Going Deep with Chad and JT - EP 437 - AI IS GONNA REPLACE SURFERS

Episode Date: April 29, 2026

Today the Bros take a DEEP DIVE into new technology. Are the robots going to replace Kelly Slater? Chad is just trying to get barreled and hit a few kerrupt flips but developers seem to be buying less beach front property after the recent news. The bros also talk about a new solush to homeless ish. Should we give them jobs as babysitters? JT makes a solid point to get these bros off the streets. We also take a few calls and bring back BEEFS, BABES, and LEGENDS! THIS IS AN EPIC OLD SCHOOL GOING DEEP VIBE - JABWOWOWOWOW! We are live streaming a fully unedited version of the pod on Twitch, if you want to chat with us while we're recording, follow here: https://www.twitch.tv/chadandjtgodeepGrab some dank merch here:https://appreeshapparel.com/Come see us on Tour! Get your tix - https://www.chadandjt.comTEXT OR CALL the hotline with your issue or question: 323-418-2019(Start with where you're from and name for best possible advice)Check out the reddit for some dank convo: https://www.reddit.com/r/ChadGoesDeep/Thanks to our Sponsors:BLUECHEW - GET ROCK HARD TODAY WITH THE BEST WINGMAN, Bluechew. Visit https://www.bluechew.com and use code GODEEP to get a Month Free when you purchase two months worth of GOLD! PRODUCTION & EDITS BY: Jake RohretSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

What's repeat? AI is going to replace surfers. Whoa. So here's the thing. And this is all from my buddy Derek, but he is never wrong. Here's the thing about beach towns nowadays. They're all about aesthetic, right? Pretty soon, AI robots are going to be able to shred better than Kelly Slater times a million.

And so what kind of beach town would you rather? go to if you're a developer. This is not me personally. This is a developer. If you're a developer and you see just a bunch of surfers in the water just shredding as hard as pot like it's, it's beautiful. Like they're just ripping it up doing, you know, corrupt flips and fat air reverses and beautiful carves nonstop. As a developer, you're like, wow, that's going to attract so many people to the beach town. Conversely, if you go to a beach town, it's a bunch of cooks in the water

who can't even surf, who can't even stand up, who dodge barrels, that's not a cool aesthetic. And I'm not saying I'm pro this. I'm just saying that's what's going to happen. Just from a tech optimist perspective, would a robot, though, be more ethical?

Like, would they ever do a bait-and-switch high five to win pipeline against Machado? Whoa. Dude, if I think about it super hard right now and I think about AI, I don't think AI would even know how to do that. Whoa. Yeah, like if they're programmed for decency, maybe we're not going to see as many squabbles on the sand.

Yeah, like AI, it's like programmed not to burn. So AI will never snake you. But. and I might take every wave. So it'll be chiller, but it actually will be worse. Yeah. That's smart.

Dude, similarly, JetBlue stepped in it. A customer was tweeting, yo bro, why did my ticket price jump 250 bucks in 30 seconds? I'm trying to get to a funeral. And JetBlue was like clear your history, which was super suspicious,

because that suggests that they're spying on you. Whoa. And so if they know you got money or if you're in a hurry, they jack up your price. Whoa. There's a terminology for it, surveillance pricing.

If this is true that they're doing shit like that, there needs to be massive repercussions and it has to go beyond the financial because these bros got deep pockets, like fat stacks. What I think we have to do is shit. shame these businesses. That is why I am endorsing a full investigation of JetBlue,

and if they are found guilty, they have to change their name from JetBlue to JetDoo-Doo. Dude, I think that's an epic piece of legislation. I think you should take that to Mayor Pratt right now. Here's the thing. Not to side with JetBlue. I'm just saying like if they were aware of my search history maybe when I'm on a JetBlue flight they'll cater it to me

so they'll be like all right Chad's in seat 12a let's put a bunch of butts on his screen and I don't even have to do anything so if they know your search history they could be like here's some butts here is the Bruce movie here is um Michael Jackson the bad tour Here is Beb's Coachella set

Here is more butts And then here's some boobs And then they bring me like Poki and And they bring me like A steak and then like some Beef liver so I can really load up on my new Trish Heavy lift for them

