know the chimp gets conservative it doesn't want anyone else moving into the house right doesn't want don't tell me i can't have ice cream it's my body i get to do what i want yeah it's bad for your heart oh you have to watch your no screw you and then you set some rules around in before you know it they eat your face where the fuck are my cigarettes yeah your chin just wants to sit and and they never say sorry

it's like nym nym you ripped at our faces you you slammed our little cousin around like a punching bag and he's are you still talking about that is that all you cares oh so we're all just my mistake is just the biggest story of everyone's life i'm like nim you really did some physical damage, man. We got to reckon with this. He's like, you get over it. All right. It's not the, it's not the biggest thing in the world, me, okay?

You, do you. What have you done right? Yeah, everyone's looking at me. And then, yeah, the chimp, you know, has a couple of beers and then takes the car out. And you're like, dude, you can't do that. I'm better at driving when I'm drunk. I'm more focused when I'm drunk. You got a speeding ticket two months ago.

You were sober, though. So I guess, you know, should you drive drunk now? It doesn't even make sense. It doesn't even make sense. Yeah. I'm just going to the cheesecake factory. It's around the corner. Yeah, and it's also like this is a loved one, you know?

That's the thing is the betrayal. Yeah. You treat a chimp like a human, it'll act like a chimp. You treat a chimp like a chimp, it'll act like a human. Yeah. Chimps are such assholes. Yep. Except for when they're cute, you know?

Except when they're giving hugs and kisses. They're not all bad. When Dunstan checked in, when Dunstan checked in, that was cute. that was cute but a lot of that representation stuff I thought was super unfair not only to the chimps but to us humans you know like there there there's literally chip prop chimp propaganda where it's like oh dunstan he's cute oh the guy on the baseball team with donnie danza good guy that was not my experience with chimps at that time no to me it was this kind of soft bigotry where we were misrepresenting them culturally and then you know they're getting adopted brought into our house beating this shit out of us and our cousin and and it was like, I was like, I'll do respect to Dunstan Checks and it was a great movie as an important movie, but it set back society a bit.

Yeah, and it misaligned our expectations and, you know. It's an insane, well, it's, you know what it is? It's the liberal agenda in media, JT, because how many, when, how come we can't get a chimp? Who's a good father on TV? How can we can't get a chimp in a Taylor Sheridan series where he's just a dad? How come it always has to be a deadbeat?

You know, it's just, it's just sad. But I think there should have been a scene in Dunstan checks in where he went chimp crazy and he beat the shit out of one of his He was allowed to be like one of the concierge. She put the concierge on the ground and he just, he wailed on him, you know? Just like tearing.

That's a cheating. That's a real chimp. Rip the bell boy's face off. Rip his face off. Act two. And then maybe. Dunstan, no! Maybe it's the manager's dick.

It happens too much. People get too cozy. I taught him that. Because of the stuff. you know like the fact that like chimps have ripped off more than one face that's now it's like

fool me once shame on you fool me twice like shame on as humans you know we gotta stop letting this happen and chimps are able to achieve great things when given the opportunity they're the first ones in space maybe it was a dog but also chimps went to space first

yeah first one well the dog never came back the chimp did chimp came back first one to return from space what kind of dog I think it was a German Shepard it was the uh russians did that right yeah it was the russians yeah damn oh yeah instead of dunstan checks in dunston checks everybody yeah big ups to decent it's a banger all right strata you're up chris great pair amount plus all right this probably terrified me for years and not everyone can relate to

this but if you are afflicted with this you can relate heavily and that is chicks finding out you have a small penis huge and you guys did tons of work to make me comfortable with my little dick yeah but in high school i avoided girls there was even a girl that was into me that made me want to age up i didn't talk to her one i was afraid but two i couldn't have her finding out i had a little dick and then the whole school knew can you take us through the scenario when when a girl did look at your the first girl who looked at your penis what she said she's my wife now what she say well it was tough to find out because she was laughing

exactly what she said and then finally she's trying she's trying to say something but she was laughing so hard she she settled down and then when she finally settled down she said it's not that bad yeah

honestly it's bigger than I thought yeah yeah yeah and that helped me in the moment but yeah I was terrified of that because and you could put in their

maybe how you did with demon o'clock in caps people finding finding out your deepest darkest secret because that's kind of what that was for me my version of that was my little tiny penis

yeah that was huge for you I remember when I first saw yours I try to do it you know what I do is like that's I try to control the narrative now So anytime, like at a job interview, like when I was first applying at Benny Hana, and they said, describe yourself in three words, I said, I, baby cock.

And tiny penis, man. Yeah, tiny. I remember when you showed me yours, you know, you're like, I need to just show somebody. So you took your pants off and I was like, well, are you going to take your underwear off? And you were like, it is off. Whoa. I just went back to stuffing. You even said, when I first showed you my little penis, I showed you guys and you go, cool, man.

Yeah, we know you have pubs. And then I said, no, no, this is my cock. You know, there's been a huge breakthrough. I'm all for self-acceptance. But in the world of plastic surgery, dermal filler is huge. Yeah. People use it in their cheeks. They use it in their jaw.

They use it in their lips. Now, the world of plastic surgery has been primarily a female customer base for a long time. And I think a lot of that has to do with different gendered expectations. Yeah. Like dudes aren't supposed to care about how they look, but we do. Of course. I think you could go, I've looked into this myself. You can go and get like two shots of filler in your penis.

Are you serious? And it still looks natural. If you get a good injector, someone who's good taste that you trust, they'll assess your penis. They'll tell you what your kind of limit is. And a couple of shots, it doesn't hurt that bad. They'll numb you up. And you'll have a bigger dick for, depending on how your body metabolizes it, up to a year. Are you serious?

