Going Deep with Chad and JT - EP 426 - HEAT OF PASSION with KEVIN FARD

Episode Date: February 13, 2026

Today we are joined by Kevin AKA TOP DONG for another beautiful opening song. The Shmole starts the ep by blessing the airwaves with his ukulele. He also confronts Chad about the LOAD cannon - Is it chill to soak the audience or should there be a splash zone for future shows? The bros then go deep on "The Heat of Passion" defense. Is there legal consequences when you're so FIRED UP that you make a quick decision out of passion? Kev then gives us a few examples of when this defense works best. He also talks about the ALBUM he played while his wife was giving birth and why he thinks it will inject his newborn with STOKE. This is an EPIC SHMOLE ep. #chadandjt #goingdeepwithchadandjt  CHECK OUT OUR NEW YOUTUBE SERIES: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLkxsXCzRgw0YnogF0Q-t8o0devtOBPQTZ We are live streaming a fully unedited version of the pod on Twitch, if you want to chat with us while we're recording, follow here: https://www.twitch.tv/chadandjtgodeep Grab some dank merch here:https://appreeshapparel.com/ Come see us on Tour! Get your tix - http://www.chadandjt.com TEXT OR CALL the hotline with your issue or question: 323-418-2019(Start with where you're from and name for best possible advice) Check out the reddit for some dank convo: https://www.reddit.com/r/ChadGoesDeep/ Thanks to our Sponsors: HomeChef: The Best Meal Kits! Go to https://www.homechef.com/godeep and get 50% off your first box + free dessert. PRODUCTION & EDITS BY: Jake Rohret

And now Stokers, we give you the musical blessings of Daddy. You okay? Are you ready? Mm-hmm. Okay, just checking. This is an ukulele, by the way. I think they say it's called an ukulele. Just case you're wondering.

I've never seen you play a one. Do you like it? We'll see. Okay. about a guy named Joe people talk about his shaft everywhere they go when I go to sleep at night dream about another life where I'm the big dong guy I want for now is to see something long don't make me ask you twice come on just drop that dong you'll make your daddy proud be screaming

oh so loud I got a special son his hog is number one Joe show us your dog I heard it was long a big handsome dong oh brother my and I thought it'd be fun live through your shawl Oh brother Joe's big fat dung I wanna see what life like is with Joe's big fat dung Like with a big fucking hog I wanna see what life's like with a Joe's big fat dung

Joe's big fat dong Big fat dung Like with a big sloppy hog With a big fucking dong Joe's big big Fat dong Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-a. It can't be so wrong, oh, brother.

Yeah, thank you. Well done, man. That was incredible. Was that AI? No. That was... That was top-down. Daddy...

That was Top-D. That all came from top. Don, Don. Oh, that came, that was inside me and then it came out of me. It's fantastic. Jake. Bingo bongoamba. Jake, take my ukulele.

Oh, I'll bring it to it. Am I appropriating by saying ukulele? Do they even call it ukulele? In halee? How do you say it? How do you say it? How do you say Hawaii? Hawaii.

Hawaii. But I know a lot is misunderstood. A lot on my own end, bro. Did you all see Jason Momoa call out pineapple as colonizer fruit? I've heard that before. Did he really? I've heard that before. I don't call Hawaiian pizza, pineapple's colonizer fruit.

It's not native of Hawaii. Where is it native of? So we just brought it out there to farm it and just take the land? Dole is a colonizer? I think it's from Brazil or something like that. Look it up. Is it from Brazil? South America.

I knew it. Yeah, you're right. Brazil. Brazil. Argentina and Paraguay. Kev, when are we going to get the gentle chodes? in the studio and get them a full show at the Trubidor. I don't know.

Well, we're doing a jam in the van taping in April. That's where we do it in a van. Yeah, that's the idea. Those are great. I've watched a bunch of them. Yeah. You guys are in a proud tradition of a lot of great artists. Yeah.

And then we're actually going to have Joe sit in the driver's seat. That's going to be nice. That's their idea. Are you guys excited? Yeah. Are you nervous? I'm not nervous, but my voice has sort of popped out at a couple shows ago. You know, I'm not used to singing like five songs.

And I'm not like a singer. So I don't, you know, I do vocal warmups and stuff, but I've been doing that, but it's still just, it goes out. You should take it seriously. Thank you. Thank you for the advice there. Yeah, no worries, man. But I don't, it's even just like warming it up and training. I think some of it's like genetic.

I mean, we don't know if it's genetic because you haven't really trained. Yeah. Do you have, do you have a trainer? Okay. Do you know anybody? Is there anybody out there that can help me with my vokes? I can, you know what?

I don't know one, but I bet we could find one. Stokers, if you are willing to coach Kevin to get his voice ready for the biggest concert of his life, reach out via IG to any of us We'll put you in contact. You'll do some zooms. And you'll get this guy in tip-top condition. I'm talking Rocky Balboa and Rocky 3.

It's the eye of the motherfucking tiger. And you need to step the fuck up and get ready to deliver, brother. Do you start out first of the... Oh. And then you do the... So first you hum. And then you go. Yeah.

Yeah, actually at the last show, we almost, we had an opportunity from jamming the van to take our show, like our performance, the gentle chores performance to the next level, Chad nixed it. I did, yeah. What happened? Well, the offer was Jam in the van has a jizz machine

And essentially A foam machine A foam machine A foam cannon So the offer We were told, hey, we got a foam cannon So during our set It's like sudsy foam

So during our set Like when we hit It would have made a mess of the Would you call it a crescendo? Is that the right? Or at a certain moment We were just going to Just drop load on the crowd

And just just bust all over the crowd and Chad was concerned that the audience would not like that. Yeah, also it's a hard. Go ahead, Jed. I think it's, I think it, you want to end the show and the whole show busting a load. Yeah, you don't want to. Because we're opening for him. I see that, but.

Yeah, you don't want to give the whole crowd a facial and then be like, all right, here's the show. Yeah, now a one hour show. So I was thinking maybe we can get some plants next time and we can just target the load on them. But they demonstrated it at the sound check and it soaked all the chairs. He got cold feet, cold nuts. It seems reasonable. And I texted Kevin.

I said, Kevin, we're not doing the phone machine. No, he didn't even text. He's lying. I don't even think you didn't text. I did text. I can show you the text. Did you text us? I did text.

Oh yeah. And then I threatened to. You threatened to take me into the alley and beat me. I threatened to beat him up. Did you think he was going to say yes to the foam canon? Oh, I thought it was a given because the jam in the van was telling us. They were, when they told us, like, you're going to jizz on the crowd. Not to, not to start beef.

You're the best, bro. Not to start beef, but Jake at Jam in the van did run it by me. It wasn't in the form of a question, though. He's like, we're going to jizz on the crowd. Jake said it? Jake. Not this Jake, Jake at Jammington. He said, we're going to come all over the crowd.

And I said, how? And for a second, I thought, you know, legit. Yeah, we were having, without Chad, we were having a whole giz conversation. Yeah, I had no idea. Jake had this, like, compartment in his brain that was almost as wide and as huge as Kevin's for Dong. Oh, yeah, he loves Dong. He loves it. He wants the facial of the crowd.

Well, so, I guess. if I'm playing both sides and well hold on and his dad would he brought his dad to that show so you wanted to bust on his dad his dad was gonna get busted on his mom and dad I think yeah which is honorable what if you bring the cannon at the end of your spot I mean I think that's doable I think the shows would have to come on and like play a song and then bust I I guess I could bust on the crowd at at the end, but you're not sure you want to do it.