But if they could personalize my flight like that I'd be like Jet you or jet goo why because you bust

dude I think that was a very valuable alternative perspective on a complicated subject thank you dude but thank you for doing your research

and a slight coda as well because my thing's about shaming people I think instead of the scarlet letter we could call it the poop smear

right because Scarlet Letter sounds kind of sick. Yeah, and it just doesn't like, I don't even know what the fuck they're talking about when they say that. Yeah, I'm always like, is that what pirates used to get? So Scarlet Letter, it's not a vitamin C deficiency. It's pirates, no, it's someone hands you a letter saying,

you're a piece of shit. I think there was a lady who was a whore in the 1800s, and they made her wear, a tag on her arm that said like slept bag on it. Damn. Erethless. Damn.

Who did that? The mean girl? Hawthorne? Not chill, dude. So I was scootering to Starbucks. This kid this kid I think he has some

crazy Gen Alpha name like Alpha. he's always popping wheelies on his e-bike near my crib so i'm scootering to starbucks and he stops me he's like yo unc where's your helmet dog and i was like i don't need a helmet bro like i'm not like i thought he was trying to like wrote me into like outing myself as a pussy and i was like bro, I don't need a helmet. Like, helmets are lame. I never wear a helmet.

And he's like, whoa, dude. You're really going to put your dome at risk like that? That's literally your most prized commodity. It's the thing that holds all of your memories, your life experience, your ability to tell your fiance how much you care about her and love her. It's an ability to process things like a boner. And you're just going to put it at risk like that so you can scoot. And I was like, damn, dude.

And then he's like, where are you going? I'm like, Starbucks. He's like, bro, that coffee is not organic. I'm like, what do you mean? He's like, it comes from mixed sources. You know, it could come from Colombia. It could come from Mexico. It could come from Madagascar.

But here's the thing. You don't know what they're spraying on those beans, bro. Pesticides, residue, all kinds of is. So why don't you go for something organic? organic and put on a lid. Can you believe that? That's really valuable info that kid gave you. I would have never expected that from Alpha.

I'd also like to explain to the audience because I'm sensitive to the sensitive that when we say pussy, we don't mean that as representative of being a woman. We mean it as in having low skill, like women do sometimes with skating. Dude, fire explanation. Dude, you're touching on something

pretty profound too, which is nostalgia. Like as these new generations come through and they switch up the modus operandi on how we chill, it makes me want to go back to how it was. Like that peak era of American civilization between 2008 to 2014, that was a period of such hope. And I think we could remind ourselves of that more if we labeled it. like gave it a freaking sick name that just was Proustian in its effect like it brought us all right back there and i don't think anyone from the 2008 to 2013 era is more representative of that hope than one person who kings of leon

that's one dude for the most part when that album came out in 08 with you somebody and sex on fire, it had both sides of the relationship polarities. And I think if I could just channel that every day, if I could remember that, that that was there once, that like these dudes became epic, that they went from bros to arenas. If I could remember that that pipeline is real

and that it could happen to you, it could happen to me, it could happen to them. Then I'd be more fired up on the daily and I'd be a better dad. Wow. So you think we need a label for that time period, 2008-14? And the keyword,

I thought you're going to see, the keyword is hope. Hope. And we'll call that the Kings of Leon era. Oh, the Kings of Leon era? The Kings of Leon years. The Kings of Leon years. Yeah, that rolls off the tongue.

Do you think Obama's going to be pissed? Who? Exactly. So we were kicking it this weekend. San Antonio. That was sick. We got back Sunday, flash forward to Sunday. I was hanging with my boy Yonder.

And, yeah, I met up with him at a bar. He had some of his crew there. And Yonder goes, dude, do you want a beer? And I said, no. I'm going to go with a Randy Palmer. and his other boy Derek goes gay and it really took me a back

and it really kind of deflated my stoke for 30 seconds where I sunk into myself body posture closed in weiner like a turtle retreating back into its shell and then I had like a resurgence of energy

and stoke and I was like hold on a second dude the fact that I don't want to have a brewski right now doesn't mean I like weiner and balls and it doesn't mean I don't like to

get intimate with vagina yeah what I'm doing right now is it Sunday I'm choosing not to have a beer because I'm preserving my stoke right and that doesn't make me want to go make out with a dude and possibly have um intercourse with his butt in reality and i looked him in the eye i was like dude in reality what's going on here is you subconsciously use the other definition of gay happy because he recognized even though

he was trying to punk me he recognized that i was being gay preserving my stoke, my happiness. And also, Derek, if you're watching, so what if I, you know, if I were gay, I think that'd be sick. But that's just like not, you know, that's not how it was born, bro. Like I love, I love jugs and I love,