Yeah. And it's like a grand. That's so worth it. I would take money out of my Roth IRA to do that. You should. Just to feel, because everybody's like, oh, we'll accept yourself. It's like, brother, man, I want to have fun while I'm here. Yeah.

I want to have the biggest dick possible. If I can afford it, I'm going to do it, and I'm going to have a better day. That's like, I'll send you my lady's number. It's like a poster child for spend money to make money, dude, you know? It's an investment in infrastructure. Yeah. Like, yeah, it's a thousand bucks now, but how much am I getting back later? 10 G's.

After you give your, if you give your wife that down. payment. Yeah, maybe. No more pain in installments, dude. I'm some right at

the start. I think you could convince insurance to take it on because you're like, well, this is so people can actually see it.

Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, it's a legit medical necessity. Yeah. I think they would cover that.

It's not cosmetic. It's a penis. It's still generally not a grotesque body part. It's not seen as pretty. Yeah, I don't see it.

It's a little bit much. But yeah, I think chairs will cover it. I'll talk to my, my rep. All right. From my next one, um, all right, you're out in public. You've been having a great day. You've been responsible. You've been like on top of things. And then all of a sudden, it happens you got to take a dump this is good

oh dude yeah and there's no place with the toilet and you're in the middle of like van eyes and you're going to crap your pants and you end up you end up having to

shit in public and you're dumping next to a safe way we've all been there broad daylight and you're begging you're begging to get out of this thing

in one piece you know you got dreams they might be dashed if you get caught what if a kid a kid's you then now you have to register for a list just because you were shitting in public but you know it's true too i gotta say as a guy this

happened to me a couple weeks i told you guys i did just shit outside of a strip mall in sacramento um big shit it's almost like at that point like you hope it's big right because like you just do it for like a tiny i'm all that for that and i'm still here i'm not dead i bounced back well one time you took a dump in public and you left 20 bucks yeah i did do that yeah under the turd i thought that was going to be the last the last time it happened and that one was more intentional you put it down and then it was during COVID lockdown no one would let you go to the bathroom you couldn't go to the bathroom anyway no they would have let me they would have let me that's what people are trying I'm taking accountability I don't need your

help plan A was poop behind a big box store yeah it's true what was plan B going to a Starbucks no no no no all right I didn't I did a bad job during COVID I did not do a good job. You were shitting outside daily during COVID. No, don't even put that humor on me in some real way. That could really be a can around my tail. There is no way. All right.

My next one, I got to go straight from the gut on this one. Non-consensual cuckolding by a guy named Dante. Wow. Yeah. Wow. That's a great one, dude. I don't even think you need to explain that. No, I'm just leaving it there.

Yeah. We all know what that's like. That should have been number one. And not everyone's experienced that, but we all have. Yeah. And Dante plowed our ladies good. And everyone's like, well, how was you able to do it by himself? He brought a buddy.

Yeah. Yeah, of course. Enrique. His buddy was there. Yeah. And oh, is Enrique for you? Blocking the door. It was Angelo for.

me. Can you please move? I want to leave. You gotta watch, bitch. Wait, Angelo? You got cuckolded by Angela too? Mm-hmm. He's a good guy. Yeah. Disagree. If you find out your boy is into getting cucked and then you find out

he's never fantasized about you does that mean he thinks you're a bitch yeah probably shit what do you think that's what I was worried about so I got to start acting tougher

in front of my buddy yeah and it's also like what does he want from the situation you know what he mean like maybe he doesn't think that like yeah maybe he doesn't think that you would please her enough so why would he think about you you know what he mean so maybe you need to step up your game and talk to him about how good you are at at bowen yeah and then he'll think about it

i've been too humble yeah exactly yeah exactly that's so true like you gotta like just like because i get it you don't want to like nobody you don't want to brag how good your sex life is but like maybe you should i gotta start talking more guys we're brought to you by the legends at home chef the best meal kit biz in the game they have high quality ingredients we all know how frustrating it can be when you've had a long day at work or you're just you just trying to make that selection of what to eat and then you get that question what should we eat for dinner and you're like i don't know and then you decide on something you're like but what about all the ingredients oh we have to go the grocery store and get all this stuff it's too much home chef comes in they make it simple

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This is generally the older brother experience, but it also works with like anyone who's older than you or can definitely beat your ass. telling you hey dude I'm going to kick the shit out of you later this was on my list it's a great one and then being know and then knowing you're going to get your ass kicked but later

it sucks dude it happened at SM a couple times to me I remember someone I like yeah I like bullied some kid and then he's like do you know who his older brother is he's in a like juvenile and then his old brother was like I'm gonna fuck you up after school

dude for three weeks straight I had to sneak out. It's horrible. Jake, even take out the tough guy threat stuff. You know, we just,

just kick your ass, but kick you, I'll kick your ass later. There's something more about like, when they give a timeline because I'll kick your ass. It's kind of like a vague. Maybe,

maybe not. But if it's like, I'll kick your ass after school, it's like, fuck. You're dreading the last whistle. Yeah. It's like going to happen or like Friday.

It's like, fuck. Like anytime they get just a little bit more specific with the timeline, it makes it all the more real. It's the best. Even in Happy Gilmore, and you can count on me waiting for you in the parking lot.

Right. He's like, dude, now you're avoiding the parking lot. You can't go there ever again. And there's something about getting attacked in the moment where you don't have time to be afraid so your body just starts reacting. But when the fight's coming up later, you're like, people are going to be watching. Like, what if my arms and legs don't move because I'm so afraid? And like, what if I get humiliated?