It could work. No, that's a good point. It could work. I could bust on the crowd. I wonder if we could calibrate it to just bust on one person. Oh, yeah. Yeah. It would be pretty hilarious. Or just on a segment. Or hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Splash

Zone. We'll have a bust zone. So it will be on your chair or it will say bus zone. And then you could give people, what are those things like in tar coat raincoat keb i think

i think i love i love where your head's at i think it's a great idea here's my thing this can all be a reality this the bus zone can be a thing it can be a thing specific to your show i know if you if you if you guys take this band into this dude

get it on spotify well and get some traction for the chodes so you guys can put on a fat live show and then have have a real bus zone. Me and Amira in the talks for an album. But I think it's worth mentioning, this isn't the first time you've stopped someone who's working with you and before you from fully unleashing.

Because when we first started touring together, I wanted to end my opening set by taking a dump on stage. Yeah, that's right. You seemed like you were cool with it. And then when we actually got to Spokane, you said, I don't know if I want to walk on the stage after you dump. Yeah. Are you like how are you gonna get rid of the feces and I was like I'm gonna leave it there it's funny

And I'm like you don't have to step in it and you just I guess you just said no and that was kind of the end of it Well and I was also concerned and I'm glad you brought this up because this was Probably our biggest argument We had two shows and I was like I don't know if you have enough dump in you I could have dumped at both shows That was not an issue I ate so much that day well so maybe I don't know if we have the drawing power and I'm not threatening you but maybe me and the Chodes do our own gig together uh-huh you bust I dump the crowd goes home

happy here's the thing here's the thing I love that idea I guess I guess what I'm wondering is like don't patronize me I guess what my question was how do you end it do you say all right guys that's my time thank you so much and then you take off you You pull down your pants and you start dropping a deuce? It's before I say thank you or anything like that. I just finished my last joke, you know. Do you announce it? I'm like, are you going on the stage or you have a makeshift toilet?

No, I just dump on the ground. Okay. I just pull my pants down. I stare at the audience. Hard eye contact. I try to focus on one person, but it feels like it's everyone. And I just squat and dump. And they don't even know what I'm doing for a couple minutes.

Now we're talking solid? or whatever I'm producing but my dumps are good long hard strong you think you might get stage fright you know you get stage fright when you pee so no I'm not gonna get stage fright taking a dump in front of the audience if you do just get stage fried a dump doesn't

this can be really weird because then people are thinking you're just the pervert no they're not gonna think they're gonna know I'm taking a dump and I'm a regular guy who takes dumps here's um I remember I remember when you took a dump at the Hollywood improv in the piano yep and you did that right after right before Craig Robinson was

gonna go on. Yeah. And he got to the piano and he's like, he's like, what the hell? I was like, go a little soft

on those keys, Craig. I melted my ass in there. Now, what if I, I have an idea to, if I could mediate this.

What if we compromise? You don't want them to dump on, on the stage. You want to dump on the stage. What if you just shit your pants? I think that's a nice middle ground.

And you could do that anytime during your, set. That sounds pretty sick actually. I guess one thing if you shit your pants, you come back to the green room. I can still dump in my pants for the second show. Okay.

Because then we'd switch. And then do you tell the audience? So you'd be sitting in that for a while. Do you tell the audience or do you let them smell something and let it percolate and let them figure it out? Did somebody take a dump here? Is it the guy next to me? Do I smell?

And it's really you. You're the one that took a dump. I think that's a really good artistic choice because I think the obvious thing is to just dump in front of them. But I think the more subtle and powerful choice is to make it something they have to perceive. Leave it into the eye of the, you know, trust their intelligence. So you want them to see your dump.

What kind of pants? Do you wear white pants? Yes. Caprice. Caprice. What if we get out the jizz machine and then we jizz on you while you're taking a dump? I like that too

I think it's a great idea And what is that called Well thanks for saying that Because I didn't know when I first brought it up to you You just poo-poot it You know it's called a blumpkin When you're getting sucked While you're taking a dump

What is it called when you're Somebody's dropping a load on you While you're taking a dump Or is that a thing yet Is that what we're gonna name? That's called a fecial You remember there was that website You used to go on

And it would have was it What was that website? It was like the dictionary Was it urban dictionary? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That was a good sight. Jake, can you look that up? Gerta Urban Dictionary, and what is it called when you're taking the dump

and then somebody drops a load on you? Hey, I really like that podcast you sent me about Iran, the Foreign Affairs podcast. Oh, did you? It was really good. I'm the hypocrisy of the Ayatola to be against hereditary leadership and then to be close to appointing his son as the next leader. Oh, you think they have standards? Yeah, maybe I should expect less from dictators.

Yeah, you should expect a little less. I was like, come on, brother. At least stick to your jam. He talked to God, and God told them, well, let me just point my son. Yeah. What's the latest? Who fucking knows, man. Is the power back?

I mean, they just massacred a bunch of protesters. They shut down the internet, massacred a bunch of people. bunch of protesters and you know who know you never know what's going to happen with these places very brave people in iran yeah insanely brave people at least the the people going out on the streets it's not like here they just they just took out they just shut off the internet and then just got a k's and we're just mowing down people apparently it's terrible well love to the people of iran great people hopefully it turns out are you are you are you opt to optimistic at all that it could, you know, there could still be a regime change.

What was that noise? I mean? Yeah, I am optimistic, but I just don't know when. And it seems like out of a lot of those, because people are like, oh, well, it'll be like other places in the Middle East that fall into, like, sectarian violence when the regime falls. But Iran actually has a strong tradition of everyone kind of getting on and being okay with each other. The gentle Chodes DNA is from Iran, so you could just expect with freedom comes more dong songs. Let's go.

All right, so it's called the, let's go back to the prurient matters. I think. No, that's a Cleveland steamer is one in somebody shits on your chest, right? Yeah. Yeah. And the quote says, oh, don't talk to her. That bird gives Cleveland steamers back. in the shit if I have a crown she does.

All I'm asking you to do is drop trow and take a Cleveland steamer on my chest. Who said that? The girl from not another teen movie. That's Tenacious D. I think that isn't. So, yeah, Jake, maybe look at something in that movie. Maybe look up. I don't think it's the thing.

Facial while taking a dump. Yeah, facial. What did you? While we're looking this up, what did you guys think about that? What's a Blumpkin back splash facial? What the fuck is that? When you're sitting on the toilet taking a dump while getting a blow job

and right before you bust a load, you drop a heat weight. I'm confused. I got to read this like three times. That's pretty sweet. That's not it, but that, I mean, if they have that, how come they don't have what we're talking about?

Oh, a back splash. So you take a huge dump, the water from the toilet and your jizz hits the girl in the fit. Interesting, yeah. Very interesting. Do people still like that this was a big thing when I was growing up? Yeah, I don't think.

I'm getting full on the poop stuff, guys. I'm sorry. You brought up the poop stuff. I know, I know. I feel like a terrible friend. Let's keep going. I just had to get my feelings out. Let's keep going.

I'm good now. That reset the hopper for me. Jake, pull it back up. Jake, maybe Google. and maybe you don't want to see what you get. How about chat GPT? Jiz on face while shitting. Or it's too, it's not, you got to use GROC.

Oh, GROC's good with stuff like this. You know what you could do? Oh, this is good. Jake, go to GROC. Do you have a GROC account? I don't think you need an account to search on GROC. GROC would come up with something. Because I think there's a solid chance that there's not a popular phrase for this already.