I love a good cameltoe. God, I love cameltoe. Let me just shame Derek right now. even though it goes against my character to punish people for mistakes, I think it's deserved in this instance. Listen, Derek, that was a very rude thing you did to just generalize about a group like that because I happen to know a lot of gay dudes who love to drink beer and smash pussy. And you wouldn't know that because maybe you don't know that many gay dudes.

But if you opened up your heart a little bit, you'd see that. Dude, thank you for having my back right there. For sure. You'll be better for this, Derek. Dude, this is in an adjacent lane. And I have to get vulnerable here. We all know masturbation is probably the biggest issue in America right now. We all know there's a lot of bros out there and chicks.

You can't stop cracking on themselves. But there's another version of it that's just as sinister and just as big a problem. And that's dudes you can't stop sucking their own dicks. I am in that camp. I don't know what it is, but every time I get stressed out and I don't know how to deal with life, I just put my cock in my mouth and I take care of it myself. But it's not healthy. Like I got to deal with life on life's terms and I can't just be, you know, in the world

sometimes where I don't even have like, you know, the right space to operate, just be sitting in my car just chugging my dick. And so I want to put it out there in the open because I know there's a lot of guys who have this issue and they don't know who to talk to about it. But I am with you, bro. If you like me,

just can't stop blowing yourself, you can stop blowing yourself. We could do that together. And that's why I want to create a movement. Starting now, we're going to do no blow yourself November, but we're going to do it in May. So join me in this endeavor.

Look, you don't have to, to be perfect. But if we could get it down to just, you know, blowing yourself once a week, once a day, whatever it is for you, we can make progress and we can be more connected to our families. Dude, first off, I want to give you massive props for your openness, your vulnerability, your encouragement of all those dudes out there who are blowing themselves. Just to follow up, do you finish? Every time. Where do you bust? In my mouth. It's, started from a healthy place. Like I was like, I thought porn was the problem.

So I was like, well, if I'm just sucking my own dick, I can't even see the porn. But then after a while, I just kept sucking my own dick. And life just piles on, you know, family stress, money problems, just, you know, expectations not being met. And pretty soon, you know, you're at a softball game, but you're thinking about chugging your own cock. And that is not bliss. Mm-mm. No. I'm sorry, I'm getting emotional.

I haven't talked about it publicly. So, like, how do you do it? How I suck my own dick? Yeah. I mean, you know, just fucking basic bullshit, dude, you just... You kind of get like a roly-pullie? You just be in your car. You're already wooded up because you're stressed and then you just unzip and just...

Don't cut that. Because I need people to see how sad. savage it is. So, don't cut it. And this is, I'm just curious for like a friend. Are there any stretches you can do to be able to like reach your own pecker?

Yeah, for sure. I mean, every night I stretch for 20 minutes. You know, I'm doing hip flexures. I'm doing 90s. I'm doing just basic touching toes.

Do you think you could give me like a routine so I could, I could send it to my boy? Oh. Wait, dude. What? This is like your third follow-up question. I'm starting to get suspicious.

Are you having lower back problems? Yeah, that's, yeah. My lower back is killing me. I was wondering if I could, if you could like teach me how to stretch it out so that I could like just bend in half? Well, dude, a lot of the problems from the lower back actually start up in the head.

Like what you really need to do is loosen up your throat. Okay. And just go in there and just massage behind your molars with your fingers. and that'll loosen up your jaw and your throat. And you'll feel it. Like food will just start sliding down.

And once you get that worked out, you'll be chugging all. Anything you eat is just going to be zero effort. Yeah. And that'll help your lower back. Okay. So, right. Just practice like, you know,

loosening the jaw, letting things just slide down my throat. And yeah, and you can. You can help practice it. Like you can just lodge like a cucumber in there. Okay. And just walk around.