There's this public, like, humiliation part that just, it gets so big and heavy you're like I don't think I can survive that and then how are you supposed to focus like throughout the day like you're still doing stuff you know what I mean like are you supposed to have a conversation with your friends and you're like

I'm like I'm shaking down to me yeah exactly it's like every waking thought it's like oh fuck you know definitely can't perform in French class yeah popcorn reading someone calls on you and you're like oh sorry I wasn't thinking about that I was thinking about how I'm going to get humiliated in front of all my classmates yeah and get a bloody nose

because some assholes gonna beat the shit out of me. Yep. And he's gone through puberty way more than I have. I have no chance. Then you go home, your dad sees you

and you tell your dad I got my ass beat today. That sucks. Your dad's like, oh, my kid's a dork. That's what your dad said, right, when you got your ass beat? Yeah.

Yeah, he didn't even ask me. And my dad's a medical doctor and I had very clear wounds that he could have helped me with. And all he said was, oh, so you're a fucking dork and then he did a burnout yeah he drove away he was picking me up from school i got beat up at carpool he was picking me up and then he left he sped off in his dodge viper yeah like straight to

taco bell i remember our buddy and junior high got suspended for shoving a girl to the ground and his dad was like talking to us about he's like yeah best phone call you can get the school called said your son's been suspended for hitting a girl like yeah that's pretty bad but there's actually something worse my parents ended up getting a call from the school and they're like come pick up your son he got his ass beat by a girl this little chick margotakazawa she fucked me up that was brutal because then mom was like well i'm glad you didn't try and fight back against a girl and then you were like i did fight back I just saw the first punch

I started the fight I went up to her and I was like dumbass I socked her you socked her right in the button right I hit her straight in the face she was a very good student

you know so I think you thought like oh you're a nerd yeah because you know she got really good grades and then she dropped kicked you in the face right after that

yeah it wasn't all bad though it wasn't all bad I made a lot of money on that fight oh you did oh you gave that that's sick yeah well because you know

well you don't what's good about that too like betting on like uh small humiliations is they won't let you put that on polymarket right because they don't let you bet on like uh personal outcomes unless it's part of a publicly respected competition so i've created like uh like our cousin can't get sober and i want to bet on it so i've created the sobi awards and i got it recognized by the city of panorama so now it's going to be on polymarket and you can bet on if uh that's sick if he's going to stay off drugs that's good that's good for people to bet on that i remember in water polo i got um this is true uh this girl charlotte just destroyed me she was like you know i was defending her and she was

dunking me underwater she pulled my speedo down oh you know she was just and she just like um she held me underwater until i like went unconscious and then i was flow you know everyone was so on her side that I was like floating face down in the water and you know then then they finally that you know due to like legal obligations they like resuscitated me and they're like you didn't make the team that's yeah that's the worst and so yeah not making a team is tough damn all right Chad you're up with two picks

no it's me Chris you're up with this pick you're excited about getting a text from a parent that says call me please oh yeah that's a great one the call me please is great or like call me asap just like I guess call me please is the best but because it's just like

who's dead yeah exactly exactly and it's always like hey when we have dinner in three months do you think you're gonna want to want sweet potato yeah I was thinking about that one do you remember and it's like

ugh it's August and the thing is someone still might be dead that could just be the wind up to somebody's dad. I don't know. That's a crazy windup.

Mostly my mom does that, you know what I mean? Where it's like, I have something horrible to tell you. Let me back up three months. Just to give you all the context, of which 100% of it is unnecessary. Oh, dude. And you don't even know the person. They'd be like, do you remember your cousin who you've met? one time you were four

you were four it was on this trip you met 30 other family members so you don't remember any of them but do you remember we were staying at a Hilton and remember there was a really nice waiter that we had well that waiter his friend died in a dirt biking accident yeah and you're like whoa so this was the this was the call me please important you know with a couple typos

call me please and very important and then underneath it they just want want to connect that's the thing but then they got it they think the death is like the fast track to you got to talk to me just and then it gets to a point did you kill him mom yeah just so you can text me yeah just so that you can give me this crippling anxiety they cut to your mom she's she's in the room with gloves oh my god john thomas did you hear her oh rickie got stopped to death yeah she's like terrible chopping the limbs off it's like oh no he's was such a sweet boy yeah someone broke into his house shank disaster dude my mom my mom will want to talk

and hang out so much she'll she'll send me uh picture text you figure out how to do that of like my sibling sleeping and she has a knife to their throat and she's like holy shit guess what could have happened i almost did it this time i swear call me yeah call me and then she'll be like hey what are you doing for brunch on sunday you should stay over you and the wife come down Stay at the house. She was dog sitting for me and she was holding the dog off a bridge. Yeah. She's like, hey, check this out.

And she's like, hey, what are your plans for the holidays? Yeah. Sometimes instead of saying, like, my mom is upgraded and she's so smart. Instead of me, like, call me, instead of saying, like, guess who died? She says, guess who's going to die. She was to guess who's next? And yeah, that it's like more active. And so I'm like, oh, my God, no, no, please no.

She's like, it could be anyone. Wow. It was like that movie Final Destination, right? He's like, Tomas, if you don't call me, guess who could die next? You're like, oh, no. Death is picking. Your neighbor, your neighbor, Rick. He gets pretty close to the street when he's cleaning his garden.

I'm like, no, don't kill Rick. No, no, no, no. Wow. All right. Chad, you're up with two picks rounding out your list. You're in really good shape. You got STD scare and ghost shit in the house alone via technology. Okay.

Wait, a ghost took a dump in your house? yeah um that's gonna be tough to clean uh okay this is that's gonna be tough to clean uh okay this is the moment let's say let's say you're skiing or let's say you're riding a bike or let's say you're running the moment when you know you're about to eat shit you ski off a jump that's way higher than you expected oh oh you do the you roll down the windows yep and then smack and the scariest part is because you look so uncool when that happens so my buddy kiffer you know i went to boarding school with kiffer he's cool dude he's from san Jose he smoked a lot of weed so you know and we were in california so we went to tahoe and he's like you can

You can ski pretty hard, huh? And I was like, dude, I rip. So he went to Kirkwood. There was a fat kicker. And he's like, so you rip, huh? Hit that jump. And I was like, no problem. Didn't have enough speed.