So I think GROC could. Well, should we come up with it and put it on Urban Dictionary? Yeah, let's see if we can beat Grock. I think it should be called a fecial. A fiesial. Fesial. Fesial. Oh, like.

A combination of feces and fesial. Let's put it. We're going to put that into Urban Dictionary. Fiesial, I like it. Wait, so what did you guys think about bad money? Um, I think he's a great performer. I thought the set was sick. The set was, I mean, you know, I love tropical vibe.

South Florida, Puerto Rico, that whole vibe. But music, I was like, it's not really my thing. I didn't know his songs either. Yeah, I didn't know his songs. I didn't know what he was saying, which, you know. It didn't hurt it.

Like, being in Spanish and me not knowing the songs, I felt a little bit like unsure how to react. Just disconnected from it. Yeah. Yeah. Why do you need to fucking have a reaction to it? It's just music. well it's a vibe I didn't know how to vibe off of it

was kind of like I just was a little insane I thought the fuck it wasn't the whole thing about the halftime show it used to be like it was only for like you were a pussy you were a pussy if you even like the half time show now everybody's arguing about it I don't not in my life like I remember in high school when like Paul McCartney did we were all like talking about it like Prince it was you too when the was a Patriots

it was always kind of a big thing for me all I have heard people say that all I know is I saw a bunch of asses I do that the production is I was made and when I rewatched it I liked it more. How can you complain about that? All the booty, no, all the hot chicks dancing was cool. And then I thought when I saw a guy translated all the songs into English. And like when I saw that, it made me like it more too.

Right. People are saying this. There's hundreds of songs you vibe to that you don't understand. Yeah, but I already knew those songs. Like people are like, oh, well, you don't understand what like Pearl Jam is saying. I'm like, I know, but I've heard it a million times. So I'm familiar with it. Like same with Macarena.

Like I had a built-in relationship to it. It was my first time hearing, because I'm just old and a loser, if it helps that I pick on myself, hearing these bad bunny songs, so I was just kind of like, what? Yeah, it was fine. But I didn't think it was bad. I was just like, I just didn't, it didn't jack me up in the moment.

But so you get jacked up by the Super Bowl halftime show usually? I think most Super Bowl halftime shows are kind of bad, honestly. Like, I thought Kendrick was kind of bad. I thought Rihanna was a little flat. I didn't love Gaga. I didn't love Maroon 5. I didn't love timber. Like, I think sometimes the,

the venue's so big that the performance can feel a little small. You know, Dr. Dre was unbelievable. But I knew those songs like the back of my freaking hair. The nostalgia was deep on that. Even the Dr. Dre think it was cool, but it wasn't

like, I wasn't fucking I mean, I wasn't juzing in my pants. Oh, fuck. You get fired up when Eminem did lose yourself? I mean, it's fine. Again, it's just like we're watching on TV, people performing in this giant stadium. It's not like I'm there.

like in it. Like if you get so jacked up on this shit, I'm just going to put, you're a pussy. Okay. I think everyone had too strong of a thing on it too. Like, you know, creating your own halftime show in response to it was too dramatic. And then I also, and then I also. Yeah. I was like, come on, you don't need to do it.

And the look guy's like, I cook my grass and I have a beer. I guess one of those artists are mad at turning points. Oh, really? That's what Candace was saying, that they were like, they didn't frame it to him that they were going to be going head to head with the halftime show. They shot it like beforehand. I mean, kid rocked.

Look, isn't the guy on number one on spot? So he's the most popular artist in the world. Okay, then who gives a fuck? What, stop saying who gives a fuck? Yeah, we're talking about it. Yeah. This is my opinion. Why can't I have an opinion?

Because you like music, you care about music. Yeah, it was fine. So you're telling us not to care about the halftime show? I'm saying, I'm saying, oh, I couldn't understand it. But then there was people who right away were like, like, um, this was the greatest performance in history and like, oh, this is, and I'm like, you went in and you were already there. Like, I don't know if, I guess I was a little bit dubious to that. I can say, watch it. It was compared to even other ones. It wasn't,

definitely wasn't bad. The set design was crazy and he's got great charisma. Yeah. Sorry, I'm talking too much. No, it's, it's, uh, there's no reason anybody should have any issue with his halftime show. I don't have an issue with it. Or any other halftime show. And to be I'm going to give it a plus because of all the dancing and the, and the, and the, and the, and the, and the, and the, and the, and the, and the, and the, and the, and the, and the, and the, I liked it more than, I didn't like Kendrick's either. I liked it more than Kendrick's music. I just didn't, it was better. It was more. It was more. Yes. 100%. And you couldn't, people can understand, like, are they understanding fucking his lyrics? I got, I got to take, I think the halftime show should go back to before it was like a music video shoot. I feel like they should play to the crowd more, you know, like, the people in the stands fired up. Like, everyone at home. I don't. I think, everyone at home. I was. I you don't even know the reaction. It just looks blank. Everybody in the stands is like not vibe in. They're not even standing up.

Like all the close ups and stuff. Yeah. It's like bro. Like one of the latest was like Rihanna. She did like a, like a freak I forget her song at the end. It's like diamonds or something. I don't remember. But everybody in the stands pulled out their flashlights and it was legit.

And like people were there enjoying it. Whereas like every other, the past couple of years, it's literally been a guy looking at a camera not talking to the crowd at all. Yeah, you see some of the POV of Bat Bunnies where it's like you can barely see him during the performance because he's like inside the buildings and stuff where he's like hidden behind the bushes. Yeah. I totally agree. But the people complaining about like, do you need to be in English and blah blah blah. Those are the most.

Those people are just, I just don't believe they're, I think they're just hyping up into what they're hearing. but I don't think they really care. Like, are they really upset? It's like an affront to America. No, because I didn't hear anyone complain when it was like Shakira and J-Lo. I mean, I was, we've been told over the last fucking 30 years that government shouldn't interfere with business

and all this shit. Isn't that a fucking private business? They're going to do what they want. But do me this then. When the World Cup kicks off in Mexico City. When's that happening? In like a year or two? Is it L.A.?

I think it kicks off in Mexico Because it's all North America. It would be weird If they had Morgan Wallen kick it off in Mexico City It's a good point Do they have like a musical kickoff? Yeah They always do for the World Cup

I thought that'd be funny It would be funny Why would it be funny? Huh? Why would it be funny? I don't know because you said it would be weird Why do you think Why do you think I said it would be weird?

So let me ask you this I just have a question If Morgan Wallin like Has a concert No you didn't win anything. I'm asking you if Morgan Wallen goes on tour and he has a show in Mexico City, is that going to sell out?

I don't know. Because if he could very well be popular down there and then it's probably wouldn't be that controversial. Next year for the Super Bowl, have him put Morgan Wallin or fucking jelly roll or post Malone or somebody and then everybody can shut the fuck up for 10 years. I mean, Jay-Z's picking, so I don't think he's going to

do that. Maybe he will. Maybe who knows? Jay Z picks him? I think so, yeah. Oh, really? I don't see why. Jay Z's decision? I think he's partnered, the NFL's partner with Rock Nation

for that entertainment stuff. So I do think he's... Why couldn't, like, people say that. I don't know if it's true. Next year it could be those to do a combo of the mullet and face tattoos

and then we're done. I think next year should be Duelipa. That would be great. Chris Brown. Chris Brown is the next one, I'm telling you. Chris Brown?

I don't think it's, I don't think it's going to be. I'm telling you. I'm telling you. I'm really. I'm going to do. I'm willing to put money on that. I'm willing to put money on it.