Hello. And that'll help form fit all the important muscles that create that tension that metastasizes down to the LB. And so you just stick it in there and just get that ready. Okay. And your back will be feeling great. All right. Sick. Okay.

Wait. What? What? Don't start blowing yourself, dude. Bro. after that speech i'm not going to start dude i know it's like a serious serious ish i'm not gonna start blowing myself bro dude i'm serious man i'm not dude uh you can like yeah with jake here's our witness shout at jake you know i'm not you know i would never blow myself dude if you start blowing yourself

i'm gonna feel bad and then i'm gonna start blowing myself again all right yeah and bro the last thing i would ever want to do is suck my own dick and bust in my own mouth bro bro All right, I believe you. All right, moving on. This podcast is brought to you by Douglas Lubricant, the best in the biz. Guys, if you use Lube for hardware or for intercourse, Douglas has got you handled,

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See MintMobile for details. Dude, on some positive news, the Dow is green today. That's my favorite. right dude it does dictate my day like I always turn on CNBC and I'm like what's the Dow at you know give it to me good Lou Dobbs

and if it's oh fuck Jake just pulled it up big ups to Jake dude our new producer he's super educated it's like super red yeah that looks like so that chart

it looks like way lower it's super low oh my god yeah the sap 500 is down 0.50% whoa so that's like

um that point is like a time symbol oh but dude Microsoft is up sick let's go yeah let's go Microsoft

let's go bro yeah turn the tie dog Oh my God. Sorry about that. Didn't mean to pull up the red there. Oh, it's all good, dude. I mean, you know, as much as the truth hurts, you got to know it. But, dude, so stoked for Microsoft is up, dude.

Let's go. Yeah. I don't have any Microsoft stock, but I'm just stoked for that. Dude, and some financial advice, though. I want a bit big on avocado. Like I want to go all in on avocado. I'm talking, you know, I have, like, not to be braggy and not to be, like, kind of gross, but I got 5,000 bones from a settlement.

Yeah, a lift truck ran over my scooter. or a lift vehicle. And so I got 5,000 bones and I want to put it all in avocado. Dude, I totally respect that. But how are you going to go all in on avocados when they go bad after like five days? I'm saying, do you go with something more durable,

something you know you can count on? But here's the thing, bro. Avocados in this day and age are the only thing I can count on. I guess it's, you know, there's a lot of fragility in there. Do you go big on rice? But dude, our buddy, our buddy, our buddy Moss, he looks so tan, he looks so ripped. He grew out his flow.

And I'm like, how did, you know, how did you get that shredded? And he's like, I cut out rice. People are going to start cutting out rice. I would short rice. Like, I know Asia's big on rice. but shortage dog all right i'm with you then i'm gonna go i'm gonna match your your bet i'm gonna go five grand on avocados you convinced me that was super fire thank you for always guiding me in these financial endeavors as well i mean dude you know finances my passion that i'm i'm right there with you

we're so you guys here to hear first and foremost we're stacking stacks on avocados they're in season all year round and we're betting that now is the time dude thank you so much for being on board with that that's the thing too is like even if I disagreed with you you're my boy so if you make a bet on a product I'm going to make that bet with you

yeah because that's what gets rewarded is like having your homies back yeah like if you start like trusting your thoughts over your boy's thoughts that's how you lose every time and I don't want to lose ever that's how every villain becomes a villain in a movie they lose they lose

Anakin and Obi-one he betrayed him he betrayed him um uh heat Robert De Niro Val Kilmer he said

you know or they didn't listen to one of them yes they made mistakes yeah they definitely made mistakes They, they, they, they, they, they, their boy or like, one of them had the thought of like, okay, we're, we're really dipping into dangerous territory robbing this bank. But they're like, no, but we need it. And that was what was so compelling about that film is that, you know, superficially, it's about Robert De Niro Al Pacino Val Kilmer.