Roll down the windows, hit the flat. And then he's like, I was like, sorry, dude. I was like, sorry, dude. and he was like it's all good and uh chilling you know that also yeah he's like you're chilling

and I was like I'm not chilling you never asked me my ankle shattered I'm not chilling I need you to call someone fast that's another one of those you know yeah you lose your breath you're in air I know there's nothing

scarier than being airborne off a fat tabletop and realizing you just totally overshot the landing oh and you're just gonna fucking case it so hard dude just fucking flat dude he's like oh dude my nards are shot dude you just got to get bendy yeah that's the thing indeed you fucking feel your nuts go straight up to your adams apple oh yeah yeah dude my nuts are behind my eyeballs right now dude ow dude you're like dude i'm so like freaking far off the map like ski patrol can't even get to me if i totally like crank my femur.

Yeah. Even though I cooked all those boys fire Carnay Asada about a week ago, you know, and they're all like chowing down on it, but now I'm up here with a freaking compound fracture and they're not even going to cruise up, dude. So yeah, you definitely don't want to like bite it on like a big one like that. But yeah, like, huge bummer. For sure, like so much food and stuff is a really fun party. Dude, when you're going through the fucking board park and you fucking.

hit a nice rail and you come off that dude you land on your neck and fucking become a fucking quadriplegic dude and then you're dude that's so scary and you're just sitting there going well dude who's gonna smoke the pork butt now I'm fucking that's staring

I know I'm like dude I've all quad it up bro I'm in charge of the meat dude what am I going to be all like and you told your boys I'll meet you at the lodge and we'll hit the next run together and they're waiting for you dude I'm Derek's fucking ride how the fuck is he going to get back man yeah that's the worst part you got the car keys all the boys are stranded now

dude i get paralyzed like straight up who's gonna cruise to aberstens and grab all the food you know dude i was the guy texting the dealer dude the guys won't even get the shrooms everyone's fuck now dude that's my greatest fear that's yeah that's a really good one dude that's yeah um all right number four that's a good shout on the pork butt because i have been there and it always takes forever especially in altitude oh yeah you don't know how to compensate indeed you don't know how because like you're saying it like an Airbnb or like a cousin's play friend's place you know it's like you don't know how they're how their shit works and the

smokers using pellets not wood so it's all different yeah fuck yeah you don't have time to deal with like a spinal injury when you're like doing dinner for and dude some of the dudes too oh dude they're they're gonna be in they're hungry dude you need to feed the crew 100 you know otherwise otherwise they're not going to go out after that well yeah because like nice dude imagine but yeah i knew you know i know a bunch of dudes are hungry and then they can't eat like what do you do yeah yeah yeah one of them was going to be like you know and do the thing is if they got to settle in order dominoes they're going to be pissed but you know one of the dudes what you know oh yeah he'll be like well fuck it dude yeah

i'll do it and then it fucking but he doesn't it's like Brian i know you dude you're not going to follow through you don't follow through anything in your fucking life exactly you're You're not going to, it shit takes eight hours at this altitude, dude. Right, but then, then there's always that, that thing. Exactly, dude. No, no, dude. Chad knows the thing, dude. Oh.

That thing. Because it's exactly like that time. That one time when Brian said he'd do it. Yeah. And it was like that one time Brian said he'd do it and then he didn't do it. And then the coolest dude was like, bro, I'm hungry. For sure. And then he just kicks down the door.

Literally. Yeah. Like the coolest dude is like, bro, you know, you have like a pro snowboarder in there. And he's like, dude, I'm hungry. And then he leaves and he comes back three hours later and he's just, all he has is a freaking smearing off ice. Yeah. But it's like I know, like, I know that one thing always happens where like I know that. And it's like, if you leave, if you leave, uh, Corman McCona.

Hunging, hungry, dude. Oh, dude. It's a straight up ticket to Agroville, man. Yeah. Yeah, dude. If Cormick goes hungry, it's basically like, fuck. He won't even wax your rail. Cormick goes hungry is a legend. Yeah.

Kind of just thing. Yeah. You let Corman go hungry. Cormick go hungry, dude. It's like, that's going to be around for a while. All right. Are you guys ready for my final? We got to hustle.

All right. You're on the phone with your girl. Oh, fun. You're on the phone with your girl. This could be like a new girlfriend or like your friggin' spouse. And you're like, hey, babe, I'm going to be, uh, hey, babe, just having fun in Tucson on this business trip. And then you hear from a cross room, yo, who are you on the phone with? Oh, bro.

And it's your, it's your wife's pimp? Where my money You bitch Who's on the phone? No And you go Who's that? Oh, that's

Angelo Oh I guess you did have Getting cucked, huh? No, I think that's actually Even better though because like There's a The mystery

So much can get filled into that space of like there's something almost there's relief in getting cuck sometimes right uncertainties the fear is gone Dante's doing work uncertainty is the worst feeling and then you have to wonder is my mind leaping to worst case scenario when in reality it's not as bad as I think and then you become distrustful of your own fear yeah like it feels motivated by insecurity rather than reality and so I think your instance is almost more powerful because it's like the shark and jaws like We don't know what it is yet. Yeah.

Yep. The imagination is always the scariest element. You're like, dude, is Angelo giving my wife a billion orgasms? And then you realize, no, it's probably like five to six per session. Even when you call and you're hearing the, huh, huh, yeah, no, sorry, I'll call you later. I'm busy. He's like, yeah, you're going to call her lady. You're going to call her way later.