How old were you when the whole Chris Brown Rihanna thing happened? Well, okay, yeah, I guess besides the like, you know, domestic violence. Yeah. Besides the domestic violence? Yeah, he was probably like nine when that happened. His catalog, though. His catalog, like he has like 20 years of fucking bangers that were hits. He could play so many different songs.

Hey, Jake, I'm willing to put down $1,000 right now. Come shake my hand. It's not going to be Chris Brown. It's an opportunity for you to make money. What about, ever. Maybe not next year, but ever. I think he deserves. Don't cut all this from the pot after, dude.

Chris Brown deserves one. Are you crazy? Oh, the Bieber do it. Bieber would be amazing. Oh, Bieber would be sick. Oh, yeah, Bieber. Why do you care? Why do you care who does it next year?

I don't care. You just wanted to make... Bieber did it. I said that would be cool. But you don't care. Kevin, if Dula Lipa did it, would you get a boner? If Duleepa did it? Yeah, she could get me...

She could get me boned up. No, you don't react to the hell. halftime show, you wouldn't get a boner. No, I don't, no, I don't react. I don't say it's bad or good. Bona sounds good. But would you get a boner? Possibly.

We've been, we've turned into what, I'm sure we all came into this pod thinking, hey, we're not going to be like a normal reactionary media bit. Aren't we like a week late on this or was a Super Bowl like, we spent 30 minutes on them? We're usually talking about cock and we started off good with dumps. And then you had to go into this. To go back, I think Jake, correct me if I'm wrong, but the jizz on the face while dumping is called a royal frosting. Yeah. I like that.

Is that what it's real? Is that what it said? A royal frosty. Good job by Grock. What makes it royal, but I like it. I'm interrupting this podcast, let you know once again that we were brought to you by Home Chef, the best home prep meal company in the biz. I love Home Chef. I mean, it's a new year.

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I had this experience today, this evening. I went to a yoga strength class. Sick. Did some lifting. You actually do heavy lifting in yoga Like heavy? Heavy? You get heavy weights I was doing like 30 pound

Like just bench press in there Dumbbell press That's crazy for yoga Yeah it was awesome But anyways I was driving home I was driving home I'm taking a left Oh you'd be a good extra on this

I'm taking a left And so I take a left I'm at a crosswalk residential I'm going 10 miles an hour maybe taking a left. Before I take the left, a cyclist, it looks like he's about to cross the street, but then he starts going down the bike path,

parallel to the cars. So I'm turning left into the street, and I look, and he just, like, decided to cross 15 feet down the street. He, like, swerves in front of the car, and then comes back until I break, and then he crosses the street. I almost hit him.

Why did he do that? I don't know. And I'm like, why wouldn't you go to the crosswalk when it's like 10 feet that way? I guess my question to you, Kev, is if I had hit him, I was going about 10 miles per hour. You would have deserved it. That's what I was looking for. That's the law. That's the law.

He would have deserved it. He would have got what's coming to him. Would I be at fault? You would be at fault for doing... God's work. Yeah, I don't actually, I was talking about this the other day, and I don't want to encourage anyone, but vehicular manslaughter. Do it.

You get away with it most of the time. Absolutely. Like, if you, if you just, like, want to kill someone, the best way to do it would be with your car. With your car, yeah. Why? Because they'll let you off most of the time. Like, if you, you could say, like, oh, I was looking down, I just wasn't paying attention,

I hit them with my car. They won't put you in jail for that. Really? I just called John. Called J.T. Parr for. you get hit by a car called J.T. Parr, astute legal analysis. Is that incorrect?

I mean, it may be a little overgeneralized, but. But there's a kernel of truth there that it is kind of, you don't face the... Are you saying if you want to murder somebody, and you want to make it look like an accident, you're going to get... Well, I don't understand. Give me a hypothetical scenario.

Okay. Because if you intentionally run over somebody with your car, it's not a vehicular manslaughter. They find out you have a motive. But I'm saying like, let's say you got upset at that biker guy. And he just decided and they, like you just... I just fed up random over. Whenever he came in front of you, you just hit him with your car.

Yeah. You probably would have most likely gotten away with that. I mean, they would have to prove, well... If they can't prove you had motive and that it wasn't premeditated, you're probably not going to jail. Premeditation is only for, it applies to first degree murder. So I don't think first degree murder would apply there. Secondary murder could apply.

So if you're, so in this case, it would be hard to prove intent though. So if there's no video or anything, they could, I mean, it would be hard to prove that it wasn't like an accident. Unless there was some other evidence. The prosecutor would have a tough time being like he got cut off and that's why he decided to run this person over. Okay, but I guess if he hit him like accidentally. But you're saying it's a random person. So you've never said, so just in the heat of the moment

and then you run them over? Yes. Yeah, you are correct. I mean, the intent part. You know, if you're, no, I'm dead seriously. It just made me so happy that I said that was correct. If you're driving. And I left it out of it.

And assuming you're driving on the road and you didn't like hop on to the. But yeah, I mean, I guess even if you hopped onto the sidewalk, it could be like negligence. It's really hard to prove intent with vehicular manslaughter. So, okay. So, well, no, I mean, that, what you just said, vehicular manslaughter is a result of not having intent.

Right. Being able to. Sorry, but I miss spoke slightly. But if you're under the influence or you're driving recklessly, then you're more at risk. There's voluntary manslaughter and there's involuntary manslaughter. and there's involuntary manslaughter. And involuntary manslaughter is when you do like a, basically a negligent act that ends up killing somebody,

like a DUI or something like that. So people go to jail for that, though. And then the... Yeah, but it's not as bad and as often as you would take, based off the crime. I think what you guys are thinking of... You got a shot at getting up, but... I think what you guys are thinking of...

It's a weird loophole in the system. I was talking to someone about this the other day because I thought it was weird. Well, I guess, I guess here's my question. Let's say I accidentally hit this. I really don't think people should do this. No, no, no.

Get off the cars. I think what you guys want to hear about. But I know. I want to answer the question. He's got one more thing. If I had accidentally hit the cyclist who swerved into the road, what would the...

If he swerved in the road, you accident, that's nothing. That's his fault. Isn't that crazy? That's not crazy. Accidentally. Yeah. You hear, yeah, better recognize cyclists.

But you're saying if he, accidentally went into the road and then you're all bitch and then you fucking accelerated and hit him yeah yeah i mean i i don't know how they're going to prove i don't know how they're going to prove any criminal even act on you unless again there's some kind of video or some kind of other evidence um i guess they could prove if they could prove like through skid marks or something that you accelerate i don't i don't know a 1968 chevy command has a trans-arm depository acceleration of 34 r pms per square inch. That's a very good movie, my cousin Vinnie, and it's very leagued.

Two youths. Two youths. Two youths. Oh, sorry. Are you with us? If you guys haven't seen my cousin Vinny. It's one of the greatest movie. Probably the best legal movie there is.

Really? Oh, yeah. I love that movie, man. Marissa Tomei is a... everything in that movie. A stroke show. What if Mercer Tomey did the halftime show? Huh?

What if Marissa Tomey did it? And what we just want? We just stared at her. She just danced in the thong. No, they don't get. I mean, if you don't like that, you're a pussy. I agree. I think it's okay to be a pussy for a second.