But on a deeper level, and a lot of people didn't catch this. It's about what can go wrong if you rob banks for a living. Right. I never thought about that way. And that's why at the end of the movie, they're like, you know, in bad situations is because they were robbing banks and that's against the law. Right. And that's a bad thing to do. And that is a bad thing to do. Right. Even though it looks. It looks so sick. So, so, so sick. So sick. What up, guys? I want to give a shout out to our sponsor, Blue Chew. Blue Chew is the best ED pill in the game. If you have a we have a wean, that's soft and it refuses to get hard, maybe you should check out Blue Chew because Blue Chew has an arousal boosting formula. Blue Chew Gold. It's helping millions of men get rock hard and bone well in 2026.

And while most ED meds only focus on blood flow, Blue Chew Gold goes further by combining two ingredients for blood flow with two ingredients for mental arousal and connect. So you're not just physically ready, you're in the mood to bone. And don't we all want that? Isn't that something that feels like it's lacking in today's world? When you have a boner but you don't want a bone or conversely if you do want a bone but you can't get a bone, that's why Blue Chew exists and that's why Blue Chew sponsors this pod because we care about you and getting your ween or hard. Don't let your mind get in the way of a good time. Discover your options at bluechew.com,

and we got a special deal for our listeners. Right now, when you buy two months of Blue Chew Gold, you get the third for free with promo code Go Deep. That's promo code Go Deep. Visit BluChu.com for more details and important safety information, and we thank Blue Chew for sponsoring the pod. I'm going to get Hetty here. I've been reading some pretty substantial white papers

on a ton of crisis. And there's a couple that are aligning in a way where I feel like there's a potential solution. So in Los Angeles, we have a homeless crisis. And it's been very difficult to fix. We also in Los Angeles have a birth rate crisis. People aren't making babies, which I think is directly connected to how expensive it is to have a family and to pay for child care.

So now we've got some calming leadership that's like, yo, we'll pay for child care. But then more fiscally concerned people are like, how are you going to cover the bill? Here's my solution. Homeless people, one in five has a dog right now when we were coming up. It was like one in 12. Clearly they want companionship. And they deserve that. At the same time, these other people need babysitters to watch their kids when they're walking two jobs.

the government should subsidize homeless people to be babysitters. Whoa. Because you're killing one fat bird with one big ass stone. You're employing the homeless people and you're helping people get child care, which is a huge, massive expense, especially in this day and age with what with interest rates and with inflation being what it is and the straight of Hormuz. precise so you get them credentialed whatever that process is and then there's like an app and then you they come over and they get to chill with somebody and it's your kid and then they're looked after you go out make your buns come home and then this dude lives with you yeah yeah i think that's a really sick idea and also you can make like an app like rover you know where you find a dog sitter so it's like you it's like you You know, you can get reviews.

It would be like, you know, Dusty was like a great babysitter. You know, he, yeah. In my childhood, my babysitter really formed how I think. Do you think that would affect the way that kids become adults, you know? Like, are these people going to have negative influence at all? Or is it mostly just positive because they're going to have a job? Positive. Yeah.

It will either be no effect or positive. Dude, should we take some voicemails? Dude, I think that would be sick. Should we take some calls? So I guess people are calling in and they want help from us on stuff, which I'm so honored by. What's up, guys? I'm from Canada. Love the podcast.

Love the show. Bonjour. You guys are the best podcast I listen to. Anyways, I'm going to get right to the point. what do you guys think about more and more actually less and less people are getting married and they're doing more like cohabitation lifestyle having family having children but like not formally being married I know Strider is engaged and I know Chris is married so I know you guys are And so what do you guys think is the pros and cons of marriage

versus just straight up cohabitation and having a family without the official license or certificate? So anyways, love the podcast, guys. Keep doing what you're doing. And take it easy. Cheers. I want to say first off, before I answer this question, that you're obviously not from Canada

and you're pretending to be Canadian. Thank you for calling that out. which in Canada is a crime. So it's cool. We're not going to rat on you, but you're playing with a real particular fire, brother. So look, getting married is huge, right? You got to find your person and you got to build together.

And then there's man's law, then there's God's law, and then there's the badass law. Now, I'm a badass. but I'm a badass you can trust. I'm the kind of badass that when the other badasses are knocking on your door coming to do their fucked up shit, I'm the badass you want to call.

I'm the guy. So for me, it's whatever I say. So if I don't want to get married, we're not getting married. But if I pivot and we are getting married, well, guess what? You're going to feel pretty good about that.