And you're still in your head, like, but what if she's somewhere where that happens? And so you don't want to just leap to, she's getting throttled, you know? Yeah. And then you call back hour later. He's like, yeah, round two. Yeah. Yeah, that pussy's still wet from me, girl. And she's like, babe, babe, babe, babe, babe, no, no, no.

Whatever you want to do for dinner. Whatever you want to do for dinner. He's like, yeah, but I'm going to feed her. I'm going to feed her steak first. I'm going to give her a problem kind of beef. And your brain is still. I mean, that's exactly. Like, but am I hearing what I'm hearing?

Am I putting pieces together in the run? Because you don't know. Yeah. Something doesn't smell right in here. That's like word for word The call I experienced The unknown is the hardest part It's the unknown

And you're thinking yourself What's going on here You know where is my wife And then he's like I'm in your bed I'm in your bed I'm on your side I'm on your side of the bed

But it's my side now It's my side In fact I'm having sex Did you wife I want some foe for dinner And then you pick up foe for three people And you're like

well my wife's hungry why she wants two meals get me food too I'm hungry I'm having sex with you what yeah so I literally I pick up I'm like what's going on here I'm like hey babe it's confusing I'm like hey babe do you want me to pick up for you and I heard

get off the phone and come get this dick yeah yeah and I was like what did you say babe you're like what you're like it's a client he's in here he's looking at different stuff turn the TV down I can barely hear you sweetie yeah exactly whoever's over tell him to just hold on one minute yeah she's like it's all in your head and he's like

it's not in your head he's not in your bed giving her that big big shlong yeah and you're like shlong is that a new type of meat right is it buddy what are you guys doing shlong stuff at work what is it like wagoo yeah yeah that's confusing it's confusing i did that's definitely the hardest and being confused like that scary and not knowing what's happening to someone you love and you're like yeah like should i race over there make sure she's okay Yeah, I should. Is she confused? Yeah.

Like, dehydrated kind of thing. Yeah. Like, does she need to drink water? Is it like, is she not feeling well? Maybe I should just pick up some Sudafed on the way home. Just in case. Yeah. Some Benadryl.

And he's like, yeah, Benadrylin. Yeah, Benadryl. You need Benadryl? Yeah. Yeah, I'm Benadryl in your wife. Yeah, like, do you need rope? It doesn't, they're rubbing a duna pussy. Yeah, I suit of fed of that dick.

All right, Chris, you're up. When you're jacking off and then catch your own reflection in the mirror. Oh, yeah. All right. It's very shocking. That's so scary. it's quick but it's scary it doesn't linger like some of the other ones this is how mine go oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh and then i hear from

the other room yo can you shut up i'm trying to dig down your way hey man come on knock it off zoom is really loud your boss is loud on the zoom let you spell out cuckin? That's funny. That makes me want to dominate Twitch. Maybe put cuckled. It might let you put the actual... I might have to do something to Twitch.

A dictionary term. All right. Doesn't respect. Strider, you're up. I'm going to say... Strider, you're up. Getting put under for a procedure. Oh, yeah, that is scary.

And also, I experienced my biggest... fear of complete silence after a pick yeah well no but the thing is they're tired before you go under they're like it's kind of fun hey hey sign this thing that says you might die that's what mean it's like the last thing that you deal with is like hey um we're about to put you under you might never wake up you ready to go yeah 100% and like when you're about to get filler in your cop too that's what I mean like you want it you your cock has to get filled so you have to do this you have no choice but to do this um getting put under before a cock-filling procedure yeah because you have to do it it's it's covered by insurance it's medical you're saving

your relationship and you're getting you're completely you have no control and in life why do people fear to fly you're not in control you're getting put the closest to death as possible a human can be without dying. Dude, how hard is it not to give the pharmacist a head nod when you asked for plan B? Unbelievable. Yeah. So hard. Recently my found say he was like, hey, can you go pick up some plan B? And I was like, fuck yeah. So I wore some sleeveless, so I wore a sleeveless shirt, put on some shades, went to the pharmacist. I was like, yo, plan B. Let me get two. And he's like,

the condom broke, huh? And I was like, with me, They always break, Ahmed. He's like, really? I'm like, no, not really. You fucking beast. Thanks. That's so fucking chill. Get on my level, dude.

I walk in and I just go, sup, the guy slides over four. For real? Thanks, dude. Doesn't even make me pay. That's sick. Bro, yeah. Dude, he, he handed me the plan B.

Dude, well, he handed me the plan B. When he handed me to plan B, I was like, yo, that's expensive. Can I get generic? And then the fiance was pissed. Mm-hmm. And I was like, sorry, babe, I'm saving up for Tahiti. Dude, the first time I ever met my wife's parents, I went out and visited them in Chicago.

I was worried about their approval, are they going to like me or not? And so on the way from the airport, I was like, hey, right quick. Yo. I was like. I don't even know what you're going to say. Sorry. Are you going to finish? Yeah, my bad.

Finish, dog? I told, like, we're all packed together in the car. My wife's got a big-ass family and shit. And I was like, hey, they're like, hey, you guys just land out of you hunger or anything. I was like, no, no, but right quick, pulled by this pharmacy? Wait, let's see me to land it clean, land it clean. My face looks insane right now.

Anyway, I told I told my wife's whole family to pull over at the pharmacy went in there and made them all come in with me I was like made them all walk in especially my future father-in

and I was like, yo, come up here. Come up here. And just looked at the pharmacist in the face. I was like, yo, I'm going to need at least like 11 plan Bs. fucking just got mad respect from the whole family dude yeah that's so safe

yeah that's from mom hey can you grab me a lemon lime Gatorade I'm gonna need that too yeah but I can pay right here at the pharmacy a lot of people don't know that yeah I look back at him I go hey whatever else you all got let's ring it up together it's on me and then I recapped the order out loud

so that's like 11 plan B's one fierce melon and a fucking twigs That's so safe Yeah her dad brought that up at our wedding too So super chill Good speech You stop at the pharmacy I remember the first time I met Strider

He took us to a little place called CBS You know a lot of dudes get bummed And you know they go to therapy and stuff like that And it helps them out And that's all good But like if you're really You feel like you got a rain cloud over your head and you need some, you know, a little confidence booster.