Oh, I'm sorry. Have I got another question? Let's see you get into an accident. Should you tell the cops, I want to talk to my lawyer? if you get into an accent would you tell the cops you want to talk to a lawyer like what kind of accident

I mean if it was just like you got an accident you see you're in between two heads right now you're in between your lawyer head and your yes and head and you got to merge them together and say no

oh thank you thank you for the reminder ask that question again buddy no ask it again ask it again Yes, and ask it, ask it. So if you get into an accident and the cops want to talk about what happened,

do you say, I want to talk to my lawyer? Yeah, you want to say you want to talk, you say yes, I want to talk to my lawyer, and can I suck you off? No, I see what I did that? That was, yeah. Sorry, guys, I'm a little tired. Me too, man. Oh, Kevin.

Let me talk about this, though. Yes, go, please. Because when we're talking about manslaughter and getting off, I think what you guys, get off the bike accidents, the real stuff you want to talk about is something called the heat of passion. Oh. The heat of passion is a defense or mitigation to murder. Did you know that?

I've heard about it. What's your understanding of it? Let's say you find out, your wife's cheating on you with the bus driver. Yeah. So you go and you shoot the bus driver in the face. But what's the require? So I'm going to give you two scenarios.

And I want you to tell me if it's heat of passion or not. Okay? Yep. So you find out your wife's fucking the bus driver. You get pissed off. You go to the gun store by a gun. Not heat of passion. And why not?

Because you went to the gun store. You're not at the same setting where the thing that inside of the passion happened. What if you come home? Meditated. Yeah. What if you come home, you see a large school bus parked in front of your house. You find it unusual. Guys, don't get me this upset right now.

Because you don't have kids and you're wondering why a school bus is parked in your driveway. You know this actually happened to me. You take a gander inside and your wife is getting deep dicked. Don't talk about it. No. By the bus driver. Oh, my God. He was so thick.

And she's moaning. Huh, shut up, She's going, take me to school. No! Take me to school! No, she'd already graduated! You're a licensed permit to carry.

You pull out your Glock and you shoot him in the dick. He bleeds out and dies from blood loss from his dick. Is that heat of passion? Yes. So what is the heat of passion?

It has to be something that happens immediately. It's bang back. instant it passed to be in the moment in the heat of passion you're overcome in the yeah you're blinded by a there's no like I was at the guns store I'm just I'm a I'm a very passionate guy there's no time to think and then let's say they charge you with a murder then you can your defense will be no this is the voluntary manslaughter this is so instead of so how many years are you going to do for that like five depends on how big his dick was

and how hard she was moaning. Could that actually be a factor? Like if you were like, oh, dude, my wife was, she said she was multibling. Like if, whoa. Could that actually. Oh, if she was like in an orgy? Like, yeah, you're like, there was two guys pounding her

and she was having multiple orgasms with the judge be like, oh, it's pretty gnarly. Actually, I'm going to lessen a sentence. You'd have to bring it up to the judge. But that context could impact the sentencing. Yeah, it's up to the judge. Amazing. I love the court system.

Depends how much of a creep the judge. the judges. Oh my God. How did you like? He's getting hard under his thing. Did you like how I turned it around on the heat of passion? Got in my yes anding. Yes, dude.

Boom. You fucking stowed, dude. Got out of my head. You stud, bro. What if you saw your lady boning the bus driver and you had a katana in your house? And as soon as you see it, you freak out and you, you know, he's inside, but then you katana his dick off. Well, and he's, and he survived.

community service community service and he survives I don't know what happens if you chop your wiener off I mean that would be an assault on a desk of that with this metallic thing Kev what would happen if it was at his house and she was over there

but the other guy came to confront them yeah like you go in like you know she's there is that still premeditated that would be a little hard because what's your reason for going there like if she invited you there to like drop off

if you go. If you're going there, then you've already know she's fucking the guy and then that one, I don't, I would think you would have a hard time with the heat of passion.

Because why are you going there if you don't think she's fucking? I mean, the best thing I can say about me is I'm always at risk of getting sentenced for heat of passion. No,

because that's just a way I live my life. You have to catch the fucking in your bed. JT. Heat a Passion part. Yeah. Like, it's, I'm always in that mindset. Reactive, intense,

cucked. But I just want to say, none of this stuff we've said is legal advice. Yeah, and also not good life advice. Dave is someone you trust and don't run over everybody. This is pure UCB 101 yes andy. I don't want any of you idiots to go fucking chop off a dick or try any manslaughtering.

That would be a great Tarantino scene. Having it come back at me, huh? Dude, that should be a Tarantino scene where, let's say Big Buck is given a plow down. and then Lucy Lou comes in, and then it just chops the wiener off. Yeah. I think that'd be pretty sick. Yeah.

Lucy Lou and Lucky Number Slevin? Very underrated performance. I'm feeling good about what we did there. We got off the bad bunny stuff. You know, I'm glad we covered it too. It was unlikable, but it was important to be honest with ourselves. But you know it's something that we, I can't believe it took this long to bring up. I didn't even realize it, brother, until you mentioned you're tired.

you got good reason to be tired because I jack off so much fucking high five man do you want to tell the audience why no you tell him Kevin had another son yeah thank you so fucking exciting man

yeah and his name is Henry Fard Henry Farrd hey clip Kevin's reaction to that it was hey we're in the heat of the moment. Yeah, is it just tough right now? Are you guys not sleeping? Well, I actually have got a few good nights to sleep the past few nights actually, but I'm still just tired. Is it tough going?

Like, because I had the two at once. So is it hard going back into that like cycle? Like, is it traumatizing? Well, because you got, you got here. He's a toddler now. So he's sleeping in his bed. He's pissing in a pot. The toddler is, is like, is like, is like, literally. living with a demon. The baby is so easy compared to a toddler. You can't, you can't even compare. Oh,

really? You can't even, taking care of a baby is, it's more, it's more just like robotic. Like he shits. Yeah. You change his diaper.

He cries. Everything's on a schedule. The toddler is exhausting. I am, I am completely exhausted. I am in a state of postpartum depression. Nobody talks about the guys. They always talk about,

the women but I I need somebody to hold me right now and tell me everything's going to be okay you're a great dad will hold me like a baby did your baby uh did your baby like moan when he was breastfeeding like uh it's it's actually just like it's a weird thing to listen the breastfeeding it's like you just listen just here listen in it's just like listeners at home it's just like a It's a lot of this. It's weird. Kevin, he's a chip off the old block,

brother. The whole birth and watching the birth and... Kevin, here's weird, man. You can have two young men that you're going to be able to talk dong with. Yeah. Oh,

this can be a lot of... I've warned the lady. She doesn't even know. She doesn't want to hear it. Do you know how much jacking off is going to be going on in this house? We're all going to be probably jacking off in different rooms at the same time.

And who knows? God willing. By the time they're in like jack, full jackoff mode in what, like 15 years, who knows what jacking off is going to be like, we're probably all going to be in like headsets. Gangs,

you know, oh, virtual sucks. Maybe I'll have a fucking jack robot. It's going to be a disgusting, who knows, I've explained to her. They're not just going to start off jacking off

and politely do it into a napkin and throw it in the toilet. They're going to, they're going to find their own place to put the jiz. And it's going to be fine. the jiz they're going to get cranky it's going to be a jack fest

Kevin I could see coming over to your place it'd be like kind of like or like you guys are all driving in a car to like get a Christmas tree and it's like who are we the fards

as a car yeah it's like a Doyle rules well my first one already sings Dong songs in a tea bag so yeah he even threatened to boot a mirror from the band

and replace him with here I mean he's he's uh although he was singing today he was singing you know I did the cover of the chapel Rhone song but he was singing another one

and I've never played that for him I think they're playing it for him school one of the lesbian ones what was he saying one of them LGBTQ ones sure sure people would get this is LA baby what's the one where she's talking about not the one where she's getting eaten out but the other one

the one in the subway I don't know that sounds great she she's got a way She's got a That one. He's singing that song. Well, interesting. He has a good eye for,

he likes good music. He's got good pitch. She's good music. And, yeah, oh, yeah, he can, you know what his favorite song is? I played it for him once, the Jurassic Park theme. Oh, it's a killer song.