Because you know when you're walking down the aisle, you're looking at someone who could wipe out every, in that dance hall. And so you got to get out of your head thinking about what do they want? What do she want? What do I want? It's what do the badasses want. But you got to be a good guy.

You got to be someone people can count on. Now, if you marry someone, that makes them feel like they can count on you because you put pen to paper. So for me, I'm pro-marriage. 100% agreed. dude, here's the thing. When you get married, when you ask someone to marry you,

you're getting a real certificate. You're getting a title, husband, wife. I don't like when things are kind of fluid, where it's like you guys have been together for 20 years, but you're not married. It's like either dive in, or dive out. You know?

Totally agree. Put a ring on it or put a ring on your nutsack, dude. And go to Black's Beach and be an avant-garde nudist. Totally. Like, hey, go ahead. Don't get married. Be with someone.

And label it whatever you want. But sooner or later, that person's going to walk. Yeah. Like, if you don't think Kurt Russell's going to cheat on Goldie Hawn and leave her, you're living in the dark brother that moment's coming and I can't feel bad for her because she saw the writing

it was everywhere and here's the thing dude commitment is incredibly stoke-inducing when you're with someone and you say you know what I'm going to put a ring on it

and you're saying look I'm going to be with you through the good times and the bad and I want it recognized by Gavin News some himself or in your instance if you are canadian katie perry and so you know with newsome looking over us and being like i you know i certificate this marriage that's saying you know when when we're having our down days you know let's say i have diarrhea one day let's say she has diarrhea one day because we're making that commitment

I will look her square in the eyes and be like, I'm down with this. And that is incredibly stoke-inducing. Did that make sense? 100%. It's like, okay, look, we both have diarrhea and our toilets busted because the trees underneath have overgrown and they busted up the pipe, so we're getting no flush. We're going to lay out newspapers, watch Friday night lights,

and just free dump all over the house. Now, do you want to do that with your girlfriend? Or do you want to do that with your wife? Next call. bro. I also want to say to the people on the live and in the people on the chat, the first part of that answer about being a badass was the first time on this episode I wasn't in character. Yo, Chad, yo JT. What out, dude. Fucking cream jeans coming out of Carl's dad, San Diego. What up? Got an arly work situation. Just trying to stay in my lane. Got coworkers casually drop in the N-word,

like it's part of the workflow. I'm like, this is not the vibe. So I take it to my supervisor. nothing happens. I take it to HR and then two later two days later I get suspended and then one day later I got fired So right now I'm just wondering should I just kept my mouth shut and You know look out for myself or was it good to look out for the greater good of humanity and try to Correct the culture at this workplace? Did I? Try to make the world about

Better place was stoke or did I become a schmol? Please let me know. Love you guys, bro. I have just a pretty big queue right off the top. Were they black? Because if they were black and he was snitching on them for using the N-word, I think that would be like kind of weird. I still respect it.

Standards or standards. I almost had the inverted thought. where I was like, were you working at the Ku Klux Klan? Whoa. You're like, oh, dude, all these dudes are dropping N-Bobbs and HR's wearing the Grand Wizard hat. He's like, I don't know if you know what we do here,

but that's kind of part of the biz. Right. I don't know if you're a good culture fit, cream jeans. You might have to dip. It's like the Ku Klux Klan has moved into the tech sector, so it's Klu Klux. clue collects clanify. Dot com. Yeah, and it's an app

where you can, you know, have meetups with all the other clan members and you just pay it, you know, you can pay it a match with other clan members and you like boost your numbers. So dude, I think those two questions are super valid for cream jeans. And dude, you know what, man,

cream jeans, we know you, bro. You're a brave dude. You speak your truth and you're always coming from a good place. Did you lose in the short term? Yeah, you lost a paycheck. But the thing is, dude, you stood up for humanity, and that's going to serve you well in the long run, and you have our respect, dog.

So you just keep living as you are. We always got your back, and the next job will be better. I think it's actually kind of unique to meet a workplace where they're dropping end bombs regularly. I think you'll be pleasantly surprised at your new gig that is not a regular occurrence.