I think you're right, Chad. You've got to go to the pharmacy and just buy some plan B and let some people hear you do it. Dude, 100%. I'm sure. All right, for my last pick and the last pick of the draft, I'm going with not having enough money to survive. Oh, yeah, dude.

that's huge we live in a capitalist society where morality is secondary to your earning power and there are times through the sheer commodification of everything that you realize basic necessities are out of reach and you walk with that fear daily And people do a really good job of handling that fear. 100%. I am a trust fund kid, but I do think that's scary. Well, it's almost like it'd be scarier, right? Because I couldn't even, like, can you imagine.

Oh, yeah, because I'm so dumb. It could even be worse if it happened. But you will. And I'm afraid. That's a good one. I would have gone with, like, you're gaming with your boys and it says low batteries. You don't know if you have any. But that is a good one.

I was going to go with plane crash. None of you guys picked it, but I already had two-wave hold down. Like car crash I didn't even pick because of the two-wave hold down, you know? Plain crash is sick, though, because you get to make out with the person next to you. Yeah, that's true. I do think about that. I'm like, every plane I get on, I'm like, he's the cutest chick. He looks like she would need some emotional support during a massive.

crash. Dude, you want to see me during a plane crash when the plane's going down? This is me. Oh,

fuck yeah, dude. Bro, what if you put your mask on first? What if you go to? I was sitting next to a chick and it was just light turbulence and I was like, you know we're going down, right?

She's like, what? I was like, this plane's going to get crash. She was like, word? I was like, yeah, I'm a pilot. I was like, we should

fucking get biz before we die. Oh, dude, he said that. And then everybody else on the plane was like, we're not going to crash. And I was like, shut up. Like what is that

It's ridiculous They don't they don't respect your expertise Well I'm just coming in on the swoop like that Like just respect what I'm doing here That's what I'm saying dude Find your own chick You know what I mean Yeah I'm spitting game dude

Yeah bro don't you get it For your cock blocks all around dude Yeah her husband's like we're not actually gonna crash I'm like okay dude Oh I didn't know that you were a fucking doctor dude I didn't know he was it how he was Dude that's another pick Being around cock blocks

Yeah. Oh, scariest experience in the world, dude. Number one, dude. Because it's like, I'm flowing, we're flowing, and you just don't know when someone's going to come in and blow up your spot? Yeah, that's number one worst case scenario. Me in a room chock full of honey is surrounded by cock blocks. That's the worst.

Dude, that's a nightmare scenario. I got a couple of honorable mentions, too. Meeting Ray Lewis in the A-gap. Or in an alley. Or in an alley. Yeah. Yeah, all respect to Raylowe's for killing that guy. I still think you're the man.

Yeah, a bad salvia trip. I think he's the man. You guys ever smoked salvia? No. They're all bad. That's the thing about that drug. They're all bad, but it's terrible. Don't do it.

I don't know. Well, because it's like incense. Is it like when you're high for five minutes? Yeah, it's horrible. And you did it once. It was like, dude, it doesn't pop up on a test so we can do it. Yeah, and it's also like you'll have a really bad time. Dude, getting mail from the IRS.

Oh, that's a bad one, yeah. I think that's whack that the chat was picking on me for being a trust fund kid. Isn't that a little insensitive of them? You didn't choose that? Yeah. And they don't know how much you get blown. And they don't know what my daily life is.

That's like, that's some heavy, easy dismissal judgment. My fiance does the same thing. I'm like, and you know me. Do you know what I love about that, though? Is that they're not roasting me for it. And we're brothers. You're a better guy. So it's like, yeah, dude, bash him, dude.

This fucking guy, can you believe it, dude? No, now they're saying they're just teasing like we're buddies and stuff. Yeah, all right. That's funny. But now your buddy's sad, dude. It doesn't hurt more coming from my buddy, dude. Yeah, because you're in the chat and you hang out and watch us, dude. But he's still, yeah.

Dude, like, Skeletal Shlong is saying he was teasing, but I know B-hole Anilator was not. Yeah, B-Hole Anilator was dead serious. He was going in on you. He never teases, dude. Fucker. And I know B-Hole Anilator, dude. Fuckers, dude. B-Hole Anilator's grandpa invented the toaster.

Are you serious? Yeah. What the hell? Billion Dollar idea. Alfred Sloan? Who doesn't eat toast? Everybody eats toast. Exactly.

Yeah, I send me all their names, Jake. I don't know if you saw this, but Kristen Bell and Dax Shepard caught some heavy heat from the public. Because they had their anniversary, and Kristen Bell posted about how Dax jokes about killing her. And people thought that was really insensitive because the domestic could be. and this month specifically is Domestic Abuse Awareness Month. And then they found old clips of them like joking about hitting each other. And people were just piling on picking on them. But like I love Dax Shepherd and Kristen Bell.