Do do do do do do do do. Dung, do do do. My daughter for the first time yesterday requested Moana. Whoa. Yeah, she got in the car. She said, Dad, Moana.

And I was like, let's go. That's sick. And we were blasting it. And then watching her perform it, like she does her hands. And she's like, how far I'll go? And she has a good natural, like, presenter. Oh, wow. But then today, dude, I took it.

After school, I took her. And I'll call him M&L. I took him to the park. We were chilling. Then my daughter's like, I got to pee, potty, potty, potty. I was like, don't do it now. Don't do it now. But the library stuff.

So we went in the library. take him into the men's bathroom, which is always like not ideal. Yeah. My daughter's like after she's done, she's like climbing under the thing. While my son was on toilet, she's printed out of the bathroom. Really? Yeah, so you're just like, what do I do? So I'm like, I gotta go after her because at least I know he's in here.

So I run after her. She runs into the girls bathroom. I'm like, whoa. Yeah. I'm like, em, come on out. Come on out. And you're just like, yeah, you're just wrangling cattle. It's tough sometimes.

It all works out most of the time, but there's moments like that where you're You're just like that's scary. Yeah, and you're in public, so you're like, I don't want to yell, but I kind of have to. Yeah. Not like at them, but like just loud enough so they'll do something. I'd rather have that than her walk into a stall at some guy. He's just like, it was when she was climbing and I was thinking about dirty the floors where we get into your hot topics. Yeah.

What are we supposed to talk about? Are we going to do two hours on turds? I'll do two hours on turds. I had another cool story about the birth. Go. Oh, yeah. No, please. Maybe this helps with them.

We're going to test to see how musical this next one is because the first one's very musical. First one, I wanted to have Dark Side of the Moon playing while she was giving birth, but she nixed it. But we still got Crosby still as a Nash and young playing during the first one's birth. Beautiful. This one, she caved, let me play Dark Side of the Moon. Fucking, she was giving birth. Oh, actually, we played two. once she started two full albums of Crosby,

Sils, and Nash, then write one in showtime. Fucking showtime when the doctor was putting her hands together, doing that shit, fucking dark side of the moon, starts playing. Like that kind of shit. It was getting fucking intent.

I wanted him to be birthed to breathe. You know that song? Breathe in the air. That's a good song. Don't be, because he's taking us for. breath yeah but um he came out to uh money oh that's kind of bad ass the whole so the whole but then it was weird it was like it was it was it was perfect right one the so the whole she gave

birth the whole album played and then right when the album stopped playing that's when the doctor also left like so they got the baby out they did all the things and the album completed and then the doctor, it was like, the doctor's like, I'm done. Now in reality, dark side of the moon was playing, these, these doctors and nurses obviously haven't, uh, haven't vibed because they did not make any comments about dark side of the moon playing. So that's, I didn't even know you were allowed to like play music. Yeah.

I have my little speaker. Medical stuff's happening. I mean, it's just, it, it increases the vibes. But if I was like, so could I, even though I wouldn't hear it, if I was going into like, get like my labor impaired and my shoulder. in my shoulder. And I'd be like, hey, I want Slipknot to be playing while you guys

operate on me. You could, yeah, you could ask them. I mean, but I think for giving birth. Did your dad listen to music when he? My dad is very serious, is not do that. But he knew other doctors. He looked down on it. Right.

But other doctors would like blast rock and they'd be like, let's get in there. You know, that's probably a fair question to ask your doctor. That's a good thing for Stokers. Like, hey, if you're going in for surgery, like, do you play music while you're performing surgery and what music do you play?

But the music is not for the doctor in this case because she's awake. And then I'm like, you play bad buddy? Get out of me here. I don't want you playing bad buddy when you fix my shoulder. Can you imagine? Give me the Luke Brian guy. Can you imagine if you're being born and as you're being born to hear, Dirty pop,

Don't you want this dirty pop? Dirt pop. Oh, what if I was playing, though? Why you want to try and classify the type of things we do? Do you think it would kill the vibe if I played that country, you know the guy we were talking about earlier or Kid Rock. The guy, that song was crazy

was like, I just want to fish. I do think, man, I do think if you're born to like angry music, that could, that would be like,

my name is key. And then the kid's coming out. Yeah. That song is good. It's good. Yeah, but it's kids, baby. Tough to say you care about lyrics

when that's the song, but ba, ba, da, bag, diggy diggy diggy diggy, said a boobob is a boobobo.

He had the first album when he had that little Crazy, bro. And then he just cowboy. Yeah, and then after that, though, it's just like, I don't. The next album was good to you. All summer long is good. That one was a hit.

That was a late game, like late in the second act. We didn't even think he had that in his arsenal anymore. I don't need to hear his covers of Leonard Skinner. And it's fine. Oh, you know it was a good song, too. Is that Cheryl one, photograph? Or picture. I put your picture away.

I don't know. That kidleroy's song. That stuck with me. Oh, yeah. we listened to that the other day. What is it? Can't turn a... So there you go.

Can't make a wife out of a hoe. Yo. I can't sing. Yeah, I've lost the rhythm on that one. All right. What did you want to... That's got to be very interesting. What is the thing you want to tell?

You want to talk about another hot topic. I want you to do a cover of Yukon as a dog song. What's Yukon? Justin Bieber. It's a great song. Is that that one he did at the Grammys? You cut a piece out. Joe's don't.

I haven't, besides the Grammys, I haven't heard that, is it popular on the radio right now? Or is it a new one? It came out over the summer, but. All right. I like the live version, way better. A lot of people think it sounds like. Why do you do that? I don't know.

Sometimes they just pitch it up. Like, A Hungry Heart by Bruce. Lay Lady Lay by Bobby Dee. Bobby Dee. When I do snow drive at you come. I like whenever you come I root for them I root for Beber

I root for all day Yeah Oh you gotta root for the Bebes And I root for his relish Yeah You gotta root for the The hails I mean he'll

He'll get a little Emotional out loud Out public And I get it It's just part of his process But You know There's just something about the kid

I'm like I want to see him do good Yeah You know It's because he It made it as a young Katie made it through Hollywood. He has legit talent. His voice is undeniable.

And it seems like whatever demonic forces are trying to beat him down, he's rising up. And he's like, no, you can't get me. And a lot of demonic forces talk. And I'm not a demonic forces. You know what I'm, I'm anti-conspiracy. I didn't think there was aliens. I didn't think Epstein comes. I would almost say I'm too, like, skeptical.

And now it's like it's on the table that elites are eating humans. Yeah. And I don't believe it, you know, I don't think Erica Kirk killed Charlie, but it's on the table. And sometimes I'm like, maybe I'm too, you know, skeptical. I don't want to go a whole hog with it, but you start thinking maybe I'm a dumb dumb. Am I not open it? I don't mean to be too intelligent here, but am I... I don't know.

Okay. I'm joking because I said dumb dumb. Here's my take. I mean, I don't know. I think there's like, we're just so online these days. Yes. And I think, I think, like, when we went to where JFK got shot. That changed the game for you.