We love you, cream jeans. Keep creaming in your jeans. Thanks for standing up. Next call. Hi, guys. This is Carl calling in from Northern California. I need some advice, gentlemen, when you're dating, is the onus on us to not have sex with a woman whose intentions are looking for a relationship. So during the dating period, when you're getting to know each other, is the onus on us to not have sex to not have sex.

because I was dating this chick for a couple weeks. Things got hot and heavy. We ended up boning. I was pretty stoked on that. She was pretty stoked on that. A few weeks later, I decided she wasn't quite what I was looking for. In an open, honest, and respectful way, I let her know that. She proceeded to cry and become very upset.

that I didn't tell her that before we had sex. Gentlemen, help me out here. Thanks, guys. Have a stoked day. Bye. Dude, first off, I want to say, you're a good guy. Secondly, I think she gave you the solution. I think next time you're in that situation with a chick,

and dude, they're going to be into you because you are a legend. But next time you're in that situation, right before you start to fornicate, you go, hold up. Just so you know, I'm not looking for a relationship. This is about a casual exchange of intimacy where we will both feel good, but it will not inevitably lead to us living in a home together. But I would still like to proceed with weiner insertion if it so entices you still.

Carl, you write down what he just said, script it out, and say that on the first date. Even when you just sit down, should we get appetizers? No, I have something to say. If we have fornication where my wiener goes in your vagina and there's moisture exchange and there's busting and there's muscle spasm and there's, you know, There's, you know, more busting. For sure. I just want you to know that I'm just looking for that. I'm not looking for a connection.

Conversely, dude, you could be like, look, I'm looking for a relish. And this kind of stokes me up even more. Look, I'm looking for a relish. So if you want a bone, that's like a nice little side effect. Because I just want to get to know you. And then if I get to know you, it will make. makes you, you, like maybe you like watching Pirates of the Caribbean and have a mac and cheese. Maybe you cry when you see the desert.

And then you know those things. And then you're boning on top of that. And you're like, wow, I know all this stuff. Dude, that's it, man. That is a higher peak. Dude, also, like, it can be hard when you're horny to know what you should say because you just want to, like, feel. and you want it to be intense. So maybe like if you can't adhere to our script,

like either have it recorded and hit play on like one of those old school analog tape recorders or have it printed somewhere like on a scroll and be like here. Like it's almost like, uh, like terms of, uh, a agreement before you like get iTunes, you know? And you'd be like, hey, read this, sign it. And then, and then be like, all right, now you're going to get, now you're going to get lit.

dude dude something just popped in my head yeah something crazy you ready I think I can see it you know in the saw movies when the people wake up

and they're in their contraptions and then the doll you know bicycles up in the TV and he looks at the TV and he's like I want to play a game you choose your life or you lose your face

scared the fuck out of me dog that's pretty good right instead of it being scary and them in a death trap on the first date you bring like a little portable TV or like just an iPhone you put it in a holster and you get the doll and you have the doll go look

I'm just looking for fornication on this date so if you want to get hot wings and then have sex and possibly never speak to each other again. That's something that you should expect. Or if you're looking for a relationship, although I find you incredibly attractive, I don't think it's in our best interest to clap cheeks.

Bro, but that's so fired. The chick's going to fall in love with you more for that. And be like, but dude, like, I know you're warning me, but you're such a complete legend with a setup, dude, that I'm in love with you and do what you want with me. Which is kind of a dub and kind of gets you out of trouble because you cannot apologize for being the dude And dude imagine if you're at a restaurant, you're next to them and you hear that whole spiel You're like yeah, I mean I'm stealing that from the saw guy yeah

For sure you're like this is the best men of Cadi I've ever had this guy's the man dude He's literally the man Dude also communication is just always fire I had a kink among many like you know I have cuck fantasies sometimes don't think i'd ever do it but one day that'll be public knowledge due to a data leak so i'm just going to get ahead of it but one of my other kinks was i used to like telling chicks i love them even if i didn't see a substantial future for us and i was a good boy about it where i would straight up like be like hey can i be weird and pretend i love you while we have sex

and dude honestly chicks were cool about it i think they've heard way gnarly or shit hunt hondo p they were like you're weird but at least you're not being mean to me like your kink is kind of nice hondo p uh also you can tell somebody you love them without wanting to be in a committed relationship you know you can care about somebody but like things may not just work you know maybe they aren't the exact person for you but you can still show them love i think that's what this bro could easily do you know maybe she's going through a hard time you just say i love you but this isn't right. And, you know, you'd go finger pop somebody else's asshole. Wow. Jake on his fuck boy shit. Yeah. What's up, King? Yeah. Jake. What's up