Like they're still together. They're strong. And it's their relationship. And honestly, all the hate, like as someone who's in a relationship where we hit each other, I felt super judged. I'm sorry that you had to go through that. I'm not really messed up. just like people online can be so insensitive and they just don't think about how other people

might feel exactly like all these people are like oh uh domestic abuse is wrong i'm like sure except i'm in a consensual domestic abuse relationship and we chose this so maybe don't put your morality on me exactly it was so exclusionary yeah people never they only see their side of things totally and they never like be like they never started to think hey maybe there are some couples who you know it's consensual i reached out to dax i was like hey i hit my fiancee i got your back yeah and you send him a video too and i was like yeah here's a video of us slapping the shit each other after we came home drunk from an elton john concert um fun fact elton john concerts have the highest rate of domestic abuse really oh we don't have to

for this week? No, you're the judge. I'll be your voice. Jake, maybe you get on camera. Yeah, come on camera, Jake. People want to see you. People want to know what you look like. Guys, here's Jake. Jake Rar it. Hey, Strider, do your Jake impression. Yo, what up? All right. Yeah, I just don't know who's on the switchboard right now, so we'll just keep the angle like this, but I guess I'm here to judge. All right. Jake, do your strider impression. Baby, baby, come on. Let's just get some breakfast first, baby. Then we can go. Come on.

All right. You get some eggs, maybe some pancakes. Are you going to go save your suite? All right. Hold on. I was on. I don't have time for breakfast. All right.

All right. So let's just do a recap first. The first list, JT. Two-wave hold down. No toilet in public need to shit. Outdoor experience. non-consensual cucking by a guy named Dante not having enough money to survive

that's a good list that's a great list dude list number two sleep paralysis demon o'clock chicks finding out your penis is small darkest secret I'll kick your ass later getting put under

before cock filling procedure also a good list but I'd almost flip it yeah yeah there's value to be had a good response that's for sure it did it's not scary game put under unless it's your cock-filling procedure a thousand percent what am i will you see one dude uh third list running out of gas in the middle of nowhere hills have eyes scenario pet chimp gets violent and rips off face getting a text from a parent saying call me please jacking off and catching your reflection in the mirror for my first one just say AIDS

fourth list AIDS Go shit in the house alone via technology Super insensitive dude Preferred SDD scared The moment when you're about to eat shit

Extreme sports Like skiing snowboarding Hearing a dude In the background of a call With your girl Good All good list You can go back to STD scary

This shit's scary dude All right Nobody picked the dentist Oh dude This one's gonna be kind of hard for me to judge, but I was here for every explanation, so, you know, got a little, little backstory for each one. Hmm.

Cuck filling procedure. Dude, honorable mention, dude, the dentist, cucking your wife. Think about that. And he's like, I'm filling a cavity. Yeah, you have an appointment for drilling. Jake, you got this. You got a pit. Yeah, yeah, I got this.

Let's see. all right so let's start with four i hate to say this but i'm going to have to go striders list sleep paralysis chick finding out your penis is small that's not really scary that's happened a lot in my life i'll kick your ass later i've got my ass beat so many times that like i kind of i don't really care at this point you can kick my ass that's awesome and i've never had a cock filling for teacher so I'm not really sure where to stand on that one but I've got put under

it doesn't really seem that scary because you just kind of wake up how's the appointment go where you're like you get my cock filled yeah all I was so scared I didn't know if I was going to wake up my cock was going to be different

if it was going to still work and then I was going to be dead for a while so it's terrifying but I get it I get it you guys are good you're better on the mic than me um third point place.

Oh, shit. Man. I think I'm going to have to go list number one. Because I shit in public a lot, especially as a kid. I grew up in the woods, so I just shit a fuck ton. I mean, it's your situation is a little bit different where you're like in public. Yeah, a city setting. I've never been cut, unfortunately.

Still time. I think your best one, honestly, was not having enough money to survive. It is a little too real, but that is like the worst feeling ever when you're like, how am I going to pay rent, you know? Yeah, so that was a strong for. And society forces you to like just act normal and go on about your day and be happy. Exactly. Yeah.

Like, how are you supposed to have a good mood when you have no dollars, you know? So that's number three. number two oh man honestly I think I'm going to go two STD scare one running out of gas in the middle of nowhere

my reasoning being is because that is like the worst fear ever I've been on trips where you're like going up the mountains and you have like half a tank and you're like dude am I going to make it to the peak or like am I going to just slide back down with no gas you know you got to put that bitch in park uh

chimp that just seems fucking insane chimp ripping off your face that's pretty crazy I would be scared of that and then I have occasionally jacked off and caught myself in the mirror which you know that's not the best feeling um

and then for two chad STD scare I've never had an STD I don't believe anyways I haven't been because you don't take the test yeah I haven't been checking a while so yeah I guess wow you've never been checked I've never been checked um right yeah I think it looks normal I don't have any bumps or anything so yeah yeah yeah and like when the doctor used to grab my balls and make me cough he was like you know your piece looks normal yeah good yeah uh wait the doctor did what the doctor he grabs your balls and makes you cough Yeah, maybe it's just an Iowa thing.

I don't know. My doctor grabs my cock and makes me cock. Oh, shit. Damn. He must charge extra for that. All right, let's call Chudwin real quick. Great job, Jake. Great judging.

Great judging, dude. You're a genius. Good job, Jake. Thank you, great job, Jake. Good job on camera. Guys, that's Jake's on camera debut. Everybody give it up for Jake. Let's go.

I thought he was very likable. What did you guys think? It's super likable. Loved him. Yeah. I loved it. I think he did a very good job. Jake, don't cut that.

I also, I think he was right, and I think mine's the best. Yeah, he's the judge. We got to go with the judge. Yeah, sorry, gross, if you didn't get first. No, it's all good, dude. I'm used to getting last, dude. Oh, what's up, guys? What up, dude?