It changed the game because you're like, everything online, you can just, it can all seem so, you know. Their version of events become what you put. picture. Yeah, it's also surreal and you're like, whoa, crazy shit is happening. But then when he got into the real world, it almost always, you're like, oh, people are just clumsy and dumb. And it's just not as exciting. It's not as fun to just be like, no, Lee Harvey was just kind of a crazy kook. The FBI might have tried to recruit him for a little bit. And then when he killed Kennedy, they were embarrassed. So they covered up that part because they didn't want to have any connection. But it doesn't mean they concocted the whole deal. And that happens to the FBI and CIA all the time.

Like they were touching base with Castro Before he went against them They're almost like Alabama The CIA and FBI Where they like recruit too many players And then guys transfer to the other school And end up beating their ass Yeah

And you're like wait That guy used to be a Bama Like they just put 30 on you With Ohio State It's like yeah you know We cast a Y Nets Some guys don't fit the system Do I hear you brother

And um What was I gonna say Um Epstein Elites elites oh yeah i mean dude i'm but you know we could be being a little bit defensive because there was that one time when epstein invited us to go surfing on yeah we did we did as a wave pool um i didn't see anything weird it was great wave pool too yeah so we're in the files yeah i'm in there and he's just

like hey bro you want to come surf and i was like for sure why are you just saying it now why don't you i'm getting ahead of it we're what you know there's three million pages were probably the three million. Did you email him about to set up the surfing? He emailed us. He's like,

hey, bro, you want to go? You want to, I have like a sick break on my island. I was like, are you paying for it? He's like 100%. And we just surfed and then we camped out

on the beach. You camped out? Yeah, I mean, they brought us food and stuff, but I mean, I went inside to like shower. And, yeah.

Oh, you went to the pantry. He went to the pantry. He used the bowling alley. Yeah. Did you meet him? anybody there? I met Bill Gates there.

I was like, do fucking Bill Gates? Yeah. But it was nothing weird. Everything was just like cool, good vibes. I swear I didn't see anything like creepy. Well, I'm sure it was good vibes, but, um, was it good vibes for everybody there? Yeah.

Um, from what I saw, but I wasn't there for, obviously not, but I wasn't there for it. Yeah. Hmm. And I'm really embarrassed. And I wish, I, I wish, I wished I never did the wave pool. Sick waves, though. It was sick. Are you guys being fully transparent here?

No, dude, yeah, like 100%. And we're not going to see anything when those emails come out, anything else? All you're going to see is like, hey, the swell is, there's going to be a four to five foot swell. The swell? Are we talking about the waves here? Yeah, four to five foot swell. West, actually, this is east coast. So it's like, you know, northeast, northeast swell. Yeah, I just didn't know there was surf. there's a lot of surfing going on

not part of the Caribbean. There was follow-up emails where I was like, dude, please have me back, but I missed the waves. Like I was like, it was flat as hell in California and I was like, dude, I'd love to go back like I'm Jones and for it. And my language sounds

corny, but I'm horny for waves. And I also, I was like, hey bro, I really want to get wet again. Yeah, you're CCed. We're CCed together on all the... JT, what kind of bored were you? I was on a fish. You want a fish?

And how big were the waves that you were surfing on that fish? What is? It's about six feet? Okay. Yeah, that was like a six area. Yeah. And six feet waves there? Which is like the biggest, like, kind of man-assisted wave, you'll find.

Okay. Or kid assisted. Okay. Sorry. And I was riding a thruster. Okay. And how many times did you come? We jacked off in the tent

Yeah You jacked up in the tent? Okay I don't know what You're being skeptical You're our friends You know we're good guys Like why would you like

Insinuate with your questioning that I'm just looking out for myself here I don't know what's going to be in those emails Why were you guys talking about this years ago Huh? I'm not Peter and Tia dude Yeah and also I didn't I didn't make the connection

I didn't realize that the Epstein pedophile sex trafficking ring guy was the same as Epstein I have sick waves guy Okay

Yeah I thought those were Two very different Like passions Okay But he was like kind of a He liked a lot of stuff Hey I'm not judging you You sounds

It feels like you're judging us Because I am You think you're better than me I don't know I've just never been to that island So maybe yes Yes I am Well, that's what's good about being the schmull.

It's like no one's going to invite you to like six shit. Yeah. So you're never going to get in trouble because you're freaking... Only milfs on Catalina. I can tell you that much. Yeah, I mean, you assaulted the seal on Catalina. There's footage of you face fucking the seal. I'm about to be a fucking dick to Kevin in this.

The key word. What was his name? What was the seal's name? I'm about to piss Kevin off What was the SEAL's name? Old Ben. Old Ben. The key word there, not young Ben.

Old Ben. Old Ben, the keyword old, old. Old Ben was so old. He wasn't capable of consent. There was a guy in sex addicts who used to, it was a great guy. It'd come a long way. But he used to be like, look, I had sex with animals

when I was in my addiction. And then he go like this. And then he go, and if you're not careful, you're judging me right now. But if you don't get this thing, going to control you're going to do the same exact thing. Did you tell you what I would always be in my head? You can't say anything but I was being in my own.

I'm like, I'm not going to do that, dude. And then he would do it every time he led. He'd be like, you're going to do the same thing. And I'd be like, hey, bro, like, it's bullying at this point. I'm not going to do that. Like, I got issues for sure, but like, it's not. What kind of animals? I don't know.

Can you get this guy on the pod? He had a spiel and he would say it once in a while and then I, you're not supposed to like follow up on stuff. So I'd just think. So no one was like, wait, wait, pause, bro. No cross talk. You're not allowed to pause people. Wait.

Let's take a tea. What kind of animals? I don't know. But I guess the most favorable. I feel bad area. But the part, he'd just be like, when he'd be like, he'd like,

he'd make eye contact, he's supposed to get people fired up. He'd be like, you can do the same thing if you don't get control of this thing. And I was like, fuck, he's the guy that brought AIDS to America. Yeah.

What? What? So was he fucking the animals? Or was the animals? fucking him. I don't know. You'd have to ask him, but I never did. I just stopped going.

No one showed up to the meeting. He's like, where'd everyone go? I feel bad. I mean, everyone's got to try and get better. This is sex addicts for humans. You're in the wrong. There should be a separate... That's...

I had to thought I was like separate room. I'm just like, is there guys who like jack off too much? I'd like to be in that area. You were about to be a dick to Kevin. Oh, yeah. Oh, thank you. Kevin. You are kind of the judgeer of other people's sexual actouts.

You know, and by that, I mean, like, you and Chad were the best at humping things. For our show, I had to hump things as well. You were highly critical of my humping, my noises. You said it wasn't funny. You said it didn't match the vibe. And of late, though, Chad and Strider have been doing heated rivalry, and they do Hollander talk where they sound like the Russian do, and they say, Hollander, we fuck.

It's simple, simple, we fuck. And they do, like, a run on that. I don't know if you're doing it right, because you've... Me and Chad, me and Chad do it like 15 times a day to each other. I know that. and I've heard it and I don't I'm just saying as a friend

who believes in standards I don't know if you're if it's all the way there yet not that it can't get there I don't know if it's there right now that was and is the correct word anticlimactic anti climatic

climatic that was you being a dick to me yeah that I that I don't do an impression of the guy from that hockey fucking show you're not hurt by that do you does does chad play you our voice messages yeah but you what how is mine different than his

should we are we gonna have a hollander off no i i i no can i play some of yours yeah i'm not gonna critique it i just enjoy hearing him boy play yours and then play mine chad told me you're not doing it right i don't know if i have yours oh are you supposed to press keep okay uh basically the back The back story is me and Chad sexed each other multiple times a day as Holland. No, not Hollander. We're the Russian guy. Here's Strider. Listen to this.