Mac Daddy Slayer, bro? This new engineer's the man. Dude, I thought I heard some claps cheek in from behind the soundboard. Yeah, scratch everything we said and roll with Jake, dog. Dude, Jake, that whole thing, that made me want to suck my own dick, bro. Yeah, dude, Let me get in on that. I have to let the two chicks that watch the pod know, you know. Oh, nice, dude. Hey, those numbers might go up a little bit, dude. It's only two.

I think let's do beefs and babes and just say, all right, dude. Do you have a beef? I do you have a beef. Let's do, I'll think of a beef. Dude, my beef is there's a group I care about and that I feel a part of. is totally under attack right now and no one is sticking up for them. And that is mid dudes that hook up with pretty girls and then they break up. And then the mid dude dates another girl.

West Wilson from Bravo is being attacked by the whole world. And basically what he's guilty of is like he dated someone who was hotter than him because he's like is funny. And then he didn't want to be with her. And he was like kind of like a bitch about it, but nothing like sinister. and then he dated her friend, but like he only casually dated the first chick. But like the thing that's like crazy to me is like the whole world's like, this dude sucks.

He's, he's not that cute. He's sweaty as shit. And I'm like, bro, do we hate game? Like can a dude not just like have some charisma? Like in my mind,

I'm like, it's kind of sick that this dude's like batting above his weight. I feel like I did that in my life and like, you know, if you put me next to some of the people I dated, you'd be like, this guy sucks, they shouldn't have dated them. You know, people have said that. And I don't know.

Like, that's hurtful to me. Like, I don't, I'm not saying he's a perfect guy and I'm not saying he handled it perfectly. But the level of hate he's getting does not fit the crime. And I think it's because people think he's not handsome enough to be able to do that stuff. And that very much upsets chicks. Is this too sincere?

No. That's my beef. It's good beef. I got a beef of the week, actually, if you guys wouldn't mind me. Yeah, fired off. Yeah, so my beef of the week is I just found out that honeybees cure breast cancer, right? And I was thinking, like, why the hell are we not using this more? Like, I would just put a bee on a chick's tit, you know, if she had cancer.

But then I read this context that Grock gave, which is it's 100% certain to kill breast cancer cells. but it has never been used in human trials. I don't know why are we not letting chicks put bees on their tits. Dude, this is a travesty. Good call, dude. We need to get the bees. Save the bees, save the boobs. Dude, on your next date, Jake,

you should have a bee sting your date's tit. I'd be like, I just made you cancer-free. Rescued. Chad, do you have a babe of the week? Yeah, I have a baby of the week. My baby of the week? Older women. Bro.

Now get your mind out of the gutter, dudes. Because you might be like, oh, Chad, you're trying to hook up with a coog? I only hit Scottsdale for golf. I'm talking about wise, older women. They are the true stokelords of society. dude if i'm in my dome just walk in my dog and i'm just in my head like what is the nasdaq and i see diane on my walk and she's like what's going on i'm like i'm just trying to figure out what the nasdaq is and she's like screw the nasdaq you bring your fiance over for pie later and i get so stoked or my mom dude

my mom my fiance was like to my mom she's like I'm having trouble sleeping you know what my mom said she said you guys should bone more wisdom

so yeah my baby of the week is older women just I love you so much shout out my mom shout out the Oracle from the Matrix shout out the pigeon lady from home alone too

dude for sure bro Dude, older women, like, dude, I'm 38. If I walk down the street and I see a smokeshow older chick, like, you know, she's like 35. Bro, I know what it is. Like, I'm like, I know, like, technically that's a geriatric pregnancy, but I'm into it. Is that weird? No. Thank you for saying that because it's just, like, opening it up for me.

I love it, dude. You can tell they do Pilates a lot. Pilates and wisdom. Dude, my babe of the week is just 1 p.m. on a Tuesday, ripping two sigs in the parking lot and then just taking a fat shit at the Burbank Public Library.