As our resident NFL analyst, we wanted to check in with you. You've been speaking very highly of Caleb Williams. How are you feeling after yesterday's debacle? not so good i will say that it was a game that should have been won by the bears Baltimore didn't have Lamar jackson when they announced that i thought it would be a win and yeah i'm a homer i believe in calab but yesterday did not look good for the future is he your starting quarterback next season yes the thing is the thing is Philip Williams, as bad as he's looked, he had a disastrous coach last year, a disastrous

offensive coordinator last year, and Ben Johnson's system is a complicated system. It takes time to learn. And he just needs more reps with the system. As I say that, though, I am concerned about the lack of accuracy. The deep balls he throws are bad throws. He doesn't see open receivers. he is bad in the red zone so there's a lot of stuff that needs to be fixed with Caleb but I do still believe in him long term and I do think he will be the Bears starter next year

I have a question do you want to see the backup Tyson Bejant gets him run this season just to see what he looks like well if Caleb continues to play the way he's played the last two games there might not be an option and he might have to do the backup then and we might have to see Bayesian play because the way he's played against the Saints and the Ravens it just can't continue where you're playing a Ravens defense that has been horrible this whole year and yesterday the bears the first he drives the Bears marched down the field Caleb was looking pretty good and then in the red zone you just have these bad penalties Caleb doesn't see open guys he's not accurate so it's a huge cause for concern right now you know what's crazy about

Caleb his numbers are always better than what I see when I watch the game yeah his numbers if you look yesterday he played pretty well if you just look at the numbers but the numbers don't tell the full story of what happened in terms of him missing open guys not making the right decisions and a couple of those throws were in garbage time he had a big throw to DJ more when the game was pretty much already over. So the numbers don't really tell the true story. All right. Well, it was good checking.

Sorry, go ahead. Is he another one of these USC NFL bust quarterbacks? I mean, Carson Palmer did well. He had that big injury. The, you know, the Bengals wouldn't get an offensive line to, you know, and then he got hurt and the same thing happened to Joe Burrow here. You know, take that Bengals. But now, you know, liner bust.

Caleb bust. Even Reggie Bush in the NFL. I mean, you know, it was okay. Sanchez, yeah, bust. Darnold is now having a bit of a resurgence here, but Matt Barclay, bust. Did J.T. Daniels even going on? Todd Merenovitch.

Yeah, Merenovitch, bust. Famous bust. So, yeah, Castle, he never really did. He had a decent season when he backed up, what's it called? You had a good year for the Patriots. Yeah, yeah. Or do you think, do you think Caleb will be a good quarterback for the Bears, or if he plays this bad?

Is it going to be a Darnold situation where it's a stop or two later where he starts figuring it out? Yeah, Darnold Jones. Even Baker. Yeah, Baker. Sometimes it takes these guys a little bit to develop. Where do you, do you, like, go ahead, Chuds? Well, like I said before, yeah, just like I said before, he had a bad situation last year. And even Jared Gough struggled the first year in Ben Johnson's offense.

And I think it's going to take time. I don't think it's a situation where Caleb will be bad in the Bears, then all of a sudden thrive on another team. I think if he's going to be successful, it will be with Ben Johnson. No, I don't think so. Really? So you think he'll go to another team and succeed?

I think he's gone from the Bears, if not this season, next season, depending on how bad these last eight or nine weeks go. If it's utter disaster and there starts to be some, you know, leaks about fights and acrimony, he's gone. Yeah, I don't know if that's going to happen, though, because it could. It could.

Good, and the next season, it's for sure going to be bad. And then he's got to go somewhere. And then he's a pro bowler for the Saints. Mark it down, $10 on it right now. Why are you putting this bad Chicago Bears energy? It is bad energy. I am putting it out. That is bad energy.

It is. I don't like this. We need to be positive. The Bears are still four and three. And I say this is I'm the most cynical guy in the world watching the Bears game. No, you're not. Every Sunday. It is miserable.

No, you guys believe in this team no matter what. You believe in Caleb, no matter what. you're the worst four and three team I've ever seen besides the Jaguars you've no business being four and three Caleb is missing guys left and right his feet are never with him when he throws he's kind of kind of bad

I think it'll be good though for the Saints probably oh my God why are you doing this to me I've had a good day I just went to the gym got a good list in now I just have to hear this just negative talk about Caleb which

partially is true I give you credit it is partially true It is partially true. It's reverse psychology. Is he the next Justin Fields? No, no, no, no, no. Even what I've seen with Caleb with his bad plays, Justin Fields was so much worse. He's got no picks.

Justin Fields is probably the worst starting quarterback in the NFL, despite what happened yesterday. He's really, really bad. If you think Caleb can't read the field, watch some tape on Justin Fields. He is clueless out there. All right. We love you, we love you, Chuds.

You're the man. We're going to call you every week. Check in on the Bears. Big bounce back game against Cincinnati. We should be able to win next week. I hope I'm right, and I think the Bears do come back and win this week. Is it in Cincinnati or in Chicago? It's in Cincinnati.

Joe Flacklow is always tough to be. But the judge beat him this week. The Bengals are looking pretty good on offense. You guys have the worst, you guys have the worst defense in the league, but you have a ton of takeaways, right? but you're allowing the most yards? I don't know about the yards. Yeah, the takeaways were huge.

Not yesterday. We didn't have any takeaways, but the previous two games. The problem with our defense real quick, though, is the secondary is decimated. We've lost our three best cornerbacks, Kyler Gordon, Jalen Johnson, Tyreek Stevenson.

So Jamar Chase could have a field day on Sunday. It could be bad news for the Bears. Yep. Thanksgiving coming early for the bangles they're going to eat. They don't have a good defense. I mean, you know, if everything goes right, he could put up 17. I hate you guys. Well, Chad, you're a soldier for doing this.

Joe refuses to do this. We appreciate you doing it, man. We love you. Thank you for calling in, man. I love you guys. I love you, I love you, too, man. I love you, too, man. Late, chats.

All right, good draft, fellas. Good draft, guys, fun stuff. These cars are burning eyes Can I want to know What you do and where's you go We're really for someone to You're doing for something else in love Where's been so you're going to be

Going deep Going deep I believe I'm going to be I'm going to be You're trying to You know,