That is the sound of my refrigerator door opening. Also known as a box of sustenance. Also what I call your ass. And as I gaze upon the refrigerator, I see so many things. I would like to stick in your ass. carrots and egg not cooked grapes rasp berries sparkling water can mac and cheese but i only want one thing stuck in my ass a dick simple fuck wait hold on that's better than mine what what why would you that that's way better than mine that's all i'm saying but

how is that being a dick to me i've seen like one and a half episodes of this I thought you would be more competitive about it. You're actually not. The problem is actually good. The problem is I started watching the show and then I, like, after two episodes or I was also, I just like doing the voice texting, but. Fair enough. Should you do a Kevin one now?

Wait. You do a good one, though. I don't know. Hollander, it's me. Here's what you're going to do. A room tonight. I cross-checked you with my hockey stick. You.

call a penalty and I cream in your box I think that's actually pretty good yeah stop being so gay and come over and let me cream

is that the end and then this is I guess Chad I don't know difference between jelly and jam I want to put my cock in your ass and cream

that's the difference now I don't know where you are, maybe you had the pediatrician office, or maybe you had a David Busters. But other way, I'm going to bust inside your butthole. So call me back. Siebert. Hollander, I know he. Wait, what's happening?

Is it still playing? Just keeps going. Go. It's just, it's like multiple. of them. Yeah. So what I mean, I think all of ours were pretty good. You know what? I stand corrected. I mean, I think that was actually pretty

good. If I had to vote, I would vote for striders, but. The hockey stick one was pretty great. And you got they have more, because you guys are, aren't you doing this for your videos and shit? It's true. So I was doing a, well, I thought Hollander was the Russian guy first and then I realized I was the twink, but I wanted

to be the guy fucking, fucking, so we're all the guy fucking Hollander. Yeah. So the guy gets, it's more fun to be that guy. You know, I don't know. I thought it was going to kick up more energy. Well, let's hear you, bitch. I think I do the best one, but I do the realist one.

Do it right now. Hollander, get over here. You think you can run from me. I know what you want. When you're out of my rank, I know what you think about. You think about me on top of you, my hot breath in your ear. So I whisper what a little fuck doll you are. And then I take you from mind.

I take your tight ass. I dominate you in a way you've never been taken I make you mine You're mine hollander You can skate in with all the hard trophies you want But at the end of the day You know who you belong to I am I am I'm inside of you right now

Damn I mean that's fine but I think I liked ours Better than yours But I always play it realer I like you laughing in the middle I could hear you laughing you're giggling in it I wasn't giggling you were giggling Could you hear his giggle

I'm at this you got to get into it I love all of them you're asking you don't love all of them you can't actually love all of them I do love all you've told me you don't love all of them you're playing for the camera

Hollander it's me Hollander it's me the only thing that you love the only thing that you love you are you are a lot I don't want to lose I don't want to lose these voice memos You're not going to lose anything.

You'll gain much more. Now listen to them. Tell the truth. I will jam my cock in your mouth. I need this. I will pound you. I need these to come, okay? I will pound you.

Yeah, I mean, you came in so hot on that. Like, you're shitting on me, but it sounds like we're all of you're all pretty similar. I thought it would be a thing. Oh, it wasn't a thing. No, it wasn't. No, it wasn't. You fucked up on that. I took a swing and I was out there and then I looked around.

You played yourself. He looks like you played yourself. Yeah, I did, I did, I did. What do you say? What's that phrase? Okay, I think, I think, I think what you're referring to is you were saying you were Hollander in the group chat,

and I said, you were not Hollis. You were confused too. You were getting it wrong too. Right, but you thought Hollander was the Russian guy too. No, I know, I know Hollander's the Asian guy. But I have a lot of, I don't save them all, but you were, maybe I confused you and then

you were confused too. But it's okay. I think I was confused too. All right, should we call it there? Yeah, it's pretty hilarious. It feels like a good place to end it. Does everybody know what that? It's popular, right?

The show where the hockey players are fucking and there's no hockey whatsoever in the show. Is there ever hockey in the show? But be real. Do you think I played it? Do you think I played I played Ilya too real? I think if I were to because I play these for Kennedy

it would be scary she would be like are you is JT fucking you yeah but let's see that makes me laugh but let's go back that makes me laugh more to think that Kennedy would hear it and actually get suspicious that we're having a gay affair to me that's where the joy

comes from I'm tickled now can you imagine if she walks in she's like cooking dinner and she hears on the couch be like your hot breath yeah it was a weird detail Yeah. And I tell you what the fuck does you are. Yeah.

She's like, what are you doing? I'm like, oh, JT, just left me a message. That makes me. Yeah, but this comes full circle. Yeah. I might start doing that.

But I don't trust that you'll play them for her. This comes full circle. Because you started out with like, when we were doing all the shit in the show where you were, like we were having fun with it and you took it too serious and it wasn't as fun, comes full circle here. we're exaggerating the things. We're talking about like our hockey sticks in the ass.

Strider is talking about the shit in his fridge. And then you go full serious. Yeah, because I appreciate what you guys do. And I've actually learned to love it more. But for me, it's like, I just think it's funnier when it's like, when it's like touching that line of like too real. Yeah, that's the key though. You think it's funny.

You think it's funny. I think if you, but I will say, this if you're watching it in an actual performance the real or you play it the better it is but these are voice memos yeah and where it's like we're we're just sending voice memos to each other throughout the day but i you but this is what i said in the original i agree with your point there if you heard that in a movie yeah yeah it wouldn't be funnier it would be better it would be funny are you saying better or funnier i'm saying both and here's what i'm saying i and i've told you this from the beginning i don't ever pretend when it comes especially to sex stuff because you

you play how you practice so I'm in it all day and that's why I fuck motherfucker Yeah I've actually learned that list You don't pretend when you're having gay sex You know I If I have gay sex for pretend

I'm the best gay sex I would like to think if I was having real gay sex You laugh That I would be more on the Saying cream a lot Yeah but you told me that's how you were during Strakes you told me

that during straight sex you like to do funny sex noises oh do you know I make I like when I'm washing the dishes sometimes I'm just like have I told you guys this before I'll just like moan and then you'll just

hear my wife go Shut up I hate that stop moaning when you're when you're in the heat of passion do you say like I'm gonna bust I'm gonna know that was I that would be

that would be my dream to just to be able to go just like right when you're about to bus go to like a girl when you're banging her for the first time we've already went over that but yeah I'm just like when I'm in the house I'm doing it's for some reason it just comes out

when I'm doing like household activities like when I'm washing the dishes I'll just be washing the dishes and I'll just be watching the dishes and I guess it's an issue and when we did the fake female orgasm at the standup show, the crowd picked me for first place. Oh, when we had the moan off? Yeah, but you cheated. You were talking. No, I got first place. It's not cheating. And, and a guy came up to me after the show and said,

dude, how was that so real? He said it sounded, he's like, he's like, that was so close. Sounds like he wanted to fuck you. I thought we're going for laugh. No, he was, he was kind of scared. He was like, dude, that sounded so much like a female orgasm. Sounds like a very, he laughed a lot during it. Could you do that? Oh, that's right. You'd have to hear one first. I thought we were doing, I thought we were doing a comment. I thought we were doing a comedy show but yeah I don't hear a lot of wait a male orgasm I'd have to hear male orgasm? A female orgasm was a female orgasm I don't hear a lot of female orgasm I haven't heard a lot of female orgasms

outside well porn I but those aren't real I think we should end there